#precise works is super hard if not impossible for him to due

[missorgana]

at the end of the day

pairing: bucky barnes/sam wilson

fandom: marvel cinematic universe

rating: general

word count: 3165

warning: blood mention, nightmares

summary: "You don't have to do this, you know." Sam finds himself protesting, and Bucky wipes his arm in his t-shirt without looking up, "Yeah I do, genius." (canon compliant, mistaken for being a couple, domestic fluff)

(of course i had to get one more fic out before the TFATWS finale is upon us 💔 basically just... domestic idiots. a little hurt/comfort. i’m gonna miss them so much it’s critical. don’t have much else to say?? enjoy??)

read on ao3

They haven’t been talking much about anything since they got back.

And he wasn’t planning to see Bucky here of all places. Home. He guesses it’s typical of him to drop in unannounced like that, stoic act on and silently helping out on the boat, after greeting Sarah with a semi-confident smile. 

He wanted to try and talk to him, but Sam doesn’t quite know what to say. The other man gave him a smile, too, but it seemed different from the one he gave his sister, somehow. More smug, kind of. But not really.

And really, despite how goddamn annoying he is much of the time, Bucky seemed to enjoy the work, and the super soldier strength certainly helped moving things forward. So Sam practically insisted on him taking the couch. Sarah, too, it’s the least they could do, and the man was fishing for the invite anyway.

So when everyone finally calls it off before midnight, he sets up the couch for his co-worker for the night, the boys already sleeping and Sarah watching him from the kitchen looking cocky as hell.

Sam can’t help glancing at where he packed away the shield, just one more time. He’s not sure what to do with it yet. Just stares at it, thinking about the blood that he managed to wash off.

He eventually turns to her, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sarah shakes her head. Opens the fridge, closes it, turns off the light and leans against the doorway with a chuckle. “It’s nice of him to help out, you know.”

“Hm?”

She raises her eyebrow, “Bucky.”

Sam tries to figure out what she’s saying. No, he knows what she’s saying, but for some reason, he feels like she’s keeping a secret from him. He doesn’t even know if he has energy to question her, too sweaty and muscles aching just a bit, so maybe, for now, he’ll let sleep take him and tease her about it tomorrow.

“Yeah.” He dumps the last throw pillows in the corner before she wraps her arms around his waist and rests her chin on shoulder. Sam returns the hug instantly. Such a softie.

But he feels her laugh again against his chin, so he plants a kiss on the top of her hair and expects her to say more, but she doesn’t. Just scrunches her nose at him, when the front door opens and Bucky walks in.

The man stands in the dark for a second, warily, perhaps scared to interrupt, so Sam calls the idiot over, “Couch is all set. Unless you need more pillows, or, uh…”

He only realises he has no idea where he’s going with that sentence when it’s already out. Sarah smacks his arm away.

She also turns around to Bucky, who gives her the tiniest wave possible. His sister returns it by grabbing her almost empty cup of tea and passing him on the way up with a pat on his back, “Night, boys.”

“It’s fine, you know.” the other man tells him then, only surprising Sam for a moment, seriously, and he weighs his feet, unsure of whether to take his leave already. Probably should, “Sorry, what?”

“The couch.”

Of course, his senses are the worst without eight hours of sleep. At least. Albeit, he hasn’t had that in a long time, “Ah.”

Bucky’s staring at him. He’s definitely been standing here too long, absentmindedly and feeling the exhaustion out into his fingertips, but unable to move. Might be better than all the pacing.

So he bids his goodnight, not even bothering to check the time, and the only response given from the other man are the brief touch of fingers grazing his palm as he leaves the living room. Sam can’t begin to unpack what sort of secret his co-worker might be trying to let him in on right now.

But he knows Bucky waited for this gesture to be theirs alone. Why is that?

*

It turns into a bit of a routine, Bucky circulating their workplace and doing the heavy lifting when they need it. He especially likes to do it when Sam’s around, he’s noticed.

Still staring, too.

Sam particularly feels some certain eyes on the back of his neck while he’s screwing bolts in place, then there’s a hand on his waist, and since it’s early, he can’t quite be bothered fighting the other man on this.

And when it occurs to him that the man might be, definitely is following him with his eyes as he steps down to fetch the paint, he can’t even react, due to Sarah’s elbow nudging his side. She also snatches the paint right in front of him, defeated once again.

“Hi, Sarah!” Bucky exclaims, dramatically wiping his forehead, zero shame. He’ll have to give him a don’t flirt with my sister talk later.

She giggles, “Hi.” then looks over at him again and clicks her tongue. “Such a gentleman.”

Sam can’t help but laugh out loud at that statement. Bucky’s frowning at them in the distance, pretending he isn’t, but not exactly the king of subtly.

“A showoff, more like,” and when his sister shakes her head, he wonders, like last night, exactly what she’s trying to tell him without telling him, “What?”

Perhaps she’s not telling him anything and he’s just reading her wrong, but that’d be the most shocking of the more than confusing life they’re accustomed to lately. Returning post-blip, having not seen his family in five year, Sam still knows her like the back of his hand. And oh, she’s well aware, because she’s smirking again.

“You’re not fooling me, Samuel.” Sarah tells him, poking his nose before accepting his co-worker’s offered hand and stepping onto deck.

He feels his own frown forming, but Cass calling his name takes him out of the trance his sister just put him in, and he carries on. Maybe it really is nothing. Maybe Bucky tries too hard to spend time with Sarah and he’ll have to give him a tongue-in-cheek scolding later, because truth be told, he’s not that mad. It’s equally heartwarming and ridiculous, he decides.

Sam’s not sure what that funny feeling in his gut is doing when the other man finds him on the lower deck and, like it’s second nature by now, helps him out, softly pushing him out of the way when he sees him struggle.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” he finds himself protesting, despite the deed already being done, and Bucky wipes his arm in his t-shirt without looking up, “Yeah I do, genius.”

Sam doesn’t know why the visual of his co-worker sticking his tongue out in concentration feels endearing and personal and like a savorable moment to remember, but it does, so he can’t hide the smiling finding its way onto his lips.

When he gets Bucky’s attention again, the man looks stupidly intense.

“We’re due a lunch break-”

“Hold on,” the voice interrupts him, and in a flash the other man is mere inches from him, moved into his space and touches his cheekbone with ease.

He’s not sure what that’s about either, but it may just cause Sam’s heart to skip a beat or two.

Bucky nods, more to himself than to him he figures, and steps back to gather the tools scattered across the floor. That wasn’t weird, per say, but it was something.

“Something wrong?” Sam wonders aloud.

It’s hard to interpret his facial expressions, but this time, he smiles shyly and mussles up his hair just a tad more. He himself feels quite silly for watching that movement this closely.

The other man wiggles the pipes a little more, seems satisfied they’re secure and gestures for him to ascend out into the open first, “You had an eyelash.”

“Oh.”

*

After precisely four and a half months without nightmares, one makes its unwelcome return and has Sam shuddering awake not long after midnight.

The bedroom’s humid, but his blood feels frozen in his veins and despite trying hard, too hard, his legs have turned immovable.

Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

His brain counts to ten three times over, raking memory after memory of the techniques he knew from his therapist, but it’s not always easy to find in practice. Not when his friend’s figure crashing down beside him, falling with an impossible speed from the sky, has burned its way back on his retinas.

It’s that scene that plays over and over. Not always this part, but most of the time.

For some reason, the nightmare takes him back to the shield lying hidden in plain sight in the living room, hesitantly grasping onto it, the blood transferring onto his bruised hands, the damned thing stuck in his mind so much that he had to take it home.

Sam’s breathing is still ragged, despite another attempt at an exercise.

That’s why he barely registers the door opening and gentle footsteps crossing the carpet until a hand comes to rest on top of his own. 

He fully sits up in an uneven jump, still unable to feel his legs, but Bucky’s features soon materialize in the dark. Sam’s heart has suddenly moved into his throat.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, and instead of gripping, his co-worker’s fingertips start drawing soft circles over his knuckles.

Sam doesn’t need to force himself to focus on the sensation. His eyes hurt too much to look at the other man, or anything, really, so the attempt at keeping them shut seems like a better plan.

The bed shifts a little, but Bucky doesn’t come closer. “Breathe with me.”

He does. Attempts to gain control, make the thudding in his ears quiet, and step by step, his muscles seem to relax. First his stiff neck, then his shoulders, winding down with every breath he lets out, then the strain in his biceps fading.

After what seems like forever, the blood returns to his legs. Sam almost fears moving them, expecting them to crack, but he does, and they don’t.

This is why he decides to open his eyes, for some unknown reason in him, and lifts his gaze to look at Bucky again. He doesn’t say anything but their breathing is almost in sync now. The other man nods.

And he keeps those circling touches, never pausing, never leaving, even when Sam finally feels like he can hear his own thoughts and his heart isn’t threatening to claw its way out of his chest. Now, all he listens to is his co-worker’s breathing. Bucky’s palm is significantly sweatier than before but he shows no intention to take it back.

Sam also decides to flip his hand and meet the man’s, palm to palm. Just feels like the right thing to do.

Judging by Bucky lightly lacing their fingers together, the feeling is mutual.

At some point, with zero idea of just how long they’d been sitting there, he notices his body has seized its shaking, and the actual warmth of the room overwhelms without suffocation.

The other man seems to notice this, because he silently moves off the bed, abandoning Sam’s hand and cracks open the window to the whoosh of the wind through the leaves and distant chirping of crickets. His fingers reach up aimlessly for the missing touch until he returns.

His brain doesn’t understand why Bucky doesn’t leave then.

Their bare feet lay flush against each other. If Sam didn’t know any better, he’d say their hearts were beating in perfect harmony.

*

Bucky insists on cleaning up the table after dinner, so neither of them protest once they see the determination in his eyes.

Disappointment is what shows in both the boys’ eyes when his sister finally calls television time off, kissing both their heads with a chuckle, “Alright, time for bed, superheroes.”

Sam has to admit, he’s a little proud of his nephew when AJ tries to bargain them out of the situation. “We’ll sleep extra early tomorrow!”

“No, you won’t.”

They accept their mother’s proposal, of course, even if they sigh dramatically when Sarah finally gets them up the stairs. He has a funny feeling that stubbornness might’ve been picked up from a certain metal-armed man wandering around in the other room.

When his sister returns, she drops next to him and puts her head on his shoulder.

They take a moment to listen and enjoy the silence. Should do that more often, when he’s not in life or death situations, that is.

The tap turns on and off and on from afar, metal clangs against glass, and a muttered “Fuck.” makes its way to his ears, somehow. Sam doesn’t think his co-worker meant for anyone to hear that but himself, but he does. The feeling of Sarah’s warm cheeks and mouth forming into a smile, and then she lifts back up just enough to look him in the eyes.

“I’m glad you brought him along,” she tells him, and pats his thigh like she always does when she senses he needs assurance, even when he doesn’t feel it yet, “He’s good for you.”

His train of thought stumbles over the last part, but decides not to address it. Not yet, anyway. “He kind of showed up on his own, but alright.”

“Shut up.” his sister orders, still smiling, forehead returning to his shoulder once again.

Sam can’t make up any comeback, so he opts for putting his arm over, caressing her back with his mind absent and far away. In fact, it might be travelling into the kitchen to track the movement of Bucky, each step of the way.

He also might come to think that that’s what Sarah’s been trying to tell him.

That doesn’t make sense, though. Or he can’t really argue against it, but the saying seems out of place.

Maybe it’s got something to do with the other man finding him the other night, Sam falling back asleep with the presence of his hand and the disappearance of it in the morning. Come to think of it, it’s also got something to do with Bucky’s foot poking his own under the table while they were having breakfast. And most of all, it’s got something to do with the pleasant warmth that spreads from his chest and down to his toes whenever the other man’s figure comes into his line of sight.

Her statement isn’t out of place at all. It surprises him in a specific way that, deep down, isn’t surprising at all.

The sound of Bucky’s humming greets them, the source of his own smile.

He begins tracing circles on his sister’s back the same way the other man had done, mulling over the secret that’s uncovered, “I think you’re right.”

Sarah hums in agreement.

*

Sam knows that his sister thinks he and Bucky are a couple. And Sam knows that his feelings for the other man have changed without him even noticing, until now.

What he doesn’t really know is what to do with that information.

They’re really supposed to formulate some sort of plan, so the love confession he realises he’s harboring might be ill-timed. Besides, he honestly has no idea how Bucky’ll react, they’ve never talked about relationships or sexuality, probably because they’ve both been insisting on not being partners.

Which is untrue, obviously. Bucky wouldn’t find him and help his family out if they weren’t friends of some kind, right? A friend of a friend, in any case.

So he comes to the conclusion of keeping it as his own little secret, for now. Maybe a better time will come. A right time. Or maybe it won’t.

Either way, Sam thinks it best to let Sarah know of how they’re not, in fact, a couple once this whole thing is over. This superhero thing? This not-a-team thing? The promise of extended long vacation and, as he comes to regret saying, never seeing each other again looms over his consciousness.

You live and you learn, is that what you say?

But late after training, dinner, cleaning up that Bucky still insists on doing all by himself, Sarah long since gone to sleep, Sam finds the other man sitting on the end of his bed. The frown on his face sparks a worry in him, so he finds a seat on the desk chair, the two coming eye to eye.

“Hey,” Sam gets his attention instantly, “You good?”

Bucky blinks twice in confusion, but his tense posture seems to come and go like a lightswitch flicking on and off, relaxing under his gaze.

“Yeah… yeah, I guess. I don’t know,” and he clears his throat before ending the sentence with, “I’m sorry.”

The other man so easily makes Sam’s heart do somersaults again, over and over. He wonders if Bucky’s noticed. He also wonders if he should move over and sit next to him, but decides to watch their feet instead.

“You already apologised.” he reminds him, but his co-worker shakes his head.

“I know, but,” Bucky tries, but whatever he’s about to say is stopped with a sigh, several excruciating seconds pass by, until he takes Sam by surprise, “I just don’t feel like I’m a very good boyfriend.”

All too familiar to his sister’s observation last night, the words that sound in the bedroom don’t settle with him immediately. He feels like he must be frowning himself. 

Did he just say what he thinks he said? Sure sounded like Bucky’s voice.

And unlike last night, Sam can’t help but blurt out his process of thinking about this, a thing that’s somehow also passed right over his head, “You- you’re what now?”

That’s also when he finally stops wondering, stands up and takes his place on the bed, because the other man’s frown deepens even further, and he’d rather not they misunderstand each other further than they, clearly, already have.

“Bucky,” Sam starts, and, for some reason, he feels incredibly brave in this moment, so much so that he reaches for the man’s hand the same way he did a couple of nights ago, “Do you think we’re… a couple?”

His co-worker huffs, “I know we are.” but it sounds just as much like a question.

He also starts tracing patterns on Sam’s hand again, taking his attention and warmth rushing to his cheeks as if on cue. Bucky isn’t frowning anymore, looks confused instead.

“Well, you could’ve told me.” he replies, and despite the other man opening his mouth, continues regardless, “I’d like to have known sooner.”

The man’s fingers moving on his skin don’t falter for a second. “So… you don’t want me to be your boyfriend?”

Sam can’t stop his smile, even if it’ll pain his jaw. Not that he wants to put a stop to it, not at all.

“Bucky Barnes, you’re ridiculous,” is the conclusion that pops up in his mind, crystal clearer than anything he’s felt in his life, “There’s nothing I want more.”

[crystalkleure]

Haha hey remember that post I made awhile back, speculating on what a bad idea it might be to fuse dead things in the godless Frankenstein fossil machine

Meet White. He is a reanimated corpse. Two of them, actually. Or more like 1.5. [And I whipped up this half-assed partial reference sheet in one night instead of sleeping, so don’t look too hard at the chickenscratch lineart and visible guidelines, and kindly ignore the total lack of shading as well as any other messy jankiness.]

White is a product of me wondering not only about what happens if you NecroFuse a human with a Pokemon, but also what happens if you make it even worse and specifically fuse that human with a Pokemon capable of mega evolution. Because canon seems to imply that mega evolving is at best deeply uncomfortable -- and at worst outright agonizing -- for whatever creature is going through it.

Character Lore under the cut. Lots of text:

White is one of actually multiple undead guys who got mashed together with bits of dead Pokemon. They’re science experiments, so they've got the dex numbers of the Pokemon they're spliced with tattooed on the backs of their necks, and those numbers were treated as their names In The Evil Science Lab.

In his Original Life, White [and some of his buddies] got gored to death by some escaped Horrible Fucking Monsters that were accidentally [...and then not-so-accidentally] created via Two Pokemon At Once In A Fossil Resurrection Machine, because hey, it is SUPER easy to think you got Just One Thing's Bones from an excavation dig but then later you realize that Some Of Those Bones were from something TOTALLY different that just died in the same place. It happens. So, some Fossil Scientist People accidentally resurrected an Abomination, realized they fucked up pretty fast...and then started wondering if they REALLY fucked up or if this is Cool, Actually. And then the team of Science People split into two Morality Factions, with one half being like “This is unethical as shit, we need to make sure this doesn't happen again because it's not natural so who knows how this poor fucked up creature is suffering” and the other, cooler half being like “WE NEED TO DO THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SCIENCE. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES HOLY SHIT.”

Cooler group splits off from the Horrified Group With Morals, and they promptly use their Science Knowledge to Construct More Machines and Make More Monsters. Doesn't take too long for them to realize, however, that Abomination Pokemon are stupidly hard to control, because not only are they suffering, their masters obviously don't care for their wellbeing, so Revolt Inevitably Occurs and they escape to wreak havoc upon the nearest congregation of townspeople. They promptly maul some people to death at a nearby local rock concert, scientists chase after them to clean up the mess, realize “Oh Shit, Manslaughter Charges Impending”, and then realize...

Science Guy 1: “...Hey, what happens if you put a dead person in the fossil machine?”

Science Guy 2: “Hey, people probably listen better than Pokemon. We can, like, TALK to people.”

Science Guy 3: “Lads, I got a stellar idea just now. And we got plenty of Dead Guys to start with right here! Great way to hide the bodies too, probably.”

This goes approximately as well as you would expect, and precisely as ethically. A smashing success!

However, because they Fucking Died, the reanimated Newly-Monsterized dudes do not remember shit about who they were pre-resurrection. They're not technically even the same people, they’re more like clones. They've been remade. So, all they know now is Science Lab Life, and they have no initial attachment to eachother aside from "that other guy is also a Science Experiment Person just like me, so Same Hat @ Labrat Neighbour ig", in spite of several having been friends or even family prior to death. They also just...don’t know/remember things in general. They are fresh blank slates. And to a morally-bankrupt team of scientists, that’s perfect! They can train these guys to behave however they please!

...However, people might be People Instead Of Animals, meaning they can be Reasoned With And Manipulated And Coerced far better than animals due to their far better communication abilities with the Science People, but...there is Still A Problem in the sense that Holy Shit, A Person Can Only Take So Much. You can only treat someone as "Experiment [number]" for so long, blatantly putting no value on their life outside of The Value Of Scientific Research, in spite of literally basically needing to raise them like a normal child due to the Lack Of Memories issue. Eventually they're not gonna be able to take that anymore and they are gonna Fucking Leave, too. And they’re gonna be much harder to track down than the rampaging Pokemon were. Impossible, actually, once they’ve ripped out their tracking chips.

So then there's just these monster dudes, who don't actually know what they are because they weren't ever told anything more than necessary to get them to cooperate with Tests And Experiments, just Escaped Into Civilization and having NO idea how Anything works. Fun! Especially considering how, at first glance, these just look like Normal Dudes. Their monster bits either aren't apparent or just look like funky body modifications.

They've also got Science Things in them and they Don't Know What The Fuck Those Things Even Are. They've just got these little Devices in/on their chests, and they were never informed of the exact functions of them because there's no reason to explain to the experiment What Is Happening, just that the experiment needs to Hold Still and Cooperate and Now Do This, Now Do This, Now Do That, Good Job That's Enough For Today, etc.

Those devices contain both key stones and mega stones.

If you were a Mad Pokemon Scientist, you would most certainly be interested in the mega evolution phenomenon. What would YOU do if some of your Undead Fusion Experiments happened to be spliced with bits of Pokemon known to be capable of mega evolving? You’d kill two birds with one enigmatic set of stones, that’s what you’d do. Your Frankenstein Experiments can even TALK to you and tell you exactly what they are experiencing when you run tests on them! It’s perfect!

So, if a rock-bearing monster’s heart rate goes too high, part of the little device, which is a barrier between one type of rock and the other, opens up and Exposes One Rock To The Other Rock. Which exposes the monster to the Rock Energy Reaction. The greater the stress, the higher the dose. And I’m sure you can see the snowball effect that’s gonna create, at least the first time or two.

They were INTENDED to eventually be made to Physically Fight With Eachother to gauge the effects of The Rocks™️ when the Guys With The Rocks are under Stress and need to Do Some Self-Defense. The Science Squad was basically trying to suss out the Actual Purpose of mega evolution. Because mega evolution is weird -- it puts ENORMOUS stress on the body of whatever is undergoing it, so the hypothesis was that its true power is probably drawn out best via a perceived life-threatening situation, like it’s a type of hysterical strength, because what else would cause a need for that kind of ability. And aren’t ethics a bit overrated?

So, there’s our premise. White is just wandering around without any particular purpose outside of never ever going back to Science Hell, and he has no clue what the funny little doohickey buried in his chest does until it activates one day and absolutely fucks him up [...as well as everyone around him. Mega Absol radiate an Aura Of Sheer Terror that can literally scare people with weak hearts to death if they’re not careful.]

And now, some Miscellaneous Character Info:

The bit about Lots Of Death happening at a rock concert specifically was important. White was actually the vocalist of the band that was playing. He doesn’t remember that now, but he still loves music and has the same strong vocal cords. And THAT is important because White is partially an Absol now and Absol naturally learns Perish Song. These Fusion Monsters are absolutely capable of using Pokemon moves, though whether they’re aware of this is a different matter entirely. Imagine what happens when they end up tapping into those abilities accidentally.

That band was a relatively-unknown little local band. White was by no means anywhere near famous. Very few people even realized he was gone, and most of the ones who would have noticed also ended up Equally Unalive.

That black stuff between the belts on White’s arms is mesh. Like, stocking mesh. It gets Ripped The Fuck Apart when he goes Mega Mode and his arm fur gets Extra Spiky. Hence one stocking being a bit tattered in that reference pic. He frequently has to replace those things, they are fragile.

“How did White get his name if he doesn’t remember his original name and didn’t have a real name in the lab” I am glad you asked! Post-escape, he eventually encountered a situation where someone asked him what his name was, he bluntly told them “I don’t have one. I am #359.”, they said “Well That Is Not A Name, I need something proper to call you”, and he was just...Super Apathetic. So, the other person picked out the name “White” just based on the fact that White’s hair is white, and he just shrugged and rolled with it.

As you can see in my Incredibly Quick And Rough Sketches, the backs of White’s shirts are open to accommodate that huge amount of fur that bristles out into false wings when he goes Mega Mode. Because his Actual Normal Hair is relatively long and overlaps with that fur, it blends in with his Actual Normal Hair and doesn’t look too odd [when it’s down]. Probably mostly because nobody’s expecting it to be anything OTHER than Perfectly Normal Hair That Just Happens To Be Very Long.

White does not particularly like violence. White does not want to beat you up. He will, though, without a bit of hesitation, if there’s some logical reason he feels like it’s the most practical course of action. Being essentially raised by Cold, Emotionally-Sterile Scientists With No Care For The Wellbeing Other Living Beings uh, tends to affect a guy a little bit. White has a bit of an internal dilemma regarding “It would be efficient for me to just Harm This Other Person to defuse the current situation, because attempting nonviolence will be overall more risky somehow” vs. “Holy shit it feels bad when I hurt people. Why does it feel bad when I hurt people. Is it...SUPPOSED to feel bad when I hurt people?? No one ever felt bad for hurting me.” He Figures Out How Empathy Works Eventually. He is a good guy at heart. He is a Monotone Snarker, but not actually Cold or Malicious at all.

If an Absol can do it, White can probably do it. He has incredibly keen senses and a STRONG ability to Detect Impending Doom. He has exactly the amount of Supernatural Absol Powers you would expect. He is also stupidly physically strong, way more so than he appears to be.

White can’t punch people. Look at the fist he’s making in the pic, he’s doing it wrong. If you punch someone like that, you WILL break your own thumb. That’s not a Revving Up To Sock Someone pose, he’s just tense. He’s using his thumb as a buffer between his long-ass Sharp As Fuck claws and the flesh of his palm. If White tries to punch anybody, or just makes a proper fist at all, he will impale his own hand on his nails. Like, all the way through. He CAN slash straight through things like metal and bone with those claws, though.

White...is unsettling. Completely accidentally, and unknowingly. He just radiates an Aura Of Intimidation [...or Pressure], even when not in Mega Mode, that scales depending on his mood. Just being near him tends to put people and Pokemon on edge. Thus, he’s generally avoided.

The latter point is especially unfortunate, because White’s preferred method of Socializing and Bonding is to just kind of quietly hang out in the same room as whoever he is trying to Socialize and Bond with. He just wants to, like...chill out Near A Buddy and watch a movie and share a bag of chips or something. His social skills are predictably not good.

[basket-of-radiants]

now that you've decided what nightblood is we can finally have the domestic au of ur dreams: two asshole roommates, their preteen children who won't stop bugging them, and their cat. and all those other losers i guess maybe

Oh my god, I was going through my very old asks, and how could I have missed this, this is literally the best thing ever, you’re right this is the domestic au of my dreams. Alright, here we go, a disaster family comprised of Szeth, Nale, Lift, Nightblood, and a cat. Actually a dog and two cats. Everyone’s backstory is basically the same, but they’re all retired now except for Nale. (And yes those other losers definitely all exist in this au, let me know who you care about.) 

If you’ll permit me to crib off of wtnv for a moment, Nale works for a vague yet menacing government agency wherein he has full authority to carry out whatever actions he deems necessary with zero oversight. He still works through legitimate bureaucratic channels whenever the need arises, but he has contacts in pretty much every institution willing to expedite paperwork for him with zero questions asked, and Nale has figured out that he can do pretty much anything legally so long as he knows what forms to ask for. He does. He’s basically memorized the entire legal code and memorized every obscure law and loophole in existence. Some didn’t think it literally possible for a brain to hold that much information, but he impresses. Nale’s actual job description is similarly unknown, but whatever it was before, it has unfortunately morphed into parole officer for a hitman, a thief, and a child with a criminal record that claims he’s a mass-murderer.

Szeth’s story is about what you’d expect. He knows a dozen languages and a hundred ways to kill a man. No one knows anything about him aside from the mysterious “assassin in white” suspected of carrying out multiple terrorist attacks and high-profile assassinations. I dunno, Szeth killed JFK or did 9/11 or some shit, wait no those aren’t modern enough examples, but he’s done some shit with that level of publicity and conspiracy. The kinds of crimes he pulls off are seemingly impossible to both perform and survive all the while escaping without his identity being revealed. He’s probably got a massive following in the serial killer fandom. Szeth lives his life following anonymous instructions sent to him remotely, and he keeps texting back for them to please stop making him do these things, and they don’t stop. He hates himself and wants to die, and he can’t for the life of himself figure out why no one’s stopped him yet. If only he weren’t such a criminal genius. One time he almost died and it was great, but then he woke up in a hospital to see a man and a kid waiting for him. Nale explained that he’d mined the data off of Szeth’s phone and knew everything about him, and complimented his criminal efficiency and his capability to follow orders so precisely. Basically he’d like to offer him a job. Szeth is like “wait seriously” because he’s still a murderer and Nale explains that from his phone history it’s clear that Szeth himself never had bad intentions, and it’s the thought that counts. Nale offers him a deal wherein Szeth will remain in his custody for a duration and work for him in exchange for no other legal recourse. His idea is to eventually make Szeth a field agent for his institution’s mysterious purposes, but for the time being Szeth really isn’t fit for that, so for the time being all he has to do is look after the kid.

Nale had intentionally sought out Szeth. (Everyone had, but he’d gotten to him first.) Lift on the other hand was a pure accident. After her mother died, Lift was resistant to entering the system, and so she hid from the government, surviving off of stealing food and clothes. When she got older, her shoplifting got a bit more bold. On her streets Lift is a legendary skater as well as being a pretty good thief. She and Nale crossed paths by accident, and she tried to steal his wallet without realizing who he was. Unfortunately she didn’t have her board on her at the time to do some sweet moves and then get out of dodge. He arrested her on the spot, but unfortunately his jurisdiction is different from that of normal police, and he had to file additional paperwork before he could hand her off to the local authorities. He took her to one of his local offices and handcuffed her to his desk while he filled out the papers. She kept making a bunch of requests for food and was so annoying about it that he acquiesced. Talking with her mouth full all the while, Lift completely dismantled his current psychological state, reduced him to tears, and hugged him, by which point he was a bit too attached to her to just arrest her. Still, she was a criminal whose whole lifestyle revolved around stealing, so he couldn’t just let her go, but he made her a deal and offered to take her into his personal custody instead of handing her over to the system. Lift was confident that it wouldn’t be too hard to run away from one person, and besides, it’d be funny to see how high she could get his grocery bills.

Nighblood is a pre-teen kid whose record ties him to hundreds of murders, none of which seem to be provable however. Nightblood mostly talks a lot and plays a lot of video games. Nale briefly looked into his past after he found him, but overall was too busy with his vague yet menacing government work to really focus on him. He decided it was best to keep the kid close, however. He didn’t have the time for babysitting either, but he would figure something out. Upon picking up Szeth, he found he was not psychologically fit for field work whatsoever, so he found another way to makes him useful while he was recovering. Nightblood also can’t move very well on his own, so Szeth has to stay with him at all times.

On the streets, there had been a dog that always followed Lift around. It was easily frightened by everything, and it would whine at her whenever she did something dangerous, but it always came back to her. Additionally, there is a cat that is incredibly shy and is pretty much only ever seen from afar, or off in a tree, or under something. For some reason Szeth refers to it as his cat. Nale apparently has a cat too, but no one has ever seen it, and he really doesn’t seem like an animal person, so it’s sort of hard to believe it actually exists.

Nale put up Szeth, Lift, and Nightblood up in his flat. Due to the mysterious nature of his work, he has to travel a lot, so typically it’s just Szeth and the kids. Szeth and Nightblood are always together, of course, because Nale said they had to be. Szeth will talk about his problems and Nightblood will show him the game he’s currently playing and will say “that’s really sad Szeth, but watch me do this cool move and destroy all these evil guys!” They talk a lot, that’s basically all they do these days. They’re both very fond of Lift, but she is understandably creeped out by two murderers, and she sneaks out of the house all the time. For her, yes her housemates are super messed up, but Nale stocks a lot of really good food and is barely ever around, so so long as she seems to be present and to be staying out of trouble, she can actually do as much trouble as she wants so long as she’s clever about it. One time as she’s sneaking out, she notices Szeth staring at her and she panics for a bit, but he’s like “no you can do what you want, I literally don’t care.” That ingratiates him slightly to her, so she does try to have conversations with him. He’s such a mess though. Nightblood offers to show her his video games, Lift is like “you think that’s cool, come outside and watch this” and then she does a flip on her skateboard or something. Nightblood has idolized her ever since.

When Nale is around, Lift bothers the hell out of him while Szeth follows him around doing pretty much whatever he asks of him while Nightblood keeps tugging on Szeth’s clothes and whispering questions to him. Ever since that first time with Lift, Nale has been unflinchingly stoic, but he lets Lift do whatever she wants and gives her anything she asks for. The same is true for Szeth and Nightblood as well, although Szeth tends not to make unreasonable requests, and whenever Nightblood is about to, Szeth whispers to him that maybe he shouldn’t bother Nale about it. So instead Nightblood bothers Szeth to ask Nale about it. Lift is just having fun exploiting this setup for all it’s worth. They’re all incredibly familiar with each other.

Basically this ends up as Nale being a super important government person with an unlimited budget which he ends up using to indefinitely house three criminals. Also in this au, Nale wears a suit, Szeth wears a hoodie, and Lift wears a baseball cap.

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

This is not precisely fiction/prompted, but @gwogobo had a prompt that sparked something a bit more meta/explainy than actually written out.  Partially bc we’re still RPing it out to begin with, we just know where it’s ending. XD

yen - TELL US ABOUT HER TRIAD. i am so about the happenings of solid poly relationships WHEN. HOW. DAILY ANECDOTES RELATING BACK TO HOW THEY DID THEIR THEM THING.

OKAY SO.  I will start by saying that this triad took some very very loose inspiration from Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, which is why there’s also a Dandelion involved in it, but really their dynamics are only loosely similar at most.

So I need to start with Caileann, because he is the reason they all ended up in the same place to begin with.  This is not short, but the way they ended up together is complicated and sweet.

So his mother was turned to a worgen out in Silverpine, and at some point she got knocked up while they were all feral, or something like that.  Caileann is not my character, you’d want to ask Birdie for more deets on THAT.  The point being not only did the local human village lie and say “oh his mother definitely fucked a wolf and that’s how she got pregnant” (no, and impossible), but they basically took this feral child and imprinted the mental structures of SOMEONE ELSE WHO WAS DEAD in his head in an attempt to give that person a second chance at life, essentially.  It didn’t work, but it did put certain structures in his head to allow him to understand and speak languages, to fight, and know basic civilization things, at least loosely.  When he stayed himself and not this other person, it was like “oh well” and put a compulsion on him to stay and protect the village even though they hated him and made him live in a cave outside of town and were generally DEEPLY ABUSIVE AWFUL DICKS to him.  

But he was a big sweetie at heart, which bard/rogue Dandelion (a vulpera) found out when he was tracking some possible Forsaken activity in Silverpine on behalf of Warchief Baine Bloodhoof.  They ran into each other, Caileann let Dandy come out of the rain into his cave, and Dandy kind of fell hard and fast for this kind, amazing man who was being treated like shit, and when he went back to the Warchief to report he also talked about “hey I can maybe go around encouraging peace, maybe even outright cooperation between Horde and Alliance, through my songs and also y’know, working closely with this worgen, since he’s alliance and i’m Horde, and you and King Anduin could give us papers allowing us to be in the other faction’s lands and shit?” and Baine was like “yeah ok” and wrote to Anduin who was like “yeah ok” and so Dandy needed to get back to Silverpine (really out of the way, for someone from the Horde) so he could convince Caileann to come with him.

So instead of taking the long way around he started looking for a mage to open a portal, and that’s how he found Yen.  She’s technically a void elf, which is a weird sort of subrace of blood/high elves who use void magic and are attached to the Alliance for various reasons, but like.  She was a blood elf first.  She had natural connections to/inclinations towards void magic, even before it became A Thing in WoW, and she got treated like shit for it for a long time, but she was Horde until the whole “void elf” thing became a thing.  So because she is clearly a void elf in appearance, due to the effects of void magic, she can pass through Alliance lands, and a hood or a small glamour would allow her to pass for a normal blood elf in Horde lands, so she’s kind of perfectly situated to work cross-faction.  So Dandy hired her because of her portals and shit, and she’s like “fuck yes I’m broke bc people are freaked out by me so I’m IN” but then she met Caileann too and it was like.  She was still determined to get paid but she got very personally invested in getting Caileann out of Silverpine, at least.

SO ESSENTIALLY they became a thing bc Caileann was treated like shit, Dandy met him and fell in love and wanted to give him a way out, and hired Yen to help him do that.  And over time they just... grew on each other, until they ended up together.

We’re still pretty early in developing their relationship, but basically the three of them are travelling around, helping people out where they can to forge goodwill between the factions, and Dandy is spreading a song he wrote that was largely about Caileann but was also very much about the Horde and Alliance working together, and the tragedy of the Forsaken being abandoned by their queen who they thought had cared about them, and wouldn’t it be better if we helped each other, etc.  They’re essentially a little walking propaganda machine, but like.  GOOD propaganda.  Helpful, peace-encouraging propaganda.  

And Yen is able to stop pretending she’s only out for herself, at least with them, and Dandy is able to have these two people that he actually is devoted to (he’d had some issues back in the caravans causing trouble by being poly and also not super invested in serious relationships) but who also would probably not hate him for not always only just being with then, and Caileann gets these two people who treat him kindly, and gently, and like a person, and who build him up as best they can.

And Yen is perfectly delighted by her furry boyfriends because she never much understood the feelings of “but they’re so animalistic” that some people had regarding the furred races.  She’s frankly into it.  (Yen is a fuckin furry let’s just say it)  But she’s very defensive of their personhood, too, so woe betide the person who calls Caileann a dog, or says that Dandy looks like a precious little toy, because she will cut a bitch.  (and they love *her* even though she’s all voidy and terrifying, which does wonders for her not hating herself, so it works out)

They are good and sweet and precious, and I love them very much.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 265

Last time, Majin Buu got his ass kicked by Gohan, so he blew himself up and came back an hour later.... to challenge Gotenks instead.    No one knows why he would want to do this, but Goten and Trunks insist on taking him on, and Gohan doesn’t seem very firm about stopping them.

Meanwhile, some flesh off of Buu’s back has sloughed off and is slithering around among all the rocks, but that probably doesn’t mean anything...

So there’s a few things at play here.   First of all, no one gives Buu any credit for intelligence.   He’s demonstrated on more than one occasion that he’s smarter than he lets on.   The problem is that the characters who know that aren’t around to warn the boys.   Babidi got killed, and Goku’s stuck in Otherworld.  The Supreme Kai’s been warning anyone who will listen not to underestimate Buu, but no one’s ever listened to him on this point.  

Of course, Goten and Trunks’ immaturity plays into this as well.    They take Buu’s challenge at face value, and wonder why he’d ask for something so stupid.   It never occurs to them that maybe he’s asking to fight Gotenks precisely because it isn’t stupid at all, so maybe they shouldn’t play into his hands like this.  

What’s really dumb about this is that Buu made it pretty clear in the last episode that he was never in any real danger of losing his last battle with Gotenks.    He only kept fighting so he’d have something to do while he waited for Gohan to show up.   Gotenks knows this, but he doesn’t seem to care.

Finally, and most crucially, why is Gohan just standing around letting this unfold.    He knows it’s risky to let Gotenks fight instead, but when they complain, he just yields the floor and lets them fight in his place.   What was the point of getting that power up from the Old Kai if he wasn’t going to deal with Buu himself?   Why isn’t he attacking Buu right now, instead of standing there like a dope waiting for Buu to make his move?

It’s inexperience, pure and simple.   Gohan dominated Buu in their last encounter, and he probably figures that there’s no harm in letting Gotenks go first.    If the kid loses, Gohan can step in to help, right?  

I’d ask why Piccolo doesn’t object to any of this, but he had a nervous breakdown three or four episodes ago, so who can blame the guy?  The only one who does suspect something’s up is Bee.   I guess he can smell deception in the air?   Anyway, no one listens to him because he’s a dog.

So he has to run towards the fight and show them what he’s seen, but by then it’s too late.

Suddenly, the pieces of Buu’s body jump on Piccolo and Gotenks and envelop them...

Then they recombine with Buu, apparently infusing Piccolo and Gotenks into his body somehow.

Look, I don’t want to be too hard on Gohan, but this is EXACTLY HOW CELL TRICKED HIM SEVEN YEARS AGO.   Gohan was stronger than Cell, and he could beat him senseless without even trying, and then Cell revealed that he had a power Gohan couldn’t stop with punching.   Yeah, Gohan had no idea he could do this, but why did he let Buu live long enough to demonstrate this kind of ability.    In theory, he has the power to kill Buu with a single Kamehameha.    If he doesn’t, then there was no point in sending him down here, but if he does, then he should have just done that two episodes back.

Incidentally, why didn’t the Supreme Kai tell anyone about this?   We haven’t gotten to that episode yet, but later, he’ll explain how he’s seen Buu absorb people before, so it seems kind of odd that he didn’t anticipate this, or warn Gohan about it.   

When the process is complete, Buu has Gotenks’s Fusion vest, a longer tentacle, and a nose.    Also, he talks more eloquently.   This form is sometimes referred to as “Super Buu 2″.   I think I’ve seen “Buutenks” used before, but that sounds kind of dumb.  

Buu declares himself to be the “Mightiest Majin”, which is a line I’ve never understood.   Throughout this story, characters have referred to him as a “Majin”, as if he were one of a group of other Majin, and I’m pretty sure it’s just a word Toriyama made up for this story.   It’s supposed to be a portmanteau of “ma”, the Japanese word for “evil” and “djinn”, or “genie”.   Are there other Majins?  Does Buu know of any besides himself?  Wasn’t he already stronger than any of them to begin with?

Anyway, this whole development reveals a crucial flaw in any anti-Buu strategy.   As powerful as Majin Buu is, it’s not enough to just match him in strength.  If he runs into anyone strong enough to defeat him, he’ll just absorb that guy, or however many other guys he need to in order to stay on top.   It almost feels like this is some overriding aspect of Buu’s nature, like Bibidi programmed this into him.  

So why didn’t Buu just absorb Gohan, since he’s the strongest one.   Ah, but Buu wanted to have someone to fight once he increased his power.   There’s an element of risk to this plan, because Buu’s power-up is mostly contributed by Gotenks, and the fusion will expire soon.   That’s why Buu waited an hour before coming back to pull this stunt.   He didn’t want to absorb Gotenks back in Episode 262, because he didn’t know how much longer they would last.   This way, he got them right after they fused, so he has the full time at his disposal, however short it is.   

Even so, he has to beat Gohan before that time runs out.   It probably would have been smarter to just absorb Gohan, but Buu loves a good fight too much to pass this up.    Besides, he can always absorb Gohan later.

Seriously, why did anyone think Toriyama was going to make Gohan the main character?   More to the point, why did anyone want Gohan to become the main character?  

Let me back up and explain that for anyone who didn’t know about the story.   Years ago, there was this legend that Toriyama planned to make Gohan the protagonist of the Buu arc, but fans in Japan sent him death threats or something, demanding that he bring Goku back, so he changed the ending.  Kanzenshuu.com has a pretty thorough article debunking this rumor, but the quick version is that Toriyama did plan on Gohan taking the lead, then changed his mind at some point, because he felt Gohan wasn’t suited for the role.  

I’m pretty sure the rumor only got started because of wishful thinking and changed premises.    There was a time, however brief, where Toriyama made it clear that he was making Gohan inherit the role from Goku.    And then Goku came back anyway.    The simplest explanation is that he changed his mind, but I think fans have trouble accepting the possibility of authors calling an audible in the middle of a story.   They like to imagine that the story exists fully-formed in the creator’s mind, and any inconsistencies or changes are due to outside influences.   When Gohan got sidelined from the Buu Saga, it was easier for fans to believe that there was some sort of conspiracy at work.    Either Toriyama’s editor made him change it, or Toei pressured him to bring the more marketable Goku back, or misguided Japanese fans coerced him into rewriting the story.  

My take on this is that the situation looks pretty obvious when you watch the show.   Maybe I shouldn’t say “obvious”, because when I first watched the Buu Saga, I kept obsessively checking Funimation.com’s episode list to see what would happen in upcoming installments, and I knew that Goku and Vegeta would somehow return, use fusion, and fight Buu themselves.  And that was the main event, as far as I was concerned.   For my money, the whole point of this fusion business was to see Goku and Vegeta use it, so what do we need Gohan for?  

But besides that, what exactly is the alternate scenario here if Gohan remained the protagonist?   Presumably, we’d get this far, I would think.   Gohan is too much for Super Buu, so he absorbs Piccolo and Gotenks to give our hero a greater challenge.   And it’s not an impossible task.    If Gohan can hold out until Gotenks’ fusion expires, he’ll have the advantage again.

But then what?    Do Goku and Vegeta come back to help him anyway?  Does Gohan journey into Buu’s body to rescue his pals, or does he just kill Super Buu and wait four months on an empty planet to wish everyone back to life?   Does Kid Buu ever factor into any of this?  

These aren’t insignificant questions.    I get the impression that anyone who believes that Toriyama changed the story because of fan pressure or editorial pressure or whatever, they believe this because they’re huge Gohan fans who resent him getting a raw deal.    Or they just don’t care for the Buu Saga in general, and they like the idea that there’s a better version floating around in Toriyama’s brain, or maybe even scribbled into a notebook.   Basically, they’re just rejecting this story, the one we got, and they’re clinging to a potentially better story that probably doesn’t exist.   

But I think that’s unfair.   It’s easy to say that an imaginary comic is better than the one that saw print.   It’s completely safe from criticism, because no one can read it, and no one can say for certain what is and isn’t in it.   So my question to the Gohan-truthers is: What was supposed to have happened instead?   How does Gohan being in the lead and beating Buu improve anything?    Because the way I see it, the story we got kicks ass. 

This part of it?   Not so much.   This is just Super Buu dominating Gohan for three episodes.   That wouldn’t be such a bad thing, except that we’ve been getting a steady diet of Majin Buu steamrolling everyone this whole time.    Hell, this isn’t even the first time he’s beaten Gohan.    It’s just taking a little longer tis time, that’s all. 

What does work is that this new development only adds to the burden on Goku’s conscience.    He was the one who insisted on staying dead, that he was the one putting the Earth in harm’s way, and that Gohan could protect the world better than he ever could.    He was the one who taught the boys the fusion technique, and assured his wife that they would be more than powerful enough to stop Buu and save the world.   And none of it is working.  

For me, that’s the most compelling thing about this leg of the story.    There was a period where, yeah, it looked like Goku was going to stay dead, by choice, and for keeps this time.    And everyone was comfortable that he was making the right decision.    But this arc is revealing that Goku was wrong.  He never should have left, and the world now suffers for his mistake.   

That’s a sort of pathos that Gohan just can’t grasp.   He’s a good character and maybe you could make him the protagonist of some other story, but he’ll never be quite as compelling as his father.    These are fictional characters, after all.   Gohan can’t just inherit his father’s qualifications as a heroic archetype.   Goku’s an alien refugee who grew up in the woods.    He’s an outsider to everyone, and somehow he keeps making miracles happen.   He has friends and family, but he never quite feels like he belongs.   He has a restlessness to him, and a profound modesty.   That’s why he was so sure that staying dead and trusting his sons to carry on in his stead was the right call.   He just blithely assumed others could do the things he did.   But he’s lightning in a bottle.   The Legendary Super Saiyan.   Others can learn to imitate his powers, or even surpass him in strength, but that still doesn’t change the fact that there’s something special about him. 

Let me blow your mind with a crackpot theory of my own.   I think Toriyama changed his mind about making Gohan the main character pretty early on.   A lot earlier than people may think.    Goku died in Episode 188, but he continued to appear in the show all the way up to Episode 199.   And then... he returned in Episode 205, to tell Gohan that he would return to Earth for the tournament.     From there on, the whole story revolved around Goku.   Everyone wanted to see Goku again, and even though Gohan was still in the lead role for a few more episodes, all he was interested in was hanging out with his dad. 

To put this in terms of the manga, Gohan’s first chapter as the main character was #421, published on May 11, 1993.    The chapter where Goku announced his return was #426, published on June 15, 1993.   Goku’s actual return to the comics happened in Chapter 430, published July 13, 1993.   From there, he remained a fixture in the manga until it concluded two years later.  

My point here is that Goku never really went away.   He was absent from the Namek Saga longer than he was absent from the post-Cell Games era.  In-universe, yes, he’d been dead for seven years, but for us, the audience, we basically flashed forward right up to the point where he returns.    My suspicion is that Toriyama tried telling new stories with Gohan and Videl in Satan City, got frustrated with it, and decided to bring back Goku after about a month.   But fans who took Gohan-as-protagonist as a guarentee, they assumed that Goku was returning as a supporting character, and he would eventually leave and let Gohan have the reins again.    When that didn’t happen, they assumed foul play.  

Anyway, Super Buu is clobbering Gohan at will.   If Goku doesn’t save him, who will?   Tien?   Pfft, yeah right, like Tien’s gonna... oh, wait.  

[galionne-vibin]

With my Guidance - Chapter 1: First Companions

Title: With my Guidance

Main Characters: Rodan, King Ghidorah

Summary: There were many things Rodan never expected to happen. Learning that Ghidorah had in fact survived his battle against Godzilla was one. Finding out he had done so by reverting to a hatchling was another. Becoming an impromptu mentor for said hatchling was a third. And yet, all it took was a single night for all three scenarios to become reality.

Read on AO3 or below

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So here’s the first chapter to my first ever Godzilla fic! It’s super cheesy with next to no drama, but I hope it’s still enjoyable!

—

It was a cool, cloudless night over Boston. The city ruins still stood tall, somehow, gutted skyscrapers threatening to topple over at the slightest push. It had been a few weeks since the grand battle between the king of monsters and his three-headed rival had taken place, annihilating the entire city. No human had yet dared to return to the devastated area due to the radioactive fallout. There wasn’t a single living being for miles around.

… That was, except for the colossal bird-like creature rummaging through the debris.

The winged titan was letting out low, gentle caws as it pushed aside broken wooden beams, singed cement chunks and shards of glass with its beak.

Rodan didn’t know precisely what had drawn him back to these cursed battlegrounds. After everything that had taken place there ; after everything he had been through in just a few days ; it seemed more likely he would simply disappear into another volcano and hibernate for a century or two. And, truth be told, that was his original plan. Once Godzilla had dismissed the assembly of titans, Rodan had flown away and made himself a new nest in Fiji’s Mount Taveuni volcano as Isla de Mara was now a dying wasteland. The inhabitants had watched, in slight anguish and awe, as the Fire Demon built itself a new refuge on their land. Once the work was done Rodan had plunged right into the bubbling pool of magma and let the heat take away the many aches and pains crippling his exhausted body. Ghidorah had left many deep scars on him ; burns from his gravity beam, slashes and scratches from his claws, bite marks… But the wound that kept burning and aching no matter what Rodan did was the stab wound he had received from Mothra’s stinger.

Oh, he deserved it. He knew he did.

Part of him was still having a hard time believing he had actually fought with the queen ; that he had attacked her… He had joined Ghidorah willingly, that was a fact. It was his and every other titan’s role to obey the alpha. At the time he thought he would just remain on standby and wait for Godzilla’s inevitable return ; that he’d wait it out and not cause more trouble. But there was something… Something instinctive that made him act out under Ghidorah’s command. Suddenly every order the new king gave was his personal mission to accomplish. It sent his mind into an unmanageable frenzy, his body bubbling with excitement, adrenaline and a desire to strike. It would have been easy to dismiss his loss of control as being born from his fear of Ghidorah, or maybe even the new Alpha’s powerful, dominant aura taking him over. But Rodan knew he couldn’t pin everything on the three-headed monster. It wasn’t that easy. He’d let himself go as well… He’d let himself go when he should have fought back. Had he tried, he might have been able to resist his influence. Instead he let go and allowed his newfound lust to kill to take him over.

Yeah… He deserved to be stabbed. He just hoped the Queen would be able to forgive him.

Rodan felt a sudden twinge in his gut and moved to another pile of rubble.

It wasn’t the first time he’d felt something like that- in fact these odd twinges had been occurring for a few days now and were part of what had made him leave his volcano. He had tried to ignore them at first, thinking they might just be stemming from his wounds and general malaise. But they had continued, accompanied by a growing feeling of urgency ; and became so strong he ended up leaving the comfort of his nest to go wherever his gut feeling would take him. This was how, after a few hours, he ended up landing back in Boston. He couldn’t help the dreadful feeling creeping in the back of him mind. Something felt… Wrong about the situation, but he couldn’t stop himself from digging. It was as though he knew he was about to uncover something terrible ; but something that needed to be uncovered nonetheless…

He took a step back and scratched at the scorched debris with his talons, removing another layer of dirt. He dipped his head again and pushed more rubble to the side, unearthing a heavy slab of concrete which haphazardly rested over two crushed vehicles. The twinge in his gut suddenly grew so strong it was almost nauseating ; and the sense of urgency that had been gnawing at his mind rushed back to him, hitting him with full force to the point where he was almost lightheaded.

 Right there.

Rodan found himself trembling with anticipation as he lowered his head, pressing his horns against the cold concrete and pushing with all his strength. The metal scratched and screeched under the moving weight, sending sparks flying everywhere. Rodan groaned and huffed, taking a step back before headbutting the slab one last time, toppling it over. A thick cloud of dust and ashes rose from the ground, masking the area and making the titan cough and retch loudly, shaking his head vigorously. After a few minutes however the cloud finally settled, and suddenly he saw it.

A minuscule, trembling heap of golden scales ; covered in a grimy layer of soil and soot.

“No…”

Hesitantly, the pterosaur brushed the tip of his beak over the scales, waiting for a reaction. Almost immediately the small creature shifted and let out a soft whimper, opening its wings and uncovering its body- as well as all three of its little heads.

“Ghidorah-?!”

Rodan stumbled back with a strangled cry of surprise. For a moment he wondered if maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him ; if maybe he was hallucinating… But no. No matter how much he shook his head or blinked, the minuscule hydra was still there. Clear as day. The pterosaur took a moment to compose himself before leaning closer to inspect it. The three heads, the golden scales, the two tails… There was no doubt about it ; this truly was Ghidorah… Even the scent was the same- albeit not as overpowering. Rodan sat down as he kept staring at it, still in disbelief.

Granted, Ghidorah surviving the assault wasn’t a complete impossibility. Most titans were not only incredibly resilient, they also had astonishing regeneration capabilities which usually tied into whichever energy or element gave them their life force. In Godzilla’s case it was radioactivity, in Rodan’s it was fire and heat. Should they be mortally wounded, being bathed in these elements would bring them enough energy to repair their bodies. There had in fact been a few times before where Rodan had returned from the brink of death by simply diving into an active volcano or lying down in the middle of a forest fire and absorbing the flames. Mothra herself had an even more complex ability the volcanic kaiju still didn’t fully understand. All he knew was that it involved her reverting to her larval stage one way or another after ‘death’ and going through the whole maturation process again. In a way, something not too dissimilar from what he had here…

The question now, though, was what was he supposed to do?

What was he supposed to do?! This was Ghidorah ; Godzilla’s lifelong rival and the titan who had attempted to destroy the entire planet- and now he was back. He couldn’t just leave him there! His first thought was to simply call over the king to let him deal with the situation. After all, this was his job ; he could take care of it. But then again…

Rodan looked down at the hatchling. It was chirping and squeaking softly, curling its wings back around itself as it shivered in the cooling air. It was tiny ; barely over 3 feet long without the tails and didn’t yet seem able to hold either of its heads off of the ground. Its eyes seemed to remain closed as well. And it looked so weak and fragile… Just a snap of the larger titan’s beak and he could crush all of its little bones-

Rodan winced and shook his head as he felt a sudden wave of unease wash over him. The image that had flashed through his mind was… Distressing, to say the least. He wasn’t sure why however- he’d had no qualms about killing smaller creatures (such as humans) before. But this tiny hatchling felt different… Watching it squirm on the ground and struggle to keep warm brought forth a new assortment of emotions the Fire Demon had never experienced before. He knew this was Ghidorah ; The Destroyer of Worlds ; yet he somehow couldn’t bring himself to harm the tiny hydra…

As he pondered about the situation he began unconsciously stepping away from the hatchling, mumbling to himself. But just as he got a few feet away, he suddenly felt a twinge in his gut again. This time however it was also accompanied by a soft sound and as he turned around, he saw the hydra was chirping in his direction and seemed to be looking for him. The winged kaiju blinked a few times, before hesitantly approaching the hatchling.

“Did you just… Call out to me?”

The small hydra didn’t answer as it was probably too young to even understand the titans’ spoken language, but Rodan had little doubt that’s exactly what had happened- and suddenly it all clicked. The twinges, the urgency to fly back here… The little one had been calling out to him through the hivemind titans all shared ; and somehow Rodan had heard it from the other side of the world. And not only that, but it had called him specifically… Rodan, the lonely king on a lonely mountain…

He opened a wing and delicately set it over the small kaiju, blanketing him comfortably against the cool nocturnal breeze. The three heads cooed softly as they blindly nuzzled closer to each other and the sight brought a comforting feeling to the pterosaur as he looked down at them. The hatchling had called out to him specifically… Because he was Ghidorah’s only companion. Rodan closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. He still remembered the extra-terrestrial kaiju telling him about his plight- being born on a dying planet with no choice but to flee ; never finding a world that wouldn’t attempt to kill or enslave him… Hope to find a new home turned into fear. Fear turned into despair. Despair turned into anger. Anger turned into overflowing, destructive rage…

Destructive rage turned into a vital need to annihilate.

It still surprised Rodan how easily the false king had trusted him with this tale. Maybe it was because he was about to burn down the planet anyway. Maybe it was to get things off his chest. Maybe it was to sway his new servant even further to his side with a sob story. Or maybe he knew they both led lonely existences ; and maybe (just maybe) he trusted Rodan just enough to understand… To be his second in command and first companion in destruction…

It was a tempting thought ; believing someone would put this much trust in him after all these years of solitude. As the last of his species and the lowest step in the titan hierarchy (even more so now), fighting by Ghidorah’s side had been an incredibly invigorating experience. It made him feel in control, powerful ; like he did matter at least a little bit on this vast, ever-changing planet.

All this because for just a moment, he wasn’t alone in the world anymore…

Because Ghidorah was there.

Rodan sighed deeply as he stood up. He’d made his decision. It was certainly one he was going to regret sooner or later… But for now, at least, it was clear what he had to do.

He looked over to the hatchling and saw it was fast asleep. With as much caution as he could he leaned back on one foot and slowly, delicately closed the talons of his other foot around it before gently lifting it off the ground. He made sure it was safely nestled in before taking off, keeping that leg closer to his body to keep it warm.

It was going to be a long flight home…

[migleefulmoments]

There, I fixed it for you.

My Manifesto by @ajw720

  Nonnie Anon, fact, I need for D to be is closeted.  People Darren can deny it for the remainder of their his lives life, but it doesn’t his label does make him straight.  And that fact alone-that I do not understand how sexual identification and labels work- is sad and is a total injustice.  But I am going to answer this from the perspective that the closeting is a fact and how was it handled vs. how it could have been handled- aka how my fantasy could have played out.

When I see pics of D from the G/lee days, particularly pre her move, he is precisely what you say, a ball of sunshine. His smile is bright and infectious. He was a bright light, talking for hours about the things he loves. Sigh...I am in love He was young and not jaded by fame nor did he have a private life and love to protect. He was  “straight” was a part of the narrative, but it was a footnote, barely pushed.  Yes, she was in the background, but not in the spotlight. I believed Darren was straight back then so I didn’t pay any attention to questions about his sexuality or his lover. Present to make him straight-because he identifies as straight- but not overbearing. His girlfriend lived across the country and their relationship was new so he didn’t talk about her in interviews. His sexuality was commented on, but not incessantly. in almost every interview he gave in those early years. This is how you handle closeting, you don’t make it a focus and allow the subtly to speak for itself according to me because I’m a closeting expert.  Especially when the individual closeted clearly doesn’t want to hide his/her sexuality, which has been clear from the beginning as he has clearly and consistently said he is straight as early as a 2009 interview. D has done absolutely nothing to suggest he is not straight rebelled against it repeatedly and has attempted on numerous occasions to come out  at least in my head 

That is the version of D that people I fell in love with and that is what i believe is the real my fantasy d. And this fantasy version of D, since Season 4 starting when they moved her to LA, has been almost completely erased, meaning I have to work REALLY SUPER hard to make him seem real.  It happened slowly, the shift and changes were small at first-as one does in a new relationship-, but suddenly she became a part of the conversation, acknowledged as his gf, and by his side constantly-as one does in a relationship as it progresses from first meeting to dating to love They  She not only moved her to LA but put her got a job on the set of G/lee to act as a babysitter because it was in her field and commiserate with her experience.  And concurrent with her move was the introduction of W and the complete public break down of the CC friendship and this is when TPTB  fandom decided it was a good idea to start rumors that C&D hated each other. And then the “I am straight and have a gf” tour happened where he was forced got a little cheesy and decided to bring women on stage every night and sign sing PPG and that awful Pheromones so he could be every girl’s teenage dream and I’m pissed that I wasn’t one of those girls...or a teenager. 

And yes, this is when the questionable behavior began and D took on the straight frat boy douche persona around her because apparently I had not been paying any attention to Darren prior to this time. He wrote Me & My Dick years before this but I didn’t notice.  This is when we stopped getting the real D DAPPERMAN on SM and started getting his team and PBB posting in his name and every time he doesn’t sound like DAPPERMAN, I blame it on his team. This is one way I keep the fantasy Darren alive.  This is when the fandom began its great divide- those that believe that what they see is what they get, who accept Darren for who he is, and who enjoy the glimpses into his life that he shares versus those of us who have created an entirely false narrative that fits our fantasy. Being a ccer is exhausting because nothing Darren does fits our narrative and we constantly have to come up with excuses for why that is. Excuses like TPTB, contracts, his team pretending to be him on his social media, and how he is “forced” to sing songs on tour or say things in interviews or yell at 14 yo kids. Just read this manifesto and you will see all of the things we have to do to see our Darren.  and D was forced to   asked about his sexuality, just like he has been since he started doing interviews for Glee publicly address his . It seems to me that he was asked about his sexuality repeatedly which increased significantly during H/edwig and that sorta makes sense since he has now played two LGBTQ characters in a row and the questions were often asked by journalists whose job it is to actually get answers. Maybe I was just paying more attention to his sexuality because Hedwig was right when I discovered Crisscolfer.

But even during H/edwig - despite the sudden straight push -now 6 years into Darren saying he identified as straight- he was still bright and present (aka gay?).  He did as required, but on stage, at the stage door, in interviews, he was still D.  And then they sent him he went to Italy for 6 weeks to do a movie and during that time the shift happened. When he came back, the PR games were heightened aka Mia quit her job to travel with Darren and open their dream bar and it has only gotten exponentially worse every day that has passed since-at least for me.  She became not just his gf, but the absolute focal point of his public and private life ya know as couples in love tend to do.  This is when it became impossible to be a d fan without seeing her. This is when I became obsessed with hating and bullying Mia. This is when I started stalking her obsessively so that I am sure to see her. The stalking is all good, it’s part of my job to know what she is doing at all times so I can let the fandom know. 

And the problem with M is she is divisive to me and the ccers who are entitled to have a say in Darren’s personal life. She is on record treating fans deplorably even though there is NO record of her treating fans deplorably, I will continue to claim she does without giving any credible evidence this is true.. She made D yell at a 14 year old girl.  Darren is a big boy and 14 yo’s who behavior abhorrent shouldn’t get a pass so he told her off. She thrives on controversy and making D suffer. She sits in the background and lets Darren shine, rarely ever having anything to say when he is working and yet I obsess about what she is thinking and I pretend she really says all of the things I imagine in my jealousy-fueled head.  She has publicly treated him like an ass and has held herself out to be better than him and acts like he should be grateful she is in his life. She has only ever been gracious to fans but I am stark raving jealous and unhinged from reality so I make up all sorts of backstories to photos where Mia is simply standing next to Darren. Oh and I have never met her.  She acts like an elitist instead of being grateful for the very privileged life she lives because he family is filthy rich and her association with D. I’m so fucking jealous. Her friends are bratty and immature and they act like college students on their social media  that have has nothing to do with Darren’s  in life but party around the clock so  I am not sure why her friends matter to me except I’m on a role and I can’t stop. My friends are assholes (hey @flowersintheattic254, hey @cassie1022, hey Leka-1998) who bully a women they don’t even know and I’m still their friend... so maybe Mia’s friends shouldn’t matter to Darren’s fans.  She’s recorded herself rolling a joint in a parked car after a night of recording herself posting a handful of other pics were posted that night showing them having a good time. There was what looked like an alcoholic drink on a photo or two drinking and doesn’t even get reprimanded mooooommmm, MOM! Mia is rolling a joint...don’t touch me,...MOM! Don’t touch me, I’m going to tell mom..MOOOOOOOM! She wore a Tits of Clay band merch boobs shirt to the inaugural EF, an event marketed for families, to embarrass D and pull focus and I know this because she told me remember I make up all sorts of stories when I see a photo.  She claims she wants privacy but their entire public lives are blasted all over SM  I desperately stalk her, following everyone who might ever post a photo of her despite the fact that D has repeatedly stated he craves privacy he doesn’t social media and he is a private person who finds giving up his privacy really difficult and he is an emotional SENTIMENT hoarder I never get that right and has asked her not to post pics one time he told the story that when he was new to Glee, Mia posted a photo of the two of them on her Facebook that he wanted to keep for himself because he loved the photo so much.  She has not respect for him. She has a private Instagram and only posts pics of Darren on her public Snapchat when they go to big public events together. 

And D acts out around her more often than not.  Darren adores her. Add they now have him picking fights with fans on SM over her (we know it is not him but the GA doesn’t).  He pushes back when fans bully his wife. I pretend it isn’t him pushing back but it’s stupid for me to claim it isn’t him when it so clearly is him. If I accept it is him, then I have to think about my own behavior and the cc behavior that drives him to push back. Speaking of his SM, it is an absolutely mess punny and hilarious. This man is insanely intelligent, we all know two or three times he mentioned he has deleted and reposted things due to grammatical errors . and they represent him deplorably, fail to project his voice, and make him look like an asshole I hate punny silly Darren so I rage every time he posts in that voice. The only time I like him is if he is DAPPERMAN- boring, upstanding & polite and formal. 

Then we have the bar. Do not even get me started on the bar because I’m stark raving mad.  I do not understand how anyone can justify it and yet it is popular and people have a great time there.  He is the straight male owner of a bar that glorifies naked women, calls them sluts, names drinks after large breasts, has grotesque names like Period Sex (I WOULD NEVER) and Golden Showers (What is that?), cheap innuendo and theme nights that are beyond derogatory and yet, the more I think about it, that seems exactly like what a straight, male, bar owner would do. If I thought this was him DAPPERMAN and what he loves (as she ignores all of the times Darren has gushed about connecting to people through songs at the bar), I would turn away from him so fast my head would spin because I hate everything about Darren -the man he really is - but I know he is DAPPERMAN and he will come back to me.   Because that bar, that is misogynistic not my style... it makes me very uncomfortable, it’s too sex positive and at times it’s openly queer.  It’s filled with debauchery and I don’t understand it.  Not hating one woman because I am so jealous of her sexual freedom, her lifestyle, her money, her husband... I think she is pure evil even if everybody who knows her, loves her.

And of course, then we have the way he is presented in the press.  D has built a career playing LGBT+ roles.  His three major roles were gay, queer, gay.  And in every print article, we are reminded he is straight, often multiple times because when he first started playing Blaine, there weren’t a lot of straight men playing strong gay characters on TV.  Now we see that representation matters-asking an actor how he identifies during promo for his 3rd straight  LGBTQ role is hardly out of line.  And then they started making him repeatedly state it.  It is awkward and uncomfortable, He has consistently labeled himself as straight since 2009 and there is no evidence to suggest he is not straight but I can’t stop fantasizing. It makes me angry when I am faced with him reminding me he is straight.  It makes him look ungrateful to the community that he used to get ahead and frankly, makes him sound completely insecure.  I don’t like him if he isn’t gay. I don’t care that he never took advantage of the gay community by pretending to be gay or that he has always been a strong ally, all I can see or hear is “I'm straight”.  I want him to be gay and that is all that matters.  Like he can only play queer if he can repeatedly assert he is straight. Absolute mess. I don’t care that by repeatedly asserting he is straight, he is telling the truth, THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I WANT.  MOOOOOOMMMMMM. I dare anyone to find any other straight actor that addresses their sexuality as often.  You won’t find one. (James Franco)

I’m so jealous I can’t see straight and all I see is an unrealistic  And because of this narrative they have weaved, purely to elevate her, and they have torn him down, they have made him look like a straight jerk in love with a spoiled brat woman. I  hate her I hate her I hate her. Mooooommmm!  Sorry, i know i will get  deserve hate, but it is the my truth unrelated to Darren’s reality. And I’m not just a spoiled brat, I’m a hateful one.  There is nothing redeeming about her ME.

Instead they should have gotten him a respectful beard- ME, who was present but not a focus ME and not beaten into our heads that he is straight (isn’t that how beards work?).  They could have sold straight and done it respectfully and in a manner that i could have accepted by me.  No, I am not accepting closeting and i don’t think it is ok, but again, clearly the closeting was demanded by RIB-Ryan an important out, gay activist and F/ox in a contract they signed 9 years ago...when will it end? and if it had to be the narrative it could have been done in a manner that would have allowed D to remain true to himself and that means gay. They could have got a beard that let him be gay.   

And at this point, they just are making things worse and no one is winning anything.(isn’t everyone but Darren winning in this scenario?) They should free D -let him be GAY -and put him ME out of his MY misery because no amount of promo is going to make her famous outside of her stans as long as she has a private instagram account and Darren doesn't tag her or even post her photo. She just isn’t interesting- I am interesting.  This sham fanfiction I wrote has gone on way too long and completely spun out of control -I can’t make heads or tails out of it anymore- and it is NOT doing no one ME any favors except continuing to hide the my truth, the one thing his team I needs and wants, because MY the truth isn’t pretty.

[telamonaut]

bold what your muse can do .  italicize for something they can do to some extent .

bake a cake from scratch  /  ride a horse   /  drive a submarine  /  speak a second language  /  dance   /  catch a fish   /  play an instrument   /  throw a punch  /  ice skate  /  unclog a drain  /   program a computer  /  change a flat tire  /  fire a gun  /  sew  /  juggle  /  play poker  /  paint  /  fly a kite  /  sculpt  /  write poetry  /  change a diaper  /  sing  /  shoot a bow and arrow  /  ride a bike  /  swim  /  sail a boat  /  do a back flip  /  play chess  /  give cpr /  pitch a tent  /  flirt  / stitch a wound  /  read palms  /  use chopsticks  / write in cursive  /  use an electric drill  /  braid hair  /  make a campfire  /  make a mixed drink   /  do sudoku puzzles  /  wrap a gift  /  give a good massage  /   jump-start a car  /  roll their tongue  /  do magic tricks  /  do yoga  /  tie a tie or cravat  /  skip a rock  /  shuffle a deck of cards  /  read morse code  /  pick a lock   /  fly a plane/rocketship  /  train a dog/cat  /  fix a car  /  apologize  /  write a business letter  /  write in a second language  /  say the alphabet backwards  /   read music  /  cook complex meals  /  change oil  /  paint nails  /  draw  /  socialize  /  march  /  take apart a gun  /  drive a rig  /  operate a tank  /  climb a tree  /  rock climb  /  tie a cherry stem  /  basic first-aid  /  draw blood  /  put out a fire

[douxreviews]

Legends of Tomorrow - ‘Hey, World!’ Review

"Yeah, this innocent moment where kids aren’t afraid? It’s resonating with people."

I'm not crying. You're crying.

Apologies, this is a long one. I had a lot to process.

So, that was season four of Legends of Tomorrow, that was.

I've been wrestling with how I feel about this one for a few days longer than I wanted to due to an internet outage, and I'm still not entirely sure, outside of the fact that it absolutely made me cry at least twice.

I think, ultimately, the season four finale felt much less focused and more sprawling that last year's 'The Good, The Bad, and The Cuddly.'  That's not necessarily a bad thing. 'I'm not sure where they're going with this' is one of the holy grails as far as audience responses go, but only if you're also communicating the impression that you, the showrunner, do.

It might be useful to compare this year's finale with last year's in terms of one specific aspect. Specifically, how they both used the various plot coupons from the earlier episodes of the season as plot elements in the season's resolution. In season three, the main 'phlebotinums' of the season were the six totems, and of course Beebo. The season was structured around introducing those seven items, and then showing us how they could be combined correctly to resolve the season's villain. And it involved a giant stuffed animal on demon ninja fight, which was awesome.

The fact that it was the combination of those earlier plot coupons that resolved the issue made that resolution feel nicely focused and the natural ending for the season. And further, because they had the solid structural underpinning they also could also bring back Helen of Troy, and Blackbeard, and a random Viking or two for a fun callback. They had already demonstrated that the callback references to previous episodes were there for a justifiable purpose, which meant that they could throw a few frivolous ones in without hurting anything.

This season's callbacks felt much less structured and integral to the final resolution, and so they felt a little more gratuitous.

This kind of dovetails into the real problem this episode has, and it's one that you might have heard me mention before. Sing along in the back if you know the words; This should have been three episodes.

Because what the show was clearly interested in getting to was the big final showdown between the abstract power of fear and the abstract power of love. Which is great, and once they got there was fabulous. I swear I'll get around to saying positive things in a minute or two. Everything after Nate creates the circus using the book from 'Tagumo Attacks!!!' is paced perfectly. The eventual sacrifices were both foreshadowed to the exact right degree and were staggered with precision, the onset of Zari's tragedy coming right where it should at the moment we'd begun to exhale after Nate's resurrection. However, that good pacing comes in at about halfway through the episode's runtime, prior to which we'd been sprinting flat out to get all of the pieces in place for the final confrontation as quickly as we possibly can.

So, in the space of the first few minutes we go from Neron wanting to rule Hell as his motive to Neron wanting to collect fear, which kind of undercuts the clever terms of service reveal last week, but whatever. Then he apparently overthrows the Triumvirate anyway during the commercial break, as John speaks of it to Astra as a fait accompli. Then he doesn't want the fear itself, per se, but wants to use it to open a gateway to Hell so that they can come here for him to rule.

That feels like three solid end of episode reveals that we could have been wowed by over the course of three individual episodes. Because the evolution of his plan doesn't not make sense, if you follow me, it just evolves way, way too quickly to track well, and clearly only matters to get that final pit opening scene in the circus properly set up.

And hey, on that note, one of those three episodes could have been the 'Mick stealing the book of Brigid back from the Time Bureau' story that we were robbed of here. Honestly, they literally cut from Ava saying 'That will be super hard to steal' to Mick walking in holding the book saying, 'No, I totes already stole it, lets move on with the plotline.' That's just profoundly lazy plotting, and I get that it wasn't their fault, and that they didn't have any choice because the reduced episode count was never going to allow time for 'Mick-sion Impossible,' but it jars badly in context. And damn it, I totally just gave them the perfect episode title for it. I demand that they film it and include it as a DVD extra.

It honestly feels like they zipped through the first half of plot mechanics at least partially because they wanted to invest a lot of time setting up season five and it came at the expense of the season four wrap up. I specifically refer to the whole thing with the soul token/coin thing. As the episode was unfolding it felt like they were spending a lot of screen time setting up the mechanics of Hell's soul exchange which could have been time better spent telling the story at hand. At the conclusion, of course, we get the reveal of Astra and her menagerie of stolen coins, setting her and them up as the villains of next season. Which is, to be fair, a cool premise. Notice that we only saw a handful of the names on those coins, which means they can still turn out to be just about anyone. Dare I hope that the name Damien Darhk turns out to be on one of them?

Okay. We've danced around it long enough. Let's talk about Zari. First off, a big acknowledgement of how wrong I was in my review of the last episode where I mentioned that they were probably never going to get around to addressing the whole future dystopia thing. No, turns out that they were going to use its resolution as one of the foundations of season five. I should have had more faith. Second, a big shout out to percysowner, who opined in the comments thread last week that perhaps Zari would imprint on the dragon and that would undo the future dystopia. If you're reading this, percysowner, I publicly acknowledge that you read that situation much better than I did.

I genuinely thought they were killing off both Zari and Nate, I honestly did. I clocked the Nate/Constantine swap exactly when the show wanted me to, which was a satisfying and heartbreaking payoff to the Neron situation. It worked because Nate sacrificing himself and John telling Nate about the deal so that he would make the choice to do so is just so entirely on brand for both of them.

Also on brand; Zari leaving the safety of the ship to be with Nate when he died. Their final embrace before she faded away was a truly heartbreaking moment. I totally take back my earlier misgivings about their relationship. Similarly touching, Nate's farewell conversation with Hank in the rafters. I'm on record as not being a huge fan of Hank, but setting that aside, the callback to his James Taylor moment was well judged here, and I'm happy for Nate that he got that little bit of closure. Oh, and that he gets to still be alive.

So, Zari is out there somewhere living her life never having met the Legends, and in her place we have her brother Berhad, which explains why they went to such extraordinary lengths to get rid of the necklace earlier and turn it into a manly fitbit of power.

One parting thought on this change, as heartbreaking as it feels right now. Zari as we know her has left the show, but Tala Ashe has not. Apparently the Zari they find next season is going to be very different. And let's not forget that we're only a few months away from Crisis on Infinite Earths, in which all of reality is going to be put through a meat grinder and reformed on the other side. I have to believe we haven't seen the last of Zari.

Caity Lotz' impression of Melissa Benoist - Hysterical, and just a little bit mean.

Everybody remember where we parked.

This week we were all about Washington D.C in 2019 and Hell. Assuming that those are in fact two different places.

Insert drum snare.

Quotes:

Ogre: "Ha ha! Ogre wins again!" Mick: "Cheating bastard!"

Calibraxis: "Who the hell are you?" Nora: "Really? The dress doesn’t sell it?"

Nate: "I would have said ‘Zari, Zari, you smell like calamari’. … Bullying is bad."

Astra: "Nice sparkles." Nora: "Nice shoulderpads."

Ne-Ray: "We will make Earth Hell again." Subtle, show.

Mona: "Stay calm, they smell fear." Gary: "What if fear is my natural scent?"

Mick: "Give it back when you’re done. Buck and Garima’s sexual odyssey is far from over."

Zari: "Guys, I feel like that would have worked a little bit better with the real trinity." Sara: "Yeah, well, I asked and they said hard pass." Nate: "We should have done the crossover."

Vandal Savage: "Oh, I love those groovy guys."

Bits and Pieces:

-- It's a little hard to believe that all the magical creatures are down with behaving themselves now. Mike the Spike inside the puppet Stein was a serial killer, after all.

-- Also, is it just me or did the Legends just let all of the magical creatures just sort of wander off between the show and the dragon battle? Are we just not worried about them anymore?

-- It makes sense idiomatically in the US, but John Constantine wouldn't have phrased Nora using her fairy powers to get into the demon vault as 'poofing her way in.' That would mean something very different in the UK, and kind of implies that she'd somehow be getting into the vault through the magic of gay sex. Which is magical, sure, but not in a way that would be helpful in this situation. I don't know, maybe he was just going for an oblique 'fairy' joke.

-- It was fun seeing Vandal Savage and Ray bonding over Jenga, but again I kind of wonder if that wouldn't have been time better spent elsewhere.

-- It was a bad idea to bait and switch people into coming to Heyworld thinking it would be all about superheroes. I wish they'd handled that a little better.

-- Why did Mithra the dragon, who sadly never got to know the name Wixstable, turn back into a baby after eating Tabitha?

-- Nora and Gary now have the same kind of power symbiosis that Jax and Stein had, when you think about it.

-- I like them, I enjoy Wolfie, and I've enjoyed most of their plotlines this year, but it wouldn't break my heart if Mona and Gary had transferred to the Cleveland branch before the beginning of next season. We just have too many people. That's one of the reasons I believed they'd killed Nate.

-- We're all on the same page that only Mick, Sara, and Ray are non-negotiable members of the team, right? Like, I'd miss Nate, but I'd get over it.

-- How famous is Ray Palmer, exactly? Last year he was obscure enough to be working at Upswipes, and now he's working senate sub-committee hearings.

-- Lovely little cameo by The Monitor, just chilling back and eating popcorn at Heyworld.  That's a little less momentous than his other finale appearances, but it was a nice reminder that the Crisis is looming.  Also, it was funny.

Magical creatures?  Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine.

A big, sprawling season finale with lots of good bits and a little less focus and time to breath than it could have used. That kind of sums up season four as a whole, actually.

Three out of four James Taylor sing-a-longs.

And that brings us to the end of another Legends season. It's been a blast as always, see you all in the fall, when I hopefully will not have two other shows also running at the same time that the Waverider takes off.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[asukaskerian]

I never really quite got all of the classes on demon categorization and summonings (like, demons basically being in someone's head/not being physical vs. them being summoned/physical and the overall way they catagorize) with MotDP. So, like, do they only categorize demons as Class 3 if they're able to look humanoid when in physical form? Could you explain to help out my dumb head? T u T

it’s mostly a question of smarts!

intelligence is a big amplificator of magic. it also affects the ambient magic, the ether all around people, etc.

Class ones are smart like insects or jellyfish, class threes are more like really smart dogs or young kids. (if they’re summoned then all of them can use their summoner’s language skills to communicate, IF they come out with mouths and vocal chords that work like ours, but a class one would mostly say like, “hungry” or “scared”.)

but! when a demon is in their own dimension, nobody has a physical body. when they they cross over, mostly they lean on whatever their soul’s description is close to in the human consciousness. because human belief and stereotypes shape a lot of how these things translate from pure ideas into physical representations.

... it kinda works via metaphor.

basically karkat is smart like a human and summoners would expect him to look like them because sentient = human in their heads, so there’s a lot of his body that looks human, with crab stuff added on because they scuttle and have armor on but they’re also super tasty and everybody wants a piece. his soul resonates with things that humans think crabs are like, so he’s got crab attributes.

but if he had come out of a gate at the bottom of the ocean (yes there are just as many as on land), he’d have a body that looks more like an octopus... with crab attributes, if the octopuses also think of crabs the way we think of them.

it’s entirely possible that a class one could look very human, but still be very dumb, because they have attributes other than smarts that are very close to humans and that was the best translation of the rest of them. dexterity, senses, no hair, social behavior, etc. it would be super rare to hit on just the right combo, but not 100% impossible. and if a class four demon is super alien mentally speaking they could also not come out humanoid at all. but humans expect demons to look humanoid while they’re in a body and that belief influences things a lot. so it’s not an absolute rule that class ones look very animal and class fours don’t, it’s just what tends to happen due to subconscious expectations influencing things.

anyway, the power levels are not very scientific and precise at ALL, they’re more like rough comparisons. a class four is supposed to be a demon of a level sufficient to make sure no other identical classpect demon can hang out at THEIR hell gate. but like. considering how rare blood demons are, you could have a blood demon who’s super weak and is still the only one there. the definition is very flawed. demons mostly go by “is this one more or less dangerous than that one” “ok th things they do are very different so it’s hard to measure but let’s say they’re less but not that much, we’ll tell the dumb humans they’re class three.”

but mostly, class fours are sentient at an adult level. that’s the main thing humans tend to use. and since intelligence multiplies power then even if the demon is naturally very weak, if they’re smart they’ll still be somewhat stronger than a dumber one with more natural power.

... and if they’re smart they can trick and eat the stronger ones and take that strength for themselves. so. in  the end that sorts itself out.

(out of universe explanation: i wanted all the canon trolls to be at about the same level of strength. so i called it “class four” and moved on. XD)

[sugar-petals]

Christmas Eve Sex with BTS (m)

Jimin

There are candles, a silk shirt, and a dark room involved. Classy Jimin is a sucker for that, no surprise there. He’s working hard to get you enthralled by his fantasy world of cheesiness and general Notebook antics. The members once said he’s of the most romantic among them - painfully good at giving gifts and writing letters. You will receive plenty of those, neatly prepared. Kisses, too. Not those aimed at your face, that’s for later when he indulges you at the chimney fire. You get to sit on Santa Jimin’s lap, it’s very comfortable. So you can play nutcracker there all you want, you get me. There’s also an opportunity to take your camera, securing some of these moments. Beautiful shots of luscious Jimin who fell back into your linen pillows with his back arched, lips parted, shirt half open already. Jimin’s chest and neck, veins protrude from his tan skin. Details of Jimin’s sturdy back where shadows play in the light of the candles. If you turn these into black and white the next day, you’ll have quite a few gems to add to the secret erotic folder you have with him.

Taehyung

What a puppy. Taehyung surely does not understand that sex involves undressing (each other), so what you will get for Christmas is some very, very steamy dry-humping. At first, at first. Just bear with me. At the beginning, the more you grind on him, the funnier it gets. You have people like Jimin who treat sex like something holy, and then you have Taehyung or Jungkook who love to fool around with you. If you’re down to tame a brat, this is the right address. He’d even suggest you two get tipsy but you’re like no Taehyung, we gotta be responsible and in control of our actions. But he keeps bringing up whimsical things, until you get assertive. “You want a spanking?” - “Oh yes... yes, Mommy, please.” This is how the story goes. And you finally get to peel off Taetae’s Christmas pajamas and have him bend over. Though not for long since the two of you are too turned on by then, and some reverse cowgirl is the way to go until you’re satisfied. 

Jin

This ardent hyung has been baking, decorating, singing, knitting, ironing, cleaning, and shoveling snow so much, he forgot about your on-on-one time! That calls for some different measures, I’m telling you. Only entering the kitchen stark naked will keep Seokjin from pursuing his beloved December duties. At first, he’ll be shocked, eyes impossibly wide: wait, what is going on! Then, dropping his pink (!) lametta and straw stars for the Christmas tree, he’s fully alert plus ready to please. Quick, quick, let’s get up-close right away he agrees. Especially because you could get a cold running around without clothes, duh, this is just how Jin works. “I could use some of your Christmas spirit,” you provoke him. And he is happy to oblige in an instant, has you on the couch and kitchen counter. He still smells like cinnamon and apples, so intoxicating that you pepper kisses and small licks all over his skin. It’s a wonderful night.

Yoongi

There won’t be Christmas Eve sex. But Christmas Day sex. Big difference. Yoongi already starts at 7:30 AM, waking you from your sleep... with his tongue sliding up your inner thigh. He knows how much you love this every time and can’t stop talking about how it makes your day. Once you have two eyes open, a pleasant tingle already spreads through your abdomen because Min fucking Suga just can’t stop giving head, and more head, head until breakfast time passed and you two have to opt for brunch. After a while, he encounters trouble chewing because he has been working his jaw so much, and you kiss it better. Lunch: not happening either. Because as you clean your home right before that, Yoongs is too sexy wiping the floor. So you plainly decide to get on top of him just there to ride out even the last of your sexual cravings, which results in more cleaning because cum. As the evening approaches, the, um, present that magically has unwrapped itself underneath the Christmas tree is also dear Suga with a purple ribbon around his neck, and nothing else on. Curse him (and fuck him properly), he planned all of this. This incredible guy is giving everything he’s got. Jesus, what a man.

Hoseok

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Jung Hoseok, everybody. Neither of you will be able to walk properly the next day, this is a fact. And that’s alright you know, staying in bed is no problem when there are multiple rounds waiting around the corner, some first-class oral sex in particular. You’d think Yoongi is the only one who’s talented at that in Bangtan, oh no no. That’s also how it starts in the evening as you sit at the table preparing Gingerbread, when your love Hobi daringly meets you topless - showing off his lean muscles and glowing tan skin. Gosh, he’s so elegant. You beckon him to sit down at your feet. See if he can handle it when you spread your legs slowly, and guide him with your hands at the back of his beautiful head. He sure as hell will perform a good dance on you, Jay is conscientous like that. Soon you’ll change locations, finding a warm spot at the fireplace... and indulge each other completely.

Namjoon

He’s hopelessly enamoured with you, rose-colored glasses and all. Yep, Namjoon has been fantasizing about this evening since Summer. The astounding thing is, he imagines it as some ethereal, life-altering occurence. No physical bodies involved. You come in there to change precisely that. There’s no space in your decorated living room so you’ll sit cheek to cheek sooner or later that evening, and his ugly sweater tempts you to remove it quickly. Revealing his chiseled figure, Namjoon is already super nervous for this spiritual experience (god, he’s just too cute) and you can tell by the bulge in his jeans, darlin’. You’ll be delirious from the excitement. Someone’s going to have the time of her life riding him slowly, hands on his chest, whispering dirty things, and biting his neck now and then... Meanwhile, he stimulates you with his magic fingers, and it’s getting faster and faster. No time to take a proper breath, this orgasm is going to be way too strong. 

Jungkook

So you had the audacity to write “huge collection of sex toys” on your wish list, are you ready for anarchy or what. So there he goes, your baby boy. Outrageously kinky Jeon Jungkook knows how to turn your evening into a glorious mess. He will use the toys on you. He will use the toys on himself (have fun watching). And: You will use the toys on him. Kooks was shrewd enough to buy a humongous bottle of lube as an extra present just to be sure, half of that will be gone by the end of the night indeed. Note: You soon will know just how good he was with selecting what will fit just right into both of you. In fact, he is so comfortable and greedy about being stuffed, anally, orally, he might run out of batteries. But the shops are closed, and you can just use your hands on him instead. Who knew that anal fisting your boyfriend would be the Christmas highlight. He’s already stretched out and lubricated, so it’s easy with a pair of nice smooth gloves added. This will get him off like there’s no tomorrow. After he came, the great finish is still due though. And that will leave you contented until New Year’s Eve because Jungkook picks the Hitachi vibrator from the collection. You’re welcome. And bless him.

[thedefinitionofbts]

Crossroads Hiding the Moon

Pairings: Min Yoongi x Reader | Min Yoongi x OC

Genre: Single Dad!Yoongi, Baby!Taehyung, Angst and Fluff

Words: 8K

Description: As requested by anon: “A single dad! yoongi with a toddler? Like super angst in a way that his wife suddenly left them so he turns cold. But then someone comes into their life and his son started calling her mommy, they try to work it out for the kid. Just when everything's better, the ex wife returns and things get complicated but ends up in fluff.”

A/N: My first request! Omg, I finished this super fast because I got way too excited to do a request lol. Well, I hope you enjoy this anonie :)

Present 

If there is anything Min Yoongi hates more than being late for important events, it’s driving through the rain during rush hour. He’s on his way to pick up his four year old son, Taehyung, after a long day in the studio, and maybe if Jungkook was more vocally skilled at execution or if Namjoon wasn’t so nit picky about the lyrics, he wouldn’t feel as emotionally drained while the sun was still up. But no, the overly self-confident main vocalist was too arrogant to take constructive criticism seriously, and the popular boy group’s resident genius was too much of a perfectionist to let one “lackluster” chorus slide. So here he is, sitting in the his car listening to the unrelenting raindrops splatter against his windshield, and waiting for the vehicle in front of him to stop drunkenly swerving into his lane.  

Truthfully, Yoongi had been feeling rather uneasy all day. He was reluctant to send Taehyung off to daycare, not knowing if the other children would make fun of the toddler for his second hand clothing that Yoongi barely had the money to afford or his eccentric personality that is often misunderstood. Yoongi’s new job didn’t allow children to run around the studio, and it was his first big break, finally being hired by a company as established in the music industry as BigHit just when rent was due in less than 2 weeks and his bank account had been sucked dry because he insisted on buying that expensive pair of shoes for the toddler’s birthday, even if it meant he had to skip lunch each day for the next month. He had barely been scraping by before his self-composed song was selected as the winner of the online competition BigHit had held for rising producers, and it was like the heaven’s was finally listening to his silent prayers.

It’s still pouring as the traffic continues to move at a snails pace, causing Yoongi to drown in his overly worried mind once again. He was afraid Taehyung would be the last kid picked up, having to watch all the other children leave with their parents causing him to start having thoughts of Yoongi abandoning him, just like his mother did. Yoongi swallows thickly and grips the steering wheel tighter, forcing himself not to think about something he’s been trying to forget for over two years now.

 When he arrives at the daycare, Yoongi sees Taehyung sitting alone by the window, shoulder slightly slump and legs that were too short to touch the ground swinging carelessly as he stared at the pellets of water trickling down the glass, blurring the view of the grey world outside. He almost looks like he was deep in thought, and it makes Yoongi wonder if Taehyung’s young mind is actually thinking about something profound or if his head was just filled with his favorite cartoons on replay.

“Ah, Mr. Min! You’re finally here.” The friendly voice of the woman in charge snaps Yoongi out of his thoughts, bringing him back to the task at hand.

Yoongi clears his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m here to pick up Taehyung.”

At the sound of his name, Taehyung’s little head perks up and a boxy smile appears on his face as he turns his head to see his father standing at the doorway. And before Yoongi can call him over, the four year old was already a step ahead and had ran over to jump into his arms.

“Daddy!” He laughs, nuzzling his head into the crook of Yoongi’s neck as the older male lifts him off the ground.

“He’s been waiting for quite a while.” The lady brings up the fact that Yoongi was nearly 45 minutes late, as if it hadn’t been obvious by the room void of children except Tae. She has a smile on her face, so Yoongi assumes she doesn’t say that with ill intent but rather concern for his son who had to watch all the other kids leave with their parents.

“Sorry, Tae, this won’t happen again.” Yoongi apologizes, bouncing the little boy in his arms to get in a more comfortable position.

Taehyung shakes his head. “It’s ok, I knew you’d come.”

Yoongi reaches up and ruffles Taehyung’s fluffy hair, smiling at the little boy because his heart felt too full to describe whatever emotion he was feeling into words. If Yoongi was being really honest, the kid was the only person filling that miserable numbness he wakes up to each morning, the only person that can actually bring out a genuine smile from the depths of his being, even if he has to force himself to ignore the other person that Taehyung reminds him of. He often wonders if Taehyung hides his sadness with a childish front, but maybe that was just Yoongi overthinking again or even an effect of projecting his own mindset on the toddler. On one hand, the kid was only four years old, and yet on the other, he had already gone through so much at such a young age.  

Taehyung doesn’t want to get his new shoes wet, and honestly neither does Yoongi because Gucci for kids still cost the rising producer an arm and a leg, so Yoongi offers to carry him on the condition that he holds the umbrella–“because daddy doesn’t have three arms”. And of course Taehyung doesn’t object, and so the two of them walk to Yoongi’s car that is parked a block away because street parking was much cheaper than paying for a spot in the lot.

“Daddy look, that person doesn’t have an umbrella” Yoongi’s head turns in the direction that Taehyung’s stubby finger is pointed, and low and behold he see’s you using your wallet sized purse to cover your head in a feeble attempt to remain somewhat dry as you ran towards them waiting for the light to turn green at the crosswalk.  

Yoongi stands still, head positioned straight, and gaze fixed at the passing cars on the street as you reached the spot where he was standing with Taehyung, pretending like there wasn’t someone being drenched in the rain while he remained sheltered under an umbrella large enough to fit an entire family.

“Aww, you’re so sweet, thank you.” Your comment makes Yoongi’s jerk his head around and realize just what had happened. Unbeknownst to him, Taehyung had moved the umbrella in a way so that it covered your head as well, and now the three of you were in a situation Yoongi would rather not have to address at a time like this.

“You’re pretty” Taehyung says, giggling a little as he continued to look at your with wide eyes and an impossibly friendly smile.

“Tae” Yoongi mildly scolds, wondering what had gotten into his son, questioning why in the world Taehyung would take part in such an unusual act of kindness towards a stranger on the street, and it wasn’t until Yoongi’s eyes meet directly with yours that the answer to that very question became as obvious as day.

You were almost a mirror image of her.

 …

 Past

When he was younger, Min Yoongi was a big fan of love that was like summer rain. The kind that hits you suddenly and bursts out of your soul like the scent of earthly elements coming back to life, filling the atmosphere when a seemingly never-ending drought finally comes to an end. Blame his artistic mind and tendency to describe emotion through song, a habit of his that manifested as an interest for the arts when he was young and caused him to spend most of his time listening to music rather than playing with other kids outside. And it was precisely for that reason that Min Yoongi knew he wanted to be a composer from the moment he entered college, opting to major in music the second he got the chance to meet with his university counselor.

He didn’t care what his parents thought of it, didn’t heed the advice from his older successful businessman brother-who was always the favorite in the family-about the risks of trying to make it big in the turbulent music industry. Yoongi was a big believer in passion being the key to success, of course not without hard work and discipline, which was why he found himself in the music theater, practicing classical pieces on the grand piano without an audience, every single day of the year. Because not only was it a place he came to associate with the undying love he harbored for music and the optimistic hope he had for the future, it was also where he met Kim Chaewon for the very first time.

“You’re Min Yoongi, right?”

The silvery voice floats over to Yoongi’s ear, cutting through the musical piece he had been so thoroughly absorbed in. It was almost too cliché because Chaewon exhibited a kind of beauty that made his jaw drop the moment he lifted his gaze off the black and white keys and spotted her walking down the steps to the empty stage. Even though the performance hall was only half lit, her skin still managed to glow smoothly under the dim artificial lighting, and her eyes were large and puppy-like, kind and gentle, like warm spring zephyr.

“Yeah, I am.” Yoongi answers, eyes still fixed on the girl who is smiling at him like winter snow had just melted away after months of turning to decaying slush.

“The one the professor kept raving about in class today, right?”

“Oh, that was…” Yoongi scratches the back of his neck, reminded of how embarrassing it was for the music professor to brag about his project on sound layering. He didn’t like being the center of attention and had sunk lower in the seat when the man had mentioned his name, not that anyone could put a face to his name, or so he thought. 

She giggles, light and airy, making Yoongi flush because he’s never met anyone who’s shown genuine interest in his novice work, well except for said professor who keeps praising him in front of the class.

“I forgot to mention, I’m Chaewon. You probably don’t me, but I’ve secretly been listening to you play for quite a while now and just summed up the guts to talk to you today.” Her gaze drops shyly, waiting for Yoongi to respond to her confession.

Yoongi’s at lost for words, not knowing how to respond to such a statement, especially when she’s making his heart beat a mile a minute. At the very least he’s poised enough to thank her for being a fan, which sounded really dumb stuttering out of his nervous mouth but manages to make her laugh, so it wasn’t all in vain he supposes. 

Yoongi never thought about how it would feel to actually have someone support his dreams, he wasn’t looking for that kind of reassurance because he was used to being looked down upon. He was used to chasing after something that was unimaginably far away, one that makes him feel like he was running in place every day and that tomorrow would never truly arrive. It never really bothered him because his passion for music stayed true, and he was always confident that he would never stray from that path that would take him closer towards his dream, but Kim Chaewon came to him like summer rain. She was the first person to sincerely believe in him, and she did it when no one else bothered to give his music a chance, when the rest of the world was against his humble beginnings and rejected the potential of an underdog making it to the top.

“You’re going to be an amazing songwriter and producer one day.” Chaewon says to Yoongi as they walk under the cascading cherry blossoms on a warm April afternoon. The sun was warmer than normal today, and the scenery was hazy like an actual dream, only it was actually real and closer than anything else in Yoongi’s life at the time.  

“I really hope so.” Yoongi sighs, reminded of all the obstacles that lie on the road ahead.

“I know you will because you’re Min Yoongi and the world deserves to be graced by your unparalleled art.”

Kim Chaewon was ethereal, because not only was her outer appearance angelic and otherworldly, her personality was just as lovely as Yoongi eventually learned over the years. And although Yoongi knew from the moment their minds clicked like that of soulmates that she was the one, it was because she stuck with him through the all-time lows, those periods when he lost the magic touch and would he hit a slump that barred him from coming up with anything good for months, that led Yoongi to love Chaewon more than that satisfying feeling of finally completing a song that conveyed exactly what he intended, more than the way rain cascades like diamond tears from the sky and ends in a passing sun shower that gives birth to a rainbow, and more than everything he thought was meaningful in life before she lit up his world.

 Their love was a crystal clear story, one that wasn’t supposed to end.

 …

 Present

Grocery shopping is always a pain, and not entirely due to the fact that Yoongi was literally broke, but because he had to take time to consider healthy options for his growing boy. If it was just him, he would be fine shoving cheap junk down his esophagus or surviving on minimal food for most of the month, but because of Taehyung, he was forced to actually prepare meals with vegetables and make sure Tae always has his daily serving of fruits, which entailed a trip to the grocery store every weekend.

Luckily Taehyung isn’t all that picky for a four year old, but he was addicted to coke and Yoongi can do nothing but blame himself for allowing the kid to get his hands on the addictive soft drink. In his defense, he didn’t think one sip could have such a dramatic effect, but boy was he wrong.

“Coke!” Taehyung shouts, finger pointing at the 2-liter bottles of black liquid with their signature red label, lined on the shelves. His eyes were opened wide and sparkling like he just saw his first love.

“Not today, Tae” Yoongi mutters, ignoring the boy’s disappointed pout and quickly pushing the shopping cart past the soda section and heading straight towards the breakfast cereals and oatmeal.

He’s trying to decide if cereal is healthy or not. He’s heard of most types being just pure sugar, but there has to be some vitamins hidden in there, right? It was convenient that’s for sure, and Yoongi was definitely a fan of anything that required minimal preparation from box to mouth. Especially in the mornings when he would feel most groggy and not have any motivation to even think about food.  

“Hi!” Yoongi hears Taehyung shout at someone walking down the isle, and at first he suspects it’s just some random person that caught his son’s attention, but as he tears his gaze away from the nutrition information printed on the cereal box, he sees someone who makes him do a double take.

The world was definitely fucking with him.

“Hey there little fella, so we meet again.” You smile at the little boy who shared his umbrella with you the other day, reaching over and patting his head as he sat in the shopping cart.

“I’m Y/N by the way, sorry I didn’t have the chance to introduce myself the other day.” You wait for the father of the little boy to look up at you.

“Min Yoongi” He responds, still avoiding eye contact.

“I see you’re taking good care of him” You hint at the box of cheerios that Yoongi was scrutinizing.

“I try” He exhales, throwing the box into the cart and preparing to walk off.

You trail after them, wanting to help out in some way because they had been so kind to you on that rainy day and the kid was the cutest little bun you had ever seen.

“Almond milk would be a good option to pair with that.” You suggest. “Calcium for strong bones.” Your voice is light and optimistic, a tone that Yoongi isn’t so happy to be met with because he’s used to being left alone and ignored.

“Are you some sort of expert?” Yoongi scoffs, mildly annoyed at the fact that you’re clearly not going away, but it’s not like he can just voice that directly.

“I’m not a certified nutritionist, but I know a few things.” You grin, flashing Yoongi a knowing look before taking them down each isle and explaining what foods are healthy as well as easy to prepare. “My sister has a son about the same age as yours, and I babysit for her the time.” You explain, trying to lighten the mood.

He’s more than reluctant at first, face remaining as stoic as ever, but Yoongi hates grocery shopping and he’s too tired to keep reading lists of nutrition information and trying to decipher the hoard of long words he doesn’t even know. So he looks at you momentarily before nodding and diverting his eyes, praying that this’ll be a one-time thing and that it ends as soon as he checks out of the store.

He didn’t welcome your friendly attitude towards him because he didn’t need another person in his life to smile at him like everything was ok, like there’s another chance for him to be happy again and have the courage to trust emotions he doesn’t think are real anymore. Not when you’re standing in front of him looking more breathtaking than anyone he’s seen in years, not when you give off such a soothing and caring aura that Yoongi wishes he hadn’t noticed, and certainly not when you remind him so much of the person he still loves no matter how hard he tries to forget.

It’s pathetic, but Yoongi wants to avoid complicated shit like the plague. He doesn’t need another love story that’ll ripe his heart into tiny pieces and leave him slowly bleeding out on an empty street. He doesn’t need light that makes him believe in lies that disguise themselves as promises, and he doesn’t want to open wounds that have not and will most certainly never heal, because he knows if history repeats itself, he won’t come out of it alive the second time.

“You need help with that?” You offer, gesturing to the arm full of plastic bags Yoongi was holding as the three of you walk out of the store.

“No” He says, detached and not even bothering to spare you a glance.

Yoongi feels Taehyung tug on his pant leg, and he knows exactly what the little boy wants.

“Daddy can’t carry you now, you have to walk like a big boy.”

Taehyung whimpers, a noise that makes the hair on Yoongi’s neck stand up because he knows what’s coming next. And Yoongi curses in his head because you were still walking next to them, which Yoongi is starting to question why you hadn’t left yet because he doesn’t want you to witness what his son’s about to do next.

Taehyung starts wailing, loudly. And it sounds so sad anyone who heard his cries would think his dog had just died or something because no four year old should be able to convey emotions so depressing with just ugly sobbing over something as trivial as having to walk when he wants to be carried, but Tae manages to excel in that area and Yoongi swears the kid could grow up to be an amazing actor-but that’s besides the point right now. The sound echoes throughout the neighborhood, ricocheting off the walls of the houses lining the streets, causing passerbys to cover their ears in annoyance and Yoongi’s face to flush hotly from the growing embarrassment.

“Tae” Yoongi scolds through gritted teeth, but his harsh attitude on makes the boy cry even more. Yoongi closes his eyes and curses again, but just as he was about to bend over and attempt to lift the boy up with seven shopping bags in hand, you’ve already beat him to the catch.

“Awww, don’t cry sweetie, I’ll carry you” You’ve already lifted the toddler up into your arms, wiping his tear stained cheeks with a handkerchief from your purse. “It’s tiring to walk isn’t it?” 

Taehyung nods and looks at you with puffy red eyes, but just as soon as you beam at him, his boxy smiles makes a return and it was as if he hadn’t just been bawling just a minute ago.

Yoongi sighs, making a mental note that he needs to stop spoiling Taehyung before the kid starts thinking he can always get his way.

“Don’t you have better things to do?” The question slips out of Yoongi’s mouth after another fifteen minutes of walking, but he regrets it immediately because the pregnant pause that follows starts to suffocate him and he doesn’t even have the guts to look at the flustered expression on your face.

“I-I, ummm”

Yoongi almost regrets calling you out the way he did. He wasn’t purposefully trying to make you feel uncomfortable, but his query was valid. Why were you following them home?

“I know this probably sounds crazy, but I live in the same apartment complex as you. I’ve seen the two of you around, but I-I guess I probably shouldn’t have assumed you knew me since I’ve never officially introduced myself before.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what to think. He’s now certain that the world was fucking with him because this is definitely fate throwing him some kind of curve ball that he can’t escape, or maybe it’s more like a boomerang that’s aimed towards his head.

He clears his throat. “Oh”

That’s all he says in response to your explanation. He doesn’t address the issue further, not when the rest of the walk remains shrouded in silence or when the tension between you and him is skyrocketing through the roof as Yoongi struggles with the door to the apartment complex and is unwilling to ask you to help him, only to grunt a muffled thanks when you rush to his aid with his son still in your arms, and not even when you put Taehyung back on the ground and wave good-bye to the toddler as you exit the elevator on the fifth floor.

 …

 Past

Chaewon informs Yoongi that she’s missed her period, and normally this wouldn’t alarm her if it weren’t for the added tenderness in her breasts and weird food cravings that she hasn’t experienced until recently or the fact that she and Yoongi had just made love for the first time right after the both of them successfully graduated from university. He had suggested using protection on that night, but Chaewon didn’t think anything unexpected would happen from one time.

Evidently, she was wrong.

“Yoongi, I’m pregnant.” Chaewon holds the pregnancy test up so Yoongi can examine the double lines that have appeared. There’s no joy in her face, no disappointment either, but rather a subtle hint of fear tainting her formerly cheerful eyes. 

They weren’t married, and they didn’t have stable jobs or their lives put together. In such a situation, who wouldn’t be terrified to see those two tiny markings on such a life-altering day? Chaewon is thinking about what she’s going to say to her parents, running through all the options they have when it comes to dealing with this, and praying that maybe the test was wrong and that she was only experiencing such symptoms because of stress or a hormonal imbalance not due to the zygote now latched on to her uterine wall.

“Chaewon…” Yoongi gasps, rushing over and embracing her as if he had just been gifted all the stars in the universe, embracing the feeling of excitement mixed with apprehension saturating his senses like it was the most beautiful moment in his life.

“What do we do?” She utters, so softly Yoongi has to lean down and caress her cheek, lifting her chin so he can gaze sincerely into her eyes with the utmost resolve.

“We’ll welcome our beautiful child into this world.”

 …

Present 

“Yoongi!”

Ok, so now Yoongi is convinced that you’re just a stalker. Like how? He had just walked out of the apartment to take a walk and clear his head after getting Taehyung to take a nap. And just as he was running through all of these album concepts in his head, you happened to spot him strolling along the sidewalk towards the park next to the apartment complex.

Yoongi’s ready to sigh wearily as he sees you walk up to him.

“I was just about to ask if you wanted to have Taehyung meet my sister’s son, Park Jimin. I’m going to babysitting him all next week and if you’re busy with work and stuff, you can drop him off at my apartment.” You smile, waiting for some kind of response from Yoongi. He was so hard to read you begin to wonder if he’s just like that because of his natural personality or if he really didn’t want to see you because there was no sign of elation or even pretend politeness on his face.  

“Sure.” Yoongi doesn’t think things through before answering, and he mentally scolds himself for not considering the aftermath of taking you up on your offer, because now he’s officially caught in a relationship more intimate that he promised he would ever allow himself to be with another person. Fuck.

But the thought of not having to rush out of the BigHit building and picking Taehyung up after daycare was just too tempting, and better yet, he didn’t even have to get up an hour early to drop Taehyung off at daycare because you literally lived two floors down, and Taehyung like you for reasons Yoongi is choosing to ignore at this point because that would just twist things up more than they already are.

“Great! I guess I’ll see you Monday then!” You chirp, waving and heading back to the apartment.

 …

 Taehyung and Jimin get along better than two peas in a pod. Any outsider would assume they had been friends for years or were brothers from another mother. They are in fact the exact same age, give or take a month or two, and they surprisingly shared more interests than Yoongi could’ve predicted.

“How was your day?” You ask as Yoongi enters your apartment to pick up his son.  

“Nothing too special.” Yoongi has a minor flashback of Jungkook stuffing a pair of chopsticks up his nose and trying to sing. It was not pretty, but it made him laugh, which is quite a difficult feat so he let it slide.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where do you work?”

“BigHit Entertainment.”

“Whoa, you produce music for Beyond the Scene?” Your eyes widen. “Their music is always topping the charts!”

“I just started, so no, none of my songs have been chart toppers quite yet.”

“But still, you have to be good if they hired you.”

“I guess” He shrugs. 

“I’m a huge fan of them.” You admit, face flushing a little. “I’ve been following them since debut.”

“They do have a lot of fans.” Yoongi comments. He looks around the room, rubbing his hands together and trying to figure out a way to thank you for taking care of Taehyung all day and leaving without it seeming like he was taking advantage of your services and didn’t give a fuck about camaraderie.

“So…uh-”

Yoongi isn’t allowed to finish his attempt at more small talk before Taehyung interrupts him. “Mommy, will Jimin come back tomorrow?” Taehyung’s little head momentarily turns away from the toys splayed out on the floor and looks at you and Yoongi sitting on the couch in the living room.

You’re surprised by the four year old’s choice of words because Taehying hadn’t called you by any name other than your own all day. You’re immediate reaction is of shock, but endearment soon replaces that initial astonishment as he beams at you like a blooming flower.

Yoongi grits his teeth, body stiffening at the sound of his son voicing those syllables to a woman that is not Kim Chaewon. He feels irritated, balling his hands into fists as he tries not to drown in this pool of opposing collisions that is making his head spin. She left. But she’s his real mom. She left. But I love her.  

“You’re disgusting” He spits out, getting up from the couch.

“W-what?” You utter, shaking your head and trying to digest the situation.

“I trusted you and you brainwashed him. I knew you were a monster.” Yoongi walks over in a fit of rage and grabs Taehyung’s arm forcefully, dragging the kid out of your apartment before you’re brain could even register what was going on.

Yoongi doesn’t think twice about clearing things up. There’s nothing to clear up, it was obvious you had eyes for Taehyung, and you were this creepy woman taking advantage of a little boy who’s mother you resembled so uncannily.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Taehyung asks the moment Yoongi slams the door.

“Tae, that lady is not your mother.”

“I know,” He answers matter-of-factly. “But she’s nice and she takes care of me, and I really like her.” His bottom lip quivers as he looks at Yoongi with puppy-eyes, wondering why his father was so angry.

It’s not surprising that Taehyung doesn’t remember his real mother. Yoongi doesn't even know if the boy is even aware of what a mother is, what a mother should do, or even what a mother even represents because he’s never been brave enough to address the events that happened when his son was barely old enough to talk. He was convinced that it would go unnoticed; that Taehyung wouldn’t think his small family of two was strange or different from the societal norm. How fucking stupid for him to think that. Like the boy wouldn’t grow up to notice everyone else had two parents when he was only left with one, or he wouldn’t wonder why other children would call one of their parents “mommy” and the other one “daddy”. Or why Yoongi couldn’t look him in the eyes and tell him how he came into this world. 

He’s a fool to think everything would just magically go away, and he would never have to face his problems head on. 

…

 Past

“You supported my dreams back then! What? Have you changed your mind because I’m not as successful as you had hoped???” Yoongi accuses, trying to keep his voice low so he wouldn’t wake up the baby sleeping in the next room. He was angry with himself more than anything, but Chaewon’s words had hit his most vulnerable spots for weeks now and he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“That’s when I thought you were actually going to do something with your life!”

“I am” Yoongi cries, desperately trying to stop this from turning into another full blown argument.

But Chaewon’s harsh words don’t impede. “My parents kicked me out of the house, and now you can’t even keep a roof over my head! How do you expect me to live the rest of my life like this?!”

“Chaewon” Yoongi begs, gripping onto her arm as if she was his lifeline. “I’m trying, I really am… please…” Yoongi is about to get down on his knees because he can’t let her throw him away like a piece of trash. She was the only person he had, and the past few months have been hell with him being stuck in the longest artistic slump he’s ever hit and Chaewon attempting to get any part-time job she can while still taking care of the baby after her long shifts. Yoongi knows it’s all his fault, and he knows Kim Chaewon deserves a better life, and that he has no one to blame but himself for dragging the love of his life down into this misfortunate hellhole with him because he was selfish and didn’t want to let her go.

“I was an idiot to believe an loser like you.” 

And then she’s gone, leaving Yoongi in a place darker than hell.

 …

 Present

Yoongi doesn’t know why he’s standing outside your door, hesitating to knock and mulling over whether or not he should just run back to the elevator and pretend you never existed and hope that Taehyung forgets about you too, but his conscience is eating him alive, and his son obviously won’t let it go.

“Why can’t I go over to Y/N’s house?”

“Why can’t I play with Jimin anymore?”

“Why are you sad?”

It took him two days to weigh out his options, finally deciding that apologizing to you was easier than having to make up stupid answers for that endless string of questions that keep pouring out of Taehyung’s mouth like a faucet he can’t turn off and then constantly justifying them to not only the toddler but also to himself.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, pinches his nose bridge and lifts a finger to ring the doorbell.

“Y-Yoongi?”

“Y/N, uh, hi, ummm, so about those things I said the other day...” Yoongi takes another deep breath as you stare at him, waiting for him to finish. “I’m sorry. I overreacted.”

“It’s ok” You gently reply. “I’d react the same way if my kid did that.”

Yoongi finally has the guts to lift his eyes to trace over your calm features, and he feels like he’s foreign territory because for the first time he sees you for you and not someone else. “Do you mind if I come in?” What the hell was he saying? It’s like someone else was controlling his mouth.

“Of course.” You open the door wider, moving out of the way so the weary looking male can enter.

“She left us.” Yoongi says as you offer him a cup of freshly brewed tea. He doesn’t know why he’s being so open to you. He’s barely ever even been honest to himself, but he’s starting to convince himself that he’s willing to try sorting out a past he can’t hide from any longer because sooner or later, it’s bound to come back with a vengeance. “It was my fault for not providing her the life she deserved.”

“Min Taehyung’s mother?”

“Kim” Yoongi swallows. “Kim Taehyung.”

And maybe it’s also because you mysteriously make his exhausted heart feel like it had found light once again, beating with a kind of fervor that he was convinced had left forever.

“I can tell you loved her very much.” You whisper.

“With all my heart.”

“I’m sorry.” The words sound generic, and you honestly don’t know what else to say. You didn’t have all the details and you barely knew the man, but the shadow covering his eyes is something you desperately want to help him get rid of, and even if you can’t, you at least want to try.

 …

 When Yoongi’s first song for Beyond the Scene is finished and their album is finally released, BigHit decides to hold a showcase to promote their new concept, which also happens to be their transition into the next era.

“You got me tickets!?” You exclaim, eyes glittering at the yellow slip pinched between Yoongi’s fingers.

“You said you were a fan.” He shrugs.

You wrap your arms around him before your rational mind can weigh out the effects of such an action. You were clearly too excited to thank him in any other way, and you didn’t think he was the kind to oppose physical contact, that is, until you feel his body tense under your embrace. He doesn’t reciprocate the action and you suspect you’ve taken it too far too soon.

You slowly start unravel your arms. “S-sorry” But before you can take a step back; Yoongi grabs your arm and pulls you back into a tight hug.

“Why?” He smiles, patting you on the back and making you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

He even starts inviting you over for dinner on nights he was motivated enough to cook a special meal for Taehyung, claiming to “not want to have to deal with too many leftovers”. But you kind of knew he purposefully prepared a meal for three, because he always made three of everything, no more, no less.

“So who’s your favorite member?” He asks, picking up a piece of beef and putting it into Taehyung’s steaming rice bowl.

“Of Beyond the Scene?” Hm...” You ponder over the difficult answer. “I know there are only four of them, but this is the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.”

Yoongi chuckles. “They're not even similar. Why is it so hard?”

“Well, they’re all super talented and good looking!” You defend. “And each of them adds something new to the table.”

“True” He nods. “But if you knew what they were really like…”

“I know they’re complete dorks.” You roll your eyes.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the million videos they’ve put up online of them doing nothing but messing around. Sometimes I question why they have so many fans.”

“It’s partially because of their music, and the fact that they’re so real.” You explain. “But back to your question, I think my bias has to be Hoseok. He’s literally a ball of sunshine. Or maybe Namjoon because he’s so smart.”

“Hoseok and Namjoon?” Yoongi cocks a brow. “I would’ve taken you to be more of a Seokjin fan.”

“Why’s that?” 

“His face is attractive?” Yoongi makes an I-don’t-know gesture.

You shake your head. “Who’s your favorite then?”

“Jungkook” Yoongi replies. “I didn’t like him at first, but I’ve grown used to his playful antics.”

“That youngest? You clearly have a soft spot for the young ones.” You laugh, peering over at Taehyung who had no idea what you guys were talking about.

 …

 On the day of the showcase, you’re more anxious than you’ve ever been. Out of all the years you been a fan, you never imagined you would one day come across the opportunity to see your favorite idols live. It was the most amazing feeling ever, and it was all thanks to Min Yoongi.

The songs they performed were amazing, and although it was different from their usual sound, you could somehow tell Yoongi was the mastermind behind all of the pieces. There was just something about the emotions conveyed by the beat and lyrics that spoke to you on a deeper level than any of their previous songs. Maybe it was because you had caught a glimpse of the man behind the music on a personal level beforehand or maybe he was just a skilled enough artist to create such beautiful tunes.

“Daddy, I need to pee” Taehyung whines as the third song ends and the members had stopped to introduce themselves one by one.

“Ok, we’ll find you a bathroom.” Yoongi responds. He turns to you. “I’ll be right back. 

You nod, eyes still fixed on the four idols on stage.

The quiet that hits Yoongi is a striking contrast to the raucous arena, as the large doors slam shut. He’s casually looking around to find a bathroom when his gaze lands on someone that makes his heart skip several beats. This can’t be real.

And Yoongi thinks it might be his imagination because there’s no way Kim Chaewon was standing ten feet in front of him just as he exits the auditorium with Taehyung following closely behind. His body freezes up, and his throat is constricting to the point where he can’t tell if he’s still breathing.

“Yoongi”

The voice is just as familiar as it sounded two years ago.

“Chaewon?”

“Congratulations on all of this” She gestures at the crowd of screaming fangirls and flashing stage lights across the heavy metal doors.  

“H-How did you…? W-Why…?” He can’t even form a coherent question because his brain had stopped functioning normally.

“I can recognize your music from anywhere.” She says, flashing Yoongi a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Yoongi can feel Taehyung’s grip on the hem of his pant leg as he hides behind his father, looking at the women curiously. “I don’t doubt that, but…”

“Is that…?” She ignores his state of shock and bends over to wave at Taehyung. “Tae!” She beams.  

“H-Hi” The little boy responds shyly, clearly not recognizing the women the way she expected him to.

“He’s grown up so well” She sighs, straightening up once again. “If you’re not busy, would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me? So we can, I don’t know, chat?”

Yoongi hesitates. He wants to reject her offer because he knows you’re still waiting for him in the crowd, but he can’t get himself to say no, not when he clearly still has feelings for the woman who left him years ago and is now suddenly back within reach.

 …

 “She came back.” Yoongi says. “I’m sorry I left without telling you.”

“Oh, Chaewon, right?” You swallow, trying not to make things awkward between the two of you. “It’s totally fine. She must’ve been really happy to see you and Tae.”

Yoongi nods, eyes still trained at the ground. He was standing outside your doorway late at night, wanting to make sure you got home safely after he had left the showcase so unexpectedly.

“Hey, no hard feelings.” You console him, despite your own voice cracking ever so slightly. You had waited for him for hours after the showcase, but he didn’t need to know that.

“You didn’t wait for me for too long did you?”

4 hours.

“No, of course not.” You pretend to make it sound absurd, shaking your head and waving it off like it was no big deal. “I figured something must have come up.”

Yoongi nods.

“So umm, good-night?” You speak after a long drawn out silence.

“Yeah. Good-night.”

 …

 Yoongi can’t fall asleep that night, and it’s not because he’s thinking about Kim Chaewon coming back into his life and throwing him in complicated shit again, surprisingly, he’s more concerned about you and what you are to him, because he already knows what Chaewon is, more or less. But you on the other hand, you were still shrouded in a misty veil, one created by life’s endless intersections and obstacles. And the universe wasn’t going to give him a break anytime soon, but maybe that’s exactly what he needed to find the right path.

His thoughts flash back to what Chaewon had said to him at the coffee shop.

“We do stupid things when we’re young, but that doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t love.” 

Yoongi stares off into the distance, not knowing why her words were not affecting him the way he expected them to.

“Keyword, had”

“Yoongi, I made a mistake. I still have feelings for you, and I know you do too because otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

He nods slowly, absorbing the honeyed words that were seeping out of the woman’s mouth, and making him really consider the exact thing she was saying.

It was nothing short of the truth, he loved Kim Chaewon and undoubtedly still does. But he has always loved her because he thought she loved him for him, plain and unadorned, when in reality, she was always more in love with his music than anything. And don’t get him wrong, he knows that anyone who has the capacity to love and appreciate his music has to have that special connection with his innermost self, but that holds true for any fan and the musician they look up to. And it took the event of her coming back after he had finally found success to make him realize she was only a crossroad and not the moon itself. Because what happens when Yoongi stops composing one day, what will transpire when he’s too old to produce songs and create the art that she loved him for, will she leave again?

 Yoongi’s not about to find out.

 …

 You don’t see Yoongi for a couple of days, and you knew exactly why. It didn’t make you feel any better knowing the reason, but there was that annoying nagging feeling tugging at your heart that you’ve convinced yourself isn’t categorized as jealously, disappointment, or longing. Stop being absurd.

Yoongi is not yours, he never was and never will be. Was it really that hard to accept the fact that he couldn’t fall in love with you when he was still in love with another woman? Yes. No. Does it make it any more justifiable that he maybe would’ve given you a chance had that woman no returned? Yes. No.

“Wake up, Y/N.” You mutter to yourself as you take the elevator down to grab a package that had arrived.

“Looks like I beat you to the chase.” The familiar voice startles you, almost causing you to drop the house keys your were twirling in your fingers.

“Oh, Yoongi” You gasp, clutching your chest like he almost gave you a heart attack.

“I was just about to look for you.” He bites his lower lip, preparing to say something he’s been running through in his head for the past few days.

“Is something wrong?”

“Life is full of crossroads...” Yoongi swallows, wanting to make this whole speech poetic, but he’s too nervous to function for reasons he’s fully aware of but does not have control over. He hasn’t confessed to anyone in a long time, and even then, he’s only every done it once in his life, to that other woman he’s slowly started to place in another section of his heart to make room center stage for you. “Ah, fuck it.” He mutters. “I’ve made mistakes in the past because I used to be the kind of person to be consumed by people the same way I’m consumed by my passions. I tend to place people on the wrong pedestal, and I have a hard time letting go of first loves. But if you are willing, I want to try for us, because I think I’ve finally found the moon after passing many crossroads.”

There’s a long pause because your mind is blank and your heart is racing. You continue to stare at the man standing awkwardly in front of you, gripping onto the box that had just been delivered as if he was the mail carrier, and you don’t think anything can be more endearing than this.

“But umm, if you’re not down, it’s totally ok too. I know this is strange and sudden, and I’m totally just freaking you out right now because. Aw, fuck.” Yoongi’s eyes squeeze close and he tilts his head up. 

Scratch that. Said man all choked up as he’s trying to confess despite his debilitating nerves is something even more endearing.

“I’m totally down.” You respond, trying to hold in a laugh as you take the box away from him. “So I’m your moon? Is this going to be Beyond the Scene’s next album concept? Or did you just run out of real ideas.” You playfully nudge him in the arm.

Yoongi smiles, gummy and jubilant, and the universe shimmering within his eyes at that moment is, without a doubt, even more breathtaking than his music.

...

[shuga-heart]

Christmas Cookies

Yo, happy holidays everyone! This is for @reaper76rp​, I was your secret santa this year for @r76secretsanta​! It’s short and sweet, I hope you enjoy! Summary: After working hard on Christmas Eve, Gabe and Jack finally get to come back to HQ, and find a heartwarming surprise waiting to wrap them up, and finally let them relax.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, 2 am to be precise. Nothing was stirring, no cat and no mice. That was, however, only true in theory, as out in the streets two soldiers were delivering some special Christmas fury. Stars twinkled high in the sky while the remains of Omnics flew absolutely awry. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, now 2:45 if I may, and these fantastic super soldiers could finally put their weapons perfectly at bay. It was time for a break, for a Vacation one might say, and it seems both men had every intention of staying warm and sleeping straight through Christmas day… WHAM! The door slammed open at unfathomable speeds, nearly breaking right off the already rickedy hinges, the doorknob meeting a well painted wall and promptly denting it. Two tall men walked into the room, groaning underneath of their breath, their bones chilled right down to the core. It was nearly 3 in the fucking morning, and only now were they able to get back to headquarters and take a damn break. Neither of them wanted to work on Christmas eve, in fact both Jack and Gabe only really wanted to laze around, but fate obviously had differing ideas. However, Reyes and Morrison were treated to something quaint and delightful, that was after Gabriel kicked the damn door in with his snow-covered boot. The entire living quarters was decorated with a spread of Christmas decorations, and it was obvious that the whole team had pitched in. From the precisely placed lights, and red and green banners obviously done by both Captain Amari and Lieutenant Wilhelm- to the pretty damn messy tree job courtesy of Genji and McCree, there was nothing in the entire world that looked more welcoming, or warmer to a pair of cold soldiers. In fact, the most enticing factor had to be the brightly burning fireplace. Flames of bright oranges and yellow bellowed from atop small logs of wood, giving the room the perfect glow it needed, the cherry atop the cake. Morrison’s eyebrows furrowed together slightly as he looked over at all the hard work the team had put into decorating the room, and so late at night, with a small, quaint and tired smile spreading slowly across his lips. “They really didn’t have to decorate the place..” Jack started, feeling his back crack as he stretched, walking into the warmly lit living room. Reyes made his way into the kitchen as Jack placed his gear down beside the well-worn couch. “These guys put too much work into it. I mean, when’s the last time you even saw this fireplace working?” Jack called back to Gabe, chuckling under his breath as he walked over to the fire, placing his hands in front of the open yet controlled flames. “Never actually seen that damn thing work.” Gabe started, leaning against the counter as he emptied a water bottle between his lips, allowing it to crinkle quietly. “It looked so old I’m surprised it didn’t crumble on impact, kinda like you.” Jack heard Gabe snort audibly from the kitchen, and he turned around on his heels faster than a dog being called for dinner. His feet, still heavy with snow, then made their way over to the occupied kitchen, keeping his eyes on the sly, tired man leaning back against the counter. “You know, I’m not that old, Reyes.” Jack started, rolling his eyes although it was impossible to stop the smile that was making its way across his lips. “We’re like the same age, anyways. You totally just called yourself old.” Morrison walked in front of Gabe, leaning over him as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling the colder man close. “Yeah, I might have, but my plan to get your flat ass over here worked, didn’t it?” Gabe’s eyebrow raised and he smirked, even if it was just a little, placing a kiss against the pale man’s cheek as scruff sent little shivers down his spine. Jack let out a soft huff of exasperation. “You didn’t have to try and insult me to get me over here, Gabriel. You know damn well I would’ve walked my ‘flat ass’ over here if you asked.” He shook his head as he spoke, smiling just the slightest bit wider, running his hands down the Gabriel’s back before allowing their lips to oh-so softly meet. The two spent the next few minutes in silence, enjoying the embrace that was quickly growing warm. They shared small kisses and light hearted jokes, and it was only halted by Gabriel having caught something out of the corner of his eye. As his hands ran down Morrison’s sides, he pulled away with a soft hold on, walking over to the other kitchen counter. Jack watched with slightly bated breath, keeping a single eyebrows raised curiously. “..Jack, they made us fucking cookies. The cowboy baked us cookies.” Gabriel sounded honest to god surprised at what he’d found, and Jack couldn’t really believe it, until he walked his ass over and saw it himself. “Well I’ll be damned…” Jack said absentmindedly, looking down, “Your son really did make a plate of cookies.” Placed promptly on the counter had been a freshly washed red and white plate that was decorated with what looked and smelled like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. A cup of milk that was of questionable quality sat beside it, as well as a handwritten note that seemed to be of McCree’s penmanship,made obvious by the messy handwriting and the western slang. It read, quite simply: “To the real bringers’a joy this year. Stay warm, Commanders, whenever y’manage t’get home.” Gabe stared at the note for a moment, taking it in- him and the “cowboy” had a weird, rocky relationship. It wasn’t bad, per say, it was actually quite good and it was more of a father and son sort of connection than close friends. Any time McCree would get his ass busted, Gabe had to rush out of whatever he was doing and bail that bitch out before he was taken to prison, or to court for the third time that week. McCree was always a pain in the ass, and despite just how much Gabe may try to hide his fondness for the kid, Jack knew, and Gabe did somewhere deep down in him, that Reyes loved Jesse like his own son. Gabe scoffed under his breath, lightly placing the note down on the countertop and grabbing the entire plate of cookies. “Don’t say jack shit about the note, Morrison.” Gabe started, stuffing a cookie between his lips as he walked over to the couch, sitting down with a slightly grumpy aura to him. Jack followed, shaking his head with a small smile. “I didn’t plan on it,” he started, slowly taking his spot next to Reyes. They’d been sitting right across from the fire, and the warmth was easy to feel. The room had a soft, relaxing sense of warmth to it, even if Gabe had a little stick up his ass. “..although that was really sweet of hi-” Gabriel cut Jack off by shoving a cookie between his yapping lips, causing the blonde's eyes to widen a bit in surprise. He looked down at the cookie hanging out of his mouth, and figured it’d be better to keep his trap shut, and just eat the damn sweet. He slowly pushed the rest of the chocolate chip sweet into his mouth, relaxing against the couch, slowly draping an arm around Gabe who leaned into it in due time, even if he was a bit stubborn and a bit reluctant. The two spent the rest of the night like that, at peace with one another. After about 10 minutes or so, Gabriel had draped a blanket around the pair, and leaned promptly on Jack’s shoulder. He relaxed against the warmth of his beloved fellow Commander, and Jack made sure to keep him closer than his pride. The night went on, and as morning began to creep up on the horizons through closed curtains, Gabe and Jack ended up drifting off into what would be the best sleep of their entire damn lives. They did, indeed, sleep right into Christmas, but it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that the both of them were warm, the both of them were safe and sound, and most importantly, the both of them would be able to spend the rest of their lives together, for as long as fate allows.

[zecretsanta]

The Storykeeper

To: @silvershoelaces

From: @morisninethlion

I was super excited to get to work on this one! The question of what happened to Alice and Clover after VLR has been on my mind since i first finished, and got even more strong after I played ZTD, so I was super pumped up to finally have reason to write something out for it! I hope you like it, and I hope you have a great holiday season :D

Ao3

It had been a few hours after Sigma’s consciousness had gotten traded with the Doctor’s when she and Alice were approached by Akane inside the lounge, Clover stiffening up almost immediately. Everything about this situation was frustrating- after all the crap she’d lived through, she and Alice were now stuck forty-five years in a future without anyone they knew. They’d been completely left behind- and even Phi, who should’ve been in a similar situation, had closed herself off completely.

Tenmyouji- no, Junpei- and Quark were waiting in the B. garden for their shuttle to earth to be prepared, and Luna had been watching over Kyle while he slept. Dio was locked up somewhere, but Clover didn’t care about him. No, it was just her and Alice trying to figure out what in the world they could possibly do, when Akane walked in.

“Good afternoon.”

“Oh, uh… hey.” She still didn’t really know how to talk to Akane like this, honestly. She seemed too dignified (and not to mention old), and it was hard to really think of her like the same girl from the nonary game. “Were you looking for Junpei, or something? He’s not here, he’s-“

“No, I came to speak with the two of you.”

“Huh?” Raising an eyebrow, Clover quickly looked over to Alice, who only seemed to be sharing the same guarded confusion. “Why would you want to talk to us?”

“I have information I believe will be of interest to the two of you.”

Clover quickly tugged at Alice’s hand, the both of them turning aside from Akane to speak together for just a moment. Neither of them were really sure if they could trust her- but could it really hurt to listen at this point? There was nothing more they could possibly lose, not at this point. Eventually it was Clover taking the lead again, looking back to Akane.

“Alright then.”

 Akane seemed almost vaguely amused with herself- or perhaps Clover was just reading her entirely wrong? Honestly, it was impossible to tell what Akane was thinking.

“To start, I can imagine you aren’t pleased with your situation, but-“

“Not pleased? Not pleased?” Clover rose to her feet with a huff, clenching her fists. “You bet your ass I’m not pleased! You drag us out of our own time just to dump us like this- and you think we’d be pleased with this?! You made me play another nonary game! You, of all people, should know that I am EXPLICITLY NOT PLEASED WITH THIS!”

There still wasn’t any readable change of expression on Akane’s face, but she had taken a step back- it’d seem like not even she saw Clover’s outburst. She felt herself calm slightly when Alice placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her- but she could feel the same anger from Alice, just calmer. More refined.

“I do apologize, Clover. But your presence was necessary for our plan-“

“Well fat lot of good it did us! Doesn’t the fact that we’re here mean you already failed?”

“…..yes. However, that is not what I wanted to talk with you about.”

“Then what did you want to talk about?”

“A chance for you to regain your lost time.”

Clover was knocked speechless at such a ridiculous-sounding statement, so Alice began speaking instead.

“What are you talking about? Isn’t that impossible?”

“No, it is not. On earth, there’s a machine- with its use, it is possible for you to return to your lost past.” Akane shook her head gently, lacing her fingers together as she spoke. “However, there are conditions to it before I tell you more.”

 “Alright then, what are those?”

“Firstly, you must accept the results given to you. You may return to the past, or you may continue on this time- your existence will continue from both points in time, so your consciousness might not be the version that moves to the past. Second, you must not abuse this machine. Continued use could have the potential for unforeseen side-effects, that not even I could understand. Finally… you cannot leave this timeline.”

Stomping her foot in frustration, Clover cut in.

“What? I thought the entire point of this was to get us off this timeline!”

“No. You must agree to simply move to a far earlier point on this same timeline- The day the outbreak began.”

“Why would we ever agree to something like that? I don’t want to live on a timeline like this-“

“It is not because I want you to suffer. It is simply because this is the only timeline where your existence will not cause a contradiction.”

“…what?”

“In past uses of this machine, people always went to timelines where the selves that originally existed there had already died. As a result, there was no potential for contradiction. I only know of one person who didn’t follow this logic- a rather foolish man, who simply avoided his past self for a year of his life.”

Despite her words, there seemed to be a slight hint of amusement behind Akane’s words. Whoever this ‘foolish man’ had been, it would seem like Akane didn’t think poorly of him- or perhaps Clover was just misinterpreting things again.

“So, you’re saying that if we moved to a different timeline and saw ourselves, time would get screwy?”

“I don’t know.”

“….what?” Clover stared blankly before looking over to Alice, who only shrugged. “What do you mean you don’t know?!”

“I mean, this isn’t something I have ever experimented with. The results could be entirely harmless, or it could result in an entire timeline’s collapse. The chances are high that you wouldn’t live through the encounter- I doubt the morphogenetic fields would know how to process the information of such a meeting.”

“So…. If I saw my double, I’d run the risk of destroying the entire world?”

“Potentially, yes.”

“…okay. Okay, sure.” Frustrated, Clover folded her arms. “So you’re telling me you know of some sort of nondescript time machine that can send us back in time, but we can only use it to move back to this timeline, otherwise we might accidentally destroy a world or something.”

“Yes, that’s how to put it simply.”

“Are you serious?” With a huff, Clover finally sat herself back down. “How could we possibly believe something like that? It’s insane!”

“You believe us about the earth-“

“That’s different! I can see that with my own eyes- it’s hard, but it’s real. This, though? There’s no way any of that’s real- just… just go away. Stop messing around, Akane. We played our part, helped you guys out… so just leave us alone. Stop doing this.”

“Well.” Seeming to realize she was no longer welcome, Akane gave a slight shrug. “I suppose I expected as much. Still, I would’ve expected you to be more the type to take the chance.”

She walked out, leaving Clover and Alice alone. The older woman sat down beside Clover, and the mood only seemed to get more depressing.

“Alice… do you think she was lying?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I can’t say it at all sounds plausible… but I didn’t think cryogenic freezing had been perfected either. And yet, here we are…”

“Yeah… but a time machine?”

“It doesn’t sound too realistic, does it…”

“No, it doesn’t.” Clover started to wring her fingers in the way she often did when nervous or thinking about things, eyes scanning the floor for nothing in particular. “It doesn’t make any sense at all, but… does she really have any reason to lie?”

“…at this point, not really.”

Both of them sighed in unison, taking a moment to pause and just think.

“Alice… I… I know I just yelled at her, but… it wouldn’t hurt to at least learn more, right?”

“The worst that could happen is nothing happening, as far as I can tell. I hardly imagine she’d plan to throw us into another game.”

“Yeah…”

“Then… do you want to talk to her about it?”

“I… I do. This might… be my only chance, after all.” She didn’t want to say it, but she hadn’t been able to get in contact at all with Light. She’d just been hoping that it was due to the resonance effect- but the chance that it wasn’t and that something bad had happened to him was all too terrifying. “I just… even if it’s a cruel joke, I… want to at least have a chance at knowing……”

Finding themselves once again at a reluctant consensus, they both got up- they’d just have to find Akane, and get more information out of her. And hopefully this all wouldn’t turn out to be some sort of horrible, horrible joke.

–

It was in this method that they’d found themselves joining Junpei and Quark on the shuttle back to earth, after having gotten plenty of detailed instructions written out by Akane, as well as precise coordinates of where they were supposed to go. They’d asked her why she wasn’t coming with them- but she’d just waved it off with an ‘its not my place anymore’, leaving both Clover and Alice to assume she simply didn’t want to be trapped in a shuttle with Junpei for many long hours.

It’d seemed like Junpei didn’t want to talk much himself, though- he’d sat down in his seat fairly quickly after takeoff and not said a word since, outside of a few words to Quark that’d been too quiet for Clover to make out.

Still, despite the somewhat awkward mood, Clover still found herself fascinated by the trip. After all, this was space- certainly not something she’d ever expected to experience! It was almost surreal to watch the moon grow smaller behind them as the ship flew, the red earth on the other side of the horizon growing slowly bigger.

“So, Quark, what was it like living with Junpei?”

“Huh? Oh, Grandpa’s great!”

Quark had gotten out of his seat to look out of the window with Clover, both of them holding onto a railing to keep from floating aimlessly.

“I still find it hard to believe… I mean, not just Junpei being old, but him actually having kids…”

“Oh, actually, Grandpa adopted me.”

“O-Oh? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“It’s okay. We’re still a family.” His smile was large, although it couldn’t stop Clover entirely from feeling bad. “So, you and Alice are coming to live on earth too?”

“Well… it’s a bit more complicated than that. But… kinda, yes?”

“…okay!”

If it worked, they’d go back in time and live through the end of the world. If it didn’t, then they’d… well, probably just hang around Junpei and Quark. There was the option of going back to the moon, yes- but it was… a little awkward. Phi had shut herself off, Luna seemed to be far more awkward and reserved than she’d been before, and there was the obvious problem of Akane and Sig- Doctor Klim being around. It just wasn’t a situation that had sounded enjoyable to either of them to remain in, even if living on earth hardly sounded pleasant either.

The trip was largely uneventful, broken up only by low conversation and the sounds of Junpei snoring at the five hour mark, having fallen asleep. Alice stayed in her seat a majority of the time, but Clover found herself just fascinated by watching the window. This was… space. She’d seen pictures and videos as a kid, heard things about the space stations and stuff out there- but it had never even crossed her mind that she’d be able to actually go to space.

Junpei was woken up by a little announcement coming on that they’d soon be re-entering the earth’s atmosphere, giving a warning to buckle up as if this was a simple plane ride across the country or something, and not through space. She did as the voice said, sitting herself down and buckling herself in, looking over to Alice nervously.

The landing was rough compared to an airplane, but still smoother than she’d expected. Quark and Junpei didn’t even look too horribly put out- Quark was just bouncing in his seat, presumably from excitement.

He was the first one off the shuttle when the announcement said it was safe, jumping out of his seat with the amount of energy she would’ve expected from a kid around his age and running outside. Next out was Junpei, just pausing for a moment to see if they were following.

When they finally stepped out onto the pavement of the landing area, everything seemed to stop for a moment.

There had been a degree of plausible deniability from the shuttle, and from the moon. They could just say that the visors were faked, or the window was really a screen- but no. No, looking up at the sky with their own eyes proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that what had happened to the earth was no lie. The world truly had ended.

Junpei didn’t say anything for a while, silent as Quark ran off towards an old-looking pickup truck a short ways off. There was nothing that could truly be said to someone experiencing this for the first time- and Clover could only imagine what it had been like to live through the things that had brought the world to this point.

They stood in silence for what felt like hours until finally Junpei called them over, standing outside of the old pickup.

“I’m driving this time, Clover.” There was a grin on his face when he spoke, as if attempting to break the tension heavy in the air. “Can’t have you busting this thing up like you did that poor Jeep.”

“Hey! I didn’t break it- it just got a little dirty!”

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I trust your driving.”

Clover turned to look to Alice for support, but she only chuckled and gave Clover a pat on the back. She wasn’t that bad- yeah, maybe she’d gone a little fast, but that was just because there was no speed limit in the desert! She’d drive more carefully with a kid on board… but to be honest, she didn’t really want to drive. She didn’t know this place at all, and… well, she wanted some time to take it in. Really absorb what she was looking at, because just a few moments wasn’t nearly enough.

The drive away from the landing pad was about three hours, being mostly silent as all the passengers just looked out the windows at the passing scenery. Skyscrapers were destroyed, houses and apartments collapsed in on themselves… the buildings that weren’t ruined showed clear wear and tear from the years, with weeds and shrubs overgrown and pushing through cracks in pavement.

It was a bit surprising how many plants there actually were- but then again, Junpei had said the nuclear winter was seven years long, so it had to’ve ended a long time ago… there were plenty of dead trees and bushes, but not all of them were dead.

The only real noise inside the truck, outside of the rumble of the engine, was when the sound of the radio picked up. It seemed to be something generic, talking about something to do with a place Clover didn’t recognise the name of- Junpei let out a slight grunt of acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything more. Perhaps that was where they were headed, then? She hadn’t really thought about it, but the place probably had a name… but she wasn’t going to be staying there.

After a while the truck started to slow, entering a run-down looking town area. Clover didn’t pay much attention to the turns they were making until they pulled into a driveway to a rather small house, turning the truck off and getting out.

“Well? We’re here.”

“This is… the place?”

“No, this is my house. I’m tired, I’m not driving you there today.”

“Aha.. fair enough.”

Despite the look on the outside, the inside of the house was… strangely normal. Sure, the paints and wallpapers were faded, and some parts of the house looked like they had a permanent layer of dust to them, but it was just… a normal house. A place that people lived.

“I, uh, I’ve only got one guest bedroom, but I’ll sleep on the couch-“

“No, it’s fine.” Alice smiled, shaking her head. “I’ll sleep on the couch. I couldn’t impose on you like that.”

“It’s not really…” He paused when he saw the look on Alice’s face, before just shrugging and scratching at the back of his head. “Alright then. I’ll grab a couple blankets for you though, it can get cold at night.”

“Thank you.”

He left the guest room at that point, Clover seated on the bed and Alice standing by an old-looking desk.

“I could’ve taken the couch, Alice.”

“Nonsense. I’m not going to let my subordinate take the couch while I get a bed, that would hardly be fair.”

“I… Alice, I don’t think we really need to talk like that anymore, do we?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean… is there any point to it? At this point, SOIS is… gone for sure.” She sighed, shoulders heavy. “I don’t work for you anymore, not really.”

“I… suppose.” She paused, looking aside. “But still, I’m not going to let you take the couch.”

There was a long silence, eventually broken by Quark knocking at the door and announcing that there was food. The meal itself was short and simple, and they all went to sleep directly after- even if there were countless things swirling in Clover’s mind, she couldn’t bring herself to ask anything. So instead she just stared up at the ceiling until sleep finally came for her, pulling her under.

–

They were all up fairly early the next day- despite how fast Clover’s mind had been she’d ended up sleeping well, but that didn’t stop her from being up far earlier than she normally was. Junpei had already started on breakfast by the time she was there, yet another simple meal that they ate quickly, before Junpei and Quark left for about a half-hour. Quark wasn’t with him when Junpei returned- he’d dropped Quark off with a friend, it seemed. Clover couldn’t blame him for it, if she’d had her kid go through a nonary game, then she’d be taking no chances.

He’d looked… frustrated when he seemed to realize where the coordinates Akane had given them led, and Clover couldn’t say she was too fond of returning to the Nevada desert herself. It somehow looked more barren and desolate than she even remembered… and in the middle of it all was what seemed to be a hole in the ground.

“Of course it’s here…”

“What’s here?” It looked like Junpei hadn’t wanted either of them to hear it, but that wouldn’t stop Clover from asking. “Have you been here before?”

“Yeah… once. This is…. Well, this isn’t where the Mars simulation took place, but it’s where I ended up.”

“Wait, what? I, uh… back up a little there, Junpei.”

“This is where everything… the end of everything started here, from what I gather. This is where radical-6 got out.”

“And Akane wanted us to come back?”

“Apparently so.”

Junpei stopped answering questions after that, only giving halfhearted grunts in response to whatever they had to say. It was pretty clear that there was no point in saying much more- so they all stood in silence as the platform they were on started up, acting as a lift and taking them down, down, down into the depths.

Everything about the place down there looked… off. One of the walls was just a pile of collapsed rubble, another was a gaping hole where a large metal door looked like it’d been blown off- and it was faint, but along the ground were what looked like bloodstains. Junpei paid them no real mind, continuing to walk forwards, but it was clear he was bothered by something.

The instructions told them where to go inside the place, staring at the large walls of what was clearly some sort of shelter.

“Tenmyouji, what is this place?”

“I’m… not sure. I don’t remember.”

“You don’t- are you just kidding around?”

“No, I’m not.” His face grew dark for a moment, before shaking his head. “I can’t remember a thing. I’ve been trying to remember for fourty-five years now, but still… I don’t. I don’t remember a thing.”

“Oh…”

They went silent yet again, walking through the dust-covered halls. There was something decidedly uncomfortable about the place to Clover, almost as if it were a memorial, or…  a tomb. But no- that was silly. Just silly.

They reached a room that seemed even more off than the rest, with the same tall structure and weird ‘pods’ that Akane had described in her letter to them. They went through the instructions that she left and got the device to power up… but was this really a good idea?

No, there was no real turning back now. They had to do this.

“Hey, Junpei?”

“Mh?”

“Thanks. For taking us out here- you didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it. I really do.”

He simply shrugged and nodded, waving as Alice and Clover got into the pods as per the instructions. She couldn’t shake the anxiety, it was insane- but they had to do this. If they were going to reclaim those last forty-five years, then they would do this.

Closing her eyes as the pod around her started to grow bright, Clover let that be the last thought in her mind before things went dark.

–

–

“Clover? Clover, are you okay?”

“Mnnh… huh?” Clover blinked when the door to the pod opened up, realizing something off- she was in the export pod… right? Yes, there was no doubt about it, she most certainly was. “Alice, did it work? Are we- is this the past?”

“From what I can tell, yes… at the very least, this place doesn’t look nearly as dusty.”

“Well then, let’s…”

Anxiety was gripping tightly at Clover’s chest, but she shook it off. They both did- they made way back outside, back out past the collapsed wall and the blown-off door… and out to the currently fresh bloodstains.

“What… the hell happened here?”

There was a lot of blood, enough to imply that people had most certainly died. Were they… had they been the first radical-6 victims, perhaps? Or did they have something to do with that collapsed wall… no, there was no point dwelling. They couldn’t let themselves dwell.

Calling the elevator back down with held breath, Clover and Alice waited for what felt like the hundredth time that day until they were back at the surface. They were taken aback at what they saw- multiple emergency services vehicles were present, with police and ambulance and firetrucks. Before either of them could react they’d been swarmed by about ten different people at once, asking questions and demanding answers- Clover stepped back a bit behind Alice; who was far better at talking in a situation like this. She managed to clear the air on what was going on and got them a ride back to the nearest city, but now wasn’t time for that for Clover.

[Light? Light, are you th-]

[Clover! My god, Clover, what happened? Where are you? Are you alright? I’ve been trying to contact you, but-]

[It’s… it’s a long story, Light. I’m alright now, I’m with Alice, but… that’s not the thing we need to be worried about now. We need to find some place safe.]

[…safe? Clover, what are you talking about?]

[Light… it’s the end of the world.]

[No… does that mean, Free the Soul…?]

[Yeah… we were too late to stop it. What we need to do now is find someplace safe, and take care of whatever survivors we can.]

[I… I see. I’ll get in contact with the others.]

[Thanks, Light. We’ll be back soon, okay? I promise, I’ll explain everything. I promise.]

–

The two of them had gotten on a flight almost as soon as reaching the city, making way to SOIS headquarters and all of the others that they worked with. Clover ignored the concern from everyone else, though- what was most important was that she found her brother. She didn’t even wait to say hello before she’d launched herself into his arms, sobbing and holding him close.

“I’m so glad… I missed you so much, Light…”

“Clover… I’m glad you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry I worried you…”

“What matters now is that you and Alice are back. And, that we have time to figure out what will happen next.”

“Yes. About that, actually.” Alice interrupted the reunion, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. It was currently just them and the other kids from the first nonary game (sans Akane and Aoi, of course) gathered around a table, Alice standing at the head. “We need a plan. According to this, we have a general timeline of when things will happen. Our deadline is April 13th, 2029.”

She laid out the note they’d gotten from Akane, and all at once everyone was speaking on top of each other.

“How can we trust that?”

“Where did it come from?”

“Where were you guys?!”

“Is the world really going to end?”

“How could you know this, but not know how to stop it-“

“Everyone, please be quiet.” Light’s voice cut through the noise, calm and collected as always. “I don’t think there would be any reason whatsoever for Alice to want to lie about this, no? And even if that message is wrong, is preparation really a bad thing? We either be prepared for an apocalypse that doesn’t happen, or stand unprepared for one that does. And one of those options certainly sounds more pleasant than the other.”

Nobody really had grounds to argue him on that- after all, it was true. If there was even the slightest chance the note was true (as Clover and Alice knew it was), then they couldn’t take the risk. It was just too dangerous.

The meeting went on for a while after that, trying to figure out exactly what they could do. SOIS and the government had shelters prepared for the worst, in case things went wrong, so they’d decided that’s what they’d do. Each shelter would have one transmitter and one receiver to keep contact flowing in a ‘network’ of sorts… it meant they would all be split up from their siblings, but it was a pain that they would have to deal with. Besides, the shelters weren’t terribly far apart- so long as they had cars, once the worst was over, they could reunite. It would be seven long years, but… they could do it. They could handle this.

–

“Light, you… please be careful, okay? Take care of yourself?”

“I will, Clover.”

“Alright…”

She’d told him everything about the game and about the end, but she’d never mentioned one particular fact- the fact that she hadn’t been able to contact him. As far as she knew… Light would die. But so long as he lived through these seven years, it’d be fine- she just… she wanted to be there. At the very least, she figured she could deal with it if she was there.

“You’ll be careful as well, right Clover? I doubt Akane would do anything considering she has you and Alice in this timeline as well, but… don’t be careless.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Light turned to go to the supply van that was going to take him to his shelter for the next seven years, but was stopped short by Clover throwing her arms around him one last time, hugging him tight and holding him close.

“Be safe, Light. You’re the best brother in the world, you know that? I love you. Be careful.”

“Clover…” He sighed, patting her hair for a moment. “I will, I promise. I will be fine. I’ll see- well, not me, but you’ll see me again when it’s safe again. The time will go by faster than you think, I’m sure.”

“I… Alright.” Finally letting go, Clover let him start walking away. “I will see you again, Light! I will!”

Ignoring the doubt that sat in the bottom of her mind, she let herself just believe in that. It had to be true. She’d… she’d see him again.

–

The ride to her own shelter felt long, too long, accompanied only by nervous fidgeting from Nona and he sound of Clover tapping her fingers again the armrest of her seat, while Alice drove. The thing had been stocked full as it could go, and apparently the shelter itself was already well-stocked… this was more personal belongings. Lotus (no, Hazuki) and Seven (when would he give them a real name?) had ended up at different shelters, Lotus with Ennea and Seven with Light. She was glad they’d at least be safe- but even knowing that Junpei would be alive, that didn’t mean she didn’t wish that they’d been able to find him. It seemed unlikely that he’d make it into a shelter from how he’d spoken, but still… well, she’d told everyone else to make sure it got to her if a ‘Junpei Tenmyouji’ entered any of the shelters. That was enough.

Entering the thing after arriving felt… final. There were all sorts of radios and communication devices set up, a power generator that would last for (according to Alice) at least fifty years, and walls upon walls of preserved food and huge tanks of stored water, as well as things for purifying air and… well, a ton of other things Clover didn’t entirely get but was certain they were important too.

The three of them set up pretty quick inside of the place, and then just… got ready to wait. People would find out about this place sooner or later, and they’d have to filter out the sick ones… but they could do this. Even if these shelters only ended up saving a handful of people, it was something- so she’d take it.

–

There were only 12 people in their shelter the day the reactors went off- all of the other ones had far more, from what it sounded like, but their was apparently in a bit of an odd location for people to reach. They’d had the radios going when everything got loud, and then cut to static. The whole shelter was dead silent at the knowledge of what’d happened… this was really, truly the end. Even with the knowledge that it wasn’t over, the world would recover, it would never be the same. The earth as they knew it was gone now- you’d have a better luck of finding something similar on the moon eventually, from what she understood.

[Light… you there?]

[Yes. This is… it, right?]

[Yeah… yeah, it is.]

[Are you holding up alright, Clover?]

[I’m fine. I was… I was prepared for this. Are you alright?]

[As alright as I can be. I’ll be fine Clover, you know that.]

[I do. I know. How’s Seven?]

[He’s doing well. People listen to him well- turns out he’s rather good at dealing with people. Never would’ve expected that.]

[Aha, yeah..]

[How’s Alice?]

[She’s doing well too. She’s a lot better at keeping the peace than I am, at least..]

[I’m sure things will be fine, Clover.]

[Yeah… yeah. They’ll be fine.  I’ll talk to you later, okay Light?]

[Okay, Clover.]

As easy as it was to say, that didn’t make things any easier in reality. But things would be alright- they’d all make it through this. Things would be fine.

–

They’d made it up to 26 people after the first year, and 45 by the third. Less and less people seemed to show up with time, probably because they were… well, they were dead, or they’d gone to the moon. A handful of people had left at one point when the notifications about the Lunar Extraction Program went live, attempting to make it into the Rhizomes… and they’d never been heard from after. Clover could only hope that they’d managed to make it in, and not ended up dead… she didn’t have much reason to believe they were alive, but she had to have hope. So long as she could cling to that hope, then she could pull through.

And the years did pass by far more quickly than she’d expected them to, even within the confines of the little shelter. Times got tense far more often than she’d like, nobody was ever happy with their situations, but they could pull through. They had to pull through.

It was December of 2035, December second to be exact- the day that Clover had moved her birthday to, so she could share it with her brother. Nobody gave gifts or anything, but she still liked to keep it in mind- she and Light would always spend the day talking back and forth a little more than usual, trying to keep in good spirits. This year she would turn twenty-five, a whole six years after the explosions… and soon, it’d be seven years. Soon they’d be able to get out, to see the world for what’d happened… she’d be able to see her brother again. Things would turn out alright, they had to turn out alright.

“Clover, there you are.” She turned her head to look at Alice, moving to get up from her cot but stopped by Alice waving a hand. “I didn’t meant to interrupt your thinking. I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Well… happy birthday, Clover.”

“Yeah… thanks.”

“We’ll be able to get out of here soon. And everyone will be able to see their families again… we’ll be out of here soon.”

“Mmmh… hey, Alice?”

“Yes?”

“About… hm. Do you ever wish you’d gone to one of the other shelters?”

“Well, I mean, I wish I could check in on everyone. But that’s why we set things up like this, so we could stay in contact-“

“No, I mean… are you… you picked to stay with me and Nona. Why?”

“This is… a bit late to ask this question, don’t you think?”

“Please, just answer it. I want to know.”

“I picked it because… I didn’t want to just leave you all alone, Clover.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have been alone-“

“That’s not it, exactly… I wanted to stay at your side, Clover.”

“Alice… I’m… I’m glad.” She smiled, looking off to the side. “Say… do you still just think of me as your subordinate?”

“Don’t you keep saying that those things are pointless now?”

“Aha… yeah, I do.” Clover laughed a little, trying to ignore the pink tinge on her cheeks. “So then… what do you think of me?”

“You’re very important to me, Clover.” Alice’s own face had a bit of a blush on it, although nowhere near as obvious as Clover’s face. “Of course I would want to look out for you.”

“Alice… please, just… can you just say it? I-I, uh, I don’t think I can say it first.”

There was a bit of a sly grin on Alice’s face now, leaning down and planting a kiss on Clover’s head.

“I love you, Clover. Happy birthday.”

“A-Alice… I-I, um… I love you too.” She knew the blush had to be painted brightly across her face by now, but that was fine. This was… it was something she’d wanted to say for a long time, but had just never had the words or the time. But now… now she did. “I love you a lot, Alice. I’ve loved you for a long time, and I… I don’t want you to be my boss or anything, I just… w-would you be my girlfriend?”

“Clover, I’d like that a lot.” Sitting down beside Clover on the bed, Alice put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

–

The months until it was deemed really safe to return back to the surface seemed to pass by in a flash, everything just a little bit brighter now. It wasn’t like anything had even changed- but being able to say “This is Alice, she’s my girlfriend!” just made Clover feel giddy in a way she hadn’t felt before. Not that it was a bad thing- no, she rather liked that feeling.

Stepping out into the upper parts of the shelter, behind closed doors that had managed to avoid being destroyed by scavengers, laid the van that they’d come here with once, and two Jeeps. It certainly wasn’t enough for the sixty-something people they had in the shelter with them- but despite it being safe outside, most of them wanted to stay. In the end, there was a group of four who took the van; Alice Clover and Nona took one jeep, and they agreed to leave the other in case the others needed it. About twenty people had said they were simply going to walk for a while and see where it took them… she doubted they’d ever meet again, but that was alright. They’d survived, and they’d continue to survive- the people here were survivors. All of them were.

Clover and Nona had each been in contact with Light and Ennea, telling them that they’d go to them. The trip would take a couple days, a lot of driving to reach them both, but they’d make it.

They went by Ennea’s way first, the reunion between sisters and mother and daughter enough to get Clover to cry. Then, all piling back inside they drove off towards Light’s shelter- Clover couldn’t quell her nerves, but she knew he’d be fine, they’d been talking all day.

That wasn’t going to stop her from sobbing the moment she saw him again, launching herself into his arms.

He looked older, much like she did, but he still looked familiar. His eyes crinkled up in the same way when he smiled, his hair was maybe a hint greyer and his skin (somehow) a touch paler, but he was otherwise the same.

Clover herself looked older- she’d maybe grown a bit taller (or at least she insisted she had), and her hair had long since grown back to it’s natural auburn. She’d started cutting it shorter, too- it was more manageable to have in a little ponytail, although plenty of loose curls still managed to fall out and stay in her face.

They’d changed, yes, but now they were together again- them and the Kashiwabaras and Seven and Alice were together, and they’d find someplace where they could settle in and make things work, just like Alice and Clover had seen Quark and Junpei making things work.

–

It had taken them only about a day by car to find a place where some people were living, no more than ten people taking up residence in old abandoned houses. After assuring them that they were in fact not here to rob and/or kill them they all settled into places of their own, trying to find which houses weren’t going to collapse any time soon.

The next years were rough, certainly, but they weren’t without happiness.

They’d all found niches within the community fairly quickly, attempting to find things to do that suited them well. There was certainly a lot of change, from what life had been, it wasn’t like old jobs like ‘cop’ or ‘programmer’ really existed anymore, but they’d found ways around things. Seven just naturally made people feel safe, Hazuki had started learning more about the hardware side of things in an attempt to help keep old radios and dvd players and whatever else running smooth, and the rest of them found their places as well.

For Clover thought, that didn’t come as easily. It wasn’t like she was really good at growing things, so she didn’t try her hand at helping out there, and she didn’t really consider herself intimidating enough to keep their group safe like Alice or Seven. She spent a good deal of time just drifting around, helping whoever needed it whenever needed- and she was always accumulating stories. It quickly became known that she was the person who knew everything around ‘town’, recounting the stories of friendly travellers and able to give whatever people needed to know about where someone was, or what they were doing.

The answer seemed almost obvious when Alice one day handed her a thick-looking book and a handful of pens, as if it was something Clover should’ve known all along. She wasn’t the best writer or anything- but even if she didn’t have a computer (or even a typewriter) here, that didn’t mean everything they’d go through had to be lost forever. Telling the stories over and over from person to person, and writing them down for the future, that was something she could do and enjoy.

Time continued to pass by, same as always, but life kept moving onwards. It certainly wasn’t easy, they were always on guard for the potential of drought or famine or attack; but they’d made do for themselves.

As life moved forwards for her, Clover found herself slowly growing less worried about what would happen next. Maybe it was just age, maybe it was from living in the apocalypse, but by the time she’d gotten old she was simply accustomed to life.

“Oh, Clover. You’ll never guess who I spoke with today in town.”

“Light?” She turned to look at her brother, who had something of a pleased grin on his face. “Who was it? One of the others?”

“No, no- it was Junpei. You remember him, right?”

“Of course I- wait, what?” No, that wasn’t possible… was it? But no… it was 2064… “Well, what did you say?”

“He seemed to be in a bit of a rush, something about preparing for a trip soon… and he has a son! Never would’ve expected that of him.”

“A-Aha, yeah…”

“Clover? Is everything alright?”

“Fine! Just fine!”

–

“Say… Junpei?” Clover looked down at her knees, seated back on the couch in Junpei and Quark’s place. Alice was at the other end of the couch, looking off to the side as well. “Do you… do you know what happened to my brother?”

She didn’t know why the transporters hadn’t worked for her, she hated the fact that she was stuck here like this- but maybe, just maybe, she could at least get an answer.

“Light? Oh, I think he’s… a few hours away? Yeah, it’s only about three hours south by truck- I saw him at the beginning of the year.”

“……” Clover was dumbstruck. Completely and utterly dumbfounded- what? No, that was impossible. Her brother couldn’t be alive, she couldn’t contact him- unless… no way. That was stupid- but it had to be true. The reason she couldn’t contact her brother was because she was blocking herself, right? Did that mean a version of her had found him, and was living somewhere else with her brother right now? “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Uh… no? I guess I didn’t think about it, but we could go visit him if you wanted..”

“That, um, might not be the best idea there Junpei.”

“Alright…”

–

“Clover, could you get the door?”

“Sure thing, Alice!” Even in her old age, Clover was still quite energetic- but that didn’t stop her jaw from dropping when she recognized who was at the door. “Junpei?”

“Yeah, that’s me… wait. Clover?” He seemed equally dumbfounded, staring at her with his mouth open. “How’s that- that’s impossible, isn’t it? I thought it didn’t work- you’re old-“

“You moron!” Cutting him off, Clover folded her arms with a huff. “You saw Light just last month, and you never thought to tell me about that? I spent the last 45 years thinking he was gonna die because of that little oversight!”

“I-It didn’t cross my mind! I was a little busy, Clover!”

“That-s you- augh!” With a huff, Clover eventually just shrugged and waved him inside. “Sit down, you!”

“Clover, what’s with the noise- Tenmyouji?”

“Alice, it’s good to see you.”

“Yes, it’s been a while- or at least, it has for us.”

“Yeah, I’d imagine..”

There was a hell of a lot to talk about, and they all took a seat around the place- but hey, at least they had the time now. Going to pull out one of the many journals Clover’d kept over the years they got to talking back and forth for a good few hours before Junpei finally had to leave again, with a promise that he’d bring Quark the next time so Light could meet him.

Clover’s mind was still busy when she went to bed that night, settling in beside Alice and staring up at the ceiling for some time, just listening to the sounds of the house. Seeing Junpei again after all these years… it really had been quite a time, hadn’t it? Not easy, not what she’d expected… but she didn’t regret going in that transporter. Not when she could know that her brother was alive, and she was with the woman she loved so much… it wasn’t perfect, but they’d struggled through it to find something worthwhile.

And, she thought to herself with a smile, that was certainly good enough.

[paragonrobits]

I've been thinking about trolls with tails a lot lately, so here's some ideas I've been rolling around to give them some interesting designs for tails, based on a variety of factors: their lusus influencing their growth (perhaps lusii somehow have a biological effect on a young troll, or the trolls already have the capcacity to develop those traits and that's a reason why those particular lusii might choose them), their environment present when they're young, their caste – a seadweller will need to swim, and it might be more efficient to have a tail so long that they almost look like a marine animal in profile, while hunters like Nepeta need something to keep balance while moving at high speeds – and the old stand by of 'trolls re dang weird, who knows why they're like this?'

Karkat: Looks like a lobster's tail; short, a bit spiky (they're soft and harmless), with a very wide fluke. I like the idea that Karkat is a weird connecting point between fuchsias and rusts; as a result he has a fairly short tail, as typical for the more inland-dwelling land dwellers, but it's still excellent for swimming. It also gives him fantastic balance; he'd make a great ballerina, as he's alost impossible to trip over or keep still when he's moving, he just twirls out of the way. He's likely to be very anxious about his tail, as its a dead giveaway that he's off-spectrum; he might even have docked it (and it regrew during the course of the Game), and his clothes tend to be shaped in a way that conceal it.

Aradia: Short, thickset at the base and tapering away at the tip. Her tail is mainly used as a rudder and balance when she stands at her full height, with several additional structures (resembling broad fins) that can twist or turn to fine-tune her momentum. It's especially useful when charging, turning on a dime, or make extremely precise changes in course when running from a collapsing ancient temple. Possibly, after she prototypes herself with the frog temple and becomes part frog, she takes on some amphibian qualities; her tail would then look like a tadpole's, at least with a large and delicate-looking fin. To a troll, it would look like a snake's tail, which has some cultural significance.

Tavros: Much longer than he is tall, fairly wide overall, and with a large tuft of hair at the end. Close analysis shows that this hair conceals what looks like crude digits, and the end of his tail is capable of grabbing things. The whole tail is prehensile, able to pick things up or serve as a tool. Assuming that the Nitram wings are a basic biological quirk of his bloodline or trolls that going God-Tier manifests, his tail flattens out near the tip to aid in mid-air steering. His tail is also super-sensitive, so it constantly moves, shying away from anyone or anything that gets too close; he'd trust a quadrant mate, but still be instinctively shy.

Sollux: Average length for a troll, but it forks into two whip-thin tails near the base of the tail, and are a reliable indication of his current mood based on how lethargic or energetic they are moving. Covered in short and dull plates running down, and possibly have several organs relating to psionic potential or balancing out those energies in him. Also possibly the tail is a kind of grounding rod for excess energy, discharging out from there. Other trolls with psionic abilities (including Aradia, who discharges by causing odd effects in the area around her) would develop similar tendencies.

Nepeta: I see the Leijons as being fairly atavistic in most ways so its hard to see how that works if all trolls have tails. Her tail is similar to canon, except it's unambigiously a tail and not possibly a bit of clothing or a cybernetic attachment; it's quite long, nearly as long as she is tall, and while it's not thick relative to her size, the sheer length of the hairs or spiny bits along its surface makes it look very thick. It's flexible but not very strong or at all prehensile, mainly giving her astounding balance. In particular when she makes sprinting charges or leaps, she has excellent control of how her body moves due to her tail's agility. It's so long, however, that she has difficulty standing up for long, though that might just be a quirk of her spinal structure.

Kanaya: Average length, but growing longer as she gets older. It's extremely fluffy, covered in decorative spines or hairs that are soft to the touch, and hugely expressive; they can twist in a variety of ways, and she dyes them multiple colors for an iridescent effect. While not exactly prehensile, it is very strong and she is entirely capable of holding people still with her tail thanks to its sheer length. This leads to her other quirk in her tail; when she became a rainbow drinker, several small spikes along it's lenth grew much longer and hollow, developing into stingers capable of plunging into the body of prey and draining their blood or other vital fluids (if desired). This can be as violent or gentle as desired; while she prefers to feed in the traditional fashion, she can use her tail like this if she feels inclined. To support her tail transferring those fluids when feeding, the underside is very fleshy and several tubes beneath the flesh.

Terezi: Fairly long, but not unusually so; most striking about her tail is how incredibly thick it is. In places its as broad, or broader, than some lowblood trolls. Sort of a mish-mash up of dragon and crocodile tails (with a bit of gila monster): it's heavily plated, having a series of spikes running down to the tip, and helps her swim quite well, and even enabling her to fly amazingly well when she has a jetpack or similar flying device equipped. However, she's fairly poor at making turns because of its size. The armor, size and sheer muscle of her tail makes it a potent weapon. She might have a kind of thagomizer at the end, but she could make something and strap it on for the same effect. It's also a lot more flexible than it looks, and she can certainly slap it into the sides (or backsides) of anyone within range, cackling as they nurse a sudden sharp impact. That said, it also looks hard and brutal, but the underside is extremely soft due to how thick the whole tail is, and she enjoys the feeling of people nuzzling into it; she's prone to laying back while her friends (mainly Karkat and Dave) sleep or doze on on. (Feel free to draw the appropriate conclusions about Terezi acting tough but being secretly a sweetheart.)

Vriska: Fairly long, her tail resembles a scorpion's tail, complete with a large stinger a few feet long. It's overall segmented and armored, though lightly so; it's very fast, relative to its size, and hits extremely hard. Possibly as a result of her lusus' influence or a strange biological byproduct of her powers, she naturally produces venom that she can inject directly into others. This venom is not toxic, at least in small doses, but it renders victims pliable, lethargic and more vulnerable to her mind control abilities. During her FLARPing days, she often used it to render her lusii's meals completely helpless, and playfully stinging Eridan. In smaller doses, though ,it could be a relaxant. Some trolls are more resistant: trolls higher up the hemosprectum show resistance, while Terezi is completely immune. Additionally, she can funnel it through spinnerets in her stinger, soldifying it into a webby substances that she can wrap people up in, for a longer-term use. Finally, Vriska's tail is flexible enough to curl around itself into a more compact form, resembling a spider's abdomen. Despite her tail's utility, it constantly throws her balance off and she can trip herself up pretty easily.

Equius: It's not particularly long, relative to his height, but his tail looks long. An astounding amount of thick and glossy hair grows but from his tail in a kind of curtain or mane, which he grooms fastidiously, and his sheer amount of tail-hair makes his tail look much longer than it actually is. It's fairly slender relative to his size and very inflexible, usually held ramrod stiff. It greatly assists his running; when Equius starts moving, his balance is absolutely impeccable and he's very difficult to trip up. Combined with his strength, he is a very fast juggernaut. He takes pride in his tail's health, but it' got os much hair that he can't reach it most of the time; his robots often help maintain it, and if he cannot build any, he relies on his quadrant mates; Nepeta mainly helps groom him but Aradia is available to help if needed. (Feferi once did so and Equius has still not stopped swooning.)

Gamzee: As with his shore-dwelling people, Gamzee blurs the line between a sea-dweller and a land-dweller. Whether or not he has vestigial facial fins, his tail certainly looks designed for swimming; it's long, heavy, its powerful mass lined with several flukes or flippers that would serve him well in swimming – or, considering that they are rimmed with short sharp claws, in a tail-slap fight. It is, however, too light to do this consistently, lacking the adaptations that a true sea-dweller would have; Gamzee would be easily tired by swimming with his tail for too long. His tail also has extremely heavy quills that are normally relaxed and resemble hair; unlike Equius' hair, these are wild and drift to the floor like a build-in broom, making his tail look larger than it actually is. When he is stressed or in a Caliborn-influenced state of mind, they bristle and stiffen into proper quills that are flexible and very strong; they're almost impossible to pull out once they're stuck in you, and are shockingly painful to be hit by.

Eridan: Eridan's tail is very long, as typical for sea-dwellers, who rely heavily on their tail for propulsion in the water. However his tail's length is not easily apparent because it has grown in a crooked, curling shape similr to a sea-horse's tail. Large fins grow along its length, which provide most of his aquatic propulsion, and long spines dot his tail. These spines, which make a very nasty impact, are connected by a number of thick membranes that collectively make a net. Apparently the main purpose of these nets is to support eggs and young grubs, or especially small trolls. He's a bit embarrassed of this innate tendency towards fatherliness. In the sea, Eridan's tail curls out into a crooked line, and can push with considerable force; he's fast but is far faster at sudden turns. There's evidence to support the romantic idea of courts of violets swarming around their fuchsia, protecting her, grooming her and feeding her, and Eridan's tail effectively works well for him behaving like this with Feferi.

Feferi: Overall has the largest tail out of any of the trolls; it's at least as long as she is tall, if not significantly longer, and extraordinarily thick (about on par with Terezi's). This sheer size makes her fairly unstable on land, or seem deceptively clumsy. Her tail can be described as a mixture of primordial sea monsters distilled into a single efficient limb; there's elements of a moasaur's heavy tail, the muscular action of a whale, and a bit of shark in there as well. The overall shape resembles the mantle of a squid, as well. And on that note, she may or may not have several tentacles lining the sides, drifting gently behind her. In the water, her tail provides her enormous speed so she can move with terrifying suddenness; the same strength that can put her from the ocean floor to the sky can propel so fast and violently that she's likely to tear right through anything in her way, and a single tail slap will probably kill anything it hits. (Or splatter it.) She'll have a lot of jewelery, rings and fancy shiny bits encircling her entire tail; golden loops wrapped snugly around it, or even set into the softer membranes connecting the many fins lining its circumference.

[moonraccoon-exe]

have you ever imagine if gladio were like mad at ignis? like an actual rage, i ever thought about it and i just have no idea what will gladio be mad about well iggy getting mad at gladio is "normal" in someway but gladio???? and if gladio is mad to iggy what will he do? i thought bout this since i mark them being a married couple ehe (sorry for bad english btw💦)

That’s pretty interesting. This was in my inbox at the same time than this other ask where somebody asked what kind of arguments I thought Gladio + Ignis could have, but that one was much older in my inbox than this one. Sorry for answering so distant one from the other!

Then again, that one ask focuses a bit more on less serious things, at least in comparison to the situation you plant. Over there there’s domestic Gladnis arguing over socks and books, but the first two points are kind of serious, too.

1. Things related to Noctis, 2. Self-care.

An actual scenario where Gladio would entirely lose it against Ignis, though?

[I had written a few paragraphs of Gladio analysis, but decided to delete because I just…write and digress too much, I’m sorry, ahahaha) 

In some official relationship chart that shows the different bonds between the 4 bros, Ignis and Gladio are linked both in a very, very similar, almost the same way. “The person that understands the situation as well as I do”, “The only other that sees the real width and weight of the situation as I do”, or in a summary and easier way to grasp “The one that understands me most”, and that goes both ways.

When two people understand each other as good as Ignis and Gladio seem to do, it’s pretty hard (but not impossible) to have an actual rage. Discussions and arguments and angry moments, sure. But some big, heavy rage? That tends to happen with two very similar poles colliding, or two entirely opposite poles that lack understanding, colliding. These two are opposite-but-not-entirely-opposite poles that understand each other, so a collision the size of Big Bang is hard to happen.

Understanding + communication = calm and understanding.

So I guess they would need some very heavy miscommunication to lose it.

I. Am. Digressing.

I’m taking this too far, ahahaha, sorry! Let’s level this down a couple steps so it’s not a super mega harsh situation that will cause the world to explode, shall we?

Some scenario where Gladio rages at Ignis?

The most possible and most realistic I can think is Gladio raging out at Ignis because of Ignis’ self-treatment.

It’s in the other ask, as well, but I’ll type to this again because it feels like the most….like the one with biggest chances of happening, I think?

I don’t think Gladio would rage out at Ignis for something about Gladio himself. Nothing about “Why did you do this to me?”, not even some “Why did you do this?”, but rather some “Why did you do this to yourself?”

Gladio understands Ignis very well. He knows what the adviser puts himself through. We’re not shown precisely what, but out of what we know, it seems like Ignis has a super stressful job. And it’s not necessary to go too far in investigation to have the one thing clear; Ignis’ selfless attitude. Which is not necessarily healthy or good or a compliment. It’s almost the opposite.

Ignis has gone to the limits of almost dying, get majorly injured, go blind, and STILL want to continue the journey only because he wants to help. Help others, help his friend, help the world. Heck, recently blinded, Ignis can barely do anything, but he still pushes himself far, far, far too much just to be useful to Noctis and his friends and the world. It’s not brave, it’s reckless. And it was only a miracle he didn’t die out of that recklessness that crosses the line of stupidity.

Ignis WAS useful, of course. But that is what we know. Up above…that’s what Gladio could have seen.

It’s not a lie. Ignis is weak in those moments. Keeps the head down, hasn’t had chances of getting used to that lifestyle when he’s already asking to be brought along in long walks in unknown territory while ALSO trying to keep up his fighting.

Damn, he’s recently blinded, you cannot try to get used to it in a matter of a few weeks.

….do you see Gladio’s mental process in all this?

I think that if raged out at Ignis, it would be something like this. 

If Gladio raged out at Ignis it would be because Ignis is putting himself in any sort of danger in very stupid and reckless ways only because of his necessity of aiding others.

It’s not crazy to think about Gladio getting very exhausted of Ignis not giving himself a break, and not allowing himself to be carried. Ignis focuses so much on picking others up from the ground and carrying them no matter the weight that he doesn’t stop even when his own legs break.

He keeps walking on the broken bones. And it’s NOT healthy.

Gladio’s rage could easily come out in many of the arguments listed above. They could come out in situations where Ignis is harming himself or allowing something or someone else to directly or indirectly harm him, whether it’s physically, emotionally or even spiritually. Simply because Gladio knows it’s not healthy, and he gets very, very angered at the fact that Ignis doens’t realize how bad it is, how much he’s getting harmed, and how this is killing him slowly.

Gladio would rage out at him for not allowing himself a break. For not letting himself breathe. For carrying others and not letting anyone carry him even when he most desperately needs it.

“This is senselessly stupid, Ignis! You go around putting yourself in unnecessary danger. Do you not see you’re human too? Open the goddamn eyes, Ignis, it doesn’t work this way, you don’t NEED to push yourself so far only because somebody else needs you.”

Gladio himself says it to Ignis, in a soft way, but it could easily turn into a reason for the Shield to rage out at him

“You staying alive is more than enough”.

Or, raging out

“You go around trying to fight and stay with us and trying to be useful, but how useful will you be to us putting yourself in danger in such a stupid way? What good will it make to us that you die? Do you think that’s useful, dying? Do you want us to carry with your corpse for the rest of the journey? Do you think that’s more helpful than staying behind? Just because you stay behind somewhere safe doesn’t mean you’re useless or not helping, at least you’d be doing more than if you were dead!!”

I don’t know if I’m explaining myself, but…it’s basically that.

Raging out due to reasons that are linked to Ignis throwing himself to the sword.

Physically, like these examples post Leviathan battle.

On general health, what with the stress Ignis constantly lives in with. Too much stress is never healthy, you know? Premature death, heart problems, to recall the biggest. Gladio knows, of course, and doesn’t want that to happen.

Emotionally. Needless to say Ignis is a tragic character himself. Too many situations could trigger Ignis into pushing himself far despite the emotional struggles instead of attending to them, which could consequently cause Gladio to rage at him.

It’s a…loving sort of rage, but still rage, I guess. A sincere anger.

That Gladio rages out at Ignis in a very serious way…it would be because Gladio grows exhausted and impossibly exasperated at the fact that Ignis pushes himself too far, past the limits of what’s healthy and what’s not.

It seems to be a general headcanon, I think. Sounds realistic.

what do you think, anon? :)

Also, don't worry, your english is great! I don't master it either. Don't be sorry, your english is good :D