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arcadialedger · 4 years

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Please note that I am most likely leaving this platform. I am done being abused. But first? We need to have a discussion. A discussion about hate and bullying in fandom.

All online-- I encourage you to read my story below. Reblog and spread awareness. The Dragon Prince fandom especially -- I implore you read my words, every single one of them. The short of it is that I am done.

This all began with losing and being blocked by a friend because I shared something they disagreed with. I don’t care what you feel about my initial reaction to this (which I’ll explain below) -- I’ve apologized for not handling the situation correctly. But I will not be shamed for speaking my mind and standing up for myself.

Because no human being deserves to go through what I have endured since last summer.

Following the “callout” post made about me by one of, if not the largest blogs in this fandom, I received hundreds of threats, harassment messages, and death threats. Messages and posts telling me to kill myself were also prominent, on a multiple times a week basis for awhile.

Messages from people who were well aware I have struggled with being suicidal. Due to one of their favorite Dragon Prince blogs speaking out against me, they thought it was okay to suicide bait me.

And it worked. I already struggle with hating myself, am already insecure, and being flooded with these comments which, while I made mistakes, did nothing to deserve, drove me to try and take my own life after years of progress in my mental health.

Mind you, this is like a 200 follower to 4k follower power dynamic. Which yes, plays a role-- because when you have a large following and influence, you have power. Yet the person behind this had the gall to claim Tumblr clout isn’t real.

People blocking and condemning others instantly at your word? Is power. If people read your words and are influenced, or have their minds changed, or buy or don’t buy something, etc.-- you are an influencer. You have power. And when you’re one of the largest blogs in a fandom, you have a LOT of power.

So take responsibility.

I was hurt because I lost a friend who I had chatted with for months, did a podcast with, and was generally not only one of my favorite blogs but the center of my experience in the Dragon Prince. I may not have been perfect in my words, but when I was asked why I was quiet/ inactive, I explained how I was hurting, anonymously. I was understandably in pain and upset. I had been cut off for just having a different opinion on a matter, for thinking differently. Even though it was within their rights to block and do so, it felt wrong and it weighed on me.

Is that such a crime?

The callout post and previously described abuse followed, lasting for months until later in the year (this began in June, or around then). It also included screenshots of tweets, when this user does not have Tumblr, and they have stated to have screenshots stored up on their computer of my various posts and interactions. This is creepy behavior, and freaked me out. I felt like I was being stalked, “evidence” being filed away for the very purpose of being used against me.

I eventually talked things out with the blog per recommendation of my therapist, and thought all would be fine. For a little while, it was. I largely stayed off of Tumblr to heal. Once in awhile I would have a rough, tearful night because something reminded me of what I lost, but I would make it through. Overall, I was making progress.

Then? My Twitter got hacked by one of the people sending me hate. For what had turned out to be much. And after they tweeted some purposefully incriminating and bigoted things to make me look bad, I came home from a weekend in the mountains to a shitstorm.

Twitter has a love hate relationship for me and I barely opened the app unless actively chatting with a friend. So when I saw 700+ notifications, I was surprised. It had never happened before.

I began to scroll through, and when I saw what had happened, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

I had lost over half of my followers and a solid 60% of previous Twitter mutuals had blocked me. But worst of all, I had hundreds of hate tweets directed at me replying to the hackers tweets. Messages had been sent in DMs and accounts blocked, followed, and unfollowed as well.

If you have never felt that loss of agency-- that sickening feeling of words you never said next to your profile-- be glad. Because it is traumatic. I value my words. I value what I have to say. And having that taken from me was worse than anything I had been through here on Tumblr, outside of the suicide baiting (the most direct attack to me and my emotions/ insecurities throughout this entire ordeal). Further, this hacker had clearly stalked my tweets based on some of their comments.

Hundreds of tweets bashing me, calling me aphobic slurs (knowing I am asexual mind you, as it was in my bio), making fun of my appearance and targeting all of the insecurities which lead to my first suicide attempt in high school, and taking/ editing images of my face and mocking them. This all culminated in a doxing threat-- a doxing threat which made me feel unsafe on a campus I had already been sexually assaulted on. I was once again, after starting the healing process, thrusted back into the darkest time of my life and spiraled into anxiety and depression. I cried a lot overwhelmed by it all, had difficulty sleeping, and felt sick. I started fall semester and couldn’t concentrate on school. I was a mess.

I had once again been condemned, this time for something I had no part in. I tried to example what happened but nobody listened. I had been hung without trial. People were understandably confused, and my entire reputation on the platform, and my page, became a mess of lies, misunderstandings, and more.

If you don’t know the feeling of already hating yourself and being insecure, and having these beliefs reinforced and spread by hundreds publicly across the internet? Of already feeling lonely and unwanted and having the one space you thought you had taken from you? Consider yourself lucky.

I had a lot of voice actors and creators following me-- accounts I interacted and greatly cherished my mutual with. A handful of them unfollowed, understandably. This online hate mob was sending messages to people demanding they unfollow me, including some of these creators. They had no idea what to make of this mess or what was real and true and just didn’t want to deal with it. Most of the others just stopped interacting with me. @aaronwaltke (tagging so those who don’t follow already click and do so, because he is absolutely fantastic-- he’s a writer for ToA) who had followed me on the platform, graciously wished me peace with the entire situation after I checked to make sure he had not been subjected to messages or hate, either from my hacker or other accounts. His was the greatest compassion I got on Twitter, before I ultimately ended up just having to delete.

I lost podcast deals because of this with Adrian Petriw, Aaron Ehasz, and Justin Richmond. I do not blame them one bit and would have done the same in the confusion not wanting to get dragged into anything.

Only to have one of the friends I lost who helped start this interview these very people on their own podcasts. A slap in the face. A zine I had bought to support them came to my door, with the front page proclaiming to “spread a narrative of love.”

I was never granted that chance. That compassion. I had the vultures sent after me with no mercy. And anyone who has been through online abuse and systemic harassment knows just how much it feels like they’re slowly but surely picking at your flesh ( a metaphor I used in one of my old, since deleted posts discussing the situation, and still find accurate), wearing you down until you have no strength left.

Make no mistake, my story is not a one off situation. Many share the same tale of abuse and being driven off of platforms that once gave them great joy. These attacks are coordinated, systemic, and common hobby for these people-- who largely claim to be loving and accepting of all. They are a cyberbullying phenomenon which has risen with the presence of fandom on the internet. And I want to make clear, with current discussions of “cancel culture”, I mean nothing political in that statement. Some might call my experience cancel culture, but I don’t.

It’s just bullying. It’s just hate. These people get off on ruining people’s lives.

And my life was greatly set back and ruined. I had a stain on my past in fandom I could never be rid of. I had to shut down my podcast, took time off of all social media, and most of what I had built, most of my growth, was taken from me while those who incited and/ or spread hate thrived and continued to grow and find success. That was the greatest sting of all.

I asked the one previous friend who hadn’t blocked me, but had just stopped interacting with me (which I understood and respected, and also greatly respected her perspective, help, and support though this situation in which she largely unfortunately ended up in the middle) for help after explaining everything, and got nothing. They didn’t seem to care, and just blocked me on all platforms. Once in awhile, I would find I was cut off from yet another old friend, or a blog that I had never interacted with before but clicked into, interested. It hurt being cut off, unable to fully interact with the fandom, but I could move on.

That pain would never go away, but I made clear I did not blame them for the actions of those who abused, harassed, and threatened me. I also made it clear they did not owe me anything, including unblocking.

I just wanted to move on peacefully, but those with the power to enable that did not wish to help. I slowly, when I felt ready, began to be more active on Tumblr again, and once again the hate started up.

Sometimes when I was hurting, I expressed my pain and loss to my followers just to reach out, because I was sad. I had no idea how to rebuild from all that had happened. This got me more hate an accusations of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. I had no idea what to do, and got trapped in a cycle of needing to talk about it, and getting hate and backlash, but not knowing where else I could turn.

My doxer came back into my asks, ultimately making me switch schools, and refueled the drama. Speaking up about this got me more backlash-- mostly accounts reblogging (one with tags saying “fuck you”, despite not knowing the full story, and commenting and then blocking me so I could do nothing to respond or get it off of my page. I deleted all posts of the matter, as requested by these people (who validly pointed out they were in the main fandom tags, which I hadn’t thought of and understood), and hoped to move on.

But it hasn’t stopped. I have been beaten down and emotionally bruised for months. I have had my life and safety threatened, my education and by extension life path altered, and lost work (podcast) opportunities due to this-- alongside the irreversible emotional damage from trauma and abuse. My mental health issues and insecurities-- which I have been very open about to destigmatize the subjects and encourage conversation-- were actively targeted to inflict the most pain possible.

And I can’t even talk about it, without enduring more hate and accusations of “playing the victim”.

Death threats, suicide baiting, doxing, months of bullying and harassment to the most vile degree, which a lot of these people don’t know about because they don’t even bother to read my words. Yet I’m playing the victim.

And the accusations of bigotry and being hateful hurt, because it couldn’t be further from what is in my heart. I believing in love and acceptance of all. I don’t know how many are religious here, but I found God after my first suicide attempt and that is what his word has taught me.

I’ve been through too much in life to tolerate this, for lack of a more eloquent term, bullshit. I know what abuse and victim blaming looks like when I see it. And in my 20 years of life, I have gone through too much: constant ridicule and bullying, suicide attempts, sexual assault, major spinal surgery, to just be stomped over and not stand up for my right to basis human decency.

I refuse to put up with this, so unless I get an apology and some semblance of justice for everything I have been through, I am leaving. I will not participate in a space run by hate and toxicity. I will never claim to be perfect, and I have apologized for my mistakes and wrongdoings. Now, hold those who did this accountable. If you’re reading this you know very well who it was, and I am not naming them for those who don’t. Because at the end of the day I still send nothing but love and wish no ill will towards them.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t expect accountability of one of the greatest influencers in the fandom for their complacency in abuse, threats, suicide baiting, and and absolute ruining of my life and online experience. They enabled this and were well aware they had the power to stop it-- to ask their followers to stop-- and did nothing. They didn’t care-- about a human’s life and well being.

@dragonprinceofficial, are you aware that this is what many of the fans of your show, which preaches love and an end to the cycle of vengeance, do to others? That this is happening in your space? If you stand at all by the values you preach, condemn it. @staffTumblr/ @supportTumblr-- shame on you for allowing this abuse to happen and ignoring my reports. Shame on you for permitting these people to operate in your platform and for being okay with hosting hate. People have been driven to suicide on your website-- I am one of the lucky ones.

If you care at all about humanity and stand against this behavior, reblog and spread awareness. Share my story so I may not happen to anyone else. Tag @dragonprinceofficial until they notice and speak out.

This is my story, and so many others. Make sure it doesn’t happen ever again. No human being deserves to be treated how I was. Everyone deserves compassion, decency, and respect. And everyone deserves a place in fandom. Do better. If you want to reach out to me DMs are open, as well as my email, which is attached to my account. Until this change happens and I am given the support/ help needed to safely function on this platform, this blog will not be active outside of that.

Thank you all of the many accounts who have supported me, and I am working on getting back to all who have reached out! Your love means the world. You know who you are, and I don’t want to tag in case people come after you for showing me kindness. I am sorry if this is goodbye, to all that have enjoyed my blog. I enjoyed it for a long time too. I loved sharing my passion for stories, culture, having a space where I could analyze and discuss my favorite things. I loved getting to share what I had to offer with the world, having fun and posting jokes with my unique sense of humor. I loved interacting with intelligent people/ fellow fans and discussing my favorite stories, offering each other new insights and growing together. I loved the many, many kind and wonderful people who reached out to me in a variety of ways and provided support and friendship.

In the end, it just isn’t worth all of this pain and trauma, and I know when to put my foot down. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologizes, and I’m not a martyr. I just want my story to make a difference-- to spur positive change in fandom culture/ spaces. I will be tagging all fandoms in which I have seen this kind of abuse present as well, to reach as many as possible.

Be safe, and be kind.

- The Arcadia Ledger/ Ryn/ Katie, signing off.

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zanniscaramouche · 3 years

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MAY WE LIFT EACH OTHER UP

Thank you @phd-mama for such a wonderful idea! Sadly the month got away from me so I could not spread love all month long (although I did try to power read some shorter fics and serial-comment as much as I could!) and I hope you have all enjoyed the quotes from fics @allwaswell16 is reading as much as I have!

Inspired by that, I’m handing out flowers to every person who’s ever reblogged, liked, commented or kudos on a fic or fic post. A flower for those who leave nice things in the tags and those who interact with wip posts to encourage the process. You’re all a necessary part of this whacky fanfiction machine. Here are some people who are major factors in my productivity levels, and people who inspire me to keep creating and have fun 💕

🌻 @mercurial-madhouse My lovely beta, supremely smart and bursting with creativity. You inspire me every day and I adore working with you. You bring so much balance and structure to my work, the fine-toothed comb that really picks things out and makes them shine. Somedays(most days) I swear you can read my mind. Thank you for every second of effort you’ve put into making my stories come to life! Your own writing inspires me to be more imaginative and unafraid to dip into the niche.

🌸 @lululawrence Such a wonderful human! You give off such great energy, I am in awe of how passionately and avidly you commit yourself to creating fanworks for the sheer pleasure of doing so. You remind me to write fic for myself first and foremost, everything else is second. No pairing is rare enough.

🌹 @kingsofeverything The absolute mammoth list of your discography is awe inducing. Truly I can only hope to have the pleasure of reading them all. Your variety is so inspiring to me to try new and different things. The way you portray the human condition is phenomenal. A real inspiration all around.

🌼 @haztobegood An all around beautiful person. Love sprinting with you and seeing your new works being posted, reading your fics is always a good time! The comments you leave are so kind, thank you!

🌷 @theisolatedlily LILY! A thousand flowers for you, the most supportive commenter out there! You go ABOVE & BEYOND to another galaxy level, I swear. The feedback you provide is instrumental to my continued creativity and desire to pursue writing. Thank you x300million. Your brilliant usage of a large vocabulary and your love of grotesque detail truly inspires me to dig deeper while writing.

🌺 @soldouthaz A literal angel! Continuously taking the initiative to help others in the fandom (betabase was such a good idea!) and so kind to everyone. One of the first writers I read when I started in the fandom and I am so glad because you hooked me in to stay!

🌻 @falsegoodnight Another of the first authors I first started reading in this fandom. Your hard work and dedication is so inspiring to me, and reading your fics is always a lovely experience that lets me truly escape. Thank you for being so wonderful!

🌸 @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed WOW! You are continuously encouraging me to work on my wips via tag challenges. I havent responded to them in awhile(life has me by the throat) but know that those tags are VITAL to my sustained writing effort, and I eagerly await tagging you multiple times a week once more. Thank you for always thinking of me to tag!

🌹 @fallinglikethis A heart of gold! A true darling, thank you for your recording of my work, it was a true experience to hear. I cherish every comment and interaction between us!

🌼 @nevergooutofstiles Seriously where do I start! You are a serial commenter and it’s fabulous. I don’t think you can truly grasp how much each word in every comment you leave means to me, both those on the fic itself and the tags left in the fic posts. Thank you for your continued support!

🌷 @londonfoginacup Such a sweetie! I am so humbled by your lovely words and I am so pleased to know you enjoyed some of my work. Thank you for all that you’ve done for the fandom, as well as the support you’ve personally shown me in tags and comments.

🌺 @louandhazaf Lovely! Through your own work you inspire me to keep writing rarepairs, and I can’t wait to read more of your stories to give back on all the comments you’ve left on my stories. Thank you for being wonderful!

🌻 @disgruntledkittenface Astonishing! Tagging you back and forth keeps me going, I can’t get enough of seeing your upcoming works and the motivation to create new ‘last lines’ and ‘sunday snippets’ is a much needed boost. Thank you for thinking of me when tagging!

🌸 @brightgolden My very first beta! You helped me so much on my first few beta experiences and are such a treat to work with. Thank you for your continued support, I am so proud to see you writing now and can NOT wait to read your new fics!

🌹 @homosociallyyours Always so kind in the tags! Thank you for reading and commenting and boosting my works. You’re such a wonderful person to follow too!

🌼 @larryyouknow Sincerely wonderful! Always checking in and sharing your enthusiasm for my work. Thank you so much for getting in touch, I adore talking with you!

🌷 @oldbay-on-apples Sincere and sweet, thank you so much for you feedback and support!

🌺 @runaway-train-works Thank you for the love of rarepairs! It keeps me going on works that are truly passion projects. Your comments are so thoughtful and intelligent!

🌻 @bluecolouredlou So lovely to hear from you and to see your interest in my works! Thank you for being so kind and encouraging.

🌸 @allwaswell16 A goddess! Wow there are few words I haven’t used yet, but you are all of them: lovely, sweet, kind, sincere, beautiful! You are constantly creating, be it fic, rec lists, or monthly round ups. A true legend. Thank you for all that you do, and thanks for your support!

🌹 @solvetheminourdreams Cutie! I love seeing your works pop up, and I am so eager to devour them soon. Thankful for the encouragement and tags in fun little challenges.

🌼 @harrystinyshorts So much fun tagging you back and forth and reading what you’re working on. Thank you for thinking of me!

🌷 @makethebestofwhatyouget Hello darling! You are a ball of energy and passion, a real shining light! The excitement you exude is addicting. Thank you for sharing it with me and always pushing me to keep going!

xx 🌺+ SOOOO many more that I couldn’t find the tumblr accounts for or sincerely forgot in my overtired daze. This month has kicked my butt, as my vague absence may have implied, and I miss interacting with everyone. With another season of work coming to an end, I can finally settle down and commit myself to what truly brings me joy: fanfic! In the next month I hope to read all of the beautiful fics that have come out recently (read: the past 7 months) while also fulfilling all of the fic festivals I seem to have signed up for 😅

Here’s to a wonderful summer & beyond for all of us!

#may we lift each other up #zanni thinks #you're all so special in your own ways #thank you for making this a safe place for me to be creative #and inspiring me to spread my wings #your hearts are golden #I'm a day late for the 28th appreciation #I'm soooorrrry #:(

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seriouslyhooked · 4 years

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The Best Bad Idea

Three-part CS AU where Emma and Killian are doctors working at the same hospital (world without pandemic). They’ve yet to meet, but Emma has definitely seen the sexy Dr. Jones in her travels at Mist Haven Medical. It’s generally a bad idea to get involved with a colleague, but a little fantasizing never hurt… right? Inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea’ by Ariana Grande and a TV couple who set the bar for true love stories.

Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey all! Here is a little something I made instead of being a responsible writer and finishing my other projects. I’ll be back to my other WIPs soon (God willing), but in the meantime here’s my 1000th attempt at writing a Captain Swan meet cute. I needed to get some words on the page, and this is the result. Hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, Thump. Steady, sure, and even. A solid pulsing sound with no inconsistencies and no delays or false starts.

In this particular patient, that fourth set of beats was the most important. Prior to his recent operation, Earl MacDonald’s heart had been weak and skipping needed pulses, then constricting far too harshly on every fourth measure. That type of arrhythmia had potentially disastrous consequences, but those worrying beats were seemingly behind them. The rhythm Emma heard through the stethoscope was a regularly circulating drumline, the tell-tale song of a heart that was working, and working well. Her surgical intervention had been successful.

She gently released the breath she was holding, a sign of the stress that she carried while waiting for patients to recuperate. Emma never let the patients see her sweat, but she had been worried on multiple levels in this case. Earl was going on 80, and not a logical contender for intensive cardiac mediation, but Emma’s gut had told her he could handle it, and she was rarely ever wrong. Earl forged through the surgery like a much younger man, and his outputs post-operation had all been extremely encouraging. It was shaping up to be another win, another life saved thanks to the power of medicine, and that filled Emma with real joy. She always did her absolute best to create good outcomes, and this time there was so much more on the line than one life. This was a man who was loved and cherished by the people closest to him, and who would be sorely missed if something were to happen.

“Anything you want me to note for the chart, Doctor Swan?”

Emma bit back a witty retort at the pointed use of the word ‘Doctor.’ She was one of the few surgeons in this hospital who didn’t care what people called her, as long as they called on her early enough to actually save the patient’s life. But with Belle, a person Emma considered a dear and true friend, there was an added lilt of sass when using her title. Her friend was one of the nurse practitioners that Emma had been working with for years, since the day she landed here as a medical intern, but despite their differences in degrees, Belle was easily the most well-read and brilliant resource when it came to medical literature in this hospital.

“Just that Mr. MacDonald is healing nicely.”

“Did you hear that Lorraine?” Earl asked, with a Cheshire cat smile on his face, and the glint of true pride in his eyes. “Doctor Emma says I’m healing nicely.”

“Hard not to hear, seeing as I’m right beside you,” Loraine quipped, but she squeezed his hand affectionately, and offered a warm smile to her husband all the same.

“You know, usually being dubbed ‘nice’ is the kiss of death for a man.”

“Earl!” Loraine chastised, clearly not liking his word choice. Earl smiled wider, looking almost boyish in his delight.

“Well, so to speak. But I was going to say that I think we can make an exception this time. I’ve never been so happy to be referred to as ‘nice’ in my life.”

“Technically Doctor Swan was referring to your vital signs, Earl,” Belle taunted from across the room, holding back a smile Emma knew she was bound to let loose soon enough.

“Aw come on, you both know I am your favorite patient. I mean I’m not exactly pressed for competition. Have you seen the people on this floor? Good grief.”

“Ignore him, ladies. He’s all talk. He hasn’t left this room since we got here,” Loraine said, rolling her eyes, as if these antics were a constant occurrence. Based on her small window of experience with Earl, Emma would believe it. “Every meal, every visit, every moment has been within these four walls. Even his PT has been in here.”

“His PT has been here?” Emma asked, surprised that Mary Margaret, their head Occupational Therapist, had allowed for that. She was normally a by-the-book professional, and Emma never knew her friend to provide rehab consults outside of her studio.

“Yup. I told Miss Mary Margaret that I had a wife to keep an eye on and she relented.”

“No, actually what you said was, ‘Excuse me, Ms. Blanchard? You probably heard I just had heart surgery. Well, the thing is, my heart is sitting in this room. I’d like to be with her. Doesn’t seem right to be separated so soon, given what we’ve been through.’ Then you pointed at me, and used your puppy dog eyes on her. Next thing I knew, she had lugged enough equipment to fill the room here. No questions, just action.”

“I bet she ate that right up,” Belle said with a wink. “Mary Margaret loves nothing more than love itself.”

Belle and Mrs. MacDonald discussed Mary Margaret’s love of love, and Earl’s improved mobility, for a few more minutes while Emma continued checking his stats, but ultimately Earl’s patience was wearing thin. He really only had one thing on his mind, and he was now determined to ask about it. Emma was honestly shocked that he managed to wait this long. She knew it was only a matter of time and she was ready for the showdown.

“So, what do you think, Doc? Am I making it home in time for the party?”

“The one for your grandson on Sunday?” she asked, noting the three-day window between now and then. She had heard about this party non-stop, since the moment Earl woke up from the procedure. It was a central fixation for the old man, a celebration that would host his entire family, and a goal he had been carrying for over a week. Earl nodded and Emma hesitated for a few seconds, before smiling and giving the good news away. “Yes, I am confident that Jayden’s ‘Pop Pops’ will be in attendance when he turns four. But you know the rules…”

“I know, I know: no good food, no strenuous exercise, no having fun.”

“Earl.” Just the utterance of the old man’s name from his wife was enough to have him looking like a kid with his hand caught in the candy jar. Emma and Belle both chuckled at that child-like expression. It was hard not to; the old married couple was just too sweet.

“I’m sorry. I know this is serious, but what is life if you can’t have a little fun?”

“Fun comes in all shapes and sizes, Mr. MacDonald, and despite what you may think about your prescribed lifestyle changes, you’re forgetting two things. First, most of these less-alluring prescriptions will be temporary, and second, you’re a man who clearly loves a challenge.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you know that, Doc?”

“Well for one thing, you somehow landed a lady as remarkable as Loraine. There’s no way she came easy with these corny jokes of yours. You must have worked harder than you ever worked in your life to persuade her to give you a chance.”

The laughter from the older couple was boisterous and heartwarming, and Emma knew she was right on the money. At this point, she had the ability to sniff out true affection, and these two had it in spades. Many couples she saw facing emergency room disasters together didn’t have the same good luck.

“You got that right, Doc. You know the first time we met was at the -,”

Earl’s story was unceremoniously interrupted by the crackling of the PA system specific to this room. It buzzed for a few moments before a message was delivered in a saccharine sweet voice that sounded nothing like the announcer’s normal tone.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station, code 741.”

Emma waited for the feed to cut off and began to tell Earl to please go on with the story, but the call came out again.

“Paging Doctor Swan to the Nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, code 741.”

“You know she’s just going to keep doing that until she gets her way,” Belle murmured. Emma nodded. It was no use. What Ruby Lucas wanted, Ruby Lucas got. That just seemed to be the way of the world.

“Belle, would you mind telling Ruby I’m with a patient at the moment? I will be there when I can. She can always proceed without me.”

Belle snorted out a laugh, knowing that last part would never happen, but gave a swift affirmation that she would relay the message before waving goodbye to the MacDonald’s and promising to see them soon. As her friend headed out, Emma sighed, knowing there was no way Ruby was going to give things up that easily. She had a matter of moments before some new tactic would be deployed.

“I’m sorry about that. You were saying?”

“Eh it’s kind of a long story, and you’ve got places to be, Doc. Just know, true love won out in the end with me and my Loraine. It always does.”

Emma couldn’t deny that their love appeared true even after their fifty plus years together. She personally had never experienced a love like that, but she was wondering more and more if maybe it was out there, somewhere in the later chapters of her story. For years she thought herself above that kind of need. She found validation in herself and in her work. She dedicated herself to helping others, and that had always been enough. But the loneliness that became a constant when she was growing up in foster care still lingered, and she wondered if someone might ever come along who could inspire her to take a chance and risk her heart.

“You know, I actually worked as a nurse before my kids were born,” Loraine commented easily. Emma nodded and smiled as she checked the last of Mr. MacDonald’s IV drips. Emma was aware of the older woman’s solid medical understanding. Loraine had continued to demonstrate it the entire time her husband was admitted in this ward. “I’m trying to remember if I ever ran into a code 741.”

“Oh, uh, I think – well, erm, I mean you probably didn’t,” Emma said, hoping she didn’t turn beet red at the passing comment from the older woman. She was already stuttering, which was completely out of character and eighty shades of embarrassing. Loraine’s words feigned ignorance, but her eyes told a different story. Still Emma tried to play it off. “It’s really not a big deal. Just a non-emergent protocol.”

Another alert sounded, but this time it came through the ceiling unit reserved for announcements to the wider reaches of the hospital. “Attention to all surgical ward personnel. We are paging Doctor Swan to the nurse’s station. Doctor Swan, you are needed at the nurse’s station immediately for a code 741.” The talking stopped, but the air crackled signaling that the line was still live. “Immediately.”

“Sounds pretty urgent to me,” Loraine replied. The curiosity in her gaze told Emma that the older woman was onto them, but it was Earl’s comment that cut too close for comfort.

“When I was in the war, all of our numeric codes corresponded to letters. So 7 was H, 4 was D, 1 was A. H – D – A. HDA, now what could that be….?” Uh oh. Now Emma really had to get out of here before she accidentally admitted Ruby’s code’s meaning – Hot Doctor Alert. That would be the cherry on top of a full-blown mortification sundae.

“All righty, well like I told Belle, all your scans look good. Doctor Whale is on shift this evening during the next series of rounds, so I’ll make sure your file is ready for him.”

“Of course, dear, and good luck with your doctor, er – I mean – code.”

Emma stammered out something like an ‘okay thanks,’ while leaving. She tried to get her bearings once she was out of sight of the room, but she had nowhere to go. Everyone on this floor had just heard her page, and there were bound to be at least a few who understood the meaning. She was so embarrassed, and more than a little ticked at Ruby. She was supposed to be her best friend, but she was always pulling these crazy stunts. They were mostly harmless, but for Emma, who hated being the subject of hospital gossip, it was anxiety inducing to say the least.

“Please tell me that you did not just broadcast that to the entire hospital,” Emma said, arriving at the nurse’s station with a sense of urgency, and watching some of the other nurses scurry off to avoid the confrontation. Ruby, however, was unfazed. Actually, the nurse manager just rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag and phone from her cubby, as if Emma was the one who was annoying and not the other way around.

“And here I was thinking we were the best of friends. Soul sisters, kindred spirits, friends for life. But no, ye of little faith, you actually believe I would broadcast the hot doc alert to all of Mist Haven? What kind of friend would do that?”

“But if you didn’t… then how did you…?” Emma’s questions trailed off, but her arms flailed towards the ceiling and the look on her face spoke for itself – how had Ruby used the hospital wide PA system without actually broadcasting to the entire hospital?

“You know Tink up in nuero?” Emma nodded, well acquainted with the nurse manager who had Ruby’s job on the fifth floor but with a specialization of the brain and nervous system. She was a tiny woman, but she ruled that ward with more than capable hands. “She and I bribed the IT guys to make the nurse managers an override. Now we can circumvent the PA software whenever we want. Bring some of you more stubborn Doctors to heal when it comes to answering our pages.”

“That’s… well, actually that’s genius,” Emma admitted.

“I like to think so,” Ruby teased, offering a genuine smile. The two friends laughed at all of this, and Emma felt so much better knowing that their secret was still relatively secure. The last thing she wanted was everyone knowing how she was spending her lunch breaks these days.

“Gus, you’re holding down the fort while I’m gone, right?” Ruby asked, her smile turning slightly wicked with the purposeful jest aimed at the new nursing aid sitting behind the desk.

“Me?” The new hire replied, suddenly white as a sheet. Emma had never seen the man so stricken, and as a new nurse he had plenty of high-stress moments to look alarmed during. “I – uh – well – I -,”

“It’s called comedic relief, Gus. Commonly referred to as joking. Do me a favor, learn about it by the end of shift, kay?” Ruby pivoted to the person she actually trusted to man the fort. “Thirty minutes work for you, Belle?”

“I’ve got it handled.”

“Excellent. We’ll return with a full report,” Ruby said, grabbing Emma’s arm and moving them down the hallway before Emma could even say goodbye. “Newbies – can’t live with them, can’t pawn off scut work without them.”

“You are terrible. And yet… the look on his face just now…? Priceless,” Emma acquiesced. “But seriously, Ruby, can we PLEASE find another way to page me for this? My patients are not stupid, and the code isn’t exactly original. It’s kind of…” Ruby’s grin was so big that it stopped Emma in her tracks. She was currently trying to hold her friend to account, but Ruby looked like she’d won the lottery. “What?”

“You are so totally into him! I mean listen to you right now.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Emma said, feeling her cheeks flush against her will.

“Exactly,” Ruby said. “You’re telling me to be more discreet when I send the bat signal, but you still want me to send it. Do you realize how unlike you that is?”

“Despite what you may think, Ruby. I’m a doctor, I’m not dead. I can appreciate a hot guy now and again.”

“Doubtful. Remember last month when all those pro hockey players were here after Ocheski collapsed on the ice? You had a room full of crazy sexy men. Like virile, hot, muscled men who get paid big money to beat each other up on the ice. Most women would die for that chance, and to make it even better, most of them were hitting on you. And what did you do? Nothing. You didn’t even blink.”

“They were not hitting on me,” Emma affirmed, but the words were hollow. They had been trying to flirt with her. A few had even attempted to get her number.

“They were hitting on you,” Ruby said adamantly.

“He was a patient, and the rest of them were essentially his family. You know I’d never cross that line. Doesn’t count.”

“Fine, then what about Dr. King? When he came for that conjoined twins case last year, you had no interest. Zero. Zilch.”

“King was an asshole, you know that,” Emma said, belatedly catching her use of profanity and checking that no patients were around. Luckily the coast was clear.

“So? You didn’t have to marry the guy. Hot is hot, honey. That’s just how things are.”

Emma barked out a laugh at even the thought of marrying someone like that. Arthur King was just about the worst person she could fathom to spend a life with. He was narcissistic and carrying around one of the biggest god-complexes she’d ever seen, and she was a surgeon, so she was an expert on god-complexes.

“Your face really says it all, Emma. I mean honestly, poker would be a terrible game for you to take up. Your contempt for King is obvious, but, meanwhile, as soon as I mention Doctor Jones… aha! See, totally shifted.”

Emma didn’t know what to say to that. She could try and protest, but her friend knew her too well for that. The best thing to do was say nothing, and she was saved by their arrival at their destination. The coffee cart in the center of the action, near the entrance of Mist Haven. Here was where the wards crossed paths. Her surgical wing met up with the specialties departments, the ER, the community clinic, and more. It was also swarmed with both hospital workers and visitors. Typically, this was the last place she wanted to be, but recently it had become a highlight of her day.

“Emma? Ruby? What’s brought you out here?” a voice asked. It was Mary Margaret, and given her street clothes and jacket, Emma would guess she was just starting her shift.

“Haven’t you heard? There’s fresh meat from the ER. Two showings a day, but we favor the afternoon delight.”

“Oh right,” Mary Margaret said, nodding, like Ruby’s words were totally normal, and for Ruby they were. “I heard about the new ER Chief. Doctor Nolan? I meant to get down there and bring him something to welcome him, but I’ve been so swamped this week. My caseload is crazy at the moment. I hope he won’t think too badly of me for being a bit late.”

“Mary Margaret, literally no one in a hospital brings people cupcakes as a welcome gift, especially not new guys in other departments.” Ruby was not wrong. Hospitals were hardly the most happy-go-lucky of places. At least not usually. “Believe me, the man will be grateful whenever they come. If he even eats them. He’s fit – like fit, fit. Keto diet and a personal trainer fit. The kind of fit that makes you -,”

“Careful, Ruby,” Emma teased. “What if Graham heard you saying that?”

“God, I wish. You know how worked up he gets, and how he works out his frustrations.” Ruby’s tone was dripping in suggestion. “It’s one of the many reasons I live to drive him crazy.”

Emma and Mary Margaret laughed at Ruby’s apt assessment of her relationship with her boyfriend. Ruby had been dating the fireman for almost a year now, since he came in on one of the ambulance bays with a victim he’d rescued from a fire, but Ruby was hardly the predictable type, and Graham seemed to love that about her. They were still going strong despite her willful, wild child nature, and Emma suspected they may be built to last.

“Doctor Nolan must really be something to get you out here, Emma,” Mary Margaret said, moving forward in the line, inching ever closer to the mediocre coffee the cart promised.

“Ha! Hardly. Emma’s not here for Nolan. She’s here for Jones.”

“Jones?” Mary Margaret asked.

“Girl, where have you been? Doctor Killian Jones, trauma surgeon extraordinaire. Chief Mills brought him here for a ‘collaboration’ with the ER, but she’s totally trying to recruit him for head of his own department. Turns out he and David Nolan are old friends. Same medical school maybe? I don’t know, no one’s gotten me those details yet. Anyway, Regina hardly leaves him alone. She only misses this little window because she’s hooking up with Doctor Locksley in the supply room on the 2nd floor.”

“She’s WHAT?!” Emma and Mary Margaret yelled at the same time and Ruby looked aghast for the first time today. Some other hospital staff in the area glanced over, but no one paid much mind beyond a head nod. Everyone was absorbed in their own need for caffeine, and no one was the wiser of the bombshell Ruby had just dropped.

“Oh shoot, I wasn’t supposed to say that. I promised Ella, damn it!”

“Ella, her assistant? I thought she quit,” Mary Margaret stage whispered.

“Oh she did. Made it a whole two months, which, you know, makes sense given the fact that Regina is a nightmare. But the last week she was here, she learned a crucial secret regarding her Majesty. She spilled last week at The White Rabbit, but I promised her I wouldn’t tell until she’s settled at her new job at GMH. So you did not hear this from me, and I did not hear this from her, capische?”

“I can’t believe the Evil Queen is dating someone,” Mary Margaret said, deeply disturbed by the idea. She shuddered at the thought, and this was someone who loved love. But love and Regina Mills didn’t really feel like concepts that belonged in the same sentence. Scratch that, they didn’t really even belong in the same book. “She’s just so…”

“Evil?” Emma responded. The nickname worked for a reason, after all. The hospital Chief was downright tyrannical.

“Exactly.”

“Well dating is a stretch. She’s screwing someone. But then again, who knows. Ella said she actually saw her smiling in those final days. And not that evil one she’s famous for. Like a real, genuine, I have a heart, smile.”

“No way,” Emma said at the same time Mary Margaret murmured, “Well would you look at that.”

“Don’t worry. I’m on the case. The temp is a totally easy mark – Sydney something. I’m buying him lunch tomorrow. I’ll have the whole story before you know it.”

“Won’t Graham be proud,” Emma chuckled, but her joke fell on deaf ears as something caught Ruby’s attention across the way. Her friend’s countenance changed immediately, putting Emma on alert.

“Ooh, they’re coming! Act normal.”

Normally, Emma would have laughed at that command, but she was too busy feeling the spike of adrenaline at the impending arrival of one Doctor Killian Jones. He really was a world-renowned trauma surgeon, who was working on a number of cutting-edge techniques that saved lives and gave critical care patients better chances to recover. She had actually heard of him a few years ago when reading about a new procedure to treat arrhythmia in patients with traumatic injury. He engineered it in the field, while serving in the British naval forces, and his paper had been circulating in cardiac wings around the country, but she never saw the man before last week when he arrived in Boston. Suffice it to say she could not have imagined that this marvel of modern medicine would also be so roguishly handsome.

Spotting him today across the great hall, Emma was struck again by just how attractive this man was. She couldn’t even comprehend it really. All she knew was that she had yet to find a fault in him. Every day she’d stolen secret glances, and every time he proved better than her memory. It was crazy, and very reminiscent of schoolgirl crushes and teenage day dreams, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. It was intoxicating, and despite her best efforts, she was powerless to turn Ruby’s invites to the show down when she could witness this each and every day.

The first thing that she’d noticed about him was his general presence. His posture was strong and straight and assured. He looked ready for anything, but somehow laid back, like he was totally in control. People naturally parted when he walked by, as if he silently willed the flow of the hospital traffic. Ruby called it swagger. Emma called it… well something not quite safe for work. Couple that general aura of authority with the classically gorgeous features of his face, and Emma was lost. On that first day (and okay, maybe on the others as well), she actually felt her knees get weak. She always thought that was a bogus cliché, but nope, it was real, and she was the proof of it. From there she was hooked, and over time she’d chronicled more and more things to like about him.

Yesterday it had been his hair. As she watched him across the atrium, she noticed that the shade shone bright in the sun, but that it was nearer to midnight than any color brown. It was slightly longer than most of the other male doctors wore theirs, but not so long that it looked unkempt or unprofessional, at least not yet. She knew for a fact that the military never would allow for such a style, and it felt like a bit of rebellion, or maybe a lack of care for what others thought. Both sent a delicious thrill through Emma, even though she had no real confirmation one way or another. Maybe he was just lazy, but that wasn’t how she imagined him…

And oh boy did she imagine him. At first she hadn’t meant to. She just had these flashbacks to seeing him that she carried through the day. These visceral visions always started the same: he would walk by, looking downright delicious and impossible to resist, then he would turn his eyes her way here in the middle of the hospital hustle and bustle. She’d feel caught in his stare, sense the hunger even from the distance, and her heart would quicken to a maddening crescendo as he walked her way. The rest of the world would fade from view, and it would feel like they were the only two people alive. Her gaze would stay transfixed on his almost cocky composure and the hard line of his bearded jaw. The attraction in his blue eyes would light a fire in her, and then, without so much as a word like ‘hello’ or ‘nice to meet you,’ he’d pull her into his embrace and kiss her senseless. She could practically taste him on her tongue, and yet she’d never even heard him speak. People who had, who were later interrogated by Ruby, mentioned that he had an accent. British or Irish, or something along those lines. That tidbit had played oh so sweetly in Emma’s mind this week. God, she’d love to hear him say her name -,

“Emma,” a voice beside her said, but it didn’t pull her out of the fog. “Oh my God, Emma, he’s looking right at you.”

“He’s what?” Emma said, blinking back to reality before finding that Doctor Jones was looking this way. She’d been so busy fantasizing, she stopped paying attention to what was right in front of her.

In the middle of the room, the man who had intrigued her for over a week was standing totally still, disregarding the swarm of people on all sides. His entire attention had shifted from the task ahead of him, and he was looking at her, staring with a blend of intrigue and something Emma couldn’t describe. Doctor Nolan had stopped as well, but he was clearly confused as to the delay. He seemed to ask his friend what was wrong, and Emma watched spell bound, as the lips she’d envisioned kissing her moved in some kind of unheard reply. She couldn’t make out his words, but she shivered at the passion and determination etched across his being. David then looked their way, and Emma knew that Doctor Jones – Killian - had asked about them. No, forget that, he had asked about her. He was looking right at her, and that spark of heat and desire she’d always imagined was nowhere near as tantalizing as the real thing. He was looking at her with the same hunger she’d reserved for her wildest imaginings. Holy crap, what was she going to do?

“Ruby?” she asked, her voice squeaked out in alarm. She tore her gaze from the approaching object of her desire and looked to her best friend with overt confusion and mild panic.

“Took him long enough to spot you. It’s been almost a week. I thought I was going to have to hire a marching band or one of those giant arrow guys they have at outlet malls.”

Emma didn’t understand, and then it dawned on her – her friend had planned this. Emma looked at Mary Margaret, but she was still staring in the distance. Only when Emma followed her gaze did she realize that Mary Margaret wasn’t looking at Killian. She was looking at David.

“Hey, ladies, you looking to order, or what? I ain’t got all day!”

The three of them jumped at the barista’s interruption and Mary Margaret surged ahead to the line. She rattled off an order, giving way too much money to the attendant while grabbing her cup with shaky hands. Then she looked at David and back to Emma with an expression that said Mary Margaret may just bolt. Ok, what the actual hell was going on?

Before she could begin to answer that internal question, Doctor Jones and Doctor Nolan were within ear shot. Emma wracked her brain for something to say when they finally got here, but was spared when David broke the ice.

“Doctor Swan,” he said with a head nod and a polite smile. They knew each other peripherally at this point. Emma had consulted on numerous ER cases since Doctor Nolan started his new position. But she wouldn’t call them friends. They were very much acquaintances. “I heard Earl MacDonald is recovering nicely. He most definitely has you to thank for that.”

“And you too,” she said, offering credit where it was due. “A quick diagnosis makes all the difference. I’ve noticed the ER is filled with them since you started.”

“That’s kind of you. I don’t believe you’ve met my friend, Doctor Jones.”

“Killian,” Doctor Jones said immediately, before offering a heart stopping smile of his own. Emma had yet to see the man smile, and her heart skipped a beat, the rhythm of her pulse skittering in an almost blissful way. “A pleasure to meet you, Swan.”

He offered his hand to her, and Emma took it, shaking in greeting even though it was uncommon for doctors or nursing staff to do so. Chief Mills stressed that germ management was a top priority at Mist Haven, and she’d come as close to banning the practice as was legal in the state of Massachusetts. Usually Emma didn’t mind, but germs were the farthest thing from her radar when their fingers touched. Instead, Emma was filled with the zapping sense of promise and a thrill of warmth that made her head swim.

“Emma,” she whispered. A beat passed between them, and Emma lost herself for too long. Only the clearing of a throat beside them brought her back to the moment. She let go of his hand, but tracked the slight disappointment on his face when she did. It filled her with a rush of something long forgotten. A sense of peace and elation she hadn’t tasted in years. “Um these are my friends, Ruby Lucas and Mary Margaret Blanchard. Ruby’s the head nurse in the cardiac unit. And Mary Margaret runs OT for the surgical division.”

Emma tore her gaze from Killian, watching her friends make their greetings. Ruby handled her own completely, and Mary Margaret seemed to have gathered her courage, but now it was David who looked shocked and spell bound. Everyone appeared to be thrown off kilter, and it was only Ruby in control of herself. To say her friend was positively delighted with these new developments would be an understatement. That glee rang out clear as day in her invite to both the attending doctors.

“So… Doctor Nolan, Doctor Jones, any way we could convince you to join us? The coffee’s just all right, but the company’s not half bad.”

Both men agreed immediately, and Emma fought her hardest not to blush. It was hard though, and her pulse was racing in the face of this development. Killian came to stand by her, the space between them so small but still too much to bear. She tried to get her bearings as the cranky barista handed her a latte. She struggled to think of something – anything – to say, but she was tongue tied. Instead, she looked at Killian, finding an openness in his expression that said he felt the same exact way. That gave her comfort and removed some of the tension from the moment.

“The hospital’s been buzzing since you got here,” Emma offered, waiting with him while he ordered a no nonsense coffee of his own. “A lot of people are hoping you’ll stay on past the month.”

“And you, love? Have you such hopes?” his words were earnest but laced with an almost cocky easiness that sent Emma’s mind humming in delight. Still, she played it cool. At least she hoped she did.

“Jury’s still out,” she replied, smiling when he looked a little crestfallen. “Well can you blame me? I hardly even know you. Still haven’t seen what you’re capable of.”

“Only a matter of time, Swan. You can trust in that.”

His words may seem benign, but they were loaded with hidden meaning, and Emma knew he meant each one. She swallowed harshly, thinking of the things he might be capable of. Damn, was it hot in here? Or was it just the devil on her shoulder spinning another one of those dirty dreams of hers?

When they’d all gotten a coffee, the five of them moved off to the patio just outside, reserved for hospital staff. The grounds were manicured beautifully, maintaining an oasis that seemed totally disconnected from the hectic nature of the hospital. This was one of Emma’s favorite places here, and she was surprised to hear that neither David nor Killian had been here yet. They all spent a few minutes making non-threatening small talk, with mostly Ruby moving the conversations along. But despite the fluttering feeling she was grappling with, Emma couldn’t say she hated this building anticipation. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much. She was seated next to Killian, fully aware that all of his attention was devoted to her, and she reveled in it. At one point, while the others were talking about something with the OT department, Killian whispered to her and her alone.

“This might be presumptuous of me, love, but I find I’m helpless to resist. I was wondering – that is, I was hoping that perhaps, you and I, we could…” His eyes looked from hers down to her lips, and Emma wet them absentmindedly. She heard a low growl, and realized it was coming from him. She shifted in her seat, turned on in a way she had never been before. Instinctively she moved closer, sensing the sinfully sweet current between them, like lightning just before it cracked across the summer sky.

“We could…” she continued, hoping he would elaborate and put into words what she herself was wishing for.

“That we could -,”

“Paging all staff to the ER. All staff to the ER for an incoming trauma, category 4.”

This time the PA was most definitely broadcasting a hospital wide announcement, and the irony wasn’t lost on Emma. Ruby looked positively forlorn at the interruption, but it was somewhat poetic after how they’d gotten here.

“Category four,” David repeated, standing immediately, prompting all of them to do the same. “We haven’t had a four since I started. We’re gonna need all hands on deck. Killian?”

“Aye, mate. I’m with you.” He looked back to Emma, and only had time for the swiftest goodbye. “Until next time, love.”

Emma and her friends watched them go, running towards the ER. Belatedly, they realized that if a trauma of that magnitude was coming into the hospital, there were bound to be surgical cases flooding their ward soon enough. They hustled back to their wing, focused once more on their jobs and the lives on the line that they were sworn to help heal and make better. But Emma still carried that moment with her for the rest of the day, and when the shift was over and done, and she’d done all she could to help the people in her care, she was left wondering what exactly Doctor Jones was hoping to ask, and when, oh when, he may try to do so again.

Post-Note: So there we have it. This was originally going to be a oneshot for my CS mixtape series, but alas, the muse wants what she wants, and this time that’s a three part mini-story for all of us to share. Hope that you guys have enjoyed so far and I would love to hear what you think! As always, thanks so much for reading, and I hope you are all staying well in this crazy time! xE

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan au #cs fic #cs #cs ff #cs fluff #cs smut #cs meet cute #captain swan meet cute #emma swan #killian jones #ruby lucas #snowing fic #the best bad idea #the best bad idea 1 #cs doctors au #cs medical au #once upon a time

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sankyeom · 4 years

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belle’s 2020 tumblr wrap up

i almost didn’t make one of these because i lost my laptop charger on my flight home to california and i didn’t want to type this out on my phone but after being tagged in so many people’s wonderful end-of-year messages (thank you @sunlightwoo @heartyyjeno @atbzkingdom @chaoticdeobi @xfirebenderx @fairyoftbz and for including me thus far 💗) i decided i had to join this beautiful love fest and end the year on a good note!

m i l e s t o n e s (personal and for the blog) ✨

◇ on february 17th 2020 i started stanning (and eventually ulting) the boyz! ↳ this is important because i had been listening to the boyz’s music since no air era, but never watched their videos or learned the members’ names. after stanning the boyz, i was introduced to my beautiful deobiblr, which is such a warm and welcoming community. i met most of treasured mutuals through this community and honestly don’t know what i’d do without it!

◇ on april 23rd 2020 i reached 1,000 followers on my blog! ↳ this was very special to me because i have previously reached 1k followers on many different platforms (quotev.com, wattpad, a different tumblr blog, etc.) but after not writing for a long time i was worried people wouldn’t like my writing anymore or that i wouldn’t be good at it after taking a break. reaching this number was surreal for me and it made me realise that i wanted to study creative writing in university, which i am now doing!

◇ on may 30th 2020 i graduated high school! ↳ i graduated with honours and a 4.0 along with a lot of life-long friends that i had made in the two years i spent at my competitive, college-prep private school. i faced a lot of hardships but eventually got through it and i am a better person for it. congratulations to all the graduates who didn’t get the graduation they all dreamed of, you did something spectacular this year!

◇ on august 24th 2020 i started university as a creative writing major! ↳ 2020 was a crazy year for everyone and it made picking which uni to go to really hard, but there was one uni in particular that loved my admissions essay and wrote to me personally saying they would love to have me in their creative writing program, which really touched me and interested me in this uni. i’ve always been someone who finds academics really important so i had gotten multiple scholarship offers from different “higher ranking” universities, but i was able to learn what was important to me in picking a school that would both foster my learning and make me feel at home.

◇ on september 21st 2020 i got my first ever B on a test! ↳ and i was really happy about it. in high school i strived to get 100% on every test and would have panic attacks when i got even a single point off. i wish i was joking, but that’s the truth. i’ve always been a perfectionist and i wanted to have a more healthy relationship with my personal expectations in university. being in uni helped me to pace myself academically and learn to juggle doing fun things – like this lovely blog – alongside studying. i still managed to get all As in my final grades for this semester, but i really loved letting myself get Bs and take breaks.

◇ on october 18th 2020 i reached 2,000 followers on my blog! ↳ if you read how important reaching 1k to me was, you can probably guess how amazing and emotional this was for me. not only did i have enough followers to fill three of my high schools, but i had made a lot of friends at this point, and that was so special to me. i had also never done a special series to celebrate a milestone, and as i stand here on december 31st with 2,457 followers, i have yet to finish my 2k celebration due to taking a short break from writing. don’t worry though, it’s all coming very soon!

◇ on november 29th 2020 i reached 1,000 notes on a masterlist! ↳ facade? was my first social media au masterlist to reach 1,000 notes and when that happened, it truly blew my mind. i have no words to describe how special that moment was for me. a lot of people loved it because they resonated with the main character or because they found all the plot twists fun, and i really love that so many people enjoyed it and gave it a chance, despite the general plot being quite common.

◇ on december 7th 2020 i reached 1,000 notes on a fic! ↳ he loves me, he loves me not was my first one shot/fic to reach 1,000 notes and my second fic ever to reach 1k notes, which was literally crazy. so many people have reached out to me about that fic and how much it resonated with them and their experiences, and i just loved that this was the first written fic i ever had reach 1k notes because of the emotional implications.

m u t u a l s 💛

i have so much love and appreciation for you all, it’s unreal. i’m a very shy, often times insecure, and quiet person so i have a hard time reaching out to people. this means that minimal interactions actually mean a lot to me, so please never think that i don’t love or support you guys just because i’m a little quiet. that being said, here are some mutuals who i have gotten to know better in 2020 and a little love letter for you each 💌

@xfirebenderx

💌 nani, you were one of my very first mutuals here on tumblr back when i ulted seventeen and literally never spoke to anyone or interacted with people other than the few anons in my inbox. you made me feel comfortable and welcome here on tumblr, and i’ve always seen you like an older sister figure because of that. your enthusiasm and support are often times unparalleled because you never hold back anything and i am in awe of how lovely you are. thank you for having my back this year and making me feel so supported! 🌟

@chaoticdeobi

💌 bea, you’re such a ray of sunshine and brightness in my life and on my dash, i’m in awe of how much of a social butterfly you are! you were one of the reasons i started writing for the boyz because i felt excited when i read your fics and i was extremely impressed with how immersive your writing was (and still is!). aside from your amazing writing abilities, you’re truly someone who i feel comfortable with even though we haven’t spoken that much privately, and you have an amazing gift of making people feel accepted and at home. thank you for being a wonderful brightness in my life this year! 🌼

@heartyyjeno

💌 alesha, i’ve said this to you many times before but i truly treasure you as a person and as a friend. you are without a doubt one of the most supportive and uplifting people that i’ve met on tumblr, and i can always rely on you to make me feel like i’m loved and a good writer, especially on days where i feel like i’m neither. i know that 2020 has been a struggle for you and i wish i could have done more to support you, so i hope you take this love letter as evidence of how loved you are and how much i cherish you as a person and as a friend. thank you for being my rock this year! 🌷

@httpsohnpouts

💌 rosie, you are someone who is very dear to me and i always feel so lucky to be your friend! we’ve spoken quite a bit this year and i loved getting to know you and finding out we stan/ult so many of the same groups! i loved gushing over dark haired eric, seunghoon from cix, and blackpink’s comebacks with you this year so much because it made me feel much closer to you! you’re always one of the first people i send love chains to on tumblr and i just really appreciate your lovely energy every time we interact. thank you for being a caring friend for me this year! 🌹

@stealerz

💌 qiu, first of all your url change is absolutely adorable and i’m a huge fan. second of all, your writing is so stunning and it was also another reason why i wanted to start writing for the boyz this year! you’re somebody who i often see on my dash and try to interact with, and it always feels a little surreal when you gush over my writing because i look up to you in that sense. you are such a lovely friend who i don’t talk to very often because i’m shy, but i feel like you’re always around to remind me that you support me and just make me feel loved here on tumblr. thank you for being an inspiration to me and sending me so many cheerful love chains on tumblr this year! 🌻

@neoskidz (i wasn’t sure which of your blogs to tag so i’ll add @chocolattees just in case)

💌 elsie, i always feel undeserving of your hype and excitement when you comment on my fics or leave me lovely asks in my inbox to sing my (absolutely undeserving) praises. you’re someone who seems very bright and warm-hearted so i always feel comfortable around you, and i only wish i could have praised you and given you as much love as you did for me in 2020. i love when you randomly pop up in my inbox and i love to hear about how you’re doing because i feel like it’s the least i can do to show you that i support you and am always interested to hear what you’re up to! thank you for reminding me that friends can come from anywhere and for always being so compassionate this year! 💐

@deobienthusiast

💌 k, i always look forward to when you reach the latest chapter of my social media fics because i’m always living to hear your reactions to them! i always feel so lucky that you interact with me and reach out so much because i’m shy and it makes it a lot easier for me to talk to you and actually get to know you. i love that we stan so many of the same groups and can always gush about cix and the boyz together, especially when we tag each other under any posts that have to do with blond baejin. you are honestly someone who i feel very relaxed with because we talk so often and have so many of the same interests, i really appreciate your presence in my life. thank you for being someone who i can talk to about my fics and all of our bias wreckers this year! 🌈

@atbzkingdom

💌 dee, i’ve said this before but you’re a literal ray of sunshine to me and you warm me up like the sun with all of our interactions. i always love to hear your comments about my fics because you never hold back and always unleash so much excitement onto me that i can’t help but reciprocate and allow myself to get super hype and happy. you have an ability to make me open up and actually feel excited about my friendships here on tumblr and my own writing, which can be really hard for me sometimes. i’m blessed that you look up to me and i have to say that i absolutely look up to you as well, in more ways than just your writing! thank you for being my personal hype-man and helping me come out of my shell this year! ✨

@lsangyeons

💌 yu, i think you are seriously so damn talented it’s actually unbelievable. not only are you an amazing writer but your designs, sketches and other amazing works of art are just so inspiring and i find it incredible that you’re so multifaceted. you’re always someone who i think very genuinely wants to know how i’m doing and is always ready to catch up and share what you’re working on with me, and i find that really illuminating and fun because you’re so talented. thank you for reaching out to me so often and making me feel comforted this year! ❄️

@fairyoftbz

💌 rosy, i am totally kicking myself right now for not reaching out as often as i wanted to because i feel like we get along well and we could be really close if i wasn’t so shy and bad at keeping up with my asks/mentions. i think you’re a lovely person and i’ve felt so fortunate to have gotten to know you better this year. as i mentioned before, you’re a very thoughtful person and i look forward to getting to know you better in 2021! thank you for being a supportive friend to me this year! 🪐

@sunlightwoo

💌 gina, i adore you, and that’s the absolute truth. i’ve been so happy that we were able to connect this year and become friends because you are a fiercely supportive and lovely mutual to have. i have to thank the kpop gods for getting you to start standing the boyz so we could meet and be friends after all this time. i love how you yell and gush about my fics because it makes me feel like i’m actually writing something people like and not just rubbish that i come up with in my head, and you make me feel grounded and supported, which i can only hope to reciprocate just as enthusiastically to you! thank you for being a fiercly kind and supportive friend to me this year! 🌠

here are some people who i haven’t interacted with much (because, like i’ve said, i’m terribly shy and don’t interact with people much in general (feel free to reach out though i would love to chat 🥺)) but still wanted to mention! i love and appreciate you all for replying to my posts, recommending my fics or just posting really amazing content here on tumblr for us all to enjoy, and that i’d love to get to know you better in 2021!! @1ovejisung @jenoleeaesthetic @thepixelelf @honeycobie @tbzwurld @meltingjukyu @mae-gi-writes if i’ve forgotten everyone i’m terribly sorry but also very jetlagged and bad at keeping track of my friends xx

a n o n s 🦋

i’m grateful to everyone who joined my anon list this year and i’ve genuinely enjoyed all of our interactions so much! i wanted to give a short thank you to a few specific anons but i also love my other anons, 🐝 anon, 🧸 anon, 💫 anon, 🦋 anon, 🥯 anon, 🍇 anon, 🌜 anon, 💒 anon, and 🦕 anon a lot and appreciate you all! thank you for joining my anon list and i hope we can continue to get to know each other in 2021!

🤍 anon 💌 you always check on me and ask me how i’m doing, and i feel so comfortable around you it’s like talking to a friend. we always talk about anything and everything and i appreciate that you’ve been such a constant in my life this year!

🌱 anon 💌 my sweet deobi 🌱 anon! i love gushing about the boyz and my social media fics with you, it’s always so fun to see how passionate you are and it’s honestly everything to me.

🐹 anon 💌 you really feel like a sibling or a friend to me because you’re always telling me to take care of myself and encouraging me to take breaks and be happy. i want everything that you encouraged me to do for you as well and i hope that you take care of yourself and stay healthy/safe!

🐱 anon 💌 literally the absolutely king/queen of getting involved in my fics and gushing to me about how every chapter made you feel. i love seeing your responses and i’m always so touched when you leave me simple messages telling me to have a good weekend or asking me to be your friend. we are absolutely, 100% friends my love!

🔮 anon 💌 you’re my most recent anon but i feel like we’ve known each other forever now! we talk quite often and i always love it when i see the little 🔮 emoji in my inbox because i love how enthusiastic and understanding you are. thank you for deciding to join my anon list so we could become closer!

f o l l o w e r s a n d r e a d e r s 💘

i doubt that all 2,457 of my followers are going to see this, but i’m going to write this as if you all will anyway. thank you for being here and for caring about my content enough to hit the follow button. numbers don’t mean much and are quite arbitrary, but i still think that it’s amazing that there are 2,457 of you cuties who put up with me. to those of you who don’t follow me but read my fics/like and reblog my posts, thank you. i personally see those things as small praises and/or appreciations for my efforts and i wish i could tag you all here to tell you that i love and appreciate you, but tumblr won’t let me and i think most of you wouldn’t want that either. i couldn’t make a love letter to the people that shaped my 2020 without addressing all of you, so i hope that some of you decided to give this a read. i appreciate you and i want you here, healthy, and safe on this planet. please take care of yourselves as i would love to take care of you. x

#babbles #belle's babbles #magical mutuals ✨#wrap up #2020 wrap up

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singofsolace · 5 years

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Miranda Otto’s Filmography as seen through a specific lens

otherwise known as: I watched some of these things so you don’t have to. But more specifically, I want to share basic information about which of her films and tv series require trigger warnings. Honestly, I’ve never recovered from some of them (thinking about In Her Skin... but also Homeland... because what the actual fuck, Saul?)

This isn’t a complete list. It’s only 21 of over 60 credits Miranda has to her name, but I think these are probably some of her most famous roles. Please let me know what you think of these brief descriptions, and whether anything should be added or removed.

It should go without saying that there are spoilers below. Read at your own risk.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Zelda Spellman

A powerful role, but be aware Zelda is abused, raped (implied), and violently murdered (twice)

Downhill: Charlotte

I love this woman with all my heart, okay? Miranda Otto is supposed to be playing the most heterosexual woman ever, and instead manages to make every single scene gay as fuck.

The Silence: Kelly Andrews

Gets her leg mutilated (also it’s implied that she and Kiernan’s character would be made sex slaves by this random cult that shows up... which is super tasteful and not at all disgusting)

Annabelle: Creation: Esther Mullins

Face mutilated, eventually murdered (I think? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this one)

24: Legacy: Rebecca Ingram

Powerful woman kidnapped, tortured, and violently murdered

Homeland: Allison Carr

Powerful woman violently attacked by her former lover in full view of her coworkers. Riddled with bullets while she is curled in a trunk.

The Daughter: Charlotte

I’ve made a whole post about how I think Charlotte was raped by her employer, and that it therefore shouldn’t be framed as a sexy affair… but here we are.

I, Frankenstein: Leonore

Powerful woman kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip. I’ve also made a post about this one, and how Miranda Otto claims this part could have been played by a man, but the blatant sexism around the kidnap and ransom—making a woman who is the leader of warriors powerless to fight back against her attackers, and having her rescued in a way that frames her as a damsel in distress (complete with bridal carry)—makes me believe that Miss Otto doesn’t notice just how much sexism was written into the role.

Reaching for the Moon: Elizabeth Bishop

While as a whole, this movie is beautiful and wonderful and one of my all-time favorites, we need to still acknowledge that Lota and Elizabeth were in an incredibly toxic relationship—which I actually think is great representation, because abuse doesn’t just happen between a husband and a wife, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend, it can happen to anyone with any partner.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Lydia Andrews

I unapologetically adore Miranda in this one. She is so convincing as the grieving widow that the plot twist caught me completely by surprise. This is perhaps the only role that I’ve seen Miranda play where a bad woman was brought to justice, but in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with her gender. Justice was neutral and exacted without prejudice, in this case.

In Her Skin: Mrs. Barber

This is one of the most upsetting and disturbing films I’ve ever seen. Miranda Otto is brilliant in it, but playing the role of a mother whose daughter went missing (and then was brutally murdered) definitely took its toll. I will never understand why the movie released an interview during which Miranda was clearly distraught. She breaks down into tears multiple times just trying to talk about this movie (which was a real-life murder case).

Cashmere Mafia (TV Series): Juliet Draper

Okay, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Juliet Draper. I would cherish her and dote on her for the rest of her life if she were my wife. But in the actual show, her husband is a serial cheater. When her friends find out about it, they don’t judge her broken marriage, but they do give her the courage she needs to leave him. They tell her she deserves more—and she does!! But in the final episode there is a pretty disturbing plot about a multi-millionaire who wants to buy not only her Hotel company but also her… which is exactly as bad as it sounds.

War of the Worlds: Mary Ann

Miranda Otto is heavily pregnant and glowing in a grand total of five minutes of this movie, but oh, what wonderful five minutes!!

The Lord of the Rings: Eowyn

This is the role for which Miranda is most famous. I have nothing bad to say about Eowyn, except that she ought to have been given more screen time, and that there shouldn’t have been that creepy plot about the King’s advisor or whoever wanting to have sex with her. It was incredibly unnecessary and frames Eowyn as a potential victim in the beginning, which was completely unnecessary in terms of character/plot development.

Danny Deckchair: Glenda Lake

Glenda Lake is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Please for the love of Otto watch this film for baby Miranda in a sweet romantic comedy.

Julie Walking Home: Julie Makowsky

I don’t understand this film at all. It has one of the most absurd plots I’ve ever seen. Miranda’s husband/partner cheats on her and gets caught, and then he gets violent (in front of her children and multiple adult witnesses!!), and then their son gets cancer, and then she goes to Poland, and then a Healer tries to cure her son, and it works for a while, and eventually Julie (Miranda) has sex with the Healer, in order to teach him how to have sex? and then she gets pregnant by this man, and then her son’s cancer comes back, and then the Healer runs for the hills, and then her former partner takes her back so that they can all be a family again....?!?!?!?!

Human Nature: Gabrielle

This film made Miranda popular with a lot of creepy old men (okay maybe just Bruno Barreto based on this interview… (seriously I am so uncomfortable with the way he’s like… oh yes, I knew her from that film... and then later *places his hand on her bare knee/thigh* Lowell doesn’t give a shit about (Elizabeth/Miranda) being awkward!

(the implication being that Lowell is only interested in getting Elizabeth into his bed...)

anyway… she plays a sexy French scientist, who isn’t actually French. There’s lots of lingerie, dancing, and kissing.

The Jack Bull (TV Movie) Cora Redding

Miranda Otto dies an incredibly violent death in period costume for no apparent reason besides generating male pain.

Dead Letter Office: Alice Walsh

Young!Miranda is so cute in this, but there’s a sort of ambiguously creepy older man-younger woman relationship… because Alice (Miranda) is looking for a father figure… and anyway I don’t remember this film well enough to comment more specifically, but I remember it being lovely except for the age difference between Alice and the guy in charge of the missing letters.

Doing Time for Patsy Cline: Patsy

I watched this purely for Miranda, and I do think it’s good, but only her part in it. Miranda plays the “busty bimbo with a heart” incredibly well. I remember being scared for her character, because her husband was a mean drunk/drug addict, but I don’t think any actual violence gets portrayed… but someone who has watched this more recently can correct me if I’m wrong.

Sex is a Four Letter Word

I only made it through half of this film before I turned it off. I wouldn’t watch it unless you’ve ingested/inhaled some substances and don’t mind people monologuing about their terrible sex experiences.

...

Let me know if you’d like to know more about any of these films!

#miranda otto #zelda spellman #allison carr #eowyn of rohan #downhill #lotr

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mcwriting · 5 years

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starstruck (5)

It’s finally here!!! I’m so sorry this took literally 5ever but it’s here now! Ch 6 is also written but I don’t plan on releasing it until 7 is done. In the meantime, I’ll be releasing some other things I’ve had in the works for a while so be on the lookout for those ;)

Thanks to all who’ve followed me and been reading! I love you!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Fandom: Tommy Holland

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Setting: LA in general

Word Count: 2013

Warnings: a little bit of language; general sad time emotions

Rating: K+ still i guess

__________________________________

You had run up the stairs upon entering your house, yelling out a quick “hey I’m home” to your parents to keep from rising suspicion.

You tossed your bag onto your desk chair and went and sat on the big bean bag in the corner of your room, curling up into it under a blanket.

It was nearing 4 o’clock and you knew that the beans would be spilled any moment now.

You were absolutely nauseous.

You refreshed Instagram over and over until a notification came up at the top of your feed.

Tomholland2013 started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

Tears slipped down your cheeks again and you clicked on it, turning up the volume as the obviously anguished face of your worst nightmare appeared on the screen. The way his eyes puffed unnaturally led you to believe he, too, had been crying.

He waited a few seconds for people to join and weakly smiled. It broke your heart to see him in this state, but it pained you even more to know how it had come to this.

“Hey, everyone,” he began quietly, waving to the camera. You recognized the background photos from his hotel room and continued to weep harder.

Comments were rolling in, concerned fans asking Tom if he was okay and what was going on. Even some of his celebrity friends appeared to be confused in the comments.

“I wanted to address some rumors going on about me and the mystery girl. That girl is y/n y/l/n. We met by accident at the premiere last week and snapped a photo together as I’m sure you’ve all seen. Fast forward to only a few days ago, when I helped take her to the hospital.”

He paused. Comments were getting more frequent as the live stream continued, more people joining by the second.

Your breath was caught in your throat and chest was heavy and tight.

Am I having a panic attack? you thought before Tom continued.

“I took y/n to the hospital because she injured her head and I happened to be at the right place at the right time. That’s all that happened. We have only met those two times and I am happy that I was there when she needed help.”

You help back sobs at this point, not wanting to alarm your parents but unable to suppress the emotions you felt about his lying.

“Every other theory or suspicion is false. Those photos were of me driving her to the doctor. Y/n and I have had no contact since the incident, so please don’t bother her any further. I just wanted to come on and say y/n, I hope you’re feeling better and doing well, and to let all of you fans know the truth.”

He looked away from the camera when he said “truth,” and you were angered more.

This wasn’t the truth. This wasn’t okay. This wasn’t the Tom you’d come to know and even consider a friend.

“Finally, thank you all for the support on the movie and I love seeing your reactions. I will resume doing press this weekend when I head to South Korea and then China next week. I’m glad I could share this film with you and once again, I hope you’re feeling better y/n and that we could possibly meet again when you are okay. Thank you all.”

He gave a final wave and slight grin before ending the stream, struggling to tap the button multiple times and swearing a bit as he finally did it.

You wanted to throw your phone across the room and smash it to pieces and simultaneously lock yourself in the closet and never leave. Another part of you yearned to scream the truth over the rooftops and tell the world how horrible Tom was for this.

Now I know why I never liked him you imagined again.

You finally worked up the courage to send one message to b/f/n.

I’m sorry.

You hit send and seconds later another text came through from someone else.

I’m so sorry. It’s done.

Who from?

Clara twinkletoes, of course.

You tossed your phone away from you on the carpet and snuggled further into the bean bag, trying to muffle the sounds of sobs with your blanket.

__________________________________

Your parents called you down for dinner, but food wasn’t on your mind in the slightest.

You probably looked like you’d been hit by a truck as you made your way down the stairs, and your mom and dad noticed immediately.

“Oh my gosh, baby. What happened?” your mother fawned, rushing to you and placing her hands softly on your cheeks.

“Tom Holland,” you mumbled, defeated.

“Is that some boy I need to put in his place?” your dad asked sincerely, brows furrowed.

You shook your head slightly and pulled away from your mother.

“I thought that was the actor boy b/f/n likes but you don’t. Didn’t she go meet him last week?” she inquired.

“Look up his name online, I’m sure you’ll find the fabricated story somewhere.”

You apathetically began building your plate, scooping some lasagna out and grabbing a small bit of salad as your parents scanned the TMZ article that had been published with the help of an “anonymous source.”

“The source says y/l/n has shown previous disdain for the ‘Spider-Man’ star, but is grateful for the help he extended in her dire situation. Her social media is booming as both fans and haters flock to ask about her encounter, but no word has been published by her yet. It’s only a matter of time before the California native makes a statement. Most are calling her lucky, and we don’t blame her,” your mom read aloud.

You thought you had no tears left to cry before, but more slipped down your cheek as you slid into a chair at the dining table.

“What is this?” your mom asked as she and your dad looked up from the article to you.

You started explaining everything over your dinner halfheartedly, trying not to let your emotions continue to get the best of you.

They reacted with both concern and surprise as you told the story from beginning to present, choosing not to leave out the part where Tom had secretly been in the house a few nights previous.

The lie was over, and the only way to move forward was with the truth, no matter how your parents would react.

Upon finishing the tale, you looked up from your barely eaten meal to find both parents eyeing you sympathetically.

“That’s it. That’s everything. Punish me how you see fit. Nothing could be worse than what I’ve already been through today.”

“Honey, we aren’t going to punish you. You’re an adult and you made some decisions that you can’t un-make. The consequences have already presented themselves. What matters now is how you move on from this,” your mom began.

“And we’ll be behind you every step of the way,” your dad finished.

You couldn’t help but smile and stood to hug them, welcoming their warm embraces. While cherishing the moment, you still couldn’t help but fear for b/f/n’s reaction.

“We may have to talk about you being able to sneak a boy into the house under our noses, though,” your father joked as you leaned into their arms.

__________________________________

You readied for bed after spending a few hours curled into the couch watching evening programming.

You hadn’t looked at your phone once since receiving that text from Tom and dreaded looking at it, but decided to do so anyways.

You saw that there was a message from b/f/n but decided to ignore it for now.

Snapchat was filled with snaps from friends and acquaintances who had learned of the incident already.

Leaving them on read was the only feasible option right now.

A quick scan of Instagram and Twitter shot your anxiety through the roof and you refused to make any posts just yet.

The world would just have to wait for your mental health to improve.

Eventually you worked up the nerve to open the text from b/f/n, ignoring all others from family and other close friends.

This isn’t you, it began.

You have a lot of explaining to do if you expect me to understand or forgive you, but I’m not writing you off just yet

Let me know when you’re ready to talk.

You honestly couldn’t believe it.

Sure, you two had been friends for years and been through thick and thin, but you also knew how she could react in anger and be unforgiving for a long time.

It took about 20 minutes of you staring at her texts and pacing the room to think up a reply, and your words still would never make up for all of it.

I really don’t know if I am ready to share, but I swear on my life that you’ll be the first to hear from me when I am. I’ll be in touch soon. Thank you, I love you.

With that, you placed the phone on the charger on do not disturb and you crawled onto the bed.

A certain scent hit you like a truck upon laying down.

You inhaled sharply and tensed.

That damned cologne was still there.

Sleeping like this was not an option, so immediately you got back up, headed out the door, and made your way to the guest room.

That would have to work tonight, and tomorrow you would have to decide between washing or burning your bedsheets.

Those thoughts didn’t make it too far, though, because almost immediately after your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light.

__________________________________

You couldn’t do anything.

All day you had stayed in, afraid to be seen in public and even worse, be confronted about this. You couldn’t even make yourself go to dance in avoidance of your classmates.

Instead, you spent the day managing your anger and sadness through working out for almost two hours and eventually breaking down on the floor of your makeshift home gym.

Your mom had taken off from work to keep watch of you and came in upon hearing you. She sat down on the floor and embraced you, ignoring the sweat covering your body and clothes.

After finally managing to get up, you headed back upstairs and hopped into a long hot bath. Maybe that would cleanse you of all of this.

It didn’t.

Later, you stripped your bed of the sheets and tossed them in the wash, dumping a scoop and a half of laundry detergent in for good measure. You also misted the bare mattress and pillows with linen spray just in case.

You wouldn’t let anything remind you of him.

The day went by too slowly as isolation set in. You couldn’t check social media because your feed was overloaded with inquiries, and you couldn’t talk to your friends because they were just as bad as the fans and haters.

You were now sitting watching youtube videos while your mom watched tv. You weren’t paying attention until you heard the volume go up.

Upon looking up at the screen, you saw that she was watching Entertainment Tonight and they were running a story on you.

It felt like your stomach had dropped to the floor when your name was said by one of the journalists. Even though you knew that what they’d say was false, you couldn’t look away.

They basically recapped everything Tom and the TMZ article had said, but also mentioned that you had been talked about on other talk shows and gossip sites all night and day.

Your mom gave you a sympathetic look, but you chose to ignore it all, rolling your eyes and continuing to try to figure out how to move on.

Eventually you would have to leave the house and talk about it all, but today was necessary for self care and reflection.

__________________________________

That’s it for this one! It’s realllllll dramatic but oh well haha. Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to put out!

If you wanna be added to the tag list, please send an ask or message bc I can’t reply to comments on posts since this is a side blog :(

Tag List: @marvel-lously, @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @worn-off

#starstruck #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland dancing #tom holland headcanon #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #marvel #spider-man #spiderman #spider man #Spider Man: Homecoming #tom holland spider man #SPIDER MAN FAR FROM HOME #sm:ffh

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floosies · 4 years

Text

bury a friend: The Story of Noctua

pairing: steve rogers x possessed!oc x mcu!au

summary: there have been sightings of a dark creature who vanishes with night and in the mornings only remains of once living people are found scattered in open fields or forests nearby.

warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of attempted suicide, violence, gore, cursing, mentions/scenes of sexual nature.

Please read with discretion. 18+ content.

A/N: This is my first attempt at something more dark. It’s been in my brain since hearing some of biilie’s works and quiet frankly I want to venture into new territory. However, I understand the severity of some topics that I will write about. If you or someone you know is in need please look at these resources

Tags: @indecisivedolly

Series Masterlist

Part 5: Cold, Cold Heart

It took some time before they let the man get out of the room. His mind was steady fast on her. Was she dead? Why did he care? She was no better than him, and murdered people for sport. Still he raced to the med bay, with hopes she was doing well. When neared the entrance he found Steve waiting there, his face full of concentration. “What’d they say?” The look he gave his friend made Bucky’s heart drop.

Ruth was a little girl that greeted all the creatures of the woods. The kindest soul anyone could ever meet. It was what Tenebrae admired about her. What her parents saw from the great beyond. A kindred spirit with good intentions. Yet, here she laid feeble and fighting to wake up. She wouldn’t give up, especially since she only just discovered her freedom to be herself.

“Cho, you’re joking right?” It made sense, but a part of Bucky seemed to be in disbelief. The doctor shook her head though, “this girl seriously malnourished, under weight, and has serious bone damage. I’m surprised she’s alive.” It was reaching nightfall, Steve was still hoping she’d wake up. Outside the door of her room was the elderly man from the previous night, “Tenebrae right?” He smiled at the boy, “Bucky. How is she?” The being could read the anger well on the boy. “How could you let that happen to her?” With a look of shock he mockingly answered the boy, “I thought she was a monster? Is that not how you viewed her?” Of course this took him aback.

Steve heard the voice of someone else, he left the room to see the two men standing in silence. “Sir? Can I help you?” The elderly man looked at Steve, but Bucky answered, “it’s the Tenebrae thing.” “I am not a thing, I am an entity.” Being ever polite Steve asked why he had returned, “she is like my daughter. I must check on her well being.” A scoff arose from the one armed soldier at the very comment, “she’s malnourished, and has multiple bone fractures. How caring.” Because of its human form, it could finally express emotion, “those bone fractures came from a terrible early childhood. Or had she not mentioned what drove her to nearly kill herself?’

The silence was not one of awkwardness nor anger, but of guilt. The entity explained her misfortunes. How she would still smile and try to make those wretched people love her. How they did everything to try and break her. Explaining why all the rotten souls were killed, and how she cried after kill out of guilt. Steve wanted to cry, ever the sentimentalist. “So when you go and call her a monster remember that she is very aware of her impending flaws soldat.” The elderly man whispered something and then disappeared.

She woke up in the middle of the night, she knew where she was even if she had never been through the whole of the compound. There were so many floors to go through, this time she’d found a room filled with records and a great gramophone. She found an old french record that made her smile. It didn’t take long after to sense she was going to have company. She had already guessed who.

He walked in with an urgency, “Doctor Cho said you’re malnourished and fractured everywhere.” He then proceeded to take seat, “well I’m still alive though.” The record play in the background, “did you know those people weren’t your real parents.” Her puzzled look was a quick indicator that this was new to her, “the spirit thing told us about your upbringing.” There was no time to react, her palm left a burning sensation his cheek. Her eyes began to brim with tears, “you are an empty shell of man. Your soul is rotten, if you still have one. You vicious, cold blooded, cumberground.” “Cumberground?” She went to strike him again, but his metal arm gripped her wrist. “You serve no purpose, you merely exist to take up space. That is what you are.” She spat at the soldier.

“You’re no one to talk to me like that-” “someone should! I have done nothing to you. Yet you belittle me and glare when my presence is near.” His heart was racing, “why do you let me? Why don’t you kill me?” She pushed herself away from, “kill you? Kill you?! Do you hear yourself?! Are you mad? You must be absolutely insane! Why would I ever wish death upon anyone?” Was she serious? “Your history says otherwise-” “those heathens hurt children, women, other men. They suffered their endings because they were awful people. I’ve witnessed them in the midst of their horrid acts. I’ve seen the lives that were destroyed because of the scum I kill. You think I kill for sport? I live with each and every memory, the agonizing screams as they try to ask for forgiveness. It aches my heart sometimes, but they were merely trying not to pay for the injustices they made on the feeble.”

There was only the sound of her sobs for a moment. He quietly asked, “so why do it? If it pains you?” She looked at him, the blue in his eyes was like the ocean in late summer, their gaze was content on her. “I do it because I know the pain of being taken advantage of. I nearly lost my virtue out of forceful brute from someone who was supposed to care for me. The reassurance that someone else doesn’t have to feel the pain I did is why I continue.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “if I had died like I’d planned I would have never been able to save any of them. I cherish the fact that have been given a second chance. You may not, but I do. A fear lives in me, one that makes me believe this may all be taken away from me and I’ll have to live in the horrors of my past. So I carry on as best as I can. I am a kind soul at my core, but I will not live to please anymore.”

His mind was rushing with many thoughts, she could not read all of them. Perhaps she should have stayed in that bed, “when we were in the alternate past and I saw that Kennedy was alive. I realized that it meant I was dead, there was a comfort in that.” Here was the glimpse into the fragments of darkness that haunted him, “to find comfort in one’s own demise is a feeling I longed for. Your past does not define you. It should not guide who you are now, you do not have to be cold, the best thing would be to look forward.”

The record was ending, “when the old man explained your past. I thought of my own pain. I’ve been seeing you like they saw me. It’s easier to see everyone as your enemy when you’ve been made to believe that for so long.” She listened, not sure what would come from it the next day. He was really just a scared boy, filled with paranoia and insecurity. When he began to sob, she made him sleep, presenting him a sweet dream. Something comforting from his past.

Her room was in the same state she left in. Despite the softness of the linens and the cushion of the pillows, an unsettling feeling sat in the depths of her heart. How would the days work now? Would his glares and harshness continue? She decided on not erasing his memory of their conversation. Fatigue soon answered for her, and soon she was in her dream land as well.

Steve went to look for her in the morning, she wasn’t in her room or in the med bay. She was gone. He called Tony, “what do you mean she just disappeared?” The billionaire’s voice came from the cellphone, “I don’t know. I’m searching everywhere-” FRIDAY’s voice interrupted the conversation, “she’s in the basement kitchen.” A sigh of relief erupted from Steve as he went to the elevator down to the basement.

As the elevator opened, he looked over at the kitchen area of the basement. She was sat next to Bucky, they appeared to be in a deep discussion. “Sorry to interrupt, I couldn’t find you in the med bay.” She smiled at the golden haired man, “I apologize for not advising you about my whereabouts. Could some breakfast make up for it?” He smiled at her, “sure.” Bucky just sat there for a while. He listened to his friend make the young witch laugh, somewhere in his heart he was a bit upset that she was happy in Steve’s presence.

So much so that he didn’t hear her talking to him, “you alright Bucky?” Her voice was so soft, “yeah? Yes. Sorry what was the question?” She giggled, “Steve and I were wondering if you wanted to come grocery shopping with us?” There was this gleam of hope in her eyes. Her doe like eyes, the ones he’d seen before he fell asleep and dreamed about the first time his ma took him to Coney Island. He agreed to go with them though, he had to ask her more questions about how she did it. If she could bring back more of his memories, if she would help him find himself.

#sorceress #witch #oc!female #steve rogers #Bucky Barnes #Captain America The First Avenger #mcu #mcuedit #Avengers #chris evans #Sebastian Stan

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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 5 years

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Yandere stray kids the wedding series: The wedding (3/4)

Genre: Fluff/ Angst

Pairing: Reader X Stray kids Members Requested: Yes, by @petalskook : “Can I ask for a reaction to skz!yandere, How would your wedding be?” A/n: I thought it would be fun to make this a series so I did. Word count: 10k (I warned you guys) Author’s note: I added some more things to your request, because I felt like it fit the story well. I hope you like it. (This is a long post so get a snack I’d say. I’m not even sorry.) THIS TOOK ME A WHOLE WEEK.

Warning: Yandere themes, swearing, mentions of death, toxic relationships, mention of suicide do not read if uncomfortable (Also cute moodboards because I love weddings <3)

Important message at the end of the post, please read!

Chan:

The wedding had to be perfect. Absolutely perfect. When they were sending out their invites, Chan had made sure to know every little detail about every person. People who knew about Chan’s true face, they weren’t invited. Of course they weren’t. He wasn’t going to risk the chance of his wedding getting ruined. The final chance of making Y/n his for the rest of their lives and whatever comes after it. The people who weren’t invited knew that Chan had killed multiple people before. They were intimidated by him and didn’t even dare to tell others about his secret life.

The wedding took place outside, the aisle would be lined up to a big tree where Chan would be waiting for Y/n. He’d greet people brightly, thanking them for coming. The people that were invited to the wedding were the most oblivious people Chan could find. They all saw Chan as a young handsome man, who obviously was in love with Y/n. She on the other hand didn’t think much of it, since Chan made it seem like her parents and best friends didn’t wanted to come. Like they didn’t support their relationship. Y/n would devastated by the fact that they didn’t love her enough to come to their special day and Chan couldn’t be happier.

She had been crying in his arms that day, looking comfort in by her fiancé as she was heartbroken. He’d try to contain his happiness from her. She now believed that she was all alone, but he made sure that she knew, he was everything she needed and now the day finally had arrived that they would become husband and wife. He almost had her all to himself, not that he didn’t already, but it would be official.

Chan had hired guards, so nobody could disturb the wedding. Not wanting to risk one of Y/n’s family members to show up and stop everything. Just the thought of it made him go crazy, but he kept himself calm by the thought of Y/n becoming his wife within just a few hours. He had thought of so many scenarios of how things could go wrong, but then he thought of her and he knew everything would be just fine.

He was nervously waiting as the last minutes ticked by. He hadn’t seen her in hours, but he just couldn’t wait. His heart skipped a beat, when the wedding planner announced that the bride had arrived. Chan would quickly check his looks, before he stared in awe at his beautiful bride. She looked absolutely stunning and he couldn’t help but cry. His wishes finally became reality. She is becoming his forever.

When she stood in front of him, she smiled brightly. Letting out a soft ‘hi’ as they held hands. Chan would wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek and kiss her forehead, before they started the ceremony.

“The groom and the bride, now have the chance to exchange their self-written vows.” The marriage officiant says. “Y/n, will you start?”

“I enter into this life with you without reservation, without fear or confusion, but with a clear and trusting heart. Everything will work out love, because we will be together. I promise to honour you, to love you with all I have. I promise to always be by your side, no matter what. I love you.”

“Chan, your vows?” The officiant says.

“Every promise I make to you is one I feel is not a burden, but rather a gift- I don't have to honour and cherish you, I get to, I get to have you be the person I spend the rest of my life with, I GET to be there for you and support you. It is my fantastic pleasure to be in the position to be there for you my love. I want to give you my unconditional love, tenderness, and undying devotion, I will not ask you to be more than you are, and to love you for being you. You’re my everything. You’re my life. You’re my future. I love you my queen.” Chan was holding her hands in his as he looked deeply into her eyes. Tears were blurring both of their visions, but they didn’t care.

“You made my vows sound lame.” Y/n pouts as Chan wiped her tears away once again. The whole room would be in a fit of laughter at her comment, before the officiant calmed the room down for the last part of the ceremony.

The rings were exchanged and the couple looked at each other with excitement.

“…and with by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. " Within a millisecond, his lips would crashed on hers, sharing their first kiss as a married couple.

The reception would be also be outside under a big tent. Y/n was in awe at everything Chan and the wedding planner had arranged and she couldn’t be happier with the outcome. She would be tearing up once again as she couldn’t contain her happiness.

“You’re a little cry baby today, aren’t you babygirl?” Chan whispers as she hugged him tightly, emotional as they danced their first dance.

Everything went as planned, that’s what Y/n thought at least. Chan heard from one of the guards that Y/n’s (ex-) best friend tried to get in. She was there to ruin the wedding. And Chan wasn’t having it. He excused himself from Y/n, kissing her temple, before he went to confront the girl.

“You can’t do this Chan, you’re out of your mind! You’re a sick, possessive bastard who should end up in a psycho house!” She’d yell as soon as she saw Chan walking up to her. “Listen to me you little vermin, you can’t stop this. She hates you. She loves me. She’s mine. There’s nothing you can do against it. You’re nothing to her, she doesn’t need you. She never did. She has me now.” Chan growled lowly.

“You’re sick! She’s too good for you! You should just-“

“I should nothing. Well, maybe I do should do something about you.” Chan states with a smirk on his face. The girl’s face fell when the two guards took her away from the event, she knew what was coming next. And Chan’s smiling face would be the last thing she would see in her life.

Woojin:

Unlike Chan, Woojin wouldn’t care who came. He had everybody wrapped around his finger. Nobody thought anything bad about Y/n’s sweet Woojin. ‘Woojin could do nobody wrong. He couldn’t even hurt a fly. I mean look at him, he’s so cute and lovable. He can’t be a bad guy. He’s so good to Y/n. Why are you so against them?’ Somebody would say to Y/n’s best guy friend.

“You’re not jealous of them, are you?” The person would ask.

“N-no, I just don’t trust him. There’s something about him, I just don’t know what it is yet.” He’d say, not noticing Woojin who was eavesdropping. Woojin would clench his fist. He wasn’t looking for any distractions or obstacles on his wedding day.

No, his future wife deserved all the attention.

It would all be about her.

She had to be in the spotlight that day and nothing could ruin that.

Woojin’s best man ran to Woojin, informing him that Y/n’s best guy friend was on his way to Y/n and Woojin wasn’t going to let that happen. So, he ran after him. “Hey, Y/f/n. Can I talk to you?” He’d ask the boy, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “I really need to talk to Y/n.” He said, trying to get away from Woojin. “Can’t that wait? I really need to show you something? See it as a wedding present for us?” The poor boy couldn’t say no to that, also because Woojin had already taking him away.

Woojin would take the boy outside of the event, into the woods near the edge of the cliff. He’d start to choke the boy as soon as they got there.

“You think I didn’t know what you were up to? Huh? It’s a shame that you had to do this, I didn’t wanted to get my hands or my wedding tuxedo dirty, but I guess you’ll be an exception. I will have to do this fast, because my wife needs my attention. I don’t want any unwanted guest at Y/n’s and my wedding. You should’ve thought about this if you knew who I really was. Any last words, you little fuck?” Woojin whispered as he looked in satisfaction how the colour of the boy’s face, whose he held in his tight grip, disappeared slowly.

“Fuck you.” Was the only thing he could manage to say, his grip on Woojin’s hands getting weaker by the second.

Woojin sighed and turned the boy’s head without any mercy. He hid the body, so he could get rid of it later, Erasing his traces.

Minutes later he’d be back at the event, walking down the aisle as it was time for the ceremony. Woojin’s best man gave him a look that only Woojin would understand. He’d return a smile, telling him in silence that the job was done. Woojin’s attention switched to the aisle when music started to play and he’d smile brightly as soon as he saw his beautiful bride. The love of his life that would be his wife in just a few minutes.

More minutes had passed and it was now time for Woojin’s vows:

“…I promise to find a way to show you how much I love you every single day of our lives. You fill my life with meaning. Thank you for taking me as I am, loving me, and welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you, and to be faithful to you forever.”

“The rings please.” The officiant would say.

“I, Y/n, give you, Woojin this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you." She says as she slipped the ring on Woojin’s long finger. He’d smile at her and return the saying.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Woojin swept her off her feet and dipped her as he kissed her. She giggled in between the kisses whilst the crowd was cheering for them.

Later that day, when the two sat down at their table at the reception, which was in an old fabric that was renovated. So, that events like weddings could be celebrated there, otherwise it would disappear under a thick layer of dust.

“Have you seen y/friend’s/n? I didn’t see him at the ceremony?” His wife asked. “No, I’m sorry baby. I think he might bailed.” “Why would he do that? I thought he was happy for me- us.” She mutters sadly. “I don’t know baby, but don’t worry. You can forget about him, all you need is me, isn’t that right my queen?” “It is baby.” She whispered before kissing him.

She excused herself after a while, wanting to dance with her friends. Woojin would whine for a while, until he saw his best man. He let her go, telling her to not have too much fun without him, before he went off to his friend.

“Speak.” Woojin mutters harshly under his breath. “We cleared the body and the traces have been erased.” The other Yandere said. “Thank you, you’ve brought me a great wedding gifts.” Woojin would say happily as he hugs his friend. “Everything for you and your wife.” “She’s finally mine. There’s nothing now that could separate us, not even death!” Woojin exclaimed. “I know, it just seems amazing. I can’t wait to marry as well.” He said with a smile.

“Trust me, even though I’ve been only married for an hours or so. It’s amazing. Now, excuse me. I’m going to dance with my wife.” He yells over the music, running off to his wife who was dancing. He ripped her off of her friends and pulled her into his arms. She’d squeal happily when she was in her husband’s arms again. “You’re back!” “Let’s have a good time baby.” He whispers in her ear as they began to dance the night away.

Minho:

Like Woojin, Minho would want a smaller type of wedding. But almost nobody would know about it. The bachelor party, wasn’t really a bachelor party. Her friends thought it was just an average gathering for the girls. Y/n wasn’t allowed to speak about the wedding, but she wanted to tell her friends so badly. Yet, she secretly knew Minho was testing her and he was indeed.

He needed to know how good she’d be to him, how loyal and trusting she could be for him. And she succeeded. She didn’t tell a single soul, maybe a small animal she would find in her backyard, but that would be it.

Y/n had ask Minho something about sending the invites to the guests, only to receive a weird glance from her fiancé.

“What guests?” He’d say. The guests to our wedding- d-don’t you want guests?” He’d ignore her question and pull her on his lap, placing her head on his shoulder and holding her tight. “My love, don’t you think it would be better to have a wedding just for the two of us?” “You don’t want to invite anybody-“ “Just imagine it princess, you in an amazing dress. You would look even more perfect than you already do and me in a tuxedo. Isn’t a wedding just about the bride and the groom? That’s all we need, don’t we?” Minho said quickly with excitement. “I guess you’re right but-“ “No, buts. We are having a private wedding. I have everything planned out. And nobody would have to come, it would save us so much money, which we could eventually spend on our honeymoon. That I also already booked. Baby, it will be beautiful. No further distractions from other people. Just you and me. And the marriage officiant, because somebody has to marry us.” He laughs.

Y/n was sad about the thought of not being able to share her wedding day with more people that she loved, but when she looked at Minho, he gave her the puppy eyes. She would sigh and give into his suggestion to have a secret wedding.

And Minho couldn’t be happier. He had planned everything out. The wedding would take place in a open stop in the mountains. The aisle would be simple, but the few was majestic. The music would be playing softly as Y/n walked down the aisle. He chuckled when he heard her gasp in surprise, she had no idea what Minho had planned for their wedding.

When she stood in front of him she jumped up and down excitedly. “First I was driven here by a private chauffeur, blindfolded. And now this few! The decorations are absolutely stunning!” She exclaimed as she was in his arms. “I’m glad you like it baby. Shall we do this?”

The ceremony went on smoothly, no distractions. Just him and her. That’s all that mattered and that’s all that he wanted. She needed him, nothing but him. He could give her anything she wanted.

“… I devote myself to you, heart and soul. There is truly no me without you. Life has no meaning, truth doesn't exist without you. You are the feeling of life. You are the glory of creation. You are my love and my light. Be with me always and I will give you everything that I have.” He whispered to her as he said his vows.

Y/n cried at his sweet words, also still an emotional wreck as the exchanged rings and their last thoughts. And before the two knew it, they were declared husband and wife and Minho had crashed his lips on her. She was still crying tears of joy as he kissed her.

“Are you ready for our next surprise my wife?” Minho asks sweetly. She nodded in excitement. He took her by the hand and lead her to the reception that was inside. She gasped once again when she saw the venue. He had rented an entire restaurant, just for the two of them. The table would be set by large windows so they had the full scenery in front of them as they ate. Minho helped Y/n with her dress, before the chef came to congratulate them and bring them their cake.

“It’s like we’re on a date. You know just the two of us.” Y/n giggled. “A date where we get married?” Minho laughed, making her laugh as well. “I’m glad we did this, it’s so much more intense when it’s just the two of us.” Y/n admitted. Minho just smiled at her. Happy that he now knew he had her wrapped around his finger. He loved how naive she is, she didn’t even notice how much he hated her family. They knew too much and he couldn’t risk losing her because of some morons. ‘What do they know? They don’t know anything about our love. About my love for her. They can all fuck off. She’s mine now.’ Minho thought to himself as he enjoyed the view, that was his wife.

“I love you.” She whispered when she caught him staring. “I love you too, so much. My beautiful queen. My one and only.”

Changbin:

This perfectionist would want all the control when it comes to the wedding and she was fine with that. He’d ask her what she wanted and it would make it happen for her. He’d listen to every tiny detail she wanted for the wedding. It made him happy to see her happy. When it came to the guest he would have every say in it. “What about my aunt?” She’d asks. “Do you want somebody who keeps asking us about when we are having children on our wedding day?” Changbin would reply. “Never mind then. What about my friend s-“ “No, she keeps nagging and I don’t think we’re waiting for any conflicts to be made at the wedding.” “You’re right. You know what. You know what you’re doing. I trust you. As long as my parents and my friends are there, I’ll be fine.” She’d say, before kissing him and leaving his office to go to the other room.

Changbin would only invite the necessary people, like her parents, her best friends and her closest family members. People like her grandparents if she wanted to. “Baby what flowers would you like?” “Y/favourite/flowers!” She’d yell from their shared bedroom. “Alright princess!”

Changbin would be the sweetest when it came to your wedding, but she had to be good to him. He wouldn’t be testing her the way Minho would, but he definitely would be keeping his eyes on her all the time. When she had free time given by him to shop for a wedding dress, he had a spy who would update Changbin about Y/n.

When Y/n had returned home. She gave Changbin a kiss before she ran upstairs with the dress that she had successfully bought. He’s chuckle at how adorable she was, before he turned his attention to the spy that was waiting outside for Changbin. “I saw that the dress shopping was a success.” Changbin said in a serious, but happy tone. “It was sir, she was very happy. And there were no guys near her. Those who almost were, I eliminated them.” “Well job.” “Now about my payment-“ The man in front of Changbin got cut off by the bullet that was shot through his skull. “Don’t think you’re an exception. Nobody but me gets to be around my Y/n, not even if I paid you.” Changbin muttered, before he disposed the body.

It was finally the day of the wedding and Changbin would be running around like he was the actual wedding planner. “Are the flowers here- no that needs to be there. What on earth are you doing? Do you think this is a joke? Get your ass out there and do your fucking job!” He’d yell at an innocent boy who didn’t even work there. Changbin was just worried, he needed everything to be perfect for her. He wanted everything to be exactly like what she had imagined, he wanted to be her dream. He wanted to be part of her dream that came true. ‘Of course this would be a dream for her, she’s marrying me. What else would she need- would she like the flowers? Are they the right colour? Oh my…’ He thought to himself. And when Changbin thought everything was going right, the maid of honour came to him telling his fiancée needed to speak to him, urgently.

His anxiety got the best of him and he started to think of scenarios that could happen or things she could possibly say to him. ‘Changbin I don’t think we can go through with this, I don’t want to marry you’ ‘I never loved you I just wanted this to be set up so I could marry y/f/n.’ ‘I just saw a picture of the venue and I hate it, this whole wedding is ruined. If this is what you give me how could I marry you-‘

“Changbin is that you?” He heard his love stutter after he had knocked on her door. “Y-yes princess it’s me. What’s wrong? I heard from y/f/n that you needed to talk to me?” He whispered from the other side of the door that separated them. “I-I’m scared.” She muttered softly. “Of course it’s scary my love, but think about it this way. We’re going to be together for the rest of our-” “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just…” She trailed off causing Changbin to be confused by her inaudible mumbling. “What was that darling, please speak clearly you’re kind of freaking me out-“ “I’m scared you won’t like the dress.” She blurted out.

Changbin sighed in relief and a sound of laughter followed soon, causing Y/n to let out a sound of confusion. “Baby, I’m sure I will love your dress. Even if you showed up in a trash bag I would still marry you. I don’t care what you wear, all I want is to marry the love of my life and make you mine forever.” He whispered truthfully. He heard her sigh in relieve as well and he saw a small hand sticking out of the door frame. “Thank you honey, I needed that.” She whispered from the other side of door whilst squeezing his hand. He kissed her hand before he said his goodbye.

The anxiety faded as soon as Y/n walked down the aisle. They were both ready to marry each other. He was ready to continue to dedicate his life to her, to worship her like a goddess. He loves her so much he was jumping up and down in excitement, making the room laugh slightly.

The ceremony was over before they knew it. The three was lighted up as they shared their first kiss as a married couple. Y/n still was repeating Changbin’s vows in her head:

‘Sometimes I listen to you breathing and think that this wonderful person - the flesh and blood sitting next to me - is the most beautiful collection of star stuff that could ever be. I only want to sit and listen to you and feel your heartbeat, knowing that you will always be there with me. I promise to wake you in the mornings and to help you rest at night. I promise to make everything easier. I promise to respect and love you for who you are and to love the person you will be for all the years to come.’

For the reception, Changbin didn’t bother hiring security. It would only cost him money, lives and time. He’d have to clean them up after the wedding and he wasn’t in the mood. Instead he kept her by his side like any newlyweds would do. This way, he could keep his eyes on her as she stuck onto him like glue held them together.

He’d try to hold back by every male guest who touched his wife as they congratulated them, but he knew they would never ever have a chance with her. When that was done, he dragged his wife to the dancefloor and started to dance with her like nobody was watching. He didn’t care and neither did she. He spun her around as he picked her up, her dress following her behind. He looked at her lovingly as she giggled in his arms, also not being able to keep his hands off her.

“I love you my love.” “I love you too.” She whispered. He pulled her closer and kissed her softly.

His one and only.

His love and the light of his life.

His wife. Only his.

Hyunjin:

Hyunjin is an emotional Yandere. He’d manipulate her when it came to her or his feelings. When Hyunjin didn’t get what he wanted he’d whine and cry like a little child to get what he wanted and of course she couldn’t help but give him what he wanted, his tears were her weakness and since Hyunjin was an emotional person, he would be a crying mess on his wedding day.

His best man, Jeongin, would be helping him with his tuxedo. “Jeongin, I’m getting married today!” He’d cry out with a gasp as he realised what was happening. “Yes, Hyunjin you’ve been crying that out for the past few hours now.” The younger boy would laugh as he fixed Hyunjin’s tie. “Now, dry your face and get a hold of yourself. You’re going to marry her today. You’re love of your life.” Jeongin whispered, making the boy burst into tears once again. “I’m just so happy! She’s going to be my wife forever! I’ve been waiting for this moment, ever since I saw her.” “I remember the day when you spotted her. I told you you’d get obsessed with her and here we are.” Jeongin, who was also a yandere, said. His fiancée would be one of Y/n’s bridesmaids and Hyunjin couldn’t be happier, well at least he thought. Hyunjin was happy to be able to share his thought with a fellow yandere.

Hyunjin was also whipped for his fiancée. “Hyunjin we can’t see each other before the wedding.” She’d giggle as Hyunjin squeezed a hand through the door frame. “I just needed to hear you. I couldn’t bare being away from you any longer.” He whined, wiggling his hands to sign that he wanted to hold hers. “I can’t wait to marry you.” She whispered back, shaking his hand a little in excitement. He giggled at her action and leaned down to kiss it. “Hyunjin we need to get ready.” Jeongin panted as he came in running. “Jeongin is that you?” She’d chuckles. “I swear, I lose this guy out of my sight for one second and he comes running to you.” Jeongin laughs. “Baby, go with Jeongin. I’ll see you soon.” Y/n would say to her groom. “But baby, I still have-“ Hyunjin would try. “The marriage officiant is waiting, Hyunjin.” “Baby go.” Hyunjin heard her say. He kissed her hand once again before he ran off with Jeongin.

Hyunjin had to ran for 5 minutes to get outside, because that boy was so whipped for his queen that he had rented a whole castle to have their wedding. The place didn’t needed much decoration, since it was a castle and very spectacular itself. Hyunjin looked around as he greeted some of the guests, he made sure everything was perfect. He also had taken a peek at the reception, taking a glance of the cake. He sighed happily as everything went as planned, until Y/n was standing in front of him. After she had walked down the aisle with her dad on her side, Hyunjin had cried his eyes out in happiness. He was focusing all his attention on his bride, but a guy behind him suddenly caught his eye.

It was Y/n’s guy friend. He was eyeing her up and down and Hyunjin felt his blood boiling. ‘How dares he to check out my bride like that on our wedding day.’ He thought. Jeongin notices Hyunjin glaring at the guy and poked his back shortly to get him back on focus. They shared a look and Jeongin knew what to do after the wedding. In the meantime as Jeongin was making a plan for Y/n’s friend, Hyunjin was saying his vows.

"’I do’ really means, ‘I will’. I will dedicate myself to you. I will take your hand in a spirit of adventure. I will respect your decisions even when I might not agree with them. I will stand by you. I will love you and love growing old with you. If I have done anything right in my life, it will be giving my heart to you - my one true love.”

Minutes later he’d kiss his wife passionately, trying to make it clear to her guy friend that he had no chance with her. He’d pick her up bridal style and run down the aisle with her in his arms whilst the people were cheering happily for them.

After their first dance, Hyunjin handed his beautiful wife over to her parent. Kissing her cheek, before he walked off to Jeongin who smirked. “Where is he?” Hyunjin asked his friend coldly. “I locked him in one of the bathrooms on the other side of the castle.” “Good job.” Hyunjin said whilst smirking along.

Soon they had arrived at the bathroom, Hyunjin started laughing. The boy looked pathetic as he was tied up and laid on the ground. Hyunjin knelt down to his level and ripped the tape from his face, making the boy groan in pain. “Why are you doing this? I knew something was up with you. I never thought you were a psychopath.” He’d yell. “Yell all that you want. They won’t be able to hear you. Nobody will. Nobody will ever find you or care enough to look for you. We should do you a favour and make you disappear, don’t we Jeongin?” “I agree.” Jeongin said, taking out a knife out of his back pocket.

“Who do you think you are! Checking my wife out! How dare you! She’s mine! Only mine! You need to pay for what you did you fucking twat.” Hyunjin yells as he grabbed the boy by his hair. Not wanting to bruise the boy’s skin as they wanted to make their murder look like an act of suicide.

“Wait! No- Please!” Jeongin’s laughter had an evil tint to it as he cut the robes of the boy. In the meantime was Hyunjin running the bath, before they grabbed the boy and threw him in. They held his head under the tab, grabbing him by the shoulder so he couldn’t get out of their grip. When he stopped squirming and his colour of his skin started to pale, they let go of him. They checked his pulse, to make sure they had gotten rid of him.

“Should we clean this up?” Jeongin would ask. “No, leave him here. Make it seem natural. Let’s go outside. It will seem like we took a walk.” Hyunjin said. “You’re so smart.” “You’ve a lot to learn, but you’ll get there.” Hyunjin laughs as they walked out the door.

When they had sneaked outside successfully after their task, Hyunjin saw his wife in her stunning white dress, running up to them. “What’s wrong baby?” He asks her as she looked upset. “Have you seen Y/f/n? I haven’t seen him since the ceremony.” She states confused. “No I’m sorry baby, Jeongin and I were just taking a walk whilst chatting. Maybe he left already?” Hyunjin said as he held her in his arms. “Why would he leave? I thought he was my friend?” She pouts.

“Don’t be sad my love, you have me. I’ll be all you need.” Hyunjin smiled as he pecked her lips. “I know, now let’s go back inside. I want to dance with you.” She says with a smirk. “Everything for you my love.”

Jisung:

Jisung is a scaredy and panicky-like person. When Jisung proposed he had a million things going through his mind. ‘She will say yes, right? Of course Jisung, why wouldn’t she say yes? She loves you- but what if she doesn’t? No- No don’t be crazy! She loves you. What if it was all an act-‘ His own thoughts were cut off when she appeared and he went for it and popped the question. Ever since he hasn’t been any less anxious. He was running back and forth, making calls at the same time as he planned his wedding with a wedding planner on his side. “What if the weather would be bad?” He’d ask in a panicked tone. “You two are planning to marry in the summer, it will be fine.” “But what if-“ “Jisung, it will be fine. Everything will work out. Trust me.” The wedding planner tried to assure him. “It better will.” Jisung growled at him. Before he went back to making calls.

Jisung and Y/n were now out on trying flavours for their cake, when Y/n asked him how the planning was going.

“W-why are you asking? Everything is going fine- just great! You shouldn’t worry- you’re asking a lot of questions-“ “Baby, calm down. Breath.” His fiancée say as she held his cheeks in her hands. “You’re all wrought-up. You know I’m right here when you need any help and so is our wedding planner. He will do an amazing job and so will you. I believe in you my love.” She assured him whilst she peppered his face with kisses. Jisung calmed down in her touch and kissed her hands in appreciation. “Thank you princess, but I feel like I should do this. You shouldn’t be worried about our wedding. The only think you need to do it be pretty and be there.” He jokes, with a tint of anxiety hidden in the back. “I’m for sure going to be there, but let me help. I don’t want to see you all worn out at our wedding day. This is also about you- it’s about us two, coming together and become one. We’re going to be married Sungie. Let me help you.” She whispers as she runs her fingers through his hair. “Alright, could you please help me with the flowers and the cake? That would be amazing.” “I will my love. Now, finish your cake. It’s a pity if they’d have to throw it away.” She smiles as she feeds him another piece. “I love you princess.”

Finally, the day of the wedding was there. And Jisung was as anxious as ever. He was shaking and Y/n had told him to take some medicine, since he got her worried. He did as he was told and he calmed down. He now was walking around the venue, with sort of glassy eyes. The medicines had hit him hard, but they’d wear off eventually. It was an hour before the wedding and Jisung felt happiness instead of his lingering anxiety. He was greeting guests cheerfully and thanking them for coming.

The only thing on Jisung’s mind right now was marrying the love of his life. He was getting so excited, until Y/n’s brother came up to him. (A/n: if you don’t have a brother in real life, for the sake of this imagine/ scenario, please pretend you do. It isn’t called ‘fiction’ for nothing.) Jisung hated Y/n’s brother. He always was stepping on Jisung’s toes. Always pointing out Jisung’s flaws, telling him he’d never be good enough for Y/n. Jisung wanted him gone at this point. “Hey, faggot. You look a little nervous now, don’t you?” He’d scoff. Jisung would roll his eyes, trying to walk away from him so he wouldn’t do anything he’d regret on his wedding day. “What is this?” Her brother would start as he looked into Jisung’s eyes. “The little fucker is even high on his own wedding day! How fucking predictable.” He’d snicker.

“I have told you multiple times that you should piss of maggot-“ “And I’ve told you multiple times, that I will marry that girl. No matter what. You aren’t an exception. Don’t think you’re special or anything.” Jisung snapped back. Her brother didn’t look too amused and rolled his eyes at Jisung. “I will stop this marriage with all my power, just remember that. She doesn’t need you. You don’t deserve her. I’m putting an end to this for once and for all even if I would have get rid of you personally.” He’d threaten before he stomped off.

Jisung was left speechless and he noticed that the medicine wasn’t working anymore. It felt like something snapped inside of Jisung’s brain, because he was losing his sanity. He wanted to kill him. He didn’t care that people would watch, but he knew it would be the end of him. Too many people would be eyewitnesses, especially since their wedding was on the roof of a building. She’d run away from him. He couldn’t risk that, so he called up a guy and did what he had to do.

Jisung in the meantime walked to the bar to get a drink, the only thing that could help him out for now. His best man came up to check on him and he assured him that he was alright.

Jisung was still restless as he was waiting for his fiancée to walk down the aisle, thinking something still could go wrong. He heard her brother’s words repeating itself through his head, but they all faded away when he saw her. She looked beautiful in her dress and he felt his body relax. Especially when he saw the shocked expression on her brother’s face before he ran out of the ceremony. People shot him confused glances, but didn’t think too much of it as they returned their attention to the couple.

The ceremony went spotless. Y/n even cried when she listened Jisung’s vows. “I promise to love you without condition, to honour you each and every day. To laugh with you when you’re happy, to guide you when you ask for direction. To challenge you to be a better person and allow you to do the same for me. I’ll promise to be your biggest fan and your ever present listening audience. I promise to love you for eternity and whatever comes after that. I promise to love you with whatever I have and with whatever I will receive. You’re the love of my life, the reason why I wake up every day. I love you so much.”

After the wedding, it seemed like people had forgotten already about Y/n’s brother, but Jisung hadn’t. He excused himself and made once again a call.

“Give me an update.” Jisung demanded through the phone. “He’s dead and we will have his body liquidated.” The man on the other side would state. “Thank you my old friend. I will send you your pay check after the wedding.” “Thank you, boss. Congratulations and enjoy your evening.” “Thank you, goodbye.” Jisung says before he hung up the phone.

“Who what that baby?” Y/n asks, the moonlight hitting her face when she came outside to look for her husband. “Nothing important baby, I just got an call from an old friend. He sadly couldn’t make it due work, but he did congratulate us.” Jisung whispered as he held her. “That’s so sweet. By the way, do you have any idea where y/b/n went? I haven’t seen him.” “Don’t worry about him, I think he had something important to do.” “I guess so. I mean, he looked pretty shocked. Anyway, are you coming back inside? Dinner is going to be served soon.” “I’ll be there in just a second baby.” He whispered against her lips, before she went back inside.

“I told you I was going to marry her. No matter what. You weren’t an exception as you saw.” Jisung muttered to the wind as he looked at the skyline. “One vermin less to worry about.” Jisung says before he went back inside. Because he won, he had the girl and he would always have her.

Felix:

This boy would arrange a big wedding. He would invite everybody he knew. The lobby guy? Sure why not, come to our wedding and see how I make this beauty mine. He’d spend all his money on the wedding, trying to make it a fairy tale-like. He’d also give her a lot of money to his fiancée so she could buy a dress. “No, I can’t take this-“ “Of course you can. You’re going to be my wife. Everything I have is yours.” He says with a flirty smirk resting on his lips. “No, Felix please. Keep it. I can’t take that from you. It’s too much.” She says as she held the stack of money Felix had placed in her hands. “It’s either, you take the money or I’ll come with you. And as much as I would love to tag along with you, it brings bad luck if the husband sees his wife in her dress, before the wedding. You wouldn’t want that, now do you my love?” She sighs as she shook her head no. He started to chuckle as he kissed her forehead and walked off.

Felix would often drop of the invites for their wedding, personally to the people. Seeing their faces lighten up would bring him joy, it was a way of showing dominance over his fiancée somehow to him. “Here’s an invite to our wedding.” The more he’d say it, the more joy it brought to him. He just couldn’t wait. He wanted to marry her straight away, but the chance of having an audience who is there to see it all gave Felix a rush of adrenaline.

He was a happy man, until he arrived at Y/n’s parents’ place. They hated Felix’s guts. They didn’t wanted to do anything with him, yet they let their daughter marry him. He’d smirk slyly by the thought of how he has Y/n wrapped around his finger.

“Mom, I’m going to marry him no matter what. You can’t do anything about it.” She had yelled, Felix standing behind her as he tried to hide the smirk on his face. “He’s not who you think he is-“ “And what do you know? You’ve hated him ever since I’ve introduced him to you!” “You can’t marry him Y/n-“ “Yes, I can! I don’t need adult consent to get married. I’m an adult! Now just leave, you’re wasting our time. We’ve got a wedding to plan.” She had said, ending the scene by dragging him along with her.

Felix smiled back at the memory as he stood in front of her parents’ place. “Hello, Felix.” Her dad muttered as soon as he saw the younger man. “Hello, sir. Here’s the invite to your daughter’s and I’s wedding-“ “Listen to me you piece of shit. My daughter is way too good for you. I will tear you apart, if I find out you treat her wrong. I will make sure she will see you like we do. You’re nothing but a failure, a little sociopath who needs to be locked up. Don’t think I don’t know who you are. We’ve seen your secret records and folders- you know what. I’m going to call the police. I should’ve done that a long time ago-“ Before her dad knew it, Felix had his hand wrapped around the man’s neck as he shoved him back inside.

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t let you do that. Can’t risk the chance of Y/n even thinking about leaving me, which she won’t, but just to make sure. Why don’t we get rid of you, do we?” Felix’s face would be the last thing the man remembered and the screaming of his wife in the background, before everything turned pitch black. Felix would call a guy to clean up the mess, before he went back to his fiancée at home.

“Baby, can you come here?” Felix would say as he patted his lap, signing to her to sit on it. “What’s wrong baby?” She asked him softly. “I-I just went to your parents’ place to hand them their invite to our wedding, but they started screaming at me how I didn’t deserve you and that they didn’t wanted to come to our wedding if you married me.” Felix cried. Y/n froze in shock, believing every word Felix told her. “T-they denied our invite?” Felix nodded in respond as he hid his face in her shoulder.

“W-well, screw them! I don’t need them! All I need is you and only you.” Those were the words Felix had been longing to hear. He pulled back from her shoulder to kiss her lips softly. “I love you baby.” “I love you too.”

Felix had planned the wedding perfectly and you could see that. The decoration was handmade and it took the staff a week to decorate everything. There were flowers hanging next to the chandeliers from the ceiling and the guests were taking pictures everywhere. They all would praise Felix for his creativity and for making this wedding absolutely beautiful.

Felix would calmly walk around, knowing there couldn’t go anything wrong. He had checked every guest personally and they all thought of him as a sweet young (and rich) boy who was absolutely whipped for his bride. And he was indeed whipped for her.

Every ten minutes he would go to her dressing room, checking up on her and asking if she needed anything. “I can get you some cake if you want to, nobody would notice. That thing is huge!” He’d joke. “No, Felix honey I will be fine. Just go get ready yourself and I’ll see you in fifteen minutes.” “I love you so much.” “I love you too Lix.”

Everything went as planned. And his breath was knocked out of his lungs when he saw her walk down the extravagant aisle. The dress fitted her perfectly, hugging every little bit of her. He was star struck. It felt like seeing her for the first time, he just knew he had to have her and now the time was finally there.

He couldn’t stop looking and touching her, the marriage officiant even noticed. “We should get started, because I can see that the groom would love to move on to their wedding night.” He’d joke, making everybody laugh before they started.

When the vows were being exchanged he stared at her lovingly, taking every word to his heart. “…I take you to be my best friend, my faithful partner and my one true love. I promise to encourage you and to inspire you and to laugh at every lame joke you make. I promise to always join you when you start dancing and I will always be there for you in times of good and bad. I will forever love unconditionally through the times of our adventures in life together. I love you Felix.”

He whipped the tears away that fell from her eyes and kissed her forehead, before he started his vows. “I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t have that much of a vow, but that’s okay. It is, because I promise to love and honour you with everything I have. Like I said before, everything I have is yours and I want to be all that you need. I promise to be your rock, your best friend and your faithful partner. I promise to love you to eternity and whatever comes after that. I will treat you as my queen and nothing less. I will give you everything you want and I’ll be everything you need. I love you princess.”

They were both shaking in excitement after they had exchanged their rings and as soon as the officiant declared them as husband and wife, Felix pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. He grabbed her hand when the music started playing as they walked happily down the aisle together.

“Are you ready Mrs Lee?” He asks when they stood in front of the doors of their reception. “I am Mr Lee.” She giggles as she kissed him. “Let’s do this then.” As soon as they opened the door a gasp had left Y/n’s mouth. The reception was even more fairy tale-like than their ceremony and Y/n didn’t know where to look. Everything was just so beautiful and she just couldn’t help, but cry. “Do you like it my love?” He asks excitedly. “I love it! It’s all so pretty! Did you do this? I- Felix!” She whined happily as she hid her face in his chest as she hugged him.

“Hey, you know what they say. Happy wife happy life.” Felix laughed, making her laugh as well. “Now, come with me please. I want to have my first dance with my wife.” He whispered as he dragged her to the middle of the dance floor. Both of them were smiling brightly, nothing could ruin their night. Absolutely nothing. Felix would make sure of it.

Seungmin:

Seungmin loves the mountains, so that’s where the wedding would take place. He would give her almost all the say over their wedding, except the invites. He loved your family, but he wasn’t very fond of your friends. They saw and knew too much. They didn’t support their relationship and Seungmin didn’t wanted to lose his sanity at his own wedding. Their meetups went wrong multiple times.

There would be yelling and even the sound of smashing glass. The police eventually got involved and everything was just a mess. “Officer, I swear to God I didn’t- He-“ She started. “Ma’am you’re holding a sharp object in your hand and he’s the one bleeding. I think I know who to believe.” The police officer states as he looked at Seungmin whose arm and face was bleeding. “That fucking bastard started all of this! He should be the one who’s getting arrested not me! Fucking psychopath walk to hell!” One of Y/n’s friends yelled as she got handcuffed by another officer.

“O-officer, I just don’t know what happened. We were having a great time and then they started to smash things in my house and- and I didn’t know what to do. They even smashed my girlfriend’s pictures. I-“ “It’s okay, Mr Kim. We’ll handle this. We’ll send you to the hospital so your cuts and wounds can receive medical attention.” “C-could you also call my girlfriend? My hands hurt.” Seungmin winced in pain with a sad look on his face. “Of course.”

Twenty minutes later his worried fiancée would arrive at the hospital, frantically asking people and eventually Seungmin questions about the whole situation. “W-we were at our place and I wanted to get to know them, since they are your friends. But, I think they don’t really like me, since they started to throw things at me.”

‘You filthy bastard. We know what you are. We saw you the very first day, following us around like a fucking shadow. You think that we’re going to let you marry her? Fuck-‘ ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t let that happen.’ Seungmin had muttered under his breath that night. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘You heard me puppet. I will make sure you won’t come between Y/n and I.’

“Well, that doesn’t really sound like them?” Y/n mumbled confused as she caressed her fiancé’s cheek as a sign of comfort. “I’m sorry baby, I-I guess they weren’t who we thought they were.” Seungmin whispered as he kissed her forehead.

Not even weeks later they were in court. All charges were spoken as guilty to Y/n’s friends and they couldn’t believe what happened. Seungmin had to wait until they had walked out to smile. He played the game dirty, but this was the only way to win. ‘One way to get these maggots out of the way.’ He slipped the rest of the money to his lawyer before he walked off with his fiancée. “I’m sorry baby, but this is what they deserve.” A fifty meter distant restraining order was given. She shrugged sadly as she walked back with him to the car. “The bad things are over now princess. Let’s focus on the good things like our upcoming wedding.”

And so they did. Y/n decided to focus all her attention to their wedding and made sure everything would be perfect. The small church, where they would be wedded was simply decorated and the reception would take outside under the big trees with little lights in them as they sun would set. The day would go by just like that. Seungmin was already thinking back, just a few hours earlier he was stressing about that day and now he was married to the love of his life.

“There is only you and there will only ever be you. You who fulfils my heart and my purpose in life. I love you so much and you make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me. I promise to always love you, to always cheer you up whenever you’re sad, to comfort you when you’re frustrated. I promise to be everything you need and more. I also promise to always make you food whenever you’re hungry, since you quite scare me whenever you’re hangry.” He had joked minutes before they shared their first kiss as husband and wife.

Seungmin just couldn’t be happier. Sadly his happiness came to an end when his best man called him over, telling him someone was demanding to see him outside of the venue. Seungmin would excuse himself and would walk off to see on of Y/n’s ex-friends standing.

“Remember, fifty meters.” Seungmin smirked. “You may have won that round, but If I go to Y/n and show her the actual prove of what happened that night, she will ask for a divorce immediately.” She’d threaten as she waved the bag, with apparently the prove, in front of Seungmin’s face. He quickly snatched it from her and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her away from the venue. In the meantime he had called somebody who minutes later ran up behind them. “Take care of her, you know what to do.” Seungmin would say as he tossed her to him.

She looked at him shocked from the ground, which made Seungmin smirk once again. “You really didn’t think that I’d let you walk off like that, right? You dump little bitch. It’s your turn now. And make sure these are gone too.” The boy nodded to his boss before Seungmin walked off.

“Nobody will find you, trust me on that one.” He whispered as he looked back. “Baby, are you coming? We’re going to dance!” His wife says as soon as she sees him. “I’m coming honey!” ‘Nobody will ruin this for me.’

Jeongin:

This young boy wanted everything, just like the other boys to be perfect. But, not only for his fiancée but also to prove to people that even though he was young, he could manage to plan a wedding. The wedding would take place at his home town, also known as Busan. He dreamed of a beach wedding, because he missed his home and because he thought the pictures of her would turn out beautifully.

He didn’t really know what to do, but he wasn’t going to admit that, so he hired a wedding planner. He let her do that main theme and the decoration and Jeongin would just check in if she’s doing whatever Jeongin wanted. Y/n would be shopping for a wedding dress and Jeongin would tag along. He’d act awkward and sit there with his hoodie over his face. He just didn’t wanted to be away from her. Y/n lowkey loved it and thought he was adorable. He didn’t care, he heard how happy she was when she had found the right dress. And she would laugh when he tried to find his way to the exist with his eyes closed. “Baby, you can open your eyes, the dress is in a black bag.” Y/n laughed, making him laugh as well.

When they went out for picking flowers with their wedding planner, he would be stopping his fiancée every time, just to make a picture of her saying with every photo he made: ‘I can’t see my baby, I only see flowers in this picture.’ She’d slap him playfully before they went on with their wedding planning.

Y/n had no idea what Jeongin had planned. A day before the wedding he told her to not wear a necklace on their wedding day and Y/n would accept it without thinking too much about it. So, the next day when it was finally the wedding day, he was calm. He had nothing to worry about. The reception looked great, the ceremony did too and the sun was shining brightly. The day couldn’t go wrong.

And he had no ‘enemies’, nobody would expect from that sweet young boy to be a mad possessive man. His smile had caught many hearts and they all loved him. ‘Jeongin couldn’t even hurt a fly.’ They would all say.

And Jeongin thought so too, he didn’t wanted to hurt people unnecessarily. He does what he has to do when somebody threatens him or his love of his life. He didn’t wanted to make enemies and one way of doing that is by forbidding his fiancée to have any male friends. Another way would be keeping her family and friends ‘close’. In a way where they would only see his sweet side, but that wouldn’t be happening for too long anymore. As soon as they would get married she’d be only his.

She wouldn’t need anybody else, but him. He was greeting a lot of people when he suddenly saw Y/n’s maid of honour. “How is she doing?” He asked her. “She’s doing fine. She’s just nervous, but that’s normal. And she was thirsty, so I’m getting her a drink.” “You’re so good to her, thank you.” Jeongin shot her his best fake smile when she walked off again. ‘Just one last time you have to deal with them Jeongin, just one day.’ He said to himself.

Before he knows it, he gets called to the end of the aisle where he’d be waiting for her. He was jumping up and down in excitement and Chan literally had to hold him down, but when he saw his bride he froze and Chan let go.

She looked beautiful in her dress and Jeongin smiled to himself proudly when he saw that she didn’t wore a necklace. He couldn’t resist kissing her when she finally stood in front of him. “You look like a goddess baby.” He whispered making her blush.

“Please say your vows Mr Yang.” The officiant says. Jeongin cleared his throat before he spoke. “My sweet princess, first of all I want to tell you that I love you and I couldn’t be happier that you’ve entered my life. Ever since I’ve known you things have been incredible and I don’t want it to stop. I promise to be your best friend and to have you back no matter what. I promise to love you unconditionally and I promise you to keep you warm at night. I promise to make sure I’m not just hungry before I yell, once again I love you and I’m sorry.” Everybody laughed at the joke he cracked in the middle of his vows. “Lastly, I promise to make you happy every chance I get and to protect you. I know we are young, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much.”

He’d chuckle as he noticed the tears in her eyes. He quickly held her in his arms and kissed her forehead.

“…I now pronounce you as husband and wife. Jeongin, you may kiss your bride.” Jeongin took her face into his hands and connected their lips for the first time as husband and wife. She smiled against his lips and he returned the smile when he pulled away. The people next to them were cheering and flashing lights filled the room.

“Ready to go Mrs Yang.” He asks as he took her hand. “I am Mr Yang.” “Let’s go then.”

After the two came back from their beach photoshoot, they were greeted by their friends and family. They would share their first dance and cut the cake, before Jeongin would surprise his wife.

“Alright, are your eyes closed?” He asks his wife as he held a velvet box in front of her. “I do.” She giggles back. “Alright, open them.” He says when he had opened the box, making people guess and ‘awh’ in the background. Y/n gasped and started to laugh at Jeongin’s sweet gesture. He had customised a necklace for her with ‘Mrs Yang’ written on it, diamonds decorating the accessory. She took it from him and gave him a kiss.

“I love it.” She whispered to him as he put it on her. “I’m glad you like it my love. Now, you can show off your new last name.” He laughs, secretly meaning it. He wanted to everyone to know, wherever they were who she belonged to.

And with that shining ring and necklace on her and of course him on her side, everybody would.

Gifs aren’t mine

@klynvan @daebakshinki

Important message:

Some may have seen in my Stray Kids masterlist that there will be a honeymoon part of this Yandere wedding series. I will post that, in May. I’m sorry to say this, but on the other hand I’m not because my finals are coming up and that needs all my attention and focus right now. (I failed my senior finals last year so I kind of want to graduate this year, you know what I mean.) My birthday is literally a day before the national exams start and I can’t, I’m lowkey pissed.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was. That I will be on a hiatus until the end of May/ the beginning of June. This also mean that for the people who have requested something from me will have to wait, I ask you to please understand but my school is my number one priority at the moment as it should be.

Once again, I won’t be writing until May/June, but you might see me liking or reblogging stuff on Tumblr. I rather not take any request right now until that point when I’m back, but I guess that you can leave it in a private message and I can put it on my to do list.

Lastly, thank you all for the reading and supporting my content and I will be back soon. Thank you guys by the way also for the 700+ followers, I still can’t believe how much this account has grown in just 4 months. Thank you all so much!

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fandomlife-giver · 8 years

Text

His Maid, At The Funeral: 2

Summary: The Murderer has shown his true face. A soul has been lost. An event of passing will take place. I should know now how cruel my master can be...but his words continue to surprise me.

Pairings: Eventual Sebastian x Demon!reader

@wintersdoll

Warnings: Talk of death

Word Count: 3280

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The memories consisted of the servants played, including you and Ciel on all of the chores and daily scolding you've both done towards the servants.

"No... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Who are these people?! What the hell is this?!" Grell questioned.

Sebastian gasped as blood poured from his mouth. "That is what my life has been for the past two years, after all."

"I'm not interested in seeing your daily chores, I know all that! Come on, show me the good stuff!" Grell said in frustration.

"So sorry, I'm afraid I charge for the juicy bits." Sebastian said as he suddenly appeared behind Grell.

"Skinflint!" Grell said as he turned to face him, only to get kicked, making him fly into the wall.

"Look at that, my clothes are ruined again." Sebastian said as he looked at his sleeve, that was bloody and torn.

You stood up from where you had landed and looked at your side that was torn. "Dear, This is past mending." You said before jumping back onto the roof, next to Sebastian.

"You must be pretty confident to worry about your clothes right now. But of course you know I always appreciate a sharp-looking man. Well done, Bassy!" Grell stated.

Sebastian removed his tailcoat and held it out next to him. "There was one technique that I absolutely did not want to use... but I have no other choice." He said as he closed his eyes.

You looked at him in surprise. "My, Sebastian! Don't tell me you are actually considering it?"

He opened his eyes and looked at you. "Indeed, it must be done."

"So, at last you're gonna fight me seriously?" Grell said, before starting up his chain saw. "Shall we send the curtain down with the next blow? I'll miss you terribly, but perhaps we'll meet again."

You sighed and closed your eyes. "I cannot bare to witness this." You said, before you then jumped onto the opposite roof.

"Farewell!" Grell exclaimed as they both jumped up, towards each other. Grell swung it directly in his face with a grin, but it dropped once Sebastian had shoved his tailcoat into his chain saw, making it stop. Sebastian landed back on the roof with Grell falling on it. He stood up and looked at Sebastian in disbelief.

"What the hell?!"

Sebastian put his hand on his hip and looked down at him. "That was my finest tailcoat, it was made of the highest quality Yorkshire wool."

You jumped back onto the roof, next to Sebastian. "Wool is a very tricky fabric. Once it becomes caught in something, it is exceedingly difficult to remove." You stated as Grell tried to pull it out of the chain saw.

"How could you do this to meee?!" Grell whined.

"I acquired that coat at the manor, and I certainly didn't want to use it for something like this...But you had already ruined it, after all." Sebastian said as you both walked up behind him. He turned and looked up at you both in fear.

"So then, fisticuffs, yes? That suits us quite well. We do have some expertise in that area." You said as you both cracked your knuckles and leaned down with smiles.

"No! Please! Just one request! Not my face!" Grell begged. You kicked him in the face, Sebastian punched him in the face, and once again you kicked him, and jumped off the roof, landing on the ground. Sebastian threw multiple more punches and kicks.

"I said, no face!" Grell complained just as Sebastian threw one last punch, which sent him flying off the roof.

While this was happening, you had stood up and walked over to Ciel, who had covered Madam Red with Sebastian's coat and was crouched down next to her. "Mas-"

"Please, just stoooop!" You were cut off by Grell's screams.

You both looked up to see Grell falling straight down, towards you and Ciel. You jumped up and kicked him to the left, making him fly and skid across the ground to a stop, Sebastian landing seconds after.

"I am sorry. I seem to have misjudged the distance, my lord." Sebastian apologized as Grell's chain saw landed on the ground.

"You both look pretty awful." Ciel commented as he looked at the both of you.

"He caused us a little bit of trouble, actually." You stated.

"I'll show you someday..." Grell groaned.

You both looked over at him where he lied. "Oh, dear. I suppose one can't kill a reaper with bare fists alone." Sebastian said as he walked over to him.

You looked over and picked up Grell's death scythe. "Well then, just try this, his very special reaper scythe." You said, before tearing Sebastian's tailcoat out of it and dropping it. "There, that's unstuck. Now it should cut right through you." You tossed it to Sebastian, who caught it.

"Wh-What are you thinking?! No, don't!" Grell begged, just before Sebastian stepped on his face and kept him in place.

"I must say, this is much nicer. I prefer kicking to being kicked." Sebastian said.

"That hurts!" Grell complained.

You looked over at Ciel. "Master, he is revolting but still a divine being. Are you prepared to accept whatever consequences come of killing him?"

"Y/N, do you need me to repeat my order?" He inquired.

You smiled. "No, sir."

Sebastian started the chain saw, making Grell scream. "We finally found something you're good at: screaming. Very well done." Sebastian said as he brought the saw behind his head. "And as a reward, I shall kill you with this cherished little toy of yours."

"Stop it, stop! Don't kill me!" Grell pleaded.

Sebastian smiled. "So sorry."

"I can tell you who killed the kid's parents!"

Ciel's head shot up as Sebastian swung down the chain saw, but he was blocked by a long metal pole that came out of nowhere. Your eyes widened. You knew that weapon anywhere. You all looked up to see a man with glasses standing on top of the building, holding a book and a long set of shears.

"I apologize for interrupting." He said as he retracted the shears. "Let me introduce myself: I am William T. Spears, an administrator at the Grim Reaper Staffing Association." He announced, fixing his glasses and looking down at Grell. "I've come to retrieve that reaper there."

A big smile spread across Grell's face as he saw him. "William! Oh, William! Did you came to save me—Urgh!" His voice was muffled as William jumped down and landed on his head.

"Attention, Reaper Grell Sutcliff, you have violated several regulations. First, you killed people not on the To-Die list. Second, you used a death scythe that had been modified without authorization. And finally, you offered someone strictly classified information regarding the identity of his relatives' murderer." William recalled as he read from the book.

You slightly smiled. You had met William over a century ago and it seemed he was still the professional grim reaper and workaholic you had first met, which was the complete opposite of Grell.

He closed the book and stepped over Grell to stand in front of Sebastian and lowered his head. "I apologize for all of the trouble this wretch has caused." He reached inside his pocket and held out a card. "Here, please accept my card." Sebastian stared at him and grabbed it. "Honestly... I never thought I'd see the day when I had to bow my head to demon scum like you...This is a disgrace to all grim reapers." Will muttered this as Sebastian smiled.

"Then perhaps you should keep a better eye on your minions... so they don't trouble us." Sebastian suggested as he threw away the card.

"Humans are so easily tempted, William." You said as you walked over and stood beside Sebastian. William rose his head and looked at you in surprise. "You know it well, they will do anything when in the grip of utter despair. They will grasp at any thread that promises to save them from unhappiness, no matter the consequences."

"Indeed. Interesting to see you here, Y/N." He said as he straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "I see you are back at being the loyal cat to the Phantomhives." He said as he looked at the family crest on your uniform. You smiled at him. You were pretty much the only demon he was ever nice to, considering your ancestry, he didn't consider you as just any demon, only a more trustworthy and less troublesome one.

"Anyhow, that's a charming bit of hypocrisy." He said as he looked back at Sebastian. "You demons capitalize on that quality more often than we do."

Sebastian smiled. "That I cannot deny."

Will looked back at Ciel. "Right now you seem to be a tame dog; that makes you far less dangerous than the rabid mongrels running around free." He stated, then looked over at you.

"Still, be cautious of the company you keep, Y/N." His eyes drifted over to Sebastian.

You smiled at him. "You have no reason to worry, William."

"I don't, I just wish not to do the extra paper work." He said as he began to walk over to Grell, but stopped and looked back at you. "Also, I would feed a little more if I were you, you have looked better."

You nodded with a smirk. "Now, come with me, Grell. We're leaving." He grabbed Grell's hair and began to drag him away. "We're already shorthanded, and here you've gone and landed me with even more overtime. The Board is not going to be pleased."

Sebastian glared at him as he walked away and pulled out Grell's chain saw, then threw it at him.

Will caught it in between his fingers and looked back at him. Sebastian smiled. "I assume you want that, yes?"

"Yes, thank you." He said as he let go of it, letting it drop onto Grell, who groaned. "Now, if you'll please excuse us." He said as they disappeared from sight.

You sighed and turned around, you and Sebastian walked over to Ciel. "I'm sorry, my lord. We allowed half of Jack the Ripper to escape." You apologized.

He was quiet for a moment. "It's all right... It's... done."

You knelt down and touched his cheek. "You're chilled to the bone, master. Let's hurry back to the house now. I'll make some hot tea to warm you up." You said with a smile.

"That's a good idea." He stood up, only to fall to the side.

"Sir?!" Sebastian exclaimed as he went to catch him, until Ciel slapped him and backed away. Sebastian's eyes widened. "But, master?"

"No. Stay back. I can stand on my own. I'm fine... Just a little tired, that's all."

. . .

The church bells began to ring as the clock stroke 3. It was loud enough for all of London to hear, but in this case, it brought the attention of three kids who ran over to the church. "Wait, brother!" The little girl called after her older brother as she and her other brother ran to the fence.

"Hey, look. The church is really crowded today." The littlest boy said.

"I wonder why?" The girl said as she looked up at the eldest brother.

"Don't know." The eldest boy responded.

"But you're older than us! Doesn't that mean you should know?" The little boy questioned.

"You're stupid!" The girl said while pointing at him.

"Hey! I'm still only twelve! It's not like I'm supposed to know everything yet!" He shouted.

"You have a point." A voice said.

They looked over to see Undertaker, leaning on the opposite side of the fence. "At only twelve, it would be a shame if you did understand what's happening. Let me explain it. Today is a special noblewoman's big day."

The kids backed away in fear. "What do you mean, mister?" The girl asked. "Well... it's the ultimate ceremony of any person's life...The funeral." . . .

You stood outside of the church with Ciel and Sebastian, holding a scarlet red dress in hand. "Would you like to do the honors, sir, or shall I?" You asked. He said nothing and instead grabbed the dress and threw it over his shoulder. "As you wish."

Ciel opened the doors to the church, making everyone turn and look at him. "You're here...!" Lizzy exclaimed as she turned. You and Sebastian stood on the opposite sides of the door, watching Ciel as he walked down the aisle with people whispering among themselves.

Ciel approached the bed on which Madam Red lied on and jumped up, draping the dress on her body. "White flowers and plain dresses didn't suit you in life and they don't now. You belong in red, the color of passion, color of spider lilies..." He said while pulling out a red rose and putting it next to her head. "Farewell, Aunt An."

Lizzie looked to the door as thousands of rose petals began to fly into the church, you, Sebastian and Undertaker, standing by a glass Hearst of roses. "Rest peacefully... Madam Red." . . .

"This is her?" Sebastian asked while holding Ciel's top hat as you, Ciel and Undertaker stood in front of the grave of Mary Kelly in the Cemetery.

"Yes, indeed it is. My last customer from the Jack the Ripper." Undertaker responded while holding a bouquet of white roses.

"Apparently she was an immigrant. She had no family in the country to claim her body." Ciel stated.

"So our kindhearted earl here hired me to pretty her up, even had this gravestone erected. A truly noble act on his part, eh?" Undertaker said as he poked Ciel's cheek with his nail.

"This isn't noble at all. The noble thing to do would have been to save her. And I could have if I put her life first. But no, I had to catch them. Apprehending Jack the Ripper was more important. I knew they intended to kill her. I knew, and I let her die... along with my aunt." Ciel corrected.

"You regret what you did, my lord?" Undertaker questioned.

"No, I don't. Jack the Ripper is gone forever, and I've done exactly as Her Majesty asked of me." Ciel replied.

"Victoria, eh? I don't much like her. She just sits back and watches while you do all her dirty work for her. Doesn't seem fair to me." Undertaker spoke.

"That's what the Phantomhives do, it's our duty, passed down through generations along with this ring." Ciel said while looking at his ring.

"That ring reminds me of a collar a master puts on a dog. You're forever tied to the Queen by the leash of duty." Undertaker pointed out.

"I chose this life! Stop—!"

Undertaker grabbed Ciel by his tie and looked at him. "Lord Phantomhive, you should be wary of the path down which duty will take you; that collar may choke you yet!" He warned before releasing him, making Ciel stumble into Sebastian's arms. "And we wouldn't want that now, would we?" He said while giving him the roses.

"Do come by if you should need my assistance again." He said as he gave you a quick hug and walked away. "You, that hilarious Y/N and butler of yours are always welcome." He stated with a laugh as he disappeared down the hill. . . .

It was sundown and you all still stood at the grave site. You walked up behind Ciel and placed his coat on his shoulders after he put the roses on her grave. "It was noble."

"Don't make me repeat myself. What I did wasn't noble..." He said while looking back at you.

"I thought it was, but you think not, then maybe, it was weakness." You inquired as you leaned down to him.

"What?!" He questioned as he looked at you.

"Tell me, why didn't you kill her? She didn't hesitate on killing me, and it seemed like she was going to take your life, as well. You could have stopped her. Even then, you refused to draw your gun. Why, master? Were you afraid of killing Madam Red? With your own hands? Would it have been easier for you if she was a stranger instead of someone who was your own flesh and blood?"

"I held back because it was your jobs." He simply said. You were taken back by his answer. "I knew that you would protect me even at the cost of your own life. That's why I didn't draw my gun on her. It's like I said, you are only a pawn." Even Sebastian had looked at him in surprise.

Ciel looked between you both, his eyes landing on Sebastian. "Our contract demands that you serve me, and that you protect me with your very life until I achieve my goal." He said, before looking back at you. "I know not of your contract, but it is clear you will stay true to your word, until my death. Until that time I'm not worried for my safety." He said as he looked back at the grave.

"I imagine you demons know nothing of "principles" or "loyalty," but you do know about deals. And so because of the deals we have made, you'll both protect me no matter the circumstance. Am I wrong?" He questioned.

"Of course not, but you stopped me from killing her as well." Sebastian pointed out.

"After she had nearly killed Y/N and looked at me, there was hesitation in her eyes. I didn't think she'd be able to do it... not to me, her kin, her sister's son. One wrong move can cost your life. Just like chess. She hesitated and lost sight of her next move. That's all there is to it." He stated, before walking away.

"That's why I don't hesitate." He said as he passed you both.

Yours and Sebastian's eyes widened and you looked at each other, then him. Sebastian smirked. "Now that's what I expect to hear. Always skillfully manipulate your pieces, that's how you survive. Use us, and Madam Red, any piece within your reach. Even if the bodies of your pawns pile up at the foot of your throne...Because if the king falls, this game is over." He said, making Ciel stop.

"I won't hesitate, I won't regret the moves I've made." He said, before turning back and looking at the both of you. "Y/N, Sebastian... you, you two are the only ones who can never betray me. And you can never leave my side. That's an order!" He ordered as the wind picked up.

You both bowed down to him. "Yes, my young lord."

I will be there, anywhere you wish us to follow. Even if your throne crumbles, your brilliant crown rusts, and a mountain of bodies piles at your feet...I will stay beside you. We will sit side by side atop your fallen pawns...until the last bell tolls...I will be there...Ciel.

#sebastian michaelis x reader #black butler x reader #black butler fanfiction

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