#parenting advice

[forestpixies]

no actually you’re either gentle parenting your child or you’re being emotionally and/or physically abusive to them, whether or not you’re aware of that.

because the term gentle parenting already includes discipline and teaching your kid right from wrong. gentle parenting doesn’t mean you can’t tell your kid no. it means you can tell them no when they do something they shouldn’t, but instead of punishing or yelling at them, you’re explaining and giving them reasons why they can’t do that, you are helping them learn and encouraging them to be better. gentle parenting means you’re using reasons built on mutual respect instead of anger. because yes, no matter how young your child is, they deserve respect too.

I’m sorry but most of the times when someone says they’re a strict parent, what it means is that they give their child childhood trauma that’ll last a lifetime, whether or not they’re aware of it. especially parents who brag to other people about how strict they are and how they punished their children.

and I’m sorry but saying you have a short temper is never an excuse to be emotionally and/or physically abusive towards your kid either.

“I yelled at you because I have a short temper” then why am I the one suffering? if you can’t control your anger, then get help. work on it. do better. be better.

also… your child standing up for themself against you, when you’re being abusive to them, isn’t them being disrespectful towards you. it means they are defending themself because you wouldn’t do that for them and so they had to step in and be their own protector.

if you’re a parent and can defend and stand up for yourself when you feel like you need to, but at the same time punish your kid when they stand up for themself against you, then you are the problem.

I was that child and I’m gonna make it as simple as I can for any parent out there — because no kid deserves to go through what I went through — imagine yourself owning a dog. really. you can either

a.) beat that dog whenever they do something wrong and simply take your anger out on them until they’re fully submissive and are terrified of you

or

b.) train them with love and gentleness and earn their love and loyalty in return

now imagine both A and B dogs on leashes and imagine them no longer being on leashes one day. which dog do you think will run away as far as they can and never look back, and which one do you think will stay because they love and want to be with their owner?

[bootleg-nessie]

A quick tip for all of you new/aspiring parents out there: don’t feed your baby poison. This is against the law.

[ineffectualdemon]

In light of the Colleen Ballinger situation I want to offer my advice on keeping your kids safe online as a parent

DISCLAIMER: This works for my family with my child. YMMV as every child is different and has different development needs. This is just what we do that works for us

1. Start off by making it clear you're on your kids side by showing trust in them and making yourself safe to come to

This doesn't mean leaving your kids unsupervised or just taking what they say as face value. I mean telling them that you trust them you don't trust strangers on the internet and that's why you need to supervise

Back when my kid was going online and watching online content for the first time the rule was no headphones and in the room with us. But we always always explained that while we trusted Kiddo we did not know the adults online and they had to earn our trust.

Alongside that we have always always made it clear that if they come across something that makes them uncomfortable or someone messages them and makes them uncomfortable they can come to us and we will never be angry with them.

Even if they sought out content that they know they shouldn't or went on parts of the internet clearly not meant for children because they are curious. They will not be punished. We will have a discussion about choices and decisions and there may be consequences but no one will be angry and there will be no punishment. This has made Kiddo feel safe coming to me with stuff

2. If possible instead of outright banning explain why you don't approve of something

I believe banning stuff just makes sneaky kids.

Kiddo was, when they were much younger, watching a family channel. Not any of the famous ones but I was still uncomfortable after a few videos. So I said that which led to this conversation.

Kiddo: why?

Me: I feel like they are kinda exploiting their kids

Kiddo: but the kids seem to like making the videos

Me: yeah but this seems to be a full time thing. They make a LOT of videos and when do the kids get to rest? What about school? What about privacy? It just feels kinda icky to me and I think the parents should be prioritising letting their kids be kids

Kiddo finished watching the video they have paused when I started talking about and really thought about what I said. After that they chose not to watch that family anymore

I didn't tell them they couldn't and I didn't keep saying it. I explained my thoughts and let my kid process my argument and come to their own conclusion

3. Have an ongoing discussion about parasocial relationships and healthy boundaries

We have talked a lot about how we understand that watching a YouTubers especially feels like you're talking to a friend or that you have a relationship with them and are invested in their private life. Because it is much different and more intimate way of connecting with an audience

But they are not your friends and they don't know who you are. And that's not a bad thing but it is something you have to keep in mind when you're online. But I really think it helps to enter these discussions by understanding why it feels so personal

4. Warn them that online "challenges" have potential to be cover for something more nefarious

We told kiddo an edited version of this but comedian Katherine Ryan tells a story about how she got tricked into making inflation porn by some guy who told her it was for a radio contest

Taking part in challenges are risky not only for that reason but can also be physically dangerous (see: the cinnamon challenge)

5. Let them have as much privacy as possible while still being safe

My kid is now 14. We have rules in place for who they can talk to online (they need to know at least one person in irl and they can't DM anyone they haven't met face to face. We need to be aware of who they are chatting to and where online they are doing it)

We also have rules for what social media they can have and what they can post to it and who the can follow

But we don't go through their phone and read their messages

Because we have established trust and being a safe place with Kiddo they are very open with what's in their phone anyway. I don't have to snoop to find out about their life. The tell me shit

6. Remind them that the internet is forever and going viral isn't necessarily a good thing

I really recommend playing Rebecca Black's Friday for them and then play this video about how that impacted her:

And then have a discussion about how difficult and humiliating going through something like that could be (this is also good for teaching compassion)

So that's it!

That's all the advice I got at the moment. It's not perfect and I'm sure I've forgotten stuff but I really think it's important to establish as soon as you can that this isn't a power battle between you and your child where you don't trust them and suspect them. If you can lead from "I trust you, I just don't trust strangers on the internet and I have a job to protect you from sketchy strangers" then I think it makes the rest easier

But again I am not an expert I am just a parent and this is my experience

Is my kid still cooking? Yes

Does that mean you should take my advice with a heaping teaspoon of salt? Probably

But we're doing pretty good with Kiddo so it seems to be working atm. If it stops working I will update this and also change our direction

[maitaiwiththecorpses]

Things That People With Kiddos Should Know As Someone With Kiddos

This is by no means an extensive list of things parents/guardians/caretakers should know and take into account when raising and taking care of kids, nor is this telling you how to run a household or parent, however, from my experience, these things can make your life SO MUCH EASIER and make the relationship with your kiddos and you much smoother. I'm mostly going to be focusing on more adolescent-specific topics, but a lot of this advice can be applied to kids of all ages. Some of these things that I mention might work perfectly for you and your kiddos, and some of them might not. Some of them you might have to practice working on or modify them to fit your situation. Not everything on here is golden for everyone, and not everything on here is trash either. What works for one situation might not work for another.

With that being said, let's get to it.

Take your kids clothes shopping in person as much as possible. Make them try everything that they pick on. Kid's measurements are weird and are going to be changing drastically throughout their lives. Find the clothes they like and fit into in person and buy them online for cheaper (or in person. Whatever floats your boat)

Do not waste money on surprises unless you know FOR A FACT that they're going to like it! What does for a fact mean? Well, they've either explicitly stated that they want the item, or dropped some obvious as hell hints! Do not go guessing and buying based on what you think they'll like, or what you like. That's setting you, and your kid up for failure.

Be interested in things they're interested in. Your kid likes Taylor Swift? Cool! Your reaction should be "awesome, you wanna listen to the Era's Tour setlist in the car?" or, "what's your favorite album, let's listen to it together!"

Similarly, if your kiddo creates (art, music, poetry, stories, crafts, woodwork, videos, coding, etc,.) BE INTERESTED IN THAT. Consume their work! Show interest in it! Ask to read their writing, ask to see their art, ask to listen to their compositions. They might not say yes, but make it clear that you want to, and that's something that excites you. This will bring your kiddo joy.

DO NOT. AND I REPEAT. DO NOT. BELITTLE THEIR INTERESTS. Remember: You were once a kid with wacky interests, too. Kids are always searching for validation, whether they exhibit it or not. And even if they aren't? It's just a dick move to make fun of them for something they like.

buy pencils, pens, and notebooks in bulk. You'll need them.

Oh, and sticky notes.

If your kiddo comes to you for help of any kind, academic or otherwise, you damn well help them. "I need help studying for my math test tomorrow," ok, whaddya struggling with? How can I help? Do you just need a body double here, or should I do some problems with you?

give them notes. In their lunches, on their desks, in presents, on the fridge- hell, stick it on their doors! It doesn't have to be anything long- just a simple "morning!" or, "have a great day!" works, too.

Tell them you love them and that you're proud of them. Regularly. I know there are some people who think that makes their kids soft but I assure you, you're doing the exact opposite. By building your kids up, and regularly telling them that you love them and are proud of them, they know that they are valued and worthy and loved. This will set them up for success later in life and make them emotionally intelligent and flexible. Also, kids don't hear it enough these days.

They're going to see some scary shit. You can't avoid it. This past year I had to report three attempted suicides and many more cases of self-harm that came from other peers and people I was very close to. I initially was not processing the fact that someone so close to me was hurting themselves or trying to kill themselves, and the reporting process (sometimes even involving police) was extremely traumatizing. When I finally did cry, it came days later, and even today someone might say the name of one of these people and I will immediately shut down and change my whole demeanor. And I know our kiddos are experiencing these things, so please, be there for your kids and always tell them that telling adults when someone they know is hurting themselves or trying to end their life is important and could save their friends and loved ones.

Be prepared for your kids to have some kind of mental illness or learning disability. Do not try and gaslight them by saying that it's "all in their heads" (no shit?) or that they're "making things up." take everything seriously. "Mom, I think I have adhd," alright, let's see a doctor and do some research. "Tia, I'm so tired all the time and I just want to disappear," darling, that's not healthy, that's a sign of depression- you're important and loved, how about we set up a session with a therapist so you can talk to someone about these feelings who can help you better than I can?

Always be prepared to help your kiddos and reach out to licensed professionals who can help them.

carry snacks with you everywhere. And not that healthy shit, either. Within your kid's eating restrictions, get something like a chocolate chip granola bar or a Reese's cup and stick it in your going-out bag. It will save your life when hungry time comes around.

Don't be surprised if your kids are queer in some shape or form. Support them, love them unconditionally, make sexuality puns as needed ("if you're not dating anyone rn, does that mean you're on stand-bi?") and do your own research in regard to sexuality and gender.

help them get ready for school dances and stuff. Makeup, hair, clothes, pickup lines, the whole ordeal. I promise you they're going to love you for it.

Make the puberty/sex talk a casual yet thorough thing. You want to cover all the information, but you don't want to make it so uptight that they never want to talk about it again or ask any questions. Pull up diagrams, do the whole shebang, but make it clear that they don't have to memorize everything in that very moment. Questions are ok, even after the fact.

Take them to the library.

For all your menstruating kiddos out there, stock up on pads and tampons and anything else they use every month/every other month depending on how much they use. Don't make it seem like a hassle, don't make difficult, just do it without question. If they tell you they like a certain brand or type/size/etc, adhere to that and respect it. Menstruating is uncomfortable as is, don't make it worse by not listening to your kid's needs.

Give them this thing I like to call Cuddle Days (or sensory overload days, or Overstimulated, Get Me Outta Here days). These are the kinda days that can show up on weekends after a long week and basically it's a ton of movies, pillow forts, blankets, and comfort food. And lots of cuddles, of course.

Don't guilt trip them for existing having needs. Your kids are going to need a lot and do a lot and they are grateful, but it just feels weird to express that feeling of gratitude as a teenager.

And, most importantly, let them be kids. Let them have pillow fights, and roll on the grass. Hang fairy lights up and tell them stories. Giggle about their crushes with them, and paint your nails together. Play Mario Cart and eat takeout together. Kids are so complex and amazing and it would be a shame if we took away the part about being kids in the process of them growing up, because one day they're not gonna be our babies anymore.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Emily Prentiss x daughter reader

Request from Ao3

Request: Hi! Can you please do a one-shot with Emily Prentiss x daughter reader where y/n gets into trouble at school for the first time (maybe she'd been bullied and finally just hit the bully out of reaction? Whatever is fine) and Emily had mixed feelings on how to deal with it? Thanks! (y/n is 11 btw) just angst with a fluffy ending?

Summary: Emily prentiss' daughter gets into her first fight at school wuth a bully, Emily gets called in and doesn't know how she should punish her daughter so when she gets to work she askes JJ and Hotch as they are also parents, Her daughter is 11

Third perosn pov...

It was supposed to be a normal day for Y/N Prentiss but of course for the 11 year old her school day was about to become worse.

It all started at morning break, Y/N was swinging on the swings when she was shoved off from behind, angry thrbgirl stands up and turns around.

When she did she saw Lucy one of the many girls who had for some reason decided at the start of the year that Y/N was her punching bag.

But this time Y/N had enough, she hated lying to her Mum about all the bruises she gets when she gets home from school.

Y/N crosses her arms and glares at the girl  "What now Lucy?" She asks, this surprises the other girl as she had never been spoken back to before by anyone.

The little brat of a child glares back at her usual punching bag "Oh what's this the punching bag can talk, what a surprise" she says mockingly

Y/Ns knuckles turns white, she was trying and failing to hold herself back from punching Lucy, she had training from her Uncle Derek just incase an unsub kidnapped her or for instances jsut like this.

Y/N stands her ground and stares back at Lucy, hoping her face would betray how scared she actually felt standing up for herself and everyone who was a victim to bullying.

"I'm not at stupid as you Lucy, at least I actually work hard and don't have my many many servants to do my work for me" talks back Y/N

This made Lucy even more pissed off, the cocky girl crossed her arms as pissed off look on her face. "Well at least I have a dad who loves me-" the 11 year old barely finished her taunt before she was tackled by Y/N.

The girls eyes were filled with anger as every punch and kick hits it mark, Lucy's screams were heard throughout the playground s she was attacked by Y/N. "You forget princess, I've been trained by FBI agents" Says Y/N with every punch not stopped her attack on the bully.

As Lucy's screams increased the group of cheering students didn't notice the teachers coming their way and breaking up the fight, Y/N was grabbed from behind and pulled away from Lucy.

Said girl was on the ground still covering her face with her arms as the attack stopped, Y/N struggled in the arms that grabbed her, suddenly the sound of the principal stopped her struggling

"Detention both of you and I'm calling both of your parents" he exclaimed as Y/N was walked to the nurses office to get her cuts looked at.

As least she wasn't as hurt as Lucy was, the little girl had cits and bruises all over her face, she also had a broken nose which Y/N was proud of.

All though Lucy did get some good punches in Y/N had a black eye and a spilt lip and was also covered in cuts and bruises, it took a while until both girls were covered up and sent to the Pricipalz office.

With Emily...

Emily Prentiss was nervous as she pulled up to her daughter's school. She had received a call from the principal informing her that her daughter was involved in a fight and the principal wanted Emily to come in to discuss it. Emily took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come.

As Emily entered the principal's office, she saw her daughter slumped in a chair, head down, not daring to meet her mother's eye.

The principal began by explaining what had happened. It seemed her daughter was being bullied by another girl and had finally had enough. She had gotten into a physical altercation with the bully.

Emily silently took it all in, a storm of emotions raging inside her. Part of her wanted to hug her daughter and tell her that she understood. But part of her was also angry, worried and scared. How should she punish her daughter?

When she returned to work, she approached JJ and Hotch, both of whom were also parents. She asked them what they would do in her situation.

JJ gave her a sympathetic look before launching into a long and winding tale about how her own daughter had once been involved in a fight.

She then explained how she'd more or less let it slide, acknowledging that her daughter had been in a tough spot and did what she felt she needed to do to stand up for herself.

At the end of JJ's story, Hotch added his own point of view. He said that while violence wasn't the answer, he agreed with JJ that in this situation there was nothing to be gained from punishing her daughter too harshly.

He suggested instead that she have a calm and rational discussion with her daughter about her actions and make sure she understood why violence was never the right course of action.

Emily nodded in agreement with what they said. She thanked them both for their help and headed home, ready to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her daughter.

Even though the situation had been difficult, she was glad that she had the support of her colleagues, both of whom had offered her sound advice as a parent.

The end!

I hope you liked this oneshot for Emily I love writing for her, any way as always so sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1055

[pro-birth]

Friendly reminder that sleeping with your infant is normal outside of the US, they have lower SIDS rates, AND there is a safe and unsafe way to co-sleep. This website is filled with information and research, so refer here if you have questions, concerns, or wish to know about infant sleep options.

[malencholic-nyx]

Dear Parents, I Need More Than Just Food and Clothes

⚠️Warning (send this to your parents at your own risk) 😂😂

Intro–

As a child, I rely on my parents for everything, from food and shelter to emotional support and guidance. However, sometimes they focus too much on meeting my basic needs and forget that I need more than just material things to thrive. In this post, I want to call out parents for their mistakes and remind them that I need more than just food and clothes to feel loved and supported.

1. Emotions and Support

I understand that you are busy and have your own problems to deal with. But please remember that I'm going through a lot too. I have emotions, feelings, and struggles that I need your help to deal with. I need you to be there for me when I'm feeling down, listen to me when I'm talking, and offer practical help when I need it. Please don't dismiss my feelings or tell me to "just get over it" - that doesn't help anyone. Instead, try to understand where I'm coming from, offer words of encouragement, and let me know that you're there for me.

2. Clear Communication

Please don't assume that you know what's going on in my life or what I'm thinking or feeling. Ask me how I'm doing, listen to my answers, and take the time to understand my perspective. When I come to you with a problem, please don't dismiss me or tell me that I'm overreacting. Instead, validate my feelings, offer advice if I ask for it, and help me come up with a plan to solve the problem.

3. Respect and Boundaries

I know that you love me and want what's best for me, but sometimes your overprotectiveness can be suffocating. Please remember that I am growing up and need to learn to make my own decisions and mistakes. Please don't try to control every aspect of my life or invade my privacy. Instead, trust me to make good choices, respect my boundaries, and offer guidance when I ask for it.

I know that raising children is hard and that you're doing the best you can. But please remember that I need more than just food and clothes to feel loved and supported. I need emotional support, clear communication, respect, and healthy boundaries to thrive. So please, take the time to listen to me, understand my perspective, and show me that you're there for me when I need you. I love you and appreciate everything you do for me, but sometimes I just need a little more from you..

THANK YOU 🤍

—Nyx

[beenjen]

This is up for discussion. J and Lils school send out newsletters, random emails, and I was surprised to see this article attached to one -

Which I read because of the title.

It intrigued me. I see everyone talking about gentle parenting, but I don’t feel like I fit that camp because I have absolutely lost my shit with my kids. I hate that, and I come back to the table and tell them I’m working on being chill and what set me off, that I’m trying to do better and can we work together to make that happen. Not to blame them mind you, but because I want to be transparent where I can, and also, I’m TRYING to teach emotional ownership. I.e. you can’t control the situation but you can control your response. Owning your shit is important to me, and in this house.

I’ve recently adopted the mantra, ‘you can be mad but not mean’ - and if I’m honest, I’m not always awesome at it. I strive to not snap, and when I do, to immediately take a deep breath and stop right there, acknowledge it and move on. So it had me thinking about all of you, who I think are doing better than I am if I’m honest.

I see all the activities and conversations, and yes, I know it’s just a snapshot, but, am I alone in this? Some days are super hard. We are all busy; work, life, partners, homes, single parents, sick parents, you name it, all trying to balance, and how’re we doing? Personally, I sometimes feel like a complete nutter. I identified with the parents reporting they didn’t know what they were doing and felt out of control inside.

So, what are your thoughts on gentle parenting? What does that mean for you? Do you fall in that camp? Why? Why not? Is that the latest catch phrase or is it like mentioned, that we are just trying to do it differently than what we had?

I at least DO KNOW where my kids are.

Xx

[zenzeroruletheworld]

Teague to *6yo* jack: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

[docm77-twitter]

1/20/24

“Right now is a super interesting phase in the interaction with Doccy.

They are testing how much authority they have.

Example this morning: brushing teeth

Doccy refused, said wants to play now. After asking for a few times still refuses.

What I do then, give room for a short debate, but eventually I set limits and pick Doccy up and we go to the bathroom. Doccy would protest further but after joking around a bit, eventually brush teeth.

It is a very fine line. Kids test their limits, but you cannot yet give them full control. They need boundaries in a sense of points of orientation.

When I decide the debate is over now, it is important not to be overpowering. You can pick up the kid, do it without them feeling overwhelmed. Do it in a calm and loving way, not angry. There is no point in endless discussions.

For Doccy, this approach works really well. Simply offer a better solution like they do, they will understand.

We will quickly brush teeth, then I come and we play together. You just ate a honey toast, so it is extra important to clean the teeth. Ok? Good deal?

It is very important though, you offer this deal in the same time you enforce the end of the debate. It helps the kid a lot to feel less overpowered or helpless.

I don’t want to be strict and not allow any opposition. That will not help to build strong self-esteem and the abilities to debate successfully. You also cannot be debating endless because it will leave kids clueless in a super complex world with countless decisions to make.

Just sharing my experience here. By no means to tell people how to parent.

Doccy started recently with this “testing the boundaries”.

My idea is to show right from the start, how these debates will work between us in the hopes it will give Doccy guidance and so learns quickly what the boundaries are and moves on from this phase of development quickly.”

[demiplanardemagogue]

Parents, talk to your children about mad science. Tell them to apprentice to mentors who don't obsess over dark desires. Real scientists don't make dread golems. Mad science is bad science!

[bootleg-nessie]

Did you know babies have a power button? (The soft spot on their heads)

[ineffectualdemon]

Reminder to be nice to your kids and if they are being mouthy and kinda a jerk to sit them down and try to find out why they might be feeling that way

And especially be nice to your teenagers because their answer might just be because their emotions are all over the place just because at this point in their life thats just how things are for them because hormones and everything else and it's not something either if you can "fix"

They don't need to be told off and yelled at

They need kindness and compassion (and a reminder to not be mean) but also the space and tools to feel the tumble of emotions and to work through them at their own pace in a safe environment

Teenagers have it rough and they deserve kindess

[flavoracle]

[toruandmidori]

If you’re looking for some new togs for your headbanging tots, look no further.

We have a great range of cute, funny classic rock, grunge, hip hop and punk inspired onesies and baby band shirts for sale online! 

Baby onesies and shirts featuring silly, funny takes on iconic rock band logos. Great Christmas gifts for new parents! 

Check out the full range here, individual links below: 

THE RATTLES

MASSIVE HEAD: ACE OF BABES

LIL GREMLIN

DARK SIDE OF THE WOMB

[pro-birth]

A great list of ideas for disabled, chronically I’ll, pregnant, injured, and other parents who just need to lay down.