#pls appreciate this healthy wonderful ship

[thanatosbananatos]

The Ultimate EruHan Meta

Oh boy.  

So, I feel that first, I must preface this long-ass meta:

First, bless your heart if you read this.

Second, this is just for funsies. Yeah, for some reason, I find this kind of shit enthralling!  I have no idea why.  Regardless, this is not meant to shit on EruRi shippers, LeviHan shippers, or anyone in-between.  This is simply something I've been wanting to do.  Erwin and Hanji have a very underrated relationship, and I've wanted to highlight it for a long time. Years.

I also use “she” pronouns in this meta, but I think Hanji can have whatever pronouns.  Isayama has said it doesn't matter to the story, so run wild.

This ship is incredibly important to me, and I hope to share my feelings with the fandom in a light besides incessant fangirling and stupid art.

OK.  Let's do it.

I have read through the series thus far (right now, it's late April of 2019) completely in Japanese, and I've done my best to read through English translations of each chapter as well.  Why Japanese?  Well, I'm an elitist.

Just kidding.

There's actually a very specific reason that I prefer the Japanese to the English, and it has to do with the linguistic structure of the languages.  In English, there are certain things that we cannot change in our writing to emphasize something--the word “I,” for instance, is always “I,” and “you” is always “you.”  Right now, as I type this, I realize how limited the written English language is.  I can only show you emphasis by bolding or italicizing the words, and even then, there are things left up to interpretation.  

Japanese is quite a bit different, and though there is plenty of ambiguity used in this language (trust me, I've done studies lol), there are also parts that are more specific than in English.  There are, for example, numerous ways to say “I,” “you,” and other pronouns depending on the speaker, the listener, and other circumstances.  

It's because of this that I prefer Japanese dubs and prints of anime and manga, respectively.

The last time I went to Japan, I came home with the first 14 volumes of Attack on Titan in Japanese, and this was the shit that dragged me into EruHan.

As is the case with most Americans, I assume, I saw the anime before I read the manga, but it was not until I read the manga that I started to ship Erwin and Hanji.  Why?

I'll explain the details later, but one of the biggest reasons is that the bulk of their interactions occur in what will be season two and beyond.

However, they do have really important interactions in season one, aka chapters 1 through 33 of the manga.  Those moments serve as a great base for what to eventually expect in the latter chapters, when all of the heartbreaking shit happens. c':

We never know for sure how Erwin and Hanji met, but we know that at some point, Erwin came to trust Hanji enough to consider her to be a competent Squad Leader, and eventually considered her as one of his right-hand men, along with Mike, and after a few years, Levi, too.  Hanji's squad has a specific focus:  to study Titans as closely as possible.  It seems like a pretty dangerous job, but Hanji is a dangerous person in general.  

Erwin is generally known as a strategist both in canon and in the fandom, but for a strategist to do their job, they have to have facts to base their plans on.  As we learn later, Hanji is the source of those facts.

One of the most glanced-over scenes in the entire first season is when Erwin and Hanji are leading the Corps back to the wall after failing to secure Annie in her Titan form.  Hanji questions Erwin's decision to send Levi off only after making him refill on gas and blades; Erwin reveals that his plan was based on Hanji's information in the first place.  

In other words, Hanji is someone that Erwin trusts implicitly.  

But, we see the same thing with Hanji toward Erwin when they corner Annie in Stohess.

If you recall, Erwin and Levi are with Nile and the other Police soldiers during the rampage--Erwin left Hanji to call the shots.  Again, proof of trust in her abilities as a leader.  

However, I find it hard to believe that Hanji would have followed Erwin's plan if it had been anyone else besides Erwin that proposed it.  Why?

Think of how much destruction the fight in Stohess caused.  It's almost inexcusable, considering that in the end, Annie seals herself up and is useless as a test subject to Hanji and her squad.  Hanji's first job is actually not a soldier, but a scientist; however, she trusted Erwin enough to not only agree to his plan to stop Annie at all costs, but also enough to be the one to carry out the dirty work.  

Additionally, Hanji questions EVERYTHING.  As a scientist, it's only second nature.  I've admittedly seen a lot of people shitting on Hanji for questioning Erwin from time to time, but NEVER should it be interpreted as insubordination or disrespect.  Rather, Hanji is trying to acquire more information from Erwin to gain knowledge of as many perspectives as possible.  And, by questioning Erwin, Hanji serves as a double-check system.  Levi tends to follow Erwin blindly, whereas Hanji will question him almost as a test--as if to ask, “You sure? You thought it through?  OK, then let's go.”

When thinking of all of this in anime context, there's one more thing I'd like to point out:

The first OVA, Ilse's Notebook.

In this particular OVA, most of the focus is on Hanji (thank god), and it expands upon what is briefly shown in the manga when Hanji, Levi, and his squad find the journal lying around.  The OVA starts with Hanji basically drooling over the idea of capturing a Titan--and no, it's not just because she's obsessed with the Titans themselves, but because she's obsessed with answering the many unanswered questions in their world, of which, the Titans are often the subject.  However, when she confronts Erwin with the idea of capturing one, he turns her down--according to the dialogue, this isn't the first time they have this discussion, either.

But, perhaps you noticed Hanji's argument to Erwin?  When he mentions the lives they've lost in the Corps?

“Without making any sacrifices, we can't gain anything!”

Doesn't that sound familiar?  

“Someone who can't throw something away can't change anything!”  

Armin said something similar--do you remember whose ideals he based his quote on?

Erwin's.

But, maybe, also Hanji's?

It is entirely possible that Hanji and Erwin have had the same thinking from the start, or that one of them influenced the other.  

We don't really know for sure, since we've yet to receive Hanji's backstory (Will it even happen?  Sigh), but regardless, they think similarly.  OK.  That's a thing.

As I mentioned previously, the bulk of their very important and often overlooked interactions are from season two (i.e. the Clash of the Titans arc) and onward in the manga/anime, up until...that thing called the serum bowl that none of us like to talk about.

If you recall, at the tail end of season one, Erwin was briefly arrested by the Military Police, then released.  Once again, you'll notice that Hanji is the one calling the shots, along with Mike.  Erwin has effectively split them up (presumably Erwin, I'm actually not sure if it's confirmed that he was the one to send Mike's squad to watch the 104th?), with Mike doing the physical work, and Hanji being left to the strategic end of things--to a point.  I mean, it's not as if Erwin is completely out of commission at that point (unlike Levi lmao). Instead, he's working on his “big” project--to overthrow the government and get those traitors out of here--from more of a behind-the-scenes perspective.  So he surely knew that things would get crazy on Hanji and co.'s end, yet he trusted her to follow through and lead the Corps while he worked separately for a while.  

He doesn't think to check in on her, either, until the report about Wall Rose and the traitors finds him.  I'm sure he didn't quite predict all that, especially because Reiner himself was flying by the seat of his pants lmao.  He hears that Hanji and company suffered injuries, and that Eren has been taken away, along with Ymir, so obviously, being the Commander and all that jazz, he goes to check in on the Corps soldiers atop the wall.  Until he arrives, Hanji does not move--it's only when she hears Erwin's arrival that she moves, and it's to talk strategy.  

This admittedly brings up something else I want to talk about with them: both Erwin and Hanji are so goddamn willing to put everything and everyone else first besides their own well being.  

I know a lot of EruHan writers play with this trope, but we didn't even have to add it in.  It's there.  All the time.  

I think Erwin is especially obvious, considering how far he was willing to go to reach his goals, and his dream.  However, Hanji is the same way when it comes to obtaining knowledge.  And, both of them want to win.  They are fighting to win.  In season three, Erwin refers to himself as a gambler--the same is definitely true for Hanji, if not even more so.

So, Hanji gets her ass in gear long enough to tell Erwin what she can, and once again, using the information Hanji gave him, and not straying from it once, Erwin formulates a plan, and the Corps sets off.

Erwin did not stray from her information, used it to fuel the plan, and lost his arm in the process.

Flash-forward to Erwin in the hospital.  Beardwin.  

Wait, no omg.

Go back to when they brought him back to the hospital.

We don't see that, right?  No, we don't.

But you know who else would've been in the hospital receiving treatment for burns and possible concussion, etc.?

Hanji.

Hanji probably saw the direct results of her instructions to Erwin.

Now flash-forward to Beardwin.

Remember, back about forty years ago when you first started reading this meta? Remember what I mentioned how the Japanese language has different types of pronouns?  It also has different kinds of politeness.    

In the Japanese version of the scene where Beardwin does the creepy-ass smile, Hanji enters the room speaking pretty casually, like “hey what's up Erwin--oh shit Pyxis is here too” might as well have been the actual translation.  Her speech goes from casual to formal the second she sees Pyxis. Of course, up to this point, Hanji had always used casual speech with Erwin, but the stark contrast to how she speaks to Pyxis, who is a pretty easy-going guy around the Corps veterans, just drives home the fact that they are familiar with one another. 

In addition, we once again see Hanji give Erwin information, and boy howdy.  Does he take it and run with it.

So begins the Uprising arc.

This is the arc that just pushed me face-first into EruHan, to be perfectly honest.

This is also the arc where the language usage is the most important.

At this point, the three veterans (Erwin, Levi, and Hanji) are split up for a little while.  Levi and Hanji are sent to watch over the 104th while Erwin does his thing (again).  However, Hanji has a little “side project”--she is still keeping watch over Pastor Nick, until the Central Police murder him.  She and Levi torture them, and that's a thing.

Due to the heavy focus on Historia and Eren, things are kind of quiet for the vets for a while, until Eren remembers some information from a dream, and yet again, Hanji brings that information to Erwin for him to put to good use.

This is one of the most important scenes in the arc, and for this ship.

First, note how calmly Erwin receives the flustered Hanji.  He offers her food and water without question and immediately listens. (An aside:  Erwin is probably one of the most patient characters in the series.)  After explaining everything, Hanji then asks Erwin, “What should we do?” (Another aside:  Don't forget how much these vets trust Erwin.  Ever.)

Erwin's at least one step ahead of everyone at all times, of course, so he has an answer, but part of that answer is pretty startling: Erwin names Hanji as the next Commander of the Survey Corps.  He then promptly leaves, with Hanji staring after him (be still my heart) and is soon arrested once again.

This is a scene that I can't help but dissect, simply because there's just so much there.

I'm also going to be bitter for the rest of my life that the anime strayed so much from the manga in this arc generally, but that's not the focus right now.

So, okay, remember the pronouns example I gave earlier?

Hanji uses “watashi,” Levi uses “ore,” Armin uses “boku,” etc.  Most of the characters are very consistent with pronoun usage, and most of them default to either “watashi,” simply because they are in the military, methinks.  

Erwin, however (and unsurprisingly), is one of the characters who changes his pronoun usage.  In fact, he is the one who changes it the most that I've seen so far in the series.  He switches frequently between just two, “ore” and “watashi,” but what does this mean, exactly?  What is there to gain from knowing the details behind his pronoun usage?

We see Erwin using “watashi” most frequently in two situations: he uses it in formal situations as the “Commander” towards people like Zackley, Pyxis, etc., and he uses it when speaking with a “softer” demeanor, such as early interactions with Eren.  

Erwin uses “ore” as a Commander might--with authority.  It also seems to be his go-to generally--in other words, if he did not have any social obligations to worry about, no public faces to protect, he would use “ore.”

So, toward Levi, Erwin uses “ore” pretty much exclusively.  After all, though he respects Levi, he has no reason to be gentle or keep face--in other words, no reason to use “watashi.”

However, toward Hanji, Erwin almost always uses “watashi.” (I should also note, he uses “omae” with “ore” and “kimi” with “watashi” accordingly.)  The speech is more familiar, gentler almost.  I wouldn't have given it much thought if it weren't for the one time he does use “ore” toward Hanji.

That time happens to be when he names her the next Commander of the Survey Corps.

So, why the change?

If you recall, that scene takes place with them talking one on one about the note that Eren has left for Hanji to read regarding his memories of a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt.  Erwin eventually has summons--ones that he is sure will lead to his arrest, and he then names Hanji his successor.  

To me, after seeing all of their interactions, I think that Erwin definitely shows some favoritism toward Hanji and holds a soft spot for her.  After all, if you think back to the OVA, Hanji was the one to really prove herself and stand toe to toe with him.  I think he admires such stubbornness, for reasons we can only speculate now.  

When I think about how he previously had spoken to Hanji, it was always so...intimate?  Like, “I value this person and their opinions.  We are close.”  Using “ore” breaks that down and instead builds a wall between them.  It's like he was saying, “I'm serious.  This isn't a joke.  You have to listen to me this time.”

It's worth noting that I've spoken to a few other Japanese fans about this part, both EruHan shippers and not, and everyone seems to agree that it seems like he did it for the sake of seeming authoritative, to make sure that this time, Hanji would listen without questioning him.

Of course, after the fact, Hanji questions it.

And I think that just drives my point home.

If you think back, or rather, forward in the manga, we see Hanji get handed a lot of shit--from Eren, the general populace, supposed allies.  After one particular event, where Eren grabs Hanji and treats her like a piece of trash rather than his own Commander, Hanji escapes with humor, but behind closed doors, she feels frustrated and lost.  

“Erwin, this was your one mistake...  Why did you make me the Commander...?”

Erwin did not want Hanji to double-check him.  He did not want her to question him like she normally did.  He just wanted her to listen to him and take the order, so she did.  So it's even more natural for her to doubt it now.  She didn't get that chance in the first place--Erwin took it away from her, and she let him, because she trusted him explicitly.  

We hear about it constantly with Erwin and Levi, but don't forget:

Erwin and Hanji's relationship is also built on trust.

So, let's go back to after the political arc--they decide to go back to Shiganshina, and we have what has come to be known as the serum bowl.  Yay!  Sounds fun, right?

NO.  FUCK THE SERUM BOWL.

But it's important to dissect for the sake of this fucking essay.  

I'm gonna skip straight to the good stuff--it comes down to a choice between saving Armin or Erwin.  Levi is pretty much set on giving it to Armin--until a soldier brings Erwin's body back, and he's clinging to life.  Eren and Mikasa get hysterical, they fight, and it looks like Mikasa is gonna straight up become THE Ackermann, until someone interrupts them.  

It's Hanji, and she's injured and all alone.  At this point, she's lost Moblit and part of her vision, and now she could lose Erwin, too.  This person she trusts and respects probably more than anyone in the world might die.  I think it affected her on more than just a personal level too, obviously--the Commander she entrusted her life and well-being to is on the brink of death, and she is supposed to somehow take his place.  

Hanji obviously takes Levi's side, insisting that Erwin should  be the one who gets the serum and a second lease on life.  She pulls Mikasa away, holding her closely, and tells her that she understands what she's feeling, what it's like to lose someone you care about.  

But, “Erwin is the hope of humanity.”

Those are Hanji's words.  They're heavy.  So fucking heavy.  

If you questioned the respect and trust and love in their relationship (even just platonically) before, at that point, you really can't anymore, unless you decide to be in complete denial.

However, if you're caught up with the manga, you know how it goes--Erwin pulls a last minute “stunt,” then retires (cough) as Armin is given the serum and transforms into a Titan.  Levi chooses Armin in order to let Erwin die as a human and not as a monster, and tries to talk himself through the choice out loud.  

Hanji, however, has her eyes only on Erwin, and she is with him until his last moments of...pre-retirement...

Okay, but here's a thing I really want to point out.

Flocke, the dumb bastard who brought Erwin's life back (he's not dumb for doing that, btw), is the one who brings up the notion that it should be Erwin who receives the serum, because only Erwin had the capability of becoming a monster who could save them.  That thought scared Levi, who held and continues to hold Erwin in very high esteem, and is what essentially pressed him into giving Armin the serum instead.  

Do you think that thought scared Hanji?

Though we never hear one way or the other, I really don't think so.

When has Hanji ever feared the Titans?  

No, it's not even just that--Hanji saw the Titans as equals.  She saw them as just a different kind of human, really.  

Think back to Sawney and Bean, wayyyyy way back.  Think about how she recognized their personalities, respected them, and loved them as the way that they were.  And she had no idea what the truth behind them was.  She had no idea at that time that they were humans.  

Think about how she treated Eren as a Titan shifter (before he started being ...whatever he is now).  She respected him, was kind to him, and she didn't even know him.

I think it's safe to say that  her relationship with Erwin would not have really changed.  She would have probably respected him even more than before.

...There's honestly so much more I could say about the ship on micro-levels, but I wanted to hit these big points because not only are many of them lost in translation, but they are highly underappreciated.  I get tired of seeing them left out of the main fandom, when it's such a delightful, wholesome ship that has plenty to work with in both canon and AUs.

But, if you're interested in hearing the smaller things, hmu.  I think about this ship all the damn time.  Everyone should have some level of appreciation for it.  

--Cat

[elitparadox]

ship your moots with haikyuu characters?

FINALLY I was waiting for this ask for so long it’s ridiculous you're the loml now anyway here you go, they're under the cut :)

@srkuv & osamu; mhm ik you didn’t expect this one mae but you’re so sweet, uplifting, kind, and smart and chaotic that the only person who deserves your love is osamu (and me hshshs but let's ignore that) he would make you all kinds of food and watch you eat with the most adoring look in his grey eyes I’m screaming just thinking about this I would ship the both of you so hard

@ioveangel & oikawa; when i tell you you're an angel sent from God i'm serious; you are literally the sweetest, most caring, enthusiastic, and creative person i've ever met and I'm so glad I did. have i told you you're beautiful too?? you're one in a million, you will definitely make oikawa feel like he's on top of the world (but you'd have to make sure not to boost his ego 🙄). no doubt he'll cherish you, just like i do.

@vs-redemption & daichi; I CAN LITERALLY PICTURE YOU WITH HIM aside from that though, you're just the kindest most thorough person ever, we haven't really talked much but everything from your simple yet organized blog to your beautiful writing... daichi would love you uwu cuddling sessions with him, you, and your cat are inevitable <3333

@kitacharm & kita; look i'm not just saying this because he's your fav but you're genuinely super cute, kind, and supporting!! kita would take you to picnics, send baskets full of homemade cookies and healthy snacks and gilded letters to your doorstep to remind you of how much he loves you :)

@keijee & sakusa; there is zero reason to explain. sakusa would absolutely adore you. you would give him such thoughtful compliments at the best times possible, and he'd tell himself (but would never admit to you), "what did i do to deserve someone like chelsea?" it's a perfect match, fight me.

@emergencyfoodpaimon & kunimi; okay this is platonic because i know you're more of a kin than lover, which i'd fully support !!! bromance 4 life, u know? you two would go along so well but i don't think there'd be much pep talk; you'd just get straight to the point LOL you're as reserved, consistent, and lovable as kunimi and that's why i love you both </33

@softetsurou & kuroo; MARI don't ever put yourself down, your writing is amazing and you're so humble and sweet. you also have a good sense of humour and kuroo would love that. he'd say sweet words in your ear, reminding you that you're treasured but he'd also tease you a lot, so you have to crank up your patience lol

@kodzukoi & kenma; koi you're so kind, relatable, caring, talented, and funny!! kenma would think about this all the time and although he's v quiet and not good with words, he'll hug you or ask you to come kiss him at random times. he's constantly reminding himself to be good to you because he loves u to the moon and back

@perqabeth & suna; don't get me wrong but i feel like your relationship would be a love-and-hate one. teasing and bantering are present every week. but when you're feeling down, suna would embrace you with his slender yet strong arms :') also you're super sweet and funny, suna loves that about u

@maipxilia & iwaizumi; UR SO BENIGN AND TALENTED YOU ARE PERFECT FOR IWAIZUMI!!! like how dignified u are, iwaizumi is as august and i'm willing to bet he'd take care of you no matter what. he's one of those people in your life who would literally die in your place, he'd also be so defensive if someone were to eye u or flirt with u and stuff lol.

@koushisbutterfly & sugawara; PLS YOUR PIANO PLAYING??? suga would beg u to play almost every second of the day because that's how good you are. he'd also kiss u on the forehead in the morning and just be the sweetest ever to u, his heart melts from the way you take care of him :')) you're also so kind you and suga would be that couple who punches pats everyone on the back for good luck

@mysterystarz & akaashi; yet another ship that sails freely across the ocean, uninterrupted and peaceful. akaashi would take you to watch the stars at night, give you cute notes, let you borrow his jacket, etc. wow, wonder how jealous your classmates would be when they hear (and see) that 😏

@strawbearisamu & tendou; first off, you and tendou are chaotic as hell lmaoo you'd vibe so well together- i literally know tendou would send you memes from the dozens saved in his camera roll but don't get me wrong, your relationship is also so sweet bc you give him a sense of home. you make him understand he's good enough, for once.

@mimi-cee-hq & tsukishima; MIMI YOU'RE SO TALENTED, KIND, AND SUPPORTIVE jsjsjs we all know tsukki isn't exactly the sweetest person and he wears a blasé mien most of the time, but around you, he softens a LOT and will be less mean to u i'm sobbing oh also i would ship you with kunimi but u guys are too similar i just wanted to switch things up ;)

@shirari & shirabu; i know we didn't interact much but you seem like a funny, kind person!! and don't imply that you aren't lovable or anything because you're passionate about the things you love and shirabu would highly admire that. you'd make him feel so warm and appreciated.

@itsmiyamore & kita; kita would love u bb, i'm spitting facts here. when you're stressed from homework/work, he'd endow upon you as many hugs as you want and comfort you by whispering "everything is going to be okay" i tell you, he's insuperable when it comes to best bf ever <3 (and u would be the best gf too)

@tetsusbbygrl & kageyama; wait abbs i swear you're so adorable and funny kageyama would be rlly shy around you, just like u are with him :)) he'd hold your hand at the most random times, he'd ask his upperclassmen for advice on where to take you out, etc. he tries so hard to make u feel the way u make him feel <33 you'd be that cute oblivious couple, u know the one

@sunkeiji & atsumu; okay we've been mutuals for only a day but you're already so welcoming and sweet to me, atsumu would be so grateful to have met you like i do!! you're collected and friendly while atsumu is energetic and a bit bothersome (but caring as well) which means you'd be great together <33 how cute

[lady-tortilla-chip]

For the ship meme: zukaang

Oooooh my gosh this is a LOT and I have to thank you very much for giving me the excuse to write all this. Lol.

General

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

—Tbh none of these fully encapsulate how I feel for this ship but I do wonder constantly why the hell few others actually appreciate it.

How long will they last? - Life.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Alright I spent too long thinking about this because I have several headcanons for how/when they fall in love but eventually landed on my somewhat canon compliant one — Zuko falls for Aang first. Though he only realizes his feelings towards Aang after he and Mai break off their relationship for a final time. Aang falls for Zuko later, after he and Katara mutually break away from each other when they realize they’ve grown to love each other purely as friends.

How was their first kiss? - Initiated by Zuko their first kiss is sweet but charged full of all the things he didn’t know how to say but desperately wanted to convey. Aang laughs softly when they pull apart and says, “I wondered when you’d finally do it.”

Wedding

Who proposed? - Aang proposed marriage between them but Zuko had been thinking about it. However he had been hesitant to bring it up because of the potential political issues that might arise when the Avatar officially bound himself to the FireLord. This is an issue that the two ultimately decide is worth dealing with together.

Who stressed the most? - Zuko

How fancy was the ceremony? - I imagine their union happening one of two ways. One, they have two separate ceremonies. One for the Fire Nation following all their customs and one for themselves following all the Air Nomad customs (tho I do wonder how likely it was that the Air Nomads had formal weddings of any kind considering they were so huge on freedom). Anyway, the second version is that they have a ceremony which merges the two cultural traditions.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Idk Ozai probably.

Sex

Who is on top? - Ima just open these questions with it DEPENDS. So like if you wanna skip all the answers here go ahead because ultimately in my mind, it really just depends upon what’s happening between them in the given moment for like, every single one of these questions.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Depends. Both are likely to instigate. Zuko usually when they firebend together and Aang when Zuko lets go of his dignified FireLord image and is just himself.

How healthy is their sex life? - Very.

How kinky are they? - they’d probs be like at a 7?? Idk honestly this isn’t something I’ve thought about much. Lol

How long do they normally last? - suppose it depends on when and where they got busy.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - probably not, but this seems like something that’s dependent upon who initiated it.

How rough are they in bed? - I think how “rough” they get is purely dependent on the moment.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - They are definitely the types to hold each other close after.

Children

How many children will they have naturally? - Nada.

How many children will they adopt? - Four. For each nation! But like, by complete accident and Toph or Sokka are the ones to point this out. I like to imagine the first kid they adopt into their lives would maybe be an orphaned child from the people at the Northern Air Temple. (Who I think have potential to learn not only learn the Air Nomad culture but also Airbending!)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Would depend mostly on who’s available. I like to imagine Aang wouldn’t like the idea of using servants to help care for their kids so probably him when he’s around.

Who is the stricter parent? - Zuko, he’d have had a much more structured upbringing so he’d definitely be the more serious/strict parent between them.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ok I don’t think any of the kids would go to a formal school because they are royalty by virtue of being adopted by the FireLord. So they’d have many tutors. But like, in regards to dangerous stunts period? Zuko. Because Aang would absolutely join them (for fun and to keep them safe).

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Who is the more loved parent? - Aang often has to force veggies on his children thus losing out half the time on the “favorite parent” vote. However Zuko suffers the same when he refuses to allow them to do something dangerous.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - They were raised by two people who know very well how to avoid getting caught, so the real question is, how often do either of them even need to?

Cooking

Who does the most cooking? - Ok so I like to think they’d have places to run away to all over the world and in those places they’d handle their own cooking. Zuko is pathetically bad at it so Aang does all the cooking which also means the whole family collectively eats vegetarian when they go off on breaks. This is because while Aang is fine with meat being cooked around him he really doesn’t care to cook it himself.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Aang, but eventually Zuko (once he learns that people eat Turtleducks) when he turns towards being vegetarian too. Sokka and all but one of their kids hate it. 😂

Who does the grocery shopping? - When they go off to one of their get away places Aang does the shopping but Zuko goes with him everytime.

How often do they bake desserts? - Aang does as often as possible but Zuko likes trying to bake Air Nomad desserts for Aang.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Zuko goes through a change from being a meat guy to a veggie guy (tho he still does eat meat occasionally). So they become a couple of salad eaters.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Both. Aang because he likes trying new things. Zuko because every now and again he’d really like to have some meat.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Zuko.

Chores

Who cleans the room? - Aang.

Who is really against chores? - Their children.

Who cleans up after the pets? - depends, Zuko likes having the kids do it but Aang will if they don’t.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Zuko is most likely to want to, but ultimately he wouldn’t do it because Aang absolutely would find it.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Zuko

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - did they have dollars?

Misc

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Zuko, but they definitely take the longest baths together and shorter baths apart.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - were dogs a thing in ATLA?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - 😬 idk what holidays do they have that would involve decorating for?

What are their goals for the relationship? - maintaining a healthy balance between them in all ways. In how they distance their personal relationship from the formal one. In how they parent (which is hugely different because of their very very different upbringings). And in how they treat each other.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Aang? Tbh I think they’d both be early risers.

Who plays the most pranks? - Aang. For sure.

[kyutown]

hii :)) i was wondering if i could request a ship for enhypen, treasure, p1harmony and cravity. i hope that’s okay <3

i’m 16 (05liner) my MBTI is ISTJ and i’m a january capricorn. i’m around 5’0 and i have long dark brown hair and i have brown eyes as well. im pretty awkward around new people and i’m pretty shy as well. many people tend to tell me i’m very intimidating, and very hard to approach until they get to know me. im not the type to approach someone to be friends. i’m outgoing when i feel comfortable or when i’m with my close friends, and i’ve been told my laugh is contagious. i’m not really open about my emotions and how i feel and i tend to keep it to myself, and when things just aren’t going well, i turn into the biggest crybaby and let everything out. but my biggest pet peeve is letting people see me with my guard down. i’m a nice person overall but i’m also not afraid to tell people off if they piss me off. i have a little anger issues and i’m petty too.,, im usually the one giving out advice though and listening to people but i can’t comfort people. i’m sensitive but i try not to show it, and i need reassurance sometimes. i’m the youngest out of my siblings so i constantly feel the need to overachieve and to try to the point where i stress out over everything and anything i do i feel like i’m not good enough. i have some trust issues and it gets to the point where i’ll push people away ,, i write, sing and sleep in my free time. im in band and i used to dance but i quit. im more of a homebody and prefer my home, but i’ll go out sometimes. i tend to buy an unnecessary amount of clothes. jewelry like rings or just simple necklaces are my favorite things to wear. my aesthetic is very hard to say because it’s like undecided, i’ll dress very simple with like a sweater and baggy jeans and then sometimes i’ll wear crop tops and skinny jeans,, i’m very indecisive, and i’m not sure what i wanna do when i graduate. my favorite colors are brown and green hehe,, n e ways for skinship i love hugs, especially when a person is taller. or when they put their face in your neck like yes pls-,, i also like holding hands especially when i need comforting. im not a jealous person but i have my moments and in like relationships i like light teasing and i like people who understand my sarcasm, my jokes or my moods. i’m not into trying new things but if it’s something they really wanna do, i’ll do it. i want someone who will keep me on my toes and humble me so i can never lose myself. i want to grow with them as well. i want someone who understands that i need space, and that it doesn’t mean i don’t love them, i just need some time to think for a bit,, i’m pretty loud when i’m with the right people but most of the time i don’t mind being by myself. most of the time at school i have my headphones in. i appreciate the little things someone does for me and i try to do my best to show my affection towards them as well,, thank you so much!! stay healthy, and stay safe during this time!! <3 p.s i hope it wasn’t too much!! (she/her)

hi! thank you for responding!

for enhypen, i think jake would be a nice match! jake would be the type to always comfort you and make you happy. he would want you to smile and when you feel pressured and work too hard to do something, he would pat your back and would listen to you and your worries. he would give you advice and would listen to your advice. he would always give you cuddles and hugs to make you feel better!

for treasure, i think junkyu would be a good fit! junkyu's style is very similar to yours. mostly he wears his iconic pink hoodie but when he dresses up, he wears skinny jeans and would be like your style! but he likes to stay indoors more than going out and being active. so staying inside would be a often thing for you guys and he would always understand your preferences.

for p1harmony, i think you would nice with theo! theo would be the type who would understand your humor and sarcasm. he would be the type to laugh at your humor and would never judge you for your sense of humor and sarcasm. when you feel annoyed or feel emotional, he would understand and leave you so that you have your personal space but once you're ready, he would make you feel happy with jokes and smiles!

for cravity, i think jungmo would pair nicely with you! jungmo is very affectionate and would definitely be the type who would give you lots of hugs! he is tall and i think he would love to give you back hugs and all types of hugs to make you feel loved! he would definitely hold your hand when you guys are in public as a sign of protecting you and would love to hold your hand in general.

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E05 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

the reaction video: Google Drive

.

. Blue friend!

That i didn’t immediately catch that they were two different groups was kind of embarrassing asuhjd- they do be surveilling. They clearly already tailed them, but idk why they didn't just show up at their hideout --- I guess that would have been too undramatic.

It was kind of obvious towards the end and I felt like they could have made it a little more dynamic. I don’t need still shots. Make them attack and the mask comes off after he also speaks or... idk, so many still frames; masks hiding any emotional reaction (though I do like the whole taking off mask reveal in theory); and then also the kind of.... EH reaction I’m just... idk, I expected more somehow but I can’t exactly pinpoint what I wanted differently.

(This whole thing kind of goes back to my initial theory way back after s1 how Norman might try to infiltrate the system as a demon and then have to pretend to not be their ally in front of them and have to pull through with something, or some tragic shit like that. Or one of them trying to kill him, but he can’t say anything and then they realize when the cover comes off --- yeah VERY BAD, I’m glad that’s not what’s happening.)

I’m assuming the tidbit about farms being raided “recently” means he’s not been out for that long (at least not longer than a few months) so that’d explain why it wasn’t brought up with Isabella.

I also don’t think anything happened when he was removed from GF - but between Norman’s surprised expression when entering the gate room and him being here now, I don’t think he was shipped out for food (unless the high quality ones don’t get flower’ed right away and instead only at their “eater” --- since that’d at least give the support duration for someone to rescue him or him to do something about his situation).

So I’m very curious to hear about that whole story and I have a small bit of hope that the recap episode will be framed as Norman talking about s1 from his perspective and then also transitioning over into what happened while they were apart either in next episode or the episode after that. Don’t think we need a recap either way, but OH WELL, I hope there’ll be SOME framing to it at least.

edit: I thought episode 6 would be a recap, but it’s 5.5 and likely due to production issues so forget my rant here, I’m fine with the recap. I’m not fine with staff being overworked but oh well that’s a whole different dilemma.

They got so much to do and so few episodes AHHH

I wonder if there’s any meaning-parallel to be drawn between the old demon having a walking stick and Norman also having a walking stick??? idk it just felt odd to me-- Norman why are you old.

Though gotta also appreciate that anime really went opposite manga approach here, he didn't age AT ALL duisjsd. still babey. (edit: I didn’t know about his “inbetween” design as much and seeing them side by side it’s actually pretty accurate so yayyy. he babey anyway though)

what did that one guy out of Norman's group do when he leaned down to presumably Don I'm confusion

Norman, surrounding his friends: "lets ominously walk up to them"

.

. The demons' form

I didn’t post it I think but I actually made a “you are what you eat” joke in my ep3 post but discarded it because Sonju and Mujika look completely fine despite never having had any humans and I thought that’d throw a wrench in my thought.... and it still does so... that’s really interesting.

It also seems as if him saying “The world won’t change” is kind of..... like a prophecy sort of thing? It could just mean the massive class divide of course, but maybe if all the demons were well fed with humans, they’d achieve greater things? Since when you’re dying you’re kind of not in the condition to do anything, and if eating their body parts makes the demons adapt; is the implication that eating their brains makes demons smarter? if so that's a pretty literal parallel to the lower classes of society being robbed the chance to do something great by sheer circumstance. they're just actually dumber bc they don't get provided the materials to be smart

Honestly I’m a bit confused and not sure what it means, i can think of:

once a demon has ever eaten a human, they have to continue doing so

eating singular body parts makes them generate on you and you need “higher quality” humans to counter-act it. Would explain why Mujika and Sonju aren’t affected, since they don’t eat humans at all. Would also be an allegory for a healthy/balanced diet I GUESS but I don’t think it seems very plausible? it just seems kind of random.

They’re descendants from different demons and Sonju&Mujika simply don’t need to eat humans to maintain their form.

I also brought up that maybe it’s faith related / a placebo? But that seems even more forced.

I also don’t know if the implication is that they need ANY food, but then why are there hands on them?? So I do think it’s that it’s humans specifically that are either the problem or the solution. But since the bigger demons don’t seem to be affected AND the higher ups also not, I doubt it’s what causes the problems, unless it somehow is the whole balanced / “have to KEEP doing it” angle.

Also the demon scene in the ruins was so interesting, I really liked how it was so somber and kind of just... quiet. Emma, our queen, emphasizing once again.

I wonder if the demon realized it secretly or not... he seemed kinda overall nice and reasonable so I wouldn’t be super surprised if he noticed and just didn’t really care...

.

. The timeline

GF kids have been escaped for 1 year, they were a month at the bunker, so they’ve been out and about for another ~11 months.

Anna says nothing happened in the past 6 months; what else happened to them? just that they hid somewhere and had to flee again?

Is that also where they got their new clothes? i fail to see why they couldn’t just get them at the bunker, would make a bit more sense imo- but oh well.

farms keep being attacked recently and stealing children. it was def not our group, Norman's group potentially? They seem to be pretty badass, so that’s probably not unlikely.

Alternatively, it could be an overarching even bigger group that also rescued Norman, I think.

.

. Other things I liked

the scene of Emma being kind of lost was... pretty good, seeing our sunshine kind of doubt herself (understandably so after not making progress for an entire year) is pretty impactful. But i also feel like she’d try even harder to hide it in front of the others. but also why are you talking to a wall, are you mentally okay, probably not--- 

LOVED the nice subtle reveal to show how they mask their scent in the Lani and Thoma scene when they wanted to go with them

shot of the apple rolling and the screen turning over but head-down was cool!!

Emma and ray flinching when the demon's hand reaches out to Lani and Thoma

That convo between Lani and Thoma and how the older ones always give them the food and pretend to eat I'M EMOTIONAL

also their costumes are so colorful :sparkles: it’s such a big switch from their usual outfits-

.

. Other things I didn’t like

i'm not even a rayemma shipper and I still wanted Ray to do more than say a few lines and WALK AWAY?? ray what ya doin-

[Lani and Thoma] also literally why did you let them come. This season does really depend on someone fucking up and it’s kind of annoyingggggg :) Though in this case it isn’t that much their fault, they just stood around.

also why Norman only say “Emma” pls kill me. I was so happy that (very light manga spoiler) ...... Ray and Emma were both there for the reveal but fuck, the anime just straight up didn't care about Ray being there anyway :V

they better gife me a good trio hug to make up for this next (... uh... next-next TvT) episode

I do agree he’s back too soon but..... I kind of can’t hate them, with the whole 1 season to wrap it up chaos. Anime industry bad.

Well at least I’m excited and didn’t hate it. I’m somehow a little empty-headed but it was a good episode, and the surrounding anxiety probably just makes me a little iffy.... Hope the recap episode next week will have some merit and otherwise, see ya in two weeks.

[sweet-shipper-dreams]

I know this is a stupid question because it is fantasy but: 1.) I have a hard time believing that my F\O loves me because why he should? It is like I cannot even allow myself these fantasies. 2.) I do not like Sharing my f/o with somebody else. I know that there is the idea of multiple universes but I am to stubborn or something. I know I should just accept. Do you have any idea what to do? Pls help. ❤️

Your question isn't stupid, anon. I know it feels that way, but we homo sapiens just love being hard on ourselves, don't we? We won't even allow ourselves a fantasy, or if we think we aren't fantasizing "right", then it's stupid. As if there's a right way to imagine what makes you happy.

A lot of what you said applies to many others, including myself. You're not alone here!

1.) Feeling like there's so reason your f/o would love you, it absolutely sucks, and I've gone through it a lot. There's multiple reasons one could feel that way. A) Your f/o's personality doesn't match yours, or their personality is such that you cannot imagine them loving at all. B) Your f/o has a particular type, and you feel you do not match it. C) You struggle to find good qualities about yourself, and think your f/o deserves better (hard relate). Those are just three, there could be plenty other reasons.

To this I would say: Don't underestimate how much power you have over your own fantasy, and don't be afraid to mould it exactly how you want.

If you cannot allow yourself a fantasy, twist it, bend it, shape it to be the perfect world where everything makes sense and you never have to question why things are happening the way they are. Personality differences? Your f/o is your f/o for a reason. If it's something you have in common, build on that! Cherish it, appreciate it. If it's the polar opposite of you, well, you still love them for being so wildly different, is it so hard to believe they do the same? Their world would be so monotonous if they never found someone who's different, who challenges them, who offers a new perspective. Make it a part of the fantasy that they adore the one thing that brought you together.

Are they the type of person to not fall in love? They might be lonely, they might be waiting for the perfect person, and that person is you! Don't underestimate destiny, the red string of fate, it's a perfectly valid reason for your fantasy to be reasonable, no questions asked. Pick your poison, suit your needs.

If the problem is insecurity, a self esteem issue, then of course, it's trickier. I understand how hard it can be to believe you deserve your f/os, especially if you think they could do better, or what would draw them to me?

The first step in this case would be to identify when these thoughts appear, and then shut them down. I won't ask you to eliminate them completely, or start thinking positively in the blink of an eye. These things take time. But someone said "if you don't have anything good to say, say nothing at all." Don't entertain these thoughts. Recognize them as self sabotage, and distract yourself if you cannot eliminate them.

In my case, said distraction is my fantasy.

Again, you have so much control over your fantasy. Bend it to suit your needs, it doesn't have to be pure, or artistically perfect, or even make sense. It's for you, and it should bring you joy.

You are an iconic hero! You conquered your own self doubt and decided to engage in what you like! Your f/o admires that - how amazing that you can engage in this act of self care and beat back those negative thoughts! It motivates them to not give in to their own self doubt.

Something big happened in the fantasy! You saved their life, or you helped them through a tough time, or you talked to them when they were feeling lonely. You did something, and your f/o never forgot how much they appreciated it.

Those reasons I gave up there are entirely self-indulgent (exposing myself out here), but that's the point. It's your story. Make up a reason, any reason, to allow yourself it.

2.) Not being comfortable sharing f/os is, again, completely valid! I know many people who feel the same, and it's not something to be ashamed about. People self ship for various reasons, be those comfort or romantic feelings for your f/o, and they are all reasonable. And some of these reasons make it so you feel possessive of your character. Some of us (me) introspect away trying to figure ourselves out (what I've landed on is that my f/o is a source of comfort, which I would like to be my own, and it feels weird that other people are using the concept that I've adopted as my comfort blanket. Your reasons could be different.)

The point is that if you're not comfortable sharing f/os, you can always mention this explicitly, ask people not to interact if they ship with the person you do, and just generally avoid bumping into self shippers who share your f/o. There's nothing wrong about that, it's a way to make sure both you and the other person involved are comfortable, you're not hurting anybody, you're just laying down your boundaries and leaving others to lay down theirs. In my mind, that's a very healthy way to self ship.

If multiple universes is not an acceptable solution to you, then it helps to think that no one knows your f/o, or has the same relationship with them, as you do. There's a unique, personal element to your self ship, as there is to every self ship, so cherish that instead of wondering if others are doing it better. Your f/o loves that uniqueness about you two, too.

I really hope I could help you, anon. I'm no expert on any of these matters, personally, and am speaking from personal experience and a very, very basic knowledge of psychology and coping mechanisms. I wish you the best, though, and if you're struggling with self esteem issues, then, know that there is someone out there who is proud of the simple fact that you're making a move to overcome them. Me! And if anyone reads this (wow, thank you) and has something helpful or some information to give to anon, feel free to reblog. I would love to see it, too.

[sunflower-riki]

hii :)) i was wondering if i could have an enhypen ship?

i’m 5’2, my personality type is INFJ-T and i’m a May taurus. my hairs dark brown i think, and it’s reaches just under my ears. the back of my hair is also dyed silver. i have dark brown eyes and i wear glasses.

i tend to be awkward, especially around people who i don’t know. i’m pretty shy, just depends who i’m with. my parents also say that i’m overly polite and so it comes off as flirting when i’m just trying to be nice. i’m quite naïve and gullible sometimes. i’m not very emotional so my emotions usually build up, and when i have a really bad day, i tend to let everything out. i don’t like showing my emotional side though.

i’m quite an anxious person when it comes to making friends so i don’t usually put myself out there. i’ve had the same group of friends since i was 5.

i love to dance (not the cool kind, the embarrassing kind)

my ideal date would be a super aesthetic picnic with lots of yummy food and laughs

overall i’m a quiet person, and i don’t mind being by myself. most of the time at i have my headphones in. i appreciate the little things someone does for me and i try to do my best to show my affection towards them as well. thank you so much! i hope you are well and healthy!! <3

Thanks for requesting 🥺!

I ship you with Jake!

Oml sweet couple!

Being an introvert himself he relates to you so darn much

Like he is an introvert(ish) extrovert

He is a bit extroverted

So when you feel anxious he always holds your hand

He does all those small intimate things!!

Buys you small things like a keychain!

And random plushies cus it reminds him of you!

Pls both of you are darn flirty and what's funny is it is unintentionally

When you have a bad day he is just always ready to provide you warmth and support

Holds you close and whispers comforting words 🥺🥺!!

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

[deansmultitudes]

Hey! :) Love your blog! :) Saw your reblog of 'Give Me a Character'. Would you care to talk about Dean? Yeah, I know, super-original, but being a huge Dean-girl myself, I'd really like to hear your thoughts, if you're okay with it. No pressure though :) Hope you're having a wonderful day!💞💞💞💞💞💕

So this isn't "tomorrow" is it, oops

Thank you so much! And sorry for taking so long. Also... have you met me? I could talk about Dean all day! and high-key hoped someone would ask about him haha.

How do I feel about this charater?

I love him with every single fibre of my being. My sun and my moon and my stars in the sky. The love of my life, my dearest son. My heart and my everything. 'Cause "my favorite character of all time" just doesn't seem to cut it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

So there's the "I'd die for this ship" and there's "oh this could be fun/sure why not/it happened once in a fic (or should)" and there's also "I yearn for ancient, immortal, powerful beings cherishing and adoring (or obsessing over) Dean Winchester"

Lisa Braeden (OTP OTP OTP), Benny Lafitte, Donna Hanscum, Crowley, Nancy Fitzgeralt, Anna, Victor Henriksen, Cassie Robinson, Bela Talbot, Aaron Bass, Arthur Ketch, Tessa, Amara, Cain, Abaddon, Godstiel, og!Michael, og!Death??? That girl with the book in A Most Holy Man!!!, Eliot Spencer (Leverage) and Andy (The Olg Guard)??? and this one guy from a polish series apparently. Now that I think about it also Derek Morgan (CM) and Jamie Fraser (Outlander) omg pls?? Also other Deans okay? HunterCorp and 2014!Dean and Dean Smith yes. I'm probably forgetting someone but I'll stop here.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Charlie Bradbury and Jodie Mills <3<3<3

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't really have unpopular opinions on Dean. It's just that a lot of opinions about him are wrong (and some people been clearly watching a different show).

But I'll go with this: Dean doesn't need tough love. He doesn't "respond well" to tough love. He responds to soft love, he thrives on soft love and support and that's what he deserves. Soft, tender, squishy love for the soft, tender boy who loves with his whole heart and that's that on that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I wish he would work out a healthier relationship with Sam and got a happy ending with some awesome lady (Donna pls?) with Sam visiting for like, Christmas. I just want Dean to be healthy and happy and treated the way he deserves to be treated with love and respect and appreciation of his jokes, nerdiness, enthusiasm and encyclopeadic knowledge of cowboys

[toast-the-unknowing]

Lmaoooooo “when I grow up I’m going to have so much amnesia” pls just post whatever you’ve written over the last ten years I am so INTRIGUED

Well, the subject line is a Futurama quote, I can’t take credit for that, alas.

I am fond of several of the jokes in that story, but at the end of the day, it’s a mystery and I wrote 20k words of it without ever deciding what the answer to the mystery is. The odds I’ll ever bother figuring it out now are slim, especially since I look back and realize...you know...I’ve become a much better writer than I was 10 years ago and most of those 20k words aren’t great.

But some of them I like! So what the hell, why not, here’s some of my favorite bits from a Star Trek 2009 fic that will probably never otherwise see the light of day:

The whole thing with Kirk and Spock losing their memories on the same away trip is funny for a total of three seconds before it becomes utterly terrifying.

Okay, maybe there's about five minutes of Hikaru making himself sick trying to hold in laughter at the stunned stupid look on Kirk's face as he steps onto the bridge, the way that Spock mutters "what an ingenious invention" after they're beamed back to the Enterprise, but hey, Hikaru's only human. And now so is Kirk, stripped of that cockiness that comes from knowing he's survived all kinds of crazy shit that he shouldn't have, and so is Spock in a way, since he seems to have forgotten all his Vulcan mind-master training along with everything else.

And that thought is what wipes the smirk off Hikaru's face and has him exchanging sideways glances with Chekov, because they're right on the edge of Klingon space, Kang had sworn eternal vengeance against the entire crew the last time they'd seen him, and without Kirk's impossible ability to get them out of everything he gets them into, Hikaru doesn't like their odds of escaping a skirmish unharmed.

McCoy skips right over the part where anything about the situation is amusing and even skips over the "utterly terrifying" part and opts straight for angry yelling before the doors of the turbolift have finished opening to allow him onto the bridge.

"What the devil are you playing at now, Jim?" McCoy demands, striding up to Kirk and waving a tricorder at him that he can't possibly be reading, since he's too busy venting at Kirk's face to look at the machine.

The effect of this is apparently lost on the amnesiac Kirk, who looks over his shoulder trying to figure out who McCoy is talking to.

Right. No one told the Captain his name was Jim.

"We're doomed," Chekov whispers to Hikaru, who wholeheartedly agrees.

-

"More tests?" Hikaru asks Chapel. Hikaru hopes he sounds world-weary but in all likelihood he just sounds like a kid whining about not wanting to go to the dentist's. At least when he was a kid his parents would give him some candy to make the whole experience more bearable.

"You've failed them all so far," Chapel tells him.

"Doesn't being healthy count as passing?"

"Not in his Sickbay." She gestures over her shoulder at McCoy, who is ranting to the nurses that he washes his hands of Hikaru, complete with actually physically washing his hands, because McCoy has no concept of subtlety.

-

Maybe it was just the terrible psychological burden of working too long under McCoy that had made her a sadist. Hikaru had helped the med staff repair and restock Sickbay after a disastrous encounter with Romulans, and after two days of McCoy's crazy-eyes drilling into the back of his skull, he hadn't felt terribly generous toward his fellow sentient beings. Kirk, who always had to be perverse and do the opposite of what a normal person would do, had been invigorated by the experience and set some kind of mountain-climbing record on the next planet they stopped at.

-

McCoy must be having a field day, wherever he is; nothing makes him happier than a legitimate reason to be unhappy.

-

He winces and walks over to answer the door, to find Chekov's curly head bouncing around with an upbeat energy that makes Hikaru feel a thousand years old.

"What?" he asks. "Communicator doesn't work?"

"You didn't answer," Chekov points out, which is probably correct. Hikaru hadn't been aware of anything, much less the chirp of a communicator.

"You know," he tells Chekov, stepping back into his room so he can change into a fresh uniform, "when someone is annoyed with you, telling them how it's their fault doesn't make them like you any better. It just makes them more annoyed."

Chekov blinks big, hurt eyes at him. "You are annoyed with me?"

Hikaru just sighs and lets it go. "So what do I need to be told so badly?" he asks, slipping on a new pair of pants and pulling his shirt off. "I'm guessing that if it were good news, it could wait."

"We have Klingons," Chekov tells him, completely matter-of-fact, and Hikaru is never going to share with anyone, least of all Chekov, the fact that his immediate response to this was to think Russians really are that stoic.

His next thought is that he has to get to the bridge, now, so he sets off at a run with Chekov following along behind.

His third thought, that he never did finish getting dressed, takes its own sweet time occurring to him, specifically waiting until the doors to the Bridge open and Uhura looks at him, blinks her eyes at a momentary loss for words, and then smirks.

In retrospect, it will feel pretty good to have made Uhura happy about something in the middle of this whole clusterfuck. At the time, Hikaru just wonders how bad it could really be to eject himself out the nearest airlock.

"Had a disagreement with your uniform, Mr. Sulu?" Uhura asks. "Or have your just decided that today is a good day for swashbuckling?"

Hikaru plays it cool, because there are only so many options available for you when you show up to battle without a shirt on, and because there's an appreciative look in the eyes of more than one person on the Bridge that reminds him that his shirtlessness is not, in and of itself, anything to be ashamed about. "I wanted to be on hand as soon as possible to help with the situation, sir," he tells her, voice completely smooth. He falls into a formal at-ease position that draws the muscles in his chest tight, causing someone to whistle lowly.

The Acting Captain is actively fighting back laughter at this point; Uhura is going to give him shit about this for the rest of his natural life, but then again, Klingons, so Hikaru can't begrudge her trying to make the most of it now in case the rest of his natural life is only another ten minutes. "Mr. Chekov, please restrain your dramatics in the future," she tells him, and the ensign takes on a look of righteous outrage that is decades older than his face. "Perhaps you could have communicated to Mr. Sulu that another second or two's delay would not have been fatal."

"I thought it obvious, sir," Chekov says, primly. "No Russian would charge into battle in such a state of unpreparedness."

"Because they'd freeze to death on a summer's day," Hikaru mutters.

-

"How?" Uhura asks, with that same fake innocent tone she uses when she's trying to convince everyone at the table that she's got a shit hand, and dammit, Hikaru has fallen for that bluff too many times. After which he was often divested of an article of clothing, oddly enough, so the whole thing is starting to feel really familiar.

-

Kang is even willing to deal with someone who isn't Kirk, as long as Kirk is there to have accusations and insults hurled at him, which is some kind of horrible metaphor for command but Hikaru is still trying to force his jaws together and doesn't quite appreciate the many, many cosmic jokes that are unfurling in front of him.

-

Every single person on the bridge of the Enterprise who still has a brain freezes and darts their eyes to the view screen at the exact same second. Later that simultaneity would make Hikaru wonder why the hell the dancing had been so uncoordinated in the crew's performance of Pirates of Penzance, since clearly they are all psychically linked to each other. Or perhaps psychic connections require substantial motivational force. Few things are more substantial or more motivating than enraged Klingons, and – as every eyeball except two immediately takes in – they have one hell of an enraged Klingon on their hands.

"WHAT CHARADE IS THIS," Kang demands, spitting out 'charade' like it's the dirtiest word he knows. Apparently Klingon honor doesn't have much time for theater. Hikaru wonders what Klingons do for embarrassing social bonding in lieu of Pirates of Penzance.

-

"Oh, good, so we can tell them that we aren't responsible, they'll listen to that and act reasonable," McCoy mutters, before jabbing Kirk with something on the pretense of getting more brainwave readings. McCoy has been dragging Kirk around the ship with him all morning for reasons as yet unexplained. Hikaru's torn on thinking it's to cause more havoc, since every little thing that happens inspires a thousand pointless questions from the deposed captain, and thinking it's so he can stab at Kirk like some stress relief toy. It doesn't seem to be working, but modern science has not yet found a conduit big enough to channel McCoy's stress, so that would be asking a bit much to ask from a guy who needed help going to the bathroom earlier. (Hikaru made Chekov do it. That's what ensigns are for, right?)

-

Chapel had proclaimed the whole thing hogwash and said she would get around to it when she had a minute, and implied that that minute was going to be a long time coming, because apparently that attitude was handed down with command of Sickbay like the crown of a hereditary monarch.

-

Besides, there's the Klingons to consider, and even Scotty can't make hooch so strong it wipes out the memories of people on other ships. Probably. Hikaru will ask him about it when his memory is back, and they will write a paper together, "A Transwarp Theory of Moonshine", and it will ruin both of their chances of ever advancing up the command chain, which would probably suit Scotty just fine and would be the best thing to ever happen to Hikaru if it means he never has to deal with a mess like this again.

-

"When we get to the point where we're recruiting untested specialists from alternate dimensions to solve the problem, just leave me brainless," Chapel scoffs. "I don't want to know."

Hikaru scribbles a note to himself. Evil clones running the Enterprise becomes Plan Y; stealing versions of themselves from other dimensions becomes Plan Z. He thinks they have a better chance of un-fixing the teleporter to make clones again than of making it pull people from other dimensions.

-

Chekov bounds down the hall at him – speaking of teenagers – and apparently the gloom is rolling off Hikaru thick enough to strike down an enthusiastic ensign at fifty paces, because the spring goes right out of Chekov's step when Hikaru looks at him. His faces turns somber and he tugs on his uniform shirt like he's worried about wrinkles. Or maybe he just remembered that this is a catastrophe in the making and a little gravity is called for.

He nearly takes it too far, though, going for a salute and Hikaru thinks that if Chekov salutes him right now he will actually go insane. He intercepts Chekov's arm on the way up and drops it back down like its covered in nettles. Chekov looks a little confused about how to proceed from here, but hell, the kid's always telling them he's a genius, let him figure something out.

-

He picks up Chapel like a leech; when he refuses to stop in Sickbay she just attaches herself to him and starts talking every bit as rapidly as Hikaru is walking. He can't tell how she's breathing. Maybe she isn't. Hikaru feels a little bit like he isn't breathing, either, or that might just be his flair for the dramatic.

He gets distracted, too, by the nurse who is accompanying Chapel, holding several PADDS and a medical tricorder and struggling to hold it all and drop nothing and keep up on her rather short legs. Maybe they could slow down for her, but hell, Chapel's her boss and isn't worried.

Hikaru can't remember the nurse's name. That's a panicky moment, but no, it's just that she's new. Should he ask her name, he wonders, or would that be rude? As the captain, however temporary or inglorious the title may be, he should know everyone on the crew already.

At least the crew is making that easier on him by shrinking.

-

"Stress is every bit a real, medical problem, particularly among young men in high-pressure situations who think they're immortal." This comes with a side order of meaningful look.

"I assure you, Nurse, I am well-aware of my failings."

"And I'm seeing drastically heightened stress all over the ship. Heart rate, blood pressure, shaking, forgetfulness -- not amnesia -- emotional outbursts -- "

"Maybe the crew doesn't like having medical personnel hovering all around them." Hikaru jumps as the short nurse waves her tricorder over him, presumably getting a reading of his own heart rate, blood pressure, and emotional outbursts. "I'm open to any suggestions about how to lower the crew's stress levels, up to and including Ensign Chekov going door to door singing Russian lullabies."

"I'll put that down as Plan Z," Chapel says, and holy shit, can she read his mind? He makes himself think profusely repentant thoughts for his attitude the last two days and also for that time he sneaked a look at her hand at poker, just in case. Also, he probably shouldn't play poker with Chapel anymore, honest or otherwise, if she can read his mind.

-

That, that right there, is apparently what Chapel looks like when she is truly outraged and not just annoyed or sarcastic or feeling superior, which is a valuable piece of information and Hikaru files it away in the very sincere and fervent hope that he never sees it again.

"You know, just, some people," the Acting Captain of the Federation Starship Enterprise mumbles into his shoulder.

-

"How did we get here?" Hikaru mutters. He's barely even realized he's spoken, so it's doubly alarming when Chekov jumps up and grabs his shoulders, shakes them violently.

"Sulu, no, you cannot have amnesia, too," the kid starts babbling. Why is it that his accent gets easier to understand when he's worked up? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Unless, hang on, has the kid been faking his accent this whole time? "Then I will have to take command of the Enterprise and while that is a thing I have dreamed of doing, it is no good to me if no one is around to admire."

[changmiii]

favorite BTS fics of 2018!

I wanted to recap all of my favorite fics that came out this year! It was really hard to choose because I honestly love everything that I’ve bookmarked but here are the ones that made the cut. Keep in mind that these are all memberxmember ships that include various pairings (although certainly some more than others), so if that isn’t your thing look elsewhere!

January

we've got chemistree by cygnus (sunsprite) -- truly a masterpiece. this is a Jikook fake dating au and I love so many things about it, from the characterization to the sense of humor throughout. I’ve reread this several times and loved it each time

twenty-four by fruitily -- yoonkook are handcuffed together for a social experiment. The author does such a wonderful job of slowly revealing the backstory throughout and it’s just altogether very solid

February

wait a little bit (i'm on my way home) by sirradel -- SO GOOD. seriously so so good. this fic made me feel so many things

morning after by TheHalesNyx -- the title is a p good summary, this is an adorable yoonkook oneshot and I love it so much

March

everybody’s watching him, but he’s looking at you by jonghyunslisterine -- WOWW ok. even though this is on the shorter side it is such a good fic, basically Jungkook is a bouncer and Jimin is a stripper and tries to get Jungkook to notice him pls read it.

Precisely When Somebody Shows You to the Ocean by sinkingmyships -- oh wow. this was a journey. yoonjin with a healthy amount of angst and love

April

with a bang (stunted plants can bloom) by fruitily -- oof...this fic man...I love Jungkook working in a flower shop, this is truly yoonkook at its finest

inside a sinking feeling by CaptainButts -- I’m literally always here for jinkook and this did not disappoint. Jungkook is part of a group that steals art 

May

The Many 'The's Before The End by loindexter -- oh my...this fic is truly wonderful. I usually don’t like canon compliant fics but I loved this one so much

Sweet Like Silicon by GinForInk -- THIS FIC. WOW. ok I could not recommend this one more I love everything written by GinForInk but this one is like...up there with my all time faves it’s wonderful.

June

harvest moon, recall your youth by blackranger (robpatFF) -- taegi get drunk married in Las Vegas, after this I read everything by blackranger and I would recommend you do so as well. 

Oxbow by sinkingmyships -- this is yoonjin based on Avatar which I am not familiar with, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. 

one strange night in one strange city by134340jjks -- wowwwww I love jungseok and this is some quality stuff

July

Unbelievable by mllevangogh -- there is not enough quality namjin out there so this is very much appreciated

August

Swamp Magic by GinForInk -- I don’t think this was necessarily posted in 2018 but the most recent updates are QUALITY, honestly the entire thing is quality so if you have not yet read it I would suggest you do so. 

golden hour by whomstisthis -- wow. this is namkook where Namjoon is home from college and JK lives across the street

Cowboys Love Horses by GinForInk -- u know how i said I love GinForInk WELL. this is also an amazing story that I would definitely recommend. 

i guess i want too much byjonghyunslisterine -- I have too many for August but I couldn’t not rec this one. Jimin gets caught up with Jungkook and Yoongi who are kinda-but-not-really brothers

September

A Present for the Present by loindexter -- basically Yoongi has a v significant response to receiving gifts and Seokjin continues giving him gifts

you took my hand out from the rain by jonghyunslisterine -- Jungkook is a soldier and Yoongi is the king

October

Fake Sugar by minverse -- i think this is THE fic of 2018. THE fic. minverse has such a wonderful sense of humor and writes characters so poignantly you feel like they right in front of you. This is truly a must-read.

the wishes that are in our eyes by misspamela -- basically babies appear in front of Taehyung when he is feeling strong emotions, lots of things ensue

November

cat cradle by kaythebest -- a yoonjin magic au + cats

play me like a love song by marienadine -- jinkookmin adorableness. 

Blue Filter by GinForInk -- yup im just gonna rec every fic by GinForInk bc they are all quality. This one was especially soft and I adore Namjoon as a marine biologist

December

plastic pine trees by goldenhearts -- beautiful jinmin christmas au that truly made me feel things

you love me better than i've known before by jonghyunslisterine -- this is a sequel so I would recommend reading the first part, but it was really really good and I was happy to get more closure!

Okay that is all! there were so so many other fics that I read and loved but I wanted to keep this relatively short.

check out changmi on ao3 for my original fics!

[zombiejette]

RadioDust HCs:

ok kids. bc i have no chill yet no desire to clean these ramblings up into an actual fic, have some of my extremely self-indulgent hcs for this ship. this is gonna get long-winded and wild, so strap tf in.

General HCs:

Alastor is gray or demisexual. Meaning he is generally sex-repulsed until he becomes incredibly close to someone. This is pretty much my standard HC across the board for him, especially when I’m trying to ship him with Angel cuz lord knows there needs to be a middle ground between their sexual natures somewhere lol

Even after falling for someone, he still is fairly indifferent to sex, but he does enjoy eliciting reactions, especially from someone he knows well. And in the rare event that he cares for another, he does genuinely want to bring them pleasure. Therefore he sees sex more as an extension of this and is willing to participate to make his partner happy/is interested in creating their reactions

Likes to know he’s the only one to rile them up as well, part of his power kink

Alastor also has no idea what these identity terms mean either: is a clueless murderous old man

Angel is a tad more Woke™, especially after being in Hell for a while

Having younger generations of demon friends helps with this: Cherri or Vaggie being the ones to usually clue him in to more modern concepts

Drives Angel up a gd wall when he attempts to explain a modern invention/slang/pop culture reference to Alastor, who only digs his heels in with Not Understanding it just to piss him off more

Alastor not only does understand, but saves this fact for the times when he really wants to impress/screw with Angel, or when the knowledge comes in handy

He’ll never forget the look on Angel’s face when he casually informed him that the deer selfie filter is actually super offensive to him and would you please be a ‘deer’ and cease using it on insta thank you now there’s a love

Angel is now super paranoid that Alastor will see all his social media interactions somehow, despite him NOT having any accounts anywhere

Does not stop him from posting nsfw selfies and tagging them with #alastor/radiodemon in the least

Anemia HCs:

ok so i read somewhere that angel was anemic on the hazbin wiki info, or something?? i don’t know if that was real or not but uh... i took it and ran with it, so now it’s my hc, and this whooooole thing turned itself into a multi-part mini fic, which is all under the cut. if you’re dying of radiodust thirst like me, pls enjoy this mess.

Part One:

Angel is indeed anemic, and the first time Alastor finds out is when he literally passes out into his arms like a bad ‘Gone with the Wind’ parody

At first Alastor was disgusted, thinking this was yet another stupid ploy to hit on him... until he realized Angel wasn’t speaking anymore

Something that never happens

He wasn’t expecting to care, let alone lift the spider the rest of the way into his arms, carrying him to Charlie so she can figure this out

One second, Angel was fainting on him, the next, Alastor found himself sitting by his bed, placing a cool cloth over his brow and waiting for Charlie to get back with supplies

Almost like something out of those novels Mother used to think she had so cleverly hidden away

Hmm

Somehow, that thought alone was not enough to make him leave, so there he dutifully remained

Even as Angel woke up, groggy, yet giving him maybe the smallest, softest smile he’d ever seen the demon make

”Al... you stayed...”

Well that was certainly something. The way it made his pulse race quicker and palms sweat under his gloves was definitely new. And apparently enough to keep him sticking around through Charlie’s fussing and prodding and Angel’s consequent refusal of said mothering

Until Alastor remembered that anemic means lack of iron

iron like from meat

meat like from animals

and animal meat was his specialty!

Without another word, he left for the kitchen, only to return with a giant steak dinner (clearly bullied out of the staff in a rush), complete with mashed potatoes and vegetables and a large glass of orange juice

Literally everything Angel never eats

He refused to leave until it was all eaten, sitting back in his chair and bribing Angel with the offer to tell him a story as he finished it

And so he does, weaving a vivid tale just like back in his radio star days, complete with voices and hand gestures

Never before had Angel and Charlie ever seen Alastor quite this engaged in something that wasn’t murder or chaos; instead spinning a yarn about a boy and his magical pig who helps him to find his lost twin sister

Angel is quite enraptured, naturally, having to be prompted to keep eating a couple times, and Charlie hangs back by the doorway, absolutely beside herself internally at what’s unfolding before her

Vaggie would no doubt try to convince her otherwise later, and she may just be a princess of hell, but she knows love when she sees it dammit!

Eventually, she can sense the story’s end coming near, and as much as she wants to hear it, she wants their story to begin more, so she quietly slips away and leaves them alone

The tale indeed ends and Angel swallows the last of the drink, both quiet a moment, looking at each other

“…. Where’d ya hear that one Al?”

“Hear it?”

“Ya know, where’d you get it from? Some old fairy tale book? A movie? It’s real good and I know Molly would love that it’s basically just like us, so if ya tell me where to find it I can-“

“Nowhere. I made it up.”

“You made that up!!? Just now!?”

a small chuckle “Yes, that is what storytellers do…”

“… For me?”

Alastor pauses at that, regarding him again

“I suppose… Yes, yes that one was just for you. About you, really… with some… embellishments,” he twirls a hand nonchalantly in the air before returning it to the other in his lap “Either way I’ve never told it to anyone before, if that’s what you’re after.”

And there’s that smile again, the one that Angel never wore before today, and the one that Alastor would find himself chasing every day since, whether he realizes it or not

Part Two:

The only downside to this is now Alastor will not leave Angel alone about his iron intake

Constantly asking him if he’s had anything substantial today, pushing juices and vitamins and most of all meat onto him, sometimes holding him hostage to watch him eat it

Angel would be flattered if it didn’t interfere with his drug and alcohol habit so much

“Al, geez let up wouldya!? I’m already in Hell, why do I gotta be HELLthy too huh??” a smirk accompanied that, despite himself

the radio demon sighs “As much as I appreciate a well-timed pun, I must insist” he taps where Angel’s nose would be on a normal face “I’m already well aware that you’ll never be ‘healthy’, but I’d take conscious as a consolation prize.”

“Really?? YOU prefer me conscious??”

“Don��t flatter yourself-” he scoffed faintly “I have a hotel to endorse, and you are it’s prized resident, my opinions on the matter non-withstanding. I can’t very well have the famed Angel Dust dropping like a fly at a moment’s notice over such a small thing as malnutrition. What kind of operation would this look like if we couldn’t at least keep on top of something as simple as anemia, hmm?”

For once, Angel had nothing to return fire with, since the last time someone gave him such a convincing speech about his well-being was his sister right before his death, and he really didn’t feel like putting anyone through that agony again

Not even Alastor

After that, Angel takes whatever food Al gives him in annoyed silence, but he still takes it

Though it’s getting harder and harder to remain annoyed when what Alastor gives him starts increasing in quality

At first it’s swiped energy bars or simply juice, but then progresses to sandwiches and fruit and deviled eggs and little spinach quiches and tortes and assortments of cheeses that can’t be easy to procure down here, even with Alastor’s influence

If you cornered him, Angel would never admit it, but he actually forgot how much he missed real food after being inebriated constantly, and Al’s little treats become the new highlight of his day

He’ll even stop using some of the harder drugs so he can better taste them

Charlie would never tell them for fear of the whole thing stopping on an embarrassed dime, but she’s so so proud of them both for this little secret transaction

Angel does start looking and acting better as a result, even though he still abuses alcohol and softer drugs and def keeps his sexual nature intact

But he’s less irritable and prone to lashing out, and his coloring is brighter and his hair sleeker

He also isn’t as tired as often and hasn’t fainted at all since the first time, just feeling overall stronger and more lucid

Which he can’t really complain about even though he wants to

Part Three:

The hotel even benefits from this, some small press circulating about Angel’s newfound constitution and attributing it to their work

In celebration, one night Alastor invites him to a proper dinner at one of Hell’s most famous fancy restaurants

One where the press could easily find them if they wanted

Angel knows this is just to show off his progress but doesn’t shy away from it- for once excited to eat out somewhere and not “eat out” if ya know what I mean

Besides, Alastor doesn’t seem that perturbed to be seen in public with him either, a rare development and not one to scoff at

They both dress up nicer than normal for it, making a big show as the hotel’s representatives, even walking in arm-in-arm

Angel is not immune to the certain type of looks they get as they arrive, and wonders if he should tell Al

Seeing the man with one of his more casual and less murderous smiles on as they take their seats convinces him not to

It would be a shame to get their outfits all bloody anyway

Especially since Angel decided to return to his drag look for the evening, complete with a new skintight velvet dress, feeling far fancier all dolled up than in any of his menswear

The glances Al gives him from time to time don’t hurt either, eyes noticeably lingering on his exaggerated chest fluff each time

Something Angel has no problem with, leaning forward and accentuating it more, resting his chin on a hand lightly to prop his figure up

Alastor orders for the both of them since he knows the place better, raving about their veal and venison dishes on the way over

Earlier in the year, this might have unnerved Angel more, knowing the demon’s penchant for savagery and carnage when it came to “hunting”, but now? He found it almost charming, that Al was so invested in the meat selection of Hell’s dining establishments that he even made his own ranking system for the best places to get each type of animal, who better prepared it according to cuisine, and how each cut measured up in quality

Angel took the liberty of perusing their liquor selection to create his own ranking system, just to be fair

Would be impolite to let Al do all the work on this date after all

….. wait…..

Date???

The fork clattering to the floor jarred Angel back to his senses, realizing his elbow had slipped abruptly from its perch at the very thought, almost in an allergic reaction to the word

Al only raised a controlled eyebrow at the flustered way Angel ducked down to retrieve it under the table skirt

Which is of course the very moment the paparazzi decided to start snapping their pictures

Alastor quickly spun around at the flashing lights, smiling dangerously at them and stopping some of the more cowardly photographers, but not quite enough

Angel, oblivious, continued rooting around for the fork, all the while inching closer and closer towards Alastor’s seat

“Angel!” Al hissed, finally reaching under and putting a hand on Angel’s hair to still him. Of course not making this look any better. “Sit up. Now.”

“Wait, but I almost got it Al-ahh!”

He was roughly pulled up by the back of his dress and sat up, hair mussed and face flushed incriminatingly, only making Alastor groan in defeat at some more camera snaps

It took half a second, but Angel suddenly understood, face blank in momentary shock

Alastor fully expected him to turn it into another lewd joke, brush it off and dig the hole deeper, most certainly at the expense of his own comfort

He quickly steeled himself for the impending barrage of innuendos and unwanted touching

What he wasn’t prepared for was Angel to suddenly leave the table, storming right up to the cameramen with the angriest look he’d ever seen on the spider’s face

“Ey ya parasites!! Let me see those!” he holds a couple of impatient hands out for their cameras, still fuming

Some actually comply out of complete shock, not at all used to Angel Dust getting mad about being photographed ever, especially over anything sexual

Angel proceeds to delete the photos off the first camera… then gets more and more frustrated when the pictures just wouldn’t stop coming. After a while, he just smashes the camera on the ground in a huff

“Fuck this it’ll take too long!” he points to the remaining paparazzi with intact cameras, still shocked and clutching them “Y’all are gonna delete every SINGLE photo you took of that little misunderstanding just now, alright?? Or else I’m gonna keep smashing cameras! Got it??”

They all nod and start deleting hurriedly

“And if ANY a ya think about gettin’ wise and leaking some anyway… well… let’s just say I had a much more deadly occupation than porn star when I was alive…” his face darkens at that, putting on his best godfathers voice to hit it home “And I ain’t afraid a comin’ out of retirement temporarily… Capisce?”

They capisce

He returns to the table with a resigned sigh and combs through his wig to tame it again, taking out a compact to fix his face

Completely ignoring the stunned absence of a smile on Alastor’s

Eventually Angel dares to glance at it and gives him an involuntary cringe

“Ah... Sorry Al…” he starts slowly, stowing the compact away again in his bosom and looking down chagrined “I know I went and made a scene in your favorite place and… and yer probably real mad and all an’… oh damn, Charlie’s gonna kill me if you don’t firs-“

“-Thank you.”

“W.. wait what??”

“Thank you…” Alastor repeated, if only to assure himself he was really saying it “I… it was… I never expected you to get mad…”

“Al?”

“I thought you’d let them… run with it” he waves a hand, explaining himself, somewhat awkwardly “Especially since it… it would help you. Your reputation. To be caught with the radio demon like… like that.”

The way his voice became so small on the last two words worried Angel much more than he’ll ever admit. The way you could hear the mortification behind his smile. He always knew Al was adverse to the act but never had he seen him actually terrified by it. Paralyzed by the stark realization of how close he came to becoming its subject… even if only as a rumor

It simply emboldened Angel’s resolve

the spider scoffed lightly “Well yeah… maybe if that’s what we had been doin’… or if you were into that stuff at all…”

“What?”

“I mean we weren’t even actually tryin’! I was just lookin’ fer a dumb fork for cryin’ out loud-!“

“No… no what about… me being into it?”

a pause, and then a one-shouldered shrug “Well it’s not the same thing as a payin customer is it?… Like you don’ even LIKE sex and stuff and… it’s different when it’s just us flirtin’ and bullshittin’ around at the hotel… I know you hate that too but at least there no one ain’t tryin’ ya capitalize on yer pain. Word never gets out. No one knows just how much I get under yer skin, so it’s almost like it never happened. But these pictures…” he waved both of his right hands in unison, motioning for emphasis “They’re permanent.. and they’d only be helpin’ my reputation while hurtin’ yours…”

Alastor just continues to stare

“A-and the hotel’s… of course…”

Finally a smile returns to his face, but with no hint of anything except appreciation behind it

“Of course…”

Part Four:

The rest of dinner went smoothly

Al had indeed picked well, and the dishes were some of the best Angel had ever tasted, other than his Momma’s cooking of course

When Al made a small chuckle at even that joke, Angel knew he must’ve done something right to land this far in the radio demon’s good graces

Though it could very well be the booze’s doing

Angel had insisted on ordering their drinks to compensate for the fiasco earlier, and had created specialty cocktails for each of them, based on what they ate

He was relieved when Alastor gave a small hum of approval mid-sip, downing a generous amount with an easy smile

And then finishing off three more with dinner

Both were quite full and loose by the time they finished, even getting a small tray of beignets for desert

They found they hadn’t even argued once, save for small asides and joking prods. But really arguing? Hadn’t even crossed their minds. Instead they bonded over jazz artists they both liked, reminisced about the 30′s while filling each other in on the decades they missed, talked a bit about their hometowns, and threw some mutual shade about residents of the hotel they couldn’t stand

Turns out they had quite a lot in common…

They paid on the hotel’s tab and finally headed out to the limo, only swaying slightly and linking arms again to subtly stabilize each other

This time the paparazzi was nowhere in sight, probably long scared off by now

Which is good since Alastor had suddenly removed his arm from Angel’s to pull him in around the waist, keeping the demon from tripping over a nearby curb by pressing him further into his side. Out of reflex, entirely.

After all, it’s not like he’d ever willingly choose to close their proximity. Just like he’d never willingly choose to notice the way Angel’s chest bounced softly against his, or how four hands grasping onto him felt oddly right, or how tempting the velvet hugging the curve of Angel’s lower back became under his fingertips

He’d only occasionally felt this way about accidental invasions of personal space before, and that fact did nothing to reassure him or his nerves

Nor did the pounding of his undead heart in his ears

Angel was also feeling the tension, but for a whole ‘nother reason

Drinks always made him more forward, and having a full belly for once numbed that urge into more of a simmering lust, cozy and comfortable and heavy

Getting tangled up in Alastor’s arms suddenly only made him want one thing

One thing he was telling himself desperately not to do

Which was real hard with Al’s face so so close to his, looking back at him with his own flush dusting along his cheeks and that smile still there, but slightly parted, waiting, hesitant of what it wanted to become but open to suggestions

Suggestions that Angel had plenty of

“You… you were about to trip… my dear…” Alastor finally explained in a hush, dipping a finger into the still water between them and rippling it quietly, grip on him still firm

“…. Ah…” slowly Angel righted himself, not moving away from him, but leaning on him less “That…. that sounds like me…” he offered a lopsided grin at his own joke, daring to look Alastor in the eyes again

Looking for what exactly, he wasn’t sure

And guessed he would never find out, seeing the moment vanish underfoot with the crunch of the limo’s tires, pulling up beside them

Alastor still offered him his hand though, helping guide Angel inside first, then sliding in after

Sitting at least one person apart, the drive begins in unsteady silence, neither exactly looking away but definitely not trying to confront anything either

That is until Alastor starts to fidget with his bow tie, inexplicably feeling very warm

Deciding to simply undo it entirely and redo it looser, he starts it out like usual, but his fingers can’t seem to find their footing and keeps losing track of the last few steps

On the third try, Angel sighs dramatically beside him

“Honestly Al…”

And just like that, the spider is making use of his extra arms and tugging the whole mess loose again, faces mere inches apart as he concentrates and deftly reties it in a perfect bow, which gently hugs the base of Al’s throat as his adam’s apple bobs with a nervous kind of grace

It ends far too quickly and now there is nothing left to keep them in this close… nothing Alastor can invent to explain away how Angel’s fingers linger on the edges of the fabric, or how he wants to undo more of his clothing just for those hands to fix him up again

So he does the only logical thing he can think of

The kiss hits Angel with a sort of intensity he wasn’t expecting, feeling himself pulled in by two gloved hands on his bare shoulders, touch light but not unsure, desperate but without any urgency, simply grounding them together in this moment

Their lips moved against each other’s slowly, mounting in a gentle exploration with Angel deferring to Alastor’s lead, his lower set of hands lightly resting along Al’s hips, asking permission at first until a soft moan granted him it

Eyes fluttering closed, the kiss deepened until it became a series of many, some opened-mouthed, tongues hinting at entering but never actually doing so, and all of them amidst small noises and panting breaths, desire simmering just under the surface of it all

Angel had never kissed like this… never thought to kiss like this… the boiling heat of lust kept at bay by a promise to just make out, to just keep it at another’s pace. All the while flushing his body with a white hot pulsing want that could only wait for someone else to grant it release?? Oh he could die all over again from this torture and would only beg for more. Never getting it being it’s own bittersweet reward

Alastor grappling meanwhile with why he suddenly wanted so very much as well, why, as he clung to Angel’s soft fur-lined skin and let their mouths dance relentlessly, he never once wanted to pull away. Never wanted to run and hide in the solace and safety of the self, was all too happy to let Angel’s hands cup and hold his hips and reward him with moaning sounds he rarely ever makes

His head was swimming in it, and he was oddly eager to let himself drown

Eventually they parted, breathless and slow but mutual, eyes opening again and glossily gazing at the other, searching for silent signs of yes, no, more?, sorry?, good?

“A-Al… I..”

Fingertips graced the speaking lips to silence them again, a small shake of the head a confirmation of no apology needed. “… That was… I liked that…” He offered, smiling small and gentle for once, an acknowledgement of how very rare this had really been. How nothing about this was usual, but not necessarily unwanted

Angel was now convinced he’d died twice

“You… yeah?” he smiled back, just as hopeful

Another nod, Alastor chewing words behind his closed mouth, clearly processing something

“… I don’t… I don’t want you to get… too excited but…”

Angel surprised him with his patience

“… I have kissed before. I… actually more than that as well but...” he shakes his head to keep himself on track before he loses his nerve “It’s not often. And it’s definitely not for fun… not for just… anyone.”

Angel hopes to heaven his smile isn’t too excited

a small exhale before continuing “What I’m trying to say is…. I can’t guarantee anything. I cant... predict how I’ll feel about more… or about everything. But I can tell you that I liked this. And… I’d like to do this sometimes… with you. If you don’t push me for more…”

Two hands held Alastor’s close to his chest, squeezing them once with an earnest smile

“I promise Al. I promise I won’t push… at least I’ll really really try. I know I’m shitty at self-restraint and I won’t lie, I’m fuckin’ pent up as shit right now…” his small chuckle was met with a slightly sarcastic eyebrow, feigning momentary annoyance “But… but I really liked that too. I ain’t never… I ain’t never felt this good after just makin’ out! I didn’t know I could…”

Alastor hums a bit in amusement, hands traveling from Angel’s grip to slide gently down the sides of the velvet dress he’s poured into “Well… seems tonight was a good one for a lot of firsts…” he watched Angel’s small shiver with some glee “Though I might just blame it all on this devilish dress…”

a breathless chuckle “Oh yeah, Al? You like it that much?”

“Yes…” no hesitation as he strokes small circles into the fabric with his thumbs, just over the start of Angel’s hipbones “I’ve always been partial to velvet…. and pretty creatures wearing it…”

Their second kiss lasted all the way home

[lachalaine]

2020′s on the Way !! ✨

accepting

@secrecykept​ submitted: 

It’s the end of 2019 and I finally have time to do this meme I’ve been wanting to do for ages even if I’m not good at getting things like this out, I always forget things or don’t get them out right but here we go.

In this essay I will love on you and Jackie forever and ever…kdjnfkdnfknd

My girl, my bby, my sweetest crab cake and twinsie, you are so so important to me. You are so sweet and kind, you always know just what to say, and talking to you always eases my heart. You are amazing and so giving, you do so much for others but I’m glad for the times you take care of yourself, you deserve happiness and relaxation for yourself.

You are so smart, always having such great insights, your opinions and thoughts mean so much to me and I always want to talk things over with you because I know you will steer me right and you actually care. Life has been really hard on you, but you are so strong and will always make it through.

I’m so lucky to have you in my life, you’re the most amazing and easiest person to talk to. I love that you get me so well, and talking with you is always a highlight. I really don’t know what would have happened if we didn’t become close when we did. You have been such a positive influence in my life, and I can only hope I can do as much for you as you do for me. Chatting and plotting with you is the best, it has gotten me through so much. You are so good and so much fun to plot with, I have never had it so seamless. Your ideas are always so good and I love hearing what you think about certain scenarios and ideas.

And the way you have always been so accepting of All my muses ngjgghhjjj it means so much more than I can say. I know my kids are safe with you and Jackie. I can’t tell you enough that I’m so lucky and grateful to have you as a friend and writing partner. You are so supportive and have the sweetest heart.

I think I said the other day that your opinion means the mostest to me and it really really does, in all things but especially in writing. You are so smart and talented, your style is so pretty and unique, always flowing so well and being full of personality. You have a gift with tone and pace and mood, I always admire the words and feel that your writing gives. You’re hard on yourself and get stuck trying for perfection, but I look up to you so much, your writing is such an inspiration to me. I know you always want to give people your best, and you consistently do! And you are so amazing and smart with the way you notice things in my writing and others, and I always love seeing what you pick up from things, it’s always a good surprise and insight.

And let me talk about your girl. Jackie is my absolute favourite oc, my favorite muse. From the first time I read her info a couple of years ago I was amazed. There is so much to her that i love. A DJ oc? Super cool! Reincarnation? Super duper cool! Norse Mythology! Exciting!! She has a purple hair! I’m in love. Jackie has such a gorgeous design I legit feel my heart doki every time I look at her or think about it. I love that her hair is naturally black and she has to go through such effort to get it the way she wants, I love the depth and thought you’ve put into every bit of her. I love her mahogany eyes and her distinct sense of style. I love her humour and strength and the way she is so real. She has gone through so much and doesn’t always deal with it in a healthy way, she’s human.

And I’m so proud of her and the ways she has grown. I have never been so invested in another muse before but your girl has me wanting to read every little thing about her and to see her continue to grow. Her happiness means so so much to me, I would do anything for her! I admire all the thought, depth and effort you put into your posts for you. I will forever say your blog is my favourite, I can’t get over the quality of writing, aesthetics, musings and everything. You are the Best, every post is a total gem.

I could keep going forever but lemme just conclude. 2019 has been a good year because I’ve had you as a friend and writing partner. I’ll always be so grateful for the fact we started talking, it was ages ago now but I appreciate it so much. All I wish for 2020 is for you to have the best year, you deserve fun and happiness and all the good things. I hope we can continue talking and writing together. Thank you for existing, light of my life! ily lots always. Biggest huggies! (pls just accept my love and dont feel like u gotta reply on all this okie dokie)

momo, oh my gosh bby :((( i don’t know what to say :((( this is so much to take in, and it is so sweet, and honest to god, i couldn’t manage to read it all in one go earlier because i couldn’t keep from bawling like a baby every other paragraph :((( i am too soft and fragile for such lovely and kind words, i cannot handle it :c but my gosh, i have never, ever appreciated a message more!! 

there’s so much here to unpack but i don’t think i can do my feelings justice. all i can tell you is that i am so, so, so very glad that i met you, momo! honestly and with all my heart, that is the most genuine truth i have! you have been a blessing for me in so many ways since we’ve met, you’ve taken care of me even when i’ve been super darn messy in all my moods and have been endlessly understanding, even with all my faults :c you have given me so much calm and peace in the time that i’ve known you, have eased a lot of my anxiety just by being here, just by being my friend, and i can honestly say i don’t even know what it feels like anymore – i don’t remember what it feels like for my anxiety to be so bad :c you have helped me more then you know, more then i could ever say, and though i always, always wish i could do so much more for you and be around more often and not poof inconsistently like i do, because god knows you deserve only the Best and most sincere amount of Effort in the World !! - i’m just so, so comforted by the fact that somehow, even despite everything — it seems i’ve been able to do just enough 🤗💖 

gosh momo, i am glad. more then anything, i will tell you that i am so glad - that i’ve been able to be your confidant all this while, that i’ve been able to ease some of your concerns, that i’ve been able to help you and be a positive influence in your life, because more than anything and with all my heart do i wish you could be happy and thriving and living your best life every single day! you deserve all the good that the world can give you, and i’m glad that you’re slowly but surely getting the tools to achieve it! you have grown so much in the time i’ve known you, even if you might not always feel the same way, but i see the changes that have occurred in you, occurred in your life, and all i can wish for is that it continues for the better ❤ you are so very capable and so very wonderful and talented and good, so vibrant and positive and creative and sweet, and i am hopeful that i can help you realize this bit by bit every single day. you are of my bestest friends, my absolutely favorite blog, my favorite writer with literally ALL my favorite muses of all time! muses who are so unique and different and special and so wonderful in so many ways!! and by god, but the mere fact that jackie was somehow lucky enough to catch all their attentions! and the fact that they feel comfortable enough to be with her the way they do! they are so precious and wonderful and incredible, and i’m honestly in awe of everything we’ve come up with! all the ideas that are so different from each other yet each have their own special qualities ❤ it has been such a treat for us since day 1! and gosh, but it is my pleasure and honor that i am able to give jackie to you and your kids, because i know she’s safe with all of them too. even when things go south, i know she’s safe. i know our friendship is safe. i know everything that occurs is good and there’s a reason for it, and if nothing else we’ll figure it out and we’ll have so much fun doing it, and i am honestly one of the luckiest people on this website - to have stumbled on someone who gets me so well too, who is so seamless to write with, who listens and cares and understands, and gives me a reason to do my best every single time! 🤗💖 you are the easiest person for me to talk to as well, you make my heart warm and make me cry sometimes because i do adore you so, so much, with all my heart, and the warmth of your presence is a gift i could never repay 💖 

i’m so happy we found each other when we did, i’m blessed that we were there for each other when we needed a friend. i think we were really meant to find each other, and i’ll be endlessly grateful that i got this chance, because honestly speaking, i wouldn’t change you at all for anything in the world!! 

i’m glad i can be there for you! i’m glad i can be a positive influence for you! i’m glad i can do my best for you, even when i might not always be around in my fullest capacity! i’m glad it has helped you when you needed it most 💕 i’m glad my words can give you some peace, even just a bit hihi 🤗 thank you for all that you do for me in turn! thank you for always listening to me when i needed to vent and cry, for understanding when i couldn’t be around. thank you for granting me the compassion i needed to be better to myself. thank you for always appreciating my writing and my daughter and for inspiring me and teaching me to write better!! thank you for even always giving me the urge TO write !! thank you for always doing your best even when you are a soft marshmallow, and for always writing LIKE AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN AND FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME THE GOOD PLOTS AND SHIPS AND RAMBLES AND FOR ALWAYS SHARING AS MUCH AS U COULD WITH ME BECAUSE IT HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH MY DARKEST DAYS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT U 😭😭😭 you have been! an absolute gift! a blessing ! an angel !! and i am so lucky to be your twinsie and be able to have this connection with you, my best girl! 

jackie and i are the luckiest! we are the LUCKIEST and i will scream about you and your kids to anyone that will listen ( and even to those who don’t ) for the rest of my fucking days !!!!!! you and your work! the dedication and thought you put in! the writing and the ideas and everything in between ! you deserve to be appreciated and adored and you deserve all the appreciation and admiration in the world! and i am lucky ! i am lucky that i got this chance !! to be your twin! to be your friend! to be your writing partner with each and every one of our kids!!! you mean the world to me, momo! an inspiration like no one else! who has taught me so much, who has given me and my muse so much, and is the main and literal REASON that i am still here and will KEEP COMING BACK, the reason that jackie herself has grown and experienced as much love and affection and positive change as she has! you and your muses are the reason she is getting healthier, the reason she feels more like herself again after everything! the reason she is happy, the reason i’m able to explore her in ways i could never manage before because nothing ever felt right, and yet with your kids - they all feel so natural. thank you for accepting her in her entirety, THANK U FOR LOVING HER IN ALL THE WAYS THAT U DO AND FOR HAVING AS MUCH INTEREST IN HER AS U DO !!! and thank you endlessly for giving us as much effort and dedication as you have! writing with you has been the best experience ever, it’s been so much fun and you’re so smart and talented and imaginative and creative and adshbhdbsahdbas i just!! i adore you!! i adore your writing and your talent and your style and you and everything and anything in between! you are such a spark of delight and i love you with my heart, bby!!! i look up to you in every way!!

you are the best person to write with, the person to plot with, the best person to be friends with, and i’m so happy i found you! and i just want u to know i appreciate it all !!! thank u for always spoiling us the way you do with all the good shippies 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE TO DO MORE FOR U AND YOUR KIDS IN THE YEARS TO COME !!!!! i love you so much, momo!!! with all my heart!! thank you for a wonderful and enjoyable 2019, and happy new year, my best girl!! to better days and a brighter future for us both in 2020, to more chatting and to more fun, more writing plots, more ships and threads and au’s every other day heheheheh 💕💕💕💕 i send u the biggest huggies every single day !!  🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

// @secrecykept​

[eviestrol]

Synastry Ship - @seoaras

i really enjoyed my first synastry ship, so I was wondering if your synastry ships are still open, can I request one with nct mark pls? Thank you again!🥺💖

@seoaras Thanks for requesting!!

Pros

Conjunction Sun - Neptune: You feel connected to each other from the beginning. You are likely to fall in love very quickly. Deep understanding and acceptance flow naturally between you. You’re both highly sensitive to each other’s needs, moods and feelings. This is a relationship where you can finish each other’s sentences.

Conjunction Moon - Pluto: Causes a magnetic sexual attraction and you are instinctively tuned in to each other’s emotional needs. You need each other. You’ll cause great spiritual growth in each other.

Conjunction Mercury - Uranus: You guys tend to make decisions quickly and impulsively. This makes your relationship fun and exciting but make sure to take more care with important matters. The two of you grow intellectually when you are together, and there is a true feeling of learning and going somewhere in the relationship. He challenges and changes your way of thinking. Discovering alternative ways of seeing the world and living in it are essential attractions in your relationship.

Sextile Venus - Saturn: You share mutual goals for material and emotional stability and have a willingness to focus together on the task at hand in order to achieve your desires. You can depend on each other and this is one indication of a long-term, significant relationship. You can count on each other, and you both take the relationship seriously. You are likely to make sacrifices for one another without even thinking twice.

Conjunction Mars - Mars: Your levels of action, desire, and sexuality are compatibly matched in what should prove to be a very lively relationship. Both you and Mark are assertive and willing to go after what you want. Your competitive natures and desire for self-expression are focused on mutual interests and goals. The competitiveness in your relationship is likely positive and healthy. You might also need to be active with one another, as excess energy may turn sour if not channeled well. Allowing one another the freedom to pursue separate interests is also important.

Sextile Saturn - Lunar node: You help each other achieve your ambitions.

Cons

Opposition Sun - Mercury: You become aware of ideas you may never have thought of on your own. You find yourself defending your point of view in most of your conversations. You have different opinions, different perspectives which causes misunderstandings. However, you can learn a lot from each other. Don’t force your opinions on each other and learn what you can from each other.

Square Mercury - Saturn: It can be a real challenge to simply get your point across. There can be a serious tone to your conversations that impedes a natural flow of communication. Your conversations may be dominated by negativity and criticism at times. You may feel belittled or childish in his presence, finding him too practical and overly critical.

Square Mars - Uranus: He opens up your mind to new ways of doing things. These planets are very adventurous so this relationship will be very stimulating. However, he may try to push you too far out of your comfort zone. He helps you become more expressive and less reserved. Be careful not to boss him around as your mars is bound to do because he won’t appreciate it much.

Opposition Mars - Saturn: You feel like you are constantly judged. He may make you feel childish and attempt to control you. He may criticize everything you do, from the way you behave to the way you dress. It is very hard to overcome this aspect as the more you try to assert yourself the more disapproving he becomes. This relationship easily becomes a living hell.

Overall: A relationship that developed quickly and is very exciting and stimulating. There is a strong sense of competitiveness between you two, which will be healthy or unhealthy depending on how mature both of you are. There may be some communication issues and it may be hard to understand where the other person is coming from time to time. 

I hope you like it! Feel free to request again at any time~

[violet-bookmark]

Lady knight, by L-J Baker

After Shadow of the knife I still was in the mood for literature inspired by ye olde medieval times, but for some reason Rangers at Roadsend was not doing it for me. I am not a quitter and I will definitely review that book soon (at least before the end of this year) but this time I needed something more chivalric and gritty, but with a happy ending to not end up dead inside like with SOTK.

Enter Lady Knight. This is a story about a female knight who is struggling to make a living and is forced to hire her sword to dishonourable lords who are complete assholes, since no reputable order would take her because she is female. She is very cool, gender non conforming and amazing, and not gonna lie, she had my heart from the first page (Riannon marry me pls). She is also ailed by a mysterious poison/supernatural power that seeped into her body via some wounds she took from a magical sword in a past war in Vahl, which almost kill her at times, until her cousin Aveline, naer of a religious order, entrusts her with a magical sword of her own who seals the demonic power inside her and prevents it from killing her as long as she keeps the sword close.

Aveline was interesting, but a complete asshole at the begging. I liked the scenes where she was talking with the goddess, since they were very mythical and immersive, but she treated the women she slept with like dirt. There was a moment in which she just had sex with a priestess and she thought something like "this woman's ambitions will probably never go further than an orgasm", which speaks for itself about what kind of person she is. She was also quite fond of crusading against infidels, which was historically accurate, but I still hated it. I liked how she cared for Riannon in her own way, how ambitious she was and how she knew what she had to do to obtain what she wanted.

Before diving into the character of Eleanor, Riannon's love interest, I want to adress something that bothers me immensely about how some people interpret her. A long time ago, before I even had this book, I read some reviews about it in which she was described as "straight" and talked about as if she was an insipid character. Not the case. She is obviously bisexual: she expresses past interest in men, but she is also the one to show interest in Riannon and to pursue her, and there are so many times in which she talks about her newfound attraction to women in a relatable way for same-sex attracted women. She also wants to reciprocate during the sex scenes and talks about how much she wants to see Riannon's breasts, to touch her vulva and to perform oral sex on her, which does not sound straight in the slightest. How can anybody read these scenes and think "oh yeah, this character is straight"? Every time I was reading one of their scenes together, I kept thinking about how damn obvious it was that she was not. She is bisexual! She is also very interesting, compassionate and smart; a social butterfly who is well aware of the limitations that society imposes on women, but who also knows that in order to gain freedom she needs to follow the rules to a certain extent (and to keep paying a hefty price of coin to the queen for her right to remain a widow, instead of being sold in marriage as a prize to one of the queen's male vassals). She was also quick to emphatize with other women and to try to make things better for them in unpleasant situations (there is a scene in which her teenage niece is getting married to a much older man, and she comforts her to the best of her ability before the wedding night, remembering when she was younger and in the same situation as her) and she was just a lovely person all around. She was my favorite character along with Riannon, and I shipped them so much. I joked before about marrying Riannon, but if I could choose I would probably want to BE like Riannon and marry Eleanor, she is that great.

The romance was very well done, very romantic in a medieval-esque way, very sweet and very healthy, something that I was grateful for after the sucker punch that was SOTK in that regard. Both lovers treated each other as equals and accepted each other despite their differences; at first I half expected Eleanor to be horrified by Riannon's masculine appearance, but she was not. Unlike the 99% of the characters (the 1% being Aveline), who treat Riannon like dirt for being gender non comforming, she was curious and accepted her and never thought she was weird or bad, or that she had to change. Riannon also saw more to Eleanor than other people did; the majority of men and women only saw her as a rich, beautiful widow good either to bed or to use as a pawn for their plans, while Riannon treated her as a person with interests, personality, wants and desires.

The author had obviously done her research about social strata, languages and traditions, something that I appreciated a lot and made the world building feel very cohesive and realistic, and a lot more medieval than in SOTK. By the way the characters talk and think you can just feel they are from another time, used to another kind of life and bound to different moral codes. I loved that. Only thing I would complain about (which is a BIG pet peeve of mine) is how what I assume to be the equivalent of Ireland in the story was named Iruland. I have done some research and from what I can tell that was never the name of Ireland, not even during any medieval period, so why? I know the author probably wanted us to be able to identify it as the equivalent of Ireland, but just changing a letter of the name to do that is lazy writing in my opinion. She could have done that in other ways, like showing cultural and historical similarities to Ireland or just saying "Ireland" and calling it a day if she did not want to go through the effort of expanding on world building. It was like when, in The Golden compass, the equivalent of the romani people in that world were called "giptians" (in my country's original language it was worse, they did the same as this book and only added a damn letter to "gypsies"). Why would you do that? It was especially jarring in TGC, since there were already another ton of cultural cues pointing to the "giptians" being a (lazily done) equivalent of the romani people, why didn't Phillip Pullman give them another name? To this day this question haunts me, and I resent this book for reminding me of it.

I liked this book's approach to magic. I liked how it felt mystic yet very medieval-like, not flashy, notorious and easy to control like in other types of fantasy, and in some scenes you did even wonder if it was magic at all what was happening. This is my favorite type of magic in fantasy, I am not keen on the type that is flashy and easy to master, like in Harry Potter (I can like a saga despite of that, but still), so I loved that. It felt very much like "invisible forces that humans can never control completely despite their well-organized rituals, and work in mysterious but undeniable ways", which is my favorite type ever of how to depict magic.

I enjoyed the plot and the political maneuverings a lot and wish we actually got to see more of that, it actually had a lot of potential and could have spanned for several books. More boring YA books have made it to a trilogy with less plot. A lot of interesting stuff was going on but the romance took precedence, and a lot of elements that could have been more explored got swept under the rug. I get it; it is a romance book and a lesbian one to boot, so it is "niche", but a second book would have been great to resolve some elements that were left open in the first book. The ending is hopeful and kind of open, but it was not the type of book in which an open ending makes sense. I might be biased here, but I would have liked a closed ending, since so much was left in the air: did Aveline succeed in her plans? What happened with Cicely? And the baby? Will the magic sword always have its power? Aveline saw a vision at the begining of the book, but will it happen at the end of the war? There is too much left untold. More than anything, I also wanted to see Riannon and Eleanor living together happily until they reached old age. I get the author was trying to send the message that homosexual love always faces hardships in an intolerant society and that there is always hope, but I wanted to see more of the two women being happy, especially since the chapter before the ending was so heartwrenching. I won't spoil anything but a character is raped, the rapist is killed in the next chapter in a very befitting way, but still. The aftermath was very hard to read.

I recommend this book if you like political intrigue and gritty storylines similar to Game of Thrones, but not that sadistic and with more focus on female characters and more female empowerment. In fact, if I had to describe this book with a single phrase it would probably be "the lesbian game of thrones, minus the dragons and more realistic all around". However, if you are not in the mood for holy wars, violence, magic swords and ye olde medieval misogyny, give it a hard pass.

[ziracona]

Loved the new chapter!!!! Every time u write a ship u get me so invested in it omg bc u write it out and it's not forced or sudden and u write the characters so well shdhsjfn I love u. Keep writing forever pls hhhh Every morning and every night I'm reloading the page to see if theres an update bc it cheers me up reading what you write Ty for this beautiful thing ily forever omg -shy anon

Thank you, that’s so sweet! I’m really glad you like the way I do ships especially—I work really hard to try to make the relationships realistic and very healthy/good for both parties involved, and I’m so glad you enjoy the result! 💙

I intend to keep writing, and thank you for the encouraging works—it means a ton! Especially that it cheers you up. If it’s making someone’s life even a little bit genuinely better, it’s doing everything I hoped it would. Thank you again shy anon I appreciate you and you’re wonderful! 😊😊💙