#probably the gender dysphoria wouldn't let me

[yamoksaucebodyshots]

T update:

I had alexithymia before. It seems... Not worse but it's harder to quantify and name emotions than before... I'm also feeling more emotional sensations am not as numb but I don't know what names to give them.

Other things: I'm generally stronger and more sturdy and my face is changing. My cheekbones and shoulders are lit tbh

[novablisters]

one thing about me is any insecurity I have will be immediately dissolved the second I see a cool woman mirror it and also! personally I think it should be studied the way get way more easily emotionally attached to women. it may be a problem I fear.

[aruanimess]

For the ask, what about reverse warrior/paradisian Aruani, where Armin is from Marley and Annie is from Paradis? How do you think this would change the story?👀

Fanfic Author Never Have I Ever

Hey, Stella!

Well, I have shared some ideas about a similar premise here, but I've definitely never written it.

If I were to write something like this, I'd probably have Armin being a lot more lenient with the Paradisians. The plot would revolve around Armin finally deciding to give up on Marley and join the Paradisians. I know a lot of people want to see him commit war crimes (and don't get me wrong, he would), but I think a character with Armin's moral compass would snap when faced with the blatant injustice of Eldian discrimination.

As for Annie, I'd keep her backstory similar: her father wants her to join the Military Police to benefit himself. Still, I think she'd be more open to developing friendships in this scenario as she is not actively betraying anybody. She and Armin would become friends and slowly through time she'd figure out something was off about him and his mysterious friends (as I believe Armin would spend more time with RB than Annie does in canon) and she'd go into sleuth mode.

After Trost, and the revelation of Eren, she'd put two and two together and confront him. Armin would fight her off and try to silence her, revealing that he's a lot more martially inclined than he let on (as he's been trained for years in this AU and also has the benefit of healing quickly). Ultimately though, he wouldn't be able to go through with Marco-ing her as he has a) developed feelings for her and b) has become unconvinced of the supposed evilness of the Paradisians. Then, they'd devise a plan together to uncover the monarchy's secrets and make the public aware of the truth.

P.S. Sooo, there's also the problem of which Titan Armin would get, as Bertolt has the Colossus and is Armin's ally in this. My friend @midnightlighthowlite has a little project where the third member of the titan trio is Pieck instead, and, as much as I loooooove this possibility, to propose something different I say: I'd give Armin the Female. Knowing me, I'd probably turn it into a whole theme about gender identity, toxic masculinity and trans issues too, by having Armin endure bullying back home bc he was chosen for the "girl" titan. I'd have him experience gender dysphoria (either when transformed or when in his regular body depending on where I took the story) and struggle with his presentation in general. Obviously, this would be resolved by Armin embracing his feminine side, either by deciding he's some flavour of trans or by accepting that body parts are gender neutral.

[cringelordofchaos]

Stan questioning their gender in The Cissy

For the purpose of this post I will refer to Stan with they/them pronouns, although I usually use he/him for them.

This is the end... Of being cis...

Ahem.

Let us start, from The beginning:...

Cartman told Stan Wendy/l is "telling everyone (s)he likes girls" and identifies as a boy, "which would mean Stan's a girl", which starts confusing them... ("cartman's a girl? Wendy's a boy? Could I... also be something nobody noticed before?" - Is what I assume was going on inside their head.)

Their confusion/curiosity prompts them to seek some form of explanation... Support, reassurance.

They go to their dad.

"Dad, Is it possible for someone to be one way on the outside, but totally different on the inside?"

"I mean - can someone identify as one sex, but be something else, but still have it be nothing about sex?"

I do find it somewhat interesting that Randy is the first person Stan goes to when confused about this. It wouldn't be the first time - similiar scenario occurred in "Tweek x Craig", where they were confused about Tweek and Craig being depicted as gay by the new girls in school, despite neither of them showing any signs of being gay before. They turn to Randy, despite their rocky relationship- but I digress. Randy simply tells them yes, that can be the case. And explains to the, how he(?)'s actually Lorde, to which Stan faints - i have no comment of relevance

Leaving them possibly more confused then before...

Further confusion ensues.

They don't know where they belong ...

Did they ever?

And they finally decide...

But, shortly after, they get in Trouble (or at least undergo interrogation)

When asked why they felt the need to go to the transgender bathroom/didn't feel comfortable using the boys bathroom, they respond -

"I just... Two people close to me are having gender identity issues and I'm confused."

So, their confused feelings of gender identity could possibly be due to their empathy, rather than them actually being trans. Throughout the series it is frequently shown that Stan is a pretty empathetic kid, and easily emotionally influenced - this could easily be another demonstration of their high emotional empathy.

But ya never know.

But the interesting thing is that in this episode, it's acknowledged that being transgender and gender dysphoria is a real thing people struggle with, but that's not Cartman, as cartman's only using being transgender as an excuse to get access to a cleaner bathroom. Stan here could possibly be the demonstration of a kid actually struggling with gender identity, as a parallel to Cartman in a way (?), as while Cartman's new gender identity is accepted despite probably not being trans, Stan is perceived to be cis and transphobic by everyone despite them genuinely being confused about their gender, unlike Cartman.

At the end, when it is officially announced anyone can go to any bathroom they feel comfortable in, including trans and cis kids, and if they're not comfortable sharing a bathroom with anyone possibly trans they'll have to go to a separate "cissies" bathroom, Stan feels comfortable enough going to the boys bathroom, only with this knowledge intact. (I mean, if they were non binary and possibly had to choose between "girls" "boys" and "cissies", they possibly felt most comfortable with "boys")(and also, perhaps knowing they're not the only non-cis/not fully cis person in the bathroom at all times comforted them..?). However, they're bullied into the cissies bathroom, because everyone assumes Stan's transphobic because they're all fucking dumbasses.

Now, them questioning/being confused about their gender is never referenced again in the series, at least I doubt it is. But, from what we've been shown, I just find it all very interesting. Idk.

Long post short, non binary/demi-boy Stan real 💯💯💯

[luvkyu]

dysphoric ( choi yeonjun )

yeonjun x ftm!reader

yeonjun comforts his dysphoric boyfriend.

content : 2.2k words, mentions gender dysphoria, slight angst but mostly pure fluff

yeonjun's eyebrows furrowed upon hearing the front door of his shared apartment open and close. he stepped away from the kitchen to poke his head out and see his tired looking boyfriend trudging inside.

"babe? you're home early," yeonjun said while skipping over to his partner. the happiness in his voice was not hidden well, making y/n's lips curl into a smile for just a second.

"mhm, i clocked out early," y/n answered simply. he instantly took to yeonjun as the male stood in front of him, hugging him tightly. yeonjun frowned, but hugged back.

"are you okay?"

y/n didn't answer. he just wanted boyfriend hugs until he fell asleep.

yeonjun brought one of his hands higher to stroke the other's hair. he didn't want to push y/n to talk, but he couldn't help if he didn't know what was wrong.

"n/n, please talk to me. i'm worried," yeonjun said quietly. y/n finally looked up at him, his arms still snug around him.

"i feel gross," y/n muttered out.

"ah.." yeonjun unfortunately knew what that meant - dysphoria. y/n never liked saying the word out loud. it felt like poison on his tongue. he'd always substitute it with 'feeling gross' or 'having a bad day', which yeonjun was usually quick to pick up on.

"i'm sorry, baby. what can i do?" yeonjun asked softly, still playing with y/n's hair.

"mm.. can we stay in bed for a while?"

yeonjun smiled. it was a good thing he wasn't working today. he nodded before planting a kiss on the other's head.

"of course. and watch movies?"

y/n quickly nodded. his head was buried in yeonjun's chest, drowning in his embrace and letting his scent calm his nerves.

yeonjun began leading him to their bedroom, walking a bit awkwardly as y/n refused to let go of his hug, but the former didn't mind.

"you should take your binder off, babe."

y/n frowned and stayed quiet in his arms. yeonjun sighed lightly at his silence.

"bub, i know it helps, but you've already been wearing it for hours. and we don't want you to fall asleep in it. and i know it's not comfortable to wear at all anyways. you can have one of my shirts and my biggest hoodie instead, okay?"

y/n took a large breath before nodding, making yeonjun smile.

"good boy," yeonjun praised. his soft and quiet voice sent chills up y/n's arms. the former gave him another small kiss before continuing, "i'll set up the movie and you can go change. choose whatever you want from my side of our closet, okay?"

y/n was reluctant to release his boyfriend from the hug, but finally let him go to sulk over to their closet. yeonjun chuckled to himself at the pout that wouldn't leave the other's lips before watching him disappear into their bathroom.

"cutie," he mumbled as he now began preparing the movie.

y/n woke up to the bedroom being much darker than he remembered. he rubbed his eyes a bit and looked over to the window. the sun was almost done setting after his nap, leaving the only light in the room to come from the remainder of the apartment from the cracked open door.

y/n was a little surprised he slept so long, especially after only watching about fifteen minutes of their movie. but now seeing that yeonjun wasn't beside him anymore, the thought dissipated as he quickly got up to go find the male.

the sleeves of yeonjun's hoodie draped over his hands, a little too long. he didn't mind this though. he loved it, in fact. while slipping the hood over his head, he crossed his arms to feel the hoodie closer on himself, as if hugging it. yeonjun's lingering scent only made it more comforting as well.

"jun?" y/n called quietly. his voice came out smaller than he intended. probably the after-effect of his nap, he assumed.

he now walked out of their room, hearing yeonjun's faint voice coming from the kitchen.

"yeah, sorry i'm gonna take a rain check tonight if that's okay," yeonjun said quietly. his voice sounded a little muffled from where y/n was standing, but he could clearly see yeonjun was on the phone.

"no no, i'm alright. i just want to stay with y/n tonight. he's had a rough day. let's do something tomorrow instead?"

y/n walked into the kitchen as yeonjun finished up his call. the latter turned around to see him already standing a ways away from him.

"oh, hi love. did you sleep okay?" yeonjun asked as he immediately held his arms open. he knew a hug was probably what y/n was looking for after waking up without him, but sometimes a hug without his binder only made the dysphoria worse. that being said, he always left hugs up to the other. this time, however, y/n quickly accepted the invitation into his arms.

"mhm, i guess.. did you have plans tonight?" y/n asked in return. yeonjun smiled and rested his head on top of the former's.

"yeah, i did. but it's okay, i'd rather be with you anyways," he answered. y/n's lips pressed together in thought, forming a line.

"you can go if you want, jun. i'll be okay if-"

"no," yeonjun cut in, "i'm staying with you."

y/n couldn't help but smile to himself. he tightened his arms around his boyfriend, his hood falling after pressing his face into yeonjun's chest again.

"besides, it's just beomgyu and soobin, so they get it. they also said they hope you feel better soon," yeonjun added. y/n's heart warmed at the mention of yeonjun's friends, who were always too sweet to him.

"if you're sure, then alright," y/n responded.

the pair stayed still in their embrace in a comfortable silence. yeonjun began swaying them back and forth after a couple minutes while softly rubbing y/n's back.

"so, my love, what would you like to do now? i'm assuming you aren't sleepy anymore."

y/n hummed and looked around while thinking of a response.

"maybe go for a walk?" he suggested. yeonjun pulled away to look at him, nodding.

"sounds good!"

after getting their shoes and more appropriate clothing for leaving the house, the couple made their way outside to begin walking.

yeonjun took y/n's hand from the confines of his pocket and interlaced their fingers. despite being together for years now, this gesture still made butterflies erupt in y/n's stomach. he looked over at his partner only to see him unfazed with a bright smile on his face.

"what're you so happy about?" y/n asked, though he hoped the answer was just himself.

"mm.. that's for me to know and you to find out," yeonjun answered sassily. y/n rolled his eyes.

"tsk.. you know i'd find out faster if you just told me."

"i do know that," yeonjun answered again. y/n scowled at him jokingly.

"what a pest choi yeonjun is.."

yeonjun's jaw fell dramatically.

"you've lost my hand holding privileges!!" yeonjun declared as he let go and hid his hands in his own pockets now.

"noo! jun, i'm sorry!!" y/n laughed while trying to take the male's hand back. yeonjun refused to budge though. he stuck his nose up and began walking faster ahead of his boyfriend.

y/n trailed after him, trying again to pull yeonjun's hand away from his jacket pocket. he looked up at him in defeat with a small pout.

"yeonjuuun.."

yeonjun finally looked at his boyfriend. he clicked his tongue, knowing he couldn't resist him.

"fine, you can have my hand back.."

y/n's face brightened at this.

"if!-" yeonjun added suddenly, "-you give me a kiss."

y/n smiled, his ears growing a bit red. he nodded and planted a small kiss on yeonjun's lips. the latter finally moved his hand out, which y/n instantly took in turn.

yeonjun stopped in his tracks, though. y/n was jerked back a little before looking at him in confusion.

"what's wrong?"

yeonjun didn't reply, simply taking y/n's other hand as well. the two now stood directly in front of each other on the empty sidewalk of their neighborhood. y/n didn't need to ask again when he realized yeonjun's eyes were locked on his lips. he felt his heartbeat quicken as the male leaned in.

yeonjun kissed him softly, again and again. this went on until y/n felt the marks of kisses all over his face. it was as if his skin was tingling from the trace of yeonjun's lips. those lips that he adored and could look at 24/7.

yeonjun ended his kisses with one last, longer kiss on y/n's own lips. he then pulled back to see his boyfriend had turned to a blushing mess. he cooed silently at the sight.

"are you trying to make me melt.." y/n muttered.

"i'm trying to make you feel loved," yeonjun quickly corrected. y/n's eyes shifted to the ground.

"you're doing a hell of a good job then," he whispered. yeonjun smiled, despite knowing y/n didn't mean for him to hear that.

the pair continued walking and chatting for a while. yeonjun was staring down at their swinging connected hands, in love, when y/n spoke up.

"babe! a playground!"

yeonjun laughed lightly to himself. y/n was a sucker for playgrounds.

"let's try the slide," y/n said excitedly. yeonjun nodded, now being led over to the park equipment. this was the y/n he loved seeing - free from worry and enjoying himself.

after a couple turns on the large slide, yeonjun stopped and sat at the top. his legs swung off the edge as he looked at y/n and patted the spot in front of him. y/n smiled eagerly while taking his place in front of his boyfriend. yeonjun's arms slipped around his lower waist, holding him as close as he could while resting his chin on his shoulder.

y/n expected them to go down the slide together, but yeonjun stayed put. y/n looked over at him to see his eyes closed in content, just holding him. the former smiled, perfectly fine with this instead.

placing his own arms on top of yeonjun's, y/n looked around the dimly lit playground. the wind brushed against his face while the cicadas chirped in the distance. if this moment played on forever, he'd never worry about another thing again.

"what are you thinking about?" yeonjun's voice broke the silence. y/n turned his head to spare him a glance before looking around again.

"..you," y/n replied.

"me?"

y/n nodded.

"i feel incredibly lucky," he said quietly.

"because of me?" yeonjun asked again.

"mhm.. i never told you i knew about this, but.. do you remember when we first met? soobin told me you went home and immediately went to your computer to research about trans things. he told me you said it was 'love at first sight' and you were 'determined to educate yourself more'. apparently you were up for a good amount of the night, too."

yeonjun blushed instantly. he was definitely unaware that y/n knew about that.

"sooo, what you're saying is i need to get my revenge on soobin?"

y/n rolled his eyes.

"no, tsk. i loved that about you. it's the reason i let you take me on a date."

"oh.. so i need to thank soobin then."

"exactly," y/n responded while flicking his head lightly. "but, my point was, i think about that a lot. it's always been really special to me. no one's really done that for me before."

yeonjun frowned.

"y/n, you deserve so much. i love you so much that it actually physically hurts sometimes.. i really hate that you have to deal with this stuff."

y/n felt as if yeonjun's words were sinking into his heart. he turned his head again to place a kiss on the latter's cheek.

"it makes it a lot easier when i have someone like you. growing up, i never had this kind of support. but i always feel safe and at home with you, so thank you, jun."

yeonjun nodded proudly at his words.

"-and i love you too," y/n added on.

"good. i was waiting for that," yeonjun pouted, making y/n release a small laugh.

"so how about.." yeonjun began again, his voice pausing in thought, "..we go shopping after i get off work tomorrow? we can get you some comfy oversized things. that usually helps, right?"

with a quick nod, y/n leaned his head back on the other's shoulder.

"that sounds perfect," he answered. "and you can invite beomgyu and soobin this time."

yeonjun nodded in agreement before silence surrounded them again. y/n gazed up at the stars as his head rested comfortably on yeonjun's shoulder and a little against his neck. he loved feeling secure with the male's arms so snug around him.

"are you ready to go back?" yeonjun asked. his voice was quiet, but it seemed loud in y/n's ear.

"sure, babe."

y/n got up first to carefully stand back on the slide's platform. yeonjun followed suit, making sure to take his boyfriend's hand again before starting on their way back home.

[thoseyoulove]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part III (with a bit of spoilers)

I like Gabrielle.

I'm not sure I love her, but I really like her.

I feel wrong using feminine pronouns with her, though. I feel like Gabrielle is whispering in my ear that is they/them. Like, I've never had a headcanon so strong before? I don't know about labels, but for me those are the pronouns Gabrielle would use. It's just so clear to me.

I won't use them because the book doesn't do it, the fandom doesn't do it, which I'm not criticizing because it isn't exactly 'official', so it wouldn't be real canon to... But I feel like if the books were released today, it would be. And I hope the show changes that and we can gradually adjust too.

I hope that when they write season 3, they show signs of her gender dysphoria even before she says something explicit like the "you're the man in me" conversation. I want lines that imply that, I want a look in her eyes and expressions on her face whenever she gets gender envious of guys or has to do something "feminine". The book doesn't do a lot of that because Lestat is the narrator and he is away from her, so we barely see her before the transformation/'transition' but the show has the opportunity to explore more of it and I hope they use it.

Gabrielle was born to be a vampire. I think she would nail it even without Lestat's counseling. It's just second nature for her. You go, bruh!

Gabrielle actually seems to be more fun and even affectionate than I expected? I was worried that she'd might be too confident, powerful, badass, empowered etc that she would feel cold and emotionless, because that's usually what happens with characters like these and I hate that... But so far it hasn't been the case.

She really blossomed with vampirism. Feels like she is finally getting the opportunity to have the life she was meant to live.

The only downside is the hair. That moment with the hair was so visceral. I feel bad for her. Imagine being stuck with a hair you hate and gives you body dysphoria forever. I hope the show lets her hair be short. Like, maybe her illness affected her hair or something. Or at least give her hairstyles that make it look shorter than it really is. Or make her cut it every day. I don't care. Let the dude have short hair! Period.

Lestat's reaction to all this is like... Mixed feelings. He doesn't love it. Which, I get it, all his life he knew her as a "woman". It can be weird adjusting to that, it may feel like you're losing someone. But there are these gentle moments when he separates accessories (if I remember it correctly, rings) that are masculine for her because he figures she would prefer them and when he says he'll cut her hair every night if she wants to, so it's more of unlearning and grieving what/who he thought was 'real' and adapting to a new reality. It's not an "okay, let's go!" reaction as if nothing happened, specially for the time being (1700s), it's complicated, but he seems to be open. I can't speak for everyone who is trans and/or under the non-binary umbrella, but it was human to me and I have no problems with it.

Alright, so whether it was incestuous before or not, now it clearly is. I do hope it started now and not when they were human, though.

She was my mother, my fledgling, my child (sort of), my roommate, basically the only friend I had and my lover. I mean, not exactly, but I thought the joke was funny.

I feel like if I talk about the incest, it has to be on another post because it would probably take too long. There are way too many things to talk about and I'm still approaching the middle of the book.

Let's just say it sort of makes works with how the book, the characters, this species and universe are written. I can sort of get it, at least for now. Is it necessary? No. Would the show suffer if they don't do the incest? Not all. Is it random, irrelevant, only for shock value and because "let's get nasty freaky and controversial these are vampires and this is gothic horror grow up cupcakes deal with it hahaha"? Also no! It has some kind of logic. But I feel like Lestat and Gabrielle are already layered enough with their parent/child/maker/fledgling/sort of envious of each other (including the fact they're both gender nonconforming to some extent) dynamic on its own, that there's plenty to cover here without incest. Still, if the show goes there (and I'm afraid they will), I also expect it to make sense and not be just for the sake of being seual, weird and controversial. I believe Rolin is too good to write something that mediocre and poor. So, I can live without it, but I'm also trusting the show to do whatever their thing is. Let's see, I guess.

Also, at least at the moment, it's not as big as people make it out to be. Again, to talk about this properly I'd need another post, but it's not like they sleep together, they're head over heels in love with each other or anything. Like I said, there's some logic that is kind of complicated to explain here, but it's not that radical and it's not that often. Sometimes I even genuinely and wholeheartedly forget about it. Fortunately, there are way too many other (and more) interesting things going on to focus on.

Gabrielle learning about her powers is really fun too, maybe even more fun than Lestat since she's such a natural at this whole thing.

And their maker/fledgling dynamic is entertaining as well.

She's like, climbing walls, jumping from roofs etc like a cat, just having the time of her life and while Lestat gets pretty adventurous and experimental with his powers too, it's not as much? Gabrielle takes it to the next level (good for her).

Like, sometimes he has to stop Gabrielle like a father with his kid, like "CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO HOME WE CAN DO MORE TOMORROW" and it's simply hilarious.

Stop it, Lestat, let Gabrielle HAVE FUN!

Gabrielle just gives major Cat Woman vibes. Now I need Cat Woman-esque scenes on the show with her climbing and jumping between buildings etc. WE HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND THE VISION IS CO CLEAR. Do it, Rolin!

It's cool that Lestat finally has some real company and someone with whom he can be open about being a vampire.

Loneliness is the biggest thing for him on the show and I have a feeling it's the same thing on the books. And it's even worse here, because there are moments where he is completely alone and in so much pain (and we haven't seen that on the show yet). Having Gabrielle around made things better for him and he hasn't cried in a little while (and he was crying A LOT on those first two chapters, for very understandable reasons), so this was a nice turn for him and the story.

I also think he enjoys being her mentor, like it gives him a sense of purpose and pride. Reminds me of how he talked about the way he felt at the monastery. And it's sweet to see him teaching Gabrielle stuff.

And sometimes he feels like an old and tired single dad and it's just funny. Like, Gabrielle is ready to create the vampire Olympics and win gold for every single sport and he just wants to sleep. Lestat is too much and loves playing around, but Gabrielle is too much even for HIM. Imagine having more energy than the actual ADHD child. What a legend. They're hilarious. A lot of room to play with humor with these two and I hope they use it.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[k-popanimeotomeandyanderes]

Yandere!Nagito x ftm!reader

Content: closeted reader (only Nagito knows), brief mentions of dysphoria, and also really self-indulgent

1.2k words

You had come to a realization about your gender a few years ago, but you kept it hidden from everyone around you. It's not that you thought they wouldn't be supportive. Some of your friends were trans too, but you just didn't know how to come out yet. As far as you knew, no one knew you were a man, so it was surprising when you started getting love notes that referred to you as things like “handsome” or “pretty boy.” You didn't mind, of course, far from it, but they couldn't have been meant for you… could they? How would anyone know to call you those things? You couldn't help but stress about it. Maybe you'd accidentally outed yourself, or someone was making fun of you.

You started out ignoring it, but the love letters got more frequent and more concerning. What started out as some nice compliments and a bit of gay desperation had turned into the mystery author degrading himself and obsessing over you. You started getting gifts too, your favorite flowers or items you'd been eying. The situation had reached a point where you had to do something, so you wrote a note back.

Since you had no idea who this man was or how to reach him, you decided to just leave the letter in your house, since he was probably breaking in anyway. The sealed letter to your maybe stalker sat on your dresser for just long enough to make you question all your decisions. You were probably just being paranoid. No one would ever break in to take a letter. Sometimes paranoia pays off, though, because the next time you checked, the letter was gone and replaced with a return letter from your stalker.

You were understandably terrified to read this new letter. Not only were the “normal” love letters concerning enough, but you'd actually confronted this guy about his actions and practically demanded to know who he was and why he knew you were trans. Despite your fear, you opened the letter and began to read.

“My dear (preferred name),

I'm unbelievably flattered to receive your attention. All of my love for you was given without the expectation of reciprocation, but now that I know you feel the same, I'm happier than I could ever imagine. Trash like me may not deserve your shining hope, but I can't stop myself from being selfish and choosing you regardless. As for who I am, I am Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate lucky student. Although my talent and general existence are both completely worthless, I do have one skill, which is observing you. You call me your “stalker,” which I can't deny. You're the perfect man, a beacon of hope for all of us peasants. I can't help but be attracted to everything you do. I adore every part of you. I doubt you are surprised that I learned such details about you, like your gender, from my observations. Fear not, darling. I accept you no matter what and you have always been a man in my eyes, even if that is not what you see in the mirror or if your negative thoughts tell you otherwise.

I understand that this situation may be overwhelming and that I have no right to ask anything of you. I am selfish. I can't keep away from you. I need to have you. I want you to be my boyfriend and to love me just as deeply as I love you. I know someone like me doesn't deserve your love or your kindness, but I need you. I need you so badly. I need your everything. If you even consider a relationship at all, please let me know. I would do anything for you, my beloved.

With love,

Nagito”

How were you supposed to feel about any of this? This man had stalked you and any positive feelings you had for him were probably just because he was the only one in your life who saw you as a man. Despite that, the idea of someone wanting you so much was enticing. He probably had some issues, but… you could totally fix him. Or not. Maybe not fixing him would be better anyway. You'd never had a boyfriend who truly saw you for who you were before, so why not give this a shot? You pushed aside all the red flags and started to draft a return letter.

A week and two letters later, you finally get the chance to meet your new boyfriend, Nagito Komaeda. You decided to meet in a public setting. It felt too weird for your first date to just be in your house. Dwelling on the whole stalking and breaking in thing wasn't very pleasant. You weren't sure what to look for. You'd never seen this man before in your life. You desperately hoped he wasn't a creepy old man or extremely hideous. Were those shallow things to be thinking of while meeting your new stalker boyfriend for the first time? Maybe. The next moment you look up, hoping to find a distraction, you see a man standing disturbingly close to you. He hadn't said anything, but he was definitely staring.

“You're quite close,” You whisper under your breath, almost hoping he won't hear.

“I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean to startle you. I'm just too used to avoiding your attention. Sorry. Trash like me shouldn't be—” You cut him off.

“It's fine, don't worry about it. So… I'm guessing you're Nagito.” You don't have much to talk about with him. He spends most of the rest of your date rambling about how perfect you are or how awful he is. He is pretty nice, at least. His white hair and sickly pale skin make him sort of attractive in a pathetic wet cat way as well. He's almost your type. There's a natural lull in your conversation. Nagito hesitates for a moment.

“(Preferred name)... are you uncomfortable?” He asks softly.

“No, not really. It's just new to me to be with a man as a man, I guess among… other things about our relationship.”

“But, you are interested in men, aren't you?” You shift a bit in your seat before answering. “Yeah. It's just my gender.”

“You've never been with someone who knew you're trans then? No gay dates before?” He seemed genuinely curious as he asked.

“Nope. Not a single gay date. Well, definitely none that knew it was gay, I guess? Maybe some secretly gay stuff?” You were basically rambling like Nagito had been before.

“I see. No wonder you're so nervous. Don't be. It's okay to be gay.” Did he really think that was the main issue? It was one small issue. Sure, being trans wasn't something you'd been this open about before, but dating your stalker was way worse than being a little homosexual.

“We can go at your pace,” Nagito adds. It's sweet that he cares about that even though he's totally violated plenty of boundaries already.

“Thanks for that, and thanks for being my first gay boyfriend.” You can't help smiling. Your date–your boyfriend—might be awkward and a criminal who broke into your house repeatedly, but he wasn't so bad. He was trying.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I can't believe we're having the egg prime directive debate all over again.

look, I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but it applies to me

my first boyfriend was a trans boy. I'm not gonna say his real name, so let's call him Jack. we dated in my sophomore year of high school, and at the time I thought I was a gay boy. he was the first trans person I ever met. of course I knew what being trans was, I had learned that they existed through being active in queer communities online. but everyone online felt so distant. like I could never be them.

but Jack was the first trans person who was like me: a nerdy high school kid who liked playing video games and listening to punk music and was stressed about his upcoming history paper. like a normal teenager, like me, could just be transgender. he helped me through my own dysphoria, and I came out as nonbinary, and then a trans woman a few months later early in my junior year. even though we broke up, we still remained friends and cared for each other and supported each other, being two of only a handful of trans kids at our high school.

I sometimes think how my life would be different if I never met Jack. I probably wouldn't have discovered I was transgender until much later in life, or even at all. and given that a year after I came out, the pandemic hit and I went through a major depressive phase... if I had to deal with gender dysphoria and not knowing why I was feeling that way and the stupid belief that I wasn't allowed to be trans on top of everything else... I honestly believe I wouldn't be here today.

I'm not telling you what you should say to other people. if they're a complete stranger, then obviously mind your own business. but if your friend is expressing genuine concern about their dysphoria and they feel like they don't belong in their own body, then maybe let them know that it's okay if they're trans and you'll support them instead of not saying anything.

best case scenario, you'll save their life. worst case scenario, they try transitioning and eventually realize it's not for them and they come out of it with a newfound understanding and appreciation of what it means to be transgender.

[stellarspecter]

STWG daily prompt 6/4/24: closet

pairing: stobin

wc: 738

transfem stevie, hurt/comfort, gender dysphoria (pls skip this one if that will be triggering for you!)

read it on ao3!

“Okay,” Robin said, throwing open the doors to Stevie’s closet. “Let’s see what we’ve got to work with.”

Stevie sat back on the edge of her bed, a little afraid of letting Robin peruse her embarrassingly extensive collection of polos. "Not a whole lot," she said. "I've only got, like, one skirt."

It was the most basic skirt she could come by, plain black and knee-length. The best part was that it flared out nicely when she twirled, which she had only ever done in the privacy of her own bedroom.

"That's alright," Robin said. "You don't need to wear a skirt to be feminine. I mean, have you ever seen me wearing one?"

Stevie cast her mind back and found, to her shock, that she actually couldn't think of a time when she had seen Robin in a skirt or even a dress. "Huh. I guess not. But that's different, you're all..." She gestured loosely to her friend, who quirked her eyebrow.

"I'm all what? Dyke-y?"

Stevie flushed. "I mean, I didn't want to say it, but — yeah."

Robin laughed. "It's okay, babe. I know you wouldn't mean it in a bad way."

"Thanks." Stevie bit her lip, thinking over the rest of what she had to say. "It's not just that, though. When you dress more masculine, people still see you as a girl. Because you're built like one, you — you actually look like one." She motioned to her chest in the shape of boobs, and then thought better of it and put her hands back in her lap, anxiously twisting around each other. "But when I dress more masculine, people just see me as a dude with long hair."

Robin sat down next to her and laid a hand over hers. "Stevie..."

She swallowed hard, on a roll now. "So I have to wear dresses and skirts and makeup for people to see me as a girl. Because if I don't, they're just gonna think I'm a man playing dress-up. Hell, they're probably gonna think that even if I do everything right. I mean, they're kind of right, aren't they? I just — it doesn't look right on me."

"Stevie." Robin's tone was hard and steely, dragging the tears she was unprepared for right out of her. She rubbed a rough hand (too large, what girl had hands the size of her face?) over her eyes. "Look at me."

Woefully, she met Robin's eyes. Her best friend grabbed her face between her hands, fingers tickling the back of her neck.

"You are not just a man playing dress-up," she said fiercely. "And anyone who thinks you are doesn't deserve to know you. You are beautiful."

Stevie's eyes welled up with fresh tears. "Rob —"

"No, you are," she declared. "Because you're happy. Have you seen yourself when you wear that skirt? Your eyes just light up and you smile so wide. You look so much more like yourself."

Stevie was crying again, but out of happiness this time. "You're so nice to me," she got out shakily between gasps for air.

Robin smiled. "Because I love you," she reminded her. "You're my soulmate, remember?"

Stevie nodded. "I love you too." She leaned forward and hugged her, inhaling the familiar scent of her green apple shampoo. "Thank you."

"Of course," Robin replied. They stayed in the embrace for a moment more, then pulled apart, Robin brushing errant strands of hair out of Stevie's face. "Just because you don't have a whole closet full of dresses doesn't mean you're not a girl. Any clothes you wear are girl clothes, because you're the one wearing them. Okay?"

Stevie nodded, trying to resist crying again, but it seemed that genuine kindness was her one weakness. "Okay."

"We can go shopping for some more skirts later this week, if you want?" Robin offered.

Stevie sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I'd like that."

"Great." Robin stood up and clapped her hands together. "But for now, let's see what kind of outfits we can put together with what you've already got! Styling can help a lot with making stuff seem more feminine. And accessorizing, so maybe you should get some more jewelry too."

"Sounds good," Stevie replied, coming to stand next to Robin, the both of them gazing into the depths of her closet.

Robin turned to look at her. "Ready?"

Stevie clenched her jaw and nodded. "Ready."

And together, they dove in.

dividers from @/saradika-graphics!

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I think in an earlier post you mentioned that it was Lucifer who gave birth to Charlie. How did he handle being pregnant? How different was it from a human pregnancy?

...You're right, and I am very impressed with your attention to detail because it was most passive implication.

All in all he handled it absolutely horridly, he is not very good with relaxing and letting himself being taken care of. Though he did find a deep set satisfaction in it as a act of creation, the only time he would settle was to gently feel out and follow the slow development.

It was really weird having to keep the shaping shifting down to minimum, he honestly didn't want to touch female anatomy for a decade after being stuck 24/7 for like a year.

Given the Archangels are doll/first try simplified, prototype lifeforms based there was something fundamentally violating about having his body reproduce but he's broken every other boundary of his make what's one more.

I'd make a joke about these two getting off on defying the Plan even when an easier solution is right in front of them, but it wouldn't even be a joke they have a genuine kink for all things forbidden.

They'd been speaking about giving hell an heir for centuries and some point realized the hold up. Lilith was deeply disturbed by the idea of pregnancy, I would go to calling it gender dysphoria. Besides it would be far easier for Lucifer to get away with stepping out of the spotlight for a year than Lilith.

I'm not really sure if Liliy would take pregnancy any better but Lucifer would probably excel in the doting fussing caregiver role.

No, there wasn't conception issues, just neither of them were sold on the idea having children for their own reasons and eventually after thousand of years the star aligned for one(1) kid.

Charlie probably didn't have a physical form for most the pregnancy, given how much she took from her environment (she is very demonic for both her parents being more Hell touched)

I'm playing with the idea that her entire body is a construction because she was born extremely unstable, constantly shifting. So Lucifer copied his own creation to give her something to grow into and settle, simple and doll like to mould to her.

Angel 'souls' aren't contained within their own body and hellborn don't have souls so they think that might be the source of the issue. He pretty much had to artificially replicate the human body-soul split.

[ideas-4-stories]

Hiii it's me, "more cross guild fluff dammit" anon again. Heads up I do talk about the "Crocodile is trans and that's what Iva's secret knowledge is" theory if that's not your cup of tea.

All three of the leaders of Cross Guild have days where they struggle to get out of bed. Crocodile when he has extreme dysphoria, Mihawk when he's overstimulated, and Buggy when his mental health plummets. They made an agreement that on those days there is to be no fighting, and to help each other with their self care routine instead. Buggy + Mihawk make Croc sit in front of a mirror and say gender affirming praises while discussing how handsome and masculine he is. Buggy + Crocodile ensure everyone stays far away from Mihawk's tent and come lay on him if he needs some pressure therapy (when I'm overstimulated I like it when someone "crushes" me). Crocodile + Mihawk coax Buggy into a bath and help him go through his intense skin and hair care routine. Somewhere along the line someone points out how domestic this all is and they realize that in these quiet moments, where they've learned to let their guard down around each other, they've developed feelings that are maybe a bit more than platonic.

I love that theory! It's quite interesting and it wouldn't surprise me if it's canon to One Piece. More representation of different people!!!

Mihawk seems to be a person that would whisper sweet gender affirming praises to Crocodile while Buggy would yell at him that he's a very handsome manly man, stumbling over his words in trying to find more things to say about Crocodile being who he is. They probably have to shut Buggy up, Crocodile is definitely goanna be tone deaf in one ear for a while. Couldn't have any other way thou.

Buggy and Crocodile trying their best help Mihawk when he's overstimulated is so cute!!! I like your idea of how it would go down. Maybe they could read a book together if Mihawk is okay with talking himself, while Crocodile and Buggy listens to him.

Crocodile and Mihawk doing that for Buggy is so tooth-rotting sweet and I love it!!! I've read a couple of fics where Buggy basically those delusions/hallucinations of have being back into the memory of those traumas. Blending the line of reality and memories. Even though it's a really sad thing, I like to headcanon it. That means Mihawk and Crocodile taking the time to get him back to reality by helping him with his routines sound so cute.

I know yesterday I said that I'll do one every day until the weekend. But things are getting clear so I can at least two every day. I see all the asks, so the people who asked don't worry I've seen them. I just homework and personal things going on. Going in order!

[transtalesofdoom]

The Egg Years and being Cis-Adjacent

I originally made this blog to talk about my new and exciting trans experience, so let's go do that. Long post, obviously and I just figured out how to do the Keep Reading thing

I didn't have any inherent dysphoria growing up, I was just a bit of a not-like-other-girls tomboy. Jeans were comfier than dresses, boobs and bras were sooo inconvenient, make up just meant more effort. Books and video games were more fun than going out to party. I wasn't good at dancing anyway. And don't even get me started on shaving your legs.

It became obvious to me that I wasn't strictly cis pretty much as soon as I learned that gender wasn't binary. It was common sense, really. If gender is a spectrum, very few people would actually find themselves on the very end of either side. So most people were just close enough to either end of the spectrum to consider themselves cis. Including myself.

As my understanding of gender grew, it became more and more ridiculous to assume anyone was 100% cis. There's always some criterion you don't fully meet. Of course, people could still use and identify with the label of cis, clearly there was some sort of leeway. But calling myself cis started to feel wrong. It felt like I was ignoring the very nature of gender as a vast spectrum by picking a label rooted in the binary. I was cis, but in a queer way. I started calling myself cis-adjacent when talking to other queer people.

I never had a "problem" with my assigned gender at birth, outside of the patriarchy and sexism and periods, but those weren't trans reasons to resent being a woman. Being a woman suited me well enough. I wouldn't have cared if I wasn't, if I woke up one day without boobs, I'd just go on and fit into shirts much more easily. I considered "gender-apathetic" as a label, but ultimately it felt like too much hassle for something I was indifferent about.

Really, that was what it came down to. I was close enough to being cis, I didn't have any internal problems with calling myself a woman or living as one. Sure, there probably was something more accurate for me out there, but I knew about the struggles trans people faced. A good friend of mine had come out as trans and started his transition. I was happy for him, but I also got to see the difficulties it brought to update paperwork and book appointments and constantly emailing professors about your new name and pronouns. Not to mention the whole coming out to family thing. Or transphobia. There wasn't enough suffering in me to submit myself to this much effort and misery. Or force everyone in my life to learn a new set of pronouns and name for me, irrevocably changing every single relationship I had in the process. I didn't even want to be a man anyway. Just look a little more like one.

And I could easily present pretty masculine without transitioning. I only wore pants anyway. And hoodies were super comfy. I cut my hair short more than once. I considered buying a binder, just to see what that would do for me, but every time I tried looking into it, I just got overwhelmed and, like I said, there wasn't enough suffering to justify spending 50 bucks and at least one extensive research session on it. Ironically enough, during my last year as cis-adjacent, I finally reconnected with a part of my femininity and wore dresses to special occasions again.

However, a new problem had found my body: The unstoppable passage of time. I wasn't a perky teenager anymore. My body gained weight, my boobs succumbed to gravity, and I had very little in common with what was considered a beautiful woman. Even a beautiful butch woman didn't look like me. No one beautiful looked like me, really. I told myself that I had a lot of internalized misogyny and fatphobia to unlearn. That the reason I started disliking my reflection was social conditioning. I was right about that, of course. But there was more to it that I, in my self-righteous blaming of society, didn't acknowledge.

Until the last full moon night of 2023, when my mirror reflected a ghost back at me.

[ace-of-gay]

ok so Stucky’s little struggles with sensory issues & recently their hair has been bothering them because the length is causing the hair to touch their neck & shoulders. so Stucky takes them to get their hair cut at a salon. this causes a tantrum because salons can be very overwhelming. Stucky of course isn’t mad at their little because they understand that it is just too much sensory stimulation for their little & it’s hard to process that especially in little space. afterwards, their little feels so much better with their haircut.

I just had to do this over the weekend. I have thick curly hair & especially with what I do, it was beginning to become too much. it was hard to manage, causing sensory issues, & giving me gender dysphoria. I actually cut it myself because I’m a broke college student 😂 it didn’t turn out too bad. it is definitely shorter than I intended but it’s just hair & it’ll grow back so it doesn’t bother me.

anyways I would love to see you write this

💖

Too long

Stucky x little neurodivergent reader

Word count: 1,506 words.

Warnings: Reader is sensory averse, mentions of barbershops, scissors, slight meltdown'ish behavior, sensory issues, hair combing/ brushing meaning physical contact, etc.

Age regression is a coping mechanism, if your not knowledgeable and uncomfortable of the topic either read up on it or ignore please <3

No gender, weight, ethnicity or hair type mentioned, reader is at least slightly able bodied in this

Gn reader

90% edited to the best of my ability

Dont like it dont read it especially when theres warnings

It’d been a year and a half of you letting your hair grow out, the goal was a year potentially two if it wasn’t too bad but your hair grows fast and the weight of it being different now from when you had it cut is definitely a feeling that can make you turn on goals.

You made the goal a week after the haircut having already forgotten the burden of it touching your neck and covering your ears.

Hats were now impossible unless you tied it up but than there’d be an uneven feeling against the top of your head and that was not a desired sensation you’d wish to put yourself through.

There weren’t any safe hairstyles that you were able to comfortably do without them tugging on sections or it feeling uneven no matter the help you got from either of your carers.

Steve at shield for a business related event meant you were left with Bucky for the day, he tried his best to implement brushing your hair as a routine part of your day but the tug and pull hurt so had you’d whimper and writher in your spot if someone was brushing it for you often leading to you getting upset and telling them they’re doing it wrong even though they were just as gentle as you were, you would take over and do your very best but no matter how easy it was to get the brush through your hair it still hurt and the bristles and teeth of brushes and combs hurt so bad and felt like rakes in you scalp, currently you were sitting on the counter top infront of the mirror as Bucky carefully brushed and combed your hair.

Your face turned down in a winced frown, tears threating to spill from your glossy eyes, "bubby please stop, hurts bad, i try now" you whimpered trying your very best to keep from taking your painful frustration out on him, he could hear you slipping, "alrighty little bee, I’m going to make a snack for us, ill be right back, just shout of you need me"

you hated brushing your hair so much that you would help Bucky with his so he wouldn't feel the pain you felt.

It was always such an intimate and gentle thing for him, on stressful days where he felt stuck in a mindset that wasn't comfortable he would ask if you’d like to help him do his hair, often leading to him sitting on the floor in front of you how you do with him, carefully working your way through his hair.

He refrained from telling you that the pain and discomfort was probably just a sensory issue possibly allodynia, he feared if you knew it would make you feel lonely and not understood in the struggle.

Gliding the brush through your hair it would get through but it was a struggle.

Once so far into the struggle and pain it became a ticking time bomb for lashing out, a grumble as you tug one last time with no success, you take the brush from your hair, a broken sob taking it in both hand "j-jus stop hurtin mee please hurts so bad i gon break you, i hate youu!" followed by you throwing the offending brush to the floor, getting down from the counter you open Steve and Bucky’s hair styling kit, taking out the scissors and grabbing a chunk of your hair.

Bucky heard the ruckus and knew what was coming, making his way to the bathroom as quickly as he could while keeping a calm composure, he wished with all his heart that he could help you how you do him.

rounding the corner into the bathroom to see you holding the scissors in one hand and some hair in the other, tears burning trails into your cheeks.

"Hey honey bee, lets not do that, sharp objects are dangerous, can you please hand me the scissors precious? "Your  trembly little hands slowly move to carefully hand Bucky the scissors that he sets aside out of reach, pulling you into a hug.

"I know it hurts baby, do you want to research some sensory friendly hairstyles and talk to Stevie about going to the barber tomorrow?  Does that sound okay?"

Reluctantly nodding into his chest he places a feather light kiss to the top of your head, you definitely weren't paying complete attention because normally you wouldn't even consider the barber shop but he carries on for the time being, picking you up taking you to relax in the living room, no more brushing for today.

Steve waking in you hurriedly set your sippy down to go greet him at the door, bouncing on your toes waiting for him to take off his jacket and set his keys down, with every bounce you could feel the ends hit the sides of your face, neck, and your ears, quickly shaking your head to get the feeling to stop and you halt your excited stim, "dada i get haircut tomorrow please?" Still having convinced yourself that its an at home haircut.

Bucky had already briefed him on the decisions of today and the hope for tomorrow over text, also letting him know that youre not exactlyaware it was for a barbershop haircut but alas it was necessary.

"I don’t see why not little bee, has bubby helped you decide what style you want?" Nodding you take his hand pulling him to the couch to show him the picture Bucky saved.

The next day came quickly with you excited for your sensory freedom from pain and discomfort, it finally dawned on you where youre getting the haircut because of your comfort stuffy being safely tucked away in your bag, your hand in both Bucky’s and Steve’s about to walk out of the house when you stopped, terror in your eyes, they dont let go but instead hold slightly tighter onto your hands for what came next, you dropped all of your weight to the floor, there was no way a stranger in a loud building was getting near you with a pair of scissors.

Managing to tear your hands from theirs you sprint off to your playroom hiding in the back of your closet with your comfort stuffie.

They knew this was coming, its no suprise youre terrified,  you only ever acted out when you were uncomfortable or scared so soothing you was the bis step "Baby i know you dont like salons, i promise daddy wouldn't take you to a bad place, its a sensory safe salon, no music, just us and two workers, does that sound okay?" Bucky soothed through the door It honestly did, it sounded much better than a normal barber shop.

you wearily walk into the hair salon for your appointment and like bucky had stated it was a very sensory safe environment which relieved some of the worry.

Being called over you sit in the chair as Bucky shows the hairdresser your choice Steve hands you your comfort stuffie "youre okay baby, i know its scary but we'll be just over there and we wont let anything bad happen to you" you nod and take a few breaths with him and than heads back over to the wait area.

"Quite the change, you’re gonna look amazing, the stylist cheers"

Going forth and doing your hair as decided the stylist makes sure to be as gentle as possible, knowing that your hair is an issue for you she makes the haircut go as quick and smoothly as possible, last in the process she picks up the comb and in that moment you clench your eyes shut taking deep breaths, holding tightly onto your stuffy, the comb easily glides through your hair a breath of relief. the change brought you much comfort, your hair no longer touching you face, neck or ears, brushing no longer feeling like a metal hose clamp to its tightest position and ripping your hair from your delicate scalp, now it felt like nothing, it was perfect.

The hair stylist unclips the cape cover and lets you head over to you daddies, a big grin upon your face, you shake your head rapidly, it felt like wind in the trees, ease and comfort, Bucky went to pay while you show Steve your new hair, "you look so good little love", bucky joins you both with a smile, "you did so good baby im so proud of you".

Stepping out into the slight breeze it felt so good and freeing.

The next while would feel amazing, being able to go about your days with fewer stressors, Bucky loves seeing you start your days with less discomfort and irritation from your hair being an issue, in all aspects its just hair, it doesn't depict who you are its grows back and it can be once again cut, and when that time comes youre certainnext time wont be so scary now that youve found a safe place.

Thank you so much lovely for requesting such a wonderful idea, i really hope this does your idea justice <3

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

dysphoria kicking my butt this year and why exactly? pray tell, I've been like this for YEARS, there's no reason for it to suddenly be such an asshole about it. why can't it just be like depression or anxiety, headspace stuff that almost mindless tasks help with where getting wood or washing dishes or gardening or rock hunting can keep you focused on other outside stuff JUST enough to give a small break WHILE getting things done, but oh no, now any reminder of having a body and any moment it comes to mind has to turn into bodyhorror, now it's "if i can't completely divorce myself from the concept of my physical self I'm going to scream" and THAT makes just walking hard, and of course now it's also summer time so even layering is out, walking about like a damn question mark trying to get the shirt to fall straight and not touch the chest huggers or remind me they're there AND!!!!

and, most stupidly of all, getting rid of them probably wouldn't even help. from odd woman to odder woman or maybe sorta guy, from one gender slot to another, where is the NEITHER option. this is approaching "am i envious of the dude from The Fly" territory. if i was a giant bug only entomologists and maybe monsterfuckers would care about my personal details. everyone else would just run and scream and call me "it" and "that horrifying thing" and life would be so good i swear

i'd settle for it not being summer though. fuck warm weather. seventy million hells all damn not being able to wear snow pants and heavy winter coats

"you can be genderless with any kind of body!" i AM already without gender, but i live in a place where that's NOT an option and was raised by this place and they're giving me fucking dysphoria with their idiot ideas and how it's baked into everything around us. how do you escape it? even people playing around with or subverting it are still USING it, still have to be like "yes it's here" before they break it!

can't even SIT in front of the COMPUTER without wanting to rip parts of my body off... Stupid? stupid! i should just be a giant bug. my spiderman-sona would just be a giant gay bug

"a giant GAY bug?? how does being gay work if there's no gender"

I DONT KNOW I DONT GET GENDER ITS MYSTEROUS ITS MAKING ME MISERABLE ITS GOTTEN RANDOMLY WORSE FOR SOME REASON THATS IT THATS ALL THE DATA I HAVE

to all the people with genders you are valid and please have fun with them and if you figure out a widely understood way for someone to signal they have no such thing or discover a human-to-large-bug transformation ray gun please let me know, i have an interest in either option

[azureintrigue]

Ok now do MK1 KUNG LAO YOU WERENT FINISHED WITH ME YET! I feel like..there’s this one thingy I’ll tell you in thingy but I think you would understand it

BACK TO THE COAL MINES FOR ME...

Sexuality Headcanon: I HC him as also Bi, but he strongly prefers men, to the point where he probably thought he was gay for a long time. Bro didn't have a gay awakening, he had a Bi one. (Like me fr.) Gender Headcanon: CIS!! But he still uses He/They and sometimes even She. I think he finds pronouns to be a silly thing, but he's content with what he has. He wouldn't be offended if someone calls him pretty, or beautiful or typically 'feminine' compliments. He's cis here in my head, because Liu Kang wanted his bff to be able to be happy and not have to experience the crippling dysphoria he watched him struggle with. He's got a funny thing with gender, definitely sees himself as a man, but doesn't mind if other people see him differently. That strong kinda self-confidence that just genuinely makes him happy in his body regardless of what other people think. A ship I have with said character: I LIKE HANLAO HELP ME. I also Love Railao. Anything where he can be happy but also has that nice bit of angst in it... A BROTP I have with said character: OKAY HEAR ME OUT. LET ME COOK. KUNG LAO AND TOMAS. THEIR INTERACTIONS ARE SO BROCODED I LOVE THEM AAAUUGGGGHH melts away into a pile of sand. A NOTP I have with said character: Exploding the pancakes of people who ship him with Liu Kang /J /J /J I am joking i promise. I just personally don't like the ship. A random headcanon: Half-Filipino on his dads side, but never knew either of his parents. From the Cagayan De Oro area, he can speak Mandarin, Bisayan, and Standard Tagalog. This is part was inspired by the fact he just seems like a Chismoso and also by the fact in Mortal Kombat: Conquest, his actor was Paolo Montalban, a filipino man.

General Opinion over said character: AAAAUUGGH I WANT TO PICK HIM UP AND SHAKE HIM LIKE A SNOWGLOBE PLEASEEE UGHHH I LOVE HIM. I don't relate to him as much as MK11 Lao but LORD IS HE PRETTY AND LORD AM I A FAN. He's absolutely my favorite in MK1, followed by Quan Chi, and Rain. Honestly, I welcome all gender hcs for this goober. Trans, genderfluid, agender, bigender. I can see all of them fitting. Also Homophobia and transphobia don't exist in the MK1 universe Liu Kang eradicated it sorry I don't make the rules.

[groenendaelfic]

I've been thinking a lot about trans!Simon lately, specifically transmasc Simon, and the idea both saddens and infuriates me.

Not the part about Simon being trans of course, but how the Royal Court, the government and a not insignificant chunk of Sweden would react to Wille dating a trans man.

Because even if Kristina & co are told in the same briefing they find out he exists (unlikely but possible), they would hear his name first and assume he was AMAB.

Of course Kristina and the Royal Court would prefer if Wille dated a cis woman, but compared to a cis guy? They'd be delighted.

Transmasc Simon has a womb, to the best of their knowledge a fully functioning one, and that's all that matters. That Wille is enough into someone with a healthy womb that he's willing to marry and have children with them.

It's basically a win/win for everyone.

Wille gets to be with the person he loves, Kristina gets a happy son and hopefully grandkids and legitimate heirs in a few years, the government doesn't have to bother with pesky changes to the law and can still pride itself on Sweden being one of the most modern and progressive countries in the world, all without lifting a finger other than to permit the Crown Prince to marry the love of his life.

And if the relationship doesn't work out? Well then everyone can rest assured that Wille can manage to get it up for someone with a womb, so there's still hope. Yay.

Oh, except for Simon. It'd be a nightmare for Simon, because if he does not get pregnant, whatever the reason might be, then he'll be torn to shreds by the media etc and being called selfish will probably be the least of it. He will be pressured from day one of the marriage.

If Wille steps down? That is going to be a major blow to trans rights and acceptance, and terfs and transphobes will love it. I'm not saying that makes being a transmasc spouse to the future king worth it, I'm just saying there's no choice which won't be shit and leave Simon feeling guilty and most likely requiring therapy for life.

But if he does choose to get pregnant? He will be feminized to hell and back. He might enjoy being pregnant, but he also might not, and it as well as the entire circus around it might also cause the worst kind of gender dysphoria.

In fact I think it's very likely. And yet the pictures of him pregnant (and maybe photoshopped to make him appear more feminine because lets not kid ourselves people suck) will keep being posted and published for the rest of his life, whenever a "halfway plausible" reason arises, or maybe just because it's a slow news day.

And you know what happens after you have your first child? The questions of, why bother getting your figure back? Why not go for a second one immediately? Wouldn't that be easier? start coming up all day every day, even by "well intentioned people"'.

It'd be absolute hell for Simon, and that's why I'm never going to write trans!Simon (and/or pregnant!Simon of any kind). Apart from the fact that I would have too much anxiety about not being able to do the topic justice.

(I do know that there're a few trans!Simon fics out there I've yet to read, and that is awesome, because more fic is always good and because I admire those authors so much. This post has nothing to do with any existing trans!Simon fic, but is rather in reply to a few anon asks I got re Basket Baby and choosing to make Wille the one who gets pregnant, despite me generally seeing Wille as someone who prefers to top more often than not, and Simon to bottom, although they do switch plenty enough and want to try everything with each other, because they're Wilmon)