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writerslittlelibrary · 4 months

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I'll always be your safe space, drabble

masterlist

summary: when you come home overwhelmed from a long day of school, all you want is to feel safe and unwind. Lucky for you, your mom and dad are home to comfort you with whatever you need

pairing: Natasha x autistic daughter reader, Bucky x autistic daughter reader

warnings: none I think?

genre: fluff

words: 858

a/n: hello lovelies, this fic is based on how I experience my autism. please keep in my mind that while maybe your autism might not act this way, that doesn’t make it a wrong representation 🫶

(I was diagnosed by a therapist, please don’t hate on me. I’ve never posted about my autism before because I’ve been afraid of wrong accusations)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

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Everything had gone wrong today. You woke up with your pyjama pants twisted around your legs and your socks were half off. On top of that, you missed your first alarms, and so you had to wait till 7.30 to get out of bed, instead of 7.15.

Your days had started off terrible, and it was only getting worse. When you went to get dressed, you discovered the outfit you had planned in your head, was in the wash, and so you had to settle for a different one.

You ran out of your favourite breakfast yesterday, and Bucky had forgotten to buy it, so you had to settle with a bowl of simple cereal instead.

When you had gotten to school it seemed like everyone had it out for you.

The classes were too loud, and the teachers were annoying. Everytime you zoned out, or decided to doodle a bit to calm down, the teachers called you out and told you to pay attention.

Once you got to maths, the teacher had actually given you detention for doodling instead of listening to her lesson. You tried to explain that by doodling you could focus on what she was saying better, but she wouldn’t hear it.

Therefore, after the school day, which had already left you insanely overstimulated, you still had to sit through an hour of detention.

After you were finally done, you realised there were no busses driving at this time, so you had to call your mom to come pick you up. Of course, Natasha was happy to do so, and when she opened the door for you, she immediately sensed your mood.

She didn’t try to talk to you in the car, rather just handed you your headphones and allowed you to go in your own little bubble.

Once you got home, Natasha had opened your door, letting you out of the car, being careful not to touch you. After you two had gotten up to the apartment, she opened the door for you, allowing you to walk in first.

Bucky was at the kitchen island getting some work done, yet when you walked in he immediately shut his laptop.

He greeted you with a smile but you didn’t acknowledge him.

Instead, you kicked your shoes off, heading for the couch and letting yourself fall onto it. Natasha gave Bucky a glance, letting him know what was going on. Of course, he understood immediately, getting up and preparing you a cup of hot chocolate, that, according to you, only he could make properly so that it wouldn’t be too sweet or too watery.

Natasha took it upon herself to grab your favourite blanket and made sure to grab your some inside clothing, walking to the couch and letting you get changed.

You had specific inside and outside clothing, and after wearing your clothing outside, it was impossible for you to sit on any furniture in your room with your outside clothing still on.

After you had gotten changed, Natasha helped you get comfortable on the couch, finally starting to speak.

“Would you like to watch something, cuddle, or be alone for a moment?” Natasha asked you gently, wiping some stray hairs from your face. You shrugged, not being sure of anything at the moment.

After a minute or two Bucky walked into the living room, three mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He had made sure to use your hot chocolate mug, which was different from you cold chocolate milk mug, and he made sure to use the proper spoon.

He handed you the mug, and you smiled slightly, leaning forward to give him a kiss on his cheek.

He knew you weren’t up for speaking right now, and he didn’t dare think about pushing you. He always valued the physical affection you used to express your gratitude.

You sat up on the couch, your favourite blanket draped over you, comfortably weighing you down.

It was then that you decided you wanted to watch your comfort show, but you didn’t feel like talking, yet you didn’t know how else to express yourself. You though for a moment before turning to Natasha, looking at her with pleading eyes.

“Do you need something my love?” she asked, softly stroking your hair.

You nodded and motioned at the tv. Whether it was the fact that they were both highly trained assassins, or the fact that they were your parents, both of them immediately knew what you meant, and they didn’t hesitate to turn your comfort show on.

They waited for you to initiate the cuddling session, and they allowed you to snuggle into them when you were ready.

You put your now empty mug down and leaned your head over to Bucky, snuggling into his warm, strong arms and letting yourself feel safe in his embrace. You laid your legs over Natasha’s legs, and she smiled as she say you and Bucky being so close.

She might not ever admit it, but there was nothing in the world that would ever make her more happy than seeing her child snuggled up with her dad.

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st

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winndycakes · 2 months

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I did not wish to make this, I do not wish to bring bad light to others, so I am doing everything I can in this statement to keep it as vague as possible to grant others the same privacy I should have. But because my privacy was not respected I have no choice but to come forward with this.

If you know what I am talking about, then this is my side of things. If you don't know what I am talking about, then please move on.

(Also to note, I realize what day I am posting this on. This is absolutely NOT a joke.)

To preface this. My dad died suddenly Feb 26th. I cannot begin to detail what it feels like to lose him, after I've lost many others, to try and handle my emotions and grief while also handling the logistics of his belongings and estate, all this while having to write this on top of it. If I come across as intense, this is why.

I was in a discord server when it first opened. I dedicated a lot of time, energy, art and passion to it. I was even a mod at one point but stepped down due to my own reasons.

While there, we had an anonymous survey posted to gather information from the community about the server, what we could do to improve, what was liked and so on. Instead, some used it as a means to anonymously complain about members. I was a target of these complaints.

A quick note. This server was made within a community that has suffered MANY hardships due to anons. Keep this in mind.

One of the rules is that if you have a personal grievance with another member, to try to resolve it through DMs before coming to a mod or to even send in a ticket.

I must be clear; I was NEVER DMed by anyone how I made them uncomfortable. Not once. Nor were these complaints directly messaged to the mods. This was all through the survey (I will touch up more on this later).

I and other staff/mods that used to be on the team suggested we remove the anonymity. It's too risky for it to be abused, because as noted earlier, this community has suffered a lot through abuse from anons. This suggestion was ignored.

Now, I suppose I should say what the complaints were about. I was told I made others uncomfortable due to, and I am paraphrasing here; "talking over others, redirecting conversations back to myself and my ocs, and making too many jokes and insults about characters."

I will also say. I am autistic. What was mentioned are signs of someone with autism. My dad was autistic. I do not bring this up to deflect or excuse anything, merely to give further context.

I want to explain a bit of my process when I interact with others, in this case especially pertaining to an online space.

When I am talking with someone, anyone, I try to be as inclusive and welcoming as I can be. Saying hello, how they’re doing, that sort of thing. But a conversation is a two way street. If I don’t get a reply or any sort of means to keep the conversation going, I move on. That’s just… how talking goes. I can get very passionate in talking to folks, especially friends and things in line with my interests. It’s hard for me to notice if folks are uncomfortable in person, online it is impossible to tell. I need people to tell me directly if I am doing something uncomfortable and what it is, and if I can fix it.

My process for ocs is this: I see someone talking about their oc, they say something that reminds me of one of mine, then I share my oc. This is not to direct the conversation to me, but to share in it, it is in conjunction. I want to learn more of yours and I do that best by sharing mine. I cannot know if this isn't what you want if I am not told. And I wasn't.

I like to make jokes about characters, analyze them, critique them. I try to do this in a way that makes it clear this isn't an insult to those who like the character(s). But again, I need to be told directly by someone if I need to stop or tone it down. I would only be told sparingly by folks, and when I would, of course I'd stop, do my best to tone it down. But again, I was rarely told directly by people.

What is being described as my crimes are simply the experience of being autistic.

I cannot control it. I cannot stop it. I try to be as inclusive, warm and welcoming to all I come across. You do not HAVE to like me. But if you don't, just ignore me. You HAVE to learn to ignore people who you just… don't like. You have to learn to ignore pet peeves or to reasonably talk to the person. That's life.

So, when I received the above message, I was furious. I was at my dad’s apartment, cleaning out his stuff, and dealing with some harrowing emotions when I got this. I responded that getting this was extremely poor timing and yes, I was angry. But the one who sent this KNEW my dad died. They had seen me post about it, they acknowledged it, and still decided to message me. Who wouldn’t be angry?

Because of what I had been messaged, and the timing, I had decided to go to the owner of the server. I did not feel like it was appropriate for a mod, any mod, to message me about something that is a personal issue that folks should have messaged me themselves (and again, it is listed in the rules that things SHOULD be talked out privately between members before a mod gets involved), in a time that has been hell on earth for me.

I explained to the server owner what all happened with my feelings on the matter. I said that regardless, I would leave the server, because this was something that no one, absolutely no one, should experience. I requested for anything I contributed to the server to be removed, for I no longer felt comfortable for folks to use my art who could be the very same ones pettily using an anonymous survey to speak ill of me. So I sent my message, waited, and got a response.

I do not have anything against the server owner, but there are a few things that I must address with their response as well, because some are factually incorrect. There is full admittance to the complaints received through the anonymous survey, most recently at that. This goes counter to the rules stated that members should resolve private disputes amongst themselves first. (Again please note the screenshots of the rules.)

While perhaps not all of the mods knew of my dad’s passing, but enough DID that they should have known better. I posted briefly in the server in a slow thread so it could be better seen by people, including the mods. I had posted on tumblr as well. But the claim is no one saw it.

Again. This is just not true. Look to the above screenshots.

I do not have a screenshot of when I had sent the message initially in the server of my dad’s passing (I apologize for this), but the point being is that people knew. Another member messaged me in DMs to give their condolences. While I am and have been open about his passing, I also tried my best to not talk too much about it in the server as to bring down the mood, and I sought out the server and talked there as a source of comfort. Saying this was not clear to anyone, is false.

Now, I am sorry that I made people uncomfortable, it was never my intention to, and I will take fault in that. That isn’t what I mean to address in all this. The issue is; if people were uncomfortable, they needed to follow the rules and come to me DIRECTLY stating such, NOT give these complaints through an anonymous survey. And that I should NOT have been told during such an awful period. How can I take this at face value when I am not offered the same?

I wish to point out as well, why I kept bringing up the anonymous survey, and to bring back a note I made earlier.

There is a great deal of falsehood in using an anonymous survey to gather information, when this community has experienced a lot of hardship from anons. I have seen many people torn down and even chased out of this community and others because of people hiding behind anon. Creators, fans, and yes members, mods and even the server owner have all been victim to negativity from anons.

Now, I also must bring attention to this.

This is a screenshot I was sent of another mod posting, after I left. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY. This is why I feel the need to make this statement. Giving details like this is completely unnecessary, and with this said after I left is unacceptable.

I am sorry to be redundant, but I truly am sorry if I ever did make people uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to make friends and share in the joy in creating art and characters with others. To share space in a community with something I truly found enjoyable. It’s why I’d get enthusiastic whenever OC’s were brought up and I’d share mine. I also wanted to share joy in the topic of the server, and yes some of that for me IS making jokes about characters or even giving critique.

I am not saying any of this to bad mouth or slander anyone. I say all of this to express my side of things. Someone who is grieving the loss of their dad, and so many others who came before him that are making me remember now because of his passing.

#winndy serious

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invpulse · 7 months

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I haven't seen a lot of discussion about RSD when it comes to ADHD discussions, so I thought I would do the honors since it's been affecting me for many years and I'd like people to know more about it!

I have had a diagnosis for ADHD but was never told- instead learning I had autism through therapy but still having some behaviors that I could never explain that just Happened.

I learned I had ADHD over the summer, and with that, severe rejection sensitive dysphoria.

before reading, please keep in mind that this is mostly talking from personal experience and some skimmed research! not experiencing RSD doesn't mean you do/don't have ADHD, and it may not appear like how it appeared for me. I don't only have autism + adhd either, so those may also contribute to any differences! ^^

RSD is the immense emotional pain after being criticized, rejected, or even teased (ignore my misspell in the panel). This rejection can be real or perceived, and we react like this because it hurts.

The pain can manifest as aggression, bringing on symptoms of depression (thoughts of s/h, isolation, demotivation, etc) and anxiety/panic attacks.

it can cause physical aliments like the above. For me, it causes my heartrate to skyrocket, heart palpitations, the feeling of being in a crisis, and extreme shaking to occur along with stomach pain.

(In fact, right now I'm going through it because making a post talking about this, despite having & dealing with it, makes me scared of other's opinions on it.)

RSD can also take the form of avoiding situations, people, or conversations where rejection or criticism is very possible.

Like other types of dysphoria, it is out of our control and hard to manage. It can last from days to weeks to months, all depending on both the trigger* and the individual.

I had a RSD episode that was on-and-off for a little over a year or two; getting more tame and bearable as it slowly drifted and stopped haunting my mind with the incident.

Compared to the other times my RSD was set off, this moment was a rather big moment in my life and ended up permanently changing me moving forward - which can be the reason why it lasted so long.

Despite how unbearable it can get, there are some ways to cope with it & lessen the effect it has.

Communicate - If you need time to process something that's told to you, you should say so (as difficult as it is). Tell the person(s) involved about your RSD, how you need time to digest information like this and take some time to relax. Trying to respond to the information while going through the head of the dysphoria will be very rough and might not be what you truly want to say.

Distract - This is really useful for me personally! Do something that grabs your attention or occupies your mind. One of RSD's main symptoms is rumination, thinking of something over and over again. I usually listen to music, draw, or play a game that won't frustrate me - like minecraft! (i'd say rain world but some of you would call me a maniac /lhj)

Perspective - This may require some communication, but it can really help and connect with others. See what the involved people thought / perceived, explain, talk. This doesn't always have the chance to end in rainbows and rekindling but at least you understand. Sometimes simply hearing the person explain their own side is enough to ease my RSD, being able to have someone explain themselves to me so i can understand them better.

I also wanna point out the "don't take it personally" thing that people try to use to deal with it isn't something i agree with since we're going to take it personally at first regardless. Later on, not really, but you're trying to cope with the symptoms... telling someone (or yourself) that they're too sensitive & over-reacting is the worse thing you could do.

With time, you can even begin to build up your 'armor' and be able to sustain yourself in situations you might get hurt in. Of course, some things may be able to sneak past and hurt you more than you expect, but at the end of the day, you're trying your best to go about it the best you can while taking so many blows. you're doing great.

OK i dont have a lot more to add so if anyone else would like to talk about their experiences, please feel free! Character showcased here was my beloved fursona Shiki! i'm just a little neurodivergent + black artist from new york :]

hope you enjoyed it! sorry for the long post </3

#long post #rsd #adhd rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria #neurodiversity #digital art #digital illustration #sfw furry #furry art #digital drawing #furry character #furry oc #furry artist #procreate #furry

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lovelybrooke · 11 months

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Do you have any headcanons for what hobie would be like with a person he considers to be his younger sibling having autism? Like he’s older than them and they’re like a little sibling to him. To be more specific, they really like having a routine, are sensitive to loud noises, constantly stims by pacing, and is socially awkward and tend to feel like an alien around people

Hobie with an Autistic reader (Platonic yandere Hobie x reader).

I'll be completely honest, I don't have Autism so if anything in this post seems offensive in any way, please notify me and I'll take it down immediately. I tried my best, so please keep that in mind while reading.

Check out my other works here: Masterlist

Hobie takes your place as big brother very seriously, regardless of if you were autistic or not. He is very socially aware and easily can tell when you're overwhelmed and need a break. If you're showing any signs of distress, he takes you out of the situation immediately and helps you calm down.

While Hobie is a very random person and doesn't stick to one think often, he doesn't mind going about your specific routines with you, especially if it's a day where you need extra assistance. He doesn't mind doing the same thing over and over, because he knows how much you need to do your routines.

Music is a big part of Hobie's life, but he understands that his style of music might be too much for you. So, he involves you in his pastimes in other ways. You help him write the lyrics for his songs and on days where he doesn't feel like blaring out eardrums with his guitar, he'll play you songs at a volume you can enjoy. If you're feeling up to it, he'll even teach you how to play. You can bet that if you're into certain bands or styles of music, he's learning how to play their songs just to make you happy.

Hobie is not afraid of tell someone off if they are making you uncomfortable. If someone is being too loud, he gives you his headphones before telling them to be quiet. If someone makes fun of you for getting too excited about something, he tells them to fuck off because they're ruining your fun. If someone bad mouths you when you're not around, Hobie is the first to defend you. He's fiercely protective of you because it's his nature, not just because you're autistic. He can't stand people disrespecting the people he loves, and that extends to you.

Hobie knows how it feels to not belong and often feels other than. While a part of him is proud of his unique status, he knows it can be isolating. His heart hurts when he sees you genuinely try to open up to someone only to get shot down or your words be misinterpreted. It's why Hobie tries so hard to understand you.

Hobie is one of the few yanderes that doesn't keep you from having a life outside of him. In fact, Hobie is incredibly happy whenever you make progress in something you've been struggling with, like social situations. If you come to him talking about a new friend you made, he'll be so happy because he knows how stressful specific social situations might be.

One great thing about Hobie in this scenario is that he doesn't treat you like a child. He treats you like a person first, while also not completely ignoring your autism since he knows it's an integral part of you. He doesn't get annoyed at your stimming or ranting about your interests because those behaviors are an aspect of you, and that's what he loves about you. He doesn't try and change you and you don't try and change him, it's a perfect dynamic in his mind.

Though, like any big brother, Hobie can get very protective of you. He doesn't want to take his life away from you, but he can't help but get nervous whenever your put in situations where he knows a bad outcome is possible. Even if you explain to him that you'll be fine and that you can't constantly be coddled, he still feels like it's his responsibility to make sure you're doing okay, even if you're perfectly fine.

Hobie excuses his behavior by claiming that he's your brother and he knows best. He knows you're your own person, but he's just doing what he thinks is right for you. Manipulation his how Hobie gets around a lot of your questions about his behavior. He just wants you to be happy, so you should be questioning is protective nature or defensiveness, it's how big brothers act.

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A/n: Again, I'm not autistic so please inform me if any of this was offensive/incorrect. I really hope you enjoyed.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #spider man across the spider verse #platonic yandere spiderverse #platonic spiderverse #yandere spiderverse #yandere spiderman #hobie brown

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mewtwo24 · 10 months

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MAWS - An Allegory for Autism, too?

God like…there have been so many amazing posts about maws right now, and I don’t want to detract from any of them because I absolutely agree with how powerful an allegory the show is in regards to being an immigrant/alien.

But at the same time I just. I have been literally losing my mind at how autistic Clark feels. And at this point I can’t tell if I’m seeing things that aren’t there or he really is just so god damn ‘tism it makes his experiences of being othered two- and triplefold.

Like. Okay. He keeps acting on what he thinks is just or morally right in the moment, but sometimes struggles to see the social signals (or bigger picture) that might indicate somebody is deceiving him. If he does realize he’s being deceived, he does the right thing anyway even if it’s to his detriment--because he can’t accept looking away from a problem he might have resolved. Helping someone, no matter how difficult or unreasonable.

Okay.

When he’s trying to protect himself from Lois. He tells the truth in the most evasive way humanly possible, and because he thinks she’ll find him dashing from saving people he comes off as dissembling. He is convinced that he has charmed her to no end with his alter ego since he’s Such A Super Cool Strong Normal Guy as Superman, and that she couldn’t possibly be suspicious any longer because he told the truth. Lois wants to throttle him for lying. He has no idea as to why that is--and is openly surprised that she’s upset.

This is not even touching the fact that he lived for YEARS with Jimmy and literally destroyed stuff in front of him by accident, and never once thought Jimmy knew some shit was going on with him. Jimmy, being subtle and considerate, didn’t snitch because he was a homie. Clark does not notice in the slightest. ‘IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE SCREWS’ ASS.

This also not touching on the “How did you know you were bulletproof?” “I didn’t. I just knew you weren’t.” Despite pervasive signs that his powers weren’t operating as they should in that area. Despite knowing Lois was still upset with him and may not forgive him, could hurt him with what she knew.

Okay.

I'm going to put the rest under a cut because I never go on short tangents:

In a lot of New Age illegitimate medicine and psychological constructs, autistics are often conceptualized as people with ‘special powers’ or religious enlightenment in accordance with some manifestations of their disability. Clark’s superspeed and strength and heat vision can EASILY be seen as an extension of that. However, what I really want to talk about is the latest episode’s super hearing.

Most autistics have sensory issues, both with textures but also with hearing. A very common surprise for undiagnosed individuals, for example, is that they use music and headphones to stim in a more socially acceptable way. Particularly loud noises or constant loud chatter can cause distress otherwise, and having constant meltdowns/catatonia reactions isn’t feasible for survival.

Of all his powers that might be a weakness I think it is a fascinating--and honestly, deliberate--choice that speaks volumes (please pardon the pun). Because that’s the horrible thing about having sensory overload with your hearing; you don’t always have a choice as to what you’re subjected to. Ear-piercing alarms can flare at any moment, people can play what they consider harmless pranks, or day to day fighting to focus can make every sound feel like nails on a chalkboard from the overstimulation.

While Clark is able to distinguish voices if he knows what to look for, lack of sleep and rest tremendously weaken his ability to focus. I noticed that as the episode wore on, there was a distinct and exponential progression. At first, when he overdid it and didn’t sleep for a day or so, he still managed to operate without hurting himself or risking others. But as he kept pushing himself without rest to answer every cry for help, he grew progressively and sharply overwhelmed. He quickly became overstimulated by the mounting flurry of oncoming stimuli (e.g. the truck about to hit someone, dodging people around him, the relentless super hearing flooding in) and began to react in ways that were careless and random.

Though his powers appear supernatural and inexhaustible, we are forced to face the fact that he still possesses hard limits. Even if autistics seem more capable than NTs at points, there is a reason “high-functioning” became an obsolete terminology with which to differentiate people on the spectrum ‘who seemed to be above average’. Because just as we see Clark forcing himself to exert his superpowers until his body collapses to prove he is good, autistics also push themselves to be useful/helpful/amenable/inobtrusive in order to be accepted as something not other/monstrous.

(Please note, by the way, towards the end of the newest episode--his power comes out in a flash of blue, overpowering light as the last of his strength begins to wane. A surefire sign that he was truly at the end of his endurance before he’s knocked unconscious.)

The fact that Clark starts to learn how to listen in for people so fast, but also doesn’t think to tune them out (if he can) adds even more to the first point too. Because he can’t turn it off in full, it means he has no way to ignore people who are hurting no matter how small--and for him that places the cognitive burden of making a choice. And he can’t choose not to help people.

Okay.

Clark’s incipient refusal to discover more about himself, the sheer overwhelmed look he had as a child--but also as an adult--at the prospect of having to rewrite and re-evaluate everything he thought he knew about himself. There is no excitement, no positive anticipation. When he chooses to face it, it’s because he perceives a kind of responsibility to better understand/control his powers to help more people. And it’s because his friends support him that he ever finds the will to do it. He has no desire to acknowledge or define his otherness head-on. (Once again, he can only act with courage on behalf of others and/or to ultimately win their acceptance.)

GOD. AND. AND how he tells Lois how much she made him “come out of his shell” and forced him to face the world, to stop living in his formerly simple bubble. How autistics instinctively hate breaks in routine and the unknown and the horrible ordeal of change, especially if they have trauma linked to it. But he was trying because yeah, as people we need new and varying stimuli to be happy and healthy. To be alive is to change, whether one likes it or not.

How part of the reason Lois is so dear to him is because she makes him feel capable and safe when he has to face the truth of his difference and change. (THIS IN THE CONTEXT OF THE LATEST EPISODE. “CLARK, JUST TRY TO BE NORMAL”. I’M EATING MY SHIRT. THE ENDLESS OSCILLATION BETWEEN HIS DESPERATION TO BE NORMAL BUT ALSO STRIVE FOR MORE, AND HOW LOIS ANSWERS BOTH THOSE WARRING CALLS WITHIN HIM JUST BY BEING HERSELF.)

SCREAMS.

Okay.

The most recent episode being a direct result of Lois and Jimmy’s acceptance of his alter ego Superman. Because of course Superman is the preferred variation of himself. Everyone loves Superman. Everyone finds him cool and heroic and dazzling. Jimmy gets social media acclaim that he enjoys from it. Lois has a Cool Guy Boyfriend, and she told him outright she thinks he’s amazing in the last episode when he complained about being weird.

Why go back to being Clark? Under the unending burden of his new super hearing, he seems to be so drowned in voices that he forgets a very important one: Lois. She loved him as Clark long before Superman existed, the lumbering gentle giant who always treated people with dignity and respect was more than enough for her to fall in love. And that’s why it’s so poignant, but also so unbelievably devastating when she asks him to be normal in the newest episode.

Because what she was trying to say was “Please stop overexerting yourself, you’re hurting yourself. This is only going to end badly if you don’t rest and think about how you want to move forward. You’re enough as you are. You’re enough as Clark Kent.” She was trying to tell him that Superman isn’t all that matters, that Superman is a person with feelings and needs and vulnerabilities, just like anyone else.

What makes this miscommunication so powerful to me is that it’s clear Clark’s ability to differentiate has become confused ever since Lois and Jimmy accepted him. How much of him is Clark, how much of him is Superman? Before, when he had decided Superman was too much for him to handle and something that needed to stay hidden, he knew how to behave day to day. But now that the aforementioned operating precept has been dismantled by their acceptance, what is his blueprint now? To be freed of his chains, but to be too afraid to leave the cage--he becomes so openly and rapidly lost. It was easier when he didn’t have to choose or think about it.

Okay.

Like. I can see how it could be construed as a result of his inexperience, right? He’s never met intergalactic beings, so how would he know? He only just unlocked his powers as Superman, so of course he’s clumsy about it. He wasn’t a born fighter or a trained one, so of course he’s going to be a little green when he’s in combat.

But that’s the thing for me. It’s not that he doesn’t always have the time to re-evaluate, or strategize, or notice he’s being deceived. He just has such an unwavering sensibility, this one-track sense of “I am strong. So I must protect. And to do that I need to act.” And a lot of times this is as far as his thinking goes. And if that isn’t the most autistic shit imaginable, I’m really not sure what is.

The overshot clumsiness of his movements and occasional awkwardness, how he’s learned to smooth that over by being helpful to people or meek to be accepted. Like. I swear to god this show is going to kill me.

So much of the reason he tanked so badly in this episode was because he was using a broken coping mechanism to its absolute extreme. And instead of listening to his bodily and mental signals that he could no longer sustain helping every single person in the world, he just forces himself to push through. He’s so desperate to prove he’s a good person and belong, he doesn’t notice that it’s literally destroying him from the inside.

The mask that is Superman, and the unmasking that is the mindful and imperfect Clark Kent. That everyone adores Superman and wants him to fulfill their every need, no matter what it costs him to be that person. The fact that the moment they learn he’s an alien or see the raw extent of his power (pushed to unsustainable limits in desperation) he becomes a horrible, inhuman threat and a monster. The fact that it’s his friends and his family who see him unmasked as Clark and love him just as he is, that they care little for what Superman can give them because Clark is already enough. That they love Clark precisely BECAUSE he is somebody with weaknesses and flaws and imperfections, that adore his quirks and endearing fumbling.

The horrific reality that the more he leans into his masking out of desperation to be accepted, the more he estranges and incites violent rejection in the people around him. Even if he wants to do the right thing, he is so staunchly and too openly opposed to the malice of others that they hold grudges from the stark, exposing contrast. How choosing to be Superman can endanger and estrange the people who love Clark, isolating him even further. And yet when he is unmasked and acts like himself, he is hardly ever taken seriously or people take advantage of his meekness/willingness to help.

The first episode. When he just keeps chanting ‘be normal be normal be normal’ and the more pressure he puts on himself, the more he hyperfixates and the less his actions align with his intentions. The way he can never do both and can only manage to sustain one at a time. The core conflict that’s ever present; the desire to be ordinary under the reality that you are extraordinary, with the agonizing knowledge that you never had the choice to live under so much difference and scrutiny.

The never-ending autistic battle of being socially acceptable to the detriment of your greatest virtues: your passion and your honesty. To be left feeling empty and drained despite your success, no closer to self-satisfaction or feelings of human camaraderie. The reality of being always forced to choose between one bad option and a worse one, that the only choice you have is what you’re willing to sacrifice. That people will toy with your vulnerabilities no matter how desperately you try to conceal them, how your weaknesses will be a game or a spectacle to the rest of the world.

How one has to wonder to what degree the Superman witnessed in Lois’ memory capsule was pushed to the very brink. Or the pointed lack of context: what brought him to such extremes, what could inspire so much indifference to the pain of others? How, while it is frightening, he is a person just like anyone else--who possesses the potential for raw good and raw bad. Why is it that everyone so easily believes that his potential will be negative? Why is it so difficult to have faith in someone who is trying so hard to be good?

The irony of Clark’s predicament, that the sincere fulfillment he feels upon helping others is precisely what inspires fear in those who insist on their comparative self-serving normality.

“What’s your angle!? What’s in it for you?” “Trust me, kids. Nobody puts on that big a show of being good. Unless they’re hiding something…All he wants is to pull cats out of trees? Yeah, I’m not buying it.” “He’s not normal like you and me….If he really wanted to hurt us, what could we do about it?...Just him having a bad day could spell the end for us…Well, not all of us share your faith.” “You want to be number one? You don’t get there by writing fluff. You go for blood. That’s something Perry never understood. Do you?”

The unbearable but inevitable fact that being autistic is a perpetual experience of loss. If you are not selfish or egocentric like the rest of the world, you are naive and weak. If you exhibit an ounce of self-centered desire or emotion, you are something that must be eradicated for the greater good. No amount of good that you accomplish can ever balance the scales of what has been lost or spent to sustain you, because at the end of the day your life is considered one without value. It is irrelevant that entire military regimes have collectively decimated and endangered thousands for their so-called “results”, because you as a sole actor are so much easier to blame and trample.

The enduring fact, especially in a culture so absorbed in easy answers and harsh binaries, that the human mind does not care for the struggle of truth.

Anyway if you need me I’ll be clawing at the walls thanks

#my adventures with superman #maws #i just haven't been able to stop thinking about this #its like the newest episode made it impossible to question any longer #i hope this made sense to someone???? other than me #is it obvious that this weeks episode made me cry a little haha #stares into the distance So Normally #the way experiencing maws clark kent can be something so personal...

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gab-has-adhd · 3 months

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HELLO, I AM CURRENTLY IN A GREAT NEED OF HELP ⚠️⚠️⚠️

PLEASE STOP SCROLLING FOR A MINUTE AND READ THIS POST 🙏🏼

Thank you.

My name is Gabriel, I'm a 28 years old disabled agender person. I have ADHD, BPD, generalized anxiety, chronic depression and untreated PTSD. I am an artist, and I have no other job besides this one, for now.

This is my girlfriend, Olivia. She is 30, agender just like me, disabled just like me. She has BPD as well as untreated PTSD, and she is autistic.

For the last three years, we were surviving thanks to a monthly allowance she was given due to her being disabled and unable to find or keep a job. This allowance has been stopped due to her being judged "not disabled enough" and "capable of finding a job". She isn't. I don't want to give too many details about our life, but she is currently deeply incapacitated and cannot work. She has asked to get her autism diagnosed on a psychiatric level, which is necessary for her to be given the proper care for her issues.

We will now be given an allowance for job seekers. But we have learned today that this allowance, for the next two months, will be much less than it usually is because of complicated details I do not have the right mind to explain right now.

We will be given around 700€ for a month. 1400€ total, for the months of March and April. You can imagine how 1400€ for two months is a ridiculously low amount of money for two people.

I will try to find a tiny job that is compatible with my own struggles. In the meantime, getting help from other sources will really, really come in handy.

I AM AN ARTIST. I DRAW DIGITAL ILLUSTRATIONS, AND I AM OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS. ALTHOUGH I AM STILL STRUGGLING TO GET OUT OF A HIATUS, I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO GET MORE COMMISSIONS. HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES OF WHAT I CAN DRAW.

AND HERE IS MY PRICE CHART:

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT OR ON @lubelzoldyck-artworks , YOU CAN ALSO SEND ME A MAIL AT [email protected] 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

IF YOU ARE UNINTERESTED IN COMMISSIONNING ME, PLEASE CONSIDER D0NAT1NG, EVEN A SINGLE BUCK CAN HELP. YOU CAN D0NAT3 ON THIS LINK:

IF YOU CANNOT COMMISSION NOR D0N4T3 (AND I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY) PLEASE, PLEASE AT LEAST SHARE THIS POST AROUND. REBLOG IT, SHARE IT ON OTHER WEBSITES, GIVE IT VISIBILITY, I AM PRACTICALLY BEGGING HERE. PLEASE HELP US.

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oscillating-fan-whore3 · 3 months

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☆Hi☆

I'm Elliot, the depressed teen behind this blog :3 I'm transmasc and use he/they prns, please respect that

I AM ALSO A MINOR, IF UR A P0RN/K1NK BLOG UR GONNA BE BLOCKED

(It also takes me a hella long time to respond to dms I'm sorrrry😭😭😭)

My old blogs both got t worded (rip oscillating-fan-whore and oscillating-fan-whore2) (next time I'll be oscillating-fan-whore4!!)

This is a triggering blog, BLOCK DONT REPORT. Reporting makes my mental health worse and doesn't do jack shit, you can't report everyone, we always come back

(Note: nsfw adjacent posts are mentioned below cut, if you are an adult on this blog please read that section <3)

ed sh blog but also I post vents and abt my life outside ed and sh too :D

(More under cut)

Anyways now that we've hopefully weeded everyone who doesn't like it out, hi guys ^^

☆I've had my ed since July of last year (23) but sh since 5th grade

☆I have (somewhat?) Diagnosed depression and anxiety and very possible autism (AKA I've been told by many people that I'm autistic, have like every trait, scored high on every pre screening test, but my mom refuses to believe it whenever someone tells her [which has happened multiple times but yk] ANYWAY-)

☆tics (probably tourettes but never dx)

☆no one irl knows

☆prone to typos

☆EMOTICON USER :3 :D ^^ :) :]

☆active red bracelet wearer

☆American :( [help us]

☆nebularomantic and sexual but no idea abt who I'm attracted to 💀 just attracted to my partner (? It's complicated) so somewhere around androsexual

☆suuuuuper Hannibal (nbc) fixated rn so like of you see a reference in my blog don't be surprised

☆sweetsp0>>>>meansp0 (unless it's good)

☆Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal NY is THE ED song trust

☆I'll make a tag list for recipes, lemme know if you want in :D

☆I won't send bcs coaches fuck off

☆open to an4 buddies tho :3

☆ngl a lot of posts about the state of my stomach (she hasn't been okay in years <3)

☆asks are welcome and encouraged (just don't be a bitch)

☆DMs are open but so is my right to block <3<3

☆I do occasionally post something NSFW adjacent abt my experiences in life (becuz I'm a horny teen with a partner get it together people) please keep in mind that I am still a MINOR and all of those posts have an 18+ DNI. 18+ are welcome to interact with every other post, but it's weird and uncomfortable on those kinds of posts. Me posting NSFW adjacent stuff is NOT an excuse to sexually harass me, especially if you are an adult.

[Stats]

Height: 5'4"

SW: >175 lbs

HW: >175 lbs

LW: 128 lbs (probs less let's be honest)

CW: 129 lbs (may will b my month)

UGW: 90 lbs (40 kg)

Bodyfat Percentage: 24.5% (moderately lean/ average)

BMI: 21.5 (Healthy)

[Current goals]

☆UGW by the start of next school year

☆111 lbs by end of/beginning January May (officially underweight for my BMI [18]) (or at least county fair)

[I AM SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!]

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teencopandthesourwolf · 10 months

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THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN EVERY EPISODE OF TEEN WOLF EVER

part i (part ii HERE)

17 different heart attack-inducing storylines all overlapping with one another with some genuinely excellent concepts and lots of cool af lore that's executed so terribly it convinces you that whomever is in charge must surely be a hamster

werewolves and teenagers alike with some seriously debilitating mental conditions running around like they're contestants on the wheel of fortune

scott pining loudly over allison, pre or post allison's death, regardless of who he is dating at the time

beautiful beautiful derek "my whole family died and i'm being soso brave about it and trying to make myself a new one by collecting teen misfits and putting them in a plastic tupperware box but forgetting to poke holes in the lid bc i'm on the spectrum and trying to process and deal and grow as a person is really tough when life keeps getting harder instead of easier and will somebody please PLEASE just give me a break" hale.

deaton being a smug little twat

STILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTI

greenberg being the star of the show

lydia slaying

everybody apart from stiles running around like headless chickens while stiles tries to tell everybody what they need to do but none of them ever listen to stiles so stiles has to do something drastic and dangerous then everybody is all like OMG STILES WHY DID YOU DO THAT THAT'S SO DRASTIC AND DANGEROUS WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU and stiles has to try his best not to eviscerate every single fucking one of them bc he is a good friend to scott

jeff davis doing his doggone constipated best to debunk sterek by writing dialogue/giving directions that hilariously just ardently confirm sterek even more with each epically gay scene

scott sending out thee biggest punch me i'm a motherfucker vibes

AUTISM

danny mahealani stealing the hearts and minds of young and old alike

dylan o'brien being extremely kind by trying his absolute best not to show up all the other actors with his scene-stealing, oscar-worthy performances every second he is on screen and failing miserably.

scott ignoring his phone

mama mcall being so real and a milf

derek's eyebrows being an actual main character

scott auditioning for a new cutting edge reality tv show show called: GIVE ME A NEW PERSONALITY BEFORE SOMEBODY ENDS MY LIFE FOR ME!

boyd being better than everybody else

57% of scenes being filmed in beacon hills high school

41% of scenes being filmed in beacon hills hospital

peter hale, cunt, rocking your world whether you like it or not

(part ii HERE)

#feel free to add on!#emo lycanthrope romantic comedy my beloved <3 #teen wolf #the one and only #show of all time #gay werewolves #freaks and geeks with magic #the biles bilinski diaries #and scott #lol #sterek #team woof #tw meta #every episode of teen wolf ever #tcats posts #a wolf and his queueman

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littlest-bugz · 6 months

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. introduction post .

Hello!

My name is BUGZ ! I am a bodily 21 year old [polyfragmented] DID system. We collectively have ADHD, Autism, OCD and a few other comorbid disorders. They all affect our day to day, but we will likely only post about our experiences as a DID system. Collectively we use they/he/she pronouns!

Get to know us more below the cut!

[ byf and dni also below cut ]

About Us !

OUR FREQUENT FRONTERS !

Things in our system change frequently!

Currently, we collectively identify as transmasc, bigender, panalterous, omni oriented DemiAroAce, and ambiamorous ! This is an agreed upon identity the entirety of The Crew and Co. and is essentially for the body itself. Names, pronouns, genders and sexualities all vary from alter to alter individually.

On our page, you will find. . .

Lots of reblogs on random topics and hyperfixations

System Content [Mostly Text Posts and Half-baked Memes]

Original userboxes, blinkies, stamps. [The link to my hoards are below!!!]

Stimboards and Moodboards

Worldbuilding and OC talk

. . . and more!

Layout, Stimboard, and Userbox requests; Closed until current reqs finished!!!

Before you interact. . .

Our account may not be fully SFW, but we never reblog or post explicit material. I have a bad swearing problem, and due to my trauma, I have a hard time telling what is socially acceptable in regards for entirely being SFW. It's something I'm working on, so please be weary! We don't mind agere and petre engagement, just please know my blog is more skewed for mature audiences.

We almost never tag who is posting! We try, but it causes a lot of anxiety for a good amount of us. Please don't ask us to sign off our posts, as we feel it invades our boundaries. We're willing to give pronouns, but we generally try to keep our names more private.

We are endo apathetic. We honestly do not care if endos exist or not, we are just vibing in our own space. We only care about the misinfo on CDDs that is being spread. PLUS anyone is welcome on our blog as long as they don't drag us into any discourse/syscourse, aren't promoting misinformation, and/or being a generally bad or gross person.

We block liberally and without telling the blocked party. It's a force of habit that proves handy on the world wide web. We also ask you don't bother us to be unblocked.

BPD/NPD/HPD/ASPD havers are all welcome on our blog! If u believe in narc/histronic/borderline abuse, leave!!

WE ARE PRO-EDUCATED SELF DIAGNOSIS!!!

Do not interact. . .

Basic DNI Criteria [this is a link.] [note: some of the items on this list are repeated for ease of identification]

If you intend to ask about stances on discourse. [note: I'm always willing to be open to new lines of thinking and new ideas, as well as be corrected for any misinfo I may accidentally spread, but if you're going to talk down to me because I don't know or don't believe what you believe, I will block you. Speak to me as an equal or don't speak to me at all.]

pro/comshippers and pro/comship supporters.

transid/transx/radqueer or supporters [transRAMCOA/transProgrammer blocked on sight]

“cringe culture” supporters

ageplay/ddlg [again sfw agere/petre fine, but please know this account has mature themes.]

MAPs/Pedos and Zoos

Transphobes, TERFs, Radfems, Transmeds and the likes

anti-xenogender/anti-neopronouns

anti-mspec

pro-forced birth (“pro-life”)/ anti-abortion

More will be added as time goes. . .

Tags!

#important - important posts to us!

#littlest_bugz og - my original posts,,, may not be very original tho LOL

#reblogs ?! on my feed ?! /lh /j - My reblog tag!! Everything that gets reblogged should be under this tag, but I don't always remember

#you asked we answered - My ask tag! Feel free to send in asks at anytime

#so real for this - I don't know how to describe this properly, but these posts are so real.

#original userboxes/layouts/stamps/deco/art/ect - All of our original content divided into specifics! [ note: they are not all lumped together like that, just putting them all together for the sake of space, you can find most of them tagged in this post ]

#system posting - Our experiences on system hood as well as reblogs and other stuff! Was formerly 'system stuff'

#kinito posting - I am obsessed with an axolotl virus [mostly kinitopet fanart]

#stardew posting - I'm an avid stardew valley fan!!! I reblog fanart and post abt it sometimes

#lps posting - I am/was an avid lps collector!! I reblog fanart and post original content [sometimes,,, but usually text posts]

#cat posting - I reblog a lot of cat pictures and art!! cats r a huge comfort for me

#the hoard - I hoard and collect deco. If the links don't work for some reason, just click this tag

more tba . . .

Links!

Deco Collection - A hoard of all our deco, which includes stamps, blinkies and userboxes WARNING; FLASHING IMAGES, BRIGHT COLORS, AND MORE! PROCEED WITH CAUTION

pronouns.cc - has [some of] the frequent fronter's pronouns, names, and sign-offs. Only the peeps that are safe to say

personal blog - a wip but where I will post a ton of journal entry stuff! but not rn, unfortunately

art comms website - two of our hosts are artists and take comms- this is their site! comms are currently closed, except for the demented chibi heads [link]

my ko-fi - commission payments go here! The chibi head listing is on here! you can also donate if you feel inclined to, but it's 110% not expected

[note: you will probably see a linktree on some of these because I get freaked out by so many links on a page, but this is different bc tumblr is like my hub, if that makes sense?]

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jesterwriting · 7 months

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JESTERRRR okay first. HI I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY!! I'm absolutely taken by the magnificence that is the damn timeloop trope and that HIT HOMEEE and your other works as just as wonderful omg!! goodness i love how you write 😭 i really wish to know more of your ideas soo PLEASE IF YOU HAVE MORE SHARE that's my request for you!! whichever character it is!! (ofc do it at your own pace if u decide to take it :) ) i have some too and omg i feel like spewing them all out is it okay if i do 😭😭

what if you were an angel drabbles

pairing: shanks x reader & law x reader (separate)

contents: can be read as platonic, angel!reader, slight body horror especially in law’s, your body is Wrong, if you squint you’ll see nonhuman character as a metaphor for autism in here, angel lore that i made up on a whim don’t think too hard about it

word count: 1.8k words

note: first off feel absolutely free to come into my inbox and spew ideas!!! i'd love to hear it and you're always welcome <33 secondly, i would literally never post something like this normally, but because you asked for more of my ideas, here it is! something squished out from the creative recesses of my mind.

playlist: man on the moon - zella day

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. That was your motto. Even in your younger years, questions poured from your tongue like honey, coloring your world in rich, vibrant hues rather than suffocating shades of gray. You could speak for hours, annoying your instructors at the academy with your incessant questions.

It would be better if you learned to hold your tongue, they'd say.

How would I sate your hunger if I were silent, you would shoot back.

It would be easier if you could join the humans; ask them your questions face to face. Why couldn’t you walk among them? Such things were not forbidden, though they were rather frowned upon. As an angel, you were meant to observe, not intervene. If anyone were to be sent to the surface of a world, it would certainly not be an angel who couldn’t keep their mouth shut. Since time immemorial, your kind had lived in secret, housed in the spaces between stardust.

You would not be the one to ruin that.

That was what you promised yourself as you packed your bags and snuck out into the night. You could do both, get your answers and keep your secrets. For once, you wanted to live. Smile like a human, laugh like a human, love like a human. All of it was at your fingertips, the only thing you had to do was reach out and grab it. So, you did. You sent yourself spiraling to the surface of a beautiful blue pearl, a planet that was more water than land. This was where you would make your home.

For the first time in your centuries of life, you felt happy. The people of the island you found welcomed you with open arms, embracing your oddities instead of pretending they would go away. You were eccentric, both wise beyond your years and hopelessly naive. Fruits that were common were treated like precious jewels in your hands, work that no one wanted to do, you met with enthusiasm despite your clumsy hands. You told the children stories of faraway worlds, who would then parrot your truths to their parents. It was no secret that there was something off about you, but you were loved, and most importantly, you were free.

Though you were happy, your curiosity could not be sated. You wanted more. To see the world and all it had to offer. When a pirate ship appeared on the horizon, you asked the captain if you could join them on their adventures.

The villagers were sure to give you glowing reviews, you said with a broad grin.

Thus began your life at sea. In closer quarters, it was harder to keep your secrets. Your wings itched beneath your skin, feathers tickling your spine, begging to be set free. When asked of your hometown, you could only dodge the question with a laugh for so long. It wasn’t as if you could tell them the truth: that you fell from the stars like a meteor, never to return home again. You had created a niche in the crew, you would hate to be run off so soon.

Now, you were certain that this was the end of all you had built.

It had been a mistake. A simple one. An avoidable one. You were alone with him when his foot slipped, and you were alone when you dove after him, white wings unfurling to catch him. You were stronger than the average human, easily carrying his weight as you glided to the bottom of the ravine.

This was never meant to happen. Not in a million years, ever. There were rules in place to keep such situations under control, and you, somehow, managed to break every single one within seconds. Your wings ached from being confined within your vessel for so long, and though you longed to stretch them, you were well aware of the pair of eyes that studied your inhuman form.

“What are you?” His voice was soft, barely audible on the wind.

With a slick noise, your wings slotted themself back against your spine, gone as if they were never there in the first place. It felt better to have them back under your skin. Safer, especially under his scrutiny. With a deep breath, tongue gliding over your sharp incisors for comfort, you wondered if there was any way to salvage this.

Red Haired Shanks

Before you could start explaining yourself, Shanks cut you off, his expression morphing into a broad grin. “You can fly? You can fly and you never told me? I should be mad about that, you know.”

“Sorry.” You weren’t sure what else to say. Whatever you expected from your captain, it wasn’t this. Betrayal, maybe, but not excitement. Your stomach churned at the thought of what they were saying about you back home. It was no secret that they were watching you, you were not the first angel to fall from grace, nor would you be the last. Your fingers found the hem of your shirt and began to fidget. “No one was supposed to know.”

Shanks took a step closer to you, breathing heavily. Adrenaline, perhaps. He did just glide thirty meters off the edge of a cliff within the arms of a previously wingless crewmate. Besides, you couldn’t fault him too much, your heart was thundering inside your chest too, both from fear and exhilaration. You had forgotten how wonderful it felt to fly. A part of you couldn’t wait until you could do it again.

“Don’t be,” He said. The wind had swept his hair from his forehead, causing it to stick up at odd angles. You fought the urge to flatten it back against his head. “You saved me from losing a leg, at least.”

You cocked your head to the side, large eyes blinking owlishly at him. “You’re not mad. You should be mad. I’m a liar, and I can never tell you the truth.”

Shanks laughed. You liked his laugh. “Who cares about that? You save me and then expect me to be mad. You really are odd.” Craning his head to look above you, he put his hand on his hip when he caught sight of the edge he stumbled off. “Do you think you can get us back up there?”

If you were odd, Shanks was odder. That was his only question. You grew wings out of nowhere, and all he wanted to know was if you could fly him back up to the top of the ravine. Was it really that simple? You shivered, remembering the first words that left his mouth.

“What are you?”

You didn’t get to answer him. Maybe you never would. With your captain held in your arms, his head against your chest as he whooped against the wind, you wondered if the price of getting to keep your secrets would be simple. You had a feeling that this was not the first flight that Shanks would ask to be taken on, and certainly not his last.

Trafalgar Law

Law stared you down, lips pressed into a thin line.

Your wings fluttered against your spine, wanting to fly you away from this conversation to somewhere you would never be seen again. You were fast, easily able to outrun the Polar Tang even without your headstart. Still, if you left Law at the bottom of a ravine, you would never forgive yourself.

“Um,” You started.

Law crossed his arms. “And don’t you try and tell me you’re human. I’ve known for a long time you’re not.” He glanced down at your hands, palm too wide, fingers too long. “Your bones are in the wrong place.”

It was no secret that you were built… different, with limbs that were too long, disproportionate to the rest of your body, and eyes that reflected light, glowing when the sun dipped under the horizon and stars blanketed the velvet sky. If you weren’t careful, both your elbows and knees bent backwards. It had scared Shachi and Penguin more than once, their screams that you were broken echoing through the Polar Tang. You hadn’t meant to build your body so strangely. In your defense, you had never met a human before until a few months ago.

“My bones are all wrong? But I worked so hard on this body.”

To his credit, Law’s confusion at your strange statement was betrayed by a barely noticeable blink. “You need anatomy lessons if you think that’s passable enough to fool anyone.”

“You should be happy with what I look like. If I showed you my true form, your eyes would melt out of your skull,” You said.

Law scoffed. “I doubt that.”

You bit your tongue to keep from arguing. The only way your captain would believe you was if you tore free from your vessel and bestowed upon him your true holy splendor. Which you would rather not do. Not only did you not want to blind him, but the entire situation would be rather intimate. Angel’s did not show their true forms on a mere whim, and they definitely did not do so to win a petty argument.

“Alright.” The two of you stood in silence. Law was still while you kicked a rock with the toe of your boot. “If you must know, I am an angel.”

You could practically hear them booing back home.

Law was quick with his response, “Angels don’t exist. If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.”

“Sorry.”

Sighing, Law approached and gave you a stern look out of the corner of his eye. He stood so close, you could feel his body heat. “If you don’t want to tell me the truth, then don’t. All I need to know is how to properly treat you when you get sick or injured.”

Despite his assurances, you could see the curiosity burning in his golden eyes, and you knew the conversation was far from over. With a shrug, you unfurled your wings, grabbing a hold of Law as you launched yourself to the top of the ravine with a single push. Surprise caused him to struggle in your arms, though you kept your grip on him firm.

You didn’t care how stubborn Law was, nor did you care about the inevitable onslaught of questions that awaited you back on the Polar Tang.

If there was one thing you respected, it was curiosity.

#one piece x reader #shanks x reader #shanks x you #shanks x yn #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x you #trafalgar law x y/n #.jesterwrites #had a lot of fun with this one!!!

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sundrop-writes · 3 months

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Hey everyone! I'm Sundrop, but you can call me Sunny. I am a fanfic writer, and this is my fanfiction blog where I post all of my newest fics. Right now, my main fandom is DC Titans.

CURRENTLY ON HIATUS - hey everyone! I am on a hiatus from writing because I am moving. I have made a long queue of my previous fics for you guys to enjoy while I'm gone, and my requests will still be open if you wanna send in something while I'm gone. If you wanna chat with me, I might be online on my main @tenpintsof-sundrop when I'm not busy with packing and other things. I should be back around the end of July or the beginning of September, maybe later. I am likely planning on taking a break after the move to rest because I know it will be an exhausting ordeal. Updates about this will be over on my main.

If you want to know about the fandoms I'm interested in generally, check out my Main Masterlist. Requests are currently open. Please read my rules page before sending in a request. If you want to be tagged in future fics of mine, you should read my rules for taglists first, and then you can send me an ask about it (or leave a comment on this post and I will add you to the taglist). If you have a question about my fics or about my blog in general, it might be answered by my FAQ.

About me: I'm a 90s baby (I remember Blockbuster lmao), my pronouns are she/her (but I don't mind being called dude or other masc nicknames), I am autistic, bisexual, and polyamarous (and those things often heavily inspire my writing). I am chronically ill; I have POTS, EDS, and some of my fics may go behind schedule or may be cancelled due to flare-ups of my illness, just so you guys are aware.

All of my fics are subject to The Autism Clause. This means that I could randomly lose interest in a fandom, an idea, a WIP, or a series that I’m writing at any time. If something is victim to this Clause, it means that I will stop working on it before it’s finished, and I will likely never mention it again unless asked about it.

If you are curious about what happened to a fic that was planned or you want to know why I haven't updated in a while, definitely go over to @tenpintsof-sundrop to see updates about my personal life and my creative process and how that affects my fanfiction posts. This is not my main blog. This is just a blog I use for posting fics, so if you wanna know more about my interests and the progress of my fics, then definitely head over to my main.

Please do not follow me if you support using AI to generate fanfiction or fanart, or if you use c.ai. I have worked for many years to cultivate my writing talents and I think it is a huge insult to writers to do these things. If I find anything on your blog that is AI generated, I will block you.

I would highly recommend downloading the Interactive Fics Extension for Google Chrome - it turns every use of Y/N into a fanfic into your actual name, and it works very well with my fics to turn the reading into an immersive, personalized experience.

If you are looking for more of my older fics, then definitely check out my AO3 - which is the largest living catalogue of my fics in existence with over a million words on it. If you enjoy anything that I have posted here, you can go there to check out more of my work. However, please keep in mind that all of my work over there is archive locked to keep it out of the hands of AI scrapers and bots, so you will need an account to view it. And you need to make sure that you're logged into your account on all browsers before you click the link.

Most Recent Work: Precious Time Alone - Gar Logan x Fem!Reader (aka the Gar Knot Fic)

Currently Working On: on hiatus

Coming Soon:

My fanfiction schedule is very up in the air right now because I will be moving soon, and everything involved with packing, moving, preparing my new room, and unpacking is going to be very tiring. I hope to be posting a lot more fics toward the end of this year, so stick with me. If you have any questions about upcoming fics or WIPs I have mentioned that have not yet been posted, feel free to politely ask me about them! And please be patient about my slowed posting/lack of posting during this time.

#sundrop speaks #pinned post

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a-secret-inner-life · 5 months

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I came across a lot of stuff that I could relate to about autism while researching for a paper, which led me to do more research on autism in general. I saw some other people doing this type of post on here, so: autistic people, can you please read my super long and detailed list of possible symptoms I experience and tell me if it seems like I'm one of you? I'm trying to be objective and reasonable and figure out what's going on with myself here.

Sensory Stuff

I like to stim–bouncing my legs, tapping my feet when I sit, occasionally swinging my legs or rocking. I also clench my fists or sit on my hands a lot and tap my fingers on things, or just fiddle with whatever is in front of me. Recently, I count while touching my thumb to each of my fingertips to calm down because someone in a book I read did that and it actually does help me. I also sing the alphabet song repeatedly when I'm working on my website.

Sometimes when I'm very tired or overwhelmed my face feels itchy and I feel like every strand of hair touching me prickles and itches and leaves a red spot (but it doesn't actually).

I have a strong hatred for perfume because it smells too strong and fakey, and citrus scents also drive me nuts, but I really like scented candles.

I'm a super picky eater, although I'm not as bad as when I was a kid. I don't mind the taste of tomatoes, peppers, or onions in things, but I'm still a little grossed out when I know I'm eating them, and the texture of onions freaks me right out, as an example.

I get startled easily. Loud noises don't actually scare me, they just jolt me out of whatever thought space I was in before I heard them.

I also get overwhelmed whenever someone tries to talk to me in a loud car (whether it's loud with other people or just the engine), and I find it overwhelming and incredibly difficult to concentrate when more than one person is talking at once. Whenever I'm in a crowd, it just sounds like this vague roar that gets louder the more I think about it, which can sometimes be overwhelming. Still, I'm good at tuning some things out in select circumstances, like the TV when it's on.

Finally, if I pay attention at pretty much any time when there isn't a ton of other noise, I can hear ringing in my ears. This isn't usually upsetting, and I know it's fairly common for anyone to get tinnitus from time to time, but I'm not sure if most people experience it this much.

Social Stuff

I can not handle eye contact.

I'm also really, really, comically bad at social interactions. I almost never speak to someone I don't know well before they speak to me, and my go-to conversation method is to laugh/giggle and nod, I literally can not make actual conversation to save my life. Sometimes I think of things to say but it doesn't occur to me to say them, or I try to but I'm scared and can't find an opening, or I do say the thing and people don't react the way I want them to (usually it's either confusion or disinterest).

Old ladies are my favorite people because they're the least scary somehow. I also love kids, but I'm still awkward so I rarely interact and probably still freak them out.

I'm horrible at keeping contact and I wait until I know people are offline to reply to their messages because conversation is stressful and I need time to think when I text. Group chats are a nightmare, so I pretty much ghost everyone when I'm in one.

I'm super attached to my family, though. I make an effort to create a deep bond with each of my siblings, and I'm the clingiest person in the world when it comes to my older sister.

I value people very deeply, which might be why I find them so intimidating. I love them and I want them to be happy, and I put too much pressure on the situation.

I used to hate being alone, and I still feel guilty or sad whenever I spend too much time by myself, although I actually love to be by myself, a lot of my hobbies and favorite places are solitary, and I usually prefer figuring things out on my own rather than having somebody right there trying to figure it out with me.

I'm incredibly empathetic. It's not like I can automatically sense people's emotions, but I do make an effort to pay attention and understand what they're feeling and why they feel that way. My siblings come and rant to me a lot, and I can be a good diplomat and see both points of view when they argue. I also care, and I always want to make people feel better, though it obviously doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm too empathetic, or maybe too creative, and I stress out about what someone might be feeling when I don't know if it's an actual issue or not.

Patterns and Stuff

I've always been good at remembering my parents’ phone numbers and our zip code, as well as my friends’ birthdays. I work at a grocery store where I find myself reciting the regular customers’ lottery numbers in my head as they're saying them to me.

My dad used to have a verbal checklist of what to bring to work each morning, and I still recite it every time I hear the words “wallet” and “keys” next to each other. Same goes for my old morning checklist that I don't even follow anymore.

I don't adhere to a strict routine in terms of the general structure of my day, but I definitely have a system or pattern for a lot of my specific activities.

Emotional Stuff

I've been obsessed with drawing and painting for as long as I can remember. I write all the time. I think I dedicated myself and a huge chunk of my life to my hobbies. If I like something, I like to think that I make it my own, and that thing permeates who I am.

When I first started listening to BTS, I scoured literally the entire Internet to find every possible hidden track any of the members ever touched, and there were A LOT. Lately I've been obsessed with Keeper of the Lost Cities, and I can't stop talking about the books. I'm also hyper fixated on Tomorrow X Together.

When I start something, I need to finish it, and I'll often think I'm so close to being done only to continue on it for several more hours, trying to hurry up and finish because I need to get it done now. I'm also pretty bad at switching tasks. I try to multitask, but it doesn't really work out.

I can easily forget about my own physical needs; particularly I don't usually realize when I'm hungry. Overall my needs are very flexible to the people around me; if you want to eat together, suddenly I'm hungry, if you don't feel like stopping, neither do I.

I'm a perfectionist, but I hate asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to my grades and my hobbies. I'm more comfortable when I can control the variables and nobody has to know if I fail.

I'm pretty sure I have executive dysfunction because I put so much pressure on doing things perfectly that I lose the motivation to do them at all, and as much as I need to get something done, I can't make myself do it.

Since I was little I've always been awkward and out of place. I feel like I take up too much space. Honestly, I feel like my existence is lame and embarrassing. I hate myself.

I absolutely suck at decision making, sometimes because I don't want to choose something that other people won't like and partially because I'm just really indecisive. Often I feel stuck or paralyzed because I can't choose one way or another.

Along those same lines, the responsibility of being told to do something for someone else is terrible, and I hate doing these things without incredibly specific instructions because I'm scared of messing up.

I also need to know exact details of whatever activity I'm doing before I do it, and I hate when something big isn't planned out in detail.

I used to have a lot of meltdowns as a child. I’d yell and cry and throw things when I was upset. This still happens sometimes, but not as frequently or as badly.

I feel guilty about everything, including mistakes from years ago that shouldn't matter anymore. This makes me feel sort of unworthy (?), like anything good I do is the bare minimum and if I cause a problem (through anxiety or executive dysfunction) that messes up a project, I feel like I have to do everything else perfectly to make up for it, although I usually end up feeling like I'm coddling myself instead.

I constantly compare myself to others. If someone else has a problem that's worse than what I deal with, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own negative feelings.

I feel like none of my feelings are valid. I feel and think all sorts of dramatic things that seem like the end of the world, but compared to others, my problems are small, and I feel stupid for having them. I almost wish I had a bigger issue or more dangerous mental problems that would make my responses more reasonable, but my logical side knows that this thinking is wrong.

I've been dealing with off and on burnout since I was around twelve years old (so about five years). I've been told over and over that my mindset is wrong and I need to do a million things better mentally to be less of a perfectionist, but I don't have the energy to put in any effort whatsoever to fix myself. I still get random bursts of motivation that last for short periods of time, though.

Sometimes when I go to bed after a stressful day, I wake up in the morning and I have this uncontrollable dread about starting my day. The thought of getting up sounds impossible, and it's almost like there's something sitting in my chest keeping me down.

#am i autistic?#possible autism #possibly neurodivergent #possibly autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism in girls #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #autistic things

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