#people i organize with irl talk like this too it makes me fucking sick

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

You know one thing I'm tired of is I'm really fucking tired of terminally online leftists/communists "ironically" flirting with calling far-right/fascist pundits and policies "based" "tankiepilled" or whatever other dumbfuck terminally online babyspeak they use. People calling T*cker Carlson a "comrade" every time he airs a segment with some weak right-wing populist class war shit. Calling themselves "Marjorie Taylor Greene-pilled" because of her opinions on Biden's foreign policy. Lol lol lol it's so funny and ironic guys right?? Right??? Fuck off

[raviollies]

I need to vent

Idk if it's just hormones making me have issues or my meds have genuinely started just not being enough but I've been feeling so fucking dogshit the last few days. I just feel like the meds made me not think about the glass where little things that remind me of how much of a pathetic loser I am piled up and today it just overflowed.

I wish I was invited to things. I wish I could go out to places with people. I am so jealous of people on social media that go out to have drinks with their friends or hang out because I just don't have irl friends. I can blame it on the fact that I've moved 6 times, but at what point do I just accept that people or me just don't connect. I have online friends and I treasure them but it doesn't negate that I wish...I had people to go places with. I don't know how to make friends where I am, I try to be friendly and inviting with the coworkers my age which is few but they seem to lose interest in me. I can never hold anyone's attention.

Online I talk to only the same 4 people and that's it, same hurdle. Outside those 4, I can't seem to hold anyone's attention. I try to be welcoming but at a point I think I just have to accept that something about me is just...unwanted.

I always feel like if I don't offer people something then they won't stick around. "If I draw for them" If I "organize this for them" if I "buy this for them". I grovel and beg for others to like me like a circus animal. The concept of being INVITED to something like playing a game feels like a water bottle dangled in front of a parched man in a desert.

So I just try not to think about it , go to work, go home, draw, sleep and repeat.

And so my entire self worth hinges on my work performance and art. I feel worthless if I make mistakes or am behind (through literally no fault of my own) and when my art just...flops. because those things tell me that I'm not good at that either. And if I'm not a good work or a good artist then what's the point. I'm not good at being a person either evidently. Logically I understand that things at work are outside my control or that the value of art isn't determined by stupid little online hearts but that doesn't stop my brain from being unable to connect emotions and logic. I end up crying all the same.

I'm jealous of people who don't care for this. Who can freely post and create art for themselves without waiting for approval like I just did a trick I was taught. Who can do things on their own and aren't crippled by the empty seats beside them. That I didn't get jealous when other people are invited to things wishing I could be too. That could just be happy for others without having that negging feeling of being pathetic.

I often fantasized about getting sick because it would make people pity me and pay attention to me without me needing to grovel like a dog. I feel pathetic begging for scraps of attention from others but if I don't, I get nothing and feel even worse. My choices are to feel like I'm a parasite being annoying and clingy or just staring at a wall in silence with a completely silent phone.

It's just hard to think about the fact that if I died today, my funeral wouldn't even have 5 attendees.

[artisplatters]

GENLOSS ANALYSIS TIME

Spoilers ahead, go watch the vid if you havent already

Also I'm writing this as I'm watching it so don't mind any inconsistancies too badly

Episode 1: Spirit of the Cabin

So right off the bat we have confirmation that the ingredients Ran was being made to cook (and Charlie being made to eat) are actually various organs and flesh bits.

Actually, maybe this was already confirmed but I don't remember there being flash-backs in the original, but then again i only learned how to move frame-by-frame recently (like... today)

And then that explains Charlie's hesitance in eating the dish! He's still under mind control but its some crazy cool resistance that he was able to put it off as long as he did.

And when Ran's mask is flashing we now can hear soundbits from later on in the experiments, from whenever he's not under control, an audio testament that they've been through this multiple times like a loop. Which yeah, we already were told that when the mask lights its because he's receiving memories again, but we (or at least, I) didn't know the memories were of the exact events shown in the episodes.

My only question at the moment in regard to that is that, everyone killed was definitely, irl, actually for-real killed (in universe), so how are they brought back to do it again? Clones? Future resuscitation tech?Are they just conscious corpses being puppeted around like some sorta sick marionette show?

And Sneeg, oh Sneeg, the way he was made to stand so rigidly while Ran was asleep, couldn't even move or sit, just looking around frantically. I wonder if he was made to feel like it had actually been 8 hours. I wouldn't put it past Showfall Media.

Episode 2: The Mastermind of the Warehouse

So, it seems like they cut out the Mastermind's little bit of a freakout when he gave Ran "a little bit of juice" that almost killed them, they also made it look like Ran's recovery from it was much quicker. Makes me curious, but I guess they don't want any of the audience thinking the "villain" is just as scared and unwilling as the heroes yet.

Though with how blunt they are with the other murderous torturous stuff, I'm surprised thats one of the things they chose to cover up.

Speaking of which, the surgery section.

God, the surgery section.

Also sped through a bit, understandably, but that cut away to the security camera where he's just screaming in agony.

It hits way harder like that oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

Charlie is an absolutely insane actor.

Onto the Carousel! Which, by the way, the animation blips have been so fun and they are so well done, amazing work on the animation team's part.

OHHH WHEN SNEEG GETS HIS HAT BACK HE GETS FLASHBACKS TO THE CABIN

You see him freak out at remembering but him trying to keep his composure, UGH such good acting. And him saying he needed to go to the bathroom so he can try to escape, still can't believe that almost worked.

But when they catch him with the mask? So much fucking creepier somehow. Everything went dead silent and froze, and even though his body is compliant you can see the anger and fear in his mind. Also felt like that lasted longer than before.

And then how everyone just snaps back and gets into "acting" again, also super fucking creepy. Insanely well executed.

now, skipping forward to after Nikki's death, when Ran goes through the door after the Mastermind... FACTORY RESET? It says factory reset? How far back does that take Ran? They seem to still remember what they had been through so what exactly is it resetting?

I dont remember the slimetowel segment at all, I feel like it was added. Though that would be the nature of generation loss, not being able to tell what was added and taken away.

Episode 3: The Choice

Oh boy here we are again

The transition being in the style of one of those "classified document" videos is a great touch, cuz it does go "off-script" here supposedly, though we all know thats not the actual case.

Ran trying to talk to the camera people still breaks my heart, they're not in control all they can do is film.

Also, can't believe I ever thought Hetch was a good guy after hearing "You aren't supposed to leave yet" and then the blatant lie that everyone is still alive. Like I never trusted him to begin with but he seemed about as trustworthy as everyone else thats under control.

The way Hetch talks about the company makes it sound like its some sort of eldritch entity, rather than a business conglomerate. And who's to say it isn't, with how it's "repurposed" and "recycled" literal human beings, turning them into brainless automatons. Also the cut to Charlie's stream startled me lol.

Aw man, the music/heartbeat/ringing drowning out Charlie's voice after they find Hetch and get the map. Incredible way of showing Ran's mental shock.

Ȩ̵̏p̵̬͊ị̶̼̋s̷̺͝ö̶̪́̒d̷̹͉̓̑ȇ̶͚͓̀ ̷̤͛͝3̶̨̥̾:̶̥̌ ̵̱̫̔Ṭ̶̺́h̴͔͑̈́ḙ̸̻̅ ̵̱̉̂H̸̞̄e̶̬̠̎͐ṟ̸̜́̾o̶̳͊͝

Ough

Still hurts

The change I've noticed here is that we start zoomed in on Ran's face, whereas I think before we could see the whole scene from the start, Hetch, all of it.

And WOAH, the flashes of the photos before the announcement? Are those all photos of them when they were kids? thats such an amazingly disturbing detail.

Another disturbing detail, the zoom-in and silence following the box closing, showing all the blood pouring out. Horrifying. Not even any music or anything while the credits roll. Really lets the audience sit in what just happened.

The Therapy Sequence

I'm calling it the Therapy Sequence based on how the dialogue sounds, though it very much could be psychology or something else.

This Ms. Roads Character is new, I believe

She's been having "vivid, scary dreams" and says to call her Zero, which ha ha pun but also kinda sad. Zero Roads is a kind of hopeless sounding name.

And then, in the unlisted vid, its the Founder giving us the tape of the social experiments.

"Its your experiments now"

I hope people who are able to afford to buy the tapes will share it's contents with the rest of the community. "Communication is Key" and yada yada.

I have no doubts that there's more secrets to be found within.

Final Notes

I'm so fucking proud of Ranboo, oh my god

This story that they're weaving continues to amaze and inspire me, its so incredible that he's gotten to create this.

I'm so excited for what happens next.

[bobamilkk]

TF2 HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

I told myself I’d get these up one of these days👍 I finished this list at 4 am last night so none of this makes any sense and every word is more chaotic than the ones before it and no I’m not sorry y’all sighed up for this bs

Scout

-Can understand a good chunk of French but can’t speak more than a few simple words if that, has no clue how he understands it (Spy spoke a good amount of French around him as a baby or something idk)

-Can be just has hard to find as Spy-once you loose sight of him he’s impossible to find if he’s actually trying to stay hidden-Like father like son

-Can and will steal your food-this includes Heavy and Medic-He has no fear whatsoever and has been sent to respawn god knows how many fucking times because of this-And yet he still does it

-Loves scifi movies and comics and if you watch a movie with him half of it is him pointing out random trivia facts because he’s incapable of shutting the fuck up (this is also what happens when you watch a movie with me irl. My grandparents are sick and tired of it. Yes this is even more self projection what of it?)

-has mastered the younger sibling talent of fucking climbing people if it means getting something that’s held over his head. He also bites

Soldier

-it’s impossible to tell if he’s insulting you or complimenting you 90% of the time

-Has stabbed Scout’s hand to the table to prevent him from stealing food before and no one stopped him

-The team has movie nights once a week and Soldier always puts on the same inaccurate WW2 documentary he made himself when it’s his turn to pick-he used to put on 10 hours of the American National Anthem but someone (read: The rest of the team working together) lost (read: Violently destroyed) the tape after the third time

-I said he was from Missouri once in a rp cuz my rp friend and I are both from different parts of Missouri so that’s my hc now

Pyro

-I always hc him as Irish for some reason idk why

-Can casually pick up every merc except for Heavy-He struggles a bit with Medic because that man is pure muscle but they can indeed pick him up

-May or may not be a cannibal-it’s a little uncertain but either way they’re banned from the kitchen and cooking duty

-I’m a sucker for the hc that he does not like water whatsoever-Getting this man a bath is like trying to bathe a cat except somehow even more deadly

Demo

-This may be the impulsive sleep deprivation but my brain randomly went “What If he can see general ghosts because of his possessed eye socket, not just Eyelander or the scream fortress ghosts” so sometimes people walk in on him casually having a conversation with the air. Considering he’s made out with his own organs in his head, this is one of the less weird things they’ve walked in on him doing

-Surprisingly he’s the best with kids out of all 9 mercs, Heavy is a good runner up though and Spy’s not far behind but will never admit it

Heavy

-Accent gets thicker when he’s talking to people he cares about

-Was the one who suggested the movie nights in the first place

-Actually cleans up in the base unlike literally everyone else

Engie

-People don’t realize how unhinged this man is ok??? Anyways he’s a caffeine addict and has developed the habit of pulling way too many all nighters if it means getting work done (like me. It’s 4 am as I work on this list. Help)

-What’s a southern farm boy without a few dozen concerning stories about pushing cousins out of second story barn windows or near drowning fishing story? My cousins lived on a farm when we were kids and they scared the shit out of me I swear there was a new broken bone every summer

-probably once had a sleep deprived mental breakdown on his workshop floor because the sweet tea one of the mercs made him wasn’t sweet enough idk man I’m sleep deprived rn and could really use a southern style sweet tea

Medic

-Mann vs Machine hc that his hometown would rather deal with the robots than having Medic anywhere near them ever again. They want him GONE

-Sleeps like a fucking corpse-You can’t even tell he’s breathing unless you look closely. He even crosses his arms like a corpse

-Will take you graverobbing for a romantic date-gotta get experiment canvases somehow he’s running out of room on the other mercs without them just dropping dead from it all

Sniper

-The opposite of a morning person, but his internal clock won’t let him sleep in ever. The suns up? He’s up! Someone help him

-Has befriended a wild owl and feeds it at night-The offense trio very violently helped him name it (They fist fought eachother over who’s name was better while Sniper spaced out thinking about random gator facts)

Spy

-An adrenaline junkie but will never ever admit it

-Spy can mimic voices to a near perfect even without his disguise kit-he however rarely uses this and instead simply mocks everyone instead because he finds it funny (“This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!”)

-Wears a corset because I said so-It always matches perfectly with his outfit and underwear too-He feels SO bonita

Bonus since it’s Pride Month

-Scout is gay and so many levels deep in the closet it’s embarrassing-He’s also trans because I said so

-Soldier is trans, bi, and poly :) his list of wives consists of anyone and everyone /j

-Spy is bi and a cis man who wears dresses regularly he’s gnc af and I love that for him he’s my wife now

-Medic is gay and still legally married to his wife they’re mlm wlm solidarity married for tax benefits /j

-Pyro is trans, non-binary, and pan and uses he/they pronouns because I said so

-None of these men are straight ok

-Medic did both Scout and Soldier’s top surgery but both of them instead have overly extravagant extremely gorey stories on how they got their scars

[adaine-party-wizard]

okay i gotta vent about this but i don’t know how to talk to people i know irl about it so time to scream into the void!!!

CW: EDs/ disordered eating/ weight loss

so i’ve been sick for like a month probably. i have mono which has lead to this fun combo of too exhausted to eat and swollen organs that mean my stomach is smaller so i have less of an appetite. because of this, i’ve unintentionally lost between 5-10lbs (idk my exact weight before i was sick to know for sure)

so there’s that, in combination with my mom taking ozempic for weight loss which is like fucking with my head (straight up didn’t think that was legal in canada, off label use of drugs like that feels like some american shit), and my grandma ordering whatever new supplement people wearing lab coats on the shopping channel tell her will make her lose weight (hers is fine but moms is bad cause whatever she’s taking is “natural” according to the people trying to sell it to her)

i have a history of disordered eating and it was getting better, my problems with eating were becoming less like active trying to starve myself to lose weight and more i’m just bad at feeding myself on accident. but like idk all of this is making it so much worse? my whole family is on this determined to lose weight by any means necessary thing and i’ve accidentally lost weight and because i’ve lost weight my brain is like oh keep doing that you don’t wanna gain it back right and that is Not A Good Mindset. and like im not happy i lost weight? my ass is shrinking and that’s making me sad. i didn’t want to lose weight im losing it cause im sick but its fucking with my head and leading me back down that ED pipeline and i’m just having a hard time with it and idk how to like navigate it

so i’m screaming into the void because idk how to talk to my irl friends about this without scaring them or like in a way that makes sense but i need to get this out of my head

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[acourtesanofedgewater]

Open Heart 3 Ch. 8 SPOILERS for Bryce/Raf/Jackie Stans

I know I'm one day late. Blame PB for releasing the scripts so late. Why they even did that? Idk. It's not like this chapter is good.

Oh, here we are again. Honestly guys? I'm pissed off lmao. And you will be too when you're done reading this. But enough talking, let's begin. Beware, spoilers below the cut

Let's start with Bryce

•He DOES make an appearance this chapter AND has a diamond scene. Should we celebrate? Nah. It seems the only options with characters who-are-not-Ethan in this book are not having appearances at all or having mediocre little plots when they do appear. He makes his cameo at the begging. He's in the lobby with a friend of his, who's sick and wants Bryce to operate on him but Bryce seems reluctant to do so because it's a dangerous surgery. Does it have anything to do with his failed surgery? We won't find out, because instead of his premium scene being about... idk, having a coffee while he tells us about the consequences of his mistakes (not only at work, but also mentally), it is about... visiting a Escape Room with him and his friend? Um, ok. Should I mention that Bryce's pal call MC his 'friend' twice? Yep, PB still refuses to acknowledge MC's relationship with Bryce, even though they've been together for two years and shared a tender moment when MC was about to die. When I was reading the scene, I was like "uuugh, let me guess? we get this corny funny scene and near the ending Bryce and MC find a hideout to make out". Turns out I was wrong lmao. I expect nothing and I'm still let down. They just share a little kiss I front of Bryce's friend when they are leaving the Escape Room. It is mentioned they all are gonna have dinner after this, but we don't get to see that because that would mean PB has to actually write interesting dialogue and develop Bryce and that's sacrilege.

Ok, Jackie's turn.

•She doesn't show up in this chapter. She's not even mentioned. Silly us, Jackie already had her crumbs of development last chapter, there's no need to give her more screentime this chapter lmao. Not when that screentime can be used developing Ethan.

And lastly, Raf.

•He turns up too, but it's a situation similar to Bryce's. He's rehabilitating a little boy who's sad because he will miss his birthday, so enter the bonus scene where MC has the idea of recruiting Sienna too and organizing a surprise party for the kid in the Pediatric Ward. It's actually a cute scene, and spending time with Sienna is always good, but that's the problem. The scene is about the little boy, zero Raf development or plot, and I even feel he wasn't even needed here. We know Sienna visits the PW every once in a while so they could've made her be the one who came to us with the little kid situation and everything would have turned out to be the same, except for some dialogues. Then, near the end, Raf and MC share some flirting words and a little kiss, but everything is in front of the kids, so it's over pretty quick.

And... that's it for our LIs. It sucks, but it's not the worst thing abour this chapter. I'm gonna leave some spoilers of the general plot here below so you can be as angry as me.

•MC confronts Ethan about the trial thing. You can choose to go soft on him or be outraged and point out he's a piece of shit. I recommend the second option. Anyway, if you end up agreeing with him about his decision, he says something like: "I knew you'd understand me, you care about these patients as much as I do" which, for me, given the fact he's older than MC and their boss (and being a victim of grooming myself by someone older than me and that was kinda in a position of power above me too) IS FUCKING GROOMING. If you had any doubts the lead of this book is a creep.

•Yadda yadda, we get Bryce and Raf's mediocre scenes, and back to the main plot, MC and Tobias have to diagnose a patient together. The patient is the most annoying character on this series, only below Ethan. Seriously, she's worse than that Nigel guy from Book 1 who called Bryce "Ken doll". Tobias is kinda shady with her (but... light and funny shady. He's never mean or anything) and we're supposed to be like "ugh, Tobias is the worst" but the patient is annoying so yeah, I loved Tobias' actitude.

•There were lots of Tobias moments this chapter, and he's honestly really nice. I hope we can keep him in Edenbrook. We could even kick Ethan's ass out in order to raise his salary❤.

•Ok, and now the cherry on top of a shitty chapter. Do y'all remember how we were afraid PB was gonna make Harper MC's rival? It seemed like they had dropped that plot and we were safe... but it turns out they haven't. Harper finds out our patient has cheated their way into the trial and while Tobias and MC are bonding in the DT' office, she comes in furious as hell, and starts blaming the MC and insulting them, assuming they're the one who did the trial thing. Harper' screams are so loud that Ramsey, who was in the hall, listens and comes in running. Harper explains what "MC" did and we have three options: blame Ethan, insist we're not guilty but not blame Ethan, and ignore the accusations. Either way, Harper keeps on with the accusations (she's even more enraged if you blame Ethan)

•Ethan lets her mop the floor with MC a bit more before stopping her and admitting he's the one who cheated. Harper is shocked and Ramsey HAS THE AUDACITY of angrily leave the office. He really thinks he's the one who should be outraged in this situation. He's the most childish character PB has ever created. (Props to Tobias for being the only decent character in this situation, asking Harper to calm down because she couldn't know for sure it MC was to blame in this situation).

•MC runs after him. And sure, irl I'd run after him too, but to confront him and complain about all the mess his shitty behavior has caused (or, how we say in my country, putearlo. I wanna clarify to my fellow Latinoamericans, "putear" has a different meaning in Ecuador than in the rest of Latam lmao for us is similar to "mandar a la verga" JAJSJAJAJSK). But no, MC fucking goes to see if he's alright. And cue to the most ridiculous scene in this series:

•Okay, I know we all made fun of the BDSM outfits when the assets came out, and yeah, they're cringey af, but I was curious to see how the story would develop towards these outfits. Everyone guessed they meant kinky time with out LIs. Wrong again. Ethan is so mad about... well, idk why he's so mad, he's just facing the consequences of his actions, but anyway, he needs to release that frustration and that's when we're offered the kinky outfit. Yep, the kinky scene is Ethan-exclusive. It was so fucking easy to include the other LIs in this. Bryce could be frustrated because he's not the same after his failed surgery, Jackie because she has to lead the interns and Jade keeps screwing up, and Raf... well, he should be mad because PB tried to kill him and then decided not to but kept sidelining him and can't even give him a decent storyline could be frustrated because it's exhausting to try to help the patients when they make little progress and become disappointed. PB just was lazy and didn't care.

•Don't ask me about the BDSM scene, nothing in this world will make me read a sex scene with Ethan. I kept scrolling until I was sure that abomination was over. Although I caught the word "safe word" somewhere there so... yeah.

•The next day after that heated discussion, MC enters the DT' office. Harper doesn't even offer an apology for treating MC like shit, she acts like nothing happened. MC notices there's this peace in the air and there's no whining, so they ask where's Ethan

•Turns out, Harper reported MC to their superiors when she thought it was them who messed up the trial and now Ethan had to turn himself in and is meeting with the board. Then, she blatantly admits that if she knew Ethan was the one who did it, she would have talked to him first. She says she regrets telling the board, although, as she doesn't offer MC an apology, it seems she only regrets getting Ethan in trouble, not her awful attitude. Tobias is named the new leader of the DT, and that's the only highlight in this mess of a chapter.

I have more thoughts about everything, but I'll post them tomorrow, when they can reach more people. And I'll catch up with this shitt book just so I can join the mob law tomorrow lmao. See you then.

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fanon characterization of the Calypso twins between me and The Wild West Pyro: 

We both have the strong sinking feeling that the twins are slowly going to lose it as the game goes on, so here’s our collaborated analysis of the two:

I’ll be in non-cool text, while The Wild West Pyro will be in italics, for easier distinction between us. [There will be slight edits and changes for cohesion]

“It would be pretty interesting if we found out the Calypsos/the cult started out with 'good intentions'.”

“Hell, you can see the populism kicking in there.What did the writers say? Ah. "Your poor bandits! You're kicked around and nobody likes you, but we can give you a purpose in life! We can make you feel appreciated and loved!" [This is a reference to the Danny Homan interview] Something of that line.”

“oh yeah! the twins are also providing them with food and weaponry. i mean i can see why a bandit desperate for something better would follow them.”

“I'm guessing how this goes: The Twins start off by winning people over by talking about how they want Pandora to be finally at peace after endless war and giving the bandits a new life where they're treated like actual people. Then once they've got enough people, they say that the Raiders have to go, the corporations have to go, with the Vaults seized the universe will see no more war. Actually, I'm predicting rn that they have a very, very cult-like end goal in terms of IRL parallels.What if they choose to "cleanse" the universe with whatever power Tyreen possesses? And once everything standing in their way is gone, they can create this ideal utopian peaceful universe where there's no corporations and no more fighting. Meanwhile the Eridians are panicking because they know it's a doomed plan and the Vaults do not work like that.”

“[this is very much a] large scale Opportunity situation. literally reverse uno card as to what jack was attempting”

“Yep. Paradise for the common man bandit. OTL parallels to what usually sparks communist revolutions or popular revolutions in general. So yeah, Tyreen could very easily justify herself in that she genuinely wants to bring peace to the universe, with all means necessary. Of course, internally, the Twins just want to be gods and play at being them and hold onto their power as absolute rulers presiding over an eternally-grateful populace.”

“definitely sounds like two teenage cult leaders to me ngl. i could see them not being too secure in themselves (behind the vvv confident personas they put on) and constantly second guessing themselves and reassuring that they're doing this for everyone's own good even as things just keep getting worse and worse. could [have] a tie-in to whatever tragic backstory they might have”

“Yep and yep. And there's this internal fear that they don't know what being a god entails, if they'll lose sense of who they are or not... but put that aside. All for the greater good! I'm actually thinking about this. People note that the Twins are basically streamer critiques, which is a yes. But if you want to take them to serious universe-spanning villain territory, I think that they'll absorb the knowledge from Elpis at one point. And they start to become more detached and more frightening, and a lot more eloquent as they really start becoming gods in the BL sense. While still being narcissistic attention whores who actually like killing people off with their powers but pretend to act benevolent. Essentially, you have the Greek Gods except there's two Zeuses, one is a girl and they've both got all of Zeus's worst traits cranked up to eleven.”

“oh god are they gonna dick everything that moves? oh no... cover ava's eyes! joking aside, that sounds accurate. especially given the borderlands universe loves to tie in its greek mythology. also also i am glad someone else agrees the twins are going to elpis. i refuse to believe they'd destroy it/blow it up before going there for the info. that shit is valuable! especially if you want to convince people you're gods?? accurately predicting the future is insanely good for doing that! plus all the other cool shit you can do by knowing exactly what's going to happen.”

“It also makes the Twins much more dangerous if they can see every outcome...unfortunately, Lilith is very good at playing 4D Chess by now.”

“lilith, putting on her sunglasses and cracking her knuckles: it's time to show them what a real military organization can do. ellie is her hype woman with the drink and a towel. also also lilith is probably kicking herself for not being fast enough this time to punch the vault symbol into tyreen's face.”

“Honestly, I'd love Lilith to turn out to be this really crafty, really charismatic guerrilla warfare commander. Like an Innie leader but they're hypercompetent, not a terrorist and also have Keyes's sheer talent for analyzing battles and tactics and adapting accordingly. Lilith sitting up in Sanc-III being BL!Keyes except a lady and specializing in ground warfare would be sick.”

“yes. fucking. please. gearbox please give lily all the character development, your girl deserves it. im glad because it does seem like she's getting there when you crash land on Promethea. and even the way she handles herself on the bridge is very smooth and confident.”

“tfw you can see the future and, yet, the lady you robbed of her siren powers is outsmarting you 24/7, 365 days a year despite you being able to see the future. also you're trying to fight fate and desperate to change reality so that you can't lose like the future said you would. joke's on you, you cannot fight it.”

“There is no changing it. bonus points if ty only saw the very end, so she is utterly clueless on how the middle bits play out. so lilith is kicking her ass across elpis and she's like ‘this is NOT how i saw this going’.”

“I'd seriously imagine that life in BL corporate society really is like life in Rapture or Columbia. The upper class profits immensely and reaps all the best goods, but they refuse to do the dirty work themselves so they rely on this huge workforce who they constantly cheat, lie and exploit. The few achieve huge power and stuff at the expense of the many. Looking at the Twins in the parallels of how revolutions go, they'll basically go from recruiting the bandits to recruiting the huge lower class of every planet.  Looking at records from all the planets, we've got people being screwed over again and again, corruption and other nasties. The Twins claim that they want all corporations to go, to bring some form of unified government back to the galaxy. And it works- their army size quadruples overnight and goes from there. By the time we get to Promethea, the COV are already recruiting everyone dissatisfied with corporate life. If they successfully seize control of Maliwan like I predict, they'll be a force to be reckoned with. The Twins will use the masses to achieve some sort of theocratic revolution, [they] claim that it's all for everyone's good. But in reality, they want to be absolute rulers of the universe, gods worshipped and feared by all.”

“Oh yeah, the twins are definitely feeding (maybe literally) off the huge numbers of dissatisfied people across the universe- the mega corporations are evil, no doubt there are millions of people waiting for something better. tbh, if gaige wasn't booted from the main game, I could see a whole side story of her having started a revolution somewhere, and then joining up with the Crimson Raiders once her entire party just up and joined the CoV. And [I would] 100% bet the twins started a campaign against DAHL and Atlas and suddenly nearly every bandit on pandora joined up with them. (also Athena was sitting in a chair clutching at the armrests and janey was like "don't you fuckin dare, hon" and athena is like "but... Atlas...")”

[We talk more about Gaige’s anarchist revolution and trying to topple the mega corporations in a less cult-y fashion here]

“... Bonus points 2: The COV fire up the memories of Jack to rally everyone into opposing Hyperion and suddenly Athena is like "OK I'm not going, mobilize the army." And Janey is like ‘Here we go...’.”

[we joke around a little bit more about Athena and Janey here]

“I can imagine Rhys's internal conflict, knowing that he has to make the galaxy a better place but at the same time, maintain his corporate power and control because without it, he's doomed. Then again, Rhys is no stranger to doing shady stuff. I think a lot of the Twins's evil will be in how they treat their followers.There's all the smooth-talking and promises of the future. And then when you actually get there, you're brainwashed into being another unthinking, 100% loyal attack dog for them. And you follow everything they ask you to do for 100%, even if they use you for power experiments or cannon fodder. And the game will remind us that these people weren't all bandits - over the course of the story, the COV includes people like former corporate execs, entire families, people who were just trying to get by day to day. And now we as Vault Hunters have to kill all these ordinary people to save the universe. Tough choices, eh?“

“Oh geez, you know that's a really fair point. i know borderlands likes to push the 'morally gray' aspect of things, but holy shit that's dark. (not saying i don't love it though, i totally do lol) You’re probably 100% right that rhys is struggling internally. especially after being so closely tied up with hyperion and even fiona and sasha, seeing exactly what hyperion did to people not just on helios but the people trying to live their daily lives and survive on pandora. im sure he has a similar reasoning to himself as the twins: im doing this for the better of the people. i can help so many more people with this money and power. somewhat similar to handsome jack, but hopefully lorelei (if she's not evil) helps ground him and keep him from jumping into the middle-to-deep end.”

“I'm still betting that Rhys will remain on the good side, if a teensy bit unscrupulous. I mean, the whole thing about the Twins is that they're social commentary of livestreamers and influencers and the incredibly toxic influence they can have. There are countless aspects of that to explore. If streamers can mobilize their entire loyal fanbases to bully the crap outta some poor chump or buy things or let their fans believe that they know the streamer 100% as a person and not a persona, the Twins can convince people to go to war.”

“Oooh yeah, it's not hard to imagine they probably don't even need the brainwashing for a majority of their cult, just the select few who are either on the fence or against it, but are [still] 'available'. irl streamers can be seriously fuckin scary, man, im not surprised this is the route gearbox is going for. now, it would be severely fucked up if there was a scene where tyreen demands someone kill themselves on the spot and they do without hesitation. if you watch the moze gameplay there seems to be a hint of something like that going on over the radio/TVs, she mentions something about their sacrifice or something, then you hear a dude screaming/gurgling.”

“Everyone's thinking that Tyreen will be this laughable, entertaining villain. But I'm constantly seeing hints and estimating that she is going to be far, far more scarier than we give her credit for. For one, Jack was a presence largely relegated to audio. We only physically saw him in BL2 twice. The Twins run a cult, which itself is frightening already. And it looks like we'll be seeing them in person very often.”

“Oh yes, tyreen is fucking terrifying. i mean even that she can steal siren powers is already a huge "whoa what the fuck" in my book. that one line at the end of the HBC where she's like "you're my most loyal follower vault thief, you just don't know it yet"? fucking scary, how her voice drops and gets all serious for a split second and then the hologram just cuts out. i was like "wh- wait hang on-???" i definitely think she is putting up a persona and as the game goes on we're slowly going to watch her lose it. troy will probably grow a bit distant from her as well if he doesn't lose it, too. definitely think ty is going to try and kill him once he's of no use to her, because he's just been a pain in her side because she had to keep him alive as the brains of the operation. but once the operation is done... whoops. sorry pal. don't need you anymore. they're the main villains, i can't see her holding the bonds of family in high regard at all. she could totally write off his death as like ‘he sacrificed himself for the Great Vault, now we pray to him every day and sacrifice ourselves in his name’ or smth”

“She puts up this fun-loving persona as a streamer, but she then decides the Vault Hunters get to see her true self. It is not pretty. It makes Jack look like a kitten-cuddling fluffball, that's how bad the real Tyreen is. It makes Piston and Vasquez sound like friendly guys you'd take out for lunch after work. It makes Hector's goals look very reasonable and sane. Also, perhaps she kills him and we never see how she did it, which ups the scare factor. It's like Troy disappeared and we have no idea how she killed him and how long it took for him to die. We just find a lot of irreconcilable proof that Troy is dead now and we don't know how. That is the amount of horror I'm estimating.”

“Oh man I love this. That's so horrible (in a good way), I can 100% see it happening. Jack swore revenge for us killing the person he 'loved'. Tyreen herself kills the person she 'loved' and we start to realize holy shit this is the real deal. She can't even pretend to care like Jack pretended to care (he didn't actually care about Angel as a person, but he did say things to try and make Angel think he did, just putting that out there cuz I don't wanna sound like I support him lol). There's just a complete contrast between her and Jack during the final levels of the game. Jack stops joking around "you feel that, child killer?", he's dead serious and ready to kill vs Tyreen laughing or just being off the rails bubbly for her 'streamer persona' while looking utterly unhinged”

so yeah, the convo teetered off after this a bit, but the general gist is that Tyreen is going to go absolutely off-the-wall by the end of the main story. this is somewhat supported by the Danny Homan interview that states the twins are going to have their relationship warp and twist.Tyreen is going to start going crazy with all the powers she absorbs and realize once the plan is over she won’t need Troy’s expertise anymore, and Troy is going to get sick of being relegated to the side when he’s the one with the master plan. We both have the deep feelings the twins aren’t going to stay as charismatic as they are in the little bit of promo material we’ve gotten of them. which i get, because in a lot of the official trailers, Troy looks pissed. Tyreen is always super smug no matter what shot she’s in, but Troy... he looks very angry in some shots we get. even when Ty is holding his forearm in that one shot, he rips his arm out of her grip. For example: “How many IRL streamer "friends" get into ridiculous drama and feuds with each other? Answer: a lot. Could be mirroring that with the twins. A lot of people are saying that the new villains will never match up to Jack. This is our take, and we're proud of it, and very confident in Gearbox's new writing team. ”

EDIT: some edits made by The Wild West Pyro

[icharchivist]

I’m starting back classes in 2 days and i admit i’m probably starting to freak out a little a h ah a h and that makes me self reflect again (i’ll find out how to get back to a therapist once the school year will be officially rolling bc i’ll sure need it a ha ha but in the meantime onto the readmores of the depth of my blog)

and it just... guh I’ve stopped going to any classes about 3 years ago exactly? Like, gave up completely, and that followed mostly that when i had a breakdown about 3 years ago i was having panic attacks all the time at the uni and ended up having hard case of... at least i’ll say “zoning out” bc i was panicking, except i was zoning out in the middle of the road and that’s STRAIGHT UP not a good time when you’re realizing you’ve almost been hit 3 times in 10 mins by a car bc of that man ✌

Like begining 2015 there was so much issues with my father back then, that’s when i cut ties, but i had that major breakdown i didn’t recover properly from, that had me eventually stop my studies back then and one of the reasoning was specifically “i cannot handle the stress of class on top of stress of my personal life” (which included the fact my family at home was always super toxic and honestly the more time i spend away from my ex-step-dad the most i realize how much unhealthy coping mechanisms i took just to try to survive with him at home while it drained all of my energy)

Like one of the things was that i would get yelled at if i didn’t do the dishes/wasn’t doing the grocery shopping or all sort of things and it just that i came back from school too exhausted + with my father stuff I legit couldn’t handle those stuff, so i threw out school so at least I could do the stuff at home i would get yelled at if i didn’t do, so at least i wouldn’t be stressed on that angle.

And that’s pretty fucked up to think it was one of my motivations back then ah ah ha h but survival y’all ✌

The thing is that then i stopped going to classes for 6 months so, then i started my art school bc i couldn’t stay without classes, problem is that my health got far worse back then with multiple sicknesses due to stress adding up and getting worse with the stress of school and of my dad and of the fact it was still bad at home, and the fact i straight up didn’t like the people i was in class with?? I mean they were fine and i was social with them, it was a peaceful environment but i was more kinda tolerating this and just.. trying not to bound much with people. And hey that worked out i have absolutly no idea who any of the people i’ve spent a full year with are doing ✌

The thing is that after that i tried the history uni and it’s when i started to have the panic attacks and zoning out and after one week i was just... too terrified to be around people. Like straight up terrified, i couldn’t talk to anyone, i was trembling when I was near my classrooms, I was on the verge of crying everytime someone addressed to me somehow, it was so so so so bad.

Anyway i dropped out that course after a week so y EAH and then i didn’t go to school the years that followed, bc there was administrations problems with the courses i wanted to take and i was asking help from my parents bc i was petrified at the idea of dealing with them and my parents didn’t help at all.

And tbh it would have been the same this year too over the fact it still completely petrifies me, except that this time my best friends helped me out organize, so i actually got through with the problems, and they’re fantastic and i love them-

But yeah now i’m thinking about the fact that it’s very likely the toxicness of my family made me close in and i started to be terrified of hanging around people i didn’t know well, that there is this sort of emotional effort to make that at least on top of the work i had to do with my family was too much. 

And now i’ve left my family, i still have to deal with the nastiness of my dad and god i’m so tired, i ended up blocking him the other day but it’s getting so bad and i’m so tired we can just say it’s ANOTHER trial because OF COURSE it is JUST ANOTHER ONE, because we’re a NORMAL FAMILY and *bangs head on table* guh not the point of that post, but that had been heavy on me lately there is so much annoying stuff happening familywise. 

And yeah I mean i’ve left but i’m far from healed from anything either and i just...

I know i’m good at talking with people sometimes, creating non threatening environment and all, being friendly, but i’m just panicked being around people. 

I live in a student room and the kitchen is common to the whole stair and i’ve been avoiding it for about a month. A. month. Granted also bc i don’t know how to make part of it works and i’m too stressed up to ask for help, but that’s... that’s part of the problem. I went there a couple of times but if i can avoid it, i do.

Anytime i needed to get cooking i came back at my mom’s place when she was away bc i’m terrified to just... spend time around people i don’t know. 

and i don’t know exactly where it’s from, bc like i mean i’ve been bullied all my way until high school but highschool were the most fantastic years i had socially speaking and i really opened up much more and managed to be far more social during that time, but then... then I guess just having dropped everything to spend all my time handling my family’s temper tantrum and be always hyperaware of their emotions in order to adjust to how i was supposed to work around that just ended up making me project that on everyone i didn’t know originally. 

And it suuucks and i’m going back to school in 3 days and i’m just starting to be stressed out over the fact i’ll sit in class around people and i don’t want to be around people and that a h ah ah ah a h 

and the worst is that i think i actually projected this attitude of mine online those past few years?! 

I’ve always been more social online, more ready to talk and all, hell especially this  blog, but while i have absolutly no problem with people coming to me, or even sometimes talking to people i’ve already grown used to see, then i’ve also grown terrified of like /posting in the tags/, of being seen by people outside of my comfort zone. 

And it... really wasn’t the case before but it is now and i wonder if that’s an extension of the fact i just... tightened my comfort zone with the year to the point of being absolutly panicked about coming out of it.

Like.. i guess it’s already good that I ended up moving away in a place with a lot of people, and man i feel so strong when i actually do manage to go to the kitchen and don’t completely freak out when there are people there.

But YEAH school back in 3 days that will be fun i hadn’t been around people in 3 years and last time i’ve been around huge group of people i had massive panic attacks, that’ll be fun that’ll be fun that’ll be fun. 

So that’s fun, that’s new, that’s something i’ll need to end up dealing with bc this is Not Reassuring but yeah i’ve kinda completely ignored that I had this social problem going on bc i had a hundred of others things to deal with and i’m just now realizing that huh yeah i’ve acted weirdly socially lately i probably need to get that checked and dig in to try to figure out what caused it and eventually try to stop being petrified for no rational reasons other than just... living in the same space as people terrifies me for some reasons.

That’s cool that’s cool that’s cool ✌ ✌ ✌ 

I mean that was to be expected that now that i’m getting out of the toxic situation that shaped my life i have to figure out where that left me and recover from it but i’m straight up not having a good time right now  ✌

anyway meanwhile i’ll just, keep staying in comfort zone with that blog as it is, no need to try to “force myself out of it”, bad plan, not healthy enough for that and i need to do that irl before doing it online, so that’s fun that’s fun, gotta need to find an appointment with a therapist asap, this is gonna be fun wee  ✌

[animentality]

I feel like flat out sobbing or screaming or tearing my own hair out, I feel so bad. My chest is literally caving in with this feeling like I'm about to snap and all of my internal organs are going to implode and collapse.

It feels like a live wound in my chest is pulling itself open.

I want it to stop. I hate how this feels.

It hurts so much and I don't understand why. Is it the medication or am I actually dying?

I don't know.

I want to hit something as hard as I can, I haven't felt this bad ever.

At least when I was numb, I just laid in bed and felt quietly ashamed of myself.

Now I actually hate myself and wish I wasn't so squeamish about the idea of my own corpse.

This is such a pain in the ass.

Why couldn't I be born a normal human being with normal human emotions who wasn't obsessed with everything, who doesn't always fear social interactions, who wants to live their life and isn't afraid of it, who just goes about their day, feeling happy or sad according to what is directly happening to them?

It's not fair, I don't get it, I'm not that bad of a person.

Oh I can feel it in my brain, it's like fire ants running around up there. It makes me want to drill holes in my own skull to claw the feeling out.

It's right behind my right eye.

I'm biting my own knuckles trying to stave off feelings of inadequacy.

My stomach really hurts and I feel like I'm going to die.

I've never felt less like being alive than I do right now.

I feel nauseous and I can feel sickness in my throat.

I don't think I could properly talk to someone, my vocal cords are so fucked.

It's not fair.

I wish I could kill myself, but I'm so irrationally annoyed with the idea that I can't so instead I just think about it.

Why does it feel like something is ballooning inside my throat, not letting me breathe?

I can't breathe because my heart is beating too loud.

Fuck this medication, was it really supposed to help with depression and anxiety?

It's just fucking me over.

I just wanted to be functional.

Why am I this instead?

This miserable piece of shit human who's never done anything meaningful in their miserable 21 years of existence, whose ideas are all shit, whose skills are nonexistent, whose entire world for six years revolved around a fucking Tumblr blog, whose friendships all fell apart because of how cripplingly afraid of truly being honest with people they are, who couldn't admit they were nonbinary for six years, and only on the internet, whose only friends now are internet friends and two irl friends who don't bother to text me, who can't get out of fucking bed, who can't find any hobby that brings them any joy, who plays video games not because they enjoy them but because nothing else in the world gives them any semblance of control, who needs control but can't take it because they're afraid of responsibility and fucking everything up, who wants to be alone all the time, but who's miserable whenever they have only their own stinking thoughts for company.

Have you ever desperately wanted to cry or scream but you can't because you no longer have the capacity to?

I have lost contact with something that made me human and now I just wish I didn't exist at all.

[mlmdarkfiction]

[ points gun ] all of the horror asks

*insert joke abt the Gun Kink anon here*

Slasher Film: What are some of your favorite scary movies? I fucking love the Chucky movies. Which is ironic because as a kid was terrified of them (although I think that’s more due to my father tormenting me with Chucky and I was around maybe 3 or 4 so), I mentioned before I really liked Oculus even though it’s not a “slasher film” it is a scary movie so? And obviously I fucking love the Evil Dead movies. 

Jump Scare: What is a fear that you have? A fear that I have hm. It’s hard because the older I get the less I’m afraid of impractical things. Empty bathrooms is one that gets me, and I know for a fact that fear comes from my father making me watch IT as a child because of the bathroom scene, and aside from that I think I’ve mentioned I still get uncomfortable hanging my legs off the edge of a bed because something can grab my feets (Thankfully I sleep currently on quite literally a mattress on the floor so that’s not a fear I’m confronted with often)

Haunted House: How much would it cost to get you to stay in a haunted house? So I not only believe in ghosts, but believe I’ve had experiences with them. That being said, ya boi broke as fuck and has been homeless. I know the worth of a dollar. 5$ bucks a night and I’ll stay anywhere, haunted or no.

666: Do you have a lucky number? Not really? Although when it comes to having to pick I’m partial to evens. 

Bloodbath: Baths or showers? Both have their downfalls. Uhhh I’m gunna go with bath, even though I don’t enjoy baths, just because were my legs are fucked up and I can’t stand up very long on my own without my leg braces there’s less chance of me hurting myself if I take a bath lmao. 

Found Footage: Have you ever posted a video on YouTube? God this is embarrassing as fuck but in elementary school I made Sonic AMV’s that were INSANELY popular. 

Scream Queen: Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? Probably not. The people I used to celebrate Halloween with (working on a haunted trail, going to their halloween anniversary party, ect) are no longer in my life as my brother broke up with one of them so :/ Last year I worked on their trail though with a weird Amanda/Leather face type character I came up with. And then for the actual Halloween Party I went as Taako from the DND podcast The Adventure Zone. 

Here’s my butcher costume from the trail though. I should really make an oc based around this. A DUDE TOLD ME I MADE HIS DAUGHTER PEE HERSELF on his second round through the trail and I thought he was gunna kick my ass but he seemed thrilled.

Pumpkin Guts: Do you like pumpkin spice lattes? Pumpkin spice is okay. After a while it makes me sick though. One of my alters a couple years ago ate a whole pumpkin spice roll in one sitting and I was just “Why...why are you like this”

Grave Robber: Have you ever tried to talk to a ghost? Like I said! I believe in Ghosts and believe I’ve lived somewhere haunted. That being said, we used to have a touch lamp, and I would ask it questions. The way the lamp would work is one touch is on, another touch brighter, a third touch off. So I’d use that as a scale to talk to the spirit. I don’t remember if it was two for no or one for yes or vice versa, but I’d ask yes or no questions and the lamp would react.

Claw Marks: If you could own an exotic pet, what would you choose to have? Ahhhh I dunno. I had pet rats for a while there and they’re very good boys. I don’t think I’m a big pet person on my own maybe.

Cryptid Sighting: What cryptid fascinates you the most? I answered this one already!

Cult Gathering: Are you a part of any organizations? Nope! I am a very boring individual.

Friday the 13th: Do you like to go out or stay in on Friday nights? Uhh I feel like I’d probably enjoy going out on Fridays if I had anything to do or money or friends but I’m an under 21 year old broke college boy with no irl friends so usually I stay in and just stream movies with friends?

Devil Horns: Are you an angel or a devil? Well if my forced extremely religious upbringing has taught me anything it’s that I’m the devil!

Bloody Mary: Do you have any urban legends specific to where you’re from? Aside from Moth Man originating here I don’t really know? I used to live near this weird part in the woods called Devils Chair that was supposed to be for summoning demons or some shit but was really just a makeout spot for teens. I’d pass it everyday when I walked home from work. I think I took nudes there once lmao. 

But nah I think WV is one of those places where everyones too worried about their methed up cousin murdering them in their sleep to worry about urban legends.

Spooky Scary Skeletons: What’s your favorite dance craze? I don’t..have one? is that a thing people are supposed to have?

Vampire Bite: Have you ever had braces? AAA leg braces?? lmao. but no not like teeth braces. I was supposed to I think as I have like...a HUGE gap between my front teeth but ?? 

because we all know I’m bad at medical care I don’t think I saw a dentist as a child, and the last time I saw one was three years ago when the pain from my wisdom teeth was so bad i caved and had to get them taken out. 

Butcher Knife: Can you cook? Somewhat ? I mean I can. I’m not totally confident, but I can like cook enough to survive ya know?

Possessed Doll: Are dolls creepy or cute? It honestly depends. SOME DOLLS JUST GIVE OFF BIG HAUNTED DOLL ENERGY other dolls are bapy must protect. It just depends on the doll. 

Witches’ Brew: What would be put into a potion to summon you? why would anyone want to summon me oaidknsa

chunks of obnoxiously covered lipstick moss a fabric swatch of a hawaiin shirt And a koolaid jammers

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

RE: This post (sort of) because I feel like I derailed the OPs post and I literally don’t know them and I feel awkward posting on it more lol 

BTW if y’all are sick of talking to me about this no worries, nobody owes me a reply, I just like talking about the game and I have learned a lot from what other people have to say so here we are.

Fuck this got really long so I’m cutting it but it’s about Elder Maxson. Again. Sort of. And Synths. And I want to preface by saying I’m all about love what characters you want, you do you. I’m not trying to hate on anyone for liking or disliking fictional characters or organizations. But I have a lot of feelings.

So I’ve been thinking about a few things and a few things have been brought to my attention that I haven’t seen brought up before. So the quest for Teagan, with the crops and stuff, I know this is a sticking point and possibly could be disregarded because it’s an optional quest, but if Teagan knew Maxson wouldn’t approve of strong arming settlers for crops, why would he tell *you* to do it? I know you can complete the quest other ways, but looking at his voice lines he’s pretty gung-ho on the strong-arming part. He has zero reason to think you wouldn’t march on up to Maxson and tell him Teagan’s trying to put you up to strong-arming settlers, which would lead me to believe he doesn’t have a problem with Teagan putting you up to strong-arming settlers at all. 

Also I just... I don’t know if I can believe that Maxson feels bad for killing or trying to kill Danse (depending on how you choose to do it). Like I *want* to believe he does, but Jesus, he’s just so cruel about the whole thing, even if you convince him to spare Danse. And afterward, when you get promoted to Paladin if you clapback at him when he says all of Danse’s stuff is yours now he says “To the victor go the spoils. Being a part of the Brotherhood, you should learn to appreciate that sentiment.” and he is sinister about it, it literally says in the dialogue direction ‘sinister smile’ I feel like there is A LOT loaded into that sentence, knowing that real, actual armies IRL historically and even now operate like this, especially armies who are allowed to operate at will without or with very little government oversight, their whole agenda is to win, take shit and expand and be more formidable. Maxson and the BoS won’t outright say it ever in the game, but looking at their actions and their sentiment, it seems, to me, like that is kind of part of their agenda. Which, I mean, you could argue is fine because they’d be keeping order and killing super mutants but they’d be running things their way, uncontested. Eventually they’d weed out all the synths and kill them - so bye Danse, bye Curie, bye Nick, don’t forget Magnolia and Sturges also - of course they would kill Strong so bye Strong too. They probably wouldn’t let me keep my cool robot workbench or my badass enormous sentrybots with skull faces and minigun hands because that kind of technology isn’t fit for civilians so I’d guess I have to say bye to Ragnarok and Lilith and Lucifer and Azrael (please do not judge my precious children by their sinister names) and Jezebel and Ada too. Oh, and Synth Shaun. They would definitely kill Synth Shaun too. 

The thing I learned today which is part of the reason I’m back on this bullshit besides that thread ☝ is after Blind Betrayal Maxson has Danse’s records in the BoS stripped. I just got done in Fallout 3 doing the beginning of the Brotherhood stuff there and I have to go talk to that wizard-looking scribe lady (god I love their stupid outfits in 3, but I digress) and she makes A REALLY BIG DEAL about how their records are so important, every member has a record of the stuff they’ve done and how they’ve died and that’s their legacy. It’s mean, like vindictive. Like, synth or not, he did all of whatever he did. Aside from that, Maxson has literally altered the historical truth - there’s not even record that says “we accidentally a synth, this is what he did and we killed him because synths are bad” Again, like, thinking about real-world historical examples of people intentionally altering pieces of history to erase people or groups of people or what people have done -  the reason behind actions like that have never been good. 

And I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole, the people of the Commonwealth are bigots thing a lot. Yes, they are scared of synths because of the wrath The Institute has brought down on the people. They’re also scared of Raiders and Gunners. They’re scared of anything that stands between them and being safe and fed. Like, listen, they understand the difference between a human dude walking up into their settlement and a Raider, I feel like if someone bothered to take a second to explain to them Not All Synths(tm) work for The Institute and a lot of them are actually really nice and might brew you a stimpack or help you solve a noir mystery or take care of your feral infestation down the road they would be receptive to it. They would be especially receptive of it if the person telling them that was the head of the organization keeping them safe and fed >.> Would they be perfectly accepting? Probably not, but they would probably let them live for two seconds without throwing a fit. They would probably not shoot-to-kill on sight. Even the people in Diamond City who talk shit about Nick aren’t out there trying to murder him. 

Kind of in that same vein, let’s talk about Desdemona and the Minutemen for a second. Because I feel like, and maybe I’m wrong about the intention, my girl got slandered into making it look like she doesn’t support The Minutemen. If you fail your covert op any number of ways, she literally says you can use them to forcibly liberate the Synths. Hell, if you haven’t met Preston yet, she’ll tell you where he is and to go find him because she thinks The Minutemen can help. She’ll only go off on you if you don’t sound the evacuation alarm. If you destroy The Institute with The Minutemen and you sound the alarm, like Preston tells you on no uncertain terms to do, she’ll call you “The destroyer of the Institute. Liberator of the synths.” and say “My only regret is we couldn't have been there when you did it.“ When you talk with her about the people trying to hurt the Synths that made it out of the destruction of The Institute and she says “ They're vigilantes and bigots. They don't recognize anyone's laws. Not even yours.” I don’t think she’s talking about ALL the people, she’s talking about people who are vigilantes and bigots which, if you do the quests to go rescue the Synths, usually bring you to Raider dens, who aren’t your people and you’re working against anyway. The gangs that hunt Synths that she has you clear out after The Institute is destroyed are Raider gangs. John the Farmer in buttfuck egypt out by the glowing sea isn’t slaughtering Synths, he’s busy with his farm and his water purifier that doesn’t work and Gunners attacking him weekly. When it comes down to it, how many people like John the Farmer are going to bite the hand that feeds them and fixes his water purifier and fucks up the Gunners if that hand is The Minutemen and they say Synths are OK (because they are, generally)? 

and RE: danger synths and Acadia and stuff... so I’m trying to unpack the whole, weird Acadia lore that magically allows for DiMA to insert memories that he didn’t have in the first place into synth replacements  (e.g. you kill Tektus, stuff his body in a wall, but DiMA can make a “perfect replica” of him with nothing to go on?) I’m assuming when it was said that synths pose a unique danger that humans don’t, this is what was being referenced - that Synths can be messed around with to replace humans in order to manipulate whatever. Putting Acadia aside for juuuuuuust a second - because of the weird magic lore contradiction - there’s a couple of points about this. We see very few people in the game who have the resources, the technology and the know how to actually mess with a Synth’s brain. Even the people supposedly the best at replacing people with “perfect copies”, The Institute, are still kind of shit at it. Every single infiltrator that we see in the game knows what they are and gets called out by someone who figures out what they are. The “perfect copy” idea is hysteria - possibly even propaganda from The Institute itself. The only contradiction to that is what DiMA did in Acadia and honestly, I have no idea how to explain that. That’s all aside from the fact that, technically, in this universe humans have the ability to do the same thing. We know humans can be face changed. Deacon says he was both a girl and a ghoul (the ghoul incident is legit and backed up by terminal entries in the Railroad) and to be either of those from being human dude Deacon, you would have to get a voice change so that has to be a thing, right? Take a human who knows enough about another human, physically turn that human into the other human, and you have someone replaced, no Synths needed. And even Far Harbor, who will, with certain choices, go destroy Acadia don’t destroy them just because they’re synths, they destroy Acadia because Acadia murdered and replaced Avery. 

Which brings me to the final thought I had because holy crap I just wrote for like two hours and I’m tired and out of steam now. I keep really, really wanting to like the BoS and Maxson because they have the neat stuff and a lot of their people are cool and my friends like them but I just, like, can’t as long as they’re a faction that advocates for the genocide of Synths. That’s the one sticking point I have. I could maybe even tolerate them hanging around the Commonwealth where they maybe shouldn’t be, I could maybe see them through a nefarious lens than I do if I knew they wouldn’t come to Sanctuary and wipe out a third of my population because of how they were made - if they weren’t trying to kill my friends and my synth son. Honestly, I love a lot of fanon stuff about Maxson and the BoS because it changes that but canon, in the game, that’s what they would do. 

[headcrossed]

A/N: no one asked for this, but I can’t stop thinking about it so here goes. Also still taking requests for these guys, if anyone’s interested!

THE RFA PLAYS DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FOR THE FIRST TIME

SEVEN

We all know he’s the one that suggested it. Call it a team building exercise, if you will. Besides, since they’re going to be having more parties now in the future, they gotta make sure they stay strong as an organization. What better way than this?

Since no one else is experienced with this game, Seven also takes it upon himself to DM.

Even though oddly enough, he’s never really played it either... at least, not officially.

He found a rulebook when he was younger at the library, and it inspired him, but he knew he couldn’t take it home where his mom might find it.

So instead he memorized it, and when Saeran was sick he would make up a story and roleplay with him. No stats, character sheets, or anything. Just two lonely kids getting enraptured in pure imagination for a little while. It’s one of the fondest memories he has from his childhood.

I’mma be honest: Seven’s DM-ing style is basically the same as Griffin McElroy’s in TAZ.

He keeps things pretty well-balanced. Plenty of humor and shenanigans, but the more serious and emotional moments are really moving, and everyone’s surprised by this.

Zen and Yoosung and even Jaehee and V probably shed some tears over the way the story unfolds. 

He also does really good voice acting for his characters. Nowhere near on Zen’s level, like you could still kinda tell it’s him doing the voices if you couldn’t see his face, but he gets into character really easy (even Zen thinks he should audition to voice act for a game or something... ;) )

Yoosung

Aside from the obvious previous experience he might have, he probably played some one-shot campaigns with some D&D clubs on campus before. 

The first character he makes is probably a literal recreation of his LOLOL character, since it’s familiar to him, and is a good place to start with since he’s not very experienced. Besides, he’s built like a tank in LOLOL, and if he knows anything about these kinds of games, it’s that balance is key, and they need at least someone who can soak up all the damage of whatever Seven throws at them (is he afraid that he’ll make them face bosses way to big for any of them to handle and they’ll all die in the process? GOD YES)

And it turns out that concern was legit. He dies like 5 minutes in.

Scrapping that strategy, he probably will end up making a half-orc , and he ends up really enjoying this character a lot more.

Plays him... surprisingly chivalrous, probably ends up saving a princess at some point in the game.

Seven lets him romance her and... wait... HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW!!!

The game doesn’t count, my sweet summer child

It’s a little awkward that she’s voiced by Seven,and even though he teases Yoosung about it (both in-game and out), quite often it’s really sweet, actually.

He really, REALLY wishes he could commission someone to do fan art of them, but he has no money T_T

Might ask V if he gets desperate enough... might

Believe it or not, Yoosung will actually ditch playing LOLOL for this.

He likes being able to see all his best friends gathered in one place, laughing and just having a good time. It warms his poor college student heart. 

ZEN

He’s not really sure how he was convinced to do this, but somehow he’s very into it 

He’s not very good at the numbers part of the game (and he usually has to ask Yoosung or Jaehee to help him with it), but he really shines in the roleplay department (I mean he’s an actor! If nothing else it’s a really good opportunity to work on his improv skills) 

Plays an high-elf bard, with a VERY high charisma stat. 

“Not very original, huh Zen? Trying to make life imitate art?” “Shut up, mistah trust-fund kid!”

AND HE PLAYS THEM EXACTLY HOW YOU WOULD EXPECT.

Flirts with EVERY ENEMY. To the point that Seven has to make his character have near-death experiences MANY TIMES to get him to stop. 

Still, somehow, by the end of the game he has amassed a harem of enemies who worship him for his god-like beauty. 

VOICE ACTS FOR HIS CHARACTER AND SINGS ACTUAL BARD SONGS HE’S MEMORIZED BEFORE-HAND (rest in peace, Jaehee)

Oh but he doesn’t stop there.

He COSPLAYS HIS CHARACTER, AND HIS WHOLE FANBASE GOES INSANE 

His bard now has a whole fandom and following irl too. He even made a separate social media account where he shares all the amazing fan art that people have drawn for his character. He even thinks that maybe they should start broadcasting their sessions or do a podcast. 

JAEHEE

Jaehee is an absolute beast at this game.

She’s read over the rulebook at least 20 times and knows it inside and out. 

Probably gets into arguments with Seven and maybe accidentally metagames once or twice. 

She should be dm-ing not seven what the hell are they all thinking? She knows the stats better, anyways 

She plays a rowdy dwarven paladin, and no one expected it.

Her logic is: it’s a fantasy-world. She can be whatever she wants, and she wants to smash things, be as rowdy as she likes, and be blunt and tell things like it is. 

Also she’s semi-intentionally trying to recreate a gimli and legolas style relationship with Zen’s character, go figure ;) it’s actually really sweet at the end of the day though they make a great fucking team.

Has her own special routine for dice-rolls that she believes will increase her odds of getting a better roll.

They all laugh at her for varying degrees for it but FOR SOME REASON IT WORKS AND SHE HAS CRAZY NAT 20 STREAKS SOMETIMES.

She ends up stealing a lot of Jumin’s kills, but she’s just roleplaying, after all. (Seven gives her bonus xp for good roleplaying too like yeah good for her for using this as an outlet) 

Frequents D&D forums a lot now. Thinking up new strategies and probably makes like a million new characters based on them that she may never play (but she hopes to, someday)

JUMIN

He’s heard of it before, and that’s no surprise with his extensive interest in small specialty businesses and the fact that the RFA has at least two members who have played it before. 

But alas, he has never played it himself.

He agrees because the level of spectacle that he’s seen around playing this game is astounding, and he’s intrigued. Thinks maybe he’ll get a new business idea out of it.

“So Jumin, what race are you going to play as?” Seven asks, innocently, as though he doesn’t know the answer.

“... you’ll see.” 

Everyone gets suspicious, but he keeps his poker-face as cool as ever. 

When they go around the table introducing their characters, he puts on his most serious face, puts his hands up in front of his face like paws, and introduces himself as his character: Elizabeth the 4th, Tabaxi Ranger

Zen has to leave the room to get over a sneezing fit, Jaehee’s glasses shatter, Seven straight up dies laughing on the floor. None of it matters to Jumin. He’s living the fucking dream.

All that being said, Jumin is definitely tries to take a more methodical approach to the game. He carefully plans out his strategies for the best strategical outcome. 

Although 

He actually ends up really enjoying it, at the end of the day.

You know he’s looking into premium gear for future sessions. Buys all the rulebooks and lorebooks, buys a bunch of really cool-looking handmade dice (that he personally tests himself for balance, to make sure they all roll true). He probably even commissions someone to make custom mini figurines for their characters. 

V

Like Zen, he’s also not quite sure how he got roped into doing this.

He’s never played, or ever really even HEARD of this game before, let alone understand how it works, but given an opportunity to hang out with the rest of the RFA and relax, he takes it. It sounds like fun to him anyway. 

He has to spend a lot of time making his character (this poor boy, he sees everyone else with their faces stuffed in the character stat books and he doesn’t wanna ask if he can borrow it ‘cause they need it to make their characters too and doesn’t want to interrupt them) 

When he finally DOES make a character, however. He goes with a Tiefling Druid. Not only do they look aesthetically pleasing and unique, but also he empathizes with how they’re treated by society as a whole. It’s kinda the perfect fit. 

He’s super clueless when they first start playing. 

Seven says “Roll for initiative” and he sits there like “wait... what do I do? ^^; ”

Jaehee, Jumin and Seven usually help him out and explain things as they go along.

As the game progresses he picks things up bit by bit. Turns out, he’s actually really good at roleplaying.

In the beginning, he plays his character as this cold and distant,  not really caring about anyone in the team, but over time that dissolves into unerring loyalty to the rest of the party. Probably created an elaborate backstory involving a long lost love, too.

Everyone gets super attached to V’s character.

But of course, OF COURSE

When they face the final boss of the arc, someone has to sacrifice themselves to defeat it.

V immediately volunteers, and is dealt a killing blow before any of the rest of them can so much as talk it through. 

As he dies, he says “My people only know hatred because they have been so hated. But... I’ve never felt that. Not with all of you. Thank you, for showing me that there’s hope for all of us!” and his character dies, with a smile on his face.

DAMNIT V NO

EVERYONE’S FUCKING CRYING NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID

All-in-all though, he had a really great time. 10/10 would play again. Maybe even starts constructing a story-based campaign in his head and wants to try DM-ing next time!

He’s always snapping super aesthetic photos of the sessions, and probably does a painting of all their characters together to commemorate their first campaign. 

SAERAN

Saeyoung invited him to play, but he says no. 

It’s childish and he has other things he wants to do.

Saeyoung doesn’t pressure him, and honestly he thought that would be the last he’d hear of it. 

However, Seven’s house is usually where they end up meeting to play (since no one else really has the room for it, and playing at Jumin’s house is ruled outright due to level of c-hair)

He’s a little annoyed, and thus stays in his room for most of the night, figuring he can wait the session out in his room.

But alas, the one thing he didn’t factor in was wanting some ice cream at 1 am.  

After a deep internal debate, he ultimately decides to leave his room to satisfy the craving, and unlocks his door. 

He wanders into the kitchen, surprisingly unnoticed, silently grabbing a spoon from the drawer and taking the carton of ice-cream out of the freezer, when he overhears something... familiar.

“BOOM! BOOM! Drums sound in the deep. A mighty roar soon follows, as the chamber rumbles with the sound, pieces of the construction tumbling to the floor of the ancient hall in its wake...” 

Seven roars, for effect. 

“Oh shit...” Zen says.

“Louder and louder, the sound draws nearer, until the sound stops at the foot of the barricaded door. Large shadows overcome what little faint light shone from beneath the door...”

*pushes up his glasses* “Roll for initiative”

“WHAT?!”, screams Yoosung, “WE JUST FOUGHT A CAVE TROLL! WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD THE TIME TO RECOVER!”

“Shame...” Seven says, “If only there was one more party member... then you might have a chance...” 

Seven then looks over to the doorway, locking eyes with Saeran briefly.

Memories prickle at the back of his head. Memories of those same eyes lighting up as he told the same stories to him. He remembers getting lost in those stories, feeling happy deep down as he figured out what he would do next. He even remembers... smiling? 

He runs back into his room, and slams the door. 

And that’s the last the RFA sees of him...

Or so they think.

Half an hour later, he comes out of his room, pulls out one of the kitchen chairs, sits down and slams a hastily-printed character sheet. 

“Looks like you’re running into some trouble with that Balrog... tch. Amateurs.”

He made a Kenku Monk, chaotic neutral alignment.

And he completely destroys the boss that Seven had planned for them. 

DID SOMEONE SAY EDGELORD?

Probably splits from the party a bunch, but Saeyoung planned for that, so there’s usually a bunch of story-heavy side-quests waiting for him anyway, and they all eventually lead him back to the party somehow.

But truth be told, he’s not that mad about it.

Every opportunity he gets to describe exactly the kind of moves he’s exacting on the enemies they face, he takes. He explains it in creative, gory detail, and it shocks some of the other party members, but Seven seems cool with it.

That’s right kiddo, harness all that repressed rage. Let it out. 

He’s helping clean the kitchen after everyone’s gone when Seven asks,

“So? You going to play with us next session too?”

He pauses washing the snack dishes for a beat, and the corners of his lips start to twitch, just a little.

“Y-yeah, I-... I actually had a lot of fun.”

His brother pats him on the back, his hand still on his shoulder when he says “I’m glad! That’s what I was hoping to hear.”

“... Wait... you planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?”

The sly smirk on Seven’s face says it all. Bih you know he did

“... you little shit.”

[the-most-beautiful-broom]

100 questions

it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @dylanobrienisbatman @blueshirtbell @granger--danger @nightbleeder

1. What is your nickname? lol I have so many. Linds is the most common on here though.

2. How old are you? 23

3. What is your birth month? october

4. What is your zodiac sign? libra, but it’s only like 60% accurate imo (I’m not fragile, or a flirt? ya girl can be charismatic, but I don’t think that’s the same?)

5. What is your favorite color? green

6. What’s your lucky number? when I was in high school/sports, I picked 13 for my number because everyone was like oooo it’s unlucky and I was like cool, guess I’ll win while wearing an unlucky number then (and that’s today’s slytherin mood)

7. Do you have any pets? not in the city with me :(

8. Where are you from? california

9. How tall are you? 5’ 9"

10. What shoe size are you? 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? more than I should, probs

12. Are you random? oh goodness no. I believe in patterns and I’m pretty dang predictable.

13. Last person you texted? my sister

14. Are you psychic in any way? lol no

15. Last TV show watched? queer eye again

16. Favorite movie? IMPOSSIBLE <--stealing Kath’s answer on this one

17. Favorite show from your childhood? sooooo we didn’t have a tv haha my mom really really wanted her daughters to be well read

18. Do you want children? I want to foster!

19. Do you want a church wedding? I’m not sure? i’d want everyone to be comfortable and they might not be in a church…I do know that I want a brunch wedding though, bc dancing isn’t my thing and breakfast food is

20. What is your religion? I’m Christian! Seventh-day Adventist is the specific denomination, but nobody ever really knows what to do with that haha

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? not for me/like I’m sick, but for other people, yeah, too much

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Lol not at all. I’ve gotten pulled over four times, but never ticketed though.

23. How is life? better than I deserve

24. Baths or showers? showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? i’m wearing heels for work, so no socks

26. Have you ever been famous? goodness no, whatever for?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I think I would, to get to have that platform to make a change and give other people a voice would be awesome

28. What type of music do you like? something with words that mean something, or a melody that surprises you. I’m so weak for key changes though…I’ve always said that my perfect music is driving music: I can belt it alone on a highway at 3am, or laugh over it with friends in the afternoon.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my right side, with my hands under my pillow

32. How big is your house? it’s a nyc apartment, fam, it’s the size of a broom closet. it’s cozy though, and I love it

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I’m so bad at eating breakfast…if I do get something, it’s at the bagel place across the street from my office

34. Have you ever left the country? ages ago

35. Have you ever tried archery? on retreats/for school; I wanted to be like robin hood

36. Do you like anyone? I might have a bit of a crush at the moment and it is stressing me out

37. Favorite swear word? so I literally never swear irl, and the first time I swore online was when I was writing my stranger things fic—it’s literally impossible to write dustin and steve and have them not cuss?? ummm I don’t know, they all have their purposes, but I think fuck is just next level emphatic. it’s crazy that it’s just a word, but it conveys so much when you use it

38. When do you fall asleep? if/when I establish a normal sleeping schedule, I’ll let you know

39. Do you have any scars? in the middle of one of my eyebrows, from when I cracked my head open as a kid, which is why I always fill my eyebrows in. also acne scars, which I’m working on not caring about.

40. Sexual orientation? straight

41. Are you a good liar? yes

42. What languages would you like to learn? Literally all of them, so many. I’d love to learn Tagalog so I could have that connection with my mom’s side of the family, and then Spanish is just so beautiful and I really should’ve kept up with it after high school. French and German and Italian would be nice too, and then maybe an ancient language or three?  

43. Top 10 songs? REFUSING TO ANSWER THIS <--again, stealing kath’s answer. y’all know how much music I listen to and cry over, so you know I can’t do this

44. Do you like your country? yes but not my leadership. I love the people of this country and I hate that the voices of the few are the ones that are loudest and that are yelling and that are deciding. the people of my country aren’t being represented or heard or protected and it breaks my heart.

45. Do you have friends from the web? I do! from this blog and I ran a fashion blog for a while, so from insta too

46. What is your personality type? MBTI: estj, enneagram: 2w3.

47. Hogwarts House? slytherin (as if anyone couldn’t tell)

48. Can you curl your tongue? no

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? emma woodhouse (I wish I could say lizzie bennet, but it’s got to be emma)

50. Left or right handed? right

51. Are you scared of spiders? not really? my sister is, so I always had to kill them

52. Favorite food? bread

53. Favorite foreign food? mexican (one of the perks of growing up near the border)

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m an orderly person…but sometimes that manifests itself in organized chaos BUT I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS OKAY

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? call out my coworkers and not be written off as emotional/sensitive

56. What color underwear? black

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? most days like 20 minutes? from horizontal in bed to out the door...but if i have to do my hair, tap another 3 hours on that, because it has to air dry

58. Do you have much of an ego? so this is complicated because i have high confidence in my capabilities and performance, but struggle with my worth and importance independent of those

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I don’t really care for lollipops, they just make me want to brush my teeth

60. Do you talk to yourself? yep

61. Do you sing to yourself? also yep

62. Are you a good singer? oh it’s so relative, fam. I can harmonize pretty well, so I’m a good backup singer

63. Biggest Fears? insignificance

64. Are you a gossip? not really. I hate complaining, and I really hate when other people complain; i’m just like okay so what did you do about it? 

65. Are you a grammar nazi? if someone knows better, in a context when they should know better, then yes. so like, in a paper, for a presentation, yeah. people ask for help bc I’m good at what I do. but also it’s such a construct that we judge people off of, so I work on not doing that outside of a professional/scholarly context? also I’m a big believer in knowing the rules and breaking them to make a point (see: all my lower case answers, run on sentences, etc.)  

66. Do you have long or short hair? I pixie-d my hair back in august and regret it constantly lol. it had to be done though

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i mean, probably? I’ve been to most of them

68. Favorite school subject? always english

69. Extrovert or Introvert? literally the most extroverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing

72. Are you scared of the dark? no

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? if we’re alone and I can help them, sure. I despise when people publicly reprimand someone for an unintentional error; it’s just so inconsiderate  

74. Are you ticklish? I find people’s obsession with tickling so weird lol

75. Have you ever started a rumor? no

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? …did we not already do this one?

77. Have you ever drank underage? lol fam I don’t drink at all

78. Have you ever done drugs? no

79. What do you fantasize about? paying off all my student debt, having an apartment in all my favorite cities, being able to travel. being an English professor. sometimes growing old with someone; most of the times being a mentor to younger women/getting to be someone i didn’t have

80. How many piercings do you have? none

81. Can you roll your R’s? yeah

82. How fast can you type? not very, which is funny because I work in IT, but I don’t type with my pinkies so that’s a mess

83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run

84. What color is your hair? brown

85. What color are your eyes? hazel (green + brown)

86. What are you allergic to? mold and one very specific type of grass

87. Do you keep a journal? no

88. Are you depressed about anything? I disagree with how this question is worded but okay. ummm the fact that all my money goes to student loans and rent? misogyny in the workplace? hypocrisy in my government? the lack of love and empathy expressed by people who profess to be believers in love and empathy? that’s a good start 

89. Do you like your age? it’s where I’m at, either way

90. What makes you angry? willful ignorance

91. Do you like your own name? I do

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? no

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? not to be a cliché, but all children are gifts? Like I don’t want to physically bear children, but if they’re there, they deserve love (hence the foster thing-- there are SO many kids in a broken system that need security and someone to care for them, and nobody helps them and that just shouldn’t be)

94. What talents do you have? public speaking and writing. I have a passion for making people feel welcomed and known and loved, so I hope that too

95. Sun or moon? sunshine; I’ll always be a SoCal girl at heart

96. How did you get your name? my parent’s loved the meaning

97. Are you religious? I am, yeah. it’s been a journey—other people believing blindy makes me so mad, as well as people who never question their faith or grow in it, or act in a way that shows they don’t actually believe what they say they do—but yeah, my faith is hugely important to me.  

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, although the farther away I get from some things, the more I think I ought to

99. Color of your bedspread? white with gray tassels

100. Color of your room? white walls and an exposed brick wall

[mayalaen]

some exciting things and some crappy things :)

I’ve been away from Tumblr like... what a week now? Life has been busy and intense, but not horrible, so yay!! (reference list for everybody I talk about)

Shop Expansion: The construction is under way for the expansion at the shop, and while that’s really awesome, it’s also made my asthma flare up, and I got a bit of a cold too. I’m better now. The tattoo side is going to be done in a couple weeks, and the guys are excited about moving into their new spaces.

I’m also signing up for a few more distributorships. Those are always both scary and exciting. Big companies take me more seriously the longer I’ve been in business and the more distributorships I have, so these few companies I’m doing lately never considered me before, but now they’re ready :D

Sponsoring Evan: I talked it over with the family and we decided to sponsor Evan. We’ve wanted to sponsor an artist for years now, but either the guys weren’t good or they didn’t want to put in the extra work. When I told Evan about it, he started crying he was so happy. It works out for both of us and it’s a huge privilege for him. I pay for ALL his supplies, but the money coming in every month from him doesn’t have a cap -- which is awesome because he gives me about three times what everybody else does. It’s worth it for both of us because supplies aren’t expensive for me and giving me a cut of his pay without a cap isn’t a burden on him. I’m also going to be sending him to conventions.

But these guys are so emotional! It’s only been two days and he still tears up every time he talks to me about anything. He came in to ask for more Madacide (cleaning solution) and his eyes got all pink and watery when I gave it to him for free :D

Evan and I are also registering a brand name, and we’re going to make and sell supplies under that brand name. We’re already planning on several products, we just have to wait for the brand name approval from the state.

FYI, when you sponsor an artist, you pay for all their supplies, send them to conventions (which you pay for) to promote your shop and their art, they help promote IRL and on social media and pretty much represent your shop. It’s still clear they’re not the owner, but it’s definitely a big thing for me and for Evan. We’re both really excited. And it also cheered him up after all the shit went down with Allison.

Asshole Cousin and Husband: They STILL haven’t taken the kids back. You’re not surprised, I’m sure, but they’ve also started getting pushy with stuff. And it’s pissing my mom off. They started asking her to download a video app so they could chat with their kids. My mom was like nope, take your kids. They just kept asking and as of today AC’s husband sent this to my mom: Will you download the damn Google Duo app for video calls already. I need to see my kids.

Needless to say, my mom is fuming. Not only are we paying over $100 a week for someone to babysit the kids for two days a week, but we’re all super tired taking care of them AND running five different businesses, spending tons of money on clothes and food for the kids, and super stressed because KIDS and difficulties with Andre in school being an ass, but then to just demand like that? Take your damn kids back and you’ll be able to see them anytime you want! What makes them think we have the time to do that?! Or that we even want to when we’re so fucking tired?! Andre is on spring break, so we’ve got both of them full time while my cousin and her husband STILL haven’t found a job and haven’t taken the kids. Ugh.

Mom’s Seizures: My mom has had three seizures in the last four days. I’m not sure what’s making them flare up -- she had gone 1-1/2 months without having any, so we’re kinda concerned and puzzled.

Shop App: I’m developing an app where people can buy stuff from the shop with an app on their phone. It’ll be on Apple, Android, Windows, Amazon, and... something else i can’t remember right now. It’s a lot of work, but already people are getting excited over it, so once it goes live, I think I’m going to need a lot more supplies, so I’m trying to order a ton. I spent $10,000 a few weeks ago for ink from the main company we sell ink for and this past week I had to input, organize, and label 1500 bottles of ink. Yikes.

Ash: I told him just a few days ago I want him to start working full time again and he can take walk-ins. He’s recovered enough from his surgeries that he’s got his mojo back and is producing awesome tattoos again. He still needs to work on some stuff, but I’m really happy that it’s coming back. We were all worried the accident had taken away his ability to tattoo really well. He started crying at me when I told him. Did I mention these guys are emotional?

Me: I’m actually doing really well, and the only reason I’ve been away from Tumblr the last week is because there’s so much going on with the shop and family. By the time I get home I’m super tired, but I still have to take care of the parental units and work on the app and do orders for the shop. I‘m pretty much working whenever I’m awake. Ugh.

It’s been 1 year since my mom and I changed our diets because of her cancer, and we’re both losing a lot of weight and feeling really good physically. I don’t even want to say how much I’ve lost because it’s quite telling of how big I was when I started, but damn it’s a lot.

Only problem that isn’t really a problem is we can’t eat out anymore. Everything makes us sick except Chinese food, which we’re assuming is only because it’s rice-based instead of corn or flour-based and has a lot of sugar/MSG, so it’s easier on our stomachs. My dad REALLY likes eating out, but my mom and I never really did, so it’s kind of hard for all of us because he’s doing the butthurt thing over it and constantly trying to get us to go out. After the last time we went out and the two of us were sick for five days, me puking two of those days and only able to eat crackers, it kinda made him realize it’s more than just a “don’t wanna” thing, but he’s still pushing it.

But yeah I’m doing pretty well mentally and physically, just super busy! Missing everybody here and missing online fun stuff and fandom stuff. Poor me!! :D

I hope everybody’s doing well, and hopefully this weekend I can catch up some and see what y’all have been up to while I’ve been gone!