#pretty sure this happened between my last update of someone out there and my update of scars are souvenirs

[hmsharmony]

*

[weirdmageddon]

the shift in lore literacy in homestuck’s fandom

i was thinking about how the people who got into homestuck after it ended—whose interactions with the comic are in a static, archived state, not an ongoing thing—missed out on information that was more common knowledge in the fandom at that time. i don’t know if this is true since i’m not on tiktok, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was. the fandom certainly isn’t the same as it was before.

ive found that many people reading homestuck now simply do not understand things in homestuck that were common knowledge back in the day, with calls for “homestuck literacy classes to become mandatory” in response to baffling takes because so many people just now seem to have glazed over the comic without absorbing important plot points, and i think i know why this may be. i ended up writing a post reflecting on my time with the comic, my perspective and how ive seen this change. i still think and write about homestuck because it still fascinates me. earlier i quote retweeted that call in my thread talking about the temporal relativity of dave and rose’s god tier ascension in the green sun, saying “my homestuck literacy is 100% so guess im doing my part as a teacher by pointing out whatever i think is really cool about it”. this post im writing now started out as a reply to this tweet i got in response.

i joined the fandom in 2013. i was 11. i had been aware of it since at least late 2011, early 2012 when my friend ryan in fifth grade told me to read it but i couldn’t get past the first few pages. i remember writing a journal on deviantart around this time (late 2011-early 2012) that was mocking people who typed like gamzee, which ironically was very karkat of me. and i remember someone on flipnote hatena i was following was making flipnotes with the alpha kids.

i dont know what caused me to flip the switch into reading it but 2013. i got into it somewhere between april (i think closer to april—i remember it being quite a span of time between the last update before HOMOSUCK dropped.) this was the most recent page the comic, meaning there was no > [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 at the bottom.

i got into it during a pause in updates, which looking into it, was the year 4 megapause. i wasn’t sure of the month until seeing the news post detailing the reason for the hiatus and the status report of the comic’s development at that time. pretty cool i could narrow it down by referencing the dates of those updates and the news post to correspond with the pause!

according to readmspa, the year 4 megapause was a 59 day hiatus from Apr 14, 2013 ==> (EOA6A5) running to 12 Jun 2013, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6. then for a few months there were the first updates that i was apart of the fandom for.

and what an exciting time during the story get into the webcomic! when the updates resumed in june, part 4 of homestuck had begun. here was a glimpse of the updates in that span of time before the next hiatus began in october.

that hiatus was none other than the gigapause, the longest hiatus in the comic, which started october 2013 and lasted for a YEAR, and i already posted about what happened on the date of return.

but here were the main events happening in the story at the time i first actually got interested in it. i wasn’t aware of the full context of them then like i am now, but i was looking at the most recent updates anyway with interest:

the alpha kids just emerged as god tiers from their slabs in derse and prospit, blown up by the condesce and caliborn / lil cal-possessed b2 jack noir.

the journey to the new session started 24 hours after jack called an early reckoning in descend—for context that was about when dave entered around midnight central time and before jade even entered. it’s pretty easy to forget that side 1 of homestuck basically happens within the span of a single day—and at this point in the story, the 3 year journey (which was also 3 real life years) had just ended. john and jade emerged from the other side of the yellow yard through the fenestrated plane on LOMAX. john’s real body was asleep upon arrival in the new session, while his dreaming projection out in the dream bubbles came across vriska’s ghost ship to learn lord english lore with vriska and aranea, and go on the treasure hunt where they found the ultimate weapon at the X mark out in in the furthest ring. in the dream john stuck his hand in the juju, started warping all over canon which removed his real body from the ship on LOMAX. he zapped around for a while but eventually zapped back to LOMAX, now awake, completely out of the loop of what everyone else is up to, and bored as fuck. what was everyone else getting up to while john was asleep?

jade was now once again within the domain of the green sun. im pretty sure her space god doggy essence comes with the power to sense what was anywhere within the domain of the session since her face looks like she arrived at that spot with intent (and she literally has jack noir’s exact powers from bec’s prototyping. also this panel). she immediately dispatched b2 jack to the edge of the incinisphere, defending the newly god-tiered jane and jake. i think even if they weren’t in any danger, she would have warped to them instantly anyway because she COULD now, and i can imagine she wouldve been sooooo eager to meet everyone. even davesprite comments about her rapid departure.

the pre-scratch refugees arrived during the only time serious shit ever went down in the nobles’ months-long inert void session. the condesce used her freak psychic bronze-cerulean powers to commune with jade’s bestial side and mind controlled her, which is super dangerous as someone with the powers of a first guardian. she then used jade’s powers to corrupt jane with the tiaratop. no funtime meetup allowed!

the trolls’ meteor with rose, dave, and the remaining trolls was pulling up into the new session with no way to slow it down. grimbark jade warped there once it was in the incinisphere and took active control. she warped everyone off the trolls’ meteor and sent them to LOMAX.

as john was losing his mind on LOMAX waiting for everyone, the meteor crew warped in. after 3 years he finally reunited with rose and dave, and at least saw the trolls in person. close curtains, end of A6A5. this was the newest [S] flash page at the time, one of my first impressions of this comic, and still one of my favorite flashes. knowing the context of the flash in the story only enhances the retrospective joy i have at getting into the comic at the time i did because it’s such an anticipated moment in the story for everyone, while for someone with no context of the story it was still enjoyable.

so that’s what was going on plotwise when i joined the fandom.

from this time, through those few months of updates and through the gigapause, i was familarizing myself with the characters in the story and overseeing the state of fanbase, getting myself acquainted with the story and wrapping my head around everything.

at that time i found that a new-ish group called colab HQ who were producing a let’s read homestuck series on youtube. hearing the voices and the pacing of it like that really, really eased me into it (maybe it was my adhd that gave me trouble actually starting it?). i caught up to a certain point using lets read homestuck and from that point was able to continue with the comic on my own, and by the time the gigapause came to a close i was fully caught up. i remember the rebranding of colab hq into voxus about a year and a half after i discovered them.

but.. back to the main point of my post. even these posts from hussie’s tumblr exist in archived states. how many new fans know about hussie’s old tumblr? i don’t know, unless theyre a new fan that must scour the internet for more deep more dives on homestuck and its fandom as a whole. but since hussie deleted his tumblr (it exists archived now on homestuck.net which, alongside from the unofficial homestuck collection, has nearly singlehandedly kept the most important relics of the fandom and lore archived), that page is not an active part of the fandom now, because it’s gone. it’s a pile of bones. it’s not living and breathing. it’s in an archived state. the whole thing is already there. homestuck and its fandom history is something you now binge instead of slowly consume and meld with as it comes out. it’s now this rapid information intake that you might forget about if you read it now instead of engaged alongside it. you’re not surrounded by people actively talking and theorizing about developments anymore. the ability to have those sorts of conversations during the ongoing development of the story reinforced concepts, ideas, and lore over and over as we tried to make sense of it.

being in a fandom when the author is still delivering the story is like nothing else. it allows you grow alongside the characters and engage meaningfully with the media and people in the fandom space around you. it feels like you’re participating IN the media itself, especially if you’re interfacing with the creator. it’s in always having something to theorize or talk about and speculate. and people become very aware of these sorts of forgotten story facts because they were applying the logic of the newest official post from hussie into making their sburb ocs or something and share resources and discussion posts about “what just happened in this update?? recap????” it was this cultural osmosis thing. i think this is why homestuck literacy is now at an all time low, at least from what i can see on twitter.

reading homestuck then vs now is like the difference between serialized shows with spaces between episodes to discuss stuff and time to reflect and learn and become attached to the story, narrative, worldbuilding and its characters, vs the netflix model where it’s all dropped all at once and people forget about it after binging.

at this point in time im getting the sense that “homestuck elders” now are no longer just people who were there since 2009-2010, but now also people who were there while it was still updating, probably stretching into 2014-2015. there are many sources of lore that were common knowledge in the fandom at the time that, since becoming susceptible to the deletion of content and link rot, and with the thanosing of mspaforums, are no longer accessible at the source. and a lot of people moved on after it ended, especially following the epilogues, the kate drama, and the whatpumpkin-sarah z drama, leaving a void of information behind if not for archivists and people such as me who continue to keep old facts relevant in discussions. my friend has called me a fandom scholar before and seeing this post i think i get what they mean.

EDIT: there is a series of video essays ive watched multiple times (because theyre that good) and they are exactly what modern fans need to see more of. they really help contextualize the comic and the themes present in it help you appreciate the basic fabric of homestuck a hell of a lot more. i highly recommend them and encourage any fan of homestuck to watch them, or someone considering getting into homestuck to watch the first one.

i think this is arguably as close to the “mandatory literacy class for homestuck” that person was talking about as you can get, especially the first video.

additionally, there is also the website https://rafe.name/homestuck which is essentially a sparknotes for homestuck and can help you follow developments in the comic itself.

[louloulemons-posts]

All That Matters Is Us

Eddie Munson X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary : You’re in a secret relationship with Eddie Munson, what happens when someone finds out?

Word Count : 1.9k

Warnings : Fluffy, minuscule angst, Jason carver, self deprecating Eddie, not proof read, swears, use of Y/N and Y/L/N, kisses.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“You’re sure you don’t want to come?” Chrissy asked as the pair of you walked out of the locker room. You’d changed out of your cheer uniform into some light acid washed jeans, a purple and blue jumper and some old chuck taylors.

“Sorry Chris, I already have plans,” you explained to your best friend. She hummed, “Ah yes, with your mystery man.” Wiggling her eyebrows at you, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “When are you going to introduce me, or even tell me who it is?” she asked.

“When we’re both ready. It’s only been a couple months.”

“Exactly! A couple of months of my best friend seeing a guy I have no information about. I’m guessing he’s a douche or a nerd.”

“He’s neither. He’s kind and thoughtful and sweet to me. I really like him Chris.”

She awed at you, which made you roll your eyes. “Who are we talking about?” Jason. He appeared out of nowhere with a couple of his friends. Throwing his arm over Chrissy shoulder, he kissed her head. “Nobody,” you shrugged.

Walking down the halls you were ready to leave them. “Have fun at the party,” you said to the blonde girl. She pulled out of Jason’s hold and hugged you, whispering in your ear, “Call me tomorrow. Update.”

“You’re not coming to the party?” Jason questioned.

“Not this time. I’ll see you guys later,” you waved at them and wandered away.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You made your way to the drama room, knocking on the door lightly. “Come in,” a familiar voice said. Entering, you panicked slightly, you’d assume Hellfire was over, you were wrong. The group of boys gave you strange looks, minus the chocolate eyed metal head, sat in his throne.

“Y/L/N,” he began, “We’re almost finished. If you don’t mind sitting and waiting, I’ll get you your stuff.” You nodded, sitting down on a chair in the corner, plopping your bag by your feet.

The campaign didn’t last much longer, Eddie bringing it to an end with a cliffhanger. “Stop your whining,” he said to the younger boys, ushering them out of the room. “It gives you time to prepare, so I don’t get why you’re all moody.”

Shutting the door to them, he turned on his heel, instantly grinning at you. You matched it, chuckling slightly. “It’s a good thing I can come up with stories quickly, you almost gave us away Sweetheart,” Eddie spoke.

“I didn’t think they’d still be here Eds.” Standing, you walked over to him. He leaned back on the table slightly, allowing you to stand between his legs. “Look pretty, I like this” he smiled, tugging the hem of your jumper.

“Missed you today,” you said, brushing some stray curls out of his face. “Missed you too baby. Never leave me for a full day again,” he groaned, dropping his head to your shoulder. “I had practice Eds, big competition coming up.”

“I know, I know. How did it go?” he asked, kissing your neck lightly, before he lifted his head again. “It was good, I didn’t get dropped so, that’s always a bonus.”

“I know. Or you’d have Dr Munson waiting on you, hand and foot. Nobody wants that.”

“I could think of worse things than you doting on me,” you laughed.

“Oh yeah?” he said, leaning down so his lips ghosted yours. “Yeah.” Your lips were about to touch when the door burst open.

You didn’t have time to fully move away from one another, looking at the door you saw one of the Hellfire boys. Dustin. “Oh. I … umm … sorry, I uh left my notes,” he said, awkwardly grabbing his book from the table. “Sorry um, I’ll leave you to it. See you Monday Eddie.”

Before he could leave the room, Eddie called out, “Henderson.” The boy faced him, looking slightly panicked. “Yeah?”

“Not one word.” The younger boy gulped, nodding, “You got it. Didn’t see a thing.” The door clicked closed.

“We’re screwed,” Eddie said, rubbing his face.

“He’s going to tell his friends?” you asked, to which Eddie nodded. “Yeah and Lucas has been taken over by the dark side.”

You pinched his side, knowing what he meant. “Oh and am I on the dark side?” you asked, pinching him again. “No! You’re different, you’re sweet and kind.”

“Hmm okay, okay I get it,” you smiled slightly, showing him you weren’t mad.

“Seriously though, if Lucas knows, Carver will too. You sure you want people to know about you and the Freak?” he asked, seeming to close in on himself.

“Eddie,” you said softly, gently placing one of your hands on his cheek. He couldn’t meet your eyes, insecurities taking over. “Hey, come on baby, look at me.” He didn’t. “Please, wanna see those pretty eyes I love so much,” you said.

Slowly his eyes met yours, they were slightly glassy. “Let me down easy Sweetheart,” he almost whispered. “Let you down? What?” you questioned.

“I know you won’t want people to know about us, so just do it to me gently. Cause I really fucking like you.”

“Who says I don’t want them to know?” you cocked your head slightly. “Sweetheart your reputation-”

“Means nothing. I cheer because I find it fun, not for the popularity status, and honestly the only people I like in that group are Chrissy and well … Lucas,” you explained to him.

“Really?” he mumbled.

“Really Eds. I really like you, more than I’ve ever liked anyone. Never been so glad to be paired up on a project with someone,” you chuckled.

Remembering how during your 3rd study session you’d been laughing so hard and lost all focus. Ending up kissing until you couldn’t breathe anymore, chapped lips and messy hair.

“I just don’t want you to have to deal with the stuff those assholes say.”

“I don’t care what people say, or what they think. All that matters is what we say and what we think, right?”

He hummed. “Eddie, I wanna be with you. I really do, but if you’re nervous I understand, we can still take it slowly.” He frowned, and groaned slightly, “Don’t wanna have to take it slow. Wanna be able to hold your hand in the halls and kiss you.”

“Then we can do that babe,” you said, smoothing between his brows to remove his frown.

“You really want too?” he asked.

“I do. Monday, pick me up. We’ll walk in together. We can have lunch if you want, in the cafeteria or the woods if it overwhelms us. How does that sound?” you asked softly.

He nodded, pulling you closer to him and hugging you. “I really like you Y/N.”

“I really like you too Eds.” You stood on your toes slightly and pecked his lips. “We should get going, they’re gonna lock the school soon,” you mumbled against his mouth.

After one more quick kiss, he began to pack his Hellfire stuff away. As you were getting ready to walk out the door, you slid your hand into his. “I know the schools empty right now, but we can walk in the halls holding hands now, if you want?”

“Yeah. I’d really like that Sweetheart.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Morning,” you said, smiling as you climbed into Eddies van. “Morning Sweetheart,” he replied, leaning over and kissing your lips.

The drive wasn’t a particularly long one, Eddies favourite cassette was playing lowly in the background. He played with your hand as he drove, feeling his chunky rings knock against your knuckles.

You could tell he was on edge, so you squeezed his hand gently. You didn’t want to force him to talk, but you wanted him to know he could if he needed too. He gave you a small smile, looking back to the road. ‘Never wanna damage precious cargo,’ he’d say.

Pulling into the school parking lot, you could hear Eddies breath become shaky. “We don’t have to do this today,” you said softly, “Can try again another day.”

“No!” he almost shouted. “Sorry. I want to do this today, want people to know you’re my girl.”

“Oh I’m you girl?” you asked.

“W-well I umm … I was … what I mean to say is,” you laughed, cutting him off.

“Eds I’m kidding, I’m more than happy to be your girl.”

His cheeks reddened as he parked the van, giving you a shy smile. Which wasn’t a common Eddie thing. “We do this together baby,” you said to him, squeezing his hand once more. He squeezed back. “You ready Munson?” you asked.

“Ready Y/L/N.”

Kissing his lips softly, you let go of his hand and climbed out of the van. You went to put your bag on your shoulder, but Eddie took it from you, putting it on his own. Taking your hand he pulled you closer, kissing you again.

When he pulled away you couldn’t help but giggle. “You need to go to your locker or straight to class?” he asked.

“Locked, just to swap a couple books over, then we have English.”

“Great, let’s go,” he pecked your forehead and you headed towards the entrance.

You knew Eddie could feel the eyes on the pair of you, they were almost burning. Along with the whispers from nearly every person you walked past, good and bad. You squeezed Eddies hand to reassure him, which he did the same.

Pushing the door open for you both, the whispers only intensified when you walked through the semi-busy halls. You saw a couple of Eddies friends, Dustin being one, he was wearing a huge grin, throwing you a thumbs up.

Arriving at your locker, Eddie leaned beside you, holding your bag open. You heard loud and familiar chatter, walking around the corner you saw Chrissy, Jason and a few other cheerleaders and jocks.

Eddie tensed up and seemed to pull away from you. “Hey Y/N,” Chrissy said, wandering over to you, followed by the rest of the group. “Morning Chris,” you smiled. Placing more books into the bag Eddie still held, you smiled at him.

“You need something Freak?” Jason asked him, pulling a face of disgust. “Actually I-” Eddies voice didn’t seem to be working for him. “He’s waiting for me, aren’t you Eds?” you asked him, to which he nodded. You kissed him on his cheek, making him relax instantly.

“What the hell? Y/N are you sick in the head?” Jason almost yelled. You rolled your eyes turning to him, about to give him a mouthful, but your best friend beat you to it. “Jason just shut up! They’re happy! Eddies a sweet guy, leave them be, stop being such a jackass.”

Jason’s jaw dropped. Chrissy was polite and sweet 85% of the time, even you were in shock at her outburst. “That’s exactly what I was gonna say, so if you don’t mind Carver, I’ve gotta get my girl to class.” Eddie threw his arm over your shoulder, pulling you close.

You smiled at him and Chrissy, cheeks hurting. The blonde girl copied you, “See you later,” she mouthed, as you walked past her. “We did good babe,” Eddie said, leaning down to kiss you.

And it had remained that way, you and Eddie walking through the halls together. Sitting together at lunch, him often pulling you onto his lap. Stolen kisses when you were busy with cheer and him with hellfire. And nobody could say anything, you actually became one of the most loved couples in the whole school.

Not that you and Eddie cared, you only cared about one another. That’s all that matter. You adored one another.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[twice-inamillion]

The Company

Caught

Angst (major life event, caught lying, depression)

Chapter 9

 2,430 Words 

(The unexpected happened. Now, Miyeon has to deal with the consequences of her actions that might impact everyone around her.)

“Come on, just one kiss.”

“I don't know, oppa. I don't want to get in trouble.”

Don't worry, no one is going to see us.”

“Okay, just one kiss.”

“See, it wasn't too bad. When do you think I can see you?”

“I don't know. The company is pretty strict, and my teammates and I are busy. I basically had to lie for them to let me out.”

“I really want to see you again.”

“Same, I miss spending time with you.”

“Click. Click.”

Unbeknownst to the couple, their little randevu will have long-lasting effects on both of them, especially Miyeon.

“Seems like someone is going to have a bad day tomorrow,” as the person across the street watches from the shop nearby.

The next day, Irene walks to her office after a long day of practice the day before. As she opens the door, she sees an envelope, picks it up, and places it on the table.

Seated, she tried to find an address but found nothing that would reveal who the sender was. She opens it and pulls out a card with a note saying, “Seems like the company doesn't know how to manage their trainees and stop them from dating.”

Irene opens the folded sheet of paper and sees a clear picture of Cho Miyeon, one of the trainees she personally manages, kissing a boy. Many things go through her mind and the last thing she needs is a scandal of the CEO’s upcoming girl group before their debut. Luckily, they haven't been confirmed, and he says, “I need to take care of this before it gets any worse.”

Meanwhile, Miyeon is running on the treadmill when she receives a message. She sees the name of Irene, her recruiter and the one in charge of her group. She thinks it's an update of her group's schedules and opens it, only to get a vague message, “Would like to meet with you in my office at 10 AM today.” Curious, she finishes her run and heads to her dorm to shower before her appointment.

“Knock, Knock. It's Miyeon.”

“Come in. Take a seat.”

“Thank you.”

“How are you adjusting to your group? Are you getting along with your members?”

“Yes, the girls and II are getting along well. We are so excited to debut.”

“Hmm, how are things going personally? Are you feeling stressed or worried?”

“Just a bit tired, but nothing more than the usual?”

“That's good. Do you have feedback or anything you want to share?”

No, the company has been great so far. I really appreciate it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hmm, I think so.”

Irene tries to hide her irritated expression but can't comprehend why the person in front of her is lying straight to her face. “Then what about this?” as she takes over a folder and places the picture on the table.

“I don't know what this is.”

“Lies, this is you breaking one of the rules of your contract with us.”

Miyeon tries to think of what to say but can't think of any excuse and bursts into tears. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide it. I'll break it off; I promise not to do it again.”

“That's not going to work. You broke an important rule. I don't think this is going to work between us moving forward.”

“Wait, you don't mean...”

“I'm going to ask you to get your belongings and meet me back tomorrow for off-boarding.”

“Please, don't do this, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'll make it up; I'll work harder, just give me one chance. We're so close to debuting,” says Miyeon as she cries and pleads. 

“You shouldn't hide the fact that you were dating; maybe if you told me, I could have been more lenient. Don't make this any harder, I don't want to blacklist you.”

“But... “

“Leave, I'm very disappointed in you.”

With her hands covering her face, she exits Irene's office and runs to the elevator. She puts her hood up and covers her face as she tries to exit the building and make it to her apartment. 

“Hey Miyeon! Are you done for the day?”

“Sorry, I can't talk now,” says Miyeon as she tries not to let one of her trainee friends see her crying. She speed walks all the way to her room and lays on the bed crying until she falls asleep. 

“Hey, Miyeon, wake up. You missed practice.” Slowly, she wakes up from her exhausting nap and sees Rose touching her shoulder. 

“Hey, Rosie.”

“What happened?”

“They kicked me out,” as she begins to bawl again. 

“Why? Who kicked you out? From the group?”

“No, from the company.”

“Wait, let me get the rest of the girls. Maybe we can figure something out, but don't cry.”

“Hmm, okay.”

Rose steps out and heads to the other room where Jennie, Jisoo, and Lisa are hanging out. “Miyeon is crying, she said that they kicked her out of the company!”

The members rush into the other and see Miyeon lying down, crying her eyes out. “What happened, Miyeon?” asks Lisa. 

“Irene unnie called me into her office and they were kicking me out.”

“Why?”

“Apparently, someone took a picture of me with the boy I began dating before joining.”

“Why, Miyeon? I told you to break it off. Why didn't you listen to me?” said Jisoo.

“I didn't think they would find out. I haven't seen him since joining. Yesterday was the first time seeing him.”

“What's going to happen now?” asks Rose.

“I begged Irene to give me another chance, but all she told me was that I would collect my things by tomorrow.”

“I didn't think they would risk separating us before our debut,” said Lisa.

“What do you think is going to happen with us?” asks Jisoo.

Rose, trying to change the mood, says, “Maybe we can talk to the CEO about it and explain the situation. We can say that she won't do it again and will break up with him. We need to debut.”

“I'll contact Oppa and see if he can get us in touch with the CEO,” says Jennie.

The rest of the girls nod as Jennie heads to her room and calls you. 

The phone rings, and you see that it's from your newest toy. You let the phone ring until you get multiple messages, “Oppa, please answer; it's urgent.”

“Alright, what does this girl want?” as you get your phone to call her back. 

“Oppa, you finally answer!”

“What's the urgency?”

“Miyeon got kicked out of the group by Irene!”

”What do you mean kicked out?”

”Can I meet with you?”

”I get back in an hour.”

”Okay, I'll see you at your apartment.”

You get off the phone with Jennie and immediately call for Irene to come to your office. “Irene, come to my office immediately!”

”Yes, sir!” 

It only takes a minute for you to hear Irene knock at your door before coming inside. “You need something, sir?”

”Can you explain why you kicked Miyeon off the group?”

Irene hesitates to answer, trying to figure out what to say, “I wanted to take care of things before letting you know, but since you are already aware, I’ll explain the situation. 

“Go on.”

”Well, I received proof of Mieyon breaking one of the company’s rules. She hid the fact that she was dating someone and was caught.” Irene pulls out her phone and shows you the picture of Miyeon kissing and holding hands with someone.

”Fuck….”

”I called her to my office and came to the conclusion that it would be best for her and the company to part ways, thus kicking her out of the group as well.”

”I thought you did a thorough background check with all the trainees, especially with them.”

”I thought I did, sir. If I knew, I would have done something about it beforehand.”

”What are we going to do now? The group is scheduled to debut this year, and now they have one member down.”

“I’m sorry, sir. It’s my fault, I take full responsibility.”

”You should. Maybe I should disband your group as well.”

”No, sir. Anything but that. My members have practiced so hard, you can’t do that to them.”

”These girls were going to be my first girl group, so now look at them.”

“So what would you like to do?”

”Not sure. I’ll come up with something.”

---------

Jennie receives a text message and opens it, “Don’t come to my apartment. I know the whole situation. Can’t talk about it now, but some more information will soon come to you.”

Jennie is disappointed that she couldn’t do anything and tries to comfort Miyeon when all their phones go off. Then, they grab their phones and read the following message: “All members are required to attend the emergency meeting at the conference room at 9 AM tomorrow.” They all look at each other, worried and thinking the worst. 

“Are we disbanding?”

----------

The girls arrive early to the meeting and wait for the news of their disbandment as a group. They look at the clock hung up on the wall as it approaches 9 o’clock sharp. 

They see Irene walk and open the door of the conference room, “Thank you for meeting with me today. I’ll be hosting the meeting today. Miyeon, if you could head to the CEO’s office, he would like to speak with you.

The members look at Miyeon as she stands up and exits the door to meet the CEO for the first time.

”Alright, let's start the meeting. I’m sure you all are aware of why you are here. I won’t waste anyone’s time and just let you all know that moving forward, this group will only consist of you four…”

”What? What about Miyeon?” asks Jennie.

”She will no longer be part of your group. I can’t go over more details of her situation but she’ll need to move from your apartment immediately.”

“But…”

”Let me finish.”

”Okay.”

”You five were scheduled to debut at the end of the year, but now that there are only four members, things will be a bit different. Your positions will change, and your debut date will be pushed back.”

”Wait! We were supposed to be the company’s first girl group to debut. This isn’t fair!” shouts Rose. 

“It was this or scrap the team as a whole and start over. Would you like that instead?”

“No, “ says Rose as she quiets down.

”This was something that the CEO thought was best and had minimal impact on the group.”

Irene goes on to explain more about the changes that will occur with the group. 

----------

On the other hand, Miyeon stands in front of the CEO’s office and knocks at the door. She hears a response, opens the door, and is surprised to see you sitting behind a large desk. 

“Oppa?”

”Sit down, Miyeon.”

”Okay.”

”You may know me as one of the staff members, but my true position in the company is CEO. I’m here to discuss your position in our company. You already know the details of the reason why you are here, and I won’t argue with you about it since Irene has already talked to you about it, right?”

”Yes, she did.”

”So here is what we decided to do with you. You will leave the group you are currently in and the apartment you are sharing with them. I went over your file and saw that you have a promise as an idol, so I decided not to kick you out of the company itself. Instead, I'm offering you a position as a junior assistant to Irene; of course, it would be that or leave the company itself, your choice.”

“But doesn't Irene hate me?”

“That doesn't matter. Sometimes, you need to work with people you don't like or don't like you. So what's it going to be?”

“I'll do it. Is there still a chance for me to be an idol?”

“That is up to you.”

-----------

“I know this will be a change for you all, but I hope you make the best of it. It's up to you four if you debut as a group or not. Do you understand?”

“Yes, we understand.”

“Okay, you can all leave.”

The members exited and texted Miyeon but got no reply. They head back to their apartment, and when they open the door, they see Miyeon’s things missing. 

“Let's check the room.”

They see the door slightly open, push it, and see Miyeon's side completely emptied out.

“She's gone.”

Jisoo notices a folded sheet of paper and opens it, “Look, she left something.”

“Read it it, unnie.”

“I'm sorry to leave without saying goodbye, but if I did, I don't think I would have been able to let you girls go. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused and hope you can debut without any problems. I'll cherish all the memories we've made and will cheer for you four. 

Thank you so much,

Cho Miyeon”

--------

It’s been a few days since Miyeon left the group. The members have tried messaging her but to no avail. They continue their practice, but this time, as a four-member group, they try their best not to listen to any of the rumors that the other trainees in the company spread behind their backs. 

Miyeon wakes up early in the morning and prepares for her first day as junior assistant to Irene. She wears a semi-business casual outfit and makes her way to the office. 

“Good morning, Irene.”

”Miyeon.”

”What would you like me to do?”

”Read this,” as Irene tossed a manual onto the desk. “Make sure to get yourself familiarized. We don’t want another incident, right?”

”No, ma’am.”

”Good, because I will make sure there are no second chances. Now, get to reading.”

Miyeon spends more of the day reviewing the material for her new position within the company. The concept of having time for friends or even a boyfriend is now a faraway dream. Her goal now is to do her best with the second change you gave her. 

Miyeon looks outside the office window and sees her former members walking together; all she can do now is cherish the beautiful memories she made with them, her sisters. 

[reidingandwriting]

Speak Now (Hotch’s Version)

Chapter Two: i can see you

“I could see you being my addiction, you can see me as a secret mission”

Word Count: 2,200 words

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings: Criminal Minds level of violence described, definitely Not how solving cases goes but!!, some cursing and some suggestive themes

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

A/N: SOOO sorry for the delay in posting! I was at a convention this weekend and my queued post didn’t post for whatever reason :’) Chapter 3 is still scheduled for tomorrow so I hope you enjoy the back to back update!

“We’ve got a case,” JJ said and you stood up from your desk to walk to the conference room. You had only been a part of the BAU for two months or so now, but the novelty had yet to wear off yet. Every time JJ announced a new case, you got a rush. A wave of a familiar cologne enveloped you, and you felt an arm brush against your own.

“Sorry,” Hotch’s voice filled your ears, the single word causing a chill to go down your spine.

“No problem,” Your voice came out quieter than you expected and you internally cursed. Where did you begin with Aaron Hotchner? Ever since you met at the FBI Banquet, he had occupied your mind. Your first day, you were pleased that he remembered you and since then, he’s seemed… not quite distant but not quite friendly with you either. Not like he was at the banquet. He was professional as his reputation said he would be, but you were wishing there was more to your relationship. You wanted to lean into the brushed shoulders, you wanted to initiate contact with him, but you didn’t want to jeopardize anything with him, especially being so new to the team. But you let yourself wonder, what would happen if you acted on your impulses? If you let yourself think about it long enough, you could see him waiting down the hall for you. Ideally pressed against the wall, but you digress. You shook your head slightly to clear your thoughts as you walked into the conference room, and you took your seat between Spencer and Emily.

“Alright, my pretties,” Penelope greeted once everyone was seated and you looked up at the screen behind her. “Houston has reached out for our help and this one is a bit of a doozy.” Pictures flashed behind Penelope and you felt your stomach turn a little at the pictures.

“Hello, overkill,” Emily muttered and you hummed in agreement.

“We’ve clearly got a very angry person on our hands. There’s been five victims over the last two weeks, and their kill rate is starting to pick up.” Penelope said.

“They’ve killed men and women, no obvious preference for gender,” JJ said and you nodded.

“Can’t say for certain if they’re victims of opportunity, though,” you said. “I don’t know the exact area they’re acting in, but the victims all seem eerily similar. Hair color, skin color, similar builds… Someone is the object of their aggression but our unsub hasn’t gotten to their target yet.”

“And the kills are getting rushed, more violent,” Derek said.

“Wheels up in twenty,” Hotch said as he started to stand.

“You know,” Spencer started and you glanced over at him, “they look similar to you, Y/N.” The room froze and you felt everyone’s eyes turn to you.

“Don’t even say that about my lovely,” Penelope gasped dramatically and you rolled your eyes playfully at her antics.

“There are some similarities,” Rossi said and you looked up at the pictures.

“Similar features, sure, but I don’t think I’ve done anything to piss off anyone to the point of murder in Houston,” you drawled and the room started to disperse. Hotch stayed in the room, his gaze locked onto you.

“If you feel uncomfortable on this case at any time,” Hotch trailed off and you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine, Hotch. I’m not worried. But I promise, I’ll let you know if I get uncomfortable.”

“Thank you,” Hotch nodded in dismissal and you slipped out of the conference room.

-

A week later, you held an ice pack to your head where you sat in the back of an ambulance as you waited to be cleared. Turns out, they don’t call Spencer a genius for nothing. You were a perfect victim for your unsub- Officer Josh Hann- and you found yourself ambushed by him a few hours ago. You were lucky to only get away with a concussion and a few bumps and bruises. Derek stood beside you, his phone held to your ear.

“Yes, Pen, I promise I’m fine.”

“And how is our Boss Man doing?” Penelope asked and you barely repressed a cough.

“Fine, Pen.” Said Boss Man was currently a few yards away, his gaze glued to you as Rossi talked to him.

“Sounds like the perfect excuse for him to watch over you,” Penelope teased and you felt your cheeks start to burn.

“Bye, Penelope.” Penelope cackled as she hung up and you rolled your eyes then winced. “Ow.”

“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear any of that conversation,” Derek teased and you kicked out at him, and Derek laughed as he narrowly missed your leg.

“You're lucky my vision is still a little off or I would’ve got you,” you huffed. The paramedic chose that moment to clear you and you slowly stood, grabbing onto Derek to steady yourself.

“Easy, pretty thing. Hotch is already glaring at me,” Derek lowered his voice and this time, you made contact when you stomped your foot. “You know Penelope can’t keep her mouth closed after a little wine. You’re lucky it was just me she spilled to.”

“I would resign immediately if he knew. Just throw my badge and gun as far as I could and run,” you said and Derek laughed.

“You know there’s a wager going on when he’ll find out.” Another stomp to Derek’s foot silenced him as Hotch walked over. Derek dismissed himself when Hotch was a few feet away

“Are you ready to go?” Hotch asked and you nodded, only wincing slightly after.

“So ready. I want to sleep so bad,” you admitted and Hotch hummed in response. You both started to walk to the cars, where the rest of the team had started to load up. “Not ready to be woken up every few hours to make sure I’m still coherent. I think a little risk of brain damage is worth the uninterrupted sleep.” You huffed and the corner of Hotch’s lip turned up into a small smile.

“I’m sure you’re not much worse than Jack is waking up,” Hotch said and you turned to look at him. Sensing your questioning look, Hotch spoke again a second later. “If you’re fine with me checking on you. I just… I’d feel better if I was the one to check on you. You already got hurt on my watch.”

“That wasn’t your fault, Hotch. But thank you.”

The rest of the night was relatively calm, what bits you remember clearly. You would sleep for a little, be woken up and asked a few questions by Hotch, and he would return to his bed a few feet from your own to repeat the process throughout the night. God, his morning voice would live in your memories forever. You weren’t sure what happened that night, but something changed between the two of you. And you had to admit, you liked the changes.

You found yourself paired with Hotch more often when the team split up. Hotch’s shoulders would brush against yours more often, and when Hotch laid his hand on your shoulder one day, you swear your brain short circuited. Not that you would know because you genuinely think you blacked out briefly from the contact, but Emily and Derek would never let you forget it. As time passed, you noticed you were watched by the team more often, especially when you were near Hotch. The day Hotch sat beside you on the plane, you swore you heard a squeal come from Emily before she was shushed by JJ. And this extra time spent with Hotch was great for you, but so bad for your imagination. You found yourself lost in thought more often, like a lovesick teenager. Imagining things with Hotch you know you’d never get to do, knowing he would never reciprocate your feelings. You’d stick with daydreaming for now; pretending he was waiting at the end of the hall for you when you left work. Pretending it was his suit jacket thrown on the floor instead of your own, his want for you high enough to discard his jacket like it was nothing. You could only dream… or so you thought.

You had been working on paperwork from your last case, when Hotch dropped a folder onto your desk as he walked by. You furrowed your brows as you opened the folder, and you could barely keep your expression under control as you read the sticky note inside- Meet me in my office tonight.You had to read over the note a few times for it to really set in and you glanced up, watching as Hotch went upstairs to his office as if nothing happened.

The rest of work passed by agonizingly slow, and you busied yourself with paperwork you had put off from the week. Slowly, the rest of the BAU agents had trickled out; even if it took all your self control to not push Spencer out of the building when he finally left ten minutes ago. You took a deep breath as you stood, and you made your way upstairs towards Hotch’s office. His blinds were already closed and you knocked on his door.

“Come in.” Hotch’s voice was muffled by the shut door and you slowly opened the door. Sweet Jesus, he wanted you dead. Hotch’s jacket was off, tie slightly loosened, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and you swear your brain once again malfunctioned at the sight.

“I, uh, got your note,” You said dumbly and you fought the urge to run out of the building. “Obviously,” you added and Hotch graced you with a smile, a huff of laughter leaving his lips. The sound helped you relax a little and you smiled softly at Hotch.

“You’re nervous. You’re usually not nervous around me.” The observation was surface level, but it felt like you were being studied. “If you’d rather go-”

“No!” You blurted before you cleared your throat, and you took a seat across from Hotch’s desk. “No. I guess I’m just, I’m wondering why I’m here.”

“Do you have any idea why?” Hotch asked and you leaned forward.

“I have an idea. You could even say I have a desire for why you called me here, but,” you propped your elbows on his desk, “why don’t you clear the air, Agent Hotchner?” A few moments passed in a deafening silence, your eyes locked with Hotch’s.

“I’ve tried to ignore it,” Hotch started. “I felt something different when I met you at the banquet, and I didn’t know what that feeling was. Intrigue, for sure. Then you showed up one day, and Strauss introduced you as my new agent.”

“What can I say? I like being a mysterious entity,” you said.

“And you continued to be one, and it’s gotten stronger since that case you were injured. You’re constantly preoccupying my mind,” Hotch said and you slowly stood up. You rounded his desk and sat on top of it, and you slowly reached out. Your hand found its way to his tie, and you gave it a firm tug, pulling him closer to you.

“Wanna know a secret?” You asked, leaning down closer to him. You were so close, you noticed some gold flecks in his eyes you hadn’t noticed before. “You’ve been on my mind since we first met.” You weren’t sure who closed the gap, but suddenly lips were on yours, and Hotch’s hands were on your hips and you gasped as you were yanked into his lap. You grabbed at his shirt with one hand, your other finding its home in his hair, and you felt a surge of pride when a groan slipped from Hotch’s lips. “Fuck, Aaron.”

Hotch backed away slightly and you almost whined at the loss. “What was that?”

“Aaron..?” You hesitantly repeated and Hotch pulled you closer.

“Fucking hell.” Hotch’s lips were back on yours and you lost yourself, preoccupied with him. You didn’t know how long had passed before you pulled apart, breathing heavy, and Hotch’s forehead rested against your own.

“Penelope will have a field day if she finds out about this.” You breathed out a laugh and Hotch shifted so you were looking at him.

“And what exactly do you want this to be?” Hotch seemed… nervous? Vulnerable? Something different from the confident man you had become infatuated with.

“As much as I loved making out with you, ideally?” You ran your fingers gently through Hotch’s hair. “I’d like to try getting dinner with you. Maybe spend some time together, not hidden in your office.” You smiled at Hotch. “I believe that’s what they call dating these days.”

“I haven’t dated in a while,” Hotch said and you shrugged.

“We’ll figure it out, yeah?” You asked and Hotch nodded. You pressed a gentle kiss to Hotch’s cheek and you let your head rest against his shoulder.

“I think I can work with that.”

[razorblade180]

Jealous Knight Shade

For context, some of yall might remember this story. It’s really old and I just found out a tumblr update completely ruined the format and wouldn’t let me fix the og post. So I had to completely re structure, add, and edit it as a new post.

[Jaune’s Dorm]

Radio:Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s a beautiful sunny day completely with a slight breeze and temperatures in the mid seventies. Perfect for the Vale concert!!! *clicked off*

Jaune:*jean shorts and a muscle shirt* I am sooooo pumped for this concert. The lights, the food, but most importantly….

Blake:*in the bathroom getting ready* The one….the only…….Jaune and

Blake: Casey Lee Williams!!!

Jaune:Gods I can’t wait any longer! Blake, how much longer are you gonna take? We’re gonna end up looking wasted anyways.

Blake:I at least want to start the day off looking somewhat presentable. I never been to a concert before; honestly never expected to go to one.

Jaune:Really? I guess it’s a good thing you met someone who always gets tickets with the best view possible!

Blake:I still can’t believe you’ve met her before! I hope I get the chance to as well.

Jaune:That won’t happen as long as you’re in the bathroom. We still gotta catch the flight! (Actually we’re ahead of schedule, but Yang and Sun don’t need to know I’m hanging with Blake alone. A blonde war is the last thing I need.)

Blake:I’m ready! *walking out* how do I look?

Jaune:It’s about ti-*Blake in a purple crop top and black high waisted ripped shorts. Black ankle high converse and some wristbands*

Blake:*nervous* Well..? I knew it was gonna be a little hot out all day; plus I never get the chance just to dress casual.

Jaune:*red* You look good! Like really good; wait that sounded weird. I mean you know…you……it’s nice.

Blake:*giggles* Thanks. I’m guessing you’re ready?

Jaune:Uhh Yeah! *hands her a water bottle* concerts can get exhausting for her. *puts on a string bag* I got a few other things in here since it’s an all day thing.

Blake:Well isn’t someone prepared?

Jaune:I’m a veteran at these sorts of things.

Blake:Then I guess I’m in your hands then; let’s go. *starts walking away*

Jaune:*watching her walk away* …….. *sips water* I am not ready for today…

[Airship]

Jaune:*leaning forward* If I die right now Blake, tell my ghost about the concert.

Blake:Why would you get Airship tickets if you get air sick?

Jaune:It’s the fastest way. Too much traffic on the road and I’m sure you want to get there as soon as possible.

Blake:You don’t have to go that far for me. *leans in a bit* you look like you’re turning green.

Jaune:You say that and get closer to me?

Blake:*leans back* that could’ve been bad. Last thing I need is vomit on me; especially my hair.

Jaune:About that…*points to her bow* you can take that off since we’re off campus. Honestly I doubt anyone at our school is even gonna show up.

Blake:Yeah but….I just want to have a normal day.

Jaune:You’re more normal with it off to me.

Blake:*red* That’s nice to know. Besides my team you’re the first to say that. Thanks…

Jaune:That’s what friends are for. *leaning back* Phew, I think the worst has passed.

Blake:That’s good… *takes off bow and leans on him* glad you’re feeling normal too.

Jaune:*redish* Yep, things are just…. normal between us. Completely…..normal.

[A long airship ride later]

Jaune:*stretching legs* I’ll never get used to how long this trip is. My legs still feel *Blake runs passed him* asleep…..

Blake:*Looking at the venue* Wow….*it's basically like Coachella*

Blake:There’s so much of it, we'll do everything! It’s almost a little overwhelming. *ears wiggling*

Jaune:*Smiles don’t take it all in at once; you’ll go mad. First things first *pats her stomach* food.

Blake:I had half a mind to claw you just now. *stomach rumbles* but you’re right…

Jaune:Let’s go then, pizza is always a safe bet. *starts walking* I’m pretty sure it’s to our right.

Blake:Uhhh you might want to try left.

Jaune:Huh, really?

Blake:*points to her ears* I can hear essentially everything around here. I here grills to our right, and oven timers to the left.

Jaune:Blake….you’re amazing. Do you know how much of a maze this place can be!?

Blake:It’s no big deal. Still, there’s a lot of people here. I bet there’s a line for food.

Jaune:I can deal with that as long as I know where I am going.*grabs her hand* Let’s go!

Blake:Wait just a- *gets pulled onlookers staring at them*

Blake:Uh, I think people are staring at us.

Jaune:*looking around* I…think you’re right.

Blake:*folds her ears* I thought you said people wouldn’t care about my ears?

Jaune:*pulls out his hoodie and puts it on Blake. It goes down to her hips* Believe me, it’s not your ears. *starts walking behind her.

Blake:? *realization* Ohhhhh *red*

Jaune:Just ignore them and you’ll be fine.

Blake:I’ll try.

Stranger:*whistles* I think this is the first time I cat called a pretty kitty. What do you say about being with a dog?

Blake:Sorry, I’m not a fan of mutts.

Everyone:Ooooooohhhhh!

Stranger:What was that you little-

Jaune:*wraps arm around her waist* Walk away while you can dude. She may be the Faunus but I’m the one who bites.

Blake:*red* (That’s hot; why did it sound so hot!?)

Stranger:…..*stomps off embarrassed*

Jaune:I swear this place is awesome. Some people are just hot heads.

Blake:It’s alright! (He smells nice) Uhh maybe you should keep your arm around me. Just to be safe.

Jaune:Sure *starts walking happily*

Blake:(How did he do that!? Intense one second and happy the next!?)

Jaune:Wanna get some drinks?

Blake:We can’t buy any.

Jaune:*pulls out two fake IDs* I mean....Blake:......Have you always been this much of a rebel?

Jaune:I like to have fun when I can and I want to show you a good time.

Blake:*pondering* You know this is illegal.

Jaune:So is terrorism

Blake:Can’t argue with that; let’s get wasted!

Jaune:Yeah!!!!!*12 hours later*

Blake:*wakes up in a random bed* Ugh my head. Where am I? *sees she’s not wearing a shirt* What did I do!? Who did I do!?

Jaune:*laying on a couch* Look whose awake. *throws her aspirin* btw you slept with no one and this is Casey’s tour RV.

Blake:I met Casey!?

Jaune:You don’t remember?

Blake:.....No!

Jaune:We drank, the show started and we started singing your favorite song…

Blake:From Shadows is underrated.

Jaune:Yes it is. After that some more people started flirting with you and one grabbed your butt. After that I hit him and Casey had her roadies kick him out. She then proceeded to buy everyone drinks....

Blake:God she is a national treasure.

Jaune:After that we got to go back stage where I introduced you two and you turned into a total fangirl. You wanted an autograph but then you passed out and now we’re here.

Blake:That’s it?Jaune......[Last night backstage]

Jaune:*slightly buzzed* Blake, this is my good friend Casey.

Casey:Hello! Nice to meet a fan; also an old friend. *goes to hug Jaune*

Blake:*thoroughly drunk* Excuse me miss Williams! *grabs his arm* But he is taken!

Jaune:Uhhh what?

Casey:*snorts* What?

Blake:This man *hic* right here....is mine! He spent the whole day showing me an absolute great time! *rubs his chest* I intend on repaying the favor tonight.

Jaune:*bright red* You’re drunk Blake....

Blake:Drunk off of your love hehehe *almost falls over*

Jaune:*lifts her over his shoulder* I’m sorry for her. She’s usually super chill.

Casey:I believe it. Maybe I’ll get to meet her with less fireball in her system.

Blake:.....You have a cute butt Jaune. Not as cute as mine but still pretty nice.

Casey:*laughing*

Jaune:Oh boy....do you mind if we crash in your RV? I don’t think she’s quite travel ready.

Casey:No problem, *autographs an album and puts it in his bag* I figure she would want a souvenir.

Jaune:Thanks *turns around and walks away*

Casey:*waves* Bye Blake!Blake:I will fight you for him. You may be amazing but I call dibs! He’s getting laid tonight!

Jaune:You are going to bed!

Casey:*hysterical laughter*

Jaune:*puts Blake on the bed* Sleep!

Blake:Awww but I’m not tired. *takes off her shirt* Maybe you can fix that for me.

Jaune:(Why can’t this happen when we’re sober?) Blake go to sl- *pulled into her arms*

Blake:Come oooooon! I promise it’ll be fun.

Jaune:You’re drunk Blake, that makes it wrong.

Blake:Terrorism and Fake ID’s are wrong.

Jaune:I mean you’re not wr- no! *pulks himself free* Bed, now!

Blake:Fine, we’ll just do it in the morning. *passes out immediately*

Jaune:*flops onto the couch* Sigh, it’s always the quiet ones.

[later]

Jaune:....That’s it. *you got an album by the way.

Blake:Sweet! Thanks for the good time Jaune. Even if it’s a bit hazy *hugs him*

Jaune:Uhhh Blake *red* your shirt.

Blake:Eh, I don’t care. You probably saw them last night.

Jaune:Don’t worry, that’s the only thing I saw.

Blake:Too bad, you could’ve had an amazing night. *whispers in his ear* By the way, Faunus have high alcohol tolerance.

Jaune:*red* Huh!?

Blake:*walking towards the restroom* Well what do you know, this place has its own shower. Can you think of a more perfect way to start a morning?

Jaune:Depends, you remember what you said last night.

Blake:*playfully* Who knows? Maybe you should join me in here and jog my memory Mr. Cute Butt

Jaune:Now that is the best cat calling I’ve heard this entire trip.

[writingsfromhome]

Dos and Dont’s Epilogue

Part 1 / 2/3/4

A/N: for those of you still needing more closure with this story this is for you

——————————————

6 months later:

My apartment was small but it was mine and I got to share it with one of my childhood best friends I’d reconnected with after moving back to the states last year.

Today the sun was setting on the beautiful November day. I had ordered in sushi and was enjoying a glass of wine, waiting for Deanna to get back home and tell me about her date.

These quiet evenings to myself always got me contemplative. Tonight was no different—I get to thinking about my day on set and how tomorrow was going to look.

After coming back from London and submitting my video proposal last spring, I had been rejected to nobody’s surprise. But that hadn’t stopped Harry from intervening and getting me a spot on set. It became a joke that I was a ghost intern there because really all I got to do was shadow people on set and help out where I could. And it had left me hungry for more.

I started building a portfolio and networking like crazy to get on more sets. So far I’d worked on three, once as a general assistant and twice as an arts assistant. I felt myself moving in the right direction I wanted to and it was thrilling.

I had Harry to thank for that really. And just like always, thinking about him sent a pang of achey regret through me.

I’m not sure what happened between us; we kept in touch loosely after I got back to the States. Mostly we talked about my future work and getting on set but after he actually got me on set and I got busy, our conversations fizzled out.

When I landed my second gig and had to maneuver my old job with Oretta she had ultimately let me go. I’d been bitter about failing something then but now I saw it as the kindness that it was—she had let me go and I had the room to pursue this new career.

It wasn’t easy though. The feeling of failure had driven me into the arms of a depressive episode that had taken me back home to Burbank. And when headlines were made of Harry’s new dates and women of the week, I’d taken it as a sign. We shouldn’t be in each other’s lives.

But I missed him every time I thought about him. And I always hated myself a little for not being brave enough to do anything about it, for pushing him away, and for liking him in the first place.

Clearly I was a very health person.

There was a knock on the door and I knew it had to be Deanna.

She distracts me with stories about her date and how well they hit it off. Apparently he kissed her goodnight right downstairs while I’d been drowning in misery on our living room couch.

The next morning, my phone rings at the ass crack of dawn. I expect it’s someone on set and end up being right. So with a few hours of sleep and a slight hangover from last night’s wine, I pick up a large coffee and get to work.

Last night’s thoughts bleed into my drive to work. It was when I was on set especially that I wanted to message Harry. I wanted to update him about all the cool things I was working on and hear what he thought. It was stupid but I wanted him to be proud of me too.

I wonder sometimes if I should have said something in London, been the bold one and taken a leap.

But I couldn’t have.

Harry was a damn rockstar and I was still figuring out my life. I can’t imagine it could have worked. So was it just the maybe, the what-if of us that kept looping in my mind? Or did what I feel for him mean something real, real enough not to shake so quickly.

A knock on my window scares me. It’s another one of the set assistants—Damien, waving at me. I guess I’ve just been parked staring into space. Oops.

“You need a coffee,” he tells me when I join him.

“Can you believe I’ve already had one?”

“I can probably find you a line of coke somewhere on set if you need something stronger?”

“Damien,” I pretend to be scandalized. But after working with these people over the last few years it was a pretty normal sight to see. “Ease into it first.”

He laughs, “I’m joking. I know you’re not…”

“I know,” it gets a bit awkward as it usually did with Damien and I when we started joking. “I’m joking too.”

His face flushes and I welcome someone calling me over to leave the awkward.

The day passes in a blur, the art director had a last minute change sending me to a local antique store trying to source props which was part of the job I enjoyed. With my headphones in I was in a world of structured creativity.

While I look through gold frames one of Harry’s songs comes on and I skip it automatically. I wasn’t quite ready to listen to his addictive voice croon about lovers of his past.

Not that I hadn’t tried going on dates of my own. But the thought of what-if kept me committing to anyone. If I thought about it for long enough it was actually annoying—how he somehow managed to still block my romantic life.

I’m invited for drinks after we’re done shooting for the day. Even though it’s pretty late I decide to say yes. Lately I’d spent my evenings when Deanna’s out just drinking by myself and being miserable. May as well drink with coworkers.

And I actually missed having regular coworkers, like I used to have Winnie. Shit talking about work to destress and drink was one of the highlights of making friends at work.

I have more to drink than I intended, and a small voice in my brain tells me that the amount of alcohol I’d been having recently might be a sign I’m losing it a little. But I order one last drink to shut it up.

At one point I start talking about horoscopes with someone in the bathroom and she ends up showing me how to use the lipstick I complimented them on to overline my lips, and I somewhat remember signing someone’s napkin and telling them to keep it for a few years and what it would be worth.

I also text Deanna an assortment of things and try to call my sister for a pressing matter that I can’t remember when it goes to voicemail. I end up babbling about drinking too much and needing to cut back.

I don’t know what time it is by the time I’ve ridden my high but I want to go home. I huddle by the entrance trying to remember if I came with a jacket tonight or not.

“You’re not driving home tonight are you?” Damien pops up beside me. We’d chatted throughout the night but I’d avoided any awkwardness by constantly inviting other people into the conversation. But right now he has me cornered.

“I’m a very responsible adult Damien,” I slur. “I am getting a taxi.”

“I can drive you home?” He offers.

“You were drinking too mister.”

“No,” he touches the tip of his nose. “I just had a beer and switched to soda afterwards.”

“That’s cheating,” I touch his nose and he laughs. I laugh too.

“We were invited out to drink,” he shrugs. His face flushes. “They didn’t specify what.”

“Cheater,” I tease. “D’you have a car?”

“I could drive yours home? And take an uber home from yours. We don’t live too far away.”

“No way!” I clutch my purse to me. “Nobody drives my car.”

“I didn’t realize you were so possessive.”

“It’s my car!” I let him know.

“But it’s parked on the street. You can’t leave it here weirdo.”

He had a point. Damnit.

“Fine,” I hand him my purse. He opens it tentatively and pulls the keys out.

“I just need these,” he hands my purse back.

“I need those back,” I remind him.

“I know,” he laughs, his hand coming down on my shoulder to lead me out. It sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m parking it in your garage and handing them right back.”

“Good.” I nod.

I pick the music until he tells me I shouldn’t go into singing and he switches the radio to a classical station. I pretend to snore.

“At least it might sober you up.” He pats my leg before snatching his hand off when he realizes he’d touched my bare thigh.

“I don’t feel so good.”

“I know, how much did you drink tonight y/n?”

“No I really don’t feel good.” I complain.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Just hold on.”

I do, I grip my door handle and will myself not to throw up in my car. I was at least lucid enough to know I would hate myself for having to clean it up tomorrow.

He pulls into a Trader Joe’s and I launch myself out in time to throw up on the pavement.

“Are you o-“

“Stop!” I splay my hand out behind me. This was embarrassing enough I didn’t need him to see me actually be sick. “Don’t come closer just…”

“I’ll get you some water.” He calls out and walks away.

How pathetic, I think. How pathetic was I.

Suddenly I want to cry and be left alone. I don’t want Damien driving me home, I don’t want to be drunk, and I don’t want to be here in the middle of nowhere.

When Damien gets back I’m sitting on the curb of a garden bed at the edge of a parking lot. He hands me the water and some electrolytes and gives me space which I’m grateful for. He does linger halfway in the driver’s seat and my anxiety builds until I get up and head back to the car.

“Someone kept calling you,” Damien mentions when I open my door. “I picked up after the third call. I didn’t want to bother you out there.”

“Oh, was it my roommate? Deanna?”

“No,” he scratches the back of his neck. I stare at him, waiting for him to sit back in the car and take me home. I wasn’t having fun anymore.

“Okay…?” I grab my phone from the centre console so I can check myself.

“Someone named Harry? He sounded worried?”

I look up at Damien, wondering if it was a joke even though I know it’s not. He doesn’t even know Harry. His face reflects back an awkward realization.

“Oh.” I can’t get out anything more. I could be decent and tell him that wasn’t my boyfriend—it wasn’t until this moment that I realized Damien was looking at me as more than just a casual friend. And a part of me wonders if that’s the only reason he was helping me out tonight. Then I banish the thought—that was rude. “Thanks for…letting me know.”

“I guess you don’t live with him if your roommate’s name is Deanna,” he tries to joke as he finally gets into the car.

“No that would be hard,” I reply. “He doesn’t live in the states.”

“Long distance,” he nods. I don’t reply and the car goes deathly silent as he drives me the rest of the way home.

I check my phone in the silence, Harry’s texted me. Before he called it seems:

Hey is everything alright?

Y/N I want to call you, you didn’t sound too good in your vm

I’m calling you

Shit! Did I call him first?

My face heats up with a stabbing sensation and I try to blink away the headache that was forming.

I check my call logs and sure enough after calling Deanna I’d called Harry. Why had I called him? I don’t even remember what I said in my voice message.

I groan.

“Is everything ok?” Damien asks.

“No I feel like shit-“

“Do you need me to stop again-“

“No.” I wave his concern away. “I just need to get home.”

I feel bad for him. I didn’t think I was leading him on in any way and yet he had driven me home because he liked me? I decide I’d call him his Uber myself to make it even. To feel like I didn’t owe him something.

When I finally drudge up my stairs to my bedroom I can barely be bothered to remove my clothes or take off my makeup. But my brain is wired thinking about Harry, how he called me.

I must still be somewhat drunk because as I lay horizontally in bed with half of my clothes on the floor I pick up the phone and call him.

H’s POV:

“Hi,” her voice is small and tired. My heart squeezes just hearing it.

“Y/n, you’re alright.”

“Yeah sorry, I think I mis-called you instead of my sister. Your names are beside each other.”

“So you were spilling your guts to your sister then?” I smile.

“Spilling my guts?” I can hear the strain in her voice.

I let her worry for a second longer, “No I’m joking.”

“Oh my god,” she sighs. “What did I say? Please tell me it was nothing embarrassing? It had to be bad if you called me right?”

“It wasn’t bad.” It wasn’t. But she sounded really drunk for a Wednesday night and she was blabbering about drinking too much these days, and needing to stop. It made more sense now that I knew it was for her sister. “But you sounded very drunk. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Sort of. I just wanted an excuse to call her and life had given me a pretty one.

It was stupid that I needed an excuse to call y/n after everything we went through. But truth was I had tried to get on with my life after we drifted away. And I think I did a decent job. I made the missing part shaped like y/n smaller and smaller until it didn’t bother me as much she wasn’t around. That we didn’t talk.

It was weird because she was a constant for a year—whether I liked it or not we had to be around each other all the time while she worked for me. Right up to the end even as things soured, as I wore regret like a second skin and forced myself to continue being the dick that she came to know me as.

And then she left and it felt like loosening my tie; breathing a little easier because I wasn’t always so hyperaware of her in the same room or next room over, about how she looked that day or the way she smelled, the joke she made or how angry she was with me.

Yet it didn’t help that she lingered everywhere.

But then I got to have her. All of her for a few weeks and letting her go after that felt more akin to torture than living with the regret for months while she worked for me. It was worse because I had her and I had to let her go.

I thought I knew what falling felt like, what it felt like to love somebody in all their flaws and be seen in return. But then I met y/n, fell for y/n, and everything changed.

“I’m okay,” she says softly. “I’m home in bed now.”

“Good,” I want to ask her about him. The bloke that answered the phone.

“Where are you?” She asks suddenly. “Isn’t it very early there?”

“Nearly half past 6,” I say looking at my watch. “And I’m at the gym.”

“That’s early,” she comments.

“I’m a morning gym person now.”

“Watch out world,” she says. It’s sleepy and makes me think of her curled into me on the sofa as our voices dim into sleep. Then nudging her to stay over and falling asleep in bed with me. So many hours of movies gone unwatched because we were too busy just being in each other’s presence.

The thing was, I had to let her go; you can’t cage a bright and vibrant woman like her. But it hurt doing that.

It sucked being selfless.

“You sound tired,” I say even though I want her on the line. Even if it’s to hear the sound of her breathing. “You should go to bed.”

“Sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

My breath catches in my throat. I wanted to worry about her, to be close to her enough to worry. And the want of it feels like being punched in the gut.

“You there?” She asks.

“Yeah. Yep, sorry.” I clear my throat. “I’m still here. And it’s fine. I know what can happen when you get drunk, I’m glad you left me the voicemail.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” I miss you. I miss you so often I worry I’ll be stuck with the loss of you forever. And I care so much about you that I can’t risk ruining your life by having you.

“At least I didn’t have to go to the hospital this time.” She jokes. Her speech grows slower as I’m sure sleep pulls her in.

“No. Seemed like you would’ve had help though.” I comment. Fuck. I couldn’t resist.

“If I knew any better Mr. Styles,” she says. “I’d think that sounds like jealousy.”

She’s teasing me, I can hear it in her voice. But my heart pounds as she calls me out.

“Goodnight y/n,” I say cowardly.

“Goodnight Harry,” she replies. I wait for her to hang up first.

That morning, I have an incredibly productive gym session.

Your POV:

I remember last night in bits and pieces and I’m mostly embarrassed but I can’t stop hearing Harry’s voice in my head. The way he sounded when he said he was glad I left him the voicemail. How he sounded almost jealous at the idea that whoever picked up the phone could be more than a friend. I feel sucked right back to half a year ago when I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

The one thing I did know though, I had to really cut back on the drinking.

I go into work with a bag of doughnuts and hope nobody remembers last night in detail. I make sure to thank Damien and he’s as awkward as ever.

My thoughts are replaced by business and set instructions as the day goes on and I’m grateful for that.

At home I dissect the phone call with Deanna and when I’ve had enough I try to distract myself by asking about her life.

In a way talking to Harry again was like taking an elephant-sized step backwards—it felt like I was in the same headspace of wondering about him and yearning for him all over again. I found myself looking him up, checking to find new information on his life. Even when I could just text him and get the answers straight from him.

A couple weeks later as I park my car in my garage and make my way up to my apartment I get a call. It’s him.

“Hi? Harry?” I answer.

“There she is!” He says loudly into the phone. I have to pull it from my ear.

“Jeez you’re loud,” I comment.

“I need you to be louder,” he laughs. And I realize why he’s called. I check the time, it must be near midnight in the UK.

“Are you drunk dialling me?” My face stretches into a smile and it feels like a betrayal. Why did this man affect me so easily.

“I thought that’s what we did nowadays! Call each other drunk!”

“That was once,” I enter my apartment and put away my things while we talk.

“You’ve unlocked the garden door,” he continues. “And now I have stepped through. I am calling you.”

“He rhymes even when he’s drunk!”

“I write music!”

“I know,” I laugh. “Good music.”

“D’you listen to me?” He asks. “I never asked you that.”

“Mmm not really my taste,” I tease.

“S’cuse me?!” He sounds offended. “I have heard your taste and my music is for your palate.”

“No I don’t think so,” I was having fun.

“Y/n.” He says seriously. “I have heard you listening to Troye Sivan.”

“And? Are you comparing yourself with that fine man?”

He sputters and I continue winding him up until I finally confess: “I listen to your music. Just not lately.”

“Why?” He sounds sad.

“Are you drinking by yourself?” I ask. I imagine him in his living room, knocking back a few bottles.

“Yes. I’m drinking all by my lonely self. Because you’re not here.”

“Lonely self? That’s not what the papers say,” I say without meaning to.

“Y/n,” he lets out a small laugh. “Y/n y/n y/n. If I knew any better I’d think that sounds like jealousy.”

“Oh you’ve been keeping that in your back pocket!” I flush.

“Mhm,” he hums happily.

God, it hits me, what were we doing.

The line goes silent and I try to muster a positive voice to ask something to keep the conversation going but I find I can’t. I feel heavy and sad, like there’s a weight in my chest that’s pulling me down.

“Y/n,” he murmurs. Goosebumps erupt across my chest and I recall a memory of that exact voice in my ear with our hands entangled in his bed.

The ache in my chest grows stronger. So strong I nearly confess three words I barely admitted to myself.

I didn't understand it; how a man that made my life so miserable for so long could tug forth such intensity and longing.

He'd explained it to me—told me why he became what he did. And it just endeared me to him more.

Every man l've dated since, even the man I thought was it for me-Gray, never made me reach so deep into any feeling I was scraping the bottom looking for more.

He knew me enough to nudge me towards this new chapter of my life. This (forced) career change. He knew me in a way nobody else has. It was hard to let that go.

But he wasn't planning on sticking around for any of it—why.

“Why,” I start to ask. I bite my tongue before my impulsivity gets the better of me.

“What?” Harry asks.

“Oh nothing,” I try to play it off.

“You asking something?”

“Nope,” I deny.

“Just ask don’t be shy,” Harry taunts. “Y/n isn’t shy.”

“I-“ I’m tempted but I shake my head and then realize he can’t see me. “It’s nothing.”

“If it’s nothing then say it.” He pushes. He was pushy for being so drunk.

“Why did you stop talking to me?” I ask quickly.

The line goes quiet again.

“It takes two,” he replies. “To stop.”

“But why did you stop?” I ask.

“It wasn’t enough,” he states simply like it should make sense to me. But it doesn’t.

“What?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. You got cold.”

“Cold?!”

“Yes!” He shouts again.

“Too loud,” I complain.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “You got cold like…like ice. You got icy. You iced me out.”

“No I didn’t,” I deflect his accusation.

“You did! And it wasn’t enough. And I thought y/n doesn’t like me so I let you go.”

What!? I try to make sense of his drunk ramblings. It’s because I was fired from my job, I was lost and spiralling and I stopped talking. I stopped responding to his texts as much until they stopped coming altogether.

“I didn’t like you a long time ago,” I tell him. “That stopped after we talked. After you explained things.”

“Why did you stop?” He asks me instead.

“I…I was going through a rough time. I didn’t mean to but after a while I just thought it was for the better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going through a rough time?” Harry asks with a surprising tone of clarity. “Why didn’t you let me help?”

“I didn’t want you to help.”

Maybe I did ignore Harry’s messages because I didn’t want to admit where I was. To admit that I needed his help. And I was too stubborn to admit that his connections in the industry could help me further kickstart my new career. That I could lean on him for help but it felt like cheating in an industry that liked to brag about working hard to earn where you got to. So I’d avoided him.

Jeez. I hadn’t even admitted that to myself until now. And suddenly the shame comes back tenfold. A creeping heat spreads up my neck alongside a slow squeezing of my chest as the silence stretches. I feel exposed and I want to bury myself under my blankets until the feeling passes.

“Why?” His voice breaks a little. I grit my teeth.

“I don’t know.”

“Y/n,” he says my name again and I want to cry. Because I say I don’t know but I do. And so does he. “Why are you building your walls again?”

I can’t speak, I’m so choked up with emotion and the last thing I want to do is cry over the phone to a drunk Harry. Unless this conversation sobered him up. Which is even more embarrassing.

"What do want us to be?" He asks suddenly.

"You can't ask me that," I say nervously, but the question zips through me in a frenzy.

"No you're right" he sighs noisily. "I think about you.”

"Me too," | whisper. Did he think about me when he was with all those women, I want to ask. Or was it subject to certain moments only.

"You ruined me y/n," he says it so softly I think maybe he hasn't said it at all. But he repeats it even lower and I know I didn't hear it twice.

My heart sings the same tune, and then I realize: how did I expect him to stay in touch and continue on with our lives when part of us would always be looking back at each other.

“I should go,” I try to keep my voice steady. “It’s getting late and Deanna’s coming home soon and I have to-“

“Okay,” he says but the word is laced with more. It’s okay.

“Okay.” I return. Will it be?

Silence again. The tears coating my lashes land on my cheeks and I wipe it away.

“I like hearing your voice,” Harry says.

“Me too,” I sniff.

“Goodnight y/n y/l/n.”

“Goodnight Har.”

***

I meant to text Harry after that conversation. I meant to apologize or say something—create a bridge that we can meet in the middle of. Even if it’s just as friends.

Me and him have been through a lot together, and so much on our own whilst around each other. We should be able to be friends, long-distance, pining but friends. It couldn’t be that hard.

And yet my fingers hover over his name every lunch break and bedtime. I think about him so much it becomes a permanent fixture in my brain.

And yet I never message him. Weeks go by and it stays quiet. Even from him.

On the final day on set I join some of the team for dinner and drinks. I stick to a single glass of wine and promise Damien I could drive myself home. I’d set him up with someone else on set who I noticed eyeing him with a lingering look and they had spent most of the night talking. It was sweet.

The group reminisces about the shoot and everyone pipes in about projects they were going to move onto soon. I didn’t have anything lined up right now so I listen to everyone else.

As night creeps up on us and people start to leave slowly, I text Deanna I was heading home too. After the night I spent drinking too much I’d taken to letting her know where I was and when I was heading home to make sure I stayed lucid enough on nights out. Otherwise we had agreed she would come and get me.

I step out with Damien and the girl he’s become attached to after tonight. We chat outside the place for a bit as her uber arrives and Damien points out he had driven today and parked nearby.

“I don’t know why we didn’t walk up long time ago,” I laugh and turn to Damien. “Don’t worry Damien I don’t need you to drive me home this time.”

“Uhh that’s good,” he says and motions behind me to my car with widened eyes.

“Yes,” I say with a smile. I spin around to my car and freeze.

The last person I ever expected to see leans against my passenger door, arms crossed and smiling with that smile that says I see you and I don’t care what you’re doing but I’m glad I’m here with you.

“Hi,” Harry says softly, his eyes twinkling under the street light.

“Hi?” I gape. “Wh-how-what are you…oh my god!”

His smile grows to a full grin as I throw myself at him and it’s like my mind and my whole world quiets. Like I never knew how loud everything was up until I felt the silence in his arms. Like everything would be okay because he was here.

“Oh god,” I turn back to Damien, remembering he was here too. “Sorry—I wasn’t expecting him to be here-“

“Is this Harry?” Damien asks.

I look at Harry and nod in response. Harry’s eyes flash with something as he leans forward and shakes Damien’s hand.

“I didn’t realize by Harry you meant Harry Styles uh it’s nice to meet you?” Damien’s awkwardness comes back in full force.

Harry’s eyes flicker between Damien and I and I remember that he thought there was something going on here.

“Damien and I worked together on set. Today’s actually our last day!”

“Yeah!” Damien fidgets. “It was a cool time…”

“Yeah?” Harry lights up slowly, realization dawning on him too. “Well I have to say thanks mate, for taking care of her the other night. That was you right?”

“Oh right when I picked up your call,” Damien nods. “Shit I didn’t realize who I was speaking to…” We laugh as Damien grows more awkward. “Anyway I’ll leave you two alone. G’night Y/N. Nice meeting you Harry.”

“Goodnight!” I wave him off.

I turn back to Harry with a huge grin. “You totally thought he was with me didn’t you?”

“Can you blame me?” He asks, his hand coming down on my waist, tugging me towards him. I go without hesitation.

“You’re here,” I take his face in my hands. “How? Why? When? Tell me everything.”

“I was in town,” he starts.

“Really?” I raise a brow.

He laughs, and hearing it rumble through his chest while his arms encircle me feels like a shot of espresso straight to my heart.

"Y/n," his mouth forms my name. I want to taste the way that feels again. See if that's changed too.

"You're here."

"How did you know?" I ask even though I knew it had to be Deanna.

“I have my sources,” he smiles secretly. We can’t stop smiling.

He brushes my hair to the side and it feels like a dream. He was here. He was gathering my face in his hands, hands I only dreamed of.

“I was in town,” he begins again. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

My breath catches and I can't stop staring at him; he looks even more handsome and chiseled than the last time I saw him.

He looked like something that made my heart sing and my stomach tingle.

I trace my hand up his arm and around his shoulder. I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his arms around me.

He laughs which makes me laugh but neither of us take our eyes off of each other.

He reaches up, fingers threading through my hair. "Is this okay?"

"You're always okay," | say which makes him laugh again. What I mean to say is we're okay. Whatever you want to do is okay, as long as it's with me.

"I missed you." He whispers in my ear and it travels right to the centre of my heart.

"Prove it." I respond.

His mouth is delicate as it presses against mine, whispering soft words against them. They make me ache with a hunger I'd only ever felt around him.

When he looks at me again his eyes are more black then green but I recognize them the same. I don’t know how we’re going to make the trip back home when clearly we just want to soak each other in again.

I have an idea.

I open the backseat and Harry looks at me with a mischievous smile.

“Really?”

“You’re not getting lucky,” I roll my eyes with a smile. “But I really want to kiss you indecently and this is the closest place to do that.”

With a laugh he hustles in, tossing something in the backseat, and I follow, every inch of my body aflame. He shuts the door behind me and meets me halfway.

***

Waking up to Harry is better than catching up with him last night. Because things are so much more real when they remain the morning after. It doesn’t feel like just a dream.

“G’morning,” he mumbles when our eyes meet. He looks sleepy but content. Or maybe that’s just how I feel.

“Morning,” I smile, suddenly feeling shy. Last night was all passion and fun but the reality sets in this morning—what were we? Where were we going from here? “M’gonna brush my teeth.”

He follows me into the bathroom, luckily Deanna’s already headed off for work. He brushes with me in the small sink and we can’t stop looking at each other through the mirror. Like our eyes were magnets and they couldn’t help but find their way to the other’s.

“So did you really come all this way for me?” I ask as I brew us coffee. “Does anybody know you’re here?”

He tilts his head, “a couple people know I’m here but everyone thinks I’m just taking some time before we wrap up my album next month.”

“What!” I stop what I’m doing to give him my full attention. “You’re nearly done?”

“Yeah!” He comes closer to me, taking the coffee pot from my hand. “Final sound editing at the studio up north. So I’m s’pose to be here next month anyway but I’m just here early. For you.”

I’m afraid to ask, did that mean he was all mine for the next couple weeks of November? But the moment passes and I continue putting together a breakfast.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I say for the millionth time.

“Me too,” he kisses the side of my neck and helps me carry our coffees to the table. “I intend to spend as much time with you as possible.”

He answers my unasked question and I feel like I’m glowing from the inside. “Yeah well I just finished on set so I’m unemployed until the next thing I’m on. So I’m all yours.”

“How’s that all going? Tell me.”

So I do. I take him through the sets I’ve been on and the people I’ve worked with. He asks great questions and I feel so deeply seen and not just because he doesn’t take his eyes off of me once.

The conversation leads to a repeat of last night and we end up spending most of the day in bed but I wasn’t complaining.

“I haven’t done this in ages,” he says with a kiss on my head. “Just stayed wrapped up in sheets all day.”

“I think the last time I did this was in London, with you.” I kiss his chin. “That feels so long ago.”

“Every day without you feels so long,” Harry says. “I shouldn’t have let it get this long.”

I shrug, “Yeah. I think I convinced myself it was good. We were fine like that. But now that I have you my god that was too long.”

He chuckles and pulls me into a deeper kiss. He tastes like sleepy familiarity and his hands grip me in places that have made a home for his fingers. I think I was in love with this man.

“What?” Harry asks. I must have paused. “You alright?”

“Yeah yeah,” I go back to kissing him but he pulls away. “No I’m fine! Promise.”

He believes me.

We spend a few days just doing nothing but everything with each other. I introduce him to Deanna and we do dinner together with Harry in a costume so he doesn’t get recognized. Deanna finds it very amusing and so do I. Harry seems tense and I worry it’s because we’re laughing at him but he reassures me it’s not.

I know it wasn’t going to last forever, Harry had a busy life to get back to, but I savour the slow moment we have all to ourselves.

Near the end of the week, while I’m driving us out to a hiking spot Harry brings up something on his mind.

“Can I say something, and you can’t get mad?”

“Well I can’t guarantee that.”

“Try not to?” He asks.

“Maybe.” I can’t promise him that.

“Fine I’ll settle with maybe,” he jokes.

“So are you going to tell me?” I eye him as I pull into the parking lot. He had gone silent.

“Yes, I’m getting to that.” He bites his lip. “Don’t take this the wrong way but you seem a bit distant. Not from me just…from yourself.”

“I seem distant from myself?” I laugh.

“Yeah,” he fidgets with his belt and we exit the car. “Like the y/n I know is only 70% there.”

“What?!”

“No see now don’t go getting mad love,” he says and his pet name only softens the moment slightly. “I just wonder if you’re really alright.”

“Of course I am,” I bristle.

“You always have this fire about you but right now-.”

“Jeez Har, if you’re comparing me to before in London I was more high strung than usual, constantly stressed and having personal issues with my ex. And you were making my life hell. Why are you comparing me to her?”

“No I know!” Harry tries to hold my arm but I brush him off and speed away down the trail. But his stupid long legs catch up easily. “This isn’t coming out how I meant to. But even when we were together last spring. You were still you. You just seem a little sad?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pull away from him more. “You can’t go MIA for months then pop back into my life and tell me I’ve changed like it’s a bad thing.”

“Y/n you’re purposely not understanding me here,” Harry starts to grow frustrated beside me and it makes me less frustrated sharing the emotion. Like I said—I was very healthy. “I’m not saying you’ve changed. Or that changing is a bad thing! I think you’re a lot more confident and stronger than ever before. I’m just saying your light’s been a bit dimmer in the time I’ve been with you and I’m worried you’re going through something you’re not sharing.”

“Oh my god,” I feel tears prick my eyes and I blink them away before stuffing my glasses onto my face. “My light’s been dimmer? Seriously? I’m fine. I’m okay Harry. You don’t have to worry-“

“But I want to-“

“Well you don’t. And it’s a little late to try and pry me open and dissect what you think is wrong with me.”

“Well I’ve already pried you open it’s the dissecting part that—ow!”

I’ve hit him with my bottle and he shuts up. He was so not funny.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “But I’m here if you want to talk.”

Too little too late, I think bitterly. And the strength of the bitterness surprises me. I stay quiet, not wanting to spew anything I’ll regret later. He trails behind, giving me the space I need.

Apparently I was bitter about our time apart. But I know that wasn’t entirely his fault—I’d admitted to pushing him away because I’d been too embarrassed. Too stubborn to accept I could use his help. So what was it?

I didn’t think I was any less myself than I was a year ago. But as soon as I think it I know it’s untrue.

I sigh and let the sunlight filtering through the coastal oaks and shrubbery warm my skin. Harry continued a steady pace behind me and I feel slightly sorry for getting so defensive.

I continue one step at a time on the worn path walked by so many. I’d done this several times with friends and it was supposed to be special doing it with Harry but I’ve just ruined it.

I ruined it.

If I was any lesser than in my personality, like Harry said, it was probably because I ruined things. And I was upset with myself. I feel like I let Harry go, that I failed at the career I thought I was going to spend a lifetime. I ruined the thing between Harry and I with pride, by pushing him away! And life’s beaten me down with it.

I haven’t been being very honest with myself. Because the truth did hurt. And I’ve been a wimp.

I glance back at Harry but his head his down, his head of curls bouncing at the effort of the uphill slope. My heart floods with warmth just looking at him and I can’t believe I’ve been an idiot.

“Harry,” I stop in the middle of the trail and he nearly bumps into me. He steadies himself on my shoulder and I grasp his hand there before he can remove it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bitch back there.”

“It’s alright.” He squeezes my shoulder, but his eyes are still wary. “I shouldn’t have been so insensitive. I do that sometimes.”

“No,” I rush to answer. “No you have a point. And I don’t expect you to ever stop calling me out-“

“Likewise,” he gives me a small smile that feels like relief.

“You’re right. I just don’t think I’ve sat long enough to accept it.”

His finger brushes my cheek, wiping the fallen tear. I was not supposed to cry!

“Let’s keep going,” he suggests and I’m grateful for that.

“I think,” I sniffle as my body strains to finish the final stretch of our hike. “I feel like I should be happy and grateful for where I am now. I’m actually really passionate about this new work I’ve been taking on! But a part of me feels like I’m going through the motions. And that makes me feel so shitty.”

My life in London had crashed and burned but it had felt full. Out here I was so spread apart from everyone, I no longer worked at a steady job, and the only person I had was Deanna. Sometimes I think I relied on her too much.

“I think you expect too much of yourself,” Harry puts his hand around my shoulder as we near the end and even though I’m sweaty and it’s kind of gross I let him. “I know how that goes.”

“Yeah maybe,” I brush away another tear. “I just don’t feel very present. I’m either living in the future or living in the past.”

Harry’s face twists into what I can only describe as a knowing grimace.

“Well we made it,” I gesture to the open water below us. We stand for a little while, breathing it in. It reminds me of the first music video set I’d been on with him. When we were getting along and he had seen my enthusiasm for that sort of thing.

“I’ve been living in the past a lot.” Harry admits. “More than usual.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Y/n,” he says and I turn to look at him. Right, I flush. Me.

“What the fuck did we do to each other?” I ask and we laugh. And then laugh some more, releasing a tension neither of us realized we were carrying.

We end up sitting in the ground catching our breaths again. He pulls me into his chest and kisses the top of my head.

“I don’t know how we keep screwing up.”

“It should be a record,” I laugh. “We really don’t know how to deal with each other.”

“Fucking hell,” he laughs.

“What do we do?” I look up into his eyes that are deeper than the forest we hiked through. They’re so full of love that I could drown in them willingly.

“Firstly I should tell you something, long overdue.” He says. He kisses me with a sweetness before telling me, “I’m madly in love with you. I never thought I could feel this way about someone.”

“Well I don’t know how that someone could be me,” I joke but mostly to cover up just how hard his words hit.

“You wound up in my life when I was at my worst-“

“And taken you even lower,” I joke again.

“No.” He brushes my cheek. “No, that was my own doing. You made me believe I could be better. That I should be better, that I shouldn’t be defined by past mistakes. I love you y/n.”

Woah. I wasn’t expecting that.

I scramble to sit up and face him. “Seriously?”

“So serious.”

“Harry,” I hold his face in my hands. It was true, something I barely admitted to myself but as I roll the words through my head it feels true.

“Don’t feel pressured to-“

“I love you too Harry. God. I love you. That felt good to say.”

He laughs and pulls me to him, and even though we’re smiling too hard to actually get a proper kiss in it’s one of the most romantic moments of my life.

“I don’t think this is going to solve our issues,” he says once we’ve dusted ourselves off and prepare to say goodbye to the view. “But I want to try to stay connected.”

“You’ve told me you love me there’s no getting rid of me now.” I warn him.

“I was scared,” he confesses. “I never told you I wanted you to stay. That I wanted you so fucking badly because I was scared you would get so overwhelmed by my life, how much is in the public eye and all of that. I don’t want to subject you to that-“

“We’ve already been papped together remember?” I raise a brow. He blushes as the memory surfaces.

“The night I acted like a complete arse yeah thanks for reminding me.”

“Look at you blushing,” I pat his cheek. He brushes me off. “But I know what I’m getting myself into Harry. I’ve worked for you! I know how public your life is. And we can figure it out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” I reassure him.

“Does that mean…?”

“What are you asking Mr. Styles?”

“Please don’t call me that again,” he groans. “I don’t want to be Mr. Styles to you anymore.”

“No?”

“Only if you’d be Mrs. Styles.”

Now it’s my turn to flush. He laughs at me the same way I did him.

“Harry I barely know what I’m doing with my life. But I do know I love you, and I want to be with you. So I’ll figure the life stuff out as long as I get to have you.”

“That’s very romantic.” He teases.

“I know,” I smile.

“Good. I’d give up the life I have now if it means getting to have you Y/N.”

“Romantic enough,” I tease.

“Remember when we realized we had been at the same Coldplay concert and-“

“Not this again,” I groan. “I’m not bloody asking you to give up your fame and money to start a family.”

“I know I know!” He laughs. “But I just want to tell you that you could. I wouldn’t mind.”

I fan myself, “It’s getting too romantic. Let’s get out of here.”

And that’s the note on which we make our way back down to our car, completely different how we made our way up. It sets the tone for the remainder of his time here.

8 months later:

“G’morning!” I wave to the front desk and walk to the elevator that would take me up to the apartment I called home now. It was spring in the city I’ve grown to love again.

“Is that you?” Harry’s voice calls out when I walk to the kitchen.

“Yes! And I have coffee!” I shout back. I couldn’t sleep last night—first day jitters that I always got when working on a new set.

“Bollocks!” Harry’s voice sounds closer. “I was supposed to do that for you for first day on set.”

“Too bad,” I push the coffee towards him on the island but he ignores it to come to me instead.

“Is it?” He arches a brow. His hands are already running up my sides and my breathing grows shallow. He never failed to pull this reaction from me. Even when we “hated” each other.

I can’t take the teasing so I lean up to press my mouth to his and the coffee is forgotten as he lifts me up on the island and trails his lips down my body. I didn’t need caffeine when I had this.

No. Wait. I had a job to get to.

“Harry,” I try to grab his face back up. “Harry, love, I can’t-fuck.”

“Sorry,” he smiles up at me sheepishly and if I could take a shot of that face it would seriously sustain me for the rest if my life.

“I can’t.” I pout.

“I know. Sorry I got carried away.”

“Drink your coffee,” I steal one last kiss. “Now I feel like I need a cold shower.”

His laugh echoes through the room. “I said I was sorry!”

He dramatically moves to the opposite end of the island and sits down, holding the coffee up to his face. “Mmmm.”

I smile at the man who had my soul and heart. I was so glad I’d made the plunge to move back to where he was.

After Harry left the States when he finished his album we had tried our best at long-distance. I was afraid to uproot my life to London again and he was willing to move out to San Francisco but I didn’t want him to. I knew his life was in London.

We tried going back and forth for a couple months. I’d invited him back home to Burbank during one of those trips and everyone had hit it off. It almost felt like the missing piece I was looking for to take the plunge. To decide once and for all I was moving away again.

The last time I moved I was running away from everything I knew because I thought it would gain me independence and a life I craved. But ultimately I came crawling back home.

This time I take the leap running to something.

I miss being closer to family, and living with my best friend. I beg Deanna to visit every time we catch up but recently she’s told me she’s moving in with the guy she’s been dating and it makes me feel less bad about leaving her behind again.

Harry decided to move his work life out of the flat to give me privacy, now his team worked out of a small office in central and sometimes I popped by when he was there. We tried to keep ourselves out of the limelight, and so far things had stayed private.

“I’m going to pick you up tonight,” Harry reminds me. “Are you sure I can’t give you a lift there too?”

“No I want to take the train,” I insist. I needed my first day to be independently mine.

We chit chat as we finish breakfast and then I’m out the door again towards my first day. It’s a cool morning but the sun climbs into the sky and I know it was only going to get warmer.

I had promised the city that I’d be back one day and this was it. I had laid down roots once before and I was back to try once more; my heart was open enough to embrace it, healed enough to love it again.

I was embracing life again and it felt like my glow was back.

Jeff keeps asking if you’re showing up to the album launch, Harry texts.

Obviously, does Jeff not want me there? I text—it was a running joke between us ever since we came out to Jeff that he hated us together. His reaction had been surprise and then resignation. He was tight-lipped about us any time he saw us together.

He’d rather you throw the party.

I didn’t miss that part of the job. Now when I look back at my old career I’m not sure how I did it for years. It was a stress I didn’t want back.

He’d have to pay me a million dollars, I text back.

I’ll let him know your new rates

I get to the tube and sit down. As I lose service I get one last text from Harry.

I love you. Break a leg

And then: but don’t get concussed or anything

I roll my eyes but the smile stays on my face. To be loved is to be known but to be loved is also to have someone else know all of your stupid moments and know you won’t ever live them down.

I send back a heart and an eye-roll emoji.

The tradeoff was worth it…most of the time.

[laylajeffany]

hello, me again.

I finished Chaos for the Fly yesterday and I’m still recovering. It was absolutely incredible. I already know watching season 2 of Wednesday will be weird because I’ll be expecting to see all your amazing OCs.

In the sequel, are we going to see more of Wednesday exploring her mimic abilities?

Thank you again for writing such an incredible story!

Thank you so much :3 It is the first time I’ve managed to finish a million word plus story, and I’m so glad I posted this one, otherwise I would have probably stopped writing back in about September of last year and it would have been one of my many abandoned, epic-length WIPs in my Cloud. I’m pretty proud of this story. I learned so much about myself writing (and finishing) it; I’ll forever be grateful I spent a year pouring all of my free time into a silly little fanfic project for what I got out of it.

If you loved OC Dr. Holly Gallor, check out Lovely Thorns for the love story of her and Larissa. There’s an update to that one coming this week! I also have a prompted Emiliana one-shot that will be here coming in the next week as well. 

SPOILERS and a TINY sneak peak for the Chaos sequel, Karma in Glorious Splendor, below the cut ;)

Spoilers: We will absolutely be exploring Wednesday’s Mimic abilities in the sequel. In fact, it’s a point of contention. Within the first 10k or so of Chapter 1 we see they’re not always as simple (or consequence-free) as simply copying someone else’s power as she might’ve thought and anticipated in the first installment. We’re going to dive into more of the Raven lore as well. 

There will also be a more heavy focus on the ‘homespun magic.’ Writing parts of the Frump family history made me fall in love with the idea of witchcraft again - reclaiming what’s been appropriated and sold to a mass market and making it all about intentions and what has meaning to the user…it’s certainly gotten me more in touch with my own sense of spirituality over the last year and I’ve appreciated it. I intend on having at least the same amount of time with Morticia as I did in Chaos. She doesn’t always understand what Wednesday’s experiencing, but just like Wednesday learned about intentions - it’s what you make of something that can change the outcome.

I think just by the nature of how Wednesday is growing, the Wenclair pairing will absolutely be more of a focal point in the sequel. Enid was critical to her journey, but she had to learn a lot of skills and history from others to be on the ride at all. Moving forward, she gets to pick her own path a little bit more, and with roadblocks in every single direction - she will be turning to Enid for what to do about it, rather than so many of the adults around her. 

There will still be heavy themes of Wednesday’s idea of justice differing from what the reality of living in a system and the real world. An era of reconstruction is that - it doesn’t happen overnight, and we’re going to have to see Wednesday mature to make it through the slow-moving wheel of bureaucracy (even in the Outcast world). That ‘gift of time’ that she received for her birthday at the end is as much a curse as it is a blessing.

Her relationship with Larissa Weems has also changed so much. It isn’t the driving force behind any of Wednesday’s motivations in the sequel, and it’s going to take her remembering what they went through to keep stability between them.

As for OCs, Josie/Dr. Zypher will for sure have more of a backseat role in Karma - but Emiliana is going to be going through it, in terms of her Raven abilities and other struggles, even by the first 30k of chapter one that I’ve written so far. I have no intention of creating any more aside from any who are needed for the Werewolf Council.

Speaking of, we’ll be seeing tremendous growth from Enid through Wednesday’s POV as she faces her future and makes peace with her past. So much so, that it might just be a point of angst and contention for the girls as it seems like she’s moving so much farther ahead of Wednesday, who feels traps by a myriad of forces against her will. 

Does this sound enticing? I hope so ;) I’ve enjoyed getting back into it - I’ve got very strict rules about when I’m allowed to work on writing it and I’ve been following them very well as not to let this one take over my life.

SNEAK PEAK (1,300 words) Featuring Morticia, Wednesday in the ether - bumping into Goody Addams Morticia obviously sensed that Wednesday was stewing in thoughts that day as she suggested, “A detaching meditation, to help you focus more on the present and less up here.” She tapped her own head and Wednesday scowled but didn’t disagree. “The midsummer solstice is just a few days away – so I am grateful you are dwelling on things that require extensive thought. However, it is possible the earth isn’t quite balanced enough and ready for you to explore them so deeply without the shift in the cosmos that the season will bring.”

Not sure entirely how much she subscribed to that, Wednesday also recognized that it wasn’t safe to spend so much time in her head, and agreed to a unique meditation with her mother. Morticia tried not to look too eager as she brought Wednesday out to the back porch closest to her study; the evening sun still had plenty of time to bathe her in the brightness that her nature tried to defy.

Morticia tucked a black string of beads over Wednesday’s shoulders, and she lifted a sunflower charm at the middle to examine it. “Holly says that Larissa is like a Sunflower.”

That made her mother give a knowing smile. “Tall, radiant, and always looking towards the sun, the light. I suppose that’s an accurate simile. Sunflowers are an old symbol for our solstice, as you know – though the perennials here won’t be in bloom for us until late July. Still, as we recognize the light of the season, I believe the symbol is appropriate.” She tucked herself beside Wednesday, her hands in her lap, her shoulders back – posture always immaculate. Wednesday tried to mimic her, shaking her head as she even thought about that word. “You spoke a powerful piece during supper, darling. But I know that’s not all that is on your mind. Would you like to release it, before you attempt to clear it?”

Wednesday moved the sunflower around on the string of beads, refusing to let out the heave of a sigh that threatened her. She really didn’t want to discuss physical intimacy with her mother on the back porch of their family home on a warm night in June…or, really – ever, if she could avoid it. There had surely been a few necessary conversations that had been had after her traumatic visions that past year regarding the topic, but that was a little bit different. She knew that Morticia would do her best not to gross her out with personal anecdotes – she’d gotten so much better at figuring out how to talk to her daughter…

“No,” She finally decided, seeing just the faintest twinge of disappointment in her mother’s still-gentle, mostly understanding smile. “I’m grateful you recognize what I need. I’m simply not ready to vocalize it. But – if I want to enjoy the next few days and try not to give into melancholy after the inevitable loss of time with Enid, I do need to let these thoughts go.” She let out the breath, finally, squaring her shoulders a little more to match the Dove beside her. “Teach me how?”

Morticia reached into a prepared basket, pulling out a small bundle of wildflowers. She placed three, five-sided thimbleweed plants in front of her, explaining, “Thimbleweeds are long since said to ward off negative energy. You are going to follow your usual light seeking breath work. Just before you slip into formal meditation to enter the ether, you are going to pluck each petal, and release your thoughts as you do so – three times. After you achieve peace in the ether, bring me your petals. We will steep them overnight, and then pour that negative energy down the drain in the morning.”

Wednesday wanted to merely accept what she’d said – but her always looming desire to be ornery won out as she corrected, “Sure, but – thimbleweed plants don’t have petals, they’re technically sepals.”

At that, her mother let out a throaty laugh that ended with a half a groan and a kiss to the top of Wednesday’s head as she stood up, squeezing her shoulders in a hug. “Release yourself of the burden of overthinking, my darling girl.”

Agreeing, Wednesday began her usual sequence of deep breathing, her eyes closed, doing nothing but counting, holding in air and letting it go. It was nearly ten minutes before she was almost at the point of visualizing her light and entering the ether. With enough pluck, mentally and physically, she tugged each of the sepals off the thimbleweeds, letting them fall into her lap as she thought to herself: release the hesitation of physical intimacy, release the fear of Enid being alone, release the sensation of inadequacy. 

Repeating it as directed, Wednesday disassembled the final plant before picturing a sunflower, searching out the sun, finding herself tumbling pleasantly into a field full of them. 

She stood up, feeling small as she wove through rows, trying to discern meaning from being there – why the universe brought her to such a place alone –

Except as she turned a corner, Wednesday crossed her arms, recognizing she wasn’t alone. 

“I didn’t anticipate running into you outside of Jericho, particularly, in the light end of the ether,” She spoke with a little bit more cockiness than probably necessary. 

Goody Addams looked her up and down with a bit of the same attitude. “I might not have much concept of time here, but even I feel a pull when it is nearly a solstice in your realm.” She ran her fingers over a fuzzy stem. “You shall soon be welcoming back the darkening days after the longest time of sun.”

Giving a dumb nod, Wednesday stared hard, wanting to be combative. She hadn’t sensed Goody in Jericho after putting up her monument, and certainly hadn’t tried seeking her out. It was their first interaction since she’d released the remnants of Quinton’s evil into the nether. Taking her in, she noticed. “You still have the Beanie Baby,” She said with the faintest twitch of her lips up, as Caw the blackbird stuck out of Goody’s apron pocket.

Her ancestor lifted it out, holding it in both hands, like it was as precious and fragile as a newborn baby. “I confess, this seemingly innocuous tchotchke has become meaningful to me,” She said in a confession that Wednesday didn’t anticipate. “I have not been able to access a place like this in what I assume to be hundreds of years. Yet, since our last interaction, since you gave me this children’s toy of comfort – I have found myself able to once again visualize places that have been long cutoff from my former psyche.”

“I suppose that’s encouraging,” Wednesday chided. “I told you it was not as silly as you wanted to think it was. Being comforted by someone or something we love is a very powerful magic. I am sorry that opportunity was taken away from you.”

Goody lifted her shoulders, stroking the yellow-orange beak of the bird. “If I was allowed to give into light without hiding it in the dark, you would not be here, Wednesday Addams.”

“I guess that’s something I share with my mentor, then,” Wednesday muttered, thinking about Imogen and Josie for a moment. She shook her head. “I recognize the privileges I have. But that doesn’t mean my life is easy simply because I’m not at risk of being burned at a literal stake every time I leave the house. Believe me, there are plenty of modern problems we face that I have yet to find solutions for.”

Goody tucked Caw to her chest with one hand, the other resuming the journey of feeling the different sunflower stems. “Yet – that was not what troubled you to bring you here.” Wednesday glared, wondering how she knew that. “Your face may be blank, but I can read you easily. You are troubled by personal demons, not societal ones.”

[mangocheesecakes]

I have found a connection between Laura Deramas and the scammer amongsts/amongstss who was recently discovered and since been taken down. I have very good reason to believe that amongstss was either Laura herself, or someone working closely with Laura.

(Please bear with me as this is going to be a very long post. I don't know how to make it shorter.)

So first off, in the "speaking up" video Laura posted recently, while she admits that she "made a mistake", Laura claims that she made the video to "speak up about what I and user neeches "have been doing to her while she's not on Tumblr". Specifically, she is angry about how we've connected her with another now-deactivated scammer, sheeyancjoje. Laura is adamant and insists that she has not come back to Tumblr since I called her out, and so she wants us to stop "blaming her for all the scams that's happening here". Now Laura's acting may be FAMAS-worthy, but I maintain that the evidence I found about her and sheeyanc is solid and undeniable, and later I will also explain why this is so in a separate post. But for now, let's talk about amongsts.

Amongsts/amongstss was a scammer who recently got taken down by tumblr, and who was pretending to be a "Black Transwoman living in Andorra" trying to raise money for "rent support". The post they made was copied word-for-word from an actual fundraiser on Facebook with the only change being the person's first name. Here is the original post and my reblog with the callout and link to the legitimate fundraiser. After posting this, amongsts began sending me irate messages and insults through dm.

Now amongsts wanted their donors to only use "wire transfer or paypal" when donating. They also did not put the actual link anywhere on the post itself. When asked about this by other users, amongsts claimed that she prefers sending her paypal info through dm because of the spam emails she had been receiving lately:

Now someone had unfortunately already donated to amongsts before I was able to call them out, but I proceeded to send warning asks to those who reblogged the scam posts all the same. One of the users I messaged responded to me, and it turned out they were one of the people who had donated to amongsts. Because I thought it might be relevant for keeping track of the scammers on here I asked them if they could share to me the Paypal address that amongsts gave to them in private when they donated. This user very kindly got back to me and gave me the screenshot they took of the scammer's paypal name and gmail.

The name on the paypal was one "Joan Malubay", while the gmail address was written as mozoelle95@gmail.com

Here is a screenshot of my conversation with this user, with their blog and name redacted for privacy:

Going back to Laura and her "speaking-up" video. Laura keeps mentioning a certain JES SA, who she says is her friend and neighbor, and who according to her "made a tumblr" the night before and saw "all of the posts that I and neeches have been making about her". This JES SA then presumably alerted her about this, which is how she found out and why she was back again. Laura was also pretty insistent that I talk to this JES SA on Facebook, kind of similar to how she kept asking me to contact her mother back when she was still pretending to be dead:

Checking up on Laura's Facebook profile after all of this went down, I saw that she had made a couple of status updates about being "stressed" and "going through a lot lately". Sure enough, among those who sad-reacted to her posts was a user named Jes Sa. This Jes Sa also commented a happy birthday greeting on Laura's post during her son's birthday 4 weeks ago:

I also clearly remember seeing this user on Laura's old profile before, though I had no screenshots of her at that time and didn't really take note of her. Curiously, Jes Sa already had her profile locked when last I checked it, so I couldn't take a screenshot and had to take a photo using another phone.

So instead, I tried another route and typed "jes sa" on the search tab to see what comes up...and what do you know, the name "Malubay Jo an" was one of the first results.

This Malubay Jo an names Jes Sa as her sister in this pic (Bry Lle seems to be Jes Sa's former name on FB) as well as a "Dawn Syrelle Mozo" as her pamangkin/niece. Upon further digging, I've found that Jes Sa is Joan Malubay's sister, is married to a certain "Manuel (Nano) Mozo" and has at least two daughters, "Dawn Syrelle Mozo" and "Anne Janelle Mozo". On my screenshot of Jes Sa's birthday greeting above, Dawn Syrelle also greets Laura's son a happy birthday.

And so here is now the connection between Laura Deramas and the scammer amongstss:

amongstss was using the Paypal account of Joan Malubay with the gmail mozoelle95@gmail.com.

Malubay Jo an on Facebook who lives in Davao City has two nieces with names that fit the gmail handle being used by amongstss. Malubay Jo an is also the sister of Jes Sa, the person Laura said is her "friend and neighbor", and who apparently is also here on tumblr.

Given this discovery, I can say that amongsts was probably being run by either Laura herself, or by her friend/s Joan and Jes Sa, or even more likely, they were all in it together.

And Laura's claims that she is not connected to any other scammers on here is another one of her many many lies.

[youwouldmissmeinyourbones]

I'm fairly new to Klaroline. There are so many incredible looking fics, it's hard to know where to start. What would you rec as the absolute must-read fics in the fandom? Any length, any rating. Thanks!

Welcome to our crazy little corner of the internet! We are definitely blessed with a lot of amazing fics, so I'll summarise my absolute favourites for you!

These are all on ao3, so please make sure you check the tags/ warnings before reading because I'm not sure what you're comfortable with. You'll also need an account on ao3 to read some of these if you don't already have one.

You may have already seen me raving about make them bow, which is absolutely amazing.

Other than that, we have:

Everything, Everything by Anyaparadox

Caroline and Klaus wake up human in another reality due to a spell. Oh, and they're married, which is absolutely the worst, until it isn't.

This fic was beautifully domestic, and the bitter-sweet ending has me in tears every time I read it. This is 100% one of my favourite fics EVER and I would go as far as to say it's the fic on this list I most highly recommend.

Words: 68, 491

Colored You In by @lalainajanes

AH-AU. Kol's broke (he scammed his trust executor, but don't ask, okay?). Elijah's playing the tough love card, Rebekah has no room (and Kol doesn't want to overhear his little sister having sex, thank you). And Klaus? Klaus will murder Kol inside a week if they're forced to live together. Caroline had a spare bedroom (now that Stefan's moved in with Rebekah) and Rebekah knows Caroline's weaknesses. A pair of Louboutin's and two days later Kol's moving in. It might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or possible the making of two mortal enemies. Time will tell. But suddenly Klaus is always around. Planted on her couch, offering snarky commentary, eating their food. Seriously, who invited him?

I'm not the hugest fan of AH AU's but this would have to be one of my favourites. It's hilarious and showcases relationships between all of the characters. (Especially Kol and Caroline, which you've gotta love)

Words: 85, 440

Someone That'll Look Like You by @cupcakemolotov

When Caroline Forbes finds herself barreling down the highway with no real memory other than her name, her only clue is the dead body in her backseat. To complicate matters, she's pretty sure that body isn't human. And neither is she.

This fic is super sweet with a healthy dose of Carenzo friendship for good measure.

Words: 23, 214

Sweet Present of the Present by VintageLilac

Time was a human constraint, and Caroline was immortal. Klaus had told her to explore humanity, to do all the thing she wanted in life, and he also told her it wouldn't be enough. She hated that he was right. And so when Rebekah Mikaelson showed up on her doorstep, asking her to take Klaus' daughter, Caroline said yes. -- In which Caroline raises Hope while New Orleans is at war.

Although this fic is absolutely fantastic, you should probably note that it's still ongoing (we're at 21/25 chapters right now) so if you only like to read completed fics you'll want to hold off a bit longer on that one. The author is still updating though so I don't think you need to worry about it being abandoned.

Words: 133, 068 (as of right now)

This is a Harvest by but_seriously

“Ask me to choose you, Caroline,” Klaus continues heatedly, “go ahead, and I will, with everything that I have. But in return, you’re going to have to do the one thing you’ve been fighting since the night I sat on your bedside and fed you my blood. You’re going to have to choose me back. It’s only fair,” and he spits these last words out.

I haven't read this one in a while but I remember really enjoying it so I've added it in. Really, I would suggest taking a look at everything by this author.

Words: 20, 104

I hope this list helps you find something you enjoy. There are so many talented writers out there and a bunch of them just happen to churn out the most amazing stuff for us to read!

[duchessonfire]

Whatever AU you create I live for it, honestly I'm your biggest fan at this point. Feel free to expand! The abo, supernatural twist, the motherfucking reverse sugar that i did not expect 😂 what kinda dynamic do you envision? Are they overall similar to savior except for some key point or is the energy between cegan completely altered? What are the vibes 🤩

Also! What are you thought on Negan's evolution and can you add your twist as to where do you think Carl can fit in it

(ive never watched dead city and stopped twd years ago coincidentaly right after carl died i keep up a bit with spoilers so i got the gist of it. But from what i can see he's become a fundamentaly different person. Swagger still there but dialed down enough to make me sad 😔 wbu do you keep up? id be impressed if you did cause that's some damn comitmment.

Listen i've been trying to recreate your magic by combining ao3 tags lately but nothing seems to fit! Its the age difference, its the slow burn with what started as someone playing meanly and exerting their power on someone else only to be hit with the feelings 🫢, it's the top tier d/s subtext, its the jealousy and the two step forward one step back, its the smut tbh mostly the smut, simply put it's giving.

And absolutely no rush and dont feel obliged to answer but what kinda irl timeline are you predicting for part 3 and 4 and the neganpov? You've been churning out updates lately (22k high quality chapter within a month; we are spoiled god bless🫂).

I'm frothing at the mouth waiting for your next update. You sincerely bring me joy.

Hi again Cegan lovely! ✨

Thank you so much for this sweet message.

The dynamics of the other Cegan project I have planned will be very much similar to the Savior!Carl universe with Carl and Negan going from enemies to lovers. The only one that is truly different is the reverse sugar daddy AU where I'm going for a Carl that is super shy and vulnerable, really a gifted kid who has trouble connecting with people and who clings to his crush for his former PE teacher for dear life. I'm really excited about those projects even though I have no idea when I'll have time to write them 😅

I am still heavily involved in TWD universe and I have watched the main show until the end, as well as the Daryl Dixon, The Ones Who Live and the Dead City spinoffs. I was very unhappy with Negan's characterization in the last season of TWD but Dead City really brought a breath of fresh air and I'm excited to see what lies in store for Negan in season 2.

So funny thing, part 4 of the Savior!Carl universe will cover Rick's arrival and the war between the Saviors and the other communities, but because I want to stick closely to canon, part 5 will deal with the time Negan spends in the cell and the Whisperer War. So I have in fact plans for Carl and Negan's relationship even after Negan loses his empire. (I'm actually very excited about their new dynamics after that happens ❤️‍🔥 While Negan will go softer, Carl will become a lot harder and more ruthless so that will be pretty amazing to explore...).

I'm so happy that you enjoy the Savior!Carl AU 😍 If you're looking for more Cegan content, I recommend looking at my bookmarks. If you enter Carl Grimes or Negan Smith in the "other work tags to include" section, you will be able to see all my Cegan bookmarks. I especially recommend the fics by Gemjam: Wildflowers and Genesis, which are really the main inspiration behind the Savior!Carl universe, but in my bookmarks you will find loads more of amazing works by amazing writers! Happy reading 📖

So for the time-line, part 3 will finish this summer for sure, hopefully by beginning of July. I will post chapter 10 this week (hopefully today or tomorrow), and then it's only two more chapters to go. The time-line for 4 is a lot blurrier because I still have a lot of brainstorming to do. Same for part 5 and for the Negan's pov. Ideally, I would like the Negan's pov to post at the same time as part 5 because Carl will spend a lot of time away from Negan while he's in the cell, so posting Negan's pov at the same time would still giving readers a healthy amount of Cegan next to the plot of part 5.

Thank you again for such a lovely ask and I hope you have an amazing day 💐😘

[barry-j-blupjeans]

"And of course, you'll have training together tomorrow-"

"Can't," Magnus interrupted.

Lucretia blinked. She had come down to the boys' dorm to give them an update on their new training regime After the mess with Taako's relic- the Philosopher's Stone, it was of uttermost importance that they kept in good physical shape. She was already dreading the day she'd have to send them into Wonderland, so extra training couldn't hurt. She wanted to do that last, of course, but they were still searching for the Temporal Chalice and it was better to be safe than sorry.

But the only person in the dorm when she arrived was Magnus. Merle was, apparently, with his kids (Magnus whispered this to her like it was a secret and that Merle himself hadn't shown her the pictures he kept in his wallet). When she asked about Taako, Magnus grimaced and wouldn't elaborate. Lucretia had the feeling it had something to do with the giant burn mark on their floor that had been covered with a towel much too small.

"You... can't," Lucretia repeated.

"Yeah," Magnus said. "I mean, I can! And Merle probably can! But Taako, uhhh, Taako doesn't really wanna... be... around me right now."

Okay. Okay, Lucretia could deal with this. Taako got upset over lots of stupid things. One time, he held a grudge against Magnus for three cycles for taking their last bit of ketchup. Actually, Lucretia was pretty sure that if she hadn't erased that incident from their minds, Taako would still be mad about it. First things first, she needed to get to the root of the problem.

"What exactly happened between you and Taako?" she asked.

Magnus grimaced again, twisting his face up so much that Lucretia almost laughed. But that wouldn't be professional. She was professional.

"Nothing much," Magnus blatantly lied. "It's just, uh, y'know. When you're living in such close quarters with someone for a while, you're gonna fight occasionally."

Oh, did Lucretia know.

"But what was the fight about?" she said.

"Oh y'know..." Magnus repeated. Was he sweating? He looked like he was sweating. "Sometimes you just, uhm. Do things accidentally. And then fuck up your friendship with someone."

"Did you..." Lucretia's nose scrunched up as she thought. Okay, now she was grimacing. "I'm asking this in a professional sense, but did you kiss Taako?"

"What?" Magnus said. "No! What the fuck!"

"See, I thought you hadn't but the way you phrased it-"

"No!" Magnus said. "No, I'm mar- I'm not interested in Taako. Also, T-B-H, Director, Taako is not my type. He's too... spindly. And also intimidating. In the bad way."

"Sure," Lucretia said, like that made any sense to her whatsoever. "So you didn't kiss Taako, but you did something to fuck up your friendship." She tried to think. What could Magnus have possibly done to ruin things bad enough that he thought Taako wouldn't be going to training. "Did you... damn, Magnus, I'm out of ideas."

"I don't think it was that bad," Magnus said. "I just- I like to keep people on their feet! Keep them ready for danger!"

"Of course," Lucretia said, remembering when all four incidents of when she threw her journal at him when he snuck up at her, and the one time she hit him on the head with a inflatable baseball bat.

"So I was gonna do that to Taako while he was laying on the couch," Magnus said. "I think he was sleeping but I'm not sure 'cus I didn't look that hard. But I like, launched myself over the couch and onto the cushion next to him. And, uhm. Something cracked? Snapped? Snapped is a better word."

He glanced over at the burnt part of the floor. The pieces clicked together in Lucretia's mind.

"Oh, shit," she said. "You broke the umbrastaff."

"Not on purpose," Magnus said, voice low and urgent like someone would be listening in on them. Maybe he had been hanging out with Angus too much. "It just- it happened! On accident! And of course, Taako woke up immediately and he was like "what the fuck" but then the staff kind of, uhm. Got really hot? Like burning hot. And obviously, I got off it and there was a... thing that happened. And now we're here."

"A thing," Lucretia repeated, trying to get her voice to stay steady. She tightened her grip on her staff, hoping it would make her less shaky.

"Yeah, uhm, a thing."

"I think it'd be pretty important to mention what the thing was, Magnus."

"Wellllllll, I didn't get a good look at it," Magnus said, now looking anywhere but at her. He was playing with the end of his shirt. Lucretia didn't even have to know him for a hundred years to know that he wasn't telling the complete truth.

"Magnus, if it puts our security at risk-"

"Ehhhh," Magnus said. "It's probably not that big of a deal."

"Magnus."

"If I had to choose someone I have met to say it looks like," Magnus said. "Like, hypothetically, if I had to pick someone. Then I would probably, maybe- just like, a little bit, just a little bit, I would pick the, uh.... the Red Robe?"

"Lup," Lucretia breathed. Had she been in the umbrastaff this whole time? Fuck, why had Lucretia not put that together earlier? She knew the staff ate defeated magic users, Lup must have been bested before she died. Probably while hiding the Gauntlet. She hadn't come back because she hadn't physically been able to. Of course. Of course! Lucretia felt so stupid.

"Who?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing," Lucretia said, straightening up. "Where is she now? The- the Red Robe you saw, I mean."

"She got yeeted out of here pretty fast," Magnus said. "Like, there was a second where she was just kinda standing in the middle of the room, and then she was like "Taako!" and then she kinda fell through the floor and got shot away from the base. Taako looked through the floor window. And then he kinda like, stared at me. And he did that thing where he doesn't say anything but you know he's upset at you-"

"Right, right," Lucretia said, distracted. She had lich wards, duh. But that means Barry might find Lup before Lucretia was able and- gods, Lucretia was only just managing the guilt of Barry knowing what she was doing, but Lup?? Fuck. "Magnus I have to- I gotta go. This is- this is serious. If you see the Red Robe- either of them, if you see either Red Robe, tell me immediately. Do you understand?"

"Oh, for sure," Magnus said, still not looking at her. Lucretia, frankly, didn't care. She turned from the room, speed walking back towards the elevator. And then she remembered why she had come down here in the first place.

"I want the three of you in the gym at nine tomorrow morning!" she called over her shoulder. "No exceptions!"

"Taako's probably not gonna come!" Magnus said.

"No exceptions!" Lucretia repeated.

"He doesn't have a weapon anymore!"

"No exceptions!" Lucretia said once more, jamming the button to open the elevator. She heard Magnus grumble something from behind her, but she kept pressing the button. The sooner she got back to her office, the sooner she could do a scrying spell, and the sooner she could finally find Lup.

[skinny2tb]

€d update & motivation talk

Soo, I'm back, it's currently 3:55pm. and GUESS WHAT today was my math final exam.

Well, I'm pissed (in a good way tbh) because all the pressure I did to myself in the last couple of weeks was so unnecessary. It was wayyy easier than expected and honestly I'm pretty confident that I might even get a 2 or 3?? Whatever, today I almost fainted in the girls bathroom due to my liquid fast and low cal intake but luckily nobody was around so I just took a deep breath and went back to my friends. Not gonna lie I got quite nervous when they kept asking me if I'm alright because I 'looked pale' but I told them I simply didn't sleep well today and thank goodness they were fine with my answer.

Honestly I really don't want them to find out that my €d is back but right now it's just extremly difficult since it has gotten even worse this time.

But the one question I keep asking myself is what I'll do for the rest of the week since we finished all the finals and can now stay at home heh^^

My main fear was the temptation to b¡nge while my parents are still at work. That's why I called my mom and asked her where the keys for our basement are, so that I could go into our sauna and she fr bought it! So, now I got the keys and all the snacks locked away. Out of sight out of mind, rightt?

At least one would think so.. because despite of all the effort I put in hiding the snacks my cravings are literally haunting me. But somehow I also get nauseous even thinking about all the calories, unhealty fats and sugar at the same time. I guess I trained my brain pretty well lol

I'm doing this for the summer slimming, the compliments and validation you'll get when people notice your slim legs, people getting out of their ways just to help you, the hotpants... and the list goes on. (Side fact about me: the only thing I truly like about me is my extremly skinny waist, everytime someone hugs me the first thing they say is how small it is and that's the best compliment in my opinion lol)

C'mon now STAND UP, MOVE YOUR BODY and actually DO the workouts you want to instead of procrastinating it for another day, you lazy potato! It's up to you how this years summer will be like.. think of all the new friends you could make and the fun you'd have when you can finally be your true self without being reduced to your weight.

I'm doing the 'Le Sserafim'-workout since this one works best for me but if you wanna try it too make sure to drink enough water and take breaks in between the exercises. Passing out is not worth it. Especially when you're new to such workouts take your time and do it day by day my love.

Hope you guys have a great day, idk yet but maybe I'll post again today depending on my mood.

Mwah ly guys, stay strong<33

(By the way, if you happen to suffer from an €ating disorder or know somebody who might have one don't hesitate to seek professional help, everybody deserves recovery <3)

[butchsophiewalten]

haii i like JUST watched the walten files… idk if this blog is still alive, but im tryin to learn the lore and if u could give me a run-down of like the timeline/lore i would rlly appreciate it ^_^ TY!!!

Well i'm definitely still active, but this is kind of a tall ask! Also pretty complicated since there's a lot of fringe stuff that I care a lot about but probably isn't actually that important for a new fan to familiarize themself with right away, and sometimes it's hard for someone like me to differentiate that from the essential stuff. That said, I've written a lot here so it's going under a cut.

Just to cover all my bases: If you've just watched the series for the first time, be sure that you're also checking out the two hidden videos. They're both present in the Official Playlist in the order you're meant to view them, but there's really nothing wrong with watching both of them last, you shouldn't be that confused. These are technically and literally bonus content, but they ARE lore-important.

Also, a mutual of mine, @gir-posting put together a neocities site a while ago specifically with the intention of helping people who are new to The Walten Files get their bearings with it, and you can find that here:

Just as a note and to add my own pedantic criticism, this page eventually guides you towards the series' companion website, Findjackwalten.com, and provides archived links of all* the iterated versions of that site's pages. It's a LOT, don't worry about catching up on everything, it is literally all just bonus content to make the wait between episodes more fun. The Twfinfo page here also calls it an ARG, which i would not consider it by any stretch of the word's definition. It's just a website.

*some pages were never archived and Twfinfo is also missing the most recent findjackwalten update from August 15th.

I recognize that literally none of this is what you asked me for! This is because I honestly have a really difficult time trying to summarize the events of The Walten Files. But this is the part where I try:

In the late 50s, two college friends named Jack Walten and Felix Kranken came up with an idea for animatronic performers that, through the years, would eventually morph into the concept for Bon's Burgers. Sometime between 1968 and 1972, Jack and Felix's company, Bunny Smiles Incorporated, would partner with a company called CyberFun Tech to assist them in their Bon's Burgers project, providing them with resources and engineering expertise to create those animatronic performers they had envisioned. After lots of work, Bon's Burgers was set to open on June 1st, 1974.

This is the part you probably know. On May 2nd, 1974, Jack asked Felix for a favor he was needing. He was doing overtime at the workshop trying to get things ready for the opening, but his two youngest kids, Edd and Molly, needed someone to drive them to a school party they wanted to attend. His wife, Rosemary, couldn't take them, because she was taking his eldest daughter Sophie to the dentist. Felix agreed to the favor. You know what happened then.

This is where it gets fuzzy. After Edd & Molly's disappearances, the Bon's Burgers opening was postponed to June 28th. It seems like Jack and Felix more or less continued to collaborate on the project until Jack's disappearance on June 11th. We have no idea what happened to him after that.

The restaurant opened. At some point presumably between Jack's disappearance and the 30th of June, the animatronic Bon went strange. The lead engineer, Susan Woodings, decided to examine him after noticing some "irregularities" during his performance during the day, and he violently attacked her, then stuffed her damaged-but-still-living body into the animatronic Banny, where she eventually starved to death.

Bon's massacre would continue with the elusive employee, Charles B., who we continue to know next to nothing about except that he ended up in Boozoo, and would finish with Rosemary Walten, who had been returning to the restaurant regularly with hopes of finding her missing husband. The screams heard during Rosemary's attack and dismemberment were reported by the neighborhood and led to the restaurant's immediate closure. All of the restaurants assets, including its animatronic performers, were relocated to a storage unit in the middle of a nearby forest.

Over the years Felix pulled a lot of cheap merchandising schemes to try and keep the Bon's Burgers and Bunny Smiles brand relevant in the consciousness of Brighton. Lots of toys and direct-to-video cartoons and even a reasonably popular television series. In the late 70s he put forward a plan to fix up all the animatronics and reopen the Bon's Burgers restaurant in a new location. The first version of the plan went really terribly, since they just went and hired some teenaged engineers and put them on crunch time to try and fix everything wrong with four half-decade old complicated machines. One of those engineers, Ashley Parks, ended up poking around in some back hallways she wasn't supposed to see and was killed by Bon for snooping. She ended up in the animatronic Billy, who was present at the old Bon's Burgers location but has been kept suspiciously separate from the other animatronics for years.

Flash forward to 1982. Sophie Walten, the only living member of the Walten family, has been living with medication-induced amnesia for years. This is until her girlfriend Jenny introduces her to the BunnyFarm arcade machine, which has just been installed in the basement of the hotel where Jenny and she live. Through the machine, the spirits of her dead friends and family begin communicating with her, and she learns a lot of the information I just relayed to you. And that's where we are, really.

[bloodboonfic]

Analyst(hopeful) asked:

Hey a while back somewhere around chapter 20 you said you were a bit over halfway done. Where are you now by comparison? I also believe you said that you have more plot points to hit rather than a chapter count, so unfortunately you likely don’t have a chapter count for how much is left. Oh well for anticipation purposes. Don’t worry I’m pretty sure I am guilty of the same thing regarding chapter count.

Also I have a writing question. I ask this to most other writers because it makes me want to pull my hair out and I am always trying to improve especially if I want to actually publish something one day fan-fiction or otherwise. How do you prefer to plot? 

I do have a question about your ideas about piglin fire tolerance in regards to Bloodboon. I’ve seen most writers chose the route of they still burn and some elaborate a bit more and chose the they still burn it just takes a bit longer than a human and their skin is a bit thicker. I prefer the second option because it makes sense.

I am currently less overwhelmed by questions right now. I am more overwhelmed by the amount of whump you are throwing Technoblade’s way. It hurts. Like all of his subconscious knowledge and conscious knowledge that he can’t make Philza happy and can’t keep the only friend he’s ever had because it is totally not a fair relationship coming to the front of his mind all the time and making him absolutely miserable. That water comparison of yours in the last chapter to tie strings so we could see his line and course of thinking was amazing. I hope it ends happily. 

Also update on my au that I keep running into plot issues which I fixed but… Apparently after some research …I think like someone with more minecraft background than I actually have and I’m actually a little disappointed. Nothing new under the sun I guess or I’ve already read too much minecraft fan fiction, specifically emduo.

~~~

The fic is at the end of the middle, I’d say. Techno and Philza still have one more Event until their friendship meter is maxed out. I suspect the whole fic will come to be just shy of 40 chapters.

Uhhh I don’t like, actively plot? It just sorta happens? When I have an idea, it usually kicks off as a premise, then Events come up, and then I think of connective tissue between the Events. And once it all has stewed in my brain for long enough, I put it down as a bullet point list, then move the bullets around so that Events with causality relations are in chronological order (eg. the scene at the flight range can’t happen before Philza’s feathers grow back), and then move the floater Events (eg. Philza interacting with a pigling child can happen whenever) so that the pacing becomes nice. I try to alter between chill and intense bits, to give the story the chance to breathe. Too much chill is dull and too much intense is exhausting, you gotta go back and forth. And also sometimes things Just Happen, Philza’s breakdown in Ch 11 was completely unplanned, it just Became. And then sometimes you need 500 more words to get acceptable posting length so whelp time for Techno to wax philosophical about bread or whatever.

Also I Can Not write non-chronologically. Scenes are written in the order in which they happen, unless there comes a realisation after the fact that Something needed to happen earlier. I’m pretty sure most people hop around instead of going strictly in order? But that does not agree with the shape of my brain.

I think piglins having higher fire tolerance than humans makes sense. If you live in a hellpit, you adapt or you die.

Yeah Techno’s not having a good time lately huh? Guess stealing a person does not have great long-term results! /j

Not sure what to say to your last point, but in any case, would be stoked to give your AU a read come time of posting!

-Anchestor

[windor-truffle]

hey look it's a graces update! :O

probably a long one too, if you can't tell by the recent long meta posts, I made a fair amount of progress in the game (or at least a lot happened in the two sessions i played 😅) wrapping up the Windor arc and kicking off fucked-up Richard time :) here's my usual breakdowns:

Asbel trying to come up with new fic ideas... except I, like Richard, can't actually imagine him ever doing this. Richard credits it to their friendship pact, but I'd credit it to the fact that Asbel actually has an iron-clad moral compass, even though he is completely oblivious to that fact. This isn't even the first time he's thought about this, he actually briefly speculated about it back when he and Richard were fleeing for Grayleside:

Asbel may be a knight wannabe but he's not Flynn, he wouldn't follow orders without question or harm a friend just because he was ordered to--- as evidenced by him standing up to Richard about the treatment of the war prisoners or postponing the invasion of Lhant in hopes of negotiation first. Even if someone he admired and respected like Malik were the one giving orders, I seriously doubt he'd arrest Richard, much less kill him or his father. But Asbel somehow doesn't realize this about himself, god bless his dumbass heart 😂

Moving on, I'm not gonna fill this space with all the screenshots since my Richard&Lambda post covered it pretty well but the fight against Cedric is fun, I like this shot in particular:

Cedric is kind of an odd antagonist though, in that we don't know very much about his motives or personality. Most of what we know about him comes from Richard who's obviously very biased against him, and a handful of NPCs. The guy himself has like 3 lines of dialogue 😅 In general he seems like your typical evil-uncle-usurper archetype a la Hamlet, he claims to be the rightful ruler of the land but I assume that's his power-hunger talking and not like he was legitimately cheated from inheriting the throne (except by the bullshit system that is the monarchy itself, wild that this 19 year old is considered the "correct" one to be in charge of a country instead of the man with decades of experience handling foreign affairs). I guess this boils down to me sympathizing with him just a little, since we don't know his whole story. also the murder was a little brutal ngl but tbf to Richard, Cedric started this 😅

Hooray, the NPCs are all traumatized! Including that little boy who is apparently wizened enough to have noted the vicious cycle of of the monarchy 😅

I did my best to transcribe the text behind the throne, I think it's "a land of wind spoke guidance of wind make the wind proudest king." Not quite sure what that means but neat!

I support this man and his gay ass lounging villain poses and his art deco throne 💜 the last name drop though OOF 😓 especially since Asbel follows it with this, no missing dialogue in between:

RIP to "Please, don't speak like that. We're old friends, you and I" ;_;

once again someone besides me is projecting their own thoughts onto Asbel (the first being when Hubert kicked him out of Lhant, telling him to "run away like [he] always [did]"). And Asbel responding with his paragon-ish virtue again, the trait that makes him a foil to Richard and Lambda alike and ultimately saves the day: he believes in people, and that things can get better. I love that about heroes like Asbel, hope really is a precious thing that's always worth protecting. Richard agrees with me, at least:

...He really is a manipulative bitch isn't he 😅 I guess he IS a master of coercion artes.

Honestly I could be here all day talking about this singular part of the plot but I'll wrap it up by noting that Duke Dalen is also a wee bit pompous, he's more of Richard's yes-man than Asbel and probably believes in the divine right of kings or smth 'cause he seems to think Richard can do no wrong.

As you can see by this collection, I had a bit of an NPC census 😅 I interviewed NPCs from all across Windor: Barona, Wallbridge, Grayleside, and various ports (Lhant's citizens were talking more about their troubles there w Strahta than on the state of the monarchy). A lot of the NPCs I questioned were split on recent events, some excited about seeing the young king ascend, others still reeling from the chaos, and a handful who seem a bit uneasy about his intentions. Pretty realistic I think and helpful for worldbuilding in my fic akssjhd

this one about Hubert is rather telling too ;_;

really? I did... 😅

Richard... ;_; why you gotta do asbel dirty like that 😭

getting pretty close to the end of my FIRST session but I'll finish things up by noting Hubert's baller line here, get rekt asbel 😂