#original because you nearly fucking died as a child and got turned into a weird meat suit

[purpleuniform]

if you consider vanessa canonly DID then you should consider michael canonly DID too

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[from-seas-to-skies]

Farm Grown / Hawks x Reader ♕︎

uwu, I had the lovely @weirddpand4 draw this picture of cowboy Hawks for this work!!!

warnings: NSFW, spanking, cream pie

words: 4,802

-

“Oh, wow! Look at that! I’ve never seen grass so green before!” your friend, Urakaka Ochaco, exclaims.

Glancing up from your phone, you follow her line of vision; gracious hills of rich green grass stretch out far into the horizon, meeting with the brilliant shade of blue. It’s so unlike the skyscrapers and closely-knit houses you’re used to seeing. No, this is what pure beauty looks like, Mother Nature in one of her most wonderful forms. Although the fields are dotted with wildflowers and corn fields, you don’t miss the dirt road further up ahead, a large wooden sign planted next to it.

When Ochaco originally came to you with the idea of being a farmhand, you thought she was crazy. You’ve finally graduated from high school, got the title of professional hero, and this is the first thing she wanted to do? However, as she further explained, it was a family friend who needed help during the summer months, and what were heroes for? Granted, you wanted to run around the cement jungle and provide help that way, but this “almost vacation” didn’t sound too bad – plus, with the puppy eyes Ochaco flashed at you, it was impossible to say no.

And so, here you are, sitting in the passenger side of a coupe with Ochaco behind the wheel. You have to admit; the surrounding atmosphere is beautiful, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to run barefoot through the grass. Clouds of dust rise as the car eventually comes to a stop outside of a weathered farmhouse. Ochako flashes you a smile, her large eyes twinkling.

“Look at how huge this place is! I know Uncle Iroh said he had a couple people helping out, but this is incredible! We’ll each have our own room!”

You can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. Ochaco’s always been easy to rile up, and the fact that she’s genuinely excited to spend quality “bonding time” with you is heartwarming. As the two of you step out of the car, the front door to the farmhouse opens, revealing an elderly man with a long beard and a kind expression. His face cracks into a smile when he and Ochaco make eye contact; the two hurry towards each other, warm greetings and bone-crushing hugs being shared between the two. It’s no wonder Ochaco was so excited to spend the summer here; with a relationship like that, you’d be happy to see the man too.

“Oh, come, come!” Iroh says, hurrying around the car and popping the trunk open. “You must be Ochaco’s friend, yes?” he asks, looking towards you. A wave of pleasant warmth washes over your being as he sends you that charming smile. “I appreciate the help! I only have my nephew and another man working here already, but the extra hands will come in handy.” He pauses then to chuckle at his own joke. “But I think it’s about you two get settled, yeah?”

“Right!” you respond, pulling out your own suitcase.

As you walk up towards the wraparound porch, you glance to the other trucks sitting out in front of the farmhouse. Iroh said two others were already here, so you figured the trucks must be theirs…

“Zuko!” Iroh booms. “Our guests are here!”

After a moment or so, a boy around your age staggers from the kitchen, a tray in his hands. From the looks of it, a teapot and some cups line its surface.

“Tea is our specialty, here,” Iroh says, nudging you with your shoulder. “Get something to drink and then we’ll show you your rooms.”

-

Later on that evening, you’re gazing out your window, watching the sun fall. Hues of orange, peach, and lilac paint the sky, bidding the world goodbye for the night. It’s definitely different to experience it here than back home, back where silhouettes were outlined by the golden glow. A steady breeze carries on, carrying the scent of wildflowers and musk; your curtains flap from the sheer force of it, but you pay it no mind. It’s like Ochaco brought you to a slice of paradise, even if it’s with the intention of putting in labor.

In the distance, you hear calls and the distinguished moos of cows. Shifting your gaze, you catch a herd of cows being moved towards a barn; a man riding a brown horse wrangles them in, a border collie by his side. The way he pulls it off is smooth, and it’s clear that he’s used to pulling such a feat. However, what really catches your attention is the pair of magnificent scarlet wings protruding from his back. Now, you’re used to seeing some rather flashy quirks, but this guy’s is just… Wow.

“Hey, Uncle Iroh wanted me to come get you,” Ochaco’s voice says suddenly. Turning around, you see her standing in the doorway, a pleasant expression playing on her face. “We’re having oyakodon for dinner! Doesn’t a hot meal sound delicious?” And, as if to amp up your spirits, Ochaco licks her lips and pats her tummy. “I’m so hungry from a long drive!”

You huff in amusement. “Yeah, I am too.” Turning around, you catch a glimpse of the cows disappearing into the barn, that mysterious cowboy stationed by the doors. “Hey, Ochaco,” you start before realizing it, “but who’s that other guy that lives here? The one with the wings?”

Walking over to where you stand, Ochaco peers out the window, following your line of sight. “Oh, him? That’s Keigo. Uncle Iroh says he’s only been here for the past year or so, but he’s really good at what he does! I heard all the animals like him a lot – maybe it’s because of the wings?”

“Don’t you think it’s… odd that’s only a farmhand? With a quirk like that, you’d think he’d be doing something else.”

Ochaco shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe you should ask him sometime? Oh, but I’m really hungry! Can we go eat, now?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just got distracted…”

And so, you soon find yourself sitting at a sturdy wooden table, a bowl of oyakodon sitting before you. It smells utterly delicious - and paired with the tea Iroh brewed, you know you’re in for a treat. Just then, you hear a door opening and closing; there’s a chatter of some sorts, but then there he is, right there in the flesh.

Strong build, wide shoulders, blond hair that looks permanently tousled, and oh yes, those magnificent wings. Perhaps you shouldn’t be staring so much, but the sharp line of his jaw and intense eyes make it nearly impossible to look away. You’ve heard of such things, read about them in stories, but maybe, just maybe, you might’ve fallen for the guy at first sight. That, or he’s just too damn attractive for his own good.

“Howdy! Oh, shit, who are these two cuties?”

Or maybe not.

“Oi! Keigo! Can’t you be respectful for once in your life?” Iroh barks, popping around the other. He scowls as he slaps a wing out of his way. “Make a good impression for yourself. These two are going to be here for the rest of the summer, so don’t be an ass.”

“C’mon, gramps,” Keigo drawls, “you know I’m better than that. Plus, if they don’t like my attitude, then it’s not really my fault, huh?”

“Nothing ever changes,” Zuko says lowly, his words followed by a deep sigh.

You and Ochaco share a look. It seems like your Prince Charming is nothing more than a sarcastic asshat. How befitting.

“Liven up, birdies,” Keigo says, sliding into the chair directly across from you. “I don’t bite.” He winks at you. “Yet.”

Your entire body jolts at his proclamation. This guy really is shameless, isn’t he? Still, you can’t help but feel undeniably attracted to him. Curse his charisma, dammit.

“Aw, sweet! Is this oyakodon? Hell yeah.”

To the side, Zuko facepalms. Iroh merely chuckles and shakes his head, much like he’s way too used to this kind of behavior and has accepted it as it is. Hell, even Ochako cracks a smile. You, on the other hand, stare at Keigo in confusion. He has a bird-based quirk, doesn’t he? Does it not bother him to not eat chicken…?

Keigo puts up a hand, an amused glint in his eyes. “Look, I already know what you’re gonna ask, kid. I can practically see the gears spinning in that pretty head of yours. I fucking love chicken.”

Oh… Well, that takes care of that, doesn’t it…

-

After that first fateful encounter, you’ve grown used to Keigo’s ways. It’s funny, though, how he and Zuko’s personalities basically sit on either end of the spectrum, yet Iroh treats the both of them like they’re his children. While Zuko is serious and straight-laced, Keigo is more of a chatty free spirit. That said, you’ve also gotten used to Keigo’s flirty side. You suspect it’s because he likes to get a rise out of everyone. Whether that’s the case or not, your eyes often wander after him, stare down the hard lines of his back. Even better, you itch to trail your lips over the scruff lining his jaw. The guy’s too damn hot and he knows it.

Over the past month, a game of cat and mouse has started between the two of you. Him, trying to act all chummy and overstepping numerous boundaries. You, trying not to give into the weird relationship that’s bloomed between you and him. Sure, you might have flirted back, but what were you supposed to do? After all, Keigo’s proved himself to be a rather cool guy.

“You can’t keep spacing out like that, kid,” Keigo says, snapping you from your thoughts. Glancing down at him, you attempt to suppress your embarrassment, but Keigo’s too smart for that. Despite his relaxed attitude, he’s surprisingly intelligent and quite observant.

Hands tightening around the saddle, you scoff. “I wasn’t spacing out…���

Keigo cocks an eyebrow. “You know, if I wasn’t holding onto the reins, Nugget would’ve bucked you off a long time ago.”

This time, you snicker. You know that he has an undying love for chicken, but every time he refers to his horse as Nugget, you can’t help but laugh. This guy really is like a child.

“Pffft. Laugh all you want, birdie. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to ride.” Narrowing his eyes, he flashes you a sultry look. “If you want, I can show you.”

All laughter dies on your tongue. A spark of heat erupts in your stomach, makes your heart thump against your ribcage. He always manages to fluster you, to plant naughty little thoughts into your head. You swallow thickly. “I think… I think I’ll stick with Nugget for now.”

At that, Keigo shrugs, his expression turning into something more nonchalant. “Suit yourself. Seriously, though; you should always keep your focus while riding a horse. Anything can happen, and you’ll only know you’re fucked until you’re being crushed. Better yet, you’re flying overhead and end up snapping your neck. Hate to break it to you, but you don’t have wings to break your fall.”

“Keigo.”

He looks back up at you. “What?”

“Your wings. It’s just that… Well… Why help out on farm?”

Keigo blinks at you, no words slipping out. “Hah? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Shit,” you say quickly, mentally cursing yourself out, “that’s not what I meant. You can fly, can’t you? It just seems like you could’ve made a name for yourself…”

“And become a hero, right?” You wince at his words. He hit the nail right on the head. “Heh. Yeah, I guess you’re right. I could spew a whole bunch of shit from my mouth and call it a day, but that’s not my style. I’m a hero in my own right.”

You furrow your brows. Remaining silent, you wait for him to carry on.

Keigo sighs at your implication. “Not all heroes wear capes or whatever. What about cops? Firefighters? Nurses? People who help put food on your table and help that old man out? Just because I’m not stopping some robbery doesn’t mean I’m not important.”

His words come as a slap to the face. He has a good point; actually, scratch that. He has a fantastic fucking point.

“I’m sorry,” you say after a moment’s silence. “That was selfish of me.”

Keigo waves a dismissive hand. “Don’t beat yourself up, kid. Nugget gets nervous if you get into a bad mood.”

Absentmindedly, your hand drops onto the horse’s neck, giving it a couple of reassuring strokes. “He’s a beautiful horse.”

“Yeah – well, until I bathe him. Getting up close and personal to horse cock isn’t fun. A bit degrading, actually.”

Slapping a hand over your mouth, you try to muffle your sudden laughter. Air streams through the cracks of your fingers.

Instead of his usual smirk, Keigo flashes you a genuine smile. You’ve only seen it once or twice before, but it never fails to make your heart stop. His whole face scrunches, his pearly teeth a startling white compared to his sun-kissed skin. Okay, so maybe you’ve fallen in love with this guy. It’s no big deal; you’re only here for the summer, so there’s no point in chasing after something you can’t have.

“What, did ya find that funny? I’m here all week, folks.”

“You saying you’re a standup comedian now?” you shoot back. “I didn’t know they accepted clowns on farms.”

“Ohoho, so you do got a mouth. Where’s that been all this time, huh? Would’ve made things a lot more fun.” Reaching up, he knocks his cowboy hat further back, revealing more strands of sandy hair and bronzed skin. “Listen here, partner. This town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

“Oh my god,” you say with a snort. “You’re such a dork.”

Keigo snickers. “You know you love me.”

Heh. Yeah…

If only he knew.

-

Maybe you should’ve taken his words more into consideration.

Your instincts are more attuned to what could happen in battle, not for words. Besides, Keigo is a sneaky bastard. Most of the things that spew from his mouth are innuendos and pure sarcasm. He doesn’t really come off as a genuine type of person.

It’s whatever. You don’t like to read into things too much, and maybe that’s your fault, maybe it’s not. Who knows?

Even so, your eyes continuously drift over to where he stands. He busies himself with hanging Nugget’s saddle and harness away, his body lax. If one’s thing for sure, he definitely seems a lot more comfortable around animals rather than actual human beings. You can’t blame him, but what about you? Is he comfortable around you?

Clearing your throat, you turn back to the task at hand. Brushing Nugget down, you trail your hand over the coarse hair, the hard muscle. You meant it when you said he’s beautiful. Shiny brown coat, straw colored hair – he seems like the perfect match for Keigo.

“Cowboy Keigo,” you mutter. “Tell me, Nugget,” you begin, “does Keigo treat you right? Feeds you apples and lumps of sugar? A pretty horse like you deserves to be spoiled.” At the mention of his master’s name, Nugget whinnies. “Is that a yes? You’re avoiding the question, man.”

“Are you seriously trying to sweettalk my horse?” Keigo pipes up. Stepping over the stall, he hoists himself up onto the gate and straddles the wood. Wings sweeping behind him, he flashes you a peculiar look. “Didn’t they teach you in school that you shouldn’t seduce a horse? I don’t know about you, kid, but bestiality isn’t smiled upon around here.”

“Then what does that say about you, bird boy?” you quip. “Surely you don’t put yourself in that category?”

“Ooo, degradation. How did you know that was one of my kinks? Were you looking through my search history?”

Rolling your eyes, you set the brush to the side and join him at the gate. Climbing up, you mimic his movements and straddle the wooden beam. “Kinky cowboy, huh? Kind of has a nice ring to it.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve got the bedazzled white boots and everything. I mean, I’m already wearing the assless chaps and everything.”

“You sound more like a stripper rather than a farmhand. What do you think, Nugget?” you ask, turning towards the horse. Nugget merely snorts and shakes his head.

“Hey, hey, don’t agree,” Keigo tells him. “I’ve got to keep my secret life a secret, you damned horse. Help a guy out.”

“I guess your partner would rather throw you under the bus,” you say with a chuckle. “Good horse.”

“Now you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.”

“Cry me a river, bird boy. Or do I have to kiss your booboos?”

At that, Keigo falls quiet. The look in his eyes is unreadable, but the way his body tensed tells you something else entirely. Abruptly, he swings his leg over the gate and hops back down onto the ground. Aw, shit. Did you take it too far? It was only lighthearted flirting and yanking on his leg-

“C’mere,” Keigo says, offering you his hand. His voice is a lot more… soft.

With little to no hesitation, you take hold of his hand and get off the gate. You’re about to ask him what he wants, but then he’s abruptly pulling you to the side, further away from the stable’s open doors. Birds are singing outside, their sweet melody carrying along with the sweet summer breeze. It almost seems like an entire world away. A grunt escapes your lips as you’re shoved against the wall, the smell of straw and musk filling your senses. Keigo steps in close, the heat radiating off his body sending shivers down your spine.

“Listen here, pretty little birdie,” he drawls, his lips pulling back in a smirk, “but I may just have to take you up on that offer.”

Wait, what?

“What the hell, Keigo? Where is this coming from?” you question. It’s not like you’re against him being so damn close, it’s just… unexpected.

“Oh, right, like I’m supposed to pretend that you don’t gawk at me at any chance you get. You’re not very subtle, you know.”

Embarrassment heats up your insides, crawls up your neck. So this bastard is really going to rub it in your face, huh? Seems just like him.

“Then why didn’t you say anything about it before?” you hiss. “If it’s such a problem, don’t stay silent. You’re not the type to let things like that slide.”

“Who said it was problem?”

Keigo: 1 / you: 0

Spluttering, you try to gain control of your whirling emotions. This is not how you were expecting this conversation to go. Actually, you weren’t expecting this conversation at all!

“I know for a fact that you can’t get enough of me,” Keigo continues. “And if I’m being completely honest, I like it. You look so cute when you stare after me, birdie. Then you have the audacity to pretend like nothing happened whenever I catch you.”

“Is that what this is all about?” you huff. “Okay, fine. I admit it. Maybe I watch what you’re doing more than what’s necessary. It’s not my fault you walk around all the time without a shirt on or anything…”

“Normally, I’d say because it’s because I get hot when I’m working, but knowing that you were watching made it all the better.” He winks at you. “Gotta hand out a treat here and there, you know?”

“You really are a clown!” you squeak. Keigo laughs as you weakly shove at his chest. “You’ve been leading me on this entire time? What am I, a joke?”

“Hey now, don’t get ahead of yourself, kid. It’s not my fault you couldn’t come up to me like a civilized adult.”

Okay, now you’re fuming. “Keigo, you fucking idiot-“

Swooping in, Keigo cuts you off with a kiss. Unsurprisingly, his lips are soft; he tastes like citrus and salt, and before you know it, you’re looping your arms around his neck, knocking his hat off in the process. A huff of laughter fans across your lips as Keigo pulls back, his mouth hovering over yours. “Shit, I’ve been wanting to do that ever since your pretty ass sat at the kitchen table for the first time.”

You sigh. “You really do have a bird brain…”

You kiss him, again and again. Perhaps you should be ashamed that you have your tongue shoved down somebody’s throat rather than working, but there’s no way you’re stopping now. Like him, you’ve been waiting for this moment. The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other, rolling the tension back and forth like a goddamn snowball.

But fuck if it doesn’t feel good.

His hands aren’t shy, not in the slightest. Fingertips map out the ridges and dips of your body, seek out the spots that really make you tick. You bite back a giggle as he drops his mouth down your neck, the scruff covering his jawline tickling your skin. Your own hands trail over his body, tracing over the hard lines of muscle that hide beneath his clothes. Time and time again, whenever you’d see him without a shirt, you wanted nothing more than to run your hands all over him. This is your chance, now, and you’d be damned if you didn’t take it.

“Shit, shit, shit, not the wings,” Keigo pants into your neck. The scarlet feathers feel like silk beneath your fingertips; skimming over them, you follow their shape, feel how they get fluffier the closer they are to his shoulders. “Oh, fuck. You know just what you’re doing, huh, birdie? Playing around with me like that. Two can play at that game.”

Another grunt slips from your lips as he pushes you against the wall, harder this time. His hands shamelessly drift underneath your shirt, warm palms sliding over your skin. Your shirt comes off before you know it, being unceremoniously thrown to the ground.

“Fuck, birdie, aren’t a pretty one,” Keigo purrs, his nose bumping against your throat as he sucks another mark into your flesh. “I bet you’re real pretty down here, too…” Making quick work of your jeans, he easily slips them down your legs and you eagerly step out of them. “Don’t mind if I do, kid,” he murmurs into your ear before nipping at the lobe.

A weak moan breaks from your throat as a hand slips into your underwear and cups your sex. His hand is just so warm, and the roughness of his callouses causes your head to spin. Within no time, wet, sinful noises sound from between your legs, mixing with your heavy breaths and Keigo’s encouraging words.

“Yeah, you like that, birdie? My fingers feel good, huh? Wait until you get a feel of my cock.”

Spurred on by his words, you hastily unbutton his shirt, pushing the fabric to the side and running your hands over the swell of his pectorals, the ridges of his abdomen. A faint dusting of blond hairs covers his chest and arms; and, if you look close enough, more sticks out from the waistband of his jeans. Keigo hums as you continue to feel him up, his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek.

“Like what you see? I bet you’ve been wanting to do this for a long time… Fuck! Not going to go easy on me, huh? I like someone who can bite back.”

“Has anybody ever told you that you talk too much?” you breathe. Fingers wrapped around his cock, your movements catch up to his in speed. “You should consider yourself lucky that I like your voice.”

“Oohoohoo, feisty. That mouth of yours is saying a lot of mean things today, isn’t it? Guess I’ll have to put you in your place.” He pauses, swipes his tongue over his bottom lip. “But, if I’m being entirely too honest, I don’t think I have the patience for that.”

“Keigo,” you pant, “I swear to Christ if you don’t fuck me right now-“

“On it, on it. Don’t get your panties in a twist, your majesty.” In hurried movements, he strips you of your underwear and shucks his chaps and jeans down. Large hands grip onto your thighs and then you’re being hoisted up, sandwiched between his rigid body and the wall. “Why, won’t you feel that,” he purrs, “I’d say it’s high noon.”

“Don’t talk about your dick like that, you dork,” you scoff. “Oh, fuck.” Another pleasured noise slips through your lips as you grind down against him, his cock just barely teasing your hole.

“What was that, birdie? You know what they say – sweetie on the farm, a freak in the barn.”

“You’re anything but sweet. Just – Keigo, please?”

“Alright, I get it, enough teasing.” Adjusting his hold on you, he flashes you a tiny smile. “Hold on, partner.”

A choked groan breaks free from your throat as his cock slides in, your velvety walls sucking him in greedily. That damned smirk of his stays on his face the entire time he fucks you, along with that devious glint in his eyes. His façade only cracks after you start stroking his wings and squeeze around his cock; if he wants to act like a cocky son of a bitch, then so can you.

“Shit, you’re fucking tight,” he pants. The smack of skin against skin fills your ears, right alongside Keigo’s breathy moans and muttered words. “Keep squeezing like that, birdie, and you’re gonna make me cum quicker than I want to.”

“You almost sound like that’s exactly what you want me to do,” you breathe. “A cowboy like you has got to have some stamina, right? Don’t tell me all of that work goes to nothing.”

“Jesus, and you called me talkative. Fuck, I can’t wait to shove my cock down your throat and shut you the hell up – I said don’t squeeze like that, holy hell. Dirty little head you got there, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up,” you mumble, yanking him back into a kiss. Keigo only moans loudly as you continue to play with his wings, quickly finding out that the spot where they protrude from his flesh is the most sensitive.

“Milk my cock, birdie,” he mutters between broken kisses. “You’re so fucking good to me, oh yeah. I should’ve done this weeks ago.” A startled squeak bursts from your throat as he abruptly strikes your ass. Sucking air through his teeth, he does it again, relishing in the desperate noises spilling from your mouth. “That’s right, birdie. Come on, make me cum. I’m gonna cum so fucking hard for you, fill you up until your belly’s bloated.”

“Keigo-“  You moan as his hand drops down, fingers furiously rubbing at your sex.

“That’s right, say my name. Let the whole fucking world know who’s fucking you this good.”

“Keigo-“

Smack.

“KEIGO!”

The knot building up inside you snaps; with a cry, you cling even closer to him, your velvety walls spasming around his thick cock as you cum.

Slamming a hand against the wall, Keigo fucks into you harder, faster, the wet noises sounding from between your legs almost deafening. “Oh fuck yeah, oh fuck yeah, oh fuck, fuck, fuck – ah- ah- ugghnn…” Burying his face in your neck, his hips erratically jerk as warmth fills your insides. “Still… cumming… fuccckkk…”

Your eyes flutter as he shallowly thrusts into you, the sinful squelch of his cum leaking out around his cock filling your ears. Slowly, he comes to a stop, his hot breath fanning over your neck and the side of your face. Gingerly, you let him go, completely unaware that your fingernails had dug into him in the first place.

“Well,” he starts, lifting his head and flicking away sweaty strands of hair, “that was eventful, wasn’t it?”

You scoff. “Tell me why I like you again…?”

“Oh, darling,” he drawls, leaning in and pecking the corner of your mouth. “I don’t think you like me. I think you love me. You aren’t very subtle.” He laughs as you smack him on the chest.

“Okay, fine. You’re lucky I love you, bird brain. Don’t go rubbing it in.”

“Silly birdie,” Keigo hums, his face scrunching into that wonderful smile of his. “I may just love you too.”

Wait, seriously?

“And no, I’m not joking or being an ass,” he continues, as if reading your mind. “What’s it called? Love at first sight? I dunno, seems like cheesy bullshit to me, but I… I like the appeal of it. It sounds nice when you’re involved.”

Your heart thumps against your chest.

Oh, fuck.

[ecto-american]

The Other Side

Phic Phight Oneshot for Kiinotasha and KC: (AU) Born a halfa and raised in the Ghost Zone by his mother, Danny struggles with his human identity when a permanent man made portal appears in the Ghost Zone.

On AO3 and FFN

-------------------

Danny never questioned his life until that man made portal spawned. He never forgot when he first saw it six years ago while playing with Youngblood.

Naturally, they were playing aliens and spacemen, Danny's favorite. Earlier in the play session, they had found it, and it was deemed part of their spaceship. It was just a metal outline, an octagon. Thick enough that they could sit, and they pretended that the limited space was the entrance. Obviously on the left side was space, and the right side was their ship. Eventually their moms called them home, and during dinner when asked about his day, he told his mom about it.

She frowned, and she asked him for more details. Having played on it all day, he described it perfectly. His mom paled, and she forbid him from going there again, but she didn't expand on why.

He saw no reason to be afraid. It was just a metal shape. There were far more dangerous places in the Ghost Zone. So the next day, he told Youngblood about his mom's weird reaction. His mom had reacted the same, but didn't say why. His dad explained that it was dangerous, but not what about it was dangerous. Danny didn't have a dad, but he was sure that if he did, he probably would have said the same thing. But neither child could get it. What was dangerous about a shape?

So they just played with it again the next day, and they lied to their moms about what they did.

Two years later, another ghost had join to make them a trio. Her name was Box Lunch, and she was honestly a lot of fun. But she was still a girl, and they didn't tell her about their secret fun location until they were sure she didn't have cooties. When they showed her, she instantly knew what it was.

"That's a ghost portal!" she exclaimed. Youngblood and Danny thought she was stupid. Ghost portals didn't stay anywhere permanently. They opened and closed at random, when the human world and Ghost Zone would temporarily merge and allow for a rip to tear. But it always mended back together quickly.

"No it's not," Youngblood scowled. Box Lunch made a face at him.

"Yeah-huh!" she insisted. "My mommy and daddy get into the human world all the time! She said some people there have been trying to make a permanent portal to here!"

"Nu-uh!" Youngblood argued. "My dad said that humans wouldn't do that, they're more afraid of us than we are of them!"

"Yeah-huh!" Box Lunch said more forcefully. "My parents were human once, they said that people constantly wanna hunt us in the human world! And that they're coming here!"

"If they're afraid of us, then why come here?" Youngblood challenged.

"What else would it be?" Box Lunch asked, crossing her arms.

"It's a weirdo ghost's lair!"

And as they bickered back and forth, Danny had remained quiet. He didn't know how to feel about any of this. His friends often forgot that Danny wasn't just a ghost. He was also human.

Not that he was a ghost who was once human, that died. He was both, and he always had been. Born that way, according to his mom, because his dad was human. Danny didn't know too much about him, and he never really thought to ask.

He knew that his name was Jack, and how he looked like. His mom had hung a photo of him in his room so that he'd know; blue eyes, black hair, with a square jaw and in a distinctive orange jumpsuit. The orange suit always reminded him of the blue one his mom wore underneath a lab coat. She said he looked just like his dad when he was in his human form, and he could absolutely see it. Though as a ghost he had white hair that he seemingly inherited from nobody, with his mom's light blue skin and yellow-green eyes. As a ghost, he matched with a black jumpsuit, though as a human, he preferred regular clothes.

Most ghosts had learned of Danny's true nature early on as the news slowly spread when he was born. They loved him and accepted him as one of them. He could go out into the Zone as a human, but it always felt weird. So he was always a ghost.

That night, as he got tucked in for bed, he decided to bring the metallic object up again.

"Box Lunch said that the big metal shape is a permanent ghost portal," he blurted out. His mom stared at him with wide yellow eyes, and so he knew that Box Lunch was actually right. "Is it?"

She sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I believe so," she confirmed. Danny sat up.

"Is that why you don't want me going near it?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. Danny cocked his head curiously.

"But if I'm also human, wouldn't they be okay with me?" he wondered. His mom paused for a long, long time. "I'm also one of them."

"I don't know, honey," she admitted. He could tell that she did know. She kissed his forehead. "I'll talk to you about it when you're a little bit older, okay?"

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now good night, sweetie."

It was four more years before it really became relevant again. He had essentially forgotten about the unoperational portal as homeschooling, other friends, and general undead life had continued on for him and his mom.

Youngblood didn't age, since he was once human and died, and so as Danny got older, they hung out less. While Box Lunch, a born ghost, grew, he became distant from her too for unrelated reasons. Danny wasn't alone, however. For a while, he hung out with other ghosts who had died young before he met his best friend. He was a bit older than him when he had died, sixteen to his fourteen, but Johnny 13 (and his shadow) and him had almost instantly become friends and hung out nearly every day. Often his girlfriend joined them too. His mom also allowed him to keep a newly dead dog that had followed him home, that alternated from a puppy to a large hulking beast of a monster dog. Danny named him Cujo.

Ghost Writer provided lessons in the arts on Tuesdays and Thursdays for him and a few other younger ghosts, which did include Johnny and Kitty. On the other days, his mom homeschooled him in her passion: the sciences. His favorite memories were of him and his mother in her lab, doing home experiments and building a wide variety of things.

She indulged in whatever nonsense he wanted to build, which included but wasn't limited to: rock cannon, small spaceships, figuring out how they could grow potatoes on the moon like the man in the martian book did, using ecto energy to cook poptarts.

Often her friend, Technus, but better known to Danny as Uncle Nico, came by to do more of the tech-based stuff. Danny believed that Uncle Nico could do anything with technology. He was one of the ghosts that often went through the natural portals, and whenever he came back, he had something for Danny. Typically game consoles and games, but sometimes fun little useless knick knacks that Danny treasured deeply. He fixed those game consoles many times, and also showed him how to download and install cheats and mods to make them more fun.

And after a morning full of science or the arts, Danny would eat lunch then rush off to play with his friends, Cujo always on his heels.

Looking back, he never did much as a human. He had to resort to his human side to rest, or would default to it if he fell asleep. It felt weird being in human form amongst ghosts, and so he was just always a ghost. He never thought much about it, and nobody ever asked him to be a human around them. It was just how things were.

On the day he'd never forget, it was just him and Johnny. His girlfriend had opted not to come. Danny couldn't remember the original topic, but it made him remember the portal. As soon as he told Johnny about it, the two idly scratching Cujo as the dog slept in between them in puppy form, the ghost's eyes lit up excitedly.

"Dude! We have to check it out!" Johnny insisted.

"I dunno," Danny hesitated. "My mom said that I should stay away."

"Come on, it'll be sick! I've always wanted to go back to the human world," Johnny begged. "And you've never even been there, despite being half-human!"

Danny paused. Well, when you put it like that...

"Okay!" he agreed. He floated up from his seat a bit so he could untangle his legs to stand. Cujo immediately got up from his spot laying near them, tail wagging excitedly. "Let's go! I think I still know where it is!"

It had changed since he last saw it. It now had huge yellow and black doors in place of the previous blank space, and it seemed somehow bigger than he remembered it years ago. But it was unmistakably the man made portal.

Even now, he didn't get what would be too scary about it that his mom would encourage him to stay far away. It was just a door.

"This is so fucking cool," Johnny whispered as he touched the door. "Imagine...no more trying to hunt down a portal. We can just come and go as we please...seeing our lost loved ones...seeing my mom again…It's been so long...I dunno if she'd even remember me..."

Danny didn't say anything, but he did begin to think and truly wonder for the first time what his dad was like. His mom never talked about him, and he never really asked. He and his mom were happy, and he also had Uncle Nico. Was his dad kind? Did he also like science? Why wasn't he here? Did his dad even know about him?

"Do you think we can open it?" Danny asked. Cujo licked his fingers, and Danny scratched his head. Johnny glanced over his shoulder at him.

"I dunno," he admitted. His hand turned into a fist and he knocked on the door. "It seems really solid. I don't think we can just break it or something."

"Hm. Lemme see," Danny mused. He came closer, and he put his hand on the door. It was cold, and Johnny was right; it was metallic, just like the outer edge he used to play on, and it would not break easily. His finger traced the middle line of the two doors. "Hm. Maybe we can pry the door open."

"The humans made this," Johnny spoke. Danny stared at him. No shit. "No, no, I mean. Maybe you should do something to it as a human." Danny thought on this, and he shrugged. Couldn't hurt.

His transformation rings came and went, leaving him in his human state. He was just in a t-shirt and jeans today, and he stayed floating near the portal.

His hand had barely touched the portal when it opened for him.

Danny gasped in shock, jerking his hand back as it opened. Johnny had also jumped, going backwards a bit, and Cujo's fur went up as he barked. It fully opened, and he couldn't see anything but the green ooze. This wasn't anything like Uncle Nico had mentioned natural portals being like. They normally acted like a window you could see through. But it was an unnatural portal made by man.

"Maybe this isn't such a-" Johnny began, but Danny had already stepped through.

There was a weird in between area that shined bright blue that he never heard Uncle Nico describe. But in this in between, he could see exactly what the ghost had mentioned. He knew he was still in the Zone, but he could look out the portal into the human world like a window.

A man in an orange jumpsuit, with black hair that was graying, was sitting in a room that reminded him very much of his mom's lab. He was staring at the portal in confusion, likely because it had randomly opened, and Danny instantly knew who it was. He had no idea if his dad could see him, but he found himself rushing backwards, and back into the Zone.

The second he returned, he became a ghost again, and he silently began to fly away as he tried to process. Johnny asked no questions, only following, Cujo following them both.

That night, at dinner, he finally asked.

"What was dad like?"

His mom stared at him for a moment.

"Well, he was very sweet," she said slowly. "Very bubbly personality. Always went out of his way to help his friends." She smiled softly as she talked about him. "Adored fudge."

"Did he like science?" Danny wondered. His mom gave a short laugh.

"Oh boy he adored it. Not the best at it, but he had a lot of enthusiasm," he replied. "We used to do experiments together all the time."

Danny stared down at his food as he thought. He looked up to her, and he could tell that she already knew what he was going to ask.

"How come I never met him?" he wondered. She sighed.

"...He doesn't like ghosts," she replied. "Aspiring ghost hunter when I met him, actually. I was alive then. Had the same ambitions." At his shocked look, she laughed again. "I know, ironic. We had dated for about two years officially. But then...I died. It was winter, and I was driving late at night during a snowstorm. My car slid off the road, and into a river. And I died from my injuries. I found that I could disguise myself as human, and I was in denial. So I just...continued on."

"...Why?" he asked. His mom shrugged in defeat.

"I guess I just didn't want to admit that it was over. I hadn't done everything I wanted to do yet. I was still in college, and I felt like my life had been forcibly finished before it had even truly started," she admitted. "Jack had proposed, but I had declined. I was too afraid to tell him. He began pursuing ghost hunting more seriously as a profession and building weapons and portals. I found out I was having you, and he was so excited to be a dad. I began getting scared. I didn't know how long I could continue the lie. I didn't know how it all would affect you. Then the police found my car and body, and I knew I couldn't avoid the inevitable any longer. So I left. I had no clue how to face him, or even how safe you might be if we talked. Especially after you were born, and I realized that you were half ghost."

The more she talked, she more somber she became. By the end, she was sniffling a little. Guilt began to wash over him.

"Have you ever talked to him again? Like after I was born?" he wondered. She shook her head no. "How come you've never taken me to the human world?"

"I had considered it. But it's too dangerous," she explained. "Humans aren't like ghosts. If they knew that you were also ghost...you wouldn't wanna find out what happens."

"...Do you regret any of it?" Do you regret me?

She smiled softly despite the conversation.

"You were the best thing to ever happen to me," she told him. "I may have been very anxious about being alone, and how you may turn out despite it all. But you were born healthy and perfect in every way. You're absolutely the light of my afterlife."

Danny smiled back, feeling some reassurance. His mom stood up, leaning over to peck his forehead before picking up her plate. He heard Cujo scramble out from under the table, ears up in excitement.

"I think I'll finish this later," she told him. "I'm not too hungry tonight." She glanced down at the dog. "This isn't for you."

Cujo whined, following her as she put her plate in the microwave. Danny nodded, sparing a small smile to Cujo and ushering for him to come over. He slipped him a piece of chicken as his mom left.

Later that night, Danny couldn't sleep. He was too busy sorting out his rushing thoughts. He was of course still him. Nothing really changed, but there was this new growing emptiness. Danny was still Danny, but there was a whole other side to him that knew nothing about. It began to eat at him more and more. Who was this human side besides just human Danny who lived in the Ghost Zone? He didn't know.

He now wished that his mom had taken him to the human world before so that he could know. She did say that there was a risk in the humans knowing he was also a ghost, which he didn't get. The ghosts accepted him as one of their own, so why wouldn't the humans? He didn't get humans at all. And he needed to know more about them. He was one of them.

By breakfast, his mind was made up.

After an unusually boring lesson with Ghost Writer together, Danny immediately went to Johnny once their small class of sorts were dismissed.

"I have to go back." Danny couldn't breath for a moment. "I have to see what it's like. Like you said, I'm also human, and I've never been there. All my unlife, I've been a ghost, here, in the Ghost Zone. My dad's in the human world. And I need to know what it's like to be human. What it means. So I can maybe meet him one day."

Johnny nodded.

"I think I get it," he said slowly. "I'll come with you. Keep you company. I think I could pass for human pretty well, even if I have to say that I have some kind of sickly disease that keeps me pale."

Danny grinned.

"Thanks," he replied. "Come on."

It took no time at all to find the portal. Danny stared up at it, his breath once more stolen as he tried to think of a reason why he shouldn't go through it.

Nothing came to mind.

"It's okay if you don't wanna," Johnny said. Danny shook his head no.

"I have to do this," he replied. "I need to do this."

Johnny patted his back, and that was all the subconscious encouragement Danny needed to turn human and press his hand to the door. Once more, it opened. The fact that he's even able to open it made him know that this was something he was meant to do. He once again stepped through with Johnny right behind him.

[tanoraqui]

okay I have to do this today because even I wouldn’t do it after the godforsaken finale airs, and it’s basically my specialty and I did spend like an hour thinking about it last night while washing dishes. Definitely partly inspired by @words-writ-in-starlight​‘s insightful post on everything Supernatural did wrong, and apologies in advance to all the characters for dragging them into anything related to Christian mythology:

Wei Wuxian’s parents die in a house fire when he’s 6(? I refuse to look anything up) months old

Jiangs are a hunter family I guess? That whole disaster of a family dynamic, except WWX dips out at some point to be idk an environmental activist bc at the time, that seems like the larger threat to the whole world. “Mom and Dad went on a hunting trip and they haven’t come back”, “bitch” “jerk”, 2 brothers in a beat-up old car, you know the drill

Jins are also an old hunting family, but more Men of Letters energy - they have a fancy bunker and do research and avoid getting their actual hands dirty. Jiang Yanli ducked out of the active hunting life a few years ago to be happily married to her peacock and settled down with a baby and she’s fine. We’re not going to bother Yanli. She’s safe and happy and doesn’t need to involved in any of this

so, WWX is the demon blood child developing exciting new abilities like telekinesis, mind control, exorcising demons by sheer force of will...etc, and Jiang Cheng is the Righteous Man. Lucifer, Michael, etc.

s1-3 probably proceeds more or less as spn canon...which I more or less remember...by the time they find their parents at the end of s1, Jiang Fengmian is...ugh, we probably shouldn’t kill him offscreen, I mean, we should probably meet him before he dies. I guess. Madam Yu lasts longer because I’m way more interested in her. But we do know that both Jiang parents are totally inclined to fling the boys into a metaphorical or literal escape boat and go hold the line for as long as possible, so...that’s spn energy...

Xue Yang is the one who’s like “fuck yeah, demon powers” and opens the gates of Hell, because I want him to have nice* things

*nice for Xue Yang

from characterization rather than memory, I’m 90% sure that Dean tried to hide his crossroads deal from Sam, but Jiang Cheng does it...better. I think it does come out, though. Right before the hellhounds do.

here’s where it starts to go farther off from spn canon. Jiang Cheng crawls his way out of the grave, gets stalked by a menacing presence that explodes windows for an episode, incidentally can’t find WWX...*Lan Wangji voice* “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition” (a baller line then and a baller line now)...and then the next episode starts with them all awkwardly standing around, and JC is like, “ok well let’s go find my brother then”, and you think there’s going to be an mdzs-riffing JC+LWJ Roadtrip To Find WWX...and they’re immediately attacked by like a dozen demons

in fact, the first time we see WWX in s4 is here, wherein he goes toe to toe with an angel and...holds his own. that’s new and terrifying! also is leading a squad of demons??

because here’s the thing: for the last 3(?) months, there’s been war in hell

because unlike Some People Mooses, upon finding out that his brother’s soul was legally nearly-owned by a crossroads demon, heir-apparent-to-Satan!WWX went, “actually fuck that” and kicked open the door of Hell (metaphorically, not loosing any demons this time) and was like, “who do I have to beat the shit out of to get a specific crossroads contract around here”

this did not work, obv. He didn’t know until it was too late, Lilith had already snapped up the contract, etc. etc.

obviously he also tried to offer himself instead, and got rejected for some reason

Since Jiang Cheng died, however, there’s been a war for control of Hell. Leading one side, Lilith, the Original Babe, who wants to break all 666(?) seals keeping Lucifer bound and in the meantime, break the Righteous Man so Heaven won’t even have Michael’s destined host ready for the Final Battle. Leading the other side, Wei Wuxian, infamous upstart, who wants to rescue the Righteous Man and restore him to life, tear Lilith’s guts out through her nose, and also stop her from doing the Lucifer thing because Wen Qing explained that yes, that’s a Thing, and it’s Bad.

Wen Qing! I’ve decided to combine Bela and Ruby’s roles and let WQ be both the cool badass example of how demon deals can go Bad and the demon deliberately leading our heroes astray for most of s3-4. Wen Qing is a very new demon; she used to be some sort of herbalist/witch but then she sold her soul in a crossroads deal to cure her brother of some lingering illness. 10 years of happiness and then boom, hellhounds. WQ is so obviously competent, though, that they (Lilith, I guess?) immediately offers her a job, with the promise threat that gee, that’s a nice brother you’ve got there, even with his Designated Chronic Health Condition getting all relapse-y. It’d be such a shame if something were to...happen to him...

we find this out at some point in last s3 I guess? some Monster of the Week case involves WN as a witness or something, or possible next victim, and WQ shows up to be A Normal Amount Of Invested In This, while desperately trying to avoid actually interacting with her brother (who thinks she’s dead). YES, the truth comes out; YES there’s a tearful reunion

now in s4, Wen Ning is fine actually, health-wise, bc he maybe made a crossroads deal with Wei Wuxian personally, and Wen Qing may or may not have admitted that she’s supposed to be working for Lilith to get WWX ready to host Lucifer? Or potentially that comes out later, idk. Either way, she’s 100% his top lieutenant in this exciting Hell War they’re waging

[insert whatever the hell (ha) happened plot-wise in s4 of supernatural]

we obviously mix up the relationships, too, bc it’s like, *LWJ internal monologue* I’m too young to remember my brother Lucifer as he was before he Fell, but surely Wei Wuxian is his Heir and Destined Vessel in truth, for he is Charismatic and Charming and Makes Me Feel Things, with his Clearly Feigned Righteous Drive and Compassion for All God’s Creatures and - why does heat keep pooling in the lower abdomen of my vessel when I look at his lips, which I am definitely doing a Normal and Not-Weird Amount - I’m just keeping an eye out for the famed Silver Tongue, and not in any way wondering how it would feel in my own mouth -

it’s actually DEFINITELY plausible for Lucifer to still be released even if our designated Heir Apparent is using his demon powers to his full potential and no one’s lying to each other about their motives. You just need to let Lilith be more scary too, and especially bc by “no one” I mostly mean Wen Qing; the angels are still totally hiding the fact that they, too, want to jumpstart the shit out of this apocalypse.  LWJ decides at the last minute that that’s a bad idea actually, gets himself discorporated to send JC to intercept WWX because he accidentally releases Lucifer, etc. etc. Oh yeah, the boys were def fighting before this, bc JC has actually fairly reasonable concerns about the sort of things WWX is getting up to in his quest to become King of Hell...

SO

...I neither know nor care what happens in s5

it does end with both Lucifer and Michael locked in the cage probably, bc I rather liked that solution. Fuck both of ‘em, basically.

I was toying with the idea that WWX also found Madam Yu in whatever hellish torment she was suffering after making a deal so her idiot son(s) would survive, and she was leading forces for him in the war against Lilith as well. If she came back to life somehow, body and all, it’d probably be compelling if she offered her own body to Michael - bc it’s her lineage! - and we’re all led to believe that she’s, uh, being a bitch and actually wants to risk destroying the world in order to destroy all demons...but then she seizes back control and flings herself/Michael and Lucifer into the Pit, because she’s just That Hardcore?

which means we’d actually have had her around and having characterization for most of s4-5, too, which would be fun

More importantly, it ends with newly crowned King of Hell Wei Wuxian appointing Wen Qing as Queen-Regent and ditching to go on an indefinite honeymoon with his new angel boyfriend (they’re going to fuck for like three weeks straight, then roll up their sleeves and go conquer Heaven in the name of free will), and Jiang Cheng gets to live out his hitherto-unknown-to-himself life’s ambition to be the sugar baby of the Queen of Hell. It’s very Hades/Persephone, except he goes back down to the underworld at least once a month. He gets his own demon squad whom he trains up in all the hunting techniques and it’s gr9. Wen Qing is reforming the crossroads deal process to make it more fair to the humans.

the end

Addenda:

it should go without saying but Jiang Yanli is definitely a recurring character, like, at least once a season there’s a filler episode where they go to Jiang Yanli’s for dinner and have to get along as a family, and also do the much easier job of defeating some sort of terrible demon that gets loose in the bunker and turns the evening into a horror movie. She’s their main research/emotional check-in person, a la Bobby, more often appearing in later seasons when there’s, uhhh, more to emotionally check in about.

Jin Zixuan is actually a perfectly competent hunter; he’s just a priss and we don’t Like him

we like Mianmian, though. Oh, I guess the official Hunter’s Guild or w/e tries to declare WWX a public enemy on account of the whole “King of Hell” thing and she’s like “actually what if you’re morons and assholes?” and joins hte team in s4 or 5? Yeah.

idk how the 3zun disaster happens in this ‘verse but I do encourage it to be happening in slow motion as a recurring subplot for several seasons. NMJ is a hunter, LXC is obv an angel, and JGY is...I wanna say one of the more human monsters, like a vampire? Or, you know, something that could be born from JGS sleeping with someone/something he shouldn’t have

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Hii I have a request if you are doing some rn it's for draco and its just before the war starts and him and the reader (snapes daughter) run off to a house dracos parents have but when the reader is told her father has died they have to go back for the funeral and see everyone again (eg. Harry, Ron, dracos parents ect) ❤️

Oh the angst that is about to happen

Note: Sirius is still alive in this, originally I had this idea that Draco actually saved his life in the ministry battle.

The house was silent with the exception of the faucet's drip and Draco's breathing. Right now the summer house was the only peace he had. You were off with the trio, doing God knows what, worrying the hell out of Draco before you walked in. Draco looked up, rushing to you. You seemed to be in this state of shock as Hermione, Ron and Harry all followed. "What happened?" He asked. You said nothing, your mouth slightly open, eyes wide in this state of shock. "...Snape..." Hermione swallowed. "Severus is... Dead." Harry said making Draco look at you. You still seemed unresponsive. "How long has she been like this?" Draco asked. "Since Snape said goodbye." Ron muttered, sitting on the black couch with his face in his hands. Hermione sat next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back. "Y/n... Please say something." Harry begged. You swallowed, staring at one spot on the floor. "Gone." Was the last thing anyone heard you say before your body seemingly gave out and you fell over, Draco catching you.

You spent the next few days processing what happened. No one could talk to you, not even Draco could get you to utter a word. You were an orphan and caught in a war you barely understood as a fucking child. No one should suffer this much, no one deserves that pain. When the funeral was planned Snape asked that his final resting place be in a muggle cemetery. The oddest request but a good one. This meant a very small chance of Voldemort disrupting it. You expected a very small crowd but that was not the case. Students from all houses, even a few death eaters and teachers all showed up.

Mcgonagall sat next to you, Molly Weasley on your other side. The two women spent their time raising you, helping you through all of this. You still had that numb expression on your face. You tried to recall a time with a very very happy moment with your father. There were plenty but none of them were real moments that stayed with you. You remembered him showing vulnerable emotions and expressions to you but you never recalled a true moment where your father seemed truly happy. Then it hit you. The grading papers.

You sat in a seat next to your father's desk. "Father." You muttered. "Yes Y/n?" He asked. "What was mum like?" You asked. He never gave you a full answer to that. But something about his expression told you that he was going to give you a full answer this time. "Mia was a very strong woman... You take after her." He said with a mindless nod. "What made you love her?" You asked. He pondered at that. "Her intelligence." He replied. "She was smart?" You asked. "She was more than that. She had an answer for almost everything. But not in the way you'd expect." He stated, writing on a paper. "Like Hermione?" You asked. "No. Like a philosopher." Snape corrected. You nodded. "Am I like her?" You asked. He stopped writing and looked at you with a soft smile, moving your hair and looking at the eyes that reminded him everyday how strong you truly could be. "In more ways than one." He assured. You smiled and he went back to writing. "You have your mother's eyes." He told you. A fact you already knew but it was so sincere in the moment, you nearly had tears form.

An observation that would stay with you. An observation that nearly made you cry. The last comment from your father that he told you. Even in his dying moments Severus placed a hand on your cheek, brushing away the tears and he told you "Even in war.... You still have your mother's eyes."

You bit your lip, wiping your eyes and gripping the hem of your black dress. Molly swapped seats with Draco, him sliding his hand into yours and you buried your face into his black suit jacket. He held you close to him, closing his eyes as people got up to view him. His parents were silent, Narcissa being genuinely upset that someone who kept Draco safe and away from all of this was gone. He watched Draco grow up, for God's sake, you grew up in their home. Lucius couldn't face you. Not knowing he contributed to the loss of such a man.

Harry didn't necessarily like the man. He was a disagreeable person but the one thing they always settled on was you. Harry was like your brother, keeping you safe and sound when he needed to. To see this man gone was a hard hit especially since you were in pain and Harry couldn't fix it. Not this time.

Hermione was the same as Harry. Snape tended to give her a hard time for being intelligent but she did enjoy seeing him with you. Snape, even in class showed a happier side to him, encouraging you to show your intelligence and to think outside the box. She may not have liked him completely as a person. But even she could admit he was a damn good father to you.

Ron was more conflicted. He didn't like Snape. Snape didn't like him. Like Harry, the only common ground he had with him was you. Ron tended to be a bit more hardheaded but his feelings became less bitter when Severus actually acted kind and accepting to Molly. When Molly treated you with kindness and provided a second home to you, Snape was glad for this and encouraged you to go to them when you needed to.

Draco was not like any of them. Draco grew up along side you, he knew Severus a lot better than the others. He saw the truly vulnerable moments, he was there for the arguments, the laughter, the smiles and the family he knew to be yours. Lucius allowed you to be around Draco, seeing Severus as a friend more than an enemy. Draco and you had each other's backs in the toughest of situations and Draco was glad to see that you had someone like Draco assuring you that you were stronger than most people. When Draco actually fell in love with you, Severus had no objections to you two being together. Only that you two be slightly secretive due to your open affiliation with the Order and Draco being a double agent. In the end, that same thing is what killed Severus, being a double agent. The secrets literally destroyed him.

As the casket was lowered, there was not one wizard who didn't raise their wand, using the light to signify one that they lost. You dropped a single white rose onto the casket, Draco holding with one arm and you raising your wand sadly. Eventually people began to leave, leaving you standing by his graveside. The rain began to fall, Fred holding an umbrella over you as you stared vacantly at the ground. "...He was always such a pain in class... But he always seemed happy when you were around." George muttered. You let out a shaking breath. "We're here Y/n. All of us." Arthur assured.

"... What's your favorite memory of Snape? Everyone." Harry asked. "...When he smacked Ron and you upside the heads because you wouldn't stop talking and Y/n nearly toppled over because Ron made a weird noise." Ginny answered. "When Fred accidentally stepped on his cape and he was pissed for weeks, growling at him in class." George said. "When he pulled two students out of a carriage at the Yule." Hermione said making Ron smile. "When he nearly set Draco on fire for kissing Y/n in front of him." Ron said. A small smile tugged at your lips. "When he would read to me and Y/n growing up and he did those voices." Draco said making you finally smile. "When he nearly cussed out Quirrell for releasing the troll in our first year." Harry said. Everyone looked at you and you swallowed. "When me and him sat in his office and he finally answered questions about my mother... And he told me that..." You took in a breath, staring the single white rose. "I had my mother's eyes." You said. Finally. You spoke.

Suddenly though, the trio understood what sent you into shock. Hearing those words again... It must've changed the meaning of the memory you had. Draco kissed the side of your head and you sighed. "This is hard." You muttered. "You lost your Dad Y/n... It's okay to grieve." Remus said, making you all turn around as him and Nymphadora walked over. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder, giving a nod to Draco as a greeting.

"Severus was always a tight ass in school. But God damn was he smart." Sirius said. You let out a sad laugh. "He always had a soft spot for your mother though." Remus said making you turn. "What?" You asked. "Your mother. Mia." Remus said. "You... She was a wizard?" You asked. Everyone looked at you surprised. "You... Didn't know?" Remus asked. "Dad never answered conclusively and she's buried in a muggle cemetery." You said, motioning to the other grave. "....She was Songbird." Sirius said making Fred and George gape. "She was a Marauder?!" George asked. "Yes." Remus and Sirius answered in unison. "How the hell did dad like her then? He hated you guys." You asked. "Well hate is a strong word--" "Oh no. He hated you." Draco nodded. "No one could hate Mia. Not even Filch." Remus finally answered. Sirius looked at you as you stared at Snape's grave.

Tears streamed down your face and you let out a long breath. "Are you okay?" Sirius asked. You nodded after a long silence, the rain hitting the umbrellas. "I think I'll be okay..." You began

"I have my family with me."

Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @mariah-can-dream

[estoniacobaltpayne]

Judgement Day

Chapter 3: Temptation

Summary: Desperate, a force user bargains for her freedom; if she acquires the ‘asset’ deemed top priority, she would be free from the life that has enslaved her. Years of training has prepared her, but she’s stubborn and unlucky and more often than not she’s biting off more than she can chew. Maybe pulling the long con is the only path to freedom, but if it is, there’s a Mandalorian blocking it.

Warnings: language, sexual themes

Parirings: Din Djarin X Reader

Prologue: Here!

Chapter 1: Here!

Chapter 2: Here!

The air filling the cockpit of the ship is somehow both hotter than Arvala-7, and stuffier than Sorgan. The only sounds were the faint beeping from the dashboard, and the child’s playful cooing. Ragna sat in the copilot’s seat behind Mando’s left, and mulled over why she would bother to save him from the AT-ST walker back on Sorgan. What was the point? She just hindered her own damn plan! What the fuck is wrong with me? She thought hopelessly to herself.

Mando, in the pilot’s chair, was mulling over similar thoughts, and was just as confused. If Ragna was plotting against him, why would she bother saving him when she could have just as easily let him die? He wanted so badly to ask her why she helped him; to talk about the last few weeks and the child and her father and everything in between. He had to, really. He was going to. Yeah, he was going to.

“(Y/N)-“

But that’s as far as he got, because all of a sudden, another ship jumped out of hyperspace behind them and immediately got to work on shooting them down. Mando was quick to engage and fight back, but the abruptness of the engaging fighter caused all three of the them to be lurched from their seats. As Mando warded off the aggressor, Ragna leaped up to strap the child into the other copilot’s seat. She could hear an incoming message claiming that Mando’s insubordination to the Bounty Hunter’s Guild was to soon be his demise, but she paid little attention. The two hunters continued to converse, and after Ragna strapped in the child, she turned to help Mando. As much as she wanted to see him dead, if she didn’t help him take this other bounty hunter out, they’d both be nothing more than a waste of and in space. And then where would she be? She did her best to hold their opponent still using her abilities, but he was a slippery little bastard.

“I have an idea,” Mando declared. “I’m going to break. When I do, he’ll jut in front of us. You hold him still, and I’ll shoot. Brace yourself.”

And he did just that. (Y/N) braced herself on the dashboard, but the force of the manoeuvre was so strong, it threw her back onto the Mandalorian’s lap; she had no time to pay it any mind, because all conscious thought went into using the force to hold the other bounty hunter’s ship still. Once she knew their attacker had been terminated though, she began lamenting the fact that it was a random bounty hunter that was vaporised out of existence and not her.

Because being strewn across this man’s lap was bad enough, but looking up and meeting his visor’s gaze was worse. Instinctively, he had wrapped his left arm around her shoulders, and his legs had been spread further apart to make more room for her form. The two were unable to look away from each other- all reasonable thought had been thrown out the window, and they were stuck in time, once again. It wasn’t until the warning sirens blared out in panicked shrills that they pulled out of their trance. (Y/N) quickly stood up and moved back to the vacant copilot’s seat.

Not another word was said until they reached Tatooine.

Mando landed and exchanged quick words with the owner of the hanger before making to exit, off to find work. Ragna rushed out of the ship.

“Shouldn’t I come with you? You might need my help?” Ragna stated, realising that the Tatooinian dunes would be the perfect place to leave a Mandalorian corpse.

If that’s even what I want now. She was quick to push that thought aside.  

“No, stay here and make sure nothing happens to the child,” came the Mandalorian’s response.

She tried not to let her face drop in earnest annoyance. “Yeah, I suppose that’s my job anyways!” she responded, trying to appear lighthearted.

Well, she could make that work too, she supposed. As soon as the ship was stable enough to fly, she’d take the child and leave. It didn’t matter if the bounty hunter was left dead or alive after his excursion. She’d be gone, ship controls in one hand, and child in the other.

Gods, please let this work this round, she thought. She was starting to get the feeling that if she didn’t end this soon, she’d never gain her freedom from the Empire. Or worse- she wouldn’t want to gain it if it meant bringing harm to the Mandalorian and the child. Whatever happens to the Mandalorian and the child is not my damn problem! she kept reassuring herself. But the repeated mantra was quickly beginning to lose its effect.

——

Mando had found that his guard was slipping throughout this whole ordeal in bringing in Fennec Shand. Catching her shouldn’t have been so hard, and he knew for damned sure he shouldn’t have entrusted Toro Calican with jack shit. And yet here he was, moping on the back of a damned dewback. But it wasn’t even that which contributed the most to his mood.

It was (Y/N).

The sight of her strewn across his lap had been nearly too much. It had been a while since he’d been able to… take care of himself in any way, and an even longer time since he’d been able to do so with someone he cared about in any capacity. He tried to reason with himself that he didn’t hold a single iota of deeper feelings for (Y/N), but he was beginning to realise that he couldn’t keep pushing these feelings back, no matter how terribly they were conflicting with the logic that he usually kept on autopilot. And, oh, was the ingrained image of her looking up at him from his lap interfering with that autopilot. She was becoming a problem.

More than anything, she perplexed Mando to no end. She had had several chances to slip behind his back and betray him in any number of ways, and yet, she hadn’t. But then why had both Cara and Omera been unable to trust her? Sure she had been caught in the middle of some weird situations that she had been able to explain away as mere extenuating circumstances, but if she had been attempting to betray him this whole time, why did she bother to save him not once, not twice, but three times now?

And why did he like it so damn much when she feel into his lap earlier? Oh, man. That was going to a persistent little reoccurring thought, wasn’t it?

——

Meanwhile, Ragna was beginning to realise that enacting any part of her grander scheme was going to be easier in theory. While conning the Mandalorian was proving to be easier that she originally anticipated (or so she liked to think), it was the detail in the plan of finding a moment of solitude that was really bearing problems.

The mechanic who owned the hangar, Peli Motto, was yet another of such obstacles in her plot. She was always around; always shouting at her droids, insisting that Ragna help her with the ship, and then there was the incessant talking. Oh, the talking. Ragna’s patience was beginning to wear thin. If she spent half as much time focusing on fixing the ship as she did talking at me, I could have left already! Ragna found herself thinking more often than not.

It wasn’t until Ragna was reporting back to her father the next evening where she began to grow restlessly desperate. His words had been particularly harsh that night, more so than usual, and it caused an untameable panic to rise in her throat, and her mind recalled the fear she felt when she was taken as a child, and paralleled it to her hunt for freedom in the present. Ragna could do nothing but helplessly watch the images flash by in her head.

A younger, though still just as terrifying version of Ragna’s Imperial father dragged away from a burning city. Though just a child, the severity of the situation had visibly wised her up instantly.

“I don’t want to go! Leave me be!” the young girl shouted.

“Quiet, girl! You’d do well to learn your place!” the man spit back.

“No! I won’t go with you! I won’t!” she pleaded, tears running down her round, adolescent face.

The older man sneered and let out a cynical laugh. “Oh? And what, pray tell, do you intend to do to stop me?”

“I’ll fight! I’ll never be one of you! I swear it!” she thrashed in the man’s arms as he led her away from her burning home. She thrashed and thrashed until she tired herself out.

She remembers being awake as he carted her away. Across the galaxy. To the Imperial Cruiser she would be forced to know as home. She was awake to witness this, but she was numb.

She was numb when her new ‘father’ laid her down in her new bed and told her this was her home now.

She was numb when he took her to a wrinkly old man who had the same powers as her. The same powers that her family had died trying to shelter her from.

She was numb when the wrinkly old man told her he was the Emperor, and, lord, was she thankful she was numb when he tortured her into using the force that her family had kept her from using.

The memories faded with dark echoes of, “you must embrace your potential,” and, “we are the only ones who want you.” Years of this brainwashing had been lost on her; trying to make her believe her family- her real family- didn’t want her. But she knew they had broken her in so many other ways; she knew when they sent her out on her first mission. She was not even eighteen years of age, and yet, she had killed so many so easily. This, of course, was not the first circumstance where she had been made to take another’s life, but this was the first time she had actually enjoyed it to some extent. She liked to tell herself that it was just the thrill of being let out on her own for the first time, but deep down, she knew that that was not the case.

She couldn’t settle after her reverie; her anxiety was pumping her blood through her head too hard. She needed to go. Immediately. The ship, whatever state it was in, would have to do.

She desperately clambered out of the ship to fetch the child, who had been playing with Peli’s droids in the shipyard. But, oh, so conveniently, he was no longer there.

“Kid? Kid where are you!” she whispered around the shipyard, doing her best to not be noticed by Peli or one of her many droids.

She was not expecting another, unknown person to catch her, though.

“The kid’s stayin’ right here.”

So close. She was so damn close to obtaining her freedom. If it wasn’t for this new asshole, Toro-fucking-Calican and his damned existence, she’d have already been out of here. He knocked her unconscious with one of Peli’s wrenches before she even had a chance to turn around and stare him in the eyes.

——

When she came to a few hours later, Calican had Peli Motto held hostage at gunpoint. The child was held in his arms, close enough to gunpoint to be a problem. She reckoned that her best bet was to try and manipulate him into doing what she wanted, but either Calican was smarter than he looked, or his head was too thick to penetrate, because nothing she said was having an effect on him. Eventually, she realised manipulating his mind wasn’t going to work, either.

So, out of options, she pulled out one of her oldest tricks. She hated using it, really, and had only used it a handful of times. It left a sour taste in her mouth, as she was made to use it for the first time at only the age of ten to force a prisoner of war into giving information. When he didn’t… Ragna didn’t like to think about that.

And she didn’t like to think about the world tuning out around her; she didn’t like thinking about how, even though her hand was at least twelve feet away from his neck, she could feel the blood clogging on either end of where the force was cutting off his air. She absolutely didn’t want to think about the panic that was flowing through the areas in his veins that his blood no longer could. She didn’t want to think about the child that was calling to her through the force to stop. She couldn’t stop. This was what she was supposed to do. Designed to do.

Ragna didn’t hear the Mandalorian arrive in the hangar. Neither did she hear him calling out to her. She didn’t hear him the second time, or the third. She couldn’t hear anything outside her head and Calican’s; only his pleading in his head, his screaming, and the screams of her past drilling holes in her sanity.

She was violently ripped from her spiralling when Mando laid a gentle hand on her upper arm and whispered her name, her real name, into her ear. Calican doubled over and sucked in gulps of air. (Y/N) could only spin around and stare into the dark visor. Ironically, it was the lightest thing in her line of sight, the rest of the world still dark around her. He gripped her arm tighter and leaned in, whispering her name again as she began to come back into the real world.

“Your girlfriend’s a psycho, Mando!” Calican exclaimed, regaining his breath. He was quick to aim his blaster again, his aim trying to decide between Mando, Ragna, and Peli Motto.

Mando only shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly, his aim at Calican’s head not once faltering. “Yeah? That’s not sayin’ much coming from you.” Mando’s words were pointed, calculated; their intended effect to sway Calican punctual and precise.

But what Ragna couldn’t stop focusing on was that Mando didn’t deny Calican’s statement about her being his girlfriend. The logical side of her knew that Mando wasn’t going to go into details with this man; he’d be dead within moments anyways, so why bother prolonging the conversation? But another part of her, a part buried deep down, liked that he hadn’t denied it. Which was dangerous, Ragna concluded, and something that should not, under any circumstance, be further considered or dwelled upon.

Mando and Calican only bickered for another second or two before things got messy. Blasters started firing, and Calican dropped the child in favour of an extra appendage. Ragna knew this was her last chance to bolt; with the Mandalorian still preoccupied with a shootout with Calican, she scooped up the child, dashed up the ramp of the ship and ascended in to the cockpit, closing the doors behind her. She had to get this ship in the air. It was cutting it close- too close- with the Mandalorian still in the hangar, but it was what it was.

The blood pumping through her ears muffled the sounds of gunfire outside, which was to her detriment, because just as she was about to finish firing up the ship, the Mandalorian entered the cockpit.

“What are you doing?” he said, pulling her out of her trance-like focus.

Ragna jumped; how did he crawl himself out of that so quickly? Actually, she thought, I really shouldn’t be so fucking surprised, at this point.

She knew she had to get herself out of this one on the spot. She pulled a pleasantly surprised face and turned to face him. “Oh thank the maker it’s you, Mando!” She let out a fake breath she wasn’t really holding. Or at least, not for the reason she wanted Mando to think.

He just continued to stare at her inquisitively. “Yes, but… what were you doing, Ragna?”

She opened and closed her mouth a few times while she thought up a quick lie. “It… it was purely instinctual! I couldn’t let Calican get the child! I…” she called upon every acting skill she could muster to look truly defeated in the chair. “So I ran up here. If I locked us in the cockpit, he wouldn’t be able to get in! I thought that by starting up the ship, I’d have time to get away should he get the upper hand!”

The Mandalorian tilted his head in a patronising manor. “Really? You think Calican would be able to out-gun me?”

“Well, you were the one who got himself out-witted by the novice in the middle of the desert!” Ragna gave him a teasing look. “Perhaps your reputation no longer precedes you. Maybe you’re really just the ‘okayest’ bounty hunter in the parsec.”

Mando only shrugged his shoulders and dismissed her teasing, before ushering her up and out of the pilot’s chair. She was heading out of the cockpit when Mando let out a final, “good job.”

Her head spun around faster than the rest of her body could, leaving her in an awkward, disjointed position. It reflected her shattered inner thoughts quite fittingly, she supposed.

“What did you say?” she inquired. She had heard him just fine, but she was having a hard time believing that he had said it at all. It knocked the air out of her, and it showed in her words.

“You… you did the right thing. If Calican had gotten the upper hand, I would have wanted you to have taken the kid and bailed. And that goes for any situation in the future, too. So… good job.”

Ragna could only let out a pathetic ‘thank you’ as she exited the cockpit. How could he thank her? How dare he thank her after what she had just attempted, and then lied about? How dare he make her feel welcomed, something she hadn’t felt in such a long time, when she was doing everything in her power to double cross him? How dare he make her question every moral, or lack thereof, she was trained to push aside in favour of the advancement of the Empire?

How dare he tempt her out of the darkness she had shrouded herself in for personal security?

[365days365movies]

April 1, 2021: The Gold Rush (Review)

This is a classic silent film...and that doesn’t make this easy.

This is the first silent film that I’ve covered in this blog. Not the first I’ve ever seen, of course, but the first that I’ve ever had to sit down and review like this. So, before I jump into attempting to judge this film on my own merits, I have a couple things to say. First things first...why didn’t I choose The Kid, Chaplin’s first feature-length comedy film? Why The Gold Rush instead?

Well, chief amongst those reasons is simply the fact that I think this one is more important for me to watch. It’s Chaplin’s third film, he’s already an established star, and he was able to exert a lot of creative influence on this one, making this a good pick to view him as an auteur. It’s lauded as his best film by most people, and it produced one of the most famous scenes in film history (the bread roll dance scene). To be honest...I thought that it would be weirder having not seen this film, and it would be having not seen The Kid. That make any sense? It’s weird, I know.

That’s not to say the The Gold Rush is the last Chaplin movie I’ll ever see. Hell, this month, I have TWO MORE on my list, although we’ll see if I inevitably decide to watch them. I think I will, though, because they’ve been on my list for a while. Although, I’ll have to decide between City Lights and Modern Times...hmmm. We’ll see.

The other thing I want to address is what happened to Chaplin around this time. I hinted at it in the Recap, but I want to elucidate further here. In 1919, Chaplin came up with his plan to make his own film studio, uniting with famous director D.W. Griffith, and famous silent film actress Mary Pickford. This became United Artists, and was meant to allow actors to control their careers and interests, instead of relying on larger studios. And in case you weren’t sure, this studio is indeed still around! Their next film?

Oh, yeah, these are the Bond guys! What was their last film?

Ah. Well. That’s too bad. They also work with LAIKA and MGM, control the Rocky/Creed franchise alongside Bond, and are a pretty successful studio, all things considered! As for Chaplin, he made films with UA starting in 1923, with A Woman in Paris, and ending in 1952, with Limelight. He made 2 more films after this, but I’ll talk about that at a later date.

Once The Kid came out, Chaplin’s studio was a success, and he was a millionaire, and had been married to actress Mildred Harris, with whom he had a child when she was...16, oh NOOOO. That child sadly died a few days later, but their marriage persisted for 2 years, before ending quite bitterly in 1920. Chaplin wasn’t the best partner. But, losing his child ended up fueling his work on The Kid, which was a smash-hit. He wrote a book, he got engaged, he stopped being engaged when he straight-up ghosted that girl, and he filmed the drama A Woman in Paris with UA, and it was another reflection about his life, being about ill-fated lovers. It didn’t do very well.

That was made WAY worse by personal circumstances with newest wife, Lita Grey. Also 16 when they married (compared to Chaplin’s 35, BIG FUCKIN’ YIKES), this was a shotgun wedding of sorts, spurred on by an unexpected pregnancy. The two wed during the end of the production of The Gold Rush. Grey, by the way, was in The Kid, and was ORIGINALLY Georgia in The Gold Rush. But this is Chaplin we’re talking about, of COURSE this marriage was terrible.

See, they ended up having 2 kids within less than a year, because Chaplin was...Chaplin. But Charles HATED spending time with Lita, and spent most of his time away from her at the studio. The Gold Rush replaced Lita for Georgia Hale (an admirer of Chaplin since she was young), and the film was a massive success. And the marriage to Lita ended in a FIERCE divorce, which resulted in Lita taking the kids and leaving a year later in 1926. And that divorce was huge news...but I think I’ll wait to talk about that later.

Let’s get into...oh, God, she was ELEVEN when they started working together on The Kid, and they had a kid together FIVE YEARS LATER??? GROSS, DUDE.

...Let’s get into the Review.

Review

Cast and Acting: 8/10

Charlie Chaplin is, well, Charlie Chaplin. He’s keyed into his role more than anybody else in history, and the Tramp/Prospector shines here, unsurprisingly. Chaplin’s basically perfect, and for all of his IMMENSE faults as a human being, his acting in this film certainly isn’t amongst them. All credit where credit’s due, honestly. But, OK, everybody else? Honestly, pretty good! I’m not accustomed to judging silent performance, ESPECIALLY in a comedy, so the visual performances are almost all fantastic. But if you want a liiiiiiiittle nitpicking...Georgia Hale is a little stiff at times, Mack Swain is a little over-the-top occasionally, and Tom Murray is just...there. These are extremely minor, but compared to Chaplin, they don’t QUITE measure up. To be fair, though, this is basically nitpicking.

Plot and Writing: 9/10

A comedy’s strength is in its writing, which I argued in my little dissection of the comedy “genre” (you can check that our right here, if you want), as well as the performance of that writing. Which is why silent films are...complicated. So, instead, my target has to be the execution of the plot and story. And...yeah, it’s a straightforward plot, understandable story, no real strain here at any turn. It’s a good story, and Charlie Chaplin (of course) does a good job with it. Apparently, he really WAS inspired by the story of the Donner Party (meaning that the choice to film in Truckee MUST have been on purpose), which is why I KNEW that shoe-eating thing seemed familiar. The Donner Party did the exact same thing with their shoes! Y’know, before eating each other, of course. But this was a well-written story, with more complexity than expected. Or possibly necessary, because Larsen really didn’t need to be here for the plot to work. That is a little weird for me, but I also understand why he was included. Again, nitpicking all over the place.

Directing and Cinematography: 10/10

No nitpicking for me here! Charlie Chaplin is a famously good director, and this is a great example of his work. Very typical for the time, sure, and mostly just perfunctory, but it’s still a well-directed film. Cinematography was surprisingly Roland Totheroth, and not Chaplin! Not that Totheroth was a slouch either. Ol’ Rollie (as he was often billed) is one of Charlie Chaplin’s most ardent comrades (ha...communism. That will...that’ll make sense later), and accompanied him as cinematographer and camera operator for over 30 films. And this is another great example of his work!

Production and Art Design: 10/10

If Chaplin wanted to recreate arctic boomtowns and desolate cabins...gotta say, he nailed it. This looks great, and the setting feels quite authentic, all things considered. For 1925, I think Chaplin exceeds expectations here. Now, granted, there are films from this time period that have really hefty production budgets, but this one is still a great looking film regardless of that. Again, credit where credit’s due.

Music and Editing: 9/10

Funny thing; the 1940s reissue of this film had different music added to it, because Chaplin wanted different music on it, and a lot of people who say they like that release say that the music is better. Which is interesting, because I REALLY liked the music in this movie! Using covers of classical music works quite well, I think, and the original tracks are pretty great as well. I mean, just looking at the dancing rolls GIF up there reminds me of the sprightly tune accompanying it. And that music was selected by, big surprise, Charlie Chaplin. He’s not the only person involved, of course, but he was a major part of this choice. And yes, he was ALSO the editor for the film! Geez, dude wore many black bowler hats, huh? Well, that docked point is for the slightly off editing in a few scenes, but it’s really not bad. This is once again me nitpicking.

94%, and it’s worth every digit, and more!

This is one of the great American classic films (ironically made by a British filmmaker), and it’s a movie that should be seen by everybody at least once. Is it my favorite comedy? FUCK NO IT AIN’T. But mostly, that’s because this film is funny...but that’s not where its charm lies. It’s not nearly as funny as many comedies I’ve previously covered, but it has a HELL of a lot of heart to go with it. It’s a worthy film on its own merits, divorced from the normal trappings of comedies. You can literally find the film, THE ENTIRE FILM, on Wikipedia. So check it out!

But for now, let’s move from the Tramp to another dynamo of the Silent Era. And yeah, we have a few more people from this time period to cover. Isn’t that right, Buster?

April 2, 2021: The General (1926), dir. Buster Keaton

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 4)

part 1

part 2

part 3

i’m back, to continue from where we left off. obnoxiously, i’m going to take a minute to plug my patreon, which is primarily for my webcomic but i also do movie reviews and talk about bad books i find so if you like these posts, you’ll probably like those as well. all i ask....is one dollar a month.

anyway fuck that let’s get back into this.

images are from the riverdale wiki

SEASON ONE (PART 2):

the last picture show: immediately this show reveals that our beloved jughead has been living in a nearly abandoned drive-in that he also works at. too bad for him, because it’s closing down. hilariously, literally nobody in his circle of friends cares and call his make-shift house a crack den. owned. its revealed an anonymous buyer purchased it from the town and the mayor decided to sell it to whoever.

archie brings flowers to his teacher-girlfriend’s recital and when he and grundy (and his dad) head to pop’s for a good ol malt or whatever, betty confronts him about his relationship. betty is hurt when he says grundy believed in him when no one else did and goes home with renewed purpose: take grundy down.

veronica’s mom is caught having a heated argument with a member of the southside serpents gang next to a dumpster by cheryl who, as she delights in misery and disaster, captures it all on camera. she shows veronica, who confronts her mother who brushes her off.

betty lures grundy into a fake interview for her school paper instead of going to the police. betty seems to be determining all of this based on the fact that she didnt have any social media until a year ago, which really makes me question betty’s journalistic bonefides. its framed like this means she didn’t exist before she got a twitter or whatever. its really weird. more relevant is that the only record of a geraldine grundy.....WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO DIED 7 YEARS AGO!!!!! she takes this information to archie as well, who doesn’t care at all. he’s way too horny to care.

betty breaks into grundy’s vw bug and finds a gun and her real i.d. with her real name. archie is still too horny to care, even though betty (again, really overstepping her journalistic bounds) says that grundy might have killed jason (BASED ON THE EXISTENCE OF A GUN BETTY!!! COME ON). archie finally asks grundy straight up what the fuck is going on and she cops to trying to escape from an abusive husband, hence the gun and fake names.

jughead finds out that archie’s dad’s construction company won the bid to destroy the drive-in. its a bad time to be jughead. he tries to ask archie’s dad not to tear down the drive-in. through this convo we learn that jughead’s dad was fired from andrews construction several years ago for theft. a scene after this reveals that veronica’s mom is facilitating the purchase of the drive-in with the mayor pn behalf of her incarcerated husband.

i’m so glad the wiki reminded me of this line, word for word: everyone (and i mean literally everyone in town) goes to the drive-in for one last hurrah, where the southside serpents are guffawing up a storm. veronica somehow silences them by saying “You know what happens to a snake when a Louboutin heel steps on it? Shut the hell up or you’ll find out.“ it sucks so bad. veronica then witnesses her mother having an encounter with the same gang member who she is revealed to be paying to drive down the value of the drive-in property so hiram lodge can buy it for cheap.

archie and grundy are caught in a passionate embrace after betty’s mom reads her diary and goes on the warpath, rightfully telling her to get the fuck out of town or she’ll reveal her to be a child molester. grundy agrees to leave and archie is heartbroken. the last show of geraldine this season is her ogling two teen boys. horrible. leave, woman.

jughead leaves his shitty home and on his way out is accosted by the same gang member who was talking to hermoine lodge and is revealed to be....JUGHEADS DAD!!!!!!!!!! whatever.

heart of darkness: the town is abuzz with jason’s upcoming funeral and the teens of riverdale are fighting over who gets to take the dead kids spot as captain of the football team in a really normal and not at all super ghoulish way. archie is working his heart out now that his favorite teacher/pedophile has fled town. he has his time wasted by a member of the pussycats, valerie, who nets him a meeting with a music songwriter who tells archie he doesn’t have time for his shit. its a weird and totally pointless scene in the long run. it doesnt matter because archie’s music thing never comes to anything. the guy tells archie later, when he returns with sheet music, that his songs suck shit and he hates his music and to get out of his office.

jason and polly’s (betty’s sister) relationship seems to be at the center of whatever happened to jason, so betty starts asking around town about her sister, by using dates as a cover to ask probing questions to members of the football team. she also tries asking her father, who explains that polly and jason had a fight, polly tried to kill herself and so was shipped off to a mental institution. learning about jason’s death fucked her up again so they shan’t be exposing her to more sordid info about the events. the only information they get is that jason was selling drugs to raise money to leave town.

betty and jughead trace this thread to find out why jason would want to leave town but veronica is already finding out firsthand after she is invited to the blossom mansion for the world’s worst sleepover before the memorial (cool timing): the blossoms are all insane. they make their money on maple syrup, using the funds to build riverdale as we know it. veronica and cheryl bond over their awful parents and versonic encourages cheryl to act out at jason’s memorial FOR SOME REASON. KNOWING FULL WELL WHO CHERYL IS.

demonstrating extremely normal judgement, betty and jughead plan to raid jason’s room during the memorial to find clues. cheryl goes full hamlet, throwing herself on the coffin and weeping during her eulogy. they use this as cover to sneak away and go commit the worst social faux-pax you truly can do. however, they are interrupted by cherly’s senile grandmother, nana rose, who mistakes her for polly and reveals polly and jason were engaged. 

betty takes this information to her father who reveals he already knows but forbid the arrangement because the blossoms and the coopers have been trying to kill each other for decades over the whole maple syrup empire thing. betty and jughead later suspect her dad broke into the sheriff's office to steal his files related to uhhh everything i guess; a hunch which turns out to be correct.

meanwhile veronica’s mom is sent a live snake by the serpent gang, calls big strong fred andrews to come save her and then asks him for a job.

faster pussycats! kill! kill!: first of all fuck, the name of this ep.

archie, for some reason because i guess he doesn’t know what embarrassment is, decides he’s going to play an original song he wrote for the school talent show. he immediately gets stage fright at the try-outs and wusses out. veronica goes behind his back to sign him up anyway. thanks, asshole!

valerie, from the last ep, quits the pussycats because josie is slightly more stressed than usual about uhhh the talent show. also because she has a crush on archie for some reason.

hermoine, while acting as fred andrews’ new secretary, realizes he’s fucking BROKE. why’d he hire her? who knows. too late now. she suggests firing some people (for example............her, maybe, fred) but fred cant bear it...and is hoping to be saved by the newest construction job he doesn’t know that hermoine is manipulating under the table. much like his son, fred is now too horny to care and they make out while veronica watches awkwardly.

the remaining pussycats try to figure out what to do about their missing member problem. josie’s mom helpfully lays out that they need a strong woman of color, but not one prettier or more talented than josie. enter...VERONICA!!! who is miffed because archie replaced her with valerie in the talent show duet. veronica is now scientifically less pretty and talented than josie by show standards, which just rules because i love thinking that there are teen power rankings in riverdale.

betty and jughead make their way to visit polly at The Sisters Of Quiet Mercy which is literally the best name for a goth cover band in the world. surprise! polly is pregnant with jason’s baby. polly reveals she and jason planned to run away together, but she was caught by her parents and sent away. she then awkwardly asks how jason is and someone has to break the news to her.

josie’s dad makes a brief appearance, which i absolutely do not remember at all. i thought he only showed up in season 3 which makes mayor mccoys character arc way more awkward. anyway, the mccoy family, the andrews and the lodges all have dinner together to discuss business and its awkward as all hell. no one at the table likes the andrews.

betty straight up asks her dad if he killed jason and her mom laughs her ass off at the idea of betty’s soft white suburban ham shank looking dad being able to kill a weed much less a human. keep that in mind.

veronica’s mom forges veronica signature on a form allowing andrews construction to move ahead with the job.

jughead and betty kiss after talking about how they arent their parents. keep that in mind. anyway, betty takes jughead to a car polly mentioned that full of EVIDENCE. they take picture of it and leave the car to go tell the sheriff because i guess suddenly no one has cellphones.  jughead and betty return with the sheriff later to find the car has been light up by an unknown person. almost immediately after, bughead tries to rescue polly at the institution only to find she’s already bailed. welp.

josie and valerie make up and all four pussycats perform. josie’s dad walks out on her performance? harsh. cool dad moves.

archie sings and the crowd loves it. who gives a shit.

a kid died, guys. come on.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Meeting Roman Godfrey

Chapter 2

Warning: cursing.

Author notes: establishing these two dynamic. The calm before the storm if you will. Lol.

“I can honestly say that I’m jealous.” Roman mumbled as he stared in wonder at myr Uncles’ home. Walking around touching the original furnishings, and admiring the extensive art collection that was everywhere you looked, in some form or another.

My uncles home had been designed by famous architect frank lloyd wright and was dramatically built on top of a waterfall, giving it the suitable name of “Falling Water”. It was as famous for its genius design, as it was for being owned by a reclusive antisocial billionaire that didn’t allow journalists, photographers, architects or anyone for that matter near the home, let alone photograph it.

I think, the waterfall is annoying,the kitchen impractical,pretty much had no storage space, was constantly in need of some major renovation or repair, and was as close to living in a fish bowl you could get. I’d never admit any of those things out loud, because it truly was beautiful, but deep down I hated living in the famous home.

“I’m just shocked you drove all the way out here. I figured for sure you’d see how far it was and be like pass.” I said trying to draw some attention from the home.

“He recognized the address.” I spun around to find my Uncle standing by one of the homes many staircases.”hello Godfrey. I bet you’re beside yourself to finally have a look inside.”

“Absolutely, sir. It’s an absolute honor to be in your home.” Roman said politely.

I looked at him incredulously. He was known for being a pain in the ass and a brat, but maybe he was just smart and chose his battles. My uncle was as famous for being an asshole as he was for being a genius, but it seemed as though they knew eachother. “So I guess you two know eachother?” i asked. 

“Since i can remember. your Uncle loves to tell me to go fuck myself on the regular. Well not since I tried to buy this house right before....” Romn trailed off as he seemed to get lost in some distant memory...

“What happened to your cousin Letha?” My uncle asked. Strange for him to even ask personal questions, let alone remember names (even if it was my name too)

“Uncle! It might be polite to ask him how he is first...” I huffed.

“I dont care about his emotional state. I care about how a perfectly strong healthy girl died so suddenly and then it just went away.” he analyzed Romans reaction, but there was none. my Uncle liked to test people.

“brain or blood vessel burst in child labor. I was there. So much blood... then she was gone.

“Uncle!!! Are you seriously...”

“No need to defend me Letha.” Roman interjected with a pleasant smile, “your Uncle is one of my favorite people.”

“Did I ever tell you how not just one, but two women ended up with your terrible name?” he asked me with one of his mischevious smiles. “in Greek it translates to forgetful, and considering you’re not forgetful in the least its ironic. Marie and your mother both hated Olivia, and bonded over that mutual hate. Marie was so taken by your others charms, she named Letha after you the following day.”

I looked over to Roman and he was staring into me. i glanced away to my Uncle, who was watching Roman wth a strange smile on his face. He was acting kind of strange, even for him. I’d better get Roman out of here before he hates me. 

“. Come on out here with me and we can chat you two. Letha grab me a ginger ale and get Roman a water since he’s driving.” my Uncle ordered.

I agreed and hurried to the kitchen and watched in curiosity as the two notoriously difficult business tycoons seemed to be enjoying one another  out on the terrace.

I hadn’t planned on inviting Roman in, but he had been so obviously enamored by the famous home, that i couldn’t refuse when he’d politely asked to see it. Normally a guy asking to see inside was a question with shady intentions, but the pure wonder on his face had proven otherwise.

Now i didn’t even know what to think about my Uncle being his version of kind to Roman. Uncle hated visitors. I wasn’t totally sure how much he liked me even. I felt like I was in some alternate reality 

I grabbed the drinks, put them on this fancy tray and carried them out to the terrace. It was just nearly dusk and this was one of the prettiest times to see the house, when it was all lit up like a lone lantern in the thick forest with the dramatic waterfalls, and otherworldly feel. 

It was kind of silly that the house was the view, instead of the house having a view. And ironically, the house was so hidden away on 1700 acres up a long winding road, behind a massive gate, with full time security, that nobody really ever got to view it.. Uncle has grown tired of people just showing up or seeing flashes in the woods, so he hired this crazy security company to keep everyone out and monitor all the borders. Hardly anyone ever made it thru now. It was private, but extremely isolated and lonely.

“I’m surprised you’d take interest in Letha.” My uncle said, eyes narrowing obviously oblivious I was right behind them. I held my breath and didn’t move a muscle. I wanted to hear this.

“Why? She’s a beautiful girl.” Roman chuckled.

My heart warmed and stomach fluttered a bit. OH HELL NO Letha. Keep that shit in check.Hes gorgeous, and tall, and sexy, and charmng, and smelled nice, and could hold his own with your uncle, but hes also famous for bedding every woman in his path.... 

“Frankly her breasts are too big for my taste, they seem like a handicap more than an asset, but that’s trivial and shallow. She’s too smart and she doesn’t listen for shit.”

“I had noticed that actually...” Roman said thoughtfully.

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

I cleared my throat, so I didnt hear anything else wrong with me. “Drinks guys.”

Roman hopped up to help me but I signaled him to sit, as I served them their beverages. I could feel his eyes on me, but was careful not to look at him and notice.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” My uncle said. I was gonna punch him in the face, hes such an ass! god I love him.

I burst out laughing and looked at Roman who was 3 shades redder and forcing an uncomfortable smile.He isnt that cool, he does get embarrassed, thats better.

My Uncle started to laugh but winced. “Ouch. Shit. Fucking neck.” He cursed as he was reminded laughing wasn’t allowed yet. He hardly ever did laugh so it wasn’t really an issue normally.

“You’re my favorite person in the world Uncle.” I meant it too. He’s always been there for me, and when I heard he’d hurt himself and may need my help, I dropped everything, hopped in my car and drove the nearly 3000 miles to his house.

It’d taken nearly a whole day to get permission to pass the guards. They were new and usually my uncle came to see me. I’d only been to this house one time when I had graduated high school more than a few years ago. With me going to University, my uncle no longer had to live in the city, so he came here.. Something about the house and town was unsettling to me.

“Well considering the competition, it’s not much of a compliment.” My uncle said dryly. “One day you two should compare notes and see which one of your mothers is the more despicable creature.”

“Is it ok if I take Roman on a little nature walk so he can see the house in all its glory?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna go to sleep shortly but no hanky panky you two.” He said with a mischievous grin.

Now it was my turn to be red. I turned to Roman and he was already up by my side. I took his hand and walked to the floating stairs that led to the ground floor. I was sure to walk slowly so he could take in all the house had to offer.

“Beautiful.” Roman said under his breath.

“Oh my gosh I know! Can you believe they built this out in the middle of nowhere in 1935? Can you imagine? And it hasn’t been cheap or easy keeping it perfect like this. A few years ago they had to rip half the house apart and reinforce it because the terraces were sagging. Uncle spent like 11 million dollars that time on engineers and architects and materials. He was not letting it go, and I don’t even think the whole house is worth that, but when he likes something, not hell nor high water can change his mind.”

“I wasn’t talking about the house, although good to know.” He smiled at me almost shyly.

“Are you trying to be adorable? You aren’t shy, and yet you’re acting almost sweet.”

“You’re so weird. You just spit out whatever you’re thinking don’t you?” Roman challenged me. Super cocky confident Roman returning.

“Omg you’re a peacock. Look at you preening about, puffing up your chest.”

“A peacock? Really? What does that make you?”

I had to think about that for a moment.”I’d have to go with a honey badger I think.” I said.

Roman choked on his water. I pat him on the back, giving him a moment to catch his breath. “Why is that such a shock?”

“No reason.” He tried to look innocent but I could see thru his shit. “Why did you choose it?”

“Well I’m resourceful, fearless, I don’t listen, I prefer my own company, no one can keep me contained, and snakes don’t intimidate me.”

“Ya?” Roman got very close to me and wrapped his arms around me looking down through long lashes. He oozed sex appeal and I could see how all the girls fell all over him.

I reached up and booped his nose. “Boop.” I giggled hysterically at his facial expression.

“What was that?” He asked confusedly.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. No one has ever booped you in the nose? That’s crazy! You have the best looking nose I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve never gotten that one.”

“Well that’s cuz most women are probably trying to be sexy and mysterious with you. theyre not being themselves. Boop. Ok last one. Sorry. I barely know you, I can’t go booping you all over the place on our first date, you’re a nice Christian boy...” I said sarcastically. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him along the way. “We are almost there and it’s getting dark. We don’t wanna get eaten out here or have to kill something.”

i looked back and Roman was genuinely smiling. I felt warm all over, I looked t our hands intertwined and was puzzled with the feeeling i felt. i looked back at Roman and he was looking at our hands too...

We walked along in happy silence until we reached the rocks across the lake and waterfalls from the house. I was wearing Converse, but his dress shoes were proving to be less than nature friendly. We finally got up the slick stairs cut into the stone to reach the sitting area, after a lot of effort and laughs. They were the worst shoes for this environment ever.

Upon seeing the house, Roman audibly gasped. He took a few steps ahead and I just admired his profile and form. He really was beautiful. I knew he was going to kiss me before the night was thru. I knew better than to trust this boy, and I knew this was really stupid and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was completely enthralled and was going to see it through. I didnt half ass anything, and i wasnt going to start with him.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Roman said playfully.

My eyes flashed at him trying to tell me what to do. I lowered my head and looked up at him thru my lashes with a sneer.

 “Hey hold on, that’s my trick! We can’t BOTH have intense sexy stares.” he walked over and casually grabbed me around the waist.

“Good thing mine is just evil then.” I said in my best creepy witch voice.

He burst out laughing, eyes shining. It was a genuine laugh. I could tell by the way he instantly tried to control it, that it didn’t happen often.He tried to be so intimidating and serious, but there was a warmth to him, just under the surface.

“You’re a nerd.” He said quietly. 

Oh boy here we go. He’s gonna try this again. My mind was running 1000 miles a minute as I tried to decide whether I was going to let this happen, when all of a sudden it was too late. His lips were on me as he pulled me into a deep embrace. If I was the type to get caught up in a moment, this would be that moment. He smelled amazing, and tasted so sweet. I felt gum in his mouth with my tongue and I snatched it. I pulled away victorious and mock screamed like a roaring crowd, jogging in a circle arms raised.

“You did not just steal my gum.” He beamed at me, chasing me and catching me in his arms before slipping and pulling me down on top of him, wincing at the impact. 

i hovered over him laughing hysterically. “grace and beauty,” i teased. “ No gum is safe when I’m around.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet and then back to the stairs. “Time to go on the date I have planned for us.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked genuinely shocked. “You planned out a date?”

“I did. And I have a feeling, you’re going to love it giiiirrrlll!” We both were giggling like school kids as we made our way back to the house.

I looked up to see my Uncle watching us from his terrace, a worried look on his face. That was kind of odd, but this was Roman Godfrey for chrissake.

I obnoxiously kissed my hand with a big “muah!” And threw it at my uncle who ducked like he was really avoiding getting hit.

“You nearly got me that time.” He yelled down to me.

I laughed and waved goodbye as we walked around the house to Romans Mercedes G wagon.

“Do you know why this suv is so expensive?” I asked him.

“It’s a Mercedes.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Although that’s part of it, these are built by hand and take over 40 hours buy two master craftsman to build. They have all the top-of-the-line materials used as well as three locking differentials. It’s the only one in its class with that so it’s superior for off-road Ing especially with the all wheel drive. Add that with superior safety and brand reliability and you have a very expensive, amazing machine. And since you of course have the AMG, you have to add two more craftsman to its build to hand build its engine that’s a mechanical marvel in itself.”

“You know more about my car than me. “ he laughed.

“It’s no big deal, I just never forget something once I’ve read it.”

“Never? I understand your ironic name now”

“Nope. It’s a blessing and a curse. I get it from my Uncle I guess.”

“That’s impressive.” He said sincerely. “I better never lie to you.”

I looked at him and our eyes locked. We stood there eyes locked on one another, neither of us wanting to be the first to look away. A smile crept across his face and i did an exaggerated silly wink.

“You are full of surprises Ms. Letha... what is your last name? Same as your Uncle?

“Nope. My last name is Dahl although I’d love to change it. Not a fan of my father. 

“Oh? Family drama Letha Dahl?’

“You have no idea.” I winked and got in the passenger side before he could reach the door and open it for me. I watched him walk around to the drivers seat and stop to read a message and reply. He scanned thru his phone and slipped it in his pocket. He climbed in and pushed the button to start the car. I went to the navigation and entered the address of our destination and pressed start.

I looked out the window analyzing my thoughts and emotions with scientific precision, first identifying the particular emotions and then assessing where there root was, before filing them away as solved. This was how I regulated thoughts and feelings, so they never got the best of me but this time there were emotions, I had no name for and there was nothing logical about them. I’d dated and even had boyfriends, but I’d never been this absolutely enamored by a man. i felt .... God, what was it?

Roman Godfrey was way cooler than me, but I was smarter, but for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if that was an advantage. I had never let emotion take the wheel, but i almost wanted to. I wanted to be lost in this tragic gorgeous boy.

[sparklebitch]

Brave Face (Langst)

Summary: Lance and Keith watch a scary movie together. It’s scarier than they expected.

A/N: This is one of the fics that I originally wrote for patreon, but since I recently had to close my patreon because I don’t have that much time to write lately I’ve been reposting them all here so that you guys can read them! 

Trigger warnings are posted in the tags.

“O- oh, hey” Lance said when he stepped into the common room. It was already the middle of the night, so Lance had expected the room to be empty. So, when Lance found Keith sitting on the middle of the room he was understandable surprised.

Keith looked up from the laptop in front of him in surprise. “Hey” he said, clearly just as surprised as Lance that someone was in there at the late hour. Keith had a blanket wrapped snugly around him and pulled over his head, so only his face and a tuft of hair was peeking out. Lance pinched his lips together, trying not to laugh. He’d never seen Keith like this before. So… relaxed.

“What’cha doin’?” Lance asked. Keith looked slightly embarrassed as he readjusted the blanket on his shoulders.

“Uh, Pidge fixed their laptop charger, so it can connect to the castle’s power” Keith said, turning the laptop toward Lance slightly. “They offered to let me use it, so I could have a- a night off from training. You know, to relax” Lance saw a flash of red on the screen as some poor teenage was gutted by a masked man. Lance made a face and leaned away.

“Wh- what are you watching?” Keith laughed shortly.

“All Pidge has is horror movies. Pidge has a- well their movie taste is really… bloody” Keith pulled the blanket lower over his eyes and turned back to the laptop. It illuminated his nose, which was the only part of Keith’s face that was visible.

“Wow, I never would’ve guessed” Lance said seriously. He didn’t know what types of movies Pidge watched, but this was nowhere near on the list. Lance hovered awkwardly near the edge of the couch. He didn’t know what to do. He knew he couldn’t go back to bed, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep, but obviously he didn’t want to intrude on Keith’s movie night. “Uh, well, have- have fun with your movie” Lance said, tapping his knuckles against the back of the couch. He hesitated for another second before turning.

“L- Lance…” Keith stuttered. Lance paused. “Do you… wanna join me?” Lance’s eyes brightened. Keith’s words literally put a bounce in Lance’s step.

“Yeah! Totally!” Lance exclaimed excitedly. “J- just let me uh grab a blanket. You look really… comfy” Lance said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. Keith turned and smiled shyly at Lance. Lance nearly stumbled backward in shock. He’d never seen Keith smile like that. If it wasn’t so blindingly adorable it would be almost… creepy.

“Okay” Keith said in a small voice.

Lance was back in the common room in his pajamas and with a fluffy blue blanket draped around his shoulders. Lance settled on the floor, leaning his back against the couch. Keith had started the movie over.

“This movie’s really gross” Keith warned.

“What’s the story?” Lance asked as the title flashed across the screen. He hadn’t had much time to hang out with Keith lately. He was eager to get some time alone with him.

“Uh, there’s two teens in the woods and also a murder. Then… they die” Keith said slowly. “Either one of them fakes their death and is secretly the murderer or… the murderer just happens to look just like the kid who dies. The plot’s really hard to follow” Lance snorted as he settled down.

“Sounds fun” Lance commented. “I don’t watch a lot of horror movies” he said idly as a shadowy figure stalked across the screen.

“Me either” Lance glanced at Keith out of the corner of his eye.

“What kind of movies do you watch?” he asked. The movie focused on two teens walking up to a cabin in the woods.

“Mm I don’t watch movies that much” Keith shrugged. Lance sighed internally and tried to focus on the movie. Clearly Keith didn’t want to have a conversation. “But… I like funny movies” Keith admitted after a few seconds. Lance turned toward him. Keith pressed his lips together as his gaze flicked to Lance’s.

“Really? Me too!” Lance exclaimed. “Those and cheesy rom-coms” Lance’s attention was drawn to the screen as a loud scream rang out, followed by a loud noise. Lance jumped and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

Both of them fell silent after that, completely forgetting about conversation. Throughout the movie the two of them began slowly inching together, until their shoulders were pressed together. At some point Lance pulled the blanket over his head mirroring Keith. It felt safer that way.

By the time the credits were rolling every hair on Lance’s body was standing up, and his heart was pounding. Keith wasn’t doing much better.

“Pidge… watches these” Keith whispered breathlessly.

“That was…” Lance shook his head. “Fuck. What the hell is wrong with them? Pidge is a child” As the credits came to an end the screen went black and then suddenly the shadowy figure popped on the screen, startling both boys. Keith let out a scream as he slammed down the screen of the laptop.

“I’m- I’m going to bed. This room feels to exposed” Keith stuttered as he climbed to his feet. Lance did as well. “Goodnight” Keith turned and started to walk away. “I, uh, had a good time” he said before he was through the door. Lance barely had time to appreciate it before he heard a weird creaking noise and fled the room as well. Lance raced to his room and slammed his door. He let out a breath and then got ready for bed.

Lance had barely laid his head down when he thought back to the movie. Every time he closed his eyes he saw red. Knives slashing through bodies, masked monsters lurking in the shadows, waiting to jump out and STRIKE—

Lance jumped out of bed and turned the light on before diving back under his covers. He probably wasn’t going to sleep at all.

~   ~

It wasn’t twenty minutes before Lance heard a knock at his door. It scared Lance more than he was willing to admit. Lance spent a few seconds deliberating whether or not to answer it, but then he heard a voice.

“Lance? Are you up?” It was Keith. “Open the door” Lance jumped out of bed and ran to the door and yanked it open. Keith barreled into the room, Lance closing the door behind him.

“What are you doing?” Lance whispered. He didn’t know why he was whispering, it just felt appropriate. Keith was still wrapped up in his blanket, but now it was draped around his shoulders. He was hugging it to himself protectively.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t sleep. We’re you… Fuck were you sleeping? I’m so sorry” Keith said, his face dropping in surprise. Lance let out a short laugh.

“Believe me, I wasn’t sleeping” he said. “I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again after that… that movie” he shivered. Keith glanced around the room.

“I was, um, I was just… I was wondering- I mean, ah—” Keith’s face turned red in embarrassment. Lance bit back a smile and took pity on him.

“Keith do you want to sleep in here with me?” he asked, saving him from further embarrassment. Keith nodded, not saying anything. “We can, uh, at least try and get some sleep if you want. I doubt we’ll get much but…” Keith nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds good” The two of them awkwardly climbed into the bed. There was barely room for the two of them to lay side by side, but they made it work. Lance had to admit he did feel safer with Keith in the room with him. “Are you going to leave the light on?” Keith asked after they both got settled. Lance hesitated.

“I- I can shut them off” he offered. Keith’s eyes widened, and he shook his head.

“No. L- leave it on” he said meekly.

“Yeah, the dark is terrifying to me now” Lance said. Keith laughed breathily, relaxing slightly. “I’m never turning the lights of again. Ever”

“It was a good movie though” Keith said.

“Such a good movie!” Keith exclaimed. “In theory it sounds so stupid, but it was incredible! And those special effects? Amazing! They were so realistic!”

“Gross, but amazing” Lance said. Keith laughed.

“Yeah, gross but amazing” Lance rolled onto his side, so he was facing Keith, who was laying on his back.

“Hey,” Lance suddenly propped himself on his elbow. “Can I ask you a question?” Keith turned his head toward Lance and nodded. “Why were you watching that movie in the living room?” Lance asked. He had been thinking it for a while. It didn’t make sense.

“What?” Keith asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I mean, you could’ve watched it in your room or- or a room that no one uses” he pointed out.

“Am I not allowed to use the common room?” Keith asked. Lance shook his head.

“N- no, that’s not what I meant. Like- you know that no on would interrupt you if you were in your room or somewhere else. If you really wanted some time alone then…” Keith’s face flushed.

“I- um- uh—” Keith pulled the blanket up to his nose. “Promise you won’t tell anyone this?” he asked, his voice muffled through the blanket. Lance lowered himself back onto the bed, so he could hear Keith better.

“I- I promise” Lance breathed. Keith’s eyes flittered around nervously, not staying on anything for longer than a moment.

“I was sitting there because… I was hoping that- that someone would…” Keith trailed off, his eyes landing on Lance’s hand, which was laying on the bed between them.

“You wanted someone to join you?” Lance provided, his heart skipping a beat. Keith’s blush deepened.

“Uh, yeah” he said slowly. “It’s just… you know. I train a lot and… I don’t have like a lot of free time to- to hang out with people or anything. It gets… I get lonely sometimes” Keith said meekly. Lance’s heart melted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lance asked softly. “I could’ve- We- We could’ve” Keith smiled and closed his eyes.

“Nah, it’s fine” Keith said.

“You don’t have to—” Lance let out a yawn. “You don’t have to do this- any of this- alone” Lance said, waving his hand. When he dropped it back onto the bed it landed on top of Keith’s hand. Neither of them moved. “We’re a team” Lance said. His eyes drooped with sleepiness. Keith knew that Lance was likely to forget all of this in the morning. It was nearly morning already. “We’ll always be here for you” Keith gnawed on his lip. “Is- is there anything else…?”

“I just…” Keith lowered his voice. In that moment, Keith let his brave face slip. He put down the armor that he had worked so hard to keep on. For a moment, a brief moment Keith let it all fall. “I’ve never been good at connecting with people” Keith began. Lance’s finger twitched, brushing against Keith’s. “Even as a kid I just… didn’t get it. I wasn’t good at it. I thought that maybe there was just something wrong with me”

“There’s nothing wrong with you” Lance said fervently. Keith focused his eyes on Lance’s hand which was half intertwined with his own.

“Just… sometimes you know?” Keith said, his voice soft. “Everyone here has someone. Everyone has their own group and I’m left alone. I’m not blaming you—” Keith clarified. “And I know that I’m probably just overreacting, and part of it’s my fault. I isolate myself and I’m not always the easiest person to get along with”

“Keith… there’s nothing wrong with you” Lance interrupted what was quiet possibly the longest uninterrupted string of words that he had ever heard Keith say. “You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. You’re brave. You’re hard working. You’re amazing at motivating people. You’re considerate. You put other people’s needs over your own. You’re crazy intense, in a good way” Keith laughed quietly and hid his face. “I’m serious! And you’re kind, you know, when you want to be” Lance joked. “I appreciate you for everything you are. And I wish you had told me that you felt this way. No one should have to feel like that” he said. Keith ducked his head, hiding his blush. Lance’s words were affecting him more than he thought they would. No one had said such nice things to him in a long time.

“Lance… I- Thank you” he said breathlessly, not knowing what else to say. There was nothing he could say that could convey how he really felt. Lance’s eyes were warm and bright as they connected with Keith’s.

“I promise that you’ll never feel that way again” Lance swore. “In fact, you’re going to be the opposite of lonely” Lance paused to yawn. “I’m going to be around you so much you’re going to be even more annoyed of me than you already are” Keith smiled sleepily.

“You don’t annoy me” he said honestly.

“Oh” Lance said simply. The two of them fell silent for a few moments.

“Thank you. For saying all that” Keith breathed. He could feel the exhaustion clawing at the back of his mind. It had to be nearly morning.

“Mmhm” Lance mumbled. Keith closed his eyes, letting Lance’s words rush over him again. His chest swelled with emotions. The mix of sleepiness and vulnerability were making Keith feel strange.

“Lance… I don’t know how to say this but, I- I think that I’m fa—” Keith peeked his eyes open and saw that Lance had fallen asleep. He was snoring softly, his chest rising and falling. Keith let out a small sigh. His gaze softened. An emotion that Keith couldn’t identify filled his chest. He loosened his grip on Lance’s hand and slowly pulled it away. “Good night, Lance” he breathed.

A few minutes later Keith drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

~   ~   ~

| Other fics | Ko-fi |

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, chapters 6-13 [the rest of Epilogue 2]

I’m told that there are 40 chapters, and a postscript, in Candy - and also that it’s split into 8 individual ‘epilogues’ within that, of varying length. ‘Epilogue 2′ began with chapter 4, featuring Rose and Kanaya. So I kind of cut it off in exactly the wrong place. Oops!

Anyway I’m going to split these up by Epilogue section from now on. This one covers the rest of Epilogue 2, which mostly concerns shipping, and processing of feelings.

Here are the irons in the fire at the outset of chapter 6:

Gamzee is back! he claims to be setting out on a ‘redemption arc’

Terezi is in space somewhere looking for Vriska, but set to return at some point, and not all that happy that Gamzee’s back

Dirk has perceived some bad news. And briefly spoken about it with Jane, though without explaining anything.

But that’s all Epilogue 1 stuff - old hat!

Rose has suddenly recovered from her illness, and is patching things up with Kanaya

Jade has attempted to push Dave and Karkat to admit they’re into each other, but really just made things worse

Jane attempted to run for President of Earth C - to the trepidation of the Karkat, who hyperbolically suggested this would amount to troll genocide - but abandoned the idea

That’s all interesting but let’s talk about money! This is something I didn’t pick up on in the last post:

KARKAT: OK, SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOUR PRIORITIES ARE: NUMBER ONE, THE ECONOMY, WHICH LET ME REMIND YOU IS BUILT ENTIRELY ON INFINITE, FAKE MONEY THAT WE CAN MAKE AS MUCH OF AS WE WANT.

Elsewhere, Jane’s megacorp and stocks are mentioned.

One wonders why, given the machinery to manufacture just about anything by means of alchemizer, the forms of money, stocks, and corporations are retained... what sort of productive and reproductive labour is regulated and mediated by these markets? Or are they merely acting out the vestigial forms of capitalism as a bizarre drama...

As for the consequences of an infinite money supply, let’s not get into the ‘modern monetary theory’ debate on a Homestuck post, maybe.

on to chapter 6+

This is a Jane chapter. It opens almost immediately with economic discussion; Dave apparently once accused Jane of ‘neoliberal corporate welfare’ for trying to bolster the ‘struggling locksmith industry’ rendered unnecessary on a planet without crime.

She’s visiting Jake, who’s probably my least favourite Homestuck character (who’s not an alpha troll). About Dirk... Jake (Jane says) seems to still have a bit of a thing for him, and Jane, meanwhile, still “has no idea why she can’t get [Jake] out of her system, even after all these years.”

The reason Jane cancelled her run was, it turns out, because Dirk said ‘cancel everything’. She gets drunk, very quickly... and hits on Jake, who is completely oblivious to her advances. She speaks of wanting to abandon business to raise a family, which Jake himself notes is something rather new for her (though the whole traditional gender thing she does isn’t lol)

Jake/Jane isn’t a ship I have any sort of opinion about, honestly. Dirk/Jake’s terrible collapsing relationship was kind of interesting but yeah, here’s a thing. What even are heterosexuals though? “I want to clean your giant house and have a lot of children”... incomprehensible!

One thing I will give credit for is the narration: it creates pretty strong images of like, these characters as fully embodied people, being intimate in like, subtle physical ways. that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense... whatever lol. it works

chapter 7

...brings us back to Gamzee. fittingly, i’m listening to the friendsim soundtrack as i read this, and i just hit ‘take me to clown church’.

anyway since this whole story basically seems to be an exercise in developing ships along the lines of ‘A is into B, B is obvious to their advances’... Roxy’s hot for John now I guess? or at least, so Callie thinks. she insists they’re all going to be ‘very, very happy’ despite her disappointment.

anyway, then we get Gamzee saying a bunch of casually misogynist stuff to John about Roxy. in this context, basically two interpretations are shown: a shallow ‘oh he’s redeemed now’ attitude from Roxy and Callie, and a ‘oh god i hate this person keep him away from me’ attitude from John. Gamzee’s repulsive qualities are underlined by the narration (from John’s perspective): he’s unhygienic, he’s casually misogynist (which seems like a new element, and rather out of keeping with the gendered-but-somehow-theoretically-not-patriarchal Alternia)...

chapter 8

Rose and Kanaya chapter. Jane’s possible presidency is once again the subject of discussion. Jane apparently wanted to apply some kind of anti-troll eugenics policy, and tried to bring Kanaya on board - and got told to fuck off for it. Our two good lesbians agree that, if Karkat were president (and Dave running the economy), things might have worked out ok...

We are briefly introduced to a new character, a jadeblood troll called Swifer Eggmop. Her character archetype, we are directly told, is ‘1920s newsboy’.

We bear witness to an egg hatching (in prose, anyway). This particular baby grub out closely resembling Vriska... which Kanaya says is because she comes from a slurry based on the original 12 trolls. Rose notes this would make Vriska the troll’s Ancestor, which raises an interesting question of whether Ancestors still exist as a social concept on Earth C. Anyway, Kanaya wants to adopt baby Vriska, which can only be a fantastic idea...

KANAYA: There Are Two Things Of Which I Have No Doubt

KANAYA: That You And I Are Going To Be Happy For The Rest Of Our Lives

KANAYA: And That We Are Never Ever Going To See Vriska Again

I think we can safely assume that neither of those things are true. The emphasis on ‘happiness forever’, voiced by multiple characters, is interesting... also the turn towards reproduction.

I went to uni with people who have kids now. Heck I have friends who have a child (who they are trying to spare from gender)... but for most of my social circle, which is to say almost entirely 20-to-30-something trans women, even the idea of adopting is incomprehensible? It’s somehow weird to think of ‘wanting kids’ as the narrative of 20-something year olds...

Kanaya is right. Vriska is dead, and despite everything, she died a hero. Vriska was a complicated figure of contrasting extremes; her heroic actions were matched in scale only by her monstrous ones, and since no one had actually witnessed her end, it was impossible to say which side the pendulum swung and judged her death—Heroic or Just.

It would be a fitting memorial for her and Kanaya to raise a version of Vriska who would be given every chance to make good on her noble characteristics. A true, symbolic redemption arc. Something about the thought appeals to Rose’s taste for the dramatic flourish. It would be proof that this was all worth it in the end: the destruction of multiple universes, the death of Kanaya’s friends, the circuitous rites of suffering experienced by the nearly infinite splintered versions of every being to inhabit Paradox Space...  

Once again, the notion of a ‘redemption arc’ enters the narrative explicitly, directly echoing fandom discussion. Unlike Gamzee, this is studiously neutral on the Vriska Question: steering exactly between ‘Vriska did nothing wrong’, nor ‘Vriska is a monster’. Regardless... I think it’s probably safe to say that everyone’s prophecies are wrong and we haven’t seen the last of the ‘true’ Vriska.

chapter 9

More of Jade trying very hard to ship her friends, to the discomfort of everyone involved. Jade kisses Karkat, and Karkat explicitly names what she’s doing as sexual assault, a violation of boundaries and consent - Jade attempts to convince him that no, it was really Dave who kissed him!

This prompts a long monologue from Dave in which it’s obvious that he has put some thought into kissing Karkat. Point seems to be: they sure are into each other but Jade’s intervention is not at all welcome. At least I hope that’s the point. I would prefer not to see Jade vindicated by the narrative.

Anyway, other things of cultural note: grub spaghetti is apparently still eaten on Earth C. I always thought it was implied that ‘grubs’ in Troll food were like, actual troll babies, but maybe they’re just ordinary (for certain values thereof...) bugs bc I don’t think Kanaya would stand for that.

chapter 10

The ‘Jane running for president’ subplot has largely disappeared, because what we’re really here for is... shipping! This time, a John/Roxy chapter. I think they call it Roxygen or something? Terezi explains the ‘pair the spares’ logic of the ship (dequirkified):

TEREZI: Um, yeah John.

TEREZI: We are not idiots. We can all do the math on this.

TEREZI:  It’s not like you were going to fuck your human mom or human sister.

TEREZI: And you are “not a homosexual,” which takes Strider dick out of the equation.

TEREZI: And Kanaya is the only girl troll left, and she lesbian married one of the two remaining eligible human females.

TEREZI: Oh and Jake is a double threat. A human dad with a human dick!

TEREZI: So by a process of elimination, of *course* you were going to “fall in love” with Roxy.

Equation of ‘dick’ with ‘male’ there terezi but whatever... (god is this fic going to get into the question of what a ‘nook’ and a ‘bulge’ is...)

(lol i’m calling it a fic...)

Anyway, my position on this one is: Roxy/Calliope was a fine ship worth upholding, and I do not see any reason why anyone would be into John. Though I may be biased on that front.

Terezi also brings up the Calliope question. John is trepidatious on that front.

There’s an interesting line from Roxy here, when John tries to assure her she doesn’t have to wear makeup:

ROXY: john...

ROXY: do u ever think about like

ROXY: gender???

JOHN: ???

JOHN: uh. not really, i guess?

JOHN: but i don’t think girls should feel like they HAVE to wear makeup just because they’re girls.

ROXY: lol

ROXY: thats not what im getting at

JOHN: what do you mean then?

JOHN: are you, like...

ROXY: like what

This is where I’m conscious of the ‘trans character’ tag on this one.

They talk about adulthood, as a performance that they do not feel ‘ready’ for. At that point Dave shows up, clearly aflustered after Jade’s intervention:

DAVE: anyone can be a dude if they really want thats part of the beauty of living in this brand new world with none of the baggage our old world had like gender and sexuality and relationships only involving a very specific number of people

chapter 11

So yeah now to pick up the torch on Dave starting to understand he’s gay. here for this

DAVE: theres a metric fucking ton of shit about to come down on me because i dragged my heels on doing some serious self reflection

JOHN: is this just some more stuff about...

JOHN: being gay?

DAVE: maybe yeah

DAVE: ok definitely yeah

DAVE: its 110% about being gay

JOHN: i thought you’d already worked all that stuff out?

DAVE: turns out it takes a long time to figure out your sexuality after a childhood filled with repression and abuse

nice to see it named as such i guess

the dialogue in the last couple of chapters has been really good. i’m getting properly drawn into this, the characters feel extremely well-realised. threads which were long latent are finally being made explicit.

Dave is struggling with very abrupt self-realisation: he definitely has feelings for Karkat, he has complicated feelings for Jade, but the ‘simple’ solution of just entering a non-mono relationship both is not feeling ‘right’ to him. John isn’t really able to help... he’s gonna talk to Dirk.

This chapter does a lot, I really like it, but at the same time I’ve not got a tremendous amount to add to it.

chapter 12

in our latest chapter of ‘homestuck but they fuck now’, Jake and Jane did that - while up on various substances, including at least alcohol and the trickster lollipop. Jake is having second thoughts but when he tries to back out, Jane looks sad, so he decides to go for it. This can only end well.

Also damn I guess someone on the team thought ‘what would it be like to fuck while high on the trickster lollipop’ so uh, that’s a thing now.

chapter 13

Back to the Strider boys. There’s a heavy intro...

Dave and Dirk don’t talk that much about the heavy stuff. They don’t need to. Dave can hear his brother’s voice in his head.

Not, like, literally. That would be insane. But Dave knows what his bro is like. Dirk, or a version of him, instilled in Dave a way of living and thinking that would, for better or worse, persist far beyond the first thirteen years of his upbringing.

Yeah huh.

Can’t believe Rose and Kanaya have the dubious honour of being the most ‘together’ characters in this.

Anyway in this case Dave still feels like he needs to talk to Dirk - who we know has gone awol, for some mysterious reason. He meets... Gamzee, who says some religious clown stuff, and offers Dave a redemption arc (really running this joke into the ground huh), but Dave brushes him off. Then he finds a fembot that Dirk was working on, with a note.

We don’t get to read the note yet. I would guess that’s the end of epilogue 2.

Sure enough it is.

Epilogue 2, taken as a whole

I quite enjoyed this, Gamzee sections notwithstanding. The prose is tight, the dialogue is hitting its flow, and a lot of relationships that were left vague in Homestuck proper are finally being given time to develop.

Obviously it’s kind of risky bringing in explicitly sexual themes, but I think they approach them in the ‘right’ way: focusing on the emotional meaning of relationships that now might - now we’re dealing with 23-year-olds - include sex, rather than just porn lol. It does slightly strain credibility that, in all their time on Earth C, none of them have made any meaningful friendships or relationships outside the core group of 8 kids and a handful of surviving trolls, but I can also understand the desire to focus on the already-developed characters. That’s a common problem for ‘endgame’ ships: in truth dating exclusively within a tiny friendship group is probably a recipe for disaster, but in fiction it makes a work manageable.

I am enjoying just how gay Homestuck has gotten. If Homestuck is the comic for Very Online kids who were around 13 in 2009 when the comic began, it’s somewhat fitting, because our cohort has, at least to a degree, done the same thing lol. Of course, that’s shaped by my personal experience of like, transitioning and moving to a friendship group that’s like 99% trans lesbians and bi women, but I suspect statistics would bear out the idea that more and more people are comfortable identifying ourselves as not-straight in some way. I could be wrong about that though lol.

Of course, it’s too much to hope that this trend - insofar as it exists! - is like, the beginning of the end for Gender as a system of social relations, violent exploitation and coercion - especially since periods of ‘more acceptance’ often seem to precede violent repression (c.f. Weimar Germany and then, the nazis; the period just before the AIDS crisis; much earlier, the construction of colonial/modern gender in the first place on the bones of less rigid gender systems...)

Anyway, let’s see what’s happened to old Dirk. I’m still wondering who the “trans character” is going to be, and how they’re going to handle that. It’s going to be tough to match fic like @rememberwhenyoutried‘s An Earth-Shattering Confession, but we shall see.

[pyrogenetic]

--{What do you have.

(( Disclaimer: this was written in 2013, and takes place even before saro’s blog was made, and given a few edits to make it less horrifying to read but was mostly left in its original state. I deleted it previously on accident but wanted to put it back on saro’s blog because it was an important turning point for her character. so here you go! ))

You had no concept of humanity.

What was the point? That was all you could really think, watching him, sitting there, useless, the both of you in that filthy alleyway as he withered away. It’d been three days since he came through that portal with you. Three days since you’d dragged him from that hellish wasteland of silence and metal trees, introduced yourself, and got told that unless you found some way to awaken him, to give him some humanity, he wouldn’t live. He’d die as a pitiful husk. You still didn’t understand what that meant. What humanity, exactly? The kind you didn’’t have? Why you. Why now. Why him, a sliver of a barely living being slumped in front of you in that rainy, dank alley.

“Wake the fuck up! Come on, sunshine! Give me something, you pissant!” That’s what you’d screamed at him. It was in hopes that he’d maybe get up to at least fucking move out of the rain, so you didn’t have to carry him back before he caught his death.

He replied with more silence. Of course.

He was pallid, and monochrome, with long hair down to his skinny ass. He’s nothing but grey. He’s literally colorless. That’s what Bandas had said he’d look like. Until you did something about it. But what? You’d tried everything you know, you’d tried hugging him, albeit very reluctantly, and feeding him, and he just sat there hour after fucking hour with that same, mocking frown on his face and that same lifeless grey veil that covered him head to toe. His skin was chill to the bone. He wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink, wouldn’t talk. Hell, he barely even moved half the time, and you’d have to check to make sure he was still breathing.

What were you supposed to do? What did he want from you? This had gone on for three days. Since you dragged him by the wings out of that weird realm. The last thing he did was fight you. Nearly killed you actually, before he apparently decided to give up, and became the catatonic piece of shit that sat around with no purpose and no will to live in front of you. But, you couldn’t let him die. That would go against your personal policy. Starvation and dehydration were the worst ways to die in your opinion, you’d rather not see that happen.

So even now, as he’d pressed himself against the wall of the alley in the pouring rain, you felt something odd twist inside your stomach. It burned, in a dull, aching way. It felt like pity, but a deeper version of it. A kind that’d made you want to weep for him. Sympathy, perhaps? That was new. Not very pleasant either. You weren’t sure you wanted to experience this new feeling very much. Snapping out of your thoughts, you glared back at the sad sap on the ground before you.

“Enough screwing around, fuckass! Time to smell the fucking coffee! Get up! Come on!” You leaned down in his face, yelling again, your voice echoing against the damp walls of the empty alley. This time, you noticed minute response. A twitch of his nose as if he tried to snivel. Nice, so he’s a crybaby, too.

You took the opportunity to kneel in front of him. No response to that. Not a thing from him. Of course not. You took his face tenderly in your hands, being mindful of your claws.

--And you hit him smack in the mouth.

Nothing. That didn’t work at all, in fact it looked like the wanker bit his tongue too hard and it’d started bleeding. Great. You cursed to yourself as you opened his fanged mouth to check inside. It wasn’t too severe, a bite against the side of his cheek. Boo-hoo, he’d get over it. Maybe. Hopefully.

You were starting to think the tough approach isn’t going to work. What else could you do though? What else can you do. This was all you knew. You knew pain. Pain is human enough, right? Apparently not. Your panic wasn’t getting better. You didn’t want him to die. You really weren’t sure why, but you didn’t. You felt as if he died, something in you would die alongside him. You didn’t know what that something was, it might be something important like your liver, so you should really fix him. How? a voice echoed in your head.

You grew increasingly desperate as the rain soaked you to the core the longer you stood out in it like an idiot, shouting at this pathetic husk that couldn’t even feed himself. It was the brand of desperate that can only be described by the words that run through your head over and over. Bad bad bad bad bad. Don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die. How do you teach someone to be human? How do you teach them to be something that you so clearly were not?

How do you teach a person to be alive?

The rain began to pour harder as you leaned forward to do the most primal thing that came to you instinctually, even as an abomination of nature. You wrapped your arms around this drenched, sad creature. You tried to bury your face in his clammy shoulder which, like the rest of him, was cold as hell. The only reason it’s bare was because the clothes you chose for him practically fell off with how big they were against his thin figure. You stayed like that for a while. How long? That was between you and the rain. Your eyes started to sting a little during that time, though you weren’t sure why. Slowly, you realized your embrace was really doing nothing, even after you sat there and squeezed tighter. The only thing that greeted you in response was a tiny rasp of breath when you constricted him. Well. At least he’s breathing.

Finally, you loosened your grip. You pulled away only to realize there’s something warm, and moist bubbling up in your eyes. Your hand reached up to wipe some of it away, registering the liquid as tears instead of really weird rain that hit your eyes without you noticing.

Tears. Crying. You were crying.

Crying is human, right?

You followed the next logical course of action. You took some of those tears that were now making their way down your cheeks and mingling with the downpour, and you smudged them unceremoniously on the sides of his face. Very subtle. That should work, right? It has to. You’re tired. You being tired means this game is over, you’ve won, or have to win. You always won. If you don’t, everyone else loses because you quit and there can be no winner that’s not you. However, nothing was happening. He was still unresponsive. The only thing that’d changed was the fact he had your disgusting tears on his cheeks. That had to have worked. It had to, it wasn’t allowed not to from the minute you figured out you were crying. Yet, there he sat. What do you do? What could you do?

You had nothing else.

Now, you got angry again. It was an anger that made your throat clench, made you cry more, too, you noticed, as more tears started to prick your eyes in the same unfamiliar way. He should wake the fuck up already. Game’s over, bucko, you thought, unable to push the words through your strangled vocal chords. You needed to win now. You didn’t lose. You couldn’t lose. Except.

You had.

You’d lost because this was one game you couldn’t cheat, lie, or burn your way out of. You’d lost because all you were was a monster who couldn’t give anyone something of emotional or sentimental worth. Even this scrappy, unfeeling asshole could see that under all that fucking hair of his, that’s why he wasn’t responding. He knew what you were. The epiphany came to you as you grew more and more frustrated. You screeched and tugged at your ears so hard that the pain it brought shocked you out of your thoughts for a moment.

And you stopped. You sagged down where you were kneeling on the dirty, muddy ground. At that point you couldn’t care less about your clothes. Or his clothes. Or anyone’s clothes for that matter. You hoped this rain fucked over everyone without an umbrella, in fact. Right now, you wanted to cry like a child. The child you really were, deep down. You were crying like a child, actually. Your nose began running as you gazed up at him again with eyes that definitely weren’t wet from the rain. Your hand rose in a very deliberate motion to touch his cheek with just the tips of your tiny, sharpened claws. Finally, you whispered something you never thought you’d hear come out of your own mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

It came out cracked, and weak. It sounded very bizarre coming from you. However, there was an unmistakable tone of defeat in it. You knew when you’d been beaten. It’s about time, you thought, with your ass sliding to the ground. You pulled your knees to your chest. You hid your face in your hands like a mourning statue. A dreadful kind of shame filled you. You’d failed. This was how failure tasted. Knowing that you could kill without a second glance, and the one time you’d wanted to save someone, you’d failed. You destroyed. Not mended. Not helped. Destroyed. That was that.

Man, failure tasted gross.

There was no sound as you retreated into yourself. Even the rain seemed muffled around you. You sat there, your mind blank, next to a dying person. Not the first time that’d happened, though admittedly it’d never happened quite like this. The sadness inside you welled, a fresh batch of tears spilling over your cheeks. It was a profound sense of sorrow, strong enough that it was nearly warm, a hot feeling of shame in your stomach. You were so wrapped up in your grief, you didn’t see the strange light that silently flowed from you to the almost lifeless form across from you. The light flickered out as quickly as it came, with you none the wiser. It was followed by a brief shuffling noise, and something that sounded like someone gasping quietly, as if it was the first breath they’d taken in a very long time.

You elected to ignore the noises, too withdrawn at this point to pick yourself up and look. It grew silent again. Whoever had made the noise before seemed to say something, though you couldn’t tell what it was, or if it was even talking or not, but they promptly ceased. Then, something warm extended to you to touch your shoulder. It elicited an involuntary shiver from you. If that person killed you then and there, you probably deserved it. You didn’t fight back, despite your instincts screaming at you to try. The touching didn’t stop, but it didn’t start to hurt either. In fact, you heard more shuffling and there was more warmth touching you, holding you. It embraced you until you didn’t even feel the rain anymore, just the warmth of that stranger against you. Your mind made itself up for you, and your weary face lifted itself from the shroud of your hands to find an unfamiliar visage smiling back at it.

“Hello there, miss. My name is Markiin. Allow me to extend my sincerest apologies for keeping you waiting.”

[inadarkdarkroom]

The Haunted Staircase

Back in 2003 or so, I took a trip to Southeast Asia with my then-boyfriend, now-husband. We’d been together only for year or two at this point and this was the first time I was going to meet the extended family as well as visiting this country, so it was quite a big deal.

We flew to a city in the central region where his paternal grandmother lived. The hubbs seemed unusually nervous on the airplane which was odd as he’s not usually an anxious person. After we arrived and took a taxi for the hour-long drive into the city, he turned to me and warned me very seriously to not freak out, but his grandmother’s house was haunted.

I’m a huge fan of horror stories and cinema so I was like, COOL! He obviously did not agree but he didn’t want to talk about it further, so he only mentioned that this ghost or ghosts seemed to have it out for him when he was a child growing up in his grandmother’s house.

His grandmother’s house, it turned out, was in an ancient part of the city. Residential construction in these urban regions tends to be concrete shoebox-type deals stacked on top of each other. Her house is located right next to the river which floods regularly every year during the monsoon season. So her house was oppressively dark, with cracked concrete floors and discolored flood marks high on every wall of the first floor. It was a creepy house, even for a non-believer like me.

There was a staircase in the back of the house that split off in opposite directions; one went upstairs to a spare bedroom that overlooked the roof and the other to a room housing a very large Buddhist shrine as grandma was a very devout woman. According to the hubbs, when he was a child, he’d seen a bright orb flash from the shrine room down the stairs and up the steps to the bedroom. He also recalled being terrified as a very young child by things he couldn’t articulate. His relatives told us stories of him sometimes rushing out of a room where he’d been by himself screaming in terror at something that had frightened him badly. Other relatives told me of seeing figures walking around the house or hearing footsteps and voices when they were there by themselves.

The staircase. It goes up to a shrine room to the left and then also up to a spare bedroom to the right. (Sorry about the poor quality; back in 2003 I was a broke college student and didn’t have a high quality digital camera.)

The staircase leading up to the shrine room.

We stayed in the spare bedroom, which was through a door and up a set of steep concrete steps, almost like a loft. The room overlooked the roofs of neighboring houses, and would’ve been quite comfortable...except I got very ill almost immediately with food poisoning and a whole bunch of TMI things and started spending a lot of time up there by myself.

The first day I was reading a book upstairs. I heard my name called very clearly but it sounded far away, like someone was calling me from downstairs. I went down and found the house completely empty – everyone had gone out. I brushed it off as it was VERY quiet inside the house and it could very well have been just my imagination, and went back upstairs. Later it occurred to me that the silence was odd in of itself; usually the city is noisy with pedestrians and honking motorbikes going by outside. But at the time, since I was nauseated and it was hot and very humid, I just wanted to sleep and was happy for the quiet.

A while later, I was laying there on the bed facing the staircase when I heard footsteps heading up to the room. They were very loud, unmistakable, hard stomps on every step. I looked up, thinking maybe my husband had returned, waiting for him to appear at the top of the steps. But the footsteps just stopped just below the top of the stairs. I heard breathing and felt someone there. Was the person just pausing on the steps? What were they even waiting for? I called out, and when I got no response I went over to see who it was.

The staircase was empty. I went downstairs again. The house was still deserted.

The voices, footsteps, and breathing occurred several more times during the three days we stayed there, while I was alone in the room. It got to the point where I’d just concentrate on my book and refuse to look up or acknowledge the sounds or presence in any way. I figured people had been living with this spirit for decades and it hadn’t harmed anyone that I knew of...right? I didn’t tell my husband at the time since I didn’t want to frighten him more than he already was, and I still wasn’t sure if I wasn’t just imagining it.

Later, I woke up in the middle of the night. My husband was already awake next to me. The room was unusually dark; usually street lights could be seen through the windows and it was a moonlit night. The staircase was suffocatingly dark. There was the feeling of a heavy brooding presence at the end of the bed which was closest to the staircase, watching us. We forced ourselves to go back to sleep because what the hell else were we supposed to do about a creepster ghost watching us? lol

The next day, since he’d experienced it too I told my husband about the weird sounds and voices I kept hearing coming from the staircase. Needless to say, he freaked the fuck out and told me that years ago when his mother had been pregnant with him, she’d been going down those steps when two invisible hands had SHOVED her down the stairwell.

The next night, we were awoken by loud scratching at the window next to our bed, like tree branches scraping against something. Except there was no breeze, and this was a rooftop so there were no plants, much less tree branches to scrape anything. I looked outside (I know, I know, in a movie I’d be the first to die) and saw nothing. We went back to bed and we’d only laid down for about fifteen minutes talking about the house when a cat started YOWLING outside our window like something out of The Grudge. We nearly had heart attacks; I shot up to look outside the window again. There was no cat, no noise, nothing around. We weren’t overlooking an alley or anything – this was the rooftop of a three story house. There was nothing to be seen anywhere.

I’m willing to chalk the last up to an actual live cat though, because cats are assholes.

The next morning, things seemed to be happening. My father-in-law was bustling around in the living room with a bunch of men, measuring things on the floor and pointing at things. My husband got really nervous again and hustled me out the door to do some delayed sight-seeing and wouldn’t answer any questions about what they were doing. Much later in the day he told me that his father, a feng-shui practitioner, had been losing money in some ventures and thought his misfortune originated in the house, so he’d brought in other practitioners to diagnose the problem.

They found two bodies buried under the floor.

By the time we got back to the house, the bodies had been removed and disposed of properly with funeral rites to appease the ghosts. The bodies outdated the house; centuries ago, when the city was still being built the river still overflowed its banks annually. These two were laborers who died in the flood and had been buried there, next to the river. My memory of what exactly the reason was or how the practitioners even knew the manner of their deaths is spotty, as my husband to this day refuses to talk about it.

I’m not supposed to have these photos. I’m told possessing even the photos can bring bad luck.

We never stayed in that house again.

^tumblr was not letting me upload the photos. You can see them here.

[ourimpavidheroine]

So look. I got an ask that was rude and insulting, and as I clearly state on my asks page, I don’t post those. I delete them, and I am going to continue to delete them, no matter how many you send. The end.

But this I will say. 

When I was 15 years old my mother, whom I have not had contact with in nearly 10 years now, punched me in the face and broke my nose. She was angry because I had been cast in a boy’s role instead of a girl’s role in a play. (Or at least that’s why I think she was angry; it was oftentimes hard to tell with her. The anger just came whether you understood why or not.) Was I flipping her attitude about it? You know, I might have been, although on the whole I was pretty afraid to flip attitude at her because her retaliation for that kind of thing was pretty brutal. (Not that it matters, because the last time I checked Breaking Your Kid’s Nose was not a reasonable response to My Teen Is Flipping Me Attitude.) But that’s how things were when I was growing up. I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally. My mother was never the mother I needed and/or wanted; she was simply the mother I had.

When we decided to have kids - I was 33, and it was with my late wife, so we used a sperm bank - I knew that I had to make different choices as a parent. I could not be the kind of mother who would break my 15 year old’s nose or who would burn her 13 year old’s writing while telling her it was crap or who would tell her daughter how ugly and weird and embarrassing she was and how no one would ever want her. 

It was hard. It was really fucking hard. I got therapy to help straighten my shit out. (And oh my god, there was so much for me to unpack about that.) I made active choices to do better. I had to take many deep, hard looks at myself and realize that I was not being the best parent I could be and then I had to change what I did. I had to parent actively and not passively. But most importantly? I had to put on my goddamn Mommy pants and do all of that hard work on my own.

And it was and is really, really fucking hard work. But the key to it was realizing two very important things:

1) While the things my mother did to me were not my fault they were, however, my problem and;

2) My kids were not responsible for any of it and it was up to me and no one else to do the hard work necessary to be a better mother for them.

It was not easy for me to learn to apologize to my kids. It was hard! I had no role model! It was not easy for me to hear them tell me when I was hurting or upsetting them and not turn it around and hurt them back, the way my mother had always done to me. I had to learn and accept that when there was an issue with my kids, it was on me to find a fair solution in a calm and reasonable manner and to help them learn how to find solutions as well. In other words, I had to model behavior for them, and fuck knows I had no good role model in my own mother. I had to actively choose better parenting every single day because it did not come naturally to me. Sometimes I failed! I’m human. But when I failed I made sure my kids knew that it was my failure, and not theirs, and that I was sorry and would do my level best to never repeat it again. And that was hard, too. But so it goes. Being a parent is hard work, sometimes.

I have never resolved things with my mother, and I quite sincerely doubt I ever will. She does not believe she has done anything wrong, and she has zero interest in apologizing/making reparations/changing who she is. She learned how to mother from her own mother, and she carried that dynamic down to me, and admitting she was wrong would be about so much more than just telling me - it would mean dealing with her own feelings about her own mother, and I honestly don’t believe that is ever going to happen. She’s in her 70′s now. And that’s just the way it is. I don’t like it, but I have accepted it. I have moved on.

I don’t often talk about myself on this blog - it’s for my fanfic, not my personal stuff. I had a pretty lousy beginning. I am autistic and back when I was a kid no one knew what the fuck that was, and that was hard. My mother is a pretty unpleasant person and was not the mother I needed. My father, whom I loved deeply and who died when I was 26, was an alcoholic and didn’t do enough to protect us from her. My younger brother, who I used to be close to, has turned into a raging, sexist, narcissistic Trumper, and I haven’t talked to him in 12 years. Like many of you reading this, my family of origin kind of sucks, and so I have made my own family over the years, and I am happier that way. I’ve struggled in the past 3 years since my wife died - I miss her so very much - but I am not an inherently miserable person. At all! By that I mean that I don’t walk around feeling sorry for myself or thinking the world owes me something for all my pain. I am just a person doing the best she can, and as time goes on it’s getting better, for sure.

All that being said...

Was Su Beifong the mother Kuvira wanted or needed? Obviously not. As I’ve said before, Kuvira’s feelings about that are real! And you could get into an entire debate about whether Su was a good or bad or indifferent person about that, but at the end of it all, there is still Kuvira, who is making the choices she is making. She’s an adult woman who makes choices, and she chooses to do what she does. That is not on Su Beifong, any more than me choosing to punch my own daughter in the nose would have been on my mother. It would be MY FAULT. That’s it. Nothing more to say. No excuses.

I’ll be honest here and say that when I see fans blaming Su for the choices Kuvira makes I think to myself, there’s a person who is still using someone else as an excuse for their bad behavior rather than taking responsibility for their own choices; someone like my mother, who justified what she had gone through as a child with her own mother as an excuse to hurt others, including myself. At the end of the day we are all responsible for our own choices, and Kuvira is no different. Whatever happened between her and Su doesn’t matter when it comes to what Kuvira does to others. It does not excuse nor justify her dictatorship and all of the horrible things she did to sustain it. And I really have nothing else to say about it.

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

Safety First

@whiteroes1977

here’s a short ficlet I came up with for Trollhunter!Barbara.  It takes place in the same au I started with a Barbara x Nomura ficlet that also had Barbara as the Trollhunter (and chronologically, a little later that same night), but I tried to write it in such a way that it can be enjoyed on its own.

anyway, this au is beginning to really grow on me

for everyone else, here’s the original Trollhunter!Barb post

Barbara, despite her various aches and pains, smiled the moment she entered Blinky’s library.  It had been a nearly eternal night (one she’d hardly forget) and it was refreshing to return to the familiar safety of a place she’d spent countless hours learning troll lore.

Though, the moment she sat down in one of Blinky’s reading chairs, she heard the four-armed troll clear his throat.  She sighed.  She knew she was in trouble.

“Master Barbara, if you would be so kind as to please enlighten me on why you thought it would be an excellent idea to—”

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose.  “Do we have to do this now, Blinkous?”  She closed her eyes.  Everything still ached, and that included her heart.

“I see you are still not recovered from tonights *ahem* debacle.”  Blinky loomed over her.  “I will leave the matter alone.  Temporarily.  On the condition that you will not try anything like that again.”

“Changeling.”  ARRRGGGHHH!!! added from his position on the other side of the room.  Barbara briefly hated him for it.

“Ah yes.  And that’s the other thing.   Were you going to tell us about your secret courtship with a changeling or just let that one go unsaid?”

Barbara let out a long breath.  Without seeing Blinky, she knew he was still looming.  “I didn’t know, alright?  When I met Nomura, I thought she was a human.  When I went tonight, I thought she just wanted to talk.”  Because, despite everything, a part of Barbara was still in love with the other woman.  “I didn’t know she was a changeling.  Or that it was a trap.”  She pursed her lips.  “But she’s not like the others.  She helped me escape.  Without her, I’d be dead, Bular would still be alive, and the bridge would be open.”  Barbara opened her eyes to glare at Blinky.  “So maybe it wasn’t that much of a debacle after all.”

“We will revisit this issue later.”  Blinky finally left her alone.

Barbara slumped in her seat.  What she would give for a hot shower right now.  She needed to get home.  She’d been gone long enough as it was.  

Barbara took her phone out of her pocket and sighed in relief that it hadn’t been damaged in earlier’s fight.  Then her sigh turned to a groan when she saw all the new texts on her lock screen.  She quickly unlocked the device and called the first number on her speed dial.

“Mom?  MOM!  Where are you?  Are you ok?  Did something happen?  I called the hospital and they said you hadn’t made it in to your shift!”

Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuuuck.

Her usual lies about extra, unexpected work shifts weren’t going to work.  Barbara winced.  Her mind scrambled for other excuses.  She hated to lying to Jim like this.  He’d always been such a good child.  He’d never, in his life, lied to her.  She shouldn’t, but she couldn’t.  Jim was her son.  It was her job to protect him.  She couldn’t drag him into this, this mess that had taken over her life.  He deserved to have a normal life or at least one as normal as she could try and give.

And what happens, a voice whispered at the back of Barbara’s mind, if one night you don’t come back.  You promised him.  You promised him you’d never leave like his father did.  How do you think he’ll feel if you end up dead on the street?  When he’s called in to identify your body?

Barbara silenced that voice to the best of her abilities.  She hadn’t died yet. Despite numerous almosts (including tonight).  She could do this.  She could keep up this charade.  At least until Jim left for college.  And then.  Well, she didn’t know.  But she’d figure it out.

Until then, she needed a lie.

“Jim.  Jim sweetie, I’m alright.  I…I just got lost.  Yeah, I took the wrong exit off the highway and then thought I could get back on my own and you will not believe where I—”

“You’re lying.”  Jim’s voice was flat.  Angry.  “Don’t lie to me like this, mom.  I was really worried this time.”  His voice paused and she knew he was pacing around.  “Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on?  I’m sixteen.  I thought you trusted me?  You said we’d just have to take care of each other when dad left…” his voice faded.  “Please, mom.  Tell me what’s going on.”  And then so quietly Barbara could barely hear him, “I’m scared.”

For a moment, Barbara did consider telling Jim the truth.  About the day her car had broken down right as she was driving over the bridge to work.  Seeing something shining in a pile of rubble down in the canals.  Going to investigate.  Finding the Amulet.  That night, when two trolls had come barging into her life while he was over at Toby’s playing video games.  Becoming the Trollhunter.

Then she thought of Draal and his original anger at her.  Bular and his desire to kill her and feast on her bones.  The not-Nomura changelings who would do anything to hurt her.  If she dragged Jim into this, how long would it take them to go after him?  Right now, they’d kept away from her son arguably because of some weird troll honor against killing innocent whelps (or something, Barbara honestly wasn’t sure why they hadn’t gone after Jim yet but she wasn’t willing to risk anything).  But, as soon as Jim entered the troll world, would that end?

Learning to fight had been a struggle.  If she could barely hold her own in a true battle, how could she hope to protect her son too?

“Look, kiddo, I’m sorry but that’s the truth.  I got lost.  I should have called and I didn’t and—”

Jim hung up on her.

Barbara took her phone away from her ear.  She stared at her background picture.  It was a selfie Jim had taken of them on one of the last happy days they’d gotten before all this.  There’d been a county fair and, she forgot why now, but they’d gone to it.  They’d had so much fun.  For once, the hospital didn’t call and they’d been able to just spend time together, uninterrupted.

Leaning back in her seat, Barbara closed her eyes and sighed again.

I’m sorry, Jim.