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reiderwriter · 8 months

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♦️There Are No Words Left to Speak ♦️

Chapter 5 of That's What You Get

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Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem Reader

Summary: In a panic, you spill your guts to Penelope and receive some much needed advice before your "date" with Reid.

Warnings: None!!

A/N: This one is 4k words long because I absolutely could not help myself 😭 I've has a lot of messages and asks about this series lately, and it's been really encouraging to see! If you like this chapter, please comment or reblog and let me know or come chat with me in my inbox! Happy Reading!!

You can find my masterlist here and the series masterlist here.

"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice," you screamed into the room as soon as the door slammed open, startling the other woman as she threw her phone up in surprise.

"Jesus, Y/N, you're lucky I didn't reach for the all too full can of pepper spray I store in here, oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Pen, I'm just, I'm kinda freaking out, and I need your help."

"Are we going to need wine, or are we going to need ice cream and a chick flick? What kind of problem are we talking here?" she asked from her place at the desk.

"I married Spencer in Vegas." You said and then clamped your hand over your mouth as you finally let the pressure of the weekends mess seep out of you now that you'd shared your secret.

"Oh my god, both, we'll do both. We need both, let's go, let's go now."

–X–

Penelope drove the two of you home, immediately moving into a mothering role as soon as the words left your mouth, and she could see your impending implosion. You were grateful that she didn’t ask you any further questions as you made your way back to her apartment, just turning on the radio to a channel playing 90s pop hits and simply letting you calm down through the fun music.

When you finally got through her door, she let you get comfortable and then immediately came back with all the things she promised.

“Okay, I know you’re more a rose girl, but all I have is this really nice white that Derek got me for my last birthday and half a bottle of tequila, and I think it’s better for the both of us if we don’t open the tequila. Also, I have chocolate, cookie dough ice cream, and tissues, and When Harry Met Sally on DVD, I'm ready to be plugged in and played as soon as you say the word.”

“Penelope, we do not tell you how brilliant you are as often as we should.”

“While that is true, I’m trying my best not to immediately cave and ask you to spill, so can we please sing my praises after you explain what you mean by saying you married Spencer.”

“God, Penelope, I don’t know what happened,” you let your head hang in your hands and she immediately moved to sit closer to you, rubbing a hand over your back and getting the tissues ready.

“We went out drinking, and my mom got in my head earlier in that call I took, and I don’t remember anything and then I woke up and we were in bed together and-” you rambled out, lifting your head up as you tried to explain, but she cut you off quickly there.

“You were in bed together? Did you… you know, bump uglies with Spencer? Do the old in n’ out? Sorry, I’m making this worse, I’ll shut up now,” she said, but you laughed at her enthusiasm, and you felt more of the weekend’s tension leave your body. You knew that you had made the right decision coming to Penelope with this. She always knew how to make you feel better.

“I don’t know, but it looks like it. TMI but-”

“Hold on, I don’t think I want to know what the Good Doctor is like in bed.” She visibly shuddered, and you let out another shaky laugh.

“Well considering I remember none of it, you’d be hard pressed to get those details from me. I did wake up handcuffed to the bed, though.”

“Shut the front door, no you did not!” Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m almost morbidly curious, but I don’t want to open that can of worms. Sorry, please continue.”

You took a swig of the wine she poured you and relaxed a bit further into her couch, pulling your legs up under you to find a more comfortable position as you told the rest of your story to Penelope, gaining more confidence with each of her reactions to what you told her.

“So, now we just need to track down our two witnesses and get the marriage quietly annulled, and we can forget it ever happened.” You could hear the frown in your voice before you realised you were making that kind of expression, and from Penelope’s reaction, you could see that she’d noticed too.

“Oh.. oh, I know that look. You don’t want the annulment, do you?”

“Yes! I mean, no! Look, I really don’t know how to answer that right now, it’s just…” you trailed off, and Penelope silently filled your wine glass again, not saying anything and letting you come around at your own pace.

“Earlier today, after we told Rossi, and before I came running to you, he… he kissed my forehead, and he called me Mrs. Reid, and I really liked it. And I didn’t think about it before, but Reid is nice, and he is good, and he is obviously really smart, and, god he’d be a great dad, and he took care of me yesterday and today… Penelope, I think I have a crush on my husband.” You gasped out, feeling the weight of your revelation as it hit you straight in the gut.

“But we talked about it and we’re getting an annulment and now it’s like I fucked up before I really got the chance to let it go anywhere, and what if it’s a mistake? What if I made the world’s greatest fuck up and married a great man in Vegas and then threw it all away a week later?” you raked your hand through your hair quickly, trying to ignore the tears forming quickly in your eyes.

“Oh my god, sweetie, it’s going to be okay… You’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s going to be okay…” she patted you on the back and you let the tears fall down a bit, quickly dabbing them away with the now balled up tissue in your hand.

“I don’t know if I can, Pen…” you tried to smile up at her, but you could feel your lips wobbling and you let your head hang again before you could let out a choked sob.

“No, nonononoonono, listen to me… Okay, promise you won’t hate me after I say this?” She said, squishing your cheeks between her hands as she made you look up into her eyes.

“I pwomise,” you sniffed out, voice muffled by her strong grip. She let you go then, content that she had your attention.

“I know for a fact that the boy is as infatuated with you as you are with him because… because I saw you two.” She stopped there to watch your reaction, but you froze, so she continued.

“You… you called me from wherever you guys were out in Vegas, mumbled some words over the phone and then sent me a picture of a brochure with an address on it, and then when I turned up it was a wedding chapel and you were getting married.” She winced out those last words, and you gasped at the confession.

“You were one of the witnesses! Penelope!” You pointed an accusatory finger at her, but it was half-hearted. You knew that you were stubborn enough while sober. You certainly wouldn’t have been persuaded out of something you obviously wanted while blackout drunk.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but you guys were just too cute! He was giving you all these small kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks, and you looked like innocent kids giddy and high on love, and I didn’t want to bring you back down to earth. You looked so happy, and I do not make it a habit to get in the way of my friends’ happiness.”

“Penelope, why didn’t you say anything?” You groan out, sounding a bit like a petulant teenager who has just discovered her mom threw out a shirt she hadn’t worn in years.

“I wanted to, but I was told not to…” she winced away. “And before you ask, I won’t tell you who else was there! Just know it was someone else who also loves both of you and would’ve pulled you two out of there. No questions asked if they thought you were making a stupid decision!”

You let the revelations sink in, one by one. Penelope was there. Reid couldn’t keep his lips off of you. The other witness thought you two were good together. It almost didn’t surprise you when you started giggling, finding humour in the situation at least.

“Oh my god, Penelope, I got married in Vegas to my coworker. And I think I’m in love with him now.” You were in a fit of giggles now, and Penelope hesitantly joined in at first.

“Yeah, I suppose it is funny when you put it that way.”

“God, what am I going to do? How am I going to face him from now on?” You pulled yourself together again and faced Penelope again, hoping that she would have actual answers for your very rhetorical question.

“Well, at least we have a couple of days off now. You don’t have to see him again until we go to work.”

“No, we have a date tomorrow,” you said matter-of-factly. “Appointment, really, he’s reading some books on alcohol induced memory loss tonight, and then I’m going over to his place to see if any of it can help us fill in the blanks.”

“Oh god, you’re going to talk books with Reid. That’s practically as romantic as it gets for him. No wonder he wifed you up.” You playfully kicked her leg, and she laughed again. “Okay, so no avoidance, okay. Maybe you could put the moves on him? Try to recreate that scene with the handcuffs. Who knows what might happen.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you then, and you did your best not to once again be overcome by a fit of giggles.

“Okay, enough of my romantic problems. I was promised When Harry Met Sally and that ice cream has probably melted, so let’s get to it.”

–X–

You braced yourself at the apartment door as you psyched yourself up to knock. As promised, you’d been greeted in the morning by a text from Spencer with his address and a proposed time to meet. He’d suggested 5pm, and you’d agreed, but here you were 20 minutes early, probably looking overdressed and over eager to spend time with your coworker/ husband/ soon to be former husband, maybe.

You’d left Penelope’s apartment that morning, having had an impromptu sleepover, happy that you’d at least confirmed your own feelings. You’d taken a taxi to collect your car, then spent the rest of your time at home overthinking and overpreparing.

You’d put on a dress and some make-up, and you were almost regretting the decision now you were on his doorstep, wondering what he’d think. You worked one of the toughest jobs in the world together, and you knew that he’d seen you completely black and blue after going blow for blow with unsubs in the past. Would he think this sudden effort was weird? You tried not to pace, knowing that your footsteps in the hall would alert him to your presence, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock just yet.

You checked your phone again. 4:45. You couldn’t spend another fifteen minutes out here overthinking, so you finally just pushed ahead and knocked. Almost as if he had been waiting on the other side of the door this entire time, Reid answered immediately, not even letting you get a third rap in before he was there standing in front of you.

“Hi,” you said, standing there awkwardly with your hand still up, ready to knock again.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you.

You felt his eyes trail down your body, taking in your appearance. The dress you’d chosen wasn’t particularly special, just a mid-length tiered dress with bow straps. The weather was getting chillier so you’d layered it over a plain turtleneck, enjoying the added bonus of not having to conceal down your neck to mask the love bites he’d lavished upon you only a few nights prior.

You looked at him as well, and you were pleasantly surprised by his casual wear. He was more dressed down than he was in the office, but not by much. He was still wearing slacks, and a button down shirt as well, but he’d thrown a beaten up CalTech sweater over the top of them, and he looked so cosy you wanted to bury your head in his chest. He was wearing his glasses, and you were so thankful for that, as you forgot how well they suited him, fitting him perfectly.

“You’re early.” He said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you, drawing you out of the trance he’d kept you in while you took in the sight of him.

“Yeah, I guess I just overestimated how long it was going to take to get here. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, totally fine. Come in.” He moved his body to the side slightly so you could enter the door, but kept his outer arm pressed against the door so you had to duck under it, brushing past him as you went. The small contact made your entire body buzz, your heartrate picking up as you willed yourself to act natural.

“The food should be here any minute.” He smiled as he followed you back into his apartment. “I wanted it to arrive before you got here so I could surprise you.” You turned around to face him, and you could hear the bashfulness in his voice as he made the admission.

“Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you smiled up at him. “What did you order?”

“I remembered you mentioned that Korean streetfood place a while back that does those spicy rice cakes and kimbap rolls, so I got us some of that. Is that okay?”

“Sounds perfect.” You were touched that he even remembered the conversation when you yourself couldn’t even think of when it might have happened. He turned and walked further into the apartment, and you followed him this time, finally looking around and taking it all in.

The walls were obviously lined with bookshelves, and there were books laying around in piles everywhere. The walls were painted a dark colour, which made the space feel calming, almost more intimate, and sunlight was streaming in from the open window on the back wall.

“Sorry, it’s not much. Take a seat wherever, and I’ll grab those books I was talking about.”

You took a seat on the couch and watched him trail around the room, picking up books from several shelves and stacks.

“Okay, this is all of them. So the main takeaway is that it usually takes two weeks to fully recover memories from alcohol induced blackouts.” He explained, bringing you a stack at least eight books high.

“Spencer, did you read all of these last night?” You asked.

“Yeah, I said I would, I thought it would help.”

“Spencer,” you took his hand into yours as he set the books on the floor and flopped down to the couch beside you. “I really appreciate you putting in all this effort to help us, but you could’ve just come home and relaxed, you know. Our case was long and tough, and now all of this, you deserve a break.” You stroked your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to make the gesture calm and reassuring.

“I know, I wanted to do this. I want to remember what happened between us,” he whispered the words softly, not needing to fill the space with much sound as you’d crept closer and closer together since he’d returned.

“So, uh, two weeks then, is that it, we just have to wait for the memories to return?” you asked quietly, letting go of the small moment you’d shared to get back to the task at hand.

“It seemed so, but there are some other more general tips we could implement that could help us piece together what happened. We might at least be able to figure out who our witnesses were.”

You felt almost guilty then, but you kept your mouth shut. You’d decided the night before that you wouldn’t tell Reid about Penelope. At least not yet. You wanted the time first to see if he could possibly feel the same way about you before you worked up the courage to let him in on what you had learnt.

“Yeah, I’m open to try anything. Within reason, that is.”

“Great! I was thinking at first that maybe we could do a cognitive interview, but as we only have each other to work with, I thought that might make some of our answers more biased and not garner effective results. But we could still try to jog our memories by working out some of the same emotions, doing some things we could have done that night, and seeing if any of it rings a bell?”

“Some of the things we did that night?”

“Yeah,” he repled.

“Like… like make out or get handcuffed to a bed?” You enjoyed watching the flush creep up his neck, and his eyes go wide as he struggled to backtrack on that one.

“No, no! I mean, unless you want to, or you think it would help?” It was your turn to be left speechless, your mouth suddenly not complying with your brain as you begged yourself to respond somehow. All you could muster was a glance down at his lips that lingered a bit too long, your body slowly creeping forward.

He noticed and moved closer towards you as well, letting his hand grasp your waist as you got caught in his atmosphere.

“It’s worth a try, right? To regain our memories.” He supplied you with the words, letting you stay silent as your lips grew closer and closer together, seconds away from taking your breath away forever.

A loud rap at the door and a shout of “delivery” had the two of you suddenly bouncing away from each other, Reid scrambling to the door to collect the food, while you stood up awkwardly and tried to pretend there was something really interesting on his bookshelf that had caught your attention all of a sudden.

For the Nth time in so many days, you found yourself trying to convince your heart to beat a little quieter, and you managed to get yourself under control as he returned with the food.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” he trailed off as you nodded, joining him back at the couch as he began unpacking the food.

“It’s totally fine, we should eat anyways, trust me when I say this stuff doesn’t taste even half as good cold.” You smiled at him, but it didn’t go quite to your eyes. You really wanted to kiss him, and you were really doing your best to control your disappointment, not wanting to show off how desperate for him you were.

“Well, you’re in luck, because you now get to witness one of my only flaws,” he said, fishing out two sets of chopsticks from the delivery bag. “I am absolutely terrible with chopsticks.”

You giggled at him and grabbed the pair he offered you, letting out a dramatic fake gasp. “And you only tell me after we get married? That’s it, I want a divorce,” you laugh, and the two of you settle down into a comfortable silence as you begin your meal.

–X–

Two hours later, and you’re still no closer to locking lips with the man than you were earlier. You’d had a nice time talking with him over the food, both of you sitting like kids on the floor as you ate over his coffee table. He’d told you about a Korean film festival he’d attended a few years back, one of many international film festivals he’d been to, and you sat and listened, in awe of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something that excited him. You hoped that one day, he’d talk about you in that same way.

You helped him clean up and settled back onto the couch, where he’d mentioned having a copy of one of the films that had since been subtitled, and you ended up in another movie marathon.

The movie was good, but his presence next to you was even better. He’d stretched out his arms on the couch behind you, letting you snuggle up into his side as you pulled your legs up and under you, screwing yourself up in a comfortable little ball, burrowing into him for warmth. He was a fire beside you, and you wished you were bold enough to push further into him, to drag your hands across his skin and feel even more of him, continuing the exploration from earlier. But you weren’t, and, honestly, you were tired, so you let yourself sit peacefully beside him, touching but not much, as you were lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV.

It was pitch black outside when you finally cracked your eyes open again, but he was still there next to you on the couch. The movie had been turned off, and so had the TV, and there was a blanket now wrapped around your legs, so he had obviously moved, but he had also come back to you. You shifted your head up to look at him and smiled. He’d picked up another book from who knows what shelf and was reading slowly so as not to wake you with the movements of his hand as he traced down the page. Your head had moved from his chest to his lap, and he held the book off to the side in one hand, his other resting protectively over your waist. He was so engrossed by his book that he hadn’t even realised you’d moved and that you were awake until you spoke to him.

“Spencer? What time is it?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep.

“It’s 11:30. You fell asleep during the movie and you looked like you could use the sleep.”

“Wow, what a way to tell a girl she doesn’t look so good,” you laughed at him as he pouted down at you.

“I didn’t mean that. Y/N, you look beautiful today. You look beautiful everyday.”

You lifted yourself up from his lap, one hand braced on either side of his legs on the couch as you bought yourself eye-to-eye with him, your chests close enough to touch if you took a big breath in. Instead, yours were shallow as you looked up at him through heavy eyes.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You whispered, silently begging him to close the space between the two of you. But he didn’t, instead, clearing his throat and putting his book down, breaking your eye contact.

“I should be getting home now. It’s pretty late.” You said, standing up from the couch. He followed you up and around as you started collecting your things and organising the space you’d occupied.

“Y/N it’s late, and you’re tired. I can’t let you drive home like that. An estimated 30% of road accidents occur due to sleep deficiency, you know.”

“It’s fine, I don’t want to get a taxi and just leave my car here and then have to come back in the morning. I’ll be fine driving,” you said, but he softly took the keys out of your hands as you grabbed them from your bag.

“Stay here tonight.” He said, less of a suggestion than an already established fact. You looked up at him and knew there was no changing his mind, but he continued anyway.

“I have a spare toothbrush and some old clothes you can probably use as pajamas, and it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Maybe…maybe waking up next to each other again will help jog our memories, too. We only have until the end of the week, right?”

He looked at you expectantly, and you let out a little sigh and nodded your head, letting him guide you away to the bedroom and back into sleeping in his arms.

--×--

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veltana · 7 months

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Groupie - Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Fan!Reader

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader ✦ Word count: ~3,6k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings: Avenger!Bucky, Avenger!Fan!Reader, secret crush, secret hero, fluff, smut, the tiniest bit of angst, misunderstandings, piv sex, breeding kink (I'm not messing around with this one), talk of getting reader pregnant, pet name (Bunny), dirty talk, sex with feelings, multiple orgasms (for both), unprotected sex, creampie. ✦ Summary: Since joining the Avengers you've been avoiding Bucky Barnes, afraid of what would happen if he ever learned the truth. ✦ Note: I have no idea how to tag this, so if I missed something please let me know. I don't know where this came from so just... it is what it is! This is also posted on AO3.

Masterlist | AO3

Stark called a meeting at the workshop in the evening to show off one of his new inventions that could aid them in the field. As you stand in the back and watch, Bucky comes up beside you, and just as always you discreetly take a small step to the side. Everyone, including Bucky, assumes you dislike him, and you are happy to keep up that front since admitting to the truth would be unprofessional and cause a lot more trouble than avoiding him.

He gives you a sideways glance but doesn’t mention it, he’s used to it by now. Unfortunately, you are still close enough to smell his cologne and it makes your pulse pick up. Unbidden images of being under him, smelling his sweat mixed with the perfume while he takes you apart appear inside your mind. Stark says something but you can’t concentrate with Bucky so close. Shifting even further to the side, he glances at you again and his brows draw together.

"I can go stand somewhere else if it bothers you so much," his tone is annoyed but low, to not disturb the demonstration. "No, it's fine," you mumble. "You forget I can hear your heart beating,” he points out. “And it sounds like a bunny rabbit backed into a corner by a wolf." That doesn't make you any calmer. If he can hear that, can he smell how aroused he makes you every time he gets close? "Sorry, I-" but your mouth has turned dry as a desert. You avoid speaking to Bucky as much as possible because you fear you will just make a fool out of yourself. As you’re doing right now.

"I never understood what you have against me," he crosses his arms, eyes on Stark's display. "Did I hurt someone close to you back in the day or are you afraid I'll revert and start killing again?" Shame fills your chest. You want to turn to him and hug him, explain that it’s not in any way like that. For years you have admired Bucky and when you had gotten the promotion to work with the Avengers your friends had teased you mercilessly about finally meeting your idol, but when you did and you realized that he was everything you had ever dreamed of you got scared. If he knew your secret he would most likely never speak to you again.

"It's not like that," you whisper, finally daring a look at him, but regretting it right away. His beautiful blue eyes are watching you. Quickly you avert your gaze. "You can't even look at me." And that is true. You always look at something else when Bucky is in the same room as you. The only time you allow yourself to admire him is when he's caught up in something else when there is no chance his attention will shift to you.

Just the small amount of it he is giving you right now is almost unbearable. You want to climb him, wrap your legs around his waist, grab his hair, and crush your lips to his. It's dangerous to be so close to him so you do the only thing you can. "I should go, I'm sorry," you mumble and turn on your heel, quickly exiting the workshop and heading for the elevators.

When you're inside your room you breathe a sigh of relief. That had been a close call. Your insides feel like melted ice cream and your knees get weak at remembering how he watched you. The only problem is that maybe you aren’t as smooth at avoiding him as you think, since he had noticed. You'd have to fix that somehow.

Kneeling at the side of your bed you reach in under it to pull out the box. It's discreet and if someone else found it they would probably assume it would be full of sex toys and the like. But a box full of toys would be mildly embarrassing compared to the actual content of the box.

Inside is a big photo book. Leaning against the bed frame you place it on your lap, opening it to the first page. You've tried to keep it in chronological order over the years and the first page contains a few news articles from the war where either the Howling Commandos or Bucky himself appear. You love to see how it starts with small mentions but then the articles grow bigger and bigger. It had been hard to track down some full spreads, not to mention expensive as fuck, and some things you were still saving up for.

Then there are the articles about the Winter Soldier. They needed to be in there, but you never read them. It was before anyone knew the truth about the mind control and the years of torture. The text described him as a killing machine with no morals, not caring who he hurt to get to his price. You quickly skip past those pages.

Your favorite part is the last bit of the album. Recent interviews and photoshoots with the super soldier, talking about his life and his struggles. Not to mention the stylists always made sure to show off his physic, be it suits or sportswear.

Inside the box are also a replica of his dog tags and the hat he'd worn with his uniform. Putting the tags over your head you play with them between your fingers, remembering how they look around his neck. In your previous apartment, they'd been hanging on the wall and your friends had joked about it being a shrine. Now you are too scared to have it on display. If someone sees it they will think you are insane.

You're startled from your musings by a knock on the door and without much thinking you put the book on the bed before opening it.

Bucky is standing on the other side. The demonstration must have ended. "What is your problem with me?" The words fail you as your heart starts hammering. He is too close, but if you back away he will probably take it as an invitation to come in and that would be disastrous. "I have barely spoken to you since you got here but you've managed to make it very clear how much you detest me. I just want to know why." He's annoyed and desperate at the same time. "Can I do something to fix it? I can't have a team member be afraid of me when we go out into the field and I… are those my dog tags?"

Ice rushes into your veins as you realize you forgot to take them off and you quickly cover them with your hand. "No," you lie. "They have my name on them." "No, they don't." "Are you serious?” Now he’s looking more mad. “Tell me what the fuck is going on right now."

You fucked up. You could keep on lying, close the door in his face, and never speak to him again. Ask for a transfer. Or you could show him. And then ask for a transfer. Because whatever you did you would not keep your job after this.

With trembling hands you open the door, releasing your hold on the dog tags and gesturing for him to come inside. "Sit," you murmur and when he does you place the book in his lap. He glances at you and for the first time you hold his gaze. This might be the last time you see him so you might as well take advantage of the moment. It will never happen again. "Open it."

As he hesitantly opens the first page you slip off the dog tags and place them into the box before sitting down too, with a decent amount of space between the two of you.

While he's occupied you study his face and try to commit it to memory. Bucky Barnes, in your room, on your bed, reading your album. It's a dream come true. Though you had hoped it would be after sex while you were still naked in bed, and you could take it out and show him. But this works too.

"This is extensive,” he sounds impressed and you hope he is. You wouldn’t say it’s your life's work but it’s something you worked hard on and is proud of. "I know." "When did you do this?" He looks at you. You shrug in response, "Over the years." "Years?" "I started it when I was in my early twenties.” "How did you find everything?" "The internet can be a wonderful place with like-minded people." "I can't imagine what it could have cost you." "I prefer not to think about it," you laugh.

He glances down into the box and then bends down to pick up the hat. "Please tell me this isn't the original one." "Oh god no, it's a replica!" "Can I try it?" "Please do!" Bucky puts the hat on, tips it to the side, and turns to you with a smile. It's impossible to not smile back when he looks so handsome. "Still fits you." "Feels odd. We used to wear them all the time, but I guess I've gotten used to a life without hats." He removes it and puts it back into the box before picking up the dog tags.

"I have a feeling you don't have these things because you hate me." "I don't hate you, it's quite the opposite." "Then why keep avoiding me?" You twist in your spot uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. "It's embarrassing. I never thought I would actually get to meet you when I started this collection." "I honestly feel honored. I'm not usually the person people think it's worth remembering." You tilt your head, "I do." "I can see that."

For a moment you look at each other and you get to experience what it feels like to drown in his eyes. Those blue magical pools that you've only ever studied on printed paper or through a screen. It could never compare to the real thing. Fearing you're going to say something more stupid you take the book from him. "So now you know," you say. "If you want me to transfer I'll happily put in a request. You were never meant to see it and I understand if it makes you uncomfortable around me." "No, that won't be necessary," he assures you. "But there is one thing I still don't get."

When you look up from your lap he's moved much closer. Too close again. His presence fills your senses in a way no one else has ever done. "What?" your voice almost cracks. "Why do you move away as soon as I get close?" His voice is low, as if not to scare you. With a wobbly laugh, you put the book down in between you and Bucky, scooting a bit away, studying the bedsheets.

"As you're doing now." "It's just, I like my personal space," you explain. "And you won't look at me." A single finger lands under your chin and tilt your head towards him. He's touching you. Bucky Barnes is touching you.

"Are you sure you aren't scared, Bunny?" "Ye-yeah," you swallow. "Because I think your heart is about to burst out of your chest." He moves the book out of the way and slides right up to you, until his leg is pressed against yours. The finger is still holding you in place, craning your neck to look at him. Your body flushes with heat. Now he's really touching you. "So what is it then?" There is a teasing in his voice, as if he knows but he wants to hear you say it.

Your tongue wet your dry lips and his focus shifts to that for a second. Opening your mouth to give him an answer, nothing comes out, not even the truth. "Bunny, you better answer me."

Finally, you find your voice. "I'm scared I won't be able to control myself," you confess. "And what would happen if you lost control?"

You close your eyes. You can't look at him when you speak. "I'll drop to my knees and beg to suck your cock." Bucky inhales sharply. "Or climb into your lap and beg you to fuck me. I'd let you do anything to me just to get a small taste. I'd ask you to use my body as you wanted and I won't need anything in return." "Fuck, Bunny. You have a dirty mind." "Sorry, I can't help that you smell so good and look so hot, it's too much."

His finger on your chin changes to a grip and you open your eyes, meeting his. They're filled with greed for something you don't understand. "You'd let me fuck you?" "Yes" "How about coming inside you?" "God yes!" "When was the last time you had tests done?" "Maybe a month ago? They were clean." "Any partner since then? Are you on birth control?" You hesitate for a moment. "Bunny?" "No… to both" Bucky laughs. "You would let me breed you, Bunny? Fuck you raw until you're bursting with my cum?"

The moan slips out unbidden. Just the thought of his raw dick inside you. Playing pregnancy roulette. It makes you so hot. "Yes, I would Bucky."

"Take off your clothes, lay on your back." You stare at him. "Is something unclear?" "You? And me? You want to have sex with me?" Something crosses over Bucky's face. "You don't have to." He reassures you. "No! I want to! I just… I never thought you'd want to. With me." "Well, you're wrong. And if you want to with me you better do as you're told."

Scrambling to take off your clothes you watch Bucky as he stands up and slowly starts doing the same. He's only gotten his shirt off by the time you're naked. "Spread your legs, let me see."

You pull your knees up and let them fall to the side. The stickiness from your arousal has already coated the inside of your thighs. You're sure you've never been this wet before in your life.

"Bunny's got a cute little pussy on her." Bucky's smile is predatory like he is an actual white wolf stalking its prey. He's down to his boxers now, his erection outlined through the cotton. It's big. "Don't look scared, we'll make it fit, I promise."

When his boxers are off too you can't help but stare but you’re more excited than anything else. The pulse in your cunt doesn't care if it’s going to hurt, there is only one thing on your mind. "I want your cock Bucky," you tell him. "Don't worry, you'll get it." He crawls on top of you, keeping his weight on his forearms and his body off of yours. "But I'm going to kiss you first."

His lips are soft but his kiss is demanding. It leaves no room for hesitation that he doesn't want you. Quickly he works your mouth open and moans when his tongue finds yours. You put your hands in his hair, guiding him to where you want his mouth. Then he descends your body, nipping at your jaw, sucking on your neck before finding your breasts. One hand is warm and the other is cold as he presses them together, caressing the nipples with his thumbs, making you keen and shudder. He uses his mouth to pull more sounds from you, licking, sucking, and dragging his teeth lightly against the stiff peaks, until your naked pelvis bucks up against his upper body, trying to find friction for the need he causes in you.

"You need something, Bunny?" "I need you to fuck me!" "It would be better for you if you come first." "No, I need it now! Stretch me with your cock Bucky, please I need it so bad!"

In a second he's kissing you again, feverishly, and this time he lets his body sink down on yours, his thick shaft brushing your wet center, making both of you shudder. Bucky reaches down and uses his hand to guide the tip to your opening. "Tell me if it hurts and we'll stop." "Promise." You relax into the bed, spreading your legs, and watch Bucky's face as he pushes into you.

He's big, but you're also incredibly wet. Your body slowly gives for his intrusion. There is a slight sting but it quickly turns into pleasure as he fills you. "So big!" you moan and experimentally move against him. "Fuck, Bunny, this is the tightest pussy I fucking ever felt. You're going to be the death of me." "Make me come first, then you can die." With a grunt, he pulls back and pushes in, carefully to get you used to him, but it’s not what you want or need.

"Move, please move. Fuck me Bucky!" you beg and he does. Not in your wildest fantasies could you predict this sensation. So full. So good. Bucky groaning above you. His warm skin under the palms of your hands. The sound of your arousal mixing with the sound of skin meeting skin.

"I'm already leaking into your cunt Bunny. It feels so good." "Yes, Bucky!" "Did you know I have almost zero recovery time? I just need a quick breather after coming before I can go again." With a moan, you wrap your legs around him. "I'm going to fill you with so much cum you'll be drunk on it." He leans down until he's right by your ear.

"I'll breed you all night long. And I'll continue to do it every night until you're pregnant." "Bucky!" "You fucking like that, I can feel how tight you get!"

Shaking your head you try to deny it, but carrying his baby would be the ultimate fantasy. "Please make me full of you! I want a baby Bucky. Make me fucking pregnant with our child!"

"Dirty! Fucking! Mind!" He says through gritted teeth, punctuating every word with a particularly hard thrust. "More!" You cry as the pressure inside you builds. Bucky quickly sits up on his knees, grabbing your hips, pulling you onto his dick as he thrusts inside you. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" you chant. "Make me come, Bucky! Please! More!"

"Bunny!" he warns. "You better fucking come before me, I can't hold it with your tight cunt squeezing me like that!" Desperately you start rubbing your clit and a moment later everything explodes through your body. With an unearthly wail, you find your release and Bucky quickly follows, cursing and roaring while he pumps you full.

The world is unsteady for a moment but then it rights itself. Bucky's head is thrown back as he heaves in lungfuls of air and you're no better where you're lying. He's not soft inside you yet and maybe he won't even go down.

"That was…" you begin but then shake your head with a stupid smile on your lips. "Better than you thought it would be?" He asks. "A million times better." "Good because we're not done." He releases your hips to once again lean down over you, kissing you much softer this time, moving his hips slower. It makes you keen into his mouth with the delicious stretch and the wetness of his release adding to the feeling. It leaks onto the sheets as he fucks you but you don't mind. At the end of all this, your sheets will probably need to be burned.

"Bunny, fuck, Bunny, look at me," Bucky demands and you do. He's close enough that you share a breath. "So fucking pretty. My little groupie." Despite the situation you laugh. "Aren't you?" "Absolutely Bucky, I'm your groupie." "Only mine?" "Of course! I don't have any more boxes under the bed." "Good." He rests his head at the crook of your neck, his hot breath ticking your skin and you close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of him surrounding you. Soon another orgasm works its way through your body. You don't scream this time, instead, you whisper in his ear how fucking good it feels, how he's filling you so well, and how you want him to breed you.

Moments later Bucky bursts inside you for the second time. He takes a minute before he rolls the two of you over so you're on top. The strength in your body is nearly gone but Bucky's serum keeps him going. And he keeps his promise. All through the night, he fills you and by the time the sun starts rising, he pulls one last weak orgasm from you before stopping.

"So fucking pretty," he muses as he spreads you open to watch the cum run out of you, before pushing some of it back in with his fingers, making you whine. With a chuckle, he wipes it off on the sheets, and then looks around. "I don't think we can sleep in this bed, Bunny. Where's your pajamas?" It's a miracle you're still awake but you point to the clothes on the chair. Bucky finds you some underwear and dresses you, before carrying you to his room. There he makes you take a shower but afterward, he doesn't let you get dressed again. "I need your skin against mine," he says as he spoons you.

Several hours later you wake up, sore but in the best way. The bed is empty and you must have slept through Bucky waking up. With a giggle, you roll onto your back and that's when you feel something around your neck. Confused, you look down and find his dog tags against your bare skin. The smile on your face must be really stupid as you fiddle with them between your fingers. Who could have known meeting your hero would turn out like this?

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #avengers!bucky barnes #avengers!bucky barnes x avengers!reader #veltana writes

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vesper-tinus · 5 months

Note

hiii hope you're doing great! could u pls write sth for Simon with fem reader?? anything domestic, soft and cute tnx sm your writing is beautiful🥰♥️

Hello! I'm doing alright, thank you! I hope you're doing well, too! I'm very busy these days, making it difficult to find time to write (maybe also due to Baldur's Gate 3, haha. I'm hooked). Somebody on Ao3 suggested an ice skating date, so I hope it fills out this criteria too!

𝐈𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female ! Reader

Summary: A date to the ice-rink with your hsuband. Keywords: Female ! Reader, ice skating cate, happy lovey dovey married couple things!. Wordcount: 1051

“No.”

“Please?” you ask again, the smile widening on your face, brightening your expression. “It’ll be fun!” you continue, gleefully dragging Simon along—your hand curled lovingly around his bicep. Just as he is about to tell you no again, you give his muscle a squeeze, and after a brief period of critical thinking, Simon sighs as he turns his attention from you.

“...alright.”

At the agreement, you all but shriek with glee, pulling him downwards to press a lingering kiss to his cheek. “It’ll be fun,” you repeat, “I promise! Thank you, thank you, thankyou—” You pull him along with a quicker pace, practically skipping, and even Simon can’t help but be amused at your open display of joy.

Happy wife, happy life, as they say, and Simon can’t help but agree. Can’t keep the missus unhappy now, can he?

As you walk, you attempt to quell any worries you might suspect him of listing in his mind. For all his stoicism, you know his mind is apt to create a million-and-one scenarios that could occur on an outing, with a million of them going wrong. “It’s a very low-key place,” you start, leaning closer to your husband, “my friend is actually co-owner of the ice-rink—along with her girlfriend.”

As you talk, Simon feels your intention, and lowers his arm to snake around your waist instead, giving a short hum of acknowledgement.

“Plus, I’ve asked what days and time-frames it’s less crowded, and today—right now—should be optimal!”

“You didn’t have to go through all that,” he responds halfheartedly, knowing well you did all this for him. “but I appreciate it, love.” The dulcet tone of his voice sends a pleasant warmth through you, and when you stop at a red light, he smoothly tilts your head upwards to share a kiss as you wait for the light to switch. “I’m a lucky husband,” he says against your lips, “to have a wife as thoughtful as you.”

There you both stand, happily sharing kisses as a small crowd passes by the two of you. He presses you closer, and now it’s you that feels lucky when his tongue seeks to deepen the kiss. When you part, you can do nothing but stare warm-faced as the light turns from a bright green to red. “We missed the light,” you note sheepishly, leaning against your husband still catching your breath.

“Doesn’t bother me much,” he says in turn, his faint smile widening slightly. “Leaves me more time to do this…” And once more, he leans down to catch your lips for a kiss, and you eagerly meet him halfway.

Eventually, with a few distractions, you do manage to reach the indoor ice rink.

As soon as you enter the building, you’re met with a chill temperature. Fresh and pleasant, and Simon even seems to welcome it.

You hear the echo of a child’s laughter, and the sound brings pleasant memories of younger days. You coax your husband further inside, passing a couple making their way out. They are slightly red-faced, most likely from the cold, but they look happy and exhausted, and it makes you excited for the things to come.

“Skates first,” you instruct, and Simon gladly lets you guide him around the premise. He has never told you this, but he loves it when you take charge in areas he is unfamiliar with. You’re always physically connected to him—be it by holding hands or taking him by the arm. Leaning against him so he can feel your soothing presence.

You explain things as you walk, and he enjoys hearing it all. ‘Benches for tying our skates’, ‘there’s a café behind those curtains, they make the best hot chocolate’, ‘I feel flat on my face right over there when I was young...’.

Your friend greets you happily from behind the counter, fishing out a pair of skates for each of you. The two of you catch up, making small talk as Simon stands silently beside you, his hand resting comfortably on your lower back. Your friend wishes you a fun time, waving you off as you, once more, guide him along. “We were neighbours as kids,” you explain as you settle on a bench, “even back then she was skating—always dragging me with her.”

You tie your own figure skates first before offering to do his, only to find that he has already tied them with efficiency. Army training, of course.

Before you even have to time to comment on it, he's already shifting one of your legs over his lap.

"Simon?" you ask, watching him untie your skate, only to re-tie it again. Much better than what you did, you note. Tighter, more secure. When you thank him, his thumb is tracing circles against your clothed, lower calf.

"Can't have my wife slippin' on the ice, now can I?"

Your excitement is evident as you carefully make your way towards the ice. You’re no professional, perhaps even a bit rusty, but you’re confident that whatever skill you might’ve had will come back after a few minutes.

From an outside perspective, he would appear casual, perhaps even disinterested, but you know when he’s hesitant. You notice when he’s uncertain, when his jaw is subtly clenched. Perhaps he would’ve been more comfortable in hockey skates, and you make sure he knows the offer to switch stands.

“Almost there, sweetheart,” you say with encouragement, beaming a smile over your shoulder.

The ice welcomes you like an old friend.

You smoothly turn to face Simon, hands outstretched for him to take.

“What we don’t do for love,” he says dramatically, causing you to roll your eyes with mirth. But he takes your outstretched hands in his own to meet you on the ice. Dare you say, perhaps even with a bit of confidence? He pulls you to him, and there you stand, chest to chest.

“Why, hello,” you coo at him, head tilting to lure him in for a kiss. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Simon takes the bait hook, line, and sinker, warming your lips as you share a kiss. You continue this exchange of brief kisses and embraces as you skate, like a reward for his progress. A carrot on a stick. It doesn’t take long for him to get the hang of it, though he is never completely comfortable either. He hates the drifting, and readily sass you when the opportunity arises.

Together, you glide across the ice. Encouraging each other through competitiveness and love.

Your laughter echoes throughout the, now empty, rink, and Simon can’t help but feel awe-struck by the beauty of your enjoyment. To have you willingly share this side of you, one so eager and excited, with him is… humbling. He matches your efforts in earnest whenever you pick up the pace, and whenever he finds it difficult to brake, you’re right there to slow him down. Time passes in the blink of an eye, and only when you pause to catch your breath do you feel the tiredness in your calves and the cold on your face. Perhaps it’s time to call it quits.

You wave at Simon, gesturing for him to rendezvous in the middle.

“Thank you,” you say as you skate into his waiting arms.

He catches you readily, even if you cause him to slowly drift backwards. He arches a brow, awaiting a continuation.

“For joining me, I mean. I… had a lot of fun, Simon.” You pause, draping your arms over his shoulders, your smile softening. “It means a lot to me that you were willing to try.” Your husband’s stubbornness is legendary—both a help and a hindrance, yet he finds it increasingly difficult to say no to you. Though, you know when not to press a suggestion, and he appreciates your willingness to compromise.

“And you mean a lot to me, love.” He kisses you, leaning down to kiss your jaw next. His nose is cold, and it sends shivers down your spine. “Wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be” Which is Simon’s way of saying he had fun.

“All’s well that ends well,” you agree, preening at his enjoyment of your shared activity. “Let’s head home to warm up?”

He hums in quiet agreement, letting you guide him by the hand as you skate towards the rink’s edge.

Wherever you go, he will readily follow.

Wherever you are, he will meet you halfway.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost #ghost cod #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw22 #x reader #reader #fanfiction

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naiomiirayn · 11 months

Text

𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝙃𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙚 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣/𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Pairings: Hobie Brown x Reader

Summary: You broke up with Hobie after one too many times of him bailing on you and your plans together. He ends up showing up at your house to apologize and make things right.

Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending

Extra(s): There are no specifications for anything (gender or any kind of attributes but if you catch any please let me know so I can fix it immediately) just so everyone can read:)

I got most of the beginning/intro from the Character AI app, but I did make some changes. These are just "texts" I made with the bot. The creator for the bot is @/fairybaby, or Della Rose is their username.

Also, there is very little to no British terms in this because I have no clue what kind of slang they actually use and I don't want to get anything wrong. Enjoy!

P.S. This is my first ever fic I'm actually publishing.. I’m aware there’s too much explaining but wtv:P

Hearing a knock on the door you walk over curiously and open it, but as soon as you see who's on the other side you quickly try and close it, when a hand pushes against it.

"Please just let me in so we can talk, love." He's apologized- three times- for missing another date. You know he's busy. Dismantling systems of oppression doesn't give him a lot of free time. He spends whatever time he can with you, obviously, but he knows it's not nearly enough. He doesn't like labels but that doesn't matter-you and him are together. It doesn't matter that you're a little mad, you're still his.

"Hobie, what are you doing here?" He hears the tone of frustration and sadness in your voice, a sound that tugs at his heart strings. He hates that he's made you feel this way, again. He frowns, hurt by your response.

"I missed you. I wanted to talk to you." His voice is hushed and soft. He keeps his distance for now, watching you with his dark eyes. He is used to being that way, he always had been until you showed up. You've changed him for the better and he doesn't want to lose you. He hears you sigh and looks back up, not realizing he had even dropped his head.

"Fine.. Come in." He sees you move away from the door and walk to the couch. He quickly steps in before you can change your mind and shuts the door behind himself. He moves hesitantly towards your direction, not knowing if he should sit or stand for this. You seem to make the decision for him when you pat the seat next to you. He tries to make eye contact but you're not looking in his direction, so he just takes a seat, a little further than necessary considering the circumstances.

"Can you forgive me?" He hears himself blurt out lamely before he can even stop himself and he cringes slightly. Hobie isn't a prideful person, but he understands that he messed up, and he knows how upset with him you are but that's not a reason to stay apart. in his mind, at least. He sees you look back over to him and frown, your eyebrows furrowing and your lips forming into a slight pout. He can't help but admire you a bit, even if now isn't the best time to do so.

"I don't know if I can Hobie, you broke yet another promise to me. I'm just so tired of this happening all the time."

"Oh..." His heart dropped. He doesn't know what he expected but he had at least hoped that you'd forgive him, let him try again. "Listen, [Name], I'm so sorry, and I know you're tired of hearing it- believe me I'm tired of saying it- but I mean it this time. Please, forgive me I know I can do better; I'll show you I can do better." His voice thick with so many emotions that it makes his accent more prominent, but he can't bring himself to care anymore. He needs to get his point across, he can't lose you he won't lose you.

He sees your gaze turn more relenting and soft and he suddenly feels a bit hopeful. "Yea.. I forgive you-" Your smile turns soft before it drops again, and he's confused and worried on why your expression suddenly turns hurt. "-but that doesn't mean we're back together." You turn away from him again.

He's okay with that- you can both start again. He knows he messed up and he accepts full responsibility of that. He takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Then.. Then how about friends? We can just be friends for now, with the potential to get back together." He adds hopefully, trying to calm himself and his thoughts that are running wild right now. He doesn't want to rush you, and he's not sure when you'll be ready to try again, but he's willing to be patient.

"That's the thing Hobes.. You never seem to have time for me with everything that you do, and that's okay I understand that those things are important to you but.. I just don't know if I can do that again. I won't do that again..." He feels his heart shatter, letting hurt fade into his expression as he looks away. "I still love you and I do want to be with you but you have to understand that you can't balance everything. I'm tired of being left out, I'm sorry."

He sighs and rubs at his eyes in frustration, wondering what he can say to make things better. "I do know what you mean," he admits eventually, "and I swear to you, I'll put my work down and spend more time with you whenever you want." He isn't quite sure if he'd be able to do that entirely, but when it comes to you, he's more than willing to try.

"I don't know if I can ask you to give up something so important. Those things need way more attention than just.. me." He sees them shrug and look away, fiddling with the hem of their shirt; a habit they picked up from him.

"It isn't important. Not more than you." He speaks softly, the gentleness of his voice belying the genuine sincerity of his words and he takes your hands in his and when you look at him, he continues. "You're way more important to me than fighting injustice, more than taking down evil, more than anything else." He pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words as he's never been too good at expressing his emotions-yet another thing that you've changed about him. "I love you, more than I've ever loved anything else, and I need you to know that. I will do anything for you, and I mean that. Anything."

You widen your eyes a bit at his statement, and he can see the blush start to creep up your cheeks. "You.. really mean that..?" He hears the unsurety in your voice and he nods. He means it and he doesn't hesitate in his reply.

"Anything." His voice is still gentle and calm. "I'll do anything to convince you that I'll make the time for you." He sees your beautiful smile start to come back and he didn't realize how much he'd missed it until now.

"Okay.. We can try again then," There's a pause before you say something again. "but don't make any plans with me until you're 100% sure that you're free, do you understand me?" He feels a smile tug at his lips as he takes one of their hands in his, lifting it up to his face to kiss the back of it.

"I understand." He nods and breathes a sigh of relief from his nose. There's no more reason to be confused or angry and hurt. He gets his partner back. His other half, and it's more than he could ever wish for.

He could do better this time, no, he would do better this time. He wouldn't promise because he'd made too many of those, but he'd show you instead. Show you he values you and your time over anything else.

To hell with whoever said anything to him about it.

#hobie brown #hobart brown #x reader #fluff #angst #across the spiderverse #hobie x you #hobie x reader

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arlecchno · 2 years

Text

mission accomplished [ scaramouche x reader ]

nineteen | forelsket

prev masterlist next

things didn't turn out so well when scaramouche got a flat tire whilst heading for the hotel, yet maybe, it turned out for the better.

warnings: swearing, just a blurb of scaramouche's lore (if you could even say that it's lore), me and my love for the only one bed trope, reverse comfort at the end i think, a lot of unnecessary scenes but probably still important to the plot

a/n: sorry for the late update... i keep procrastinating on this chapter lmao. this is pretty long since i'm posting once a week now, like around 4.5k words of complete garbage, but whatever, just think of this as a filler chapter i guess. happy reading!

grammatical errors may occur so please let me know if i've made any mistakes!

“you have got to be kidding me.”

“i'm sorry, there's really only one room left that is available, all of the other rooms are fully occupied by the students of snezhnaya university.”

scaramouche scoffed. “we are students of snezhnaya university.”

the hotel receptionist stopped typing on the keyboard and looked at him confusedly. “oh... you guys are um, students?” the woman scratched her head in confusion. “i had a thought that you two were in your late 20's... seems like i was wrong.”

she wasn't wrong. at all.

“are there seriously no rooms left except for that one?” you asked frustratingly, cutting off the previous subject.

the receptionist sighed. “i'm sure of it, though, i'd be more than happy to inform you if there were any changes.” she averted her gaze back to the computer screen.

“...fine. we'll take the room.” scaramouche said shortly after, making you quickly snap your head to him.

“you cannot be serious right now. no way in hell am i gonna share a room with you!” you whisper-shouted, tugging his shirt slightly.

the ravenette rolled his eyes. “it won't be that bad.”

the young woman gave the key card to scaramouche, and he mumbled out a thanks before heading for the elevator, along with his bag. you grumbled out a few curse words, but reluctantly followed suit.

oh it was that bad.

“everyone's fucking with me today.” was all you said at the moment as you and scaramouche stood in the entrance of the hotel room, baffled at what you're witnessing right now.

one. stupid. bed.

things were already going bad when you two were held off from arriving to the hotel early because scaramouche got a flat tire on the way here. you never expected to actually share a bed with the guy you've always hated, multiple times at that, but here you were, once again.

scaramouche groaned, bringing up a hand to rub his face in annoyance. “i can't believe this is happening.”

“you're taking the floor.” you flatly announced, brushing past him to land yourself on the only bed in the room.

the ravenette stopped from his actions to glare at you. “w— why do i have to sleep on the floor?! i drove us here! what did you even contribute to this trip for you to get the bed?!” he argued, stomping to you.

“simple. i exist. i think that's enough contribution, to teyvat even.” you simpy replied, relishing in the comfort of the soft sheets.

“you–!” scaramouche tried arguing further, but no words fell out of his mouth. he only sighed as he walked off and started unpacking his stuff.

you stared at the ceiling. “you know, we can share the bed if you want.”

“and why should i do that?” he asked, stopping from his actions to look over at you.

you fixated your eyes on his indigo ones in return. “well, the bed's pretty big, and we can make a barrier like last time, it kinda worked.” you explained from your lying position on the bed.

scaramouche widened his eyes the moment you mentioned about the pillow barrier. the stupid makeshift barrier that absolutely did not work last week. you only think it worked because you were too busy sleeping like a log to even realize you were tangled up with the ravenette in bed, instead of the makeshift barrier separating you two.

he averted his eyes from you, focusing back on unpacking. “no thank you.”

“guess you're on the floor then.”

“sure, whatever.”

he'd rather sleep on the most uncomfortable place than to even have the same events possibly repeating again.

and he's afraid you might wake up this time.

you groaned for the hundredth time.

“why the hell is he not picking up...” you stared at your phone screen as your friend, once again, left you on voicemail.

childe hasn't been in contact with you for over two weeks now. ever since the trial, you've never heard of childe updating you on any upcoming leads. if anything, childe was always the one who'd share the details to you first before anyone else, yet things left you dumbfounded as he never returns your calls now.

you've asked your other colleagues about it, well, signora to be specific. she only told you that childe's been going through a rough patch lately and that you should leave him be for some time, though he's still always present at the precint, which makes you even more clueless.

i'll try again later, you thought to yourself. he's fine, i'm sure he is.

“you wanna check out the hotel before it gets crowded?” scaramouche asked out of the blue, making you fixate your eyes on him from the bed.

you pondered on it for a moment before answering. “yeah, sure, who knows we might get new leads.”

standing up, you sauntered over with your phone in hand, scaramouche already waiting for you by the opened door.

“do you know what room yun jin and viktor are in?” he asked, holding the door for you.

“not sure, i haven't really asked her about it.” you said, eyeing the number on the door of your hotel room, 515, it read. “viktor's been kind of acting strange lately, so i don't really want to bother him.”

scaramouche hummed, taking the key card with him before closing the door. “what do you mean by that?” he asked, walking with you to the lift lobby.

“by what? viktor?”

“obviously i'm talking about him.”

you and scaramouche halted to a stop in the lobby.

“he's kind of been ignoring me for the past week, have no idea why.” you paused, pushing the down button beside the elevator. “i asked yun jin about it, but she told me it was normal of him to be like that sometimes, which is pretty weird.” you said, focusing your eyes on the number at the top of the elevator that's slowly coming to your floor.

the male beside you raised a brow. “you haven't confronted him about it?”

“of course i have, silly. um, tried at least. he's been avoiding me all the time, doesn't even sit with me in class now.”

the chiming sound of a ding can be heard, and the elevator door slowly opens.

“you don't even see him out of class?”

“see who?”

both you and scaramouche snapped your heads to the familiar voice. viktor and yun jin were in the elevator together, hands interlaced.

calling what you were witnessing right now weird would be an understatement. for the past few days, viktor has done nothing but avoid and ignore yun jin, yet here he was acting normal again, with his hand in hers. the tall man even had the slight audacity to speak up those two words in front of you, the other person he's been avoiding all week.

“oh, it's luna and ivan! where are you guys headed to?” yun jin beamed, walking out the elevator with viktor trailing behind.

you rubbed the nape of your neck, not expecting for them to appear right in front of you. “um, we were just gonna go to the car and get some stuff that we didn't manage to bring along.” you lied. “are you guys on this floor?”

yun jin smiled and nodded. “yup, room 516!”

“516?” scaramouche inquired. that's just right beside yours.

“yeah, it was one of the only rooms left, glad that we even managed to get one considering that we were kind of late.” yun jin said awkwardly, fidgeting her clothes.

you tugged scaramouche's sleeve lightly, making him look at you. the ravenette raised his brow, and you gestured your eyes to the elevator, a signal that you two should get going.

scaramouche nodded at you, looking back at the couple in front of him. “we really need to go, luna left her plush and didn't want it to be left alone in the car for far too long.” he made up an excuse, a dumb one at that, making you glare at him.

“a plushie? that's cute.” viktor said, chuckling along with yun jin.

you faked a smile, gritting your teeth. “well, ivan, we should go, now.” you said furiously, grabbing scaramouche's arm to drag him to the elevator.

“see you two soon!” yun jin grinned, waving at you two until the elevator doors closed.

letting out a scoff, you folded your arms and sent a death glare to scaramouche, in which he paid no mind to. “seriously? a plushie? i'm not a child.”

“it's fun seeing you get all embarrassed, sort of like entertainment for me.” the ravenette said, slightly smirking at the thought.

“it's not funny.”

“it– it kinda is.”

scaramouche was laughing now, much to your dismay. you tried suppressing the urge to not join him on this, but failed miserably when the male beside you snorted, completely falling into a fit of giggles at his actions.

“oh come on! you need to stop putting me in embarrassing situations!” you said while giggling, slapping his arm playfully while doing so.

“or what?” he teased, finally looking at you and leaning closer.

you stared into his indigo eyes in return. “well, i'll...” the words you intended to say died down momentarily as you both look into each others eyes, seemingly like time has stopped.

the distance between you two was long abandoned, face just inches away from each other. looking at scaramouche's flawless face in awe, your breath hitched just for a moment.

you can't remember the last time you were this close to scaramouche. was it when you were sick? was it the time when you both hid in a closet to not get caught? or was it during trial day when you fixed up scaramouche's tie? you really can't tell.

looks like this just adds to the many list of times you've ever been this close with the man you hated the most.

the elevator doors suddenly opens and out of instinct, you both jolt in shock and immediately turned away from each other, flustered by what just happened.

a small group of people, snezhnaya uni students you assumed, walked in the elevator, ignoring the way that you and scaramouche were standing awkwardly at the back. you rubbed the jawline of your face nervously and stared at the mirror beside you.

the elevator had mirrors on all sides except for the doors, so you could basically see what everyone is doing at the moment.

and, if you look a little more closely, you could see the faint crimson that's creeping up onto scaramouche's neck and ears, as much as he tries hiding it with his hands.

“i'm not gonna lie, this venue is ginormous.” you said in awe, looking at the huge place that will hold the grad ball. presumably, you had thought that it'd be a bit smaller, but it seems like you were wrong in so many ways.

the venue was almost fully decorated— with lots of round tables, a big space in the middle (for the classic dance, you assumed), and buffet tables were already set up. some bits of other decorations like lightings, drapes, and a disco ball even, were being decorated by the organizers. though still on the works, the ballroom already looked dazzling.

“don't think we're even allowed to go here yet.” scaramouche commented, eyeing the red tape across the ballroom.

“how are we gonna know every corner of the ballroom then?”

the male beside you did not answer, making you glance at him. he had his signature smirk, and a very knowing look that only you could ever read.

“no, you're joking.”

his smirk only grew bigger at your sentence, and at this point, you might think he was smiling like an idiot instead.

and that's how you two ended up decorating the ballroom, disguised as the many other workers in the area.

“how the hell are you so sure we won't get caught?”

scaramouche looked at you, stopping himself from decorating the round table. he tilted his head to a direction, as if gesturing for you to look over at what he's pointing at. “see that dude?”

averting your gaze to a male a few feet away from you two, you nodded. “yeah, why?” you asked, looking at him warily. the man was sitting on one of the chairs, legs propped up on the table while he scrolled on his phone lazily.

“that's the head organizer.”

“why is he just... lazing around? shouldn't he be the one going back and forth to make everything look as perfect as possible?”

scaramouche hummed. “exactly. seeing how stupid that guy is, he probably couldn't care less if there were people sneaking around as 'workers', much less if there were more additional workers, probably makes him more at ease.”

“do you think we could sneak around and possibly get the files for the plans of the event?”

“what?”

“he looks kind of clumsy to be honest.” you said, and as if to prove your sentence, the man suddenly fell to his butt on the floor, and quickly regained his composure to sit back on the chair embarrassingly. “it's gonna be easy getting those files, i assume.”

scaramouche shrugged, continuing on fixing up the round table to avoid suspicions. “sure, we'll try later.”

and again, that's how you two ended up sneaking in the back of the ballroom, where you assumed the organisation's office is.

“isn't this kind of silly?”

“what is?” scaramouche asked, walking along the halls, careful not to make much noise.

“sneaking around, kind of feels like we're kids trying to avoid getting caught stealing cookies by our parents.”

the ravenette snorted. “that's a very specific description.” he said, scanning his eyes at a closed door of a room, reading the text on it to see if it was the office you two were looking for.

“isn't that basically what being a detective is? sneaking around to get evidence, secretly go on many undercover duties and disappear to months end?”

you looked at him. “well, yeah, but it's pretty funny if you think about it. two grown adults, sneaking around people, going all out just to get some promising leads, it really just reminds me of my childhood days. isn't it the same for you?”

scaramouche was surprisingly silent upon hearing your question, not even taking his eyes off the door he was inspecting just now. you looked at him, puzzled, and nudged his shoulder.

“dude, you okay?”

it took a moment for scaramouche to finally move. “i'm fine.” he mumbled, already heading off to the next location, leaving you behind.

you stared at his figure, confused as to why he's suddenly changed his demeanor and did a whole 180. did you say something that bugged him?

“found it.” scaramouche said, pointing at a closed room ahead of you. he looked at you across the hall, one hand shoved in the pocket of his pants.

you smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, walking over to him.

you've already reminded yourself to ask him about it later on. for now though, you'll have to focus on your plan.

“for a klutzy guy, he sure is pretty organised with the files.” you said, flipping through the files in one of the steel cabinets.

you two have been in the room for about ten minutes now, and much to your displease, you have yet to find the file you were looking for.

scaramouche rummaged through the files on the desk, letting out another curse when the files on there were pretty much useless.

“i don't think we'll find anything here.”

“this is stupid, we should just head back.” scaramouche muttered, heading over to the door. he stopped abruptly when he heard footsteps from outside, quickly turning around to face you. “someone's coming.”

you widened your eyes, and frantically searched for a place to hide. the room wasn't that big, with only a small number of cabinets filled with files, so there were technically zero spots to hide.

out of nowhere, scaramouche took your hand in his and dragged you under an old desk at the corner of the room, secluded from the open space. if someone were to stumble inside the office, they won't be able to notice the two of you hiding under the old desk, lest they went further in the room, in which you silently prayed it won't be the latter.

it's pretty tight space, but it was still able to fit in the two of you, even though you were squished up with scaramouche. you looked at the ravenette, but he avoided your gaze, opting to look out on the person coming inside instead.

the door opened, and a voice popped up. “is the ball really going to go smoothly, boss? i feel like we're still missing a few things for the event.”

“don't worry, everything's perfectly fine. it's not like we haven't done this a hundred of times before, and who cares if we miss out on a few stuff? it's not gonna affect the event.” another voice said, footsteps walking in the room.

the other cleared their throat. “what about that spotlight? i heard there were a few screws loose, and the workers didn't manage to find them.”

the sound of a file being landed harshly on the desk echoed throughout the room. “who the hell cares?! we already don't get paid enough for this shit, i couldn't care less about some stupid screws being loose or a backdrop being slightly off, as long as you get the job done we are out of the responsibility.”

“hurry up and go home, i don't want to be here any longer.”

soon after, the footsteps slowly fade out, and the door closed once more.

you let out a breath of relief the second they left, and looked at scaramouche again. he still had his eyes on the door, not even budging to move from the uncomfortable space.

“scara?”

“hm?”

“they're gone. we can go now.”

scaramouche finally looked at you after what felt like decades. “oh.”

getting out from under the old desk, you stretched out your limbs, the ravenette awkwardly followed you after.

“don't think that file was there before.” he said after a moment of scanning through the room, sauntering over to the desk in the middle of the room. “y/n.”

you glanced at him, bringing down your hands from the stretch you were doing. “what?”

“it's the file we're looking for.”

it was well past 9, you and scaramouche were back in your hotel room sitting on the provided chairs, with your laptop propped up on the small round table showing the pictures you took of the event planning from the file.

“it just looks like any other planning i've seen before.” you said while slurping on the instant noodle cup you made a few minutes ago. given how you and scaramouche were too busy sneaking around the hotel until late evening, you two didn't even manage to get proper dinner by the time you were done.

“there's no use in wasting our time on this if it's useless then.”

you squinted your eyes to look at the planning details better, reading on and on about backdrops, lighting timings, and whatnot. it was all useless, just like what scaramouche had said just now.

letting out a huff, you leaned back on the chair. “let's just wait until tomorrow. we still have time before the grad ball starts.” you glanced at scaramouche. he has been zoning out a lot recently, and it was no doubt that he was doing the exact same thing right now.

“are you tired?” you nudged his shoulder.

scaramouche slowly looked at you, face blank. “huh? why? are you?”

“stop twisting the question around, i'm asking about you.” you pressed, a frown plastered on your face. “you look tired.”

“i'm fine.”

“no you're not.”

now scaramouche was the one frowning instead, glaring at you furiously. “if i say that i'm fine, then i am fine.” he slammed his hands on the table as he stood up, walking away, making you more puzzled than you already were.

sighing, you closed the laptop on the table. guess there's no use in pushing him on the subject, you thought as you continued on finishing your food.

“you sure you don't want to sleep on the bed? there's still plenty of space here.” you asked, looking at him lying on the carpeted floor from the bed you were sitting on. “i feel bad.”

scaramouche had his back to you, so you weren't able to see what expression he was making as of now. “it's fine. hog the bed all you want, i'm not going up there.”

you raised a brow, but didn't question any further. “okay, just tell me if you wanna get up here. i don't mind sharing.”

the ravenette only replied with a hum as you got under the covers, getting ready to finally sleep after a long day of sneaking around.

except that you couldn't sleep at all.

it's around midnight— you think. it had been a few hours since you got into bed, but you haven't even managed to get a wink of sleep. scaramouche was sound asleep now, his soft snores can be heard if you listen close enough.

groaning, you turned to the other side of the bed in hopes of the new sleeping position helping you enter dreamland faster, but to no avail. you groaned in frustration once more.

“you should really stop doing that.” scaramouche said from the floor, voice husky from just waking up.

you propped yourself up with your elbow, and turned to look at scaramouche. “'m sorry, did i wake you?”

scaramouche slowly sat up, raking a hand through his bed hair. “it's fine.” he said, rubbing his eyes. “why're you still awake?”

“couldn't sleep.” you mumbled through the dark room, laying back on the bed as you stared at the ceiling. “been like that for the last couple of weeks.”

the ravenette raised his brow, but it went unnoticed by you. hearing the sound of rustling, you turned your head to the side, just to see that scaramouche had placed his pillow on the bed.

he sat at the edge of the bed, looking at you. “you okay?”

you scoffed. how ironic, you thought. he was the one who's been odd the whole day, yet he was asking you if you were okay, when he should be asking himself that.

“i could ask you the same question.”

at that, scaramouche fell silent. you turned your head back to continue on staring at the ceiling, again, in hopes that it'd bore you out to the point that you're asleep. unfortunately, the archons above really, really hates you.

you heard the sound of rustling sheets once again, and you turned to look at scaramouche, who was now suddenly under the covers, his back to you. “thought you said you didn't want to be up here.”

“you look like you needed company.”

you looked at him confusedly. at the lack of an answer from you, scaramouche huffed and turned to you. it was dark, you could barely make up most of the view in the room, but it was still enough to see the male beside you up close.

“i can sleep just well without you here.”

“sure you can.”

“wh– of course i can!”

scaramouche only shrugged, continuing on staring at you with a fond expression on his face. “what's on your mind?”

“...what d'ya mean?”

rolling his eyes, he brought up a finger to poke at your temple a couple of times, as if to further prove his question. “what's stopping this mind from resting?”

“ugh, stop that.” you swatted his hand away, though not harsh enough like you always do. “was just thinking about you.” you blurted out, making the ravenette widened his eyes.

scaramouche barely believes in the archons, yet he fervently thanks celestial above for the dark room, for you wouldn't get to see how red he's getting from just a single sentence.

eyes wide, you quickly fumbled for an excuse. “n–not in that way! i was just thinking about how you were kind of quiet the whole evening.” you said awkwardly, fidgeting the hem of your shirt. “did i say or do anything?”

“...no, you didn't do anything.”

“then why have you been acting weird today?”

scaramouche looked away from you, sighing. “it's just... when you mentioned about childhood, it just reminded me of mine.” he muttered.

from the years you've known scaramouche, he has never, ever, talked about his family background. you never questioned why, afraid that you were crossing boundaries. now that he's willing to even mention about it, you were shocked to say the least, but stayed quiet nonetheless.

“i didn't respond to your question because i... never experienced any of those stuff.” he paused, glancing at you. “my mother, she, abandoned me when i was little.”

“oh archons, i'm really sorry. i shouldn't have asked that.” you said, scratching your head.

“it's fine. it's been decades now, i rarely care that much anymore.” he let out a breath of a chuckle, somehow amused. “it just hit home when you talked about childhood.”

you stared at him for a long while, and he did the same to you. sighing, you went closer to him and pulled him into an embrace, leaving the ravenette in complete shock.

“you're a strong guy, i'm sorry all those shit happened to you.” you mumbled, wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. scaramouche hovered his hand over your hip for a moment, before reluctantly wrapping an arm around your waist, relishing in the comfort you're willingly giving him.

scaramouche is anything but strong. he had always thought that he was the most weakest among all, yet you make it seem like he was far from fragile, which is ironic, truly. you've always made him feel like a different person, you always never fail to make him feel alive, make him feel like his emotions matter, make him feel important.

it was one of your greatest qualities. you always bring out the best out of someone, and never ask for anything in return. you've made him feel things he never even thought he had, and you've made him feel like he was a perfect human being, despite the many flaws and imperfections of his.

for the last couple of months, your efforts for him only grew bigger. in spite of you two not being able to stand each other, you never stopped making him feel like human. and for the past few weeks, his views of you have changed very differently.

he never thought of himself being in love, just the thought of those four letters make him gag. but with you, he thinks, anything is possible. and after many sleepless nights of being in thought, he has now come to terms at this moment that maybe, just maybe, he has the slightest feelings for you.

it's not something he'd ever tell you of course, and he has never planned on doing so in the future, afraid that he might ruin what you two currently have. he has come a long way with you, from not able to stand being in the same room together, all the way to you being in his arms right now. he does not think it's worth the risk of ruining whatever the hell you two are at the moment.

he sighed after what felt like forever, and hugged you more tightly. “thank you, y/n.”

no response.

he looked down, just to see that you were sound asleep, in his arms. he smiled fondly after a few seconds, brushing your hair just a bit. you looked so peaceful right now, and he slightly missed this view of you.

he wishes he could see you like this every day, every morning, and every single night, but then again, he does not feel like you'd reciprocate his feelings anyways.

he sighed again, bringing you more closer than before.

looks like you do need company to sleep better.

forelsket. from: norwegian. means: that overwhelming gut-rush euphoria exclusive to the beginnings of falling in love. (please correct me if i'm wrong lmao i got this from google)

taglist; @beriiov @hopesandlegacy @cloudsandrenoswife @salamiwrites @thenightsflower @bleedingwhiteroses222 @lisiastak021 @yuuki4646 @lez-zuha @ryhie @sleepy-waffle @yoursockstinks @shizunxie @moonxma @kunikuzushiit @anonwhocried @vqqrii @luminesuprrmacy @calxb-do @sixscara @xooya @mobiussdarling @mafukissu @antri13

(unfortunately i am unable to tag those that are in bold, i'm sorry!)

want to be added to the taglist?

#h✧˖—mission accomplished #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x you #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact reader insert #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche fluff #LOLLL I HATE WRITING THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND #kunikuzushi x reader

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papabirdurskeks · 6 months

Text

I don't like posting personal stuff online but I just gotta get this out so please bear with me a moment.

I don't think its much a surprise I suffer from some very heavy depression and it only seems to get worse when the end of the year tends to come around. I know exactly what it is and why it happens, but it doesn't make the experience any easier as much as I wish it would be. I hate that it tends to peak its ugly head and starts hitting very hard right around Halloween, a time in which I thoroughly enjoy and love.

This is MY month, damn it. I want to enjoy the spookiness that it brings and be happy, yet this depression always wants to rear its ugly head at me and mock me for doing so. And...

I'm just so tired of it. I don't usually post about this stuff or talk to others about it because I'm genuinely afraid of the sort of backlash and ridicule I would gain from it. I don't want to say anything to my family because I don't want to feel like a massive burden on them even though I clearly know that isn't the case. I know they're there to help me, but I am too proud to admit I need help. And when I bottle it all up and snap at the wrong people, I further feel worse because I can't explain myself or find any sort of excuse around it. I SHOULD HAVE said something earlier and I didn't and then I just... hurt the people that care and love me the most.

I'm supposed to be the stable one. The rock. The support beam. That's how everyone looks at me and I want to be able to keep up with this so I can help them and others too.

But sometimes I can't stay up and I feel myself drowning at times and sink further and further into an abyss of eternal sadness...

I hate that I do this to myself. I hate that I can't let my pride down or push aside my fears over something like this. I just... I wish I could be less afraid and more comfortable with myself. I lack so much confidence now that I just let myself sink without trying and I don't want this to be the norm.

I want to be happy and just push past all of this and tell my depression to fuck off. I want to do so much without that fearful repercussion lingering in my mind and tell that voice that tells me "You will always fail/Never be good enough" to shut the fuck up and let me breathe.

I just want some peace in my mind. I'm sorry you all have to sit through this mess and see my constant swings of mood and pay for it. I'm sorry... I am so sorry.

I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to do better, but its hard. I am really trying though. So please, bear with me a little bit as I try to figure things out.

#the chatter box #i know i said i was going away for a while but i took a bit of a breather #and i need to say some things

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disabledunitypunk · 4 months

Note

Hey, I'm the OP of the post you discuss here. I didn't write that post in any of those contexts you bring up, I wrote it in response to seeing people talk about disabilities or being disabled and then classifying disabilities into "physically disabled" and "neurodivergent", rather than "physically disabled" and "mentally disabled" (although the distinction wasn't even necessary for the specific post that inspired my vent). It doesn't have anything to do with specific communities, and I'm genuinely a bit lost about where all of this is coming from when I made that post out of mild annoyance that people will use "neurodivergent" as if it's always interchangeable with "mentally disabled", when mental disabilities are just some of many neurodivergencies. I wasn't annoyed about the neurodivergent community or the terms people use for themselves – I was annoyed by how people use the term as half of a binary for disabilities instead of, y'know, actually focusing on disabilities. It feels like it does a disservice to those who don't consider their neurodivergencies disabilities, as well as mentally disabled folks who don't use the umbrella term of neurodivergent. That's what I was venting about. Not about specific neurodivergent subcommunities.

Next time you're confused about one of my posts, please just message me instead of screenshotting my posts to post your own assumptions and comments about it. I'm very hurt by the fact you didn't bother to actually come to me with your concerns and have instead made a post that you admit is an "ungenerous reading" about a vent I would have been more than happy to elaborate on. It feels like you've been talking about me behind my back, which I do not appreciate.

I wanted to thank you for correcting us. I understand your frustration and want to apologize for our misunderstanding. I think honestly we were a bit afraid to reach out personally individually, but tried to at least avoid our platform bringing negative attention to your blog, but we went about it the wrong way. For both that and our misinterpretation, we apologize.

We've been trying to acknowledge where we are biased and ignorant due to trauma and other factors, but we still are sometimes wrong. For all that you were understandably frustrated with us, we appreciate your willingness to be patient and explain to us anyway, and to be kind despite where we screwed up in addressing that. We will do better going forward.

We have saved screenshots of the post that we can add to this ask for context at your discretion (because we very much do want to take responsibility for what we've said), but we've taken down the original post out of respect for your feelings on how we mishandled this. We tried to keep in mind from the beginning that it was a vent post that wouldn't explain every nuance that might be present within the conversation, but we still failed to take the time to really understand your perspective and reach out to you when we were confused.

I can explain further our background on where our response did come from if it would be helpful, but I won't force you to read it unsolicited, because the important thing is that we messed up and didn't come to you out of an irrational fear. While we have had bad experiences in the past, they have been with people who haven't shown the repeated patience and grace you have in the time we've interacted with you, and we should have had the courage to assume that you would continue to be so.

We're not always good at apologies, so if there's anything else that would be helpful to hear or for us to do, please let us know. We're sorry, and thank you for addressing this with us.

We have apologized directly to OP but want to make sure our followers have the opportunity to see their explanation as well, hence also answering the ask here.

-Mod Stars

#mod stars

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yenvengerberg · 1 year

Note

hello! if it's not too much of a bother, could you explain how you did the connecting threads on your pinned wenclair posts—more specifically, how you link them seamlessly between gifs? all of your edits are so beautiful!!

hi anon! first of all, thank you for your kind words ❤️ secondly, of course! it's pretty straightforward and i hope i can explain it in a way that you'll understand and will be helpful. i'm going to put my explanation under the cut just so i can use screenshots to visualise:

so we need to firstly start with whatever you want to be your 'connecting' piece. for me in this instance, it was a thread. what you want to do is start with it at 'full size' (so before it becomes cut off by hanging off the edge of your canvas) and reposition it so that it's cut off by the gif, rather than directly drawing a line that ends at the end of your gif. this is really important for creating a seamless transition later. so i'm starting with this:

then dragging and dropping it onto my gif, then positioned it as i want so that it's 'hanging of the end of the canvas' like so:

as you can see, i've only used the very top of the thread, there's still over half of it out of the canvas cut.

so what i'm gonna do now is place two little squares in the very bottom left and right corners of my thread layer. these are just little markers that will help me when i come to the next step! it now looks like this:

now i'm going to go to my next gif that i want to link this one to, and i'm going to drag and drop my thread layer onto this gif. now it's very important here that we drag and drop the layer here to ensure you're transferring the full thread across, and not cropping it at the same point as the canvas in the first gif does (this can happen when you copy and paste). so now we have this:

as you can see i've got the full original thread to work with! so what i'm going to do is use those squares that i put on before as a guidance, and i'm going to position so that they sit perfectly at the very top of my gif. you need to make sure here there is no gapping on the left or right hand side, because this is giving you the right width for your thread to align. so it looks now like this:

now the very last step is to slowly move the thread layer up (i usually just use my up arrow here to nudge it along 1px at a time) so that those boxes disappear perfectly out of frame. these are your aligners, so we want them to be perfectly sitting just above where your canvas starts to precisely place your thread to pick up where your first gif left off. take care with this bit because if you move it even a couple of pixels up too much, this can cause a misalignment! it should now be placed to align with the first, so i cleaned up the bottom of the thread so it ends where i want it to, as if it is linking the two shots together:

and now comes the real test! does the thread really connect the two shots together?

ta-da! looks pretty good to me! with this you should be able to line up any type of 'connector' you want between gifs, whether it's a thread, text, symbols, anything you desire! as always if you have any questions or things don't make sense please do let me know, i'm always happy to try my best to explain further :)

#Anonymous #ps help #tutorial #gif tutorial #also sorry this took me a couple of days to respond!!!#i've been sick recently and couldn't work out how to get my brain to string the explainations together lol

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poisonappletales · 1 year

Text

@automaticcheesecakenacho’s Valentines + Arsenik's White Day Reply [3/3] (+ Game Preview)

@automaticcheesecakenacho sent this Valentine to Arsenik:

Arsenik's White Day reply:

"...Are you showing more of him as a waiter or as a host here?"

"Host, waiter - they're fairly similar, aren't they?"

"They've got some differences. Never been to a host cafe, club, whatever, but from what I hear -"

"WE SHOULD HAVE ENDED WITH THE TEDDY BEAR."

"See? Look at that magnificent specimen."

"I hope you're referring to the teddy bear and not yourself. Can't say I would put it past you to do so.

Either way, I would rather see this as me being a waiter for my valentine. I'm not interested in being a host for just any woman. Only for the one who has my heart."

"Why are you shirtless?"

"All the better to hug her with.

Just kidding."

"I was going to say - that's my teddy bear's line."

"This is clearly from before you cut your hair?"

"If anything, it's a modern AU where I didn't feel the need to cut my hair and I'm a waiter at a restaurant...where I'm hoping to see my favorite customer walk through the door and serve her."

"That still doesn't explain why you're shirtless."

Happy belated Valentine's Day/White Day, everyone!

That was the last Valentine/White Day reply. If you sent a Valentine within the submission period and you didn't get a White Day reply back because I accidentally missed it, please let me know ASAP so I can make you one!

About this comic - I was playing around with a rendering program to see if I could mix 3D with the game's artwork. Since I already had it up, I thought I might as well fulfill your Valentine kabedon request with it, @automaticcheesecakenacho! Hope you like it and don't mind the fact it was more 3D instead of straight 2D anime.

I also thought it might be a nifty bonus for Beauty and the War (X Playing Pieces) fans and that it'd be a nice way to end the White Day train of replies.

In the game, Arsenik will very likely have more of an anime/semi-realistic look, so don't expect to see this more realistic/3D one there. Otherwise, it'd clash with the renovated art style, which I'll show you a preview of here:

(Please note that it may be subject to further polishing in the future!) Here's (Present Day) Ambrosia! I remember showing my patreons another variation of this and asking them which style they prefer. This is the one that won!

(Speaking of which, you see that first panel of Arsenik in the comic above? My patreon family can look forward to seeing the full image of that one when I post an update for this month!)

Anyway, you can see that Arsenik's 3D model would not mesh well with this current art style. Perhaps his abs can be rendered that way, though.

Consider this your White Day treat, one that can help you visualize how Arsenik would look more realistically as well. (He has always been characterized as having a long face, slanting cheekbones, a straight nose bridge, and alluring blue eyes.) You also get a glimpse of his modern day fashion - the panels where he's wearing clothes, that is. I promise he doesn't walk shirtless in public for no reason...like a certain somebody.

Either way, this was fun. Here's hoping it'll put some spring in your step for the start of spring!

Have a Happy White Day!

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the-gentler-gamester · 11 months

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Happy ST4 Anniversary, nerds!

One year on since this moment in the first episode changed the trajectory of my life.

Now. Gather round, children. It's story time.

Let's dial the clock back.

- It's December 2007. I'm sitting alone in a dark cinema. The film I'm about to watch is Sweeney Todd. I. Am. Hyped. Suddenly this young lad appears on the screen. I watch the film and fall in love with it. I watch the credits thinking, "who played Anthony? I gotta remember that name. Kid will surely go places!"

- I do remember the name. And saw it crop up several times over the years. Twilight, The Mortal Instruments. But I was never more than just a casual admirer. I was always pleased to see him though.

- Then came the realisation he was a musician too. (Oh hey look, it's also the one year anniversary of Run On/Devil in Me!) I checked out some of his band's music and wasn't too keen (at the time that is. Low-key obsessed now.) It was little too hard-core for me. Although I did think it was pretty cool when I saw that they'd tour and Glasgow would occasionally be on the list. Alas I never went to any of their shows. (THE REGRET IS SO REAL)

Then... he fell off my radar.

- Stranger Things S4. Up until this point, I enjoyed the show. But never called myself a "fan"! So, I never really kept up to date with filming etc. Anyway. I sit down to watch the new series. Literally right after the title sequence, the name flashes up on my screen. I sit bolt upright.

"Oh... you're back."

You know that way when you see someone's name in the opening credits of something and think "I wonder who they're playing. I gotta keep an eye out" but then you're so swept up in the action, you forget? And before you know it, it's over and you sit there thinking "wait... I didn't see them..." Yeah! I should have clicked right then who he was playing... hindsight huh?

- The series progresses and come episode 5, I FINALLY see the face I've been waiting for. And something changes in me. It's hard to explain. I'm immediately intrigued and by episode 7 I'm ALL IN. This character, man!

- I have quite a few friends who love the show. And we're all collectively losing our minds. For several different reasons. I would have these amazing conversations and while the world falls in love with Eddie, I'm inexorably drawn back into the fold by that same blond-haired, blue eyed boy who has been tucked away in my heart, waiting for the moment when I finally realise he's been there all along.

- My focus has been shifted back to him. I revisit all our previous connections with new eyes (AND ears!) All the while, the friendships I have are being fed constantly. Nerdy conversations are my life. I've never smiled and laughed so much. All of this also allowed me to reconnect with people who had drifted away from me. Not intentionally. But life (and a pandemic) gets in the way. This series opened a gateway to allow so much positivity into my life. More than ever before.

- While deep diving into his past, I discover things that open my eyes further. The realisation that he was sober and clean after battling addictions made my heart hurt. But also instantly made me feel a deep pride in how far he'd come. I would watch videos of him interacting with fans and talking so openly and honestly about his struggles. Both with addiction and his mental health. I respected him so goddamn much for his honesty. And made me more honest about my own struggles.

Despite the darkness though, there is his sunny disposition. A laugh and smile that instantly makes me smile too. And there's the pure kindness and truthfulness he radiates. I was pulled in.

- As odd as it sounds, everything combined gave me an entirely different outlook on life. I was happier than I'd been in such a long time. And then came the convention appearances. Oh boy. What a crazy ride that's been!

- After the initial "I can't afford this!" drama, I got my own shot at him. He was everything I expected and so much more. Even though our literal first interaction was him asking "have we met before?" No babe, we haven't but I've known you far longer than I realised. And our tale is a very long and complex one. Maybe one day, I'll be able to sit with you and share it myself.

Thank you. For everything. I'm so incredibly grateful that you came into my life. I owe you so much. My words, gifts and hugs will never be enough.

TL;DR - Happy S4 Day! And if you didn't know already, I fucking love one James Metcalfe Campbell Bower.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #jamie campbell bower #vecna #henry creel #001 #personal #i can't write poetry or love songs so this will have to do #my history with jamie is a long and strange tale #and this post is just the basics tbh #he's come back into my life for a reason I'm sure of it - i just need to figure out why

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starwell-tarot · 1 year

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Hi, I seen you answer something about Aries Venus. Could I ask you what it’s like to date one? I know this guy with it, but everyone tells me they’re heartbreakers and they only lust not love. And they fall quick but fall out of love even quicker

Hello!

I can give you all the info I've gathered so far. 😁

As always, please take what you read with a grain of salt as I am in no way a professional. Astrology is my hobby and my information is a mix of research I've read and observations I've made, so things can be pretty biased!

Keep in mind other aspects in the natal chart can heavily influence the behavior of a person, and that I can always be wrong about something I say and I don't mind being corrected. 😊

So, here we go! I am an Aries Venus woman. But I'm not gonna spend this time to only prove wrong the stereotypes. 😂 Because truth is, Venus in Aries can be players. It depends on their level of interest. Let me explain further by describing Aries:

Aries is ruled by Mars, the planet of action, passion, dedication and motivation. Mars ruled, Aries is stubborn, always ready to put up a fight, independent, blunt and with a strong desire to lead. With that said, I'll list my observations.

1. Aries Venus actually do enjoy challenges and the chase, and should be allowed to be the ones to lead the chase. They like "come get me" attitudes. They like to lead in the idea of "let me show you everything that I am and can offer you. I'll give you me piece by piece if you accept me". They want to show you how much they can spoil you. How much they can carry you in life, how happy they can make you feel.

I would say courting an Aries Venus yourself, when they don't show clear initiative towards you first, can be difficult.

2. Aries Venus tend to be extremely blunt. They're go getters and straightforward. Sometimes they do seem impulsive and will want to confess their heart out or drown you in kisses completely out of the blue 😂

Still, while the chase is very entertaining to them, they don't like to be thrown for a loop and kept guessing. If they are passionate enough and faced with someone who is playing hard to get, even tiny little crumbs of feeling like they're 'winning' or 'getting closer' can keep them going. As long as the crumbs exist, however. If they sense someone doesn't want them, is pretending or even worse, lying - or hiding some truth from them, they'll leave.

But playfulness is okay. Giving them a challenge is okay. It's preferred they find a partner who will want to play fight with them (and maybe let them win 😂) as long as everything in good spirits and just for fun. Healthy Aries Venus don't want to seriously compete with you, and they don't like playing mind games.

3. Aries placements are all about passion and intensity. This is mostly where they split into categories of heartbreakers or single-mindedness.

This stereotype is that they fall in love fast and then fall out super fast and move on even faster. A sock a day, as they might say. I feel this can happen if their passion is towards the chase itself. If they want to be with a person, any person. If they just want to date, basically. If all they want is romance, thrill and adventure and to win someone over, then yes. They're gonna 'fabricate their passion for the person'. The person can feel as if their lover is literally burning them alive with passion and interest but it could be short lasting if all they want is casual fun. (Or if they're going along with a relationship just to see what will come out of it)

Furthermore, they can break hearts if their relationships become boring halfway. They feed off of passion, off of a dynamic relationship where you keep admiring each other and proving love to each other on a daily. They hate feeling stagnant or as if 'i love you' is just normal now or like a daily task. If they become bored or feel the other person isn't as passionate in the relationship as they are, or that the relationship is dying or becoming too sluggish, they're gonna leave.

However in most cases, (and by that I mean mostly in healthy cases) Aries is independent and self sufficient. They're usually not co-dependent and just dating for the thrill of it isn't fun. They'd more likely want to wait to meet a person who truly sets them on fire and then - and only then chase after them as if their life depends on it.

I've personally heard Aries Venus date rarely, and like I said, only if their attraction to that person is very strong. A simple interest or likey-likey doesn't really phase the kind of Aries Venus who are searching for THE PERSON who will keep them in love forever. They're ride or die type people and search for a love so loyal, so dedicated, so intense it will burn them alive.

If someone does catch their eye and the passion goes to their head, everyone is gonna know. (Sometimes they won't though. Sometimes they're gonna be hilariously oblivious to their own feelings while everyone else knows) Their love is LOUD. They chase, they compliment, they shower in affection, attention. They're very blunt about it and won't even struggle to hide it. I often say, Aries Venus is the most likely Venus sign to do that kinda movie scene where they bring a boom box to your window to serenade you and hold a love confession written on a gigantic cardboard.

If that person then returns their passion, is open to being playful and active, can maintain a certain degree of independence in the relationship, is honest, intense and loyal, the Aries Venus will wanna stay forever 😂

They can be the epitome of single-mindedness in this case, kinda like Scorpio placements. (Since traditionally they're both Mars-ruled). They're gonna be so decided, so sure and committed. They're gonna have 'me and you against the world' vibes and feel as if they're literally bloodbound to their peers (be it friends or lovers.) Protective. Somewhat possessive or territorial, maybe. And the intensity, sometime it's not cool and romantic like in the movies. Sometimes, it's actually way too intense and they need to let people breathe.

Articles on the internet say they also need space in relationships often 🤔 I'm not very sure.

I'd go on a limb and say one might also face troubles with them wanting to do things 'their way' in relationships. They might dislike romantic culture in some cases 🤔

-------------

I think that's all I have. 😁

Once more, this is me writing based off of the material I've read before and my personal experiences. Things can be wrong, as some things written are just assumptions. You can always leave feedback. ✨

#astro observations #astrology #answered #anon #venus in aries #astro notes

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bbnibini · 2 years

Text

PSISLY: AN OBEY ME!CYOA – SEVENTY-TWO🔖🔑 (PROCEED WITH CAUTION)*****

To my beloved readers: There is a part in this timeloop where an unknown group is implied to be referring to you/the reader with feminine pronouns. Please note that this will be further explained in the final route and is not in any way indicative of yours or the MC's actual gender. I have and had always written this story with a gender-neutral reader in mind. This part in the story is a part of the plot and does not take away whatever gender you identify with. You are all wonderful the way you are! <3 (Thank you to the kind anon who pointed this out to me and I apologise if anyone who read that part had felt uncomfortable reading it. :( )

[ Tell him to kiss you again ] ⚠️

(Barbatos' affection +10) ⚠️

⚠️ (Warning: Abnormality detected. Capture target 『 𝔹 𝔸 ℝ 𝔹 𝔸 𝕋 𝕆 𝕊 』 @#$@#$$Q’s affection will increase dramatically. Please proceed in this path at your own discretion.)

{ OPEN STATUS : YES

> approved

> displaying capture targets

Mammon : 85♡/100♡

Satan : 85♡/100♡

Barbatos: 220 /100 ♡ ⚠ ️ GAUGE OVERFLOWED ⚠ ️

Lucifer : 5♡/100♡

@#&)(@)€RR0Я : ∞??!@????♡/10000000000♡

CLOSE STATUS : YES

>approved }

“I won’t let that happen,” you whispered back, your warm breath fanning his own. “So please, don’t die?”

>Huh?

Barbatos leaned forward with your approval, planting chaste kisses on your lips to tease you back. When he heard you grumble, his lips lingered longer on yours, until you felt yourself kissing him back. Your hands held him by both cheeks, eager for your gestures to also be returned. He had been accommodating, if not a little eager as his tongue probed for entrance. He tasted like the eclairs and sweet tart you both had for afternoon tea, warm like the Darjeeling on your snack break as he moaned out, satisfied to find your own.

“I can still feel it,” he breathed out, smacking your lips. “…my impending death.”

Laughing, you kissed him back. “That’s not good. What should we do?”

You felt him smirk as he stopped to breathe in between your kisses, happy with your every approval. Everything seemed to grow silent as you could only hear his breathing and yours. Your eyes stung as sweat started to trickle on your brow, only heightening the acute awareness you had of him and his ministrations as it forced you to close your eyes. Gone was the restraint he takes pride in, replaced by something… else. Whatever it was, you can feel it eating you up inside. With every kiss and every call of your name, the Barbatos you had come to know seemed more and more of a stranger to you.

Who…was he now?

And why were you not in a hurry to know?

"Are you okay, my love?"

>Barbatos...was always looking at you so gently. But...

>Is this really happiness?

You shook your head.

"Mhm...I'm fine. And Barbatos?"

"Hm?"

You leaned forward and planted another kiss on his lips.

"I love you."

>For some reason...it felt like he needed to hear it. More than ever...

>Even the thoughts you had from before you had realised the time warps were repeating themselves in this cycle.

>Just what were you doing wrong?

Something had changed between the two of you after what transpired in the storage room. You can feel it in the intensity of his gazes, of how he seemed a lot closer than before. Such closeness also meant literal proximity, as he had been more open with his gestures. The “acceptable distance” was no more. Any opposition to how he monopolised you were brushed off with his polite, yet biting remarks. Mammon had been bitter at first but relented with time. The other brothers had given up long ago, finding you both in worse wear when separated. You had been with each other so much that the sight of you two together had been commonplace.

That was why…

On rare occasions when you weren’t, everyone knew something was amiss.

“But nothing’s wrong?”

“Like hell nothing’s wrong! Are you two fighting?”

If last night were any indication, it would be far from Mammon’s claims. You shook your head and focused on your binder. You had far too many things to do. “Barbatos and I have our own separate commitments, you know.” Hearing Mammon reply an unconvinced “Uh-huh” made you sigh.

“No. 2 had been complainin’and callin’ yer man a slave driver.”

“But isn’t that how he usually is?”

The second born clicked his tongue, knowing you’re right. “Either way, talk to him, ‘kay? Seeing ‘im smile is scarier.”

Barbatos had always been good at keeping his emotions in check. If you had not spent almost the rest of your remaining school days with him, you would have not been able to tell each slight change in his expressions apart from each other at all. Mammon did have a point. He is an expert when it comes to separating his private life from his duties, so seeing that façade slip that even the likes of outsiders have noticed, must have meant that he was (supposedly) in the worst of moods.

In the end, you agreed with Mammon’s request and decided to talk to him after work. You usually wouldn’t bother each other until you were done with each of your duties, but today was an exception. And since it was already an exception…

You

I miss you. :(

Bending the rules a bit wouldn’t be so bad, right? You could imagine the feigned exasperation on Barbatos’ face as you saw the check mark tick on your messaging app.

ButlerBarb

I’m in a meeting, dearest.

You

But I miss you. :(

ButlerBarb

You are unfair, my sweet. You are fully aware that I will abandon this festival if I must if it’s for you.

ButlerBarb

Lord Diavolo had spotted me, and now he’s grinning from ear-to-ear.

You aren’t conspiring with the young master so he could slack off, aren’t you?

You winced. The partnership was unofficial, but you were quite sure that may be the reason behind the Demon Prince’s supportiveness. Partnership with Lord Diavolo > Being scolded by Barbatos. The latter wasn’t even much of a punishment anyway so you decided to soldier on.

You

I just texted you because I wanted to see you. :(

ButlerBarb

But we see each other almost every day.

You

“Almost” is such a sad word :( tragic. painful. heartbreaking. What hurts me more is the kindness in your rejection.

You

“One word from you shall silence me forever, Your Grace.” :(

“I am determined that only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony. So, I shall end an old prune, and teach your ten children to embroider cushions and play their instruments very ill.”

**bold part is a quote from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

Two seen replies. It was either you won, or you lost. No matter the outcome, you will deal with the consequences/rewards later.

Oh. Oops. You just wanted to tease him, but it seems to have backfired. Rewards – 0, Consequences- 1.

(Lord Diavolo has sent you a message)

LordDiavolo

I’ve never seen Barbatos in such a foul mood before! The Northern nobles were making such a fuss earlier, but now, he had turned on full Spartan ! Now, even the senators cannot retort!

LordDiavolo

I’m honestly terrified right now!

Oh. Oops. You just wanted to tease him, but it seems to have backfired. Rewards – 0, Consequences- 1.

LordDiavolo

Thank you for today.

You

for what, exactly?

LordDiavolo

Haha! Don’t worry, I cleared all my paperwork this morning so Barbatos should be free. Good luck with the exams!

You

ur the best, diavolo!

LordDiavolo

embarrassed demoji.png

END

(ButlerBarb has sent you a message)

ButlerBarb

You’re far too cruel, my love.

You

So the meeting went well?

ButlerBarb

Meeting?

You

With the House of Lords?

ButlerBarb

As far as I remember, I did not clarify which sort of meeting I went to. :)

You

shocked demoji.png

ButlerBarb

I wouldn’t pry, dearest. I arranged transportation for you and informed Lucifer.

You

whistling demoji.png

ButlerBarb

A mere 12 hours had passed, but I digress.

Even a second away from you feels like an eternity. I love you, my sweet.

END

“What are they doing?.”

>You wanted to answer "You didn't know either" to Belphie, but all your actions seemed...automatic.

>It felt like there was nothing you can do but watch yourself do the same thing over and over again.

>Ah...you do remember having those thoughts. No wonder why you felt so tired.

“Isch prowbabuuwuwsjd Bawbschtosch.” (It’s probably Barbatos?)

“…I’m going back to bed.”

You handed Beel your unfinished snacks which he took happily as you rushed back to your room to prepare. It was technically a study session (as final exams were nearing) but quality time with him is still quality time. It was…better than nothing. Counting out the times you needed to sleep, you only had a few hundred hours left to spend with him. The thought of it deflated you.

Do you really have to say goodbye?

Would anything change if you do?

>Something has to change! You'd rather try than not try at all!

>But try as you will to change your words and gestures, you couldn't.

>Just what was going on?

>There was nothing that could be changed, past me.

>But...perhaps that person...

"This is my...letter to you."

>If they remember everything...you wondered how they could stay sane in all of this?

Your thoughts about the short time you had left in the Devildom did not change. The comfort of his company, as well as the familiar darkness you had grown to be accustomed to was too…usual to ever be unusual again. Needless to say, your efforts of dissociating with Devildom are put off until the day of your departure. It was regrettable that the numbered hours you had left would have to be dedicated to studying—similar to its human world counterpart, most of what you have learned in the Devildom will never be put to use. The only reason you were even making an effort was because of the demon who will be teaching you in the first place. A small percentage may also be your innate fear of the firstborn and his litanies of scolding, but that paled in comparison to the thought of Barbatos being ever disappointed in you. He was never really vocal about his thoughts, but his actions were such painful reminders of your negligence. Learning to read his stoic expressions had, after all, been a double-edged sword.

*knock knock*

“CamIchomeinw (Can I come in?)”

Heavy, unhurried footsteps; a polite knock, followed by muffled, nearly incomprehensible sentences. The rustling of foil, a crunching sound of what seemed like a generous bite—you smiled as you answered him.

“Sure. The other snacks are on my study table, as promised.”

“Fhanks (Thanks).”

The sixth-born happily gathered up the array of snacks you had laid for him on the table as you continued packing for your study session/sleepover at Barbatos’ estate. He offered you the one open bag of chips in his arms, but you declined.

“Just seeing you eat is making me full.” You meant it in a good way. Beel eats well and eats with appreciation—there were times in your life that you had forgotten to do the same, so seeing him do so made you remember and feel grateful for being able to eat complete meals every day.

“Can you bring me some snacks on your way back?”

“You mean Barbatos’ sweets?”

Beel’s eyes sparkled at your words. He nodded innocently, “You would do that for me?”

You nodded back. “Of course, I will!” Noticing him suddenly frown, you felt concerned. “Is something wrong, Beel?”

Beel had always been very thoughtful and sweet, but even the silence anticipating his answer seemed to stretch more than usual. “We could have all studied together.

…sorry. I know you already made plans with Barbatos. It was selfish of me to say that.”

“No, thank you for thinking of me, Beel.”

“Mhm…he—” Pausing, he looked down at the snacks he had in his arms and shook his head. “Are you happy here? Will you…ever come back?”

“Beel…”

“Sorry I was mean to you before. We all were. But…I promise I will never eat you. Even if you look really tasty.”

“Uhm…thanks?”

It meant a lot coming from Beel, but the statement suddenly came from nowhere so you didn’t really know how to respond.

“…You still have to pack, right? Is there anything I can do for you?”

You shook your head and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m almost done.”

As if something suddenly sprang in his head, he bolted through the door, before returning back to your room in record speed. “I secured the snacks, so I can carry your books for you.”

You couldn’t help it. It was so unexpected but so characteristic of him that the corner of your eyes prickled with your tears. Beel looked genuinely confused when you started to laugh. You felt really warm, and giddy and…appreciated. Before you knew it, you had your arms wrapped around him. A sincere “Thank you,” came out of you. Beel finally understood and hugged you back. “You’re welcome.” He called your name. And when you called his name back, he finally laughed with you—there were many things about Devildom that you’re going to miss, and surely enough…the caring and thoughtful sixth born will be one of them.

“I’ll miss you, Beel.”

So while you were still around, you wanted him to know just that.

“I’ll miss you too.”

With your sincere words to each other hanging in the air, Beel did his best to help you with your books once Barbatos texted you about your coach’s arrival.

“…and good afternoon to you too, Master Beelzebub. Please allow me to take these books out of your commission,” said Barbatos’ attendant as she greeted you at the door. Beel left them on the coffee table along with his brothers’ study materials while you were waiting for her arrival. You felt a little bad at the sight of their notebooks stacked on the same table. He wasn’t lying when he said he was looking forward to studying with you, but you made promises with Barbatos first.

“So…Satan really agreed to teach all of you for the exams?”

Beel shook his head. “He lost a bet with Lucifer. He…” Beel looked at the attendant, worried he was stalling you. “Anyway, don’t keep Barbatos waiting.”

“…”

“Of course it wasn’t your fault!” Beel said, almost too defensively. “I mean it. We’ll be okay, so please have fun out there.”

…is it really a good idea to go?

Shaking your head, you swallowed Beel’s words with hesitancy. “Okay, good luck with studying.”

He refused to elaborate about it, and even went so far as to reassure you, so you pretended for his sake.

You heard him call your name one last time. A shocked expression trailed over the sixth-born’s face as he muttered something about the attendant’s stack of books—but when you asked him what was wrong, he shook his head, offering a smile.

His words be happy, came to you like a whisper. But you weren’t sure if he was the one who said it at all.

It was still really difficult to get used to the stifling formalities of Barbatos’ servants when they welcome you to his estate. At some point in dating him, you found yourself picking up on their mannerisms to offer the bare minimum of what you’d like to think was politeness that you owe them for. Bingeing on Demon Etiquette and their social system in the wee hours of the night in Satan’s library had taught you about nobility and high society—the strange phrases and mannerisms of the demon nobles surrounding him suddenly made more sense; most were polite with you, but others barred their displeasure in sophisms and their multi-layered, backhanded platitudes. Barbatos also talked the same way; it was in learning their ways in secret did you gain a better understanding of him, after all.

Their same, rehearsed lines, their forced smiles—the way they acted towards you reminded you so much of similar experiences you had in the human world.

Even the attendant who carefully placed your books on the coach had been especially polite. But…who really knows what she had felt? Even the Demon Brothers weren’t kind to you at first, and they had been the highest-ranking nobles in demon’s high society. You can only imagine the hostility lurking deep beneath everyone else’s “politeness” .

You felt…strange. The familiar feeling of ambivalence of your impending departure and your lingering attachments to Devildom seemed to remind you of something, but you couldn’t recall where you read it. Something ached in your chest as you tried to remember the specific words, but even the memories of its passages seemed to escape you, so you let the thought go, hoping the pain that came along with it would also disappear.

As your feet guided you to the lavish décor of your lover’s familiar estate, that sense of anxiety could not seem to disappear.

“My, if I knew you would be this upset, I should have stolen you away much earlier.”

“Barbatos!”

You ignored the heavy feeling in your heart and focused on the warmth you felt on your face as he brought his lips to press on the back of your hand. It was a gesture you were familiar with—appropriate for the situation, but you whispered a complaint to his ear that made his smile widen.

“There’s too many people here.”

Barbatos snapped back, eyes filled with mirth. “Really? My employees seem to be in their rightful stations. If anything, I think we are the outliers here, right?”

“Y-Your Grace, we humbly apologise for overstepping—”

He chuckled, his demeanour changing immediately as he faced his servant. “Ease, this is our way of speaking. Could you bring us some refreshments in the study room?”

“Certainly, Your Grace.”

The butler bowed and excused himself to carry out orders for the household staff in the area. Looking around, you couldn’t help but feel bashful.

“He’s only doing his job…”

Barbatos placed a hand on your shoulder for reassurance.

“He is. No one is getting scolded, so don’t worry.”

You looked up at him and smiled back a little. “I need to get used to how to conduct myself in front of them.”

“What’s wrong with the way you are now?”

The door to the study opened, suspending Barbatos’ inquiry—it looked far different from Lucifer’s and had a calming scent. An array of books was stacked on the several shelves near the window, while a collection of tea leaves were neatly organised in the glass cabinets. If Mammon were around, he would be having a field day! Everything looked expensive—even the teacup the maid offered you felt like it cost more than your life’s savings.

“We aren’t strangers here, my love. Relax.” Barbatos dismissed the servants and sat next to you once the double doors closed, making your head rest on his shoulder.

“Has anyone spoken ill of you?”

“No,” you muttered, wrapping your arm around his.

It wasn’t anything like that at all. Rather, the absence of opposition made you even more restless. But, isn’t it such a luxurious worry, only proving the influence of his powers and the rest of the student council members in this realm? Wouldn’t complaining about it seem like you’re fishing for compliments?

“I just…want to get along with everyone.” You were pretty sure some of the people you have spoken with actually did, but it was no use worrying him.

“The exchange program is almost over, and I feel like I haven't been doing my best, is all.” So instead, you let out a less indulgent thought out of your lips. One that wouldn’t cause unnecessary conflicts. Because that’s what you are–and perhaps what you had always been: an example . Only that, as months passed, you became an example that actually mattered .

“You can still prove yourself…” He leaned his cheek at the top of your head, pulling you closer. “Perhaps acing the final exams?”

“Pfft!—”

“Oh, but I believe you can actually do it,”

“In my dreams!”

Barbatos made a sound: a low, drawling hum as you nuzzled on his shoulder. “Satan’s weakness…let’s see. He’s good at curses, but lacks the patience for more intricate spells. Lucifer has impeccable grades, but he is too busy to focus on exam rankings. Solomon isn’t fond of writing things down. And you know how Belphegor can be handled, I trust? If we distract them, you can easily take the top spot.”

HAHAHA!

“Barbatos, you’re killing me!” Why is he taking this so seriously? Is he really considering sabotaging your rivals ? Pfft! You haven’t laughed so much in a while.

“What about yourself? You’re quite the overachiever too, I must say.”

Barbatos looked at you incredulously. “You know I will let you win in a heartbeat.”

“And Lord Diavolo?”

“He would have to let you win and accept defeat…unless he wants to eat pickles for at least 50 years.”

At least? Pfft!

“Poor Diavolo…”

Barbatos made soothing strokes on your back as he heard you sigh. “Are you feeling better?”

“Mmh. Thank you.”

You did not know that Barbatos was capable of joking around, but it was a great new thing to learn about him. It made you feel almost bad for considering goofing off with him when he seemed so genuinely invested to see you succeed. So despite your better judgement, you took studying more seriously and even answered your copy of the reviewers Satan had for everyone's study camp back in Lamentation.

The questions were quite challenging--you were familiar with the terms in the multiple choices but he had worded it so differently from the instructors' notes that mere memorisation wouldn't ensure you a passing score. Barbatos meanwhile, had already finished answering the questions on his own sheet of paper and leaned over to your side.

"He's quite the Spartan. But I can sympathise with him." He nodded appreciatively. "What's the use of learning without understanding the basics?"

You groaned. "If these are the basics, I dread knowing of the more challenging questions."

"Do you want assistance?" Barbatos asked.

"Yes, please!"

Chuckling, the demon butler looked over the questions and nodded. "Why don't we start with this questio-"

"Wait!"

>What if you will change the cycle's course? Why don't we start here?

"Uhh, Barbato- I mean, Your Grace!"

Barbatos blinked. "Yes?"

Oh shoot. You really need to think things through! The time warps are doing a number on you. You guided his hands to another item at the questionnaire and shouted. "I actually want to start with this question!"

An unbreakable bond between two parties that binds the soul under certain conditions.

A. Contract 🔑B. Pact C. Marriage D. Servitude

Barbatos looked at you in disbelief. "You couldn't answer this question?"

Of all the questions you can pick at random...why this one?

"Ahahahaha...the options are confusing?"

Yet despite how suspicious you were acting, Barbatos didn't dismiss your obvious lies. "Mhmm. Multiple choice questions can be rather confusing, I agree. Well then, why don't we narrow the options down?"

Phew...nice, Barb! You are lucky to have such an understanding boyfriend! <3

"First, why don't you tell me what similarities you have noticed between these options? What do they have in common?

"I'm sorry, Satan. But I'm plagiarising your explanations, word for word." You thought. You've lived through hundreds of repeats, it almost felt like a chant in your head. And you were sure the fourth-born wouldn't mind.

"They all signify a mutually beneficial relationship. But the degree of the benefits differ vastly..

A contract is a documented bond. Inside it are "terms" that hold that bond together. Once one of those terms are broken, then so does a contract come to be void. As for marriage..." This time, you're taking a book from Solomon.

"So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not. As indicated by that famous Bible verse, marriage is a bond that runs deeper than a contract. It is the union of two people in the eyes of God or a person of authority. You can say that it is an unconditional bond--a bond that binds two souls despite it all."

You felt compelled to look at Barbatos, who seemed absorbed in reading the contents of the questionnaire. He seemed...somewhat sad. You couldn't help but reach out your hand to him.

"My love?"

The flushed expression on his face was lovely.

"I-is something wrong?"

"You looked a little lonely, is all."

Barbatos' eyes widened at your words. "...do I? Pardon me." He stuttered. "I-"

You pressed your lips against his and he closed those worried eyes. As you pulled away, that lonely expression didn't seem to dissipate.

>Could Barbatos know something?

"Your Grace?"

"Yes?"

You pressed your lips on his again at your question: a gesture he welcomed happily.

"Have you ever felt like you're in an endless dream?"

"Dream?" He asked. "What do you mean?"

Come to think of it, this didn't feel like the first time you were asking him this question.

>If this wasn't the first time...then could consulting Barbatos not be the right answer?

>What did the letter sender mean by "being honest" and "talking with him" then?

You shook your head. In any case, the letter sender seemed to know a lot more than he lets on. If "love" is the reason why you're stuck on this endless repeat...

"I'm sorry for asking such a strange question, Barbatos." You smiled. "Please don't worry about it."

Barbatos looked unconvinced, but reneged. He sighed.

Even if he's unaware of the time warps, it did seem like he looked lonelier than usual. Were the others also aware that the days keep on repeating?

"Why don't we take a break? I'll brew us some tea."

It must have been hard for Levi and the others too. You couldn't help but miss them at the thought of your depressing exam question so you opened your DDD while Barbatos was preparing the snacks:

(You have new messages)

>If that was the case...you must find some other way to break the cycle.

>You had a feeling finding "that person" was one of the keys to getting out of here.

>But...who could they be?

"Haha...the chatroom must be going wild right now." The little dings in your DDD notifications seemed neverending.

They should be studying on their end too…right?

Hm? Levi? Why the sticker spams? You opened his message first.

>Either way, it seems like following your usual routine works best.

L3V1

Did you happen to see Simeon's notebook?

You

im not sure...what does it look like?

L3V1

Technological Advancements in the Human World 1111. I was copying the corrections in the notebook yesterday, but I couldn't find it anymore!

You

calm down,,it should be still there if u wer working on it ystrday but…

You

technological advancements...and u chose 2 borrow simeon's notebook?

L3V1

Hehe. Amateur! I knew you would come to that prejudiced conclusion.

Don't you know the importance of a DO/DON'T example?

You

now ur just bragging...I feel bad for simeon.

L3V1

lolololol Think whatever you want, we're both leeches in this dog eat dog world. So be it!

If it means I will be enjoying Ruri-chan's birthday in peace, I'm willing to swallow my pride.

You

u've lost me.

L3V1

It's a white notebook with Simeon's name on the bottom left of the cover. Let me know if you see it!

You

kk. oh yea, how's every1 doin?

L3V1

….

...uuu. now you HAVE to remind me that you are a traitor.

Must be nice hanging out with your boyfriend, huh! Must be fun not being single, huh? Normies like you should explode!

You

levi...we literally just played devilkart ystrday. u promised me ur ok w dis

L3V1

crying demoji.png

With a heavy heart…

You

pfft! well... GL on ur studies

aa! barbatos finished preparing d snacks. ttyl!

(1 new message)

Beelzeburger

Barbatos' snacks?!

hungrydemoji.png

You

Picture.jpeg

Mhm. He's already wrapping up your share as we speak. I'll bring it to you on the way back.

Beelzeburger

Thank you…

toucheddemoji.png

Oh and…

You

Beelzeburger

How are your studies going?

You

Barbatos is such a patient teacher. I'm confident I'll get a high score with his help!

Beelzeburger

... that's good to hear.

I won't be disturbing you anymore.

Satan is starting to look annoyed too so I'll get off my phone.

You

Mhm! See you later, Beel!

END

You didn’t want Satan to get any angrier so you decided to text the others back later.

A few helpings of snacks and tea later and you were back to your study date with Barbatos. He was so thorough yet gentle in the way he explained everything to you, plus the snacks he prepared at every break did wonders in keeping your attention to the lessons. With his guidance, even you were starting to believe you can actually have a chance on acing the exams. He had been very considerate as well, stopping the lessons when he saw a yawn escape you, sometimes telling you stories of Diavolo’s childhood to break the monotony of study guides and modules. Eventually, you were at your last handout for the day; the sudden onslaught of fatigue welcomed you at its conclusion. You stretched your arms and greeted the brighter evernight peeking from the windows with a tired smile.

"Uuuuu, I think if I topple even a little, all of the words and spells in my head will go away…" Barbatos smiled a little at your antics and gestured to his lap. You happily accepted and closed your eyes as you laid there "I'm glad I came here. I think I learned a lot."

Barbatos nodded. "It fills my heart with pride to see you working so hard and getting the results you desired. Now, you deserve some rest."

"If I sleep now…" you couldn't help but let out a yawn. "We wouldn't be able to goof around."

"Oh? Whatever do you mean?" He was really good at pretending to be clueless. If you didn't know him any better, you would have mistaken his teasing as genuine confusion. You held back a smile.

"Do you want a demonstration?" You slowly opened your eyes to meet with his, but you didn't expect the sheer closeness of your faces to each other. His green eyes looked at yours with the same intensity as your shared nights together, that you couldn't help but fold and cover your flustered face with your hands.

"That's cheating, Your Grace."

"Is it?"

"You know how effective that handsome face of yours is to me."

"I'm glad I was born with this face, then."

"..."

"I was promised a demonstration."

He leaned even closer, a mirthful smile looking down at you. "Or...were you only bluffing?"

Oh, this insufferable man!

His knowing smile did not disappear even as you held him by the cheeks and pressed your lips together. Instead, you felt yourself sitting up his lap, feeling his tongue probing in your mouth, searching for those sweet moans that you only let out for him.

"You're so beautiful…" he whispered, tickling your ear and trailing his fingers to the outline of your back, making you shudder at the light strokes of his finger.

He called your name as he wrestled you out of your outer shirt, marking every part of your skin with his kisses.

"My love, my dearest…"

He breathed out, the smile on his face growing only the more. You should have known it was coming: victory couldn't come to you so easily, for you've known true surrender at the whisper of his next words.

"We shall continue once you ace the exams."

…now, don’t look at me like that, dearest. You should be well-rested for tomorrow.” The lips he pressed on your forehead didn’t remove the frown you had on your own.

He can be so stubborn sometimes!

"...I hate you."

What's even more hateful is he's aware of it, and his actions suggested intent. (It did not help too, that such intent, though "malicious" can only be "adorable" in your rose tinted world).

"Rewards should have their proper reinforcements. I'm sure B.F. Skinner would also agree?"

"Will you put a bell around my neck then, Your Grace?" Your attempt of mockery fueled his relentless teasing…

"Darling, that's a different person. And I'm not sure if that's how it goes."...which he deflected with finesse.

You puffed your cheeks and turned away from him.

"I'm tired of studying…"

Barbatos' smile widened the more.

"I'm sorry…" sincerity was the last thing his apology could have meant.

"..."

"You were so adorable, I could not resist."

"..."

"If it helps, I'm also getting a little tired."

"Enough to break some promises?"

"Hold on tightly, my dear."

!!!

Before you knew it, you were in his arms, carried like a princess in a fairytale. If only your dashing Prince weren't such a tease, it would have been a happily ever after.

"Shall we get ready for tomorrow? He asked, carrying you across the room, through the connecting door leading to the familiar satin sheets.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close. “Only if you kiss me goodnight.”

And so he did. Numerously .

And when you complained when he went further, "I thought this will be saved after exams?"

He only flashed a devilish smile.

One thing you wished you knew before involuntarily being signed up to be a Festival committee member is the actual amount of work you need to do. You were envious of your fellow exchange students who seemed to have freer time--yet here you are, not even part of the student council but you are worrying over balance books and collection letters.

The only solace for your headaches was Barbatos' presence, but as final exams neared, and the festival preparations were also nearing its completion,you had been seeing each other less and less.

"Please allow me a little bit of your time." You stiffened at the familiar voice hugging you from behind as you got ready to leave for the day. You heard each other sigh, and you leaned the back of your head against his chest.

"I miss you."

"We saw each other last night." Same old, same old. Your lines were almost tattooed to each other at this point.

You chuckled. "Hardly a meeting if all we do lately is study and sleep together."

Barbatos breathed out, exhausted as well. "I heard Mephistopheles bothered you today."

You grimaced. What utter ignorance you had of the situation didn't deserve such thorough grilling. "I didn't even know why he interviewed me. I didn't know anything about some writer in the human world being murdered. How could I know if I've been stuck here for months?"

Barbatos nuzzled on the crook of your neck, nodding languidly. "I also heard you didn't go alone." His embrace tightened as he continued. “Someone accompanied you?”

You hummed out what seemed like a semblance of a yes , "Satan seemed oddly enthusiastic about it. I didn't know why he tagged along other than him and his penchant for mysteries."

Barbatos sighed in relief. "Oh, so that's what it is…"

You snorted. "How rare. It's cute hearing you get jealous.

He hardly was the jealous type. So it surprised you when your innocent interactions with the fourth born had been its unlikely source. Even he seemed to realise how ridiculous it was.

"Of a feline fanatic who ignored your radiant presence over playing detective?" He chuckled. "It does sound silly when you point it out."

"Thankfully, this is the last time we'll get busy. So no more unexpected interviews too."

There was playfulness in his emerald eyes, one that you immediately caught onto.

You poked his cheek at his expected reply. "...the last time?"

You felt the familiar press of his lips against yours. "Would I get an early prize, Your Grace?"

He laughed as you kissed him back. "My, someone sounds confident."

And whose fault was that? You held back saying, sighing contentedly,

"I learned from the best."

What did it say in that one game you played with Levi some months ago?

>The questions are just too easy.

>Your pen won’t stop moving!

…is studying with the Demon Prince’s butler considered cheating? Was there any favouritism involved in your tutoring sessions?

Barbatos wasn’t that kind of demon. Besides, you worked really hard to study as much as you could, so acknowledging your efforts, even just a little wouldn’t hurt.

There was one question, however that seemed strange:

A fictional form of magic that theorised the possibilities of travelling to parallel universes that do not necessarily share the same plane of existence.

A. Spatial magic B. Time travel 🔑C. Dimensional sorcery D. Teleportation

>Come to think of it, the weird exam question at the end of the paper always seemed to change each time.

>And each time, it seemed like something is guiding you to the correct answer.

>̵̬̤̟̞̲̍͂͆̉̄̓̈́̒̂̍͝Ŗ̶͇̼͉̬̭̜̭̫͖̞̿͂͋̇̿̚a̷͔͕̔́ṫ̶̳̯̐̃̊̅̉͛̄̒̍̓̕ḣ̸̢̛̰̻̙̳͍̣̱̤̪͚̺͉̓̾ͅe̶̼͈̤̪̳̼̟̤̻̎̔̈̎͑̏̈́̈̓̅͊͠r̷̡̥̣̙̮̤̬̭̱̣̪̥̱̹̯͗̏̂̅̒͘ ̶̦͉̭̞͔̰̤͖̱̜̼̩̯̏̈́̂̂̒̋̑̍̕̚͠ͅt̶̲̭̱̦͉̠͔͍̬̻̮͎̼͙̜̃̐̏̚h̸̛̳͆̐̿͗͌̓͛̓̕͝͝a̵̢̨̹̮̗̼̼̳̳̿̍̐̌̽̕͠͝n̵̢̛̮̈́̇̽̄͛͒̈́͐̚͘͝͝͝ ̵̭͙̠̊̅̈́̉̄͠ā̶̢̧̨̘̠̟̫̠͔̙̯̞̺̈́͗̄̕͘ ̷̢̣̺̮͛̿̓͆̊̓̾̓̆͐͝͝ķ̷͙̥̝̣̳̮͋̌̃̈̅̈́̈́͆͋̆̋͐̄ͅę̴̱̪͕͈̱̭̝͗͑y̴̜̯͓͕̺̗̺̗̝͓̤͑̅̌̈́̒͠.̴̢̙̝̳̼͓̲̹̼̙̏̊͌̎̇̔̑̄̉͆.̸̨̢̨̲͈̠̞̘̗̾̿͗̒̅.̵̪̰̘̲̈͋͊̏̾̓͛ĭ̸̡̛͎̪̦͔͕̳̱͚͑̐̔͆͊̍͆͊̋t̷̨̡̝͇̥͇̻̩̣̫̤̅̿̈́̄̇͜ ̷̧͈̼͓͕͓̓̽͠l̶̛̛̛̫̻̫͒̈́̅͑͂́̀̌͘ọ̷͙̳̤͓̬͖̘͉̻͊̾͐̈̐̓o̸͈̣̮̻̫̖̫̽̌̍͋́͋͛̚͝k̴͇̤̬̦̣̓̇̈́͌̃̈̈́̄̔̑̕s̸̡̛̯͈͍͔̩̯̬̮̤̼͎͚̼͋̌̇͒̋̑̌̉̾͘ ̵̢͎̺̤̱͈͎̎̇͑̈́̅̅̾̂̈́̿̽́͠ͅl̷̤͖͍̝̝͎̣̮̘̻̽̓̂̎͊̐̒̿̅̈́͆̚͘i̵͓͈̎̏͑̄͋̈́̆̽̕̚͠ķ̷̨̢̮̯͍͕̝͍̺̱̗̳̏̋̉ē̶̢̡͇͐̕ͅ ̴̧͖̮͍͙͓̻͖̜͛̂̂̇̌̔͊̕̕͠a̷͇̪̔͛̎̌̌̄ ̴̨̣̯̺͚̣̒̽͒̅͒̽̓̚b̵̜̪̺̩̥͖͕̙̮͈̓̏́̆̐͋͜ͅô̸̥̗̯͈̭̘̼͕̲̬͍̆̓̊̄̐̆̏͂̚o̵̢̰̅͆̅̄̈́̐̓̚͜͝k̷̡̢̙̙̭̟͎̥̟͎̤̞̏̂̃̒̏̽͑̈́̄̀̇͑̚.̴̢̯͕͓̩̞̳̪̲̙̮̊͌͛̃͛̆́̀̒̽̄̕͠͠

"̶̯̠̅T̴̡͈͎͎͌͋̽̓h̵̺̰͈͊̽ẻ̴̡̜͇̞̊͂̊ ̴̧̦̏d̵͙͔̤̙̄̐̈́ȏ̴̳̻͓̉͌o̸͈̱̕͝r̵̖̦̤̹̔̓͊ ̶̯̘̄́t̸̨̠̀̃̚ŏ̷͉͕̦͒̚ ̷̧͝͝h̴̨̙̗͊̍i̶̤͓͓̓s̸̠͗̋͠ ̵̥̫̺̌ͅh̶͙̒̿͋̕ȇ̴̹̤̩̓̔̈́ạ̷̜͍͌ř̸̟̈́̋̈́ͅt̵͉̽̇͛͘ ̴̮̊͘h̷̬̟͔̿ȁ̶͔̄͊d̸͎͛̚͝ ̵̢̹͚̹̂̎͑͋b̷̬͓͈̗͝ë̷͔̥̿͘͝e̶̹̗͗ň̵͔͚͕̍͝ ̷̞̔̽̚t̶̡̗͓̺̽ĭ̶͓͗g̶̫͐͗͝h̸͍͓̾t̴͇͖̄l̸͇͉͒ẏ̴̳̤͔͂͋̈́ ̷̢̼̦̔̕ͅs̷͇̣̔̋̏͝h̴̨͉̹͎̄̋͝ụ̴̈̔ṱ̷̦̥͐͋̾.̸͙̻ ̵̬̾̑͆͛Ọ̶̢̿b̶̦̜̰̌̓̓̒t̷̢͍̍̇̊̉a̶͚̙̘̙̔̋̀͝ȋ̷̲̺̈͋̾ņ̴̰̤̕͘ ̸̮͕͓̑t̸̛͓̝͇̭́̌͌h̷͍͋ͅë̶̝̫́̌̑͒ ̷͊̒͜k̷͓̽̆̌ë̵͓͙́̈̐ͅy̴̦͓͓̏̌́̈ ̶͔̖͊a̶̯̤̠͆̈̎n̵̝͋̔ḑ̶̼͆̈́̓ ̸̛̯͍̚▇̴̰̥͗͜▇̶̠̞̓̔͘▇̷̠̥͊̓̐▇̷̧̢͕͆͂̌▇̸̞̤̏͑̌̚▇̸͓͗"̶̭̄̍̊

>Key?

>...your head hurts.

You decided to focus on the option that seemed to be the correct one and circled it.

"Dimensional sorcery?"

Where did you hear that before? Ah...you remembered Lucifer passionately arguing over its actual existence with Diavolo. The whole idea of it was absurd--you couldn't blame the usually open-minded Demon Prince having some reservations.

"A magic that can let anyone travel parallel worlds. Even ones that are from a different dimension." If such a magic actually exists, then Levi would have been all over it, being its most dedicated researcher. Oh, you could hear him now: "If finding out the perfect mathematical formula would get me closer to my Ruri-chan, then it's worth every sacrifice!"

"A magic that can let you meet someone you aren't supposed to meet..." Somehow, the thought of it made you sad.

You had a feeling that anyone capable of wielding dimensional sorcery wouldn't be truly happy.

Something that sounded so good on paper would have its consequences after all. To live in a dream, one must endure many nightmares first.

If that's the case. Aren't you more than qualified for one sweet dream after all these timeloops?

You nodded. Now that the exam was over, you thought it was good to get some rest. You decided not to ask Asmo about the test question this time around. It seemed like you were the only one who could see them after all.

"I just want to forget about how long it was. It was exhausting to answer."

“That makes two of us, honey.” The fifth-born rested on your shoulder. “I would have to take a rain check on our shopping date later. I’m sure Your Grace would love to pick an outfit for you at the festival ball.”

“You worked hard…” Organising a ball in just a few weeks isn’t an easy feat. Asmo had to fight tooth and nail to get his proposal approved(mostly with Satan, who was very much in favour of the chat themed bonfire dance initially planned as a conclusion for the semester), and even had to employ help from students outside the festival committee to make it happen. It wasn’t until they’re almost finished with its preparations did the rest of the committee members got wind of it. Meaning, you as well.

“I can’t wait to see you tonight, darling! I’m sure you would look amazing!”

“It means a lot if it’s coming from you.” Ever since the beginning, Asmo was one of the few demons who showed you sincerity. And while it wasn’t the kind of sincerity one would expect to bud into friendship, the way he and you now…

“Darling?”

>…you’re tired.

>Oh, if you were tired then, past self. Then the current you is EXHAUSTED.

“Is something wrong?” He called your name worriedly and you shook your head. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him and sighed contentedly. “It just occurred to me that this is probably the last time you’re going to be my seatmate.”

“Awww, I’m going to miss you too!”

The faint scent of roses coming from Asmo seemed oddly out of place. You were sure he preferred his favourite perfumery’s devil camellia collection, and even recalled its faint sweetness as you were in embrace.

>500..

>That's right. This is the 500th time the days had repeated like this.

>...had it really been going on for this long?

You shook away the thought and closed your eyes.

“Done with exams?”

“Barbatos!”

Asmo couldn’t help his smile as your eyes followed Barbatos’ figure. “Shopping plans are cancelled, your Grace. ”

Barbatos smiled back. “Is that so? Well, you do deserve to get as much rest as you could before the ball.”

The demon butler then turned to you. “Ready to leave?”

🔑[ use KEY (partial) ]

>(overruled. unknown command cannot be executed)

“Actually, no. I just need to get something, can you wait for me here?”

>Letter sender...please show up this time as well!

The sudden pressure from your wrist made you wince. And Barbatos seemed quite surprised at his sudden gesture as well, for what came afterwards were his numerous apologies. "Sorry, why don't I go with you?"

🔑[ use KEY (partial) ]

>(overruled. unknown command cannot be executed)

>And this time, PLEASE SIGN YOUR NAME!

"It's quite a long walk from here. I think it's better if we meet outside."

Barbatos looked reluctant to let you go. He was about to speak when you saw the fifth-born link his arms with him.

"They're right!" Asmo chimed in. "The shop with the cute party clothes I told them about would close soon. Why don't I tell you about their latest collections while waiting for them?"

"But…"

"I won't take long. I promise!"

What was he so worried about? That you would get locked in? Again?

On second thought...that is a lot to worry about. Especially if it already happened twice.

Well...there was that one time, where you actually spent the night in a cold, empty classroom. The Demon Prince apologised to you personally for it the next day, even though it was not his fault. It was a cruel prank by some former classmates(who are expelled now, not to anyone's surprise), and happened before the tragic events in the attic and--

...you didn't realise you were holding your breath. You instinctively felt your neck and breathed out a sigh of relief when you didn't feel any pain.

Come to think of it…

...you should have been a lot more afraid that time. Ghosts lurked about RAD and ghoulish noises and paranormal activity are a common occurrence you had accustomed yourself to over the months. So...why can't you ever remember being afraid around that time?

And why…

…your chest hurts. Try as you will to remember what happened back then, all you could seem to recall was the day after the incident.

"Hah...we're...finally...here!"

Much to your disappointment, no one was there.

>Next time, you should go earlier. But how?

>Your body always seemed to move on its own. You couldn't predict when you are able to actually change the course of the cycle. If not...for that "KEY"...you would have been here for worse.

>There were so much questions to answer more than answers themselves + you also had to operate on such a limited timeframe! Needless thoughts would get you nowhere!

You hastily opened your locker to retrieve the fancy, black gloves that Lucifer gifted you for your first three months in the exchange program. You never dared to use it--just a glance and you knew it was way more expensive than anything you ever owned in your life. Lucifer did not quite understand why you're being so careful with it, gaining sympathy only from the fifth-born who understandably, had the same thought process as you due to his penchant for fashion.

You carefully placed it back in the box that it came with, and put it in your bag, checking the time.

...20 more minutes before RAD closes. You better hurry.

"Where is it?"

That faint pink colour...that elegant cursive that gave you kind yet vague reminders. You scoured through your locker's contents until finally chanced upon it.

It said "Open me" with a small, handwritten note that said, "Don't let anyone else see."

"Sender...you're so diligent. Thank you..." It was silly to thank someone who wasn't there, but you suddenly felt overflowing gratitude for that person that you couldn't help it!

~500~

This is my 500th letter to you. Can you believe it? 500 is such a huge number, but here we are.

>Oh boy, where do you even start? Have you come to remember even just a little bit of what is happening? If you did, then let me tell you: You looked at him and said his name for 108,192 times. 4,987th of that time, you tried to tell him of your wish to not leave, and the remaining 103, 200th, you did not say anything at all. How did I know all of this?

>Right. How did they? It's almost creepy. Then again, it would be even weirder if this person didn't lose a few screws in the head after remembering every repeat. Because I don't. I didn't even sum all the numbers up correctly. Who would keep track of such things? That's not my point.

>This little rascal! Aren't you a little frustrated with yourself? You're trying your best, that I know, but your words couldn't seem to reach him. Does he know?

>Know? Know of what? ...I'm sorry. If you need my help, just call my name.

...It was unsigned. Again.

"@#&$&!"

You wanted to shake this person by the collar and tell them not to say contradicting things. First of all, how can you call their name if they left the letter unsigned? Second of all, why did this person assume your feelings when it seemed like they were the one losing their patience?

As indicated in the postscript, the letter immediately burned by itself as you finished reading it. Not even ashes of it remained---as if it never existed in the first place.

10 minutes left .

You thought about the letter you read as you made your way outside of RAD.

"Thanks for nothing, sender!"

"Sender?

Is everything okay?"

"Who would keep track of such things?"

"I want to kill them..."

"Eh?"

"I meant, I want to kill it in the dance floor!" Or maybe even kill yourself...because that's what you feel right now from saying such a flimsy excuse!

"Besides...I finally got what I wanted!" You showed him the paper bag containing the ridiculously expensive gloves you got from Lucifer, and Barbatos smiled.

"Ah, I remember this one. I was the one who recommended this brand to him." Huh, you didn't know that.

"I'm assuming you're going to match these gloves for your party attire tonight?"

"Yes!"

"Excellent. Perhaps we should also match for tonight?"

It dawned on you that agreeing would be practically announcing to the entire school that you're dating each other. You heard Barbatos laugh as you felt the heat on your cheeks grow warmer.

"Maybe black with green?"

"Yeah…"

"And my love?"

"Hm?"

He kissed your hands and looked at you worriedly. "Please do not hesitate to complain when it gets too unbearable for you. I shall nurse you back to health to the best of my abilities."

It was like Cinderella. But there was no fairy godmother. Instead, a grumpy demon(Lucifer) led you to your Prince with a pair of gloves. And you were too frugal to even consider the thought of forgetting the other half of its pair. It was love found in Devildom's version of capitalism. How romantic.

"Pfft!"

"This is no joking matter! Your health is of utmost priority!"

Oh, Your Grace. You never change.

Even for the 232nd repeat, his scrupulous way of caring for you was always sincere.

That's why...

...it's so hard to say goodbye.

...it was hard to force yourself to be light-hearted with the many pairs of eyes peering over at you as you made your entrance. Demons, angels and otherrealm residents alike lined up in pairs as they handed over their invitation to the receptionists, guided inside to the Royal Castle ballroom; the very venue that Asmodeus fought so hard to get approved(Lucifer had been a formidable opponent!).

Contrary to your expectations, the decorations weren't as lavish as your bombastic friend's usual tastes.

"You look gorgeous."

Barbatos was in his usual butler garb, as he was not quite yet done with his task as a receptionist for the evening. He accepted your invitation with a smile. "I'm almost embarrassed I haven't made much effort with my appearance tonight. I even made you match with me."

"You look like your usual handsome self, Your Grace."

Barbatos looked lovely with a little flush on his face.

"Go on ahead, you lovebirds. We'll take care of the rest." Said one of the volunteers. You recognised her as one of Asmo's most loyal fans.

"But, my task-"

"And leave your lovely companion to themself? Someone might steal them away, you know."

You saw a slight change in Barbatos' expressions at the mention of you being stolen away. You held back a laugh.

"There's other people in line, Your Grace."

Satan was looking more and more annoyed as the line was held back and a hungry Beel had eaten half of his corsage. Most of the brothers were done with their part with the festival committee and the ball was meant to be their respite, as you are. But it looked like, on Satan's part at least, it had not been the case.

Barbatos cleared his throat and expressed his desire to not be the cause of such inconvenience any further. So, despite his unwavering sense of duty,he left his post and went inside the venue with you.

"It looks like it's already starting." He said, looking around the dancing crowd. Muted in the background was Requiem from Nausicaa (clearly a result of Leviathan's own battles with the student council board). A hand was extended to you as the song came to its end, replaced with another orchestral arrangement of a Ghibli song (you can't recall the name, but you knew it was from Spirited Away). It was Barbatos' familiar, gloved hand; he was looking at you with a smile.

"Shall we dance, my dear?"

Who were you to turn him down? You accepted his hand with a smile.

“You look absolutely radiant tonight, my love.” He whispered on your ear as he reached for your other hand, masking the lips he pressed on your cheek with one fluid motion:

“An eyelash fell,” he said, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“Nicely done, Your Grace.” You remarked sardonically.

“I’m merely a demon of opportunities,” He replied without a hint of guilt or embarrassment. “I wouldn’t be Your Grace if I couldn’t do as much.”

“What an exemplary lord you are!”

“A certain person by my side inspires me to give it my best, is all.”

His laugh was lovely when you glanced at each of your “sides.” “Quite a number of persons you love, Your Grace. Is this the infamous noblesse oblige I keep hearing about?”

“Partly, yes. But…”

You had anticipated the hands snaking around your waist, as well as the inevitable closeness a dip would entail at the second interlude, yet your heart still drummed erratically on your chest as he delayed the words you are also accustomed to hearing by now.

“...I am a very biassed demon, quite terribly so.” The soft voice whispering in your ear had been the final nail in the coffin. The dance had ended, but you found it difficult to look him in the eye. So now, you were covering your face with both your hands in an attempt to cool your face down.

Thankfully, he had been a true practitioner of noblesse oblige and left you alone. “Would you like some drinks? You must be tired.”

Nodding, you answered. “Something cold would be nice.” He had been a gentleman and led you to one of the private resting areas before he retrieved your drinks. The soft plush of the velvet chairs lessened the soreness you felt, and you leaned over the headrest with a satisfied sigh. Asmo really outdid him-

“...a passing entertainment. Aren’t the elite fond of exotic pets these days?”

“?”

It was awfully loud outside your resting area. Even with a considerably thick wall of curtains barricading you between the group of voices, their voices were still audible.

“Isn’t the human so full of themself? So what if they have pacts with the seven lords? They think they’re so special?”

“Shh! Not so loud! What if Lord Barbatos hears you?”

“I can be as loud as I want! It’s not like they can hear me over them getting so full of themselves.”

“Hahahahaha!”

>Your head hurts

“She’s just some foreigner His Majesty took fancy on. Once he grows tired of her "exotic" looks, he will throw her away.”

“She doesn’t even know how to respect the rules of the harem...wouldn’t her heresy lead him astray?”

“@#%$&$^...”

“@&$$*%...”

>Hurts…everything hurts…

“How lively. May I join your riveting discussion, everyone?”

“You-”

“Yes, me. Hello!”

“...Tch. Whatever. It’s a waste arguing with him . Let’s just leave.”

“Argue? Why, we haven’t even spoken a single word of discourse. What’s with the prejudice, my friends?”

…

….

…

“Hey, are you there?”

!!!

That voice-

“...they were being loud on purpose. It seems like they followed you here. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. It was a little hard to talk right now, what with the snot on your face, but his awkward apology made you laugh. How could he apologise for something he couldn’t even control?

“Barbatos got caught up in a little…squabble. But he will be here soon.”

“Did he send you here? To tell me that?”

He didn’t reply for a while. The silence stretched as you anticipated his answer.

“...no.” Only for a short response. He didn’t elaborate any further.

>You knew at this point that something about you caught the attention of everyone. If Solomon won't provide you an answer...then your best bet is to leave the resting area.

“...does everyone really think of us that way, Solomon? Or is it just me?”

“...”

“I didn’t choose to be here, you know.”

“...I know.” You heard his clothes rustling by the curtains. “They don’t have any idea what they’re talking about, if that helps.”

“A little.”

He laughed, and you heard him call your name by the other side. "I try my best," he said. Perhaps he sensed that you were crying and is keeping his comfortable distance as usual. Either way, you felt relieved.

“To answer your previous question, it had been…difficult for me as well.”

“I see…”

“Have you ever wondered why I act the way I am?”

You blinked your eyes, surprised he was suddenly being so open to you. His answer as well had been a little surprising. So even the most powerful sorcerer has his difficulties. “Sometimes…?”

You can practically see him smiling that usual, close-eyed smile as he answered you. “When in Devildom, do as demons do.”

“Not vague at all, Solomon.”

“I merely meant that giving those demons a taste of their own medicine once in a while isn’t so bad.” His voice had grown softer. “A pact…is an unbreakable bond. Once you are sworn under it, no matter where or when, the other end of the bond would recognise the other they had been tied to.”

“Like marriage?”

“...that’s a good one!” He laughed, unable to form coherent sentences as you heard him catch his breath. “Mhm. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

“Matthew, right?”

“Is it?” Solomon asked. “I don’t remember.”

“Then why do you know it word for word?”

“Seeing as you’re answering me quite enthusiastically, I assume you’re feeling better?”

Oh. You were talking so much with him that you forgot. “Yeah. Thank you…for sticking around.”

This was probably the longest conversation you ever had with him. He was usually so preoccupied with some crazy experiment or pestering Lucifer over a pact. You didn’t think he would actually go out of his way to defend you and make you feel better.

“I’m just happy to help.”

…nor did you expect him to say such words without any meaning behind them. It was genuine, even if you couldn’t tell what he looked like right now besides the silhouette behind the curtains. You just…felt it. “Maybe I was wrong about you.”

He didn’t reply right away, but you heard him chuckle. “Goodby-"

"Hey Solomon?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going back to the ballroom?"

You got out of the resting area and saw his familiar figure ponder over your words.

"Do you need an escort? Is that your way of inviting me?"

For some reason, his tone reminded you of the wisecrack of a letter sender and you couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"What if I am? Are you that impolite to turn me down?"

He looked surprised at your outburst. Almost shameful.

"Oh...I didn't mean to offend. I was just genuinely curious."

"Do you have somewhere else to go?"

As usual, his smiles didn't give anything at all.

"I can always make time for you." He offered his gloved hand to you and made a close-eyed smile. "Shall we?"

And you took his hand that seemed to tremble a little as you held it firmly.

Despite how he usually is, he seemed almost nervous at the contact. But his expressions didn't change at all so you always seemed to misunderstand him. Either way, Solomon was one confusing man.

"I've come to send your dearest one, Your Grace." Solomon let go of your hand and offered a playful bow. "Please excuse me."

"Wai-"

...you didn't even get a chance to thank him and he already left.

"̷I̶t̷'̵s̷ ̵a̷ ̵s̶u̸r̷p̵r̵i̵s̸e̷ ̵t̸o̷ ̵s̸e̶e̵ ̴y̶o̵u̶ ̶h̷e̶r̶e̵,̵ ̵m̷y̸ ̸d̴e̷a̸r̴.̶"̷

"Oh, it's because-"

>!!!!

"Did you get bored waiting for me?"

"Dear?"

What was that? Barbatos looked a little different earlier. Had you imagined it? And what was that malicious energy you felt just now?

"You're deathly pale. Is everything all right?"

But he was looking at you with the same gentle expressions as usual. That's right. That was your Barbatos. He would never look at you that way, it was almost impossible to imagine.

You had been mentally exhausted by the time loops anyway and you weren't at your best self. You couldn't be scared of him.

You shouldn't...

If he knew that you were, he would beat himself up over it. That's how he had always been. You had such a short time left with him that you didn't want to spend the rest of it in conflict.

But...

[ Bring up the strange exam questions ]

( If you choose not to bring the question up, then please continue reading. )

What if that is the way to "end" it all? Didn't the sender say to be honest with Barbatos?

"Barbatos..."

What should you do?

"̴̲̑Ẅ̶͉i̵̜͠l̸͙̍ḽ̸̈ ̴̮̿y̵̤̔o̵̤̓u̷͈͆ ̷̯́d̸͖̓i̴̎ͅẹ̸͛ ̷̬͝f̶͉͋o̷͚r̶͎̕ ̸̤͒m̸̫y̶̬̚ ̶̻̍s̴̲̚ă̷͎k̸͈̄e̴̢͝?̵̧̄"̸̖̿ ̵̻͋

For some reason, you really wanted to hug him right now. Even if it costs being the spectacle of the evening....

!!!

Suddenly, Solomon's words finally made sense. You laughed a little to yourself at the realisation.

"Is something wrong?"

Oh, where could you even begin? His deep emerald eyes looked worriedly over you, yet even with your sudden gestures, he immediately reciprocated.

“Did something happen?” You tightened the embrace, but it did not lighten the burden you felt in your heart.

“Barbatos?”

You called him, burying your face on his chest.

“...I love you.”

“...so something happened.”

His hold became firmer as he settled you both on the sofa, making you rest on his chest as he stroked your head. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"Can I ask you something, Your Grace?"

He leaned over to you to hear you better. "Anything for you, my love."

Is there a future for the both of us?

Will you remember me when I'm gone?

Endless worries over the future. The fear of being nothing but an example that mattered over the short course of time the exchange program took place.

Was Barbatos having the same worries? Could that be what the sender meant?

"What will happen to us once the exchange program is over?"

Barbatos' eyes widened at your question. He seemed to be considering your words carefully. He pulled away from you and held your hand.

"Can we go back to the resting area and talk about this?"

Nodding, you squeezed his hand back.

The muted orchestra in the background…Barbatos' gentle hand on your own: everything suddenly seemed so crystal clear.

"This is my 500th letter to you…"

You wondered why that person's penned words seemed vivid to you all of a sudden. You were so annoyed by them when you read their letter earlier. But...if they had been trying to tell you to do this with Barbatos all this time and it took you 500 repeats to get the message, you felt like that person had every right to lash out on you.

"I'm sorry for being so dense, sender..."

Dreams…now wouldn't that be nice?

Perhaps in your dreams, there wouldn't be a need to say goodbye. The three realms lived in peace, and maybe even their dear sister Lilith was alive. Lucifer wouldn't be so tired. Mammon would be more honest with himself. Levi would have more confidence. Satan would be more patient. Asmo would learn to accept genuine love from others. Beel wouldn't seem sad when he glances at the corridor where a certain room once was. Belphie would smile more.

And in that dream, even if nothing was broken, you will still belong somewhere. Barbatos would be waiting for you with a warm smile. You would go back and forth in the human world and learn more about each other. You look forward to such a future…where you weren't merely an example but a choice. A choice he went out of his way to choose.

Even if it's not real…even if it's fleeting and filled with lies.

You think…

[ “I’m fine with even just a sweet dream.” ]

>Why...what did you do wrong this time?

>Why is everything just repeating again?

>Weren't you able to talk with Barbatos?

>Or are you missing something else?

>I'm sorry, "sender".

>I failed again.

**notes: some text screenshots are transcribed into text due to picture limits and have no bearing in the story

💌masterlist

💌 tag request: @krussyfed, @lilliansstuff , @cupsof-tea

💌barbatos CG by: airin(twitter)

#psisly #hamartia series #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me fic #interactive fiction #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me barbatos #obey me barbatos x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me author #obey me author x reader #love letter #secret admirer

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