#or the other grisha that touched him would notice

[aysegust]

JUST A HEALER. - K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x Reader) A/N: Hey Everyone! I hope you all are fine and feel good. May goodness be with you… So this is a new fiction of mine. About Kaz Brekker… Well, I was so stressed about my studies so I wanted to write something to keep my mind occupied. English isn’t my native language, as reminding it again, I might have mistakes. If you saw it feel free to correct it with kindness of course! I hope you’ll like it. There will be a part two. Warnings: Kidnapping, Pekka Rollins, mention of Kirigan. It is mostly based on the first season of the series but I changed things. Word Count: 1.997

You can read the last part here: More Than A Healer. - K.B

A soldier, a healer.

That was all you were to him. A soldier, a healer. Well, the story of you and his crossed in a different path. You escaped from the Little Palace and took a ticket from an unknown ship, with that you went overseas.

As the ship sailed to the shore of Ketterdam, the city where every young-blooded Ravkan wanted to see, you were finally there. Freshly dressed and eager to see a new world. Other than forced to work under king’s command. Well, the missing state you were in probably put a traitor stamp on your name but you didn’t care.

Your parents died, because of Ravka. Because of their policies about taking Grisha’s away from their parents. Your parents die because they never wanted you to be taken from them. They died, because you were a Grisha… You blamed yourself for it from such a long time. But in reality, the blame wasn’t on you, it was on them.

A week passed since you were in Ketterdam, hiding your powers and blending into public. Well, it was safe to say that you were expecting difficulties. You had nothing so it would obviously difficult.

However as the weeks passed, you were able to find a shelter to stay, foods to feed yourself and a job. Well, you were taking care of wounded people, they thought you were talented. Not a Grisha. They thought this woman, you, are just talented and hardworking about what you do. But inside of every touch of yours, you were slowly recovering them faster.

Of course, you bandaged them, cut them, stitch them, clean their wounds but without the people of Ketterdam’s knowledge, as every slight touch of your fingers did the magic.

However, as you were so good at what you do, people talked. Pekka Rollins, offered you a job which you declined smoothly a time. He was pissed but you told him you work openly. But you treated his wounds so that’s why you were still alive.

Even Pekka Rollins didn’t realize you were a Grisha but a certain man, who likes to stay in silence and sees everything in a different gaze, such as reading between the lines, he noticed it.

That night you were going to your home, you heard a sound. It terrified you, so you touched your gun. Then you understood the sound of the cane, was on purpose.

The alley was empty. It was just the two of you, you thought. “It is not a daily thing you see a Grisha in Barrel.” As hearing his words, you turned to him slowly.

“Who are you?” You said to him coldly. He looked at you ruthlessly. As you were looking at his eyes, it was harsh, you felt goosebumps. “The right question is… why a Grisha is doing in the Barrel, Miss L/N?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “I don’t know who you are, but you surely are mad.” He smiled to that. But the smile didn’t match his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He stepped firmly into your way, you didn’t back away. You wouldn’t show any weakness to him. You were a soldier.

“There’s no need for fighting, I present you an offer.” You looked at him with curiosity after hearing his crooked voice. “I’m listening.” You said firmly.

“You can work for me, and I’ll keep your secret.” You looked at him bitterly. “I don’t work for anyone.” You looked at his eyes. “Believe me, Miss L/N, in the Barrel, a woman like you would be a great investment.” He stopped briefly. “I have been watching you, and it wasn’t hard for me to understand of your little powers.” He looked at you so smoothly.

“Bold of you to assume, that I’ll work under you.” You said it confidently. He looked at his gloves for a moment. “If they finds out you are a Grisha, you won’t last long.” You squinted your eyes. “Is that a threat?” You said.

“No, it is just a warning.” His glances wasn’t disturbing it was frightening. “I give you a day, you can find me in the Crow Club.” Then he disappeared into shadows without even waiting for you to say anything.

After that night, you thought many things. You didn’t know the man, so you pulled strings and searched his name. The Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. The owner of the Crow Club. Kaz Brekker.

Kaz Brekker.

The Dirtyhands.

He had people work under him. The Wraith, The Sharpshooter… The Dregs. The informations you learned about the infamous Kaz Brekker, led you to his Club.

As you stepped into the Club, it was lighting with warm but sharp colors. You heard every laughter on gambling tables. Some smiling like devilishly, some whine in losing.

You stepped surely to inside. As your gaze fell upon to the upstairs, your eyes met in a brief moment. From the moment you stepped inside to the Club, he knew you arrived.

He made a small gesture, the way his face turned slightly to side, it was a gesture for you to come closer.

You walked slowly into his way, as he lead you to his office. Your gaze wandered the room. The walls were covered in a thick layer, the furnitures are covered in black as the way he dressed. The room looked tidy but his desk was filled with full of papers which looked pure chaotic.

The light of the room was dim. It was weirdly calming but as his body turned to you, your gaze met his. He looked like a wall. No emotion, not even a slight expression.

As you looked at his face, two days ago, looking at him briefly on the streets was not enough for you to look deeply into his features.

Now that you see him, well, he looked beautiful. In a disturbing way, he was looking good. Except for the fact that, he knows your secret and he is threatening you. Also, adding the fact that he is the Dirtyhands. You heard rumors about him before.

“So, you heard about me.” As he broke the silence, you nodded. “The Dirtyhands.” You said with a straight impression. “I heard about you.”

He leaned back on the edge of the table. “Then you heard all the things they said about me.” He replied.

“Look, Mr. Brekker, I don’t work for people. I don’t want to make enemies.” He almost laughed at that. “No, Miss L/N, the clear thing you don’t understand is…” He paused briefly. “Eventually, when people find out who you are, you are not gonna survive a day in here.” He looked at you sharply. “I won’t expose you, but, imagine if Pekka Rollins finds out?”

As he said it, you turned your gaze into one of painting on the wall. “Okay..” It was reasonable. You turned your gaze back to his. “I’ll work for you but under one condition.” You said. “I want a good check.” He looked at you.

“Then we have an agreement.”

-

Yeah, after that day a year passed as you worked under the Dirtyhands. Well, he didn’t trust you a bit and you weren’t trusting him too but you just had to trust the promise he made.

You were clearly a good asset to him. You treated Inej and Jesper’s wounds. Other members of his crew too. Also you were a great soldier so when a mission arrives, after some time of him trusting you about coming to his thefts, you were quick, strong and loyal.

He even gave you a new identity. Helped you to have a new identity in Ketterdam. So, you wouldn’t suspected to be a Grisha, a Ravkan.

But Pekka Rollins wasn’t happy about the idea of you working under the Bastard of the Barrel, which caused you some headaches. However, Kaz was cautious about everything.

A soldier, a healer.

You were all that to him. Well, you got along with Inej and Jesper. They had unique characteristics. You could feel the joy around Jesper while feeling safe around Inej. She was quiet but she made you feel comfortable.

You can’t say much things about Kaz. He was complicated. Never trusting you much, always prepared for everything and too cautious, too careful. As you observed him through the months, you saw how he deprived himself from touching. You saw the sour face of his after someone in the crowd bumped him with no intention. They thought it was just Kaz hated people. But to you, the way he looked with every little touch the furrowing brows of his tells a different tale.

Which you were curious about it. However, you never had the intentions of learning it. So you slipped the thought away and got along with your life.

You were walking around the corners of the Barrel, you wanted to be alone, as you blended in with the others, the crowds noise was silencing your thoughts. Well, under Kaz’s command, it wasn’t very easy but you felt safe and powerful. The threats of Rollins wasn’t new, but it didn’t scare you that much. Since you were a traitor in Ravka. You flied away from there and left the Army.

Of course, over the time passed Kaz learned why you were in Ketterdam as you told him the story of your life. You thought he would judge you but he was no better man. So he just didn’t mind it.

You earned his respect with how much you cared for his crows. How you treated their wounds after a fight very gently and how you were loyal to him and his team. It didn’t slip from his gazes.

As you turned around the corner, you felt a pair of hands grabbing your mouth harshly. You panicked just for a second. Then you tried to fight back to the man who held you tightly. You took a knife out of your pocket and hit him on his belly, as he whined in pain, you freed yourself from his prying hands. As you turned to look at the man, you heard a strong accent.

“I can say, I was very disappointed to hear you began to work under- Mr. Brekker, aye?” As you heard his voice, you turned to the owner of the voice. Pekka Rollins.

“What do you want?” You said sternly. He approached to you. “It is such a clever move, I say,” He looked terrific. As meeting his gaze, Pekka’s gaze didn’t seem to move away from you. “Hiring a healer? A Grisha.” He smiled. “A traitor…” You look at him disgustingly.

“Well, I don’t know what you are talking about.” You said it dumbfounded. He looked at you with range. “What should I do to you, Dame Blanche, huh? Or should I say… Miss L/N?”

You looked at him with anger. “I don’t care what you’ll do. I won’t back away from a fight.” You said it confidently. He looked at you with smug smile. “Oh, I won’t do you harm, The Black General, I think he is going to do.” You looked at him disbelief. As two of his guy grabbed your shoulders, you fought to get away from their grip but you couldn’t succeed.

Pekka approached to you and squeezed your cheeks in a hurtful manner. “After what would done to you, you are gonna regret to work under that bastard, lass.”

The next minute, you felt pain on your back as slowly, your vision blurred and your eyes went black.

As couple of hours passed and you opened your eyes, the sharp pain on your head was making you feel uncomfortable. You tried to open your eyes but your eyelids were too heavy and you feared.

What if Kaz couldn’t find you?

What if Kaz wouldn’t find you?

What if he doesn’t care about your sudden disappearance?

What if he,

if he thinks you betrayed him too?

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 4❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: The aftermath of the events leads to a (semi-)honest conversation with the general. Various other things are happening too… Warning(s): memories of drowning and trauma (children are sometimes monsters), argument, tension Word Count: 3k Taglist:@aoi-targaryen @budugu @flostvs1508 ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova’s Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 3 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 5 ~•♤♤♤•~

You wake up wrapped in warm, soft blankets. Before you even open your eyes, you hear the fire crackling in the fireplace, and judging by the softness of your bed, you can't be in the hospital wing of the Little Palace. You open an eye and hiss as the light from the fire in the fireplace and the lamps on the walls reaches your eyes.

You rub your eyes and notice that everything around you is getting darker. You open them slowly, relieved to see a few shadows floating around the room, effectively blocking too much light from reaching your eyes.

"Better?" Aleksander's whisper comes from across the room. He emerges from the shadows, just as you had imagined when your mind was still able to process anything in the icy water.

You nod, staring at him. You don't know what to say to him. Thanking him for saving your life seems... woefully insufficient. You swallow, feeling the slight tension in the room, and it's only now that you realise where you are.

"Why am I in your bedroom?" you ask, your voice cracking and rasping.

"My chambers were closer than yours." he replies, handing you a glass of water. Grateful, you take the glass from him and quench your thirst.

You can see through his poor lies. You know he's lying, and he's lying terribly. But you don't say anything. You drink the water he gave you and pretend his burning gaze doesn't do anything to you.

You see that he wants to say something. You don't push him, though, as well as you don't say anything. Because what are you supposed to tell him? What could you say to him without revealing your feelings for him? That you were afraid of death or glad that he was the one who came for you, that he didn't let you flow downstream under the ice, when all you could think about in your probably last seconds of life was… him.

"You stayed on the shore. You didn't follow me; you just let me do what I wanted. Why?" you ask, remembering his strange behavior. He shudders. You see how quickly he puts on an impassive mask on his face, hiding his true emotions from you.

"I let you save her and become a hero. I didn't want to take away your applause and credit." he lies, running his hand through your hair. He places it on your forehead, checking that the healers have cured you and that you don't have any signs of fever. You grab his hand and pull it away from your forehead, giving him an incredulous look.

"I know you. If you had known in advance what I wanted to do, you would have grabbed me by the collar of my kefta and wouldn't have let me take even one step on that damn ice."

He swallows, his eyes shifting to the fireplace behind you. But you don't let go of your hands. You both unconsciously hold them in a tight embrace. You only notice it when he nervously starts drawing patterns on your hand with his thumb.

"When I was young I… I didn't have many friends. I wasn't able to live in Little Palace with my father, so me and my mother were hiding and travelling from village to village. It was winter. I played with some other Grishas' children, who became friends with me. They found out that, beside being a shadow summoner, I was also… something else."

"Something else?" you ask, confused, wondering what he means by that. His dark eyes meet yours with such an intense, piercing gaze that you shiver.

And then you feel it—a tingling sensation that spreads to you from where your hands touch. You slowly feel the blood in your veins rushing more. You are suddenly aware of every quiet heartbeat in the area, especially one that is so close to you. The flood of new sounds in your head tells you that it's starting to hurt, but you don't let go of his hand... you know that nothing can tear you away from him right now, as he watches your reaction so intently. One wrong gesture, one wrong breath, or one tremble, and you will break the moment between you. And you can't let that happen.

"An amplifier. A living amplifier. Source of power." Aleksander explains and waits until he sees even a sliver of lust in your eyes—lust for his amplifying powers or greed for extensions of your own power.

He had been betrayed many times in the past, by many people. His mother, his sister, and his friends turned out not to be them at all. He was sure you would be next. But with each test he put you through and each piece of himself he revealed to you, somehow you... stayed. You didn't change your behaviour towards him. Except for this situation from a few days ago. In fact, he still wasn't aware of the reasons behind your distancing...

"Like a Morozova's stag?" you ask and he can't help but laugh softly. He squeezes your hand and freezes for a moment, looking down at your joined hands as he realises he still holds on to you. It was so easy for him to just be himself around you... you were a dangerous weakness. A weakness that he protected instead of nipping in the bud.

"Yes… I guess that's a good example. After all, they also wanted my bones… when your friends push you into the ice hole and they cover it with a log of wood, you realise how fake other people can be."

You can't help but reach up and cup his cheek tenderly. He flinches at your touch at first, but as you slowly start stroking his cheekbone and head, he nuzzles his face into your hand.

"You didn't deserve it." you whisper, looking at him. Your eyes meet again, and you hear your heartbeats speeding up.

You think you see tears in his eyes as he looks at you. He tangles his hand in your hair, his fingertips brushing against your cheek, stroking it as softly as a feather, making you quickly forget about his glassy eyes.

At some point, he pulls away from you. He gets out of bed and walks over to his desk as he starts looking through the reports as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just shown you a vulnerable part of himself.

"I don't blame them. Everyone wants to have the strength to defend themselves." he says this nonchalantly, standing with his back turned towards you.

"It is better to fight in a group than alone." you see the muscles in his back tense at your words, and he becomes more and more defensive, trying his best to hide behind his wall of indifference.

"Loneliness toughens you." he states matter-of-factly.

The cool tone of his voice might have made you drop the topic before, but now, lying in his bed, wrapped in his blankets and clothes—with the irrefutable proof that he cares about you much more than he does for the average Grisha or his second-in-command—you decide to pursue the topic further.

"And hurts more than the sharpest blade or worst wound you can get." he freezes at your words.

He puts the papers on the desk and takes a glass of kvass. He drinks it in one gulp, still with his back turned to you, and (changing the subject, as he usually does when he sees that you are losing the discussion or that you are intruding on topics that are too sensitive for him), he says in a tone of voice that is too calm for him:

"You ignored my order there."

"Technically, you didn't give me any orders." at your words, he slowly turns towards you. He looks you up and down and licks his lips.

"Are you trying to tell me now that you didn't hear me calling for you to come back?" he asks, raising an eyebrow in challenge—the only warning he's giving you—your last chance to back out.

"It's not like I did something wrong." you insist on your opinion.

His face darkens, and so do his chambers, as the shadows grow stronger, shrouding the room in greater darkness. You involuntarily shiver, sensing the growing threat. Subconsciously, you know he wouldn't hurt you... not after he put so much effort into keeping you alive. Although... you saw him torture people in various ways. Even Ivan flinched once at that.

"Your little rescue operation delayed our arrival at the Little Palace." he starts calmly, but you can see in his eyes how furious he is. His heartbeat also speeds up.

"We gained a new Grisha thanks to this…"

"What would I care about some kid if I lost you?!" he bursts up suddenly, and you can't help but shiver. It seemed to be the first time he raised his voice at you; you couldn't remember if you had ever been on the receiving end of his anger. "What would I do without you?! MY SECOND-IN-COMMAND! MY HEARTRENDER! WHAT USE WOULD I HAVE FROM YOU IF YOU DIED THERE LIKE AN IDIOT?!" with every word he shouts, he takes a step towards you. You decide to get out of bed and face him in anger as well.

"Given the choice, I'd fucking do it again!" you shout at him, looking at him defiantly. You know you did the right thing, even if your life was on the line. Besides, he had no right to talk to you like that.

"Be careful how you talk to me; I'm your general! I will not have a second-in-command who does not respect my decisions and makes risky, reckless, idiotic decisions, putting herself and others at risk of death!" he growls at you in anger, shadows gathering around you.

Any normal person, with the Black General's furious gaze on them and shadows circling around both of you in a dangerous, threatening way, would have immediately backed down, let him win the argument, admitted he was right, and even begged for forgiveness. But you were never normal.

"It was my choice. I didn't drag anyone along with me!"

"YOU DRAG ME AFTER YOU! And I would send every Grisha into that damned river after you!" his challenge would probably have caught your attention if you weren't boiling with rage.

You clench your fists in anger, unconsciously manipulating his heart. His eyes widen in surprise as he watches you with bated breath, too surprised or paralysed to move.

"WHAT FOR?! If I'm such a burden, such an irresponsible commander, why did you go for me?! Why didn't you let me die?!" you shout as you walk up to him, so determined to win this verbal battle with him that you don't notice the shadows wrapping around your wrists.

You gasp as they suddenly push you against the wall. You unclench your fists, releasing his heart from your control. You look at each other, breathing deeply. Drerad slowly begins to develop within you as you realise what you have done. Shadows still hold onto your wrists.

He takes a step towards you. Shadows move out of his way as he slowly approaches you. You don't flinch, you don't beg for mercy, and you don't make a sound. Your eyes are focused on his as he gets close enough for the tips of his shoes to touch the tips of your toes. Suddenly, you're very aware that you're only in a black nightgown (that's probably his). You swallow thickly as he lifts his hand and gently pushes your hair behind your ear.

"We thought we lost you… I thought I lost you." he whispers, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "When I picked you out of the water… when Ivan said he couldn't feel your heartbeat… I had to shout at the others and summon my shadows to shut them up so he could finally tell that you were still alive."

"I..."

"And when he felt your heartbeat, we noticed you weren't breathing. You had water in your lungs. Tidemaker's hands were shaking as he pulled it out of you. One wrong move, and it could have ended your life. I think I told him to get away from you before I cut off his hands by using my shadows. I had to push the water out of you somehow myself. Ivan and Fedyor helped me. If it weren't for them, I doubt whether any of us would have returned to the Little Palace in such good condition."

"Did you get hurt?" you ask. Aleksander laughs half-mockingly and half-bitterly and shakes his head in response.

"I wish I did." he says, and you shiver as his fingers slowly move from your cheeks to your neck and shoulders. He gently caresses your shoulder, where a bruise had formed from how hard his grip was on you as he pulled you out of the water a few days ago. "I… I've already lost so many good soldiers. Friends… The list is very long, and it seems like it is only getting longer with each passing day. I can't write your name on it either. I can't lose you too… I…" you hold your breath, waiting for his next words. His eyes are fixed on your bruises and small scratches that the healers have not yet healed. He licks his lips and takes a breath to say something. But he closes his eyes and moves away from you. You shiver as your skin is suddenly deprived of his electric touch. "I've invested too much in your training. It would be a waste of time if I had to train another heartrender again to be my second-in-command."

"So? This is who I am? Your investment?"

"Each of you is." he replies with a shrug. He turns his back to you. His shadows follow him as he walks back to the desk and takes a glass of his kvass.

"You don't jump into an ice hole for everyone. Or take off your coat." you joke, and he chuckles, both of you forgetting about the argument between you that happened just a few minutes ago. He turns towards you and gives you an 'almost' affectionate look.

"Not everyone is my right hand." you smile at his response. You walk up to him and grab his hand, squeezing it as you look into his eyes.

"Thank you, Aleksander." you whisper, making him shiver. He's not used to having anyone's gratitude.

Not the honest one. It's starting to dawn on him that he's not used to anything involving you. And maybe that was what kept him drawn to you like a moth to a flame, seeking and wanting something he had never experienced in all the centuries he had lived.

"Anytime." he whispers back, entranced by your gaze. He knows that this… tenderness, understanding, and compassion would've passed the second you knew the truth about him. The truth of his origin, age, plans with the fold, and for Ravka… His mother could be a mean old witch, but she was right about one thing. At the end of the day, no one will be there to stay by his side… at least not in the way he desperately wanted. "Don't ever dare to do that again." he says, clearing his throat. "I won't always be around to pull you out of the river… I also don't like seeing you as white as a corpse with blue lips. You also disobeyed my command… but considering the circumstances, let's just say I'll turn a blind eye to it this once."

"You are a very merciful general." you say teasingly, and you walk over to his desk, looking at the map where he marked some positions with his wooden soldiers. You snort quietly, amused. Boys will be boys… even the fearsome general of the Second Army.

"You have no idea..." he replies. You turn towards him, almost bumping into his chest.

You stand close enough that you can feel his breath on your skin. Your gaze involuntarily moves from his eyes to his lips. You lick your own, imagining for a moment what it would be like to kiss him. Your gaze quickly returns to his eyes, the pupils of which are suddenly dilated.

He tangles his hand in your hair and leans down so that your noses are touching. You hold your breath and close your eyes, taking in his scent and warmth. You hear your hearts beating at an equally fast pace in anticipation.

"I would never let you die. You're my burden to endure." he leans in and whispers, referring to your previous words that you shouted at him. His lips brush against your earlobe, and you can't help but shiver. "And I can't... I can't allow myself to lose you..."

"Aleksander." you whisper, opening your eyes and staring at him as he pulls back slightly. His face is still close to yours, his gaze moving between your eyes and your lips.

His thumb strokes your neck as he slowly leans towards you…

A knock on his door makes you both pull away from each other. Ivan enters with Fedyor. Aleksander clears his throat and listens to what they have to say. As Ivan talks to him, Fedyor looks you up and down and gives you an amused smirk. You roll your eyes at him and place a hand on your flushed cheek, trying to calm yourself down... And don't curse these two for their wonderful timing.

However, all your efforts are in vain when you catch the general's gaze for a moment. The moment between the two of you from a few seconds ago plays in your head, and the possibilities of how it could have ended are haunting your mind.

You groan internally, already hearing Fedyor's teasing about that.

The only comforting thing about all this situation was hearing that Aleksander's heart sped up every time he looked your way. And you can't help but wonder… maybe you could be more to him after all?

You shake your head and quietly leave his chambers. You couldn't stay there forever, even if you wanted to. Besides, you had Christmas to plan. And Winter Fete to get ready to…

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Flowers [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x reader

word count: 8.4k

summary: some jealousy motivates Kaz to finally face how he feels about you

A/N: I have literally weeks writing this and I hope I got it right, I tried to write the reaction of jealousy as appropriate to Kaz as possible lmao. Also, when this Freddy photoshoot came out I just imagined. You'll find out later, I hope you enjoy it!

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

Kaz took a deep breath before opening the door, bracing himself for what he would face as he crossed into the next room, already a tremendous hubbub.

It was Inej's birthday and you had insisted on throwing her a celebration, something everyone else was excited about, because you thought that of all of you she was the most likely not to have had such a party. Well, actually the main candidate was Kaz but he would kill all of you when he found out that you had arranged a surprise for him.

You had decorated the room in The Slat and you had invited (threatened, rather) the members of The Dregs so that they would celebrate your friend and you also invited (to them, kindly) some girls from The Menagerie, with the security that if someone tried to touch them you would defend them. You also told the criminals that if they thought of bringing a gift they would make sure that it was not stolen, nor was it stained with blood, nor was it from the corpse of a dead person. And so far everything was perfect.

"Kaz!" he was greeted by Per Haskell, who had been playing cards at a table and already had a couple of drinks on him "Son, I admit that when you said you wanted to have a party I thought you were crazy, but this is great."

"Y/N wanted to do it, I didn't" he murmured sincerely and Per just laughed. Parties weren't really his thing, though he'd probably feel better after some alcohol. He looked for his usual group to get closer to them and not die from the anxiety that social situations generated in him.

He found five of his crows chatting and laughing at a table on which was an empty chair, which Kaz thought was surely for him.

"Look who decided to join the party" Nina mocked, looking at the black-haired boy with a smile.

"Happy birthday, Inej" he murmured politely, as he handed the girl a leather case containing a nice set of knives. Her eyes lit up as she thanked her friend and Kaz allowed himself to smile "Is anyone sitting here?"

"Y/N" replied Jesper, who had an arm around Wylan's shoulders "But she's been missing for a while."

"Maybe she's helping out in the kitchen," suggested Matthias, who was feeling more relaxed than usual.

"Huh-uh" Wylan denied, with a mischievous smile, while he took a sip of his drink "Look there" he exclaimed and his head pointed surreptitiously in one direction.

All eyes at the table looked at you at the bar and Kaz, who hadn't seen you before, was surprised by how jovial you looked. You had left your hair loose and you were wearing light-colored clothing, very different from the usual black, gray, or brown, along with ribbon adorning your hair, but the smile that this generated in the black-haired man was replaced by a frown upon noticing that you were smiling broadly towards another person. Towards a man.

"That girl is on fire" the Grisha mocked, quite proud, and the others made similar comments, between laughs.

"Who is that?" Kaz hissed, sounding angrier than he intended, at Inej, who was closest to him and most likely to know the answer due to your friendship.

“A new guy that Per hired, I thought you knew him. I heard that he comes from Shu Han”

At that moment he turned around and he could see the features that demonstrated that theory: tanned skin, slightly slanted eyes, and black hair. He wore a simple outfit, in very poor taste according to Kaz, and he couldn't have been more than 17 years old. He was just a brat who was too close to you.

Although he didn't say anything, you only needed to see the expression on his face to know that he wasn't happy, something that fortunately no one paid attention to, because they assumed that it was just a normal reaction in Kaz when seeing any kind of displays of affection.

"He's handsome," Jesper muttered, and Wylan turned to give him a pointed glare. "I mean, not like you, nobody's as handsome as you, but he… got his stuff."

Was he really handsome? Kaz didn't know if he was in a position to judge that, since he didn't even know if he was what someone would consider 'attractive'. That had never bothered him, of course, he was simply curious as to what the others might think. What could you think about, actually.

Most of them decided that the matter didn't deserve any more importance and they continued talking about other things, almost all of them logically related to Inej, however, he couldn't take his eyes off you and your peculiar company for even a second. He noticed you chuckled softly and when you did, he could see the guy across from you reach out to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear; Kaz squeezed his cane to appease the urge to go do the same to the aforementioned neck.

Almost as if you felt the heavy gaze you looked in his direction and when your eyes met you smiled reflexively, making his heart race. You still chatted for a while, but your attention wasn't entirely on your new friend now that you were aware of Kaz in the great room. In due course you apologized to him and before saying goodbye he stroked your arm too confidently, promising that he would make sure to look for you later. After he left you practically ran to the table where your friends were.

"Y/N" Inej laughed, feeling you hug her from behind.

“How is the most beautiful birthday girl in the place doing?” you asked excitedly, kissing her on the top of the head and hearing her reply that everything was excellent “Oh, hello, Mr. Brekker. What a joy that you honor us with your presence” you joked as if you had barely noticed, and you were disappointed to see the unfriendly look he gave you.

“Who was the young man you were talking to?” Nina asked casually, while her boyfriend shook his head at how gossipy she was sometimes.

"Lior?" you muttered. So that was the name that should be written on the tombstone "It's huh... a new guy, he was thanking me for inviting him"

“I hope he doesn't get used to it,” Kaz said grudgingly. “Don't think there will be any more birthday parties. Much less with all these Dregs”

A collective groan was heard, alleging that the boss was very bitter and appealing to 'healthy coexistence', which amused you.

"That was my chair, shall I sit on your lap or shall we bring a new one?" you exclaimed, close to the man's ear. Kaz didn't expect that and it was obvious you didn't mean it, but he had to abruptly get up from his chair and walk away, leaving all of you stunned.

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! I just told him that I was sitting there, but I was kidding, I didn't want him to leave”

“That's how he is,” Inej said, with a touch of bitterness and a shrug. But you didn't take that so lightly, you hated that Kaz was mad at you because he made you feel so guilty, even if you didn't know what he was mad at. Maybe you had crossed some line? You weren't even going to! It had only been nonsense that had escaped your lips for the liquid value that you had ingested.

You ended up taking the chair that he had left empty and although you participated actively in the conversation you couldn't help but feel restless. Of course you didn't know that Kaz had left there to prevent you from noticing his cheeks flushed with fury at the scene he had seen and the way you had said the name of this Lior guy, a blush that only increased when he felt your breath so close to his skin and hear your soft voice.

First he had to calm down, why had that bothered him in the first place? Although he was aware of a certain protective relationship that he had towards all of you, it was not normal to feel that anger when you were talking to someone else, or when another man was touching you. Jesper was constantly holding your hand, once he had found you and Wylan cuddled up sleeping on a couch and you always challenged Matthias to fights you knew you weren't going to win and he just laughed it off, making no effort. But that was different, he had touched you… with other intentions. Kaz was no fool and he knew better than anyone that you were beautiful in every way, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. He maybe couldn't appreciate the masculine beauty, but, although it was not in his total interest, he could judge the feminine. So he was mad because a guy was interested in you? Was that what explained the heat that grew in his chest and that now he himself was torturing him? But why?

“Kaz Brekker?” said a voice behind him. He had gone outside to get some air and didn't recognize who had called him until he turned around. Today was his damn lucky day "My name is Lior, Per said that you are like the boss"

"I'm not like the boss" Kaz replied with total contempt "I'm the boss"

"Huh, yeah, sure. I'm sorry. I just wanted to introduce myself” Kaz looked at him without saying anything, obviously trying to make the other understand that he had no interest in meeting him, and the boy took the opportunity to clear his throat before speaking again “And… ask you if… a girl I was talking to is from your team. She mentioned you before, her name is Y/N”

Kaz didn't know what that Lior had in mind to go and ask him such a thing, but for a moment he believed in the Saints and thanked them for making him so stupid.

"And what does that interest you, silly boy?" he muttered. Lior was probably the same age as Kaz, but the black-haired man had the advantage of being a few inches taller, of having an imposing presence leaning on his cane, and of… well, being the fucking boss.

"In nothing, I just thought I'd ask you" replied Lior, visibly dismayed by the unexpected hostility of his new leader, and mistakenly thinking that he would fix something, he continued: "She's very kind and I wanted to get to know her better, I thought you could help me”

“You're here to steal, spy and obey orders, you're not here to meet girls, let alone someone like her. So I recommend you keep your distance and focus on the job, which is why we hired you”

To say that Lior was terrified was an understatement, even though the opponent had held back a bit. For a moment he thought that Kaz took his job very, very seriously (it was partly true) so that's why he had been so annoyed at the suggestion of him looking for one of his close friends. He never knew that he was mad to hear that someone so vulgar wanted to befriend his Y/N.

"Kaz!" for a second he thought he was imagining your voice, but when you appeared a few seconds later he knew it wasn't like that "I was looking for you, you... Lior" you interrupted yourself, looking at the other young man who had paled a little "I see that you are already met"

"Yes, we already had the fortune" he answered with all the sarcasm existing in his body, although you didn't notice it.

"I was leaving, anyway"

“Wait, have this,” you said, handing the boy a piece of paper “It's a restaurant, Nina and I go there for breakfast all the time. If you ever want to join us, just say so” Your tone was so kind and your face so happy that Kaz was afraid he would start foaming at the mouth.

"Yes, I..." Lior didn't dare look at Kaz, who was watching him with murderous eyes "I'll think about it, bye"

"Bye," you replied, a little disappointed by his lack of effusiveness.

"You really want to make new friends," he snorted with inevitable scorn.

“Well yeah, my old friends run away from me,” you muttered, keeping your tone playful no matter how upset he was. Then you sighed and got a little more serious, “Listen, I know you hate parties and people, but I would really appreciate it if you were with us at the table. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I did this to have a fun time and to make Inej happy. There is alcohol inside, if you don't like it, I can find you something better to prepare the drink you prefer but, please, stay even for a while"

His frown on him relaxed considerably as he watched your pleading eyes looking down at him but the unknown feeling towards the new guy grew like flames consuming an entire forest. You had told him where you used to go for breakfast, which meant you wanted to see him again.

“Only if you promise not to go out with that idiot” 

“With Lior? And why shouldn't I?

"I already told you. He's an idiot" he said simply and you laughed.

"And how do you know?"

"He looks like one"

"You're going to need a better reason than that and probably a bouquet to convince me otherwise," you muttered, totally sure that the latter was so ridiculous that it would only prove that you weren't going to change your mind. Lior wasn't the most handsome guy for you, that place was reserved for someone special, but you had decided that giving him a chance wasn't such a bad idea “Come on, don't be grumpy, and let's go in there. I got a cake and you don't want to miss it,” you said, starting to walk back inside, and after sighing Kaz followed you without question.

Once morning came the birthday cheer was gone and things went on as usual; going to the Crow club, keeping order at The Barrel, odd jobs, and a couple of unfortunate fights.

In the span of a week you had already seen Lior at least three times, and he always seemed to be conveniently close to various places you frequented. Being with him was nice and little by little you were getting used to his company, the only thing that seemed too strange to you was that every time Kaz appeared in the same place as you he said goodbye and left immediately before your boss could see it. You assumed he was just afraid of him, like most people, and you didn't say anything.

Suddenly you began to think that you had hardly seen the man in those days and you wondered if he was attending to your basic needs since you had hardly seen him go to the kitchen of the place for the food that you prepared. Sometimes loaves of bread would disappear, but that was Fahey's trademark.

"You are listening?" asked Lior, who was in front of you at a betting table and had brought you out of your musings. You were taking a break at the club and again he was hanging around so you thought about having a drink but right now you only remembered the beginning of what he had been saying to you so you couldn't lie to him even if you wanted to. You just smiled embarrassedly in response, making him laugh. "Too much to think about?"

"No, none of that. I was only gone for a moment"

"Well," he started to say, with what you'd already recognized as a flirtatious smile, "I hope I can find you when that happens."

You were going to answer something when you heard a fight near you. A couple of drunks had a disagreement over who had won the game and they thought the most effective way to settle it was beating. You quickly got up from your chair to separate them and had to dodge the fists several times, having no luck a couple of times. Lior was about to jump in to help you when suddenly one of the men fell to the ground with a thud. Everyone in the room looked in the direction of whoever had knocked him down and there was the only logical option.

"If you guys want to beat up each other like animals, do it outside my establishment," was all Kaz said. You were still holding the other man back, but he didn't put up much of a fight when he and his friend were escorted outside. You shook off your jacket and rubbed your arm where one of them had managed to hit you.

This time Lior couldn't escape the boss's eyes and Kaz felt his blood boil again at the sight of his face. He still didn't fully understand the nature of his feelings, but it was clear to him that he didn't want you near that boy after a couple of days when you no longer stopped by to say hello in his office or struck up a conversation with him. Although, indeed, he was never the most sociable now he wanted to make an effort to spend more time with you, but he had difficulties finding ways to do it.

"Damn drunks, huh?"

“Did they hurt you?" he asked quietly. You looked up in confusion and took a moment to process it. Was Kaz worrying about you?

I mean, he cared for all of you during missions and times of real danger, but on those occasions he just saw to it that you stayed alive and continued his duties. It was weird hearing something verbal.

"Nothing I can't handle," you replied, with a challenging little smile.

“I want you to help me with some things. Unless you're busy…”

Saying this he looked at the skinny boy behind you, who looked away immediately. If there was one thing to be recognized about Kaz, it was how he never showed fragility and therefore forced others to surrender first.

"It's that urgent?"

"So I would say"

Now it was you who held his gaze for a few seconds, looking for something implicit that would reveal why he now wanted to take you to another place, but there was nothing. There was only neutrality in those beautiful blue eyes.

“Lior, I have to go. Some work" you exclaimed and he internally celebrated the apparent victory that you had chosen him over someone else, although the satisfaction was short-lived when he saw that you took a step and planted a kiss on the boy's cheek.

Kaz thought about how he wasn't mad at you, but at him, and it suddenly dawned on him that he was actually jealous. That was what he was feeling like a plague.

Jealousy.

You noticed the radical change in his attitude when he didn't even look at you and began to walk quickly down the hall, so you had to speed up to keep up with him. Worst of all, he didn't really have anything he needed help with, he'd just said it so you wouldn't be with the Shu boy, so when you set foot in the office he was stunned.

“I want you to help me sort these documents by date,” he said, extending in your direction a huge folder that he found in a drawer that only contained papers from the previous year. It was not necessary to order that because he had already used it, but he preferred to ask you that than look completely dumb. 

"And the magic words?"

"Abracadabra?" he said sarcastically, but he sighed heavily at the sight of your crossed arms and your clear intentions of not taking the folder until he said so "Please, Y/N"

“Do you see how cute you sound being a polite child?” you exclaimed to annoy him and before another complaint you took the things and placed yourself in an empty end of the desk.

Kaz watched you from time to time, intent on your task, your lips slightly pouting, and each time he did he felt his heart swell. 

What was happening to him? he was afraid that he would find out and not like the answer.

You finished in record time and he let you off to wherever you wanted to go through the door, a little worried that it was with the new kid. As soon as you left he took his hat, coat, and cane to go directly to The Slat, hoping that the person he needed was there.

He knocked on the door a couple of times, but no one answered and for a moment he felt desperate. He badly needed the help of the one person he knew who wouldn't judge him for asking obvious questions and also had enough discretion so that others wouldn't realize he suspected he had feelings for you. He suspected. 

He was going to make one last attempt which wasn't necessary as the door swung open as he raised his fist, revealing a small figure with loose hair and less weaponry than usual.

“Kaz?”

"Hello, Inej"

You were sitting in the dining room of your shared house, pouring yourself some coffee in a chipped cup hoping it was strong enough to wake you up, while you racked your brains trying to solve the mystery that had been bothering you for a few days ago. 

Turns out, after the drunken brawl incident and helping Kaz, you had gone to rest, falling asleep on the bed almost immediately. No problem with that. The strange thing was that the next day you had woken up with a bouquet of wildflowers of various colors resting on the nightstand. The first time you thought that you had put it there and you didn’t remember it, so you just sniffed it with pleasure and placed it in a glass of water. Normal day, you went to sleep at the end and the next morning there it was again. You knew that it was not the one you had collected the day before because these were in the glass. A little confused, you put the new flowers with the old ones and continued with your day, without imagining that the next morning things would repeat themselves. Three times in a row was already disturbing, so you made an effort to imagine who was the author of all this. If it was the girls, it was nice that they had such detail, and you could have even tolerated it from Jes, Wylan, or Matthias, but if it was an outsider then it was a worrying situation because it implied that a lunatic had been messing around to your room at night for a week straight. You made sure to lock your room and still, the flowers appeared there, as if it were a magic trick.

Was it Lior? Impossible, or you would have seen him come in in the morning or at night. Also, one day you had woken up earlier than usual and even that time the flowers were there.

"Bonjour" greeted an energetic Jesper, who had appeared still in nightwear, and ruffled your hair as he approached you "You don't look very lively"

"I am not a morning person," you said sipping your coffee.

One by one your other companions joined the morning coffee, Kaz being the last to arrive. It was funny how much 'morning drinks' could say about each of you: Inej drank coffee with some sugar, Jesper coffee with cream, Wylan drank tea, Matthias just milk, Nina hot chocolate and lastly you and Kaz shared a taste for the coffee bitter and very hot, so it was not a surprise that when he arrived you already had a cup for him.

“We're running low on supplies,” Matthias announced, pointing to the empty cupboard, to which you groaned.

None of you had any culinary skills, but since you were the least likely to give them food poisoning, they had all decided that you would be the designated cook, which included doing the shopping.

"I'll go to the market later"

“I will accompany you,” Kaz said, so fast that they all fell silent and turned their heads to look at him. Observing the situation, he adopted a defensive attitude "I need to buy some things too and I have to make sure Y/N isn't wasting money"

“Sure, my specialty is diverting resources by saying I bought potatoes,” you joked, rolling your eyes. “If you want to go with me, let's go now. At this time there are fewer people" you explained and he nodded. You just finished drinking your coffee and grabbed a large bag in which you loaded the food before leaving the building.

As soon as you got out, they started speculating.

"Why did Kaz want to go?"

"I wonder the same thing"

“Maybe he really did have things to buy,” Matthias said, and though Nina heard her black-haired man's racing heart, she decided not to contradict anyone. Inej looked at her almost as if she read her thoughts and they both shared a knowing look without saying anything.

On the way to the market, neither of you spoke, but he noted that you were right when you said that the city was quieter at that time, probably because life in The Barrel really began when night fell.

The market was quite a distance away, but he put up with it like a champ, so when you got there you were very hungry and you assumed he was the same.

“Eat,” you said suddenly, extending to Kaz a piece of bread with jam inside that you loved to buy when you went there “I pay for this with my own money, by the way. So you don't accuse me of being a thief."

"You are a thief," he reminded you, grimacing and taking a bite of the piece of food. It was sweet, freshly made, and melted in the mouth.

You two walked for a couple of blocks, still in silence, while you were choosing food. You were wondering what those 'things' were that Kaz needed to buy and when he would ask you to make a detour to a store, but the moment didn’t seem to come, which made you suspect that there was really no such reason and it was just an excuse. You were curious as to what he might be looking for by doing that and you let your mind wander to possible answers, from when he was looking for advice he didn't yet know how to ask to when he just needed some fresh air and jumped at the chance, without you being involved in any way.

Kaz, for his part, was entering a crisis. He wanted to talk to you and have a nice time but he didn't know how to do it. He had thought that, once you were alone, the words would sprout by themselves and then you would continue the conversation, however, he had limited himself to watching you feel the fruits to decide which was ripe and which was not.

“Do you think she really likes that boy?”

“I don't know” Inej had told him “But I don't think that's the case either” she continued and her friend nodded his head “I think what she likes about him is that he listens to her and keeps her company; he is attentive to her. You could start there."

"Are you hungry?"

"A little, nothing that will kill me"

"Let's have breakfast" he murmured. Did it sound like an order? Yes, but he hoped to get a little better with practice.

"Only if you pay" you answered with a mischievous smile.

He led you to a small establishment you'd never been to, which he probably chose because he was all alone, and you sat at one of the little tables with worn cushioned chairs, facing each other. The question you wanted to ask him was on the tip of your tongue, but you were still working up the courage to gesticulate it.

Kaz ordered some eggs and bacon and since you were craving something sweet you ordered some fried dough stuffed with currants, on the recommendation of your companion, and both of you ordered the second coffee of the day.

"And what is?"

"What is what?"

“The deal” you exclaimed, as if it were obvious, but he didn't seem to understand “I suppose if we came here alone it's so you can ask me to make a deal. Steal, spy on someone right?"

He was stunned for a moment. Didn't you notice the effort he was making? Was that your idea of his actions? Honestly he couldn't blame you, because, probably, in other circumstances that would have been the case to isolate himself from the others in the group. But not now.

"There's nothing" he replied, but you narrowed your eyes to let him know that you didn't believe him "No tricks, I promise"

"So does that mean I'm the boss's favorite?" you asked with mock enthusiasm, deciding to play with his patience a bit.

"Shut up or you're going to lose your privileges," he countered. It felt good to tease you, have a little fun for a change.

You were sitting there until the mass of people that gathered at noon allowed it and then you returned to The Slat with your hands loaded with bags that at some point in the day you would place in the cupboard, not wanting to do it immediately so as not to spoil the atmosphere of peace between you and Kaz, who hadn't left you yet.

“Anything in particular you want for lunch?” you asked, moving closer to him. It was just the two of you in the kitchen and the rest of the place was relatively quiet. "You know, to offer you privileges to threaten you with later."

He almost laughed, but the suppressed smile you saw on him was enough to make you want to see more. You and Kaz were friends (or so you hoped, at least) but there weren't many memories between you like that, almost all of them were related to work or at the club or with one of you saving the other's ass. You had only once helped him heal a wound, just because he couldn't reach that section of his back and then he justified himself by asking for your help by saying that it had been partly your fault, which was totally false but that you weren't going to argue with him if that made him feel less embarrassed.

It felt different, like something more relaxed, soft… more domestic. You had just returned from shopping together, you had eaten an exquisite breakfast that he paid for and now you were asking him what he wanted you to prepare for him to eat… were you a couple of criminals or a newly married couple? 

The thought of a marriage with Kaz warmed your cheeks and you wanted to laugh at how absurd that would be.

"Whatever you want, anyway, my stomach already has enough defenses against indigestion" upon hearing this you barely pushed his arm, but as soon as you did, your eyes widened as you remembered who you were talking to, although to your surprise he didn’t complain.

"I'll make pea soup," you informed. You knew it was one of his favorites because of the second course he always served himself when he thought no one else was looking. You did, you looked at Kaz Brekker all the time.

He just hummed in the affirmative and left without another word.

During the course of the morning you did more activities, but you couldn't stop thinking about him and the walk they had taken together. Suddenly you would surprise yourself remembering his expressions at your bad jokes and smiling like a fool when you thought about how beautiful his eyes looked with the brightness of that morning.

Kaz ever had a partner? Did he like someone? Was he even interested in those things? You didn't know, but it wasn't a crime to have some admiration for him either, right? Jeez, he'd only been a little nice to you, why were you so excited about that?

You had never thought about whether you had feelings for him, beyond the initial working relationship that had now become a kind of family bond, although now you were reflecting on it.

And later, when his expression brightened from the plate of food you served him, you felt that it might not be such a wrong idea.

I like your smile.

It was the only note that had been left with the flowers, which you had been receiving for quite some time. Always without fail, always on the nightstand in your room.

Although you were worried about who this "secret admirer" might be, your curiosity was greater and you had been careful not to mention anything to your friends. Well, it was really just the boys, because Inej and Nina knew a lot about things, since the jobs to steal were scarce lately, you guys had more time to do anything else. 

Kaz trusted any of you so he let you roam the Crow club as you please, but also to check that things were in order: no scammers, control fights, check that the girls weren't harassed by the clients, things like that.

That night the club was short of a barista, so you and Wylan had split the responsibility for it by taking turns meeting the demand.

He was more skilled than you at making cocktails, perhaps due to his chemical mixing skills, but still the boy was patient with you and he only laughed when you messed up.

"I prefer this to be like poor Jes” you muttered amused, because from where you could see the boy sitting next to the door playing with one of his guns, obviously annoyed because Kaz had ordered him to stay away from the gaming tables. You thought that Wylan also had something to do with it, because they both hated that it fueled their gambling problem "But I need to distract myself a bit, will you be okay by yourself?" you asked. You knew he would be fine so you walked out of the bar without much guilt.

You were taking a walk among the tables when you felt someone grab your arm and you turned defensively. It was Lior, who you had already served too many drinks for a person of his size and now he was suffering the consequences. After serving perhaps the fifth in a row you got a little worried, but you didn't want to intervene because you thought it was none of your business. As long as he paid them, you had no objection.

"Y/N," he said, drawing out his tongue. Several of the Dregs were standing around him, apparently also drinking some beer, and were watching you curiously. "Sit with us," he ordered, patting an unoccupied chair next to him.

You didn't want to be rude and tried to say you were working now, but he was insistent until you agreed to sit down for a few minutes. The other men weren't chatting with you, probably as a matter of avoiding trouble with the boss, but Lior was particularly eloquent. As an effect of alcohol, he didn’t measure distances and sometimes he would spill some beer near you or invade your personal space to talk to you. You let it go because you didn't want to cause a conflict and, to a certain extent, it was tolerable.

But after a while, his behavior became more annoying. He was holding your hand and even tried to stroke your leg, but what made you jump back was when he leaned in for a kiss. Luckily you had been faster.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" you asked flustered, drawing the attention of the others at the table.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't want to" he replied. His body leaned towards you again and you moved further away, which made him annoyed "I've seen how you look at me"

"Sorry, what?"

"You want me," he stated. You were suddenly startled by the confidence with which he was saying that and how deep his voice sounded, like that of a wild animal. And, from his perception, you played the role of the prey.

"That’s not true, fuck you," you spat, getting up from your chair, but you were stopped by his strong grip on your forearm.

"Come on, Y/N. You like me and I like you, stop making yourself difficult"

"I told you no" you exclaimed with a trembling voice. The problem wasn't whether or not you could face the boy, but that he had caught you off guard. Although it was true that you liked him a little, you weren't going to allow him to want to kiss you just like that, to say the least… because judging from his insistence, you doubted that a kiss was all he wanted.

You almost screamed as he pulled you towards him and this caught the attention of several people around you, but before you could do anything an object came between you and threw Lior back into his chair in one movement.

It was a cane.

It was clear that by this point several tables had already stopped their games to pay attention to the menacing expression of the bastard with the barrel hovering over a drunken kid imprisoned in his chair.

"No means no" Kaz said slowly and quite close to the challenging face of the opponent. It was almost like he had been watching you the whole time, waiting for the perfect moment to intervene, or maybe he just had a sixth sense that would alert him when one of his crows was in trouble.

He thought that this would be enough to scare the boy and withdrew the cane from his chest, intending to turn around to check on your well-being, but he did not count on the fact that Lior's drunken state also gave him the courage to dare to jump in to hit him. The black-haired man's instinct made him turn around just in time to stop the drunk and throw him face-first against the table, holding his folded hand against his back.

If there was anyone left who hadn't noticed the discussion that was enough for them to notice, including Wylan, Jesper, and Matthias who had risen from their places to intervene if necessary. But it probably wouldn't. Kaz was furious.

You saw him whisper in the boy's ear and you knew it was a threat from the expression on his face, in addition to the groan of pain that the youngest emanated when Kaz mercilessly pulled his arm.

He remained in that position for a moment, completely blinded by anger, enjoying the cries of pain the shu boy was making.

"Get him out of here" Kaz ordered The Dregs, who had been watching everything in silence. You also didn't get to hear what he said to one of them, but the chances of Lior waking up the next day in pain from a beating were pretty high.

As you backed away you collided with a huge body and calmed down to see that it was Matthias, asking if you were okay. It didn't take long for all the men of the team to gather around you to ask what had happened, but you were still a little stunned to answer coherently.

Even so, you looked for Kaz's gaze just to realize he didn't look angry, but worried and his eyes were in charge of communicating everything that his mouth didn't. Somehow you quietly reassured him too, but he couldn't bear to see the glitter that threatened to turn to tears.

"Thank you" you managed to whisper, still a little nervous.

“Take the night off,” the black-haired man murmured, again sounding more like an order than a suggestion. “Walk her to The Slat, Jesper. Matthias, stay at the door”

The three of them returned to their respective posts and for a moment you thought that Kaz was also going to accompany you, but when you looked back he was already rushing with a firm step towards the door where the rest of his men had left.

Once you were in your room, and Jesper made sure for the thousandth time that you were okay, the feeling of discomfort eased considerably, but you noticed the bruise already beginning to form on your forearm from the man's grip.

What had happened to him? He had always been kind to you and respectful... you didn't even think that he would behave like that with you. You were disgusted and even scared by how quickly things had happened, but you were infinitely grateful that Kaz had come like a guardian angel to help you. You probably could have handled that on your own, however, the shock of receiving that kind of treatment from a person you were beginning to trust and even care for was what put you at a disadvantage.

You struggled a lot to fall asleep, because a part of you felt very hurt and sad to think that you didn’t deserve to have sincere love, but one where they only wanted you for physical matters.

Also, the flowers didn't arrive that morning.

When you finally got out of bed you were having trouble concentrating on anything and Nina had to take care of breakfast because you were too sensitive to do anything. This didn’t go unnoticed and everyone insisted that you rest a little more, but when Kaz arrived and realized the situation he didn’t wait to take action on the matter.

“We’re going out,” he said, when he finally intercepted you alone in the kitchen area, even though you weren't in much of a mood at all.

"A job?"

"A walk" he corrected you. You looked confused but didn't say anything and when it was time to leave The Slat you realized that Kaz wasn't talking about hanging out in a group, but just the two of you.

You didn't know where he was taking you, yet the road was as silent as usual. He watched you out of the corner of his eye just to see if your features changed in any way with the landscape, the aromas, or the morning breeze, but he felt a little disappointed when he noticed that your expression was still serious and even a little sad.

He wished he had taken more time with Lior last night.

"He won't bother you again" when he remembered that, he felt the need to let you know that now you could rest easy, and that you know that he himself had taken care of dealing with the matter.

"I don't doubt it," you said, letting out a bitter laugh. You knew what Kaz was capable of when he was angry. "It's just... I feel silly."

"Did you love him?" the man asked. You had already arrived at the place where he wanted to take you in the first place: it was a small meadow, with a lonely bench and too much life to be in the sad and gloomy Ketterdam. It was like finding a little piece of heaven on earth.

“Love him? By God, no, of course not. It was nice to be with him, but… talking about love is too strong. He was just an idiot”

"I'm sorry this has happened" he exclaimed, a little calmer after hearing your negative words about the other man, and at the same time the fact that you were alone gave him a little more confidence to say what he was thinking without being judged, trying to make you realize that he really cared about you.

"It's okay" you smiled to reassure him. He was going to say something else when a purple stain caught his attention under the sleeve of your dress that you had already risked up to the biceps. The night before he didn't notice that the boy had hurt you when he struggled and at that moment his blood boiled with anger "It's nice"

"What?"

"The place," you said, looking everywhere; the slightly gray sky, the birds flying around, the flowers growing next to your feet, and Kaz right in front of you. All of that made up the beauty you were talking about. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I thought maybe you needed to calm down a bit"

"Then you're a good friend," you said softly. Kaz couldn't remember anyone using that term with as much fondness filtered into their voices as you just did.

Friends. You were friends, you loved him at least a little.

"I hope so. I don't have much practice” he confessed and you smiled tenderly. Although you wanted to keep seeing Kaz, something in you forced you to look at the floor, as if there was something there calling you.

The flowers… were those flowers. You could recognize them after receiving them for days and keeping them fresh in the vase: there were the yellow ones and the lilac ones, both with small petals and a brown center.

You paused for a moment to make sure you weren't misreading or confusing things, but when you knelt down to pick up a cluster you knew for a fact that your theory was correct.

"What a curious thing"

"The flowers?" he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. Even though you couldn't see his face, you somehow knew he was frowning.

“I've been getting exactly these kinds of flowers every weekday for a while now,” you said, getting up and showing Kaz the plants. “The stranger places them on my nightstand before I wake up, every time, without fail. Except for today"

"Maybe I wanted you to come to see them in person"

You froze in place, not expecting such a quick confession from him, and he looked at your face for a reaction. You were still holding the cluster in your hand and you unconsciously squeezed it hard.

In a panic you tried to find another interpretation of his words that didn’t imply the fact that he was the author of those signs of love, but you couldn’t find it. And from the man's slightly embarrassed face, you assumed that was true.

But the worst thing about it was the existence of the note that had kept you tossing and turning the day you received it. I like your smile. Kaz had written that too?

"So... it was you"

"Who did you have in mind?" he asked, a bit defensive, and you smiled, shaking your head.

“No one, I didn’t imagine who it could be. Honestly, at first, it scared me to think that someone was stalking me” you said sincerely. You looked at the bouquet of flowers again and noticed that some were withered, thinking that Kaz probably always chose the prettiest ones to take with you. You fell silent, not of your choice, but because he wasn't saying anything, and then you closed the distance between you by taking a small step forward, still respecting his personal space but enough to make the conversation intimate. “Why did you do that?”

Words were never Kaz's strong suit and he felt his throat tighten as he tried to answer you. What could I tell you about that? Did he himself have a coherent reason for doing that?

He thought you were going to get mad at his silence, but you smiled tenderly because, although he didn't realize it, once again his eyes had been in charge of telling you everything he was keeping quiet about.

"I like them a lot" you spoke again. If he wasn't ready to tell you, you weren't going to push him "I put them in a vase every day and when they're withered I put them in a box" you confessed. Fearing rejection, you lowered your hand to his, took it for a moment to place it higher, and then placed your own flowers in his hand. He held them tremblingly "Calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone"

"Tell them what?"

"I'm the boss’s favorite" you joked and a knot formed in Kaz's stomach when he saw that your eyes dropped for a second to his lips and you licked yours, perhaps unconsciously. You pulled away from him because you thought he might be uncomfortable with the closeness and instead, you left him wanting to have been in that position a little longer “Do you want us to sit here? I like to watch the birds”

He ignored you and a few minutes later you two were sitting next to each other, still saying nothing. Kaz was looking at you out of the corner of his eye and he thought he couldn't be prouder that your sad expression was gone.

And how was I to be? If you had just discovered that you had the sympathy of the man you admired most in all of Kerch.

"You were right," he spoke suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts about what it would feel like to be a bird and be able to fly.

"About what?"

"You're my favorite. As a person. You are my favorite person” he managed to say. His look from him was sweet and sincere "And I like to see you smile"

"You already told me," you said, trying to suppress a smile and feeling how the blood rose to your cheeks. It took you a moment to dare to say what you were thinking. “I appreciate you, Kaz. I mean it very seriously."

You two stayed there for what seemed like hours and just enjoyed each other's quiet company, the sound of the wind, and the sight of the place. You looked at the horizon and he watched you covertly, thinking about everything he would be able to do to keep you out of the dangers of the world and what he had not realized until the night before when your integrity was threatened. 

One of your knees collided with his and Kaz, instead of pulling away from him, moved his knee slightly to rub against yours.

That day a silent pact had been sealed between you. He loved you and so did you.

No more words were necessary. Just lots of flowers.

[marvelmusing]

A Night of Firsts

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your family requires you to marry, despite your position as a First Army strategist. Luckily, General Kirigan is more than willing to offer you his hand in marriage. You’re fond of Aleksander, but your wedding night has arrived and you’re beyond nervous.

Warnings [18+]: smut, fingering, first time, experienced!Aleksander, innocent!reader, reader has outdated ideas about first times, tiny bit of corruption kink, praise kink, wife kink, little bit of size kink

My Masterlist

“I can hear you overthinking,” Aleksander says in a low voice as he steps out from behind the changing screen in his room. He’s changed out of the kefta he had worn for the ceremony, into a black bath robe.

Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, you fiddle with the hem of your nightgown as you adjust yourself from where you’re currently seated at his vanity table.

“Am I really that easy to read?”

“No, I just know you.”

You wish he would touch you as casually as he had been through the evening. The reception had been as nerve wracking as the ceremony itself, but Aleksander’s touch had helped to ease your discomfort.

He holds your gaze in the mirror as he stands behind you.

“We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.” You nod faintly. “We don’t have to do anything tonight, or any other night onwards.”

“But we do,” you insist in a small voice. “If anyone finds out our marriage hasn’t been consummated, my parents will seek to annul our marriage instantly.”

You know your parents were pleased that you had finally married, but you’re certain they believe you could have done better than a Grisha General.

“Whatever happens in this room stays between you and I.”

A soft, yet bitter, scoff falls from your lips as you remember one of your married friends telling you about her wedding night.

“Servants check the bedsheets you know.”

A frown crinkles at his brow, then his expression softens as he takes a step closer to you. His hand is warm as it settles on your waist, and some of the tension leaves your shoulders.

“It isn’t supposed to hurt,” he says softly and once he sees the confusion in your eyes he adds, “Your first time. You shouldn’t bleed, or hurt, if I’m doing my job correctly.”

“What do you mean?”

“May I touch you?” You nod.

He presses a kiss to your temple, nuzzling his face against yours as his hands smooth over your body. You’re only wearing a simple nightgown, white silk and lace that was picked by your dressmaker.

One hand squeezes at your hip, as he leaves a line of kisses from your cheek, to your jaw, and down your throat. His other hand cups your breast tenderly, a warm pressure against your body that leaves you aching.

“When I touch you,” he murmurs softly against the shell of your ear. “And kiss you.” He presses his lips against your neck once again and you shiver. “How does it feel?”

“Good, so good,” you whisper, your eyes heavy as he continues his actions. He hums approvingly.

“Where does it feel good, milaya?” Your cheeks burn, and he offers you his hand. “Show me where.”

You take his hand, sliding it down your body to rest against your clothed core. The heat of his hand, and the firm pressure of his fingers pressing against your entrance has you inhaling sharply. He watches your face, taking in your wide eyes and parted lips.

“When you feel good down here, it gets wet. Have you ever noticed that, milaya?” You shake your head, and he rubs gentle circles over the fabric of your panties. “Have you ever touched yourself here?”

When you open your eyes you find him staring at you, and for a moment you lose yourself in his darkened eyes. You shake your head. He breathes out sharply, grasping your chin between his fingers to ensure that your gaze doesn’t shy from his as he speaks.

“I’m going to take such good care of you. Will you let me, milaya? Will you let me teach you how to feel good?”

Before his words are finished, you’re nodding your head. Aleksander’s smile is dark as he kisses you, firmer this time. His lips devour each and every sound that leaves you, and you’re gasping when he pulls away.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he says quietly, and pulls you into his arms.

Arms curled tightly around his body, it isn’t long before Aleksander is placing you down at the head of the bed. He kisses you again and you moan softly as his hands pin your body to the mattress beneath you.

“Can I take this off?” he asks, gesturing to your nightgown, and you nod hurriedly. He smiles that dark smile again at your eagerness and helps you to pull the garment over your head.

All that you’re wearing now is your panties. White lace, with a delicate bow at the centre of the waistband. Aleksander groans low in his throat at the sight of you, and your body burns under his gaze.

“You’re so beautiful,” he tells you, as his hands settle at your waist and his mouth kisses along your throat. His movements are firmer than before, with more pressure behind his touches and his tongue and teeth join his lips as he kisses your skin. “Utterly perfect.”

“Aleksander,” you whisper in a gasp.

He lifts his head up and your eyes meet his. Then he slides your panties down your thighs, before removing them completely. He settles his body over yours, the heat of him chasing away the chill of the room. Aleksander nuzzles his face against your cheek tenderly.

“Can you part your legs for me, milaya?”

Shyly, you do as he says. He moans lowly as he looks down at the slick gathered between your thighs.

“Good girl.”

You whimper at his praise, and with the glint in his eyes you know he’s noticed.

“Can I touch you now?” he asks softly, his fingers tracing delicate patterns over your stomach and thighs.

“Yes, please,” you beg and he chuckles quietly.

“Such a well mannered little wife of mine.”

A shuddering gasp leaves your lips as his fingers finally brush over your entrance. He slides his digits through your wetness, and your hips begin to rock against his hand. Aleksander notices you biting down on your lip.

He cups your face with his other hand, pulling your lower lip away from your teeth.

“Don’t quieten yourself. I want to hear all the pretty sounds I can wring from you.”

Then he slides a finger inside you, and a broken moan leaves your lips. He tilts your head, keeping your eyes on his as he pushes his finger further inside.

“Doing so well for me, milaya,” he says in a low voice, his forehead pressing against yours. You gasp when his finger is fully inside you, and he curls the digit until you’re writhing beneath him.

He moves his finger out of you, and you moan loudly when he thrusts back inside. The wet noises make your skin flush, but Aleksander begins to increase his pace. His fingertip brushes against a spot inside you that makes you groan and he ensures to hit that spot with every thrust.

His thumb brushes along the outside of your entrance, and you whimper when he catches a particular spot. He smirks and rolls the pad of his thumb against the spot.

“Does that feel good, milaya? Is your pretty clit all swollen and needy for me to touch it?” The word is unfamiliar to you, but the small nub is eager for more of Aleksander’s attention.

“Yes, oh yes Aleksander please.”

He soon finds a rhythm that makes your legs shake, and you moan and whimper with every one of Aleksander’s touches. Sweat glosses over your skin, and your chest heaves as pleasure overtakes your need to breathe.

Your body tenses, and a warm pool of pleasure settles in your stomach before it plummets downwards quickly.

“Aleksander.”

You whine, grasping at his wrist and staring at him with wide eyes and a puzzled expression.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know. I-”

You whimper, your eyes fluttering closed as the feeling of immense pleasure returns. Aleksander can feel your clenching tightly around his finger, your walls fluttering as pleasure threatens to consume you.

“It’s alright milaya. You’re about to climax. Do you know what that is?”

You shake your head, and the speed of Aleksander’s finger increases, his eyes darkening at the thought of being your first in so many different ways.

“That’s alright,” he assures you, before explaining, “Your pretty little cunt is going to squeeze hard around my finger, drip all over my hand, and you’re going to feel incredibly good.”

His words alone have you moaning his name eagerly. The well mannered, well spoken General speaking to you in such a manner has you reeling. He swipes his thumb over your clit in smooth circles and the pleasure builds steadily within you.

“Can you do that for me, milaya? Feel good for me, and cum around my finger like a good little wife?”

Your voice is a whispered plea of his name, that you repeat over and over again. He holds his finger still as you clench around him, your back arching as he presses his fingertip against that spot inside you.

A broken cry leaves your lips as you reach your peak, before his mouth is on yours. You moan softly against Aleksander’s lips as the pleasure tingles over your skin.

He eases you through the after waves of pleasure, before he pulls his finger out. You feel the loss of it, as your eyes flutter closed, but you’re too busy catching your breath to protest.

When you open your eyes you find Aleksander’s attention is on his finger, his pink tongue lapping at the creamy white proof of your climax. His eyes meet yours, and he sees the surprise on your face.

“Would you like to taste yourself, milaya?”

Your cheeks warm but you nod tentatively.

He chuckles softly and extends his finger towards you. As you lean forward you poke your tongue out, lapping at his large finger with small kitten licks. The salty taste isn’t unpleasant, and you run your tongue over the length of his finger. A small hum leaves your throat as you pull away.

“Good girl,” he murmurs.

He moves away from your body, settling on the bed beside you, and you frown. He smiles softly.

“I won’t overwhelm you on our first night together, milaya.” He presses a kiss to your hairline as you rest your head against his chest. “I want to take my time with you.”

“So, what now?” you ask softly, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone as you sink into his embrace. Your mind is still fuzzy with pleasure and clinging onto him is the only thing grounding you.

“In a moment, I’ll call for a servant to run you a bath, and to change the sheets.”

Your cheeks burn, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you press your face hard against his chest. Even as you cover your face with your hands, you can still feel Aleksander chuckling beneath you.

Once he’s gone quiet, he pries your hands away from your face and regards you tenderly.

“No one will question the status of our marriage.”

He brushes a hair from your cheek, and you give him a small smile, before you kiss his lips softly. The first kiss you had ever initiated with him. His smile widens.

When the servants arrive, you’re sitting at the vanity table wearing one of Aleksander’s bath robes. He issues a few requests, and you can hear one servant pouring the water into the bath tub whilst another pulls back the bedsheets.

You frown when a tray is placed on the table in front of you, and lift a brow towards Aleksander. He stands behind you, his chest against your back as he says quietly,

“You didn’t eat much at dinner.”

You’re surprised he had noticed such a thing, your reception had been demanding for the both of you.

“I was a little nervous,” you reason.

He leans over, lifting up the metal covering to reveal the contents of the tray. A smile blooms over your lips, and you tilt your head back to look at him. Aleksander’s eyes sparkle as he smiles down at you.

Two slices of cake sit on their own delicate china plates, with a pot of tea and two teacups, as well as milk and sugar. Not just any cake either - your wedding cake.

Aleksander drops a kiss to your shoulder.

It’s likely the servants are exchanging looks. It’s likely they see the smile on your face, and the glow of your skin. No doubt they will tell all the others that the General and his wife are madly in love. When Aleksander looks at you with such adoration in his eyes, it’s hard for you to not believe that as well.

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity

[padfootagain]

The Last Ones On Earth (IV)

Chapter 4: An Age

Hello, hello! Here is a new chapter for my Darkling series!

I hope you like it! Let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warnings for the series: mentions and depictions of violence and warfare, mentions of trauma

Warnings for the chapter: None

Summary: You and the Darkling are a team, even if no one knows it. Beyond being a team, you are the only one he trusts, and he's the only one you care about, and you're each other's true love. But if you've kept your secrets hidden for a long time, now that the Sun Summoner is fighting against you, it's time to reveal who you are, and what you are capable of...

Word Count: 2744

Masterlist for the series – The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Alina stares at you as if you were a ghost. Or perhaps a dragon. Or a strange mix of both.

You give her a minute to register your words, you can almost call them a threat. You doubt that she’s weighing her options, though. You reckon she simply tries to understand what your words mean.

And then it’s back. The pride in her gaze, the rise in her chin, the tightness in her jaw.

Stupid girl who believes herself important…

“You say you want to talk, and yet you use threats already.”

“Who was put in chains to see you again?” you reply with amused sarcasm.

“And we were clearly right to mistrust you,” Zoya crosses her arms before her chest, her beautiful features slightly distorted by anger.

“Indeed!” you shoot her a smile. “It was pretty reckless to let me see all of you so easily.”

“David vouched for you,” Genya replies in a grim fashion, and David averts his eyes to stare at the carpet.

But your smile softens as you turn to him.

“Thank you, David. That was very nice of you.”

You turn towards Alina again. You notice that her hands ae touching.

Your smile grows, this time, more threatening, almost predatory.

“Child, let’s not make a mess. I simply want to talk, I haven’t come to hurt anyone.”

“Say that to the soldiers outside.”

“Collateral damage, I’m afraid,” you shrug. “I’m not going to hurt anyone in this room, I promise.”

“If you side with the Darkling, is your word worth anything?”

You raise a surprised eyebrow.

“If you truly knew him, you’d know how foolish that remark is. The Darkling is a lot of things, but he does stay true to his words.”

“And by ‘a lot of things’, you do include mass murderer, of course,” Nikolai points out.

“Coming from a man whose main occupations are pirating and inventing mass-destruction weaponry, I do find the remark particularly ironic.”

But you heave a sigh, tired of losing time you don’t have. There is too much work to do. Grisha to rescue, friends to bury, a whole nation to lead…

“Now, please, Alina. Again, I will not hurt you, so come sit down so we can talk.”

“I’ve never liked you,” the girl mumbles under her breath, her hands slowly moving, and you can see glow coming from her fingertips.

You roll your eyes.

“If I fought every person I didn’t like, only three people in this room would still be alive, including me. And you would not be breathing anymore, Starkov. But as I can’t choke you to death with my bare hands the way I truly long to, please, don’t do anything stupid and sit down.”

With a frustrated sigh, Alina closes her fists, but lets her power subside, and at long last, joins the gathering around the wooden table again.

“We will not yield when it comes to destroying the Fold,” Alina stubbornly declares.

“I am aware of repeating myself, but it will not work without the Fold,” you reply.

“You cannot destroy entire villages!”

“You cannot force people to change if you give them a chance to remain as they are.”

“People can change.”

“They can,” you nod in agreement. “But most of the time, they don’t want to. Why would they? If what you are asking for goes against their own interest, why would they change?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

You snort at that.

“Please… Don’t be so naïve. Of course, some people have enough compassion to not hurt Grisha. But the majority will take centuries to reach this kind of tolerance. And in the meantime, people are dying. Our people.”

“We are all Ravkan,” Nikolai argues.

“Are we? Because when I was arrested by your men a few weeks ago and kept in a cage without water, food, or anything against the cold for three days, waiting to be executed that more Grisha were captured because, and I quote ‘it would be a waste of energy to set up the gallows just for a couple of them’… without any sort of trial or justice whatsoever, I did not feel very Ravkan… but I did feel very much Grisha.”

Nikolai doesn’t answer, instead he looks guiltily at his hands.

“I don’t care about Ravka,” you answer in honesty. “I don’t care about Shu Han, I don’t care about Fjerda, or any other nation. At the end of the day, we are all humans. And we are Grisha, and otkazat’sya. The Fold is not to be used as a threat against Ravka alone, that’s the whole point. It’s the only weapon in our possession that is powerful enough for all Grisha to be safe, no matter where they come from.”

“I do not condone what has been done to you,” Nikolai finally speaks, his voice slow and measured. “But if people are turning against Grisha, it is because of the Darkling’s actions.”

You roll your eyes at that.

“This has been going on for centuries, it is nothing new, they simply have an excuse to do as they please without any repercussion, and they enjoy their newly-found freedom to slaughter all the Grisha they want. It happens again, and again. We have tried to be useful, we have tried to prove people we are no threat, we have tried working hand in hand with kings, and it doesn’t work. The Fold is our last chance.”

“You speak as if you had done all of that, but you are barely older than us,” Zoya spits in a venomous tone. “Who do you think you are, Maeve?”

“Y/N,” you interrupt her.

The girl frowns.

“What?”

“My real name is Y/N. Maeve is only my latest identity, I’ve had many of those before.”

Suddenly, Alina’s eyes grow round, and she finally seems afraid of you.

At long last, some intelligence…

“Are you a spy?” David asks, taken aback by your statement.

But you shake your head.

“Not exactly.”

“You are like him.”

All turn to Alina as she speaks again, her voice uneasy.

“You said you are a powerful Durast.”

“Incredibly powerful,” you correct her.

“You are like the Darkling.”

“Aleksander. That’s his name.”

He’ll hate you for saying it out loud, for revealing something so personal about him.

Aleksander. His first name, his true one. The one only you and Baghra know. The one that tastes of the young man you met all these years ago, unconscious in the snow somewhere near Fjerda…

 All around the table frown. As if they never wondered what his name was. And perhaps they truly never cared to wonder. Perhaps the title was enough. It’s easier, anyway, to stare at a man you send to die on a battlefield and see only a rank, a title, and not the human wearing it. It’s easier too to kill an enemy if he is but a shadow, a symbol, and not an actual breathing man.

You lean a little over the table, your forearms resting on the hard surface, your fingers intertwining together.

“Aleksander and I are extremely powerful Grisha. Just like you, Alina. Just like Baghra. Just like Saints.”

“I don’t understand,” Mal admits.

“Grisha draw great strengths from using their powers. The more powerful you are, the better your health. Some of us are so powerful, we are virtually immortal. Or, well, if you smash my head with a sword, I will die. But I barely age at all. I can leave for thousands of years.”

“Bullshit,” Nikolai curses.

“I’m afraid not. It is a great curse, indeed. But power always has a cost.”

“Some would consider themselves lucky to never age. Especially my mother, considering all her efforts to hide her true age…”

“Well, my dear prince, your mother has not seen people dying for hundreds of years.”

Again, Nikolai looked away.

“You said that Alina was like that too…” Mal insists, and you don’t fail to notice the way Alina flees his gaze.

“Indeed. She will without a doubt outlive all of you, and your descendants on many generations.”

“If it’s so unbearable, why are you still alive? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you and the Darkling had given up,” Zoya adds bitterly.

But when you turn to her, your stare is filled with a cold fire that shushes her.

“Many powerful Grisha kill themselves, after a while, after it’s too much to see all the people you love die over and over again. Aleksander and I were lucky, we found each other. And don’t forget that without our efforts, the Little Palace would not exist and Grisha would have never known any type of safety. We were the first to manage to live for longer than a couple of years at the same place, while using our powers, and remain safe.”

“You speak as if you were there when the Little Palace was built,” David frowns.

“I was there,” you correct him. “I built the place. Literally. I am a Fabrikator, after all.”

“You do expect us to believe you?” Mal scoffs, but Alina shushes him quickly. And you can see on the faces of the others that their opinion of you changes as they realize that Alina does, indeed, believe you.

And rightly so. After all, you are telling the truth. The way you had planned to do.

You choose your next words carefully.

“I have seen the same pattern again and again. I know what will happen, because I have seen it before. I have tried every other way to help Grisha: hiding, fighting, being useful, being tamed, being strong… it doesn’t work. It never works, because otkazat’sya are afraid of our power, because they feel different and thus frightened. You ask me to wait, that we are in no rush to change the world, but I have been working towards that goal for hundreds of years. I am not in a rush, I am patient, indeed. But things must change, eventually. And we have an opportunity here that will never present itself again for things to finally go the way we want.”

You heave a sigh, and you seem tired now. Despite your face untouched by the many years you have spent on this earth, there is something new in your gaze, a sadness that doesn’t fit the youth of your features. It seems ancient, brought by a pain too great to have occurred in only a lifetime.

“If you want proof, I can tell you everything you want to know. I’ll tell you how Aleksander and I met. How we ran. How we hid. How we fought. All the things that we tried to help Grisha and how it always failed. How we were betrayed and how we survived. If it can prove my point, then so be it.”

“How old are you?” Alina asks after a short silent.

Her voice is cautious, slow. As if she’s afraid of your answer. And perhaps she is. She should be. After all, it shows how powerful you are, how much of a threat you can be. To her, who is doomed to a deathless life as well, it also means facing the truth about her lover.

Your smile is smug when your lips curl upwards and you answer.

“I’ll turn 889 in a couple of months.”

Over 400 years ago

Os Alta – over the grounds of the royal Palace

Your hands moved relentlessly in those days. There was so much work to be done. You had help, of course, from otkazat’sya workers but also from other Fabrikators. It was the name that was chosen for the Grisha sharing your powers, along with a colour: purple, like the petals of flowers, like berries, like poisons…

But on this room, your work was to be done in solitude. No one could know about the changes you were bringing to Aleksander’s War Room. It would protect you from eavesdroppers, fire, and many other threats. It would be a safe room. Even if Aleksander’s plan in the army seemed to be working for now, you reckoned you couldn’t stop being cautious. You needed safety, as always.

“You are working too late, my love.”

The warm voice filled your heart with something both peaceful and excited. You couldn’t refrain a smile as you turned to your husband, who was walking inside the room and closing the door behind him.

“You must rest,” he insisted, but you shook your head.

“I am perfectly fine. Besides, I can’t work on this room during the day, it’s too risky.”

Of course, he knew you were right. Still, he wished you could rest more, he wished you could be safe and wouldn’t have to hide…

Soon. He hoped it could be soon. With this safe haven you were building together, it could be the answer to everything. Perhaps it could even be a home…

You chuckled fondly as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you close.

“You’re distracting me!” you complained in faked annoyance, and Aleksander knew perfectly what you were doing.

“You love it.”

“I do not! I am busy!”

“And I am tired and long for a good night of sleep in a comfortable bed with my beloved wife.”

“Is it not too risky?”

“We are safe for now, let’s enjoy it, while it lasts.”

“Do you think this could be it? That we could finally remain safe?”

“I do not know. I hope so.”

“But we’re both too old for foolish hopes, huh?”

You exchanged a sad smile.

“We should not be seen as a couple,” Aleksander went on, and he knew he was breaking your heart a little by saying that, the same way he was breaking his own. “It would be too dangerous.”

“I agree. We are both powerful, we will live long lives… It would be too frightening for the otkazat’sya.”

“Build us a room where we can be ourselves, my love. We will pretend the rest of the time.”

You turned in his arms to face him, and his hand immediately raised to rest over your cheek.

“I’ll make you pay for that,” you warned him, and he raised a surprised eyebrow.

“Really? Will you? And how could I repay this debt towards my favourite Fabrikator?”

“An awful lot of kisses will be required. And some cakes. Lots of sweets.”

You both laughed at that, despite your shared tiredness, despite all the things you had been through. A bright laugh made of bright hope, a fool’s hope perhaps, but hope all the same. The sounds filled up the empty room, and echoed in its blank space.

“So, we’ll hide that we are married?” you asked after growing quiet again, and Aleksander nodded, although you could see it pained him to do so.

“It’s safer this way. If I am to step up, I will have many enemies.”

You nodded, tugging your head on his chest, so he could rest his chin on you.

“We’ll make it work,” you reassured him, feeling the tension in his body, the fear too. “We’ll make it work, Aleks.”

“I know. I’m just… worried that you might… that I might lose you.”

“You won’t lose me. I’ll be right there. And I’ll steal an awful lot of kisses in this room.”

“Is it safe already?”

“Safe enough for us to have this conversation, yes.”

“Can you lock the door?”

“Already done it.”

He chuckled.

“You’re getting good at using your powers without moving your hands.”

“I still had to move a finger, but my hands didn’t touch.”

“That’s my wife. So powerful.”

But he felt you tensing in his gentle hold.

“It will be worth it, right? All these moments together we’ll have to sacrifice, all this fighting, all this work… tell me it will be worth it. Tell me we’ll make it.”

He took your face in both his hands to force you to look up at him.

“It will be worth it,” he assured you, and in his dark eyes, you saw no lies nor doubts. “We will make it through. You and me, the way we have planned. The way we promised each other we would.”

“Until we’re the last ones on Earth?” you still asked in a trembling voice, even if you didn’t doubt him.

He nodded, a smile on his lips as he pulled you in a tight hold again.

“Until we’re the last ones on Earth, my love.”

*****************************************

Taglist : @reg-arcturus-black @wolfmoonmusic @budugu @sayumiht

[euphoniumpets]

Triplets | Nikolai Lanstov x Yul Bataar! Reader

Summary: Growing up, you had to work to manipulate water. You weren't talanted like your brother or sister. You had a hard time to controlling the water when you were younger at that point before you became a powerful Tidemaker. After joining the Second Army and seperated your siblings to be a pirate, the three of you joined together again when a certian captain catches your eye.

Requested? Yes: Could i request a nikolai lantsov x yul bataar!reader? perhaps when tolya and tamar joined sturmhond, she went on a separate way choosing to be a pirate who helps the poor or captured & fighting unjust leaders. one day, for a huge mission sturmhond finds that he needs to team up with an able outside crew to succeed smoothly. after initial reluctance out of protectiveness, the twins finally suggest reader. she's a little opposite from the twins, being more quiet, but tough and able to lead her crew. throughout the mission she and sturmhond slowly bond over humor & passion for justice n they fall completely head over heels for each other and stuff.

A/N: so, I made the reader a Tidemaker since I wanted her to be like katara from the Avatar lol because she's so badass but yet so quiet and her wits.

Warnings: none? Just y/n being a badass and her crew too.

After the war, you seperated from your siblings to go into the unknown. You've always longed for the sea and helping others and it has been years since you've saw them. You missed them dearly, but you always got the necklace that you got from them to remind that they were always with you.

Not long after, people got to knew the waterbending pirate throughout the seas. They began to grow afraid and you were the most powerful Grisha that they ever seen.

Your crew was tiny compared to the others, but they always underestimated by the different Grisha powers they held when they fought together.

Tolya and Tamar kept touch with you often as they could and you heard about Sturmhond and his stories and the adventures they had with them. So, when they reached out to you since he needed help to help the Sun Summoner and to find her amplifiers, you didn't waste a second to accept the mission.

Plus it was a win situation since you got to be reunited with them again.

-

Back at the ship when Sturmhond (Nikolai) had suggested that they needed a bigger crew and alliances against the Darkling, Tolya noticed immedietly when his twin looked at him with a knowing look. He knew what Tamar was asking if their younger sister would help them.

However, being the older and the protective one, he argued with Tamar that she could get hurt and the only response he got was that she can take care of herself.

Nikolai cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows toward the twins in front of them. He knew that they were talking through their eyes and he couldn't help but be curious. ''We know one, she's a pirate and she can be trusted,''

''A pirate?'' Alina questioned and narrwowed her eyes before it trailed to Nikolai. ''Or a privateer?''

Tamar chuckled as Nikolai rolled his eyes. ''A pirate,'' Tolya remarked with a smirk on his face. ''Also a Grisha, you might've heard the stories,''

''I might heard of her, she's a powerful tidemaker isn't she?'' Nikolai questioned. ''Yes, and she's our sister,'' Tamar replied. ''Alright, send her a message to meet somewhere and we will go through the plan with the amplifiers,'' Nikolai ordered them as they nodded before dismissing the meeting.

-

After recieving the date and the place, you couldn't grow excited since you was going to reunite with your brother and sister again. You met Sturmhond outside of the East Ravka where you guys settled down low for the night before the mission of finding the Sea Whip.

Tamar and Tolya had talked to you about the captain before gathering everybody around in the meeting room. ''Alright, thanks to our sun summoner's tracking friend over here,'' Sturmhond replied and gestured toward Mal, next to Alina before turning back to you.

He was surprised to finally meet the powerful Tidemaker he had heard stories of, only to realize that she was, well, small. He didn't know what to expect but you were different pirate of what he had seen.

''We've traversed the Bone Road to the island of Jelka,'' He explained as you looked down at the map. He watched you study the map quietly. ''As for the Sea Whip, we have some storybrook drawings, not telling what it looks like, rule of thimb for the unknown!''

-

After preparing the soldiers for finding the Sea Whip, you led your crew down to the caves along with Sturmhond and the sun summoner. Your second hand Natalia, who was a Squaller was next right to you and as your other hand, Ilya who was a Durast.

However, despite him being a Grisha, he carried a sword behind his back. He reminded you of his brother when you met him for the first time when you saved him by the Grisha hunters and would always act that he's older even though he's just eighteen years old.

You knew the captain was uncertian of bringing a child to the mission, but you assured him that he was more capable than he thought Ilya was, who was offended that the captain called him a child.

''There are holes in the cave floor, so, I'd be careful where you step, otherwise, no,'' You remarked after checking the water down below. ‘’No, you can’t tell, or no, there’s nothing in there?’’ Mal asked you.

‘’Whichever makes you feel more comfortable,’’ Tolya remarked. 

‘’Comfort is overrated,’’ Tamar commented, giving you a smirk on her face before turning to the crew. A strange noise appeared and you raised your hands up to prepare if the Sea Whip would charge against you.

With a shocking surprise, one of the crew got snatched by the Sea Whip. ‘’Drop the nets! Aim to kill!’’ One of them spoke. ''And here I thought that we were supposed to follow the Sun Summoners orders, do not harm the Sea whip,'' You demanded with a firm voice and looked around to spot the Sea Whip.

‘’I couldn’t see us, it’s toying with us,’’ Sturmhond replied. ‘’Conserve your ammo, or we’ll be dry by the time we need it,’’ You gasped when the Sea Whip dragged another crew. Through the corner of your eyes, you saw the Sea Whip lunge toward the Sun Summoner. ''Alina!'' You heard Mal exclaim before you used your hands to send a powerful wave against the Sea Whip.

The Sea Whip growled before it tossed to the side and it was about to charge towards you before you raised your hands and made the water knock the Sea Whip away from you. The Sea Whip went back to the water again. ‘’It sounds like it’s everywhere,’’ Sturmhond spoke as you all huddled back together and you accidentally bumped into his shoulder.

You and Sturmhond met each other's eyes before falling back to the water, focusing at the task in front of you. It was a moment of silent before the Sea Whip showed up and began to charge toward Mal against the walls. ''Mal!'' You heard Alina shout as you sent another wave to knock the Sea Whip away from Mal.

However, the Sea Whip turned toward you with a growl and was about to lunge toward you before Alina used her powers against it.

‘’It’s dead,’’ Sturmhond replied and you met his gaze before you looked at the Sea Whip in front of you.

All of you was back on the ship while placing the amplifiers on Alina's wrist and the sky had turned dark. As Alina's powers grew stronger by the minute they placed the amplifiers on her.

‘’Well, then, where to now, Sun Summoner?’’ 

-

Not long after, Alina and her tracker went back to bed, trying to get some rest before you all were going to take down the Fold. You and the rest of Sturmhond's crew stayed awake as they chatted with each other and let out drunken laughs with each other.

You, however, watched your people getting know Sturmhond's people from above the deck. ''Why are you not joining with your crew?'' You heard his voice as he approached you from behind.

''I could ask you the same,'' You retorted with a grin on your face as he stood next to you. ''You know, when I first met you, you threw me off,'' Sturmhond replied, making you look at him. ''Really?''

''Yes, by all the terrifing stories I've heard about a powerful tidemaker, I never thought that you would be so...''

''Small,'' He finished as you let out a laugh at his statement. ''And here I thought, I was making the wrong statement,'' You replied. ''Oh, really? What was your impression of me?'' Sturmhond replied with a smirk on his face. ''That I was handsome?''

''Quite the opposite,'' You replied and letting out a sigh before turning to him. ''I thought you would be one of these nasty pirates,''

''I'm offended by your statement, besides, I'm a privateer,'' Sturmhond retorted, giving you a look. ''Well, not as much you offended Illya today, you know, for someone who's been knowing him long, he won't be keeping his mouth shut,''

''Is he always talkactive?'' Sturmhond replied and looked down at the teenager. ''Believe me, he wouldn't keep his mouth shut sometimes,'' You grunted, remembering the time on how many times Ilya would keep talking during the fights.

Back down at the dock where Tamar looked up and saw you and their captain talk with each other as she heard your laugh and the doe eyes that Nikolai sent you when you wasn't looking at him, Tamar knew that Nikolai was absolutley smitten by you.

''I bet 20 Kruge that they will confess their love by the end of this mission,'' Tolya commented, noticing Tamar's look on the lovebirds above them.

''By the end of the month? please, I bet 20 Kruge that he will confess his love when we fight against the General,'' Ilya commented, making Natalia roll her eyes.

''I'm with Tolya, Y/N's way too stubborn to confess her love so early,'' Natalia remarked.

''Oh, really? You wanna bet on this?'' Ilya challanged them.

''Why not? 20 Kruge goes to the person who had right if our captain will confess his love for y/n,'' Tolya remarked.

''Y/N is definitly going to hate us if she finds out,''

''Oh, definitly,''

[stromuprisahat]

What would have wanted Mal to do differently for him to be a good love interest to Alina? Especially in the situation where Alina somehow decides to go along with the Darkling's plan?

He isn't bad love interest, he's bad endgame presented as happily ever after, instead of intimate horror-in-making.

His change of heart would happen on-page, not in between two books, while living in religious fucking cult.

I'd address both his and Alina's anti-Grisha bias and the issues they developed in their culty orphanage, realize it was actually pretty far from idealisation-worthy. I don't expect either of them to completely overcome it- that sort of "deprogramming" should take more than a few months, certainly not weeks.

I'd want them to realize harmfulness of their codependency and work on that too. Not so their relationship can become pristine, but because it limits them both (as characters AND human beings).

I'd want them truly genuinely supportive of each other, not just feeding off each other's bad habits and insecurities.

While their relationship isn't good for either of them, Malyen's the one with upper hand- he IS Alina's abuser. Even if he would genuinely work on himself, Alina isn't obliged to stay with him, and that's what I'd want.

I hate the implication she owes him anything, because he's "nice" now.

I wouldn't mind them staying in touch- again- should he TRULY change- as friends, family, whatever you want to call it-, but they simply don't work as a couple and they have history so convoluted there would always be quite a danger they'll slip back into their harmful patterns.

Malyen's set up as the romantic relationship Alina's supposed to grow out of. Again- it hardly makes him bad love interest, they merely should let go.

For Alina to choose to work alongside Aleksander, she's need to be less prejudiced, and that's what I mentioned above. It's all intertwined. Changing Alina might influence Malyen. She might be less likely to succumb to their usual patterns of bahaviour, or it might be noticed by others and the disproportion between that and her status of Sun Summoner might be the impulse needed to dig her heels in and continue her positive development.

[heaven4lostgirls]

heya!

can you do part 3 for that angst to fluff kirigan fic, i would love to see it! love your writing btw <3

Magnetic Forces

general kirigan x fem!reader

warnings: angst!!!, fluff near the end, jealousy, happy ending. kind of a toxic representaion of kirigan and readers relationship

a/n: i missed writing sm, thank you for your request ml, i thought i would have taken this into a more happy direction but oh well.

word count: 1.2k

“You have to know I will not sit by idle as you parade Alina around as if she means more to you than I do.” You state matter-of-factly. You weren’t used to people fighting for you, let alone fighting to be with you. Alina may have been the sun summoner, but you couldn’t handle people acting as if she was better than the rest of them. You knew and were well accustomed to how she grew up and were even better adjusted to feeling less than your counterparts.

Kirigan’s eyes shone with hesitancy, but your unwavering stature made him realise that this was a non-negotiable, it was up to him to prove whether or not it he meant what he said. He nodded somewhat reluctantly and although you felt some guilt pooling in your stomach, willing your urge to please him to go away, you stood strong.

Mal and Alina stood behind Kirigan and seemed to be engaging in a hushed conversation, your eyes followed their movements with a calculated gaze, whatever they were talking about seemed important. Aleksander, noticing your attention was astray from your current conversation followed your eyes to the couple. His eyes somewhat hardened, you felt his posture tense and in confusion you lifted your hand to place on his kefta covered chest, his eyes moved to your figure and his lips twitched at your innocent expression.

“The tracker” he stated bluntly. “He touched you too much” he sniffed arrogantly, and you weren’t able to disguise the fondness in your gaze. “He was a means to an end” you used his words against him and even though his pride did not allow him to show his admiration for you to be able to call him on his hypocrisy his lips again twitched as he intertwined your arms as together you both made your way over to Mal and Alina.

Alina looked somewhat at your abrupt joint of their once private conversation but nonetheless looked at you both with a welcoming expression as Mal’s eyes glared at your…partner? And as did the man next to you at the tracker. You and Alina both looked exasperated at one another at their tense postures as some sort of way to show off their masculinity. What was it with them?

Aleksander then cleared his throat before he looked at Alina and Mal. “I wanted to introduce you both to my beloved, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She is an Inferni, I’m sure you two have seen each other during your training hours, she is one of the best Grisha under my wing.” Your chest puffs out in pride at his praise however Alina looks to Aleksander in confusion.

“Beloved? But you kisse- “Alina is abruptly cut off as Aleksander’s hand releases your arm to grasp onto hers, you and Alina both gasp audibly as Mal moves to protect Alina however before he can get there Kirigan just as fast, lets go as if nothing had happened. “There is no need to iscuss the past Miss Starkov.” Alina frowns at his formal address. You look between the both of them in scepticism.

“What were you going to say Alina?” you ask before Kirigan can sweep you both away to talk politics with other individuals. She gulps and looks away from Aleksanders piercing glare basically warning her from answering your questions however she shamefully whispers a sentence that alone breaks your heart into a million pieces. “We kissed, the night he summoned me to his chambers” you drop your hand from Kirigans and look at him in anxiety, praying silently for him to deny her claim.

However instead of that he ducks his head and releases a harsh breath. You shake your head as tears fill your eyes, your breath becomes laboured as you feel a hollow feeling encompass your chest as you struggle to breathe. “How- “Your distraught gaze pierces the darkness that covers Kirigan’s heart, and he can’t help but let out an involuntary whimper. “How dare you” your voice is wobbly and painful to hear, and you silently berate yourself for making a scene at an event that should have been a celebration.

Aleksander moves to grasp your hand again, yet you move away from him swiftly and make you way to the door of the hall, whilst avoiding the curious gaze of onlookers. You can hear Kirigan’s swift steps behind you as he calls your name brokenly in hope of you listening to him, you ignore him and make your way to your chambers.

You attempt to close and lock the door behind you, but Kirigan has other plans as he stops the door closing by a swift inch and as his red rimmed eyes meet yours you sink to your plush blue bed as your ears fill with static and you sob into your hands.  Kirigan drops to his knees before you as he attempts to uncover your tear stricken face and although you resist with all you might his broken pleas fill the air. “Please, please hear me out, I-it didn’t mean anything. D-don’t leave me please let me explain”.

Your attempt to let his pleas fall on deaf ears are not achieved as you lift your eyes to see his dark eyes filled with pain and you softly shake his hold on you as you quietly ask him. “I need time.” You tell him bluntly and his heart drops from his chest as his eyes widen, shaking his head as his thoughts race, you can’t mean what he thinks you mean. He surely couldn’t have lost you just before he had been able to win you over, please tell him you’re joking.

Shaking his head violently you can’t help but whimper at his anguished face as his sobs are unable to be hid. “Please don’t leave me” he cries in a broken voice and your decision is almost swayed by the pure pain in his voice “Don’t let me lose you, I-I just got you, please. I don’t think I’ll be able to live without you” he pleas and your eyes widen at his confession and your hands grasp his face suddenly. “I am noy leaving you my love, I need time to be alone, I want to work on this, but I need time.” You tell him as you watch his shaking form find relief and calm down near instantly at your reassurance and you smile down at him.

“We were not together, I do not fault you, but I know I will never forgive myself if I do not take time away from this situation.” The more you talk, the more he understands, and you can feel his slight nodding through your encapsulation of his face. “I will do better, please believe me I will do better for you” his gaze looks almost akin to a puppy begging to be praised and your lovesick heart lets you know that everything is likely to be okay.

As time passes after your conversation in your chambers Aleksander starts spending more time around you and his subtle touches are often hard to ignore. He is trying, more than he’s ever had to for someone and he finds himself filled with butterflies whenever you choose to acknowledge his presence whether it be in public or private. Life becomes somewhat quaint and simple as Aleksander and Alina plan on breaking down the fold and he often finds himself thinking of new ways to surprise you with lavish gifts or teenage date nights rather than focusing on the task he needs to be paying attention to at the current time. And slowly but surely you both make your way back to one another like magnets constantly trying to be separated however always finding their way back together.

[bookishdream]

flame

Matthias girlies, this one is for you <3

Matthias didn’t know when he fell for her. She was awfully sarcastic, even when the situation was serious. She was laughing louder than any girl in Fjerda ever did. But she was always there for him, when he needed her. After the Ice Court mission, when Kaz and the gang rescued her from the prison, she understood him like no one ever had. When Matthias was waking up from one of his recurring nightmares, she was the first one, who he sought. One night, Matthias knew he fell for her, and the thought scared him, because he was supposed to kill her kind; hunt them, so their criminal tendencies wouldn’t put normal people, his people, in danger. But one of these nights, when the dream was so vivid, he realized that she was his person, and there was no turning back from that. 

They were hiding at this cemetery, whose name Matthias couldn’t care less to learn. After their seldom successful mission, Kaz was planning how to get Inej out of Van Eck’s imprisonment, Jesper was sorting out issues with his father and Matthias was trying to bury his feelings, deep down with the corpses already inhabiting the grounds that they were on. 

“Are you okay Matthias?” He hated how polite you were. Every time you asked for his permission when you wanted to touch him, or clean his wound that he got from punching the gravestone. And you’d never used your powers on him. For a Grisha, you weren’t using your powers much, and Matthias had never paid attention to the reason why, hell, he didn’t even know what kind of witch you were. “You seem lost in your thoughts.”

“I’m fine” he snapped, regretting it seconds after when you flinched at his tone. He let out a shaky breath, noticing how he could actually see his own breath. Then he took a note of you shivering. Matthias took one of the moldy blankets that Kaz brought there a few days ago, and wrapped the material around your shoulders. 

“Thanks” you let out a weak laugh. His chest filled with a sour feeling, despising how he couldn’t help you more. He considered wrapping his own arms around you, and sharing his warmness, but he didn’t expect you to appreciate the gesture, after his awful treatment. “I wish I had my powers back” you murmured. 

“Back?” he questioned, sending you a confused look. You chuckled at his face, rubbing your ice cold hands. 

“In the Ice Court, they were torturing me to the point, where my Inferni powers just…” you trailed off. Matthias looked at you, your tangled hair, your bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under your eyes. “I don’t know what exactly they did, but I cannot even make a spark.” 

“Y/N” he whispered. You raised your eyes at him, sending a bolt of energy down his spine. “I am so sorry”

“It’s okay, Matthias” you took his hand. He could feel how cold your palms were, putting his other hand on the top of yours. “You weren’t there”

“Might’ve as well could be” he was still whispering, scared that if he raised his voice, you’d stop talking. “Those were my people that did this to you. That still do this to other Grishas”

“You cannot change this, love” his heart swelled at the term of endearment leaving your mouth. “You’re no longer like them Matthias, you have changed”

“But I cannot erase my past”

“Indeed, but you can change your future.” He didn’t know when you got closer to him, when your other hand was holding his forearm, when only one turn of either of your heads would lead to unbelievable things. “You’re better than them”

“Do you really think so?” his voice was full of hope, his eyes were locked with yours and he could see little flames burning in them. 

“Well, you did save me. Doesn’t that make you a changed man?”

He couldn’t wait any longer, his lips were on yours faster than he could think of the repercussions of his actions. Your lips were cold, and neither of you were moving, waiting for someone to do the next step. You took out your palm out of Matthias’s hold and when he thought you would move away from him, you placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him even closer. He sighed straight in your lips, and kissed you, this time harder. One of his hands was squeezing your waist, under the blanket and you shiver at the feeling of his cold, rough fingertips, touching your bare skin. The second one was on your neck, caressing it. The forgotten blanket was pooled around you, creating a nest. When you parted, your breaths were mixing and your lips were swollen, but both of you were smiling at each other. 

“You have flames in your eyes” he said, placing the blanket around your shoulders again. You smiled at him, embracing him. 

“And you have a flame in your soul, Matthias” 

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Soothing Rain of His: Chapter VII - The Winter Fete

Chapter Summary: The biggest party of the year arrives and Alina is attraction of the show. Once, you would cheer her on. But you feel she's stealing Aleksander from you. Things between you and him are on the edge. Will your love prevail? Or will you leave and break your hearts?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Ivan, Alina Starkov, Nadia Zhabin, Genya Safin, Marie, Fedyor Kaminsky

Word Count: 4425

A/N: This chapter contains some plot from fifth episode of season one. Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089584627/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684667/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684644/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683684/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683626/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089559817/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683636/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089559893/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

It's been months since Alina came to the Little Palace. You knew things would change, but you didn't know they would do it that much. Because now you've been barely spending time with Aleksander. Sure, he still shows you he loves you whenever you two are alone. Kisses. Smiles. Laughing. But you can't remember the last time you two went somewhere together. Or you were kidnapped because you used to be his servant. You missed this all (maybe except for the kidnapping part). You missed him.

The day of the winter fete arrives. It's probably the most lavish party of the year, held at the Little Palace towards the end of the winter season. During it, among other festivities, some Grisha demonstrate their powers to the delight of the gathered.

That day, you are in Alina's room with her, Nadia and Marie. You, the Sun Summoner and the Squaller are having a blast, laughing at the poor Inferni, who panicked when she was asked on a date.

'I panicked,' she tries to defend herself. 'Nobody's ever asked to spend time with me before.'

'So you set him on fire?' Alina asks and you cackle.

'It was an accident,' Marie insists.

'The Squallers had to launch him right into the lake,' Nadia says

'So, set ablaze, then nearly drowned,' Alina says. 'You've made quite a first impression.'

Marie groans, touching her forehead. The rest of you laugh. Just then the door opens and Genya walks in with a servant.

'Hi, Genya,' you all say.

'They need you for the kefta,' Genya says to Marie.

'No, I'm so late,' Marie says and dashes for the door. 'Nadia, come on!'

Nadia follows her, slower, and soon they leave the room. You stand up from your seat and smile at Alina.

'I better get going, too,' you say and head toward the door. 'See you all later!'

'I hope you'll like your kefta,' Genya calls after you.

'I'm sure I will!' you assure her and leave the room. But instead of going to your chambers, you take a walk. You watch the preparations for the fete with a smile.

You're not exactly surprised, when in the end your feet take you to Aleksander's chambers. You walk inside, looking around. You don't see him, but you hear a voice from the bedroom:

'Ivan! My kefta!'

You notice his kefta on a table. You grab it and enter his bedroom. He turns and stops, seeing you.

'You're not Ivan,' he says.

'Sorry to disappoint,' you say, a teasing smile on your face. Aleksander smiles.

'Your sight is never a disappointment,' he assures you.

'So, I don't have to be jealous about Ivan?' you ask. Aleksander rolls his eyes.

'Ivan has only eyes for Fedyor,' he says and caresses your cheek. 'Just as I have only eyes for you, my love.'

I wish I could believe that…

You shake those thoughts from your head. You smile and present him his kefta.

'May I?' you ask, glancing at it and then at him. He looks at you for a moment. He nods.

'Thank you,' he says and turns around. You walk to him and help him put his arms into the sleeves of the kefta. Then he turns back and you adjust it. There's a soft smile on your face.

'It reminds me of the old times,' you say quietly. 'Do you miss them sometimes?'

'No,' Aleksander answers and you look up at him with surprise. 'You're much more than a servant, [Y/N].'

'Well, I miss that I could spend almost the whole day with you,' you say after a moment. Aleksander cups your cheek.

'Soon, lapushka,' he assures you. 'Soon you will be right by my side for all to see. In a way you deserve.'

You frown. You try to read from his face what he means. But then you hear footsteps and you both pull away.

Alina enters the bedroom. She stops, seeing you.

'Oh, sorry for interrupting,' she apologises. You force a smile and shake your head.

'You're not,' you assure her and glance at Aleksander, whose eyes are already focused on Alina. 'I have to go anyway.'

'I can't wait for your performance,' Kirigan says, as you walk toward the door. You turn to him and roll your eyes.

'Oh, please,' you say and link your arms with Alina. 'We all know you can't wait for Alina's performance, not mine.'

'I can't wait for both performances,' Aleksander insists.

'See how is he sweet-talking me?' you ask, leaning to Alina. 'It means he will want something from me later.'

Alina chuckles. Aleksander sighs and gives you an exasperated look.

'Fine, fine, don't look at me like that, I'm going,' you say, separating yourself from Alina. You turn and start walking.

'[Y/N],' Aleksander stops you. 'I'm sure you will do splendidly.'

You shoot him a grateful smile and nod. Then, you turn and leave. Smile falls from your face as soon as you leave his chambers. Because deep down you don't want to leave the two of them alone. In his chambers.

*

You chat and laugh with your fellow Tidemakers during the fete. You still feel out of place sometimes, but among them you are more at ease. And they're the ones that accept you the most.

Suddenly, a fireball flies over the guests' heads. They gasp and look around. You smile slightly, watching how the Inferni twins, Polina and Pavel, throw the fireball to each other. When they're done, the guests clap and cheer.

But the fireball is still in Pavel's hand. And suddenly, he drops it next to him on a podium and a small fire starts. For the guests it looks as if he couldn't control it. So they gasp and panic a bit.

However, suddenly, water extinguishes the fire. And it doesn't disappear. People look around and see you taking Polina's place, your hands brought together.

'You can do it, [Y/N],' a fellow Tidemaker whispers. You small slightly. It's nice of them, but you're still very nervous.

You move your hands and the water raises in the air. You create incredible shapes with it. Animals, flowers, flourishes… People are delighted. But you're not done yet.

Your hands move faster. The water gathers in a one big tank. It starts turning fast. The guests gasp, but the water doesn't splash them. Suddenly, you stop… and the water has taken a shape of a snowflake. You exhale shakily and your hands move slightly. The water starts freezing. People gasp again, when the snowflake doesn't turn into a giant shape made of ice. But instead, a giant snowflake is over their heads. From snow.

You risk a glance at Aleksander. Your heart skips a beat when you see pride in his eyes, as he stares at your display with a smile. However, your smile falls when you see Alina next to him in her new black kefta with golden embroidery. Black. His colours. You know he must have given his permission. He wanted her to wear his colours.

Suddenly, the snowflake bursts. Snow falls on the guests. They cheer and clap, delighted. You force a smile and bow, pretending it was part of a show and not you losing control. You step down and join your friends. They congratulate you and agree that your little 'improvisation' was a much better end of the performance. But you barely hear them.

The applauds dies when Alina and Aleksander take on the stage. Kirigan says something to Alina and turns to the gathered.

'Her name is Alina Starkov,' he says. 'And she will bring liberation to us all.'

He walks down the stage and people part in front of him. He spreads his arms and then clasps them together. Darkness swallows the room in an instant. He motions at Alina and moves away.

Alina takes a few steps forward. She brings her hands together and when she separates them, there's sunlight between them. She creates an orb from it and raises it in the air with one hand. Then, she creates another one with her other hand. She connects them and sends them to the middle of the room, lightning it up.

She looks down at one point. You follow her gaze and see Aleksander. Your heart clenches when you see how he looks at her. With awe, admiration… and something else. Love? You fear it is that.

Alina spreads her arms and the light explodes. Then she brings them together and it disappears. The normal lights come back. Alina smiles, happy with her performance.

People start murmuring 'Sankta Alina'. Some touch their foreheads and their hearts with their fingers. Some kneel.

You can't bring yourself to celebrate the success with others. Your heart is breaking and it hurts so much. But you force yourself to endure the party. You have to take a moment at one point, though, so you step out. But you bump into Alina.

'Oh, sorry!' she says with a smile. Your stomach turns. You force a smile.

'You did wonderfully, Alina,' you say. 'I knew you had it in you.'

'Thank you,' your friend says happily. 'You did well, too. Your performance was just… wow.'

'Thank you,' you chuckle and look at her with, you hope, a teasing look. 'Your kefta is beautiful. Will I be hearing wedding bells soon?'

Please, say 'no'. Please, please, please…

'No, no,' Alina laughs… but blushes and smiles slightly, looking down. She looks at you and bites her lip. She looks around. She grabs your arm and pulls you to the side. You're now really scared.

'Don't tell anyone…' she whispers, '… but I… I kissed him.'

She blushes. And your heart stops. You feel as if you were falling. But you force yourself to stay calm.

'Oh,' you whisper. 'Wow. How brave of you. What about him? Did he… kissed you back?'

You beg her in your mind to deny. But she smiles shyly. You brace for impact.

'Well, not exactly,' she answers and you get ready to sight with relief. 'But he said I had surprised him… and smiled. And laughed. So… maybe… there's a chance for me? I don't know. I… I think I really like him. But I don't know what to do now.'

You don't sigh with relief. Your heart aches. But you force yourself to take Alina's hands in yours. She looks at you, puzzled.

'Hold him gently in your hands,' you say quietly, begging your voice not to crack. 'He has been cracked enough as it is, and his heart is more shattered than he lets on.'

Alina looks at you, stunned. You smile slightly at her and let go of her hands. You quickly walk away from her. Because if you stay, you might cry.

After you calm down you return to the party. You talk with a few Tidemakers. At one point you notice Alina being escorted by two guards.

But then Aleksander shows up in front of them. He says something and then… gives your friend flowers. Alina smells the flowers and smiles. She takes Aleksander's arm and together they leave the room.

'Excuse me,' you say to your friends and hurry out of the room, using the other exit. You have to get out or you might explode. Or break down in front of those people. You can't have that.

A moment later you're on the corridor. You stop by one of the windows and turn to it. You look outside and hug yourself. You exhale shakily and try to calm down your breathing. But tears fall down your cheeks anyway.

What you don't know, is that someone noticed you leaving. And the reason why. So, a moment later Fedyor shows up on the corridor. Seeing you, he speeds up.

'[Y/N],' he says. You turn, startled. Fedyor stops at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks. For a moment you want to quickly dry them. But instead, your lip trembles. Your friend looks at you with compassion and spreads his arms.

'Come here,' he says. And you do. You rush into his embrace and let him hold you. And yourself to cry.

'Being ignored by someone who's attention means the world to you is the worst feeling ever,' you whisper after a moment. Fedyor's hold on you tightens.

'He doesn't ignore you,' he denies. 'You mean the world to him. You're all that he can see.'

'I think you're mistaking me for Alina,' you say bitterly, but forcing a smile. Fedyor sighs. He pushes you away slightly. He opens his mouth to say something, but stops seeing your face. You can only guess your tears washed away your make-up with which you tried so hard to hide.

'You haven't been sleeping well,' Fedyor says quietly.

'I've been sleeping fine, thank you very much,' you say, trying to free yourself from his grip. But he doesn't let go.

'Then where did those shadows under your eyes come from, hm?' he asks. You are quiet for a moment.

'It sucks when the only person who can make you feel better is also the reason you always cry,' you finally answer. Night after night you have been crying yourself to sleep. Missing him, cursing him. And her. You hate it. You hate he has such a hold on you. You hate that you are so weak. You hate yourself that you can't just trust him and his love. So, you cry.

'[Y/N]…' Fedyor starts slowly. 'You must believe me when I tell you that he does love you. I've seen him with Alina and I've seen him with you. There's a huge difference, I assure you.'

'Of course, there is,' you agree, your voice shaking. 'I'm just a Tidemaker. She's the Sun Summoner. His equal. They complete each other. I've been a fool not to see it.'

'That's not true,' Fedyor denies vehemently. 'You're the one who's completing him. His heart is yours. I know it doesn't seem like that. But trust me, give it a bit more time and it-'

He cuts himself off. You look at him with suspicion. His lips are pursed in a tight line.

'You know,' you realise. 'You know why he's doing all of that. Why? Fedyor, why?'

The Heartrender looks away. You scoff. You shake off his hold on you.

'Fine, don't tell me,' you snap. 'But don't expect me not to be hurt by how he behaves. I have feelings, you know. And words can't reassure me by themselves.'

You turn on your heel and march away. Fedyor calls after you but doesn't chase you. Good. You can cry again.

*

Alina is gone. Kidnapped by three rouges from Ketterdam. Aleksander is doing everything he can to locate her and bring her home.

Poor Marie is dead. She was killed by a man travelling with the three rogues. But he betrayed them, because he had stricken a deal with General Zlatan. He was to kill Alina. But instead of her, he found Marie who thanks to Genya looked like the Sun Summoner.

You're worried about your friend, naturally. But seeing how Aleksander is upset because of it, makes your stomach turn. You know he will go to look for her. And thanks to Zoya, you know you're not on the team. You're supposed to sit restless in the Little Palace. You are furious about it. Until you hear Fedyor is not going either.

'Come in!' the Heartrender calls, hearing a knock on his door. It opens and you walk in. You frown, seeing he's packing.

'I thought you're not going after Alina?' you ask.

'Because I'm not,' Fedyor answers. 'I'm going to look for Nina. We finally have a lead on her.'

'Without Ivan?' you ask, starting to pass things to Fedyor. 'How will the two of you survive that?'

Fedyor chuckles. He smiles at you and you answer with the same. You observe him in silence for a moment. Then, an idea forms in your head.

'I'll go with you,' you decide, causing Fedyor to drop his spare kefta. 'I know I'm not Ivan, but I will have to do for you.'

'[Y/N]-' Fedyor starts, panicking.

'Don't,' you interrupt him. 'I made up my mind. I'm not going to stay here, while you all are looking for people. I want to help. I am going to pack now and no one is going to stop me.'

You turn on your heel and walk away. Fedyor stares after your retreating back, horrified.

'Saints,' he whispers. 'He's already mad as it is.'

'Who is?' Ivan asks, entering the room. 'Actually, never mind, I can guess. But why is he going to be more?'

'Because [Y/N] has just decided to go with me after Nina,' Fedyor answers. Ivan pauses.

'What?' he asks. Fedyor sighs and runs a hand through his face.

'Things are bad, Ivan,' he says. '[Y/N] is convinced he chose Alina over her. She… she is tired and has given up. I fear that if she leaves with me… she may not come back.'

'Then we better tell all that to General Kirigan and make sure it doesn't happen,' Ivan says after a moment. Fedyor nods, determined. Two Heartrenders quickly leave and head to Aleksander's chambers.

'Enter,' Kirigan sighs after hearing a knock. He turns to the door, annoyed. Ivan and Fedyor enter, grim.

'Well?' Aleksander snaps. 'What is it?'

'[Y/N] has decided to go with me after Nina,' Fedyor answers, deciding to just go for it. Kirigan freezes.

'She. Has. What?' he growls. Fedyor gulps. Aleksander seethes.

'What is she thinking?' he asks, barely controlling his shadows. Two Heartrenders exchange a look.

'She's hurting, General,' Fedyor says, causing Aleksander to stop. 'She… saw you giving flowers to Alina.'

'We think this may be her way to… gently remove herself,' Ivan adds. Aleksander goes pale once he understands the meaning of those words. You don't intend to come back.

'Come with me and guard the door,' Kirigan orders, already marching out of the room. A few minutes later they reach your room. Aleksander bursts in without knocking and is met with a sight of you packing your things with Natasha.

'What is the meaning of this?' he demands. You grit your teeth. Damn you, Fedyor.

'Exactly what it looks like,' you answer calmly. 'I'm packing. I'm going after Nina, my dear friend, with Fedyor.'

'Leave us,' Aleksander orders Natasha after a moment. 'Now.'

Your friend looks at you, uncertain. You nod at her. You imagine there's going to be a lot of yelling. You don't want her in the middle of this. So, Natasha curtsies to Kirigan and leaves.

'[Y/N], stop moving and talk to me,' Aleksander says when you don't pause even after your friend is gone.

'Oh, now you want to talk to me,' you scoff. 'I should have started packing weeks ago, then.'

'What do you mean?' Aleksander asks. You chuckle humorously.

'I mean that for the past weeks you've been ignoring me, General,' you say. 'I'm tired of it.'

You calling him by his title feels like a slap to Kirigan. And the way you look at him, with anger, hurts him. And makes him upset as well.

'I already explained myself to you,' he says, his voice low. 'I've asked you to be patient. To trust me.'

'Well, you made me reach my limit!' you say, throwing your hands in the air. 'Honestly, you can't think I'm blind, do you? That I wouldn't notice the black kefta on Alina? Or see you giving her flowers? Or that she won't confide in me, her best friend, about how she kissed you, a moment after I left your chambers?'

Colour drains from Aleksander's face yet again. You turn quickly, so he wouldn't see tears in your eyes. Silence fills the room. Until you hear slow footsteps behind you. You wince when Kirigan's hands land on your hips.

'When I tell you I love you,' he says, his voice a bit shaky, 'I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.'

Tears fall down your cheeks. It takes every ounce of your strength not to turn and hide in his arms. But you tell yourself to be strong.

'If that was true, then you wouldn't treat me like you have,' you say. Aleksander stiffens behind you. You free yourself from his grip and walk away. Kirigan gulps.

'I'm sorry,' he says. 'I know it's not enough. I know now I hurt you. It was wrong of me. But, please, don't go on a dangerous journey, just to spite me. Or to leave and never return.'

'Don't ask me to stay and watch you love someone else,' you say after a moment. 'I get it, Aleksander. I truly do. She's your equal. You and her are going to change the world. You both will… live for a really long time. You deserve someone like that. But please… please don't make me watch this. It hurts too much.'

You don't see this, but Aleksander reaches out to you. He pulls back after a second and clenches his fists.

'I swear on my life, I don't love Alina Starkov,' he says, his voice firm. 'You're the one that has a hold of my heart. It was killing me to spend time with her and not with you, giving her my attention. I wanted to call you to my chambers so many times. Or just walk to you. But I knew she might visit me suddenly. So, I kept my distance, even though it was hurting me. I know it's nothing compared to the pain I caused you. But believe me that I love only you.'

You bite your lip. You want to turn and see if you heard him correctly. Because he sounded like he's on the verge of crying. And you've never seen him cry. Not once.

'Tell me what I can do to make you stay,' Aleksander pleads. 'What I can say, so you won't leave. I need to know how I can fix this!'

'Tell my why,' you answer after a moment. You turn around, miraculously still fighting back tears. But Aleksander isn't. He's crying, his eyes are red and puffy. You're stunned by it.

'Tell my why you flirted with Alina and let her kiss you,' you say. 'Why you wanted her to believe you have feelings for her.'

Aleksander purses his lips. You wait. And wait. You're about to scoff and turn…

'I needed her to trust me,' he finally says. 'To depend on me. To be loyal to me. So we could destroy our enemies together.'

'And you had to lie to do that?' you ask, frowning. 'Manipulate her?'

'Everything I do, I do for the sake of all Grisha,' Aleksander says. 'For you. I know I'm… overprotective sometimes. Keeping you by my side, keeping you here, keeping you in the dark… I shouldn't have done that. I should have told you at least a part of my plans. But I… I just want you to be safe. I want so badly to protect you from the world, because I know all too well how bad it can be.'

'Yes,' you say after a moment and gulp. 'You should have told me. Why didn't you really tell me what you are planning?'

'… I didn't want to scare you away.'

'… Idiot. How many times? I love you no matter what. Remember what I told you when you asked me how would I look at you if you told me about the darkness inside you?'

'That despite every terrible thing I did you would love me anyway.'

'Did I run away after you told me you're the one who created the Fold?'

'No.'

'And what did I do?'

'… You hugged me. You held me in your arms for the whole night and whispered how much you love me.'

'Then why did you think this would be any different?'

Okay, you lost the fight. You're crying. Aleksander lets out a chuckle through his tears.

'Because I'm a fool, who's biggest fear is losing the woman he loves more than anything,' he answers. You shake your head, exasperated. But your look softens.

'Do you promise you love me?' you ask, your voice shaking a bit.

'I swear,' he answers, looking at you seriously. You exhale shakily and let your tears fall.

'My darling, come here, let me hold you,' Aleksander says, opening his arms. This time you run into them and let him embrace you tightly.

'We're still not okay,' you whisper.

'I know,' Aleksander says. 'I know, moya milaya. I'll make it up to you. I promise. But first I must find Miss Starkov. Before it's too late.'

'What will you do to her when you do?' you ask after a moment.

'Not "if"?' Aleksander asks, smiling slightly. You scoff.

'I do know you, you know,' you answer. Aleksander chuckles. He's so grateful for your faith in him. Even though he hurt you…

'All will depend on how will I find her,' he answers your question. 'But I will no longer flirt with her, kiss her or make her believe there can be something between us. Because I have you.'

You smile in his kefta and his grip on you tightens. You stay like that for long minutes. In fact, you don't leave each other's side until it's sundown and Aleksander must go for Alina. But before he leaves your chambers, he hugs you one last time.

'Wait for me,' he pleads, the words coming out choked and pained. 'I need you to wait for me.'

'I will always wait for you,' you say after a moment. Aleksander cups your face and kisses you passionately, taking your breath away. You sigh when you part. You look at each other for a one more minute, then he leaves. Ivan follows him outside, sending you a small smile, which you return.

It drops when they're gone. You exhale shakily. Like you said, you and Aleksander are not okay yet. But there's progress. You are ready to wait for him to make things right.

But then the Fold expands and it is said the Darkling is dead. Grisha are being hunted because of what Aleksander has done. You must run for your life, your heart broken because of the news of Kirigan. And you don't know if you can continue living without him.

Thank you for reading! Please, reblog, like and comment if you could. This was supposed to be a two-part fic. But I've decided to make all parts more or less the same length, so I'm ending this one after the end of season one and the third part will be the season two. That means it's all for now, but the final part should be published soon. Take care until then and let me know your thoughts about this one!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49547866/chapters/125872165

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (Graphic Novel) - Part 1

(Part 2, Part 3)

First of all, analyzing is a bit over the top because in each picture I'm mostly fangirling than analyzing. This Graphic Novel had us all on the floor with him.

Second, I hope the quality of these pictures will look good. I took them from my phone so my hopes are not high😀.

This will be three parts.

Let's go!

Grisha really didn't stand a chance on how twisted and horrific their existence would seem to otkazat'sya. They're seen as monsters that kill without provocation and hold unnatural powers that they use only for evil purposes.

Being born a Grisha felt like a curse. Condemned to a life of isolation and superstitions that would always surround you.

Are you sure about that?

Generations and generations of lies and fear had produced only more individuals with a desire to hunt Grisha down. It probably felt like a badge of honor to do this job. To kill the people that their "stories" frightened them so much as children.

I actually looove that comparison.

In the beginning, we see otkazat'sya being afraid of the Grisha and their powers. And now we see Grisha being wary that otkazat'sya are around. Both of them fearing each other's presence.

“And what's my name?”

“Madraya 😄😊”

HE'S SO CUTE 😭

He's having a little innocent moment and jokes about it.

But Baghra doesn't even let him have THAT.

A++ parenting from Baghra 👏👏

Congratulations! You succeeded in making him feel depressed 🏆

And just like I've said in the past, the Darkling's "I will strip away all that you know. All that you love. Until you have no shelter but me" is Baghra's "You'll have no one but me" technique that had rubbed off him and he copy pasted it on his relationship with Alina.

He's so embarrassed for the fact that he's afraid of the dark. And he wants to be brave with it 🥹

Somebody hug him please!! 😭😭

There's just something about a Shadow Summoner being afraid of the dark that it's so 🥺👉👈

*fast forwarding hundred years later when he found a person who had the power to cast away that fear*

*cries*

And the way he hurls beneath his blanket 😭

Have you noticed that he doesn't seem happy in any of those faces? Having a false identity for every place he visits and staying hidden, afraid of touching or being close to someone since he could remember himself.

The way he's so mesmerized by the trees around him. Nature makes him so happy!

And Baghra just distracts him from it.

Why is she scolding him for being happy??

Just let him be happy for something. Jesus.

He's only thirteen and he already knows three languages. And then we have Baghra not being satisfied with it. The amount of pressure and responsibility she placed upon him so soon was so great.

Most of the time I just despise Baghra but these scenes make me feel sympathy for her. She wasn't only being scorned for her unusual powers but also for her sex. Being a woman didn't earn her the respect she wanted so she had to become fierce and tough for them to take her seriously.

(Notice how Baghra says "Honesty is always best". The Darkling always wanted honesty from others. Did he take that from his mother as well?)

Look how happy he got once he found out he'll probably see some wild animals!😍

(he eventually got to see those tigers btw🥺)

Completely unrelated with the story but Baghra was so beautiful in her youth! No wonder Aleksander came out so handsome too.

[igotanidea]

Decorating: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Christmas bingo day 6 : decorating

***

There were some Christmas traditions in little palace that were non negotiable. Christmas feast. Carol singing. Banquet. And...

Decorating.

No way to get out of this especially when you are grisha, but truthfully, y/n would rather die than take part in in.

It was just a regular early morning at the beggining of December. Most residents of the place were quietly taking care of parts assigned to adorn, smiling and getting excited about the upcoming holiday season.

But obviously, as usually in such cases, the peace did not last for long.

A sound of a Christmas ball being shattered to the ground, some loud yelling (of a word that shall not be quoted here) and the thumping of foots on the carpeted floor echoed through the corridors. A second later, some very concerned grisha almost crashed with enraged y/n running away from the crime scene with reddened cheeks and exasperation in her eyes, huffing, puffing and muttering incoherently under her nose.

Given the fact she was an inferni, and also quite unpredictable one, no one in their sound mind dared to get in her way. To be honest, any other person who had the misfortune of stumbling upon her jumped away in slight panic.

Not that she cared, rushing towards her own chamber, willing nothing more than to hide from preying eyes, unnecessary comments and useless judging.

Obviously she couldn't escape Nikolai though. It was like after years of knowing each other he was well aware of her every step and every habit she developed since childhood, and therefore, it only took him a couple of minutes to peek through the door of her room, smirking knowingly.

"Well aren't you a view for sore eyes" he jokes stepping inside without invitation, refering to her messy hair and flustered face. The only reaction he got from her was a groan and eye rolling. "Come on sunshine, you know you love me. Give me a smile instead."

She stuck her tongue at him not saying a word which only got him to laugh harder.

"what do you want?!"

"you're just the cutest you know that? But it's not a way to welcome your prince, even if he's hopelessly devoted to you." He grinned sitting on the edge of her bed, pulling the blanket of her "hiding is not your style. Talk to me."

"god I wish I was a durast!" She finally exclaimed.

"no you don't -"

"I wish I could make those pretty paper chains and Christmas balls and decorations and stuff !"

"really, every year..." Nikolai chuckled, not that she cared.

"Or I could be a tidemaker or a squaller! They make those pretty frost on the windows!" She jumped out of the bed and started pacing around the room "but no! I'm an inferni! Saints!! A clumsy grisha breaking every ornament she touches. Ugh!!!" The sudden groan coming from the girl made the fire in the fireplace flicker, but she didn't notice it, too focused on watching the snowy landscape outside the window.

"You're not clumsy, sunshine." Nikolai smirked and moved to stand behind her, wrapping arms around her waist and kissing her cheek. "You're just a little ... Uncoordinated."

"Nikolai Lantsov!"

"That's what they call me love" he winked

"it's not funny!" She turned in his embrace facing him with fiery eyes.

"of course not." He pecked her lips, too quick for her to even react "now where is it?"

"where is what?" She frowned

"that little Christmas tree ornament you made when you were five. It deserves a honorary place."

"how do you--?" Y/n took a step back, but Nikolai stopped her by tightening the grip and pulling her against him.

"you can't keep any secret from me." He whispered in her ear "now how about we hang it together?"

"no way! I refuse to be a part of this little royal display!"

"you can't refuse me -"

"do you want to enjoy this year's Christmas tree?" She scoffed trying to break free again.

"what does that have to do--?"

"Or would you rather enjoy it set on fire by me?"

"That would definitely be the attraction of the evening." He winked at her again. "But I got much better idea"

***

Nikolai Lantsov had an idea.

Last time an idea popped into his head he run away from the palace and became a privateer.

So when he practically forced her to make a scene in front of every habitant of the little palace by decorating the tree with a opulent topper she was less than enthusiastic.

Really. There was no need for Zoya's hateful looks alongside with shocked murmurs alongside everyone on how the Tsarevich should not be holding a grisha girl like this. And definitely not while in public.

But she was only balancing on the ladder, risking falling down and destroying her most prized possession, it was only natural he had to grip her this tight for protection. And honestly when Nikolai helped her down by supporting her weigh with his strong arms she realised she didn't care about rumors or looks.

She had him.

And it was enough to shield her from every negativity or cruelty.

Especially when he didn't let go of her straight away keeping hands on her waist.

Especially when he leaned forward a little bit, their lips almost touching, as if they both forgot time and place they were in too lost in each other.

Especially when Tatiana stepped in between them preventing any scandalous behaviour, and gave a signal to start the Christmas gala.

Because she knew she would get her boy all to herself later.

So no, she didn't care about people's opinion.

[farrahda5hywrites]

Superposition

Pairing: Alina Starkov(a) x Grisha!Reader, Past!Darklina, Implied!Unrequited Aleksander Morozov(a) x Alina Starkov(a) x Reader

Summary: After the Darkling’s death, you seek to avenge him, but instead you confront some repress emotions.

Warning: It’s all angsty, baby. Vague-ish Spoilers for Season 2, Me, making shit up because I can. 

Taggies: @marvelmusing (Sorry to do this to you.)

“Very convenient of you to leave me out of your plans, Alina.” You appear in the middle of her bedroom as she removes her crown from her head.

She says your name gently, but you swear there’s a hint of malice or perhaps grief.

“You were missing.” She sits down still facing away from you. As you prepare to summon shadows to choke her, she is on her feet in the same stance.

“How?” She gasps, finally looking you in the eye. She hesitates to attack, and you are already close to her, grabbing her by the neck and tossing her against the wall. You are far from surprised that she has his shadows. She was his Sun Summoner, his Alina, his favorite. You were and still are just one of his shadows in the darkness.

“You killed him, and you didn’t even let me say goodbye.” You hiss. “It’s the least you could have done for me.”

“He was a monster.” She wiggle out of your hold, and she attacks you almost knocking you on your feet.

“He was our only hope, and now you’re helping the Royal family.”

“I’m doing the right thing for Grisha.”

“You’re misguided, and you’re helping the enemy.”

“Nikolai is different!”

“Isn’t that great for you? But what about everyone else? The other orphans, the other Grisha who have been tortured for decades under his family rule. You killed their hope! Some of our friends and allies are missing. Or should I say your former friends.”

She grabs you, pinning you on the ground, putting a hidden dagger to your neck. Her hair is disheveled, and you remember the first time she bested you during your training at the Little Palace. You were excited for her finally embracing her powers. Both of you were relatively new to embracing both of your powers, and while you stayed somewhat close and friendly, it was clear you somehow were eclipsed by both the General and Alina.

“You only listen to what you want to believe.” You mumble. “You’re so afraid of being a tool, but you let anyone use you. I shouldn’t have helped you. I wouldn’t have helped.”

You wrap your legs around her, and you roll her over pinning her down. The dagger has left her hand a long time ago, but you’ve just noticed, not to mention she hasn’t screamed for help. She wiggles a hand free and reaches up to touch your cheek. 

Your heart flutters remembering the small talks in the library you had and the fruit you shared during the few walks you took together between Alina learning to ride a horse. The General...he...always had made time for her, and the time you tried to take moments for yourself and Alina were interrupted by his need to be the only one in her orbit. Somehow, she did the same when you attempted to seek him out. She was always in need of something from him: approval, touch, comfort. Eventually, you made yourself scarce knowing you would never penetrate that orbit. 

Alina leans her head in for a kiss, and you can’t help but kiss her back. You immediately pull away, but she pulls you back for another kiss cupping your cheek. Tears start to stream down your face, but the hunger and grief keeps you close to her lips.

You sit up quickly as does Alina, and she holds the hem of your cloak as if she can sense your desire to flee.

“Please stay.” Alina begs, her plea barely hitting your ears. Before you can respond, she’s pulling you to your feet by your shadows, and you can’t break out of her grip. The look in her eye is almost feral, and it is nothing you have ever seen from her.

You pull on the shadows seeming to yank her towards you, and you can’t help fight back. She tugs you harder with what you can assume is hungry smirk on her face, and you pull her close to you.

“Come with me.” You mirror her plea.

She pulls you back to her, and your lips crash against hers. The both of you hold each other close, the kiss deepening.

Alina lets her hair fall to her shoulder, and you can’t help but play with a few strands. Kill her. Avenge him. Kill her. Kill her. Avenge him. She betrayed your people. You don’t have to live in her shadow anymore. You don’t have to compete with him anymore. You don’t have to…be.

You repress the thoughts and pull away, and Alina looks you up and down.

“I am sorry.” Alina wipes tears from her eyes. “I should have…known you loved him, too.”

“I suppose we were all blinded.” You clench your fist, trying to muster the courage to strike.

Someone knocks on the door, and Alina turns toward it. You flee leaving the same way you came.

When you get to your hideout, you press your back against the wall and slump down to the floor fingers touching your lips. You ignore the pull calling you back to Alina along with the regret of not killing her then and there. Another pull urges you, but you can’t place it as Alina’s pull is only slightly stronger from the other one. You won’t be surprised if she chases you until she finds you just as the General did when you attempted to help her flee.

Damn. You touch your lips again closing your eyes. You swear feel lips on yours again, but they’re different this time, a beard scraping against your cheek.  You are up on your feet again, and you sigh, having lost yourself in the grief again.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Home Is With You

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone (TV) Summary: Inej returns home after another one of her long sea voyages to find that her lover has prepared her something quiet wonderful. Warnings: Mentions of sexual slavery Word Count: 1,521 Ship(s): Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa

Archive link!

A/N: At the beginning of the news of the cancellation, I felt very mixed about it. I didn't like what they had done to the Crows at the end of S2, I didn't like what they had done with Mal and Alina. But then I realized, after a while of thinking, that I want to see how it ends. I want to have more pieces of these wonderful books lifted from them word for word and spoken by these amazingly talented actors. So I'm participating in this event to try and get more attention to it, to show that we're interested and they need to stop being stupid. I hope you guys enjoy, it's not as long as some of my other stuff is! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone &lt;3

She had always heard people speak of needing to get their sea legs. They had mentioned it offhandedly when she was a child because she had never had the opportunity to really be on a boat. She had also heard it in laughing jeers referencing Matthias when they had first begun their voyage to and from the Ice Court. She was a being that lived with wings hidden on her back and feet that gripped impossibly slick surfaces, so she had never really understood what the point of developing another way of walking was.

At least, she hadn’t until she had touched down in Ketterdam after a solid ten months out at sea. She hadn’t expected to be away for that long, but she had found a string of slaver ships that had resulted in several quick trips back to Ravka so that they could return otkazatsya and Grisha back to where they rightfully belonged. 

There were more leads to follow, more names written on the little black book she kept next to he heart. She had more work to do, but her crew was weary and needed time to be back with their own families or to rest and recover from injuries. She had docked them back in Fifth Harbor so that they could see to their needs themselves and she could handle digging the problem out at the root. It was all well and good to be taking down the branches that stole people and sold them to the highest bidder, but if she could kill the demand then it would become unlucrative and thus wouldn’t happen any longer.

She could practically hear Kaz’s voice in her mind telling her that she was being too hopeful in the goodness of people again. She knew that he didn’t believe in the beauty of the world, that the evil really could be purged and would leave them with the happiness that they had earned. He told her often and sometimes made her feel so self-conscious that she wanted to give up on her entire plan. That hadn’t happened for a good long while, thankfully. He had been getting better about finding ways to voice his concerns or opinions and they played off of each other to balanced the other out, which was the beauty to be found in both of them.

The streets were just as busy as she had remembered them being almost a year ago. She was quick to find an alley that was slim enough that no one would notice her as she ducked into the shadows. Her fingers grasped at a drainpipe and her rubber-soled shoes, a replacement given to her by Kaz for her birthday after she had ruined the original pair at the Ice Court, gripped at the wall. She had always preferred walking above other people, not because she thought that was where she belonged but because it was so much easier to process what they were doing when she could see it from afar.

Inej traveled quickly and quietly over the rooftops that she had once been a spider on. She knew that Kaz had found someone new to find him secrets and get inside of buildings, but no one would ever truly replace her. She had once been offended because he had called her an investment, but after some discussion with Wylan she had learned how much of a compliment that was. The Kerch cared about nothing other than money, so it was a given that their terms of endearment and confessions of love would revolve around money and assets as well. He was simply trying to tell her that he cared deeply for her without being able to actually process his emotions.

A smile toyed over her lips as she thought about getting to see him again. They had been able to send letters back and forth thanks to their connections to the King of Ravka and the Grisha Triumvirate, but all flowy words and beautiful scripts would pale in comparison to actually getting to see him again.

She dropped down onto the landing of the Crow Club like she had many times before. She could remember almost all of them with crystal clear clarity, the ledge had basically been made for her. Her fingers slipped out of the gloves she wore to keep the ropes of her ship from callousing her hands and then she flicked the latch out of place. It would be invisible to anyone else, but she had been there watching Kaz as he installed it so he could feel safe and she could still come visit him whenever she wanted.

She stepped down into his room and then looked over the space as she was overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia strong enough to kill. Kaz had replaced the desk made out of an old door propped up on crates with something big and mahogany. It had marks around the edges from where his cane had hit it or a stray bullet and lodged in the wood, but it was still beautiful and shiny like it was brand new. The bed was no longer made out of milk crates with a thin blanket draped over it, but two twin beds pressed against the wall. They were pushed together that day, which meant that he was hoping she would feel up to sleeping next to him that night. 

The thing that brought her attention away from the surroundings and her own feelings was the new addition. There had always been a fireplace that high in the Slat since it was a floor of the building, but there was something crackling happily away inside of it for the first time since she had first ventured up to the attic. She walked over to the mantle so that she could inspect the Suli pendant, the picture of the Crows drawn by Wylan, and the old head of Kaz’s cane resting atop it.

In front of the fireplace was a table that was laden with her favorites, jasmine rice and kurma with huge pieces of chicken and naan and the little Danishes from Fjerda that Nina had introduced her to. Between them was a pot of cloves, loose but whole.

“What is this?” she asked when she heard the door open.

“I thought that you would enjoy it,” Kaz rasped. “I was also expecting a hello from you before you began interrogating me, treasure.”

She turned to him with a bright smile as everything finally clicked into place. He was dressed as he always was: black slacks pressed at the sides so that that lump of scar tissue next to his knee was hidden, a black shirt with a perfect collar and silver cufflinks, all tied together with a pocket watch draped from the gray vest he was wearing. His hair was slicked back and he was leaning moderately heavy on his cane, which was a given seeing as storm clouds were already beginning to hover menacingly in the sky above them.

“You did all of this for me?” she asked. Her hand immediately strayed down to the simple knife that he had gifted her when he taught her how to defend herself. He had always provided her with the things that she needed to live the life that she needed to at that moment, including the wonderful spread before her. “How did you remember that I hate the smell of woodsmoke?”

“I remember everything about you, dear Inej,” he replied. His voice was deep and husky, wrapping around her bones and shattering through her body. Kaz stepped over to the table while removing his gloves, cane tucked under his arm so it was close to him but not in use.

She sat down across from him with a smile bright enough to rival Sankta Alina bringing down the fold. “Thank you, Kaz. I don’t think I could have asked for a better welcome party.”

“Good. I had to convince Jesper that you would prefer this to what he was planning,” Kaz grimaced and she couldn’t help but laugh. The joy that had already fluttered to life inside of her was given a drop of euphoria when she saw the way that his bitter coffee eyes were sparkling at the sound of her happiness.

She would have asked him about how he had been, but she already knew. He was the same as he always was, the man that she had fallen in love with instead of Dirtyhands. He was only like that when he was around her, he had removed his armor just for her. She wasn’t going to interrogate him like a wife that didn’t trust her husband, come to make sure that he wasn’t cheating or gambling away their savings. He had his life and she had hers. They were entwined together and the older that they got, the more likely it was that the braid would become tighter.

So, instead of asking about any of that, she simply grabbed a piece of naan and ripped an edible chunk off, “Do you know how to eat this?”

[marvelmusing]

Game of Survival

Pairing: Darklina x Star Summoner!Reader

Inspired by the Hunger Games

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“You know who we are?”

Despite the swaying of the carriage as it speeds down the Vy, you manage to remain seated as you look at the two people in front of you. Staring at the man who had spoken, you nod.

“Aleksander Morozova and Alina Starkov. The first, and only, joint victors of the Grisha Games.”

Each year, a region of Ravka is selected and its people are tested for Grisha power. A member of each of the seven Grisha orders are brought to the capital of Os Alta where they will be trained by a victor Grisha of the same order, before they are entered into the Grisha Games for the entertainment of the nation and beyond.

The Games are incredibly popular amongst the otkazat’sya, with the governments of Fjerda and Shu Han offering their own Grisha as tributes.  

As Ravka’s only shadow summoner, Aleksander had won his first Games at thirteen, the first year that had eight tributes competing instead of the traditional seven. His victory has allowed him to live in the capital as a mentor ever since, though no other shadow summoners have been discovered yet.

Considered far too young to watch the Games by your mother, you hadn’t seen Aleksander’s power on display as he emerged victorious after a vicious fight to the death with a tidemaker the same age as him.

But the year Alina had been discovered as the sun summoner, you were old enough to watch as she wielded her light ferociously against her opponents. As another unique summoner, Aleksander had been assigned as her mentor.

The year Alina had entered was an event for the history books. In a dramatic twist, the Gamemaster sent Aleksander into the arena and the audience had watched with morbid delight as he had slayed countless tributes to find a wounded Alina.

It was all the people could talk about, whether he would be able to find her in time.

When it came down to them as the final two in the arena, an announcement was made, and they became the first ever dual winners of the Grisha Games. People had been elated, celebrating in the streets, and the parties had lasted all night long.  

Some people still believe they should have fought to the death. There can only be one victor of the Games. But looking at the two of them now, their hands clasped together as they sit with their shoulders touching, you cannot imagine either one of them killing the other.    

“How long have you known that you’re Grisha?” Alina asks you.

“Since I was ten. My mother always knew I was different, so she made sure I was never tested. I don’t think she ever knew exactly how different I was.”

“You can summon at will?” Aleksander asks.

Briefly, you glance down at the silver cuffs that encircle each of your wrists, you’re allowed normal movement wearing them but they prevent you from using your power. Then you look back at Aleksander and nod.

He studies your expression for a moment, before he nods slowly in acknowledgement.

“Keep that to yourself for the moment. We’ll use it to our advantage.”

The months before Alina had entered the arena, support for her had been mixed. Some people thought her unique power of sunlight was a blessing that would carry her to instantaneous victory.

However, the footage from training sessions and interviews with her had many people convinced that she was a naive young woman with a limited grasp of her abilities.

Now, you wonder how much of that had been a manipulation technique crafted by the man in front of you, who had been subjected to the cruelty of the Games at a young age and has been dealing with the whims of the nobility ever since.

“You’ll be living with us for the next six months,” Alina informs you, though you already knew that.

“Next week, you’re to meet the King,” Aleksander adds.

Nerves bloom in your stomach at the thought of displaying your power to the Court and Aleksander seems to notice your apprehension as he settles his free hand over yours.

“We shall be right by your side.”

“Until it’s time for me to fight to the death against seven other people.”

“Until then,” he agrees. “We will do all we can to ensure that you are prepared for the Games.”

The sound of people gathered on the streets, clamouring for a look at the couple’s first ever tribute, reaches your ears and you’re tempted to cower away from the windows even though the decorative layer of lace acts as a curtain to shield you from their view.

“What do you want me to be?” you ask quietly.

They both stare questioningly at you.

In response, you nod in the direction of Aleksander and begin to explain.

“Before your Games you were small and unassuming, an intentional underdog. Afterwards you’re mysterious and aloof.”

Glancing at Alina, you observe the curious tilt of her head and the intrigued spark in her eyes.

“Before, everyone thought you were innocent and helpless, then strong and brave during the Games, and now you’re Os Alta’s darling.”

Nervously, you look down at your tattered clothing that had been torn during the struggle after your power had been revealed - when you had tried to escape.

Aleksander leans closer, hooking a finger beneath your chin so that you meet his dark eyes. His gaze flickers over your features as if he is attempting to memorise every inch.

“You are going to be undeniable in your power. You will show them that you are bright and beautiful and something remarkable.”

Alina brushes a few strands of hair from your face, smoothing it gently back into place as Aleksander traces a delicate line along your jaw to keep your eyes on the two of them as he continues to speak.

“They will all want you by their side, and not a single one of them will be deserving as your equal.”

His words have you spellbound by his casual confidence, as if he is speaking this all into existence.

“You are going to be our little star,” Alina says softly with a smile that has warmth blooming in your chest. “You’ll never have to hide yourself, ever again.”

Then the carriage jerks to a stop at the gates of the Morozova estate. A crowd has formed by the entrance, otkazat’sya commoners all eager to catch a glimpse of you.

Aleksander steps out of the carriage first, smoothing down the front of his black kefta as his dark eyes skim over the crowd.

He then extends his hand for Alina and the sound of the crowd intensifies at the sight of the sun summoner glistening in her black and gold kefta.

Inhaling shakily, you close your eyes and attempt to draw some strength from Aleksander’s words. You are going to be undeniable.

Head held high, you take Aleksander and Alina’s waiting hands as you step down onto the cobbled path. Some people in the crowd openly weep, whilst others make the symbol of the saints with their hand.

The reverent whispers of your name send a shiver down your spine and as you step through the gates Aleksander ducks his head down to murmur against your ear,

“We are going to change the world, little star.”

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