#plus audio would make my texts not sound like i’m saying the same thing over and over again

[caregivingchrysalises]

starlight? are you still awake? oh darling hi my little moon, thank you for welcoming me home angel, i’m happy to be back precious. you’re so sleepy honey, i appreciate you spending time waiting up for me but it’s important to get the proper rest sprout, growing blossoms like yourself need all of their energy baby~ i’m going to slip into something softer and then i think it’s time for us to fly to dreamland together sweetheart. i know going to bed can be scary love, but i promise i’ll protect you from all the scariness and shadows starlight. can buba pick you up love, i’ll give a count down okay? 3,,2,, up we go! there’s my little noble hi my love, alright did we have any stuffies waiting with you? we can’t leave them behind now can we! that’s right love they are part of our royal family, such a kind little leaf you are~ alright then, stuffies and starlight accounted for i do believe it’s time to get some rest don’t you dove? my it seems my royal rambles have flown you right off into dreamland, goodnight my little moon, your buba loves you in every galaxy angel~ rest well for me.

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[jungblue]

aphrodite in war | 02

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: comedy, fluff, angst, eventual smut / greek life, fake dating, roommates, lovers to enemies and back to lovers au

word count: 14,243

description: Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle... Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

note: here is an audio post of a beautiful song with lyrics inspired by AiW, which was written by one of my lovely readers!

→ part 01

Red, hot anger had curled its way around your bones, forcibly moving your limbs until you somehow found yourself standing in front of the Lambda house with a single pair of heart-covered boxers in hand; murderous intent leaving Jungkook’s voice indiscernible in the distance as you’d left him standing in front of the defiled Tri Delt house. Maybe he was telling you to wait for him while he began to pull down the rest of the countless pairs of boxers that were plastered along the outside of the sorority. Or maybe he was telling you to not go inside because it would only make it worse to have the furious president of Tri Delt waking up dozens of Lambdas at seven in the morning. You genuinely couldn’t tell what he was shouting as you ripped the front door of the fraternity open and stomped inside. 

It had been over two years since you had stepped foot inside of your neighbor’s house, but it was exactly as you remembered. Red solo cups and crushed cans of beer scattered around the floor as a telling sign that it was indeed the morning after a night of partying, two Lambdas passed out on the couch because apparently the staircase that led to their rooms had been an impenetrable obstacle in their drunken states, and the scent of weed encasing the entire house that seemingly never went away. It was all the same, and you hoped as you went down the hallway to the left, that held a portion of the bedrooms in this house, that a particular person’s room was also the same as it had been before. You banged your fist against the door, scowling as you waited for the person on the other side to answer. 

“What the fuck?” You heard someone say. The voice was scratchy from just being woken up but still recognizable as the person you were looking for; Jimin. 

You banged on the door again, your patience level laying at zero. 

You heard the bed creak and then footsteps began padding across the floor. “Uh, is this the cops?” He asked, probably to know whether he should hide a few things before opening the door. 

You rolled your eyes. “No, I’m not here to confiscate your coke. Now. Open. The. Door.” You spat each word out through gritted teeth. 

“Y/N?” Jimin asked before ripping his door open, revealing a mop of messy bed head framing his bewildered expression. He stood there shirtless, adorning only a white pair of tight Calvin Klein boxers that were doing absolutely nothing to hide his morning wood. 

“Oh, god.” You threw your hand up to try and block out its unavoidable presence. 

Jimin glanced down at himself before raising his head, smirking as he leaned against his doorframe, not even attempting to hide the piece of him that you were trying to avoid looking at. “You’re not exactly decent yourself there, Nips.” He pointed toward your chest. 

Your eyes widened. In your rage you had completely forgotten about the attire you had decided was appropriate to storm the Lambda house in. You immediately crossed your arms over your chest to hide the fact that you were wearing the flimsiest tanktop of all time in combination with no bra. 

“Plus, I’m in my own house,” He started again. “What’s your excuse?”

“Trust me. I would’ve loved nothing more than to never had to of stepped foot in this place ever again. But,” You paused, holding up the pair of heart covered boxers you had ripped off the Tri Delt house because you thought they were the most recognizable among the sea of plain solid blacks, whites, and maroons. “I have a motherfucking bone to pick with someone in this house.”

Jimin studied the piece of fabric that you held up before him before his mouth dropped open. “Fuck, did you sleep with Taehyung? I’m gonna knock his ass out if Jungkook doesn’t get to him first.”

Your face wrinkled in disgust. “Ew, no. There are about a million pairs of boxers all over the Tri Delt house and I’m trying to find out who did it, so thank you for letting me know. Now where is Tae’s room?” 

“Oh, thank god.” Jimin’s expression softened, as if he was relieved that his friend didn’t sleep with you; who they thought of as the devil incarnate. “But no, I’m not telling you. I had nothing to do with that. I went home early last night. But Jungkook can deal with it, just like you can deal with what your girls did.”

“What’re you talking about?” You asked, eyes narrowing. 

“Oh, you don’t know?” Jimin smiled. “Some of the guys texted me before I fell asleep last night saying that when they left Pub they found their cars with words written all over their windows in lipstick.”

Your eyes screwed shut, tongue jabbing at the side of your cheek as you tried to calm the colossal wave of anger that flooded through you for a second time in the fifteen minutes you had been awake. 

What a fantastic day this was turning out to be. 

“Are you serious?” You finally asked, voice a little bit louder than you’d intended.

“Yeah, so you might wanna check your own people before you come into someone else’s house and accuse them of things.” He shrugged. “Might save you some embarrassment next time.”

Heat rushed to your face. You were pissed, but that was only because you agreed with him. “Look—” You started, not really sure what was going to come out of your mouth, but it was the squeak of sneakers running along the wooden floor boards that stopped you. 

Jungkook was suddenly rounding the corner, a mountain of boxers filling his arm. “Y/N, what the hell?” He hissed before dropping them to the ground. 

“What? I was just trying to get to the bottom of this.” You held the heart boxers up one last time before tossing them into the pile next to Jungkook’s feet.

“Yeah, and how’d that go for you?” He pointed towards Jimin. 

“Well, I found out who those boxers belonged to… But…” You trailed off, not wanting to admit what you just found out. 

“But?” Jungkook asked.

“But, she found out that it was only payback for some of her members participating in a little bit of lipstick graffiti on Taehyung and a few other people’s cars.” Jimin smirked next to you as he revealed what you were too embarrassed to say. 

There was a small pause, and then Jungkook was laughing, like he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. That even after the threat of suspension to these people, they just didn’t care. And you just wanted to understand why. Was it truly because they didn’t care or was it due to the fact that the failed relationship that had acted as the catalyst to this war still held hostility and therefore still felt unresolved. Either way it was an issue that you and Jungkook needed to figure out how to fix. You were already trying to think of other possible solutions to this mess when another door a few feet away opened, and the sleep-deprived face of Taehyung poked its way out. 

“The hell’s going on out here?” He slurred before his eyes locked with yours. “Whoa, seriously what the hell is going on out here?”

A few more doors throughout the hall began to open. Clearly this little altercation had been a little bit louder than you’d anticipated. All of the Lambdas faces twisted in confusion as they found you standing in their hallway for the first time in years. 

“We found your little boxer exhibit,” You finally answered. 

Taehyung threw his hands up. “Hey, I only did it because of the—”

“—Lipstick,” You finished for him. “Yeah, yeah, I got that part already.”  

“Some of us had been drinking and it pissed us off.” Baekhyun shrugged, as he had been one of the guys to join in on this little morning confrontation. “Sorry.” 

“I can’t deal with this. I have a million other things to worry about today.” You rubbed your palms over your eyes in frustration as you remembered the other issue you had to handle once the financial aid office opened for their half day, since today was Saturday. The mystery of your less than lucrative bank account and the implications that it had on your living situation hanging over your head. 

“Well, as a sign of my immense regret and an attempt to repair this terrible relationship between our houses, I do have to say you look great this morning.” Baekhyun motioned towards your minimally covered body. “If you ever wanna hang out—”

You rolled your eyes, deciding to not listen to the rest of the garbage he decided to spew, but it turned out you didn’t even need to tune him out because suddenly a voice sliced through the air like a razor. 

“Watch it, Baek.” Jungkook sounded cold, mouth set in a firm line as he stared daggers down the hallway. 

“Uhm, I’m…” Baekhyun started, an awkward air encasing everyone. “I just woke up. I’m mildly delusional. My bad, Kook.” He tapped at his head and raised his hands as an apology before shutting the door. 

There was silence, a palpable silence that had Jimin, Taehyung and a few of the other Lambdas that had opened their doors grabbing the back of their necks as they stared at the floor. But Jungkook kept his stance, arms crossed over his chest as he continued to stare at Baekhyun’s door. 

After only a few moments of this you just couldn’t take it. You clapped your hands together, trying to let the sudden burst of sound break the tension. “Come on,” You said, pulling at Jungkook’s shirt. “Let’s talk outside.” 

He nodded, finally breaking his glare down the hallway before turning towards Jimin. “Do you think you could give me a ride back to my place in a minute. I don’t have my car.” 

“I can, but why’d you Uber back here last night instead of your place?” Jimin asked, clearly not privy to the events that had transpired between you and Jungkook last night. 

Jungkook’s eyes found yours for a split second before returning to Jimin. “I met a girl from Chi Omega. I was gonna meet her at her place, but it fell through.” He shrugged, a lie so on the fly that it made you wonder how many times he’d done that to you since knowing him. 

“Gotcha.” Jimin nodded, seeming to perfectly understand. “Just let me know when you wanna go.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook said as he joined you in stepping over the pile of boxers still strewn across the floor. “And make sure everyone picks this shit up.” 

“Will do, boss.” Jimin saluted before shutting his door behind him.

After that you made a straight line through the house, not wanting to stand inside this place that held too many memories. You breathed a sigh of relief when you pushed the front door open, letting the fresh air wash over you — albeit the hot, muggy fresh air that reminded you of the fact that it was the end of summer and rain every single day was a constant. 

“I got all the boxers,” Jungkook finally said. 

“That’s great, but it still doesn’t change the fact that my members fucked up first. Plus, I have this financial aid bullshit to deal with.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to flush the stress from your body. “What the hell are we gonna do?” 

Jungkook shook his head and sighed, because like you he apparently also didn’t have any solid answers, but before he could try to offer anything his phone began to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and eyed the contact on the screen. 

“Give me a second. It’s my new roommate that’s supposed to be moving in this week,” He said before answering. 

“What’s up?” He began. 

You stood there for a minute, watching the way Jungkook’s face began to slowly devolve as the person on the other side of the line spoke, and from the expression on his face, it did not seem like it was good news. 

“Are you serious?” Jungkook finally said, grabbing at his hair. “Like I’m happy for you guys, but rent is due next week and you were supposed to be moving in and paying half.” 

It seemed you weren’t the only person having issues involving living situations. 

“I doubt I’ll be able to find anyone this short notice. And if I can’t there’s no way I can pay rent in full this month and have enough to last me the rest of the semester.” 

After that the conversation on Jungkook’s end was mostly just grunts and short responses as he was clearly frustrated and already had his mind focused on possible solutions. 

“Alright, alright, bye.” He hung up the phone, pressing his hands against temples. 

“Well that didn’t sound good,” You said. 

“Yeah, my new roommate apparently worked things out with his ex-girlfriend, so instead of moving in with me, he’s moving back in with her. So now, I have no one to split rent with and am basically fucked.” 

That was actually very unfortunate, but even though you and Jungkook had experienced a somewhat understanding moment last night, it still wasn’t enough to completely erase the hostile relationship the two of you had engaged in for the last few years. So the comment that you replied with was already halfway out of your mouth before you could even think to stop it. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be too difficult to convince some of your harem of girls to play roomie and split rent with you.” 

Jungkook turned to look at you, eyes narrowing into slits. “Yeah, I might do that actually.” He sounded pissed, clearly not finding any amusement in the comment that you admittedly shouldn’t have made. “And when you get kicked out of the Tri Delt house you should ask that guy from the soccer team if you can move in with him. What was his name? Hoseok?” 

You deserved the response, but it still didn’t make your blood boil any less. “Whatever, we can deal with our fucked up living situations later on. For now just try and think of a way to get our idiot friends to stay in line. We’ll see who has the best idea at Kappa Sig tonight. Did Yoongi tell you about the party? Are you going?” 

Yoongi was a mutual friend of yours and Jungkook’s from high school. He was also in a fraternity, but instead of Lambda Phi Epsilon it was Kappa Sigma, which was located a little further down Greek Drive. When the relationship between you and Jungkook ended he somehow managed to stay impartial and remained friends with the both of you, thankfully. 

“Yeah, I’m going,” He said simply, clearly still embittered from your joke. 

“Good, better start thinking then,” You said and then turned to head back towards the Tri Delt house; any progress you and Jungkook made last night seeming to snap in half as you left him behind. 

Yet, somehow you could feel him staring into your back, the lingering feeling not disappearing until you closed the front door to your house behind you. 

 —————-

You had spent the past half an hour nervously fidgeting in your bed as you waited for the financial aid office to open. As soon as the time on your phone read eight a.m. you immediately dialed their number. However, it was the first week of classes, and that meant that everyone and their mother needed to talk to financial aid, because unfortunately situations like yours were completely common. So even though you called the second they opened it was still a twenty minute wait before you finally heard a voice that wasn’t pre-recorded and asking you to press various numbers depending on your issue or question. 

“Hello. This is financial aid. How can I help you?” The woman on the other side of the line chimed.

“Hi, I have a question about my refund.” Your voice was high-pitched as it shifted into a mode that was more professional. “I received my refund on Thursday, and it was the correct amount. However, when I checked my bank account yesterday my refund had been completely taken out. I was just trying to figure out why that is.” 

She hummed in understanding. “Could you give me your student I.D number and we’ll see what’s going on.”

You rattled off your number and there was a few seconds of silence as the woman on the other side pulled up your information. 

“Okay, it says here…” She paused, presumably reading through whatever she was seeing once more. “That you will be getting your refund deposited back into your bank account, however, it had to be taken back out to adjust the amount. One of your scholarships informed the university that you and a few other recipients did not meet the new community service hours minimum they implemented to receive the scholarship this semester.” 

You felt the blood drain from your face, anxiety making your hands go shaky. “New community service hour minimum?” You asked, trying to understand what that was even referring to, because you knew nothing about the change in hours you were supposed to obtain. 

“Yes, they upped the amount. A few other students have already called to complain about this situation, but the office for that particular scholarship said that they sent an email out last year to inform you guys about the new amount that would be needed.” 

Email? You didn’t think that you ever received an email with any information about that. “Oh… okay… Uhm, I guess I’ll try and figure out what’s going on. Thank you.” 

You hung up the phone and immediately opened up your email app and began to scour through any undeleted messages from last year that you might have overlooked. And after a few minutes of scrolling, there it was, sitting in the depths of your inbox like some monster that was going to destroy you. You clicked on it as some sort of masochistic gesture. You already knew what it was going to say, so you didn’t know why you were even bothering to read it. And yes, there it was, written in bold print at the bottom of the email. A message that relayed the raise in community service hours needed. 

“Fuck my life!” You yelled, throwing a pillow over your face and screaming into it. 

Living in a sorority or fraternity was different than living in a regular apartment or house that wasn’t associated with the university. Instead of paying a monthly amount like a normal living situation, in order to live on campus you had to pay the full amount for the semester up front. Which basically translated to needing to fork over a couple thousand dollars all at once. Which, unless you were rich or incredibly well disciplined at saving money, scholarships and loans were the only option. That had been one of the reasons Jungkook decided to live at an apartment this year instead of at Lambda Phi Epsilon. 

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You continued to yell into your pillow until your bedroom door was suddenly swinging open; a concerned Sana standing before you. 

“I’m sorry,” She said, walking to the side of your bed. “You totally could’ve been having sex in here, but the expletives sounded more like frustration than fun, so I wanted to make sure.” 

“It’s beyond frustration. It’s devastation.” You threw your pillow across the room to make your point.

“What happened?” She asked as she sat next to you on your bed. 

You took a heavy sigh and explained the entire financial aid situation to her, and ended with the consequence of your entire scholarship debacle. “So I’m not going to be able to stay here this semester. I’m gonna have to find a new place to live.” 

Sana’s mouth dropped, hand twisting into her hair. “Seriously? You’ve gotta move out?” 

You, Sana, and Jennie were best friends that had lived less than ten feet away from each other for the past three year, and you had all hoped for your final year to be the same. But hope was like that. It gave you so much to look forward to, only for it to end in a way that you didn’t at all expect. You had experienced that many times, unfortunately. 

“Yeah, looks like it,” You whispered, arm coming up to cover your eyes.

“No, it’ll be okay.” She squeezed at your arm. “I’ll text around today and see if anyone knows about people needing roommates.” 

“Thanks,” You said, offering a weak smile. 

“It’s not even something to stress over honestly. It’s gonna work itself out.” You could tell Sana was trying to be upbeat for your sake.

You nodded, but there were other issues besides where you were going to live. “But something that is apparently not going to work itself out is the failed peace treaty between us and next door.” 

Sana cocked her head to the side. “Wait… Did something happen? What did they do?” She sneered, having the same reaction as you from earlier this morning. 

“Plastered boxers all over our house.” Sana was about to go on a rant, but you informed her of the whole story before she could. “Because some of the girls wrote shit in lipstick on their cars at Pub last night.”

“You’re kidding me?” She slammed her palm down on the bed. “Who was it? I’m gonna kick their asses.”

The image that brought to your head actually made you laugh, which you were thankful for. You needed some sort of humor in your life on this miserable day. “I have no idea. I got a call from Jungkook this morning about the boxers and ran outside. I haven’t even had the chance to try and figure out who did it.”

“Wait… You were already here?” She asked. “You weren’t at Hoseok’s.” 

Oh yeah, you forgot Sana had left Pub last night expecting to not see you until some time later today when Hoseok brought you home. She still had no idea about Jungkook and that entire emotional disaster from last night. 

“Yeah, about that…” You definitely weren’t going to hide what happened, but you decided that you were going to sugarcoat it a bit. You didn’t like talking about your insecurities, even with your friends, so you decided painting it in a more positive light was for the best, because relatively speaking that actually had been a less hostile conversation compared to others that you and Jungkook had experienced over the years. “Because my bank account got emptied out from the whole financial aid thing, I just felt like going home instead of over to Hoseok’s, but I also didn’t have any money to Uber, so… Jungkook walked me home.”

Sana’s eyes widened, hands cupping either side of her face. “What?!”

“Yeah, he offered to walk me home.” You shrugged, trying to make it seem as though it wasn’t a big deal, but you knew that was going to do nothing to stop the onslaught of questions about to be thrown at you. 

“Wait, wait, wait, so did you guys talk? Did you argue the whole time? Was it just awkward and silent? Like tell me.” She moved closer to you on the bed, curiosity beaming off of her. 

“It wasn’t, uhm, bad actually.” You sat up, avoiding as much eye contact as you could manage without looking like a complete liar. “We talked and cleared the air on things. It was… enlightening.” That wasn’t a total fib. Certain feelings had been revealed, and yes, that might have ended up with you crying, but in the grand scheme of things that was a totally miniscule detail, right?

Sana’s expression twisted into that of bewilderment. “...Enlightening? What does that even mean? What became enlightened?” 

You shrugged, buying yourself time to try and think of some way to fumble through any sort of half decent explanation. “Just our feelings on everything that happened and how we felt. Nothing crazy.” 

She squinted her eyes, finger tapping at her nose. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” 

“There isn’t. We just understand each other a lot better now.” You knew the longer she pushed the higher the possibility of you cracking, so you decided to bring up the one thing that you knew would flood her mind with thoughts completely unrelated to you and Jungkook. “You’ll see at Kappa Sig tonight. We’re better with each other now.” 

Pink flushed to Sana’s cheeks at the mere mention of Kappa Sig, because in her mind Kappa Sig directly correlated to one of its members; Kim Seokjin, or one of Yoongi’s good friends. 

“I almost forgot about the party tonight,” Sana started. Mission success it seemed as she completely dropped the conversation from before. “Maybe love is in the air, and Jennie’s luck with Namjoon will rub off on me tonight with Jin.”

“Maybe it is.” You smiled. 

Sana gave you a strange look at your response, and you weren’t sure why, but you didn’t get the chance to find out before she dropped the expression and moved on to something else. 

“I’m gonna text Jennie and see when she thinks she’ll come home.” She began typing on her phone before looking back up at you. “You wanna go get lunch or something in a few hours? Get your mind off of the whole financial aid thing while we wait for the party tonight? My treat since you don’t have your refund back yet.”

“That actually sounds great.” Sana leaned in, hugging you before jumping from your bed and heading back to her room directly next to yours. 

You fell back flat against your bed, eyes wandering around your room. The pictures plastered across your walls of all of your friends and family. Posters of your favorite shows and movies. You couldn’t help but think about how in a week or so this wasn’t going to be yours anymore. 

Where you were going to wind up at in the end, well, that was a complete mystery.

———

JUNGKOOK’S POV

Jungkook climbed into Jimin’s truck, slamming the door behind him. He pressed his forehead against the dashboard, palms pressing at his temples to try and relieve even the tiniest amount of stress that was currently running amok through his head. 

Jimin jumped into the driver’s seat a minute later, whistling at the sight of his friend in such a rough position. “You good, man?” He asked. 

“Do I look good?” Jungkook asked, sitting up against the seat. “I’ve gotta find a new roommate in the next week, act like a goddamn babysitter between forty-two grown adults, and worry about Y/N storming around the Lambda house now apparently.” He paused, clenching his hands into fists. “So, no, I’m not good.”

“Kook, just take it easy.” Jimin reached over, squeezing at his friend’s shoulder. “There’s gonna be a ton of people at that party tonight, and I guarantee you at least one person there needs a place to stay or at the very least knows someone who does.” 

Jungkook nodded because he agreed that there were always people looking for places to stay. “What about the other two things?” 

“Oh, you’re fucked on those. I don’t know what to tell you.” Jimin laughed as he hit the gear into reverse. 

“You sound surprisingly calm about that, considering the chapter will be suspended if me and Y/N don’t figure out a way to make things okay between everyone.” 

Jimin shrugged as he pulled out of the driveway. “If I had come out last night and seen my truck covered in lipstick, would I have been pissed? Sure. But, I would’ve just told you so that you could tell Y/N, and she could deal with it. The fact is, that’s how I am, but everyone’s different and you two can’t control that many people without some sort of miracle.”

Jungkook sighed, banging his head back against the headrest. “A miracle, huh?”

“Yeah, a straight up miracle,” He repeated as he drove past the Tri Delt house that was no longer covered in boxers. 

Jungkook’s eyes drifted to the far right window on the second story, a small twinge budding inside of his chest. Words from that night almost two years ago pushed their way to the surface as they never failed to do. 

“It’s nothing that you did… I’ve just been having these… thoughts.”

“Thoughts? What, thoughts of cheating on me? Of being with other people?”

“No! I mean, it’s not how you’re thinking. It’s just… You’re the only person I’ve ever dated, Y/N, and I don’t know if…”

“Oh, I’ll finish it for you, Jungkook. You don’t know if there’s someone better. Just fucking say it instead of going around it like you have been for months now.”

“I don’t think there’s someone better. I’m not ending this because I met someone else. I’m ending this because I can’t look at you and say I love you everyday when I’m having these thoughts, because it just doesn’t seem right. And I’m not saying that I don’t love you. I still do, but that doesn’t stop me from having these feelings of doubt about whether this is the last relationship I ever wanna have, when it’s the only one I’ve ever been in. I can’t just sit there and look at you when I know I’m thinking these things. I can’t do that because I care about you so fucking much, even if you’re looking at me right now like you hate me. I don’t want you to hate me.”

Jungkook wished he could permanently scrub that night from his head. There was so much crying, so much blame, so much anguish, from having to end things with someone that he truly did love. He hadn’t stopped loving you. That wasn’t why he broke up with you. He ended things because he wanted to be sure that the one experience that he’d ever had was the right one. And he knew when he took that risk that he could be throwing away something that was perfect. But he couldn’t be sure until he knew.

He had dated a few people in the two years since that night, and he had found some great relationships with some great girls — but nothing that had lasted. None of them ever felt as if he could see himself with them for years and years to come, and wasn’t that the whole point of dating? And of course, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if he had never ended things with you. He thought about it every time he saw you actually. You wouldn’t know that, and no one around him would know that, because there was always something hostile coming out of someone’s mouth. Jungkook had hurt you, and he understood that, but it still didn’t excuse some of the things that you had accused him of over the years, and after a month or so he had gotten tired of playing polite and matched your antagonism; insult for insult, sneer for sneer. 

He wasn’t sure if they could ever fully reconcile. The words had been said and there was no taking them back. He thought last night was actually a step in the right direction, with you revealing why you acted the way that you did. But still, he wasn’t sure if things could ever be civil between the two of you. The embitterment ran so deep on both sides that it seemed almost impossible to even try. 

Jungkook remained lost in these thoughts when through his haze he heard Jimin speak a name that had him fearing for half a second that his friend could read his thoughts. 

“Y/N?” Jungkook asked. 

“Yeah, what actually happened last night?” Jimin glanced over, one brow arched. 

“Uhm, what do you mean?” 

“When I asked about why you were at the house and not at your apartment, you looked at Y/N.” Jimin slapped one hand to his chest. “Don’t think I didn’t notice.” 

Well, he had only looked at her for all of half a second, so yeah, he had kind of hoped that no one would notice. But unfortunately, someone did, and that happened to be his nosy ass best friend. 

“Y/N got stuck at Pub last night with no ride because financial aid fucked up her refund, and she couldn’t get a ride, so I walked her home. That’s it.” Which was true. He had done exactly that, but simply failed to mention the crying and sentimental admissions. 

“So why didn’t you just say that when I asked?” 

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair. He really didn’t want to reveal any of the details from what you’d told him last night, but he knew Jimin wasn’t going to stop asking until he at least told him something of substance. “Because there were other people in the hall listening, and I didn’t want them getting the same ideas as you right now.” 

Jimin smirked. “Oh yeah, and what am I thinking?” 

Jungkook shook his head, turning to look out of the window. “I’m not even gonna say it.”

“Any talk of feelings or gushy bullshit?” Jimin chuckled, clearly joking, but Jungkook hesitated before answering, and that was all his friend needed to assume whatever theory was being crafted inside of his head. “Oh, Jesus, did you guys actually talk about your feelings? Oh my god, did you guys kiss? Fuck?” Jimin was looking at Jungkook frantically now, like he needed the answers to the questions being proposed in his favorite TV show. 

“You’re truly the biggest gossip I’ve ever met.” He leaned back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest as Jimin pulled into his apartment complex. “It’s sad.”

“Your lack of answers is making me lean towards you guys fucking. And if that happened,” He let go of the steering wheel for a second to motion at his head as if it was exploding. “I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind. Like I get it, sex is sex, but after everything she’s said about you since you guys broke up, I just…” He trailed off, shaking his head in disappointment like he had already decided that the two of you had definitely hooked up.

“She said that shit in the beginning because I made her feel terrible about herself, so she wanted to make me feel terrible too. I’m not saying that it’s right, but at this point we’ve both said shit we regret and didn’t mean.” He tried to make it seem more casual by shrugging. “And we didn’t sleep together. Chill out.”

Jimin’s expression was skeptical as he pulled into the parking space in front of Jungkook’s building and unlocked the doors. “Still, something definitely happened, because otherwise you would be talking about how she was acting like a bitch, but you’re not, which means that you weren’t acting like an asshole, which in turn means that something went down, because the last time the two of you were anything less than pissy to each other was when you were still dating.”

Jungkook simply placed a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, forcing a smile. “Your conspiracies are unmatched, my friend.” And then he was climbing out of the truck, shutting the door, and waving his friend goodbye without even looking back. 

However, that didn’t stop Jimin from rolling down his window as he began to back out of the parking space, throwing his final sentiment to the wind. “You guys getting back together was the kind of miracle I was talking about.”

———-

It was currently ten p.m. and the scene on Greek Drive was about two dozen or so Tri Delts making their way towards the most well known party frat on campus; Kappa Sigma. 

Kappa Sig was the blueprint for the types of fraternities that you see in various movies or TV shows. There was never a time when your shoes weren’t sticking to the wooden floors due to the constant barrage of alcohol being spilled by various drunken patrons. Each member had an actual mini bar set up in the corner of their room, which in the next few weeks, once football and tailgating started up, would be the most popular place to score some free drinks — if you were a girl that is. Kappa Sig was also fairly stereotypically frat in who it allowed entrance into its castle of alcohol and sex. Basically, if you were a girl, you were good. If you were a guy, well it was complicated. Usually it was a no go, or you were asked to pay such a ridiculously high cover at the door that no one in their right mind would pay it, or the easiest way: have a friend who had sway within the house. 

So fortunately for you, Sana, Jennie, and the rest of the Tri Delts, it was a non-issue. However, unfortunately, Yoongi, a good friend of yours and Jungkook’s, happened to be the president of Kappa Sig, and therefore Lambdas were allowed free reign. No cover charge and no being turned away, which meant tonight was bound to be interesting. 

“Jennie, hold my hand until we get there.” Sana didn’t even wait for a response and instead opted to simply interlock their fingers. “I need good luck in the crushes-actually-approaching-and-showing-interest department.”

Jennie laughed, swinging their arms back and forth between them. “Well if you can get even half my luck, it should be a good night for you.” 

“Oh, wow. Way to brag, bitch,” Sana said, throwing a hand over her heart. “We’ve got Mrs. Already Dick Whipped over here.” 

“I am not!” Jennie yelled. “He just…” 

“Lasted longer than sixty seconds?” You finished for her with a purse of your lips. 

She pointed at you. “That he fucking did. That and so, so much more.”

Sana groaned next to the two of you. “Ugh, I want that. I haven’t had good sex in months.”

“Well, even if things don’t happen with Jin tonight, there’s gonna be plenty of guys here,” You tried to remind her. 

“Uh yeah, lots of Lambda guys,” She reminded you right back. 

You shrugged. You didn’t like that it had become this sort of unwritten rule that Tri Delts and Lambdas couldn’t get together, but when everyone was pranking or fucking with each other’s stuff, it was kind of difficult to look past that just for the sake of a hookup. 

“Well, Kappa Sig boys for you tonight it is then.” You motioned towards the top of the driveway, the party seemingly already completely started. 

The music was blaring and there was a fairly long line of people waiting to get in, but it only took a couple minutes for you to move through the line and pass over the threshold and into the scene of dimmed lights, packed bodies, and endless alcohol. 

You knew you had a lot of things to worry about, but after the absolutely horrendous two days that you’d had to endure, between suspension threats, disastrous house meetings, crying in front of your ex, the boxer and lipstick fiasco, and financial aid meltdowns, you just wanted to be able to relax and have fun for a single night. You didn’t think that was too much to ask for, and the vodka bottle currently staring at you from the kitchen, seemed to be calling you and saying they were the perfect place to start in order to make that fun, relaxing night come true. 

Once everyone got into the house, the girls broke up into their mini groups of close friends. You motioned to Sana and Jennie to follow you to the kitchen so you could get some drinks. It took some effort but the three of you eventually managed to make your way through the crowd that couldn’t bother to idle anywhere else besides around the counter of various alcohols and plastic cups. Each of you quickly made a sufficiently strong cup of vodka combined with whatever random mixers were available. 

“Okay, now let’s find a comfy couch that isn’t covered in vomit stains to camp out on and get plastered.” You pointed towards the living room, where a majority of the party goers were. 

“A couch without vomit stains?” Jennie clicked her tongue. “That’s a tall order for Kappa Sig.”

“Indeed.” Sana giggled, pointing towards some of the few empty places to sit in the back corner. 

You made your way over there, exchanging hellos with a few people that you knew before plopping down on the couch, all three of you spilling a few splashes of your drinks on each other; not even a drop of alcohol in your systems yet. 

“Well this is a great start.” You laughed, taking a large gulp from your cup that had you grimacing. “Jesus, this cheap ass Pinnacle. Come on, KS, get your shit together.” 

“Well excuse the fuck out of me.” The voice came from someone you recognized immediately. 

You turned around, a wide grin plastered across your face. “It’s okay Yoongi. I still love you even though you’re making us suffer with cheap booze.” 

He sauntered over, sitting down on the armchair beside you. “Well, you’re lucky you’re one of my very good friends or I wouldn’t bless you with my own personal stash.” His smile was devilish as he pulled up a bottle of Tito's vodka.” 

There was a collective gasp from you and friends. “Wow, keeping the good shit all to yourself.” 

“Hey, didn’t I just say I was gonna help you out?” He twisted the cop off and motioned for the three of you to hold your cups out, and one by one he filled your cups up to the very top. “Be wise with this power, friends.” 

“You know, Yoongi,” Sana said from across the couch. “I’d be totally willing to not take advantage of your hospitalities if you’d wanna help me out in another department.” 

“Jesus, Sana!” You already knew where she was going with this. “You’re willing to drink rubbing alcohol instead of Tito’s just to get a good word in to Jin?” 

Sana simply shrugged, zero shame in her methods. 

Yoongi laughed. “Put a good word in? I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Appreciate it.” She raised her cup to his and they cheered in the hopeful union of Sana of Jin. 

Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, but something near the front of his house caught his eye. “Also, can we try to have no brawls in the house tonight?” 

“Huh?” You were confused until you followed his line of sight, a mob of Lambda boys entering the house one by one; Jungkook leading them all. 

“No fighting,” Yoongi reiterated. “Or no more Tito’s for you.” 

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip from your drink that was currently ninety percent vodka. “You haven’t heard? We’re cordial now.” 

“Cordial? A Greek Drive miracle, I guess.” He stood up from the armchair and motioned towards the guys. “I’m gonna go say hey to Kook.” 

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll catch up with you later.”

Yoongi had managed to stay good friends with both you and Jungkook throughout this entire process. You hated the fact that the three of you never got to hang out together anymore because of the tension between you and Jungkook, but, hey, that was life. 

“Don’t forget our deal, Yoongi!” Sana shouted as he started across the living room. 

“I got you, girl. But just so you know our bedrooms are right next to each other so be mindful.” He lowered his hands to the ground, silently saying to keep the volume down. 

“You’re the best!” She said, kissing her hand and throwing it out to the party host. 

“Someone might be getting lucky after all.” You squeezed at her thigh before standing up. “So while you celebrate that, I’m gonna put more mixer in this drink so I don’t blackout by midnight.” 

“You act like you don’t do that every other week.” Jennie laughed. 

You squinted at her. “Rude.” 

“Love you,” She said, making a heart shape with her hands as you made your way back towards the kitchen. 

You gave small smiles as you passed more people that you knew that had just arrived at the party. You glanced towards the door, the Lambda boys still congregating there. You couldn’t help your eyes from catching on Jungkook. He was standing there, grinning at everyone who approached him. He was the type that could be friends with anyone. A bright light that everyone gravitated towards, that no one ever found boring. You bit the inside of your cheek at the gnawing though that never failed to enter your head anytime you saw him. And it was like he could sense that pull, because then he was looking at you, giving a small nod of acknowledgment. 

A tiny, insignificant nod. At its very best, that was what your relationship was now, and that made you feel incredibly empty. 

You screwed your eyes shut for a second, shaking your head, trying to force those things from your head as you finally made it to the kitchen and poured a little bit of the first soda you could reach into your cup; just a little bit. 

And the party continued on like that for the next hour or two. Laughing and smiling with your friends and then hunting Yoongi down to steal some of his personal alcohol, all while catching random glances of Jungkook. It was fun and your buzz was well in effect by the time it was once again the moment to go find Yoongi.

You asked Sana, who was currently talking to Jin in the corner of the living room, if she had seen him. Apparently a very good word has been put in and two seemed to be hitting it off. 

“He went out back.” She motioned towards the sliding glass door. 

You offered a hum of thanks and left them to mingle alone as you made your way to the door and pulled it open. You searched the tiny groups of people that were standing around, not able to find Yoongi anywhere until you noticed two occupied chairs sitting in the distance. One was Yoongi and the other… Well, of course it just had to be Jungkook. 

You took a deep breath, taking a sip of your drink before walking out to the secluded area beneath the giant tree where they were chatting. You did a little run in the last few feet of approaching them before kneeling down next to Yoongi’s lawn chair. his body slightly hiding Jungkook’s. 

“Hello, my spirit bearing friend.” 

“And if it isn’t the spirit stealer herself,” Yoongi said as he grabbed your cup and poured a shot or two inside. “I already had to get another handle of Tito’s from my room. You’re killing me tonight.” 

“It was a bad day.” You poked your bottom lip out as an apology. “I’m sorry.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.” He motioned towards your cup that he had filled up multiple times already tonight. 

“Well, I fucked up something with one of my scholarships, so now I’ve gotta find a place to live by the end of next week because I can’t afford to stay in the Tri Delt house.” You shrugged, the alcohol making the daunting situation seem less serious than it actually was. “So yeah, bad day.”

“Are you serious?” Yoongi said at the same time that Jungkook leaned forward with this concerned look on his face before saying, “Wait, what?”

“No… It’s, uhm, fine.” You glanced at the ground and began awkwardly scratching at your temple. “I don’t wanna ruin the mood for tonight. I’m gonna start looking for roommates tomorrow, so if either of you guys know of anyone.” You pointed your cup towards both of them with a shrug, trying to make it seem casual. 

Yoongi nodded, and then suddenly a smile was creeping across his face. You knew that expression well. It was the expression he’d made when you were all sixteen and drunk and decided that going to the rope swing down by the lake (the alligator infested lake) in the dead of night was a perfectly sane idea. Or when it was your senior year prom and he convinced you and Jungkook that an impromptu beach trip a few hours away would be fun, and it might actually have been if any of you had thought about money, hotel reservations, or just any sort of planning in general, but you didn’t, so it essentially became a three drive only to end up at a  Denny’s in a beach town instead of your hometown. The point was, you had seen that expression many, many times, and it was one that he made when a bad, impulsive idea started creeping through that brain of his.

“Whatever it is, no,” You said as you pushed some of the leaves and sticks off of the grass so you could sit down. 

“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!” He exclaimed. “It’s a brilliant idea actually.” 

“Yeah, we know that face anywhere.” Jungkook moved his chair forward slightly so that the three of you were now sitting in a triangle, facing one another. “Ideas that come from that face are never brilliant.” 

Yoongi smacked his lips. “Well, that’s offensive.” 

“What’s offensive is almost getting eaten by alligators because you convinced us by using bogus gator attack statistics,” You pointed out, and Jungkook chuckled at the memory. 

“But, we didn’t get eaten, so it’s fine.” He shrugged. 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “So what’s this plan cooking in your head right now?” 

The devilish expression returned once more as he began looking back and forth between you and Jungkook. Oh, this was not good.

“Well, you said that you need a place to stay, right?” 

“...Right,” You said hesitantly, not completely sure where this was going until he turned his sights towards Jungkook; the phone call you’d overheard from earlier in the day flashing through your mind. 

“Yoongi, you idiot—” You started to say, but he was already spewing the other half of his grand plan. 

“And Jungkook needs a roommate!” He shouted, clapping his hands together like he’d just invented the surefire way to cure a hangover. “It’s perfect!”

There was a pause between the group, complete silence save from the chatting going on closer to the house — and then there was uncontrollable laughter. You and Jungkook doubled over at the most ridiculous proposal that you’d ever heard in your entire lives. 

Because it was totally ridiculous… Right?

“Why are you guys laughing?” Yoongi asked, looking genuinely confused. “That solves literally all of your problems.”

You caught the tear that was escaping out of the corner of your eye. “Yeah, it’s a great idea in theory Yoongi, if me and Jungkook didn’t have issues.” 

“I mean you guys are sitting here right now with each other.” He motioned between the two of you. “And there’s no fighting going on like there usually is. Plus, you said your houses were cordial now. I thought that meant you guys too.”

You and Jungkook glanced at each other, the amused smiles from Yoongi’s scheme faltering slightly. It had been a long time since you guys had been like this with each other. There was the talk after Pub last night and now you were here, just sitting and laughing with a mutual old friend. It was nice, you had to admit. But living together? That was just totally absurd. 

“Yoongi, that’s…” Jungkook trailed off, shaking his head, but not saying anything concrete. “And it doesn’t actually solve all of our problems… Our houses aren’t as cordial as we were hoping they’d be, even after we told them about President Kwon’s suspension threat.” You had texted Yoongi about the suspension fiasco yesterday and you were sure that Jungkook had done the same. 

“Wow, your members really are fucking idiots.” Yoongi laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You guys have way more pull than you realize.” 

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?” 

Yoongi held one finger up as he sipped from his cup, like he was about to drop some serious knowledge on the two presidents who had no control over their houses. “College kids are like toddlers. They need guidance. Before you guys were sort of like their big brother and sister whose lead they followed because they liked you and thought you were cool — that’s how you guys became presidents after all. Which means now you’re essentially like their parents.” 

You snorted at the idea, but it wasn’t the craziest analogy. You remembered when you were a freshman and first joined Tri Delt. The president back then felt like this motherly figure who you could go to for anything. It was hard for you to think that other people now saw you that way, but maybe they did and you hadn’t fully noticed yet. 

“You’re laughing, but I’m serious,” Yoongi started again. “Okay, so you guys told them they needed to get their shit together, right?”

You and Jungkook both nodded.

“And like I said, you guys are like their parents — their divorced parents who they respect but feel the need to defend depending on whose side they're on.”

Again, you and Jungkook just looked at each other, a tiny piece of understanding falling into place. You and him had just been two people who didn’t work out. You thought it was a simple issue, but you just never realized what the consequences of that would be. People choosing sides. Defending each other’s actions. Getting even. 

It was a mess. A mess that needed to be fixed somehow. 

“Well that’s nice to know,” Jungkook said, breaking you from your thoughts. “But it doesn’t actually help us fix anything.”

That was true. Just because you knew why everyone had so easily fallen into this feud didn’t change the fact that something needed to change. Something had to be done… And as you glanced over at Yoongi, his expression that signaled bad ideas returned once more. It let you know that he had an idea or two about what could be done. 

“Well, maybe you guys could reverse the divorce.” He shrugged. 

It took you a second to grasp what he was trying to say, and then you were sputtering and ripping the bottle of vodka from your friend’s hand. “You’re cut off.”

Jungkook scoffed, an incredulous look adorning his features as well. “Seriously, what the fuck did you smoke, dude?” 

“Nothing!” He grabbed the bottle back from your hand. “Strictly liquor tonight.”

“Like the roommate idea was one thing—” Jungkook started. 

“Oh!” Yoongi cut him off. “So you didn’t think Y/N moving in was the worst idea ever.”  

“I… I…” His mouth was closing and opening, like he truly didn’t know what to say. “Like as a last option it wouldn’t be the end of the world.” 

“What?!” You said, a little louder than you’d intended, but you couldn’t help it. He was actually considering the idea of the two of you moving in together? “Us? Living in the same house?”

Jungkook shrugged. “I mean it’s better than you being homeless and me being broke.”

Your head was spinning, and you didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or that this insane idea was actually being proposed in a semi-serious manner. 

“See, this is perfect!” Yoongi sat the glass bottle down on the grass and reached out to grab at yours and Jungkook’s arms, yanking you closer together. “Just pretend to get back together. If you just said it, no one would probably believe you, but if you guys actually move in together, no one would think that you’d go that far just to get everyone to stop fighting. The Great Greek Ruse! It would be the best story of all time!”

This was crazy. This was absolutely fucking crazy, and you knew Yoongi was half-joking with all of this, but you could tell that there was little bit of hope gleaming off of his eyes. 

You grabbed Yoongi’s face on either side, forcing him to look at you. “You. Are. Fucking. Plastered.” You said each word slowly and deliberately to try and penetrate through the haze of drunkenness to get to the part of him that held actual common sense.

“Yes, I am in fact plastered.” He grabbed your wrists, his excitement only seeming to multiply. “But I would argue that the most logical solutions to problems come from being drunk. There’s no hesitation that an idea seems ridiculous, because everything seems less ridiculous when you're fucked up.”

You fisted your hands through your hair. “You’re crazy. Literally crazy. Jungkook, tell him he’s crazy.” You looked at him for confirmation, but he just sat there, pursing his lips like he was… thinking. Like he was actually considering it. “Are you serious?” 

He threw his hands up in a defensive position. “No, it’s completely crazy. It’s just… Do you have any better ideas?”

“I can’t believe we’re even talking about this right now.” You scoffed, falling back flat against the grass and throwing your hands over your face. “Even if we did try to be that stupid and lie to everyone, they would never in a million fucking years believe that we would ever get back together. We fought in front of them literally yesterday!” 

You peeked through your fingers and Jungkook held an expression that made it seem like he wasn’t so sure that was true. “I don’t know about that. All I did earlier was tell Jimin that we talked last night and two seconds later he had gone off on some tangent about how disappointed he was in me for sleeping with you again — and I corrected him that we didn’t, by the way.”

“Oh, fuck Jimin then,” You hissed, going off topic from this insane fake dating ruse. 

“Come on, you know how it is. Sana and Jennie would act the same way. It’s like Yoongi said, the Lambdas defend me and the Tri Delts defend you. That’s literally how this entire mess started.”

You sighed, sitting back up and raking any stray pieces of grass out of your hair. You didn’t say anything, because you truly didn’t know what the correct response was. Sure, you knew that you needed to figure out a way to not get your chapters suspended… But this idea of pretending to get back together? You tried to imagine the reactions, but you just couldn’t, because again, this was fucking absurd. You were about to verbally reiterate this point once more when Jungkook continued. 

“Look, all I’m saying is that when we broke up they saw how bad our relationship got and they decided to defend us. Maybe if we pretended to get back together, just for a little bit, they’d finally back off because the entire reason they started fighting in the first place wouldn’t even be an issue anymore.” Jungkook shrugged. He fucking shrugged. 

“Do you even understand what pretending to get back together entails?” You began waving your hands around and pointing at your head, because maybe it would help get the point across somehow. “It means acting like we actually want to be together in public. It means no flirting or going home with people on campus or at parties because someone we know might see us. Would you actually be willing to go through that much effort?”

There was a pause and Jungkook just stared at you for a second, and then he started… smiling. This small, sad sort of smile. “What could it hurt to try?” 

You scoffed, and scoffed, and scoffed, because you just couldn’t form words. You had explained it as best as you could, but neither he nor Yoongi seemed to get it. This meant… hugging, touching, kissing, just to prove to people that this was real. That you weren’t lying. That you wanted to be with him… And that he wanted to be with you. 

You knew you hadn’t said anything in a minute or so, just lost in the details and implications of this scheme. You were only brought back to reality by Yoongi, speaking his piece once again. “Y/N,” He started, his voice quieter than it had been when he was excitedly explaining the idea before, “The worst thing that happens is they don’t believe you. But if you actually pull this off, you guys could save your chapters.”

Your mouth went firm and straight. The worst thing that could happen was the members not believing you? You had to stifle a laugh as you glanced towards Jungkook. No, that definitely wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. Not by a long shot. You knew why Jungkook didn’t see this as a terrible idea. He had nothing to lose, but you did.

However, in the end, you thought maybe the risk was worth it. Maybe this fucked up scheme could save you guys somehow.

“Uhm,” You finally started, clearing your throat to try and push your emotions back down into your chest. “So in the scenario that we actually tried this ridiculous plan… How would we go about telling everyone?”

You were staring at the ground, so you didn’t see what expression Jungkook’s face shifted into. You weren’t sure you wanted to know. Was it relief from having a shot at mending the relationship with your members? Or was it regret from you feeding into this idea that he hadn’t actually been taking seriously? 

“Well,” Jungkook started, and you still refused to look at him. “First of all, did you say anything about our talk last night to anyone?”

“Not really. I told Sana that it was ‘enlightening,’ and basically said the same to Jennie. What about you?”

“I told Jimin that we talked about our feelings.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’m sure he took that very well.”

“He was surprised…” Jungkook paused. “And I think that’s a good thing.”

You finally turned to look at him. “Why’s that a good thing?”

He stood up from his chair and held his hand out to you. You just stared at it for a second, confused at the kindness of the gesture before grabbing it and letting him help you up. He didn’t drop your hand even after you were standing up right, less than a foot of space separating you. 

“Because I think if our best friends look genuinely shocked by what we’re about to do, then it might be a lot more believable.”

Your face twisted in confusion. “Uhm, what’re we about to do?”

Jungkook pursed his lips, hesitant as he opened his mouth to reveal what he was thinking. “I think if we’re gonna pull this off, we need to… show them, not tell them.” It was instant, the way your hand trembled in his. Immediately he was squeezing around your fingers, silently trying to reassure you. “We don’t have to do this. It’s probably not even gonna work… But again, it’s just something to try.”

You knew you didn’t have to do this. You knew it was probably smarter not to do this. But some small part of you wanted to do this. Some stupidly hopeful part of you. 

You sucked a deep breath in through your nose and gave your bottom lip one hard, painful bite. “Fuck it, Kook.” You shifted your hand in his and interlocked your fingers. “Let’s do this.”

His eyes widened, the nickname slipping past your lips like the past two years never even existed. And then he was smiling, this pleasantly surprised smile that you hadn’t seen directed at you in what felt like an eternity. 

“I know it was my idea, but I can’t believe this is actually about to happen.” Yoongi was standing next to the two of you, hands holding either side of his face, like he was about to witness the ruse of the century. 

“Ready?” Jungkook asked. 

“I guess I am.” You shrugged, motioning towards the house. “Let’s do this.”

“Deep breath,” He said before inhaling, and you followed without hesitation. 

“Deep breath.” You nodded after you let the air slide past your lips. 

And then he was pulling you towards the house, hand in hand, the only thing keeping you from devolving into a panic attack was the way he kept squeezing your hand. 

You were approaching the fractured groups of people that stood outside of the sliding glass door, and all it took was one person to notice the two of you, and then suddenly people were pointing and staring, confused expressions appearing like a line of dominos, but you didn’t see any Lambdas or Tri Delts yet thankfully. Though, you knew that wasn’t going to last very long. 

You ignored the attention as best as you could as Jungkook opened the door and led you in through the back of the house. 

“So what exactly are we gonna do?” You whispered to him as you got closer to the living room; the main room of the house, with the most prying eyes. 

He slowed his walk and dropped your hand before placing his palm on your lower back as he continued to usher you forward into the wild circus the two of you were about to create. 

“I’m…” He paused as he pushed through the brush of people blocking the hallway until you were standing in the heart of the party. The lights in the house were all dimmed, but you still felt as though there was a bright, blinding spotlight on the two of you. 

“You’re gonna what?” You asked, looking around to find Lambdas and Tri Delts lounging in every corner. You started to fidget, wringing your hands and gritting your teeth until you felt someone lightly grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at them. 

“I’m gonna kiss you,” He whispered, hand dropping to cup the side of your face. “I’m gonna kiss you right now, okay?”

Your eyes widened a little, mouth parting. You knew earlier that was what he’d probably meant when he said to ‘show them,’ but now that you were actually here in the moment, with him so close to your face that you could feel his breath hitting your skin… You were freezing up. 

“I’m going to,” He said, leaning in closer. “If you changed your mind just push me back, because I’m really about to kiss you.” 

A small voice in your head replied that you really wanted him to, as sad as that was. But you kept that thought to yourself as you closed your eyes and said, “Do it.” 

His gaze dropped to your mouth and then he closed the gap, a gap that hadn’t been closed in over two years. His lips warm and soft, just like you remembered, suddenly pressing against your own. His hand slid to the back of your neck, the other coming to rest on your hip, the familiar motion in familiar places tugging your fingers like a magnet until they were twisting at the front of his shirt. 

You knew that this kiss needed to be believable. It couldn’t be over the top, like you were trying to put on a show, but it also couldn’t be stiff, like the two of you were forcing it. Which technically, you were forcing it. It was pre-planned and clinical… But it didn’t feel that way. 

You knew every tilt of his head before he decided to move, every light brush of his tongue before it met your own, every touch of his thumb before it grazed along the column of your throat. You knew everything. You remembered everything. And you wished you could say that there was at least one thing that was different. You wished you could say that when he hummed against your mouth, your stomach didn’t twist. But unfortunately, you couldn’t say that. Because it didn’t just twist — it warped into this undistinguishable, untangleable shape; one that you didn’t think anyone could ever hope to be able to unravel. 

It was getting tighter and tighter, tying a knot around your lungs. You thought you’d have to pull away, gasp for air, and maybe ruin this whole charade the two of you were putting on, but all you needed to do was try and focus a little less on Jungkook kissing and touching you, and you’d be able to hear the buzzing chatter that was already surround you on all sides. Your names being shouted in unison breaking you apart.

You pulled back, breath heavy and uneven as you stared at his mouth, and you were at the very least happy that he looked just as uneasy, his eyes dark and hooded and reflecting something that you couldn’t pinpoint. But you weren’t able to just sit there and stare at him forever. You had to face the consequences of what you’d done, and when you turned to face the congregating mob of Lambdas and Tri Delts, complete shock resting on every single one of their faces, you knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

“Y/N?!” People were shouting your name, dozens of them, and you couldn’t tell who they were, but your eyes were locking with two particular people whose voices pulled you straight to them; Sana and Jennie. 

“Jungkook, what the hell?!” Someone else said in the distance. 

“Okay, literally what the fuck is going on?” Everyone was saying something along these lines to the point that it was just a sea of expletives and confusion, but it was Jimin suddenly climbing on top of the one of the couches that caught the entire room’s attention. 

“I fucking knew it!” He yelled, shirt half-unbuttoned and clearly intoxicated as he jumped up and down on the cushions. “I knew something happened with you two last night, you bitch ass liar!” The upside to that proclamation was that it made this entire scene seem a whole hell of a lot more believable. 

“What happened last night?” Jennie asked, concern embedded in her features as she and Sana pushed to the front of the crowd. 

You couldn’t blame them for these over the top reactions, especially your best friends. They figured that you would tell them anything, and you would. If you actually managed to pull off this ruse, you were going to tell Sana and Jennie the details immediately. But you had to admit, Jungkook was right. Having your best friends raw reactions was making this seem more realistic and not as far-fetched. 

You glanced at Jungkook for a second, giving a small nod that said they were just going to have to improvise this as best as they could. 

“We… There was more to the talk last night than I told you,” You said, finally responding back to the random questions being thrown in every direction. 

“Yeah, I wanted to tell you, Jimin,” Jungkook started. “But it happened so suddenly, and I knew a lot of you guys weren’t going to understand, so we wanted to talk about how we were going to go about telling you guys about this,” He said as he grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers once more. The small gesture had people gasping as if that was more damning than making out. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sana rattled off, hands tangling in her hair like her head was about to overheat. “You guys are back together? Y/N, you didn’t say shit about this when I talked to you this morning.”

“I… we’re not back together… yet.” You squeezed his hand, silently telling him that you knew what you were doing. You thought saying you were completely back together was less believable than saying the two of you were simply talking again. “We’re just working through things, and I didn’t wanna jinx it when I was talking to you this morning, but I was going to tell you.”

You could see the hurt flashing through her eyes at you not telling her the truth, even though it wasn’t actually the truth. You wanted to pull her in and apologize, but she would know the actual circumstances soon enough.

“This is in-fucking-sane,” Taehyung said as he also stepped to the front. “Talking? If you’re doing that, you’re basically already back together.”

“Fuck, is that why you got pissed at me for making that comment about Y/N this morning, Kook?” Baekhyun shouted from the back. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know!”

This was actually going a lot better than you had anticipated. All of these tiny coincidences of what you had told your friends or the way the two of you had acted since yesterday were building up to be a pretty convincing lie. 

“You’re fine,” Jungkook shrugged. “You didn’t know — but now you do.” That last part came out a little more harsh; a believable act from the Lambda president. 

“I just don’t get it,” Joy said from somewhere in the middle of the crowd. “You just called him a lying piece of shit literally yesterday.”

Your jaw clenched. This was the part that had worried you the most, the fact that only yesterday the two of you had portrayed a relationship that wasn’t even slightly cordial, and now you were trying to say you had jumped right back into almost being in a relationship? It was a leap, but you were going to have to convince them to take the jump. 

“I know I said that,” You started, clearing your throat to try and sound louder and more confident. “But I only said that because I was feeling hurt. We ran into each other after everything that happened yesterday and apologized. We ended up hanging out the entire night and texting all day today, and… and we talked about things that we haven’t talked about in a really, really long time.” That part was true at least. “Honestly, we weren’t going to say anything for a while, because we thought it would be too sudden for you guys, but we’ve been drinking and we kind of just forgot about how you guys might react. I’m sorry it happened like this.”

Everyone was quiet for a second. You looked around and found a slew of people that belonged to neither house recording this entire debacle. You weren’t sure where the two of you should go from here. Should the two of you stay together for the rest of the night or should you go talk to your friends? You didn’t know the best route to take. However, you and Jungkook had to be the luckiest people in the entire world, because you had a friend like Yoongi, who not only gave you ideas that were so crazy that they just might work, but also could get you out of any hiccups that his said crazy plans might run into.

“So everyone knows about the happy couple now?” Yoongi threw his arms around you and Jungkook, a beaming smile staring out at the crowd of stunned Tri Delts and Lambdas. “Perfect, because I’m shit at keeping secrets.”

“Wait, you knew?” Jennie asked. 

“Yeah, they were both texting me this morning about all of their gross, mushy feelings.” He faked a gag for good measure. “You guys know I’m friends with both of them so they wanted an impartial opinion. Plus, as their very good friend I’ve wanted them to get back together since they broke up, so I may have pushed them along in the right direction.” You weren’t sure if that was what Yoongi actually felt or if he was just saying it for whatever reason. Either way, you were actually happy because it was only adding to the air of believability. “So instead of standing there like you’re devastated, maybe seem happy for this newly rekindled love?”

“Give us a minute,” Johnny said, his tall head poking up from the crowd in the back. “We’re in shock.” 

You finally let yourself look at Jungkook again. He was already waiting for you with a small upward tilt of his lips. To everyone else it probably just looked like a smile between two people who were reconciling, but to you it was a sign of victory. The two of you did it. They believed you — at least for now. 

“Okay, can we at least talk to you in private?” Sana asked, now that the crowd was starting to disperse to simmer over this newfound information. 

“Yeah, let’s talk.” You nodded and then turned to whisper into Jungkook’s ear. “I’m telling them the truth, but no one else.”

“Yeah, I’m telling Jimin and that’s it,” He murmured. 

“Okay,” You said and then quickly pressed a small peck to his lips before dropping his hand and immediately getting dragged away by your friends before you could say a single word. 

You spent the next half hour explaining to them every detail of the Great Greek Ruse Yoongi had cooked up, and by the end of it they were completely slack jawed before disintegrating into a fit of laughter at just how insane the two of you must have been to try and pull off something like that. 

Your only response to them being that there were only a few things in life that could end a war that was saturated in as much hostility as the one between the Tri Delts and the Lambdas; love being one of them — even if it was fake.  

 ———---

The party continued on after that. Your friends not allowing you out of their sights as they bombarded you with every idea that danced through their heads about how to keep the ploy of yours and Jungkook’s fake relationship up for as long as possible, and how the two of you were going to go about hooking up with people without everyone finding out. You were actually thankful for that, because you and Jungkook hadn’t gotten a chance to work out the logistics of how you were going to act in public. 

You simply listened as Sana and Jennie amused themselves with this situation that their best friend had gotten themself involved in when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled it out, Jungkook’s contact flashed across the screen with a text. You should probably get around to changing his contact name from ‘Jungkook the Jackass’ in case anyone ever caught a glance at your phone. Meet me out front, the text said. 

“I’ll be right back,” You told Sana and Jennie as you lifted yourself off of the couch. “I’ve gotta talk to Jungkook.”

“Tell your lover I said hello!” Sana chuckled, no longer having that hurt like in her eye from earlier now that she was in on everything. 

You quickly moved through the crowd of people that was now beginning to thin as the night got later and later before stepping past the front door. You looked around for a second before you noticed Jungkook standing at the base of the driveway waiting for you. He spotted you, motioning for you to come down. You wondered what he wanted. Probably to just gloat in relief that their idiot plan actually succeeded. 

“Hey,” You whispered as you decided to stand a little bit closer to him than you normally would just in case anyone was watching. “What’s up?” 

He looked around, presumably to make sure no one was in ear shot, and when he found that the coast was clear he turned towards you, an ecstatic grin staring at you. “I can’t believe that actually worked.” 

“I can’t either. Yoongi was right. They really are like toddlers.” You laughed. 

“Yeah, I mean we don’t know for sure yet if this is actually gonna stop them from fighting, but I saw some of the members who I know have had issues in the past actually talking, so I think that’s a good sign.”

“Yeah, I saw them too.” Lambdas and Tri Delts who had pulled some pretty spectacular pranks on one another seen speaking in what looked to be a respectful manner? A complete miracle. “How’d Jimin take the news?”

“Oh, he thinks it’s completely hilarious.” Jungkook chuckled. 

You smiled. “Sana and Jennie think the same.”

“I figured they would. Though seeing them that pissed off was kind of funny.” He paused, looking off into the distance before shoving his hand into his pockets. “But anyways, the reason I called you out here was to give you this.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and made a fist in front of you. You opened your palm to receive whatever he was trying to give you; a single key suddenly falling into your grasp. “I have a spare in my car, but that’s the key to my apartment — or I guess our apartment now.” He laughed, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. 

You had been so focused on the fake dating aspect of this predicament that you had almost forgotten about your living situation. You held it up between the two of you. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening. You were about to move in with your ex, while everyone except for your best friends believed that you were back together. 

“Are we really gonna do this?” You finally asked. 

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t be able to make it work. I think the past two days showed that we can be around each other and not act crazy.”

You agreed that things had definitely shifted, and not just because you had to pretend to be in a relationship now. You wanted to think that you could make it work, that you could put your petty, bitter ways behind you.

And when you told Jungkook that you felt the exact same way about making things work before leaving to go home for one of your last few nights in the Tri Delt house, you truly meant what you had said to him… But sometimes situations happen, and as they say, old habits die hard. 

--------

three days later

You were completely out of breath as you climbed the stairs to your new apartment building, about a dozen duffle bags filled with your various belongings were wrapped around your body as you tried to keep your phone smashed between your shoulder and your ear. 

“Why’d you decide to move out early?” Jennie whined from the otherside of the line. “Did you wanna get away from us that bad?”

You tried to muster a laugh as you attempted to make it up the final few steps without passing out. “Of course I wanted to stay longer, but both of my classes got cancelled, and I’d rather just get it over with than have to deal with it on a Friday like I was going to.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” She huffed. “But I’m still not happy about you having to live with the devil’s spawn.”

You tsked at her. “Hey, we’re all trying to get along now, remember?” 

“I know… But I’m still acting like a bitch to Jimin, I don’t care,” She added quickly. 

“Well, that one I’m okay with.” You chuckled. “But I just got to my apartment, so I’ll call you back in a little bit, okay?”

“Okay, talk to you later.” And then the line went dead and you were fishing for the key that Jungkook had handed you outside of Kappa Sigma on Saturday night. 

You couldn’t believe it had only been three days, but in those three days things had been going okay, actually. There had been no incidents involving either the Tri Delt or Lambda house, and after the everyday, non-stop antics from the past few years, that was as close to divine intervention as you could get. So yes, you could say that maybe you had developed a slight bit of optimism. Everything was working out at the sorority, you actually had a place to live — things truly were going well. But you should’ve known that when things were going well, Jeon Jungkook was always there to throw a wrench in your happiness, because as you wiggled the key inside of the lock and pushed your way inside, the last thing you had ever wanted to see in your entire life was staring right back at you. 

Your ex-boyfriend, who publicly was once again your actual boyfriend, whom you still had occasional feelings of longing for, was currently balls-deep in a girl on his living room couch — which was now also your living room couch.

The door slammed against the wall before you could stop it, both of their terrified faces suddenly turning to you as they immediately yanked a blanket over their naked bodies. 

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!” Jungkook yelled. “You said you were coming Friday!” 

You couldn’t help it. The tiny, petty demon you had tried to squash down in size over the past few days was suddenly bubbling over at the flare of emotions ricocheting inside of your head. Your teeth gritted together, eyes cutting daggers across his skin as you forced a saccharine smile as fake as this relationship. 

“Well, honey, I’m home now.”

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Quarantine Lovers (Part Two) | Charlie Gillespie

Part 2 in the “Life in Quarantine with Charlie” / “Quarantine Lovers” series! You can find part 1 HERE!! Hope you like this!

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x reader 

Warnings: Implication of sex, more sexually tinted scenes

A/N: I used some songs in this one too, none of which are mine. Full credit for those go to the creators of the songs! 

How Can I Say No To This? 

So far, quarantine with Charlie has been a blast. Though things are scary and you both get a little anxious at times, you still have each other, and for now, that’s all that counts. It’s all you have. But it’s more than enough. 

One day, when Charlie has back-to-back interviews, you -- being bored as hell -- figured it would be fun to surprise Charlie and you knew exactly how. There was only one person you could call to help you with it. Tori Caro. The two of you had talked on FaceTime before when Charlie had a bit of a reunion over Zoom with all of them and all of them wanted to meet you after Madi, Owen and Jeremy told everyone about you. 

“Hey, girl!” you greet when the girl appears on your phone screen. “Hey, Peaches!” she greets back, her smile nearly reaching her ears. “What’s up?” She settles herself onto her bed, leaning against the bedframe whilst holding her phone up to her face. 

“I am extremely bored and Charlie’s doing interviews all day, but I kind of had the idea to surprise him, which I need your help for.” Her eyebrows raise in intrigue. “Do spill.” You place your phone on the coffee table, letting it balance against a glass of water. 

“I want you to teach me Madi’s part of the choreo to Perfect Harmony, so when we listen to music while cooking tonight, I might be able to surprise him by doing the dance with him?” You explain, then laugh at yourself. “That sounds lame, doesn’t it?” 

“What? No! Not at all! I think it’s cute! I’ll definitely help you!” And with that said, the two of you spend about an hour teaching the choreography. “I bet he’s going to be extremely surprised by this, Y/N!” You giggle at her compliment, panting a little from the exertion. 

“Thanks, Tori!” You say when you hear the door to the studio/office open. You quickly take a seat on the sofa, grabbing your phone with you and sipping from the glass of water. 

“Please, film it when you do it!” she tells you, and you  just simply nod vigorously. When Charlie enters the living room,  you look up, offering him a smile. 

“Who are you talking to?” he asks with a smile before sitting down next to you and glancing at the screen himself. “Tori!” he exclaims excitedly, his face lighting up entirely. 

“Charlie!” Tori retorts, matching his level of enthusiasm. “How were interviews?” He wraps an arm around you as you lean further into his body, a habit you’ve accumulated over the course of being together. 

“Great! We’ve played a couple games as well. It was good fun!” He explains. Though there’s a smile on his face, you can tell he’s tired and would rather curl up on the sofa with you. 

“Hey, Tori. We’re gonna go, start on dinner and stuff,” you tell her, to which she shoots you a knowing look. “Thanks for helping me out.” 

“Helping you out with what?” Charlie asks, his fingers trailing up and down your arm. 

“Uhm… She helped me pick an outfit for our date tomorrow,” you lie. It’s a plausible lie. Ever since getting to know Charlie’s friends and cast members, you’ve been calling or texting the girls from the cast to ask for help with stuff like that. 

“Aw, that’s cute!” he says with that same, excited, beaming smile on his face. “You could come in pj’s for all I care, and you’d still look gorgeous to me.” Tori pouts at this, and awes loudly. 

“Alright, we’re gonna go and make dinner,” you say, patting Charlie’s thigh twice. “See ya, Tori!” You offer her a wave and the brightest of your smiles, Charlie doing the exact same. 

“Bye, Peaches!” You hang up the phone and get up from the sofa, turning to Charlie and reaching your hands out to help him up. 

“Do we have to cook? Can’t we order something?” he whines, placing his hands in yours. You pull him up to his feet, but don’t really move, causing there to be no space between you. 

“We’ve ordered last night,” you remind him and lace your fingers with his. “Besides, I already bought everything from the shops!” He widens his eyes, faking shock. “Yes, I went to the frontlines, to the most dangerous place on earth at the moment!” You retort dramatically before a giggle escapes you. Charlie lets out an airy laugh before dipping down and kissing you on the lips. 

“Alright, let’s get cooking!” He leads you towards the kitchen and starts grabbing everything the two of you need whilst you turn on the music. You’ve made a lockdown playlist together with all of your favorite songs, including the entire Julie and The Phantoms soundtrack, which is what it starts with; Now or Never. You quickly queue up a couple other songs before adding Perfect Harmony to that list too. The two of you sing along softly at first, until the chorus hit and you’re belting the lyrics at the top of your lungs. This has occurred a few times during lockdown already; the sing-and-dance-along parties in your pj’s or during cooking. 

By the time your pasta is cooking and still has about five minutes left, Perfect Harmony chimes through the speakers. Now’s your time to surprise him. 

“Step into my world Bittersweet love story 'bout a girl Shook me to the core Voice like an angel I've never heard before”

You turn him around and grab his hands, doing the choreography Tori has taught you today. He’s surprised, but dances along as if on automatic.

“Here in front of me They're shining so much brighter Than I have ever seen Life can be so mean But when he goes, I know he doesn't leave”

You push him away to the living room where he has a little more space to do the floor work he did on the show, and does it flawlessly. 

“The truth is finally breaking through Two worlds collide when I'm with you Our voices rise and soar so high We come to life when we're In perfect harmony”

He picks you up into the lift with ease, as though you’re as light as a feather. 

“Whoa-oa-oa, whoa-oa-oa Perfect harmony”

He looks at you in pure surprise and delight, softly singing the lyrics along with the audio. 

“Whoa-oa-oa, whoa-oa-oa Perfect harmony”

“Is that what Tori actually helped you with?” he asks when you reach the part without choreography since the song was cut shorter in the show. He’s still holding onto your hands.

“Yup,” you reply with a cheesy smile. “I was bored and wanted to learn that dance anyway since you and Madi made it look so cool on the show… Plus, I wanted to surprise you after your long day of interviews.” A tender chuckle erupts from his mouth as he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” he kisses your knuckles before turning you around, so you’re with your back pressed against his chest, and throws your hands up, continuing the choreo. 

“We say we're friends we play pretend You're more to me we create Perfect harmony”

He twirls you out and away from him until you reach the wall you carefully place your hands onto to stop yourself. 

“That’s such a fun choreo,” you say as you turn back to the pasta to check how it’s doing. 

“Yeah, I know,” he agrees whilst walking up to you and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. “Can I tell you a secret?” he whispers in your ear, then presses a kiss underneath it. 

“Of course,” you whisper back, trying to keep your composure. 

“I like dancing with you better than with Madi,” he lets out a giggle after, and it’s the cutest thing you ever did hear. “Don’t tell her.” You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him on the mouth softly. 

“My lips are sealed,” you say and kiss him once again. “With a kiss.” He plants his lips on yours again, for a longer, more passionate kiss this time. “Time for dinner,” you mumble against his lips. 

“I prefer starting with dessert,” he says. You giggle at his comeback, and squeal when he picks you up and brings you to the living room. 

“Charlie!” you protest, detaching your lips, “At least let me put the food off the stove so it doesn’t burn?” He retraces his steps backwards, and plops you back on your feet, so you can take care of the food. “All right, we’re good to go,” you say as you turn to him. “Catch me.” With no time left to think, you jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as you resume the passionate kiss from before. For once, you don’t mind starting with dessert before dinner. You’ve been bored all day without him, the least he could do is make it up to you… In bed… 

“People are asking to go live on Insta,” you tell Charlie when the two of you are back in the kitchen, heating up the food you’d left out. You didn’t even bother to put proper clothes on. You just grabbed the closest thing you found, which is Charlie��s Canada sweatshirt. 

“Yeah, sure, we could eat whilst chatting to them…” he says, grabbing two plates. After being introduced to the rest of the cast, you’ve been interacting with them a lot more on social media, and -- along with Madi’s blabbing in interviews about Charlie’s secret quarantine partner-- the fans have figured out it was you. And that the two of you are, in fact dating. Especially since Meghan, Charlie’s sister, couldn’t help but jokingly call you ‘sister-in-law’ when commenting on one of your pictures on Instagram. 

Charlie hands you his phone for you to set up the live whilst he grabs dinner from the microwave. 

“Okay, we’re live!” you exclaim when Charlie hands you the plate and a fork. “Thank, babe.” He takes a seat next to you on the couch and sets his plate on his lap. 

“Hello, people!” He greets the now about 1k people watching the live. You watch as a dozen of comments yell back at you that the two of you ‘definitely just had sex!’, and can’t help but giggle at that. “Do you guys have any questions for us?”

At the same time, Alexander Hamilton from the musical Hamilton starts playing through the speakers. You’d forgotten to turn the music off, but it’s quite nice having background noise all the time.

You gasp, capturing Charlie’s attention, and start singing along flawlessly. 

“The ten-dollar founding father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter”

Charlie looks at you with a surprised smirk on his face while the comments about Hamilton start streaming in, neither of you paying attention. 

“And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away Across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter”

You smile down at your boyfriend as he simply watches you in admiration while stuffing his mouth with pasta. 

“Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain”

The song goes on, but you turn to the phone to see what everyone’s been saying. You laugh when your eyes catch a comment. 

“Someone said ‘Get someone who looks at you the same way Charlie looks at Y/N’.” Others asked if you could do the rap from Guns & Ships, to which you replied with a determined “Yes! And Satisfied too!”  

“We’ve watched the movie on Disney Plus about a dozen times. Of course she knows it!” Charlie adds after swallowing his pasta. “Now eat your pasta before it gets cold!” You comply and eat your food whilst answering some of the questions here and there. Some of them are about Julie and The Phantoms, which Charlie answers, and others are about your relationship. Most of them want to know how you two met and how lockdown is going for you guys. All of which you answer very honestly, chiming in to add something when the other’s answering. 

“Ooh! Tori’s here!” you notice, “Hi, Tori! I’m sorry I didn’t film the surprise!” Tori comments, ‘BOO!’ in all caps, which makes you chuckle. And then all the questions about the surprise started flooding in. “Tori taught me the Perfect Harmony dance, and I surprised him with it when we were making dinner.” 

Everyone’s telling you to do it again, including Tori, so, you obey and put the song on again, showing what you did earlier that evening. 

“AMAZING!” Tori comments with a bunch of hearts plastered behind it. Some other fans comment something along those lines as well, others tell you they liked it better with Madi, but the bigger part of the comments tell you they think otherwise. 

Then, a One Direction starts to play, and you can’t help but sing and dance along from the couch, which gives you an idea. 

“Babe!” you exclaim, gripping his bicep, “We should show them what we do in Quarantine when we’re cooking meals!” Charlie chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “Yes! Come on!” You turn to the phone again. “Guys! Tell Charlie we have to show you what we do whenever we need a break from work or we’re cooking together!” Comments flood into the box at a fast speed, all of them saying “DO IT CHARLIE!”. 

So, with a groan, he gets up from the couch, taking the phone with him and placing it a bit higher, so you’re both in shot completely. 

“But I need you guys to vibe along, okay?” Comments of assent pile in, and Charlie turns the volume up a little whilst you get up too. The both of you start singing and dancing along to the One Direction song, knowing everyone at home is dancing with you. After that song, Dead Girl Walking from the Heathers musical starts playing. 

“Oh! Where are my Heathers fans?!” you ask the audience, glancing at the phone for all the Heathers comments to come in. “I saw the West End version when I was in London in 2018!” You tell them, and Charlie, though he knows that. 

“Yeah, I know, babe,” he tells  you with a smile before you turn back to him, standing in front of him with barely any space between you. He towers over you, like he always does, and it would normally get you weak in the knees, but not this time. Not with this song playing. 

“Ssh…” You press your finger to his lips, a teasing smirk tugging at your lips. 

“Had to see you hope I didn’t wake you See I decided I must ride you ‘til I break you” 

You wiggle your eyebrows, both of you knowing that already happened earlier. 

“‘Cause Heather says I gots to go You’re my last meal on death row Shut your mouth And lose them tighty-whities!” 

Charlie knew you could sing, but he had no clue you could hit notes this high. 

“Come on! Tonight I'm yours I'm your dead girl walkin' Get on all fours Kiss this dead girl walkin' Let's go, you know the drill I'm hot and pissed and on the pill Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!”

You see Charlie swallow visibly, glancing nervously at the phone filming all of this and decide to stop before he completely melts down into a puddle of sweat. Now or Never begins to play when you skip to the next song. 

Charlie’s demeanor suddenly changes and fully starts rocking out now, forgetting anything just happened mere seconds ago. You follow his example and start jumping around like a hyper rabbit. 

“When all the days felt black and white those were the best shades of my life!” 

You throw your hands up in the air at this, stopping the jumping. “That’s my favorite line ever!” you exclaim loudly, making sure the viewers hear too. 

Comments of agreement flash onto the screen as you and Charlie lapse into the bridge. 

The next song is one of your favorite Hamilton songs to belt; Say No To This. Though not your favorite scene from the musical, it is still one of your favorite songs. 

“You know this one, baby!” You say to Charlie. 

“No, I can’t, I can’t do--” he cuts himself off and starts singing along with Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

“That’s when miss Mariah Reynolds walked into my life, she said,” he points at you, telling you to take over. 

“I know you are a man of honor I'm so sorry to bother you at home But I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone”

“She said”

“My husband's doin' me wrong Beatin' me, cheatin' me, mistreatin' me Suddenly he's up and gone I don't have the means to go on”

He struggles with the next line, not knowing the musical quite as well as you do. 

“You're too kind, sir,” you sing anyway with a smile on your face. He does know the next line. 

“I gave her thirty bucks that I had socked away She lived a block away, she said”

“This one's mine, sir”

You try your best to imitate Jasmine Cephas-Jones’ husky, warm tone. 

“Then I said, "Well, I should head back home She turned red, she led me to her bed Let her legs spread and said”

“Stay”

“Hey”

“Hey”

Then both of you started to sway back and forth, twirling around the living room, singing along to the ‘no’s and ‘go’s from the ensemble. 

“Ooh! This is my favorite part!” you say excitedly, preparing yourself for the belts. 

“No, sir”

“Half dressed, apologetic, a mess, she looked pathetic, she cried”

“Please don't go, sir” 

“So was your whole story a setup?”

“I don't know about any letter”

“Stop crying God dammit, get up”

“I didn't know any better”

“I am ruined”

“Please don't leave me with him, helpless”

“I am helpless, how could I do this?”

“Just give him what he wants and you can have me” 

“I don't want you, I don't want you”

“Whatever you want, if you pay You can stay”

You grasp Charlie’s bicep as a support to keep your balance while you throw your head back to belt out the note. This shuts Charlie up entirely, impressed with your singing abilities. 

“I knew you could sing, but damn, babe, you got pipes!” He turns to the phone where fans voice their impression and awe, complimenting your voice. 

Connecting with Charlie’s fans and doing things like this with Charlie is literally one of your favorite things you’ve ever done. There’s nothing better than rocking out with a bunch of friends, even if you don’t see 2k of them. 

“Alright, guys,” Charlie says, turning down the volume after a few more songs, “We’re gonna go.” He wraps his arms around your waist from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder to peer at the screen. “Thank you for jamming out with us today! We’ll see you later!” You offer a smile and a wave before ending the livestream. 

“That was fun!” You exclaim excitedly, bouncing up and down as you make sure to save the video onto his IGTV. Charlie turns you around, placing his hands on your hips and pressing a kiss to your forehead. When you’re done, you lock his phone and put it into his pocket, looking up at him with a happy smile on your face. 

“Can you hit that last note again?” he asks with hope in his eyes. 

“That gets you going, doesn’t it?” You wiggle your eyebrows as a teasing smirk creeps onto your face. He bites his bottom lip, which to be fair, gets you going. So, you cough and place your hands under his biceps on his ribcage, gripping at his shirt tightly. “Just give him what he wants and you can have me. Whatever you want, if you pay, you can stay!” 

“We ought to get you on season two,” he whispers before crashing his lips onto yours for a passionate kiss that leads you straight to the bedroom again. 

“How can I say no to this?” You mumble against his lips cheekily. 

This lockdown and quarantine thing isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. If you’ve got Charlie by your side, you’re good to do anything. 

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug​

[stargirlwnchstr]

I have a visual to share with y'all. Say welcome to my long ass 'The Foxes + tiktok' headcanon

@ nickythefox_es (part 1???)

Basically Nicky gets tiktok but all of the foxes show up eventually and just use his profile.

• Most of the videos are with nicky and allison, also matt and dan and occasionally neil.

• Allison and nicky learn so many dances.

• Their duet of make his pockets hurt with Mariah and Zane from the vlog squad is the first one to go v i r a l.

• Yeah most of their followers know them but some and a lot of the comments are non exy fans that just watch them because they're cool

• So many of the "what is exy" "stickball game??" "dont even bother explaining to me what is the sport they play I dont care I'm just here for neil." And related comments get a liked from creator (andrew told nicky to like them)

•The "Oh my god she's coming." "I'm so afraid of her." Audio are the twinyards and nicky shows up, he had to bribe them to be a part of that one.

• They post another version but it's Kevin that enters and Allison and Nicky talking

• So many comments thirsting over them and calling matt and dan parents

• "the real bisexual struggle is simping for matt and dan in the same tiktok." -> liked from creator nickythefox_es commented/replied: ASDGFKSSDWADKWB

• Someone makes a 'put a finger down: Neil Josten edition' and nicky drags him to do it. They both smile as they listen to the prompts and Neil obviously puts all his fingers down but they're like "put a finger down if you clapbacked/if you bad mouthed someone (bonus points if it was on national tv)" "put a finger down if you're under 6 feet" "put a finger down if you love exy" and the last one just says "put a finger down if andrew minyard." Neil does and smiles at someone off camera. Needless to say it goes viral as well. A few weeks after nicky gets verified.

• Allison becomes friends with thenavarose and wisdom sorry I dont make the rules (they're fashion tiktokers)

• They make a series of rating each of the foxes throughout the day, including one of Wymack.

• They do receive bad comments, from bitter ravens fans or just recalling their pasts and nicky sits down and makes a video telling everyone about how they do this videos for fun they dont need hate and negative comments on their videos and all that

• Then another one posted minutes after, neil comes in and nicky says "okay neil you have one minute. Rant off." And neil goes on this rant like how they already hit Rock bottom a single comment is not gonna hurt them and "do you get how insignificant and meaningless your lives must be? You took the time to write and post a comment that you thought was gonna cause an impact and failed. Also thanks for the comments though it helps nicky stay on the algorithm." NICKY SCREECHES AND THE VIDEO ENDS WITH THEM SMILING

• Allison vlogs neil and her going shopping or thrifting also cutting Neil's hair

• *neil walks into the room wearing his orange bandana* *camera moves and zooms on Andrew's face* he doesnt lip sync but the song sings "oh noo I think I'm catching feelings" andrew tells him to delete it "but it already has thousands of likes andrew"

• They post some of their work out routines per request

• One of them is the fast and "I'm spinning like a ballerina" chill of neil just running on the treadmill and doing sprints and squats and leg stuff while it cuts to allison doing a bit of everything but looking like a queen on a matching set.

• A fun one that goes viral for "vine energy" is: it's very quiet on the court and Kevin, very in the zone, throws the ball to the goal, which Andre's catches easily and almost without moving. The camera goes back to kevin as he screeches and let's himself fall on the ground. Neil is standing beside him shaking his head and looking at the goal with a smile on his face.

• They try to teach neil the dances but while filming one of them he just leaves. They post it either way.

• They're in the bus, nicky is on selfie mode and says "it is game day my dudes" he turns and shows the whole bus S C R E A M S, in the corner Wymack is covering his face.

• The iconic "they say drunk thoughts are sober words" or something like that and it cuts to a series of videos of the foxes drunk af. Example: Nicky grabbing Allison's face and saying 'Remember. Bread. Head. Leave.' And allison nodding.

• Nicky films kevin standing up and put the "do you ever wonder what is going on inside their head?" And it cuts to pictures of racquets and exy and Jeremy Knox and one that says history stuff.

• Another one that goes viral is kevin very seriously and p e r f o r m i n g, rapping Jefferson's side of the cabinet battle #1 from Hamilton then towards the end andrew stands up in front of him and with his iconic bored expression he starts rapping Hamilton's part. Behind the camera there's a soft "...oh my gOD" and kevin is shocked eyes widen open and then the camera zooms on Neil who's mouth is open in shock but GRINNING and ~impressed~

• Dan and matt do The challenge, you know the one that like has to flip them over and all that and they ace it, nicky points the camera to where andrew and neil are stating and Andrew says no.

• A few minutes later another video of the challenge is posted only this time is matt and neil.

• Nicky and allison are in full gear filming a dance video (maybe savage or captain hook) on the court and someone films them filming that and then Wymack looking at them SO disappointed cut to Wymack with nicky's phone, having confiscated it and nicky besides him "coach, it's cardio!"

• Hours spent trying trick shots

• Foxes: "get back! Move!" Ravens: "Let me in! I be the I g g y!" Trojans: "Oh my God do no let her in" Foxes: "I am trying!"

• Nicky lying down: "okay but someone needs to tell me how old is the shirtless pottery guy. I can't be part of another controversy. It's for science c'mon. *debby Ryan's*"

• Someone comments "he's eighteen. Simp away, nicky." And he makes a video with his feet swinging and smiling. Aaron gets on the frame and says "we are deeply in need of some bowls." The caption: hi @ papapots

• They are verified so obviously he gains a couple of thousands followers and he duets smiling and with a package in his arms. Text: thanks for the support (and hi new followers from sport side of tiktok hope you enjoy my pots) caption: hi @ nickthefox_es I got you aaron.

• After the package comes they duet it with nicky screaming and showing off the goods and then he moves stop show andrew eating ice cream out of one of them. Caption: AJSNEPWLDKSS THANK YOU DAX

• Allison and nicky do the "I love you!" "No you dont topper! You love the idea of me. You love being seen with me but you dont love me." But nicky is Sarah and allison is topper. Next day the obx ig page reposted it "we stan the psu foxes pogues for life." And chase stokes posts it on Twitter saying "yoo the palmetto foxes watch??? my show???" Nicky takes a screenshot and on green screen he says "hi chase!! We do! The whole team binged it. Currently we've been debating who of us is going to dress up as pogues for Halloween." A lot of voices start arguing and as nicky is gonna enter the debate the video cuts.

• Allison does the facetime *deep male voice says hey* prank on them. Neil doesnt react. Nicky doesnt look up from his phone but does the finger thing and says "get that d, allison!" Dan and renee look at each other and then at allison and she bursts out laughing.

• aaron studying to be a doctor: *two plus two is four etc sound* andrew (eating pretzels from the bag while watching a game show lying down in a bean bag) and his eiditic memory [basically not needing to study]: *three is a magic number sound*

• Nicky runs through the court and enters the lounge beside the photo wall there's a poster he shows the camera as the sounds says it "alive ahaha fuck"

• Somehow they convince all of them to show up and do the wipe it down trend that ends up with wymack throwing the towel at the mirror.

• Comment: so how many members of the team listen to girl in red or sweater weather? Nicky stands there with the color filter: 👁👄👁👉👈 caption: yes❤

• He gets neil to duet to the whole "british people be like". "Neil I'm not british." "Part of you is so just read the tweets." He does and the comments are all thirst and simping

• Comment: raise your hand if you've been victimized by neil josten. Where my fellow Simps at? (The comment gets hundreds of thousands of likes) they make a video, everyone on the team except aaron who walks out raises their hand as the sound says "welcome to simp nation" kevin rolls his eyes but raises his, says something that nicky captions "i simp over his exy skills". andrew doesn't at first, but next to him neil whispers something and after andrew says yes, neil grabs Andrew's forearm and raises it. Andrew looks away and neil smiles.

• Nicky lying down: okay but what if Jean moreau traded places with the french guy from here you know who, david.

• Comment "ugh your mind nicky" reply video: right? Big brain, many thoughts, head full all the time. But like actually the idea of david playing exy and Jean hanging out with ducks and making viral tiktoks just-

• Comment "i feel you and @ austincantdrive would make the best chaotic duo" reply: we would be too powerful together. Austin replies too: agree.

• Allison makes a sports jersey/comfy wear but make it fashion and she styles herself. Everyone on the comments d i e s for her.

• Comment "okay but what about the boys. help allison." She makes a video too with matt and nicky and at the end neil wears an orange crop top and the internet b r e a k s

• Comment "allison do you listen to girl in red?" video reply: her winking at the camera and lip syncing as sweater weather plays. The comments a lot of them liked by creator: a win for the girls (and the boys)

• Upperclassmen Back in 2003: okay but hey do we always have to be involved? Can we do normal stuff that normal people do, like, go for brunch? Us (aaron, andrew, kevin and me): what the fuck is brunch?

• Of course they do the mr blue sky trend. Nicky: drunkenly goes to flirt with a guy. Aaron: drunkenly follows to get away from kevin. Kevin: drunk on pure vodka reminds us we have practice in the morning.

• Or another one all of them. Neil: ready to insult a reporter. Dan: tries not to laugh on camera. Matt: gets ready to hug him afterwards Allison and Nicky: Filming everything. Wymack: the only one trying to stop it from happening and failing.

• Dan and matt duet their reactions to every video edit of them, smiling and saying "your parents love you guys!".

• Comment "literally what is wrong with the ravens/ravens fans?The foxes are such a nice group of people and they're doing great in the sport y'all worship just shut up you cult-y athletic hype house." video reply: "ladies and gentlemen. The volume inside of this bus is A S T R O N O M I C A L."

• comment video reply: okay so we're not gonna talk about nicky at the gym?? Bc C A K E. nicky lip syncing "I'm glad you brung it up because I've been dying to talk about this for a fucking hot minute. First of all-"

• Colin uses one of Neil's or Andrew's interviews replies as one of his sounds and nicky fanboys a lot

• Allison and nicky do the Kardashian sound compilation.

• Nicky with a picture of Erik on green screen: "hi I just wanna say if you look anything like this please contact me. Thank you." Caption: miss u baby. And Erik watches his tiktoks and he facetimes him immediately. Nicky takes a screenshot and duets his own video crying with the screenshot caption: SKALSBSKAJSL Erik comments: stop making tiktoks and answer the phone, hemmick. Nicky replies: yessir everyone below comments keyboard smashes and you got a good one. Goals. Lmao kids that's what we call bottom panic. We stan one healthy long distance relationship and after that a bunch of long distance relationship questions that he makes another video on.

• A video of Katelyn and neil chatting and it pans to the twins watching them with the *when worlds collide sound*

• He reposts a snippet of one of his interviews post game where he grabs the mic from the reporter and nicky: can I say something? Reporter: sure, go ahead. Nicky: thank you. *looks straight into the camera* all the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them and replacing them with spies that are now watching us. The birds work for the bourgeoisie. Thank you." And leaves. IT GOES VIRAL INSTANTLY.

• Comment "is everyone else gonna forget that tiktok where he said he was already part of a controversy? We stan a problematic icon?" Video reply: guys I might have been part of a whole Twitter beef thing against my little hoodie and Bruce hallway but c'mon, like, c'mon you can't blame me.

• Comment "for neil: does the carpet match the drapes 👅😍?" Video reply: neil on selfie mode. "Allison gave me her phone, told me to answer this and ran away so umm." He reads the box on the screen and frowns he walks and stands next to the window, where Andrew is sitting down and is barely seen on frame. "uhmm, the internet is confusing. Our carpet is like this" he turns the phone and shows the floor (grayish carpet) and then back at him "but we don't have drapes so, technically they don't match, I dont know." Andrew's head goes up and simply says "Neil." Neil turns "what?" And the video ends.

• of course nicky and allison do the WAP dance, on the court, when they should be running drills.

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

The Musician Next Door

[Close enough for me, Gif credit to @jensenacklescious]

Square: Vancouver ( @supernatural-jackles tell a story bingo)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Summary: The reader is an extra on Supernatural, and has a musical talent. But little did she know her music attracted the attention of her neighbor.

Warnings: Nothing bad, just fluff, sweet music (I recommend searching on YouTube to listen to while reading), and some comedy.

Word Count: 1,860

Main Masterlist

Bingo Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

A/N: A small teaser of a possible series I have in mind thanks to Jensen’s recent Instagram post. But this is not going to be the series, it’s something similar. But still, I hope you like it. :3

~

She’s always wanted to come to this city. Well she’s always wanted to go to Canada, Vancouver was just the plus side.

And, an ever more plus side was the job she managed to grab. An extra on her favorite show. Supernatural.

Sure it was its last and final season and they were finishing up but with having a limited number of extras due to the pandemic she was one of the few they needed.

She drove down the towns streets, seeing it’s lights shimmer in the night. Making her smile softly at the scenery. Another reason she loved Vancouver. It was such a beautiful city.

She got to her apartment complex, the same one her friend lived in. And she learns quickly who her neighbors are.

After getting rather bored on day 3 into quarantine, she looked at her music set. She knew how to play piano and guitar.

She turns on the electric piano, picking the grand piano setting she begins to play with a few keys. Playing nonsense sounds, but a pleasant melody.

She then began leading into one of her favorites. Her favorite anime show, Inuyasha, playing his lullaby piano song.

Playing at the pace of the song, relaxing as she continued to play. After finishing one verse she began singing lightly with the music.

She began to slow the music as it came to a close. She paused for a brief second before playing more.

She began to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sentra first movement. And blending the end of it with Supernatural’s Dean’s Family Dedication Theme song.

A tear slipping down her cheek as she remembers this is the last time the show will air. She knows how it will end. They all knew. She doesn’t like it, but she didn’t voice it.

She finished the song with a nice peaceful and gentle end. Till her phone buzzed.

“That was beautiful sweetheart, can I make a request?”

The number belonging to Jensen Ackles. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Turns out he was her neighbor. Who would have thought she had an audience of one listening.

“Sure, what would you like to listen to me play…or attempt to play?” she texts back.

She saw him read it quickly before seeing the jumping three dots, showing he’s typing something.

“I am working on a song for my second album, if I send you a sample of it, could you try to bring it to life on the piano?”

Her heart rate skyrocketed. A song that hasn’t even been released yet, but also still in the works she was going to listen to.

“Sure, let me see what you got.” She texts.

He sent her the audio file to her phone promptly, playing it on her headphones, she can hear the notes coming to her.

Giving it a few play throughs, listening intently to the notes on the guitar, his words being sung. She looked at her keys on her piano and began playing around. Until she found the right notes.

Learning the piano, she didn’t learn the traditional way. She taught herself. Just messing around on the family’s grand piano, she learned the simple twinkle little star. Then an armature Amazing Grace. She had an ear for music, she let the music flow through her like wind blowing through her hair. The way the breeze felt on her skin. Making music felt like that to her.

She began playing the song, even singing the song to help her timing with the next verse and the next verse after that.

Once finished, she noticed it had gotten late.

“It was nice playing for you Jay, but I need to head to bed.”

“Okay, goodnight. Sleep well.”

 All throughout quarantine she had been playing with her instruments. Entertaining Jensen mostly, but it also relaxes her.

But on their first day on set, after being tested and gotten the okay to head on the sound stage for blocking she went to see Jensen.

Seeing him and Jared walking together to the sound stage, she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself at how much like brothers they were.

“There she is the little musician next door.” Jensen says, coming to her, wrapping an arm around her.

“He told me you play piano, do you really?” Jared asked.

“I do a little bit; it’s been a while.”

“Well, it’s like riding a bike. You never forget. You were so good.” Jensen comments.

“Aw, thanks Jay.”

“Got any new songs to play tonight or…can I make a request again?”

“You can always make a request. Besides, I was writing this song and I just need to get the notes right, the words right and then I’m posting it to my YouTube Channel.”

“Doing YouTube now, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m trying it out. I can’t seem to enjoy a single day job I get. I enjoy jobs like this. Acting, where I can tell a story. Writing, where I can create the story. Music, just creating good sounding, relaxing and calming music.”

“You are such an amazing creator; I think you’ll do great as a YouTube creator.”

“You think so?”

“Totally, right Jare?”

“For sure, hey, do vlogging, give us a behind the scenes.”

“I’m not sure about vlogging, that requires being in front of the camera.  And I’m so camera shy.”

“Yet you’re an extra on Supernatural.” Jensen smirks.

“Okay, maybe…I don’t know what it is. But I just don’t want to vlog, okay.”

“It’s okay.” Jared says.

 Later that day, she can’t get her thoughts together back at the apartment. She paced back and forth. From the kitchen to the balcony and back around. She was beyond distracted.

“Jay, are you available for hanging out for a little. I can’t focus.” She texts him.

A moment passes when she thought he might have been busy.

“Yeah, just had to get a pizza out of the oven. Want to come over and just chill for a bit?”

“Sure, I just can’t focus on my music right now.”

“It’s fine. Come on over.”

Putting on her shoes she walks over next door to Jensen’s apartment.

Knocking on the door she hears his dog barking.

“Quiet Icarus.” She could hear him beyond the door shushing his dog. Making her chuckle.

“Hey,” he says opening the door. “Come on in.”

She enters, taking her shoes off at his door.

“Want some pizza?”

“Sure,”

Jensen grabs two plates out, giving each two slices of pizza. And walking over to the couch. Turning on his apple tv.

He turns it onto Netflix, Orange is the new black.

But halfway through his second slice he notices she’s not paying attention to the tv. But instead is looking outside. Eating in silence.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks kindly.

“A lot. Stuff going on at home. This whole YouTube thing being real, I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It just seems like I’m just going with it.”

“Nothing wrong with going with the flow. But, this stuff at home, how bad is it?”

“It’s nothing bad, I can handle it. it just takes a lot of mental power to get myself past it. You know.”

“For sure.”

They sat back in silence.

“Here, how about we go for a little walk on the town. That should help relax you a bit.” Jensen suggests, as he finishes his pizza. Y/N not even halfway through her first slice.

“Where to?”

“Nowhere, just out for a little relaxing walk. Come on, and grab a jacket it’s supposed to be a little chilly.”

 Jensen may not have had a destination in mind, but he knew one place that would help her relax.

The ports, anywhere where there was ocean. He noticed in her posts on Instagram, when she’s at a tropical beach she looks relaxed and at peace with everything. And she knew deep down, once she saw the sun setting by the waters and seeing what they were walking up towards, she knew that he knew.

She felt herself calm at the sight.

“See, you look relaxed already.”

“Thanks Jay, I really appreciated this.”

“It’s not a problem.” he says. Leaning kissing her atop her head with an arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“That jacket’s not warm enough, is it?”

“No, not really.”

A small shiver shook through her as she said that.

He chuckles. “Lets get you home and warm you up.” he says, leaning in, pecking a sweet kiss on her cheek. A centimeter too close to her lips.

Y/N looked up at him with a smirk.

“What was that?”

“It was a kiss, why…”

“You were a bit close to my lips Jay…are you trying to tell me something?” she gives him a playful smirk.

“Okay,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I may like you, since the first day you and I met on set. You kind of took my breath away.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as her face heated up at the comment. Making Jensen smile with a chuckle.

“I, uh…I like you too Jay. I thought it might be a crush thing but, it just wouldn’t shake. I really, really like you.”

Jensen had a smile that went from ear to ear. He brought her in a tight embrace, holding her close.

“I know what you’ve been through. And I want to be there for you, to help you through it all.” He says.

“Thank you Jay, I want to be there for you too.” She says.

She pulls away slightly to look up at him. She could see his eyes glide down from her eyes to her lips as he slowly leans in. Planting a soft kiss fully on her lips.

Their lips moving in a soft dance with each other, his tongue grazing her bottom lip silently asking for permission. She parts her lips at the right moment to allow him in and dominate her mouth in the kiss.

Just when their kiss grew hungry, and their skin began to heat up at the attraction and arousal.

“Finally!”

They pulled away, stunned at the exclamation. Seeing Jared walking down the sidewalk, facetime on revealing Misha.

“It’s about time you two got together!” Misha shouted on the phone.

Y/N’s face heated up once again, hiding against Jensen’s chest. Jensen chuckling.

“Yeah, finally you two can stop with the longing stares and the…does she like me? Does he like me?” Jared says.

“How’d you know we came down here?”

“I didn’t, I saw you and I saw her, and I couldn’t help myself.” Jared smiled.

The couple chuckling.

“You two were being such idiots.”

“Well, we can be idiots together, now, do you mind?” Jensen says.

“Oh, right, get back to making out with your girl. See you two on set, you better have hickey’s to show for it!” Jared shouts as he walks away.

Jensen and Y/N just rolling their eyes, giving each other a quick chaste kiss before walking back to the apartment.

Only he walked back with her to her apartment and sat with her as she played her music, even joining in turning it into a sweet duet.

~

a/n: What’d you think? Let me know, feedback is always appreciated.

~

Dean/Jensen Girls:

@pandazombie69, @luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @jayankles, @winchesters-favorite-girl, @mlovesstories, @akshi8278, @flamencodiva, @megzdoodle, @anotherspnfanfic, @misfit0118, @shawnie74, @missmemoire09, @racetrackheart, @spnbaby-67, @moonlight-on-her-skin, @backseat-of-deans-67chevy, @salt-n-burn-em-all, @lyarr24​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 4/17/2021

[onyourzeus]

• certainty | kyh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: certainty pairing: kang younghyun (youngk of day6) & you genre: FLUFF words: 2.6k

author’s note: requested by @strxwberrifields :’) thank you so much for fueling the idea for this prompt. i think i strayed away a little, though, i’m sorry! i hope it is still enjoyable. also, youngk’s cover of when you love someone was playing while i wrote this, it helped set the mood a ton. (listen to it, you won’t regret it)

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

there’s something about being in love 

that you can’t put into definitive words 

it’s so sickeningly cliche, you know that

there’s nothing more annoying than hearing 

someone gush about their significant other 

over and over and over— we get it! you’re in a relationship and it’s great and just

don’t rub it in, please 

kidding aside

—you don’t think your relationship with younghyun is like that 

if anything, you feel somewhat lacking in telling him how much you love the guy

dating a pretty famous bassist, idol, vocalist, business admin major—

scratch that. dating someone like younghyun is already out of the ordinary for you 

and so you can’t help but feel… insecure, at times

or feeling left out from his idol circle and the fact that 

you can never bring yourself to fully immerse in it like he does

you don’t blame him!! you never blame younghyun for who he is 

it’s just a bizarre concept to find yourself even crossing paths with the now love of your life

for almost a year, might you add

the thought still sends goosebumps all over your skin

and a silly smile that gets you weird looks when you’re in public 

man, if they knew who that smile was about

who your heart is for

they’d be jealous, duh

or judge you because— 

you? with a guy like him? scoffs 

you should get out of your head sometimes, it’s healthy (try it, please) 

you’re good to younghyun, right? you think you are

a guy like him is smart enough to know what’s good for him… right? 

STOP IT STOP you have a mission to do today

and that’s to bring the very same guy—  

(plaguing your mind and disrupting the rhythm of your heartbeat every waking second)

—his lunch today

it’s just him in the studio; him and his bandmates have been doing their own thing for a few months now

which is a refreshing change of pace for everyone, you heard  

but work is still work; and younghyun is recording yet another single to upload sometime soon

you’re excited, and jealous of how his mind works 24/7

but with that much thinking and execution comes a lot of hunger; and younghyun is not immune to not having an appetite

man’s stomach is the blackhole, anything that goes in there is nowhere to be found

(as if it never came in the first place)

you text him you’re by the entrance, and there’s a lot of typos

“hrre> i hv lunch. its heavy”

you know he won’t respond because there is no second wasted recording; you still do it, anyway 

just in case

you’re greeted by a few people working in the bldg, some of them recognize you already which you’re still shy about 

finally, you enter his studio, careful not to topple over the take out stuff you have in the bag

as expected, younghyun is inside the soundproof room where the ~*~magic~*~ happens, eyes closed and headphones on

immediately, your heart soars at the sight of him. it’s not a new thing for you to see him in his workspace

but it’s always a new feeling to watch how he lets the music flow in his presence

he can’t hear you but you’re careful in taking out bowls of ramen, broth, rice, and other side dishes on the coffee table. he’ll probably be done in a few minutes—

door opening louder than you anticipated

“you’re here!! and there’s FOOD,” younghyun exclaims, the headphones slung around his neck with the cord hanging in midair

you’re shook at his speed, but then again the one thing he loves the most is right in front of him

yep: food 

you laugh, greet him with a kiss on the cheek (that warms your own face up, you’ll never get used to doing that) and let him know about his probably expensive headphones just dangling around

“eh who cares,” younghyun casually shrugs but you keep reprimanding him with an expectant look 

“fine fine, i’ll put them down safely”

“good, have you eaten today?” 

“yep but that was like an hour ago” 

that’s younghyun for you, and you expected it. so you tell him to dig in

“it’s from the ramen place we tried a month ago, thought you’d want some soup since it’s getting colder”

his eyes light up like a kid opening his birthday present which he already knew what would be inside

“this is amazing, babe, thanks!” he reciprocates your kiss on the lips this time: short but sweet 

you squeal, and temporarily feel calm and collected about his “approval” 

you sit next to him, just watching him attack the noodles first, then slurping the broth with utmost grace (spoiler alert: he is chowing down like it’s his last meal)

and yet you’re falling so deeply in love again as you try to picture the image of him happily eating in your mind, framing it and keeping it stored there safely

“you’re not eating?” he asks in between bites of kaarage and takoyaki. it was practically a meal for three

you shake your head. “i ate before coming here” which wasn’t a lie, and he’d know if it was since he’d hear your stomach grumble 

but that takoyaki sure looks tasty… 

“wh—” younghyun shoves one right inside your mouth, chuckling as he watches you struggle to chew it so suddenly 

“you know you wanted some,” he teases. pouting, you finish the takoyaki before trying to defend yourself

but younghyun had something else up his sleeve; or rather he grabs a tissue and dabs it on the side of your cheek

“someone was hungry,” he sing-songs, slanted eyes glinting with amusement

“you have the nerve to say that considering you finished a full course meal!” you sneer at him, feeling his gentleness as he wipes your cheek clean

you keep bantering back and forth like that; it’s natural, it’s what you like about your relationship

he finishes and it hasn’t even been an hour since you got here. someone can study this man’s digestive system and find new wonders of the human body in him 

buuuut you kinda wanna keep younghyun to yourself for now— as much as you can, really, seeing as he’s an idol… 

“that was sooo good,” he sighs, leaning back against the couch with one hand around your shoulders

you rest your head against his, cradling up to his warmth

he’s so cuddly when he’s just finished eating

not to mention

“zzz”

“younghyun, you have a song to record!” you shake him awake, and he’s not kidding either

the man just falls asleep! 

“mm five minutes…” he dozes off, hugging you even closer to him. both arms around your frame this time

now that you’re face to face, you can clearly see the exhaustion smearing his perfect features

without make up on, his eyelids are veiny, there’s a shadow underneath them and his face just physically looks dull 

the more he eases into you, the heavier his body feels sinking into the couch

and your heart sinks with it

younghyun works so incredibly hard— literally every single day, there is no stopping him from creating and doing and sometimes

you just want to tell him to slow down, pause for a moment

it makes your chest tighten, to think that younghyun thinks time is moving so fast for him

that he needs to accomplish so much before time runs out

you lift your hand up and card your fingers through his hair (he had it dyed black recently, and you’re all for it) 

he hums in satisfaction and nuzzles his head against you even further

then, you move your hand over to his cheeks, tracing its height and going over the tip of his nose

boop

and steal kiss 

he can really fall asleep like this, right next to you

you might doze off with him too 

but, just like younghyun, true to his word— 

he’s awake and back into recording mode less than ten minutes later

he stretches like a cat, and leaves you bewildered at the amount of energy he’s recharged himself with in such little time

“you give me energy, what can i say?”

“shut up” 

he tries to clean up the empty bowls and used utensils, but you shoo the musician away

“go. work, i’ll handle this” he knows he can’t argue with you on that

it makes you feel useful to him, somehow, just doing these little things to accommodate for his lifestyle

you wonder if it’s enough

you spend the rest of the afternoon in the studio. while he records and edits and goes back to recording, you brought your laptop to do some work remotely

he lets you hear some of the recorded lines he’s done, and you nod your head all the time and say they sound perfect, they sound like him

he doesn’t really like that

“there’s bound to be something that’s missing. what else would you have liked to hear from this verse?”

he looks so serious, brows knitted, lips curled forward whenever he listens to himself in the audio

you feel bad; you don’t know much about music mixing and all that— plus you’re not lying when you say you like what you hear

but maybe in this area, there’s not much you can contribute in his life 

and these are the moments when you think you fail as an equal partner

younghyun realizes the abrupt quiet in the air as you make yourself feel smaller than you do

“just a little more and i’ll be done for the day,” he tells you, patting your head reassuringly

you give him a meek nod, not meeting his eyes, and go back to some work

at least, you try. for distraction

he sounds disappointed— maybe you need to learn how to analyze beats and harmonies and such next time? 

before you know it, younghyun finishes up and saves his progress

you’ve also fallen asleep a little there while sitting down on the floor, and your head on top of your laptop 

“babe?” 

when you wake up, the take-out bags are nowhere to be seen and your laptop is inside your messenger bag

“can i hang out at your place tonight?” younghyun asks, and you try to regain your senses

“yeah, yeah of course,” you say absent-mindedly, concerned thoughts swirling your consciousness

younghyun doesn’t bring a lot when he goes to the studio, he leaves the instruments in the room and only carries his phone and USB on him

upon exiting the place, he grabs hold of your bag and slings it on his arm

on the other, he invites your hand in his

you don’t say anything, still feel guilty for the incident a while ago, but accept his intertwining fingers

he squeezes yours tight, and gives you a slow, reassuring kiss on the cheek 

“i’m sorry if i pressured you back there,” he apologizes firmly, looking at you straight in the eye

it’s a little intimidating, if you’re being honest 

because when younghyun owns up to something— or even when he’s just determined about his words

he wants you to look at him, and see the truth in what he’s telling you

in retrospect, that’s how you fell in love

as that’s how younghyun confessed his own feelings

but now, he’s saying sorry for something you should be sorry for

before you even feel the tears well up, he has his hands cup your face, rubbing alongside your temples 

the air is still outside, and there’s a faint noise of people chattering, walking, and existing in the world

but what you see is younghyun, and the way he presents you all of who he is at the moment

“it’s not you,” you start off the cliche, so you stop yourself

“i just feel like i don’t do anything…”

“anything?”

“in this relationship… that’s beneficial to you…” finally, words that explain some of your true, insecure feelings

you shut your eyes as tight as you can as to avoid confronting younghyun’s gaze 

he’s quiet

probably mad

possibly about to break up with you

realizing that you’re right

instead, a slight pain on your forehead and you mutter a surprised, “ow.”

“that’s what you get,” younghyun says, seriously but his eyes show that of worry

you pout, and he tries to resist but he can’t so he kisses you

“for thinking the opposite of who you are to me,” he continues, letting go of your face and sliding his fingers in between the crevices of yours once more 

you leave it like that, feeling just a tad bit calmer than before

but younghyun keeps looking at you, poking at your side which causes you to be ticklish

and he knows that 

“you hungry?” he asks once you reach downtown

“just a little,” you say, thinking of what to cook dinner for the both of you soon since he said he’s coming over

“let’s get some galbi,” he urges, tugging you towards the restaurant with the glowing sign

“but you just ate…” you say quizzically, and as if on cue your stomach grumbles

well it has been a few hours for you

but for younghyun, technically he should already be full for the rest of the day!

“c’mon, my treat,” he doesn’t take no for an answer and you guys sit at a table with the stove in the center

for the rest of the night, he grills you your meat 

doesn’t even let you put them on your plate, it has to come from him as you feeds you some of your favorites, galbi, gobchang, hangjusal; the whole nine yards

of course, he’s eating too, and laughing, and making you smile

“room for dessert?” he asks, and you shake your head no too many times

“get yourself some, i know you want to” you tell him, and he’s already calling for the waiter to bring him a mochi or two

he eats it while walking back to your apartment with you; and he seems like such a satisfied kid

you can’t go on throughout the day being all sullen with younghyun; it’s impossible

back in your apartment, you ease into the familiarity of the place

and so does younghyun

you ready some clothes for him that he’s left in your dresser to prepare a warm bath

but he calls you in the living room 

“just a moment, younghyun”

“no no i need you now :(“ 

well, can you resist that tone? no

“what’s up? don’t you want to freshen up first?”

“i want you first” 

:( “okay,” you say as shyly as your pounding heart can let you say

and you’re back in the same position as in the studio, right after he ate

arms around you, and he coaches your legs to rest on his 

basically you’re koala-hugging him on your couch

“what’s this?” you say embarrassed. even in your own goddamn apartment, he makes you feel so many things at once

“being extra clingy”

“i can see that— but why?”

“so you don’t doubt yourself” 

you’re taken aback

“there’s nothing that you need to change or do in front of me, or for me to make me love you more,” he starts off, and there goes his eyes again. staring, watching you. steady, serious but.. calming, in a sense

“because i already love you, so much. for everything that you do for me. all the little things.”

“i love you too,” you whisper, finding it hard to find words to describe how lucky you are to have him

again

but this time, you know he doesn’t mind

just having you right here by him is enough, having him recognize the small yet appreciated gestures that you do

and how he manages to check up on your own feelings so quick, and remedy the sadness just like that

there’s just something about being in love with younghyun

that words can’t express

but this moment with him right now can at least make you feel

that much loved by him too

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Harada After Story Translation

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

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i don’t really play rhythmic music games... but i gotta say, Deemo Reborn was amazing. my heart is feeling very hurt right now. highly recommend it. 

Anyway, this is my translation of the Harada story from the Hakuoki Shinkai Hana no Shou Stellaworth pre-order bonus booklet「薄桜鬼 真改 華ノ章」ステラワース早期予約特典 小冊子 (....I should really make the Japanese on these particular posts of mine uniform), which was translated from Chinese as always.

Kinda sad that it’s taken me so long to get to finishing these when I consider how the very first translation on my tumblr was for the Saito story and when i posted that... ahahahaaaaa...... lol. *facepalm.* 

Now that this is done, that just leaves the stories for Souji and Heisuke (of which i have now queued) since I don’t have translations of the after stories for Shinpachi, Sanan, Souma, Iba, and Sakamoto (have scans for them should anyone want to translate them or commission someone else to translate them). 

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Hakuoki Shinkai: Hana no Shou Stellaworth Pre-order Bonus Booklet After Story - Harada Sanosuke

Translation by KumoriYami

The boundless sky and horizon——

The war between the old Shogunate's forces and the New Government Army, and the fighting between humans and oni, had nothing to do with the country on the other side of the sea.  And it was in that place, a [certain] man and woman were [now] living.  

The man's name was Harada Sanosuke, former Tenth Division Captain of the Shinsengumi. While the woman in love with him was the young female oni who had decided to leave Japan with him, Yukimura Chizuru.

After Harada finished his daily firewood delivery, he rode back towards his beloved at home. Ever since coming here, his riding skills have improved by a lot.

After leading the horse back to the stable, he opened the door of this house, which looked a bit lonely in this cold weather.

"Yo, Chizuru, I'm back."

Chizuru, who was leaning over from where she was sitting down in a chair and mending clothes, lifted her head with a smile.

"Welcome back, Sanosuke-san. How was it outside?"

"It's still the same. Although I've been mentally prepared for a while, the coldness of winter here really can't match the degree of coldness in Kyoto."

As Harada spoke, he curtly sat down on his chair. The old chair looked as if it were to collapse at any moment, and made a creaking sound.

"But, it's thankfully very warm at home, right?"

Although it was difficult living in a foreign country where there was a language barrier, Chizuru wasn't the slightest bit dissatisfied, and was still smiling from ear to ear as she responded to his words.

Her appearance made him feel that he would never be able to fully express how thankful he was. Harada, who always felt a little ashamed about this, lightly tousled his hair.

"Nn...... indeed.”

Chizuru who finally finished mending the clothes, then quietly stood up.

"Please wait a bit. I'll go make you some tea."

"No need,  I'll go make the tea, you go and rest.”

"But...…"

"Your body isn't just your own, so don't force yourself...… alright?”

The tone of his voice was slightly more forceful, which was why she sat back down into her chair again.

"Since that's the case, I'll leave it to you. Sanosuke-san.”

"Yosh! Just look forward to it, and watch me make you a delicious cup  of tea.”

After, he tried copying the way that Chizuru made tea——.

"......Ah, sorry, I wanted to make tea like how you usually do.”

The tea that Harada made, was one that someone would have a difficult time calmly drinking. Having seen that, Chizuru made a new cup for him, which tasted quite good. The same tea leaves were obviously used, yet there was such a difference in the taste, and upon seeing this, Harada felt incredulous.

"Please don't worry about it. I'm already thankful for your intentions.”

"...…That so."

Truly, what a kind woman. once again Harada confirmed how kind she was.

When he was thinking about coming to this foreign country, she didn't utter a single complaint, and followed him in silence. Although this method was used to hide her from the oni clans that were pursuing her——.

(If she was born as a human, she wouldn't have had to bear such difficulties.)

Although he felt that Chizuru who had ended up with the Shinsengumi because of various reasons, it was why he tried helping her as much as possible, but it was in that period of time, that he found himself unable to look away from her. He didn't know when it started, but he felt that he was the only one to protect her.

(......No, she was no longer alone.)

As Harada thought this, he stood back up.

"Sanosuke-san?"

After she doubtfully called his name, Harada went over to Chizuru's side, bent his knees slightly, and then placed his hand on her lower abdomen, where a new life was.

"Ah......"

Gently caressing this small and growing life, his heart was brimming with warmth.

(I never thought that I would have a family.)

Because of his rough personality, his hometown wasn't able to handle him, and all sorts of commotions occurred whenever he went somewhere, which was why he cut ties to the place he was born.

(Originally, I thought that I'd be a man who would live like a stray dog, then die alone.....)

He never thought that he would be able to find someone to fall in love with, the chance to start a family, or even have children.

As he gently caressed her now swelling lower abdomen, he worriedly asked a question.

"How's your body doing? I heard that you had a fever a while ago."

"I'm all right, the people nearby have given me plenty of advice."

"What about the language? Were you able to understand it?"

"I've been able to understand a bit more of it recently. Otherwise things will be expressed using body movements and pen and ink/writing.

"...…So it was like that."

Chizuru then placed her hand against Harada's. The soft heartbeat and his warmth were both able to reach her palm.

"Hey, Chizuru."

Hearing the way his voice called out, Chizuru tilted her head.

"As long as I have you and this guy, I don't need anything else. Not even life."

Those were his honest feelings, but the moment he said this, Chizuru's expression became very serious.

"Even if that's a joke, please don't say that. If Sanosuke-san dies, this child and I will not survive.”

He already anticipated Chizuru saying this, but——

"I'm not joking. Ever since I met you, and since we've become husband and wife...…. for the first time, I know that there are things in this world that are more important than my own life and ambitions.”

His words made her blush.

"This...…"

Just from looking at her expression, it was obvious that she thought he was being too serious, but Harada truly felt that what he wasn't an exaggeration. No, if only words were used to convey his inner thoughts, perhaps not even half of them would be conveyed.

Harada lovingly brushed Chizuru's hair which drooped to her shoulders, then spoke.

"Don't worry.  I didn't plan to leave you and this guy to die behind. Even if it looks like that, I'm very confident about how I never give up in life."

"..….I believe you."

In response to his trust, she showed a smile that was brimming with confidence. Seeing her like this, Harada involuntarily smiled back.

---End---

for some reason, i translated track 5 of something... now done track 5 and 6 (of 6) for that drama lol. 

unfortunately, i only got half-way through june for my queue... ugh dammit. still that’s a decent start i suppose tho last week was my last “allowance” time for translating since i anticipate getting a lot busier now... [btw, the 4th ginsei no shou chapter for Saito is at 40% and will be at that completion level for a looong while. will need to have my queue reach november before i can earnestly focus on that game again]... also,  i’m going to assume that with school, most of my game translation videos will take longer to get done (dramas are fairly easy since timing isn’t difficult to set as there’s no text that i need to worry about).

on the plus side though, the yuugiroku dramas are now being moved via cmd...  though for some reason, i can’t see half the on-screen text in the programs i use right now... including notepad, which i use for subtitles, and nimble writer, which is the program i use to write i’ve saved my translations in... and i can’t even view my files properly cuz i can’t see any of the folders or file names...

[writingpuddle]

The foxes and Andrew reacting to Neil with a British accent?

Hey anon im p sure you sent me this like a million years agobut I found it again when going thru my asks yesterday so here goes myattempt at a bulletpoint fic:

Neil grew up in the states, sohis default accent is American, but he is ridiculouslygood at imitating. Like give him a ten second audio clip and he canextrapolate basically an entire dialect from it

The Foxes discover this aroundHalloween when watching a spooky movie and Neil goes into a perfect deadpanmockery of the Dracula character’s terrible Transylvanian accent

It becomes a thing

The Foxes will give him an accentand just set him loose

Neil is kind of surprised bytheir enthusiasm but also secretly very pleased to have found a way to amusehis Foxes

He likes making them happy so henever denies them

Except Kevin, but that is mostlybecause the team gets more amusement from watching Kevin get frustrated and trynot to show how annoyed he is over Neil being such a petty little asshole

Also they discover that if Neilputs on an Irish accent when Kevin isn’t paying attention he will absolutelyJUMP

Give him an order in an Irishaccent and he just instantly starts to follow through before he wakes up,blinking in disorientation as he realizes what he was doing

It’s funny at first, then theyrealize it’s because he associates the accent with his mother, and then itskind of sad, and then Kevin starts telling more stories about his mum and someof the few good memories he has of her, and then it gets funny again because Foxesare Foxes and they do love a good roast

Kevin complains outwardly but itsactually kind of cathartic to talk about his mother

He tells Andrew this inconfidence and Andrew just glares at him like no shit dude, you need fuckingtherapy

Anyways

That summer is going to be thesummer of the girls graduation

So they’re all determined to dosomething big to celebrate

And they get it in their heads todo a Eurotrip

Neil isn’t really payingattention at first because he’s more concerned about whether Andrew will bewilling to do a transatlantic flight

(Andrew is obviously going tocome. Flights suck, but there is no way he can cope with his whole family beingthat far away. He does not feel the need to explain this. It should beobvious.)

That’s when the Foxes pause, alldevious.

They’ve been plotting

“So, Neil,” Allison says. “At what point are you going to introduce usto your British uncle?”

Neil does not see where this isgoing

In fact he is largely baffled bythe suggestion.

“You realize my uncle is agangster, right? Like, literally a crime boss. Possibly the most dangerousperson in Britain.”

“Mm-hmmmmm.”

Neil is ???

“But he saved you Neil,” Nicky says emphatically. “We need to thank him.”

“Uh, kind of by accident, butyeah, technically.”

“You should call him. Just toask. You know, at least give the guy some warning that you’ll be in the area.”

Neil is still kinda confused butokay, fine.

Now here’s the thing

The Foxes have heard any numberof accents from Neil by this point

Including a magnificent Godfatherimitation

And probably half a dozendifferent British ones

But those were always for the laughs

He always picked a terribleaccent or would mock the living hell out of a posh one

Neil isn’t used to being thefunny one so he’s trying his best okay

And it’s fun and all but Neil can’tbe seductive to save his life

Even if you made him speak theFrench, the language of love itself,he’d just sound like he’s talking about the next game because he has zeroflirtability

Face it his and Andrew’sflirting sounds kind of like death threats to outsiders

They deserve each other

SO the Foxes convince Neil tocall up his uncle and they huddle around the phone

Only to be utterly disappointed

Neil talks with Stuart for all ofa minute and a half, just normal voice

He hangs up and tells them thatStuart will meet them in London in May and that they’re going to get him inshit with the FBI for this

The Foxes retreat, mutteringmutinously

Andrew is well aware of what’sgoing on, but it’s halfway amusing so he doesn’t say anything

As the months pass the Foxesbecome increasingly desperate in their attempts to make Neil say something sexy

They make him quote movies, TVshows, read out flirty text messages

One memorable time they even gethim to read out a page from Fifty Shades of Grey in a stuck-up British accent

They almost die laughing

It’s like a fucking superpower

Neil can say absolutely anythingand make it come across totally non-sexual

The Foxes have pretty much givenup by the time the summer trip comes around

Neil spends the plane ridepretending not to fuss over Andrew so by the time he arrives he’s totallyexhausted

And here is what he didn’texpect:

He is totally used to listeningto the local accents and then blending in naturally

It’s very disorienting beingamong the Foxes and their various Americanism, but hearing British accents allaround him

And his instincts are snarled upin knots

Plus he’s fucking tired

So he keeps slipping

First it happens when they passthrough customs, just a little lilt to his voice to put the officer at ease

But then it keeps happening

Stuart sends a couple cars topick them up and take them to this massive place he owns right in centralLondon

Being a crimeboss comes withcertain perks okay

Neil slips up again when he’stalking to the driver, his accent washing back and forth

Everyone else isn’t really payingattention because as excited as they are about Neil’s accent they’re in London and they’re all exhausted and fora lot of them it’s the first time they’ve been outside of the States, ever

Andrew notices

But he doesn’t say anything

They get to the apartment andfind a note there from Stuart saying he’ll pick them up tomorrow for a tour

Everyone splits off into theirrooms to sleep

Neil falls into bed exhausted, but sleep doesn’t come

And Andrew knows this but is tooexhausted himself from the stress of flying to deal with it right away

So he just wraps an arm aroundNeil’s stomach and holds him there as he drifts off

And it’s not enough for Neil toreally relax but it’s enough to make him feel grounded

The next morning Stuart shows upand everyone blinks at him bleary eyed and suspicious

But he’s charming and most ofthem find it kinda disarming

Which is how the Foxes end up takingwhat is probably the most expensive tour they’ve ever had (Allison excepted),lead entirely by a crime boss

Neil is lagging behind a bit buteveryone is so caught up in it that they don’t really notice

Except Andrew

That boy is always attuned to Neil

So he drops back with him andthey have a brief intense staring contest which ends in Neil looking away

They’re standing in Trafalgarsquare watching some street performers so no one is listening

Neil is obviously chewing onsomething and Andrew waits him out

He would wait forever

Finally, Neil just says, “I’vebeen here before.”

Which isn’t much but Andrew’smemory has never failed him before

I couldn’t live there again. I couldn’t retrace my steps to any ofthose places

Andrew knows what its like to feelsick at things that other people would love

So he nods and stands next toNeil the whole day

Not quite touching but closeenough that they can feel each others gravity

At the end of the day Stuart andNeil have a very cordial goodbye and then Stuart leaves them back at theapartment

Everyone is gushing about how charismatiche is and Neil doesn’t bother to correct them

His uncle has always been a bitof a snake-charmer but at least he knows he’ll never hurt his Foxes

They’ve still got a few days inLondon and Stuart’s secured them tickets to an underground dungeon tour thingthat usually has months worth of waiting list

Neil’s a little leery of goinginto a dark underground space, but with his Foxes there he’s sure he’ll beFine™

The team breaks out drinks aftersupper but Neil doesn’t have the energy

(Honestly according to thistimeline they’ve been in London for twenty-four hours they should be jet-laggedto hell and back, but w/e)

So he retires to their room andAndrew follows him like he always will

He sits next to Neil on the bedand waits

God there’s so much fuckingpointed silence between these two dear lord guys learn to communicate

Eventually Neil sighs. “I thoughtit would be okay. With all of them here.”

Andrew mulls that over

He doesn’t know how to admit thatit bothers him too. Seeing Neil reverting back to old habits, trying to blendin like its second nature

But he knows Neil is here to stayso he just slips a hand around the back of Neil’s neck and tugs him in untiltheir foreheads touch, breathing in the same air

Gradually the tension eases outof Neil

“We can go home,” Andrew says

“No,” Neil says. “I want to stay.I want to learn how to…do all of this, as Neil.”

Andrew squeezes the back of hisneck one more time. “Okay.”

It’s a silent promise, one he’sbeen keeping for over a year now: that any time Neil drifts too far, Andrewwill keep him anchored.

Neil knows it and he can’t helpbut smile a little, watching Andrew’s hazel eyes disappear into the shadowbetween their faces.

“Yes or no?” he asks

Andrew draws back a little

“You’ve been dissociating allday.”

“I’m here now.”

Andrew scowls and let’s go ofhim, standing up to go dig out his pajamas from his luggage

Neil flops down on the bed andadmires the view while Andrew changes

(That’s a nice thing. Andrewbeing comfortable enough to change in front of him. Sure, he’s always partiallychanged out in the locker room, but in private it’s different. It’s more. And Andrew is willing to give thatto Neil.)

(It’s very nice.)

“Staring,” Andrew grunts

“Can you blame me?”

“Yes.”

Neil sits up again and tugs onthe front of Andrew’s shirt until he gives in and steps up close, betweenNeil’s legs

His hands go to Neil’s sideswithout conscious decision

“Nicky wants the genuine Europeexperience,” Neil murmurs, toying with Andrew’s hem. He still hasn’t been givenpermission to touch, so he doesn’t. “We’re going to be staying in hostels.Might be the last time we have a room to ourselves.”

Andrew bites down on a thousandimpulses, reflexes to shut Neil down, cuthim out

Instead he just kisses Neil, goodand slow, a reassurance that they’re there,they’re real, and that this isn’t going away

“Andrew—”

“Yes,” he says, and pushes Neilback onto the bed.

You know what happens next

They love each other deeply andprofoundly and all that but they also like each other’s butts ya know

So afterwards they get cleaned upand curl back up in bed to sleep

Andrew climbs over Neil andnearly knees him in the balls and Neil’s laughing a little and Andrew scowls inannoyance as Neil scoots closer

And with the most obnoxious chav accent that’s ever been heard says, “Any chance a bloke could get a bit of a snog before bed?”

It is quite possibly the worstthing Neil has ever said and Andrew does not hesitate in slapping a pillow overhis face to try and smother him

Neil is laughing his ass off andit devolves into some pretty stupid wrestling before Andrew gets Neil pinneddown, straddling his hips

“Bloody wanker,” Neil says, unable to contain his grin

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew says,and kisses him so that he does.

[thatjusthappned]

Going Up?

I woke up in the hospital. I have an IV hooked up to me and I feel like I’ve been hit in the head with a frying pan. I began to sit up and I’m looking around. The room is full of windows but the blinds have all been draw shut so there’s not a lot of light. I see a big flower basket in my room that has a note on it. Another thing that I’ve noticed is that I have a one person room. Then it hits me. Holy shit, I was in an elevator with Shawn Mendes. My eyes go wide as I try to remember everything. “What the fuck is my life.” I say out loud to myself, then I look for the call button and not long after a nurse is walking in, leaving the door half way open. Shawn is standing out there, talking to someone I can’t see. He looks in at me, smiles and look back at the person. “Hey sweet heart. I would like you to look at me.” The nurse says so I do “How are you feeling?” I take a second to think “My head just hurts and I’m hungry.” she writes this down “Okay and is that all?” I nod and look back out the door. He’s gone, Shawn is gone. 

“Hello Miss Y/N. Just coming to check on you.” The male Doctor says as he walks in closing the door behind him. He’s checks my eyes and looking over the note from the nurse “So Y/N nothing too serous happened just a little hit in the head. You passed out they couldn’t get you to wake up, so Shawn made them bring you to us and we did a whole lot of tests and everything came back perfect.” I nod “What about Shawn? Was he okay?” I ask the Doctor. He smiles “Oh yeah he’s fine, he was very worried about you. He made sure we took good care of you. Even got you those flowers.” He says pointing to them “Now some people are gonna come in and talk to you about how everything that’s happened. You know legal stuff. But Brooke hear will stay in the room with you, so if you need anything let her know. She’ll try and help the best she can.” With that he left. 

“Do you want to watch the press conference?” Brooke asked grabbing the remote to the TV. “About the elevator?” “Yes Shawn is talking in it.” I nod with a small smile. She turns the TV on goes to the news channel. Shawn walks on screen and sits down at the table. Andrew his mangers is with him and you can see all the camera flashing, I can’t began to imagine the amount of people that are in that room. “Is this being filmed in the hospital?” I asked looking at the nurse she nods. The reporters are yelling Shawn’s name and he point to one the noise dies down as he speaks “Is it true a fan ran into the elevator to be with you?” reporter one asks. “The person that was in the elevator forgot their bag in the elevator that is why they ran back in and the doors shut before they could leave again. Had nothing to do with me.” Shawn says picking someone else next. “Did you at any point feel like you were in danger in the elevator?” reporter two asks “If you asking if I felt scared of the person stuck in the elevator with me, No. Now when we found out we were stuck we both panicked but we collected ourselves pretty fast after that.” Shawn picked another one, answered that question. Then the crowd go really loud and Shawn held up his hands to quite things down.

I noticed that he didn’t have his zap anymore. Making me look at my own hands where mine has remained. Complete an utter shock is the only way to describe my thoughts. It was a phone number with the words “Text me” under them. Shawn wrote down his number for the zap. What the hell. Then suddenly fear washed over me. Did he see his zap before it was gone? The thought that he could have possibly saw it made me fall into a pit of embarrassment. What was I thinking writing that down in the first place. Plus if he did see it, and didn’t do it that’s just even more embarrassing. Maybe I was dreaming a little too big, or maybe I just wrote it down for the hell of it. What if he wrote his down then saw mine and regretted putting his number down. Great I’m that creepy fan.

Then a question pulled my out of my thoughts “Why won’t the name of the girl be released?” a reporter asks Shawn looks surprised when they said ‘girl’ but Andrew quickly took over “Listen the other person involved is just as much as a victim in this as Shawn. The persons name, age and gender have been kept under wraps for a reason. For their safety it would be great if it could stay that way.” Andrew finishes. He leans into Shawn saying something in his ear then stand up and leaves. So they’re trying to protect me?

                                           ( 3 months later.)

It’s been quite some time since the elevator thing happened. Found out Shawn wanted to keep my name out so I could go back to living a normal life, Brooke was telling me how cute it was that he was so protective over me. She told me she’s felt like he liked liked me, but as cool as that might be it couldn’t be. So I didn’t text him but I did save his number in my phone. Then things went back to normal. Well up until 2 weeks after when TMZ released pictures and audio from the elevator. Which let people find out who I was and where I lived and my place of work. Which was hell to say the least. Good thing as that it’s August 3 months have passed since the whole thing. Life is getting back to normal for the most part. 

“So Y/N, what are you going to do about Shawn’s birthday party?” My best friend  May says jump and landing on my bed as she eats those rainbow sour candies. She’s kicks her feet in the air staring at me. I groan wrapping myself back in my blankets “What!” She dramatically says. Well you see after everything I needed to tell someone about it, that person is May, but when I told May in one of our ‘stay at home, drink wine, maybe get a little high, and watch movies’  nights she grabbed my phone found the contact for Shawn then texted him. I was pissed and yelling at her but then the phone went off seconds later and it was Shawn calling to make sure it was me. 

Ever since then we’ve been texting everyday and he wants me to come to his 21st birthday in LA. I told him no I couldn’t because of work, then May told our boss everything that was going on and my boss gave me a week off with pay to go. Still told Shawn I couldn’t make it because I didn’t have the money. Shawn said he already bought my ticket. Then I said I would think about it. Now it’s 2 days away and I still haven’t made up my mind. 

“Y/N just go. You have an outfit, you have the time off, you don’t need to worry about how you’re getting there. Plus Shawn really wants you to go, you guys are friends as much as you try to make it not a real thing, it is. He texting everyday even if it’s just one big long text before he goes to bed telling you about his day and asking you about yours. Or if it’s a phone call or facetime every other week maybe. He puts in so much work in your guys friendship. I hate to say it, but you own him.” May was right, and I hated that she was right. I sit up in my bed groan “You suck.” As I got out of the bed, walking into the hall to the bathroom. “So you’re going?” She yells to me and I smile to myself then “slam” the door. “Yes Bitch! I’m packing your bags right now!” She yells out making my laugh. I text Shawn, letting him know I’ll be seeing him in two days.

                                     ( Shawns Birthday Party) 

  I’m sitting on the bed in the hotel room Shawn had got for me and it’s honestly the nicest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in. I’ve been scared to touch things. So all I’ve done is change into the same three outfits over and over again, took a nap one or two times. Picking the right outfit to meet a whole bunch of famous people is hard. Like do I go bold, stay casual, or just a little more dressed up than normal? I get up to look at myself again in the mirror one more time but a knock at the door makes me jump. I walk over to the door taking in a deep breath before opening it. “Hey Y/N it’s Brian, Shawn had me come and get you. The Party started just a little bit ago, so we should get going if you’re ready.” He says with a smile. “Um I just have one question.” Brian smiles “Shoot.” I smile back “Do you think this outfit is okay?” I say looking down at the clothes on my body. “Do you feel comfortable?” He says making me look at him “Yeah?” I say kind of awkwardly “Then you look good. Now lets go if we take any longer Shawn’s gonna have someone else drag us both down to the party.” I and grab my room key from the table. “Already.” I say as we walk out the door.

The party was being held in the hotels Ball room, but it looks like it had been turned into a club for the night. Famous people everywhere, I think I just passed by Niall. My eyes we’re looking at everyone, “Does he know all these people?” I yell to Brian over the music. “Some are friends, some are just people he’s meet over the years. This Party is more for business purposes than a party.” I nod then ask myself then why am I here then? Brian takes me to a table where Alessia Cara is sitting. 

“Alessia this is Y/N, Y/N this is Alessia.” He introduces us we both extend our hand to each other. “Come sit next to me.” she says tugging my hand lightly. So I do “Shawn talks a lot about you, you’re kinda stealing my best friend you know.” She says sounding a little serious but something told me this was all a joke so I say “Can you take him back?”. Her face goes straight and now I’m thinking I’ve read the situation wrong but then she bust out in laughter. Thank God, “You know that’s the best response I’ve ever gotten from someone.” I smile at her, and laugh a little as well. “You know what, I like you. Want a drink?” She ask and Brian gets a phone call and steps away for a second. “So now that He’s gone, Do you like Shawn?” She asks and I’m shocked and don’t really know how to respond. “Um, Well he’s amazing, so yeah I guess.” she looks at me with squinted eyes “No like do you like him like him?” my eyes widen “Do I have a crush on him?”  I ask back, she face palms “Girl you’re just as bad as he is, Yes that’s what I’m asking.” I think for a second “Yes I do.” She smiles and nods “Good.”. Brain comes back “Y/N I’m gonna go get Shawn we’ll be here soon.” He says leaving me with Alessia. 

Well soon isn’t soon, soon is 2 am when I’m shit face drunk with Alessia talking about what color of light in the room is the best one. “No the green one is just so pretty though.” Alessia says as her head rest on my shoulder “But look at that purple, It’s just so peaceful.” We giggle to ourselves. “Maybe they’re both the best ones, because all of them are the best ones!” Alessia says sitting up really fast. She almost falls out of her seat be I grab her arm. “Oh, that could have been bad.” We laugh together. “Hello.” I hear Shawn say from behind me and I turn to look at him. He’s smiling “You know soon isn’t 3 hours later right?” I say pointing a finger at him. He smiles and asked “Are you drunk?” 

“So what if she is?” Alessia says coming to my defense leaning on me, clearly drunk also. “Nothing wrong with that, I mean it is a party.” Shawn says laughing to himself, taking a seat next to me, he puts his arm around the back of my chair. I can feel his skin touch my back wear the silk tank top hangs low. It send shivers through out my body. I turn to look at him and he’s talking to Alessia, they’re laughing and smiling. He’s not even playing attention to me but I can’t help it. I reach out a touch his cheek. He stops talking and looks over at me “yes?” He smiles “You’re beautiful.” I says rubbing my thumb over his cheekbone. Brian laughs and Shawn blushes.

“Alessia how many drink did you guys have?” Brain asks trying not to let his laugh take over his words. “About 7.” “Oh that’s not too bad” Shawn begins to say “each.” She finishes. Brain and Shawn’s eyes go wide “oh okay.” Shawn says grabbing my hand from his face and holds on to it. I smile to myself. They talk for a little longer, I’m not paying any attention just watching Shawn’s hands play with mine. I’m getting tired now and I yawn. “Let’s get you to your room.” Shawn says standing up still holding my hand helping my off the chair and I still almost fall to my knees. “Whoa! A little more drunk than I thought.” Shawn says putting an arm around my waist. “Actually a lot more.” I say with a giggle placing my hand on his chest for more support. He laughs at me, “Come on lets get you going.” I turn to face Alessia and wave goodbye to her with a big cheesy smile on my face, she does the same back.

We mange to get out without being stopped much. Shawn is still holding on to me, but I’ve gotten better at walking and could walk on my own now. Something tells me Shawn knows this but doesn’t care. We’re walking to the elevator “Hey remember that’s time we got trapped in one of these things.” I say as Shawn presses the floor number. He chuckles to himself “Yes I do remember.” I groan leaning my head on his side “It was horrible!” I say. “I don’t think it was that bad, I got to meet and get to know you.” He says, I know I’m blushing but I look up at him anyways. “You think meeting me was good?” I ask he nods smiling “You’re pretty great.” I blush deepens making my smile. Then the elevator doors open and we step out. 

We walk down the hallway to my room, when we get to the door I turn to face him “Did you ever see your zap?” He smiles this tells me he did “You’re Drunk, we can talk about this in the morning.” He laughs trying to avoid this topic. “Oh no, Listen I’m sorry I only wrote it down because... Well I don’t actually know why.” I say feeling my face warm up from embarrassment. So I try to hide it with my hands. Shawn laughs, shakes his head, and places his hands on my shoulders. “Y/N” He starts “You’re right, I’m drunk and I should really get going to bed now.” I say really fast, turning around grabbing the key card from my back pocket. I open the door but stop when Shawn says “You know the rules of the zap game never tells you when we had to do the dare.” I turn to him “I mean that is why you took so long to text me right?” Shit he got me on the one. I still don’t turn around and I begin to push the door over. Hoping to get away from the question, but stop once again.

“I am going to kiss you. Not just because of the Zap thing, but because I want to.” I turn to look at him. He smiles and licks his lips then laughs “So you should get to bed and I’m gonna come down in around noon tomorrow, and we’re gonna go on a date.” He says with confidence but then is falls for a second and he says “If you want to.” I smile “Yes that sounds nice.” Shawn smiles bigger and he nods stepping back. “I’ll see you in the morning.” he says leaning forward to kisses my cheek. Then he steps back again, gives me a thumbs up and walk back to the elevator. I step into the room and smile to myself. 

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I plan on doing a part 3 but would you guys want it? If you have any requests send them in, would love to do some. 😁❤️

[tarry-a-lot]

French Musical Recommendations?/review (Part 3)

This is a mix between recommendations and shows I don’t like and shows I just know exist but don't know a lot about. Even if I’m not too much a fan of some of the show I would still check these shows out for the fun of it, maybe its not my cup of tea but it is for someone else. Again my French is lacking so if the lyrics aren’t great I wouldn’t really know unless I sat down and read them which I didn’t do.

Robin des Bois (2013): 

what to say about this show... I’ll start with the summary: Robin Hood and Marianne break up pre-show and have their own groups going on. Marianne also has a son with robin but robin has no idea about him. Sheriff of Nottingham starts attacking so Marianne asks robin for help. Also the sheriff figures out about robin’s son and so he imprisons the kid and surprise! there a romance between Nottingham’s daughter and Robin Hood’s son. 

Yep, haven’t seen the show, really don’t mind the plot sounds interesting enough. I’ve only listened to the soundtrack once and all I got to say is that it’s not great. The cast is lovely and look really sweet and friendly with each other, but all the songs really just sound like basic pop. To be clear without understanding the lyrics and just listening to it with not visuals, I found the soundtrack quite boring, so maybe I’m just missing something. My favourite songs are “Le flèche et la cible,” (the piano makes it sound like an anime opening or something, liked the drums too, and the vocals are nice) and “On est là” (it’s a really weird one, I couldn’t put my finger on it but after playing it for someone I got the decisive answer of it is very 80′s, the instrumentals really threw me off but hey it’s catchy). Also some songs had a bass line that also threw me off, just wasn’t expecting it. like the one in “la Providence,” maybe it’s just me. And one last thing about the songs, what the hell is ”Notting hill Nottingham” like that title is also the chorus and I’m just?? maybe if I understood the rest of the lyrics it would make sense? aside from the debatable chorus line, the drums are a blast in this song. Clips and music videos available on YouTube along with a behind the scenes two part video on the official musical’s channel.

Non-Music: well the costumes are ok, don’t love them but don’t hate them either, though friar tuck’s is debatable, from the bits I’ve seen most of the background is done with a screen which is fine, it’s more of a concert style show anyway, I’m a big fan of the ladder trees though, the dancing and acrobatics is probably the highlight of the show (again only saw bits but it looks good)

Dracula l'amour plus fort que la mort (2012): This is different from the Frank Wildhorn Dracula musical, Dracula: A chamber Musical and the Swedish Dracula musical. Unsurprisingly this musical is based on Stoker Dracula telling which I never read so I don’t know how much it follows that text. It was also inspired by the 1992 Coppola film (which again I have never watched). I won’t be too helpful about plot summary but it follows the general novel plot with Jonathan Harker engaged with Mina Murray goes off to Dracula’s castle for work. Things happen, the issue with Lucy occurs then Mina is targeted by Dracula and Harker with the Dr. Seward and Helsing go to kill Dracula to save Mina. There also seems to be a subplot where Mina was Dracula’s lover in a past life, which is shown through dance sequences throughout the show.Music wise it’s mainly rock pop which is up my alley. Personally, just based on music and not lyrics I like “Encore”, “Elles”, “ Le Ciel et l'Enfer” “ La Dernière danse” and maybe “L'Amour et son Contraire”.  The full show is available on YouTube.

Non-music: This show goes hard on edgy imagery. I personally quite liked the general over the top modernish gothic vibe. The dancers are great and quite liked some of the limited palette scene. The opening shadow puppet scene was cool. The only part I really had issue with is maybe the CGI 3d video scene. It was cool at times but the CGI is not great which is not their fault, but kind of distracted me. Also if you watch it there is this scene where Harker is laying in a large Pieta statue (minus the Jesus) and it’s just great. Like edgy church imagery with vampires? sign me up. There’s also this Vampire dream sequence in a bed because of course every vampire musical needs one (Tanz der Vampire if you know what I mean). Harker is in bed and vampire women come out from the bed (the bed itself is a hollow prop where dancers are hiding within and pop out from the holes hidden by the puffy bedding), the bed itself could have been more decorative with posts (like tanz) but still a really cool scene, Almost forgot, Mina and Dracula are played by dancers so they don’t really sing, especially Dracula he does not speak at all. Costumes are fun to look at, some are the best but I appreciated the general look of the show so I’m not that bothered. I strangely grew to like the spiney Dracula costumes, I think the fact he didn’t talk and just danced helped me like the costume more.

Overall, fun show so if pop rock is your vibe this show you should check it out.

Cindy Cendrillion (2002): This show is not good, but I had a blast laughing about it as I watched it so I recommend it. Let me clarify, my dislike is not due to the cast, in general I thought singing and dancing and all that were really good, what gets me is how dated it is now (it is really early 2000’s vibes and some of the plot is debatable). Show is available split into two acts on YouTube.

So the plot is pretty much a retelling of the Cinderella story in a modern early 2000′s setting. Cindy (Cinderella) is the daughter of an recently disappeared Irish pilot. and she lives with her step mother and sisters who are mean to her. She has a passion for dancing the jig, I’m assuming they are referencing Irish step to a certain degree. She goes out in night to dance but her step-mother threatens to kick her out if she doesn’t come home before midnight. A super star named Ricky (Prince Charming) has a Birthday ball and sees Cindy and falls in love. Also Ricky had a model Fiancée Judy who he breaks it off with to pursue Cindy. Spoilers now... Ricky writes a song where one can dance “the jig” to so they hold a competition to find a dancer for it, guess who wins? Cindy.. they fall in love... but Judy realises it’s all over for her and Ricky ands faxes him so mean message then commits suicide by overdosing on drugs. Cindy gets scared and leaves Ricky to Ireland. Ricky tracks her down and they fly away in a spaceship?! honestly this plot is just sure something.

Okay.... um if you read the spoiler section of the summary you’ll know how wild this show is. For those who haven’t warning there is an suicide by overdosing on drugs in the show. Music wise it’s alright, I watched the show but all the songs are quite forgettable because I was so distracted by the plot. Again the vocals are nice so perhaps I just need to listen to audio only, though I’m unsure about some of the lyrics. 

Non-Music: I have so much to rant about this show. First off it’s just weird that her Irish pilot dad keeps appearing in like spiritual form. Also Cindy is not spectacular at dancing, which is hilarious during the jig dancing competition you have actual dancer ensemble members doing cool moves and in general good dancing but at the end Cindy comes stepping around and twirling a bit, the same choreography she does every time she danced the jug in the show and then wins the competition. Honestly, they should of just done full Irish step dancing and had the actress trained in it or to be more practical had a double for Cindy that was obscured to trick the audience into thinking this double was Cindy. The actress was lovely and maybe she can dance but “the jig” choreography was so pathetic compared to the ensemble’s part, even the ensemble part was weird.. maybe I just don’t understand what “jig” dancing is. Also the ending was so random to me, maybe it’s because of my lacking French, I get there were references to space throughout the show but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ENDING. Well stage wise it was interesting at parts. I like the large center column piece that had platforms on it that moved around the pillar. Cindy’s love song to Ricky with her in front of a large Ricky Magazine and two screens showing zoom ups on Ricky was weird. Finally, costumes, really dated and tacky but I think they were quite fun. The only complaint I really have is Ricky, he wears this half tank top half leather jacket look, and it’s really a single tiddy out look.

Starmania (1979): Let me start by saying I DON’T hate this show I just know little about it. I’ve watched bits a few years ago and only really recall one song. It’s one of THE French musicals, I mean I wouldn’t know for certain but you’ll see it’s quite popular and covered by newer musicals cast member (like Mozart L’Opera Rock). The photo is from a more recent production which is different from the original costumes. As a show it’s set in a futuristic society so there is some surreal techno outfits and set pieces, which are actually quite cool. It’s pretty much about a gang called the Black Stars who are trying to rebel against a billionaire turned politician Zéro Janvier. There is romance plots, the wiki has more info on that. In general, the singing is great and from the parts I’ve seen it looks interesting despite the show aesthetic being really not my thing. Full versions of the show are available on YouTube, the production done in English is also posted on YouTube. I would say if you are trying to get into French Musicals this is a good one to listen to as well as it’s kind of a classic but I hesitate as the visuals look a bit weird due to the futuristic element (kind of remind me if starlight Express when it comes to costume) but if this isn’t you cup of tea there are plenty of other shows as well.

Résiste (2015): It’s a French Jukebox Musical. It’s one of those one artist jukebox musicals, so all the songs were originally sung by France Gall and written by Michel Berger. It’s about five friends (I think they’re friends), two of whom are sisters. The sisters work with their dad at the family bar/night club. The plot revolves around something tragic happening and the five friends trying to deal and grow from it? (probably something to do with the night club)I haven't seen it so I have no idea what the tragic event is. I didn’t know any of the songs before this musical but it’s quite catchy and fun. Clips of the show and songs are available on YouTube.

[maximelebled]

Growing Pains - Zelda, Tony Hawk, The Sims, games and related memories from my formative years

This blog post is about my personal history with video games, how they influenced me growing up, how they sometimes helped me, and more or less an excuse to write about associated memories with them.

This is a very straightforward intro, because I’ve had this post sitting as a draft for ages, trying to glue all of it cohesively, but I’m not a very good writer, so I never really succeeded. Some of these paragraphs date back at least one year. 

And I figured I should write about a lot of this as long as I still remember clearly, or not too inaccurately. Because I know that I don’t remember my earliest ever memory. I only remember how I remember it. So I might as well help my future self here, and give myself a good memento.

Anyway, the post is a kilometer long, so it’ll be under this cut.

My family got a Windows 95 computer when I was 3 years old. While I don’t remember this personally, I’m told that one of the first things I ever did with it was mess up with the BIOS settings so badly that dad’s computer-expert friend had to be invited to repair it. (He stayed for dinner as a thank you.)

It was that off-white plastic tower, it had a turbo button, and even a 4X CD reader! Wow! And the CRT monitor must have been... I don’t remember what it was, actually. But I do once remember launching a game at a stupidly high resolution: 1280x1024! And despite being a top-down 2D strategy, it ran VERY slowly. Its video card was an ATI Rage. I had no idea what that really meant that at the time, but I do recall that detail nonetheless.

Along with legitimately purchased games, the list of which I can remember:

Tubular Worlds

Descent II

Alone in the Dark I & III

Lost Eden

Formula One (not sure which game exactly)

Heart of Darkness

(and of course the famous Adibou/Adi series of educational games)

... we also had what I realize today were cracked/pirated games, from the work-friend that had set up the family computer. I remember the following:

Age of Empires I (not sure about that one, I think it might have been from a legitimate “Microsoft Plus!” disc)

Nightmare Creatures (yep, there was a PC port of that game)

Earthworm Jim (but without any music)

The Fifth Element

Moto Racer II

There are a few other memorable games, which were memorable in most aspects, except their name. I just cannot remember their name. And believe me, I have looked. Too bad! Anyway, in this list, I can point out a couple games that made a big mark on me.

First, the Alone in the Dark trilogy. It took me a long time to beat them. I still remember the morning I beat the third game. I think it was in 2001 or 2002.

There was a specific death in it which gave me nightmares for a week. You shrink yourself to fit through a crack in a wall, but it’s possible to let a timer run out—or fall down a hole—and this terrifying thing happens (16:03). I remember sometimes struggling to run the game for no reason; something about DOS Extended Memory being too small.

I really like the low-poly flat-shaded 3D + hand-drawn 2D style of the game, and it’d be really cool to see something like that pop up again. After the 8-bit/16-bit trend, there’s now more and more games paying tribute to rough PS1-style 3D, so maybe this will happen? Maybe I’ll have to do it myself? Who knows!

Second, Lost Eden gave me a taste for adventure and good music, and outlandish fantasy universes. Here’s the intro to the game:

A lot of the game is very evocative, especially its gorgeous soundtrack, and you spend a lot of time trekking through somewhat empty renders of landscapes. Despite being very rough early pre-rendered 3D, those places were an incredible journey in my young eyes. If you have some time, I suggest either playing the game (it’s available on Steam) or watching / skimmering through this “longplay” video. Here are some of my personal highlights: 25:35, 38:05, 52:15 (love that landscape), 1:17:20, 1:20:20 (another landscape burned in my neurons), 2:12:10, 2:55:30, 3:01:18. (spoiler warning)

But let’s go a couple years back. Ever since my youngest years, I was very intrigued by creation. I filled entire pocket-sized notebooks with writing—sometimes attempts at fiction, sometimes daily logs like the weather reports from the newspaper, sometimes really bad attempts at drawing. I also filled entire audio tapes over and over and OVER with “fake shows” that my sister and I would act out. The only thing that survived is this picture of 3-year-old me with the tape player/recorder.

It also turns out that the tape recorder AND the shelf have both survived.

(I don’t know if it still works.)

On Wednesday afternoons (school was off) and on the week-ends, I often got to play on the family computer, most of the time with my older brother, who’s the one who introduced me to... well... all of it, really. (Looking back on the games he bought, I can say he had very good tastes.)

Moto Racer II came with a track editor. It was simple but pretty cool to play around with. You just had to make the track path and elevation; all the scenery was generated by the game. You could draw impossible tracks that overlapped themselves, but the editor wouldn’t let you save them. However, I found out there was a way to play/save them no matter what you did, and I got to experiment with crazy glitches. 85 degree inclines that launched the bike so high you couldn’t see the ground anymore? No problem. Tracks that overlapped themselves several times, causing very strange behaviour at the meeting points? You bet. That stuff made me really curious about how video games worked. I think a lot of my initial interest in games can be traced back to that one moment I figured out how to exploit the track editor...

There was also another game—I think it was Tubular Worlds—that came on floppy disks. I don’t remember what exactly lead me to do it, but I managed to edit the text that was displayed by the installer... I think it was the license agreement bit of it. That got me even more curious as to how computers worked.

Up until some time around my 13th or 14th birthday, during summer break (the last days of June to the first days of September for French pupils), my sister and I would always go on vacation at my grandparents’ home.

The very first console game I ever played was The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on my cousin’s Super Nintendo, who also usually stayed with us. Unlike us, he had quite a few consoles available to him, and brought a couple along. My first time watching and playing this game was absolutely mind-blowing to me. An adventure with a huge game world to explore, so many mysterious things at every corner. “Why are you a pink rabbit now?” “I’m looking for the pearl that will help me not be that.”

Growing up and working in the games industry has taken the magic out of many things in video games... and my curiosity for the medium (and its inner workings) definitely hasn’t helped. I know more obscure technical trivia about older games than I care to admit. But I think this is what is shaping my tastes in video games nowadays... part of it is that I crave story-rich experiences that can bring me back to a, for lack of a better term, “child-like” wonderment. And I know how weird this is going to sound, but I don’t really enjoy “pure gameplay” games as much for that reason. Some of the high-concept ones are great, of course (e.g. Tetris), but I usually can’t enjoy others without a good interwoven narrative. I can’t imagine I would have completed The Talos Principle had it consisted purely of the puzzles without any narrative beats, story bits, and all that. What I’m getting at is, thinking about it, I guess I tend to value the “narrative” side of games pretty highly, because, to me, it’s one of the aspects of the medium that, even if distillable to some formulas, is inherently way more “vague” and “ungraspable”. You can do disassembly on game mechanics and figure out even the most obsure bits of weird technical trivia. You can’t do that to a plot, a universe, characters, etc. or at least nowhere near to the same extent.

You can take a good story and weave it into a number of games, but the opposite is not true. It’s easy to figure out the inner working of gameplay mechanics, and take the magic out of them, but it’s a lot harder to do that for a story, unless it’s fundamentally flawed in some way.

Video games back then seemed a lot bigger than they actually were.

I got Heart of Darkness as a gift in 1998 or 1999. We used to celebrate Christmas at my grandparents’, so I had to wait a few days to be back home, and to able to put the CD in the computer. But boy was it worth it! Those animated cutscenes! The amazing pixel art animations! The amazing and somewhat disturbing variety of ways in which you can die, most of which gruesome and mildly graphic! And of course, yet again... a strange and outlandish universe that just scratches my itch for it. Well, one of which that forged my taste for them.

I can’t remember exactly when it happened or what it was, but I do remember that at some point we visited some sort of... exposition? Exhibit? Something along those lines. And it had a board games & computer games section. The two that stick out in my mind were Abalone (of which I still have the box somewhere) and what I think was some sort of 2D isometric (MMO?) RPG. I wanna say it was Ultima Online but I recall it looking more primitive than that (it had small maps whose “void” outside them was a single blueish color). 

In my last two years of elementary school, there was one big field trip per year. They lasted two weeks, away from family. The first one was to the Alps. The second one was... not too far from where I live now, somewhere on the coast of Brittany! I have tried really hard to find out exactly where it was, as I remember the building and facilities really well, but I was never able to find it again. On a couple occasions, we went on a boat with some kind of... algae harvesters? The smell was extremely strong (burning itself into my memory) and made me sick. The reason I bring them up is because quite a few of my classmates had Game Boy consoles, most of them with, you know, all those accessories, especially the little lights. I remember being amazed at the transparent ones. Play was usually during the off-times, and I watched what my friends were up to, with, of course, a bit of jealousy mixed in. The class traveled by bus, and it took off in the middle of the night; something like 3 or 4 in the morning? It seemed like such a huge deal at the time! Now here I am, writing THESE WORDS at 03:00. Anyway, most of my classmates didn’t fall back asleep and those that had a Game Boy just started playing on them. One of my classmates, however, handed me his whole kit and I got to do pretty much what I wanted with it, with the express condition that I would not overwrite any of his save files. I remember getting reasonably far in Pokémon before I had to give it back to him and my progress was wiped.

During the trip to the Alps, I remember seeing older kids paying for computer time; there was a row of five computers in a small room... and they played Counter-Strike. I had absolutely no idea what it was, and I would forget about it until the moment I’m writing these words, but I was watching with much curiosity.

The first time I had my own access to console games was in 2001. The first Harry Potter film had just come out, and at Christmas, I was gifted a Game Boy Advance with the first official game. I just looked it up again and good god, it’s rougher than I remember. The three most memorable GBA games which I then got to play were both Golden Sun(s) and Sword of Mana... especially the latter, with its gorgeous art direction. My dad had a cellphone back then, and I remember sneakily going on there to look up a walkthrough for a tricky part of Golden Sun’s desert bit. Cellphones had access to something called “WAP” internet... very basic stuff, but of course still incredible to me back then.

I eventually got to play another Zelda game on my GBA: Link’s Awakening DX. I have very fond memories of that one because I was bed-ridden with a terrible flu. My fever ran so high that I started having some really funky dreams, delirious half-awake hallucinations/feelings, and one night, I got so hot that I stumbled out of bed and just laid down against the cold tile of the hallway. At 3 in the morning! A crazy time! (Crazy for 11-year-old me.)

(The fever hallucinations were crazy. My bedroom felt like it was three times at big, and I was convinced that a pack of elephants were charging at me from the opposite corner. The “night grain” of my vision felt sharper, amplified. Every touch, my sore body rubbing against the bed covers felt like it was happening twice as much. You know that “Heavy Rain with 300% facial animation” video? Imagine that, but as a feverish feeling. The dreams were on another level entirely. I could spend pages on them, but suffice to say that’s when I had my first dream where I dreamed of dying. There were at least two, actually. The first one was by walking down a strange, blueish metal corridor, then getting in an elevator, and then feeling that intimate convinction that it was leading me to passing over. The second one was in some Myst-like world, straight out of a Roger Dean cover, with some sort of mini-habitat pods floating on a completely undisturbed lake. We were just trapped in them. It just felt like some kind of weird afterlife.)

I also eventually got to play the GBA port of A Link To The Past. My uncle was pretty amused by seeing me play it, as he’d also played the original on SNES before I’d even been born. I asked him for help with a boss (the first Dark World one), but unfortunately, he admitted he didn’t remember much of the game.

We had a skiing holiday around this time. I don’t remember the resort’s or the town’s name, but its sights are burned in my memory. Maybe it’s because, shortly after we arrived, and we went to the ski rental place, I almost fainted and puked on myself, supposedly from the low oxygen. It also turned out that the bedroom my parents had rented unexpectedly came with a SNES in the drawer under the tiny TV. The game: Super Mario World. I got sick at one point and got to stay in and play it. This was also the holiday where I developed a fondness for iced tea, although back then the most common brand left an awful aftertaste in your mouth that just made you even more thirsty.

We got a new PC in December of 2004. Ditching the old Windows 98 SE (yep, the OS had been upgraded in... 2002, I think?). Look at how old-school this looks. The computer office room was in the basement. Even with the blur job that I applied to the monitor for privacy reasons, you can still tell that this is the XP file explorer:

A look at what the old DSLR managed to capture on the shelf reveals some more of the games that were available to me back then: a bunch of educational software, The Sims 2, and SpellForce Gold. 

I might be misremembering but I think they were our Christmas gifts for that year; we both got to pick one game. I had no idea what I wanted, really, but out of all the boxes at (what I think was) the local Fnac store, it was SpellForce that stood out to me the most. Having watched Lord of the Rings the year prior might have been a factor. I somewhat understood Age of Empires years before that, but SpellForce? Man, I loved the hell out of SpellForce. Imagine a top-down RPG that can also be played from a third-person perspective. And with the concept of... hero units... wait a second... now that reminds me of Dota.

Imagine playing a Dota hero with lots of micro-management and being able to build a whole base on new maps. And sometimes visiting very RPG-ish sections (my favorites!) with very little top-down strategy bits, towns, etc. like Siltbreaker. I guess this game was somewhat like an alternate, single-player Dota if you look at it from the right angle. (Not the third-person one.)

I do remember being very excited when I found out that it, too, came with a level editor. I never figured it out, though. I only ever got as far as making a nice landscape for my island, and that was it!

A couple weeks after, it was Christmas; my sister and I got our first modern PC game: The Sims 2. It didn’t run super well—most games didn’t, because the nVidia GeForce FX 5200 wasn’t very good. But that didn’t stop me or my sister from going absolutely nuts with the game. This video has the timestamp of 09 January 2005, and it is the first video I’ve ever made with a computer. Less than two weeks after we got the game, I was already neck-deep in creating stuff.

Not that it was particularly good, of course. This is a video that meets all of the “early YouTube Windows Movie Maker clichés”.

Speaking of YouTube, I did register an account there pretty early on, in August of 2006. I’ve been through all of it. I remember every single layout change. I also started using Sony Vegas around that time. It felt so complex and advanced back then! And I’m still using it today. Besides Windows, Vegas Pro is very likely to be the piece of software that I’ve been using for the longest time.

I don’t have a video on YouTube from before 2009, because I decided to delete all of them out of embarassment. They were mostly Super Mario 64 machinima. It’s as bad as it sounds. The reason I bring that up right now, though, is that it makes the “first” video of my account the last one I made with the Sims 2.

But before I get too far ahead with my early YouTube days, let me go backwards a bit. We got hooked up to the Internet some time in late 2005. It was RTC (dialup), 56 kbps. my first steps into the Internet led me to the Cube engine. Mostly because back then my dad would purchase computer magazines (which were genuinely helpful back then), and came with CDs of common downloadable software for those without Internet connections. One of them linked to Cube. I think it was using either this very same screenshot, or a very similar one, on the same map.

The amazing thing about Cube is not only that it was open-source and moddable, but had map editing built-in the game. The mode was toggled on with a single key press. You could even edit maps cooperatively with other people. Multiplayer mapping! How cool is that?! And the idea of a game that enabled so much creation was amazing to me, so I downloaded it right away. (Over the course of several hours, 30 MiB being large for dialup.)

I made lots of bad maps that never fulfilled the definition of “good level” or “good gameplay”, not having any idea how “game design” meant, or what it even was. But I made places. Places that I could call my own. “Virtual homes”. I still distinctively remember the first map I ever made, even though no trace of it survives to this day. In the second smallest map size possible, I’d made a tower surrounded by a moat and a few smaller cozy towers, with lots of nice colored lighting. This, along with the distinctive skyboxes and intriguing music, made me feel like I’d made my home in a strange new world.

At some point later down the line, I made a kinda-decent singleplayer level. It was very linear, but one of the two lead developers of the game played it and told me he liked it a lot! Of course, half of that statement was probably “to be nice”, but it was really validating and encouraging. And I’m glad they were like that. Because I remember being annoying to some other mappers in the Sauerbraten community (the follow-up to Cube, more advanced technically), who couldn’t wrap their heads around my absolutely god awful texturing work and complete lack of level “design”. Honestly, sometimes, I actually kinda feel like trying to track a couple of them down and being like, “yeah, remember that annoying kid? That was me. Sorry you had to deal with 14-year-old me.”

At some point, I stumbled upon a mod called Cube Legends. It was a heavily Zelda-inspired “total conversion”; a term reserved for mods that are the moddiest mods and try to take away as much of the original foundation as possible. It featured lots of evocative MIDI music by the Norwegian composer Bjørn Lynne. Fun fact: the .mid files are still available officially from his website!

This was at the crossroad of many of my interests. It was yet another piece of the puzzle. As a quick side note, this is why Zelda is the first series that I name in the title of this post, even though I... never really thought of myself as a Zelda fan. It’s not that it’s one of the game series that I like the most, it’s just that, before I started writing this, I’d never realized how far-reaching its influence had been in my life, both in overt and subtle ways, especially during my formative years.

And despite how clearly unfinished, how much of a “draft” Cube Legends was, I could see what it was trying to do. I could see the author’s intent. And I’m still listening to Bjørn Lynne’s music today.

The Cube Engine and its forums were a big part of why I started speaking English so well. Compared to most French people, I mean. We’re notoriously bad with the English language, and so was I up until then. But having this much hands-on practice proved to be immensely valuable. And so, I can say that the game and its community have therefore had long-lasting impacts in my life.

I also tried out a bunch of N64 games via emulation, bringing me right back in that bedroom at my grandparents’ house, with my cousin. Though he did not have either N64 Zelda game back then.

The first online forum I ever joined was a Zelda fan site’s. There are two noteworthy things to say here:

It was managed by a woman who, during my stay in the community, graduated from her animation degree. At this stage I had absolutely no idea that this was going to be the line of work I would eventually pursue!

I recently ran into the former head moderator of the forums. (I don’t know when the community died.) One of the Dota players on my friends list invited him because I was like “hmm, I wanna go as 3, not as 2 players today”. His nickname very vaguely reminded me of something, a weird hunch I couldn’t place. Half an hour into the game, he said “hey Max... this might be a long shot, but did you ever visit [forum]?” and then I immediately yelled “OH MY GOD—IT IS YOU.” The world is a small place.

Access to the computer was sometimes tricky. I didn’t always have good grades, and of course, “punishment” (not sure the word is appropriate, hence the quotes, but you get the idea) often involved locking me out of the computer room. Of course, most times, I ended up trying to find the key instead. I needed my escape from the real world.  (You better believe it’s Tangent Time.)

I was always told I was the “smart kid”, because I “understood things faster” than my classmates. So they made me skip two grades ahead. This made me enter high school at nine years old. The consequences were awful (I was even more of the typical nerdy kid that wouldn’t fit in), and I wish it had never happened. Over the years, I finally understood: I wasn’t more intelligent. I merely had the chance to have been able to grow up with an older brother who’d instilled a sense of curiosity, critical thinking, and taste in books that were ahead of my age and reading level. This situation—and its opposite—is what I believe accounts for the difference in how well kids get to learn. It’s not innate talent, it’s not genetics (as some racists would like you to believe). It’s parenting and privilege.

And that’s why I’ll always be an outspoken proponent for any piece of media that tries to instill critical thinking and curiosity in its viewer, reader, or player.

But I digress.

Well, I’ve been digressing a lot, really, but games aren’t everything and after all, this post is about the context in which I played those games. Otherwise I reckon I would’ve just made a simple list.

I eventually got a Nintendo DS for Christmas, along with Mario Kart DS. My sister had gotten her own just around the time when it released... she had the Nintendogs bundle. We had also upgraded to proper ADSL, what I think was about a ~5 megabits download speed. The Nintendo DS supported wi-fi, which was still relatively rare compared to today. In fact, Nintendo sold a USB wireless adapter to help with that issue—our ISP-supplied modem-router did not have any wireless capabilities. I couldn’t get it the adapter work and I remember I got help from a really kind stranger who knew a lot about networking—to a point that it seemed like wizardry to me.

I remember I got a “discman” as a gift some time around that point. In fact, I still have it. Check out the stickers I put on it! I think those came from the Sims 2 DVD box and/or one of its add-ons.

I burned a lot of discs. In fact, in the stack of burned CDs/DVDs that I found (with the really bad Sims movies somewhere in there), I found at least three discs that had the Zelda album Hyrule Symphony burned in, each with different additional tracks. Some were straight-up MIDI files from vgmusic.com...! And speaking (again) of Zelda, when the Wii came out, Twilight Princess utterly blew my mind. I never got the game or the console, but damn did I yearn badly for it. I listened to the main theme of the game a lot, which didn’t help. I eventually got to play the first few hours at a friend’s place.

At some point, we’d upgraded the family computer to something with a bit more horsepower. It had a GeForce 8500 GT inside, which was eventually upgraded to a 9600 GT after the card failed for some reason. It could also dual-boot between XP and Vista. I stuck with that computer until 2011.

We moved to where I currently live in 2007. I’ve been here over a decade! And before we’d even fully finished unpacking, I was on the floor of the room that is now my office, with the computer on the ground and the monitor on a cardboard box, playing a pirated copy of... Half-Life! It was given to me by my cousin. It took me that long to find out about the series. It’s the first Valve game I played. I also later heard about the Orange Box, but mostly about Portal. Which I also pirated and played. I distinctly remember being very puzzled by the options menu: I thought it was glitched or broken, as changing settings froze the game. Turns out the Source engine had to chug for a little while, like a city car in countryside mud, as it reloaded a bunch of stuff. Patience is a virtue...

But then, something serious happened.

In the afternoon of 25 December 2007, I started having a bit of a dull stomach pain. I didn’t think much of it. Figured maybe I’d eaten too many Christmas chocolates and it’d go away. It didn’t. It progressively deteriorated into a high fever where I had trouble walking and my tummy really hurt; especially if you pressed on it. My parents tried to gently get me to eat something nice on New Year’s Eve, but it didn’t stay in very long. I could only feed myself with lemonade and painkiller. Eventually, the doctor decided I should get blood tests done as soon as possible. And I remember that day very clearly.

I was already up at 6:30 in the morning. Back then, The Daily Show aired on the French TV channel Canal+, so I was watching that, lying in the couch while waiting for my mom to get up and drive me to my appointment, at 7:00. It was just two streets away, but there was no way I could walk there. At around noon, the doctor called and told my mom: “get your son to the emergency room now.”

Long story short, part of my intestines nuked themselves into oblivion, causing acute peritonitis. To give you an idea, that’s something with a double-digit fatality rate. Had we waited maybe a day or two more, I would not be here writing this. They kind of blew up. I had an enormous abcess attached to a bunch of my organs. I had to be operated on with only weak local anaesthetics as they tried to start draining the abscess. It is, to date, by far the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. It was bad enough that the hospital doctor that was on my case told me that I was pretty much a case worthy to be in textbooks. I even had medical students come into my hospital room about it! They were very nice.

This whole affair lasted over a month. I became intimately familiar with TV schedules. And thankfully, I had my DS to keep me company. At the time, I was pretty big into the Tony Hawk DS games. They were genuinely good. They had extensive customization, really great replayability, etc. you get the idea. I think I even got pretty high on the online leaderboards at some point. I didn’t have much to do on some days besides lying down in pain while perfecting my scoring and combo strategies. I think Downhill Jam might’ve been my favorite.

My case was bad enough that they were unable to do something due to the sad state of my insides during the last surgery of my stay. I was told that I could come back in a few months for a checkup, and potentially a “cleanup” operation that would fix me up for good. I came back in late June of 2008, got the operation, and... woke up in my hospital room surrounded by, like, nine doctors, and hooked up to a morphine machine that I could trigger on command. Apparently something had gone wrong during the operation, but they never told me what. I wasn’t legally an adult, so they didn’t have to tell me. I suspect it’s somewhere in some medical files, but I never bothered to dig up through my parents’ archives, or ask the hospital. And I think I would rather not know. But anyway, that was almost three more weeks in the hospital. And it sucked even more that time because, you see, hospital beds do not “breathe” like regular beds do. The air can’t go through. Let’s say I’m intimately familiar with the smell of back sweat forever.

When I got out, my mom stopped by a supermarket on the way home. And that is when I bought The Orange Box, completely on a whim, and made my Steam account. Why? Because it was orange and stood out on the shelf.

(As a side note, that was the whole bit I started writing first, and that made me initially title this post “growing pains”. First, because I’m bad at titles. Second, because not that I didn’t have them otherwise (ow oof ouch my knees), but that was literally the most painful episode of my entire life thus far and it ended in a comically-unrelated, high-impact, life-changing decision. Just me picking up The Orange Box after two awful hospital stays... led me to where I am today.)

While I was recovering, I also started playing EarthBound! Another bit of a life-changer, that one. To a lesser extent, but still. I was immediately enamored by its unique tone. Giygas really really really creeped me out for a while afterwards though. I still get unsettled if I hear its noises sometimes.

I later bought Garry’s Mod (after convincing my mom that it was a “great creative toolbox that only cost ten bucks!”), and, well, the rest is history. By which I mean, a lot of my work and gaming activity since 2009 is still up and browsable. But there are still a few things to talk about.

In 2009, I bought my first computer with YouTube ad money: the Asus eee PC 1005HA-H. By modern standards, it’s... not very powerful. The processor in my current desktop machine is nearly 50 times as fast as its Atom N280. It had only one gigabyte of RAM, Windows 7 Basic Edition, and an integrated GPU barely worthy of the name; Intel didn’t care much for 3D in their chips back then. The GMA 945 didn’t even have hardware support for Transform & Lighting.

But I made it work, damn it. I made that machine run so much stuff. I played countless Half-Life and Half-Life 2 mods on it—though, due to the CPU overhead on geometry, some of those were trickier. I think one of the most memorable ones I played was Mistake of Pythagoras; very surreal, very rough, but I still remember it so clearly. I later played The Longest Journey on it, in the middle of winter. It was a very cozy and memorable experience. (And another one that’s an adventure wonderful outlandish alien universe. LOVE THOSE.)

I did more than playing games on it, though...

This is me sitting, sunburned on the nose, in an apartment room, on 06 August 2010. This was in the Pyrénées, at the border between France and Spain. We had a vacation with daily hiking. Some of the landscapes we visited reminded me very strongly of those from Lost Eden, way up the page...

So, you see, I had 3ds Max running on that machine. The Source SDK as well. Sony Vegas. All of it was slow; you bet I had to use some workarounds to squeeze performance out of software, and that I had to keep a close, watchful eye on RAM usage. But I worked on this thing. I really did! I animated this video’s facial animation bits (warning: this is old & bad) on the eee PC, during the evenings of the trip, when we were back at our accomodation. The Faceposer tool in the Source SDK really worked well on that machine.

I also animated an entire video solely on the machine (warning: also old and bad). It had to be rendered on the desktop computer... but every single bit of the animation was crafted on the eee PC.

I made it work.

Speaking of software that did not run well: around that time, I also played the original Crysis. The “but can it run Crysis?” joke was very much justified back then. I had to edit configuration files by hand so that I could run the game in 640x480... because I wanted to keep most of the high-end settings enabled. The motion blur was delicious, and it blew my mind that the effect made the game feel this smooth, despite wobbling around in the 20 to 30 fps range.

Alright. It’s time to finish writing this damn post and publish it at last, so I’m going to close it out by listing some more memories and games that I couldn’t work in up there.

Advance Wars. Strategy game on GBA with a top-down level editor. You better believe I was all over the editor right away.

BioShock. When we got the 2007 desktop computer, it was one of the first games I tried. Well, its demo, to be precise. Its tech and graphics blew my mind, enough that I saved up to buy the full game. This was before I had a Steam account; I got a boxed copy! I think it might have been the last boxed game I ever bought? It had a really nice metal case. The themes and political messages of the game flew way over my head, though.

Mirror’s Edge. The art direction was completely fascinating to me, and it introduced me to Solar Fields’ music; my most listened artist this decade, by a long shot.

L.A. Noire. I lost myself in its stories and investigations, and then, I did it all again, with my sister at the helm. I very rarely play games twice (directly or indirectly), which I figure is worth mentioning.

Zeno Clash. It was weird and full of soul, had cool music, and cool cutscenes. It inspired me a lot in my early animation days.

Skyward Sword. Yep, going back to Zelda on that one. The whole game was pretty good, and I’m still thinking about how amazing its art direction was. Look up screenshots of it running in HD on an emulator... it’s outstanding. But there’s a portion of the game that stands tall above the rest: the Lanayru Sand Sea. It managed to create a really striking atmosphere in many aspects, through and through. I still think about it from time to time, especially when its music comes on in shuffle mode.

Wandersong. A very recent pick, but it was absolutely a life-changing one. That game is an anti-depressant, a vaccine against cynicism, a lone bright and optimist voice.

I realize now this is basically a “flawed but interesting and impactful games” list. With “can establish its atmosphere very well” as a big criteria. (A segment of video games that is absolutely worth exploring.)

I don’t know if I’ll ever make my own video game. I have a few ideas floating around and I tried prototyping some stuff, though my limited programming abilities stood in my way. But either way, if it happens one day, I hope I’ll manage to channel all those years of games into the CULMINATION OF WHAT I LIKE. Something along those lines, I reckon.

[bloggerjoedoe]

With yesterday’s releases of iOS 14.1 and HomePod Software Version 14.1, which could really use a catchier name, Apple has introduced several new features announced last week at its iPhone 12 and HomePod mini event. Most readers are probably already familiar with what’s in the updates based on our iPhone 12 and HomePod mini overviews, so I thought I’d update my HomePods and devices to provide some hands-on thoughts about the changes.

Most of the new features are related to the HomePod. Although proximity-based features are exclusive to the HomePod mini, which features Apple’s U1 Ultra Wideband chip, some of the other functionality revealed last week is available on all HomePod models.

Intercom

Until the HomePod mini ships, Intercom is limited to the original HomePod.

At last week’s Apple event, the company introduced Intercom, a new feature that allows you to broadcast announcements using the Home app or Siri. After you update to HomePod Software Version 14.1 using iOS or iPadOS 14.1, you can broadcast to a HomePod in a specific room or zone of your home or all of your HomePods at once. Apple says the feature will work with the Apple Watch, iPhone, and iPad too, but as I’ll detail below, that’s not working yet, at least for me.

If you’re running 14.1 on an iPhone or iPad, you can open the Home app, long press on a HomePod, and tap on the gear icon to access its settings where you can update the HomePod to version 14.1. After your HomePod is running 14.1, you���ll see a new option in the HomePod’s settings called Intercom. Tap through to make sure the feature is turned on for your HomePods.

Once set up, you can use commands like “Hey Siri, tell everyone it’s time for dinner” using one HomePod, and your message will be broadcast to any other HomePods you have. You can also say things like “Hey Siri, Intercom Living Room,” and in my example, Siri will prompt you to record a message that will be sent to only the HomePod called “Living Room.’

After a day of testing Intercom between HomePods located in my office and our living room, the feature has worked as advertised. However, the utility of Intercom is directly proportional to the number of HomePods you have. I have two, and if I know someone is in the living room as I work in my office, the feature is a handy way to send a message. I could accomplish the same thing by dictating a text message, but they might not have their iPhone handy, or I may not know which of my family members is in the living room, making Intercom a better option.

With iOS 14.2, other devices will join in the Intercom messaging fun.

What I’m really looking forward to, though, is adding a HomePod mini or two to the Intercom mix along with other devices. Right now, if you ask Siri to send a message via Intercom using any device other than a HomePod, you’ll get a response that the feature only works with HomePods, which is potentially confusing to anyone who watched last week’s Apple event.

The Home app’s iPadOS 14.2 onboarding process.

However, if you’re running the iOS or iPadOS 14.2 beta, you’ll find additional Intercom UI in the Home app. With iPadOS 14.2 installed, I was greeted by a set of onboarding popups that explained Intercom, asked me to choose between never using the feature with my iPad, using it only when I’m home, or using it anywhere. Finally, I was prompted to pick who among the family members I’d previously added to the Home app could use Intercom.

On iPadOS 14.2, there’s a new button in the Home UI for sending Intercom messages.

Sending an Intercom message from the Home app.

iOS and iPadOS 14.2 add a new button in the Home app UI that looks like an audio waveform for sending Intercom messages. The button only appears in rooms that include a HomePod. Tap it, and you should be able to send an Intercom message to the HomePod in that room, though it didn’t work in my tests. I suspect the missing piece of the puzzle is an update to the HomePod’s software that I expect will be released along with iOS and iPadOS 14.2, at which point you’ll be able to use the feature with all supported devices.

The Home app’s new Discover tab on iPhones running iOS 14.1.

While I’m on the subject of the Home app, it’s worth noting that the new Discover tab appears in iOS 14.1 but not on iPadOS. From Discover, you can learn more about HomeKit devices and access links to products sold through the Apple Store app in a format that is reminiscent of the App Store’s editorial content.

Alarms

The HomePod alarms UI in iOS 14 (left) and iOS 14.1 (right).

HomePod alarms can now be set to play music when they go off. Alarms support any song, playlist, or radio station available in Apple Music. To set one, long-press on a HomePod inside the Home app. Previously, setting up an alarm only allowed you to name an alarm, pick the time it would go off, and designate whether it was a repeating alarm.

After you update your HomePod and iOS device to 14.1, adding an alarm or editing an existing one will look different. First, the tumbler-style time picker has been updated to the new iOS 14 time picker. Second, there’s a new Alarm Sound section that lets you pick between playing the HomePod’s default tone or media, which reveals additional settings when selected.

Adding music as an alarm.

The first button, ‘Select Media,’ offers options to pick music from the Listen Now, Browse, Radio, and Library sections of the Music app. Picking any of the four options opens a view within the Home app that is identical to that section of the Music app, but with the Home app’s toolbar buttons at the top. Also, in a very nice touch, you can choose between the current volume of the HomePod for your alarm or a custom volume, which will undoubtedly save many people from having to be pulled off the ceiling when they wake up after listening to loud music the night before. Once you’ve picked what you want the alarm to play, the alarm details display the artwork for your selection.

I’ve been considering putting a HomePod mini in my bedroom, and even before I’ve tried the mini, I can guarantee that I’d rather wake up to a song or playlist than the HomePod’s default alarm. The change is a small, but I expect it will increase my use of HomePod alarms dramatically.

Other Siri Updates

Location and web-based queries fielded by your HomePod are sent to your iPhone as Siri Suggestions.

Siri has been updated on the HomePod too. If you ask about a location, Siri suggestions will appear in the Maps app on your iOS devices. Sure enough, when I asked my HomePod for directions to Del Rhea’s Chicken Basket, I got a Siri suggestion in Maps on my iPhone within seconds.

Similarly, Siri can send web searches to your iPhone. Everyone wants to know the difference between seals and sea lions, so I asked Siri, which helpfully sent two websites and a YouTube video to my iPhone.

Siri works better across multiple HomePods now too. You can stop alarms, timers, and media playback on any HomePod from another one. Voice recognition, which already works to distinguish members of your household for things like Calendar events and tasks in Reminders, now works with the Podcasts app, too, allowing individualized experiences for everyone in your household.

I’m excited for the full roll-out of Intercom. Once other devices and HomePod minis are online, the feature should be a quick and easy way to communicate with family members spread around your house. With a teenager who spends a lot of time in his bedroom with the door closed and headphones on, this could end my days of shouting up the stairs at dinnertime. The location-based Siri suggestions are another touch I know I’ll use a lot as I get ready to go somewhere and want directions sent to my iPhone without having to dig it out. As Federico and I recently discussed on AppStories, Apple seems to be making a renewed push with HomeKit, Siri, and the HomePod that should be interesting to watch over the next year and beyond.

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[recentanimenews]

INTERVIEW: Keeping English Dubbing Alive In The Wake Of COVID-19

  With the state of emergency affecting the rate of production in Japan, the anime industry has taken steps to become operational once again, but under new safety guidelines. Part of those safety guidelines includes changing the setup for voice recordings. In Japan, voice actors will typically work in groups where they will all record an episode in the studio together, but that's not really an option right now in a COVID-19 world. Instead, Japanese voice actors have had to downsize when it comes to voice recordings, and are now recording multiple episodes one actor at a time. While this is a big change for the dubbing industry in Japan that will require some time to adjust to, this method of recording is actually the standard in the States. So, if Japanese voice actors are adjusting to the way English voice actors record anime, then how are English voice actors recording during the COVID-19 pandemic? The answer is ... remotely.

  Adapting To Remote Recordings

  At the time this article is written, other countries have slowly begun to open back up, however, some businesses and industries in the U.S. remain closed. Businesses like the dubbing industry have had to adapt to different methods in order to continue to operate. When it came time to conduct remote voiceover sessions, some voice actors found themselves ready — or at least somewhat ready. Like voice actress Faye Mata (Konosuba, The Rising of the Shield Hero). "I wasn't super prepared, but I had looked into recording remotely before we were all forced into that hikikomori (shut-in) life so I had a general idea of what I'd need. I guess it gave me a reason to finally take the leap." 

  Other voice actors, on the other hand, weren't as prepared for work-from-home life, as was the case for voice actress Laura Stahl (Welcome To Demon School Irumi-Kun, The Promised Neverland). "Oh, I was soooo not prepared!" says Stahl. "At the time I was working off of an 'all-in-one' monitor/computer, auditioning with a very basic USB mic. I had never had a remote record session before. Not to mention I didn't have the chance to go home and work on changing that situation for over a month into lockdown. I was staying with a friend for a little while. The whole thing was anxiety-inducing."

  Having to quickly adapt to the new workflow didn't just mean recording from home. It also meant voice actors having to create an environment in their living space that is optimal for voice overwork. Voice actor Chris Hackney, (Tower of God, Fire Emblem: Three Houses) explains, "When we had to stop going into studios, it was a mad dash to try and get a decent enough acoustic setup in my home so that I could hopefully be up to an acceptable standard to the studios."

Voice actors have the tough challenge of creating a space that could produce audio equivalent to that of audio produced in a sound studio. Depending on space and funds, for some actors that meant building/investing in a recording booth, for others, it meant soundproofing a space in their homes, such as closets! Voice actor Robbie Daymond, (Sailor Moon, The God of High School) took to Twitter to show fans a handcrafted recording booth complete with custom framework and ventilation system. 

  — Robbie Daymond (@robbiedaymond) August 10, 2020

  Mata explains, "I went through a breakup just before lockdown and went into full work mode, buying and upgrading my home studio and a streaming setup because I was determined to stay positive and be successful rather than stew in sad panda mode." In a YouTube video, Mata takes fans on a virtual tour of Porygon-Q, a prebuilt Studiobricks One Plus booth. "I used to record in my closet," says Mata. "But realizing how long we'd be out of studios, I didn't want to gamble anymore on neighbors taking random showers at like 4 PM (those SHHHHH water sounds are brutal). Also, I don't want them to think I'm murdering people all the time. My roommate has received texts from the neighbors asking if everything's alright because they heard screeching and yelling." Porygon-Q is equipped with various microphones for animation, video games, and commercials, "[Thick] squishy pads people stand on while washing dishes that genius moms probably invented so I don't get tired standing during long sessions, and a scented unlit candle so it always smells nice," explains Mata. 

    As previously mentioned, due to each actor's unique circumstance, every setup is different. "My recording space is in my bedroom," says Stahl. "I have a solid-state mini gaming pc mounted to the wall behind my desk, two monitors for ease of dubbing, carpets on the floor and foam on the ceiling to dampen noise — and I suppose the most unique thing about my space is that I ran a track in a U shape on my ceiling around my desk and hung sound blankets from them." This home studio sounds pretty original, and Stahl had a lot to think of when creating her space. "I considered using my closet, but it's not very large and would've been cramped and uncomfortable, which is a distraction for acting. I didn't want to use the common areas for ease of living for my housemates, and I didn't have an [exorbitant] amount of money or time to spend on something like a true booth. This seemed the most [efficient], and cost-effective solution."

  Creating a home space conducive for voice recordings was the first part of the remote recording process for actors. The next step would be working with studios on what is needed to conduct smooth recording sessions. Dubbing studios like Funimation gave fans a sneak peek into how they conduct their remote recordings with the release of My Hero Academia Episode 84. In a Twitter post, ADR director Colleen Clinkenbeard describes Funimation's remote process where special dub kits were sent to the cast. She also shows fans an iPad with the software to be used for the session which Clinkenbeard describes as a "mini little Pro Tools." When it comes time to actually record from home, "It gets easier the more you work with each production house," says Stahl. "They [studios] do each have their own particular way they want to do things — and the first session with a client since lockdown began is always a little nerve-wracking. Then you start to get into the groove of how you need to prepare for each session depending on who you're working with that day."

  — Funimation (@FUNimation) April 10, 2020

  SDI Media, the studio who dubbed DEVILMAN Crybaby, discusses workflow and tips for voice actors when setting up their recording space in a recently published article. With each studio taking a different approach, Chris Hackney finds that "Most studios are using some combination of Zoom/Skype/Etc to talk to me while I record and then there's various professional methods to stream the high-quality audio back to the studio. A bad Internet connection means you could also blow a perfect take, so it's a lot to think of. The other weird thing is sort of doing my own engineering, where I'll have to think 'Oh, this line is going to get kind of loud,' so I may have to manually control that so we don't blow a take. It's a brave new world for us all, but I'm happy to make it work." We can only imagine the extra level of difficulty added to each recording session now that voice actors need to become more cognizant of not only their performance but the technical results. While this must be difficult for the VAs, it does make sense seeing as everyone involved in the production of dubbing has to go the extra mile to continue to operate — including the audio engineers. "Bless the engineers right now," Hackney says. "Because they have the Herculean task of making all of us sound like we recorded in the same space."

  The Challenges Of Remote Recordings

Maybe you used to think recording anime voice-overs from your home seemed like a dream. But now we know it doesn't come without its challenges. Studios are specifically designed for conducting smooth and efficient recordings blocking out any and all noise from the outside, but every actor's remote space presents its own obstacles that need to be worked through. Dangers to a solid recording session can be cars passing by, aircrafts traveling overhead, unexpected maintenance work, or lawnmowers, just to name a few. For Chris Hackney, it's "Trash day and my kids! Myself — and I know many others — just don't have the kind of money or space to build something top-of-the-line like at a studio, so we're at the mercy of whatever the world has to throw at us. Trash day? Gotta wait for them to leave or schedule around it. My kids play a little too loud? Blown take. Everyone's doing their best to make this work, and I'm thankful for the patience."

    Remote recordings definitely present their fair share of challenges, but does working from home mean more work overall? "100 percent," says Mata. "As far as working in LA goes, eliminating the wait in traffic for two hours every session gave me more time in my day! ... to be even more of [a] workaholic." For others, the answer is a little more complicated because once again, every voice actor's situation is different. "Actually I try to limit how many sessions I put into a day, or at least space them out well because I share this living space," says Stahl. "I can't ask my roommates not to leave the house between the hours of 9-4 PM just because I live over the garage. Nor can I ask my roommate who works in the office by my room to whisper in all of his Zoom meetings and phone calls. And I don't want to leave my air conditioning off for 6-8 hours in August. I try to be [courteous] to my housemates."

  Is the Future of English Dubbing Remote?

With the prolonged closures, no one really knows when English dubbing will become fully operational at studios again. Because of the uncertainty surrounding the virus, and with actors and studios adjusting to this new way of dubbing, it begs the question if the dubbing industry will adopt remote recordings permanently. For Chris Hackney, the answer is, "Not at all. The current environment is a fine substitute for the time being, but having a studio full of talent and the creative team can't be beat."

But this doesn't mean all talent are anxious to get back in the studio. "I see a healthy mixture of both," says Mata. "Some people have been recording remotely for a long time. When the US gets its ship together and it's safe to record in the same studio again, that is honestly best for audio consistency as far as space + equipment goes ... but even then, it's possible to adapt." And Stahl? "I think it's going to be a mixture. I do think many projects will go back to in-person recording. But at the same time, the fact that many actors have improved their home setups for this situation widens the talent pool. If a show that's produced in LA really wants an actor who's living in Atlanta now — it's more feasible. Or perhaps, if there are some actors that wouldn't consider a supporting role because it may not be worth the commute from say the OC to Burbank to them — now maybe they can negotiate. Only time will tell."

  The COVID-19 virus has caused worry and disruption on a global scale. Many are unsure when things will return to normal, and even when they do, will businesses continue to operate under the safety guidelines implemented during the pandemic, or will they try to return to the same workflow as once before? As Stahl said, "Only time will tell." But until then, great job to all the voice actors, studio staff, and recording engineers who are working hard to keep bringing anime to the fans!

What are your thoughts on the English dubbing industry's remote recording process? Let us know in the comments!

      To keep up with their work, you can follow Laura Stahl, Chris Hackney, and Faye Mata on social media. 

  Pro hero Veronica Valencia is an anime-loving hot sauce enthusiast! You can follow more of her work as a host, writer, and producer on Twitter and Instagram.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[keep-your-feet]

WEEK 14 & 15 OF 'LOCK DOWN'

The weeks are just flying by, quite scary really. Especially when you think about how much has or more to the point hasn't actually changed.

There's still no vaccine, we still can't stop the spread, and we still don't know what to do.

But it's ok because Boris has said bars and hair salons are allowed to re open now and the 2m distance rule can go down to 1m - however Leicester has had to go back into stage 1 lockdown due to an increased infection rate - meaning schools are re shutting as are all but essential shops and travel.

This reminds me back when it all first kicked off in China and i saw a post of various ‘districts’ / ‘areas’ being ‘barrier’d’ off and manned by guards - people couldn’t leave their houses/areas without the correct documents. It sounds drastic - but for me seeing that take place calmed me as at least it helped  minimalise the spread. 

I’m not sure what they’re going to do here - there’s rumours that more districts will need be contained soon - and I’ve heard bars in my city are asking people to bring proof of address with them to prove they are in fact from this area and not from a district that has been ‘locked down’. 

you may note I say ‘we’ in the second paragraph - and it’s true, we have to play our part too. Luckily from what I've seen around me and my social network I feel that Nottinghamshire has been quite sensible. And a lot of people I've spoke to, don't agree with bars etc re opening, and aren't in any rush to be socialising. Even if it is restricted to 2hour time limits and has to be pre booked. I know I for one will be trying to stay away from crowded high risk areas for a long while. I am however looking forward to the campsites re opening again soon – we have our own water tanks and toilet so we wouldn’t need to see, do or touch anything other than our walking boots on the great outdoor floor! so fingers crossed we wont have to go back into lockdown so that we get to go - although - if we did i wouldn’t kick off as like I said above I feel we need to do what is necessary to stop the spread. I definitely don’t feel enough was done at the start - and now we’re in this mess of not really knowing how bad it is.  I still daren’t read the news stories - plus i don’t believe half of them anyway as they’re only telling us what they’re allowed to - or scare mongering - so who actually knows what is going on... i think that’s what scares me the most about the whole situation - my life, our lives are in someone else’s hands - who i don’t trust, and i don’t feel like there is anything i can do about it. 

What makes it even more frustrating for me - is I know that’s not 100% true, because if i looked into it more, i could join some form of group, or protest - learn more - to do more - but it’s just all so overwhelming i shut down - i mentally and physically shut down. And it’s not just this - the Black Lives Matter movement, the save the planet movement, not testing on animals, not eating meat, saving animals in need - saving the rainforests - the media is full of people and things telling me what i should or could be doing, how i should be feeling, and asking - almost demanding - that I help - and I want to - but it is all just too much for me at the moment, like where do you start? How do you start? and it makes me feel awful because i want to do my part - but i’m just too overwhelmed. 

I keep trying to tell myself to remember that I am on a long journey of self discovery right now… and step 1-  this blog, is the starting point of me ‘baby stepping’ out of my bubble that I built to protect myself many years ago and venturing out into the ‘real world’ - watching and taking note of what is actually going on around me - and trying to process it mentally - it sounds so simple but for someone who’s lived quite a sheltered, naive and privileged life - its quite a lot to take in.

And I feel like it’s getting worse - the more i break out of my bubble. I can't scroll social media, listen to the news, or text my friends without feeling anxious like I should be doing something more, because I'm now more aware of what's going on in the world around me. I don't understand it, but I'm more aware.

Step two - is me trying to form some sort of understanding to it all -  hence my crazy ramblings on here. 

Step three is then starting to make a difference - BUT remembering i can’t take on everything or fix everything all at once  – and that’s a real difficulty for me. For example, often if i can’t have both things I’ll just go without because i don’t feel it’s fair on the thing that got left behind - crazy i know! But hey thats me! And that’s another part of myself I need to try and understand.

Yesterday was the first time I’ve been into the office at work since the end of March, and it took so much out of me. I was proper anxious, even though I know they have safety measures in place, for example my temperature was read at the door, ‘sneeze’ guards were in place, doors were propped open where appropriate - cleaning has been stepped up - and certain toilet ‘blocks’ have been closed so they can monitor and keep them clean. But what I found strange was that sudden fear of ‘urgency’ that comes over me when I go to head office - like I didn’t eat or drink anything the whole time I was there because I felt like I was ‘too busy’ - and overthinking the dust particles in the air that will be contaminated from people going in and out - silly I know. 

But the thing is - when we do have to go back, I’ll be sat in an open plan office with 100’s of other people, breathing the same air, through the same air con, for 7hours or so - and I don’t know what those people have been up to, or where they’ve been - yet again my life is in someone else hands - it’s out of my control - and that’s what I’ve learnt I don’t like -  not being in control. 

Yesterday for some reason, i felt so emotionaly overwhelmed. Just stuck. Confused, Lonely, bored, scared, but when i truly think about it, it all comes back to this feeling of fear of ‘wasting time’. And what makes me feel worse is how horrid, and ungrateful i sound  – i am really lucky be where i am today, to have what i have, to of done what I’ve done - i have Dave and the Dog and a great family. I should be happy - but for some reason i just want more (for us - I'd be lost without Dave and Wander, there my rocks ❤️) and every now and again I get this horrid grey cloud over my head that i cant shift. It makes me feel numb - but at the same time - fidgety and like my insides are just vibrating/buzzing - like i’m building up ready to explode. Yet i have no motivation or get up and go to do anything about it.. which is SO frustratng becasue i know going for a run will probably help - I know getting up and tidying the shit that's annoying me would help - but i just can’t seem to do it some days. Even when i break the tasks down into smaller tasks, it’s like there’s just so much and i get over whelemed and don’t know where to start so i do nothing, and get then annoyed by it - it’s a visious cycle! Luckily I don't feel like this everyday, it’s just every now and again.

Works good on a day like this as it sucks you in as you have to do it - but in the same breath i hate it - becasue im bored and feel trapped - like it’s work that’s stopping me from doing what it is i want to do! when It’s not really - it’s me! 

A friend of mine has recommended some audio books which I’m going to give a go, as well as finishing Fearne Cottons ‘calm’ and other books I have - however it really was bad timing to try and do some self discovery right before one of your worst night mares comes to life - resulting in an ever so fragile mind state! 😂🤷‍♀️😭

Anyway, I  have amazing friends and family around me – so I know I'll get through it all and I will forever be grateful for that and them. ❤️

On my bad days, I often make lists or sometimes just think of them in my head of all the things I’m grateful for.. I’ll text friends or family and plan a nice dog walk. Mood dependant I might go for a run, or run a bubble bath! some days i eat my weight in chocolate! I might do anything I can to distract myself - or i might try and dig deeper and think about what is at the core of my ‘brain niggle’ and try to resolve it. There is no right or wrong, or quick fix - you just have to do you  ❤️

[donaldresslerfanfic]

Loss.

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language, Sexual Content.

Word Count: 2857

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Forty Three.

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Maggie

I felt like the day didn't have enough hours anymore, after our anniversary I'd been working non-stop in all of my projects, having to stop my sister's house for a month, they were coming to live here in June anyway.

I quickly realized how good it was to be just an employee, because now that I half ran a company, there were a lot of things that I didn't even know I had to take care of.

The day Liz Keen died I had a small feeling that something was going to happen that day.

Don and I did our routine like always, but it was in a reunion with Oscar Carter, my boss, that my phone began to vibrate, I let it be because I knew it would be rude, and as soon as I got off it I checked the voicemail that had been left to me.

"Baby, it's me. Listen if you don't have anything to do today then now you do. Keen is celebrating her wedding today and I'm working, don't think I'm going to make it on time, but if you could go on behalf of the couple to not let Liz alone, I think that would be nice. And if you're busy I understand, just letting you know. Love you"

I sighed and reached my office, closing the door and sitting in my chair.

I looked at the things that needed review in my desk, plus a sticky note with an adress that I needed to check out today to make an evaluation on the progress.

I took my phone out and quickly sent a text to Don.

"Sorry Don I don't think I'll be able to make it either, I'm up the neck with work" I excused, then sent the text.

I didn't return home until well past 6 pm, almost 7. The sun was setting down fast and the first thing I did when I got home was to take out my heels and leaving them near the couch.

The house was silent, so I guessed Don wasn't here yet.

I went upstairs to leave my bag and a couple of files I had to overlook tonight, then got into some comfortable clothes. I took the files downstairs and while I dropped them on the table I turned the kitchen island and turned on the coffee maker, I looked inside the kitchen cabinet and pulled out some crackers, turning on my heels and walking to the table.

I frowned when I saw Don sitting in the couch. He still had everything on, and was looking nowhere.

I walked to him and bent down to his eyelevel

"Don?" I placed my hand on his knee. He blinked once and met my eyes. "What's wrong?"

He silently grabbed my hand and pulled me up, making me seat next to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and listened to him.

"Liz, she uh" he stopped, looking to the side. I squeezed his shoulder tighter and while he sighed he said "she's gone"

I could see his face turn somber, he leaned forward and pressed two fingers on his eyes, leaning his elbow on his knee.

I just sat there, processing.

"And her baby?" I whispered. He shook his head and leaned back, I could see his eyes starting to get red.

"The baby is fine. She'll need to be in the hospital for a month because she was born early but..." He stopped again, then remained silent.

Slowly he turned his body to me and hugged me by the waist, placing his head on the curve of my neck. I placed one of my hands on the back off his head, slowly caressing his neck, while the other one sat on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Don" was all I could say. "I'm sure you did everything you could"

"I don't think I did" he whispered against my neck.

I could only hold him, because I didn't know how the situation turned out. It didn't lasted that long. He simple pulled back from my embrace and stood up.

"I need some fresh air" he said while walking towards the living room. I didn't know if I should offer to go with him, but he kind of didn't left me with much time to think, he just left the house.

I rubbed my eyes with the palm of my hand, giving that seeing Don so broken had made me teary eyed.

I couldn't focus much on work after that, I called Dembe, at first he didn't answered, so I called Samar.

She wasn't in a good shape, but did told me how the day had unfolded, and how Liz had died.

Even though the last time we spoke was in a tense situation, with the whole hunt thing with Liz, I still didn't know if she would ever want to talk to me for ratting her out like that. Still, I offered myself in case she needed anyone to talk to.

When I tried for a second time, Dembe picked up.

"Dembe" I said relieved "it's Maggie. I heard, how's Raymond holding up?"

I slowly stirred away the spaghetti in the pot. Some days I didn't feel like going full Gordon Ramsay on my meals, some pesto would suffice for today.

"He's having a hard time" he said, I twisted my lips and sighed, leaning back on the counter. Before I could say anything I heard the front door open and close.

I tried to listen if Don was going to say anything, but instead he skipped the steps upstairs.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Please give him a big hug for me"

"I will"

"And he'll pull through, I think you more than anyone know that"

"Thank you Maggie"

I pressed my lips in a tight smile and hung up, looking at the pasta boil.

I lowered the fire and walked to the living room, then went up the stairs.

I could hear the water running, and when I doubled checked that he was actually taking a shower, I walked downstairs again to wait for him.

He came downstairs when I was just draining the pasta. I turned my upped body when I heard him walk to the kitchen, he was dressed normal and almost ready to hit the bed, but I was glad he looked a little more composed.

"Need help with anything?"

"If you can set the table baby that'll be great" I said finishing with the pesto and mixing it with the pasta. I heard him go over the cabinets and picking up the different things and taking them to the table.

I took the pot and dragged it to the kitchen table while Don doubled back to get out drinks, both sodas.

Once we sat down, I couldn't help to look at him, while I served him. When we had our plates full, I felt his hand in mine.

"I spoke to Samar earlier" I mentioned "sounds to me like you did all you could" I looked at Don, and how he avoided my gaze "you were outnumbered and-"

"Outplayed" he interrupted, I could see his eyes moving under his eyelids, he was thinking about something. "They had military grade gear, armored cars, weaponry"

He took a bite of the spaghetti and while he chewed he kept thinking.

He made a gesture with his hand and stood up, but before he could walk past me I placed my hand on his chest

"I didn't meant to trigger you into agent Ressler mode" I said half joking, I took his hand and pulled him to the table.

He sat back down, giving my a little amused look.

I felt his hand on mine again, only this time he pulled up my hand to kiss the back of my hand.

The next day, I walked into the kitchen to find Don sitting in our table, laptop in place and was listening to some audio on his large headphones.

He gave me a look when I walked in, and before I walked to him my phone vibrated in my hand, I looked at the next from my boss. I gave it quick look while walking to the coffee maker and getting ready to pour a cup.

"How long have you been up?" I said looking at my phone, the text said the director wanted to see me as soon as I got into the firm, I gave a twist of lips and felt Don stand next to me, handing me an already filled cup.

I saw him eye my phone, seeing what I was doing or what I was texting, so I turned it to him, he gave me a look and turned on his heels.

"Don't scoff at me, you're the one peeping tommying into my phone" he shook his head and we both walked to the table, I sat and sighed, my heels were already killing me. Taking a more inspecting look at Don I noticed he wasn't in his usual suit and tie. "Why aren't you..." I motioned at him "suited up?"

"I'm not going to the site today, no one is. I'm going to take my spare time to check evidence, see what I can come up with for the investigation later on"

I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. I fished a paper out of my bag and held it

"If you're not too tired when you're done" I begun, handing him the paper "these are my newest clients, and I wanted to see if anything came up on your end. I really don't want to make the same mistake twice"

"I've got you baby" he said taking the paper and leaving it below the laptop. I took one last swig at the coffee and stood up again, taking my purse and checking I had everything on me.

Then, I leaned in to Don, waiting for him to turn his head around so I could give him a kiss goodbye.

When he did, I quickly kisses him and turned back on my heels, leaving him to his work.

"It's weird to be on this side" he said, making me stopped halfway through the hall and turn back to look at him.

"On what side?"

"The side where you leave to work on a hurry and I don't do anything for the day"

I scoffed and placed my hand on my waist.

"I don't do nothing if I stay back in the house okay? I work" I said half offended "and also, I'm still waiting for you to slave your ass on the kitchen just like I do everyday for my beloved boyfriend"

"This day might be the day" he said with a little smirk as he took the headphones and put them on.

I smiled, because all of our fights weren't really fights, we just playfully called eachother out.

"Taking your word" I pointed at him playfully and smiled, I got ready to leave again, turning on my heels and walking to the entrance. Halfway through the living room I head Don call back.

"I love you Mags"

I placed my hand on the handle, and it took a lot of strength on my part opening the door and finally leaving the house, but before that I called back at him.

"I love you too Donnie."

Once I got to the firm, Cynthia grabbed my bag and coat, taking it to my office. I really didn't like it when people did that, it made me feel like I was better or more important than them and that was definitely not the case, she was my assistant, but she mainly kept remembering me about my appointments and took admissions for new jobs, that didn't meant she was my servant. I tried to tell her she didn't need to do that the first time she did it but she insisted it is wasn't a big deal, maybe it wasn't.

After I walked along the hall towards the office, I checked myself, seeing that I didn't have anything on me. When I got to the door I knocked, and my boss told me I could come in.

I entered the office with a little smile, then closed the door behind me.

He made a gesture for me to sit down in the chairs in front of him, and while I did it he began talking.

"How are the jobs going? I've been getting nothing but good news from the accountants." He complimented. I folded my hands in my lap and smiled.

"Everything is going great, I have two new admissions I need to start working on for the next month, and if everything goes well I can take on two more projects to oversee"

"That's great but-" since I came in he hadn't taken his eyes off the computer monitor in front of him, but he interrupted himself to look at me in the eyes. "I'm going to need a favor from you" he folded his hands above the desk as well.

I nodded complacently, waiting for him to continue.

"As you know, the American Institute of Architects is having its reunion this year in Arizona, and I'll like you to go in representation of the firm, giving that I already have to fly to a conference in Shanghai tomorrow morning"

"Uhh" I lingered, then sighed. This wasn't good.

"Is there a problem? You're not one to shy away from these events, specially not from the AIA."

"No, I know-" I made a gesture with my hand "I'm not doubting on going, it's just that..." I shook my head and looked at Oscar. I had told him as little as I saw fit about Don, that he was law enforcement and that he was my boyfriend, that was all everyone in the firm knew. And even though Oscar didn't know him, I could tell he was a little concerned. "Don had a loss in the family yesterday and I don't think it would be nice of me to just leave him"

Oscar gave me a little saddened look, and while he retreated his hands and placed them back on the computer, I leaned in to keep talking to him.

"But I also know that he wouldn't let me miss things from work so, give me today to talk to him and I'll arrange everything"

He gave me a thankful look and danced his fingers on the keyboard

"Let me know if you're going and I'll have Anita take care of your accomodations in Arizona"

I saw that as my queue to leave, and once I was in my office I checked the pile of papers on top of my desk. I took them and started my routine, which involved checking the houses and projects one by one, overseeing if they were being done properly.

I finished in time to head out a day have a quick lunch at the house.

As soon as I walked in I could smell the beef roasting in the oven, I walked to the kitchen, finding Don sitting at the table where I had left him.

"What's cooking good looking?" I said walking to him and stealing a kiss before he took out his headphones.

I walked to the oven while he followed me.

"I just followed the instructions on this" he motioned me the season package in the countertop. I smiled at him and leaned back to him to give him another kiss.

The only critic I had for him after that meal was the portioning, I ended up eating way too much, and if I didn't have to go back to work I would've probably let the meal drop to my stomach more comfortably.

I was gathering the plates when I decided to tell Don about the trip.

"You won't be needing me for anything, right?"

"Is this about the meeting today?" He leaned on the counter while I simmer the plates before cleaning them.

"Yeah, I have to attend a conference in Arizona"

"Damn" he said, crossing his arms "I knew they'll be sending you away but, I never thought it would be to a different timezone"

"Yeah, that sucks" I twisted my lips and sighed "I wanted to check in with you, see if you'll be okay"

"Why would I not be?"

"Well, for starters, Liz's funeral is tomorrow"

"You don't have to check in with me, if it's for work you know I won't stop you."

"Still, I wanted to be there for you" I finished with the plates and turned to him, feeling his arms around my waist as he pulled me in to his chest.

"You have, and I'll be fine tomorrow" he gave me a kiss, and while he moved his lips on top of mine I felt his hands around my asscheek, I chuckled when I felt him squeeze, but pulled his hands away from me.

"We'll finish this when I come back in a few hours alright?" I gave him one last kiss and walked past him, heading back out.