#or transactional relationships

[satoblue]

the first time you had sex with satoru he actually ended up paying you for it — casually sliding you money across the table as if it’s the most normalest thing in the world while you both sat to eat breakfast together the next morning. he was so confused when you gave him the most offended look ever — but he was really happy that you slept with him! satoru didn’t get around a lot bc of work and nobody has been able to grab his attention like you have before so he didn’t really know what to do in this situation. all in all, he was just grateful you fucked him in the first place and hoped you’d continue to date him after this

[fumifooms]

Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is getting very confused when people say "relationships AREN'T transactional"... That's all I know. I genuinely wish I could understand what they mean. I'm not kidding. If somebody could help me out, because is it NOT "if you do this for me, then I'll do this for you"? :( I like transactional relationships... I like it when we both do things and take turns doing things for each other. It tells me that you actually care about me, and I guess are "worthy" of me rewarding you.

.

[psychopomp-namine]

the way everyone has a dislike in their profile that actually says something integral about their character. lu guang doesn't like plans getting messed up, cheng xiaoshi dislikes loneliness, xia fei with owing favors, vein with lying...

and then you have liu xiao, who dislikes... cilantro. and fish mint.

(shakes fist) (putting him in a glass jar and shaking vigorously) learn to be vulnerable!! tell me something about yourself!! I guess him liking movies lines up with the theater metaphors, and there's him liking chess, but that. doesn't count methinks

[carpp]

soyona deserved better idc

[its-leethee]

4x07 // 7x04

Devastating parallel, yes; but I want to elaborate on that conversation in 4x07 between Claudia and Terry, because it exposes Claudia's fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of healthy loving relationships.

Claudia sees the plants moving because of Terry's magic, and the conclusion she jumps to is that he's controlling them. Given the coercive nature of dark magic, I'm not surprised that Claudia would think that. Terry corrects her misconception, explaining: "I have a very good relationship with plants. When I need something, I can depend on them."

It's a core theme of the show, love and trust; stronger together; we need each other.

Love and trust build a kind of strength that is much bigger than we each possess. To have that kind of strength, it's not enough to love someone. You have to trust them to share the burdens you carry.

This kind of reliance is something that Claudia struggles with, because when has Claudia ever been able to depend on others to respond to her needs?** Claudia knows, despite how desperately she needs someone, no matter how deeply she loves them, it doesn't mean they'll stay with her. It's a cruel truth that she learned when she was very young:

Biscuit had been the oldest of Barius’ collection of strays, all of them named after things in his kitchen, and Claudia’s favorite. It wasn’t fair that she’d died. She hadn’t even been that old. All her kittens still needed her, didn’t they?

For Claudia, love means never leaving. She doesn't can't won't trust that people who leave will come back to her, because she's been betrayed too many times before:

“Aaravos left me too, huh? Like dad and Soren, and my mo—" Claudia’s throat closed around the word. Lissa had left her years ago, but the space she had owned in Claudia’s heart remained. It was a dark place now, hard and hateful, its edges raw as a wound that had forgotten to heal.

She'll accept other's trust in her, but she won't reciprocate on it. She uses trust as a tool for control. Just like Aaravos. Just like dark magic.

And that's why her relationship with Terry failed the way it did.

Claudia used Terry's trust. To protect him? No. To control him. To protect herself.

Deep down, she's afraid that there's something wrong with her, that she keeps failing to keep the people she loves in her life because they can see--

I've been messing things up, and everyone's been angry with me. What if they're right? What if I'm... not good?

Would allowing herself to share this vulnerability have kept every one of her loved ones in her life? No, of course not; but in the end, love alone wasn't strong enough to keep him by her side.

**What about Aaravos? shhh This isn't about him--

--4x07 // 7x04 // 5x04 // Rise Again // 2x02 // Lost Child // 6x01 // Puzzle House // 3x07 // 6x08 // 7x01 // 7x09

[hmsdoodlin]

Writhing around in my chair while being tied down

Soul loves Heart because he makes Whole happy, Soul hates Heart because he makes Whole sad.

Soul loves Heart because of how empathetic he is, Soul hates Heart because of how manipulative he is.

Soul loves Heart because he’s a great shoulder to cry on, Soul hates Heart because he’s too much to deal with.

Soul loves Heart because he’s able to offer unique perspectives, Soul hates Heart because of how ‘irrational’ he is.

Soul loves Heart because his happiness is infectious, Soul hates Heart because his anger is violent and vile.

Soul loves Heart because they share the same night sky, Soul hates Heart because he gets sick of looking at the moon.

Soul loves Heart because Heart loves Soul. Soul hates Heart because Heart hates Whole.

[aleksiej]

the idea that i am holding onto for my dear life is that, at the core of it, enjolras is a freak. he's a freak about the revolution. he's a freak about patria (if in a less 'fun' way and more 'i will mold myself into perfection for a concept that may not ever exist'). and he's definitely, definitely a freak for grantaire.

[smileposting]

while i think every god deserves a good ol’-fashioned “what if they snapped instead of inspekta” AU, i think the reason i have a hard time buying most villain!thespius scenarios is bc i haven’t seen, like. Any that have offered a convincing explanation as to Why he would go down the villain route. usually they default to either “idk i just thought he would look cool” (respectable but generally i crave something a little meatier when it comes to AUs) or “idk maybe he waited too long for click clack and got emo about it” (we’ve already seen what he looks like when he’s emo about it - he doesn’t become a murderous Nice Guy™️, he mopes and writes more plays)

HOWEVER

thespius in-game is kind of hesitant to rock the boat irl despite pushing boundaries with his art, right? how many celebrities can you think of who ended up crashing out and making themselves as unpalatable as possible because they were too nice to say no? to predatory business deals, to pushy fans who insist they know their fave better than they know themselves, to doomed collabs, etc.? because i can think of Quite A Few.

just some food for thought!

[tomwambsgans]

s1e3 lifeboats aka the episode about each of the main roy sibs' sexually coercive behaviors

[fiona-fififi]

1000% agree with all of your tags on that ask!!! literally everything you said. like first off i hate this tendency for people to completely decontextualize people's actions from their existing relationship that has been built up for the last 8 years. and ALSO that buck literally DOES call eddie for help with one of his problems in this episode (showing us he has absolutely NO problem relying on eddie even now!) and lastly that providing support to eddie IS helping buck!!! my biggest pet peeve is when people act like buck doesn't LOVE helping his friends and doing things for them....like how can you not see it literally makes him happy. to be relied upon and to make their lives easier. everything from giving eddie parenting advice to throwing chim's bachelor party (as misguided as that was...) to doing hen's yardwork. he is THRILLED when he gets to help!

Sorry for the delay on this—it got stuck in my drafts.

But yes to all of this! I tend to be especially sensitive to the complaints about their relationship being one sided because people so often misrepresent (or misunderstand) the reality of their relationship and pretend like relationships are built on one-to-one transactions, and that any perceived imbalance is a slight to one of the characters. But that ignores the fact that people love (and should!) to help the people they love. Spending time with Eddie and with Christopher and providing advice and help when Eddie and Chris are in need is not a burden on Buck. In fact, it is the very thing Buck worked hard to push through with Abby, because back then he was viewing that imbalance as a burden, but after working through that with Bobby in the "step in with her" conversation—and then committing to that—he learned that being a part of a relationship is about providing the support the other needs when they need it and understanding that not as a burden, but as an act of love. And that is how he perceives it now that he understands the way that kind of love deepens a relationship. That was an integral part of Buck's growth. To pretend that it is somehow awful, terrible, abusive for the people he loves to lean on him for support is contrary to Buck's entire character growth, and pretending like it's anything different is to misunderstand the most integral part of Buck's character.

Buck loves his family. He does everything in his power to show that love by offering the support they need at any given moment (and Eddie also absolutely does this for Buck, as well, which people love to overlook). And Eddie and Christopher are a part of that family, and, I would argue, at the top of the list.

But even moreso—and I know I said this in those tags, but it bears repeating—being there for Eddie is what Buck needs.

Buck has been so afraid of losing Eddie, in so many ways, and over so many years, that the fact that Eddie—even with so much distance between them needs Buck and wants Buck is exactly what Buck needs from Eddie. This is Eddie keeping his promise that distance doesn't take them away from each other. That there will be no losing touch because one of them can't be at the 118 or even in L.A. They are family and they love one another and they lean on one another when they need support. And right now, the support Buck needs is for Eddie to demonstrate exactly that and to keep that promise, just like Eddie is doing.

Buck needs to know that distance doesn't mean abandonment, even when it always has before. I mean, his parents basically never thought twice about him upon his departure. Maddie, even though it was for very valid reasons both times, lost touch after sending him away with the Jeep and, to a certain extent when she fled to Boston. None of his old friends seem have kept in touch. Abby ghosted him. It's just been string after string of distance meaning loss for him.

So for Eddie to not only be the one to declare that that will never happen to them way back in 3x15 and then to keep that promise when it's not just leaving the 118, but also moving 800 miles away?

That means something big. Eddie leaning on Buck from a distance, allowing Buck to be part of the resolution with Christopher not just because he deserves to be, but because Eddie needs him to be?

Eddie is giving Buck everything he needs here. While Buck is giving Eddie everything he needs, too. Their needs are a perfect match, and they both know how to give the other precisely what they need. There is nothing that's not beautiful about the way they love and support one another.

People pretending there's something unbalanced in the way they love one another are watching with their eyes closed.

[psychopomp-namine]

liu xiao is kind of a pathetic loser isn't he. I say this with love. I hope he keeps being like this. yeah sure you can play 5D chess but you can't even get xia fei to like you. smh you're not that cool liu xiao.

[samposillies]

i need them to interact so bad

[aspd-culture]

“idk if I have ASPD but something is off” culture is someone not believing you when you talk about how you think since it’s so much more mechanical—this could be autism but the only way I can acknowledge I’m human is that I just understand relationships are transactional, and the simple fact I can no longer feel genuine guilt (I did once but the last time I felt it was like almost a decade ago…) and only panic over how my actions will affect me

also people thinking I’m weird when I say people are only ever really out for themselves which that’s just true wtf

aspd-culture-is

[bunnithechubs]

meet Valentina Casas- Ciudad Enmorada's new Romance Consultant.

[swan2swan]

Soyona "If It Breaks Just Buy a New One" Santos having a new arm printed for her nemesis to make everything square between them is one of the most awe-inspiring romantic gestures I have ever seen. It's just a perfect combination of "Evil Cannot Comprehend Good", "It's One Banana, Michael", and "You Tried" wrapped up in the most beautiful package of naivete and Doomed Romance.