#or you have roxy who knows too much about one specific thing and fuck all about literally anything else ever and cassie has to explain-

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I feel like I don't talk much about how Roxy's still a asshole in my stuff. So. Um.

Yeah Roxy's still an asshole lmao

[ceo-of-kimona]

Some Kimona headcannons for y’all to chew on.

I honestly don’t know if I can really come up with enough ideas for one of these posts but whenever I see someone else do one of these for a ship I like I go fucking bananas so this needs to be done.

• They often watch horror movies together. Kim usually doesn’t react to them that much other than a few snarky comments but Ramona does sometimes need to cling onto Kim’s arm if things get really messed up.

• Sometimes at super gory scenes she tends to stare at Kim like “you really watch this crap??” Partly out of judgement but mostly just so that she doesn’t have to watch the scene.

• Kim is more of a coffee person while Ramona is obviously a tea person. One time when they were bored and feeling silly, they tried to combine their tastes and brewed a concoction they called “cofftea”- a mix of black coffee and herbal tea. It went extremely badly.

• They now have an inside joke that whenver there’s some horrible concoction of booze and god knows what being served at a party one of them goes “hey at least it’s not cofftea!!” And then they both pretend to laugh hysterically in order to mess with people at the party.

• Whenever thanksgiving comes around, they tune into the dog show that happens after the Macy’s parade just to play a game called “how many rats could it take in a fight” where they judge each dog in the show by guessing how many rats it would take to defeat it.

• Gideon (cat) likes Kim a lot but weirdly enough he licks Kim’s hands whenever he can. Sometimes when she’s just resting her hand somewhere, he specifically comes into the room to just lick it. Kim is very annoyed by this but finds it just endearing enough to let him do it.

• Ramona is trying to teach Kim how to skate. Kim is a clutz so it’s not exactly going well

• Ramona and Kim regularly go to smashing rooms together (they’re these places where they give you some smashy weapons like hammers and bats and roll out a bunch of breakable stuff like old tvs for you to smash. They exist irl and are very cool).

• Ramona is very much prone to simulation sickness, i.e. getting really motion sick when playing video games. One time she tried out playing on a gameboy that Neil gave her for her birthday and after 45 minutes of playing she immediately needed to go throw up in the bathroom. Kim sat by her while she hurled into the toilet, patting her on the back occasionally.

• They are both chronic insomniacs, but in different ways. Ramona often just straight up cannot sleep, while Kim falls asleep fairly quickly but repeatedly wakes up in the middle of the night. They both have the same remedy for their insomnia when it happens, going downstairs and drinking some lemon soda. Whenever their insomnia syncs up and they see both of each other downstairs, they say hi and then both pretend that the other doesn’t exist (lovingly).

• they tend to gossip with each other about their exes (especially Scott). Kim tells dumb stories about Scott being a weirdo in high school and Ramona has gallons of scolding hot tea to share.

• Gideon attempted to reassemble the league in order to fight Kim, but none of them really wanted to fight her. Lucas felt bad about beating up a girl, Todd was too busy having his gay awakening to care about Ramona anymore, Roxie was already very good “friends” with Kim so she was an auto no-go, and the twins were just kinda over the whole league thing and were too busy with their music carreer, so the only one who showed up was Matthew. He proceeded to fight Kim in a very similar fashion to how he tried to fight Scott (crashing one of her gigs) but the two ended up having a heart to heart about how high school relationships can suck a lot and can still affect you into adult life. They both came out of it as better people and Matthew just kinda left. He strode into the sunset if you will.

• They nuzzle each other’s noses… a LOT.

I think that’s all I can come up with right now I think. If I do come up with more I’ll make another one of these I suppose. If any of you wanna submit hcs for me to put into a post send an ask please please please please

Special thanks to @subspace-surfer for helping me come up with some of these! Lil headcannons like this are surprisingly tricky for me to come up with. I specialize more with lengthy rants.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Today’s replies! We’re covering a lot of topics today: some are related to our posts from this week so far, then there is one about Scott Pilgrim Takes off, and one about the Shingeki no Kyojin fanart. Let’s start with the latter one.

amydesailes asked:

Hi!

I remember a few years ago you were drawing a lot of snk related stuff. Do you think that you are making a comeback sometime? I feel like the fandom is much more calmer now.

Ohh that was such a long time ago and it was such fun time… well, a lot of it was stressful as hell because of the fandom and the shipwars and the non-shipping crowd who are quick to shit on artists who draw niche things; but to be honest, this isn’t the only reason why we stopped posting snk fanart. The main reason was that we were getting burnt out and wanted to consume some new media, and it’s nothing unusual or bad: it happens all the time. We dive deep into the title, have a lot of ideas, create AUs, draw and post stuff, and then after some time we move on. There are some titles that we revisit every other year or so, without diving too deep into them, and sometimes we just randomly remember about the characters and get the urge to draw something with them (we’ve done a couple of Zevi sketches even after technically stopping posting snk, as you might’ve seen).

With SnK, even though it’s been quite a few years already, I think it’s still kind of fresh in our minds, so we don’t have anything new to say with our posts or my art…yet. So I can’t really predict when we’ll come back, but you know what they say; a criminal always returns to the scene of the crime lol We love Shingeki very much, so even if it takes a long time, it’s inevitable.

Also, we are very grateful to have people who remember our stuff from back then and even wait for us, I am honestly surprised by it... So thank you so much for asking <3

Anonymous asked:

Which one of the Scott Pilgrim girls do you like? And other than Todd and Wallace, which other male character do you like?

My absolute favourite is probably Julie, and it’s partially because I have the Aubrey Plaza Bias, but I also really liked what they did with her character in the anime. She has the best faces, she’s so animated and so evil. I would love the second season (that we won’t get) simply to look at her more lol

I am also super weak for Kim, she and Julie both are my “best girls”. Kim’s personality just perfectly fits the type of character that I usually like, and I really like the bitter-sweetness that comes with it.

Speaking of the anime specifically, I also really like what they did with Ramona and Roxie. Their relationship didn’t get much depth in the movie (for obvious reasons, they didn’t have time to dive deeply into any relationship), and it was very delightful to see them work through what happened between them… in a way, I guess. Plus, Roxie is an idiot and that’s awesome lol

Ep3 was too much for me in general, all the girls’ interactions were very good + oh my god Hollie’s hot.

Now for the guys… Oh, Gideon, absolutely, he is great. He is such a highlight of the movie, we adore him a lot. So it was interesting to see his trajectory in the anime, and I am very happy that he is just… naturally evil and controlling fuck lol

Matthew was very enjoyable in the anime and I’m glad he got more attention, Lucas was animated very nicely and had a couple of very funny lines. I also think I developed a soft spot for Stephen at some point lol

hipsterteller asked:

I saw Vil and Neige they look so cute together…

characharing asked:

neige and vil look so smallll it's cute!

Thank you so much!! <3 I’m happy you like them hehe.

Anonymous asked:

Aw...that's cute. What life be like if those two were friends or more?

Rook wants a picture of Neige and Vil as kids

Vil would have a much calmer life, that’s for sure… I honestly can’t think of any downside of that scenario, other than it would’ve robbed us of Vil’s meltdowns over Mira’s search results lol

Oh Rook will get that picture; I am 100% that he would somehow manage to get it. This is his treasure, his most important possession; he’ll be buried with that photo…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

AWWWWWEEEE BABY VIL AND BABY NEIGH!!!!

I for sure feel like it should be canon that Neige fell for Vil around a certain part of their youths, like maybe it was for a show scene and Neige sees Vil by a tree for the scene and BOOM! CUPID STRUCK OUR BOY HARD

HEHEHE IT’S THEMMM!!!!

Yeah I’m 100% sure that Neige fell for Vil back then. Not only Vil was so cool and professional and mature, but he was also so so so pretty. Even if their characters weren’t supposed to fall in love and Neige’s character was supposed to be bullied by Vil’s character, Neige just couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty Vil is. And not a single person noticed… That’s why he’s a great actor lol

Anonymous asked:

Honestly who in the cast do you think could actually settle down with one another in some type of lasting relationship? I think Trey/Riddle for example or Azul/Idia (I feel like they count because even it is business, it's a binding thing yk)

~ 🐩 anon 

Oh good question! Other than Trey/Riddle and Azul/Idia, the first couple that comes to mind is Rook/Vil, who pretty much already feel like a couple that’s been together for quite some time. Their household situation would probably be complicated, but in general they’re each other’s partners for life I think.

I would also say ADeuce but they’re the type of couple who is always together but just can’t settle down because of some stupid reasons. Jack might steal Deuce from Ace and settle down with him lol Who else… Kalim and Jamil are stuck together, they don’t count lol

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Jamil spending eternity being in Azul's captivity.

(this is related to our latest AzuJami art… I think)

Not only this sounds hot, this sounds like Azul’s absolute dream… And he sees that dream every night, and this is why he sleeps with a smile on his face, that creep.

Anonymous asked:

Even if you don't see him as a top

Vil would be amazing at aftercare and you know it!

(this one is related to our aftercare hc post)

I agree, Anon! I actually wanted to mention him in the post because of that. He knows everything there is to know about aftercare and which products work the best. He is so well-prepared for that it’s almost ridiculous.

Jamil is also good at it, but he basically had no choice but to get good lol

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Hey what the best and worst thing about writing your rewrite (currently reading it btw.Very good stuff)

For season 4 (if you ever get to doing that I mean) is it gonna stay similar to how it was in show or is it a complete overhaul in general ?

If so what changes do you have in mind for Believix ,Roxy,the earth fairies, Tir Na Nog and the white /black circle?

Thank you so much for the ask! I'm sorry, I got started writing and couldn't stop but since I'm at my computer I manged to hide this post that got Extremely long under a cut.

Also to anyone reading this who might be curious on my magic system, I have an abridged post explaining it here.

The best part is lore and worldbuilding and the consequences of those because oh boy do I sure love space and weird magic fuckery! I also greatly enjoy getting to expand on the things that were in the original story or at least implied but were never fully explained (such as timeline issues or planets that get brought up once and never again).

My least favourite part is kind of a weird one, it being the characters. You know, the whole reason for the story. But this is kinda because 1. I don’t have much skill in writing people and 2. Because I actually never learned how people work irl for whatever reason and tbh I hardly even know how I work, so having to get into the minds of characters and figure out how they think feel about things is definitely a struggle. Though I wouldn’t have started this rewrite if I wasn’t up for the challenge!

As for Season 4.

Here’s the thing, about season 4. There's a lot I really like about it and it introduced some really cool new elements to the story, but there’s a lot of things about it that I really don’t like, which is why when I first started this rewrite and planned out my general timeline, I made the very controversial decision to swap season 4 and season 2. I'll explain:

If Lord Darkar is basically a god of darkness and has been pulling the strings the whole time then it makes sense that he should be more of a final boss and have a build up instead of being revealed in season 2, doing fuck all and then getting defeated and never mentioned again. I want to build him up as an imposing evil that beings even as powerful as the Ancestral Witches kneel before. Which isn't really a thing that can be done in 2 seasons with the goal of the first season being defeat the Trix and getting Bloom used to the magic dimension.

Season 4 in place of season 2 is a bit more complicated to pull off but it still feels more coherent to me this way because you can introduce Roxy and Aisha together. And even if Roxy is a couple years behind them in school they can at least be trauma bonded together (/j). It also puts nearly everyone on uneven ground, giving them a lot of opportunities to develop and bond with each other as they all learn and adjust. It also helps that the Wizards are relatively lax enemies who aren’t showing up all the time to just generally ruin the Winx's day like the Trix, meaning there’s more room to show that growth too.

so to answer the second question, yes I'm doing season 4, but it is a complete overhaul.

As for the changes I'm making with season 4 plot points, there's a lot of them.

First and foremost, Believix. Due to the fact that season 4 is now season 2, the main 6 are going to be earning charmix (Roxy will earn it in season 3 instead of Enchantix because she is younger and far more inexperienced with magic), though how they do so will have a few tweaks (most notably that they actually know about Charmix prior to earning it). Believix as a transformation might be used in a possible story after the main one (seasons 1-4) ends, though I can say if it is, it will definitely be altered significantly. What I will be using, though again altering, are the Gifts of Destiny for the new season 4. I'm not gonna be elaborate a whole lot about this specific topic right now as I'm still progressively making my way through the first 2 seasons with an occasional thought thrown into the 3rd.

Secondly the Earth fairies, Tír na nÓg (teer-na-nohg, the original Irish spelling that I am Infinitely petty about) and The Wizards of the Black Circle are also Very. different. This would've been brought up in a post about the timeline I have yet to make for whatever reason, but using actual Irish myth about Tír na nÓg and a little bit of finaglling, I did my best to fix the weird timeline issue and because I don't forsee myself making a post about this any time soon I'll just explain it all here (though be warned because while I tried my best to explain things thoroughly (which also lead to a lot of text), I, as someone rewriting a story, have the benefit of foresight and so there are many interconnected plot points and elements that I haven't gotten around to explaining yet that might be a little confusing).

First off, The White and Black Circles. A Circle is a physical maifestation of a magic oath that binds you (and however many others there are) to a cause. Once the cause is completed, the circle will dissolve and you can go pursue other things in life, but until then you are constantly pulled back and even caused some pain if you attempt to stray from the goal. Breaking a circle requires an incredible amount of magic and is still not easy for even the most skilled magic users. "The Oath of the Black Circle" was an oath made by a Clann wizards, a few years before the fall of Domino, with the goal of ridding the Magic Dimension of fairies, who spread themselves out across the Magic Dimension like a plague. They split off into different, efficient factions, effectively eliminating a significant number of fairies and removing their wings (which, in my rewrite, do not grow back and leave a permanent scar). For the most part however, they weren't effective enough and, with the outbreak of war in the Magic Dimension after Domino's fall and the rise of the Company of Light, nearly all factions were eliminated before they could truly complete their goal. All but one. The faction sent to Earth.

Earth is at the edge of the Magic Dimension and the people of that world generally like to keep themselves and their magic to themselves, so it wasn't until the Wizards had already begun attacking the world that they actually discovered what was going on. The Wizards were ruthless in their hunt, hardly stopping at fairies after they discovered they could take the magic from other magical beings too. Earth was completely unprepared for an attack of such voracity and despite Queen Morgana and her Regent Nebula's best efforts to organise an army, they and every other magic being ended up having to retreat through a portal to Tír na nÓg opened by their Nymph, Lugh (Loo), fairy of shapeshifting.

(Before I go on I will just explain that, for each type of magic there is a being who is said to have made it (fire and the Great Dragon), a dimension dedicated to that magic exclusively (water and the Infinite Ocean), and each world has a main magic type that the vast majority of magic beings born there will have (Earth being form manipulation/shapeshifting and that magic being almost exclusive to Earth). The best ways to open a portal to a dimension is to be on a world with that magic and to be a user of that magic)

As everyone retreated to the safety of Tír na nÓg, the Wizards found out and began figuring out a way to use this as a trap, Duman helping to come up with a spell that could seal the portal and prevent anyone from getting in or out, which under the clause of their circle, counted as ridding the Magic Dimension of fairies if they could round them up through the portal. Lugh caught wind of this and him along with Morgana and Nebula managed come up with a spell that would seal away Earth's magic to Tír na nÓg should the portal be blocked off. This, in their eyes, was protecing their magic.

Both plans ended up working, though with some consequences. Morgana and Nebula lost their wings and were trapped in Tír na nÓg with everyone else. Lugh had to stay behind, both to protect Earth and to make sure the spell stuck, though in his efforts to do so, he also lost his wings. The Wizards though, they got caught up in the seal, freezing them inbetween dimensions and between time. Nobody on the other side of the portal knows how things played out beyond that both plans worked, and the rest of the magic dimension having minimal contact with Earth anyway and still being busy with war knew even less, just that Earth somehow lost its magic and everyone magical on it almost overnight.

The magic art of shapeshfting and form manipulation was subsiquently lost until Wizgiz was hired to work at Alfea and he began teaching it in an effort to revive it. It's not an exam subject though so everyone just treats it as a doss class.

The White Circle was formed by Nebula after she gave into grief and rage, swearing along with several other fairies that should they ever get out Tír na nÓg that they will not rest until the Wizards have suffered as they have. This mindset swept through the scared and angry people of Tír na nÓg causing a revolt against Morgana who only wanted to move on past this horrific event. Morgana and her husband were kicked off the throne and became outcasts for many years, enduring the violence of the people that they once ruled.

During this period, Morgana found out that she was pregnant which both her and Klaus were terrified about, knowing this was not a safe place or situation to raise their child but being unable to cope with the idea of losing it. They hid the pregancy from Nebula and the Major Fairies until their baby was born, where they still continued to try and hide. The Major Fairies were beginning to grow suspicious of Morgana and Klaus however and the couple knew that if they didn't do something soon, all 3 of their lives could be in danger.

It was around time that Morgana felt a shift in the barrier, like something had caused a small crack, and with enough magic it could be opened just enough to send a person and their baby through. Nebula felt this too however since she was also involved in the creation of the seal. She assumed Morgana was up to something, probably trying to escape without everyone else, and sent out an order to arrest her. In a panic, Morgana and Klaus agreed that he would leave with their child and he would wear a ring that muddled his memories and generally hid the two of them from magic since they didn't know if the Wizards were still lying in wait for someone to try and escape. It was a risk they were willing to take though if it meant the safety of their child.

And so Morgana was permanently imprisoned within the dungeons of Nebula's new kingdom and Klaus managed to just about get out with their kid. Klaus's escape had managed to open the gap just enough to let the Wizards slowly get out too, one by one.

Every single one of those 6 entered a whole new world when they got out due to the nature of Tír na nÓg. While it had only been 10 years in Tír na nÓg, it had been a thousand years everywhere else. Klaus immediately got to work setting up a life for him and his kid, almost completely forgetting about any life he might have had prior, and the Wizards realised that somehow, they had missed a fairy because their circle hadn't broken. They spent the next 15 odd years trying to get their bearings, figure out what the world is like now, and find a way to locate a fairy that seems to be completely hidden from their magic.

A huge magical event involving the stealing a certain Flame is what drew them to begin investigating Gardenia.

and there you have it! the entire history leading up to season 4 2's events!

Not exactly what you asked for, but I do hope you got something interesting out of this!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Can I ask for Ingo and Emmet for that newest ask game? :3

you most certainly can!! (send me a character ask game)

First impression: i actually had skipped the battle subway in bw so when i played pla, my first impression on meeting ingo was "this guy is coded like a cameo from another game. not sure which one tho. anyway he looks like a stuffed animal that went through the washing machine by accident and i just know there is a certain sect of lesbians on tumblr who are going to want to put him in a bug jar." and i was right on all counts. i'm ngl my first emmet impression was probably largely based on fan content before i actually went back to see the canon stuff so it was mostly "damn, giratina (arceus?) should Not have separated these two"

Impression now: DAMN, THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE SEPARATED THESE TWO. ingo is my special lil guy who is duty oriented until it kills him and very competent and unreasonably polite which are all character traits that do in fact make me, personally, wanna put a dude in a bug jar. emmet is. my guy my man he's me he's my everything i'm incapable of talking coherently about him.

Favorite moment: gotta be the only time i have ever bothered to go through the hassle of exporting a whole video clip from my switch when ingo loses to the protag in your first battle. he is so happy about it... when else does he smile that genuinely... waaaahh...

Idea for a story: uh hmm the problem here is all my story ideas are in my pinned or my pitches tag lmfao. i guess one thing i've been rotating is it would be fun to do something else with the oop-canon thing where neither of them fully remember each other but also don't have a ton of spare time to interrogate the situation, bc i think it's a fun take. some other scenario where emmet doesn't even remember that they're twins, they're just both like, "alright, you look exactly like me, that's goddamn weird, but fuck it, we've got bigger problems so let's just work together for now." i like how quickly they fall into lockstep without knowing why. i think it's fun

Unpopular opinion: i know i've said it before but LET THEM KICK ASS! for real! they are hypercompetent pokemon trainers who also manage the cat herding business that is a subway system that doubles as legal wrestling tournaments. they're probably stronger than most gym leaders, if not the elite 4, just by virtue of how much battling they're constantly doing against such a variety of opponents. they're clever and capable of very quick thinking in a wide range of situations and very capable of both reading/understanding and guiding/managing others. they should not be losing to FUCKING WILD POKEMON in basically any scenario. they should be so hard for anyone in hisui to rattle bc none of this is NEW to them. they're just built different. also let emmet specifically be a competent adult i am on my knees begging you

Favorite relationship: can i say each other, is that cheating. i feel like that's a given. it's just good. they are on the same wavelength and ready to back each other up basically all the time and not even getting smote by god itself can change that. OTHER than that i'm a big fan of them w/ the surveyfam. lav and cyllene specifically i think they would all make a fun squad together. fuck, this is what i shoulda said for the story idea section. i want to expand on that like, 5 sentence thing from a while back where they were both in jubilife together along with the protag in a similar situation, bc i think that's a fun idea. kamado's headache is never going away ever again

Favorite headcanon: hmmmmm shit i have too many to choose. does asj qualify as a single headcanon or is that too expansive. oh, this is a random thing, but i still really like the idea that they're like, roxie's uncles or cousins once removed or something, through their birth family that they largely avoid interacting with other than a few people who are mostly chill. they're VERY different wrt personality but roxie's got this unexpected responsible streak when she's arguing with her dad, i think it makes for a fun connection.

[dotjade]

spoilerts for scotts pilgrim anime

oh scott pilgrim anime is good

i loved being thrown off by the first episode and then getting introduced to a series that tackles all the things that i both wished to see in the original comic and had hoped would be addressed due to the impact a lot of specific events and happenings in the comic had on it's fans and the Internet (you know the ones.) and it resulted in a short, wonderful series that left me more in love with this story and it's characters than before, and in a way where i can more confidently say "yeah i love scott pilgrim" because finally there's a modern take on this set of characters that makes it easier to acknowledge both their flaws AND what makes them fun, enjoyable characters

it's also really interesting in that regard to how it treats these characters who in the comic just didn't have this kinda development and how they scale up or down their impact overall in order to make that fit more. like knives isnt nearly as uncomfortably affectionate with scott as she is in the comic and movie and as a result her new character arc feels way more natural and incredibly welcome. and gideons whole "he really sucks" deal is not only made incredibly simple but also immediately taken down for the sake of making him, too, a character that you can like. also scott as a whole

yeah it takes away a lot of what made the original comics points but it doesn't feel like it's for a bad reason. the end result is creating a toned down scenario where these characters can reasonably *all* see some redemption and improvement instead of needing to die and blow up into a lot Of Coins. it's basically an official AU that still tackles a lot of what the original sets out to do and i love it. i love getting to love these characters and see a side of them that the same story we've seen in a comic, a movie and a game never let us see, even if it meant changing up a bit of these characters original Deals

also i love roxie and her episode made me so damn happy and is easily the primary thing that makes me love this new story as much as i do. this character got the short end of the stick so damn much especially considering who they are and to see them get this moment they needed SO fucking bad immediately in the show just sold me on the rest of it

if i really wanted to get into it i could ramble on about this an insane amount and i'd probably stop making sense after a certain point but essentially . i really liked scott pilgrim, and this anime gave me reason to like it in ways i never got too, and that's pretty nice :)

[eyndr-stories]

To Be Alive (FNAF SB fanfic) C2 - Extreme Bumper Cars

In summary:

At long last, the thrilling continuation of 'To Be Human'! There are more shenanigans for Star and co to get up to, and new horrors to be subjected to! Not to mention, Eclipse is still at large and up to no good... As 'To Be Human' is a self contained stand-alone story, one could very well choose to leave the adventure as is! Considering there are some heavier themes in this one (biggest thing here being death, specifically) that's exactly what I would recommend you do if you like everything very much the way it ended in 'To Be Human'. This story is an exploration of a few ideas I wanted to work with left over from the first story, and a way to tie up some very minor loose ends, as well as a return to some characters and a world I had a lot of fun with.

Things To Know:

Reader insert! Y/N is not used and gender is not specified, though the reader does have a blorbo-appointed name (Star)

Non-specified relationships between reader and Sun & Moon, this can be read as pals, family, partners, whatever you like, totally up to your interpretation

Sun & Moon are separate bots and referred to with gender neutral pronouns

The reader and other characters are often in mortal peril! This world is full of Funky Creatures (other than you) and some of them attack and hurt several characters, including the reader character

Some blood and minor gore

Occasional swearing

Death

(as always, let me know if I should add anything!)

Ao3 link: Right here!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

C2 - Extreme Bumper Cars

     "WHAT."

     You turned to Monty, who'd grabbed your shoulder.

     "Mind running that by me one more time??" Monty asked, his voice unnaturally high.

     "I don't want you all to worry," you started, patting Monty's arm. "We found out a little while ago."

     "How? Why??" Foxy questioned, sounding just as concerned as everyone else looked.

     "Well…" Sun spoke up, all four hands folded into tight pairs. "As you know, the air is clean of the toxic chemicals from the asteroid that killed the last humans left on Earth. However, as we've discovered, the earth itself is not. The toxins were absorbed into the ground. Every plant, every new organic creature born after the asteroid contains some of the same toxin, which Moon and I theorize is how some mutations in some of the animals occurred as well. The toxin is deadly to humans, as we know. It is, unfortunately, everywhere. In all the food Star needs to eat, and the water they need to drink."

     "We're working on a cure, of course. We've been working very hard, and making good progress, it's just… painfully slow going," Moon added, their voice tinged with impatience.

     "…" Monty stared at you intently. You couldn't read his expression.

     "Hon, I'm so sorry," Chica offered quietly.

     You shook your head. Everyone was worried about you, they were all upset, and that wasn't what you wanted. "It's alright. Listen, everything dies eventually. Even if I wasn't at risk of dying soon, just by being human, I wouldn't live as long as any of you by a long shot anyways. It's really not so bad."

     "Oh. Oh no," Freddy mumbled.

     Monty pulled you into a hug. Even as he nearly crushed you into putty, you could see that everyone was sad now. Foxy put their hand on their head and leaned back against the counter. Bonnie looked close to tears and was gripping Freddy's hand tightly. Even Roxy looked upset.

     Dammit. That was supposed to have made things better. Fuck.

     "Like Moon said, we're working hard on a cure! And we really have been making progress, so lets not loose hope just yet. Star's going to be just fine," Sun stated, sounding a little strained.

     "The cure would also help any humans who might decide to return to Earth some day. And from their research they're also learning more about the creatures in the forest too! So everyone will be safer," you added. The good news and assurances seemed to raise everyone's spirits a little, so you went on. "Please don't be sad. You're my friends, I don't want any of you to be sad. Like Sun and Moon said, they're working really hard, so I'm sure they'll have a cure in no time and everything will be fine."

     "We can't help caring about ya. You're right though, no sense in getting our wires in a bunch just yet." Foxy straightened up and gave you a gentle pat on the head.

     Monty reluctantly released you from his crushing hug. "You better make it out alright, you hear me?"

     "I'll try my best," you said. All this attention and concern and care was getting to be too much. "Lets all go see Roxy's race, okay?"

     The group all agreed, brightening up for what you suspected was your sake. You hoped the race would get everyone in better spirits. Together, you all closed up shop and headed out as a group towards the other end of town. You stowed your new notebook and pens away in your bag, and your ukulele had a handy strap on it that allowed you to carry it over your back with your bag.

     The streets became more and more populated the farther in you went. You had your hood up and were surrounded by your friends, so you didn't draw too much attention. Sun and Moon, on the other hand, did draw a few eyes. After publishing their research and findings around you and the history of what happened to the humans, they'd become celebrities, to some degree. Especially in the human fanatic circles.

     Despite your disguise, you still found yourself the center of attention once or twice along the way. Usually bots would spot Sun and Moon first, and then would notice you, their famous human creation. You didn't mind the attention very much, didn't even mind the questions bots would ask you about humans and human culture. These bots were just excited and never meant any harm. And, admittedly, all the adoration and amazement was nice too. Roxy seemed to be getting annoyed at having to stop, though. The others didn’t mind, especially Bonnie and Freddy, who seemed to be off in their own little world when they weren’t in the shop. They were holding hands and smiling and chatting with each other quietly, laughing occasionally.

     "Maybe we should get disguises as well," Moon muttered after politely excusing themself from a pair of boxy one-eyed bots who reluctantly rolled away on heavy duty wheels. Both bots looked to have had a paint job done recently, sporting bright blue and yellow colors.

     "Oh please, you love the attention," Sun teased.

     Moon scoffed. "I just don't mind that no one looks down on us anymore. We're viewed as legitimate scientists now."

     "We were legitimate scientists before, regardless of what anyone said," Sun pointed out.

     "Yes, yes." Moon waved them off. "In any case, Eclipse could have eyes anywhere."

     Sun nodded. "We can look into disguises later."

     The lot of you made it to the race track without issue. It was Roxy's turn to draw attention now. A lot of bots here knew her as a racer, and she had quite a few fans. Working downhill through the crowd and towards the track was slow going as Roxy proudly greeted each and every fan. Bots of all types were gathered here, on the edge of town between the track and the buildings and bustling streets. You couldn't help but stare, especially since all the attention was on Roxy, and no one would really notice your ogling. A lot of bots were similar in design, but with modifications and paint being as accessible as they were, no two bots looked the same. As far as general models go, you'd learned to recognize three distinct types.

     There were bots that looked to have been made solely for specific jobs or tasks, for instance a particularly tall bot who stood out in the crowd, towering over everyone with thick telescopic limbs and wide hand-like appendages, who you guessed was good with construction, lifting heavy things up higher than most could reach. You nearly ran into a different bot, someone smaller than you, with a blur of small limbs folding in and out as they navigated the crowd, each limb fixed with dozens of fine little tools, clearly made for detail work of some sort.

     Slightly less common were bots like the repair gang, modeled after animals and ancient creatures. These types of bots were, as you'd been told, some of the very first models ever built, their accessible blueprints left by the humans making them easy to build more of and improve on. These bots tended to serve any manner of different roles in society, going where they were needed, their designs being more adaptable, albeit less specialized.

     Least common were bots like Sun and Moon. These bots resembled humans the most, having originally been crafted in their likeliness. Although, as Sun and Moon had told you, they'd gotten a few mods in their time, the biggest change from their original design being an extra pair of arms. These humanoid bots, as you'd been told, had been built from prototypes and early stage creations from humans figuring out how to build the first iterations of sentient bots. These bots tended to be more complex, their blueprints less clear and less accessible. A large part of their design included the technology that made them self sustaining, energy producing robots. As you'd been told, reverse engineering the tech and figuring out how to make every bot self sustaining was extremely difficult not only because of how rare these bots were, but also because to make any actual progress on this research, a volunteer bot would need to be deactivated. Needless to say, focusing on alternatives like renewable energy were far more preferable.

     You were pulled from your thoughts as you and your friends found a spot close to the track, at the front of the crowd. A short concrete wall was all that separated you from looping dirt roads. Everyone wished Roxy luck as she departed, hopping the wall and heading out onto the track towards the warehouse turned garage at its center. Seated atop this building, looking out over the entire track and the crowd was the race's moderator, an enormous bot everyone called the DJ. They would provide fast paced and energetic music during the race, as well as move any wrecked vehicles off the track with their extendable limbs and claw-like hands. The first time you'd come to see a race, you'd been warned about the DJ's associate, a miniature version of the DJ who was allegedly no taller than your knee. The mini DJ would scurry throughout the crowds and rob distracted bots of any valuables and loose batteries during the race.

     Speaking of the DJ, their music started up, signaling the race was starting soon. The crowd settled and pressed towards the wall surrounding the track.

     You pat your hands excitedly along the top of the wall. You ignored the headache pounding dully at your skull and focused instead on the music.

     Ten vehicles all lined themselves up at the starting line as the music thrummed with enough force to shake the pants around your legs. You could easily see Roxy's car from here, with its neon green painted metal ring encircling it, a sturdy barrier between Roxy and the other vehicles.

     "Woo!! You got this Roxy!!!" Chica cheered beside you.

     Out on the line, you could see Roxy's hand pop out of the open top of her car. She gave a quick wave, and then the music began to build as the DJ readied their giant flag.

     The DJ gave their flag a little spin, then brought the flag down sharply, exactly on time with the beat drop, and the race began.

     Vehicles tore away from the starting line, leaving a cloud of purple dust in their wake. Roxy looked to be squarely in the middle, where most of the chaos was happening. The bumper around her car kept her from getting crushed between something that looked like a tank, and another vehicle with three connected segments.

     Three cars were out of the race before the first bend. One looked to have been caught in some kind of tar spillage, and the DJ was having some trouble plucking it off the track. They'd already taken the other two vehicles off the track, one having spun off and hit the wall around the garage. The other had flipped and rolled, but you could see its driver fuming outside the wreckage, angrily kicking at their totaled vehicle.

     Back in the race, Roxy was steadily pulling ahead. She hugged the curves tightly, her car drifting smoothly around tighter turns. She was neck and neck with what looked like a cannon on wheels.

     "If she gets ahead of that cannon, she'll be in it's range," Chica said.

     "Is that allowed?? A canon for a car?" you asked, struggling to project over the music and the cacophany of noise form the track.

     "Aye, there’s no rule against it," Foxy told you.

     Monty added, "There are actually very few rules in racing! It’s the best."

     Speaking of the canon car, it fired a cannonball at a car ahead of it. The car was very small and nimble, running on only three wheels, and had been doing a great job of dodging and weaving around the chaos of colliding cars. The small car narrowly avoided getting crushed under the cannonball. The canon car swerved around their cannonball. The car tailing behind them wasn’t as quick, and collided with the cannonball. The DJ quickly pulled the car off the track.

     Roxy pulled ahead as the canon car was loading up another cannonball. She had almost passed the smaller car when the tank from before swerved, slamming into Roxy's bumper ring. The tank didn't let up, the massive machine easily shoving Roxy's smaller car along until it was pinned between the tank and the outer wall. The friction with the wall forced Roxy's car to slow, and she fell back behind the tank.

     "Oh no, she's in range of the canon-!" Chica yelled.

     The cannon fired, cannonball crashing right into Roxy's bumper ring, narrowly missing the car itself. The cannonball tore off the left half of her ring, which rolled and tumbled as it tore away, and ended up flying right into the canon car. The debris threw the massive canon off balance. The car careened to the side, tipped, and rolled. It took out another car as it fell out of the race, then was carried off to the garage by the DJ.

     Four cars left. Roxy was still in it, though her car looked a little off balance and would tilt dangerously if she turned to the right a little too fast. Which was bad news, as a sharp right curve was coming up, the last loop before the final stretch to the finish line.

     The segmented car was currently in the lead, though the small nimble car was gaining on it. Roxy was alongside the tank again, which was already veering to try and crush her car against the outer wall again.

     At the last moment, Roxy hit the brakes, quickly falling behind the tank and pulling around the other side of it as the tank slammed into the wall, and kept going. The tank crashed right through the outer barrier, its treads getting caught up on the concrete as it rolled over the wall. Rubble from the barrier clogged up the treads, and the tank was out of the race. Roxy wasn't out of trouble yet, though; the turn was upon her.

     Roxy's car spun, and for a moment, you thought it might be finally careening out of control, but it only spun one-eighty degrees. Roxy quickly shifted gears, and she was suddenly driving backwards, with the half of the bumper still in tact now facing the outer edge of the turn. She made the turn with ease without tipping.

     The crowd went wild at the stunt. You could barely hear the music for a moment over the cheers. Chica was jumping up and down excitedly next to you, Monty and Sun were both yelling, Foxy was laughing with amazement, Freddy and Bonnie were cheering, even Moon looked impressed.

     It wasn't over yet, though. The segmented car and the nimble car were neck and neck, and Roxy was still gaining. The finish line was in sight.

     The nimble car slowed slightly. It came up beside the segmented car, lining up right with the contracting accordion connecting the first two segments together. The cars were close enough now that you could see the driver of the nimble car pop up, their arm wound back for a punch. They launched a spring loaded fist right into the accordion connecting the segments of the other car. The accordion shuddered and snapped, and the segments collided together, the force too much for the back segment to handle alone. The car careened to the side and rolled, nearly taking out Roxy, who'd come up right behind. She swerved, still driving backwards. She was quickly gaining on the nimble car, and it looked like the nimble car couldn't work up enough speed to outpace her.

     "It's gonna be close!" Chica said.

     Roxy was starting to pass the smaller car, moving up along its right side. The smaller car had other plans, though. The driver popped up again as the nimble car drifted closer to Roxy, no bumper on that side to stop them.

     Roxy spun again, managing to pull off the stunt quick enough to nail the other car with the bumper as it spun around, colliding with the smaller car. The smaller car was knocked away before the driver could throw their punch, and while the driver managed to swerve and keep the car from crashing, they lost a great deal of ground in the process, falling behind Roxy's car, just as it flew past the finish line.

     The music switched to a celebratory tune, and the crowd erupted in cheers. Roxy's car rolled to a stop a short ways away, and she jumped out and climbed up on top, facing the crowd and raising two triumphant fists, flashing a proud grin.

     You yelled and cheered along with your friends, heart still pounding from the excitement. Roxy ran over to greet everyone after graciously accepting her winning medal. She looked even happier to receive a big hug from Chica.

     You grinned at all your friends, all of them happy and excited. Monty and Foxy were exclaiming excitedly with Roxy about the sick stunts she'd pulled, Freddy had lifted Bonnie in a celebratory hug and was spinning him around, Sun and Moon were congratulating Roxy on a race well won. You smiled and took it all in, wanting to hold this moment in your mind for as long as you were able.

     The moment kept you in high spirits, even as you said farewell to everyone and departed for the lab. It even kept you in high spirits through the whole walk home, even though you had to stop a lot more than usual to rest. You just couldn't seem to catch your breath.

     This didn’t go unnoticed by Sun and Moon. They sat with you in what you were calling the living room of your little home, that little area near the door with the chairs. You sat yourself in the nearest chair the moment you were through the door, barely managing to get your backpack off before doing so. Your two solar themed companions sat as casually as they could, though you thought they still looked uncomfortable.

     Sun looked at Moon, who looked back at Sun, who sighed.

     “So, Star,” Sun started. “How are you… feeling?”

     “Tired,” you replied honestly. It felt like you couldn’t take in enough air. The walk had left you entirely exhausted, though you were trying to hide it, breathing through your nose.

     “Right. But how are you doing, Star?” Moon asked.

     “…Oh.” You paused, looking away. “You mean like… with everything?”

     “Yes,” Moon confirmed, and Sun nodded.

     “Oh, I’m fine. I’m alright, not too stressed or anything,” you said.

     Moon and Sun both stared at you, clearly disbelieving.

     You sighed. “Alright. Yeah, I’m…I know I’ve faced my mortality before. Heck, I nearly died a few days ago when I fought off that big bird creature. But still, I… I don’t wanna die. I’m… scared.” You thought about the humans in the catacombs. This must have been how they felt. Like it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t your fault you were dying, there was nothing you could do about it. You’d done everything right, but it didn’t matter. You were still dying, and it wasn’t fair. It was terrifying, and there wasn’t anything to be done about the fear. No forest monster to fight off or flee from and be done with it. You just had to sit with it.

     “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. If there’s anything we can do to make it easier, let us know. And we’re going to keep working, okay? We’re going to find a cure,” Sun stated.

     “I’ve been compiling and sorting through notes in my head all day,” Moon said. “I’m sure Sun has been too. Even when we’re not working, we’re still working. It won’t be long now before we figure something out.”

     “Right.” You tried to let that assure you. You still hated the feeling that it was entirely out of your hands. You thought again about the humans in the catacombs. “It’ll be good to have a cure for the other humans too, if they ever come back to Earth. I would hate for the people in the catacombs to have all died saving the world just for the world to turn around and wipe out all the humans.”

     “We’ll find the cure, that’s for certain,” Sun assured. “It’s just a matter of… doing it quickly enough for you to have a long and healthy and happy life, like you deserve.”

     Moon got to their feet. “I think my circuits are going to fry if I keep sitting around. I’ll be down in the lab.” Moon paused beside your chair. They gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze, then carried on towards the door.

     “I’ll join Moon in a moment. First, I can make you some food. And then you should get some rest, alright?” Sun sprang to their feet as well, heading for the kitchen.

     “Alright.” Normally you’d argue and try to stay up, but you really were tired.

     As Sun moved around in the kitchen behind you, your eyes fell on the ukulele you'd set down with your bag. You picked it up and adjusted in your chair, getting comfortable. You started to play around with it, just enjoying the act of noise making.

     Before long, you were actually feeling a little better about things. You weren't sure what it was, but just something about having a little bit of fun really softened the fears.

     You played around with the ukulele until it was time to eat. Sun left to join Moon down in the lab, but not before wishing you a happy birthday. After you finished eating, you clambered up onto one of the top bunks, bringing your bag and all your things up with you.

     You stayed up for a while longer than you should have, testing out your pens in your new notebook. You doodled silly things, your friends, leaves and plants and creatures from the forest, and you practiced writing in that language all the bots used, and all the languages your brain could recall. Everything was rough and wobbly with your unpracticed hands, but the colors were nice and you were having fun.

     When you finally drifted off to sleep, your dreams were calm and kind and restful. All things considered, you'd had a pretty great birthday after all.

[melissa-titanium]

ive already decided all the weapons for the bkids but i am unsure if i should go for 5thgen ONLY for the specifics or just . EVERY MH GAME  which would defintieyl expand my options a bit but theres like........ 500 MILLION Monstesr and therefore 500 M IL L IO N  AR MOR SE TS  and i wouldnt know whatto choose :(

but for the bkids weapons:

egbert: hammer. duh! don’t think i really need to explain this one, but shes the type to go utterly berserk once the monster’s been downed from a stun. has cleared the entire area of mizutsune, theyre all too afraid to fight her (hehe.. me) she lands a LOT of ko’s and is infinitely frustrated by the fact that you need to SHARPEN a HAMMER. WHO NEEDS TO SHARPEN A HAMMER??! ITS A HAMMER GOD DAMNIT

dave: longsword. again, duh! dont think i really need to explain this! anime loser boy, it feels appropriate. he’s the type to waste his gauge on helmbreaker in world and didnt learn till iceborne that theres more than one charge level on it. i haven’t played longsword much so i wouldn’t know a lot of the specifics but i think he would deliberately always go hit the head just to knock everyone else over cause hes a bitch like that :heart:

rose: this one is really tough, im stuck between dualblades, cb, and ig, but i think i have to go for db!

come on. shes totes a db user.

funnily enough she reminds me a lot of the stealth dango dualblades in rise ! i would say she’d use those but i have a feeling she would think they’re too silly.

again i havent played much of dualblades but i think she would be one of the More Sane dualblade players, she doesn’t roll down the backs of monsters that often and makes sure she gets the ACTUAL  most damage out of an attack rather than doing whats cool (same thing with IG cause i know aerial attacks aren’t that powerful! atleast from what ive heard)

jade: lbg and hbg! but dabbles in other weapons (especially hunting horn) as well. she’s one of those insane motherfuckers that sets down an affinity booster and goes ham. decimates the monster in 10 seconds flat then carves like nothing happened. great to grind with, but when you’re really just trying to have fun i feel like she would end up going too fast

anddd for the alpha kids cause i just thought of them

jane: gunlance or greatsword! gunlance is known for poking and.. i guess that’s like forkkind? i LOOOVE gunlance and even though im not really good at it its very fun to play and it reminds me of jane :D AND GREATSWORD!!!!!!!!! it feels like almost every greatsword user (except me im not cool) is either SUPER DERANGED or SUPER CHILL or like... BOTH but not in themiddle. like a combination AND SHE TOTALLY FEELS LIKE IT.  she would fucking KILL with strongarm stance in sunbreak she is the one person in the hunt to land SO MANY KO’S AND PARTBREAKS that it honestly becomes concerning. takes a long time to charge up (she thinks focus is an un necessary skill) but its always worth the wait!

dirk: again with the anime longsword boy. except he’s like..really good atit unlike dave. hes pretty humble about it for the most part but GOD FUCKING FORBID he knocks anyone over (which he does) (alot) . he never says anything but anytime theyre all grinding for decor he is telepathically urging them all to get flinch free just so he wont screw up their attacks. his favorite monster is scorned magnamalo and i should kill him for that but i wont. im nice

jake: hmm hes a toughie! i’m stuck between lance and sns (bowguns go without saying duh) lance is totally a Page weapon but sns is a Jake weapon...... maybe he switches between the two who knows! he tends to over-judge a monsters attack and block too early or too late half of the time and is a corner healer (i think thats the term. the people that huddle off into the corner to heal from an attack while everyone else is in the middle of the battle) but he means well! he does a pretty decent amount of damage but most of his skills are health/defense oriented and he DEFINITELY has earplugs.

Roxy: SWAXE, INSECT GLAIVE OR LIGHT BOWGUN. she hasd so many fucking mods i think either her pc blew up 3 times or she got banned from multiplayer even tho im p sure mods r allowed in multi  . shes specil. she totally got introduced to the series via stories 2 and is the MOST into it out of everyone else on this list. she probably knows how to hunt in every single weapon but just so she isnt flexing she only plays swaxe and ig most of the time.......... she is SUUUPER fun to hunt with

[callmearcturus]

Masterpost Of Arc Fic

/taps all this into a calculator. So I have over 1,311,254 1,365,918 words of fic. I've written a lot of things, and I sometimes get asked what folks should try reading. I'm going to try to do a fast pitch on all of my major stories.

Now, it's at this point a running gag with my readers that a good chunk of them read my stuff without knowing the canon, to the point I make a conscious effort to structure many of my fics in a way that's friendly to reading them like original novels. But that's not the case for all of them. So I will mark the ones that are most friendly to people who don't know the canon:

✔️ Totally accessible to people who don't know the canon!

⚠️ Could be accessible to people who don't know the canon, but you'll need to be good at inferring from context clues or be willing to google one or two things!

🛑 Canon Lock-Out. This fic is either set in the canon material or relies on a lot of knowledge of the canon!

Now for my own recommendation scale.

🌟 I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF THIS STORY AND YOU SHOULD READ IT. I put a lot of work in and I think it holds up very well!

⭐ I think this is a pretty damn good fic, though maybe not one of my Best of The Best. Read these second unless the summary calls to you.

🐙 This is a Weird Story! Some of my stories are unabashedly very strange and this is one of them!

Okay lets get started. I'm ordering this by word count and separating by fandoms.

Homestuck

so we don't kill the ones we love (SWDKTOWL or KTOWL). 223,097 words (yeah). Explicit. ✔️🌟

Karkat Vantas has escaped Alternia, and landed himself in a brand new problem. To pay his way to Earth, he takes a contract with the Undying Umbra as an assassin and wetwork generalist. With a pricetag assigned to his life, Karkat assumes he just has to work his way out. Day by day, job by job, he's going to claw his way out from Under The Table. Then: He meets his handler, Dave Strider. And things get complicated. Like, really fucking complicated.

Vibes: This is my best story. Look at it like its own miniseries; it's separated into three arcs with two large intermissions, and has a very rigorous plot. Complicated characters with very different views of the situation, plot twists that recontextualize the story, a lot of moving parts, all navigated by one stubborn fucking protagonist who's superpower is that he cares too much about people in a world that does not. I'm extremely proud of this one, but its Enormous, so maybe read it second?

Hey, I read this one, what next? Try The Eurydice Suite for more Davekat. If you wish KTOWL focused on Dirk, Jake, Roxy, and Jane more, TWYCC.

/

you can only take what you can carry to the edge of the sea (TWYCC). 150,254 words. Explicit. ✔️🌟🐙

Crocker Magitech is among the foremost developers of innovative magic and technology for the modern home, and the team of Crocker, Lalonde, and Strider are among the most important cogs in their clockwork machine. After a long dry spell without new projects to work on, Jane hits it big with a grand new discovery: a remote island out in the South Pacific that’s teeming with lost majyyks to rediscover. What the team finds out there is far more than their next big break: a lost settlement, a forgotten god, strange arcane flora, and a friendly boy living in the lake. Not even the combined knowledge of the team can prepare them for their expedition to this strange, hidden island. Magic, sex, and mayhem ensue.

Vibes: This is the one that takes place on a remote island that's powered by tantric magic and involves a lot of strange xenokink. It's also the one about losing hope about finding your place in a world that doesn't seem to have a place for you and how to emotionally heal from that trauma. Both are true! Until KTOWL, I would say this was my best work. 

Hey, I read this one, what next? If you want more emotions, chamomile. If you want more weird xeno stuff, TSAD. If you want more weird magic specifically, earth and water.

/

we float before the sea at dusk. 119,572 words. Explicit. ✔️⭐🐙

Jake English is a minor celebrity of the sublight net who often goes on intragalactic adventures to amazing locales to share his excursions with his lovely followers. It can be very good press for new interstellar tourist traps, so he's used to being hired to check out new vacation spots. When his old friend Jane hires him, Jake winds up on Alcyone to promote the new resort CrockerCorp has opened there. There's but one small, remarkable detail about the planet: it's covered entirely in breathable liquid. It would make a perfect tourist trap. Shame it's already inhabited. (A very weird AU, in which humans try to settle a big waterworld to build a tourist hotspot, and the native mers enact castle doctrine.)

Vibes: Fucking balls to the wall weirdness, and yet prob the fic I got the most fun feedback on. There's hypnosis, spooky sexy alien mers, and a full on Soft Bad End. If you want to just experience something super fucking weird but also sexy, this one has you.

Hey, I read this one, what next? If you want even more intense weird kink, ear tags. If you want something with less of a bad end, TWYCC.

/

The Eurydice Suite, v2.0. 116,613 words. Explicit. ⚠️🌟

Dream-sharing: a highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams, and unearth their deepest secrets and memories. Within this business, the Strider-Lalondes are known as the best there is — until Dirk Strider gets his fool-ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden. To save him, the best and brightest dreamers in the world will have to form a team. Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the latest, greatest agent in the biz, and on the run through a dangerous tiered dream in a hostile mind… It's going to take a miracle to pull this one off.

Vibes: Did you watch Leverage? That's the vibe. This is the kind of story where a bunch of terrifyingly competent people have their skills and relationships put to the test. It's the sort of story where in chapter 4, you are told What The Plan Is solely so by chapter 6 you can see just how much the plan can fall apart. This is also by far the most Cinematic story I have ever written, and feels like watching a blockbuster movie. (But like a pre-MCU blockbuster, back when ppl knew wtf pacing was.) I personally think having some Homestuck knowledge helps understand the fic, but I've had multiple people tell me you can read it without knowing the canon. 

Hey, I read this, what next? If you want more hot Karkat, KTOWL. If you wanted more DirkJake and Roxy, ASAFAF.

/

chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants. 86,573 words. Explicit. ✔️⭐

"I do swear by Skaia's guiding light to eschew ambition and direction to serve in the holy retinue. I will lay my head in the safety of the bower and pay penance in thought and deed. For the King of All Winters and the Undying Prince, I will provide succor and balm, and yield my being to ease the burden he carries for us all." In which Dirk plays the role of resigned god-prince of Skaia, locked in a twisted version of the Year King fable. His life is a sorry routine until one year, he receives a very bold, strange offering from the heir to House Harley, Jake. A story about cycles, and how to break them, and the patterns left in the scattered pieces afterward.

Vibes: Isolation, winter thaw, a lot of very textured alchemic magic, and dark fairy tales. A very quiet story in many ways, driven by emotions and character arcs more than plot. This is one of my most popular stories. It has a small fun sequel, valerian, borealis, and other unusual marital aids. 

Hey, I read this one, what next? If you really like the vibe of the coda, a steady hand. If you want more royalty stuff, ASAFAF.

/

A Spark, A Flame, A Fire (ASAFAF). 56,156 words. Explicit. ✔️⭐

Deep in Derse's shadowy core languishes the stolen second-in-line to the Prospitian throne. He plays the part of reluctant Ambassador, though rather than politics he finds himself juggling the heavy heart of Derse's Prince, which he regrets ever asking for, and charting out his new life far from the Sunburst Court. Jake is grimly sure he'll never be warm again.

Vibes: Mountainous winter kingdoms, political intrigue without getting overcomplicated, finding you have a place in the world that wants you and fighting to keep it. Obnoxiously endearing clairvoyant twins. The inherent eroticism of late night tea. I came very close to spinning this off into its own OG novel but it was just too fucking long.

Hey, I read this, what next? Almost certainly chamomile.

/

pump your veins with gushing gold. 55,327 words. Explicit. ✔️

Dirk Strider goes out into the world with two goals: find something, and lose himself in the process. It works well enough until a handsome boy with bottle green eyes follows the trail of missed connections and ticket stubs right to his heart and decides to help himself to everything Dirk was determined to throw away. (Fae Jake/listless semi-sex addict Dirk, and a lot of self-indulgence.)

Vibes: Okay, I think this one is rough just due to how fast I wrote it, but it's by far one of my most lasting stories. People regularly bring it up. I plan on doing a clean up revision on it soon when I get the time. But the vibes are dark and sexy and dangerous, and emotionally complicated.

Hey, I read this, what next? The spiritual successor to GG is the Intermission chapters of KTOWL. You will enjoy them a lot, I promise.

/

ready to start the conquest of spaces. 54,664 words. Explicit. 🛑⭐

The only thing standing between Dave, Aradia, and Jake and their masters is their mandatory fieldwork. When Aradia has the brilliant idea to find the Temple of the Signless, it seems like an low-effort way to get those fancy initials slapped onto the end of their names. One tripwire of a prophecy later, and the Signless returns. Which doesn't look great for their easy final project. In fact, things only get more complicated from there.

Vibes: Very comedic weird story in which Dave, Aradia, and Jake accidentally bring the Second Signless, Karkat, back to life. There's a lot Fish Out Of Water humor but also prophecies and dream sex and Dave faced with the fact he's hiding a revived rebellion leader in his room.

/

all the world is earth and water. 35,289 words. Explicit. ✔️⭐🐙

It was pretty common knowledge around the mortals that you had to be wary of tradespeople. Not that they were all malicious or anything, but when you lived next door to beings with that much power, it paid to be careful. The problem is Dave Strider is not very careful.

Vibes: What if body horror was super gentle and romantic? This is a very gentle story with maybe my favorite magic I've ever written. It's short and very sweet. Read this one if you want something comforting.

Hey, I read this, what next? If the scope of this one appealed to you, try dustsceawung. If you liked the weird body horror stuff, TSAD.

/

The Magnus Archives

a steady hand, a delicate man. 52,899 words. Explicit. ✔️🌟

Martin is the proprietor and manager of a very discrete and fairly exclusive brothel situated between Belgravia and Chelsea. Blackwood House excels at special requests and pleasing any client. Except for Jon, who probably has never been pleased a day in his entire life. Despite that, he still comes back. It eventually begs the question: how do you solve a problem like Jon Sims?

Vibes: Sex work and the reasons people seek out submission and the tricky nuances of being a kinky asexual. A very light story. 

Hey, I read this, what next? chamomile has similar healing vibes, so maybe that one.

/

I (don't) come to you seeking peace. 42,496 words. Explicit. 🛑⭐

In his capacity as Peter Lukas' assistant, Martin dresses differently. The pale hues and muted blues of his family are smeared all over Martin like an bruise. It's formal. It's professional. For reasons he's not willing to examine right now, Jon cannot handle this. At all.

Vibes: Did you enjoy the claustrophobia and tension of TMA Season Four? But just wanted to see Jon go off his shits? This is the one for you. I find this one really dramatic and fun.

/

dustsceawung. 38,269 words. Mature. ✔️⭐

Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court. However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days. However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain. These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.

Vibes: Small spooky town, fae magic, textiles, and cozy romance. If you want something gentle practical magic and no real Bad Guy, try this one.

Hey, I read this, what next? Both chamomile and earth and water will scratch the same itch. If you wanna read a story about faeries but a less savvy protagonist, gushin gold.

/

ear tags. 33,617 words. Explicit. ⚠️🐙

Among all of the alterations made, the one that really draws Jon's eye is surprisingly mundane. He keeps looking at the ear tag.

Vibes: If TSAD is not intense and weird enough for you, then this is the next step up from that. This is body horror with worldbuilding, some very strange humor, and people making the best out of a weird spooky situation. TMA was a weird fandom, lemme tell you.

Hey, I read this, what next? As mentioned, TSAD for sure. If you really liked the "rationalizing a very specific weird kink for the real world" aspect, then Territory, Voice, and Choice.

/

Other Fandoms

dripping with alchemy. Borderlands, 34,501 words. Explicit. ⚠️

It wasn't that Rhys had anything against being an omega. He didn't have any self-loathing or resentment for how he presented. It was just easier with the suppressants, especially when you had his ambitions. Unfortunately, after sort of accidentally-on-purpose using them for years, Rhys finds himself very ill and having to quit his suppressants for his health's sake. Suddenly, he has to figure out how this whole omega thing works. There's plenty to learn.

Vibes: Kind of goofy, dangerous fun A/B/O fic set in a capitalist hellscape. This doesn't use my New System Of A/B/O, its more the standard trope set. Fun afternoon read.

/

Territory, Voice, and Choice: A Case Study in Isolated Societies in Desert Biomes. Welcome to Night Vale, 63,348 words. Explicit. ⚠️🌟🐙

The list of things in Night Vale worthy of study is long, and part of Carlos’ work in this strange desert community is deciding what takes precedence. With the impossible seismology, apparently psychotropic sandstorms, fake clocks, and whatever those deer are, there's just not enough time to cover everything. Also, call it an oversight, a budgetary limitation, or Carlos having seven degrees in natural sciences and none in social sciences, but studying the actual societal structure of Night Vale and its… peculiarities hasn't been a priority. Six months in Night Vale to the day, he's going to wish he'd taken the time. (The AU in which A/B/O exists… but only in Night Vale. And after six months of residency, the scientists have just officially become citizens.)

Vibes: I'm very proud of this one still. It is technically a WIP but it ends at a good point in the story. It kind of petered out because I accomplished everything I wanted to with it, and that's a a thorough retooling of the A/B/O trope. I… still super love this one, and it takes place in very early WTNV so canon knowledge shouldn't be an issue.

/

The Hunters' Initiative. Rooster Teeth RPF, 203,243 words. Explicit. ✔️🐙

Vibes: THIS IS PROBABLY THE OLDEST FIC I'M OKAY LISTING. It's super rough but it literally benefits from you knowing NOTHING about the source material, I think. Superheroes, learning how to be forgiven for terrible things, and the nature of identity and how to become something new.

[relaxxattack]

idk if you care about postcanon much but am i the only one that things that like....the base concepts from the epilogues couldve ended up being really good if they just. stuck to that, and maybe did away from ult selves???

like, in my mind the idea of post canon collapse and specifically dirks response to that was a very clever and in character concept and we'll never see what it couldve been with a little focus

ouurrrghhh the epilogues are so like. yes they Could Have been good; the idea of resolving wtf happened with lord english and vriska is GOOD. but the execution (and everything else) is just.... absolute Hell

the end of homestuck was, as everyone knows, kind of rushed because hussie was so burnt out, and as a result theres a lot of things that had Obvious unfinished bits. like, jade taking on the suffering of the retcon timeline is literally never addressed? jakes self esteem mental breakdown thingy is never talked out? dirk doesnt process his self hatred verbally? terezi doesnt get closure about vriska? dave never gets to actually come out to his friends despite really importantly and sweetly building up to it for like 947538 acts? karkat and kanaya dont get to fully explore that whole saving their race thing? kanaya and rose's relationship in general felt like they didn't get the closure they deserved after act six ...

homestuck was a story about characters talking things out with each other (sometimes way too much), and thats what made it earnest and sweet.

that was missing from the end of the story, instead getting replaced with a Big Epic Battle and some endscenes. and yes, the credits imply that things went happily, but like, they don't actually give Emotional Closure on those issues because the characters didn't get to talk them out the way they always have.

the epilogues in my opinion should've picked up where homestuck originally left off. OR, if they REALLY wanted to keep their earth C horrible political soap opera angst next gen clusterfuck, they could have at least kept adding "YEARS IN THE PAST, BUT NOT MANY..." chapters to re-address any of those left off plotlines.

like, yeah, homestuck was Good, and yes, i cried at the end. but they had a chance with the epilogues to go back and undo the mistakes of an author who was too tired to really help the characters reach their full potential, and instead they bashed every single character and made them into bitchy plot-drivers to create angst without personality. (like, FUCK can we talk about how jane and dirk's epilogue characterization goes against their entire character arcs? about how roxy's gender thing kind of spits in the face of all her obvious transfemme coding from hs proper and also makes dirk out to look like a dick for no reason?? can we talk about how jade dave and karkat all get reduced to only their love lives instead of any of their actual character struggles?? but that's another conversation)

conclusion: epilogues bad. they had some good concepts yes. commander karkat also fucks. but the epilogues just don't feel like homestuck. they aren't fun like homestuck and they don't scratch that magical itch homestuck does where it weirdly warps around through time to answer every question in a neat little bow. intead they just make more problems and more questions, forever.

[moogey-likes-things]

Can we get some general headcanons for the band members? Also love your blog!😊

THANK YOU, I just wish I knew who I was thanking, lol. Warnings: None Random HC's for the gang by me. These are just things I think about, take them as you will.

REBLOGS APPRECIATED

ASKS WELCOME, FOR ALL OR SPECIFIC CHARACTERS

Freddy – He's a lot more sensitive than he will let on. He's okay with showing care for his friends, be it through pride, concern, or being apologetic for some reason, but he still has a hard time being the one to ask for help. If he is hurting, or bummed out, he won't actively seek help for what is bothering him, but if someone notices he will be honest and grateful.

Chica – She has a keen eye for fashion. She can help you pick an outfit perfect for any occasion, tell you what colors are best on you, and help you accessorize. She's good for any style, too. Punk, cutsie, goth, clean cut, hippie, you name it! Also, she doesn't really like pizza that much and wishes they would just fix that issue in per programming already!

Roxy – Once you get her to warm up to you and allow you close enough to her she is the best kind of friend! She might have her own confidence issues, but she will hype you up and support you to no end! She is warm and gentle once you're close and will defend you against anyone that dares mess with you!

Monty – This dude is a sucker for kids movies. He really likes stuff like “Beauty and the Beast” because he can identify with the beast, and Tarzan because of the issues with people accepting him when he arrives in the band. He will gladly sit and watch any cartoon movie with you and laugh outright. Don't get him started on how many songs he knows from them!

Bonnie – He's a super sweet, snuggly, lovable, gentle guy with his loved ones... but an absolute beast to anyone he sees as a threat. Do not mess with this bunny or his family! Whether it comes in the form of a cold, verbal threat that leaves ice in the veins or an outright assault that will make the offender long for death, Bonnie is one with whom thou shalt not fuck!

Foxy – Despite all his adventurous films and stories, he is super chill. Like if there were a band pothead, oh yeah. He likes to sit and read adventure stories, all the classics, or just stay around his friends while they do whatever they do. If asked he's happy to join in some fun activity, but if you want to just sit and take a load off, might as well tuck yourself under his arm. (Not the one with the hook)

Sun – He's actually a very talented artist, but hides how good he is from the kids he looks after. When with the little ones he'll change up his style to match their skill level unless they ask him to do something because he is capable of doing it better. He loves drawing for his friends and will take nearly any SFW request. He also loves to receive art and doesn't care how bad you think it is!

Moon – He might have been made for nap time, but he actually does like to play, too. Hide and seek in the dark? Heck yes! A little dancing to music under a black light? You bet! He is also very level headed. He's a good listener and can help you logically through many problems and issues. If he can't help you that way, he's always good for a shoulder to cry on.

DJ – This poor dude loves physical contact. He wants to hug and snuggle, hold hands, or just be close to others in general. He is kinda jealous of the others because they can get away with all these things with little trouble. If allowed he will happily hold a friend in his hands, giving them gentle squishes as his own form of hugging. If you are very careful he will let you onto his head or back, though he will be wary and alert to you the entire time.

[goobiegoobert]

I know you're primarily a fnaf:sb blog,, but I was wondering if I could get some foxy nsfw hcs with a male reader? Although I love monty and roxy, He's always been my fav lol, thank you! <3

A siren's song.

____________________

A/n: Fun fact I'm not SB focused it's just what I get mainly requested, so I am kissing you Rn for the fact this is a much-needed tiny break from SB

NSFW post you know the drill! Warnings: Oral fixation, usage of sir, wax play, mentions of edging I think that's it,, [ m!reader, AMAB & AFAB language used ]

____________________

➤ Oh how you call out to him, it's such a simple concept but feels as if it's the devil's work from how easily you sway the captain into soundless temptation.

➤ You two are very up for switching out who has control in a specific situation!

➤ Oddly enough he rarely takes over as the dom simply obsessed with how you keep him drowning beneath you

➤ Dude is absolutely fucking whipped for you like??

➤ Out of every animatronic, it seems he just has the sweetest soft spot for you here, it's as if once you enter the room all troubles he must've had are now second to none

➤ ..Service top...

➤ Whenever Foxy does plan to top, it's all about peeling away the layers of a day's work right off your shoulders

➤ Loves for your hands to be in his mouth,, in general loves your fingers nicking the sharp teeth and if you get a cut he's sure to kiss it better!

➤ No matter what you call him sir or captain, like in both sides of being a switch it just makes the pirate simply swoon harder

➤ God he'd give anything just to hear you sing for a sinner of the seas

➤ is absolutely sure to map out what makes you feel good, like a shanty sung about a hidden treasure he makes sure to burn it within himself like second nature

➤ Downside is over the fact he's got a pretty low libido, so these times of heavenly bliss are far and few between if you don't speak up about it

➤ Absolutely adores seeing you shiver at the cool metal of his hook pressing against your clit/cock, it truly edges Foxy on to continue with you

➤ Ahem, I would like to say he defo has a cock ring for himself made out of gold and bejewelled. Might have your name engraved, might not.

➤ Despite your cries ringing above the waves, it truly will be a night to have the captain splayed before you unable to keep himself still for you

➤ Doesn't like bondage much, your hands pressing soft alluring touches is the one thing he truly cannot live without here

➤ Foxy will always be left whimpering and messy whenever you two rendezvous to the cove

➤ Always managed to overstimulate himself from the fact the pirate fox cannot help but please you until the waxing dawn

➤ You two have got complaints o' many from Freddy before, which have been light-heartedly shrugged off, much to the bear's dismay

➤ It might've been an accident, but at some point the candle-light illuminating the cove for you two one night had begun to tip over

➤ despite excruciatingly close to shooting off blanks for you, Foxy had grabbed the candle holding it above you simply because he rather not burn the place down because he was too concentrated on getting his dick wet

➤ So the wax spilled onto your stomach quickly cooling which lead to some rather enchanting noises pressing past your lips

➤ This literally awoke something deep within Foxy and has become regular even in everyday life just for your skint o at some point have wax dripping across it

➤ Man-whore behaviour and yknow we stan that

[simmonsized]

Oh my god!! That was just great and I loved every second of reading that. Had to reread the post a couple times because I was so excited by the notification. The connections between Bro and The Handmaid you made are phenomenal! That’s exactly why I’m obsessed with them interacting and honestly, Bro interacting with people is kinda funny to me. Bro is funny without trying.

Don’t worry about how much you talk, I’m very much into reading long posts! I’m asking because I just want to hear another persons point of view and reasoning. No need to hold back.

Mom and Bro… sigh, I love them a lot :(

Their interactions in The Run and Go either make me laugh or pity them. Either way, it’s great. Sometimes I like having fun with them and exchanging conversations about them with a mutual of mine. How much would you say Dirk & Roxy are in their dynamic?

Sorry for the delay, I went to bed early last night haha!

Honestly I have many things to say about Mom and Bro, all the time! They're just so fun! I like writing them in RNG (the run and go) specifically because I love the concept of dealing with After, of dealing with things that came before, but already happened, and can't be prevented, and the guardians just happen to fulfill that desire pretty much to a T!

Warning most of this is just like. Fun headcanon stuff so sorry!

For me, I like to imagine that Bro and Mom knew each other when they were "kids", because it's implied in [I'd rather not talk about Hussie's awful Skaianet lore but it just sits in the back of my mind] that Jake Harley was their benefactor/sponsor, so I always imagine that they grew up separately until they were somewhere between 10 and 13, and then the beta guardians kind of like. Collected them I guess, at least temporarily. They met, became friends, stayed in contact when they separated, and then (once again all fake headcanons) Bro started to become more like how he is now, and after 16 he kinda walked out of Nanna and Grandpa's lives, and Mom became Grandpa's protege (more implied about Hiveswap which isn't entirely canon but sometimes I think about it anyway) . I like to think they still called and maybe emailed (cringes in 90s communication format) and stuff, but Bro was preparing for Dave at this point, and Mom was preparing for Rose. They grew apart, things kept happening u know, as they do, and they just! Stopped talking. Probably mostly Bro's fault lol

Anyway so all that being said, since they are to a point Roxy and Dirk, I think that there maybe have been a time before Bro was cruel, when he was Dirk, was still just a kid who cared a lot about what his friends thought of him, who maybe was a little awkward and only had one fucking friend, in Mom. He's a weird dude, for sure, but Roxy (Mom) likes weird, and they're both very smart, and very funny. I think they would have something in common, in the way that they both had a predestiny, in the way that their lives were already being carved out for them before they even had the chance to decide for themselves (i already said this about bro but it does extend to mom too lol). Much like Roxy and Dirk were the only two people who knew what it was like in a future without humans, I imagine that Bro and Mom probably felt, to a point, that they were the only two people in the world who had the kind of raw fucking deal they were dealt. I imagine they were shitty to each other, in that playful way that two very sarcastic people can be, because I always imagine the guardians as being a little bit sharper around the edges than their kid counterparts, even at the same age.

I think a lot about the fact that aside from being Ectobiological creations, they were still kids, who still grew up in “our” world, who had a bunch of fucking like. Genuine life experience and interaction with the outside world. We often see the homestuck kids as isolated in their own little worlds, for a variety of reasons, but it’s more interesting to me, to think of the guardians as being more connected to the outside world, in part because of the mystery in their upbringing, and also just. 30+ years life on earth!

I don't think Bro is a good enough person to actually stop Mom from drinking, but I imagine it probably "annoyed" him in a way, u know Cal influence etc etc but I do think he'd tolerate her, if only out of a kind of weird obligation mixed with genuine affection he'd probably never admit to. I do think Mom genuinely loved him, and though I headcanon the guardians as always knowing they had an obligation, I think she probably would have been happier, if they had been able to stay together. I like to think of the guardians as the worst reflection of the kids' inner selves, Roxy's addiction, Dirk's tendency towards calculation and manipulation, but they are still people, and it never stops being interesting, the concept of reconnecting with someone who you loved, who you failed, who failed you. Yeah!

Some of my favorite things Dirk has ever said about Roxy, for context, which influences a lot of how I write Bro and Mom's relationship:

[bonesandthebees]

10, 17, 23, and 41 for the ask game!

10. How do you decide what to write?

well, I'm someone who always has a million ideas buzzing around in her head at once. if I'm actually going to sit down and write something, I gotta set some criteria to make sure it's something I actually want to take the time to write out. like if I'm trying to decide what my next longfic is going to be (ie: clinic, world forgetting, stars) the criteria I have is meant to help me figure out if this is a project I'll stick with for months on end. these criteria are: do i have an ending already in mind for it? do I have multiple scenes floating around my head that I know won't come till later in the story, but the excitement about eventually writing them will keep me going? do I think this is a concept others will enjoy reading? will this take at least 90-100k words to tell this story if not more? if the answer is yes to all of those, boom, I have a potential longfic

for shorter stuff my criteria is a little different. it's mostly just me asking myself if the story interests me enough to write the entire thing out or if it's just something I'd rather leave in the brain microwave lol

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

oh man this is just me staring at a list of movie aus i've never cared enough about to write but would love to read. give me an au of the 2009 movie push with chris evans it's such a dumb movie but the concept is so fun. you have this very done with life 20 something guy who tries to cheat at gambling with his psychic powers but he never practices them so he's shit. then you have a random 13-14 year old that just bursts into his life and can see the future so the kid is just like "alright we're working together on this i've already seen it and if you listen to me we'll get rich" and he's like who are you and why the fuck are you in my apartment. it's sooo crimeboys i want it so bad

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

answered this in more detail in the previous ask but soulmate au!!

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

I mean I love anything written by roxy, but their fic ritual purposes just hits me so hard in such a weird way?? not weird bad, it's just strange how much i connect with it for no specific reason? there's just so many little things about the writing that suck me in. like i think there's one line where phil rests a hand on tommy's back and the writing mentions that his shirt is warm from standing in the sun for so long and idk why that little detail just felt so insanely real to me. all the tiny domestic moments in it are filled with those types of details and it makes me go insane i love it so much. (the archaeology aspect is soooo cool too it's so fun to read about that stuff) anyway I'd love to be able to write like that, just with all those super small details that make it feel so much more real

ty for this!!! these were fun!

ask game!

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer

Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!

It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April

I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.  

This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back. 

So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from. 

So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.

So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim. 

I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!

So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out. 

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.

So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”

So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs. 

I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before. 

But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...

One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did. 

But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?

Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh. 

So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur​ pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling. 

But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get  a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought. 

Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)

This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still. 

So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming. 

But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit. 

So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that. 

Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up. 

For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug  and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way

At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now. 

So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast. 

Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of 

He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph. 

Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume. 

So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her

It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it. 

So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh. 

He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.

In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place.  While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles. 

But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again. 

The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason. 

So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends. 

We also get this exchange. 

I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of 

Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing. 

Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord. 

Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into  a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.

Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time. 

So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem. 

Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy. 

At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona. 

The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible. 

So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim. 

Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling. 

Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.  

Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable. 

So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.

But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed. 

Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it. 

So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now. 

We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her. 

Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you. 

He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...

Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head. 

And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...

Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...

Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!” 

She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love. 

I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....

So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her. 

Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.

One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...

 Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger. 

Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall. 

And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot

Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever. 

So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last. 

They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high. 

Final Thoughts:

Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding. 

There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do. 

But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes. 

And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa. 

Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright. 

All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through

Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad. 

Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow.