#properly deal w/ and unpack

[angelsdean]

anyways i think dean WOULD hate his younger self (at first) because he DOES see his younger self as both HIMSELF (so it doesn’t count !!) but also as a stranger he doesn’t recognize anymore (esp if it’s a pre-hell version of him) and feels a lot huge cocktail of shame / guilt / jealousy for ruining the future for his younger self AND for the fact that his younger self still hasn’t made HIS mistakes and he’s still pure and good and better than older dean thinks he’ll ever be. and also, sex work for survival and being a victim of sex abuse can make you feel shame / regret and older dean (who has neverrrrr had a chance in the narrative to deal with ALL the trauma he’s faced) likely would still carry some negative feelings toward his younger self for making those choices (even if they weren’t really choices ! even if he was often the victim !) bc older dean, even being in his 40s, has not yet learned to cope and process and heal and untangle the complex feelings of those experiences (also hell trauma and Michael possession trauma definitely retriggered and added to the trauma he already had re: his body and autonomy). And I think it’s just much more complex than dean meeting his younger self and just seeing a kid to protect. I think it can be both that AND he’s also grappling with a lot of internalized self-hate and guilt and shame. And I think exploring those themes is fun and good and narratively interesting.

[forestryfae]

i literally just need a real dresser and ill be completely set and i can properly clean in here. like. i havent washed the floors or really finished unpacking or been done tidying or moving in here in a week and staff are wholly unhelpful

the dressers they have are just too small and i need a bigger one so i can actually fit everything without filling it to the brim but somehow the only answer i get is "well how will you bring it with you when you move" and "we have dressers you can have one from us" like no? just buy me a bigger one or fucking. help me buy one. the ones they have are not big enough at all if you own anything made from thicker materials than jeans and tshirts.

also would help if they could get rid of the MASSIVE dining table i will 100% not use and do not need, the gaming chair i have absolutely no need for, or the extra chair in my room that im using to store some of my clothes. its taped on the armrests cus its old and used. get rid of it??

will be trying to move a shelf thingy and put it somewhere though so ill have real space to store clothes that isnt just on top of the desk ive been using a storage space. if only theyd get rid of the dining table so i can move the desk and have somewhere to draw

i have a couch area w like 4 seats, 5 if you count one of the chairs, along with the kitchen which has two chairs and a table. its a one/two person apartment and theres a table in the kitchen that fits two people just fine along w two couches. come on.

like its just a short period of time ill be living here, maybe a year ish since ill eventually be done w the program here and stuff. but itd still be nice if i could like. be comfortable and not need to deal with a million dumb things that should be neccessary to deal with

like there genuinely isnt enough space in here for this bullshit. the bedrooms are too small to fit the shit they put in them. my bedroom had a bed, tiny dresser, chair, actual livingroom table, one of those dumb fucking Aesthetic Hang Your Clothes Up As Decoration thingies, and a lamp. where the FUCK am i gonna fit my stuff?? why is it SO full???? i dont have a closet or dresser or desk in there wtf. the other bedroom is being used as a laundry and drying room and there isnt even enough space in there. the closet is full of clothinghangers, blankets, various lamps ive removed from places they didnt fit, pillows, and a mattress, theres a vacuum and two norwegian flags?? a board for steaming and unwrinkling your clothes, and i moved the dumb fucking aesthetic clothinghanger bullshit.

staff ofc are protesting my every request for some kind of cooperation where they remove stuff and put it in storage so i can actually use the apartment and livingroom like a normal person. like. the massive dining table, four dining chairs, old taped chair, gamer chair, fuckton of plates and glasses and cups that match w absolutely nothing, two waterboilers, two kitchenmachines??are they old breadmachines?? the addons to the breadmachines, like 17 pot and pan tops with NO matching pot or pan, the broken footrest, coffeeboiler i wont be using, coffe bullshit i wont be using, extra coffeepot w no machine? the aesthetic clothinghanger and the norwegian flag none of these are neccessary in here. literally none of them. they SHOULD go into storage

anyways im gonna see if i cant move the shelf out of the other bathroom soon so i can atleast store my clothes SOMEWHERE. it doesnt even fit in the bathroom its in, its in the way for the only space where laundry could go that isnt the hallway in to the bathroom.

[roversremovals1]

Residential Removal Services in Blackburn

If you’re moving home in Blackburn, a removals company can be an invaluable part of the process. Whether you’re looking for complete house clearance or just a little furniture removal, there are lots of Blackburn removal companies to choose from.

Find a reliable Blackburn man with a van to help you get everything from your old property to your new one!

House Clearance

House clearance is a common service for landlords and tenants who want to clear out their property. Moreover, house clearance services are also essential for those who are downsizing or those who are coping with loss and bereavement.

To get started with house clearance services, you need to choose a reputable company or specialist. They will then visit your home on a scheduled date to clear all the items that need to be cleared.

The service may include the removal of furniture, appliances and other possessions. These are then brought to a recycling center, donated to charities or resold.

When you’re looking for residential removal services Blackburn, it’s important to look for a reputable company with good reviews and feedback. This will help you to avoid those who charge too much, cut corners and break their promises.

Before booking a house clearance service, make sure to check their registration numbers and waste collection details. This will give you peace of mind and will ensure that they dispose of the items properly.

Furniture Removal

A furniture removal company can be a great option for people who are looking to get rid of old, unwanted items. Many furniture removal companies offer green practices that include recycling and donating to local nonprofit organizations.

Some of these companies also offer a convenient online booking platform that allows customers to schedule appointments and receive price quotes. This can make it easier for customers to whittle down their list of options and ensure that they are receiving the best deal possible.

The cost of a furniture removal job is dependent on several factors including the type and amount of furniture to be removed. Additionally, the distance the junk hauler must travel to reach your home can influence the cost of the job as well.

Packing

A well executed packing routine can save you a fortune in time, energy and money. The best way to do it is to hire a competent and friendly packer. A good tip is to use a company that is reputable and has earned the trust of its clients. If you are looking for a top notch residential Blackburn removal services, look no further than Rovers Removals. You will not regret it! The company is the best in the business. The team at Rovers Removals can help you with everything from planning and logistics to organising and unpacking. We also provide a comprehensive aftercare service ensuring that your goods are safe and sound.

Storage

When you are moving house, it’s a good idea to hire a reliable removal service. Whether you’re using a man with a van or a large Blackburn removal company, they can help you to move everything from your old place to your new one.

Storage services blackburn can be hired to help you keep your possessions safe while they are being moved. They can also be a helpful option when you are decluttering your home or undergoing a renovation.

The storage industry has evolved over time to include more advanced technologies. For example, solid-state storage (flash memory) has replaced most magnetic and optical media.

These technologies can store information in a way that allows people to access it at a later date. Some examples of these devices are USB flash drives, jump drives, and thumb drives.

Rovers Removals 6-8 Lord St W, Blackburn BB2 1JX, United Kingdom 1254403786 https://removalsserviceblackburn.co.uk

[aicidos]

to me it's painfully blatant noctis has dealt with depression most of his life. i realized that, as much as i reference it in passing comments, i'm not actually sure if most ppl look at it under this lense. so, to keep everyone in the same wavelength (regardless if you agree or not w my interpretation), i'm gonna ramble abt that under the cut👍

   - he's around 5-6 years old when the first signs start manifesting, due to the alienating feeling that comes with his father's absence. the accident he suffers at 8 years old is a deeply disturbing event (his earliest and nearest encounter with gore, violence & death) that, post-coma, makes noctis significantly more somber and distant for a child his age, even to his own father. during that recovery, he witnesses the empire's invasion of tenebrae and experiences incredible distress from watching luna fall behind. all these images sit with him heavily, and the insomnia he develops messes up his sleeping pattern from here on out.    - he starts showing a tendency for isolating himself during middle school. he feels as though kids only approach him for his status, and so he makes excuses to avoid interaction (that one scene in brotherhood where he straight up walks out from a conversation under the guise of going to the toilet). later on, the isolation habit would take on more complex reasonings.    - he moves out at 15 years old, and, although the privacy provides some relief, it still feels lonely. frankly, it’s escapism and further isolation. noctis reaches a severe depressive rut during highschool. he struggles finding the energy to function properly, and it's not only evident in his demeanor, but his apartment too; it's filthy and dark, bagged trash and clothes everywhere. he hardly ever cooks anything substantial, and when he does, it usually goes wrong, which just discourages him further. he’s constantly fatigued, which oftentimes gets reduced to simply being “sleepy”. to noctis, every day is a struggle of “what can i bring myself to accomplish?”, and his efforts usually go to academic work (i mean, he graduated on top of his class), making him too mentally tired to muster more energy for royal training/duties.     it also doesn't help his royal duties start increasing at the same time his father's health keeps deteriorating. seeing all the sacrifices he has made for his people and knowing he will be the one to take up the throne after his death makes him feel so... unprepared and useless, because noctis is aware he can barely function, let alone take care of himself at this point. even with that level of self-awareness and constantly wondering “what’s wrong with me”, noctis doesn’t realize (nor has the tools to know) he’s depressed. ashamed of over-relying on others, noctis refuses to reach out, even within his closest group (ignis, prompto, gladio).    - as we know, mental illnesses don't always manifest in 'tasteful' ways. depression makes him avoidant until he's forcibly backed into a corner, where he's prone to outbursts in which he finally speaks his mind. it also makes him have a tunnel vision of sorts, where he's so fixated on thinking it’s all his fault + his own suffering, he overlooks the periphery. which, for someone as kind, sensitive and empathic as him (something the game emphasizes a lot), it all later comes to make him feel extremely guilty and selfish: chapter 10 is a good example of this.    - his worst™ depressive episode comes post-altissia, his self-confidence at its lowest. destruction everywhere, luna is dead, ignis got injured in a life-altering way, and noctis feels like he can’t protect a damn thing. it’s a lot to unpack so i won’t get into it on this post, but just know he’s literally miserable, grieving, dealing with survivor’s guilt and giving it his all despite how the chemical imbalance in his brain feels like it’s trying to kill him, along ardyn and the stupid little prophecy.

all in all, his behavior is very often misunderstood as lazy and whiny, which is, uh, understandable at best and reductive at worst (mostly reductive), but. it's also heartbreaking to me, because noctis is trying his best to the energy and resolve he can physically muster. and it's still not enough.

[zelzenik]

my take on the infamous kataang kisses

so i just saw this post that spoke highly of Kataang and on how ATLA deals w consent and what's allowed between partners, and i'm... i'm mad, lol.

this has been spoken on before, but since these bad takes are still floating around on the internet, i feel the need to at least vent/give some sort of rebuttal.

i'm not linking or screenshotting this post, but this is word-for-word what was said regarding Kataang (questionable grammar has been transposed as well):

"One of the many things I adore about atla is how the girls are allowed to and do tell their partners off when they cross a line.... Katara gets upset with Aang for kisses her without her consent, and it's never made out to be overly dramatic or unreasonable, it's framed so that the girls are in the right."

HOW does Kataang properly convey this message??

there's a lot to unpack here. like, a lot

just to start off, yes, i'm aware that not all Kataangers believe that the kisses were consensual and can recognize how problematic (and WRONG) they were. but there are some (many) who do not

for the sake of this rebuttal, we're all going to establish and agree on what happened with the Kataang kisses. personally, in the Cave of Two Lovers episode, i don't believe they kissed - if they had kissed, the creators would've made that known in the show; in the Day of the Black Sun episode, it was clear that Katara was NOT pleased w what went down, same with the Ember Island Players episode; the finale kiss was consensual, however, in my opinion, it made absolutely no sense and came out of nowhere.

this is an address to the following various shippers within the ATLA fandom.

to those who DEFEND Aang's actions toward Katara and JUSTIFY these non-consensual kisses:

don't DO this. these portrayals of murky non-con kisses on television are so harmful!! they perpetuate this whole "nice guy" complex where a guy (or anyone) thinks that he (or they) deserve(s) or can take physical affection from others without their consent/mutual feeling. we have such an awful problem in media concerning these sorts of "nice guys" who wind up taking advantage of women simply due to the fact that they know they're nice and feel that they deserve it.

yes, Aang was a child. yes, he was in an iceberg for like 100 years. i work with plenty of preteens from the ages 10-12, and they've all been taught to respect other people's boundaries, especially when it involves romantic (and depending on how old they are, sexual) encounters; it's worth noting that, at least from my experience, guys are significantly less interested in relationships around this age than girls are!

portraying Aang in a light where he simply takes what he wants from Katara multiple times does a disservice both to him as a character and to all who watched the show without having a clear outside understanding of physical boundaries.

to those who claim that the non-con Kataang kisses are good lessons to others on consent

i might have been able to agree with you had the situations been ADDRESSED within the show! but they were NOT.

the non-con Kataang kisses are not a good example of when a girl has been made uncomfortable by a guy or has been touched nonconsensually by one and stands up for herself because we never have a scene where Katara actually stands up for herself!

between the two non-con Kataang kisses that occurred during the show, not even FRACTION of the show was dedicated toward addressing them!

okay, yes, if you rewatch the show as an older teen or an adult with accurate views on consent, then, yes, those non-con kisses can be an example of how pervasive lack of consent is within our past/current culture

but, for the most part, this show is watched by kids. it's a kids' show. ofc it's grown to be much more beyond a kids' show, and there are so many teens/adults who LOVE the ATLA fandom, and that's totally cool! i'm always anti-harassment and anti-bullying-people-for-enjoying-shows-they-love.

for a show that's primarily marketed to children, though, regardless of the time that it was made in (since the 2000's were far less up to date on consent than we are now in the 2020's), if non-con kisses are included, then they should be addressed.

they can only be good lessons if they're addressed, instead of left hanging and teaching children that such non-con kisses are rewarded.

canonizing Kataang, in a way, validated Aang's blatant ignorance of Katara's boundaries which annoys me to no end.

to those who who say that this behavior was FINE because Kataang canonically dated/married

it's not! it's really freakin not!

do you know how many women experience some form of sexual harassment or assault or rape within their lifetime?? 1 in 6!

and do you know how often these women are unable to do anything about it because the person who attacked them is someone that they love or are involved with?

just because one may be in a relationship with another person doesn't simply excuse this type of behavior.

"no" or "i don't think this is a good idea" or "i'm not feeling this" or "maybe later?" or "i don't feel so good" or "we're in the middle of a war right now" or SILENCE -> NOT CONSENT!!

regardless of your relationship with another person, if they do not respect these boundaries, then they have not respected your damn boundaries.

i don't care if they're your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your husband or your wife or your partner. whatever. if they ignore your boundaries, then they are not respecting you, point blank.

closing

it's no secret that i'm a huge anti Kataanger. i first watched the show as a teenager, and while i initially started the show off loving Kataang, as soon as i hit the non-con kisses, i was immediately turned off from the ship and became a huge Zutara shipper (not even knowing which ship was ultimately endgame but especially loving the dynamic between ZK post-Crystal Catacombs scene).

as someone who's survived a relationship with non-con elements present, i cannot in good conscience ship Kataang because of those non-con kisses.

i love both Aang and Katara too much as characters to see them portrayed in such a way. what hurts the most is that all of these issues COULD have been fixed in the show, if there'd been some sort of reconciliation between Aang and Katara, some sort of encounter where Aang recognized that what he did was wrong and Katara learned that it's okay to say no. but this did not happen. so here i am writing a meta/rant/vent about it.

i understand that this post may not be well received, but this is something i really needed to get off my chest (again) because i hate seeing people praising ATLA for its poor examples of consent within relationships. (it literally drives me crazy.)

[levi-lover]

New Light Part: 1

College Levi x Reader(Modern AU)

W/C: 2.5

T/W: Pretentious Hipster Levi lol 

A/N: Levi is a moody English major who spends his free time reading at the local cafe and yes, I think that is sexy as hell. This is a slowburn piece kinda  inspired by the Hulu show Normal People! I love that show but I could never watch it again bc it breaks my heart too much lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (Part Two will be up soon! & this picture is from Pinterest)

I’ve put all the parts in one list here:  New Light Masterlist

“I just don’t get it.” You huffed and leaned back into your chair. 

“Don’t worry, this stuff takes time to learn!” Hange looked at you earnestly.

The two of you had been studying at Maria’s Coffee for a few hours. Your genetics midterm was in a few days and you were completely lost. You met Hange on your first week, you anxiously walked into the lecture hall thinking this would be an easy pass to fulfill your science credit. Oh boy, were you wrong. Immediately, you were thrown into the depths of mitosis and chromosomes. The only good thing that came out of it was your new friendship with Hange. On your first day, Hange complimented your sweater and asked if they could sit with you. Hange was a genetics major so this class was easy, hell, it was fun for them. They offered to tutor you so you bought them coffee during your study sessions in return.

“Yeah, you’re right but still,” You said in between sips of your coffee. “How do you like this stuff?” 

“Oh, it’s fascinating to me, it’s crazy how we’re made up of tiny cells and in those cells is our human history but we can’t even see it. It’s like the world’s smallest yet most important puzzle.” Hange’s eyes lit up as they continued speaking. 

You listened and continued to drink your coffee. It was late but the cafe was still busy with college students hurrying to type their papers and study for tests. The lamps left soft yellow shadows on the cream colored walls. The cafe was homey and it felt like it was a cottage pulled straight out of a forest. From the back of the cafe, you could see the entrance. It was raining and people ran across the sidewalk with their jackets over their heads. You laughed through your nose.

“Hey! Are you listening?” Hange questioned. 

“What? Of course, I am. Science is the answer to everything, right?” You quipped. 

Hange rolled their eyes and went back to their textbook. You kept your eyes on the front door. It had been a few days since you had seen your coffee shop friend. The word friend was a loose term for your relationship with the dark-haired boy. Your relationship started one day when you were sitting in the spot you are now, it was late, close to 1 am and after downing two cups of coffee you needed to pee. Across from you was a small man holding a used copy of Slaughterhouse Five, he was dressed in all black and was munching on a muffin. You asked him to watch your stuff, he nodded and pushed his hair away from his gray eyes. From that point on, you developed a friendship founded on your mutual respect for privacy yet concern over each other’s well-being. It became an unspoken rule that this was the only place you would meet. Your attention returned to your work, if he wasn’t going to show up then whatever, he was just another stranger. 

“Hange, I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

“What?! Why?! We haven’t even gotten to the good part, wait until you hear about what happens to the amino acids during replication.” The same familiar look of excitement washed over Hange’s face. 

“Look as exciting as it all sounds, I’m gonna have to pass.” You began to gather your things when the front door opened. You looked up and saw the dark-haired boy. He looked as pretty as always with a beige tote bag draped across his shoulder, droplets of rain hung onto his dark strands. Next to him stood a tall, handsome blonde man who was looking around the cafe. His eyes stopped when he reached your table and he lifted a hand and waved at you. You looked at him confused. 

“LEVIIII!! ERWIIIN!!” Hange yelled and waved their arms. People looked up at them with annoyance. 

“Wait, you know them?” You asked.

“Who, those idiots? Yeah. I forgot to tell you I invited them to study with us. Levi promised to help me write a paper,” Hange said nonchalantly. “Shit! I should have asked you if that’s okay. Is it?” 

You looked down and felt your face redden, “no worries, it’s not a problem.” 

“I’ll introduce you to them, they’re buttheads but they don’t bite.”

You sat back down and looked at your notebook as the dark-haired boy and the tall blonde walked towards you. A bundle of nerves planted themselves in your stomach but you couldn’t understand why. You’ve known this man for a couple of months now, slowly building a friendship at your own pace. It was nice to have control over something in your life for once but life always has a different plan for you; it was time to properly meet the dark-haired boy. All rules are eventually broken.

You ruffled the papers in front of you and took another sip of your drink but it was empty. Shit, you thought. The two men were standing in front of you and Hange at this point. The dark-haired boy looked at you, his brows furrowed.

“Hey, you’re House Coffee,” he said in a monotonous tone.

The blonde man and Hange looked at him confused, “wait, you know her?” Hange asked.

You shook your head, “nope.”

The dark-haired boy looked at you confused.

“Well, kinda, actually,” You muttered.

“Huh, that’s cool!” Hange announced. “Levi’s a little bitch but you probably already knew that.”

“Shut up, Four Eyes,” Levi retorted.

The blonde man laughed, “my name is Erwin. I’m a Political Science and History double major.” He gave you a dashing smile and lifted his hand.

Levi rolled his eyes, “humble much?”

Erwin gave him a glare before returning his clear blue eyes to you. You chuckled and raised your hand to his. It was a firm handshake.

“My name is (Y/N), it’s very nice to meet you, Erwin. And it’s Levi, right?” Your head turned to the dark-haired boy and he blushed slightly. Hange and Erwin exchanged a look.

Hange raised their hands slightly and asked, “I’m confused.”

“When aren’t you.” Levi remarked.  

“Oh, shut it you. I thought you two already knew each other.”

You placed your hands around the empty mug, hoping it would stabilize your nerves. “Know might be a strong word, I guess we’ve seen each other here before?“ You shrugged and looked at Levi.

He nodded, “I agree, we sometimes look after each other’s stuff and talk about books.”

“Good to know. I’m glad Levi has someone else to talk to,” Erwin declared.

They pulled out two chairs and placed them around the table. Erwin pulled out his laptop and his binders, everything was color-coordinated down to the tabs and pens. Levi pulled out a yellow notepad and a beat up copy of On the Road and single black pen. He tried his best to act natural but was unsure how to act around you and his friends. He wasn’t prepared for his two worlds to crash, it wasn’t that he was ashamed to know you. He enjoyed your company but it was something that was special to him. He didn’t want to share those precious late night hours with anyone else but you.

“I’m going to go buy a tea, (Y/N) do you want anything?” Erwin said pointing at your empty cup.

“Uh no-” You were about to say before Levi interrupted you.

“12 oz house coffee, splash of soy,” He stated.

Hange raised their eyebrows, in all their years of friendship he had never bothered to learn their coffee order. Erwin was equally as surprised. You stared at Levi, unsure what to say.

“Alright, you got it,” Erwin said before grabbing your empty mug.

Levi and Erwin got up and walked to the front counter. Hange grabbed your arm and you looked at them surprised.

“How long have you known Levi?” They whispered.

“Uh, like I said, ‘know’ is a strong word but a couple of months. We just sit near each other and sometimes talk. It’s not a big deal.”

“I can’t believe Levi didn’t tell me he knew you,” Hange said in disbelief.

“Did you tell him about me?” You retorted

“No but still. If I knew my two friends knew each other, I would have set this study party together a long ass time ago.”

You shrugged and went back to looking at your notes. By this time, Levi and Erwin were walking back to the table. Erwin was holding a mug of tea and your coffee, Levi was holding a mug of tea in one hand and an apple muffin in another. Erwin handed you your coffee and you thanked him. He sat in front of you and Levi opposite of him. Erwin cleared his throat and asked, “how do you guys know each other?”

“We met in genetics class,” You responded.

“You’re a science major, too?”Erwin asked.

“No, I’m a humanities major but I still need my science requirement so I’m taking this class and majorly regretting it.”

“Hey, it’s not all bad. We’re friends now,” Hange nugged their elbow at you, you gave them a smile and nodded.

“What a reward,” Levi muttered.

You held back a laugh which made Levi smile, he hid it behind his book.

“How do the three of you know each other?” You pointed to the trio.

Hange shot up from their text book and exclaimed,“oh, (Y/N) you’re going to love this so it all started four years ago…”

It was their freshman year, Levi’s uncle had just dropped him off at the dorms and left him alone to unpack. Levi didn’t have much except for a suitcase of clothes, a bed sheet set and a small box of books. He started to put his clothes away in the drawers when the door opened and a lean, tall blonde boy and his father walked in, pulling a cart of the boy’s belongings.

“Hi, you must be my roommate. My name is Erwin,” he stood at the doorway awkwardly waving at Levi.

“Levi.”

“Hello, I’m Erwin’s dad, nice to meet you.”

Levi gave him a small smile and continued to organize his side of the room, it took about fifteen minutes in total. After Erwin’s dad left, Levi and Erwin sat on their respectives beds in silence. It took them awhile but eventually they bonded over their mutual love of Russian poetry. Over the next few weeks, they built a symbiotic relationship filled with chore charts and late night study hangs. Levi genuinely enjoyed Erwin’s presence, he was his first friend outside of his hometown. Erwin felt the same way too. He never had a huge opportunity to meet people since he was homeschooled until his final two years of high school. They had found a companion in each other.

The week before Thanksgiving break, Erwin convinced Levi to host a small gathering in their dorm. Levi hesitantly agreed and Erwin managed to get his hands on a weed brownie. They invited a few of their floormates and shared the goods and drank a single Mike’s Hard Lemonade that Hange brought. They sat on the concrete floor and waited for the weed to hit after thirty minutes, no one was high. One of their floormates, Zeke, took a whiff of the brownie and laughed.

“Erwin, this is a fucking regular brownie,” he glanced at Erwin who was tenderly sipping out of the bottle. Zeke’s roommate, Porco laughed.

“No, it can’t be,” Erwin responded. Hange looked around nervously and Levi glared at Zeke.

“Ha, whatever. This kickback is lame anyways. Let’s go,” Zeke and the others left.

Hange, Erwin, and Levi stayed in silence for a few minutes until Hange spoke, “I thought it was a good brownie.”

Erwin gave them a half-hearted smile and looked down at the bottle. Levi sighed and walked to his closet.

“Now that those fucktards are gone, let’s have a real party,” Levi said as he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

Erwin looked at Levi, shocked. “How long have you had that?”

“My uncle gave it to me when he dropped me off. As a going away present.” Levi shrugged it off.

The rest of the night was spent taking shots of whiskey and playing cards games, it was the first night of many.

“Wait, really? Erwin you bought a dud brownie.” You held your side as you laughed.

Erwin looked sheepishly at his drink. Levi had a smirk on his face.

“Yeah! Looking back at it now, it’s the funniest thing ever. But those other guys were jerks. I don’t remember their names now or anything but I hope they’re living horrible lives,” Hange proclaimed.

“I believe it and I hope so too.” You wiped a tear from your face and felt Levi’s gaze on you.

Levi had never seen you laugh that hard, he liked this side of you. He went back to notating his book but he couldn’t deny the feeling of warmth in his chest. The four of you remained in comfortable silence for a while. The coffee shop began to slow down as the clock ticked further into the night.

“This has been a lot of fun but I think I’m going to call it,” Erwin’s deep voice broke the silence of the table.

The three of you nodded in agreement and began to pack your bags. You watched Levi’s slender fingers gently put his belongings into his tote bag. His dark hair was getting long, it brushed against his cheek as he moved his body. You looked away quickly, you knew nothing could happen between the two of you but watching him interact with his friends casted a new light on him. Levi, what a name, you thought. For the past couple months, he was your secret friend, someone you could talk to without feeling judged because he was so removed from your everyday life but now, it was different. You both shared a mutual connection and of course, you shared the countless hours spent in this cafe.

The four of you made casual conversation as you exited the cafe. The cold air whipped your face and you tugged your scarf tighter around your neck.

“Hey, do you need a ride? I’m parked a block away,” Erwin asked you.

“Don’t worry, hot stuff. I’ll walk her home.” Hange winked at Erwin, Levi rolled his eyes.

“I live a few blocks away but thank you. It was really nice to meet you Erwin and Levi it’s nice to finally know your name.”

Levi looked down at the ground and a pink glow appeared on his face, “yeah, this was nice.”

You watched them turn around and walk in the opposite direction for a moment before turning to Hange. The air was cool and the clouds had parted, leaving open an endless sky peaking through the buildings and the trees. It had become a ritual for the two of you to walk home after study sessions since you lived a few blocks away from each other. Hange made casual conversation on your walk home but you hardly paid attention. You kept on thinking about Levi and wishing you never learned his name.

[actual-fucking-clown]

Take your time then.

Aizawa x gender neutral reader

Story under the cut :)

Unedited but like edited but still not properly edited :)

Hope you enjoy!!!

a/n: it’s been a hot min since I’ve written a fic. I think the last time i was 14 and it was shit and on wattpad. Ha. I hate myself. N e way, I was recently writing some shit for an au me and my friend thought up and in the back of my mind I was like, “you should start writing fics again bc this is kinda fun”, soo lo and behold I made a post asking if anyone would be interested, shared a little too much personal shit in it but whatever, and have now decided to write this mother fucker. (3/25/21)

a/n: not sure if anyone will care about this series of a/n’s but I’m just chronicling thoughts ig. rewriting rn bc my first draft was short and ass. Also I’m thinking about opening requests after this is posted, will go into detail in a diff post maybe. (3/28/21)

a/n: deleted everything, rewriting. I just want to make something that might be decent and if I can give that feeling, y’know those chills you get when you read something utterly gorgeous, but I’m bad at writing. sadge (3/28/21, like several hours later)

a/n: ugh (4/1/21)

a/n: ugh pt 2 electric boogaloo. I can’t seem to move forward with the writing. I realized something like this might happen bc to solve a problem feelings need to be discussed and I fucking hate doing that so you can see where I’m fucking up lmaooooo (4/2/21)

a/n: I read angst to fuel my writing brain. So, read some angst, finally writing agian. This first section is probs as long as the story itself LMFAO(4/5/21)

Started: (3/25/21) Finished: (4/5/21)

Warnings: uh angst, curse words, like a lot, (i saw someone else put this as a warning, do I actually need it?), avoiding problems instead of actually facing them, mentions of shit so-so parenting, mentions of not being able to live up to high expectations, y’know, the works

Synopsis: Aizawa takes in Eri without running it by you first and expects you to be okay with it. That’s funny. He was wrong.

Can I preface this with a thought? I’m going to anyway,

all the fics I read paint him as the sweetest partner and I’m sure he is but I think they miss out on how blunt he is and his whole “Mr. Rationality” thing. So as much as I adore him I think there are situations that he’d be a bit more colder towards, a bit more straightforward about. Maybe even like a bit insensitive about but maybe bc he doesn’t have the full picture or something. so I guess this is another warning but aizawa is a little insensitive in the beginning (but like not really but kinda. it’s complicated)

~

Rain pattered softly against the window. The smell of some old random Bath and Bodyworks candle you’d dug out from a box you’d never bothered to unpack smothered the room. Some Netflix show idly played on a low volume on your computer, you’d lost interest in watching tv awhile ago. You needed a break. After the eventful month you’d been having you really needed this. 

Now of course your whole year so far had been eventful. What with all the villain attacks on you and Shouta’s class and the kidnapping of one of your students, to just dealing with the more mundane problems with your students. No. You had no problem with that. The villains, although not easy, were something you were trained to handle. The smaller problems with your students weren’t arduous either, after all you weren’t too much older than them. 

When reflecting on your situation, from and outside perspective it could be seen as the straw the broke the camels back, which sure, makes sense. After all, you’re bound to be stressed out by everything else, so why would this seemingly insignificant thing weigh heavier than a villain attack? Well if that is the situation why does this single straw feel like it weighs a ton? This is not that. This is not culmination of the events of this year draining the life from you. This is something entirely different. A panic inducing life change that completely took you by surprise mixed with your inability to actually face your problems. 

You don’t blame them. You can’t. They’ve done nothing wrong. A child. A small, probably mentally scarred child is your problem. Well not her personally but the fear taking care of her instills in you. Despite working in the field that you do, you cannot for the life of you handle actual children. Sure you’re a little awkward with your class but at least they’re young adults and (vaguely) mature and independent to a certain extent. The fact that your long term boyfriend just came back one day, small child in tow and said “Hey I’ve gotta look after this one now” not verbatim obviously, for a lack of better words, fucked you up. He basically solo adopted a kid and, let’s be honest, he probably expected you to help out. But how could you? How could this man look at you and think “I want this person to help me raise an already fucked up child?” Ok sure, he doesn’t at first give off the “I’m totally father figure material” vibe but in the end he is extremely competent. You on the other hand, not so much.

You’d never been good with children. Tried your best to steer clear of them. Didn’t matter the place, didn’t matter who’s kid, you couldn’t handle them. You would just stand there, awkwardly, not entirely sure of what to do and petrified that there was the possibility of making some mistake which would upset the child and then oh wow look, your head got chopped right of your shoulders. That’s hyperbole of course but it does sum up the insurmountable fear that overcomes you whenever you have to deal with a child. So considering the fact that your long term boyfriend had suddenly decided to adopt and not at least warn you, didn’t sit right with you.

So, the best and most obvious choice, was to avoid your problem. Avoid Shouta, avoid Eri. Avoid the mention of them and you, avoid it all. And honestly you’d done pretty well so far. You were able to have as little contact with them as possible considering the close proximity of your living quarters in the teacher’s dorms. After all they were legally supposed to give you two separate rooms but you never actually used yours, well until now. You were living it up honestly. Did you feel awful? Of course. He is your boyfriend after all and you were sure Eri doesn’t deserve your cold shoulder but this is probably for the best. What could you offer her? You weren’t sure that you were a good role model for her or anyone for that matter. What did you know about raising kids? it’s not like you had parents to set a proper example for you. Of course they might have shown you what not to do but where do you go from there? Is shit like that really avoidable? You don’t want to be like them. You strive to be better but what if you can’t be. There’s also the added bonus of the fact that raising a kid seems taxing on a relationship. Now matter how strong you were sure that the stress of a kid could break a relationship down that then festers into something toxic and unrecognizable. You didn’t want that. God you couldn’t let that happen. No. This was definitely for the better.

Of course Aizawa didn’t feel the same. He was confused on why his partner had been so blatantly avoiding him. Did he do something wrong? He doesn’t remember doing anything that might’ve upset you. So why now? Why pull away now? He had to get down to the bottom of this but catching you was the hard part. You had been taking on more work, offering more assistance to the other teachers, picking up extra patrols, doing everything and anything to stay away from Shouta. It took him a month but he finally caught up to you. You were tired, worn out he knew that. Instead of loading yourself with work you’d decided to hole yourself up in your room. It was now or never.

You were pulled out of your peace at the sound of a few gentle knocks to your door. You really didn’t want to get it. You honestly couldn’t be bothered. 

“(N/n)? Are you in there?” He hadn’t gotten it wrong right? He hadn’t been too distracted earlier and missed you leaving right?

“What’s up?” You hummed from your place by the window, not bothering to actually open the door.

“Can I come in?” Shouta asked, voice soft. You could barely hear him above the patter of the rain and the low humming of your laptop.

“Uh, no, kinda busy. Got loads of work to do. Need to focus, sorry. Maybe later?” You hesitantly spoke. Not sure if you were convincing enough. 

Apparently you weren’t.

He sighed. “It’s been “later” for an entire month. Please (Y/n) just let me in. Whatever this is we can talk it out.” You had predicted that eventually Shouta would start to try to crack down on whatever the issue was but you didn’t expect it so soon. 

“Uh...no?” You tried, hoping that maybe he’d just give up but that wasn’t Shouta.

“No, you don’t get that option, now please, open the door.” Although it was still soft his voice had taken a more stern tone.

“Oh no I’m dead. I guess I can’t open the door. What a shame. I guess the only way to talk with me now is in the pits of hell.” You quipped, trying to lessen the tension that already ran thick.

“(Y/n).” Aizawa sighed.

“Jeez fine. Talk about pushy.” You quipped once more to no avail.

Opening the door you were met with, well exactly what you expected. He stood there, arms crossed, a stern yet gentle look in his eyes, his lips pulled into a slight frown. 

“Come in.” You mumbled as you stepped further into your room.

“So tell me. What’s wrong?” The sentence stirred so much. Of course you wanted to tell him. You wanted to spill your guts to the man you loved in hopes of comfort but you just can’t. You know you’ll just scare him off. You know you’ll make things worse.

So you stay silent.

He says nothing as he grabs your hands gently and leads you over to your bed. He sits the two of you down on the edge, muting the movie on the laptop sitting behind him.

“You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you right?” Shouta sent you a warm smile. 

You weren’t very comfortable with discussing your feelings sometimes, it mostly stemmed from the fact that you never really could discuss them with anyone growing up which made it harder to confide in anyone now, as at this point bottling things up was a habit. But this was also just something that you were sure that you couldn’t talk about.

Silence answered him once again.

Now he took sometime to think about his approach, think about what could’ve happened that made you pull away. What did he do that was different from his norm? He was genuinely stumped and the fact that you weren’t helping him confused him even more.

You decided to take this time to lament the situation too. What was he going to do? Should you actually tell him or play it off? If you play it off will he still insist that something is wrong? If you tell him will he leave you? If you don’t tell him will he leave you? You risked a glance at him, he was still deep in thought.

Why did you have to adopt this fucking kid without at least warning me?

“What?” Your head shot up at the sound of his shocked voice.

“What?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Eri’s the problem...?” He spoke slowly, not entirely sure if he’d heard you right.

“Did I say that out loud?” You squeaked.

“I’m pretty sure you mumbled something along the lines of “why’d you have to adopt that fucking kid”.” Shouta said, unsure if he’d heard wrong. Wanting to have heard wrong.

“No no no no no no! It’s not like that! I mean it is like that but not like that!” You frantically waved your hands in hopes of defusing the situation.

The way he looked at you made you want to cry. You felt horrible. You felt like the biggest asshole in the world and, at this point you probably were. He looked at you with such a look of heartbreak and disappointment and confusion it made you sick to your stomach. You felt light-headed and started shaking. You were right. You were right. You were always right. God why did you have to be right! Why did you have to be like this? Scared of raising a fucking child! It was asinine and irrational and you could probably move past it  but thanks to your stupid fucking brain you just sealed your fate.

You scooted away from him still waving your hands frantically as no’s tumbled endlessly from your lips. You tried sputtering an apology, anything so that he wouldn’t look at you like that but nothing stuck. Nothing was comprehensible. Nothing worked. Nothing would work. Nothing will work. You were hopeless. It was hopeless. 

“If it isn’t like how it seems then tell it to me straight.” Shouta finally spoke up.

You took a second to come down from your panic. You steeled your nerves as much as possible before you spoke. 

“Um well, I have nothing against her it’s just that a little heads up would’ve been nice? I’m not all that great with kids so this is just kind of weird is all.” You were purposefully being vague in hopes that he’d understand what you meant and also maybe drop it.

“Not great with kids? You’re literally a teacher.” He pointed out.

“Yeah you know but she’s like a kid kid and let’s be honest I’m not too great with the students either.” You awkward laughed. So he wasn’t getting it.

“Wha-you’re fine with the students and I’m sure you’ll be fine with Eri, there was no reason to avoid me over this.” Shouta sighed. As good as he was with dealing with people, he was equally as shit. Or maybe it was just the fact that you gave him very little to work with. It was probably a bit of both. Still his dismissiveness was not helping you right now.

“No, no, no, no. I think I’ll stay here. Uh, good luck with your parenthood escapades and sorry to leave you high and dry like this but that’s going to have to be a no from me.” You rambled. He seemed to be getting a little tired of this.

“(Y/n) stop being irrational. She’s not even our kid I’m just looking after her for now. Why are you being difficult? I told you you were fine with the students and you’ll be fine with Eri, what else do you want to hear?” Shouta grumbled.

“Well uh I don’t know, uh...” You trailed off, this seemed to be going in a direction you really didn’t want it to go. A slight hostility settling in the air.

At your lack of a proper answer he clicked his tongue. He took a moment to reassess the situation. There had to be something he was missing. After all you were getting really worked up but if you weren’t going to talk to him there was nothing he could do. He shook his head before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“(Y/n), please, please, just be honest with me. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell me. But I won’t be able to understand if you don’t.” Aizawa sighed, deciding that getting worked up about this was not the way to go, especially when you seemed to be especially distraught.

“Uh, god the thing is I don’t know entirely what to say to put the shitshow in my head into perspective.” You mumbled, trying desperately to figure out what to say that could clear the air but nothing seemed to be coherent enough.

“Take your time.” He decided that this was the best approach to things, making sure neither party got too worked up lest this turn into a fight.

The rain continued to patter softly against the window and your candle continued to burn an slightly off floral-ish scent.  A deafening silence hung in the air because even though he was being as patient as possible some of his frustration leaked through, it was bound to though so you couldn’t exactly blame him. After all, you were probably equally as frustrated with yourself too. 

“I’m just not good in a position like this. I’m not good with kids, especially someone like Eri who’s already so broken. You have that nurturing nature, it comes natural to you but I’m not on that level. I  don’t know the first thing about caring for a child let alone one as already traumatized as her. I’d fuck it up and only make things worse. I don’t want you to reassure me that I’ll be okay with her, I want you to understand that I’m not comfortable with this and that it might take me awhile to come around. I’m sure I sound like the biggest asshole ever but please understand that this just isn’t something I’m ready for.” You had rambled a bit, you were aware of that, but it was the only way that you could properly express your feelings without making things too complicated.

Aizawa said nothing. Trying to figure out how to go about things.

Was he upset? Yeah, you two, even after several long years of being together, hadn’t discussed moving forward in your relationship in depth. And if he’d tried you seemed content with the point you two were at so he left it be, no reason to try and move forward when what you had was already fine the way it was. But recently he’d been craving more. Some mornings, when he’d be the first to wake, he’d study your features in the soft light of the sunrise and wonder what it’d be like to properly settle down with you. Get married, start a family, all that jazz. He’d taken in Eri only because it was the most rational decision. His quirk would be good for quelling hers had it ever gotten out of hand. But it also seemed to quell his musings of something more with you. He had imagined you being a good parental figure for the little girl and it made his heart flutter and his stomach explode with butterflies. But now seeing that that wasn’t what you wanted and how you weren’t ready for it, it stung. But in the end, he loved you. He’d easily give his life for you. So, if that meant waiting he’d wait. He’d wait a million years if he had to. He could do it.

Once again he spoke,

“Take your time then. I can wait.”

Tagslist?: @captainchrisstan (I think you said you wanted to be tagged but I’m also just small brained lol If u didn’t want to and I misinterpreted things just let me know :) )

[what-big-teeth]

Soothe (Male Naga ; Fic Raffle)

A quick re-upload of this fic requested by @gothglamonenightstand​ featuring a Black female reader and a male naga. A slight misunderstanding leads to more and a happy ending. Hope you enjoy!

tw: animal attack, animal death

Female Reader (POV) x Male Naga The cottage is everything you dreamed of. 

It’s cozy with two floors, but not overly spacious with a welcoming guest room. Its clean hearth is large enough to warm the whole house during the heavy winters. But for now, during these mid-summer months, you’ll be drawn to the window of the master bedroom, which showcases a spectacular view of the forest just beyond the property’s edge. 

Your new home is a wonder, one that was purchased with little coin per the last owner’s request. This, and the kindness of the elderly Mr. Adley, is why you’re more than happy to accommodate him until his son returns from the village to shepherd the older man to his new home. 

“I’m glad everything’s to your liking, my dear. I was somewhat worried when you first arrived to see what this old shell had to offer.” 

You tuck a thick lock of curly, black hair behind your brown ear with a smile and pour him another cup of soothing chamomile tea, finishing it with a dollop of honey. 

“You had nothing to worry about, sir. This place is lovely and has a charm all its own. It carries the feeling of home all throughout.” 

Mr. Adley chuckles, his wizened, light brown hand lifting his handcrafted cup with a slight tremble. 

“Then may I also suggest the pathway from the back garden into the forest? I used the walk to clear my head and relax when life became overwhelming. I hope it can offer you the same if you need a reprieve from your apprenticeship.” 

You respond with a brief smile then hide your growing frown behind your teacup.

The fact you were chosen as Madam Irene Bastien’s apprentice was a miracle all its own. Known for her reticence as much as her natural genius, people from far and wide sought her out for the chance to glean any knowledge from her. But every time, she rejected all potential students. Word of her refusals spread far and wide to the point that the number of hopeful potentials gathering at her manor dwindled to nothing. 

You had heard the stories about the elusive apothecary and hearing was more than enough.You were comfortable in your little hometown, aiding your mother with selling her wares at the market. But a chance encounter in late spring with a carefully disguised Madam changed your life forever.  

You had merely suggested to her a list of ingredients for a healing tonic and accompanied her around the market, helping her find the items. All without realizing that you helping out a supposed ‘visitor’ was a secret test of sorts. That very night, Madam Bastien revealed her true identity after finding your home and offered you an apprenticeship.  

You’re still not yet sure what she sees in you, a mere beginner apothecary. But your family refused to let such a wonderful opportunity pass by. With their blessing, you gathered your belongings and made the three day move to the outskirts of the country’s capital, promising to never let doubt make you look back. 

“Miss?” 

You startle, your forearm bumping into the half-filled metal kettle beside you. Thankfully, the water inside has cooled to a lukewarm temperature.  

“Sorry,” you say, “I got lost in my thoughts.” 

“That’s alright, dear. A lot has happened today.” 

Thankful for Mr. Adley’s kindness, you actively listen to his stories about how he built the cottage as a gift to his late wife. How his son grew up here as a rambunctious child. How so many friends and visitors from the capital would stop by during the yearly equinox festivals.  

When his son arrives, you happily help him gather Mr. Adley’s belongings and place them beside the wagon to be packed. A few hours later, as you bid the men goodbye with a wave, a sense of warm contentment settles over you. You hope to run into Mr. Adley again one day, to share another cup of tea and to hear more of his stories.  

But for now, there’s unpacking to be done.  

First your clothing, which was packed by your mother in a sturdy trunk. Then, the wooden statuettes carved by your father. The bed linens, pillows, blankets, and your other personal belongings. Once everything is secured in its proper place, you light the hearth and reheat the stew cooked for you by Mr. Adley’s son.  

Your stomach full, you think about the path Mr. Adley mentioned, wanting to at least see it before night fell. But no such luck.  

“Ah well,” you murmur to yourself. “There’s always tomorrow.” 

Your stomach full, you heat up some water drawn from the backyard well and scrub the day’s accumulated dirt from your body. Dressed in a long gown and with a silent yawn, you climb the stairs to retire to your bedroom.  

Tomorrow will be a busy day and you can’t afford any lethargy. Safely tucked in bed, you close your eyes and drift to sleep. 

---------------------------------------------------------

The horse-drawn coach hits a slight bump on the gravel road, rocking you and your filled satchel. You had asked to sit up front beside the driver when he first arrived in the early morning. Mainly to talk and to calm your addled nerves. 

Unfortunately, he declined, stating that he had strict orders from Madam Bastien to keep his distance. His words saddened you somewhat, but you complied, not wanting to threaten his standing with the Madam. 

One drive past the capital’s city gates on the cobblestoned road and into the business district, the coach arrives at the Madam’s workshop. It’s small but sturdy, a much more humble place than the manor she’s known to live in. Once the coach slows to a stop, you gather your satchel and climb out.  

A woman with deep skin the color of a starless, night sky stands before the workshop’s door. Her gaze is stalwart as she watches your approach, her hands tucked behind her back. Once you’re close enough, she gives you a warm smile that stretches the crow’s feet gathered at the corner of her eyes.

“Welcome,” she says. “Have you already had breakfast?” 

The cheerful manner in which she greets you is nothing like how she first met you. You swiftly remember your manners and reply before she can attribute your silence to rudeness. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Then the bread and pastries inside will serve as a later brunch.”  

Madam Bastien turns around, her long, gray beaded braids shifting against her back. She opens the door with a wrinkled hand and glances at you with a sharp, deep brown gaze.  

“Let’s get started,” she says. “We have much to cover.” 

And cover much you did. The pages of your new journal were soon stained with notes detailing a variety of topics. Types of animal fats, herbs, plants. Which salves, tinctures, and ointments work best. Potions for pain, conception, and contraceptive measures. The apothecaries’ system for measurement.  

She then has you mix together a common tincture after you memorize the ingredient list. The first time, the mix isn’t properly done. Not enough potency. How she can tell just by the scent alone is astounding. So you try again. And again. And again, until finally, you get it right.  

By the time brunch rolls around, a number of failed tinctures sit on the table before you and your journal is halfway filled. You’ll have to purchase another before the next lesson.  

“I think a break is needed,” Madam Bastien says. “You must be getting hungry.” 

You’re about to politely refute her claim, but your empty stomach answers in reply, refusing to be ignored. With a chuckle, Madam Bastien stokes a fire in her hearth and uses the heat to warm up the chilled bread and pastries. They go wonderfully well with some tea and herbed butter, as you soon learn. You happily eat your fill, humming at the mesh of flavors coating your tongue. Madam Bastien, however, sits across from you and takes the time to flip through your journal. She nods as she reads along, smiling. 

“I was right,” she says. “You’ll be a wonderful choice for the position of Royal Apothecary once I retire.” 

Your fork clatters against your plate.  

“W-what?” Madam Bastien simply picks up a pastry and spreads a little butter onto the flakey crust.  

“Word got out about my imminent retirement, no doubt thanks to those damned gossips at Court. That’s why so many would-be apprentices swarmed my estate. Of course, I wasn’t going to simply choose some hopeful unknown to take my place as the Royal Family’s apothecary.” 

She sips at her cooling tea before continuing.  

“I decided to find my apprentice after the throngs died down. So the King allowed me to travel to the smaller pockets of the country while keeping the reason behind my absence a secret.” 

“...Which is how you met me.”

She nods.  

“A choice, I must say, I’m glad to have made. You show immense potential with your gift yet remain grounded. Both skills will be needed to survive the Royal Court and everything it entails. But that will be years from now.”  She taps a loose fist against her opposite shoulder with a chuckle. 

“I won’t be going anywhere any time soon. After all, there is still much to teach you. But for now, sate your hunger. Once you’re finished, you can leave for the market then get settled at home. We’ll reconvene tomorrow at the same time.” 

You finish your portion, drain your cup of tea, and bid Madam Bastien a good day. The food weighs heavily in your belly and your temples pound as you gather foodstuffs from the large market. You honestly don’t know if you could’ve handled the task without the help of the coach driver. You’re thankful, but know he’s only aiding you due to the Madam’s order. And as before, he keeps to himself on the trip to your cottage. 

Your nerves tense and heighten to a peak once you arrive home. The sensation only grows stronger as you place your items in their proper places. Soon enough, you drop down into a chair at the dining table, your fingers tangling and pulling at your hair almost to the point of pain. 

You can deal with and adapt to a sudden apprenticeship. But the assured role of Royal Apothecary? That is something you nor your family foresaw. What would they say if they could see you now? 

With so many hypotheticals running through your mind, you honestly want to forget Madam Bastien’s words for a short time. Forget that tomorrow is coming and with it, a greater sense of responsibility you never expected. 

Your downcast gaze lifts towards the back door as Mr. Adley’s words resound in your mind. With the sun still visible in the sky, you won’t have to worry about nightfall and what it will bring. Now is a good time as any to see what his handmade path has to offer.  

You press to your feet and slip outside, closing the door softly with a tight grip. Taking a deep breath, you force your fingers to relax and glance down. Flat, gray stones form a simple trail before your feet, leading towards the forest. Blades of grass stick up in the gaps between each rock, a reminder that nature can easily overtake this area if it so chooses. It’s a charming sight, one that makes taking the first step easy.  

Your steady gait slows to a more eased pace as a gathering of clouds blocks the sun’s light. A gentle breeze carrying the raw, earthy scent of the forest brushes against your heated skin. You welcome the sensation with a pleased, quiet sigh and press onward.  

There’s nothing but a sea of rolling grass between your cottage and the outskirts of the forest. It’s easy to see why Mr. Adley suggested this, and you’re highly thankful. It’ll be another thing you’ll talk to him about when you see him again.  As you near the edge of the forest, your heart starts to sink. Turning around means having to face the reality of your apprenticeship; something you’d rather not do until absolutely necessary.  

In a way, your wish is granted. But not through normal means.  

Just a stone’s throw, in a sunlit clearing, a large, dark burly shape presses itself further onto the ground. You hear an odd, splashing sound that is soon followed with violent crunching. As the shape shifts, you’re able to see the scene before you with clarity. A massive, black bear tears its maw into the fresh remains of a stag. One that it, without a doubt, took down itself.  

You take a silent breath and begin to slowly back away. Something brittle snaps underneath your foot. You freeze. So does the bear up ahead.  

Your heart pounds in your chest as it lifts its head, searching for the source of the sound. Its dark eyes bore into yours, grunts emanating from its mouth. With a shrill roar, it barrels towards you, sharp teeth bared. You can’t move, no matter how much you beg your body to act.  

All you can do is shut your eyes and hope for a swift end. But there’s no impact. 

No sound of a beast eager to tear into you; only the soft whisper of a passing breeze. Carefully and slowly, as you mentally take stock of your intact self, your eyes open.  

The bear lies on the ground, nothing more than a motionless heap. The green grass underneath its form is slowly dyed a dark color, a deep red that the sun’s rays catch. But the shade is nothing compared to the ink-black braid belonging to the being calmly extracting their long claws from the carcass. Piercing gold eyes meet yours, framed by rich, brown skin and a full nose bearing a long scar. In fact, the majority of the stranger’s bare torso is littered with old injuries, both small and large. The only part of his body that remains untouched is his black, serpentine tail. 

Your legs decide then and there to lose their remaining strength. Your body sinks to the ground, the thick grass taking the brunt of your fall as your lungs cry out for air. You fill them, holding your hands over your throbbing chest.  

“Are you alright?” 

Your gaze darts up. The naga extends a bloodless, clawed hand towards you; the other he keeps behind his back. Pushing aside your nervousness, you take it and he effortlessly pulls you to your feet. But his grip on your hand remains; perhaps to keep steadying you.  

“T-thank you.” Your eyes flit from his claws, which barely touch your skin, to the fallen bear behind him. “I owe you my life.” 

He releases his grip on your hand after a few minutes of silence. No doubt after assuring you can stand on your own two feet without aid. 

“You must be the new owner of the cottage, then?”  

You startle at his words. 

“Yes, but how did…” 

“The Adleys told me about the upcoming changes weeks ago. I just didn’t expect to meet you so soon...maybe not at all.” 

You let out a soft chuckle, not quite aware of where the urge came from. But it acts as a crack in the dam holding back your feelings all the same.  

Without warning, everything spills out from your lips. Meeting Madam Bastien, your apprenticeship, the move to the capital from your only home. Your eyes burn and your chest heaves while you speak, but you can’t stop the release. Not until everything is out in the open, including your near-death experience.  As your sobs quiet, a cool sensation brushes against your wet cheeks. Your rescuer gives you a soft, understanding smile as he gently wipes away your tears with the back of his claw.  

“I-I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I must be taking up your time. And I don’t even know your name.” 

“It’s Anil,” he says. “And honestly? I was debating whether to take a nap in my favorite tree or grab a snack from the river. But I have to say this change in routine is more than welcome.” 

His relaxed tone pulls a true laugh from you, which by the look of his own fanged smile, was his goal. 

“Much better,” he murmurs.  

Somehow, that one comment and your emotional release has you feeling much lighter than before. You’re able to take a deep, calming breath and give him your name. All while returning Anil’s smile. He repeats it, as if committing it to memory. But a part of you wonders why he looks so thrilled to know such a simple thing. 

“Thank you again,” you say. “I should head back. I’m expected to meet with Madam Bastien tomorrow morning.” 

Anil nods then clears his throat.  

“If you’re in need of a willing ear, please feel free to return,” he says. “That is, if you’d like to.” 

Your eyes take him in: the way he deftly skims a claw over one of his cheeks while attempting to meet your gaze, but failing to hold it. The sight is endearing and rather sweet.  

“I would, as long as I don’t disturb you.” You purse your lips together and decide to take a chance. “In fact, if you’re available tomorrow…” 

“I am,” he says, in what you think is an excited tone. But you don’t want to assume.  

So you simply smile and bid him a good day, telling him “until tomorrow.” 

Anil repeats your words and you two go your separate ways. 

------------------------------------------------------------

The following day, Madam Bastien proves to be quite the taskmaster. Your new journal is nearly filled like its predecessor, prompting another visit to the market. And another venture to the forest’s edge.  

But this time, you plan to go bearing gifts.  At first, you expect to wait at the previous meeting spot until Anil arrives. Instead, you find a guide of sorts without any signs of yesterday’s bear. Makeshift stakes stick up from the tall grass, the tops marked with a vivid red dye. It doesn’t take long for your curiosity to get the better of you.  

You follow the marked path to a larger clearing where a massive tree towers overhead. Dappled sunlight shines through the gaps of the leaves and on a familiar, dozing naga. Anil is cradled among the thick yet lower branches of the tree. His dark tail is coiled underneath his upper body, providing a makeshift bed of sorts. His features are soft, the serene sight bringing a smile to your face. So you seat yourself at the tree’s base and turn to your attention to your wickered basket.  

You push back the lid and remove the linen keeping the food warm. The delicious, mingling scents make your mouth water. And cause a groan from up above.  Anil shifts, blinking down at you with bleary eyes, a few stray leaves clinging to his mussed hair. You giggle. 

“Good afternoon, Anil. Did you sleep well?” Anil yawns widely, his fangs unsheathing themselves from the action.  

“Very, thank you. By chance, is that venison I smell?” You nod.  

“It’s for you. I purchased it from the market as a surprise. Come have some.” 

You think you see Anil’s body tense for a few moments. 

“Are...are you sure?” he asks with a hesitant tone. 

You huff out a light laugh and smile.  

“Of course I am!” 

Seconds later, he takes you up on your offer and slithers his way down. Soon he’s beside you, happily partaking of the meat, bread, cheese, and fruit you’ve brought along. He finishes his portion with a satisfied sigh, licking his claws with a forked tongue while you tuck your leftovers back into the basket for dinner. 

“I wasn’t sure what to get originally, but I figured venison would be a safe bet. Was I right?”

 Anil glances your way then down to his hands. 

“You were, and then some. It’s actually my favorite.”

 He fidgets, the motion traveling down to his curled tail. It reminds you of how a ripple affects an entire pond.  

You reach out with a tentative hand and touch his shoulder. His deep inhale doesn’t escape your notice. “Is everything alright?” 

“Y-yes! I’m just thinking, that’s all. But that can wait. How was your time at Madam Bastien’s?” 

You tell him how your first foray with creating a decoction from memory went. Better than expected, but with some bumps along the way. You also mention the need for another journal and how you expect to have a miniature library soon.  

Anil listens intently to you, smiling all the while. But it’s the light in his golden eyes that give you pause. They’re warm, almost molten, and full of...fondness? You’re quick to dismiss the thought and prompt him to tell you about his day, which he readily does.  

When Anil asks to see you again, you both agree to the following day. It’s from that point onward that you notice some odd things.  

One day, as you accompany Anil to the river, he stays close by your side. During one instance, he places his clawed hand against the small of your back. You don’t think much of it, especially when you both come across some gnarled roots jutting from the ground. He carefully and gently guides you over the obstacles, but his touch lingers before he pulls away. 

Then, at the river, he catches a large haul of fish. But instead of placing them all into his own personal satchel, he reveals a second bag. He fills it with the majority of his catch and presents it to you with a shy smile on his lips. You accept it with genuine thanks and he looks away, grinning with pleasure.  

After that, Anil keeps close to you in various ways. But more so as he tells you about his family, him leaving the den before his other siblings, and meeting the Adleys. Still, whether it’s to guide you by holding your hand, to show you some of his favorite areas in the forest, or to present you with more food, he’s always near. In fact, your personal stock of meat is nearly overflowing and you’d hate for it to go to waste. 

Early that morning, you smoke the meat (with the wood Anil happily volunteered to chop for you) and bring the bundle to your next meeting with the Madam. She hums with pleasure as she tucks into the food and calls her coachman to receive a portion. 

“This fish is considered a rare delicacy here in the capital,” she says, dabbing at her lips with a thick napkin. “Last I checked, the fishmonger was unsure if he would have any this season. How did you come across it?” 

You sip at your water, unable to hide your smile.  

“A friend of mine gave me a part of his catch.” 

Madam Bastien gives you a look. It reminds you of the knowing way your mother would look at you when a young boy caught your attention.  

“Just a friend? Are you sure of that?” 

You’re about to refute her claim but pause. Your mind recalls just how close Anil has grown towards you over the last few weeks. You’ve also learned more about him and have come to greatly enjoy his company. But there’s...something more.  

“It seems,” Madam Bastien begins, pulling you from your thoughts, “that your friend wishes to impress you. If I may ask, what has he done for you so far?” 

You explain everything. And when she asks how it all began, you mention the picnic you prepared as thanks for saving your life from a raging bear. Confusion colors her face, but when you mention Anil being a naga… 

The Madam nearly chokes on her wine. She swiftly places her napkin against her mouth as she coughs, clearing her throat.  

“I-I’m so sorry,” you say standing up, hands raised and ready to help.  

But she holds up her own hand in reply, making you pause. She gestures for you to sit and you do. 

“Since that is the case,” she says after a deep swallow, “I should explain a bit about the naga and their courting habits…” 

She starts at the beginning, aligning what you and he have done so far with the start of naga courtship behavior. The interested party provides food without prompting, letting the other know their interest in them as a possible mate. As she provides more detail into what may happen—including copulation—a burning heat floods your cheeks. But you find that it isn’t unwelcomed.  

“So then,” she concludes, “That is what you should expect. I just hope that your new paramour won’t distract you from your studies, yes?” 

“Of course not.” You’re stunned to find that you mean every word and that you agree with Anil being more than a friend. “But, if it’s alright with you, may I be excused early today? There are some things I need to take care of.” 

The Madam calls for her coachman, gives you a knowing smile and winks.  

“Good luck, dearest.”

 ------------------------------------------------

You can barely contain yourself as the coach coasts to a stop before your cottage. In fact, you take the initiative and leap out before the coachman is able to open the door for you.  

You quickly circle around back and follow the stone pathway towards the edge of the forest. Your heart swells at the sight nearing closer with each stride.  

Anil holds a bundle of makeshift markers, the tips dyed that familiar shade of red. Before he’s able to spear the next stick into the ground, you shout his name. He pauses, straightening his body and saying your name as you dash towards him.  

He manages to catch you as you leap towards him, your arms winding around his neck and your cheek nestling against his own. He shudders, him own grip tightens around your body, secure and warm. 

“I’m guessing something good happened today?” 

You hum in reply, pulling back so you can see him face to face. Then, you gently press your lips against his. 

Anil tenses, and for a moment, doubt begins to seep in. But it’s quickly swept away as he kisses you back, his fangs pressing against your mouth and the tips of his claws gently teasing the nape of your neck. All while as his other arm holds you close. Your hand taps his back, a reminder of your need to breathe. He tapers off the kiss, taking in a few deep breaths of his own. His golden eyes glitter as they take in your breathless expression. 

“I didn’t...I wasn’t sure...so you are interested in me as I am in you?” 

“I am,” you say, cupping his cheek in your palm. “It just took me some time to realize it.”  

He nuzzles against your warmth, with a large grin.  

“How so?”

“It’s a bit of a long story,” you say. “One that may take up most of the day.”

“I want to know,” Anil says. “As long as I can be right next to you.” 

You can’t help but silently agree.  “The cottage is large enough for the both of us, if that’s alright with you?” 

Anil presses his forehead against yours, his eyes drinking you in. 

“More than,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

[whetstonefires]

Hi Whetstonefire. I have a question about the comic where Nightwing cheats on Starfire with Barbara: What happens directly after that? Does Starfire find out that Nightwing cheated on her? And, if so, how does she react? I've read online that (according to Marv Wolfman) Starfire is the opposite of everything Batman taught Nightwing to be and that Batman taught Nightwing to be repressed and cold. What did Nightwing contribute (emotionally) to the relationship between him and Starfire? (Cont.)

(Cont.) From what I can tell, from online, Nightwing was adamant about standards of mercy and monogamy - how do you think, if Starfire were to be written as her own character and not written around Nightwing and his emotional needs, she would handle and react to that? (This bit is an FYI for other readers: this is just speculation, not hate. Sorry about that.) Sorry about the questions! Have a nice day! 

Okay there are so many separate questions packed in here! I may miss some of them lol and I do not want to put in the hours it would take to produce an orderly response to all this, so this post is going to be a mess.

Initial query and important point: the cheating story was out of continuity. Like, literally, not just by ‘being rejected by the fanbase,’ it was just this weird retcon oneshot that seems to have been some sort of fuck-you to Nightwing or his fans or something. So no, it had no in-setting fallout lol. It, in more ways than most comics, didn't exactly happen.

It was just this weird thing where Dick hooks up with Babs before giving her a wedding invitation, which is both out of character for him in general and out of step with where he was leading up to the wedding--he was desperate to get married so they could have some Normal Stable Adulthood Happiness; the choice to recharacterize him as a fuckboy who regards it as a loss of freedom isn’t congruent, on much more than the level of principle.

As far as how Kori would feel about it, if she had learned...that is very hard to say. Apart from how it would require her to reinterpret everything about where their relationship stood at that point, the data is very unclear, and I don’t even have all of it. Gonna back up to cover some of the rest of the ask, get some context here.

So this actually brings up two of my biggest gripes with Wolfman’s NTT--weird Kori characterization and the weirdly negative interpretation of Batman as parent that backwashed heavily into other titles and influenced the character for the worse, in ways we're very much still dealing with today. 😩

The latter is pretty self-explanatory, though Wolfman’s take that the main thing Bruce taught Dick was repression does shed light on some writing choices and make others funnier. But Kori. Oh my lands.

So, item one, I wouldn't say that Kori is overall opposite Bruce, or even of his philosophy? There are just some very major points of opposition. She isn’t emotionally buttoned-down like at all, especially about positive feelings, although considered realistically with all the bullshit they’ve piled into her backstory she absolutely leans on repression to cope and stay positive, which makes her a lot like Dick actually.

To an extent, she was clearly written around foiling Dick’s Batman-derived traits in the same way that Robin was written to foil Batman, bright and glad and aerial. A Flamebird to his Nightwing in theme if not in name.

You could do some interesting stuff with that, and the bildungsroman aspects of this period of Dick’s life, like he has two roads forward in terms of how he’s going to define ‘adulthood’--does it necessarily require becoming more like his mentor-father, for good and ill, or can he make Kori in part a destination, as it were, and create an adult self that is derived from who he has always been as well as the man he’s modeled himself after?

To an extent I think this even was one of the things going on in ntt but like. Only a little bit.

(Given how much like Bruce Babs is in most of the ways Kori isn’t, especially once she’s Oracle, you could make a case for her as love interest being like. Symbolic of his not being in a rebellious phase? That gets weird and oedipal really fast tho lol.)

Okay stepping down one meta level lol, the thing about answering the 'what would kori' question here is that her character is deeply bound up in her culture, about which we are told and shown a great many contradictory things. Any attempt to read her as an independent character has to tackle not only the gender stuff you allude to and these inconsistencies, but how much of the sheer mess of her is rooted in racism.

'Fantastic' racism, technically, because Tamaraneans aren't real, but the 'taming the savage' narrative that kept surfacing between them and the language used in reference to it is just. The existing racism of presumably the writers, placed in Dick's mouth, and it's super gross. I hate it so much.

(I had a faint hope when they cast her for live action it was with a deliberate intent to directly tackle and better that history, but lollllllll nah. At least they didn’t double down in it tho! Can you imagine, with a black actress, in this day and age....)

So to predict and comprehend Kori, you have to make a lot of calls about Tamaran as a civilization. I like to slightly privilege stuff established earlier if there's no good reason not to, so while much is made over time of her inappropriate rage and the violence she was raised to normalize, I think what she says in her first appearance is good to keep in mind: in her culture, kindness is for friends and cruelty is for enemies. She doesn't understand why the Titans seem to have this backwards.

Kori is not a merciless person. She’s very empathetic, as a rule. With people she loves, she is self-destructively forgiving. That's not a trait only Dick benefits from--her family keeps betraying her in new exciting ways, and she keeps letting them.

Her arc of growing away from that habit is however greatly crippled by centering Dick in the narrative and by the awful 'civilizing' overtones that keep coming into it. When she comes back after the 1986 breakup, still married to Karras, she brings with her a commitment to doing things the Earth way--to eschew lethal force as more than a compromise with her friends’ values, but as a deliberate choice.

This deserved a lot more space and time than it got, and the fact that it didn’t get it is only somewhat due to her being subordinated to Dick and to general writing fail; a lot of it’s just the team book problems of everything happening to everybody all at once.

I mean, Dick’s journey later on to deciding he loves her enough to date her even though she’s married and it’s technically against his principles was packed into this absolutely heinous issue where he was inspired by a woman refusing to separate from her husband who’d just threatened to kill her and their kid with a knife, until being stopped by Nightwing. Because he’s apologizing for what he did.

This is his inspiration for accepting Kori’s marital status! It’s supposed to be heartwarming, as far as I can tell! Not heavyhanded messaging that this is a self-destructive terrible choice in which Kori will inevitably harm him somehow! This issue is pro ‘consensual open relationships under certain circumstances’ and also ‘giving abusers another chance’ as expressions of love. Welcome to the 80s ig.

(Notable is that the wife in this issue was black and the husband and son both looked very white, so it’s probably her stepkid and she probably wouldn’t get to keep him if they separated; this is not even vaguely treated as a factor.)

Point is, everyone was getting too little space to actually go through the amount of development they were getting, and it was clumsily handled; it’s not just her.

In an overlapping period Gar processed his issues with his adoptive father with whom he constantly fought and their shared trauma over the rest of their family (the Doom Patrol) having died violently not long ago via a batshit several-issue storyline where Mento went crazy, created supermutants, and abusively mind-controlled them to attack the Titans. It is literally all like this.

Back to the infidelity thing, now. So much to unpack. So like I mentioned above, their first big breakup, while partially driven by Dick’s existing conflicted feelings about their different ideas about things like ‘killing in battle’ and ‘her identity and loyalties being tied up with her home planet,’ is explicitly over different takes on monogamy.

When Dick is breaking up with her, Kori makes it clear she thinks it’s totally reasonable to have both a husband and a love, since Karras also has someone he loves and they’re both fine with it, but the story doesn't really explain how nonmonogamy works on Tamaran, or even if it's practiced outside the context of political marriage. They do do a sort of...soulbond fusion dance...thing, as part of the ceremony, so marriage is definitely serious business. There are so many levels of cultural difference that get poor to no development.

But to return to the weird ooc retcon cheating story: because of this context, no matter what her personal norms are, Dick specifically casually sleeping with someone else would be something for Kori to be mad about, because of the hypocrisy.

Then there’s the Mirage Incident, which I haven’t read through properly and which was very poorly handled by the writers. Kori is upset about Dick having slept with someone impersonating her and there’s a general vibe of this being treated by Dick’s social circle as unfaithfulness even though he was in fact sexually violated by deceit; it famously sucks.

We still don’t learn a lot here about Kori’s ideas about monogamy, from what I have seen, because her focus is mostly on feeling like Dick doesn’t care about her enough or in the right way since he couldn’t tell the difference. Which is an understandable feeling, even if it’s not an appropriate reaction to have at him at this time.

What Nightwing contributed emotionally........hm. This is a mess, honestly; he was all over the map, and not just because of having Brother Blood in his head. I cannot speak definitively on this, it’s too inconsistent.

For most of their relationship, Kori was the more intensely invested one, the one to initiate and the one who was shown at length to be excited to come home at the end of the day to their shared apartment because her boyfriend was there to see and talk to. If we set aside his more egregious white male bullshit, Dick was pretty emotionally available most of the time, though? They were cute.

Since they split up a lot of ink has been spilled making him less into her in retrospect, but he was pretty invested--leaving her coincided with mental breakdowns both times, and it wasn’t even mostly because she was doing his emotional processing for him, because she wasn’t, although it’s fair to say he often fell into using the relationship as an emotional crutch. Kori was definitely doing the same thing though so...it wasn’t the most balanced relationship in fiction history, but apart from slight codependency and the racism, it was decent enough.

She gets more evenhanded development than most superhero love interests, honestly, because she was costarring in a team book. She had her own storylines. She had other friends.

Mostly both of them just needed some space to finish growing up and stop being retraumatized long enough to process some of the existing trauma better, and I think they could have gone on being good for each other for a long time.

[jordanstrophe]

This One is Mine, part 6

The Dinner, part 1

CW: Whump, Pet whump, Abuse referenced, Anxiety 

Previous     masterlist       Next

​“He is so cute!” Mia exclaimed, having Michael twirl in his new clothes. He obeyed of course, without complaint. “You like them? We can get you more if you like.” Charles chuckled. “N-no sir! I really like these. It feels really nice to have my own clothes I can pick from! Thank you.” Michael politely bowed. 

He was used to only wearing whatever Malcolm had thrown at him in the mornings. Sometimes it would be an over-the-top outfit to show him off, and sometimes it was just a pair of jeans. He already knew what would happen that day if he was given the jeans, as it was something Malcolm didn’t mind getting torn and bloody. If he was dressed nicely, that meant nothing bone breaking or shredding would happen that day. Even though the outfits were uncomfortable, it still felt safe. As safe as he could feel. 

But these were different. His new master spared no expense, and got him clothes that were nice, and comfortable. It was an odd feeling, like he could just relax and feel safe, but that usually wasn’t the case, he learned the hard way.

“Lets get these clothes up to your room and unpacked, alright?” Charles smiled. 

“M-my room? What room?” He asked, looking up at him with a tilted head.

“The room you’re going to stay in.” Charles chuckled. “There’s a guest room upstairs I think you’ll like. Bonus point is it’s just a couple doors away from the master bedroom, so if you need anything at night, I’m just right there.” He smiled

“I... I don’t understand. I get a room? Why?” He asked, almost panicked.

“Of course you get a room! Where did you think you were going to sleep?” He asked.

“.. Under the coffee table..” He muttered.   “Under th-..” Charles repeated in a stutter. Did he think he went through the trouble of bringing him home to just throw him under a coffee table and sing “home sweet home”?  He was treated so badly he expected it all the time now. The spike of anger in his chest only fueled how much he wanted to care for him. When he brought him home, it was in a last second call out of a protective instinct. He didn’t think he would even have time to properly take care of him, but for some reason, that's all he wanted to do. 

“Come on sweetheart, why don’t we go check out your room, then.” Charles smiled. He hoisted up the last of the bags in his arm. 

“W-wait! Let me carry those, it’s the least I can do!” He cried. Charles hesitated a second, despite the bags draped around his arm, he still made his best attempt to ruffle Michaels hair, who held his head down in response. 

“As kind as that is, I know you’re still hurt. Let me do this for now, okay?” He smiled. Michael jolted with reaction.  “N-no! I’m fine! I’m okay! Really!” He cried.   “That’s great if you feel that way, but I still sent for a private doctor, he’ll be here tomorrow.” Charles smiled.  “What?!” He cried. He did lie with the first sentence. His back hurt when he moved, and his arms were sore and weak, the slices down his legs burned, and his ankle was sprained. But he trained himself to walk normally. No... He didn’t train that, Malcolm did.

Miles seemed to appear whenever anything was going on, as he swooped up half the bags off Charles’s arm.  “Hey!” Charles complained, as Miles giggled. “I’m helping you, these are mine!” He chuckled. “But I had it.” He pouted.  “Jeez Charles, let me do my job.” Miles mocked.  “I gave you one job Miles! And that’s please don’t let anyone kill me.” He laughed. “And that’s what I’m doing, what if you fall down the stairs because you carried all these bags?” He complained.  

The two men joked and bickered amongst themselves, but Michael was still upset. He had been given what felt like the entire world, but he hadn’t earned it with the only thing he could give. Blood and tears.

“I’m useless.” He muttered under his breath. He didn’t mean to say it, but it came out quiet enough surely no one heard. Right?

Charles immediately whipped around “Here, this one is a bit heavy for me, do you think you can get it?” Charles smiled. It was the lightest one he could find in the pile. Michael perked up, he joyfully took the bag, it was light enough it didn’t cause him any pain. “O-of course!” He said happily. He wondered why Charles struggled with it’s additional weight, knowing he was a pretty fit guy. He was truly an oblivious soul. 

He wanted to swing the bag around, but thought against it, and behaved himself as he followed Charles up the stairs. Miles opened up a wooden door, and set his half of the bags down inside. Charles did the same, then beckoned Michael into the room. He would be lying if he was a bit scared of what could be in there. Despite the fact he would be getting an entire room, it could still be filled with shackles, cages, whips, and... Wait is that a bed? 

There was a large light cream bed against the far wall, with golden details threaded into it in beautiful patterns. There were lace wispy white curtains that framing a window that lit up the room with a soft gleam. Small potted plants sat at it’s sill, with a tiny watering can. The floor had a light cream carpet covering the half center, the rest of the floor was a dark wooden floor, the same color as the drawers and mirror.

“It’s not too much, it was the guest room, so it just has the basics, but I had Liam and Mia throw some decorations around. You can change things around later, but it’s yours now, if you like it.” He smiled. 

“I can’t take this.” He muttered. He stared at the soft carpet at his feet. Tears formed in his eyes, and streaked down his face. “It’s t-t-o much... I can’t take this.” He sobbed. He clutched his arms and fell forward as tears fell to the floor. He felt gentle comforting arms wrap around him from behind, and cradle him. He cried, and cried. 

He should be overjoyed, instead he was overwhelmed. He was plucked from hell, and plopped into heaven. It was all too good to be real.                            “Do you remember what I promised you?” Charles whispered in his ear.

“Y-you promised you would t-take care of me...” He sobbed. Charles pulled him over to sit him on the bed. They practically sunk into the plush soft bed.

“I’ve hardly done enough for you, all I’ve done is give you clothes, food and a bed. Let me take care of you.” He pulled him into a deeper hug, as he sobbed into his chest. He brushed a hand in his hair and gave him a moment, before quietly shushing him, wiping his tears, and placing a hand on his cheek. “Will you let me take care of you?” He asked. 

“Y-yes sir!” He cried, as Michael wrapped his arms around Charles neck, and hugged him. For the first time, he started to feel safe.  Charles couldn’t stop grinning as he hugged him back. 

“Alright now, why don’t you start unpacking. You can put them wherever you want. There’s something I have to do, but I’ll be back in a moment.” He smiled. He wiped away the rest of his tears, as he gave a quiet “mmhm” in response. It was all he could really muster. 

Charles left him to his task, and headed down the stairs. His hands shook a bit, and he crossed his arms to hold them still. 

“Sir!” Mia called. She was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

“I see you uh... You added something to your schedule tonight.” She said with a concerned tone. Charles silently nodded.

“Dinner with Malcolm, here, at six.” She reminded. 

“I need a favor from you.” He gave her a sad look. “Michael is a bit more comfortable with Miles, but I need him at the dinner tonight. Do you think you can get close to Michael, and keep him distracted during the dinner?” He asked. “Oh Charles... That boy is going to be scared to death...” She sighed.  “No, he’s not going to know he's here.” He responded. “What? How are you going to pull that off?” She raised an eyebrow.   “I’m not, you are.” He gave her a shy smile. “I’m not getting paid enough for this... Fine, I’ll do my best.” She sighed. “You are the best.” He complimented, before leaving her to it.

“Liam! Did you hear about the dinner tonight?” He called. 

“Unfortunately.” Liam growled, aggressively hacking at dripping raw meat.

“For no reason in particular, what’s his least favorite meal?” Liam asked.

“Joy and happiness, probably. Just a basic meal is probably safe.” 

“Me? Basic? Do you know me?” Liam smirked.  

“Fair enough...” Charles muttered. 

He was going to show up in two hours, and was most likely staying for as long. He said he had “important” papers to discuss and a deal, but he knew the real reason. And he was determined to disappoint him. He climbed the staircase, and walked up just as Mia was leaving Michaels room.  “He’s getting tired. He might be able to sleep through the whole thing if he’s lucky.” She said, quietly shutting the door behind her.  “That would be perfect, thanks Mia.” He said, as she nodded. 

He opened the door, Michael and Mia had already hung up all the clothes, and he was sitting at a desk in front of the window staring out. He perked up and gave Charles a sweet excited smile as he walked in. 

“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled back. Michael stood up and looked at him expectantly. “I know it’s a bit early, but why don’t you get caught up on some sleep. I’ll have Liam bring you up something to eat later, but the schedule got thrown off today, so dinner isn’t going to be very formal tonight. We’ll have a proper dinner tomorrow, I promise.” He smiled. 

Michael had noticed his tone was off, but he nodded in response. Charles pulled back the covers to the bed, and Michael climbed in. He sunk into the center, and hugged a fluffy white pillow before looking up at him. Charles tucked him in, and placed a hand on his forehead as he closed his eyes. He seemed like he had a small fever, but he had a doctor coming to see him tomorrow, so he tried to not worry.

“Doing okay? Are you comfortable?” He asked.  “It’s unreal.” He whispered back. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes. Charles smiled, and did some finishing touches to the blankets. 

“Stay here for me tonight, I’ll come check on you later.” He smiled, before closing the blinds to the window, and shut off the light. 

BANG BANG BANG

Someone hammered at the door. Miles opened it, to reveal Malcolm, purple suit, top hat, arms crossed, evil grin flashing across his face. He had driven up in a limousine of all things. He had his own bodyguard standing behind him, a towering man with a suit and sunglasses, who looked like he was purely made out of muscle. 

“We have a doorbell, you know?” Miles shrugged.  “Is that anyway to greet your honored guest?!” He hissed. They awkwardly looked at each other, before Malcolm took a deep breath and smoothed out his hair. He clearly still had a bone to pick with Miles after they’re last encounter.

“Of course mister Morfran, please come in.” He stood back and allowed him to enter. His eyes immediately shot around the house wildly.

“Looking for something?” Charles asked. He approached with his arms crossed behind his back. 

“Yeah! Is that table new?” He asked, nodding towards the coffee table.

“No, that’s been sitting there for thirteen years. I trust your trip down here was fine?” He asked.  

“Oh it was dreadful! We had to pass a town, and it looked awful! They have these things called drive-throughs, can you imagine not sitting down at a five star restaurant?” He said, repulsed. 

“No, no I can’t possibly imagine that.” He smiled. 

“So! Old friend, how’s thing going? Eh?” He gave his usual toothy grin.

“Things are going lovely! Thank you. Come on now.” He nodded towards the dining room. Malcolm took off his hat and carelessly tossed it at the man with him, who caught it effortlessly. 

“How’s a certain someone?” He flashed a grin, still scanning every room as he followed down the long hallway. 

“Mia is doing great! She’s a lovely secretary.” Charles smiled.

Malcolm let out a low growl, before he could get anything else out, Charles flung the door open, revealing a beautiful decorated dining room. A long table sat in the center, with a red cloth covering it, with a loose white woven detailed cloth sat over it. Candles were lit, and the chandelier shone bright, the room had a warm yellow glow to it.

Malcolm grumpily took his place at the end, while Charles took his on the other. Liam walked in pushing a large silver container, and unpacked large amounts of food onto the table.

“Charles? You got your first Pet and you’re not showing him off? I like to dress mine in fancy outfits and have them serve drinks. Really shows off their obedience!” He complained.

“That’s not quite my style.” Charles shrugged.

“Is that so? I haven’t found a new favorite yet, by the way. I’ve been searching, and training, and digging through my endless supply, but none of them are good enough!” He yelled, slamming a knife hilt shaking and clattering the whole table. Liam annoyingly cleared his throat, as he tried to set food onto the table.

“Liam! I’m glad you’re still busy, I always loved your cooking. You always cook and season everything perfectly.” Malcolm complimented. Liam tried not to look uncomfortable, as he pulled out a large roasted turkey. 

“My thanks, mister Morfran.” He bowed politely. 

“My offer still stands if you want to leave this place and come work for meeee!” He sang, aggressively stabbing a fork into a turkey slice. 

“As much as that honors me, I’ll have to pass.” Liam smiled. 

‘Ahh, pish posh.” Malcolm waved his hand in disappointment, before viciously tearing into the turkey. "I'll give you another chance to return Michael." He added through a mouthful.

“Malcolm, are you here to talk business, or to poach my entire household?” Charles raised a brow and took a sip of a drink Liam had poured. 

“Well it was worth a shot. Yeah, I got something for you right here.” He snapped his fingers twice, as his guard approached Charles. Miles stepped between the two, and stared the man down. The guard pulled a file from his coat, and handed it to Miles, without breaking eye contact. He plucked the file from the man’s hands and passed it to Charles behind him, still refusing to break the contest. Despite the man being a foot taller than him, he wasn’t going to back down in his own house.

Charles opened the file and took a moment to read. He slapped closed the file and slammed it into the table.  “What is this!?’’ He asked angrily. 

“That’s a deal for a removal on the covert rule.” He smirked.

“What’s your plan here Malcolm?! The covert rule is what’s keeping this business safe! If we get loud with our work it will attract attention! Do you want the government to start looking for us?” Charles growled.

“They’re already looking for us, they just don’t know where to look.” He smirked. “That’s exactly what the covert rule is doing for us!” He crossed his arms.

“Well I’m pitching that we stop silently living in the shadows, and get loud! Think of it as expanding the business! We can worm spies into the government and have people cover our tracks. Hah! Think about it, one day I might be able to walk my Pets out in public on a leash, and no one will bat an eye!” He laughed.

Charles slammed both hands on the table and stood. “This will never pass! There’s no way you’ll get everyone's vote! You’d be a fool to think you have mine!” He shouted. His voice could get scary when he was angry. He had that deep voice that could be either soothing, or booming.

“You’re vote? No no no, I already have three votes on my side! I just need a few more. Barron is swaying, sure, but I’ll get him to crack. I always do!” He hissed. 

Charles stayed silent, and quietly sat back down.

“It’s not a bad thing, old buddy, really. It will hardly change things for you. You work quietly, manipulating this and that with a phone call, or a click of a button. Me? Oh no no. I have to get out there and do dirty work. If someone gets caught, I’m the one who cleans up they’re mess. I’m the one who keeps the witnesses out of court. I’m the one keeping everything quiet!” He stated, shoving one past piece of turkey in this mouth. He stood up and lifted his drink with him, as he slowly walked around the table.

“If we got ourselves out there, and did our work publicly, people would fear us. We would run this town. We would run the world!” All we need is everyone’s support, and combine our companies, no one could stop us. No one would try. But don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t need you. As nice as it would be to have you by my side, I can do just as well with the rest of the companies.” 

Miles tapped Charles shoulder, who looked like he could murder someone.

“Malcolm’s bodyguard slipped out the door.” Miles whispered to him.

“What? When?” He whispered back.

Before he had a chance to reply, loud beeping blared through the house, as all the men jumped. Smoak could be seen seeping through the cracks of the door from the kitchen.

“Shoot!” Miles yelled. He opened the door, as smoke and heat shot out.

“Kitchen is on fire!” He called, as Charles jumped to his feet. 

“Fire department?” Miles asked.

“No! We can’t risk anyone investigating this place.” Charles said, grabbing a fire extinguisher from the door.  “You! Don’t go anywhere!” He called to Malcolm, who shrugged innocently. An evil grin spread across his face, as he swirled his drink in his hand, and enjoyed the show. when they seemed distracted, he slipped out the door.

“I’m coming baby...”

Tag list:  @lave-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @green-eyed-whumpster @grizzlie70 

Thank you for reading! <3 

[zouis-exes-to-lovers]

hi ok let’s unpack ur tags a little bit more (excellent point u brought up!!) it reminds me of the idea of making urself in the image of ur lover yk and the whole reciprocal thing and how chiron turns masculine like how kevin presented himself EVEN THOUGH the nickname was a term of affection and endearment (side note i cry thinking ab 16 year old kevin giving his best friend a nickname because he’s so in love with him and how chiron called him out on it and didn’t even realize and kevin was put on the spot and couldn’t say it but that was out of love and bestie!!!!) and the way kevin turns gentle and sweet like chiron was like they become each other as adults and i think even though chiron adopts black as a hard cover having it as his license plate is really a reminder of the nickname and how he used to be growing up and that vulnerable soft person..... like ugh i can’t even explain it but the nickname becomes poison when kevin actually admired how chiron was anything but. also i’m on a walk rn so this might not be coherent and i probably have more to say i can’t articulate skdjsk

hi! YEAH EXACTLY!!!! yeah that post about making yourself the image or your lover, thanks for reminding me of that! totally!!! 

and the whole masculinity thing, i think that maybe even though Kevin admired how gentle and sweet chiron was, at the same time he didn’t know how to deal with that... how he protects chiron but still demands (that’s not the right word ik, I just couldnt think of the right one, sorry) some performance of masculinity out of him (like at the field scene, how he looks out for little and right after tells him he should toughen up). there’s just two different worlds and Kevin can kinda navigate them both but his younger self doesnt really know how to do it properly, and he messes things up (the fight scene, etc), and how in the middle of it all chiron gets confused as well (like he believes that that hard cover could be the answer), you can see him making the decision to “change” after the fight... idk if im making sense once again sdkjfskdjfhk (I dont think I made myself clear by the end of it but yeah) also what you said about the beach scene about kevin being there in a vulnerable moment and caring and worrying about chiron but still saying that he doesn’t cry, maybe once again performing masculinity (and that kinda does break chiron a little bit)... idk idk gotta organize my thoughts a little better sdklfjhsdlk

“how chiron turns masculine like how kevin presented himself EVEN THOUGH the nickname was a term of affection and endearment (side note i cry thinking ab 16 year old kevin giving his best friend a nickname because he’s so in love with him and how chiron called him out on it and didn’t even realize and kevin was put on the spot and couldn’t say it but that was out of love and bestie!!!!)” IK IK!!!!!! exactly 😔

yeah, I guess kevin kinda learns how to navigate both worlds, he learns who he is in some important ways (him talking about actually having a life yk)... and chiron... well... I might have some  thoughts (specially about the fight scene and what comes after but they’re all a mess sldkfjsldkf idk how to explain rn)

“even though chiron adopts black as a hard cover having it as his license plate is really a reminder of the nickname and how he used to be growing up and that vulnerable soft person....” yeah, yeah... 

“i can’t even explain it but the nickname becomes poison when kevin actually admired how chiron was” SUNNY!!!!! please!!! (but yes exactly!!!)

sdkjsdkjfh dont worry, im just out here having incoherent thoughts myself... (but I do agree w everything you said <3)

[mustardyellow]

UGH i feel like i have to grapple with the remnants of my teenage insecurity because i never properly healed from it and now as an adult who grew up as the “ugly friend” i have to deal with very lame thoughts & body dysmorphia and self love is so very difficult when u feel like u are not worthy or warm enough to be loved. This sudden self awareness means that i have to unpack so much of what i have carried in the past and that is so emotionally exhausting. Truthfully i cannot wait to not have so much time w my thoughts. i want be a cloud

[alysmarylin]

The fic you've been waiting for

Crowley avenging his beloved angel - Sandalphon got what he deserved (don't thank me, reblog instead)!!!!!!!!

Crowley and Aziraphale were unpacking the stuff they bought on a big shopping Sunday, and to this very day Crowley can't remember why and how they ended up talking about Aziraphale's, well... Ex-kin.

"I kinda enjoyed Michael", Crowley laughed. "Rather good-looking. Uriel, on the other hand..."

"Don't get me started on Uriel and Sandalphon", Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "I hate their guts"

"Sandalphon was a tough prick, I remember. And uglier than Belzebub", Crowley sneered.

"You don't say. He works in my place now, homophobic son of a... They couldn't have picked a worse candidate", Aziraphale said in a somewhat hurt voice. 

"Don't worry, angel. Soon enough, he will receive some beating from locals, I tell you"

"Yeah, I should've definitely punched that bastard back", Aziraphale muttered under his nose quietly, angrily. 

" Yeah, you bet...", Crowley laughed and then stopped abruptly. "W-w-wait, wait-wait-wait. Back? What do you mean, back?". Crowley stood up from the floor and stepped up to Aziraphale. 

" Nothing, really"

"No, not nothing". Crowley's eyes were widened in shock. " Do you mean, that, that piece of shit HIT you?!"

Aziraphale lowered his eyes. It looked like the memory wasn't pleasant. Crowley was gasping.

"When? When did it happen? How come I didn't know?", Crowley was not yet angry but more frightened. " Angel, look at me. Talk to me. Someone battered you and I know nothing of it?!"

"No one battered me. I was walking back to my bookshop and Michael, Uriel and... And he approached me, I was questioned..."

"Where the Hell was I?" - Crowley asked, astonished.

"You drove home", Aziraphale said quietly and sadly.

Crowley tilted his head backward and sighed with despair. "I should've known... ". He lowered his head and looked at Aziraphale with sadness and pain. Aziraphale looked confused and lost.

" What did he do? Tell me, angel", Crowley stepped closer, putting his hand on Aziraphale's arm, leaning closer. "Tell me. He's dead"

"Don't you dare, Crowley, we got away and I won't..."

"What did he do to you? What? Why didn't you tell me? I was up there, I saw him, I could've..."

"Because I didn't want you to", Aziraphale answered bitterly. " I needed you to be concentrated and cool-headed. You freed me from them, same as I did for you. That's all that matters"

"No, it's not. You look sad, you look hurt", Crowley said, cupping Aziraphale's cheek. " Otherwise you would've forgotten".

"He punched me in the stomach, alright?", Aziraphale said with a lump in his throat. His lower lip trmbled a bit. "It wasn't as painful physically as it was humiliating".

Crowley looked down on his angel's belly - soft, beautiful, beloved and precious - and everything before his eyes suddenly became red as blood.

"I told you because I trust you, but if you dare approach him or pull out something stupid like that, I will leave you, Crowley", he heard Aziraphale's voice from some distance.

"Do you hear me? Answer me, Crowley"

Crowley felt his head filling with lead from within.

"I will not approach him. I swear it"

"Good", he hears Aziraphale say. " I'll finish unpacking"

Crowley stopped Aziraphale, holding him by the arm. He embraced him from behind, wrapping one of his arms around his chest and putting his hand gently on the angel's belly. He buried his nose in his soft blonde curls and muttered: "I love you".

"I love you too", Aziraphale answered softly, "Now let me finish".

Crowley looked at him, picking up paper bags and arranging the stuff around the room, looking small and soft and lovely. Somehow it made his silent rage all the more burning and red became crimson in his eyes. He swore he wouldn't approach that sick fuck who laid his dirty hands - no, he couldn't bear to think of it - on Aziraphale

... But he said nothing of his friends.

***

Crowley pulled his hood further on his forehead

"Pleasure to see you, Jay. You look like a heroin addict in that hoody", said Phil. 

"I have to hide my hair somehow. Rare color"

Crowley was nervous and feeling restless.

"Yep. You're drop-dead gorgeous lad, we get it. To what I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to track someone down. Name's Saldanphon but he changes his IDs every now and then. You'll have to check for anything similar. Don't have a picture, but I draw him", Crowley laid a piece of paper on a table. The drawing looked fairly accurate. " Looks middle-aged, a bit fat, bald, ugly, has a golden tooth. A homophobe might be hanging around gay bars and the likes to preach or intimidate or whatever he does. That's all I have as of now".

"Well", Phil sighed " It's doable. But it will take a while. Any family?"

"No, none at all"

"I see. The golden tooth is indeed something". Phil looked at Crowley's hand. "You got married?"

"Ugh, yeah", Crowley answered looking around. " You know how to, ehm, tell me of the progress?"

"I've been around longer than you", Phil said wearily, and Crowley had to keep his mouth shut on that remark, " You'll know when I find something. Just one more thing. This, ehm, funny-named morality apostle. What exactly are you planning? He's gonna go?"

"No, not go", Crowley said with sheer disappointment "Plainly be taught a lesson. He put his shitty hands where he shouldn't have".

"Are you gonna call our mutual friend?", Phil raised his eyebrows. " If you want to make it clean, it's the best way. They'll never track his men down. Just food for thought, Jay. A piece of advice from the old man"

"That sounds reasonable", Crowley nodded, as if he had had any idea what to do next when he came to Phil, " I'll think about it. Thank you. Wanna count?". He put a book - a fake book, of course - on a table.

"Here? Oh, please. Trust me, if I don't find what I intend to find here, you'll know", Phil put a book in his bag and stood up. " Have a nice day, kid. Next time, wear something else"

Crowley waited for ten more minutes before leaving the diner. It was only when he was in a crowdy underground station when he put the hood off. He had to be cautious. For everyone's sake.

 

***

 

"Do you really think it's a good place, Jay?", said a tall and broad bald man in a leather jacket, trying to sit comfortably on a bench by a pond.

"The best one, in terms of privacy", said Crowley, looking grimly from his hood. " So. You said you owe me a favor all the way back from 1999. I didn't need anything for a long time, but now..."

"How do you manage to look so young, you sick bastard?", the man asked, chuckling, trying to look at Crowley's face. " You look just like my son, and that sad excuse of an heir is 27 now, not something you could tell by the way he speaks, though, I'd give him 10  in that department, still... How old are you, anyway?"

"I use a strong sunscreen. And I have good genes. Good, hardworking Irish people, my entire family. Will you listen or not, Patsy?"

A bald man stopped laughing and sighed.

"Of course. What seems to be the problem?"

"Our mutual buddy, Phil, tracked down a guy I need you to deal with. Here's what I've got on him", Crowley took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to a man without so much as looking at his side. " I want your people to teach him a lesson. He's gotta stay alive. I can't be seen. But I need to watch it from a distance. I know you're ready to do this, but still" - Crowley took out something that looked like a book and put it on Patsy's lap still without looking at him - "this is some additional motivation for you, or a token of a good will, if you wish to call it that way".

Patsy put down an apparently-book-thing in his suitcase and opened a piece of paper. He looked at Crowley, frowning.

" What kind of a lesson do you want him to be taught, exactly?"

"If your boys will do it properly, he'll need new teeth", Crowley said, finally turning his head to his counterpart, looking him in the eyes from beneath his shaded. "The whole damn package. And the old ones, I want to have them. Every single one. Especially the golden one. No internal bleeding, no injuries to any organs. You can break a couple of ribs, but carefully. As you wish. But I need his teeth"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jay", the Patsy man said, looking flabbergasted. " What did this son of a bitch did to you so you became such a butcher"

"He laid his shitty hands where he shouldn't have", Crowley hissed, grinding his teeth. His hands clenched in fists.

" You didn't tell me you were married. Was this your wife?", Patsy asked warily.

"I have no wife, but I am indeed married", Crowley answered. " I know you're one of the few people of your occupation who don't look down on things like that. I love him. But I swore I won't touch this bastard myself. I don't have much choice, Pat"

"I'm sorry it happened to your, well, spouse", Patsy said carefully. " But the guys that I have in my crew are not as open-minded as I wish they were. You know it yourself. Ours is not the most prestigious job. I'll do this favor, but when you're sitting in a car with them, better keep the personal personal". 

They shook hands.

"I'll be waiting for your call. You know which number to call, and which not to", Crowley said, standing up. "I'm looking forward to seeing your team at work".

 

***

 

Crowley was staring into the field glasses, trying looking at two tall men in leather jackets dragging a bald man resembling Sandalphon, gagged and tied up, to a torch on the abandoned parking lot. The jeep where Crowley and his associates were sitting was right in its darkest corner.

It was Christmas Eve, the 24th of December. The snow was falling gloriously, but the place was too grim and damp for the fairy-tale-like spirit.

“You see them, Cap?”, a young driver, sitting by Crowley’s side asked.

“It looks like him, but I need insurance. I remember his voice. Call them”

One of the guys on the backseat dialed a number and one of the bouncers took the phone.

“Our cap wants so be sure it’s the guy. Let him speak”

He turned on the speakerphone. Soon enough Crowley heard Sandalphon screaming something like:

“I’ll give you anything you want, please, untie me, I need my hands, I…”, before Crowley nodded and Sandalphon became silent again. The phone was turned off and Sandalphon was dragged to a small staircase, and Crowley had to pay very close attention, looking into field glasses again, to recognize what was going on.

“Are you sure your people can do ALL the teeth in one go?”, he asked a bit unsurely.

“You insult us, Mr. Jay. It is our signature. One strike, all teeth. Leaves a strong message”, murmured a young man behind him.

“Well, then…”, Crowley started, but then he saw something rather outstanding, that made him make a certain sound: “Oi, woah… That was surprising… Alright, gentlemen, pardon me for my previous skepticism. I take that back. On second thought, I even refuse to take, the, ehm, the evidence”

He then heard his phone ring. It had to be Aziraphale. He had to answer. He quickly took the phone and blurted:

“Angel, honey, I can’t talk, I’m very busy, buying you a surprise, I’ll call you back in ten, love you”, without letting him even say a word. He figured out it would be more secure.

“Wife?”, asked a second young man, with a smile.

“Yeah. Sort of. Listen, I think I’d rather be going, are they done with the teeth? At the end of the day, I’ll think I’m more than happy without them. I don’t wanna take ‘em. I saw what you did, it was amazing. Drop me at the underground station, please… Else my, ehm, spouse, will be suspecting something, which I don’t fancy, like, at all”.

 

Crowley was very relieved when they drove away.

 

***

 

Crowley thought he had never had such a lovely Christmas morning. Angel was by his side, in his lovely tartan pajamas, they were tucked under the blanket, sipping tea and lazily switching the channels on telly.

“I thought I hated Christmas”, Crowley said quietly, as he lowered his head to Aziraphale’s, planting a soft kiss on his temple. “Now you made me love it. What next, angel?”

“You’ll stop wearing all black?”, Aziraphale answered, with a sarcastic smile.

“Naah, not in this life and not in the next”, Crowley said leisurely, switching the channels. Then he saw the news.

“… The victim of this horrific Christmas assault is alive, but severely traumatized – his teeth were…”

That was something Crowley didn’t account for – the bloody news.

“Ugh, what is it with these people”, he said with a trembling voice, trying desperately to sound casual, turning the telly off. “It’s only violence on this television, I’ll better put on some music. And make you some tea”, Crowley said, standing up.

“Dear boy”, Aziraphale said softly. “I’d like some tangerines. Would you be so kind as to bring your husband a plateful of those?”, he smiled. Crowley looked like he was melting from the inside.

“Every time you say the h-word I can’t say no to anything, angel. I’ll be in 15, a’right”

Crowley sighed with relief as he stepped into the kitchen. He was off the hook now, but some time from now, the angel might still learn about what happened. Will he be able to understand?

“All I did, I did for you”, Crowley thought in pain. “I love you so much I couldn’t stop it. He had to pay, my love, he had to”. Crowley felt tears fill his eyes, as he was putting tangerines in a bowl, but he was able to will them away. “I’d kill for you, I’d die for you, Aziraphale”, he thought with anguish. “I hope you know that whatever comes. I hope you will forgive me for what I had to do”.

 ***

 

With Crowley gone, Aziraphale was finally able to read the newspaper.

 

“Broken teeth, that’s a good take”, he thought smugly, as he read the weekly crime report. “See, Sandalphon. What goes around, comes around, next time you want to apply brutal force to your… arguments, better remember this, no? Though I doubt there will be the next time”

Aziraphale smirked. What his husband lacked in logic and cautiousness, he made up in loyalty and protectiveness. Blind loyalty and fierce protectiveness.

“You’re such an idiot, Crowley”, Aziraphale thought tenderly. “Really, A-J? To think I wouldn’t know? Me, famous Mr. Fell of Soho?”

That very evening, when he received a phone call from Phil and heard of some “heroin junkie looking” guy calling himself “Tony Jay” or “A J”, or, God have mercy, “Jay”, of all things, he knew it has to be Crowley.

“Wearing a black hoodie on top of his shades, really. It’s a miracle he didn’t get busted for drug possession”. Maybe it was indeed a miracle.

Truth be told, he wasn’t angry. He couldn’t approve openly, but there was a certain warmness in knowing that a homophobic golden-toothed prick who assaulted him now got what was coming for him.

“But I can’t encourage this sort of behavior in Crowley”, he thought, hiding his smile. “Now, dear boy, you need to control your impulses. At least, most of the time”.

Still, Aziraphale knew that he was one of the luckiest men – well, not really men, but… - alive, for his partner would stop at nothing to protect him.

“If only he would’ve acted a bit cleverer… Well, I suppose you can’t have it all. He’s beautiful, caring, kind, sweet, fiercely loyal and sexy as Hell, in the most literal sense of this word. It’s only natural he has to be a complete idiot to not let me forget myself. Oh, he brought me the cannoli the other day… This boy watched The Godfather too many times”.

 

“Angel!”, Crowley said, entering the room with a bowl full of tangerines. “What are you smiling at?”

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have you, dear boy”, Aziraphale answered with a loving smile.

[aedwritesfic]

Socks Aren’t Just For Feet

Pairing: Harry Potter/Fred Weasley

Prompt: “It’s not mine, I swear” — “How is it not fucking yours?"

WC: 902

A/N: AU where Fred survives and Harry/Ginny didn’t happen. 

C/W Mentions of PTSD and referenced self-harm.

Read on AO3 Here

“It’s fucking freezing!” Fred exclaimed as he rushed into the cabin. Thankfully there were already dry logs in the fireplace,  all he had to do was throw a quick Incindio and warmth quickly engulfed the room. 

“It’s nice though, right?” Harry asked, shutting the door behind him. “The perfect place to get away from it all for a while.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Fred chuckled. 

Fred had been in a funk for weeks. The Mind Healer said that he suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress. Fred was sure that a lot of people did, especially those who had fought in that final battle, but everyone else seemed to have it all together. The nightmares and inability to sleep felt par for the course, but no one else seemed to have emotional outbursts or feel like they had to constantly be on guard. He felt as though he always had to be “on” when around others. They expected him to be happy and constantly joking around, so he delivered. But when he was alone, he just felt numb. Fred hid it well though; even George was fooled, but not Harry. 

Harry had been the one to notice, to see beyond the veneer. He cut through all the bullshit and practically dragged Fred to a support group for wix dealing with the aftermath of the war. Fred had been reluctant at first but slowly came to enjoy the meetings, learning tools to deal with his trauma, and finding the beginnings of normalcy.

The last few weeks, however, had been hell. Fred wasn’t sure exactly what triggered it, but it felt as though something inside of him had been severed. That something being whatever it was that processed emotions. Everything had been going so well and then--BAM--he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. All he wanted was to feel something again. Anything. He lost himself inside his mind fixating on ways to feel. Even if it was painful. He just needed that reassurance that the numbness was temporary. That he was, in fact, still alive.

Thin vertical scars covered his hips. They were easy to hide, but he had let them scar as a reminder, as proof that he could feel. He wondered if by taking a vegetable peeler to his skin he could strip away the layers upon layers of dullness, of isolation, of fear and dread. 

It wasn’t until he was standing over a hot cauldron contemplating pressing his forearm against the outside that he knew he needed help. 

Harry had come over immediately. He didn’t judge. He didn’t pity. He just sat with Fred, made sure Fred was safe, and listened when Fred was ready to talk.

While the intrusive thoughts steadily became less prominent in his mind, Fred still felt adrift-- unmoored. Harry seemed to sense it and had planned for a change in scenery. Some time away from it all where they could just be. No expectations. 

A few months after the war, Harry had purchased a small cabin on one of the uninhabited islands of the Hebrides. The man had been so bombarded with the press and adoring fans that he needed a place to retreat. It really was perfect, except for it being the middle of January and positively frigid.

Fred rested his socked feet in front of the fire, massaging them to try to get the blood flowing. “I’ve got a thick pair of socks, a warming charm, and I’m in front of the fire and my feet are still bloody frozen.”

Harry laughed while unpacking the bag of groceries. “I’ve got a few socks with warming charms knitted in. Top drawer of the wardrobe in the back bedroom.”

Fred leapt up and practically ran out of the room in search of his prize. 

“Um, Harry…” Fred said as he emerged from the hallway.

“Yeah?” Harry had his back to the man as he laid out ingredients for their dinner.

“What the fuck is this?”

Harry turned around. His curious look turned to one of pure embarrassment at the sight of the large knitted item in Fred’s hands.

“It’s not mine, I swear!” he choked out. 

“How is it not fucking yours?" Fred asked, “It was in your socks and pants drawer and it’s not the only one.” 

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out.

“Is this what I think it is?” Fred cracked a grin.

“I don’t know, depends on what you think it is.”

“What I think it is,” said Fred, “is a willy warmer knit to look like a stag.”

“Then you would be right,” Harry mumbled.

“Why do you have at least half a dozen willy warmers all made to look like animals?”

Harry blushed furiously and avoided eye contact, “An ex got me one as a laugh, but then…well, I like them. They’re fun.”

Fred nodded and took a closer look at the dick sock made to look like a stag, antlers and all. It suddenly occurred to him just how large the garment was. His mouth ran dry at the thought of how large Harry must be to be able to properly fill it out.

“Are these made to order?” he asked.

Harry seemed to have picked up on the shift in mood. Fred caught a predatory glint in the man’s eye and swallowed audibly. 

“Of course,” Harry said. “Why? Would you like me to model them for you?”

[the-fiction-witch]

Halloeen 20: footsteps

REAL LIFE COUPLE TBS X READER RATING SMUTT

When I arrived I smiled, at the lovely London house, the old Victorian building work perfectly from the kerb, the gloom and grey of London's sky made the house creep back from the world slightly as if it was hiding within the grey. I got my old golden key from my pocket and smiled checking the address was correct. I stepped forward from the paved roadway onto the cracked grey path, with little weeds growing out the cracks and grout of the pavement stones. I lifted the lock on the cast iron black gate pushing it open with a high whine and a scratch as it marked the red brinks on the ground, I went in and shut the gate behind me, looking at the slightly over grown front garden of my side I would have to deal with that soon, on the other side was a fairly neat lot of grass with a bush in the corner of the fence, a potted plant by the door and window, and the path to there door and the garden behind the house, I saw a motorbike parked in that little Gally way between front and back garden it looked nice and we'll looked after, I went to my little door putting the key in. As I did I saw a movement out the corner of my eye i looked and saw the window of nextdoor the nets where moving slightly as if someone had peaked out, I'm not surprised I suppose nosy londoners having a look at me I suppose until the door opened and I jumped a little surprised at the tall thin man who came out,

His golden and brown hair clearly fixed with his hands, his face youthful and sweet seemingly, his brown eyes cute as he looked at me, his hands dirty like he had been working as he gripped the frame of his door, he had a blue triumph shirt so faded it was hard to recognise Hugging him snuggly his arms thin and strange I felt as if my wrists where bigger almost, his black jeans hugged his legs so close I wondered how he even got them on without witchcraft Being involved somehow, he blinked a few times looking at me

"Hello?" I smiled

"Who are you?" He asks

"I'm y/n, I'm just moving in" I replied

"Moving in? Your going to be living...next to me?" He asks and I nod "is it... Just you?" He asked and I nodded "I'm Thomas" he smiled coming closer and offering his hand on happily took it meeting him properly "did you want any help? Moving in and all?" He offers

"That would be nice" i smiled

I did love this little house, so vintage, gothic and beautiful, I stood unpacking my things into the new places in this house I'm not sure where Thomas is? He came over again today to help me unpack some more even if I insisted I was alright, I sent him to the dishes an hour ago, I don't have that many dishes and things, what's taking him so long?

As soon as I finished up with this I went to the kitchen but he wasn't there I heard footsteps upstairs so I rushed up and found my bedroom door open, one of the rooms I insisted Thomas wouldn't help with, I met him not even a week ago I'm not letting him near my personal things. But he was in there I could hear him muttering things to himself so I burst in and he hid something behind him turning to me

"Y/n! What are you doing up here?" He asks

"My house, my bedroom Thomas, better question would be what are you doing up here?" I explain

"I uhh I thought I heard something" he says "I wanted to make sure it wasn't a burglar or something worse" he explained

"What have you got behind you?" I ask

"Ohh uhh nothing y/n" he says showing his hands empty

"Uh, okay" i nod taking him back downstairs with me

I sat in my bed on his cold, stormy London night. The wild howling like mad, hungry wolves, hitting into the side of my house and thought the haunting tree in my garden. The rain battering my roof and windows harshly the noise of the rain inescapable. The Street light outside was out leaving the only light the flicking candle, orange and pink glow of the tealight candle in my salt lamp beside my bed. And the sudden flashes of lighting in the sky, thunder following behind it meaning the storm was here to stay atleast for Tonight.

The power is out and my house seemed.... Frighteningly quiet.

No TV, no music, no cooking, no kettle boiling, no hum of standby electronics, the fire downstairs long dead in this rain, just me alone in this silent storm.

I lightly shivered as I had only worn my little strap shirt and pink panties to bed but I had my soft duvet against me and my two snuggly blankets.

I moved turning away towards my other pillow Hugging it close tying to fall into my dreams when I heard a noise.

It sounded as if the rain was heavier, louder even but I thought little of it, I could hear the dripping of water perhaps a sink is dripping somewhere in my house but then...footsteps up my stairs. I froze, unsure, scared, confused when I heard my bedroom door creak open but quickly Shut again, I squeezed my eyes shut trying to look asleep. I was confused as I heard this person step so quietly like they where trying not to wake me I heard steps and breaths gentle and slow I felt that breath against my skin and tried not to flinch

"Y/n? Are you awake?" I heard Thomas ask but he sounded strange not his normal voice like a haunting shell or memory of what was before I didn't move I didn't want to, what was he doing here? Was he just coming to check up on me in the storm? Is it because of the power out? How did he get in? Why wouldn't he knock? Why wouldn't he call out for me? Why wouldn't he call? What was he doing on my room? "Umm your so beautiful when your sleeping" he smiled moving some hair from my face "like a little innocent angel" he smiled as I felt his fingers on the skin on my arm "hummm no lacy, silky nightie Tonight?" He asked and I froze a shiver down my spine, lacy silk nightie? How does he know about that I only wear I nights I feel a little... lonely and want a little fun with myself or my toys. "That's alright darling, I'll make do" he smirked I felt a kiss on my cheek he was as cold as ice and still I felt compelled not to move I felt my covers move away revealing me to the cold air and his hand slip up my skin "awww goosebumps, my poor girl all cold don't worry I'll be in bed soon" he whispered kissing my head I didn't move still even If I was struggling not to shiver his hand skirted around my hip before I felt a tug on my panties I froze unsure I wanted to stop him but I couldn't bring myself to stop him I felt a ice cold blade slip between the cotton of my panties and my skin cutting the cotton, he did this in a couple places before slipping them of me "you sleep beautiful" he smirked kissing me softly I felt him press his throbbing cock against my back "Ummm I can't wait any longer you beautiful temptress" he smirked going to push inside me but I screamed and jumped out my bed making him jump and fall out my bed "your awake!" He yelled "what the hell! Scaring me like that!"

"Scaring you! Your the one who broke into my house! In the middle of the night! And cut my underwear off!" I screamed

"I thought you where asleep!"

"That's not an excuse you asshole!"

"Come on... to can't blame me y/n, I can hardly control myself around you and.... seeing you tucked in bed like that, how am I meant to resist you" he smirked

"Wake me next time"

[luobingmeis]

so i’ve got an amnesty theory

and i had to wash off some negative feelings in the shower so i had a lot of time to think on this so, forgive me, bc this might get a bit long

but i think what travis/aubrey said was right, that this particular abomination looks almost staged, that it’s meant to be scary. and, with that, i think someone is targeting the pine guard/amnesty lodge.

bc, just think, a blonde vampiric woman (suspect: dani) walks into the hornet’s nest (motive: jake coolice’s ex friends) and commits an act so grusome and literally monstrous (evidence that ties into monstrous acts: the cryptonomica) that it can’t be ignored by kepler. it’s meant to be scary and look monstrous because it is.

but, first, let me backtrack: the abominations. as they had said in the episode, the other abominations looked like accidents. the beast looked like a bear and, with that, any fatalities could be a bear attack. if calvin owens drowned in the pool bc of the water monster, it would look like just that: he drowned while training. the calamity tree was literally made to make purposeful events look like accidents. no normal person would look at a bear attack, or a kid who drowned, or a car crash, and think “oh, it’s a monster.”

but a fanged woman who seemed to grow in size and literally mutilate and tear into bodies so badly that they’re unrecognizable? most people’s first thought would be, “oh, it’s a monster.”

and that’s where i think the targeting of amnesty lodge comes in. of course, this raises the question of if it’s dani. i don’t remember if it has been said in canon, but i highly doubt that dani has never left amnesty lodge. i’m pretty sure she’s been out in kepler before. and, since we know that kepler is a small town, there’s probably at least a few people that, in good lighting, could recognize her. so, for whatever reason, if dani wanted to turn on amnesty lodge/mama/pine guard/whatever, i think she would know how to do it.

but i don’t think it’s dani.

i think the abomination can shapeshift. we saw that happen with the terrifying gregor moment (which i have more to say on later) and it could be what happened with dani. perhaps the abomination incapacitated her, therefore feigning memory loss, and went and tore into the hornets.

so, to reiterate, i think this new abomination is targeting amnesty lodge, or is at least working for someone who wants to target amnesty lodge, which leads me to my next point: this abomination will perhaps be the most dangerous one yet

obviously all the abominations are dangerous. and, honestly, most of them were dangerous because of their abstract state. a beastly form that can absorb other animals and become a prime hunter? a water spirit that can infiltrate any place where there’s water? a tree that grows new timelines? it’s all scary bc it’s so inhumane and unpredictable. but this abomination can at least appear human. whether or not to say it actually is, it does a pretty damn good job at looking human.

this abomination has more autonomy than the other three ever could, and i think we’re about to enter a very interesting dichotomy between the monsters in amnesty and the abominations. bc, you know how when someone constantly says “this is fine” and, every time they say it, you believe them less and less? that’s kinda how i feel with mama constantly saying that the abominations and the monsters in kepler are nothing alike. now, i’m not saying that the residents in amnesty are these horrible, abominable creatures. fuck, ned trying to tell mama that when they were dealing with billy is fucking painful bc you can just feel how badly ned fucked up. no, i think we’re about to enter a part of the story where it’s shown that, while the abominations and the amnesty residents are not one in the same, one can become the other a lot easier than anyone else would like.

i think it’s also important to note that, if this is true, it means the abomination knows enough to be able to not just properly target amnesty, but also enough to know what’s going on w/ the pine guard at any time.

which leads me to my next point: i think someone, and perhaps that someone is the abomination, is watching amnesty lodge.

now, quickly, let’s break down the “normal” npcs that are, knowingly or not, involved in what’s going on with amnesty lodge:

leo: ex chosen one, already knows what’s going on, knew for longer than duck did. he already has a major role in the story, so i’m sure he’s fine

pigeon wilson: ngl i kinda forgot abt her, but she knows a lot. but, still, she had her “place” in the story in fighting the monsters, and i don’t think she’d try to target amnesty. if anything, she’d want to get involved w/ the pine guard, but i digress

calvin owens: a high school kid who was attacked and, against his will, dragged into all this shit. i honestly think he’s terrified and doesn’t want to get involved anymore

sheriff owens: knows more than he’s actually aware of, but he’s so fed up with ned and the cryptonomica that i don’t think he believes any of it yet. right now, i think he’s a source of tension in the story.

juno: knows that something is going on bc duck just happened to know that the train-thing was gonna crash. if im being honest, i don’t know enough about her to make a judgement call yet

the hornets: this one’s obvious, but i guess it’s good to note that keith knew the most first, but none of them know what’s fully going on yet

so, all these people (and forgive me if i’m missing some i don’t have the wiki pulled up) are people who have been directly involved one way or another. either they learned something from one or more members of the pine guard, or has taken part in monster hunting, or, in leo’s specific case, was a monster hunter

but there’s one npc left that ik we all love joking abt w/ his apparent obliviousness, but i think we should all start being just a bit more wary of: agent stern

now, this is where i myself am still piecing things together, bc i don’t necessarily think that stern is an abomination or is in cahoots with an abomination or what have you. but, honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he knows more than he lets on. bc, listen, i love the “bigfoot’s number one fan, agent stern, is served pancakes by bigfoot every morning and has yet to figure it out” joke just as much as the next person, but i think he might end up knowing a lot more than we think. i mean, for one, he’s living in amnesty, and has been for months. i’m not saying that he saw actual bigfoot walking out of the hotsprings, or opened a wrong door and found thacker, but there’s probably been some close calls.

(okay this is commentary from my proofreading but i just remembered the fucking creepy stunt “thacker” pulled when he seemed to be posessed and talking to aubrey through the speaker and that might be connected, might not be, but i don’t even have time to unpack that)

but, still, that’s not really what i think is happening. i don’t think stern is gonna show up one episode and be like, “aha! i knew it! i have been working with the abominations to figure out what you guys are doing!” no, per se, i think the abomination knows that stern is in amnesty lodge, and that stern works for the FBI in unexplained phenomena, and that stern is currently surrounded by unexplained phenomena.

which leads me to backtrack back to this abomnation: if the theory that i thought about while avoiding my feelings is actually true, this abomination knows a lot. this abomination knows to “become” dani, the explicit vampire in amnesty lodge. it knows that jake used to hang around with the hornets but now there’s some bad blood and, not only that, probably knows that aubrey threatened to burn keith alive (bluffing or not, she still said it). and this abomination is in kepler, home of cryptids and monsters and every other unexplained phenomena. 

but, with all that, this abomination seems to know the pine guard’s plans. like, it knew that they were going to the morgue!!! i don’t think “gregor” actually being not-gregor and the actual gregor being dead and the pine guard being there at that time was not some coincidence!!! whatever this abomination is, and as of rn i think it’s some shapeshifting thing, it knows a lot more than it should.

and then, to tie this all up in a messy bow, my personal thinking as to why this abomination is targeting amnesty lodge is this: to start conflict between the humans and the monsters. griffin has been dropping stuff everywhere about wars that broke out on other planets similar to ours/sylvane. janelle told aubrey that sylvane is not her world to save because of the war it could cause. 

i think abominations have a lot more awareness than we give them credit for, and i think this is how we’re going to start to see it. i think this abomination is following around the pine guard, feigning amnesty residents as suspects, and committing crimes that can be seen as motives because of the devastation it would cause. bc, it was said in the episode w/ regards to the hornets, if people knew that monsters were real and living in the town, would they stop at just the “bad” monsters, or would they do anything to be rid of all of them?

which this, i think, can raise the questions as to why this abomination would want to cause war, or if it’s against sylvane or against kepler or against both worlds in general, but i don’t even know if i’m right in any of this and i don’t want to make this post any longer than it already is

but, still, thanks for coming to my ted talk