#posting this right after finishing editing it like yeah get this out of my drafts NEOWWWWWW

[mattodore]

📩 Random simblr CAS prompt of the day: Pick your favorite sim couple (if you don’t have a couple, your favorite sim is fine) what would they wear for a date?

theo's pick for what they'd wear when grabbing coffee together in the gap between his lectures

matthias's pick for what they'd wear on a walk after lavishing theo with good food and wine all evening

[ellieswifie]

cuddling w chris while watching a movie in his bed and falling asleep on his chest and he finds it so cute and falls asleep after

cuddling with chris then falling asleep

𐙚 shortish fic!

warnings: boyfriend!chris, slight angst,

authors note: this has been in the drafts for a while sorry about that, but i was just watching ‘a walk to remember’ and thought hey how about i finally get up and start posting some fics.

˗ˋ.*✧·˚ ೃ࿔₊•

CHRIS ISN’T THE SUPER AFFECTIONATE TYPE. sure he’ll want to go out on cute dates here and there, or do cheesy couple things, but if you ask him to couple up on the coach or in his room and watch cheesy romo coms his first response will be no.

you weren’t always annoyed by this though. you knew how scary it is for him to be a relationship considering how intense youtube has been for him, but it always deep down seems to bother you.

it was a late thursday night and chris had just finished filming with his brothers when he noticed you sitting on the couch strolling through instagram with a cheesy movie on, he couldn’t help but smile a little bit. nick had editing to do so he immediately darted to his room, while matt sat on the opposite end of the couch, staring at his phone.

you looked up at chris, smiling before bringing your eyes back to the tv. "how was filming?" you asked, leaning for the blanket to your right, and covering your lower half.

chris groaned, laying his head on top of your from behind the sofa. "you know how hectic filming is." you really do. as his girlfriend you’ve only been in a few videos bc of how creepy and weird the fandom is, but it does get a little intense.

“yeah…" you muttered, shutting of your phone and making room on the couch for chris. "we could watch a movie? something less cheesy."

chris straightened, looking at you then his brother. "umm maybe we could watch it in my room? and it’s your turn to pick a movie."

your eye brows scrunched as you looked at matt. matt looked up from his phone, confused as he looked at you and chris. then it clicked in his head and he immediately stood up from the couch. "oh no! by all means i’m going to my room. sitting in a room with just the two of you is like sitting in a room with-"

"okay thank you matt!" chris said stopping him from finishing his sentence. you giggled as you also stood up from the couch. "but is okay we can just watch in my room. besides i’m already exhausted."

matthew nodded, but still dashed to his bedroom down the hall. in his head he was taking no chances.

you wrapped your blanket around your shoulders, and slipped into your slippers beside you on the couch. it was nearly twelve o’clock so you were already dressed and ready for bed. you had no plans staying the night due to your crazy early classes in the morning, but you just couldn’t help yourself.

chris moved beside wrapping a lazy arm around your shoulders as you guys made your way upstairs.

you sat on his bed, while he made his way towards his dresser, looking for some pjs to toss on. he ended up finding some plaid pajamas and a plain white t-shirt to toss on. he grabbed his laptop from the corner of the room, before settling on the bed beside you.

"so we can watch anything but the notebook. deal?" chris said opening the laptop. you groaned, pushing yourself into his long arms.

"come on you forced me to watch some karate movie a few nights ago."

chris gasped as he remembered last movie night. "karate kid is the movie of the century. you can not dis on that movie ever babe."

your eyes rolled, as your moved your hands to the keyboard. “yeah yeah, whatever." you opened netflix, scrolling through the now trending movies, to then opening the romance movies.you see the past movies your boyfriend had been a baby through, and you simply just giggle to yourself. but when your eyes land on a walk to remember you gasp while chris groans,

"again?" he whines, looking at the title.

“what do you mean again? we’ve never watched this together." you correct, looking at him. he kisses your forehead gently, looking down at you. "but you have and that doesn’t seem fair." he replies.

"alright fine." you say, clicking out the movie preview and continuing to scroll.

chris frowns looking at the change in tone. as much as he hates romance movies he hates upsetting you more. "wait no if you really want to watch it we can."

"no im not going to force you to watch something you don’t want to watch." you say, trying not to sound annoyed or sad.

“no im serious we can watch it. you just have to promise not to fall asleep." he says, smiling at your face slightly light up.

you click back in the movie, rubbing your face against into your boyfriends chest. "no promises. i’m already sleepy." you giggle, while chris rubbed his fingers through your messy hair.

and you were beyond right. twenty minutes in you were passed out. snoring slightly and holding chris like he was a teddy bear. he wasn’t even watching the movie, he was watching you.

the way you were smiling at something in your sleep and slightly drooling seemed so adorable to him. your hair was just scatted across his chest while he kept playing around with your loose strands.

his eyes glanced at his phone in his hand and frowned at how late it was. he turned off the running movie, putting the laptop on his end table, being so careful not to wake you.

you rolled over to your side, so you were completely against chris’ chest. he just couldn’t stop smiling.

he rubbed your cheeks slightly, before kissing your temple good night, drifting asleep with you in his arms moments later here with you.

[0-r-a-y-0]

Overwhelming— Romantic #17

In which: Nick is stressed out with editing and getting closer to going on tour again, Jasper forces him to take a break

This is my oldest draft. I’m so happy I get to finally post it 😭😭 also posted twice in one night 😱😱

Hours after hours, Nick had been staring at his laptop. His headphones plugging into his ears with Melanie Martinez and Doja Cat blasting as he went through and edited videos and created thumbnails; as well as respond to emails. They were about to go on tour again soon, and Nick didn’t want to be editing while sitting on a tour bus. So if he got it all done now, he’d only have to worry about traveling and meeting fans.

But there was a downside to this. He had no time to spend with his boyfriend and brothers since he’s been stuck in his room since he made that decision. Matt and Chris barely see him in the house and he doesn’t remember the last time he talked to Jasper. He felt so stressed and overwhelmed but he didn’t know what to do to relief that stress. And he didn’t know how much longer he could go until he broke.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his phone light up but he doesn’t care to check it, even though he knows who it is. He sighs, turning his music up louder and getting back to work, focusing ten times harder than he did a second ago.

Without Nick being aware, his bedroom door opens and Jasper slips through. He sees him working and can hear the music through his headphones. He sits next to him and taps Nick on the shoulder, causing him to jump and rip of his headphones off.

“Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!” Nick yells, his hand on his chest.

“You’re still editing?” Jasper asked, laying on his side, his arm propping him up.

“Yeah, I think I’m almost done though. I only have like five videos left.” He answers.

“Hun, you need a break. Your brothers told me you haven’t left your room in days.” The curly haired boy stated.

“That’s not even true. I left like…” Nick trails off to check the time. “Five hours ago to get a snack.”

“Baby, that’s not right. You’ve been working your ass off. Take a break.” Jasper says.

“I can’t. Tour is coming up in two weeks and I need to get everything done so I’m not worn out while I’m meeting fans and performing.” The redhead replies.

“Hun, you have two weeks. A little break isn’t going to affect anything. But if you’re nonstop working, you’re mental health is going to be horrible and you’ll be Murder able during tour, and that’s when you’re supposed to have fun.”

“I know I’m supposed to have fun but I’ll be stressed about this until it’s done and—”

“Nope. No more of that bullshit. You’re breaking out right above your nose and you know what that means when you break out there? It means you’re stressed. And I know you’re overwhelmed because there’s no pimple patches on your face.” Jasper claims. “And you look so tired, baby.”

“Honey, I’m fine. It’s nothing to worry about. How about I finish these five videos and then we can destress or whatever you want to do.” Nick suggested.

“No. We’re doing it now. Everything is so overwhelming for you right now and you need a minute to take a breather.” He confirms. “Shut your computer and put it away.”

Nick sighs, but doing what he’s told. “Good. Okay, now let’s get some food.” Jasper says, pulling him out of bed.

They decide to make Mac n cheese, well Jasper makes it, Nick sits down at the table with his head down. He’s tired, mentally and physically, and he is ready to take a break.

Jasper feeds Nick at the table since he started complaint about how his fingers are beginning to hurt from typing and editing for hours on end. Which, Nick thought it was ridiculous for him to get fed but he wasn’t going to complain about it.

After they eat, they go up to Nick’s room again, where they lay down and watch some of his favorite movies.

“You’re tense.” Jasper comments, rubbing Nick’s shoulder.

“I mean, I guess.” The redhead shrugs like it’s nothing.

“Take your shirt off and lay on your stomach.” He says.

“What?” Nick asked.

“Just do it!” Jasper says.

“Fine.” He replied, sitting up and pulling his shirt off and laying down.

Jasper gets on top of him, rubbing and kneading his shoulders. “Are you giving me a massage?” Nick asked, only to be shushed by Jasper.

“Yes, now be quiet and let me do it! It isn’t helpful if you talk.” He claims, twisting his hair before going back to massaging his shoulders.

Jasper goes on to massage his whole body, his shoulders, then the rest of his arms, his neck and then his back. Minus the low groans and whimpers from satisfaction, Nick stayed mostly silent.

After they’re done, Nick throws his shirt back on and lays down in his bed, feeling more refreshed then ever. “When did you learn how to give massages?” He asked.

“My mom used to give me massages all the time. Like twice a month or something.” Jasper replied, laying beside him and playing with his hair.

“That’s cool. Your mom is cool.” Nick yawns, sinking into his pillow. “I’m tired.”

“I bet you are. Go to sleep, darling, I’m right here.” He tells him, rubbing his cheek.

And with night, Nick drifts off, feeling relaxed and no longer stressed.

[laeteria]

It seems I never posted this here, so…

You may, or may have not, stumbled across this video, but yeah… My Tumblr is kinda dead, so I thought it isn't that bad of an idea to drop this one here as well.

There are some notes in the description, so before you go attack me because I haven't added XX role to YY seiyuu, please read the description 👊😔

Some Tumblr exclusive notes under the cut ✨

Why Paradox Live?

Yeah, I know I said I was not posting about Paradox Live anymore and considering the fact that the video was posted in October 2023, it seems pretty recent. However, I have been working on this video for AGES. I think that I will end up in somewhere in 2022(?) starting this video. I was still into Paradox Live and I had dreams to introduce people to it. Too bad that I'm a procrastinator… I mean, I could have chosen IDOLiSH7 as starting point as well, but Paradox Live had a bigger cast :)

My motivation to work on it

Guys, I'm not even kidding. I was planning to use Paradox Live to (hopefully) get some people into Argopro. The project had some difficulties and I wanted to pull people into it, so I did it in a very roundabout way. After all, not a lot of Paradox Live seiyuus are in Argopro like bro what am I even doing!? When starting with the roles of Kajiwara Gakuto (Allen's VA), there were barely any solos for Haruka (his role in Argopro). I remember downloading/ripping the audio of Orthros, because that song was barely introduced. Good old times.

What did I want to achieve with this video?

Guys, I'm just a girl who really likes sharing her interests and I'm a big fan of listening to music of several music projects because I think they are nice and they are different from other music if that makes any sense + you can listen to your favourite seiyuus!!! This was a video for my close friends because I always try to get them to listen to songs or to check out projects. This was merely a tool I used, I guess. My friends love me and I love them. In the end, it wasn't even needed because I post plenty enough on my insta story.

How I made the video

Bros, let me tell you. This was one hell of a dumpster fire of making this video. I'm not kidding. If you think you you can do it, go for it. I will never do it again.

I made the video on my phone. My phone has seen better days, y'all. I first made the template in Ibispaintx and after that I went into YouCut to put the audio over it. I absolutely hated it because you couldn't delete the files if you had the videos in draft (otherwise it will get corrupted which makes sense), but it took a lot of storage. I ended up saving them seperately per character, but the pain I had to go through everytime I made a mistake was painful.

This video is like 22 minutes long, but it took me nearly 2 years to finish it ( •̥ࡇ•̥ )

A little extra for you all <3

I still have the very first version of this video, so I thought, I might as well upload it for others to check out how ewww it kinda is, lmao. It was such a rough draft, but you can't have it all, right? Here is the link (the video is still unlisted, so you won't find it online if you don't have the link).

Another extra, which are the Paradox Live edits (this is a link to my Amino post, so yeah, it's a hell hole ngl) I did 4 years ago. I wanted to use one of them as my thumbnail actually, but I decided not too because people may not be used to that and thus may consider it over the top…

[whimsicalmeerkat]

Messy Draft Monday

@dear-massacre tagged me for this. I’m actually getting ready to edit this fic and hopefully post it soon. I couldn’t pick somewhere to cut this scene, so it’s longer than I’d usually post here, a little over 800 words. I’ve put it past the cut. It’s from “wash off all this blame” which I apparently need to tag as cottagecore Sterek. This scene isn’t likely to change anyone’s mind who’s been calling it that.

Low pressure tags: @mirrorthoughts @thotpuppy @pterawaters @alondradina @mrpinniped

Stiles wakes up with a gasp. His throat is raw in a way that tells him he was screaming. He doesn’t recognize the room he’s in. Is he actually awake? It’s much nicer than the normal places in his nightmares.

There’s a tap at the door. He freezes, not sure he wants to know what’s on the other side. He stares as the knob turns.

“Stiles?”

It’s Derek’s voice—soft and careful.

“Y-yeah?”

Derek opens the door and leans against the doorjamb. He’s looking at Stiles, but not the way Stiles expects to be looked at by someone he just woke up screaming. He looks concerned, but the way he’s watching Stiles is so different than how his dad does, how Scott has on the few occasions he’s been there when Stiles has a nightmare. Derek isn’t looking at him like he’s fragile or broken. Stiles hadn’t even realized just how much of that has been directed his way until he’s sitting here seeing its absence.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?”

Stiles stares, heart slowing and body relaxing as he takes in that surreal question.

“I can’t believe you just offered to make me tea.”

Derek shrugs. “It always helps my throat when I wake up screaming.”

Stiles keeps staring, not sure what to say.

Derek looks at his feet. “Laura used to make it for me, after—“”

He shrugs again, not finishing the sentence. He doesn’t need to. Stiles knows what goes at the end of it. After the fire where his whole family died.

“Tea sounds good,” Stiles offers instead of saying anything more.

Derek looks relieved. He nods, then slips out of the doorway. Stiles runs his hand through his sweat-soaked hair, grimacing at the way the wet strands stick to his fingers. His shirt is covered in sweat, too. He climbs out of bed and goes to grab a dry one. There’s no way he’s getting any more sleep tonight.

When Stiles walks into the kitchen he sees Derek pulling a mug out of the microwave.

“I couldn’t find a kettle,” he says, like Stiles is some sort of tea connoisseur with opinions about how the water is heated.

“It’s fine,” he says. He doesn’t feel like being snarky right now.

Derek just nods and drops a tea bag into the mug. He drops one into another mug. Apparently they’re having tea together. He sets one of those plastic bears fully of honey on the counter in front of Stiles.

“It’ll be good for your throat.”

Derek is being, not hesitant—careful. Not in the way Stiles is used to people being careful with him after a nightmare. No, this is different. More like Derek is trying to protect himself than protect Stiles. He dunks his tea bag and watches Derek throw away the wrappers.

Derek looks at the clock on the stove, then back to Stiles.

“It should be ready. Here.”

He slides a small plate and a spoon over to Stiles, then nudges the honey closer to him. Stiles takes out the tea bag and obediently stirs in the honey. He pushes the little bear back toward Derek, who shakes his head.

“I don’t really like my tea sweet,” he says.

Stiles is confused. It must show on his face, because Derek says, “I got it in case you needed it.”

Right. Because honey is good for your throat if you wake up screaming and Derek isn’t the one who had a nightmare. Stiles takes a sip of his tea so he doesn’t have to answer. It’s not bad. Stiles isn’t really a tea guy and he has no idea what kind this is, but it’s not too bad.

“Thanks,” he says.

Derek just nods. Stiles takes another sip and waits for the inevitable questions about what he was dreaming followed by rote reassurances that it wasn’t his fault. He’s heard them before. He’s learned to just agree. No one listens to him when he tries to tell them they’re wrong.

He forgot who he was sitting with. Derek just rounds the counter and pulls out the stool next to the one Stiles is sitting on. He doesn’t ask any questions or say anything. It’s nice. Stiles gradually relaxes. He’s startled when Derek speaks.

“There’s a path up to the top of the hill across the street,” he says. “The sun will be coming up soon.”

Stiles thinks about it. He normally wouldn’t give a shit about watching the sun rise, but it suits this quiet mood he’s found himself in.

It could still be a trap. Derek might just want to lure him into a sense of security before he pounces and tries to make him talk. Stiles isn’t sure, though. Since they got to the beach house Derek has been really relaxed. Zen, even. Maybe he really did mean it when he said he wouldn’t make Stiles talk. Stiles decides he can risk it.

“Sure,” he says. “That sounds good.”

[morimakesfanart]

Heyya!. I just want u to know that i've just read your latest fic on ao3 NONSTOP for about 4-5 hours last night and i definitely confident to say that your fic is asuperb work of art...

It's rare to see that kind of fic like you've been working for the last few years... A story with additional comic is really such a breath of fresh air to me these days...

Please, don't stop continuing this super duper amazing fic of yours even. I'm trying not to ask nor demand you to update the fic rightaway, but at least i don't want my hopes got away after just found out about this fic of yours in less than 24 hours...

I'm glad you like it so much!! :D

I have no intentions of stopping. I'm making it for me most of all, and it's been super entwined with my growth as a person and writer/artist.

I always write 2-3 chapters at one time, so if one is posted it's because I have the start of the next set drafted. I just posted ch38, and my drafts go up ch41. There's only one more left in the current arc being posted. I need to do some final edits and the art which hopefully won't take more than 2 weeks. However, I won't start the art until I get ch41 more finalized and get ch42 started. Working multiple chapters at once helps balance the flow in and between arcs.

If I ever hit a point where I think I can't work on Sindria's Prophet ever again, I'll post all of the remaining drafts for whatever arc that ends up being without art. I don't see that happening though since this is not only the only story I'm posting right now, it is extremely meaningful for me, and I can't deny that it's where most of my paying members on Patreon are coming from. The help with the groceries has been extremely important. That pressure does more to make sure I don't lose track of time so I actually finish and post, and not a feeling of obligation tho. I am extremely grateful for the support I've gotten thank to this fic :3

On why writing & art:

I can't tell any story without also drawing it. I'm a visual thinker so I always feel like something vital is lost if I have to describe it in words alone. When I was little I wanted to make animations, but I realized when I was 12 that it would take too long, so I started making comics. I posted my first comics online on dA. They are still up if you find the account.

As it turns out, making comics takes much longer than just writing, and I am but one person. And I also eventually figured out that since I often use writing to process my own experiences there are topics that I want to write about that upset or even trigger me if I draw them to the point I will basically drop a story if I have to draw a long scene of them. That what's happening with my og series PBSN on tapas&webtoons if any one's been wondering why it only updates like 1ce a year now. So with this fic I have figured out how to do a combination of writing and comics. Now I can tell a story in a more timely fashion without losing as much of what's going on in my head as possible AND it has the added bonus of not having to draw the topics/emotions that stop me so I can actually keep working on it :D

But yeah, I am going to keep going with Sindria's Prophet until I reach the end :3

[s0ftl3]

And a Happy New Year

A/N: ok so y’all know the newest Joe Bartolozzi ep? Where Schlatt is chugging down schnapps? Yeah well I've been thinking about big guy would act after they’re done filming and it melts my heart thinking about it. So, please enjoy.

It’s been a good fifteen minutes since you heard them end the discord call from the living room, but Schlatt has yet to leave his office. It’s not uncommon for him to spend some time in his office after finishing a podcast recording, but it’s usually followed by the sound of a videogame or video he's editing. There's no sound coming from the room though, so you make your way down the hall to check up on him.

You open the door to find him leaning back in his chair, pretty lashes brushing his cheeks. Your eyes flick to his desk which has a bottle of peppermint schnapps sitting on it, the poor guy must have had a bit going on and had a bit more than he could handle. You gently shake him to wake him up.

“Hey big guy,” His eyes flutter open gently and he looks up at you with a pout on his pretty lips, “aw, sweetheart why don’t we get you to bed?” 

He groans as you help him out of the chair leading him to your shared room, and pulls you down with him as he lays down on the bed. Through your giggles you can hear him start to say something.

“You’re perfect for me y'know that sweetheart?” it’s not unusual for Schlatt to get sentimental when he’s had a bit too much to drink. He’s always clingy and sappy and you couldn’t love him more than you do when he’s sappily letting you know just how much he loves you. “So good t’me, and you’re so pretty, and you’re all mine.” 

“That’s right sweetheart, I'm all yours.” you stroke his hair as you coo at him. Not very long after your confirmation he’s dozing off sure to be whining about his headache in the morning. which is why he’s so thankful to have a pretty girlfriend like you to leave an aspirin and a glass of water out for him.

A/N: I CAN"T BELIEVE I DIDN'T POST THIS????? Maybe i did and just didn't link it in Schlatt's masterlist???? If not umm here's a mini fic that was rotting away in my drafts????

[zeawesomebirdie]

hi !!!! did NOT consider you might like to have the ask again to answer it. if you do:

seeing you post about your old west au is motivating me to at least draft my stuff out for my fic, too!!! so, firstly: good god thank you. secondly, what kind of drafting process do you normally go through? you don't have to answer this but everyone i know is pretty particular about how they write so i'm always curious!!!

Gosh okay I'm still so embarrassed about accidentally posting this before it was ready!! Lesson learned: only work on long posts on desktop (very affectionate). I'm going to copy paste what I had originally said, but there will be added stuff because it wasn't anywhere near ready to go (if you thought it was long before, honey you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Also I still am so proud of you for working on your fic, we are writing buddies now hand in lovable hand I love you thank you for enabling my rambling <33

Buckle in, here we go!

SO! My drafting process is always a moving target. I do what works best for the work in question, and things change depending on my energy and fatigue levels plus my motivation and interest levels

So that said, right now my process usually looks like:

ramble at someone in DMs, copy and paste rambles into a google doc for safekeeping and marinating

zero draft, aka word vomit until a plot forms, block out actions and the occasional dialog, determine chapter and story arcs

first draft, aka Where The Real Writing Happens

optional second draft, but only if the fic is under 10k

line edits

post :)

find a bunch of typos that I somehow missed during line editing, fix those before anyone notices

I will be showing examples because this is a bit hard to explain and Extremely Intense to a lot of people, and yeah that's because it is! I approach writing fanfic the same way I approach writing original fiction, and I find it works best for me as a plotter

If you are metaphorically inclined and familiar with oil painting: I write the way an oil painter paints. First I block in the big shapes, the gestures, and the colours. Then I come back in subsequent drafts and increase the detail until I'm done!

Further information and actual examples of my drafts will be below the cut, because this is gonna be super long and I love talking shop ^.^

And general content warning for non-graphic violence and graphic smut (and shitty early drafts); the examples are from Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson fics

So before we get into the zero draft, I want to point out two things: first, I do full rewrites. This is why writing takes me one million years. I retype each and every word in each and every draft. Second, I'm actually trying something new with the Old West!AU, for reasons I will explain in a moment!

I started doing full rewrites in 2019 after a college writing course, in which we read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; she encourages the reader to embrace the shitty first draft. I ended up really benefiting from a zero draft too, something I first learned about in 2020 from someone on authortube who I no longer remember the name of. The zero draft is essentially a pre-draft, in which one gets the gist of the story out of their system before the prose clogs up the spigot

For me, zero drafts are something that need to be finished as fast as possible in order to get done at all, so due to the sheer length of the Old West!AU, I'm trying out writing little bullet points instead of my full zero drafting. Right now this fic is at 27 chapters, and this is part 1 of 3 total. I will be going back and filling in the actual blocking once I have all the scenes roughly accounted for

Context for the Old West!AU: Bruce is the Bat, a vigilante gunman who only kills when he needs to but still has the fastest draw on this side of the Mississippi. Now that he's taken care of the man who killed his parents, he's returned home to his Uncle Alfred and gone straight, meaning that he's hung up his guns and gone back to homesteading the family land. He adopts Dick and then a year later Jason as well, when small burglaries start happening in town, so he takes the Bat out of retirement and goes to investigate.

My bullet points started out like this:

Open on comparison between Bruce's first gun and the Bat's guns. Introduce Joe Chill, general drunkard. The Bat calls out Chill, shootout, Chill is killed. Chill drew first. Moment of reflection between Bruce's first gunfight at 15 to this one, at 21. Bruce goes home.

And that's the whole entire first chapter!

However, now they look more like:

The Sheriff runs up and shoots at him. The Bat has him disarmed with his own gun barrel to his throat in an instant. It doesn't take the Bat much time to get info out of him either. The burglar is only going after small change, not enough to be noticeable. That rules out the gambler, easily. The Sheriff can't do shit about it, because no one is willing to start an investigation for such small change. The Bat shoves the Sheriff to his knees and is gone before he notices. Alfred is waiting for him when he gets home, and asks. Bruce tries to deny it, but the clothes are in his hands and he can't. So he sighs and says he may have made a promise, but… there might be more to this than there seems, okay? He just… has a bad feeling about it. Alfred can't accept this, what about his sons? Bruce can't take this, and tells him he doesn't have to. Their yelling wakes up Dick and Jason, who stand in the doorway to their bedroom and look on with the door mostly closed.

Eventually both Alfred and Bruce yell each other out, and they sit down for coffee as dawn breaks. Bruce breaks the silence first, saying Alfred is right. Alfred tells him he understands. Bruce decides to let the Bat go for real now.

This is about half of the chapter, and closer to the blocking I normally do in zero drafts

So far this pre-zero draft seems to be working, given I've already finished part 1, but I also can't wait to come back and do the blocking in because that's when the fic really starts to take shape!

Usually though, I just start with a zero draft. I'm going to show you two different fics for the zero draft examples, because they were done differently, and like I said at the beginning, I try to adjust my process based on what is called for by what I'm writing

This first is from the fic I'm writing for @ful-crum. It's a 5+1, in which it is five times Dick fucks Bruce to distract him from discussing his emotions plus one time they actually discuss their emotions and then fuck about it.

Tim and Jason turn up an hour later, and they're incredibly concerned. Dick waves them off. Tim takes him at his word and heads to bed (he has a meeting with Wayne Tech at 8am tomorrow, ugh), but Jason sits down next to the bed and asks Dick what he thinks Bruce is going to say. Dick tells him he's not sure, I mean, it's B, y'know? Jason just nods, and they lapse into silence. Then Steph and Cass come in, and Bruce is most noticeably not present. Cass signs something about bed, and Steph tells Dick that she's worried about Bruce, to which Jason snorts and says they all are, but she insists that Dick talk to him. Dick doesn't even need to take more than a moment to decide that won't be happening. But Steph goes to bed, and it's nearly 04:00 when Jason heads up too, saying he'd love to help Dick lecture Bruce about staying out late but he's got stuff to do tomorrow. Dick asks if he wants to know what stuff, and Jason gives him a smirk and says ask him no questions and he'll tell him no lies. Dick can live with that.

As you can see, this is just general staging directions and vibes

This second example was supposed to be for BruDick Week 2024, but I accidentally got carried away and ended up deciding to write a longfic for it instead. The prompt was "brudick meet their AU!selves," so I did 66!brudick meets the Gotham Rogues Polycule, an AU in which Bruce, Dick, and Clark are in a very elaborate polycule with half of Gotham's villains.

Batman and Robin were on a normal mission in the middle of the day, on the trail of Catwoman, who's been stealing from the Gotham Museum of Art again. One moment they were walking into the museum, the next they were in a weird swirl of energy. Robin clings to Batman and asks what's going on, and Batman tells him steady Robin, we just have to stay calm and see what happens. The energy clears as someone calls out “incoming! Clear the floor!” and they find themselves in what is clearly the Cave, except it's even more high tech than anything they've ever seen. There's three people in suits like theirs standing in front of a massive screen, and Robin identifies the Riddler immediately, even if he doesn't recognise the other two. Before Batman can stop him, he charges the Riddler, who jumps behind the man in black and blue with a laugh. Batman does call out for him to stop, but he ignores him. The man in black and blue meets his every move, almost like he's fighting himself, and he calls out to the man in red and blue “a little help here, Supes?”

The biggest difference here is how drastically these fics changed from their zero draft to the first draft rendition, and that is entirely because of how fleshed out they ended up being (or not being, lol)

When I zero drafted the 5+1, it was with the intention of that specific part simply being a chapter, whereas my original zero draft of the 66! meeting the polycule! fic was actually intended to be a two shot at most. I unfortunately lost control of the plot during the first draft of that one, and it spiraled into a longfic, which will become more clear in a bit!

Basically though, the goal of the zero draft is to know who's where and why at all times! With longfics, there is often a restructuring that happens after the zero draft is written, where I move scenes and sometimes whole chapters to their best locations. This is where I make the most use out of a beta! Pacing is a big struggle for me and it is easier to fix at this stage, before I have all the prose and have become attached to what I've written

Next up is the first draft, and this is a whole new document. This is where I write The Actual Words. This is more or less the final version of the fic, for longfics, give or take a few paragraphs and a shit ton of line edits. Having said that though, I write in fits and bursts, because y'know disabled and stuff. So I write a paragraph or two at a time, and I am constantly adding and subtracting words and lines and sometimes whole paragraphs while I am actively working on a chapter

I'm going to show the first draft versions of both of the above fics, and due to the length these will be extremely excerpted but they should serve as examples regardless. Generally speaking, my zero drafts are about 1/3 of the length of my finished fics, however the 5+1 is currently proving to be an exception so that number may not be super accurate

First, the 5+1:

“You did take care of them, right?” Dick asked, groaning when Jason’s mouth thinned as he looked away. “Is Steph at least still with him?” “Last I heard, they were—” Jason started, cutting himself off when the Cave’s alarm signaled the arrival of newcomers. A moment later, two muddy bikes roared into the garage, leaving dark tracks behind them as they parked haphazardly together on the far side of the garage. With the return of Black Bat and Spoiler, the only empty place on the garage floor now belonged to Batman himself. Dick tried to catch Jason’s eyes as they waited in the med bay for Cass and Steph to strip off their suits and join them, but Jason turned away from him, though he didn’t rise from the bed. Something must have gone down after he’d fallen unconscious, Dick was sure of it. Why else would Bruce have sent everyone else home early on a patrol night? He could already see it in his mind’s eye, Batman doing God-knew-what out in Gotham alone, Bruce coming home with a busted lip that Dick would have to personally clean up before they went to bed, how that lip would scab over and feel under his tongue when he kissed Bruce the next morning after waking up in their bed—Bruce’s bed—on accident. How that scab would stretch when the ghost of a smile caught Bruce by surprise after one of Dick’s terrible puns. “You okay?” Steph called across the Cave as she and Cass walked toward the med bay. “Never been better,” Dick replied, trying not to be put out at Jason’s eye roll. He put up a hand for Cass to inspect when she came up to his bedside, and after she had nodded her satisfaction of his health he smiled. “I’ll be right as rain in no time.”

And the 66! meets polycule! fic:

“You!” Robin shouted, not waiting for Batman to back him up as he charged toward the Riddler. Riddler didn't move—in fact, none of the three moved—then Robin was on him, punching his face hard enough to hear a distinct crack. That startled all three into action, Riddler swearing up a storm before throwing himself behind the blue masked man, who blocked Robin's next hits without hesitation. “Robin!” Batman called from somewhere behind him, but Robin ignored him, focusing his energy on striking past the masked man's defenses to get at Riddler. “I know you're behind this, you– you scum!” Robin snarled in Riddler's direction, placing a perfectly timed jab toward the masked man's left cheek and then feinting to the right. But the man met him easily, as though they were merely sparring. “I'm not who you think I am!” Riddler exclaimed, his hands cupping his face but doing little to staunch the blood streaming from his nose. “Let's slow down for a minute, okay?” the masked man said, his voice maddeningly level as if Robin wasn't trying every trick he knew to get past him. “We can explain.” “Yeah kid, there's a good explanation here, we promise,” Riddler added. Robin growled and spun around the  masked man's reach only to find him once again directly blocking him from Riddler. How in the dickens did he know exactly where Robin was going to strike before Robin himself knew? And why on earth was he protecting the Riddler? “Supes, we could use a hand here,” the masked man said, still obnoxiously calm, once again blocking Robin's fist and this time circling his hand around Robin's wrist to twist his arm behind his back. In a blink, Robin was lifted into the air by his collar, the blue and red suited man holding him at arm's length. Robin continued to struggle for a moment, but finally Batman came into view, frowning up at him. Seeing Batman's disapproval took every bit of wind from Robin's sails, and he deflated instantly. If Batman didn't think he needed to fight, then he probably didn't need to.

So as you can see, I just kinda fill in the details with each draft!

Which is where we come to the optional second draft. I try, I really do try, to do a full second draft of everything I write. I always am glad to have done one, once it's done. The problem is, I really do have very limited energy, and anything longer than a chapter or two just doesn't get finished if I try to give it a full second draft. I've instead been doing really vigorous line edits, which I don't have an examples of because those are done in the same document as the first draft!

Now, you're probably wondering why on earth I gave a smut content warning at the beginning of this post. WELL.

I am calling myself out as a newbie when it comes to the art of smut writing. My 5+1 fic, the one where literally every single part has extremely explicit smut, has the following in the zero draft:

Yes, that is not one, not two, but three "cue smuts." Clearly I was new at this (affectionate)

Shout out to past!me for this in the last part though, because at least it actually has some semblance of blocking even if it is still extremely lacking:

The kissing escalates (as it often does) to smut over the desk (though Dick does try to move the documents out of the way, even if Bruce is growling at him to leave it alone; he doesn't want to be the reason Tim has another caffeine-induced breakdown).

I didn't figure this out until I was actually writing this fic, but it turns out I not only need to block in regular action scenes, I also need to block in the smut, because otherwise I will be sitting there having no fucking clue what to write (very affectionate)

So I now present what a zero draft of smut looks like! This is from a 5+1 in which there are five times Bruce and Dick fuck because of Poison Ivy's sex pollen and it "doesn't mean anything," plus one time they fuck because they actually want to:

Dick asks if they can take off their suits, it's too hot he's too hot, and Bruce says okay, that's a good idea, and internally he's panicking because oh no. Oh no. But the moment the words are out he sees the relief in Dick's face, and realises Dick needs to be told what to do right now, so he tells him clearly to strip, it'll help. Once Dick is fully naked in the other seat, he turns to Bruce and asks if he needs help with his armor. His hand is tentatively, almost shyly stroking his cock, and Bruce is really struggling to not watch. He tells him no, he doesn't, and takes off the chest plate and arm armor, but leaves what's left of his leg armor on. He decides he can safely put his hand under his boxers, but Dick makes a little noise, and when he looks over he can clearly see Dick watching him stroke himself. Oh fuck. He's cumming before he even realises it, his boxers getting wet and sticky and his cock still so maddeningly hard and he strokes himself through it, unable to stop himself from moaning even as he tries to keep himself in a clinical mindset. Dick asks to see him, and Bruce, despite knowing what a bad, horrible idea this is, pulls down his boxers to reveal his cock. Dick shifts his hand on his own cock to mimic what Bruce is doing, and Bruce has the horrible realisation that he doesn't even really know how to jerk himself off. Dear God, hopefully Alfred stays the fuck out of the Cave tonight.

So it's really just more of the same general blocking directions and vibes!

Another thing of note for zero drafts, I try to use as few words as possible to get what I need across. These are only ever intended to be seen by myself and a beta, assuming anyone else besides me even sees them at all, so I use slang and shorthand and leave notes for myself in the text itself

This can be a bit weird for when I show it to betas (or anyone else, for that matter!) because there are some fics where the tone or the vocabulary in the zero is incredibly modern despite the fic being in a historical or pre-modern setting!

And I have yet to actually write the first draft of that one, so I'm going to give you the first draft of the "Cue more smut (but this time against the batmobile 😌)" scene so that you can see the difference between the blocking and an Actual Scene:

Bruce had turned his back to him, bracing himself against the batmobile, and Dick took hold of Bruce's hip to hold him steady when he slid a finger into his hole. A soft moan was all he got in verbal response, but Bruce pushed against Dick's finger despite Dick's best efforts to do this slowly. Chuckling under his breath, Dick slid in a second finger, relishing in the clench of Bruce's muscle as he began working him open. “Easy, B,” he said softly, leaning over him enough to move his hand from Bruce's hip to his cock. Bruce growled and arched into his touch, taking in Dick's fingers completely. “Someone's in a rush tonight, huh?” He didn't get a verbal response, not that he ever did. Bruce rarely spoke while full, relying instead on nonverbal communication to indicate his needs. It hadn't taken long for Dick to become acquainted with his movements back when they started this; after all, fucking was no different from fighting, not for them, not when they had flown side by side across Gotham for more than half of Dick's life. And Dick knew Bruce would always try to get him to rush just a little, knew he'd give in like he always did, wanting to have his cock inside Bruce as soon as physically possible just as much as Bruce did. He wasted no more time, sliding his fingers out and releasing Bruce's cock just long enough to slick up his own. The small whine from Bruce at the loss of contact ought to be ignored, ought not be acknowledged, and Dick knew that, but he couldn't resist leaning over to kiss the small of Bruce's back. Bruce huffed at him, glaring over his shoulder. Dick met his eyes with a grin. Then Dick gripped Bruce's hip again, holding him steady while Bruce leaned back to meet him, and slipped into his tight heat. There was a soft moan from Bruce the moment he bottomed out; Dick leaned forward again to kiss up his spine, keeping his cock buried deep even while Bruce began to rock back into him.

I do think the fic for @ful-crum would be easier if I had proper blocking for the smut, but also I do love a good challenge and you live and you learn, so I'm not super invested in going back and blocking in the smut at this point in time!

And honestly, once the line edits are done that's pretty much it!

I keep a little "posting info" doc for each and every fic I write, to which I add tags as I come to them in writing, so that I don't have to think about what needs to be tagged at the end after I've already forgotten what I've written. That has saved my butt so many times ngl, especially for longfics!

But really what keeps me from posting more often, despite how much I write, is that I fully finish fics before I post them, even if I'm posting them on a weekly or whatever basis. This is mostly because I can't guarantee when I'll need to randomly take several months off of writing, and I don't want to leave anything unfinished, but also because I don't want to actually end up leaving something unfinished for a few years until I cycle back into the fandom

And that's it!! Thanks for tuning in to this little master class :) If I can clarify anything please let me know; I tried to explain everything that I thought needed it but I can never tell what others will need more clarification on!!

And also, thanks again for asking this!! I don't know many people who do full drafts, or even many people who don't completely pants everything they write, and so I'm always excited to discuss my process!! I also am a firm believer in "take what helps and leave the rest," so if you find something in my process that sounds like something you'd like to do, give it a whirl!! I think it's super important to share the different kinds of processes there can be for writing, because everyone really writes so differently, you know?

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed my shitty early drafts (very affectionate)!!

[mellonyheart]

Can I just say that it's almost funny that after I complained about Solo getting a third event that it's... rushed? Every part was so short. I kinda feel bad for the players who were apparently excited about this event. Kinda. Only a little. It's his third event. Give me a break. Two characters haven't even had an event yet!

I have issues with this event. I want to mildly rant about it. I can't guarantee that my anti-Solo bias isn't partly to blame though. So I'm putting it under the cut. For the record, I still don't hate Solomon. I just really don't like him.

I lied. I don't feel bad. Wanna know why? Because people over on X were going "Finally!" And even non Solomon fans were getting all excited about his third fucking event. Third! And my new cat is in heat so like... fuck everything right now.

Anyway.....

My first issue is this.

Solomon, you are a lying liar. If this was my dream there is not enough city and night-scapes and more importantly not nearly enough Mammon. And let's not even get started on all the trauma elements that should be there from dying and getting pushed around through time like a pawn.

Thank you Satan! You are absolutely right! See? Satan agrees with me.

Putting aside my personal feelings though, what the actual fuck? So a couple of the brothers and Solomon were feeling appreciative of MC for MC's habit of doing nice things for their friends and family (but apparently not all of them as they've limited the cast to Lucifer, Asmo, Belphie, Luke and obviously Solomon.) So they show that by... invading MC's dreams? Without permission? Um... okay... yeah no. That's not okay.

I've been aware for a long time that Solmare has a complicated relationship with consent. I didn't even want to read the key/romance version of the event because it feels little icky to me (a monogamous Mammon fan) to read romances with other characters but also because Solomon is one of those characters that isn't very good at consent either. But I ended up seeing it anyway and... damn. How did making the story his dream instead of MC's make it worse? Every time I see Solomon on screen these days I find more reasons to like him less.

More info on the key/romance version in this post I already reblogged.

Bottom line is I guess I didn't like the event much. Still feels better to get it off my chest though.

Edit: Tumblr is being weird for me and posted this before I had a chance to finish it in my drafts. No clue why. Fixed it.

[anemptypuddingcup]

I’m so sorry I didn’t get the second part of my Zoro series out last night.

I had to go to the ER bc my doctor couldn’t wait for me to get a blood transfusion the next day. On top of that they wanted me to go to my local ER (yes the one that left me in the waiting room for three hours last night). You can only imagine how that went for me last night.

I’m not okay after it, but I’m just happy to be out of there finally.

I went in at 11AM yesterday and came out at 3AM THIS MORNING. LIKE THE ER STAFF WERE SLOW, NOT EVEN DOING THEIR JOBS AND IGNORING PATIENTS WHEN THEY NEEDED ASSISTANCE.

Pudding ranting about her visit at the ER and the medical industry in general-⬇️ alongside an update about the fic-

I called for the nurse four times and she came the fourth time and lied about my blood not being delivered when the people were outside to drop it off and WAITED MORE HOURS TO FINALLY GIVE IT TO ME.

The doctors couldn’t wait for me to get this transfusion yet they were the ones who decided to do my labs before I left the clinic yesterday morning and then call me hours later saying that I HAD to go to the ER and get me a transfusion done.

If my blood pressure and shit was so low, why couldn’t they just do it while I was at the clinic since there was an ER RIGHT BESIDE IT instead of making me have to go to the shitty ER in my goddamn town where they don’t even care about their patients.

It really makes me wonder on if these damn doctors give a shit about the people their supposed to be caring for…I know Sickle Cell isn’t very well known like out there in the medical field and isn’t seen as emergencies…that’s what makes it so hard out there for sickle cell patients like me and others.

But in the end, I shouldn’t be complaining because they want me to feel and do better. It’s just that they also have to do better than what they’re doing with their time management and planning.

I should be grateful that they didn’t have to stick me plenty of times this visit like they usually did with me in my past transfusions. I remember when I was around fifteen and they had to stick me five times in each arm because my veins kept running away from them. (I didn’t get a transfusion done that day.)

So yeah,

On top of all that, while I was editing up the draft and getting ready to post it in the hospital, I ended up deleting it by accident…making me have to go back into my notes and makes the edits that I did in the draft that was deleted…

I’m almost done with it and Ima finish it since I’m done w this damn rant.

[duckiemimi]

Mimi how did you get the idea for Honesty Corner? What made you write it was it inspired by something?

omg!! i’ve been meaning to talk about this, so thank u so much for asking!!!

i wrote “honesty corner” as a classic, cheesy rom-comish type of story and initially, i didn’t intend for it to be serious. i was actually very surprised when people actually started reading it bc it was only my second published fic and i was pretty new to posting on ao3. (i was a lil embarrassed too,,,,i wasn’t very confident with my writing at the time.) it started out stream of consciousness (under sleep-med high; i wasn’t doing well when i first started writing it), so my first drafts were horrendous. then i went back and edited a couple times before and after posting each chapter, but i still think i can do better, so i’m gradually rewriting it—no plot changes, just a change in writing style! i love this au so much that i’m dedicating time to making it better!

i actually had the concept down a year before writing. i wasn’t doing the best then, so visualizing the story from start to finish was my way of escapism. at the time, i was reading a lot of college-setting bl manhwas and manhuas, too, like “semantic error” and “here u are,” and i had just graduated college and was unemployed during covid (womp womp). i also failed my professional ethics class at one point, soooo,,,(in my defense, attendance is a stupid formality, like i’m paying for these classes,,,i had to pay again to retake it as the only class in my last semester, fuck capitalism, fuck the system) and i loveee a good college au, so i said, “why not!”

as with any other happy jjk fic, it was written to be a fix-it au where everyone ends up less traumatized than they did in canon :’) if u can’t tell, i’m very, very, veryyy into characterization and character studies, so it started out with me playing with the idea of no-curse au geto and gojo as college students, and i worked my way up from there. i had them meet in a professional ethics class (bc the letter E in my semester grades fucking stung, u know what that shit does to a gpa???) and bc it was inline with their conversation about power and ethics in hidden inventory, so very fun times, very fun times

all of the characterizations in “honesty corner” is my take on their canon ones but in a non-jujutsu setting. their main conflict, as is with canon, is their (annoying) communication skills. i didn’t make toji be the reason of their fight (bc he deserves to be happy here, too), but i made it mahito bc he’s the embodiment of hatred and all things negative in the series, and i thought it worked with geto’s thought process throughout the story. i also had fun humanizing mahito, bc ppl like him exist irl and they’re just as human, even if they’re assholes. (i had a one-shot of “honesty corner” mahito in my drafts, but i’ll have to clean it up first if i ever post it.)

it was fun writing sjw-keyboard-warrior geto (who almost gets it right, but his judgmental tendencies and his “i’m the most correct” mindset keep him from really looking at things the way they are) and nepo baby gojo (who doesn’t give a fuck about any of the -isms, but never acknowledges the absolute privilege he was born into bc he’s so out of touch) and it was fun exploring how they become better people and a better couple in the “honesty corner” sequels. icb they’re almost getting married! if i ever get the last chapter of “and then, home” done, then u’ll see them be married, heh

(i’m kidding it’s in my drafts dw)

but yeah!!

tl:dr

i had too much time on my hands and i love a good college au.

(funfact: i wrote “punishment for a monster” in the middle of writing “honesty corner” and it felt like a plunge into deep, dark waters.)

[n7punk]

The way you post here makes it sound like you post as you write, but you update so often I refuse to believe you don’t have an archive of half completed works you return to and end up finishing. So I guess the question is, what’s your structure for completing a fic? Do you have an idea and execute it entirely, or do you have works that you’ve started writing and then returned to after a few months of inactivity?

(This is basically me just being in awe of your talents and being nosey about how your creative process works)

oh once i start i CANNOT stop or i will not come back. i post everything as i write it, at least when it comes to long projects. i'm usually a chapter or two ahead in my rough drafts from what has been edited and posted, but otherwise yeah i'm writing these in real time. i mean i've been consistently updating for three years except for the few months i took off last year to work on novels instead so idk when i would have built up a backlog lol.

the one exception to this is short fics/one shots. rn i have ten "wips" (outside of CotC) that are all one shots except for two - a 3-4 chapter OotW fic i wrote halfway and... havent come back to but SWEAR i will because i love it, and a multi-chapter AU i wrote the first scene for, realized i wasn't in the headspace for based on the quality it turned out in lmao, and am waiting to come back around to. basically, i can write like... 5k and come back, but i wouldn't do it for longer fics. i started a novel last year, got 25k in, and have not touched it in the year since which is really frustrating because i love those characters.

for CotC specifically, i've just been fucking feral for this idea and written 93k for it just this month. I'm actually writing the 13th fic right now due to that, which is why im posting daily (and occasionally twice a day lol). in general ive just been really into my AUs lately and it has made it easier to write them fast.

it isn't unusual for me to get an au idea and outline a few scenes for it while working on something else, but we're talking like 1-3 and maybe writing a few sentence summary of the rest of the ideas i have for it, and then i can start writing with that once my current project is finished, but those outlines are usually just straight up dialogue with an occasional (crosses arms) or (turns away) thrown in for tone.

[cangrellesteponme]

10, 12,14,17, 19 👁️👁️

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

i’ve had to check my files for this. Sweeter Days (latest fic i posted, touchstarved vn) was in the drafts from april 13th 2023 to the very end of march 2024. nearly a year.

(and i thought it was the longest, but if we count drafts i do plan on finishing, it clearly isn’t. i started writing Running From Our Ends (kuro) on february 3rd 2022. it’s not done yet. there’s also the Breaking Point (d:bh) sequel but let’s not…)

(also, i wrote Staring Contest in like a day. so yeah not all fics are created equal…)

12. a trope you’re really into right now

right now, i think i have brainrot about two tropes: temporary amnesia and one-sided feelings. but that’s mostly for reading, i don’t write that at all (well… arguably Dichotomies (bnha) was one-sided). i don’t write a lot of tropes, but recently a lot of my writing has been about the mind and the body in conflict but also being one and the same?

14. where do you get your inspiration?

depends on what we’re talking about. for original works, my brain is just a little weird and comes up with weird stuff very often. for fanfic, mostly just from aspects of the characters i want to know more about? like how i wrote Staring Contest before we got a more detailed idea of how bard worked. and for poetry, my shower thoughts are very weird!

(as for art, which is not the focus here but who cares, i enjoy mashing concepts together a lot. so when i do more complex pieces, it’s mostly just that i thought of a thing and went “make it kuro!!”)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

well, The Ota Method is a mess. but it’s pretty systemised.

have some kind of weird thought and deem it worthy of being written.

run to pc (or, if we must, notebooks) and write the basics down (sometimes, a few lines)

whenever there’s enough time for that, do a little writing session (with background music ofc) and write as much information and details as possible. most of what i write then isn’t the actual words you’ll see in the final draft. it’s things like “something about fear but no fight-or-flight, sentiment left aimless as the fight has left him already.” (this is an actual quote from the first draft of dadbastian week day 7) that indicate what ideas i have, what metaphors i want to put in, but are simplified enough so i won’t be stuck on finding the right words immediately. usually when that’s done i have a more global idea of how it’s all going to look. (sometimes, a whole passage is often reduced to a sentence, something like: “after it’s done”, which is again a real quote from the same draft)

then, i do a second writing session. sometimes it’s later on the same day, or the next day, or it can be ages later. first draft notes are put in bold so they stand out as unfinished. and then i just write. one draft note can lead to something like “— it is hard to see any fear in him in the complete absence of fight-or-flight, hard to put an adequate name on this aimless and dulled terror, and the calm facade reigning over it all. Sebastian would once have found it fascinating. He is now appalled at the lack of fight left in his young master.” (again, from dadbastian week day 7) the process is repeated as many times as needed to finish the damn thing. i usually write paragraphs about feelings first, along with everything that involves metaphors. dialogues and more descriptive parts are often done last.

when it’s all done, it’s time to proofread (ugh) which first consists in checking that i didn’t forget to write anything, removing some repetitions (and sometimes adding some), making sure transitions make sense, and asking myself “does this actually convey the right thing?” which never leads me anywhere. and then i read it again and check for typos and other mistakes.

then i sigh as i remember i have to write a summary and figure out tags for ao3, i have a heated debate against myself about the rating, i give up and just pick one, do the things, struggle with formatting for a little while, and boom. posted.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

well. i don’t do historical research because i hate history (and i’m very dumb), so that’s 99% of the interesting things out of the way. most of my research is one of three things: i’m trying to understand every single way a word or phrase can be used and understood in english (or just making sure i’m remembering it right, or checking that my vocabulary choices match the typical british standard), i want to have a specific image in mind about a thing i’m writing even if i don’t describe it (this is mostly about fashion. and food, oddly enough), or i’m neck deep into psychology and psychiatry for some obscure reason (so far, for all of my writing, i’ve researched anxiety, bpd, npd, aspd, bipolar but just the diagnosis criteria, ptsd, and cptsd. don’t ask me why, it just comes up!!)

I’d say the most interesting one was… well. it’s a tie between looking up the recipes of a bunch of lemon cakes and aspd.

[bisexualshakespeare]

fic writer asks

I saw these questions by @ficwip and decided to just answer all of them rather than waiting to be asked

30 questions below the cut!

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? Uhh I wrote a lot of smut? 😅 oh I have a fic that is just a sex scene? it was part of a series so the lead in was technically there and also I was about to start my period and was very horny. I loooove a long lead in to the sex. Lightning Strike, and kind of Nymph Butter too, has like a couple horny paragraphs and then sex. I don't know if I would do it again but it wasn't really planned? so I guess we'll see what happens!

How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!) it looks like 25??? wild

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? I think I have a better grasp of how I intuitively write and I learned that it's NOT a thing I need to train myself out of. It's okay if I write non chronologically or in dialogue only for the first draft, because following the way my brain works will lead me into the most energetic path and I can circle back and add description or transitions later. I think I'm better at description than I think I am but it just doesn't come as quickly.

What piece of media inspired you the most? I mean I published 5 Willow fics in less than two months and started several more so I feel like I have to say Willow!

What fandom(s) did you write for this year? Willow, Ted Lasso, Haven, a couple other one off fandom filks

What ship(s) captured your heart? Airk/Elora/Graydon I am such a sucker for ot3s

What character(s) captured your heart? THRAXUS BOORMAN MY LOVE

Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year? Yeah I watched Willow in i think April and enjoyed nothing else as much

What fic meant the most to you to write? Finishing Multivocal was soooooo wow. Like it is The longest thing I've ever finished and it really brought writing back into my daily life as something to look forward too rather than something to feel guilty for not doing? I wrote it for like three years. This year I made some edits and added some scenes that made me feel really good about taking my time. I really wrote the fic I wanted to see (except i mean i would've preferred them to fuck but other than that lol)

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? Eckleberry Pie was so fun. It was really stream of consciousness. I just had no worries about what other people would think cause I literally was like no one is gonna read this but @lowkeyed1 so I can do whatever stupid shit I want 😂

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? I think Apple Candy. I didn't realize how it was going to end until I got there. I kinda sped through the end of the chapter cause it was already going up after the October collection was closed and I wanted to get it done, so I was just kinda awkwardly figuring out what we were gonna leave on and then I wrote that Graydon was loved and I was like 'oh. yeah. that's what this was about!'

What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? All of them were difficult. If we're including fics I didn't finish then probably every ted lasso fic I tried to write and couldn't. I was planning on writing a series from Jamie's perspective, I tried to write a fantasy AU, I tried to write PWP, just so much did not work and then I left the fandom.

What fic was the easiest to write? I think I wrote Lightning Strike in like an hour lol

What were your shortest and longest fics this year? If we're ignoring filks and Multivocal, which started posting last year, then the shortest would be Bridges at 670 words and the longest would be my as yet unposted Cyrano AU at 21K.

Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023 I mean I have to go with Eckleberry Pie and the rest of the Harvest Festival series right?! Or if you don't want a bunch of smut then In The Middle is a filk about yelling at creators, so that's a mood

What were your go-to writing songs? I got really into these "immersive writing session" videos where someone buys the rights to a bunch of instrumental music and puts it together to fit a vibe. I listened a lot to traveling through a medieval fantasy world but it gets darker the longer you write What were your go-to writing snacks? tiny bottles of wine cocktails from the grocery store

What was the hardest fic to title? I guess Lightning Strike? I almost always name fics after phrases I use in the fic and in the Harvest Fest series I wanted them to be named after food cause I knew the last one was going to be called Apple Candy, but Lightning Strike didn't have any time for food cause it was just fuckin so I had to find something that felt like it fit but was different. It was a change in perspective, Elora instead of Graydon, so once I decided I wasn't mad about the title not fitting the theme.

Share your favorite opening line Okay I actually wanna use a filk for this cause I love the first verse of What You Believe: How on earth could I be calm When inside my chest's a ticking bomb? The nicest guys can be deceiving Lift you up, then leave you bleeding It's a goddamn tragedy like Misérables

Share your favorite ending line As the moon rose on the final day of the Harvest Festival, Graydon knew, with the utmost certainty, he was loved.

Share your favorite piece of dialogue From Apple Candy:

“So what am I gonna do while you and Airk are together? Sit in my room twiddling my thumbs?” She scoffed and dropped her hands from his shoulders. “I kinda thought you would do things that I don’t like, like studying your languages or practicing the flute.” “Yeah or sleeping with Boorman.” Elora groaned and rolled her eyes. It was kinda cute though. Knowing she was in love with him made it better. He ran a thumb over her hip. “Hey so, Airk left us your bedroom for a few hours. What do you think he’s doing, knowing what we’re supposed to be doing?” Elora’s eyes narrowed. “He better be twiddling his damn thumbs.”

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene From Multivocal, a scene between Duke and Audrey I added right before posting and was much needed:

“I think it could work." She pressed. "The three of us.” “Oh you’re not even gonna ask me? I could have other offers. I’m a very well liked guy.” “As I can see by the gigantic mess all your friends left.” “Hey I don’t mind a mess,” he held her eyes, “as long as I’m not the only one trying to clean up.” She stepped closer. “You’re not.” Audrey put a hand on his chest. She had almost done the same thing several months ago, when she thought the only option was giving him his family trouble again. But then she’d wrapped her hand around his neck instead and pulled him in for their first kiss since Colorado.

Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

this is so hard. I feel like I forget what I used to struggle with cause I'm so focus on what i'm currently struggling with 😅

I had a really hard time writing Nymph Butter because it was this mix of humor and smut and sincerity and I wanted to have like real moments of connection between Graydon and Elora without it being so serious that it killed the sexy mood. The whole fic was a big balancing act there.

“Can you stop talking about Airk? He has nothing to do with us.” “Of course he does!” She shouted, hitting the ground in frustration. “I thought I loved him, but what if I was just using him to get over you? Like you're using Boorman to get over me.” “First of all, Boorman likes being used. Don't you, pal?” Boorman’s moan came from behind him, along with the sound of his hand sliding with help from the nymph butter.

I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I was very meh when I first posted it, but on a reread I think it holds up. Since my new main ship is an ot3 I'm sure I'll have many more chances to work on this mixture of sex and relationship negotiation.

What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I think I was surprised in Apple Candy that Boorman got a little jealous of Graydon and Elora. Boorman was always supportive of them but when I was writing the morning after, I started thinking in Boorman's voice and I felt that little twinge of sensitivity that he has and how he runs away from his emotions and I was like hmm okay I'll follow that. The overall story was the same but I think it added a little weight to the Graydon/Elora relationship negotiation that came after.

What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.) a combination of GDrive, LibreOffice, OneNote, and a physical notebook.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Probably in August when I first started writing Cryano AU. I hadn't written anything the whole month and then in the last week and a half I wrote like 5k

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

No but I should! I need to think of a good finished project ritual. I think I usually just text a friend and sigh and watch youtube videos and wait to get a comment.

How did you recharge between fics?

I...don't? Should I have a recharge ritual too?

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

🥺 I would like to thank my IRL friend Lee for beta-ing Multivocal for me. I would like to thank lowkeyed for leading the way in the scary world of rare pairs. Thanks to everyone on the Revolorilution server for encouraging my ideas. Everyone at Voiceteam for encouraging my filks, especially klb! And of course I thank everyone who commented and gave a kudos on my fics! I love you all so much! It's been a great year of writing! Thank you 😭

What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I want to write all of the willow season 2 fic ideas. I am manifesting an announcement of the show coming back and I want to make sure I get all my thoughts out before that happens. I'm definitely excited about the possibility and would like to have trust in the writers, BUT I put off all my ted lasso ideas until season 3 and now they're all dead to me so gotta grab my joy while I can!

[multisfabulis]

A Common Rarity

An Icy Reunion (Chapter 1/7)

Word Count: 4378

Hello to all my readers! Yes, I am finally back to post this and I apologize for the long wait!

Believe me when I say I didn't plan on taking almost 4 months to post my first fic of the year but life has a funny way of showing how cruel it can be to me. As I explained on Twitter, my hard drive suddenly died on me way back in February and, due to me not having any backups available, I couldn't begin writing this until after I had my files recovered, which included the outline and rough draft for this fic. I literally finished writing the first chapter's draft the night before everything happened so I was doubly upset! So, after almost a month of settling everything IRL, I was finally able to sit down and do the process of editing and revising the chapter before sending it off to my beta reader and letting them do their magic. It took a while but that's how we got here!

So! This fic is pretty much Ferreth's version of TRFBD was to Ven. He's going to be confronting his abusers and dealing with his self-worth issues in this, with the help of his now-girlfriend Ven! I have been wanting to write this for so long, especially since this is taking place a couple years in the future after MZCR, the first fic to show Verreth being a couple, and I'm finally able to add more to Ferreth's character that isn't just him being a simp or being down over his perceived lack of value (Yes, I know LTL did a similar job to that but this is centered on and will be mostly written in his POV, unlike LTL, so it's not quite the same!). I can only say that I hope you all will enjoy reading this up to the last chapter whenever it is written!

One last thing is that the first chapter was beta'd by my friend rosemaryblues! They did a lot of work in trimming this down and making it flow better so please show them some appreciation! As always, thank you for helping me!

Read on AO3 | Read on DeviantArt | Support me on Ko-fi!

     He could hardly believe it. He never thought he’d be here again, not after what happened seven years ago. A part of him wanted to turn heel and run while another kept him rooted to in place. It was no use. He may as well just accept the truth that was staring him right in the face.

     Ferreth was back “home” again.

     Thesriden seemed to be how he left it that night. The same cobblestone roads covered in snow, the same black lamp posts that dotted the sidewalk on main street, the same charmingly garish shops welcoming passerbys with warm glows from the inside. It was exactly like how he remembered it. Even the many paths that climbed up and around the surrounding mountains had remained as they were. Everything looked to be unchanged from his memories, to the point it was uncanny.

     His heart pounded in his ears. Shivers ran down his spine, but he wasn’t cold in the least. His vision began to fade in and out as the biting chill in the air caused the ache in his arms to flare up in pain. All the thoughts rushing through his head were screaming at him to run; to run and never look back---

     “Ferret? Are you okay?”

     A familiar voice broke through his mind’s cacophony. His eyes turned towards Ven, who appeared to be studying him. Her brows were furrowed in concentration as she stood in front of him, and she reached a gloved hand out to touch his cheek.

     “Are you with me now?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

     Seeing the worry across her face snapped him out of his stupor. He took her hand in his and tried to steady his breathing. He was beginning to understand just a little of how she felt when they arrived in Thal Esari a couple years ago. God, how did she make it look so easy back then?

     “You’re back.” Her gaze softened as the corners of her mouth curled up into a tiny smile. “I’m glad. You had that far-off look in your eyes, the one I usually get when I remember something bad.”

     “Yeah, sorry about that,” he apologized, bringing her fingers up to his lips. He didn’t want to upset her more than he already had. “I’m all right now, though, so don’t worry about me, okay?”

     “...Okay.”

     He needed to be better. He couldn’t have Ven worrying herself sick just because he couldn’t handle being back here. He either had to suck it up or deal with it in a way she wouldn’t be capable of noticing.

     “So,” Ven started with renewed vigor, “now that we’re here, what’s the first order of business?”

     “Hmm…” Despite needing to find a place to stay, he had something else in mind. “Let’s go see my old man. I wanna get this over with sooner rather than later.”

     “All right, then. Lead the way.”

     So they began the long trek up to Ferreth’s childhood home. People stared at them as they walked past, some directed at him but almost all eyes were on Ven. Vlixeoxs were believed by many Dradnach to be fairy tales, scary stories to tell to children in order to spook them into being on their best behavior. She would be the first, and likely only one they’d see in their lifetimes. Her grip on his hand tightened in response to this. It was due to this that he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her close. That sent a message and it was one they all read loud and clear.

     His mind kept replaying the events that led up to them being here today. It was only a month or so ago now Bris had flown down to Aurora Zenith to deliver some serious news to him. His father had fallen ill and it was unclear whether he’d pull through or not. Although apparently he was alive and kicking by the time Bris received word of it, he still thought it was urgent enough to tell Ferreth of it. It was certainly a surprise to hear about what had happened.

     Yet he found the whole situation strange. Why did he care whether his father lived or died? It was that man’s fault that Ferreth grew up to have such low fucking self-esteem. Both his and Kandorinth. So why did he even feel some need to care?

     Maybe raising a little girl of his own was beginning to make him see things differently.

     Whatever the case may be, here he was. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. There were plenty of ways he imagined this trip to be going, all of which ended pretty badly for him. At least Ven was here to help him through this.

     It wasn’t even a question of whether she wanted to come with him or not. The moment he informed her of this, she was asking him when they could leave, and if they should bring Ammy along.

     It was then he understood what she meant. When she had asked him to come with her to Thal Esari for her own quest, she said it was because he gave her the courage she lacked. Those words rang out in his head and he took them to heart. Much like how he was her rock back then, she was his for the now.

     Eventually, after walking several miles up one of the steeper paths, they arrived at their destination; a quaint stone cabin on a little ledge that jutted out the side of the mountain, giving its residents a rather impressive view of Thesriden below. Black smoke billowed out of the chimney atop the roof as dim orange light glowed from within the house. The steps leading up to the front door looked like they had seen better days. This was certainly a sight for sore eyes, though it seemed almost smaller than he’d remembered.

     The stairs creaked beneath their feet as they walked up to the door. With anxiety toiling in his stomach, he rapped his knuckles against the wood one, two, three times before stopping. It didn’t take long for him to pick up on the sound of someone shuffling around inside and that got his mind racing.

     Who was going to be on the other side of the door? Would it be his father or Kandorinth? He could handle his father but if it was his brother? God, he might as well just hightail the hell outta there while he still could.

     “It’ll be okay, Ferreth.” He felt Ven squeeze his hand gently. It was only then he realized he was trembling. “No matter what happens in there, I’ll be by your side, okay? So don’t worry.”

     Cracking a smile for the first time since they entered Thesriden, he held her hand as tightly as he could.

     The door swung open. Behind it was an older man with light brown skin similar to his own, short blond hair streaked with gray, and sharp gray eyes. He had white stubble all along his jaw and mouth, a surprising change to the full beard he usually sported. He wasn’t the only one who changed over the course of seven years. Despite all of this though, Norvicross looked good for a Dradnach in his nineties.

     Their eyes met. He watched his father’s gaze shift from confusion to recognition to finally shock as he realized who was standing right in front of him.

     “F-Ferreth?” His voice sounded older, raspier. “You’re here.”

     “Yeah, I know. It’s been a while.” The words came out stilted as he struggled to find something else to say. “How have you been?”

     Clearing his throat, Norvicross replied stiffly, “Good! Good. Um, what brings you out here? I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

     “Bris told me you got sick a while back, said it was pretty bad. I wanted to come see you so…”

     “Well, I’m glad you decided to come back!” He let out a nervous laugh before falling silent, effectively bringing the conversation to a standstill.

     God, this was painfully awkward. It wasn’t like he was going to be a sparkling conversationalist throughout this meeting, but this was worse than he thought. Maybe he should’ve prepared more for this…

     “Ah, I see you have someone with you!” He felt Ven jump slightly beside him as his father grasped at a new avenue of talk. “What’s your name, miss?”

     “Oh, um, I-I am Venlithea Virthana--” she gave a respectful bow before continuing on, “--though most people just call me Ven. I’m Ferreth’s girlfriend.”

     “Hmm, he sure knows how to pick ‘em. I must say, though, I don’t think I’ve seen an elf quite like you before.”

     “That’s because she’s a, um…Vlixeox.”

     “Oh. Well. Hmm.”

     He didn’t think it was possible for things to be worse than they already were but he was wrong.

     “How about you two come inside? I think we have a lot to talk about.”

     Norvicross stepped aside to let the pair in. They walked into a small (by Dradnach standards anyway) living room that felt even more cramped due to the sheer amount of things lying around everywhere. In front of the lit fireplace was an upholstered emerald coloured sofa, two similar-looking chairs on either side of it. The one on the left seemed to be extremely worn while the other was practically spotless. Above the mantel was a family portrait, depicting a much younger Norvicross. A woman sat beside him, her warm smile highlighted by the fireplace. He and his brother were seated on their laps, their smiles equally as bright.

     Ferreth’s heart ached upon seeing his mother. It had been almost a decade since her death. She had looked so healthy, and so happy back then. Visiting her resting place was another thing he needed to do while he was here. It’d be nice to tell her of everything that’s happened.

     As they all sat down, Norvicross commented to Ven, “You know, in all my years, I never thought I’d see someone like you, much less meet one. Frankly, I didn’t think your kind existed!”

     “You wouldn’t be the first to say something like that,” she remarked with a nervous giggle.

     “Forgive me if I’m asking for too much but would you mind showing me what you can do? I’m quite curious!”

     “Oh, well, uh, o-okay.” She took a deep breath in and held out her hand. Wisps of darkness trailed down her arm before forming something resembling a small ball in her palm. It then began to flicker in and out like smoldering embers in a dying fire. “Is this okay?”

     Taken aback by the display of power, Norvicross leaned in to start inspecting it from every angle. “Now that is an extraordinary power, young lady.” Once Norvicross’ curiosity had been sated, he returned to his seat. “I hope you’ll show me more of that during your stay here.”

     “Oh, I-I-I don’t know if that would be…”

     “Can you just cut the crap already?” interrupted Ferreth, who was this close to leaving the house in a huff. “Ven and I are tired, and if we’re just here to trade fake pleasantries then we might as well go.”

     “...Right.” Norvicross sat up straight and cleared his throat. “I understand you’ve come all this way, and it wouldn’t be right to just merely entertain…” The older Dradnach paused, his eyes sullen. “I know it must have been hard, just coming to face me, and well…--”

     “--Ferreth…I’m sorry.”

     He was…sorry?

     For what?

     For being a shitty father? Not loving him the way he was supposed to?

     Ferreth couldn’t remember the last time his father apologized to him. He couldn’t even remember if he’d ever apologized to him. What was going through his head right now?

     “I realize that many of the things I said and did to you as a child were just, well, completely unacceptable. I should’ve been better,” Norvicross confessed, rubbing the back of his neck.

     After letting what he said sink in, Ferreth asked sardonically, “How long has it taken you to figure that out, huh?”

     “Too long. If I really had to put a time to it, I’d say it was…around the time you left Thesriden. I’m just surprised you came back after everything.”

     “Oh, that makes two of us, believe me.”

     “Listen, Ferreth, I want to make it up to you. I know no amount of groveling or begging will erase the years of pain I put you through. You’re my son and I shouldn’t have treated you like that.” He breathed in deep before continuing on. “I want to do right by you so…would you care to tell me everything you’ve been through on your journey? I want to know what you’ve been up to since you left.”

     He sounded genuine enough. However, Ferreth knew better than to take his father on his word. Sure, he seemed to have acknowledged his wrongdoings and the effect they had on him growing up but did he really mean it? Or was he only doing this to alleviate the guilt he felt? Ferreth didn’t know what to believe.

     But there was only one way to find out.

     “I won’t force you to do that if you’re not interested, though. I’m just---”

     “All right, all right,” Ferreth stopped him from floundering any further. Admittedly, he liked seeing his father struggle with his words. “Pick a time and place, then we’ll talk.”

     “...Thank you, Ferreth, I---”

     “But I’m saying it now, if I find that you really haven’t changed over the past few years, then I’m gone. I’m not putting myself through that shit again.”

     With a slow nod, Norvicross simply said, “I understand.”

     He was drawing the line here. He already spent seventeen years being demeaned, belittled, and mocked by both his father and Kandorinth and he refused to give them any more of his time. Things were going to be different, whether they liked it or not.

     Norvicross showed them to the door and bade them farewell with promises to meet up again sometime in the near future. Then they set off for the next stop, with Ferreth feeling mildly surprised that the reunion went as smoothly as it did.

     The next order of business was checking in at the inn. It was a place that, by virtue of it being high up in the mountains and its clientele being fellow Dradnach, could rent out small cabins to visitors instead of rooms like most other inns. It gave them more privacy and space to work with, along with other little bonuses like extra storage, and a sense of peace and tranquility. Not even Thornewind had something like this during his time living there.

     With night quickly descending upon them, they needed to hurry and get themselves settled in. If he was remembering correctly, the cabins came stocked with pre-packaged meals in case of emergencies. Still, with how long they’d been traveling up till now, they were exhausted. He was almost tempted to go without dinner but---

     “Ah, I see you’ve returned, Ferra.”

     Oh.

     Oh fuck.

     Fuck, fuck, fuck!

     Memories of that night flashed in his mind. A fist flying through the air to strike, snow whipping around him, ice seeping into his veins, his slit eyes. He could never forget the sheer agony he felt as thousands of tiny pinpricks stabbed his arms, right down to the very bone. He begged and pleaded for death to take him then, all in hopes it’d stop the pain.

     Everything blurred together in a haze. He gasped for air as a dying man would, his hands clutching at his chest to relieve himself of the anguish he felt. Ven calling out to him barely registered in his mind, her voice growing more and more distant the louder his heart pounded.

     Cold.

     So cold.

     He had to run.

     He needed to run.

     Why couldn’t he run?

     Why couldn’t he move?!

     But it was too late. A hand clapped his shoulder and he knew it was over.

     Entering his line of sight was a familiar man. Striking blue eyes bore into his, disdain rising beneath with a tight frown. It felt like they were peering straight into Ferreth’s soul.

     God, Kandorinth hadn’t changed one fucking bit.

     “Are you not going to say hi to your brother, Ferra?” Kandorinth asked, his frown twisting into a dubious smirk. “It’s been about seven years, hasn’t it?”

     He tried with all his might to force the words out but they just wouldn’t come to him. It was as if someone had stolen his voice, rendering him speechless.

     “Oh, what’s the matter, wyvern got your tongue?” Kandorinth scoffed, his eyes never once leaving Ferreth’s as he took a step forward. “I gotta say, it’s strange not hearing you prattle on and on about---”

     “Ah, you must be Kandorinth! You know, Ferreth’s told me so much about you since we arrived here!” Ven chimed in, putting herself between the two men.

     As if noticing for the first time she was there, Kandorinth narrowed his gaze at her. “And who on earth are you supposed to be?”

     “I’m Venlithea. I’m Ferreth’s girlfriend,” she replied. She giggled rather uncharacteristically, angling herself to look up at him. “You’ll have to excuse him, we’ve come a long way to get here and he’s feeling a little tired.”

     Her name was stuck in his throat. He wished he could tell her to not engage with him, to not put herself on Kandorinth’s radar. He knew his brother wasn’t above using violence to achieve his goals, and she’d be the perfect target.

     If only he wasn’t so weak, then this wouldn’t be happening!

     “I see…” Kandorinth backed up a little and folded his arms across his chest, his smile only getting wider. “So tell me, Ferra.” He tilted his head towards his brother. “What made you decide to come back home? I thought you had all but abandoned us.”

     “We got news that his father had fallen ill a little while ago and we wanted to come see him. Is that a problem?” Ven tilted her own head to obscure Kandorinth’s vision, causing him to blink in surprise.

     “No…but I didn’t think he cared at all about Father. I mean, what kind of son runs out on his family for seven years, telling them nothing of his whereabouts or why he left them in the first place?”

     “Well, that’s why we’re here. Ferreth feels really bad about leaving you and he wanted to make amends for that. We would’ve come up sooner but he just didn’t know when would be the right time. He’s really sorry and he hopes you’ll forgive him, right, sweetheart?”

     “Is she right, Ferreth? Did you really come back home to make amends with me and Father?”

     “Like I said, he’s really-”

     “I’d suggest you keep quiet while we’re talking, Thea.”

     Anger stirred from within Ferreth. It was one thing for Kandorinth to treat him like crap but he had absolutely no right to even be speaking to Ven. It was this that, despite the terror currently strangling him, had him mutter through gritted teeth,

     “It’s as she said. We’re here to make amends. Nothing more, nothing less.”

     A moment passed before Kandorinth sneered. “It’s nice hearing your voice again, Ferra, especially after we exchanged such harsh words the last time we talked.”

     That was one hell of a way to put it. The ache in his arms flared up as he remembered the events that transpired that night.

     “Well, I think we’ve done enough catching up for now, wouldn’t you say?” With yet another smirk, Kandorinth took a few steps back and turned in the direction from which they came from. “I’ll be seeing you again, Ferra. I look forward to hearing about all your little…exploits. Until then!”

     With that, he turned on his heel and left. They watched him go further and further down the road till he was but a speck in the distance before he disappeared completely. It was then Ferreth dropped to one knee.

     “Fuck…” he panted, “I--I can’t breathe…”

     Ven knelt down in front of him, taking his face into her hands and asking, “Hey, hey, Ferreth, look at me, okay? Look at me, what’s going on? What do you need? Do you need to sit down?”

     A weak nod spurred her into action. After helping him up to his feet, she threw his arm over her shoulders. Finding a set of wooden benches nearby, she sat him down, brushing the hair from his face. “Are you okay now? Do you need anything?”

     “Just…stay with me, please…”

     Nothing more needed to be said between them. She simply took his hands in hers and held them while he tried to steady his breathing. He’d inhale, hold for a few seconds, then exhale and repeat the process. His heart eventually stopped racing and his mind slowly cleared.

     Winding his arms around her, he dropped his head onto Ven’s chest and murmured, “Sorry, I didn’t know it would get that bad.”

     She breathed a sigh of relief before doing the same, carding her fingers through his hair in a soothing gesture. “So long as you’re okay. What happened back there? I’ve never seen you like that before.”

     “Let’s just say the last time me and Kandorinth talked, it didn’t end so well.” He pressed his ear against her chest. Her heart rang steady, comforting, and he let out a small sigh. “It…wasn’t good.”

     “We don’t have to stay here, you know? We could just leave right now and no one would know.”

     “I don’t think that’s going to work. Besides, it took us three weeks to get here and I don’t want the time we spent traveling to be wasted.”

     “But that doesn’t mean you should suffer while we’re up here!” She lifted his face to look at hers. “You may be the strongest person I know but even you have your limits, so please--” she stroked a thumb along his cheek. “--don’t feel like you need to be brave for me, okay?”

     This brought back memories of when they went to Thal Esari for her own journey and how he was saying much the same things she was to her. The quiet resolve in her eyes, the determination she had to see her quest through to the end; they were things he both envied and admired her for. So, as terrified as he was being back here again, he was going to follow her example and face his past head-on.

     He would not let his father and Kandorinth run him out of town again.

     Pulling back, he reached a hand out to cup her cheek. “I know and I’ll be okay. So long as you’re here with me.” He gave her a small smile. “Things are different now and I’m not the same person I was back then. I’m not going to be cowed into running away with my tail between my legs.”

     “What are you going to do then?” she asked insistently. “What if Kandorinth tries to go after you? I don’t want you getting hurt because of him.”

     “Well, I don’t think he’s stupid enough to try anything. He may be an asshole but he’s not dumb. Still, I want you to be careful around him. I know you can take care of yourself and all but---”

     “Oh, if he tries anything, I will kick his ass. He may be a big, scary dragon but I’ve faced scarier things than him. He’s got nothing on me.”

     With this, his face broke into a grin. “Thanks, Ven.”

     He leaned down to kiss her before he drew her into a tight embrace, a gesture she returned by nestling her cheek into his stomach and wrapping her arms around his waist.

     It was moments like these that reminded him of how strong she was, contrary to her petite stature. She may have presented herself as this soft, delicate waif of a girl but he’d seen the tough, firm might she had underneath. She was able to handle both a glaive and heavy gardening equipment with ease, not to mention her prowess and finesse over her ability to control darkness. She was a miniature powerhouse, and that was one of the many things he loved about her.

     Kandorinth wouldn’t do anything to them, that much he knew. But if he was ballsy enough to try, Ferreth was fully confident in Ven’s ability to win. She would kick his ass six ways to Sunday and he’d revel in it.

     That’d definitely be the show of a lifetime.

     “I love you.”

     “Love you too.”

     Soon, they arrived at the inn. With a key in hand, he and Ven made their way over to the cabin they’d be staying in for a few days. The moment they stepped inside, they were greeted by a pleasant, cozy warmth the room seemed to emanate. There was wood paneling on the walls and the floor was made entirely out of a dark hardwood that creaked with each footfall. The living room, dining room, and kitchen were all in the same area, with only a meter or so of empty space dividing them into each of their own separate sections, and an enormous fireplace sat in the back.

     A narrow hallway off to the right led to a small bedroom that had a king-sized bed and an armoire. Next door to it was an equally-sized bathroom, with a large vanity that had two sinks attached to it, a claw-footed tub, and a separate chamber containing a modernized garderobe.

     Ferreth sighed, flopping down backwards on the bed. He didn’t think he’d be back in Thesriden again. On that night, seven years ago, he swore up and down he’d never return, not after all the things his father and brother did to him. Yet here he was, jumping on the meager chance things might’ve changed between them in his absence. Was he being too naive, too foolish in giving them this opportunity to prove that things would be different?

     He didn’t know.

     Whatever the case may be, the next few days were going to be interesting. Very interesting, indeed…

[amysnotdeadyet]

2023 in review

Just the fannish creations, thanks. I don't want to think too hard about how fucking weird and stressful the year was outside of that. XD

I found some old 00Q art hiding on my hard drive and posted it in Feb.

I wrote a short Inception ficlet for @ladyprydian in April to try to jumpstart my muses. It didn't work.

I binge-wrote a whole-ass Sandman fic with (gasp!) fade-to-black porn in it in May.

July brought the Stony games! I was much less prolific than last year, but I managed a few things, starting with 3 little drabbles about perception.

I did a giftfic for the games! It starts in media res and I, being a troll, titled it In Pornia Res because yeah, this one's just pure porn against a background of worldbuilding.

I posted a longstanding WIP that was 100% self-indulgent trash, with Tony and Steve getting Bucky as their new sugar baby and treating him them right. Absolutely just the fluffiest of trash, but 66K of it!

I posted another longstanding WIP that's really pre-slash (I KNOW so weird) but involves catboy Tony, catboy Bucky, and a puppy Steve who's gonna get both (after the fic anyway).

My last little Stony Games fill was 8-bit pixel porn, because of course it was.

Later in August I did the "write what you want to see" thing and banged out (heh) a very kinky Stranger Things fic with Steve/Eddie and a leather bar. Somehow, it's still extremely fluffy.

I drew! Fanart! With pens and shit! Also Steve/Eddie.

And then I made pixel art of them, because why not.

Another Steddie fic, this time a modern AU with 'lost touch' feelings and also banging the rockstar in his hotel room.

And finally, my MTH2021 fic is posting a year late, and will continue on into the new year. It's all done and edited, I just like the daily posting method for getting drip-fed dopamine and also sitting there posting 29 chapters at once is no bueno.

You can find all of this stuff here, so I'm not link-stuffing the post: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtalmnd/works

What's Coming in 2024 (besides my blorbos)

I have a few more Stuckony WIPs waiting in the wings, including my MTH 2022 fic, which I hope to finish in time to actually participate in 2024.

I have at least 1 novel coming out and maybe 2? I didn't publish ANY original fiction last year (gah), but I finished 1 draft (the sequel to Hive) and am plodding along on 2 more (Julian 4 and something new). I am so slow these days, tho, gah. I have no idea how some people put out multiple books a year, year after year.

I've got a few more Eeveeon arts to share, which I always forget to do on Tumbls.

I might actually open commissions next year (for art, I don't enjoy fic commissions).

I'm gonna a Stuckony Valentine thing, so you'll get at least one short fic from me in Feb.

I'm hoping something new will sweep me into its fandomy arms, because while I do love my current blorbos (MCU & Stranger Things), neither one is really doing the full fixation dance in my brain and that's sad. OTOH I'd like to finish my MCU WIPs before that spark fully dies ahahaha haha ha.

As far as art goes, I'm keeping up my Patreon sketch cards and not a ton else, but my new-new meds are helping me Get Shit Done, so I'm really hoping that I can get back into larger-than-a-playing-card artwork, both fannish and non.

I'm still gonna do more of my 8-bit bullshit, though.