#our lives aren’t a fucking punishment for bad behavior

[c0rpseductor]

like sorry to have a. i don’t know. would it be dramatic to call this religious trauma? Well anyway sorry for the moment but like

anybody who knows me for shit knows i had a cartoonishly awful childhood. this is like, me 101. i started to self-harm as a very little kid bc i thought god hated me, so part of my issue is like, i was already mentally ill right out of the gate.

i would learn one thing in church and then come home and be told all the stuff really virulent cruel evangelicals believe, essentially. like at Sunday school i’d hear “be nice to everybody” and then come home and my mom would be like “oh Lestat. you poor fucking rube. God is vindictive and spiteful and punishes anyone he dislikes. Christians think anybody who’s suffering deserves it because God chose it for them. Christianity is evil and full of hypocrisy.” and, I mean, i understand why she had a lot of anger toward it and why she felt like there are no adequate answers for the problem of evil and ESPECIALLY why she thinks vocal christians suck. we live in America, no shit! I’ve seen TV pastors! but you don’t unload that on a kid, and especially not a kid who is also being hurt so acutely that his takeaway is “my parents do bad things to me because god wants me to suffer.” so i grew up, uh, normal

and it frustrates me as an adult because i know what the takeaway is “supposed” to be, or at least what less insanely aggressive christians tell me it is. i get that i got essentially the exact opposite message i was supposed to receive. but not only do i struggle to believe it, but the kind of things my mom used to complain about are the same things i see people unironically lob at other people. like on the adult survivors of csa group ive seen people say “during your childhood, if you felt abandoned, it’s because you weren’t listening hard enough for god. because god was there and your feelings are wrong.” like, it’s their fault? someone has a crisis of faith for one of the most understandable possible reasons and you think they just aren’t trying hard enough? and people will say with a straight face like, act like lgbt people are these subhuman aberrations and god hates them and spit on them because their idea is like, anyone who’s big and strong is who god loves and anyone who’s being hurt and tortured deserves it because god decided that’s how it would go.

it frustrates me so much that my dad like, abused me emotionally and mentally and physically and sexually and drove my mother and i out of our home and treated his whole family like obstacles in the way of his desires and then had the fucking gall to be a born-again Christian about it. it fucks with my head SO bad that nothing bad ever happens to him and he’s so easily able to go to church and uncritically swallow everything he’s told. it just feels like this confirmation that everything is arbitrary and anyone who’s been “picked” by god can do whatever evil things they want but anyone who’s hated can never, ever atone enough for the cardinal offense of having been born, no matter how much they pray or suffer.

and like, idk if i can ever get out of that hole, but it still makes me so fucking sick when people who act like they’re perfect Christians spit on people because they think they have the right to decide who is and isn’t human. because i know that’s the opposite of what they’re supposed to be getting out of it and because it’s disgusting, cruel, arrogant behavior.

[wahbegan]

I think I’m truly beginning to fully understand the term recovering addict. It synergizes nicely with my pet “addictive personality is a legit personality disorder” theory, actually.

In less than a month, I will have been clean and sober for two years. Yet, what have I accomplished in that time? Much more than I would have...but so much less than what I would have hoped.

Because the thought patterns and emotions and behaviors that led me to the bottle aren’t gone. This is why there is no such thing as a recovered addict, just an addict managing their symptoms.

And it’s very hard, and very frustrating in the social media age. In a world full of not just sex and drugs but porn and video games and a dozen social media platforms (all of them, as i said, shamelessly peddling their shit to be addictive), there’s a new poison around every corner.

A milder poison, a lesser evil, but still they inhibit growth on my part.

Well, to be clear, I inhibit growth on my part, but every minute of our lives is hyper-saturated with business models deliberately designed to enable people like me. It’s so fucking easy.

Walt Whitman rather famously said he contradicted himself because he contained multitudes. To him it was a liberating moment of self-realization, feeling that way.

But my multitudes desire to kill one another off. I am a man at war with myself. I can feel the parts of myself I cherish atrophying, I can feel my behavior driving away those most beloved to me, those people I had hoped would save me even as I realize that assigning them that status as my savior is what is driving them away. 

I can see it all, the bad path, right in front of me, and it is so fucking easy. So easy to just let myself fall into this loop, round and around, and be content in my misery because it’s what I know best and in a fucked up way, it is safe and comforting.

But I can see the good path, too. I can see the good in myself. I keep telling myself I just need more time, but that’s not it. I need more courage, more strength. I thought just kicking was going to be enough. It’s not.

The scary thing is, it’s never going to be enough. Maybe...maybe the way I’m wired, I’m intrinsically a bad person if I look away and stop thinking about it. Maybe that’s who I am in the dark. but it’s not who I want to be.

So here we are, at this crossroads, of me realizing: it seems effortless for some people, being a good and admirable person. Maybe that’s an illusion, I don’t know. But for me, it’s going to be work. Constant, hard, often unrewarding work. Maybe that’s how it is for everyone, maybe what’s been keeping me emotionally stunted and immature has been failure to recognize that simple fact.

It is going to be harder for me than most, though. Most people aren’t addicts. And....I am. I always will be, no matter how much clean time I have. I wish I could make more amends, the two people I hurt the worst when I was fucked up were the two I couldn’t make amends to. Don’t blame ‘em, but...there I go again, though. Living in the past. Constantly punishing myself like it will undo what you did. I can’t undo it. I need to learn to live with it.

It all sounds simple, laid out like that, but I just....I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do it.

[momowho34]

Here are some jewish myths you might still believe!!!!

(Pls read and reblog I’m tired of people echoing shit like this)

Jesus was not a rabbi. He lived a hundred years before rabbinic judaism even started to develop. Please stop saying this as if it lends him credence in our religion, because no. It doesn’t.

Yeah, Jesus was jewish, but he also rejected mainstream Judaism and hated it. Stop pretending he means anything to us. Idk if you guys have even read your own books, Matthew is like 60% about how the Pharisees are bad and wrong and evil for sticking to the traditions that have kept them alive for 100s of years. It’s also, y’know, historically inaccurate to the actual behavior of the Pharisees in that time period. Seriously man he is not ours and means nothing to us, keep your Jesus and stop trying to shoehorn him into judaism.

Our god is not yours “minus the Jesus.” In trinity terms; divide the Holy Spirit by the Father and then subtract the Son and that is a bare bones grasp of what god appears as for Jews.

Jews are not white as a whole. Are there white Jews? Yes. Are there jews who are literally every other skin tone? Also yes!! We are all over the place. India, numerous Middle Eastern countries, Morocco, Spain, and a lot more I can’t be bothered to list. You are actively hurting poc jews by pretending that all jews are European, holy shit stop doing that please!!! Most white jewish people are Ashkenazi, which is just one type of judaism.

Actually, the historical relationship between Jews and Muslims is a lot more complicated then you think it is. Sometimes we got along, sometimes we didn’t. Some would argue that Jews were treated better by Islamic caliphates in the Middle Ages then they were by Christian kingdoms. Stop trying to pretend we are and have always been “arch nemeses” or some fucking bullshit (that would be the Amalekites for us, actually, and not the Muslims) Also we’re honestly more similar to them when it comes to traditions then christians so like take that into account thanks

Hey guys listen to Romani when they talk about the Holocaust too!!!!! Please, they have a different experience/perspective and deserve to have their voices heard. Don’t pretend they don’t exist and that it didn’t effect them because uh.... it did. To a degree that I don’t think I can properly explain. Do not overlook them and then pretend it’s just because ur a “jewish ally” or whatever the fuck.

Stop pretending that we’re the same as Christianity. We aren’t. Stop stop stop holy shit stop. That’s not how any of this works at all. Christianity is so so so different, it takes like a handful of jewish beliefs and runs with them. Christianity is its own thing and so is Judaism, stoppp.

Not all Jews are zionists. some are explicitly anti-zionists. Not all zionists are anti-Semitic, but some of them are. Basically, jews aren’t inherently zionists and anti-Zionism isn’t inherently antisemitic. That being said, some people do use anti-Zionism as a cover for their anti-semitism. Watch out for those people, they’re not that hard to spot. That’s all I’m going to say about that, don’t want to start on this issue because it isn’t what this list is about.

Jews never actually lived by the literal laws of the Torah. We did not stone people. There is no archeological evidence of that and actually more evidence pointing to the opposite. jewish communities actually held capital punishment as being inherently immoral and was very very very rarely used in some communities. Understand that. Don’t ever say shit like “but the Jews used to live by the Bible too, and they stoned gay people!!!” No. No we didn’t. Ever. Nobody did that in ancient times.

Guess what, jews are not rich or greedy! what the fuck are you talking about??? Quit it please. This stereotype has literally been used since the Middle Ages to alienate Jews as a more privileged “other” that deserve their prosecution. Stop stop please stop, please!!!!! People actually believe this shit and commit hate crimes, stop, even as a sarcastic joke.

The Old Testament is not the same as the Torah/Tanakh. It’s just not? For one thing, the Old Testament is a translation of a cut down version of a translation of a different modified version, so no. Not the same. Also the books are ordered differently and the sections are mixed up.

God does not abandon the Jews in the Tanakh or the Old Testament for that matter. It’s like... sort of implicated to happen between the two testaments in Christianity. The Old Testament basically structured the books non-chronologically so that the last one would be Malachi because his prophecies are supposed to echo Jesus. We end the Tanakh on Nehemiah, and there is no “New Testament” for us because there’s only one and it ends at the end of the story.

Antisemitism is definitely still a thing. I don’t know who the fuck told you about this one? The Jews got treated like shit after the holocaust, and some of the few survivors 70 years later got reparations so now everybody’s acting like antisemitism doesn’t exist. It does. It really, really fucking does. Please listen to us.

Holocaust denial isn’t “a fringe conspiracy theory,” it’s genuinely awful and dangerous and hurts real people. I’m serious about this one, holocaust denial (and any genocide denial for that matter, whether it’s talking about the Armenian genocide or Holdomer or any others) is legit dangerous. Pay attention to it and have 0% tolerance for that shit

You are allowed to be invited to a jewish event if you’re not jewish! We literally do not care. Respectfully participating in traditions if you’re invited to is fine! The issue is when people take a jewish tradition and twist it into something for them. That’s a no-no, but getting invited to a seder/bar mitzvah/bris is fine. just show respect to traditions you see, even if you don’t entirely understand them. Do that and you’ll be fine.

Jews are a ridiculously diverse group of people with a lot of different beliefs! We all have vastly different ideas of fucking everything from god to the purpose of pomegranates (not a joke). Accept that we think differently form eachother and aren’t a monolith please

These are all the ones I could think of lol, jewish friends add more if you can think of some. Ok and encouraged to reblog for everyone.

[zackcrazyvalentine]

i am the anon who asked earlier about the character limit ! i’m ready to send my ask now-

so could you write something about a female mc (or gender neutral it’s up to you !) that doesn’t take a shit form anyone ? like when someone bother she just “tsk” before threatening them and the bois are like “wtf that was kind of hot tho-“ .

i can see them just simping for her like we simp for them and it’s making me laugh-

also i’m not really sure if you write for them but a small reaction of perhaps side-characters to her ?

i’m really asking for too much skdkdjdksowkw-

thank for reading it and i hope i’m not bothering you ! ( ´ ▽ ` )

Alright, for this one, anon allowed me to pick some Twst guys to react to MC

But, ahem…. hope they’re (and y’all are) happy with the way I carried this out

Neige (& dwarves) + Che’nya are also included, as they wished to see side characters react to this MC too

Let’s get started (bc it’s loooong)~! 

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, EVERYONE!! 🥳🎉

-- -- --

OVERVIEW

Heartslabyul: Riddle is very surprised at her behavior and may scold her for it, but he secretly admires the confidence and will to stand up for herself. Trey is also taken aback, but well… if that helps her get through NRC, fine by him (he pretends not to see). Cater SIIIIIIMPS like duuuude THAT ATTITUDE IS WHAT HE DESIRES TO HAVE AGAINST HIS SISTERS (she’s his role model now). And man, do I even need to say what Ace and Deuce think? PLAIN FUN, and they simp, Deuce a little more than Ace.

Savanaclaw SIMPS and simps HARD. Ruggie and Leona due to females in Afterglow Savana being overall more respected. Not to mention IRL lionesse are in charge of hunting and female hyenas are the dominant ones in pairs. Jack I see as someone who admires people who are strong and can stand for themselves, and a no bullshit MC is wow… but perhaps he thinks maybe she could be a little more polite.

Octavinelle is a little hard to read. Azul first is very surprised and a bit offended, but once he finds out she acts this way towards everyone and anyone… Be ready to become his 3rd bodyguard lol. Leech Twins adore to annoy her, Floyd provokes her more with tugs and shoves while Jade can just throw ANY comment her way with that smile to trigger the instinct; she’s become their little plaything of sorts.

Scarabia: Kalim is SHOOKED!!!! The first time he hears her comments leaves him with a surprised pikachu face. Jamil is startled a bit, but man… SIMPS, and is like "you speak my inner thoughts".

Pomefiore: Vil is also VERY surprised, but admires the way she so willingly defends herself with only words and harsh glares (anger looks very pretty on her). Rook SIMP, yuuup. He's amazed at how just one comment and death stare from her has magic wielders cowering in fear, gets goosebumps from excitement when those are directed at him. Epel simps too! Like DAMN HE WANTS TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF LIKE THAT!!! No more stupid etiquette classes, time to be tough! (Vil quickly turns his plan to dirt tho lol)

Ignihyde: Idia is ?????? At times, he's very intimidated by her, but on other occasions he's ready to talk back (this especially when he's communicating through the tablet). Ortho is shook, too. For someone who comes from another world and is scared by many possible scenarios in this Wonderland, they're surprisingly brave. He likes her! Get ready to be his Big sis

Oh man, Diasomnia… Malleus is surprised when he first sees the change of attitude, since she's nice in his nightly visits to Ramshackle, but very soon he'll be like "I like this human" Slowly becomes her simp.  Lilia is VERY amused by her behavior and sometimes likes to provoke her. As soon as a threat is thrown his way, however, he'll be ready to throw one back as he smiles brightly. Silver is surprised, they all cower before her, how?! He may or may not simp, but he absolutely looks up to her (wishes to be more assertive like that). Boy oh boy… Sebek… SHOOKED; just try to say something rude to his Young Master, get ready for the loudest "EXCUSE ME?!" and following rant. Shooked and shooked TO THE CORE.

ALL the staff are very irritated by her antics, but the ones more vocal about it that have a little back and forth with her are Crowley and Crewel. Sam just laughs it off, besides it's rare for her to threaten him (mainly bc he gives special discounts for her).

BOY...RSA… Neige is SHOOKED, but rudeness never stopped him from making friends and pull a smile out of them (well, ya better stop right there bc she's ready to PUNCH). Needless to say, majority of dwarves are surprised too… except, Grant who just chuckles and says like Jamil "speaking my inner thoughts".  Che'nya acts as if it's the most normal thing, doesn't flinch back or anything ("we're all mad in our own ways~ it's the norm here")

In the end, all of them simp for her, one way or another~ (and let her get away with a handful of stuff bc simps)

Heartslabyul

"Aren't you the cutest little thing~? Look at your lil' nose sniffing my finger so adorably!!" The [color] haired girl gushed at the hedgehog in her hand, carefully petting its colorful quills.

Someone sighed in irritation at her behavior, "Stop that! We're not allowed to pamper the hedgehogs like that, so cut it off!"

[Color] eyes narrowed at the intruder, "And who here says I care what you, or the rules, say? They're animals, pets practically. You need to show them affection for them to live long, happy lives, dumbass."

At the small scene, Trey interrupted, “Let's please act accordingly. Come on, we need help painting the roses." The 3rd year signaled the other Heartslabyul student to follow.

"What?! No, not fair! How come she's not getting punished for this when we get scolded for it?!" He raised his voice.

"Hey now, leave [Name]-chan alone, she isn’t bothering anyone. Be a good kouhai and listen to Trey-senpai. Remember vice dorm leader is just as respected as dorm leader here." Cater cut in, trying to somehow make things lighter.

"Bull-!" Before the guy could even finish his sentence, Riddle appeared.

"What seems to be the matter here? At this rate, if you keep getting distracted with unimportant things, we won't have our preparations ready." The redhead followed their gazes to the girl sitting on the floor surrounded by a rainbow of hedgehogs.

"Ah, I understand." Riddle nodded.

"Thank-!" However, the student was once more cut off by the 2nd year.

"[Surname] was appointed by me personally as hedgehog caretaker. Her activities consist of cleaning cages, feeding, and the important task of pampering them with affection and love." Heartslabyul's dorm head explained, "We do play croquet frequently, and many 1st years don't treat our animals superb. Not to mention, it is said the Queen of Hearts herself would pamper her hedgehog just like [Surname] is doing… Admirable, don’t you think?"

"Are we clear now?" Slate grey eyes looked sternly at his dormmate.

Defeated, the boy accepted. "Yes, dorm leader Rosehearts."

"Go help Cater and Trey with rose duty." Riddle dismissed the boy.

On his way out, a certain troublesome 1st year made an indirect comment.

"That's why you get informed before complaining about things~" Ace teased.

Deuce smacked his friend on the back of the head, "Shut it, we committed the same mistake when we first saw [Name] baby talking the hedgehogs."

"H-Hey! There was no need to reveal that!"

Savanaclaw

Full cafeteria, the worst scenario ever. Not to mention both [Name] and Grim were starving.

So, when she saw an opportunity to get in line for the (oddly) short line for [fav. food], she did. However…

“What the fuck’s up with you?! Just because you’re a girl ya think ya get special treatment, dumbass?!” Some random rude student said.

Oh, bad move, idiot.

All [Name] had to do was throw an icy glare their way and turn away slowly for the boy to tremble in his socks.

Human and Grim picked their full and finally headed to any empty spot available, which resulted in them sitting with the Savanaclaw students, who watched the scene unfold.

“[Name]-san, that’s some temper you’ve got-” Ruggie began talking, but was immediately silenced by the same icy stare.

“To hell with that, I am hungry and ready to destroy the world, so better keep your mouth shut to see your future.” The girl grumbled, taking the first bite of her precious meal.

Three pairs of ears flattened in shock, looking at one another to agree on what they experienced right now.

“Wait a second…” Ruggie thought, breath hitching after receiving such cold glare.

Jack kept a watchful eye as he drank his water, strange warmth crawled up his face. “That was…”

Leona, for once, looked awake enough. Green eyes with a tinge of respect reflected in them, teasing smile slowly developing on his face. “Seems like the herbivore has some fight in her… Nice, very nice…”

“That was… very attractive…” The trio gulped down whatever they were eating, before averting their gaze elsewhere to hide the blush. Except Leona, he chuckled silently before looking down at his plate to recover from the little display of power from her part.

Meanwhile, the otherworldly student and cat monster shared a confused look. “Weirdos… Do they enjoy seeing me eat? Yeah, not sitting down with them again.” [Name] decided.

Octavinelle

"Keobi-chan~!"

"Not again…" [Name] grumbled between teeth. Just as she thought she was out and away from the whole Octavinelle trio, these two come again for her.

"Let's go, koebi-chan! Azul wasn’t done talking with you~” Floyd grabbed onto her arm and tugged.

“You two never know when to stop, or do you?” Grim swiped at Floyd’s hand as best he could from the girl’s shoulder.

Then came the chuckle she hated most, that instantly ignited that fight or flight instinct in her. “Please, Floyd is simply stating the truth. Azul is adamant in speaking to [Surname]-san, it’s only expected of her to allow him some time. After all, he was so gracious to lend his help when she most needed.” Jade linked his arm with her free on and began walking.

“Oi! Get your hands off me! I’ve heard enough from Azul! I’ve declined the offer more than enough times for it to get through his head!” The [hair color] stood her ground as much she could, but the two towering eels still dragged her to their destination.

Floyd laughed, “Little shrimp fighting for her life when she’s already lost~” He shot Jade a look and his twin immediately knew what he wanted to do. They lifted her from the ground and began swaying side to side.

“What the hell?! Let me down, let me go! I’ve had enough of you! We’ve helped Azul more than enough already!” [Name] and Grim were left to flair and yell more protests while the twins chuckled and laughed at their predicament.

Eventually, they arrived at Octavinelle and the two-halves-of-a-whole students were plopped down onto the couch inside Azul’s V.I.P. office. The tweels left them with those sinister pointy teethed smiles of theirs, sending chills down the duo’s spines.

“Now now, [Name]-san, Grim-san, do keep your voice down. I’ve got a deal much better than our last offer. Hear me out, now would you?” Azul spoke, suave and sleazy as ever.

“No, cut it out already! Just accept I won’t-!” Her complaints were interrupted by the octomer’s firm statement.

“One meal!” After noticing he had their attention, the dorm leader continued, “One free meal for the two of you each day, along with some Madol… All for [Name]-san’s intimidation services and Grim-san cleaning dishes.”

“Make it TWO meals and it’s a deal!” Grim quickfired.

“NO! No, no!” The [color] eyed refuted. She leaned close to Ashengrotto over the desk, eyes narrow and eyebrows furrowed, “...Make it two free meals AND drinks daily, with a nice pay… and throw in some deluxe tuna cans from time to time…”

Grim perked up at that, eyes shifting from human to merman as they stared each other down to see who relented first.

Azul sighed, “Very well…” A gloved hand came forward, “Have we got a deal?”

[Eye color] looked into baby blue, before nodding and shaking his hand. “A deal it is, but” [Name] leaned even closer, right on the gray haired’s face, “Let it be known that just you fail once on giving the pay and it’s over, Ashengrotto.”

He snorted, “Oh, no need to worry about that, I always hold onto my end of the contract.” Taunting gaze mocked the [hair color], “The thing is, can you?”

“This damn Octavinelle people..!” [Name] felt fire light up her veins from anger and irritation at his words.

Scarabia

“Grim, look! We once more have a delicious cream cheese for you to enjoy with crackers!” The ever excitable Kalim exclaimed, reading a pair of crackers to feed Grim.

Before his hand could get any close to the scared cat’s face, [skin tone] hads grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Kalim, how many more times do I have to tell you?! Stop that!” An exasperated sigh followed her words. She let go of his arm.

Kalim (and pretty much all of Scarabia) looked at her. “No, not those big round cute ruby eyes…” The girl thought, feeling herself relent already. “Only for you… only for this ray of sunshine will I try to be less on the fence…”

[Name] cleared her throat, “W-Why don’t you… try asking Grim properly if he would like some first, instead of just shoving the food in his mouth!” An awkward giggle left her lips. “Was that better?! That did not sound better, at all! No!! It was harsh!” 

Silence carried on afterwards, making her feel even more awkward and nervous of her actions. There’s a first time for everything.

“She’s right on that. You understand, don’t you, Kalim?” Jamil broke the silence, turning everyone’s eyes to him now. “As host, you should offer your visits amenities correctly, not force them upon them.” The dark haired boy remained focused on his plate of curry while he informed his dormmate.

“Oh! Of course, of course!” The dorm leader snapped out of his zoning out, “Apologies! Grim, would you like to try the cream cheese?” Kalim recovered his pep, bringing close the plate of cheese and crackers to Grim.

“Ah… No, thank you…” The monster declined. “However… I would like to try the dates you have over there.”

“Sure, no worries! Try as much food as you like! This banquet is for everyone to enjoy, after all!” Just like that, everyone’s spirits were lifted, and the party returned to its full swing.

From across the table, Jamil threw the [hair color] a smirk and a nod. She looked away with a faint blush on her cheeks.

Pomefiore

“She dares show her face here, dressed like that?”

“And with a stinky, dirty raccoon hanging from her shoulder.”

“As always, these pretentious idiots…” [Name] tried to steel herself, taking deep breaths as she carried on towards the Pomefiore common room. Vil asked for her presence here for some idea he had in mind and wanted to carry on.

“Fuh-nyah, this place always smells like perfume… Has me sneezing all over, eugh.” Grim rubbed his nose to ease the itching.

The girl giggled lightly, petting her companion. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the smell in a few seconds.”

“Ah, Trickster [Name], Monsieur Hirsute! Bienvenue à Pomefiore!” Rook welcomed them, as colorful as ever.

“[N-Name]? You’ve been… summoned here, as well?” Epel seemed surprised to see his friends here.

Vil stood up from the throne, “And just in time you’re both here. Could’ve done with a few extra minutes of head start, but at least you’re here and didn't arrive late.” The elegant 3rd year went over to explain his idea to the 1st years.

However, as the dorm head explained, the comments continued…

“Seriously, can’t she take the hint she’s not wanted here?”

“As a girl, she should know to take better care for herself.”

“Alright that’s it.” The Ramshackle prefect took a very deep breath and interrupted Vil, “Yeah, uh, apologies for cutting you off, but let me take care of some matters.” Turning around, the [color] haired looked over at the group that kept saying unasked opinions.

“Hey, you pompous people with deliriums of grandiose!” At the start of her screaming, Vil and Rook braced for the worse while Epel drew a very big smirk.

Everyone kept their dignified faces, sure that their dorm leader and vice head would have their backs.

“I dress bad? I don’t take care of my skin, nails, lips, hair? Grim isn’t always smelling nice?”

“Hey! What with that, [Name]?!”  “Shush, you…”

“Just because I’m a girl you dare assume what I should act like?!” She scoffed, “Well, let me see you survive in a world far different than your own, disoriented and with no means to go back, live on a tight budget along with your equally as disoriented monster friend, with the only clothes you own being very mistreated and old uniforms students left in a rundown dorm!”

Everyone looked at her and murmured.

One of the students spoke up, practically laughing at her face, “What? Want us to feel pity for you? Sounds to me like you’re not trying hard enough.”

Grim himself was ready to burn this scum to a crisp, but thankfully, someone else stepped in to defend their friends.

“Oh? Like you’ve clearly not been doing?” Vil glared at the boy harshly. “Don’t think just because you’re good looking you have an immediate pass to be a student of Pomefiore, of NRC. Your grades are lacking, and for someone in this dorm to be that terrible in alchemy is ruinous. Seriously, an F in potion making? You strive to be as resourceful and tenacious as the Beautiful Queen by not being able to brew even a simple potion?”

The mob cowered back, shocked at their dorm head speaking that way to them.

“Doesn’t feel good to have yer flaws n’ failures spoken of, eh?” Epel yelled from a few miles back. He could see Schoenheit stiffen at the use of his distinct accent, but the farmer boy could care less in this moment… and so did Vil.

Rook stepped over with a friendly smile, placing a hand on the student's shoulder and on Vil’s. “Please rest the case, lest we want our hearts and faces wrinkle up from anger and stress.” The hunter squeezed the boy’s shoulder, applying pressure on one of the nerves to get the message across. In case that was not enough, narrow green eyes spared him a side glance full of ill-intent, “Any more comments like that, and your heart will be carved out of your rib cage and go in a jewelry chest to display as a trophy.” Was his message.

“Y-Yes, Rook-senpai!” The mob immediately answered and made their way out to somewhere else.

The actor rubbed the bridge of his nose at the scene, “I apologize on behalf of my dorm, those types of comments are absolutely not tolerated, but there seem to be more potatoes to wrangle than what I imagined.” He sighed, “But anyways! Let us continue with our original plans. [Name], Grim, Epel, follow me. We shall start with having you all take a nice bath and do proper skincare...and furcare, I suppose.”

“Oh, I would very much like some hypermosturizing serums and a bathbomb or oils to help destress, please!” The [hair color] said.

Vil chuckled a bit, “After that, you need all the lavender oils in the water.”

“Wait, does that mean…?!” Epel became unsettled and looked at Grim.

The monster finished the lilac haired boy’s thought, “We’re gonna end up smelling like a potpourri or somethin’?!”

Rook came behind them, pushing them lightly forward to walk in the other two’s direction. “Come now, moniseurs! Bath time is a great time to spend relaxing and planning your activities for the day!” 

The rowdy duo only groaned at his words.

Ignihyde

“Oh, [Name] [Surname]-san, that was an amazing play!” Ortho congratulated while spectating the game going on between you and his brother.

The girl chuckled, “Thanks, Ortho… Did that specifically to show your brother not to underestimate a magicless human’s abilities in games such as this.” Sizzling could be heard coming from the older Shroud as he silently fumed, but his flaming hair betrayed his silence.

“That’s right, get mad and lose your temper. It’ll be easier to defeat you like that… defeat you once more.” [Color] lips turned into a mocking smile. “Talk shit, get hit, bruh!”

Idia desperately played his following moves, a supposed combo to take you down considerably. “I don’t believe you’ll keep that smile in your face for long.”

She chuckled, ominously now, “Ohoho, I believe I will be keeping this smile… and victory with me~!” The 1st year kept laughing as she played her last strategy, leading to his defeat for the 6th? 10th? time today.

The dorm head took a deep breath before he could yell his frustration out, hair turning a shade of dull red, telling the other occupants of the room of his temper.

“How’s that for underestimating the skills of a human, Idia? Tired or eating your dirt yet or not? Told ya this would only lead to absolute defeat-!” Before [Surname] could boast some more, Idia stood up and dropped himself on his bed, back turned to them all.

The robot boy floated over to the enraged 3rd year. “Big brother? Your vitals are erratic, heartbeat is quick and body temperature is on the raise. Would you like some help relaxing?”

“I believe it’s better to let him be, Ortho.” The girl reassured. “Wanna play a game with me? See if you can beat me?” She suggested.

The android quickly cheered up, “I would love to!”

- Few minutes later -

[Color] eyes stared at victorious play.

5 times… It had only been 30 minutes and already 5 times… She was beaten by the younger Shroud 5 times already!

Ortho smiles at her (or at least she assumed, with him keeping his mouth coveron). “This is entertaining, [Name] [Surname]-san! Can we play one more time?” Those innocent yellow eyes looked up at her tired, irritated ones.

“I- uuuh… S-Sure, Ortho..!” A strained smile stretched her lips.

Idia sat down somewhere near, teasing pointy smile on his face now. “How does it feel, [Surname]?”

“Shut the hell up, Shroud, you’re no one to speak like that.” The girl whispered through gritted teeth.

Diasomia

Blah, blah, blah… chatter, chatter, chatter…Loud booming voice annoying everyone around.

“Alright, damn it all!” [Name] slammed her hand on the table. “For the love of all that's holy, shut the hell up, Sebek!!”

Everyone was stunned for a moment at the outburst, Silver jumped awake at the shouting.

Sebek looked at her with the most indignant look, “Excuse you?! That is something extremely rude to say! Even more so because you interrupted my conversation with the Young Master!”

“What do you even mean?! You interrupted my conversation with Malleus in an even more impolite way first!” She reminded her fellow 1st year.

Zigvolt scoffed, “Only because you don’t possibly have anything of interest to speak with Master Malleus.”

“Sebek I swear to god!”

“Silence, human! Stop pestering us!”

“You are the one doing the pestering here!”

And just like that, both students began bickering.

Silver looked at Lilia, “Don’t you think we should do something about this?”

The old fae sighed into his tea cup, placing it back down before taking a sip. “We absolutely must, Sebek’s voice was already inflicting a headache, now we have... that…” Red eyes looked at the brash underclassmen arguing.

Malleus, meanwhile, rubbed his temples at their antics.

“Children, stop it now or else-” Vanrouge noticed how his words were going unnoticed, so he decided to raise his voice some. “Children-” More shouting, silencing his call for attention.

“Children!” Lilia’s voice boomed around the room, along with the stomping of his heel on the stone floor. The surround sound effectively made the misbehaving students shut up.

“Thank you.” He said with a closed eyes smile, “Now, to settle your senseless screaming, why don’t we try asking Malleus himself what he believes happened, hm?” The bat suggested, turning to look into lime eyes to urge his master to speak up.

“Oh..! Hmm… Well… It is true Sebek interrupted the conversation I was having with the child of man,” [Name] looked at her friend with an I-told-you-so smile, “And I disagree with him, [Surname] was telling me very interesting things about her life and experiences in this Wonderland.” That made the girl stand even prouder.

“However,” The pistachio haired male looked at his superior with hope in his eyes, “I agree with his comment on how interrupting conversations the way [Surname] did is very rude.” Now it was his turn to boast a little. “But let’s not forget he interrupted us first, and therefore is rude himself.” Sebek deflated at that.

Lilia clapped his hands with a bright smile, “Problem solved! Now,” The fae looked at the tall 1st year, “Sebek, dear, [Name] is our guest today, treat her with respect. She is Malleus’ specially invited guest, let her spend her time occupying our leader’s time as she pleases. He invited her for that reason, after all.”

“U-Understood, Lilia-sama…” Zigvolt agreed against his will.

“Thank you, Lilia!” [Name] thanked at the same time Sebek spoke.

“Very well, let us enjoy our tea time in peace now.” Finally, the youthful soul sat down and picked up his cup to take a much needed sip of the amber liquid. “Young ones these days, I swear...”

NRC Staff

Shouting and yelling resounded around the meeting hall, leading Mozus to rub the bridge of his nose to try and ease the oncoming headache.

“Hello-!” Vargas was cut off.

“Not now, Professor Vargas, I need to knock some sense into this crow!” The 1st year yelled at the muscular P.E. teacher.

He sat down near Trein with a sigh, “They’re at it again this week?”

“Yes, they are…” The old man grunted.

“Been at it for 20 minutes now, can’t believe it.” Crewel tapped his finger on the wooden table in irritation, “Headmaster Crowley should already relent and give her more allowance if it means we can get our meetings done!”

“Absolutely not,” Trein disagreed, “[Surname] should learn to handle her finances better, budget things appropriately and spend the least on useless things.”

Crewel let out a single mocking laugh, “Really now? Have you heard what biweekly amount of money he gives her?! It’s not even enough to buy a steady supply of meals from the shop for a week!”

Soon enough, the two teachers joined their respective sides in the battle of Crowley vs. [Name], while Vargas watched with the most uncomfortable look.

And, after a good more minutes of shouting, the last call was given…

“You know what?! I’m done!!” The [color] haired girl made her way to the exit, “It’s always “Because I am so kind” blah blah blah! But you never do anything to help me!” She made a bad impression of the Director on purpose.

“It’s not only me in the dorm, it’s also Grim! And he’s a sizable cat, he needs to eat properly and plenty, too!” She turned around before leaving, “Seriously, Headmaster, I don’t know anymore how to scream at you that we need help! We’re sleeping on dirt every night, we’re breathing mold and dust everyday inside the rundown dorm! We need food and clothes and bedsheets and hygiene products!”

[Name] had to take a deep breath before saying her last words, “If you’re not going to help me search for a way back home, then… at least help me make that crumbling building feel like home…” With that, the heavy door shut close.

The young girl quickly made her way out of the building, trying her best to keep her emotions at bay and not let them overflow. Out of habit, or maybe it was her consciousness trying to search for comfort, her feet carried her to Mr.S’s Mystery Shop.

The simple ringing of the bell signaling a new customer already made her feel better.

“Welcome, little devil! What can I help you with today?” Sam greeted with his typical energy.

The [hair color] sighed in relief, making her way to the counter. “Hello, Sam.”

“Aaah, another fruitless fight with the Headmaster?” The shopkeep inquired, identifying that tired tone in her voice.

“Indeed…” She let head lay upon her crossed arms as the rest of her body leaned on the counter. “I ask myself why I even keep trying it, nothing will ever change…”

A shadow friend pat her head to try and comfort her.

“Because you’re perseverant and a fighter, and wish to have a school life as nice as the one your friends in established dorms live. It’s not an unjustified fight.” The mysterious clerk said, full confidence in his words.

“You believe so?” Curious [color] eyes looked at his moving figure.

“Of course! Everyone else has a nice room to sleep in, why shouldn’t you? Besides, the Headmaster decided to take you in, a responsibility he can’t ignore.” He placed a small mug in front of your head, “Go ahead, take a drink, it’ll help you in more ways than you can think of.”

Carefully unwinding from her position, a hand took the mug and brought it under her nose. One sniff and the girl could tell this was [fav. drink]. “Sam, I’m-! How did- How did you know this is my favorite?!” A pleasant surprise that brought a smile to her lips.

“You always buy it, guess you must really like it.” Magenta eyes watched as she took a sip, “Comfort food and drinks are perfect after an upsetting experience.”

[Name] threw him a tender smile, “Thank you, Sam. All you do for me and Grim is very appreciated… Don’t think I don’t notice those special discounts.”

All he did was wink at her as he turned to welcome a new customer.

Royal Sword Academy

Helping put up a stage was not an easy task. Could anyone really blame her for being so mad at everyone who got in her way after being overworked like that?

Who knows how many times she yelled at people to hurry up and move away from her path already.

And it just so happened a playful cat decided to scare the soul out of the 1st year at the worst moment, just as she was trying to take a short power nap.

“Found mew (pronounce it as m-you-w pls)!” A floating head and apparently dismembered arms appeared before [Name], hands falling on her shoulders.

She screamed bloody hell at the boy, “WHAT THE F-CK, CHE’NYA?!?!” A coughing fit followed due to the sudden loud yelp, “That was,” Cough, “My heart I just spat out!”

Meanwhile, the RSA student laughed his head off at the startled girl.

It irritated her, “And what do you think you’re doing laughing like that?! I could’ve tore a vocal cord or actually have a heart attack, you dumb cat!”

Oh… Never in his life had he been called that, at least not that he remembered.

They remained in silence for a while. 

Eventually, Alchemi giggled once more “Aha~, nice to see you’re mad too! Told nya it was the norm here~”

The [hair color] nodded in mock agreement, “Yeah, can finally see all of you are damn BONKERS!”

~°~  ~°~

This boy… what is his problem?! Suddenly approaching a stranger all smiles and good vibes? [Name] knew this was a twisted world, but this was plain creepy…

So, of course, the fight or flight instinct kicked off.

Yanking her hands out of his hold, [color] orbs sharpened to the meanest glare she could muster right then and there. “What do you think you’re doing? I am not a princess, and I definitely am not your princess! That’s way too creepy to tell someone you’ve just crossed eyes with.”

A multitude of gasps was heard. “Ah, that’s right, he has tiny friends with him…” [Name] could only inwardly sigh and groan.

Neige himself gasped too, what a rude person!

A little giggle was heard, “That’s exactly what I wanted to tell him.” Grant whispered, amused by the whole scene.

“Alright, okay, uh… Gotta go now. Pleasure, or not, to meet you. Goodbye.” The NRC student walked past the strange students. “And I thought there was nothing crazier than NRC… B O I   was I wrong…”

The dwarves looked at their stunned friend. 

Dominic tugged at his pant leg, “Neige, are you alright? Just let her be, I’m sure she reacted like that due to being cautious about strangers.”

“Yes, I’m fine…But,” Round chocolate eyes remained on her retreating form, “Nothing has ever stopped me from befriending even the grumpiest of people! Or has it, Grant?” The brunet smiled at his friend.

“I suppose not- Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” The redhead complained while the rest laughed merrily alongside LeBlanche.

-- -- --

THE MADWOMAN DID IT OMGGGGGGG MY EEEEEEYES ASDFGHIMKLF

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY!!! What other way than to celebrate with LOOONG request including most, if not all, of the Twst characters!!

LET US SHARE MANY MORE MEMORIES TOGETHER!! CHEERS TO US ALL!!!

(P.S. OMG if you see shifting between fem pronouns, they/them pronouns and "you" stuff... PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! My brain got a bit confused in a part! Hopefully I corrected it all)

[not-enough-teeth-and-treasures]

An Autistic’s Perspective on Tears of Themis’ Representation (spoiler alert: it’s bad)

Before you read, I should warn you that there will be spoilers for Chapter Five! Read at your own risk. Also, trigger warning for discussions of ableism and harmful disablility stereotypes. I get pretty heated as well, so if you’re not a fan of swearing and stuff, then it might be best to skip this.

So, I was debating whether or not I wanted to talk about this, mostly because this game doesn’t do anything new in regards to the perception of autism in media. Unfortunately, it ends up leaning into a lot of not great tropes and goes into “what the fuck that’s incredibly offensive territory” waaay to quickly. So here I am.

The most prevelant character with autism (or who we start out thinking has autism. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that) is a small, supergenius child (a boy as well *sigh*) is so overdone at this point that there aren’t many new criticisms I can say. The stereotype of autism presented in media is overwhelmingly extremely intelligent (usually with sciency or math based interests) men with no ability to socialize or be kind to others. This not only paints autism as a disability that effects men primarily (which creates intense stigma around AFAB autistic people and makes it harder for us to get diagnosed or believed), but also creates this expectation of greatness. Autistic people are often held to superhuman standards, which further others and dehumanizes us in the eyes of allistic people. The vast majority of autistic people are not savants, and that it perfectly fine.

But all of this is pretty standard. The red flags started popping up when it was revealed that the autistic kid, Hugh, doesn’t actually have autism and is faking it in order to keep people from asking hard questions about him or trying to pry into his life (which is full of secrets). I’m definitely not a fan of perpetuating the idea that people fake diabilities in order to manipulate people, so this plot twist was not my favorite. However, it wasn’t really enough to inspire me to write a whole ass essay about the representation. And then I got to the fucking text conversation with Vyn.

Here is where I’m gonna put a trigger warning for talk about eugenics, curing autism, ableism, and basically just a fuck ton of awful shit. Fuck, this makes me so mad.

So, I went in and took screenshots of both options just to see, and all of them lead to terrible bullshit. Lets start out pretty light with the MC and Vyn discussing symptoms.

This is a pretty limited and honestly incomplete explanation of autistic behaviors. These can definitely be symptoms, but they’re heavily overcovered and really basic. A lot of autistic people don’t have these symptoms, and it would be really nice if more media branched out and covered more of the spectrum. However, considering they don’t do anything different in any other areas, I’m not surprised.

Also not a fan of Vyn’s use of “abnormal.” It has some very negative connotations and is a bit insulting, honestly. These behaviors are perfectly “normal;” they’re just not as accepted by neurotypical people. Plus, no behaviors can really be labeled as normal because humans are complex and different.

That was the easy shit. Let’s get into the truly awful garbage.

This is treading into ABA territory here. For those of you who are unaware, ABA is pushed as the best autistic therapy, but a large majority of autistic adults consider it to be abusive and unhelpful. This is mainly because it seeks to “correct” many behaviors that are helpful for autistic people. It seeks to surpress stims (which are behaviors that improve the mental health of autistic children), force us to talk (as opposed to letting us use sign language and technology), and more. This harms our mental health and makes us ashamed of who we are. These behaviors do not need to be “corrected.” We don’t need to act “normally.” All this therapy does is make us more palitable for neurotypical people, and it’s bullshit.

It also doesn’t help that ABA was pioneered by Ivar Lovaas, a man who did not believe autistic people were human. He developed ABA as a way to “build a person” using harsh punishments such as withholding affection and ELECTRIC SHOCKS. If you think this is a think of the past, you’d be wrong. Electric shocks are still being used to harm disabled people. Look up the hashtag #StopTheShock to learn more and help push for legislation that bans this practice.

Oh, and did I mention Ivar Lovaas also inspired gay conversion therapy? Because he did! So yeah, fuck ABA and fuck Vyn for performing it (god damn it, Vyn, I liked you a lot).

And now, onto the eugenics. Fuck my life.

FUCK! THIS! BULLSHIT!

I am so tired of autism being treated as this horrific disease that needs a cure. I had a perfectly fine childhood. Yes, it was hard at times, yes I got traumatized, but a large part of that was due to ableism and abuse from teachers and peers. A large reason why autistic people suffer is because the world is not built for us, and we are often denied accommodations that would make our lives better.

It is beyond offensive and disgusting to suggest that we would be better off not existing than “suffering so much” because of autism. Because that is what this game and everyone else who thinks there should be a cure is suggesting. There is no me without autism. it literally affects my brain structure. You are wishing for a completely different person when you tell me that autism should be cured.

Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible consent issues that arise from talks about a cure, including genetic editing, fear mongering to parents so they think abortion is the only option, and straight up Nazi style eugenics. I do not have the spoons to delve into that exhausting discussion. But if you want to know more, then there are so many incredible autistic people who have written blogs, Twitter threads, and more about why a cure is a terrible idea.

Oh, and if you’re going to come at me with the “severely autistic people should be cured” bullshit, don’t bother. There is no such thing as “severe” autism, first of all, and second, non verbal autistic people (which are who people think of when they talk about “severe” autism), largely don’t want a cure. There have been so many surveys of tens of thousands of autistic people, and the result is that the overwhelming majority do not want to be cured. We want support and proper accommodations. Listen to us.

So, in conclusion, fuck this text conversation and it’s ableist and offensive bullshit. I really wish ToT had stayed away from autism, or at the very least did not touch on therapy or a possible cure. For a game that is about genetic experimentation on children and how bad that is, it sure peddles a lot of eugenics.

Fuck, this text conversation actually made me ill and I hate that. I’m so done with constantly trying to prove to the world that I am a human being who deserves to exist. I’m gonna go cuddle my service dog now.

[marigold-doms]

Could I request an ATEEZ one? How would they react (as doms) when y/n disobeys/is a bad girl? Thank you so much!

A/n: I’ve never done reactions before but... there’s always a first! I ALSO went ahead and added what type of dom I think Ateez would be.... guys, I had a liiiiiittle toO much fun with this.... I apologize in advance if some members aren’t that elaborated. You guys can always request for more... [PLZ. Plz REQUEST MORE LIKE THIS i had fun:)]

(Know that these are based off of the interpretation and personal opinions that I have of the members)

||ATEEZ Reacts|| to their S/O being a bad girl

Hongjoong:

Manipulative/sadistic!dom

When you’re a bad gorRL... Hongjoong is def not the type to say anything about your behavior out loud. You’ll just know.

By the look he gives you. The way he reacts to you. Even the way his hand goes to grab at your side when your in public.

He just has his subtle ways of reminding you that you’re crossing the line.

He’s traditional. 3 strikes and you’re out. Meaning if you refuse to listen to his warnings the first three times. You better pray that when you finally arrive home the he’ll be too tried to actually punish your dumbass.

In which-he never fails to do.

You know how he threatens the members by telling them “come to my room after this.”?

Girl don’t be surprised when he lowers his lips against your ear to whisper “I better find your disobedient ass in my room after they leave.” Literally as the members hang out and have a good ol time in your apartment.

He doesn’t like repeating himself and when he punishes you he definitely makes it a point to make sure your know what your did wrong.

Hongjoong is the type not only to make you count as he spanks you but he’s the type to make you say “I’m sorry daddy for *insert terrible sin*.” After every hit.

His smirk grows wider from the increasing amount of tears that flow from your eyes. (Kinky mans)

I personally love a sadistic dom lol besides the point

He probably likes when you tell him that it hurts.

“Good. I want you to hurt, sweetheart.”

“Daddy can’t hear you. Moan louder for me.”

The type to tease you and when you least expect it, enTeR you. nO prep. LIKE DAMN.

Questions you. “Such a bad girl... I didn’t even touch you.” Hongjoong sharply rotates his hips against your dripping core. Filling your walls as he stuffs himself to the hilt. “who told you to get this wet for me?

No one asked but ...he’d eat it out after fucking all of his cum into you.... okeiii NEXT-

Seonghwa:

HARD!dom

I wouldn’t want to cross daddy Seonghwa if i were you.

Not only is he sadistic boy number 1 here, he’s also a power bottom.

You can be one of two types of a bad girl.

One: a helpless submissive with absolutely NO dominate tendencies in her what so ever or TWO: the sub where BRAT is literally her first, middle, and last name.

Too bad for the both of you- Seonghwa has a solution (read:punishment) for both

“Fine.” His intense eyes glare at you as he finally stops holding your wrists above your head. “Since you want to be like this, Get on top of me.”

You: 👁👄👁huh?

You’ll either be shocked or jump at the opportunity to take the small ounce of control that he’s letting you have.

Whatever you choose, He uses this to his advantage. Once you’ve settled yourself on top of him and he’s fully inside of you, he makes sure that he has your full attention before devastatingly telling you “You better not slow down or I’m. Not. Fucking. You.”

Yunho:

SOFT!dom🥺....😳

In the most disappointed voice, “Baby, what did I tell you about not listening to me?”

His form of punishment.... NO. TOUCHING. AT. ALL.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a soft boy...buT THAT DON’T MEAN HE AINT KINKY. (Kinky... but make it PRETTY)

He’ll tie you up with cute little silk ties and make sure your legs are parted as he settles in between.

Baby. Get ready for sum sensory overload because this boy LOVEs to tease you.

Those slow...soft, gentle kisses and strokes to the inner parts of your thighs. All leading up to your leaking-DESPERATE core.

-only to go RIGHT back up to your shaking knees.

30 minutes to a whole hOUr. He will keep your toes curling from the LACK of “center” attention.

Your panties completely soaked through and the most he’s done is breathe over your aching folds.

It wrecks him just as much as he wrecks you.

DONT GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN’S SIZE kINK. (Thank you giant line for giving atinys size kinks)

You wont even have to trigger him for this. As soon as his hand goes to cup over your tiny core. He groANs.

“...You’re so fragile and tiny, princess...” His hands travel over your goosebumped navel. “My cock would break this tiny, innocent body of yours...”

He LIVES for the reaction that your innocence has from his dirty talk (is that a corruption kink I see👀??) that crimson flush that your face has or the way your eyes tear up. He just UGH! He almost wants to give you something you don’t deserve.

“But... only good girls deserve daddy’s dick.”

You plead to him that you’re a good girl and it’s just MUSIC to his ears. But he likes to play with his food before he devours it.

“Maybe I shouldn’t make love to you, baby... You couldn’t possibly take all of me.”

[IM SHUDDERING GUYS I WANT HIM TO BREAk-]

Anyways.

He just wants to see all the disobedience and brattiness leave your body before he finally fills your needy cunt with his warm cum😳

Yeosang:

Rigger!dom (lowkey a cocky shit too. I see him tying his sub up and teasing her like that)

“I don’t care. Ass up, face down.” The vibrator buzzes through your body as he forcefully presses it against your unexpectant clit.

Our precious dom Yeosang here loves to admire how much of a mess your body can make with barely lifting a finger over you.

It’s the opposite and he doesn’t even make contact with your skin.

You decided to act up and you also decided to test his limits by questioning his authority over you.

Granted he doesn’t use toys often but thats why it’s called a punishment.

You don’t get what you want.

Yeosang knows that what you really want is the rock hard dick throbbing inside of his pants.

He gets “mad” at the mess you make from cummming. “That’s all, baby? You can cum from this useless little toy?”

Yeosang lowers his face to level with yours as your high spirals. Making sure to flash you a contradicting smile. “Guess you don’t need my dick then.”

He ties you up, cuffs you, latches you-honestly you can pick— and make sure that you are completely unable to move.

Bitch. He’ll masterbate in front of you and force you to watch him please himself.

“You had your fill, Doll.”

With your arms above your head and legs spread for him to bask in the pool leaking out of your wetness, he’d bring himself closer and closer to the edge. Until finally coming over to you, getting between your legs...and releasing his cum all over your deprived body.

You’d whine and try to twist out of your restraints, feeling totally wronged.

Not to worry tho. Yeosang loves punishing you, just not as much as he loves fucking his cum into you.

“I think my bad little girl’s had enough.” Spreading his cum over your stomach.

“You deserve a good fuck.”

San:

EVIL!dom

He LOVES when you’re bad.

It gives him a reason to punish you and release the sadistic beast inside of him.

Degrading, dirty talk, overstimulation, spanking, face slapping, teasing....

I could go on but i wanna save the suspense for when you talk back to him-

He’ll chuckle. “So you think it’s funny?” San seems like the type to grab your hair to get your attention so he’d hold your hair in his hands as he forces you to look at him. “We’ll see how funny it is when my dick is fucking into your delinquent little mouth, princess.”

Contrasting stimulus

-and what i mean by that is:

He’ll be pounding into you ruthlessly while whispering so gently into you ear like “look how pretty my girl looks with my dick filling you up...aww baby, you look absolutely adorable...”

LIAHSIFUKGSIFLYAGf-I’m fine

Orders you do do things that are basically impossible. Fully aware that you’ll never be able to obey even if you wanted to.

“You better not cum all over my cock with your filthy little pussy.”

....obviously, you cum around his dick and he takes your face into his hands and slaps you for disobeying as he keeps rutting himself into you.

“Aww...” Watches your eyes tear up from the overstimulation. “My pretty toy can’t take what daddy gives her....”

He stops momentarily to shower your tear-stained face with kisses-

“Too bad my bad baby... “ His hips begin to rock into you with a vice. A devilish smile spreading across his face as he sees the mess he’s making of you. “ You’re giving me another one.”

UUUPMH

Mingi:

Cocky!dom

This tall punk loves knowing that he’s the one messing you up.

Add the size kink and there you go!

He’s talking all kinds of “damn babygirl, look how fucked out you are because of me.” Or “I am I too much to handle that you’re near tears?”

borderline degrading but with a tasteful amount of self praise that lowkey gets him more hot than you actually telling him that.

What a Leo.

AnYWAYS

When you’re being bad.... Mingi is not his name.

You call him one of two things.

“Master” and/or “Sir”

He does not answer you unless you call him either of those things.

“I think my pretty little fucktoy forgot how to address her superior....”

I have a feeling that there will be a lot of orgasm denial

He’ll draw you deliciously to the edge at LEAST 3 times before he’ll even consider letting you cum.

He won’t be satisfied until he thinks you’ve had enough.

Which is-trust me- probably too much for your body to handle but hey-

YOU DECIDED TO PISS HIM OFF SO WHOS FAULT IS THAT?

—but also... rag doll y/n??? Anyone??? No?? just me?👁👄👁ok—

-more over

He might have slight sadistic tendencies but it’s more for pleasure than it is for actually inflicting pain unto you.

He’s a little soft in that aspect because he would hate to think that he’s harming his lovely baby

Mingi basically wants you putty in his hands

Once you’ve finished playing the back and forth between who’s truly in charge, it’s basically a battle of who can make the other more of a mess.

I genuinely think that dom Mingi is the type to start out punishing you but by the time he’s lost in the pleasure of it all, he loses it and completely showers you orgasm after orgasm.

Talk about making a punishment into a fun-ishment.

Wooyoung:

Degrading!dom🥵 (evil dom pt2)

Oh my goodness help me- this is about to be spicy... he WRECKS me in ways that I truly want him to

He wants you to know that you’re a bad girl.

Acting up? “You dumb slut.” Grabs a fist full of your hair.

Talking back? “Say that again, my cute little whore.”

Turning him on during the most inappropriate time? “I can’t wait to get home and fuck you into submission.”

DELICIOUS DIRTY TALK i will say at the very least.

Not that Wooyoung is sadistic but he likes seeing you in sexual pain.

He’ll make fun of how much your body loves his fingers, dick, tongue—as you should.

“Fuck. Look at your pussy drooling from just one of my fingers, you dirty slut.”

Teases how you moan and stutter

“Huh, baby?” He leans in as he fucks into you. “What? “D-daddy-please I can-I cant” what? You can’t what, princess??” He practically laughs at you for being so delirious and fucked.

I feel like Ateez doms just love a good stream of tears rolling down their sub’s faces. Whether it be from overstimulation, pain, or pleasure. They just sadistic like that.

Soo that being said. “Cry for me baby. Come on babygirl, cry for me. Show daddy how fucking good he punishes you.”

Jongho:

Brattamer!dom

He’s definitely into power play.

The type of play where you test his limits and when you think you’re winning-bUt the game is sO rigged that you lose EVERY time.

STRONG boy.

Loves pinning you down to get your bratty ass still.

It excites him so much when you talk back to him.

Almost as if he expects you to be bad.

Get used to bending over.

He LOVES spanking you over his knees.

There’s something so visceral about his hand creating red marks on your pretty skin that makes his cock throb from how much you squirm and beg.

Not too much dirty talk is exchanged... rather... Master Jongho likes to act. He wants to SHOW you how bad you are.

From the marks on your ass to the hickies he leaves over your breasts.

POSSESSIVE. Even if you aren’t thinking of other guys, I have a feeling that he’d somehow punish you for even looking too good.

It’s the simple grope to your ass when no one is looking and the way his eyes pierce yours as if he’s a lion on the hunt, feasting his eyes on his helpless prey.

“Didn’t I tell you not to wear this out?”

You’re trained so well that for the rest of the night, you try to obey him.

YOu sEe... that’s not how things work when Jongho gets riled up.

As soon as the door closes and right when the lock clicks.

He’s forcing you to your knees and makes you apologize to him.

Either you listen or it’s your bare ass meeting his hand, belt, paddle, ruler...etc.....

Begging? That’s a HARD yes for jongho. It’s practically what fuels him into turning into more of a harddom.

The punishment is basically the ride up the top of the roller coaster. When he finally sticks it in?? GIRL expect to be sore for DAYS.

A/n: I hope you guys liked my first reaction!💕~ sorry if there are errors, I wrote this in a rush of excitement.

[lxveshotaro]

˗ˏˋ Riled Up ´ˎ˗

───────────────

⊱┊Jung Wooyoung X Choi San X Reader

⊱┊Bratty! Switch! Wooyoung, Sub! San, Dom! Reader, Handjob, Thigh Riding, Finger sucking, MxM

⊱┊Wooyoung convinces San to go against the rules, Y/N keeps their composure when they find out what the two boys have done. Wooyoung keeps trying to rile you up and San continues to be a good boy.

⊱┊I didn't proofread this cuz ew, also if it seems patchy or weird at all its because I kept revisiting this and being too lazy to read over it sgsks

───────────────

"No.. Y/N will find out." Wooyoung laughed at the other, shocked by his good behavior, "Since when were you so angelic? I know she'll find out, that's the fun part." San shook his head, turning away from the other boy again. "Come on San, just do it." Wooyoung was sat on the counter, legs crossed. He reached over and placed his hands on San's shoulders, pulling him over to him. He uncrossed his legs so that San could stand right in between his legs.

The younger boy ran his finger along the older boys jaw. San tried to look away, not wanting to be swayed but Wooyoung hooked a finger under his chin, lifting his gaze. A small smirk appeared on Wooyoung's lips as San looked up at him. "Don't hesitate, I know you want it." San nodded slightly but was at odds with himself, "Yeah but.. Y/N.." He laughed, "Y/N will be fine, let's worry about ourselves." San pouted slightly, "I'm gonna tell on you.." Wooyoung just nodded, already running through his excuses.

"Tongue." San parted his lips, slicking his tongue out slightly for Wooyoung. He licked it, sucking on it, playing a tiny game of tongue wars with each other. After a moment the two attached lips, making wet noises while kissing each other. San's hands unconsciously wandered the beautiful legs of Wooyoung, he felt how firm they were, his thoughts immediately wandered. He pulled away, his eyebrows bunched together harshly, "Wanna ride your th-thigh.." San looked down, still feeling a bit guilty. 

Wooyoung on the other hand pushed San back a bit, jumping down off the counter. He held the other boys hand and led him into the living room before taking a seat. "Come." Smiling victoriously, he placed his hands on San's waist, pulling the boy down onto his lap. San gazed at the time, just knowing they'd be caught at any moment. He whimpered as Wooyoung started to lick and kiss his neck, sucking hickeys into it. "Y-Y/N- will be h-here Woo.."

Wooyoung didn't stop, instead he placed his hands on San's hips, moving them back and forth for a moment as demonstration. Unconsciously, just wanting to please, he started to move his hips, his breath hitching quietly. "You're so good for me and Y/N.. You know that right?" San nodded, making eye contact with the disobedient boy in front of him.

You had finally gotten home, you unlocked the door knowingly, trying to be quiet. San heard the door, "W-wooyoung- wait y-y/n is ho-" Wooyoung cut him off with another kiss, the thought of you catching them was thrilling to him. You turned the corner, smiling when you saw the two of them there like that. You didn't get mad, instead you teased them, "You just can't be without me hm? San, so desperate, Woo, just wants to be punished, why can't you ever just ask nicely?" San wiggled off of Wooyoung's lap, coming over to you with his complaints.

"I was saying no but then Woo-" You nodded and smiled as you wrapped an arm around the boys slender waist, "Shhh. It's okay." The expression Wooyoung made caused you to laugh. "So you aren't mad?" Annoyance was evident on his face as you shook your head, instead finding it amusing. "I mean you'd do anything to piss me off, I'd imagined you'd have little San over here bent over some surface, let's see, maybe the kitchen counter, wanting him to beg for you as you hold his hands behind his back, am I right? Has it crossed your mind?" You made eye contact with each of them, San blushed at the description.

"You couldn't stop sending me filthy messages all day, I had no choice but to not respond. I saw every last one of them though, you're so so filthy Woo." Wooyoung hated how well you've gotten to know him over time. He rolled his eyes at you, not knowing how to retort. 

"I should fuck you so hard that you can't walk the next day, edge you, overstimulate you, all of it.. but we'll leave that for a day when i've got you all alone, just know that something is coming for you Woo." For now, you grabbed ahold of San's hand, moving him back over to Wooyoung. "Get off on his thigh, just like you were before I got here. But first." You moved towards Wooyoung, crouching down to unbutton his pants. "Of course you're hard too, little slut." He lifted to let you pull down his pants, sighing as you stroked him gently.

"Go ahead San." You stood up, watching as San's worried eyes wandered slightly. "Go on baby." He climbed onto Wooyoung's lap, adjusting himself. Wooyoung immediately rested his hands on San's hips. You just watched at first, seeing as the pleasure caused San to furrow his eyebrows. You took seat next to Wooyoung, he looked at you with a slight smile. 

"Hands to yourself Woo." He ignored you for a moment, you just stood there and waited. San grabbed his wrists and moved them off of him. "Y/N said not to.. I just wanna cum.." You laughed at him, he's being good for his own pleasure. The other boy rolled his eyes and just watched as San grinded harshly against his thigh, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You sat down next to Wooyoung, "Hands behind your back, I don't want to see them move." San slowed his movements, not needing to rush. 

He did it, not without talking back though, "What if I do move them?" You rolled your eyes at him. "Shut up Woo." You grabbed his face, squeezing his cheeks to part his lips before shoving your fingers deep into his mouth. He gasped, choking around your fingers slightly, a small smile forming on his face afterwards. You ignored him and pulled your wet fingers out of his mouth, rubbing them onto his hard member. You pumped him in your hand, listening to him whimper in your ear.

He's very vocal, San is more of a quiet breathy moaner. "Does it feel good San?" He nodded, his breath hitching as he continued to move at a slow pace. He always took his time with getting himself off, even if he was desperate. "Pick up your pace baby." He shook his head, hips stuttering, "W-wanna wait for Wooyoung." You nodded, sticking another finger in the bad boys mouth, "Hear that? Our precious boy wants to wait for you, should I let you cum?" He nodded his head quickly as he felt you pick up the pace of your strokes. 

"Faster San." He nodded, moans starting to mix with Wooyoungs. You leaned into Wooyoung's ear, speaking a bit quietly, "You can cum now but I'm gonna fuck you up later on." San placed his hands on Wooyoung's shoulders his climax threatening to come. "Can't- Can't hold it-" He whimpered and moaned as a wave of pleasure started to wash over him. "Go ahead San, Woo isn't far off." With that the knot in his stomach bursted, wetness started to form in his tight jeans, his dick twitching as he continued to come down from his high.

The focus was now on Wooyoung as you continued to pump him in your hand. "Can I?" San wrapped both hands around Wooyoung, moving at a fast pace. You cupped San's cheeks in your hands and pulled him into a kiss. You leaned back again after the quick kiss and watched as San focused on what he was doing. Wooyoung started to squirm around, his hips raising up off the couch slightly. He moved one of his arms from behind his back, grabbing onto your arm as he let out high pitched moans.

"Cum- c-an-" Before you can respond he shot white stripes of cum onto his lap and onto San's hands. "You just get so riled up sometimes Woo." You caressed his face as he came, breathing heavily. You pressed a soft kiss onto his cheek. "Come on, let's get you boys cleaned up."

[hyenahunt]

Jun Sazanami - Sub Story 2: Curse of the Bastard Child

Writer: Akira

Season: Summer (ES!)

Characters: Jun, Jin

Proofreading: hyenahunt

Translation: royalquintet

Jun: You’re telling me my dad got his life ruined by this useless drunkard with a 5 o’clock shadow who gets smashed at his workplace?!

[Location: Teacher's Room]

Jun: ‘Scuse me~

Huh… No one’s even here. That’s pretty careless, y’know~? No one to blame but yourselves if anything gets stolen, alright? You coulda locked the door~!

(Oh…? Wait, looks like someone’s wiped out on the sofa over there?)

Jin: ...Yaaawn. Who’re you? That’s not our school’s uniform.

Ah… Right, you’re probably one of the kids in that joint event we have with Reimei. Well, welcome. Got some business in the teacher’s office?

Jun: Ah-- Uh, yeah. I came to turn in some forms and stuff.

Jin: Ohhh, good work.

Sorry ‘bout that~ It’d be a lot easier if we could just do it digitally. But we still have some old-fashioned folks here, so we have to do every little thing by paper.

Jun: Nah, it’s fine. It’s not like this was a whole lot of trouble or anything. Just a few papers.

But I had a few things I wanted to ask about…

We talked about the school who invited us--Yumenosaki Academy--paying for the expenses up to a certain point, but...

Are you really gonna be okay~? That idiot in my unit spends money like water, so I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a huge cost to you guys. For real, you know?

Jin: I dunno, really. Our resident rich kid apparently has a hand in the budget, so we’re probably fine.

Go wild, if you want. I’d rather you kids have a good time since you dragged yourselves all the way over here.

Though it’s not really my place to say, since I’m not in charge of that Summer Live thing.

Wait here, I’ll get Akiyan-- Uh, the teacher who’s managing the plan for it.

Lessee… Huh? Where’d I put my phone again? Crap, I can’t remember anything after I opened my third bottle of sake.

Jun: ...You were drinking on school grounds? Uhh, you are a teacher here, right? Not just some bum who wandered in?

Jin: Ahh, it’d be pretty bad if the headmaster or some other higher-up found out about it, so keep it a secret, okay?

I thought my secret stash was gonna get found out, you see. I panicked and tried to drink it all but then I guess I blacked out.

Jun: Damn… I can’t even imagine that happening at Reimei.

I heard Yumenosaki went through a pretty rough patch, but seems like corruption runs rampant among the teachers, too, huh?

Jin: You know, you shouldn’t say that when there’s a teacher right in front of you…

It’s all good, though. They’ll overlook it as long as I’m not doing anything illegal.

Not like I’m demanding a favor from them, but I did earn a lot of money for Yumenosaki.

I just want ‘em to be more forgiving about my stupid behavior, to a certain extent.

Jun: …?

Jin: Ooh, there’s my phone. Hellooo, Akiyan? It’s me! Jin~

Yeah, there’s a kid from Reimei here… Can you deal with him?

Jun: Jin…? Wait, don’t tell me you’re…Jin Sagami?

You look real different, so I didn’t see it at first, but… Ah, now that I look-- You’re actually Super Idol Jin Sagami, aren’t you…?!

Jin: Huh? Are you my fan or something? I thought young‘uns these days don’t have a clue who I am.

Ahaha, you here for my signature? Nah, just kidding...♪

Jun: Goddamn! Who’d want your signature, you murderer…!

Jin: Eeek?! Wait, what’s going on? Why are you mad at me? It’s the terrible teens…!

Jun: Ugh, right, as if you’d know… You wouldn’t have the slightest recollection of all the rabble you crushed underfoot, would you.

My name’s Jun Sazanami, by the way. Ring any bells for you, Jin Sagami?

Jin: Wait… Unh, what? Sorry, my head’s still half-asleep…

Jun: …"Jun" sounds kinda like "Jin." Does that remind you of anything?

Jin: Huh? What do you mean?

Oh no… Crap, I don’t wanna deal with someone claiming to be my illegitimate child or something! I don’t know how to raise a kid!

Jun: Seriously, how long are you gonna play dumb… I’m pretty sure my father sent you a video around springtime this year?

Jin: What? Ahh, that thing! That cursed video!

It was pretty creepy, so I had it burned at the Hasumis’ temple, but I remember it had my saboteur-- I mean, my rival in it!

Right, his name was Sazanami! Wait, you said he was your dad… You’re his son?!

Urgh, I had a bad feeling about this and it was right on the mark… So, is that what you’re up to? Out to get your dad’s revenge or something?

You’re an era too late for that, though~ The law doesn’t allow for revenge, you know?

Jun: As if? My dad’s been pretty messed up for as long as I can remember…

Didn’t even treat me like a human, no love or anything.

I’m not gonna waste my life getting revenge for a bastard like that…

But of course I got curious, and from the videos I watched back then, I might’ve even kinda admired you just a little.

My dad was done in by such an incredible guy… I thought he might’ve been even satisfied with that.

So I’d accepted it and even felt kinda relieved. But now...

Ugh, fuck! God dammit, this is worst…

You’re telling me my dad got his life ruined by this useless drunkard with a 5 o’clock shadow who gets smashed at his workplace?!

Jin: No, um, but, I’m usually a bit better put together than this?

I mean, yeah, I felt sorry for your dad, but… I didn’t mean any harm. It’s just how things were back then.

Just go easy on me, okay?

And don’t say anything weird to the students, even by mistake… If you’re gonna have your revenge, have it with me.

I won’t complain even if it stings me. I earned it, anyway.

Jun: I said I’m not trying to get revenge. My dad may have raised me and sent me to Reimei for that purpose, but…

My dad’s my dad. I’m my own person.

Though if I take down your precious students… It’ll be like punishing the kids for their parents’ mistakes. Maybe it’d even make me feel a bit better?

My dad’s idol career ended in utter defeat…

But I can prove that when it comes to raising idols…he’ll outdo Jin Sagami anyday.

Haha. Ohiisan had to drag me to this Summer Live thing, but...I’m kinda looking forward to it now~

Jin: Mmgh… Well, it’s great that you’re excited about it, I guess.

But I do feel like the stage is no place to bring your thirst for revenge, or any other motives.

It was from giving into those kinds of scummy, dishonest thoughts that both me and your dad wound up losing our way.

Jun: ……

Jin: And besides. You act like it’ll be such a breeze to take them down, but our brats here are pretty talented themselves…

They may still be little babies without much experience, but don’t underestimate ‘em.

If you let your guard down, you’ll be the ones getting eaten up.

You don’t wanna repeat your dad’s failures either, right?

Jun: ...Thank you very much for the advice. I’ll really take it to heart, Jin Sagami.

✦✦✦✦✦

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[chat-noir-always-here]

Debunking “Adrien is perfect”

  To voice a rather non-Marinette-like opinion of Adrien: He’s not perfect. He’s never been perfect. He has, in fact, been riddled with flaws from the very beginning. Part of the reason Chat Noir gets hate is because he serves to exaggerate Adrien’s flaws and make them more obvious, destroying the perfectionism façade. And the sooner Marinette tosses the “I love the perfect Adrien” filter in the trash where it belongs, and starts actively recognizing and acknowledging his faults, the better off the endgame relationship will be.

 Long post is long and I don’t like cuts, cuz i’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” I use it for walls of texts like these. 

First of all, flaws are just one of the many things that happen when someone either learns something the wrong way, spends too much time in the wrong environment, lack any decent role models... really there are a plethora of causes. What i mean is character shortcomings aren’t necessarily reasons to hate the character themselves. They’re more or less internal obstacles put there to be overcome in order to portray character growth. Of course spending an exaggerated amount of time with these characters without seeing them overcome particular shortcomings is frustrating it does not necessarily mean they will never be redeemed or developed and are/were deserving of hate.

 Except for Gabriel. That creature belongs behind bars.

 Most of Adrien’s flaws come from his toxic home situation:

The Miraculous Wiki puts Adrien at fifteen. Meaning Adrien has only been actively leaving the house (for public school and the occasional social get-together) for about a year. His fourteenth birthday was one of the earliest episodes and im assuming his fifteenth birthday happened off screen between the s3 finale and the new york special.

Regardless the majority of his life was spent in isolation and his only company was his immediate family, Nathalie, Felix and Chloe. None of whom are particularly good role models except for Emilie. Maybe.

He’s rather overworked for a 14 y.o. boy. On top of school, he has fencing, piano and Chinese lessons. This leaves him with very little time for himself. 

He lost his mother. In Feast, Adrien expresses Emilie was a source of joy in his life--”Only Mom can make me laugh like that.” Felix marked the one year anniversary of her disappearance.  Worse still, we’re led to assume all Adrien knows is that Emilie disappeared. Did she abandon him? Was she kidnapped and killed? He doesn’t know. He has no closure regarding her absence. 

On top of losing his mother, his only remaining parent is an emotionally manipulative and abusive prick. Gabriel has denied Adrien a birthday party, threatened to take Adrien out of school just because he can, never lets him have friends over for any reason, hardly ever makes time for Adrien and only once in a blue moon will actually sit and eat a meal with the poor kid.

And on top of all of this he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s still living with his abusive father. He’s still not allowed to see his friends outside of school much. He’s still got a packed schedule. He still doesn’t have closure regarding his mother’s “disappearance.”

Looking at it like this paints Adrien in a rather sympathetic light.

 Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. 

We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She’s seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. Shes too busy trying not to hurt him. She also has shown some signs of having extreme anxiety, which messes with ones head and makes it difficult--nearly impossible--to think straight. She wants to be the source of love and comfort he desires (and already is in a way) so his faults go unprocessed.

But what are Adrien’s flaws?

1. He has trouble standing up for himself. 

He’ll take a stand for others.

 He stood up to Chloe on Mylene’s behalf in Horrificator and on Marinette/ Cheng Sifu’s behalf in Kung Food. He stood up to Lila in Oni-chan and Ladybug. He stood up to Gabriel in Simon Says--but as Chat Noir, not Adrien. 

There have only been two-ish instances of Adrien, not Chat Noir, standing up for himself. I say -ish only because he was kinda standing up for Lila in the first and Chloe in the second. 

First in Volpina he stood up to Ladybug for how she handled the situation with Lila. He personally believed she handled the situation poorly (which she did--there were/are serious consequences for that. still) and although he was kinda wishy-washy in conveying that it was only because he was scared of sounding too much like Chat Noir. Her partner. Her chief-of-staff. Who can and will call her out on such behavior. 

Second in Malediktator, when he more or less told Marinette she was wrong to be happy about Chloe leaving. Granted this was partly him standing up for Chloe, but aside from her—he, Adrien, was deeply upset chloe was leaving on such bad terms and made sure Marinette understood that. 

Abused children tend to be somewhat submissive/agreeable/etc. They have trouble speaking out when they’re uncomfortable or don’t want something or think a particular action is wrong. Usually because they are anticipating some kind of punishment for speaking out or afraid of offending the other person to the point that said person wants nothing to do with them anymore, or both.

 For Adrien to fix this particular flaw, he needs to prioritize himself and his own wants more. However he also needs someone who doesn’t chastise him for doing things he likes, tending to his own needs and setting boundaries. Kagami is not that person--she’s actually quite demanding of him and cold. Her understanding of relationships isnt great either, which is why these two really aren’t that great for each other. 

2. He puts his faith in the wrong people

  Adrien’s fucking household is about as toxic as it can get (please don’t take this as a challenge, S4). On top of his immediate family consisting of his abusive, toxic, terrorist father, there’s his cousin Felix. Felix who squished cheese under Adrien’s pillow, stole his phone, pretended to be him and sent an outrageous and awful video to his friends. 

 There’s also his mother Emilie whom, despite his love and adoration of her, lied to him for who knows how long and messed around with a broken miraculous to the point it forced her into an indefinite coma and left Adrien at his father’s mercy. There are theories that she did this for her family but nothing concrete or canon has been proven--all we know is that Emilie had been having frequent dizzy spells while she was still awake and using the peacock miraculous, and that she anticipated her fate and Gabriel apparently promised to save her.

There’s Lila, as well. “She’s not dangerous. She just craves attention.” Wrong, Adrien, she’s very dangerous. She is conspiring with your father to spy on you, attempted to get Marinette expelled from school, tricked you into leaving Ladybug alone with a supervillain whom she personally requested to kill Ladybug, pinned Marinette against a bathroom wall and almost got her akumatized, actually got Marinette akumatized and nearly cost you both the Ladybug Miraculous and TIkki. She isn’t just dangerous she is an actual threat, whether or not she is the future Hawk Moth who sent Timetagger after you when you were children with time-sensitive powers. Adrien has a slightly better understanding of that after the events of Ladybug and Oni-chan, so hopefully he will be on his guard at least in regards to Lila.

 The reason for Adrien’s overly trusting nature may lie in the fact that literally everyone closest to him, everyone for the first thirteen years or so, was toxic and/or a liar. You know what happens when you can’t trust anyone around you? You live with it. You accept all these bad people as they are, without making any effort to establish healthy boundaries. Adrien certainly lived with it--how’s an abused, isolated boxed-and-sheltered son supposed to know what healthy boundaries are when he’s lacking any healthy connections? I bet he can just barely endure all the anguish but he can’t stand to be alone so he just tolerates it. Not to mention the most guilty is his father. Where else is he supposed to go?

Like a frog sitting in a pot of water, you don’t realize you’re in trouble until the water is too hot. So you just accept it--all the bad feelings--you accept it, live with it and it still hurts but you rarely complain. Because anything is better than being alone. 

I think Adrien understands, deep down, that the love he is clinging to, the love provided by his relatives, isn’t really there. But if he looks at it too long and lets this knowledge sink in he’ll lose it. He really did lose it in Chat Blanc-- just that sky-crashing-down-on-him realization that he didn’t have his fathers love, hadn’t had it for a long time, just completely ruined our boy. 

 Of course the knowledge is there. It’s literally right there in front of his face and it’s only a matter of time before he is forced to turn and look and face the music. At which point I hope Marinette knows who he is and has a plan to save him otherwise Chat Blanc is just going to happen again. 

3. Yes, he takes the flirting too far sometimes

No--that doesn’t make him toxic.

Yes, Adrien overreacted to Ladybug never showing up in Glaciator. He shouldn’t have been upset with her in Frozen for not accepting the rose. He should have told her the damn truth about being forced to leave the city at the same time she was in the New York special. 

 However, he also apologized for overreacting in both Glaciator and Frozen. And again, abused kids live in anticipation of punishment for their mistakes. Adrien’s father has taught him that the slightest mistake can result in loss of freedom or trust, even if its circumstances beyond his control. And he now understands that Ladybug isn’t going to blindly punish him for being honest with her, which he now knows to do. 

 He makes mistakes, apologizes for them, and learns from them. That’s not fucking toxic--it’s natural, human and allowed. 

 He’s flirty and suggestive, yes, but the minute she signals she doesn’t want it or isn’t feeling it he stops. He has had immense trouble with not flirting with her, despite her telling him she isn’t interested multiple times. That much is true. But he truly and deeply cares for her and he would never force himself on her and it isn’t because he knows she’ll kick his ass if he does. It’s because unlike the vast majority of his family, he’s actually a decent human being. 

 He has even begun to “flirt platonically,” toasting their partnership and friendship rather than offering a romantic relationship she can never say yes to. If that isn’t the most soft and respectful fluff I don’t know what is.

 4. He is leading Kagami on

Did he cheat? I’m actually not sure. Thomas is being vague in his tweets and won’t give us a decent answer (because he likes “watching fandom burn”--i mean MOOD but clarify please). 

 Here’s what we know and have observed: 1. Chat Noir told Ladybug “I have a girlfriend” 2. He immediately followed that up with “It’s not good at all. I just said that to make you jealous”  3. He allowed Kagami to kiss him in the new york special 4. but he has trouble telling girls not to touch him--been a problem since episode one. Yes its generally cheek kisses chloe gives him but sometimes its not and he looked downright uncomfortable in a lot of cases of physical contact with her and with Lila 5. he seemed rather comfortable with kagami kissing him--except he did say no to her kissing him in the finale 6. but he’s also trying to move on from Ladybug and be with Kagami  7. If he were in a relationship with Kagami, he’d likely keep it a secret because both of their parents are controlling of them and may not allow it 8. His understanding of relationships and girls is kinda dreadful due to not having his mom around for advice and his father’s general lack of a concept of what healthy romantic relationships and boundaries are, and, as Nino put it, not being able to understand signals very well

Adrien’s current relationship status is up in the air. I’m about eighty percent certain he’s dating Kagami--but there’s still that twenty percent chance he’s not.

 Putting aside the question of whether or not he and Kagami are official, Adrien’s been attempting to move past his feelings for Ladybug. Which--won’t sugarcoat it--he kinda sucks at. At the same time, Kagami is aware he is in love with another but lacks the understanding that his moving on will take time. 

 The main issues here is that Adrien knows who he wants but can’t have her. Kagami is a wonderful person herself and he wants to get to know her better, but they aren’t really a good match and they are both going to get hurt in the end (Love Victor anyone???). Until that happens we are going to have some questionable moments in the show, and we just need to remember that Adrien is a child with a poor understanding of relationships, and not an evil person. Kagami doesn’t necessarily have a great understanding of them either--”Your indecision hurts me Adrien,” “Adrien you and I are perfect for each other!”--and she has flaws of her own she needs to unlearn. 

 For the time being, Adrien is leading Kagami on (it needs to be said--even if they aren’t dating he’s flirted with her, given her roses etc.) I say leading her on because, no matter how much Adrien believes Marinette is just a friend and they weren’t flirting in New York, loyal boyfriends who wish to be monogamous don’t dance with other women.

 Or look this happy when that other woman touches them

Does this make Adrien a deceitful and hateful character? No. Does this make him an unworthy character? No. It makes him an abused child with little to no concept of healthy relationships. 

Also Adrien’s friends, including Marinette, have no reason to believe he is dating Kagami. They know he is interested in her and she in him, but as Nino said, Adrien has a hard time picking up signals and understanding their meaning. Not to mention the boy is fifteen. Flirting skills, understanding boundaries, and other relationship concepts are a challenge even for ordinary fifteen year olds in healthy environments to grasp--case in point: Marinette.

Adrigami and Lukanette are simply not going to end well. The Love Square is the endgame and ultimately both Lukanette and Adrigami are going to fall apart to make that happen--I knew that going into the possible Adrigami and Lukanette  territory that the finale created.

 Kagami is a strong, intelligent person--she’s likely going to be the one to end it given what we’ve seen. I don’t like to think about what might happen then--she may be akumatized and Chat Noir would feel rather guilty and may not be able to fight her. But they will both come out of it with something they needed--Kagami will understand (as Marinette needs to) that Adrien isn’t her perfect soul mate incapable of making mistakes. Adrien will understand relationships better. 

 Its unfortunate that this has to happen in order for Adrien to learn due lessons, given that he actually does have someone who can talk to him about girls and relationships and loyalty: Nino.

 Given what Nino wasted no time in scolding Mari for spying on Adrien and Lila when she confessed doing so in Chameleon, as well as how he treats Alya, I undoubtedly believe Nino would be the one to come out and say “You can’t dance with Marinette when you’re with Kagami.” 

 Assuming he is with Kagami. 

In conclusion: Adrien is flawed but not deserving of hate. He is a traumatuzed child stuck in a toxic household who lacks proper mentors. Marinette, Alya and Nino are out of the loop about his potential relationship with Kagami. And Marinette and Kagami both need to acknowledge Adrien is imperfect. Nino and Adrien need to do guy talk like two seasons ago. 

Also Marinette probably has some intense anxiety issues. But more on that later.

[barnesbabee]

Bad Baby || K.H

Summary: Maybe what he needed was a wake up call... And a little punishment.

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Words: Oof quite a bit

Genre: Smut, Angst

⚠ orgasm denial, praise kink ⚠

A/N: I fucking loved the live concert, I was so happy seeing them... Enjoy xx💖

ᴄʀ: ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱʙᴀʙᴇᴇ

 "So, you think he'll like it?"

 Seonghwa nodded and gave you a thumbs up.

 You twirled in front of the mirror, appreciating the way your black skirt flowed and simultaneously hugged your waist.

  With the comeback approaching, Hongjoong felt very pressured and stressed, and you wanted to help him relax since it wasn't good for his health, and since he really deserved a treat for being so hardworking.

  You'd prepared a nice little dinner at the dorm and dressed up for him. You were really excited, and you couldn't wait to see his face shift from an ugly, tired frown to his gorgeous, pure smile.

   That wasn't the case, however.

   The second he opened the door and you threw his arms around him, yelling 'surprise!' he immediately groaned and pulled you off of him. Your eyebrows furrowed and you felt a little bummed out, but then again, being attacked as you stepped inside probably wasn't a great thing.

   "Hongjoongie, I made you something!" 

   As you grabbed his wrist and started dragging him to the kitchen excitedly, you felt him pull away. You turned around and looked at him, a little confused at his cold behavior.

  "Hongjoong, is something wrong?"

  He rolled his eyes and huffed.

  "No, everything is fine, but it's just not great having someone cling to you all the time. It's fucking annoying Y/N, I just left work, let me rest for a fucking second before you come jump around near me."

   You couldn't believe your ears. All of the other members looked at you in pity, they knew how excited you were about that night, and it made you feel absolutely humiliated. You didn't quite know what to say, or how to react, your boyfriend had never spoken to you in such a heartless manner.

   "Hongjoong, please don't say things like that you know-"

   He immediately cut you off.

   "I'll say whatever I want! Y/N you fucking cling to me all the goddamn time, I want to rest, is that too much to ask!? For you not to glue to me 24/7!?

    His voice grew by the second, and his arms flailed like he was desperate, yearning for air, as if you really choked him. Tears brimmed in your eyes and your heart ached. Each vile word of his was like a stab on your body.

    "Joong I think-"

    He cut you off once more, but this time the bubble burst. You weren't going to hear another second of that nonsense. Your fists balled up behind your body and the previous sadness in your eyes shifted into anger.

   "Shut the fuck up! Now you shut up and listen to me! I know you're fucking stressed out, we all know, but you don't have the goddamn right to mistreat everyone around you for days on end comeback after comeback! It's exhausting! Everyone lets it slide because we all understand the weight you carry on your shoulders, but that doesn't give you the right to treat anyone like shit! I did my best to try and do something sweet for you and this is how you thank me!? Maybe I should rethink our relationship."

  There was not a drop of emotion as you said in the last sentence. You didn't mean it, you didn't want it, but it was what you felt deep down. You couldn't handle it, not like that...

   Hongjoong, who up until then had been listening very much against his will, widened his eyes in shock. He was visibly taken aback by your boldness, by how angry you were. You had never acted like this, you had never exploded in front of him, and a sense of regret immediately washed over his body.

   You walked past him, making sure to bump your shoulder against his, and grabbed your purse while simultaneously gripping the doorknob.

   Hongjoong turned around as fast as possible.

  "Y/N-"

  "Too late." You told him, as you turned the doorknob and left the apartment, making sure to slam the door behind you.

  Your ruthless expression scared Hongjoong, and for the first time ever, he was scared that he had lost you. 

   He was terrified, hopeless, and he didn't know what to do. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he didn't move, not until Seonghwa approached him.

   "You know, she really tried hard... You have to stop breaking her heart like that, you'll eventually lose her."

    The smaller boy turned to face his elder and sniffed, not bothering to clean his tears.

    "What if I already have?..." His voice was just above a whisper, too broken to be able to speak any louder than that.

   Seonghwa sighed and placed his hands on Hongjoong's shoulders, whilst looking him in the eye.

   "You haven't, not yet, trust me. But you have to go there and promise her, and make her believe that you won't hurt her like this anymore, she's only human Joong. You have to make it up to her." 

   As Hongjoong took in the information he just nodded. Once Seonghwa was done, he immediately sprinted out of the apartment. He didn't want to let another second pass by, knowing that you were hurting on your own, knowing that maybe you weren't his anymore.

   The tears continuously cascaded down his cheeks, the thought of losing you hurting way too much.

   He assumed you had taken a taxi, since he couldn't find you anywhere on the streets as he ran to your apartment block.

   Once he arrived, he ignored the elevator and took the stairs, not wanting to waste one second.

   He knocked on the door loudly. 

   No answer.

   He knocked once more.

   "Y/N, Y/N please I know you're in there! Give me another chance, I can't lose you like this!"

   Hongjoong's shaky voice made your heart quiver.

   You slowly opened the door, revealing the flushed, sweaty, and teary man you loved oh so much.

   "You haven't lost me yet, Hongjoong..."

   He immediately pulled you in a tight hug and cried onto your shoulder.

   "Princess I'm so sorry... I love you more than anything I'm sorry I treated you like that, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel lonely, I'm sorry for taking you for granted, I'm sorry... for everything."

  Your tears, that had already dried up, stained your cheeks for the second time that night.

   "It's okay, just, please don't do it again..."

  Hongjoong pulled away from the hug and cupped your face, making you look him in the eye.

   "Never again, I promise."

   You smiled and bit your lip, trying to suppress a sob.

   The both of you stood in the doorway, holding each other close, for a couple more minutes before a gush of wind rushed by you, sending chills down your spines. You shivered in his arms and he chuckled.

  "Should we go in?" He asked.

  You nodded and intertwined your fingers with his, pulling him inside your apartment as he closed the door.

   You dragged your boyfriend to the couch and cuddled up to him. You sat beside him and laid your head on the crook of his neck, while his head rested on yours and his arm pulled you close by the waist.

 "I missed this..." You confessed in a whisper, loving the quietness and peacefulness of the ambient.

  Hongjoong hummed in agreement.

  "Me too..." He paused for a second, unsure if he should bring it up, but Hongjoong decided to go ahead "You know Y/N, about that thing from before, if there's any way I came ake it up to you, you know, as an apology... I'm all ears."

  You looked up at him as he spoke nervously. Being with him was enough, nothing came to your mind particularly. That was, until a dirty scenario popped into your mind.

  You bit your lip and one of your hands caressed his chest for a second before moving down to his abdomen, where you left it.

  "You know... We haven't done anything in a long time.”

  Immediately he understood what you mean, and a smirk was plastered across his face. Hongjoong's arm, that was around your waist, pulled you to his lap as he hummed contently. 

  "Do you have anything in mind, pretty princess?" He asked as he delivered small kisses to your neck and jaw.

  You placed your hands on his chest and pulled him back. He squeezed your thighs and looked at you confusedly.

  "Tonight you're mine." You leaned down so your lips would be by his ear "You misbehaved baby, you have to be punished."

   You gave his crotch a light squeeze and tugged on his earlobe with your teeth.

   You stood up and walked to your bedroom, and when you noticed he wasn't following you glanced over your shoulder.

   Hongjoong sat there, perplexed at your sudden attitude.

   "Aren't you coming?"

   He shuffled in his place for a second before jolting up and following you to your bedroom.

   Hongjoong watched as you stripped down to your underwear. A wave of guilt instantly hit him. You were wearing the piece of underwear he had been eyeing in a store for a couple weeks now. You had gone and bought it for him to see and he had treated you like shit, fuck he was an asshole.

   "Don't stand there looking pretty, undress for me."

   You bit your lip as you watched him peel off every piece of clothing one by one, leaving him only in his boxers. You raised your brow at him and stepped closer to him.

   Your index finger hooked around the waistband of his underwear and tugged on it, letting go of it immediately after so it'd snap against his hip.

   "I said strip."

   Hongjoong swallowed dryly, getting a little nervous about your dominant demeanor. He was excited, he had never been controlled by you and he didn't quite know what to expect.

    He slipped off his boxers and watched as you knelt down and grabbed the base of his shaft. 

   Your boyfriend immediately hissed at the contact, as it had been long since you had touched him that way.

   Your tongue swirled around his tip and you sucked it, teasingly. Your fingers gripped his base tighter and he moaned as he gripped your hair tightly. You took more of him into your mouth and started bobbing your head to a steady rhythm, taking more of him each time, until you felt his tip hit the back of your throat.

   As your hand started following the movements, Hongjoong became more neddy. His hips thrust into your mouth, causing you to gag. You pulled away completely and looked up at him.

   "If you do that again I won't let you cum today, understand?" You asked as you delivered a slap to his naked thigh.

   Hongjoong nodded his head.

   "Y-yes, I do."

   "Good boy."

   His dick twitched in your hand at the praise, and you took him in your mouth once more. 

  You sped up the pace substantially, and when your hand's grip tightened slightly around his base Hongjoong let out a desperate cry.

   "Princess that's so good... I'm- I'm gonna cum..."

   As soon as he told you that you pulled away from his dick and removed your hand. Hongjoong moaned, displeased at the denial.

   He thought his punishment was over, but little did he know it had just begun.

   You stood in front of him and removed your bra, followed by your panties. 

   Right then, Hongjoong only wanted to kiss your neck and sit you down on his dick until you both came, but he knew he couldn't, not after what you had done to him.

   You looked over to the bed.

   "Lay down for me baby."

   He obeyed your wishes and laid on the bed, facing up.

   You sat on his dick, rubbing your wet pussy on his rock-hard cock. You leaned down and pressed your lips against his in a rough, desperate kiss. 

   Even though you took the leading role, his tongue controlled the kiss, out of habit. His hands snaked up your legs, grabbed your ass harshly and he pulled your core closer to his cock, wanting more friction, needing more friction.

   You slapped his hand away and looked at him with a dirty grin.

   "You don't get to touch me, baby."

  Hongjoong groaned and threw his head back.

   "Fuck Y/N, I can't handle it..."

  You brought your lips down to his neck and nibbled on his soft skin.

  "You have to, or else," You paused, as you lifted yourself up, aligned his cock with your entrance, and slammed down on him "I won't let you cum."

  Hongjoong gripped the sheets in desperation and moaned into the air.

  He wouldn't last like that... It had been too long since you two had fucked and he had been denied his orgasm before.

   "Y/N please, please let me fuck you, let me touch you..."

   His breathy begs were so cute. You loved how his pretty voice and heavy breaths echoed in the room, you were obsessed with the way you made him plead, with the way you drove him crazy.

   Hongjoong's eyes were tightly shut and his mouth was agape, as his chest rose and fell quickly.

   You started bouncing on his cock, slowly and steadily, and both of your moans increased volume.

   Your hands caressed his lower abdomen, giving you some stability.     When it eventually became too much for you to bear too, you gave him the green card.

   "Fuck Hongjoongie, touch me."

   As soon as he processed your words, he gripped your waist and flipped the two of you around. 

   Hongjoong pounded into you mercilessly. The headboard hit the wall loudly and repeatedly, certainly annoying some neighbors, but you didn't care, you were so, so close.

   You gripped Hongjoong's shoulders, your nails digging into his skin, as you looked at his lust-filled face. There were beads of sweat rolling down the side of his cheek, his hair was sticking to his forehead and his skin glistened. Hongjoong's eyes were glued to the way he entered you relentlessly, and his eyebrows were furred in pure pleasure.

   "Hongjoong... Hongjoong I'm going to cum." You moaned.

   Your boyfriend looked at you and smirked. He squeezed your waist tighter.

   "Should I let you cum?"

   You groaned and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

   "Shut up." You told him.

   His thrusts became sloppier as your tongue explored his mouth, and you could feel your orgasm bottling up.

   Hongjoong came first, not being able to hold back anymore, and he nearly collapsed on top of you as he shot a load of his thick cum inside you.

   Feeling him fill you up made you reach your orgasm. Your might went blank and your mouth fell agape as you cried his name.

   Hongjoong removed himself from you and fell beside you, pulling you close to his body.

   You placed one of your hands on his chest and kissed his cheek.

   "Hm, you were a good boy today." You teased, with a small smile.

   Hongjoong looked at you and kissed your forehead.

   "Fuck, I love you so much."

[steponmepinkjun]

hey sara! have you ever had a what i like to call "feminity crisis"? I am super confident in myself that i identify as a woman on the girly side, but sometimes being tall (especially for where i live) has me questioning the way i see myself.

i always wonder what my personality would be like if i wasnt often called "intimidating", "overpowering" and so on

when im alone i genuinely forget that im tall and can just be myself, but when im around people im constantly reminded that im not what i think i am in my head :(

im forever wondering when im gonna stop wishing i was smal and cute

So much to unpack here. I'm gonna be using gendered and very broad/general language because I'm in a rush, on mobile, and also lazy. I'm also gonna put it under a cut cause not everyone wants my musings on their dash lmfao

Simple answer being yes. I'm tall, I've got broad shoulders, I've always had a very loud and boisterous personality once I get comfortable, I've always been VERY opinionated and not cared who knows it. I've also been told all my life that I'm "intimidating," as a reason for why I have never attracted much romantic attention, as well as a reason I have a hard time making friends, or a reason that people don't like me.

But the thing is this. I am not intimidating. I am not rude or nasty or scary, I do not have "resting bitch face," it's not my job to perform happiness for others' comfort. There's nothing intimidating about my height or my broad shoulders or my loud voice, I just simply do not fit the pedophilic female ideal of tiny, dainty, quiet, submissive, hairless, and wrinkle free—I am not a child, and I am not a sex doll. Being smart, being opinionated, being loud, none of those things are bad. I am not "too much" just because I take up space, and neither are you. I exist, I deserve to be seen and heard, so do you. My femininity is not derived from making myself as small and unimposing as possible, neither is yours. If someone thinks I'm intimidating, it's not because I actually am—I'm not intimidating, they are intimidated. And that is their fuckin problem, not mine. People who aren't interested in pulling me down don't find me intimidating. They're not threatened by my greatness.

Anyone who makes you feel like you're too much is simply projecting their own issues into you. You don't have to make yourself smaller so that others can feel better. It's not your job to hold space for how others perceive you. And it's okay to be intimidating! Being small and soft and sweet is great, if that's what serves YOU, if that's YOUR truth, if that's YOUR reality—a lot of times we're led to believe that obliging other people above ourselves will grant us happiness, niceness, or acceptance, but whether that's true or not, I think there's often more reward in changing our world to benefit us, rather than changing ourselves to benefit the world. You don't need to be "small and cute" to be feminine. And fuck people who say differently. Who cares if you're tall as a skyscraper? You can be cute as you wanna be towering over me! My perception of you, or anyone else's, has no bearing on how much respect and love and kindness you deserve. No one gets to take from you so that they can have more.

As for wondering who you would be if you weren't always being undercut by others, you absolutely can access that person and cultivate them within yourself. Just little things like asking your true inner self what you want and need, and really listening, can help you start to make that shift. Anecdotal communication here, but I get that feeling—I sometimes wonder who I would be if I hadn't been bullied/punished out of all interests, hobbies, habits, coping mechanisms, self-soothing behaviors, etc at a very young age. The answer is that I don't know, but I'm not dead yet, so I can change that, I can align myself with things that serve me now. I can choose not to keep people around if they make me feel like shit, I can allow myself to access all the behaviors I was bullied out of with acceptance instead of shame, I can give myself the space and kindness I didn't get from others. And slowly you start to change and create more and more for joy, and less room for all the other bullshit. Your personality without always having shite chatted in your ear would probably be pretty similar to your personality now, just with less shame. Speak up and set boundaries. It's not easy, but it's as simple as saying, "Hey, I actually don't like having my height brought up as a negative, please refrain from doing that or using words like 'intimidating.' It makes me uncomfortable." Boom, clear boundary set. I tend to gently pull someone aside and go, "Hey, friend. I actually would really prefer if we could avoid conversations about dieting or weight when I'm around, okay?" Because if I don't tell them, they can't read my mind and just know that I don't like it—I have to give them the room to make corrections in the future, in a gentle and non-punishing way. They can choose to respect it and stay in my life, or they can relinquish their space in my life 🤷🏻‍♀️ If people disrespect my boundary, I'm just gonna leave the conversation. I'm walking away. If they can't commit to respecting that boundary, they're not my friend, and we don't need to interact. You can always become the person you wanna be. And hopefully, you'll find a way to exist as your authentic self without shame. ❤️

Also, honestly? Maybe buy some killer heels and stomp on people's toes more often 😂

[magnusgoetia]

Transcript of a Sinner’s Conversation: A Meeting with Caecus

--Begin (In Medias Res)--

Sinner: You kiddin'? Dyin' was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Caecus: There’s nothing you left behind? No family to miss?

Sinner: My family? Fuck 'em, I'd ‘ave hired 'elp to kill 'em already if it meant they'd be dead-dead, and I wouldn't have to spend time wiv 'em down 'ere. It wouldn't be right for me to force this on my friends either, but they'll be 'ere in due time anyway. I can wait.

Caecus: So, you’re expecting your friends to join you here as well. The wait must be awfully lonely.

Sinner: Ah, not really. I’ve made friends while I’m ‘ere. The shit I can do ‘ere is like, fucking magic and with it I can make up for what I lack in a lot of different ways. Just wish I could remember how I ‘ad died.

Caecus: Maybe it’s better not to remember… Not all of us intended to be here, after all.

Sinner: No. No, perhaps it’s best not to remember. I quickly found out that it's not just evil folks that end up here, lots of good folks, plenty of weird ones too. I'm sensing you’re of the “gooder” ones, you radiate...well, it’s 'ard to describe, but I don't sense any hostility from you at the very least, even though you were born ‘ere.

Caecus: How amiable of you. But remember, a birth is just a new beginning of sorts. You couldn’t have been alone since you were… delivered to us.

Sinner: Ah, you’re a poetic type aren’t ya? Anyway, I’ve not made many friends but I do ‘ave a particular fondness for this one clown...me an' 'im seem to 'ave this weird connection wiv each other. Actually, he's more of a jester type, though rather embarrassingly his name escapes me...

Caecus: Are you, by chance, referring to an imp named Blocko?

Sinner: Yeah, don’t surprise me you know ‘im. He seems like the type to ‘ave a particular reputation.

Caecus: That he does, and yet a divine will connects us. I’m being led to believe your intriguing appearance has an even more… intriguing history.

Sinner: Riiiight...Well, you know what they say about skeletons and closets. Though I suppose I ‘ave nothing to hide ‘ere...Well, to put it simply, I was a broken kid. I never got help, and I did... unspeakable things to anyone who ‘ad wronged me—or simply didn't like.

Caecus: Even the purest of souls can be corrupted by another’s sins.

Sinner: Yeah...Well, it's not like I'll stop doin’ what I did while I was alive, with all that murder and hedonism. Though death has a way of humbling some people...In any case, the murders mostly stopped as I grew older. I seemed to have preferred to just traumatise people instead, ruin lives of the people I saw as bad or evil.

Caecus: Then you found a different punishment for those you had judged.

Sinner: I suppose so. A lot of it involved me spying on groups of people. I'd worm my way into the seedy societies that thought they were safe in their little circles and collect dirt on them. Really sick shit too by the way but don’t worry, the hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me either.

Caecus: Oh? You judged yourself a hypocrite yet continued along a path of self-appointed righteousness... Why?

Sinner: I don’t know, maybe a sense of catharsis? A lot of these were people who I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about killing or whatever. Sometimes it was more personal too, there were—still are people I am attached to up there that got hurt, and I took my revenge on them in their place.

Caecus: Ahh, how noble. Fighting for your friends.

Sinner: Yeah, there was this one particular bastard. Actually, there were a few…but…eh, nevermind…this one particular guy who was essentially lying to one of these “friends” and caused them a psychotic breakdown. I didn’t take action right away, but I did end up killing ‘im. Didn’t even bother hiding the fact it was a murder.

Caecus: What made you wait?

Sinner: Money, mostly. It makes the world up there spin, and you need a lot of it to get anything done, right? Well, I ‘ad to wait until I ‘ad enough money to fly to the states on top of all that shit involved in immigratin’. When I settled in, that’s when I made my move on a buncha grudges. This guy was just the first. Moving to the states made my life a lot easier in some ways. Was a lot easier to sleep when I took care of the grudges too.

Caecus: Oh, wow. You must have had remarkable resolve to keep a “grudge” that long… Tell me, did all of them truly deserve it?

Sinner: No, most didn’t, but I am…was, an angry person. I found I was very much capable of venting my anger, to put it mildly, and I was much too young when I had...shall we say...discovered it.

Caecus: Young minds are impressionable.

Sinner: Right, and the fact that I was generally good at getting away with it made me feel just that little bit better about it.

Caecus: So, you exploited that validation to continue justifying your actions. Most sinners in your position never reach awareness...

Sinner: Yeah? I’ll take that as a compliment, but I was totally emotionally disconnected when committing my crimes. Afterwards I pretty much always dealt with conflict. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. Though I had largely stopped my ways. I’m ‘aving way too much fun down ‘ere, and even though I won’t drag ‘em down here with me, I’d love to have my friends join me eventually.

Caecus: Would they be pleased being here, embrace this existence like you have?

Sinner: I dunno, some of them have a hard enough time as it is with one existence, I doubt they’ll be too happy to find out there’s another waitin’ for ‘em. The others I’d imagine would be quite surprised all the same, being atheists and such, but I reckon they’d come to like it.

Caecus: An existence you cannot escape is itself a prison. Albeit, choosing to enjoy it in spite of that perspective is a marvelous thing. If you could imagine them in your presence, what would you do?

Sinner: Again, I dunno. It’s hard to tell when they’re not here yet but I am somewhat interested in what’ll end up happening should they get here. I dunno if I’ll be able to tell if it’s them even.

Caecus: And how do you dare to enjoy existence now?

Sinner: Well, I’ve been doing everything I’ve ever wanted to do but could never do in life amongst other things. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I played a bunch of video games, so I miss those quite a bit. I’ve found plenty of ways to fill that void though. Some of your movies are pretty sick down ‘ere, and importing goods from the other rings to ‘ere means I don’t miss out…mostly, on their fun too. I just wish I could explore the other rings; I don’t get why us sinners can’t.

Caecus: Decretum is often difficult to understand. However, it would seem a blessing that you’ve been placed with the multifarious company of the pride ring.

Sinner: True enough, whatever that means. There’s a lot of strip clubs, greedy businesses and shit, stuff you think you’d only find in the other rings. Though I think I probably would’ve ended up in wrath if we landed in the rings based on our sins.

Caecus: Most catechisms view wrath as an excessive anger. You strike me as having more control than the average sinner.

Sinner: A lot of people on the surface woulda said the same too, I was and I suppose still am really good at keeping it in check, well, good enough to not make it obvious anyway. Though it’s been a lot tougher down here.

Caecus: This is a realm of collective temptation, after all.

Sinner: My only judge here is myself and perhaps my peers if I let them. I still kill down here, but it’s been in self-defence. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone out of anger yet but let’s just say I’d feel sorry for the poor sod who happened to piss me off on a bad day.

Caecus: You’ve always been your own judge. I suspect the lack of good comparisons for your behavior here has coaxed you further.

Sinner: Actually, I could tell you about the first person I “killed” down here. It was soon after I woke up. I suppose this guy thought it’d be easy—fresh sinner, just in time to be another tally mark on some statistic.

Caecus: A second death, the lake of fire…

Sinner: Uh...yeah, I reacted on instinct and it musta been a sort of “kiss of death” type shit. I only touched the dude with my hand, and he just kinda…shrivelled up and died. You know…like when a cartoon character eats a lemo—ah sorry, you can’t watch TV.

Caecus: Ah, yes… a shrivelling death is nevertheless descriptive.

Sinner: Anyway, I have a bunch of other powers too but that one I’m most afraid of you know? I can drop the ambient temperature of an area so shit gets cold, have some form of telekinesis and a buncha other stuff, like I have some kinda control over this weird glowy energy, it’s how I have my eyes, which are purely for show, I don’t need them since I can see perfectly fine without ‘em...not that you’d know I even have ‘em.

Caecus: I’m aware you observe our world, in a traditional sense. My observations are just a bit more… unorthodox. And I feel as if your fear is not from a lack of understanding.

Sinner: Well I seem to have it under control, but I’m afraid in a moment of weakness I might react without thinking, you know? I’ve not had it happen yet, but it would be so easy when flippin’ out that I just give ‘em the ol’ touch of death.

Caecus: Even a king’s heart is just a stream of water to the hand of… fate.

Sinner: Gonna be honest, I haven’t the foggiest of what you just said. Though if I’m being honest myself, I couldn’t care less if it was someone I didn’t know anyway. Only really care about my friends and such. You seem pretty neat yourself.

Caecus: The impression is mutual. It’s not often that I’m seen as anything other than senseless and intimidating. I don’t find it unwarranted, granted; my appearance is as disconcerting as my psyche.

Sinner: How do you even know what you look like? It’s not like you can just look into a mirror.

Caecus: I was presented with a vision soon before I arrived, my last blessing I suppose… Regardless, my rebirth is a tale for another time. I’ve relished in your company long enough, and I must answer my calling. I’m sure our paths will converge again.

Sinner: Hey, I hope so too...uh....

Caecus: Please, call me Caecus.

Sinner: Well, it’s only polite to give you my name too. I go by many names here, but I am quite fond of “Mr. Death” as silly as it sounds.

Caecus: Silly, yes, but very becoming of you. A pleasure, Mr. Death.

Mr. Death:Well, don’t let me keep you. I’d like to see you again sometime, Caecus. I’ll take my leave.

Caecus: All in due time.

--End--

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: You are newly adopted by the friend of your previous owner who couldn’t afford to take care of you anymore. You don’t mind much as your new owner was super nice and super rich, allowing you to live in a kind of luxury you’ve never experienced before and spoiling you rotten.

The only problem? He already owned another cat hybrid, an incredibly arrogant one at that who thought he was better than you just because his bloodline was pure. Well, you weren’t the type of pussy who would take his shit lying down, and you were determined to make him pay for the way he’s been treating you. 

A/N: yikes this is really bad enjoy your crap sandwich 

____________

“I have no idea why your rut is coming in so early this year.” Your owner ponders out loud to Minho, who seemed uncomfortable with the topic of discussion, ears red as he silently picks and prods at his food.

Your owner sighs, “Doesn’t matter, your usual playmate’s owner was kind enough to let us borrow her hybrid on such short notice.”

“Oh, Irene’s coming?” Minho asks disappointedly.

“Yes, is that a problem? I thought Irene was your favorite.” Your owner asks, confused by Minho’s change of heart.

“She is. I just thought…” Minho trails off, not clarifying why he suddenly doesn’t seem enthusiastic about hooking up with the beautiful cat. However, his eyes betray him as he casts a quick glance in your direction that doesn’t slip his owner’s notice.

Smirking, the man asks teasingly, “Lino, do you want fuck our pretty kitty?”

“N-no. What? No!” He sputters, glancing at you again then looking away in embarrassment when he sees you looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I would never fuck him anyway.” You sneer at him, and if it was possible, the male hybrid deflates even more. “I like good kitties.”

“I can be good.” Minho mumbles, frowning.

“What was that, Lino?” Your owner chuckles, enjoying this turn of events a little too much.

“Nothing, that mongrel is ugly anyway.” He huffs, standing up and storming to his room.

“He doesn’t mean that, sweetie.” Your owner tells you apologetically, feeling bad about his hybrid’s bad behavior.

“Whatever.” You sniff in distaste. You know it is only a matter of time before the stuck-up hybrid comes crawling to you, and when he does, you’ll make sure to punish him for his rotten attitude.  

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Your eyes sweep over the boy that was tied up in front of you, the thin cream-colored rope looping around his limbs and criss-crossing over his chest looked so pretty against his skin. His arms and legs were almost completely immobilized, with his legs tied to his thighs and forearms tied to his arms and kept out of the way so you’d have easy access to his dick that was red and swollen by now from the hours of teasing you’ve forced him to endure.

The strokes you gave his cock were wet and slippery from the amount of precum he had dribbled onto himself, and they have him keening desperately, whining behind the ballgag you had stuck in his mouth for you to have mercy on him and let him cum.

Using your other hand, you play with his balls that were tied up with a rope of their own, looping around each one then around the base of his cock in a makeshift cockring, leaving them swollen and distended with cum that ached to burst out. To top it all off, his tight little hole was stuffed snuggly with a cute, pink buttplug, the vibrations of which keeping him on edge even when you’d stop touching him.

To say he looked a mess would be an understatement, a trail of drool forming from the corner of his mouth to his chin as he kept trying to beg you to let him cum. It felt so good seeing that snob of a purebreed submit so fully to a mongrel like you.

“Does that feel good, kitty?” You taunt, your hand pumping his length slowly.

He nods vigorously, saying something behind the gag that was too muffled to hear but you assume it’s just more begging.

“I bet you’re just dying to come, aren’t you?” You laugh cruelly, and he whimpers, his cock twitching in the air just at the mention of getting to cum. Once again, he nods, staring at you with wet, hopeful eyes as you speed up your strokes.

“Do you think you deserve it?”

Your question causes a fresh wave of tears to fall down his face as he knows full well that, no, he doesn’t deserve it but he still wants it anyway. He’s shocked when you grant him his wish.

“Ok, you can cum.”

He’s suspicious that you’re finally giving him his release, but it’s hard for him to think clearly when your hand blurs over his cock that was already so close. Soon, he tenses up and little ropes of glistening white cum cover his abdomen. Somehow, even after being denied for so long, he still manages to sound and look delicate while cumming, his moans soft and relieved as his body tenses and relaxes with each wave of his orgasm.

You keep stroking him through it, praising him for listening well. “That’s a good boy. Yeah, cum all over yourself, pretty. Wanna see you all dirtied up.”

The overstimulation starts to set in as you show no sign of stopping, and he winces in pain, but keeps his hands pulled tight against his chest in the little mock paws you had put them in as he tries to lie still and let you milk every last drop out of him.

But you weren’t planning to stop, and the way his eyes change from scrunched up to wide-eyed and betrayed as he realizes that only makes you want to ruin him more. His formerly sweet moans pick up in pitch and his head thrashes left and right, making the cat bell around his neck jingle. Each time you would touch the head of his cock, his entire body would jerk and he would throw his head back with a muffled scream.

Feeling particularly cruel, you close your fist around his head and lightly rub your palm against it; that’s when he drops his hands from the little paws to try and swat at yours but you smack his chest in retaliation and and chastise him, "You better behave if you want to see your pretty cock inside my pussy."

Quickly, he folds his hands back into paws and tries to bite back his cries, tears streaming down his face as he stutters and sniffles.

"Fuck kitten you're not used to being treated this rough huh?" You ask hungrily, going back to pumping his cock, feeling it searing hot underneath your touch. “Spoiled kitty is used to having obedient little pussies presenting themselves to you for the taking. But that’s not how this is gonna go. You have to make up for all the time you were a little shit to me.”

He bites back his cries and nods, his eyes as red as his poor cock that was still hard. Taking your hand off him, you smirk when you hear him whine at the loss.

“Oh, hush.” You smack his thigh and get up, but that only makes him whine louder as he calls for you, panicked as to why you’ve left him. You could’ve told him but you wanted him to fuss a little.

Walking back to him, you bradish the box cutter you had gotten and laugh as he cowers. “Don’t worry, pretty, I won’t hurt you.”

You use the cutter to remove the ropes from his legs then help him extend them gently to get the blood flowing through them again before you pull him up on unsteady feet and guide him towards the bed. Seating him on it, you grab the harness and dildo you had put there earlier, and he watches you with rapt attention as you put them on, his own cock jumping between his legs as you start lubbing up the dildo.  

When you’re done, you lay on your back on the bed and beckon him to you. Bashfully, he crawls up the bed towards you and hovers over your hips as you remove the plug from his ass and line him up with the dildo.

“Come on, kitty, get to work.”

He finds it hard to look you in the eye as he sinks down on your cock, and you in turn find it incredibly amusing. “Not so proud now, huh?”

You trail your index finger along the vein running up his cock, and he bucks forward, jolting the dildo inside him and making him moan out. “Ride me, kitty.”

He starts moving, his actions unsure as this was a whole new experience for him, but he was determined to be good for you, his eyebrows scrunching up as his movements get more resolute.

“That’s it, good kitty.” You massage his thighs, encouraging him to increase his pace. “My kitty.”  

A loud moan slips past his gag at your words and a big drop of precum oozes from his slit.

“Oh you like that? So now you’re not too good to be called mine?” You sneer at him, reminding him of how he would hiss and scratch at you whenever you tried to scent him before, even as his body was burning up in need for you.

Taking his gag off, you don’t bother to wipe up the drool that was all over his chin as you ask, “Tell me, pretty, do you want to be mine?”

He flushes and his little paws clench tightly as he bounces on your cock and whines, embarrassed, “B-baby…”

“Baby? I guess I’m getting more than I bargained for with you.” You chuckle, making him pout and stop.

“Did I say you can stop?” You smack his ass and push at his hips to get him to start moving again. “And I didn’t say I don’t like it. Come on, say it again. Who am I?”

“M-my baby.” He squeaks as he keeps fucking himself on the dildo. His cock grabs your attention as it twitches, and you wrap a hand around it to jerk him off.  “Hmm, I like the sound of that. Are you going to be a good kitty for me from now on?”

“Yes!” He cries out hoarsely, “just...please.”

“What do you want, pretty?”

“W-want...ah...t-to cum.”

“Do it then.” You still your hand, indicating for him to start fucking it. It’s hard to keep his balance when his hands were tied up but he tries his best, sitting up so he can thrust his slick cock into your closed fist.

“Ah, fuck, baby… yeah, yeah, yeah, please. Please!” He pants, mouth hanging open in ecstasy.

To help him out, you start bucking your hips up, fucking his ass from underneath while he focuses on trying to get himself off in your hand. “Come on, kitten, let it go, want you to paint my tits with your pretty cum.”

Obediently, he shoots his load across your chest, and you marvel at how much cum there is when he has already ejaculated once.

“Look how much came out. Such a good boy.” You praise, gently stroking him through his high to get every last bit of cum out, but you don’t overstimulate him this time, stopping when his orgasm passes.

“Baby,” He calls out hesitantly, struggling to hold himself up. “Did I do a good job?”

You smile up at him, caressing his tummy with sticky hands but neither of you cares. “The best, kitten.”

The smile he gives you in response is bright and happy, and you vow to yourself that, from now on, you’d make sure to do all you can to see everyday.

Minho shakily gets off you and, to your surprise, instead of flopping down on the bed next to you, his hands slip to your hips to remove the didlo from the harness so he can have easy access to your heat which he presses his face into right away.  

“Minho, what are you doing?”

“I’ve been so mean to you. I want to make it up to you.” He murmurs, pressing sweet kisses to your heat.

Brushing his hair softly, you sigh, “Ok.”

He parts your lips lightly with his fingers and lays kisses up your slit until he reaches your clit, swirling his tongue around it  before pulling it back into his mouth so he can have a taste. You guess he likes it, if the appreciative moan he lets out is any indication, or the way he quickly dives back in.

This time, he licks long stripes up and down your pussy, using the back of his tongue instead of just the tip, and you grab onto his hair and moan out, “Your mouth feels so good, pretty.”

His eyes smile at you before he puts his lips around your clit and sucks hard, the sharp pleasure that produces catches you off guard. Minho alternates between sucking on your clit and rubbing his tongue up and down, and left and right over it, the alternating movement causing your high to build up fast and he feels it. Pressing his face as tight to your pussy as possible, he rubs it against you as his mouth sucks on every part it could latch on. As your orgasm builds, you use the grip you have on his hair to hold his head still so your can grind your pussy against his face, and Minho just sticks his tongue out for you and lets you fuck his mouth, humming happily at the moans and praises that were spilling out of your own mouth.

“You’re so good, kitty, such a good boy for me.” You cry out, your fingers tugging harshly on his hair but he doesn’t even notice. All he could focus on was the swell of pride in his chest at the pleasure he was bringing you, helping him shed the final remnants of his ego that had deprived him of such satisfaction before.

“Right there, ah, fuck!” You groan, cumming on his tongue, and he puts his hands to your hips to keep you in place as you shiver and shake underneath him.

Finally letting go of the death grip you have on his hair, you pull him up to you and kiss him sweetly on the lips, your arms wrapping around his waist and stroking up and down his back. “Good job, pretty.”

“Am I forgiven?”

“Yes, love.”

“Ok, then next time I want to fuck your pussy.” He replies cheekily, hand slithering between your bodies to prod at your dripping entrance.  

“Hm, maybe you need to be punished yet.”

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

[thedorkmagiciangirl]

The Mysterious Cases in Domino City

Summary:Multiple deaths.  Supernatural insanity.  And not enough proof to show how it all happened. 

This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we dive into the series of inexplicable events that took place ten years ago in Domino City.

Two men sat at their desk, papers stacked in front of them.  Ryan sat on the right, trying to hold back a grin, and Shane was leaning back in his seat.

"This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we're diving into a series of inexplicable events that took place over about a year in Domino City, about ten years ago."  Ryan says, and Shane glances at him.

"And all of these," Ryan said, clearly enjoying himself as Shane began to frown, "are connected back to one Yugi Mutou."

"Wait, Yugi Mutou?"  Shane paused.  "That's the Duel King. isn't it?"

"Yup.  I'm surprised you know about Duel Monsters."

Shane sighed.  "Before we get started, I don't believe any of those rumors that it was designed by aliens or that the cards are possessed by spirits or anything like that.  Now go on."

"For those of you that don't know-"

"I.E. those of you living under a rock."

"Thank you, Shane.  Duel Monsters is a collectible card game that has taken the world by storm, and the best duelists have risen in fame to be celebrities, such as Mutou Yugi, Kaiba Seto, Jonouchi Katsuya, and Kujaku Mai."

"Wait.  How come they're all Japanese?  I thought this game started in the United States."

"It's taken off in Japan.  But there is another reason why all of the most famous duelists are Japanese.  Two of the most high-profile tournaments were held in or near Japan."

"So Domino City.  Hometown of Kaiba, Mutou, and Jonouchi.  Also home to one Domino High School, which is arguably the worst high school in the world."

Okay but like

Aren't all high schools the worst

This high school...look

It was something

"High schools aren't created equal in awfulness," Ryan said, "and Domino High School had it all.  Even though Rintama, a nearby school, was known to be the one for gangsters, Domino High School had more bullies than a football team, ludicrous levels of violence that everyone just...got away with, including murder, and cartoonishly evil teachers.  I cannot overstate that last bit."

"I feel like I'm going to regret asking this," Shane looked at the camera, "but how bad was it?"

"We're gonna talk about the murdered student later," Ryan said, "but one of the teachers was named Ms. Chono.  She expelled fifteen students in six months.  Among the student body, she was called the Wicked Witch of Expel."

Are you kidding me?  The Wicked Witch of Expel?

Who came up with that?

Wheeze

No really like

Did she just really hate her students

If so, why become a goddamned teacher if you hate kids?

Why?

In what world does that make sense?

And who let her get away with that?  Doesn't someone have to check over expulsions?

Shouldn't somebody be like why the hell are you expelling so many students?

So basically

All the others teachers sucked too, she just sucked the most

And apparently the principal had a crush on her

And also she would go on dates just to reject men apparently

What?  Are you kidding me?

She's like a caricature of an evil teacher from a kid's show!

I did say cartoonishly evil teachers

"But it doesn't end there.  Time to get to the juicy bits."

"Again, all of the weird shit about to go down centers on Yugi Mutou.  One kid with dyed and spiked hair-"

"His hair could be an Unsolved episode on its own.  Yugi insists it's natural in every interview where he has been asked but I refuse to believe that."  Shane said.  A picture flashes across the screen.  "His hair is three colors!  Three!  Colors!"

"That's only the start of the weirdness," Ryan said seriously.  "He was also short, geeky, and into games and puzzles."

Or in other words

He had a target painted on his back for all bullies

A kick me sign.

One student described it as

If there was a bully within a short distance of Yugi

They would find him, specifically

And they would bully him

This apparently happened outside of school too

Of course it did

"Now according to what testimonies we have from Domino High students-I've asked Yugi Mutou's close friends and even the man himself about this, by the way."  Ryan said.  "All of them refused to answer questions about this in particular."

"And you think that's because they're hiding something rather than because they don't want to be on a show that will accuse them of murder or being aliens."

"It's suspicious!"  Ryan insisted.

"Sure it is."

Ryan frowned at his co-host.  "Moving on," Ryan said, "two of the first of his many, many bullies were Hiroto Honda and Jonouchi Katsuya."

"Wait, what?"  Shane frowned.  "Duelist Jonouchi Katsuya?  That Jonouchi?"

"Both of these two ended up becoming his best friends."

WAIT

So these guys like beat him up

Bully him

And then yugi is like haha

It's fine we're friends now.

According to domino high students

That is exactly what happened

"Most Domino High students were mystified at what they described as a sudden change in Jonouchi's behavior, though Honda was apparently more reluctant to befriend Yugi.  But this sudden change occurred at the same time as the first of our inexplicable events."

"And you think they're connected."

"I know they're connected."  Ryan cleared his throat.  "At Domino High, Tetsu Ushio was the hall monitor, known for his physical strength that intimidated pretty much everyone, including the teachers."

"I'd be more scared of his eyebrows."  Shane said.  "Those things are ginormous."  A picture of the man flashed across the screen and confirmed that his eyebrows were indeed giant.

"Ushio would find the kids that were bullied often and offer to help them out with their bullies."

"That sounds noble, but the way you say that…"

"He would then force the victims to pay for his services and then brutally beat them if they didn't pay up."

"I knew it.  And since this story is going oh so predictably...he tried it on Yugi, with the bullies being Jonouchi and Honda."

"Stop stealing my lines!  But yes.  What we know after this is...a lot more sketchy.  We know that Yugi ended up standing up for Jonouchi and Honda, cementing the beginnings of what would be a lifelong friendship.  We know that Yugi was beaten up for not paying.  But...and here's where the weirdness shows up."

"Finally.  Hit me."

"The next day after this at school, Ushio was found playing with garbage and dead tree leaves and calling them money."

Wait WHAT

Predictable NOW, shane?

Okay fine that was a turn I didn't expect

So he was hallucinating garbage to be money?

Wait if this was at school so did everyone just see him

Hoarding garbage or something

Like how would you even respond to that?

What do you mean?

So there's this terrifying bully and he's holding garbage

And he tells you it's money

And you're just like, yup!  It sure is money!

Please don't hurt me

wheeze

It probably happened that way

"Before we get to the theories, we have to go over some other incidents."

Shane leveled a stare at Ryan.  "Wasn't this just a psychotic break?"  Ryan shook his head.

"The incident with Ushio was only the beginning of the mysterious incidents that began to plague Domino High School.  After this, bullies at Domino High started going mad.  All of them in ways that seemed karmically designed to punish them."

"For instance, a TV director who filmed at Domino High and filmed Yugi getting bullied-the footage has his face censored out but not the hair so it's plainly obvious who it is-was blinded and sees nothing but digital mosaics, the same used in the film to censor Yugi's face."

"That could still be a coincidence."

Ryan pulls out a clipboard.  "Sozoji, bullied people into going to his music recitals that were described as being so painful and loud that one student was sick for three days afterwards.  Sozoji now hears his own heartbeat in his ears so loud he's practically deaf.  Then.."  Ryan's eyes fall on the next name on the list.

"Then, since we're going in chronological order-"

"We are?"

"Next comes the murdered kid."

"Oh.  Wait.  Are we accusing Yugi of murder?"

Ryan paused..  "Maybe?"

"Brilliant.  I look forward to getting sued."

"So the story of the murder begins with Domino High's school festival.  Yugi's class had pulled a popular spot out of the lottery, and then seniors, led by one Goro Inogashira, came, beat them up, and took the spot."

"And they didn't get punished for that?"

"See earlier note about getting away with murder."

"God, this high school really is the worst."

"The seniors who took over were making okonomiyaki, which is like a savory pancake.  It's been called Japanese pizza."  Ryan said, gesturing with his arms in a circle.

"And this is relevant how?"

"The seniors put the grill they were using for the okonomiyaki in the festival spot.  Traces of explosives and the senior classroom's leader's remains were later found on the grill."

"What the fuck."

"He was blown up with his own grill."

"I repeat.  What the fuck."

"The school festival continued."

Shane stared at Ryan.  Ryan was looking down at his notes.  Slowly Shane put his head down on the table.  "Tell me there's not more.  There is.  Isn't there."

"Altogether, there's about 13 incidents that we know of, two of them taking place during Duelist Kingdom.  Not at all of them are as firmly connected to Yugi as these though."

"Like what?"

"Well, Ms. Chono got hit with this and ran out of a classroom screaming.  A producer started insulting the audience on air while Jonouchi was competing on a competition show, resulting in the producers going bankrupt and being unable to pay the prize."

Wait so Jonouchi won

And then they went bankrupt

So he never got the prize

I feel bad for that guy

If it was Yugi who did it

I can just picture him

Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly

Ooops, Jonouchi!

I didn't mean to cheat you out of-let me check

One million yen

wheeze

What's that in dollars?

About 95000 dollars

Shit

That's a pretty good payday

I would not have forgiven yugi for that

That's fair

"And a shop owner was poisoned with his pet scorpion."

"Wait, what's the connection for that last scene?"  Shane muttered into the table.

"The shop owner found some of his shoes missing afterwards, and while we don't have any direct links proving Yugi was at this scene, buuuut we do have the testimony of a Domino High School student, who stated the following…"

"Jonouchi bragged about those stupid Air Muscle shoes for days afterwards."

"Guess what shoes were missing?"

"Air Muscles."

"Got it."

"That is a really weak connection."

"It's possible!"  Ryan protested.  "But think about it Shane.  13 incidents in which people were...punished, for lack of a better word, in a karmic fashion that all relate back to one Yugi Mutou."

Shane opened his mouth.  Then closed it.  "And you have theories?"

"Oh yeah I have theories.  And none of them involve aliens for once."

"Theory One.  Yugi is our metaphorical Carrie."

"As in the Stephen King novel?"

"Think about it!  Outcast, bullied, then their enemies are killed or maimed or driven insane or what have you through inexplicable means."  Ryan crossed his arms.  "You can't tell me there aren't parallels there."

"Yes, but then Yugi would have to have psychic powers."  Shane said dryly.  "And psychic powers don't exist."

"Really?  Then what's your explanation?  They can't all have coincidental mental breakdowns.  Remember, Goro Inogashira was murdered.  With the traces of explosives on the scene, there's no way it was an accident."

"Yes, but you're forgetting one thing."  Shane said.  "Carrie did all of that on purpose because she was vindictive and spiteful.  Whereas Yugi is apparently Mr. My Best Friends Were My Bullies."

Ryan raised a finger before lowering it.  "He could have lost control of his powers."

"But if he'd lost control there'd be less signs of intent.  All of the punishments were designed-the extortionist hallucinated money, the TV producer mosaics, and the horrible singer was driven deaf by sound."  Shane says.  "That shows intent and purpose.  Not what you'd expect if somebody lost control.  And that still wouldn't explain Inogashira.  Explosives means he didn't blow a guy up with his mind."

Ryan nodded.  "The explosives were taken from a chemistry lab."

Shane stared at Ryan.  "They had explosives lying around?  God.  The question is why haven't more students been murdered."

"Anyways," Ryan said, "that's the first theory.  Theory Two ties in with my first and it is:Yugi had a second personality."

Shane stood up and started walking away.

"Wait!"  Ryan cried.  "I have evidence for this, I swear."  Shane walked back, a long-suffering look on his face.

"This better be good."

"So, Yugi Mutou is most famous for participating in the Duelist Kingdom and Battle City tournaments, which," Ryan added, "could both get an episode of their own.  Half of the finalists in Battle City were hospitalized.  In Duelist Kingdom...between Yugi's incidents, other murders on the island-"

Wait wait wait

Other murders???

Okay so

A total of about ten people were murdered at Duelist Kingdom by my count

…

TEN?!?!

Why haven't I heard about this before?

It was covered up by Industrial Illusions

Only one death was reported to the public

Maximilion Pegasus

His eye was ripped out

That sounds disgusting

If it helps it was his prosthetic eye

It actually does

So it's okay to rip someone's eye out as long as it's a fake eye?

Shut up

"Duelist Kingdom had ten casualties.  One of which was Maximilion Pegasus, who died after his match with Yugi Mutou.  Another was "Bandit" Keith Howard, who was found shot through the head.  It is possible that this was a suicide, since Keith was known to show symptoms of depression, but this cannot be confirmed.  No bullet was found at the scene of the crime, and so no guns can be reliably linked to the crime through rifling marks.  The other eight were found after the tournament had ended and information of their deaths were only released to the public four years after the tournament. Those duelists had been hanged on the island, and afterwards all attempts at investigation were stifled by Industrial Illusions."

"Also during Duelist Kingdom, there were two incidents with the previous M.O.  The first was a man who thought he was being controlled by a puppet.  The second was a man who hallucinated being hanged himself, suggesting that this was a karmic punishment for the murders he had committed.  He also later confessed to those crimes while he had been hospitalized for injuring himself."

So there were at least three murderers on this island

The guy hanging people

The guy driving people insane

And the guy ripping out people's eyes

And a maybe-suicide maybe-murder

This is just crazy.

We haven't even gotten to Seto Kaiba and his connection to Yugi

Or Battle City

Or

Look

A lot went down at Duel monsters tournaments

Why do people go there then?

Like stop going to duel monsters tournaments

Apparently if you make it to the finals you have a one-in-two chance of being hospitalized

Fame

Fortune

And you could just get off on it

Is that your theory Ryan?

People are like

Oh I could get murdered

Finally a game with high enough stakes to turn me on

Wheeze

It's possible

"Okay, but I was promised evidence of a split personality.  You haven't delivered."

"I'm getting there," Ryan said.  

"And how come more people haven't talked about this story?"  Shane asked.  "Three murderers at a single tournament?  Come on!"  Shane started muttering.

"Cover up."  Ryan deadpanned.  "What else could it be?"

Shane groaned.

"Also, this tournament...was fishy.  For one thing, half of the finalists hadn't even been invited to the tournament."

Shane's groans grew more pained-sounding.  "Of course they weren't," he muttered.

"Yugi invited Jonouchi along, and he placed second, with Yugi himself being first.  But I've spoken to some of the duelists at the tournament, who saw Yugi duel firsthand.  All of them state that Yugi was a completely different person when he dueled.  Take, for instance, Insector Haga's testimony, who reported that Yugi told him to 'Get off the island, insect, or I'll pull off your legs one by one!'  Which is to say the least, uncharacteristic of him."

Shane banged his head into the table.  "God help me, your theories are making sense to me.  Maybe I've been driven mad too."

"So yeah.  If Yugi had a split personality, he was apparently crueler than the original Yugi, and it's this personality that developed the powers and hurt those people."

Shane raised his head before slumping back onto the table.

"But that's not the last theory I have."  Ryan smiled.

"This is the most insane of them all, isn't it."

"Theory Three.  Yugi was possessed by a ghost."

"Of course we're going back to possession now."

Two images appeared on the screen.  One was of Yugi.  The second was of Yugi dueling.  "Yugi has red eyes when he duels."

It could be contact lenses

Red eyes

Come on

That's possession if I've ever seen it

Or it could be red contact lenses to go with his already weird taste

Like look at what he's wearing

He's wearing a fucking collar

He would absolutely wear red contact lenses

Okay probably

But this theory has more evidence going for it

Sure it does.  Even though ghosts don't exist.

You're in de-nile

Did you just-

Another image popped up onto the screen.  "This was an exhibit at the Domino City Museum on ancient Egypt, featuring exhibits about the reign of the Nameless Pharaoh.  Called that because we have no idea what his name is.  Notice anything-or should I say anyone-familiar?"

"That's Yugi Mutou's hair."  Shane said.  "I'd recognize those spikes anywhere.  And...that one facing him.  That's Seto Kaiba."

"And above them are the Dark Magician and the Blue-Eyes White Dragon."

"Wait, what?  I don't see a dragon.  Do you mean that clawed thing?"

"It's not very detailed, okay?  Go with it for now.  Those two are their favorite cards in Duel Monsters, the ones they are famous for using...and this is a 3000 year old tablet."

"Are we sure it's three thousand years old?"  Shane said.  "It could be a forgery.  I don't think carbon dating can be used on stone."

"It's been verified by several experts on ancient Egypt.  The one on the right was a pharaoh, and the other his high priest."

"And this relates to Yugi and Kaiba how?"

"Yugi is possessed by the ghost of the pharaoh, who delivers karmic justice because of the eye for an eye thing, and has magic powers because he's a ghost."  Ryan nodded, as if that made perfect sense.

It did not.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."

"Look at the carving of the pharaoh again.  At his chest."

"The weird triangle thing?"

"Now look at the photo of Yugi Mutou.  That pyramid around his neck.  He only started wearing it at around the same time that the weird incidents started.  And according to Yugi and some other experts I spoke to it's a genuine Egyptian artifact."

Wait wait what.  

This guy wears gold around his neck? 

Isn't that super heavy?  

and stupid to carry around a priceless artifact like that?"

If it's cursed, I guess it'd be able to protect itself from thieves.

Except curses aren't real!

Then what's your explanation?

…

You don't have one, do you?

No

But that doesn't mean any of your crazy theories are right

Shane sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose.  "Okay.  So.  All of what you said was completely batshit insane."

"But…"  Ryan prompted.

"But I can't say you're wrong."  Shane looked physically pained at having to say those words.  "I mean, the number of incidents means it can't be explained away as coincidence, there's no mundane explanation I can think of…"  Shane now looked like he was choking on a lemon.  "You might have a point."

"Yes!  And that has been recorded!  You can't deny you said it now, Shane."

"I said might, Ryan."

"Well, given that our best theory relies on psychic powers and Yugi and the others that would know aren't talking, we still have a lot of questions."

"Were these people driven mad by Yugi or someone else, purposefully or not?  Was Yugi haunted or did he want revenge for himself?  Who chose up the deaths of people in Duel Monster tournaments, and for what purpose?  Was it only to preserve a company's reputation, or was something more sinister at work?  And most importantly of all, is Yugi's hair dyed or not?  But despite all of our investigations, the people with answers have chosen to remain silent...and so this case remains unsolved."

[split-reality]

who am i?

26 / f / jane

i don’t know how to introduce myself. i don’t even know how to run a blog. i’m currently on my first few days of wellbutrin. truthfully, this blog is probably a symptom of the resulting mania.

i have an entire pharmacy in my room with meds i’m apparently supposed to dispose of. who can relate? my mom taught me not to throw anything away. she struggled with hoarding. we all struggled with it. she passed away from covid. 

other than the hoarding and childhood trauma, my mother was an amazing person. i am not being sarcastic when i say that either. i don’t know if i had it easy compared to my four older siblings, or if my childhood coping strategies of daydreaming, escapism, detachment, and splitting, preserved my loving feelings for her. but i love her. i always will. 

side note: who knew daydreaming was so dangerous? is daydreaming as a coping mechanism (split worlds) the root of splitting itself? daydreaming, if used as a way to cope, can cause idealization. daydreaming is also a primitive form of childhood play and spontaneity. the difference is that children who are just playing know how to return to their safe (just as “good”) world. what if play (spontaneity) in children is severely criticized and punished? the child then begins daydreaming excessively to the point of idealization and creates a safe “reality” in their mind where they get their needs met by idealizing love, attention, and affection from the people in their life. they then have an image of the “good” mom that is available with endless love and affection whenever they want it. their core being (spontaneous self) in the unsafe world (actual reality), is locked away to protect the underdeveloped child from conflicting feelings they cannot yet process. the split world divide causes the child to become more withdrawn, antisocial, and detached from their reality. the child might hallucinate or see things that aren’t there which explains lingering symptoms of psychosis in some adults with bpd. over time, when the child begins to understand what a core identity is (adolescence), they realize it is underdeveloped and no longer serves them. they try to resolve their core identity through spontaneous acts that mimic childhood play in order to work out this internal-external conflict. these activities (coping strategies) usually engage all the senses and the physiological result is strong enough to temporarily “snap out” of the split worlds they created. these activities can include sex, substances, and thrilling seeking. the question is, where does the child’s core identity go? is it locked away for safekeeping? does the child have an underdeveloped core identity that is put on pause? what prevents it from developing? would play therapy help adults with borderline personality disorder develop spontaneity? 

growing up, i did not have a close connection with my mother. the youngest of five siblings, my mom was too exhausted to pay much attention to me. the attention she gave me was very surface level. i learned quickly that acting out would get me noticed. any recognition was better than none at all. 

before my mom passed, i pressed her for details of “that time when” and laughed at my failed attempts of evoking love from her. she told me about the times i would cry because none of my siblings wanted to play with me. being the youngest, i just couldn’t understand the games that they played. all i could understand was that they wouldn’t. play. with. me. i would run over to the towers that they built out of wooden blocks, say “fuck this shit!” and kick them down. i was a shit kid. this is how my futile attempts at love made me the scapegoat in my family.

and i was good at it. i became the outlier. the hyperactive child who just will. not. stop. i became the outsider compulsively looking for a way back in. 

my mom often told me stories of my odd and downright disturbing behavior. 

there is one that stands out in particular. i was three years old. she said my eyes were as big and shiny as cherries when i looked at her and said, “mom, jane isn’t going to take this fork and stab herself in the eyes and twist to pluck them out. jane isn’t going to.” 

my frightened mother hugged me and said, “jane, why are you acting like this?” i then looked at her and said, “i’m not going to!” and started crying. most parents would take their kids to the nearest psychiatrist, but as a child of immigrant parents, my mental health was a figment of the imagination. a myth. a fake illness they use to lock you up and pump you with prescriptions. 22 years later, i was locked up anyway, my pupils big and glossy like cherries. this time from lexapro. 

my mom told me of another time when she came home from school, too tired and hungry to play with me. she said i took a big ass potato from the kitchen. this potato was not just any potato. it was as long as an iphone 12 pro max. and i said, “i’m going to throw this potato and hit you!” she asked me why. perfectly reasonable question. i looked up at her and said, “because no one loves me, mama.” 

i asked my mom if my dad ever dropped me. perfectly reasonable question given the circumstances. she said he didn’t drop me, but he did lose me once. 

my mom claimed she loved and cared for everyone the same. i believe that was precisely the problem. she did not recognize our core being, our individualism. i don’t blame her. we were living in a bad neighborhood where, as a child, i would play and find needles on the ground. her hard work allowed us to get out of there. how could i find fault in that?  

side note: some might say that i’m making excuses for my mom. to be completely honest, i’m not sure if that’s the case. sometimes i wonder if i’m not fully processing my childhood anger and hurt lurking underneath. if it’s so deep, i can’t even reach it. more on that later. 

there are so many stories regarding my childhood antisocial, attention-seeking behavior but i just don’t have the energy to share. the only one that worth sharing is when i pretended to be mute for six months in preschool. 

my mom was called in for an appointment at the school. the teacher said, “what are you thinking? you wanted to fool us into thinking your child is normal? she has not spoken for six months!” baffled, my mom turned to me and said, “jane, why are you not talking?!” i said, “because i didn’t want to talk to them, mama.” my mom said the teachers turned pale. before then, not one peep had come out of me.

- jane (shit adult)

note: i know that there are few 26-year-olds named jane, okay? i get it. i couldn’t come up with a name. black and white thinking prevents me from making decisions for myself. no grey area results in a fear of failure and perfectionism to avoid it. 

another note: sorry to all the janes out there. i know you all still exist, but to be frankly honest, i don’t even know a jane. the name reminds me of morgue scenes from Law & Order SVU. 

maybe i’ll call myself olivia. 

[literaphobe]

Your fic reminded me of Catra telling Shadow Weaver “Use your magic… You've done it before! When you abandoned me at the Fright Zone, and you've ALWAYS been able to TRACK US, our whole lives.” Like how many times did those two try to find a moment alone, in private, to be able to be vunurable without showing weakness to the others only for HER to pop up and ruin it??? Can you imagine?

hi! this got a bit long. i wrote some thoughts on this under the cut and about how shadow weaver controlled adora using catra. spoilers for my fic! lmao 

ok so this ask tore me apart a bit. because when i was writing the shadow weaver catches the two soldiers scene i had this brief thought: what if shadow weaver did that intentionally?

and what i mean by that is. adora thinks she chances on shadow weaver reprimanding those two soldiers for kissing. she thinks shadow weaver has an intolerance for kissing. or that shadow weaver thinks kissing is deviant or something that horde soldiers should not deign to commit. which is why she gets so scared of losing catra that she breaks off their arrangement

but actually: shadow weaver couldn’t give less of a shit about those soldiers kissing each other. what bothered her was finding out adora and catra were kissing. because obviously she found out about it, likely saw them kissing in the locker room or saw them sneaking quick pecks while walking down corridors. catra and adora were so caught up in the euphoria of their kissing, the new layers of intimacy they found comfort in, that they fucking sucked at hiding it. of course they were Seen 

catra and adora kissing meant one thing to shadow weaver: her control over adora was compromised again. and in order to get that back she had to make it stop 

but the way she went about doing this. it wasn’t to scare adora and catra while they were kissing one day or to even take catra away from adora. it was to scare adora into once again, doing whatever it takes to keep catra safe. that has always been the main way shadow weaver controlled adora. she was never going to get rid of catra, because so long as adora loved catra, shadow weaver could use catra as a bargaining chip. it was always a matter of ‘if you don’t listen, if you aren’t perfectly good, if you don’t stay in line, catra will be taken away’ for adora 

and so that was her goal there. shadow weaver then staged/made a real incident, specifically to send adora a message. she reprimands and punishes the girls who kissed in the black garnet chamber, and then calls adora to report to the chamber about something horde related. adora sees shadow weaver punishing the two girls for the exact thing she is doing with catra, she sees them get forcibly split up, something she is afraid will happen to her and catra. so adora thinks she gets lucky by witnessing this. because in her mind, she can stop this from happening to her and catra if she takes this to the ninth degree. keeps Perfectly in line, and stops kissing catra. and also, because she had at that point been raised into thinking shadow weaver knew what right and wrong was for the most part, she thinks her and catra kissing is a bad, forbidden thing too. and even though she continues to desire it, she surrounds the activity with guilt. this is something she starts to unlearn when she defects from the horde

shadow weaver’s control over adora works by making adora think she can control the things that happen to her and those around her, that her actions can translate into something bad happening/not happening. it is why her hyper responsibility is like that, it is why she ends up blaming herself for everything that happens around her. because shadow weaver made her believe adora was personally responsible for getting to stay with catra, and that her behavior translated into the cards she was dealt

it is like how parents will threaten to take away a child’s comfort item as a way to make them behave, or how adults will take away a child’s comfort item and then make the child blame themselves for losing said comfort item. it is very sinister and a very silent but deadly way of traumatizing a child (for me, i would just get my stuff stolen by my mom and she would act as if nothing was wrong while i had breakdowns. the silent bit for adora is that shadow weaver will say ‘sweet’ words like ‘adora... you must keep catra in line’ in that Tone that’s acting gentle but the words are so violent). and yes, that’s part of how shadow weaver traumatized adora, and thats how it translates here in my fic