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theoldsports · 7 months

Text

Moody.

Coriolanus Snow x Reader | 3.3k words

depression, arguing, manipulation/toxic marriage, fucking each other over, possessiveness. it’s tamer than some of my others in an objective sense, but emphasizes dark thoughts and internal monologue.

requests always open! thanks for your kindnesses. i think this one is more experimental than the others. the objective here was to show how both of them mimic regular human feelings because they know they should, but it’s a poor pantomime. two sickos with nothing else but each other <3 i think i am going to call these works the Truculent series.

Coriolanus grew cold fast and did not tolerate heat well. He only slept only in his underclothes and wore heavy layers at the first sight of winter. His alarmingly fair complexion meant excessive sun wasn’t in the cards. In spite of his name, his scrappy build wasn’t meant to cut through harsh January terrain either. His nails chipped at labor, and his mind grew uneasy at laziness.

The world was tough on Coriolanus and he was tough right back on the word.

There was little Coriolanus was designed to do. Many people were strong, or smart, or wealthy, or drop-dead-gorgeous, or violent, or talented. There was something about every person Coriolanus could think of that made them stand out. He could easily categorized people by them. Here was the group of people known for their beautiful voices; here, those who could benchpress four-hundred pounds… Coriolanus could not be quantified like that.

Coriolanus Snow had to take what was left, like a runt. He was only good at two things: enduring and controlling. Since those were the only options leftover for him, Coriolanus became the best at them both. When, like Coriolanus, one has been gifted such shitty talents and nothing else, they have to figure out how to use them well enough to win against everyone with a better gift. Eventually, he realized his talents were not the ability to endure and the ability to control, but actually the ability to win. Eventually, he won so much, Coriolanus forgot there was ever a time when he lost (most days).

(The days he didn’t forget were the Bad Days).

Coriolanus felt like he couldn’t get out of bed on the Bad Days when the crushing weight of his failures and his ego landed across his chest. He told himself he was done with love after Lucy Gray. Disgusting Lucy Gray, a name he never wanted to even think again. He thought he would marry someone he hated and be done with love.

But junkies and addicts quit every Monday anyway.

Once he found [Y/N] again after their childhood together, there was no quitting. He knew it was bad for him, so he married what was bad for him to make sure he had an endless supply. How he hated that familiar feeling of obsession, the feeling of being so desperate that he had to rely on something other than himself. Somehow, he would have to sustain the feeling without losing his girl like an idiot. Marriage was likely the thing to steel their attempt at a bond.

Upon waking up to the alarm that morning, Coriolanus knew this was one of those Bad Days. Maybe it was the weather, the stress of Games. First year as head Gamemaker had almost driven Coriolanus mad under the pressure to succeed. He reached over to turn off the clock that buzzed painfully at six in the morning every day ending with a Y.

“Coryo…” [Y/N] mumbled, hearing him stir beside her. The sound must have woken her. She tossed an arm over his chest.

“‘Mornin’, Darling,” Coriolanus replied, wishing he were dead.

[Y/N] immediately picked up on the flatness of his tone, but she knew better than to push him too far. “All good?” She asked.

Coriolanus grumbled passively. He rarely did anything passively. Coriolanus grabbed the hand over his chest and dragged it up to the side of his face to rest it there, but only after he had kissed [Y/N] palm.

“You’re affectionate this morning.”

“I just missed you. I’ve been busy.” He said dismissively, pressing his face further into her hand.

“Well, thanks, dear, but don’t you have work?” [Y/N] asked. She propped her chin up on his shoulder to stare at him inquisitively. This attitude was odd. First thing in the morning during Games seasons, she got a kiss on the forehead and then Coriolanus was gone for a run and a shower and out til nightfall, barring special occasions.

“Don’t you?”

“Not til early evening today. Normally, you’re up and out of here first thing on a Tuesday morning,” [Y/N] told him, as she rubbed from his cheek to the side of his throat gently. She dragged her hand up his face to rest on his worried forehead. “You sick, or something?”

“No.” Coriolanus replied weakly. He closed his eyes again. He couldn’t face the legendary blunder he had made at work. Coriolanus had allowed his aides to code the program for the arena wrong. The open water was nowhere near as deep as was needed for the aquatic muttations. It was causing all sorts of trouble. The Games would end too fast if he didn’t do something, yet the stress of thinking of reaching across the nightstand for his Communicuff was paralyzing.

“You sure? You don’t feel feverish,” She confirmed. [Y/N] sat up to press her lips to his forehead just in case her cold hands had misread his temperature. “I can call the doctor, though.”

“[Y/N], stop. I’m fine.” Coriolanus lied harshly. He tried to sit up, but his psychological anguish made him feel like vomiting.

“Call in. Stay here.” She suggested, watching his weak movement to sit up.

“I’m head Gamemaker, I don’t get to call in. I need to go for a run’n I’ll be fine.”

[Y/N] raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t currently fine? Because you said—“

“I know what the fuck I said, okay?” Coriolanus barked. “Wanna recap anything else, or can I go?”

Sharply, [Y/N] scooted away from him to the other side of the bed. His moods were hardly predictable. She sighed. “Fine,” She said, averting her eyes to her hands like a scolded girl. “I was merely concerned that you—“

Coriolanus scoffed at her and shakily stood up from the bed. He quickly stepped into the closet and stepped joggers and a wifebeater. [Y/N] hoped he would grab a jacket as well; the weather was much too cold for mid summer. The Capitol itself got disproportionately cold often. She didn’t say anything out loud, though. “Get off my ass. Can’t you sit there and be grateful for once? With all that I do for you?Fucking hell.” Coriolanus said. He did not so much as look back at her as he stormed out of the bedroom.

[Y/N] could not understand what she had done wrong. The only things she had were provided through Coriolanus or simply the man himself. Once Coriolanus was presumed out of earshot, [Y/N] dropped her head into her hands and cried. Not tears of frustration or anger, but tears of self-pity that her one lifeline had yelled at her like that.

—

By the time Coriolanus returned from his run, it appeared his wife had gone out for the day. Strange since she usually capitalized on the extra sleep if she was not working downtown with Capitol News until evening shift. Since their reckless young adulthood of media stunts, Coriolanus had watched [Y/N] grow a stifling love for spectacle. With his support and their shared deranged name recognition, she had quickly risen from an editor, to a correspondent (brief. He had helped her but her way up and out of that position) to Associate Head of Programming for Capitol News. It helped to have his wife steer both their media narratives from the inside.

Except for when she was mad at him.

Coriolanus wiped the sweat off his brow in the shower as he thought. There was no doubt in his mind that [Y/N] was going to run some sort of primetime bulletin that made him look a fool during his Games coverage that night. It was bad enough that Lucky Flickerman was beginning to look like botox had gotten better of him, in addition to Coriolanus’ own fuck up with the muttations. Fact of the matter was that viewership was down and [Y/N] was going to make it worse. She was going to make his Bad Day worse and he knew it.

He could feel his heart rate racing as he stood under the shower’s cold stream. His equally cold blue eyes glanced across the bathroom at the clock. Six-fifty AM. Realistically, he need to be into the Gameroom by no later than eight-thirty, but it frustrated him to be in later than eight. In roughly an hour, how could he perform the maximum amount of damage control? Coriolanus’ head began to ache at the thought.

She had never run that harsh of a piece on him before, but it was a Bad Day, and no doubt she was angry with him for his attitude. [Y/N] was capable of a great many horrible things. Wouldn’t Coriolanus himself want to sting somebody back who he had known was pissy with him?

When he exited the shower, Coriolanus rushed to dress himself. [Y/N] said she wasn’t working until late. But where, then, had she gone? With all the thinking about his own feelings, he hadn’t considered that conundrum.

—

Coriolanus called her secretary, a boring woman with a name neither man nor wife could recall. According to that woman, [Y/N] had not gone early to work. He rang Tigris. Tigris said [Y/N] had not been over unless she was lying which Coriolanus wouldn’t put past her. The Plinths swear they had not encountered her.

Coriolanus stared down at his datapad of phone numbers. He refrained from calling all of their friends because he didn’t want to to exude the panic he was starting to feel for letting his wife run away. None of her belongings seemed out of place. Her suitcase was present in the back of their closet. Still, Coriolanus was terrified in the back of his mind that his wife had finally left him. A year and half was a dreadful lifespan for a marriage in his opinion. [Y/N] was not getting away that easily.

However, his watch told him it was eight and the Games weren’t going to run themselves.

Throughout the day, Coriolanus could not get his heart rate to settle. It made him feel ill. So ill, in fact, that he couldn’t keep down most of breakfast, or all of lunch. He skipped dinner all together. Who was [Y/N] to up and leave him like that?

The slight rational segment of his brain told him to walk it back, but the rest of his brain paid no mind. Coriolanus had nothing going for him other than gut instincts and his gut instincts now were implying something was fundamentally wrong.

Coriolanus’ decision-making was way off of its game at work. Coriolanus, for ratings, could not allow the Hunger Games to end on a Tuesday night. Somehow, he would have to create obstacles to last the four remaining tributes til Friday. He didn’t much like those odds. He was going to cave and hand in his resignation before the end of the day, he was certain.

Though, at eight in the evening, the primetime announcement or chiron that Coriolanus was a shitty husband or a murderer never cut through his broadcast to make his Day irreparably Bad. Nor did it at eight-thirty, or even nine. Coriolanus felt shaky. Maybe with relief for his reputation, maybe because he had nothing in his system.

If nothing had aired at Coriolanus’ expense on TV, had something happened to [Y/N] while he was on his run, or later? Was this some rebel attempt to bring the head Gamemaker to his knees? An attempt from a bitter rival to play games with him? Coriolanus frowned. Many things could have happened to his wife between six in the morning and nine at night. Coriolanus could barely stand up as it was. He clocked out and summoned his driver as quick as he could.

The second Coriolanus’ key entered the lock, he started shouting with the energy he had left. The door had yet to even close behind him. “[Y/N]! [Y/N], my love! Are you here?” Coriolanus pushed open every cabinet and closet on his way to the bedroom. Empty. He checked the closet - her suitcase remained. Coriolanus had called her office on his way home. She had not shown up for work. Unheard of.

Coriolanus ran through every room of the townhouse shouting [Y/N]’s name over and over until he felt hoarse. He could only imagine what the neighbors thought. Then he saw the attic door open.

The door remained open, but the stairs to the attic had snapped back up halfway and gotten jammed. “Coryo!” He heard [Y/N] yell faintly from upstairs.

“Darling, are you… in the attic?” Coriolanus shouted back cautiously under the open door. He watched as [Y/N]’s tearstained face peered around the edges of the attic door. It was really her. Not a Jabberjay, not a setup. Coriolanus exhaled for what felt like the first time all day. “Let me come up. I’ll come to you. Hold on!” Coriolanus’ finally left behind the Bad Day as he leapt into action. Protecting his wife was his job before Gamemaker, or any other obligation. Anyone in the Capitol would remember their vows, or her smashing cake into his face much to his dismay. Marriage was socially his most binding contract of all. Coriolanus did not take contractional obligations lightly.

Coriolanus had not realized that his wife was so delicate and helpless as to get stuck in the attic. She needed him more than he thought. His heart swelled with pride. Coriolanus grabbed a broomstick and hooked the hinge in the stairs. He yanked with all his strength until the ladder descended. Quickly, he dropped a large sack of rice from the kitchen counter over the bottom step in hopes it would weight the stairs down and he took off up them.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” Coriolanus asked, popping his head through the attic door

There on the unfinished attic floor sat [Y/N], bundled up in her thin teddy she had been wearing when Coriolanus left. She had only that and a too-short blanket Tigris had crocheted as a child. There was very little in the attic at all. Some of the Grandma’am’s belongings in clear glass bins and whatever surviving relics had carried on from their post-war childhoods.

It was clear [Y/N] had been crying. “I thought you would come back.” She sniffled.

Coriolanus urgently climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and sat carefully down beside [Y/N], wrapping her in his long arms possessively. “I thought something happened to you,” Also, that you tried to leave me. “You’re freezing… How long have you been up here?”

“Since you went on your run.”

“Shit… All that time?”

[Y/N] thought her tears had long since stopped, but seeing Coriolanus appear upset about ignoring her all day made her want his attention more. She wanted him to feel bad.

The tears started flowing the second his arms were looped around her waist. [Y/N] rested her head on Coriolanus’s shoulder heavily. “Coryo, you just left. I come up here all the time to think and I didn’t think it would—“

The blonde man’s heart softened at the sight of her. “Darling, Darling, shh, don’t cry,” Coriolanus combed his hand through sobbing [Y/N]’s hair. “You’re okay. I’m here now.”

Coriolanus felt like he was able to play the role of comforter and protector nobly tonight in a way he had recently felt inadequate at. With ease, he draped her legs across his lap and adjusted her arms around his neck so that her body was completely supported by his. She clung to him like a desperate child. The skin-to-skin contact was most appreciated by Coriolanus after the Day he’d had. Coriolanus excitedly drew a breathe from her neck, taking in her scent.

[Y/N] sobbed dramatically into Coriolanus’ dress shirt, but he pretended not to care like a good husband. “I’m sorry. I c-couldn’t—couldn’t get down. I th-thought you would come get me. I shout-ted for you,” she played up her tears. [Y/N] played up everything for attention; they both knew that. But the situation was mutually beneficial for people that liked attention so damn much. “You didn’t hear me.” You never hear me.

“Oh, Princess…” Coriolanus rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping it would warm her up. He pulled away from her regrettably and stripped off his blazer. He wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it carefully in front of her. He knew [Y/N] would like the gesture. Now, Coriolanus did not say I’m sorry. It was not his fault that [Y/N] had fled to the attic. He did instead try to make good from now forward. “I was so worried, I started to think something happened to you. I wanted to give you space, but then I didn’t hear from you all day. I’m relieved to know the only monster that got you was the attic,” Coriolanus leaned into her neck to kiss her in his favorite place. “You sat up here in all this junk and dust today; how are you still so stunning?”

[Y/N] laughed through a wet sniffle as Coriolanus searingly kissed her neck. “I didn’t know I’d worried you this much.” She muttered.

“I didn’t know I’d upset you this much,” Coriolanus agreed. That was as close to I’m sorry as she was going to get. “What did you do up here all day?”

“W-Went through some boxes. Found your old uniform.” [Y/N] smiled back.

“My Peacekeeper uniform?” Coriolanus asked in surprise. He hoped that she had not found anything else, if there was anything more scathing up in the attic.

“Mhm,” she affirmed. [Y/N] stood shakily from the floor, snot dripping from her nose. Snot, which she knew better than to wipe on the sleeve of his blazer. She followed where the beams were in the floor nimbly so she didn’t put her foot through the ceiling below her. [Y/N] collected a decently sized metal crate with a handle on it. PRIVATE SNOW, CORIOLANUS B. was stamped on top of the dusty, dented metal. She carried it back to Coriolanus and sat down with it in front of him.

“I didn’t go through everything in here, that felt intrusive, but I did pull this out,” they both knew that was a lie and that she had absolutely gone through every item, but Coriolanus let her keep going without cutting in. [Y/N] decided she would still let him explain the history behind every item he wanted to share anyway.

When she shook the long gray-blue jacket out of the box, something happened that hadn’t happened last time she took the jacket out. “Coriolanus, what’s this?” [Y/N] asked, plucking a bulky chain off the floor that had tumbled from the coat’s breast pocket.

“Ah, I’d forgotten where those went. Dog tags from my time in Twelve.” Coriolanus said.

“I still have my father’s. You were like a real soldier then, huh?”

“Peacekeeper.” Coriolanus corrected.

“Yes, Peacekeeper.” [Y/N] agreed quietly.

[Y/N] held the two identical pendants in her hands.

SNOW, CORIOLANUS

CITADEL, CAPITOL

4147769218S 12

O NEG

CREMATE

His entire identity all on two pieces of nickel. While she squinted at the embossed metal, Coriolanus leaned forward across the box that had once held his entire world and grabbed the chain she was holding as well as her hands. [Y/N]’s red weepy eyes met his crystal clear blue ones. “Would you like them?”

“You don’t want to keep them?”

“Certainly not. My name right there on your chest? That’s preferable to them sitting in a dusty box forever. People will know who you belong to if you wander off like this again. ‘Know you’re not, hm, like… up for finders-keepers.” Coriolanus shifted them out of [Y/N]’s hands and dropped the chain around her neck as if it were the finest gold necklace he had ever purchased her.

Coriolanus put that box up in the attic because he had not wanted to think about it ever again. Above all, though, Coriolanus Snow was an opportunistic man and he put those dog tags on [Y/N] just like he had Lucy Gray because he knew this move was flattering. If it worked once, it would work again. Sickeningly, he pulled out the same words he had used before too: “There. All mine.”

“All yours.” [Y/N] replied.

TAGLIST:

@badwicht @stelleduarte @cinnamongirl127 @prettyppetty @soulessien @bejeweledreverie @jjstyles @arminsarlerts @chmpgneprblem @co1dmountains @miscellaneousmoonchild @lille999 @pumkinnxsmut @taykorsyogurt @ndycrls @watermelonharry @nananarwhal @ohantonia @catlover420sstuff @justaproudslytherpuff @notarabellasstuff @scarytiger111 @zucchinimalfoy @secretsicanthideanymore @h-l-vlovesvintage @dannydevsbbg @clintsupremacy @lookclosernow @10ava01 @or-was-it-just-a-dream @lucielsstuff @fairyydvst

as usual, apologies if your tag didn’t work. tumblr’s tough like that. also so sorry if i forgot anyone! remind me if i did!

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #hunger games #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #the hunger games

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phantomspiderr · 1 year

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Always

Pairing: Marc Spector x gn!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings/tags: fluff, fluff, fluff, look i think Marc would be into Formula 1, is that just because I love F1... maybe?, sleepy!reader, soft!Marc🥰

a/n: 😬… I’m backkkkkkkk. Not that I think anyone noticed I was gone but I started anxiety meds and they've taken some getting used to. But I opened up my drafts the other day and found this and finished it, so essentially I started making it, had a breakdown... bon appetite?

(not my gif)

The other side of the bed’s cold, your hand swipes across the empty space in search of the warmth that is normally there. Your sleep-addled mind pauses to think—had your boyfriend even come to bed? What time was it? Is that noise in your head? Slowly, you pull yourself up from the warm cocoon of the duvet and your hands rub at your face in an attempt to erase the sleep that still clings to you. Blinking a few times you try to adjust your eyes to being open again as your hands fall into your lap. You can just make out some light in between the gaps in the bookshelf that separates the bed from the rest of the room. Your tired eyes look to his side of the bed again, still empty and the alarm clock shines the time a little too brightly, 6:22am. Reluctantly you move your stiff legs, pushing the warm duvet off of them and whining a little as the cold air in the flat hits them. You pull yourself out of the bed, immediately grabbing the blanket from the end of the mattress to wrap around yourself. The noise you’d heard becomes clearer now, it sounds like someone talking but it’s fast and all mushes together in your head. You take steps toward it, rounding the bookshelf to find exactly what you were missing.

“Hey,” Marc’s voice comes out in a whisper and he sits up the second his eyes clock you, his hand reaching for the tv remote immediately. The volume goes down with each push of the button, “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You keep taking slow steps towards him, passing in front of the tv and going around the coffee table until you reach the couch.

“Are you okay?” You completely disregard his question in favour of asking your own as you sit next to him, he nods whispering out a yeah and so you move your body to lay down, placing your head in his lap.

“I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep,” you look up at him as he speaks. One of his hands comes to rest on top of your head, “plus there’s a race on.” He looks back to the tv and you follow his gaze, twisting until you lie completely on your side.

“What’s a red flag?” Your head turns so you can look at him again briefly, a little smile graces his face and then you go back to staring at the screen, trying to understand why in the middle of a race none of the cars are moving.

“One of the drivers went into the barrier and they have to stop the race to clean it up before they continue. It just means it’s not safe for anyone to be on the track,” Marc explains it so gently, no annoyance or condescension crosses his tone for your lack of knowing.

“Are they okay?” There’s a slight hint of worry and you almost sound like a scared child.

“Yeah sweetheart, look, that's Albon there.” He points towards the screen and you watch as it briefly shows a young-looking guy speaking with someone else, “it was his car that hit the barrier but he got out of it straight away.”

For a minute it’s quiet, you both just watch the screen as it shows different people. Marc had turned the volume up a bit and you could make out what the commentators were saying now they’d slowed down their talking. Without any prompting, Marc starts to quietly tell you who everyone is every time the picture changes to someone new. He shares little pieces of knowledge with every name and you find listening to him soothing. You knew he sometimes watched these races but you’d never really taken the time to sit down and watch one with him. You’re starting to regret never doing it before, you’d been missing out on this beautiful opportunity to get to know his interests better.

Ultimately, though that tiredness still clings to your mind and the way his voice is quietly lulling you makes you think of the times when Steven reads you to sleep. Just as the race starts up again, your eyes begin to feel heavy, the blinks start getting slower and longer. You’re unsure if Marc’s noticed because he keeps calmly explaining what’s happening as it happens. His fingers had absentmindedly started rubbing circles into your scalp which was not helping the way you were quickly slipping back into your sleeping state. The tv eventually disappears, and your eyes are finally sealed shut again but some conscious part of your brain can still make out the race commentary in the background alongside Marc’s soothing voice.

The next thing you know it’s daylight, the sun shines brightly through the uncovered windows. It hurts your eyes when they open and instinctively you turn your body away from it, glad when you’re met with darkness. You comfortably bury your face into the warmth of Marc’s stomach while trying your best to stretch your stiff limbs without really putting much effort into it. You take in a deep breath before just relaxing for a moment. Your mind slowly wakes as you lay there, coherent thoughts begin to form and you start to feel more awake with each passing second. You could’ve sworn you’d only been asleep for a few minutes. The tv is still making quiet noise in the background and you can feel Marc taking slow deep breaths.

Once your brain has managed to come back to some semblance of consciousness, you slowly pull yourself to sit up on the couch. The sight you’re met with makes your heart melt it doesn’t matter how many times you wake up next to him, each time feels like the first. He looks so peaceful, his head propped on his fist that leans on the arm of the couch. Eyes closed, hair sticking around every which way and lips slightly parted. You admire him for a minute before you think about how much his neck is going to hurt after sleeping in this position. As slowly as you can you twist yourself around again and stand, taking a second for your brain to catch up with your body’s movements. Then gently you tuck your hands under his knees, pulling on the deadweight and turning them to rest on the couch. All the movement rouses Marc from his sleep, the top half of his body reluctantly following the bottom with a grumble.

“It’s okay, go back to sleep.” Quietly you shush him as he continues to wiggle around until he’s settled down on the couch where you were just laying. The crease in his eyebrow slowly relaxes as your fingers comb through his hair, you’re crouched next to him trying to push him back into his little slumber. A long sigh comes from deep within his chest and you just know he’s back in dreamland. With a gentle kiss to his temple, you stand again, grabbing the blanket that had fallen to the floor at some point and draping it over his body. Satisfied with how much more comfortable he looks now you go to pull yourself away to shower and maybe start on breakfast—or maybe brunch at this point, but a hand grazes your leg.

“Stay,” the mumble of a plea falls past his lips as his hand blindly searches for yours. Without a second thought, you give in, encouraging him to lift his head so you can slip back onto the couch. Thoughts of how good a shower would be right now or of what to cook to rid the rumble in your stomach disappear completely. Now you sit with Marc’s head in your lap, mirroring the exact position you’d both been in just moments prior. You take a long moment to just watch him, the way he nuzzles his head into your thighs and how relaxed he looks for a change. Then you’re thinking about how happy he makes you. How lucky you feel to be a part of this moment and how you only ever want to be right here with him, always.

#moon knight x reader #moon knight fanfic #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #marc spector fluff #marc spector fanfic #marc spector fanfiction #marc spector x fem!reader #marc spector fic #marc spector #moon knight x you #moon knight fluff #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #moonknight #moon knight system

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harmonicakai · 1 month

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Midas Touch

Part 2 of the "Somebody Else" series

Pairing: Soobin x Reader, Yeonjun x Reader

Summary: As you and Soobin work on becoming a more believable fake couple, you both realize your initial impressions of each other aren't as accurate as you thought.

Tropes: love triangle, unrequited love, fake dating, frat boy!yeonjun, nerd!soobin, roommates, college AU, childhood best friends

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: sexual TENSION (mdni!), swearing, yj is an asshole, mentions of masturbation and sex

A/N: Yeonjun is barely in this sorry guys :-(

"The look of you when I open my eyes So bright that I couldn’t dare to approach My heart that wants to be like you Gets colored, filled with you" —New, Yves

Your room is much nicer than Soobin’s, albeit messier. There’s clothes scattered all across the floor, and your twin sized bed is covered in stuffed animals.

“Sorry,” you apologize, piling things onto your desk chair. “I didn’t think anybody would actually be coming over tonight. I mean, not like anybody is here any other night, either.”

“That’s okay,” Soobin reassures you. He’s relieved to hear that you don’t tend to have any late night visitors. You grab one of your favorite throw blankets and chuck it at him.

“Hope you’re okay with the floor,” you say. “If this actually becomes a regular thing, I’ll work out a more comfortable sleeping arrangement.”

“I’m good with whatever,” he says. Really, he thinks that if you let him sleep in your bed with you, he’d probably explode, so this is a good thing.

“Here,” you say, handing him a spare toothbrush. “Let’s get unready.”

Soobin is mesmerized at watching your nighttime routine, but he’s especially interested in the way you remove your makeup and layer on a complex combination of skincare products. You’re even nice enough to share and guide him through each step.

“This one brightens your face,” you explain, “And this one helps with texture.”

Soobin’s never considered any of these issues before. He kind of just rinses his face with water and things work out okay for him.

You watch him to make sure he goes in the right order, and he can’t help but notice how you’re equally as beautiful without makeup. You’ve got a silly plush headband pushing your hair out of your face, and you’ve given him one to match.

It all feels a bit too real standing at the bathroom sink together.

“All done?” you ask, snapping him out of his daydream. He nods, and you lead him back to your bedroom.

When you get back, your roommate, Jia, is sitting in the common room eating a tub of ice cream and watching TV. She’s cool with you bringing Yeonjun around all the time, but isn’t used to seeing new faces pop up.

“Hi,” you greet her, before gesturing to your guest. “This is Soobin. Soobin, this is my roommate, Jia.”

“Hi,” he says, giving an awkward wave. Jia gives a half grin, her mouth full, before waving and shooting you a look that says she’s going to need every detail later.

“We’ll be in my room,” you say, grabbing Soobin’s hand and dragging him along.

While things felt blissfully domestic in the bathroom, they’re as awkward as can be in the bedroom. The two of you really know nothing about each other, except for maybe the classes you take.

Soobin wonders if you’re just tired or you just don’t want to talk to him. For his sake, he decides on the former, watching as you switch the lamp off and turn to face the wall.

“Goodnight, Soobin,” you say, hoping he’s comfortable enough on your floor.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replies. His heartbeat is still racing, and he spends a good portion of the night listening to the way your breathing becomes slow and steady, willing himself to match its pace. That night, all he dreams about is you.

—————-

If things were awkward right before bed, they’re even worse when you and Soobin wake up to a fire alarm.

“Soobin,” you say, crawling out of bed and shaking him. He must be a heavy sleeper. “Soobin, get up.”

His eyes flutter open and he’s got a dopey smile when he sees you. “Huh? What time is it?”

“It’s only six, but there’s a fire alarm. We have to go outside.” You offer a hand to help him up, but he looks at you funny. “Is something wrong?”

“I can’t get up,” he gulps, glancing at his crotch. “Morning wood.”

“Nobody will care,” you huff, covering your ears in an attempt to dampen the siren. “I’m sorry. I just—I can’t stand loud noises.”

A little embarrassment is nothing compared to making sure you’re comfortable. In an instant, Soobin is up, your blanket wrapped around him like a cape as you file into the crowd of evacuating students.

“Hold my hand,” you whisper, and he doesn’t need anymore convincing before lacing his fingers into yours. To everybody, you look like a real couple. People mostly know you around campus as Yeonjun’s friend, so hopefully they’ll start to talk when they see you with another guy for once.

Soobin notices how you’re shivering in just a t-shirt and sleep shorts and wraps the blanket around you too, pulling you in to share his body heat. He’s so cozy, and his chest feels more solid than you expected.

“Thank you,” you say, peering up at him, your arms finding their way around his waist. His hair is messier than you’ve ever seen it, but it somehow works for him. He smiles back at you, and you note his dimples and the way his eyes light up.

Choi Soobin is cute. He might not be your type, but any girl would be lucky to have him.

Even though he doesn’t really want to, Soobin heads back to his own room after the fire alarm is over. It was really sweet of him to keep you company while you waited, you think to yourself.

When Soobin gets back, Yeonjun is sitting in the kitchen, nursing his hangover with a huge spread of breakfast.

“Look who’s back,” Yeonjun slurs, wearing sunglasses indoors. “Have fun with Y/N?”

“I did, actually. She showed me her skincare routine.”

“Is that all she showed you?” He’s lifted his sunglasses up now.

“Yes.” Soobin knows if he says more, it’ll be too obvious the relationship is fake.

“So the girl of your dreams took you to her bedroom and you didn’t hook up with her?”

“It’s not like that between us,” Soobin asserts. “I want to take my time. Treat her right.”

“Soob,” Yeonjun starts, a grin plastered on his face. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

“And what if I am?”

“I knew it!” Yeonjun leans into the couch, clapping.

“I’m going to shower,” Soobin says, walking towards the bathroom.

“Don’t take too long jacking off to Y/N,” his roommate calls after him.

“You’re gross!”

“Maybe, but I’m right, aren’t I?”

Yeonjun is right. As soon as Soobin steps under the hot water, he can’t get you off of his mind. The way your fingers felt laced through his hair, or the taste of your lip gloss. Your cute moles that your foundation usually covers up and the way you snuggled into him to keep warm.

He’s got it bad, finishing after he’s barely even touched himself. That’s the kind of effect you have on him, and he knows that if he’s going to be around you more and more, he’s going to have to learn to control himself.

When he gets out of the shower, you’re sitting on the couch, looking as beautiful as ever. Soobin stops dead in his tracks, blinking back the water that’s dripping from his hair. In an attempt to cover up his bare chest, he almost drops the towel from around his waist.

“Y/N! Hi–hey!” he stutters, his eyes wide. What were you doing here and why were you so dressed up?

“Hi, Soobie,” you smile at him, standing up and hugging him. “Ooh, bad idea. You’re getting me all wet.”

“That’s probably the only way he can,” Yeonjun chuckles. You turn and shoot him a dirty look.

“Hurry up and put some clothes on,” you tell Soobin. “I don’t want to lose our reservation.”

“Right, yes. Sorry,” he says, walking past you and into his room.

“Please tell me you’re not just messing with that poor boy,” Yeonjun sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think he’d ever recover.”

“No, Yeonjun,” you cross your arms. “Unlike some people, it matters who I bring home with me.”

“So, you actually like him?”

“He’s sweet,” you reason, refusing to elaborate any further.

“Am I not?” You couldn’t tell if you could sense a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

“Why don’t you ask one of the other girls you kissed the other night and get back to me?” Your anger catches both you and him off guard. Usually, you’re Yeonjun’s doormat.

You stare at each other in silence before finally looking away. It feels like hours before Soobin comes back out of his room, wearing his glasses and a white button down. It’s nerdy, but in a cute way. It’s quintessentially him.

“Ready?” you ask, holding out your hand for him.

“Yeah, ready,” he says, lacing his fingers into yours. “Bye, Yeonjun. We’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” he mutters, eyes locked on his phone screen. “Have fun.”

You close the door behind you without a word.

—————-

“This isn’t what I was expecting when you said we had a reservation,” Soobin says, eyeing the study room in the library that you’ve rented out for the next couple of hours. “I could’ve at least brought some homework to do.”

“This isn’t a study date,” you clarify. “Well, technically it is, except we’re studying each other. If we’re going to be a couple, we need to look and act like one.”

“Agreed.” Soobin’s palms are already starting to sweat. He had always thought of you as quiet and sweet around Yeonjun, but you seem so confident when it’s just you and him.

“I brought a game for us to play to get to know each other better,” you say, opening up your tote bag and digging out a deck of cards. “We’ll start with level one. What was the first thing you noticed about me?”

“You’re beautiful,” Soobin blurts out. His wording sticks in your head. Usually, people call you cute or pretty, but beautiful has a whole other meaning to it.

“Thank you,” you say, hoping he can’t see you blush. “I noticed how nice you were.”

“Or you didn’t notice me at all,” he says, staring at the floor.

“What do you mean?” you ask, looking at him in confusion.

“We’ve technically met twice. You were drunk the first time, and you didn’t really remember, so the second time we met, you thought it was the first. I had to reintroduce myself.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.” He thought you were beautiful even when you were blackout drunk.

“It’s okay,” he shrugs. “It gave me a second chance to make a good first impression.”

“And you did,” you assure him. “All of Yeonjun’s friends are dicks, so it was really nice to meet one who isn’t.”

“I don’t think me and Yeonjun are friends,” he mutters.

“You don’t?” It had never occurred to you that Soobin didn’t like Yeonjun.

“Does it seem like we’re friends?”

“Well… no, I guess not,” you say, looking back at the deck in your hands.

“He’s kind of an asshole,” Soobin laughs. He’s right, you think to yourself, but it’s not something you’ve ever been willing to accept.

“He wasn’t always like that,” you quip back. “He used to be really sweet. I don’t know. Something just changed between highschool and college. He wanted to be cool and went on this whole journey to reinvent himself.”

“So, he’s completely different, but you’re still in love with him?”

You have no idea how to answer that question. Soobin knows he shouldn’t have asked it.

“Let’s skip to level two,” you change the subject, digging through the cards. “What's the most attractive thing I do without realizing it?”

Soobin swallows hard. He thinks everything you do is attractive. Even the way you’re looking at him right now, the corners of your mouth slightly upturned, makes his heart beat faster. He weighs his options. “You’re bossy.”

“You like that?” you laugh. There were so many other things he could have picked about you.

“Yes. You know exactly what you want and you aren’t afraid to tell me. It’s–it’s very attractive.”

“Fair enough.” You lean back in your chair, eyeing him up and down. “You have nice hands.”

“Really?” he says, looking at them. “Nobody’s ever told me that.”

“Dude,” you say, taking one into your grasp and comparing it to yours. “They’re huge. It’s hot.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, pulling his hand away and hiding his face.

“Did I say something wrong?” you ask him. He looks up at you, surprised.

“No! I’m just, I’m not used to being complimented. Especially not on my appearance.” It’s never occurred to you that some people don’t get showered with comments on how good they look all the time, especially someone as handsome as Soobin.

“Soobin,” you say, locking eyes with him. “You are very attractive. From one pretty person to another, okay?”

“Okay,” he laughs awkwardly. “It’s hard to argue with that.”

“You know what?” You set the deck of cards down on the table. “Fuck the game. Let’s do something more fun.”

“Like what?”

“Kissing lessons,” you grin.

“What!?” Soobin looks terrified. He checks behind his shoulder to make sure the room’s blinds are shut.

“If we want to make Yeonjun jealous, you’re going to have to look like you can kiss me better than he can. That’ll really get on his nerves.”

“Was I… bad at kissing the other night?”

“No, but you were a little desperate,” you explain.

“Sorry.” He’s looking away again.

“Stop apologizing to me. I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

“Oh. Then why do I need lessons?”

“Listen, I’m all for my fake boyfriend seeming obsessed with me, but if you keep kissing me like it’s the end of the world, it’s not going to seem like we do it on the regular.”

“Makes sense.”

“Exactly. So, let’s practice. We’ll start easy with cheek kisses. Don’t flinch.” You lean over and place a quick kiss on Soobin’s cheek, and he does his best to stay still. “See, was that so hard?”

“I guess not,” he breathes out.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “You guess?”

“It wasn’t,” he clarifies. “What’s next?”

You grab both of his hands and pull him to his feet. “Hug me like you missed me.”

He doesn’t need much more instruction, wrapping his arms around your waist until there’s no space between the two of you. “Now what?”

“Kiss the top of my head.” Soobin places a gentle kiss at the crown of your head, your shampoo smelling like citrus. You look up at him with a smile.

“Good job,” you say. “Now my forehead, and then my cheek, and then my nose.”

One of his hands moves to cup your face, following your instructions carefully. Once he’s placed a kiss on the tip of your nose, he doesn’t pull away. “And your mouth?”

You nod, leaning in until your lips connect. He’s more cautious this time, making sure it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to swallow you whole.

“How was that?” he asks, breaking away.

“It was nice,” you say. “Maybe a little too gentle.”

Instead of replying, Soobin pulls you into another kiss, his grip on your waist tightening and his mouth open. “Better?”

“Better,” you affirm before kissing him again. Your hands slip into his hair, tugging on it slightly. Soobin leans further into you until you’re pressed against the blackboard.

His tongue finds its way into your mouth and to your surprise, you whimper. And just like that, Soobin is hard, all of his nervousness melting away to focus on pleasing you. He pulls away, his lips kissing their way down your jaw and onto your neck.

“Does this feel good?” he asks you, sucking on the sensitive skin. The best answer you can give him is a strained moan. You pray he doesn’t leave a mark.

“You—you’re a fast learner,” you stammer. One of his hands brushes the hemline of your shirt, prompting you to snap into reality and push him away. “That was good. You did good.”

Soobin steps back, his body no longer keeping you upright. You both do your best to regain your composure, wiping your lips dry and fixing your hair.

“I have a good teacher,” he says, suddenly feeling awkward again. He prays you don’t notice his hard on, even though it was just pressed up against you. Except it’s all you can think about.

If it were anybody else, you’d probably laugh and tease them about it, but not Soobin. You had no idea how much you’d enjoy this. Sure, kissing him while drunk and heartbroken at the party was fun, but this was different.

“Well, I think we’ve had a successful day,” you say, quickly gathering the cards off the table and shoving them into your bag. “I have to run. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Oh. Yeah, okay,” he smiles, his stupid dimples showing. “I’ll see you later, Y/N!”

And with that, you’ve slammed the study room’s door behind you, willing yourself to think about literally anything or anyone else on the way back to your dorm.

—————-

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P.S.: Please shoot me an ask or a reply if you’d like to be added to (or removed from) the taglist! Also, I struggle to keep up with different lists for individual members, but if you really don’t want to be tagged on all of my works, just let me know and I will do my best to keep things separate <3

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jinkicake · 1 year

Text

After A Long Night...

He returns home to you.

Diluc, Kaeya, Ayato, Xiao x Reader

A/N: I originally wrote this for my beloved Kaeya and then i did the same for Xiao and then Diluc and surprise, Ayato. Anyway,,,, i need fluff and all things sweet. forgive me! this might be my fav fluff... i think im getting better at it!

WC - 2.2k

~~~

Diluc R.

When it comes to his everyday life, Diluc doesn’t regret it very much. The young tycoon owner knows exactly what role he has to play and what needs to get done.

Despite his strong resolve and fortitude, it still physically pains his sensitive heart to be away from you.

Diluc knows how lucky he is to have you, he’s aware of the fact all too well. He cherishes you and loves you day in and day out, spoiling you rotten in the hopes that his actions will convey his own intimate feelings for you. Somedays he worries that his double life will be too much for your kind soul to handle.

If you were to disappear from his life, the winery owner fears he would never see light in his own dark world again.

He tries his best to return from his nightly missions at a reasonable time, just when the moon is descending from its peak position. There is nothing more Diluc looks forward to than you asleep in his bed. Knowing that he gets to hold you in his arms and rest is what gets the man through each day.

Although he can’t stand the teasing from his brother, Diluc is a sap for you and everyone knows it. He’s not ashamed of it.

His love for you is what carries him quietly through the house once he locks the main doors of the large home. Diluc checks to make sure all doors and windows are locked before quietly taking off his external accessories, hanging them by the door to his office, and then finally making his way to your shared bedroom.

At the sight of you asleep in his bed, messily splayed out (because you can never get comfortable without him), Diluc sighs. He tugs at the loose ponytail holding his hair up and lets his fiery strands run freely against his back. Most nights, he would brush his hair and maybe apply some oil to the ends but all Diluc can focus on now is you.

He happily sneaks under the covers and carefully presses his body into yours. The way you melt into his embrace is almost instant. Diluc softly kisses your temple before moving his arm to wrap around your waist. Gently, he squeezes you in his hold and runs his nose along your jaw.

“My love,” He can’t help but murmur against your skin, sometimes it becomes too hard to fight the hold you have over him. However, the moment you begin to stir, Diluc freezes. There’s nothing he hates more than waking you up, knowing how highly you value your sleep. It’s as if an internal alarm is ringing in his mind and Diluc all but holds his breath as your fingers tighten against his hold.

“Diluc?” Your sleepy tone melts into a whine as you shift and turn on your side to press your face into his chest. “When did you get back?”

The large man couldn’t pretend to be asleep even if he tried.

Diluc kisses your temple again.

“Not too long ago,” His comforting voice, deep and kind nearly lulls you back to sleep. It’s hard fighting fatigue when you’re in his arms. “go back to bed.” When you look up at him and Diluc sees the pout on your face, he doesn’t hesitate to kiss it off.

“We can talk in the morning, dearest. I promise.”

Kaeya A.

Most nights, Kaeya prefers a drink. He often works late and into the evening so one of the only things that provide him with a sense of pleasure is the tart fruity taste of wine on his tongue.

Every night before he sets out in search of a bar, he finds his way back home to you. Regardless of his alcoholic desires, there’s something special about sharing extra time with you in the evening. Sometimes, the captain finds himself skipping the drinks and staying inside to enjoy your loving embrace.

Tonight is no different than his other nights. Kaeya is caught up in work, having to check through documents and give them a seal of approval, and he finishes his tasks late. It’s nearly so late that the bars are almost closed and the moon is high up in the night sky.

For once, closed bars are not a concern to Kaeya because when he is most exhausted he always searches for you. He always returns to you.

“Oh, my love,” Kaeya’s quiet coo does not reach your ears from where he stands in the doorway to your apartment. The cavalry captain is extremely careful as he maneuvers the space and makes sure to be extremely quiet as he shuts and locks the door. He slips off his shoes and places his keys on a hook against the wall before making his way over to you.

Kaeya loves to watch you sleep. You’re completely angelic and the sight always makes him feel as if he has been punched in the gut, he’s absolutely winded by your beauty every single time. He can’t help but reach out and brush his cold knuckles against your soft cheek.

In the morning, he’ll have to chide you for falling asleep at the table but he knows this wouldn’t have happened if he came home earlier. It’s more his fault than it is yours, he can never find a flaw in you. In his eyes, you can do no wrong.

Keeping his touch light and soft, Kaeya cups your shoulders before leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. His lips turn incredibly warm at the feeling of your skin and Kaeya attempts to fight off the flush he is feeling. You aren’t even awake and you’re still making the man flustered.

When you lightly begin to stir in your sleep, Kaeya only places more kisses along your face. He pecks your cheek and then your nose before gracing your forehead again.

“Hello, angel,” He whispers against your temple before leaving his lips glued to the spot. You grumble at him, just as he expected, before trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.

“Kaeya,” Your quiet whisper makes his heart skip a beat and any fatigue he was feeling earlier in the night is nearly washed away by your voice. The way your eyes flicker over his features, darting from his eye to his lips makes the captain burn up inside. You’ve always been so shy with him. “how was work?”

“Dull, boring, slow.” He answers as he gently tugs on your wrist, pulling you up from your chair. There is no fight in you as Kaeya leads you toward your bedroom. “However, I did hear new speculations about Donna’s love life. Lisa spoils me whenever I drop off a book on time, would you like to hear about it?”

By the knowing smile on your face, as you fall into bed with Kaeya in hot pursuit, it’s going to be another evening where you both talk through the night.

K. Ayato

Ayato hates being away from you. He detests impending work and having to be locked away in his office for days on end, running on little sleep, just to see that deadlines are met. The thought of you alone in your shared room with your lone futon spread on the floor makes his heart ache.

For the last couple of days, Ayato has been in a time crunch. He has to get some official documents between two clans under wraps before their political marriage or the entire relationship will be in shambles. The task itself is not hard but, it is incredibly tedious.

When all Ayato wants to do is spend some time with his beloved, small pesky tasks become the bane of his existence.

“Would you like some tea, my lord?” Thoma’s gentle knock on the sliding door reminds Ayato to stay focused, that he still has work to finish.

“There is no need for that, Thoma. I’m almost finished up, please get some rest.”

As Thoma excuses himself for the evening, the head of the Kamisato clan smiles knowing that he can continue working at night knowing he has such formidable people beside him. Ayato thumbs through the documents again and mulls over the agreements two more times. He ensures that each of the bargains balances out the other before stacking the papers in a neat pile.

One more time, he will go over each and make sure that they’re in proper order and format.

When the mind-numbing task is complete, Ayato places the documents in the bin on his desk for it to be carried out in the morning. He stands tall from his low workstation and stretches until a satisfying pop reaches his ears.

It’s now early in the morning with the sun sure to rise in just another few hours. Ayato wastes no time in making a quick trip to your bedroom. He is silent in his steps as he presses against the hardwood of the floors and slides open your door.

He could almost sigh at the sight of you curled up and deep in sleep. Ayato makes quick work of closing the door and then kneels beside you, he lifts your hands up to his face so that he can kiss the inside of your wrist. In his own way, it’s like a silent apology for making you spend the last few nights alone.

Ayato doesn’t even bother himself with getting into his own futon, neatly made and laid out since earlier in the night. He settles in right beside you and squeezes into the tight space. With his long arms, he wraps them around your torso before tracing your hip.

Kiss after kiss, he places soft pecks of his lips underneath your ear. He doesn’t mean to wake you and he certainly doesn’t want to but, he just can’t keep his hands off of you.

Luckily for him, you are a heavy sleeper.

Fatigue finds the commissioner easily and he shuts his eyes to try and catch a break from the feeling. In your touch, Ayato finds himself at ease. Relaxation is of second nature to him and it is all because of you.

“Thank you, darling,” He sweetly kisses your ear before melting into the sheets, slumber is sure to find him just as it had found you.

Xiao

Xiao doesn’t often feel fatigued. There are some nights when he almost wishes something new would happen in his monotonous battle of protecting Liyue but, he doesn’t get tired of it.

Well, in the past, Xiao did not get burned out so easily.

The adeptus thinks you’re partly to blame if he could ever find a fault in your character. You’ve got him in some sort of routine.

In the past, Xiao would stay out until the sun came up patrolling one area before moving on to another. It was a cycle that he would consistently keep up with day in and day out.

The schedule he has now is a little different. Instead of clashing with hostile creatures throughout the night, he finds himself before your door once the moon peaks past the highest point in the starry sky. Xiao is still adamant about protecting Liyue but, he also prides himself on making you happy too.

He doesn’t understand why his heart tugs in his chest at a certain point during the night every single day. It’s a tug that demands him to return home, to find his spot in your bed and hold you in his arms until you stir awake and kiss his fingers.

Xiao melts whenever you pamper him, it makes him feel less alone.

Like most nights since your entry into his life, tonight is not so different. Xiao finishes his duties once the moon reaches high into the sky and when his heart starts to become impatient, he finds himself outside of your window with simple teleportation.

The adeptus tries to remember that he has a key and walks around to your door to quietly unlock your apartment. He places his staff beside your coat rack and takes off his shoes, dropping his mask on the nearby table, after he locks the door and ensures that it is shut. Your apartment is small and cozy and Xiao focused his eyes on you as soon as he walks into your bedroom.

It’s not a surprise that you’re asleep, but Xiao softly gasps when he reaches the foot of your bed. Whenever he is in your presence the eternal ache that he feels starts to dull. The sharp pain in the ends of his fingertips and the tips of his ears become numb. For a mortal, Xiao considers you to be quite special.

He doesn’t say anything as he softly gets into your bed and gently lifts up the covers to get beside you. The adeptus can’t help himself from touching you as soon as you are within his reach. Almost immediately, Xiao wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest. He remains quiet as he buries his face into your neck but, his heart leaps at the feeling of your stirring awake.

The man hates to wake you, he truly does, but the feeling of your hand reaching for his own is something Xiao will never get tired of.

“Welcome home,” Your sleepy tone and sweet whisper keep him grounded and alive each day. The way you kiss his knuckles soothes all the aches the adeptus has ever felt. “I missed you.”

#diluc ragnvindr x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #Kamisato Ayato x reader #xiao x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #ayato x reader #xiao x you #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #diluc fluff #kaeya fluff #Ayato fluff #xiao fluff

3K notes · View notes

ashwhowrites · 3 months

Note

Hi! can I please request an Older! Eddie Munson x Hargrove! reader, maybe they're neighbors and they hate each other, Eddie gets tired of of "the Hargrove kid" (reader) always doing parties, he tried to talk with Billy, Reader's dad, but he didn't thought his daughter would be like that, so Eddie talks with reader again, so they end up making out (maybe you could add smut) p.s I think I sent you this request before, but I don't remember!

Older Eddie 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting

⚠️ smutty

Weekend nights

Eddie groaned as the loud music woke him up from his sleep. He opened his eyes and glared toward his alarm clock, he sighed. Another Friday night rest was interrupted by his neighbor.

He reached over for his landline and dialed his neighbor, it rang and rang. Then sent him to voicemail. He rolled his eyes as his call remained ignored by the loud party going on. He slipped on a shirt and walked over to his window. Not to his surprise, the yard was covered in young kids.

Eddie had been dealing with his neighbor every weekend for the past month, and he was tired of it.

Eddie and Y/N weren't friends, and not even close to being friendly neighbors. Y/N got on Eddie's nerves. The way she purposely drove him crazy then batted her eyelashes and faked innocence. She crashed her car into his garbage bins and refused to take the blame. On Halloween she egged his house, only to send him a kiss when he marched out the door. She was a pain in his ass.

Sunday morning arrived and Eddie pounded on the Hargrove's door. He came face to face with Billy. The annoyed look made Eddie think twice.

"You have any idea what time it is Munson?" Billy growled, his strong arms crossed and Eddie tried not to back down.

"Do you have any idea what time your daughter's parties go until? It's been a month since of her waking me up at two am because she refuses to turn down the music. I've called, I've crashed the party, and she has no respect!" Eddie ranted.

"Are you at my door and excusing my daughter of throwing wild parties when I'm not home?" Billy glared, unaware Y/N was coming down the stairs. Her eyes caught Eddie, and she smirked. She yanked down her little tank top, allowing her breasts to pop through.

Eddie bit his lip as he tried to hold in his annoyance. She always played mind games.

"Why would I lie?" Eddie fought back, his attention back on Billy.

"My daughter is a good girl, and she has respect. Get off my porch." Eddie sighed as the door slammed in his face, but still caught the wink Y/N sent.

It was Friday night once again, and Eddie pulled into his driveway. He was tired from work and needed uninterrupted sleep. He walked towards the Hargrove's house and pounded on the door.

"Mr. Munson, how can I help you?" Y/N flirted, her body leaning towards him as she smirked. She would never deny it, if anyone asked her she'd admit how hot she thought Eddie was. And the countess times she thought about him late at night. Eddie marched in the house and Y/N closed the door behind them.

"Oh stop the act," Eddie sneered, "tonight I want silence. No party, no friends, nothing. I want to sleep through the night without your games. I am done with the disrespect."

Y/N couldn't help but clench her thighs as Eddie scolded her. The older man always had her attention and she loved pestering him. She loved that heat and anger in his eyes.

"Oh? And I'm supposed to just obey? It's not like you're my daddy." She pouted, batting her eyelashes. Eddie hated to admit the nickname made him shiver.

"You drive me insane." Eddie groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face. Not noticing Y/N inched closer.

"Maybe I want to drive you insane," She whispered, he jumped when he felt her cold hands slide down his chest. He dropped his hands, moving to move her hands but caught himself not wanting to.

She turned her head to the side and looped her fingers through his belt loops.

"Why?" he whispered back, licking his lips as he looked down at hers.

"Because I want you to fuck me, Munson. Use that aged brain of yours."

She gasped when Eddie dug in hand in her hair, a soft yet harsh tug. "Watch your mouth, young lady." He threatened.

"Yes, sir." She moaned, she swore her mouth was watering at how close his mouth was to hers.

"Why didn't you use your big girl words to ask me? Why pester me and drive me insane?" He asked, his other hand lifted up her chin. He smirked at how easily she turned into a puddle in his hands.

"More fun this way." She tried to laugh but his lips were on hers before she could think. She moaned into his mouth and hungrily gripped at his body. He felt so hard yet soft underneath his dirty white tank top.

"Fun indeed," he teased against her lips as he pulled away.

"What if I fuck you every weekend and you don't throw parties?" He asked, his hand slipping into her pants, he pushed her underwear aside and began to finger her tight cunt.

She panted as she tried to think of words. Sounded like the perfect deal in her head. His fingers felt like a blessing inside of her, and his tongue in her mouth set her on fire.

"Deal" she moaned as she began to ride his fingers.

"Daddy's good girl my ass." Eddie snickered.

Eddie didn't dread the weekends anymore....

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson request #eddie munson smut #eddie munson smut x female reader #older eddie munson x reader #older eddie munson #older eddie munson x female reader #older eddie munson smut x reader #older eddie munson x hargrove! reader

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officialaemondtargaryen · 11 months

Text

A Fine Line [part 1]

Summary: You've been with Aegon for a little over four years and the relationship just isn't the same. His brother isn't helping the situation, either. This is a Modern Day AU!

Pairing: Aegon x Reader / Aemond x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Author’s Note: Guys, I think it goes without saying that you should never cheat on anyone. Just don’t do it. This is a complete re-write of an old Marvel idea that I had. It is also my very first HOTD fic, so I am open to any feedback that you may have. This man just has a motherfuckin' hold on me, like I don't even know what happened. Nevertheless, I hope that you enjoy this! Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

Warnings for the entire series: severe angst, cheating, unprotected sex, jealousy, lying, possessiveness, stalking, manipulation, and language.

Masterlist & Playlist

You felt the bed shift.

The sun hadn’t yet made a break in the early morning sky, and the room was still dark; only dimly lit by the bathroom light that had just been turned on. You could hear the faucet running and the faint sound of teeth being brushed as you reached over and checked the time. The intense light of the screen made your vision blur and eyes squint, but after a few blinks, you could make out those three numbers; 5:06 AM.

A shadow moved along the hallway walls, and you quickly placed your phone back on the bedside table and turned on your side. With your eyes clamped shut, you listened as he moved around the room, mentally picturing every action; opening the closet door, pulling a shirt from the hanger, crossing the room to the dresser, finding a pair of socks and boxers in the drawer. It was the same every morning, every day, at the same time.

Aegon wasn’t Aegon without his daily routine; wake up, brush teeth, shower, breakfast, work, lunch, work, home, dinner, bed. You used to enjoy it, the structure that you had both brought to each other's lives. It was a complete change from when you had first met him. He used to be completely haphazard; snoozing through every alarm and perpetually late, but he had come into his own after he had met you.

You used to wake up with him and get an early start on your day; making breakfast together, sitting at the table together, reading your emails while he scrolled through the news. You'd make plans for dinner and talk about your friends, and your jobs, and you'd laugh and joke. And it used to be nice. But now you just pretended to be asleep, waiting until he left before getting out of bed.

You wondered if it was wrong to do that, because, to you, it certainly felt like it was. Aegon brought it up, too, a couple of times; always wanting to know if something was wrong, or if you were okay. Truth be told, you weren't even sure of the reason for the change, so you just told him that you were tired and that work was stressful.

Often, you wondered if maybe you should start again.

Start trying...

Maybe it’d make things better.

Or as your best friend, coworker, and self-proclaimed love guru, Baela, liked to say, there was no getting better. According to the white-haired cynic, the vast majority of relationships are doomed from the start, and that you should take your unhappiness as a sign that things just weren’t meant to work out with Aegon.

Some mornings, you’d look in the mirror- bare feet cold on the tile floor, hands gripping the sides of the porcelain sink- and asked yourself if Bae was right; if all of this was a sign that you just weren’t meant to be. You’d ask yourself if you really loved Aegon, and if it’d be better to break things off than to dig yourself in deeper. You knew that the answer was probably ‘yes’, because if the answer was ‘no’, you wouldn’t even be asking those questions in the first place.

But then you’d remember what it was like to be together when the two of you first started dating, and couldn’t help but hope that one day it’d go back to that. Fooling yourself into believing that this was just something that all couples went through, and allowing yourself to continue on with your boring, auto-pilot type life.

The subway platform was cold and damp as you waited in the crowd of a hundred people. Melting snow from the streets above had water dripping down the walls, and it smelled of musty leather and dirty shoes. Your scarf and jacket weren’t doing much to keep you warm, and you cursed yourself for not grabbing your gloves before you left the house. Although, you probably wouldn’t have kept them on very long because you couldn’t use your phone while wearing them.

It was the first week of January. Christmas and New Years had come and gone and people were making their way back to work after a long weekend. In the office, there was a giant board in the break room for people to write down their resolutions; serving as a reminder to keep people on track for the first few months. Most of them were ‘eat healthy’ and ‘exercise more’, and most people would fall off the wagon before February.

Baela was already at her desk when you got to your tiny, cluttered, shared cubicle. A red coffee cup in one hand and cellphone in the other; her hair was pinned up to perfection and shined underneath the fluorescent lights; swaying softly as she turned around in her desk chair.

“Good morning!” She said with a smile. “Coffee’s on your desk.”

“Thank you,” you replied. “I didn’t have time to stop this morning.” You shrugged out of your jacket and hung it over the back of the chair before grabbing the small, cardboard cup and bringing it to your lips; eyes fluttering shut at the taste and warmth of the beverage. “You’re too good to me, B.”

“I know,” she replied with a kind smile. “How was your weekend? Did you and Aegon do anything exciting?”

“We stayed home, had a couple glasses of champagne and watched the ball drop.” You replied with your back turned to your coworker, fingers dancing over the keyboard as you logged into your computer. “I broke out that pretty, purple lace lingerie set,” Baela made a sound to let you know that she was still listening. “He said that he really liked it, but he didn’t want to do anything because he was too tired, and had to go into work early.”

You could hear her clicking her tongue against her teeth.

“It’s like, we have these really good moments together,” you continued. “And most of the time, things are pretty good, but they just aren’t the same. There’s no passion, or spontaneity, it’s like we don’t have fun anymore.”

“Yeah, but you guys have been together for a few years,” Baela replied, turning slightly in her chair to look at you. “Relationships usually change after awhile, that’s normal.”

“Bae, the last time we really had fun was Tyland’s birthday.”

"Our boss Tyland?" She gulped. You nodded and her eyes widened in disbelief. "But that was last May!"

“That’s exactly my point.”

“Speaking of birthdays,” Baela began, finally changing the subject. “I was planning to celebrate Jace's is on Saturday, and I was thinking we could take him out for a few drinks, let him beat us both at bowling, I might even make a cake.”

“I can do Saturday,” you replied as you marked the date on your desk calendar.

“Great!” Baela exclaimed. “He’ll really like that, I think.”

As if on queue, Jace popped his head over the wall of your cubicle, eyebrows raised. “Hey ladies,” he said smoothly with a slight smile. “How are you both on this Monday morning?”

“Great!" Baela answered first with a wide, sparkling smile.

“I wouldn’t have used that much enthusiasm, but sure, it’s great.” You mumbled in return, not taking your gaze off of your calendar after having noticed that it was almost four years to the day that you met Aegon. Little, red hearts outlined the box that marked the day.

You remembered that day so vividly, as if it was just yesterday; stumbling out of the snow and into an inviting coffeeshop on the corner of 39th & 7th. Your boss had asked you, of all people, to interview the son of the President & CEO of the most well-known oil company in the world regarding the mass job cuts that continued after the COVID-19 pandemic. He was late to the interview by twenty-three minutes and you found it out-of-place that he wasn't wearing a suit. His hair was unkempt and his blazer was not doing a very good job of hiding a toothpaste stain on his button-up.

"Thank you for waiting, the train ran late." He greeted as he shook the snow from his hair and extended his hand to you. The closer he became, the more apparent it was that he was either high or hungover. "Aegon."

"Y/N," you replied and gestured towards the table. "Your assistant said that you liked one cream and two sugars?"

What was supposed to be a 30-45 minute interview turned into an hour and a half long conversation. Aegon had an answer for every one of your pointed questions, and gave great responses about the future of the company with his father's dwindling health and the succession of his business- which was what everyone really cared about, really. But you found yourself nearly hanging on every word, even if you truly thought most of it was bullshit. There was something you found incredibly attractive about his sarcastic smile and the way that he quipped back at you when you'd try to back him into a corner.

When it came to the article, you didn't hold back- you couldn't; blasting Aegon for his unprofessionalism and the excuses that he made for his father and grandfather regarding the layoffs. After the paper was printed and distributed, you received a bouquet for roses to your desk with a card that read, "Thank you for your honesty and the conversation. Let me take you out on a real coffee date some time? 212-555-8598"

You remember the look on Baela's face as she stood over your shoulder reading the tiny, rectangular card along with you. Her elbow digging into your side as she wagged her eyebrows, teasing you as if you were children. But nevertheless, you did text him, and you did let him take you out on that date, and you had been together ever since.

“Hello?” Jace’s voice pierced through your thoughts. “Earth to Y/N! You coming to the meeting or are you just going to sit at your desk and daydream all day?”

You looked up to see Baela and Jace both standing, waiting for you. There was a mandatory team meeting in five minutes.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” You said quickly, grabbing your coffee and following your coworkers towards the conference room.

“What’s got your head in the clouds?” Bae asked under her breath as you walked side-by-side.

“Just thinking about when Aegon and I first met," you replied.

She just shook her head at you and took her seat at the table, pulling a pen from behind her ear, and waited for the meeting to start. Her face was determined and focused, ready to spill all of her new ideas for this week’s paper, and knowing Baela, she had a million and one.

After the meeting, you both went straight back to work, only letting up off of your keyboard for your lunch hour. Your cubicle mate was strictly relationship advice, and had an entire bin in the mail room dedicated to letters from her fans; who were mostly women in their late 30′s to mid 40′s, wondering what to do about their lazy husband who failed to notice that they got their hair cut.

You had your own column that was rightfully called ‘Popular Now’, where you wrote about everything that was popular that week; including television shows, music, people, movies, and restaurants. Sometimes you got to go to fancy restaurants and club openings, movie premiers, and concerts. Despite your life long dream to be a front-page, investigative crime journalist, you enjoyed your job and the perks it offered.

“You want to go grab a drink?” Baela asked, turning off her computer. She had a stack of fan mail in her hand. “We can read about all the horrible break ups that happened this past week.”

“As fun as that sounds,” you began. “I have to go to the grocery store before I head home. I’m making Linguine tonight. Aegon's favorite.” You said as you shut off your desk lamp and began stuffing some papers into you bag.

“Suit yourself,” she replied with a shrug. “I’ll ask Jace.”

“You two have fun, then!”

The streets were overcrowded with overworked city-dwellers who were desperate to get home. The wind had picked up significantly since that morning, numbing your face as you walked through the crowd of double-breasted, suit wearing men and women who were yakking on their phones about what was for dinner. Your tights did nothing to keep your knees from shaking, and you started to regret your decision to walk instead of call a cab. It would have only taken longer for the latter in the stop-and-go traffic of rush hour.

You tried to call Aegon once you got into the store to make sure that there wasn’t anything else he needed added to the list, but he didn’t answer. He barely ever did. He was almost always on his phone, taking business calls and messages for his father, but could never answer the phone for you. At this point you didn’t even bother leaving a message, knowing that he wouldn’t take the time to return it.

After you had made your way through the aisles with your basket in hand, you walked towards the checkout lanes, only to find two long lines that were moving much, too slow. Your foot tapped impatiently against the floor as you waited. You turned your head slightly, watching as more and more patrons continued to line up with their carts. You noticed the gentleman standing behind you with only one item. He looked oddly familiar, but you shrugged him off as just being another hipster guy with long hair.

"Would you like to go in front of me?" You asked him politely.

The corners of his lips turned into a small smile as he eyed your basket. "I appreciate the gesture," his voice was smooth. "Are you sure you don't mind?" You shook your head and stepped to the side for him to move in front of you. "Thank you."

"Of course," you responded.

The line was still moving painfully slow; coming to a halt as the cashier called for a manager on the overhead speaker over the price of a shampoo bottle. Your eyes perused the magazines on the shelf to your left, glossing over the headlines and laughing to yourself at the more ridiculous ones. As you continued to wait, you couldn't help but steal another glance at the man now standing in front of you. Your eyes must have lingered a little longer than they should've, tracing across his sharp features, because you were brought back to reality when you heard him clear his throat- his steely gaze returning yours.

"I'm sorry," you confessed to him as your cheeks grew warm. "You just look so incredibly familiar and I can't put my finger on it- have we met?"

"You're implying that I'm forgettable," he responded with a smirk. "I don't think we have, I would certainly remember if we had as there is nothing forgettable about you." Your blush only intensified as he held his hand out and took your hand into his. "I'm Aemond."

"Y/N," you replied, fingers curing around his. "Wait, Aemond?" It finally clicked. This was Aegon's brother that you had never met due to the fact that he was always traveling for business. You had only seen his picture on your refrigerator a million times. Only, in the picture he was about twenty years younger, his cheeks were more plump, and he had both eyes. "You're Aegon's brother, there's a picture of the two of you as kids on our fridge."

"You must be his lady, then." He replied and you thought you could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice. You hadn't even realized that he was still holding on to your hand until he dropped it. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," you smiled as he placed his item onto the conveyor belt as the line began to move again. "Aegon says that you are always traveling for work? How long are you in town for?"

“I actually got promoted,” he replied and you placed the plastic divider on the belt, signaling to the cashier where his order stopped and yours began. "I’m home for good now.”

“Oh that’s great!” You exclaimed. “You should come by some time. I’m sure Aegon would love to see you.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he handed his card to the cashier. “I will.” He took his bag from the end of the counter and looked back at you one last time before taking his receipt from the cashier. “I’ll see you around, then.”

You nodded as the cashier asked if you had your discount card.

Aegon wasn’t home when you got there, and you reveled in coming home to an empty apartment. It was so quiet; no loud television or hour long conversations with his financial advisers about the business. Just the sounds of boiling water and the sizzling of shrimp in the frying pan.

It was peaceful.

You stood in front of the refrigerator staring at the small photo of Aegon and his brother held to the stainless steel with a smiley face magnet. Aemond's freckles and messy hair, Aegon's toothy grin and mischievous eyes as they pulled funny faces for the camera. Aegon didn't talk about his brother much, but you knew that he missed him.

“Yeah man! It’ll be great to have you around again.” You heard the front door open shortly after you drained the noodles, signaling that Aegon was home. The door slammed behind him, followed by the thud of his briefcase on the living room floor. “You should definitely come by soon,” he said loudly into his phone. Moments later, he joined you in the kitchen and placed a kiss on the side of your cheek without saying a word and then headed up the stairs to change into something more comfortable. “I can’t wait for you to meet, Y/N. You’re going to love her, brother.”

You smiled to yourself as you pushed the shrimp around in the pan one last time before shutting off the heat. Everything looked and smelled amazing, and you couldn’t wait for Aegon to try it. You had the table completely set up; white wine, the nice plates that were only for when there was company, and the candles were burning.

“Hey babe,” he said as he stepped back into the kitchen. “That was Aemond. He’s back in town for good now, he’s going to come for dinner Friday night.”

“That’s great!” You replied, and Aegon picked a plate off of the table.

“He’s excited to finally meet you.” He was grinning from ear to ear. “I was thinking maybe you could invite Baela?” he followed up as he sat the plate on the counter next to you and moved to grab a bottle of beer from the fridge. “So that you have someone to talk to if we get caught up in catching up."

“Y-yeah,” you replied with your back to him, wondering why Aemond didn’t mention your run-in at the grocery store. “That sounds like a great idea.” You placed the pot on the kitchen table with an oven mitt underneath and took to your usual seat.

Aegon, still standing, hurriedly fixed himself a plate and popped a shrimp in his mouth. “Mm, this is delicious. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to eat in the office. I have a lot of work to catch up on.” He told you quickly and dashed up the stairs.

Before you could say anything, he was already gone.

You took a sip from your wine glass and sighed, staring at the dinner you had prepared. Despite how hungry you might have been before you cooked dinner, your appetite seemed to have completely vanished. You didn’t even bother to fix yourself a plate, just finished your wine instead before standing up and putting the leftovers away.

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delacyrose224 · 2 months

Text

Part of Your World

Pairing: merman!Changbin x reader

Genre: Fluff, small amounts of angst

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: Mildly suggestive, brief mentions of blood/pain

Author's Note: Song of the day is Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid! Here it is @bluejutdae, the merman Binnie fic that no one asked for...but in all seriousness, this was so fun to write and I have a soft spot in my heart for this Binnie.

------------------------------------------

The waves lap against the shoreline, the dull roar of the ocean echoing off the rocks. You breathe deeply and let out a giant sigh. This. This was what you needed…time alone, time off, time out. A break to reset your mind, rethink your goals, and time to figure out where to go next.

Stress had been eating away at you for entirely too long. You weren’t quite happy with your job, but you didn’t know what you wanted to do instead. You had made friends but not any that felt truly significant in your life. Your parents had graciously lent you their beach house, the one you had spent every summer growing up going to. Even in the two days since you had arrived, you had already felt more clear headed. Each day was the same-wake up without an alarm, make a cup of coffee, read on the porch, walk along the beach, make lunch, read some more (on the beach) and then relax on the couch until dinnertime.

You had arrived at the ‘read on the beach’ portion of your day yet again, which maybe was your favorite. You had picked a lighthearted romance to accompany you today, which felt only appropriate for your surroundings. The beach was quiet this afternoon…probably because you had come in the off season, the weather not quite warm enough for bathing suits yet. Nevertheless, you were excited to start your new book and enjoy the sounds of the ocean in the background. After a few chapters, you find yourself nodding off in your chair due to just how relaxed you are.

You wake to the sound of the surf crashing against an outcropping of rocks not too far away from you. The book you’re reading falls to the sand as you stand up, squinting down at your watch to see what time it is. 7:43 already?! Sure enough, on the horizon you can see the sun starting to dip beyond where the skyline meets the water. As you’re looking out, you suddenly see a flash of something that almost looks metallic glinting in the waning sunlight, just beyond the outcropping of rocks. You move forward until you’re on the edge of the shoreline. Maybe you made it up…what would be reflecting sunlight like that at this time of day? Right before you give up and head back to your house, you see it again. Something reflecting the sun, brighter than the top of the water.

This time, you start to walk out towards the object. Maybe someone lost something valuable and you could retrieve it and help them out. Before long, you’re up to your waist in the water, your shorts waterlogged. Undeterred, you go further, and before long, you’re treading water near the outcropping of rocks, looking for whatever this mysterious object is…but you see nothing. You swim around to the other side of the rocks…still nothing. By this time, the sun has crept most of the way beyond the horizon and you’re starting to shiver. You had worn a sweatshirt to keep warm from the occasional breeze, and it’s become heavy with water and is starting to irritate your skin. As you turn to swim back towards the shore, your body suddenly is lifted up by a wave and on the way down, you scrape your arm against the rocks. You gasp in pain, pulling it towards you to see how badly you’re hurt. What you don’t see is another wave coming your way. It pulls you up again and crashes down, pushing you under the water. You fight to make your way back to the surface, but the force of the wave leaves it unclear which way is up. You twist your body around, finally gaining traction, when there it is again…a metallic glint of something, this time under the water. And…it almost looks…pink? That’s the last thought you have as the current slams your body into the rocks and you float into unconsciousness.

—-------------------------------------

You wake with a start, coughing violently and spitting out what feels like liters of water. Your lungs and throat burn from all the salt and it’s difficult to catch your breath for a minute or two. You eventually sit up and notice it’s now completely dark outside. How long have you been unconscious? As you sit trying to gather yourself, you hear what sounds like faint humming coming from the water…more specifically, from the outcropping of rocks. You get to your feet unsteadily, warily walking towards the water, but not close enough to touch the water. It’s definitely humming…and it sounds like a man’s voice? You can’t make out the words, if there even are any…and just as your feet are starting to touch the edge of the ocean, you hear a large splash directly behind where you know the rocks end. It’s too dark to see anything, but you take that as your cue to gather your items, go back to your house, and go to bed.

You sleep later than you have in a while after your scare, and you spend the next few days avoiding the beach. You have no idea what you heard (surely there was not a person humming in the middle of the night?), and the giant splash also remains a mystery. Maybe it’s better to just forget about what happened. Maybe you should just move on…so you decide to finally brave the beach again, this time staying away from the water and sticking to your beach chair to read.

The afternoon goes by uneventfully, and you’re about halfway through your book when you get a couple of notifications on your phone. You pull the device from your bag and see a text from your friend Caroline asking how your mini-vacation is going. You smile to yourself as you pull up the other notification, and your smile immediately drops as you see a weather alert for an incoming storm that is supposed to have high speed winds and the potential to develop into a tornado.

You start to put everything back into your bag to leave when you notice another figure further down the beach. As the figure draws closer, you see it’s a man that seems to be around your age, maybe a little younger. He’s dressed in oversized clothes, a holey white shirt almost reaching the knees of his equally holey black pants. He looks lost in the clothes more than seeming it’s a look he’s trying to achieve, and as he comes closer, you see that his face also looks lost. You debate asking if he needs any help, but before you decide one way or another, he notices you and heads your way.

You smile tentatively as he draws closer. “Are you okay?” you ask.

“...me?”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else wandering down the beach. You know it’s about to storm, right?”

“I didn’t know, exactly…but I kinda figured. The clouds don’t look too happy,” he replies, brushing his damp bangs out of his eyes.

“Are you lost or something?” The man’s eyebrows raise to meet his hair, eyes going wide.

“Kind of…it’s a long story. One that you probably wouldn’t believe most of anyway,” he says, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

You cross your arms over your chest, unimpressed. “Try me.” He grins in return, the smile lighting up his whole face.

“I would, but I’m a little more worried about where I’m going to wait out this storm.” The man grimaces as the sky, as if on cue, starts to drop large raindrops onto the sand.

You could invite this stranger into your home to wait out the storm…but he’s a stranger. But it would be cruel to leave him in a storm, right? Before you have time to think any more, the raindrops become more steady, leaving cold rivulets down both of your arms.

“What’s your name?” you ask.

“Changbin. Yours?”

You tell Changbin your name in return, and just as you begin to ask if he wants to wait out the storm with you, the rain turns into a full=--out downpour.

“Follow me!” you yell over the storm, quickly grabbing your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and breaking into a jog towards your house.

Changbin struggles behind you. Not only is his clothing slowing him down with how baggy it is, but he’s running as if…as if he’s never run a day in his life, you notice. It’s baffling to you, but without thinking, you reach back for his hand to make sure he’s able to keep up with you and knows where to go.

The two of you arrive soaked on your porch, dripping everywhere. You dig around in a storage box for towels and you hand him one. Changbin watches you as you place the towel around your shoulders and quietly copies you as you wring out your shirt and try to dry your hair. This baffles you as well…how does an adult man not know how to run properly, and then needs prompting to dry off with a towel? Nevertheless, you unlock the front door and go inside, with him following closely behind you.

“You’re not like a serial killer or something, right?” you suddenly blurt, turning to face Changbin. He lets out a giggle and shakes his head at you.

“I have never killed anything or anyone in my life, and I wasn’t planning on starting anytime soon.” You let out a relieved laugh, though you aren’t completely sure about him yet.

You show him to the guest room and tell him you’re going to change clothes and that he can do the same, just borrowing some of your brother’s old clothes.

You both emerge a few minutes later, you in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, Changbin in gym shorts and a black tee that almost looks too tight as it hugs his very defined chest. Not that you noticed or anything. Ahem.

He follows you this time to the living room and you motion for him to sit on the couch as you go into the kitchen and make the two of you a cup of tea. Just as you hand him a mug and sit down beside him, there’s a bright flash of lightning and following that, the power promptly goes out.

Without warning, Changbin grasps at your hand, nervously gripping it. Your other hand reaches for his wrist and pats gently, reassuring him.

“Changbin, it’s fine, it’s just the power. I have some candles somewhere around here…let me find them.”

He says nothing in reply, but his grip doesn’t ease.

“...that requires you to let go of my hand,” you say gently. Changbin clears his throat and lets out a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay…I’ll be right back.”

You get up and feel around for your side table that has a drawer, knowing there are candles inside. After bumping your hip into both an armchair and another table, Changbin loudly protesting that you should just come back and sit down to stop from hurting yourself, you finally find the correct table and gather a few candles along with a lighter. You place them around the room, putting the last one on the table in front of the couch. As the light illuminates his face, you notice Changbin looking amazed. He slides from the couch onto his knees, face even with the candle.

“What, have you never seen a candle before?” you laugh, but he shakes his head slowly, eyes still trained on the flame in front of him. He suddenly seems to realize what he’s admitted, looking up and locking eyes with you.

“Who are you? What’s your story I won’t believe?” you muse aloud, half to yourself.

Changbin stands and situates himself back onto the couch and pats the seat beside him.

“I think you’re going to want to sit for this…”

—--------------------------------------

“So you’re telling me…you’re a merman?!” you whisper-yell, though no one is around to hear you except Changbin. He nods.

“And you’re a human because…?”

“Because my brother found a spellbook, and he wanted to help ‘cause he knew that I’d always been fascinated by the human world, so he cast a spell and now I’m human. That’s why I was wearing those clothes when you found me.”

You sit, mouth slightly ajar from all the information you’re trying to process at once.

“What are the parameters of the spell then? Aren’t you supposed to give up your voice or something?” Changbin cocks his head at you, looking like a confused dog.

“Why would I have to give up my voice, how would that be helpful?” You wave off his question impatiently, motioning for him to continue explaining.

“The problem is, I don’t know what the parameters are…and neither did Hyunjin when he did the spell. He’s not exactly a sea witch or anything. So I guess I’m just making the best of it while I can…I want to experience everything that I can!” He gets louder as he gets more excited until it looks like he’s about to bounce out of his seat. It makes you smile.

“Well…for starters, you can stay here in my brother’s room. Unless you figured out something else?” Changbin gives a small shake of his head. “I don’t know how good of a tour guide to humanity I’ll be, but I can try.” His smile makes his eyes crinkle.

“I’ll repay you by teaching you how to swim properly,” he chuckles.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, um…well…I kind of saw you the other day. You almost died!” he exclaims, hands gesticulating wildly. “You need to be a strong enough swimmer to save your own life.”

“You mean the day I passed out and washed up on shore? Wait a minute…was that you?!” Changbin nods sheepishly. “I went out in the water because I saw you! Your tail! It was reflecting the sunset so beautifully…” A blotchy flush starts to work its way up his neck towards his face.

“But you almost died! Forget my tail…”

“Did the current wash me back up onto shore? I don’t remember anything until I woke up on the beach,” you muse, trying to recall what might have happened.

Changbin shakes his head again. “I…I grabbed you once you fell unconscious and pulled you back onto land,” he says quietly. “I couldn’t watch you die, no matter what any of my brothers say about the human world.”

Before you’re fully aware of what your own body is doing, you find yourself on the couch beside him enveloping him in a hug. His arms find their way around you, mirroring your actions.

“Thank you,” you whisper, tears collecting on your lash line. He pulls you in even closer somehow, his warmth burning through your clothes.

“Hey, hey…no crying! You’re here, right? I told you, I wasn’t going to let someone die on my watch. Especially not a girl as pretty as you,” he laughs. You look up at him, and you can feel heat emanating from your face that has nothing to do with the hug. “But like I said…I’m teaching you how to swim properly so I don’t have to worry about you when I’m not around.” You give a small nod, wiping the remnants of your tears away.

—--------------------------------

And so the days pass, Changbin staying with you and learning bit by bit about the human world. You take him grocery shopping, introduce him to ice cream, and show him everything you find comforting about the small town you used to vacation in. You point out the community theater you used to perform summer musicals in, go to the local coffee shop to get your favorite vanilla latte (Changbin finds that he is partial to their hazelnut latte), and take walks along the shoreline at sunset. It’s on one of these walks that you find yourself asking him more about his brothers.

“Chan is the oldest, and he acts like it…super mature, super dependable. Minho’s a little older than me, but he’s kinda off in his own world. Loves animals. Then Hyunjin is next after me, he’s the one who turned me human. Jisung is the next youngest, he’s always hanging out with Minho. He’s very talented at music. Felix is the literal embodiment of sunshine and bubbles, you’d love him, everyone does. Seungmin is a menace, but very funny. And Jeongin’s the baby, but we all know he’s the one who’s really in charge.” You laugh at this, enjoying watching him explain his family dynamics. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What’s your family like?” Changbin is so earnest, it takes you aback.

“I mean, nothing that exciting. I’m decently close with my parents, and I have a younger sister. We don’t talk all the time, but we don’t not get along. There’s not much to say.”

“So why are you here then? At your summer house…alone?” You stop walking and he does the same, still looking at you.

“Work’s been…hard. Not even the job itself, but I just moved again and I’m still getting used to everything. I needed a break, so I came here. Where everything is familiar. Well, it was until you came along.” You nudge his shoulder playfully, but he looks thoughtful.

“Did I ruin your break?” he asks.

“What? No, no, of course not!” You shake your head vehemently.

“You can tell me if I did…I am staying in your house and taking up an awful lot of your time.”

You shake your head again. “No, really, it’s fine…honestly, you’ve made it better. If I had been alone the whole time, I would have gotten way too into my head and it would have been a mess. I’ve enjoyed showing you what it’s like to be a human…well, at least what it’s like to live my life.”

“I love it! Your life is so…cozy? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but it feels so comfortable being with you.” He’s not sure what comes over him, but Changbin reaches out and grabs your hand, motioning you to continue your walk. You start walking again as the sun dips behind the horizon, but his hand remains with yours.

“You know, I don’t normally let strange men into my house.” He laughs. “But I’m glad I invited you in during that storm…I’ve felt comfortable too.” You squeeze his hand, and he returns the gesture.

The moon is almost full, illuminating the beach as you walk. In the distance, Changbin notices a building looming large. “What’s that?” he asks, gesturing with your intertwined hands. You follow the gesture with your eyes, realizing what it is even in the dark.

“Oh, that’s the sea turtle center! They do a lot of work during the summer, the turtles come and lay their eggs a little further down the beach. They’re actually throwing their annual charity ball in a week or so to raise funds for their summer season.”

Changbin’s eyes go wide with excitement, almost sparkling in the moonlight.

“What?” you laugh. He reaches and grabs your other hand, turning you to face him fully.

“Can we go? Are we allowed to?” You can’t think of a reason why not, so you nod. His excitement is palpable as a smile takes over his face and he shakes your hands back and forth.

“I’m so excited for you to teach me how to dance!”

—----------------------------------------------

And that’s how you find yourself in your dining room a week later, table and chairs pushed to the side to make a temporary dance floor. Changbin has one hand around your waist, the other grasped in yours. You’d been teaching him how to ballroom dance for the past hour, starting with a simple box step and working your way up to a waltz.

“The timing of this feels so weird,” he laughs as the two of you step together. You giggle as you fall off balance and out of step with the 1-2-3 timing.

“It does at first, but when you get it right, it feels like you’re floating across the floor,” you sigh dreamily. “The closest we’ll get to flying.”

A soft smile works its way onto Changbin’s face, and he repositions himself to start the dance again, pulling you even closer to him than before.

“Let’s try again,” he says.

“Are you sure? We’ve been at this for an hour, we can take a break.”

He squeezes your hip gently in response. “I’m sure…I want to fly with you.”

Your head falls to his shoulder at this remark, hiding your face from him. “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” His voice rumbles through his chest, the vibrations making their way to where your forehead meets his shirt. You shake your head, still hiding your face. “Look at me…please?” he pleads, voice laden with the beginnings of worry.

You lift your head slowly, your eyes finally meeting his gaze.

“You’re okay?” You nod. “Why did you react that way?” You swallow nervously, picking at your fingernails. You can practically feel your face getting blotchy with embarrassment.

“What you said…that’s why I reacted that way.” Changbin raises an eyebrow, still not quite comprehending. “It’s…it’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me. And I’ve only just met you.” Your breath hitches at the realization, and you’re shocked by the sudden tears swimming in your eyes.

“Hey, hey…there’s no need to cry, pretty,” he places his hands gently on the sides of your face, rubbing his thumb where an errant tear had escaped your lash line. His kindness causes more tears to make their way down your cheeks and he simply stands there in the silence with you, wiping them away as they come. After a few minutes, he tentatively reaches for your hand and brings you over to the couch, where he lays a blanket over you once you’ve sat down.

You start to protest, but he quiets you by telling you he’ll be right back. He pads off to the kitchen and returns ten minutes later with a mug of hot chocolate that he extends to you. “Be careful, it’s hot,” he warns, gently placing it into your open hands.

You look at the swirling mini marshmallows that are floating on the steaming chocolate and turn to Changbin who has sat down next to you. At the questioning look on your face, he turns playfully indignant. “Hey! I made not have ever made hot chocolate before, but I can read instructions!” You laugh, and he moves his arm around your shoulder drawing him into his warmth. “Is this okay?” He looks nervous as he searches your face for any sign of impending tears. You nod, adjusting to become more comfortable to show him that you’re fine.

Changbin draws the blanket around the both of you and turns the tv on to start a movie. You can’t help but laugh as you see that he’s chosen The Little Mermaid. Your laughter doubles as you watch the faces of disbelief that he makes throughout the movie, with loud exclamations about how life underwater is nothing like what is being portrayed.

“It’s a movie, Binnie,” you insist, still giggling.

“Huh?” He looks over at you, eyes wide.

“It’s a movie, I said.”

“No, I know that…what did you call me?”

You sit up cautiously. “...Binnie? Is that okay?” It’s your turn to be nervous. You’d never called him that, but it had just slipped out.

“I love it,” he smiles, the fullness of it crinkling his eyes into half moons. You breathe a sigh of relief, sinking back into the warmth of his hold.

Between the hot chocolate, blanket, and Changbin’s body heat, you find yourself nodding off towards the end of the movie. Changbin notices and starts drawing shapes on your arm with his thumb, hoping to further soothe you into slumber…and it works.

He smiles down at you folded into the crook of his arm, deep breaths reassuring him that you were getting the rest you needed. He cautiously leans down, careful not to disturb you, and places a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You smell like coconut and the ocean, which makes him smile.

“You deserve to be told romantic things every day,” he murmurs into the crown of your head. “Every single day.”

—--------------------------------------------

You wake to the sunrise, still on the couch, vaguely remembering that you must have fallen asleep during the movie you were watching the night before. You stretch your legs out from where they were curled into your side and realize that you are still snuggled into Changbin’s side, except his head is now on top of yours from whenever he eventually fell asleep as well. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you slowly attempt to disentangle yourself from the man next to you. Just as you think you’re going to make your escape, he lets out a muffled whine and tightens his grip around you, forcing the side of your face into his chest. You laugh, reaching your hand to slowly draw shapes on his side.

“Binnie…” you murmur softly, tracing your fingers up and down his torso. Nothing. “Binnie…” you try again, this time a little louder. As your hand hits his waist again, he twitches and his eyes snap open.

“Stop, that tickles!” he whines, burying his face into your hair.

“Good morning to you too, sleepyhead,” you laugh, but stop the movements of your hand.

“That’s rich coming from you, the one who fell asleep right before the end of the movie.” Changbin gently disentangles himself from you, and you can see him playfully roll his eyes as he stretches his arms above his head, a sliver of his stomach showing beneath his black shirt. Not that you noticed or anything.

“What time is it, anyway?” he asks. You squint over at the clock across the room.

“7:05.” He groans.

“It’s too early…why did you wake me up?” You laugh in response.

“The sun woke me up, take it up with Mother Nature.” He rolls his eyes again, but a smile plays across his features.

“Well, since we’re up, it’s a perfect time for you to learn to swim properly!” He reaches for your hand as he stands up, yanking you up with him. He’s a little forceful, making you reach out and stabilize yourself-with both your hands splayed across his chest.

“Little forward this morning, are we?” he wriggles his eyebrows suggestively, causing you to break out in a fit of giggles.

“Something like that,” you concede, reaching out to sweep an errant curl off his forehead. Changbin’s eyes soften as you do so, mapping out every detail of your expression.

“You’re really pretty. You know that, right?” He tilts his head, looking at you.

“Changbin, I literally look like I just got dragged through a bush backwards, but I appreciate you trying to be nice.”

“I’m not being nice…I’m being blunt, if anything,” he muses, still cataloging your face. Though his eyes have also started to roam the rest of your body as well.

“My hair is a rat’s nest, my makeup is smeared from falling asleep…and I think I have dried drool on the corner of my mouth?!” you realize in horror, trying to wipe your face clean.

Changbin grabs your hand and stops it mid-motion, then takes over himself. Wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb, moving to gently swipe under your eyes where your mascara has flaked. You can feel the heat emanating from your face, burning with embarrassment.

“No need to be embarrassed, pretty.” You duck your head, feeling called out. “Look at me.” You raise your head to look at Changbin again. “You are really pretty. Always. But I think this might be my favorite.” He smiles shyly at you.

“Why?” you whisper.

“Because…because you’re rested. Because you’re taking care of yourself. Because I think I might be the only person that gets to see you like this.” You nod almost imperceptibly, confirming his statement. His smile grows and he gently holds your face between his hands.

“Can I kiss you?” The tips of his ears are red as he asks the question, searching your eyes hopefully. You lean closer, your breath fanning across his full lips.

“I’d like that,” you breathe, and before you can move any further, Changbin has closed the space between you, lips slotting over yours.

You sigh into the kiss, and you can feel Changbin’s smile in return as he moves his hands from your face to your waist, squeezing and drawing you closer to himself.

What starts as very sweet and tentative quickly becomes more urgent, with your hands tangled in his curls, his moving under your shirt. A sigh escapes your lips as you feel his thumbs ghost the undersides of your breasts, and he takes the opportunity to slot his tongue into your mouth, which you welcome.

After a few moments, you both come up for air and Changbin breaks into a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing really…it’s just that I never could have predicted this would happen when I got turned into a human. I’m really gonna have to thank Hyunjin the next time I see him, huh?”

This causes you to join in his laughter, and you pull him close again to land a soft kiss on his nose.

“I guess you have to. After you introduce me, of course. Also…I believe I was promised a swimming lesson?”

“Ah yes, an excuse to see me half naked.” Changbin rolls his eyes and you swat his chest playfully. “You’ll get your swimming lesson after breakfast, can’t have you passing out on me again.” He grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers and pulling you towards the kitchen.

“One sunrise special coming up!”

—-----------------------------------------

And that’s how you end up spending most of the day in the ocean with Changbin. Your swimming skills aren’t quite as bad as he thought (you did get thrown into a rock by a wave, after all), but he’s still able to adjust your form on several different strokes. Even when you’re not doing much, it seems like he’s able to find some way to have his hand ghost along your lower back…or he finds an excuse to sweep strands of wet hair behind your ear…or he’s tightening the strings of your swimsuit ‘just in case’.

Once you notice your fingers starting to get wrinkly, the two of you collapse onto towels on the shore. You’re silent for a while, content to rest in each others’ presence. Then something you’ve been thinking about for a while escapes your lips.

“Don’t you miss your brothers?”

Changbin turns to face you, his lips forming a small pout. “Sure I do. I mean, I don’t miss Seungmin teasing me all the time or Chan’s terrible dad jokes, but generally I do miss them…yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, studying his expression as his brow furrows.

“Why are you sorry? You haven’t done anything wrong, lovely.” He reaches his hand towards you, making a grabby motion until you reach out and intertwine your fingers with his.

“I dunno…I just feel bad that I can’t do anything to fix it or help. Maybe I should’ve been helping you research how to turn back into a merman or something, instead I’ve just been taking up all your time with silly things like dancing and swimming and showing you around town,” you huff.

“I’ve loved doing those things with you. I can’t believe all the things I used to just see in books, or from far away, I’ve gotten to do. With you.” You smile at the pink tinting his cheeks. “I get to go to a ball with you in a few days…it’ll be like that story you told me about, what was it again?”

“You mean Cinderella?” you laugh, and he nods excitedly.

“You just gotta promise not to run away at midnight and turn into a pumpkin, or whatever it was.” He leans up onto his forearms, scooting himself closer to you. “Can you do that?”

“I can’t make any promises about what happens if I’m up that late past my bedtime, Binnie.” He huffs out a laugh before swooping in for a quick peck to your lips.

“Fine, fine. I can’t wait to see you in your dress…I just know you’re going to be the most beautiful person there.” Changbin’s eyes are sparkling as he looks at you, and it makes you feel gooey inside.

“We’ll see about that.”

—-------------------------------------------

“...I told you, gorgeous.” Changbin lets out a low whistle as you come out of your bedroom and into the living room where he’s waiting. He’s wearing a three piece navy suit to match your floor length sparkly navy gown.

“You look amazing too,” you reply. “So handsome.” You run your hands over his lapel and then down his arms, stopping to squeeze his biceps. “Be careful, you might rip your jacket,” you smirk.

“Hands off, ma’am…this is a classy affair.” You dissolve into a fit of giggles and Changbin tries to keep a straight face but fails miserably, his own squeaky giggles echoing your own. Once the two of you collect yourselves, he offers his arm to you and you gladly accept.

Though it’s not far, you end up driving to the conservation center to save your feet from walking any more in heels than they need to. As you enter the ballroom, you gasp. They’ve outdone themselves with the decorations-the ceiling is full of twinkling lights wrapped through gauze, there are multiple tables laden with appetizers, desserts, and drinks, and the dancefloor is massive. As you walk towards an empty table, a waiter walks by and offers the two of you champagne, which you take happily. You claim two spaces and turn to see Changbin’s eyes grow wide as he sips his drink.

“It’s so…bubbly!” He exclaims, and you laugh at his expression.

“I guess you’ve never had alcohol before, huh?” He shakes his head. “It’ll make you a little lightheaded if you don’t eat anything, let’s grab some food.”

The two of you walk over to one of the many food tables, and Changbin starts loading down his plate with at least one of everything, multiple if he thinks something looks especially good. He notices you being more careful with your choices and raises his brow in confusion.

“Why aren’t you trying anything else? It all looks so good!” He lifts his own plate toward you as evidence.

“This dress is already tight, I don’t want to be bloated and it shows…or worst case, I rip a seam or something.” Your face blanches at the thought.

Changbin immediately grabs your hand and steers you back toward your table. Once you’ve taken a seat, he starts putting items from his plate onto a fork and holds it up to you.

“Try it,” he pleads with puppy dog eyes. You begrudgingly obey and he gently places the food in your mouth. It’s some sort of quiche tartlet with ham you think…or maybe bacon. Either way, it’s delicious and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips at the taste. Changbin’s eyes light up at your delight. “See, it’s so good! I told you!”

You spend the next ten to fifteen minutes sharing Changbin’s plate with him. He takes a bite, then insists that you take the next…until you’ve had tartlets, sliders, trifles, assorted crackers with cheeses and jams, and they’re all unbelievably delicious.

“Full?” he asks, and you nod, feeling sated. “Good. You’ve got a little bit of jam…just there…” He leans in and meets your mouth with his, swiping his tongue gently over your lower lip. As he moves back, you notice his eyes have darkened. “Delicious,” he smirks as he leans into his chair. As if suddenly remembering something, he sits up closer to you and reaches over to run his hands down your sides, his mouth hovering close to your ear. “This dress shows every last curve on your body, and I love it…I’m just jealous I’m not the only one who gets to see it.”

Before you can even think to reply, he’s moved to stand by your side, holding a hand out towards you.

“May I have this dance?”

—-----------------------------------------

For having just learned to dance, Changbin is impressive. He’s able to lead you successfully through a few opening dances, and freestyles hilariously (though still on beat). The night is full of champagne bubbles, stolen kisses, and soft laughter.

You feel truly content for the first time in a long time as you slow dance, your forehead tilted and touching Changbin’s. “How are you real?” you breathe out without thinking.

“I could ask the same of you, you know.” He places a gentle kiss on your temple and sways with you on the dancefloor.

You swallow thickly as you lift your eyes to meet his. “What happens…what happens when you go back?” Changbin’s brow furrows as he considers your question.

“Maybe I don’t go back,” his answer is tentative, searching for your response. Your eyes grow wide.

“You-you want to stay human?”

Before he can answer, there’s a commotion across the room. You try to see what’s happening, even reaching up on your tiptoes, but just as a lanky figure with black hair comes into view, a silky voice travels from the stranger to the two of you, making goosebumps erupt across your skin.

“Hello, brother.”

—---------------------------------------

“Hyunjin?! What’re you-how are you-you’re here?!” Changbin splutters in disbelief. The stranger, who you now know is his brother, merely nods with a small smile on his face.

Changbin closes the space with the taller man and envelopes him in a hug that makes Hyunjin wince before he gently extracts himself. “How are you here?” Changbin repeats, still wide eyed.

“Same as you, brother. I made myself into a human…you were surprisingly hard to track down tonight.” Hyunjin walks towards the conservation center’s balcony, away from the crowd and you and Changbin follow.

“Why were you looking for me?” Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest and raises a brow at his older brother’s question.

“Did you really not think I would find you eventually? Did you plan on being a human forever?” A snide laugh escapes Hyunjin’s lips at his own question.

At this, Changbin crosses his arms over his chest matching the man before him. “And what if I did?” Your eyes grow wide at his response and you step towards him, reaching for his hand. As Changbin firmly intertwines your fingers, Hyunjin follows the motion with his eyes, a smirk taking over his features.

“Ah yes…this must be the reason you think you could stay human.” Hyunjin cocks his head to the side, appraising you. “I suppose she is rather pretty,” he admits, reaching out and tucking a loose hair behind your ear.

Changbin steps forward, angling himself between you and Hyunjin. “Don’t touch her.”

Hyunjin huffs out a laugh. “And what are you going to do to stop me? I’m the one who turned you into a human in the first place…you wouldn’t have even met her if it wasn’t for me.” His voice is dripping with derision as he looks over the two of you.

“What happened to you? The brother I know would never act like this.” Changbin sounds disappointed, and you can hear the sadness behind his words.

“The brother you know? You were always so happy to be in your own little world, daydreaming about the human world, being so close with Chan…do you even know why I agreed to help you turn into a human?” You see Changbin swallow thickly as he shakes his head. Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “Of course you don’t.”

Hyunjin gazes out at the shoreline from the edge of the balcony and lets out a giant sigh. “It’s because of the compass. It’s always been about the compass.”

“What compass?” you ask, the first words you’ve spoken since Hyunjin’s arrival. He cuts a quick glance to you and then goes back to staring at the water.

“Since Chan is the oldest, he has a compass. It’s the only thing we have related to our parents, it’s a magical relic of sorts…it can help you realize whatever your heart’s desire is. Dreams. Anyway, Chan refuses to use it, says he has his heart’s desire already, whatever that is. At some point, it would pass down to the other brothers. I knew Minho had no interest in it, he’s happy to live life the way he is. Which meant dear Changbin here was next in line.”

You look over at Changbin, and his expression is stormy. You squeeze his hand reassuringly, which seems to ground him. He steps a little closer to you and kisses your temple and runs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“How sweet.” Hyunjin’s voice is void of emotion as he watches the exchange. “As I was saying, he was in the way of me getting the compass. So I decided to offer him something he couldn’t say no to-a chance at being human. I knew he couldn’t resist, especially after he saved you…he wouldn’t shut up about it. I had picked up enough magic from studying how the compass worked to figure it out. And here we are.”

Changbin’s voice is shaky and small when he finally speaks. “So you tricked and manipulated me. Why are you here now, then? I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t gotten your hands on what you wanted.”

A small smile works its way onto Hyunjin’s face, one that looks like it actually may have some small sliver of kindness. “I did get what I wanted, actually. I convinced Chan to give it to me once he realized you were missing…I told him I would find you and bring you back. And here I am. I may have manipulated you, brother, but I would never leave you stranded. Pretty girl or not, you belong with us. As a merman.”

Hyunjin’s hands start to glow faintly, a turquoise that grows brighter as he begins to motion towards Changbin.

“Wait, we need to talk about this-Hyunjin, don’t-” Changbin protests, but Hyunjin doesn’t even seem to hear him. The glow has traveled from his hands and is making its way up his arms, and he almost seems to be in some sort of trance. Changbin notices as well, and moves towards his brother, reaching to grab his hands.

You move without thinking, stepping in front of Changbin and grasping Hyunjin’s hands. The turquoise glow slowly transfers from Hyunjin’s body to yours…but instead of traveling up your arms, it flows down towards your legs and feet. It feels like a million needles piercing through your skin and into your bones, and you let out an involuntary scream. The noise seems to break through Hyunjin’s trance, and his eyes widen in shock. He tries to remove his hands from yours, but they won’t budge.

“I-I can’t let go! Changbin, help!” All traces of bravado are gone from Hyunjin’s face, almost making him look like a small child. Changbin rushes behind his brother and wraps his hands around Hyunjin’s arms and pulls, but even with his added strength nothing happens.

You’ve collapsed to your knees at this point, pained whimpers escaping you every few seconds, tears streaming down your face from the pain. Changbin is on the verge of tears himsef, but he’s too afraid to touch you for fear of making things worse.

“Please just hold on…please. We’ll figure out how to fix this. We will. Promise.” His voice is small and scared, and it makes you cry even harder.

“I’m so sorry, I was just trying to help…I thought he was going to hurt you,” you hiccup. Just as you think you won’t be able to handle any more pain, the glow fades and you fully collapse onto the balcony floor. Changbin immediately rushes to you, cradling your upper half in his arms, alternating between running his hand over your hair and wiping away your tears.

“What did you do?!” he demands of Hyunjin, eyes full of fury. Hyunjin stares blankly down at the two of you in shock and just shakes his head.

Changbin turns to you as he stands, holding out a hand to help you up. “Let’s get you home, hmm?” His eyes are soft as he looks down at you. You reach up to grasp his hand, and as your fingers graze his, the needle feeling is back, but this time in your lungs.

“Binnie, I can’t…I can’t…it hurts…” you wheeze, gasping and holding your chest.

He drops to his knees immediately, hands flying to cup your face. “What hurts? What is it?” Changbin starts frantically checking you for injuries…your head, arms, torso…nothing. Until he reaches your legs. He gathers the fabric of your dress in his hands to check your legs and a shaky gasp leaves his lips. You look down and any amount of air you’d been able to gather in your lungs leaves.

Where your legs should be, there is a navy blue tail. A mermaid tail.

Changbin looks up at you, his mouth open in shock. “You’re…you…you can’t breathe!” he realizes, jumping up to his feet and rounding on Hyunjin. “What did you DO TO HER?!” he bellows this time. Before Hyunjin has a chance to answer, there’s a loud crack.

You look up, still gasping and only able to draw small breaths. Blood is pouring down Hyunjin’s face-Changbin has broken his nose. You’re suddenly being picked up-Changbin is carrying you to the ocean at a jog. Once you reach the shoreline, he slows as he wades out into the water with you. Once you’re submerged up to your chest, you gasp in a large breath…the feeling of stabbing needles is gone, and you’re able to regulate your breathing.

“Are you okay?” Changbin whispers, eyes wide.

You nod as the waves lap against your arms. “I always wanted to be a mermaid when I was little.” Changbin lets out a choked laugh at your response.

“Well, for what it’s worth, your tail is also very pretty…I’ve never seen a navy blue one.” You bury your face in the crook of his neck at the compliment. “You’re getting embarrassed? After you were turned into a mermaid?! You’re awfully calm for someone who should be panicking…” You lean back in his arms, and notice he seems to be the one panicking.

You shrug. “I’m with you. Why would I panic?” you say simply. Tears gather and spill onto his cheeks.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he murmurs into your hair.

“Nothing. I chose you. And you deserve to be chosen.”

Changbin smiles and gently lowers you into the water, still holding your hands as he leads you out to deeper waters where you can swim comfortably.

“I choose you too. Mermaid or human,” he smiles, and you smile back. “But…we should probably figure out a way to turn you back. Your family will miss you too much.”

“...I think I can help with that.” A small voice reaches the two of you, and you look back to see Hyunjin slowly wading towards you.

“I think you’ve done quite enough for a whole lifetime, don’t you?” Changbin spits harshly, and Hyunjin flinches as he reaches you.

“I have…but I think I know how this can be fixed. And not with my magic.”

Changbin raises a brow, skeptical. “Let him talk,” you urge, laying a gentle hand on Changbin’s arm.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin sends a small smile your way. “I think I know how to fix this. No magic…well, none of mine anyway.”

“So whose, then? Chan? We are not bringing him into this…though I’m sure he’d love to know what you’ve been up to.”

“Not mine, not Chan’s…yours.”

“What do you mean, mine? I don’t have any magic, you know that!” Changbin’s voice raises with each sentence, more and more exasperated.

“I think you might with the compass,” Hyunjin says simply. “I know before you weren’t that interested in it, but I think that maybe has changed.” He looks over at you knowingly, and holds out his hand to his brother.

Changbin reaches out and Hyunjin drops a small brass compass into his hand.

“How does it work?”

“As far as I’ve figured out, it’s almost like all those fairytales we read when we were kids. You just need to close your eyes and think about whatever your heart’s desire is.”

Changbin looks at you with worry clouding his face. “What if it doesn’t work?” he whispers.

“What if it does?” You cup his cheeks in your hands and meet his lips with yours.

He smiles softly at you. “No matter what…I love you.” You gasp and he laughs. “Are you really that surprised?”

“I guess not,” you laugh, capturing his lips in another kiss.

“Ahem,” Hyunjin interrupts you, motioning towards the compass in Changbin’s hands.

“Right…I guess I’ll see you on the other side then.” Changbin closes his eyes and furrows his brow in concentration. There is silence for a moment, then the compass starts spinning, slowly at first, then furiously.

You exchange a nervous glance with Hyunjin, and when you look back at Changbin, there is a golden glow emitting from the compass as it continues to spin. As you watch, the glow gets brighter and brighter, until you have to cover your face and turn away.

After a few moments, the glow dies down enough for you to look back at Changbin. He opens his eyes tentatively. “Are you okay?” he asks, and you nod. “Your tail?” You lean back to float on your back, and to your surprise, your feet breach the surface of the water instead of the tail that was there a minute before. A huge smile breaks across Changbin’s face and he leans back as well, his feet next to yours.

At the sight, he pulls them back under him, spluttering as he accidentally swallows water in surprise. “I still have feet!” he manages to get out between coughs.

“What did you think about?” Hyunjin asks.

“I just thought about things being the way they should be.” Changbin’s voice is laced with confusion. “I figured it would turn her back into a human, but I thought I would be a merman again too.”

“Maybe you should be human. With her.” Hyunjin smiles, gesturing to you. Changbin’s eyes follow the motion and light up when he meets your eyes.

“I mean, I kinda hoped…but I didn’t want to try my luck or anything.” You’re smiling so hard it’s hurting your cheeks, even though you have tears running down your face.

“I get to keep you…I was so scared I was going to eventually lose you,” you confess. Changbin closes the gap between you, grabbing your hand and leading you to shallower water where he proceeds to lift and spin you in his arms.

“You’re never getting rid of me now,” he smirks and you giggle into the kiss he lands on your mouth as he gently places you back on the sand.

You wrap your arms around Changbin and sway slowly with him under the light of the stars.

“I’m so happy I get to be with you. For as long as you’ll have me.” Changbin smiles at your statement, burying his head in your neck and placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “Also, I forgot to tell you earlier…”

He raises his head and looks at you curiously.

“...I love you too.”

---------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam @itsmegracekim @iluvhyunjinnieboo

Read more of my work here!

#skz #skz fluff #changbin x reader #changbin oneshot #changbin fluff #changbin x y/n #skz au #skz fic #changbin imagines #changbin fic #changbin au

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clumsiestgiantess · 5 months

Text

Lots of people wanted a continuation to the short I made for @entomolog-t’s prompt, so here you are! I already had ideas for a second part the moment I finished the first one!

(First part here)

I was so tired the night of my disappearing act that I barely made it to the scraps of insulated fabric I call my bed. Just as my head hit the comfortable fluff, a thud echoed above my head and I dashed to the doorway in seconds, heart racing. More thuds rumbled over the floorboards as I stood frozen looking fearfully upwards — believing Alice somehow knows where I am, and is trying to pry up the wooden planks to get to me. Faintly, I can hear her muffled voice. “Please, I know you’re scared, but hiding isn’t going to do either of us any good! Just come out; I swear I’m not dangerous!”

Oh. She’s probably crawling around on the floor trying to find me. Well, unless she can crawl beneath it, she’ll have a tough time finding anything but dust! I sneered at the thought, trying to reassure myself enough to get back in bed. I’m safe now. She’s not going to find me here. However, no matter how many fabric scraps I press over my ears, I can’t drown out enough noise for me to sleep. Even when I lay on the cold floor with everything over my head until I’m nearly suffocating, I can still feel the vibrations of Alice moving around. Just go to sleep already! Thud around all you like in the morning when I leave for the day! Regardless of my mental harassment of her, the human didn’t give up until it was early morning.

Finally, I have peace and quiet, and I fall asleep in record time. Come morning, the house is still silent as ever. I wake up with a gnawing ache in my chest. Briefly, I think it’s guilt over what I’d done the day before — turns out it was just hunger. I’d run away before getting to eat yesterday. Thankfully, I have some provisions that I’ve stored away for emergencies. I grab a few crackers and glance at the little watch piece that’s fastened to the wall. Oh, what?! I slept in! I usually never sleep in! My natural alarm wakes me up at almost the exact time every day. Then again, I’m usually asleep much earlier than last night, too.

No wonder the floor is so quiet; Alice is probably out of the house by now, or in her room working on human things. Quickly finishing breakfast, I slip on my bag and head out to the large kitchen. Now that my emergency stash of food is diminished, I’m a bit anxious to get it stocked again. I walk the same trek I’d sleepily walked the night before, but stop at the end of the hall where the electrical cover sits. Maybe I’ll.. go a different way.

Taking the long way through the walls, I come out inside a cabinet with windowed doors. Reaching out to push one open, I glance out of it and flinch. With cautious steps, I slide backward behind some cups. Alice is in the room. None of her usual music is playing, she isn’t watching videos on her phone, she isn’t talking to herself or a friend on the phone, either. She’s just sitting there with what appears to be her breakfast, staring numbly at a wall. Huh. Whatever ‘exams’ are, they really seem to be stressing her out. Usually she’s done with breakfast by now.

Her strange behavior can’t be because of me. She had spent less than twelve hours with me, and most of that time she spent ignoring me. Logically, she wouldn’t be that upset over someone she barely knew, right? She’d given up her search hours ago when she finally stopped keeping me up all night.

A while later, she leaves. It’s strange, though. Alice steps lightly across the room, glancing around the floor before each step. Maybe she lost something important? That tends to make humans fairly stressed. Hell, it makes me stressed. If a human’s missing something, it might mean I made a bad judgment call on what I could take without being noticed.

My nerves settle when the sound of her footsteps fade off. Back to business. My day runs relatively smoothly from there. Of course, I had to come across a knot or two in my climbing rope mid-scale, which I wasn’t too happy about. After collecting up some food, I spent a long while getting the knots to untie. It’s always best to get them out before you make a climb, that way your weight won’t tug them tighter. It was too late for that lesson to come in handy, though.

My next chore on the list is borrowing some more thread to stitch winter linings back into my clothes. The winter weather caught me by surprise. It had come earlier than I thought, and I’d nearly died because of it. Briefly, blurry visions of the inside of that knitted hat fade in and out of my consciousness. I nearly froze to death that night. If the thing hadn’t been left there accidentally, I wouldn’t have made it long enough to even try to get help. Blinking away the memories, I realized I was shivering and rubbed my hands over my arms for a bit more warmth, reminding myself that I’m safe here. The apartment never gets that cold. Ever.

At my home under the floors that afternoon, I gather up the materials I already collected. I have the fluffy inner lining that I’d taken from an old coat Alice left in a storage bin — I’ve been using it as bedding — my knife to cut everything to size, and a smaller needle I’d whittled out of a long chunk of wood. Now all I need is the thread.

Back in my little passages, I head in the opposite direction through the floor. I slow as I make my way up into the walls towards Alice’s room. Unfortunately, that’s where the sewing kit is, directly under her bed. Alice will be there for sure. Whatever she’s working on this time must be important. I haven’t heard her leave her room all day since I saw her walk in this morning. She hasn’t even gotten lunch. Maybe she has a snack on her desk! Perhaps when she’s asleep or out of the house I’ll steal some of it.

Sliding out of a crack in the baseboards behind a large bookshelf, I creep up to the very edge of it and scan the room. Sure enough, Alice is there doing schoolwork, watching a video on something called ‘trigonometry’ that I can barely pronounce — I don’t dare try to imagine what it actually is. At least she’s not being unnervingly still anymore.

I dart from my place beneath the bookshelf to beneath her bed. The sewing kit sits further towards the wall, right beside her desk. Alice seems distracted enough, scribbling down something while mumbling about things I don’t understand. She does that often enough that it isn’t as concerning as this morning. Maybe she’s finally returning to normal. That’s a relief. A human on a schedule is a good human to live with. Memorize it, use it to your advantage, and you’ll practically own the place — at least while they’re not around.

Making my way to the box, I wait for the video to start playing again before popping open the lid — timing it so she doesn’t pick up the noise amidst the other sounds she’s concentrating on. Sliding a few things around, I manage a clear path to the spool I want. Rummaging through various different items larger than yourself is no easy task, but I make it look practically effortless. A shrunken human would never be able to do half the things I do on a daily basis, I think with a smirk. I yank out the spool of thread and reach for my knife.

“No! What? How?! I used the same formula and everything!” I flinch as Alice yells, her angry voice edged with dismay. Cautiously, I tiptoe over to the side of her bedframe and glance up at her. She’s frantically writing something down, biting at her bottom lip with furrowed brows. Whatever it is, she isn’t too happy about it. I’m just about to continue my work when she glances over at the computer screen again. “What the heck?!” Furiously, she crumples her paper into a crushed ball, looking ready to throw it across the room in a fit of rage. I brace myself instinctively, thankful I hadn’t stuck around to anger her.

Suddenly, a sob wrenches out of Alice’s throat, catching me entirely by surprise. She curls her arms around her head as it falls to the surface of the desk. The paper ball drops dully to the floor. Her whole body shakes as she cries onto her desk, and my relief drops into a muted kind of confusion. “I’m gonna fail,” she whimpers, “I can’t do this. Why is everything going so wrong? I just wanted to help him; why’d he run away? I feel sick. What if he’s hurt somewhere and can’t call for help? What if he’s too scared to call for help?”

She.. really is worried about me. So worried that she’s acting like a complete mess — and not the silly endearing mess I’m fond of her for. If my disappearance amplifies her worries over these exams… Well, she didn’t tell me what would happen if she failed them, just that she couldn’t. I abandon the thread I’m after and rush for the crack in the wall behind the bookshelf. A plan’s forming in my mind. It might backfire horribly, but I’m hoping it’ll work. Alice is much too distracted for me to even bother checking if the coast is clear. Her light sobs still echo against the surface of her desk.

I slip between the two halves of the wall and take a large calming breath. Then I start shouting. “Alice! It’s ok, I-” The human sits up so abruptly I stop talking fearfully. I don’t know how beings as big as her can move so quickly. She scans the floor of the entire room in only a few seconds. Of course, I’m smart enough not to be in plain sight. “Hello?” Alice’s voice is slightly muffled like her nose is stuffy. I swallow a lump that formed in my throat. “It’s.. It’s ok. It’s me, the ‘little guy’.” Alice hastily rubs away her tears and stands up. “You’re… alright?” she asks me, glancing around. “Yeah.”

“Oh thank god!” Alice gasps, relieved. “You made me so worried for you! Are you hungry still? I- I know you haven’t eaten in a while since you.. ran off when I tried to get something for you.”

The room falls into an awkward silence. I can’t see much of her from beneath the bookshelf, but I watch Alice nervously shuffle from foot to foot — waiting for my response. She can’t stay silent for very long, though. “Look, I’m sorry I scared you off… I don’t know what happened, but I’m willing to work with you to try and get your memories and your old life back. I can’t imagine how terrifying it is to suddenly be so small, not even knowing how you got that way-”

“Stop.” Alice quieted at the single word. “That’s.. a lie. I remember everything just fine.” I want to say that I’m not terrified of being small either, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Even if I’ve lived my whole life this way, I still have my moments. Yesterday and that whole escapade with the freezing car was one of the worst of them. “So.. you just didn’t want to tell me how you shrank?” I sigh, “No.. Alice, I- I never shrank. I’ve always been this way.” She starts and stops talking a few different times — syllables barely leaving her mouth. “I’m not human, Alice.”

The silence that follows is worse than the last. It feels almost suffocating. A gentle thud reverberates over the floorboards and I peer out. Alice is kneeling on the floor, leaning down to peer under the bookshelf. Quickly, I duck back behind the wall. “Is that why you left?” Her voice softens, tears entirely gone. “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.” “You promised the tiny human me that you wouldn’t hurt me.” I glance out of my hiding spot just as Alice’s gaze wanders, thinking through something.

“You thought I would go back on my word if I knew you were lying to me? Or you just.. thought that I wouldn’t care because you’re not human?” she asks me, sounding hurt. I feel almost chastised. Her gaze flickers to me. “I promised you that I wouldn’t hurt you. You. No matter who or what you were. I’m a bit upset you wanted to lie to me about… everything. But I can’t be mad at you for being scared of me. I won’t ask you to talk to me anymore if you don’t want to, but just know, I’m glad you’re alright.”

Tears of relief well in my eyes and my throat tightens. Tentatively, I slide out from within the crack in the wall. “You- You really mean that? You don’t care that I’m not one of you?” A small smile spreads over Alice’s lips. Of course not, don’t be silly! You’re safe here, I promise. I understand if you want to go home, though. You probably have others of your kind to get back to, and I’ve accidentally trapped you in my house.” I glance away sheepishly, “Well, about that… I kind of.. live here.” “What?!”

I end up telling her every part of the truth — how I really got into her car, where I’d gone to when I ran off — everything. “I actually did remember my name. It’s just.. not really a human-sounding one, so I couldn’t exactly give you it. My name’s Fennel, but I mostly just go by Fen.” “Fen?” she asks a bit confusedly. I nod. “Nice to finally really meet you!” Alice laughs, “How long have you been living here.. with me?” I think back. “I moved in after you were already here, but you were still unpacking things, so I don’t think it was very far off from when you moved in, too.” Alice makes a surprised noise. “Where were you living before?” “Eh, another apartment in this building. The new people were too loud, so I moved out.” She giggled, “I wish I could just pack up and slip into a new home whenever I have problems with the neighbors.” I sigh, “It’s harder than it seems; I have to rebuild a livable space for myself every time.” Alice nods thoughtfully, sitting back up. Some of her bones crack as she does, and I flinch.

“Hey, if you don’t mind, can you maybe come out from beneath there? It hurts my back to try to bend all the way to the floor to look at you.” She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you. “Alright.” With slow deliberate steps I make my way out from beneath the bookshelf. Alice sits a foot away from me. I have to crane my neck back vertically to see her face, peering almost all the way downward at me. She offers me the palm of her hand. “Can I hold you? Please?” My heartbeat thunders so loudly I almost don’t hear what she asks. Cautiously, I nod and step up onto her hand, raised just a bit higher than a stair. She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you.

I’ve never interacted with a human before her, but I’ve seen it happen before. My brother — well, he wasn’t actually my brother, but we always called eachother that — had been found by a human. I was there. It was pitch dark, perfect time for borrowing. We’d forgotten a light, but Gin scoffed at the idea of going back for one — until he stepped into a mouse trap. Every once and a while I’ll still hear the awful noise made when the trap snapped closed on him. The human came running when they heard the gargled shriek, and the last thing he told me was to leave him there. The metal beam that had crunched around his midsection somehow hadn’t killed him, but his body was far from unharmed.

From a grate in the floor nearby, I watched as the human found him, ensured him things would be alright, and pulled him out of the trap — tearing him in two. In hindsight, I don’t think the human meant to kill him. They screamed and dropped the half of him they were holding. I was too stricken and horrified to process that in the moment, so I just ran.

“Fen?” I flinched so violently I nearly knocked myself in the face with my hand, instinctively trying to cover my head with my arms. “Are you ok? You look sick. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can put you back down. You didn’t have to get on.” It’s just like in the car — her blue-eyed gaze looking me over with genuine concern. “I- I’m alright.” She gently shakes her head. “You aren’t, though. You’re shaking.” The gentlest pressure alights on my chest as a soft finger brushes up against it. “And your heart’s beating really fast.” Her touch is so soft — incredibly cautious like she’s holding something precious and delicate. Maybe I am, to her. It’s nothing like what I had imagined a human would feel like, nothing at all.

In a brief moment of weakness, my eyes tear up and I squeeze her finger closer, pressing my forehead against it. It is absolutely terrifying thinking about where I am. I’ve spent all my life believing it’s a place of certain death. Why is it so comfortable? All Alice would have to do to hurt me is close her fist and squeeze. My fate wouldn’t be that much different than Gin’s. She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you.

Everything shifts around me and I rush to get out of her grip, immediately fearing that my imagination somehow willed an awful reality. But Alice brings me up to her chest and holds me gently against it. She tucks me against her sternum as her head comes to rest behind her hands that hold me. “It’s alright now.” I’m not sure if she’s assuring me, or herself, but I accept it and bring myself snugly against her. It’s blissfully warm there. While the walls where I live aren’t nearly as freezing as the outdoors, they’re still plenty cold. The heat is more than welcome. My wild pulse softens into a much normal rhythm while I listen to Alice’s own heartbeat thrumming beneath her skin.

Things are fuzzy in my mind beyond that moment. I’ve been up for a full twenty-four hours, and the night before was only worse than the last. I remember stumbling off her palm onto her desk, watching dazedly as Alice looked around the room for something. She finds it and places it down for me. It’s a little blanket folded over so it can be both a mattress and blanket at the same time. I crawl into it, listening to the sound of pencil scratches on paper for only a few minutes before I fall asleep mumbling a weary ‘thank you’.

#hope you enjoy!#g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing

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bottlesofrouge · 4 months

Text

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part four.

word count: 15K (sorrrry)

warnings: talks of alcohol abuse, minor mentions of homophobia, hinting at a past abusive relationship, bleeding, i think that's it

23 JULY 2018

lynn wakes up late.

she slept through a total of three alarms, fifteen texts, and four phone calls from harry. his incessant banging on her front door was what finally got her out of bed, and by that time, she was already twenty minutes late.

so, she literally rolled out of bed, grabbed her belongings and ran to meet harry at his car. she was sporting old, ratty sweatpants and a t-shirt from her high school mathletes club. glasses replaced her usual contacts and she didn't even have time to brush her teeth.

harry's waiting with his trunk open. he's got on slacks and a stupid button-up top that matches his eyes, and she thinks his hair is slicked back in a way that makes it look a little greasy, but when she gets closer she realizes that it's just wet and also all chopped off. he looks so perfect and pulled together it makes her sick.

"rough night?" he's got his mouth turned upwards in a smirk so big, you'd be blind to miss it. it's annoying and obnoxious, and she makes sure at least one of her bags nudges him on the way into the trunk.

"3am manic episode haircut?" she bites back.

"alright," harry pushes the button to close the trunk. "let's go. we're already late."

the two don't talk for the entire car ride. lynn spends it knocked out with her face pressed against the glass, and she doesn't wake up until harry's shaking her shoulder in the parking lot of the westchester county airport.

he's got all of their bags out of the car already, and he doesn't let lynn carry anything besides her purse. really, there's so many bags. she's got three and he's got two of his own, yet he makes carrying all of them look effortless. like he could do it for ten miles without ever breaking a sweat.

once they've got their bags checked in, lynn drools at the sight of the tsa line. she's so tired. she feels like she could fall asleep using one of the scanner belts as a bed.

she can't tell if harry could read her mind or if she just looked that utterly exhausted because he gently pulls on her elbow, letting her put all of her weight on him. he's got his arms wrapped around her center and his head's on shoulder. she thinks that if she wasn't so tired, she'd push him off. they look like the average teenage couple at an amusement park. how humiliating.

she felt so pathetic leaning on him like this, but lynn couldn't bring herself to move. last night was the first night in practically months that she slept for more than ninety consecutive minutes. it was like every hour of missed sleep was catching up to her all at once, and keeping her eyes open seemed like the most difficult task in the world. she was definitely not god's strongest solider.

"s'nice," she hums, opening her eyes enough to look over at him, "your hair. it suits you."

his face flushes, and she can't help the grin that spreads across her face. she loves making him blush. he'd stumble over his words and avoid eye contact while he spoke. it was cute.

he was cute.

she expects some kind of flustered 'thank you' to come out of his mouth, but it doesn't. instead he puts his palm out to her face, "maybe you should have a mint."

her eyes roll when she straightens herself back up, no longer leaning on him. she goes through the line first, and when harry's bag gets pulled, she slips away into the bathroom wanting to brush every square inch of her mouth before he could notice she was gone.

harry talks to the gate agent to get their seats switched so they could have two next to each other. lynn had asked her first, and the girl behind the desk said it was a completely full flight, but then harry went up there with that stupid grin and his shining green eyes, and came back three minutes later with two new boarding passes and a phone number on a scrap piece of paper.

"unbelievable," lynn mutters, and harry laughs, shoving the piece of paper in his pocket.

"sorry she didn't think you were sexy, blondie," he teases. "do you think maybe it's the stained sweatpants or the mathletes tshirt? personally, i'd say the glasses-"

"i'm not in the mood right now, harry. don't piss me off."

he hums, arms wrapping around her shoulders, "you look cute, lynn. very soccer mom."

she gently shoves him away, but not before he kisses her. it was nothing crazy, just a peck and she's not really sure why he does it, but when lynn looks over at the girl behind the counter, she's already looking back.

lynn knows harry was only teasing, but she pretends to be interested in the way the little car is pushing back a plane at a nearby gate to hide the way tears pool in her eyes. maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or maybe she was extra sensitive today, but the way he spoke about her reminded her of kathleen in the worst way possible.

harry asks to take the window since he was the one to get their seats changed after all, but lynn refuses. he was pissing her off so badly today. all she wanted to do was put in her airpods and go the fuck to sleep.

harry taps her shoulder, leaning in again to ask if they could switch.

"i'm not giving you head."

the flush returns to his face as one of the flight attendants passes by, eyes rolling at lynn's words. lynn watches as she looks up at the seat numbers, mentally making a note of where the two were sitting.

"fuck, lynn. are you kidding me?"

"stop bothering me," she replies, taking his sweatshirt off of his lap and shoving the balled up fabric between her head and the wall. "have a good flight, harry."

he scoffs next to her, opening his mouth to say something else, but lynn's already turning up her music and closing her eyes.

✮✮✮

lynn's family wasn't coming in until later. they were all originally booked on a flight at twelve in the afternoon, but once she saw harry's flight confirmation, she changed hers. it would be unfair to have him wake up so early just to sit alone at the airport for hours on end.

so, she forked over the money to change her flight and the time for the rental car reservation, and while she was at it, she put the car under harry's name so technically, he had be the one doing all the driving. it was just another thing to make this trip easier for her.

she's sitting in the passenger seat of a green kia soul, looking at the text from her mother that just came through.

'Selfish as usual Lynn.'

her parents owned a condo in the keys. they had bought it when she was the only child, so it was small, one bedroom and one bathroom. her aunts were supposed to take it while she stayed with her family in a bigger condo in the same resort, but now that harry was coming, aunt cece wanted lynn and harry to be able to have some alone time, and offered it up.

and who was she to say no? kathleen being completely against it was just a bonus.

"what made you cut all your hair off in the middle of the night?" lynn asks, eyes focused on the water outside of her window. she felt better. well-rested. it was like she was a new person.

"just wanted a change," he says. "probably a 3am manic episode or whatever you called it.

she hums, stretching in her seat before looking over at him. she meant what she said. short hair suited him. lynn might even go as far to say that it looked better than his long hair. significantly better, really.

"i dropped out of college," he says. it's random, but he says it with such urgency, like he's been waiting— itching to tell her. "that night you stayed over. i dropped out that day."

"nice!" she holds her hand up for a high five, but he just looks at her with furrowed brows and his lips slightly parted. "are you really going to leave me hanging?"

"sorry i don't want to celebrate me ruining my life." his tone is cold and sharp, and so different from how he's been towards her all day.

she can't help the way her eyes roll. "college isn't for everyone, harry. i'm a drop out, and look at me."

"my point exactly."

"excuse me?" her chest feels hot, and she sits up in her seat to fully look at him. "what is that supposed to mean?"

"mommy and daddy aren't going to fork over thousands so i can open my own art studio," he says. "you don't know what it's like to have parents who would never dream of supporting you. they're going to kill me when i tell them."

"you don't fucking know me, harry," she's cut off my another text coming through.

'Shouldn't have expected anything less.'

✮✮✮

"did you want something with jackie?" lynn's sitting on the couch of the condo, and harry's leaning back next to her in a recliner that probably cost more than the bakery's monthly rent. there's an end table between them which held lynn's nearly empty wine glass and a bottle of ibuprofen so big, it cost her a whopping thirty five dollars. "did i ruin that? is that why you're always so upset with me?"

the two haven't spoken since the car ride from the airport. harry wordlessly pulled in to a gas station, and lynn went inside while he pumped the gas. she came out with two bottles of white wine and her precious ibuprofen to find him in the passenger seat.

their bags were thrown in the single bedroom as soon as they walked in. lynn carried in her purse and gas station wine and by the time she figured out how to unlock the door, harry was behind her with all five pieces of luggage.

she hated how much of a gentleman he was.

"i don't date, lynn." his eyes never leave his phone screen.

"sure you do. if you found the right person."

"you think my right person is someone who screws her best friends boyfriend?" he looks up at her and pops the piece of gum he's been chewing since they got on the plane in new york. the way he's chewing should be a felony.

lynn thinks she's going to need more wine to finish the conversation, so she gets up to refill her glass. she feels a little light on her feet when she walks, and perhaps she should stop while she's ahead.

she contemplates it for a second in the kitchen, but she's had a rough day. lynn tips the wine bottle into her glass until it's empty.

"i get the feeling that you don't really like me," she takes her seat on the couch again. "and i know it's not all unwarranted. i've had my bad moments."

harry looks up, eyeing the way her finger traces the stem of her over poured glass of wine. "i think you should stop drinking."

she nods, not in agreement, but in a way that meant she knew harry would say something like that. "right."

he sighs and sets his phone on the table. "jackie was a friend." his shoulders move up. "she was hot so we slept together."

she brings the wine glass up to her lips, taking a gulp so big, harry could probably see the way it moves down her throat.

"our relationship is so different than that, lynn. you know parts of me that no one else does and i don't even know your middle name."

she waves her hand dismissively, "why don't you just ask?"

"because the one time i was vulnerable with you," he spits. "you threw it right back in my face."

there's so much anger laced in his voice, it makes lynn's stomach hurt. that hot feeling comes seeping into her chest, and she tries to hide the tears brimming in her eyes behind another hefty sip of wine.

"i'm sorry," her voice cracks, and she expects harry to soften up just a little bit. "i shouldn't have. i just-"

"you just what?" his eyebrow's are furrowed when he speaks and lynn looks down to see his fists clenched around nothing.

he was still so mad at her.

"i was jealous of the way that you were with her," lynn admits. they were rarely ever so honest with each other, saying it made her feel like she just stood up and stripped naked in the middle of the room.

"jealous that i was fucking her? because we can fix that."

her eyes close, and she brings the glass to her lips again. she loathes the way harry can turn what feels like the most innocent of conversations into something sexual. maybe one day he'd see her for more than just her body.

"you were kind to her," her voice is quiet and soft, like she was telling him her inner most secrets. "and i wanted you to be kind to me, too."

"because you have been so kind to me?" harry's mouth thinned and eyes narrowed with his words.

"yeah, well. i guess not," lynn laughs a little to hide the way a tear spilled over. "i mean i tried to be when we first met at that stupid barbecue and you hated-"

"i didn't want to be there," he interrupts. "i was having a horrible day and my mom trying to set me up just pushed me over the edge."

"how do you think i felt?" her eyes are pleading with him as she speaks. lynn's not really sure what she's asking for, but she thinks she gets it when he takes a deep breath through his nose and his shoulders fall with his exhale.

"if i hated you, i wouldn't have given you my bed," he speaks without breaking eye contact. "and i definitely wouldn't have spent hours making two different meals for you."

"why did you do that?"

he shrugs. "i wanted to."

"but why?"

"i don't fucking know, lynn."

it's falls silent, and she finishes her glass of wine. when she sets the empty glass down on the table, it almost tips over, but harry's quick to catch it and pull it away from her.

maybe he was being more attentive than she thought.

"my grandma paid for my bakery," she hiccups. "left me all this money in her will with a letter that said to spend it on something that would make me happy."

lynn watches as his face softens and his shoulders slouch over in the chair.

"i know what it's like to do it all on your own. my parents never supported me, harry. not once. and i guess i had the financial support, but it came with my grandma dying which is so fucking devastating because she was the only one to ever want something more for me."

the room starts to feel hotter the more she thinks about it. her jaw clenches and all she can see is red. it was so unfair.

"lynn, i didn't know."

"no one knows because i'm never in that bakery." she seethes. "i opened it because i love to bake, and now i sit an in office and do paperwork and payroll every second that isn't taken up by raising two kids that aren't even mine."

"you don't have to raise them. it wouldn't hurt to take a step back," he looks pained almost when he speaks, and lynn's jaw drops at his words, a stare of blank amazement written all over her face. how could he be so stupid?

"i've lived the life that doing that would give them, and it fucking sucks. i don't want them to ever feel like that."

she doesn't even realize she's crying until it's quiet between them and she can finally hear the quiet sobs that come bubbling up from her chest.

"my parents pay for everything," harry blurts. she's turned so she doesn't have to look at him, but she can hear the frantic sound in his voice. it's like he's scrambling to make sense of what just happened between them. offering her whatever reasoning he can to explain why he just acted the way he did. "i've been so stressed thinking about what's going to happen when they find out, and i took it out on you when i shouldn't have. i'm sorry."

"if you needed help with money, there's always a job for you at my bakery, harry. you have to get it through your thick skull that you just need to ask for help."

"i don't want hand outs."

lynn can't help the way she laughs out loud, "it's a job. you actually have to work for what you make. i know that's probably a foreign concept for you."

a knock at the door interrupts them, and harry stands up to answer it. when the door swings open, kathleen's already walking inside. she's got her sunglasses on and her arms are crossed in front of her and god, lynn knew this was going to break her.

"harry, hi!" she kisses his cheek. "i hope your travels were good. i know how lynn can be."

she hears them laugh, and lynn uses the tips of her fingers to push the tears back into her eyes. she was not going to give either of them the satisfaction of watching her cry. again.

kathleen walks past him, standing on the other side of the coffee table to block the window lynn was pretending to look out of.

"confining your poor aunts to a small bedroom, i raised you better than this, lynn adams."

"aunt cece insisted on trading with us, mom," her words were soft. if she spoke any louder, she knew her voice would waver. "harry would be more comfortable here, and silas would actually have space when he comes."

kathleen looks over to harry who is staring back at the two wide-eyed.

"it was an empty offer, lynn. you of all people should be familiar with those."

lynn wants to scream at her mom because what the fuck is that supposed to mean. she knows her mom's probably upset that she had to watch her own two children on a three hour flight, but lynn doesn't want to push it. instead, she just blinks. she's so miserable.

"breakfast is at 8 tomorrow. don't be late," she goes to leave but turns back after a step. "i hope you can pull yourself together enough to not look like you belong under an underpass."

"i've raised you to take pride in your appearance," kathleen takes a step towards lynn with every hateful word she spews until she's practically in her face. her fingers pinch the sleeve of the t-shirt the girl's wearing. "this is embarrassing for me, lynn."

kathleen stands up, clapping her hands together like she didn't just humiliate her daughter, and turns to harry with the biggest smile on her face.

"sorry, harry. i'm sure you're well accustomed with just how selfish she can be," she kisses his cheek on the way to the door. "we are so glad you could join us. see you tomorrow."

she walks out of the door, and harry stays frozen in place. he's got those same wide doe eyes, and his lips are parted. his eyebrows are drawn together, and lynn can't help but look away. she hated when people pitied her.

there's a watery smile sat on her face, and she forces a teasing laugh, "how's that for being vulnerable?"

"i didn't know she treated you like that," harry says after a moment.

"she's just having a bad day," lynn shrugs. the way she says it is almost convincing, but when lynn finally gets a good read on the look in harry's eyes, she breaks. nasty sobs, ones so big they take her breath away, fall from her mouth, and she buries her face into her hands, wishing nothing more than to never be perceived by the boy standing in front of her again.

harry doesn't say anything, and instead sits down next to her. she feels his hands pressing against her back and fingers squeezing her shoulders, and when it's not enough, he pulls her into him with such force it almost hurts. his lips press against the side of her head before he tucks her head under his chin and squeezes her as tight as he can until she feels like she can finally catch her breath again.

"i don't want to be here," lynn confesses. it's quiet and harry barely catches it, but when it registers, he presses his lips against her hair and rubs his hand up and down her arm.

"i know," she can feel the words vibrate in his chest. "i'd say we go home right now, but i don't think you'd want that."

she shakes her head. "i don't want to leave my sisters here without me."

"you've got me here," he offers. "we can have fun with them."

lynn snorts. "we can't go eight hours without ripping each other's heads off."

she says it like it's a scientifically proven fact. like nothing could ever change that, yet she's holding on to his shirt like he's the only thing keeping her all put together. if he were to let her go, she'd break into a million pieces.

"i'm sorry for earlier," harry says. "i was such a dick."

"it's okay," she hums.

"it's not," his thumbs rub circles against her skin when he speaks. "i never want me treating you like that to be okay."

lynn can't help herself, "i don't think you'd be saying that if you didn't see how my mother treated me."

"probably not," he admits. "i still would've been wrong, though. i don't want to be someone you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around, lynn."

lynn hums and leans into him more, and harry pulls her closer, his grip tightening. there's probably going to be bruises left behind on her skin from just how tightly he's holding her against him.

she wishes the marks would stay forever so she could always remember the way she wasn't left to put herself together all on her own for once. she'd probably press her fingertips into them every time she felt so broken and alone, desperately hoping to feel the way she does now.

"i should be the one apologizing," her voice is raw. "i've been just as terrible to you. probably even worse."

"you're kind, too," harry mouths against her temple. "especially when it matters, s'where i lack. i'm not very good at being kind."

she leans back, scoffing. "not very good at being kind? look at you now."

he loosens his arms, but they still stay around her like he's scared to let her go. harry's cheeks turn pink, and he brings one hand up to use the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from under her eyes.

"yeah well," he laughs lightly. "i don't like seeing you upset."

her eyebrow raises, and she looks at him skeptically.

"i hate being the one who upsets you even more," his fingers pull her hair away from her sticky cheeks and tucks the strands behind her ear. "i don't know. i think we should've spent some time getting to know each other a bit more before we started all of this."

"would've changed your mind after realizing just how much of a bitch i was, huh?"

she's got a teasing smile on her lips, but harry just frowns. "lynn, no. that's not it at all."

"i was kidding," she chews her lips, looking down to smooth out the collar of his shirt. "kind of. i was a bitch."

"and i've been been a dick so we can call it even. i just— i don't know. this was supposed to make our lives easier, and i feel like we're just constantly hurting or upsetting each other."

"yeah," she hums. "do you want to go home?"

"no. of course not. that's not what i meant." he sighs, and lynn leans back. his hands still loosely sit on her arms, but there's space between them now.

"i think we could use this trip to get to know each other," lynn says. "communicate more, set some boundaries. being more comfortable with each other physically wouldn't kill either. i know my mom would start to have some questions if she constantly walked in on us nine feet apart from each other."

"yeah, i agree."

"are you okay if we maybe just sit here for a minute?" she asks. "together? you know, to get more comfortable with each other?"

"yeah, let me just.." he moves so he's got his back against a pillow propped up on the arm of the couch. harry takes lynn with him, so she's curled up against his side, head resting on his chest. he's got his arm around her and she can feel like way his fingertips trail from her hip to her ribcage and then back down. "there."

they're only like that for a minute before she starts crying again. "m'sorry."

"don't be," his voice matches the intensity of hers. he takes a deep breath, and then, "i've got you, blondie. just like you had me."

"m'not usually this weepy," she says. "haven't been in a while."

harry doesn't say anything at first, and lynn can feel the way his heart beat quickens when he opens his mouth, "does your mom treat your sisters like that, too?"

"i don't think so," she hums. "she's not always that intense either. s'why i stay around so much. i'd rather it be me than them."

maybe it's the bottle of wine, or maybe harry's just made her feel that comfortable. "she's better with them. when i was a baby, i had an au pair. my dad had an affair with her, and moved out before i was even one. i think she blames me for that. like their marriage would be so different if i hadn't been born."

"lynn, i-"

she's quick to sit up on her forearm, pressing her palm to harry's mouth. "i think it's the wine that's got me spilling all my secrets. don't reply to that."

"i just wish you had better," he says, and lynn can't help the watery grin that spreads across her face.

"me too," she hums. he's looking at her in a way she can't really read, and she's looking back with old tears drying on her cheeks and fresh ones pooling in her eyes.

lynn sits up when all the glances and touches start to feel like maybe she'd like to be trapped underneath him, his lips pressed against hers until she couldn't breathe anymore.

she'd blame that last thought on the wine.

"we passed a chinese spot on the way in," she says.

"but we just had chinese."

"but chicken lo mein?" lynn's rubbing her belly like she's absolutely famished. "god, i'm so hungry."

harry laughs, and lynn can't help but stare. his eyes wrinkled at the sides and his dimples came out, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it cute.

"let me get the keys."

"perfect. let me go change."

"don't," he catches her wrist. "your mom has to be so fucking miserable. you look fine." he's looking at her with such intensity, it makes her stomach hurt.

"you're not embarrassed by this?" her voice is soft. she's still got her mathlete's t-shirt on, but she swapped the sweatpants for a pair of shorts.

"fuck no," he says. "i was just teasing you at the airport, lynn. you look pretty, really. you always do."

her cheeks warm, and she pretends to fix her hair in the reflection of the t.v. to hide it.

"maybe no more teasing about how i look."

"of course," he moves next to her, doing the same to his hair. "should've punched me in the face and told me to shut the fuck up. m'sorry, lynn."

"s'okay," she laughs lightly, catching his eye in the reflection. "i think we owe ourselves a fresh start.”

"i think so, too."

they share a two top table in the corner of a small hole in the wall chinese restaurant that took forever to get to. harry orders for them, swapping both of their usual meals for something a bit bigger. lynn got general tso’s chicken with lo mein as a side, and harry asked for beef and broccoli with a side of his usual fried rice.

they ate in silence for a few minutes, each being too hungry to talk, but once the hunger pains subsided, harry started to make a list in the notes app of his phone.

“touching’s okay,” lynn says around her fork. “but maybe we should ask before kissing. at least until it’s something we’re both really comfortable with.”

harry nods in agreement, making it the fourth bullet point in the list. it fell behind communicating better, no more sex jokes, and no more pushing each other too far.

lynn hums in contentment at the list. her brain felt fuzzy and focusing on coming up with another bullet point felt like the hardest task ever, so she moved her attention to the chicken in front of her until harry turned his phone around.

stand up for each other when it comes to our parents

lynn grins at him, “i like that one. maybe we can add no more labeling it as an open relationship if that’s okay with you. you can still see other people, just have to be a little more careful with it.”

harry types it out, and then turns his phone around. written under it, “friends are off limits.”

the two stay in the restaurant for an hour making the list. at the end, they’ve gone through six fortune cookies and three pots of green tea and have compiled a whopping forty five bullet points.

on the way back harry makes a wrong turn, or that’s what lynn thinks, and they end up in the parking lot of a 24 hour winn dixie.

"i thought i could get us more wine," he says. "and you could get some things to bake while we're here. we could make jane a birthday cake.”

"harry..."

he shrugs. "you don't have to. i just thought maybe you’d want to.”

she can't hold back her grin as they walk towards the aisle, and it makes harry smile, too. they stay in there for nearly an hour, and lynn can hear him muffling a yawn with his hand every so often, but harry never once complains.

when they’re finally back, harry carries all of the groceries inside while lynn unlocks the door. she changes into her pajamas and harry puts all the groceries into empty cabinets.

later, they’re both sitting in the living room, some random tv show playing quietly in the background. lynn felt like she has lived a hundred different lives today, yet the fact that the two are where they are now made every ounce of anger and every tear she’d worth it.

"drew," her voice is quiet when she speaks, a little scratchy from staying quiet for so long.

"what about him?"

"that's my middle name."

"you're kidding," the corners of harry’s mouth are upturned slightly, unsure if he should laugh or not.

she shakes her head. "my parents wanted a boy."

and really, they never wanted her. lynn was just the starting point of the biggest fuck up in their marriage. she held her mom back in her career, and was probably the only reason her parents even got back together in the first place.

"what's up, blondie?" harry’s looking at her with soft eyes.

"hm?"

"what're you thinking about?"

she hums for a second, debating if she should ruin this good place they just got to with her own mommy issues.

“just how badly i want to crawl into bed.”

harry stands up, and returns back with a pillow and blanket in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

“go,” he pushes the wine towards her. “i’ve got the couch.”

“thank you,” she takes the glass from his hand, weakly smiling at him, and he returns it with one of those smiles he gave jane that night in her playroom. it's bright and beautiful.

and more importantly, it's all for her.

24 JULY 2018

lynn starts her morning with her face in the toilet bowl. she really shouldn't have had that much wine last night, but she couldn't help herself. she was so incredibly tired, yet nothing was helping her fall asleep.

there's a soft knock at door, and lynn groans. her face is sticky and she's got it pressed against the ceramic of the sink trying to cool herself down.

"come in."

"oh, blondie," harry's pushing the door open. he's got a large cup full of ice water and the container of ibuprofen in his hand. "i didn't think you drank that much."

"had more after you went to sleep," she groans, hunching back over the toilet. "finished the second bottle and maybe half of the third."

"you should've woken me up," he sits next to her on the floor. his hands pull down her shirt to cover her exposed skin, and then run across her back as she gets sick again.

"gross," he reaches up to flush the toilet.

she scowls over at him, "at least you aren't covered in it."

his shoulders draw together, cringing at the thought. "not my best moment."

it's quiet between them as lynn lowers the lid of the toilet. her arms cross on top of it, and she rests her head on her arms, sighing at just how terrible she feels.

"feeling any better?" he reaches for her face, pushing her hair off of her sweaty forehead.

she shakes her head, and harry unscrews the cap of the ibuprofen. a few fall into his hand, and he nudges them past her lips, bringing the cup of water to her mouth after.

"thank you," she takes the cup from him, gulping half of it before setting it back down on the floor.

"why don't you get back in bed?"

"that stupid breakfast," she mutters. "can you start the shower when you leave?"

lynn finds harry sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. he's wearing a pair of black swim trunks and a yellow button up top. his sunglasses pushed his hair away from her face, and the whole room smelled like banana boat sunscreen.

she sighs before sitting in the chair to slip her sandals on. "ready?"

"are you sure you want to go?"

she shakes her head, "but we have to. i just want to get it over with."

the two walk to the resort restaurant holding hands. it feels almost corny to lynn. to be doing this when she's pushing thirty, but maybe that's just because she doesn't think she's ever seen her parents hold hands. they never really show affection.

jane squeals when she sees harry, jumping up from her spot at the table and running to cling to his leg.

"oh, sunflower," he bends down to pick her up, letting her sit on his hip. "i've missed you."

"you saw me the other day," her arms cross like she's mad at harry for forgetting.

"i know," he pinches her side. "i still missed you."

harry wraps his free hand around lynn's back, resting it on her hip and pulling her closer to the two, "no hello, jane?"

the little girl huffs, turning away from her sister. "you left me alone yesterday on the plane."

lynn goes to reply, but harry beats her to it, "m'sorry. i needed lynn to come with me, janey." his voice lowers. "i'm scared of planes."

jane gasps, hand flying to her mouth in a way that's so dramatic it has harry and lynn giggling.

"you're late lynn," her mother is sitting at the head of the table, eyes glancing at her watch.

"that's my fault, ms. kathleen," harry's putting jane back in her chair. "i wasn't feeling my best when i woke up."

kathleen doesn't respond, and lynn wraps her arms around amelia's neck, bending down to kiss her cheek to hide her growing smile.

harry and lynn sit across from each other, with a sister on either side of them. lynn scoots her chair closer to amelia, engaging in conversation about anything her sister wanted to talk about. she felt like the girl was pulling away from her now that she was getting older, and lynn found herself desperately wishing to go back to a year ago when melia would sit under the covers of her bed, spilling her innermost thoughts to her older sister.

she tried to keep her attention fully on amelia as she spoke, but lynn couldn't resist the urge to steal a glance at the two across from her every so often. jane usually had her hand in the air, waving around a green crayon triumphantly while harry had his face in his hands, quietly weeping over another lost game of tic tac toe.

"ugh, you're gushing over him," amelia whines. "you're not even listening."

"am not," lynn brings her mug up to her lips. "you were talking about how mr. fielder was being unfair with your last geometry quiz. he gave you a 72 and you think you deserve an 80."

"it was algebra," she rolls her eyes, turning her attention to her phone.

harry's looking over with furrowed brows and lynn shrugs, not really knowing why her sister seemed so upset with her. the only part she had gotten wrong was the type of math class. sue her.

when they're finished eating, kathleen and peter leave without saying a word, and lynn realizes they're stuck with amelia and jane. it was so like her mother to invite her just to play babysitter.

jane decides she wants to go to beach, so the two older girls follow while harry stops back at the condo to get everything he needed.

lynn's sitting on one of the lounge chairs, rubbing sunscreen into jane's skin when harry joins them again. he's got an overflowing beach bag on his shoulder, two of lynn's water bottles filled to the brim in one hand, and a book from her carry-on and her pair of forgotten sunglasses in the other.

god, he was a dream.

"why don't you rest?" harry sits down next to her, pulling jane's life vest from the bottom of the bag. "i've got them today."

"it's your vacation, too, harry. i can't-"

"please," he says. "take a break. you deserve it."

"okay," there's a small smile on her lips when she speaks, and it grows even more when harry leans in and asks if he can kiss her.

he doesn't though, even when lynn says yes. instead, he focuses on clipping jane's life vest and pulling the tabs to make sure it's tightened properly.

"all set, sunflower. are you coming, amelia?" the girl shakes her head, moving to sit on the lounger next to lynn's instead.

harry leans in and presses his lips against lynn's, just like he did in the parking lot of jane's recital. it's short and sweet and he pulls back just a little before kissing her again. and again. and again.

lynn's leaning back against the lounge chair and harry's chasing her, kissing her face wherever his lips could reach. she's laughing the kind of laugh that pinches in her side as she pushes her palms up to harry's lips, stopping his scruff from tickling her.

he kisses her palms once. twice. and then looks at her over her finger tips, mumbling something about being safe, and then he's gone, running to the water with jane's hand in his.

lynn's palms press against her cheeks, wondering if they were as hot as they felt. god, she was blushing.

she's about to open the bag to see what else harry had packed, but she hears her sister scoff next to her, and when she looks over, the younger girl is glaring.

"something wrong, amelia?"

"you're drinking again," she states. "i can see it. you're hungover."

"i'm twenty seven. i can have a hangover," lynn bites back the snippy remark she has on the tip of her tongue because she knows that what she did to amelia will probably forever be burned into her brain.

after her last relationship, she dropped out of college and moved home. she sat in bed everyday, staring at the wall. all of her friends were states away, and it didn't really matter anyway. he had isolated her so badly, the only thing she had to keep her company were her thoughts.

so she drank. because she needed them to stop. because she'd do anything for a few hours of peace and quiet.

some nights she drank so much she'd sleep throughout the entire next day and other times she'd have to move her mattress into the bathroom. lynn hasn't made herself sick in forever. today being an exception.

however, on her worst night, she blacked out, only coming to the next morning in a hospital bed. she had passed out on the stairs in her parents house, leaving a nine year old amelia to find her.

so if amelia was upset about her drinking, she understood. but lynn wasn't twenty one anymore. she went to therapy, she did the work, and she was better. if she wanted to have a few glasses of wine to unwind she would. she deserved it.

"you've only started drinking after you met him," she points out.

"not true, and this has nothing to do with him, mels. it isn't like last time. i promise."

amelia doesn't say anything. instead, she turns on her side away from lynn.

25 JULY 2018

harry blindly searches for his phone on the nightstand in the dark, his palm sliding against the smooth surface to no avail. he groans and rubs his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them before moving to look under the bed.

he finds his phone plugged into the charger on the bathroom counter, not really remembering how it got there. being in the sun all day had him sleeping so hard, he felt like he was still in a dream.

harry splashes some water on his face and looks in the mirror, suddenly becoming aware of just how thirsty he is. cupping his hand under the bathroom sink wasn't going to cut it. he needed the biggest glass of ice cold water he could find.

he moves into the living area, finding lynn sitting on the couch. the dim glow of the television lit up her face as she focused on reading the subtitles that flashed on the screen.

"hey," his voice is low and scratchy, and lynn jumps at the sudden sound. "can't sleep?"

she shakes her head. "not really. what about you?"

"woke up just absolutely parched."

lynn laughs under her breath and pats the couch cushion next to her. "sit. i've got it."

she's already standing, and harry thinks the long twenty step trek to the kitchen seemed so far, so he sits. there's an old rerun of the office on, and lynn's got the volume so low he can barely make out the words. harry wonders if it's like that because she didn't want to wake or because she didn't want him to know she was awake.

he turns up the volume before she sits down, a glass of water in one hand and what he assumes is a mug of tea in the other. harry thanks her, settling into the comfort of the couch.

"go to sleep. you're tired," she says against the lip of her mug, and harry wants to because he is exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about lynn sitting out here all by herself if he was went back into the room.

"and you're not?" he could tell she was just as tired as he was. probably even more. she spent the whole day soaking in the sun with a book in her hand. never once did he come out of the water to find her with her eyes closed.

"i am," her fingers reach for the remote to turn down the volume again. "i just have trouble sleeping sometimes."

"take the bed," lynn's quick to shake her head in protest. "i'm serious, blondie. i could knock out on the floor with a beach towel for a pillow. take the bed, please."

"m'not gonna sleep either way," she mumbles. "you might as well be comfy."

when she looks over at him, harry notices just how slowly she blinks. it's like she's in a daze, glassy eyes barely focusing when they're open. his hand rests on her ankle, thumb brushing over her skin, and she hums in response. he doesn't think she's slept since the plane ride two days ago.

"why don't we share the bed?" her eyes snap open, and she's looking at him like he's said something absolutely absurd. like he's crazy for even thinking the two of them could fit in the california king. "or we can sit out here and watch office reruns. i'm not picky."

"can we watch tv in bed?" she's got a lazy smile on her lips.

"sure," harry squeezes her ankle before helping her up.

when they get into the bedroom, lynn gets under the covers while harry goes to the bathroom to retrieve his phone and plug it into the outlet near the nightstand.

"shall we build one of those pillow walls or whatever they do in every rom com?" he's standing over the bed, stretching out his sore shoulders.

lynn laughs, head tilting back a little, and harry can't help the wave of satisfaction that washes over him because he has her laughing even though she's clearly miserable.

"are you saying you picture us as the two main characters in a rom com, harry styles?" she pats the spot next to her. "we've shared a bed before. shut out the light and get in."

harry's quick to turn the lamp off, wanting nothing more than to hide the flush of his face from the growing heat to his cheeks. he definitely didn't have a crush on her, but if she asked him to kiss her goodnight right now, he wouldn't really be opposed.

as soon as his face hits the pillow, harry feels his eyelids getting heavy. he's not sure if it was the sun or all the swimming around with jane clinging to his side, but he's certain he's never been so tired in his life.

"sorry, i just-" lynn's turning on her phone flashlight, illuminating the small room. harry hears her soft foot steps as she shuts the bedroom door, the click of a lock following right after. the light turns off, and harry feels the bed dip beside him again. "sorry."

"no reason to apologize, blondie."

it's quiet again, and harry feels himself dozing off even with the tv on. lynn keeps the sound down just like before, and opts for some subtitles instead.

"you can turn it up," he speaks with his eyes closed. "i could probably sleep through an explosion."

"s'for me. not you," harry's back is turned toward her, but he can hear the eye roll in her voice. "can't sleep with the sound on."

"right," because he definitely should've known that. how could he be so stupid?

harry doesn't mean to get annoyed with lynn. he really doesn't, but she is so fidgety. she's tossing and turning and rubbing her feet together under the covers. she bites the skin around her nails, and then drops her hands next to her in a way that has the entire bed moving.

and usually, harry would be able to sleep through every shake of the bed and every sigh that fell from her lips. during his freshman year, his roommate admitted to consistently fucking his girlfriend while harry slept soundly... on the bunk above them.

needless to say, he was a heavy sleeper. at least he thought he was. maybe he was having an off night, or maybe it was because lynn was the one sleeping next to him. he didn't really care to know which.

lynn gets up again. this time she decides to use the glow of the television instead of her flashlight. harry hears the click of the bedroom lock, and then shortly after the click of the deadbolt to the actual front door of the condo.

she comes back to the room, shutting and locking the door behind her, and then she twists the knob twice, ensuring it's locked.

he rolls over to face her, "got everything locked up?"

"yeah, i think so," she hums, and harry expects her to relax. maybe lean into the pillow and close her eyes. instead she bites the side of her thumb, and then, "maybe i should check again."

his arm comes out, pushing her back against the mattress. "i've got it."

harry stumbles out of the room, too tired to hold himself up properly. the weight of him has his shoulders slouching and his half closed eyes have him tripping over literal air. he checks the lock on the front door, and then goes to the kitchen to find the keys to it.

he slips them off of the key ring, and then stops before he gets back to the bedroom, running his fingers along the top of the door frame to search for the small key that usually sits on top of it.

he locks the bedroom door behind him, twisting the knobs twice, just like lynn did, and then he gets into bed and searches for her hand under the covers.

"here," harry presses the keys into her palm. "you've got the keys, lynn, everything's locked and no one's getting in."

"thank you," her voice is watery just like it was when she sat in his lap and fell apart the day prior. "the last time i was here was with him."

and harry doesn't really know who she's talking about. he assumes an ex, and feels a burn in his chest at the realization.

she missed him so much, she couldn't sleep.

he wonders if they've shared this bed before, too. if lynn clung to him with tears in her eyes on the couch. maybe he spent hours with her sisters, just so she could breathe for a second, just like harry did. kathy and peter probably loved the guy. harry bets he got more than a head nod when they all sat down for meals.

harry hums in response, too tired to try and form a sentence that doesn't come across like he's a little pissed off. there's no reason for him to be.

he stays awake for a bit longer, reading the subtitles off of the tv. when he notices lynn's breathing slowing, he looks over to see her eyes shut. harry closes his, melting into the mattress and finally falling asleep.

25 JULY 2018

harry thinks lynn is probably the heaviest sleeper in existence.

she's got her face pressed against the pillow, her mouth is open, and he is definitely watching her while she sleeps. it's not that he means to. really, he doesn't. he just doesn't think he's ever seen someone sleep so soundly in his entire life.

the truth is, if anyone deserves a good night's sleep, it's lynn. she was always so busy running between work and taking care of her sisters, and whatever time she did have left over was spent sitting at a dinner table with his parents or at a bar with gemma and drew. it was almost weird to see her without the little worry wrinkle that seemed to be permanently stamped between her eyebrows.

harry slips out of bed, making sure she's still tucked into the sheets in the process. he stops himself from leaning down and pressing his lips against the crown of her head because even his sleep-dazed brain knew that would be insanely crazy.

the coffee lynn had picked out a few nights prior at the grocery store is sitting on the counter, silently begging to be brewed. harry starts a pot for both of them to share, leaning against the counter as the machine hums and splutters as it starts to brew. a sigh pushes past his lips, and he decides that the ache in his chest was something more than leftover heartburn from last night's dinner.

he misses oliver so much.

maybe it's a little selfish, but he can't help but wish that it were oliver here with him instead. they'd probably spend lazy mornings in between the sheets before harry would reluctantly pull himself away to make oliver his favorite breakfast, hoping to get a hundred thank you kisses in return.

and then oliver would probably come out of their room freshly showered, with a smile so big sitting on his lips, it'd make harry's chest physically hurt just because he loved him so much. he'd press kisses to harry's shoulders and his neck and all the way up to his chin before finally kissing his mouth, parting with a quiet 'thank you'. oliver was always so appreciative, and harry thinks he’ll never love anyone as much as he loved the boy.

his daydream comes to an end when he sees lynn walking out of the bedroom with her hair all messy and pulled away from her face. she's still got her pajamas on and there's sleep in her eyes, evidently still tired from last night.

"how do you like your coffee?"

"just cream," lynn’s voice is raspy. "thanks."

she sits on one of the stools in front of him and he pushes the mug towards her before filling up another one with black coffee and setting it in front of himself.

he takes a sip, and then, "sleep good?"

"really good actually," she offers him a small smile. it's shy, almost like she's trying to hide it and stop it from growing any wider. harry’s decided that’s a tell that her smile is genuine. "i know you wanted to sit out today, but do you think you could sit with me in here for a bit after? just until i fall asleep."

"yeah, of course," he says. "yesterday wore me out. i could use a nap, too."

"perfect,” her mug sits at against her lips. “it’s a date, then.”

if it were up to harry, the two would spend the entire day locked away in the room and underneath all of the covers. he was exhausted, and he knew lynn was, too. she's sitting in front of him, eyes glued to her reflection in the marble counter, and she's not saying a word.

"your aunt cece is going to be at breakfast, right?"

lynn nods around a sip of coffee. "and aunt rosie. they got in last night."

"good," he says. "they're lovely."

"they are," lynn agrees. "it’s crazy to think that cece and my mom grew up in the same house."

and harry doesn't know if he should agree or not, but when they're all sitting at the beach after breakfast, he thinks he definitely does.

aunt cece is sitting on a lounger next to him while lynn plays in the water with her sisters. rosie is on the other side of her and peter and kathy are god knows where. it's quiet between the two at first, each just soaking up the sun, and then aunt cece turns her head to look at him.

"lynn told me that you're queer," aunt cece says. "sorry if that was forward of me."

harry doesn't really know what to say, or where exactly this conversation is going so he just nods and sits up a little straighter in his chair. "i am. it's not something i'm really open about though."

"if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering what your views on sexuality are," the older woman replies. "i'm a human sexuality professor. i'm not sure if lynn told you that, but i've been grading the last of these final exams, and i want to see what you think. would you say sexuality is black and white or more of a spectrum?"

"i think it would depend on the person," harry answers. "for me, i'd say more of a spectrum. when i'm with lynn, i feel more on the straight side. i don't know. it sounds stupid. my queerness is still there, but i feel like it's invisible almost to those around me and i think their perceptions affect the way i view myself, too. when i was with my ex boyfriend, it was the opposite. i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. i don’t mind either way.”

"told you, cecilia," rosie says from next to them. she's looking at her wife with such fondness in her eyes, it makes harry a little jealous.

"whatever," the other woman rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed before turning her attention back to harry. "most of my queer students said the same. i was wondering if it was just an age thing."

he tilts his head for a second because he's the same age as aunt cece's college students, but before he can ask what he means, she's opening her mouth again.

"why aren't you open about your sexuality?"

harry's not embarrassed of his queerness, and it's not something he outright hides. he doesn't really like to use the term "closeted" to describe himself, but he did only tell people he was completely comfortable with.

"i'm not ashamed if that's what you think," he replies. "it's my family. it's just easier if i keep that part tucked away."

"i'm sorry to hear that," the older woman is so sincere when she speaks. "there's always room for you in my family, harry. rose and i will always be just a phone call away, even if you and lynn aren’t together anymore."

"it's been forever since she's brought someone around," rosie leans forward. "i don't see you going away any time soon."

there's a burning in the back of his throat, and he's trying so hard not to let tears pool his eyes, "thank you."

aunt cece leans forward to squeeze his hand, and harry thinks it's about to be the final straw. the tears are about to start flooding.

"what'd you do to my boyfriend, aunt cece?" lynn's sitting down on the edge of his lounger. the salt water dripping from her hair feels so good on his skin. "got him all teary eyed."

"your aunt was just telling him how much we love having him around," rosie speaks for her wife.

"we do love having him around," jane joins them, digging in harry's bag to look for her sand bucket.

lynn's thumb brushes away the singular tear he lets fall before anyone else can see, and presses her lips against his temple. "you feeling okay?"

and he nods, leaning his head against her shoulder. he feels more than okay. harry thinks he's never felt so loved in his entire life.

and yet, every part of it is fake.

✮✮✮

"wanna go make out in the water?" lynn giggles at the warmth of harry's words against her skin, and turns her head over to look at him. he's got a lopsided smile on his face, and he moves hand to rest on top of hers, squeezing once. "we don't have to. i'm just kind of bored."

"and making out with me is more exciting than ogling half of chi omega?" she tips her head back, alluding to the group of fake blondes all stretched out across the loungers next to them.

"i'm only looking at you, blondie," she feels his words deep in her stomach and prays to god they don't reflect in her face. the two were laying on their towels in the sand, inches apart. he'd definitely be able to notice if a blush made its way to her cheeks.

she rolls her eyes, pulling her sunglasses down off of her head to let her hair try and hide her probably pink cheeks, and then she pushes herself up on to her knees, "are you coming or what?"

"can i come?" jane's moving in between them, her big, blue eyes looking up at harry. "please, harry."

"not today, janey," he squeezes just above the girl's elbow, the devastation evident in her face. "tomorrow, though. i promise."

jane sighs, but doesn't press further. instead she sulks back over to her aunts, stopping to pick up any seashells she could use to decorate her castle on the way.

they walk into the water together and lynn wets her hair, pushing it out of her face and moving her sunglasses back up to hold it in place.

"alright. how should we do this?"

harry laughs. he's got his sunglasses over his eyes, but the way his dimples pop out has lynn guessing that his eyes are shining, too. it reminds her of luke’s sunshine smiles. harry’s are different though. the warmth and happiness are so obvious across his entire face. he practically embodied sunshine.

"you're making it sound like a chore, lynn."

"am not."

and really she wasn't. she was trying her best to not explode with excitement. she'd never tell harry, his ego was big enough as it is, but he was a good kisser, and she's been thinking about the way his mouth felt against hers ever since that night at his apartment.

"come closer," he reaches for her, pulling her into him. his lips press against her hairline, and then they disappear. "gotta warm up to it."

"i'm a bit out of practice," she admits. "don't laugh if i'm bad."

"never," she rests her head on top of his shoulder, feeling the words in his chest as he speaks. "this is just supposed to be fun, blondie."

"right," she hums. "just fun."

"just fun," he repeats it again, voice barely above a whisper. she leans back so she can look at him, and he's got a small smile sitting on his lips. he kisses her face, right next to the corner of her mouth. "this okay?"

"yeah," she hums, and he does it again. "s'good."

harry trails his lips down to under her chin, kissing along her jaw until he meets the skin just below her ear. then she feels it. the way his teeth gently scrape against the sensitive area.

"alright," her hand pushes his face away, but his arm still keeps her against him. "you're just teasing me, now."

"oh, yeah? bet you've been thinking about this since the last time. haven't you?" the words send heat right to her cheeks, and this time she doesn't care to hide it.

"whatever helps you sleep at night," she pinches his bottom lip between her fingers, soothing the skin with the pad of her thumb when she lets go.

his teeth nip at her thumb before she pulls it away with a giggle, "wait, don't i help you sleep at night?"

"oh whatever," she's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. it reminds her of when she watched him playing with jane, and the way the little girl was smiling so big. she wishes they could've had this kind of relationship from the beginning.

"y'gonna kiss me already?" he squeezes her hip. "or am i gonna have to do all the work?"

"mmm," she hums. "i am kind of tired."

harry pushes her chin up with his finger before pressing his lips to hers. they're warm, and firm and harry always kisses her like he's trying to prove something.

she feels his tongue on her bottom lip, and she squeezes her mouth together for no other reason than to annoy him. "c'mon, lynn. don't be like that."

"y'taste gross," her nose scrunches, and it's true, he did.

harry opens his eyes, keeping his forehead pressed against hers. "i just had a beer."

"exactly," lynn hated the taste. (but if harry were to keep kissing her like how he is now, she would definitely look past it.)

"sorry my mouth can't be as sweet as yours," he drags his thumb across her lips. "all those rum punches, hm?"

lynn let's harry have his way with her mouth. he's sucking and biting and running his tongue against hers, and she is just taking it. soaking it all up. it's been forever since she's been kissed like this and she feels a little selfish when all she offers him is a few lazy sucks on his lips.

his fingertips press into the back of her thighs, and she pulls away, shocked at the feeling. harry was a touchy person, but he seemed like he knew his limits.

"you're getting a little too handsy," she warns. "don't piss me off and ruin our fun just yet."

he simply lifts his hands, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"m'not trying to feel you up, just wanna make it a little easier f'you,” he kisses her chin. “and for me. that angle fucking sucked.”

she rolls her eyes, arms coming to drape around his neck. lynn's looking down at him now, and she lets her lips lightly brush across his face just to tease him. harry's lips are red and swollen, and she runs her thumb across them, smearing the saliva into his soft skin.

"they're looking," she whispers, looking over at the group of girls they were laying out by before.

"your family? that's kind of the whole point."

"no," she hums. "your new friends."

"yeah," harry rolls his eyes. "and they're watching me put my tongue in your mouth. jealousy is not a very good look on you, blondie."

lynn closes the space between them, actually kissing him with effort. she works his mouth just like he was doing to her minutes ago. she sucks and bites and presses their lips so hard together she thinks that they're going to be bruised in the morning.

she feels a little confident when she lets her hands slide into his hair, tugging just enough to pull his mouth away from hers. there's a groan in his throat when she does, and he tries best to hide it, but lynn's already heard it and now her fun was ruined.

"sorry, what's not a good look on me?"

"marry me," harry breathes out.

lynn laughs lightly, resting over his shoulder and wrapping her arms and legs around him tighter. she sighs, and harry runs his fingers along her back while his lips press into her hair.

"ready for our nap?"

"showers and then a nap," she corrects, silently thanking whatever god would listen that harry could let whatever just happened between them go just as quickly as she could. "im not letting you get the bed all sandy."

"whatever you want, honey," he hums, starting to walk out of the water with lynn still in his arms.

"don't call me that," she leans back to look at him, drawing her brows together like she was annoyed. really, she was fighting whatever urge came bubbling up in her throat that had her wanting to ask him to say it again.

"why not? you're sweet like honey."

"i miss when you hated me," lynn sighs, letting herself fall limp against him again.

"never hated you, lynn." she tries to ignore the way his words make her feel warm all over.

"c'mon," she lets her legs down, standing on the dry sand. "let's just grab our stuff and go. they'll think we're going to have crazy sex and it'll buy us a few hours of peace and quiet."

✮✮✮

lynn wakes up to harry moving her hair away from her face. he's propped up on his elbow, fingers brushing over her skin just as lightly as the way her name leaves his lips.

"hey," harry murmurs. "sleep good?"

"so good," she hums, turning on her side to face him. "please tell me you're not eating crackers in our bed."

"m'eating them on my side," he says. "want one?"

"no." she tries to suppress a yawn, arms coming up over her head to stretch. "c'mon. we've got dinner. make sure there's not a single crumb in these sheets."

the two share the bathroom as they get ready together. lynn braids her knotty hair away from her face while she watches with jealousy as harry does nothing but push a pair of sunglasses into his. when it's time to change, he graciously gives her the bathroom, and waits for her to invite him back in.

he comes in wearing a pair of khaki pants with a blue shirt tucked into them, and lynn feels incredibly underdressed. he always looked so proper and pulled together when they had something to do, meanwhile she always looked like she grabbed the first thing she could reach in her closet and didn’t have enough time to check herself in the mirror before leaving.

she had chosen a yellow sundress tonight. she thought it was cute and flowy when she had bought it a year ago, but now she can't help but think that the way some of the fabric stretches around her body has her resembling what she would assume a freshly plucked big bird would look like after working a grueling twelve hour shift in a sesame street high rise.

lynn's stepping back, fingers smoothing down the fabric when she catches harry's eyes in the mirror. he's got a mouth full of toothpaste and his face is pulled together. "y'look beautiful, lynn," he mumbles around his tooth brush. "always do."

she's not really convinced, but her cheeks warm nonetheless, and she pulls her eyes away from harry's before offering him a smile and the sincerest of thank yous.

lynn moves to the living room to wait for harry to finish up and spends the entire ten minutes debating if she should change. she loves the dress, and really, if she were wearing it anywhere but here, there would be no second thoughts about it. lynn just knew that whatever kathleen had to say about it would be forever etched in her brain and the dress would probably find its way into a goodwill pile when she got back.

harry joins her changed out of his perfect outfit. he's wearing a pair of shorter black shorts and the yellow button up he was wearing the other day instead.

lynn isn't really sure what to say or if she should say anything at all, but he only smiles at her before slipping his shoes on and asking if she's ready to go.

"why'd you'd change?" she caves when they're inside the restaurant.

he shrugs. "thought we could match. i don't know. i felt over dressed in what i had on."

she hums in response, and harry wraps his arm around her waist as they get closer to her family's table. she feels his fingers pinch the fabric at her waist, and then, "plus you look like sunshine in this dress. it would've been a crime to ask you to match my blue."

"oh, knock it off," she bumps her hip into his. "you're so corny today."

lynn expects him to knock her back with double the force, just like he did the first day she met him. instead, he only tugs her closer to him, muttering something about just how serious he is against the shell of her ear before pulling her chair out for her at the table.

"new dress?" kathleen speaks, and the way she's look at lynn makes her stomach twist.

harry only hums, fingers squeezing her shoulders as he stands behind her. "looks absolutely gorgeous, doesn't she, ms. kathy?"

aunt cece coos at the pair, pinching lynn's knee under the white tablecloth, and harry's got his lips pressed against her temple, ignoring jane's pleas begging him to sit next to her from the other end of the table. instead, he asks amelia to switch with him so he can sit with lynn, and the girl is more than happy to, considering that all lynn seems to do is piss her off with nothing but her presence.

aunt cece starts up a conversation with the two, but lynn only keeps herself involved with perfectly timed hums of acknowledgement while harry does all of the talking. she felt bad, but all she could think about was the fact that the boy that reminds her of sunshine happens to think the same about her in her new favorite dress.

26 JULY 2018

lynn’s sitting next to harry in a lounger while her sisters play mermaids in the pool. usually, amelia would do absolutely anything to get out of the game, but it was jane’s birthday and it happened to be her only ask. lynn would have definitely offered to relieve her sister of her duties, but jane currently had amelia sitting on the ledge of the pool while she threw a ball at her, calling it mermaid hunting.

so instead, lynn happily sits with a book in one hand while her other hand lightly traces every line and crease on the back of harry’s, only picking up her finger when it’s time to turn the page. she started doing it just to annoy him, but harry didn’t seem to care. he only reclined his lounger a little and moved his hand to rest on lynn’s so she didn’t have to reach across them.

lynn woke up this morning with harry’s face pressed against the crook of her neck and his palm resting against her abdomen. she’ll blame the next part on the fact that she was still half asleep, but she laid there with her eyes closed, soaking up every second of their closeness before harry woke up and gently pulled himself from her. she thought about mentioning the whole thing over their morning coffee, but she didn’t want him to think she was crazy for letting it happen and more importantly, she didn’t want to ruin the chances of that ever happening again.

she was touch deprived. sue her.

“do you want kids someday?” harry asks. he’s got his free arm over his forehead, blocking the sun from his eyes as he looks at lynn.

“probably not,” lynn answers honestly. “i’ve got these two.”

“but you don’t want any of your own?”

lynn pauses for a second before answering, letting her book fall against her chest. it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids of her own because there is definitely a small piece of her that sometimes daydreams of white picket fences and tiny hand prints on glass doors, but that small sliver is overshadowed by the overwhelming fear of not being good enough. she doesn’t really know how to say i’m scared i’ll never learn to love my children the same way my mother never loved me without ruining their sunny pool day.

so, instead she settles for a, “it’s not really important to me. what about you?”

harry shrugs. “dunno. i’ve never really thought about it until now. i think i’m still too young.”

lynn can’t help but laugh at him for saying he feels too young. nearing thirty had her feeling everything but that, and it was crazy how harry felt the opposite.

he tilts his head to the side as she laughs, and lynn’s about to ask why he’s got that look on his face, but the ball jane has been throwing interrupts them, hitting harry right in the mouth.

“oh fuck,” harry curses under his breath.

"jane!" lynn sits up straight, practically screaming at the little girl. "you have got to be careful."

"it's okay, lynn,” harry’s words are muffled by his hand. “really, i’m fine.”

"what do you say to him?" her jaw is clenched and her fists are balled so tightly in her lap. if she were to open them, there’d be little moon indentations on the bottoms of her palms.

"i'm sorry, harry,” jane looks away when her voice wobbles. “i didn't mean to."

"i know, sunflower. it was an accident, wasn't it?" harry speaks so softly as he gently rolls the ball back to the little girl. lynn can’t understand how he wasn’t absolutely seething.

jane nods as her tears spill over and harry’s quick to tell her not to worry about it. accidents happen.

"let me see," her attention moves to harry, catching the crimson trail that started to flow down his chin. "oh, harry. let me clean that for you.”

she doesn’t give him time to respond before pulling him up by his elbow. lynn makes amelia swear to not let jane out of her sight before she leads harry all the way back to their condo. he sits on the arm of the chair in the living room and waits while lynn retrieves a rag and an ice cube from the freezer.

"i'm so sorry, harry," lynn's voice is soft, just like her touch is when her fingers brush under his chin, tilting it up to get a better look at his lip.

“you didn’t have to yell at her like that, you know?” and she knew harry was right. the contrast between her tone with jane and her tone now was like night and day. she knew it was an accident, but she was nervous that harry would be upset with her for not scolding her sisters when they did something wrong.

harry winces when she adds a bit of pressure to the cut, and when lynn feels him move away from her, she has to blink back the tears that are threatening to spill over.

the last time she was here, lynn had brought her ex boyfriend. their relationship has already been hanging on by a thread, and she thought that a romantic beach getaway was exactly what they needed to save it.

and it worked for the first half of the trip. he was so affectionate towards her. so gentle. lynn felt so loved, and so incredibly safe.

then amelia spilled a cup of water on his lap, and he screamed at her in a way that had his chest heaving and face turning red. he was so upset with her and with lynn. the whole trip was ruined and lynn went to sleep nearly every night with a raspy voice and a raw throat from hours of consoling amelia and crying so hard she couldn't breathe.

"hey," he pulls on her waist, bringing her to sit on his knees. "i didn’t mean it like that. what's got you so worked up over this, hm?"

"i'm not worked up."

"lynn," harry's hand covers her own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles as she keeps the ice pressed against his lip. "you're all teary eyed and you're breathing funny."

"you're bleeding, harry. i don't know how you're not raging."

"it was an accident," his hands move to wrap around her middle. "and she's six. i wouldn't really care if she did it on purpose either."

"yeah? you promise?"

"i promise, lynn." he's looking at her with such sincerity on his face, it makes her shoulders fall with relief.

“i guess i was just scared that you’d yell at her,” she admits. “i knew she’d take it better from me.”

“i didn’t know you thought so low of me.” she can’t tell if he’s being serious or only joking with her, but she can’t stop the corners of her mouth from turning upwards. that would have been low of him, and she’s glad he agrees.

“forgive me,” she decides to turn it into the latter, a teasing smile on her face. “how can i ever make it up to you?”

"hm,” he bends his finger, signaling for her to lean closer. "maybe a kiss."

lynn quickly decides she doesn't want to point out the fact that her family was nowhere near them. they were alone, and knowing that made her want to kiss him even more. maybe a little part of her wished it was real.

so, she gives in, pressing her lips gently to the corner of his mouth. "feel better?"

"i think the doctor prescribed two.”

"you're pushing it, styles.”

"i know," the pad of his thumb ghosts over her lips. "just missing your mouth."

the words make her stomach turn in way that has her leaning down to kiss him again in hopes of hearing them again. lynn can’t help but wish harry’s lip wasn’t bleeding because she’d definitely let him explore every inch of her mouth with his own.

what had gotten into her?

"consider me healed,” he hums.

"you are," she swipes the ruined rag across his lip one more time for good measure. "no more bleeding."

✮✮✮

"this is so unfair to her," harry feels lynn's words against his shoulder. when he turns to look at her, she's got her eyes focused on jane who's messily eating the chocolate cake he had spent hours decorating to resemble a sunflower.

when he placed the cake in front of her, a huge grin spread across her face, and harry was certain her eyes were glowing brighter than the six candles placed in the center. she pressed her palms to her cheeks, and an excited squeal left her mouth, followed by a hundred 'i love it and i love you's.

"what is?"

"this," her hand moves between them. "us. she loves you, harry."

"everyone loves me," he jokes, but the way lynn's looking at him lets him know that she's not in a joking mood after all.

it’s no secret that harry has an incredibly hard time reading lynn. he failed calculus twice in college, but the course was a thousand times easier than figuring out just how she was feeling inside. she was normally cool and put together, only letting harry see through the cracks of the walls she had built up when everything became a little too much for her to handle.

being here must be hard for her because she lets him see more and more of her everyday. the lynn he met two months ago wouldn't have sat on his lap and cried because his lip was bleeding. no, she would've told him to grow the fuck up and take care of it himself.

now she's sharing an oversized chair with him, knees draped over his. her eyes are misty, and the corners of her mouth are turned upwards into a watery smile as she watches her family from across the patio. he felt so fucking terrible for her.

"i'm not going to be able to walk away from them the way you think i am," his voice is quiet, and he's rubbing soothing circles on her knee. "you shouldn't be worrying about things so far in the future anyway."

"we never talked about any of this stuff, harry," the intensity of her voice matches his, but it’s laced with urgency. almost like the thought of so many unanswered questions has her on the verge of panicking. "when are we going to break up? why are we even going to? how? what's going to happen when jane-"

"blondie, take a breath," he reaches to smooth her hair away from her face, thumbs stretching to wipe away the overflowing tears under her eyes. "we can decide all of that later. why don't we just have fun now?"

"because this is just going to hurt the two people i care about most."

"we'll stay friends," harry decides. "i'll say i realized i'm only attracted to men, and you can get all of the brownie points that come with loving me and supporting me through all of that."

"you're not just going to walk away when all of this is over?"

"of course not," and he wouldn’t dream of it, but he can’t help but think about the fact that if she were to have asked him a month ago, his answer would've been completely different. he's not sure exactly what changed, but harry would be more than a little sad if he never saw lynn again.

"good," she rests her forehead against his shoulder. "i don't think i could handle you going. i care about you too much."

"is that the four dirty martinis from dinner talking?"

"probably, but it’s true," she looks up at him, a smug smile growing on her face. "they’re also telling me that it would be a fantastic idea to have a little kiss right here in front of everyone.”

"oh, we most definitely can’t say no to that, can we?"

nearly every time they've kissed, they've simply just gone for it. maybe they'd warm up with a peck here and touch there, but within a matter of seconds, harry was sucking on lynn's lips like his life depended on it. to be honest, he really couldn't help it. her mouth was always so sweet.

this kiss was different though. lynn had leaned in to him, her fingers pressing into the back of neck to get him close enough to feel her exhales fanning across his mouth.

she stopped there though, not daring to move a centimeter closer for a moment. her eyes fell to his lips before slowly trailing back up to meet his eyes, and then she giggled in a way that sounded so light and happy, harry felt it deep in his stomach.

her lips brushed against his delicately, and he wasn't really sure if they were even there.

"blondie-"

"you've got a bad lip, harry," and then there was another soft kiss. "gotta be gentle."

harry had every intention of listening to her because she was right. the last thing he wanted was for his stupid busted lip to start bleeding and ruin all of their fun. he thought that maybe they'd share a few short kisses and then join the rest of her family before going to bed for the night.

and that is exactly how it starts. there's a lazy kiss, and then two, and then lynn's pulling away to meet harry's eyes before wrapping both her arms around his neck. he's leaning against her with one arm wrapped around her waist and the other pushing deep into the arm of the chair to support all of their weight.

their kisses are long and eager, and he can feel the warmth from the pit in his stomach travel all the way up through his chest and out to his finger tips with each one. his palms are way too sweaty and it feels like his heart’s beating fast enough to push him through the last four hundred meters of a marathon. god, it's been forever since someone's made him feel this way.

the whole scene is definitely far too inappropriate to be occurring in front of lynn's entire family, but he can't seem to stop and neither can she. she's even greedy with it. every time harry pulls away to catch some air, she immediately follows, bringing his lips back to hers. her kisses are messy and frantic, but harry doesn't think he's ever had someone be so soft and easy with him in his entire life.

lynn breaks the kiss, but she keeps her forehead pressed against harry's, holding him against her like she’s scared he’ll run away. she keeps her eyes closed for a second, and harry shamelessly uses it to let his eyes sweep across her face. her lips are red and messy and kissed, and her cheeks are flushed and pink, matching the warmth radiating from her body.

with a heavy breath, she looks up at him with her big, blue eyes, and the sight would definitely have harry collapsing at his knees if he were standing up right. he can feel the way her chest heaves against his own. the way her fingers slide from his neck to his shoulders. the little puffs of air that come from her when she giggles again. he was so fucked.

“fun, wasn’t it?”

"lynn," it's breathy. he really isn't sure how to word it, so he pauses for a moment, scanning her face for any indication that what’s sitting on the tip of his tongue will ruin the relationship they worked so hard on building. "i-"

"there's the birthday girl," both of their heads shoot up to see silas standing near the staircase to the patio with a duffle bag at his feet and a stack of neatly wrapped presents in his hand.

lynn jumps up to greet him, and silas rushes to her in a manner that seems a little more than friendly. he wraps his free arm around lynn's waist just like harry had been doing seconds prior, and lifts her off her feet to spin her in a circle.

"and my favorite girl," his voice is low and meant for only lynn to hear, but the words fall on harry’s ears, too.

harry watches as lynn grins and wraps herself around silas's arm before dragging him to the rest of her family. jane squeals, her sunflower cake long forgotten just like harry was in the garden chair. the entire family crowds around silas, hugging him and kissing his cheeks, and harry knew that no matter how many times lynn curled up in his lap with tears welling up in her eyes, he would never be able to compare to silas.

✰✰✰✰✰

a/n: okaaay all reformatted :D part five will be posted sunday! (maybe monday)

#harry styles #harry #harry styles fic #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #dadrry #if you squint #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x oc #harry styles fluff #harry's house #fine line #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #artist!harry #fake dating #fake relationship

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daydreaming-in-letters · 2 years

Text

Special

11/16/2022

Pairing: Andrew (Hozier) x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,500

Warnings: rpf, language, mentions of alcohol, slightly smutty daydreaming, mentions of online dating disasters, slander, pining, mentions of past heartbreak, fluff

Summary: Andrew has been secretly in love for a long time. Will he finally find it in himself to confess his feelings to his beloved?

A/N: It took me quite a while to finish this, but it was important to me that I did. I've been struggling with my writing for some time now and maybe it shows. Still, this one is special to me and one of the most personal stories I have ever written.

Picture by Joshua Newton via Unsplash (edited)

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. No permission is given to copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

Andrew could feel the cold creeping up on him from behind his back. What had been supposed to be the last night of summer had turned out to be the first night of autumn instead. Probably sensing the crisp bite of nightfall approach, someone had lit a fire hours ago, back when the sun had still been powerful enough to deceive the rest of them for a little longer. The oak logs, now turned into embers of glowing red, still gave off enough heat to keep the whole group outside way past midnight. Not that he would have needed the fire to keep him warm though. Her sight was more than sufficient to drive away the chill in an instant and provide him with enough heat to turn his cheeks pink whenever his eyes lingered for too long and his thoughts began to wander.

He could have easily sat through the night without their bonfire if only she was there with him. He had to admit though that the fire suited her well, unveiling her full beauty to him once again in all its splendour, like the day he had finally realised he was in love with her.

Dark shadows and golden lights danced across her face, caressing her soft skin with the tenderness of a lover’s touch. With every flicker of the flames, the glossy sheen of her painted lips twinkled enticingly, as if he would have needed the sight to remind him of the countless times he had yearned to taste them. What drew him in most though were her eyes, they always did. But it was here, in the glow of the fire, that they shone like they did only in the rarest of moments, when she allowed her feelings to breach the surface of her usually so reserved demeanour.

The fact that he hadn’t seen her in quite a while only added to the effect she had on him. It must have been a good year ago, but the memory was still as vivid as if it had only been a few days. Andrew would never forget the darkness he had seen in her eyes that day. And he would never forgive the one who had put it there. The one she had called her lover back when lightning had first pierced Andrew’s defenceless heart. The one that sat right here by the fire among all their friends, like Judas among the apostels. Maybe even worse.

With the heed of each and every single one of Argos’ ninety-nine waking eyes, Andrew had watched them all night, searching for even the slightest signs of discomfort on her side, or worse, of phoenix rising from the ashes, but so far nothing alarming had passed between them.

Andrew had always admired former lovers who were able to turn failed romance into friendship, but seeing these two on friendly terms, watching her laugh about his witless jokes as if he hadn’t almost broken her heart beyond repair, made him seriously reconsider the veracity of that belief.

“Oh come on, not again,” someone broke his train of thought with their whiny complaint about the empty cooling bag. “I’m not going all the way up into the kitchen again to fetch you lazy fuckers more booze.”

Immediately more and more voices joined in, eager not to leave their comfortable spots by the fire and walk through the cold and dark of the garden—all but one, and he knew even before her lips had parted that she would take it upon herself to get the supplies from inside the empty house.

“All right,” she uttered with a soft sigh as she stood, “someone hand me the bag. I’ll go.”

Too quick for his brain to catch up on the movement, Andrew found himself on his feet as well and lunged towards the bag, beating her to it without any effort thanks to his long legs.

“I’ll come with you.”

He had feared she would protest, fastening his grip on the handle just in case she would try to yank it out of his hand while telling him she was plenty able to find the way to the fridge by herself. But she didn’t. Instead she just smiled up at him before her lips formed a silent thank you and Andrew was very grateful that his feet somehow remembered how to move on their own.

All evening a thousand questions he wanted to ask her had spiralled through his head. How was she doing? Had life treated her kindly since he had last seen her? God, he hoped it had. Still a part of him wished that didn’t extend to her love life as well and even though he knew it was childish to hope that her heart was still unclaimed because he wanted to make a home in it himself, he did.

But he probably never would. Especially not since telling her about the feelings he had nursed for so long seemed impossible if he wasn’t even able to start a simple conversation now that they were alone. Maybe it was for the best though, seeing that she obviously wasn’t too keen on starting a conversation either.

It hadn’t always been like this, awkward and unfamiliar, as if they had never talked whole nights through, deeply lost in their own tiny universe where everything orbited around music, poetry, literature, mythology, politics, philosophy and all the other topics the rest of the gang found too profound for a night of drinking and light entertainment. He had lived for those moments, loved to pick her marvellous brain until, if only for a brief point in time, he was able to see the world through her eyes.

And now he was standing here like a bloody fool, holding the bag for her in silence while she loaded bottle after bottle of cold brew into it. She was so close to him, her unique fragrance filling his senses every time she stirred the air between them when she turned. It was almost completely blanketed by the sharp stench of smoke. Almost. But not to him. He had memorised her scent like his favourite song, ready to recall every single note of it from memory even after all this time. Yet he seldomly allowed himself to do so. It made him careless, made his mind wander off to a place in which he imagined how she would feel, skin on skin. He wondered if she would taste just as good, her salty-sweet aroma still fresh on his tongue as their bodies became one in heated passion. He longed to feel her breath crawling up his neck as she moaned his name in pleasure, yearned to be wrapped tightly in the warmth of her—

“Andrew?”

The touch of her fingers gently pulled him from his fantasy, away from her and still back to her, back into the bleak reality of the kitchen with its buzzing fridge and cold neon lights.

“Huh?” he muttered sheepishly, his brain still unable to form a coherent sentence after what it had just dreamed up.

His irritation seemed to amuse her, a soft giggle breaking through her concern for a split second before she became serious again.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Sure.” He tried his best to sound convincing, but he knew she could read him like a book and so he was quick to add, “How about you?”

“Me? I’m not the one who zoned out for a moment.”

“True.” He smiled down at her, warm and soft. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” For the blink of an eye the smile she had shot him in return faltered, and when it steadied on her lips again, it wasn’t quite the same anymore. “I’m good. Fine, actually. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I just thought…you know…with him being here and all…”

“Ah, I see.” Her hand found his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before gliding down the length of it and Andrew thought he could feel her touch in his very bones. “It’s very sweet of you to worry about me, but there’s really no need to. After all it was a mutual split.”

Actually, he remembered their breakup a little differently, but if this was the narrative she had chosen to hold onto, he wouldn’t be the one to crush it for her. But when she pulled her hand away from his, it was her who felt the need to correct that statement.

“Okay, maybe the split itself wasn’t that mutual, but I know now that we had it coming for a long time. And I’ve made my peace with it.”

“That’s good to hear.” Andrew felt the awkward silence lure in the darkness that awaited outside the kitchen and still he needed another moment to gather the courage to ask the one question his heart feared the most and was still desperate to find the answer to. “So…um…are you…is there someone new in your life?”

“God no!” He hadn’t expected that reaction at all and even though he didn’t find his fears confirmed, there was something about her eyes and the tone of her voice that made his heart heavy for her. “I put that hope to rest rather quickly after I started online dating.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Part of him truly was because no matter how much he had wished for her to be single, he would never have wanted it to come at the cost of more hurt.

“No, don’t be. Some of the shit I’ve been through is actually quite amusing in retrospect. Come on, I’ll tell you a few stories on the way back.”

It had taken them quite a while before they could hear the laughter from the fireplace drift over to them again. They had stopped a few times on the way, mostly because he had temporarily forgotten how to walk in the face of the things she had told him. But no matter how he looked at it, amusing was far from the word he would use to describe most of the things she had endured. Disbelief had alternated with rage up to a point that he himself felt awful for even sharing the same sex with this scum.

After what he had just learned, Andrew couldn’t blame her for losing faith in love, not in the least. If anything, he was surprised how well she seemed to handle everything she had been through. In his eyes it was more than admirable. Of course he had known before that dating was seldomly an easy thing, but until now he had never realised what risks it held for women in a world almost entirely shaped by men.

“Promise me you won’t tell the others, okay? I wouldn’t want them to know. Especially not…”

Despite the darkness he could see her eyes shimmer with embarrassment. What for, he didn’t know. She had nothing to blame herself for.

“Of course. I promise. Cross my heart.”

A slender finger moved across his chest in two strokes to support his words and his childlike gesture made her smile. He had hoped it would. What he hadn’t anticipated however was her next move, and as her palm found the very spot he had just marked with a cross, his heart sank into his feet. There was nothing he could do to prevent it from speeding up, forced to stand and watch her catch on to it any second now while he felt its powerful drum underneath the thin layer of skin that covered his neck.

“So, you still seem to get along with Y/N exceptionally well. Any chances for a reunion then?”

Her hand fell away, his fear of getting caught forgotten immediately, when she turned towards the voices. The little group that sat around the fire was still veiled from view by a few thick bushes, but the teasing tone was enough to imagine the grin on the talker’s face. Andrew and the woman by his side were far from grinning though.

“Not in a million years. We split for a reason, you know.”

“Yeah, I totally understand. She’s kind of…special.”

“You can say that again.”

Even in the dim light that reached their hiding spot from the fire, Andrew could see her face fall. Fascinated and petrified alike by the myriad of emotions that flickered in the treacherous gleam of her eyes, he wished he could do anything but watch disaster unfold right in front of him. He might have thought of something, anything, had he known that they were far from finished with their humiliating ordeal.

“Might be the reason online dating isn’t going too well for her.”

“Honestly, I can’t say that comes as a real surprise.”

The conversation was far from over, but Andrew didn’t care anymore. All he cared about was the pair of wide eyes that seemed to stare right into the darkness of the cosmos as her body stumbled back a few steps.

“Y/N?”

The bag fell into the grass with a thud, the bottles inside clinking dangerously, but all he heard was her trembling voice that mumbled an absentminded excuse.

“I…I’m really tired. I should probably head home.”

And with that she just turned, the hint of an apologetic smile on her face, and let the shadows swallow her. For a second he just stood there, frozen in place by the rising panic inside of him, until the faint noise of a shaky breath carried over to him on the breeze.

“Wait.”

But she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. And why would she? He had done nothing to stop those eejits from their slander and he couldn’t blame her for assuming it was because he secretly agreed with them.

“Y/N, stop.”

His feet had begun to move at last, hurrying after her as fast as the slippery grass allowed until he could make out her silhouette only an arms-length away and reached for her.

“Please stop.”

His voice was soft, but his hold on her wrist wasn’t. He couldn’t let her walk away from him, not like this. Not before he had told her—

But the moment she turned to face him, the words died away in his throat as he took her in in the faint moonlight, two watery lines cascading down her cheeks like streams of stars. Words would not be enough to make them stop. It was foolish, a gesture born from sheer helplessness in the face of his beloved’s despair, but there was no falter in his hands when he pulled her in and sealed her lips with his own.

It wasn’t at all what he had hoped their first kiss to be like. But at least for a second he could feel her return it, her hands coming up to his chest, fisting the thick denim of his jacket, before she pushed him away.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

His honest bewilderment seemed to be completely lost on her. Instead her chin began to tremble dangerously.

“Don’t be kind to me because I’m sad. Your pity just confirms they are right.”

“Pity? You think this was a gesture of pity?”

Her silence was answer enough and Andrew could see her retreat into her shell again. Soon, she would once more shoot him that apologetic smile and flee the scene, without ever knowing that in this very moment, pity was the last thing he felt for her.

“What about this then?”

This time, he knew exactly what he was doing. Fully prepared to be pushed away again, to be yelled at or be slapped in the face, he leaned down. Gentle fingers cupped her cheek and he took it as a good sign that she didn’t shy away from his touch. He waited, one last moment for her to stop him, but she didn’t, and so he closed the last gap between them.

This was what it should have been like the first time. Soft and tender, full of affection, every fibre of his being filled with her until he didn’t know anymore where he ended and she began. Through the haze of his rapture he faintly noticed the soft press of her body against his, unwavering arms wrapping around his neck, and he pulled her closer, securing her in his arms while she moaned her sweet approval into his mouth.

He could have kissed her like this forever, but he still had a point to prove, a statement to make, and so he pulled away.

“Still think this was a pity kiss?” he panted against her lips and when her answer didn’t come, he pulled away further to look at her. He had hoped to be met with the familiar warmth of her eyes, but he found her gaze fixed on his jacket instead, where she watched her own hands adjust his collar.

“Even if it was—”

“It wasn’t.”

“Still,” she paused for a second, “what they say is true.”

“So? What’s wrong with being special?”

“I think we both know they didn’t mean special in a good way.”

Andrew sighed as his palm found her cheek again. “Maybe they didn’t.” He gently tilted her head and waited patiently until she finally decided to look at him. “But I do. I mean it in the best way possible when I say you’re special to me, Y/N. They may be right, you are complicated. But aren’t we all in our own way? That’s how nature has created us, as absolutely unique individuals, beautifully complicated. None of them may understand this, measuring you by society’s grotesque norms instead, but to me you are easy to love.”

“Andy, I…”

“It’s okay, love. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same about me. I just wanted you to know.”

This was it. He had said what he had wanted to say. Now she would try her best to be gentle in her rejection, thank him for his honesty and leave. He would probably not see her again after tonight.

“Fuck,” he mumbled as his forehead sank against hers, “I should have told you a long time ago.”

“Maybe, yes. Then again, I don’t think you could have chosen a better moment to tell me than this exact one.”

His brain had no time to process what she had just said, distracted by the hands that found his trembling form again, one gliding into the warm space between his shirt and jacket, the other smoothing along his cheek and into his hair to hold him in place. As if he would ever even consider parting from her in a moment like this. And then he could feel it again for a heartbeat, the feathery touch of her lips on his, ethereal and unreal like a fleeting daydream.

His next words came in a whisper against her own, anxious if he lost their touch, he might wake from this dream after all. “Do you still want to get out of here?”

“Desperately.”

“Will you let me walk with you then? Just to make sure my special girl gets home safe and sound.”

“I think,” she said quietly, her breath leaving a honeyed due on his lips, “that’s the best idea you had tonight.” Slowly he moved, still reluctant to part from her, and it was only when he had secured her hand safely in his own that he dared to pull away and began walking. “Your best idea apart from that pity kiss, maybe.”

“I told you, woman, it wasn’t a pity kiss.”

It was too dark to see her now, the moonlight shielded from them by the thick branches of a fir tree that hung above. And so, there was nothing he could do but squeeze her hand to make his protest known.

“Bollocks,” she huffed teasingly as she squeezed back, causing Andrew to stop in his tracks.

“Do I need to show you again?”

“It surely won’t hurt.”

She squealed in surprise as he wrapped his arm around her middle and manoeuvred her backwards. With a soft groan, her spine was pressed into the gnarly bark of the tree while her head landed securely against the back of a large hand that shielded it from impact.

“Kiss me, Andrew,” she breathed into the expectant silence, her fingers finding his lush curls again and guiding him towards the source of her heady whisper. And he did. Until he could feel the world around him starting to spin. He could have blamed it on the lack of oxygen or the darkness around them that heightened his senses, maybe even on the mere fact that this kiss had seemed so utterly unthinkable by the beginning of this evening, but he knew too well that it was the woman in his arms who made this kiss the most special he had ever shared. A kind of special he vowed to always cherish and never take for granted.

#hozier x reader #hozier #hozier fanfiction #hozier imagine #hozier fic #hozier fanfic #Andrew hozier byrne #special

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