#otherwise it's a lot of rage and sadness and trying to figure out where to direct it all/who i can try to connect with to help ppl like me

[izzy-b-hands]

Deeply craving a food* I absolutely can't have bc it would require being in ND rn

*flying style pizza burger at Big Boy, if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck in Bismarck, ND for any period of time go have one, then another bc they're addictive like that lol. Everything there is good and the money is worth it. Plus you can hang out in the huge parking lot and the birds will eat fries you toss out if you sit and eat in your car, just maybe. only do a few for the sake of the birds' health tho jfdkalfjdl

(politically related worries/things under the cut abt ND and travel)

And had the realisation just now that keeps randomly hitting me and tbh I may have already posted abt it but

I can't go back. Like, ever, for the foreseeable future. It wouldn't be safe; I wouldn't want to risk it just for food of course lmao.

But I'm not going to be able to go this summer to see the oldest out of my three younger cousins get married (if I could find the money for it of course which I know I can't no matter how much I want to.) I can't take my fiance there to show aer all my favourite spots and restaurants. I can't take aer to the best place near the river to walk; it's got actual wooden walkways over the low tide/kind of marshy area before you get into deep water and can see fish swimming around. I'm not going to be able to visit my grandparents or my mum (tbh more worried abt grandparents than mum; they're only getting older and they aren't entirely happy since moving out of their old house and I worry so much abt them.)

I had known that this was already dangerous even before fuckface was back in office; ND is on the 'avoid travel if you can' category on all maps abt trans safety in different states. But like. There was still a tiny chance we could make it work. Be mindful and head straight back to our hotel if we didn't have a destination in mind (aside from walking the downtown area for the restaurants and shops.)

I don't know entirely how I feel abt this. Sad, but in a certain way bc of the above. I should have known it would only get more dangerous. And it's not an exciting place; I'll make fun of it until the day I die in the way you do when you spent most of your life in a place and know all the good and bad abt it. But I did still want to take Fiance there at least once for a longer period of time; just to see the things I mentioned and to figure out how much Big Boy food I can freeze and how many coolers Delta will allow on a flight as luggage and/or carry on. Not to ever move back (FUCK NO), just one last visit and then I would only go there for funerals or weddings or baby showers or things like that*

*if I could afford to, otherwise I'm just sending gifts. On that note, like my cousin's upcoming wedding; I knew there was basically no chance I could afford to fly or take a train back for it. They've got a registry and I'm still planning to buy them something despite them and my aunt and uncle making moves that suggest they've gone from begrudgingly supportive of me as a queer person to slowly pretending I no longer exist.

My cousin is, apparently refusing to send me a save the date or invite, and per my grandma it isn't bc she knows I can't afford to come back, but she won't tell her the actual reason for it. My grandma is telling me to hound her and make my mum ask her why she won't send it, but I think that we would even have to do that, which I don't want to, is an answer on it's own.

And that's okay, or at least I feel like I have to be okay with it. The cousins and their parents have always been openly trans and homophobic despite my grandparents, bless them, for trying once in a blue moon to scold them for it. I think I was 'one of the good ones' to them while I was there, but now that I'm not and they aren't around me as much, it's easier for me to be the family black sheep and they can be open about disliking me just for who I am. It hurts, but in a numb way bc like. Dramatic metaphor but the wound was already there from years of listening to their bs at family gatherings and having to sit there in silence so I didn't get accused of being rude to them by them and my mum's bf. It's just more knives trying to go through a fuck ton of scar tissue, so it doesn't hurt like it used to but. Still hurts enough to notice.

I'm really proud of those kids; I may have been parentified all to fuck but I'm still proud of how I did my best to help raise those kids. Tried hard to teach them about being polite but not letting ppl take advantage of you (thank you to the self help books in the middle and high school library for that knowledge. Still can't apply it to myself bc I'm seemingly stuck in people pleaser/doormat mode most of the time, but I'm glad to have it regardless), to be brave even when things are scary, and to try and be a helper instead of a bully, though unfortunately their parents are bullies to everyone including their kids and each other, so that bit didn't stick as well as I'd have liked.

I want the best for them and I miss them. They may not miss me, but I'm never going to stop wanting all the best for them and missing them.

[silverynight]

ANASTASIA INSPIRED AU??

(Immediately giving my idea to you because I can I've been rewatching Anastasia a lot lately <3)

Also a note: Kamado is a traditional japanese stove/ grill that uses very little charcoal, which I think is fitting considering the Kamado family's occupation lol

----

Tanjirou Kamado was nothing but ordinary. He was an orphan living in an orphanage in the village that sat on the foot of Mount. Kumotori. He had barely any memories of his childhood, he was found at the age of five with no memories wandering around alone.

All he had with him was a pair of earrings clipped to his ears and a damaged photo. The photo had been soaked in the rain, and only three figures were vaguely seen, a small child and a couple, most likely him and his parents. There was writing on the back, his parents' names were washed away with the rain, but his name just barely remained.

Later in life Tanjirou was given the surname "Kamado" because of how well he learned to use the old stone stove in the orphanage.

When Tanjirou reached the of fifteen, he had to move out. The village wasn't doing so well the past few years, and the orphanage couldn't take care of everyone. Tanjirou was an independent and a strong boy, he could survive on his own, right? So Tanjirou set out into the world, alone again.

----

Elsewhere a wealthy and a sad but bitter man with the name Michikatsu stood alone, staring at an old portrait. The painting featured Michikatsu's younger brother, Yoriichi, Yoriichi's wife, Uta, and their son, Tanjirou. It's been ten years since the massacre.

Ten years ago Michikatsu was the oldest son of the pestigious Tsugikuni clan. His younger twin brother, while not as high valued in the family, was still loved and respected by the public. Probably one of the only reasons why their father allowed him and his wife to stay in their large estate; reputation thing.

Despite their stranded relationship at the start, the two brother's began mending their relationship when little Tanjirou came into the picture. The little boy was incredibly sweet and kind, he didn't hesitate on extending a helping hand out to anyone, no matter their status.

Tanjirou got along well with his cousins, his aunt and uncle both adored him. How could they not? Michikatsu would've felt horrible if he tried distancing himself from his brother's family when Tanjirou came by.

Then one night, during a huge celebration, it all went wrong. Their clan was celebrating the 400th anniversary of their clan's service for the country, when a pale man with eyes the color of red and hair the color of ink intruded.

The man was named Muzan Kibutsuji, and claimed that Yoriichi had once fought him, and defeated him. Yoriichi didn't deny this claim, but instead explained that he had no choise, as Muzan had intended on killing countless people. Muzan had been bitter and angry about his defeat, and arrived to take revenge.

No one of ther clan survived. Yoriichi stayed behind, trying his best to hold Muzan back while everyone fled. Uta died shortly after, trying her best to protect her second child, a little girl named Nezuko, but failed. All of the other relatives died. Michikatsu's wife and children died. His father drew out his sword in rage and died quickly.

Michikatsu had managed to take Tanjirou and run, but was not able to bring Tanjirou with him to safety. They got seperated, and now Michikatsu has no idea where his nephew is, or if the boy is even alive anymore.

Michikatsu stood in the abandoned Tsugikuni estate, staring at his little brother's face. His brother rarely showed any emotion, but in this painting he had a gentle and faint smile on his face, to show how happy he had been at the time.

Michikatsu sighed and left the room. He couldn't stand there and stare at the painting any longer, otherwise he might breakdown again.

As he made his way out of the house, he heard footsteps. While the estate is now long forgotten to time, he still didn't apprechiate intruders, not after what happened last time.

Michikatsu went back, and saw a young boy staring at the portrait, seemingly deep in thought.

"Oi, who do you think-" Michikatsu's question died down in his throat when the boy turned around.

The boy backed away, his back hitting the portrait, his head right next to the painted face of Michikatsu's nephew. The same red eyes glimmering like rubies, the same soft and messy burgundy hair, even the same old burn scar on his forehead.

"U-uhm, I'm sorry sir." The boy stuttered. "I didn't know that this place was still... uh- well not inhabited I suppose? W-what I mean to say is that I didn't mean to tresspass!"

But Michikatsu couldn't hear any of the boy's apologies or explanations. It had to be, it had to be him. The boy had to be Tanjirou.

"...It's alright, you didn't know, and you haven't stolen or broken anything." Michikatsu eventually muttered, trying to keep his voice steady and calm. He couldn't get his hopes up. "Could you tell me your name, boy?"

"O-oh, it's Tanjirou, sir." Michikatsu's nephew answered, Yoriichi's earrings clinking against his head a bit with his movements.

Now that he has found him, Michikatsu doesn't plan to lose him ever again; although he has to convince that he belongs to a very important family, since it seems the boy has lost all of his memories.

It's alright, he has time.

[cat-writes-sometimes]

The Face of Desire, Book 2 Ch 1

TW: Gore, Violence, Implied Child Abuse

“Where is she?”

“Fuck you.” Strings of spit flung from the old man's lips before his head snapped to the side, sending a spray of blood flying across the floor. The fist came so fast he didn’t even have time to flinch.

“You are making this so difficult. It doesn’t have to be.”

He fought against the restraints which kept him firmly attached to the metal chair. The bolts securing the legs to the floor made it a useless struggle. All it did was rub prior blisters making them burst and making the rows of zip ties sink deeper into his skin. He spat out a glob of spit and blood aiming for the woman’s face but it fell in a sad arc, hitting the floor with a wet tap. The woman looked down, there was a tooth smack dab in the center.

“You deaf? I said fuck you!” He yelled again, the thick southern accent mixed with the swelling in his face made his words sound muffled.

The woman sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She sat backwards on a wooden chair, rocking back and forth on the rickety legs. Her black hair was tightly braided down her back contrasting with her red plaid button up. Her eyes squinted, making the wrinkles at the corners bunch together. She has been interrogating the man for an hour but he hasn't given her any useful information. Just a lot of spitting and curses.

“I know you’re involved, or you know something. We have evidence from the scene coming back to your farm. Now you can either help me find her, or you can use a blender to drink your meals.” She pointed her chin to the tooth on the ground.

“All you fuckin’ cops, hounding me for months.” he snarled before breaking out in manic laughter. She raised her eyebrow. “You gon’ regret this!”

In the corner of her eye the woman saw a figure dropping fast from the rafters above. Sharp metallic blades glowed in the moonlight as it landed where she was a moment before. Without hesitation it jumped to its feet and launched itself at her with neck breaking speed. Before the attacker got a chance to close the distance the figure went flying back, crashing into the wooden walls with enough force to make the barn sudder.

“So that's how you did it.” She said, approaching the mystery assailant. A scarecrow struggled against an invisible force sending straw flying in the air. With every step her leather boots crunched the straw into the dirt floor. The woman sucked her teeth as she watched it tried to peel itself from the wall but all it managed was some lame twitches.

Puppet manipulation, a fairly basic technique.

Its hands were a mess of rusty knives and farm tools clanking together as they opened and closed trying to cut her mindlessly. “A scarecrow, really? Couldn’t think of anything more original?”

The man in the chair flinched as she brought her hand to the scarecrow and made it explode into a firework of straw. The blades clattered to the ground in a heap. As she turned around the planks on the floor next to her burst open and another clawed its way to the surface in a mad rage. In seconds it was reduced to a pile of hay and rust. As was the one after, and the one after that until the floor of the barn was covered in rusty tools and piles of straw.

“Anymore or can we continue?” She asked, wiping the pieces of scarecrow from her jeans and shirt. The man’s face shifted

“Where is she?” The woman held up a photo of a little girl. Isabella White, ten years old. Last seen two days ago walking home from school. The small town in Kentucky which barely had a speeding case had seen seven little girls go missing over the last two years.

“I’ve never seen ‘er in my life.” The man growled but the slight upturn in the corner of his mouth said otherwise. A bead of sweat dripped down his forehead into the channels of his wrinkles. His thinning hair stuck together in greasy, gray clumps.

“Oh really?” The woman flung the photo to the man's feet. His eyes flickered down for a moment before returning to her. “All those kids, what did you do with them? Or should I say, "What did you want to do with them?”

She moved closer to him. His overalls reeked of sweat and farm work but she maintained her emotionless expression. “Look, I’m not a cop, you can be honest. Did you think they were pretty? Isabella was very pretty." She looked at the photo on the ground. Isabella was smiling, her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail with pink scrunchies and her pink glittery shirt made rainbows in the sun. "Maybe you would even consider her sexy?” She softly asked as she circled him. “Maybe you wanted to keep them all for yourself? Someone to love you forever, a child you never had.”

“I’d rather you hit me than keep on blabbering.” He groaned.

“Or maybe it's darker than that.” The woman looked at the blades of the ground and picked one up, turning her back to the man. “When you work on a farm you must see a lot of blood, butchering and all. Tell me, do you like the sight of blood?” There was a sudden shift in the air, she turned around to see the man's eyes fixed upon the hand which held the rusty blade. “I imagine animals get boring though. To fully appreciate it you would need something more…human. Do you like the way humans squirm and scream when they are cut? How the skin opens and have all those layers of pretty colors? Tan…to white…to red.” She traced the blade down her palm opening up the skin. Deep red blood flowed from the cut and dripped onto the straw.

Like a damn was burst, the smell of salt filled the air. Musky and rancid like seaweed left to rot in the sun. the woman's nose wrinkled. The man's eyes never left her palm, looking at opening of her skin like a peeping tom searching through a window of a locker room. She closed her hand and opened it. The blood was still hot and wet but the cut had already healed. He licked his lips leaving a layer of slime.

Lust.

“She’s not alive anymore is she?”

He didn’t answer but the smell only got thicker and heavier as he remembered. She gave a sad sigh before approaching the man. “Where did you dump them?” She asked flatly.

“I don't know what you’re talk-” She hovered her hand over his and in an instant all the bones and flesh were pressed paper thin. The man let out a blood curdling scream and became shaking against his restraints.

“Look, I’m tired and I really want to go home and take a shower in bleach after this” She said. The man's chest heaved and his eyes began to bulge. “Where did you dump them?” her voice remained flat.

“Fuck y- AHHH” She hovered her foot over his, turning the shoe and all its contents to mush.

“Wrong. Try again.”

It wasn’t until she made it to the knees and elbows he finally gave in. Through heaves and sobs and he told her where he put the pieces of them. All of them.

“Thank you kindly.” She said in a mocking southern accent before hovering her hand over his head. A sickening, wet crunch sent blood and brains splattering each wall of the barn.

The woman opened the barn doors and took out a cigarette, she lit it and immediately took a deep breath. As the smoke fell from her lips in lazy spirals she looked up at the night sky. In the middle of the country the stars shone with an unfiltered brightness. It was such a beautiful sight from such a terrible place.

After another drag she walked past the old house to the edge of a clearing. On the line between the forest and the clearing a stone well stood lonely against the freshly mowed grass like a tombstone. The closer she got to it, the thicker the cursed energy became.

She took one final inhale of smoke before stomping the cigarette out. She approached the well and looked down into the deep hole. At the bottom in a pool of murky water, a curse scratched at the walls. Deep lines in the rocks showed years of unsuccessful climbs to the surface.

She rested her elbows on the edge of the well and waited for it to notice her. Soon the curse sniffed the air and looked up, locking its glassy black eyes with hers.

From the depths of the well came the smell of autumn leaves on the wind, fresh and crisp. The warmth of the sun as it melted the morning frost. It tasted like the color of turquoise and felt like a soft breeze.

Drops began to fall on the curse’s head as tears escaped from the corners of her eyes. In her mind flashed the years of watching the sky from the bottom of a hole.

“I will grant you what you want,” she said, her voice just loud enough to reach the depths below. With the confirmation cursed energy began to flow into her, an intoxicating rush that sent shivers racing down her spine. The taste that filled her mouth was innocent and light, almost pure. For a fleeting moment, she felt a pang of guilt for taking it at all.

As she consumed the last of it, she gave the curse what it desired. The splashing at the bottom of the well ceased abruptly, replaced by a sudden, resonant flapping. In an instant, the curse surged upward like a rocket, bursting from the darkness with a pair of shimmering, beautiful wings.

The woman watched in silence as it soared into the night sky, circling high above and shaking the water from its glistening form. It looked like the night sky.

“You are very pretty.” She said with a sad smile. The curse came down to the lip of the well and perched itself facing her. She reached out and stroked its face gently, Seven black eyes followed her movements carefully but didn’t flinch. The curse felt warm and soft. “Now go be free. Don’t cause too much trouble, ok? You don’t want me having to come find you.” She took back her hand and the curse paused for a moment in silent acknowledgment before shooting back off into the sky, far out of sight.

The woman watched the stars for a bit, collecting herself before pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. She went to the barn where the bloody mess of a corpse still sat in its chair. She kicked the door opened and after a deep drag. When the end of the cigarette looked as red a molten metal she threw it into the straw and watched the barn engulf in flames.

When she was certain the barn would be reduced to ash, she made her way to the car parked a mile down the desolate road. After a few turns of the key the engine roared to life, and she drove into the waiting darkness, the orange glow of the distant flames fading in her rearview mirror.

An hour later, she pulled into the lot of a dingy roadside motel. The flickering Vacancy sign buzzed faintly, its harsh neon glow highlighting every dent and scrape on the car’s chipped paint.

She climbed the creaking stairs to the second floor, the key cold and heavy in her hand. When she unlocked the door, the stale air hit her first. A woman sat up on one of the beds.

“Did you find it?” Her tan skin looked ghostly blue in the light of the television.

“Yeah.” she said, taking her leather boots off at the door. The bathroom door opened and a man in sweatpants and a white t-shirt came out, fresh from the shower. His short blonde hair was still dripping.

“Was it a curse?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Ha! You owe me twenty bucks.” He laughed, pointing at the woman on the bed. She rolled her eyes and leaned over to get her wallet.

“Fuck you Chris.” she grumbled as he snatched the twenty dollar bill from her hands.

“Pleasure during business, Farah.” He teased.

“Why is it that whenever we come to stick’s more people do sick shit than curses. So what was it?” Farah leaned back into the bed, crossing her arms in a huff. “A pervert?”

“A sorcerer.” She said, sitting down on the other bed.

“A sorcerer? Out here?” Farrah raised her eyebrows.

“Hey! Don’t sit on my bed. Outside clothes, remember?” Chris complained as he dried his hair with a flimsy motel towel.

“Nothing touches her dumbass.”

“Still it's the principle behind it.” He mumbled. “Akemi…can you?” He motioned to his face.

“Oh, my bad. I forgot it was still on.” Akemi said. A veil of smoke fell from her as the middle aged woman from before melted away. The lines of age on her face vanished and her dark black hair faded into a deep charcoal grey. The clothes which fit snugly before became baggy.

“So it was a sorcerer?” Farah resumed her questioning.

“Yeah, puppet manipulation. He was using scarecrows to grab the girls.”

“Scarecrows? That explains the cursed energy and the straw at the bus stop. Dammit, I swore it was a curse this time.”

“Yeah…” Akemi’s voice trailed off. In the United States, major cities had established schools for sorcerers, making it nearly impossible to practice under the radar. They were organized, structured, and efficient at keeping curses in check.

But beyond the city limits—on the outskirts and deep into the heart of the middle states—it was a different story entirely. There, where towns were small enough to fit inside a single apartment building, the rules barely applied. It was a lawless frontier, a wild west of rogue sorcerers and unchecked curses.

“So, you didn’t find the girl?” Chris asked. Akemi shook her head and their shoulders slumped, his eyes softened and he walked up to her. He placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “It’s ok, you saved the next one.” Akemi took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m going to take a shower.” She said, slipping his hand off with a squeeze. She stepped into the steamy bathroom, shutting the door carefully behind her.

She slumped over the sink, her eyes fixed on the rust-colored stains clinging to the edges of the drain. She had hoped Farah was right, that this time it really was a curse. The score was becoming uneven.

Wiping a hand across the fogged mirror, she stared at her streaked reflection. Ten years had passed in a blur. She looked older than the girl who had first arrived here, but not by much. Then again, she spent so little time in her own skin. Most days, she wore someone else’s face. If it weren’t for Chris and Farah, she doubted she’d show her true form at all.

Her mind drifted back to the curse at the bottom of the well. The black eyes staring at her bleakly from the bottom. He must have been able to see it too. She felt the anger and sadness rise inside of her like flames in her rearview mirror. When she looked into the mirror her eyes had turned black and her teeth were becoming pointed and jagged. She took a deep breath and turned on the shower.

“Be above them, Akemi. Above sorcerers, above curses, above demons.”

Her mother’s words echoed in her head, as they often did. She had tried to live by them, to rise above the chaos, to find clarity in detachment. But in doing so, she’d kept reaching a conclusion she wished she hadn’t.

In the end, they were all the same. Curses, humans, sorcerers. It didn’t matter how different they seemed. In the grand scheme of things, they all belonged to the same tangled mess without an end. It was a bleak diagnosis, but one she had learned to acknowledge and let pass like bad weather.

Before she went into the shower she checked her appearance. Her eyes were back to their normal gunmetal color and her teeth were flat. She let the hot water and cheap soap wash away the stench of the day and mentally readied herself for tomorrow. There was another case 50 miles away. A young man had been found torn to shreds in his home but nothing had been taken.

Akemi silently prayed it was a curse this time.

Want to read more? Check out The Face of Desire on A03 by Catrin.

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 4: In a Legal Setting

Prev - In a Legal Setting - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan comes to a fresh conclusion in a courtroom.

Everything changed that night.

Well, perhaps that was a bit exaggerative, Logan mused as he crouched, knees to chin, in the center of his room. There, too large to fit, and too small to change, his mind replayed his failure in Patton's room.

The hurt pouring off the tenderest of them all, the crack in his voice as he pleaded with him to cease his overly harsh assessment of his lingering feelings. The diamond glitter of tears in the corners of his eyes all demonstrated to Logan the primary failing of his technique to remain grounded.

Simply—over simplistically—put, Logan's anger not only had begun to serve as a poor deterrent to his inconvenient changes in size, but was now hurting the Side least equipped to weather his rage.

Thankfully, Logan had been able to escape before any of the others noticed the stretching seams on his polo or his sloped shoulders, hunched low to make himself appear smaller. He sank down, eyes closed, Patton's expression figuratively burned into his mind.

Safe and alone in his room, he managed to tear off his eyeglasses and his clothes before they'd be ruined. Walls and ceiling pressing in against him, he struggled to control his heart.

As a distraction, Logan pushed himself into Thomas' perspective, delaying his own perceptions of the chilly air against his bare skin, the sharp poke of his desk where it dug into his shin.

The tears soaking his floor.

Both hands covering his mouth, he failed to even name what caused his sobs he couldn't stop. Guilt for hurting Patton so? Frustration that, despite his efforts, they all still remained in Patton's room? An undignified whimper squeezed past Logan's lips as he shot up further, back of his head smacking against the ceiling.

He let out a slow breath and focused again on Thomas' senses.

His chest was tight but warm, a spark of melancholic joy as he recollected that damned fishing trip with Uncle Buck. Logan saw through his eyes and the others listened.

Everyone except Patton.

"Say," he said, shoulders dancing in his warning of impending pun. "What's 'Buck' short for?"

"Ah…" Logan shivered as he experienced the stereoscopic thrill of Thomas sifting through his memories from both of their perspectives.

"'Cause he's got little legs!"

Patton's giggle came out choked—thin and forced, his sweet goofy smile failing to brighten his eyes.

"You know you don't have to do that, Patton." There was no sign Thomas was at all aware of how completely Logan had taken control of his speech.

Patton certainly wasn't. He looked back at Thomas' eyes, open and thoroughly unshielded. Was that how he looked at everyone? Vulnerable? Listening with his full heart?

"Try to... hide what you're feeling with jokes. It's okay to be sad sometimes." Logan hugged his knees to his chest and let himself imagine he was holding Patton instead.

"I'm never sad! I'm your happy Pappy Patton! Just a fun-loving father figure figment."

"Falsehood." Spoken in Thomas' voice, Logan's correction came out far gentler than he could have ever managed on his own.

"You said yourself," Patton argued back. "I'm at the core of a lot of your happy feelings."

"You're at the core of a lot of hi—my feelings... Happy or otherwise." Logan watched Patton carefully, waiting to see if he'd caught the slip. He looked too busy trying not to cry to have noticed. Logan's heart clenched.

"When I was younger, my uncle used to take me fishing… and I HATED it. It was boring, throwing the living fish in the cooler upset me... There was no escape for them or for me. On the boat, I was stranded with miles of H2-Open water in every direction…"

Logan smiled to himself when Patton huffed out a tiny laugh at the pun. Eyes screwed shut, he rested his head against the door jam and slowly let slip his hold on Thomas' speech.

By the time the others made motions to return, Logan had shrunk enough to dress. He appeared in his spot just in time for their return.

Along with the fuzzy hoodie he'd intended to give Patton on his birthday.

Patton took to wearing his gift as a proper sweater whenever they were off camera. The first morning Logan came downstairs and saw him, sturdy blue apron tied tightly around his waist, plush sleeves rolled up, Logan could barely manage a few words before the warmth in his chest grew too large and his collar tightened until he couldn't speak. He excused himself with a gesture and a wave.

Eventually, Logan strengthened his ability to maintain his composure and the pair began to spend most quiet mornings together. Logan would loiter in the kitchen, sipping his coffee. Eventually, the his control grew and they'd stand side by side, mixing and chopping and blending together.

Everything had changed.

So much so that Logan had begun a new project, a personal project. Hunched over his desk, favorite pen in hand, he worked to plot out different tactics he might use to begin to reveal his core problem to Patton.

Gradually, Patton had begun to listen to him like none of the others did. He did not always completely understand, but was always willing to try. Perhaps sharing this difficulty with him could reveal some new insight into how Logan could better manage his condition.

At the very least, Logan hoped to finally explain the increasingly loud and caustic outbursts he used to prevent his literal growth spurts from interfering with their videos.

Thoughts churning, his pen wandered across the page and when Logan next looked down, he deciphered a familiar verse.

…love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

Smiling, Logan copied out the rest of the sonnet by memory. He'd nearly finished the final phrase when he felt the summons. With just enough time to think, he grabbed the first book he saw so he wouldn't appear before Thomas with his personal planner—and the sonnet—in view.

He rose up in the witness bench of a large, wood-paneled courtroom. Roman sat next to him in a gleaming white judge's robe, sash cut across it. Blood red. Virgil was a juror, a sharp tie over a long sleeved black shirt similar to his. Virgil's hoodie topped it off.

Patton's did not. His gift, his ever-present cat hoodie was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a three-piece suit.

Logan fought not to stare at him. "You guys are doing a courtroom scenario... without me?" No-one had insisted he be part of this exercise? None of them? Not even… He dragged his eyes away from the bright blue tie so perfectly knotted at Patton's collar and shoved his sour hurt into a tiny steel box in his chest. "Unacceptable."

He let their explanations wash over him as he played his role. Facts and information. Logic. That was all he needed in this moment.

It was all any of them needed from him.

J—Deceit carried on. "I feel like 'which event could cost us more to miss?' is a less interesting question than... 'which event has more to offer us?' Don't you?"

"I don't feel anything," Logan said. Irritation, perhaps. Frustration and annoyance. Those are mere sensation, not a feeling.

Deceit continued his argument and Logan only half-listened to his own responses. It was in his nature to rattle off the details he retained.

"There's always room for me," he said. There should be, at least. It was simple oversight that they hadn't included him sooner.

I don't feel anything.

Deceit smiled back at him. "I know, that's what I said, but Patton insisted we leave you alone. "

Patton said that? Logan wasn't certain if he'd actually spoken aloud. He watched his objection, waiting for an actual denial, waiting for any sort of evidence that J—Deceit had lied.

But Logan knew Deceit didn't always lie. He only got to decide when their truths could be revealed.

I don't feel anything.

Logan fumbled through the rest of the hearing, facts at the ready as a bright hot coal burned in the center of his chest. He was getting sloppy, soon these metaphors might take root. Or they would if anyone listened long enough to him. Eventually the hearing was done, Roman's judgement passed and, numb, Logan slipped back to his room.

His personal planner still sat open on his desk, foolhardy plans taunting him. A waste of paper and ink.

He picked up his pen and crossed out all but the final two lines of the sonnet.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Then he closed the book and crawled into bed.

I don't feel anything.

[bimbosymzs]

So, Hey!

My name is Bria and this is my blog, Bria´s Free Space.

I already have an introduction on my page, so yall can just look at that to get to know me first. What I will do, instead, is talk about my journey to this blog, and you can decide whether to stay or not.

I am 21, about to turn 22 this Sept 6th. I have loved to write since I was little. Pretty much every day of my life, I have something new to share and reconsider. Sometimes, I tell other people, and other days I keep it to myself and write it in some journal. Whether that is in a cooking recipe or herbal remedies journal or a creative journal for my projects. However, most of the time I write in a spiritual journal where I do a lot of my shadow work.

I am currently in a transitioning space, I will call myself a creative in flux. I am learning the importance of self-promotion and not hiding all of my efforts. Social Media somewhat stresses me out because I feel I become obsessive. The constant scrolling can be addictive. However, I am on Instagram now and have been enjoying posting more. I am trying to build a brand for myself. So, as I grow and receive more recognition, no one can take my place and do it for me. I like complete control over my presentation, no matter how sloppy or proper I may be.

Right now, I am super unemployed and super afraid of the future. But I believe in the power of putting yourself out there and figuring it out as you go. Thinking too much about it is the whole suffering thing. When you can finally remove yourself from your desires and focus solely on your needs, I believe your suffering lessens. In the same way, your body tells you it's hungry, your mind tells you it needs input, your soul will tell you to be still. I have heard that a lot this year. Be Still. Be Still. Be Still. I am not so great at that. So, I had a lot of start, fail, start, fail, start, and fail. It has been tough picking myself up every time, so this last month I accepted stillness. I was tired of the bruises, bumps, and cuts, so, I gave it a try. That's when this idea came to me. People are always telling me to start a youtube channel, and that blogging might be the path, or podcasting. That is not what I want to do at all. I want to be a serious writer, a serious filmmaker, a serious creative. What business do I have trying to write about my opinion all the time? But, what business do I have being so serious all the time? So, here we are. We are writing on Tumblr and building a blog.

I am excited about what is to come. Maybe I can be paid for this or bring some recognition to my other creative work. Or, I can work through my shit and help someone else out too. I have so many desires that I forget to take it all one step at a time. That's what I am doing now. So, on this blog, I will express my anger, my sadness, and my frustration -and lord knows there will be a lot of that- and most important, my joy. Also, I will share the things that intrigue me and give me guidance. I find that people listen to me when I speak, so maybe that means something.

All I know is that I want ¨Bria´s Free Space¨ to be a safe space to process and understand rage, which I have a lot of. I also want this to be a space where you can feel enlightened and moved. I want you to release the weight off yourself for being a human, whether you are a confused creator with a lack of direction, or a person working a 9-to-5 needing guidance in their everyday endeavors because I have been that too. The dating advice will be sparse, cause dating is a ´mood´ thing. Sometimes I just ¨enjoy¨ playing in people´s faces. Otherwise, I am young but I have lived. I have so many stories, experiences, and thoughts about life. I have a lot to share, maybe this is where I´ll do it.

So, I hope you made it to the end and got to know my reasons for starting this blog. I hope you stick around and follow my page. I´m a great time🥳.

Signing off,

B, the Virgo.

[year2000electronics]

Siblings, Origami, and Slightly Wasted Potential

Hi. Me again. I have some thoughts on Origami King and the ideal future we could have had.

(Spoilers for Origami King!)

(image recreation)

Last time on the analysis show, I took a look at the characterization of Paper Luigi (which is a pretty good read, I’ve been told). This time, I’d like to build on that a little more by addressing Paper Mario’s other pair of iconic siblings- Olly and Olivia. 

Specifically, the way I believe they have the ability to parallel Paper Mario and Paper Luigi.

So, to lay out some basic facts (as is usually necessary to make a strong foundation), I’d like to talk a bit about Mario and Luigi’s relationship with one another. 

Thanks to Luigi gaining importance in the Mario series as a whole, he’s been equipped with some new abilities and stories of his own. However, thanks to Mario encompassing everything heroic under the sun, a lot of the time, Luigi tends to need to take the ‘road less traveled’ of abilities and stories. This may just be an out-of-character thing, but over time, it’s given Luigi this sort of niche that he fills compared to Mario. 

Me, personally, I like to call Mario a ‘sun sibling’ and Luigi a ‘moon sibling’. 

The sun is associated with brightness, happiness, daytime- the time that most people use to the fullest. A sunny day will bring a smile to anyone. Mario has the same happy aesthetics as the daytime, his adventures always triumphant and basking in the spotlight. 

... (And sometimes, they’re quite literally ‘sunny’ adventures.)

Compare this to the moon- the nighttime. In popular culture, the night, darkness and even the moon have been used to signify darkness, mystery. The night in and of itself is something that’s only designated to ‘night owls’- it takes a lot of active planning to stay up for a lot of the night. However, the moon itself isn’t inherently dark- people still need it to get their eight hours. Even though the night’s job isn’t the same as the day’s, it’s still important...

...when the sun is hiding away. 

That little bit of poetry aside, Luigi’s ‘dark’ and ‘against the norm’ aesthetic can be seen pretty much everywhere you look, even if you’re not much for my metaphors.

Luigi’s flagship series being all about ghost-hunting in a spooky, dark mansion...

(Which, by the way, in Mario Super Sluggers, can only be accessed at NIGHT!!! !!!) 

Luigi being the one who has access to the mysterious and vague dream world powers, 

Whatever this was,

This fucking guy,

You get the point. 

Which leads me to my next point: Olivia and Olly are also Sun Sibling and Moon Sibling.

I’m sure this is fairly obvious to anyone who looks. Olivia is bubbly, excitable, friendly, and kind.

Olly is, um.

Not that. 

(Oh also, their colour schemes the ‘night’ and ‘day’ colour schemes of Scorching Sandpaper Desert. So there’s that.)

So now we’ve established that 

But here’s the thing. Siblings is not the same. See, there’s something different about Olly and Olivia compared to Mario and Luigi.

Olly is the older sibling. And just like that... Luigi’s primary reason for being a ‘moon’ sibling is just straight-up not available to Olly. Luigi got his quirks from being in Mario’s shadow, but Olly is new... fresh. He just is this way. It’s not a phase, CRAFTSMAN. 

This poses some... interesting ideas when it’s presented next to the Mario brothers, though. Olivia is the younger sibling, who seems to look up to Olly just as much as Luigi looks up to Mario. Or at least... she’d like to. 

Despite having LITERALLY NO EVIDENCE to believe this, Olivia spends the entire game saying that she believes Olly can be talked down from this. She almost treats Olly and his entire evil plan as two separate entities, almost like Olly is a damsel she has to rescue. Don’t get me wrong, she never shies away from saying her brother needs to be stopped, but considering what seemingly little reason Olly gives for her to believe he’s worth saving... (sorry Olly. You lived then you put your dad in a wall. Life’s tough like that. Also you put a rock on her.) She’s persistent. 

Imagine how that must feel to Mario, seeing someone- seeing a Luigi who’s not the meek, mysterious one, but just as bright and bubbly as him. They grow so close throughout all this, but... Mario isn’t HER brother. And Olivia isn’t HIS sibling. 

And neither of them forget that. Even for one second. 

It makes us almost sigh in relief that Mario is such a good role model to both Olivia and Luigi, because Olivia shows us this idea of the underdog sibling not HAVING a forever-kind older brother. It’s... kinda sad. No, really sad. Olivia and Olly WANT to be a pair, but neither of them agree. They both want to ‘save’ each other, but they must keep battling if they want their side to win. 

This on its own is pretty interesting, but I want to cover the ‘slightly missed potential’ part. If you think Olivia and Mario’s parallels are a good story bit... can you IMAGINE what Olly and Luigi would be like? 

Referencing my Luigi analysis again, I concluded that Luigi has a bit of an inferiority superiority complex- a TV trope where someone’s feelings of inadequacy are often masked by an overconfidence, trying to hide that horrible blemish. 

(Don’t worry. He gets better.) 

Now, I wouldn’t say Olly is secretly insecure or anything- far from it. He is, however, EXCEEDINGLY confident, in both his abilities and his beliefs. He truly seems to believe that the ways of origami are glorious and that folding the kingdom will be a sort of ‘rebirth’. The only thing that is motivated entirely by his rage (not that those other parts aren’t, this one is just really personal) is his wish to turn every Toad into blank paper. And why is that? 

Because the Origami Craftsman scribbled on him. It’s a blemish, and one that he keeps hidden VERY easily. (I mean, you don’t see it here, do you?) 

...Interestingly, Olly has this line here: 

He says he made Olivia ‘too perfect’. It’s backhanded, sure, but... it’s still a compliment. He thinks his sister is perfect. She is perfect. He is blemished.

The sun sibling is perfect...

The moon sibling isn’t. 

This is why I think Olly and Luigi should have had some form of interaction. Luigi is this perfect mentor figure for the young king. Even though he wouldn’t be able to make a dent in Olly’s ideology or Toad-hating, there is one thing... one thing Olly might still be able to turn to the good side for. 

His sister.

Despite the fact that Origami Castle gets folded to life before Mario’s very eyes, which is when Olly has asked time and time again for Olivia to join him, and she’s still refused, the castle is still LITTERED with decorations of BOTH OF THEM. 

Olly still loves his sister. And he doesn’t want to lose her- even if he is blinded by rage. I think if Luigi was around Olly somehow, for most of the game (my personal idea would be that Luigi just can’t be folded somehow and Olly has no choice but to keep him in Peach’s Castle because he might help Mario otherwise), then he could say, from personal experience, how blind rage doesn’t solve anything... how your relationship with your sibling is the most precious thing in the world, should you keep it correctly. 

How... he KNOWS Olivia really looks up to him and looks to him for guidance, because he’s the exact same way. And how Olivia needs her big brother. 

Maybe Olly has some second thoughts, but convinces himself it’ll all be for the greater good. He just needs to defeat that red plumber. 

That green plumber’s... big brother. 

All in all, I think it could really have made Olly and Olivia even more impactful than they already are. At least they finally get reunited...

Even if it’s only for a brief moment. 

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey, hope you’re doing well and staying sane! It’s been a year and one week since my city went into lockdown mode and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Question regarding your wonderfully zany HP fics - I’m a personal fan of “When Harry...” and “October” - have you ever considered an AU where Tom was the one born a girl, or would the crushing patriarchy of the 1940s Muggle Britain and the Wizarding World (witches must have babies!) in general doom that sort of premise?

You ask a very interesting question.

I’ve dithered with this idea off and on but I’ve always concluded it’d be such an overwhelming task that it invariably gets set to the side.

Because I think it’s highly likely that a female Tom Riddle would not have become Voldemort. Or, at least, not as we know him.

So here’s some general thoughts.

Female Tom Riddle’s Name Would Not Be Derivative of Tom

I imagine that Merope, dying on the orphanage floor, would still blindly name her son Tom Marvolo Riddle, after his father and her father, nevermind that the child is a girl.

Now, Mrs. Cole is a harsh woman with a difficult job, but I imagine she’s not needlessly cruel to infants. She’s not going to name this poor girl “Tom Marvolo” even if it is her mother’s dying wish. 

I imagine, as a result, Tom ends up with a very normal, English, girl’s name like Susan, Elizabeth, Jane, Victoria, etc. (We’ll go with Susan so I can just keep a consistent name for the rest of this post). 

This of course means right away that, even if Lord Voldemort does happen he’s not called Lord Voldemort, because Tom’s name isn’t Tom and we don’t get the same anagram.

As I’m terrible at anagrams, personally, one of you can look at Susan Elizabeth Riddle and tell me what you come up with.

Susan’s Antichrist Orphan Years

I doubt Susan’s antichrist years would have been quite the same as Tom’s. She probably won’t be getting in the same kind of physical scraps every other day of the week. That said, I’m sure she’s a hellion on wheels and just as if not more psychologically vicious than Tom ever was. Girls can be mean and I imagine Susan lets this fly.

She may also end up being more careful, though, than Tom was. Although she’s  a little girl and witches are traditionally women, that may make it less easy to spot, she’s a very pretty thing and probably very charming.

I think, for example, Dumbledore’s misogyny will work against him. Tom Riddle he recognized as an immediate threat, I’m sure Susan will just remind him of Arianna (who suffered similar outbursts, had a similar impoverished upbringing, and Dumbledore just never takes women seriously). 

He’d still be disapproving when she gets sorted into Slytherin but we’d likely see him react to that in the manner he interacts with Leta Lestrange in Crimes of Grindelwald: where he just lectures to her about what a shame it is she has traveled down this path of Slytherinhood and she can still be saved.

As a result, and this is where things go haywire in my head, Susan will likely not have the same antagonistic relationship with Dumbledore. Oh, I think she likely loathes him entirely for looking down on her, but I don’t think he’d light her wardrobe on fire for example. I also don’t know if she’d make the parseltongue reveal.

Hogwarts

Given what we do see of sexism among the purebloods (it seems like a very patriarchical society) I imagine that Susan is treated a lot more like, say, Lily Evans. She’s brilliant, but never acknowledged as the most brilliant student in Hogwarts, always as the most brilliant witch and then compared to her male peers who are in fact far dumber than she is.

Slughorn probably still loves her, but no matter what she does, Malfoy will always be treated as better than she is.

This, combined with her effectively being muggleborn, I’m sure makes for a very angry Susan. However, I don’t know if she’d let loose the basilisk.

To me, that always screamed a nervous breakdown and existential crisis on Tom Riddle’s part. He finally finds the truth, that he is in fact the heir of this great family legacy, and it doesn’t matter at all.

Susan faces not only the issues over her blood but also that she is a woman. So, I think in that, she might not open the chamber of secrets. Instead she’d just be even angrier that she’s the heir of Slytherin but knows damn well the man himself would never acknowledge her because she’s a woman.

Post Hogwarts

I imagine that Susan would not be able to find employment where even Tom was able to. She might, that said, be able to get the Defense (or perhaps Muggle Studies, I’m sorry I can’t help it) position as Dumbledore wouldn’t be actively working against her. In this position I imagine she’d sit and stew for a long time, trying to decide what it is she wants to do here and knowing this isn’t quite it.

If she wants to climb into power, I imagine she’d have to do so through marriage, and the likely candidate for that is Alphard Black, who never otherwise married. I always pictured Alphard was very likely gay, and I imagine Susan would figure that out, and act as his beard and help (somewhat) appease his family. They probably aren’t thrilled he married a muggleborn.

She then pushes Alphard to run for minister, essentially makes herself Eva Peron, and fabulouses her way into power and before we all know it Susan is essentially minister and how do you like them apples, Malfoy?!

If she dreams up a Lord Voldemort persona... I am not sure she would, given everything. But if she did, I think she’d realize that Lord Voldemort is a man, not a woman, and would cross dress. The pureblood aristocracy, despite respecting figures like Morgan le Fey, would never follow a woman’s revolution. This would make things very awkward when Bellatrix Black starts hitting on her.

I imagine Dumbledore would never quite figure out who Voldemort is either, because it could never occur to him that it was sad little Susan Riddle. And Harry of course would be floored that it’s a woman.

But, again, I don’t think the Voldemort future as we know it from canon would be all that likely to happen. 

Ships

That said, I’m not sure why since I consider Tom Riddle bisexual, but I imagine Susan is a raging lesbian. No real reason, except perhaps that I don’t think she could abide being romantically entangled with someone who had a natural superior position to society than she did. Which means of course if I ever wrote this it’d turn into femslash Lily Evans/Susan Riddle somehow.  

Because that’s what I do.

Conclusion

But yes, the long and short is I have thoughts, but once I get thinking about it I go “whoa, we’re getting far from our source material here” and decide to focus back on what I’m writing right now.

It’s an interesting thought experiment but one that would yield not only an entirely different character but an entirely different world. 

[hercleverboy]

unrequited

spencer reid x reader 

summary ↠ the reader is in love with spencer. he’s not in love her.

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ none

word count ↠ 3.4K

“I loved you as Icarus loved the sun- too close, too much.” — David Jones

It was a cold evening in late September when Y/N told Spencer Reid how she felt. How over the time they’d been friends since she joined the BAU, she’d fallen harder and harder for him, with every smile and every laugh, she loved Spencer just that little bit more. 

The team knew, of course. They were profilers for goodness sake. In  fact, the only member of the team who seemed oblivious to her affections was the man who was the subject of them. With a final push from her best friend Garcia, Y/N had finally decided that night would be the night she told him, confessed that she wanted him and only him for the rest of her days. She hyped herself up, boosted her confidence, told herself that he probably liked her too, right? She was excited to be with him, to live all the dreams she’d had of their life together. Soon, it wasn’t going to just be a crush, they’d be together. 

but nothing’s ever that simple, is it?

It was foolish of her, she supposed. To think for even a second that he would want her like she wanted him. She knew the moment the words left her lips and were met with complete silence that he didn’t feel that way. She could see it in the way his face dropped, how mouth opening and closing as he searched for something to say. 

“I’m in love with you, Spencer.”

say something, anything, don’t make me feel stupid, but please say something- 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

oh god no, oh god, he doesn’t feel the same, you idiot, how could he? you’re you, you’re his- 

“I don’t feel that way about you. You’re my best friend, and I love you, just not in that way.”

you’re his best friend. 

Y/N felt her heart break.

“Oh. Okay.”

That was all she could manage. Her head raced and her chest burned, it burned her like a raging fire within her about to explode- 

“I’m so sorry Y/N.  I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry if I ever said anything that made you think otherwise I-” 

“No, god no Spence. This is my fault. I um- I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

just apologise Y/N, you’re sorry. you’ve ruined everything. 

“Y/N I don’t want things to change between us.” There were tears in his eyes and she wondered why he was the one crying. 

“They won’t, I promise. I’m just gonna need some time, okay?” She asked, moving away from him, putting some space between them seemed like a good idea. 

“Time? What? Please, I don’t want to lose you.” He spluttered, and Y/N wanted to shout but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t, not at him. It wasn’t his fault. 

“You’re not losing me. I swear it. But I need a few days, maybe even weeks to figure things out. Then I’ll be back and better than ever. Okay?” She didn’t even believe the words as they left her lips. Perhaps if she said them enough she’d start to believe them. 

He nodded.

She wiped her tears and gave him a smile, one that she hoped convinced him she was okay, like her throat wasn’t screaming at her, like her heart didn’t feel like it was burning, like she didn’t feel like she was going to throw up. 

“Well, I’m going to go but I’ll see you later okay.” She hated how hard she was trying to make it seem like she was fine. Like his rejection hadn’t killed her inside. 

She left swiftly, and only when she was sat in her car did she let it hit her. She sobbed her heart out, wondering what was wrong with her. Why the only guy she wanted, didn’t want her. She pulled herself together long enough to drive home.

When she stepped over the threshold of her apartment she let everything out again, sliding down against her front door as soon as it shut behind her. She brought her knees up to her chest and sobbed into them. 

She’d never felt a pain like this before. 

It hurt so fucking bad. 

After what felt like hours, she took some deep breaths, wiping her cheeks and pulling out her phone and calling Hotch. 

“Hotchner.”

“Hi Hotch, it’s Y/N I’m just calling to ask if I can take some days off.”

“Can I ask why?”

The question made her feel like breaking down all over again. Apart from Spencer, Penelope and Derek, Hotch was surprisingly one of the people in the team she was closest to. He saw her almost like a daughter.

“Y/N? I know I’m your boss, but you’re like family. You can tell me.” His voice was stern as always, but she knew the caring undertone there was behind it. 

And so she did. She let out a heart-wrenching cry, “I told Spencer how I feel. He doesn’t feel the same.” She whimpered out, still trying to hold it together but everything just hurt so badly. “I just need a few days or maybe even weeks to figure out everything. But I promise when I get back I’ll be ready to work, better than ever. I just can’t work alongside him whilst it’s still so fresh.” 

“I completely understand Y/N. Take as much time as you need. You’ll have your place on the team when you’re ready to come back. And as for Spencer, it’s really his loss.” 

“Thank you Hotch. I’ll check in with you in a few days.” She finished, hanging up the call. 

And that was that. 

What followed was 3 weeks of Y/N moping around her apartment.

The first week she was sad. 

She spent it crying into pints of various flavours of ice cream as she watched shitty romantic films on Netflix. She decided she just needed to let herself feel it. She couldn’t push away the pain. She had to let herself feel angry and upset in order to get through her emotions and come out stronger.

Spencer didn’t love her, at least not in the way she wanted him to. She was going to have to deal with that.

Penelope visited, and they’d sit together as Y/N explained her upset and Penelope held her as she cried. Derek visited too, and at first he was angry at Spencer for hurting her, but Y/N assured him it was okay, that she’d get over it. Hotch called every day to check up on her, like the fatherly figure he was, just to double check she was doing okay. Spencer tried to contact her, but she didn’t answer. Not to be petty, but she was trying to forget that she was so very in love with him, and texting him would only make that worse.

The second week, she was angry. 

She tried numerous hobbies to deflect her pain. Anytime she thought of Spencer, she would bake a batch of cookies or a cake, and get Penelope to take them in for the team next time she visited her. 

Many times during the second week, she had wrecked her apartment in her anger. She would go through spouts of pure rage where she threw some things and shattered others. (Honestly she had to fork out a lot of money on new glasses and mugs because she kept throwing them at walls.)

She wasn’t angry at Spencer. Okay, she was a little bit, but not really. It wasn’t his fault. You don’t choose who you fall in love with, after all. She was angry at herself for falling for someone who would obviously never want her. 

how could you have been so stupid?

She was angry that no one seemed to want her. That’s all she wanted, love and affection and she couldn’t seem to get it. No matter how hard she tried.

Finally, with the third week came acceptance.

She was beginning to get over Spencer Reid. It would be a long and hard journey, but she was strong, she could do it. The thought of him rejecting her love still hurt, but it no longer burned her. She could handle being his best friend, she could handle working alongside him.

She was ready to face the world, and him. 

When she stepped through the doors of the bullpen, after nearly a month of absence, she was met with a chorus of happy gasps and cheers.

“There she is! Hey Pretty Girl.” Derek, who’d become like a brother to her was the first to speak as he came up, wrapping his arms around her in a brotherly hug, lifting her off the ground. “You feeling better?” He murmured.

“Yes, I am, Thank you D.” She smiled, using the nickname she’d given him a few weeks after she started. 

“Oh! My turn!” Penelope smiled, hugging Y/N as soon as Derek released her.

“Pen! I saw you like two days ago.” Y/N laughed.

“And that was two days too many, my love.”

She also got hugs from Rossi, JJ and Emily, who had all missed her bright laughter and happy energy around the office and on cases.

“Y/N.” Hotch’s voice made her turn around to face him, and he wore a rare smile on his lips. “Glad to see you’re back. You ready to work?” He asked, bringing her in for a short hug.

“Yes sir.” She said sarcastically with a laugh, before she turned to the last person anxiously waiting to greet her.

“Hey, Spence.” She smiled, and it was genuine. She felt good.

“Hi, Y/N. I missed you.” He had missed her. Terribly. 

“I missed you too. Come here.” She smiled, opening her arms. He seemed surprised she wanted to hug him, but she really did. To prove there was no bad blood between them. To prove she really was moving on, and doing a damn good job of it. When he didn’t move, she threw her arms around him, smiling. And he hugged her back. He felt guilty, of course. Any member of the team could tell you he spent three weeks on edge, the guilt swallowing him whole. When she didn’t answer his texts it only got worse. It took Derek reminding him that she was in love with him, and that he’d really hurt her by rejecting her. That it was going to take her time and that she needed the separation to heal herself and her heart.

When she pulled back, she still had a smile on her lips, and Spencer didn’t need to be a profiler to know it was a real one.

“Let’s catch some bad guys, yeah?” She smirked.

Y/N kept her earlier promise to Spencer. They really were fine. Their relationship hadn’t changed at all. They still ate takeout and watched Doctor Who together on Saturday nights when they weren’t away on a case. They sat opposite to one another on the jet like they used to, Spencer trying to teach Y/N how to play chess but failing, because she wasn’t quite grasping the concept yet but she’d get there with his help. They still played around in the bullpen on boring, rainy paperwork days. Either teasing Derek or seeing how long they could get up to no good before Hotch told them off. (Well, he’d tell them off but you could see the small smile on his lips.)

They laughed and joked just like before and everything was great.

Some days when Y/N got home, she would let herself feel a little upset, but those days were few and far between. 

and then finally, after six hard months, Y/N could confidently say she was over Spencer Reid.

The team had been away for a week on a gruelling case, and on the jet home Rossi decided that the next night, they would have a dinner party at his house, just as a well done to the team for the good work. Hotch agreed it was a good idea, and so the next night, 7pm sharp, everyone began showing up to Rossi’s for a night of dancing, drinking and laughing with their little family.

Y/N arrived a little later, apologising for being late and greeting everyone with hugs.

“My lovely you look absolutely stunning!” Penelope, who had already had one too many fruity cocktails, gasped as she hugged her.

Y/N blushed and thanked her. She was wearing a peach coloured midi dress, that complimented her figure beautifully. She paired that with peach pink heels that matched the dress. It wasn’t much but she did look stunning.

 Or so Spencer thought.

Why did he think that? She was his best friend. But he couldn’t deny she looked absolutely gorgeous.

Little did she know, but over the last two weeks Spencer had started to feel something more for Y/N. He hadn’t really figured it out how or even why yet. 

She moved to greet him last, wrapping her arms around him with a giggle. “Hey Spence.”

“Hey. You look uh- you look beautiful.” He smiled, and she smiled too as she pulled back.

“Oh well Thankyou, Dr. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” She teased, before moving off to speak to Derek.

Spencer found himself watching her as she walked. He noticed how when she laughed, it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. How her smile seemed to brighten the room. How she was so effortlessly beautiful and he didn’t know how he’d never seen her like that before.

What had changed?

Later they were all sat around the dinner table, finishing up the gorgeous main meal rossi had cooked for them. They were all chatting amongst themselves. Derek, Emily and Y/N were deep in conversation on their end of the table with  Spencer sat next to Y/N, not really listening as Derek told them about his most recent sexual encounter.

“Gross, Derek. Don’t you want to find yourself a nice girl?” Y/N asked in a teasing manner.

“Alright Pretty Girl, how about you? You got anyone you want to tell us about?”

Y/N looked down as a blush tinted her cheeks.

Emily gasped. “That means yes!”

Derek held his hand out for a fist bump. “My girl! She’s finally got herself a man!” 

That caught Spencer’s attention.

Y/N rolled her eyes and fist bumped him with a small smile. “He’s not my man. At least not yet anyway. His name’s Jasper. We’ve been on a few dates, but I really like him. And I think it could go somewhere.” Emily and Derek cheered for her, and playfully toasted their drinks to her and Jasper.

Spencer, however, felt an odd feeling burn in the pit of his stomach at the mention of this Jasper guy being  ‘her man’. He tried to tell himself it wasn’t jealousy but as the night wore on it became blatantly obvious that that’s exactly what it was.

“You didn’t mention Jasper to me.” Spencer said as they gently swayed together. Everyone had been dancing. Y/N had danced with Derek as well has Hotch, and now danced slowly with her best friend.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just really new and I didn’t want to jinx anything.” She smiled up at him, and his grip tightened on her waist slightly. “I just- I really like this guy. He likes all the same stuff as me, and we get along really well.”

“I don’t want to hear anymore about him, thanks.” Spencer spat coldly, taking Y/N by surprise.

“Woah, what was that?” She asked, pulling back slightly to look at him.

“You’ve been talking about him all night. I was just saying you should give it a rest okay? I don’t care about this Jasper guy.” He snarled, ripping himself away from her and leaving the garden, going inside the house.

Derek looked at her in confusion from across the patio and she shrugged, mouthing that she’d go after him and see what was wrong.

She found him out on a balcony connected to one of the bedrooms.

“Spence?” She asked quietly. “What’s going on with you?”

He looked back at her and scoffed, shaking his head. She frowned. “Come on, you’re my best friend. You can tell me.”

“I don’t want to hear about how some guy has you, when I want you to be mine.” He mumbled, and Y/N struggled to hear him.

“I don’t understand, Spence?” She asked, placing a soothing hand on his shoulder.

He took a deep breath. “I love you.”

She giggled. “Oh, I love you too, Spence. But seriously, what’s up?”

He shook his head again, more determinedly. “No you don’t understand. I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

Her hand dropped from his shoulder. “You’re what?”

“I’m in love with you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out but I finally did.” He smiled, expecting her to be relieved. Didn’t she love him too?

“Spencer I don’t-“ She tried to figure out what to say. “I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

“What? You don’t just fall out of love with people that quickly, Y/N!” He was angry, and that made anger rise in Y/N too. What right did he have to be angry?

“I had no choice but to! What was I supposed to do? My best friend who I’d loved for years rejected me. I had to work alongside you Spence, I couldn’t risk losing my job over it. So I dealt with the pain of you breaking my heart.”

Spencer seemed to be understanding now. “Y/N I-“

“No, Spencer! I spent 3 weeks absolutely fucking heartbroken over you. I cried to Penelope and Derek more times than I could count. I got angry and I broke glasses and dishes. I looked myself in the mirror nearly every day and asked myself why I wasn’t good enough for you. But then you know what? I picked myself up. I fixed the heart that you broke, and I am so incredibly proud of myself. So you, Spencer Reid, have no right to stand there and tell me you love me after what I went through six months ago.” She was furious, how dare he? just when her life was getting good, when she’d met a nice guy that she really liked, Spencer had to ruin everything. All her hard work, everything she’d put into fixing herself seemed to start to crack.

“Y/N I’m sorry but I had to tell you how I felt, I can’t live without you knowing I love yo-“

“Shut up!” She yelled. “Don’t say it, please don’t say it.” She cried.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“You’re selfish, Spencer! You know that? You’re the most selfish man I’ve ever met. How could you do this to me?” She asked, exasperated.

He couldn’t seem to find an appropriate answer.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” She shook her head and quickly left the balcony, rushing out the room and down the stairs with tears in her eyes as Spencer called after her desperately.

Her teary eyes met Derek’s as she reached the bottom step, and he was immediately at her side, holding her into him as she cried.

“I have to get out of here, Derek. I’ll tell you everything, just, take me home please?” She asked and he nodded. Just as Spencer came down the staircase after her, calling out her name again.

Derek looked between Y/N in his arms, and Spencer who stood at the bottom of the staircase with tears in his own eyes. It didn’t take a profiler to figure out something bad had gone down.

“Y/N please-“ Spencer tried, moving towards her but Derek held his hand out as a signal for him to stop.

“Stay there, Reid. Haven’t you done enough?” He spat, venom in his words.

Spencer was easily one of Derek’s best friends on the team. But he very quickly grew very protective of Y/N, taking a sort of elderly brother role to her. He knew what she’d been through to pick herself up after Spencer, and he’d had to watch as the woman he considered a sister tore herself apart for three weeks. and so god help him If whatever had just happened between them led to her hard work being ruined. He’d rip that kid a new one.

Spencer watched as Derek comforted Y/N, leading her outside to the car. As the doors closed behind them, the team gathered around behind Spencer, asking him what had happened. But all he could do was stare after her helplessly, tears trembling down his own cheeks.

[mountain-man-cumeth]

How would you rewrite Muriel’s route?

This is the 3rd question I got with similar vibes so imma begin by saying that I am not a writer. I am a reader, a decent one, but I’m not the idea guy. I will try, though, since it seems like people are interested for some reason.

First of all I'd make some baseline changes to set the backstory proper;

Muriel chose the mantle of Lucio's executioner willingly, him and Asra had no other means to survive so they willingly worked as indentured servants under Lucio. He reasoned with himself thinking these are bad people and that he has no other skills to offer. (There might be a threat on Lucio's part that they can be replaced, he doesn't have to had given a villain speech for the implication. He is a rich tyrant and they are street kids, it the service they provide isn't up to par Lucio can easily look for alternative options.) Let me be clear, Muriel was not a gladiator. Gladiators are compensated generously for the entertainment they provide and often due to the amount of investment made on them, fighting to death wasn't a common occurrence. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Muriel, or rather the Scourge was well known and probably liked by the crowd, there's literally no reason for Lucio to utilize him otherwise. He wants people to enjoy the show, if everybody hated Muriel what use is he to Lucio?

Kokhuri are alive. The tribe had to relocate but they left Khamgalai to tend to the graves. They are nomadic and matriarchal people who likely don't adhere to mother-father-child kind of European family structure. The children are raised communally.

Muriel's curse has nothing to do with myrrh, there's a rune that can counter it and only he knows how to make it, he figured it out by himself for Asra. Any magic that can nullify a spell by Major Arcana is no doubt strong as fuck.

I'd start similar to main 3, MC is tasked to find Lucio's murderer. They find Muriel's brush or loincloth or whatever early on which leads them to the forest but because of the protective spells and the curse they get lost. They ran into Muriel or Inanna and she leads them to Muriel hunched over the corpse. They try to help, like the canon, and have a brush with Lucio's goat ghost. They tell him they were looking for the Scourge and Muriel says there's no Scourge here.

The day after they forget about Muriel but remember the rest and relay that information to Asra, who gets agitated by Lucio's return. He thinks Lucio is here for MC's body but doesn't explain anything, instead begs them to leave town until he figures something out.

They go to see Muriel and he reluctantly agrees to accompany them to the outskirts of the forest, on Asra's request.

Some point on their road trip Asra water-calls them to inform them that Lucio is looking for hearts and the Magician (or whoever else Asra consulted) implied they might find answers South. MC still doesn't know anything except maybe some comments Muriel could have made that painted Lucio in a bad light but they decide to investigate regardless. Muriel opposes, eventually caves (either thanks to MC or Asra). He lets out that he's been tailing MC on Asra's behalf for years so it shouldn't be that much different.

They go from town to town, MC helps Muriel ease into dealing with people again and it's easier since nobody knows jack about Scourge. They learn that he enjoys card games and collecting trinkets from different cultures. He might even get a little too enthusiastic about plants and gives random advice to a gardener.

We might learn here that Muriel doesn't like feeling that he's on a display or that he's performing. He prefers to lay low and blend in, not necessarily completely shut off the world.

They run into Morga(maybe they encounter raiders or a barfight or something alike), who's also been tracking Lucio. She proposes to work together. She berates Muriel for being a coward and convinces him to fight as that's all he's good for. (I think it's better if MC trains on magic rather than archery, I'm seeing alot of disabled MCs.)

She tries to train them but Muriel doesn't respond well to fighting and eventually Morga leaves. Valdemar or Vulgora catches them, Lucio's still trying to get MC's body. They escape just barely, MC gets hurt, Muriel beats himself up over it, some angst some fluff, you know the drill. Maybe he has a panic attack because panic attacks are usually not as on the nose as "Oh No I Gotta Fight Someone With a Knife". Looking for a shelter and aid, they find a cottage which turns out to be Khamgalai's. She helps them out, teaches Muriel how to heal using the techniques of their clan, I assume MC helps since they know some restorative spells too. She tells Muriel his family sent him away when they got ambushed so he wouldn't have to live on the run as Morga's clan was on a war path to conquer South. We get sad, lots of tears. Kisses might ensue.

Somehow it's revealed that this is the answer they were looking for and not Lucio (because I think the whole "Lucio's clan" plot was redundant) and Morga was just using them as bait to get Lucio out of Vesuvia.

Morga catches on to them, we learn who she is, Muriel and MC confront her but Khamgalai says her warmongering already costed her everything. She says she's trying to make up for it by killing her son and she needs MC to lure him out, they agree to work together, begrudgingly. (MC's past can be revealed here since they need to learn what's the deal with Lucio's obsession of them at some point)

Around this point MC might realize the mark's fading, Muriel brushes it off.

Instead of Lucio, Devil comes and tells them about Lucio's plan to do the ritual again. They go back to Vesuvia to warn people

Masquerade happens, people remember Muriel, Nadia or MC or someone give people an ultimatum. But oh no it was a TRAP all along, Devil told them of the ritual to get them right where he wanted. Lucio gets in MC's body, Asra sends them to the Arcana realm, same story as main 3.

MC forgets Muriel on the Arcana realm but through the power of love and maybe some guidance from the Hermit they go "oh no i forgot my boy". They return to find him in the Coliseum. What?! He was the Scourge?! Who could've thought. (this reveal wouldn't affect MC's opinion at this point since they already know he's a cinnamon roll)

This time Lucio's blackmailing him with MC's body. He says he needs hearts to make himself a new one and if Muriel grabs some for him MC can get their body back.

Story diverges to Upright/Reversed

Upright, if MC encouraged him to take it easy, but take it: MC snatches the body of someone he's suppose to fight to change his mind, he decides not to do it and instead go with defeating Lucio on the Arcana realm plan(curtesy of their friends). So here we can have a romantic scene like in Nadia's route where his chains are broken in the Arena.

They fuck around in the Arcana realm facing their fears and stuff, they bond, defeat Lucio, petrify the Devil etc. I like to think Muriel finds the forest spirit here, too, and maybe manages to heal it or learns that it's damaged but with enough time and care it will regrow. (a metaphor? in my arcana game? its more likely than you think)

Morga is charged for war crimes by the Kokhuri, the Coliseum is demolished and the love birds travel around doing their thing.

Reversed, if MC encouraged him to be strong and uncaring: MC fails to convince him and he decides to go through with Lucio's plan. He kills Morga and some more important spirits and fucks up the world. Which turns out to be a bogus plan anyways, Lucio only needed the hearts to settle his deal and Muriel kills him, too (I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!)

Without a body MC is stuck in the other realm so Muriel and them retreat to the magic dimension, defeat the Devil and live the rest of their days.

There might also be a 50 first dates situation going on inwhich they get stuck in a loop where MC constantly meets and falls in love with Muriel only to forget him in a couple of (magic realm)days.

idk man this aint my job im just spitballing here, im writing this long ass thing so ill look like im working

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Chan: Homewrecker (Part Three)

Characters: Chan x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, implied abuse, a lil bit of fluff toward the end???

Word count: 1,888

Summary: Chan caught your attention as soon as your eyes met across the market. Something about him drew you to him, and you knew you were meant to be. However, you were already taken and arranged to be married on your next birthday, so you could never be together.

Previous | Next | Homewrecker Masterlist

“And where do you think you’re going, kid?”

Chan froze, turning around to see Soonyoung looking at him with a smirk and arms folded across his chest. He assumed the alphas wouldn’t want him sneaking out, especially not if they knew he was going into town again. There had been strange men wandering the woods, and the pack had confirmed they were guards and werewolf hunters, so they had to lay low for a while. But  Chan had to see you. He was going crazy thinking about what could’ve happened to you, especially now that your fiancé apparently suspected what he was. You were seen with them, and you said you were friends with them. He had to make sure you were safe and okay.

“Look, I know it’s not safe, but I have to see _____,” Chan tried to desperately explain, keeping his voice hushed in case Seungcheol wasn’t asleep just yet. “What if Donghae did something to her?”

Soonyoung nodded lazily, “I get it, she’s your mate. I’m not going to baby you.”

“I know I-- Wait…you’re not?”

It was normal for Chan to be treated like a child – although, sometimes he liked it when it was one of the girls – so he was surprised that Soonyoung, the one who picked on him the most, was being so understanding. Normally, Soonyoung didn’t seem to care too much about the mate thing, especially considering he was always going out to sleep around – though he hadn’t tried anything like that since hitting on you.

“No, I’m not,” he chuckled. “Chan, I know I don’t get the mating pull thing, but I understand how it must feel. We all had to see the heartbreak from Josh and Seungkwan firsthand, and the last thing I want is to have to see anything like that again. Whatever you have to do, you need to do it. Just promise me to keep yourself safe too.”

Chan was surprised by Soonyoung’s words, but he was also touched. Obviously what happened to Joshua was tragic -- it was almost tragic with Seungkwan, too -- and everyone was upset seeing him heartbroken, but he didn’t know that Soonyoung actually…well, cared.

“I will,” the younger wolf nodded. “Thanks, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung nodded his head toward the backdoor, “I suggest you make your escape that-a-way. Front door’s a bit squeaky lately.”

Chan gave one final nod before racing out the backdoor, silently but quickly following the pull to you.

-

You knew your family took notice, from the way your sister’s eyes widened before leaving the room, to the way your mother bit her lip and fought the terrified look in her eyes, to the way your father awkwardly coughed and pretended to not notice. They knew Donghae had hit you – a lot – and he would definitely do it again, especially now that he knew you associate with the werewolves.

No matter how many times you insisted you didn’t know, Donghae wouldn’t let up, insisting you were a werewolf-lover. He even threatened your life if the wolves didn’t kill you first.

You didn’t know why, though, but you weren’t afraid. Chan had shown nothing but kindness, and the others you met clearly didn’t mean any harm since they never did anything to hurt you. In fact, you felt…oddly fond of the brown-haired boy. But you knew you’d probably never see him again; not when Donghae was going to be watching your every move – literally.

But even if they were werewolves, at least none of them hit you.

As you laid in bed that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. Your body was still sore from what Donghae had done to you, and you had stayed in bed all day just because moving hurt. You still couldn’t believe you had to marry him, but that was your fate. And man, did fate suck.

Staring at the ceiling in silence, you heard your window on the second floor slide open. You tried to sit up, but your muscles screamed in pain, and your arms ultimately shook before you collapsed back on your bed, your head falling against your pillow.

“Ah, don’t get up!” Chan whispered urgently, seeing how you couldn’t even hold yourself up. “It’s just me.”

You watched at the boy easily climbed in through your window, landing silently on the wooden floor. He smiled softly at you, but it quickly fell when he took in your appearance. Your skin was littered with bruises and your lip was healing from being split -- and the skin of your left arm was raised just a bit right at the top of your inner forearm below the bend of your elbow, a reminder that Chan should’ve expected all of this from Donghae when he was the reason there was a tracker implanted in you.

You didn’t want him to worry about you, so you offered a weak smile, “How did you find me?”

His eyes that scanned your exposed skin flashed back up to yours – you noticed they were gold instead of the brown you were used to, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“You know,” you began, letting out a soft sigh, “Donghae already told me he thinks you’re monsters…”

Chan’s mouth parted, wanting to say something but he didn’t know what. What if you thought he was a monster too? What if you denied him?

‘Of course she will,’ he reminded himself, ‘she’s engaged.’

“Is that why he did this?” was all Chan could get out. “Because of me?”

He felt awful. It was his fault you got hurt this badly, and he couldn’t even protect you. Even now, he couldn’t do anything. It wasn’t like he could kidnap you and take you with him. The entire town would be out looking for you, and Donghae already had hunters searching the woods for them now.

You saw the broken look in Chan’s eyes as he continued to look over your injuries, and it made you feel sad, “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’ll heal.”

“Why are you trying to make me feel better?” Chan laughed, sounding both angry and upset. “I did this to you; this happened because of me!”

While his voice was harsh, he kept it a whisper so he wouldn’t alert anybody of his presence. The last thing he wanted now was your family finding out there was a strange boy in your room and you getting into even more trouble than he already did.

You forced yourself to sit up despite the protests of your limbs. Chan helped you up, his warm hands soothing against the ache in your body.

“I don’t blame you,” you told him sincerely. “Chan, I’m only mad at Donghae. …Well, afraid is more like it.”

Finally, he asked quietly, “Don’t you think I’m a monster?”

“A-are you really…a werewolf?” you wondered just above a whisper, chewing on your bottom lip.

He knew he’d have to come clean at some point, so he might as well just do it early on. You already were told he was anyway.

“All of my brothers are,” he nodded slowly. “There’s thirteen of us – not counting mates.”

You thought over his confession. While Donghae had told you, you thought maybe he was just crazy. But knowing he was right was a weird feeling, one you couldn’t describe.

However, you realized it didn’t change anything. You still preferred being around Chan over Donghae any day, and you felt much safer having the werewolf around than your own fiancé. In fact, even just having Chan here in your room felt like a dream that was too good to be real.

Chan waited nervously for you to say something, trying to keep his inner wolf at bay as he stared at the odd lump on your arm. He still couldn’t believe that was put there and your family didn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t believe someone was so vile as to do that to another human being.

“Chan,” you finally spoke up, making his yellow eyes dart to your face. To his relief, you at least didn’t look disgusted, “the only person I think is a monster is Donghae. You are far from a monster.”

The pup couldn’t help it as his face broke out into a relieved smile, and it took everything in him to not wrap you up in his arms and cover your face with kisses. He did let out a content hum in his chest, which you heard rumble through your quiet room. 

“Really?” he grinned, finally deciding to sit on the edge of your bed, facing you with one leg resting on the mattress while the other stayed on the floor. “This really doesn’t bother you?”

“You’ve helped me more than he has,” you gave a quiet chuckle with a shrug. “Besides, you’re more like a…a puppy than anything.”

At that, he frowned, “I am not.”

You watched as Chan’s eyes went down to your left arm, a place he’d been looking often. He had forgotten about the tracker for the last couple days, and seeing the bump reminded him and only made him more and more upset. Slowly, he reached toward your arm, making sure you weren’t going to pull away out of fear or otherwise. His strong hand held your forearm softly as he leaned closer to examine it.

“Can I ask what happened when this was implanted?” he wondered softly. “Although, I’m not really sure I want to know…”

You inhaled deeply, knowing what happened to your arm would upset Chan more than anything else he could physically see, “Chan… Look, I promise it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Really?” he quizzed, gesturing to the same arm that was covered in bruises. “This seems like a big deal.”

You didn’t know how to reply, so you just stayed silent as Chan continued to rub his thumb over the chip. 

“We have to get you out of here,” he stated, his body beginning to shake with rage.

He was surprised your next question wasn’t you wondering why in the hell you’d leave with someone who was not only a stranger, but a werewolf of all things.

“How?” you asked quietly, watching as Chan stewed in his own anger. “He’ll find me no matter where I go.”

“I’ll figure it out,” he promised, finally meeting your eyes. Somehow, looking at you calmed him. “Until then, I promise to visit you every night, okay? It’s not safe to meet in the market anymore if Donghae can track you.”

You frowned, “But what if you get caught in the woods? He sent hunters out there to look for you and the rest of your pack.”

“I won’t,” he swore, his jaw set, and his eyes showing his sureness. “I know it sounds absurd, but I’ll do anything to keep you safe, _____.”

“Why?” you laughed softly. “You barely know me.”

“That’s…a story for another day. You should sleep now. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

So you laid back down, letting the kind wolf tuck you in before he shifted beside you on the bed. He hummed softly as you closed your eyes, trying to help you sleep faster.

Right before you drifted off, you felt a warm hand running through your hair.

[zypiris]

I had a dream, which really stuck with me. That’s normal for me, I have full ass movie plots. This was right after I started looking into aromantic stuff for my story and got blindsided (again) with a lot of “Hey, that sure sounds familiar”. I have given up trying to figure out what any of my gender or sexuality is doing. It can work it out and then tell me. Anyways, I spent about 5 hours writing out my dream, fighting the ADHD the entire way, and I wanted to clean it up before I posted it but... that was a month ago. Have fun.

We were finishing up a mission on an RV and were visiting the new burger king. There was a nice dog. We rode home and saw this guy surfing on tires, complete with rims, down the highway via a rope attached to the car pulling him. My team and I were outraged that he was flaunting road safety, there were sparks everywhere. We go to follow him and the car is putting out a full pyrotechnic display. There are fireworks and flame towers. And this guy's just cruising along on various none-road safe items. The car starts trying to bump us. But we're an RV. It has no hope in hell. We finally chase them across several highways into the hills. The RV and this smug bastard are neck to neck. And then he lifts his helmet and we realize its the British superhero 00X who has telekinesis. We worked with him. Earlier today, in fact. We were allies. There is searing rage and burning betrayal.

And then I jump back in time. We're working well with him. As a cat themed hero, I'm great at doing distractions or sudden attacks from behind, and we often get paired so he can get me to a place that's "completely impossible to access". Our tech guy Wade is a super genius and has been finding lots of a new symbol in hacks of locked systems. We've been thrown together to investigate, with us being the hired team to perform recon and up to a grade B attempt to stop, and him having security clearance/trusted status with several of the companies and countries who have been hit.

Our leader is Red Ranger, who has fighting powers and the ability to summon a lightsaber for some reason. They never leave their armor suit. They're excited we've gotten a chance to get attention on something this high profile. We also have their girlfriend, Blossom, who can grow, control, hear through, and genetically manipulate plants in real time. The only reason we had her was her relationship with RR, otherwise she would have already been assigned to a national level team. (we're town level still). So, we're working well with 00X, and have gotten access to a 'completely normal' ice company in Canada. Turns out to be the secret lair of another super genius, a villain hacker who is trying to control the worlds hockey leagues. 00X takes me in to scout, and the twist is that the computer hacker is also a giant computer brain (which is why it was lairing in ice).

We don't have the team or support for a multinational case like this, so we quietly withdraw and turn it over to some major leaguers. We'd get the info bonus, but none of the publicity. So, my team and 00X were traveling back to our meet-up point, where 00X had stashed his car, and talking about what the reaction would be if we leaked the story to the papers. I was sad he was leaving because we were a good team, and usually I was too ineffective to be much use. I had the power to... jump. About 7 feet. Nobody talked about it but if we did get picked up, it would be them and not me. The insurance would never cover me, I was "too unpowered to defend and protect self".

I tried not to let it hurt, the scholarships would get me into the future of my choice. But once I burned my mask, I wasn't allowed to interact with heroes anymore, and I was going to miss my team. Heroing eats your time so much, they're usually your only friends. So, we waved a sad farewell, and as we all went to climb back into the RV I found a scrap of paper with 00X's private number on it asking me on a date. That was surprising. And flattering. But not exciting. Something to think about off the clock. We were heading over to Burger King to grab dinner.

Then I jump forward in time. 00X is careening away from us on a road too narrow to follow. We are left stunned and in shock. What was the point of that? Why is this going on? There's a loud click from the front of the RV. Wade usually drives it by radio control, so no one noticed there was a large camcorder in the stairs next to the door. We open it to find footage of us, taken as we work and plan and joke together with 00X. How our powers work, what our personalities are, the stuff that makes us angry and upset. Hours of footage. Was this all a spy op for a foreign power? WHAT was going on? How did he get the footage? How did it get on the RV?? We all agree it was not there or anywhere near there when we got on after Burger King. And none of us ever saw a camera, not that that's a huge comfort these days. But the angles he'd gotten, the close-ups...

Wade fast forwards to the end. Our faces stop and change to his. He lectures us all for being naive, for thinking that someone of HIS class would associate with US for no reason. It hurts to hear, Blossom is very indignant and RR is talking about their failure as team leader. And it hurts me, a little. Was the date for intelligence gathering? Or... much more bizarrely, was it genuine? Did he expect me to pick him over my friends? I realize this is finally something I can do, something only I can do. I jump out of the skylight.

He catches me at the height of my arc, and vwoops me up on the hill overlooking the pass where the RV had gotten stuck. He had been waiting for me, specifically. He was so glad I'd come. I spoke cautiously and asked what he thought he could offer me that would make me turn heel. They had much higher insurance premiums because of blatantly discriminatory reasons. He told me to give him my hand. I was too curious to turn this down, so I did. He pinched his fingers out in front of us, and there was a shining thread I could see between them. He pulled it and then vanished. I could still feel his hand holding mine but he was truly invisible. That was a pretty high level power, and mostly of the 'just really good camouflage' sort.

Fingers snapped and he came back, and said he could show me how to do that along with walking through walls. I was so excited. I'd actually get a choice in how my life went. If another of us classed up, we'd be automatically bumped up for a trial period. The RV was now turning around to head back to town. Then he slid a ring on my finger and said that wasn't the only thing he could show me. It was a little loose and I was worried it'd fall off and 00X would take it as a bad omen.

So, I smiled and asked when we'd get started, and he said right now. He showed me how to pinch the walls of reality, so I could break through them. I could turn invisible, reach through objects and people, climb shear cliffs, and run on water by the time it got dark out. We climbed down from the road to the river at the bottom, and I got familiar with how everything worked. He said there was one more thing to learn, and that would be for tomorrow when I was rested. I asked how much he had practiced pinching to stand in thin air. We had sex.

The next day, he came to meet me at my house. I hadn't gotten in costume yet and he was in civvies. He said his name was James, and that was why he'd picked his codename. His liaison had kept trying to talk him out of it because it was dorky and too easy to guess, but he stuck with it. I told him my real name. I was still wearing the ring. I was starting to wonder if I'd be able to turn back when the time came.

We got suited up and vanished. He took me to the ice factory where we'd found the hacker computer. We hid behind cars until everyone was gone, and then we snuck into this ice closet. There was a clock on the wall, and he showed me how to pinch through time. It was amazing We went back to the morning of yesterday. I looked to him, he nodded. We left and showed up at the meet up place before my time from yesterday/today came. He handed me the camcorder and asked if I'd be ok holding myself invisible all day. I was thrilled to be able to test my new abilities.

The RV got here, and soon after came yesterday's 00X. I went invisible and climbed onboard the RV while everyone was saying hello, and got myself up on a shelf out of the way. I took video of everyone and myself. It was so weird to see myself outside a mirror. I made sure I spent an equal time on everyone except the old 00X, who I found staring in my direction periodically. I wondered if he was actually from my tomorrow. The time came for them to storm the ice factory. I didn't really know what to do with myself while they were gone, but I knew I needed to be around so I could drop the camera off after the Burger King chase. James had told me you could pinch forward anywhere and only back from the closet, but I didn't want to risk it.

After about 5 minutes, James pinched in to the locked RV and gave me the plan. The car hitting into the RV was actually my signal to drop the camcorder in the stairwell and jump over. He was going to be driving the car while past him undertook stupid, attention grabbing shenanigans. He pinched me forward to when everyone returned, and we drove to town commiserating about having to give the glory up. The jokes and snide remarks about leaking the story seemed plain and tawdry now. I made sure to record a little of that, too. The RV dropped the past James off and rumbled on to the Burger King. It was odd to see things a second time.

There was me looking thoughtful because I'd gotten asked on a date. Here I was at the same time with a ring already on my finger. I still didn't know how I felt. They got the food, they pet the dog. It was nostalgic and innocent and small time. Everyone settled, and I dropped the camcorder in the stairwell. We headed toward home. The maniac flew by, sparks showering everywhere. I moved through the front door and waited for my moment. James started racing us. Now that I was looking at the car and not the highway surfer, it was easy to see him.

It all happened. We drove off and got the RV cornered, everyone watched the tape. I was lured out. Turns out I was the one who told him when to expect me. I saw the determination on my face to make the most of what I'd been given and help my team out. James and I went back down to the RV to hitch a ride back to town. No sense freaking past me out. We went back into town and talked about the excitement. I wondered whether this was really me, and if it was what I wanted.

I asked James about the closet in the ice factory. How had he figured it out? Was it the only one? He asked me why I wanted to know. I held up the ring and mentioned that heroes don't get vacations, but we could always make our own. It wasn't exactly a lie. He told about how he kept it locked, if only so there wouldn't be people in there when he needed to use it. We had sex again, in the parked RV outside of Wade's house while they were probably questioning where I had gone and if I had been in on it all along. I wondered if they thought 00X had turned me while we were alone together. It hurt to think about.

I talk him in to taking me to the room, so we can have a vacation and get to learn about each other without having to rush so much. We decide to take a week the first time. As soon as we've gone back, I pinch forward 5 days so I can look around the day before my team and 00X were supposed to go through.

I pinched invisible and headed out. I do it differently than how James showed me, slipping into the ceiling so no one can see me if we run into each other. I follow the back halls my team will take to get to the brain in the middle. When I get there, the computer brain is open. There's a huge villain scale monitor.

No minions in here, so it was too important to be interrupted. And here's James' voice, the day before we're supposed to meet. He's in a rush. He goes to the monitor and apologizes for being late. A glowing pink goo blob appears. It talks about how he has no excuse, with the secrets of the universe at his fingers. How it took him from nothing to having all he wanted, and all it had asked for was occasional help. He apologized again and said he'd been watching again, because he knows how much they both want to get this right.

It accepts and apologizes for speaking harshly. It shouldn't have judged. They talk about tomorrow being the day, the big day finally and I realize they're talking about us. James mentions having a good feeling about one of them. About how this is going to pay off the last 6 months of surveillance. How I'LL help them turn the team, and then work out from there.

The future will be peace and understanding, as everyone will be able to pinch for problem solving. We'll enter an age of culture and art.

I slip back into the ceiling and think. I look at the ring. I remember Wade, and RR, and Blossom, all supporting me over the years we've worked together. I know exactly where each of them are right now. I know what I need to do.

[kangaroo-sniper-imagine]

Mercs who didn’t pay attention to their family trees

-I’m only doing a few mercs, cuz otherwise this would be huge-

Scout and Spy

When Miss Pauling introduced their newest recruit, The Thief, everyone was at least interested with the new blood. They were useful on the field; fast, silent, deadly, quickly able to steal the info case and dashing back to safety in record time. They were closed off at first, like many are in a new environment, but quickly opened up as soon as they were settled in.

The only person who didn’t quite connect with them was Spy (shocker). There was something about the new recruit that stuck him odd, something familiar about them that he couldn’t just put his finger on. The Frenchman’s son felt similarly.

“It’s like I already know ‘em; which is weird ‘cuz I’m dead certain we’ve never met before.”

It wasn’t until several weeks later, as the ten of you all were joined in the rec room, just enjoying each other’s company after a successful match. Jacque sat in the corner with Mick {not to derail but I totally think that they’re secret best friends who roast each other on the field}, both sipping at their drinks and idly talking as Jeremey sat with them, having a loud conversation with Jane from across the room.

Then they heard it. A deep, throaty chortle that was extremely unattractive, coming from across the room, coming from you

Both Jacque and Jeremy froze, the sound too familiar for it to be comfortable, eyes snapping to you, where you were wildly laughing with Travish. The Scotsman was sloshed and laughed along with your, his thundering laughter almost drowning out your own. Almost.

The sniper took a slow sip of his beer as he as well looked upon the commotion. He hummed in thought, and turned to the frozen spy. “Izzit jus’ me,” he drawled, gesturing with is beer can to you, “or do their laugh sound a lot like yours?”

Scout slowly turned to his father, rage in his eyes, but all Spy could do was watch you laugh that awful laugh. His brain slowly connected the evidence, memories of 20+ years ago invaded his mind, a dalliance with a woman who looks shockingly like you, the nose that you share with him and Jeremy, your strange obsession with your appearance, and most damning of all; the shitty laugh that you’ve seem to inherit from Jacque.

With a deep breath, the Frenchman stood up, determined to get out of the room and hide in his abode so he could scream in peace, but the sudden influx of the realization, rather, caused him to faint.

He awoke, what he assumed, several hours later, in a familiar camper bed. In his peripheral, Jacque could see Mick smoking a cigarette and reading a newspaper with one hand, a mug of coffee in the other. Without even looking up to confirm that the Frenchman was awake, the sniper spoke.

“Your kids are right pissed at you, mate.”

Jacque cursed.

Heavy and Soldier

Pauling was ecstatic to introduce more help, probably under the impression that this person to pick up the slack the other leaves so that her evenings won’t be filled with killing and covering up murders and thefts. Some young thing with a thick, almost indiscernible accent who spoke rarely and quietly. You were called the Electrician, for your… odd choice of weaponry.

Your gun was one of your own design, one you were very proud of, that rather than bullets shot out electrical charges, either stunning your opponent to help assist another teammate in a kill or give off a charge so intense it kills. You spent most of your free time in your assigned work shop improving your gun’s design and creating new weapons.

More than once, the team would hear a loud scream and the sound of a loud thud, only to come and find your door blown wide open and you stuck in the adjacent wall, hair shocked to stiffness and a new white streak added to your hair. Needless to say, you kept the team on their toes with your eccentricities. For some reason, your antics made Mikhail exceptionally worried. It was a weird knee jerk reaction he had, something that hadn’t flared up since he was younger, watching over his sisters.

About a month after your arrival, Jane caught you in his raccoon infantry pen, cooing over the animals that flocked to you. It was the first time he saw you smile since you’ve gotten there, and the first time he’s seen you out of your combat gear, now you wore a too large tee shirt and denim shorts, toes in the Arizona sand, scratching the chins of the furry animals. Deciding to try his luck, Jane approached you with a bellowing welcome, startling you, but you greeted him back regardless.

Jane noticed how much you liked watching the raccoons play with each other, but noticed you looked sad too.

“What’s the long face for, private?”

Your face pinched. When you spoke your words were slow, not used to English. “They have… family. I do not.” With a heavy sigh, you tried to elaborate. Jane didn’t mind waiting for you to collect your thoughts or your thick accent. Years of hanging out with Travish and Ludwig extremely sloshed had taught Jane patience in regards to others when they’re trying to speak an unfamiliar language.

“Mother was from… Russia? But father was from Norway, and mother went to there with him. When mother and father… died,” Jane’s heart twinged at the way your face fell, “I do not know how to find mother’s family in Russia, and father had no family in Norway. So I stay in Norway.” A beat of silence passed as you scratched the head of a curious baby raccoon that strayed closed to you. “I stay alone.”

Jane busted out crying, pulling you into a bear hug and vowing to be your surrogate family for as long as you want. He made it his mission to figure out who your family is. The first thing he did was write down the name of your parents, fully planning on hunting down your relatives after some good old fashioned American bonding.

Just as he was about to reunite with you after grabbing a baseball form his room, the American ran into Mikhail, who seemed pissed off

“You touch Sasha?” He accused, one large finger jabbing into the soldier’s chest. Jane couldn’t find it in himself to get mad at the accusation, he was a man on a mission to cheer up a sad kid and no angry Red was gonna stop him.

“No time,Sputnik! There’s a sad private who needs a moral boost and a good old game of catch!”

Rage quickly turned to confusion, then mild understanding. “Electrician is sad?”

Soldier gave a speedrun version of your sad backstory, even going as far to show the names of your parents to the Heavy. The Russian surveyed the sheet and he sighed. “That is not how name of mother is spelled.” He informed.

Jane scoffed. “And how would you know?”

Mikhail threw the American an unimpressed look. “Because family name is mother’s name before marriage.”

There was a second of realization.

“... is it a common last name?”

“... nyet.”

“... you might want to call your mother to confirm something.”

“... Heavy just might.”

—-

The next morning, Mikhail knocked on Jane’s door so early in the morning, the vet wasn’t even awake yet already doing his morning exercises.

The American looked up blearily to the Russian, one hand scratching his buzz cut head.

Mikhail looked grim. “Heavy call mother. Mother says that Electrician’s mother is cousin to her.”

Soldier mulled over the information. “So… your mama’s cousin is Private Zappy’s mama, so that makes us-

“Makes ME second cousin.” Mikhail insisted.

With an air of smugness, Jane flashed his left hand, displaying a wedding band. “Then I’m their second cousin in-law.”

Mikhail grumbled in annoyance and rolled his eyes, complaining in Russian. “Right. Sister Zhanna’s big mistake.”

With a sense of new found energy, Soldier stuck his chin up high and began marching towards your room, seemingly not aware that he was in only a pair of his tighty whiteys.

Mikhail sighed again but followed Jane regardless to tell you the news of your newfound family.

Medic (italics is German cuz lets be honest, who wants to translate all that)

After months of complaining to Pauling, asking for more on field medical help, upper management finally relented and hired a new mercenary, some bright young thing going by The Nurse.

You were studious, and compared to Ludwig you were very tamed. You saw this opportunity as a job to perform and not a way to finally experiment legally on people without getting arrested the way Ludwig does. You took your work seriously, dutifully dressing every wound, handing out pain medication, assisting Ludwig in his surgeries. You certainly helped lessen his work load during battle, helping with minor injuries so that the doctor could focus on his Ubercharge and on more serious injuries.

You two were professional to each other; despite showing you weren’t exactly sadistic you never chastised Ludwig for his somewhat cruel experiments, and you were always respectful to him and everyone else around you, which is something that impressed him (considering how noting the rest of the team is).

One day while experimenting on Heavy, you solemnly standing next to the doctor with your face covered like the good little health professional you were, the Medic fuzzed in German, adding, “I need a bone saw.”

Without him translating, you turned to your side and snatched the instrument off the tray, passing it to the doctor.

After a moment of thought, Ludwig spoke again. “You speak German?”

“Ja, I am from Germany after all.”

The russain’s rib finally took the blade and now was slicing easily. “What a coincidence. Which part?”

“Munich, but I left while I was very young when my family moved.” After another brief pause, you add, “I actually wanted to become a nurse because of Munich.

Ludwig didn’t mention that he, as well, came from the same city, rather, he decided to prod you and learn more. It was so rare to meet someone he could have a conversation in his mother tongue with.

“What in Munich made you want to become a nurse?” Reaching into Heavy’s chest with a scalpel, Ludwig began to sever the arteries attached to the heart.

“The University. My family lived nearby, and seeing the students come and go made me want to join them… actually a relative went there. My family was very proud of him and I wanted to go with him, but, ah, I was only a child.” Without being asked, you held out a silver pan that Ludwig deposited the heart.

The doctor started the timer, watching the mutilated chest cavity, waiting for the oregano to regrow due to his most recent experimental ‘medicine’. “Hmm, which relative?”

“Oh, my father’s brother’s wife’s…. something.” You replied idly, fetching a notebook and pencil to record the time. “Nephew or cousin’s nephew or something. It is a distant relation. Lost his license though.”

“Really? How?”

“He removed someone’s skeleton if you can believe it.”

Ludwig’s fist clenched so hard that the stopwatch broke. Dammit, now he has to start the experiment all over again.

[jess-the-vampire]

Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 51

Previous / Next

-

Sky had to admit, she was impressed with her own magic skill by this point, even if the progress she was making seemed minimal. She never really tried to dip down much, it's not something anyone can just...do after all, it takes time and work. There was probably no way she could do it by the time the plan would come to action but training couldn't hurt either.

Especially if it was to protect a friend.

Even trying to shoot magic from her hands drove sky crazy, how did judas do this so naturally? Guess when you grow up doing magic like this you don't have to go through so much training to get it to work. Sky was half human too, who knows how that might affect her powers even if she did go through mewberty. She kinda felt silly trying to do magic like this, throwing out her hands and shout spells...but it was better then nothing.

Angel could do magic normally, no wand required.

Lucky.

He was getting better, he'd probably been practicing a lot in his spare time, probably to show off to his mom. His aim was far improved and he seemed far stronger at his spellcasting, from what magic he knew . Sky felt she spent more time watching him then making any progress, if even if it was just to get an idea of how to make her magic work a little.

It was probably pointless anyway.

Unlocking that kinda magic required a lot more to trigger it, otherwise sky wouldn't get very far no matter hoe hard she was trying. Strong emotional reactions were surefire, like...how she nearly attacked her mom...and the masked person, and...other happenings. Those were close but not really the results she was looking for either, she was looking for something like angel had.

Where he went berserk...over her getting hurt.

Wow they both had a bad habit of going evil when they ever did unlock this magic huh? That was both scary and...kinda neat in a weird way, though last thing sky needed was to make herself look worse then she did. Angel could tell she was having trouble, though he wasn't judging, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. "Maybe like...try and clear your mind and stuff? I think that's supposed to help, so you can focus?", that might've been more harsh then it needed to be,

But sky didn't seem to care.

"I can try".

She wasn't good at clearing her head, there was always too much going on in her mind for something like that to even happen. Even now, her mind was going back to judas and the plan. It was like a bug that refused to just leave the room, no matter what she wanted. She grumbled as she sat down on the grass, "Ugh, i can't focus, i'm too worried and everything".

She kicked at the dirt underneath her, "It was different last time, i wasn't trying to do anything intentionally, i just got really upset and for a moment...blam...magic. Now...it's not the same, i only had those outbursts because you got in danger or i felt upset...and i can't channel things all the time like that...like...why can't me being happy channel that same power?".

"Well, maybe you're just not feeling that kinda emotional nearly as strongly right now?", he shot out another web, hitting the wall with perfect accuracy now, "I guess maybe training and stuff happening in real time just...don't feel the same way...even i haven't been able to master my own form...so i think it just means...we have a lot channeling to do".

"You've been learning from eclipsa huh?".

"I did at times stay late with her...she...likes my presence and helping me...not that i ever got too far with it. Clearing your head is supposed to help but also...you can focus on a memory with a strong reaction, that can help your magic too sometimes...so...maybe we should do that? Channel strong memories...i mean i don't know if happy ones really will do much for me to control a raging monster but...".

"Angel, that's a good idea, maybe if i do clear my head properly i can like...channel something, maybe, Mom never really explained the process to me, but it's worth a shot".

He smiled, his ears perking up, "Oh, well, glad i can be of some kind of help then! Maybe it'll work a lot better for you then me, i'm still pretty far behind on my own magic" He shot another spell and sky went back to focusing, seeing if she could recover any strong memories to trigger something. She went back to the chandelier incident, reminded of the party and her performance.

It was hard to channel the anger she had when he mother spoke to her the way she did. in fact it was a hard memory to fully recover at all. Maybe she had to go and try and new one to see if she had better results, she had to have other moments. Right, the time angel was nearly killed and that set her off like crazy, that was also a rather insane moment of magic for her.

She hadn't been so full of rage in a long time.

Though she was worried how she'd react to that memory again.

She had to take a moment to chill and breath, holding her hand out before the memory came back to her. She didn't want to accidentally blow up the entire garden if she wasn't careful about her own actions up to this point. Granted, blowing up a wall wasn't exactly a better option but well, she was going to have to take some risks somewhere it seemed.

She felt her cheeks puff up, remembering the pure anger of angel nearly being killed down by some freak.

Angel stepped back, a slight bit of glow in the princess's cheeks, but it quickly faded, the memory was strong but because nothing was happening it didn't appear the have nearly the same strength. Sky sighing, her hand touching her marks, "Well, it's a start...i guess i should be happy we got a reaction at all...i guess that whole thing...really had me upset".

Angel sent a sad smile her way.

"Hey, i'm just glad you cared at all...i'm...i wasn't sure anyone would if things went wrong...i kinda went into the thing knowing there was a good chance i might not make it out alive all things considered...it...was probably a dumb idea when i think more about it".

She snorted in his direction, "Dude, of course we'd care if something happened to you...but...it doesn't seem to be enough to get me to really unlock my abilities...for now...but...i'll take it. At least it's better then nothing.". She sighed before going back to tryin to do more spells with no success, "I'll figure this out...hopefully...if i could just...get a better grip on my emotions...and with enough practice...". She watched angel go back to doing spells, thoughtful, "Hey...thanks for doing this with me...it's really nice".

"Yeah of course...it's not fully for you though, i...wanna be able to protect myself as well, i wasn't very good before...and i don't want to feel vulnerable again, i felt so...powerless when i almost got killed...and i need to keep my strength up". He shot spells at the wall even harder, "I'm glad you're protecting me but i also don't want to feel so weak either...i want to be able to defend myself if anything happens again...want to know i can...take care of myself when i'm a leader".

"I can't blame you on that one, i would do the same if i was in your shoes", her feet scratched the dirt, making a neat little imprint with it," i just hope it doesn't end up feeling like you're protecting me when i should be looking out for you". Angel stopped casting his spells, quick to notice her change in tone, "It shouldn't have to be a one vs another thing...we should be...looking out for each other...all of us".

"But if i don't get better soon, i'll be worthless for the plan".

"Sky, look, maybe this is something better said by jude and everything but...you're more then your magic, you spent a lot of time beating me without knowing much magic at all, you don't need it to do good...even if you don't learn to dip down...i trust you'll do great out there". The princess took a moment before gently pushing him, laughing, "You're right...i did kick your ass pretty good without it".

"Ok but you don't have to remind me of that...", sky snickering as she got back into focusing, "Says the person who kept a whole journal of all the times we fought, you're far more guilty of this then i am". He blushed as she got back in focus, "Maybe if things get bad, i can really taze the guy, that outta pack a punch and they might not even see it coming either".

"Well, i didn't think they'd avoid my bite either but...you know how that went, but i have faith in you princess."

Sky snickered, "Well, i can say this for sure, next time, your teeth won't miss, i'm sure of it". The laughs ringing in the air as sky enjoyed the moment, she really needed this, and angel made sure she got the break and night to make amends she deserved. And for once, sky felt confident maybe she could actually get the hang of this magic thing properly.

She had the support to help at least.

-

"You ok landon?".

Landon peeked through the window of the carriage at bernard's house, seeing rhombulus parked outside and feeling his whole body shake. "Do i look ready mom? I'm a mess, i should've fixed myself up a lot more, how am i supposed to go in there and be cool with him when i'm sweaty and freaked out?". He raised an arm to display and marco quickly made him move it back down.

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, do like you practiced".

"This is different, he's going to be looking at me and watching me talk, i'm not even sure about how he's going to react, he might just want to be friends and friends only. All that time i spent and thing might get worse between us and we never talk again". Once again marco found themsleves trying to comfort the boy, handing him some water, "you'll be ok, just take it easy".

'I'm sorry mom, it's just...what if i can't do it? i'm worried i can't".

"Landon, it's going to be just fine, i'll be waiting out here if you need me to make a quick getaway ok? But you have to finally face him down, i know you're scared but this time you're going to have to put that to the side and be brave for both you and bernard on this one. He needs this as much as you do, closure, and he won't be able to rest until you both have it".

Landon slumped back, "Guess i just don't want to know what his final answer will be".

"But you know you have to...".

"Yeah...".

"Landon, it's going to be ok, i promise...i know you're nervous, but it's going to be ok, just go in there and do your best. I have plenty of faith that things will work out between you two, you both seemed to care about each other a lot, and i doubt you won't be friends still after this". The demon nodded, his mother comforting him to the best of their ability, his hands gripping each other tight.

His mother kissed his cheek, "Hey, if you need to bail out at any point, i'm here, but i believe in you...ok?". Landon gulped before finally getting out of the carriage, lucky he was even allowed to on on this trip at all. This was not an emergency and everyone was very uncomfortable even going to other dimensions at this point, but marco insisted this was important.

And it was, for landon.

Rhombulus seemed to disapprove of this choice, sneering as the kid got closer, but letting him in anyway.

He was expected after all.

The rest of the commission were inside and the parents of this lovely home seemed more then used to them now. As used as one to get to having three interdimensional gods living in their home. They were eating their snacks, sitting on heir couches, and chilling as if nothing was happening. Guess they had to be a little bored by now, but still, it was a serious job.

Imagine they came back and hey were following asleep like this? And they thought things were bad before.

Landon spotted bernard's mom quickly who ushered him away from the commission members and upstairs without hesitation, "Ok, he's waiting for you up there, let me know if you need anything and please, don't break anything". She didn't seem the happiest to see him but she wasn't mad at him or anything, so that was a little better then what he thought in his head.

But that didn't help his nerves, he could spot bernard's room and took a few steps forward.

He had to be just as nervous as he was...right? He didn't greet him at the door so he was left with a similar impression that was the case. Then the door opened to let him in, a sleep and messy teenage boy waiting for him. Landon feeling his heartbeat rise even faster and want to flee the scene extremely fast, his body forcing itself to stay put so he didn't chicken out.

"Hey landon".

"H-hey...bernard", god why did he have to make himself sound so awkward the moment he saw him again? He swore his voice cracked too, because of course it did.

Bernard didn't look fully dressed, not did he seem to be entirely...himself, which was a warning sign, but they had to get this over with. Landon had to just go over and finish up before he made another bad choice, though bernard looked very cute. He had never seen him like this outside of the sleepover the one time, most of the time he was more...well kept.

Bernard yawned, "Sorry i'm not looking that great, but...i'm happy you came, means a lot to me if you want to come in and well...y'know, do this whole thing". Landon nodded quickly as he entered the messy teenage boy's room, the door shutting behind them. He took a set on the bed as bernard started going into his closet, nervous about who should speak first.

It was uncomfortably silent after all.

Bernard and landon both wanted the other to make the first move instead, as if they were waiting each other out. The silence however, was killing landon and it wouldn't get them anywhere if neither of them even said a word to each other. Landon really felt his stomach churn, just how bad did he screw up that bernard could hardly even look at him right now?

He wasn't used to this from him, the tension was intensely uncomfortable compared to the usual laughing and giggling between the two. He twiddled his fingers together and tried to choke up a word or two, needing to be brave and come out with it. "Hey look, i'm sorry fi i made things uncomfortable between us...i wasn't supposed to even send you that video...it was an accident", was that good? He hoped so.

The human paused, meaning he had heard landon alright.

"Mason pushed the wrong button, it wasn't supposed to head to you like this, i just want us to be friends again ok? I never meant to hurt you or bother you or make things awkward. But i also get it if you don't want to be friends anymore either with me, i know this would make you feel weird and i don't want you to feel weird around me either...it's just...you mean a lot to me".

"How long?".

His voice caught him off guard.

"How long have you liked me?".

Landon froze, stammering, "Since we met actually...i dunno you came up to me and i thought you were...cool, i know that sounds really corny but it's true. You were so cool and i wanted to get to know you and you wanted to get to know me...and i found it...attractive. I mean i didn't notice it at first bit over time it made sense why i was acting this way about you".

Was that good?, it was hard to tell when he wasn't looking at him right now.

"Look, if you want me to leave i will, i know you're upset with me and i don't wanna be some burden on you. You're just...a great person and i'm glad i got to have you as my friend, even if it was just for a little while". He meant that sincerely, he liked having this guy as his friend, and he was going to miss them if they never spoke every again, "You deserve better friends who don't make you go through this kinda stuff anyway".

"Landon...".

"I'm right, you got kidnapped and you could've died because of it, and it was because of me, if you and me weren't friends you would have never had to deal with that happening to you". God, he sounded so pathetic, was this really how he wanted to even handle this in the slightest? He felt himself curl up a little, clenching teeth, "I wanted to tell you how i felt sooner but i was worried what you'd think. I've never confessed to anyone in my life before and i got scared to screw up or say anything"'.

It was hard to tell what bernard was thinking with his back turned, but he was just going to have to keep pushing through this no matter how embarrassing it was. "I just think you're really cool, i like your magic stuff and your attitude, and your confidence...and how you laugh at my jokes and support me...and i'm dead serious about all of it...i never meant to make you feel uncomfortable.".

Bernard finally turned around, a look of surprise on his face.

"Landon...i...you don't make me feel uncomfortable", he suddenly seemed to feel ashamed of his silence this whole time, his shoulders sagging and his expression more sad. "I...i admit, it was overwhelming finding out...i think it's because i well...i've been on dates before...and a lot of them were...mixed". The human took a seat next to landon, his feet dangling off the bed.

"I...y'know, constantly changed myself everywhere we went and i would get confessed to a lot, but it never felt right because i wasn't being myself...i was just trying to fit in. I guess when you confessed i had so many thoughts, like if this was another occurrence of me not being myself and you not liking the real me, or that you did like the real me, to all the times we hung out and i had no idea...i...had a lot going on".

The human eyed his worried friend, before smiling a little, "But...i'm not mad at you for any of this, none of this was your fault. You had no idea anything like this would happen and it's ok, i'm not mad at you at all. My parents might have some issues, but i don't...because it wasn't your fault that happened. Landon, i'm still processing everything but i'm not mad at you".

"You aren't?".

"Of course not, i just...have a lot to think about with all of this, i'm a little overwhelmed but i'm not mad at you landon. I just need a lot of time to really think on things, if that's ok...". Landon seemed relieved, his face suddenly becoming far happier then he meant for it to, "Yeah, yeah of course! You can take all the time you need if you want, no pressure or anything, you can uh...get back to me when you're ready".

He laughed and landon felt himself turn deep red.

"Yeah of course, when i'm ready, i don't want to leave you hanging or anything...", the human noticed landons face an poked at it charmingly. "I have to admit...it's...a little flattering that you...feel this way about me. I've just never been complimented this much before , or had anyone write a song for me before for that matter, it's actually sweet".

"You find it sweet?".

"Yeah well...it's really good and i can tell you put a lot of hard work into it, it's...nice that i...inspire you like that". I never saw myself having a song about me, always thought the only way something like that would happen was if i won some dumb contest or something. I...i'm sorry you didn't get me to see it under different conditions, i know this was not how you wanted me to...experience it".

"Well...i'm sorry i was acting so weird for awhile towards you...it was a lot more obvious then i thought originally. You...you were worried about me and you had every right to worry about me...everything just got so complicated and i had a hard time trying to figure out what was the best way to handle it. I guess i should've tried to handle it sooner, to avoid this from happening."

"Hey, i'm not great at this stuff either, i might never have caught on without the video. Heh, it took me a few minutes to click as the music started playing that you were going for...y'know, You...play really well landon". He blushed, trying to hide his face as much as possible as he turned away from the cute boy, "Yeah well, i do play it almost all the time".

"It pays off, at least you might get to make it into a career, my parents still are on the fence about magic".

The way he said it seemed to make landon's heart crack just a little

"I'm sorry to hear that...i well, i was really hoping they'd change their minds about it and stuff...you should be allowed to do the hobbies you like, like you're really good at them too, you were able to escape your handcuffs because of magic! It's...amazing...how you were able to actually do that, they don't appreciate enough of your skills, you're...amazing".

He felt himself blushing again and quickly coughed, "Oh right, sorry, this might be making your more uncomfortable".

But bernard laughed, "It's ok, i'm just glad someone cares, i feel sometimes like...no one really does, i've just...wanted someone around who likes what i like and doesn't make fun of it". He sighed, rubbing his hair, "I escaped my cell through magic, that's...impressive, i never knew i'd need to and magic helped me do it, i was just hoping for better i guess from my parents".

The prince watching him sadly, letting out another deep sigh.

"I wanted to confess to you that day...the day you were kidnapped...i know it doesn't matter now but i did, and then when things went wrong i changed my mind because you had enough going on to worry about me. After you got kidnapped and hurt and everything, there was no way we could talk about it, i knew it was a bad idea. I'm sorry things got so bad that you were worried about me like that".

"Landon, it's ok".

"No, it's not".

"No, it is...i'm sure, it was complicated. I...i got kidnapped, and you just wanted me to take the time to recover before unloading this on me, it's not a bad thing. Truth be told, i was terrified down there, i didn't know if I'd make it out alive or not, for a few moments i really thought i might not. But...you helped find me, and...that's important, your confession could wait...".

"But...then i started acting weird...and your texts".

"Landon, of course i was worried about you, we're friends...if you needed space it's ok, you can also just well...text me if you need a break for a bit. I only got worried cause i care about you...but if you need space...it's ok. I didn't really know you were going through so much emotional turmoil because of me and everything, i should have suspected though. I guess i've been so distracted i never even considered you were acting this way because you might of liked me a little more then being just friends, but...i'm glad it's out in the open now".

"You really still wanna be friends?".

"Dude, yeah, of course i do...i'll need some time to process the whole...crush thing, but...it doesn't make me wanna not be your friend. It'll take some getting used to but i like being your friend. I like us hanging out, and i like having someone around who respects my hobbies and interests and shows me all kinda of things i'd never see in a million years. You're a really cool person landon, i like being with you...i don't want us to stop being friends because of this".

Landon felt himself blush and heart beat a bit faster, it was worse that he knew what he was doing to him.

"W-well, i like having you around to like my hobbies and stuff too...yeah".

The human laughed, "I'm sorry for being such a drag and everything this morning, i got to admit, i just have a lot of bad experiences dating...and dealing with crushes. I guess for me it brought back some memories...but i won't bother you with them in detail or anything. Because i think you're different landon, i really think you care about me and everything".

Landon clutched his head in his hands and grumbled, still blushing, "And i was thinking you'd hate me and everything after what happened for a little while...cause...i just didn't...i didn't want to make you uncomfortable". He shifted in his seat before pinching his nose in frustration, "I should have at least told you i needed some time tho...i didn't meant to worry you-".

"No no like i said i-".

Landon turned around, only to realize he might of gotten just a LITTLE too close to bernard's face, making him jolt back quickly. Even bernard cut off his sentence at the action, "Well, uh anyways...glad we talked about this. So well, i guess if you need anything or want to stay for a while...i'll convince my parents to do it, hopefully. They're getting used to your friends down there".

"They aren't exactly our friends, but thank you...we haven't really gotten to hang out properly since...it happened. I was worried about even asking since...well, your parents...they must hate me for what happened with you. Even if you forgive me, i am still the reason they lost you to begin with, and they were terrified...your house got bugged and-".

"Landon, please, don't worry about them, they're always like that. They panic about everything, it's why they're like this about my magic, they're desperate to be good parents and well...make me some perfect kid. I mean i'm obviously not one but they want me to be one. Point being it's ok, don't worry and freak out, they're always like this anyway and i think they'll live with it".

He was doing it again.

"I'm sorry".

"Hey look, let's go down and take a break...your mom's outside right? How about you let them know and we can just...have some time together for a little bit? Some not awkward time together, we can hang in my room for today if you want and we could...properly catch up, if that's ok?". That sounded great, landon finally getting himself to relax as he pulled out his compact.

"Thanks".

-

"So this is it huh?".

She was looking at the broken wand with extreme curiosity, star watching her very closely as she examined it. She was giving luna the chance to make things up and be trusted but that didn't meant she was just cool handing sky's want over to just anyone. Luna was still on the fence these days to everyone and the wand was in bad enough condition.

"Yeah that's it alright".

"It's in better condition then i was expecting it to be in when i heard it broke, i'll give it this...but yeah, it needs a good repair. I must admit though, wands are hard to crack, this thing must've been hit with a powerful spell. But at least it's fixable, you might just need an expert on this one, though you're not going to like who i suggest to help you with it...".

Star grumbled, knowing where this was going.

"Mom, right?".

"She'd know if anyone.".

"Of course she would, i had a bad feeling you were going to mention i'd need her help, "But fine, whatever, is there anything else you want to let me know about? You and eclipsa were going off about a gem or something?". She was starting to get a little pouty and the less she focused on her mom the better, "Well, me and eclipsa weren't idiots, sky has a rare opal on her wand...you can see the multiverse in it if you look close enough".'

"Rare?".

"Yeah, omni owns these things, never been on a wand before...i think".

That even seemed so surprise star, guess there were things the commission still weren't fully being honest about with her. Luna didn't seem as phased by it though, looking through it curiously, "I'll be honest, i don't really think sky is responsible for taking us here...she...has no reason to and she's not knowledgeable enough to do it even on accident, but...knowing this is on her wand...it's...probably not a coincidence".

"What exactly do you mean by that?".

"C'mon now mom, a magic wand that combusted before we came here? And it just so happens to have a gemstone like this? Even if it wasn't sky it certaintly makes the most sense to be her, the problem is she doesn't know a spell that could do this...so i have to imagine what might of actually happened was we got dragged out of our own dimensions, and got pulled through her crystal into yours".

"Actually...that...kinda makes sense", the queen mumbled, folding her arms together, "But like, you all unwillingly were pulled...right? So someone had to have done this to you, unless this is omni's doing". The person in question had to have knowledge and access to the multiverse in order to even do this and pull it off, and there wasn't a high suspect list.

"No, i don't think it's omni, if the commission were behind it they would've acted upon whatever they wanted us for...not...be as useless as they are now. Before were suspected them but after this much time, well, we don't trust them but we don't think it is them either. It's only so baffling because we're out of many other options, and i've never seen this happen before".

"Well there has to be SOMEONE who can do it".

"I know but, no one here matches well...", then she seemed to think of something, before shutting it down, "No no, that could work but that's far more absurd, we need something more within the lines of reason". Star blinked at luna as she held her hand up to keep star from asking further on the matter, ".We'll start with a list of the main suspects and work from there".

"Luna, we went through the main suspects, there is no one else".

"Have you checked meteora or moon yet?", luna asked skeptically, her suggestion catching the queen off guard, she hadn't really gone into either of them had she? But it was for good reason. "Meteora was doing tasks, she has it on record and my mom...my mom has no reason to even bother doing something like this, where's your proof on that one?".

"You heard me, limited other options".

"Still, my mom would never do something like this...maybe in your word she would but not here...right?".

"You tell me, maybe she would, maybe she wouldn't. I just know she's a suspect and since she's been absent from everything before this point she doesn't have nearly as much of an alibi, even with grandpa...you know how easily distracted he gets". She wasn't wrong, moon could manage it if she were behind it, but there was also no reason for her mother to do this...and she would never attempt to kill a child either.

Even if that child had previous outbrusts about their family.

"i don't believe it but it'll keep it in mind, but frankly...we need a better list, none of these people seem to have anything to do with it", she sent luna a look of worry, "Luna, i think whoever did this is not from mewni, as silly as that is, a disappointment, i know...i think we all thought it had to be family...but it's not". Luna hated to admit it, but she had to agree with the idea, it probably was something else.

"I don't fully agree but i don't fully disagree either, i've heard worse. But learning that kinda magic takes years of proactive. Not to mention accessing the commission tower, it leaves me uneasy, we could pass by this guy on the way to work. Can you imagine how i feel possibly knowing who this is, for them to be a friend of mine only for them to do al of this?".

If luna did she wasn't showing it well.

"You have to know how much that hurts and messes with all of us, we don't just ignore these ideas because we don't buy into them. But if you're right how do we even begin to react? This whole thing has gotten under all of our skin and there's no way we can just forgive and forget if it turns out to be one of us. You don't know who it is, so it's much easier to-".

"Ok, sorry i tried to help, i didn't say it to be rude or anything, it was just an idea"., luna sat back and crossed her arms, putting her feet up nearby. "I do this all the time back home, i catch criminals all the time back home so it's kinda important for me to do stuff like this and try and make a profile of some kind, that way you could spot them even unmasked".

"You scare me with the fact you can spot bad people by just looking at them, i hope me in your world learns to get a grip because you're lucky to not be dead going through all of this", luna snickered, "You're not entirely wrong, i am lucky, but i'm also hard working, so that's another reason i've lived so long, i rarely ever get caught with my talent".

"Is that so? Is that why you're prisoner now?".

Luna's smile was quickly wiped from her face.

"Thought so...but hey, you did say rarely, so this has happened to you before. And you're still here now, so i guess that still says something about you and getting out of stuff like this. I rarely could get myself out of situations without a little help, even if i was a tough fighter. Even now sky usually needs judas to help her out, but thankfully she's never really been kidnapped either".

"I had to learn to do things myself, if...either of you had died the crown would go to me, and if i couldn't take care of myself i was doomed to end up the same way. If you thought i would allow myself to ever be put in that position you were sorely mistaken, I wanted to be a strong queen, stronger then anyone before me...and avoid all the mistakes the others made".

"Like solaria?"

Luna was quiet, "Yeah, especially her, there's...some things about her past i prefer not to repeat, you're honestly lucky in this universe.". The queen jolted her head to luna at that, her face skeptic, "Wait, what do you mean by that? How are we lucky? She still caused massive devastation and we're still recovering from everything she's done, we're not lucky".

The lighter blonde hummed, her fingers twirling the rim of a teacup.

"I...was shocked when i saw angel for the first time, i never really explained why but...it's...well, because his kingdom doesn't exist back home. Or at least not anymore, it's ruins where i live". Star didn't seem to like where this conversation was going but luna continued, "I never got to meet his kind before now, i just knew about what they once were, and well...stories from you".

"From...me?".

"Solaria caused the devastation, but you...you were the one to hit the mark that started everything back home, and it all started with their kingdom. If things hadn't escalated, i might not be the same person anymore. But...it is what it is...it's just worth mentioning that while solaria here might still be quite the queen, you should be lucky you didn't end up with a worse version of her".

"I'll be honest...i'm surprised how much you don't like her, sorry if it sounds rude but i was expecting...you to like...something about her".

Luna shot star back a dirty look, "Outside of her determination to help her people and power there's not much to admire, what she did led to issues we're still solving today, and as far as i'm concerned that does not make you a good queen. You are not a good queen if people remember you for reasons of hatred, i should not be having to fix her messes 800 years later".

Ok so yeah, she really didn't like the old queen herself, even if related to her.

"Sorry for bringing it up then, it was worth asking".

Luna sat back on the bed, spreading out her arms, "It's a lot of stress trying to be a good queen back home, you want to be unique bit you also want to be strong and something to be proud of. It's...a flawed system, always has been a very flawed system. The kind of pressure it puts on everyone is...well it's something alright, not much better in war time".

"I put a lot of high expectation on sky...", the queen laid back, sighing to herself, having to agree with luna. "I know i did, i don't know why it happened, it just did, and i know it really upset her...even though...i just want her to do well. I want her to do well on her own as queen someday and i dunno, i'm never sure what to do, less freedom, too much freedom...i learned from too much freedom.".

"Well based on what i've seen you didn't do much as far as training her by the looks of it, she could barely hold her wand right!".

Luna really has a way of making people feel bad about themselves.

"She really had a hard time preforming magic, i egged her on so bad the ceiling came down", great, she was back to being mad at herself. She could've prevented this so much sooner if she had just...done things so much differently. Maybe sky wouldn't have been accused of crimes, or had even been in danger at all. A little danger was expected out here but not...so often.

Not like this.

"Luna, considering what i know about me from...your world, i'm not coming to you for parental advice. But...i think at the very least i have a better idea of what i need to improve on if i don't want us to end up like me and my mother right now.", she probably could've phrased that far better then she did but luna got the point. "It's been so long...i forget what it was like".

"Well now that moon is stuck here you're probably being reminded of it more then ever, as far as i can tell, nothing has changed about here...i hear enough through everyone else at this point that i'm glad i barely have to talk to her outside of the occasion. Back home grandma and i didn't agree on many things either, it's a lot messier between all three of us in that castle.".

"Luna, your dimension sounds...awful, for the record, not sure if that's what you were going for but, it sounds awful. I'm surprise you even want to go back after everything", she didn't exactly mean for it to sound so rude, it was clear why luna wanted to go back and that going back mattered to her. But it seemed there was little back home that was actually...well, to look forward to besides seeing her family again.

She almost wished luna could stay, not go back to a world like that.

Such an unpleasant world to grow up in.

"Honestly, sometimes i think that too, but i know it's what i want to do...i wouldn't just leave them. And...i won't leave them now especially, it's clear what seems to happen when i make choices to leave people behind, i get myself in more trouble". She motioned to her room, "I can't stay here, you know that and i know that, we have places we need to be and people who need us, we don't belong here".

"Luna, i don't know all of you that well, but i think all of you do belong here, not permanently, i know you all have families to return to...but well...i think being here has...helped you all, to some extent, maybe more then you could ever really get back home". That made luna pause, laying back on her bed, "I guess you really could say that,...i don't think people will even really...recognize me fully when i get back, maybe, it depends how long i've been gone for them...they might not even remember what i was like before i left all of them".

"I'm sorry you've all been gone so long".

"You say that like we didn't lie to your face for months about who we were this entire time, it's not your fault. We insisted on not coming to you for help, and our lack of progress is partially more our fault...and circumstance". She took a deep breath, "I tend not to ask people for help if i can avoid it, and i was aggressive about us staying hidden, and it worked for a while but...it was never going to work forever, there was too many of us, someone was bound to find out".

"Well, you had me fooled, for a good while, though i guess in retrospect the fact you were that good at fighting should've been some kind of red flag, no one who goes into knight training even comes in so perfect. Even on mewni where you could die at any minute, you would've been a good knight if you had been from this dimension though, though heh...oh wow, we assigned you under jackie".

"You can imagine how that went for me".

"Well, i guess it's hard for me to really say, i guess at least in the end you got to spend some good time with us even if we aren't technically your family. I can only hope that talking to us provided you some comfort, maybe. I think...if i was trapped somewhere else, just seeing my mom's face would really help. I...i got really upset when she vanished, after meteora".

Luna paused, letting the thought ponder for a bit.

"You don't hate your mom as much as you want to, she gives you grief and isn't making the situation any better for you...but i can tell that to an extent you're glad she's here. Someone to give you advice...and help you. She's not amazing by any means but i can tell you're glad she's here to help in this crazy situation, even if her help isn't really helping.".

"I've been on my own with the throne for a while...so i dunno, maybe i just miss her", star sunk in her seat, "I nmeed to stop venting, that's not what this meeting was about, it was about the wand, i'm just dealing with a lot of emotions right now. I've never really...confided in someone about this, well, someone who isn't my wife or my best friend at least".

The queen stood up, "I'm trying to handle this stuff on my own without help, but i guess i wouldn't be taking my own advice if i kept doing that, especially when help is coming right to my doorstep to help me on stuff like this. I'll...go talk to mom soon after this, we can come to some kinda agreement on the plan , and maybe work things out properly".

She held out her hand, "The wand, i better head out and i'm not leaving it here with you, no offence." Luna handed it over without any hesitation on her part, star pocketing it, "But...i'll admit, it was nice talking to you, even if i fully don't get why, i can see why eclipsa likes you, she tends to love the kinda people she can soften up from their cold dark hearts".

Luna pouted at that but accepted it anyway, "Well, just update the others and make sure...they're ok, especially judas, i worry about him...a lot. So if you could check up on him and make sure he's alright, i at least would like that". The queen understood, holding the door open playfully. "Cya later prisoner, don't hurt yourself too much in here...ok?".

Like luna could ever get herself that hurt down here? but the thought of it all was rather nice. Better then the other times she was taken hostage, most of those guys were hesitant to even give her food. No one wanted to fight luna when she was at her fully power, no one could even be prepared for it. Luna was the kinda person who could bite your hand off even without any sharp teeth whatsoever.

and no one was gonna test that theory, no one

A few days later, marco found themselves back to work on the plan, landon in a far better mood then he had been, texting his crush in the nearby corner as marco went over their ideas with the rest of the team.

"Alright, we can eliminate that one.", marco said, crossing off yet another idea they considered in their mission. Honestly it was impressive how smart these kids where when it came, ideas like this but it should've been expected. Having some people to bounce ideas off was a brilliant idea and they were all so excited too. Galexia was the most excited actually, she loved talking about her ideas and drawings to with people.

In fact this was the most comfortable anyone had ever seen her at all, period.

Her drawings even made marco laugh at random.

She beamed though, she seemed to like the reaction she was getting out of the queen, in fact she seemed to like the adults in general a lot more then others, I guess considering she grew up with a lot of them that was fair. But every other teen had at least some minor issues with the adults, and yet galeixa was more then happy to spill them everything and talk.

She was so smart it was crazy, her ideas never always made sense but no one really seemed to care that much either. Galexia has been paying attention, that was for sure, she had an ungodly amount of drawings just based on the plan. Some were of the plan itself and others were of them failing the plan, which was no something anyone wanted to see right now. But last there was a plan and it's on it's way guys to getting better.

"Maybe we can hide weapons in my dress", sunny suggested, "I've done it before, just in case anything bad happens and i lose my wand, i wanna be able to protect myself, even without magic". Honestly marco wanted to question why someone as young as her reallly needed so many weapons but maybe it was best just to not provoke it right now for them.

"I think the plan i went with might be out best bet, but these ae some good ideas. Just don't suggest anything too dangerous, i don't wanna put you guys at too much of a risk. I mean i know you guys get into this kinda stuff often but you know what i meant. This is still something we need to be careful with, sorry, safety is always my priority when doing anything with my kids".

"Your kids?".

They never meant for it to come out like that, but i guess upon closest inspection, they seemed to be their parental figure now, it was like marco had adopted a bunch of new kids out of complete nowhere. "Sorry sorry, didn't mean to make it found like...nevermind, i'm just impressed your all of your ideas. But i think in the end our next option is gpnna have to be mind, found good?'

"You even sure it's going to work?", landon asked, huffing at his parent, "Landon, no I'll be honest i'm not, but if we prepare enough for what we may handle when it happens we can prepare for anything with this guy". It was about being flexible and covering any hole, it was all or nothing in this situation and leaving cracks open was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

this entire plan was to be a big trap, a trap is useless if it can be escaped.

With their kids already being in danger enough times throughout this marco had to step up, there was no way they were letting any more kids be put in serious danger, and they were already taking a risk in letting angel even be some form of bait. Marco had to be smart about this, they could run this over several more times to get every nook and cranny.

If they could they'd booby trap the whole castle, they would.

But then that'd risk the safety of everyone else inside, and being trapped in with the crazy person was also a bad idea.

So if they were lucky, the plan would work first go, and they'd not even have to worry about these plan bs or cs. It was just a bit unpredictable where this was going to go, they had been fooled before and if this plan even got out then all of this would be for nothing. For all they knew they'd posses someone else to go in their place and escape them once again.

The mind control aspect really bothered marco.

what if they used it on one of them? That was a thought marco didn't want to consider, especially if it hit him or tom, they'd be powerful and they could really hurt someone if they were made to do so. Marco considered making charms for everyone, perhaps they could attach them to their outfits, not anywhere that they could be seen of course but still.

Then they could be protected at least from that.

Marco made a mental note to tell sky later.

"Ok, so we seem to have somewhat of a good plan going, thanks to judas we have an idea of how the party is going to look, So that outta help immensely when it comes to here to put everyone for this plan. We can keep most of you safe and catch them without anyone at harm, and if this works well then we'll finally be free. You'll all just have to stick to your roles and-".

Landon raised his hand.

"Roles? What?".

"Landon, the party is being used mostly as a front, therefore you have to pretend like nothing is wrong the entire time. If we aren't acting natural they're going to catch on very quick to something happening", landon sunk in his seat, "Right right, but like...won't it be more suspicious if we aren't on edge at least a little the whole night, they're not stupid...i think".

"We can do our best landon".

Landon didn't exactly like this idea, who knew what could happen like this? But marco was right, they were just going to have to be careful, and maybe stay wary of who they talked to. They didn't want to let this person in on any secrets they shouldn't know about, but hopefully they'd be fine. this meeting seemed very effective, marco was going to have star to talk to star about it and-

"Thanks for helping us!", sunny piped up, "And...thanks, we're happy to be considered your kids...", she blushed and marco smiled. "You guys...haven't really had a proper parental figure since you got stuck here, we assumed you were here because your parents let you be here...and we're no substitute for your actual parents but...i hope we can at least help in the meantime."

"You're doing great i promise!", sunny was always so positive, it was surprising how through all of this she still kept a smile on her face. "It's been super nice getting to spend so much time with you, i think we all feel a little at home here. We've lived here so long i guess it's become a second home to us...while also kinda being our home already as well".

Marco bit their lips, thinking of something.

"When we send you home, are we sure you can even come back?'.

They never had to consider it much before this point but now was as good a time as ever to really think about it. Sunny wasn't just a girl from another world, but she was a friend to mason, their youngest son, not to mention friends with everyone else too. They'd well, be sad if they never say any of them again and well, it was an idea that was thought about and could not be helped.

"Sky thought the same thing and she thought, well, we might figure something else out so...we're trying not to think about it too hard y'know? Don't want to get everyone upset right?". Her voice didn't sound like she was too happy about it though, sunny sounding like she almost wanted to hold back from some crying of her own about the matter. At least, it sounded like it.

Losing everyone else must have broken her heart to think about too.

"Sunny i promise we'll all stay together somehow...ok? i don't want to see any of you separated forever either, mason's never been so happy in his life/ He likes having more friends to spend time with, and of course, you all have grown very close. It'd be a burden to separate you, i promise we won't let this all be forever, you'll all see each other again".

Sunny looked over to lexi, who was still drawing by herself, smiling and ignoring most of the world around her.

"I guess i keep worrying about that, even though i try not to...", she admitted, "I'm supposed to be the positive one here, keeping everyone up and happy but...sometimes, i feel sad...thinking about this stuff. i'm going to miss you guys...i really am, i just got used to having sisters and new brothers and saying goodbye, to all of this, it's going to be hard...".

"Well, we'll try and make your last days here the best they can be then, just in case getting back in contact is...hard. You girls at least deserve a few last nights stress free before going home...it's not much, but you all deserve it after everything you've been through. You can even bring some things back home with you if you want to, memories and stuff".

"My parents probably think i've been kidnapped or something".

Yeah, yeah they would, heck knows if this happened to any of their sons marco would feel the same way by now, if they didn't think they died or something. The worry that had to be on their faces must be devastating. Sunny must think about it a lot, especially since she had a little brother back home she loved and had to live without her for so long.

"Don't worry about the now, think about how happy they'll be to see you again", marco said gently, "That's what matters here, getting you home to see them, they'll be thrilled and delighted. I know being away is scary but, it won't be permanent. We will make sure you get home, even if it takes years, don't give up on us ok? We won't let you feel abandoned."

Landon a little way a ways, turned his head away.

"Years, mom you know we can't do that, someone is going to find out eventually".

"I know lardon, but that's no reason to not try. We're going to have to help and not stil and cower even if someone is after them. These girls need to go and everything, the longer they stay here who knows what could happen, it's better they get home as soon as they can before anything worse happens to them. But we need to catch them first, free their names".

"You've been meeting with them right, how badly do people think sky or luna did it?".

Marco tensed up, feeling their shoulders stiffen as they looked for the best works, "Well since that day it's already been a mixed bag, but it hasn't gotten worse if you're looking for good news, i don't think people have gotten stronger on it. Luna must've kicked out a lot of the previous ideas they had which is both good and very bad all things considered".

"Figures as much, we better watch out".

"Oh don't doubt you will, no one feels safe".

"Hey...i hate to ask but, what happens to luna...if this all fails? We're delaying the trail but...there's no way we can defend her if we don't catch the real culprit and...what are they gonna do to her?", the question hit marco like a punch to the gut. They had been avoiding that answer entirely because they knew the answer and didn't want to worry the kids.

Sky was royalty, at worst if she had been convicted she'd lose her right to the throne and her wand.

But luna on the other hand, and with her true identity not known to anyone outside of their ground.

She wasn't nearly as safe.

Around here she was just seem as another citizen, she had no protections outside of perhaps the words of jackie and the royal family to protect her. But even that had a chance of not mattering, because a royal family can trust the wrong people. There was a chance of luna ending up in a BAD situation if they didn't do something soon and the thought was dreadful.

She already had a family back home waiting for her but if they never saw her again due to something like...like being frozen, that'd be even worse.

"We won't let that happen, we'll make sure of it. Even if...things get really bad", Marco was quick to change the subject, going through their papers and papers of plans and ideas. "I'm going to run these by tom and his parents, we need approval for some of these traps within the castle. We're already building up the ballroom for the event and the sooner we have a head start the better".

Landon stood up, ready to head out and join their mother as marco stopped in their tracks and turned again to sunny, "Remember, don't forget the stakeout soon, get some rest and practice your lines...oh...and keep sky updated. She's spending a lot of time with angel and i don't want her to forget about her role, though...it's great seeing her a lot happier...".

"You got it! Uh...thanks for everything", marco smiled at her as landon followed them out, Landon examining the mask and outfit sunny had given him in his arms. It was fitted for him by sky, but he still wasn't sure about it. At least he wasn't doing any of the actual acting or anything, all he has to do was dress up and play music, nothing more, nothing less.

He just needed to be careful.

Not just because of him being a prince, he's just...nearly gotten into fights in there now and if a fight broke out things would not end well, the place was quite on most days but who knows who might head inside on a more ruely day. Demons could be nice people, but they were violent too, and it was always best to keep your watch on them, so landon just hoped this idea was a bust and nothing happened.

It probably would be.

It was that idea alone that was enough to relax him.

Because of his magical abilities he got a little anxious about using his violin at all in case of well, what happened last time, but it would probably be ok as long as he didn't try to do that song again. Besides, he was barely getting results as is, and he wasn't using a wand violin. He needed to chill out, the worst thing to worry about were his nerves at playing in front of people.

Just thinking about it was making his stomach turn, or maybe that was just his guilt at not telling his mother about what he'd been doing.

they knew he knew they did, so why was it so hard to just say something about it?

Marco walked alongside the demon as they made it finally to the nearest bathroom to change and try on the clothes and see how well they worked in case sky needed to fix anything. Marco hadn't said anything yet and he felt their silence was their way of trying to get them to talk. They had done this before when they were really mad after all and landon was feeling the sting of it now.

He went inside to change, not saying anything.

He was so happy everything with bernard was a lot better, not perfect, but better. The entire scare had left him feeing broken for a while and the fact he was still getting texts was a relief in his mind, even if things were still awkward. He felt as if he were walking on eggshells, but he knew this was on him, there was no one else to blame for this then him.

He should say something, marco would go easy on him and he knew it, he just...felt guilty.

How many times was he gonna keep going behind everyone's backs and getting caught? He wasn't sure why he was like this? Maybe he just had a hard time admitting he wanted help? He wasn't a very social person and people knew that, he tended to handle things along when he had the chance and only his mom was ever someone he went to for serious help.

Guess that was bound to kick him in the butt eventually, screw his awkwardness.

He tried on the costume and moved in front of the mirror, sighing to himself, and putting in the mask. It fit well, sky had no business being so good at all of this honestly, she was far more talented then people gave her credit for. Landon just wished he wasn't in some kinda rut right now and could feel a lot better about it. Staring at himself in the mirror before looking to the bathroom door.

He was going to have to suck it up and confront this wasn't he? If he didn't he wouldn't be able to focus and he might get himself into another situation all over again. He did deal with bernard and that went well right? Him trying magic can't be too bad, especially since nothing came of it or anything, why was he panicking over him doing something so minor?

"Landon? You ok in there?".

He took some deep breaths before splashing water on his face, "Yeah mom, i'm coming out in a minute".

He finally pulled himself together, sighing as he opened the door to face his mother, "Mom, i...want to talk to you...about something?". But he was stopped in his tracks, his mom looking at him softly in his outfit, making him blush. "Hijo, you look so grown up...i'm...honestly happy to see you so...open and out there. Look at you opening up and making friends and talking to your crushes.".

"Mom...".

Were they...crying?

They looked like they were crying and landon was hit with a new wave of emotions.

"Sorry, i just...judas is hitting his coronation, mason is hitting puberty and...you're changing a lot too...it's...overwhelming", they wiped at their face, "Didn't mean to start crying or anything, i'm just...so proud...and...you're all so grown up". Landon rubbed at his arms, still blushing hard and having a hard time looking their mom in the eyes, he wasn't expecting this...but...it shouldn't stop him either.

"Mom...you're...right".

Marco looked at them confused at first, right about them making friends and talking to crushes? Landon knowing he needed to clarify more.

"I have been semi-lying...to you, i...when the text incident happened...it was because i was doing magic...not demon magic. I...i realized my violin, i can do spells with it if i really concentrated, it's not the same as a wand but i think i'm the one channeling it, and...i tried to practice it behind your back. I'm really sorry, it just meant so much to me to learn magic and everything and you guys were saying no and-".

"Landon it's ok", they reassured, putting a hand on their shoulder.

"I'm...just happy you told me...instead of me having to find out the hard way.", he felt so much more warm inside hearing that, they really weren't that mad at him for not doing what they were supposed to? Well they were probably a little mad, but not as mad as he was expecting after all the other stuff he had done up to this point. The human sighing.

"We'll work something out...later, for now you're grounded, just for a few days tho."

Yeah, that was expected, but he was glad it wasn't for much longer.

"I'm glad you aren't hurt though, it's easy to get hurt doing magic like that...there's a reason the wand exists...", the pondered for a moment, biting their lips, "We have enough on our plate right now...but...when we get this resolved, i'll make sure to help you learn it. We may have to ask to borrow sky's wand...when it's fixed, but...i'll make sure you figure out this scary part of yourself...".

"D-did you have to use the wand to...to also learn all of this?".

They nodded, "Yeah, it didn't matter at the time because sky wasn't around to use it and star didn't need to anymore...so it gave me the chance to learn so i could well...y'know, do what i do now". As an example, marco cast a small red orb in his hand, "It's not the same as her magic...but, i like to think of it as something new that we can do...discovery and everything. I have to admit, i'm...happy i'm not the only one with it, it's nice being able to have someone else who understands and finds it just as weird".

"I'm still sorry, i shouldn't have lied...".

"If it helps, i wasn't dead honest about my powers to star at first either...it...took me a while before i could talk about it, There was a lot going on at the time and i was just trying to be a good friend". Landon felt a hand grip his shoulder, "I need to also be better for you, a better example for you...but, i think we're both making some progress, and...i'm happy for that".

He had to agree, "I guess...a little progress is better then nothing, right?".

They smiled.

"C'mon, let's change out of that and take a break, if it's ok, i'd like to watch you play. Get you less nervous to perform. It's a way to be there for you, and still help with the plans...unless you don't want me to?". But Landon shook their head, "No, i...i think i'd like that actually, please?". He didn't mean to sound so...needy, but marco seemed more then happy with it.

"Then it's settled, c'mon, i think i need a break too".

[yeojaa]

called a thousand times.

prompt:  “did you miss me enough to drink or did you drink enough to miss me?”   (orig.)

this drabble is more an exercise in catharsis and serves as my first (!!!) jin piece.  i dedicate this to my loves @jinsearthh​ and @seokjinssi​ lmao.  enjoy!

pairing.  ksj x reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  angst.  but like, not really terrible angst.  just semi-bad angst.  wc.  1.8k.

The call comes in the dead of night while you’re curled up in linen sheets and comfortably drooling into an unbelievably worn white plush.  It buzzes loudly in your ears, vibrating obnoxiously against your pillow.  Sleeping with your phone in bed is a bad habit you’ve never really been able to break.  

You’re barely awake - caught in that strange in-between land of lucidity - when you hazard a glance at the time and number.  2:47 AM.  Far too late for you to be receiving calls - especially from contact you don’t have saved. 

“Hello?”

“Hi.”  It’s a voice you’d never expected to hear.  A voice you haven’t heard in forever, clear as bells through the phone line.  “It’s Jin.”

You’re wide awake now. 

“Hello?”  It’s terribly jarring.  It jolts you straight up in the bed that hasn’t felt his warmth in close to three years, every notch of your spine electrified by the simple sound.  It rings, bouncing around in your ears.  

You should reply.  You don’t know how.  

“Are you there?”  Uncertainty and something else - something heavy and medicinal - coats syllables and turns them into molasses.  It drips off each vowel, rounding each consonant.  Your entire world feels like it’s spinning, tilted on its axis by this strange happening. 

“Jin?”  It doesn’t sound how it should - wishful and more than a little surprised.  It trips heavy off your tongue, splitting the darkness with the radiance of your hope.  

He laughs on the other end.  You realise now why he sounds different, the familiar squeak of his amusement dulled by liquor.  He’s drunk or at least, on his way to it.  The telltale signs are there:  the faintest hiccough after every second inhale, the vaguely nasally first syllable, the dulling of his rain-streaked laughter. 

“It’s me,”  he confirms, far more comfortable than he should be.  The relief practically radiates through the phone, further severing the strings that bid you back to bed.  “I didn’t know if you’d pick up or if you even had the same number still.”

At least he’s honest, you think. 

The conversation is carried on like there’s nothing at all strange, as if he - Kim Seokjin - hasn’t just called up his ex-girlfriend at quarter to three in the morning. 

“How are you?  Did I wake you up?”

You know your silence is rude.  It’s stifling in a way that even he can’t combat, sitting stony between you two as you try to wrap your mind around the current situation.  

“Hello?”  He repeats, vaguely uncertain but not otherwise bothered.  That bothers you. 

“Why did you call?”  You can’t help the question.  It pierces the quiet before you can catch it, disappearing into the night like a thief.  It takes with it all of your turmoil, tucking years of hurt in its pockets to wear on its sleeves. 

That seems to catch him off guard.  He inhales once - a sharp thing, right through his front teeth.  

“Ah, yeah.  I—“  You wonder whether he’s even given this any thought or if he’s just been driven to it by the beguiling hand of liquor.  You wouldn’t put it past him, though he’s never been one to drink himself into bad ideas.  He was smarter than that. 

He pauses.  It’s long, drawn out, punctuated by city sounds you assume come from 27 floors below his apartment.  They’re muffled and unrecognisable, the din of Yongsan-gu too faraway.  

“I… was thinking of you.” 

There’s a strange confidence to his response, a self-assured calm that feels like moments before a storm.  It eases uncertainty over your limbs, still wrought with sleep and sluggish.  He shouldn’t sound this way after so long, as if he’d never left.  A part of it feels nice, warm and welcomed into the cavity behind your ribs, tucked neatly alongside the organ that stutters because of him;  the other feels like a knife to the heart, slotted right between the vulnerable spaces you’d shown him.

You echo him in uncertainty.  “Thinking of me?”  

“I wanted to apologise.”

Now that’s the last thing you’d expected.  

“Apologise for what?”  Not that there aren’t so many things Jin owes you - so many I’m sorrys that would never make up for the rivers you’d wept, the nights you hadn’t slept.  

“How I left things.  How we left things.”  Something not quite a laugh comes, dresses his words up prettily like a sinner in his Sunday best, eager to learn and repent and do better.  “I know I can’t undo the past but I’m sorry for the ways I hurt you.”

It’s so vague even you aren’t sure what he’s referring to.  The brief but blinding relationship you’d had with him?  The heartbreaking, determined way in which he’d broken up with you?  The months thereafter when he’d still warmed your bed, where the strange in-between was no longer between awake and dreams, but love and not-love?  The pieces he’d left you to pick up yourself when he’d disappeared, seemingly out of the blue? 

“I still think about you a lot.  I miss you.  I wanted to make it right.”  When he backtracks, you realise he’s far smarter than you give him credit for.  “—Try to make it right, that is.”

“Why?”  You should demand more.  You know you should.  Yet this is the only thing that comes, dripping like the tears that line your lashes, glittering jewels that you’d trade for even an ounce of understanding. 

He hesitates.  There’s a clinking glass, ice, and then a thick swallow you can hear quite clearly.  “Why?  Why what?”

“Why did you leave?”  You’re really trying - holding onto composure with a white-knuckled grip that leaves your hands bleeding - but it’s futile.  The grief is too much - a thousand pound weight that splits the frayed edge of your composure in a clean line.  “Things were…”  Weird, strange, undoubtedly a bad idea, as messing with your ex tended to be.  “Things were okay, I thought.  And then out of nowhere, you were gone.  You stopped calling.”

For three long weeks, you’d jolted awake at 3 AM, waiting for the dedicated ringtone to alert you of his call.  It never came.  You’d waited even longer after that, though you’d learnt to turn your phone to silent.

Months turned to years and then one day, nearly four months later - there he was, displayed as a missed call at just after midnight.

You’d blocked him then, for your own sanity.  And then another six months after that, you’d unblocked him.  A moment of weakness you’d all but forgotten about until now.  You’d figured it wouldn’t matter - that there was no way he’d contact you again.  So much time had passed and he was Kim Seokjin;  you were nothing but a small blip on his radar - a tiny ink splatter on the story of his life.

“You blocked me.”  Or not.  

You tuck this knowledge - his knowledge - away into the manila folder you keep stored away in a dusty cabinet, covered in yellow tape that reads Do Not Open.

“Before that.  Three years ago.”  

“I honestly… don’t remember.”  The answer stings, candour a struck match to your already miserable nerves.  “It was bad timing, I think.  We were on the phone one night.  I was heading back from filming and I just remember being so mad.”  That doesn’t surprise you.  Jin’s temper rages like a wildfire before burning out like a match.  Intense but short-lived.  “You were having a bad day, too.  You’d started your new job and you were stressed out about something not working.”

You recall it clearly - can call to mind exactly what brief you’d been working and how that night had felt awful.  You’d hardly slept, almost pushed to tears by the frustration you’d felt.  For the life of you, though, you can’t recall an argument.  You’d been happy to hear from him - found solace in the sound of his voice, even as you’d worked through pages that made you want to tear your hair out. 

“I remember you were dismissive and it just…”  You imagine he shrugs, those impossibly wide shoulders of his rolling beneath something soft and sleep-appropriate.  His brow’s probably knit, little dent forming between them as always happens when he’s faced with discomfort.  “I didn’t want to deal with it.”

It’s an honest answer, which you’re grateful for.  It sheds light where there was one.

But it also hurts far more than you’d expected, stirring to life an ugly aching sob in your chest.  One night.  One night was all it’d taken.  The realisation is sobering in its pain.

“And… now you want to apologise for that?”  It doesn’t make sense.  Not to you, at least, who holds three long years of unrequited love for a man who’d thrown you away over nothing.

“I want to apologise for a lot of stuff.”  Things he doesn’t seem ready to articulate just yet, either due to his inebriation or contrition.  “I didn’t think you’d pick up, so I’m kind of still working through it in my head.”  You can hear his smile, turned playful by alcohol.

It’s like waging war when you speak - your heart against your head.  “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“But… I miss you.” 

I miss you too, you almost say.  

“Did you miss me enough to drink or did you drink enough to miss me?”  Comes hushed instead.

Jin isn’t ready for the conversation.  You know he isn’t - can tell by how he inhales shakily, knocks back another drink that rattles ice noisily.  “That’s not fair.”

“You’re not fair,”  you return in a voice that’s meant to be scathing but seems to have found itself at the bottom of his glass, wet and diluted.  “You’re calling me because you feel bad and for whatever reason, you think I’m going to make that go away.”  

He’s not wrong - you would, in a heartbeat.  But there’s a very big difference between would and should and you’re doing your best to learn what that is, even if it hurts.  

“What do you think’s going to happen after I forgive you?  Are we just going to go back to our lives like nothing happened?”

“If you want.”

You laugh, a sound that’s brutalised by your own sadness and barely sounds like anything at all.  “And what if I don’t want that?  What if I want you in my life?”  

Another pause, another drink.  There’s a part of you that worries for him.  

“You know that’s not an option.  Not right now.  We’ve got so much happening right with our comeback and then enlistment and…”  It’s a cop out.  You can see it from a mile away, a red flag raised to mock you as Jin speaks.  “I can’t give you what you want.”

“Then neither can I.”

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​​

[robininthelabyrinth]

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

- Chapter 5 -

Lao Nie did not, in the end, cast them out, but there was dissatisfaction in his eyes, a certain coldness in his dealings with Meng Shi in particular – he was never intentionally cruel, as Meng Yao might have feared, but his visits to her courtyard stopped, and their dealings returned to those early days when she had been a stranger he had agreed to host rather than a member of the family.

It wasn’t as noticeable with Meng Yao, shifting from being treated as a ward of the family to a sect disciple like all the others, but it was – still noticeable.

Meng Yao tried not to complain, especially after the first time he overheard Nie Mingjue arguing with his father in his study about it. The study was built with thick stone and lined with tapestries to boot, but two explosive Nie tempers raging against each other was not an easy thing to muffle, especially to someone as good as eavesdropping as Meng Yao. The gist of it was that Nie Mingjue didn’t care about the politics of it, about the loss of face, and the only thing his father said that had even a slight impact on him was that it meant that they didn’t trust them.

There had been a brief moment of silence, the words hitting their mark and leaving a wound, and then Nie Mingjue started arguing again.

It wasn’t true that Meng Yao didn’t trust him, but Meng Yao didn’t know how to make that clear. If he told Nie Mingjue that he trusted him, Nie Mingjue would believe him, because they were brothers and good brothers believed each other, but it would be something he would do purposefully, intentionally, something he would make himself belief when what Meng Yao wanted was for him to know the truth of it deep down in his heart, in his core, in those steely principles of his that did not know how to bend.

So he didn’t tell him, and turned his attention to sect matters instead, determined to make himself useful.

(He could have gone to Nie Mingjue with his grievances, whispered them in his ear again and again until Nie Mingjue was willing to do anything for him – but love like that was a gamble that could be lost in a single throw of the dice, the way his mother had, and he didn’t want that. So he had to be useful, instead.)

Meng Yao threw himself into learning how the Unclean Realm operated, knowing that sect leaders were often too busy to handle the minutiae themselves; he studied the kitchens, the forges, the stables, and more with the same enthusiasm as his actual classes.

He tried to make himself useful, tried to make himself irreplaceable – and he was.

Being useful helped reduce the sting of the letters that appeared on his bedside table as if by magic, the letters that reminded him of his long-term plan to work his way into Wen Ruohan’s confidence by pretending that he could be coaxed into being his spy – the only thing that made it remotely tolerable was that Discussion Conferences happened only once a year, and Wen Ruohan was never invited to Qinghe beyond that.

The same could not be said of their other allies.

The small sects were easily disposed of, but not the Great Sects; of them, only the Lan sect came in force to pay a visit to the Unclean Realm – and so Meng Yao was properly introduced to Lan Xichen for the first time.

Lan Xichen was everything Meng Yao ever imagined a cultivator to be: kind and gentle, graceful and polite, a proper well-born gentleman that would never let a harsh word pass through his lips, while also being talented in every art, powerful in his cultivation, and handsome to the point of beauty – basically perfect, without any of Nie Mingjue’s flaws: his temper, rigidity, obvious naivete, and carelessness.

Naturally, Meng Yao couldn’t stand him.

Maybe it would have been different if he’d met him a few years earlier, or even a few years later. Maybe he would have felt seen, seen and appreciated, because Lan Xichen truly did seem to appreciate him, his talents, his intelligence, everything. Maybe Lan Xichen would have become the white moonlight in his heart, forever out of reach, or maybe Meng Yao would have let his worst tendencies overtake him until he sought to conquer him, to lie to him until he stood by his side even to the point of forsaking his own principles, to keep him all for himself and no one else, because Lan Xichen’s one flaw was that he was too much a gentleman, that he gave out trust as if it were nothing and always thought the best of people, that he sympathized with whoever seemed to spill their heart to him first –

Meng Yao could have had him wrapped around his little finger in no time.

You say you’re his friend, Meng Yao thought, glaring, but you were at that awful Discussion Conference last year, too, and where were you when he needed you? Asleep, that’s where!

Possibly he was a little jealous.

Jealous of the way Nie Mingjue seemed flattered by Lan Xichen’s attention, almost riveted by it, as if Lan Xichen were better than he was and his views more important; jealous of the way Nie Huaisang’s eyes were always trained on the “pretty gege” that came to visit them every morning; jealous of how Lan Xichen seemed to have everything Meng Yao had ever wanted in the world served up to him on a platter.

No, he couldn’t stand him, perfect creature that he was. Meng Yao would make nice with him and wait for him to leave, and that would be that.

Naturally, about a week after he made that decision, Lan Xichen found Meng Yao alone in the garden one afternoon and confessed his affections.

“I…what?” Meng Yao gaped at him. “You like me?”

Lan Xichen’s cheeks were beautiful when they flushed red. “I admire you.”

He’d said more than that – he’d said that Meng Yao was brilliant and graceful, thoughtful and level-headed, talented and hard-working, a tragic figure that had overcome his circumstances through his own efforts – but Meng Yao was still having trouble believing he’d managed to pull the wool over this beautiful boy’s eyes without even trying.

(Meng Yao was all of those things, yes, except that he was also a spiteful son of a bitch and after enough years with the Nie sect, which valued straightforwardness and honesty, he was self-aware enough to know it.)

If he still listened to his mother’s advice above his own instincts, perhaps Meng Yao would have smiled shyly, averted his eyes and accepted the compliment, perhaps offered to hold his hand while he was there – per Nie sect rules, they weren’t old enough for more than butterfly kisses, so even if he was repulsed, which he secretly wasn’t at all, he could have managed it – and maybe suggested keeping up a correspondence, planning for the future. It was never a bad idea to have another patron in your back pocket, after all.

Perhaps it was the corruption of the sect’s principles, some of Nie Mingjue’s righteousness rubbing off on him, or just the fact that Meng Yao and his mother were having a bit of a cold period between them as she tried to get back into Lao Nie’s good graces (or worse, Jin Guangshan’s, even after everything) in what Meng Yao thought were all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons, but he decided not to do that.

He decided to be a little more honest, instead.

“Your view of me is idealized,” he said, more delicately than Nie Mingjue’s bluntness would have been. “There’s nothing ennobling about hardship, and being piteous can eventually become as tiring as being pitied. You would be better off waiting to learn more about me to see if you actually like me, or else you might as well just paint a picture and live with your dreams of me instead.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes filled with tears, even though Meng Yao had been trying to be nice, and he made some excuses before running away. When Nie Mingjue found him later, Meng Yao told him about it, and Nie Mingjue hummed thoughtfully.

“His mother is very sickly,” he said. “I heard that she can’t leave her house; per Lan sect rules, as boys, Xichen and his brother are only able to visit her once a month – otherwise, they only have pictures.”

Meng Yao put his head in his hands. “So you’re saying I accidentally poked at his most vulnerable point. While trying to be nice.”

He needed to get his hands on better information than he had. Maybe his mother had the right idea after all about figuring out what people wanted…

“I think it’s a good thing,” Nie Mingjue said. “The Lan sect only allow themselves to love once, which is a stupid rule, but imagine if he committed to someone and then realized he’d made a mistake?” He paused. “Not that you’d be a mistake, of course.”

“Of course not, I’m perfect and everything about me is more important than other people,” Meng Yao said, only somewhat joking.

Nie Mingjue cuffed him upside the head, but nodded agreeably – still a fool, after all these years.

“Still, I suppose that’s one useful connection I’ve ruined,” Meng Yao added with a sigh. “He won’t want to see me again.”

Nie Mingjue snorted. “You’re joking, right? The only thing you’ve done is add ‘insightful’ to the list of qualities he likes about you. He’ll still want to write to you, I promise – only maybe he won’t be quite so quick to pity you.”

For once, Nie Mingjue’s guess about people turned out to be the right one, and Lan Xichen turned out to be a lot more tolerable when you could tease him out of his Lan-sect otherworldliness.

Meng Yao supposed he could stand him after all.

(He was so very pretty. Even in the brothels, with all the paint and tricks in the world, Meng Yao had never met anyone who looked better than he did.)

It helped that Lan Xichen had the good taste to appreciate all the good aspects of Nie Huaisang, who at four was starting to turn into an actual person – a lazy spoiled brat of a person, sure, but Meng Yao couldn’t really blame him for it, not when Nie Mingjue was the sort of person to yell ‘no’ at an outrageous request and then give in immediately thereafter because the person he’d yelled at looked sad.

The doctors confirmed that Nie Huaisang would be weak all his life, his body underdeveloped in the womb, but the only thing that meant was that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue had to work even harder to make sure the third young master of Qinghe would have a good life, untroubled and carefree.

And they could do it, too: Nie Mingjue had a general’s mind and the strength to back it up, with a frankly outrageous talent for cultivating that Meng Yao had incorrectly assumed was the result of starting early but eventually realized from the expressions of their teachers was in fact idiosyncratic, and Meng Yao had the cunning and paranoia he inherited from his mother. His own cultivation was progressing very nicely, his outstanding memory helping him pick up techniques as soon as he saw them and helping him figure out how to best utilize his speed and flexibility – aspects that would have made him a good swordsman, though Meng Yao found that all those years of seemingly pointless training had strengthened his arms and shoulders enough that his only slightly subpar saber skills tended to catch others by surprise.

He thought he wasn’t far away from receiving his own saber, his Chiwen, right within the usual age range for it, and when that happened he would at last be safe, only one final confirmatory mission away from being a full-fledged Nie sect disciple who knelt before his sect leader to swear loyalty. The conditions for expelling a disciple from the sect were very strict, codified in sect law – barring any premeditated murder, rape, or arson or suchlike, once in, it would be very hard to force him to leave except if he wanted to.

He could stay forever.

He would stay forever.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 23

Chapter Selection 

Aaron POV

I was in my office glancing at the doors every few minutes. I was expecting y/n to walk in and go to her desk; she never did. She was still at the house when I left... where the hell is she. 

I looked at the clock she was an hour late, I took out my phone and tapped on her contact. The phone started ringing... and kept ringing. Eventually it went to voicemail. Maybe she was still driving and didn't want to answer the phone. 

I called again and again and still no answer. I was getting anxious; I stood for my chair and walked into the bullpen, "Have you guys heard from y/n today." They said no and asked what was wrong, I ignored them. 

I went down to Garcia's office, typing in the code and going in. I shut the door and stood behind her putting a hand on her chair, "Sir you scared me." I hummed. 

"Can you track y/n's phone, I haven't heard from her." 

"Ok... it says she is on 5, she's not moving. Hold on- there was an accident that just happened this morning", she said turning to me. "Do you think it's her?" 

"I don't know, don't tell the team where I'm going. I need to make sure." Garcia nodded turning to her computers. Going into the elevator I waited for seemed like forever to get to the parking lot. I started driving to 5... 

It couldn't be her she would never be reckless. When I arrived at her last location there were cop cars and a fire truck. I approached one of the officers. "Do you know what happened here?" 

"Truck rear ended that car. There was one person injured... that's all we know." I tried to ask him what hospital they took the person too but he didn't know. I called Garcia.

"I think it was y/n... from what I can tell it's her car. Where are they taking her." 

"Oh my god... uh yeah- they're going to... the General Memorial." I hung up the phone immediately getting into my car and driving. I didn't pay any attention to the speed limit or really any other cars, I just wanted-- needed to get to her. 

When I got to the parking lot I ran in going to the front desk, "I'm here for a y/n y/l/n.”

The lady was going to give me a bullshit excuse so I pulled out my credentials and she told me what room to find her in. I went to the 2nd floor room 225, I walked in and there she was. 

I saw her chart on the wall, she had a concussion and some miner internal damage but ultimately she was going to be okay. I took a seat next to her bed letting Garcia know she was fine. The car was on fire... if she was in there. 

Y/n POV

I didn't open my eyes yet but I could feel another presence in the room. I could smell their cologne and in an instant I knew who it was Aaron. I started moving around; I winced in pain, "You're awake." I sensed him move closer and grab my hand. 

I opened my eyes and the lights burned my eyes for a moment before they adjusted. He had a sad smile on his face, "How are you?" My lips tugged upwards, "Good for someone who just got hit by a car..." The realization set in and I remembered the whole event. 

I snapped my head towards Aaron, "How's Jack." he furrowed his brows in confusion. "What do you mean? You dropped him off didn't you?" I shook my head. "H- he was in... the car", I let out a small yeah and closed my eyes tight. 

"Do you kno- know where he is." 

"When I woke up in the car Jack was gone... I didn't see anything." I watched as anger washed over Aaron, his son was missing and I was my fault. 

He didn't blame me but himself for not driving with me or taking Jack himself. "We got to tell the team. This is a case till I say otherwise." He walked out the room and made some calls. A few minutes later he walked back in and sat down with me. 

Aaron was about to speak when the nurse entered the room, "You're up, how are you feeling on a scale of 1 - 10." 

"Maybe 5", She jotted down on my chart and checked my vitals. "You seem to be ok, we'll check up another hour then we can get you the discharge papers and get you out of here." I gave her a smile and resumed the conversation with Aaron.

"Do you know how long it's been since the accident", he sat down in the chair next to me.

 "Maybe a few hours, I'm not sure... give me a cognitive."

"Who do you think might've done this." I racked my brain trying to find the answers that were hidden away. My concussion made it harder to remember little details. I sat up in the bed while Aaron turned the lights down. 

I held my head in my hands, rubbing my temple like somehow it was going to give me my memory back. I was focusing, running the moments in my mind, going through frame by frame like it was a movie.

"I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked for Jack- he wasn't in the car so I crawled out the broken window. I stumbled my way to the road and I saw a car pass by... shit." I forgot who was driving it but they looked familiar, I couldn't figure out if it was a male or female.   

"I'm going to get some sleep... it'll come back to me", Aaron looked down at his hands; a tear falling from his eye onto the floor. I noticed. "Aaron, it’ll be okay. We'll find him." He glanced at me, wiping his eyes.

"Yeah I know", I grabbed his hand and held it reassuringly. I laid back down and closed my eyes. 

"Watch out!" I didn't understand what Jack was talking about until it was too late. There was a truck headed towards the car, slamming into the rear end.

Before I knew it the car was tumbling; I got knocked out and when I came too I was upside-down. My vision was fading in and out and my ears were ringing, I made out trees and wet grass. 

I was able to unbuckle my seatbelt and turn around- Jack was gone and I didn't see a trace of him anywhere. No blood, clothes... just nothing. I stumbled out of the car and made my way to the road. Seeing a car drive passed, what I did get was a clear view of the driver... Mark. 

I jerked up, tugging on Aaron's hand and waking him up as well, "Mark took Jack." When the words fell from my lips Aarons anger returned. He kept calm but I could tell he was fuming underneath. The nurse walked back in, "Here you go." 

She dropped off the discharge papers; Aaron signed them in an instant and we left. He took me home, out of habit I checked the mail, oh fucking course. I followed Aaron inside and set the note that he left on the island. We read it together. 

You took my child away from me... something special. I can't have you y/n I cared about you.                          You fucking killed my kid. So I took something from you. 

When we were done the letter I got a call from Morgan; I put him on speaker. "Guy's you might want to get back here, this is something I can't say to you over the phone." 

I ended the call and hopped back into the car, my head was pounding from all the movement but I didn't care. Aaron rushed back to the office entering the doors and elevator. We reached the bullpen and we saw the team gathered in the round table room. 

Rossi nodded to Garcia and she turned on the tv, and it was a live feed. 

Jack was in a blacked out room, there were toys on the floor and a flat broken bed. The wallpaper was dingy and peeling. A single window allowed light into the room with crust and dirt almost completely covering it. 

Aaron was fuming, I could feel it radiating off of him. I hesitantly reached up to his arm and guided him out to his office away from everyone. "What the fuck!", he yelled out. 

"Baby, I'm pissed off too but you need to calm down." He turned, going behind his desk and leaning his hands on it. 

"And how exactly am I supposed to fucking do that! Please tell me!", he shouted and I felt small. I backed away from him going into the corner; I felt tears brimming my eyes. I get he was beyond pissed and I was too, Jack was basically a son to me. I let him express the anger. 

He slowly calmed down and realized what he did. His face dropped and he hesitantly made his way over to me, "Y/n I'm sorry." He said softly.

"It's fine", my voice was strained trying to keep it together, him yelling... reminded me of- him. 

I took my time then I stood in front of him. "I get it, not completely but I do. One time... that's it, we all lose it sometimes-", I went closer to him gripping his jaw and making him look at me in my eyes. 

"But if you ever. yell at me like that again, I'm not going to be so understanding", I saw tears in his eyes, the rage melted away and now he was just- missing his son. He nodded and he hugged me, resting his head on mine. 

"Trust me, I'm not gonna yell at you again."

2 days later

"Where is he!?", I heard from coming from the bullpen. I glanced at Aaron asleep on the couch and decided to leave him. I opened the door and saw an angry Hayley coming through.

"You can't be here", I stared at her as she came closer to Aarons office. "Fuck the restraining order, where the hell is my son", I knew if she found out that I was with him when he was kidnapped she would quite literally  shoot me right here. 

I didn't answer but the commotion attracted the attention of everyone in the office. I felt a hand on my lower back and I turned; the yelling woke Aaron up. "What do you want?", she looked at him dumbfounded.

"Is anyone gonna tell me where my goddamn son is?"

"He's not here", Hayley scoffed clearly. "You would think his father would know." I wanted to punch her, I could just imagine my hand hitting her in the jaw. 

No one on the team liked Hayley but they thought she should at least know. Rossi walked out of the round table room and called her over. She made her way through the door and was met with the live feed of Jack; he was sleeping in the thin bed. 

I watched her as she fell on the floor and was crying. Nobody bothered to pick her up or console her. Eventually she collected herself and stood against the table. Tears still flooding her face she turned to me, "This is your fault, you and your fucking ex husband." 

Aaron was quick to cover me and standing in front, "This isn't anyone's fault." Fully standing up she took a step towards him, "Of course you'd say that. You're the one that lost him." 

"If you weren't deemed unfit for a time then you would've had him with you. Then you can blame yourself. Like I said this isn't anyone's fault." He spat the words out and I was thinking what she said. In a way this was my fault, it was just Mark. He was behind everything although we already knew that. 

If I had never been with Aaron he wouldn't be in this situation, Jack wouldn't be. I pushed the thoughts back in my mind, I didn't notice but Hayley was gone and Garcia had cut the feed. 

I walked up to her, "Are you sure you can't track it?" Pen shook her head.

"It's bouncing off of so many proxy servers- I'm sorry." I sighed and went back to Aaron. He had walked back into his office when Hayley left. I softly knocked on the door, "Not right now." Not listening I opened the door, He was laying on the couch with his arm resting on his head. 

"I said not right no- oh", he saw me and sat up. I went to the couch and sat down, Aaron laid his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair, "Get some sleep." He closed his eyes; I knew he was sleeping when I felt his breathing steady and he was taking deep breaths.

I moved and got up, careful to not wake him after some time. I turned off the lights and walked out to the briefing room. I was thinking about Jack, just missing his face. I saw the remote in the middle of the table and picked it up. 

When I the tv turned on there he was, Jack was awake. It was getting dark out but the camera had night vision. He was scared and cold; I could see his breath in the video. His birthday was coming up and we might not be there for it. 

I had the video muted because I couldn't bring myself to turn it on. To hear his voice calling out for his dad... me. It broke my heart. 

I was driving him to school and within seconds I was flipped over and he was gone. I made silent promises to myself that we were going to get him back. I heard steps behind me and a hand on my shoulder. 

"How are you doing?", Reid sat down next to me. "Right now... not great. I miss that kid so fucking much, he was like a son to me." Reid reached his hand out.

"It'll be okay, we're going to find him." I knew he was right but I can't help the thought if we never did. How would Aaron and I move on? Would he blame me for it? 

"What if we don't." He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to comfort me. 

"We can't start thinking like that, we will", he was right. The negative mindset was going to set us off course. I needed to think of Mark; what was his end game. 

He wanted a child and that's why he thought I was a safe bet, he thought I'd keep it. All I could think of was that he wanted a child. Not a random child but one that had a connection to me. He wanted to feel like I was around him all the time. 

Jack was young and impressionable, he picked up some habit that I did. He wasn't going to hurt Jack but raise him as his own. Even though he was young he wasn't going to forget his parents. Which makes sense considering he was in a locked room. 

"Do yourself a favor, go home the rest of the team and I will keep working." I give him a sad smile and pat his back and walk to get Aaron. When I walked in Aaron was at his desk on the computer. 

I didn't say anything, I went over to him and sat on his lap wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands traveled to my waist and back holding me close. "Spencer said we should go home", he hummed in agreement. 

I pulled back and looked at him in his eyes, "He's not wrong, we need sleep." I got off him and pulled him up by his hand. He closed the laptop and grabbed his stuff; walking out towards the elevator we were getting eyes from the team. 

Getting pity looks, It’s what I didn't want. The unwanted attention followed us through the building as we walked through to the parking lot. Word traveled and we had people feeling bad for us everywhere. 

When we sat in the car we didn't speak. Silence coated the both of us, we just needed time. The darkness from outside made the both of us feel alone. 

Going into the empty house, no laughter, no cartoons in the background. I glanced at the coffee table seeing the drawing he made while he was waiting for me to take him to school.  

Aaron and I looked into his bedroom seeing his toys neatly stored away like he taught him. The made bed that I showed him how to do because he never listened to Aaron. I thought back to that moment and it made me smile. 

I tugged on Aaron's arm bringing him to bed. We laid down and I pulled him close to me. I was hopping any second I would hear the patter on the floor as Jack ran into the room but... nothing.

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