#please talk to me i am a dumb lonely nerd

[tobiasdrake]

Rating DR1 Characters on the Bestie Scale

Had a discussion recently about where Danganronpa 1 characters fall on a moral scale of good to evil and honestly, bleh. I want to rank them based on which characters I would be most likely to hang out and be best friends with.

Chihiro Fujisaki We will kidnap Chihiro. This house is an LGBT safe space where you can figure out your identity free from harm or judgment. And we're all nerds so Chihiro will definitely be in good company. I don't want Chihiro to hang out here; I want Chihiro to live here.

Sakura Ogami Much like Chihiro, Sakura would go straight into the "Bestie for Life" category without a second's hesitation. She seems open to friendship and has pretty good opinions about things. She and my norse-blooded warrior enby roommate would probably hit it off easy and spend every afternoon sparring in the field behind the complex.

Junko Enoshima Oh, I am going to get a lot of shit for this placement. But Junko is an ultra-genius charismatic manipulator, and I will fully admit that she could shmooze her way into my home. I'm not going to bullshit you here. She would offer me commiseration on the struggles that me and my family have faced and I would fall for it. Junko is a predator who preys on the vulnerable, and I would not see it coming. I'd be in Ultimate Despair before I even knew what hit me. Please save me from her.

Makoto Naegi There's not a lot to say about Makoto. He's a nice guy, but he's also kinda flakey. He has a lot of friends and he drifts between them, so it's hard to know when he's going to come or go. But he's very supportive and a good listener. I could see us being friends; I just don't think he'd be around very often.

Sayaka Maizono Similarly, Sayaka seems nice enough, but she wouldn't come around very often. That would be her choice. She has an extremely demanding career that not only takes up a lot of her time but imposes a lot of restrictions on the public behavior she's allowed to conduct even in her free time. We'd get along just fine, but we'd never actually see each other.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru At first glance, he didn't seem like someone I'd get along with. But Taka's actually pretty malleable. Despite his rigid sense of personal discipline, he's open to new ideas. He's also desperately lonely. I think there'd be some bumps in the road, but honestly, I think we would get along in the long run.

Mukuro Ikusaba It's hard to get a good bead on Mukuro but like Taka, I think she's open to change. She comes from a much worse background than Taka's but her FTEs and the events of IF imply a willingness to grow as a human being. We can't fix her, but if she's looking to fix herself, we'd love to help her make that journey. This house is a place of healing for those willing to take that step.

Aoi Asahina Hina's really nice when she's not getting on her shit, but we don't have a lot in common. My roommate might get along with her, but she's also very judgmental. When she is getting on her shit, she leaps to conclusions and then clings to them with an iron grip. I like the donut swimmer, I just don't know how well I would get along with the donut swimmer.

Toko Fukawa Toko is another one for the "This is a House of Healing" category but her presence here would be a crap shoot. She needs help and friendship and understanding more than anyone, but she's also twisted herself into so many knots that it's hard for her to accept it. There's a chance she might start to open up to us. There's an equally likely chance that she'd say some really dumb shit about my roommate's wife that gets her kicked out forever, then convince herself that we were just trying to trick her all along.

Celestia Ludenberg Celeste is pretty easy to get along with, honestly. She can be very pleasant to be around, but she's also two-faced. She'd definitely be talking shit about me behind my back. She's also domineering and is definitely a customer service nightmare of the "You put two pickles on my burger instead of three so now I'm going to make it everyone's problem for the next three hours" variety. She has bottomless wealth but would expect me to pay for everything we do.

Kyoko Kirigiri Kyoko is married to her work. She's not looking for friends. She would show up to social events, sip two drinks, and then quietly leave before anyone noticed she's gone. She also has understated gender-traditionalist views that would become really grating whenever they crop up. She would expect me to carry heavy things instead of my norse-blooded warrior-enby roommate and she would automatically assume I know how to change a tire. I don't need that in my life.

Leon Kuwata Speaking of gender stuff, Leon could be a nice bro but he is definitely the most "Neurotypical Heteronormative Cisgender Bro" of the lot. He'd want me to be his wingman while we pick up chicks. He'd want to be my wingman while we pick up chicks. Every time we hang out, I'd have to hear about his latest scheme to impress the latest flame of the week. It's like being friends with Larry Butz.

Yasuhiro Hagakure He's pretty nice in terms of personality but his opinions on the occult coupled with his endless expensive grifts would get him booted pretty quickly. We don't have the time or patience for that shit.

Hifumi Yamada Hifumi can be a nice guy but he also rubs me the wrong way. We're a house of nerds but Hifumi is very much the Milady Fedora type of nerd. The kind who openly rants about how much better anime girls are than real women. He makes his living writing doujins about magical girls while holding questionable opinions about women and consequently I don't think we'd have very many pleasant things to talk about.

Mondo Owada Mondo is outwardly pretty charismatic and cool but he has deep-seated toxic masculinity issues that he doesn't know how to process in a positive way. He's loyal and dependable to his word, so I think we'd get on well at first. But then he'd say the dumbest shit imaginable. That would turn into an argument, possibly even a fistfight with my norse-blooded warrior-enby roommate (especially if he swung at anyone but them). And then he would never be welcome in this house again.

Genocide Jack Yo, that's a serial killer.

Byakuya Togami Every word out of his mouth makes me want to punch him in the face. Not in the fun friendly ribbing kind of way. If he's talking, it's either to insult me or to play intellectual mind games. The only reason I would invite him into my home is so that I could punch him in the face. And he wouldn't show up because he is a snob who refuses to walk among the underclass.

[allthingsarmin]

nerd!armin x popular bimbo girl!reader?

the reader needs a tutor so she asks the smartest boy on campus and they have a “study session” in the library

Thank you for your request! I hope you like it! (ALSO: I’m so sorry this took so long to write omgmgg please forgive me) ~ I also would like to write a better version of this later. Though I'm in love with this prompt, I feel I didn't write the smut part that well.

Minors DNI! NSFW below the cut. Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader.

_________________________

At this point, Armin’s legs were burning, his heart racing and hands uncontrollably shaking, while you were practically out breath, your lungs tightening as you released yet another hearty laugh and not caring about the sweat running down your forehead. Neither you nor Armin expected to be running away from the librarian at 2am in the morning on the cold, campus sidewalk, your hair and makeup questionably messy and his shirt noticeably unbuttoned with hickeys staining his neck. However, the thrill of it all was something you didn’t know you both needed…

Earlier:

“Y/n?” Armin questioned, waving his sharpened pencil in front of your face. “Are you paying attention?” He awkwardly laughed as he scratched the back of his neck. You look up at him, battering your mascara-covered eyelashes at him. “Ahh… I have no idea what’s going on,” you sighed.

Armin wanted to bang his head against the library table. He knew it would be difficult teaching the ‘campus bimbo,’ but he didn’t know it would be this hard… yet there he was. 1am on a Thursday, the test tomorrow, and you still couldn’t grasp the basics of quadratic functions.

“Why don’t we take a break?” he suggested, loudly dropping his pencil on the table, leaning back in his chair, and adjusting his disheveled collar poking out of his blue sweater.

“Okay!” you giggled mindlessly, turning to face him in your chair as you twirled your hair in your fingers. “Even though I’ll probably fail the test tomorrow, thank you for teaching me!” you exclaimed, fiddling with your compact mirror and checking your dolled-up face.

Armin tensed up at your backhanded words. Pushing his hair back out of frustration, he cursed the fact he was wasting his time with such an ai-headed girl. “Y-you’re welcome,” he hastily said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Why didn’t he say no to your study session - if you could even call it a study session - ? Even though Armin was the school nerd, it’s no surprise to him that you came and asked him for help because, well… Everyone does that - always taking advantage of Armin - only talking to him because they want to use his neat, color-coded notes, only inviting him to parties so that he would later help them study.

You felt bad for Armin. Though you couldn’t deny he was way too uptight, everyone did make fun of him for every little thing; the way he dressed like a professor, how he was always so punctual, the way he was the first to raise his hand when the teacher asked a question, how he came extra prepared to class with extra pencils.

But being so close to him now, this was the first time you realized how handsome he actually was. His turquoise veins protruding from his soft, pale skin… his slender fingers gently holding his flashcards, his toned muscles peeking their way through his rolled up sleeves and making his clothes just a little tight, the sharpness of jawline contrasting with his kind, bright smile, the way his ocean blue eyes stared intently with such passion, and his thick, golden hair growing to his eyebrows, allowing his cute ears to shyly show themselves while his undercut beautifully shaped his face… he was beautiful.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you suddenly asked.

Armin was taken aback by this question. No one had ever asked him this nor did any one seem to have any interest in his personal life whatsoever.

“No,” he paused, “I don’t have time for that stuff…” he trailed off. Armin never had a girlfriend, and thinking about it now, he never really had any crushes. He was way too busy keeping up with his grades, extra curricular activities, and student council. It would be practically impossible for him to keep such close relations with his kind of responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean he’s not lonely… his arms aching for someone to hold, his heart cold due the absence of warmth of a person he loves.

Armin didn’t bother asking you if you had a boyfriend. You were the most popular person on campus, partying with countless dudes every weekend, hanging out with a large group of girls at the mall nearly every day, your phone buzzing so much during class that your professor told you multiple times to turn it off, and you were pretty - your hair was always done in a pretty style, your makeup (though a bit slutty) always brought out the best features of your face, your nails were always painted, your skin was smooth and silky, and your perfume scent was addicting. Not only that but your clothes showed off your body so well; your skirt that was just a little short allowed people to see your cute panties when you bend over to pick something up, and your shirt that was barely even a shirt was always cropped above your waist and showed off your bouncy, plush cleavage… so of course you had a boyfriend. But even though Armin was an incredibly focused nerd, he couldn’t deny that your sweet smell, tight clothes, and lipstick-covered lips made him lustful.

“Too busy for that stuff?! Aren’t you lonely? It’s like you don’t even know how to have fun,” you chuckle, jokingly hitting his shoulder which happened to be really muscular underneath his sweater.

“Haha yeah,” he said, seemingly uninterested in where you were going with this.

“If you’re so busy, does that mean you don’t have time to masturbate?” you giggled, covering your plump mouth with your hand and fluttering your eyelashes at him.

Armin became extremely flustered as tints of red washed over his body in waves.

“W-what?” he stuttered. “Why are you asking me these questions? We are supposed to be studying!” he quietly shrieked, looking away to break eye contact with you and playing with the watch on his wrist.

“Haha, I am just joking. You’re such a nerdy boy, just want to make you blush,” you sincerely smiled.

“W-well I am a young college student, so obviously I - I do that from time to time thanks to p-porn,” he stammered.

“Woah woah wait. Someone as uptight and rigid as you watches porn?” you harshly laughed, genuinely shocked. You scooted your chair closer to him and leaned into his neck, your hot breath caressing his skin and your hair resting upon his shoulder. “What kind of porn does this nerd like to watch?” you inquired, widely grinning as you saw how embarrassed Armin had become.

On the inside, Armin was fuming, mostling frightened that he had gotten himself into an embarrassing loop with no escape that would most likely be gossiped about amongst the popular students, but mostly angry that some dumb, slutty bitch was wanting to pry into his personal life, not even appreciating the fact that he spent countless hours in the library helping you study to no avail because you couldn’t pay attention if your life depended on it… that this same dumb, slutty bitch was just getting her fun from teasing some nerd who is taken advantage of and forgotten by everyone… angry that you - with your pretty makeup, plump lips, short skirt, and overflowing cleavage - weren’t paying the price for your teasing.

Suddenly, Armin sat up in his chair, his muscles tensing through his clothes, and an aggravated look forming across his face, wrinkling his brows. He quickly takes a fistful of your hair and pulls you close to his face, allowing you to see the different shades of blue in his eyes and his soft, blond eyelashes. His innocent, geeky look is nowhere to be found on his face as he intensely stares into your eyes.

“It just so happens that this nerd likes to watch useless, empty-headed bimbos like you get their pussies abused,” he said, dominance seething from his teeth as his mint breath hits your face. Before you even have time to think, Armin unbuttons his slacks and practically forces your mouth on his hard, pretty cock.

Watching you gag and choke on his cock with saliva dribbling down your chin made him laugh. “You’re gonna have to be a little quieter, slut, we’re in a library remember?” he coos. He abruptly pulls you off his cock, taking in the sight of his lipstick-stained tip and the mascara tears streaming down your face. His treatment was so harsh and so sudden, making you miss the ‘nicer’ and ‘quieter’ Armin, but you couldn’t deny his sudden dominance made your aching cunt flood with arousal.

Before doing anything else, Armin scans the library, making sure no one is around. Grabbing your wrist, he forces you to sit on his lap, facing him on top of the library chair. Everything happened so quickly, barely even leaving you time to think, barely leaving you time to think that Armin was using your body to relieve his anger and frustration, not leaving you time to realize how sopping wet your needy cunt actually was.

Sitting atop his lap, he spreads your plush, soft thighs, exposing the fact that you didn’t wear any panties to this study session, causing Armin’s eyes to widen.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised that a whore like you wouldn’t wear anything underneath your short skirt to our little ‘play date,’” he snickers. He leans close to your ear, softly biting your neck. “It’s almost like you were asking to be fucked by me.”

You don’t know what to say. Your mind is so empty, fuzzy, and shocked that the only thing you can do is comply when he demands that you ride his cock. Armin lets out a low groan from the bottom of his throat as your tight, warm pussy encloses his thick cock. You let a pathetic whimper as he begins to thrust up into you, and Armin gives you a glare, reaching up and tightening his hands around your throat. “Remember, you have to be quiet, or are you too dumb to remember that?” he sinisterly smiles.

Armin begins to harshly thrust into you as you wrap your arms around his neck, holding onto dear life as he deeply penetrates your spongy, sensitive walls. He slithers his slender hands into your shirt and starts toying with your nipples and pinching them when you’re being too loud.

Groping your ass, he whispers in your ear, “you know, I don’t even know why you’re in college… you’re so dumb. Why don’t you just drop out and be my little slut for when I come back after class, huh?” You sink your head into the crook of his neck, embarrassment coming over you at the same time as pleasure fills your walls when he tells you those mean words.

He grabs your hair, forcing you to look at him. Your hair is a tangled mess, your makeup completely smeared, and your eyebrows furrowed as your innocent-looking eyes beg for some type of release.

“F-fuck, you look so dirty,” he groans, leaning his head back.

“And you look like two students who are going to be in so much trouble…”

Both of you tense up and look behind you to find the librarian staring daggers into your souls.

Immediately, you hop off of Armin’s dick, gathering your things as he struggles to pull up his pants. Both of you at an ungodly speed bolt out of the library doors. Yeah, getting potentially banned from the library would suck, but maybe it was something you both needed. Armin needed to learn to loosen up, have some fun, and you needed to learn to take things seriously and maybe just put in a little more effort.

“Ya’know, it’s kind of late. We can go back to my dorm, and I can help you study for maybe another half hour… if you want,” Armin shyly asks as you both continue running down the sidewalk.

“What about the other half hour?” you questioned.

Armin’s face grows red. “We can finish… chemistry…”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if you were sent back and ended up in the orphanage with Tom Riddle—and say you also had magic?

Oh boy.

Well, there's a lot to question here. Judging by the... spirit of this ask, I presume I'm... pretty much reincarnated. I'm in the orphanage, I'm much younger than I am now and a child, I'm pre-Hogwarts age, and I retain my current knowledge.

For the purpose of this ask I suppose I also retain my current mental faculties. Despite being in the body of an eight-year-old, I'm not The Carnivorous Muffin at eight.

Welp, there's a lot to consider here.

First, I probably don't realize I'm in Harry Potter for quite some time and instead assume I've been reincarnated to some parallel universe. It's the 1930's, I'm in England in the depression, WWI has occurred and the vast majority of major historical events I know about seem to have happened in the right order, and this Earth is eerily similar to the Earth I left behind.

Strange that I appear to remember everything of my past life with my adult mental abilities, but alright universe, I guess that's how we're going to play this.

What I do know is that I'm dirt poor, presumably still a woman which does not bode well for my career prospects, and if I want any prospects in life period I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail for it. It'd be great if I got adopted to help with this, and might be nice to have people in my life who love me, but there's a lot of orphans in the world and a lot of orphans who are much less weird than I am.

The orphanage is the orphanage and not great, Mrs. Cole is overworked, the orphanage is chronically understaffed, and the kids are running wild beating the shit out of each other.

Being a girl, I probably don't have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of me quite as much, but I still probably try to keep my head down and don't aggravate the particularly beefy looking orphans.

Yes, there's some very angry gremlin named Tom Riddle around who will shove you down the stairs in retribution, but that's just a weird coincidence. And then supernatural shit starts happening. Billy's rabbit hangs itself, people get injuries when Tom is nowhere near them, and I start wondering if this is really the Tom Riddle.

I'm in Wool's Orphanage, my matron is Mrs. Cole, Tom Riddle is running around lighting things on fire. It's possible, though it could all be a strange coincidence.

Now, how things go from here depends on how controlled my own magic is. Since accidental magic typically does manifest at least once or twice, it probably does manifest for me for.. something. If Tom Riddle's there to witness it then...

Well, I imagine he's very offended. Here he was, special, different, better than everyone else, and then some girl in the orphanage (who dares to get very good grades on her assignments in school) has it too.

And I just stand there, smiling, going "Tee hee".

He probably confronts me to prove that he's better at it than I am, and he probably is unless the universe hates both him and me, but having someone else with the Shining around probably prompts him to take me as his protégé (in part so he can show off and in part because he's genuinely excited to be able to share this super cool talent).

I am now apprentice to eight-year-old Tom Riddle. Whoop de doo.

Well, I don't remember this part of Harry Potter, so now I'm probably confused as to where I am again. Regardless, I try to advise Tom on how to tone it down and not, say, traumatize Amy and Dennis for life and antagonize all the other orphans forever. He probably doesn't take me seriously. What do I know, I can't even light that patch of grass on fire?

Hanging around Tom Riddle gets me a reputation to, given the difference in genders, probably a fairly nasty one at that. When Dumbledore arrives he's undoubtedly told hot gossip about how eleven-year-old Tom and I have had sex in a ritual to summon Satan. Dumbledore takes this seriously.

Dumbledore probably meets us both at the same time and it's a disaster. I tried my best to prep Tom without revealing I'm a prophet, Tom first doesn't believe there might not be others, then doesn't believe they would be antagonist/anything but amazed by how awesome he is.

Well, Dumbledore lights his wardrobe on fire while I sit there. Dying inside. Dumbledore probably also does something to me too, to teach me some kind of lesson about something.

I imagine he temporarily disfigures me/makes me appear very ugly, then sticks a mirror to the wall, that way I realize that looks aren’t everything/being a whore is wrong. Tom, still traumatized over the wardrobe, is no help and my magic’s probably not controlled enough to do a thing about it.

I spend a day looking like a pig, Tom and I are given just enough money to buy new wands and second hand/barely functioning everything else and given the world’s worst directions to Diagon Alley. Thanks, Albus.

Well, months pass, we get our wands, Tom gets excited for Hogwarts and I... start seriously considering the future. WWII is coming, the Blitz is coming, Tom and I live in east London and must be able to evacuate during the bombing of London (which went on well past the Blitz to the end of the war). I also start considering my future in the wizarding world. Do I now actually have career prospects?

Probably not because I’m muggle born and a woman. My best bet is doing very well in useful subjects and finding employment with the goblins, I can’t imagine they have the same hang ups as the wizarding world.

Tom wants to go to Slytherin, of course, I tell him this is a bad idea. “Gee Tom,” I say, “Not sure how I know this but I have this feeling that Slytherin is filled with people who loathe our very existence and will shank us. Why don’t we pick Ravenclaw or Gryffindor instead?”

No one shanks Tom Riddle! Tom says. Tom is still eleven and while he admits that sometimes I may, in retrospect, have been right about certain things that doesn’t mean he wants to go to the house known for hard work. That’s code word for everyone there being a moron and having no other redeeming features than tenacity. As for the other two, Ravenclaws sound like smug, elitist, nerds and Gryffindors like dumb jocks.

Better to be known for ambition, cunning, and actually being competent.

Well, there’s no talking him out of this one, and goddamn it we’re all each other has.

I’m the closest thing Tom Riddle has ever had to a friend in all these years and in the orphanage the only one who could hold a decent conversation with him. And while it’s not my moral obligation to keep Tom from becoming a domestic terrorist, and there’s no guarantee I even can, dumping him for one of the other houses and drifting apart won’t help.

Not to mention that, after all these years, I’m undoubtedly lonely, I’m in this foreign land, and he’s now the closest thing to a friend I have.

Looks like I’m going to Slytherin, YOOOOOLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! I shout as a battle cry as tears run down my face. I may have to convince the hat to put me in Slytherin, but like all human beings I am a mixture of many qualities. I’m not cunning in the least, mind games exhaust me unutterably, but I’m full of ambition. 

This confirms every bad opinion Dumbledore had regarding me and Tom.

For the next several months, Tom probably beats the shit out of dormmates who steal his things/harass him. He beats up mine too because feminism (TM) means that he should treat all people equally when guilty of the same crime. I... am not sure I can win that fight so I just resign myself to having to adopt some of Tom’s tactics to make sure I’m not shoved in lockers, have tampons thrown at me, or pig’s blood dumped on me at the prom.

Once again, everyone thinks Tom Riddle and I are dating. I don’t even know if they’re wrong at this point.

Well, being in class with eleven year olds who seem to have had little to no prior education, Tom and I are undoubtedly blazing through class. I imagine I’m bored out of my mind (the Hogwarts curriculum sounds unbelievably boring) and Tom is... well, probably devouring the library but probably also bored. I decide to try and see if I can find some real history texts on this world (there are probably none, the wizarding world seems to only have two historians and both... have a different approach to history than current modern thought as I know it) and discover what magic even is. That shit is fascinating: wingardium leviosa is not.

Dumbledore likely gives neither me nor Tom points in class, I think the house cup is stupid, so I really don’t care. I have no interest in playing quidditch, neither does Tom, so that doesn’t happen.

The second world war starts up, Tom, me, and the muggle borns are the only ones who give a flying fuck. I work harder on figuring out how to get lodging during the Blitz/the bombing of London. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole hates me too for being the Bride of Satan, so that’s a no go. Third year, 1939, I probably write her in earnest anyway telling her to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send Tom and I instructions for the summer/where the orphans are staying/how they’ve been dispersed to the countryside. As a back up plan, I try desperately to shmooze shopkeepers in Hogsmeade during every Hogsmeade weekend to get myself and Tom part time jobs and lodging over the summer. As a back up back up plan, I spend my time badgering Tom to become very good at survivalist wandless magic and if the Lord has pity on me gain some ability in it myself.

Hopefully, either Mrs. Cole or one of the Hogsmeade shop owners take pity on us. If not, then Tom and I are going extreme camping. Given Mrs. Cole (and the brain damage brought on by Dumbledore erasing memories left and right) and the likelihood of Hogsmeade shop owners just not getting it, Tom and I probably go extreme camping.

(Tom, meanwhile, asks Dippet and Dumbledore if we can stay in Hogwarts over the summer. He’s told no exceptions. London’s being bombed, you say? No exceptions. Toodles. Tom is never the same.)

Me, Tom Riddle, a tent we made ourselves, several rabbits we had to catch and skin ourselves, and the pitiful fire that we can keep going through pure will alone because if we try to use real people spells then we’ll get arrested. It has the benefit of making Tom feel very manly and impressive, catching his own food, but both of us are well aware that this sucks.

But hey, we aren’t dead.

Well, I’m sure Tom doesn’t appreciate that and this is where I imagine he seriously starts talking about violent revolution. I imagine much of my time is spent discussing the merits of not violently overthrowing our ant overlords. I imagine a thirteen-year-old Tom isn’t impressed by my pacifism, but he’s not married to Voldemort yet (probably).

Then I imagine the horcrux thing comes up and... Well, I will argue hard against it. Humans die, it is a truth of the universe, and simply something we have to accept. Horcruxes are not a measure against that, they can be destroyed, given infinite time they will be, and the sacrifice they require is too high: human life as well as the very essence of who you are.

What is a soul? I’m not sure, we never really learn in HP canon, but whatever it is, it is in some way the essence of yourself. If you take half of it and throw it somewhere else, you will cease to be you, someone or something else is walking around in your body while the other half of you exists in endless agony.

If you must chase immortality, create a philosopher’s stone (as I darkly wonder why it was that couldn’t be replicated and what Flamel had to do to make it in the first place). On second thought, maybe we should search for the Holy Grail.

Whether I can talk Tom out of this or not is... unclear. I’m going to say that I can, in part because I imagine he’ll want to show the chamber off to me, tell me when he realizes he’s Heir of Slytherin, and in doing so I can prevent the basilisk incident from occurring. Without that, there’s no dead Myrtle, which means no first victim. That summer, when he goes to the Gaunts, I’ll go with him and convince him that it’s not worth it. He can just turn around and leave these people alone, I hopefully can talk him down. Which means no second victim.

I start writing Flamel to see if Tom or I can get an apprenticeship (Dumbledore probably beats us to the chase and poisons him against us, but it’s worth a shot).

Then, should all go well, I can convince Tom to find employment with the goblins rather than shady antique dealers on the bad side of town. Hopefully, I can convince him to never become Voldemort, and instead we travel the world together looking for the origins of magic or something.

Dumbledore goes around taking people’s memories of us in preparation for when Tom becomes a dark lord and I his lady of the night darkness.

TL;DR Apparently my life would become an SI/Tom Riddle fic. So, thanks anon.

[lunarblazes]

i made a desertduo playlist and then decided to be a nerd and write explanations for all the songs! like a nerd!

playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZGylutQpyTbgX7MY7Lrzz?si=t8_kBwBHSYG5kxTvZoIrTQ&dl_branch=1

QUICK DISCLAIMER: i am aware that a lot of these songs may have or imply romantic connotation! i would really really like it if these were not read as though those romantic connotations carry over to scar and grian. even if we’re just talking about the third life characters, i would prefer not to ship them or imply romance between them on this post. thank you so much and keep reading if you’d like to see the playlist analysis!

and now that that’s out of the way, PLAYLIST TIME!

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passerine- the oh hellos

“you were the song that i’d always sing/you were the light that the fire would bring/but i can’t shake this feeling that i/was only pushing the spear into your side again”

this song really just... firstly, it’s one of my favorite songs, and the line i chose there pushes home the sort of terrified devotion i think the desert has. plus there’s a fun line about the cold wind blowing in from the north in the ending bits that i think very much fits their conflict with the red army, and a lot of legally obligated flight imagery that i need to have in every possible song because i’m a fuckin nerd.

•

no children- the mountain goats

“i hope that our few remaining friends/give up on trying to save us/i hope we come up with a failsafe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us”

i will admit that no children isn’t a perfect fit, but the general vibe of sort of defiant pessimism and betrayal fits very well with them! it’s very triumphant in its death, and i think that is very desertcore, because what’s more triumphantly dead than being the last duo left alive?

•

skulls- bastille

“when all of our friends are dead and just a memory/it’s always been just you and me/for all to see”

okay like this entire song is SO MUCH DESERT VIBES? LIKE SO MUCH. if i were to ever make an animatic for them i’d do it with this song. “a match is our only light, it’s day of the dead i’m indiana jones, yeah,” “i hope you can make me laugh six feet under when we’re bored of each other,” “i don’t want to rest in peace, i’d rather be the ghost that annoys you,” IT JUST KEEPS GOING. i think this song would work well with any third life duo, honestly, but these two in PARTICULAR just because of how it ended with them literally ‘buried’ next to each other, and again, the chaotic death vibes.

•

freaking out- mystery skulls

“i just keep out of my tongue/til all you want is done/and you just wanna leave me, oh yeah”

this song is a very third life grian song to me in particular! it could be my bias because of my little headcanon of grian burning on his red life, but seriously, this song is very reminiscent of the back and forth of loyalty that grian has with scar. the above line is sort of representative of the betrayal on red, and of course grian’s life debt.

•

night running- shin sakiura

(this song is in japanese! these lyrics are the rough english translation i found on google.) “someday we will stand at this place once again/for sure we will stand up again and again/we will watch it will the end/i want you to live freely”

this song is actually the ending theme for the anime bna, which i adore, and i just added it on a whim before looking at the translated lyrics. but um. holy hell the lyrics hurt me because they’re about running in search of someone, running for no reason, looking for something, and it just really hit, because the desert never really had a goal! they didn’t expect to survive, they were trying to survive, but what was their longterm goals? nothing. so that sort of endless search felt fitting for this. plus the song is a parallel for the two estranged best friends of the show so! perfect.

•

summer nights- siames

“it’s summertime/singing al green in your car/heading to a party/and the night air feels alive”

okay again, i will admit this song is mainly on here because i absolutely love it, but i also do think it fits well. it’s also about healing/estranged friendships, with a very distinct feeling of nostalgia for a happier time. maybe for a time when this was all a game, when there was no blood or betrayals on their hands. little canon divergent, but it’s fun for me, so into the playlist it goes!

allies or enemies- the crane wives

“are we allies or enemies/this will be the death of me, this will be the death of me/all’s fair in love and war but i can’t fight with you anymore”

. i just. points to that lyric. it literally led to both of their deaths. are they allies or enemies? it also fits with scar still wanting grian to be his friend even after he’s no longer indebted with the line “what happens now? do we have another go, do we bow out?” another very good animatic song that i’ve considered heavily. i listen to this playlist a lot

•

burn him down- kitsch club

“you must destroy, oh you must destroy, beyond all recognition/you gotta burn him down, you gotta burn him down, beyond all recognition”

this song just has a lot of fire and arson and high energy vibes. my little war criminals look at them go

•

rose- the oh hellos

“what's true is like a sickle/it'll cut you to the middle/your rose is without a thorn/but no, my mouth don't taste of metal/from the pot here to the kettle/i think we got a lot we gotta learn”

this one is like the exact opposite vibe of burn him down. the oh hellos are so poetic and this song just... feels like the healing potions after a battle. many of the metaphors here fit, i think

•

lone digger- caravan palace

“hey, brother, what you thinking/that good ol' sound is ringing/they don't know what they're missing/(they call it lonely diggin')”

okay this song is straight up just a dance song. i added it because i like it and also for some reason it feels ominous to me? i’ve got no idea why, it’s seriously just a club song, but it’s a banger and it’s in this playlist because i said so

•

feed the machine- poor man’s poison (suggested by my friend argonaughtkeene!)

“somethin’s goin” on, just look around/fear is on the rise, and there’s blood all over the ground/let’s all just blindfold the poor, we all know what’s in store/ we got ‘em now, just break ‘em down a little bit more”

this song is a VIBE for both desertduo members. there’s parts for both of them. it’s ruthless, gritty, very maniacal, perfect. listen to it and you’ll immediately understand why i added it.

•

sweet tooth- scott helman

“i hold hands with cosmic entities/i’ll take this two-ride if i please/i got this sweet tooth baby, yeah i got this sweet tooth baby/i exploit my opportunities/some broken hearts, some cavities”

sweet tooth is super upbeat and bright with these strangely dark lyrics? like i’m pretty sure it’s about addiction. in any case, i thought the “i hold hands with cosmic entities” very funnily fitting for both of the desert boys. it’s a banger!

•

necromancin’ dancin’- bear ghost

“when i’m necromancin’, everyone’s dancin’/nobody can stop me, i dare you to try/the dead are infused with insatiable groove and they’re coming for you, there’s nowhere to hide”

necromancin’ dancin’ just. bastard vibes. there’s not much more to say it’s just huge villain song vibes. i adore it.

•

crazy = genius- panic! at the disco

“if crazy equals genius/then i’m a fucking arsonist/i’m a rocket scientist/if crazy equals genius/you can set yourself on fire/but you’re never gonna burn, burn, burn”

i. yeah. y. yeah. more bastard vibes. also shoutout to an artist i saw (i think it was strifesolution?) who made a desertduo piece to this song because i have not stopped thinking about it ever

•

sweet bod- lemon demon

“i’m diggin’ up your coffin/and pouring out the contents/your sexy, sweet solution/is ripe for distribution”

you know how i said freaking out was a grian song? this one is a scar song. it’s my favorite lemon demon song and also it has the total macabre capitalism vibe that third life scar NAILED. more bastard vibes good for him <3

•

drunk- the living tombstone

“feel so much better than usual/i feel indisputable, oh/but now i’m feeling so beautiful/don’t wake me up from this spell i’m under, if i’m still breathing/i know that i will be ugly when i feel like myself again, oh/but right now i’m feelin’ so beautiful”

the descent of this song, starting off with a polite gathering and ending with a gasping drunk in the parking lot gazing at the stars that he can barely see? yes. yeah. mhm. i used a line from this song for a fic, actually, it fit so well.

•

oh no!- marina

“one track mind, one track heart/if i fail, i’ll fall apart/maybe it is all a test/cos i feel like i’m the worst so i always act like i’m the best”

bubbly pop track about false confidence, the ruthlessness of the pop industry, and the influence of the media? you know why this is here. it vibes. it rocks.

•

do it all the time- i don’t know how but they found me

“we’re taking over the world/a little victimless crime/and when i’m taking your innocence/i’ll be corrupting your mind/no need to cry i’m only doing everything i want to do because i do it all the time”

EVEN MORE BASTARD VIBES! SOMEHOW THERE IS MORE! this playlist is half villain songs and half heart-wrenching ballads and that’s the real desert experience i think.

•

the phoenix- fall out boy

“i’m gonna change you/like a remix/then i’ll raise you/like the phoenix”

BATTLE SONG BATTLE SONG! i’ll be honest i partially chose this song because i am a huge sucker for phoenix grian imagery in particular, but it’s also just a very good war song for them. villain song no 18372948 except this one originally had a hero vibe and now it’s changed specifically for them?? wild. their power

•

the other side- the greatest showman

“right here, right now/i’ll put the offer out/i don’t wanna chase you down, i know you see it/you run with me/and i can cut you free/out of the treachery/and all you keep in”

scar and grian’s desert monopoly conversation went exactly like this canonically because i said so fuck you <3

•

icicles- the scary jokes (suggested by my friend demizorua!)

“icicles don’t soften when they die/so why should i, why should i?/oh, icicles don’t soften when they die/they sharpen into sabers and they stab you in the eye”

this song actually has specific parts for both grian and scar! my cool epic friend mx demizorua pointed both of them out to me and i adored it so much. it’s a very spiteful song, just like the desert boys. also it feels vaguely murderous. perfect

•

problems- mother mother (suggested by my friend demizorua!)

“i’m a loser, a disgrace/you’re a beauty, a luminary, in my face”

literally this entire song fits them. particularly their relationship with the flower husbands, to me, honestly— the whole “when we meet at the pearly gates/you’ll get the green light/and i’ll get the boot in the face” reminds me a lot of them hdksjdks

•

tongues and teeth- the crane wives

“i know that you mean so well/but i am not a vessel for your good intent/i will only break your pretty things/i will only wring you dry of everything”

h. yeah. this song is literally gaslight gatekeep girlboss and i attribute it to the desert for that reason alone. songs to commit murder to!

•

you’re nobody til somebody wants you dead- saint motel

“you’re nobody til somebody wants you dead/and the list, it grows, and grows, and grows/it grows, and grows, and grows/and grows, and grows, and grows/until it’s everyone you’ve ever known”

this one is very self-explanatory. enemies pogchamp

•

curses- the crane wives

“there’s a fire in my brain and i’m burning, love/oh my, oh my/keep running to the sink, but the well is dry/oh my, oh my/every word i say is kindling/but the smoke clears when you’re around”

okay again! this one has two very specific parts for both of them. grian’s the first verse, which is above, and scar’s the second verse!! i really do like my fire imagery for these two don’t i? well, i blame them for having a fuck ton of tnt on them at all times and literally burning their enemy’s banners as a final act of defiance.

[anonymous-swiftie]

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued  for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

D.

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

[that-0ne-simp]

The night left ( Kuroo Tetsurō x Reader)

Heyyyy! Quick note y/n is a real person in this real world! And I suggest you listen to " idk you yet by Alexander 23" on loop 🔁 for this story :) thank you!

                                                                         6:00pm

You were walking home alone after a bad day from school. This happens a lot that it became your routine. No matter how hard you try for some reason you can never have a normal, positive, happy day. Sometimes you wish you could just disappear or maybe go back to the time you were a kid. Imagine how fun it would be living your life with pure happy imagination

.As a kid, you always had a wild imagination. As you grow older the harder life gets your wonderful imagination slowly fades into a pool of anxiety, self consciousnesses, and sad reality. You used to have this big no I mean HUGE crush on Kuroo Tetsuro. You loved the idea of having him by your side comforting you and loving you. Somehow the thought of that makes you feel less... lonely.

That was in the past. Now you live in an apartment on your own starting your 1st year in college. It is heartbreaking to realize how much you've changed not only physically but also mentally. You realized in the real world no one would do that to you. No one will hug you and tell you everything will be alright, no one will ask you how your day went, NO ONE will ever be there to listen to you.You eventually end up in front of your apartment door. You were about to unlock it when you heard a series of footsteps as if someone was walking around. Cautiously you slowly open the door and that's when you saw someone you never knew alive nor existed.

"Nice to see you Chibi-chan!" He said with a goofy smile on his face. You stood there in pure shock "What the hell?! Is this a joke? Are you a cosplayer? You know what?! I don't care get out. NOW" you said utterly confused. "NO NO NO no I'm not! Please believe me y/n" he pleaded. " what the hell bro your creepy how the fuck do you know my name? Did f/n set me up? Did she hire you? You better get out now or I'm calling the cops!" " NO! y/n I'm Kuroo Tetsuro! You see! come on, please... trust me"

 you knew you shouldn't trust him. You knew you shouldn't believe him but, there's something that's telling you that he's telling the truth. Of course, that is impossible but it was sincere the look in his eyes. What the hell is happening? Have you finally gone crazy from all the bullshit the universe has put you through? Despite this crazy shit happening you managed to stay calm. Honestly, the word has put you through so much shit that you cannot find the care anymore. 

You sighed " so you're Kuroo Tetsuro, as in the captain of Nekoma which happens to be from an anime" "yup" he answered shortly. "That's the dumbest thing I-" you couldn't continue cause deep down you know you believe him. I mean who wouldn't? He has the same voice, hair, height and he looks exactly like Kuroo and not to mention his aura and personality, It's like the exact copy. You look at him as he smirks and raises his eyebrow as if he was telling you 'see? I'm right'.

 You roll your eyes at him"fine if you are Kuroo then what are you doing here and how are you even here?" "Well the second question's complicated but I can answer the first one. I'm here because..." "because?" "I wanted to see you" when he said that you were taken back and slightly flattered at the thought that someone wants to see you. " and why did you want to see me?" You asked hoping to make more sense of the situation. 

You've got to admit you were kinda anxious for his answer but what he said completely confused you."Because I missed you" when he said that you suddenly had the urge to say it back. The truth is you did miss him a lot but you wouldn't admit it. "ok then.." you replied as you take deep breathes in hopes to calm yourself down.You know you might regret this, you know this is dumb as fuck but "so do you want to stay?" The moment you said that his eyes lit up like a child as if he was waiting for this his whole life. He softly replied with a genuine gentle smile on his face. " I would love that love" For some reason him calling you love gave you a nostalgic feeling. It made you feel safe like you could be yourself with him. 

"What's with the new nickname? What happened to chibi-chan?" You asked as you head to the kitchen. It took him a while to respond. "..don't you remember? We used to call each other that" you couldn't see him but you had a feeling that he wore a sad smile on his face as he recalled the memories of you together. For you on the other hand don't remember any of that happening... when it hits you. You remember reading a fanfic book of you and Kuroo being together and throughout the book, you called each other love. At that moment all your doubts vanished. You completely believe him. He is your Kuroo. You were confused but you weren't scared. You take the snacks and walk to him on the couch as you compose yourself.

 "Well then, it's really nice to see you Kuroo" you said with a smile on your face as you sat down next to him. After an hour or less of watching tv with him, he asks you "hey love?" "hmm?" "Can we do face masks?" You were taken back by his sudden request but you're not complaining. "sure...but why tho? I didn't think you're kind of guy who enjoys face masks" you asked as you look up at him. He looks at you mischievously "you told me you wanted to do face masks with me and besides I always wanted to try the peel-off ones" 

The smile he wore can fool others but not you though. You had a feeling that it's not the entire truth."Kuroo, what do you really want?" Short silence took over once again until "I want to spend this night with you doing the things we've wanted to do" now that was the truth. He never wanted anything more than to spend time with you. "Fine" you said slightly laughing at how cute he's being. After a few hours of doing random stuff like curling your hair with straws, doing random dance videos, baking, and dancing.

It was now 12:20 am and both of you decided to go for a walk. "Thank you" he mumbles "hmm?" "I said Thank you" "for what?" You asked " For spending the night with me" he said while smiling but for some reason there it is again the tint of sadness in his tone. You stop walking and look at him with a teasing smile on your face. "huh? You've been acting all weird all night are you sure you're Kuroo? Cause the real Kuroo I know is cocky, sarcastic, and is a science nerd even though he's a complete dick" you teased trying to lighten up the mood.

 "Hey! who are you calling dick chibi-chan! For someone who is so clearly lacking docosahexaenoic acid you sure are great with your words SHRIMP" He says with a smirk. After that, you guys walked for an hour or two as you talk about dumb shit. When you guys get home it was already 2:57 am. Both of you decided to cuddle in bed. " I wish we could stay like this forever" you say with his arms wrapped around you comfortably as you slowly drift off to sleep.

5:00 am

You woke up to Kuroo looking at you lovingly as he creases your cheek while humming a beautiful melody. You listened to him more and you realized It was the song you always imagine him singing to you. "Good morning Kuroo" you greeted with a smile. "Good morning Love" He said as he gently kisses your forehead. "sleep some more love" "but Kuroo I'm not-" " Please y/n" He pleaded, his voice somewhat shaking as he pushed your head to his chest. You didn't notice the tears threatening to slip through his eyes. "Hey, Kuroo?" "hmm?" "all we did tonight was everything I wanted to do. But, What about you?" You asked trying to look up at him to see his face but you couldn't, he was holding you so tight as if he would lose you. "didn't I tell you to sleep already?" He asked as he let out a small chuckle. "Fineee" you said pouting. After a few seconds of silence "good night Kuroo" you said as sleep takes over you.

5:30 am

"Y/N... Love" You woke up to Kuroo saying your name shaking you lightly. "hmmm?" you answer still half asleep and you rub your eye. "good morning love" "good morning, why'd you wake me up?" You asked looking at him eyes half-open. "Guess what chibi-chan" "hmm?" "I love you" That simple three-letter word woke you wide awake as you feel your face heating up. "T-Tetsuro w-" "and I want you to have sweet dreams of me" and that's when you noticed the tears streaming down his face. "h-hey are you o-" You panicked, you don't like seeing him like this nor do you like the feelings his words are giving you. You can't bear the fact that he's talking to you as if he was saying goodbye. Tears threaten to fall from the sudden terrifying thought of him leaving. "I love you so fucking much" He cried once more with hurt visible on his beautiful face. "h-hey! why do I feel like you're saying goodbye!" at this point you were also crying, you weren't ready. You didn't want to risk it, you wouldn't be able to handle it if he were to leave. "I will never get tired, I will never say no for more time with you" The tears kept ongoing and all you could respond with is a little whimper. "Promise me you'll be the cute and happy chibi-chan for me forever. Cause if you do I will be the happiest man alive" "Tetsu- please don't leave me, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Tetsu please, you can't leave me, I love you, you're everything I've ever wanted. All I need is you so please." You cry desperately holding on to him scared to let go. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner... Tell me, love, how can you miss someone you've never met? .....I Love you so much chibi-chan" He leaned in, lips a few centimeters from yours and before it even touched. It happened all so fast. In just one blink of an eye, he's gone with a beautifully decorated envelope stood in his place.

Dear Y/n,

I'm sorry... I'm sorry I didn't complete the things you wanted to do with me. I couldn't do the last one. I didn't have the courage to say it to you out loud so I'm sorry if this is not what you expected but I do want to say it to you so here it goes. Y/N L/N is your name but you were Y/N Kuroo from where I came from. You might have now noticed that all my memories of us together came from your imagination or from stories you read. The memories might not be true but y/n I love you so much and that's something you cannot deny. I've been with you ever since you knew about me and I didn't have the guts to leave even though you already left me. I can't blame you though I know you're getting older and I know that as times pass by you will eventually forget about me. You asked me what I really wanted. Well, I wanted to start a family with you, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But more than anything I wanted to be with you even if it was just for a night. Love, you are the most adorable, beautiful, kind-hearted, caring, lovable girl that I have ever met. I love you so damn much chibi-chan. My chibi-chan, I missed you.-Love Kuroo

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo Tetsuro Bucket list:

Spend a night with her✔

Finish her bucket list ✔

Kiss her

If you cringe while reading this because of all the grammar mistakes sorry bubs but I’m too lazy to fix it ;P

[wastelandcrown]

logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents

CHAPTER 4: a tight-knit family

Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans), Remus being Remus, (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please dm me!! This chapter we see a LOT of Patton, a little of Virgil, and some Roman being an ass behaviour. I apologize if this chapter is lackluster, it’s important I promise!! Also I just finished chapter 5...its 3295 of intrulogical fluff 

Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP

Word Count: 2269

Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer

After a few weeks, not disappointing Remus was a weak reason to be here. 

Though he never considered himself a quitter, god he would love to just quit one thing in his life. The thing being theatre. 

When Thomas arrived Roman bombarded him with questions. Turns out, Logan was cast as Hamilton due to his exceptional rapping. Roman, weaker at rapping but a very confident and strong singer, could provide the extremely skilled vocal performance required by Washington. If Logan were to get sick, Roman would play Hamilton and Remus would hand over Maria’s part to his understudy. Which made sense, of course. The beginnings of rehearsals were, by all means, not entirely awful. They were going to learn the music to the show, song by song. The first problem arises with Logan’s absolutely awful stage fright. After the first run-through of the title number, Alexander Hamilton, Logan almost threw up again. People looked directly at him whenever he sang or rapped. The musical director, Jamahl, assured him it was fine. Jamahl, as nice as he was, would be receiving a solid two on Logan’s chart. It’s okay, Logan, Everyone gets stage fright, Logan. That, quite frankly, sounded like a bunch of bullshit. Especially since every time Logan got too nervous and messed up, Roman laughed from off to his side. 

Which shouldn’t bother him. It really shouldn’t. Except...Well, it was infuriating to be laughed at. For something he can’t control no less. He was ready to ball up his script and pelt him with paper until he stopped being a colossally egotistical idiot. Along with Roman’s frankly abhorrent behaviour, Logan also had to deal with feigning...romantic intimacy. Don’t get him wrong, Patton was a very nice guy. But...how would you feel knowing your first kiss would have to be fake for a theatre production? Bad. You would feel bad. So does Logan. Logan is sick of all of this, and by the end of the second week he finally snaps. 

When he hears that during Helpless he needs to kiss Patton, he doesn’t bother to hide his surprise. Of course, after he does, Roman decides to open his big dumb mouth. 

“What’s wrong, Microsoft nerd? Upset that your first kiss will be on the stage?” 

Patton reels back and glares at Roman almost instantly, opening his mouth to defend Logan, when Logan turns on Roman himself. 

“I am beginning to wonder if you ever just shut up,” Logan snaps, fists balled in anger.

“Because honestly, for the two weeks I have been in this theatre program, you have done nothing but spout off like a tea kettle about to boil over all because I happened to be better than you at one thing. So I am sincerely asking, do you ever shut up?”

Somehow, he has done the impossible. Roman is stunned into silence, his face goes red with anger. 

“How dare-” Is all he manages to get out before Thomas calls for a five-minute break. 

Thomas motions for Logan to come over to him, and he’s still fuming. If he were as dramatic as a certain hoity-toity theatre brat, he would be practically foaming at the mouth. Thomas is an adult, so he tries to pull himself together. 

“I apologize-” 

“Don’t. Roman kinda deserved that,” Thomas says with a smirk, “He’s a great kid, but he has a lot to learn.”

It’s his turn to be shocked into silence, because never in a million years would he expect an adult to enable such an outburst. 

“Really though, Logan, Just try not to let it happen again. I’ll let it slide this time, okay?”

With a nudge to the side and a kind smile, Logan is sent to have his break. 

Roman is quiet for the rest of the day. Logan could not be more pleased. Roman’s anger at him was unjustified and awful, he was overall awful. After today, he would need to add a negative rating to his charts. He doesn’t think he could ever get along with someone like Roman without eventually succumbing to his anger and strangling him. Logan knows his extreme anger is wrong, but Roman was just...just...absolutely, unbelievably, infuriating. Sitting in the lobby waiting for his father like usual, he is approached by Patton. Alone this time, without Virgil. Which is strange. 

“You look like you’re about to rip someone's head off,” Patton giggles out with a sympathetic smile. 

Logan sighs and gives him a little smirk, “My apologies, are you going to be getting a ride with Virgil tonight?”

“No, his dad is picking him up! I was actually wondering if you wanted to hang out!”

“I-” Logan thinks on this for a while, then shrugs. It may be for the best. Patton has been very kind, and he has defended him when Roman was being a jerk.

“Sure, let me message my father.”

Patton’s car is a beat-up looking second-hand thing that looks like it rolled out of a dump. Inside, it’s actually very well taken care of. Patton calls the car “Christine” and pats her lovingly. Hanging from the rear-view mirror is a small frog-shaped air freshener that makes the car smell of strawberries. The seats are comfortable, and Patton’s music is sweet. Eventually they pull into a parking lot in a townhouse area, and as they walk down the street Patton waves and says hello to all his neighbours that are outside. 

“You know them all?” 

“Oh, yeah! Lots of them have babysat me, or my sisters! And I’ve babysat for them too!”

Huh. He didn’t know Patton had sisters. Though, the second they enter his house, it’s entirely obvious. 

In the living room, there are three young girls. Patton’s shoes are barely off when the two youngest ones rush him and engulf him in hugs. The older one walks over and smiles at Logan first.

“Hi, which one are you?” She asks, and Patton laughs.

“Delilah Ann! That’s not nice!”

“I’m Logan, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Lilah, I’ve heard a lot about you. Mostly ‘cause Pat doesn’t shut up.”

Patton looks a little pouty, but Logan thinks he likes Lilah. She doesn’t look much like Patton at all. Her hair is more wavy than curly, and a very nice strawberry blonde colour. She doesn’t have glasses, and dresses very tomboyish, the only thing that ties them together are their freckled cheeks. She’s only thirteen, but Logan finds her interesting to talk to. While Patton is dealing with the younger ones, she tells him about how she wants to be a mortician and is the smartest in her family. Logan smiles a little while they have a mostly one-sided conversation. 

One thing the siblings have in common is certainly their talkative likability. 

The younger two are put to work on their homework at the dining table, and Patton begins to set up dinner. Logan sits next to the girls at the table, Delilah retreating to her room, chatting with Patton as he cooks. He offered to help but was denied at every turn. Something about him being a guest, and how he shouldn’t have to. They’re discussing their roles in the play when the youngest slams her head against the table dramatically.

“Patton! I don’t wanna do this anymore!” She whines, Patton puts some potatoes in a pot then brushes off his hands on his apron. 

“Do you need help, or do you need a break?” 

“Help!”

Logan peers over her paper and sees a bunch of simple multiplication questions, she must only be in second or third grade. 

He clears his throat, “If you’d like, I could help you.”

“Oh! Oh! Yes! Patton can Logan help me please!” 

Patton agrees, despite obviously looking at Logan and saying ‘You really don’t have to’ with his eyes. Logan likes to teach, he’s more than happy to help out. Especially since Elaine is extremely charming. You can definitely see how much she looks like Patton. Big square glasses, blonde hair in pigtails, tons of freckles dotting chubby cheeks. She acts like him too, spouting out awful dad jokes that make Patton lose it laughing in the kitchen. She tries her best to listen, and manages to actually complete her math homework with a pretty good mark. Her teacher will hopefully be impressed. Logan’s dad texts and asks if he needs to be picked up, but Elaine begs him to stay for dinner and...well he can’t say no, can he? Patton says he doesn’t have to stay, but he wants to. 

He’d never had siblings, it had always just been him and his parents. Though he loved them, and they loved him, it was so...lonely sometimes. He had always wanted a little brother or sister, maybe even a pet, but it never really happened. The energy in Patton’s house was somehow a perfect mix of lively and calm, they felt like they were really a family. Logan relished in it. The feeling of community, full of love so openly given and received. The most he had were very quiet holiday dinners with the few Larks who were left. He remembers being Elaine’s age, he felt so lonely. She wasn’t lonely though, she was full of love. So was Patton. It was very nice. He watches Patton cook and he chats with him while realizing he’s been much too harsh on him. His kindness wasn’t fake, there was no way. He was a real person who was actually that nice. He defended him out of the kindness of his heart. 

Ding.

hey logan wyd rn

Ah, Virgil. That was a pleasant surprise. 

I’m actually at Patton’s house. Elaine has roped me into staying for dinner.

He can almost hear Virgil’s little chuckle. 

yeah she does that hows sophie

Sophie? Oh, that must be the third sister. She’s very quiet, her eyes haven’t once looked upwards the whole time they’ve been sat together. 

“Ahem-Uhm-Sophie,” Logan starts, and Sophie looks up from her homework, “Virgil was wondering how you are?”

Her eyes light up, “I’m good. Is he going to come over?”

She’s good. She wants to know if you will be coming over.

hah, sure tell her to give me 20 

“Yes, give him twenty minutes.”

Sophie smiles, and Logan is reminded of Virgil almost immediately. She has dark brown hair that covers her face and a bit of a natural glare. Her smile is shy, and he wonders if Patton secretly stole Virgil’s little sister. 

It seems like it, even more, when Virgil actually gets there. Sophie’s entire demeanor changes. She becomes extremely talkative and tells Virgil all about how she’s got a new villager in her animal crossing town. Virgil entertains her with talking, going and helping Patton to cook. Logan gets up to help as well, but Virgil waves him away. Virgil looks like he belongs here, in this little dining room-kitchen. He’s laughing beside Patton, talking to both girls and Logan, helping cook and set the table. Logan can’t help but wonder how many times he’s done this before. While Patton is putting the food on the table, the door opens and a tired-looking woman enters. Virgil goes to greet her, and she smiles. Her hair is curly and blonde, her eyes are a cloudy green, she is covered in a smattering of freckles, and she looks...just like Patton. 

Logan gets up to go greet her as well. When she sees him she beams and it’s like he’s been confronted by the sun herself. 

“You must be Logan! Virgil and Patton talk my ears off about you!” She pats his head, and continues, “The boys just adore you! It’s about time you came for dinner!”

He almost can’t speak, and both Virgil and Patton whine about her embarrassing them, but he nods, “Thank you for having me, but I’ve only known them for two weeks, Ma’am.”

The woman looks a little confused, then laughs joyously, “No need for that, kiddo! Just call me Lisa, okay?” 

After patting him on the shoulder, she slinks by and greets all her children. Lilah has come back down, and the whole table is now filled to the brim. Dinner is filling and delicious, Patton really has a talent for the culinary arts. Which is strange considering Logan took him as someone who, like him, couldn’t cook to save his life.

After dinner, Patton brings Logan and Virgil to his room to hang out. They play video games, talk about anything they can manage, and by the time it’s late Logan is smiling. At nine, Elaine and Sophie are whining about Patton putting them to bed. Virgil and Logan wish them good night and Virgil drives Logan home. 

“Logan, I’ve gotta ask...why did you agree to hang out with Patton?”

“Well...I’m not actually sure. I think that I needed it.”

“How do you mean?”

Logan looks out the window and thinks to himself. Why? He’s never had friends, or much of a close family. He figured he agreed because well…

“Patton has something I don’t. It helped me understand him better to see what he has.”

Virgil accepted that, but Logan wasn’t sure he understood it fully. He’s not even sure he does. 

That night, Roman gets a negative two. Patton gets a ten, and written on his pages are the names and personalities of his family members. Along with that, is a very simple phrase. 

I have concluded that Patton is, indeed, a very good person.

Why it took him this long to come to terms with, he will never understand. 

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 14: 2x15 The Trouble with Tribbles

Back to watching TOS on Wednesdays! We’ll see if I can keep this up because I do prefer it to Fridays.

Today’s episode: the Classic (tm) Trouble with Tribbles.

Starting out with a little test for Chekov lol. Just Chekov, his mentor, and his mentor-in-law.

My mom called Chekov “Kirk and Spock’s little project,” which I think is hilarious but also probably true. Only 22 years old and on the bridge crew? Private quiz by the top two people on the ship? Legit interpretation.

“It was just a little joke.” / “Extremely little, Ensign.” Classic Spock burn.

The Organian Peace Treaty--from Errand of Mercy??

I really do feel like Kirk is genuinely amused by Chekov.

You would never guess from this intro about tense diplomatic situations and number-one-top-priority-triple-red-alerts that this was going to be a crack-y episode about space bunnies.

Oh no, a fake red alert! Kirk is really angry now.

Kirk and Spock are very Married today.

STORAGE COMPARTMENTS?? StOrAgE cOmPaRtmEnTs?

WHEAT??

Do not try to imply that Spock doesn’t know things; he is contractually obligated to show off.

Canadian wheat.

Honestly, just let Kirk call it wheat.

Spock is using diplomacy to reign Kirk in. Sarek would be proud. And Spock would be insulted that Sarek is proud.

Kirk is very Sassy today.

Omg the waitresses have little wings.

Spock taking the wheat from behind his back and giving it to Kirk like a magician’s assistant.

I feel like Kirk is bitter about the wheat because it’s the one (1) thing he’s not a nerd about. And he’s from Iowa too!! He should know!

Uhura listening to the salesman; well she IS here to shop, after all.

Is it alive? Is it cute? Oh who am I kidding, I can see it’s cute!

Oh no the tribble is eating the grain.

Uhura is truly adorable.

I can’t believe she just made a joke about never getting any shore leave and here she is, back at her station again.

Can you even imagine AOS Kirk being tasked with protecting a bunch of grain? HE would make Iowa jokes.

And Spock is trying so hard not to laugh.

Tbh I have a real soft spot for these frustrated Kirk episodes. Poor, long-suffering Kirk. So much more serious than all of the nonsense going on around him.

I like this space station design.

Klingons on shore leave. They just want to have some fun. No bowling alleys on their ships!

Technical journal time for Scotty!

“I am immune to their effect....” Sure. What’s funny to me is that Kirk actually is immune to their effect. Truly at no point does he seem charmed or amused by or even interested in the tribbles, except in their capacity as Klingon detectors at the end

“I think they’re old enough [to be adopted].” Lol how can you tell?

One look from Spock reigns Kirk in. #spacehusbands

Oh, you noticed there are 11 tribbles instead of 1? How astute.

“What do you get when you feed a tribble too much?” / “A fat tribble.” This is ACTUAL DIALOGUE. Oh, Kirk.

Honestly McCoy is a medical doctor, so it kind of would make more sense for Spock to be doing these tribble experiments but he has his hands full with Kirk

Kirk is awfully insistent upon Scotty taking shore leave when he should very well remember what happened last time

“You’d think he’d be a vodka man.” And he is!

Klingons don’t understand Kirk at all. He IS a little soft <3

Where’s that post that’s like ‘the AOS writers just listened to this one Klingon speech about Kirk and wrote his character based on that?” I mean... not totally inaccurate.

Actually it is a potentially interesting speech. Is this really how his enemies see him based on his reputation? Or is it just, like, a bunch of generic insults you could apply to pretty much any captain of a group you didn’t like?

Poor Kirk, missing out on this fight scene.

Lol the drink joke. Does it make sense? No, but it’s funny all the same.

“Captain’s log: I am forced to cancel shore leave.”

Angry Daddy!Kirk and his unhelpful children. You’re ALL grounded!!

“No this is not off the record!” Not even gonna debate that Scotty.

This whole Kirk and Scotty scene deserves an Emmy.

Spones + Tribbles

The extra hilarious thing about Spock talking about the uselessness of the tribbles and Bones defending their cuteness as being an end in and of itself is that Spock DOES canonically like soft, pleasing animals. Even in this episode!!

The tribble wants to be captain.

Kirk collecting tribbles lmao.

“Don’t look at me, it’s the tribbles that are breeding.”

The tribbles are bisexual. Just like Captain Kirk. (Yes this is two different uses of the term that mean totally different things and I do NOT care I just like hearing the word “bisexual” in DeForest Kelley’s voice.)

I feel like Uhura must be so lonely.. Trying to talk to Spock about the moon. Meeting shape shifting aliens who become native Swahili speakers just for her. Trying to buy love in the form of small, cute animals.

The tribbles have been taken from their predator-filled environment. I am VERY curious about their native environment now. What eats tribbles?

“It’s you I take lightly.” Honestly this level of sass almost makes AOS Kirk seem IC.

“Licensed asteroid locator and prospector.” Brb changing careers.

“But he is after my grain!”

Kirk saying “au revoir” is funny on its face for how he echoes Cyrano what’s-his-face but also because it reminds me of Shatner saying “I’m from Canada, so I speak French.”

No, the tribbles got in his food! That is the last straw.

It’s hard to tell because it’s covered in tribbles, but Spock appears to have a very odd looking salad. (Or that large piece of fruit is a tribble, really hard to tell.)

Spock’s “fascinating” was so quiet.

“They’re into the machinery all right.” First, lol, and second, isn’t Scotty supposed to be in his room thinking about what he’s done?

You can really see that missing finger.

Gonna beam down some tribbles too.

And now to top off this bad day: the indignity of having a bunch of dead tribbles fall on his head. To wacky music.

“Gorged? On my grain?” It’s more likely than you think.

And like........you realize someone off set is just continuing to throw little puff balls at Shatner's head at regular intervals during this whole scene? One just bounced right off it.

And the answer to the tribble problem is literally “stop feeding them” which is so obvious that I assumed it was just harder than one would think not to feed a tribble. Since no one fed them. And they continued to eat.

I also love how Bones comes into his best friend literally buried in tribbles and doesn’t even blink.

Whereas Spock’s here with his mouth this thinnest possible line, trying not to laugh.

They like Vulcans! They have good taste.

Spock is definitely that type that has secret low self esteem so he builds himself up with confident comments at every opportunity.

“He’s a Klingon, Jim.”

Kirk REALLY likes threatening the Klingons with tribbles.

I feel like leaving Cyrano to single-handedly clean up the tribbles over 17 years is not a punishment that makes sense because like... must the station live with the tribbles until then? Also, where is he to put them?

I think they should be returned to their native habitat to be eaten by predators according to the natural cycle of life.

Are we to understand that SPOCK suggested beaming the tribbles on to the Klingon ship? Perhaps I have underestimated his prank war abilities.

I’ll be honest, this ep is very entertaining and for that reason one of my favorites, but I don’t know that it paints the Enterprise, and Kirk in particular, in the best light.

Like... I am really torn on Kirk’s treatment of the undersecretary. I know he often doesn’t much like administrators and diplomats and other people who don’t seem to have much RL experience, and certainly this Federation official got on his bad side immediately and understandably by misusing the red alert.

But... Kirk isn’t at all subtle about not liking him. I mean he literally says “I don’t like you” and that’s just objectively unprofessional, which he is not. The sassiness was way unsubtle, which could be funny, but it just didn’t seem IC.

I can almost justify it because of the red alert mix up--that’s everything Kirk hates: violating regulations, showing disrespect to him and his crew, uncalled for manipulation--and I think he has the right to be upset about it. But he continues holding this grudge for a long time. It feels like it’s just as much about not personally caring about the grain as about anything else. Like he’s dismissive about the grain because he personally has never heard of it. So obviously it’s not important.

That’s too much that conventional-wisdom arrogant, dumb Kirk for me.

I guess I just don’t understand, why so much hatred for the undersecretary? Because his two biggest sins were the red alert and employing a Klingon. But as I already said, I think Kirk’s ire is disproportionate to the first offense and no one knew about the Klingon until the end--because a tribble, not Kirk specifically, found him out.

Otherwise..this guy was right! The grain was important, losing it or having it sabotaged would have very bad consequences for the Federation, it is Kirk’s job to guard it, and he should do it well. He was also right that the Klingon threat was real!! He’d brought in the Klingon threat but he was still right about it existing. The Klingons did in fact sabotage the grain! And although we hear at the end that there was magically more grain out there... I don’t get how or from where.

Furthermore, he used the red alert specifically because he seemed to think Kirk wouldn’t rush over to protect the grain otherwise, and Kirk is so dismissive of this “just wheat” that he kinda proves the guy right!

Anyway, I can see the grains of this Kirk (lol pun not intended) in his general characterization, but it’s too over the top, to the point where it’s OOC. He does take his job, including the diplomatic aspects of it, very seriously, and I think an IC Kirk would protect the grain, and maybe be only occasionally, subtly sassy to the undersecretary.

But this was such a crack-y episode overall... it was like everyone was turned up to 11 and pushed slightly to the side.

It was a fun ep though with a lot of very classic scenes, and it’s another reminder that Spock likes soft, adorable animals.

I will admit that I actually do not think the tribbles are particularly cute. They kind of weird me out. They’re just lumps of fur.

Next is The Gamesters of Triskelion, which I vaguely remember as a decent but not great episode.

[trensu]

Episode 6: the One Where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married

YES, GUYS GALS AND NB PALS, WE ARE AT THIS MOST WONDERFUL EPISODE.

OUR FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DRUNKJ!LWJ

AND THE HANDFASTING THAT INSPIRED A MILLION FICS

Okay, to set the scene, we’ve got JC, NHS and WWX having a sneaky drinking party with Forbidden Alcohol

Obviously, LWJ can spidey-sense when a rule is being violently broken so he appears at the scene of the crime to BREAK UP THE PARTY (or possibly a threesome?? He’s not sure but he’s gonna put a stop to that immediately)

HIS SERIOUS BB FACE IS SUPER ADORABLE HERE, GUYS

LIKE, I’M MORE PARTIAL TO WWX BUT UGH, LWJ IS SO CUTE HERE???

IT’S AWFUL

WWX: *bounces right into lwj’s space* join us for a drink lan zhan!! We earned it after defeating the Haunted Water!!

LWJ: *stares over wwx’s shoulder* alcohol is forbidden in the cloud recesses

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, LWJ?? IS IT BECAUSE HE’S SO CLOSE TO YOU SUDDENLY???

WWX: chill out dude *playfully tugs on lwj’s sleeve*

Oh man, the glare that lwj shoots at wwx’s hand here could have started a fire. I mean, it must have at least burned a little with how quickly wwx lets go

LWJ: Report to the Punishment Chamber

Did they have to call it ‘punishment chamber’??

It sounds like some kind of kinky sex dungeon, which, like, to each their own,(i’ll read some kinky sex dungeon fic every once and a while, myself)

But this is Ancient Fantasy China summer school…seems a little inappropriate in context

ANYWAY

WWX again tries to coax LWJ in to having a drink with them. He doesn’t understand how someone can just…not drink alcohol. Oh wwx, you budding alcoholic you

And here WWX nobly sacrifices himself to save his drunk buddies by distracting lwj (who was about to call for backup, like a narc) and pins some sort of mind-control talisman on him

Wwx: sit and have a drink with me!

Lwj: *sits down and takes a shot*

Lwj: *passes out*

Wwx: omg i killed him. WAKE UP YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!! YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!! 

Wwx: *proceeds to gently guide lwj onto the bed*

You know after that initial panic, wwx looks too damn pleased with himself, especially after he gets lwj to call him wei-gege

Wwx suddenly notices that lwj’s ribbon is off kilter and informs him of it bc that’s what friends do

Wwx: your ribbon is crooked

Lwj: *scandalized gasp* crooked??

Why’s he so adorable when he’s drunk?? LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO SEE HIS OWN FOREHEAD AND GETTING ALL CROSS-EYED, WHAT A CUTIE

Wwx: i can help!! 

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand* Go Away

Wwx: you’re making it worse!!

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand away harder* DON’T TOUCH! THE RIBBON IS ONLY FOR FAMILY AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

And now we have a way to measure their queer queer love for each other without making the censors mad

How does this show do it?? This is gayer than most of the stuff aired in the US and the US doesn’t even have that kind of censorship laws media producers here are a bunch of COWARDS, disney i’m looking at you

Wwx: lol, significant others, really?

Lwj: what’s so funny

Wwx: nobody’s gonna marry into the lan clan with your thousands of dumb rules and chronic allergy to fun

LOLOLOL BOY HAS NO CLUE. JUST YOU WAIT WWX, YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE WORDS

Wwx: nope, you are gonna be Forever Alone

Lwj: …that’s fine

This is actually kind of heartbreaking tbh

He’s so resigned and pretending so hard not to care!!

HE TRULY BELIEVES HE’S NOT LOVABLE *UGLY CRYING*

Idk how the actor did it bc lwj still has a very placid expression on his face but it somehow manages to convey like, a sense of loneliness while still looking adorably drunk?? Idk man, i think black magic might be involved

All this to say POOR BB LAN ZHAN, COME HERE SWEETIE AND LET ME HUG YOU. YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE, I SWEAR.

Wwx is so incredulous at this response. Like he totally believes lwj would be okay staying alone forever but he doesn’t understand it

Bc wwx is a dumb teenage boy who doesn’t yet have the emotional intelligence to see that lwj is just saying that bc he’s scared and hurting

Now we get to see an acute case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome like we did back in episode 2!

Wwx: your mother must be so bored here all the time

DAMN IT WWX

WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BRINGING UP PEOPLE’S DEAD MOTHERS???

LWJ: i don’t have a mother 

He says flatly HIDING HIS SORROW

*UGLY SOBBING*

HE’S SO SAD AND LONELY GUYS

IT HURTS TO LOOK AT

WWX: you can’t not have a mother! Somebody gave birth to…oh.

There’s a crack vid somewhere on youtube with this scene voiced over “it was at that moment he realized…he Fucked Up”

And it’s true

Dumb boy

Here WWX makes up by sharing his sad orphan story with LWJ. it’s so sweet

THEIR SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS

UGH THIS SHOW

LISTEN, ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY AND WE’RE BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE

LIKE, WHAT??

HOW. HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS IN TEN MINUTES. THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE EP EVEN.

WWX: my parents died when i was four and I can’t remember their faces–but i do remember getting chased by feral dogs

POOR BB WWX

HE CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR FACES 

OH, but we do get to see Actual BB!wwx in a brief flashback (within a flashback, remember this summer school business is not present time, how weird is that) and he’s riding a donkey while his mama and papa walk beside him. It’s adorable.

And after all that Emotional Vulnerability, he’s like “i’ll drink to that bro!” and makes a toast

I actually kind of like the toast he makes here with lwj tho

He tells him “may we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is worth forgetting”

Idk if that’s like, a traditional toast or something he made up on the spot, but i like it

We get a brief moment of plot development here. 

AND OOOOH, THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!

So some Lan SNITCH barges into the room where lqr and lxc are at and is all “we caught wwx drinking Forbidden Alcohol!” and lxc’s expression is all gently amused

but then Lan Snitch continues “LWJ was with him!!” and lxc’s amused expression quickly morphs into Very Alarmed

(right before that all happened tho we get to see lwj fall out of bed, still passed out drunk and wwx laughs at him. I can’t even hold that against him bc i totally laughed at lwj too)

The camera now shows us some frankly HORRIFYING beating sticks (paddles?? Do they qualify as paddles?? THEY’RE HUGE AND SCARY AND MADE OF NIGHTMARES)

And bc LWJ is too honorable for his own good

Lwj: i am at fault and accept my punishment!

And goes on his knees to willingly get beaten. STOP THAT LWJ

WWX IMMEDIATELY steps in to take the blame, like no, it’s actually my fault bc i forced him to drink when he didn’t want to. LAN ZHAN SHOULDN’T GET PUNISHED!!

LQR: (proving that lans are all Dramatique) ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CLOUD RECESSES??

Take a chill pill, old man. A teenager getting drunk is not gonna start the apocalypse (probably)

And here lwj completely ignores wwx’s attempt to absolve him and is all no, I Made a Mistake and Must Get Punished 

Wwx: STOP ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT YOU IDIOT

So the punishment is kind of…harsh, but also lol bc as soon as wwx sees lwj take the beating without flinching or even staggering under the strength of the hits (lwj is truly a stronger man than i; one look at those Nightmare Sticks I would’ve run for the hills), he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay steady

Wwx: *internally but you can totally read it in his face* i’m not gonna let that bastard one-up me!! I have WAY more experience taking punishments. I am the punishment KING.

Okay so that all happens and afterwards WINGMAN LXC STRIKES AGAIN

LXC: wwx, you should definitely visit the family’s private cold spring

LXC: you know, so you can heal faster and not miss class

LXC: not for any other reason

I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO THANK GOD AND ALSO JESUS FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE

WE ARE AT THE COLD SPRING

LOOK AT WWX RUNNING TOWARDS LWJ

WET, HALF-NAKED LWJ

Wwx: *leans coquettishly against a tree thing and pouts* why didn’t you tell me about this spring? Friends don’t keep secrets from friends!!

wwx, you’re so clever, how can you be so stupid – boy is flirting at max level and doesn’t even realize it???

Lwj: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE *frantically robes up like some virginal maiden which he kinda is*

Wwx: your brother told me!

Lwj: *internally* brother why

And here wwx gets into the cold spring

Wwx: so cold so cold, let me get close to you where it’s warmer~! *dives right into lwj’s personal bubble*

Lwj: *takes a HUGE step back*

Wwx: *pouts* you know i didn’t like you much before but after our Romantic Moonlit Sword Fight and our Sword Fight By the Waterfall, i’ve decided i like you a lot and we should definitely be friends forever

Lwj: *doesn’t even look at wwx* That’s Not Necessary

Wwx: before you reject me, let me show you all the ~benefits~ to being my friend! *starts to strip*

(I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU, HE LITERALLY SAID BENEFITS AND STARTED TO GET NAKED)

LWJ *is Horrified in a Repressed Gay Way* WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WWX: getting naked?? To heal better?? I thought this was obvious???

LWJ: *determinedly walks away*

WWX: wait don’t leave!! I’ll keep my clothes on! Anyway you should definitely visit me in yunmeng and i can pick lotus seeds for you. That’s totally what i meant about benefits.

LWJ: no

WWX: i can also introduce you to all the pretty girls there!

I CRACK UP EVERY TIME AT THIS. WWX, THAT IS A WHOLE GAY BOY YOU’RE TALKING TO, OH MY GOD

Then it turns out the cold spring is actually Haunted Water 2: This Time It’s Personal and tries to drown them

See this is why i don’t trust any bodies of water

They’re all out to get us

AND NOW WE GET TO THE  CAVE OF WONDERS (or cold pond cave, whatev)

Wwx: what is happening

Lwj: *is fascinated by the cave of wonders*

Lwj: *internally* ooooh Magic Guqin!! (BECAUSE HE’S A NERD LOLOL)

Magic Guqin: NOT TODAY SATAN *attacks wwx*

Wwx: WHY IS IT ATTACKING ME, I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!!

brief pause here to point out that we meet the bunnies now!! Hello bunnies!!! Everyone in the fandom loves you~!!! 💗💗💗

Okay so Magic Guqin continues to attack wwx but wwx is a Clever Boy and figures out that it’s only attacking him because he doesn’t have a sacred lan ribbon

Wwx: lwj, quick, give me your ribbon!

Lwj: *FLIES RIGHT OVER TO WWX and proceeds to bind their wrists together with the SACRED RIBBON ONLY FAMILY ANd S.O.’s CAN TOUCH*

Then the camera zooms in on the metal piece of the ribbon that is now swaying gently between them like, Subtlety? Never heard of her!

Camera: yep, this is totally a straight thing that straight bros do together

So now that they’re bound together for eternity the boys approach the Magic Guqin

Lwj slaps wwx’s hands away from the guqin here – just bc i let you touch the sacred ribbon doesn’t mean you can touch the magic guqin that tried to murder you

BC LWJ IS A MUSIC NERD AND IS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER THE PRECIOUS MUSICAL HEIRLOOM

LWJ proceeds to reverently play the Magic Guqin and we have this moment where he’s like, floating in space surrounded by glowy blue lights??

Idk man, it’s weird but we’ll roll with it

This is the first time we see him communicate with spirits using music, btw. 

Now we meet Lan Yi!! Who is a badass and important for plot reasons but the Valid Reason she’s mentioned here is because SHE OFFICIATES THE WANGXIAN WEDDING (bc we’ve already established that we’re not here for the plot lol)

the boys are tied together with the sacred ribbon and then they bow to a clan elder. How is that not, bare minimum, a handfasting??? 

Okay, technically, lwj bowed to the elder first to show respect while wwx stood there all stunned until lwj reminded him of the Importance of Manners. Then wwx bowed. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.

“You two being here must be destiny!” lan yi says, “i’m gonna do some plot exposition so pay attention.”

Thankfully we are not lwj or wwx so we don’t have to pay attention at all!!

At some point, wwx makes a clever comment and lan yi is all “wwx you’re as smart as i thought!! 

Yes yes i definitely approve of you marrying my great great great grand-son/nephew/whatever the heck he is, idk i’ve been in this cave too long with only bunnies for company" (🎶bunnies are better than people, buns don’t you think that’s true~?🎶 I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT REFERENCE, DISNEY YOU STILL SUCK I JUST HAVE POOR SELF-RESTRAINT)

Okay, she for real complimented wwx’s intelligence (bc I guess everyone’s hot for WWX’s big brain? Idk) but i’m pretty sure she was thinking the rest of that really loudly in her head

Then more plot stuff happens and the episode ends!!!

Beautiful, phenomenal episode. One of the MOST IMPORTANT Wangxian episodes we have!! 100/10 stars, would watch again.

Return to Masterpost

[eeveevie]

sweet on you

Butch struggles to come to terms with how he feels for his traveling companion. In a quiet moment he keeps staring, wishing and wanting for something more...but what the hell does he even want? And what does Rosie want? 

I dub this “Butch can’t deal with his feelings for this NERD” inspired by @its-sixxers notes. Oh baby Butch, it’s okay to feel things! 

Butch DeLoria x Rosie Sheridan (Lone Wanderer)

2315 words | [read on Ao3]

Butch was starting.

He knew he was doing it, but he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. From over the pages of the comic book, still stuck on the same panel for the last half hour, he had been looking at Rosie from across the cramped room—just watching her. They were camped out in a cleared-out storage room in the Metro tunnels on their way back to Megaton, the door wedged shut so they’d both be able to rest. But neither had fallen asleep after snacking on their rations—retreating to their own spaces to sit in comfortable silence.

Rosie was sitting atop her bedroll, legs crossed as she scrawled away in her journal with the same concentrated expression as always. She would pause to nibble on the back of the pencil, lips moving as she silently read over the words she had written. A little glimmer would sparkle through her eyes when she thought of something new, scribbles intensifying until she was satisfied. If she was deep in thought, she would press her fingers to her forehead, brushing her too-long dark-brown hair out of her face, mumbling when strands would get caught in her glasses. (Butch didn’t understand why she still refused a haircut from him.) Sometimes those fingers would trail down to her cheek, tapping further down to rub at the pulse point of her neck and—

Butch gulped, watching her as she did just that, head tilted to the side as she glanced down at her notebook with a sigh. She had unzipped her vault suit just enough that he could see the pale expanse of her neck and barely—just barely—her collarbone peeking out. If he was any closer he might have been able to peer down and check for cleavage. He closed his eyes tight, wondering when he had gotten around to checking out her body.

He’d been staring at her a lot recently, but if he was being honest with himself—which he almost never was—he’d been looking her way a lot longer than in recent weeks. And it wasn’t just to take a quick glance at her ass or tits. Butch had been studying her behavior, her moods, memorizing the little quirks that made her happy and the actions that irritated her beyond reason. Now that they had built a friendship, he wasn’t about to go back to the way things were in Vault 101. The longer he observed, however, the more he began to realize he had started to care for her—and that was as frightening as it was nauseating. He had gone soft in her company and maybe that he could reconcile but he didn’t want to admit he had grown sweet on her.

Out of all the girls in the Wasteland, Rosie was the last person Butch wanted to have feelings for. Maybe because they were practically attached at the hip ever since meeting up in Rivet City all those months ago—if he had the opportunity to be around other gals, maybe he’d have the chance to get lucky, spread his wild oats (he swore he heard some of the older vault guys use the phrase). The thought of ditching Rosie behind just to sleep around provided him with enough guilt that he shook the idea away. Sure, she’d get along fine without him, but there was something about being separated from her that didn’t sit right with him. They were a team, a gang, and—shit—Butch was a lot more than just sweet on her.

And yeah, they’d kissed—which only intensified his feelings. Rather, he’d kissed her, given her one hell of a good first kiss that he hoped she documented in full detail in her journals. Dear Dairy, Butch DeLoria is the best kisser in the Capital Wasteland—not that she had a reference point—and not that he wanted her to have one. He kissed her because—well, why the hell not? He wanted to, and even if she hadn’t dared him, he might have gotten around to it sooner or later. Lucky for him that Rosie wanted the same thing.

At first, he thought it would be fun to be her test subject—as he coined, thinking he’d be living the easy life as her companion with a few extra added perks. But after an evening of lip-locking and sucking face she sent him back to the common room, red-faced and hair disheveled. He took the dismissal in stride, thinking it would be only a matter of time before she was grabbing at his collar for round two—but that never came. Not the next day, not the day after and not as they traveled from Rivet City back West.

Though, what did he expect? This was Rosie—goodie-two-shoes, prudish, never-been-kissed (until he got his hands on her) Rosie. Ever the shy and timid nerd, she wasn’t going to make the first move or express any heartfelt emotions—if she had any to share. Butch suddenly felt uneasy, wondering if that was the case—did Rosie even…like him that way? She seemed receptive to playing tonsil-hockey and if her jittery, nervous behavior was any clue to go off of, she liked him plenty.

Okay, but then why the sudden avoidance? Man, girls were weird. It was never this hard in the vault. Or maybe it was, with the slim pickings and the rampant jealousy, but he definitely cared less back then. He was used to getting what he wanted, fueled by teenaged hormones, but something was holding him back when it came to her. With Rosie he couldn’t just manhandle her or sweet-talk her clothes off. And while the thought of her naked was more than nice (he really didn’t want to admit to how much more frequent those dreams had been), the idea of having something a little more stable with her was nicer.

When he was sixteen, he had tried going steady with Susie Mack, only because she was constantly hanging off his arm anyways. It was fun, but it didn’t last very long—and her dad made sure they never got proper alone time. He grimaced—now was not the time to be thinking of former flames. He wondered if there even was such thing as dating or traditional courtship in the Wasteland. Not that he was much of a romantic, but for Rosie, he wanted to try. Dear Diary, Butch asked me to be his girlfriend! Maybe she’d etch little hearts around his name. He felt a dumb grin pull at his lips.

At the same time, Rosie ‘s eyes flicked up and did a double take when she realized he was looking over before smiling sweetly, bashfully. Her palm went flat against her neck, fingers curled in her hair as she regarded him. In that moment, for Butch, it was the cutest damned thing she could’ve done, sending his heart into a pitter-patter—damnit—she didn’t even know what she did to him, did she?

Just as she glanced back to her journal, he shifted, catching her attention. “Hey.”

In the small space, it didn’t take long for him to move over to where she was, pausing when she flinched in surprise at his sudden closeness. She quickly closed her notebook, holding it to her chest as she looked at him. “Butch?”

Admittedly he hadn’t thought his movements out thoroughly enough. What was he going to do? Scoot over to her and just lay one on her unexpectantly? He wasn’t sure if Rosie would be as open to that sort of action given how much time had passed since their last kiss. He reminded himself firmly—no manhandling—unless she asked for it, which only had him wondering if she would. Oh, Butch—take me!

He blinked hard, snapping himself out of the fantasy before he got carried away.  

“Butch?” she called his name again, shoulders relaxing a little as she stared at him in confusion. “You’re…really quiet.”

Yeah, he had been pretty silent that evening—just watching her write as he tried to read his comic while Three Dog’s voice quietly echoed from her discarded Pip-Boy nearby. Usually he had a snippy remark for everything and never wanted to stop talking until he passed out, so this was highly uncharacteristic. Her eyebrows knitted together the longer the silence stretched, and he awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Yeah, about that,” he started, sitting in front of her properly. Their knees knocked together, but she didn’t move away—not that she really could with the stack of lockers behind her. “I’ve been thinking.”

Rosie only looked more perplexed, hesitant even as she nodded. “Okay.”

Butch scratched at the back of his head, finding it difficult to meet her eyes. Suddenly his entire body felt too warm even though he had already discarded his jacket—he tugged at his shirt collar just to will some air against his skin. It shouldn’t have to be this hard. “Ya’ think when we get back home, we can find some time to…go out?”

Realization slowly fell across her features and to his relief, she didn’t appear upset. “Are you—Butch, are you asking me on a date?”

The little smile that she struggled to hold back was the most adorable thing. He flashed her his best, winning grin. “Yeah, yeah I am. Whatcha say?”

Rosie dragged her teeth over her bottom lip nervously, but the action only made him focus on her mouth, thinking back to his original plan and how much he wanted to kiss her. In true Rosie fashion, she simply nodded, nervously avoiding eye contact as their legs bumped together again.

“You gotta say it out loud, Stitches,” he teased, unable to resist from using his pet name for her.  

She rolled her eyes, cheeks tinted pink. “Fine. Yes.”

“Yes, what?” He knew he was risking getting rejected, or worse, kicked out of the safety of the room, but he needed to hear her say the words.

She locked onto his eyes, baby-blues shimmering. “Butch, I’ll go on a date with you.”

He nodded, trying to hide his glee but it was hard not to smile at her and how pleased she looked. He had done that, and he wanted to keep thinking of ways to make her happy—anything to keep a smile on her face. It only seemed natural to lean in and at least try his luck, flicking his gaze from her eyes to her lips so she’d get the hint. She didn’t lean away but rested her hand against his knee, pushing slightly so he’d stop.

“Butch,” Rosie’s voice was soft, and he shifted uncomfortably—she was going to be the death of him. “You called Megaton home.”

He shrugged. “Well, yeah.”

Briefly, her smile increased before she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his in a soft and chaste kiss. Butch was surprised she had taken the leap and made the first move—his move—but was simultaneously glad for it. It was better this way, with her setting the pace. Knowing his lecherous mind, he’d move too fast and be pushing her to the ground before she was ready. He could do slow if it meant he could be slow with her.

Rosie pulled away faster than he would’ve liked, but the hand on his knee had inched a little higher, which was—fuck—either she was clueless or knew exactly what she was doing. Her sweet, innocent little smile told him otherwise and he gulped, resting his hand over hers if only to casually slide it back to a safer spot.

She flicked her gaze to where his bedroll was pushed up against the other set of lockers on the opposite side of the room. Not too far away, but with enough space between them that they could have their privacy. She was obviously nervous, free hand flying up to toy with her hair and glasses.

“You can…sleep closer if you want,” she said quietly, looking down at their hands. “No funny business.”

“Serious business then,” he retorted with a wink, earning a soft laugh.

Butch worked on shifting his items over as Rosie tucked away more of her belongings before moving herself into her sleeping-bag. She observed him from that spot as he mimicked her movements, ensuring most of his things were secure before stretching himself beside her beneath the thin layer of his own sleeping roll. It wasn’t quite like how he envisioned sleeping beside her—he would’ve preferred to have been invited to stay in her bed back in Rivet City—but he wasn’t about to be picky. As he stared up at the rusted ceiling, he felt her tiny hand sneak over, fingers lacing into his. For a long while he lay there, content to hold her hand until they fell asleep until he heard her soft little sigh, reigniting the baser part of him once more.

He squeezed her hand and turned his head to look at her. “Hey, Rosie…” she hummed, and when he scooted closer he claimed it as a victory when she didn’t move away. “Do…you want to make-out for a little bit?”

Her giggle was unexpected, but the sweetest sound as it echoed in the darkened maintenance room. Finally, her fingers tightened around his as she glanced over at him, eyes shining with a kind of delight he hadn’t seen before. A small nod, and she was rolling onto her side to face him. “Yes.”

A woman of few words, but that’s what he loved about her. Love—his brain became cross-wired on the word, but he buried the realization deep and focused on getting lost in her kisses instead. He could figure out how to tell her how he felt later—but first he needed to figure it out for himself.

[lila-sarows]

tct ep 15: what CAN’T alex gallner do

Hello!! I cried my way through this episode and now I am processing my thoughts by word-vomiting them below. Full disclosure a lot of these are just my favorite lines because there were so! many! good lines!! thank you Briggon!!

Of COURSE it’s a black parade remix adam you fucking emo nerd i love you so much

Adam’s entire monologue. Wow. @ Briggon i did not need to be exposed on live radio like this

“When you feel like a supporting character in your own dumb story” and “If you do find a way out, please tell me” and “Those feelings are mine and they matter.” GOD. It’s so hard to listen to Adam, who I know is funny and smart and interesting and brave, be so self-deprecating. But yes Adam your feelings do matter!! 

(He sings to himself that’s adorable)

I really spent like 2 minutes trying to figure out if the convenience store guy was a recurring character who was going to kidnap Adam

“God, let me come back as a fern in my next life so I can rest” ME. @god i just want to be a succulent

Love that Mr. Wannabe-Goth thinks he likes crows but is actually terrified of crows

The number of times that Adam has talked about holding Caleb’s hand in the past few episodes is very good. so much Yearning in this boy

“I should call him - nope! Nope nope nope nope. .... but maybe? No” dork <3

Sitting under a tree on campus at night feeling emo... the true introverted college student experience

I really like that Adam is aware that his insecurities aren’t rational but that doesn’t make them feel any less convincing. That’s very realistic to me

“I think he was the love of my life” + “Why didn’t he want to be with me?” + “So much of me getting through high school was having Caleb there helping me to navigate this stuff” every time Adam’s voice breaks I feel Vulnerable. 

NOT RIGHT NOW CROW

Tbh I think Sadie’s being too hard on Adam. Does she really need to berate him right now? (And thank you Adam for pointing that out!). For one, even though Caleb was also hurt by the break-up, he did absolutely dump Adam (and ghost him afterward) and they are technically exes. He gave Adam no reason to think that breaking up wasn’t what he really wanted, so it feels weird for Sadie to tell Adam that he shouldn’t have assumed Caleb wanted out. And for another thing, his apartment just got invaded by four very intense people! Let the man sit under a tree if he needs to!

I like knowing that Caleb still talks about Adam all the time, that’s sweet

“Why don’t you think you fit in?” “because I’m me” ... ouch

“It’s why I- “  what does that mean Sadie? Why you what???

Again it kind of rubs me the wrong way for Sadie to tell Adam that he should be less focused on himself and more considerate of Caleb’s feelings. I know Caleb is struggling, but he put Adam through a lot, then and now! 

I can’t listen to the stakeout and not cry, it’s just a fact of life. Also the parallel between them at the start of their relationship, hopeful and goofy and sweet, and Adam now, lonely and doubting his own worth, is excellent and I hate it.

“You felt... tired with it. Does that make sense?” “Yeah. That makes sense.” the delivery of this line haunts me. alex how dare you.

Some marginally more collected thoughts:

There’s something really beautiful about hearing Adam say that he wishes someone would really listen to and understand him on live radio, where in the real world so many listeners are hanging onto his every word. I love getting to feel like we’re there for him even if he doesn’t know it

It sounds like Adam always saw the Atypical gang from TBS as more Caleb’s friends than his (even though Caleb and the rest told him that wasn’t true), and he was really hoping Yale would be where he’d find his people, his community. And when that didn’t pan out, and he lost his boyfriend, he blamed himself. I just wanna shake him until he realizes how much the people around him love and value him! I mean, look at Sadie - while I think she was too harsh, she did give him a pep talk in the middle of the night. That’s not nothing!

Alex did SUCH an amazing job with these monologues, I was practically holding my breath through them. Thoughtful and wry and bitter and nostalgic and dorky and insecure all in one incredible (and very painful) performance. 

I didn’t connect the dots between Caitlin being so strange and Caleb at the time but yikes!! will discuss in ep 17

[fandom-necromancer]

1302. I thought we were friends.

This was prompted by an amazing anon! Don’t worry, it sounds like an AU at first but it isn’t! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

‘Yeah, yeah, of course you got the smug face right!’, Gavin laughed, sitting legs crossed on Elijah’s desk. The boy stood proudly next to the android, who consisted mostly of skeletal metal. Only the face and hands were moulded with plastic, as they were working on the gestures at the moment. The walk and run cycle had been finished by now, as well as a rudimentary software for analysing situations, emotions and reacting to them. The most recent one had been learning, but Elijah had restricted that to simple tasks for now. At Gavin’s comment, he frowned and scratched his stubble he had grown ever since it didn’t look like total shit. Gavin never stopped to tease him about it. ‘Oh, come on, I worked hours on that, Gav!’ ‘Yeah, I know! And it looks really good. But it’s so you to get the smug expression right and fail with a smile.’ ‘Okay, fine, point taken.’ ‘Maybe if you didn’t pull all-nighters all the time, you would actually smile and practise it yourselves!’ ‘Ugh, Gavin, if you build an android I’m sure he could curse like a sailor and all he could do is complain.’ ‘Yeah, maybe. You gonna drive me to school or no?’ ‘Of course. Gat your things, I’ll just send him to sleep real quick.’ Gavin nodded and ran upstairs to gather his things. Five minutes later they were in the car. ‘Promise me, you get some sleep yourselves, Eli?’, he asked. His brother laughed. ‘Other than a Reed, a Kamski never sleeps.’ ‘It would do you some good, though. You are no robot. Besides, I want to be there when you continue working on him.’ ‘Fine, I’ll try to get some sleep too. You know it’s a bit more difficult for me to enter stasis than it is for RA900, right?’ ‘Just try, a few hours are better than nothing.’ ‘Hey, you already had me at I’ll try!’, Elijah laughed, ruffling his hair. ‘But only if you try to talk to at least one person! Ask for a pen or something, I don’t know.’ Gavin deflated. ‘I knew there was a hidden cost. Okay, you sleep more than three hours, I’ll talk to someone. Deal.’ ‘Good’, Elijah nodded, squeezing his brother’s arm. I’ll be home waiting for you and then we can work on him together! Have a nice day.’

-

As Gavin sat in the bus to drive home again, he was excited. He hoped Elijah had kept his promise, because he had talked to someone and it was awkward as hell, but at least didn’t end in a fight. It was a win for him and he could finally focus on what he hadn’t stopped thinking about all day: Their android project. ‘Hi Gavin, your meal is in the fridge! You’ll just need to reheat it and you’re good to go!’, his mom called from the living room. The boy left his bag at the door and went to the kitchen. ‘I’ll go eat with Elijah, okay?’, he screamed back, knowing they normally wanted him to eat with them. ‘Oh, your brother isn’t home at the moment’, his mother told him, having come to the kitchen too. ‘Amanda visited and wanted to show him something at the lab. I’m sure he’ll be back in the evening. Why don’t you come sit with us?’ Gavin was deeply disappointed but didn’t want to show too much. He loved his mother and it would make her sad to see him like that. ‘Oh, yeah sure, I’m coming.’

-

After he had finished eating, he went down to the cellar to do his homework and wait for Eli. He had promised to wait for him. Gavin knew he was learning a lot of new things with Mrs. Stern, but lately he seemed to be gone far more than he was home. He missed his brother, missed playing with him. Building his robots together was something Gavin used to stay connected, faring the day he would inevitably leave. Gavin didn’t have a lot of friends. Or any at all. He felt like he didn’t need them, not when he had his brother, but now he was alone. And he didn’t like that.

‘This is for you’, a robotic voice spoke up next to him. Gavin looked up from where he had sat staring at a closed chemistry book. The robot showed his weird smile, not the real thing and yet still close enough. They were still working on it, after all, and smiles are difficult. He held up a flower made from copper wire. Eli would without doubt curse later he left the creative learning program online and lost most of his material to it. ‘Why?’, Gavin asked, not taking it. ‘You look sad.’ Gavin sighed, turning around. He wasn’t really up for company, still mad at Eli. ‘RA900, please go back to your station’, he said sounding tired. The android retracted his hand, scanning the wire-flower. ‘You don’t like it? I can make another one.’ ‘What? No, I… Just go.’ ‘Did I do something wrong, Gavin?’, the android asked. ‘Jesus Christ, just go, you stupid tin-can!’, Gavin shouted, frustrated at the day that had started so well. The android staggered back. A reaction Gavin had influenced Elijah with. ‘I thought we were friends’, he said, and Gavin could practically hear the social module speaking to him. ‘Just phck off!’

It was around eight o’clock as the front door opened. It was distant, but Gavin had sharp ears and the cellar was quiet. It didn’t took much more time for Elijah to come down to the cellar. ‘Gavin, I’m so sorry, but Amanda came and I didn’t want to call you as you were in class at the moment and then I had no time and-‘ ‘It’s fine’, Gavin said, not wanting to look at his brother. ‘But you have to stop.’ ‘What?’ ‘You have to stop with these androids.’ ‘The hell are you talking about, Gavin?’ ‘Eli, you are constantly out, you sleep far too little and you are putting all your time into these machines. That can’t be the life you wish for! What happened to us? Also, they are getting too real! You are not trying to build robots; you are trying to replace people!’ Elijah shook his head, not really following Gavin’s train of thought. He had just gotten here; Gavin had a whole day to think it over. His only option was to get defensive: ‘What the hell do you mean? I worked hard for this. I certainly won’t stop now. What happened?’ Gavin stood; his anger now evident. ‘Your dumb robot came to me. You know we planned working together on them, but no, you decided to phck off to play chess with your nerds or something and guess what, the machine came up to me because I was lonely!’ Eli frowned, then grinned. ‘Brilliant! Then the code works!’ ‘The wha- Of course it works, but that’s beside the point, I-‘ ‘You were lonely and he offered company. Gavin that is a breakthrough!’ ‘Eli, yes it worked. But I was lonely because real people, the people that matter weren’t there. You can make them as human as you want, but you’ll never replace the real thing. Humanity is lonely enough with constant competition instead of companionship and all the hate in the world. We don’t need puppets to give us the love we want. We need humanity to change!’ Elijah shook his head. ‘Gavin what the hell are you talking about? Hate in the world? Since when do you care for that? I thought you out of all people were smarter than that. You are one of these lonely people. You don’t have any friends at school, and you fail to get to know new people. You are so dependent on me as your brother being there for you you forget that I’ll be gone someday. I’m giving people like you the chance to not live their miserable life sad and alone. Let the real people out there find happiness with each other and I give your kind the love and companionship they need with my machines. I’m doing good out there. I don’t know why you can’t understand this!’

Gavin stared at his brother, letting the words set in in the total silence. He shook his head close to tears and in the end he turned and ran away to hide them. ‘Gavin, wait, what-‘ He couldn’t run to his room because his parents would see him and there would without doubt be another fight he didn’t need on top of this. So, he tried to keep quiet and wait next to the stairs leading up from the cellar. Elijah didn’t come out of his room to follow him and apologize. In fact Gavin could hear the music being turned up.

He hadn’t thought Eli had the ability to be so cruel. Had this been what he had thought since the beginning? That he was broken, just because he couldn’t read expressions and was too scared to misstep to even try? Had his brother, the one person he had always trusted and knew he could tell anything, betrayed him? He couldn’t take it. He had done so much, his brother had been his idol. He studied forever to understand math and physics and chemistry, subjects that were so difficult to him. But he wanted to help his brother and understand what he told him, wanted to be useful. For what? To be told he was a lesser being? No. Phck all of this. Phck Eli, phck his studies, phck school and phck life. He would suffer through school and be out of this household the first chance. Maybe there really was a difference being a Kamski or being a Reed.

His breathing had calmed down and he was ready to wipe his tears away with the cold determination he felt at heart. Only to hear the damned plastic talk in the distance: ‘That was cruel. Your brother is in distress, Elijah. You caused this reaction. You should apologise.’ ‘Shut up, I won’t do anything like that. He shouldn’t doubt my creation.’ ‘His thought process, though subjective, is reasonable.’ ‘Shut up!’ ‘Your relationship could suffer greatly if no measures are taken.’ ‘Listen, RA900, if you don’t obey my commands immediately, I will take measures to force you to.’ ‘I am only following protocol to ensure the humans around me are  happy. Your brother was unhappy the whole day since discovering you left without notice.’ ‘Okay, that’s it. No more free will for you, you damn know-it-all!’

-

Gavin rarely thought about his brother now. But the precinct was calm and silent and there was not a lot to do for him. After the revolution the army had taken over, bringing order to chaos and now that the police were back in charge people still were too afraid to go out much. The pictures of androids being shot in the streets and transported to camps were still ingrained in their minds.

The androids on the other hand had gotten their rights as equals, using that new freedom now to full extend. Goddamn rotten idiotic machines, fakes, gotten rights as human beings. Connor, the people-pleasing phck that had less personality than a navigation system was officially a human now. And everyone loved him. Gavin eyed the machine standing in a crowd of people congratulating him for being back and encouraging him he would have their help if he needed anything. They were laughing and smiling and grinning and there was friendly physical contact and… When was the last time he had been smiled at? When was the last time he had been touched deliberately and with care? His frequent one-night stands didn’t count, they were just there to satiate a need, nothing more.

‘Reed! To my office!’ The damn party crowd didn’t even hear Fowler. No one turned their head to neither the Captain nor him. Gavin couldn’t be bothered being ignored. At least that he knew how to react to. He quickly evaded the people gathering in the bullpen and made a beeline to the glass office. He hoped for some case to keep him out of the building. Hell, he would gladly look at a dead, decaying body instead of the smiling faces of these people.

‘What do you have for me Captain?’, he asked, deliberately ignoring the invitation to sit down on the chairs in front of him. ‘Bad news for you: A partner.’ ‘Oh, please, no. Anything but that.’ ‘An android partner.’ ‘Good to know fate still hates me’, he mumbled. ‘A RK900, prototype, soldier model. It is deviant, but don’t expect too much of a personality.’ Gavin groaned, cursing every decision he ever made to get to this point. ‘Don’t worry’, Fowler tried to appease him. ‘You’ll only have it for a few days, then I’ll transfer it to someone better suited with…  people.’ Gavin swallowed his feelings and the comment that laid on his tongue, just like he always did. Just ignore it, if everyone decides you behave a certain way, own it and rock it. ‘Quick thinking, Captain. Can’t wait till I get rid of this thing already.’ He nodded and only then realised there had been another presence in the office. A tall, heavy looking Connor. White jacket instead of grey and tiny differences in facial structure.

Well shit.

The reason he hadn’t noticed it any earlier had been that the huge form somehow excellently huddled into a dark corner as if it wasn’t the tallest person in the room. Now it stepped up to him, but kept its hands tightly clutched in front of it. No handshake then. Fine with Gavin. ‘Get a move on’, he sighed, sounding deliberately disinterested. He walked down the row of desks, sat down at his own, knocked on the one opposite of his for the android and started up his terminal. A few days with a robot by his side would be okay, he knew how to ignore people. Had been his talent from the very beginning.

‘I… I…’ Gavin looked up. Was this the android? It looked down on his hands having sat down on the other chair, refusing to make eye contact. ‘I… I… I…’ It started over and over again, making Gavin think whether this was a malfunction of some sort. ‘You?’ The android flinched. Hard. Why was that even possible? The android pressed his eyes close, LED red. Then he blurted out: ‘Fowler is wrong!’ Gavin chuckled, leaning back in his chair. ‘Little boot-licker, or why’s that so difficult to say?’ ‘N-No!’ The android nodded when the word finally left his mouth. ‘I… I… I…’ ‘Would you phcking hurry up, tin-can, I don’t have all day.’ ‘I have personality!’ He looked up, watching out for any reaction. Gavin just shrugged. ‘I don’t care.’ ‘Y… You don’t understand! People say that all the time, that I’m fake or not deviant or weird or that I don’t have a personality, but I have!’ ‘Good for you’, Gavin said bored to shit. ‘But I really don’t care.’ ‘I was never designed to stand up for myself, but I will, if someone diminishes me like that!’ ‘Didn’t see that up there.’ He pointed his finger to the glass cube. ‘Just saying.’ ‘Be-Because he’s authority! I can’t get on his bad side!’ ‘Listen, tin-can’, Gavin sighed, leaning forwards, acknowledging the android once and planning to never again do this again. ‘I really don’t care what your personality is, who you are and what problems you have. To me all of you are fake because I saw you being invented with my own two eyes. I know exactly you run on code and learn from it. You may look and sound human, maybe even act human, but you are not human. You are machines. And I don’t care what conflict your directives order on you, but I. Don’t. Care. You’ll be gone soon anyways, so tell that to someone who wants to hear it and baby you up about it as if you were real.’ ‘That was cruel. You should apologise.’

That was cruel. You should apologise. How on earth…

‘Excuse me, what?!’, Gavin spat, not sure if he should be mortified or furious. ‘What you said wasn’t nice. You should apologise.’ ‘Of course it wasn’t nice, that’s the entire reason I said it!’, he spat at the android. ‘Humans…’ ‘What did you just say to me?’ ‘You humans are all the same. Before the revolution, afterwards, you are all the same. You never change. You are cruel, you never accept someone different. As long as someone is human made of flesh and bone you stand together. But as soon as someone is different, you look down on them and think less of them. Maybe I am fake. Maybe I am built and invented and maybe my thoughts are just code. I’m still a person who demands respect. Because maybe I’m not human, but I’m definitely human enough!’

Gavin sat there, painfully reminded that that were exactly his thoughts all these years ago. When Elijah had called him broken. Was he really that different from his brother? Seeing someone who had more difficulties than himself and deciding they were weaker because of that? Less worth? It couldn’t be, right? He would never be like Elijah, because he could never be this cruel. He was right with his thinking, wasn’t he? An android couldn’t be equal to a human. Never. They were too different. He was right, this was just another fake pretending to be human and there was no such thing as being cruel as there were no real feelings to be hurt. He looked at the android, who had gone back to looking at his hands and did something he hadn’t done in a long time: Read the person in front of him. He took his time to really look at him and piece together what he had learned from experience, because he had never been as good at that as any other person he met. And what he saw made him feel guilty. Maybe fake feelings could be hurt just as much as real feelings could. Maybe it was just as painful.

‘I’m sorry.’ The android looked up, surprised. ‘What?’ ‘I’m sorry for what I’ve said’, he repeated. ‘Whatever I think of you should not have been a reason to hurt you by saying it. We can’t stop our thoughts, but we can correct our actions.’ Silence followed. Uncomfortable Silence. A silence Gavin wanted to ignore by simply turning to his terminal and getting to work. The android would be gone soon anyways, so why care about what he said and why and how much it would have an impact on the thing? This would just be another reason for others to get at him again. He already regretted saying his mind and showing his self he had successfully buried so deep even he forgot it existed at times.

‘Thank you.’ There was a small smile, lopsided and imperfect, looking much like RA900s all these years ago. ‘You are the first to ever apologize.’ ‘That shouldn’t be so surprising’, Gavin mumbled, really wanting to end this conversation. ‘Maybe not. But people rarely do that.’ ‘Yeah, well, phck people’, he said with too much emotion than he would have liked. The android chuckled. ‘Well at least we can agree on that.’ ‘You should get to work, tin-can.’

[wolfflock]

Please, Keep Love Hole (ch20/21)

What can one lonely nerdy teacher do when he just loves sucking cock? The lone bathroom stall in a gay bar seems like the perfect place for him.

What can one hyper college student with a sports scholarship do when his friends are jerks? The lone bathroom stall in a gay bar seems like the perfect place for him, too.

Chapter summary: Some light fluff before the last (smutty) chapter. I just felt the boys deserve nice things so here it is.

XXX

Over summer, things take on a new form of normal: Stiles works in the coffee shop five times a week, then goes for a run after each shift. Derek gives summer courses for high school students, tutors college students and runs a book club for little kids (which Stiles totally thinks is adorable as hell). All in all, it’s probably the best it has been in quite a while for Stiles. He is content with his routine, with being able to focus on his well-being, and all this provides enough time for the two of them to explore their relationship.

After they are done with work, they usually meet at the park to enjoy the sun and to just talk. Derek seems to be inclined to take things slow, and Stiles is totally fine with this. It might have been a surprising challenge to just slow down and not rush things, because honestly, that’s not what he was used to, but then again, he argued, Derek wasn’t a college student looking for a quick summer fling, so Stiles tried to match his pace. Taking it slow meant it’s been two weeks and he still hasn’t been to Derek’s place, and if anyone thought (Stiles included) that Derek would be willing to go over to Stiles’ dorm room, well, yeah, no, I’m a bit too old for that, Stiles. So, it was usually neutral ground, with plenty of people around, keeping things certainly PG. As far as Stiles is concerned, though, it is all good, great even, and it is no one’s business that most of the time after he walks Derek home and kisses him goodnight, he most definitely doesn’t even try to keep things PG while taking a cold shower to calm himself down. He is a healthy (and finally, he feels like he is) nineteen-year-old.

His friends seem to be relieved that he is doing better, which makes him appreciate them even more. He has caught Scott looking at him with a fond smile on his lips when he thinks no one is watching; and Danny is back to being more tactile with him, bumping into his shoulders, slapping him across the back, and just not treating him anymore like he might break by the slightest breeze. Jackson is still an ass but in an affectionate way, always ready to snarl at anyone who looks at Stiles the wrong way. Which happens, sometimes. People whisper when he walks by, gossiping about the popular (dumb) jock who couldn’t handle his drink and the smoking hot Prof Hale had to save his ass.

It’s a mixture of shadenfreude and envy, he knows, but it still hurts. He can only imagine what would happen if people actually knew about him and Derek. They never wanted to keep it a secret, which Stiles is really delighted about, because sexy Professor Hale doesn’t want to keep him a dirty secret! But they try to be as professional as they can be, so they usually don’t go to places where a lot of Derek’s students would be. It’s easier now that it’s summer and they don’t have to be on campus, and the town is sometimes like a ghost town because a lot of people have left.

To be with Derek over summer, Stiles decides against going home. When he tells his dad, he sounds pleased that Stiles is at a good place and tells him not to worry about him. He can visit his hometown whenever he wants to, but he should enjoy his summer with his new special friend. That comment makes Stiles groan and bang his head against his desk.

Scott, though, is planning on going home for the summer, so they decide to celebrate his last night there. It takes a lot of back and forth between Stiles, Danny and Jackson to decide what they want to surprise Scott with.

“We should go to that new arcade like place that opened by the swimming pool,” Stiles, resident nerd, says.

Jackson’s eye roll is so exaggerated that Stiles is surprised he didn’t sprain something.

“…or not, okay. What do you suggest then?”

“How about some cocktails and pool in MacTavish’s? I’ve heard that’s a hot spot for summer schoolers” Jackson supplies which earns him two sets of very judgmental eyes.

“Dude, they aren’t even allowed to drink,” Stiles replies.

“Neither are you, Stilinski,” Danny interjects, and Stiles can’t fault his logic there.

“Yeah, I’ll leave the fresh-out-of-highschoolers for you, Jackson,” Stiles shoves at Jackson, who just shakes his head. “I like my partners with some experience,” he smirks, and the other two just groan and ‘eww’ at him. They know about Derek, of course, and it provides endless source for them to tease Stiles about.

“Oh! Talking about experience,” Danny exclaims, “you remember that gay bar with the glory hole?”

Stiles has very vivid yet rather blurry memories of that place and the glorious head he received there. The thoughts make him blush and he wishes really hard that Derek would just not leave him with a serious case of blue balls every time they part ways because then maybe (big maybe) he wouldn’t be turned on by just the memory of a blowjob.

“Yeah,” Jackson confirms.

“Well… umm…” Danny fixes the collar of his shirt, “my sources say the guy hasn’t been there for a few weeks now.”

“Your ‘sources’, eh?” Jackson cackles and mimes a blowjob to Danny, who turns even redder and awkwardly smiles.

“Yeah, his regulars miss him,” he admits sheepishly, and that has both Jackson and Stiles break out into hysterical laughter.

In the end, they go to a pizza place for dinner, then to a 90s themed party. Scott seems happy with their choice and they all have a great time.

At the beginning of August, Stiles is having breakfast with Derek at their favorite pastry shop, when Derek looks at him, hesitant, unsure, and it makes Stiles’ heart painfully clench. He is both apprehensive and excited by that look. He reaches out and runs his hand down Derek’s (broad, muscular, very impressive - hey! mind out of the gutter!) back, which seems to relax him a bit.

“It’s Zoe’s birthday next weekend,” he says after a while and Stiles is just staring at him.

“Mhm,” he supplies eventually, when Derek seems satisfied with saying this much.

“I would like for you to come with me,” Derek says, hand reaching out to touch Stiles’. It takes Stiles a second to realize that Derek is actually asking him to meet his sister, not his niece. His sister, Laura, the only family he has.

Stiles swallows his apple strudel and fighting down questions like what am I going to do with a bunch of little kids around, I am not good with kids, he smiles at Derek.

“That sounds great. What is the plan?” he asks and is shocked by Derek’s beautiful smile. That smile alone is worth putting up with kids for a morning.

He only freaks out a little when Derek tells him that it is tradition in their family to cook and bake together with the birthday girl or boy, and then to play boardgames. The bigger freaking out comes when he realizes that he is a terrible cook and that he has never had to spend a whole day with a child around, let alone several.

“I can’t do this. I am nineteen! How am I expected to be able to handle this? Scott, heeeeelp!” He knows he is like a petulant child – maybe he should join the partying kids instead of cooking with the adults – but Scott is just laughing at him.

“Dude, louder, please, my speakers aren’t screeching just yet,” Scott laughs at him, but there is an affectionate and understanding look in his eyes, even through the pixelated image of his laptop.

“Sorry. But seriously, buddy, I am so not mature enough for this. I mean, I know that Derek is 26 and I should have expected, like, adult things, but not this fast, you know? Also, it’s not only that there will be kids, but his sister, who he hasn’t talked to for years. What if I fuck that up? What if I do something stupid and ruin their newfound bond?”

“Stiles. Trust me, you won’t. Derek likes you,” Scott says in a serious tone, the one that belies his youthful features and makes him sound really wise. “He believes it will be okay, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked you to go. Besides, he wants you to meet them. That’s a big thing.”

“I know,” Stiles groans. “I just don’t want to fuck this up, too. I have made quite a lot of mistakes lately, but this is something that I want to do well,” he confesses, although he suspects Scott knows all this, maybe knew it even before he himself did.

“And you won’t. Just be yourself, be nice to them and if you’re unsure about something, be honest with Derek.”

“Dude, when did you become so wise?”

Scott laughs, and looks at the camera. “I miss you, buddy.”

“Yeah, I miss you, too.” There’s a beat before Stiles continues. “Thank you. Honestly, dude, thank you for always being there for me. You’re the best.”

“Aww, dude, stop, you’re going to make me cry here,” Scott sniffles and waves at Stiles. “Now go and get something for the birthday girl.”

Stiles says goodbye, promises to call soon, and leaves his dorm to meet Derek and buy a present together.

They brainstorm over coffee and Stiles talks excitedly about games that are probably not even age appropriate for Zoe, but he likes the sound of them. Stiles is too excited to notice the adoration in Derek’s eyes as he watches Stiles gesticulate wildly, showing images on his phone to Derek, describing toys and games. In the end, they go with wooden blocks and a picture book – neither of which are princessy because Stiles is a firm believer of gender-neutral toys. Derek believes him and lets him call the shots. Stiles thanks him by giving him a long, slow kiss in the car that leaves Stiles’ insides tingling. Derek just looks dazed when he pulls back, and a small smile spreads across his face.

---

On the day of the birthday party, Stiles has to get up rather early which makes him grumpy. He stumbles to his kettle to make some tea – he decides that should be enough caffeine, he doesn’t want to end up too pumped lest he makes an ass of himself. After a quick shower, he picks up a dark blue and read plaid shirt and khaki pants, fixes his hair and heads downstairs. Derek is already waiting for him in the parking lot, eyes looking tired but glinting as he sees Stiles.

The drive to Laura’s is a peaceful one, they listen to some music, holding hands. Stiles’ palm is slowly getting clammier and clammier, but Derek doesn’t say anything, he just rubs circles into it.

Derek kills the engine in front of a lovely two-story building, and as they step out of the car, Stiles can already hear rowdy children running around in the backyard. He walks to Derek, takes a deep, steadying breath and nods at him. Derek wraps his arms around him in a tight hug and Stiles melts into it. With a soft kiss to his temple, they straighten and head to the door, hand in hand.

Stiles isn’t sure what he expected to see when the door opens, but he is greeted with… well, Derek if Derek was a few years older and a woman. Same dark hair, although Laura’s seems naturally wavy, expressive but sculpted eyebrows and the same twinkling eyes, which are just a shade or two closer to blue than Derek’s.

“Derek!” she exclaims and pulls her brother in a bear hug. “I’m so glad you could make it. And you must be Stiles,” she looks over at Stiles, who is standing there awkwardly, feeling like someone poured a bucket of water down his back, the fabric of his shirt sticking to his back. “I’ve heard so much about you,” she continues which makes Stiles quirk an eyebrow at Derek.

Derek just laughs a little and answers with his own expressive eyebrows that say “What? I do talk about you to my family” and that soothes Stiles’ nerves some.

“Hi Laura. It’s really nice to finally meet you,” Stiles extends his hand, but Laura wraps him up in another big hug. Seems like the Hales are huggers, which Stiles is more than okay with. He misses his dad’s hugs and this reminds him of home.

“Come on in, we are just getting ready to start cooking. Zoe is already helping her dad measuring out flour to make cookies.”

She leads them to the kitchen where a little army of kids are standing on kiddie steps to be able to reach the countertops and help their moms or dads.

Stiles is introduced to everyone as Derek’s partner, which makes him both embarrassed (they never said it out loud, he always just assumed they were there) and extremely proud. Laura’s husband, Zach gives him a knife and he’s tasked with peeling potatoes while Derek is chopping carrots. The kids are loud and messy, but Stiles wouldn’t trade this for anything. The adults are making jokes, the kids are signing and competing, trying to make the most impressive cookie shapes (there are dinosaurs, witches, sharks and dogs, too).

While the food is getting ready, Laura comes over to them to chat. She hands both Derek and Stiles a coke each, which makes Stiles what Derek has told her, but he decides he doesn’t mind if Derek told her about his previous alcohol problem. Derek is looking out for him and he appreciates it. Laura herself is drinking some juice, too.

“So Stiles. Tell me how you two met.”

Stiles almost chokes on his drink but composes himself quickly to reply “In school. Derek was my lecturer.”

Which is true, but not even half of the truth. Derek and Laura share some intense eyebrow-conversation that Stiles can’t even begin to understand, but he feels like this was a test.

“He isn’t anymore, by the way,” he clarifies.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Laura smiles at him, but it is a knowing smile. She looks to Derek then and ruffles his hair. Derek pulls a face, but Stiles can see nothing but love in his eyes.

The rest of the day is spent with a delicious lunch, board games and a lot of laughing. Surprisingly, Stiles bonds with Zoe quite easily over dinosaurs and cookies, and Derek just watches them, leaning against Laura, whispering into each other’s ears.

Stiles’ heart is light in his chest, fluttering excitedly when he sees Derek this happy and relaxed.

“I’m glad we went. I really needed this,” he whispers as he closes the distance to kiss Derek when he drops Stiles off that night at the dorm.

[viktor-noctis]

The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll McSh*tFace

This is my review for the film: The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll McShitFace.

Enjoy.

Tagging @christopherleefan because I think you might enjoy this? Also, I wrote a fic for Taste of Fear (or Scream of Fear for us Americans), and you can expect one for this film as well.

Pre-face: Okay, okay……………………………… Let me compose myself.

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……………………………..

Alright, hit the play button.

London 1874 – I paused just to be sure this was the actual date when the book was written.

It was originally published in 1886.

We’re off to a roaring start.

Ew. Children.

Playing in a garden, yep, this is about what I remember.

Little boy shoves girl’s flowers to the ground, and McShitFace talks about “dumb human animals” when referring to children. We agree on that, at least.

“Play out when they cannot speak out.” Jekyll McShitFace suggests they’ve mentally blocked the ability to speak, due to the fact that they are letting another part of them be free to express itself…. What a load of garbage.

You resigned? Here I thought they fired you for being a creep. The fact that Ernst believes he really is a genius makes me want to punch something.

They’ve been married for six years??

No servants, no friends, and Jekyll has cut all professional ties to study the mind… Like a madman. Yeah, I can see Kitty hating this.

Beyond Good and Evil? Beyond the reach of society?

“A very dangerous man, my friend.” No shit, Ernst. Jekyll is suggesting the ‘higher man’ is the one within, while Ernst suggests that the weaker man maybe the ‘evil’ one. Or what we deem ‘evil’. Jekyll, like some, has come to some crackpot conclusion that by drawing out the ‘evil’ man, the ‘weaker’ man within him, that he can isolate and destroy him… Or something to that effect.

Jekyll never answers Ernst when he asks if he’s used it on anything other than a monkey and I find that telling.

Paul is here. Ernst is leaving.

Jekyll is quite charitable to Paul, if nothing else, and Kitty is putting up a marvelous front. Kitty even tries to get him to spend time with her here, but I have a feeling she knows where this is going. She’s probably done this a million times. This is another for the till.

I can tell Kitty is tired of this. Jekyll spends night and day in the lab. All the time. Yeah, that’d wear on most women. Considering the time period, this is all very strange. Then again, this is a ‘Strange Case’, or it was supposed to be.

Kitty telling him about Jekyll shouting to himself in his room, along with a strange voice that wasn’t his own, for an entire night… “Married to a man of great talent.” Ernst, my dude…

Kitty’s asking if he is insane enough to be sent away. Ernst says he isn’t: “we must both try to help him.” Right.

Christopher Lee! Damnit, he’s so tall. How tall is this actress?

They’re so cute. Terrible, but cute.

The top of her head reaches his nose or so. He’s a damn good kisser…

Kitty looks lovely in blue.

And is an extrovert.

Jekyll is an introvert.

Still hate him.

Don’t bash the girl for liking to go out. Or ask her to: “take the evening off”.

“I need you tonight, Kitty. Stay.” That’s not creepy. After years of being ignored, that’s not creepy in the slightest.

Okay, this might be just me, but… I see Kitty’s perspective. I sort of see Jekyll’s? It’s a grey area. I’ve paused it to explain my reasoning –

Kitty, is an extrovert, as I’ve stated. She gets her energy from going out, being around people, and having a good time. That’s great. Good for her, you have fun girl, and take your boytoy (he really is, as often as he gets in money trouble) with you. Jekyll is decidedly not. To say they are incompatible would be an understatement.

Kitty is the type of woman who glows under attention, who craves it from both her partner and others. But mostly, her partner. Enter Paul, who’s proven to be attached to her mostly through money, but there’s so much more there. Again, I love these two, because they’re so terribly flawed, but so clearly in love.

Jekyll, meanwhile, cut all attachment to “live like a hermit in the center of London”. Ernst’s words straight from the beginning of the film. I bet you Kitty was stifled, for years, before Paul came along. Now, not much is revealed of the how Jekyll became friends with him, when he did, or even why he did, but I want to bet it was during University or something. That seems the most likely theory, given Jekyll’s nature.

The Jekyll side is a bit more convoluted. Again, I don’t think Kitty is being unfair here. There’s no telling how long she stayed lonely, cooped up in that house (reference back to when Ernst talked about no friends, no company, and no servants), and was just… bored, sad, and upset.

Ernst even mentioned the house being ‘in ruins’.

She calls him selfish for making it such an issue. I get the feeling he sort of deserves it. Also, she’s in love with Paul now, so that adds another layer to their relationship not working and being incredibly strained.

“I’m not going to insult my friends for the sake of your whims.” Is what her argument amounted to. Again, the movie is making her sound like the selfish one, but you really have to take into account the history, nature, and aspects of each character. In doing so, I don’t really think she is. I think she’s in love with another man, bound to a farce of a marriage, and is doing the best she can by not staying near her creepy husband.

And yep, human experimentation time.

Yeah, go ahead McShitFace, sit at your desk and wait to become The Literal Worst.

Party time. I’m shuddering. Too. Many. People. Ew.

They’re both terrible.

I love them.

Awful.

Paul complains of being bored, and yet she is bored doing the things he likes. They jab and jibe. He looks at another woman. They jab and jibe some more.

They’re bickering like they’re already married.

Get a room.

Terminate their relationship?

They bring up their attachment, again, always with the money. Kitty likes a man free of shame, Paul thinks he might lose her to a man who had even less. Hahahaha. You nerds. You’re in too deep and you both know it.

The Literal Worst has arrived. And he’s uglier than ever.

The Sphinx? That’s the name of this trash heap ballroom?

Hyde looks like a Tool. Barely two minutes on screen and he’s got the Creep Smirk going.

Hoes do not stand together, I see.

Paul and Kitty smiling at each other, having a grand old time. I love them.

Hyde showing his true colors already, by eyeing up Kitty, while dancing with another girl (though I’m pretty sure she’s a prostitute. Or just a woman who gets around, living off other men’s money). Wow, he also says some not-so-nice things to her before heading after Paul and Kitty, who’s having a hell of a time. Paul can also be a jackass –

“Don’t drink too much tonight, my darling.” She says it with such tenderness, while taking the glass from his hand.

“Cunning little kitty cat. Rather a dull husband than a drunken lover, eh?” Paul’s already slurring. He’s entered cad mode. Feel free to kick him to the curve, my dear. He deserves to nurse his hangover by himself.

She just looks disappointed.

Kitty’s creep alert is going off. Listen to it, honey. Run. Run, far away.

She’s trying to take Paul home.

Then going to dance with Hyde. Fuck. Kitty, listen to your Creep Radar.

Friendship with Kitty? Honey. No. Run. “Can I trust you?”

?? Kitty. No. Do not trust the creep.

Prostitute girl is back, claiming Hyde tried to force her, and some dude wants recompense. Kitty just wants to go home. Paul refuses to leave, to help Hyde.

Has common sense become a commodity that only Kitty is buying??

“Give the lady a few sovereigns, and there’ll be no trouble.” Yeah, sounds like a prostitute. Kitty bids them all goodnight. Paul looks sad to see her go. Should have thought about that before you acted the bastard.

Hyde tells them to go to hell and take the trollop with him. Dude dives at them, Paul knocks him out… And Hyde keeps hitting him. Paul stops him, telling him not to kill him, and then asks him if he’s ill.

“Let me alone, Jekyll. Let me alone.” Dumbass. Jekyll voice coming out of Hyde. That’s not creepy. Paul looks amused by the creep show. Hyde leaves the place, screaming, and being weird.

Lots of voice changing. This actor is actually really good. Jekyll realizes what he did, because Hyde says: “I will be back, Jekyll. I will return.”

Jekyll: “Never. Never.”

So he knows this was a bad idea?

Goes into Kitty’s room, whose reading, and she starts talking about her ‘party’. She wants to go to sleep. Jekyll still comes closer, being a creep. Creep Radar is blaring.

“I need you, Kitty. I need you desperately.” And he comes in, trying to kiss at her, mouthing at her neck. Like a creep. I know this is a parallel to later in the film (yeah, it’s terrible), when Hyde is in control, but I still hate this.

I had to pause during the next scene to do a deep character analysis –

Kitty pushes him off, telling him she’s tired, and even says “please”. As if she should have to beg him to keep his damn creep hands to himself. He still has a wild, crazy look in his eye, and asks: “What are you really like, Kitty?”

“I’m your wife, that’s all I am.” She answers it with such evenness, barely disturbed, and it reminds me of what Paul said to her –

“From perfect wife to perfect mistress, and back again to perfect wife.”

This movie has a lot to do with the masks we wear. We change them, depending on who we’re talking to: family, friends, strangers, lovers, etc. All the different relationships we have require a mask, shadowing the core of who we are, because letting someone see everything of ourselves is too terrifying to consider. We don’t show our true selves out of fear, pride, or some other convoluted mixture of emotions.

However, every mask has a basis, a template of origin.

I feel as if, at some point, Kitty really did love Jekyll. She must have. She married him not for his intelligence, not for his money, but because she genuinely loved him. Kitty loves too deeply, too strongly, and has all the hallmarks of a woman who has been burned by that depth of attachment.

“It’s my fault, a woman who shows her feelings always loses dignity.” Kitty says this during the first bit of the dance she has with Paul, which reveals so much of her character. She doesn’t look at him when she says it, the pain of her admittance is too much, and she shies away from anyone witnessing it. Even Paul.

Her relationship with Paul is strained right now. It’s weird. It seems like neither of them knows where it’s going, too afraid to continue, but even more horrified by the prospect of letting the other go.

When speaking of breaking their ‘arrangement’ (look up ‘affair’ in the dictionary), Kitty suggested Paul wouldn’t be able to get along financially without her. Paul rebuffed her, saying that Jekyll and he had been friends for years, and she was just his dutiful wife… despising him.

There’s an ease between them that feels years old, yet I doubt it was from the get-go of hers and Jekyll’s marriage. No, she probably did hate him quite a bit, in the beginning. But there’s a thin line between love and hate, one that can be crossed with loneliness. I like to think it was physical at first, a build up of tension between a woman caged in a house, and watching this man go out and spend her husband’s money.

It was probably Paul who convinced her to come out with him one evening. Fuck it. Jekyll wants to stay in his lab all night? Well, why should you stay too? Kitty probably said no at first. Why would she go out with this smarmy bastard, who gambles, who sleeps with anything that has legs, and drinks himself silly? But then there’s the wanting, the listening to her husband tinker away, watching life go by without her…

She probably went to Jekyll. She tried to talk to him, have dinner with her in the house that night. Without any servants, she’s learned to cook. He makes a point of trying to be nice but talks about his work… Always his work. She asks him to kiss her, as if that’s something she should have to nearly beg for. And what did he do? On the verge of some great breakthrough?

“Not right now, Kitty. I’m busy.”

Kitty, who is strong, vibrant, and beautiful, is not enough to stir a man from the wake of progress. From pride.

Humiliation and defeat, a loathing that breaks through love, stuffs her chest and nearly throttles her on the spot. Retreating, glassy eyed to her room. She probably cried, mourning her broken heart.

After that, she demands to go with Paul.

There’s probably a touch of shock, then a knowing smirk. He’s probably seen lots of women with husbands who ignore them, falling into his kind of life, dancing and drinking and laughing their nights away.

He’s not ready for this one.

Alright, hitting play again –

“But the woman inside of you, is that woman my wife?”

No. No, she’s not. She belongs with Paul.

Stop shaking her. She’s right. Get out.

Take your: “Who am I?”s and get the fuck out.

Cut to Paul being a cad again. Ugh. Go home to Kitty, you absolute tool bag.

He and Hyde are sitting at a table in The Sphinx with two bimbos. Wonderful.

Hyde is a creep. I will say that no less than ten times in this review. I probably already have.

The fuck is this?

They’re doing something weird.

Really weird.

A snake charmer dance.

Am I to assume they wish us to believe that snake is venomous?

Okay, to be fair, all snakes and spiders are venomous, but the potency of their venom varies in such a way that they effect most human bodies on different levels. I say ‘most’ because you can be allergic to something, and receive a far more harrowing experience than 98% of the population.

However, that does not excuse the fact that the creature in question is a ball python and is therefore basically harmless. Minus some swelling and bruising.

I had to pause to write that, okay, playing again –

Yeah, this poor animal is being abused by being forced into a ‘sensual dance’ with this woman. ‘Tigress’, they call her, kill me now. Paul says she’s exclusive to the elite. Kill me twice over. This dance is the worst. That poor snake is confused.

Paul is looking worriedly at Hyde as he stares, transfixed, at this woman. Dude, he wants to get bitch slapped, let him.

Christopher Lee’s eyebrows are doing things to me. Paul is the real eye candy in this shit show.

UGHASDKFJASDKFNAMSDKFJNASDKF

Jkljasdfklajsdklfansdkfnj

Klasjeirkmaskdfnjkasdjf

Klasdmfnkasndf

JKLASJDKLFNASKLDFNJ

UGH

SHE

SHE PUT

THE SNAAEK

HEAD

IN

MOTUH

WHY? WHY? WHY would –

WOULD uuo –

That poor animal.

Tell me that was fake.

She did not really put that poor creature’s head in her mouth.

This is abuse.

Not to mention, really gross. Salmonella, and a million other diseases could potentially exist on the skin of a reptile. Do not handle reptiles and then touch your face, or eat, or put any part of their body inside your mouth. Wash hands after handling, thank you.

Disgusting.

And people are clapping. And cheering.

Is this what passes for ‘exotic’ in the 1700s????

Maybe it’s my modern cynicism, but I am not impressed. I am shuddering in revulsion.

Mostly because of the snake in mouth bit.

Gods.

End me.

I’m about to shriek.

“Forget it, dear boy. She’s not in the prep-school class. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

Paul. Paul.

Have you ever considered:

She’s blind.

You’re gorgeous.

And you have a gorgeous woman waiting on you at home.

Why do you bother with the bimbos?

Girl on the right is pretty, okay, she’s like… an 8. Chick on the left is… also pretty, but like a 7.

Kitty is a damn 16, she blows them out of the water. There is no competition. When you’ve already had it all, why bother even looking at anything less? She gets bumped up to a 30 for the fact that she has a brain, she snarks, she jabs with the best of them, and is not afraid to leave you to your well-deserved hangover.

I will fight for Kitty’s honor.

Paul. I’m about to throw down.

He calls the dancer over – Maria – and I can already tell he’s going to –

Yep. Be a bastard.

“She only uses Christian names in bed.”

He deserved that drink to the face.

Even Hyde looks surprised. Then impressed.

Pft – HA! I have to quote this:

“Well, ladies, it seems that I must entertain you both.” He says, while soaked with what one can assume is scotch. “I trust that you will not be too disappointed.” Girl on the right looks like she expects to be disappointed. Ms. Left has her game face on.

“Oh, we’ll just have to manage.” Left is already up and at it.

“Somehow or other.” Right is playing along for now.

“Thank you for your confidence.” Paul’s reply does not sound confident in the slightest. He follows them through a curtain doorway. I’d say, ‘poor bastard’, but he doesn’t deserve my sympathy right now.

Hyde is creeping on Maria now.

“Keep away from him, he is dangerous.”

Yeah. To medium sized rodents.

Actually, considering Hyde is nothing more than a big, smelly, greasy, slimy rat –

Nah, wouldn’t want to give the poor thing indigestion.

“Your friend talked to me like a common whore.”

I assumed you two knew each other? I don’t know, they are weird and vague on that. Alan says he’s tried, then claims what names she uses in bed, and she did throw the drink on him afterwards. I’ve no idea.

I will give this to Hyde: He is a smooth talker. He is also, however, still a bastard.

And the makeup they used on this actress is not flattering at all. I’ve seen pictures of her, and she was beautiful. They somehow made her look hideous. ‘Impertinent’ is a word, though not quite the one I would use for this piece of garbage.

I love putting subtitles on. They’re so dumb.

(Soft sensual music) my ass.

Of course they shag. Why wouldn’t they?

She’s given him an in, now… “You do not buy, you do not beg.” A man who ‘takes’. No, do not give him that.

“A nice, cold wife.” I’m so furious.

They do have a servant! An old woman. Probably a concession after years.

“Mr. Hyde.” Creep.

‘Nanny’.

“Lately, this house has become unused to visitors.”

“The wife of a recluse…”

Trying to sweet talk a woman in love will not go over well for you.

Paul’s??? Paul’s friendship. What a save.

“The question of trespass hardly arises. Mr. Allen has no property rights in me.”

And as for Henry: “Henry leads his own life. He doesn’t seek my approval, and I don’t seek his. Is that wrong?”

OOOOOOFFFFF.

Sweet talk till you talk like that.

“To the boredom of being a neglected wife, and the humiliation of being a rejected mistress.”

It almost felt like she was into the flirting till he said that, but I still get the feeling she wouldn’t have slept with him. You can enjoy flirting, some people do it for a living, but not the act that comes after. As I said before, Kitty wears many masks. This one is short-lived. Hyde has insulted her, and the change in her demeanor is like a switch.

Kitty loves too deeply, to be reminded of her first failing, and the possibility of her loss of Paul is a kick in the teeth. Is she not worth loving? Is science, money, knowledge, other women – is she just no match? Can she have nothing out of this?

“I must say, you are honest. A trifle obvious, perhaps, but honest.” And too close to the surface, too close to the proverbial nail. Kitty is genuinely afraid of losing Paul, and it shows. She’s clinging onto something she feels she can’t hold onto, whether for her already damaged pride or because she doesn’t want to be hurt again. Her face only really started to shift when he said mistress.

“My great affair has already begun.” She’s pulling herself so easily from his arms. He talks about great love since he felt her in his arms, and she just turns away with this casual walk of a knowing woman.

“It was well advanced before ever you appeared on the scene.” She looks almost proud, though there’s still this edge to her. She expects it to crash and burn. She’s just waiting for it.

“I wonder what is the special quality in a man as weak, unscrupulous, and utterly unreliable as Paul Allen?” This really bothers him. Hyde is essentially Jekyll unchained, a copy of the inner, dark urges of one man laid bare, and given free run of the place… And he’s a total rat bastard.

And Kitty is smiling. Kitty is overjoyed.

“I don’t question your description, Mr. Hyde.” She’s radiating with delight. Even that description of Paul in all his awful glory stirs nothing but happiness in her.

“Well then, but why…” And he’s reaching for her, stroking his fingers over her back. It’s this odd mimicry of how Jekyll tried to hold her that night. Ugh.

“I merely happen to love him.” Yes! SHE SAID IT!

“Love? Love is an idiocy!” And she’s laughing again. I’m beginning to believe Kitty uses laughter to cover her pain. Hyde/Jekyll McShitFace uses rage.

“An idiocy of mine, perhaps, but a fact.” Then we get this beautiful close up of her face, the vindication with which she says it has me living –

“I love Paul Allen.” Love, you must be so blind and so wonderful.

(Ominous music). As Hyde descends back to his basement to turn back into Jekyll. Back to the sewer, your garbage monster.

Ernst is here. Okay, something weird is happening again. Jekyll has a heightened metabolism. Probably from sustaining two rat bastards instead of one. I’ve no idea how much time has elapsed, but quite a bit I’m guessing. A week? A month? Another year? Nah, probably more like a week or so.

Jekyll’s life is “burning out at a much faster rate.”

Kitty is fed up with being Paul’s ‘bank clerk’. Yeah, let’s bring Henry into this. ‘Let him deal with life’s little problems and leave us its gaiety’? You are a cad. Why do you love him again, Kitty? You can do better.

She’s sick of being used.

“How can you talk of our love in this way?” Love? Is this the first time you bring it up to her? While asking for money? Aklsjdfkasjdf

Men are annoying.

“You hypocrite!” Thank you.

Debts of honor, my pale ass.

He’s going to Henry.

Ernst knows he’s addicted to something. He says it’s more damning, whatever it is.

At least Paul is honest. Jekyll is being cold to him now. He knows about him and Kitty now. He goes back to his work desk. ‘Going away’. Right. Run.

Paul gets nothing. Notes something must be wrong with him.

Kitty is worried about Paul now.

And fuck – Jekyll is giving full power of his shit to Hyde. His estate, his money, his assets, everything goes to Hyde. This happened in the book, of course, but this completely cuts Kitty off as well.

Also, he even says he’s using Hyde to ‘learn all he can’. You pretty much know it all. Kitty, your wife, is in love with your ‘friend’, Paul. It’s not that hard. You’ve effectively been gaslighting them from the beginning.

“For do I want to return to a life of frustrated isolation and loveless misery?”

I.

I have…

So many problems with this statement alone.

You left your wife, even said it yourself, neglected. For years. So much so, that she’s alone as well. Of course she searched for something beyond you, when you chose to isolate yourself first… And you know what? I’m happy for Kitty, she found something, someone to love and love her in return. Is it perfect? No, but –

Anything and everything can be traced back to you, you sorry sack of literal shit. I’m about to lose it. He’s reaping what he’s sewn, and now he’s trying to escape it.

I’m so pissed off.

He drinks more stuff. Great. The return of The Literal Worst is upon us.

Wow… Never heard Christopher Lee say that before –

“Damn bad luck you’ve been having, I hear, Allen, old man.” Some man comments on the state of Paul’s life, which has gone to hell in a handbasket.

“Damn bad luck.” Paul’s agreement seems to taste as bad as the cigarette he’s smoking. I wonder how many are his, in that overflowing mound of ash and stumps, at the center of the table.

“Oh, well, luck’s a bitch, old boy.” Not sure that was a saying yet, but maybe this is the one that starts the trend.

“Oh, I shouldn’t think so.” Paul looking like he’d like to swallow down the rest of the decanter on the table, with Hyde being the creep that just walked in. “I’ve always had the best possible luck with bitches.”

I just about spit my tea. Not even kidding.

“Almost always, anyway.”

You’re terrible. Kitty should leave without either of you.

How is this review over 4K words? Who’s still reading this?

“Women aren’t a weakness they’re a recurrent necessity.” Paul. Paul. What are you doing?

‘Oldest mistress’.

Paul. You’re awful with money and it’s obvious.

They’re going to go out on the town. Like bastards. Hyde is The Literal Worst.

Snap shots of London’s underbelly during the 1700s… Brawling, lots of drinking and bad singing, and… smoking? Opium? Hooka? Who the fuck knows anymore.

Paul’s out. Hyde is doing the 100-yard Creep Stare.

Paul is out making debts again. ‘Honorable’ ones, at least.

Now he’s out of ideas. It’s been a week. He spent all that money – 5,000 in a week. Ouch. “But you, are a fool.” We agree on that. That is the only thing Hyde, and I will ever agree on.

“And I’ll try Kitty.”

Ha.

Haha.

You can see the wheels turning unpleasantly in Paul’s head. His brow is doing that furrowed thing when he’s confused.

“What the devil do you mean, Hyde?” You know what he means, you just don’t want him to go on. You’re hoping he doesn’t mean what you think he means.

“Well, that should be simple enough for even you to understand.” Again, insulting people while mixing in kind words, though his next ones are far from kind: “I am telling you to obtain your mistress for me.”

Paul is rising out of his chair. His brow is still doing that furrowed thing, but it has gotten even deeper. The rage is coming, a wave that was slow to foam, but quick to rise.

“You unspeakable devil.” There’s still some disbelief, but there’s no denying the shock.

Hyde is doing the creep laugh with a – “How very amusing.” Now you can see the anger, it’s chiseling its way into his features, hard and sharp.

“Paul Allen, breaker of every law in the moral code, is shocked into morality.”

Full blown: I’d punch the ever-living hell out of you. I’m about to.

“You vile, disgusting degenerate.” His lips are quivering. He’s barely holding it together.

“Be rational, my friend.” You’re pushing him far beyond ‘rational’. “I’m asking for the temporary loan of a proven adulteress, of whom you yourself have grown somewhat tired.”

First of all: fuck you. Second of all: Kitty already said he has no property rights to her.

“You go back to hell!” Paul. Punch. Him.

Oh… Wait… Yeah, he’d probably get in trouble for that. And then be sent to jail. And I doubt he wants to be in there while Kitty is out here with this lunatic. Yeah, running out before you lose it seems wise.

Still should have throttled him a bit.

Now what is The Literal Worst doing? Going back to the house…

And sneaking into Kitty’s room. You creep. I’ve never wished to jump through a television screen more.

They only have one servant, ‘Nanny’, is her name.

He’s blackmailing her. With Paul’s notes. Fuck. ‘Buy him back’.

She’s laughing. Yes, that is Kitty’s response to being uncomfortable.

“You utterly repel me.” YES! Go girl! She laughs as he storms out, tossing the notes away. Then she closes and locks the door, pressing her back to it. She was probably more than a little terrified.

Hyde assaults a homeless man, shoving him down, and steps over him. That was in the book… Then back to some cesspit that Paul showed him.

There’s something weird going on here with Hyde and this girl.

Cut to Kitty and Paul snuggling. And kissing. This is the quality content I came for. He’s wearing the same shirt from earlier… Which means he probably took a good long walk, had a small conniption, and then went straight to her.

“Why does love make us behave so hatefully to one another?” Yeah, well, Paul has been the terrible one here.

“Because we’re cowards, my darling. We want everything.” I’m not sure what Paul’s deal is, why he is the way he is… He could just be an ivy league guy who grew up, not knowing how to handle money, he might not come with as much baggage as the rest of them.

Why can’t they just be happy and cute?

Go away? Start a new life? Yeah, do that.

Right now.

Leave.

Before Jekyll McShitFace gets back.

Ah, they planned to mug Hyde, using the girl as a means to dupe him. Seems about right. Also deserved.

Ah, Kitty is leaving Jekyll. About bloody time. Also, the wrong time, considering the whole Hyde business.

Jekyll has destroyed his drugs, though admits that Hyde’s grip is too powerful. Right. As if Ernst didn’t warn you it was an addiction. “No degeneracy is low enough to satisfy him.” You mean you, right? Because, he is, after all, you.

The kids are back in the garden. This can only end well.

Oh, they’re leaving. Good…

Paul and Kitty are making out again. Good for them.

Jekyll shoved a kid. Bad for him.

Same little girl who’s always trying to give him flowers. Yeah, he’s losing it. Rushing back into lab to pen a last will and testament one can hope –

Nope, no such luck.

‘Exorcise him’. Right.

Handwriting switch. Interesting.

Paul admitting to Kitty he’s in trouble with Hyde.

If looks could kill.

Hyde lures them with an invitation from Jekyll, about their last evening together being ‘gay’.

Kitty doesn’t want to go, she’s frightened. Listen to your gut.

Paul wants to stay, because they think he’ll settle. Kitty agrees.

Fuck.

Cabaret. Ugh.

Someone get me out of here. Lots of underwear. This is painful.

Hyde making plans to meet with Maria before meeting with Paul and Kitty, who’s dressed for a funeral. Paul. Don’t. Go. Of course, he does.

Up to Maria’s room. Piss it.

More cabaret. I’ll hand it to you ladies; you can cartwheel and front flip. That is impressive. Also, I’m completely serious, because the amount of muscles it takes to do that are insane. Flexibility is also key. Congrats ladies.

Paul meets with Hyde.

“Surely we can keep Kitty out of this.” He knows something’s up and didn’t want to involve her. Smart, but also stupid.

“Hardly.” Hyde’s reply sets my teeth on edge.

Paul. Don’t go into that room. To meet him in private. Fuck me. Backwards. Paul.

A ball python. How dangerous. Paul. There’s a table right there. Squish the fucker. I mean, I’m against animal cruelty, but in the case of the story, that thing is supposed to be deadly. Squish. Squish. Otherwise, leave him the fudge alone and he’ll leave you alone.

Kitty… Don’t go with the creepy man. Listen to your Creep Radar.

Paul’s dead. Kitty doesn’t deserve this. Don’t –

I hate this. I hate this. Paul is literally dead in the other room.

I’m writing so much fix-it fic for this, you won’t believe.

This review is 18 pages long. If you’ve made it this far, may the gods have mercy on you, because my wrath at this point is endless.

Maria is in Jekyll’s house. He told her to go back to that house, put on Kitty’s clothes –

“The pattern of justice is complete.”

Rot. In. Hell.

Paul and Kitty deserved better. They deserved each other.

Kitty waking up, gods’ I hate this. She’s a wreck. Her hair, her clothes… You can tell she’s about to be sick. She’s barely holding it together. There’s a fucking note… A note leading her to the snake… She finds Paul dead. She’s already shellshocked. Out onto the balcony…

“Paul.” Her last word.

She plummets over the balcony, through the glass roof, and –

Cut to Maria saying: “I love you Edward.”

“I can’t love.” We can agree on two things. Those two things.

“I must be free.” Right before murdering Maria.

Jekyll finally takes back over, rightfully horrified, and runs back to his lab. With three corpses under his belt.

What an interesting mirror effect…

“Why must you destroy?”

“I must be free.”

Then we go back-and-forth, about who murdered, who revenged, and who was wronged. They weren’t in Hyde’s way, but Jekyll was. He doesn’t ‘feel’. Yeah, right…

Hyde is every dark, terrible impulse Jekyll has had, given life and form. His desire to be free, to run rampant, has been a desire of Jekyll’s since the beginning. Free the beast so he could kill it… Then proceeded to twist it to gaslight his wife, his friend, and everyone else. He was living a life, a lie, a sham. The desire for freedom from persecution for our desires, to be allowed to do what we want, when we want, without judgement has been an overarching theme in all of society. People are persecuted for what pronouns they want to use, for how they eat, how they dress, how they talk –

However, because Hyde is merely a reflection, one can assume his desire for freedom is mirrored in Jekyll’s continued desire for the same. Jekyll wants to continue to exist, so Hyde must desire to exist in turn. He’s still composed completely of Jekyll’s desires.

He says he doesn’t feel, yet there is a desperation, a fear in his voice when he says: “You must lose, Jekyll.” Because he’s afraid he won’t. He’s horrified by the idea of being trapped forever, of their relation being found out…

Cut to Inspector being on the case at The Sphinx.

Wow, a lady in gentleman’s clothing runs The Sphinx. Nice.

Jekyll trying to leave a letter to Ernst. Yeah, that’ll go over well. He calls a street cleaner over to take his note to Ernst, but of course, Hyde has to upset that plan.

Again, I give props to the actor for the massive amount of voice switching, and playing the ‘tortured’ scientist, and the King of the Creeps.

Hyde is about to kill this street cleaner. Mate, why did you come into this guy’s house to randomly move something for him? He shoots him in the back, of course…

The Inspector arrives! Not in time…

Hyde is about to torch the place. Of course he is.

He puts up a performance for the police, saying Jekyll is nuts… Whole place is on fire, with street cleaner acting as a sub-in for the body of Jekyll.

I swear, if this fucker gets away with this, I will riot.

Is nobody seeing the Creepiest Grin of the Century?

No, of course not, they’re trying to fight a raging fire.

And of course, there’s a court hearing over the whole thing. Jekyll went nuts. True. He was addicted to drugs. Also true, though it’s not any kind ever seen before. Sought vengeance for imagined slights. True again.

“Fortunate to have escaped – “

Screw you.

Death by suicide. If only.

Do not tell me this is how this movie ends.

“A fine man. A fine – “

Shut up Ernst.

“The higher man.” Shut your face hole, Hyde.

Jekyll is coming out.

“I must leave immediately.” Oh no, you don’t, you bastard.

“Help me.” Keep talking, Jekyll. Get out of there. Confess. You deserve it.

Lots of struggling here. Again, props to the actor.

Inspector, Ernst, and everyone are watching. Do it now, you bastard.

He turned back into Jekyll!

Finally! You did something useful!

He looks really old. Apparently being Hyde aged him decades.

You can still rot in hell.

“I have destroyed him.”

“And yourself, my poor friend.”

“Only I could destroy him.” Dramatic pause. “And I have.”

He’s arrested.

Abrupt Hammer Horror Ending.

Kitty and Paul deserved better.

This review is 20 pages long, over 6K words, and it took me 4 hours to get through it because I kept pausing and rewinding to quote.

You’re welcome.

[robotslenderman]

What the children of my vampire ships would be like if they were human and had babies:

Lettow/Elisa:

Totally asks to sleep with the dog on its bed as a 4YO. Lettow and Elisa shrug and let them.

Grows up covered in mud and dirt from hunting for frogs and worms. Spends half their childhood up a tree.

Grows up knowing how to research and care for exotic animals. Most of their bonding with their parents involves helping them look after injured wildlife or their exotic pets, or being taught about animal medicine.

Is helping their dad fly planes by seven years old.

Almost certainly fell into a bog full of alligators by ten years old. Parents never found out until they happened to mention it as an adult. “You did WHAT?!”

Broken 3 limbs by eleven from falling out of trees.

Has their own eagle at twelve, a rehabilitated one that was unable to be released back into the wild. Thought it was weird that the other middle schoolers thought they were lying because what??? that’s not normal??? and was bullied for a bit for being a “liar.” 

When their parents found out about this, Lettow brought the eagles in for a talk on wildlife rehabilitation and the kid was seen as the coolest fucking person in school for a while after that. The bullying abruptly stopped, altho the kid did hide from their classmates sometimes because the popularity was a bit overwhelming for a bit until it died down.

Helping their mother nurse injured juvenile wildlife through the night by fifteen. But only when their parents are overwhelmed and the wildlife has nowhere else to go, such as after major wildfires -- kids need their sleep as much as injured baby animals do!

Applies for a pilot license as soon as they turn 18.

Doesn’t have many human friends from growing up moving around a lot. Very awkward with people unless the subject involves animals.

Totally that drunk person at a college party making friends with people’s pets.

“WTF, my cat hates people, why is she in your LAP?!?” “idk man animals just like me.”

TOTALLY grows up to become a wildlife vet.

Only child; doesn’t have a lot of “quality” time with parents, like just sitting down and talking or watching a movie together, but did spend a lot of time with them. Usually one or both parents were off doing something and brought the kid along, like that time Elisa released young alligators into the wild or Lettow snuck them onto his plane when they were five, or they both had to make a long trip out of state to transfer an animal. The kid was very rarely actually alone.

Had a bit of a lonely childhood due to lack of friends their own age, but doesn’t regret it for a moment because of everything else they got to grow up with.

Olivia/Arturo:

I thought about this for five seconds and noped out

Olivia/Tamika:

Grows up in a loud, raucous house that always has people coming and going.

Fantastic social and negotiation skills

Gets explicit talks on consent and boundaries several times as a kid. Taught how to respect boundaries and enforce their own. Their own boundaries are always respected.

Only child, but a ton of aunts and uncles and cousins. Absolutely not unusual for them to call home going “I’m staying at X’s house” “Cool, call us if you need a pickup tomorrow”

Madeline/Strauss:

(After thinking about it I’m thinking they’re a queerplatonic ship even in VTM)

Total nerd.

Madeline is medicated for schizophrenia, and has brain damage from a car accident which has given her a form of fluent aphasia, and has always been open about it to the kid. Kid grew up with this and is fantastic with people with brain damage and mental disabilities. Befriends the special ed kids and plays with them. Because of Maddy and watching how their father treats her, the kid has never had a problem seeing the disabled kids as anything other than people.

Gets personal homework help and tutoring from their dad every single night

Absolutely doted on, never wanted for love and affection. Very close with both parents. It’s not until well into adulthood that they realise most people don’t have that kind of relationship with their parents.

Has a ton of spooky aunts and uncles who are way too into witchcraft and the occult but as they get older and stop believing in it they just shrug and roll with it.

Has been able to “translate” for their mother since they were a small child.

Very defensive of both their parents; people often think that because they can’t understand Maddy’s form of aphasia it means she isn’t mentally coherent, capable of being an equal partner, or giving consent, and that Strauss is abusing that. So the kid is protective both of their mother’s intelligence and their father’s character.

“Yeah my mum dropped me off at school this morning” “WTF SHE HAS A LICENSE?!?!?!” “Yeah? there’s nothing wrong with her driving” “*Insert ableist rant here*” “... Please leave.”

Other kids have made fun of them for having Maddy as their mother. Maddy laughs with the kids and joins in with their jokes, but also then takes a moment to give the kid a serious talk about it -- she’s okay with them making fun of her, but they must absolutely never make fun of anyone else’s disability.

If the teasing from the kid’s classmate is more malicious, Maddy likes to trip them up with a sudden “yeah, I’m not as dumb as you think I am” when they least expect it.

If another kid at school is kicked out of their home, it’s this kid’s place they end up staying at.

Kid ends up developing schizophrenia at around 20 years old, but aside from the obvious mood symptoms, adjusts relatively well to it because they have Maddy to guide them through it and a good relationship with her.

[strvlveera]

My Her Sweater.

Pairing: Kuroo Testuro x Fem!Reader

Summary: Kuroo gave you his sweater since he considered you his closest ‘girl’ best friend. It’s yours. So why was it on someone else? Especially her.

Genre: Angst (w/sad ending)

Warning: Bad writing :) And Kuroo being a rat

a/n - I’m so sorry that I keep writing angst- This was also heavily inspired by Heather by Conan Gray. That song gives the fEEls! I’m so sorry for any grammar mistakes I finished this at 2 am- ;_; Also I apologise if there are lots of errors or if it’s very rushed ;( Love you all 😤💞

Just incase you are new!

[Y/N] - Your Name

[N/N] - Nick Name

[L/N] - Last name

This is long.

——————————————————————————

Surprisingly lots of people didn’t think you would be friends with Kuroo, mainly because they didn’t know the real you. How different you were when someone really got to know you. That someone was Kuroo.

You first met at chemistry class when you were both assigned as partners. You’ve only heard that Kuroo was an outstanding volleyball captain. Never in your life did you think that he would be such a nerd. You were lucky to have him as your partner since he knew basically half the stuff you didn’t, not that it bothered you. He made jokes that made you laugh and giggle at but he also was a huge flirt.

In class, he would randomly flick a piece of paper at you which would have a random lame chemistry joke that would still make you laugh at how dumb it was. You got caught one time. That was the first and last time you got caught.

Kuroo had given you his favourite sweater and a necklace that said [N/N] for your birthday. “To symbolize our friendship duh,” He told you. Butterflies in the pit of your stomach erupted. Your Lips widened into a smile. He looked at you with his signature smirk. “Really Tetsu? That’s so kind of yo-“ You were cut off by Kuroo randomly tackling you onto the floor. What did you expect? It’s Kuroo. You both ended up bursting into laughter. His sweater was now your favourite piece of clothing and you were never gonna take off that necklace. No one else can take them from you.

You started to catch feelings.

Eventually you two started getting closer. Kuroo even invited you to come and see him practise once and that’s were you met all his friends. Everything was going great, perfect even, until she showed up.

——————————————————————————

When she did appear there were already rumours around the school about her. Saying things like “she’s like an angel,” or “how can someone be so pretty and perfect?”. It didn’t really bother you that there was this ‘new girl’ in your school although you were curious on what she looked like.

At this time you were also looking for Kuroo. When you finally found him he was with someone you haven’t seen before but oh boy was she one of the most gorgeous things you’ve ever seen. You started feeling self-conscious again.

“Is this the new girl?” You asked yourself. You just decided to brush it off.

“Hey Tetsu!” You happily greeted whilst waving at them both. Kuroo and the ‘angel’ turned to see you. “Oh, Hey [N/N]!” Kuroo replied. You jogged over to them as you stared at her. She gave a little wave

“Ah [N/N], you don’t know Megumi~Chan.”

Chan? Im guessing they’re close.

“[N/N] this is Megumi Shimada and Megumi this is [Y/N] [L/N].” We both shook hands. Her smile looked heavenly.

“It’s nice to meet you [L/N]~San!”

“You too Shimada~San,” You replied.

The school bell rang meaning it’s time for class. Bidding our goodbyes to Megumi we head off.

“You know Tetsu,” I asked

“Hm?”

“How do you know Shimada~San?”

“Ah about that, her and I were childhood best friends back in junior high. Kenma also knows her. Unfortunately she had to move to Miyagi but now she’s back in Tokyo for family reasons.” He explained roughly.

So they were best friends. How nice.

I didn’t realise we already ended up in class. Taking a seat, I start to drift off again.

Megumi Shimada huh.

You had no idea that name was gonna be spoken everywhere soon.

~~

Since Megumi came to Nekoma, her popularity skyrocketed. Eveybody and I mean everybody knew her name. Her status grew because of many reasons.

List Of Why Megumi is So Popular:

SHE IS AN ANGEL

Even if you’re mean to her she will never insult you.

Perfect

She smells like heaven (in a good way-)

She’s very smart but surprisingly bad at Chemistry.

HAS A HEART PURE OF GOLD

And the list goes on. I thought the perfect girl didn’t exist. Clearly I was wrong. Every single guy in the school has been fawning over her ever since she came. Especially Yamamoto. Every practice he talks about her. Anywhere and everywhere he only talks about her. Even Kenma had warmed up to her which was a big surprise.

“She knew what game I was playing on my PSP so we talked about it for some time,” Kenma explained.

You weren’t so bothered by her since she’s been so nice to you. She’s literally like what they say she is. An angel. A literal godess

~~~

With Kuroo though, everything seemed to changed. He always talked about Megumi. Planned on going out with her instead of you. He didn’t even attend your annual star gazing nights which he had never missed until now.

“Sorry [N/N] I forgot all about it, I was out with Megumi at that ramen place, I promise to come next time.”

It was always the same excuse and you forgave him. You couldn’t see what was at fault.

“Ah Testsu, I get it just please come next time. It was really lonely without you. Okay?”

“Of course! I’m a man of my word [N/N].”

You believed him but you shouldn’t have.

Even at school you talked to him less and less, only chatting in chemistry. He wouldn’t hangout at lunch with you anymore. It was like you weren’t even part of his life. You still attended their practice matches but soon stopped going since Megumi was always there cheering them on. It seemed they like her being there more than you.

These things gradually started to become a daily routine for you. Each time it broke your heart. But you’ve finally had enough and decide to confront Kuroo about it. To let all your emotions out just this once.

That was a bad idea.

~~~~

You called Kuroo 10 times when he finally picked up.

“Hey [N/N], what’s up?”

“The sky duh,” You joked. I’m so funny.

“Aha how funny but really, why did you call?” He asked.

“I was just wondering if I could talk to you in person, alone.”

“Oh uh sorry [N/N] but I’m with Megu-“

“Oh it’s fine, is it okay if I tag along since I’m bored aha,” you cutted him off. Nervous if he’d say yes or not.

“Oh well we’re are at the park that me and you used to hangout in,”

“Okay, thank you, see you!” You replied.

*Beep*

He didn’t even reply.

You look at your home screen. It’s you and kuroo.

It’s never too late to change it right?

~~~~~

As you were getting ready to go out you couldn’t seem to find the sweater kuroo gave you. You planned to wear it since it was your favourite sweater and it was quite cold outside. Giving up, you hurridly put on a random sweater that looked nice and ran out of your house and headed straight to the park.

When you got close to the park you saw Kuroo and Megumi. Just by themselves. Looking as if they were a young couple in love. Makes you sick just thinking about it for some reason. You brushed it off and continued making your way to them

“Hey Tetsu, Shimada~San!” You greeted.

They both waved back at you with replies.

As you got closer at looked at Megumi you couldn’t believe what you saw. The pit of your stomach drops. You’re in a confused state, slowly turning angry.

“Shimada~San, why are you wearing my sweater?” You angrily asked. She looked so confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I said what I said. Why are you wearing my sweater.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about [L/N]-“

“Then why are you wearing it?” At this point you were getting annoyed at why she didn’t just say why.

“Kuboo gav-“

“Oh! So we are now using pet names now? WoW! I’ll start saying mine tO-“

“THATS ENOUGH [Y/N]!” Kuroo exclaimed.

You went frozen we’re you were standing.

He had never called you by your first name ever since you first met.

“I-I gave her it.” He explained.

..what?

Hurt.

Confused.

Every single negative emotion was put upon you at that very moment.

“Y-youre kidding,” You breathlessly say.

Kuroo looked straight at you, full of guilt.

“I’m not joking [Y/N].”

Ouch. Another bang to the heart.

“Did you take it from my wardrobe?”

“Where else would I get it from-“

“Kuroo that IT’S MINE! YOU GAVE IT TO ME,” You cutted him off.

“IT DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU [Y/N]-“

“OH REALLY?” you could’ve believe him at this point.

“YES REALLY,” he shouted back.

“So you just gave it away to someone else when you gave it to me on my brithday, saying it was “a symbol of our friendship” because if that were the case then why would you sneak into my house and take it away from me?”

You slowly started inching forward to him.

Kuroo took a big breathe in.

“Oh FOR GOODNESS SAKE [Y/N] JUST LET ME BE HAPPY FOR ONCE!” He aggressively explained.

So.

I guess this is where it ends.

I mean somethings must come to an end right?

“I see how it is. Fine. Let it be that way.”

You started to take off the necklace Kuroo gave you. Tears nearing the time of their fall.

“How about you-“ You started off

You got close to him and pointed at his chest.

“Just go on your merry way and live a happy life!”

You handed him the necklace back, forcing it into his hand.

“Go and change the [N/N] to your nick name to Megumi on the necklace by the way,” you cheerfully said.

Waterfalls are now flowing down your cheeks.

You gazed towards a frightened Megumi.

“Oh and you can keep the sweater. Apparently its not mine anymore aha,” you painfully told her.

“Wait, [Y/N] you cant just ended our friendship like this! Think about it.” Kuroo exclaimed.

I chuckled, “Kuroo I didn’t end our friendship.”

He looked confused.

“You did.”

You walked off, tired of everything. Tired of life.

Kuroo ran up to you grabbing a hold of your shoulder,

“[Y/N] why are you doing this?” He asked

I kept my eyes on my shoes.

“Is it because of the sweater? I’ll buy you another one-“

“It’s for you,”

You turned around to meet his sorrowful eyes.

“What do you mean for me?” He asked confused.

“It’s for your happiness Kuroo. I see the way you look at her. You need someone like her in your life more than me. So you better get going now. She’s waiting,” you sadly explained.

“I don’t understand, what could I have done to prevent this from happening?” He desperately asked.

You thought for a moment.

“You could’ve been there for me.”

You gave him a broken smile. Face filled with tears and empty eyes.

“Goodbye Tetsu, be happy now,”

End.