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#purely familial love
crow-kit · 6 months
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two types of siblings
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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kookies2000 · 1 year
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As someone who grew up in a household where men were never allowed to show affection, let alone to another man, from fear of being seen as weak.............
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These forehead touches between friends/bros are so healing to me. Please, we need more of this. Platonic affection between men is beautiful, and I wish I had grown up with it.
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kasieli · 1 year
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Poppy and Ominis deserve the world thank you and goodnight
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libraryofgage · 10 months
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Decided to combine 4 and 12 of the prompt list! Something about these two prompts was giving me major Addams Family vibes, so I rolled with it lol
If there are any other prompts you want to see written, lemme know!
4. “You know I’d do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.”  
12. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.”
Wherein the Munsons are branches on the Addams Family tree, and Steve finds himself the object of Eddie Munson's flirtations and devotion.
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When the Munsons move in next door, Steve sits his brother down in the living room and says, "Don't bother them, Dustin. Wait, like, three days before asking for their life stories."
Dustin looks offended, to say the least. "I wasn't gonna ask for their life stories, Steve. I was gonna ask where they got all the bats and birds that hang out on their roof."
Honestly, Steve would love the answer to that, too, but that seems to be encroaching on the "life story" territory, considering the sheer number of flying creatures the Munsons brought with them. He'd been outside getting the mail when the Munson kids, a boy his own age and a girl Dustin's age, had opened a tiny cat carrier, and a veritable storm of black wings and feathers and screeching had somehow come streaming out of it.
The girl was watching them with a smile, and the boy turned around like he'd felt Steve staring. Their gazes met, and Steve's awkward wave was returned with the boy's eyes raking over him before winking with a grin.
"Look, ju-"
Steve's words are cut off by a banging on the door, the person knocking out a beat that he can't follow. He shoots Dustin a look to stay put before he opens the door to find the Munson boy on the other side. He's got that same playful grin and a plate of pitch-black...something in his hands.
"Uh, hi?"
Somehow, the boy's grin gets wider, and he shoves the plate into Steve's hands. "Heeeellooo, big boy," he says, his voice almost lowering into a purr that makes heat flood Steve's cheeks. "Wayne wanted me to drop off some of his famous arsenic and chocolate chip cookies. You know, since we're neighbors and all."
"Wayne? Arsenic?" Steve mumbles, looking down at the cookies warily.
"Our uncle," the boy says, leaning on the doorway and crossing his arms as he looks Steve up and down again. "Don't worry, it won't kill you. Yet. That's a friend of the family privilege, at least, and you just ain't there yet."
It must be a joke, and Steve lets out a strained laugh. He balances the plate in one hand and holds his other one out. "Right, well, uh, nice to meet you. I'm Steve. You'll probably meet my brother, Dustin, later."
The boy takes his hand, but instead of shaking it, he brings it up to his lips. Then he turns Steve's hand over, brushing his lips across the meat of his palm before nipping. Steve jerks, yanking his hand back and holding it close to his chest, his heart beating erratically as the boy says, "I'm Eddie, my sister's name is El, and I'm going to have so much fun with you, Stevie."
And with that, Eddie turns on his heel and saunters back to the Munson home, which had been painted pitch-black (just like the cookies) at some point. Steve doesn't move from the open door, feeling a faint tingling in his palm, until he hears Dustin shout that he's going to let all the cold air out.
The arsenic and chocolate chip cookies had not, in fact, killed either of them. And, despite their burnt-to-coal appearance, they were soft and chewy. It had immediately put the Munsons in Dustin's good graces, which he happily proclaimed while Steve's head and heart were still reeling from Eddie's introduction.
In the following weeks, Eddie kept popping up whenever Steve left the house. He never overstepped, though. He'd appear at a distance, wait for Steve to wave or say hi, and then approach with that big grin with canine teeth that looked a little sharper than they should. Sometimes he'd offer more baked goods from Wayne (always with some schtick to them: eye of newt brownies, hag's breath toffee, cyanide and cherry pie). On one notable occasion, he'd offered a baseball bat with nails stuck through the end.
"El let out a demodog the other day, so you probably ought to be careful. I'd hate for you to get hurt by something that wasn't me," Eddie had said as Steve confusedly took the bat.
He blinked when he had processed the words and looked up. "You would hurt me?" Steve asked.
Eddie had leaned close, his ringed fingers ghosting over Steve's side and inching closer to his waist, and whispered, "It wouldn't just hurt, Stevie." His words had sent a shiver down Steve's spine, his mouth suddenly dry as Eddie pulled away.
And their interactions had escalated from there. With every meeting, Eddie strayed closer, lingered longer, spoke softer, and Steve couldn't escape the growing devotion and fascination in his eyes. At some point, Steve knew, things were bound to boil over.
So, he definitely wasn't surprised when they did at the neighborhood's annual Fourth of July cookout. Eddie had waited until El and Dustin were distracted by their other friends, checked to make sure Wayne was sufficiently busy with helping at the grill, and then kidnapped Steve to a hidden corner of the Byers's yard.
Which brings Steve to the present, the Byers's house casting a long shadow over him and Eddie so nobody notices them. The sound of other kids screeching with delight and parents discussing summer camps fades when Eddie leans in closer.
"You know I'd do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything?" Eddie asks, tilting Steve's chin up as he crowds him against the wall.
Steve presses back against the cool brick, silently holding Eddie's gaze. There's a stark seriousness to his words, and Steve can't help his curiosity about just what anything encompasses. "Would you kill for me?" he asks, his voice soft.
Eddie practically lights up, a feral grin pulling at his lips. "Gladly, sweetheart," he purrs.
"Would you die for me?"
"I'd tear out my heart and present it on a fucking silver platter for you. In fact, I can do it right now, if you'd like." A knife appears in his hand from seemingly nowhere, and Eddie brings it to his own chest only for Steve to stop him by grabbing his wrist.
"Then, what about living for me?" Steve asks, carefully taking the knife from Eddie and smoothly returning it to the holder tucked into his jeans.
Eddie leans in until their noses brush, his hand cupping Steve's jaw. "I wouldn't even dream of dying without your permission, Stevie," he whispers.
And Steve would fucking love to meet the person who could withstand Eddie Munson's attention and flirting and gifts and care and sheer devotion without falling head-over-heels for him. Steve would want to put that person in a jar, study them, see if their indifference is something he could mass produce. He's sure Eddie would be thrilled to help him do it, too.
"I have one request," Steve whispers back, reaching up and pushing his hand into Eddie's hair, warmth rushing through him when Eddie leans into the touch.
"Anything. Say the word, and I wouldn't hesitate to crawl through hot coals and broken glass." Steve has zero doubts Eddie would; in fact, he knows Eddie would be ecstatic to do it, if only for the chance to make Steve smile.
"I want one of the bats. And Dustin wants a demodog, but you better make sure it doesn't hurt him, or I'll make you listen to bubblegum pop and watch a Disney marathon."
Steve can feel the shudder that goes through Eddie, his eyes revealing a mix of horror, pride, and love at Steve's words. "You, Stevie, have perfected the art of making threats. Consider your two requests granted and me sufficiently...threatened," Eddie breathes, somehow managing to press even closer.
And Steve can't make either of them wait a second longer. With a grin that can easily rival Eddie's, Steve kisses him and begins to think of names for his bat.
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5555-2368 · 2 months
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Ough. I love them so much. OughH.
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jt2304 · 1 year
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I really love him
💚
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dirtboy313 · 2 months
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nobody talk to me
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For his birthday, the twins decide to give Nicky a full family day just the three of them (maybe, just maybe, it was Bee's idea).
Nicky is so overjoyed at first that he doesn't know what to do. He wants to go somewhere fun but doesn't want the boys to hate him later or having to leave because Andrew threatened to stab someone. He definitely doesn't want to tempt Aaron either, and also they go clubbing every week.
He doesn't wanna choose somewhere far because they would spent lots of hours on the car in silence. But staying on campus seems boring.
Aaron and Andrew told him with a week to spare because they knew he would have trouble picking. But the days were getting closer and closer and Nicky hadn't choose.
Until he did.
"I wanna go to the park." He announced, a happy smile on his face and a full backpack of snacks and drinks over his right shoulder.
Andrew arched a brow in silence.
"And do what?" Aaron asked trying (and failing) not to sound so annoyed. He had to spect something like this from his cousin, it was his fault not to.
Nicky shrugged. "Spend the day together."
The twins looked at eachother as if decing wich one will get to roll his eyes at that statement.
"You promised." Nicky reminded them.
So that's what they did. They spent a full sunny and warm day in a nearby park, had a "picnic" of sweets and alcohol and played card games.
Nicky and Aaron competed about wich one would get higher on the swings when the amount of children on the games decreased. Andrew watching them from a bouncing horse. And then the three of them took a picture to send to Erik.
They looked happy. They looked like a family.
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dirtytransmasc · 5 months
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atwow hot take:
if jake had said his "son for a son" shit out loud and spider had heard him, he would have been so beyond pissed, he would be seeing red.
spider loved his little siblings so much, neteyam included, even after they grew apart. he loved them like they were his own blood and protected them like they were too (we see a lot more of them together in the comics, where spider is the big brother without a doubt). neteyam's death most certainly rocked him hard, even if he hasn't really been able to show it (how could he? he's already going through all the shit with his dad and the RDA and their nonsense, he can't grieve around neytiri, he's just so tired after it all. he doesn't have the room or the energy to grieve yet)
so if jake had the audacity to say that to/around spider not even a few hours after he watched his little brother get shot after coming to save him, after he stared at the bullet hole in his back, after he watched him take his last breaths, after he watched the light leave his eyes, after he watched his little brother die for him; if he said that while his little brother's body lay in a pool of his own blood not even ten feet away, not even cold yet, blood still clinging to his chest, the scent of it still filling the air: he would have lost his shit.
because the disrespect for his brother is wild.
jake was an active player in spider's neglect and abuse for the last 16 years, he let it happen, he helped it happen. he tried to send spider with the humans, tried to take him away from his siblings, from the forests, from eywa to live with his foster family that didn't love him (not to mention Nash was an asswipe of epic proportions) and the RDA of all people. he had referred to spider as a stray animal since he was little. he was the reason spiders life was hell.
and after all that, years and years of putting him in shit positions and allowing him to suffer the fate of being forever unloved and uncared for (by an adult authority figure, cause I love the kids, but they don't make up for the gap left by a parent), this is what it took for jake to care about him? his little brother had to die in front of him first? he had to be traded out to fill the space of a corpse, to fill in the gap left by his little brother's death?
in canon, spider was in deep in shock with nothing to break him from it, he wasn't in the place to really think about any of it, and I'm sure we're gonna see this anger in the coming movies, but if jake had said it out loud, that would have been enough to snap spider right out of it, and he would have given jake a piece of his mind, I just know it.
#he loves neteyam too much to let jake do that. to say that. he'd never allow it.#spider is such a good big brother. he loves his siblings too much.#if jake had said that to his face there would have been hell to pay. regardless of how out of it spider was with shock/grief/pure exhaustio#spider doesn't even care about the disrespect being done to him by that statement. he just cares about neteyam.#cause how could a father say that? how could he just move on. fill the gap with a “stray” as he puts it. take him in after all he'd done to#him? it wasn't fair#it wasn't fair to him and it most certainly wasn't fair to neteyam#I love spider. he deserves a family that loves him and wants him. he wants it. but this is not what either of us asked for.#that line has always rubbed me wrong. and it would have rubbed spi wrong too. I just know it.#I really hope we see spider express his rightful anger/disgust to this whole thing next movie#though I worry he will be too busy feeling guilty over everything and feeling like he just has to be grateful. but one can hope.#he deserves to be angry#and his dynamic with neteyam deserves to be explored. cause its a crime that it was ignored in the movie.#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#neteyam#neteyam sully#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#jake sully#I wanna punch that man so hard istg. I can't with him. I won't say I hate him. but lord have mercy I can't with him.#my baby boys deserved better#spider was neteyam's big brother. that's my agenda#we need to talk about them more
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I've been thinking about your fake cryptids real ghosts thing nonstop, rent free in my head. That's all
All according to plan! Here's another blurb because everyone in this fandom is a gift.
So, I for one can totally see the Batfamily trying to find out where Danny set up is Haunt in Gotham because Dead Ghost Child and the implications of their first meeting. Actually, let's talk about their first meeting because it's related.
Danny bringing gifts to the biggest shrine to declare his arrival. He brings Robin a cool knife he found in the GZ (Or maybe it was a gift who knows.) Point is, it's a spooky knife, and like...nice postcard of sunrises, blue skies and other Pretty places because man, the Bats don't ever leave Gotham and aren't seen in daylight hours what if they miss it or haven't seen it and some homemade (slightly ectro-contaminated cause it was made in the GZ) Bat-themed cookies. No one Knows they're bat-themed until Danny explains. (They look like those sad misshapen spider-man ice cream cones but god did Danny and Jazz Try and intentions are what matter here.)
They meet, Danny throws them into existential crisis' because Ghosts and of course they're trying to find him so they can (adopt him, make sure he's okay, ask what who's hunting him cause WHAT) And instead of the usual shenanigans of them meeting Danny as human or Phantom, the only one to ever meet Danny is Alfred.
Danny who got help from a really nice British guy when he was trying to figure out what to give as offerings to the Bats and might've been having a small crisis because 'what if they don't let us stay and we have to go to somewhere like eugh Metropolis.' and ends up latching onto the first Nice Adult he meets during said crisis.
Danny & Jazz who just so happen to bump into the the Nice Adult while grocery shopping (Alfred who has a schedule for the family shopping and Jazz who always says having a set routine is Healthy.) and the two keep trying to politely ask how to adult and do cooking because let's be real. While Jazz has done her best to feed herself and Danny a better diet the Fenton kitchen was a disaster zone and there's only so much you can do when you're food keeps trying to attack you. There's much more to your food than striking it back down after all.
Also here's another meme.
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chinelacanta · 6 months
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portgas pokemón :3
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alwayscaskett810 · 3 months
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figsandphiltatos · 3 months
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the raw power of gorgug and kristen synchronized second hand embarrassment is unspeakable
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billsbae · 1 month
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i love a good hogwarts au in every fandom i'm in, so here's my houses headcanons for atla
katara — gryffindor
sokka — ravenclaw
aang — hufflepuff
toph — slytherin
suki — gryffinor
zuko — hufflepuff
azula — slytherin
mai — slytherin
ty lee — slytherin
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becky5203 · 4 months
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I know JKR is a terrible person and you won’t catch me defending her but making Harry’s best friends mirrors of his dead parents was a galaxy brained move if ever there was one.
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