#progresses that is the POINT. UGHH

[hoziersong]

i can finally crochet something other than chains :D

[szilverer]

another doodle of this thing + a simplified cute form

i wonder how many silverers collapse into themselves and turn into mindless parabolan monsters. feels like that'd be a very real risk of the profession if you're skilled enough & your mental fortitude falters for some reason or another

some unkind futures

[brningcigs]

- you catch kirishima watching p-rn and ask to watch with him. can you guess what happens next? 🤭

note: this could also go for kaminari too UGHH

cw: (COLLEGE AU!) virgin!kirishima, virgin!reader, piv (female genitalia!), oral (f receiving) i think that’s all!! if i missed anything lmk!

you didn’t mean to ease drop. you were on your way to his dorm when you heard strange noises coming from inside, halting your fist just before your knuckles hit the door to press your ear against the wood with wide eyes. you couldn’t believe your ears, your bestfriend was watching porn.

you opened the door and kirishima couldn’t be more quick to practically slam his laptop shut, wide eyed with parted lips as he stared back at you. “were you just watching porn?” you question even though you already know and he shakes his head frantically to which you laugh and point a finger at him. “you totally were!”

his face is beat red at this point, bending his elbow and hiding his face behind his forearm and bicep, rambling on about how embarrassed he was. :(((( he’s so cute.

“can i watch too?”

he’s baffled that you would even ask such a thing, slowly lowering his arm to give you a questionable look, eyes slightly narrowed. he almost thought he was hearing things at first. “uhmm… sure…”

so you sit beside him on his bed, both criss crossing your legs causing your knees to touch and he presses play sheepishly. you guys sit in silence for a few awkward seconds, watching the grossly over exaggerated performance but you eventually start cracking jokes which causes him to laugh.

the both of you end up talking about the general idea of sex and it comes out that you’re both virgins. eijirou purses his lips as he glances back down at the laptop for a moment and suddenly without thinking, asks you if you wanted to try it out with him. although when he realizes what he said he’s back to being all embarrassed, trying so hard to defend himself.

“i mean… maybe we could figure it out together… UH-i mean like if yknow you ever wanted to- or-.. just forget i said anything.” he’s such a stuttering mess it’s adorable!!

you giggle and happily agree to his offer and he’s stunned. if any more surprises hit him tonight, he’s afraid he’ll have a heart attack.

you two end up trying what you saw in the video you watched - you started with innocent kisses; soft and sweet with both your guys’ hands cupping each others face as you both giggle into the kiss. and than the kissing progressed, a full on make out sesh that grew more intense. you end up in his lap and he’s grabbing onto anything he can touch. your shoulders, your waist, your thighs. and every time his short nails graze against your skin your humming with approval and he’s sooo dizzy.

he’s getting desperate and needy and you’re not far behind him, his hands guiding your hips against his painful hard-on, the room filled with breathy moans and gasps and all sorts of other desperate noises youre both probably embarrassed of.

you’re getting impatient, gripping his soft red hair to pull away and he’s chasing your lips.

“do you have condoms?”

he practically tumbles over the side of his bed and you erupt into a fit of giggles as he yanks open his bed side drawer and pulls out a condom.

the SECOND he pushes inside you his face pales over because shit he already feels like he’s going to cum. he’s mumbling incoherent nonsense under his breath and praying to GOD that he doesn’t embarrass himself and he’s so grateful you need a second to get used to the feeling of penetration before any movement happens.

his muscular body is hovering above you with his blanket covering you both and when you give him the go ahead to start moving he grows more anxious. he drags his hips out and his face is contorting and twisting in pleasure, a shaky groan leaving him as he slowly pushes back into you.

hearing that high pitched gasp when his tip kissed your cervix has his hips snapping back to push right back into you, wanting, needing to hear that sound again. over and over, he’s met with soft moans that has him running, sprinting to the finish line, leaning down to nip at your neck as you hold onto him and lock your legs around his waist.

“kirii..” you whine out, clenching around him and practically pulling him back in every single time he winds back and that was the literal end of him.

before he can even warn you his cumming into the condom, arms tightly wrapped around you as he fucks into you desperately, moaning into your neck and rambling incoherent praise.

when he’s realized he came in the first three minutes his face is as red as his hair and he’s pulling away to look down at you in a panic of embarrassment.

“i-i’m so sorry! fuck you just felt so good i couldn’t help myself.. did you finish?”

he’s horrified when you giggle and shake your head despite the content look on your face and he’s shoving his own face into the nape of your neck, apologizing over and over again and you only laugh.

“it’s okay kiri, i swear! it’s normal, you don’t have to be embarrassed.” you soothed but he wasn’t convinced.

“nono, i’m not gonna leave you unsatisfied.. that wouldn’t be manly at all.”

you’re shocked as you watch him shuffle down the bed and move in between your legs, about to object but we’re cut off by his tongue pressing flat against your core. your body jolts and you cry out at the stimulation, and kirishima has a sparkle in his eyes at the effect he has on you.

he’s like a kid in a candy store, lapping at your little bundle of nerves with a firm hold on your hips. he moves his tongue just like he saw in the video, flicking your sensitive bud and wrapping his lips around it. he’s making out with your heat like a starved man, moaning into you as if eating you out is causing him some immense amount of pleasure.

the vibrations from his voice against your clit is enough to make you finally come undone, legs shaking and your toes curling and you SWEAR you saw stars.

kirishima is cleaning you up, drinking down your cum and you squeal at the over stimulation, pushing against the top of his head. “too much!”

the red headed boy pulls himself up with a wide smile and a wet chin, his tongue darting out to clear any of your remaining essence off his lips. “i never thought i’d love doing that so much!” he exclaims and you shake your head with a dopey smile, still coming down from your high.

“hey, you up for another round?”

kirishima asks sheepishly after sitting up to reveal that he was hard again and you just sit up and pounce on him.

it’s safe to say you two did a lot of that in your guys’ free time after that. 🤗

[softgcf]

unpopular opinion but i kinda like how wilmon's relationship progressed to worse from s1 to s3 bcs i felt like it was kinda bound to happen(?) simply because of wilhelm's status if yall know what i mean.

like their communication and connection in s1 is great which shows that they can actually be in a healthy relationship. yeah, it was bit rocky at first but it's understandable and they STILL communicate. the shower scene after the sex tape was posted solidified that for me.

s2 and s3 were both all over the place. they had some conversations here and there and talked about their differences but it's obvious that the constant fights mirror their current state of mind, especially wilhelm. it just shows that yeah, they could be in a healthy relationship (s1) but the situation is fucked up (s2) so how about we figure out what do we really want (s3)

also, i didnt think that the break up was unnecessary bcs i felt like it was needed and was kind of expected at the end of s2 when wilhelm came out. one of the main points of the show was that wilhelm's issue isnt about liking a guy, it's about being part of the royalty. august actually got a point (ughh) when he said that he had issues before he (or even simon) got involved bcs wilhelm's issues lie within the royal family and finding himself. wilmon's relationship progressing to worse is bound to happen. it's not the lack of communication. i mean,, yeah there's that, but i feel like even if they did communicate the break up would still happen. simon had to step up for them to take a step back. his decision is not cruel. he did it for them and wilhelm UNDERSTOOD that.

[guilty-pleasures21]

I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA ABOUT JASON

IMAGINE JASON DATING AN S/O WHO'S ALSO A WEREWOLF OR SMTHN SIMILAR--- I'M THINKING OF BITING RN. BITING JASON. WITH CANINES. OR FANGS. GROWLING WHEN YOU REALISE HE'S BLAMING HIMSELF FOR SMTHN. MORE BITING AND HIM LIKING IT.

(ughh some days i just wanna top that man and see him trying and failing to not be submissive as hell)

I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM BTW!!!

~ 🐺anon

Ahh! @🐺anon thank you so much!

Okay, so I'm actually a HUGE vampire nerd (I've never seen/read Twilight, but I have other recommendations if people are interested!) and funnily enough, I only realised when one of my friends pointed out to me my suspiciously extensive knowledge of vampires once back in school. (And I also found out my best friend was secretly OBSESSED with werewolves - she used to read all the Patricia Briggs books and I called her out on it one day? 🤣)

BUT ANYWAY! I really love wolf-coded guys? Like, the fangs and the claws and the pure masculine dominance and need to protect their mate (I FELL IN LOVE WITH MIGUEL BEFORE KNOWING ANY OF THIS ABOUT HIM THOUGH OKAY?!! 🥺).

P.S. I was actually working on a Dick Grayson fanfic loosely based off of Red Riding/Beauty and the Beast once, so ... 😳😅

The monster

Jason's already told you all his secrets. Are you ready to tell him yours?

Warnings: mentions of trauma and explicit descriptions of sex (male x female).

----------------------------------------------------------

She rang the doorbell, then knocked on his door when he still hadn’t answered.

“Jay!” X yelled through the door. “You know I'm gonna find some other way to come in!”

She waited patiently for a few moments, then finally, he opened the door. “What?!”

X reflected his expression back at him, her eyebrows scrunching together in irritation. “Rude!”

Jason clenched his jaw at her response and tightened his grip on the edge of the door. “Not tonight, X.”

X folded her arms across her chest. “I came all this way and you're just going to turn me away at the door?! At least let me use your bathroom first!”

Jason rolled his eyes and sighed before heading back into his apartment. He left the door open behind him, but didn’t speak a word to her as he trudged back into his bedroom. It must have been really bad then. But was it because of a mission or another nightmare? She shouldn't have left him alone last night, but she'd had no choice! It was the full moon, after all, and her parents would have killed her if she’d missed it.

She took her bag off and set it down on the kitchen island before tiptoeing into Jason's bedroom. He was lying on his side of the bed, even when she wasn't there to take up the empty space beside him, and her heart cracked at the sight. She slid onto her stomach next to him, taking care to keep that bit of distance between them. Then she turned to face him. “You don't have to talk about it, but you don't have to take it out on me.”

Jason sighed, knowing she was right - wanting to believe that she was right. But it was difficult to undo years of damage in just a few months. And even though she always encouraged him about the progress she saw him making, some days, he felt like life hadn't moved at all; like he was still trapped in that abandoned warehouse, waiting for someone to want him enough to come rescue him. He removed his arm from over his face, but continued to avoid her gaze. X watched him quietly, giving him the time he needed. Then finally, he glanced over at her - her thick hair trailing across her pillow, her long limbs sprawled out over his bed. He shuffled closer to her and she turned onto her side so he could snuggle up against her, his arm coming around her waist as he buried his face in her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, still waiting patiently.

“How-” He broke off as his voice cracked and took a moment to compose himself. “Why do you love me?” ‘Why do love me? What do you love about me? What in me is worth loving?’. That was what he was really asking her to tell him. She continued to stroke his hair, trying to find the right words to comfort him.

“Hmm,” she contemplated. “You're really sweet, Jay. I know you think that everyone thinks you're this big, bad, tough guy who just hates everything, but you care so much about the things that are important to you.” Jason tightened his grip on her, wanting so badly to believe what she was saying, to believe that he was good, so she continued.

“You always fight so hard to give everyone the opportunity to be good; to give them a choice and teach them all the different reasons they should make the right decision. You put everything into what you believe in, even at the cost of yourself.” She paused to press a kiss to the top of his head and he finally relaxed a little. “You're gentle and attentive and so caring; so deserving of all the love in the entire world and I will fight everyone to give it to you!”

Jason let out a soft snicker at the thought of his tiny little girlfriend beating people up for him. Then he tensed up again. “But … But I've hurt people. I've done bad things.”

Her response was immediate.

“We've all done bad things, Jay - we're only human.” Mostly. “But you've never hurt anyone … You've only hurt those who have hurt hundreds of other people! And in doing that, you've given all those other people a chance at life. At a better life. You basically do what everyone complains about God not doing.”

He pulled back slightly to raise an eyebrow at her in disbelief: had she just compared him to God? X shuffled closer to him and cupped his cheek in her hand, her fingers brushing along the stubble sprinkled around his jaw.

“You serve justice - even if it doesn't look so pretty sometimes,” she added. “Like karma.” Her eyes lit up at the thought.

“Ooh! Should we change your vigilante name to that?” she suggested excitedly. “That's such a cool name: Karma. And you'd have such cool catchphrases too!”

Jason couldn’t stop the smile that creeped across his face at her enthusiasm. He'd revealed his identity to her a few weeks before they'd started dating, secretly thrilled that the cute friend he'd made at the library months ago was already so enamoured with his alter ego. She liked how firm he was, she'd always say; how he wasn't afraid to make sure that everyone got what they deserved. She'd scare Dick and Steph sometimes, with how intense she could be, but he loved it - he loved her. Even though he still hadn't found the courage to say it just yet. He stroked her back gently, delighting in how soft she was. “I'm not changing my name, X.”

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him - like a little puppy. She'd remind him of one sometimes, bouncing around with her infectious enthusiasm, rambling on about something interesting she'd found without stopping taking a breath. He could practically see her wagging her imaginary little tail whenever she got excited. “Then can I do it? Can I become a vigilante like you?”

She held her fists close to her mouth, almost whimpering as she begged him for it - just like a little puppy. Jason ruffled her hair fondly and tugged her a little closer to him. “I don't want you to ever be in danger because of me.”

“Then keep me safe!” she responded quickly, grinning like it was that easy, that simple.

Jason snuck his hand beneath the hem of her shirt and scratched her skin lightly as he studied her. Then he pulled her into his chest and pressed his lips to her hair.

“I'll keep you safe,” he promised her. “I'll keep you safe, sweetheart.” He hesitated after saying it, thinking about it. If he was being honest, he didn't want her to get involved in that part of his life because he never wanted her to see that side of him: to see him for the monster he really was. And maybe it was selfish of him, but … what other choice did he have?

“X …” he began slowly.

“Hmm?” She tilted her head back to look up at him.

“Do you … Do you ever get scared of me?” he asked her quietly. “Do you ever think … I could be a monster?”

He looked so sad as he said it, his voice all soft and terrified. And she wanted to beat up whoever had ever made him feel that way. She frowned.

“Why would I ever get scared of you, Jay? You keep me safe, remember?” Her brows remained creased as she watched him consider her response. Then her heart leapt into her throat as she realised that this was the best opening she was ever going to get. “But Jay … Even if … Even if you thought you were a monster … I'd say that we can be monsters together.” She curled into herself and peeked up at him nervously, then let her eyes glow gold in the dim light of the moon streaming in through the windows.

He did a double take, unsure if he’d just seen what he thought he saw. Had her eyes just … flashed gold?! Or had it just been a reflection of something? “What?”

X bit her lip and sat up, avoiding his gaze.

“What if … What if I told you I was a monster?” she asked him carefully. “Would you still love me then?”

Sure, he'd never said it, but she knew that he loved her - how could she not when he was always looking after her and buying her little gifts, planning small surprises for her and showering her with all his affection whenever they were together? But she'd been selfish - she'd fallen in love with the poetic boy with the white streak in his hair from their first conversation in the library and ever since then, she hadn't been able to stomach the thought of ever losing him.

Jason sat up, bewildered. Why was she suddenly acting so strangely?

“Of course!” he assured her firmly. He reached out to cup her cheeks. “Of course I'd …”

“I'd still want you,” he finished lamely. “Even then.”

X turned her face away from his, her stomach roiling with nerves. But she had to tell him - she couldn’t keep lying to him forever. “I'd never hurt you, Jay! You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” he assured her, turning her face back to his. “Of course I know you'd never hurt me, princess. But why are you talking like this? What happened?”

X dug her fingers into the mattress, wincing in anticipation of his response.

“I belong to a family that …” Ugh, it was like pulling teeth! Or fangs. Maybe she should just come out and say it. “I can turn into a wolf! Sometimes. But I don't hurt anyone! I'd never hurt anyone, Jay! Especially not you!”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, the fear scrawled all over her face, and his breath caught in his throat: he'd never had anyone afraid to lose him. Not him, never him.

“W-What … What are you talking about?” He rubbed his thumb along her cheek, waiting for a better explanation.

X whimpered nervously as she curled into herself. “I can … I can show you?”

A wolf?! She could turn into a wolf?! What the f*ck?! What the hell was he supposed to say to that?! He let his hand fall from her face and shrugged, wanting to put her at ease. “Okay.”

She stood up and went over to the window to pull the curtains open. She took a moment to soak in the moonlight, letting its power wash over her, then she turned back to him, allowing him to see her for who she really was.

Jason’s jaw dropped at the sight of her golden eyes, her elongated canines, her sharp claws. What the actual f*ck?!

“I'm not … I can turn into a full wolf, if I wanted to, but I'd be too big.” She glanced around the room after saying it, imagining her large wolf form trying to squeeze into the space between his bed and his window. Then she lowered her head and waited for his response.

She still seemed the same: still spoke the same, still acted the same, still curled into herself with fear in anticipation of his response in the same way. He narrowed his eyes at her thoughtfully. “How?”

“It runs in my family,” X admitted, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I've been able to do it since I was young.”

“Does it hurt?” Jason asked her.

X shook her head quickly, still keeping her distance from him so she wouldn't scare him. “No!”

Jason sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Then he waved her over to him.

“Come here,” he commanded. X walked forward, but then stopped at the foot of the bed, still avoiding his gaze.

She was out of the moonlight now, but she wasn't changing back. “You don't need to be in the moonlight to do that?”

“Only for the first transformation of the night,” she explained. “Then I can do it whenever I want. It only lasts for about twelve hours though. Then I'd need the moonlight again.”

She didn't seem to have a problem speaking around her fangs. Would he have trouble kissing her though? He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and gestured for her to get on his lap. “Come here.”

She curled her fingers around his shoulders nervously and straddled his lap. Jason placed his hands on her waist and took a moment to study her body. She was still as soft as she always was, still as warm. But wait. Was that a tail? His lips twitched as he ran his fingers along her silky fur. “You have a tail?”

“Mmhmm!” She nodded enthusiastically in confirmation, but her eyes were still wide with fear. And Jason couldn't help but let out a huff of amusement at the irony of the situation: there he'd been, terrified that she wouldn't accept him once she knew the truth about him, and now here she was, asking him to do the same. He glided the hand that wasn’t stroking her tail up her back and around her waist, checking to see if everything else was still the same. He reached up to cup her cheek in his hand when he was satisfied, then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. He kissed her slowly, cautiously, taking care to not cut his tongue on her fangs.

He was kissing her! He was really kissing her! But did that mean that he was okay with it? Or was he just testing it out? She pulled back slowly, then squeezed her arms to her chest, avoiding his gaze as she did so. “Are you … Are you okay with it? With me being a monster?”

Her voice was just a whisper as she said it, and she glanced up at him nervously. He tilted her face up to his and smiled. “We can be monsters together.”

X grinned as he repeated her words, and she started kissing him again, her movements a little hungrier, a little less careful this time. She pushed him down onto the bed and Jason chuckled at her eagerness. She looked so cute like this, her tail wagging with joy at his acceptance of her, her lips curled into that happy smile as she looked at him. She bent over to nip his earlobe and Jason sucked in a breath as she began trailing her teeth down his skin, a delighted growl escaping her throat everytime her fangs pricked him. He slid his hands beneath the hem of her shirt and crawled his fingers up her skin cautiously, and she sat up to let him take her shirt off.

Her skin almost seemed to glow beneath the moonlight, and he sucked in a breath at the sight before looking up at her in question. They’d had sex before, of course, but this was … different. This time, they'd expose all of themselves to each other, every ugly piece of them they both thought should be locked away forever. X curled her fingers around the hem of his shirt, taking care to not scratch him with her claws. Then she nodded.

He kept his eyes fixed on her chest as he took her bra off, then he licked his lips hungrily when she was bare before him. She was so f*cking beautiful; more now than she’d ever been before, so completely herself, so utterly unafraid. He turned them over so she was lying beneath him, then slowly slid off her jeans and underwear. Shit, she was hot: her smooth skin, her soft curves, her silky curls. He stood up to take his own clothes off, then knelt down on the floor, settling himself between her legs. He tugged her to him, pulling her knees onto her shoulders, then began pressing soft kisses to the insides of her thighs, his teeth closing around her flesh occasionally to tug on her skin.

She pushed herself to her hands, wanting to look at him, but then he was dragging his tongue up her length and closing his lips around her clit and her head was falling back in pleasure. Jason continued licking and sucking on her like he was trying to make out with her p*ssy and she shuddered as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter.

“Hngrh … J-Jay …” X twisted her claws into the bedsheet, her body trembling as he continued to arouse her.

F*ck, she was cute. The helpless little whimpers that kept escaping from her lips as he continued to eat her out slowly? It drove him crazy. “I guess the transformation doesn't affect your sensitivity, huh, sweetheart?”

He chuckled against her pulsing p*ssy and X let out a surprised yelp as her leg twitched in response. Jason ran his fingers up and down her thighs as he gave a low moan of satisfaction. “Mmm. You gonna come for me, princess? Already?”

He closed his lips around her folds and gently pulled them into his mouth before lazily dribbling his tongue along her length. F*ck, she tasted sweet.

He was so good, so gentle and slow, her Jason, always taking his time to appreciate the taste of her on his tongue. She shuddered as he let out another low moan and started moving her hips against his mouth to get him to go faster. But Jason pulled back instead and chuckled at her impatience. X growled at the sudden absence of his mouth and bared her teeth at him in a snarl. Jason flashed her a smug smirk as he stood up and leaned over her.

“You think I'm scared of you, princess?” he asked, gripping her chin tightly and turning her face up to his. “With those cute little puppy dog eyes of yours?” He snickered as she continued to glare at him, then he bent over to press a kiss to her lips.

X loosened her grip on the bed sheets when she felt his tongue brushing across hers. She'd always been a bit of an outcast within her pack: the male wolves would always go for someone bigger, stronger - a mate who would be able to give them many children and help them hunt for and look after the rest of the pack. It wasn't their fault - just a part of their DNA - but it didn't make it hurt any less. She gasped as Jason reached up to cup her breast, his mouth moving to trail along her neck and shoulder instead. But here was a man, big and strong and always ready to defend his pack, worshipping her body like she was some kind of angel he was blessed to be able to lay his hands upon. If only he could see himself in the same way; in the way she saw him. She steeled herself so her voice wouldn't shake when she next spoke. “Jason.”

“Hmm?” he grunted, continuing to trail his lips and hands all over her body. F*ck, she tasted so sweet.

He wasn't listening to her and she was starting to get a little frustrated at the smugness in his voice. So she grabbed him by the waist and flung him onto the bed.

“Whoa!” Jason exclaimed, caught off guard. Then he turned to grin at her. “How'd you do that?!”

X kept her face scrunched into a frown as she climbed on top of him and pinned his wrists against the bed. “It's my wolf strength. Now shut up!”

He stopped talking, but continued to smile at her, amused by how cute she still looked despite her wickedly sharp canines; she looked more like a puppy than a wolf, glaring down at him with her beautiful, round eyes. X huffed in irritation when she saw that he still wasn't taking her seriously.

“Tell me where it hurts, Jay,” she demanded. Jason shut his mouth and raised an eyebrow at her, his lips curling at the ends in teasing. X shoved him into the mattress in warning. “Jason!”

Jason lets out a little snicker. She was so powerful - a full-on wolf when she wanted to be! - and yet, she was still so vulnerable before him.

“What?” he finally relented. “What do you want me to tell you, princess?”

X began to hesitate, her resolve weakening as she contemplated what she wanted to ask of him. “I want … I want you to tell me … all the parts of you that you think aren't worth loving.”

His breath caught in his throat at that and he felt his heart skip a beat. “W-What?”

X let go of his wrists and sat back, taking a moment to assess his body. Her fingers trailed over all of his scars and bruises and she repeated herself, her tone more firm this time. “Tell me all the parts of you that you think aren't worth loving.”

Jason swallowed hard, his heart resuming its beating, but much faster this time. He shifted uncomfortably in position, so she curled up on his chest, her big dark eyes looking up at him as she held him down. He clenched and unclenched his fists, then turned away from her, ashamed.

“My mouth.” Something easy, he'd start with something easy. “Someone always gets hurt whenever I open it. I've always been told that I have a big mouth.” X smiled and crawled up over him to trace the curve of his lips with her finger.

“All the better to kiss with,” she joked. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him slowly, pouring all her affection into him. Then she pulled back. “What else?”

Jason's chest started heaving with shallow breaths as the anxiety began to creep in. He was going to do this, he was really going to do this: tear himself open and let her see all the vulnerable bits he tried so hard to hide. “M-My … My hands. All they do is take and take and take.”

X lifted his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his palm. Then she began listing all the things he'd taken from her, stopping to nip each of his fingers in between.

“They take my sadness. They take my pain. They take my loneliness. They take my tears. They take my hunger.” She placed his hand on her waist when she was done, then she took hold of his other one to do the same. “They take my sorrow. They take my fear. They take my nightmares. They take my ignorance. They take my insecurities.”

She placed his hand on the other side of her waist and continued. “What else?”

Jason swallowed hard, the pressure beginning to build up behind his eyes as he digested her words. How could she do that? How could she take all of his self-loathing, all of his hurt and his pain … and turn it into something so beautiful?

“My shoulders,” he choked out helplessly. “They're not strong enough to carry the weight of … of his expectations.” She lowered herself back on top of him and rubbed his shoulder gently, knowing exactly who he was talking about. She scratched his skin lightly with her claw, leaving a faint red line, then she smiled down at him, her eyes glowing in the dark again as she did so.

“They carry mine perfectly fine.” She bent over and sank her fangs into his shoulder, just enough to draw a surprised hiss out of him, but not enough to hurt him - he'd already had enough pain to last a lifetime. Longer, even. She bit him softly, then pulled back and began reciting all the expectations he'd taught her she was allowed to have of someone. “Brave.”

X moved her mouth higher up his shoulder and nipped his brawny muscle again.

“Sweet.” Nip. “Patient.” She moved to his other shoulder when she ran out of space.

“Thoughtful. Attentive. Generous.” She sat up again and fixed him with a challenging look. “Is there anything else?”

Jason tightened his grip on her waist and, this time, his voice cracked with pain when he spoke. “I'm broken. I'm so broken, X.”

X gave him a soft smile and traced one of the scars on his shoulder.

“You're not broken, Jace. You're all stitched up! Here.” She brushed her fingers down his scar, then moved on to another. “And here.”

She repeated the phrase, her fingers sliding along his skin, her claws outlining each of his hideous scars. Then when she was done, she bent over and nipped each of them, her fangs pricking his skin delightfully. She took hold of his cock when she reached his abdomen, curling her fingers around it and moving it aside. But then she began stroking him gently, her thumb rubbing across his slit as she dragged her fangs along the inside of his thighs.

“X …” Jason breathed, clutching onto the bed sheets as his arousal began to intensify. X raised her head to grin at him, her tail wagging happily behind her. Jason pushed himself up

“They're not scars anymore, Jay,” she told him, brushing her fingers across his rough skin tenderly. “They're all the places I've marked you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes glinting gold with mischief and glee. “You don't belong to Death anymore, Jason Todd - you belong to me.”

Jason reached up to cup her cheek and pull her closer to him so he could start kissing her. He kissed her hard, aggressive, licking into her mouth thirstily like she was the only thing that could soothe the aching emptiness inside of him. X giggled as she kissed him back, then she yelped in surprise when he pushed her down onto the bed beneath him. She gasped and twisted her fingers in his hair as he began pressing his lips and teeth all over her body, marking her like she'd marked him.

“I belong to you,” Jason recited feverishly, like the words were a prayer on his lips. “I'm yours. All yours, baby. All yours, X.” He squeezed her breast in his hand, then growled and nipped at the other before dragging his tongue across her nipple. X whimpered and curled her toes as her legs twitched with arousal. Then she let out a helpless moan when Jason sucked hard on her breast before releasing her with a wet ‘pop’.

“You like that?” he teased her, making his way down her abdomen, nibbling on her soft skin and leaving small bruises all over her body. “You like it when I mark you like this, princess? When I …” He trailed off as he reached her centre, her sweet little p*ssy blushing and dripping just for him. He growled again at the sight, then pushed his mouth into her folds and groaned at the taste of her before drinking her up.

“You're all mine,” he declared. “You're all mine, X, all mine, princess.”

She whimpered and moaned again as her walls began to throb with arousal, the intensity of it causing her body to contract hard. “J-Jason!”

“F*ck,” he breathed. He flipped her over and started licking her up from behind, his fingers digging into her ass to spread her apart as he dragged his tongue along her length. X twisted her fingers into the bedsheets, her claws ripping the soft fabric as she did so.

“Jay!” she squealed helplessly. Jason bit down on her ass, his teeth sinking into her skin delightfully, then he held her tail down so he could start making his way up her body.

“You're so perfect,” he murmured, his words slurred with desire. “So perfect, baby. So pretty, so f*cking pretty.”

She shuddered as he trailed his lips up her spine, her entire body so sensitive from how badly he'd stimulated her already. Then finally, he reached her neck and she found the strength to push herself up to shrug him off of her. He rolled over onto his back and she pounced on him quickly before he could get up.

He looked up at her, his eyes glazed over with lust, a dazed expression on his rugged features. He was so handsome when he was confused, when he was completely at her mercy like this.

“W-What?” he stammered out, puzzled. X placed her hands on his shoulders, then dragged them down his chest, her claws leaving a faint trail of pink down his torso. Jason sucked in a breath at the pleasant sting of it, then she turned around on top of him and settled her p*ssy over his mouth. Her tail flicked playfully at his nose as she took hold of his cock and began licking the insides of his thighs and he grabbed onto her ass instinctively, digging his fingers into her skin.

“F*ck!” He tried to continue eating her out again, to suck on her and lick her up and please her, but he was just too distracted by the feeling of her fingers teasing his tip to do anything besides pressing soft kisses along her length.

X fisted his cock as he suckled on her clit, her body giving a hard contraction that had her curling her back involuntarily. “Hngrh …”

She pushed her hips against his mouth and Jason let out a satisfied groan at the feeling. He started lapping at her folds, picking up the pace of his movements, and she whined.

“J-Jay … Stop …” He didn't listen, so she started running her tail across his face, stroking his cheeks and tickling him softly. Finally, he released her, his head falling back onto the mattress against his own will.

“F*ck!” he exclaimed. X continued to run her tail across his neck and shoulders as she began licking his cock, her silky fur brushing against his skin teasingly. Jason held his breath, overwhelmed by the feeling of her all over him; her tail around his neck, her c*m leaking onto his chest, her breasts pressing into his abdomen. He bucked his hips as she lowered her mouth onto his cock, pushing it deeper in so that his tip hit the back of her throat. X growled at the feeling and he muttered another curse when he felt the vibrations racing down his length to his core. X trailed her tongue up his length, tracing the veins in his shaft. Then she shook her head like he was a toy she was playing with and his hips lifted off the bed again as his dick slapped against the insides of her cheeks.

“F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!” Jason swore, his brain turning completely numb with pleasure. “X … Stop … Princess, I want …” She refused to listen to him, happily sucking on his cock as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her ass. He groaned and pulled her back, settling her hips back over his face. X yelped in surprise, then flopped over him and started whining again when he shoved his tongue straight into her hole.

“J-Jay!” He groaned against her and she shivered as his low voice sank into her skin and danced along her bones. Then she ripped herself away from him and turned around so that their centres were perfectly aligned. The both of them paused for a second, chests panting with shallow breaths as they took each other in. Then Jason took hold of himself and tugged her down onto him. She sucked in a breath when she felt all of him filling up all of her, then she threw her head back with pleasure and started riding him.

“H-Hold … Hold on, princess …” Jason's voice shook as he bounced against the bed with the force of her movements. But he eventually managed to push himself up and grab her by the waist to lift her up slightly. She growled and snapped at him with her fangs, but he just chuckled and held her in position.

“Calm down, princess,” he reassured her lazily. “Just tryna get comfortable.” He shuffled up the mattress to lean back against the headboard, then loosened his hold on her, allowing her to continue.

X began rolling her hips against him again, her movements hard and fast. Shit! He felt so good! His thick cock stuffing her completely, his swollen tip hitting that one spot that had her entire body relaxing with pleasure. She could feel a howl starting to build up deep inside of her; a call to her mate, a warning to mark her territory. But there were still some parts of her she was too ashamed to share with him, so she did her best to swallow it back down.

She kept whining and whimpering, like she was trying hard to silence herself. But he didn't want her to silence herself - he wanted her to let him in, to feel safe enough with him to let him see all of her. “What's wrong … princess?”

“H-H-Hooowl …” X winced as the urge continued to press against her throat.

“Y-You … You wanna howl?” Jason asked, another wave of desire hitting him as she made her eyes all round and sweet.

She nodded eagerly, her features still scrunched up in embarrassment. Jason tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You can howl if you want, princess.”

His voice was low and gravelly as he said it and she found herself unable to hold back anymore. She pushed him against the headboard and finally let out a shy and adorable little howl.

"F*ck.” How the f*ck was she so cute?! Jason buried his face in her breasts and glided his hands along her sides and up her back. He tugged on her nipple with his teeth then circled it with his tongue before sucking on her. X whined at the sensation and let out another soft howl as she continued to bounce on his cock. “Shit.”

Jason released her breast and his head fell back against the headboard as she slammed him against it again. X yipped happily when she saw the dazed look on his face, then she curled herself around him to nip at his ear. Jason winced and tightened his grip on her before letting out another curse. “F*ck!”

X giggled against his neck and slowed down a little, rolling her hips slower, but harder, against him. God, he felt good, thick and warm and filling her up so very nicely. She gripped onto his hair as her body shuddered, her p*ssy pulsing around him desperately as she came for him.

“F*ck.” Jason kept his arms around her as his entire body tightened, and then he was coming too, his c*m shooting into her cervix and coating her walls with his seed. X slumped over against him, her entire body relaxing at the feeling of his warm semen inside of her. Then she closed her eyes and took a moment to listen to his heartbeat, the steady sound of it soothing her. They stayed like that for a while, the both of them holding each other in silence. Then finally, “I love you.”

It was so soft that she almost didn't hear it at first. She transformed her ears and angled them towards him in question. Did he … Had he really said it? After months of her being the only one who would? Jason let out a small laugh, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head before repeating himself. “I love you, X.”

X sat up to grin at him, her tail wagging furiously behind her. “I love you too, Jay.”

[johnslittlespoon]

Okay but what I *really* need is Gale leaning on the bar at the pub, content with watching Bucky making a racket with the rest of the guys—when some drunk Englishman walks up to him and calls Bucky a dog (derogatory). Gale just loses it and smashes a glass against the side of his head. Bonus points if Bucky is looking over when it happens (because a good boy always has one eye trained on his owner). I lowkey just need more fics with Buck showing off a feral side to defend what’s his

DUDE the timing on this is crazy because i'm literally 600 words deep into a pub brawl scene in my dog coded fic lol. unfortunately gale won't be doing that in my scene because he's trying to keep the peace, but i LOVE the concept.

calm and collected, can take any jabs thrown his way, but as soon as someone starts pushing it with his boy? he doesn't let it fly.

i wonder if i can find a way to slip something like this into the fic in a later scene once their dynamic has changed up a bit because it would be such a great show of how protective (and possessive, but he wouldn't admit it) gale becomes over him as time goes on.

'because a good boy always has one eye trained on his owner' this is so perfect. where i'm at in my writing rn, he's very much an unruly dog attached to gale by an invisible leash, his little (big) shadow, but there's nothing actually tethering him and he doesn't know how to cope with emotions (and feelings for gale) and he lashes out and shows his teeth.

but once he and gale progress in their dynamic and grow closer and john realizes how much he aims to please gale (instead of it being an unconscious thing), he'd look to him before acting on impulses, like he's looking to him for leadership or a green light. a metaphorical 'clicker'. ughh my brain is rotting away over this dog coded shit lmfao

[f-imaginings]

i was gonna write a small comment on one of your posts then i realized how intense i had gotten into this text, i really hope this isnt too concerning to get such a lengthy message, so my genuine apologies for this😅🙏

okie first off— oh my word, i just might tear up over hearing you’re plotting a sequel haha🤧 despite that, i seriously can not for the life of me fully express just how tragically poetic KMKY is written. i CAN. NOT. stress that enough. truly.. like i literally tell myself & some fellas aaall the time how i so desperately NEED to get off my bum and write a looong meaningful essay over your work (and for canon gravity falls’ story lol). i don’t mean to get out of hand and ramble but really, the full on complexity of ford & bill’s dynamic (canon or au) plus with certain canon events being extended in your perspective is just..ughh woww!!😫 the way you articulate both ford & bill’s internal struggles with themselves and towards one another throughout the whole timeline of events and with how they really aren’t so different from each another. how they both strive for similar goals of ‘changing the world for the better. how they find strange solace in one another for being outcasts in their own societies. how (possibly) this is one of, if not the first time, bill had someone ACTUALLY fully accept and worship him back, regardless of his form. how they have endless conflicting thoughts and feelings constantly churning away in their brain, admitted or not. how bill is taking in every single new experience in a human vessel (an all-knowing immortal inter dimensional being is shown something NEW? by a mortal human being no less??? ohhh lord how i lose my mind over that, i could probably write an essay on that concept alone!🫡). and unfortunately, how both of their faults lead to ultimate consequences for anyone and everyone involved. goddamn, id be lying through my teeth if i said this fic hasn’t highly enlightened me wayy more for these troubled souls (canon or au). oh gosh i cant help but gush over this fic, ive reread it too many times to count. in all seriousness, your work has changed me very deeply 🫣💛

It is not at all concerning I'm delighted to get such a long thought out lovely ask about the fic!

I'm so glad it's brought you lots of joy and that you've had fun with how complex the characters get to be. I am sure you can tell haha but I love all the characters of Gravity Falls and want to do them justice, so the fact that people are vibing with how they're portrayed in my fic makes me very happy.

Ford and Bill are so similar and the story is littered with about a billion narrative foils to reinforce the themes of the fic. In the latest chapter I'm working on rn Ford's narrative foils in particular are a lot of fun to explore (Stanley obviously, and Dipper and Mabel too, but he's had a few narrative foils, like Antelias's worshipper Ingénue and Sandeep) but Bill gets some fun ones too (Zippy, Mabel, Pyronica) and as the main pairing their circumstances always revolve around the other.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about the sequel tbh. My notes app on my phone is full of plot points for it that will hopefully A) make y'all laugh a bunch (they made me laugh a lot so hopefully) B) tie up any loose threads from KMKY (though I don't plan on leaving a lot of them floating in the ether) and C) hopefully be a believable journey to a sort of redemption that won't feel forced for any of the characters. I want you all to believe that this is the logical progression for things if the circumstance in the sequel actually came to pass, I want it to be like that feeling of dawning realisation, accountability and wonder, that things really can change, so the readers can feel all the story beats that the characters feel when it happens. I want it to untangle the conflicted feelings they would all be left with by the end of KMKY. I know that through the course of KMKY they've all developed into their own versions of the characters in the show, but hopefully they're still recognisable to show fans. I'd want people to be able to read the fic and go 'yep that's them' even if they haven't read all 1 million words of KMKY haha. Anyway I can't ramble too much bc I don't want to spoil anything for y'all but I can promise it will be good.

Thank you for enjoying the fic so much and sticking it out with me. The encouragement you provide helps me write and put out my best work (because I want to impress everyone who enjoyed the fic and believed in me as a writer) so best believe that there will be some enthusiastic dedications next chapter in the authors notes.

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Mexico 2021

-This track has been very good to Lewis. Didn’t he win a championship here once?

-Well actually there was one year where he fell to the very back and struggled, but for the most part, this track is good to him (I think that was 2019? Or 18?) (Oh it was, 2017)

-Red Bull second row lockout!

-Mercedes to FIA: “Michael this is not on, look how slow they’re going- both Alphas!” Not even one lap done, and we’re already complaining

-“Perez pulls to the inside, Verstappen to the outside” That is so hot of them

-“Verstappen is in the lead!” How???

-Pierre??? How did you get here??

-“He got the tow, he got the slip stream, he got the lead” * and the crowd goes wild *

-That start sucked for Valterri and Daniel

-Yuki and Mick are out :/

-Safety car

-Didn’t Yuki DNF at Mexico in ‘24 too

-The way at the start three cars were side by side- my god

-Ughh safety car restarts stress me out

-Both Alphas in the points 🎶🎶

-“They left him the racing line and the neat acute angle, they gave him a gift” Hehe the way that was said was hilarious

-Oh thank god, that was a good restart

-Kimi Raikonnen p9!

-Max being told to take it easy and him doing fastest lap after fastest lap- where have I seen that before?

-“Charles Leclerc has been given the hurry because Sainz has come on the radio to say I’m quicker” It’s too early in the race to pull team orders man

-“Max will be told off shortly for going too fast”

-“Since the safety car came out, the positions of the top five have remained unchanged”

-Some of the other teams have pit though

-The only one I care about is Kimi

-LH: “Can’t pull away from him”

-That’s because he’s currently being fueled by home race fire

-“He’s getting close on this one, but still Ricciardo that bit later in the breaks” Daniel defense masterclass>>

-“Seven world champions between Kimi Raikkonen, Sebastian Vettel and Fernando Alonso ahead of him” I’d just let this one go

-Ah Mercedes pulling the pit stop plug

-Charlesss

-Ah never mind, he’s boxing now

-MV: “Yeah just keep checking how much he gains on that new set”

-“That was very neat for Ferrari crew”

-And now not only does Lando have to fight seven championships, but also Charles

-Good stop for Kimi, let’s go!

-“Races can be won or lost in the pits as well” Not today

-“A Mexican driver has never led a lap in their home race” Go Checo go!!

-SP: “Get Max to hold him back”

-To SP: “Plan A+5”

-“The crowd are on their feet, willing him a speedy stop” And he’s got one!

-LH: “Let me know where they’re quicker man. Where Verstappen’s quicker”

-As the season progresses, they get more and more involved in the other’s strategies

-“Can Red Bull make it a one two finish?” We can hope

-“Pierre Gasly- is having a very Pierre Gasly race where there’s no one running in front of him ahead and there’s one running behind. He’s running comfortably in fourth” It always throws me off how good the AlphaTauri was this season

-MV: “Can you keep an eye on my left front tire when compared to others?”

-Lando behind the three champions again, but he’s on the freshest tires of everyone now, so he might get past

-“More penalties on the grid than any other driver in 2021” Valterri?

-MV: “How far is Checo behind Lewis?”

-The Red Bull teammates are moving me

-“I just love this fight for sixth, seventh and eighth because it’s got three of my favorite drivers” Is one of them Kimi? Because yes, me too

-LH: “You guys still there?” Hehe

-Are we really only one-stopping?

-Ferrari listening to me and pulling team orders three quarter ways into the race

-“Now Carlos Sainz is released- to chase after Pierre Gasly” Pierre however, is 12s away

-To SP: “Breaks? Breaks are good. Tires- tires are good. All good.”

SP: “Engine? Engine is good?” Haha I love him

-Checo closed that gap down so so fast

-Come on come on come on

-“If there was a roof on that stage, they’d blow it off, quite frankly, with the amount of noise that they’re making”

-Checo! Checo! Checo!

-Forgot about Max in all this and he’s extended his lead by 17s- crazy

-Aaah Checo come on!!

-To LN: “Lets stay with them now, benefit for when they go on the long runs”

LN: “Yeah, that’s obvious”

-“Will Mercedes pit Bottas now?” Just leave him alone man, he’s been trying to fight Daniel this whole race. He doesn’t have time to go for the fastest lap too

-Sigh, Mercedes never listens to me

-Two more laps

-Areee you kidding me?! They pit Valterri again!

-Please please please, Checo come on!!

-“And that I believe is game over” Kill me

-Still p3 though! I’ll take it!

-“Max Verstappen crosses the line a long long way clear from the rest”

-SP: “Thank you guys. I’m so happy we won in my country! Now time for some tequila!”

-Him holding the flag?? With his dad?? And son?? And Max????

-I’m tearing up. Bring him back!

[dripsoupp]

omgomgomg the second to last chapter of “Monday morning, Saturday night” has been updated!!

3/4 CHAPTERS

SUMMARY:

“Secret admirers weren’t something new to him, Jackson knew he was somewhat popular with girls. Even guys. But this dedication was on a whole different level.

A weekly love letter shoved into his locker before the school day started had to be more than a simple crush on him, right?”

TAGS:

Exer Campbell/Jackson Smith, Love letters, Misunderstandings, Jexer endgame, 12k current words, Work in progress, 4 chapters

😭😭 MY FIRST JEXER FANFIC IS ABT TO END! so i’m here to promote my UPCOMING FIC called “From 1990 to 1989” i knowwww, title is so creative 😵‍💫

ANYWAY-

SUMMARY:

“The day Exer turned 19 is when it all went bad. Real fucking bad.

An earthquake set forth the catastrophe. No one in town thought anything of it, as they had become more and more used to their frequentness thanks to Exer’s little…accidents.

Okay, putting it that way makes it sound as if the boy still wets his pants. A better word would be ‘outbursts’.

Anyway, not the point.

Even Jackson didn’t freak out during the first few minutes of the trembling. He knew Exer had a good support group and it would all calm down in due time.

“…”

It didn’t.”

TAGS:

Exer Campbell/Jackson Smith, Time travel, Angst, Unhealthy coping mechanism, Self sabotage, Violence, Eventual happy ending, have i mentioned angst?? LMAO, minor background relationships, Work in progress, only first chapter is currently complete, this is gonna be my longest work to date, first chapter is literally 16k words (this might change as i have YET to edit that monster), and i’ll stop here before i spoil something.

YES! this work has a playlist too, NO! i will not put it up until i’m at least halfway done with the fic, bc i’m a bitch like that :)

HERE IS THE PLAYLIST COVER THO!!! SO BEAUTIFUL UGHH

[reginalusus]

just finished reading bruce wayne must die.. i feel so melancholy, like the journey of harvey and jason together; finding clues about bruce, the progress of their relationship growing.. jason slowly seeing a dad in harvey, harvey's dad instincts waking up from slumber(YEAAAH), the anger and pain jason feels to bruce, chapter 16(CRYING), chapter 17(CRYING but smiling), the aux cord. THE AUX CORD!! like UGHH I'm so happy and sad but also hopeful for these silly guys. and kudos to harvey for finally avenging jason, you're already doing a good job as a dad. keep on the good work, harv! fr you and this fic have singlehandedly converted me into supporting dad harvey and his son jason agenda. i need more... moorrreee!!! and lastly, thank you for writing this beautiful and amazing fanfic. your writing is very clear and not too detailed to the point it gets bothersome. love love the different fonts for harvey and his friend. if you're writing another adventure of them together, you can count on me to be the first one to read it :D

ONE OF US, ONE OF US-

YEAH, DAD HARV. YEAH, AUX CORD. YEAHHH. I'm glad you liked all of those things! I'm glad you liked the writing itself, that's an important part too, you know?

I was in a really weird mindset tonight but reading this cheered me up, it's such an incredibly kind comment, thank you dearly. <3

[willkimurashat]

I'm launching operation Make Luna a Love Interest. WLW deserve better than the crumbs that Fusebox has been throwing our way for the past four seasons. WoC deserve better than another Hope/Arlo/Willow. Straight players can romance almost every single male character and they know what routes they'd be able to unlock as the story progresses. LGBT players shouldn't have to guess whether a female character is an endgame LI or not. The least FB can do for us is to tell us which female characters can't be romanced the way they did with Seb and Nicky. I'd invite everyone who wants to join to bombard Fusebox with Luna love under their Instagram and twitter posts. I'd appreciate any support from straight allies. I know black female characters don't get as much fan support, but I hope I can get a shout from the accounts that I stan.

Hi anon! Sorry to miss your ask!!

But no, I totally get you, love, us queer players are fighting for our life here because wlw routes are basically an afterthought. Women li’s don’t have any distinct personality from the men li’s - all that changes is just the sprite, basically. Fusebox hasn’t had a good wlw route since Angie imo, and even then, why are these routes blocked by some weird machinations we have to do while picking which choices we want mc to say? Like, I legit didn’t know Elisa was an li because I never unlocked her route. And yes, characters of color are continuously being made as villains, which just makes me UGHH GRRRR FLAMES FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY HEAD😫😞

I got so excited when they revealed Luna because she is one of the most beautiful islanders they’ve ever released imho😍 but based in her application I knew she’d 99% would be straight. She’s already gone from my game because I went for Jin and she had close to no personality which is also very sad and frustrating - they just made her a placeholder...

I completely agree with your points and I would love fusebox to do better, but I genuinely don’t think they’d listen. Personally, I’m a little burnt out with them never listening to our criticisms/reading survey responses/giving the fans what they want. Season after season after season it’s the same thing over and over again. They take some feedback in from the players, but let’s not forget how they made a discord to “keep in touch with their fans” and then when s5 ended and people had THOUGHTS they deleted it lol. Sadly, they’re just a company looking for an easy cash grab:( That’s just my, albeit pessimistic opinion, but if any of you do wanna bombard their social media - please do. I’ll be over here cheering you on and doing my part by mayhaps fixing the poorly written characters in my fics💕

[wri0thesley]

dentist/teeth/phobias/etc (this is mostly just ranting and complaining so i can get it out u do not need to read it)

ughh i need a dentist so bad bc i've been having so many issues with me teeth but idr if i've mentioned this before but i have a like. debilitating phobia of the dentist and teeth stuff and havent been to one since i was about thirteen. consequently my teeth are fucking awful (my absolute worst insecurity) but i've been having Many Issues recently (*fun fact also: when my ocd was at its worst 'teeth need brushing bad teeth feel' was one of my worst compulsions so i'd brush them like 10+ times a night which uhh. i assume was not great for them) and with the wedding coming up i gathered up all of my courage and emailed dentists (now i have an autism diagnosis that helps too with finding ones that can help n have experience with autism and mental health and phobias). i qualify for dental help on the nhs bc of being poor and a carer--

unfortunately every fucking dentist i've emailed (feels like 20+ at this point) has been full for nhs patients or had eight year long waiting lists or thousands of people on them. all of them have been like 'yeah we can help but you have to pay privately! :)'. and i KNOW that my teeth will need a lot of fucking work and although i could probably with difficulty afford the first checkup/initial consultation i think my teeth are easily like 10k+ of work (maybe more bc idk if they'll charge me if i go and chicken out and have to go back! i CANNOT overexpress how fucking terrified i am of the dentist!!! i was like sobbing having panic attacks sending these emails!!!).

anyway. i just need to rant. the uk is lucky we have the nhs but nhs dentistry is at an all-time fucking low and i know i should be proud i even managed to send an email (thats progress!) but its hard to be when i am like 'oh i am going to have lost all of my teeth by the time i am thirty' lmao.

[sudusong]

My Atcham Playlist - explained

Another self-indulgent post going into details on why I picked certain songs for my second playlist. There are a lot more dark themes in this than in the Kerubim playlist, imo, so be aware.

CHILDHOOD/ADOLESCENCE PART:

1. Kikuo - You're a Useless Child

A subtle reference to the fact that Ecaflip is a bad father. Also to the fact that "the Good Child and the Fox Spirit" is in my Kerubim playlist.

2. Regina Spektor - Two Birds

As I said in my other playlist explanation (this, and 1-3 other songs are shared between the playlist, so I'll just copy the explanations): "I chose this song because,,, I like to think that Atcham and Kerubim had very different visions if their lives and futures, when they were kids. And Ecaflip's manipulation didn't really help."

3. Abuseken - Moths and Mayflies

A very sad, yet vague song, the overarching theme of which seems to be self-hatred, and being abused for the way you look even by your loved ones. There are also some lyrics pertaining to religion, which is common in Abuseken's songs and fits the fact that Atcham (and Kerubim)'s familial situation is uhh., hellnightmare.

"If you're loved despite your looks, that's family. Yes, that's love."

4. Sohta - I saw the moon

If this isn't in your playlist of "two characters who love each other but one of them is being left behind in their shadow" type relationships I don't even know what to say.

It's a very soft and loving song, which is rare for this playlist. I do think that when they were kids Atcham loved Kerubim a lot, and even after he still loved him their whole lives in some weird insane way. But this song is about that soft type of love that was still real before Atcham became embittered, but already knew they were going in different directions and feeling jealousy. Siblingism level lethal.

5. weevildoing - Disposable Girl

This playlist includes a cover because I just like how it sounds sfdgsdfg.

Anyway to explain why this song is on this playlist in the easiest way possible:

Folks you may or may not realize it, but I do headcanon Atcham to have been heavily abused in the orphanage so ughh yeah this isn't a happy playlist sfjgsdfg. Not that Kerubim's was happy.

Also, a lot of the lyrics are concerned with feeling jealous of even the harassment and abuse people who are prettier may receive for being "attractive" and I think Atcham is both mentally ill and yet self aware enough to know that whatever Ecaflip is doing to Kerubim is abusive, AND that he wants to be treated the same way.

At this moment of the playlist's timeline, Atcham doesn't yet hate Kerubim, and has not yet adopted "fuck everyone, I ball" mentality of killing anyone who doesn't like him, so there isn't much he's doing to cope with The Horrors.

6. weevildoing - i want a lobotomy

This is a vent song by weevildoing and 1. it's a bit of a bop, 2. it fits the theme of Atcham's slipping mental health well. I think it shows a very good steady decline going on, with the songs getting progressively darker.

7. GHOST - Человек (Chelovek)

The only words said in the entire song are "I WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING"

This is a very raw and angry sound, and in a way I think it expresses that while Atcham is getting more mentally ill, there is something else happening: "This isn't fair."

Which I think that's a very major life-changing realization for kids who have been abused since a very young age to go through.

8. Amanda Palmer - The Killing Type

Another big song for his character arc in this playlist, showing the development of a certain kind of blood thirst.

"I couldn't kill to save a life,

I'd rather die a peaceful piece of shit, bait, shame-filled coward, thanks,

I'm not the killing type —

but I would kill to make you feel.

I don't mean kill someone for real!"

I also think that at this point he still wants to have a good relationship with Kerubim, who is actively avoiding him for his social reputation + for Ecaflip to like him more. And Atcham would really like Kerubim to feel some sympathy for him.

But also he does want to beat the shit out of him. And many other people. There is a lot of repressed rage about to come out.

9. Abuseken - Um, Ren-kun?

Another shared song with the Kerubim playlist: "This is a special type of song I add to playlists - a "vibe-builder". This song might not fit a character, but it expresses story ideas of Kerubim and Atcham being badddd to each other, because the entire song is two people going "I'm going to kms because you don't love me" "Good I think you should in fact kys" at one another, which is entirely how I think they talked to each other at the tail end of still being on talking terms when they were kids."

10. Pinocchio-P - Isn't it "A"

Another shared song with the Kerubim playlist: "The last song is very "Kerubim and Atcham" /neg, while this one portrays a conflict between two people in a less mentally ill way, exploring that neither is right and that both are looking at the world with different opinions that may or may not be the same opinion viewed in a different light. I thought it might be important to use this song to reiterate my belief that in this situation, there is no right or wrong side."

11. NILFRUITS - Arandano

This song is literally "you bullied me into wanting to hurt and maim people bc nobody ever helped me. And 'm like... really passionate about hurting and maiming even as an adult now. so who's the loser, pussy?"

12. Abuseken - Iesu

A very vibe-based song with many interpretations ngl. The way the Abuseken has explained it in a very literal way is: "it's about a girl who sacrifices her sister to some higher power, maybe a god, to get back her leg."

But there are many ways one can interpret it in a Deeper way: It's about religious trauma. It's about hating your body and feeling jealousy of others. It's about wanting someone else to take your place and suffer instead. It's about adolescence and puberty and discovering you are into some things that make you feel like a pervert and a horrible person. AND this song is about wanting to kill your sister. This song has Multitudes.

(A lot of Abuseken's songs are about being queer, religion, self-discovery, sexuality, abuse, shame, and trauma — big recommendation in general. The songs by this person are way too obscure.)

I think this song, compared to "The Killing Type" shows a bit of a slippage into freakdom. He IS the killing type and isn't in denial about it anymore, even if there is shame.

13. Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #2 (Laika)

When I finally finish my Atcham fic, I will name it after this song. In the context of this playlist, it's about the sadness that comes from hating your brother who abandoned you, whom you used to love.

14. Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks

Yes, the mass murder song from The Memes.

My playlist has the somber synthwave cover. (I really like the cold detachment of the singer in the synthwave cover. )

I like to think that the reason Atcham left the orphanage is related to him becoming dangerous/violent towards other kids, and this song explores the themes of abuse and poverty that might push someone to want to do this to other kids.

15. Dobuno Awa - The Bad Taste From Leaving Things To Others

This song seems like a horror one, but after listening to it multiple times my personal interpretation boils down to "someone trying to break up despite seething and coping with anger trying NOT to tell the person they're breaking up with "kys" and "im gonna kms"."

I think that after Kerubim stopped being friends with him and Atcham grew to hate him, Atcham either had a whole speech guilting him and saying that their brotherly friendship is Over and Done, and why it's over and done, exactly, and how Kerubim is a terrible person, but it's ok — despite very clearly seething; OR Atcham tried to attack him, and it made Ecaflip boot him from the orphanage.

Basically: it's a song about trying to mask the depth of your despair and anger at someone, at the end of a relationship.

16. Shitoo - Nonsensical Noise

I don't post about it often, but I do think that while he was a kid/teen, Atcham was probably suicidal and doing SH.

This song is about being exactly those two thing, but finding the meaning of life in something other than approval of others or relationships, and surviving using whatever method it takes. It's both very nihilistic, and very powerful in terms of "life is meaningless, and your death would mean nothing. And you should live anyway in a world like this."

In this playlist, it reflects the transition Atcham undergoes from "active suicide risk" to "well, dying means that The Haters win and I need to kill them first + life is worth living because of my swords, and tasty meals, and warm bed"

17. attwn park - Mime

A bit of a vibe-building song. It doesn't mean Atcham the best, but it does reflect a deep sense of betrayal at some person, and coming to terms with it in a less emotional way — going from the screamy, sad vocals of Laika to a more cold "you never even looked at me, did you? And yet you talk of love in your lyrics..."

18. Nine Inch Nails - Somewhat Damaged

(The version in my playlist is my favorite live performance of this song because Trent Reznor screams in this version more and sexier. Anyway.)

The next level of Atcham's Kerubim Hater progression. He IS into killing people now, and he DOES hate Kerubim, and he thinks himself as stupid for not getting to this stage faster.

19. K.Flay - Hustler

While the last song illustrates him getting the biggest level up in Kerubim haterdom ever, I do feel the need to musically reiterate that, despite everything, he does, sadly, still love Kerubim in some way. So, a sad song it is. Especially with the song's Gambling allusions being very ecaflippy.

The reason this is important to me is that both Aux Tresors and the Movie imply that Atcham is a very self-aware person about his emotions and relationship with Kerubim — and just chooses to do this insane shit anyway. Like he says, "I need someone to blame (even though I know he isn't at fault)."

20. The Buttress - Brutus

I don't even know how to explain the level of insanity this song makes me feel so you should just listen to it.

I think this song is good for illustrating the love Atcham had left going in the "I need to kill him. So bad. I need to make him into a fucking coat." direction, finally, as a concrete decision.

ADULTHOOD PART:

21. K.Flay - Hollywood Forever

The transition between "he's in orphanage" and "he's in brakmar going through horrors" is very fluid and nonexistent in the childhood/adolescence part of the playlist, because ngl, he wasn't having fun in either of the situations. But this song marks a stark shift, in a way.

This song is to me, Atcham's adult self finally shining through. This song is about losing oneself and it's so giddy about it. He finds a sort of happiness in a situation that is bad, because it's still better than what it used to be. Going from being a loser, to hiding behind a persona of someone dangerous.

22. Vundabar - Alien Blues

Like a lot of songs on this playlist, this has some themes of dehumanization and body dysmorphia, but is more focused on themes of isolation. I don't think Atcham has any friends closer than "drinking buddies", even if he's doing better than ever. Because trusting people is scary.

23. K.Flay - You Felt Right

This song is about a bad relationship, and reminiscing. I think that Atcham has had some romatnic and platonic relationships in his life, — but a lot of people just took advantage of him (he's in Brakmar, for god's sake 😞), or liked him just because he seemed very mentally ill and ~weird looking~

It's also about feeling a sense of power and being able to advocate for yourself.

(And yeah, Kerubim is also included in the long list of "people who took advantage of Atcham's trust" type relationships. I really think he spent weeks or months trying to gaslight him into believing there was no rift between them and that he wasn't avoiding or abandoning him, while badmouthing him behind his back.)

24. K.Flay - Champagne

While Kerubim's playlist is FULL of songs about trying to numb pain using substances and relationships, I think Atcham also used this to cope — to a somewhat lesser degree.

What I like about this song is how slow it starts out, and how by the end it's going at breakneck speed as K.Flay screams the lyrics out while choking on her breath.

I think that unlike Kerubim, who numbs himself habitually and is kinda sadly successful at it, Atcham's thoughts are very loud and he can't escape or numb it, even though sometimes he tries. And unlike Kerubim, the literal first song about substance abuse on his playlist states outright "I need something to make me feel nothing" instead of hiding behind anything else.

25. Mother Mother - Oh Ana

There are a lot of lyrics about fake divinity and playng god, as well as gambling which is so good. Also, there is SH in this song, which is also very Atchamcore.

"Ana" that is being sang about is, hehe, an idealized, soft view of Kerubim that he still can't let go of.

26. Modest Mouse - March Into The Sea

It's about being mistreated and treated like garbage, it's about a one-sided relationship, it's about begging for it to end or to get better. I don't even know how to explain it without making a wholeass animatic. While lyrics like "well, treat me like the sea, oh-so salty and mean, ahaha! Well treat me like disease, like the rats and the fleas" and "Well discard whom you please, like the leaves off a tree!" are very Atcham-core, especially @ Kerubim, something that makes me go insane every time is this:

(foams at mouth) He feels like this about having a good relationship. I think he still feels this way by Waven times. His attachment style is soooo fearful-avoidant. It's crazy. I think being loved with no ulterior motive or judgement feels like drowning to him.

Basically, I think this song is a certified "Atcham Yearning For A Good Relationship" beat.

27. GHOST - SCAPEG8AT

This song is so Atchamcore in a positive and self-confident way, it's fucking crazy. A lot of earlier songs are insecure, or self-hating. Just look at "Disposable Girl"

While this...

This is a very good song about finding self-confidence after abuse. I think this is the view of himself Atcham takes on his most mentally well days ngl. Good for him!

28. Ferry - слова (words)

I'm pretty sure this song is about inter-sibling hatred, folks. And this one is very self-aware (Atcham self-awareness agenda is important to me).

"you're shitfaced

maybe you miss dad

but i don't

barely swallowing smoke, you make a joke

it's not funny at all

it's so easy to wish death upon you

it's so easy to wish you harm

it's so easy,

but those are just words"

29. Andrew Jackson Jihad - Brave As a Noun

Compares mass murder and making amends with loved ones to similar level of emotional difficulty. Despite everything, I do think Atcham is a coward. Which is why he'd rather kill Kerubim than try and like, talk, despite knowing it is an option.

It takes a singular very angry 10 year old child to talk some sense into him.

30. SODIKKEN - Gretel

It is a mirror of the song "Hansel" by SODDIKEN which is on Kerubim's playlist. It is pretty much abut being treated like a freak because of your looks, and having no friends, and even your family being your enemies.

It's also a very soft, honest, and kind song about how much this Sucks. (as kind as "when you die and go to hell, give my brother a big smother-hug, ok? ❤" can be, lyrics-wise, fhdgjsdfg), which is a rarity for this playlist.

I like soft Atcham moments. Gives him a bit of a gap moe.

31. DECO*27 & Pinocchio-P - (Not) a Devil

Another shared song with the Kerubim playlist: "The version in my playlist is a cover, because I think the subs there are beautiful than the subs on the official upload of the song.

I think "angel who is being choked by purity and trying to appear better" and "demon who is trying to appear angelic" is a very good aesthetic for Kerubim and Atcham. Two opposites that are more similar than one might think.

I think this kinda fits because after the divorce and growing old, Kerubim and Atcham start actively beefing again due to going to a war AND due to Atcham trying to kill him in Astrub."

32. Maretu - Pink

The version on my playlist is Micchi's english cover which is sooo good.

It's violent, it's about thinking you're punishing bad guys and doing good things by hurting people, and it is also vaguely kind of intensely Enthusiastic and Passionate about the whole killing people thing. Very Atchamcore.

33. Pinocchio-P - God-ish

In Japanese, saying that something is godlike is a common way to praise someone, and this song is heavily satirizing trends and online culture.

I think this fits with some of deeper thoughts Atcham might have on the way people look up at heroes like Kerubim; at their demigodhood; and his self-awareness of the fact that he's a hater and hates his brother for reasons that are as shallow as the reasons for which people like him for. And that in a way, both he, and those people, deify Kerubim.

34. Vane - BUTCHER VANITY

I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY I'M CRAZY IM CRAZY

He loves his brother a lot.

"To not forgibe you, rigor mortis, mold and mildew" <- soooo atcham's feelings on their childhood conflict coded.

35. Vane - higanbana milk tea

Another good Kerubim & Atcham song. Such a good hater song for one's family members. One thing I really like and think about a lot if how little of a shit Atcham gives about Kerubim dying for the first time. "Aww man you took my kill. Oh well" level reaction, which really fits this songs "Eh, I'm just glad you're fucking dead XD" lyrics. (Yes we're entering the Dofus Movie part of this chronological playlist.)

36. VocaCircus - Déjà Vu

Another song shared with the Kerubim playlist: "A song about cyclical relationships. I think it fits Kerubim and Atcham well, esp with them meeting once again in the movie. (Albeit not for long…)"

37. weevildoing - Splitter Girl

In my opinion, the entire playlist builds to this. It is an ultimate Atcham character song. There is no other song to me that describes him better.

In part, this song is so late in the playlist because it serves as a good book end, collecting everything that makes Atcham himself in it.

A prideful front; deification of violence; self-harm being refered to as something sweet but not enough to satisfy the urge to hurt people; and the reluctant admittance that at the center of fetishization of hurting people is a principle of "BEFORE THEY DO IT TO ME AGAIN"

Another reason this song is so late in the playlist is my most favorite thing about this song: It is actually a perfect Atcham&Joris song, especially in the context of the movie.

38. koyori - Solitary Hide-and-Seek

(putting on tinfoil hat) Continuing the theme of "songs that make me insane if I think about them in the terms of Atcham's character development in the movie" — I'M CRAZY GRRR. Atcham is an unwanted child. And this entire song is a child that is unloved trying to entertain herself, before seeing a child she is envious of — realizing that it is who her parents wish they had. And Atcham knowssss that Ecaflip and literally everyone else likes Kerubim more and that not much of value would be lost if he was never born.

And the dream sequence where she plays with how she imagines her parents to have been as kids — such a moment of yearning and innocence immediately after something so fucking insaneee. I think at his core, behind all "i need to make kerubim into a coat" what Atcham would like the most is something simple and happy. Like, haha. Hide-and-Seek.

and after this whole character study of "man nobody likes me for real. i wish i could be happy with people i love but who don't love me. there's always someone they would prefer to me", comes this song's ending, where the child finally gets love and it's described that feeling as so warm that it's hurting to hold in your hands.

So, my psionic crepinjurgenite warriors, imagine post-death kitten Atcham being hugged by Joris and groomed by Kerubim and his reaction being "[freezes up and tears up before running away]"

39. attwn park - Piñata and I

IM INSANE IM CRAZZZYYYY INSANE ASYLUM.

This is the second runner up for "the most important Atcham character song in this entire playlist" which is why I am also linking it.

Unlike Splitter Girl, it's not about violence. It's about like, 20-40 other very important atchamcore things: loss of family and self-loathing and other-people loathing.

The PV includes a lot of people who have picture frames for their heads, and at times all of these people have mourning bands on them, pointing to the fact that protag's family is dead. Atcham and Kerubim's entire family, which is implied to be Very Big, is also literally dead.

The song starts out with the protagonist buying herself a cake to celebrate her birthday, "bought to make herself feel better". She thinks on her struggles fitting in, being a bad adult, "I just want to be loved as I am"

"He's become an adult who's thrown away his dignity, name, and logic — But do you even want to see me as a human being as it is?" <- ATCHAMCORE LYRIC. People dehumanize him for the things he does, but does he owe others "good behaviour" just to be treated as a human being?

The solution the protagonist has is reminiscence, self-hatred, and memories of beating a pinata, and trying to turn back time. Atcham's solution is pretty much the same, except instead of beating up a pinata he wants to make a coat out of his brother. The song asks a very logical question about this sort of coping mechanism: "Are you truly satisfied with this?"

What drives me even more insaner is the praying segment. "Grant them eternal rest, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them." because I do think that between the two of them, Atcham is the one who is more dead-family focused (because Kerubim never allows himself to think about sad shit)

This song's ending perfectly describes Atcham's death in the movie, to me, and how it feels emotionally:

"My today is the tomorrow that the person who died yesterday longed for."

40. Hanyuu Maigo - Aun Beats

Another song shared with the Kerubim playlist: "Listening to this song and thinking about Atcham dying in Kerubim and Joris’s arms in the movie is just as emotionally devastating as listening to this song and thinking about the 48487538 years of separation between Qilby and Shinonome, or The Situation between Nora and Efrim.

This song has done a lot for doomed siblings economy, despite not being about siblings and instead the concept of doom itself."

Also I guess I'll take this moment to elaborate a lil: "I want you to forgive me" <- maddening; "I really wanted to go back earlier, but now is okay too" <- maddening; "We were going to be together forever... Don't worry, it's a wonderful end for us both" <- maddening; "I wanted to hear those words from you" <- maddening.

To me this is a certified "we wasted 70-90 years of our lives on beefind and hating each other. All those years that we could have been having a normal relationship. All those years we could have shared. Wasted. Even if we're immortal we'll never get that normal relationship we could have had when we were in the mortal age-range back." kerubim&atcham beat.

41. 4o / TadanoCo - Dear Me

I have a disease that makes me add this song to playlists of characters who were bullied as kids, or were in other violently abusive situations. It's very easy to lose posession of even your own self worth after that, and I really like how this song explores that.

It's a very realistic song about healing, basically. My crazy opinion is that 1. Atcham will never be normal (good), 2. he sometimes gets downright sick while thinking about everything that happened but it's alright. he has people who love him. And he will just sleep it off.

42. Faded Paper Figures - Relatively

Song shared with both Kerubim AND Joris playlists: "A general crepinjurgen-core song that touches on the theme of their relationship lasting forever."

[loveharlow]

i admire u sm, you don’t even knowww girl. First of all, 4 graduating!!! I fr feel like a proud mum, well done 🎓!!! That’s such a huge accomplishment. Secondly, ur writing & immense attention to detail and plot points- impeccable. Svn is constantly on my mind.

I’m just rambling on ab life here, so I apologise in advance for the waffling below, but basically- my one aspiration in life is to become a singer-songwriter/performer. Ever since I was little, it’s been my dream: on Monday, I sing, on Tuesday, I sing, and on Wednesday, I sing some more- I hold so much passion for singing. In the next 5 years of my life, I want to have recorded a country-pop album alongside a talented producer. I write songs/come up with loose ideas for songs as frequently as possible, and I have both a vocal coach who I’ve been seeing for 5yrs,& additionally, a singing teacher who I’ve just begun lessons with. My VC has been giving me tips on songwriting and stuff, which is brilliant, n I also have some musical theatre singing exams July 6th! 🤞

But in regards to songwriting, I struggle to conjure up differentiating song topics- they’re always the same subjects, which is rlly boring icl! And because of that, the lyrics I write are also incredibly repetitive across the board, as they all speak of the same topics. Now, I THINK I’m making slow progress with my songwriting skills, which is awesome, but I can’t for the life of me come up with song topics that are true and from the heart, as well as differentiating.

SO sorry for rambling on like this ml!! I j needed someone to talk to.

If you have any random pretty words or phrases that might spark some inspo for me, that’d be wonderful, or any general advice- it’d be so so greatly appreciated.

I adore your work btw!!! Keep being amazing, and I’m sooo excited for next chap of svn! You’re killing me 🩷🩷

🪩🌇🪐

This made actual tears well up in my eyes you have no idea🥺 and thank you sm! Graduating was something I was actually scared I wouldn't be doing so I've been patting myself on the back for the last couple of days.

And good for you! You found a passion and are working towards making it your reality, that's such an icon thing to do ughh🥰 Also, good luck on your exams sweetie, you seem like a such a sweetheart and I'm sure you'll do amazing!

Ahh yes, the artist's block. Writers, Artists, and Performers always experience some kind of blockage that stops us from being great🙄 I'm not sure what advice to offer though, what pulled me out of my slump was realizing that I couldn't be afraid to put myself down on the page.

When I first starting writing, I was inspired by the things I was reading so some of my earlier pieces aren't fully me. But I realized that if I follow in the shadows of others, I'll never have my own. Maybe try getting more in-tune with yourself and who you are as an individual. Don't be afraid to use your personality, life experiences, and quirks in your work! Try to become effortlessly comfortable in your own skin, don't worry about the feedback you'll get after. Try and try again, y'know? You could also try looking at life through the eyes of people around you inspiration (if they're okay with it, of course), get the chance to use your music to tell someone else's story.

As for those random pretty words, OF COURSE?? I love looking through unique names/aesthetic words so I have a couple already scattered throughout my writing docs:

Hiraeth (one of my favs) - a homesickness for a home you cannot return to or that never was.

Ephemeral - lasting for a very short time.

Illuminate - to supply or brighten with light

Synodic - relating to/involving the conjunction of stars, planets, or other celestial objects

Obeisance - any action that shows deep respect for someone/something

Aureole - a radiance encircling the head or body, as in religious paintings

Morphean - of/relating to Morpheus, to dreams, or to sleep

Some names (can still be used as words)

Calista (greek) - most beautiful

Valkyrie (scandinavian) - chooser of the slain

Aurelia (latin/roman) - the golden one

Ivy (british) - climbing evergreen plant, also associated with loyalty and devotion

Primrose (british) - first rose (associated with protection, safety, and love)

I hope you make it where you desire in life and I hope I could help, even in the slightest! xx

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 11

And now, my fair readers, I shall now embark on PART 2 of the first two-parter of this season! Let's see if it's an improvement...

If there is one thing this episode upsets me the most about, in hindsight, it's how this episode basically embodies the fact that no one in this series has apparently any kind of critical thinking skills. Any kind of ability to reflect on what is going on around them or draw connections just... does not exist, because doing so would cause the flimsy writing to fall apart in seconds, exemplified how Tikki never apparently made the connection between the Alliance Rings tracking the steps of their wielder automatically, Dark(er) Owl going after Socqueline immediately after Marinette ran off to take down the Dinosaur-Pigeon hybrids, or how Monarch was able to find out her and Plagg's new wielders so quickly... or how Alya never once stops to consider the fact that Marinette is still the Guardian, so keeping her identity secret is still a huge deal. It's just not sustainable.

Anyway, rambling over. Onto my mental breakdown! As always, warning for profanity on my part.

Episode 11: Kwamis Choice Part 2 (Deflagration) 

Okay, just got started... here's seeing how this goes. And wow, they seriously cannot have people NOT obsess over the love lives of two teenagers for even a second, can they? 

Uugghh... this is a small gripe, but them trying to present Alya confidently stating that Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't in love and never have been... to say it IRRITATES ME is an understatement, given how much of an unabashed fangirl she was for the ship, up to and including ignoring Marinette's wishes in posting pics on the topic online. 

Okay, we get a scene of Adrien moping over a picture of Marinette on his phone... despite the last episode literally being all about on them FINALLY MAKING FUCKING PROGRESS AND HIM GETTING CONFIRMATION THAT SHE LIKES HIM!! What in the world is he moping about!? It can't be that he's no longer Chat Noir, given that he got over THAT bit of moping at lightning speed. SO WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM!?

Y-You know what makes this entire scene currently going on (Marinette checking in on Alya and congratulating her for being the new Ladybug wielder) so much worse? It's the fact that MARINETTE KNOWS, and also SHE IS STILL THE GUARDIAN OF THE MIRACULOUS. Meaning she is STILL A SERIOUS RISK FOR AKUMATIZATIONS!! Oh, and once again, I'm gonna chime in that, even if she isn't aware that Monarch can listen in on the Alliance Rings, AT MINIMUM Tikki should've let Alya know that they DO track her movements. And the fact that this isn't brought up at all... yeah... 

Alya... no. CUT IT OUT WITH THE SHIPPING. You SENT HIM TO HER HOUSE, HIM FORGETTING HIS BAG THERE IS NORMAL, STOP READING SHIT INTO THINGS!!! Dear god, the way they cannot let up for even a second on the LS just drives me insane. 

...She told Adrien she was "shaving her socks." They. ARE NOT EVEN TRYING AT THIS POINT. 

Alya acting all smug about Marinette and Adrien hanging out (NOT DATING) is honestly infuriating. Because given just how wishy-washy this entire fucking fiasco has been about her respecting and caring about MARINETTE'S OWN FEELINGS, as well as the show's inability to honestly take a fucking SOLID POSITION just makes her come across as a smug "rhymes-with-witch" at the moment. 

Alya... YOU KNEW HE WAS OVER THERE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING SENT HIM TO GIVE HER HER HOMEWORK!!! 

Dadada... Alya still being unable to grasp and respect Marinette's boundaries, of course. 

Ughh... I honestly hate how Alya is referring to Marinette's stupid crush as "episodes." Like, treating a person you actually know, particularly one who is meant to be your BEST FRIEND, as a soap opera for you to watch is incredibly insensitive. And news alert, calling attention to the NON-EXISTENT PLOT PROGRESSION IN YOUR FUCKING SHOW IS NOT FUNNY, IT IS ANNOYING AND JUST SHOWS HOW SHIT THE WRITING IS. Marinette being "back at square one" is not funny. It's pathetic, and honestly unhealthy.

...I honestly just cannot get over how Alya says "you don't have to worry about secret identities or anything about that" when she's conveniently forgetting that MARINETTE IS STILL THE FUCKING GUARDIAN. She is ALWAYS going to have to worry about this stuff, because until she passes on the title (and all relevant memories connected to it), she will ALWAYS be involved in the fight, NO MATTER WHAT. But of course, the show glosses over all that because it doesn't give them the type of drama they want. 

Okay, I hate to admit it, but Plagg's face at "Largest cheese cellar in Paris" was honestly funny. 

And we get Zoe sneaking around... in her own home. Apparently because of Chloe. Ugghhh... it's gonna be like that, isn't it? 

First things out of her mouth being about how "Zoe isn't allowed in the kitchen with her dirty sneakers." And apparently Chloe SOMEHOW gets to dictate where Zoe is allowed to go within the hotel. I'm not even going to pretend to acknowledge this because CHLOE DOES NOT HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THOSE DECISIONS, and if Andre is ALLOWING THIS then this is just an early look at how much of a fucking pathetic excuse for a father he is. 

Also, I don't get why Chloe is calling for Audrey, because it's not as if Audrey would even give a shit, considering that Zoe's literal introduction established that she doesn't give a damn about EITHER Chloe or Zoe, so she isn't gonna give Chloe her way. And if this stupid scene just has the worst Chloe makes Zoe do to "keep her mouth shut" is clean her shoes... okay, what the fuck about this is supposed to justify Plagg running off screaming about Cataclysming Chloe!? 

Fucking GOD does this shit annoy me!! Having characters overreact to shit that is, at WORST, annoying and inconvenient pettiness on Chloe's part does not make her worse, it just makes the person DOING said overreacting look petty and stupid! Granted, the one they are having do this is Plagg, whose track record for being "reasonable" isn't very good, but I doubt that thought ever occurred to the writers. 

Ughh... and they retconned Plagg accidentally genociding the Dinosaurs as an act of deliberate petty spite. No, this does not make him look cool, it makes him look like a fucking PSYCHO.

Also, Zoe saying "it's pointless" with a smile on her face just gives me the same vibes as Adrien's "She'll never change" comment in Despair Bear. It's treating the actions of someone prone to extreme self-destruction and living in a toxic environment as something to just shake your head over and shrug off... and this is before acting as if Chloe being petty and immature is deserving of regarding her as the Spawn of Satan. 

Okay, for this scene alone, I'll GRUDGINGLY give them SOME credit for at least acknowledging that Plagg blows things out of proportion... but that shouldn't be a JOKE, if anything, the fact that the Embodiment of Destruction is prone to overreaction SHOULD BE A VERY BIG PROBLEM!!! 

...I just watched Gabriel... putting on a dance number... after coming out of his fucking secret lair. The ONLY fucking reason I'm not screaming at just how completely inappropriate this scene is (in terms of just both undermining any menace within Gabe as a character, but also for writing off his recent discovery as part of a cheap GAG), is because it was over quickly. 

AND HERE IS WHERE TIKKI NOT BOTHERING TO MENTION THAT THE ALLIANCE RINGS RECORD A PERSON'S MOVEMENTS COMES BACK TO BITE THEM IN THE ASS!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS ONE FUCKING SCENE MAKES THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN FIASCO OF TIKKI AND PLAGG FINDING NEW WIELDERS TOTALLY FUCKING POINTLESS!!! 

Oh, now we get a scene of Nathalie sadly staring at a picture of Emilie. No, you don't get to do that since you are fully complicit in ignoring her wishes and have actively continued to go against them, with the only change being that you "aren't on Gabe's side anymore." 

Also, the way Gabe phrases it as "the right combination of powers" just makes me bang my head against a wall at how the writers have completely abandoned any pretense of him being able to be genuinely creative in the powers he already grants. The last Akuma didn't even HAVE Unique Powers besides being big and bear-themed. 

Again, Nathalie, you DO NOT GET TO GO ON ABOUT HOW SCARED YOU ARE WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN COMPLICIT EVEN WHEN HE MADE AN AKUMA THAT DROWNED THE FUCKING CITY!!!

You also were perfectly willing to make the exact same Wish for yourself, so you have no leg to stand on. 

Honestly, him going on about him having discovered the identities of the new Miraculous Holders in Zoe and Alya would be more impressive if his plan wasn't literally the exact same as all his other plans, but copying what he did during Nino's scheme to get Gabe Akumatized and doing it better, which just makes me wonder why the FUCK he didn't add those power ups THEN anyway!? Or at least just used the Ox, given the whole "invulnerability" thing. Heck, the fact that he's had the Ox as far back as Episode Two makes me wonder why he didn't use it to make Chat Noir's Cataclysm Bluff just that, a HARMLESS BLUFF. 

And now we get another scene of Nino's fucking stupid resistance. I still cannot take them seriously with those idiotic names. 

Next we get a moment of Adrien taking Marinette's hand in his to comfort her... and Adrien, while I appreciate the spirit, and think Marinette wildly flailing is an overreaction, you don't just grab someone's hand like that. That's a violation of her personal boundaries. Ughh... we honestly should've gotten more episodes about stuff like THAT, about how Adrien just doesn't know how to be a normal teen, more than this BS. 

...Everything I see of the Resistance just makes me think less of it. Because on the one hand, yes, being able to report Akumatizations is nice... that's why the "Megakuma/Akuma Alerts" exist, and makes Kitty Section writing loud rock music and broadcasting it over the school's speaker system completely pointless, and if anything it isn't going to get any form of the response they are looking for since no one would KNOW that it has anything to do with Akumas, and is more of a distraction from the threat the Akuma represents. 

...I do not get why they think they would somehow be able to stop someone from being Akumatized, OR WHY THEY THINK THAT PAINTBALLS WOULD DO ANYTHING TO AN AKUMA!!!

Oh, and another mention of the tired "we would have to lie to each other!!" talking point. Not even gonna pretend to engage with that BS. 

Aaaannndd... we get a scene of LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYONE STARING AT ADRIEN AND MARINETTE SHARING A TWO-PERSON TABLE AT LUNCH. This... this is just completely and utterly unhealthy. THE FACT THAT THERE ARE FUCKING FLOWERS ON THE TABLE MAKE IT WORSE, THEY STILL ARE NOT OFFICIALLY DATING YET!!! 

I'm just... nothing about this is romantic. If anything, it's creepy because it's overwhelmingly trying to force this scene to be romantic. 

...Oh, and we get the first 'Chloe is a dumb blonde' scene with her apparently needing Alliance to define Generous to her. Excuse me while I go out into the snow to scream my head off. 

Like, it would be one thing if this was a sarcastic quip she's making that the Alliance Ring just took literally, but we both know it isn't, and I FUCKING HATE IT. Because this is beyond making her stupid, this is literally trying to force her into a specific mold in the most hamfisted way possible. 

And another hit, right away, with it apparently being that you HAVE to say "please" to Alliance. There is literally no possible reasoning for including this scene except to point and go "SEE!? SEE!? CHLOE IS AWFUL!! SHE CAN'T EVEN SAY PLEASE!!!" 

Oh, she's apparently going to "destroy Dupain-Cheng," where have I heard that before? Never. I have never heard her talk like that prior to Season 4. This... this is just obnoxious. 

This also includes the start of the trend of the show making Chloe Lila's attack dog. It's hard to take her as a credible threat when literally it's just Lila using crass manipulation on the girl Astruc insists would be the bottom of the class without help from Sabrina, and she didn't even CARE until Lila brought it up. Nope, I just can't take this seriously, because they are STILL TREATING THE LOVE SQUARE LIKE A FUCKING JOKE.

Yadayadayada, more Chloe Character Assassination and the show not even pretending to have any kind of internal continuity... 

Them trying to present Zoe standing up for Marinette as this badass sign is honestly pretty stupid since MARINETTE HAS LEARNED TO STAND UP FOR HERSELF SINCE FUCKING ORIGINS, and no one has EVER taken Chloe seriously as a credible threat. This is just completely and utterly stupid. 

...I would laugh at them having Chloe say "I'll crush you all!" if it didn't sound completely and utterly WRONG coming out of her mouth. Her voice IS NOT SUITED TO SAYING GENUINE THREATS. It just makes her sound like she's reading from a cringe-inducing script for a school play. 

And now they have Chloe stand-up and just let the Akuma come to her. Not even pretending that this is something DONE to her, and the fact that it's Chloe means that any attempt at trying to make her resist is utterly pointless. 

Wow, they didn't even TRY to stop Chloe from being Akumatized. How "totally surprising." So much for "only having one enemy, and that's Monarch." 

...And "Sole Destroyer" isn't even something I can take seriously as a threat because of how utterly stupid her power is. She turns people into shoes that "sing her praises" by kicking them. 

Also, how is no one hearing Monarch!? Just because he's invisible doesn't mean he's inaudible, and he IS IN THE ROOM WITH ALL OF THEM. 

Oh, and we get Plagg shilling for Zoe again... 

Also, I just do not get on ANY LEVEL how Monarch not wearing the Miraculouses when he made himself invulnerable would make them... not invulnerable. I just don't. It feels totally arbitrary.

Also, Tikki was ALREADY absorbed into the earrings, how in the world did she get blasted out?? 

Marinette freaking the hell out really just... undermines any threat that this is supposed to have, it's too out of place right now. 

Oh look, Sole Destroyer was somehow defeated off-screen with no explanation. And Monarch gets ambushed by the Resistance, which I still can't take seriously since by all rights this should be entirely in Monarch's favor since, you know, HE HAS VOYAGE!!! Oh, and how in the world did they somehow knock Chloe out!? Did... did this show just FORGET that all the Miraculouses grant their wielders a degree of super strength, toughness, and agility?? Because there is no reason a bunch of kids jumping on top of him should have even slowed Monarch down. And again, VOYAGE. 

I don't get why he had to use Multitude before using Voyage at the end, since the fact that he still had a grip on Ladybug's Yo-Yo means he realistically could've just dragged her through with him and had her completely at his mercy. 

Tikki and Plagg wondering how Monarch found him out... while ignoring that there is canonically a WAY FOR THEIR WIELDERS TO BE TRACKED IN THE ALLIANCE RINGS!!! Even if they dismiss the idea of Gabriel being Monarch, they should at fucking LEAST be suspicious!! 

Once again, I'm not touching the nonsense of Plagg comforting Zoe with a ten-foot-pole, given that it's just tied to the show's Chloe Assassination process. "It was an honor to be your Kwami," PLAGG YOU KNEW HER FOR LESS THEN A FUCKING DAY!!! Okay, and with that, I'm done with this episode.

[wakanai]

Red Flag Reblog Game (?) but also a rant lol.

in honour of 'cutting off' a friend I didn't like (not really cutting off but more like. being honest about how I feel and both of us mutually deciding to not be as close as before as a result),

let me make a list of my red flags.

Because this is the second time I've cut off a friend like this 😭

Okay here we go...

🚩 Gets drained easily. High need of alone time.

🚩 Seen zones and late replies. Does not like people who can't understand my seen zones and late replies even after I've explained to them this habit before hand.

🚩 Deletes messages. I delete messages and then send a new message when I feel like the OG message could have been better phrased. I delete messages randomly sometimes for other reasons too.

🚩 Does not like clingy people who need to talk to me or be with me 24/7. This friend I 'cut off' (ughh cut off isn't rlly the right word. maybe, 'demoted friendship'? IDK 😭. Yeah lets just call it DS).

This friend I DSed once followed me w the intentions of dropping me to my driver. I told her, "I feel like being alone right now."

She said "No." and continued following me so I ended up talking to her. It was a good convo but I didn't like that she didn't take me seriously.

Next day, she tried to follow me again but I said "No I'm serious" sternly and started walking fast away from her

🚩 Acts light hearted during confrontations. When I confront someone abt something they did that bothers me, I say it in a light tone as to not 'hurt' them too much. This leads to them sometimes not taking me seriously.

🚩 Good at pretending that everything's fine. In 2 of my friendships, I have ignored their grieviances against me until the point it piled up, I had harbored too much hidden dislike against them and the next time I confronted them abt it, it was when I was already cutting them off.

Both friendships were shocked and did not expect that I had harbored things against them

🚩 Sensitive. (not really a red flag but you know, the thing w my friend I just DSed - - she said she just had satirical humour. She told me (not actual words) , 'I told you many times not to take my words at face value. If you haven't learned that, then clearly you aren't learning.'

In truth, I did not find her 'humour' funny and I found the things she said to me while we were still friends extremely discouraging 😭

🚩 Does not say everything that's on my mind at times.

🚩 Not pushy. In some situations - you NEED to be pushy. I am bad at being pushy but every day is progress ig

🚩 Might be socially awkward <<sometimes>>

🚩 can be rough w friends sometimes. <<sometimes>> (never with ill intentions though!! I don't do it to hurt them, it's just my hands are kind of heavy ig 😭)

🚩 Not confident in self.

🚩 Does not talk much about myself.

🚩 procrastinator

🚩 Dense. Dense. Dense. Dense. Do not give me 'hints' about how you feel. I might not interpret them properly.

🚩 People get attached to me because I listen to them. In fact, I LIKE listening to them. If they're my friend, I comfort them and am there for them.

It's when they start hurting me that I start hating them.

As mentioned above, I have a tendency to tolerate A LOT before deciding I don't like them as my friend.

Since I tolerate a lot, and act normal,

They usually get caught off guard when I tell them my feelings.

By the time I explain that I dislike them and/or want to 'take a break' or 'cut them off' they get shocked and sad

because they've been sharing intimate things to me and now they're about to lose me.

A lot of times I'm the 'listener' friend or 'the therapist' friend.

If I had to put it in words, sometimes I'm a machine that absorbs the rants and troubles of other people and gives them comfort. I use the word 'machine' because to SOME people (some not all) - I feel like a tool that they use when they need to express their emotions. Just a tool. Nothing more. They don't treat me well.

When I dislike the person, that machine runs out of battery and suddenly dies. But while it's still alive, this machine may not give a sign that it's running out of battery.

So the person continues hurting it and using it. And it suddenly dies on the person.

So the person is left feeling sad, confused, angry, and maybe regretful..but they probably understand. because the machine gives them an explanation.

If they don't understand, not my problem 😭

Yeah I think that's all my red flags. IDK.

Another thing

I guess it would be interesting and fun to see other people reblog this with their own red flags. So if u want to, feel free. feel free to rant ur experiences as well ig.