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#pls dont read this if ik u
hinamie · 2 months
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binding vow
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#done....collapses#up until 3am last night n sitting fr another 8 hours today to finish....#g o d#the things i do fr him.....#let it no longer b said that i only do elaborate paintings rife with symbolism tht feature gojo. megu my one true muse#as is Correct and Just#real talk tho i was just sketching th things i wanted to include without giving much thought to the Themes#w the exception being the spider lilies lmao I Know What Those Mean#but i ended up with a REALLY good life/death/marriage/loyalty thing going on????#w the lotus/spider lily being purity+rebirth/death#((not 2 mention 'far from the one he loves' like HELLO?????))#also w the temari balls being associated w femininity but having him dressed in groom's attire#like???? 90% unplanned but i ended up both cooking And eating#also happy 2 report that betta fish were kinder 2 me than the koi were :) no trouble from these lil guys#in fact everything abt this piece kind of came easily beyond the initial colour swatch??#thank u fr being an easy subject megu ilysm im sorry abt all the death imagery i dont mean it pls focus instead on th Life imagery :((((#i put a ring on it so u gotta wake up.....cant leave yuuji @ th altar ....#SPEAKING OF THE RING IK ITS ON THE RIGHT HAND we've been over this and its Okay#if i read a single comment .........#sorry 2 that one person who was like 'the next binding vow better be at itfs' wedding' ik this probably wasnt what u meant#but it did inspire me smile :)#anyway i need 2 stop looking at this its been over 24 hours
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saturnniidae · 6 months
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"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.
To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.
To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.
To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.
(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)
Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.
#THE PARALLEL GHSSHRBFK THE PARALLELS#'so everything in the ring was a trick? a lie?' he was so elated when he though hiccup was finally taking after him#he convinced himself so hard that This was the real hiccup he's finnaly going to be a proper viking a real member of the tribe#and he was so proud and glad he finally had something he could connect with his son over#but again he'd convinced himself of all that. he completely ignored everything hiccup had to say#in his eagerness to actually be a Family to actually bond with his child#he was so stuck with this fake image of Hiccup the Dragon Slayer he'd convinced himself of to the point#when it all fell through he felt almost betrayed#betrayed and scared#scared he made a horrible irrational and emotionally charged decision of essentially disowning his son#im not saying stoicks a good parent. hes not. but hes trying and alone and taking care of an entire village as well as hiccup#and all the unprocessed trauma and emotional repression#hes not great but hes not bad either. hes trying.#hes trying and its not enough but at least it got better#i love stoick#parents of autistic kids they dont understand moment#httyd#stoick the vast#stoick haddock#hiccup haddock#valka haddock#httyd analysis#maybe?#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#haddock family#moth.txt#also pls dont tell me abt how valka and the 2nd movie wasnt planned yet. ik that but i like expanding on things#and pondering a characters reasoning for certain decisions bc its fun and makes them all the more fascinating#post rewatch 1am thoughts go crazy (sorry if any of this is like redundant or confusing. im tired) if u read the tags ily
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pup-pee · 9 months
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so i have a problem & its called rereading this fic i just quickly doodled these 2 thingss but ill prolly make an actual piece bc i think about this a lot
sunshine. falling.
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u can decide which part of the convo theyre on kfjsdh
gift 4 @radioactive-earthshine
HERES THE FIC AGAIN BC I REALIZE THE LINK MIGHT NOT LINK? ignore mefjksdh\
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((idk y the quality is so badfjsdgf BUT THE DIALOUGE WAS CUTE OK ik part of it was from superboy & the ravers (#7) but just ok just))
this is like a couple weeks old @ this point idk y i never posted it
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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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bunnyboy-juice · 6 months
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LMAOOOOO YOU'RE FCUKING KIDDING MEEEEEE
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sundial-girl · 1 year
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vFlwoer...you know teh ourple one...
ourple...
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My favorite song of theirs
ok i'm actually gonna be real i don't listen to that much flower 😭😭😭 SORRY. but the songs i have listened to are good she slays
i think given my blog theme though it's pretty obvious which is my fave flower song
Who I ship them with
OK SEE ITS COMPLICATED FOR HER im so torn 😭😭
ig(??) i do still for the most part think she's sapphic/has a preference for girls, and b/c of a friend my main thing was flowerin. i do like them v much and think abt them, they're cute. BUT a different friend of mine ships fukaflower and that's also really grown on me. BUT b/c of the internet and other mutuals too i've seen pikase and that's cute as hell too. so my mind somehow condensed that into the THREE OF EM (flower, fukase, piko) but i dont even know what tf i'd call that; its not entirely romantic but also not entirely platonic, something is going on and its made infinitely more complicated w/ how they all interact differently depending on what fucking timeline story thing we're in. and again flower & rin is also cute and flower has other cute ships too and AJKSDKJKJKJ 😭
i'll just say tho that the good thing about having several different story things where different things happen is i can do whatever i want and everyone can b happy. the bad thing is i end up overthinking it and also i have a tendency to not give the characters in my stories happy endings
My favorite part about their design
well for one i like how she has so many designs i think its funny lmaoo
v3 and v4 are my faves sooo... i do like the dress & longer hair of v3 actually, i feel its more like, actual flower-like so it fits (and maybe im a bit based b/c that's the design she had when i first vaguely knew abt her). but v4 is iconic, undoubtedly. its the first design that pops into my head when people say flower. i really like how its more ourple since her v3 is more like... black? hksjghkj. i like her striped armwarmer thing its quite funky. solid designs but theyre hard asf to draw imma be real 😭 i can never get them quite right
ALSO i know people dont like ci b/c she doesn't look like flower, but funnily enough i do kinda like that. the sorta uncanny valleyness, b/c u know its supposed to be flower and it vaguely does have some resemblance but its also not and something feels wrong. again though that might just be me b/c of how i twist that for narrative purposes and i have a lot of fun w/ angst shit regarding ciflower but sjkjdhjkshkjhakjhg
A random headcanon I have of them
you know those memes about people cutting/dying their hair after a mental breakdown? yeah that's her 😂😭
i don't think she actually dyes it, it's naturally that peppered white/black color sorta, but she does impulsively do shit to her hair sometimes, not necessarily when she is distressed but she has def done it as "distraction" from negative emotions going on. luckily there's some sorta thing going on that lets her grow her hair back really fast in case she fucks up, so she can test out as many hairstyles as she wants whenever basically. she does think fucked up hairstyles are really funny tho. probably once shaved her entire head just b/c she could
name a vocaloid in my askbox and i'll tell you stuff
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caruliaa · 2 years
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yes offense actually but like "uuhmm this trans headcanon doesnt make SENSE though" has always been one of just. the most inane takes in fandom ever like. assuming the person making it is someone whos otherwise an ally to trans people/not transphobic (just because with people who are transphobic that an issue thats obviously much bigger than just fandom stuff) whyy !! do you give a shit !!! like why !!! like bla bla i understand if you dont think the idea of that character being trans makes sense or you think something is canon contradicts it or you dont think its in character whatever it is you dont have to hc them as trans if you dont see them as trans you can even talk about how you think theyre cis if you want but like. its literally not hard to just not treat people who do have those trans headcanons as if theyre wrong or that their interpretation of the character is stupid/something to be mocked or act as though your superior for not reading them that way like. even if that doesnt come from a place of transphobia you will inevitably read that way to some people and regardless like. who gives a shit if someone is seeing themselves within a character/reading that character the way they want to esp in regards to a group of people with such a pitiful lack of positive representation as trans people. like get over yourself
#^^^^^ what my last post was about. i told u it wld b very obvious tht these ppl were in the wrong#(and i wonder why i was afraid to have any opinion on this show around these mutual in laws. jfc)#anyway like. please read this and like. consider it esp if you know who im talking about bc i feel like they received very little pushback#for acting that way and like. im not saying go give them that pushback do whatever u want im j saying pls consider tht that attitude#is wrong and like. You Should Not Mock Trans Headcanons as basic as that feels to say#sorry if im being like. mean or harsh or whatever tihs is just something i see as so like. fucked like why r acting that way !!!#abt trans ppl seeing themselves in characters they like !!! bc a lot of the time thats the 'reason' behind these trans hcs !!!l#i feel like my mutuals who arent from [REDACTED] fandom r gonna see this and b like what kind of ppl did u have to deal w and yk what#if i keep thinking about it ill start being mad at someone other than them who i really dont want to b mad at abt this again so lets move o#anyway this post is okay to rb btw its not just meant to b abt the ppl im kinda vauging#bc ik this is a phenomena in many fandoms and its just stupid. and downright cruel once it reaches mocking ppl#so feel free to ignore me nd j rb this and go of about ppl being stupid in whatever fandom ur in in the tags#let of some steam god knows i have plenty to let of thinking abt tihs phenomena. anyway time to be normal hopefully.#flappy rambles
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shatteredfears-arch · 2 years
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…. ANYWAYS since ill be semi back from my semi hiatus now just like, if ur using beta or legacy for ur starters or whatever and want me to reply a certain way. just like. tell me lol. i mean sometimes if u post in legacy tumblr will literally not let me reply in legacy and forces the beta, but not always, so just like lemme know and i’ll reply in the editor u used if tumbs lets me, and if not then u letting me kno which u used tells me to let u kno that it didnt let me reply in the one u used if i got to. no need to like, hate each other lol
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simplyjake · 8 months
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Enha hyungs w / idol!reader !!
summary: tbh its pretty self explanitory, fem!reader
a/n guys maybe at one point ill write for maknae line but also idk so dont hold me to it, not proof-read
Heeseung
Let’s say ur in aespa
So rmbr the drama challenge they did
Instead of winter it was you and karina right
OUUUU ik he was giggling when you asked him to do the challenge with you
At the end of the challenge he puts his arm around u 
He looks at u like you hung the stars one by one
Heeseung pls this is gonna be posted later
ITS WORSE AT AWARD SHOWS
When you are on screen performing 
He has the biggest heart eyes and a slight smile pls
Its like he dgaf if yall get caught
Definitely interacts with you in public when he can
He wants to see all those ship edits
Invites you to his concerts and you invite him to yours
Once bought like 500 albums so he can get all of ur pcs and inclusions
Ur honor he was being silly!
And in luv w you!!!
Jay
Okay stayc member i see u
He learns how to play ur songs on guitar
Such a cute supportive bf
You guys have sm matching things tgt
Phone cases, hats, jewelry and more
Surprisingly no one has caught on yet.
He lurks on stayc twt for updates when hes away on tour
Even tho he can just text u himself
You accidentally left your jay signed album in the open on live
EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT
“Omfg yall since when did y/n and jay know each other”
” Wait but the signed album? Do yall rmbr when we caught them w matching hats but no one batted an eye WHAT ABT THIS”
Call jake for the dating rumor damage control selfie
Anyways he has all ur albums and you have all his
He found out you voted for him during Iland days and sobbed
Staycs number 1 fan, will fight ANYONE for that title
JAKE
Worse than heeseung when it comes to hiding things
Oh lord here we go
“My girl- i mean my friend” its rover.
On live streams he uses this to promote your group without looking suspicious 
“Have you guys heard le sserafims comeback? It’s so good”
“Oh Y/n? Yeah her part was amazing as well”
When he sings your part of the song it has u blushing on the other end of the phone
Once you were on a live, you forgot to let jake know
You were showing some photos that youre gonna post on instagram and all of a sudden
Is this love by Bob Marley aka the ringtone you have for jake
And his contact name “yunie<3” pops up
Quickly you decline the call and look sheepishly to the camera
Hoons time to do the selca damage control.
He accidentally liked a y/njake post on twt on the main acc tho
Ruh roh 
Sunghoon
Definition of nonchalant 
Nonchalant king if u will
Well besides that one time when he was mcing
And your group purple kiss was with him and wony
He was definitely getting side eyed by the fandom after sending you quick glances and a smile!!
Other than that baby hes an illusion
He dont know you
Well at least to the cameras, he doesnt know you
Otherwise hes the sweetest bf to ever bf
Sends you flowers to your dressing room after performances
Always claps whenever you guys win an award
Once a camera was pointed on him at an award show during your song
But he pointed to ur group telling them to focus on yall instead
UGH i love supportive bf hoon!!
Ofc your one of enhas biggest supporters as well
No one knows this but you have a secret sunghoon fan acc
He thinks its cute, a way to publicly say u love him
Without it actually being public yk
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bvidzsoo · 4 months
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)
ー☆ Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)
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Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 9.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380
⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩
♫Playlist♫
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Later that day
I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?
I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.
Friday (11:30 am)
I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)
Friday (12:50 pm)
I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)
Friday (15:26 pm)
I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)
My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.
            Saturday (9:09 am)
I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)
            Saturday (17:40 pm)
I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?
I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.
“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.
“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.
“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.
“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.
“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.
“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.
But I couldn’t.
            Sunday (1:01 am)
I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?
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『When you came along, I knew what was wrong
If you want to know exactly what I've missed』
            Monday (present time)
            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.
I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.
“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”
“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”
“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”
Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.
“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.
“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.
“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”
“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.
“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”
“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.
“Promise?”
“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”
“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.
“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.
“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”
“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”
“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”
I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”
“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.
“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.
“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”
“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”
“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.
“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.
The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.
And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.
“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.
“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.
“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”
“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”
“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.
“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”
“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.
“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”
“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.
“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”
“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”
“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”
“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”
When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”
“Can we stop talking about Min—”
“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.
“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.
“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.
“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—
“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”
“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.
“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”
“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”
“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.
“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.
“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.
“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.
“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”
A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.
“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.
            Monday (16:58 pm)
I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))
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            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!
And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.
As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.
Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?
“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”
And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  
“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”
“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”
“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”
I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”
“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”
“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.
“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.
“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”
“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.
“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.
“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”
“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.
“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.
“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.
“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”
“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.
“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.
“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.
“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.
“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”
“It was my idea to come here—”
“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”
Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”
“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.
“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.
“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.
I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.
“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.
“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.
“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.
“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”
“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”
“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.
“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.
“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”
“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.
“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.
“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.
“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”
I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”
“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.
“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”
“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.
            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.
“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.
“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.
“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”
“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.
“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”
“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.
“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”
“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.
“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”
“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”
“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”
“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”
Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”
Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.
“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”
When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”
“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”
Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.
“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”
There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?
“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.
“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”
“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.
“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”
“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”
“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”
“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”
“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.
“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.
“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”
“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”
“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.
“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”
When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.
“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.
I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.
“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”
“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.
“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’
I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.
“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.
“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.
“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.
“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.
“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.
“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.
“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”
“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.
“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.
I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.
Have I started falling for Song Mingi?
『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
You're what I've been chasing
Show me where my days went』
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❱❱ Next chapter
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so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))
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I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol
also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^
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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months
Text
ough.
#personal#vent#how the hell do you ask a friend group for reassurance without feeling like a disgusting manipulative piece of shit for asking#bc i know my brain is being mean and i KNOW reassurance would do wonders for me rn#and like ik I could send a picture of myself or a meme or something to Get Attention#but i dont want General Attention#i want to know my friends love me and cherish me and actively want to speak to me and shit#i want to know i matter to them Explicitly bc words are super important to me esp when most of my friends are so far away from me#but asking explicitly like “can i get reassurance” feels bad. asking “yall dont hate me right” feels bad#it all feels manipulative (derogatory) and all i can hear in my head is my mother and ex both telling me how horrible i am for wanting+#+anyone to care and tell me like. explicitly bc “i should just know” or whatever#i just want to know i take up even a tiny bit of space in their minds and hearts#ugh this feels pathetic esp cause i know I'm like generally loved#my brain just keeps telling me recently that people only want to be my friend either to get in my pants to get in my wife's pants or so i-#-can be their Mommy-ATM ): and i know thats not real this is my insecurities speaking#I just. hrrrrrrrrrg#hatred myself rn for even feeling this way#if ur reading this and we're friends u can send reassurance but pls know if i dont answer it doesnt mean im mad at you or anything#im just kind of skittish with this shit
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Text
luxiem x reader || them on your wedding day
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a/n : i got rlly bored and honestly luxiem is my life support sooooo headcanons abt how luxiem would be like on yalls wedding day
anyways HAVE FUN PLS TELL ME IF I SCREW UP FORMATTING OR SMTH LOL
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SHU YAMINO
would be the type to look calm before the wedding but fucking lose his shit when he sees you walking down that aisle
tears streaming down his face kind of crying, but then hides it when you get up to the front
'you may now kiss the bride' he would absolutely start tearing up again before kissing you
GIRL WHEN I TELL YOU RECEPTION WOULD BE LIT
magic tricks. thats all im gonna say. i dont know.
i feel like he'd be the type to lead ur first dance and whisper sweet shit while dancing
would be one of those people who starts crying during father-child dance
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LUCA KANESHIRO
cute nervous smile when he sees you walking up that aisle
he would so be looking at you with puppy dog eyes
I JUST KNOW HE WOULD HAVE ONE OF HIS MAFIA MEN AS HIS GROOMSMEN JUST SO WHEN THE OFFICIATOR SAYS "if there are any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace", THAT ONE GUY WOULD GO UP BY THE FRONT AND FLASH A GUN AT THE AUDIENCE
YK FOR GOOD MEASURE
yall would probably laugh (except for maybe a poor soul who was going to object)
WHEN I SAY HES GOOD AT DANCING, HES ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY BAD AT IT
will accidentally trip on your foot
but will hide it ever so gracefully
mistugetsu un deux trois [help i cant spell]
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IKE EVELAND
dawg he would dead ass be tearing up
hes trying his best not to cry but just ends up tearing up by the end
HE WILL PURPOSEFULLY CHANGE HIS LINES DURING YALLS MARRIAGE TO BE MORE "POETIC" [hes just a tryhard novelist]
hes actually good at dancing??? surprisingly??
hes defo living his romance novel life
WILL DO. EVERYTHING. THAT HE WRITES IN HIS FLUFFY ROMANCE NOVELS. TO YOU.
all those times he wrote dances within his novels, YEAH HE'S GONNA DO ONE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING DAY [bonus points if the dance is in a book with a self insert of him and you]
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MYSTA RIAS
MY MANS WOULD BE BAWLING
LIKE UR GONNA HAVE TO COMFORT HIM UP AT THE FRONT
he'd be really emotional about it, and we love that [NO HATE OK WE LOVE EMOTIONAL MEN]
he would definitely hug you when yall kiss
HE PRACTICED FOR DAYS FOR UR FIRST DANCE TOGETHER
HE DIDNT WANNA ACCIDENTALLY FUCK UP
hes defintely getting a LITTLE tipsy during reception
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VOX AKUMA
SEXY MAN
the only one who wouldnt tear up honestly, like he'd just smile sweetly while u walk up the aisle
he would be SMITTEN while the officiator talks
just looking at you with the sweetest goddamn look a demon can muster
what do yall expect
he obviously knows how to dance, AND WELL AND ELEGANTLY
would be by your side THE WHOLE TIME IN RECEPTION
hand on waist, motherfucker AINT LETTING YOU GO [unless he had to, and ONLY if he had to]
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a/n: ty for reading :D THIS IS MY FIRST HEADCANON THING BUT LIKE YEAH [im biased with ike ok im sorry LMAO]
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whyse7vn · 10 months
Text
SHIPPED -
[ot7 x reader]
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TAEHYUNG -
tae: pop quiz should i kill myself?
y/n: please
tae: knew it
you fucking hate me and you ARE in love with that mingi guy
y/n: mingi
tae: it’s okay baby no need to apologise i know how crazy fans can get and i know you love me and me ONLY
not mingi
come here let’s cuddle (fuck)
y/n: k
tae: wait 😭😭😭
baby you forgot you apologise
y/n: for what
tae: mingi
they are shipping you with mingi
i can’t even say his name
y/n: you’ve said his name like four times already
tae: ok but i threw up every time
y/n: but you still said his name?
tae: what is your problem
y/n: i miss mingi i’m sorry
i get mad when i don’t see my man for a while
tae: aw babe 🥰
come over
y/n: did you even read what i said?
tae: i’m depressed
y/n: cool don’t care ur not mingi
tae: i could be
y/n: no you couldn’t
tae: ok but
y/n: but?
tae: nothing
y/n: that’s what i thought
loser
tae: don’t call me that
yk it gets me hot and bothered
y/n: are you horny or depressed
tae: don’t ask me stupid questions wtf
ofc i’m horny 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
do you want to fuck?
say yes
y/n: saying no
tae: ok wtf
you really are with mingi aren’t you
y/n: yeah
tae: babe
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ur changing i can’t stand this my heart can’t take this damage and the way i feel can’t stand this mmmmm baby i don’t understand this
y/n: did you just sing xxxtentacion lyrics to me
tae: he gets me
y/n: ok
tae: you don’t get me
y/n: thank god
tae: ok now say omg tae ur the only one for me not that moji guy
y/n: moji?
tae: motor?
y/n: ?
tae: mistletoe????
y/n: what
tae: minion
y/n: mingi?
tae: mitochondria
y/n: mingi.
tae: microscope
y/n: it’s mingi
tae: no i think it’s misconstruction
y/n: what do you want from me rn
tae: tell miscarriage to fuck off
y/n: i literally met him once
tae: so???
he wants you
i know it
all the shippers know it
and all these STUPID edits know it
delete his number now
y/n: i don’t even have his number
tae: oh
ok then
y/n: yeah
tae: so like
y/n: don’t ask me anything stupid
tae: thoughts on iceland banning the colour green
y/n: you just made that up
why
ur so strange
tae: babe can i sing for you again
ik u love it when i sing
y/n: leave me alone tae
tae: do you let michael sing to you???
not jackson btw
cuz he’s like dead
y/n: would you like to join him
tae: mingloo or michael jackson???
pls be more specific babe
hey
where did you go
seen?????
ur leaving me on seen are you fr????
ok at least it’s not delivered
or a block like last time
ur real mean yk
at least i know my worlds are getting to you
now let me sing ok?
it might seem crazy what i am 'bout to say
sunshine she's here you can take a break
i'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
ok why did my messages go green
oh
i’m blocked
again
hahahahahaha
cheating fuck
FUCK YOU AND MINTY
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SEOKJIN -
jin: the way i don’t even care
y/n: what
jin: i don’t care
y/n: idk this song i’m sorry
jin: i’m not singing
y/n: oh
jin: can he cook
y/n: who
jin: ur mc buddy
y/n: minghao?
jin: yeah
ur new boyfriend can he cook better than me?
no nvm
don’t tell me i don’t even care
not one bit not even two bits
y/n: okay?
jin: no it’s not ok
what about this is ok
OH WOW UR NEW BOYFRIEND IS 26 I DONT EVEN CARE
y/n: why are you shouting at me
jin: I DON’T CARE
LOOK AT ME DOES IT LOOK LIKE I EVEN CARE
y/n: lowkey
jin: he can’t cook
look at his fingers they look weak
a man with weak fingers can’t cook
y/n: ur so right
jin: yeah i know
so can he cook?
y/n: idk babe
jin: why don’t you know
y/n: because i don’t
jin: he’s your man says twitter
you should know these things
y/n: is this you jealous rn?
jin: i don’t even care what are you talking about
y/n: my fault i thought you cared for a second
jin: well i don’t
do you have his number
y/n: yeah
jin: don’t care
y/n: u sure?
jin: whatever man
he was weak fingers
he looks like he has a lisp does he have a lisp?
y/n: no??
jin: yes he does
stupid lispy bitch
y/n: SEOKJIN DONT BE MEAN
lisps are cute
jin: do you like his lisp?
bet you wanna kiss him every time he speaks
bet he’s all like “i theriously thlipping love thew” all in ur ear
and u blush so bad
y/n: LAMSOSOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
jin: i don’t care take ur 26 year old lisp bitch
y/n: all this because of a few stupid shippers?
jin: he looks at you a lot
and you look at him
A LOT
there are so many videos
you look at him like you wanna get him pregnant
y/n: what the fuck
jin: you should only look at me like that
y/n: i’m sorry????
jin: i don’t care for your sorry
or this situation
or that ur new man is 26
i don’t CARE
y/n: ok baby
jin: if i smoked i would light a cigarette rn
y/n: i believe you
jin: good
would be like a chain smoker rn
y/n: i believe you baby
jin: and i’m not talking about that little emo band thing or whatever
y/n: didn’t think you were
jin: me
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cuz i’m i’m a chain smoker in spirit
y/n: !!!
jin: girlfriend
y/n: boyfriend
jin: ….
so like i’m gonna be honest
y/n: ok
jin: i do care
y/n: no way
jin: ik it’s hard to believe cuz i’m a good actor and all
y/n: naturally
jin: but wow why is he looking at you like he needs to be inside of you
y/n: ok ew?
jin: right i was thinking the same thing
y/n: why would you say that
jin: WHY WOULD HE LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAt?????????
y/n: let’s end this conversation
jin: let’s end his life
y/n: gn jin
jin: think about it
y/n: no
jin: when he looks at you do you feel uncomfortable
y/n: i’m uncomfortable rn
jin: OHMYGOD IS HE WITH YOU
IS HE LOOKING????
BABE TELL ME
y/n: no
jin: i’m literally a chain smoker
in spirit
cuz smoking ages you
look at jungkook 26 looking 206
y/n: goodnight jin
jin: so is ur new man with u or not??
y/n: no jin
goodnight
jin: good i didn’t even care anyways
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YOONGI -
yoongi: fuck you
you know what you did
y/n: contrary to popular belief i am unfortunately not all knowing nor am i a mind reader
yoongi: kill yourself
y/n: full of love and joy today i see <3
yoongi: do you know
how may edits i’ve seen of that one clip of you and soobin
why is he smiling so hard at you???
tf is his issue
ur not fucking funny at all trust me i know
and you look really good
why are you looking good around other people???
and WHY did you touch him
and why the fuck did he blush so hard?
you need to kill yourself it’s the only option
y/n: strange way of telling me ur deeply in love with me but i’ll take it
yoongi: kill yourself
y/n: WAIT WDYM IM NOT FUNNY
yoongi: am i laughing rn?
y/n: okay that’s not how being funny works
it comes naturally
yoongi: naturally it doesn’t come to you and that’s fine
y/n: yes it does
soobin thinks i’m funny
and so does everyone else
yoongi: soobin doesn’t count cuz he’s a loser
he was also looking at ur tits the whole time i would be smiling if ur tits were in my face too
and everyone else? yeah shut up
ur not funny and that’s ok
y/n: HE WAS NOT
just ur a sick pervert doesn’t mean every man i come into contact is as well
soobin is a nice respectful young man
and are you trying to say my only personality trait is my tits????
that’s real fucked up actually!!!
yoongi: i mean it’s not ur humour thats for sure
y/n: and you think ur comedian of the year?
yoongi: i pull my weight
y/n: YOONGI
baby
babe
be fr
i’m the funny one in this relationship and that’s ok
your good at other things
yoongi: that’s crazy
we must be a really unfunny couple then yikes
y/n: what is ur beef?
yoongi: you and soobin
y/n: soobin is a baby to me
there is no me and soobin
yoongi: yeah ok
he’s 6 ft yk?
y/n: i know
stood next to him
yoongi: did you compare hand sizes
y/n: are you calling me a whore?
yoongi: is he funny?
y/n: yoongi
yoongi: is he funnier than me??
y/n: no yoongi
yoongi: wow that’s insane thought i wasn’t funny??????
soobin must have the personality of a fucking rock then
y/n: rolling my eyes real hard rn
yoongi: is he a good kisser?
y/n: ok now ur being ridiculous
yoongi: you touched his arm
y/n: he’s suit was fucked up
yoongi: have you imagined him in a wedding suit
y/n: what
yoongi: was his skin soft when you touched him
y/n: again he was wearing suit didn’t feel his skin at all
yoongi: bet you wanted to
y/n: ur impossible actually
incoming FaceTime call from yoongi :3
yoongi: answer me
y/n: are you going to apologise for telling me to kms
yoongi: no
want to see ur pretty face tho
answer pls
y/n: why would i answer after that
yoongi: pls
y/n: you want me so bad
yoongi: me or soobin?
y/n: …
yoongi: ok sorry
answer :3
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JUNGKOOK -
jk: hey can wonbin do a kick flip?
y/n: idk probably
jk: wkjsjsjxjdjswiiwskdkekekdkwkke KSSKXKSKSKSKCKDMDKDJDJSKDKKKWOQWOSODKDKSKDKDJEKDKDKSKDDKDKDKKDKSKDKDKDKDKKCKMDKDCDKDKDKKDKDKFDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKDKKDKDKDKDDJDKDKKDKDKDKDKSKDKDKDKDKDKKDKDKDDKKDDKDKDKFKDKDKDKAKS/@@:@;’ wmkdkdkdkdkd sskskdk kddkmdmdmdxm-@/29/929920//09/9/9:9
y/n: woah ok?
you don’t even skate why does this matter?
jk: exactly
y/n: i’m not following
jk: do you know his songs?
y/n: pulling back the sirennnnnnnnnnnn
jk:😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
y/n: ??
you literally asked me to? why are you crying
jk: do you have his number?
y/n: yeah
jk: /‘sjdjdjcjkdidfkckkdkfkdkdk&/&&/&/8/88/8/8/8/88/8818:’snn@2@:’dndn’dmn**$*****$\$$\$$€!!!!’annanjjjsnsnsndjxjxjjxjjxjzjj&/&:&:&/&7(7(7(7(&?&!@!@)&();6;6:5;7)&??,(:3-;:&)9!£0£@!&()::54:(,£,&?@£9£0&0£9£9£9)&(7;5:437)&££9&9)@(7(7(6(£?&!9&0@!’ b gxfxgxgstdgcnjhkbvkhnb hchdtsrdhchvkhopjpjojonobkvjbjvgihighij
y/n: jungkook…
jk: has he ever looked you in the eyes?
y/n: babe
jk: he has hasn’t he?
KILL ME NOWWWWWWWWEEWWWWWEJEJEJJEJEJWJWWWWENENEJEJEJNEJEJEENENNENNWJEJEJEJJEJWJEJEJEJEJEJEEJJWJWEJJEJWJWJWJWJEJEJEJENEJEJEJEJEJEJEJJEEJJEJEJJWJEJWJWJJWWJJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJWJJWJWNWNWNWNWWNWNWNWNWNWNWNENENNENENENENDNRNNRNDNNRNDNENENNENENENENENENENENNE
but can even sing?
y/n: yes kook
that is literally his job
jk: NOOSIEOSOSOOSOSOSOOOOO SNJSJSJDJDJSJSJDNMDNDMDNCMDMNDNDMDNDNDNDNDNDNNXJDJDN SNJSJSNDMDMDNDNDJDKXJDCJNXXNNCDNNXNXNX SJSJZKSJXNSJXJX JSJXMMXMX JXNXNDNNXNNDXNSNDN SJDJNDNXNXJXJX JSJXJXNXJCXJXJSISKS SJDJDJNDNDNDNDKNXXND NSJXJJDJXJDJD NJDJDJSJSJSJDJKDKDD DNDJKXKXKDXNXJX JSJDNDJDJSKISISOSKSKKS
there are so many tears in my eyes i can’t see
i cant think
i cant be
my left lung has given out and i’m losing hearing in both my ears
they are probably gonna have to amputate both my big toes and a couple fingers
it’s fading too black
baby
babe
pretty girl
can you hear me
do you care for me
did you ever care
did you even love me
y/n: jeon jungkook
jk: loml
y/n: get over it
jk: ok
y/n: ….
jk: i’m sorry
i love you
what even is a wonbin?
my biggest enemy in this life thats who
y/n: what happened to being sorry and over it?
jk: but babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
everyone is saying he’s like in love with you
and he can do a kick flip
what if you pick him
y/n: i said he could probably do a kick flip
not that he actually can
why does that even matter?
jk: cuz kick flips are cool
and bitch takeable
y/n: what
jk: he might pop a kick flip out of nowhere and steal you
i cant have that
y/n: learn how to kick flip then idk?
jk: BUT YOU TOOK MY SKATEBOARD AWAY
y/n: oh yeah i did
didnt you almost brake ur face?????
AND you kept riding it in the house
pretty reasonable of me
jk: so what ur saying that ur waiting for wonbin to kick flip in front of you
y/n: ?????????
no
jungkook i am not leaving u for wonbin
jk: you say that but when he drops the most sexiest panty dropping kick flip known to man right in front of you i’m gonna be left single and depressed
y/n: you are stressing me out
jk: can i have the skateboard back
y/n: no
jk: 😞
Y/n: i said no jungkook
jk: 😕
y/n: stop
jk: ☹️
y/n: fine whatever idk break all ur bones
jk: kick flip kook coming soon >.<
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JIMIN -
jimin: pretend i’m wonho for a second ok?
y/n: wonho?
jimin: yeah wonho
y/n: boob
jimin: hey lol ur really pretty 😍 😋❤️‍🔥 you should totally ditch that ugly lame excuse of a boyfriend you have (jimin) 🤢🤮 and come be my girl 💯🤗🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️
y/n: boob 🤤
jimin: be mine
y/n: show me ur tits
jimin: u fucking cheating bitch
y/n: wonho don’t be mean 😢
jimin: i am no longer wonho
i am jimin
y/n: lame
turn back
we want wonho
we want wonho
jimin: who is we
y/n: me and the voices in my head idk
jimin: even the voices not even fucking with me anymore???
ohmygod
the wonho shippers were right
y/n: what the shippers saying
jimin: “y/n just looks so bored with jimin” “did you see her smile when wonho was mentioned”
y/n: WAITTTT THEY SPITTING 🙏🏽🔥🔥🔥
jimin: do you know how insane that is
LIKE YOU LOOK BORED WITH ME
BABE LIKE THATS SO INSANE
y/n: ig u got to get ur funny up idk
jimin: do you understand how this is impacting my mental health
y/n: i like when their a bit insane dw 😍
jimin: i’m real fucking insane
i hear voices
constantly
they tell me to do things
i listen to jay park
you like that huh?
y/n: ok calm down i said a bit insane not jay park lover insane
wtf is wrong with you
jimin: are you bored
y/n: sorry what were you saying i almost felt asleep
jimin: i hope wonho treats you right
y/n: yk i’m tit level to wonho
isn’t that perfect
my face just all up in there
constantly
jimin: me and him are the same height?
y/n: ok but it’s more exciting with wonho
jimin: should i get a boob job???
y/n: please
jimin: WOW
the standards these days are insane
you were supposed to tell me my body is perfect the way it is
y/n: it is
jimin: wow ur so convincing!!!
y/n: i mean it fr fr babe love u body yk that
little tittes matter too
im for the cause!!!!!!!!!!
jimin: i came to you for love and reassurance
y/n: i think i provided
jimin: i’m gonna kill myself infront on wonho
so he’s traumatised
y/n: i did say i like them a bit insane
but whose to say he’ll go insane from watching YOU die????
jimin: excuse me?
y/n: i’m just saying
jimin: a lot of people would go insane from watching ME die
y/n: not wonho
jimin: you can never be too sure
y/n: no i’m sure
jimin: are you trying to find out rn???
y/n: do it
you won’t
jimin: do you love me be honest
y/n: the most
jimin: fucking simp lmao
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NAMJOON -
y/n: HIIIIIII JOONIE 😝😍
namjoon: hi
y/n: ????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
namjoon: ?
y/n: where is my “hi love”
where is the love
where is the life
not even a silly emoji???????????
who took my bitch
namjoon: death soon i hope
y/n: emo era joon omg?
namjoon: where are u rn?
y/n: some boba place with tae and kook
namjoon: oh
we’ve never gotten boba together
y/n: you don’t like boba joon??
namjoon: taste buds change??
y/n: we can go on a boba date tomorrow if you want?
namjoon: no
y/n: LAMOSOSK
ok babe
namjoon: yk people think ur fucking tae?
y/n: ew
namjoon: i’m not joking
like people think you’re cheating on me with tae
y/n: people always think i’m cheating
namjoon: yeah…
but like not with tae :/
and there isn’t always all these edits and stuff
people are even in our weverse talking about it
y/n: people are so silly
namjoon: yeah
why are you calling me?
y/n: why aren’t you answering?
namjoon: don’t want to interrupt ur date
y/n: my date???
namjoon: your date.
y/n: namjoon
namjoon: yeah
y/n: ur being silly
namjoon: in this clip ur looking at tae like he hung the all stars in the sky for you or something
y/n: get off twitter
namjoon: i’m gonna end my life
y/n: babe
namjoon: cheater 😔
y/n: jonnie r u jealous rn >.<
namjoon: i’m not jealous
y/n: what are you then?
namjoon: heartbroken?
sad
depressed
on the verge of suicide
y/n: tipsy?
namjoon: NO HAHA WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT??????
y/n: yeah thought so
this is a little out of character of you babe
kinda jungkook core idk
namjoon: did you just compare me to jungkook???????????????????????
do you want me to kill myself that bad
oh my god
are you fucking jungkook too??????
y/n: ?????
namjoon: is boba code for sex
y/n: no namjoon
namjoon: yeah ok
cheater 😞
after i learned what rizz was for you..
y/n: i’m am not fucking tae or jungkook my love
namjoon: was my rizz not good enough
y/n: are you listening to me joonie????
namjoon: it wasn’t was it
ofc it wasn’t
i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough
sorry i didn’t have enough rizz
i’m really sorry
y/n: namjoon
namjoon: no you know what
i really tried it wasn’t my fault
no one deserves to be cheated on like this
it’s all your fault
y/n: oh
namjoon: i’m guilt tripping you
y/n: what
namjoon: are you coming home now?
y/n: ???
namjoon: baby
y/n: you can’t tell someone ur guilt tripping them
that’s not how it works
namjoon: baby i’m not guilt tripping you
y/n: it’s too late now
i know what ur doing
namjoon: baby
y/n: wait…..
namjoon: waiting
y/n: no
ur not
namjoon: baby what’s wrong???
y/n: baby?
don’t tell me ur horny rn joon
namjoon: would that be so bad baby?
y/n: these mood swings??? insane actually
thought i was a cheater
now you wanna fuck???
namjoon: life is crazy
are you coming home???
or would you rather fuck taehyung instead
my fault
i’ll just go…
y/n: ur toxic
namjoon: ur a cheater
come home cheater
y/n: yeah yeah give me 20
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HOSEOK -
hobi: hawk putuh
ik ur awake
and i know you see these rumours
y/n: did you just fucking spit on me??
hobi: yeah and what
will do it again
hawk putuh
told you
i don’t lie in these parts of town
don’t enjoy it too much
flipping freak
y/n: what rumours
hobi: don’t ignore my second spit wtf
y/n: shut up
hobi: u trying to get drunk and nasty rn? 😝
y/n: ?no
hobi: no u right we supposed to be arguing
y/n: i’m always right
and why are we supposed to be arguing?
hobi: umm that’s NOT true
and people are literally shipping you with mingyu rn…
y/n: how is that my fault
hobi: WRONG ANSWER
hawk putuh
y/n: stop spitting on me
hobi: you like it
y/n: no i don’t
hobi: wow you’ve changed
you used to like it
did mingyu change you???
where is the y/n i know and love
where is my y/n who likes spit
you should never let a man change you
be who you are
and what who you are is my spit loving girlfriend so act like it
y/n: i have never let you spit on me
like ever
hobi: why is that ur focus rn
you should be denying the fact that you’ve changed for mingyu
y/n: i haven’t changed for mingyu and i don’t like spit leave me alone
it’s 2 am hoseok
hobi: why are they shipping you with him what the hell pretty 😞
i’m in my feels rn
feeling aju not fucking nice rn
y/n: cheer up
hobi: no
y/n: ok fuck you then
hobi: i bet mingyu is giggling and blushing and at all of these stupid edits
UGH
by bts
i’m sick to my stomach
y/n: get better
hobi: word on the street is head makes the pain go away
y/n: on the street by jhope ft jcole
hobi: would you give head to mingyu be honest
y/n: you don’t want my honesty right now…
hobi: i do
y/n: let’s just say
hobi: NVM
nvm
let’s not say anything
how about we just hold hands at look each other deeply in the eyes
y/n: i’m cool with that
hobi: are you cool with mingyu
y/n: cool with you by newjeans
hobi: me?
little old me >.<
y/n: always you
hobi: lol stop loveboming me wtf
y/n: yeah kys
about to give mingyu the sloppiest top known to man
hobi: mingyu doesn’t even like girls like you
y/n: girls like me???
hobi: yeah
i don’t need to explain i think you get it
y/n: are you calling me ugly rn…
hobi: you said it not me
y/n: ok
hobi: ok
y/n: hawk putuh
hobi: you didn’t….
y/n: i did
hobi: what fuck
y/n: yeah and what
hobi: what if i said
y/n: no
hobi: yeah
i enjoyed it real bad
do it again
let me catch it this time
😋
y/n: fuck off fuck you leave me alone
hobi: mingyu would never treat you like i do
y/n: i’m sold
tell mingyu i’m on my way
hobi: …
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies
lowkey hating joons and kooks but it’s okay better shit to come this just my warm up ong 🙏🏽💯🔥
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piercetheaspenn · 4 months
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INTRO ^_^
Haiii !! My name is Aspen :3 I’m a minor :P (idc if 18+ ppl follow me)
DISCLAIMER: if you’re commenting things like “get therapy” or making assumptions about me and my addiction as if you know me, you’re getting blocked. I don’t care what you have to say.
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This is my 3rd tumblr account lol. This acc is dedicated mostly to sh (im no longer working towards recovery) I’ve been SHing for almost 6 years. Some stuff on here might be ED related as well.
My interests are PJSK (Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage), Sk8 the infinity (currently watching), MHA (literally an almost 6 year hyperfixation…), and PTV (Pierce The Veil) !! I’ve had a huge hyperfixation on PTV for almost 3 years.
I don’t take this ‘blog’ seriously. It’s kind of like where I scream into the void and some ppl just so happen to relate 🤭
Im js telling u rn I do not like talking to people and unless we’ve talked before, I probably won’t wanna engage. Not in a rude way I just get really drained from any conversation from anyone. 👍
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DNI :
Basic DNI criteria (homophobes, racists, etc.)
People pushing recovery (pls im getting better at my own pace)
NSFW accounts. I’m a minor, I don’t wanna see you being horny on main ‼��👍🤓
Anyone BELOW 13. Sorry Ik people can’t change their age but 12 and under is just too young for me.
Thank you for reading !! ALSO BLOCK DONT REPORT ‼️‼️
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caruliaa · 2 years
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hmm girlies we may have acted a bit irrationally earlier this week. lol
#likee. she wasnt even making fun of it that much it was j one post critiquing her song writing like. idk#well. i cant take it back now lol so#idk it just kinda sucks bc like. it feel like so much that everyone around me is just making fun of this interest i have#to the point were i feel weary even about people id otherwise consider friends (although not close ones) mocking my interest and its fans#(and by extension me because i am a fan and its something im passionate about) openly without like. caring about#how feeling mocked by my peers would affect me#becuase it fucking sucks !! it really does its an awful feeling having something you love be treated as embarrassing to enojy#and i have experienced that feeling before including by ppl close to me and i think that still affects me a lot subconsciously#even if theyve since apologized and i dont hold it against them i still feel mentally impacted esp w past expeince of my interests being#mocked. i just like. its really realy easy for me to be on the offense and like. i have been trying to combat those feeling and not get#upset over minor things but idk sometimes its really hard and its easy sometimes to get overly worked up over small things that really#arent me and my interest actually jsut being made fun of but a differnece opinion on them which is fine for someone to have#but idk its jsut easy to feel made fun of when you are constantly surronded by ppl even via just following and shit who ARE#making fun of you idk. ik im not acting rationally but u guys wldnt if u had an interest that it feels like every one around u thinks is#'cringe' and uve seen ppl be told to kill themselves over having. an idk its jsut rly confliciting and im trying to not be irrational but#i feel like im being pushed into being the kind of intense fan who cant handle any critique of smth even when i dont want to be#bc it feels like the other option is to constantly have that interest mocked cosntalty and j put up with it which wears you down sm#and im trying to find a third option but it doesnt feel like thats just up to me like ofc theres some effort i need to and trying to put in#but its also up to the people around me and bc theres no foolproof 'will this person mack my interest' test i can do on everyone i become#mutuals w its kinda like. idk ig if your a mutual and ur reading this pls do be like. idk mindful of the fact that im a part of this online#community that youre in and if mocking smth i enjoy (im. talking abt tswift here if it isnt obvious) is smth you really cant go w out#then genuinly fair enough but please make dont continue to have me as a peer and if you do want to keep me as a part of your online#community jsut be like. mindful w me and everyone if youre mocking smth someone you wnat to have in your community cares abt#esp if its already widely mocked on here yk. idk just try to be kind and considerate of the ppl around u and like. ofc u cant keep track of#everyone ur gonna mess up and thats understandable but like. idk i dont wanna seem to self centered staying this but i remember#a while ago i made a post like pointing out a ship as an example of ships that were really popular despite there not being anything to them#(imo) but i still didnt mock the ship at all and b considerate of ppl that ship it bc ik i have mutuals who rly love tht ship and i didnt#want to make them feel bad bc theyre ppl i care abt even if we arent close and i. kinda wish i cld b offered the same grace idk#idk. also its 5am im going to go to sleep now. gn luce if ur reading this ilu<3#flappy rambles
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