#perhaps not my best storytelling but gets the idea out anyways

[wendelyngandr]

>be an osteographer >go to a new town >locals are welcoming and accommodation is not hard to find >spend the afternoon getting to know the place >finally decide to get down to it >ask guide for directions to the cemetery >"Oh, in this city we cremate our dead." >mfw

[dotthings]

I have some thoughts about Cas after seeing Misha’s comment on why Cas wasn’t in TW so let me put these bullet points here:

* Many Cas fans latched onto “Cas helped” like it was the only rope thrown to us in a sea of Cas erasure because that’s what it was. If I’d had to believe for the past four years that Cas was trapped in The Empty I would have gone out of my mind and I was already out of my mind due to the various fails of the series finale. Not judging since I get the appeal of a rescue arc but did people really want Cas helpless in The Empty, limp, asleep, trapped in his own regrets for the past four years of realtime (also that’s not canonically how Cas went to The Empty, I’ll get to that). It sounds miserable

* Nobody said “Cas helped” was adequate, ftr. We said it was an info dump and it was the last ditch attempt to give us something after the covid regs/CW Network butchered the finale story and Misha’s part was cut. An info dump isn’t the best way to tell a story but is sometimes a necessity in TV storytelling because of external circumstances

* Cas had earned better from the story and pretty much all the Cas lane all knew it. I was bitter about it. But also it’s what was available as a clue to Cas’s fate. We had Bobby’s line and Dean’s smile as a lantern in the darkness

* If Cas was intended to still be in The Empty why in the og version was he at the bar with Dean if the intent was for him to be trapped in The Empty

* No shade at Misha. Just thinking it through. CMP doesn’t retcon. CMP fills in the blanks and recontextualizes

* one of the great things about 15.18 was Cas’s self actualization story and that when The Empty took him he was fulfilled. Not empty. Cas saved himself—The Empty would have no power over him beyond trying to whisk him away. That is canon. Cas’s self actualization also means something to many Cas fans. The inadequacies of 15.20 don’t make the messaging and implications of 15.18 (and the story leading up to it) less worthwhile and people are still allowed to find Cas’s story meaningful. Even if we’re relieved and happy a follow up is seemingly on the way finally

* The rescue is a great story idea, Misha was maybe just speculating at CCS, or wanted to make fans happy, but I’m not dismissing that perhaps it’s a hint about some revival plans and I feel all tingly

* It doesn’t have to be incompatible with Cas saves himself. Perhaps Cas redesigns Heaven from The Empty

* Reminder that Cas is a cosmically fearsome really stubborn self-realized BAMF who was taken fulfilled and can cancel out possibly even destroy or absorb and transform The Empty’s…energy. Reminder Cas and Rowena were paralleled characters, Rowena wound up as ruler of Hell, while Cas ———-abandoned to a question mark but gee what could it be *looks at Rowena*

* Let me float this scenario. Dean goes to save Cas…and finds Cas sitting on The Empty’s throne, having taken over and reformed the place. Dean’s just staring poleaxed with happiness to find Cas and because he expected Cas to be asleep. Cas, calmly, “Hello, Dean”

*I know some people have speculated about this already. And with whatever insight and power he gained maybe he could have redone Heaven remotely. Maybe Cas at the bar is after the “rescue” — maybe he needs Dean’s help to exit The Empty even if Cas overpowered it. Who wants to clown with me about Cas King of The Empty *honk honk*

* There’s also the question of missing time and pov for Dean between the moment of his death and his arrival in Heaven and what if Cas guided Dean’s soul—lost and confused—somehow but sticking a pin in that for now

Anyway it seems very very likely we are getting a follow up to 15.18 and Cas’s story that finally gives him his full due.

*HONK HONK*

And hearthands for Misha and Jensen both watching over Cas the way they did. Misha realized a cameo wasn’t adequate, Jensen agreed, wholeheartedly, Cas deserved a full follow up not just a cameo with no explanations or deeper story, we knew this already actually but it’s good having Misha on video summarizing it. (It’s possibly due to Harvey Dent that Misha only had time to do a cameo, btw. Not because no one thought Cas should have more screentime).

[mystreet-liveblog]

Earlier today I thought to myself how Season 1 feels the most iconic despite being the least developed season (from a production and continuity standpoint)

Now I’m trying to think about why. I don’t think the reason has anything to do with the plot or characters or humor, but rather the formatting

Season 1 was a Minecraft Roleplay. Sure it had a few cinematic scenes, but at its core it was a bunch of characters existing and interacting in Minecraft. It was mostly first-person perspective with in-game dialogue read out loud by Aphmau, and it had that nostalgic feeling of playing Minecraft with your friends

None of the other seasons capture that same feeling (so far on my binge anyway). The first-person perspective is still in some bits of PDH S1 and Love~Love Paradise, but they don’t have that same Minecraft-specific vibe to them

The best example I have of what I mean is in S1 when Aphmau is unpacking her boxes and putting up her posters. She is building in Minecraft! You don’t see that past Season 1, where characters take out blocks and place them, because the story slowly starts not-being based in Minecraft

Of course, the switch to cinematic storytelling is by no means a bad thing. I’m just pointing out that the reason Season 1 feels so different is because it’s far more Minecrafty than others. The show slowly stops being a Minecraft Roleplay and starts becoming a “roleplay in Minecraft” during its run

And I think this is also why Season 3 feels sort of disconnected from the rest of the show (I know it’s where a lot of OG fans stopped watching back in the day, myself included). Season 3 is entirely cinematic, with most of the Minecraft aspects gone beyond the medium itself. Even the cats are changed from Minecraft cats to Neko Atsume cats

For the first two seasons, MyStreet was still a Minecraft Roleplay, but the third season made a big leap into TV-show territory. It sort of feels like it came out of nowhere, too, despite previous seasons having fully-cinematic episodes of their own. I can’t quite figure out why it felt so different because of this. Cinematics weren’t new, but perhaps since they often came alongside pov scenes they fit in better

And that makes Season 4 a very interesting case. I haven’t started Season 4 on my binge yet, but something I distinctly remember about it is that it brought back the first-person perspective shots (though I believe from Aaron’s pov this time, establishing him as a season protagonist). I think this is a great idea because it returns those initial S1 vibes I was referring to

Then, as the season gets more plot heavy, the pov gets replaced by more and more cinematics, until the paradigm shift fully establishes MyStreet as a TV-show once again. I think this is what Season 3 needed: a reason to become more TV-like

Season 4 is an MCRP until suddenly it isn’t, and its advancing story becomes deserving of cinematics. Season 3 didn’t entirely earn this shift. MyStreet has always been TV-like but it wasn’t a proper show until Season 4. Or, more accurately, it became a show in S3, then reverted back for a proper transition in S4

I still like S3 and its cinematics, but I also admit that it could’ve benefitted from taking itself a little less seriously at certain times. The pov shots are comedic because they remind the audience “oh yeah, this is a video game!” I don’t think S3 did anything wrong, but just by simply being different it created a different vibe to the whole thing

Anyway, I’m looking forward to starting S4 soon, and seeing if this post holds up by the end of it

[moonyinpisces]

Hi! I finally read HDWTOTL after seeing the cover art submissions on my dash for days. I won’t be emotionally the same ever again. Thank you, genuinely. But anyway, I was wondering if I could get some general writing advice?

I haven’t ever finished a story, and my problem is this: I can’t propel it forward. I have ideas for the beginning or middle of a story, but they’re just vague, disconnected scenes or emotions. I can never bring it to an end. And I can’t seem to bring people from location to location in a way that doesn’t feel very awkward.

Sometimes I look back at the writing I’ve done in a day and I realize it’s nearly all dialogue. Is this just my sign to be a screenwriter?

Or is there another angle to telling a story I’m not seeing?

How does one go from being a shit storyteller to a good one?

Thank you❤️

oh my gosh, thank you for reading hdwtotl and reaching out!! and yes, i can absolutely help you out, i'll throw my thoughts + advice down under the cut <3

i've always struggled with exactly what you're describing until relatively recently. i could get the barebone structure of a story down (beginning, end, vague plot points, dialogue-only scenes, etc.) luckily you mentioned you have disconnected emotions as one of the building blocks, which is, imo the most important thing you can have as a writer.

all that writing is is having an emotion and using all the tools in your arsenal to make someone else experience that same emotion.

that's all it is. what you're describing re: pacing and progression are all valid concerns, but i think you should remove that from the equation for now and just focus on what certain plot ideas make you feel, and how to evoke that feeling in others. personally, i struggle with properly explaining myself UNLESS i'm writing fiction. like, i can't tell you what i'm feeling, but i can make you feel the same way, and in the end we're now on the same wavelength. i don't think that's THE way to write, but it's the way i approach it and i couldn't do it any other way.

as to how to grow/push past what you're specifically struggling with: i think what helped me the most to develop myself as a writer is write the world around you. if you saw a sunset over farm hills in late october, how would you describe that to depict the feeling it evoked in you? the chilliness, perhaps spookiness, the beauty WITH the context that it's ushering in darkness, the dying plants, the cows huddling for warmth, the sound of a passing train. both the material and the immaterial work together in tandem in fiction -- what does the narrator sense from both? do that until it becomes second nature; if i see something incredible irl, you best believe my mental typewriter is going nuts. (the bentley scene in chapter 11 of hdwtotl had existed in my brain for MONTHS sentence-by-sentence WITH paragraph breaks before i finally got it down lol)

so if i were you, that's what i'd work on first before trying to bring it bigger picture with a beginning-middle-end as i think your pacing will naturally develop from it as well. what do you see, how do you feel, and how can the reader come away with both of those things without having been where you are themselves. also single scene oneshots to get in some practice translating that to fictional spaces.

good luck, i hope you break past this!! we need more storytellers out there

[aioledreams]

Ciel's Adventures in Dawntrail, Part 3

So Dawnservant succession arc, part 2.

Brief aside to mention that I like that the leader of Tural has chosen to call himself the Dawnservant, and that their children are referred to as "promise" and that later Wuk Lamat would be known as "Vow". I just appreciate the symbolism in their choice of words there.

The back half of our set of Tural stories has us visiting the giants and the people above and below the jungles of Yak T'el.

The giants have for the most part calmed down from their warmongering ways and have decided that peace is less effort and much better, actually. This is all except for one faction who thinks war was the best and that they should still be doing it. Change is hard for everyone. Bakool Ja Ja is so cartoonishly evil here that he sets free the dread serpent bird that ravaged the countryside a generation ago and was so tough to beat they had to trick it into trapping itself instead... but this time we're here so we kill it. Go us! Koana (I haven't mentioned it yet but I do love green cat) is starting to come round to see things from Wuk Lamat's point of view and helps us out, yay!

I really appreciated the stark beauty of the land of the giants. I am looking forward to gawking at the scenery of the dungeon a bit more when I bring my trusts through later.

Next stop is a cooking competition. I do love that one of the challenges was a cooking competition, and the story here of finding out about how two warring tribes celebrated making peace was pretty nifty. Also the idea of two angry lizards try to cook spicy meats and flatbreads does amuse me a little. Here is where we very soundly beat Zarool Ja. Hopefully he won't take it badly, right?

Wuk Lamat also has a pretty awesome fight with Bakool Ja Ja and proves that she's not just all talk. You go girl!

Last stop before heading back to the big city is to go talk to the Mamool Ja. They live deep in the jungle, grow chromatic bananas, and really are not into outsiders very much because most of the friendly ones have all moved out of the jungle. The jungle, by the way, is gorgeous, but apparently the meteorites that make it that way are also making things difficult to grow here. The people here have a belief in creating one specific genetic anomaly over and over again to the point of a literal giant pile of stillborn eggs and in general are pretty miserable. This sucks, and we promise to help them with their growing food problem, and I guess that's enough to get them to help us out and talk to us actually. Bakool Ja Ja has been thinking about his fight with Wuk Lamat, decides she can actually help, and does a face turn. Surprise!

Here I think is where the storytelling is its most... thin. For the sake of the story we have to make in-roads with these people right now. We don't even give them hard proof of our promises before they decide to help us, and that's probably one of the least believable things for me out of this whole story. A group of people who naturally distrust outsiders, have no idea what can be got from across the sea, who have a history of seeing their crops fail again and again... well, I'd be wanting to see at least some promising sprouts before I'd start questioning my beliefs, personally. Perhaps to their credit these people may already know deep down that their way of life is not sustainable... but I don't know. Most of the time people dig in.

I'm also going to take a moment to comment on the music here. I absolutely adore the night theme for Yak T'el. It is gorgeous. Its soothing and gentle piano line gives me life. I cannot wait to get ahold of this in orchestrion form so I can put it in Ciel's apartment playlist. It is with equal measure that I do not like the day theme for Yak T'el. I do not like it at all. The vocals grate on my nerves. It is just not for me.

Anyway we meet Ketenramm and some people are pretty impressed by that. He seems nice. We also find the entrance to the city of gold. We don't actually need to go there right now. Just finding it was enough, apparently, so its back to Tuliyollal for a big party.

[disaster-fruit]

Believe it or not, I am 27 and have just discovered ATLA and I have some questions. Is my feeling correct that most Zutara shippers are women/nonbinary folks and most Kataang shippers are, well, men. I just can’t help thinking how Kataang is written with such a male gaze in mind, while Zutara covers both perspectives. Anyways, I understand why the show ended with Kataang, I’ve read all the big metas, I understand that Bryke kind of sucks etc. etc. But I’m curious what you think about this perceived gender divide since you’ve definitely been around longer lol

Hello! I gotta say, i don't think i have a better perspective of the fandom to offer, since i haven't actually been part of the fandom since maybe 2012? and back then i was a literal child and i couldn't speak English so 'being in the fandom' was mostly just reblogging gifs and reading the zutara fics in brazilian ao3 of the time. I have watched and re-watched ATLA an unholy amount of times since then, and i have read and watched hours and hours of meta and theories and whatnot, but the fandom itself is not something i'm well acquainted with to give a good perspective on.

I do, however, love to talk and love receiving asks, so i guess you'll get my opinion anyway. And everyone knows i'm not usually concise.

First of all, are most zutara shippers women/non-binary and kat@ang shippers men? I don't know. I haven't been in the fandom and i haven't checked the bios of most posts i did see and interact, so i have no idea. The only kat@ang shipper i personally know is a friend of mine, who is a woman. So i won't speculate on whether or not your feeling is correct, perhaps a fandom veteran would be better equipped at answering it.

What i WILL say is that Kat@ang is, in my opinion, much more appealing from aang's perspective than from katara's. She's older than aang, in an age girls are absolutely not looking at younger boys that way, and doesn't show any interest in him romantically through the whole show, with the only exception that comes to mind being their dance on season 3 (easily their best moment imo), and then their kiss at the very last minute. All we know is that Aang likes Katara, and the other way around is open to interpretation at best.

One sentiment I've seen from kat@ang shippers is that they seem to really like aang and what him to be happy, and since he likes katara, they ship the two. That is all well and fine, we support people having fun with their ships for whatever reason here. That is however not a good enough motivation if you are, you know, the creators of a show who were supposed to have some duty to storytelling, themes, and cohesion. So them making kat@ng happen just so that aang could 'get the girl', despite all the ways that weakens an otherwise phenomenal story, is a bad choice that should be criticized. At the very least, in its execution.

So yeah i don't think its wrong to say there's a 'male viewpoint' to kat@ang as it was made in the show, though i wouldn't necessarily extend that to the kat@ng fans in the fandom since i don't know them, and it feels unfair to make that assumption. For all i know there is probably no shortage of amazing fics out there that explore their dynamic much better than the show did.

But though i can't speak for kat@ang fans, there is another group i've seen more often in my metas and video essays journey and talking to male friends throughout the years, what i'll call 'shipping neutral' men. You know the type, they love avatar, they'll spend hours and hours dissecting all the aspects of the story and the themes and the worldbuilding up UNTIL the topic is romance in the show. Then they'll wave it away dismissively saying the show 'was never about romance' and the crazy shippers are 'getting distracted' from the real story and how they just don't care about that aspect. And some of them will say they're fine with Kat@ng because it's canon (and no other reason), some wont have an opinion on any of the ships, except that they're not important and anyone who HAS an opinion on that is just silly.

And HERE i definitely see not only a gender divide but a sexist tendency to disregard romance as less important to any story, and not as an integral part that deserves care and deserves to be well interwoven with the rest of it. It's basically a stereotype now about how zutara fans have all these metas and analysis about how perfectly the ship fits the shows themes and how that would improve the writing (and yes, i agree with all of them) and that's because we know that romance is just as deserving as action, as worldbuildng and whatnot, and that it can be a powerful writing tool to enhance character and plot and themes, and that the way it is done it ATLA is not that. And i think these 'shipping neutral' men's analysis all fall short and even tend to not notice flaws in the story because they refuse to interact meaningfully with that aspect. Because as we all know, romance is for silly girls.

And being honest, i have much more respect for any kat@ang shipper of any gender that is out here being passionate about what they like, writing their fics and writing their own metas and having fun in a respectful way, than i have for men (and people who aren't men) with that dismissive attitude towards the romance arcs in the show.

That was a tangent! But damn i haven't answered an ask like this in a while and its always very fun. Hope i didn't offend anyone lol If its not clear i'm not a fan of ship wars, we stan having fun here. Buuut i also love debating and engaging with the story and that sometimes can get confrontational. There's definitely a space for 'ship discussion' or 'ship debate' that doesn't cross the line to 'ship war', i think that line is 'fun'. We're having fun, right? Discussing fandom and writing is fun, right?

Anyways hope this makes sense, sorry I didn't actually answer your question even though i talked THIS MUCH.

[alltimefail-sims]

I dont want to sound rude but I wish youd stick to 1 project. I followed months ago and u seem to work on a lot of different things

This ask is over three weeks old; sorry to the sender that I've just gotten around to answering it.

First and foremost: I'm going to spin this a positive way and say thank you for being interested enough in one of my projects to follow me and inquire about my posting timeline. There are a handful of stories on simblr that I read and personally adore, so it's flattering.

With that being said, this is my hobby. I think of myself as a storyteller first, and I hope everyone who follows me can enjoy and value that enough to look past little editing errors and random (or slow) rollouts. It's kind of crazy to even be getting an ask like this because I do have a good amount of followers (thank you if you follow me, that's awesome), but there are MANY blogs that have a way larger following than me and I cringe when I think of one of them receiving a message like this. Good content takes time. If we're being honest, even subpar content takes time honestly lmao. I think everyone on here is sharing their sims and their stories for the love of it, for a creative outlet/stress relief, and/or for community engagement. Adding a timeline to something like that feels kind of unnecessary, imo. Plus, with the new pack coming and the infant update, I've been wary to go into any of my important saves. I can't afford to lose anything or have anything corrupted, and I'm not going to dive into anything when I know the game is about to undergo a massive amount of updates (and I'm going to have to wait on lots of mod and cc batch fixes most likely anyway).

Since we have opened this dialogue, in the spirit of honesty I want to add that this does kind of sound rude. We both know someone would never ask this off anon. It's just a peculiar demand to make of someone you don't know, and that's probably why you chose to approach this topic with anonymity, right?

Although, I will admit this ask poses a fair assessment: I absolutely do work on other things, whatever I feel like working on in the moment! I get new ideas every day. I'm sure I am not the only blog operating this way? When I really care about something though (like my Strangerville story, for example) I am extra meticulous about it. I'm not going to put out a story I love and am proud of in a half-assed way. I have a lot of learning, world building, and writing to do before that's even remotely ready to roll out. But I am doing my best, and I've shared details throughout the process because I'm excited about it. On the other hand, there are some projects I might try out but they just don't work. For instance, I hated doing the Bachelorette Challenge. It was extremely boring to me, and as much as I LOVE when other people do them, nothing exciting was coming of mine. I feel bad about that a little because I got some wonderful submissions, but this is my blog and I'm going to give myself permission (as everyone should) to only do what brings me joy or what I feel is worth my time. I haven't fully canceled it, but it's on the edge of the chopping block for sure. It's just not my thing, and that's okay. This is a hobby, and I want to spend my time on projects I love. I know follower count is always a big discussion on simblr for some reason, but that's not really why I'm here and I don't feel it is fair of followers to demand one type of content just because they followed for a specific reason.

Sooooo TLDR, I have to keep running my blog the way that works for me. I'm going to work on things as I want to and as inspiration strikes (that might mean I'm working on 5 WIPS at a time). I don't need a perhaps well-intended but nonetheless unnecessary performance review. I do appreciate you giving me an opportunity to explain this, and I ask for opinions frequently, so feel free to share them when that time comes. ❤

[wtfuture2]

Wait why are you deleting it?? :(

ok so a fewww reasons 1 im just not hyperfixated on it anymore 2 ive been into eddsworld for a very long time and have had many many bad experiences with it. i try to enjoy it as best i can but remembering the stuff that happened with me in it is not fun at all and its easy for me to not want to enjoy it anymore, even if i still want to at other times 3 i dont like the matt or bing and i dont like the direction the series is taking at all. im a big fan of story driven concepts (obviously) and for matt to start taking it in a very more comedic nature than where edd left off i feel as though its just reverted back to how it was before. when it was very obvious the more edd grew as an animator he also grew as a storyteller and wanted to tell actually stories people could get interested in unlike matt plus bing is a weirdo and the fact matt defends him is strange . also the time he was weirdly ableist for no reason and never apologized for it. most of my reasons besides serious ones are very petty in nature so dont take any of this more than with a grain of salt 4 not a huge fan of. the fandom. its definitely gotten a lot better over the years but its still very easy to find weirdos and strange people. also dont trust popular/big ew artists on here ive seen some stuff i dont EVER wanna see again from one in particular. if you know you know im sorry to all thje people that enjoyed my art. as i do not really post it anywhere else except on private discord servers due to my very cool paranoia. i try to have a consistent art blog but it never pans out well since my interests are very diverse and nost just one thing. plus i just had no idea people would actually be sad to like?? see that i was leaving i was surprised so thank you for everyone that seriously just enjoyws my art as art and not because silly gay hoodie guys i might not delete this blog but keep it up as a archive and perhaps one day if i do have a active art blog or account ill link it on here but for rn im just not interested in keeping this going. i had many creative plans for a lot of aus i wanted to make but i found that i always felt bad that i couldnt of just rather used those concepts for ocs and orginial stories rather just on. yknow. ew. not to say me writing serious stories for something like that would be in anyway cringe or weird to me i just think i could use the creativity and ideas elsewhere and would rather use them for my own stuff. plus i have a lot of designs i made for ew that i would like to keep as my own

[sofiadragon]

Sometimes people have a right to know, even when telling them can't be a "good" thing.

@ripfic made a post about how Steve Rogers was justified in not telling Tony Stark that his parents had been murdered. I don't want to hijack it with an essay, so I'm doing my own post. I want to start off by saying I agree that Steve felt he did the right thing and that he had the best intentions, but I found this to be parallel to the beginning of the film. This isn't a "you are wrong" it's "I frame that differently" and I hope you'll find this an interesting take rather than a hostile rebuttal from someone on the other side of the fence.

I understand Steve's choice, and he did it out of good intentions, but it turned out badly because that's the point. Bad news sucks, but you should tell your friends anyway. It's about the only clear message in the film, with how badly the rest of the themes are handled. Tony let Ross tell the team about the Accords, springing it on them as something they have to deal with right now - sign or don't sign. Laws take ages to pass, so Tony had time to tell the team and chose not to. We don't get any reasoning for that beyond an implied "not his job" or perhaps "something something Ultron-based PTSD."

Let's get a timeline down, to avoid arguments about who knew what and when. The Stark assassination was part of the information Zola showed Cap and Nat in CAatWS to scare/delay them. Zola says "When history did not cooperate, history was changed" while showing a picture of the Winter Soldier assassinating someone. Then, he shows a newspaper clipping saying Howard died in an accident. This isn't exactly subtle storytelling.

It is possible he finds out while searching Hydra bases offscreen sometime later, but if this key moment happened on-screen it is here or when Nat hands Steve a file about the Winter Soldier at the end of the film and warns that he won't like what is in it. So, "I didn't know it was him" is only a true statement if either:

Steve knew Hydra ordered a hit, but the Winter Soldier was not mentioned at all on whatever documentation he was shown by Natasha or found later. Steve might have suspected but Steve never knew with 100% certainty, and he chose to disregard circumstantial evidence like Zola's presentation.

After finding out about Wintercore Steve is no longer sure, but that only happened a few hours ago. Technically true, but certainly playing semantics with this one because it wasn't true yesterday.

In either case, he clearly looks guilty when he corrects himself and admits he knew.

Let's not skip over that folder Nat gives Steve. Natasha gives Steve upsetting information that he deserves to know. Things that are uncomfortable to say and a bummer to know about. Nothing in that file is good news. Neither Steve nor Natasha does the same for Tony, and everything I'm about to say about Steve also applies to her even if her internal logic might be a little more utilitarian and less about feelings and morals.

Steve wanted to spare Tony at first because there would be no closure with Bucky in the wind and no idea who exactly ordered the hit - it would only open new wounds. He clearly does not know, because Tony doesn't talk about feelings, that Tony blames himself for Howard drinking and crashing the car. It wouldn't occur to Steve that even without closure this would be good for Tony to know. He thinks it would only cause pain.

Even if new information from other Hydra bases starts piling up, it just isn't worth it to have such a 'weird' or awkward conversation. Maybe very little additional info outside the most circumstantial is found - other Winter Soldier hits that fit a vague pattern for how they use him at best, but no clear statement of who ordered the hit so no specific target for Tony's anger beyond Bucky, who can't be blamed. They are already fighting Hydra, so giving Tony another reason to want to take down Hydra isn't useful - especially since Tony is stepping back and has not really been a part of the team since Ultron. Steve has already decided that the first big chunk of news wasn't enough on its own so it is easy to decide these little shreds are not enough.

At this point, after all that rationalizing, only something as clear as Barnes confessing to what he remembers or the magic video that somehow exists [what was that, a lucky wildlife camera?] would be enough to move Cap. The inertia of the decision is too much, he has decided that Tony knowing would only hurt him despite this being information that is deeply personal to Tony. It's about Tony's family.

Steve can't have it both ways, either it will matter so much to Tony that not telling him isn't right morally or Tony will care so little that telling him won't be a big deal - but people hold that kind of cognitive dissonance all the time for interpersonal relationships. If Steve thinks it is specifically him telling Tony that would be weird, then he could tell someone else like James Rhodes. Instead, Steve and Natasha kept this completely under wraps.

I don't think he would expect Tony to lash out, for the same reason he wouldn't know Tony currently blames himself for his parent's death. It didn't occur to him that Tony wouldn't be rational and would lose all control due to his strong emotions, even in that moment when Tony is clearly beyond anger after seeing the video. Steve mourned his mom at about the same age and he's moved on from it. He has nothing unresolved related to becoming an orphan. He really does think that he's sparing Tony by not re-opening a long-healed wound, and he likely feels he is respecting Tony's "allergy" to emotional moments by not bringing this to him.

This isn't in the post I'm responding to, but I see it too much to leave it out: So many Steve-stans try to say that Tony should have robotically processed the information and accepted that the brainwashing left Bucky perfectly innocent - but Tony isn't a machine, he is a deeply emotional character who makes poor choices in high-emotion high-stress situations. That's the whole premise and plot of Iron Man 2. Stark doesn't hold Clint Barton to the things he did under Loki's control in the back half of Avengers 1, but he didn't watch Barton attack someone he loved the same day he met the guy in person for the first time. Tony wasn't right to try and kill Barnes because of his grief, but Wanda wasn't right to torture an entire town because of grief either. Let's hold people to the same standards when they are in emotional distress.

Tony deserves to know because it is about him and his family. Even if it will be painful, even if there is no good way to say it, he deserves to be told in a respectful way. He is instead blindsided by the facts in the most traumatic way possible and has an emotional response that is so overwhelming he wants to take a man's life. this is Steve's fault in part because Steve should have told him.

Stark is guilty of a very similar if less emotional, failure to have an uncomfortable conversation. "Hey, Cap, you know how you are breaking about 30 anti-terrorism laws every time you go beat up the bad guys? Well, there is a law that says it wants to fix that but it's got gremlins in it. Nasty ones. I know you'll hate this, but we need to hammer out a counterargument and put together a PR blitz to get the public on our side about this or we're going to lose out bigtime." This needed to be said months prior to the beginning of the film but was not.

Steve deserved to know about the Accords while they were being drafted, not after over a hundred countries agreed to them. Sure, he hates the dancing monkey act, but he has played politics before when needs must. This affects him and his team "family" directly. Tony shouldn't assume that Cap wouldn't want to help with lobbying for changes or making a public statement. Steve is blindsided by the Accords at the worst time possible. Peggy's death means he doesn't get the chance to do anything about them. There is only this one meeting left where they are going to be ratified and he has to miss it because he won't miss saying goodbye to her. Tony can't know this would happen, he thinks that having stepped back from the Avengers it isn't his place to make sure they are keeping up with the news coming out of the UN, or else he figures it would just cause unproductive arguments with Steve about PR being either irrelevant or Tony's job. Maybe Tony just wants backup for the conversation and people are always spread out and busy - he'll tell them later after the cleanup from the last mission is done... and then another mission happens... and then another mission...

There is an argument to be made that the team should have known this was coming if they watch the news and pay attention to world events, but they were quite busy cleaning up the Hydra infestation. Natasha is an assassin and a honeypot, that kind of thing was always handled for her. SHIELD did that - and Tony replaced SHIELD as their source of funding, supply, etc. I'd assume Tony does handle this the way he'd handle an employee. A new regulation is imminent, time to tell the staff so they can integrate it into their safety protocols. Let the bad news come from someone else if a regulator wants to make the presentation. Then, soften the blow if appropriate by telling them what SI legal is doing to fix whatever issue the employees might have and tell them to suck it up and deal with the new regs because in engineering most regulations are written in blood. "Wear your PPE no matter how silly it looks and mothball the stuff that you can't work on for now, the highly trained staff we have to deal with PR and Legal issues are on it" is realistic for corporate America.

It's a bit more selfish from the start on Tony's end, but in both cases, someone is withholding information because the conversation won't be all sunshine and roses. They are sparing themselves an hour or so of discomfort when the right thing to do is sit down and have an adult conversation.

[madseance]

I was tagged by @destinyandcoins to list my current top 5 songs. There was no requirement that I go into excruciating detail about my feelings regarding these songs, but also, notably (perhaps for next time!) no specific prohibition against me doing so. Therefore...

"This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. I am obsessed with, and yet also slightly hate, this song; I think the first line and hook/chorus are great, but I'm iffy on the rest of it. It feels unfinished. It's also very hard to just casually sing to yourself, which tbh is one of my top criteria for songs. Once in a delirium I got the idea to combine it with the good parts of another song I love-hate, "Glycerine" by the band Bush, but so far I haven't quite been able to make it work. Fun fact + opinion: despite it being written for a movie in which Kevin Bacon's wife nearly dies in childbirth, the actual best ever use of "This Woman's Work" was in the series 2 premiere of The Handmaid's Tale, during the execution scene.

"Spooky Scary Skeletons (Undead Tombstone Remix)" by Andrew Gold. Look. I didn't really get to enjoy Halloween this year because I was suffering from a dissertation. I'm not ready to let go of spooky season just yet. And as I've said before, by all rights spooky season should last through Christmas at least—the Victorians (my best bitches) told ghost stories at Christmas! A Christmas Carol is a ghost story! I'm probably going to reread The Woman in Black for Christmas this year. Anyway. This is obviously a goofy-spooky song (and best enjoyed in the form of Tom BetGeorge's Halloween light show), but it also brings me a lot of joy. For properly spooky music, we turn now to:

"Bottom of the River" by Delta Rae. A bitch loves some Southern Gothic! Delta Rae is a very Fleetwood Mac-esque group in that their songs cover a range of styles depending on which band member is featured, and I am partial to Brittany Hölljes's "witch" songs (whose music videos tell an ongoing story). They're apparently working on a musical(!), so look out for that if you enjoy this piece.

"Silver Springs" by Fleetwood Mac. A bitch ALSO loves mess, and it doesn't get messier than Rumours, perhaps best summed up by John Mulaney as "an album written by and for people cheating on each other." (One of many observations of his that aged poorly!) This live performance from The Dance may be the best version of Stevie Nicks' wistful-scornful breakup anthem, in which it is clear Lindsey Buckingham truly will "never break away from the sound of the woman that loved you". I distinctly remember first hearing Stevie do this on VH-1's Storytellers, which she verifiably didn't, but I chalk that up to her being a witch. My memory is fine! Get off of my lawn.

Superliminal soundtrack by Matt Christensen. Yeah, I'm putting a whole album on here; arrest me. I have not personally played Superliminal because I have a decade-old MacBook that would burst into flames if I even thought about it, but I watched a playthrough of it while doing my master's degree and got really emotional about the ending. (Yes, it is a puzzle game.) The soundtrack is my go-to for background work music now, and if you also enjoy it, you can buy it directly here. I also strongly recommend playing the game if you can (or else watching a no-commentary playthrough), though if you're really pressed for time, you can also watch the devs react to a 23-minute speedrun.

I don't know who to tag in these, but if you wanna do it, just do it; the police can't stop you.

[a-robots-portfolio]

Day 1 (Part 1) || Evaluon

The excursion week started off great, because it started off with robots. Naturally, that gives any museum the benefit of the doubt, and Evaluon did not disappoint. Even just walking into the lobby made me excited, because they had these huge black and white portraits circling the top of the wall; each of them an individual who had a particular vision of the future, from Leonardo Da Vinci to Greta Thunberg and more. My personal favourite was, of course, Isaac Asimov (author of I, Robot and The Bicentennial Man, among other amazing works) and the fact that he was included filled me with hope. (I'm not much of a museum person, but if my favourite robot author is there, it's gotta be good, right?) Tragically I didn't see much of him in the expositions, but it definitely set the tone for the sort of things that were on display.

The museum was split up into various rings (the building itself was shaped like a UFO, it was... fascinating) that climbed higher and higher around the edges. Each ring had a different theme-- I made the unfortunate mistake of not really taking a picture of the whole, but perhaps there's maps to be found online. I took a lot of pictures overall (they didn't say it wasn't allowed, so uhh... free advertising?) but tragically I can only insert 10 pictures per post, so I tried to make a selection for you guys.

One of the first things we encountered was a small robot that could type the phrase "I work" on an iPad, before rapidly deleting it again and starting over (same little robot, I too have anxiety about everything I write). Then my attention was rapidly absorbed by a literal wall of text arcing around about half of the first ring, each section detailing a dilemma or topic concerning the future, ranging from robot workforces to eternal life and paradise to doomsday. I absolutely loved what they did with the little quote sections at the bottom, the typography felt very in-style with the exposition and I loved recognizing quotes and song lyrics amidst the information. They were also fascinating topics, and when I first saw this I was like "yes. this will be my term 4 project". Foolish little me had no idea how many times I would think that that day, but we all have lapses of judgement /lh.

Anyway, there was a lot more to see: lots of examples of robots in popular media, a good amount of which I recognized (as resident robot nerd, that was kind of a given). There was also a wall with magnets where you could build your own robot, and we built this... monstrosity... yeah...

I also saw this cool screenshot which I believe is from an anime... I'm gonna have to check that one out, it looks interesting (if you see me ranting about an anime on my main sometime soon,,, uh,,, no comment)

floating blocks! idk i just thought they were cool. also i played space invaders (i was so proud i got the console to work, nobody else in my class knew how to work it). Oh, and there was a Back To The Future car. that was pretty neat.

There were also things I didn't remember to take pictures of-- there was a video about a Kitty AI, a supposedly benevolent cat AI that took over the world and tooootally had the best intentions. The cat loves you. Yup. So safe.

Also there were some little interviews with people, i took random notes:

Stine Jensen: stated that the difference between humans and robots are that humans have emotions

Martin Koolhoven: really excited about AI, says it's the "biggest invention": claims it will take control of the world someday, he just hopes we'll be part of that world when it comes

Pupul Bisht: storytelling about the future is often told from the perspective of those in power: if you tell the story of the future from the perspective of a different culture, you might get very different ideas than those of stereotypical European/American utopias

Some other things I noted: the schools from Astroboy (they had a very interesting system that I want to look deeper into). I also wrote down Over The Moon. Uhm. I don't remember why. I just did. yerrrp

[desultory-novice]

I don't think I've seen you do this one yet. So what are your thoughts on a personal favorite Villain of mine; Queen Sectonia?

Okay, so I have a bit of a childhood phobia about bugs. 

Spiders I'm relatively okay with, but let me tell you, when Queen Sectonia first appeared I felt a shiver run up my spine. That said, it didn't last long outside of that initial "Why did the last boss have to be a GIANT BUG?!" and I now think she's got a completely killer design! (Although, lol, that waist...) I'm personally a little partial toward the red rose-theming in her DX form...

<Behind the cut, I talk a surprising amount about Sectonia!>

So, speaking of her boss fight! The team at HAL had the unenviable task of outdoing Magolor (not easy) as a last boss and they...did it, quite honestly! 

Oh, Magolor's got some amazing thematic stuff going on (bias bias) and Robobot has sheer spectacle, but Queen Sectonia is perhaps the best pure multi-stage boss fight among the three. Honestly, it's hard to think of any other last boss in Kirby that gets you more bang for your buck than Sectonia. Including the ones to follow her.

And heck yes, we stan a Warrior Queen!! God, she is SUCH a badass! I love her pulling out the swords so much, ahhh, I love it. She's one of the few combat mages in the franchise, and the only (?) one until the Mage-Sisters came about. (Given the discarded settei where they were originally going to be weapons Hyness imbued with life, I'd say Sectonia probably was a major inspiration behind their development too.) And all that is just for her first form! Jumping ahead here, but the look she gives Kirby at the end, right when he's about to end the fight, is an amazing moment of wordless characterization.

Which I guess brings us to “Moonstruck Blossom,” huh? It’s amazing. Really gorgeous. Utterly listenable. It loses only to “C.R.O.W.N.E.D.” in my mind because a) I'm an unrepentant Magolor fan and b) there's more notes of obvious story/plot/characterization woven into the second, even if they are both beautifully characterful pieces! But speaking of characterization...

...For me, I feel if we had gotten a slightly better look at how Sectonia went from a carefree child princess (?) to a heartless conquering queen, maybe heard a little more of her struggles - did she ever fight the mirror? Was the corruption slow? Fast? - there would be more to pull out of the song and it would have a greater emotional impact for me. Anyway, they're still VERY close with each other. 

I sometimes think that Clone Sectonia and the "1,000 years worth of species" drop was there because Kumazaki-shi maybe realized he had written up a lot more about Sectonia and Taranza than he'd actually had room to tell in game. Ahh, the flaws of taking too light a hand with storytelling! (Now, I enjoy a light-ish hand with things, where we get enough to theorize but not so much that there’s no room for different interpretations, but I do feel there’s just a little missing from Secty for her to be a fixation - in spite of this essay, lol.)

But maybe Triple Deluxe will get a novelization after Return to Dream Land and we'll get some Spider POV? I'll keep an eye out for announcements, regardless.

Err, we were talking about “Moonstruck Blossom,” right? Ahaha, needless to say, her majesty's (poisoned) wish for beauty lives in on this beautiful song!

Back to Sectonia herself. I think there IS (potentially) some really interesting stuff going on with her. (And Taranza too.) The story seems to suggest that Sectonia and Taranza are actually from a different kingdom altogether and have simply chosen Floralia as their most RECENT conquest... So then, how long has this stream of invasions been going on?! Sectonia's army has a strong steel & jewel theme and that makes me think of fantasy Dwarves for some reason. (Something something, Final Fantasy Dwarves, something something, Japanese "tsuchigumo" - maybe I’m onto something...?) 

Err, anyway the idea of Dream World's insect-dwarves invading the sky-elves is really cool and if this were the kind of franchise for it (it's not) I would probably really enjoy a lengthy military epic about Sectonia, Taranza, and their 1,000 year long conquest through the lesser-known Kingdoms surrounding Dream Land. I mean, corrupted Sectonia obviously cared about beauty, but there's beauty in strength too, and seeing her run through a chain of bodies looking to be both more beautiful and MORE POWERFUL...

...Triple Deluxe's backstory could be the plot of an entirely different game, tbh.

What else? I mentioned before I'm a Sectaranza (?? I am so bad with English ship names in this fandom) shipper. That hasn't changed. I like them. I like the way they've been subtly developed outside their game too.

...Hmm hmm... I think her color palette is just a little too strong in her Dreamstalk form (although it WORKS with that lovely shift from night to day mid-battle) and I prefer the ragged and paler petals of her Soul form, specially when combined with her golden wings. 

One thing I DON'T like is when she detaches from the stalk and becomes just a flying head. It's a weird instance of G-rated Gore (Thanks, Kumazaki!) that throws me off and brings back my phobia of insects. Or maybe it's just a phobia of flying heads?! I haven't run into quite enough to be sure!

...Err, um, ahaha, I also love that it's implied, based on the start of the Soul fight, that, much like Marx, she is just too tough and too bitter about losing to die! Dess happens to believe the Soul bosses are canon, at least in MY own inner Kirby-verse. I know, I know. They're "what-ifs" (although wasn't that said more about Meta Knightmare mode, more than anything else?) but the world of Kirby is soooo much richer when you include them!

Winding down some, Sectonia is a character who is lots of fun to talk about...for what a sadly limited appearance she has.... Her treatment as "canonically super mega dead" ends up cutting, well, almost all of her future potential short, and it's a shame. 

But there's... not much to do about it. Write fanfic where she is resurrected by the Dreamstalk? Make that Sectonia war epic...? I've got my own long-term project that’s going to keep me busy for a long time (:coughs in Marxolor:) so that kind of undertaking is not for me, but I'll raise a toast to the Queen and her future (?) anyway!

But hey, speaking of "Dess thinks the Soul bosses are canon" maybe there's a reason they've all been linked in some way till now? (Attack patterns and visual motifs.) If Kumazaki is playing the longest game, we may yet see them ALL return in some form. Once we are finally let in on what it MEANS to fight with your very soul! (...And it will probably be utterly horrific if it does happen.)

What else have I left out...? Oh, it's awesome that she's voiced by Kirby's VA! Ohmoto-san has such range! Speaking of, that very brief conversation she and Susie (same VA again) have in the 25th Anniversary Concert is a fun little treat! (Has that been subtitled...?) 

You know, the first time I watched it, I assumed Susie was talking to Clone Sectonia, but Sectonia does say she was "...sleeping" so, who knows? Maybe she isn’t -quite- dead after all, just out of reach of Taranza and the rest... (Also, my heart wibbles like crazy that, despite casting him aside, the FIRST thing she does upon waking is ask for Taranza. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....)

Oh, yes! We're finally back to a character I can link a good video too, because HOMG Itoki Hana's vocal cover of "Moonstruck Blossom" is a treasure! 

(I mean, okay, all of Itoki Hana-san's Kirby songs and remixes are treasures. I don't know what she's up to lately, or if we will see more Kirby from her, but what wonderful gifts she's given us so far!)

Anyway, everyone who has managed to avoid this song over the past 8 years, correct that flaw now!

[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’

“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!

If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,

“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”

This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.

The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.

1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”

2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”

3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”

4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”

5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”

6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”

7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”

8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”

9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”

12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”

13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”

14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”

16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”

17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”

In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.  

[mxpseudonym]

Pairing: Tommy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Polly Shelby wants you, a shy, single, slightly anxious churchgoer, to meet her nephew, the dangerous gangster Tommy Shelby. He’s more than gentlemanly at first glance, which only adds to his attractive charm. After weeks of being on edge and going no farther than heavy petting, you finally decide to push for having Tommy devour you. However, entering the bedroom with Tommy Shelby means you’ll have to follow his saucy rules. Agreeing requires a verbal, enthusiastic, “Yes, Sir” and leaving your shame at the door.

Length: 2738 words (allegedly)

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, lite Dom/sub, Consensual as all hell

A/N: Sorry I’m late, but honestly that’s very me so. Anyway, hope you’re ready because I am y/n, you are y/n, we are all y/n this time round. 😏

"Need some help?"

You looked up from where you were kneeling on the floor to see none other than Polly Shelby. You'd pulled your rosary too tight again, and the thread snapped from the tension. Now, before you could stop her, Polly was kneeling and helping you pick them up. 

Polly was always kind to you. When needed, she shared her hymn book and complimented your church hats that matched your dresses particularly well. Even though you never had much to say, she was always casually chatting with you. 

"You're not seeing anyone, are you?" Polly asked, catching you off guard. Was this why she was so lovely? Two women in an empty church, and one of them confesses to the other. What would God say?

"I'm not."

"You should meet my nephew, Thomas. I think you'd make quite the pair." 

You smiled at the invitation. It wasn't out of flattery, per se, but more because you knew it must have been difficult for Polly to be an aunt taking on her duty as a familial matchmaker when her nephews ran the most dangerous gang in Small Health. Polly didn't seem like the type to let anything happen to you if things didn't work out on a simple date, and you felt indebted to her for being such a good friend to you. So you nodded. 

"Well, if he asked me to dinner, I'm sure I wouldn't say no." 

You didn't think much of it, quite frankly. In the year that you'd been in Small Heath, you'd turned down enough dinner invitations to be thought of as a godly woman and a prude. Not that you minded. You were single and childless in the newly bustling city of Birmingham, and living alone for the first time in your life was a luxury you didn't want to give up. You had your mother's pistol tucked in your bag and a vague idea of how to shoot it, so you were safe enough, but the added rumor that you were unapproachable was helpful.

If anything, what surprised you most was Thomas Shelby actually showing up to church that Sunday. Even leaning against the stone wall outside with a cigarette in hand was enough to cause a stir as the congregation poured out of the church. 

He was a handsome man, and his cool, certain eyes seemed to see right through you. Even with your heart thumping in your chest, gravitating towards him was only natural. He was waiting for you, after all. 

"Y/n L/n?" He asked, his voice deep and telling of his : upbringing. It fit him well, you thought as you looked at him from under your sun hat. 

"Mr. Shelby," you said with a nod. 

"My aunt seemingly won't rest until I ask you to dinner," he said, dipping a hand into his pocket to reach for more cigarettes. 

"Oh? Is this you doing it?" 

Tommy's head tilted at you as he took in your smile and looked you over. You were already a bit bold for someone who was meeting a hoodlum. A smirk crept onto his face. He wasn't complaining. 

"Ms. l/n, would you have dinner with me?" He asked. You paused, causing him to sigh and pull out his cigarettes. "My aunt promised I wouldn't get rejected by a beautiful woman if I got the courage to ask. Now I'm embarrassed."

"I'm sure you're not," you said, laughing to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "But I will go to dinner with you, Mr. Shelby. I did promise Miss Shelby." Tommy looked you over again before nodding.

"I look forward to it."

                                              .:.

When Tuesday evening rolled around, Tommy was at your doorstep in a fine suit. If you had any doubt about your long, beaded dress being nice enough, Tommy pushed the thoughts away in an instant.

"You look stunning, Miss l/n," he praised you while holding out his arm. 

"Thank you, Tommy. You look very handsome tonight as well."

There was an air of authority about him, yet his gaze was soft when he met your eyes and smiled. The car ride was comfortable enough and did nothing to prepare you for the exquisite venue. The ceilings were high, and the decor was elegant. 

"It's my job to find a venue a quarter as lovely as the woman accompanying me, isn't it," Tommy said when you mentioned that it was possibly too fancy for you. 

"Oh please," you murmured, waving away the compliment. 

At some point throughout the night, you wondered if you'd been on a better date. Tommy took care of everything, from directing the butlers in their penguin suits to ordering things he seemed to know you'd like. ON your own, you'd have spent half an hour choosing a meal, and god only knew how long getting a server's attention. But tonight, you were left to focus on his witty storytelling that left you laughing behind your napkin. Tommy raised a hand and grasped yours. It was a small amount of contact but, perhaps the wine or the man himself made you want more of his warmth. All too soon, he gently pulled your hand down and into your lap.  

"Don't hide. I want to hear more from you," Tommy said. Your cheeks flashed hot as your mind took a naughty detour for a moment. 

"Okay, Tommy." 

It was after dinner that truly hooked you to the man. He wrapped you in his jacket before helping you into his car and driving you home. His hand rested on your knee on the way back. Yet, when he stood in front of your door, you were greeted with a hug. You didn't realize it until you leaned into his embrace that you were a bit anxious about a goodnight kiss or even Tommy pushing his way into your apartment. Gangster or not, he was a strong man with a domineering personality. He could have anything he wanted. You hadn't guessed that meant a simple hug and a request for a second date. Still, it left you smiling as you watched his car drive away from the entrance of your apartment. 

                                              .:.

"Ah, this is favorite."

"Really?"

"Winston Churchill himself recommended it."

You turned to Tommy with a skeptical eye. 

"Liar."

"How could I find the strength to lie to you, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes but turned back to the new gramophone in front of you. You had several dates with Tommy, and his gentlemanly behavior only continued. He never tried anything scandalous or forward, even as he managed to charm you to high heaven. There were times you wondered if, and perhaps even secretly hoped for, Tommy would move his hand up your thigh or kiss your neck. But it seemed that every date was an opportunity for him to learn more about you. He was more perceptive than you knew. He understood what you wanted and even made you feel like he could read your mind sometimes. 

You'd had partners before, even an adulterous ex-fiance, but with them, it felt like they were trying to learn your secrets to use against you. With Tommy, it seemed like he used that information to make you happy. Your eyes lit up when he brought you your favorite kind of pastry and a new scarf in your favorite color. 

His latest gift was the record player, and you shamelessly used the gift of music as an excuse to finally invite Tommy inside after a month of dating when it was clear he wouldn't do it himself. 

"You're quite the gentleman, Mr. Shelby," you mused as you slow danced in your living room. Tommy's hand flattened over your spine and pulled you closer. 

"I'd say you're bringing out the best in me yet, Ms. y/l/n."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against yours. You moaned softly against his lips as your swaying left the rhythm of the song to match you and Tommy. There was a hunger in his kiss that made you wonder just how much he was holding back. He could have any woman he wanted, you thought, but he was patiently kissing you to your liking and no more. His hand moved to thumb the buttons on your dress, and you pulled away gently. A guiding hand on your lower back or a calloused hand helping you out of the Bentley made your heart flutter, yet you still hesitated to take things further. 

"Wait, Tommy."

"Hm?"

"Not yet," you said shyly, not able to look him in the eyes. Tommy smirked at you. Little did you know, this confirmed several things he knew about you.

"Good girl."

Your eyes shot up to his in shock. What was this? His choice of words, his praise, the feeling of your insides warming all filled you with a sense of wonder. There was something in his eyes that looked satisfied and almost like an invitation. Would you accept? Accept what exactly? 

Not knowing the question or your answer, you kissed him again. 

                                              .:.

Good girl. 

Those two words were planted in your mind like seeds meant to sprout a specific restlessness. 

You thought about it passively for a while. At first, you wondered if you should be upset. Was Tommy treating you like a child? But nothing he did ever made it feel that way. If anything, Tommy was the one person who treated you most like a woman. After a few weeks, you began to think of it too often. On your lunches with Tommy or when he took you to the horse races, you wondered if he'd repeat it. You were eager to hear him say it. 

When you thought about it alone in the bath, you realized you couldn't hold it together much longer. Your eyes fluttered closed as you remembered that night. But memories turned to fantasy, and you could feel his breath against your ear. 

"Good girl. You're a good girl, y/n."

Your hands moved before you could think much about it. It had been a while since you'd done this, sliding a delicate finger between your legs. 

"Good girl," you whispered, your voice echoing off the walls and sending the praise back to you. You swirled your clit and repeated it again. Thinking of all the ways Tommy had touched you, even innocently, remembering the feeling and that casual smirk he wore. "Tommy, fuck, yes, I'm a good girl- ah!"

Your thighs squeezed your hand as your hips jerked with a strong release. Your eyes opened, and you stared at the ceiling.

"This is getting ridiculous."

                                              .:.

Tommy was just a little too good at listening to you, you decided. Anything you told him not to do was met with praise, and he'd never do it again. You'd expected, based on past experiences with men, that Tommy would try to push you until you were just where he wanted you. Instead, you were the one spacing out during dinner while admiring how good he looked in his suit. Would you prefer it on or off if he were devouring you? 

Tommy asked if you felt alright, which made you ashamed to even think the way you were. When did you get so lewd? It was in your apartment that Tommy let you know he knew exactly what you were thinking. You sat next to him on your couch, handing him a nightcap of brandy. 

"Y/n, you know that I care about you, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." You nodded quickly. Was this actually the end of things? You hoped not.

"I care about you more than I thought I could. And one of those reasons is because you know what you want," said Tommy as he sat his glass down. 

Your brows furrowed at the words. You thought you were indecisive and unable to speak up. If only Tommy knew how you'd been suffering. He continued after reading the confusion on your face. 

"Whenever we come back here, you know how far you want to go, and you know when to make a man like me stop."

"Oh,"

"I won't push you, love. I'm as patient as ever, so if you want more or less, that's up to you. It's whatever you'd like."

Tommy leaned over and placed a hand on your knee reassuringly, though it only helped your heart beat harder. You shifted in your seat, uneasy with the amount of power you realized you had.

"I see." 

"If we do go further, I'd like to implement a few rules. How does that sound?" 

"Rules?" You tilted your head. You liked rules and systems. Even as a coat check girl, you were known for your orderly approach to things. 

"Yes, if you decide that's something you want to explore, we'll talk then. But no need to worry about it until you're ready."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about doing more," you said bashfully, though it was a lie. You'd planned to simply move Tommy's hand under your skirt and have him put you out of your misery.

"Come here, y/n."

Tommy brought you to sit on his lap. His hand caressed your thigh, and the other was around your waist. Your arms wrapped around him as your reveled in the feeling of safety.

"Alright, Mr. Shelby, what are they?" 

"I'm going to tell you them, and you need to remember the order, alright?" He asked, and you nodded, only to have him tsk you. "Ah, love, when I ask you a question, I want to hear your voice. I want to make sure you're sure. That's rule number one: everything we do requires a verbal agreement. Try it now." 

"Oh, then, yes. I'll remember the order, Tommy." 

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile softly. "Rule number two is that you can't cum until I tell you, alright sweetheart?" 

"Tommy!" You jolted in surprise. You didn't know what you thought he was going to say, but that was not it. He chuckled at your reaction and squeezed your waist. He would have stopped if you asked, but for now, he was well aware that you were already starting to squirm in his lap. His sweetheart liked being a little flustered, didn't you? 

"Rule number three is that I am in charge of your body. I have full access to it, and you, love," Tommy reached up and tilted your chin so he could give you a saccharine kiss, "you may not touch yourself unless I say." 

The mix of salacious words and tender caresses sent waves of desire straight to the apex of your thighs. Could Tommy tell that you'd been doing just that? 

"Rule four is that you have to tell me when you don't like something. You do that so well already, and I'm proud of you for that."

"T-thank you," you murmured. You couldn't help but bite your lip. Such simple words of praise were sending you into a mild frenzy. 

"When you want me to stop, just say 'no more, I'm satisfied.' Can you do that?" He asked you, and you nodded. This time, however, you quickly remembered what Tommy told you before. 

"Yes. No more. I'm satisfied," you repeated the phrase while wondering when you'd use it.

"You can say that for anything at all. If you're uncomfortable, or even just a little too tired."

"Okay."

You nodded in agreement, though you couldn't help be feel nervous. After weeks of nothing more than a mild groping hand, Tommy was proving to be this person? But maybe it was the way that you couldn't stop yourself from squirming, trying to press your legs together for some type of friction that made you equally excited. Tommy kissed you again and held your chin. 

"Sweetheart, I promise that I'll use these to make you feel really good. I hope you can trust me, and I trust you to use that voice of yours and tell me when you don't like something, yes?"

"Yes." 

"Do you agree then? Do those rules sound good to you?" He asked you directly.

"Yes," you nodded, then softly adjusted. Something in you made you want to add, "Yes, Sir." 

Tommy squeezed your thigh, and you looked to his eyes to see a burning fierceness in them. He really enjoyed that. It was nice knowing he wasn't embarrassing you. You were in this together.

"Good girl."

[skamamoroma]

I Promised You The Moon - Episode 1 Thoughts - aka did John Hughes direct this and not tell us?

Oh I had to wait so long today to see episode 1 as I was working but I am so very happy I waited till I was in bed and with a cup of tea... which I then cried into four times. So that’s where I’m at. This is going to be long, I’m not even sorry in the slightest!

For ITSAY, I made so many posts about this show and how moving and beautiful it was, how the symbolism and writing was exceptional, how the music was absolutely incredible and how much I adored BK and PP’s chemistry. P’Boss’ work is special and the feel of Part 1 was a delicious kind of awkward, indie movie full of metaphors, fraught pain and emotion and pretty breathtaking storytelling of love and growth. I fell absolutely in love with Teh and Oh and their story, obsessed with Teh as a character (as I see a lot of myself in him and I love when he spirals) and I just felt utterly moved by the whole show. So I never needed Part 2. Part 1, for me, is perfect. And I certainly didn’t expect to love Part 2 as much or feel as much emotion because I just thought it wouldn’t be possible especially with a change of director and city and storyline... but I genuinely think that was a good idea after seeing Episode 1.

I just finished it and I’m kinda tear stained and the first thing I couldn’t get out of my head was just how much it reminds me of the late dear John Hughes movies from the 80s. Those of you who are a little old like me born right at the beginning of the 90s, will have been brought up on those movies filled with 80s synth music, stories of growing up, artsy camera work and filled with colour and emotion. Those movies are some of my all time favourites and I absolutely felt their influence on Episode 1 and maybe the rest of the season, I don’t know! I really wonder if P’Meen used them or was aware, hahaha. Anyway...!

But first off, I cannot, and I mean CANNOT handle the music. Part 1 really did floor me with the use of the score and how it was such a huge part of the reason it was so beautiful. Phuket Dreams has me in tears about 3 notes in... so cue me crying at the remixes of the old score with 80s synth sounds and almost Dream Pop echoy sounds. That right there is my jam, my absolute favourite music and the way IPYTM is so clearly going to be full of it makes my heart very happy. Especially those last scenes with Oh, that sweeping 80s style music taking him from heartbroken pain to dancing to forget had John Hughes all over it and just felt so impactful. So I will bang on every week about the music I’m sure.

As for the beginning and the casual buying of condoms (yesssss god damn Nadao, thank you for safe sex lessons for LGBT+ youth and a nod to actual sexual expression, I’m mega proud) leading into the way Hoon and Suri were involved (they didn’t give me Tuty 😭) in transferring Teh, it felt like such a gorgeous transfer from ITSAY vibes to IPYTM... watching Teh’s mamma so proud, Hoon watching over him as always and then gently leading into the first moment that made me cry...

How dare they put a remix of the old score over Teh being told by his mamma that she accepts him as he is so casually and softly, in a way that not only lets Teh know he’s loved but welcomes Oh as someone she cares about deeply and is happy being someone her son loves. It was beautifully done and I couldn’t help but think of Teh’s teary face on the Cape at the end of Episode 5 and thinking how proud I am of him. The way Hoon stroked his hair - help.

Teh. Now I made no secret of the fact that I loved every moment of watching Teh go through it in Part 1, how his very physicality and struggle played out especially him writhing all over his rug! But we had to see him grow. He isn’t the same boy he was but he still feels like Teh, just a little more comfortable, a little more mature in some ways and just READY for life. He feels tentative but also prepared to grow more and I just adore him. Oh, on the other hand, the one who was much more secure in himself in terms of his self and sexuality in Part 1 is now absolutely thrown into the unknown and isn’t handling it well.

Oh was established so beautifully as a Phuket boy. His name is rooted in his home, he lives in shorts and by the sea, he’s shaped by that place and what it means to him... his signature scent is coconut! He literally embodies Phuket... so it doesn’t in any way surprise me that we are watching him flounder and feel lost. It feels so human and so many moments felt so moving. When he told Teh that the best part of his day was seeing him, when he imagined the waves on his mind, when he listened to his mamma talk about the coastal weather... it’s hardly surprising that he cried as he was asked to explain his name. That was the second moment that got me. I was a wreck. Watching him break down and fall to pieces infront of total strangers just because he was recounting the meaning of his name, the foundation of who he is, the thing he misses to very much... he doesn’t fit, he doesn’t feel at home and he didn’t feel himself. It was beautifully done, for me. I caught my breath the second he started crying because it was so utterly human and raw. I have felt the way he does and recognised every second on his face. PP has come so so far with his acting.

Then we get the mention of Yongjian. NOW SOMEONE TELL ME IS THAT TEH AS YONGJIAN IN THE TITLES? If so, how dare they spoil it?! I am going to weep uncontrollably if Teh gets his dream. But the way Teh spoke of their future, the way he tried to recreate their past with Yongjian’s speech. Their entire history as friends and boyfriends is rooted in that story, that character, the idea of being Male protagonists... and Teh is so sure of their future. Also, you cannot also avoid the meta of it all with BK and PP. That moment and their words felt so personal to them too and their own real lives!

Do not even start with how their first kiss in Phuket was underwater and arguably their first kiss in Bangkok is the same albeit in public. DO NOT LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH.

The issue is that, Part 1 set out for us how they ended up where they are. Oh fell into acting, it was never his dream from the start. Then it all became a fight, a thing to win from his rival and in the end a thing to prove. We haven’t really ever see Oh show a passion for the stage and acting, not really. He worked so hard to get his place in Uni but there’s so much irony at play. Their entire story of rivalry has actually caused this current situation. Oh “won” the coveted Uni spot (helped in part by Teh) and Teh “lost” and was making do. But we see how that’s not how life goes. Oh never really felt he knew what he wanted and so he just ploughed on. He’s now in a situation where he has to start deciding, has to be his own person and he’s just... lost. I can’t wait to see him find it whatever it may be! The difference with Teh is that he may not have got his number 1 desire but his passion is ENOUGH. He loves what he’s doing and that moment where Khim (is that her name, I forget now, it’s so late, but Goy’s character) was explaining the lights was gorgeous. Teh’s passion was ignited, you could see that “oh wow” moment... and you can see the difference in how they’re going to progress, Teh didn’t need the top Uni because his passion can carry him and will help him succeed whereas Oh doesn’t know what his passion is and perhaps he’s where he is for the wrong reasons after all. The story telling is lovely to me, if completely heartbreaking.

The tears came again at “but I’ve already given so much of our time to other people”. Oh the tears. The boat scene from ITSAY is my favourite scene of the show and that line is one of the most beautiful bits of writing I’ve encountered for a long while... and to see Teh use it and remember it and effectively set out the issue they’re facing was heartbreaking. They made that promise on the boat and they’re breaking it. Oh-aew is trying to be what he thinks Teh needs and Teh is wide eyed and filled with this new world and getting to indulge his passions. They’re both so human and both trying the best way they know but they’re so young and so unsure and have so little life experience that they don’t know how to be adults or how to manage all of this stuff. They know they care and love and are each other’s person but they have such a lot to learn.

So the introduction of Q and the boys... and let me say they’re glorious... feels both beautiful and tragic because they look like they will be accepting and also potentially LGBT+ themselves or maybe Q (I see your gorgeous painted nails, sweetheart and the way you didn’t question Oh saying “partner” for a second)... but also they’re what Oh is using to fill the time he promised to Teh. It’s not Oh’s fault. He deserves friendship and a world of his own too but he was relying so much on the familiarity of Teh and Teh’s presence to keep him grounded and comfortable but he can’t do that all the time. He is trying so hard to be good and thoughtful and kind that he’s not telling Teh the truth. He’s doing what he said he wouldn’t do on the boat, but we can’t blame him in the slightest, he’s the sweetest boy.

I have so much to say but I guess that’ll do for now. I really loved the episode. Yes, it’s different but I think I realise now why it needed to be. In a way I’m kinda of happy about it because ITSAY stays sacred!!!! It stays as that beautifully fraught and emotional indie movie of my heart filled with metaphorical depth. It can’t be touched as far as I’m concerned but with IPYTM it feels just as moving, just as emotional, just as impactful but in a different way that reflects maturity. I don’t think it would have worked if it still felt fraught and characterised by ITSAY vibes. They’re not kids, they’re not insecure about who they are anymore in terms of their sexuality and they are moving into adulthood.

I know it’s going to break me. Episode 1 had me genuinely crying into my tea but I also know that it had the potential for its own special brand of symbolism and meaning. We can already see some special moments which seemed to be saying way more than the words themselves like the speech on light and how we see things and the way Oh even used it himself to see a different perspective at the end. That felt really very meaningful. They’re going to need to be able to see different view points as they navigate what will probably be a shit ton of pain! They will need to adjust to the light, to their circumstances to be able to survive and for their bond to be what is important without allowing other stuff to pass into their line of sight. Oh saw nothing. Empty stage, no Teh, not even himself... he opened his eyes too soon. He needs to learn to adjust and learn how to see the world and his place in it so that when he opens his eyes he sees what he desires and has worked for and made for himself rather than emptiness.

The last thing for me is the chemistry. What more can you say other than they’re perfect? They have the most natural, enigmatic, intense and sweet chemistry. They work so beautifully together. They sell even the smallest of moments and they absolutely destroy with emotion. I just feel every second of Teh and Oh’s emotion and that is such a damn skill. Their talent, man.

So I loved it. I am going to be dreaming tearstained in 80s synth music tonight! I can’t wait for the rest to emotionally destroy me a little more.

[ronalddear]

Experiment.

hey! this is a little one-shot into some DH tent angst (really doesn't get better than that) this is my first time writing any fanfiction at all so bear in mind that this is very armature.

I've been thinking about this idea for a couple months now and it's officially my headcannon replacement for the Harry-Hermione dance scene in DH, which i'm not the biggest fan of. I've already rambled on a bit but please feel free to reblog and comment your opinions and possible improvements!

The ground was inexplicably hard where Ron stood, the canvas tent behind him violently thrashing through the harsh night wind. Perhaps his thin shoes were wearing out after years of being hand-me downs, or months of endless use while they aimlessly trudged around Britain.

Ron knew though, that he was just tired. He didn't know how his shoulders managed to sag with exhaustion while remaining tense in discomfort but that's how he's been since he woke up in that god-forsaken tent.

He checked and re-enforced the wards, something that he was insanely adamant about after returning, paranoia finally setting in. It was constant at this point, hunger had become somewhat familiar and his fingertips were always a faint purple.

Not that he was complaining, he had Harry and Hermione within arms and ears reach now and he could not possibly ask for anything more.

"Ron! Dinner!", Harry's voice rang through his ears, disrupting his thoughts.

Shit. He had done it. He wasn't aware how long he had been wallowing outside and he was sure the porridge he had taken his time making for the three of them had overcooked on the stove.

He could picture Hermione's look of disdain clearly and cursed himself, not wanting her to get more mad at him but also acknowledging how he had wasted their already near non-existent supply of food.

"Merlin, I'm sorry! I'll try and find something else to-" he began with pace and halted halfway through.

Harry stood expectantly in the tiny living room area in front of Hermione who was neatly sat on their tiny couch. Harry's hands were raised excitedly yet awkwardly in an 'L" shape gesturing towards the worn table where Hermione's books usually lived.

Except there was a small space cleared, and it was occupying a small plate which had about 4 stacks of bread, with jam doused in-between and on top, with the wand that he had given Harry stabbed in the middle, a tiny flame at its tip.

Bloody hell it was a birthday cake.

"My birthday already?" he mumbled, still in awe of the poorly presented but beautiful stack in front of him.

"Well-"

'It was yesterday, I checked the calendar this morning." Hermione cut Harry off shortly, her eyes shamefully anywhere but Ron.

"Oh" he said, wishing so desperately that she would just look at him.

"Come on then mate, make your wish, because I'm not bloody singing" Harry encouraged, his eyes shining fondly at Ron.

With a soft chuckle, he sat on the ground at the table, feeling Harry follow next to him. He blew out the 'candle' softly, not even thinking about his wish, there were simply too many.

Harry gave a low whoop and reached over Ron with a knife and fork and haphazardly cut the cake into thirds.

When Hermione's eyes finally reached his, because yes, he had not taken his eyes off her, his stomach gave a jolt and a small smile graced his lips. Her lips however were still set in the line that she had been giving him for the past couple weeks but her eyes were so gentle and loving, almost unwillingly so, as if she was trying so very hard to be mad. After Harry hurriedly plated their shares and they began eating, a small lump began forming in Ron's throat. He willed himself not to cry, it was just sodding jam soaked toast after all.

He looked up at his two best friends as they ate, observing as Harry scarfed down his portion and as Hermione ate slowly, taking sips of her weak tea in between, knowing it was far too sweet for her taste.

"Wish we could have given you a gift." she said so softly, that he had taken a few seconds to register that she said anything at all.

Her eyes were still on her plate.

"Don't need one", he murmured, hoping that he sounded earnest enough that it could translate how very thankful he was.

"Really?! You sure?", Harry said, and Ron swore for a second that it was eleven year old Harry speaking to him. It was evident that the boy was prone to sugar rushes, even if it was a tablespoon of old jam.

"I have all I need.", he said, voice steadier this time, flashing a grateful smile at him, which was returned.

"Really? Not even a special birthday snog Ron? Because if you want I'll do it again-"

"Harry I'm fine! Merlin's Beard!', Ron interrupted Harry's rushed teasing with loud laughter, Harry's roaring laugh following close behind.

"Wait what do you mean again?" Hermione chanced at Harry, her eyebrows furrowed inquisitively and mouth adorably agape.

Breaking their giggling fit, they both turned towards her , eyes widening at the exact same time. It was then Ron realized that there was soft music playing, presumably from the wireless that was on the table. Has it always been on?

'Nothing don't worry."

"Nothing!"

Harry had followed Ron with the most non-convincing 'nothing' he had ever heard. Sensing what was about to happen, he suddenly felt the strongest urge to slap Harry on the back of his head.

"No no, you said again" Hemione retaliated, her eyes wide as ever, it was the most lively Ron had seen her for months.

"It was once in fourth year!"

'Don't worry about it Hermione, it's fine."

Ron's head snapped toward Harry cursing the stupid sugar in the stupid jam that apparently made Harry, quite frankly, very stupid.

"Wait wait! what?!" Hermione was energetic now and had fully swiveled to face them both.

Realizing that he physically could not lie to Hermione straight to her face, he accepted his fate and both boys began rambling at the same time, Harry excitedly, Ron bracingly.

"Look after the Yule ball-"

"This is rather depressing actually-"

"Shut up Ron, you liked it."

"I don't recall saying I didn't-"

'Anyway, after the shit-show that was the ball, y'know, we wanted to see if-"

"Oh my god I can't believe we're actually- We said we wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Bit late now Ron, anyway, we wanted to-'

"To see if what?!" Hermione gaped at them both, she was clearly teasing now, after seeing Harry's frantic (and hand waving heavy) storytelling and Ron's hair to toe blush.

"Just experimenting-"

"Just for fun!" Harry interjected.

They turned towards each other, eyes wide and then proceeded to practically scream at Hermione.

"Just for fun!'

Just experimenting!"

Great. Now they've switched excuses.

Hermione burst into loud laughter, after much suppression. It was, by far, the most beautiful sound Ron had ever heard and he wished for it to never stop.

This unfortunately, did not halt his maroon blush or the clearly embarrassed look on his face, which made her laugh even more. The second he took a glance at Harry and their eyes met they erupted into an uncontrollable fit of giggles, Harry doubling over and Ron throwing his head back. Drunk on laughter perhaps, Harry leaned over to the wireless and increased the volume, a slow yet rhythmic song filled the small tent.

"Let's have a ball yeah? Like last time?' Harry said, eyebrows wiggling suggestively on the last part, causing Ron to start laughing again, completely red faced.

Hermione struggled to breathe giggling as she looked on at them clearly trying to ballroom dance and failing miserably. The form was so bad no one was sure who was leading at this point, Ron's shoulders much too stiff and Harry's hands much too loose around Ron's waist. They were jumping around madly in the tent laughing harder than ever. Hermione managed to tease once more through gasping breaths,

"Should I leave before you start snogging or-"

"Oh shut up you!", Harry exclaimed, accompanied by a rude hand gesture and Ron simply stared at her and grinned.

'Come join us then', Ron said, holding out his hand for her.

She pretended to think for a moment before getting up, the thin blanket around her laid forgotten on the couch. They rotated for a couple moments, Hermione taking turns in being spun by Harry and Ron, all three of them a giggling mess, their threadbare socks squeaking on the wood floors.

Ron and Harry began a much too rough slow dance once more and Hermione was lightly swaying on her own before standing behind Ron, wrapping her arms around his stomach and tiptoeing her furthest, her nose barely reaching his shoulder. Effectively sandwiched between the pair of them, Ron was thrashing widely in attempts to throw them all off balance, cheeks impossibly red. The lump that was in his throat earlier had developed into free flowing tears and sniffles and he didn't care to stop them.

It didn't bother him because he knew he saw Harry's watering eyes and wobbly smile and felt Hermione's soft sobs through her giggles.

It was definitely the sugar or perhaps the sheer sadness of it all but for a moment they were still children who didn't have any worries or wars to fight on their own. Hermione nuzzled into Ron's back, still giggling, and placed a shy but firm kiss on his jumper-clad shoulder. He reached behind him for her hand and gently pulled her to the front, now spinning both Harry and Hermione, his heart glowing with joy. He tugged her towards him and gave a soft, chaste kiss to her hairline. Now both giggling, they seized Harry and planted two very hard kisses on his cheeks from behind, startling him enough to let out a disgusted squeak and he roared with laughter as he wiped his face on his jacket.

It was insanely messy but it was perfect. So perfect that Ron didn't care that in the morning he would have to second guess if Hermione was even close to forgiving him or that Harry would brood all day about the Hallows and be distant from them both, a war on their shoulders. He was with the two people he loved the most and for that he was thankful.