#please never stop going around as much as you're doing these days i missed you you bastards

[shoyudon]

dad!choso is on my mind. he’d be the sweetest husband/father to-be. i just know he’d hold our hand the entire time and say things like “i wish i could take this pain away from you.”

𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘 .ᐟ

keeping up with the choso family

starring. choso x fem! reader

heads up. pregnancy, giving birth, you're in you're 20s during shibuya (around nanami's age), all information are from research.

note. NONNIE, FIRST OF ALL YES. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS??? i just know he'd cry during every one of these moments, i'm gonna sob, i miss him so much.

the first time choso met you, he didn't know you'd be his life companion. pushing aside at the fact that you both were enemies at first, being a jujutsu sorcerer assigned to shibuya wasn't really the best circumstances for first meetings — which practically didn't happen smoothly.

long story short, he actually hurts you with his blood manipulation. not enough to kill you, but enough to consider it a 'medical emergency'. he is really sorry about it though; when he saw you protect yuuji despite your injuries, he just knew he had to have you.

choso made it clear that he regretted hurting you — especially when his technique left a scar on your skin. specifically on your shoulder, and your lower abdomen. occasionally pressing his lips onto your scars, the vivid drawings of your stitches still embedded into your skin.

"'m sorry . . ." choso whispers out into your skin, burying his face into your stomach as you both lay down on the bed. once again, he was feeling apologetic for hurting you more than a year ago. every day after shibuya, he was busy apologizing to you for hurting you.

"cho, that was what . . ? more than a year ago? you need to stop apologizing, baby," raking your fingers through his hair, he sighs out in content, leaning his cheek onto your stomach — his arms draped around your thighs.

when he asks you to marry him, he subconsciously did it because he panicked. choso had it all planned for a whole month, and managed to ruin it in three minutes on the day he was going to propose to you because you were just so captivating, he just lost all senses of everything he practiced.

"please, marry me," choso blurts out, his mind going one hundred miles per second — he wasn't even sure if he was conscious at that point, "i love you so much and i can't think of my life without you, please marry me," he whispers, squeezing your hand gently.

choso actually got help from everyone on what to say and what to do, which all went down to drain when he decided to use his heart to propose to you. and it worked out well anyways, "seriously? i'm gonna cry," you fanned your eyes.

believe me when i said that choso was on the edge of his seat, waiting for your answer. when you exclaimed out a happy and tearful, "yes!", he could finally breathe out in relief, raising your hand up to his lips in happiness, slipping the ring he even forgot for a second.

choso actually told himself that he wouldn't cry during his own wedding. months before the reception — he finds himself watching wedding videos and happily kicking his feet at the sight of the groom crying, he believed he wouldn't, because he's seen you everyday. right? right?

wrong. the moment the tall doors opened and there you started walking down the aisle slowly, choso felt overwhelmed at the fact that he was getting married to you, and you were getting married to him. he swore if it wasn't for yuuji, he would be laying down in front of the whole guest list, crying on the ground.

he stood there, instinctively wiping his tears — that were never-ending, and god, you looked so beautiful that all he could see was you. choso felt like it was just you and him at that moment, no guest, no yuuji, just you.

after the ceremony, choso just wanted to go back home and if it weren't for you telling him to wait until everyone goes home, he'd technically kidnap his own wife and bring her back to their home. with a pout and a long face, he greets the guest with you, hand in yours like a little child who didn't get what they want.

"can we go back home now? my legs are killing me," he whispers, squeezing your hand, tugging you towards him, "jus' leave them, they're eating the night away . . ."

"let's wait until everyone goes home, okay?" you tell him. almost wanting to laugh at the sight of his fake offended gasp right after, choso didn't complain anyways — nodding his head as you tugged him towards a group of people to greet them.

when you both got home after a long day, choso immediately headed for the bedroom, tossing himself onto the bed, white shirt wrinkled and his tie messily pulled towards one side. eyelids half closed.

"cho, you know you have to shower before you sleep. you stink."

"mmm . . . wanna sleep," he moans out into the pillow, reaching his hand out to you in an attempt to bring you onto the bed, which did not work since you were too busy wiping off your makeup, "can't we just shower tomorrow? 'm so tired."

choso's never really thought about having kids. he didn't know how to take care of kids, nor how to react with kids. for some reason, the universe though — seemed to have bless him with a wave of "baby fever" one and a half year into the marriage. watching videos of random babies from all over the world doing baby things, and he felt his heart flutter at the sight.

that was when he knew, he wanted a family with you. technically, the two of you were already a family the moment you both got married — but he wanted an addition to your small family. a child.

he didn't really know how to break the fact that he wanted a baby with you, and so he tried subtle ways to do so. showing you baby videos, telling you how cute your kids would be, even pointing at baby shoes or onesies when you both go out.

by that point, you'd caught on to his little scheme, "why're you talking about kids a lot? baby shoes, baby onesies, baby videos, baby this, baby that," you informed him, threading your fingers through his hair as he laid his head on your lap.

"wan' a baby."

so when you broke the news that you were bearing his child, he cried. and by cry — i mean bawled out like a baby. clinging to you, overwhelmed at the fact that he was going to have a child with you, he was actually going to have a little family of his own.

just a few days after the news, he'd grown a lot more protective of your wellbeing. asking here and there about what you could and couldn't eat, or what might harm the growing baby inside you. searching here and there.

during your first trimester, more precisely, during your fifth week; the cravings began getting heavy and wonky. despite all that, choso still indulged in your cravings. hell, he even had to try some because he couldn't say no to you when you tried to share with him.

peanut butter and salmon sashimi, pickle juice with honey, cream cheese and fried chicken, ramen soup popsicles, bacon and toothpaste, milk and ramen seasoning, and more of those odd combinations. choso never did complain even once, if you wanted to eat something at three am, he'd run out and go find some no matter what — you were carrying his child, and he figured that was the least he could do for you.

"taste good, baby?" choso asks you, swiping his fingertips over the cream cheese spread on the corner of your lips.

nodding vigorously, you brought the half-eaten fried chicken messily dipped in the thick and white cream cheese spread — eyes shining brightly, as if asking him to try some with you. blinking in surprise, he took a bite. definitely a weird experience for him, and it was one of the oddest combination of food he had ever tried.

"'ts funny, but it's not bad," he swallowed after chewing the chicken a few times; reaching for the glass of water by the nightstand.

throughout your pregnancy, choso made sure to spoil you with a lot of things. the doll you looked at for a split second while the both of you ventured into the mall, the food he sees you browsing through his phone or your phone, tucking you in bed using the pillow he bought for pregnant women, and the feet massages for you everyday.

"where are you going?" choso asks, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. the dark spots under his eyes were getting darker every time — it was obvious the changes in his life had made it, but choso was more than enlightened to do it for you.

"want to drink," you whisper, letting out a cute incoherent noise as you tried to roll off the mattress.

choso was quick to hold you back, tucking you inside the bundle of covers, "i'll get it for you, stay here, okay?" he whispers, hopping off the bed to fetch you a glass of water — choso didn't want to keep you waiting, running off to the kitchen and fetching you a glass of water topped with a lot of ice cubes; something he noticed you'd chew on a lot ever since you got pregnant.

"here you go," he walks back carefully, handing you the water, pinching the skin on your nap gently as he watches you gobble the water down, parting your lips to pop in an ice cube or two.

nearing your due date, specifically just a few days after the 37th week — the contractions started. it was the ninth month, and it was expected. choso heard your hushed whimpers in his sleep, he would probably guess it was at dawn, probably around four? he didn't even bother checking on the time because all he cared was you.

he was barely awake, kicking off the covers and helping you. ushering you to slowly breathe in and out, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the hollow of your back. choso figured that he wanted you and the unborn child to be safe, and so he decided to bring you to the hospital where the experts are.

choso was worried beyond anyone else; even you. constantly staying by your side, his hair disheveled; a few strands going the opposite way, and tangled with each other. he laid his head down on the mattress, by your hand. choso laid his hand on your belly, rubbing against the cloth gently to ease the pain from the contractions.

at the early stage of labor, you were feeling cramps and an intense backache — which choso helped you through. he was glad he brought you to the hospital because not long after, your water broke. and he was there to help you through it all, clutching onto your hand as if he was holding on for dear life.

everything that the doctors or the nurses do, he felt his heart beat a notch quicker than earlier. choso was afraid, and he wasn't really afraid to admit it — i mean, you're his wife and you were carrying his child. he didn't want anything to happen to the both of you.

choso heard the doctor explain to him about what was going to happen, but everything that came in from his left ear exits through his right. he could barely remember anything because through out the explanation, he was too busy caring for you throughout the contractions that had grew a bit more intense during your active labor.

he hated everything inside the delivery room. it smelt like blood — choso was used to blood. but he didn't like it when it came from you, his heart drumming against his chest as he felt your grip tightened on his hand. frankly, he could care less if he broke a few bones as long as you and the baby were both okay.

choso hated seeing you in pain, even while delivering his baby. he didn't blame the baby, of course; he just wishes he could do something and take away the pain from you, latching his lips onto your sweat painted forehead. salty. he could taste your sweat against his lips, and despite that, he still refused to move.

"wish i could jus' take away the pain away from you, y/n," he whispers — hearing your pained grunt, your eyes glazed with fresh tears. and he kissed them away, whispering sweet nothings into your ears.

telling you it was just a bit more until you could see your baby, how proud he is of you, how much he loves you, how much he wished he could take away your pain, everything he felt in his heart at that moment all poured out into hushed whispers.

when the first cry of your baby echoed inside the rowdy delivery room, choso cried. he looked down at you, cradling your face in his hands, singing out, "good job, good job. 'm so proud of you, i love you so much."

the baby's a beautiful baby boy.

choso didn't want to hold the baby first as much as he wanted to — he felt like you deserved to touch the baby first after risking your life to birth him. and so he told the nurse to let you at least see the baby first, he refused to carry his son until you, his wife, touched him first; whether using your hands or any part of your body.

he stared in awe when the baby's loud cry eventually stopped when the nurse brought him to you, letting you coo at your own newborn son. his tears freely dropping, rubbing circles onto the back of your hand.

when the nurse asked him to have skin-to-skin contact, choso was nervous. what if he dropped his son? what if his son doesn't like him? what if his son doesn't like the way his skin feels? so many out of the box questions that didn't need to be answered were roaming in his mind.

as he slowly cradled his son, he blinked back the second round of tears that had threatened to fall. the light blue beanie stuck to his son's head seeped with a few drops of tears, leaning down to press his lips onto the baby's skin a few times. introducing himself as the baby's father and how happy he is to be one,

daichi l/n. that's the baby's name — it meant great first son. the both of you felt that it was a suitable name for your first baby.

choso slept on the small couch inside the hospital room during your healing week, in the middle of both you and him was daichi's small basinet where he slept soundly. he made sure to knock himself awake every now and then to check after both you and daichi.

when the hospital permitted you to go home, you completely relied on choso on heavy things — which you didn't even have to ask, he was already doing it for you. daichi gets a bit fussy at night, and choso always tells you to go back to sleep and that he'd handle the baby.

"you know, you're really noisy, right? mama's really worried about you," he gently poked the baby's cheek with his thumb as he cradled the small bundle of life affectionately, singing out a lullaby he remembered you singing to him years ago.

choso never knew he had a knack on changing diapers until you were occupied, and he had to change daichi's diaper. turns out he was really good at it, and from that day on — he's also told you that he got it. your body was still sore from delivery, and so everything around the house was mostly done by choso under your watch.

although choso's been the one taking care of daichi, he could definitely see how much the baby's turning out to be a big mama's boy even at a few months old. he noticed how daichi would only let you burp him, or sometimes daichi would get fussy when he felt choso raising him up during early mornings until you had to do it.

he didn't care. he wasn't jealous, daichi's still his son and he was glad that daichi loved you a little more than him. he'd like it if his baby prioritizes you first before him.

being a father is a great wonder to him. daichi's first word being 'mama', and his first steps was done while he was sauntering clumsily towards you. choso is such a proud father.

growing up, daichi turned out to be a big mama's boy. but still he loved choso too. now daichi lets choso carries him during mornings, and he relies on choso when something scares him while clutching onto your hand, taking small steps to hide behind choso. using his own father as a shield for him and you.

"don't worry, baby. 's just a lion in the screen, dada will protect us," you scooped the boy into your arms, pointing at the screen where a lion and its cub are walking.

"mmm. dada will protect you both," choso chimes in, ruffling daichi's thin hair.

daichi grew up loving boxing. you didn't know how he knows about it, but at the very next second, he was pestering choso to teach him boxing. and choso dreaded this because what was his son going to do at four years of age in pre-school with boxing? was he going to use it on his teachers? or his friends?

"no . . . maybe when you're older," choso's always said that, patting daichi's head as he does.

daichi whined every single time, but managed to forget when he saw some people drawing on TV. choso once again being a victim of his own son's pleading for some drawing lessons. as a father, choso of course accompanied daichi during his draw sessions in the living room right after the kid comes back from pre-school.

sometimes choso would draw too, having a little competition with his own son. which daichi mostly won — but at the same time, choso never complained about his loss. he was always proud of daichi.

"look, look mama! this is you, this is daichi, and this is dada!" daichi announces, pointing at every aspect of his drawing, explaining to you.

and to the fridge the drawing goes.

when daichi graduated pre-school, choso again, cried. taking pictures using the camera he had asked you to teach him how beforehand, and the pictures weren't the nicest. most of them being a blur of daichi walking down the stage with his small cap, waving his little hand to the camera.

choso was so proud of his son, of you, of himself. looking back— he's realized how far he had come despite not having to expect all of this. a loving wife. a son. a family.

choso was just glad he had his own little family now with you and his son. although . . . he wouldn't mind having another addition to the small community.

© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !

[boothillssugarmomma]

🎤Dιϝϝҽɾҽɳƚ SαႦɾιɳα Cαɾρҽɳƚҽɾ Sσɳɠʂ Aʂ Hσყσ ɱҽɳ🎤

🎀 A/N: I've been SO OBSESSED with Sabrina's new song 'Please Please Please' and omfgg I just love her music all around! So here's some of the boys as a few of her songs

ALSO I KNOW TEYVAT DOESN'T USE PHONES BUT IDC DEAL WITH IT (respectfully)

If I mis categorized anyone lemme know 🙏

𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 🙏

'𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓂𝓎 𝑒𝑔𝑜'𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇

𝐼 𝒷𝑒𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝑒𝓂𝒷𝒶𝓇𝓇𝒶𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓇, 𝑜𝒽

𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒, 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒, 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒'

Dating your new boyfriend was such a dream, he's so kind...so precious...BUT...he wasn't exactly a ROLE MODEL or an amazing guy to everyone. But you have a great sense of judgement, and you obviously have great taste...or at least you think so. Dating him was one thing...but telling people? WHOOO boy...when you did end up telling your friends about him...it stirred up quite a lot of drama.

"You sure he's good for you?" Your best friend sighs deeply as she holds your shoulders. Your friends were gathered around you hoping to knock some sense into you.

"I promise...he's sweet and a great guy..." You sigh softly as your best friend stares disapprovingly.

"We're just saying...he's...not exactly...what we thought you'd go for..." Your other friend hesitates as she talks, glancing at your third friend for him to back her up.

The quiet friend grimaces before clearing his throat. "He's...a...interesting guy...(Name)"

Your eyes narrow before you scoff. "You guys just don't know hi-" You cut off as your phone dings.

Your best friend grabs it and rolls her eyes at the message. "Oh get a LOAD of THIS!" She hands the phone to you.

It's your boyfriend...your wonderful...lovely...man who you'd never give up. Even if your friends think you should.

'Hey babe...sorry but I'm running a little late...ran into a little problem. But don't worry... I'll be there. Wouldn't wanna make your friends dislike me more than they already do...'

'Oh and I love you'

'See you soon ❤️'

You sigh at the text, face flushing a bit.

"Don't prove them right..."

-Aventurine, boothill, SAMPO, Gallagher, SUNDAY, Danslief, blade, CHILDE, Wanderer, itto, Lyney, Kaeya, SCARAMOUCHE

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

ᏋᏕᎮᏒᏋᏕᏕᎧ ☕

'𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑒'𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒾𝓃' '𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉, 𝑜𝒽...𝐼𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉? 𝐼 𝑔𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓈𝑜...𝒮𝒶𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝓁𝑒𝑒𝓅, 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌

𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝑒𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜'

Waking up in the morning without your boyfriend was hard...but sometimes he just was busy and couldn't stay over that night.

But waking up to his little messages? His love paragraphs or his small thoughts about you?

And even throughout the day, he also sent messages.

Those were the best...

You could say you had him wrapped around your finger to be honest. He could never get enough of you.

'God I wish you were here honey...'

'I miss you already ❤️'

'I want to skip (work, travels, missions, etc) and just come home to you...'

'I can't sleep...'

'I can't stop thinking about you my love...'

'I keep thinking about you every night and all day...'

And finally after his long day, he enters your shared home with an exhausted and fairly pouty look.

"You ok honey?" You hum softly as you get up from the couch where you were sitting.

His eyes meet yours and immediately soften.

"Cmere...couldn't stop missing you!" He whispers with a bit of desperation as he quickly rushes to hug you.

"Feel so much better already...so energetic..." He mumbles as he nuzzles into your neck.

"You're like a little shot of espresso~" He teases softly in your ear before kissing your forehead.

"That's me, your espresso..."

-ARGENTI, dan heng, Gepard, JING YUAN, diluc, CHILDE, XIAO, Neuvillette, aether, chongyun, Zhongli, Bennett, WRIOTHESLEY, THOMA, freminent, Gaming

☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

ƒεαƭɦε૨ 🪶

'𝐼 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒻𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹 (𝒶𝒽), 𝐹𝓁𝑜𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇, 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 (𝒶𝒽)'

Dumping him was the BEST idea you've ever had when it came to him. Not having to worry about where he is every night, why he was always so busy, even when you knew he wasn't.

The lies, the coverups, his pathetic excuses.

All

Gone

And you couldn't be happier. You didn't have to pretend he was the best guy in the world, you didn't have to pretend to like whatever he did, didn't have to pretend you were ok with his lies.

It's been over a year now, you're dating one of your best friends, and you knew your life was set!

But your ex wouldn't leave you alone!

He's STILL calling and texting and trying to get back in. He shows up everywhere, your work, your house, your boyfriend's house, your friends houses, trying to get you to take him back.

He just KNEW you were making a mistake, it has to be, he loved you so much...just realized it a bit too late!

"(Name)! We're meant to be together it has to be now stop acting foolish!" He catches up to you one night after work on your walk home.

You scoff softly, ignoring the male as he pants beside you.

"Then tell me why I feel lighter than a damn feather without you on my mind?" You hum, a bitter tone in your voice.

His eyes show a flash of hurt before he huffs. "Because you just don't understand how you feel!"

You roll your eyes, continuing to walk, trying to get away from him.

"Baby I want you back, please!" He whimpers a bit.

"I've told you multiple times, we're done!" Your patience is running thin, and this it not how you wanted to spend the evening.

"But I miss you!" He tries to reach for your hand.

"No duh, you should've thought about that!" You growl.

"But honey think about us...all the memories...how much we cared about each other?" He pleads.

You stop walking before turning to him.

"Thinking about our memories would be a waste of time..."

-VENTI, Kaeya, Boothill, Aventurine, gallagher, Kaveh, ITTO, xingqiu, dr ratio, Ayato, albedo, CHILDE

🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

[lazyjellyfish300]

Letters from Nanami 🖋️💘

CW: ANGST, x FEM!READER, SUGGESTIVE- MINORS DNI, FLUFF, kinda self indulgent I'm sorry!!! Word count: around 1k

@1-900-venusluvs @thatone-writer

----

Postcard letters to you from Kento Nanami while he's on his missions would probably sound a little something like this:

-----

Darling, 

Waking up to another letter from you was the highlight of my day. Thank you for sending the coffee grounds. Reminds me of home and saved my life since where I am now is lovely but their coffee...leaves a lot to be desired.

Anyway, I hope you're taking care of yourself. Enjoy a cup for me and know that I'm doing the very same thing with you, even miles away. Hot for me and iced for you, just how you like it. 

Love, 

~Ken

-----

Couldn't stop thinking about you. I adored the pictures you sent me of the tulip festival. You look beautiful and the flowers are lovely. I love how despite being away, you write to me and speak to me as if I never left. Don't worry about finishing that show without me, honey. Watch it and enjoy it and tell me all about it when I get home. 

Always, 

~Ken

----

My love, 

We saw Lake Como today for the first time. It was absolutely breathtaking, just as you described. I suppose I did tease you a little much about "Anidala" and your adorable thoughts on why it was the perfect date location, because it absolutely is. 

I only wish you could've been here to see it with me. I'll bring you back one day, but only after I show you Malaysia. 

Be good for me sweetheart. 

Love, 

~Ken

-----

My dearest, 

I'm so sorry you had a tough week. It's moments like these that pain me the most, that I cannot be there when you need me so. You are so patient and you inspire me every day with your strength. Please hold on a little longer and I'll be back home with you in my arms before you know it. 

My love for you is unending. If nothing else brings you comfort, I hope that does. 

Passionately yours, 

~Ken

-----

Darling, 

You can't even begin to understand how needy I'm feeling right now after reading that. When you say those things it causes my mind to think about all kinds of scenarios I probably shouldn't write for fear of this letter finding someone else by mistake. 

Just know that I feel the same. God, you don't know how badly... 

Knowing your body craves me even when I'm not there does things to me you can't even imagine.

When I get home, the first thing I plan to do is demonstrate just how much. 

Always yours, 

~Ken

-----

Sweetheart, 

Yesterday was a good day. It's been raining all morning, which makes me think of you. I had a chance to go into town for a moment. I visited the gardens, saw some brand new ducklings and had a chance to admire the bridge. I think you would like it here a lot. 

They have a bakery which I made sure to stop by. They have this sort of house dressing they put on their sandwiches with fresh honey mustard mixed with mayonnaise adding just the right amount of tang balanced with sweetness. It's absolutely amazing. 

As always, I hate being away from you. But your letters never fail to cheer me up. Thank you for taking the time to write them and send them to me.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling still, my love. I don't like seeing you upset, especially if I'm not there to help you get through it. 

Well darling, I hope you have a better week. Please don't forget to take care of yourself just as I would do if I was there. 

Don't worry too much about things love, that's my job. 

Faithfully yours, 

~Ken

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My sweetest darling, 

It's been harder than normal for me to be here without you. 

Part of me hates admitting that to you because the last thing I want is for you to feel responsible for how I'm feeling when you have more than enough on your plate. But it's the truth. I would be doing you a disservice if I wasn't honest. I miss you and the sound of your voice like hell. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I think it's time for us to plan for the future. If the things we talked about before I left are still true, then I think we shouldn't wait any longer. 

I want to marry you, have a family with you, have all of the things that I've always told you that I wanted but was too big of a coward to seize it with both hands, all because of fear. This silly fear that I would push you away over time or you'd grow to resent me because of my profession. It's about time that you and I resign to the quiet life, so we can have this together. I want to stop dreaming and start doing. If you'd still have an old man like me, then I'd be the happiest man on Earth. I want to give you my mother's ring and my last name. 

Darling, as I write this I can't help but feel extraordinary sadness that you're not with me. I'm trying to hold back these overwhelming feelings and from spilling every last confession on these pages, because as I said before, this is not your burden to bear. It's mine alone to shoulder, and I need to be the strong one for both of us.

Just long enough until I can have you in my arms. Just long enough until I can love you so deeply until the morning. Just long enough until we can go to that chapel on the edge of town that you pointed out when we went on that drive last Autumn, and I can bring you to all of these places that I'm seeing and experiencing without you, only this time I can experience it fully and properly with a fresh set of eyes because I have my love rightfully beside me where she belongs.  

I'll be dreaming of that moment. It's simply the only thing I can hold onto for now, my darling. You, the promise of you, and your gorgeous smile and those eyes that drive me wild. From now, until the edge of time, I'm all yours, and you're all mine.

I'll see you very soon darling, as always, be good for me. 

No other fitting way to end this letter besides just

Yours,

~Ken 

渋谷区

Shibuya, Japan

Postmarked 2018年10月30日

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A/N: sorry if I messed up the Japanese, pls correct me if I did 🖤

[ava-the-great]

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE ☆ J.S.

It's certainly not your first go around playing with the one and only Jannik Sinner, but something about this time feels...different. word count: 2.3k -- Realistic? Never that. Fun and fresh? If you say so google translate Italian. sorry guys

"Old Friends Set to Take on Wimbledon Together"

You smile at the headline on your laptop. Grass season has finally arrived. Yet another surface for competitors to conquer. And you praise God, your coaches, and anything and everything for allowing you to compete with Jannik again. It'd been a while since the two of you played a major tournament with each other. And if you were being honest, you missed playing with him, his intensity and drive. You missed everything about the Italian, if you were going to be honest.

Arriving at the practice facilities, you couldn't seem to shake the sense of excitement you felt. It was like how children felt on Christmas Eve, eagerly awaiting the joy of the next day, like the feeling before the first day of school. You made your way through the tunnel to the stands and were almost blinded by the sun shining on the white seats. You scan the court. There were a few people milling about: players, trainers, coaches. However, you're looking for one person in particular. And then you see him in all his glory.

The tall redhead looked good. He's laughing with his coach Simone about something in Italian, and he just appears...radiant. Bright smile, toned legs, and all. You try to shake the thoughts from your mind. Not only is he your partner for the tournament, Jannik is your friend. Yeah, a friend you'd like to hold hands with and kiss all day. Before you can slap yourself for thinking such a thing, Jannik waves and starts to jog over to you.

"Ciao," he yells as he makes his way over.

You wave and smile back. Your perch in the stands doesn't make for good greetings, so Jannik does what any person would do in his situation: He hops the barrier.

You smile and roll your eyes as Jannik smooths his clothes and beams at you. The two of you share a hug, and the man pulls back with his hands on your shoulders. He gives you a once-over and a contemplative look. Always chewing on his words, this one.

"You look great," he says quietly, giving you a tight smile.

"What? Do I normally look bad, Jannik?" You smirk up at him.

It's his turn to roll his eyes. "Oh, per favore," he mutters.

"Thanks, Jan. You look great as well," you say with a laugh as you pull away from him. The two of you sit down and catch up. You talk about recent matches, techniques, foods you've tried, other players, etc. It's refreshing to have someone other than your team to talk to, and you eventually start rambling about a day trip you took to the Spanish countryside after the Madrid Open. You speak with so much enthusiasm about the people you met and the sights you saw that Jannik can't help but melt a little. And you don't notice it, but Jannik looks at you with something slightly different in his eyes. Something that looks like love.

The following few practices sailed by smoothly. Each day consisted of the two of you hitting the ball back and forth, adjusting serves, practicing footwork, and a myriad of other exercises. On the third day, Jannik stops in the middle of a light rally with your trainers and looks at you.

"I think that should be good for today. Don't you?"

You think about it for a moment and then nod. Jannik bids goodbye to the trainers and makes his way over to his bags on the bench. He closes his eyes and takes a breath.

"I was thinking about going out for a bite. Like to join me?" Please say yes. Please say yes. He doesn't know why he's so nervous. He's played on some of the biggest stages in the world, and it's you. You're friends. But it's you.

"Whatever you want, carrot top," you quip at him as you put your racket in your bag. "Whatever you want."

Jannik has you at a lovely cafe in a quieter part of town. The windows have been thrown open on account of it being nice out and the blossoms in the flower boxes dance with the breeze. You've changed into casual clothes: a floral tank top, simple white linen pants, and brown sandals. You fiddle with the bracelets on your wrists as you wait for Jannik to arrive. The bell above the shop door rings for the 16th time (you've been counting), and you look up, hoping to see your friend. And this time, he's there.

"Ah, sei in anticipo," he says as he walks over to you. Jannik bends over and presses a kiss to both of your cheeks. He's wearing his usual white sweater and khakis. Adorable, you think, was a smile.

"Nice to see you too, Jan," you say, trying to hide how flustered the gesture made you. He sits in the chair next to you and flips through the menu. The waitress comes to take your orders: a pain au chocolat with vanilla Comoro tea for you and Jannik, a cappuccino with a double shot of espresso, and a strawberry choquette. The food comes quickly, and Jannik offers you a sip of his coffee.

"Now, Jan, you know I don't do coffee, which is a completely foreign concept to your Italian brain." He stops chewing his choquette to give you a skeptical look. You raise your hands in defense.

"I don't know. It's never called out to me like that."

The ginger wipes his mouth before he picks up his large hands and wraps around the small cappuccino mug. "Are you positive you don't want to try it, cara?" Jannik looks at you with his eyebrows raised and a sly smile. Jannik holds out the delicate cup to you. He knows you'll give in if he pushes hard enough. And he's right.

"Ok, I'll let you peer pressure me this once," you say, taking the cup out of his hands. Your fingers brush, and the young man bristles. Suddenly, all of the thoughts he's been trying to suppress for the past few days come flooding to the forefront of his mind. Merda, am I being too forward? Letting her drink out of my own glass?

"It tastes good, shocking," you say sarcastically, placing the glass back into his hands. Hm, an indirect kiss of sorts, you think, still reveling in the sip of coffee you just had.. Cute. Jannik blushes and averts his gaze to the curtains blowing in the breeze.

The pair of older women sitting at the table next to you stand up to leave. One of the women makes her way around the table to yours and lays a wrinkled hand on Jannik's shoulder.

"Young man," she starts in a friendly tone. He smiles sweetly at her, a bit startled by her sudden appearance. "I just wanted to say you have a wonderful young woman here. Before you arrived, she was just as resp-," the woman goes on to compliment your manners and conversational skills. With Jannik absorbed in conversation, you sneak another sip of his coffee. Neither of you had the heart to tell her you weren't together, but maybe that was a blessing in disguise. The elderly woman takes Jannik's hands. "You make sure not to lose her, you hear?" The man nods and shoots you an apologetic look. You let out a small giggle. Jannik thanks her profusely and pats her worn hands.

"What a lovely couple," the elderly woman's companion announces to her friend. The two of them link arms, wave goodbye to the two of you, and hobble out of the restaurant.

It had been a rough practice day. Your coaches decided to tweak the strategy to consider potential opponents, but things weren't clicking. It's almost as if both of you forgot how to play tennis for an hour and a half. Clumsy movements, a lack of communication, and too many unforced errors to count left you and Jannik frustrated. And no matter how childish and petty it sounded, the two of you had taken up playing the blame game with each other.

"I know we're used to the singles life, but you have got to control your zone. Why the hell are you all over the place, Jan? You're not new to this," you say, exasperated. "You almost hit me, like, six times today, bud."

"Maybe you could move faster on the switch then," he mutters.

"What was that?" You turn and glare at the redhead. And to think, I have, maybe had now, a thing for this prick.

"Oh, you heard me," he says, opening the door to your team recovery room. Both of you throw your bags down, and all hell breaks loose. Jannik is trying to make you understand the strategy with hand gestures and that condescending tone of his that only comes out when he's agitated, and you're not having a bit of it. At some point, the argument stopped being about tennis and became the two of you yelling about personality flaws; words like mentality, drive, and passion came up. Both of you question the other's skill, intelligence, outside influences. You'd never thought Jannik nor yourself could be so nasty.

The room was not empty when the two of you entered with your irritation and volume, either. Your physios, coaches, trainers, and God himself were watching the scene unfold. Your coaches, who want nothing to do with the raging storm, slowly gather their belongings and usher the others out the door.

Jannik pauses your argument and turns to look at them.

"And just where might you two be going," he asks flatly.

"Well, it's clear that you need to, uh, work something out, so we just wanted to give you guys some space," your coach says, still backing towards the door. Simone nods enthusiastically while opening the door behind his back, allowing the pair to shuffle out of the room like two kids caught stealing from the cookie jar. After their departure, Jannik whips his head back to you, and you fully expect him to pick up where he left off and continue his tirade. But instead, he looks down at you and sighs. He turns to sit on one of the medical tables, and you do the same. The two of you are close enough for your legs to touch, but neither party seems to mind.

"I don't want to fight you. I...didn't want to fight you in the first place," Jannik says, his voice low. "It's just... I let my thoughts get the best of me, and I was going to apologize, but then, I figured if you hated me for being rude and ugly, maybe everything I felt would subside and-"

"Jannik, what feelings," you say, cutting him off. You bite your lip, a nervous habit.

He turns to face you. You could count every single one of his freckles if you wanted. Jannik turns bright red.

"You know how I always say I love your play style and passion and intensity...all of which I just insulted a few minutes ago, oh my God. I am so sorry-"

"No, Jannik, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have picked a fight with you, and I shouldn't have said all those things. And I'm sorry for cutting you off again, so please, go on."

Jannik gives you a small smile and a nudge to your shoulder. An olive branch. "Well, I do love those things about you, but I... I also love... well, you. I love you. And I've been so afraid to say something because if I was rejected by you, sono fottuto," he says with a shrug. He's talking fast, like if he doesn't, all the words are gonna fly away and never come back. Jannik sits on his hands and stares at you intently. You take his face in your hands.

"So soft," you whisper. It wasn't supposed to come out that quiet, but now it feels appropriate. "And Jannik Sinner, I love you. I love you even after you read me like an open book. I love you so much that I'd spend the rest of my days sitting in cafes and sipping on your coffee because you know I'm too stubborn to order my own. I love you, I love y-"

In a flash, Jannik's lips are on yours. He's sweet with his kisses, paying attention to your face, neck, shoulders. He gently lays you back onto the medical table and pulls back to sit on his leg. "Sei bellissima, tesoro," he whispers as he leans into you again. "Something, beautiful, something. I'll take it," you say, beaming at him. You run your hand through his curls, and he puts his forehead on your sternum. His fingertips leave imprints under your skirt.

"The two of you aren't screaming anymore, so it must be fine t-"

Simone makes it halfway through the door before he sees the two of you on the table. Jannik glares at him. "Never mind, guys. Take all the time you need, ok?" And for the second time that day, the Italian backs out of the recovery room. The two of you can hear him shoving people back down the hall and whispering, presumably gossiping about the two of you.

Jannik helps you sit up, and you can't help but laugh at the whole exchange. He grins at your incessant giggles. You're laughing always makes him laugh, and at some point, you're both doubled over into the other's lap, not exactly sure what you're laughing at any more. And both of you know that this is how life should be.

author's note: personally, I think this is lowkey doodoo mcfoodoo but love makes you do crazy things doesn't it?

[lovely-peace]

Ugly lies

Summary: Now that you are over, you wouldn't catch him hung up on somebody that he used to know.

Pairing: Sirius black x slytherin!reader

Warnings: toxic friendship, toxic relationship, insecurities, reader and sirius are ex lovers, not me writing another fic to this song, after just writing the other one-

Wanna know the whole story? This is only a parallelism of another story. It's called Loving Lies, of which the prologue is here reimagined from a different point of view. Wc: 2.4k

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

"You're looking at him again."

I quickly lowered my gaze to my food. I poked at my food until I realized that I wasn't hungry at all. Phina sighed.

"This is getting pathetic. He wasn't even a good boyfriend, was he?" her voice sounded so distant.

"Why didn't you invite me go your game?" I asked him.

He looked away. "You wouldn't have liked it anyway."

I looked up again. There he was sitting. He was laughing with his friends, who were probably telling the best jokes in the universe. Unlike mine.

"Didn't he often just leave you alone? Didn't take care of you at parties?" Cassie quietly joined phina.

"Do you want to leave?" My voice was shaking as I stared up at him.

He sighned. "Told you you wouldn't like it. At least let me enjoy it."

My heart stopped for a moment when I thought of him. All the things he had done. But weren't we such a good match?

If only he had cared about me.

"He forgot my birthday." My voice didn't sound like me at all.

"Why are you that mad at me? What did I even do?" His voice was so so loud.

"Forget it." I hissed at him.

"So you know it's pathetic. Eat instead of looking at Sirius' lips."

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done

"Are you that indifferent to me, Sirius? At least look at me!" Why was I even talking to him? What was my goal?

Here I was, sitting in a party, throwing my self-esteem out the window again. A beggar woman. That was me.

"Please leave me alone." Sirius turned away from me, his drink almost spilling over.

"Why are you acting like this? I know I may have hurt you, but that doesn't mean I can't make it up to you!" my voice sounded pathetic.

Why was I like this? I was usually better than this, why was I begging like this?

"We're over. Let it go." His voice was getting harder and harder. "Go back to Whisky and tell her how much I sucked."

He looked at me with hardened eyes.

"But it's your fault we're apart."

My body shuddered. Something was breaking me from the inside and I wanted to cry.

"Are you serious?"

He snorted and looked away again. "You cheated on me." he reminded me, as he had so many times in the last few days.

"After you treated me like a decoration for weeks." I whispered and looked at the floor.

"What did you say?" his eyebrows drew together and I couldn't bear to look at him.

"Forget it." I hissed and disappeared to my friends.

After being bumped into by several people, I made it to Cassie and Phina who gave me disappointed looks.

"What?" I was irritated.

"You've got something there." Phina said, pointing to her cheek.

As I wiped my cheek, it was wet.

And I don't wanna live that way

"I'll let it go."

Cassie gave me a worried look. "That's what you said last time."

I shook my head. "I'll stick to it this time."

Phina yawned. "Heard it all before." She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Get a grip."

I wanted to punch her, but I refrained from doing so. Just lean back and enjoy the music. But I found it so hard to lose myself in the crowd.

"I'm going to whisky." I stood up. "She'll get lost otherwise."

"Yeah, yeah." Phina waved her hand at me. "Just don't get lost yourself."

I swayed around in the crowd while my eyes searched for the Hufflepuff girl. Did she miss me?

Probably not.

I walked slowly near the bar where I had left her last time. She never wanted to dance and at some point I had stopped trying to get her to.

But then I saw him. He was standing far too close to her. So close that she leaned back a little, as if she didn't like it.

Was this his way of getting revenge? Maybe.

In any case, I wouldn't put up with it.

"Sirius!!!" I shouted sounding like I saw him for the first time this evening. Good.

I ran towards them, trying to hug him, but he dodged me. But if he wanted to play this game, I could too.

"Could you please let go of me?" Sirius' eyes were narrowed as he looked at me and I did the face he always liked.

"You're so cold, Siri!" I said the horrible nickname before letting him go.

Sirius rolled his eyes in like he hated me. "I wonder where that comes from."

I tried to shake his look of. "Come on, Sirius, you can stop pretending to hate me. You know it was nothing serious with him!"

He snorted and wrinkled his nose. "I know it wasn't serious. You were making out with three other guys that week, and those are just the ones I know of."

What? How could he say this in front of her!

I glanced briefly at whisky, only to get a horrified look, then focused back on Sirius. "You broke my heart! You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun!" The words sounded pathetic.

"I don't know how much 'fun' you've had during our relationship, and honestly, I don't want to know." Sirius hisssd, turning away from me. To her.

"Where were we? Oh yes, preparing for the party! Yes, we had a lot of fun, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Have you danced yet?"

I snorted. "Oh, please, Whisky and dancing?" I felt the alcohol in my system. "Come on, stop pretending you're actually interested in her; it won't make me jealous!"

He didn't even turn around; he didn't find it necessary to look into my eyes. "Did I talk to you? No, I didn't. And unlike you, I don't talk to people just to use them, so shut up!"

I felt like vomiting as he spouted this lies. Lies, lies, lies. And to make it even worse he asked her again. "Have you danced yet?" She shook her head slowly and I couldn't stand looking at the scene before me. How she let him toy with her and me.

I could hear his devilish smile as he spoke, even though I was right behind him. "Would you like to dance with me?"

As he extended his hand towards her I sharply inhaled. "Sirius, you're acting ridiculous, don't you realize? I mean, why are you asking her when I'm right here-"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I REALLY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU??" his yelling breaking my mind, my thoughts and my voice.

And as I looked at my friend I couldn't keep the words inside of me.

"I hate you!" I screamed. Turning away and running from this sad, pathetic scene. From her lovingly gaze at him.

Reading into every word you say

I tried to pull myself together in the restroom like phina had told me. Crying about him? That really wasn't necessary! Wasn't it?

My hands were shaking as I tried to reapply my mascara.

And then she came in.

I cleared my throat and looked away from her in the mirror. "There you are. I thought I had lost my best friend to that wannabe Casanova."

I saw her looking at my face and starting to look unsure, almost a little angry. "I thought you were -" She started, but I tried laughing her voice away.

"Those crocodile tears I pulled out? They were just for show." I went for my make-up again to cover up my lies. I sighed playfully as I had done so many times before.

"But now I have to redo my eyeliner! Well, hopefully, he feels guilty now and comes begging for my forgiveness!" He won't.

"I thought you weren't feeling well. I thought you needed my help!" Her voice trembled almost as much as mine. But she really had no reason to. No, she had to like what was happening, didn't she?

"Come on, Whisky, it's not a big deal. I'm just trying to get back together with my ex-boyfriend; after all, he broke my heart!"

The words were so easy to say. Like I was following a script.

"And he's just as terrible. I mean, asking you to dance in front of me? He's trying to use you against me, that bastard! You should be much more upset about it!"

"I don't think-" She looked at the floor.

And I laughed.

Not because what she said wasn't true. No, rather because it was true.

"Please, Whisky, as if he ever really wants to have anything to do with you! He was a jerk to you from the moment we first met; you just don't interest him!"

I could see her slowly falling apart. I suppressed my pity and my gloating.

"Whisky, please don't cry again. I don't mean it in a mean way; I'm just being realistic." I wasn't being realistic at all. I was probably the bad girlfriend in the script.

When I heard her tears, I hugged her. "I just want to protect you. He will only take advantage of you. I don't want to see you hurt, especially not because of him. Isn't one broken heart because of Sirius enough?"

Something inside me turned as she nodded and cried in my arms. I hated comforting her now. To help her when she had nothing to cry about.

"Come on, that's enough crying now; you'll ruin my dress." I finally tried to push her weak little arms away.

After an infinitely long time, she let go of me and washed her face.

I took her arm as if to prove something. I didn't know what. "Come on, we can leave. By now, he should feel guilty enough."

And I went ahead. As I always did.

I just wanted to put the thoughts in my head to sleep. Switch off and live. But that was so hard.

"I really need a drink," I whispered to the girl who was clinging to me. She nodded like a doll.

James was sitting at the bar with Peter, discussing something. James smiled like he did before every 'prank'.

"Bartender!" I shouted, ready to play along.

"What can I get for our snake?" James asked with a sugary voice and a fake smile.

I didn't let his remark show. "Your humor is still in the basement, Potter."

"I think it's yours that's in the basement, considering you took that as a joke. I was quite serious." he retorted.

I placed my order and made my way to my friends. They were both sitting in the same place.

"It took you a long time." Cassie gave me that worried look again.

Phina gave me a little look and shook her head again. "You're lost again."

I was silent this time.

"She has your order." Cassie said and laughed when she saw Whisky standing there. I laughed along contrivedly and made my way back to her.

She smiled as she held out my lemonade. "Here."

The drink was a little darker than normal. And in this poor lighting in a party, that shouldn't have meant anything, but I knew James. And Sirius, too.

Their drink was a normal color. And it upset me. That disgustingly normal color.

And then I did it.

You said that you could let it go

"Omg, I just don't understand you! Your best friend is in there and you're out here laughing like nothing happened!" Suddenly he acted like he cared what I did. I would have loved to hit him.

"And here I thought you were following me to apologize." A lie. I never believed that.

Sirius took a sharp breath. "Are you even listening to me? Your friend was just humiliated in front of everyone, why don't you go in and see her?"

I took a deep breath and tried to sound strong.

"Just because something stupid happened to her, and she's hiding in the restroom, doesn't mean I should let it ruin my fun too. Fuck, if we hadn't swapped drinks on a whim, I'd have the green hair, right? I can be thankful for that; that would've been the worst!"

"What do you even like about me?" I asked him as a joke, but there was so much more to the question.

He laughed. "I loooove your hair."

His voice got louder. So unbearably loud. "Is it always just about you? Wait, I know it is, I've been with you long enough. You're one of the most selfish and narcissistic people I know! There's your reason why I don't want anything to do with you!"

I laughed like a psychopath.

"Now I'm the bad one? Oh please, Sirius, don't make a fool of yourself! I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

I knew that would hurt him. Because it was about her. "Your actions have consequences, Sirius. You know you're to blame for her crying her eyes out in there."

But he didn't say anything in response. No, he just looked down and confirmed what I had known for so long.

My thoughts and feelings were all over the place and I wanted to puke.

The sharp bang afterwards woke me up. I slapped him. "Are you going to check on her now?" he said, so unbearably calm and composed.

"You know what, Sirius? Fuck you, seriously!" I spat out the words.

"Instead of apologizing to me for this prank, I'm now supposed to clean up your mess!"

"She has the green hair, not you. She's your friend; I don't think she wants to see me. Besides, it's the girls' restroom." Sirius said, almost accusingly.

"That's your problem. I don't have to cling to my friends all the time like a parasite; I'm allowed to have some fun too!"

I ran away from him. Away from her. From these so unfair people.

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

"Stop staring at them." Phina's voice was so annoyed.

I poked at my food until I realized that I wasn't hungry at all. Phina sighed but didn't say anything.

My fork pierced a piece of chicken that I used to love to eat and now loathed. How did it come to this?

How did I let it come to this?

I looked up again. Looked at my former best friend, who was now sitting by his side.

And when I saw the sparkle in his eyes, I remembered.

"I don't love you." he had told me.

He never said anymore.

So it was no surprise that he didn't mourn me.

Yes, it wasn't even a surprise that he was now dating my former best friend.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Mdni

Thinking about being Kafka's needy, horny little wife.

He surprises you when he comes home for lunch one day. You don't have anything prepared for him A) because he didn't tell you and though you could sling some food together for him really quick, B), because you're too busy in your bedroom running a very precise vibrator over your clit.

You're too busy thinking about how yummy he looked this morning. Too busy listening to your most recent favorite song to hear him unlock and come in the front door.

Your eyes are closed, and your legs are wide open, back flat against the bed. Small, breathy and whiny moans escape your lonely lips. God what you wouldn't give to have Kafka stuff you full of his cock right now.

He said your name, but it was drowned out by the music being up so loud. And rather than continuing to holler for you, he just headed down the hallway to the bedroom.

What he saw when he looked around the doorframe was truly a thing of beauty: Your swollen cunt was pulsing again and again as you pulled away just in time to deny yourself another orgasm.

But you didn't know he was there. You didn't hear anything but the melodic serenade of the song you'd put on repeat.

Once you were sure you could keep going, you lifted your head to see where the vibrator landed on the bed. Instead of seeing that, you caught an eye full of Kafka just standing there. Smirking at you.

"So's this what you do all day when I'm keeping the country safe?" He laughed and ducked down when you threw your toy at him. "Hey! Hey ... I come in peace. I can't say the same thing for you, though. Goodness, kitten. You miss me that much, mm?" He said, his voice dropped to a low tone that would've been almost scary if it wasn't so sexy.

He sauntered over to you in his officer's uniform, undoing his pants when he reached the bed.

You hopped right up and got on your knees on the floor, pushing him back onto the bed, pulling his pants down around his ankles, essentially trapping him there.

Of course, he could've gotten away if he wanted to. But he's never said no to your mouth being wrapped snugly around his dick.

You went right to work, bobbing your head up and down the full length of his cock, moaning against him every time you felt the tip hit the back of your throat.

"Fuh- oh - oh my god, kitten. What the hell's gotten into you to- fuck! Today?"

You looked up at him as your hand stroked what wasn't between your lips, coming off of him with a pop, you said, "I juh- fuck," you wiped the wet mess off of your chin with the back of your hand and continued, "I just want you, Kaf, so fucking bad today, want you so bad."

You turned your attention back to sucking him off, fully enjoying the reactions you were getting from him.

His abs and thighs began to tense up, his cock throbbing against your hot tongue. "Hmm ... kit- kitten, gonna - oh fuck, gonna cum f'ya keep that up ... hoh my god, baby ... please ... please please please doh-hon't stop. Don't ever stop."

So, you didn't. You sped up your movements, pulling him right over the edge. "Cuh-cuh-fuckin' cumming! Oh shit, shit shit shit! Hoh god ... b-babe! Fuck!" It was an explosion in your mouth that you wholly consumed.

"C'mere, you." He pulled you up onto his lap and cupped his hands under your ass, squeezing you impossibly close. "I needa eat lunch before I head back. You wanna help me with that? Maybe gimme somethin' tuh eat, mm?"

You smiled against his kiss and got up off of his lap.

"Aht! Where you think y'goin', uh?" He said as he stood and scooped you up into his arms.

"G'na fix you some lunch ... right?"

"Mm-mm. Tag baby cakes. You're it. Now, get back t'how I found ya and get ready. 'M fuckin' starvin' t'day."

Fuck, you love this man.

_______________________

@witchy-scribblings @kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo

@delirious-donna @darkstarlight82 @bakubunny

@reiners-milkbiddies @supersecretsaga @trevengersprincess

@breathofthewind29

_______________________

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Stepdad! Miguel O'Hara. Always trying not to see you for the pretty princesa he's been fucking for months, even before he married your mom. Trying to stop the onslaught of lust and animalistic urge that overcomes him whenever you're around.

He finds himself failing when, late one night, he's making his way to the kitchen when he hears the familiar sound of your moans and whimpers. Unable to help himself, he wanders toward your bedroom, surprised to find your door slightly ajar.

The scent of your arousal is thick, making his mouth water and his cock spring to attention. He peeks into your bedroom, delighted when he finds you spread on the bed, fingers stuffed into your soaked cunt.

You writhe and whine, breath heavy. He can hear your pussy squelching in the little breaks between your sounds. He reaches for himself, adjusting his cock and trying to push away the desire.

But then you have to go and moan, “Miguel! Miguel, please!”

He loses it. He's just about seeing red as he bursts into your room, his chest heaving with heavy breaths.

You jump, embarrassed, and he's on you almost instantly, in you within mere minutes.

As he slides into you, you moan, body shuddering beneath him.

“Yes, princesa,” he groans, holding your thighs spread wide, his eyes dark with lust as he watches himself pump into you. “Oh, fuck, I missed this pretty little pussy.”

You whimper, hands rolling into fists around the bed sheets, eyes fluttering shut. “Miguel!” you gasp, and he goes harder, faster, deeper. You swear you can feel him almost quite literally rearranging your guts.

He leans over you, pulling your legs over his shoulders and fucking you impossibly rougher. He holds onto the bed frame, your bed squeaking with every hard, borderline painful thrust. But it feels so good. It's just too good for you to want to stop.

He bites your neck, your shoulder, kisses your lips until they're swollen. He fucks you like an animal starved, going round after round even when you're on the verge of passing out.

And then he gives you one final orgasm before finishing himself, filling you up with his thick, hot load.

The next day, at breakfast, your mom sees the hickeys across your neck. “What's that?!” she gasps.

You exchange looks with Miguel who, much to your surprise, looks absolutely innocent—which he should definitely not.

This ends with you getting grounded, never mind the fact that you're twenty-two already.

Your mom leaves later to go grocery shopping and for a coffee with friends.

Miguel takes care of ensuring you learn your lesson.

Bent over the tabletop, pussy raw and soaked. You take pounding after pounding, his seed spilling into you again and again until you're seeing stars.

He tugs at your hair, forcing your back to arch. “You better make damn sure no one ever knows about any of this,” he warns. “Otherwise, I'll have to punish you, not only discipline you. And you don't want that, do you, princesa?”

Well. Honestly? Yes. You'd absolutely love it.

-----

@yagirlheree @sukioyakio @obi-mom-kenobi @celestia80s @manlikemilesmyguy @zaunsin @naniiiii12 @everlastlady @avatar-lover @siidmm @dhollandhs

*if you want me to add you to my taglist, comment or send me a message! <3

-----

Blog masterlist

[satoruluvies]

saying somethin' stupid like 'i love you'

fwb!gojo saying the forbidden L word during the deed ????

slightly nsfw, minors please don't interact. also fluff bc i miss gojo :(

not proof read !

thankyou so much for all the support on my recent ♡

satoru thinks you're so cruel. one minute you're holding onto him, nails digging into his back as if you needed him to live.

chanting his name so so beautifully as he trapped you between his bare body and the bed, relentlessly thrusting into you.

and then the next you were back to acting like even his mere existence irritated you. in a way it does but not in the way he thinks.

not once had you been there the morning after. only the crumpled sheets and your nail marks served as reminders that you were here, with him.

“gojo can you not-”

“that wasn't what you called me last night. what happened to toru?”

you glare daggers at him as one of his hand held your notebook high up. he was ridiculously tall and he liked abusing that privilege. especially against you.

“shut up” you walk past him without bothering to take your book.

“hey you mad baby?” he chuckled, getting in front of you, stopping you again.

“come on, answer me. why'd you leave? i thought we agreed to go to class together hmm?”

you roll your eyes at him and crossed your arms.

“that's what you said. i didn't agree.”

“aw you're too mean” he pouted as you scowl and try passing him again only to be stopped by his hand on your arm.

“i wanted you to stay.” his words were heavy, his face not showing even the slightest bit of his shit eating grin he always has on.

he turns to you, his round sunglasses were low on his nose and you could see his oh so beautiful eyes.

you look away because if you don't, you were pretty sure you'd be hypnotised and you'd do whatever he wanted.

“if you keep doing this i won't stay over anymore.” your words shot a painful jab at your own abdomen. his grip around you loosened slowly until he lets go completely.

“alright then.” he hands you your notebook, more like placed them into your arms as he walked away, eyes never meeting yours.

the next ‘sleepover’ took place three days after the banter with satoru. he hadn't called or texted the whole time but when you asked if he was up for it, he replied almost immediately.

so here you were again, him ramming into you as you cling onto his bare body for dear life. you could feel your climax coming as your grip grew tighter and tighter.

satoru was the same, chasing his high. he had missed you a lot the past three days but tried distancing himself just so his feelings for you would simmer down.

it only resulted him thinking about you all day and even more during the night. he finds himself wishing you were here with him, either giving you the pleasure you both agreed upon or just you laying down next to him. he didn't care.

he just wanted you to be there. with him.

and now that you are, his heart clenches the way you clench around him as the both of you cummed simultaneously.

he holds your body tight as you both work your way through the orgasm, euphoria rushing through both your veins.

“fuck y/n…” he groaned as he felt your grip loosen. he can't let you go just yet.

“i love you”

he hadn't meant to say it really. not like this at least.

“satoru we've been through this-” you push him weakly but he stays grounded, eyes boring into yours.

“i mean it.” he says, one of his hands found themselves caressing your cheeks as the other supported him while he hovered above you.

“you don't have to say it back or… feel it back…” satoru's voice was full of emotion.

“but just give me a chance to show you how much i love you. then we can work things out from there.”

you find yourself falling into the charms of gojo satoru. it's not everyday he offers his heart to someone. he doesn't offer it at all but now here he is, handing it to you on a silver platter.

“alright”

you could see satoru's face visibly light up and his blue eyes gleammed. he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

“thankyou” he traced his fingers on your jaw, his touch so soft, so addicting.

“you better treat me like a princess” you chuckle as he physically melted at the sound.

“oh i plan to do exactly that, and more, lovely.” he leaned down to place another kiss on your lips.

[slvttyplum]

random share but you know the "depressed geto who just needs you sooooo bad to feel better" fic trope? (me and my friend eat that shit up lol). i had a revelation of a related prompt: "geto who is no longer in a depressive ep and his drive is thru the roof" 🤪

suguru was wearing you the fuck out, you losing your breath and him tying his hair in a bun as you try to catch your breath, the same thing has been happening every single night and even twice a day if he felt like doing extra work.

suguru hasn't been doing the greatest the last three months, and you tried your hardest to help him, but he just needed time, and he got it, a random week he was back to him, feeling better and wanting to do different things, that including you, and he wasn't playing when it came to that.

his sex drive was through the roof and him jerking it wasn't helping shit, he needed your pussy sliding up and down on his every second, he didn't even want to slide out not to cum inside of you, he was disconnected to you and never wanted to disconnect, he didn't realize how much he missed you until you finally laid the pussy on him.

his eye twitching when he first had you slide onto him, that's when he realized he needed you every second of every day. suguru even took days off just to fuck you, he couldn't help it, it felt too good to just stop and pick it up at night, he was going to go on for hours and take advantage of the time he had with you.

“you're the one who took off, not me. i have to go to work.” a pout on your face as you stare at him moving in closer with a sly smirk on his lips as he takes his arm, wrapping it around your waist and moving in for a kiss, his other hand around your neck. he needed you so bad he could barely think, his dick pushing out his sweatpants, you could feel his bulge press against you.

“i'll pay you double what you would've made this whole week. please? i need you.” kissing you again before you toss your bag on the floor and him pushing you into the bed, wasting no time stripping off his sweatpants and getting to work. there was nothing else on his mind beside you, the only thing flashing throughout his head was your pretty smile and the nasty shit he was going to do to you.

those seven days he tore your ass up, you couldn't even form sentences in between what he was doing, your pussy still tingling even after he was thankfully out of you. his cum leaking out of you as you tried to catch your breath, his hands still rubbing over you as he laid in between your legs and played with you, your eyes going blurry from the tears that were forming in your eyes, light moans slipping out of your mouth, you could barely breathe.

your whole body covered with hickies and your knees bruised from you kneeling on the ground from suguru face fucking you, and some of his cum still in the back of your throat from before. it was like he was trying to test hard far he could get away with doing things before you finally told him to stop, but you never did, you just let him keep doing things because it felt too fucking good not too.

even though he was tearing you down and thrusting into you s hard you could barely breathe and tears were sliding down your pretty cheeks, it still felt good to have him inside of you, his dick stretching out your walls over and over again or his dick sliding on your tongue and his cum leaking in the back of your throat.

this was better than anything you've ever experienced and both you and suguru wanted to savor the moments where his sex drive was so high he didn't care he had to pay you back double the amount you would've gotten paid, he just needed you, or he was going to breakdown, you and only you.

your pussy tightening around him every time he finished inside of you, his dick still sliding in and out, the stimulation of how wet your pussy was and his cum mixing together to make lewd sounds, it drove him crazy. sweat forming on his naked body, falling onto your body with every thrust, his body still moving as he ties his hair up so that he can see your pretty expressions to everything he does to you.

pushing into you over and over with no care in the world if the neighbors hear or not, all he knew was that he wanted to be buried inside of you forever and always without a care in the world. his cheeks flushed red from staring into your beautiful eyes and your pussy squeezing around him tightly every time he said something.

his hand on your cheeks, his fingers pushing open your mouth as he slammed into you, gathering his spit and having it slip into your mouth slowing. the feeling of his warm spit sliding into your mouth made you roll your eyes and jerk with pleasure, shortly after closing your mouth with his. his tongue sliding over yours.

“ i love you so fucking much, you're mine.” his eyes piercing into yours as he slams into you once more, his cum leaking into you again, filling you whole.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

another chance

words: 2.3k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, ex!bf rafe, female receiving oral, p in v sex, unprotected sex, drinking/partying, mentions of drugs

“have you noticed his new girl is y/n’s twin?” kelce whispers to topper, who just nods in response. rafe claims that he’s completely over you, that he’s glad you broke up with him and he’s not harboring any sort of resentment over the fact that you left him.

“its so weird.” kelce continues, taking a sip of his drink, watching as rafe holds the new girl around the waist, but he barely looks at her, like if he keeps her in his peripheral vision that he can pretend its you, instead of the first girl he found whose features resemble yours.

“hes getting fucked up all the time now too. he showed up for golf the other day completely strung out.” topper informs kelce, who frowns.

they both know that there is nothing they can do, they don’t want to force you to get back with rafe if you don’t want to, especially with the state he’s in. rafe grabs the bottle of booze he was pouring into his cup repeatedly, forgoing the plastic solo cup in favor of drinking straight out of the bottle.

“rafey, are you gonna take me up to your bed?” the girl asks, no so subtly begging to be fucked by him.

“don’t call me that.” rafe grunts. only you can call him by that nickname, even if you did break his heart.

“are you going to fuck me or not, cameron?” she questions.

“not.” rafe says honestly. he thought it would help, to get it out of his system, to take a new girl to bed, but when he tried to kiss someone at the first party he attended after you, it made him so sick he had to leave. she didn’t look like you, she didn’t smell like you, she didn’t act like you. she wasn’t what rafe wanted.

“fine, then im leaving.” the girl stomps away, like anything could compare to you leaving. rafe finishes the rest of the bottle before flopping down on the couch, letting the alcohol flowing through his system lull him into unconsciousness.

--

“you deserve to go out and party as much as he does y/n.” stephanie sighs, trying to convince you to join her tonight at the huge beach bash, but you don’t want to risk running into rafe.

“i know, i just don't want to see him with another girl.” you sigh. you may have been the one to break it off with rafe, but you weren't fully over him yet.

“maybe you need to get with one of the turons.” stephanie shrugs. “you know what they say, to get over you gotta get under…”

“that actually might not be a bad idea.” you admit. maybe it's what you need to get rafe out of your system. a random hookup with someone you'll never see again to erase the memory of his touch from your body.

“so does that mean you're coming?” stephanie asks hopefully.

you nod, already planning what you're going to where tonight. “it does.”

--

“shit, remind me to take you out for ice cream or something to thank you for convincing me to come out tonight.” you tell stephanie, stumbling away from the main dance area with your best friend.

“girl, i knew you needed this!” she exclaims, taking a sip of her cup before frowning, realizing it's empty.

“ill go get us refills, hold on.” you are a lot less drunk than stephanie, so you guide her to sit down before heading to find more alcohol to fill both your cups, wanting to enjoy tonight as much as possible.

you finally find a plastic folding table with some bottles on it, and quickly refill both your drinks before turning, gasping when you run right into someone.

“y/n.” rafe gasps out, his eyes bloodshot like he's been crying. he drops to his knees before before you, making you raise your eyebrows. “i miss you so much. please take me back, ill do anything, ill-” rafe begins to beg, his words slurred as it's obvious he's been drinking.

“rafe.” you cut him off eventually. rafe stops speaking, hands coming to rest on the back of your calves as he looks up at you with pleading eyes. “you're drunk.”

“no, no, no.” rafes head drops, leaning to press kisses along your knees. “im drunk but im serious. please, just give me another chance, ill do anything.”

you frown, hating seeing rafe this way. you broke up with him because you thought he spent too much time getting high and needed to get control of his temper, and didn't know what you could do to help that beside let him work through it by himself. 

“anything, y/n.” rafe continues, his hands gripping your legs so tightly. you glance up, looking at all the people at the party staring at you, probably shocked that rafe would get on his knees and beg for anyone to come back.

“you need to stop doing drugs as often.” you state to rafe, making sure to keep your voice low enough to not have it in earshot. “and you gotta work on not getting so angry at the pogues. i don't care that you hate them but you can't constantly be getting into fights.”

“done.” rafe says, nodding his head. “i just need you. ive been a mess without you.”

“we can give it another shot.” you say, and rafes shoots to his feet, his lips pressing against yours. you set the cups down on the table next to you before kissing back, hearing a smattering of whoops and cheers as you make out, your head turning dizzy like the alcohol on rafes tongue is affecting your own.

“i need you, please.” rafe says, and you know exactly what he's asking for. it's what you've been desperately craving from him as well. your bodies were beyond compatible, and you know no boy would compare, so even in the period that you were broken up, you didn't even bother trying to sleep with anyone.

“i have to find stephanie.” you tell rafe, knowing you need to check your friend is good before doing anything, but you loop your fingers through rafes and tug him behind you until you get back to the main dance area, seeing topper with his arm slung around stephanies waist while she grinds against him.

“see she's good.” rafe says, his voice husky, and you know that he's already getting turned on just from the thought of having you again.

you let rafe lead you to his truck, parked in a somewhat isolated spot, but you don't care at this point if people see you as you both climb into the back seat.

“thank you for giving me another chance.” rafe says, his eyes shiny in the low lighting. “i missed you so much. i was such a wreck, but i didn't sleep with anyone else even though we were broken up. i only wanted you.”

“rafe.” you coo, pressing your lips against his, stroking your fingertips over his jaw. “i missed you too.”

“wanna show you how much it means to me.” rafe says, guiding you backwards until your back is against the seat. “that you're giving me a second chance.” his lips skim over yours before he moves lower, schooching down the seat until he's resting between your legs. he takes the bottom of your skirt and pushes it up, revealing your panties.

“you really do gotta-” your speech is cut off with a gasp when rafe presses his lips against your underwear, kissing your cunt through the fabric. 

“gotta what baby?” rafe asks, moving to kiss along your thighs as well, his teeth occasionally making an appearance as he drags them against your skin, nipping when you open your mouth to reply.

“gotta get your shit together since im giving you a second chance.” you finally finish your sentence.

“oh, i will baby.” rafe says, rubbing his fingertip over your center, smirking to himself when he sees the fabric dampened with your wetness. “i went so crazy without you, id do anything to not lose you again.”

“take them off, please.” you whine. rafe tugs at your panties, sliding them down your legs until he has to guide them over your heels. he takes the material and scrunches it up, tossing it onto his drivers seat. “i’m keeping those.” he informs you.

“whatever.” you roll your eyes but can’t hide your smile, reaching down to rub your thumb against his cheekbone. 

rafe sighs with relief into your touch, leaning his head against your hand. “i’ve missed your taste.” he licks his lips, eyes on your core.

you spread your legs as much as you can in the back of the truck, wishing momentarily that you were having this reunion in a bed, but you know rafe wouldn’t be able to wait that long.

rafe doesn’t hesitate to lean forward, burying his head between your legs. his wide tongue flicks through your folds, licking over your cunt before swirling around your clit.

“god, you’re so good at this.” you moan out, moving your hand to rafes hair, taking the strands between your fingers to keep his face shoved into your cunt, not that he plans on stopping any time soon.

rafe sucks at your clit, feeling rewarded by coaxing moans out of you. his hands grip your thighs, squeezing your delicate flesh between his fingertips.

rafe moves his mouth lower, letting out obscene sounds as he slurps the wetness away from your hole before pushing his tongue against the ring of muscle. he begins to thrust immediately, pushing his tongue in and out of your entrance, giving you the first stimulation you’ve had since you broke up.

“the sweetest taste.” rafe says when he pulls away slightly to kiss along your inner thighs. “i don’t know how i lived without it.”

“you know what my plan was for tonight?” you hum, needing more from rafe, even as his mouth drops back around your clit. “to get with a random turon to help myself get over you.”

you feel rafe pause, his entire body stilling before his eyes raise to make contact with yours. “you were going to sleep with someone else?”

“i couldn’t get over you, i had to do something.” you say, knowing exactly what rafes reaction will be as he rises, wanting to draw that fire and passion out in him. it didn’t matter that you were the one who broke up with rafe, you thought at the time it would be better for both of you, but now you know you can’t live without him.

rafe moves quickly, his strong hands gripping your hips and turning you over. you quickly adjust, pushing up on your elbows as you place your knees on the seat, arching your back to show off your cunt.

rafe releases himself from his shorts, tugging them down his thighs before he lines himself up, sinking in with one quick stroke. your walls meld to his cock, still feeling like you were made for him.

“imagining me sleeping with another guy has really got you worked up, huh?” you question, breath coming out in a pant as rafe instantly begins to thrust.

“shut up.” rafe groans, hips snapping forward into yours. “you’re mine. you’re never leaving me again.”

“yeah?” you question, bringing your ass back to meet rafes thrusts. “gonna get clean for me? gonna get it together?”

“anything for you.” rafe vows, glancing out the windows to make sure no one is looking as he takes you from behind, not that they would be able to see through the tint anyways.

you moan as rafe grabs your ass, relieved to finally have him inside of you again as his cock repeatedly enters you. rafe knows he can’t last very long, having been so desperate for you that he can’t hold himself back as your cunt clenches around him.

“feels so good rafey.” you whine.

“call me that again.” rafe says, needing to hear the nickname slip from between your lips again.

“rafey.” you call out. rafe flips you yet again, this time onto your back as he immediately reenters you, moving too fast for you to comprehend until his mouth is pressed against yours in a searing kiss.

“again, please.” rafe mumbles against your lips, bringing a hand to your clit and rubbing it with his thumb as he thrusts rapidly, knowing your next moan is going to send him over the edge.

you place your hands on the back of his head, giving him a strong kiss as he plays with your clit, your orgasm building as well. you pull away when you can’t hold back the moan anymore, “oh god, yes, rafey.” rafe groans, burying his head in your shoulder as he cums, pumping into you throughout his high as his thumb finally brings you to orgasm as well, clit pulsing as you both pant, letting out low moans and groans as your bodies come down.

rafe presses kisses to your cheeks, your jaw slackened open, still recovering. “i’ve missed your pussy so much.” rafe says before looking down, watching himself pull out.

“come here.” you whine, hating that he’s pulled away. rafe quickly tucks himself back into his pants before hovering over your body again, cuddling into your shoulder. it’s an awkward position, legs askew and body parts pressing against the doors of the truck.

“can i take you home? i want to hold you while i sleep, make sure i don’t let you go again.” rafe says, willing to beg if he needs to.

“of course.” you stretch out your sore muscles, eyelids already feeling heavy, but you know you just have to wait for rafe to drive you home before you can sleep.

it’s not awkward despite the time away from each other as you move to the front seat, making sure to text stephanie, who quickly responds with a picture of herself in toppers bed, making you giggle.

“i love you.” rafe blurts out, unable to not tell you when hearing your laugh.

“i love you too.” you lean over to kiss rafe on the cheek as he drives you back to his house, but you are already home as his fingers link with yours.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld

[joelscruff]

needy baby (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader) 18+

series masterlist | kofi | so this is FILTH. like. please heed the warnings before reading. i would recommend reading the rest of the series in order to really understand reader's headspace here, but if not, the previous part "wait" should be enough to make it make sense, as this does tie into what happened in that part. summary: joel takes care of you in every way you need. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: daddy kink, age gap, dirty talk, praise kink, unprotected p in v, creampies, comeplay, tummy bulge, size kink, mild free use, sub space (reader is very disconnected from reality), cockwarming, pussy eating, squirting, deepthroating, face fucking, wall sex, floor sex, AS I SAID.... FILTH word count: 4k

you practically live in joel's bed now.

it's only been three days since he picked you up at the bus stop, brought you back and took care of you the way he always has, the way he knows best. and he hasn't stopped since he finally admitted his feelings for you, face buried in your bare shoulder with his cock still deep inside of you.

he fucks you every morning. every afternoon. every night. you have absolutely no idea where he gets the stamina, how the fuck he's able to keep going and going, but you're certainly not complaining. your bodies have practically melded into one at this point, warm and sticky and safe amid groans and whimpers that match each other, heartbeats that pound at the same rhythm.

you shower - together. you take snack breaks - together. you sleep - together. and in between he fucks you in every possible position the two of you can manage, big hands roaming the softness of your body, the sheer size of him dwarfing you whenever he's on top, beneath, behind.

you find that ever since you reunited with him, you feel different. you feel sort of disconnected from reality, from the real world, everything you left behind that night. your parents don't know where you are - although you doubt they care very much. you've missed three days of classes, were supposed to turn in a paper yesterday morning. you're essentially dead to the world and you find that you like it. you like that only joel knows where you are. you like that only joel knows who you are, has always known.

you've never been so lost in this dynamic you share, never gone so long without saying his real name or simply being apart. sure, you've always let him take control in the moments you've shared, have always been the smaller, softer one in his big and capable hands, have wanted it that way - but never like this. a broad and seemingly unlimited time period spans in front of you; there's no rush, no sneaking around, no threat of being found out. you're completely at his mercy, letting him do anything he wants, enjoying him doing anything he wants.

he periodically checks to make sure that you're alright, that you still want what's happening. it's been three full of days of him practically controlling your autonomy, keeping you locked away from the rest of the world in his bedroom, and he's rightfully concerned, though not necessarily complaining.

"i want this," you reassure him softly for what feels like the tenth time, cupping the greying scruff on his cheek as you lie together on his bed after he fucked you deep into the mattress til you saw stars, "just wanna be yours for a while, daddy," you lean forward to brush your nose against his, eyelashes fluttering tiredly against your cheeks.

"you tell me the second anything changes, okay?" he whispers. his legs are tangled with yours beneath the sheets, soft hair tickling your bare ankles, "if it gets to be too much, we stop."

"i will," you whisper, then lean in to kiss him softly, "i promise."

--

"daddy, i'm gonna come again," you whine, legs close to giving out as he presses you up against the wall opposite his bed, his large body pinning you against the cool surface. he's so fucking deep, has made a home within the innermost parts of your body, so far inside you can feel the tip of his cock poking through the pouch at the bottom of your tummy.

"i know, baby, i know," he pants in your ear, thrusting harder and faster and deeper, your bodies pounding into the solid expanse of the wall, "come on that cock, sweet girl. make her sing, come on darlin'," his hands are gripping your hips so tightly, his lips sucking a mark into your shoulder alongside the dozens of others he's left there over the past few days.

you shake in his arms, eyes rolling back as desperate sounds tear from your throat, rip through the room like animalistic snarls. you go practically limp and he has to hold you up, doesn't stop moving, just keeps fucking and taking and using.

he finishes only a moment later, pulsing deep inside as he bites into the tender skin of your shoulder and gives all of it to you. you're still full of him from this morning, thighs sticky with everything that's dripped out over the course of the past few hours.

"so much, daddy," you whimper, feeling his grip on your hips lessen slightly, hearing him groan as his cock continues to twitch and pump you full of his release, "so much, can feel all of it."

"i know, babygirl," he whispers, voice positively wrecked, "gotta keep you so full, gotta make you remember who owns this little pussy, right?"

"right," you agree softly, forehead leaning wetly against the wall.

"and who owns it, baby?"

"you do, daddy," you whisper back.

"good girl," he nuzzles his face into your neck; you can feel the sweat dripping down his jaw, hear him trying desperately to catch his breath as he moans against your skin, "such a good fuckin' girl for your daddy. just made to take this fuckin' cock."

you're both only able to lean against the wall for another moment before you're completely exhausted. he's still so deep, cock softening but not moving, staying pressed firmly within your walls. his hand comes up to rest on your tummy, pressing kisses all over your shoulder.

"feelin' full, baby?" he murmurs, "feelin' good?"

"so good," you sigh, eyes closing and tears stinging behind your lids - good tears, happy tears, fucking joyous tears - "want you to fuck me again, daddy. do it again."

he makes a strangled noise into your skin and then starts walking backwards with you, arms wrapping around your middle and tugging you toward the bed. you both fall down onto it in a heap, still gasping for air but not wanting to part from each other unless absolutely necessary.

"how many times is that now?" he mumbles, chest heaving against your back.

"i don't know," you admit honestly. your head leans back to rest against his sticky shoulder, tangled hair dripping onto his chest. his hands come up to squeeze your breasts, pull you harder against him like he never wants to let go. and you know he doesn't.

"just wanna fuck you over and over again," he whispers, breath hot against your neck, "take care of you. wanna show you who you belong to."

"i belong to you," you breathe, opening your legs and peering down at where you're still connected.

"good girl," he groans, and his hips jerk as his cock twitches inside you, "good fuckin' girl."

you both lay there catching your breaths for about five more minutes before joel slowly pulls out of you, the wet squelch borderline pornographic in the silence of his bedroom. you both listen as your pussy releases some of his come, eyes trailing down to watch the warm white liquid dribble down onto the sheets.

"fuckin' full of me," he murmurs, reaching a hand down to thumb some of it back inside, cupping your pussy with the palm of his hand. you whimper, bucking into it and biting down hard on your lip.

you've never felt so desired in your life, so wanted and taken care of. you could fall asleep right now and know that you're safe, know that joel will make sure all your needs are met before he gives it to you all over again. this is all you've needed this whole time, from the moment you stepped through your ex boyfriend's door and came face to face with the man whose arms were so warm around you in that first hug, the same arms you nestle comfortably in now.

"i love you, daddy," you mumble softly, eyelashes fluttering as your exhaustion takes over, "love you so much."

"i love you too, babygirl," he breathes, pulling his hand up and hugging you from behind again, "rest now for a little while."

--

he runs you a bath and wakes you when it's full, carries you to the bathroom and places you inside the tub. you drift off again as he washes you, wipes you clean of all the sweat and tears and come, stays with you until he has to wake you up again to dry you off. you're nothing more than a doll in his arms, pliant and loose, allowing him to touch you everywhere he needs to before carrying you back to bed where he's already replaced the sheets.

he makes you a snack - popcorn, your favorite. feeds it to you with a knowing look that makes you squirm under his gaze. as he pops a kernel into your mouth you find yourself wrapping your lips around his finger and thumb, tongue slowly licking off the butter and salt. you push the popcorn to the back of your cheek and instead focus entirely on sucking joel's fingers, wet and tight.

"oh babygirl," he breathes, voice soft, "need daddy's cock again, huh? need to suck on it, don't you?"

you nod, already desperate, eyes big and round as he pushes his fingers further into your mouth, presses down on the back of your tongue. you swallow around him lewdly, eyes watering.

"open," he whispers, and you obey, only for him to slowly pull his fingers out - along with the popcorn in your cheek - and then stand up by the edge of the bed, reaching for his zipper, "nice and wide, baby."

a moment later you're choking on the thick length of his cock, the tip prodding the back of your throat while he tangles his fingers in your hair and peers down at you calmly, eyes dark, hips slowly thrusting.

"thaaat's it," he whispers, helping you move your head back and forth as he fucks your face, "there you go, sweet girl. that's what you needed, huh?"

your head is swimming, eyes full of tears, heart full of love and devotion as you lock your gaze with his and moan around his cock. his brow furrows as he looks at you, nods in your direction with eyes that soothe and relax you.

"daddy's good little girl," he murmurs, and pride swells in your chest.

--

he goes down on you a lot. especially in the morning, when you're just slowly waking up and don't have the energy to get on all fours or climb on top of him to ride. he crawls down beneath the sheets and noses your puffy pussy lips, presses kisses all over the parts that feel raw and tender. he laps at your folds, eyes hooded and hazy like he's enjoying a delicacy he's never experienced before, every single time.

"poor baby," he murmurs, pulling back to pull apart your lips and peer down at your fucked-out hole, "so used, honey," he licks a stripe up your pussy and you writhe in the sheets, "daddy used her all up, huh?"

you look down at him with a pout, eyes large and innocent, "she likes getting used, daddy," you whisper.

"i know she does," he agrees quietly, then slowly prods his tongue inside, licking at your pulsing walls and sucking on all your favorite spots, leaving you a whimpering and whining mess above him.

he makes you squirt, something you only discovered you could do yesterday, something he's now made you do at least six times since that first time. your wetness coats his lips, his chin, drips down his jaw all over the sheets as he leans back in and laps up every drop he can manage. your eyes roll back, hoarse cries croaking past your lips as another steady stream of your release practically pistons into his mouth. he groans as he swallows, low and deep.

--

it's dirty. it's intense. it's real.

you find yourselves splayed together on the floor of his bedroom on the third day, nothing but a throw blanket between your bodies and the hardwood. your head rests against the soft expanse of his tummy, the hair above his belly button tickling your ear as he breathes in and out.

he just fucked you so good. practically bent you in half against the floor with your ankles dangling by your ears. he was so deep; so fucking deep that he had you screaming for him, screaming so high and loud and wild that he'd had to cover your mouth before the neighbors called the cops. he'd let out a multitude of his own loud noises when he'd come inside you, holding you still while he filled you to the brim and then released his hand from your mouth so you could let out one last pathetic whine.

now he cards his fingers through your hair, hums something soft and angelic somewhere above you while you drift in and out of consciousness. you've never felt so close to another person in your life.

"so sleepy, babygirl," he whispers in between his humming, scratches a pleasant spot behind your ear, "all tuckered out, huh?"

you make a quiet noise of agreement, nestling your cheek further into the squishy warmth of his belly. his cock rests low and flaccid only a few inches away, a sight that makes your mouth water all over again. you're starting to wonder if you'll ever be sated. you don't ever want to leave this room.

"daddy's gonna run another bath for you," he murmurs, "that sound nice?"

you nod, still unable to really say anything. your body aches, your jaw is sore, your skin is covered in love bites and small bruises. a bath sounds very nice right about now.

"you doin' okay, baby?" he adds softly, still running his fingers through your hair, "you with me?"

you're not really sure how to answer that. you still don't really feel like yourself. he knows that too, but just wants to check and make sure you're still in this headspace. he's probably wondering when you're ever going to come out of it. if you're ever going to come out of it.

"i'm with you, daddy," you mumble, pressing a featherlight kiss to his tummy, "i'm here."

--

you can miss class, but joel can't miss work, at least not for long. he's eased himself of a few of his duties, handed some stuff over to his employees via email, but there are certain things he can't avoid for very long. luckily though, he can work from home.

early on the fourth day - after eating your pussy for about twenty minutes and making you come three times - he leans against the headboard with his laptop placed precariously on his belly and answers some emails, does his best to do some of the work he's behind on. you sleep for most of it, but wake up when you hear him chatting to someone on the phone beside you.

"gonna have to change that," he's saying quietly, cell pressed up against his ear, "the crew's not gonna be happy."

you peer up at him with a sleepy expression, blinking a few times. he only notices you've woken up when you stretch your arms above your head, breasts peeking out from under the sheets - you see his gaze drop to them immediately.

he points to the cell and makes a face, mouthing sorry and rolling his eyes, making you giggle. he wastes no time in reaching over and squeezing one of your breasts in his palm, then starting to toy with your hardening nipple as he continues the conversation.

"no, that won't work either," he says, pinching it between his thumb and finger and making you jolt a bit, "last thing we need is another person quittin' on us for shit we coulda prevented."

you look up at him, dazed and already wet underneath the sheets as he rolls your nipple between his fingers over and over, the corner of his mouth twitching up when you inch a bit closer to him, pushing your chest out for easier access.

"how about we just do what was already suggested?" joel continues, and you watch his eyes grow dark when you pull the sheet down and expose your naked body to him in its entirety, opening your legs and showing him your already glistening pussy, still wet and juicy from his saliva and your arousal, "yeah," he says, voice hitching a bit, "yeah, that's good."

he closes his laptop and places it on the nightstand, then turns back to you and carefully pulls down his own side of the sheet with one hand, showing you his equally naked body - and hardening cock.

"that should work," he says quietly, then points to his length, tilting his head slightly as he peers into your eyes, "yeah, that's what we need."

you climb into his lap, wasting no time in taking hold of his cock and positioning it at your entrance. you sink down onto it with hooded eyes, mouth popping open as he fills you with a calm expression, still talking on the phone.

"good," he says, "that sounds good. that's what we'll do."

you're still tired and achy, not really able to hold yourself up properly from everything your body has been through over the past three days. riding him was so much easier on that first day when your thighs didn't feel so sore. as if he can read your mind he wraps an arm around your back and pulls you in so you're chest to chest, allows you to place your chin on his shoulder as you bottom out on his length and sigh delicately in his ear. he trails his fingers up and down your back, noses your ear gently.

"so, what about the transportation issue?" he asks into the phone, tightening his arm around you and holding you still on his cock, like he just wants you to sit there until he's done the conversation - something you have absolutely no issue doing. "uh huh, yeah, that'll need to be in writing."

you stay connected like that for the next half an hour, pussy throbbing continuously around his length and getting wetter and wetter the longer he drones on and on with whoever it is from his company that's got a matter so pressing it couldn't be done through an email. hearing the faint sound of another person talking sends a sort of recognition into your brain you hadn't been expecting - a reminder that other people actually exist outside of this bedroom, that life is continuing to go on.

you can feel the spell starting to be broken and you're not sure how it makes you feel.

by the time he finally hangs up the phone you find that you've started to come back to some semblance of reality, whatever your reality is at this point. you remember that you have a phone somewhere, in your bag - wherever that's ended up in the clutter of joel's room - and that you might have unread messages, missed calls. you remember the fact that you had a paper to turn in and it sends a wave of anxiety to the pit of your stomach. you remember why you're here in the first place, how awful the other night had been until joel picked you up.

joel hangs up the phone and tosses it to the side, then wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer, buries his nose in your neck and breathes in.

"you're such a good girl, baby," he murmurs, big hands traveling skillfully up and down your spine, "so patient on daddy's cock."

you don't say anything, brow furrowed and expression completely out of his view as you hitch your chin on his shoulder and dig your fingers into his back.

"need to be fucked, baby? or do you just wanna sit on it for a little while longer?" he still hasn't sensed a change, still waiting to make the decisions, half expecting you to mumble something incoherent.

"um, actually," you say softly, voice gravely and dry, "i think... i think i need some air."

he pulls back immediately to peer at your face, eyebrows going up in surprise when he sees you. you're not sure how you've appeared to him over the past few days, probably had a permanent look of ecstasy on your face, innocent and naïve, oblivious to everything. he must see something different now; recognition, realization, something that shows you're coming out of it.

"of course," he breathes, hands going down to carefully pull you up from his cock. you wince at the strain of your muscles as you lift yourself from his lap and settle on the bed again, making a face. you feel his finger on your chin as he tilts your head up to look at him, expression one of pure concern and love.

"are you back, babygirl?" he asks softly, eyes soft, "feelin' like yourself again?"

you swallow around the lump in your throat, nodding slowly as tears blur your vision, "i think so," you hiccup, "and i don't like it."

--

he sits with you on his back patio, lets you lean against the solidness of him on the wooden steps as you stare out at the trees and grass, the blue expanse of sky and singing birds.

you cry for a long time. you don't really know why.

--

he makes you pasta for dinner, puts on cheesy 80s music and dances dorkily around the kitchen as it boils in the pot. you sit on a stool by the island and just shake your head at him with a genuine smile and tired eyes, hair wet from your first shower without him in days. you're wearing your own clothes again, freshly washed. you feel a bit more yourself now.

things are starting to make a bit more sense as time passes. you figure it all caught up to you that night, much more than you'd realized. you'd thought it would all be okay once you were back in joel's embrace, but you'd still been running from things you couldn't face. the things you'd been through, the things you'd done.

"you just needed to... not think for a while," joel tells you softly as his fingers card through your hair later that night. you both lie together in the dewy grass of his backyard, staring up at the stars, breathing in the cool air. "that's the only way i can think to explain it."

you nod slowly, biting your lip, "i was so annoying," you say with a grimace, "like i literally demanded every second of your attention, didn't i? i'm so sorry."

"babygirl, i am not complaining," he murmurs with a chuckle, pulling you in a bit closer, "it was nice. it was... fun."

you smile, "it was. it was fun."

you cuddle with him as the evening turns into night, quiet and safe. you never thought you'd get to this point, never thought you'd ever be able to just exist with him, just be.

"my only complaint," he suddenly says, a bit of a grumbly edge to his voice, "is that i think i destroyed my back."

you snort, bringing your hand up to cover your mouth.

"i'm serious," he groans quietly, nosing your hair, "i'm gonna have to go to a chiropractor after all that."

you can't help but laugh, pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw as you smile up at him.

"sorry, daddy."

[miniimight]

DISAPPEARING ACT . rindou often disappears for weeks at a time, showing up at home as if it's nothing. a brief exchange triggers a factory reset in him, but you're not as open to it as he expected you to be...

prompt used "better than me disappearing for good. / is it?"

with married!rindou + fem!reader

warnings cursing. a lot of cursing. angst? rindou is an idiot and possessive.

you never got to see your husband anymore. so much so that you considered the chance of it happening next to nothing. you knew what you were getting into being in an relationships with him; lots of meetings and flights to other cities all meant extended time away from home.

you would've been a little more forgiving had he chosen to tell you these things. but no. morning after morning, you wake up to him gone without a trace, without consideration for how you feel. was he alive? was he with someone else? did he not care enough to call or even send a text?

it was as if you lived alone, and a stranger crashed at your place every once in a while. and while you shared polite exchanges, no amount of small talk could overshadow how bleak your marriage was.

it was eleven days before he showed up again. you were, surprisingly, awake when he returned. he was perfectly groomed, albeit a little jaded, but still regarded you with the same coldness you endured since he started leaving. you missed the warmth of your younger days, where he would hold you close and reassure you that you were meant for each other for life.

you decided today was as good a day as any. heck, he even might be gone tomorrow and it would be like you didn't say anything.

"i'm tired of you disappearing for days and then coming back like it was nothing." you said plainly.

he slipped out of his shoes, looking down at you. rolling his eyes lightly but sighing heavily, he started to pull off his tie. "better than me disappearing for good."

a wry smile spread on your face. oh, if he only knew. "is it?"

those two words sent an arrow straight through his heart.

rindou was silent, pretending as if he didn't hear what you just said. but when you scoffed and walked away, he knew it was too real for him to overlook.

"you don't mean that." it was less of a question and more of a please, don't mean it.

you shrugged and went back to your phone, too benumbed to even look at him.

he stared at you, utterly confused as to how to tackle this. "y/n." he said firmly.

you slowly raised your head to meet his eyes, void of any care. "what?"

"i said, you don't mean that." he stood like a tree in the middle of the living area, palms growing sweaty. he loved you. he couldn't lose you, not when you both went through so much to get here.

"don't i?" you responded, placing your phone beside you. not like i see you anymore, anyway. what's the difference?

"stop fucking talking like that and answer me." he snarled. you rolled your eyes, rising to your feet.

"look, rin. who the fuck cares what i think or say? certainly not you." you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "just—just forget i said anything." you turned towards your bedroom. "goodnight."

wait. he lunged forward, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him, backing you against a wall. caging you with arms on either side of you, he stared into your soul, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of you.

you just stared back.

his heart clenched. yeah, he was away for weeks at a time. of course he didn't tell you. why would he? why would he burden you with that information?

"you really think me going away forever is better?" his voice was a whisper, but held the sharpness of a knife. "huh? you want me gone forever?"

you sighed. "i didn't say i wanted that. i just meant that, either way, it doesn't matter. going away forever, going away for weeks and weeks but only staying for a night..." your eyes met his, glossy but fierce. "it's the same to me. i don't care what the hell you do anymore, rindou. just let me go to bed."

he studied the person he truly loved for so long, wondering when it all went downhill.

you were impatient, ducking under his arms. "shit..." you cursed, rubbing the back of your neck as you walked away.

he watched you go. and he never saw you come back.

the next morning he woke up, expecting to see you in the kitchen or watching tv, but his house was empty.

"y/n?" he called out. no answer. he pulled up his phone. no texts, no calls. he bustled around the house, looking for some indication of where you went and he found nothing.

he called his brother, thinking that he was the next best person you would've gone to, but ran had no contact from you.

rindou sat on the couch, nothing to do but sit and wait. he looked around. everything was well-kept, pristine, and sanitized. it was like no one lived here at all. no one except a lonely spouse in an eternal cycle of wait for a husband that wouldn't even give them the time of day to say, i'm heading out.

i love you.

goodbye.

he leaned back, closing his eyes. he doesn't even say goodbye.

he hated himself for it.

hours passed and he didn't move from the couch. he knew you sat there for much longer, day after day, waiting for him. no wonder you were uncaring. coming home meant nothing if he would simply leave again.

then he heard the click of the door. he practically jumped off the couch, racing over to the entrance. he saw you with a couple groceries hooked on your forearms, struggling to keep the door open long enough for you to slip inside.

he rushed over. yanking the door open with such force, it slammed into the wall causing you to jump. rindou winced a little, steadying the door from swinging wildly.

you eyes met his and your face immediately scrunched with confusion. "what are you doing here?"

"well... it's my house..?" he said dumbly.

you pressed your lips into a line. "hm."

you expected me to be gone again, he thought bitterly. he cleared his throat. "let me help you with these," he alleviated the weight off your arms, bunching up a couple bags and carrying them all in one go. "you know, you could just order them for delivery."

you sidestepped him and walked to the kitchen. "why would i do that?"

"so you can have them brought to you from the comfort of your home." he responded lightly. following robotically, he was unsure where everything was supposed to be put away.

you laughed, catching him off-guard. on closer inspection, though, he knew that wasn't a genuine laugh. "rindou, do you think i want to stay in this place any more than i have to?"

you said it so casually, grabbing a bag from him and stocking the cabinets and fridges.

his stomach swirled with much more unease than he'd ever experienced on the job. it was the way you simply didn't care anymore, talking about the rift between you and him as if you were reciting the weather report.

fight me, he wanted to say. kick, yell at me, scream at me, do anything at all to show me you're upset. he knows he fucked up. you definitely know he fucked up. so why weren't you telling him that? why weren't you cursing him out for being a bad husband? your nonchalance came from a long time being cast aside, so much so that you expected it to happen; so much so that you gave up on him.

indifference was the final nail in the coffin of your marriage, and you were about to bang it shut.

he observed you, thinking about how many times you'd busy yourself with mundane errands to feel like you were living. how many times you'd come back to this flat, putting away shit you'd probably never touch. how many times you'd listen to the silence ringing off the walls.

he set the bags down and held your shoulders, turning you to face him. "i've taken the next few days off."

you smiled insincerely. "great."

rindou felt like a kid again, when he had work up enough courage to ask you out. "we... we could spend them together."

your eyes squinted. "why?"

he spluttered. "what do you mean, why?"

you swatted his hands off your shoulders. "god, i shouldn't have said anything," you mumbled. "rindou, this is just you feeling guilty because of what i said last night, okay?"

he frowned. "it's not."

your eyebrows raised as you rummaged through another grocery bag. "it is. don't pretend like you're gonna change. what did you think we were going to do—go out together? like old times, when we were happy and in love?"

his face burned. anyone else—if it were anyone else speaking so flippantly with him, he'd have them beat til they're unconscious. and past tense? when we were in love? his brain was doing backflips trying to find a way to salvage the situation. "yes."

you laughed that fake laugh again. it grated on his ears. "that's funny. i was just feeling a little vulnerable last night, is all. had a couple of drinks and maybe was feeling sentimental about the days when everything was simple."

rindou stepped closer to you, ripping the bag away from your hands and towering over you. "it is simple. we can—"

"we can't do anything." you curled your hands into fists, your voice trembling. "can you just..?" go away?

rindou's breath caught in his chest, fully anticipating another heartless laugh.

he hated it when you cried. he hated it when you were angry. he would do anything for your eternal happiness, he realized, and he'd been falling short of his promises for far too long.

rindou leaned onto the counter, bending at the waist. his hand rested on your waist and his eyes were laser focused on your expression, a confusing mix of frustration, sadness, and the will to remain emotionless.

"baby," he whispered.

"don't fucking call me baby." you hissed.

he pursed his lips, unwilling to compromise. "pretty baby. i don't wanna go on like this." his fingers brushed your cheek. "i don't want to you to be sad anymore."

"well, isn't that righteous." you rolled your eyes though your heart ached. it ached for him, for the boyfriend he was and the husband he promised to be.

he glared at you. "would you just listen?"

"no, rindou." you shoved him away from you, despite the overwhelming urge telling you to pull him in and hug him tight. "stop acting like i'm the one making things difficult. like you're being a fucking saint trying to bring us back together when the only reason we're like this is because of you." your voice became watery, growing in volume as you finally succumbed to all the hurt and pain inside you.

"i tried to be understanding." you sobbed. "i did. i tried. you have your work and i know that it's dangerous. but seriously—you promised you'd make time for me. you promised." you sniffed, rubbing tears off your cheeks, ranting without any goal in mind. "you don't even say goodbye."

he stood frozen, your emotions hitting him square in the face and leaving him dazed. it was like the only thing he could do was stand and watch.

"i didn't want to do this." you said tearfully. "i'm sorry i said anything, okay? i'm sorry. just—leave me alone."

his eyes narrowed. "never. i'm never leaving."

your glassy eyes shot up to meet his with a hard look of their own.

"i love you, y/n. and i'm never letting you go." he said firmly, stepping closer and closer to you. he was done beating around the bush; you should know that no matter how many times you push him away, he will never leave you. he'd make up for his mistakes; all you had to do was give him a chance.

you scoffed. "love? you love me?"

he caged you against the opposite counter with two arms on either side of you. "yeah. i do."

you stared up at him, tears staining your cheeks. "you're a liar."

"y/n." he growled—a warning.

"can't go back into the world having the poor little wife weighing on your conscious, is that it?" you snapped. "never stopped you before."

"y/n."

"no." you ducked under his arm, leaving the kitchen. you evaded his attempts to pull you back, running to the closet. grabbing a coat and your purse, you slipped on your shoes.

"where the fuck are you going?" rindou yelled after you. "this conversation isn't over."

"it is for me." you mumbled, throwing the front door open and ignoring the fire in the pit of your stomach. you got into your car and started it up. the garage opened at an agonizing pace, enough time for rindou to come bursting out the door. he stood at your window.

"y/n, you are not leaving. get out of the car."

"fuck off." you grit your teeth, your eyes raising to the rearview mirror to reverse. you screeched to a halt when you saw rindou's purple hair in the reflection. you gaped, rolling down your window and whipping your head to face him. "are you insane? move!"

he shook his head, standing in all his glory right behind the car. his arms were crossed and his weight rested on one hip; the picture of stubbornness. "you're gonna have to run me over."

you scoffed, laughing breathlessly at the absurd situation. "i'll call the police."

"you won't."

you grabbed your phone. "i will, don't try and stop me from leaving."

"you won't call the police, and you wanna know why?" rindou let his head fall to his shoulder. "you love me. i know you do."

you opened your mouth to retort.

"don't even try to deny it." he chuckled lowly. "you're just protecting yourself, baby. you're protecting yourself from the nightmare you call a husband, right?"

your eyes rounded, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

he walked to your side of the car, reaching through the opening to flick the window button. he slipped his hand out as it began to slowly slide back up.

"leave, then. just know i'm not going to stop my efforts to get you back." he smiled as he went back into the house.

the window closed completely.

you were brimming with annoyance, yet you couldn't help but feel a pang of heartache when you pulled out of the driveway, leaving your house—and rindou—behind.

this was so self-indulgent lol. i know they mean well, but when people apologize so quickly and with such intensity, i just get frustrated that i had to get to such a low point to see any remorse or change from them. and of course, i can't argue without crying my eyes out. anyway, do we want a part two?

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3

[kaizynofsickness]

Brain is rotting

Boyfriend!Sukuna headcanons (fluff/general relationship, angst, smut), true form Sukuna. MDNI

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who was insanely fond of you when he first met you, in his own sick and twisted ways. He wouldn't stop thinking of you, and for a second he thought you were powerful enough to make his brain disfunctional and think of you only. Until he leaned what it is called—he was aware of the emotion, just hated the feeling—love.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who wants to have you to himself already. I mean, you're so tiny compared to his all mighty four armed monstrous form, eyes glaring down at you. So what if your scared? Scared that he'll kill you when you're the one killing him, heart and brain all in one.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who will never admit it, but is dying to see you. Well, as much as he can get close to dying. He isn't needy and up your ass like someone else, he can go without your voice for a week.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is highly interested in the way you speak. Telling him that whenever you're away from him and waiting you're 'screaming and biting your fist.' at first, he thought it was funny to imagine. Until he grabs a hold of your fist, almost aggressively. "Stop biting yourself like a dog." His way of saying, I'm highly concerned. Please don't hurt yourself.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who has fun with you to an extent when you help him rearrange his domain for the 100th time. It was nice having a partner to do his work with him.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is never fully out of character. Not even when you get your period. Yeah, he'll still hug you and allow you to lean on him, rub your back with his large and veiny hands. But don't expect much. He isn't going out of his way to help you because your bleeding. Blood is normal, and from what he heard it's not blood from a wound. So why complain?

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna and his way of using his rough hands to message you stomach and sides. "I am not your slave bitch." He grumbles and complains constantly about how you have him doing this and not the other way around. What is he to you, you mere human?

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is as possessive as he looks. Someone staring at you for too long? "'kuna, why is my friend missing?" Is what he expects to hear days later after the incident of the persons eyes lingering on you body for too long. "Dunno." He would brush it off quickly.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna who often makes sexist jokes. Like if you somehow can't cook right or lack amazing skills, he'll pop out that sexist joke of you being a terrible housewife.

Fluff!Boyfriend!Sukuna will regret saying some jokes like that if they end up hurting your feelings more than he intended them to. He won't apologize immediately and it will be a salty ass sorry. But next time you walk out to cook or do dishes, he will yank you away from that spot and let you watch him do it himself.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna started to hate how he acts around you. Either he's too mean and makes you cry or too nice and makes himself cringe. He misses how he used to be before you rotted his core with that dumbly cute smile.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who bites his tongue for the things he wants to say to you when you act out of line. Who clenches his fist until his nails dig blood out of his skin because he wants to cave you into a wall so bad. Yet he knows he'll loose you. So for once, he hurts himself. Not someone else.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who's arguments get heated really quickly. Sometimes, it's petty little things like why he burned you house down to force you to live with him or why he kicked a dog you actually liked, but it can get serious. Like when he's hurting someone for touching you innocently. That's when he ghost you for the longest.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who almost took a sort of pleasure in your tears, as toxic as that sounds. When he was arguing, you decided to simply cry. If you were a normal bitch, he would've killed you. But you looked so pretty with wet strands of hair on your forehead and tears streaming down your flushed cheeks. He fought off a smile at your weak state.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna as shocking as it seems, wants to be better for for you. He wants to stop wanting to see you cry and wishing he could watch you burn sometimes. Because he loves you. Really. Yet for all those months you teased him by not being his, maybe you deserve to cry.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna who gets upset when you get upset. You could be mad at somebody, and he will be mad with you. But if you're mad at him, he will be absolutely enraged with you. So much that he will lock you in his domain and not that you leave. Who told you to talk to him like that? Who told you to tell him who he can kill and who he cannot? Maybe being in a room full of bloody skulls will shut you up.

Angst!Boyfriend!Sukuna—"Woman." He angerily calls out before stomping to the room you kicked you in and made you stay locked up. He opens the door to see you, upset and fuming yet scared and sad. The sight almost hurts him. He'll bend down, scoop your small frame up into his four arms, one hand holding your rear end and the other one stroking your hair, the other two bear hugging you. "Forgive me..." He gives you the best apology he can. Only to go back and do the same thing again.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who is a bitch in bed. If you think he's toxic when he's in public or chilling, wait until he unleashes hell on you with two cocks.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who won't pathetically masturbate for you. He'll call your ass near him, legs spread wide open and his dicks already wet from his own pre as he smears it on the tips. He waits before motioning you to come with a coy smirk. "Ride." Is all he has to say and all he will say.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who most definitely will take advantage of his ability to spawn mouths anywhere and using is four arms to its fullest ability. When fucking your from behind? A hand will slide under, palming your pussy before a tongue lashes onto your clit and desperately sucks orgasms out of you.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna doesn't waste any time as soon as he is inside you. You can already feel mouth forming on his dick and licking your walls. You have never felt anything like this, virgin or not. With every fast and steady pump of dick, tongues run wild and lick along your clenching cunt.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna or the simple act of a pair of hands holding your waist to help you hop on his dick and the other two gripping your tits. He loves when they bounce. Yet, with your back facing to him or not, he pinches your nipples and hold them so when they bounce up and down doesn't hurt so much. Because he has you trained like a good whore to ride him hard and nice or else your ass will be bruised and red.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who loves to use his size and two cocks to intimidate your small cunnie and body. He find how your hole is basically begging to be stuffed yet your dumb little mouth won't stop talking and saying that he's too big funny. When once he fingers the mess out of you, at least half of his cock could fit in.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who sits on his thrown and thinks if he should edge you or overstimulate you today.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna seeing you beg for his cock inside—the same one that you complained was too big—with dewy eyes clouded with lust and needy, rubbing your clit right in front of him, humiliating yourself for some dick. Makes him go feral.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna or the misunderstood bubbles coming from you as you actually try to run away from his dicks, yet when he has you in a mating press with both your gaping holes right there, full of cum and cock, he ain't stopping. He watches with a smile at your tear stained face, glossy and kissed bruised lips quivering with every desperate cry of his name. Why have two holes in the same area when he can't stuff them? It feels so surreal for you—one of his dicks twitching to orgasm as the other isn't even used enough and pumping you like he hates you.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who buys (or steals) all of the hardcore lingerie are bondage toys just to use them till they break or ripping the clothes right off of you. When you sit in his throne, red silk robes and a lace bra just below your nipples, watching you touch yourself through the shear laced panties that were soaked, makes him wanna kiss down your small dainty, delicate legs. And he kneels down you legs, in between before his teeth shread the pretty clothing. You're the only woman he'll ever get on his knees for. For that pussy.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who loves to have sex in public. If anyone happens to see, it's not like he can't just kill them on sight. But he enjoys watching you squirm and desperately trying to push his large body away from your small one. He loves when people start getting suspicious when they hear wet squelching sounds. Not only does he have to cup his hand over your mouth to shut you up, but now he has to deal with a sobbing pussy all over his dick.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna he keeps telling you to keep it down, shoving you into deep and bruising kisses. With the way you moan like you're taking five guys at once, it's like you wanna get caught.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who will never admit it, but you can tell just by the way he acts, he is pussy whipped. He just loves the way his inhumanly large and thick cock glides and disappears inside that tiny hole and reappear, covered in your arousal and slick. Or the first person up close view of your throbbing clit, waiting for his tongue.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna who takes a hit in spanking you. Not even with his hands. With a belt, or maybe with a whip, paddle. He'll give you a good 10 licks before finally giving you a break. Sometimes, he does it as a punishment. Making you count and leaving you in tears.

Smut!Boyfriend!Sukuna he leaves your ass red and stinging. He'll be as nice as to run up and down on your ass and add cream, cooing and telling you how good you counted. Or if you miscounted the amount, he'll end up giving you some more, with his hands or fucking you even more brain dumb.

Who wants a fic of this, fluff, angst, or smut?

˚꩜⋆.°⭑Do not copy, translate, or steel in any way, reblogs are appreciated and allowed.

@kaizynofsickness

[cordeliawhohung]

You created a monster in me with underboss!Simon and now you must take responsibility.

Please feed my new addiction with relationship headcanons 😩😩😩. I love him and Shy!reader.

i've created so many monsters y'all gotta stop biting at my ankles or at least start paying rent or smth <3 also i'm still trying to work out a lot of the dynamics of the relationship between them so this is still a little bare boned but i hope you enjoy!

mafia!141 masterlist <3

warnings: mostly fluff :3 simon is a bit of a prick lol, fem!reader,

just in case anyone missed it, this is how underboss!Simon and shy!Reader meet <3

it takes a brutally long time for the two of you to start dating. a brutally long time.

and it isn't for lack of trying on Simon's end. he manages to get your number somehow (i hear Soap is very tech savvy...) and asks you out the week after the dinner at John's house, only for you to decline.

which is fine. he can take rejection. but this is... different. you're too kind when you say no. you're not saying it because you think you're too good for him, you're saying it because of something else, and Simon can tell the difference but can't exactly tell what it is.

it drives him nuts for a long time. you were supposed to be just another number in his phone for a booty call. he's used to getting pretty much anything he wants, after all, but even then it shouldn't have bugged him as much as it did. maybe it was because he liked the way you looked at him. not with disgust. not with some lustful intention. you were... soft. kind, even.

as for you? you think it's crazy how this 6'4", ripped, and kind guy showed interest in you. you, someone too anxious for her own good, someone who said no because it was less scary than committing to something. and you hate yourself for rejecting him.

so in an effort to stay close to him, you text him pretty often. you send him pictures of things you see or run into during your day. something funny at work, a cool rock you found in someone's garden, the spider that decided to make its home in your shower. and sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to the poor man ):

this goes on for a long while. just simon being a stupid man, not wanting to push your boundaries after you already rejected him, and you being too anxious to fix things and ask him yourself.

eventually, by some miracle (that i might write more about later because like i said BARE BONES) the two of you get together. and it's... interesting. simon isn't really used to dating. like properly. he's used to buttering a girl up, going back to her place for a quick fuck, and then only seeing her whenever either of them are too bored and horny to function. but with you it's nothing like that at all. there's no sex on the first date, not even a damn kiss, and he finds himself craving you more than ever because of it. wanting to be around you all the time, wanting to hear about your day.

man is fucking obsessed.

he treats you like a princess. he only ever really spent his money on stupid shit but now he can spend it on you! you never ask for anything, but god forbid if you express that anything, be it clothes or otherwise, looks cute because he will buy it for you, no matter how awkward you are at receiving gifts.

also! because he's so big and somewhat brutish, no one fucks with you when you're in public together. annoying kiosk clerks trying to aggressively sell you something? one look from him and they're gone. someone messed up your order but you're too anxious to ask them to fix it? he's advocating for you.

because of him, you find yourself growing less afraid and anxious of things. he teaches you how to be brave, and you teach him how to be soft. there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you <3

oh also btw he's in the mafia. he might have forgotten to mention that... hope that doesn't freak you out or anything. don't worry about the blood on his shirt or the bruises on his face or the cuts on his arms or... oh god you look like you're going to cry. it's nothing, sweetheart! promise! stop trying to take him to the hospital!

also, some sorta unrelated comments: i think shy!reader is def a hostess at a restaurant. i feel like simon would hang out at the restaurant too just to be around you. he'd also slip you a tip, even though you tell him you make hourly and don't depend on tips.

"consider it my way of saying thanks for sitting us at the table with the best view."

the view is you, btw.

AHHH i'm sorry this was such a mess? i have so many jumbled thoughts but i'm glad i was able to get some of them out and i hope they were somewhat enjoyable al;kdjf i'll be working on a short drabble/oneshot for him over the weekend, so i'm hoping that'll make up for this <3

[dreamescapeswriting]

Move At Your Own Pace ~ BC [MATURE WARNING]

⤜WORD COUNT: 1.8K

⤜GENRE: SMUT MINORS DNI!!! Virgin!Chan, hand job, praising Chan, soft, established relationship

⤜PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - April 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

As you stepped through the door of your cosy apartment, the scent of dinner greeted you, mingling with the warmth of home making you relax as you kicked off your shoes, making your way toward your bedroom where you knew your boyfriend would be waiting for you. Chan was always waiting for you there after you'd had a long day a work, waiting and ready with cuddles to make sure your day would end on a good note.

The two of you had been together for almost a year now and he'd moved in a few months ago, since he spent so much time at your place it only seemed logical for him to move in permanently with you and it was something you loved.

Waking up in his arms every morning was a gift, something you weren't going to take for granted. 

"Channie?" You called as you walked into the bedroom, smiling when you found him lounging on the bed, scrolling through his phone. 

"Hi baby," You cooed,  shedding your coat and going to find some PJs to slip into, Chan's eyes looked up and he smiled,

"You're back early, how was your day?" He asked with a grin, sitting up and against the headboard so that you had room to get in with him when you were dressed.

"Long and exhausting, but seeing your face makes it all better," You giggled, slipping into an oversized shirt and climbing into the spot beside him, laying your head on his shoulder and letting out a happy sigh. 

This was perfect for you, coming home to the love of your life and getting to spend the night unwinding together, forgetting all of the bad shit of your day and just focusing on the good. 

"I missed you today," He told you as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him as you felt everything that had stressed you out melt away in his embrace. 

"I missed you too, trust me I would have rather spent it with you than my boss," You mumble a little, kissing Chan's chest as he blushes deeply looking at you. The small action had sent blood flowing to his cock and he let out a tiny whimper, it was just a small kiss and yet it had him acting like a horny teenager as he bit down on his tongue a little. 

Chan was a virgin and when you'd first started dating he'd told you he wanted to take it slow and you'd respected it, you'd never pushed him too far and always stopped whenever he got too shy to continue on.

The two of you had been together for a year now and still hadn't done anything sexual with one another, besides the occasional heavy make-out session, but tonight Chan was feeling a little indifferent. He wanted to push himself a little to explore what he could with you.

"Was he rude to you again?" He asked as he ran his hands up and down your arm, his attention half on what you were saying and half on his boner that was so hard it was starting to hurt a little.

"Very, I swear I could-" You were cut off as Chan shifted uncomfortably and your eyes ran down his sweats to find him hard,

"I'm sorry, Channie. Do you need me to go?"

"N-No...No, please. Don't." He tightened his grip around you, your eyes searching signs for any sign that he wasn't okay with this. The last thing you wanted to do was push him into something he didn't want to do, but you relaxed in his arms a little.

"Yn..." Chan breathed out, you turned to face him again and your eyes locked with an unspoken understanding. Without a word, your lips met in a tender kiss, making Chan whimper against your lips a little as it itched something inside of him that had been bothering him all day.

Your kiss grew more passionate, your hands roaming over his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips and you ran your hand over his abs, making him blush deeper. 

He wanted you badly but he wasn't sure if he was ready for everything yet, he just knew he needed to feel you on him, somehow. His hands trace the curves of your body, sending shivers down your spine as you giggle a little against his lips. Your breaths mingle, coming out in soft gasps as the intensity of your desire grows, you arch into him, craving the closeness only his body could provide and with a gentle tug, Chan pulls you closer.

As you continued to make out you slowly pulled away, running your hands over his bright red face as he looked at you nervously. 

"Channie..." You breathe out, not wanting to push him too far,

"I-I'm ready...But not- Not all the way," He admitted, his voice stammering a little, he suddenly felt selfish for leading you on and his mind drifted into overthinking everything. What if you didn't want to help him? What if you told him you were sick of waiting around? 

"What if I give you a handjob?" Your voice came out, breaking him away from the deepest parts of his brain, his eyes finding yours again as you smiled warmly at him. 

"But you won't get to cum..."

"Baby, tonight is all about you." You promise him, kissing his cheek softly as he looks at you, biting down on his bottom lip. 

"But-"

"I don't care about me, I want you to get off, if you're ready." You assured him as he nodded at you, suddenly feeling shy at the thought of this happening.

Chan had, of course, gotten himself off in the past, it wasn't as though he completely shut himself off from all things pleasure. It was just anything with a partner he seemed to shy away from.

"If you're not-"

"I am! I am...ready," He rushed out, his dick was hurting from how hard he was and he wanted nothing more than to relieve himself or for you to do it for him. 

You slowly move to sit behind him and you giggle, kissing his neck softly as you make him relax,

"You're so pretty, Channie," You whimper, unable to keep yourself from him any longer,

"I just want to touch you," You whine a little running your hands over his cock through his pants as he lets out a soft moan, his eyes fluttering shut. He'd touched himself plenty but nothing compared to having the love of his life touch him.

"I...I'm yours, do whatever you want," He moans out, his head already feeling light from the pleasure. You smirk slowly pulling down his sweats and freeing him from them, his dick springing against his stomach as he hisses a little.

"No boxers? Naughty," You tease softly, your fingers gently travelling up his dick as you barely touch him, teasing him a little as he lets out a moan of your name, begging for you to touch him more.

"P-Please," He hisses out needily as you try to hide the grin that crossed your face,

"Such a good boy using your manners," You praise, kissing his neck as precum drips from the tip of his cock, a strangled groan leaving your boyfriend's throat as he rolls his head back onto your shoulder, 

"You're already so wet for me baby, all this precum." Your voice was low and seductive as you gently ran your thumb over the head of his dick rubbing the precum into his skin as bucked his hips toward you. 

"Sensitive?" You asked, unable to hide the grin any longer when he nodded and blushed deeply, your hand slowly starting to pump his dick as you watched his face, his eyes screwing shut as breaths and curse words fell from his lips.

"You're so pretty like this for me, Chan," You whispered, leaving sloppy kisses and bites up and down his neck as he moaned your name out loudly, earning a small squeeze of his dick as you began to pump his length. 

"Watch baby, watch what you're letting me do to you," You urge him. When he looks down, it feels like the air was punched out of his lungs, he looked so big in your hand and it was almost too much for him as he whimpered, bucking into your hand a little.

His head rolls back against your shoulder, his eyes rolling back as you give him slow and soft strokes, precum still oozing out of the head and dripping down his length, lubricating himself. 

"F-Fuck that's so good," He moans loudly, unable to hold anything back as you run your thumb over the tip of his cock again, curse words slipping from his mouth.

"So good,...f-fuck that's so good," He whined, his eyes finding yours as he looked at you, his eyes begging for release as you picked up the pace of your hand. His heart started to beat so fast he could hear it in his eyes, whimpering your name and screwing his eyes shut. He didn't want to cum yet but it was getting too hard to fight back his climax with every stroke of your hand. 

His thighs twitched with every movement, his moans getting shameless and louder with every passing second as he rolled his hips to meet your hand,

"You wanna cum for me?" You whispered, biting down on his ear as he nodded his head vigorously at you, his eyes filled with desperation as you smirked a little wanting nothing more than to make him cum after so long.

"Cum for me then baby, be a good boy." You whispered in his ear, biting on his neck as his eyes rolled back. His back arched a little as he came, his mind blank as his cum spurted out of him, catching your hand and onto his stomach as he mumbled apologies.

"S-Sorry...S-Sory, I didn't...didn't mean to make a mess," He panted as you giggled, looking him directly in his eyes and licking the cum off your hand, you didn't care that he'd made a mess. It had been one of the best things you'd ever seen, 

"You're so hot," He moans out, falling back onto the bed as you slowly get up and head toward the bathroom for a warm wet cloth to help clean him up with.

"Was that okay?" You questioned as the two of you lay there, your head resting on his chest as you listened to his rapid heart rate, smirking a little knowing you had been the one to do that to him. 

"M-More than okay, I'm just sorry I didn't-"

"Don't. I told you, we move at your pace and I loved getting you off," You assured him, kissing his chest softly, a small whimper leaving his throat as he bit down on his lip.

"I want to try and make you cum next time." He tells you, his shyness completely devoid of his voice as you nod at him. 

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[luveline]

PLEASE IM BEGGING I WILL SELL MY FAMILY FIR THIS

More flirty bombshell reader but Spencer was just let out of prison and now instead of just getting all hot and bothered he flirts back 😼

Love you and your writing pooks 😏😚🫶🏾

love you! fem, 1.1k

This has been the longest eighty four days of your life. Not even three months apart and yet it's felt as long and arduous as three years, and so you do what you must on the day Spencer is released from Milburn; you take your time putting yourself back together, preening and polishing, as pretty as you've ever looked. 

Penelope looks good too, JJ as well. The girls are here to represent, and that's without mentioning Luke's general unbelievable physique. 

You're pissed at being left outside but you can manage. You can cope. You don't think Penelope, bless her huge heart, is going to fight you for Spencer's attention. Not for a good five seconds. What to say first? I miss you, I love you, I'm so fucking sorry I let this happen, that I couldn't do more. 

He appears behind a grate door, Luke at his side. Then the grate is opening, JJ with tears in her eyes behind him, and every idea of what to do goes out the window. 

Your breath catches before he's so much as touched you. 

"Hey," you say. It starts well, ends weak, tears in your eyes as you choke, "hey, handsome." 

"Hey," he says, hugging you with more care than you're expecting. "Oh my god, hey." He lets out a sigh of relief, his face dipping down to press against your shoulder. You feel the familiar curve of his nose and hold your breath to stop from crying.

You let him go a selfish ten seconds later, but Spencer keeps your hand as he hugs Penelope, one-armed. It's awful and selfish and you don't care, you go in for the second hug on tiptoes, arms behind his neck, your mouth pressed as high as you can reach on his face. A mess of lip gloss is left behind when they finally crowbar you off of him long enough to get in the car, and even then you're clinging to his hand, worried someone will take him again, that you won't be able to do a thing about it. 

You wrap your arms around his and hug him on the drive back. You can't stop looking up into his face. Spencer, unflinching, meets you there, his eyes a little glassy, his face sallow but getting better. 

"Missed me?" you ask quietly. You've only so much privacy. 

"So much." 

"Like a hole in the head?" 

Spencer leans down an inch. "No, like, I really missed you." 

"Of course you did, you–" Spencer leans down suddenly and disarms you, his breath warm against your cheek. 

"I what?" he asks, kissing your cheek. 

"You haven't been away from me that long in years," you breathe. 

"It took getting used to," he says agreeably, speaking low, his breath hotter still as he kisses upward. Two kisses, that's all they are, but when he sits straight again you're thrown. 

"But you got used to it?" 

"No," he says, smiling at you like you've made a funny joke rather than thinly veiled insecurity spoken in a desperate attempt to garner some reassurance. 

It was difficult coping with the hurt of his having left you in the dark. You knew he was doing something he shouldn't have been, but you never for a moment imagined this outcome. You worried (deep down, and not for his ears) that he'd met someone new, that he'd grown disinterested in your years of love and life. Of you. Especially as he's matured, which is to say he stopped looking like he was about to walk the stage at New York Fashion week and started dressing sharp as a tack. Your Spencer stayed yours, but he got older, and you did too —you look older. You're still yourself, high maintenance, prideful, sweet, but you're not the same. 

Between the distance that bloomed with his secrecy and his growing maturity, you were caught off guard. And then not long after he was arrested in Mexico and you couldn't get him out no matter what you did, or who you begged for help. 

Spencer brings his hand to your cheek, tilting your head one way slowly, and then the other. There's confidence in his touch that you've felt before, just never to this extent. 

What happened to you? you think. 

"I'm sorry," he says. 

"For what, sweetheart?" you ask, meaning it implicitly. He's your sweetheart. He's everything. You're too high on his return to want an apology. 

"For everything. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you." 

There's something you can work with. "Oh, you will?"

"I promise." 

Mindful of your friends in the front seats, you press your cheek into his hand, turning your head just enough to touch your lips to his palm. His eyes are dark brown where they meet yours, pupil and iris one and the same. "How?" you murmur. 

Spencer brushes his thumb against your bottom lip. Something in his eyes speaks even as he stays quiet, a light, an amusement, as if to say, I know exactly what you're doing, but it won't work. 

I'm not a saint, you say back with a sheepish smile. You close your eyes and let your head fall into his shoulder. He hugs you close despite the lack of room, his chin landing atop your head gently. "You'll have to try harder," he whispers. 

"Don't know what you mean." 

"Months of missing you and the first thing you do is try to torture me." 

"That's our thing." 

"No, our thing is me worshipping the ground you walk on," he says into your hair, hand squeezing as it roves up your arm, reassuring himself that you're there, that you're real. 

"Like I wouldn't do the same if you'd let me. I would've done anything." He probably can't hear you anymore, your voice a suggestion of sound. "I would've done anything if I thought it would…" get you back to me.

Spencer does you a favour of ignoring you. Later, you know he'll bring it up again. You'll have time, because he's going home. For now he does his best to hold you together in the company of others, always thinking about what you need. "You look so pretty today. Is that for me?" 

"I always look pretty." You haven't felt it lately.

"I know. Maybe it's because I didn't see you for so long… It's like seeing you again for the first time." 

Your chest aches in a strangely nice way. "And how are you coping, handsome?" 

He rests his cheek on your forehead. On paper, you're flirting. In actuality, you're being one hundred percent honest with each other. "I'm not. My blood pressure has gotta be 180 over 110 right now."

"I love it when you talk medical to me." 

"I love you." 

You nose at his suit sleeve ineffectually "I love you."