#people need to make mistakes to grow
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I love when @107bees said "...cancel culture is dumb, people need to make mistakes to grow"
That's the WHOLE thing with being HUMAN
Humans are imperfect, fickle, multifaceted creatures, who are always going to make mistakes and hopefully - if they are given half a chance - they will learn to grow from their mistakes and make better decisions, and then probably make some more mistakes, and then grow some more, etc etc.. but We have to Give People A Chance to make a mistake, see the outcome, learn from it, and grow.
I'm so SICK so being afraid that something I do or say in my early 20s while I'm still honestly dumb af is going to come back and hurt 30-40 something year old me who is trying to do something in the public eye, like publish my first book or something.. and someone pulls up some idiotic thing I did or said once thinking that that culminates who I am as a person years after the fact
I hope cancel culture dies out before I ever manage to do anything worthwhile :( and just forgoodnesssakes forgive people
#cancel culture#stop cancel culture#humans are not perfect#people need to make mistakes to grow#i am not who i used to be#be kind#be patient#forgiveothers#i have adhd#i say stupid things sometimes
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you guys need to leave carter the fuck alone. mind blowing how some of you are so open about wanting him dead or wishing horrible things upon him when i know the same of you will bend over backwards to shield your dumbass male li from any criticism. leave the 16 year old addict alone !
kinda interesting also how some of you talk about him the same way you talk about dia from sotcn ... another addict .... just think it's interesting. sure hope it doesn't reveal any biases about irl addicts
#romance club#rc#so fucking tired of this. i need people to stop talking shit about 7b its my story and none of u get it like i do#rc 7 brothers#carter monroe#the fact a lot of you do that to mc siblings who aren't perfect is crazy ... kids are allowed to make mistakes and fuck up#yes even if they're “annoying” to you. grow up#lizzie.txt#rc dia#song of the crimson nile
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#I think people treat others on here who share any sort of news like they’re actual professional journalists and we’re not#I genuinely don’t think a single person on here is#We’ve just taken it upon ourselves to share the news bc the actual journalists are the ones who mince words and have ulterior motives etc#But usually if someone on here makes a mistake it’s an honest one & they will rectify it if you notify them#You do not have to attack them or say they’re misleading on purpose like I think most ppl on here#Don’t have that sort of agenda. At least the ones who’re fighting for legitimate causes like Palestinian and Sudanese genocide etc etc#I just hope no one on here gets attacked in light of the Samara situation#I just think we should be more open to making mistakes instead of jumping to bad faith interpretations#News have to be accurate but mistakes r also ok and usually a simple communication resolves it#Tumblr is the bad faith interpretation website so I’m not surprised but I also think we need to be more graceful#Bc how else can anyone improve / learn more etc etc#Whenever someone on here shares an opposing opinion it’s not that I dislike that or want to intentionally suppress it#It’s usually just framed in a very inflammatory way that doesn’t even give me the opportunity to give my side and might motivate other ppl#To think I’m basically like a normal journalist who intentionally misleads 💀💀 I am An Iraqi Girl Who Is Trying To Help#At least this has taught me how to gracefully own up to mistakes and take accountability etc that’s pretty cool#Bc even w all that said I think it’s important to hold urself accountable if u do make a mistake regardless of intention.#We just shouldn’t demonize making mistakes bc how can someone grow Ok I’m done
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it is absolutely wild the way i’ve allowed people to treat me
#every year i write an end of year recap i’ve been doing it since 2019#this year So much happened but one of the big things was breaking up with my ex#and it genuinely blows my mind how badly i was treated and the fact i stayed as long as i did#year and a half of clownery when i knew after 4 months i’d been sold a lie 😭#i feel so bad for past me because girlie you didnt deserve that!! nobody does!!!#it’s helped me sm in my current relationship because i know what it’s like to be the collateral for someone’s self hatred#it’s motivated me to heal and develop self esteem so i dont do that to my wonderful partner#they have really shown me what love is and let me tell you! it’s nothing i experienced with my ex!#mind blowing mind boggling i am never letting Anyone treat me that appallingly ever again#literally crazy i wish her a lot of healing and growth cos goddamn how are you terrified of being a bad person yet treat people like you#treated me. no wayyyy no way#i so believe in that thing of what people are most scared of they’re most likely to do#goddamn! 2023 man. wild time#valentina talks#i definitely made many a mistake which is why im not really like. Angry at her because i understand and i’ve had to change a lot and grow a#lot too. i think everyone just is perpetually making mistakes and growing and that’s okay. but it doesn’t mean the people you hurt need to#forgive you or think your actions were okay#just yeesh. i’m glad it’s over and i moved on
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#really really hate how thoughtless and oblivious i can be to my own bad behavior#ill know something is important or that a shouldn't do a particular thing#but over time and assumptions and small acts of carelessnes shit just....fades and accumulates and one day#i look up and ive done something very stupid and hurt someone else#and i didn't feel it happening#my mind will take things and hide them from me is what it feels like. ill know they're there but it fades into the background noise#i am hard on the things in my life including people and relationships. and i am always so vulnerable to my own fuckin lmfao inattentivenes#this is why i struggle so much with the idea of ever having an intimate partner or children. it doesn't matter how much i care.#eventually and inevitably i do damage.#and i know consciously that people make mistakes and all you can do is try to course correct and make it right. but it's better#not to hurt anyone in the first place and i really don't know if i will ever be capable of that.#trying to convince myself this kind of shit is growing pains but man. man. i can't stop being what i am and it really#really feels sometimes like i am just destined to break and neglect#but then that ''im broken'' thing feels like trying to dodge around taking responsibility and improving. and i should be better than that.#but god how tf are you supposed to stop dissociating from the reality of what you're doing when you're. dissociated.#all i can ever think to do is isolate#*sigh* guys i think i might need to graduate to therapy with a trauma specialist#or adjust my medication. god. im so tired.#why is it so gd hard to be a normal decent person. it doesn't seem hard but then
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Leftists sure do a shit job at encouraging people to change for the better and let go of old biases; it's almost like guilting and shaming people is an ineffective tool that doesn't accomplish anything worthwhile in the long run.
#i hate other leftists and i am a leftist#especially online leftism#if you want people to let go of bigotry and prejudice you need to give them the space to grow and ask questions#leftists are dog shit at letting people make mistakes and be incorrect#nah you morons just dogpile well meaning but ignorant people and chase them off#you guys are dog shit at reaching the common person who could potentially benefit from leftist politics the most#waiting for someone o misinterpret this post because I'm sure it'll happen
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It's been 4 days since it ended now but i'm still emotional about saturday night takeaway ending and I just can't get over it yet... and one thing that I can't stop thinking about is how every time they started the show they always welcomed us by saying welcome to YOUR saturday night takeaway even tho their names are literally in the show's title. And honestly the show really was a massive comfort for me at times. There were countless times I'd had a shitty day/week and just watching it on a saturday night lifted my mood so much and made me forget about my problems for 90 minutes. It was just something always guaranteed to put a smile on my face and make me laugh no matter how bad things were. So I'm just a bit heart broken that I may never get that feeling again when i need it 😔💔
#also i remeber reading a comment about it on social media one day#and it said the show is literally just two best friends having fun and sharing it with us#and honestly i think that's the perfect way to describe the show#and i loved when the boys said it's the kind of show they enjoyed watching growing up#cause they are literally just doing their best to entertain and make us all happy#which is why i can feel a little selfish for wanting them to continue the show when they clearly need the break#and then that also reminds of the time ant went through his personal problems#a lot of people weren't very sympathetic towards him and yes he made a big mistake#but i was always supportive because i believe in 2nd chances#and especially when it involves mental health which is something i've always struggled with most of my life#so i saw it as a way to return the favour for the all the times ant (and dec of course) have made the world a little brighter for me#anyway i'm going on a lot here#but i need to say all this to express just how much i love them and to process the fact that a show#that has given me so much joy could be over forever#ant and dec#saturday night takeaway
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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Thinking about Azula again...
#i need more people to understand her character and not just dismiss her as an evil person#a pawn or an emotionless husk#i need more people to understand that Ursa isnt a good parent#she married a monster and only realized her mistake after it was too late#once she had Zuko she finally had someone to pour her love into and to make her feel less isolated#so she coddled him and would spend all of her time with him#Ozai is a smart man im sure he noticed and figured out exactly why she was always preoccupied with Zuko which made him have a certain#disdain for his son which only grew as he got older and didnt meet his father's impossible standards#and then came Azula#her mother already had her perfect child so she didnt get as much attention from her#especially when she started showing certain characteristics that were reminiscent of her father#ursa was unnerved by Azula and her difficulty understanding certain things such as empathy#she was certain this child would grow up to be a monster like her father#so she never bothered trying to teach her to be better than him#which left her all to her father#who could groom her into the fire bending prodigy and brutal warrior that we knew in the show#he controlled her and manipulated her into being exactly what he wanted#a puppet and a weapon to be used as he saw fit#and when the curtains lifted ever so slightly from her eyes showing her the reality of her situation she broke#rambles#avatar the last airbender#princess azula
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#alison speaks?#to be deleted probably#not to like be weird about things people are already pretty weird about#but like beyond the absolute turn of ‘aCTUALLY this dude we liked for the past six years was a VILLIAN in her story’#it’s the fact that some people have an audacity to look at the relationship they were in for six years#and go ‘yknow what? it was all just so she could get here. it was all about the healing’ and granted yeah#good people can help you be better. a safe person and a safe place can allow yourself the time and safety it takes to grow and heal#but honest to goodness they did NOT commit to their six year long relationships and endure all their hardships#he did NOT support her during some of the worst moments in her career#just for y’all to reduce him to some stepping stone in her story#to view him as if the whole universe revolves around her like#like imo he deserved way fucking better#and honestly unless the relationship ended in a way that i really really really could not believe it did#it’s pretty fucking shitty that he had to put up with all the shit he got from the internet after the split went public#it’s pretty fucking shitty that y’all act like she can’t really do wrong in a relationship#that y’all STILL are unable to see it as anything other than sure humans make mistakes but men are absolutely terrible#like the need to analyze the fuck out of a song yall call deep and sad and so telling#that really just sounds like ‘why couldn’t you read my mind?’ makes me want to YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#anyways that’s enough and maybe the last thing i’ll say#bc honestly if the current relationship ends up not lasting (not that i wish that on them#don’t get me wrong) but like if it doesn’t? just wait for everyone to come up with all the reasons why#this guy who brought her back and made her so happy and blah blah blah was ACTUALLY? a shitty guy the whole time#okay yeah that’s all that’s it#i think the reason this makes me so angry is bc y’all would not tolerate this if the situations/reactions were reversed#and honestly the amount of disrespect for a relationship that did not go burning down in flames between two people together for six years#that shared a life and a home … to get this disrespect i just….#i wish healing and happiness and growth for both of them#but damn
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some of y’all should. go outside. touch some grass maybe.
#one of the joys of being a human is being able to go be stupid in our youth#we say and do stupid shit as kids or teenagers because we don’t know any better#and what’s a better way of finding out that our words or actions were wrong than experiencing backlash for it firsthand??#how are we supposed to learn from our mistakes if we never make them??#that’s what our childhoods are for. being stupid#and then we grow up and we take all that stupidness we had as children and learn from it#but some extremely chronically online people don’t believe in making mistakes?? like ever??#not even as a child#which is baffling to me#because we’re all stupid as kids. all of us. especially the people who pretend they’re better than everyone else#so if someone made an honest mistake in their past#literally what right do you have to criticize them for it#if they’ve changed and grown as a person there’s no need to hold their past against them#and i’m talking about actual mistakes not shit like bullying people or saying slurs repeatedly bc you think it’s funny#i’m talking about shit like saying offensive jokes because you were taught the humour of them but not the harm#and saying ignorant shit because you literally didn’t know any better#anyways people who try to cancel people for harmless shit they did 10+ years ago go outside#delete your twitter account while you’re at it#you’re currently choosing to be judgemental and overly critical of people’s pasts in an attempt to ruin their lives#and i think that says more about you than it does about them
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Only now as a 30-year-old am I truly understanding how damaging my mother's constant minimization was. Any negative emotion or reaction I showed was just me being "dramatic."
Once I fell off the top bunk bed and injured myself and was bleeding profusely, and the first thing she said when she saw me in the doorway, bleeding all over the floor, was "look at her standing there, saying nothing, waiting for me to notice her. So dramatic."
#it's no wonder i have major issues asking for help#there never *was* any help growing up#any time i was overwhelmed or hurt or scared or bleeding or crying i got made fun of#anyway this realization spaghettied off that fear of being late post i made yesterday#I've been thinking about it and i think i just have a deep fear of people being cruel when i need understanding and compassion#I'm afraid of being late or making mistakes at work because in my experience people are cruel#in my head I'm convinced that if i fuck up even in some small way i will be abandoned#if i am not perfect i will be ridiculed#and you know what?#i am sad#i think i need some time to grieve for the little girl who had to grow up that way#but I'm 30 now and i have power and i don't want to let her feel that way anymore#nobody showed me kindness growing up but i can show it to myself now#personal
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YOU CAN'T WASH AWAY THE MISTAKES YOU'VE MADE.
— Memorist, "Second Sequence"
#touchstarved type beat#i love singing this part#gothic fiction: the past haunting the present.#oh how our monsters are so haunted#being an adult is just being oh so flawed#youre no longer a child. you have no excuse. but you dont feel like you know any better. so many times you still feel like a child#making the same mistakes#nonetheless even if you grow from them sometimes the mistakes youve made in the past drags behind you#weighing you down#you cant wash them away#whats done will always be done#and sometimes that will always have consequences#that will haunt you until the end#the people youve hurt. the people youve left behind. the grief. the things that could have been but didnt because you werent the person you#needed to be#its true that everybody makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. true that these things are a natural part of life#but sometimes they weigh anyway#and yeah the weight is just part of life too#but just because its natural doesnt erase the fact that sometimes you really just feel that weight#especially at your weak moments#and so i close this mass of tags once again with a phrase i now associate with touchstarved: “and you just have to live with that.”
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You know in the end I think Ted did what we wanted despite what other people wanted. Not that he wanted to leave AFC Richmond. But he wanted to be there for his son and watch him grow up.
Leaving Henry was never what he wanted. He just gave Michelle space like she asked. Rebecca’s offer was convenient. And when Ted went back to Henry, he was doing what he wanted despite what Rebecca asked.
That’s his journey.
And I think the only reason Ted wasn’t shown in any of the flash forwards was because they didn’t want to show him outside of coming home to his son (because Henry is his future and his happy ending) and didn’t want to imply that he returned to Richmond later. I’m sure he stayed in contact with them all. He FaceTimes and calls them the same way he did with Henry. We can move away from family without giving them up
#Ted lasso#people tend to blame Michelle for leaving Ted#but it’s okay to grow out of a relationship#and sometime what is best for you will hurt other people#but that doesn’t make it selfish#and so what if keely/roy/Jaimie don’t get together is whatever combination you prefer#they’re shown together and laughing#they’re happy and at peace together#there aren’t many places like afc richmond#but there are people everywhere#and Ted will keep meeting them and showing them the best possible version of themselves#and that is so fucking beautiful#pps Ted and Nate didn’t need to have it out#because Ted had already forgiven Nate and didn’t expect or want Nate to earn it#because Ted just wanted Nate to know he was appreciated and loved#and Jaimie reuniting with his dad was beautiful too because his dad was already doing the work to get better#he wa spending his mistakes and trying to become a better person#just like Jaimie and just like Roy and Nate and beard#just because we don’t see a minor characters journey doesn’t mean it isn’t happening#that’s what having we’ll round side characters means#Jaimie rejecting him would have been valid but so is Jaimie embracing him#I know people who have reconnected with abusive parents once they’ve healed and become better#I have a million and one thought on the finale#overall I think it was perfect and totally inline with the rest of the series
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i apologise to my mutuals for who i become every wednesday after watching ted lasso
i just love that show. I LOVE IT.
#jamie tartt* is one of my favourite characters#and roy!#and keeley and rebecca and ted and colin and trent and and and and and#i may need to speak damages for what this fucking show has done to me#it's my happy place ngl#i never want it to end. like seriously. i'm not ready to let these characters go#*deletes tmi tag*#chatty lamps#*his arc is so beautiful! a child of abuse (and s/a) who had to put a horrible act on just to get through the agonising pain of his father'#abuse. someone who is all big talk and shitty behaviour because he doesn't want to be hurt - people can't leave you if you're never really#emotionally there with them. if you never let them in - only to grow and learn and hold himself accountable AND LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES AND#MAKE UP FOR THEM! TO LET GO OF THE POWER HIS ABUSER HAD OVER HIM! TO FORGIVE WHAT HAPPENED SO HE CAN MOVE ON! SO HE CAN BECOME HIS OWN#PERSON! SO HE CAN FIND LOVE AND FEEL AS IF HE'S DESERVING OF IT! SO HE CAN LOVE IN RETURN AND NOT HURT THOSE AROUND HIM!#SO HE CAN FEEL PEACE AND PRIDE IN HIMSELF - NOT FOR SHOW BUT FOR REEL - SO HE DOESN'T CONTINUE THE CYCLE OF ABUSE#SO HE DOESN'T PASS ON HIS FAMILY'S GENERATIONAL TRAUMA!!!! asdfghjkl;'#jamie grows so much in a short span of time and i want to hug him#i want roy and keeley to love him the way he needs and help build his confidence (whilst also always keeping him in check)#i just- ugh.#jamie and joo won have a lot in common and i'm definitely learning about some stuff about myself lol
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i never understood how people would leave those who are addicted to something. doesnt matter what the relationship is, familial, platonic, romantic, etc., i never understood how someone could "give up" on them.
i have always believed that addiction is a disease and you should help and support those suffering with it. that they have changed because of what they are addicted to, and they arent themselves anymore, so you should do everything to help them find themselves and who they want to be outside of addiction again
but i get it. my ex has changed and become someone who actively chooses to do things that hurt me, and make me feel bad when i tell them what they did hurt my feelings. even if they aren't purposely trying to be hurtful, they arent thinking about how what they say or do will effect me and have consequences
they aren't themselves. i know they are capable of kindness and being a good person and a good partner. i know that whenever they heavily drink they become someone selfish and mean drunk and sober. i know they dont see things clearly anymore.
i've witnessed it before. i chose to be with them and let them figure their shit out. and they did. they started drinking significantly less and were kind and loving to me again.
but i dont think i can do it again. especially when they have a new partner they love and talk about all the time and bring over to sleep on the mattress we bought together. especially when they wont admit that everything they have been doing since they met their new partner, are things i have been begging for them to do with me.
i cant do it anymore. it is killing me. they wont even let me grieve properly! tell me they think it is weird that i go from being okay, confident, and excited to figure myself out to "suddenly" crying in my room. i get im a loud cryer, but im not going to anyone for reassurance or telling them they made me feel that way. im just crying! by myself! my therapist is the one that told me it is completely acceptable for me to be grieving the way i am. especially because im autistic.
i cant do it. i know they arent themselves. i know alcohol turns them into something awful and i am the target for their meanness. their dad was the same way with his ex-wife. like i get it. they need help. a lot of help.
i dont even point out their alcoholism too much, i try to let them figure it out on their own again. i just cant take it anymore. i cant do this anymore. i dont want to be treated this way anymore. i dont want the love i still have for them to be poisoned by their addiction.
i am so done. they need help. i am the clear target for their hate and awfulness. my former roommate pointed out the way they have treated me for the past month and a half seems abusive. and i dont even know what to think of that.
i cant be their target anymore. they need to figure their shit out. maybe ill message one of their sisters to try to see if they can help, but i dont know if i would be overstepping for that.
i deserve to heal from everything without also having to try and be understanding that the way they are treating me is because of their addiction.
they have grabbed me (a couple times) by my arm in a very aggressive way while drunk. they tried to rape me while drunk. they have punched the wall while drunk and angry at me. they have said some truly malicious shit to me while drunk. they get angry at me because im not expressing my emotions however way they expect me to when they are drunk. they have done so much shit to me while drunk. and i forgave them, even when they would deny it ever happened
when we were still together, they would always try to have sex with me, only when they were drunk, despite the numerous times i have told them that i am not comfortable having sex with someone who is drunk when i am sober. and they know i feel this way intensely because of the "friend" i had that raped me while i was drunk.
aahhhugggggsjsjskahagskakah
i dont know what to do. i dont know how to help them anymore. i dont know how to be there for them anymore. i dont know how to support them anymore. at least i dont know how to do all of that, and protect my mental sanity at the same time.
i just want them to be themselves again. i dont want to be with them anymore. i just miss them. they dont realize im not just grieving the relationship, im grieving them and who they used to be.
#maybe this is who they are now#maybe they are actively choosing to be this person#and i will be their only target and everyone else will get the love and support from them#maybe im the scapegoat#maybe they need someone to blame for how shitty they feel and they are choosing me#and punishing me for it#i dunno#this happens to me#a lot#people change or become who they always were#are kind and generous and thoughtful to others but actively choose to treat me like garbage#and somehow it is always my fault#im done#i dont want this#im tired of being the scapegoat#its not my fault#its theirs#i always take accountability for my mistakes and grow and become better for them#and never make the same mistake twice#i get im annoying to be with because. as my first ex liked to put it#'you are too good. nice. and kind. you make me feel like shit for not being as good as you'#'you need to stop being so kind and understanding '#i dont fucking get it!!!#why is it so wrong to try to always grow and help people#gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah#i dont ever use all that i do for them against them#i do it because i want to and i love them#i feel like im going crazy#am i the bad person? am i in the wrong?#i dont know anymore. i just want to heal. better myself. and uplift those around me and try to see the good in things
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