#people enjoy this kind of narrative much more these days than back then

[rondoel]

People who enjoyed Outer Wilds, I think you’d also like The Swapper.

It’s another indie space game with stunning visuals, beautiful music, fun puzzles and amazing existential narrative.

I remember the ending leaving longest lasting impression on me of any game I’ve ever played. Seriously shook me to my core.

Here’s my absolutely favourite piece of soundtrack as an incentive:

[ot3]

A while back there was a post going around about how you shouldn’t rate or leave negative comments in your bookmark tags on ao3 because the author could see it. But it kinda shows a weird discrepancy where the diehard fanfic folk want fanfic to be seen as a legitimate art form but also can’t handle criticism of it because “it’s for fun.” Anyway there’s fanfic I like but don’t think is particularly well done and I don’t think I can ever comment that without getting eaten alive on ao3

To add onto my last ask about criticism on fanfic. I think ultimately any piece of art you put out to the world is going to be criticized no matter what. And as any artist or writer you should probably prepare for that

i definitely agree that anything public is subject to criticism but i dont think that necessarily means it's a free for all. my stance in the case of hobbyist works is that you're allowed to be as critical as you like in your own spaces but if you're somehere where the creator is almost guarantee to see it, that's just kind of a dick move more than anything else. i dont think fanfiction is beyond criticism at all and am in fact constantly bitching about how i also think its almost all bad. but i also don't think its really productive or cathartic in any way to say this to peoples 'faces' so to speak.

i'm not super familiar with the ao3 bookmark system so i don't really know what the etiquette there but maybe its kind of analogous to tumblr tags, in the effect that it's supposed to be Your commentary and Your organization system but also op also has immediate access to it. i definitely don't think you should go around tagging people's art just to rag on it, so i dont think i'm super in favor for doing that in bookmarks either.

its lke if you were someone who doesnt exercise a lot and you got into jogging would you want some sort of Running Expert filming a tiktok directly next to you about how your form could be improved? i don't really think it would matter how constructive or well intentioned they were it would still probably kinda feel like shit. but then on the flipside i think they have a right to go home and post to their #RunningTok or whatever the fuck about how they hate these annoying mistakes beginners always make.

i agree that 'any artist or writer' should be prepared to deal with a level of negative feedback for their work. and the people who turn around and write a post about how fanfiction is important and transformative queer art one moment then follow it up with a post about how if you ever have anything bad to say it you're just being a nasty little hater and need to shut up are ridiculous. The 'let people enjoy things' crowd are easily one of the worst demographics on this website. But i think the level of negative feedback an artist or writer should be prepared to deal with is vastly different in the case of people who are Creating as their profession vs people who are doing it as hobbyists.

the amount of people who think they fanfiction theyre producing is Groundbreaking Literature and deserves to be lauded as such while also demanding no critique are a small but vocal minority. one that pretty much 1:1 overlaps with people who view Fandom as an identity rather than an activity. the rest are like... teens just starting to dabble with narrative writing or people with day jobs who think its fun to do every now and then.

[d4yd4iry]

Sweet Memories

Pairings: Kim Minji x fem!reader

Synopsis: When life gets too hard, you go down memory lane.

Genre: Fluff…?

Minji knew that she shouldn’t be overworking herself, but how could she not when there are thousands of people ready to critique her imperfections.

It didn’t help that she let them get to her head, making her focus too much on perfecting her moves rather than enjoying herself.

But no matter how perfect something is, people will always try to find flaws. That’s just human, but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay.

Due to the growing popularity of NewJeans, the group gained many fans but with fans, comes a bunch of jobless haters. Just a bunch of snakes, waiting for a victim to spit their venom at.

It so happened that Minji became one of their many targets. Endless of cruel words being said about her, words that are not true, words that have been exaggerated to fit the narrative that they view her as.

You would know, being in the same situation as her and as well as being her supporting pillar since your trainee days. You were one of the very few kind hearted people left, a pure soul who genuinely find beauty in everything.

These past few months have been stressful for the girls, but especially for Minji who’s the oldest of the 6. Because being the oldest means that she’ll always get more criticism from the public, even if she’s not the official leader.

You have seen how bad it gets on her bad days, she wouldn’t talk much, and keeps to herself a lot. And it hurts to see because your girlfriend have been hurting and you can’t do anything to stop the source of her sorrows.

“Minji, talk to me.”

Minji have been keeping to herself for way too long, she was like a ticking bomb just waiting to explode at any moment. Everyone was worried about her, especially you.

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.” Minji whispered as she laid on your shared bed covering herself with a blanket, with her back facing you.

You bit your lips, genuinely frustrated that you weren’t able to make her feel better. “Min, I know how hard it is for you to talk about your feelings…just know that I’m here to listen, just like what you did for me.”

She wasn’t responding but you knew that she was listening. You took a deep breathe before continuing. “Remember that night? February, 5th, 2019”

You were a trainee long before she joined the company, being one of the best trainee in the whole company.

You were all of the teacher’s favorite and was very popular amongst the trainees and staffs as well.

Minji first thought that a fellow trainee was exaggerating when they said that you were like an angel sent to earth, but soon after she met you, she could understand fully why people admired you so much.

You’re the most beautiful person she have ever met, both beautiful in and out. Many people have said that perfection doesn’t exist, but clearly they’ve never met you.

You would always be surrounded by trainees who were desperate to share a conversation with you, even a glance would make them fall on their knees.

You were very well spoken and your voice was angelic, people couldn’t help but shut themselves up whenever you talk.

But they’re also the same people who make up their own version of you. Never really intrigued enough to want to know you, the real you, and for the longest time, Minji was one of those people too.

All until one night, the night that changed everything.

[February, 5th, 2019]

It was late at night, almost everyone was out of the company by then and Minji was preparing to go too, having practiced for 8 hours straight, she was dying to enjoy the warmth of her bed.

Humming to herself as she strolled down the dark halls, chills suddenly went down her spine, the company was undeniably creepy during those times. Minji was praying that the rumored company ghost wouldn’t appear in front of her.

As she was about halfway to the elevator, sounds of someone crying reached her ears. Minji eyes went wide, heart pounding as she stopped her steps.

No this will not be how I did she thought

Minji really wanted to sprint to the elevator, maybe even jump down the flight of stairs, all to get away from the crying sound that she was sure that it’s the ghost

But her body was betraying her, her feet moving towards the room and before she could comprehend what had happened, her hands were already pushing the door to get into the room.

Minji felt her breath hitched as her eyes wandered onto the girl whose face was covered by the palm of her hands, but also feeling relieved that it wasn’t a ghost.

It was you, she could recognize you from a mile away. Probably because she spends too much time looking at your figure from afar whenever you guys are in the same room.

She felt a magnetic force pulling her towards you. Minji kneeled down and put her hands on your shoulders, you were startled at first but then your eyes soften when you realized that it was only her.

She felt her heart stop beating for a moment as she scanned your face, gosh you still looked gorgeous even while crying.

“Yn, are you okay?” To say that Minji was concerned would be an understatement, she herself doesn’t even know why her heart ached at how sad you looked.

“I wish I could say that I am, but that would be untruthful.” Your eyes were watery, an overwhelming amount of worries wandered your mind.

Minji eyes soften even more if that’s even possible, she softly caressed your hand. “I know we’re not close, and we don’t talk much either but you can talk to me.”

You took a deep breathe, you don’t know why but after looking into her genuine eyes, you felt like you could tell her anything and everything.

“It’s just that everything and everyone have been so overwhelming, the teachers they are always expecting the best out of me and are always putting so much pressure, I mean I thrive in pressure but it’s always way too much whenever they bragged and compared me to other trainees, and the other trainees…they talk. I don’t understand why I care so much about what they discussed about me, but I do. I don’t think they know that I heard what they’ve been saying about me either…”

“What have they been saying about you?”

“They talk behind my back, saying that I’m a show off, that I’m doing too much, desperate for attention, they call me names, they mock me…but the thing that I don’t understand is how could they be so different when they’re in front of me, they act as if we are friends, almost had me fooled…sorry for ranting to you, I just needed to get this out of my chest and thank you for listening it means a lot.”

All of the things you’ve said surprised her, for the longest time she thought that everyone loved you. How could she not when on the surface they would do anything to try to impress you, but if only she knew how two faced those people are.

Minji wished that she could beat the crap out of whoever talked bad about you, it disgusted her that even for an angel like you, they would still be able to make up shit to talk about.

She still couldn’t understand why would they think that way about someone like you, a person who never talked back to anyone, always too kind that may be deemed as a pushover, soft spoken, you were just too perfect for them and it makes you a threat.

“People are cruel and we can’t do anything about that, but you did not deserve to receive their cruelty.” Minji softly muttered as she used her palm to lift your face up, her eyes stuck onto yours.

“Yn, you are genuinely the kindest person I’ve known and I do not understand why people think it’s a good reason to step on you for that. But take my word when I say that you’ll be far more successful than them, they can stay mad, jealous, and miserable. But you are a star, you shine wherever you go, even in the darkest room, you’ll be able to shine. So cheer up, I miss your smile!”

For the first time in very long time, you finally felt genuinely happy, a smile slowly making way onto your face. “Aha! Come on get up, let’s go do something fun!” Minji felt proud of herself as she got you to get up with a smile on your face, slowly forgetting your sadness.

“What is something you do when you want to feel like yourself again?”

“Hmm?” You pondered for a moment before a bigger smile appeared on your face. “I have something, come on I’ll show you!” Your voice and face were filled with excitement as you dragged the older girl with you.

The two of you laughed along the way, about nothing in particular, it was just the right mood to laugh.

“Ta-dah!”

“This is yours?!” Her jaw dropped as you both were standing in front of your precious motorcycle.

“Yeah, it used to be my dad’s but he doesn’t ride it anymore.” You informed before looking at Minji with a smirk on your face. “Surprised?”

“Yeah, I mean you don’t look like someone who ride motorcycles.”

“What does motorcycle riders look like exactly?” You looked at her with a teasing smile and then laughed once she couldn’t find the words to explain.

“Sorry that was stupid, I mean you look soft and well people who ride motorcycles at least in movies, are usually-“ As she was about to finish her sentence, you interrupted with a big and goofy grin. “Big and scary?”

“Yes! Gosh that is such a stereotype, maybe I should stop watching so much movies.” Minji laughed at herself.

“No, I get it. A lot of them are, my dad is one of them, he’s big and kinda scary. Anyways, wanna go for a ride?”

“It would be stupid to decline such offer!” Minji grinned as she hopped on the vehicle.

The two of you rode into the darkness of the night, worries fade away and replaced with laughters and unforgettable memories.

That was the night that changed everything.

[Present Time]

You forever felt grateful to Minji who listened to your ranting that night, if she weren’t there you would’ve given up your long life dreams.

“I was so upset that night but somehow you managed to cheer me up.”

“I don’t know if you remembered the things you’ve said but I will forever remember. Take my word when I say that you’ll be far more successful than them, they can stay mad, jealous, and miserable. But you are a star, you shine wherever you go, even in the darkest room, you’ll be able to shine.” You smiled as you recited her exact words before looking back at Minji who was still silent.

“I’ve never told you this but…if it weren’t for you that night, I would’ve left my dreams behind and never look back. You’re the most important person in my li-“ You were startled by the sudden hug you received, but soon melted into her embrace, caressing for back once you heard a sob.

“I-I am really sorry” she cried into your neck. “I know you are, but you shouldn’t be sorry.” You replied softly.

“No I should be sorry, sorry for not talking to you, for being distant, really sorry for being a bad girlfriend.”

“Hey! Don’t say that, you’re the best girlfriend and I’ll never find someone else like you.” You cupped her face with your hands and leaned in, softly placing a kiss on her forehead.

“You better not.” She frowned as she point a finger in front of your face threateningly, but you found it cute. “And I do remember that night, and everything about that night. How could I forget when it’s the reason why you’re mine.”

You gave her a teasing grin. “I’m yours?” She nodded and intertwined her hands with yours. “Mine.” Before leaning into your lips for a sweet kiss.

[homunculus-argument]

I'm pretty sure I've made a post about this exact specific thing before, but I'm going to type this out anyway, because I can't get over how Tove Jansson's work depicts masculinity, and the idea of gender in general.

While she was - and still 100% is - absolutely a wlw icon (being the first woman to bring a same-sex date to Finland's annual independence day ball in the Presidental Palace), and her work doesn't focus on men or masculinity, she had no resentment towards the male sex as a whole. In her works, the male characters are mainly amusing creatures, up to their silly masculine antics that men are bound to do just the same as squirrels are bound to build their certain type of nests and migratory birds are bound to fly to the south for winter.

There are characters - whole species, in fact - that more or less represent people trying to perform their respective gender roles, like the Fillyjonk who manages to be a strictly normative Housewife without any mention of her having a husband, and the masculine counterpart of generally male hemulens. While there are both fillyjonks and hemulens that are happy being Traditionally Feminine and Traditionally Masculine, there's one short story of a fillyjonk who doesn't enjoy micro-managing an immaculate household, and another one of a hemulen who doesn't enjoy any traditionally masculine hobbies but tries to arbitrarily pick one anyway, because of societal expectations to have one.

But the thing is, the characters who don't fit into standard strict gender presentations are perfectly comfortable with themselves and neither they nor anyone else really gives a shit. Jansson was born in 1914, and it's remarkable how neutral the characters' depictions are to a modern eye. Being personally finnish and introduced to her works in a language that doesn't have gendered pronouns, I literally did not know what gender a few of the characters were before encountering their english or swedish descriptions with pronouns. And I never wondered whether they're supposed to be male or female. Hell, even the character representing the love of her life is depicted like this, and it never crossed my mind to wonder whether Too-Ticky is male or female. She's just Too-Ticky, who dispels wisdom.

But coming back to masculinity, the way Jansson depicts male characters and The Masculine Urge To Do Shit isn't depicted as either superior nor inferior to her female characters' ways of doing their own thing. Sure, men cause problems on purpose from time to time, but the narrative doesn't depict this as inherently bad any more than it is inherently good. The protagonist Moomintroll is a boy and does his best to perform some ideal of being manly, but it's depicted as a part of him trying to grow up. His father's misadventures in trying to be either a wildhearted Manly Adventurer or a Stable Provider For His Family - and the conflict between these two ideals - aren't depicted as bad things to want, or something he shouldn't want, but just an inherent part of being a man.

The protagonist's girlfriend Snorkmaiden is depicted as vain and frivolous as much as she is kind and loving, but her girlish silliness and genuinely kind heart aren't depicted as being contradictory to each other, it's just who she is as a person. The protagonist's mother, Moominmamma, is the platonic ideal of a loving and patient mother and wife, and The moomins' TvTropes page actually goes as far as describing her as fitting the definition of the platonic ideal of the perfect traditional japanese woman, being gentle, loving and hospitable, but strong and unhesitant to protect her family. She doesn't humour her husband's whims out of some schooled and practiced dedication to the role of feminine submissiveness, she puts up with his stupid shit because she loves him.

Tove Jansson was a splendid woman and her work and art are rightfully one of Finland's proudest gifts to the world, and whether she was gay or bisexual, it clearly shines through her work how as much as she loved women, she didn't dislike men. The Masculine Urge To Do Shit is aknowledged with a jovial shrug: "Yeah, they do that sometimes."

[nullified-kiss]

the proximity crush — dazai osamu

are you really into him (is he really into you?) or is this just a kind of proximity crush type of thing? whatever it is, you're foolish enough to fall for it.

wc. 554

authors note: tbh, dazai isn't incorporated too much into the fic as i wasn't sure that it was the one that this kind of narrative matches with, yk? it aligns in style to the latest untitled writing i did (more in the mind/thought-based) i hope you enjoy it!

you couldn't really tell if he was a good person. given, you've only known him for a grand total of two weeks. not to mention, you can't genuinely call yourself a "good person". your thoughts go to places you don't think they really should be, to a more sinister side of mockery and judgement. you can't tell if you're impolite, or maybe a little strange, because you can't really tell what is "normal" just yet. you can't tell if he's been looking over at your direction more, or if it's just because you suddenly became so much more conscious of his singularity to yours.

but can you really blame him? you have no one but yourself to blame, you'd thought, having succumbed to the grasp of someone who was practically a stranger. given the chance, you would've in fact been captured in the trance of any man who allowed you to be an inch closer, laughed at your jokes, glanced at you more, or just coincidentally (it was surely your imagination…) been around you more in the pool of coworkers and friends that the two of you are distantly related to.

boy, this is stupid. it's not like he's the first crush you've had to someone who just had to spend more time with you among other people... think back to that friend in college who had taken more classes with you than other people, that neighborhood kid that you would have to sit near on the bus, or that one guy that you spent time with (among others) for four weeks at a summer camp. you know you're really foolish to fall for anyone that lets you into their physical bubble closer than you're normally comfortable with to a stranger. really foolish to fall for a guy that starts to play jokes with you, talk to you, and…

stop.

you're hallucinating! surely! you watch the man walk from his cubicle out the office, carefully trying not to make it so wildly obvious of your gaze.

aside from the doubts and fears, he has many great positives. he's funny, somewhat witty, and fun company. he's kinda cute after you've known him for awhile, you realize. (the first impressions didn't exactly hit too well, on both sides to be fair.)

argh! but in the end, life isn't all about finding "the one" is it? it's not always about finding someone else to fall in love with, although it does make life seem so much more bearable. you don't need a man to live in this day and age, so why are you so hung up on the fact?

he's back in the office, this time with a coffee in his hand. you watch his dark brown hair, his cheeky smile as he plays with Kunikida.

maybe he isn't the one and that was fine. for now, you're enjoying the excitement in your heart that makes your thoughts all the more powerful in your head. the closeness of him whenever you work side by side, the laugh and the glances he gives you when you're talking. (your laugh sparks among that chaos too, but is it obvious?)

whatever this was, real or not, it was fine for now. it doesn't hurt to dream of a joy, it doesn't kill to indulge in the fantasy, does it?

maybe i'll write a sequel

taglist (emptied since revamp!)

[hongtiddiez]

ok im going to try to articulate my thoughts on why i'm, personally, not bothered with the writing and what we've seen of the backstory in The Sign.

would i like to see more of their past? absolutely, however, with the limitations of episode count, the budget for special effects, etc. i totally understand the limited view we're getting and personally i do think they give us everything we need to know.

based on the amount of parallels we're seeing between this life and their first life we can pretty safely use current day phaya and tharn as a cipher to unlock their backstory to their previous life.

we see wansarut bold and unapologetic in the face of sakuna? is that his name in the book? remains unclear to me but sure. garuda!phaya. we see garuda!phaya push her boundaries and push to get closer to her despite her protests. this is a direct correlation to present day tharn and phaya and the dance they've done with their relationship. with this in mind we can pretty much assume their relationship formed similarly, through a back and forth, clash of personalities, meeting on common ground, and finally wansarut's walls coming down to let sakuna in where he then simply adores her in the same manner phaya adores tharn.

again, i would love to see that journey, but i'm okay not seeing it when i use the context clues given by the rest of the narrative to fill in those gaps. i personally find it fun to imagine what may have been different, what may have been the same, etc. i think it gives fanfic authors and creative types the opportunity to play with the characters and connect to them in their own ways. i don't always think we need to know every tiny detail of the characters we love as this allows us to see more of ourselves in them.

as for the way modern day phaya and tharn's relationship has been written i also haven't been upset with that either. there's a certain magnetism we've seen between them that draws them together in the way tharn instinctively leans into phaya immediately in episode 1, the way he wants so very badly to kiss phaya in episode 2, etc. i think it's been a beautiful waltz between them, a careful give and take, you step back and i step forward until our steps reduce and we meet in the middle.

there is a point to be made for how quickly things progressed after the kiss but these are two people whose instincts and bodies have been calling to each other on a soul deep level and i don't think it's entirely out of the realm of possibility to say that perhaps in that moment they became wansarut and sakuna again, they had the opportunity to greet each other again and say 'i've missed you.'

i think you can gain a lot from The Sign by looking at it through a romantic lens rather than something purely analytical, but that could just be me and my romantic whimsy.

as for everything about their karma, i'm simply not educated on that aspect of things enough and i'm not really worrying about it. i'm just kind of viewing it as some kind of misfortune on both of them for the perceived slight against chalothorn and rolling with it.

all this to say everyone's thoughts are completely valid. i've really enjoyed seeing the differing thoughts and gaining a different perspective from my own. i think the one thing we can all agree on is that these two deserve to be happy and be at peace and i hope we get to see that.

[trek-tracks]

hi.

I just wanted to say...I ended up landing back on your blog a while ago, following an ongoing TOS hyperfixation. it was the first time I'd looked at tumblr again in ages. and I happened to stumble across a post where you had left these tags--

and that, uh, absolutely floored me. like, when I say I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone, I don't mean that anyone did anything to make me think that--it's just, when you get a head full up with depression, it's real easy to convince yourself of things like that, you know? and you can do all kinds of positive thinking exercises to try to fight it, but actually having a concrete rebuttal come along and knock the whole narrative down is something else entirely.

it's a whole thing and I don't want to traumadump on you or anything. I just, uh, wanted to say thanks, I guess. also I now have a folder full of TOS text post memes saved, so thanks for that too.

I spent the past few days debating whether or not to answer this publicly, and please let me know if you'd rather I take it down. In the end, I think it's important that a) everyone knows I think you're awesome, and b) to send the message to everyone that more people care about you than you think. (Yes, you, reading this. I don't care what your brain says. You are important to people, even if you don't know it yet.)

I had no hope or expectation you would ever see those tags, and they are honest. You were one of my early friends on Tumblr, back when I was really seeing what this platform was all about. I loved your insights, I loved your jokes, and I always enjoyed our interactions. I saw that you were having a hard time, and I was definitely worried when you left. However, I didn't want to ask you to come back to a platform that was clearly draining to you, or be another expectation in a sea of expectations. I googled you a few times for my own peace of mind, but that's as far as it got. In this online world, sometimes it's hard to show we care without feeling awkward or overbearing.

Ultimately, though, the thing about this online world is that we also never completely disappear, especially if we interact with each other. Chains of posts and responses are snapshots of friendships, ephemera preserved in time. It's sad and fond and lovely all at once. Every once in a while, that past resurfaces, and we remember. Sometimes I wish we could know when someone is thinking about us, a little pinprick of warmth we could carry around, but maybe it'd get excessive and feel like heartburn.

I want anyone who follows this blog to know--if we're mutuals, or if you show up in my notifications every once in a while (because after my initial burst of following people I've become really remiss about adding mutuals, which is only a good thing because it would mean I'd spend even more time on Tumblr), I think about you, and I hope you're doing well. You matter.

When I say that I am thrilled that you're back and recovering, Rev, I mean it with my whole whole heart. It made my week. So often we don't get to read the next chapter of our online friends' lives, and thank you so much for updating us.

[chipchopclipclop]

i have finished death mark 2...... thoughts.....

general thoughts is the overall story was.... BAD. LOL.

I'll start with the good. The interactions between Yashiki and alot of the returning cast i really liked, the writing especially in the first few chapters. An example being alot of Yashiki and Daimon's chatter, especially the whole weight of saving lives things that comes back at the end, alot of it was quite sweet and heartwarming similarly between him and other mark bearer characters.

^^^ BEST CG EVARRRRR....

I liked the choice of Hiroo and Mashita being the two that come in when he's at his lowest, their curtness and refusal to take his attitude was really refreshing, felt really like what he needed at the time lol. In that same vein i enjoyed his characterization alot in the early-mid game, and how it develops. He's such a sensitive guy lollll and it comes through well with how much he cares but near the latter chapters it kind of.... sours.

Though there were a few new characters i liked his interactions with, Abe and Maruhashi specifically i found endearing of the new cast, Alot of them just Die. Or theyre Hime and Michiho AKA the bane of my fucking existence with this game.

They are the two pushed front and center and it is truly its worst aspect, as characters they're shallow personality wise and though you could say that about others in the cast, them being in love with Yashiki on top of it makes it so much worse.

They barely have any scenes where they actually properly interact and feel like they bond at all but for some reason im expected to believe they're suddenly in love with him?? -and in the end they were also dead the whole time, and not even themselves. So it wasn't even real, and somehow any of this is meant to hold any weight to the audience...?? explaining it as the ghosts being desperate for him instead doesnt really make it.. any more compelling (lol the scene at the end where hes like maybe they just wanted those beautiful normal school days they spent by me.... when did that happen yashiki)

I understand Yashiki is probably saddened by the deaths of two young girls but they're treated with so much more weight and gravitas than anyone else in the cast and its so unearned, especially when alot of the other ghosts are somehow way more compelling in that aspect.

He also becomes borderline ooc around them like in what world am i expected to believe he emotionally dumps his burdens on the two highschool girls he barely knows because of how sad he is when hes got like how many other people he knows FROM THE OTHER GAMES he could do that with...????? (AND BASICALLY DOES... ALREADY...?) and it lifts his heart like truly wtf was i reading. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT.JPG

Chapter six is really where it falls off the cliff with this, after hanging out with Hiroo, Mashita and Yasuoka and solving that case they just dissapear from the narrative for a day so he can......... hang out with michiho...?? i couldn't even enjoy murder yashiki in this game because of how ludicrous it felt that the rest of yashiki's companions just dissapeared to make it happen, and no one calls or anything lmfao. I cant imagine how much more compelled i would have felt if he was dealing with that situation with any of the other three around instead of HIME. LIKE I AM ACTUALLY SO INCENSED ABOUT THIS SCENARIO BEING RUINED SO HARD WHEN IT COULD BE SO GOOD BUT I DIGRESS (RIPPING MY HAIR OUT) (CRYING BC I LOVE BLOOD AND HORROR)

Even the first two games weren't as bad as writing women as this!? EVEN IF I HAD TO SEE MASSIVE TITS ON SCREEN THEY WEREN'T TRYING TO JUMP ON YASHIKI AS WELL AS A CENTRAL PLOT POINT (lol kakuya) congrats exp you have outdone yourself with the misogyny.

To continue on the topic of new characters, it feels like so many of them were given so little screen time to make you actually care about them. For how prominent Abe is he barely actually does anything, and Maruhashi instantly dissapears when shes no longer a red herring. On top of this game basically killing off any other character that appears, its hard to get invested in them as characters at all.

You have no opportunities to actually effect their fate as you do in the other two games, so there's even less attempt to immerse you there. Horikoshi comes the closest behind the other two but its because her case with Hanako was easily the strongest and most resonant of the game (lgbt win). Its not even like this is the first time Yashiki saves the lives of kids and bonds with them after, especially with the caveat of being a teacher, like how did you fuck this premise up so bad.

They either needed to commit to more scenes and writing in general to attach you to the new characters or just not have any returning ones show up so prominently if they're not also going to further interact with them.

The overall mystery suffers for it, and while i like the twist of the doll being helpful in this game actually, it is so easy to guess michiho and hime are the departed, and i already didn't even like them so it doesn't hit at all emotionally. Like, i was not feeling very betrayed or anything lol.

Further critiques -> though running around is very fun, the horror in this game really didn't at all compare to the others with the loss of that first person perspective for alot of the exploration, sad.

I also feel like we got more horny shit than we did in NG which is also like lol one step forwards two steps back. Even the gore wasn't as good............... kind of mid in every regard there. I did like the mushroom and scissor stuff, but the bugs and mold ended up just kind of ..... eh...

Mary continues to be the best antag in these games, she slayed and she continues to keep slaying. The sisters were really kind of a letdown in the end, especially since i think i could have enjoyed it if they pulled them off better.

As for my yaoi cocaine score though thats a 10/10 they made yashiki and mashita meow and hiss like cats in this game for some reason, i genuinely think that shattered my mind a little.

I also can't believe they gave us these two panting in unison asmr as well so you could make your own [REDACTED] if you wanted. The departed getting jealous mashita was standing next to him in that one confrontation too like she's calling him a homewrecker..... lol...... also the part where mashita jokes abt him keeping the gun and if you make yashiki go 'then i will 😇' and him immediately backpedaling like okay i was kidding. give it back. very moe very powerful.

I feel like the entire time mashita was on screen he was basically acting as yashiki's brain to keep him from getting too lost in his emotional attachments, truly everyone needs a bitch wife to keep them sane.

TL:DR this game could be so good (average) if it wasn't so fucking badDDDDDDDDDDDD easily the worst entry in this series...... dont buy it unless its on sale for 4 bucks (this applies to every game) or just watch in on youtube lol.

anyway. beautiful yashiki collection. I CANT BELIEVE MASHITA DIDNT GET A BAD END CG ACTUALLY < / 3 BUT YASHIKI'S IS REALLY GOOD < / 3 SMALL WINS < / 3

[animegirl3476]

Another day, another discourse comparing and contrasting Shoya and Shoko’s relationship in A Silent Voice with Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship in My Hero Academia.

At the end of the day, you’ll never get a 1:1 comparison with these two cases due to the fact that 1) They belong to vastly different genres, 2) One is far longer than the other and 3) One is a grounded character drama and coming of age tale.

But…

I think that A Silent Voice provides a fairly good basis for judging the way MHA handles the relationship development of two characters, where one used to bully the other and an arc of atonement occurs. More importantly, comparisons to A Silent Voice highlight the shortcomings of Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development and allows me to understand and actually communicate what I don’t like about the way the story handles it.

In my opinion, what sets these two stories apart in the way they handle the atonement arcs of their respective bullies is the way they portray consequences. The big “C” word tends to elicit a hostile reaction from certain fans, who assume that your idea of consequences must necessarily involve the bully character being gratuitously punished and made to suffer as retribution for their past actions. But a consequence is just the “result or affect of an action or condition” and can range in severity, it can have many different effects.

A Silent Voice uses social consequences to prompt change from its main character. Shoya’s bullying results in him being shunned by his classmates and friends, and the story goes to great lengths to show how his actions not only hurt his victim, but that they also hurt people he cared about. His mom has to reimburse Shoko’s mom for the damaged hearing aids (when she is already short on money) for example. Furthermore, the knowledge of his past is something that impacts the way others perceive him, and that change in perception is essential to his arc.

More importantly, A Silent Voice makes it clear to the viewer/reader that despite Shoko generally being a kind and forgiving person, the bullying still hurt her deeply enough to leave a long lasting impression. Shoko is receptive to Shoya’s will to change, but the story doesn’t ignore that Shoko suffered greatly and that the bullying made her sad, frustrated and even angry. Her negative emotions are not overshadowed by her desire to see Shoya become a better person.

The thing that holds me back from enjoying Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development is the lack of consequences Bakugou receives for his bullying (which is directly connected to the way the narrative denies Izuku both agency and introspection) The hard truth is that Bakugou faces little to no consequences for his past behaviour, and one would think that such a topic would have to be brought up at some point because, ya know…he goes to a hero school. A HERO school, a place where people train to be role models, help people on a large scale and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

The first scene we see with Bakugou depicts him as the opposite of a hero. A mean bully who beats up people weaker than him, and this is emphasized by the fact that he targets Izuku, who has no means of defending himself. Despite this, he gets into UA, which isn’t necessarily a problem because it communicates a major flaw in the system that cultivates heroes (Overlooking certain problematic traits in favour of innate talent and strength) BUT, the information that he used to be a bully never comes up among his classmates in any major or lasting way. We saw his classmates, and even his new friends discuss or think about how much they abhor bullying. The students of class 1A do not like it when people abuse their strength to pick on those weaker than them…yet that never seems to connect back to Bakugou’s past as a bully.

This issue is exacerbated by the lack of attention given to Izuku’s side of the story. In stories that involve the atonement or redemption of a bully, it is CRITICAL that the victim’s side of the story is treated as something equally important to the bully’s side. It’s not something that can just be overshadowed by the bully’s side, it must be focused on in order for the atonement arc to work.

It’s disappointing that Izuku lacks the introspection that Katsuki gets, and very unsatisfying that it effectively lets Katsuki off the hook for literally every bad thing he’s ever done. The ways the bullying might’ve impacted Izuku for the worst is hardly ever discussed because every time the narrative approaches the topic, it always pivots to Izuku praising Katsuki for the things he did right. This is a big problem, because it silences any discussion that focuses on Izuku’s feelings and shines the spotlight on Katsuki instead.

Before I end my little tangent, I also feel the need to say this: Pointing to any instance of Katsuki’s suffering throughout the series IS NOT EVIDENCE OF CONSEQUENCES! Any bad thing will happen to Katsuki and people will proceed to say: “SEE?! Did you see that?? Katsuki HAS faced consequences! How can you say that he never faced consequences for his actions? Why do you want him to suffer?” It’s so disingenuous and it’s a terrible argument that refuses to criticize the text.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! I’ve been following you for a bit now, and all of your recommendations have been super cool and interesting! If you don’t mind me asking, do you have any recommendations for really long indie ttrpgs? One that could match the length of dnd or CoD books, I mean. The specifics don’t matter as much, I just really like sinking my teeth into long game books like that.

THEME: Long Indie Games

Hello friend! Fear not, I have a multitude of long indie games to recommend for you!

Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine, by Jenna Moran.

Length: 578 pages.

The Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine RPG is the diceless RPG from Jenna Katerin Moran, author of the well-regarded Nobilis and an important contributor to Eos’ Weapons of the Gods and White Wolf’s Exalted RPG.

Chuubo’s is a special beast. I personally don’t know how one actually plays this game, but the book itself is fascinating to read. It has recognizable parts such as character skills, Health Levels, and XP, but I think I’d want to sit down with a physical copy to be able to properly read it and get a handle on how you play through a story. If you enjoy a challenge, or even just something enchanting and evocative, I’d recommend Chuubo’s.

Part-Time Gods, by Third Eye Games.

Length: 318 pages.

The gods of today are shadows of what the old gods possessed. Their power has been heavily diminished, and many choose to live a regular, mortal life, revealing themselves as gods only when absolutely necessary. The reason for this is twofold. First, fate doesn’t like it when the gods share their secrets with a mortal. Unless they are the god’s worshipper, terrible events and horrific accidents have a way of happening to the people closest to the god. Secondly, divine works attract creatures and monsters called Outsiders, created by the Source (after its capture) to destroy any god they encounter.

This is a game that’s on my TBR shelf - and it might stay there for a while, because this is another pretty lengthy book. I am very grateful for the index at the back of this book, because I think this would be pretty difficult to navigate. Part-Time Gods is set in the modern-day, but the premise behind your god-hood is very unique, so one of the first chapters is dedicated to telling you what exactly it means to be a part-time god, part-time taxpayer. The book also contains small pieces of prose set in the world, meant to give you a flavour of the genre and tone intended by the designer. I’m really interested in the concepts expressed in this game, and I hope I have enough brain space to read it in the future!

We Are All Mad Here, by Shanna Germain.

Length: 226 pages.

Jack climbing the beanstalk. The little mermaid finding her voice. Alice struggling with the madness of a place unruled by the laws of reality. The queen. The child. The woodsman. The knight. When you think about fairy tales, who do you become? Where does your imagination take you?

We Are All Mad Here is a tabletop game about fairytales and mental health, providing you with new options for the Cypher System while also creating a setting about visitors to a magical land called the Heartwood. In the fiction, only those who have had some kind of struggle that affects their mental health are able to travel to this magical land. Germain intends this to be a way to tell a narrative about mental health using allegory and metaphor. The Cypher system itself is pretty complex, and you probably won’t be able to play a game of We Are All Mad Here without the core rulebook, so it might be worth it to take a gander at the Cypher System Rulebook while you’re at it.

Coyote & Crow, by Connor Alexander.

Length: 484 pages.

More than 700 years ago, a massive disaster changed the course of history. The world was plunged into centuries of darkness, but the event also introduced the Adanadi — the Gift — a strange mark that appeared on all life. This mark would have an enduring impact on humanity. Centuries later, the Earth is healing. New, advanced nations have risen. Ancient legends stir.

Coyote & Crow is a pretty extensive and unique game, using pools of d12s pulled from your stats, as well as narrative beats such as character motivation, Gifts and Burdens to help give your character a personality. Because it introduces an alternate history and a drastically different future, the core book as a decent amount of lore to acquaint you with the city of Cahokia and the world that surrounds it.

This game has quite a bit of support out there, with adventures such as Stolen Heart, Laughter Lost & Found, and The Case of the Great Underwater Panther.

Impulse Drive, by Adrian Thoen.

Length: 242 pages.

Play a crew of misfits and scoundrels living a life of danger and adventure as they explore space and try to make their ship a home in a technicolor sea of stars. Fight dangerous organizations, investigate unnerving mysteries, and find trouble in a game that rewards you when your characters face their shortcomings. Grow your characters and ship with new gear and abilities as you discover and create the universe together, as a group.

For a PbtA game, Impulse Drive feels pretty substantial. It provides a quick primer on Powered by the Apocalypse games, and includes advice for the players as well as the GM. This might be because the game includes a lot of details about gear and vehicles, as this is a space game that cares what your party has on hand and what their ship can do. There’s also advice on changing the game, extra moves, and a roll table for mutations! If you’re looking to see how to play out a space adventure in a more narrative-focused system, you might want to check out this game!

The Shrike, by Alice the Candle.

Length: 162 pages.

The Shrike is a game about fantastical voyages aboard a skyship. It's inspired by Avery Alder's The Quiet Year, John Harper's Lady Blackbird, Italo Calvino, Ursula K. Le Guin, and utopian and dystopian fiction. It features four complete adventures (two multiplayer, two for solo play). 

This indie game is on the short side of this list, but it’s definitely long by indie standards. The author has provided 4 different adventures that you can read through, which will likely spark your imagination along the way. Interestingly, the voyages are placed in the first half of the book, while the information about Solo, Co-operative. and Guided Play embody the second half of the book. I’m not sure how I feel about this layout choice, but if you’re mostly looking for a book that you can read, flipping through the voyages might be more interesting to you than the rules of play.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Lancer, by Massif Press. 431 pages.

The Wildsea, by Felix Isaacs. 364 pages.

Exceptionals, by Sahoni. 253 pages.

Gubat Banwa, by makpatatag. 399 pages.

Monster Care Squad, by Sandy Pug Games. 176 pages.

[balioc]

Holiday Engineering: Lamptide

OK, let's put my money where my mouth is.

Lamptide is the invented-from-scratch holiday that I actually celebrate. It has its roots in a roleplaying game that I ran some years ago with @cloakofshadow and @mirror-lock, but after the game finished, I decided that I wanted to import a modified version of the festival into real life.

And it's worked very well! Or so I posit. We've had well-attended Lamptide celebrations for a couple of years running, and not only do people show up and enjoy themselves, there's a distinctive holiday spirit. The weird rites and activities do in fact happen. Which is possibly just because my friends are good sports, but...I think we're reaching the point where some version of Lamptide might well take place without me pushing it along.

As a holiday-engineering project, it's a work-in-progress. I am still tinkering with the observances, and the pieces definitely aren't yet all in place. I don't personally have the expertise to create some of the holiday stuff I'd want to create. Moreover, the population that celebrates Lamptide is still very small, and in some ways homogeneous -- mostly childless urban professional-types -- so the holiday doesn't have the context that it would need to manifest in all the forms that I imagine for it.

But I'm proud of it. And, at the least, it provides an example of what it looks like for a holiday to be built from the ground up.

Vibe. This is where I started. (Both in the RPG and in real life, actually.) In the RPG, Lamptide is an intercalary day, and like many intercalary festivals it's a weird and occult time. In real life, of course, I do not control the calendar. But even so, Lamptide is meant to have that same feel, manifesting as a carnival of spooks and revelry. To some extent, it's meant to serve as a Halloween-like that works better for me than actual Halloween does.

And much like Halloween, in theory, its core rituals can be practiced in three different "modes" depending on context. For families with kids, it's a cutesy holiday of flamboyant fun. For older kids and adolescents, it's a holiday of mischief and boundary-pushing (in a way that is, I hope, less obnoxious than the adolescent version of Halloween). For independent adults, it can be contemplative and/or literary and/or Spicy and Sexy, to taste.

Theme. In a highflown theoretical sense: Lamptide is the festival of narrative conquering material reality, of ideas and illusions becoming more-real-than-real. It is the day when you leave the sunlit world behind and walk back into Plato's cave, because our art allows us to create such beautiful shadows on the walls.

(The "lamp" of Lamptide is, notionally, the lamp whose light reveals what-is-not.)

In a more-everyday sense: Lamptide is a festival of magic.

Timing. Lamptide is observed on the spring equinox. There are a few reasons for this, some of them rooted in stuff from the RPG, but the big one is that it's almost halfway around the calendar from Halloween. I really don't want to compete with Halloween, to the extent that I can avoid it; I would lose that competition very hard. And there are enough obvious points of similarity that it's a real danger.

Early spring is also a good time for holidays generally, in the contemporary US. There's relatively little going on then, and people feel kind of festive because the worst of winter is over.

Mythology. The personification of the holiday is Father Lantern, an ogre-like character who carries a lamp. In the (notional) tales, he shines his lamp on you, and in its light you see an otherworldly version of yourself -- a creature that you could be, if you left ordinary reality behind. More prosaically, if he shows up at your doorstep and you offer him candy, he will tell you stories (or gift you with media).

Father Lantern is mostly a funny and approachable figure. He is long-winded and pretentious, in love with the sound of his own voice. But there is meant to be an edge of menace to him; he is an ogre, which means that there's always the danger that he'll just eat you, especially if you're a child. (This is not a behavior-enforcement thing -- he's not Krampus, and Lamptide is not that kind of holiday. Father Lantern's whims are inscrutable.)

I haven't yet experimented with having someone play Father Lantern, in the way that people play Santa Claus, but it's an obvious possibility.

Decorations. You put lamps and lanterns everywhere. If you can keep your celebration space lit entirely by lantern-light, that is to be commended. Silhouettes and shadow-plays are very much in the holiday spirit.

Holiday attire. Masks -- masquerade-style masks, the kind that allow people to eat and talk comfortably -- are very strongly encouraged. (When I throw Lamptide parties, this is the only thing about which I actually nudge people.) In terms of creating distinctive atmosphere, this fires on all cylinders. A space full of masked people feels otherworldly and ritualized and, well, magic. And the symbolism is super on-the-nose.

Fancy and flamboyant clothes are also encouraged.

Ritual interactions. The Lamptide tradition is to greet people with curses and maledictions. This is done in the spirit of theater superstition; it is a topsy-turvy intercalary carnival, after all. "Die in a fire" is the standard form of cheery holiday well-wishing, although you're encouraged to be creative if you're so inclined.

(Does this mostly give little kids an excuse to be gleeful about saying stuff they'd normally never be allowed to say? Maybe.)

Activities. There are two big ones.

Divination. Lamptide is a time for fortune-telling. Tarot cards are my go-to, and offering Tarot readings at Lamptide parties has proven to be a big hit, but any form of divination at all -- ranging from Actual Fucking Haruspexy to "let's ask ChatGPT about our future husbands" -- is praiseworthy. When my son was less than a year old, I had him crawl around the floor and choose Symbolically Portentous Objects like he was the infant Dalai Lama or something, and it was great.

Bribery, especially candy bribery. One of the core dynamics of a Lamptide celebration is that you walk in carrying candy, or other things that you're happy to give away, and you offer your prizes to people in exchange for them doing stuff that you want them to do. For families with little kids, this is a chance for the parents to reward their children for showing off cool skills / desired behaviors in a concrete ritual framework, and for the children to get their parents to do silly stuff. For teens, it's a structure for something that's essentially Truth or Dare with more flexibility. The applications for Spicy Sexy grownup parties are left as an exercise for the reader.

(I have thoughts about expanding the candy bribery thing into a practice of Reverse Wassailing / Trick-or-Treating, essentially, where you walk around town offering strangers candy in exchange for singing with you or otherwise doing cute harmless stuff. I haven't yet worked out exactly the right feel, though. And, well, things being how they are, you need a pretty thick social skin to be willing to offer strangers candy without a widely-accepted social framework.)

Undeveloped aspects of the holiday, which I hope to flesh out in future years:

Traditional food. We don't really have anything other than candy, right now, and it's an obvious lacuna. Lamptide isn't really a sit-down-for-a-nice-dinner kind of holiday...although I guess it could be...but I suspect it would be useful to come up with some kind of Classic Lamptide Hors d'Ouevre or Classic Lamptide Crudité or something else appropriate for a party where people are milling around doing different things. (Not a dessert, I don't want to compete with the candy.) Sadly, I have no culinary genius, so I'm going to have to outsource for this one.

Music. @cloakofshadow has written some alternate lyrics for Christmas carols, but a thriving holiday should really have its own songs with their own distinctive melodies. Which means that I should probably find a competent composer to help me out.

Gifts. It would be very In-Theme for Lamptide to be the holiday when you give people the books / movies / video games / etc. that you want them to consume for your sake. I haven't yet done anything with that idea, but I am definitely considering it strongly.

[paintingpuff]

Netflix ATLA and the Air Nomad Genocide

I've started watching NATLA, and though I'm not really enjoying it, I've found it really interesting to compare its writing decisions to the show as a way to break both down and see how their parts tick. Since NATLA is trying to be more faithful than some other adaptations, the changes it does make stand out more and reveal the mechanics of the storytelling.

While I overall think a lot of NATLA's changes--even the minute ones--made the story execution weaker, the more complicated and interesting change of theirs is the intro, showing the day the Fire Nation ambushed the Air Nomads.

Pacing Criticisms

Cards on the table, I think that putting this sequence at the very beginning was a mistake. Watching Aang's emergence from the iceberg in NATLA made me realize how much the original cartoon imbues its beginning with mystery that makes for a much more active viewing experience. Aang doesn't know much about the present, Katara and Sokka don't know much about Aang's origins, and in their back and forth of information, we the audience organically learn both. Watching Katara and Aang piece together how long he's been frozen in ice was more satisfying and natural than Grangran deducing everything immediately when Aang showed up.

But Sherlock Grangran was kind of the only decision the writers could do, because if they tried the build up the cartoon did, it would just feel tedious to the audience, because we already know everything from the start. They kind of wrote themselves into a corner there.

But let's ignore that problem. We could imagine in another draft that this sequence of the Fire Nation attack shows up as a flashback, kind of like what happened in ATLA with The Storm.

That then begs the question: How does this sequence’s inclusion change the audience's experience, and is it for better or worse?

Facing Vs. Hiding the Horrors

Both series portray very dark and horrific situations, but the way they try to evoke horror from the audience are very different approaches, and for me raises a question I've been asking myself for a while: When wanting to display discomforting violence, is it more effective to imply/hide it, or to show it in detail? Somewhere in between?

(I specify discomforting violence, as opposed to violence meant to be catharsis or spectacle.)

There are arguments for both. Explicit violence can create a visceral, physical reaction to an audience member (especially the squeamish ones), though for some it can come across as gratuitous and even exploitative.

Whereas hiding the violence can horrify the audience by leaving a lot to the imagination (insert that quote about fear of the unknown from Hack Penmanship Lovecraft), or give the sense that the events are so awful that even the camera has to look away. Some also say this gives the characters more dignity, though others think this softens the emotional reaction almost as a form of self censoring (there's a reason kid's media often tries to show horrific stuff off screen, such as the original ATLA).

Ultimately I've come to the conclusion that the former approach works for some stories, whereas the latter works better for others, all of it based on a ton of factors.

So I don't think NATLA's choice to delve into more detail about the Air Nomad genocide is an illogical decision. I wasn't sure about it when I heard it, but I thought that maybe I'm just attached to ATLA's off screen approach, so I kept myself open.

And dialogue issues aside, I don't think the scene is that poorly done. But it did ultimately solidify for me that ATLA's narrative is stronger without an explicit depiction of the Air Nomad genocide.

The Grief of Never Knowing

The image of Gyatso’s skeleton from ATLA has haunted me ever since I saw it as a kid. It was an emotional gut punch in a very well done episode, but this particular screenshot has stuck with me, and that is because of the Fire Nation soldiers. A lot of people have pointed this out, but there are a lot of bodies here, and it implies that Gyatso managed to not only kill these soldiers, but do it when they were strengthened by the comet. That image is very discomforting--Gyatso is always seen from Aang’s perspective, and thus we only see him as the gentle old mentor and friend, one who cheats at games and throws pies he meticulously baked.

It also puts into Aang’s position and the grief he has to face. From his perspective, he was gone only a few days as 100 years passed. He never gets to see the interim, and thus neither do the audience. He is left with the same implications as we are, and has to face the realities of grieving the fact that sometimes you’re not there when they leave.

An excellent point from @endless-nightshift here is how one of ATLA’s core themes is coping with the aftermaths of atrocities and war, analyzing their long-lasting affects rather than just the initial shock of violence--something I had never consciously realized but once said out loud makes a lot click into place for me. There is a reason the show starts a full century into the war rather than just a few years. 

François Truffaut once said that “there is no such thing as an anti-war film,” because the medium of film is inherently better at elevating and glorifying what it shows rather than deriding or deconstructing it. While I don’t think it’s impossible to do the latter, the extended action sequence that is the intro to NATLA causes that sentiment to echo in my mind as I watch, rather than invest me into the story. 

The implied atrocities of ATLA draws me in to empathize with the wounded characters and world, whereas the explicit action of NATLA pushes me away. 

…and that’s where I was planning to end this analysis, but there is one thing NATLA’s intro adds into the canon that I think is actually genius--if they take advantage of it in the future. 

The Air Nomads are Joy

When I first saw the addition of the Comet Festival, I saw it as a purely mechanical decision to have all the Air Nomads in one place for the attack, as well as to make the act even more scummy. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized how it could tie into one of my favorite themes of ATLA: the Air Nomads (and especially Aang) as the joy and hope of the world. 

(I saw an old tumblr post about this theme that inspired this section. I wish I could link it but I can’t find it anymore, I’m very sorry and if anyone can help me find it tysm)

There is a recurring motif of associating the Air Nomads with humor and fun. Iroh mentions their good humor; Gyatso baking pies just to prank the other masters with it; Roku’s first airbending flashback being him using it to mess with his friend. This is a core tenet to Aang’s character as well. The first line he has in the show is inviting Katara to go penguin sledding with him. Half the stops he makes in Season 1 is purely to have fun. He excites Kyoshi island with an airbending party trick. The humor in ATLA’s tone isn’t just there because it’s targeted towards kids, but is the bedrock of the series’ themes. 

(On a personal note, the humor is also what got me and my family into the show. We saw the intro sequence with Aang crashing into the statue and it made my mom laugh so hard that we watched the whole series, and years later we’ve rewatched it dozens of times and own all the DVDs)

Joy and fun and hope were the first things to die when the Fire Nation attacked, and part of Aang’s job is returning that to a world that has been scarred by decades of war. You may already be seeing where I’m going in regards to the Comet Festival. 

A core conflict in the cartoon finale is Aang wanting to keep to the principles of the Air Nomads while still finding a way to stop the war (side note: I think the resolution and Aang’s decision to spare Ozai was a good one, I just think the execution was a little janky). Beyond the surface level conflict of who wins in the battle between Aang and Ozai, there is the additional tension of who will win ideologically. The return of the Avatar State is an interesting development in this dynamic, having Aang suddenly physically winning the fight, but spiritually losing up until the last moment. In the end, it is a triumph where Aang manages to find a third option to win both conflicts, despite them seeming diametrically opposed. It is about defeating Ozai and the Imperial Fire Nation by wholeheartedly rejecting their ideology of violence and might-makes-right. 

But now I see a really cool opportunity for NATLA with what they’ve established in the intro sequence: What if Aang reclaimed the symbol of Sozin’s Comet for his people? That day of the Fire Nation attack, centuries of the Comet Festival were wiped over in history, with people now naming that event as Sozin’s Comet and the beginning of the war. Wouldn’t it be poetic for Aang to mark the ending of the war by wiping away that stain done to his culture, taking it back from the Fire Nation in what ways he can? To turn a tool for genocide into an event of joy and fun once more. 

I’m reminded of moments from the cartoon like Suki commenting how beautiful the comet looks. It would just tie everything up beautifully, and I really really hope the NATLA writers--if Netflix does give them enough seasons to get there--take advantage of this.  

So, to sum up what I think of NATLA so far: I think a lot of its changes have made the story weaker, but I don’t want them to stop trying changes. If I wanted a 1:1 copy of the cartoon, I’d just watch ATLA--it’s also on Netflix, after all. With more work, I can see the writers making changes that accentuate and build on the beauty of the original. 

(Note: These are the thoughts I’ve accrued from just watching the first episode. I plan to watch more, but it does exhaust me at the moment. Still, I hope I can do more of these kinds of analyses, it’s a really fun writing exercise for me)

[brekkie-e]

Sometimes I just. Dont like the internet. I can't seem to escape seeing the Astarion's Correct Path to Sexual Healing argument no matter what tags I block.

I don't want to actually wade in to it, but I just want to say that there could stand to be a LOT less hostility being spewed about when the topic is that close to many people's hearts. There doesn't need to be a more "morally" correct version of healing for him. He is in the MIDDLE of recovery. Not at the end of it. That chapter is up to interpretation to each player.

It is incredibly unkind to automatically accuse people of infantalizing him for preferring a more ace route. It does not HAVE to be infantalizing. Astarion continuing to explore his needs and boundaries and discovering that he doesn't need sex and it doesn't give him the emotional intimacy he craves can be an empowering aspect of self acceptance. That can be growth. A sign of his continued journey towards autonomy. He has spent, unironically, a lifetimee having sex. If even at the end of the day, he comes to realize it's simply disinteresting to him- that's a valid route to recovery. That doesn't make him broken. That is without even mentioning the reality some people do not go back to "baseline" as they heal. Sometimes our baseline changes because of our experiences. He may discover as time goes on that no matter how much he tries, it never stops triggering negative feelings in him. I have my own personal experiences with this, and I think there's something very powerful in accepting yourself for who you are now, and not feeling like you have an obligation to "fix yourself" and get back to a version of you that no longer exists.

The flipside?

Astarion learning to love being sexually intimate with his partner does not inherently mean that the player is ignoring his desire to "not be seen sexually." Astarion at multiple points expresses an interest in trying it out. It doesn't always go well, but it's his choice to pursue it and that should be respected. He, just like irl sex abuse survivors, should be supported as they try to create a new relationship with it. He shouldn't be discouraged from having his own desires. Being able to take something that was used to hurt you and create a new and positive relationship with it because you found someone you love and trust that is patient with you is a BEAUTIFUL story. It is narratively satisfying and also a reflection of real growth as well. Telling people that they're somehow mistreating the character for wanting that for them is also unnecessarly hostile.

There is also a secret, third option. His relationship with it might remain fluid and change constantly through out his life. Healing is not linear. His interest in it may fluctuate. His response to it might fluctuate. He may go through periods of not wanting it again. He might one day decide he wants to try it again. It's not set in stone.

All I am saying is that there SHOULD be room in this fandom for all three of these truths to exist. It shouldn't be necessary to shout from the roof tops how much he loves sex to prove a point to people who think differently than you. They may have their own reasons for resonating with him in a different way. Flipside, it is entirely uncalled for to attack people for wanting him to be able to enjoy it again.

I guess what I am trying to say is make space for and be kind to your fellow fan.

Also, Astarion has WAY more trauma than simply his relationship to sex. So like. Maybe it's time we moved past this topic collectively and discuss the many other ways his life has been affected by Cazador.

[radiation]

Video games talk dont even mind me

Bro video games as a whole are so far behind movies in terms of storytelling and pacing that it’s kind of baffling. Which of course is obvious and makes sense for plenty of reasons but like, just think about it — watching movies a lot can’t help but train a certain muscle that gives you a strong instinct for structure. I find that people who watch movies very casually, without too much artistic consideration, and don’t really know the language associated with it are still very often irked by specific issues with a movie’s pacing, dialogue, etc and are relatively capable of putting it into words. Likewise, for many movies out there, regardless of your opinions on any specific directorial choices, you do feel as if the movie is essentially cohesive and creatives involved reasonably knew what they were doing and were acting very intentionally, and there weren’t any major oversights. This includes independent films as well. Meanwhile I think both players and developers much more commonly lack the instinct for narrative cohesion when it comes to video games. Definitely a fair amount of exceptions to this, but in general I find it’s difficult to find video games that are very narrative heavy & aspire to great artistic heights that don’t suffer from inherent structural problems, pedantic dialogue, tons of dead air, etc in a way that wouldn’t slide as easily in a movie. A lot these flaws certainly have to be due to the presence of gameplay elements and having to balance that with story when the two are almost always, at least in some small respect, inherently at odds. As for the inability for devs and players to pick up on / fix these flaws…is it because gameplay can distract from it and make up for it? With longer games that have runtimes closer to the experience of a television series, is there a similar reaction where if it’s long enough you will sit thru smaller, momentary issues because you enjoy the bigger picture? Yet games are a lot more engaging than a show as a audio, visual, and tactile experience, you can’t multitask and tune the information out as easily as with a boring episode of a show, so you’d think people would be more picky? But maybe because it’s so attention-demanding people are more immersed, and believe in the experience enough to more easily accept the story? Books demand the same kind of active attention to experience though, and the bar for story in books is a lot higher, so what gives? Well a lot of these have kind of obvious answers but still Interesting questions to ask that lead to Damn , That Is Still Crazy How Much This Shit Is In Its Infancy like sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy with how many writing issues are present in games, particularly in indie games that are Trying To Be Good At Writing that feel excessively obvious and yet I often struggle to find my sentiment mirrored by others. IDK. And back to movies the thing is I feel like if the same people trying to write these kind of games had pursued movies instead then they would’ve ended up making well structured movies that avoided all of these pitfalls. WHAT IS IT WITH GAMES? Well we know what it is with games and we could spend all day discussing a million more reasons this is the way it is but no matter what I think we should just be super conscientious of these pitfalls when making narrative focused games and aspire to a greater level of intentionality that is absolutely possible . Build that muscle by really understanding the quality of storytelling long-present in other mediums.Well the other issue with indie devs is that everyone believes they are totally breaking new ground story wise that they don’t take a step back, humble themselves a bit, and cross-reference what they’re doing with the tons of other stories that have already achieved similar things But thats a conversation for another day .

[mynonclicheblog]

One final Never Have I Ever love triangle thematic analysis

I've said this in one of my posts before, but the narrative is always going to favor what is best for Devi. A lot of what makes this show so juicy to dive into is because so much of its meaning is rooted in symbolism and higher concepts, not just the individual interactions you're looking at onscreen!

I think that's what doesn't work for some (not all) pro-Dxton anti-Ben folks. They see Paxton being respectful and kind to Devi, they see that he's the attractive object of her desire from day 1, and they see that the two of them genuinely do connect and help each other in certain ways. But when these same people look at Benvi, they only see Ben making obnoxious comments to Devi (+ others), they see childish behavior and mistakes being made, and they see them frequently butting heads due to their shared competitive nature.

And honestly? I get it. These conclusions are easy to come to when you're looking at the surface, but they don't take into account the full story that's being told.

Let's get into it. 😎👇

So I mentioned the idea of what is best for Devi. Not what is best for any regular person out there -- what is best for Devi Vishwakumar! Our girl expresses in no uncertain terms that she enjoys her hypercompetitive rivalry-turned-bond with Ben ("Ben's smart and we talk- mostly argue- for hours!" // "I don't want to break up with Ben. He really pushes me.") The fact that they fight and compete is not a detriment to their compatibility, it is actually the thing that makes him most desirable in her mind. She would not have wanted to be with him in the first place if this were not true. Their sharp-tongued communication style may not be the standard picture of a 'healthy' relationship for most people, but, well. Devi and Ben are far from most people.

Devi is an incredibly emotional, dynamic person who's always searching for another high. The competitive nature of her relationship with Ben is enough to satisfy her itch for novelty/excitement (her differences with Paxton don't hit this box), yet Ben's presence also provides a comforting long-term consistency in her life. He's seen the very best and the very worst of her and he always comes back. He frequently brings Devi back to herself, too, when she loses sight of what matters (friendships, family, sense of self, her goals, etc).

Then there's the dream vs. reality dichotomy that very much applies to this love triangle. Simple as it may be, it's accurate. I believe it was built that way on purpose because of how well it reflects Devi's relationships to Mohan and Nalini, which is the beating heart of what NHIE is all about. One (Mo/Pax) is more outwardly palatable than the other and provides an easygoing, self-soothing escapism that she needs in order to work through her grief. This person represents youth and the rose-colored past; Devi's tendency to idealize and indulge. The other person (Nal/Ben) is sharper around the edges, a bit harder to swallow, but pushes Devi to do better and supplies the support she needs. This person represents Devi's grounded reality; her time in the present and the woman she is growing into.

They are both important pieces in Devi's journey, but the themes of past vs present speak for themselves. The past is something we keep close to our heart- in this case, it's someone who has impacted us that we'll always carry with us. But the ultimate goal is to move forward from that. The central relationship of Never Have I Ever, in my opinion, is that of Devi & Nalini as they heal and grow together. In terms of Devi's romantic life, her relationship with Ben is the one that more closely shadows the series arc between her & Nalini.

I'd like to address some things by the individual season now. One of my observations watching s1 for the first time was that Paxton was usually aligned with bad things in Devi's life, whereas Ben was aligned with the good. e.g., Paxton was in some way the source of Devi's falling outs with El/Fab and Nalini; Ben is the one who repaired those relationships. These things aren't Paxton's fault, nor do I place any blame on him. They're just subtle narrative choices that send up unspoken flags saying, hey look, this isn't the right person for her. This theme was left behind in s1 for the most part, but given that it was NHIE's debut season, it planted several seeds for me about who the boys were for Devi and how they fit into her world.

Season 2 does a lot to sort out the difference in what Devi thinks she wants (Paxton) and what her heart truly wants (Ben). Yes, I'm going there, too: head vs heart. Devi's underlying preference for Ben > Paxton should be easy to spot as early as 2x01 -- if only for the fact that Devi finally bagged the hot guy of her dreams, and yet, choosing to be with him isn't easy for her. In fact, as both Devi and Eleanor confirm later, she wanted to choose Ben in the first place. Like... that is crazy when you think about it!!! Despite all the pieces falling into place for her and Paxton, and against her friends' shallow advice, she decides that she won't let go of Ben. Instead, she makes the misguided decision to date both. This isn't the kind of mistake she'll ever make again. It isn't Devi acting out because of Ben -- it signals a profound attachment to him when, all things considered, picking Paxton should have been a no brainer. That revealed everything I needed to know in order to understand that being with Paxton wasn't what she wanted in her heart of hearts.

Then, of course, 3x10 brings that all home with the stomach knots comparison. It tells us that, ever since Devi and Paxton moved into a place of genuine friendship, with him no longer on a pedestal, those romantic feelings (esp. on her part) have dissipated. As a bonus, Devi even explicitly states that Paxton was a dream! Ben, however -- her flawed reality -- is the one who still gives her butterflies. This is the result of Devi's slow awakening to her true inner self, the Devi who values realness and authenticity and loving through imperfection. It's a step closer to the complete acceptance of herself. (Notice as well that right after this point, it becomes more undeniable than ever that Ben is who she wants to be with.)

As long as Paxton was a romantic possibility for Devi, their relationship was tied to her feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Again this is not Paxton's fault -- he assures her of the opposite all the time -- but this is Devi's story, and we are shown over and over that Devi fears true vulnerability with Paxton (both sexually and emotionally). Compare this to the way she has always felt confident, seen, driven, and unabashedly herself in her relationship with Ben, even when they were enemies. At a glance Devi may appear to act more immature in Ben's orbit, but the truth is that she grows with him more than anyone else (besides Nalini) thanks to Ben's penchant for encouraging accountability and showing her that actions can have consequences.

Anyway, TLDR version:

Paxton = Devi's youth, Mohan, grief, distraction, the past, idealism, and the head (constructed ideas).

Ben = Devi's future, Nalini, healing, confrontation, the present, reality, and the heart (authentic truths).

Never Have I Ever's romantic story structure rests on the premise of these symbolic definitions. They are gospel, and while the characters will grow and change and become better versions of themselves, they will do so within the lines that are already drawn. The lines exist for a reason -- they are a narrative tool! These characters cannot and should not 'grow out' of their roles because those roles are their identities within the show's framework. The characters are exactly who they are meant to be right through to the end. They are symbols. If that's not your cup of tea then so be it! But there's nothing wrong with this writing style. In fact it's one of my personal favorites because everything is so neatly defined, yet fascinating to read into 🥰

The imperfect Ben had to be Devi's true love because her love interests are, in a way, reflections of herself. By no fault of his own, Devi always felt the need to be "perfect" for Paxton because that's how she viewed him; a false paragon of everything she wanted to be. That is the point of their story together. Her acceptance of the deep love she has for Ben (and Nalini!), despite his sometimes off-putting demeanor, is aligned with Devi's acceptance of her own imperfections -- that she is hot-headed, she can be self-absorbed, she acts without thinking and makes mistakes -- but that she is also brilliant and driven and caring and radiant, and she is equally worthy of receiving the love that she has to offer others.

Narratively speaking, it was never truly a competition.

[uglypastels]

Corroded Coffin, The Game of Lost Souls (1993)

Love them or hate them, there is no escaping Corroded Coffin. With chart toppers that occupy each radio in the country and controversies following them left and right, good luck finding someone who is not talking about the band these days. But what do the rockers have to say for themselves? To find out, our editors sat down for a conversation with Jeff, Eddie, Gareth and Dougie, spanning all topics from their upcoming new album, The Game of Lost Souls (available in your local record stores this month), to hopes for the future as well as a look back on their previous hits and falls + much much more!

I'm glad everyone could finally join us here, and I'm sure this question has been on your minds since then, so why not get it out of the way? What exactly happened at the AMAs?

J.P. - Boooo [laughs]. C'mon, next question.

The people demand answers, boys. It is, after all, not often that a broadcast gets shut down like it did that day.

E.M. - People demand entertainment. They want scandal and drama. They jump to conclusions and get angry about it, but the second they know and it turns out not to follow the narrative they dreamt up, they'll be just as angry.

But you can't say the same about the hotel room incident last month that was all over the glossy pages; it was all just a dreamt-up narrative by the tabloids, can you?

E.M. - Oh, no. That was completely my fault. But no worries, I paid for the damage.

I'm sure our readers will be happy about that. Then, let's move on to something you can talk about: the new album. How was it getting back in the studio for a third time? Were you nervous?

D.T. - You can say that. After Cryptic we doubted we'd ever set a foot back in there.

Because it wasn't as successful as you had hoped?

D.T. - Yeah, sure. [...] It was tough to get back to the right mindset. It's what helped make our first album what it is, but chasing that sort of high only sets you further back, and it took us a while to realise that.

So, what's different now? Why do you think it will work this time.

E.M. - We don't! As an artist, making something and putting it out there in the world is the biggest gamble you can make. All we can do is hope for the best and that it won't blow up in our --- faces.

But are you happy with the result you're bringing out? Proud?

J.P. - Abso----lutely. We've learned from our mistakes, taken all the feedback we could get without wanting to shoot our bloody brains out, and made the music we wanted to make.

G.R. - Yeah, we're back on our regular bullshit, baby, and I think the fans will see that too.

Any tracks you're most excited for people to listen to? And why?

G.R. - I think the people who sent me all those letters- if you know you know- last year will really enjoy "Scream for Initiative", especially the bridge.

D.T. - "Decade" and "The High Cliff" are great. They might be something new for us, but I think the fans will enjoy them.

E.M. - I would suggest everyone to put "Kneel and Pray" on their next sex mixtape, at least if you're into that kind of freaky shit. And yead, can't wait for everyone to hear "The High Cliff." I think we pulled off something great with that one.

J.P. - For me, it would have to be the title track, man. It just pulls everything together on the album. I got to go all out on the solo, which is always great fun. I definitely can't wait to play that one on tour.

Speaking of a tour, there had been speculation that there might not be one, but that is not true?

G.R -. I would like to think that there would be a tour no matter what we do because performing our music is why we do it and put up with everything else. But at the end of the day, there is much more to it than just us, and sometimes it doesn't go as planned, but the will is definitely there.

E.M. - I beg people to stop reading all this shit- except Black Market, of course - you're not gonna get anything good out of it. if you want fantasy, go read The Hobbit.

J.P. - It is pretty exhausting to walk past a newsstand and see that every cover and headline is another made-up story about you.

I'm sure it is, what's the weirdest one you saw come up?

J.P. - They're not all that bad. I like the ones where it turns out I'm secretly dating supermodels and actresses. It's nice to know that the public at least thinks I have some game.

D.T. - That's because the person who makes up those rumours has never met you. If they had, they'd come to their senses.

G.R. - I liked the one that suggested that Eddie made out with a dog.

E.M. - Yeah, I think they mistook your mom for it.

Let's keep it nice, boys.

E.M. - Sorry, sorry. [laughs]

[rest of the interview not found]

- the Corroded Coffin Archive (Source: Black Market Magazine)