#posting old art because i don't feel like drawing rn

[michaela-o]

Okay not really sure if i ever mentioned this but i really like writing poetry and i kinda wanted to share this one with you that i wrote about a human and Cybertronians even tho i don't usually share my poetry with anyone cuz im pretty shy about it-

But anyways since i can't really draw rn i'll share my writings with you at least !! Really hope you like it ! 🫶🏻

(P.S. i'm feeling a little bit better after 4 ibuprofens🥹)

Metal and Flesh

In the quiet dawn where the sun shines its first light, a human stands, hands as tender as the morning warm breeze, teaching an old Cybertronian, mighty, as old as the time, the delicate art of gentleness, so long by them forgotten.

A warrior, forged in battles fierce and cold, his hands, instruments of power and might, now guided by her as they tremble and pause, learning to cradle, to nurture, to softly hold.

"Feel the earth" she whispers, her voice a soothing stream "Touch it as if it were a newborn's breath, for in gentleness lies a strength unspoken. A power that does not destroy but heal."

He kneels, immense, beside her fragile form, hands once weapons, now brushing petals lightly, each movement a lesson in restraint and care, his touch soft as a whisper, a promise of peace.

"Here" she shows him, placing a flower in his hand, "See how it bends but does not break? How beauty thrives not through force but grace? Because in gentleness you will find life's true embrace."

He watches, awed, as the flower blooms, yet unharmed by his once destructive grasp. In her teachings, he discovers a new way, a path of calm tenderness, of hope.

Together they tend a garden of dreams. Her guidance a beacon, his spark learning anew, for in her hands she holds the power to transform a warrior into a guardian, gentle and true.

As the sun rises higher, painting the sky gold, They stand, side by side, a silent harmony of spark and soul.

For in her, he finds the essence of life’s gentle kiss,

And in him, she finds the protector of fragile things.

(i'm really nervous about posting this but i hope you like it !!🫶🏻🧡 I really like the concept of humans teaching the old war ridden Cybertronians some peace and gentleness😌)

[nights-at-crystarium]

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

[blackbackedjackal]

Hey, I'm sorry Dog coming back brought out old feelings again (that surprised me too).

I'm kinda baffled about the June and June ripoff thing, and you mentioned in a recent post that Blud admitted to ripping her design intentionally (or I misunderstood this part, not sure). Do you mind elaborating more about that whole situation?

I figured she was planning to come back since she deleted her posts about the situation recently. If she's going to come back she AT MINIMUM needs to apologize to the people she's hurt. But she'll likely just block anyone who tells her the truth of the situation.

So Lacey, bootleg June, was a character Ependa made as a self-insert to make art of with Phoebe, DogBlud's """"trans"""" self-insert OC (that's a whole other can of worms I don't even wanna touch rn).

But basically, and this is my theory knowing the context of the situation, Dog was "interested" in me and June because she equates OCs to personas/fursonas. She assumed I WAS June because that's how she views OCs. I was dating a girl at the time so I was "off-limits" as she would put it, so she convinced Ependa to change Lacey to look like June since they're dating.

As she so eloquently puts it, she "files off the barcodes" of characters and then makes them her own. She already did this with Phoebe as she's just the Grave Robber, Audrey, from Darkest Dungeon as a catgirl (no I'm not kidding). I think because June was getting more known around the werewolf community, she wanted to use her as a stepping stone to gain more popularity. She's obsessed with being known/popular within the community and if she can't convince someone to fall in line with her, she steals from them or tries to choke them out.

She was called out about it by several people after the initial drawing was made and I approached her privately about changing the design. I would have much preferred them to go back to the old design because the way that Lacey is written she's the stereotypical poc guard dog character who protects her uwu precious snowflake Phoebe. We discussed this at length multiple times during the development of the studio and she deflected it every time. I'll have to pull up the screenshots of what had me 100% fed up with her bullshit, but yeah, she's literally just trying to fuck my OC in a roundabout way while also making her a ciswoman because Dog is deeply transphobic.

She always said that the werewolf community is a "small pond" and she obviously was aware of June and June's design prior to Lacey being changed. She tried to play it off like she "didn't notice" as if she hadn't drawn June before or like we hadn't been sharing art with each other for a year prior. Nasty ass.

[factual-fantasy]

25 askskssss

@elegysonnet

I don't know anything about Geno so he's not currently in the AU. But if I gathered enough info maybe I could add him somehow. Like I did with Rosalina! :00

As for the Error Sans thing, I'm actually not personally a fan of all the crazy Sans AUs. Error Sans, Ink Sans, Dream Sans, Nightmare Sans, Fresh Sans, Geno Sans, Horror Sansss,,, uhg, I'm personally not a fan. So none of these world destroying Sans or other similar individuals exist in my Multiverse. So my squad doesn't have to worry about them <XD

My redesign plans for Kinger was just to give him a fluffier coat basically XD And I didn't have anything in mind for Jax..

Also thank you! :DD

@deadspooderman (I blocked out the art, I don't wanna be a reposter!)

I think I've watched a few episodes before but I don't remember them..

Although I can see myself liking that Sensei character. XD What's his name.. Sensei Wu..?

Thank you, I hope the same for you! :DD

As for Jevil, the poor guy's currently still awake at like 2 AM to keep the groups fire going.. :(

GASSPPP.. THEY CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY??? RUNNING TO NETFLIX RN-

@milk-powrit

Right now the main difference that I made up is that Undertale humans are significantly more powerful than Deltarune Humans.

DR Humans and Monsters are the same in terms of strength. For example, Kris and Susie's soul are of the same value and strength. Because they're both Lighteners. They're one in the same.

Meanwhile in Undertale, Humans and Monsters are very different creatures. Determined UT Humans, even determined children have the power to rewrite time. Meanwhile I headcannond that DR humans, even if they had determination.. cannot rewrite time like Frisk can.

All of this is completely made up and doesn't really align with the games, I'm aware- its just some fun XDD

@octonauts16

Becuase I haven't felt like it XD

THANK YOU!!! :DDDD I'M GLAD YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE! :DDD

@beryl-shade

I feel like canon Seam definitely does. But my Seam and Jevil don't have stuffing. The two of them are very much organic creatures with flesh and blood.

Spamton is fleshy too kind'a.. Spamton is a living creature but maybe less fleshy and more... bone..y...?? They're all strange XDD

Thank you! I don't intend on drawing anything new for my Kirby AU.. but who knows, maybe I will someday? Or heck maybe if I can remember to, I could dig around for some of the doodles I already made for it? :0

Also its not a FNAF comic that I'm working on.. but thank you anyway! <XD

He's meant to sound like a pirate, soooo yesn't? <XD Also thank you!

Ah, that's my bad. I've unblocked her. But take note! Part of the reason why I probably blocked that person was also due to a lack of posts. You're on Tumblr man, you gotta reblog stuff!

Ah don't worry, I'm likely to get back around to Octonauts sometime soon :}}

Upon Googling them I think I recognize them! I like the green one XDD

WAIT!! WHAT IF THEY'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT???

@2006-stupid-thatsme

oooo that's a good question.. uhhhhh.... currently? I'd say maybe its the FNAF AU I've got going on :000

By father I assume you mean Natquik? If so, Barnacles was never angry or resentful towards him. My version of Barnacles thought Natquik was dead, because he disappeared many years ago and no one had any idea where he went..

Barnacles was rather grief stricken over Natquik. He wondered for years what happened to his old mentor and friend..

When it turned out he was alive, and had just been stranded in the Antarctic all these years? It was heartbreaking. Barnacles was so happy to see him alive but also so saddened by the situation he had been in for so long.. Barnacles immediately set to have the Gup-I repaired and a solid radio connection between it and the Octopod to be established.

Later on when he formed the Octo-agents. I headcannond that the very first person Barnacles went to recruit was Natquik. Telling him all the benefits of being an Octo-Agent. And he would say things like "If something ever happens to you out here, we have the funds and the means to be out here in less than an hour. If you're ever hurt o-or sick? We can be here. We can help you. You'd never be alone again.."

Natquik took the offer partially because Barnacles would clearly be more at ease if he did. But also to have a secure connection to the outside world? And if that connection is ever lost, a team of capable individuals will immediately go and search for him? It was just too good to pass up.

@djadecutie

When I get back around to the comics it will be just like it was before. A comic probably split into 2-4 parts and uploaded when ever I'm able to finish them. 🤷‍♂️

Also thank you! :DD

@crimson-thinker

What's Foxy's grief stereotype/virus method? I'm not quite sure I understand the question so forgive me if I give the wrong answer.. But I'm thinking that means "what is Foxy's mental situation in the swap AU?" If that's the case, his mental state can be described in 1 sentence. "He refuses to move on."

Partial Swap Foxy was deeply effected by the loss of Freddy and Chica. So much so that he kind'a acts like.. they're still around.?

The other animatronics have cut out anything Freddy/Chica related in their lives. But for Foxy, the act of removing/avoiding everything Freddy/Chica related just makes the grief more painful. To him it feels like he's discarding their memory. Like doing that is saying they didn't matter or shouldn't be remembered. It just makes them feel more dead..

Foxy is the only animatronic that will go back to that old show stage. Sometimes in his darkest times he will talk to the stage. As if Freddy and Chica are still standing on it and can hear him..

When talking to Gregory, he is similar to Freddy. Acting all chipper and like nothing is wrong. Though if Freddy and Chica are mentioned.. he wouldn't avoid the subject like Freddy would. He would talk about them, even if it rips him up from the inside. He would answer all of Gregory's questions about them and tell him stories. Even if it brought him to tears and their memory was almost too painful to bear. Foxy refuses to let go of the past. And despite how painful it is, he keeps dragging the past around with him like a dead weight. Freddy does the same thing but as he drags the past around he refuses to look at it. If.. If that makes sense--

Basically- Freddy and Foxy are both stuck in the past. But Freddy refuses to acknowledge that he is. And Foxy openly acknowledges it, even if it kills him inside..

(Also note: The main obstacle that Foxy would pose to little Vanessa is that Foxy is faster than Bonnie. And as a Glamrock, Foxy is pretty tough. So if he finds out that Bonnie is hiding a child in his stomach hatch? Well.. he might just have the means necessary to catch Bonnie and rip her out.. :x )

For the second question! Partial swap Freddy is more openly miserable than Classic Bonnie, yes.. But he doesn't miss the singing and the spot light. He misses his friends and making kids happy.

Seeing how sad all his friends are.. seeing how messed up Foxy is.. how defeated Bonnie is.. that's what depresses him. That's what makes him cry..

Thank you! I'm so glad you like him! :DDD

I imagined that Freddy just threw the old clothes away. They were really dirty and torn and Gregory didn't care about them.

He probably took some trash out of a bin, put the clothes in and then put the trash on top. Effectively burying the clothes so that no one would see it.

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDDD✨💜💖✨

@ocinstituterep

1: ReBLOGS, are allowed. RePOSTS, are NOT allowed. 👌

2: My Glamrock Freddy is probably pretty depressed :( and his depression has had years to develop and get slowly worse. 7-10 on the depressing scale.

But partial swap Freddy? His life just came crashing down. So he may also be depressed now, but he hasn't had any time to really develop it. Probablyyyy a 4-10?

@dragon-fly34

I'm glad you like my AU! But sorry! I don't take requests and I don't personally support that ship.. <:/

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

[fitgirlfemdom]

hi! I’m just curious about something you mentioned about not being explicitly into everything you post - do you think it’s attracted unwanted attention? would you rather discuss non-kink topics on here as well? I think it would be cool if you incorporated some of the other stuff you’re passionate about (anime, music, etc) 🖤

The real me is not as sexual as this account displays. I've been celibate for half a year and I masturbate maybe once or twice a week for like 20 min. I still write and draw NSFW content, but that's for my main art account that isn't linked here (this isn't for privacy or anything--i just have art moots that probably don't wanna see fat bears eating cake on their timeline 24/7).

90% of the stuff I write/have posted about, I'm into, and I enjoyed writing, especially my longer posts! If I wasn't interested in something, I wouldn't write about it for free. The issue was messages in my DMs, especially near the beginning of this account. It's why I tried enforcing the rule that if you send me face pics, I'd block you, because a lot of the people that messaged me I did not find sexually attractive. Without a face, it's much easier to RP. Also because of the dick pics. Don't get me wrong, some of you guys had very respectable cocks but I can't deny that it made me feel gross to be sent them without my consent.

The worst part was actually enjoying talking to some of you, and then realizing you clearly just used me as a dumping ground for your fetish pics, without any consideration as to who I was. It was like my DMs were just "Send Photos of Your Gut to 19 Year Old Girl Here" without any personality, any interest in who I was. Just a nameless girl who you could imagine your fantasies with. I'd ask about your day or what you were interested in, and I'd get a pic of your gut in an office chair with "whoaaaaa just drank two liters of soda :/ so bloated rn." How do I respond to that? "Good"? 😭

I think the worst DM I got was a guy saying I was "in denial about being a housewife," which I mean, I've dabbled in misogyny kink content before. Bimbofication is literally on my profile. I've never brought up my feminist views or politics, although I would consider myself a feminist, since all people should have equal rights and freedom of expression. I also believe housewives can be feminists. There is nothing on my account about my political views, nor about my career or education, because it's not important to writing porn about feeding dudes cake.

When I brushed him off with a "Haha," he just kept going, paragraphs and paragraphs about how he wanted me to be his trophy wife and clean his shit out of a bucket??? You don't even know me??? And I never responded, but it really just made me realize--just saying I'm into femdom, no matter what it is, is seen as a political transgression to these people. I'm literally into gentle femdom and want a chubby hubby/wife that I can make happy and secure financially. None of my posts are "Women are superior, men should be locked in cages." Most of my posts are "I want a gym guy who enjoys my cooking and jerks off a lot."

I DO use female supremacy tags sometimes because I use dozens of tags, and that's on me. I just type "fem" and click the ones that come up. I've also written works that are VERY misogynistic, like calling myself a fleshlight or literally writing fics about me getting gangbanged. I feel like this guy just saw "femdom" in my username and lost his mind. By tagging my stuff like this, I honestly was asking for trouble to come, so yeah, I think I just got unwanted attention I wasn't ready for.

In regards to talking about others topics, I just figured no one gave a shit, and people probably don't, but I am very passionate about metal music and music history. I have a useless amount of knowledge about various 90s/2000s metal bands and music from that time. If I get asked questions about it, I'll answer, and I DO need to follow more people on this website, but my current answer is: I don't know, maybe. I'll see how I feel.

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

Okay so I really really need someone (anyone really) t know this n I'm feeling brave so. I'm confessin this. Is this weird? I'm so sorry if it is.

Scriv3lloirl is such a talented artist n he makes such funny posts—I'm really scared to talk wit him, or reveal myself, cus I actually dont know how old he is (an I'm a minor and I'm like 50/50 if I have a damn crush on this man.. I'll be fr 😭😭)

None of my friends really like Little Shop as much as I do, n I'm devastated and I really wanna be the Seymour to his Orin (cus he got me into shippin those guys.)

The way he draws Orin is so fckn cool n I love the way he draws Orin's leather jacket n his hooked nose n his super deep set eyes n fat Orin supremacy!!!!!! (I low-key wanna hold his hand (his Orin design) cos I think he would crush me.)

Scriv3lloirl has introduced me t so many ideas n headcanons n I kinda picked up his typin quirk and uggjwhahdmanrhe-

If he sees this, umm............ Hi!!!! I'm your #1 fan. 🦷 (I'm so scared to send this in.)

I cant tell you if it's weird or not but I can at least be weird with you. I feel there is a non-zero chance that every alloromantic LSOH fan on tumblr has a crush on that guy. I don't think it's ever made or said anything that wasn't the coolest thing i'd ever seen. It's art is impeccable. It's character interpretations are absolutely inspired. His OC designs are awesome. When I read his typing quirk I can practically hear the sound of a revving motorcycle. His pfp appears to be the photo for "Dentist!" on the back of the 1982 official off broadway cast album vinyl record. I'm also currently working on retrieving a piece of LSOH fanart that I never posted because tooth encouraged me to. one of tooth's pronouns are "tooth." everything about that is Objectively. Fucking. Awesome.

Everyone go check out @scriv3lloirl 's blog rn. It's a goddamn treat

[iamhereinthebg]

thoughts on the new chapter?

*salt about tbhk incoming* :')))

I already announced it on instagram but my interest in tbhk have dropped drastically since some time and I was gonna give the manga the benefit of the doubt because chap 104 was okay Ig?

Chapter 105 just showed everything I have been not liking about the writing in tbhk in one chapter youhou

let's go on the positive first!

I adore class 1-A I would die for them

The pages in black and white were cool, the art is perfect as always. Maybe seeing an Akane and Hanako team up would be fire af but with Teru here I doubt it so this is a tiny hope I will put in hell with everything else for now.

I love you Kou and Mistuba

Yokoo is rocking this outfit too. I like the fact that the clock being destroyed just stops everything and everyone's time (like a certain character but who has a limit *COUGHS* probably for this reason Ig)

them

Idk if I am strong enough to go on a full explanation on why my interest dropped since some chapters, this didn't start on this one, this one was just the last straw. I will just show the most obvious choices that I don't like ( my opinion btw this is just the feeling I have while reading, take this with a BIG grain of salt)

I've been reading tbhk for 4 years and I am tired of waiting for stuff the author litteraly won't do anything about and just stay in their comfort zone

No repercussions on the mcs for some choices they made, no repercussions on wounds/stuff that happened which should have need time to heal for the characters or for them to grow, giving us always the same team up so no room for real character/relationship development beside the obvious (and with how slow Hanako and Nene have been going honestly making the same characters always interact doesn't help at all apparently L O L), BIG difference of pacing for characters growth, making the story take always the same route with the same characters being kidnapped and the same ones doing the savings, putting characters in an arc they have no reason to be part of so just making them stand in the background like a caricature of themselves, making characters 'mysterious' or forgetting their character development just to use them as some sort of deus ex machina, and the worst of all:

Making Nene just a reason for Hanako to react and nothing else. No character development for her, no reason for her to be in some scenes, this is just sad to watch at this point. Aoi had this problem at the beginning of the manga for Akane mostly for comedic reason and they had growth, seeing they are putting Nene in this position after more than 100 chapters and her being the mc is just awful.

I honestly just want more diversity in the choices they are making in their writing, and the last chapter proves me that either it will come in a long time or it never will.

At least the art is pretty, and the worst part is that I KNOW AidaIro knows how use setup, they know how to write really good stuff and good characters, complex stories, and it's GOOD. So seeing this in the recent chapters just makes me even more tired x'))

Once again, my opinion, but the way Nene and Aoi are treated in the manga makes me wanna explode. AidaIro are capable of writing good female characters (thank you Mei and Sumire for being perfect from start to end), Aoi and Nene had wonderful time too, so idk why all of this is happening rn tbh. It's just sad.

Maybe the brainrot will come back, I still love the characters, but I really need to take a break from the fandom anyways (not gonna expand on this but oh boy how annoying a part of the fandom is, a lot of people are the sweetest but a part makes me wanna explode, I've been more than 3 years here and I think that the most I can take at this point)

ANYWAYS :DDD idk what I will do with this account for now ^^ I will probably still rb some stuff or post old tbhk doodles I never finished :00 Idk what I wanna draw now probably ocs stuff so I won't post them here I think ^^ I hope everyone is alright yay

[basofy]

pinned post just because i dont have one and others do

hi im miguel and im a guy

especifically a bi trans guy from venezuela, i live there, i speak spanish and english

i am 22 years old

i have a total of 11 CATS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i like drawing messy stuff and experiment a lot and somuch of the stuff i draw comes from the heart even the embarrassing stuff. i like drawing silly stuff and a lot of vent art and stupid stuff and gay sex but you dont get to see that

my art tag is #my stuff

sometimes i like to make crafts too like plushies and clay figures but im no proffesional with it, the tag i tend to use is #my plushies . i also have some plushies that ive bought or been gifted and i take them everywhere and post about them ocasionally :)

i ocasionally sell commissions so i guess i'll edit this when i do but rn i'm busy and tired

be nice to me because i overthink a lot i might be mentally ill probably, trying to go to therapy soon but getting appointments is hard ¯\(ツ)/¯

i ALWAYSSSSSSSS read tags !!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!! as long as tumblr notifies me so keep this in mind please

i tend to like media thats colorful and cartoony and stupid and with fucked up people and with messages of love cuz im cheesy

stuff im currently interested on most is the lisa the painful games, kaiba 2008, chainsaw man, oneshot, yume nikki and its fangames, the mother series, undertale/deltarune, but i like other stuff too and sometimes i might reblog or draw for it, you can always ask me if ive drawn art of something

sometimeeeeeeeeeeeees i do requests but if you send one i might draw it 5 months later

i ocasionally have bad tastes in characters and media i do that, also i enjoy overanalyzing

please do keep in mind that there is fanart of both children's stories and adult's stories in this account. would like if you didn't follow if you're under 16.

another disclaimer: i tend to make art of harsh topics sometimes, all of it coming from own personal feelings, and i take it very seriously. also if you see me make fanart of characters who are family/are an adult and a kid/a victim and their abuser, these are not meant to be seen as ship material and i wish nobody sees my art like that.

i don't post alllllllllllll of my art here because managing accounts is tiring but i have a twitter and an insta

i have a silly strawpage you can send me stuff there or look at the million characters and gifs i put in it, this thing is sensory to me

someone asked me the brushes i use so here they are if you want them

also i have a kofi in case you ever feel like donating to me :) i'm always in need of money lol

[fragmentofmemories]

Since you reblogged that post about how it's ok to send you questions & statements 👀 I'll try asking a few!

a) do you draw traditionally ? if yes what's your favourite medium ?

b) do you have a favourite Touhou-related track/song ? or any recommendations ?

c) is there any voice actor you especially like ? (from any country)

d) is there a specific character or media you really like but don't make fancontent of (for whatever reason) ?

Feel free to only answer to the questions that interests you btw~

I feel like most of these answers are going to be boring because I'm somewhat neutral on these (lol), but I'll try anyway--

a) The answer is... Not really! I spent my earliest drawing years (2019-2020) using a sketchbook and whatever stationery I had. Nothing really professional or creative, just me practicing for the first time.

Which is to say I haven't drawn traditionally in a long while. As soon as I got my first and current tablet, I switched fully to Digital.

Although, that's part of the reason why I want to buy a new tablet with a screen (I don't really know what those are called).

It's not traditional, obviously, but I feel like it'd help me improve my drawing skills further. Also I need to switch my old tablet.

Don't ask me for any pre-2021 drawings btw. Besides being very low quality, I just don't feel like talking about them.

---

b) If you haven't listened to the Cafe de Touhou albums before, I'd definitely recommend those! There's 8 of them, each one themed after a different game, but they're all great.

As for official tracks, I can't say I have many favorites, but if I were to pick a few:

This might be a hot take of sorts, but music is probably the aspect that interests me the least about Touhou. By no means I'm saying it's bad, obviously. I'm just saying that, compared to the characters, gameplay, worldbuilding and everything else the series offers, the music never interested me as much.

---

c) VAs are something I haven't payed much attention to, unless it's someone very prominent in the field and you can immediately tell "Oh they hired X again for this character".

I'm guessing Johnny Yong Bosch comes to mind first when it comes to VAs, just because he tends to voice my favorites (lol). He's the current voice of Zero (Mega Man), and he also voiced P4 Hero (Persona 4), and Lelouch vi Britannia (Code Geass, also my favorite performance of his).

Meme answer, but I'd also like to add Carlos Villega for being the Latin American voice for Hisoka in 1999 Hunter X Hunter. I say it's a meme because, for some reason, he was given a French accent in that version and I can't think of him without it as a result.

1999 HxH's Latin American dub didn't age very well, but it's nostalgic to me nonetheless.

---

d)

Since I'm pretty much in a Castlevania mood rn, I have to wonder why haven't I drawn Shanoa yet?

She's one of my favorite protagonists ever (if not my favorite), her character is tragic and incredibly well written, and her design is just plain elegant.

Yet, I never stopped to think "I should draw her next", for some unknown reason. Perhaps in my spare time, while I'm taking a break off ODG, maybe?

Besides her, there are other characters I really like yet never drew before, which is to say Leif and Shanna (Fire Emblem), Kasumi Todoh (Art of Fighting) and Rei Reiho (Devil Summoner)

Lastly there's my non EO/CoH DRPG parties (I.E currently Labyrinth of Zangetsu and Stranger of Sword City). Drawing six characters at once takes a long time...

[ask-andante]

Hi, I've decided to officially end this blog.

It took a lot of time thinking about it (tbh i was even thinking about it before the anon) and discussion with close friends and I think I am done.

This blog was used to help me get through various parts of my life, and it can no longer serve that purpose. It's done its job wonderfully and helped me cope and even make a friend circle after isolating myself for a few years. I never thought I'd ever have an actual friend group, but it's something that was made possible VIA this blog.

It hurts a lot to end it, I won't lie, I'm like actually mourning it rn but I've started to develop a sort of resentment towards the blog and plot askblogs due to Mental Illness and I think I just cannot keep holding onto this blog anymore. So, I decided it's best to let it go before I hate it. I doubt I'll come back to finishing it after posting the plot outline, seeing as it's all out in the open, but you never know.

The doc contains the outline with a header to jump to where this blog left off. I got pretty far in so I feel extra down about tossing in the towel here, but that's just how it is. I've tried many ways to salvage my motivation, lowering art quality being the main one as art is my job now and it's no longer the escape it used to be, but I don't think the workload itself is the issue.

If I move onto future projects, you will likely see me post them on @aibouart , so feel free to check the art blog out and follow if you'd like. I am not abandoning the characters here, I will continue to draw them likely and RP them and whatnot. You can send asks OOC anytime, just know I may not be very active~

Anyways, here's the plot outline. Some things are not included in it despite having been planned because they were either up in the air on their specifics, or were late additions not added in yet (nast stops appearing in the outline some ways into it as they were a new addition to help give Andan another person to have a better dynamic with. They were planned to become friends < 3 )

Thank you for reading and for your patience, as well as everyone's continued support over the years. This blog was great as a form of expression and art, and great to get me socialising. I discovered many things about myself over the course of being here on Tumblr and this blog was one of the starting points~

If you'd like some minor additional content, you can go and read over old memes: @andanteooc

Or the related blog: @andanterelated

The related blog consists of memes I've reblogged tagging relevant characters.

You can feel free to send me asks to talk about the plot outline or anything else. I won't post any spoilers until tomorrow, or I'll just tag them "andante spoilers///" if you were interested in the doc to read at a later date.

Please note it is missing quite a few details as I used to log the combat or speech sections separately before actually putting them in the doc (the og was pasted from a tumblr page). I can answer asks about things that weren't addressed because of its nature, but will not repeat myself if it's been asked haha.

Thank you again. I initially started this blog with a goal in mind and succeeded in it years ago, so I think I can be happy that it went above my original goals.

[stinger-shot]

Yey! Silly vent because I feel like shit!

Read under the cut if you want the juicy ass details

So basically, I gotta let this shit out.. its fucking me up a bit rn.

I met this dude around the start of 2021 on tiktok AND HE WAS SO TALENTED AND FUNNY but he always said he wasn't. Anyway time skip a lil..

We started getting into a few arguments near the middle of 2022. And they where just small disagreements then they gradually got worse and worse every time it happend. And it especially got bad when I made another friend on tiktok who loved doing art related things and drew my old persona back then.

And HE WAS NOT HAVING IT and he said quite alot of bad things to me. Did I stay friends with him? Yes I did. Did I also block the nice guy just trying to be my friend? Yes. I blocked them out of fear of loosing my best friend.

And near the end of 2022 we started dating because things had gotten a better.

Oh how I was so wrong. Everything just went downhill when he left high-school. He always needed attention. He got mad at me because I couldn't set an alarm BECAUSE he was up at 10am and I was up near 1pm. So I forced myself to do so mutch bullshit for him. Like draw him art as an apology and it drained me do badly I could hardly do my own personal art.

I didn't even have personal art at this point. Every time I fixated on something it was what he was fixating on because he'd get mad at me and argue with me if I wasn't.

But everything was calm when it was around April in 2023 and we where finally getting along like an actul couple because of a game called final fantasy. We where obsessed with it for months! And then around June or July I re discovered transformers.

I have never felt as happy in a fandom since 2019! Like holy shit the fandom is so sweet.

But I kept it a secret from him he still doesn't know. Then at some point I made this tumblr to get my stupid little urges out and now look at where I'm at. I haven't been this happy in a LONG while.

And just st the start of 2024 my ex got into an argument with one of his friends and I offered to talk to them. so he agreed and I spoke to them.

Im so fucking glad I did.

Because without their help I'd still be fucking miserable. They gave me the confidence to dump that bitches ass and I honestly feel like a weight has been taken off. Because it honestly felt like a chore every day of my life just talking to him.

And my other friend on discord had helped me out to. Including you silly fuckers on discord/tumblr. If your even reading this... if you are why are you still reading this?

But anyway. I just needed this off my chest. Because it does hurt a little spite how good i feel but I just have an off feeling. I haven't put down everything that happend while I was with my ex and some things might be in the wrong order or time but at least I'm forgetting it?

Just. I love the transformers fandom so mutch mutch really helped me pull through...

Fuck I'm ranting. Uh. Bye!

Also a big thank you to Avery and rex for helping me feel better (rex I've only known you for a little bit but jesus christ I fucking laugh my ass off because of you) jesus I'm sappy as fuck. (and avery your so fucking cool. You helped me alot.) And belyyvolks (I've had alot of fun messing around about ironhide XD) I'm not tagging because I don't want alot of attention on this post.

[charbon-et-eau]

I recently discovered your account through Pixvi. I'm afraid to ask this question, but here goes. I hope not taken the wrong way. I genuinely like your ship art. I gotta wonder how old Brendan is, like, based on your headcanon wise? Forgive me. It's dumb to ask. (If that's the case, I tend to do the same with another Pokemon ship.) If you don't feel comfortable saying it, I completely understand. If you don't want to respond on post, I completely understand; I simply can on DM. Post a chocolate cake picture to let me know.

I've actually already answered this here. I like to hc him as an older teen. I try to reflect that in my art, but I tend to draw Brendan really cute, which probably makes him look younger to most people.

This should go without saying, but I am very much against adults trying to date 16 year olds in real life. However, in fiction, it's fair game. If fictional age gaps involving a teenager make you uncomfortable, that's valid. You're welcome to ignore my headcanons or unfollow/block me.

I just think it's an interesting dynamic to explore in fiction. And I'm actually feeling a bit chatty rn, so for anyone who's interested, I'm gonna expand a little bit on why I find this dynamic interesting under the cut.

For starters, I was a teenager once, and I definitely fantasized about how cool it would be to date someone older. Surely I wasn't the only teenager with fantasies like that, right? Of course, even as a teenager, I knew not to try to make that fantasy a reality.

I was a pretty smart and mature kid, but maybe a little too much. I matured way faster than I probably should have, and as a result, I was always very careful and never took any risks or did any of the stupid things that people usually associate with teens. I was safe (aka boring). I think sometimes I feel like I missed out on the true teenage experience by being too safe. And while that's probably for the best, it's nice to be able to still explore those scenarios through fiction by putting Brendan (or any other fictional character) in Situations.

The other main reason I like making Brendan a teen and sticking him in a relationship with an older man is because it kinda just makes sense given the setting of the source material. In the Pokemon world, it's perfectly normal for kids and teens to leave home and go on potentially dangerous adventures across the region. They can also become gym leaders and champions. I think it makes sense to imagine that kids in the Pokemon world are treated with a lot more respect and agency than in our reality. So it makes sense that the general population in the Pokemon world wouldn't really see any issues with young trainers getting into relationships with older ones. If these young trainers can command a team of up to six incredibly powerful magical creatures in battle, then why would it be weird for them to make out with an older cooltrainer behind the pokemart?

Whether or not this is a good or a bad thing is debatable. My point is that it's interesting to think about what the societal norms surrounding relationships with age gaps would look like in this setting. Also, I think it's funny to imagine Brendan's mom internally cheering "FUCK YEAH!" when she finds out that Brendan is dating the richest man in Hoenn instead of some loser collector or hex maniac that he found on a random route.

I could probably ramble about this more, but I think I've run out of steam for now. Anon, I'm so sorry for rambling, you didn't ask for any of this lol. But thank you for the ask!

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

WIP Questionnaire ±2

I was tagged by @rjcopeseethemald! I haven't done one of these in a while and really enjoyed the questions here, so I decided I'd give it a go for my wip: Wings of Faith!

Original from @illarian-rambling.

If you want to know more about Wings of Faith, check out my post here!

RULES: 1. Answer as few or as many of the following questions as you’d like! 2. In passing the tag along to others, you can add one question of your own, or replace an existing question.

This art is a bit old but it's the last time I've drawn everyone all together haha

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Surprisingly enough, Emmie (a main character, but not the protagonist) is the first part of my wip that I created (See the red girl on the top left). She was the protagonist of the very first book I wrote in fifth grade, and I wanted to pay homage to that work by including her. However, she's changed a LOT since then (even her name!), and the only remaining carry-over is the red streak in her hair.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Intro song: "Run to the Devil" by Dragonwyck or "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Outro song: "It Will Come Back" or "Francesca" by Hozier Instrumental: "Dragonlord Placidusax" from the Elden Ring Soundtrack or "Danse Macabre" by The Oh Hellos

3. Who are your favorite characters you’ve made? Why?

Andrew, my protagonist, is by far my favorite character. Writing from the POV of an incredibly sensitive, incredibly traumatized person (who feels things very deeply), while outwardly projecting a cruel and defensive facade is... *chef's kiss* Otherwise, I'd have to say Emmie. She is a very layered and multifaceted character with an incredibly important role to play in the story, and her kindness is refreshing amid a mostly hardened cast of characters.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Six of Crows fans

Dante's Inferno fans who don't mind me bending the lore a bit

Fellow ex-Catholics

Fans of Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Supernatural fans into the "corrupted angel x man struggling for redemption" dynamic

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Keeping the facts straight. This has been a 10+ year project and sometimes I forget the revisions I've made, and accidentally cut out important details...

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes! Rimfaxe is a wraith, aka a shapeshifting shadow monster that takes the form of the things he's killed and eaten. (See the top left of the art above!) Emmie stole him from the government and now he's basically her kid.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

They mostly walk (or fly on Rimfaxe)! Because Hell has a ceiling, the authorities restrict car transport to government officials ONLY to keep down emissions.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

A giant, chapter-long fight scene that I've been working on for a literal year. It's TORTURE. Can't explain much else because of spoilers haha.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

The main romance is an mlm enemies-to-friends-to-lovers angel x demon pairing! (Angel x demon pairings where they're both assholes>>>>>) Also I feel like there's been a void in lore-focused media dealing with angels and demons, and I'm hoping Wings of Faith will fill that void!

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

That I get it done after 10+ years... and that people will like it :')

11. (Added by rjcopeseethemald) What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this wip?

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Hozier's "Unreal Unearth" album

Adding a Question 12: Is there a part of your wip you wish that you could change, but it's too late to go back now?

I don't want to bother anyone by tagging them directly, so I tag anyone who sees this post and wants to do it! Blanks below.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Who are your favourite characters you’ve made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your wip?

What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this WIP?

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 12 random thoughts

okayyy i'm FINALLY done with all the art i had to do this week so i can focus on writing this post lol. this volume is so much, i don't know if i want to read it again...

i love that vash is ourple on the cover <3

chapter 1:

i like domina, she's cute. tbh i wasn't sure whether she was a plant at first because i assumed they were all blonde...

wait, pause, tell me about this. what are the circumstances of the other plant fusion incidents. were they rebelling against humans, same as knives? or were there other reasons??

vash's black hair is so STRIKING. i'm sad about it but i also kind of love how it looks...

the memory montage has been talked about like a dozen times by now, so idk if i can add anything that hasn't already been said... LOL. there's some deep cuts in here, i don't even remember them all... it really speaks to vash's memory of people. and there are anime-only characters too, which is cool! part of me wants to go through each page and label everyone but... nah.

ik they've taken a bit of a backseat in the latter half of the manga, but i feel like meryl and milly's section should be larger. :( and for that matter, legato takes up a lot of real estate on his page?! that's kind of unexpected... although legato and vash DID have that seven-month-long psychic battle... and i guess legato is on vash's mind rn because of the coins... so i suppose it makes sense...

a few things about the ghg page - first of all, WHO is that on the top right?! is that supposed to be elendira??? is it??? because it's not like vash doesn't know what she looks like, they've met face to face!

secondly... livio. this is his old self. face in shadow, skull mask visible. i don't think this necessarily means vash still views livio like this; that's unlike vash. livio's face is obscured while his mask and long hair are highlighted, both things that he has discarded along with his identity as a gung-ho gun. this is vash remembering the gung-ho guns specifically. it IS a bit sad that this is what livio gets... i suppose drawing him twice might've been redundant, but still...

a bunch of people have already pointed out wolfwood's grave being depicted next to rem and given equal weight/importance (page space) as her, so all i'll say is that scrolling through the pages and expecting to see wolfwood but getting hit with his grave instead was a fucking gut punch that i DID NOT need.

anti-plant missiles... so plant incidents have been common enough that they'd need to be built in the first place, and built into the fleet at that...

so they CAN be broken apart?! i see...

domina is so funny.

the ark just straight up vanishing really had me think for a second "wow! so that's the power of thor's hammer!" but no it just teleported. LOL

knives... oh, knives... he's looking less and less like a person. i'm probably supposed to be horrified, but i'm just sad.

chapter 2:

knives is the first creature in the universe to warp... wow... he's so talented~ i'm proud of him~

domina is so CUTE!!!! it's too bad what happens to her right after this... and it's impressive how likable she becomes in just a few short scenes. it makes her death more effective than it would be otherwise.

nothing to say, i just think they're cute.

knives putting his feelers out to interfere with the earth fleet was brought up in... volume 9, i think... so it's not like this was completely unexpected. (also "feelers" is kinda cute... like a bug...) wow... knives is fighting so smartly~ i'm proud of him~

i speculated a few volumes ago if knives would try to "save" the earth plants, but he just want to kill them... or at least kill the independents. i still feel like i don't have a full picture of what it's like for plants on earth or the relationship between humans and independents. either way, it's unconscionable to knives that independents would work with humans like this...

chapter 3:

perhaps i shouldn't laugh but shooting straight up into the air is such a dumb thing to do. haha get rained on idiots.

brad is stunned at their idiocy, lol.

chronica worrying over domina is sweet. she's not always "cold and calculating"...

i love how this spread is framed, with the black bars on the top and the bottom. it's cool.

and the double meaning of the chapter title. "the interceptor"... knives intercepting the earth fleet and vash intercepting knives's connection to the fleet...

uhhh... i don't have that much to say about this chapter...

chapter 4:

the universe conspired to deal me massive psychic damage by having 'brother' by gerard way start playing on shuffle while i was rereading this bit... i don't NEED this right now!!!!!

NOT THE IMAGE OF THEM AS KIDS

I'M EATING ROOOOOCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!

people have already pointed out knives covering his eyes (and vash covering his own with his sunglasses), it was a fucking punch to the gut the first time i read this chapter and it still is and i am fucking EATING!!!! ROCKS!!!!!!

is that REALLY the reason why you don't want to see your brother's corpse, knives?? is it really???

people have already talked about vash's little gunman speech so i won't say too much about it, except that it's fitting that we started this story with vash being just that - a gunman - we didn't even know about him being a plant - and now vash is determined to end this story as a gunman. well, "end," sort of. there's still 2 volumes left.

also, we're recycling chapter titles again for some reason... we already had a chapter titled "the gunslinger" in volume 6...

chapter 5:

should i call these their "teenage years"? ...i'm writing that in my notes.

i wish i could express my emotions about the plant twins beyond incomprehensible screaming and eating various things (rocks, glass, drywall...) because then i might have more substantial things to say LOL...

the virgin "did you really just shoot me?!" 98 knives vs the chad "if you're going to shoot me, improve your aim" manga knives

y'know, up until now, i never really bought the claim that "tristamp made knives more morally grey," because i was thinking along the lines of "the morality of his actions didn't change, orange just took a magnifying glass to his emotions, so he's easier to sympathize with," but... they COMPLETELY changed the context of knives cutting off vash's arm, huh?! i guess they DID make him more morally grey...

he's ready to go down with knives. if you'll excuse me, i'll be crunching on some more rocks.

chapter 6:

can't help but remember baby knives saying "we can work through a few little differences if we just talk to each other" :')

trying to talk to the plants... yeah... good idea! it's too little too late for knives because EVERYTHING is for him, but... it's a good idea!

okay, so the story of the village. they got kicked out of the city for being "contaminated," so they built their own village and had to resort to stealing from travelers to survive. right... chaining vash up is pretty extreme but i suppose it's indicative of their level of desperation. (especially since vash still looks like a teenager, like, as far as the villagers knew, the person they attacked was just a normal human kid...)

obviously this story doesn't move knives in the slightest, but even with the explanation for the villagers' actions, the bit about "the contaminated humans being kicked out of the city" is a different example of human cruelty that knives could've spat back at vash, lol. like, they were kicked out, and just left out there to die i guess? with no resources or plan to supply them with anything? except for the lone girl who seemed to be bringing canned goods back, but 1. this wasn't a regular thing for her since she hadn't been back in three years, 2. she was literally the only person trying to help, and 3. it was just luck that she wasn't contaminated to begin with - if it weren't for that there would be NO ONE trying to help. not trying to justify knives's worldview or anything but i just think this is interesting because even though now we know and understand the villagers' situation, there's still an undercurrent of human cruelty in this story, and that's something that can't be erased and something that knives invariably clings to to justify his actions.

and his worldview gets even further reinforced in this moment because the military starts shooting at the ark lmao. but then it's vash's friends to the rescue...! the takeaway from all this and the entire ethos of this story as a whole is "humans are complicated," they're not all bad and not all good, vash acknowledges that and tries to see it, and knives does not, blahblahblah it's been said a hundred times...

microorganisms :)

someone in the tag pointed this out already, but the way the earth fleet talks about independent plants is weird. "salvage," "persona," "repair"... that's weird, right? in my last post i said they were giving like, advanced-AI-robot vibes, and this is doing nothing to change that impression. but they're made of flesh and blood...

chapter 7:

knives is wrong about human nature but there sure are a lot of humans in this story who piss me off. fuck you, military guy!!

we all knew that vash was going in to this fight prepared to die, that his plan is to bring knives down with him, but actually seeing him bleeding so much... hurts.

LIVIOOOOO!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!

he's so cute, what the fuck!!!! "i'm mr livio"?!?! oh my god. i'm sobbing. he's so cute.

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. manipulate, mansplain, malewife.

this image of a single man facing down an entire military...!!! he's so cool!!!!!! also he's kinda caked up too

and he just bowls through them like it's nothing!!! i LOVE watching him fight, livio is one of the coolest fighters in this entire story, i'm so glad we get to watch him kick some ass!!!

chapter 8:

they said it's just a projection, but this is what i was imagining the "consciousness" of the merged plants to look like...

no concept of the self except for independents, i suppose. so do all plants think the same? last volume, vash said something about billions of thoughts being "exchanged," so there is SOME mental distinction between individuals, i think...

i wonder what information chronica is gathering from this, exactly. just the essentials, since time is limited? or all of it, every single detail?? knives's past and trauma included??

he's talking as if this is a mercy. i wonder if that's really how he's justifying this to himself.

oh, just this panel by itself is a fun dynamic. i don't actually expect elendira to live to the end (sadly...) but i AM looking forward to seeing these two fight again. interestingly, she doesn't seem surprised that livio is still alive...

this last bit of the chapter feels like all the dominoes falling at once, lol. elendira and livio, chronica and knives... and then BOOM! LEGATO JUMPSCARE!! ...from. seemingly nowhere. where did he come from. also i still don't know what to make of his... iron maiden... giant matryoshka... i don't know what or who this is!! it's driving me nuts!! is it going to be explained?!?!

chapter 9:

it's SO funny that vash says this because I WAS ALSO WONDERING THE SAME THING!!! the previous volume put so much emphasis on the coins that i assumed vash would fight legato FIRST and THEN move on to knives. but he never wanted to fight legato to begin with, so it makes sense that he'd skip right to knives LOL.

knives GRINNING when the earth ship appears and then staring straight down the barrel of their cannon... he's not afraid at all. dare i say this scene is pretty cool. knives and chronica are now on even ground in terms of knowledge about each other, and knives probably knows this, but he's still so confident. and then the cannon fires and he BLOCKS it. i shouldn't be complimenting him so much in this post. but i must give cool credit where cool credit is due. this scene is COOL!!!!

oh, so this IS how his powers worked all along, okay... i was confused. i guess this means his power in tristamp is different... because it's clearly NOT strings... it's just straightforward telekenisis i think... hmmm...

... i'd previously heard about what legato's backstory entails, but actually seeing it...

...

knives isn't even visible in this spread. legato hasn't even seen knives yet. but the framing of legato looking at the vast sky, the light, is evocative enough.

legato being able to even control knives with his strings... well, he was able to (somewhat) control vash, so it makes sense that he could, but i've never really thought about the implications until now. under different circumstances he could've been a massive obstacle to knives, if not outright stopped him.

new hair, new outlook, right?

and okay, sure, it's likely that knives's train of thought was "i could use this power for myself, so i won't kill him," but i want to believe there was something else... legato was used and abused by humans, and knives isn't stupid, he can see that just from looking at the state legato's body is in. so maybe knives recognized there's a kinship between them, even if he'd never admit it... i dunno, it's just, his expression here... it's hard for me to describe, but it's something...

oh, this is making me feel something. this is implying knives gave legato his name, right? that's... oh man. i want to say that it was kind. i don't know if i can call it a bond, but their relationship, whatever it is, is deeper than i imagined.

"...but in that moment, i was reborn." new name, new life, new purpose...

on a lighter note, now i'm thinking about where legato's name actually comes from, and i'm remembering this comment from nightow:

i want to believe knives thought the same thing... LOL. as for "bluesummers," "blue" obviously came from his hair, but "summers"... i want to say maybe it was summer at the time of this flashback, but i'm not actually sure if this planet has seasons...? do they ever say if it does??

oh, legato... my legatito... i should've known he'd be one of my favorite characters the instant he showed up in tristamp voiced by kouki uchiyama LOL. i've laughed at him a lot and made fun of him a lot but i really do genuinely love him.

i fully do not expect him to live to the end... but i'm looking forward to seeing whatever else he does before he goes...