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#please click source link to listen
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Episode 5:05 'Fallen Idols is now available to listen to on YouTube!
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Okay but in honour of Artistic Partisan being released on engstars, I'm going to be very self-indulgent and talk about how Hell Screen (source) coded it is. And yes I'm talking about Akutagawa Ryunosuke's short story about the (spoilers to come) painter obsessed with art and his beloved daughter who got sacrificed in all sorts of ways (then died) in order to inspire him to paint a scene of the Buddhist hell at the commission of his shady patron.
I mean, maybe it's just me but I think Artistic Partisan perfectly captures that line between obsessive creation and passionate artistry, flip flopping back and forth as the line "si vis artem, para bellum" (play on the latin "si vis parcem, para bellum" if you want art/peace, prepare for war) is chanted in the midst of it all. Like how could that not capture the artist's desire for eternity, longevity, beauty while also having the both threatening but invoking intense melody that gives it that edge of action and danger? It's so Hellscreen in the way that Hellscreen is a very bleak depiction of the battle that is art (with questionable beauty being produced but a definite masterpiece of expression regardless). Yes, the artist wants to live forever but, be warned, because the world of art is not one of peace. It is filled with blood and sacrifice and battles. Artistic Partisan is the warning song (but also a praise, almost, of art), Hellscreen is the story of the song ignored (but still proof of how war really does create art).
Just....man. They went hard on this one. If you want art, prepare for war indeed.
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matan4il · 3 months
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In today's edition of "The UN is complicit," we now have proof that this "respectable" organization has been sweeping under the rug a crucial report on the situation in Gaza.
On Jun 5 this year, headlines based on false statements from the UN released on that day were still being published, claiming that by mid Jul over 1 million people (about half the Gazan population) could be facing the highest level of starvation if the war continues. This was when we've been going through 8 months of war, in which the UN constantly made claims of imminent genocidal starvation, now, right now, truly, any moment now, if the war doesn't stop.
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Except, it turns out that on Jun 4 already (a day earlier than the UN's starvation claims were being made and published), the IPC (an organization made up of several NGOs and UN bodies) has had to admit that there is no reliable evidence of starvation in Gaza, or that its existence is even plausible. This is particularly significant because it was actually the IPC's own Mar 2024 report that many of the claims regarding starvation relied on!
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(please read the linked article if you can, it also links to researchers like Mark Zlochkin, quoting the findings of the Famine Review Committee, which are compelling in showing that there is no starvation in Gaza)
This means the UN has known for two weeks at this point (in an official capacity) that there is no starvation, but proceeded to ignore and even contradict its own people on this.
It means Israel has been slandered by false accusations of causing intentional starvation when there is no evidence that there even is one for EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS, it means that the "clearest piece of evidence" of the supposed genocide in Gaza has never been substantiated, it means every Israel supporter accused of being pro-genocide has been deeply wronged, it means every antisemitic abuse of a Jewish person attacked over the situation in Gaza has been based on an antisemitic libel, it means countless anti-Jewish crimes have been justified using a lie that the UN has been actively enabling for two weeks (if we only count the time they've known about this on an official level, but since the UN has 13,000 employees on the ground in Gaza, it surely knew even before the Jun 4 report)...
And I find it particularly gruesome that I found out about the IPC report on the same day I learnt a 12 years old Jewish girl in France was gang raped as an antisemitic hate crime. This is the second time a Jewish female has been raped in France due to antisemitic motivation in recent months, when during the first rape (that we know of) the rapist was clear about his anti-Israel motivation. And we all know where the inspiration came from, to rape women just because they're Jewish, and knowing they will be victims who will not be listened to, or worse, whose rape will be justified as "resistance"...
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IDK how anyone can have a conscience and not be bothered by this. All of it.
The UN is complicit.
The international NGOs are complicit.
The news sources that have not published the report are complicit.
The people who didn't believe rape reports from Oct 7 just because they came from Jews are complicit.
They all prove that Jews are NOT protected, or even just treated with basic human decency, as we should be.
My heart breaks for this girl. I wish I could do something for her, but there is nothing, except to scream here over this abhorrent injustice, and to beg people to raise their voice. Our sister's blood is calling out to us from the ground, and we CANNOT be silent.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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laurellynnleake · 1 year
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AIR QUALITY WARNING
Hey fellow Northeasterners on Turtle Island, aka the USA and Canada! Recent wildfires are spreading smoke and dangerous air conditions across New England. I only realized this because of social media, so I'm spreading the news further with maps for visuals. Things are officially UNHEALTHY so everyone needs to be careful, especially anyone with heart or lung conditions.
If you're in NY, MA, RI, CT, NJ, etc, please be careful!
Close your windows (consider sealing them if it's really bad)
Wear respirator masks (ex N95s) outside
Turn on air filters if you've got them
Use fans inside to keep cool and keep air moving
Check for air coming in around window AC units! You can probably still use your AC, but remember that their filters generally don't block smoke.
Remember, wildfire smoke doesn't just include burnt up trees but can include all kinds of hazardous materials, so the less outside air inside your house the better. If you've got any DIY Corsi-Rosenthal Boxes around for COVID-19 filtration, they excel at filtering out other dangerous particles too. Here's a diagram for making one, :
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Also, try to avoid strenuous activities (ex moving furniture, climbing lots of stairs, etc) and listen to your body's needs. If you need to lay down and do nothing for a while, go for it. Stay hydrated, especially if your throat is getting scratchy! If you've got asthma, make sure your meds are close by.
Take care of yourselves and each other out there!
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6/7/23 UPDATE:
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Thought I'd add more context and sources for people to look up their own areas! The above map shows the current outbreak of wildfires across the West Coast and Midwest, versus the huge plumes of smoke traveling across the north, middle, and east of the continent, including Mexico. Click the source link to explore the map yourself.
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IDs are in the alt text!
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I just. I don’t really want to keep talking about it, but I have to get these feelings out because the more I think about Somerton’s excuses video the angrier I get, ESPECIALLY given his insistence in the video that there isn’t a real community within LGBTQ spaces—specifically this quote; “We wanted it to be a channel where every queer person could feel welcomed... And we failed at that. That is something that, in hindsight, I think is impossible to create.”*
Because wow! Aren’t you the one who called Becky Albertalli, a bisexual woman, straight ?? Aren’t you the one who has consistently stolen queer and lgbtq people’s work as your own , profiting off of their labor and research and time? Aren’t you the one who sicced your fan base on smaller creators who noticed your plagiarism??? Aren’t YOU the one who LIED blatantly about lesbians “historically having it easier” than gay men ?? That LIED about Radclyffe Hall’s book being banned and destroyed???? What was it you said?? That she got to go on with “her merry little life”???
Fuck you. How dare you.
How dare you say there is no community, no safe space for all of us, when you have literally done NOTHING but maliciously and consistently stolen from, lied to, manipulated, and put down and bullied the community.
You have done nothing but try to break apart and put down your lgbtq siblings, so of course you believe that solidarity, safety, and intersectionality within our community is not something that can exist.
There are lgbtq people who are actively working to make those spaces, where everyone feels welcomed, but you clearly see yourself as being above that, above collaboration and community, above listening to other’s experiences.
You only think that a space where all queer and lgbtq people are welcomed and feel safe is impossible because your goal was never to carve out that space. It was to make money and take advantage of the people who looked up to you.
You think it’s impossible because you never once thought about the people you were stealing from, never once cared about the community, our history, the activism of our elders and all they did, never thought about how your actions and lies would hurt the community.
Stop making excuses and lying. Be fucking better.
———————————————————————
*(Somerton, James. “A Measured Response.” YouTube, uploaded by James Somerton, 26 February 2024, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kCNByQ6WopM)
(And that’s how you cite a FUCKING source, James. It took me a minute, after two seconds of research on how to source a YouTube video. Fuckhead)
*I added the link to the video to make a point, as you need to have it in citations. The video is monetized, so please either don’t click it and watch elsewhere OR watch with ad-blockers.
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votive-candle · 3 months
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🍉 GAZA FUNDS 🇵🇸
Click the link above to be sent to a randomised fundraiser for a Palestinian person or family in need. For access to all campaigns, see https://gazafunds.com/all
Do what you can, if you can. Fund a family - a meal, a shelter, an escape could mean not just a survival, but a future.
🍉 A GAZA LINKTREE 🇵🇸
For more information. Some of this info is very valuable.
Please feel free to dm or share any resources you think may be beneficial. I am doing my reading, and any and all sources to educate or advocate will be taken with gratitude.
End the genocide. End the apartheid. Free Palestine.
🇵🇸
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thefalloutwiki · 2 years
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Say hello to the new and independent Fallout Wiki!
Greetings to all of you lovely wastelanders, mutants and robots alike! We come bearing an important announcement, one which might even pique the curiosity of all you nosy prospectors out there.
We’d like to introduce you to the shiny and brand spanking new, Independent Fallout Wiki.
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Now, I know, you may be asking to yourself, “Wait, there’s already a Fallout Wiki out there! Why’s this one so dang special?” 
Well, if you’d bear with me for a moment, I’ll tell you why!
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What is the Independent Fallout Wiki?
Well, the Independent Fallout Wiki is just about as straightforward as it sounds! We all used to be members of another wiki dedicated to Fallout, which is hosted by a company that shall remain nameless. Now, if there’s one thing you should know about this company, it’s that they have very little regard for the community, introducing changes that no one likes, hosting tons of ads and even buying out wiki editors to work for them. We find this (among other things) to be antithetical to our beliefs. We feel that wikis should be in the hands of the community, not a company that refuses to listen to us!
This reached a breaking point earlier this year, along with some events out of our control, which led to the bright idea of forking into independence and starting a new wiki! A wiki that’s truly in the hands of the community. A wiki that is self-hosted and safe from harmful, corporate interests. We don’t have shareholders to please and we don’t answer to anyone. We don’t have ads and we don’t need them, hopefully ever. Content is created by fans, for fans
We are simply wanting to provide the most reliable and accurate source of all things Fallout. We’ve even broke bread with some of the other fantastic independent wikis out there, such as Doom Wiki and Combine Overwiki whom we recommend you check out too!
What kinds of new features are we offering?
We’re glad you asked! As well as offering a trove of accurate, well sourced content about the Fallout franchise (with strict guidelines to ensure the best possible content quality, as all wikis should), we’re offering a new Community space. This will be a place for the community to host all kinds of fan works, such as fanfiction, fan art, creations, roleplaying and tabletop games, pen and paper games, Fallout 76 player CAMPs and, much, much more.
As mentioned before, we have affiliated with many other independent wiki projects, including the Doom Wiki, Combine OverWiki, JoJo’s Bizarre Encyclopedia, StrategyWiki, Unofficial Elder Scrolls Pages, and even Halopedia! We’re also proud members of the Gaming Wiki Network, and soon, we’ll even be affiliated with NIWA, the Nintendo Independent Wiki Alliance. These affiliations will offer mutual aid and support that will help every wiki in the short-term and long-term. We are looking forward to working with them, for we all share the same goals!
How can we help and how can we be apart of the community?
We welcome anyone who wishes to join our community. It doesn’t matter if you’re an editor or reader. We are all fans of Fallout and we encourage you to join our community! If you are a non-editor and are only looking for information about something from the Fallout franchise, click this here link! https://fallout.wiki/wiki/Fallout_Wiki/
If you are interested in becoming an editor and want to fight the good fight to help rewrite content and smashing misinformation and head-canon, click this other here link! https://fallout.wiki/wiki/Special:UserLogin
While you’re there, check out our LGBTQ representation page. It was written by the lovely robot, C0NN1E here on Tumblr!: 
https://fallout.wiki/wiki/LGBTQ_representation_in_Fallout
We welcome all members of the LGBTQ+, MOGAI, GSRM, Plural and Otherkin communities with open arms!
Last, but not least, if you’d like to be apart of our wider social community, you can follow us here on Tumblr, on Twitter, check out our Instagram or join our Discord, right here below, right now! We even got a fresh, custom invite link!
https://discord.gg/falloutwiki
https://twitter.com/thefalloutwiki
https://www.instagram.com/thefalloutwiki/
Well, that about wraps up this little segment of ours. We hope you enjoy this project as much as we do. We put a lot of time, effort and care into it and we want to give back to the people that we love the most, the community. Have safe travels out there, and we hope to see you around!
END OF BROADCAST
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the-elias-bouchard · 8 months
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hello humanoids, sorry for not updating for a while adhd made me forget I had this blog.
Anyway since there is currently a global strike for Palestine happening I still will not be updating until after the 28th because I am participating in the social media boycott (and you should too)
Here's an information/how to card if you're interested:
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And I understand not everyone can donate, so here's an alternative! all you have to do is go on this website every 24 hours and click the orange button and the ad revenue from the website will go straight to help for Palestinians!
FREE PALESTINE!!!! -👽
INFORMATION UPDATE: I have found out the website I linked is run by the UN and they are not actually helping. They have sent toys that look like food to starving Palestinian children instead of actual food. Please look up charities to donate to directly like E-Sims for Gaza. LISTEN TO PALESTINIAN VOICES!!!
DOUBLE INFORMATION UPDATE: the daily click not working turned out to be a lie spread by zionists in a way to provent people helping Palestine. It does actually help. that's on me. RESEARCH SOURCES BEFORE SPREADING INFORMATION!!!!
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maraschinomerry · 6 months
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Little Pink Heart
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Pairings: Anthony Lockwood x fem!reader, implied Locklyle
Summary: following a fatal Ghost-Touch, Lockwood and reader must figure out how to manage love and life after death
Content: reader's death, ghost!reader, grief, angst, bittersweet, not a happy ending, established relationship
A/N: Please please be aware that this fic has some very heavy content, don't feel obliged to read if you could find it upsetting! That being said, this is as much about exploring the concept of Visitors' sentience that Jonathan Stroud introduced and building on what we saw with Annabel Ward as it is about the angst and the grief. This is dedicated to @bella-rose29 for mentioning the idea of ghost!reader and giving me inspiration (bonus angst: listen to Someone New by Freya Ridings while you read)
Word count: 4.9k (my longest fic yet!)
Taglist: @neewtmas @marinalor @ettadear @honey-with-tea (let me know if you want adding or removing!)
The click of the key echoed through the house as you opened the door. Dusk was falling, the fine mist that had settled tinted a soft blue. As much as you didn't want to go inside, you fancied staying out here less.
“Don't linger, darling,” your boyfriend, Anthony, murmured as he passed over the threshold. His hand slipped into yours and he led you in. The house was cold and dim in the fading light, and from the fine layer of dust and lack of personal effects it was clear that it hadn't been inhabited for some time. It was a shame that the owner, who had seemed like a nice enough young woman, had had to move out of her family home, but you couldn't help but be grateful. You and Anthony had only just got your licences, and with no links to any agencies nor desires to join them you'd decided to try and set up your own. That took time, though, and money, and though Anthony had a little equity in his house you'd agreed to take a couple of small, private cases to make up as much as you could. That was how you found yourself here, ready to earn a reasonable sum in exchange for eliminating a lone Type Two. A few jobs like this would help set you up nicely.
The kitchen was slightly warmer than the rest of the house, the west-facing windows having allowed in the last of the sun before it dipped behind the trees in the distance. Together you set up your kit bags on the table - you didn't have much: a few handmade salt bombs, filings and chains, a few flares only in case of emergency (they'd cost far too much to waste) and of course your rapiers. Lockwood pulled something extra from his bag, a small plastic-wrapped packet. Bourbon biscuits.
“You're the best,” you smiled as he opened the packet and offered one to you, which you bit into quickly.
“I know,” he grinned back, brushing a stray crumb from your lip. You blushed.
The owner of the house had provided a floor plan, but her account of the Visitor had been so inconsistent and vague that it was difficult to pinpoint a possible location for the Source. Anthony spread the roll of paper across the table, and you wrapped your arms around his waist, peering over his shoulder at the diagram. There were two floors and a basement, but the latter had been gutted a month ago ready for renovation so there was nothing in there at present.
“Let's start upstairs and work our way back down,” Anthony suggested. “More likely to find something in one of the bedrooms.”
“True, but it's a lot of wasted time if we don't. Why don't we split up and take a floor each?”
His expression soured, and he moved closer, taking your hand again and rubbing small anxious circles above your thumb. “That's smart, but I hate the idea of leaving you on your own.” Even when he didn't agree with your ideas, he always found a way to compliment them. Just one of the things that made you love him all the more.
You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It won't be for long, and I'll call for you the moment I find anything suspicious.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” You leant forward and placed your lips delicately on his. He held you close, your hands on his chest, one of his on your waist and the other fidgeting with your necklace. It was one he'd bought for you, a small pink gemstone in a heart shape on a simple silver chain. His promise to always love and protect you. Not a day had gone by since that you didn't wear it. He nodded at last; he knew he would, he'd do anything you asked of him in a heartbeat. It still worried him not to be by your side, but he trusted that you were a good agent who could handle yourself and that you meant it when you said you'd call for him. His only condition was that if the Source was more likely to be upstairs, that would be where he'd look.
So it was that you found yourself, torch in one hand and the other on your rapier, exploring the ground floor. The silence was oppressive, seeping the confidence from you with every step. Not a ticking clock, not the creaking of the old building settling, not even the residual hum of electricity or plumbing, just the occasional thud from your boyfriend upstairs. Working quickly, you ruled out the dining room and bathroom. That left the lounge. The air smelled musty, and a shiver ran through you as you entered. That was never a good sign. You pulled out your thermometer and watched the temperature drop the further in you went.
“Anthony?” Your voice felt deafening against the quiet of the room, but you knew it hadn't been anywhere near loud enough to travel upstairs. No, this was silly, you could handle this. There were no signs of a spirit yet, for all you knew the change in temperature could be from the wind blowing down the chimney into the empty fireplace. You flicked the torch off, using your now free hand to hold your necklace, grounding yourself as you tuned in and listened. There was nothing at first. You wondered whether Anthony was having more luck upstairs; so far down here had been thoroughly useless. Maybe you should go and check on him. But then you heard it. A tragic, gut-wrenching wail, getting closer.
“Anthony?” you called again, louder this time but as steady as you could. There was movement above. He'd heard. So had the spirit, the wailing definitely nearby now. You pulled out your rapier.
The temperature plummeted.
A screech, so close you would have felt the breath on your neck had it come from a living being, made you whirl round. Your rapier clattered to the floor. Shit. Stay calm.
“Anthony!” you yelled, not caring how scared you sounded. His footsteps rattled down the stairs. He was so close.
You lunged towards your rapier.
The Visitor lunged towards you.
Lockwood was in the back bedroom when he heard his name. All his senses were immediately on high alert - you were the only person he allowed to call him Anthony, so he always reacted differently to his first name anyway, and under the circumstances hearing it immediately made him fear the worst.
“Y/n?” He crept out onto the landing, slowly pulling out his rapier and listening intently for any more noise. It was moments like these he was grateful not to be a Listener, he could focus on you and not the sounds of the house's history. He was only two steps onto the staircase when his name came again, louder and more panicked. Without a second thought he ran down the stairs, only holding back enough to make sure he didn't fall. His blood ran cold when he heard you scream.
You tried to both duck and spin as your hand came into contact with the hilt of your rapier. The blade sliced upwards, connecting with the Visitor, but it was too late. Its clawing grey hand clutched onto your shoulder moments before it disappeared. You screamed as tendrils of ice shot through you, radiating outwards from the spot. Through the fog of pain that had suddenly engulfed your brain you heard Anthony, close by now, yelling your name. You had to go to him. He'd know what to do. Everything would be okay.
You took one step, then another. Your torso was going numb, your entire arm having already fallen victim to the plasm which was turning your shoulder a violent shade of blue. One more step, and your legs gave out. You just about made out the silhouette of your boyfriend in the doorway, rushing towards you as you slumped to the ground.
“No, no, no, y/n!” Anthony's face swam into view, trying to mask his utter horror for your sake. “It's going to be okay, darling, I'll go and get help.”
The fingers of your good hand twitched towards his and he took it immediately, despite how cold it was. You struggled to focus on him through your tears, and noticed the same in his eyes. “Ant-” Your voice was failing fast.
“Shh, I've got you.” He cradled your head, his own tears mingling with yours on your cheek, but you could barely feel them. Almost everything was numb. The blue had spread across your chest, and the little pink heart stood out starkly against it. “I'm so sorry, my darling,” Lockwood said softly. He choked back a sob as he leant down, placing a kiss into your hair. You wanted to do the same, to speak to him, to do anything.
His face was the last thing you saw before everything went black.
You had no idea how much time had passed when your vision returned, a room slowly materialising in front of your eyes. It was a bedroom, filled with knick-knacks and bathed in a warm golden light. It looked familiar, but you hadn't been here when it went dark, you'd been… somewhere else. It was so hard to remember, but you knew there had been a dark, dusty room and a feeling of agonising cold. And a person. There'd been someone there, someone you needed to say something to. Now here you were, everything feeling so normal yet so bizarre; you were still you, still able to move and see and hear, but there was a disconnect between those sensations and reality. Nothing felt real. You looked around again, desperate for answers.
There.
Perched on the edge of the bed was a boy. His crisp white shirt was a stark contrast to his dishevelled dark hair, doleful brown eyes and the deep eyebags beneath. He looked exhausted, like he'd barely slept or eaten. There was something in his hand, balanced carefully on the tips of his fingers: a necklace, with a little pink heart. A spark of recognition bloomed in the back of your mind. That was your necklace. It was important. He had no right to be holding it. You drifted forward. The boy looked so familiar. Oh. The icy feeling rippled through your chest again, and you remembered. He'd been there when that feeling had taken over your body until you couldn't feel anything else. Rage boiled in your veins, and a snarl crept onto your face. But then, as quickly as it started, the anger subsided. He'd not caused it. He'd held you so gently, cried as everything faded. You knew him. You opened your mouth, finally ready to speak.
Lockwood stared at the tiny gemstone in his hand, unsure whether he wanted anything to happen this time. He'd secretly slipped it from you before DEPRAC had arrived, and spent the past few weeks periodically taking it out of the little silver-glass box in his bedside table. Part of him desperately wanted you to come back, to let him see you once more, but the other part knew it would hurt so much. What if you didn't recognise him and turned violent like so many Visitors? What if you didn't because you didn't recognise anything, just hung there as a shadow of your former self? What if you did, and he had to live with putting you back in the case and removing you from his life all over again?
The decision was made for him when a soft golden glow appeared in the corner of his bedroom. There you were. Tears welled in his eyes as the image of you sent him spiralling back to that day: your edges were a little fuzzy but everything else was the same, from your outfit to the scared look in your eye to the dark patch spreading from your shoulder. You looked at him now and he was relieved to watch you processing your surroundings. The person he knew was still in there, you weren't just a hollow shell. Suddenly you snarled and he flinched, fingers twitching towards the silver-glass case.
You moved closer.
You stopped.
Your face fell.
He watched the glimmer of recognition in your eyes, and the tears he'd been holding back spilled out along with all the things he'd wanted to say for months.
“Oh my darling, I'm so sorry. I should never have let this happen, I should have been there for you, and-”
He paused. You were mouthing something. Over and over. Your death loop, he presumed. God, just putting death in the same sentence as you stung.
“I'd give anything to be able to hear you right now,” he said, voice wavering. You stopped, giving him a sad look. The realisation that at the very least you could understand him, even if you couldn't communicate fully, hit him like a ton of bricks.
“Lockwood!” a boy's voice called from outside. You both looked at the door and your anger flared again. The boy on the bed shook his head.
“He's a friend,” he told you reassuringly, before calling back, “One minute, George!” You waited in the corner, puzzled. The boy, Lockwood (you knew that name, didn't you?), gave you an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, y/n, I've got to go. I'll explain soon, I promise.” He dropped the necklace into its little case and clicked it shut, and you watched the world dissolve.
You still weren't sure how much time had passed when you found yourself back in that bedroom, but it didn't feel like very long. The last rays of the sunset poked through the gaps around the drawn curtains, the room lit instead by a lamp on the bedside table. The boy, Lockwood, was sitting on the bed again holding your necklace, but this time he looked at you almost immediately. His hair was a little neater, his eyebags more pronounced.
“Hi,” he said quietly. “Sorry if I disturbed you, I don't… really know how this works.”
You knew he couldn't hear you, but you gave your message again anyway.
“Maybe I should see if George knows how to lip-read,” he chuckled wryly. The sound reminded you of home, wherever that was. Things were still hazy, but part of you had a feeling this was it. Here, with this boy. “Which reminds me,” he continued, “I did promise to tell you about him.”
You settled into the space in the corner, allowing Lockwood's low, gentle voice to wash over you. It was incredibly calming. George was his new housemate, he told you, who'd been living here for about a month. It was all very confusing - it had felt like both minutes and years had passed since you were last here and the same before that, but he explained that the other boy had moved into the house in mid-September, and the last time you'd been here was a week ago in late October. Where was all the time going?
“I have no idea whether you experience time when your Source is contained, whether you're aware of what's going on in between or remember things from last time,” he admitted. Source. You knew about those. They were what you'd been looking for that night in that dark old house. A spirit had been tied to it, and you had to seal the Source to get rid of it. But you'd failed and it had found you, and now… your chest tightened at both the memory and the realisation. Nothing felt real because you weren't. You were just a Visitor. You continued to listen numbly as Lockwood kept talking. Not much wonder he'd recoiled when you first appeared, he'd seen what the touch of a ghost had done to you and without knowing you'd almost inflicted the same fate. You vowed in that moment that no matter what, you'd never let that happen.
The next few months saw Lockwood getting you out every chance he got. Bit by bit, he helped restore your memories and did his best to accommodate you even though the two of you couldn't properly communicate. He set up a little daily tear-off calendar on his dresser so you could keep track of how long it had been between visits, and stored his kit bag in the bottom of his wardrobe so you could move more freely around the room. Eventually, you'd come to remember him more. Not just the events from the night you died, but him. Your boyfriend, Anthony. You wanted nothing more than to be close to him, to be a comforting presence, but you knew you couldn't. Not only because you couldn't touch, but because deep down you knew that as much as you treasured being able to keep him in your life (or rather, afterlife), you had to let him go sooner or later and he needed to do the same with you. He'd been followed around by grief since long before you met him, and you hated that you were adding to it. You were just glad to see him slowly improving week by week - his face was a little brighter, and it seemed George was making sure he stayed fed. You'd have to thank the other boy if you ever got chance. Anthony said the two of you would have got along if you'd met in life, and even now George's obsession with the Problem would have made him your biggest fan, but their friendship was too new and besides he wasn't a Listener either so you'd not be able to tell him anything.
“I've got something to show you,” Anthony announced as you materialised one sunny day in late spring. He sat down with a large pink folder and patted the space next to him on the bed. You tilted your head in confusion.
“Come on,” he sighed fondly, “you never had any sense of personal space before, don't start now. Just no hugging.”
You glowed a little brighter and drifted over, your legs disappearing into the mattress until your torso was level with his. Being careful where he positioned his arms, he angled the folder towards you. It was a photo album, labelled in handwriting you recognised as your own. Page by page, he took you through your memories, giving you time to linger on each one: you as a baby, then a toothy toddler with your first pet; your family and childhood friends; Polaroids of your first team in training to become agents. His hands trembled a little as he reached the next section. On the left were four photos: the team you'd transferred to, the one he'd been training with; a slightly blurry action shot of the two of you sparring for the first time; a goofy photo he'd taken of you cartwheeling down a grassy hill after a case; your team all proudly holding their Grade Four licences. On the other side, surrounded by two styles of hand-drawn hearts, was the two of you hugging on the steps of 35 Portland Row, Anthony's lips pressed in a smile against the top of your head. You remembered that sensation well, a frequent occurrence right up until the moment you died. The rest of the album was full of photos of the two of you, ones taken by others and candids you'd snapped of each other. You felt a pang of regret that you'd never get to take any more.
Anthony turned another page. Hold on. You knew for certain there were no more photos. You looked sideways at your boyfriend, and he gave you a bashful smile. Pasted across a double spread was a copy of a certificate from DEPRAC, confirming A.J. Lockwood & Co Investigators as a registered agency. Inspector Barnes, who you vaguely recalled meeting once or twice, had signed as the licensing authority. Anthony and George had put their names down as the founding members. But then underneath that, in Anthony's familiar hand, he had added an extra section. Honorary Member: y/n y/l/n.
He looked at you so lovingly. “We did it, darling.”
You would have reached for his hand if you could.
Weeks began to pass before Lockwood got you to visit again. He'd have spent every day with you, but business was good and he owed it to you to make a proper go of it. In the meantime, George talked incessantly about Visitors which gave Lockwood a chance to think about you. Each time he finally got to see you again he'd apologise profusely, and you'd repeat your death loop back to him. He tried so hard to figure out what you were saying - his Sight was good, you were as clear as day and he knew your every quirk and mannerism, but he just couldn't put the movements of your lips to the right sounds.
Everything changed the day he met Lucy Carlyle. From the moment she set foot in his living room, he felt like he was supposed to have met her. The feeling only grew when he gave her the interview tests - plenty of people had passed through, some with better Talents than others, but none had come even close to the Listening abilities of the girl before him. When she spoke of the gentleness she found in his uncle's pen-knife, he knew he had to hire her.
Lucy managed to defy even his high expectations on the Annabel Ward case. He kept his focus on the young woman's spirit hovering at the end of the corridor, rapier levelled in case the details of her aggressive nature were true, but he couldn't help but think of the first day he brought you back and how quickly you'd retreated and shown a level of sentience he'd never expected from a Visitor. Was this poor woman the same? Lucy's eyes were closed, listening intently.
“She's in pain,” she said softly.
“Of course she is, she's dead.”
“No, something's different.”
He was intrigued instantly. “What's different?”
She shushed him. “I can almost…”
Annabel launched forward, sending Lucy crashing through the wooden railing in her attempt to dodge the grasping hand. Déjà vu overwhelmed Lockwood, your pained eyes flashing across his mind as he staggered backwards.
No.
He'd already lived through this once and regretted the outcome every day since. Now was his chance to redeem himself. He sprang towards the ghost, fending her off with his rapier, pulling Lucy from her desperate grip on the picture frame as soon as the coast was clear.
“Did it touch you?” he asked in a panic as she clung to him.
“Course not, I'd be dead.” Didn't he know it. The more she explained how she'd connected with the spirit, the more sure he became. Later, when they experimented with Annabel's necklace and he listened to Lucy describe the scene in such detail, he knew for certain.
“He loves me. You love me, don't you?” Her hand stroked delicately across his cheek, and he fought the urge to lean into the touch. For that brief moment, he could pretend it was you, still with him, saying those words. Perhaps with Lucy's help, it could be.
It had been a while. The trees outside Anthony's window were tinted a beautiful copper. You couldn't wait to hear his updates this time.
“There's a sadness, but so much love too. She feels very kind.” That wasn't Anthony's voice. Something was wrong. There was a girl sitting beside him on the bed, holding a little pink heart on a chain. Your necklace. You grew defensive, preparing to strike.
The boy looked up and saw you glaring. “It's okay, darling.” The girl followed his gaze. “Lucy, this is y/n, my late girlfriend. Y/n, this is our new associate, Lucy. She's a Listener.” Ah. Finally. You settled back down and took in the girl properly. She was pretty, with a warm brunette bob and a blue jumper which made her eyes pop. She smiled up at you, a genuine friendly smile.
“Nice to meet you,” she said sweetly. Anthony gave her an encouraging nod. You noticed that he seemed a little nervous, but there was also a calmness to him that had been missing for the past year. If that was Lucy's influence, then she was alright in your eyes.
Anthony spoke to you again. “She's brilliant, connected with a Visitor on our last case and I thought maybe she could finally help us figure out what you've been trying to say.” You nodded in agreement, and the girl closed her hand around the necklace.
You weren't sure whether you were in Lucy's head or whether she was in yours. The two of you blended into one as she ventured into your memories. Anthony's room melted away around you, sending you back to that cold dark room. You bristled.
“It's a bit different having her in the room with us,” Lucy murmured, eyes closed. “Let me know if either of you need me to stop.”
Anthony glanced at you, flickering slightly but still present and unagitated. “We're okay, go on.”
Meticulously, she described what you were both experiencing, or in your case reliving. It was hard knowing you were getting closer to the agony all over again, but it was important for your boyfriend to finally have a chance for answers and closure, so you kept the inevitable moving along.
“Anthony?” Lucy said softly, the same way you had. By the look on his face, it seemed he was realising now what you had at the time - that you'd tried to call him and hadn't been loud enough, that if only you'd tried again straight away, maybe you'd still be alive. “Anthony?” she called again. “Anthony!” You heard your own scream echo in your mind, felt the cold grasping your shoulder. The boy reached out and gripped Lucy's free hand, never taking his eyes off you. The gesture was supportive for her, but meant for you too. A tear rolled down his cheek. Lucy's breathing was shallow.
“It hurts,” she gasped, “and she's scared.”
“I should have been there quicker.” His voice was shaking with emotion, barely able to get the words out.
“No, there's no anger. She knew you were coming, and having you there through the end was a comfort.”
Anthony swallowed thickly. “Her death loop. Can you hear it?”
She opened her eyes and watched you as you spoke, the words spilling from her lips a second after.
“It's okay. It's not your fault.”
The boy broke down, his sobs rattling through the small room. Lucy held out her arms and he folded into them. She threw you an apologetic glance, and you said it again to her. “It's okay. It's not your fault.”
They were still hugging when, with his and your permission, Lucy gently slipped your necklace back into its case.
Now that the secret was out, you really did become an honorary member of the agency. Sure, you couldn't exactly contribute to the cases, but other than that the whole team treated you as one of their own. Anthony always waited for your opinion on big decisions, which you could make quite apparent with how happy or angry your energy was. George was absolutely fascinated by you, and took every opportunity to quiz the others on your awareness of various things and how you reacted to his experiments. Lucy often got you out on her own to have another girl to talk to. In return, of course, she'd fill you in on any gossip they came across or funny things that happened on cases that the boys were too embarrassed to tell you about. Through it all, you watched the three of them grow into a little family. Anthony and Lucy especially had clicked with each other; they reminded you of how you and he had been. That realisation filled you with a mixture of relief and melancholy. You loved Anthony so much, all you wanted was for him to be happy, but you'd be lying if you didn't wish it was you putting the light back in his eyes.
He sat you down shortly after New Year. His face was sombre but hopeful, and he fidgeted with his ring. Part of you could already tell what was coming.
“I don't really know how to say this,” he began hesitantly, “but after everything we've been through, you deserve to hear it.” You waited patiently for him to find the words he needed. Really, you had all the time in the world.
After a few moments, he spoke again. “I promised to always love you, and I will still keep that promise until the day I die…” But. There had to be a but. “...but I really care about Lucy too, and I just-” He didn't need to finish the sentence. And technically he was single. And he stood a chance of having a life with her. And she wasn't going to keep him tied to his past and his grief.
“It's okay.” Now he knew what your death loop was, he could tell what you'd said, and the way you'd limited it to just those words was a reminder of how remarkably well you understood everything that was happening. How you were as close to being a person as you could be, how it wasn't close enough.
“Promise?”
You touched the hollow of your neck, where the outline of a little sparkling heart sat against the darkness.
He nodded in understanding and reached for the silver-glass case. “Thank you, darling.”
“It's okay.”
It's not your fault.
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willalove75 · 1 year
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Alcina's New Maid Pt. 19 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader
Summary: In the aftermath of the meeting Alcina is feeling guilty and you try and ease her pain.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI.
Tags: Some angst, some fluff
Notes: Part 19! I know things have been HELLA angsty lately but I promise the next few chapters I have planned will be fun and fluffy and perhaps even a little bit smutty😏💕 We'll be putting all of that angst to bed for a bit!
A/N: If you picked up the mildly obscure Toy Story reference, I love you hahah I'll link the reference at the end for those who missed it!
Click here for the rest of the series
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Alcina's tears slowed and eventually stopped flowing. When she felt your fingers in her hair still and heard your breaths even out she relaxed a little knowing you were asleep. She stayed there for a little longer, with her head resting on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as you slept. The steady beat of your heart and your gentle breaths relaxed her as the guilt ate away at her.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she finally lifted her head from your chest and your fingers slid out of her ebony curls and onto the bed next to you. Removing the gauze that was on your neck wound, she winced when she looked at it again. The bleeding had stopped for the most part, only trickles of blood still flowing from it. You definitely needed stitches. The longer Alcina looked at the wound the more her hands trembled - she would never be able to stitch you up like this. She tried her best to keep her hands steady but the harder she tried, the more they trembled and the more frustrated she became.
A knock on the door pulled her attention away from her hands and your neck.
"Mother?" Bela said as she opened the door.
"Yes?"
"Aunt Donna, Angie and Uncle Heisenberg are here for you."
Alcina grumbles and brings her fingers to the bridge of her nose.
"Alright, I'll be there in a moment."
"Do you need help with anything?"
Alcina pulls the fresh gauze away again to confirm you're still bleeding. Sighing in defeat, she turns to her daughter.
"Can you take over and continue to apply pressure to her neck?"
"Is she okay?" Bela asks, walking closer to the bed.
"Yes, she's asleep. Please try and not wake her. I am going to freshen myself up before going downstairs."
Bela sits on the edge of the bed and holds the gauze against your neck as Alcina makes her way into the bathroom. After a few minutes Alcina comes out in a new, clean dress. Her hair is fixed and her makeup is flawless. If Bela didn't see her mother so upset herself she never would have thought that she had been crying so hard. All evidence of her breakdown has been erased.
"I shall be back in a little while with Donna. She is going to need stitches and I am going to have Donna do it while she's here. If anything changes, do not hesitate to come get me."
"Yes mother."
Alcina ducks out of the door and Bela hears her footsteps getting further and further away.
Less than five minutes later Daniela appears in the bedroom next to Bela.
"How is she?" Daniela asks with worry in her eyes.
"She's okay. She's asleep so don't wake her Dani - Dani!" Bela hisses as Daniela crawls onto the bed and lays down next to you.
"Shh! And you're worried about me waking her up!" Daniela whispers which elicits an eye roll from Bela. "How's her neck?"
Bela removes the gauze and examines it before applying pressure to it again.
"It's still bleeding a little, she's definitely going to need stitches. Mom said she's going to have Donna do it before she leaves. But it's going to leave a nasty scar."
"Do you think mom will put the healing salve on it?"
"No, she only used it last time out of desperation. Mother doesn't want to expose her to the mold unless she absolutely has to."
"I guess that makes sense."
"Where's Cass? Still in the dungeon?"
"Yeah, she's been throwing things around in there all day. I think she even took a maid who had been misbehaving down there."
"Yikes."
Daniela's eyes wander over your sleeping figure, the bandages on your chest, the dried blood caked to your skin, the wound Bela was covering. She pouts and lays her head on the pillow next to you, gently moving your hair out of your face as you slept.
Alcina makes her way downstairs into one of the sitting rooms. As soon as she ducks through the door she sees her hat floating across the floor.
"Look I'm the dragon lady!" Angie's voice screeches from underneath the hat. "Roar! I'm so big and scary! Fear me!"
"Give me that." Alcina says, swiping the hat from Angie's head.
"Ugh, you're such a buzzkill, Godzilla!"
Alcina growls at Angie who runs towards Donna and climbs into her lap. She dusts off her hat and places it on one of the tables.
"How's the kid?" Karl says.
"Alive, no thanks to you." She snaps.
"What the fuck? Why the fuck is this shit my fault?!"
"You said you would protect her! Both of you said you would protect her and you did nothing!" Alcina yells.
"We were waiting for you to fucking do something you gigantic psychopath!"
"What was I supposed to do?! If I made another move Miranda would have killed her on the spot! There was nothing I could do!"
"And you don't think that crazy bird bitch wouldn't have snapped her neck with one hand if we did anything?! Plus it's not our fault you can't fucking control yourself you bloodthirsty bitch!"
Angie cackles. "Yeah! Get her!"
They meet in the middle of the room and are toe-to-toe, glaring at each other. Angie jumps off of Donna's lap and jumps around the two of them.
"How dare you!"
"This is the last time I try and do you any fucking favors!"
"Good because you couldn't even do the one thing you said you would! You unreliable greaseball!"
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Angie chants.
"Listen here you fucking cun-"
"Karl, Alcina, that is enough." Donna says, standing from her seat.
"Donna do not get in my way because I am as equally as angry at you right now." Alcina hisses.
"Alcina, please. Karl, sit down!" She says, pulling him the collar and throwing him into a chair.
"Hey!" He yells.
"Be quiet." Donna snaps before turning towards Alcina. "Alcina, please. What did you want us to do? There was nothing we could have done that wouldn't have put her life at further risk. Like Karl said, Miranda could have easily snapped her neck with one hand or when she had her caught up in the vines. We were powerless."
"What about the rest of the time?! When she was fighting against those vines! I did what I could but Miranda had me restrained! The both of you just stood there doing nothing!"
"Alcina, that's not true-"
"Then what the hell were you doing?!" Alcina screams, causing Donna to flinch and begin trembling.
"Will you stop fucking screaming at her?!" Heisenberg yells, getting in between the two of them. "Your temper is just as fucking short as you are gigantic. For your fucking information, we wanted to help. The minute Miranda wrapped you up we went to step in but Miranda eyeballed the two of us and had her vines pointed right at us. If we made any moves we would have been even more useless because we would have been fucking strung up on the ceiling by our ankles."
"Alcina, we wanted to help, we tried. There was nothing we could do that wouldn't have risked her life or made the situation worse."
Alcina lets out a shout of frustration before turning around and grabbing a nearby chair and throwing it into the wall, the chair shattering into splinters on impact. Her chest is heaving and her hands are balled into fists at her side. They begin to tremble as she struggles to keep her composure and not break down in front of everyone.
She was the matriarch of the castle, the one who never showed emotion - aside from anger. It was bad enough Donna had seen her in such a state multiple times over the last few months. It was worse that Karl witnessed her acting tender towards you. It would be a cold day in hell when she lets herself cry in front of them, Karl especially.
Hot tears sting her eyes as she struggles to keep herself together. It was easier thinking they just stood there and did nothing, at least then she was able to blame someone else. But after learning that they tried, and even worse, knowing that they were right in their suspicion that Miranda would have killed you if they stepped in to help, Alcina had no one else to blame for your pain but herself.
She broke her promise to keep you safe - again.
The realization hits her like a truck. Letting out a pained cry, she throws a table against the wall, it's pieces falling amongst the rubble from the chair.
Alcina squeezes her eyes shut, wiling the tears to go away. They threaten to roll down her cheeks but she grits her teeth and pushes everything she's feeling down with all of her strength.
You begin to wake up, feeling the sensation of tiny fingers running through your hair.
"She's waking up." You hear a familiar voice say.
"Hmm?" You mumble.
Turning your head towards the sound, you let out a small whimper from the pain at your neck.
"Easy, easy, don't move your head too much." The voice says.
Opening your eyes, you're met with a small pair of golden eyes with red strands of hair falling in front of them on one side.
"Daniela?"
"Yes, micuțo, I'm here." (Little one)
"Where's Alcina?" You ask, your eyes barely able to stay open.
"Karl, Donna and Angie are here, she went to talk to them." Bela says.
"Oh, okay." Your brows furrow as you feel the pressure of the gauze against your neck. "Fuck that hurts."
"I'm sure it does. When mom gets back Donna is going to stitch you up and we'll give you something for the pain, okay?"
"Okay."
"Go back to sleep micuțo, you need to rest." Daniela says, caressing your hair.
Your eyes close and you're swept away by sleep once more.
Not long after Alcina, Donna, Angie and Karl enter the room. Alcina didn't want an audience but Karl was being as stubborn as ever and Angie of course goes wherever Donna goes.
Sitting on the edge of the bed - taking over from Bela - Alcina runs her fingers through your hair.
"Draga, draga wake up." She says, her voice as comforting as a warm breeze. "Come on, iubirea mea. You have to wake up."
Your eyes flutter open and are met with Alcina's glowing golden eyes.
"There you go. Just like that, come now, you have to wake up."
"Alcina?"
"Yes love, it's me. I'm here." She says as she strokes your cheek with the back of her fingers. "Donna and Karl are here."
"I'm here too!" Angie screams.
Alcina shoots the doll a glare and turns her attention back to you.
"You need stitches, Donna is going to administer them, alright?"
"Okay."
Alcina moves to the other side of the bed after shooing Bela and Daniela out of the room. Angie and Karl stand on the outskirts of Alcina's chambers while Donna stitches up your wound. The entire time you're being stitched up, Alcina is sitting next to you on the bed, holding your hand and caressing it with her thumb. The stitches weren't exactly painful, but the wound itself was. Every so often a rogue tear would roll down your cheek and Alcina would quickly wipe it away, shushing you and comforting you.
When Donna was finished she gave her work one more once-over before nodding at Alcina.
"Try not to move your neck too much to avoid popping any stitches." Donna says. "You can remove them in a weeks time."
"Thank you, Donna." Alcina says.
"Of course. I'm glad to see you're okay, Y/N." Donna says to you.
"Thank you."
Angie climbs up onto the bed and stands on your chest, staring at your face. It's not that Angie weighs much, but it's still uncomfortable having anything standing on your chest right now.
"Will you get off of her." Alcina says, pushing Angie off of your chest.
"Hey! Watch it!" Angie argues before shooting a glare at Alcina, who returns the look. Staring at you once more Angie tilts her head at you. "You know, I was only kidding when I called you her new blood bag! But I guess I was right all along!" She says with an ear piercing cackle.
Alcina's eyes grow wide and angry at the doll and Donna quickly scoops her up and ushers her out of the door.
"Hey! Donna! What the hell?!" She manages to yell before Donna closes the door on her. "Oh come on! I was only kidding!" Angie's muffled voice calls from the other side of the door.
Karl walks up to the edge of the bed and looks down at you.
"How're ya feelin, kid?"
"Never better."
Karl chuckles and pulls something out of his waistband. "Here, found this on the floor of the chapel. It's pretty fucked up to toss a brand new gift, especially something as perfectly hand-crafted as this, onto a dirty chapel floor." He says with a wink before handing you the dagger he gifted you earlier in the day.
"Huh, sorry. I figured since it came from you it was used to laying around in trash." You quip.
Karl bursts into laughter and pats your shoulder. "Yeah, she'll be fine." He says to Alcina.
Alcina's eyes are trained on the dagger in your hand as it lays on your chest. Her eyes glued to the dried blood caked into the Dimitrescu coat of arms engraving. Nearly the entire engraving was now the rusted color of dried blood - your blood. Her heart clenches as she relives watching Miranda drag her nail down your chest.
"Hello? Earth to Alcina?" Karl says, snapping her out of her trance. "There's no way you're bloodthirsty already. You already took half of her shit!" He says.
Alcina's eyes shoot up to Karl and they narrow at him dangerously. She lets out a low growl and Karl puts his hands up.
"Jesus, I'm just kidding. That stick up your ass must me a mile long."
"Is there anything else you need or are you going to continue to bother us like the pest you are and keep her from resting?" Alcina snaps.
"Alright, alright. No need to get your parachute-sized panties in a bunch. I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Catch ya later, kid." He says to you with a tip of his hat and leaves the room. Donna nods to the two of you and follows him out, closing the door behind them.
You carefully turn towards Alcina, trying to be mindful of the stitches in your neck and she has a far away look in her eyes.
"Hey," you say, placing your hand over hers. "What's wrong?"
Alcina snaps out it and looks down at you.
"Nothing, I am fine." She says before taking the dagger from your hand and getting up to put it away.
As she walks towards the vanity where the leg holster is, she runs her thumb over the bloodied coat of arms. She didn't even realize she stopped moving until she felt something grab at her thigh.
Looking down, she sees you standing next to her with your arms wrapped around her leg.
"Draga, you need to be in bed and rest!" She says, putting the dagger down and turning her attention to you.
"I know, but you're not okay. I can see it in your eyes. Talk to me, Alci. Please."
"Come, you have to get back in bed."
"Can I at least shower and put on clean clothes?"
Looking down at you and realizing that you're still covered in dried blood and dirty, bloody clothing. Alcina sighs in defeat and agrees.
After a quick shower and some fresh pajamas, you lay down on the new sheets Alcina had a maid put on the bed while you were cleaning yourself up - exchanging them for the bloodied sheets you were once laying on.
You wanted to talk to Alcina, to find out what was wrong. Well, you're pretty sure you knew what was wrong given everything that happened but the moment your head hit the pillow a current of sleep pulled you under.
The next few days were a blur. Alcina was constantly coming and going from her chambers, checking in on you nearly every hour. All of the physical trauma that happened to your body seemed to catch up with you. Not only were you absolutely exhausted, your neck was bruised and swollen from Miranda's hand and the vines. You realized quickly after you woke up the next morning you could barely speak, to which Alcina muttered to herself "I had a feeling this would happen." and promptly had a maid bring you hot tea and soft foods.
Each day that passed Alcina seemed to be withdrawing into herself more and more. A familiar fear began to creep into your chest. Last time she became withdrawn she broke your heart into a thousand pieces, you were worried she was heading down that path again. You so desperately wanted to talk to her but you physically couldn't. So you tried to communicate your feelings physically. Kissing her, holding her hand whenever she sat near you, cuddling into her as close as you possibly could at night. You were happy that she was reciprocating your advances but something in her eyes still made her seem so far away.
On the fifth night, your voice was finally on the mend. It was raspy as hell, but at least you were able to speak.
Alcina was laying next to you reading a book. Her reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. You wiggled under her arm and cuddled into her, resting your head on her breast. She looked down at you and chuckled and adjusted her arm so you were comfortable. Wrapping your arm around her waist, your fingers drew abstract shapes across the silk of her nightgown. You couldn't help but look up at her and admire her beauty.
It was so rare for anyone to see her like this. With her hair down, no makeup, laying in just a nightgown with her reading glasses on. You could clearly see the laugh lines that adorned her perfect lips, even though their signature red rouge was absent. They still looked as full as ever. The crows feet in the corners of her eyes perfectly complimented her laugh lines. You could see every scar and stretchmark that adorned her neck, chest and face - no doubt most of them coming from the rapid growth she endured after getting the cadou. You wondered how many of them she carried over from her previous life and how many of them were new. She was effortlessly beautiful, yet something lurked in her eyes that made you believe that she never once looked at herself that way.
"You do know it's rude to stare, right, draga?" She says, her eyes not leaving her book.
"People stare at artwork all the time and that's considered a compliment." You rasped.
Alcina smirked and rolled her eyes before they landed on you. "Is there something I can do for you?" She asks, closing her book.
"Nuh-uh. I'm just looking at the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on."
"Flattery will get you everywhere, draga mea." She says before leaning down and placing a kiss on your lips. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
"No I'm good, I'm fine. How are you?"
"Me? There's no need to worry about me." She pulls the covers off of her and moves to stand up but you hold onto her, keeping her in place.
"But I am worried about you."
"Don't. Let me up, I am going to put my book away."
You release her from your grip with a sigh and watch her as she returns her book to the bookshelf and places her glasses on the vanity.
"I can't help it. I haven't been able to talk to you for almost a week. We haven't even been able to talk about what happened."
"We will have plenty of time to discuss what happened. What's important now is that you rest your voice and continue healing."
"Alcina, please. You're pulling away again. You've been doing it all week. It's starting to worry me. Please just talk to me."
Alcina places her hands on her vanity and looks down.
"I don't know what it is you want me to say."
"Anything, say anything. Tell me how you're feeling, let me know what you're thinking, anything." Alcina stands there, unmoving and silent. "Alcina please, it scares me when you get like this. Please let me help." You try your best to keep your voice steady but it still shakes. Alcina closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"I don't want to burden you, you have enough to deal with draga."
"It's not a burden, you are never a burden. I'm more worried about you than anything else right now. Please, just talk to me. You promised you would talk to me."
She hangs her head and digs her nails into her palms. After taking a minute to collect her thoughts she finally speaks. "I'm afraid, draga." She says and looks up at you through the mirror.
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of myself, afraid of losing control again. I nearly killed you. I was completely out of control." Even from this distance you can see her eyes start to gloss over.
"But you didn't."
"But I very easily could have. That side of me, it is dangerous. It is horrific and monstrous-"
"Don't say that about yourself-"
"You have no idea what you're talking about!" She shouts as she turns towards you. "That side of me is nothing compared to what you've seen. It is ugly and horrifying and no one other than Mother Miranda has seen it in it's entirety. That was the first time anyone aside from my girls have even seen my wings! Those ugly, awful-"
"Alcina, they were beautiful."
"No they are not."
"They are to me."
"Nothing about that side of me is beautiful, draga. Nothing."
"Why are you so afraid of it?"
"Because I have no control over it! You saw what happened, I heard you begging and screaming to let you go and there wasn't a single thing I was able to do! It was like my mind was trapped in a body I had no control over."
Suddenly it felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown over you. You knew Alcina wasn't in control, but you thought that a different conscious took over and hers went dormant. But she heard you begging for your life. You were right, Mother Miranda wanted her to kill you. She wanted Alcina to be imprisoned as she watched you die in her arms.
"You heard me?"
"Yes. And when I'm in that state there is nothing I can do to stop myself." She wraps her arms around herself and looks down at the ground. "That's why I was so afraid when she told me to feed from you."
"Because she knows you're not in control. She wanted you to watch what you did to me but not be able to stop it."
"Precisely."
You move over and pat the empty side of the bed, silently asking Alcina to join you again. She stands there for a moment, her arms still wrapped around herself, almost as if she's afraid to get too close to you. "Come on." You say as you wave her over. Eventually she sighs and lays back down in bed. Being mindful of your stitches, you curl into her and lay your head on her shoulder.
"But you stopped. You weren't in control but you stopped." You said.
"I don't know what you did to stop me but I can never guarantee that will happen again. You were lucky. We were lucky that monster stopped."
"Alcina, please."
"I don't know what else you want me to call it, it's a monster."
"What does it look like, your full form?"
"Like a dragon of sorts."
"Of sorts?"
"It's hard to explain."
"Okay, then call it a dragon, not a monster. For me, please?"
Alcina looks into your pleading eyes and rolls hers. "I will try."
"Thank you. Do you want to know how I got you to stop?"
"Yes."
"As you were feeding from me I remembered Cassandra saying that fear makes blood taste sweeter. I realized every time I felt fearful, the bite would get worse. So I relaxed myself in your arms and stroked your cheek. I asked you to please stop, that it was enough. Just when I thought I had failed and that I was going to die, you slowed down and stopped."
"I am so sorry, draga." She says as she wipes a few tears away and kisses the top of your head.
"But the most interesting thing happened after you stopped."
"What was that?"
"Even though your eyes were completely white, you looked afraid when you looked down at me in your arms and saw what happened. Was that the dragon, or was that you?"
Alcina leans her head back for a moment to think. She closes her eyes and her brows furrow.
"I think it was both of us. I was screaming, trying to get it to stop. Then it realized what it had done and I felt it's fear."
"Do you remember what happened afterwards?"
"When that mon-" you shoot her a look and she huffs. "when that dragon takes over my memory becomes hazy, so I don't remember everything clearly."
"You nuzzled me and whimpered."
"What?"
"Yeah, you nuzzled me and I heard you let out a whimper like a sad puppy. Then Mother Miranda took a step towards us and you growled at her. She took another step forward and you stepped backwards and then you full on snarled at her."
"Did I really?" Alcina asks with a look of surprise on her face.
"Yeah. Why? What's wrong?"
"It only ever responded to Mother Miranda. She was the only one that was ever able to control it." She says with a faraway look in her eye. Shaking her head, she looks back down at you. "Sorry, please continue."
"It's okay. After that you kneeled on the ground and covered us with your wings. Your mouth went to move towards my neck and I stopped you. I wasn't sure if you were going to try and feed again but instead you nuzzled me again and started purring, like really loudly. Louder than I've ever heard before."
A faint blush dusts Alcina's cheeks and she looks away as if she's embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She mumbles.
"What? Alcina, there's absolutely nothing to apologize for, especially for that." You say as you guide her chin back towards you. "Honestly? I liked it. It made me feel safe. Even when you do it and it's a faint purr, its comforting."
"I suppose that, thing, and I are more connected than I would care to admit. We are one in a way."
"That's why I don't want you to hate it or talk badly about it. It's part of who you are, and everything about you is beautiful and worthy of love."
Alcina's breath stalls in her chest and she looks deep into your eyes with wonder. "You are truly fascinating. You never cease to amaze me, draga mea." She whispers, as if she's talking to herself.
You sit up and bring your lips to meet hers in a gentle, passionate kiss. "I love everything about you. Everything that you are, Alcina. Always." You whisper against her lips before she kisses you again.
When your lips part you rest your head in the crook of her neck and she runs her fingers through your hair.
"Did anything else happen?" She asks.
"Well when I realized you weren't going to feed again, I let you move back towards the bite mark you started licking it and cleaning it."
"That I do faintly remember. Right before I came back, correct?"
"Yeah, you placed a kiss on it and when you pulled back the white in your eyes faded back to your usual gold."
"That's right. I do remember that. That's why Mother Miranda had that incredulous look on her face. Because the mon-"
"Alcina." You interrupt.
"Sorry, I've been calling it that for nearly 60 years, it's going to take some time to break that habit." She says defensively. "Anyway, she had that look on her face because the dragon disobeyed her, it rejected her and chose you."
"Man that must have pissed her off."
"It very likely had."
"Do you think she'll leave me alone now?"
"I hope so, draga mea. Mother Miranda is a woman of her word. She promised she would leave you alone from now on."
"She said that last time."
"Technically, she said she would respect my property."
"Is that not the same thing?"
"For Mother Miranda, no. But she swore to leave you alone so I can only hope she keeps her word."
"I'll believe it when I see it."
You stifle a yawn and Alcina chuckles and kisses you on the forehead.
"Sleep, draga." She says as she slides down under the covers and wraps her arms around you. "You need rest. And you need to rest your voice. You only just got it back and I fear that the length of our conversation will set you back in your recovery."
"It would be worth it. I missed talking to you. And we needed to talk."
"That we did, iubirea mea." She says as she nuzzles into your hair. "I missed talking to you too. Now go to sleep."
Alcina kisses the shell of your ear and you fall asleep feeling her warm breath cascading over you.
Of course, the conversation the two of you had did indeed set your recovery back because you woke up without a voice again and didn't get it back for another two days.
Finally your week of recovery has gone by and Alcina was able to remove the stitches from your neck wound. She tried to hide her grimace at the scar but you saw the look on her face. Insisting on seeing it for yourself, you couldn't help but make the same face at first. Your reaction to it, even though it was involuntary, broke Alcina's heart and you could see it all over her face. You did your best to reassure her that it wasn't that bad and that it would fade some in time, but the both of you knew that it would still leave a very noticeable scar.
Feeling the guilt radiate off of her, you led her to the bed and had her lay down with you. Curling into her as tightly as possible, the two of you laid like that for hours, trying to let the aftermath of the meeting fade from your minds. The both of you still had a lot of thoughts and feelings to work out, but as you laid in each others arms, nothing else in the world mattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C25l1SkYzb0
"Look I'm the dragon lady!" Angie's voice screeches from underneath the hat. "Roar! I'm so big and scary! Fear me!"
"Give me that." Alcina says, swiping the hat from Angie's head.
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maniculum · 21 days
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Bestiaryposting Results: Dolthruk
More physical description than usual on this one, some of which I worry makes the creature a bit obvious, but we'll see how that plays out.
If you're not sure what any of this is about, please refer to https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting.
To see the entry the artists are working from, click here:
To see the one we're doing for next week, and possibly contribute your own work, click here:
Art below the cut.
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@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) started with a platypus, then added some other influences to make the described size work. I think it came out quite well -- that is a solid depiction of what a platypus relative might look like if it were huge and terrifying.
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@cheapsweets (link to post here) has also given us something quite frightening -- I don't think I'd want to get near this one. Or see it in person. The inspirations for this design are pretty interesting -- I'd recommend checking them out in the linked post. And, if that distinctively-patterned hide looks familiar to you, that is addressed in the linked post as well. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)
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@citrvsdrake (link to post here) also has a quite fearsome rendition, this one almost draconic -- in their post, they mention that they originally thought of some sort of river snake, but with armor and legs this becomes more of a dragon. I think it's a good dragon, too.
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@pomrania (link to post here) also started with the idea of making a large, dangerous platypus, but went in a different direction, emphasizing scales and spikes. I like the serrated bill here; that's a nice touch.
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@wendievergreen (link to post here) has instead drawn something adorable, noting that they decided to go in the opposite direction of what they suspected the animal was. I think it's delightful. For explanation of the inspirations for this design, and a close-up of the image, see the linked post. (Also, thank you for providing alt text -- and I think the banana thing is still funny too.)
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@coolest-capybara (link to post here) brings the Beast Vibe back to "frightening" with this creation. Some fantastic work with the faces on both the Dolthruk and the fish, and of course I love the Stylized Plants... listen. Does anyone else think this looks like the cover of a really wild album? (Also, thank you for providing alt text.)
Anyway.
Aberdeen Bestiary says...
... no picture for you. It's not been cut out this time, they just didn't draw one. This section is more or less without illustrations, in fact. Maybe they considered it less important -- according to the bestiary's categorization system, this is a fish, actually. Sure, it has legs, but it lives in the water, what else do you want?
The Ashmole Bestiary, my backup illustration source, makes the same decision, but Bodley MS 764, my backup text source, does provide an illustration (and doesn't call it a fish).
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Okay, so that's not a hugely realistic depiction, but it's probably not completely shocking to say that this is the crocodile.
I was surprised not to see any reference to tears in the Aberdeen entry -- the concept of "crocodile tears" is popular in the bestiaries.
The bit about color that I redacted from the entry claims that the crocodile's name comes from crocus due to its saffron-colored hide (not in evidence in the above image). I don't think this is true -- both English words can be traced back through Latin to Greek, and they certainly sound similar, but it seems crocus is probably a loanword into Greek from somewhere in the Semitic language family (hard to say which language specifically), and thus unrelated to crocodile despite their shared elements.
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tiredwitchplant · 1 year
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How to Use Herbs: Basil (Sweet Basil)
Hwello again! This time we shall be talking about how to use basil in different forms. If you want more information about basil, please click this link to get to my basil post: Basil Let's get started.
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Alchemist Formulas:
*Remember always try to see one part as a teaspoon before going into other measurements. Doing a smaller amount first and then trial and error is better than making too much and a mess.
Mars:
two parts red sandalwood
one part honeysuckle flowers
one part basil
one part ginger oil
one part juniper oil
Health
one part frankincense (Sun; vitality)
one part basil (Mars; energy)
one part cinnamon (Mercury; nervous system)
one part bay oil (Sun; health)
one part sandalwood oil (Moon; Inner Self)
Oils
Basil Essential Oil:
Ingredients
12 ounces olive oil
2 ounces basil, 1 packed cup
Remove basil leaves from stems.
Place olive oil in a pint sized mason jar.
Carefully stuff basil into mason jar and close the lid.
Store on a sunny windowsill for 1 day.
Use a funnel to strain oil and a spoon to smash last bits of oil out of leaves and discard the leaves.
Transfer oil to a decorative jar and refrigerate for up to 1 week.
Prosperity Oil:
1 part mint
1 part basil
1 part cinnamon
1 part pine
Carrier oil of your choice (olive oil, jojoba oil and etc)
Simply take a small mason jar and fill it a 1/4 of the way up with your chosen oil.
Add in your herbs while thinking of your intentions of prosperity and abundance and swirl the jar around clockwise.
Then add a little bit more of the oil before closing the lid.
Awakening Oil:
*This needs to crafted on a full moon
1/4 cup carrier oil
Mason jar
2 drops of basil oil
2 drops of thyme oil
Pour your carrier oil into the mason jar and then added the drops of thyme and basil
Swirl it gently in a clockwise direction so it will mix thoroughly. Say, "I awaken, I listen, I see. Enlightenment come to me. Awareness, mindfulness, clarity. Illumination come to me."
Anoint your temples on your head and pulse points with your oil before doing divination work.
Spells
Basil Growth Spell
Chop fresh basil into fine threads.
Warm honey gently over the stove. (A double boiler or bain-marie is recommended, as honey scorches easily.)
Add the basil to the honey and simmer.
Remove the basil-enhanced honey from the source of heat and murmur over it something like this: "Flies flocks to honey, Customers flock to me, Bears flock to honey, Business flocks to me, Ants flock to honey, Contracts flock to me."
Run a warm bath for yourself.
Rub the honey over your body, and then enter the bath.
Soak in the water for a while. When you emerge, before you drain the water, reserve some of the used bathwater.
Toss this on the grounds of your business.
Sex Worker’s Better Business Spell
Dress a lodestone , a magnetite rock, with essential oils of basil, bergamot, and lavender. (In theory, the lodestones' gender may be coordinated with the gender of the clientele you wish to draw.)
Sprinkle with magnetic sand and a pinch of ground cinnamon.
Carry or wear to charm up added business.
Exorcism Powder
Blend the following ingredients together and grind into a fine powder:
Dried basil
Frankincense
Rosemary
Rue
Yarrow
2. Blend this powder with arrowroot powder.
3. Sprinkle as needed.
Basil Cleansing Bath
Pour approximately one cup of boiling water over one heaped teaspoon of dried basil.
Allow this to stand until the water cools, creating a strong infusion.
Add this to your bath.
Financial Dreams (For Solutions)
Sprinkle either infused basil oil or essential oil of basil onto a lodestone, just before going to sleep.
Get into bed, turn out the lights and gently rub the scented lodestone in a sunwise direction on your forehead. (When you awake, your forehead will probably be dirty. Don’t panic; lodestone dust is lucky.)
Keep the lodestone near the bed, so that you can inhale the basil
Since two of these spells ask for lodestone, here is where you can get some and arrowroot powder. Lodestone , Arrowroot Powder
Kitchen Witch Recipe:
Wisdom Soup
Serves: 4
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cooking Time: 30 minutes, plus a little bit until it’s just right
1 cup red lentils
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can coconut milk
1 lime, sliced into thin wheels
Oil Options: Olive oil, toasted sesame oil
Sour Options: lemon juice, lime juice, rice vinegar
1 onion, diced
Sweet Options: Sugar, honey, agave
2 sprigs basil, de-stemmed and chopped
Salt Options: Soy sauce, sea salt, sweet miso (make a paste with miso and water before adding)
2 inches fresh ginger, minced
2 cups water
2 sprigs cilantro, de-stemmed and chopped
2 sprigs mint, de-stemmed and chopped
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
In a pot, place the lentils, coconut milk, and water, and bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer.
Add the onion, garlic, ginger, cayenne.Stir. Do not cover.
Once the lentils are cooked and not firm (about 15–20 minutes), add one thing from the sour category, one from the sweet category, one from the salty, and some oil (add about a teaspoon of oil at a time). Taste. Repeat with a different item from each category.
Garnish with sliced wheels of lime and minced-up basil, mint, and cilantro.
I hope you enjoy these spells, recipes, and formulas and put them to good use. Use them wisely and bye byes~
Sources
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drmaddict · 1 year
Text
True Crime
Summary: (Y/n) has a true crime channel. Walter hates true crime. Walter findest out.
Wordcount: 1.452
Warnings: brief mention of torture and rape
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Faye didn't want to make that sound. Especially not in the presence of her father, but it had just slipped out of her mouth.
And of course he was now standing next to her, as if she had been shot and had not just taken a surprised breath.
She inconspicuously tried to turn her cell phone toward her, but he was already reaching out for it.
She looked at him with angel eyes.
"That was a really good part of the song," she smiled.
He continued to stare at her strictly. She sighed and handed him the phone.
He looked at the display with his eyebrows drawn together. "True Crime?"
She leaned back into the sofa. This could take a while. "Do you know how much crap this trash spreads?" he started.
"Dad it's just a YouTube channel." Her father started to speak again, but she immediately continued. "And it's well-researched for once. It's got mostly closed cases in it and when they're open, there's no speculation. All the sources are linked. She even shares the published police files."
"Faye. I don't want you listening to that kind of stuff yet. There's disturbing shit happening in the world. You're too young for that."
"That's what the light versions are for.", she insisted.
"The what?"
Faye reached for her phone and showed him the YouTube channel. "Here. These are the light versions I listen to and this", she pointed to the video below, "is the full version, which also goes deeper into all the tathher processes. Plus, even on the easy stuff, you can still skip parts and she warns you."
Walter paused. Since when were these idiots so careful. "And how do I know you're not listening to the other versions?"
Faye simply clicked on one of those videos and immediately a message came up saying you had to confirm your age by ID or credit card. "Because I can't." She leaned back again. "You can tell she takes parental controls very seriously."
Walter grumbled. He was running out of arguments. "And how do you know, how well researched it is. You don't even know who it is."
In hindsight, Faye really didn't know what she might have given away. Whether she had moved her left nostril, or the right corner of her mouth was emitting Morse code, but her father knew right away.
"Who is it?" he asked immediately.
She remained silent. "Any of the older ones from school? A teacher? One of the parents? Aha!"
How the hell did he do that?
"Dad come on. Does it matter?"
He just looked at her strictly again.
She sighed. "Only if you don't say anything."
He rolled his eyes. "I won't embarrass you in front of your friends."
She rolled her eyes. "It's (y/n)." she muttered. "I like (y/n) and so do you, so please just forget about it and don't make a scene."
(Y/n)? "When does she have time for that?"
"Well when you're at work."
He continued to stare at the phone and sighed.
Why hadn't she ever said anything?
"Send me the worst case she has in there."
She didn't have to think twice. She reached for her phone and sent him the video.
"But the light version only goes for 20 minutes," she explained.
"And the other one?"
"A good hour and a half, I think. That one has the most extreme time difference."
She continued typing on the device. "She does a lot more stuff like this, though," she explained. "And you might even like this one," she looked at him uncertainly. "It's about hacking and.... and she educates really well."
He looked at her. "Faye breathe. I'm not going to break up with her."
She loosened up a bit.
"She just could have told me something.", he grumbled.
"Well you're not exactly hiding how much you hate True Crime," she said hesitantly.
Walter sighed. "I'll listen to it."
Faye smiled. "Thanks."
Since he was ordered to take forced vacation, he could also watch the videos. (Y/n) was anyway with a friend living far away.
It was not as if he had anything better to do.
Walter decided to rip off the band-aid and started with the worst case. The full version, though.
He clicked on the video and neutral music sounded. For once, no horror music. The screen remained black.
'Welcome back my dears. If you've already peeked at the trigger warnings, you've already seen that today's case is really not for the faint of heart. As always, assess yourselves honestly. I also had to stop several times during research. As always, you'll find the light version as the next video, but you can also skip parts in this one.
So let's start with how one case managed to put even members of the Japanese Mafia behind bars and why even minors can be sentenced as adults in case of doubt.'
Walter interrupted the video several times. Although it was about a japanese girl beeing tortured and raped, he kept having Faye in mind. You'd think the years in his job had dulled him, but he felt sick at the recitals of torture he was now hearing.
'I don't really know how to end a video like this, but please remain careful as always. Take care of yourselves and your friends and family. There's a link coming up on the screen now. If you know someone, or you need help yourself when it comes to sexual violence. You will find phone numbers, email addresses and places to go to find protection, but also to share and find people who can help you with processing. I hope I didn't scare you away too much but next week there will be something lighter. Promise.
Stay safe and see you next time.
Bye.'
Walter went to the link and actually found official and good stations. Support groups and hotlines he knew himself.
He clicked on the next video that Faye had sent him. That's the kind of video she does most, she had said.
'Welcome back. Today with probably one of the most famous cases in the world. Everyone who has ever heard of criminal cases also knows him. Ted Bundy is the world's most famous serial killer. I want to tell you today, how one man managed to exploit the weaknesses of the police organization so that he got away with his crimes for years.'
Walter listened to the double episode back-to-back. (Y/n) hardly dealt with the crimes themselves, but mainly with the investigative work and Bundy's advantages. The process and his time in prison. She worked almost biographically. Rachel would be proud of her psychlogy research, he had to honestly admit. It wasn't sensationalist, but it was intriguing nonetheless. He scrolled through the rest of the videos on the channel. Well-known cases from the eighties. Historical cases that went back to the fifteenth century. But he also found videos that educated about security measures. Especially for the Internet. Small self-defense tricks that could help even people without any experience in case of emergency.
He had to confess that he didn't hate her channel.
He clicked on the last video that Faye had sent him.
'Hello and welcome my dear ones. When you think of TrueCrime, you immediately think of serial killers and the heavy hitters, so it's easy to forget that there are other newsworthy types of crime. Today we're talking about a revenge porn site that destroyed more than one life and a young man who thought he could do anything until he met the wrong mother. Many of you are probably familiar with the Netflix documentary.'
He went through the links while listening to the video. Again, he found official cybercrime contact points.
Educational sites. Tips for staying safe online.
Walter dropped into his chair. He didn't like the idea of a TrueCrime channel he liked. He hated those things. But (y/n) was doing a good job.
He stroked his face with his hand.
The next day, he just walked past Faye and grumbled:"You can listen to it."
He ignored her triumphant grin and made himselfe some coffee.
He sent (y/n) a link to their own channel. 'Why didn't you tell me?'
Her response wasn't taking long.
'On our first date you said how much you hate TrueCrime.... I thought you were great and I didn't want to screw it up right away and at some point it was too late. Did Faye tell?'
'Not willingly. I interrogated her. Your research is good.'
'So we're good?'
'Only if you add a few places to go in your links.'
'You are a softy after all.'
Walter grumbled.
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azukisoul · 1 year
Text
Translation of GinHiji manga/dj: "Together." by 礼央。(pixiv) [non-h]
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This was requested on Twitter, a heartwarming reincarnation story :") I loved translating it.
CLICK HERE FOR MANGA LINK | Out of courtesy to the artist I'm not reposting their art here, please visit the page, refer to the translation as you read along, and show the artist some love!
I do not mind uncredited text reposts but please DO NOT use my translation to scanlate/edit the manga and post the edits. Keep it text only and link to the source.
Downloadable translation on Google Docs
Translation
[page 1] S: Hijikata-san! H: Oh, glasses. G: Um, have you seen Gin-san?
[page 2] H: Oh, so you're alive. G: Huh!? G: Is it a bad thing that I'm alive? G: Wait. G: Hold on, you're on break? H: Well, yeah. G: Are you here to see me? H: I'm just taking a walk. G: Hmph. I know you're here to see me, though. H: Die, idiot. G: What have you been saying!? Am I not allowed to be alive!?
[page 3] H: Earlier, H: I saw glasses. G: Shinpachi? H: Yeah. H: He was looking for you, y'know. G: …. H: You… H: What are you H: thinking of right now? G: What's this all of a sudden? G: Is it because of Shinpachi? S: Gin-san has been acting weird lately. S: This morning, too, he said he's just heading out to buy Jump, but… H: Nah. H: Well… H: Yeah.
[page 4] H: He was worried about you. H: Hurry up and go home. G: Pfft. That's why you were surprised I'm alive? G: Hijikata-kun, are you an idiot? H: Shut up. G: Hey, wanna listen to me? H: Sure.
[page 5] G: You know, I… H: Mm. G: I found myself thinking that I'm happy. H: Mm. G: And then I ended up thinking about whether or not I'm allowed to be this happy. G: And then, somehow G: I suddenly got scared. H: I see. G: If I'm at home, G: there's Kagura, and Sadaharu, G: and during the day there's Shinpachi, too. G: It's fun there even if we're not doing anything. H: Mm.
[page 6] G: I ended up thinking that I don't want to let them go. H: …. G: It's silly, right? G: I've never even thought about what's ahead of me or what my future looks like. G: Someday, they all will go to walk on their own paths and leave my side. G: This won't go on forever. I know that, and I don't have a problem with that. G: I'll tell them that I'm happy they all found something they want to do. G: But then I thought about what I'm going to do by myself when that time comes. G: I closed my eyes G: and tried to picture that now emptier room. G: And then…
[page 7] G: I can only see you there, Hijikata. G: Hey. G: Will you live together with me?
[page 8] H: Those words made my heart clench. H: Ah. H: I want to protect this person. I want to be by his side. H: That's what I felt.
[page 9] H: Things progressed surprisingly quickly after that. H: Kondou-san cried and was happy for us. H: The kids welcomed us. H: And then, we H: someway somehow, became a family.
[page 10] G: Hey. G: Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death.
[page 11] G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life H: I'll keep you from being alone again.
[page 12] H: Hey, hurry up!
[page 13] H: You're so damn slow, you fucking perm! You want us to leave together, right!? G: Wa-wait a minute, okay! I'm coming now, dammit! H: Your slowness is gonna make me end up being late! G: Sorry, sorry. *step step step* G: Man, Mr. Public Servant Police Officer here sure is strict about time. H: You're the one who's too loose about it! Also, hurry up and find a job already! G: No need. Right now, I'm trying to think about what I truly want in life. It's an important time for me. H: You'll probably go to the Employment Service Center today, anyway. G: I can't say anything to that! H: Hey. H: You…
[page 14] G: Okay, then. Be careful. H: What are you thinking about right now? H: Yeah. You too. H: What do you see? G: I'm gonna make dinner and wait for you, darling. H: That's freaking gross. H: Are you not afraid anymore? H: Right now, H: are you happy? *clack*
[page 15] H: Me? H: Yeah. I'm here with you, H: so I'm happy.
[page 16] The following is an additional story for "Together." that I drew for REOLOG (my doujin collection). *Depiction of death *Post-reincarnation
[page 17] G: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. G: I don't know who it belongs to.
[page 18] G: G to T… G: G is for Gintoki, I guess? G: Then who is T… G: I have absolutely no idea.
[page 19] G: My mom said G: I seem to have picked it up out of nowhere when I was a baby. G: Even when they took it away out of fear of me accidentally swallowing it G: or threw it away because it seemed strange, G: before they knew it, it always returned to the palm of my hands. G: My mom then had the idea of putting that ring around my neck.
[page 20] S: Heey, Gintoki! S: The entrance ceremony is about to start. G: Yeah, I'm coming. G: I have no idea if this ring even has any meaning at all. G: But, G: when I look at it, my heart becomes calmer, yet also excited, yet also painful. It's strange. G: I'm sure there is a meaning. G: I believe that. H: Haha. K: And then, Otae-san was like…
[page 21] G: Hiji… G: …kata.
[page 22] *glare* *ba-dump* G: Huh? H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. Did I say something? H: Huh? Say something? Nah. You called my name, right? G: N… Name?
[page 23] O: Hijikata-san! What are you doing? H: Tch. You damn perm. G: His name is G: Hijikata, huh… G: Hijikata? I said his name? I did? G: Why? G: …. G: Hijikata.
[page 24] G: Hijikata. G: Who is that? G: Hijikata. G: Is that someone I know? G: Hijikata. G: Who the hell are you? G: Hey, Hijikata. G: Will you live together with me? G: Who?
[page 25] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. H: So that in our next life…
[page 26] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *rustle*
[page 27] G: Hijikata… G: …Toshirou. G: Yeah. I remember now. G: I remember now. G: G to T. G: This is G: the ring I gave him.
[page 28] G: In our next life… G: We met. G: We met, G: Hijikata.
[page 29] -
[page 30] H: I'll go too, soon. H: Wait for me, okay?
[page 31] H: Yorozuya.
[page 32] -
[page 33] H: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. H: Who does it belong to? H: What shards are these? H: I have no idea.
[page 34] G: And then, Zura and Sakomoto's like… G: Then, Takasugi fell (lol) G: Hilarious, right? H: …. H: Hey, Sakata. G: What is it, Hijikata-kun? H: Which class are you in? G: H (Ecchi) ♥ H: Don't say it in such a weird way. H: And this class is? G: A Class. H: Then, let me ask you this. H: Why are you always eating lunch here everyday!? We're not even on the same floor. H: Furthermore, here in front of me!
[page 35] G: That's clearly G: because I want to be next to you, right? G: Just kidding. *GROSSED OUT* *fidgets* G: Hey, come on! Don't look so clearly grossed out like that! H: Stop those jokes already. G: Hahah. It was just a joke. Don't mind it so much. H: Geez. I really don't date guys, okay? H: ….
[page 36] H: ? G: I know, I know. G: Hahah. H: Sakata Gintoki… H: The first time I met him was on the day of our high school entrance ceremony. G: Hiji… G: …kata.
[page 37] H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. H: A guy with lazy eyes that resemble those of a dead fish. H: Rarely-seen silver hair. G: Did I say something? H: It should've been the first time we met, but it didn't feel like the first. H: You damn perm. H: After that day, H: For some reason, Sakata took a liking to me and popped up in my classroom whenever he had the time. O: Oh, it's Danna. K: Ooh, Gintoki, you're here. G: Don't interrupt us. Get the hell away, Gorilla. H: Kondou-san is not a gorilla!
[page 38] H: The guy is suspicious, H: but I don't think of it as strange and end up hating it. H: In fact, that smile H: perhaps even feels familiar to me. *ba-dump* G: Hm? What's wrong? H: Oh, nothing. H: I never knew you wear that thing.
[page 39] G: Oh, this? G: You're curious about it? H: Nah, not really. G: Don't worry. I don't have a girlfriend or anything. H: L-Like anyone even asked about that! G: Come on, just hear me out. G: This is something I've been keeping safe for as long as I can remember. G: I've been holding on to it without even knowing who it belongs to or why I can't let go of it. H: Without knowing… H: All this time? G: Yeah. G: All this time. H: For as long as you can remember? G: Yeah. G: As long as I can remember.
[page 40] H: I was shocked. H: His story is exactly the same as mine. H: The ring in that bottle… H: And his ring… *thump* H: What is happening? H: There's a strange pain in my chest. *ruffles*
[page 41] G: Take your time. H: …. G: I'll wait.
[page 42] H: T to G. H: Does it mean from Toshirou to Gintoki…?
[page 43] H: That can't be the case. H: The first time I met him was on the day of our entrance ceremony. H: I don't think I've met him before that. H: But… is that true? G: I'll wait. H: Could it be that I've just forgotten? H: I want to remember. H: I feel like I have to remember. H: If there really is something to remember. H: Or do I just want that to be the case? H: I don't know. H: On his ring… H: Are there somebody's initials carved on it?
[page 44] H: Sakata. H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Who are you? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Really? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: I called his name like that?
[page 45] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, G: what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life…
[page 46] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *shock...*
[page 47] H: Right. H: I know him. H: I know Sakata Gintoki. H: Something as important as this… H: How could I forget… *grip* G: Hijikata-kun. H: Tch. H: Damn it…! *runs*
[page 48] H: Haa… H: Haa… *ring* *ring* H: Hey, where the hell are you? H: What? H: Heading back home from work? Where!? H: Whatever, just tell me! H: Huh? H: Near the park? Then right now I'm… G: Hijikata!
[page 49] G: Hey, what's up? H: Sakata… H: Gintoki. G: Hijikata? What's wrong? H: Sorry. G: Hm? H: I said I'll keep you from being alone, but… H: Sorry. G: … H: You've been in front of me all this time, but H: I didn't realize. I'm sorry. H: I've never even called your name properly. H: I'm really sorry,
[page 50] H: Yorozuya.
[page 51] G: Hijikata, you… H: Hey, Yorozuya… H: Can you put it on me, too? G: …
[page 52] H: Hah. H: It fits me perfectly. I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. I don't know who it belongs to. But…
[page 53] G: We finally meet, Hijikata. G: Don't cry. H: I'm just sorry for making you wait. H: Also, I'm not crying. G: You're totally crying. H: I'm not crying.
[page 54] Those faraway memories, bond, love. The miracle of being able to meet again.
[page 55] I won't let you be alone. I'll be by your side. To make you happy. To become happy. From now on, too, always.
[page 56] Together.
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tarotwithdanise · 2 years
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Why your other significant fall for you?
can be both applied for current and future one.
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SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.
💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account ([email protected])
© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work in any other social media platforms with or without my explicit permission.
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you can listen to 'got me started' by tini while you are reading or after you have done.
PILE ONE
please consider buying me a coffee here, thank you.
your relationship with them
It's pretty obvious here that you are not currently with this person right now, you are both in a separation. You will meet this person where there's a large sum of water but while you are in this separation progress your guardian angels are guiding you both to the right direction while you are far away from each other while if you are in literal separate i see a reconciliation will be happening again soon. In this separation process of the two of you, your guides are helping you out to recognize your truest self first and fill your hours of helpful and healthy activities for the two of you that will help of future relationship. You will discover commonalities and learn new things with this person, you can create a great intimacy with them by showing your real self and identity. You will discuss with them, some of your uncomfortable and risk experiences you had in the past and so this will serve in the end a great bond and an ensure healthy relationship.
main theme of this relationship : great bond with your partner.
what will they love about you
This person will love how you manage to make waves without them, you are confident and brave enough to face every situation. You may look like a foolish and may look like a failure but to be honest you make them think of a new way to love you more deeply. You might think you are not different from others but you are way more unique from their own eyes. You are someone who is creative and intelligent even though sometimes you literally want to give up on these things like from your goals and dreams but you always look for the bigger picture and you seek for balance. They also love how calm individual you are by handling every situation, even if though you may act as very childish sometimes. They see you as someone who is simple yet so challenging. I'm getting for some of you, are belong on the tall side of height, they will also love where you use your talents and someone who is planning very careful for their own projects and works so it can be somehow worth it and successful in the end. They will love how you bring spark and light into their boring life. The only thing they don't like about you is that you tend to overthink and have an explosive temper.
why do they fall for you
Oh boy, this person will gonna feel so damn energetic when they're with you. They gonna love to be with you all the time - from your presence to themselves who is quite confident when you are around this is because they can express themselves freely without any judgement. They afraid to express it to others because somehow they're terrified of judgemental people, one of the reason is that they think they are lacking of experiences since they might have past trauma dealing with this kind of issues. This is the reason why they gonna love, you are not really judgemental individual for them. In short, you are open-minded. You seems very understanding and open-minded person but i feel that you are not really fond of sharing your thoughts and opinions with others because you might think they gonna sabotage it.
This person will fall for your homebody and welcoming aura, you tend to stay at home that's why. You might be an introvert and someone who is very mature if i gonna compare to your real age. When this person fall for you, they gonna think that their dreams come true in real life and not gonna lie they might be dreaming of having a perfect relationship when they are in their youthful years unlike when they got older and mature.
When they're already matured person, they gonna lose those imagination and might not planning to have a family until you come into their life, in our out blue and change their perspective. This person will be heals over you, they fall so much to the point they gonna ask you to marry and have family with them that fast. I'm also hearing someone(this is you) is praying here to spend their older years with the person they gonna truly love and care for them as they do. Your prayers are heard by the heaven and they gonna fulfill it soon just have patience and don't rush with things. In addition, when you get married with this person you will experience the satisfaction of abundance and lavish security however there's a group of people here that will feel jealous about your relationship with your (future) partner.
extra messages :
"I love you, and that's the beginning and end of everything"- f.scott fritzgerald
this reading and pile was meant for you if you have or hear anything of the following words : moles, freckles, hands (small, plump & smooth) , birthday/life path number of 18 , 20 , 12 , 5, 16, 9, initials of G, H, S, C, E, K, O , reading this while you are in living room or family room. Someone who is casually watching tv, brown or amber eyes, you have a balance of feminine and masculine energy?, your name is inspired by nature and something related to water names rain, caroline, wade, kai, malik, vaarin etcetera.
💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account ([email protected])
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you can listen to 'lover' by taylor swift while you are reading or after you have done.
PILE TWO
please consider buying me a coffee here, thank you.
your relationship with them
This pile has a strong soulmate and true love connection. You are most likely meet/met this person through friends or in a social gatherings. When you actually meet this person for the first time — you will feel the sense of familiarity and comfort. There's also doubt here, where you kept only to yourself like "Does my soulmate really exist?" or "Will I ever meet them?" and "Are this tarot readers saying the truth after all or just sugar-coating me?" something along with these lines. I understand you questioning all of these readings but honey, it's true that you have a soulmate in this lifetime and for some of you already know this person and it seems like they passed on your life one time (can be an someone from your past like ex, childhood friend, an ex crush, fling, mu, etc..) or they can be someone who is from your past life in general. While, if this person is just around your circle and then the spark between the two of you is not yet started and still remain unrevealed. Perhaps, the beginning will be soon on set or if you haven't met this person like in at the very first time you both meet each other's. There's literally no romantic sparks not until when you both used to get to know each other way deeper and more know each other for a very long time, you two might have a story trope of friendship to lovers.
You'll have a lot of opportunity to explore your passion together, this giving me a slow progress yet it surely written by the stars type of relationship yk. This person will have genuine love for you as the time pass by (in their own pov this might be a realization) and you both will experiencing a lot of ups and downs with this relationship but you will surely overcome these issues. You both will have a true-soulmate love relationship. The two of you will cherish each other and will have a healthy and will commit a long term relationship to each other. In addition for singles only, true love is on its way to you soon, just be patient because it may take a lot of time like months or years to finally come.
I also getting that you will have or notice a lots of blessings coming on your way for the next upcoming months, pay attention to what your Angles are trying to say to you from angels numbers to significant events and dreams, they're trying to send some hints about this person.
main theme of this relationship : strong relationship, both will be super supportive to each other and likes to praise their partner most of the time.
what will they love about you
This person will love your duality, you are this type of individual who is the balance of feminine and masculine. Someone who act cute today and on the other day act as someone hot and sexy. Some of you might be a part of LGBTQ or if not you have a big respect for the LGBTQ+ people and community. This person will feel very secure with you to be honest because you don't look like a bad partner to them but rather you are someone who is a husband/wife material.
You are this type of individual where your first priority is your loved ones rather than anything else, they see you as someone who can settle a long term of commitment even you are busy at work. I see here that you two will live in a happy home life in the future, this house will have lots of wonderful memories and welcoming kind of aura, you and your partner are gonna be a good parent if ever — i see that you rarely fight each other and if ever, the you two have conflicts or fights, you two don't even want your own children hearing and showing it to them. You or your (future) lifetime partner will be the ones who will decorate the house as simple and may have many plants. Sorry this is the shortest pile however i tried to shuffle more cards for you but no cards are popping up so maybe it was not right time for you to know them way more deeper and might this person is blocking my energy to know about them more or they just really this mysterious, i want to know them more like you do but i don't think it's the right time, okay? Let me see on the next section why they fall for you and revealed those things.
why they fall for you
They will fall for your childishness, it's like you have this very youthful side within you — it's like you often tease others and smile wide each day yet you are a savage when dissing those people who hate your loved ones for example family, friends or even your favorite idols, you are this person who seems so freaking innocent but scary as hell. Another thing of my interpretation here is that you really love children or babies a lot(some of you might already have kid(s) and being a single parent?), you might even this type of individual who have baby fever yk where your stress reliever is watching baby videos online like for example in the social media's like instagram, facebook, tiktok, youtube etc.. They fall for your kindness because you like to give and provide to others without expecting anything back from them (this might be one of your habits and/or goals for some of you) — you have a big heart pile two especially to your loved ones even though they hurt you really bad, you can't deny the fact you still care for them because after all you still have the softest heart. They see you as someone who is inspirational and refreshing for other people that a must should follow.
They will fall for your curious personality, you always seek for answers and wanted to learn more in a specific field for example new language like french, korean, japanese, italian, arabic etc.. new skills or even ideas, it seems like you want your knowledge to expand. You will captured this person soul and heart. Lastly, this person will come on the right time so no need to no rush or feels urgent when it comes to love or goals. Time is running but every seconds must be cherish.
extra messages :
"our lives may not have fit together, but did our souls know how to dance." -k. towne jr.
this reading and pile was meant for you if you have , see or hear anything in the following words : kids playing around, letter, basketball, clumsy, helping, a boy, water signs scorpio, pisces and cancer (sun/moon/rising), a watch, initials of S, P, reading it when night time, friends talking, man whistling, single, learning new language, moving from one place to another, south place, light brown hair and blue or hazel eyes, with an age group from 18 years to about 30 years of age, in a room with air-condition is open.
💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account ([email protected])
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PILE THREE
please consider buying me a coffee here, thank you.
your relationship with them
Seems like you are calling and manifesting for a soulmate but the universe given you a twinflame instead, this person is whom you meant to marry and share your other half of life in this lifetime. You two is each other's past life companion that doesn't go to well or doesn't end well and today's present life you will reconnect to forgive each other and to heal each other soul. You will learn to forgive and will be each other's teacher — teaching each other with those things you haven't learn or discover yet. You will meet (or have met) this person through family or extended family, for some you pile three, you will meet them when you travel to a place where it was your really your big dreams on written on your bucket list to visited for(mostly european countries) or might be your honeymoon too. But as i see here, after the nuptial you both want to settle down in a countryside like, somewhere surrounded by nature and animals.
This person love language is physical touch, they literally not good at words or even using it as comforting for someone. However, if you discuss and said to this person that you need space to think and breath first for this relationship, they will do it without any hesitation and negative opinions nor giving up to you. This person is that kind of individual who treasure their loved ones, they might not good with words but they good how to keep treasure.
main theme of this relationship : stability and protection for each other.
what will they love about you
You are the serenity of their after storm experience, their healing and overall hope to everything. This person will fall with your hope and the way you inspired other people. Also you may come off as cold, intimidating and mysterious person to this individual at first however they will find themselves really curious about what's matter and happening about your life even though you show off as funny and friendly person to them and to other people. you are low-key private, you don't want other people to invade your privacy.
You also have this habit where you cut off people that no longer serving you anymore. This person will love that you have faith in everything and we'll committed from it.
why they will fall for you
Are you a savage? lol because one of the reason why this person fall for you is that because you are a savage individual. You come off as cool for them and doesn't give any sht to people since you think you don't owe them anything. You may have an rbf? I think this person will fall for you very fast like love at first sight. You could also meet (have met) them after a break up or while healing yourself from a heartbreak. They fall for you because they find you so interesting and you may have serious face or doesn't show any emotion or simply just mysterious person or you hide your true personality away from the public. By the time this person see you, they will having a thought of "this will be the one i'm going to marry and end up with" or you are someone who will complete them in general. They will also find your beauty as very attractive with their own eyes, you may also a flirt? that will make them fall harder. You can be also an old style or traditional person who doesn't like to keep up with trends like in fashion? They will feel happy and love whenever you are by their side, they always prefer a heart to heart conversation with you. You also give the best kisses or affection to them.
extra messages :
"I look for you everywhere, sometimes i stay awake thinking about you"
"you don't know how hard it was to let you go"
this reading and pile was meant for you if you have , see or hear anything in the following words : H, M, E, T, L, P, N, K, C, hearts, wings, feather, grasshopper, dragonfly, clock, umbrella, phoenix, keys on a ring, dragonfly, feeling of not enough, 1, 1111, 8, 3,18, 38, 5, 15 aries, taurus, scorpio, gemini, leo, and tuesday
💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account ([email protected])
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Made with love, Danise.
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neonganymede · 3 months
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[A scene from fyosiglai play until dawn, a hypothetical sequel to Bad Decisions
A link to the scene they're playing in Until Dawn. Warning for typical horror game violence! ]
“Well, that’s not an obvious death trap or anything,” Sigma muttered as he listened to the girl onscreen try to call out to the disembodied voice leading her the wrong way. “Just keep following Sam.”
Nikolai didn’t react at first, so Sigma glanced over to see if he’d dozed off. They’d been playing this game for a while, and he didn’t even want to think about what time it could be. Instead of snoozing, Nikolai wore a strange expression on his face, one that Sigma recognized as his I’m-about-to-do-Something-Stupid grin.
Immediately, Sigma’s stomach dropped.
“Nikolai, no.”
“Aw, but Sigma! What if that’s our friend down there? We have to investigate!” Nikolai insisted, his innocent tone completely at odds with the manic glee that brightened his eyes. He clicked on the decision to investigate the voice, and Ashley moved forward on the screen.
Sigma tried to stay calm as he watched Nikolai fearlessly march his character toward the voice, accompanied now by the jerking sound of someone or something pushing against a locked trap door. His heart lurched each time the wooden door did, frantic and violent, and Sigma’s attempt to swallow his nerves only ended up with the sour taste of anxiety clinging to his tongue. 
Nikolai paused in front of the door, taking a moment to snicker gleefully to himself. He turned his gaze toward Sigma, his smile mean and vicious, and Sigma had an immediate flashback to their playthrough of The Quarry, particularly the moment where Nikolai ‘convinced’ Fyodor to open the trap door even though it was the most obvious death flag in the game.
“It’s clearly a trap,” Sigma tried again, already resigned to poor Ashley’s fate. He was honestly surprised she had survived this long with Nikolai controlling her, but this seemed like it would be a particularly brutal way to go. “That’s not Jessica. You know that.”
Nikolai hummed to himself, rocking from side to side as he completely ignored Sigma’s plea to save Ashley from an unfortunate end. He clicked the button, and his character bent down in front of the trap door. “But it could be, Sigma! What if we’re killing poor Jessica by leaving her to die here?”
“It’s not Jessica!”
“It sounds like her!”
“You know these creatures can mimic human speech! It’s not her! Fedya, please tell him!” Sigma turned to Fyodor, expecting support from the least likely source.
Fyodor yawned, and Sigma could read clear boredom in his violet eyes. He seemed utterly impassive from within his blanket burrito, too tired for Nikolai’s nonsense or Sigma’s pleading. He likely didn’t care what happened here, likely hadn’t cared for a while, but maybe he would see reason and stop Nikolai’s antics before they got another one of their characters killed!
So when Fyodor leaned his head forward as though to listen to the voice and make a formal declaration, Sigma wasn’t sure why he was so surprised by the result.
“I think Nikolai’s reasoning makes perfect sense. That could be Jessica, or it could be a monster. We will never truly know unless we open the door… correct?” Fyodor’s eyes glittered with mischief, and his mouth curved into a devilish smile the moment Nikolai began cheering from the other side of the couch.
“Guess not! Let’s open the door!”
“Are you kidding me?!” Sigma grumbled, jostled back and forth by Nikolai’s incessant bouncing. He faced the screen again, his teeth caught between his lower lip as he watched Nikolai happily undo the latch to the trap door.
The door opened, and all went quiet. Then the creature burst through the opening, and Sigma yelped in time with Ashley. He watched in horror as the monster grabbed the girl by the face, but the screen cut away before he had to see her head ripped off. He still had to listen to the crunch, the thud, and he covered his eyes to keep from seeing her disembodied head falling into view.
“Oospie! Guess it was a trap!” Nikolai practically howled with laughter, and he kicked his feet out in unrestrained glee at the carnage he had caused.
“What do you mean, oopsie!? Of course it was a trap! Ugh! How is this game both better and worse than the other one?!” Sigma wailed, not looking at the screen again until he heard the trap door close with another resounding thud.
“Really? I thought The Quarry’s death scenes were so much better! More blood! More violence! And we got to chop somebody’s arm off!”
“I did like the werewolves better,” Sigma admitted as he hesitantly returned his attention to the screen.
The point of view had shifted to Chris now, so Nikolai happily handed the controller over to Fyodor, entirely oblivious to Sigma’s tired glare. Undeniably pleased with himself, he snuggled up to Sigma and began to cover the side of his face in a plethora of chaotic kisses.
“Aw, don’t worry, Sigma! I’m sure that won’t happen again!”
“It better not!”
“Listen to Kolya. Do you truly believe that this game would try to trick us with the same scenario when we just saw what happened to poor, sweet Ashley?” Fyodor teased as he followed the same path that Nikolai had.
To the same intersection. To the same pause, the same voice, the same decision—
Sigma sighed, defeated, as Fyodor’s click the option to investigate the voice. Nikolai’s feral giggles returned, and he leaned forward in anticipation of yet another gruesome decapitation.
And as Chris lumbered toward his own death, Sigma wondered why he’d agreed to play this after all the horrors he’d endured last time. Why had he expected this to be any different? Why hadn’t he learned his lesson?
“After all, what fool would make the same mistake twice?”
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