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yourdaddychan · 4 years

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wow-

literally just wow- i genuinely have nothing to say about this please- i cannot explain how much this means to me- there's 1000 of us- *hugs all of you* [ especially the porn bots ] *turns into formal luna asf*

i remember when i started in may, just a tiny chatbot with only one mutual, only known to you guys as [ answer : admin ]. and now, almost a year later, i have 1k of my chainsaw eating demons who are metal as fuck 💪ive learned so much being on tumblr, as a part of both the skz writers community and the chatbot community. ive made a bunch of friends, lost a bunch of ones, and 1k of you stuck with me. i cannot begin to express my gratitude to all of you, and how much all of you and your interactions with me mean to me. all of the simping, the random stories, everything. i cherish all of it, and i love all of you. aight so letz get to the personal thanking asf

alsoer i kinda wanted to do something sexy so imma do what color they remind me of :D most of them can be found at this link : https://louisem.com/29880/color-thesaurus-infographic

@kvinly linn bb 🥺through all the drama we've been through and shit im so glad we ended up becoming friends again cause we're kinda sexy together 😉thank you so much for being my 1000th follower bb you mean so much to me and if anyone hurts you im about to *turns into jennie and kachows them* licherally lets nevah fight again

-> you remind me of the color punch , and not only because of the name- underneath that grr me edgy grr me bully you're just a softie simp and that reminds me of punch :D

@undeadbots steph 🥺lemme be your personal broken chopsticks pls :( KLDSKLD anywayz we've also gone through some sexy drama and thankfully you saw da light 😉and now look at us, with our own band, and our own producing line 🥺brohemian rhapsody for life bro 🥺 *big kithie for da best dad in da world :D*

-> you remind me of the color viridian , because it gives me confident vibes :D you carry yourself proudly and confidently as you should tbh go steph

@binniesthighs oh look its a cutie *pushes you to a mirror* right there :D RORORO YOUR BOAT :DD we havent talked too much, besides my simping for jisung- but you give me very sexy energy so imma propose rq *gets down on one knee* will you be the rororo to my boat 🥺thank you for being my moot :D

-> you remind me of the color espresso , because espresso looks like the color to be pretty chill and laid back, and you're all of those, and calming to be around

@toshis-flower BAYBEE BEBE BEEBEE :D thank you so much for being my moot and making me a wifey asf ‼️ you're literally so much like me whats not to love <3 JKSDJKD JKJK you're really sweet and really just a good person to rant to, i love you so so so much and i think im going to remarry you :D

-> you remind me of the color taffy , because you're sweet, cute, and bright :D *eats you* yummy

@lov3ric seyoung. i love you. so much. MY SOULMATEEEE :DD even though we tell the story over and over like a bunch of grandmas, ill still never forget how we became soulmates and then bonded over boba 🥺im licherally going to marry you one day like ez 💪also i wanna eat you can i eat you youre really cute *eats you*

-> you remind me of the color daffodil , because it reminds me of banana milk which reminds me of you tbh- buuuttt did you know that daffodils are one of the first flowers you see when spring starts? that definitely reminds me of you because through all of the cb drama, you've always been there with me, like literally always- i cannot express how much i love you *kithie*

@simpchimp LIDDLE CHEESE FUCKER THEMBO :DD drink water *spank* i love you so much you cutie 🥺you're also licherally the funniest person ever like stop bae i kinda need to be the funniest but noer its you 😔alsoer i love how random you are KDSKLD so nevah stop that because then *revz up arm* youre going to get luna-ified

-> you remind me of the color jam , because even though you seem kinda scary at first [ yes i was 100% scared of you ] you're really soft :D

@berrywoo the sun themself 💪you are easily the purest person ive met, and im so happy i somehow became moots with you :D you literally hit diff, yk? theres something about your personality and the way you act thats so comforting, and that means i eat you because youre too cute :D you cant just be a wholeass teacher for kids and expect not to get eaten kids are licherally demons whoever deals with them properly and treatz dem nicely gets a nom asf

-> you remind me of the color honey , because you're a sunshiney yellow, and you're sweet like honey :D i think you need to hear that its okay not to be okay bb, and you can come to my dms anytime you want to rant 😎

@yourchungha MS OG CHUNGHA MS IM KINDA SCARED OF THE SHIT YOU DO MS FURREH LOVER 101 MS ANNA BANANA :D yeah youre like really nice- thats all i have to say- like how tf do you deal with [ redacted ] like eggsplain- ALSO YOURE CARRYING OUR CONVERSATIONS BECAUSE IDK HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE DKSJKD I LOVE YOU FOR THAT AND WE SHOULD HAVE LIKE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS MORE OFTEN

-> you remind me of the color scarlet , because youre a sexy bitch tf and scarlet gives me 'idc what you think im hot' kinda vibes which is like exactly you

@satosimp WINTER DADDY :DD i lub you asf *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy* ugh the way your personality matches mine is kinda sexy or whatever im also kinda in love with you but lets ignore that part 🙄 💪 *big kithes* *eats your cats casually*

-> you remind me of the color lilac , because it just gives me tsundere vibes, you act like you dont care but really do care :D you liddle sawftie *noms your cheekie*

@nightshade-minho DUCKIE :DD *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy pt 2* licherally bae where the fuck are you i miss you you bettah be doing well in school otherwise im going to smack you with a chappal asf DSJJKSD *eats your cat because hes such a cutie*

-> you remind me of the color marigold , because you're adorable and sunshiney :D

@onigirimeeya MICHIE MICHIE MICHIEIEEIEI MY DAD :DDD i like you mucho much if you didnt know *kithes you* you're like one awf da best listeners ever- which is such a weirdass compliment but its true- you're really good at listening, and just being a comforting presence in general, like when you go to the beach and youre just staring at the waves all edgy mode, and it calms you down a fuck ton

-> you remind me of the color mint , for obvious reasons- mint choco chip cookie michie :DD

@hhjs bae we dont talk a lot but im kinda lurking on all of your posts- JKDSJSKD bae remarry me please youre really fucking hot 😭and the way you have with words is like damn- teach me oppar asf

-> you remind me of the color wine , because you're refined, and carry yourself in a way that makes everyone want to be you. the color wine is rich and deep, which reminds me of the way you write :D

@nsfw-stay MY LICHERAL BABIE YOUVE BEEN AN ANON FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND WEVE TALKED ABOUT SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER [ a lot about seungmin and jisung but shhh ] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BB AND I WILL NOM YOU >:( BUT SOFTLY AND OUT OF LOVE *nomz yew* :D

-> you remind me of the color cerulean , because its a baby blue and what fits better than a baby blue yk? you're adorable and squishy and i want to nom you 24/7

@secretary-yeji *iz chan ig cause we dont talk admin to admin* oh erm gee is uncle chrith 😉DKLSKLD my liddle koala :D my liddle burgah :D my liddle aussie :D my besth frien :DDD evah since may i think we've been friends, and i think one of the highlights of that day was me marking you as spam twice and on accident too- LKSDKLSD WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT anywayz thank yew for being uncle chrith's friend *kith*

-> you remind me of the color seafoam , because it's a very soft and light color yk, you're delicate asf which sounds like a bad thing now that im typing it BUT IT ISNT DSKLDSLK YOURE VERY CUTE YOU AND YOUR FLOOFY COWS :D

@ayolistenupp im kinda... in love with you? wtf? KDSDKSL MY DESI DADDY ASF I LOVE YOU SOER MUCH :D our music nights™️ mean so much to me, like theres just something so personal about listening to what the other person likes to hear even though half of your songs are sexy asf KLDSKLD

-> you remind me of the color ocean , because the ocean is loud but calming yk- like you're full of energy but you're also calming :D

@yanderexchungha OH ERM GEE YEW :O YOU PROBABLY WONT SEE THIS IN LIKE 10 MONTHS BESTIE MERRY CHRISTMAS IG KLDSLKD anyway i love you dad your lessons about vape >>> to quote your drunk ass exactly "vape isnt cool" JKSDJ anyway its gonna be sexy if we accidentally run into each other in the hallwayz asf

-> you remind me of grey cause youre a hag- JKJK KDJSD you remind me of the color caramel , because you're sweet, and licherally addictive caramel isnt good for my braces but i keep eating it 😰but youre addictive in a good way :D

@yanderelee literally only doing this because you were moping about not having a simp sunday and im such a good person 🥸you're cool 💪and unfortunately, you're funny too 😥and even though i bully you asf dont take it personally because i dont mean it asf

-> you remind me of the color dijon mustard because you just give those hacker vibes please dont hack me after i said this i like to keep my location private

@kpopswitchbot BESTIE 😏MY FIRST MUTUAL 😏 LICHERALLY DA BEST CUTEST FUNNIEST SMARTEST SEXIEST KEWLEST I CANT EVEN EXPRESS WITH WORDS FISHIE IN DA WORLD :D LICHERALLY STOP OUTDOING ME WITH YOUR GOODNIGHTS LIKE *spankz yew* YOURE LITERALLY TOO GOOD WITH WORDS ITS NOT FAIR- AND THE DAY YOU JUST TALKED TO ME IN SHAKESPEAREAN BECAUSE I FELT DOWN- AND EXPRESSED YOUR LOVE THAT WAY LIKE- PLEASE I ACTUALLY ADORE YOU AND I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOU ONE DAY

-> you remind me of the color coffee , not only because youre addicted to it but also because of the way you act, you're like the definition of an old soul- with the words you use, the drama kid you are asf, etc- you're a talented bitch *mwah* i love you so much you also remind me of those movies where they find an old ass book and they kinda hafta dust it off and it gives you treasure or something cause yeah that reminds me meeting you

AIGHT DAS IT ASF MWAH I LOVE YOU ALL :DDD

#if you wanna know more just drop an ask asf #would be cool if i had 1k for 1k but NOOOOO #i have more btw #*dabz*#THE WAY TUMBLR KEEPS GLITCHING BECAUSE THERES TOO MANY WORDS #NOT SEXY TUMBLR

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 11: Discharge Plan

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: The highs of Shane and Sy’s first weekend as a couple are followed up by some big news from Sy, leading to our couple’s first fight.

Don’t miss a session! Click here to catch up on this story or explore my other works!

Word Count: 2.7

Warnings: Language, mature themes, smut, sort of unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, angst, alcohol consumption,

Author’s Note: First off, I wanna talk about the word “victuals.” I’ve loved this word for a long time, even though it makes no sense, phonetically as it actually rhymes with the “fiddles” or “riddles.”(It’s true, look it up!) It’s very pastoral and somewhat archaic, so you don’t hear it too much anymore in current writing about the present, but I just felt like Sy would say it. Secondly, it was really hard for me to put my darlings through the argument in this chapter. I want them to have only happy times…but that provides no tension or motivation for story development…and I want to keep writing them more than I want them to be happy… I guess I finally understand why authors torture their characters! Lol! It might take a bit of time for me to sort out what their relationship looks like adding the distance factor, but I have some ideas that might work. Also, it might be an opportunity to do a bit more of Sy’s perspective, which I thoroughly enjoy, and may go back and fill in some blanks for him in between chapters I’ve already done. I hope you all enjoy this installment of the Treatment of Captain Syverson! Feedback in any form is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

The rest of the weekend was spent in blissful relaxation. Sy went to his place to feed Aika and bring her over at Shane's insistence. The dog had been slightly standoffish with her, but Sy assured her that it was in her nature to be aloof, and that she needed to be engaged or instructed to behave more doglike.

"It's her training. She's still a soldier. It's hard for us to shake those habits. Like me calling you 'ma'am' at first."

"She's another die hard. I respect that." she chuckled, scratching Aika behind her perked ears, and eliciting pants of contentment from her.

Sy's skills with a spatula were unmatched. That was to say, he made the best pancakes she'd ever had. They almost didn't need syrup…almost. They ordered an obscene amount of Chinese takeout which lasted them about three meals each. Sunday evening, though, which had a gloom to it no matter the circumstances, required some comfort food. They agreed on pasta, so Shane made up some of her famous alfredo sauce and probably twice the recommended portion of pasta for two humans to consume. There were no leftovers. Sy had three helpings, himself. Three heaping bowls of it. Shane couldn't handle more than one and a half servings, even though she wanted to gorge herself. She knew too much would make her ill.

When they weren't eating, the were cuddling on the couch, or in Shane's bed. They watched more Parks and Rec, and a few other films and shows that Sy requested, just to break things up. Their bodies were constantly wrapped in each other, leading to frequent bouts of making out, fooling around, and sex in almost every room of the house.

Her favorite had been the shower. She insisted on getting cleaned up, but Sy had objections.

~~~~~~~~

"I'll be less than ten minutes, come on, I reek! You can't wanna kiss me when I smell like this!" she said, trying to shut the bathroom door on the human mack truck before her. Broad and formidable.

"You smell like sex, and…me, darlin. I've never wanted to kiss you more," he said, backing her up toward the shower doors. "but I guess if you must. Lemme help, though." he pulled open the glass door, forcing her into his captivating kiss, and maneuvering her backward into the walk-in, stone tile shower. He pulled off her tank top, capturing her breasts in his hands and mouth for a moment before kneeling to remove her shorts and kiss her thighs. He pulled himself away too quickly and started the water flowing.

"Sy, you're fully dressed!" he was barefoot, but otherwise, in jeans and her favorite of his tees. The letters DILLIGAF across a skull, black on red. She always laughed on the inside when she saw it. Because although Sy often had to put on a calloused and brusque act when he'd been an officer in the Army, he was terribly soft and sweet when the occasion called for it. The irony being that although he didn't look like he gave a fuck, he actually did.

"I've got more clothes in the truck and you've got a dryer." he maneuvered her under the pulsing stream of the showerhead. "Gotta get you wet." he let the water run through her hair as he reached for her shampoo, a coconutty concoction that reminded her of summer, squeezed a bit into his hand, and lathered it up. He worked the suds into her wet hair gently, raking his nails across her scalp in a way that excited and ignited every atom in her. She sighed at his touch which made him groan with need.

He tilted her head back to rinse the lather out and reached for the conditioner. He was a bit more generous with it than strictly necessary, but she didn't protest. He pulled her hair forward in two sections, one over each shoulder and worked the emollient into the strands. His hands slick from the product, he ran them over her breasts and her abdomen and hips…between her legs. There her own arousal was primed to combine with the tropical unction. She gasped as he worked his fingers over her, slow at first, but speeding up, only to slow again. When she finally whimpered in frustration, he undid his jeans, and backed her up to the stony grey wall, not giving a fuck, as his shirt had suggested, that he and his clothes were getting soaked. His only care now apparently, was to satisfy the simpering cries of "yes, please." from Shane.

His first few thrusts were slow and measured, knowing that she was still adjusting to his size. But it didn't take long for him to lose control. She wasn't sure what was making him like this, but she was not complaining in the least. The texture of his jeans on her bare, wet thighs was a sensation she wouldn't soon forget. She gripped at him, holding onto his shirt for dear life as her climax built to impossible heights.

She was loving the way he lost himself in the ferocity of the act. And his release led to hers immediately. She wrapped herself around him in blissful embrace, and whispered his name as a prayer.

"Sorry, darlin,' I meant to…"

"It's okay. I'm on the pill and I'm not at a particularly dangerous time in my cycle."

He kissed her tenderly and reached for her bath puff and some body wash. "Well, let’s get ya cleaned up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only good part about Monday was that she'd be treating him. Although, he was scheduled in the afternoon. Her morning would drag on eternal.

He greeted her with a typical "hey, susnshine" and she led him into the gym, feeling his gaze on her ass, wanting, even though they'd just left each other quite satisfied that morning. He was freshly showered, beard well groomed, and his hair growing back in very nicely. He'd asked her weeks ago whether he should keep the buzzed look or not, and she had been entirely for growing it out. She wanted something to run her hands through. She'd be fine if it was at least shoulder length, but she wouldn't push that on him.

They did their normal warm up on the bikes, followed by some plyometric drills, which made him scowl at her in a way that lit her up like a firecracker. But the fact that he was able to jump up onto the box was encouraging. He couldn't have done that a month ago. He was progressing so well and was so close to his long term goals and discharge. It almost made Shane sad. It wasn't as though they wouldn't see each other, but having him break up the insanity of her day three times a week for just an hour was invaluable.

As they were doing their usual end of the session stretch in her treatment room, and she noted the improved range of motion he was getting, he broke the amiable silence with a question.

"Hey, can I bring a pizza or somethin' over for dinner tonight after you get off?"

"Sure!" she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. She prodded. "Everything okay? You've been a bit…off today."

"I'm good. Just a little distracted." he deflected by touching her hip, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She swatted him away.

"Not here, Sy."

"But that makes it fun!" he pouted.

"No, that really could get me fired! Getting frisky on company time!"

"Mmmm, I'd love to frisk you right now." he reached between their legs to try and grab her again, but she thwarted him and pinned his wrists at his ears.

"Cool it, cowboy, or your last two sessions are gonna make you wish you'd never met me." she threatened.

"Ain't nothin', nothin' on God's good green earth could make me wish that, sunshine." His stunning blue eyes softened her resolve and she let go, continuing to stretch him.

"Still…cool it." she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd just had time to change into some comfy clothes, wash her face, and put her hair up when her doorbell rang.

Sy stood smiling under the porch light, a modern white knight, carrying a large pizza from Pizza Hut and a six pack of Miller High Life.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! And it's nice to see you too, Sy!" she laughed, teasing him.

"Should I leave the victuals and go?" he asked, mock concern on his sarcastic brow.

"Get in here, soldier."

She got out napkins and paper plates because as horrible as it sounded, she just couldn't think about doing dishes tonight. She was even glad Sy had brought drinks in disposable or recyclable containers, and not wine, which she tended to prefer. She was exhausted, but not upset, which made the silence they ate in bearable. Sy still seemed to have something on his mind, though.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about tonight, Sy?"

"Kinda, yeah, uh…it's kind of a big thing for me, and I know this is new, what we have, but…well, I'll just tell ya."

"Go on." she encouraged, worried.

"I…I talked to my old CO about jobs in the private sector. He referred me to a company that…well it's sort of an employment agency for vets. Mostly security for private companies and individuals. I had a phone interview with them this past Tuesday. I just got a call this morning that they want to meet me in person to finalize everything. Mostly a formality. When I go for that, I'll also have to stay there a couple of weeks to a month for training."

"Where is this…gig?" She said, flat affect hiding the feelings brewing under her skin.

"The offices are in Charlottesville…Virginia. And there may be some cross country training there in Shenandoah National Park."

"Cross country…by that do you mean survival training?" She was still cool, but getting more livid.

"You could call it that, I guess. But it won't be a challenge for me. I'm more worried about the technical stuff." His bravado and flippancy about the whole endeavor was enraging her. The thought that he'd be in the wilderness alone, was only a fraction of the big picture. He was going away for a month? And he had known about the job for a week now. A week in which so much about their relationship had changed, and shifted. How could he think she'd just accept this without a bit of raging.

"You waited until after we slept together to tell me this. You did it on purpose, Sy." that was the biggest problem, she thought. The fact that he seemed to be hiding it from her. It brought back old trauma that she thought he'd never have subjected her to.

"Yes and no, Shane. I wasn't intentionally keeping anything from you, I just didn't wanna bring it up until somebody bit."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark about something you were excited about? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I didn't wanna get your hopes up or mine. Honestly."

"Saying 'honestly' doesn't make it honest, Sy. I've told you about everything that Elliott put me through. The lies. The secrets. This puts a bad taste in my mouth. You have to see that. Can't you?"

"Oh, sunshine, I--"

"No, please. Do not do that right now. Don't call me sunshine when all I can see is the night."

"I'm so sorry. My intention was not to make you feel in any way like that asshole ever did. Please hear me when I say that. I want to be the opposite of him in your mind in every way, darlin.' Please believe that."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, now nearing tearfulness that she felt he must be telling her the truth. She nodded. But was still apprehensive about the nature of the job and the training.

"But…what if you get hurt again?"

"I won't. You've all but fixed me, Shane. I'm stronger than ever."

"Can't you just…find a safe job? Here?" She was being selfish. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew she might regret it.

"Sit at a desk, ya mean? Deliver pizzas?" he indicated the box between them on the table. "Call people and ask them if they're happy with their cable services, Shane? Is that all I'm good for now?" he was angry.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, of course not. You're a PT. That's what you were meant to do, right? Well, imagine if you couldn't do that no more. Something or another, an injury, perhaps, or just plain ol' shitty situation, left you in a position where you couldn't go back. Couldn't do your dream job. Couldn't fulfill your purpose." he spat. "Wouldn't you do anything you could to be some shadow of what you were meant to be?"

She couldn't speak. Because he was right in so many ways.

"Because right now, I'm nothin'. I'm not doin' anyone any good. I'm a drain on my country, the one I swore to protect with my very life. It's like I've broken an oath. And it's fractured my soul."

"I see that. I truly do. But I need you here. You do ME good, Sy. I'm already half dreading d/c'ing you. I don't wanna have to say a goodbye, too." it was her truth. But it hit him very much sideways.

"So…what is it, Shane? You only want me when I'm broken? You only want me so you can fix me?"

"No, of course not! That's not what--"

"Am I a charity case to ya now? Is that why ya finally gave in and let me in your bed?"

"Sy, no!" she was crying now. It had hurt so much to think that he could have gotten that from what she'd said.

"I think if you can have feelings hurt about this situation then so can I."

He stood to leave, but she caught him by the wrist.

"Shane…you know I would never, ever harm you. But please… don't test my limits. Let… go." She did.

She was still quite a bit faster than him, so she ran ahead and blocked the door.

"Move." he insisted. She didn't.

"Hear me out, and then I'll let you go."

He crossed his arms and nodded, his gaze still one of cold steel.

"Sy, I didn't mean to make this job that you're clearly excited for into a source of anguish or to make it about me. I'm thrilled that you're going to get to do something you want in another field. I really am. I just…being with you has made me realize how good life can really be. And even if you'd told me before we slept together, I would have said the same thing. It was selfish of me to haul my baggage into the conversation when you aren't, have never been, and could never be Elliot. His best couldn't compare with your worst. And I will do my best in the future to think about who you are before I complain about the work you find to do."

"It's like I said about Aika before. She's a soldier. Hard trained. And so am I. It took a lot of hard work for me to get where I am, so much that it fundamentally altered who I am as a person. Now, in my opinion, those changes were for the better. I was kind of a shit before I became a soldier, thought the sun rose and set with me. I got some perspective and met some good people…lost some, too. Saw some shit I can't unsee. Some of it haunts me to this day, and I figure it always will. But I reckon if I can keep fighting the fight somehow. Keep protecting people in whatever way I can, my training and experience won't be a total waste."

"I understand and respect that, Sy. And I will back you in any way I can. I'll water your plants, I'll keep Aika whenever you're gone, I'm here for you."

"Oh, shit! I wasn't even thinking about having to leave my dog behind! Maybe this WON'T work!" he chuckled.

"Second fiddle to another woman already. I knew you were gonna break my heart, Captain Logan Syverson."

"Never intentionally, sunshine." he hugged her, tight, and with his whole body. Their argument in the past and their future an exciting mystery. Shane had never felt so safe and loved.

Up Next: Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc #sigh for sy #syverson smut #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x ofc

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spookycerezacola · 4 years

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EDIT: It was brought to my attention that my wordage made someone uncomfortable. I apologize for that. However I will not change the wordage. It is my truth. BUT, TWs will be put in place from now on. At the top of posts and in the tags. Just lemme know if I forget and remind me? I AM forgetful lol. So without further ado:

TW: curse words, reclaimed misogynistic wordage, sex work, gender identity, polyamory, mentions of children, religion.

Apparently I have to make this post in order to be very VERY very clear:

-I am provocative and have done sex work, may do it again, and I'm a huge slut. I also support sex workers and if you don't wtf are you doing following me? GTFO. BUT PLEASE STOP HITTING ME UP TO BE A DAMN SUGAR BABY. I KNOW IT'S A SCAM. GAWD.

-I'm approachable. I treat people with kindness because they deserve it unless proven otherwise. Does that make me naive? Maybe but I don't think so. I've always attracted people who need kindness and help.

-I'm POC

-I'm polyamorous and have multiple relationships. I'm not on the market for another nor looking to have fun at the moment. My partners are supportive and we communicate all the time. Sometimes too much lol.

-I'm religious

-I'm feminist

-I'm inclusive and very open minded. I'm stubborn but will admit when I'm wrong. I just can't lie. Or anything. I used to but not anymore, and those situations where I did I was protecting myself.

-I love kids but don't want them personally. If one comes into my life that changes my mind, that's different. But otherwise I'm not having kids.

-FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M NOT A FUCKING WOMAN. I'M NON-BINARY. STAHP. I AM SICK OF YOU CREEPY MOFOS BEING BIGOTED AND TRYING TO DISCREDIT MY OWN IDENTITY WHILE KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT ME.

Disclaimer: if I already said you can call me girl or haven't corrected you, continue to do so. Slang and identity can be different.

-I may struggle and be mentally ill, but I'm not fucking stupid or crazy. In fact I am very intuitive and intellectual. @gabbigabriella told me so 💜💚❤🖤💙💋 I'm stable-ish and take meds and encourage everyone to seek help if needed. Also always to get a second opinion if the first one don't feel right. I'm serious. It's exhausting but being stable and healthy is worth it 💚

Don't treat me like I'm not. It's disappointing and downright rude and disgusting. If you do and I correct you but you continue to do so, you are messing with someone you have no actual authority over and you will be sorry. I mean/do no harm but take no shit. Also if I trust you, I trust you to tell me when I'm unstable. It'll hurt but the truth hurts.

-I love and care. I love and care so much it hurts sometimes. Do me no harm and you will receive it.

-I'm blunt and brash. If you feel disrespected we'll talk and work it out. BUT IF I don't feel any different about you after we talked, sorry not sorry. I have to take care of myself. If you need me out of your life that's fine. I don't need anyone who doesn't treat me well.

NOW THAT THAT'S CLEAR, DO NOT COME FOR ME OR MY PEOPLE OR MY BABES WITHOUT LEGIT GOOD EVIDENTIAL REASON. THIS IS NOT A THREAT BUT A WARNING. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

Rant over!

Peace be with you! Love you!

#personal rant #y'all gotta stop with this nonsense #it ain't right #i feel sorry for you #tw: curse words #tw: reclaiming abusive names

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

Note

in your alternate next gen headcanons/fics, you've got Penn and the other P's (Piper's daughters), Dency (Phoebe's daughter), and Sheridan and Warren (Prue's son's). have you ever written anything about Paige's kids in any of the alternate universes?

okay so if i'm cataloguing every next gen warren witch that lives in my brain by charmed one, there's:

prue: warren & sheridan, patricia, penelope, & phillipa

piper: wyatt, chris & melinda, penn & (penn's siblings??), (jack the piper/kyle kid???)

phoebe: pj, parker & peyton, dency, (cj??)

paige: tamora, kat & henry jr, (bennie??)

in which um bennie has actually made a couple guest appearances on this blog and is the paige/richard kid and is like. a fat vibe def mentally ill but like. au where richard still binds or strips his powers whatever also he really seems like a tai chi guy and paige and richard are endgame i guess lmaoo so bennie their kid is raise not my you know bonkers batshit insane powers because i stand by my theory that richard was dose with blood of a greater being as a child and that's why magic makes his react the way he does so that does pass on just a little bit to his child. i also once very briefly constructed an au w a paige kyle kid but in a kyle still died world so paige still ends up w henry and has a daughter kyle at some point as a whitelighter finds out he has a daughter bc the elders were really keepin that Top Secret but kyle's quasi-adjacent in his kid's life but idk like. what those kids would be up to. isabel and beatrice maybe? i think they were bel and bea? lemme see if i can find the pöst. nope. well ur just gonna hafta trust me on that ig. yeah i can't say i've thot much about them. i think if i were really to spin a paige progeny solo story i mean well a) henry jr spin off bc like. i think that could be fun. but i think i would want to create a circumstance really separate from the next gen something that warrants a whole ass like Own Story (e.g. warren and sheridan being raises by jack, dency being the source's heir + having the twice blessed, which changes like magical society as a whole) because if it's still like you know there's wcm at the top of the lil next gen pyramid i feel like the worlds all stay too similar and it gets my brain fuzzy. i could do a paige-never-finds-the-power-of-three-au, where she still has her witch powers and figures shit out on her own, but i really don't know what the 411 with her kids would be. i could also have the other parent be some other type of magical being, cupid, warlock, darklighter, etc, bc that fusion would be interesting. i think out of all of paige's love interests, by far my favorite option for a father just from like an interesting character perspective is richard, because like. he has a whole magical bloodline and also a family that is implied practices black magic on occasion. that kid would pack a punch. there's kyle (mortal) and kyle (whitelighter), but like. i feel like if i were to do that again i'd have to spin up some au otherwise it's just the same gen 2 universe but instead of tam and kat it's paigekyle kids. you know what actually You Know What Actually Could Be Fun in a paige-never-finds-the-power-of-three-au-but-is-still-a-witch um fuckin hello?? paige glen. paige glen world travelers witch free spirit those kids would be. those kids would be so weird man just life experience globetrotters especially seeing as they have some magical legacy (the charmed destiny) that the belland family has just someone manage to outrun by like. quite literally like outrunning it. never being in the same place long enough for anything to really happen. i'm feeling two kids here. hmm but with two kids idk if they'd stick together a whole bunch i think they'd be a lot more free not like attached at the hip so either i run two separate plots or i only focus on one. but that could be. interesting to say the least.. esp if something happened where um. where like the charmed ones were wiped out. idk how. maybe prue did bite it in all hell breaks loose. maybe Phoebe dies. in ahbl. they're down to the power of two with piper and prue. piper taps out leo clips his wings and piper binds her powers and they leave the manor. piper then realizes she's pregnant witchlighter baby??? or she just has a normal witch baby. maybe a couple. actually just two i think i need to cap it at two bc no power of three access in this au. omg leo dies in s8 like how he was fated to die..................... prue holds down the homefront at the manor. finds love eventually has kids eventually i could go really out in left field and say fuck it prue x angel of death kids. but that requires

attention on its own part. but i could. i might. hmmm. because piper post leo death hell maybe leo just gets killed by a darklighter in spite of being mortal just because a darklighter recognizes him. piper like. changes her identity and raises her kid separate from the manor and magic. kids. maybe. prue is like. ballz to the wall fuckin intense. i could just make up a guy i could do whitelighter andy i could do. justin?? was his name? there's bane and jack but bane's in jail and jack would die in about five minutes so. i think i'd make up a guy. but i think prue has kids again maybe just two. i mean i could all give them one. but. . do i really want only children here lbr also prue and piper were both raised w siblings i could reasonably seeing prue having only one kid if it was like.. too dangerous to have another kid or something but i think she really wanted to be Mom. so anyways prue's witch kids are trained rigorously from warren lore, piper's kids are raised mortal, and paige's kids are raised with training from paige, who's self taught. anyway.s prue gets murdered and the manor is taken over by dark magic. when prue's kids are. mmm early twenties great age to take on an adventure that you're not like. remotely equipped to handle yet. they know they need to take back the seat of power lest something terrible happens. like it has to be a halliwell right the halliwells have to take back their house. so the halliwells get the bennets (piper's kids) (surprise! you're a witch!) and then somehow Also discover the bellands (surprise! you have a long extensive family tree that fights evil magic!) and then idk we really get the ball rolling we get some plot goin. wallah.

#wyatt #chris #i always feel so funny posting these it's literally like welcome to a lil tour of my brain #here's what's inside. !#charmed #next gen #charmed next generation #there are. i don't have character names for any of these kids. so they can't be tagged.#if i do only one prue kid one piper kid and one paige kid i could do po3 cousin edition #wait omg......................................................... when leo died he had with him or whatever #which is was really broke piper #so she's down to only one kid #prue only has one kid and that was a whoopsies baby bc she's way too busy saving the world to be preggers #but also she's really like Always Wanted To Be A Mom #so maybe this is fate #maybe piper jr is the eldest (and it was who died) and they're like 30 #pushing 30 #prue jr is next in age and mid twenties #and paige jr is youngest early to mid twenties. maybe. idk!>>!#paige x glen

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moonflower-31 · 4 years

Text

You Found Me - Gabriel x Reader

Warnings: Language? Somewhat? Oh and some self doubt, but not a lot. There is a looot of angst though. This is part of a two part oneshot. Hope you enjoy the feels.

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Character(s): Gabriel, Dean, Sam, Castiel

You were worried, to put it simply. Gabriel had told you three weeks ago he'd start to change. That he would take you out more. See you more in general. Not go off to Chuck knows where, doing who knows what.

You were worried. Yeah. That's the word. You were also pissed. Pissed he hadn't answered your prayers at all in those three weeks. Dean and Sam and Cas had all been through all the ways to try and bring him back, figure out what was going on, except to summon him. You had insisted that be the first thing they do, but Cas had intervened. He had said that if Gabriel was gone somewhere, that it was probably good reason. And that he would answer them in other ways.

But look where that got you?

"Look, kid, I know you miss your archangel douche of a boyfriend but-" Dean starts, looking up from the table he sat at in the main library. You rolled your eyes and looked up from your lore book on angels.

"But what? Dean? He might actually be in real danger! And you're sitting there--eating take out!" You exclaim, gesturing to his heart-attack-inducing food in front of him. Dean immediately gave you an offended glare and wrapped an arm around his food. You rolled your eyes again, and then put your eyes back to the book you were reading. No one would tell you the summoning for an archangel. And since the only archangel that would be able to be summoned would be Gabriel, you figured your chances of getting his ass back here were pretty good.

"Come on, let him live a little! I mean, I don't like the guy but every now and then, a guy has to have his alone time. Find himself. I did it. Sam's done it more than once." Dean reminds. You shake your head. Dean continues. "What I'm saying is maybe you should stop trying to summon him and let him come when he's ready. I'm sure he's fine, alright? He would have let you of all people know he was in danger if he was." Dean reminds again.

You grumble and slam the book in your hands closed. "You know what? I'm done. Done with you, and Sam, and Cas's petty excuses! It's like you don't even care!" You exclaim, and stomp out of the library.

You stomp off and slam the door to your room closed, locking it behind you as you collapse onto your bed, wishing and praying for Gabriel to return.

He hadn't returned in three weeks. Not even when you were in danger on hunts and you prayed to him. It made you question if he even loved you anymore. The thought of it made you sick. But it was possible.

You felt your chest heave and tears began to pour from your eyes as you sat back up and pulled the book from where you had dropped it beside the bed. You began wiping away your tears only for new ones to take their place. You opened the book and kept scouring the pages as a knock came to your door. You immediately hid the book under your sheets and then stood up, and went to the door.

"Who is it?" You ask.

"Castiel. Dean said you were upset."

"Go away Cas. I'm fine. Just distraught over your damn older brother, nothing new." You grumbled, walking away from the door and sitting back on your bed.

A flutter of wings sounds and you look up, finding the trenchcoated angel standing at the foot of your bed. "Y/N... Gabriel will be okay. I promise." He says, looking at you with as sincere enough eyes as an angel can probably muster.

You let out a sad chuckle. "Really Cas? Same speech as last time? I just want him back... I don't want to lose him..." you say, hugging your arms for a moment as you fight the incoming tears. Castiel walks over and wraps his arms around you in a comforting hug, letting you wrap your own arms around him as he holds you. You're appreciative of the gesture as he lets you cry, and lays you down on the bed when you fall asleep. Your first real sleep in days.

~~~~

When you reawaken, it's later in the day, around midnight. You sigh and check your bed, seeing the book still there. You bring it out and start flipping through it, until you find it. And after a few quick translations, find out what you needed for summoning your absent boyfriend.

You write a quick note of the ingredients you needed, and then got up. You had some of the ingredients. But lacked two. You needed some herbs and some leaves that were hard to come by. So you needed to talk to someone.

"Yeah, those'll do. Thanks. I'll be down to pick them up in a few hours. Thanks." You say, hanging up on the friend who owed you a few favors. He had some of the ingredients that you needed. And all you needed now was to put it all together. And say the chant, of course.

You were walking out of your room, when Sam stopped you. You raise an eyebrow as the tall, moose-like man stood in your way.

"Uh...Sam? What are you doing?" You ask, a bag of essentials on your back.

Sam gives you a bitch face. "Really? You really don't think I didn't see you sneak that book into your room? I've read it. And it has what we've been telling you we shouldn't be doing. Wait it out. Alright? I promise, it's all gonna be okay-" Sam starts.

At this point, you were done of hearing that. After so many instances of Dean, Sam, Cas, hell, even Charlie saying it, you were done. Absolutely done. So you snapped.

You immediately shoved Sam out of the way as soon as his guard was down, pinning his sleeve to the wall with one of your knifes. Sam calls out to Dean to alert him of your escape, but you're too quick. You race up the stairs behind you and then you exit the bunker, racing down the road as adrenaline fills your veins.

You didn't dare take the Impala, knowing Dean would kill you if you did. He rarely let Sam off the hook when he took it. So what's to say he wouldn't kill you?

You finally slowed down near a gas n' sip, and found an abandoned car. You went into the store for a moment, and picked out a few of Gabriel's favorite sweets. You took them to the counter and payed for them before going back outside, and hotwiring the abandoned car.

The adrenaline had finally left you after you'd been on the road for awhile. You'd left your phone at the Gas n' Sip, so you weren't able to be tracked. Damn Sam and Charlie's hacking abilities.

You finally pulled up to your buddy's place around 4 am, and parked in their driveway.

"Damn, Y/N, you look great for three years gone." Your old pal Brad said as he opened the door. He opened the door for you to come in soon after, drinking a beer.

You smile but shake your head. "I'm sorry, but this is an urgent hunt. I need those ingredients now." You say. Brad chuckled.

"Really? You ain't gonna sit down and tell me how you've been with those... those uh.." Brad starts.

"Winchesters." You remind, nodding a bit. "Yeah uh... not now. I don't exactly have the time. But uh... I promise, ill come by soon. Okay?" You promise. Brad chuckled.

"I'm just messing with ya. I know you're busy. Just lemme know if I can help at all. Okay? Any time of night or day. I've got open ears." Brad says, smirking at you with a broken smile. You smiled and nodded.

Brad soon disappeared behind the door, and after five minutes returned with the herbs you needed.

"Take care now. Call me if you ever need anything else." He says as he sees you off. You nod, and wave back at him as you climb back into your stolen car and pull back onto the dark road.

It wasn't until 5 am that you found the place. It was old, it was rusty. It was perfect. You found an old table and set everything up. You used your lighter and lit up the ingredients, soon after uttering the chant.

"Rah ah gah ee oh es Vee nu nohno kee ah seh peh teh poh ah ma lah deh zod" you utter, and a bright light enters the room. You shield your eyes and wait a few moments before you hear him.

"Really? You're resulting to summoning me?" Gabriel grumbles, looking at you annoyedly. "Im busy, Sugar." He says.

You weren't listening. You were merely relieved that he was okay. You walk around the table, and then wrap your arms around him, almost too tightly.

Then he pushes you away.

"Sugar, please. I'm busy. Can't this wait?" Gabriel asks. You look up at him dejected.

"Busy? You're just 'busy'?" You ask, venom and hurt in your voice. Gabriel looks a bit hurt by your words, but doesn't react otherwise.

"You promise me that you'll spend more time with me, cuddle more, hang out more, watch more movies, but no. No you're 'busy'" you hiss, looking at Gabriel with tears in your eyes.

"Yeah, I am. I’m not gonna keep having this conversation right now. Like I said, I'm busy. I have somethings I need to do." He says, looking at you.

You furrow your eyebrows. You stomp forward and you grab his collar. "You know what would have been appreciated? Gabriel? If you would let me know you were okay! I've been worried about you this entire time! 'What if he's been kidnapped and he's being tortured? What if it's my fault?' Wow, but you're too busy!" You spat, shoving him back and turning away from him.

Gabriel sighed. "Y/N, please, okay? I couldn't get back to you. And besides, this isn't something you should be worried about. I don't understand why you were so worried-" he says. You nod your head as you turned back around. You were done.

"Why am I so worried? Gabriel I have lost so many people, so many. So yeah, im sorry that I just don't want to lose another. Especially not you. But no, you can't understand that, can you?" You growl back. Gabriel rolled his eyes and went to speak again.

"Don't twist my own words against me-" he starts. You shook your head and pointed in his face.

"No, no you need to listen. You, don't understand how hurt you've made me. How badly, I kept thinking about myself. Thinking that you just didn't love me anymore. So you know what? I'm done. I don't care of you still do, or still don't. I'm done." You snap, shoving him back as you toss the altar over.

Gabriel goes to speak again, panick filling his eyes. But you shake your head.

"No, Gabriel. You've done enough damage." You hiss. "Come find me when you understand how I felt." You say before you cut your hand and start drawing a sigil on the wall.

"Sugar, please, we can talk this out-" he starts, walking towards you just as you finish the sigil and hit against it with your hand, sending him back wherever you'd summoned him.

You felt tears re-emerge from your eyes as you walk out of the building and climb into your car. You turn it back on and start driving down the road, sniffling a bit as you decided that enough was enough. You stopped by another Gas n' Sip and walked up to the pay phone.

You dialed a number in after using the last of the money you'd brought. After a few rings, the line picked up.

"Hey Brad... mind if I cash in that favor?"

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #gabriel x reader supernatural #spnfandom #spnfamily #spn fanfiction #gabriel x reader #gabriel #dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel

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thewrongexecution · 4 years

Text

thinkin’ ‘bout final fantasy

I go by Not The Author for exactly the reason that I ain’t no expert on any given work of fiction, but I do like to make connections what make me seem smart: an illusion, haphazardly crafted by incident accident and supplemented by precocious pretentiousness. All the same, here are some fun thoughts I had that you might also enjoy!

I do have a point, that I do get to. I feel like I should say that ahead of time, all things considered. Like, I can appreciate if you can’t appreciate a shaggy dog story? But there is a point to all this.

...Eventually.

Spoiler Warning:

Final Fantasies 1, 6, 7, 7R, 13 and 15

Content Warning:

Discussion of death

Cussin’

Length warning:

5621 words

13 sections

16 digressions

Let’s dig in.

- - - - -

Final Fantasy 1 was not my first Final Fantasy experience, but I think it was the first I ever played by myself? The remaster for the GBA, came bundled with FF2 on the same cart, which I played briefly but did not complete and do not remember, except that it had Cid.

FF1 doesn’t have a Cid, but I really loved the narrative anyway, straightforward as it was, because it was very specifically about spitting in the face of an uncaring god who would doom the world for a laugh. Take these chains that bind us to darkness and, though we be forgot to history, strangle with them that selfsame darkness to bring an end to its tyranny.

((it is a terrible curse, to love time travel. so many grand expectations, so few ever met. play ghost trick, chrono trigger, radiant historia, majora’s mask, outer wilds. have you any recs yourself, lemme know! I digress.

((I digress a lot, as I may have mentioned. they’ll be noted in parenthetical, like this.))

This is the foundation upon which Final Fantasy is built, and while any student of architecture could tell you of many and varied perfectly valid construction techniques, it resonates. Grappling with an immutable past to course-correct an uncaring future is, too, an apt description of personal growth; a theme as universal as being alive. And I, as an impressionable youth, ate that shit up.

((I assume I was young, at any rate. my love for time travel, be it era-spanning or moment-stretching, is, I suspect, not entirely coincidental to my terrible temporal memory.))

And that was the tale of the studio, too. Final Fantasy was so titled because, the story goes, the developers knew they would shutter if it didn’t make bank. Staring your imminent demise in the face, knowing your fate is doom, and giving it your all, all the same.

And then they made another twelve, plus two-and-a-half MMOs, and god knows how many mobile games and spin-offs, and now the Fantasy is that there could ever be a Final one. so say I: life parodies art.

((the half-an-MMO is FF14 1.0, which no longer exists and is a fascinating tale, a rally against bleak futures all its own. I’ll [link] Noclip’s three-part documentary covering the developer’s side of things, because that’s the one I’ve seen. there’s plenty other material to hunt down, though, if you wanna.))

- - - - -

Final Fantasy VII is a game about fate, too. Particularly Death, that most ultimate of fates. Tragic, to be sure; preventable, or at least delayable, in many cases; necessary, at times, for the growth of something new.

Unrelenting. Unstoppable. Inescapable.

Death, and the fights against it, take many forms. There are the fascist death squads that hunt down your ragtag band and any dissent against their cruel masters, but these will only truly stop by cutting off the hydra’s head and building an entirely new society; eight dudes and their dog, faced with a corporate private military, can survive but never win. There are such disasters as do slay that hydra, be they natural or man-made. There’s the space alien and the apocalypse it ushers. There’s literal illness and injury, physical or otherwise. There are the deaths of loved ones, friends and family, that lead to some subtler deaths within those that survive them. The deaths of relationships, by neglect or abandonment. The ideological deaths we inflict on ourselves, accepting ever-growing lesser evils in the name of some impossible ideal.

Every day, the person we were becomes the person we are, and soon, the person we are will give way to someone new, and this, too, is a sort of death. In this sense, we tally Cloud’s deaths at least five: failure to become a Soldier and rebirth in shame, the massacre of Nibelheim and rebirth in grief, arrival at Midgar and rebirth in delusion, his cratering at the Crater and rebirth in nihilism, and his death and rebirth in the Lifestream of Mideel.

((you could prolly hunt down another two if you wanna be cheeky, but I lack the knowledge, motive and patience. frankly, this whole thing is to create a leading line of logic and probably isn’t, uh. academically ethical? or whatever the term is. I’m not necessarily wrong, but I’m definitely scuttling nuance. oh well!))

Now, I say “rebirth,” because that’s how deaths of identity more-or-less work. There’s usually some new identity waiting in the wings to take over. And rebirth is itself a notable theme, inasmuch as it is one outcome of death. But death is oft more final than that, and what people do in its imminence and wake is key here, too. Wutai’s collapse into an insular tourist trap. Avalanche’s vengeful fervor, in general and post-plate drop. Bugenhagen trying to pass his knowledge on to Red. The whole party’s ongoing post-traumatic depressive episodes.

Ultimately, death is the inescapable fate of all things. It’s what we do, in light of that, that makes us who we are.

- - - - -

Final Fantasies 13 and 15 are the only modern Final Fantasies I’ve beaten, and I bring them up because both deal very prominently with fate and death, and as Square’s most recent mainline FF titles, Remake can’t exist without comparison to them. Here’s what I remember:

Final Fantasy 13 was a game I enjoyed. The stagger system mixed up my casual FF tradition of Get The Big Numbers by putting a prominent UI element onscreen that says You Can’t Get The Big Numbers Unless The Bar Is Full. Suddenly there’s a natural-but-enforced ebb and flow to combat built in, where you gotta juggle chip damage, survival, and crowd control while keeping resources enough to burst down a staggered foe, but maintain situational awareness to swap back into survival mode if you’re not gonna down your enemy, all in something close to real-time. Very obviously a direct precursor to the combat of Remake. I didn’t realize the depth of it, but it was still super fun.

People at the time didn’t like the linearity of the game and, I can see that in retrospect? I think it’s closer to, there weren’t breakpoints, there wasn’t variety. It was cutscenes, combat, and the stretches of land between them; the only real thing for the brain to get a workout on was the combat, and eating only one kinda food is gonna make that food taste bland.

((I didn’t mind, but I like idle games, and, also probably had depression around then. Take that how you will.))

The story, though, I loved. You got your uncaring gods forcing mortals to do their increasingly-impossible bidding, cursing them to agonized unlife if they take too long, and with blissful, beautiful death if they succeed. It sucks! And here you have a ragtag band of incidental idiots trying to rebel against a system that, actually, wants them to? Like that’s the plan? Have mortals kill god and summon the devil to destroy all life, because god, doesn’t.... like life anymore?

((The lore gets more than a little impenetrable, and I remember bouncing off it a couple times. The throughline of God Sucks And Makes Zombies was good though.))

The biblical parallels are obvious, and if they weren’t, the final boss’ design will clue you in, god that’s a good design. hang on I can add pictures and already tossed a spoiler warning, here, look at this:

(per the Final Fantasy Fandom Wiki [X])

That’s literally The Holy Trinity But A Sword The Size Of A Building. It’s perfect.

Anyway, I love this game, because the heroes win, which is what God wants, so in winning, they lose, as was fated to be, right? Fuck All That, say the lesbians from space australia, as they turn into satan and, as satan, stop God’s shitty metal moon from crashing into space australia and destroying all life.

((this awakened something in me, though, as is becoming a theme, I wasn’t aware of it at the time. actually hold up I’m gonna rewatch that sequence.

((yeah okay wow on review that was aggressively cheesy and had a whole bunch of weird emotional whiplash that just leaves a super-bad aftertaste. I don’t really like it as an experience, but big bazonga lesbian satan with arms for hair is still a look-and-a-half.))

The whole thing is not entirely unlike if meteor was also Midgar, and there’s more than a few points where I went, hang on, are they trying to evoke 7 here? “Lightning” is ex-military and bad at emotions, Sazh is a black dad w/ guns and emotional trauma and I love him, quirky pink healer girl who might be an alien is here, the game starts on a train and leads into a robot bug fight; obviously it’s not one-to-one but the connections are there for a brain like mine to make, and only more prominent for the fact that FF7 was the more satisfying game.

((I cannot speak to 13-2 or -3; 13-2 was fun up until the enemies were abruptly 30 levels higher than me, more or less a mandate by the game for me to do all the side content, which I was not on-board with. I skipped 13-3 entirely, especially when I learned the whole game is on a timer. did not and do not need that stress in my life.))

- - - - -

But okay, FF13 was “too linear” and wasn’t doing super great. Enter Final Fantasy Versus 13, by which I mean enter Final Fantasy 15 actually, we don’t need any more of this 13 crap. And once again, I enjoyed it! ...Right up until it was bad.

Final Fantasy 15 was not a finished game, and we know this for certain now, because all its DLC was to make it a finished game. At the time, though, there was uncomfortable and inconsistent story pacing, only one playable character, relatively sparse combat mechanics... but it was open-world, and hey, that’s what you wanted, right? open, non-linear environments? I picked it up because, Teleporting Swordsman With a Motorcycle Sword. I am of simple pleasures, and those are they.

Of the little I remember, one point that’s stuck with me is the sequence following the Leviathan fight. See, we’ve been talking about fate and destiny and how Final Fantasy likes to spite them. Here in 15, our main man Noctis doesn’t want the destiny he’s been burdened with, to Become The King and Save The World from the Coming Darkness, or whatever. He’d really rather be doing, anything else? like hanging out with his buddies or actually getting married or, I dunno, grieving the death of his father. Nope! You don’t get to do that. Go find the ghost armaments of your dead ancestors so you can ~saaave the wooorld!~ I would have been in college around then, so, eminently relatable.

Now, on this journey, you meet a guy called Ardyn. He’s the sort of character that was built as an attack on me personally: sleazy, charming, possessing airs of casual familiarity with people he’s never met, kinda helps you out in tight spots, and also, by the way, vizier to the empire that killed your dad and wants you and your friends dead too. But not in the “secret good guy” way, he just likes fucking with you! he’s perfect.

Right up until the Leviathan fight.

See, Lunafreya, your betrothed--

((I’m so mad about this stupid, stupid garbage. I love Lunafreya on principle, but the game doesn’t bother to give her screentime. you only ever hear about her incidentally, which can be cool if you then meet the character and get to compare/contrast what you’ve heard, but the initial release only has her show up for this one chapter, and your party doesn’t really get to interact with her that much.))

Your betrothed is here and she’s some symbol of the peoples’ hope, right? she’s got light magic or something, and can actually commune with the gods. the gods are on your side, but you can’t actually understand a word they say, but she can, and that’s sick as hell. anyway.

You lose the fight against Leviathan, because you’re a shitty emo teen who doesn’t know how to use your ghost swords, and she got beat up earlier when Levi got all pissy at being summoned. And then Ardyn shows up in his magitek dropship.

Now earlier, Ardyn had Luna as his captive, completely at his mercy, and right now, he who would be king of kings, destined to save the world from darkness, is clutching at rock in a hurricane, beaten, wounded and dying.

Of the two, which do you think he stabs to death?

if you thought, “the protagonist, which will allow him to win, and subvert Final Fantasy’s themes of defying fate by having the villain be the one to do it, forcing everyone else to scramble for some alternate solution and deal with the fallout,” congratulations! You win disappointment, because that idea’s cool as hell and they didn’t. fucking. Do it.

((Ardyn, before this, had given me major Kefka vibes, and thinking on it now, the world descending into darkness in the 15 we never had could have played with even deeper parallels to FF6... but I never played 6, and that FF15 doesn’t exist, so... I’ll leave that analysis to better scholars.))

now, with the benefit of hindsight, that was never going to happen. too long in development hell, game had to ship, had no time or budget for mid-game upheaval. but at the time? made me lose any interest I had in Ardyn, made me mad at the developers for passing up on fulfilling the themes their series had explored in past, made me almost stop playing the game. I’m still mad about it for crying out loud!

((thinking about it gets me tensed up, coiled, with that sort of full-body thrum that’s best conveyed with letters that jitter around. best I can do here is bold italics, but it doesn’t have the right energy. it’s a fleeting feeling, but when it’s here? god. given the men that wrote this scene I would fight all of them and win.

((inhale...

((exhale...

((and move on.))

We, the player, never really meet Luna, so there’s no real... impact, no substance to it. It’s sad, but impersonal. villain kills damsel to inflict manpain on hero. that’s it. we’ve seen this song and dance before.

But kill Noctis? The character the player’s been controlling all this time, who they know intimately? Now it’s personal. Now your party members’ grief is a mirror to your own. And now you get to play as Luna, maybe? give the game time to flesh her out, have her bond with your old companions over their shared grief, and maybe use her connections and public speaking skills to rally the people of the world, in a perhaps-vain attempt to resist the oncoming darkness, while simultaneously using that public-facingness to drive her to hide her own fear and hopelessness...? That’s a complex character ripe for drama and tragedy right there! And then her, at the head of a story about people coming together to solve a global calamity themselves, rather than await their appointed savior?

Even then, but especially now... You can see the appeal, right?

- - - - -

Lemme step back and zoom out for a moment, because there’s one more kind of Fate to discuss before I finalize my thesis. Yes, I promise, there is a point besides being mad at FF15, this is still ultimately about Remake. Bear with me a little longer.

See, Remake’s premise is that it’s not quite FF7, but that itself is predicated on Remake being essentially FF7. Certain things must be in the Remake series, or it will cease to be the Final Fantasy 7 Remake series. The developers have gone on record saying as much, that they’ll still cover the thrust of the original, and that makes a lot of sense from a development standpoint. Building on an existing framework saves loads of time, and lets them focus on details as they have in Remake.

((I think they've already set up an in-universe justification for this, too. The party may have defeated the Whispers at Midgar, but the Whispers are the will of the planet. The only way to truly defeat them would be to defeat the planet itself, which: kind of the goal of the villains!

((a bit ironic, because the villains are the Whispers’ means to keep manipulating events. Remake backends a very large portion of the plot, and I don’t think Rufus seeing the Whispers is a throwaway detail. The party chases Sephiroth by chasing Shinra in the original, so even if the party has shaken free of the direct influence of the Whispers, manipulating Shinra should in turn manipulate the party.

((on top of which, Rufus prizes power, and the power to change or control fate-- something both the party and Sephiroth have seized-- would be as enticing as anything.))

But this begs the question: How much of Final Fantasy 7 is necessary before it stops being Final Fantasy 7? Do you need all nine characters? The Weapons? Rideable chocobo? Breedable chocobo? What about locations? Can you drop the Gold Saucer? or Mount Condor? or Mideel? How many minigames am I holding up? These are necessary questions, but so is this:

“Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?”

- - - - -

Now, the phrase “emotional impact” is necessarily kind of nebulous and subjective, so lemme dig into that a little bit.

The first significant chunk of the original FF7 takes place entirely in Midgar, which is one huge city. Every screen is densely packed; movement is typically constrained to narrow corridors and industrial crawlspaces. The whole world is deeply claustrophobic and visually hostile, by design.

This is FF7 for the first few hours, before a motorcycle chase deposits you outside city limits, and then... you hit the world map, and everything changes. The world is rendered in three whole dimensions, now! (Then, a technological marvel in its own right.) There’s a sky! There’s a horizon! Grass, mountains, the ocean!

Boundless, terrifying freedom.

From a mechanical standpoint, there’s only one real destination, an A-to-B with random encounters before a small enclosure with an inn and shops, no real change from what you’ve already been doing. But the mood? Everything’s fresh and new, now. Everything’s an unknown.

So, how do we do that again, two-and-a-half decades on?

Let’s say, something like this: Remake 2 starts with Cloud and Sephiroth en route to Nibelheim. For new players, this provides immediate intrigue: why are these mortal enemies hanging out in a truck? how did they get here, where are they going? For veterans, it’s familiar: oh, we’re in the flashback sequence.

For both, it provides mechanical familiarity. We just finished last game hanging out in Midgar, a bunch of town squares with shops and cutscenes connected to hazardous corridors. Well, Nibelheim’s a town with shops and cutscenes, connected to a monster-filled anthill and capped with a reactor. We know this. We’ve done this. We can do this again.

And when the flashback ends, we’re in Kalm. Another town, maybe with sidequests this time; Midgar looming in the distant skybox as a reminder of how far we’ve come.

And then you leave Kalm, and the camera zooms out, and out, and out...

Remake is essentially 7, and you can’t have the impact of 7′s world map reveal if Remake isn’t functionally open-world too. Square has plenty of experience with open environments, however successful their more recent attempts have been; I’m confident that the have the ability, at least, to craft an expansive world that feels appropriate to FF7.

((I’d like to take a moment here to talk about FF14, which mixes both compact twisty dungeons and wide-open overworld zones, and is necessarily wildly successful to still be operating as an MMO... but though I have played it briefly, I don’t claim knowledge sufficient to go in-depth. The point is, Square not only can make a game like that, they have, and are, and apparently possess non-zero competency. I have worries, but I’m not worried, if that makes sense.))

So, can you recreate a given kind of emotional impact? Yeah!

Can scenes from the original Final Fantasy 7 be rendered into a new context, more-or-less as they were? Absolutely!

Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?

- - - - -

Aerith dies.

If you opened this post and didn’t know that, well. There were spoiler warnings up at the top, the game’s more than two decades old, and the spoiler itself is basically a piece of pop-culture, up there with space dad and wizard killer. There’re probably plenty of people who know next-to-nothing about Final Fantasy 7 except that Aerith dies.

Everyone knows because, at the time, it was so big a thing. This was a title that Square hyped to heaven and back to push JRPGs into mainstream western markets, and it worked. And this was before major death was so common and arbitrary as it is today; even now, Game of Thrones and its ilk are a relative rarity. The death of a protagonist or love interest wasn’t a new thing for games, or any media really, but usually you knew it was coming, or it served some purpose. Aerith’s death was sudden, arbitrary, you’re almost immediately thrown into a boss fight so you don’t even have time to process it right away, and it’s the first stone in an avalanche of other pointless arbitrary tragedy. It’s an obvious narrative setup for the endgame confrontation with Sephiroth; instead, Cloud has a breakdown, Meteor happens, and now there’s an entire Disk 2.

Fandom has always been fandom, even before the continuous immediacy of the modern internet, but... people wrote letters to Square, and got sad on message boards. There’s an entire subset of forum signatures, back when those were a thing, that you could sort as “people fucked up over Aerith dying.” And again, this was the world. Not just Japan, or Asia, but everyone.

((Or, everyone with the finances to have a PS2 and/or an internet connection. Gaming as a pastime remains way expensive, whether played or watched. But you know how it is.))

And that’s the problem with answering that question.

See, FF7 is a lot of things, but for better or worse, it is defined by Aerith’s death. It’s one of many factors, but you can’t... leave it out, right? or it wouldn’t be FF7 anymore.

Aerith dies in FF7, and everyone knows it.

- - - - -

But Remake has promised, repeatedly, that things will be different this time. Everyone is coming together to defy fate, and Cloud in particular is here to keep Aerith from dying. Bodyguard jokes aside, Cloud repeatedly has flashbacks (flashforwards?) to Aerith’s death and the events leading to it. When he meets her in the church, when they cross into Sector 6, twice in the final battle. Hell, the very first time they meet, Sephiroth taunts him about not being able to save her. Even from a metatextual standpoint, since everyone knows Aerith dies, that’s like, The Most Obvious Fate To Change.

If, after all that, Aerith still dies? It’s not just tragedy, at that point. That’s the developers, actively lying to the player about their intent in making this game series. That’s frustrating, and immersion-breaking, and when said death is likely to still have one or more entire sequels to come after? maybe not great for sales! I know I didn’t bother buying the complete edition of FF15; I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about a game that set up this cool possibility, and then just, failed to deliver on every count.

And, Remake is being made for two audiences. I’ve said “everybody knows Aerith dies,” but that’s not really true, is it? It’s been 23 years, after all. Remake could well be someone’s very first Final Fantasy experience. That’s why they’ve been telegraphing Aerith’s death so hard. Not everyone knows, but at least everyone can guess. Is it fair, then, to this new audience, with potentially no knowledge or understanding of the legacy of this flashy new action game, to foreshadow tragedy in the future, have everyone come together to say, We’re Going To Stop This, and then... not? Is that good writing? Is that satisfying? When this is a multi-game and potentially multi-console investment of time and money, is this, as a newcomer, a story you’d want to keep playing?

And then on top of that, it’s 2020.

I don’t mean that in the current-year-fallacy, “we’re better than this now” kind of way. Rather, the way I felt about Final Fantasy 15 is even more relevant now. People, in real life, are realizing that the powers-that-be are failing them, have failed them, have been failing them for far longer than twenty-three years. The people that already knew that are actually showing up for each other, to spite what felt and feels like inescapable fate and finding that, together, they might just be able to ruin God’s day.

Game development is, of course, its own whole beast, and projects in motion tend to stay in motion; deviating from a plan takes time and money that Square may be unwilling to spend. But, under current world circumstances: is making a game where the hero sets out to save one specific person from their fated death, and following that with a game where that one specific person dies anyway, aside from everything else, a good business decision?

- - - - -

So... Aerith, shouldn’t die, right...? But, FF7 requires Meteor, and so requires the Temple of the Ancients and the Black Materia. And, Meteor can only be stopped by Holy, so FF7 requires the Forgotten City.

FF7 is a tragedy. FF7 demands blood.

...Hey, actually, hold that thought. How come Cloud can remember Aerith dying in the first place? He’s not from the future, right? He’s got a connection to Sephiroth, who is from the future... and Sephiroth can manipulate his memories...? but, why would Sephiroth let him, or make him, remember that?

Hey, how come Zack is alive, but like, in the “narrative scope” sense? Wouldn’t his presence circumvent Cloud’s delusions about the Nibelheim incident?

Hey, how come Cloud had multiple big climactic Sephiroth confrontations at what’s essentially the end of the prologue, including one that mirrors the very end of the original FF7? Shouldn’t that still come at, like, you know. the end?

Hey, how come--

- - - - -

Remake has these... Callbacks? Refrains? Like my favorite, when Sephiroth throws a train-- you know, The Fate Metaphor-- at Cloud, who absolutely shreds the thing. Or, for a more direct example:

And it frequently uses these to show that people are changing, that things can change. You know, the whole Running Theme the game has going on.

Sephiroth gets a refrain, too.

At the start of the game (give or take a reactor), in his first real appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, makes sure Cloud hates him, and tells Cloud what he wants.

At the end of the game, in his last appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, tells Cloud what he wants, and makes sure Cloud hates him.

Structurally, these encounters more-or-less bookend the game; thematically, it doesn’t exactly indicate change. Barret may or may not have come around on Cloud, and his admission that Cloud is important to him after all is, itself, important. Cloud, on the other hand, was always going to defy Sephiroth. He stands resolute, now, ready to fight rather than flee, but apathy was never on the table.

Now, Sephiroth’s whole Thing is psychologically manipulating Cloud to get what he wants, and as part of that, what Sephiroth wants is usually not what he says he wants.

All throughout the original FF7, Sephiroth riled up Cloud so that Cloud would pursue and defy him, culminating first in the Black Materia incident, and then again in the Forgotten City. None of the Sephiroth clones could survive the trip through the Northern Crater, so Sephiroth had to lure Cloud, with the Black Materia, to him, and then also convince Cloud to give up the Black Materia of his own accord. Mind control, memory manipulation and illusions were involved, but if Sephiroth could maintain those indefinitely, he probably just. Would have done that instead. Way easier,

The point is, in Remake, in addition to all the intermittent retraumitization sprinkled throughout the game, Sephiroth goes out of his way twice to directly ask Cloud, “hey, you hate me, right?” And, as part of that question, he tells Cloud, “this is what I want.” And Cloud? He hates Sephiroth, and will do his damnedest to keep Sephiroth from getting what he wants.

So. What does Sephiroth... say he wants?

- - - - -

One last aside before we cap off: This post would not exist without the valiant efforts of one Maximilian_dood. His devotion to the series kept myself and many others engaged and excited and, frankly, hopeful, in the leadup to the release of Remake, and his correlations between the rest of the FF7 series and Remake were enlightening and entertaining.

and had he not the gall to identify defying fate as a device to make aerith’s death more tragic, I would never have been angry enough to write this.

((I know, I know. Gaming and streaming and lit analysis are all hard individually, and I don’t begrudge losing one for the other two. And it was a first playthrough! I might have seen these lines sooner than some, but collating all this info was certainly not instantaneous. And Square can be hack writers at times-- see again my rant on FF15-- so even then, I can’t discount the possibility.

((but, still.

((Really?))

So, while I would like to believe that I have, by now, made my thesis on Remake’s narrative direction abundantly clear, here it is spelled out anyway:

- - - - -

At the bottom of the Forgotten City, at the shrine on the pillar in the lake, Cloud will find Aerith, who believes her fate immutable.

Sephiroth will descend, and Cloud will sacrifice himself, that Aerith should live.

This is Sephiroth’s plan.

- - - - -

Hey, thanks for reading this far! With my conversational tone and rambling tendencies, I’d have preferred to make this an audio post or, god forbid, a video essay, but I got a keyboard, and that’ll have to do. Diction is important to me, as the capitalization, italics and use of punctuation may have clued you in on, so... maybe you’ll get a dramatic reading sometime in the future? but, don’t bet on it.

Feel free to riddle me with questions, or point out inconsistencies with this big ol’ thing! I’m not exactly an expert, and I’m sure I glossed over, heavily paraphrased, completely forgot, intentionally ignored and/or aggressively misrepresented some stuff, but I love learning and teaching esoteric bullshit about The Vijigams. On that note, anything that sounds like it should be sourced is sourced from “I heard about it on social media or in a stream or youtube video one time, but if I actually had to hunt it down this whole thing would never see the light of day, and it has already been like three months,” which isn’t to excuse my lack of due diligence, but I do, lack diligence, so, tough.

Oh! but the Remake screens all come from [here]. Don’t care much for that splash screen, but, I Get It, so, whatever.

There were some other things I wanted to touch on but couldn’t really find a spot for. FF7 Remake as a metaphor for its own development, for example. Or, some of The Possibilities, like how Cloud’s death could very literally haunt Aerith, or how Remake sets up a more fleshed-out Midgar revisit that Cloud’s death specifically would make infinitely sadder.

On that note, if it was not yet obvious, I love speculation, and if they do go this direction, it’ll probably be their justification to go completely... off the rails? Remake only has to be FF7 until it doesn’t, after all. If there’s some wilder implications youall see for like... I dunno, a Jenova more fully-regenerated from also having Cloud’s cells back, getting into proper Kaiju-on-Kaiju battles with the Weapons, or anything like that? Feed me your brain juice, etc.

And, once more, for the road: this is interpretation; subjective, opinionated, and very much in denial of any kind of author-ity. Nor is this a claim on how things should be, or an assertion that this would be good or bad. Everything ultimately rests on Square's narrative design team and, we’ve touched on them already.

((but, for your consideration: I’m smart, and right))

Here’s hoping, whatever happens, we get the game we deserve.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, have a great day

#In This Essay I Will but for real this time #but hell if that's stopped me before #ff7 remake #blatant speculation #ff7 remake spoilers #ff7 spoilers #ff13 spoilers #ff15 spoilers #I dip into spoiler territory on more but these ones get a deeper dive #also if any of y'all know how to get images screen-read-able please lemme know #the screenshots are to point out that the game itself does do these things #but I don't wanna content-lock anybody out of my bad garbage #also also if the wordcount didn't clue you in:#long post #posting this right now immediately listening

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nathalie-sancoeur-assistant · 5 years

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Emilie Agreste

(Note, I do NOT remember if I have made an in-depth post on this before and if I have my apologies but I want to put this out there)

Okay so I know I say that I hope Emilie is going to be a villain but this is my OFFICIAL post on it, and I'm going to call it right here, right now, in front of everyone, that Emilie Agreste is not only going to be a villain, but she's going to be a force to be reckoned with (I mean, you can't just have the main-bad of the series NOT be ruthless, cunning and hard to beat, right?)

She's going to be charming. How else would she get Gabriel Agreste to fall for her and practically worship the ground she walks on if he's going to not only tear Paris to shreds for her, but risk the life of, most likely, his only friend in the world and one true ally, Nathalie Sancoeur?

Lemme take some time to break this down okay. Now I've spent a lot of time on this, didn't even initially type it out on Tumblr, mkay? I took this baby to sticky notes on my laptop.

First we gotta look at Adriens past just to get a feel for the type of person she was.

Adrien spent his childhood alone, isolated from other people, homeschooled, sheltered beyond whats normal or, even what can be considered extreme and his social life....well, it wasn't even dead, because something that never existed can't die. His only friend was, of all people, the bratty, entitled, snobbish and selfish person we know of as Chloe Bougeoirs (not to anger any Chloe fans out there, she has her pros and cons and I know its a result of a bad childhood as well, but she still uses people, manipulates them and hurts others purposefully to get attention and I don't care how bad of a childhood you've had, that's not okay and she needs to mature because at this rate she's going to stay an ignorant child for as long as she lives). Now, any normal parent might want their kid to have someone their age who was a good influence- and Chloe probably would have benefitted from Adriens present if he wasn't such a...for lack of a better word, a pushover. The poor boy didn't know what friendship was until Nino came about, before that his expectations were probably very low and he had nothing to compare it to. He was isolated for 14 years. Socially, he's dumb as a pickle and it's not his fault. He fits the perfect stereotype that people who are homeschooled are socially inept. So really, his nature as a pushover is a direct result of his upbringing- he doesn't know how wrong it is sometimes.

Now tell me, what kind of decent parent- especially one that needs their child to be able to put on a good image- would be okay with this? They might think "Oh he has Chloe" but I can guarantee you as they got older they could see more and more how bratty Chloe was getting and what a terrible influence she could be on their son- so why did they not attempt to help him socialize? It's not impossible for homeschooled kids to socialize and have a bunch of friends. There are libraries, parks, churches, social gatherings, community events, etc. that you can bring your homeschooled child to for a healthy dose of social interaction with the possibility of making friends- and with how well off these guys are you know darn well they could have gotten him to one at least once a week. Why go to so much effort to keep your kid behind closed doors? It has serious psychological effects that I'm sure people who are smart enough to get so far would know about. Heck you don't even have to be smart to know it- human beings are social creatures, even if some of us are introverted as heck and never want to leave our house, we still need human interaction otherwise we will get sick in some way shape or form. Emilie had a huge say in Adrien's upbringing and could have easily gotten him out of the house- and the reason I say she had a huge role is because, as soon as she was gone, Gabriel started doing what Nathalie suggested. This man relies on the women in his life to help raise his kid, because he knows he's not good at parenting to a certain degree. He trusted that Emilie, as Adrien's mother, would be able to know what was best and likely went along with it because "She'll know what to do. She's his mother and I trust her. If she says it's what is best, then it's whats best and it's what I want." But then as SOON as she was gone, he didn't have that to fall back on and in comes Nathalie, the second best thing. She knows Adrien, she's helped raise him. She's been around for a long time, surely not all her suggestions are going to be wrong. So he goes along with it. (And note while I stated that SEEMINGLY as fact, it was less FACT and more OBSERVATION on my part. I could be wrong! But based off what I've seen and my own intuition, this is how I PERSONALLY have interpreted the situation). But to clarify- no decent mother is going to allow their child to be so out-of-touch. Its perfectly normal to want to protect them but when its to that degree....something just isn't sitting right. (Not saying that Gabriel is off the hook! He could have influence if he wanted too! He has the power to step in and say no- but he doesn't. He does deserve to be shamed for it, just don't forget that EMILIE IS NOT PERFECT)

Now we move on to her personality. We don't know a lot about it, at least we haven't been directly told, but at one point in Simon Says it is insinuated that she had a temper. What a strange first thing to reveal about how she acted, when she's supposedly the ideal mother and woman? (My own personal opinion is that she is going to have that temper, and be bold, intelligent, strong, cunning, charming, and eventually shown to be ruthless, but that is ONLY because I feel that those are traits that accompany a main villain well. I'm not saying that for a fact and I could be COMPLETELY wrong- I thought Duusu was going to be a bitter bipolar ball of sass but from the small clip we've seen she's sweet as a strawberry. So don't take this as fact, PLEASE.) What a strange trait to put any amount of emphasis on for someone painted as ideally as her.

Also- why was she interested in the Miraculous? She knew about them, we know that for a fact, because she gave Gabriel the book. She, I believe, is the one who started this whole miraculous endeavor. I mean, Gabriel by himself I doubt would have any interest in traveling completely out of the country on some off-chance that these so called "magical trinkets" might exist, would he? That doesn't sound like him to me. Not something he'd partake in by himself. Not to mention, we know the miraculous are directly tied to her coma, and without any villains to fight, why on Earth would she be using the peacock miraculous so much? I don't recall it ever being confirmed but we all basically assume it's canon now that Emilie is in a coma because of the damaged miraculous. What on EARTH could she have been doing that required her to use the broken of their two miraculous so frequently? And not even cause any past of sentimonsters in the city (we know that because of how surprised everyone is about the sentimonsters beforehand, how even Ladybug questioned it when we first saw one) And in the end, the book was her last gift to Gabriel. It was hers, not theirs, hers. So that leads me to question- did Gabriel even know about the book until Emilie gave it to him? And if that's the case, why would she wait until she was THAT sick to give it to him? Something just feels off about that.

Now we go on to think about everything Gabriel says when he talks to her. Now there have been MULTIPLE episodes, I can't give exact quotes or even tell you what episodes they were, where Gabriel said something about ruling the world...yeah nah someone like him isn't interested in governing a world of idiots, I've heard that that was simply bad translation and we can also just chalk it up to him getting carried away and less referring to actual world-domination and more just showing exactly how much power he'll have if/when he gets his hands on those miraculous and make his wish. But Gabriel has said things about "promises" they made and "Righting their mistakes"- there is obviously more going on here than meets the eye. There has BEEN more going on here than meets the eye since day one. And we're still in the dark as to the Agreste's full story. Obviously Gabriel and Emilie have made mistakes and his goal isn't just to wish her back, but I'm going to say to potentially wish away the very mistake that caused the miraculous to be broken and Emilie to go comatose in the first place. Perhaps there's more to it but that seems like the most logical route to me. Again, we don't know the full story yet, which just leaves open so many questions and leaves Emilie up to even more suspicion. What was she doing that needs wished away? What broke the peacock miraculous? What did they promise each other?( I think I've mentioned that before and someone said Astruc addressed it or something but I digress, unless I hear something solid and concrete disproving it Im going to wonder about it forever. )

It's been insinuated I believe that the whole reason Gabriel became Hawkmoth was BECAUSE he wanted to bring Emilie back and right those past wrongs. His whole motivation to keep going could be that once he gets those miraculous and changes the past, he will never have had to have even become Hawkmoth in the first place and therefore his current actions don't matter so long as he succeeds and erases that part of his life completely. The ENTIRE REASON he became the supervillain Hawkmoth is because of his wife. And if he succeeds he could potentially wipe it all away and have a clean slate at the expense of someone else taking his place, of course. That may be what he is relying on to keep himself going and justifying his actions for all we know. People didn't know about Hawkmoth before origins, they were all surprised, so that's more proof that...he wasn't really Hawkmoth until his wife fell ill.

Not to mention all the symbolism we see. In Adrien's post on Instagram with Nathalie helping him with his homework, we see Nathalie, working hard to be of service to the Agreste child and fill the role of a mother while his biological mother's portrait, in all its "perfect" glory (Also a picture that clearly idolizes her, making her look almost like some sort of Goddess) sits blurry in the background...watching. That is the best example I have right now but if anyone else has more, feel free to let me know! I'm sure there are plenty of things here I forgot to mention that can be addressed, and if anyone thinks of any, PLEASE, send an ask my way and feel free to discuss it. But this has been my argument, and official "called it!" post on how Emilie is not all she's cracked up to be.

Also a side note- I'm also calling Gabriel succeeding. I believe he's gonna get the miraculous. Its just the twist the show needs, the 'bad guys' for once seeming to win, but they're all pawns in Emilie's game....that last line may be a bit drastic but Im not going to say I don't believe it to some degree.

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shari-berri · 4 years

Text

Let’s have a talk about human decency, respect of other people, respecting disabilities, disorders, illnesses, and overall not being a dick. Oh! And wanting answers as this person was not helpful, PLEASE ANSWER ITS URGENT!

I made a post on Yahoo Answers for an issue I have been having.

This is what my question/information was:

Our kitten who is relatively new, 1 year, keep going to the bathroom outside of the litter box. My mom keeps moving it to where she has used it but she suddenly moved it upstairs. Now, she said that there needs to be on on every level of the house, but there are a few things wrong with that. First off, our house has a half level. The only thing “upstairs” on a “second floor” is the kids rooms and a bathroom. Otherwise it is open space for the living room. Besides that, it said that a litter box shoulder be anywhere near loud areas, like children’s bedrooms. Now, I am right across from it and I already have insomnia. I’m extremely sensitive to smell, sound, all senses, probably my ADHD, and this wouldn’t help. There is also one in the bathroom. I gag/puke at anything. Every smell is amplified by 100 due to my adhd sensitivity. I know what something tastes like from smelling it. I puke almost every single time I clean the litter boxes and the smell drifts right into my room, not to mention my allergies to cats and asthma. Our cats that do this don’t even relieve themselves upstairs and I feel like this would just make them since it happened before in the bathroom but it stopped after putting the litter box downstairs. I fear for my health and that it would cause the kitten to defecate on the rugs again.

This was a person’s reply:

Let’s debunk this, shall we?

-I was accused of, lemme check, faking my MENTAL ILLNESS due to “incorrect symptoms” and such. Apparently, hypersensitivity to surroundings isn’t a symptom of ADHD, only OCD.

This person stated that ADHD only “has trouble focusing and relaxing”

If you were to look at it on the most basic and uneducated level then sure, that’s entirely what the whole fucking disorder is!

Lesser known symptoms of ADHD that as someone WITH this mental illness would know:

-(MOSTLY) transient tics

-difficulty controlling emotions

-anger

-impulsiveness

-OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?! HYPERSENSITIVITY!!!

-Next: “You’re either making this shit up or you’re just a REALLY stupid complaining child” “trolling”

Social rules and norms, yeah?

Apparently they’re nonexistent to this person

Right, so NEVER, and I speak for everyone with a disorder, disability, whatever, NEVER EVER accuse them of ‘faking it’!

Oh, yes, I love pretending like I have (blank), I love the ostracization it gets me, the harassment, the bullying, it’s my FAVORITE part!

Assuming they’re talking about the topic of the question: ummmm...pets 101?

Yes, my cat has never shit on the floor, Princess ALWAYS uses her litter box.

Where the fuck did this happen?! Animals do this for different reasons, why the hell would I “make this shit up?”

You know me, joking about stepping in my cat’s shit, hilarious!

-“I bet you whined and whined for a kitten but now that you realize it includes work you don’t want it!”

At the time we got Fufu, we were in no position to adopt another cat. We already had 3 and were living in a rental house after my house had a fire. We were lucky that our three cars were ALIVE AND BREATHING, having been rescued and given tiny oxygen masks and kept in the vet’s breathing chamber. My sister’s friend had kittens and my mom brought it home to “babysit” for the day. Of course, she ended up keeping it. I was AGAINST the idea, ya hear that?! We were in no way able to take care of another creature, we were settling legalities and such. Did I mention that my mom had done the same thing with the third cat? Just showed up from work one day with a cat carrier and cat. I did NOT at all whine, I had no idea we were adopting our last 2 cats.

About work being involved and me backing out because of it:

For YEARS since I was 4 I have been going to a horse riding summer camp where in order to ride, we had to clean. I’m pretty sure that if I’m able to:

-muck out 20+ stalls

-change all of the hay

-Carry tons of hay bales

-Lead horses time pasture etc

-pick horses hooves

And all that? You think a fucking LITTER BOX is “too much work” and that I’m gonna leave because, “Oh no! Now that I know there’s work, I no longer want to do it!”

-Allergies: Again, I didn’t have a say in whether or not I got this cat

-“Tell your family you don’t deserve this kitten.”

And that helps my cats shitting on the ground, my inability to breathe from asthma, especially from the litter in my room how? Cool, I told my parents I don’t deserve Fufu, problem solved, well done Governer!

-“You’re an immature child making shit up just to shirk the responsibilities of caring for it.”

Again, seeing all of the work I did just for a summer camp, where I shouldn’t have been working in the first place in order to ride horses like I was paying to do, I don’t find this statement accurate, like at all. Not including all of the other things I do:

-Pack Away Hunger

-Summer camp counselor

-Volunteering at animal shelters

Sure dude, sure.

Again with the making shit up?! Are people not aware that animals have accidents? I had to put diapers on my elderly Yorkie! And making shit up, ah yes, I forgot nobody has ever witnessed someone with a strong gag reflex. Yeah, peacefully relaxing, something that I apparently can’t do because I have ADHD, but make me gag randomly.

Let’s also remember that due to my hypersensitivity, I know what something tastes like from smelling it. Taking “eat shit” to a whole new level!

How relaxing is it to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of cats scratching around and throwing litter everywhere, the sweet scent of cat shit lulling you to sleep.

Mmmmm peaceful!

Now: analyzing what I said

It did say that cats should have a litter box on ever floor, but what if it was a half floor? Yeah, the only second floor we have is a slight jutting platform that is enough to hold children bedrooms and a bathroom.

Again, only move the litter box if absolutely necessary

Fufu used to relieve herself on the upstairs bathroom rugs but since we put a litter box in the porch, she stopped doing that. Oh, and the porch is connected to the kitchen, no doors. It’s great trying to eat while smelling cat business wafting through the air like Eddie’s breath going back into his face, big fan!

She started recently peeing outside of the litter box in the kitchen, if we put litter boxes somewhere, wouldn’t she just shit in that area?? (Answer in comments)

Litter boxes should not be by loud areas, specifically, children’s bedrooms. And, there should be a clear escape route.

Being directly in between my youngest sisters’ room who scream loudly when watching anime and my older sister’s room who squeals, not at ALL quiet.

And escape routes??? Our cats could get stuck in so many places, that’s a no!

So, please let me know in the comments what I should do! I REALLY need answers!

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reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part 9

Disclaimer: Im so sorry for keeping you guys waiting, but Ive been trying to figure out my new schedule and had literally no time to write anything down 😬 This part contains lots of angst and honestly I don't feel like its the best🤣 I want to thank y'all for all the love and support💕☺️And forgive me in advance for this is 100% gonna be utter shit😭🙏🏽 So don't kill me😅

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @amy8220 @affection-rabbit @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19

- Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Warnings: Angst, Violence, bad grammar + spelling.😂

Your POV

“My wife...” At Ivar’s words you had felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest, crumpled, and stomped on by him right in front of you. You just looked at the blonde beauty and thought about how perfect she was and how you could have never compared to her. “(Y/n), are you alright? You seem pale and quite unwell.” Freydis says to you with what would seem as genuine concern in her eyes. Your mind was at a loss for words, something that did not happen often to you anymore. You didn't know whether it could've been out fo jealousy or if out of shock and what seemed like a flare of anger rising in you. “Just a little light headed, that's all. Anyways, are you alright if we go up to the castle now? Or are there anymore people on the ship?” You say through gritted teeth and a fake smile on your face. Freydis exchanges a look with Ivar and he then turns to you with a smile on his face nodding. As the three of you turn to walk towards the hill leading to the castle, you noticed how Freydis gushed over Ivar in front of you. Occasionally she would turn and pretend to admire her surroundings and meet your eyes trying to show off. You promised yourself that for the love of your siblings and family that you would go along with the facade and pretend as if you didn't want to kill her every time she clung onto him like that. But it was proving much harder than you had initially thought. “Freydis, I would like a moment to talk to (y/n). You can continue making your way to the castle with a few of my men, just be careful love.” You heard Ivar say to her as his lips grazed hers.

Why had you been so jealous? You were happily married now to Arthur and had 2 beautiful children by him. As you would not let yourself think otherwise as to who the possibility of who the father could be. Not paying attention to Ivar or his “wife” you kept looking out towards the gardens and the townspeople. Your body is then whisked around rapidly by your so called “brother” and you come face to face for the first time in 4 years. “Why?” “Why what Ivar?” You say rolling your eyes at him trying to avoid this touchy subject. “You know exactly what!” He says pulling you off to the side and out of hearing range of anyone around. “How could you keep my children away from me!”

Ivar says as his grips tightens on your arms, surely to leave a bruise. Back then you would have cowered with fear at his tone of voice. But now you were a queen and Arthur had made you realize that no one not even himself could ever trample over you again! “First of all, you are not the king here and you DO NOT! Call the shots!” You say gripping his hand and forcing it to unclasp your arm. “Secondly, my children have a father and his name is Arthur Pendragon. The King of this land and I am his queen and I will not have you disrespect him with such blasphemous words leaving your mouth!” You say to him, with as much venom as you could muster laced into your words. His eyes showed shock and admiration in them. Surely in his mind he thought about how much you had changed and how the once scared girl that graced the land of Kattegat was now gone. Ivar knew the answer to his question though. You could not bare to let him in on the fact that you had bared him children, it would have placed everyone you cared for in the danger you had placed so far away from you. Not waiting for him to answer and get his words together you turn around and leave him behind in the dust. Walking away you felt empowered and for the first time like you had the control over him and it felt good.

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Making your way through the halls of the castle you finally reach the hall to see everybody gathered and chatting with each other. Marjorie notices you enter and springs quickly from Arthur’s lap and makes a bee line for your arms. “Mama! You're just in time, Uncle Bjorn is telling us stories of when you were my age. Frankly you were quite boring, but it’s okay you’ve gotten a wee bit more fun!” She said as she clung around your neck. This child you say as you internally roll your eyes. She could always leave a whole room without words in seconds. But it was a quality that you were quite fond of. Carrying Marjorie in your arms you made your way towards Arthur and sat beside him. Marjorie then jumps from your arms to Arthurs lap and starts to play with the buttons on his jacket. Marjorie adored her father and it was evident to everyone who would look their way. Especially Ivar who sulked and gritted his teeth every time his eyes laid on her playing with Arthur.

Arthur lived to serve our children, but Marjorie was his mini-me. However, Erik was all mine. At that I call Erik away from the candies I know that he so desperately wants to eat, but that I will not let him. This boy is hyper enough as it is and I cannot handle so much excitement and emotions today. His little eyes turn to me pleading for a small bite of the sweets that are bestowed upon him. However, I am firm in my decision and although disappointed he makes his way to me with a huge smile on his face and his arms outstretched. Holding him in my arms I cannot resist, but spin him around as we both giggle and fall to the floor in a fit of laughter. “You're an exceptional mother (y/n), I always knew you would be.” Bjorn says whilst looking toward me with tears brimming in his eyes. “I feel incredibly proud of you for pushing past all the horrible things that have been placed in front of you and you coming out on top.” At that tears begin to form in mine. “Ok, Ok. No more crying. I feel as if there has been enough of that in our lives to last us the rest of them.” Hvitserk says whilst laughing. At his comment everyone laughs and that is when Sara enters the hall. “Your highness it is time for their majesties’ lessons.” She says whilst bowing her head. At that Erik and Marjorie stand up and rush towards her. They loved Sara and treated her as if she were their older sister. In fact she was Mira’s younger sister who was sent to me by Gisela when she found out about my pregnancy. I could not have asked for a better tutor for my children. Saying my goodbyes to them I turn to walk towards my husband, but come to notice a certain look on a certain bear like man. Bjorn’s eyes hold an astonished look of admiration and adoration. The look of a man who's been taken to heaven and does not wish to come back.

Arthur taps my knee to grab my attention, but he notices what Ive just witnessed and a smirk is displayed on his face. “It seems that our little Sara has caught your interest, Bjorn?” Arthur says playfully to him. “Yes, it appears to be so. Ive never met such a beautiful woman in my life.” Bjorn says still in what seems to be a trans like state of some kind. “Bjorn, surely you’ve met more beautiful women than a simple tutor and maid, have you not?” Freydis says from Ivar’s side. Her comments made by blood boil, which Arthur noticed and took quick action against. He placed his arms around my shoulders and whispered sweet nothings into my ears. He then lays one of his hands on my lap, to then which I place my hands on his, holding him ever close to us.

The way she caresses his hair and the way she positions herself beside him is bothersome to me. It goes to show that Freydis is a woman that will do anything to keep him, even if that a means worshipping him like a God. Trying to lighten the mood and ease the tension that quickly seems to be building up. Arthur asks about Kattegat and how it has been since we left. What we didn't know was that at this very moment just a few feet away was the person who would bring about sorrow and grief everywhere they went. Especially to me.

-------------------------------

Bjorn’s POV

When Arthur asked about the current state of Kattegat, my hands balled into fists. Not by his question, but because the ruin of Kattegat had come with us to England. “Well, it could be better, but I will not ruin our visit with such an ill subject.” I reply in a tone in which everyone understands that the subject matter at hand should not be one to be discussed. At the moment (y/n) decides to turn the attention upon Ivar and his new wife. It was obvious that she was hurt by it, however knowing my sister she would never admit that to a soul. She was moodier then I could remember her being, but it could just be the fact that people in England are moodier then everyone. “When and how did this come about, and why had we not heard sooner about this union Ivar. Where you hiding your wife from me? Or did you simply want to take us by surprise when you brought your whore to a place where my children reside? Huh!” (Y/n) says while she stands up, rage very much evident in her eyes.

At that the room became silent and servants who seemed shocked and outright astonished by the fact that (y/n) was behaving this way. Arthur stood up from his throne and pulled her body into his as a way to try to calm her down, but we knew that it would not be so easy. “Control yourself (y/n), please. This is not good for you and you know it. The doctor said you should rest and not become stressed. Please I beg of you, listen to me and stand down.” Arthur whispers into her ear. After what seems like ages (y/n) looks down and Arthur softens his hold on her. A quiet Im sorry leaves her lips and she walks out of the room towards what seems to be her quarters. I would have to check up on her, this was very unsalted behaviour for her and it worried me.

Arthur clears his throat and asks the servants to shows us to our rooms, but not before asking Ivar to stay behind. “Ivar, please stay. I would like to have a word with you and apologize for my wife’s behaviour towards you both.” As everyone moves Freydis seems to stay in her place by Ivar’s side. Obviously not getting the fact that she was not part of the conversation that was to be had. “Alone.” Arthur says while facing the window and his back to them. Something that I knew bothered Ivar very much...Authority and power which he could do nothing about.

---------------------

Arthur’s POV

“So, what is it that you wanted to speak to me about, besides your wife’s ridiculous outburst?...Your majesty.” Ivar says through gritted teeth. Turning around I keep my face stoic as ever, however all I wanted was to punch this man in the face for all the pain and suffering he had not only caused my wife, but her people as well. I had heard of Ivar’s actions against his people from my spies in Kattegat and from Bjorn himself. I knew that the once respect that I held for this man had gone out the window the moment he started burning everyone who opposed him. “Come, I wish to show you something out on the balcony.” I say to him as I walk without waiting for his reply. I can feel his eyes burning holes into my skull, but I care not for this as I have more pressing matters at hand.

Stepping out onto the balcony I look over the lands that had been bestowed upon me by my father. “These lands, were given to me by my father, who which in turn got them from his father, and so on. One day when (y/n) and I are gone these lands shall go to Erik or Marjorie... Our children.” In this moment Ivar scoffs and I could see him roll his eyes at me. “Your children? We both know who damn well! Fathered those children Arthur! It wouldn't take much to see the resemblance between us!” He yells at my direction. “I invited you to my home so that my wife would be able to see her family once again away from the dangers of Kattegat! But I now see that it was a mistake to invite you here. Erik and Marjorie are not and will never be yours! And on top of that you come with a “wife” who's sole purpose of your marriage was to get your mind off of my wife! MY WIFE! Whom shall never be yours!” I yell at him as my patience wears thin. Unable to hold back the anger and resentment I feel towards him anymore, I grab him by the collar and push him towards the railing. Grabbing him so that he may not fall, but just enough to try and scare him.

However, I underestimated him and feel my footing quickly fall from beneath me. Ivar then lunges himself on top of me and begins to throw punches left and right. I dodge and fight back as much as I can, but he is able to get a couple of punches in. Spotting an opportunity I quickly flip us over and start punching him for everything he has done. At this point I see red and fear that there will be nothing to stop me from killing him. Except my wife. “Arthur! Let him go! What are you doing!” She says as she runs towards us. In that moment I forgot about ivar and stared at my wife, but it only took a second for Ivar to kick me and cause me to crash against the railing itself. “Ugh!” Before I could lunge myself at him (y/n) threw herself in front of him. And I stopped dead in my tracks. How could I have been so foolish to think that she could have ever loved me back. To think that we could have actually had something. NO! She will always choose him, she will always choose Ivar.

Your POV

I couldn't let them go on. I couldn’t let my husband kill the man that I once loved. No matter how much he deserved it, but Arthur didn't understand that. He didn't understand that I had put Ivar behind me and that now all I wanted and all I needed was him. Arthur looked like as if his world had been flipped upside down and like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, by me. Shaking his head he looks down and heads inside. Not before stopping and turning around to face Ivar one last time. “If you ever utter the words that Erik and Marjorie are yours, I will not hesitate to kill you on the spot. Im done showing mercy and being the fool.” And with that he walks inside bloodied and leaving me astonished. “(y/n), I...” “Shut up! Just shut up! How dare you! Did I not warn you that something like this would happen! You need to stop Ivar, Erik and Marjorie are not yours and will never be! Arthur has been the father that they need and deserve. You on the contrary will never be their father, because all you do is bring me pain!” I yell at him through the tears that fall down my face like a cascade.

“How could I have proven to you that I could be great father, when you didn't even give me a chance! I gave you a way out of the situation you were in! I told you that we could have run away together and lived together as a family away from it all. But you! You decided that I wasn't good enough for you!” He says standing up from the ground cradling his side, obviously showing that Arthur had got in a good punch or two. “I couldnt have and you know it! Floki he...” I begin to say before I stop myself and think about that night. “What! What did he say to you (y/n)! What lies are you gonna spew out about the only man that has ever cared for me my entire life!” He says getting extremely close to me, his eyes showing hints of a side to him that I had never come across but had heard from the gossip and read from the letters Bjorn sent to Arthur. “Your precious Floki threatened me with your life and that of everyone who is close to me, if I didn't leave Kattegat! So yes! Blame me Ivar for being so selfish that I placed your life and the lives of everyone I cared about before my own!” With that I left Ivar standing there in the balcony by himself, just like I had left him that night 4 years ago.

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1 month ago...

“What do you need of me, my queen?” Freydis said to Aslaug. “Ivar and his brothers shall be visiting England fairly soon and I will need you to be my eyes and ears into everything that occurs there. I wish to know exactly what (y/n) and her husband have been up to, I hear that their union had been blessed with children. Find out more about them and if you ever get a chance, take this.” Aslaug says as she pull out a vial. “This will ensure your reign as Queen of Kattegat and will finally put an end to that Christian child. I do not care of she's miles away, while she breathes Ivar will never be yours. And he will never grow to be the man that I wish him to be.” Aslaug says with a cold heart and an even colder face. “But, she's of no danger to me. Ivar is mine and he always will be, its been fated by the gods themselves.” Freydis says giving the vile back. In that moment Floki comes out from the shadows. “I have lost all whom I care about, because of (y/n). Ragnar, Bjorn, Ivar and Helga have all turned their back on me because of her. I was forced to kill my own wife because of what she did in order to save this child. And you too will lose, if you do not comply with our demands.” He says whilst placing the vial back into Freydis’ palm. “You must do this if not for us, then for Ivar and all of the gods.”

“I will...”

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