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waitmyturtles · 9 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Love of Siam, The Intersectionality of Expectations and Demands, and the Tentacles of Influence On the BL Genre Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, in a long post, I cover the pre-BL film Love of Siam, and its tremendous influence on today's Thai television BL genre.]

As we recover from the first weekend of Only Friends...now for something a little different, ha.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that while I was on the chronological journey through my Old GMMTV Challenge watchlist, that I jacked up my watch schedule to roll back in time to add two pre-television-BL movies in Love of Siam (2007) and My Bromance (2014). My review of My Bromance will drop later this week, but I want to give more attention at the moment to Love of Siam, a seminal film for queer media in Thailand, and a definite influence and harbinger on the development of the future genre of television BL in Thailand after the film's release. Considering our beloved Thai BL auteurs who have been knowingly influenced by LoS: it's a must-add for the list.

Now that I've watched Love of Siam: while I know I'm reviewing it in my 2023 watch schedule out of order, I am tremendously glad that this review will sit on top of the enduring list as the first of the Old GMMTV Challenge syllabus, as I think it contains a number of themes that get explored in the future of television Thai BLs from 2014 on. As well, the film also opens a door into how Thai, pan-Asian, and international audiences of various demographics receive and have received the film over the last 16 years since the film's release.

Most importantly for this piece: I'd like to address Love of Siam in an intersectional analysis, specifically analyzing the film from the queer lens/perspective and the Asian lens/perspective. What I'd like to address about LoS is as follows:

1) A summary of the movie, why Love of Siam was remarkable when it was released, and a quick overview of who has been influenced by it in Thai BL auteur circles, 2) How the ending of the movie (spoiler alert) has been received and understood by specific audiences, 3) An intersectional overview of those potentially differing expectations and opinions, and what that intersection means for how the global television BL fandom watches and understands Thai television BLs today, 4) What we see today, theme-wise, by what works and artists I think were influenced by Love of Siam,

and other floating points as I come to them.

It was the inimitable @bengiyo who recommended -- nay, insisted -- that I watch Love of Siam, not only for the OGMMTVC syllabus, but also as a means of analyzing I Told Sunset About You by way of its story structure and resolution, which I'll get into in a few moments. (I actually had the very great pleasure of joining @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup, along with a few other clowns, to talk about ITSAY on an upcoming The Conversation podcast, in which Love of Siam came up as a topic -- thank you, Ben and NiNi, for the honor! I'll talk more about the conversation that took place in the podcast in a few moments.)

Love of Siam focuses on Mew and Tong, two young schoolboys who were separated by a family tragedy in Tong's family. After Tong's sister disappears and is presumed dead, Tong's father turns to alcoholism, and the family moves away. Tong's mother takes up the mantle of breadwinner and the glue that keeps the rest of the family together. When Mew and Tong reach high-school age, they reconnect in Bangkok's Siam Square mall. I'll try to not give too much more away, because there's a tremendous follow-up to Tong's sister's legacy within the film, but the movie is perhaps best known for its ending, in which Mew and Tong do not get together. The two had spent the film negotiating their attraction to each other in the face of the intervention of Tong's mother, who worked on keeping them apart, and reconnected with the help of a mutual friend in Ying, who originally had a crush on Mew before discovering he was gay. The ending echoes the common endings of the majority of queer media at the time, in which couples did not get together, and/or were forcibly separated, and/or were tragically eliminated. (Brokeback Mountain was released two years earlier in 2005, and André Aciman's original novel, Call Me By Your Name, comes out in the same year as LoS, in 2007.)

For broad cinematic context, Love of Siam was Thailand's entry in the 2009 Academy Awards for Best Foreign Language Film (now called Best International Film). To compare LoS to television BLs on the OGMMTVC list, only the Nadao Bangkok works (I Told Sunset About You, etc.) come at all close to the quality of LoS's filming. The acting, the cinematography, the pacing, and the story structure of this movie were all superb. I enjoyed every minute of it, despite the ending. (We had our first instance of Kob Songsit playing a father named Korn, which -- was it a coincidence that he did the same in KinnPorsche? Especially considering KinnPorsche's happy ending -- it's a high likelihood. More on this in a bit.)

The movie received a fair share of controversy upon its release, as it had been originally marketed as a love story between two heterosexual teen couples. The "surprise," as it were, of finding out that Mew and Tong were the main romantic protagonists, caught Thai audiences by surprise. The filmmakers reported that they were unaware of the modern extent, at that point, of Thailand's common homophobia, but @bengiyo also let me know that at the same time, fans of the film were devastated to not see Mew and Tong get together in the end. Despite the competing controversies, the film was the most successful film in Thailand in 2007.

It's well known that many of our favorite Thai television BL auteurs, like Backaof Noppharnach, Jojo Tichakorn, New Siwaj, and others, watched and were influenced by the film -- they've talked about it previously in interviews in Soonvijarn and other arenas. I haven't seen My Only 12%, but @bengiyo tells me that New Siwaj directly tackles Love of Siam in that series. I'll come back to talk more specific works by these auteurs, and how I think some of these auteurs responded to the influence of Love of Siam in their works, in a bit.

As I mentioned previously: the ending of Love of Siam is controversial. Tong's mother intervened with Mew to tell him to stay away from Tong. She equates Tong being with Mew romantically to "losing her son" (a notion that is repeated in the 2019 film, Dew), which she clearly doesn't want after losing her daughter. Tong's mother is later shown as seeming to accept Tong's sexuality -- but it's not clear if she will ever accept him being in an actual relationship. That's not addressed. Separately, Mew's and Tong's friend, Ying, gives up on her romantic hopes towards Mew to help Tong reconnect with Mew after their brief separation.

Ying helps Tong find a meaningful token of his past with Mew. After gifting him the token, Tong says to Mew:

"I can't be your boyfriend. But it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

And Mew, smiling, says: "Thank you."

The end of the movie shows Ying sobbing heavily among her group of friends, and Mew sitting and crying in a room, saying "thank you" once more.

Jumping ahead a bit: during my participation in The Conversation podcast, the topic came up of whether or not ITSAY was an "apology" for Love of Siam. I think this question is a great way to enter what I briefly want to analyze intersectionally by way of how various audiences can interpret LoS's ending.

In conversation with the wonderful @bengiyo and @so-much-yet-to-learn (thank you both!), I understand that international queer audiences were severely disappointed in LoS's ending, for obvious reason. There was a lot in this movie that seemed to otherwise indicate acceptance of queer relationships and queer love, including by Tong's mother. That a relationship itself could not be confirmed was painful to watch.

When I was watching this film, I knew that the ending wasn't going to be good -- I just didn't know how it would play out exactly. I've had this experience before, where I'm aware that an ending of a thing I'm watching is going to be questionable, and when I get to the actual ending, I'm like -- OHHHH. Wait. I get why this ending is the way it is. The last time I felt like that was when I watched 2gether. In 2G, the ending/lack of intimacy immediately gave me a holistic understanding of why the show performed so well in Asia.

I watch Asian shows first and foremost with an Asian lens -- because I am an Asian. (I'm also a cishet woman.) My expectations of media coming from Asia are different than the expectations of non-Asian audiences. Maybe even as a cishet Asian woman -- my expectations of Asian media might be different from other Asian demographics, like Thai or pan-Asian queer audiences.

Generally speaking, the ending of LoS did not surprise me in the least, especially for being a piece from 2007. When Mew said "thank you," I was like, yep. Of course this was going to be how the movie ended.

Going back to the point I made earlier about queer media, globally, of this moment in 2007 having expected bad endings -- we come to an intersectional interpretive crossroads for Love of Siam's ending. Queer audiences were disappointed to be let down. I'm going to guess that the majority of Asian audiences, like myself, had a less surprised reaction (although again, to @bengiyo's point, it seems like some Thai fans protested the ending).

Non-happy, open-ended, and/or "bad" endings proliferate more in Asian media than in Western media. I've written about this before in a Big Meta on pain and suffering in Asian dramas. As an Asian consumer of Asian media, I've been conditioned all of life to not expect for the best of the characters I'm watching. Many of the Indian movies from the 1940s, '50s, and '60s that my parents showed me in my childhood had sad or politically-driven endings. Love being yanked right away for the sake of a "moral" or "ethical" lesson -- I'm conditioned to expect it. Most memorably for me, when I was a young lass, my parents showed me and my siblings Chemmeen, a 1965 film about a married woman nursing a long-lived lost-love with a man outside of her marriage. They had been separated all of their lives for various social status reasons. At the end of the film, when they finally embraced, they are wiped out by a storm. After the "WTF, mom and dad?!" outbursts from me and my siblings, my parents simply said -- this is the moral of a story that was important when we were growing up. You don't fall in love with someone you are not supposed to fall in love with. (Probably the saddest ending I've ever experienced in Asian media is Yoshimura Akira's Shipwrecks. I recommend it highly, but it's a bruiser.) (And MANY THANKS to my dear friend and fellow desi-homey, @neuroticbookworm, for tracking down Chemmeen based only on my hazy childhood memories!)

I've talked at length with @neuroticbookworm about our instinctual expectations of Asian media and when Asian media either toes the line of predictability (sad endings) or when it pushes the paradigm to, for us, new results (happy endings). (And this is in spite of Bollywood, which of course often has happy endings, but even Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, one of the biggest Indian movies of all time, was laced with sadness.)

LoS did something different than the media I grew up with, which I appreciated in the film. It was subtle, but as @bengiyo noted to me -- it was there. A whiff of acceptance was in the movie. This was the Thai film industry's way of beginning to play around with queer acceptance. I personally think that while the ending statements of "thank you" were stark, they did not indicate anything by way of emotional conclusion for Mew. When I saw Mew crying during his last "thank you," and Ying bawling at the end of the movie -- I took from that their acceptance of the devastation of a socially and culturally-based decision that needed to be made by Tong and his family.

Mew and Tong could acknowledge their love to each other. But for 2007 Thai cinema, they could not go further than that. To flirt with the idea that a Thai family would, in fiction, accept a gay relationship, was likely too progressive. Censors, the government, even Thai audiences, all may have balked.

The intersectional crossroads of this decision are important for me to root myself in. On the one hand, there's the disappointment of Thai, pan-Asian, and international queer audiences that Mew and Tong could not come together.

(I want to note that specifically for Western/non-Asian audiences of all demographics, there is a reality that a DEMAND that Asian filmmakers create happy endings — like Mew and Tong coming together — might be coming from a colonialist point of view, one that may ignore or not consider common Asian media practices and cultures. I unfortunately see this often in shipper culture emanating from the West, and I'm heartened that some Thai content makers are beginning to call international fans out on it. I note down below that market expectations of these endings have certainly changed in today's age, but checking privileges upon demanding something specific of Asian content is something that is always worth doing.)

On the other hand, there are Thai and pan-Asian audiences that interpret Mew and Tong not coming together as a matter of timing (the market not being ready for a confirmed queer relationship on screen), and as well, a matter of expectation that what we'd HOPE for -- Mew and Tong being together -- could AND would not happen, because conversationally, that kind of happiness would be culturally and socially impossible both in art and in real life. For instance, for Mew and Tong to negotiate their relationship with their respective families, on screen, in 2007? Talking to their parents about how they could get together? Damn. I can't.... for that time period, I cannot imagine Asian media, Thai or otherwise, going there. To involve families talking about acceptance -- I don't believe the market, Asian-based audiences, and even international Asian-diaspora audiences being ready for that. (And that's not to say that people of my generation wouldn't have welcomed it. But, for instance -- my parents' generation would have been in protest for movies depicting that kind of conflict, resolution, and outcome playing out in any sort of positive way.)

Remember, again, this is 2007. Let's jump WAY ahead for a second -- to the now, when we can have a show like My School President in 2022. A show, like LoS, that depicts two high school boys navigating attraction and love. A show that actually features a high school band (Mew being a lead singer in a band is a main plot point of LoS). And a show that includes young men falling in love and navigating their families. And Gun and Tinn end up together.

How far we've come from 2007 to now. As I noted above, the expectations of audiences outside of queer circles among Asian and international audiences for positive endings have changed drastically. I haven't even watched MSP yet, but imagine if Gun and Tinn DIDN'T get together. Think about it for a moment. Even as someone who hasn't watched the show yet -- even I know how crazy that sounds, from what we've been habituated to expect out of Thai television BLs, since the rise of the genre from Love Sick in 2014 -- a full seven years after the release of LoS. Thai, pan-Asian, and international audiences of all demographics would have been up in arms.

We know now -- again, seven years after the release of LoS -- how seminal Love Sick was for Thai television BLs, in including the Phun x Noh storyline in the context of an ensemble drama. And now, I feel like I have even more context for how UTTERLY seminal the ending of Love Sick was -- for Phun and Noh to consciously decide to BE TOGETHER, and to end the show that way, in the face of the line of previous expectations that LoS had originally had to toe. It fills my heart that so much progress could have been made in such a short time. Seven years doesn't seem short. But this is where I often drop a comparative point -- that it took 50 years for gay marriage to be legalized in America. Change sometimes seems long, but in hindsight -- change can also happen fast in context.

I think the intersectional conclusion to this is that Thai filmmakers didn’t give up in pushing to experiment with positive endings in a genre — queer media — that didn’t commonly have them. By having Phun and Noh confirm their relationship in Love Sick; by having TeeFuse and FrameBook CELEBRATE their relationships in the early BL series, Make It Right/MIR 2 — these shows began to change an expectedly doomed paradigm of sadness and heartbreak. And — AMAZINGLY! — these early shows that took such risks found accepting audiences. And the market has since responded.

Now — with these shows also came the rise of toxic shipper culture and continued homophobia of actors who are actually out and gay. That’s the gray side to all of this. But Thai BL auteurs then and now still play in this sandbox. As akin to the legislation of gay marriage in America, the progress of LGBTQ+ acceptance in Thai media and Thai society is rocky. (Remember this: Barack Obama did not outright support gay marriage when he first ran for office. He was already president when he permanently changed his public tune.) But that road is continually being paved as audiences in Thailand and globally grow ever more accepting of equal rights for all. While queer audiences celebrate this with bells on — I also am beyond thrilled that Asian audiences can take away learnings about LGBTQ+ equality, especially in countries where homosexuality is banned (Malaysia), where same-sex marriage is legal (Taiwan), and in everywhere in between, where there may be outward social practices of acceptance and internal practices of continued familial or even social homophobia. The general consistency of moving the dial forward on Thai BL media showing equality is good for ALL audiences, no matter how you cut it.

I want to take a moment to talk about the clear and enduring influence that LoS had had on present-day Thai BLs. Like I said earlier, many of our favorite Thai BL auteurs have stated that they were influenced by LoS, and I want to just do a little nerdy comparative analysis out of admiration for those creators that I simp on.

As I wrote previously, I thought LoS was brilliantly written and filmed -- it was a gorgeous movie, even at a 2.5-hour run time. LoS was rooted in a few major themes (but there are more within the film) that I see cropping up in present-day Thai BLs.

The first is the use of religion and spirituality as a means of indicating cultural mores around queer acceptance. Tong's family is Catholic. Catholic imagery peppers the film -- most notably for me, towards the end of the movie, when Tong flops on his bed with a huge poster of the cross pasted on the wall above him. Like I wrote earlier, Tong's mother has said to Mew -- if you two get together, I will lose my son. Tong being in a queer relationship is clearly against the family's Catholic practices -- the cross hovers in Tong's most intimate space.

On the flip side, Mew's family is Buddhist, and clearly demonstrated as so. I would also argue that Tong's Catholic family benefits from Buddhist beliefs, in a reincarnation plot that includes Tong's sister. As we know from the many Thai BLs that incorporate depictions of Buddhist practices -- Buddhism does not generally speak to a condemnation of the LGBTQ+ community, although local expressions and practices may differ. He's Coming To Me, Until We Meet Again, and Big Dragon are three shows that, to me, include Buddhist frameworks most distinctly, but of course -- our beloved BL guys are going to temples all the time and making merit. Even Gay OK Bangkok has multiple temple scenes -- and that's an overtly queer, non-BL drama. A temple is often a common locale that we see our beloved queer couples able to be together safely, outside the privacy of a home.

The second theme of note emanating out of LoS is filial piety. When Tong says to Mew, "I can't be your boyfriend," part of what he's saying is -- I can't do this to my family. Filial piety is SUCH a presence in many BLs -- to me, most notably in I Told Sunset About You, as I reflect on Teh's hugely emotional reaction in giving up his university admission for Oh-aew, and the fall-out vis à vis his mother that results from that decision (and Oh-aew has his own filial piety storyline as well). (I want to note that the ITSAY links include a phenomenal reblog from @bengiyo that talks in part about how ITSAY speaks to LoS -- a must-read.) Part of the presumed danger of coming out in Thai BLs, to me, stems from not only fearing rejection of one's own sexuality by a character's family -- but in also disappointing one's family in the public and private Asian family construct, especially considering that we're witnessing mostly young men coming out, who carry their own load of gender-based expectations from their families.

This harkens back for me Thun's coming-out conversation with his mother in episode six of He's Coming To Me. In episode five, Thun asks, famously, on a rainy rooftop -- "I have this feeling, but I don't know what to call it" (which, I think, is an Aof callback to Tong asking Ying in LoS -- "what am I, Ying?"). In episode six, Thun, a young man who has already lost his father, clearly sits with concern that he might lose his mother. And, of course, Thun's mother comes back with the most empathetic response to a coming-out that I've ever seen in a Thai BL. Maybe Thun's mom is also a response to Tong's mom.

Finally, I want to go back to the theme and the idea of sad endings vs. happy endings. When I first began to get OBSESSED with Thai BLs was when I watched Bad Buddy for the first time. Bad Buddy, to me, encapsulated a feeling I had that what I was watching was DISTINCTLY, PROGRESSIVELY Asian by the many themes it included that I relate to as an Asian, from filial piety, to intergenerational trauma, to keeping secrets from family and friends, and so much more.

I think, for my interpretative stance at this point of the OGMMTVC, that it's clear that Aof Noppharnach has most commonly addressed themes and influences from LoS in his work (again acknowledging that New Siwaj did something similar in My Only 12%). I think I admire the endings of He's Coming To Me and Bad Buddy in particular because Aof did something that I think is really hard to pull off. As I said to @so-much-yet-to-learn, Aof pulled off not-necessarily-happy, open-ended resolutions to those two shows that hewed far more to real-life-level conclusions about queerness than overtly happy endings in the face of other tenuous influences, such as family rejections. At the end of He's Coming To Me, Thun is in love with a ghost that may be reborn at any point in time — Thun could lose Med without a moment’s notice. At the end of Bad Buddy, Pran and Pat are not out to their families and are separated by distance. But -- à la Love of Siam -- there are subtle indications that acceptance may be on the horizon on the part of Pran's and Pat's families.

To me, Aof negotiating these endings is just so brilliant, and hews authentically to the journey, to the path that Asian audiences, like myself, can once again relate to from the media we grew up with. If we as Asians grew up not expecting happy endings, how does that change our experience of watching shows that end happily now? By watching media with inconclusive or pointedly unhappy endings, Asian audiences are led to think that life is more complicated and gray than a happy ending would lead one to believe. From a queer lens — if the MAJORITY of queer media ends badly, then it seems that the underlying message is that the community ITSELF doesn’t DESERVE happiness. I will always appreciate the majority of Thai BLs changing this paradigm.

Many of Aof’s work sit in the middle of this, either by ending or by journey. Moonlight Chicken indicates a painful growth and acceptance process of internalized homophobia for Jim, the chicken rice vendor. Same for Phupha, from A Tale of Thousand Stars to Our Skyy 2. Pat and Pran are physically separated and mostly closeted. Thun is dating a ghost. Even Type and Man in Still 2gether are almost permanently separated by Type’s job. Aof doesn’t shy away from loose ends. He’s not giving devastation. He’s balancing, I think, the history of what was expected, with what real life often gives by way of what actually happens in imperfect situations.

And this isn’t entirely universal in Aof's works. In the two previously existent series that Aof "took over" in Kiss Me Again and 2gether: Pete and Kao are solid at the end of Dark Blue Kiss. Sarawat and Tine end nice and heaty in Still 2gether. But what I think is particularly brilliant about Aof’s overall oeuvre is that balance and appreciation he clearly has for art that questionable, open-ended endings gave to pieces back when he and I were younger folks. Aof doesn’t devastate us, or his characters. But he certainly makes all of us — his characters and his audiences — contemplate the meaning of our existences and our roles in society by way of the obstacles and inequities we all face, by the time a show of his is concluded. Those searing examinations are what I live for in his repertoire in particular, and they are what remind me the most about the Asian media I grew up with vis à vis Aof’s modern works.

I have to thank him for that. Maybe as an older viewer of Thai BLs (I'm close in age to Aof), I sometimes need a bridge to the robust happy endings that shows like Make It Right, Dark Blue Kiss, Still 2gether, and more have. Love of Siam reminded me of where we once stood. Aof's works are the bridge to a kind of 180-degree turn-of-perspective, towards a happiness in fiction that, as a child of Asian media, I never knew I could enjoy. And I'm glad, in today's age as I continue to robustly enjoy the genre that is Thai BL, that I can experience that kind of satisfaction in Thai art now.

[So all of this is happening while we're getting early into Only Friends, and Dangerous Romance premieres this week. The riches! So much going on!

Later this week, I'll publish a (hopefully short-ish) review of another film, My Bromance (2014) to talk about the Flukes and yaoi influences on BL. Then, FINALLY (!!!) will come my Manner of Death review, my A Tale of Thousand Stars rewatch review, my Lovely Writer review (LOVED THIS SHOW), and somewhere in-between, a non-OGMMTVC review of Jojo Tichakorn's The Warp Effect, which I'm HOUSING for the sake of Only Friends.

Hit list below! Hit me with feedback! (Tumblr's new web editor is jacking with this list below and not letting me strikethrough those shows that I've watched. For the most updated list, check this link right here.)

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review coming) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review coming) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (review coming) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review coming) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]

#love of siam #the love of siam #love of siam meta #the love of siam meta #backaof noppharnach #new siwaj #bad buddy #he's coming to me #dark blue kiss #still 2gether #my school president #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #turtles catches up with the essential bls #turtles catches up with thai bls

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darkstar225 · 7 months

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Twice's 10th member gets lectured about her behaviour by 3mix (aka her moms-)

A/N: Heyyy, I'm coming up with a lot of stuff for you guys so I can make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that the anonwho gave me this idea on Tumblr likes it! :)

The request: I have this idea where at the start of their career like pre debut,y/n is a bit of a brat or kinda stubborn so her moms will teach her some manners and be more humble . Thank you ,take your time 🙂

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

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When Y/N first joined Sixteen aiming to be the 10th youngest member, she was a bundle of raw talent and youthful enthusiasm. Her vocal prowess was undeniable, and her dancing skills were remarkable for her age. But beneath that talent lay a stubborn streak and a bratty attitude that had the older members, Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo, raising their eyebrows.

As they embarked on their pre-debut journey, it became increasingly evident that the maknae needed a lesson in humility and manners. Her reluctance to take criticism and her tendency to think she knew better grated on the nerves of her senior members.

One evening, as they all gathered in their dorm, 3mix (the moms) exchanged a knowing look. It was time to address their kid's behaviour before it got out of hand. They loved their youngest member, but they knew she needed guidance.

Nayeon cleared her throat and spoke up, her voice gentle but firm.

Nayeon - Honey, can we talk to you for a moment?

Y/N, who had been scrolling through her phone, looked up with an expression that could only be described as indifferent.

Y/N - Sure, what's up unnies?

Jeongyeon exchanged a glance with Jihyo, and they both shared a knowing look. They needed to get through to their girl.

Jeongyeon - Kiddo, we've noticed that you sometimes come across as... a bit stubborn and bratty.

Said girl raised an eyebrow, her defensive walls immediately going up.

Y/N - What are you talking about? I'm just confident in my abilities.

Jihyo chimed in next, with a motherly and scolding tone.

Jihyo - Confidence is one thing, but being unwilling to take feedback and advice from your seniors is another. We've been in this industry longer, and we want to help you succeed, my love.

Nayeon - We want to teach you to be humble and to understand that there's always room for improvement. It's not about tearing you down, it's about helping you grow.

Y/N crossed her arms, her stubbornness flaring up.

Y/N - I can handle criticism just fine, thank you very much. (Clearly, she can't and that's so me coded lol)

Jeongyeon sighed, her patience wearing thin.

Jeongyeon - Fireball, it's not just about handling criticism, it's about being open to it and using it to improve. You can't grow as an artist if you always think you're right!

The younger girl finally fell silent, her gaze fixed on the floor. The weight of their words began to sink in. She had been trying to join TWICE because she admired these senior unnies and wanted to learn from them. Perhaps it was time to put aside her pride and be more receptive to their guidance.

Over the next few weeks, Y/N made a conscious effort to change her attitude. She began to listen more attentively during practice and rehearsals, absorbing the advice and feedback from Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo. It was a humbling experience, but she could feel herself growing as an artist.

Outside of their rigorous practice schedules, the moms took Y/N under their wing. They shared stories of their early days in the industry, the hardships they had faced, and the lessons they had learned. 3mix's (now) angel soaked up their wisdom like a sponge, realizing that there was so much more to being an idol than just talent.

One day, as they sat together in their dorm, Y/N spoke up.

Y/N - Ommas, I want to thank you for helping me change. I know I was stubborn and difficult to deal with at the beginning, but you've all been patient with me. And I love you so much for treating me as family.

Nayeon smiled warmly.

Nayeon - You've come a long way, honeybee. We could see the potential in you from the start, and we knew you had the talent. We just needed to help you channel it in the right direction.

Jeongyeon - We're really like your mothers in this group, babygirl. We want to see you succeed and grow into the best version of yourself.

Jihyo nodded in agreement.

Jihyo - And we believe in you, boo. Keep working hard and staying humble, and you'll achieve great things.

Y/N felt a warmth in her heart as she looked at her three mother figures. They had become more than just mentors, they were her role models and her family within TWICE. She couldn't have asked for better guides on her journey.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Y/N continued to evolve, both as an artist and as a person. She embraced humility and learned the importance of teamwork and friendship. Her relationship with 3mix grew even stronger, and they became the pillars of support she leaned on during the ups and downs of their pre-debut journey.

When the time came for TWICE's debut, Y/N had not only sharpened her skills but also developed a strong sense of gratitude and respect for her older sisters. She knew that without Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo's guidance, she wouldn't have come this far.

As they stood on the stage together, ready to make their official debut, Y/N couldn't help but smile as she looked at her unnie-mothers. They had taught her the value of humility, the importance of teamwork, and the strength of family. And with that knowledge in her heart, she was ready to take on the world as a member of TWICE. And the unnies looked at her with only one thought in mind:

I'll love this girl forever.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

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captain-aralias · 11 months

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giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

#aralias's baby #personal #my content

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wolfsbaneandthistle · 26 days

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How do the worm holes of tLB universe work?! I'd love to know

I have needed to flesh space travel out for so long so thank you to @milkyfederation for giving me the inspiration and motivation to do this

Text is in the ID if tumblr decides to be mean about the image quality. In addition to the gate being very small, wormholes are only open for extremely short amounts of time. The smaller, more efficient generators can stay open for a few hours at a time, but most other gates can only open long enough for a single ship to go through. What causes this problem isn’t a lack of or the desire to save energy, but is rather the instability of the wormholes themselves. Wormholes just really do not want to exist, and keeping one open long enough to get a ship through safely is a struggle as-is. Gates can close and reopen multiple times in a short span though, so this isn’t necessarily an issue.

and oh my god long post. uh oh

What is more of an issue is scheduling.

The way wormholes are scheduled to open in the Little Bird’s setting is heavily regulated by the galactic government. The way it’s set up is that they want all of the active wormholes to bend reality on one plane, kind of sectioning the universe. They do this mostly for safety, because they don’t know what would happen if they tried to bend the universe in too many directions at once. This means that each gate will have a set destination for a certain amount of time, and their destination is determined by where they’re scheduled to go.

The plane reality is bent on does change, usually every week or so, so that each planet’s local wormhole can have a different destination for some time. But overall it does make travel, shipping, and communication at some times to be rather difficult.

Communication is heavily affected by wormhole access, but less so than the other two.

Little guy. These are allowed onto ships and planets, so you don’t need to go all the way out to a transport wormhole to get the news. Granted. They aren’t really good for talking to other people on other planets. There are a handful of ‘websites’ that run on these guys, but when you’re actually in a populated area you can really only open them for a second or so. More than enough time to download the morning news or send a pre-written email, not enough time to load a social media page.

When on a planet there are usually a few of these in orbit, so anyone on-world can stay updated. These ones can also stay open for quite a bit longer. Or turn off and on again, whatever needs to happen so that your feed is actually up to date. The ‘websites’ that run on them are usually government, military, or the one really large social platform though, so if you want to use those your options are still limited.

The Little Bird having one of these is a little unusual, since it isn’t a deep space ship, but it’s not unheard of.

And uhhhhh

I'm a little sad I can't put a read more under a read more. anyways map :)

#I have half a dozen ideas for posts that I've been sitting on for months now. but this ask actually kicked my ass into gear thank you somuch #little bird worldbuilding #my art #worldbuilding #sci-fi #science fiction

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830poll · 9 months

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(Happy Saturday! Today's housekeeping is rather hefty, so let's get right into it.)

(I'm sick again. Yes, really. For the third time in as many months. And for unrelated reasons. This week's ailment is a perpetual, very sore throat. Not exhausting so much as very annoying so we'll see how my concentration levels hold up.

My work/life balance is getting shifted around next week. That sounds more dramatic than it actually is lol. Point is, I'll either have way more or way less free time soon. Won't know 'til it happens so we'll see how the ol' update schedule goes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tumblr is trying very hard to be pre-Musk twitter, and that's messing up the story's archives. Okay, this is the big one. So as you've probably noticed, Tumblr has been going hard on copying Twitter's layout this past year. Some of them - like adding polls - are great news for us! And then you get the changes to the app layout and the toolbar and this tumblr live shit and good lord just stop. What worries me most is the website trying very, very hard to pivot away from custom blog themes. Most links redirect to the in-dash browser, asks can no longer be sent from people who are logged out, and if you try to read a blog without an account it eventually cuts you off and tells you to sign up. For a webcomic - even a silly, informal one like 8.30 Poll - this is very bad. It's impossible to view the story chronologically when on mobile, and posts with polls in them are set in stone so I can't even manually go back and add in links to each update. If custom themes really are getting removed then these problems will extend to desktop as well. In short, I need to find a way to back up or mirror this story. We're not moving sites because we can't. There isn't another platform out there that has all the features necessary to run a story like this (besides maybe /tg/, but I'm not prepared to run this there lol). So instead I ask how I should go about backing this up. A plain .pdf with the text and images? The animations wouldn't work but it'd be easy and accessible. A HTML5 archive (similar to the Ruby Quest ones) would be more time consuming to put together and would be incompatible with screen readers, but would improve the pacing and allow for animations. Either way, we're almost at a hundred updates so if ever there were a time to start thinking about it, it's now. 'Cause the longer I wait the more of a pain it's going to be to maintain if/when tumblr shits itself.

...And that's about it!

Thank you as always for reading, and for your patience. Can you believe this thing's been going for six months now? Wild.

Will see you all on Monday, barring unforeseen bullshit!)

#8.30 commentary

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maskedemerald · 6 months

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Pre-Order The Last Straw Novella

So the Kickstarter didn't work out but that isn't going to stop me! The book still comes out on the 25th of November! I'm still planning to do a smaller print run so if you want Paperback its going to exist! Follow the link to my website to pre-order in either E-Book or Paperback format!

A Curiosity Piqued – The Last Straw Novella – Masked Emerald

Also If you are interested I have some thoughts about the Kickstarter experience below the cut! Just my thoughts going forward and not words from any kind of expert on the matter. In fact they are rather rambly, sorry about that.

The Numbers

Costs

Indie printing is definitely not cheap, the costs have gone up for pretty much everything. However the worst thing was the increased cost of postage. Everything I read said make 20% of the goal postage costs. The way things are now I found it was more like 35% which is not good. My original printing costs were £3000 but by the time I'd added on fees, postage for the physical books and taxes it was £7000!

The Problem with Social Media

One of the biggest adversaries I faced was the algorithm and social media. Discoverability is shit on pretty much all social media at the moment. Getting seen beyond my existing followers was a big challenge. The only place I found growth was Tumblr and specifically in the Writeblr side of it (Hi new writer friends! I appreciate you! I'm still catching up on the tag games from when I was ill!)

The Experience

Preparations

Definitely next time starting preparations earlier. There is a lot of preparations involved so I'm definitely going to give myself more time so I'm not trying to do it all at the same time.

The video was harder than I thought it would be, give me unscripted streams any day over trying to get that perfect take.

Shy Bens Get Nout

Is a useful phrase however my anxiety sometimes makes it hard to actually do but seriously if you don't ask then you don't get. While it wasn't me that asked, someone asked on my behalf and as a result I got to do a talk about the book on the radio. Pick up the courage and ask, it might just make a difference. The worst they can do is say no. Which yeah can be intimidating but I need to get better at it!

Stress

I've been describing the Kickstarter as a mad dash. That's what it felt like. I had to constantly be pushing it and then things got worse, I got ill. I was in bed with no capacity to do anything for a week. It tanked my ability to push the Kickstarter. I seriously think its a good idea to have a bunch of posts already written and scheduled to go out. That way anything I post is extra. I really didn't like the stress of it personally so if I try again in future I'll be working to keep the stress low.

Future Plans

Longer Term Funding Pool

I'm going to be tracking the money made by The Last Straw and any merch designs to count towards the next print run of either The Last Straw or the next book. I'm also thinking about the people subbing on Twitch and the people considering becoming a Patreon. These people by the time a book comes out have put money into the printing pool and I think it would be more fair if they can also get the physicals without needing to pay full price. Also without them feeling they need to participate in a Kickstarter to make the thing they want happen. So I'm planning to change my rewards! Subs and Patreons will get virtual stamps towards physical items. This lets me keep entry low and even based on how much I get across the Twitch subs and Patreons. I'll be posting a proper breakdown soon.

Plans for Trying Kickstarter Again

I plan to try crowd funding again if the long term pool doesn't get enough for the next book but I am also considering trying out other sites like Indiegogo. The flexible funding is interesting if I could work out the costs the right way. We'll see what happens in March/April when I need to start thinking about printing the next A Curiosity Piqued.

#writing #writeblr community #creative writing #writeblr #amwriting #writer #A Curiosity Piqued Series #The Last Straw Novella

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orionsangel86 · 1 year

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Getting nostalgia for SPN fandom experiences is rare but I'm feeling it tonight. Back when the show was still on, and a new season would have 22 episodes, it would air weekly from October, with a couple of holiday hiatus's all the way through til the following May. 8 months of almost constant weekly new content. I miss that experience.

SPN fandom back then was great because after a new episode aired you had a week to discuss, write meta, analyse, speculate, make gifsets and fanart, and just generally thrive in the excitement of what was gonna happen next.

Yes SPN was for the most part a pretty crappy show with terrible plot holes and repetitive stories that made no sense half the time but that only added to the fun of it.

I miss it. I know there are still SOME shows on network TV that have these schedules but its rare to find an active fandom nowadays thats blessed with constant new content to bond over. Streaming shows get released in bulk, or the ones that are released weekly are at most 10 episodes long and so the fandom build up and excitement only ever lasts a few months at most (followed by a minimum 2 year hiatus in most cases!)

I wish we could go back to the pre binge watching days. Half the fun of getting into a new show should be getting to experience it weekly with the fanbase on Tumblr. Thats how people interacted and made friends.

The landscape on tumblr is so different nowadays, and I think streaming platforms are partly to blame for that.

Anyways this is me telling all my old spn moots still hanging around on Tumblr that I miss our weekly spn chats and long text posts sharing meta and speculation with about a dozen excellent additions to every post. I miss the episode reviews and the shit posts and how if there was even a tiny destiel moment it would instantly become the most gif'd and screencapped thing on tumblr for the entire next week. I miss the post episode fic drabbles that would immediately fix whatever crap the episode pulled that fandom decided it hated, and I miss the hilarious and yet ruthless way everyone would tear apart Buckleming after every single one of their episodes.

Those were good times on Tumblr. The golden days of SPN fandom. It was so much fun back then.

#supernatural #spn fandom #destiel #the golden age of tumblr #the nostalgia for 2014 tumblr is real tonight for some reason #i legit miss it #i wish my new fandoms had that

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bqtero · 3 months

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Tumblr Progress Update #3

The past two weeks have been really busy. It has been heavy in terms of pre-production especially. I spent a lot of time putting together my shot list and scouting out locations for filming. After going through the pre-production phase, I had to set a schedule for myself to film my project and figure out what order to film all of my shots. I had to work around my work schedule and my other classes since the first initial scene includes mainly night shoots, and I work the closing shifts five nights out of the week. I did manage to work around it, though. I'm currently working on finishing up the rest of the shots that I need to get and I'm also working on editing the scene at the same time. I also worked on getting teasers done for my TikTok account. Those teasers are slowly being released this week up until the release of my first scene on February 16th.

TikTok Account: @bqtero.films

The next two weeks are going to be releasing more behind-the-scenes content as well as releasing the first initial scene. I'm also going to be going back through the pre-production and production phases again for the second scene.

Some hurdles that I had to go through over the past two weeks had to do with the location scouts. Some locations that I had originally planned to film at weren't great in terms of lighting or some shots were just too difficult to get, so I had to change gears and switch locations. I also broke my tripod on the day of filming, so I had to improvise with some shots and try to use my old tripod to film certain shots. I've got the tripod replaced at this point, but it was stressing me out on the first day of filming. I still have concerns about traction on my TikTok account and getting responses, but I won't know until I actually release the first initial scene how that will go. I've gotten a decent amount of interaction so far, enough to get responses when the time comes, so I'm crossing my fingers. While planning the shots and the story, I also had to consider filming over multiple weeks and months and trying to keep continuity as consistent as possible. I'm trying to keep my hairstyle and outfits all in check, and I also had to consider locations that would undergo the least amount of changes over time for certain scenes. Scenes that I only use once aren't really the issue here, but scenes that cut into the following scenes are going to require a little more care to ensure continuity stays intact.

I'm currently right on schedule on my timeline and I'm keeping up with my deadlines so far! I'm currently in the production phase, heading into the post-production phase for my first scene out of five. This first scene is likely going to take the most amount of work and is the longest to film, but everything is still going smoothly all things considered.

I have my teasers and my introductory video complete! I don't want to send any teasers I haven't already released, so I'll send my first teaser here along with a section of my shot list!

-Bryson

#film #writing #capstone

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fundielicious-simblr · 1 year

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A Belated Easter & Passover & Eid Mubarak! Hello to all the new followers and long time no see to the OGs 😂

It seems I've gone on an accidental sabbatical from posting on here, which definitely wasn't meant to happen, but between work and life moving unnecessarily fast I didn't have enough free time to sit and play. What I have been doing, however, is putting together a nice healthy queue of posts because I had a teeny bit of writer's block that resolved itself in time. I was meant to restart posting this passed friday actually, but I ended up having loads of Eid plans so I was out and about all day (I'm in not muslim but celebrate it culturally)

In the meantime, I realised I've hit 200 followers! That in itself is a miracle considering how stagnant this account gets. I've been quietly reading the other blog updates and am keeping myself entertained on the various other fundie sim blogs, I love seeing the new ones popping up to join us in this mini community we've created. Because I enjoy complicating my life, I've decided that I don't like the current tumblr theme I'm using and will be restructuring everything as well as updating character info. That will definitely be a work in progress.

When I last left off was pre-harvestfest in my sim world, so these posts coming will be Harvestfest posts, which I feel is good because they should serve as reminders (or introductions) to the characters that feature on here. The plan is to post every other day so I don't feel like I'm running to fill up the queue after. The infant update came as I was like 6 posts in, so there's a bit of an adjustment I've made for the age spans i've calculated, but essentially i'm just cutting the newborn stage in half because ain't no way i'm doing all those calculations again.

Here is the family tree with all the details, the character pages on the blog won't work because of the restructuring. I've updated most of the character pages on the family tree, there's some spoilers so read at your own risk. The rest I either haven't taken the time to copy and paste my character notes, or just don't have anything written at all 😂

The main aim was to post this on the 21st of April, but time gets away from me (and I also realised the family tree needed major updates so that took a week) so this is going up 1st May. I recently resigned from my job so my schedule looks very different, but I'm planning to do 2 professional qualifications back to back so I have no idea how much time I'll have once I've started - so for now I'm trying to allocate as much time to do this before I have none left.

#wow look at me finally posting #im a professional procrastinator

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lifeofkaze · 2 years

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September List

Exactly one year ago, I wrote the first of my monthly motivation lists, hoping to get a bit of a system into my steadily growing WIP list and up my productivity. Now, twelve lists later, I can happily report that I have not only finished one major project with When Stars Ignite but can actually see the finish line of the second, equally as big project, A Search for Balance. I have also pretty much mapped out most of the rest of the big ones yet to come, several mini-series planned and more than doubled the amount of shorts, challenges and other projects on my masterlist in the last twelve months. Looks like the lists are working, right? Maybe, they are actually working a little bit too well. I have felt increasingly tired lately, the creative part of my brain is harder and harder to activate but never quiet enough for me to actually rest. This September will bring many personal changes for me - after two years of being a stay-at-home-mum, my kid transitions into daycare this month, and after he's settled in, I will return to work, something I'm incredibly looking forward to. But participating more in the 'real' life also means that the time I have to spend on here will be reduced, or at least, its pattern will change, which - for this month of transition and creative recovery, in any case - will be reflected in this month's to-do list. Take care, everyone 💛

This month I need to:

This month I *need* to do nothing at all. Whatever I will do on the creative front I will do because it inspires me, and if it doesn't, well, I just won't do it. I might drum out 100k words or none at all. Both of them are legit, and both of them are fine.

The only thing I need to do is try and be more mindful of my time instead of brainless scrolling through TikTok, Tumblr and the likes. I will still be around, but I also want to try and detox my digital habits a little until they reach a healthier level.

WIP Progress: A Search for Balance

Estimated Goal: No estimated goal this month Reached Goal: 40/52 (+1)

This month I want to:

❌ Read a book ❌ Write a story from the Vault ❌ Script a story from the Vault ❌ Profile updates ❌ Timelines ❌ HPMA series Y1 ❌ Legacy series Y1 ❌ Map out Caro's series ❌ Caitlin's profile ❌ Dana's run-up stories to my Christmas series (0/2)

Publishing Schedule:

I'm adding this little section to my list to let you know that while the "Back to School"-Challenge by @cursebreakerfarrier runs for the first week of the month (which I will not be participating in), A Search for Balance goes on a one week break. Regular publishing schedule will continue on September 9th with bi-weekly posts until the Pre-Season finishes with C12 on September 30th.

I will take another publishing break during the whole month of October to edit and brush up on the second section of the story.

To not disappear from your feeds entirely (sorry if I got your hopes up there for a sec, haha), I will be posting the first two chapters of my Rockstar AU mini-series Before the Spark in this publishing break, the masterlist of which will go live on October 3rd, which I headcanon as Orion's birthday.

Until then, my lovely friends 💛

#september 2022 #september list #september motivation #is lacking lol #writing schedule #writblr

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not-poignant · 2 years

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Apologies if you’ve answered this, but is there a place we can check where you keep sort of an update on what your working on next/what’s coming?

I’ve heard of Mallory & Mount but was curious if there’s even more to be hype about for the future!! (Also I know you’re on a break, please take all the break you need, you’re such an epic writer ❤️❤️)

Honestly this is the place! For a more fast paced environment, there's also the Fae Tales Discord, (which isn't just Fae Tales but all my writing), but that is very spoiler heavy (though it is possible to mute individual channels so you don't get notifications for those). I often use the housekeeping tag here on Tumblr to update people on specific projects etc. happening. You can also search my specific Tumblr for tags to look for things I've written about upcoming projects, like the mallory and mount tag.

I generally don't make a lot of announcements because I don't actually pre-write most of my stories. So I have nothing to announce. I'm not secretly sitting on anything right now except one more chapter of the Augus/Gwyn epilogue. By the time I have a first chapter, for most of my stories that means it's ready to go up, lol.

I post excerpts here which shows what I'm actively working on.

But chapter announcements go here, on the Patreon account, and on Discord. I'll generally announce when a story is getting released here and on Discord, but it usually comes in the form of 'hey I'm putting a chapter up in 2 days' and not like...a very planned out schedule.

Mallory & Mount is different, but that's a while away (as I've said in other responses) due to it needing a lot of worldbuilding, and probably needing a buffer of chapters, which means it might be a good few months away yet.

In terms of what I'm actually working on right now - I'm taking a break! So...technically nothing! Lol. But if I was working right now, this is what it'd be:

All that We Were, and All that We Will Ever Be - Augus/Gwyn epilogue to mirror the one in The Ice Plague #3

Underline the Black - Efnisien/Dr Gary omegaverse AU

The Nascent Diplomat - Augus/Gwyn 'what if Gwyn was raised by the Unseelie Court and a Master Mage' AU. (I always put a chapter of this up a month as it's a Patreon early access story)

And some Faedom Week stuff too.

Once I commit to a long-form story (i.e. something around 200-300k) that's generally the bulk of my schedule for 1-3 years - so that's what Underline the Black will become.

Unfortunately you've literally caught me between schedules, lol. I've had a pretty fixed schedule for years and years with The Ice Plague (every second Thursday!) But my two big stories have finished, I have no idea how easy or hard Underline the Black will be to write so I have no idea what to expect going forward!

You can generally expect around 25,000-45,000 words (and sometimes more) of writing from me a month though (except this month), so there's always something going up. It works out to about 5-9 chapters depending on chapter-length and story per month. :) I tell everyone about the chapters anyway like I said above, so if you're here, on Patreon, or on Discord, you're gonna find out!

#asks and answers #housekeeping #underline the black #the nascent diplomat #augus and gwyn epilogue #i hilariously realised i'd written the title down wrong for that on AO3 but it's fixed now #um but also i'm not superhuman #and i cannot write lots of stories at the same time #and i do not have secret stories waiting to be published #i'm very much a 'what you see is what you get' author #who opines the fact that my ADHD doesn't let me write whole novels in advance to share lol #so if i've finished two stories #that's it #i got nothin at the moment sdalkfjsadkfjds

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enekorre · 1 year

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dude I've been lurking on tumblr for like a year and i still feel like there are things to learn. just like a week ago nothing was happening, first it felt like this when the queen died and then you guys celebrate the 2 year anniversary of some guys confessing to each other. Is it always like this, im getting whiplash...

I used to be like this constantly in 2012 if I remember correctly. Or more accurately, we had more days like this that became special occasions. Times when you'd hit post limit halfway into the day. Things that would cause it would be new seasons, new episodes, things like mishapocalypse... Sometimes politics, but we were mostly in our early teens back then, and pre-2016 wasn't as life-or-death as they have become now. We'd call Mitt Romney a leviathan and the worst that could happen, and pretend to sprinkle borax on him. We didn't know what would come. It was a simpler time, when ship wars were ship wars and not paedophilia accusations lol.

It was an insane time, and honestly so much fun. For us that were in fandom, at least. The "hipster side" (aka everyone not in fandom, mainly porn blogs and aesthetic blogs) had to deal with our crap. I think they mainly ignored us, but for the fandom side it was another fun "war".

Anyway I'm rambling. Most of us have been here for around a decade this year, and most of us joined at around the same age, so we have so much in common despite coming from very different places. A lot of it has turned into in-jokes that seem completely incomprehensible.

You wanna know my fav thing that I saw during 5th nov 2020? It was a post that just said "Cas died on a Thursday". It is so short and has so many layers. I love it so much. Completely understanding all parts of it requires knowledge about fics place in fandom, the supernatural fandom, Castiel in Christian mythology, one specific fic called Twist and Shout, and the CW release schedule for SPNs last season (specifically ep 18, despair).

#m #nov 5th #tumblr #fandom #meta #asks #i love it so much i keep talking about it to whatever fictional character im twirling in my mind that week whenever i remember it

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davidmariottecomics · 1 year

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The New Year (2023)!

Hi there and happy new year!

I'm back after a short break for the holidays! As of writing, I've been maintaining my blog on my own website for over a year. I've grown that blog by extending it out to a newsletter and a Tumblr. Happy anniversary to the blog and let's get to it! This one's going to be pretty personal and then next week I'll get back to talking about comics, storytelling, the not-so-secret life of an editor, and pressing issues of social and societal import!

Being self-reflective, the transition from one year to another is a complicated time. It is the period when what has been and what could be really collide and force one to define what is.

I tried to get out of a little bit of that by posting a whole week into the year, but honestly, that feeling's still coming for me. Professionally and creatively, that transition feels like a bit of a metamorphosis as I transition from what I've been doing to what I hope to do. While there are plenty of constants being maintained, things like Sonic which I've now been working on for 5 years (and which will soon have been releasing for 5 years), I've also recently said goodbye to Transformers and hello to Godzilla as an editor. This time last year, the last issue of TF Wreckers was about to be released and I knew I had at least a little bit of other writing work in the hopper. This time this year, I don't have any releases currently scheduled, and yet, I'm hoping/already in some ways planning for this year to have my highest writing output yet. I am a writer and an editor and I want both sides to feel equally nurtured.

For a long time, I haven't really made resolutions with the new year. Not because I feel the distinction of years is arbitrary or I don't believe I'll stick to them or anything.More, the goals I was already setting for myself existed outside the scope of the year change and so it wouldn't feel genuine to call them resolutions when they were pre-existing. And this year, for the first time, I have some. I'm not going to share them in full--a few people close to me know, but they're personal and outside the scope of the transparency I usually try to provide. But it's an interesting feeling having some "resolutions" and, like so many people, at least right now, they're energizing me even when other things aren't.

The other part of the new year, of course, is reflecting on the previous year. What you did, what you enjoyed, the moments big and small and that seemed so important, but were quickly forgotten. Fortunately, through the blessing of a blog, here's some of the stuff that I was reminded I did proudly in 2022.

I got engaged to Rebecca Ann. They're my best friend and favorite person and I love them.

I launched a website and a blog that posted *nearly* weekly and made a few sales.

I went to WonderCon, Tucson Comic-Con, San Diego Comic-Con, and a ton of smaller events around CA.

I released multiple Transformers comics that I wrote, including finally getting to contribute to Beast Wars, a lifelong dream.

I saw my sister graduate high school.

I made some weird little drawings and comics for myself, many of them posted here.

I wrote more than I probably ever have, though there's plenty of it that'll likely never see the light of day.

I ended up in the top 0.1% of Lizzo listeners on Spotify for the second year in a row. I don't know that this is actually as momentous an accomplishment as some of these other things, but it is funny.

I somehow managed to do a little bit of traveling, spent a lot of time with family, and had some very rough moments in crowded places without getting sick.

I saw Transformers to it's end with some of the best TF books of all time.

I hit a milestone issue, #50, with Sonic and then kept going and have a lot more to come.

I made progress on various other deals and titles that you'll be finding out more about from IDW in the weeks and months to come.

I met various other professional goals in creating comics I'm proud of and working with some of the greatest creators ever to practice the craft.

I was a good cat dad.

I made new friends.

I tried really, really hard to find a balance that works for me between work and life and the ways that so many of my interests and hobbies overlap with my job. I'm not sure I've quite got it down just yet, but I'm getting there.

I also, liked a ton of stuff! So, if you're maybe new here for one reason or another, here's your chance to get an idea of what sort of stuff I like and if you like it too, maybe we can talk.

What I enjoyed last year (not a comprehensive list, but a lot of it): Blank Check (Podcast), Smallville (TV show), Special by Lizzo (Album), Bar Rescue (TV show), Chainsaw Man (Manga & Anime), Honkai Impact (Video game), She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV show), Ted Lasso (TV show), Genshin Impact (Video Game), multiple comics unions forming, Pokemon games, Dr. Gameshow (Podcast), Spy x Family (Manga & Anime), Jack Johnson (Musician), The Flophouse Podcast, Willy's Wonderland (Movie), Barbarian (Movie), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Persona 5 Strikers (Video Game), My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix (book), Komi Can't Communicate (Anime), Hello From the Magic Tavern (Podcast), The Afterparty (TV show), X (Movie), Pearl (Movie), Junkwraith by Ellinor Richey (Comic), Aeonian Red by Gigi Dutreix (Webcomic), Solve this Murder (Podcast), Pokemon cards, Medallion Status by John Hodgman (Book), Beastars (Manga), Mark Darkly's Dark Room #1 (Comic), Escape This Podcast, Nancy (comic strip), Dicktown (TV Show), Garth Marenghi's Dark Place (TV Show, doesn't fully hold up, but still some great bits), My Lovey-Dovey Wife is a Stone Cold Killer (Manga), The Batman (Movie), the Sonic 30th Anniversary symphony, Turning Red (Movie), Inventing Anna (TV Show), Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), Shrek! by William Steig (Book), Lizzo's Watch Out for the Big Grrrls (TV show), Tomie by Junji Ito (Book), Woke Season 2 (TV show), Young Justice (TV show), Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Movie), Moon Knight (TV show), Chopping Mall (Movie), Dead Eyes (Podcast), Mr. Mayor (TV show), Kaguya-Sama: Love is War (Manga & Anime), Secret Identity by Alex Segura (Book), Maniac of New York (Comic), Catherine Full Body (Video Game), Hey Riddle Riddle (Podcast), The Rock Cocks (Webcomic for Adults Only), Alfie (Webcomic for Adults Only), Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (Movie), Squirrel Girl The Unbeatable Radio Show (podcast), Venom (Movie), The Quick and the Dead (Movie), A Simple Plan (Movie), Army of Darkness (Movie), Sweat & Soap (Manga), Obi-Wan Kenobi (TV show), Vixen: NYC (Webcomic), Ms. Marvel (TV show), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW Comic),Witch Watch (Manga), Persona 5 Royal (Video Game), Wotokoi: Love is Hard for Otaku (Manga), Sonic Origins (Video Game), Only Murders in the Building (TV show), Monthly Girls Nozaki-Kun (Manga), Lore Olympus (Webcomic), Gil Thorp (Comic), Halloween Kills (Movie), Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Anime), My Hero Academia (Anime), Uzaki-Chan Wants to Hang Out (Anime), Yakuza: Like a Dragon (Video Game), Godzilla (1954 movie), Werewolf by Night (Movie), Far Sector (Comic), Abbott Elementary (TV show), The Simpsons (TV show), The Loneliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen (Album), Prom Queen by Beach Bunny (Album), House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Book), Evil Dead Trap (Movie), Sonic Frontiers (Video game), Lego Masters (TV show), The Tick (2016-2019 TV show), the Quintessential Quintuplets movie, my cats!

New Releases this week (1/4/2022): Sonic the Hedgehog #56 (Editor)

New releases next week (1/11/2022): Godzilla Rivals II: Rodan vs. Ebirah (Editor) Godzilla: Monsters & Protectors - All Hail the King #4 (Editor)

Announcements: Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival - 2/25! Becca and I will be coming to the AZ Comic Arts Fest! It's a one day comic-focused event in Phoenix, AZ. Tickets are only like $10. And besides us, there's an incredible group of folks going. Mitch Gerads! Steve Rude! John Layman! Henry Barajas! Jay Fotos! Jeff Mariotte! Marcy Rockwell! John Yurcaba! Andrew MacLean! Alexis Zirrit! Meredith McClaren! James Owen! Ryan Cody! And many more! Come and see us!

Next week: Over the break, I saw some chatter about whether or not some of the larger publishers are due for another reboot/relaunch/continuity reset of some sort and we'll talk about why limited continuity is so appealing for pitches and creators and new readers, but how leaving continuity behind is also a headache and a half for everyone involved!

Pic of the Week: Becca ended up having one last little event right at the end of the year! They tabled at the New Year's Eve party for fundraising for block reconstruction in our neighborhood! So we spent our NYE doing something we did a lot this year, tabling and selling cool merch.

#happynewyear #2023 #comics #comic blog #idw #Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival #comics editorial #manga recs #tv recs #comics recs #movie recs

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beautifully-lumpy · 2 years

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the beautiful person's journal - #1: graphic design

for this very first installment of my caddicarus history series, i'm gonna go full graphic designer brain on y'all. yeah, i'm turning it up to 100 already.

for brevity's sake, i'm only going to be talking about the profile pics, channel art, and the thumbnails/title cards/logos of the caddicarus show. i'll do separate posts about the other shows another time. but for this one, i'm sticking to the OG show we all know and love.

throughout its 11-year history, the caddicarus channel has changed a lot in its branding. that's expected for a youtube channel, especially one that was started by a 17-year-old kid who would keep making videos into his late 20's and beyond.

as a graphic design major who was 100% an autistic logo kid, i was fascinated by the channel's branding. fascinated by how...interesting it was.

to put it lightly, the branding was very rough around the edges. but before i dive deep into that, let's talk about how the channel looks now.

in the year of our lord 2022, the caddicarus channel has never looked better. this is personally my favorite branding the channel's ever had! it's very consistent, the color palette is beautiful, i LOVE the thick outlines, the character design for caddy is very clean and captures his cartoonish personality well. the shift from bright blue to these deep purples/dark indigoes gives the channel a unique identity compared to a whole bunch of other gaming channels that also use blue colors, similar to vinesauce with the color green. the halftone accents replacing the playstation icons help emphasize that caddy doesn't only talk about PS stuff, yet the logo retains the asciiware controller, still showing his connection. this flatter version of jan animations' logo works well with the rest of the branding, it's like the cherry on top. it really gives the channel this glorious late 90's-early 2000s feel. it's a gorgeous branding by littlemisschii, who is a godsend to this community.

i could go on and on about how beautiful this branding is and how it's the caddicarus branding younger me always wanted to see, but we've gotta move on to the brandings before this one.

this current branding may be sleek and clean, but it wasn't always like this. in fact, one of the charms of the pre-2020 (or pre-august 2018 by extension) caddicarus channel was how mismatched and rough-looking it was. i can't put too many images on here due to the image limit, but just scroll through the caddicarus channel and you'll see for yourself how rough it was before season 11.

when i started watching caddicarus in august 2014, the channel looked like this:

(thumbnails won't load on internet archive 😔)

this was an AWESOME banner by whaddupnico/nico vliek (yes, the nico vliek who did scott the woz's branding!) nico partnered with caddy for about 5 or so years, from 2013 to 18. in 2013 his first project for him was two t-shirts based on current quickies and jaws unleashed, and in 2014 he made this banner. nico designed a bunch of different logos for caddy's 5 shows at the time in the styles of various video game logos. and in the center was that masterpiece of a cooltext.com-generated logo that was used up until the channel (initially) reached 500k subscribers in mid-2016. i can't think of any other youtuber who got that high with a goddamn cooltext logo. it's just so wonderfully caddy.

this was the channel banner until 2016, when season 6 premiered, the caddicarus show became weekly and the three-videos-a-week schedule was officially established after some experiments. after this banner was retired, every caddicarus channel art followed the same format: logo in middle, schedule/social media somewhere on the banner, and starting in july 2016 - caddy to the right of the logo.

here's a dump of images i'm going to be explaining; i'm doing it like this to combat tumblr's 10-image limit. this shows how much i adore this channel and the lengths i'll go to preserve its history LOL. you can click on em get a closer look.

small error on the profile pics image: the sixth profile pic is supposed to say 2019-21 as it was introduced alongside season 13's thumbnails featuring caddy's actual face

okay, gathering up all those images and dates and compiling them together took a toll on me...now time to discuss them!

if you paid attention hard enough back in the day, you may remember how mismatched the branding was through 2016-18. the biggest example of this revolved around the blue playstation icons background.

on july 10th, 2016, the current logo was introduced to the channel. this logo designed by jan animations is the caddicarus logo nowadays - the first thing that comes into anyone's mind when caddicarus is brought up. but of course, back when it was introduced, it was pretty polarizing. it was quite possibly the snazziest, coolest, fanciest piece of branding the caddicarus channel ever had! but it had its detractors...and they honestly had a reason to detract, because for the first 10 months of its use, caddy decided to use this cheerful logo over the grungy, unfitting background he'd been using for years.

but what's even more slightly irritating about this is that only a week after the logo was introduced, caddy put this logo on the banner - using a blue gradient background with PS icons on it. this background was nowhere to be found in the videos, though.

but finally - starting with the shadowman episode - caddy added the new background to the intro! the logo fit!!

but...the thumbnails still had mismatched branding!!!

...until the debut of season 10, when the grunge was entirely taken away from the show and he added the PS icons to the thumbnail. it took him this long!

yeah, sure, it doesn't matter in hindsight, but man did it infuriate me at the time as an aspiring graphic designer!

but at the same time, that was the charm.

the thumbnail art...is a pretty divisive subject. but it's also another one of the worst offenders of mismatched branding. until season 6, the same image of caddy was used on every thumbnail for every show (except for drive thru reviews). and there's already a HUGE problem with this - this image was drawn around 2012-13 with 2012-13 caddy in mind. meaning...there was no beard, he had a scrawnier build, and his hair is longer. so...this image quickly became outdated as he began to grow a beard, but it became even more outdated when caddy shaved his hair in 2014. but he continued to use it. even into late 2015 after he'd gotten his mohawk. it got to the point where the thumbnail looked like some random guy rather than the guy in the video you clicked on. even the hair color was inaccurate! so beginning with season 6, we FINALLY got the thumbnail overhaul we needed.

and uh...it sure was a thumbnail overhaul.

of all the thumbnail art caddy's used, this was the most poorly received. caddy's mohawk and new hand tattoos were already polarizing among some viewers, and this new image didn't help matters. common criticisms revolved around the animesque art style combined with flawed lineart and shading. this image was used throughout the rest of 2016.

then, after he moved to his current house in 2017 and artificially created reached his 101st episode, caddy updated the image to a new one drawn by the same artist. while this art wasn't without its detractors, this was widely considered a massive improvement over the 2016 art and was welcomed with open arms. this one featured caddy wearing his beanie, so it could be a somewhat neutral, central representation of him should he change his hairstyle again.

this art was used until season 11 in august 2018, when jetpackbraggin was first brought in. you can scroll through his thumbnails and see how fast he got into the groove of drawing caddy; the first several or so thumbnails were pretty rough but it really started coming together by the spider-man episode. today, we have absolutely gorgeous unique thumbnails drawn by him for each new caddicarus episode! the thumbnails before had art and a logo that were both outsourced, but when it came to how jim placed things on the thumbnail...it was kinda messy lol. he'd make images too large and it would cover the caddicarus logo...you couldn't read the name of the show you were about to watch for some videos hahaha. these new thumbnails from JPB gave the channel a cleaner look.

and also, for seasons 11-13...the blue borders came in.

images that make you go hmmm...

you can really see how desperate he was here 😔

so if this post has taught you anything, it's that caddy himself isn't the greatest at graphic design LMAO. but i'll say it again...that was the charm! the caddicarus channel looks drop dead gorgeous these days, and i could gush over that forever, but man there's more and more people every day who either forget or don't remember how wonderfully awful everything used to look. it's just one more thing that made caddy stand out; a lot of other gaming channels had/have super sleek branding with a whole team of writers/producers/business people/whatever. but caddicarus - even after all the changes and branding outsourcing - has always been caddy's baby. it's his show and his show only, and that's what makes it so special! 💜

i hope you enjoyed this first installment of my series!

#caddicarus #hidden block #hiddenblock #jim caddick #the caddicarus show #the beautiful person's journal #the BPJ

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