loudlizardofluzon

[bunsofhoney]

Hey honey buns!

I'm just sitting in my corner shipping Wade, Peter, their past loves, other Spider-people, and Symbrock, in various configurations (burn your otps). Original fanfiction and reblogs of art and errata. NSFW content.

#My Work, #My Memes, and buns.txt have original content, or search by story title in the tags below for inspo and excerpts. Story descriptions below the cut.

Questions welcome! Look for #ask game for ideas.

Follows from my secret identity @harrowitzer

AO3: BunsOfHoney | Buy me a kofi

For the record, my favorite/recommend works are:

Snake Oil

Better than Beyond Beef (and Tear You Apart)

The Bell Jar (and Bed Bugs)

Watching You Watch Me

Toxic

Xanadu AU

Ongoing relationship AU, mostly cannon but a little head cannon. Peter's in college.

Pumpkin Spice

Peter hates Halloween, and Wade tries to get him in the mood with gifts of a decorative gourd and expired Halloween candy. Violence ensues. Rated T.

Touching Exchanges

Spider-Man and Deadpool have been fighting together a lot. Peter is growing increasingly... excited...by the various ways Wade touches him while they're working together. Rated E.

Sense and Insensibility

Baby's fist fanfic! Spider-Man and Deadpool have been palling around for months now, fighting together and building a rapport - but could it be something more? A major conspiracy falls in Peter's lap, and he and the Avengers need Wade's help to solve the case. To make matters worse, the mission takes Deadpool away right when things are getting steamy. Will the dynamic duo save the day, and will love win? Only Wade knows, because he read ahead. Thanks @babyblankyerror for some cute art :) Rated E.

Also there's an alternate Chapter 15 with a panic scene (rated T)

Love Heals All Wounds

One thing no one ever tells you about being in the Avengers: it's fucking hard work. Inspired by the art of @kodomon. Rated E.

Crime Rates and Ice Cream

It's too hot for the rooftops. It's too hot for leather and spandex. Peter and Wade look for something to cool them down. Something sticky and sweet, maybe. Inspired by @thefuzzyaya. Rated E.

Along Came a Spider

Wade is quite insistent about the inappropriate use of a nursery rhyme in the dressing room of a pop-up costume shop. Rated E.

Spatch' It To Ya

Wade's miffed when Peter doesn't call or text that he's running late. Oh and they're married now...A cute little spanking fic. Rated E.

Other AU

Peter wakes up with a familiar if unsettling alien friend. He introduces them to Wade (it doesn't go well), fights some crime, learns about phenethylamine, and tries to start unraveling the mystery of Venom's illness. Oh, and don't forget the tentacles. Rated E. (In progress)

Flufftoberfest

A series of mostly-drabbles in which Peter, Wade, their friends, family, and exes get cozy. Rated T. (In progress)

Toxic

BAMFs

5 times Assassin!Peter tries to kill Wade and 1 time he doesn't. That's it, that's the fic. Rated E (In progress)

The Bell Jar

Wade and Spidey are friends, but Wade doesn't know the high-value mark he's just kidnapped is also Spidey's secret identity. Written with prompts from #febuwhump2023. Rated T.

Bed Bugs: the sequel to The Bell Jar with lots of food and cuddles and angst and healing. Rated M.

Snake Oil

1920s/religious AU. Peter Parker is the next in line to run the small Methodist church in Middle Grove, NY, a heritage he has begrudgingly accepted. But his flock is wooed when a snake oil salesman boasting supernatural healing powers comes to town. Peter is equal parts aggravated and entranced by the smooth-talking Wade Wilson, and the literal devil on his shoulder. Rated E.

Better than Beyond Beef Series

When a sudden explosion leaves them both badly injured, Wade discovers that Spider-Man's mutation can make him a little...feral. Wade makes an offer to help Spidey heal faster and satiate his craving. What's a little cannibalism between friends?

Part 1: Better Than Beyond Beef, Featuring Feral!Spidey, based on this post from @babyblankyerror. Rated T.

Part 2: Tear You Appart, an NSFW epilogue, basically PWP with hunting and chase scenes. Rated E.

Watching You Watch Me

Peter gets a little caught-up in watching Wade, who is caught-up in jerking it to Spider-Man pictures in the Daily Bugle. Or, five times Peter enjoyed watching Wade and one time he got caught. Rated E.

Parker Photography

"Photographer Peter Parker and his muse Wade Wilson who doesn't think is pretty due to scars but Peter thinks he's literal art." - @babyblankerror. Rated M.

Bullets and Unicorns

A 200 + 69(nice) word drabble about Peter's new gig as a cam boy. Rated M.

[rodneymckays]

I know someone will have asked this already by the time I send this, but John Sheppard for the character meme you just posted. XD

BAHAH nope! u were the first <3

favourite thing about them

how he cares so deeply about his friends, but is physically incapable of verbalizing it in any way 😭 his emotional repression should not be this compelling, and yet. i find myself analyzing his every microexpression in scenes because i want to see inside that crazy head of his.

least favourite thing about them

hmmmmmmm. if i have to say anything, i think it might be the way he acts offworld sometimes. we talked a bit about it on the podcast, but when he tries to act charming, it comes off very, uhh, snake oil salesmany. if i were a pegasus native, i wouldn't trust him as far as i could throw him 😂

favourite line

"I'm a worrier."

brOTP

oh, so many. but if i have to pick, i'd say john & teyla. i love that their bonding time is teyla beating him up with sticks :'))) and how, when he's having an emotion, he tries his best to talk it out with her. and even tho he fails miserably, she understands what he means anyway :') oh, and that she calls him out when he's being an ass.

OTP

john & rodney; bing and bob of the stargate universe. “I guess in my own way, I sorta love you,” is the sentiment underlying all of their interactions. also, the taking turns saving each others lives thing. and rodney bringing out the nerd in john. and the way their relationship is so subversive? u would think the nerd character would be panting over the jock, just happy to have a friend like him, but with john and rodney, i feel like rodney has a lot more power over john than even he realizes (thinking trinity and miller's crossing) and i love that.

nOTP

i can't really see john with anyone but rodney, romantically speaking. but if i had to pick one i'd say john/teyla? painting their interactions in a romantic light kinda cheapens their friendship for me.

or maybe john/wraith? i kno there are some cool parallels there and usually im pro monsterfucker, but in this case? just can't do it BAHAHA.

random headcanon

he was raised in a conservative catholic household. this may raise some eyebrows, but i see it in his GIGANTIC guilt/martyr complex. i have never seen a character more willing to die for others at the slightest provocation. also, the way all the alien's that read his subconscious say that he "tortures himself every day" over what he perceives to be personal failures screams catholic guilt to me. that, and his biggest fear is himself. not to mention, that boy does not know how to function when he's being hugged. casual intimacy does not seem to be in his lexicon, outside of actual sex.

also, he had feelings for holland, but was content to go the rest of his life never saying anything or doing anything about it. something to acknowledge about himself once, then bury and try to never think about again. but then holland died. so it didn't matter anymore, anyways. (in vegas, john had feelings for the nurse he disobeyed orders to try and save and PARALLELING THAT WITH IN CANON EVENTS RE: HOLLAND'S BOTCHED RESCUE ARE JUST TOO GOOD TO RESIST)

unpopular opinion

he's not as shallow/boring as he's perceived to be. this is definitely not an unpopular opinion on the sga side of tumblr at least, but of the stargate fandom at large, definitely.

song i associate with them

johnny cash's solitary man goes without saying. but definitely heropsychodreamer by live. oh, and stereo by the watchmen. OH, and superhero by ani difranco. if ur interested in more, u can listen to my sheppard inspired playlists here & here. with another one in the works alksjdhfasfd i know, im insane.

favorite picture of them

i know this is joe BUT. its giving sheppard vibes.

taggin' @alfredspennyworths as well, who also asked for john <3 thank u!! i love talking about him bahah

send me more characters!

[smollestnerd]

XigXem SFW Headcanons

I love doing these to get ideas for headcanons I wouldn’t normally consider, and since I finished filling these out today I thought I’d share! Borrowed from the @otp-imagines-cult post here!

(Just a heads-up, this is a messy mashup of canon-compliant and modern au headcanons)

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Xemnas spends so much money on Xigbar. He doesn't even try to say no at this point, he knows Xig will get his way.

Xigbar sometimes feels guilty about how much Xemnas spends on him, but those feelings fade as soon as Xem comes back from shopping with bags full of gifts for Xig.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Xigbar sleeps in Xemnas’s lap. It's rare that it's the other way around, usually only if Xem is extremely tired or upset (he'll fall asleep while being comforted and held of course).

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

They both do. Well, Xigbar runs around HALF naked, Xemnas is just full frontal at any given point if they’re home alone. Xig will tell him to cover up, but he doesn't ever mean it.

When they have guests, Xigbar is fully clothed 100% of the time. Xemnas, though? There’s always at least a 10% chance he’ll forget wearing a shirt is a thing people expect from him. Everyone is either too afraid or horny to tell him to put one on, thus the responsibility falls on Xigbar to tell him. (Again, about a 10% chance he’ll “forget” to tell him to put on a shirt.)

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Bold of you to assume they both don't have 11pm bedtimes.

But every so often Xemnas will lose himself in his work and suddenly it's 3am.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Xigbar is forbidden from cooking anything that isn't microwaveable.

Xemnas's fallback career was fancy chef if “Superior of the In-Between” didn’t work out.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

Neither, but only because neither of them are very online. I think if they were though, Xemnas would see their relationship in everything but not say anything out loud. He just smiles to himself and moves on.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Xigbar is an accomplished hoodie thief. Xemnas wears Xig’s croptops sometimes to work out in, but always returns them when he's done.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Xemnas is usually the one running errands, but he rarely forgets anything on the list. Xigbar always asks if he remembered everything, though, just to soothe his own anxiety, and quietly hoping to catch Xemnas slipping up so he has something to tease about.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

Xigbar drives ever since Xemnas got his license suspended for running too many red lights.

Or; Xig drives like a maniac and Xem is just so used to it he doesn't even bother to insist on driving anymore (unless he's the designated driver, which usually he is). Xem is lowkey surprised Xig has a clean driving record.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Xemnas poses, Xigbar draws. Xig’s had plenty of lifetimes to perfect his hobbies, and even though he hasn't had time for them in a while, it doesn't take long for him to get back into the swing of things. What better way to capture his lover's radiance than through charcoal drawings and oil paints?

Plus, Xemnas absolutely adores the attention. He just basks in the glory of another being finding him beautiful enough to immortalize on canvas.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

I want to say Xemnas is the super cool backflip guy and Xigbar is the one with the chips, but honestly? It's the other way around. Xig likes to show off in front of his man, and who could blame him?

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

Xemnas overdoes it. He doesn't drink nearly as often as Xigbar does, so he doesn't exactly know his limits. Xig tries to keep his eye on him and make sure he doesn't drink too much, but unfortunately Xem is REALLY good at acting sober, so Xig never realizes Xem has overdone it until its too late.

He takes really good care of Xemnas, though, no matter how drunk he is himself.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

Xemnas and Xigbar both surprise each other quite often. Xigbar gives Xemnas little things like seashells and shiny baubles he finds on missions/outings that he thinks Xemnas will like for his office shelves. Xemnas sends Xigbar flowers when he senses Xig having a bad day, and buys him every new book that Xigbar expresses even a passing interest in.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Xemnas. He's definitely the romantic here. He's got an Entire Notebook filled with different combinations of their names squashed together.

Xigbar is lowkey terrified of major commitment. He'd say yes if proposed to of course, but he'd never offer himself up like that.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Xemnas saves it, Xigbar just squishes it. Neither are afraid but they have different approaches to dealing with bugs.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

On most cold days you can find Xigbar wearing a too-big leather coat and Xemnas in naught but a t-shirt or turtleneck.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

Ansem tried. He tried so hard. But he severely underestimated Xigbar’s resistance to intimidation tactics.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

Xemnas. He planned out a whole mega-elaborate date for the two of them, and confessed his love for Xigbar.

Xigbar: "Wait we weren't dating already??"

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

They would make fantastic fathers, they'd care about their kids so much. But christ alive that household would be chaotic as all fuck.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Xemnas used to type with perfect grammar and spelling until he learned about text lingo. "It's more efficient, Xigbar, I am a busy man and don't have time to type everything out." It's a damn lie, though, he just thinks it's neat.

Hell will freeze over the day that Xemnas uses an emoji.

Xigbar relies on emojis and autocorrect and if it doesn't catch a typo or he sends the wrong emoji, “Oh well.”

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

The bully gets attacked by them.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

Xigbar is the pun king. Genuinely funny. “10/10 would hear again.” -Xemnas, probably

Xemnas tries sometimes, bless his soul. Xigbar just doesn't have it in him to tell him they're bad.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

To Xigbar's dismay, this has happened more than once. He's the dad that is against the pet but ends up loving it, and Xemnas just can't resist bringing home strays.

They have 2 big dogs, a little dog, and a cat, and have fostered a few puppies and old, sickly cats here and there.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

When Xemnas gets too drunk to stand, Xigbar will give him a piggyback ride, but he never tells him the next day. Xemnas is too prideful and would be very ashamed to hear of it. Plus, Xigbar kinda likes keeping those moments between them to himself; like a secret he’s keeping safe for a special occasion.

Xigbar will ask for piggyback rides all the time, and Xemnas is happy to indulge him.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

When Xemnas cheers for Xigbar, it's less overzealous and more normal cheering, it's just that Xemnas' voice is booming and carries over the rest of the crowd with ease.

(Don’t ask me what competitive activity Xigbar does, for I Do Not Know)

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

They both do. The main difference is that Xemnas focuses the camera on Xigbar, and Xigbar gets them both fully in the shot.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

Both of them would be willing to give the other a makeover, but neither of them have asked.

But! Xemnas does Xigbar’s makeup sometimes, and Xigbar has bought his own style of clothes for Xemnas on a few occasions, just to see what he’d look like.

(Unrelated sidenote: they have matching onesies with cat ears and a tail that Xigbar refuses to wear unless he has to, or unless Xem asks him while Xig is wasted)

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Before they moved in together, Xigbar refused to go inside Xemnas's house unless his husky was in the backyard. He got used to her over time, and now Xemnas sometimes comes home to them asleep cuddling on the couch.

Xemnas was never actually afraid of Xigbar's beloved corn snake, but he wasn't a fan either. He’d hold him, but he wasn’t thrilled about it.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Xemnas holds the umbrella, Xigbar holds the Xemnas

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

In a canon setting they’d go worldhopping for a week, but in a modern au they'd take trips every year to cities and small remote locations around the world.

They've never been properly camping though. Xemnas refuses.

Their first trip together was small, just to a little known beach on the west coast. They lounged on the beach most of the time, and every night they ate at a different food truck. The last night they were there Xemnas surprised Xigbar with reservations for the fanciest 5-star restaurant in the city.

Xigbar thought he took all the pictures until he was going through them after the trip, only to find over half the memory card filled with photos of himself that Xemnas took when he wasn't looking

[i-will-be-your-krantt]

Oh my god Kassandra for the niche asks

Oh shite you’ve discovered my weakness - talking about my bisexual god Kassandra. (It wasn’t a very well-kept secret, but still.) So YAAAS thank you.

There might be tiny spoilers bellow, sorry.

Send me a character and i’ll tell you…

A song that reminds me of them:

I know I know it’s about a man and his boat but listen, the chorus especially is such a damn mood for Kassandra on the Adrestia.

‘’You should have turned back sooner,Cause the Reach it owns this bay, And you can’t out run her and you can’t outgun her,And you know you’re gonna pay!’’

What they smell like:

The smell of the ocean clings to her hair like she’s known nothing but a life at sea. The scent of salt, sweat, and the oil used to light the fires aboard her ship can follow her around for days after coming ashore for a contract. While on land she normally smells of weapon oil, blood, smoke, and the earth. Unless she’s spent a lot of time recuperating in a village, or crouched in a field of flowers waiting for a target that is.

An otp:

Kassandra and Brasidas. (Or Alexios with Brasidas, but Kass is pretty much it for me and I love him as Deimos.) Ubisoft truly did us a dirty when they decided to not include Brasidas as a romance option.

A notp

Kaspasia. No. Just, NO. I don’t usually have notps, because it’s all about circumstances, you know? Two characters that had nothing at all in common in canon can get on like a house on fire in a canon-divergence fic. I can read and enjoy pretty much anything that is well written. Aspasia however, deserves to get Sparta-kicked off a mountain and nothing will convince me otherwise. (Except… maybe in a Good!Aspasia fic. Like ‘’I only joined the cult to bring it down from the inside, but now I’m too far up the ladder to get out without being discovered as a mole and the woman of my dreams is currently stabbing her way through Greece to find out who I am gods help me’’ AU… ah fuck. See? I cannot do it. I will always find a circumstance that works.)

Favorite platonic/familial relationships:

Barnabas. Kass would tear through rock barehanded to get at whoever hurt her pseudo-dad/uncle. Barnabas is the best thing that ever happened to her, he’s the family she chose along with Phoibe and Herodotos. They and her girls aboard the Adrestia is home now.

Phoibe. My child. My baby. My precious little one. Every time I got to see her on screen my heart filled with warmth, my pores cleared, the birds sang and my crops prospered. Phoibe is Kassandra’s adopted daughter and you will pry that headcanon out of my cold. dead. hands.

Deimos. What’s not to like? He’s such a little shit and I love him. Best little brother ever. Plus, depending on where you travelled from this interaction is fucking hilarious. I completed several naval contracts and killed three cultists on my way to that island. (Not to mention all the wildlife I offed once I got to shore.) I literally left a trail of sunken ships and general mayhem in my wake and his deadpan ‘’why are you like this?’’ stare in this screenshot is giving me life.

A headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with:

That Aspasia has a soul, I guess? Pfft nah, I’m not sure to be honest. So far I haven’t come across a hc that I disagree with. But headcanons are usually for the creator’s own enjoyment so if I ever saw one I disliked I probably just scrolled past and forgot it.

The position they sleep in:

Sprawled out on whatever soft bedding she could get her hands on before passing out. I’m talking starfish meets octopus, a staropus hybrid. Whatever is closest will get absolutely smothered if they’re not careful. However Kassandra is a very light sleeper that has always got her hand holding on to that broken spear. Usually hidden underneath her pillow or cradled like a baby to her chest in its sheath. For stabby reasons. But also because it’s one of the only things that makes her feel safe outside of her room on the Adrestia.

A crossover au i’d love to see them in:

Odyssey+Hercules… because of that Medusa episode. Let her romance the snake lady pls. I am begging you ubisoft. It’s Ancient Greece! She’s Bi! Let her smooch Medusa.

My favorite outfit they’ve ever worn:

These two are my absolute favorites so far in the game. I’ve tried but I can’t decide which I like best so here have two:

[doctortreklock]

More a Communication Breakdown (than an elevator breakdown) - June 5, 2019

Part of my Resolution19. Read it on AO3.

Prompt: Imagine your OTP stuck in an elevator after they’ve had a fight (x - title x)

Fandom: Good Omens

Words: 936

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There were seven methods of binding angelic or demonic powers. Three of these required a being of higher power intervening. Two only worked on specific days in the cycle of the moon and then only if seventeen or twenty-three rare ingredients, respectively, were assembled. One took the life of the caster and destroyed an area the size of a small Mesopotamian city (and had, thus, never been tested under field conditions).

The remaining method was actually quite simple and required only a stick of chalk, fourteen candles, a handful of charcoal dust, eight drops of human blood, and a goat.

Crowley could have sworn he had destroyed every mention of the spell after the debacle that was 1327,* but apparently not, since he and Aziraphale were currently standing inside a large chalk circle, bereft of the ability to perform even the slightest miracle.

Oh, and Aziraphale was mad at him, which just made everything so much worse.

"--without even the common decency to telephone ahead! One would think you would have learned something after millennia of dropping by unannounced, but--"

Crowley thought that was all very unfair. Yes, he had spent several millennia being discorporated left and right after sneaking up on the angel, but that had stopped over two thousand years back and had been unheard of since the Arrangement had been established. The last time he had purposefully contacted Aziraphale before showing up at the bookshop had been 1872.**

"--believe the nerve of you some days, Crowley--"

The goat bleated in the corner of the room and started nosing around a discarded paper bag.

Crowley watched the goat absently, a small, cold lump forming in his stomach, and decided he had had quite enough of this now, thank you very much.

"--all the irresponsible things, I mean, really--"

"You mean what, angel?" Crowley interrupted loudly.*** "What? Because I thought we were--" friends "--getting on just fine. And now I can't even stop by to say hello?"

"Not when Gabriel's around," Aziraphale hissed.*^

Crowley could feel his mouth form an O of surprise, but didn't say anything. Instead, he looked more closely at Aziraphale. The tightness of his mouth, the paleness of his skin, and the shaking in his fingers that Crowley had attributed to furious, righteous anger didn't look so much like anger anymore. When he met Aziraphale's clear blue eyes, he could instead see the fear that lurked there. The angel's shoulders slumped as he realized what Crowley had found.

Aziraphale was afraid.

Aziraphale was afraid for him, Crowley. Because the demon had walked into the bookshop moments after Gabriel and Uriel had left and Aziraphale was afraid for him.

"Oh," he said quietly, not daring to take his eyes off his angel.

"My dear," Aziraphale started, his voice as gentle as Crowley had ever heard. "I--"

He was interrupted by an only-just-post-pubescent boy letting himself into the back of the New Age crystal shop where Aziraphale and Crowley had found themselves trapped. "Oh! Hi, I mean, Hello, er, Greetings," the boy said in increasing solemnity and decreasing pitch. "I am sure you are both wondering why--"

"No, we're not," Aziraphale snapped, rounding on him. "We're wondering what you have to say that's so damned important that you interrupted a very important conversation we were having."

The boy took a step back. "Er." The goat bleated loudly in alarm and skittered across the room, away from Aziraphale, to lurk behind the boy's legs.

"And," Aziraphale continued without pausing for breath, "what you thought was worth trapping us in a circle, knowing that we're going to get out of here eventually--"

"Statistically speaking, it will even be before you die," Crowley chimed in. It was marvelous to see Aziraphale channeling his fear and anger at someone who wasn't him for a change.

"--Yes, thank you, my dear. What could possibly be worth trapping us, knowing the literal and metaphorical Heaven and Hell that will be visited upon you when we get out?"

The boy wilted visibly. "I'll just, er, go get the olive oil to break the circle, then. And the gin. And sunflower seeds.*^^ I might have to run to the store," he cautioned, looking worried.

"That will be fine," said Aziraphale breezily. The boy blinked in confusion, but Aziraphale didn't look at him, turning instead back to Crowley.

"Now, my dear," he continued as the boy scampered out of the room, his eyes and tone both considerably warmer than they had been moments before. "Where were we?"

---- ----

*You pop over to Europe for a beer and a deliciously salty pretzel, just minding your own business, and then somehow find yourself bound in a fancy piece of pavement art (which can really put a damper on your day, let me tell you). If you accidentally set Munich on fire in your escape...well, it could happen to anyone, really.

**Crowley had arrived at Esa Raphael's Ridiculously Expensive Rare Books to find Aziraphale handing the printed telegram back to him and advising him to save his pence, there's a dear, cuppa tea?

***And if his voice broke slightly in the middle, well, there wasn't an angel, demon, or otherwise who would mention it to him.

*^ If you've never heard an angel hiss, you should hear it sometime. It's somewhere between a snake and an angry goose, with notes of rapidly deflating tire.

[jemariel]

For the alphabet game CASTIEL

XD I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

I mean... This is kind of reaching back, but Snarry has always creeped me out. I just. No thank you. Generally I’m all for ship and let ship but Snarry will get the side-eye from me.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I mean, Destiel, obviously, and the related Cockles (though not really much in fic form, just flailing). I’ve also been intrigued lately by Destiny, Denny, and DCJ. In non-Dean-centric ships, I have a soft spot for Saileen and... um what’s Jody/Donna’s ship squish name, Jonna? Anyway, that.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I’m not entirely sure what this means... I have lots of headcanons. Do you want my headcanon that Dean started experimenting with guys while drunk while Sam was off at Stanford after John started letting him work more of his own cases? But that until Castiel he always assumed it was just a wild drunken sex thing, he didn’t actually want to be with a guy, not like that? Because that’s a pretty solid one. All in all my headcanons are broad and mutable and open to experimentation. (Just like Dean hue hue hue.)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Okay in spite of my previous answer, I’m joining lots of others (including @ladyofthursday from whom I reblogged this) on the hill of bisexual Dean Winchester.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

.... Eeeehhhhhhh I guess it could be said that Tumblr is responsible for my absconding from the Sherlock fandom, sort of, since it was only through the fandom I found here that I got my hopes up SO HIGH that season 4 dashed them so hard. But. Ultimately I don’t think that’s what this question is asking. I haven’t started disliking any fandoms because of what I saw on tumblr, really.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

Uhhhh... I don’t.... think.... so....???

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

So, I know a lot of people love Crowley, but he’s never been high on my list. But when he was used well and respected by the writers, he was an AWESOME blend of comedy and power, the kind of snake-oil salesman who can be a really fun narrative tool, since he’s only out for himself -- except when he’s not. 

THANKS FOR THE ASK!!

{Send me letters and I will answer the question!}

[rocket-sith]

5 Things Meme

tagged by @writegowrite

5 things you'll find in my bag:

Nothing, because if you try and look through my bag, I'll whoop your ass before you find anything.

Makeup. Not just makeup. WAR PAINT. Even if I haven't even put on any makeup for the day other than a quick, basic dusting of mineral powder foundation, you never know when the need will arise for you to duck into a bathroom and transform yourself into a glam-ass superhero.

Portable external battery phone charger + cable. My idea of personal hell has nothing to do with fire and brimstone and everything to do with having no internet access.

Nuclear grade caffeine pills. 

A fake wedding ring to be worn whenever I ride public transit or hit the clubs.

Ear buds.

5 things you'll find in my bedroom tiny-ass apartment:

A ridiculous amount of equally ridiculous cosplay shit. 

LED lighted plastic cherry blossom trees. Two of them, in fact.

Way more shoes than I actually need. Many of them look like I stole them from the 80s or 90s. I don't think any of them actually have heels, because fuck that noise, I like shoes, not torture devices.

Electronic toys. No, not like that! Gutterbrain. I mean, like, a phone, a tablet, a big laptop, a little Chromebook, a couple of lightsabers, a Gamecube because fuck you, you can pry that shit from my cold dead hands, etc.

A counter full of vitamins, supplements, and botanicals. Yeah, some of that shit is a crock of hocus-pocus snake oil, but some of it really works wonders.

5 things I've always wanted to do:

Live in NYC

Visit Japan

Develop superpowers

File and subsequently win a lawsuit forcing places of employment to recognize nerd-dom as a legitimate religion and therefore be unable to get me in trouble for declaring DragonCon a religious holiday for which I am spiritually obligated to make a yearly pilgrimage. 

Figure out WTF I want to do with my life.

5 things that make me happy:

Dirty limericks and other poems in questionable taste. (Epic Rap Battles of History 100% counts)

Song spoofs and fandom filks. MAD Magazine's "sung to the tune of" gags have always been some of my faves, and I can't even tell you how many songs there are where I know the Weird Al version but not the "real" version.

NERD CONVENTIONS ARE MY LIFE BLOOD. I'm a rare species of extremely extroverted nerd, so getting to socialize and even party in a high-energy environment with a ton of people who actually speak my language is absolute bliss.

Finding somebody being a jackass and turning it into a joke. This is part of why I have so much fun writing goofy flames at antis. Oh, you're trying to get people to kill themselves over fiction? Sorry, not gonna happen, but might I interest you in a Honey Badger meme? Wait, so now I'm a bad person for writing fanfic? Here, have this cow poem I composed in your honor, because that's how seriously I'm taking you. Nothing takes the wind out of a pompous asshole's sails quicker than using their vicious hot air to inflate party balloons. 

Ridiculously cute, playful art and stories about whatever fictional OTP I'm into at any given time. I would say it's a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel remotely guilty.

5 things that I'm currently into:

The Star Wars fandom

Trying to make peace with my curly hair instead of nuking the shit out of it with a chemical straightener and waging war against it with a flat iron.

Dicking around on social media when I should be doing something productive. 

Having an incredibly unhealthy sleep schedule.

Realizing the last two things are not so much "things I'm currently into" as "basic staples of my existence."

5 things on my to-do list:

Hahahahaha those types of lists are for organized people BYE.

5 people I tag: Anyone who wants to do it. I actually knew someone back in the LJ days who got terrified whenever she got tagged in one of these things, worrying that if she didn't do it or didn't do it quick enough, whoever tagged her would be upset. I'd tagged her like three different times before I finally found out, and I felt like the biggest asshole ever. So if you wanna do it, do it, I could always use more incriminating info about you all, but I don't wanna put anyone on the spot.  

[nightglider124]

Cupid

Lo and behold, I bring you a Valentine’s oneshot. This popped into my head days ago and... I just couldn’t shake it. Dear god, someone draw this too. I want it framed.

Anyway, a Valentine’s oneshot with the otp, feat. Mar’i. <3

With mixing bowl in hand, Starfire turned around to face the kitchen island, humming a cheerful tune as she moved.

Her grip on the handle of the wooden spoon tightened as she started stirring the pancake batter up a little more, trying to get it at just the right consistency.

Starfire smiled as she caught a whiff of the vanilla extract aroma wafting from the pancakes.

When she initially came to Earth, she had been eager to share her numerous Tamaranian recipes for traditional delicacies; no matter how badly her friends' stomachs may have reacted with the cuisine.

Whilst having an ability to cook by Tamaranian standards, she had been an atrocious cook with Earth food. Cyborg had chastised her about staying away from the kitchen on more than one occasion to ensure she didn't burn the entire place down.

Of course, that didn't stop her, especially when Robin would crumble at her pleading expression and the fluttering of her eyelashes. He even offered to teach her how to cook simple things so she could at least be on the right track.

However, as the years passed, Starfire had become extremely proud of her ability to cook. She hardly ever burnt things anymore and was always testing out new recipes to share with the people she cared about.

And so, here she was serving up pancakes for breakfast.

Twisting the dial of the stove to switch it on, she juggled the bowl in her arms and prepped the frying pan with oil.

Starfire continued to sing her wordless song as she prepared the morning nourishments.

Her ears perked up at the sound of brief shuffling from another room but she kept her emerald eyes focused on the sizzling pancakes, assuming it was just Silkie wriggling around on the rug in the lounge.

She found herself getting quiet, her humming coming to an end. Starfire felt like there was something nearing closer to her.

That's when she saw it out of the corner of her eye.

Starfire turned and found herself staring at the most unusual sight before her.

A picture of innocence and cuteness. A picture of comedy.

There, floating through the air thanks to roughly 5 helium balloons being tied around her middle was her little Mar'i. She had an excited expression on her face as her mother came into view but was a little busier, chewing on the edge of a heart shaped envelope.

Starfire blinked, completely bewildered at what she was witnessing.

Her child was not only being sent sailing through the air on account of balloons; she was wearing only a diaper, with little white wings on her back and a small quiver resting between the feathered props.

Mar'i giggled and reached out for Starfire, waving the scarlet envelope around in enthusiasm.

"Mar'i?" Starfire queried, switching the stove off again to make sure the confectionaries didn't burn to a crisp.

The ebony haired girl squealed in delight and Starfire shook her head before instincts kicked in and she grabbed her baby out of the air.

Starfire gently untied the balloons, watching as they rose up and brushed against the ceiling.

"Ma! Ma!" Mar'i chimed, snuggling against her mother's chest as a greeting hug.

The Princess grinned in amusement, "Hello, my little bumgorf..." She paused and looked back up at the balloons, "what in x'hal-"

"Hey, look at that..."

Starfire smirked as she watched her husband stroll into the kitchen, his hands resting on his hips, a nonchalant façade and a smirk tugging at his own lips.

"Where'd the balloons come from?" Dick grinned, looking at his wife.

"I believe you should tell me, no?" She returned, resting her free hand on her hip whilst raising an eyebrow.

Dick chuckled, coming closer to his girls and absent-mindedly running his fingers through the strings of the balloons.

"You attached balloons to our child to imitate the Cupid." It was a statement rather than a question,

He grinned, "Hey! You got the reference to Cupid!"

Starfire rolled her eyes, "I believe it was hard to miss considering how she is dressed."

She glanced down at Mar'i who was happily biting the corner of the envelope, her big green eyes looking from parent to parent.

Shaking her head, Starfire breathed a laugh, "I cannot believe you sent our baby through the air with balloons."

"I know. I'm thinking the same as you," He paused, "it would have looked better if she was able to hold her flight but sadly-"

Starfire lightly whacked his chest, smiling, "Richard!"

"Aw c'mon, it's cute, right?" He said whilst brushing some of Mar'i's dark hair behind her ear,

She took the moment to look at their daughter who was quietly cooing and tilting her head up at her mother. Starfire pressed her lips to her forehead and cuddled her closer.

"Very cute."

Dick suddenly gasped, "Oh, and look at that!"

He shuffled over and reached out for the red envelope that Mar'i was guarding. Dick tugged at it and made a face at Mar'i who furrowed her eyebrows in defiance.

"Mar'i, c'mon. You know the plan. Give... the envelope... to... daddy!" He puffed as he finally tore it from her superhuman grasp. She pouted her little lips and narrowed her eyes at Dick before blowing a raspberry at him.

However, he didn't have to worry about it for long as she soon found something else to chew on; that being the pendant of his wife's necklace.

Dick shook his head and lifted the envelope up to Starfire, grimacing at the slobber all over it.

"Okay, ignoring the spit all over the thing, it looks like Cupid Mar'i has something for you."

Starfire raised her eyebrows and bit her lip, restraining her grin, "Oh?"

He nodded and happily received his baby girl, even though she whimpered at the loss of something to nibble on. Of course, she started gnawing on the sleeve of Dick's t-shirt as soon as she was in his arms.

Starfire took the envelope and proceeded to open it up, sliding the heart shaped card out. She smiled at all the glitter and bright pinks and reds splashed over it. It had the bubble writing of "To my gorgeous wife" on the top too.

As she opened it up, heart confetti poured out and fluttered to the kitchen floor. Starfire giggled as she watched it fall as well as reading the simple "Be My Valentine?" printed on the inside.

She smirked and glanced up at Dick with a knowing smile, "Oh, Richard..." She crooned, taking a step closer so much that only Mar'i separated the two of them from brushing chests.

Dick grinned at her, happy that she approved of his little display of romance. Of course, he had used their child as a prop but he seemed to have got the green light on it, as he <i>knew</i> he would.

"You are so sweet..." She whispered, cupping his cheek.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Well, I do try."

Starfire giggled before pressing her lips to his, capturing him in a tender kiss. Dick responded immediately and quite eagerly. He tilted his head so his lips could mould against hers a little better. His free hand, that wasn't supporting Mar'i, snaked out and grabbed Starfire by the waist.

She sighed against him, her hands cupping his neck as she deepened the kiss.

"Bleughhh!"

Dick and Starfire broke a part, looking at their daughter in amusement as she pulled a face at their display of affection.

"So, is that a yes?"

Starfire furrowed her eyebrows, "To what?"

He tapped the card still in her hand,

She blinked before smiling, "You have been my Valentine for years now, Richard."

"A guy likes to check." He paused, "but, in seriousness... I do have something special planned for us tonight."

Starfire raised an eyebrow in question, "Oh? Please, do share, my love."

Dick smirked, "Well, Princess... I'm thinking, I'll put the baby down for the night... then we can have a bit of candlelight dinner... maybe share a hot bath... and then... ya know..."

She matched his expression, "Well, that sounds glorious... please, expand on that last part?"

He chuckled, "I think you can work it out."

Starfire smiled and kissed his cheek, wiping away her lipstick immediately after, "I apologise for not purchasing a card for you in return."

Dick shrugged, "That's okay... you can make it up to me in other ways..." He flashed her a smirk, making the implication plainly obvious, "That... and you could finish up making those pancakes."

Starfire gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it.

"Of course... now..." She paused and made a face at him, "Please go and dress our daughter in something warmer, you fool."

Dick burst out laughing as she turned back to the stove, only for him to sidle up behind her and touch her waist.

"An adorable fool."

Starfire giggled before sighing as he pressed a kiss to her neck,

"Happy Valentine's day, Star."

[theviridianbunny]

Amrin Ellis [aka M0CK1NGJAY] is an autistic woman. She doesn’t formally disclose it to Kurt Hansen when they are just medic/patient (because there is such a boundary and air of professionalism there)... She will never formally disclose it to anyone other than a partner or a close friend she trusts (so in time she will tell Kurt and then in time her other partner - @another-corpo-rat 's dear Victoria Crane)

She is always masking - 100 and 10 percent of the time she masks - she wants to apper "normal" and "like a functional member of society" - and idk just the idea of - it’s early days for Kurt and Amrin- they are still learning to trust each other. Kurt is getting his arms retuned or maybe the back of his neck -

I just imagine a scenario - Amrin had *awful* day already with very rude new clients at her ripper doc office and she’s strung out. I imagine - its after hours and Kurt has come for his monthly arm re tune - and something (even if it’s something as small as her dropping a tray of implements or knocking her coffee off of her work bench) it just pushes over the edge and the mask slips and breaks like a china vase. Luckily she's all done working on Kurt because she just loses her composure

she is just angry crying - fighting so very to regain the broken composure... the panic made all the worse by Kurt being in the room - She thinks Kurt can’t see her like this - but the tears don’t stop and her breathing is un steady and her nose is starting to run and she doesn’t know where to put her hands and they just bawl into these tight fists at her sides as she is facing away from Kurt.

She thinks it is un professional- it’s not right - he doesn’t know, and he must not know that she's different- - she is afraid he will treat her like a child and belittle her. It’s what others did with her in the past - But the colonel of dog town doesn't judge her. He's more trying to pice together what's wrong- in the months they have known each other - nothing this small usually gets her so upset. Kurt is patient and quietly asks his ripperdoc if she would like to be alone.

In which- Amrin just nods - excusing herself very abruptly to try and calm herself down. It takes longer than she would like too - but once shes calmer - once her eyes are dry and she's able to breathe - she joins Kurt outside her shop. The night has grown old. The little nook her shop is in lit up by faded neon lights.

She thanks Kurt very quietly for not being weird about what he'd just seen [ thanking him in between taking a drag of her e-ciggarete - the tank of the cigarette decopaged with old bollywood magazine clippings]. Kurt just nods as he takes a drag of his own cigarette [hand rolled] - the two share a quiet moment in this little corner of dog town - before they part ways.

[theviridianbunny]

🐍💛 SNAKES OIL 💛🐍

Couple commission Victoria Crane and Amrin Ellis (M0CK1NGJAY) for my dear friend @another-corpo-rat ! It’s not every day I’m commissioned to draw my own blorbo - So when Tate asked me for this comm I was happy yelling so much - Thank you for trusting me to draw our ladies together (the wives!) - and thank you for your patience and bonking my self doubt with a stick ! A few details and a little rammble can be found under the cut ! My commission info can be found here -! If you’re interested in getting art from me or want to learn more - check it out and pop me a DM !!

I had so much fun working on this comm for Tate - with every comm I do- I wish to try and push myself and try new things. With this commission I had a go at using shapes to make a snake skin-esk mesh on Victoria's top. I wanted it to be seductive and classy!! <3