#pushing each other to the limits we were learning quicker

[heartofroses112]

Our Own Choices Deleted Scenes — finding Ahsoka and Rex, pt. 2

It was good they left the shuttle when they did. They’d only been moving for a few minutes, Rex hanging heavy and limp between the Commander and Echo, when Ahsoka felt a tremor travel through the ground and up her body. She stopped, craning her head over her shoulder to peer back at the crash site. It was hidden by a hill and the rocky terrain, but the smoke pouring into the air was a pretty obvious sign.

“We have to move faster,” she said, hands tightening around the hilts of her lightsabers. “They’ve found the wreckage.”

Bly glanced behind and cursed. “More like they blew up what remained.” He stretched his stride, trying to increase their pace without putting too much strain on the group. “Commander, Corporal, you got this?”

“Just keep the way clear, Marshal,” Echo grunted, adjusting his grip on Rex’s waist as the older man started to slip. “Kriffing- why did they have to give me a scomp link of all things?”

Ahsoka sent a wave of the Force to help Echo, determined to support Rex’s weight for as long as her focus let her. Echo grunted as Rex’s weight lessened. “Thanks, Commander,” he said over his shoulder.

The Commander said nothing, simply holding tight to Rex and picking up the pace, helmet lowered to avoid the treacherous divots and bumps in the ground beneath their feet. Ahsoka fought back the urge to reach out to him with the Force; he probably wouldn’t appreciate it, not now. Is it weird that I keep referring to him as the Commander? she wondered. I know it’s Cody. There’s no one else it could be. So why… She sighed internally. Because he’s not yet revealed himself to me. If he wants to stay hidden, stay concealed… I must respect that.

Ahsoka stared at the back of the Commander’s head, senses stretched to their limit as she used the Force to watch their backs. Master Obi-Wan is dead, she reminded herself, ignoring how it still hurt to remember him. And just as the 332nd turned on me, the 212th must have turned on him. Even with the chips, it can’t have been easy for him to have killed Obi-Wan. I mean, they were so obviously in love with each other.

She allowed herself a brief smile at the memories, Cody and Obi-Wan never far from the others’ side, nothing less than professional at all times. It had fooled Anakin, but anyone who actually knew either of the men could tell the depth of their feelings.

Anakin had never managed to separate his personal feelings from his duty to the Jedi and the Republic. It had benefitted her several times but… in the end… Padmé was still dead, and Anakin—

Ahsoka loosed a slow breath, washing away all thoughts of her former master. Lingering on the past would not help her now. She and… the Commander would need to talk about it all, but that could wait until after Rex was safe and there were no enemies on their tail.

Their new loping stride ate up the ground quicker than before, dust billowing in the air with the speed of their movement. She felt Bly pushing a sensation at her; the clones’ ship was just behind the next ridge. Had he learned how to do that with Master Secura? It’s a neat trick, especially when we have to stay quiet. Wonder why we never thought of it.

Despite all of their efforts to increase their movement across the hardened earth, they weren’t fast enough. A blaster bolt shot past Ahsoka and hit the dirt just a foot from Echo. He cursed loudly, half-turning to see where it had come from.

“Run!” Ahsoka shouted. “I’ll cover you, just go!”

“Commander—”

“Go!”

The bolts were beginning to rain down all around them, little explosions of dirt and grass all around them as the shots missed. But it was a near thing, and they couldn’t rely on the shitty aim of the enemies behind them.

Ahsoka turned, unclipping her ‘sabers and facing the hill that now rose up in front of her. A squad of stormtroopers, only about two dozen or so, approached, movement hindered by the slope of the hill and the rocks beneath their feet. She noted the aim of their blasters, and realized most were still firing at her friends despite her proximity to their group.

A grim smile crossed her face. Time to change that.

She ignited her lightsabers, and the harsh white glow filled her periphery. Ahsoka kept half her thoughts of her friends, Force still lightening the weight of Rex’s unconscious body. Once she was sure they had reached their ship safely, then she would join them.

But for now…

“Focus all fire on the Jedi!” The order reached her on a breeze. She scowled, rolling her shoulders and shifting her head enough that her hood fell down from her montrals. It wouldn’t be a difficult fight, but, with their numbers, it may take longer than she wanted.

Oh well. Anakin had trained her against this kind of situation. And while her feelings about her former master were… complicated at best, he had done well by her. And it was far past time to put his lessons into action.

She raised her lightsabers, falling into the familiar stance in which so many duels had begun—slight crouch, main saber held in a reverse grip and shoto held across her body. She felt flickers of unease from the Imperials before her. She let her smile widen. Good. They recognized the form of a trained Jedi before them. And they knew she would not be going down easily today.

What they failed to acknowledge was that a Jedi never fought harder than when she was protecting those who could not, the innocent, the injured, the weak. And when those injured where her friends… the Jedi would become a force of nature.

And Ahsoka was ready to rage.

As soon as the ship was in sight, Echo and Bly switched places. Echo bolted up the ramp, climbing the ladder as quickly as he could. He fumbled with the rail, scomp link banging against the metal with a loud clang. Cursing, he dragged himself up the rest of the way and spilled into the cockpit. He was throwing switches and hitting buttons before Cody and Bly even made it onto the ship.

“I’ll get Rex situated,” Cody said, voice muffled by the floor separating Echo from his brothers. “Bly, man the guns. Echo, get this bird off the ground! Tano’s going to need a pick-up!”

“Yessir,” he hollered back down the hatch. There was the telltale thud as the loading ramp shut, a hiss as the hold depressurized. Despite the situation, Echo couldn’t help the fierce smile that crossed his face. Odd, he hadn’t smiled like this in ages.

Echo also hadn’t thought Ahsoka Tano was alive in ages.

He’d not seen much of her in the dark cockpit, and her hood had concealed most of her features from view. But she was so much taller than she had ever been, montrals taller and lekku longer. She grew up. Not that he was surprised. It had been practically two decades since they had seen each other. 

Well, he was surprised, actually. As far as Echo had been aware, Ahsoka had perished along with the rest of the Jedi. When he and the rest of the Bad Batch had met up with Rex only weeks after the Order, the captain had never let on about Ahsoka’s survival. Had he not trusted them enough? Not even Echo?

No, more than likely, Rex had been protecting her even then. He never seemed to stop. Echo paused in his motions, hand resting over a lever. He’d never told Cody about Rex. All these years, at least five of those knowing that the Commander was Cody himself, and Echo had never once mentioned that Rex, Cody’s closest brother, had not perished in the Venator crash that killed the entirety of the 332nd.

He flushed even as he kicked himself back into gear. He would have to apologize to Cody later; he knew how much Rex’s loss had been hurting him. But to be fair, Echo hadn’t seen Rex in months. How was he to know if Rex had managed to survive all these years? Better to not get Cody’s hopes up. That’s why he hadn’t said anything.

Echo kicked himself. Stop making excuses, he told himself. Just admit you forgot and never thought about telling Cody. Accept you’ve been a terrible brother.

“Echo!” There was a vibration at the hatch as if Cody had banged his fist against the ladder. “Hurry it up!”

Echo cursed to himself, and, instead of responding to his CO, he flicked the final switch. The ship shuddered as it lifted off of the ground, landing gear sliding back into place within the ship’s interior. “We’re airborne, Commander!”

“Good!” came the response. “Take us over Tano and open the ramp when we’re near.”

“While we’re still in the air?”

“Come on, Echo, you fought with her more than I did.” Echo could hear the grin in Cody’s voice. “You know that gravity doesn’t apply to the Jedi.”

Echo laughed, stretching across the console and plugging his scomp link into the ship’s mainframe. He winced as the overload of information flooded his brain, but he cleared it quickly. With his left hand on the controls, Echo pulled their ship into the air.

Her heard Bly whoop from his position farther into the ship. Echo couldn’t help his own matching grin. Despite the stressful situation, despite the danger that they found themselves in, despite not knowing how the day would end, there was nothing quite as intoxicating as battle. The Kaminoans must have done something to the clones in creation to make them like this; Echo didn’t know any other species who reveled in action and exhilarating fights like Jango Fett’s clones did. Or maybe it was just Jango himself.

The ship’s controls vibrating beneath his hand, information pouring into his head through the scomp link. He scanned the screens around him before focusing his attention out the viewscreen. Echo angled the ship in order to afford himself a better view.

Oh, he’d forgot how amazing it was to watch a Jedi in action. Ahsoka would always be his little sister. But Force,was she beautiful like this.

Ahsoka twirled, twisting through the air in a corkscrew before she slashed her sabers across the chest of a stormtrooper. He crumpled, but she was already moving onto the next one. She jabbed and slashed and stabbed, and Imperials fell like dominos before her blades. A pair of troopers aimed their blasters at her, bolts flying through the air and flashing toward the Togruta. Echo sucked in a breath, preparing to shout down to Bly to open fire.

But he needn’t have worried. Ahsoka reflected their blasts into the troopers at their side, whirling with the grace of a well-practiced warrior. Echo remembered training sessions during breaks between missions, General Skywalker having a dozen brothers fire stun bolts at the Commander until she fell to the ground. He was glad to see those sessions had paid off.

“Echo! Bring us down!”

Echo jumped into action at Cody’s order, pushing the controls down. The ship dipped in the air faster than he intended, and Bly’s disgruntled squawk let him know his brother’s feelings on the drop in altitude. “Steady, Echo! Bring us down steady!”

“I’m doing a lot, up here, Bly! What are you doing, sir?”

“Oho, I see why Rex wanted you in his battalion!”

Echo grinned, sending a command for the ramp to lower. He felt the guns fire before he heard them, and then he watched stormtroopers fall, puffs of dust in every spot where Bly missed. Ahsoka moved easily around the helpful fire, twisting in ways that made Echo’s metallic joints ache.

“On my signal, Echo!” Cody hollered, voice barely audible over the whistle of the wind from the open hatch. Echo pulled his focus from Ahsoka outside, instead centering all of his attention on the controls; the jump to hyperspace would be rushed. He’d only have a few moments to make the calculations.

“Yessir!”

Cody clung to the handle by the open ramp, wind whipping around his body. His hair was barely longer than it had been during the war, and yet he was still going to have to fight with major tangles later. He should have left his helmet on, not discarded it as soon as they were on board the ship. But he had needed to see Rex with his own eyes, see the proof of his brother’s survival with absolutely no chance of a trick. One hand clenched tight around the rail, the other outstretched into the empty space where the hatch should be. He waited, heart hammering and breath ragged in his chest.

The familiar sound of blasterfire reached him from the outside, along with the long unheard hiss of a lightsaber. Why did it hurt so badly to hear that sound, the sound that once meant safety and peace and justice and comfort? Why did it only bring him to the past, a battlefield raging around him, his General guarding his back and never allowing any harm to come to him? Why was he haunted by the memory of the man he had—

“Tano!” Cody shouted, hanging himself further out of the ship. “Come on, Commander, we have to go!”

He held his breath and waited, unable to see the battle below due to the lowered ramp. He couldn’t see, but he could hear the swish of a lightsaber as it deactivated. Cody tightened his grip around the handle, eyes searching the box of open air in front of him.

Ahsoka came flying up, lekku whipping behind her. She reached out her hand, and he stretched just a little farther, and they met, fingertips just barely brushing, before her momentum carried her further in the ship. Ahsoka’s full weight crashed into him, and Cody only just managed to keep them both standing.

He turned his head so he wasn’t yelling directly in Tano’s ears. “Echo! Get us out of here!”

There was no reply, but the ramp closed in front of them, small rattles reminders of the blasterfire their ship was still taking. The louder return fire from Bly at the cannon shook the frame of the freighter, but Cody spread his stance wider and held fast to the handle. Ahsoka took a step back, no longer falling against his chest but rather bracing herself against the wall.

As soon as he heard the hiss of the mechanics locking the hatch in place, Cody let Ahsoka’s hand fall, confident in her ability to keep her balance. With Echo flying the ship, he likely should have been more concerned. “All right, Commander?”

“Never better, Commander.”

She flashed him a slight smile, their old joke coming back with surprising ease. He’d often wondered how their relationship might have different if Ahsoka had been assigned to his General and not Skywalker. Cody had never truly gotten the chance to work with Ahsoka that often, but whenever she ended up on the Negotiator for a brief mission with Cody’s General, she had always been willing to spend time with the 212th. Waxer had always pushed the General to apply for a padawan commander after Tano had visited.

Her blue eyes scanned his face, lingering for a long time on the scar. He matched her gaze, falling into parade rest with his arms behind his back. Ahsoka’s eyes tightened. So, she recognized the stance he had picked up from her grandmaster.

“Can I, I mean, may I—” She fumbled with the words, glancing away from him for a second. Cody had rarely seen a Jedi anything less than composed. It was odd. It was also a strong reminder of her expulsion; she had never gotten the chance to fully become a Jedi, not the one she could have been. Not the one his General had believed her to be, regardless of where life had taken her.

Ahsoka took one single breath before returning her gaze to him. “Do you wish to stay the Commander? I can forget that—”

“No.” Cody ignored the flash of mortification at interrupting a superior officer. “No, Tano. I may be the Commander to the rest of the galaxy, to Senator Organa and the rebellion, but,” he offered her a tight smile, “you’re not the rest of them.”

She returned the smile, shoulders loosening. “Well then. It’s good to see you, Cody.”

“You as well, Tano. I was under the impression you had died.”

Ahsoka shrugged, looking deeper into the ship, focus inherently drawn to where Rex lay in one of the bunks. “They tried. Rex is the only one I could save, but… We got out. Figured that keeping our survival secret was for the best.”

“Ahsoka, take it from—” His voice broke. He dropped his eyes, staring at the metal beneath their feet. “They wouldn’t have known it in the moment. But they would have chosen their own deaths over yours. Living with that choice, the knowledge of what I’ve done…”

Cody couldn’t continue. He never had been able to. And now, face to face with Ahsoka, his grand-padawan, someone who had loved cared for him, known him as much as Cody had, someone who should hate Cody because of everything he did, chip or no chip—

“Oh, Cody.” Ahsoka’s hand brushed over his pauldron, dark blue symbol of her Order faded beneath her fingertips. Cody looked up at her once more to find a deep sadness in her gaze. “Cody, I do not blame you.”

“That would make one of us,” he choked out. He shook his head, shrugging out of her touch. “We can… later.” Cody strode to the ladder, ignoring the shame and anger and love still burning in his gut. “Echo! How long until we reach the fleet?”

“About an hour or so! I’ll be down in a moment, just finishing up.”

Cody nodded to himself before turning back to Ahsoka. She was still watching him with those painful eyes, vision reaching into his soul. He blinked, shaking himself out of the thoughts. Jedi aren’t psychics, he reminded himself. She’s not reading my mind, only what’s obvious. And his face always had been easy to read.

“Let’s check on Rex, yeah? Make sure he’s doing okay.”

She nodded, adjusting the fall of her cloak so it once more concealed her lightsabers from view. Then she raised her eyebrow—was it an eyebrow? Her markings made the correct shape along her brow bone, but it wasn’t an eyebrow in the traditional sense. No, this wasn’t important. “What fleet are you talking about? Are we meeting the rebellion?”

“Not quite,” Cody said, relieved to find a smile not far from reach. “Come on, Commander, I’ll explain it to you. It seems as if there is a lot for us both to catch up on.”

She nodded, falling into line beside him as they moved through the freighter. “Naturally, Bail knew about everything.”

“Naturally.”She laughed, soft and only briefly. But it was a welcome sound. Cody had spent so long believing he had destroyed the Jedi, been the hand to fall to signal the genocide of an entire people. But here was Ahsoka Tano, laughing at his side. It wasn’t a lot. But it would be enough.

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4

[sorrowfulrosebud]

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙: in which Yandere Skarlet and her darling move back to Earthrealm.

𝕰𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: yandere

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: yandere behaviour, murder, changed plot lines lol, housewife vibes

The situation you were in was… peculiar to say the least. Skarlet wished to finish her life in the Netherrealm and settle with you in Earthrealm. You were definitely cautious towards the entire situation. The loyalty she had dedicated to Shao Kahn was fierce, but as you came to see, the loyalty bled away when she wandered into your room one midnight.

She staggered to your sleeping form, carefully stroking your face. You sleepily open your eyes as she stares lovingly at you. Your grip on your blanket tightens as blood is splattered on her face.

“Shh, my angel. I have found a way for us to be happy. I have hired an assassin to come and kill Shao Kahn. Upon his guard finding his corpse, we shall hide away and abdicate the throne,” she murmurs to you. Blood painted your face with each stroke as your face contorts in thought.

“But… where will we go? We can’t exactly hide with the Kytinn or take refuge with the Linn Kue monks,” you whisper back frightened. She shushes you again.

“Shh my darling. We shall leave and go to Earthrealm, where you used to live. I shall retire my status here, and live amongst you and the other mortals. We shall live as people,” she explains excitedly, pushing your head against her chest. Your heart starts pounding.

“I- I’m going home?!” You whisper to yourself. Skarlet’s claws dig into you slightly.

“WE are going to Earthrealm. I have it all figured out. If your home is still functional, we shall reside there. We can get jobs, and learn to live amongst the mortals. You will teach me how to live as one of you,” she explains giddily, letting you go.

“What do you say, my angel?”

It was incredible having a sense of control back in your life. Despite the fact that your old home was destroyed, you managed to find a dodgy apartment complex that asked no questions. You had to find a job since Skarlet had very… limited… social skills (and life skills in general). She was curious about everything in the apartment. It was honestly kind of cute when she jumped and went to draw her blades when the toaster popped.

Even introducing her to microwaveable meals was an experience. You found she enjoyed darker red meats, and wasn’t too keen on more vegetarian dishes.

She was not keen at all to let you go find work again, not in the slightest. You had to explain to her gently that until she can fully adjust to being a human in modern society, it would be better that you focus on working while she tends to the home. Skarlet was still moody about it, until you said that it can be her way of taking care of you. You explain that she can learn quicker by cooking meals for you both, and keeping the flat clean prevents illness. This perks her up substantially.

She even takes it upon herself to try to learn to write English/your language. She asks you to help her learn, so you bring back preschool books. It offends her, sure, but you have to explain to her that it’s better to start from scratch so she can learn quicker. And learn quicker she does; in the space of 2 weeks, she is filling out the workbooks miraculously quick and with 100% accuracy. She ends up working at a 17 year old level in a month, and after 2 she’s possibly more fluent in writing than you!

The transition for Skarlet from being royalty to a regular person is bizarre. She was so used to people fearing her and respecting her from the sound of her name alone, to having next to no one give a shit about her. She finds it humiliating when you gently correct her about something, going pink every time the toaster pops and she still jumps, or accidentally burns the food.

As much as she gets embarrassed, she adores seeing you thrive. She loves seeing you ramble about your day at work, but clenches her fist when you talk about your coworkers (something you learn to stop talking about). It makes guilt rot in her stomach; if she was struggling here when she came of her own will, how did you feel when you were taken against your will?

It takes a while to find a system that works, but when you do, it sticks. You wake up for work, give Skarlet a kiss as you get ready and go downstairs for breakfast. You choke down some slightly burnt pancakes, give her another kiss and leave. Skarlet cleans up, does some more reading and workbooks, then makes herself some lunch (usually a raw steak). She then busies herself on making dinner, wanting you to have a nice hot meal for when you came back. You come back, give her a kiss and eat dinner, then wash up and go to bed.

Skarlet never knew she could enjoy submitting to someone and taking care of someone so much. She loves seeing you thrive in something that you’re good at, and slipping back into a comforting routine that you can both enjoy.

She is still definitely a yandere. She keeps an incredibly close eye on you, and is still very possessive but she lets the reign loose a lot more too.

[talk-danmei-to-me]

Danmei Fanfic Nightclub AO3 Prompt fill

Prompt: Could you please write a Ximang omegaverse with the whole Gu Mang's faewolf blood thing prior or post the time mirror arc?

...

Mo Xi cursed himself as he stood guard. Why had he been so stupid? Obviously, there were limits to how much the Liao kingdom’s experiments could change Gu Mang’s body. In time, the true nature of his body would win out. Apparently, that time was now…

The blood of the faewolf weakened the smell but appeared to strengthen the sensations. At least, that was how Mo Xi interpreted the muffled sounds on the other side of his bedroom door. Gu Mang claimed to have lost all his memories and yet the second his heat hit him, he’d sought refuge in Mo Xi’s bedroom. Despite what was proper, Mo Xi’s mind began to wander, conjuring images of Gu Mang pleasuring himself atop slick soaked sheets. He wanted to taste him again. The images sent waves of desire straight to his cock. He felt himself hardening, his knot swelling beneath the fabric of his robes. He banged the back of his head against the wall as though that would knock the sense back into him. Gu Mang was a traitor and an amnesiac. He wasn’t an object to be desired. Surely to fuck him now would be tantamount to treason. Then again, what the Emperor didn’t know…

An awkward cough brought Mo Xi back to himself. He turned towards the sound to see Li Wei a safe distance away.

‘What is it?’

‘My lord, please stop torturing yourself like this. It’s not ideal for you to be so close to an om – a sla – to, to him. Like this… Please allow me to guard the door in your stead.’

‘It’s fine,’ Mo Xi said.

He was lying through his teeth. Every fibre of his being screamed at him to rip the door open and take the man on the bed until they were both were sated, until neither of them could take it anymore. No matter how many hours it took. Hidden beneath his sleeves, he balled his hands into tight fists pushing his nails into the soft skin of his hands until he drew blood.

Li Wei failed to look convinced by his words, but he was a professional and bowed accordingly, ‘As you say, my lord.’  

‘Wait.’

Li Wei turned around.

‘Fetch me everything we have in the library on faewolves.’

Li Wei completed the task far quicker than Mo Xi anticipated. Though his speed was most likely due to the fact all they had was a single scroll. Mo Xi unrolled it, his addled mind searching for the information he needed. His eyes widened in horror when he finally found reference to a faewolf’s heat. Namely, they did indeed experience heats similar to that of omegas, which explained the heightened sensations Gu Mang appeared to be experiencing, but unlike omegas, if their needs were not met, the agony of unsatiated lust would bring about their demise. Mo Xi strained his ears to listen more closely to the sounds Gu Mang made. The ones he tried to hide. Alongside the wanton moans that announced each time he came, were pained cries. His heat was hurting him and there was nothing Gu Mang could do to bring himself relief. Mo Xi re-rolled the scroll. According to the scroll absorbing the seed of another would soothe the pain of a faewolf’s heat. Gu Mang needed to be filled and Mo Xi refused to let another touch him.

As he slid open the door, Mo Xi told himself his actions were all for the benefit of Chonghua. If Gu Mang died, they’d never learn the secrets of the Liao kingdom. They’d never be able to defeat them. Mo Xi’s decision certainly wasn’t motivated by long supressed desire for his shixiong.

Inside, the sight was exactly as Mo Xi predicted. Gu Mang was bare, tangled in the sheets, one hand working his cock as he pleasured himself with the other. Slick glistened between his thighs, darkening the sheets beneath him. A spattering of come, some dried, some fresh, marred his taut stomach. His whole body tensed as he brought himself to climax for the seventh time that hour. Mo Xi was unable to look away from his blue eyes, now red with tears. Unable to take the pitiful sight any longer, Mo Xi slipped his robes from his shoulders and approached the bed.

‘It’s so hot,’ Gu Mang whimpered.

‘I know.’

‘It hurts.’

Mo Xi tentatively stroked his shaking back as Gu Mang continued to chase a high he’d never reach, ‘Let me help you.’

Gu Mang paused in his ministrations, considering Mo Xi’s offer for a moment. After what felt like an age, he nodded. His hands fisted in the sheets as he angled his hips up towards Mo Xi, his overworked hole ready to receive him.

Mo Xi freed his erection and pressed inside, hissing as his cock was enveloped by Gu Mang’s wet heat. Gu Mang’s moan of relief at finally being substantially filled echoed around the room. Anyone within earshot of Mo Xi’s bedroom would know exactly what was happening. The realisation should have made him see sense, act more cautiously, but Mo Xi was already drunk from the joy of being inside Gu Mang again. Even if Gu Mang was too far gone to appreciate that it was him, even though Gu Mang no longer carried the memories of what they had done together. His body would remember. Mo Xi would make him remember.

[when-are-you-coming-back-steve]

It was a big-big world, but we thought we were bigger

Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker

I got my boys with me, at least those in favor

And if we don't meet before I leave, I hope I'll see you later

[music-in-my-veins14]

It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure

[brandonjohnbarnard]

Production history around: Arc

This article will be going over the events that led to the creation of ‘Arc’, a short film I made recently.

Me in Dartmoor holding the spirit mask — Photo by Anastasia Forbes.

For a few months now I have wanted to make a film about or in nature — mainly focussing on mushrooms (because they are cool). There are several reasons why I wanted to make a ‘nature’ film. Firstly, I want to push myself to do different genres and motifs. With every film I learn something new, and there are so many wells out there, so why not dip my toes into as many as I can. Secondly, Devon is wonderful for the outdoors, so it feels like a wasted opportunity not to. Recently I saw some dome videography work by Dr Kayla Parker and Dr Stuart Moore during their screening of ‘River Visions’ at the Immersive Vision Theatre. This partly pushed my search into the area more so.

(‘River Visions’ screening on the 14th of October, 2024)

Thirdly, when it comes to galleries and screenings, nature and the environment is a common theme. It feels good to have a film available for each occasion, so submission guidelines do not act as a barrier.

In early October, I stumbled upon an Instagram post by Fotonow CIC.

Two aspects jumped out at me — play is a large part of my ‘chance in filmmaking’ PhD, so I thought it may be a useful academic experience, and secondly, it was a good excuse to finally film the nature piece which had been nagging me recently.

I had invited my wife and our friend Ana along with us. I did feel a bit guilty about taking up so many of the limited spaces myself, but it was the first of these types of events I had been on, so honestly I was a little nervous before arriving. Also, I am very unfit, so I did not want to be left to die in the moors. I really appreciate the photos the two of them took of me. Often I am the person taking photos at events, so it sometimes appears that I was never there!

Before arriving at the designated meetup spot, one of the first things I noticed (other than all the adorable Dartmoor ponies) was a massive structure pointing up to the heavens. Later I learnt that it was the North Hessary Tor transmitting station. It kept reappearing on the walk, so I decided this would be the antagonist of the film.

We met everyone at a carpark in Princetown where we were given a brief overview of the day. Abigail did a great job of leading the session.

During this rundown, we were handed prompts of what we could be thinking about during the trip. The quick readthrough of this pamphlet painted my vision of what to expect.

Partly due to prompts being a large part of my practice, I instantly thought this unexpected element was a cool inclusion. It is like reading a book and finding a reference that fits perfectly into your essay. I had not thought about a collection of prompts painting a theme before, like a mental mood board. The idea of ‘prompts with purpose’.

Thinking about it in terms of folklore, I feel it makes total sense to include. The way in which I view the moors would be totally different to someone who grew up around them, hearing different stories about spiritual elements, and who has a better understanding of one’s connection to nature. The prompts, in a way, act as a shorthand to put you into that wavelength. Using prompts in this way feels like a clever way to start any activity. A mental readjustment.

The day was great, and the lighting was perfect for filming. The area was way more flat than I was expecting. This is not a bad thing, its just that upon arrival, I realised that my moist film about mushrooms had to shift into something else. The aforementioned prompts helped with that tremendously.

We only got hit by the rain for a short period, but this was already after we took a few introduction shots, and before we reached our basecamp. In a way the rain allowed us to push through the area quicker, so we had good light for the primary location. It was lucky in a way. What wasn’t as lucky was Isobel’s coat breaking (zipper busted), so she was affected by the elements more than some of us.

Everyone we met at the event was very nice. It is great how many cool people you can meet through a free event on Instagram. It was nice being able to hop from conversation to conversation, as well as to just run away and take some pictures. I have the complex with my filmmaking that I am making everyone wait up for me, but in this scenario everyone was always occupied with their own things, so I never felt like I was taking up too much time. It was nice.

Also one of the photographers brought along their dog, which was an instant highlight. They were the best boy at the event, hands down.

As a result of the prompts, I kept seeing portals everywhere. I had thoughts of ‘if I went through them, would I be in a world slightly different from my own?’. Alternatively, ‘what, from somewhere else, could travel here?’ — this became part of the premise of the film. A spirit, linked to the radio tower, which travelled through portals.

Our base was at the ruins of Foggintor Quarry. This location made me think about the connection between the present and the past, and how some elements of the past are in the present. As a result of these thoughts, I originally I wanted to call the film ‘Current’, as in electricity, and now. Instead I chose ‘Arc’, as in electricity, circle (portal), and the developing of a narrative.

I also thought about another interesting element regarding ‘time’ on this trip. That, to the untrained eye, it is hard to know what is 100 years old, or 5000 years old. The idea that the past becomes an ambiguous clump of information, with it hard to discern it all apart. We are so certain though, that ‘now is now’, and we are certain that the ‘future is later’, but should we be?

The prompts also asked that we ‘find spirits’, which shaped a lot of my thinking on the day. I thought that there could be a spirit linked to the transmission tower looming over us. Maybe using the tower to travel, maybe being upset that the tower exists in the landscape, like a God versus Babel situation, maybe both. There were also thoughts that the portals are what allow the spirit to appear. In a sense, the portals within these ruins, or those formed by ancient stone circles (or our little on on the floor), served as gateways, enabling the spirit to traverse time and emerge from the past into the present.

This ‘travelling through electricity’ made me think about my film ‘Disseminate’, where once something is made and put out into the world, it exists as its own entity. So the thought of me playing the main character in ‘Disseminate’ and ‘Arc’ made me think about a weird link between these films. This, on top of the thought that time may not be as linear as humans like to think, made me imagine a scenario where one of the films leads to the other. It is funny though, that in reality this is kind of true..

The mask was created by Abigail when she was younger for a school project (I cannot remember if it was GCSE or A-levels) — The prop was handed to me, and I decided to take this as a chance event. Even though there were other masks available, this would be the one I used. Cannot miss an excuse for degree and artistic relevance.

Below are some of the other props that were brought along. After the event, I had a look through Abigail’s portfolio, and it is cool to see that many of these pieces were used in some of her other works. She is talented, so I recommend you check her stuff out.

I do like the world of known vs. unknown. Often I meet people, not knowing at all how talented they are. The unknown being a time to ‘meet the person’ I feel is very important and healthy. Also, a lot of creators can get paralysed if they feel a ‘quality’ or ‘professionalism’ disconnect between them and the people they are working with. I feel it’s best to remove that whenever possible, as people are more likely to play, have fun, and create great works as a result.

For the song I used a snippet of ‘Auld’ by Casonika — I wanted something human, full of mistakes, and kind of folksy. The music also had an electrical interference to it which I felt matched the themes of the piece.

‘Auld Lang Syne’ means ‘long long ago’, which I felt also matched the themes around time I was thinking about while making this piece.

I think that’s all I have to say about the piece and the history around it so far! This is my first time writing an article so close to the release of the film (the next day). It does change a lot. Many of the details are clearer, but it also means that there is less history and reception to build upon. I may make a second article on its life once it has had time to exist, but we shall see. Thanks for reading.

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 29/37 | Part Twenty Eight, Part Thirty

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

I don't think this is going to end well, what goes up must come down. 

I type away at the keyboard as we all wait for Pietro to return. It's been two days since we arrived at the Sokovian base. I hear Bucky and Wanda talk behind me, but I focus on writing the code before the idea leaves my mind. I had come up with an idea for how to finish writing algorithm the other night, after I killed Dane. 

I hear the door open and close, Pietro must have returned. He's back sooner than I thought. I spin around in my chair and see he has a worried look on his face. 

"The robots, they're here." He says. My eyes widen as I realize the gravity of the situation.

"Are you certain?" I ask. Maybe it's something else. He shakes his head,

"Stark's name is plastered on the metal. They're definitely his." He says. I take a sharp breath and realize it truly is now or never. 

"Pietro, can you keep watch? Let us know if anyone or anything gets close. Wanda, I'm almost done, I'm going to need you to stick around. Bucky, take a seat." I say and everyone nods. Pietro speeds off and I quickly turn back around and furiously type the last few lines of the algorithm. 

I knew we were running on borrowed time but I was hoping that they wouldn't find us for at least another day. My palms start sweating as I realize this code has to work or my chance at removing the programming is gone, possibly forever. My stomach turns as I try to push that thought out of my mind. It will work. It has to.

Wanda stands beside me as I try to wrap this up as quickly as possible. She puts a hand on my shoulder, which calms my nerves just a touch. 

Out of nowhere, the building shakes, and pieces of loose concrete fall from the ceiling. I pause what I'm doing and listen. I don't hear anything. I take it as a warning and type even quicker. The building shakes again. I don't think it's going to hold for very long. 

I finish the last line of code and pull up another application. Before I feel comfortable asking Wanda to put this in Bucky's mind, I have to know it's going to work. I refuse to put something that can potentially be faulty in his mind, I will not experiment with this. The application loads too slowly for the limited time we now have. After what seems to be an eternity, the application shows up on the screen.

Thankfully, my work from when I was in Hydra hadn't been erased. They were likely trying to learn from it when I was gone. I had created a replica of Bucky's mind so that I could run tests to see which program would be the most effective. It shows the activity of the brain and how each program would affect it. At least I have one thing to be thankful to Hydra for. 

I hurriedly switch to another application and merge the algorithm with the small part of the gem's matrix I was able to extract. After the incident with Dane, I wasn't able to sleep, so I figured I'd work on extracting what I need out of the matrix. Thankfully the flash drives remained unharmed throughout the ordeal. After I was able to isolate a portion of the matrix I then merged that small portion of the matrix into the copy of Jarvis I had made to create a heightened version of Jarvis that should be able to dynamically think and react based upon the input it receives.

The code was designed to recognize the trigger words for the Soldier and prevent his brain from starting to scramble. Essentially, the algorithm would recognize the pattern and prevent the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex from going dormant and would regulate the rate of communication between the insula and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. As a failsafe, in case this isn't enough, I also decided to add in a part that would make sure that the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the medial prefrontal, along with posterior cingulate cortex areas of the brain retain communication so he doesn't become disconnected from himself like the programming causes.

Hopefully I was thorough enough and correct in my coding skills. I switch back to the simulator and paste the Jarvis hybrid into the simulation and run it. I layered this with the Winter Soldier program and watch what happens. The building shakes again and more concrete falls. I hear the walls start crumbling, we don't have much time. I tap my foot on the ground anxiously. 

The simulation starts up and I lean forward in my seat to closely watch the interactions. I watch how the Soldier program interacts with the algorithm. The simulation completes and I almost can't believe what it's showing. I run it again, I have to be sure. It works for a second time. 

I look up at Wanda and nod my head. I plug in the flash drive that used to house the gem's matrix, which I wiped after I isolated what I needed. I upload this into the flash drive and tuck it in my pocket, just in case something goes wrong as it tends to do. 

The building shakes once more and I see the large cracks in the wall. I don't think we're going to be able to do this here. I rush into the holding cell where we made our makeshift beds and grab the red leather-bound book. I tuck it under my arm and go back to Wanda and Bucky. 

"Wanda, can you get into that computer and get that code?" I ask, voice wavering with nerves. She nods and wastes no time focusing her energy on getting what she needs.

We had discussed how this could be accomplished as I worked on isolating a part of the matrix. Since the Jarvis hybrid is essentially a brain, we thought it would be possible for her to use her powers and absorb the information and then transfer it to Bucky's mind, much like she transferred her memory into my brain. 

I go to Bucky, who's biting the skin around one of his fingernails and bouncing his leg up and down. I crouch so that I'm eye level with him. He looks at me and I see he's scared. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I reach out and cup his face in my hands, making him look into my eyes.

"This is it Bucky. Are you sure you're ready?" I ask. He swallows and continues bouncing his leg. He nods his head,

"I'm ready. You're sure this is going to work?" He asks. We both look at Wanda who seems to be deep in thought and concentration, her red magic connecting her to the computer. I look away and nod,

"I'm one hundred percent sure the code is going to work." The simulation never failed me, and I hope it didn't choose now to start breaking that pattern. Another tremble comes over the building. What is going on out there, and where's Pietro?

I start worrying that Wanda isn't going to have enough time to do what she needs to do. I give this building maybe fifteen more minutes before it collapses. I don't want to break her concentration so instead I focus back on Bucky. He needs all the support he can get right now. 

"Bucky, I promise you that if I had a single doubt it wouldn't work I would not be going through with this. It will work, you will be free." I say and place one of my hands on his shoulder. 

"I trust you." He says and puts his hand on top of mine and gives it a slight squeeze. The building shakes again. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer, begging for this building to stay standing for just a few more minutes. 

"Adalyn." I hear Wanda's voice call for me. I open my eyes and rush to her, she gives me a short nod.

"You're sure?" I ask,

"I have it." She confirms. I lick my lips, and try to decide if we have enough time in this building. Another strong shake comes over the building, answering the question for me. 

"We have to get out of here, we'll do this somewhere else." I say and the three of us rush out of the building. As we speed towards the entrance, large pieces of concrete fall from the ceiling. I hear a large crash and turn, seeing the room being filled with concrete. It's all coming down.

Bucky picks me up and continues running, taking me out of my shock. I watch from over his shoulder as the base begins to crumble. Wanda throws a large piece of concrete out of our way as it falls in our path. As we make it out of the building, the entire thing collapses. 

Bucky continues to carry me as they run into the woods, and instead of the peaceful woodland sounds we were welcomed with a few days ago, there are sounds of screams. I look around and see a massive army of robots. Some are on top of buildings, tearing them apart. 

In the distance, where the capitol is located, I see a few people flying in the air. Wanda and Bucky stop running and I squirm out of Bucky's hold. We all look at the scene unfolding. 

"Is that Tony and Thor?" Bucky asks and points to the people flying. I squint my eyes to try and get a better look. 

"I think it is." I say as a light beam comes from one of them. That's Tony for sure.

"That means Steve is probably there." Bucky says and takes a step towards the city. 

"Bucky we have to do this now." I say. He shakes his head.

"I have to help Steve, I can't let him fight alone." He says and I grab his metal wrist. Shaking my head, I protest,

"He's not alone, he's got the entire team of Avengers helping him out, we don't. Bucky we need to get this done. If you go out there something might happen. I can't let you." I say and tug on his wrist, begging him to not go. We don't even know what's out there, plus, Tony wants us dead. 

Before Bucky can say another word, the ground shakes. The tremor throws us off balance and I struggle to stand. I look around and notice that it seems we're slowly starting to get closer to the clouds.

"What's going on?" I ask, not feeling good about what I'm seeing. I see a Shield ship fly above and park just on the edge of the city. An idea comes to mind.

"We need to get on that ship." I say and point to it. 

"What about Pietro?" Wanda asks. I run a hand through my hair, trying to think of a solution.

"Okay. Pietro is probably in the middle of the fight going on over there. The two of you need to stay out of that fight, you need to stay alive." I say, knowing there's only one answer to this that I'll be able to live with. I pause before I say the rest, quickly coming to terms with what might happen.

"You two get to the ship. Wanda has everything she needs to undo the programming. I'll go to the city and find Pietro. If I don't make it back, Wanda, please undo the programming." I say and I hand both the book and flash drive to Bucky. They'll need them if something goes wrong and I don't make it back. Bucky shakes his head,

"No. I can't lose you." He says. 

"Bucky, this is the only chance we have at undoing this for good. You and Wanda go, I'll find Pietro and bring him to the ship." I say, convincing myself I can pull this off. More than likely it's a death sentence.

"None of us are going to let anyone go alone. So we go together." Wanda says. I hate the idea of them going into the fight but I know she's right. Bucky hands the flash drive and book back to me and I put the drive in my pocket and tuck the book in my waistband, making sure it's secure. This time I'm thankful that Shield's uniforms are uncomfortably tight, they're able to hold the book close to me and still let me run.

"I hate this idea, but let's go." I say and the three of us start to take off towards the city.

I hope we can find Pietro and get onto the ship. I don't think this is going to end well, what goes up must come down. 

[smarti-at-smogwarts]

How about a playlist for the Tadhg Lynch Protection Squad as a whole?

Hope Ur Okay_Olivia Rodrigo ( this is the first song i ever assigned to them and it makes me so emo listen)

And when the clouds won't iron out And the monsters creep into your house And every door is hard to close

Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred But, God, I hope that you're happier today 'Cause I love you And I hope that you're okay

I'll Save You_Jordan Sparks

But I have found a place That I can call my own And I could take you there Why should you be alone?

Stand By You_Rachel Platten

Hands, put your empty hands in mine And scars, show me all the scars you hide And hey, if your wings are broken Please take mine 'til yours can open too 'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Seven Years-Lukas Graham

It was a big-big world, but we thought we were bigger Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker

Here's To Us_Kevin Rudolf

Everybody's got a story they must tell an' You got yours and i got mine All the times you felt the pain and seen the glory It feels good to be alive

Bonus:

This Is Home_Switchfoot ( the hogwarts years)

Yeah, this is home I've been searching For a place of my own Now I've found it Maybe this is home Yeah, this is home

[oil-bh]

There’s so much, so it’s below the cut

[Sunrise peeking above blades of grass lightly tossed by the wind. Camera pans from a small house on the right of the screen to the left in order to display a child Wilbur running around a tree.]

[He’s called over by a physical manifestation of Death/Kristen with the wave of a hand.]

Once, I was seven years old, my mama told me

"Go make yourself some friends, or you'll be lonely"

[Wilbur beams at her face hidden behind a veil of sorts. Shoulder view over Kristen that focuses on emphasizing Wilbur’s expression.]

Once, I was seven years old

[Cut to Wilbur, now an older teen, walking out of that house. He’s in travelling gear and holding a map, too busy looking at the map. He lowers the map and has a soft smile on his face. Camera zooms and above out to him waving goodbye to the house as he runs off to explore.]

[Cut to a bird’s-eye scene of Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. It’s the early creation of L’manberg. The skies are clear and Wilbur is sitting under a tree, going through bags, as Tommy and Tubbo play-fight.]

It was a big-big world, but we thought we were bigger

[Various scenes of L’manberg being built, introducing people like Eret. Days/weeks/months passing as L’manberg is built is shown through sequences of images throughout different stages of day/night ans L’manberg being built.]

Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker

By 11, smoking herb and drinking burning liquor

[They all smile at each other, rounded up in a hug, proud of themselves.] 

Never rich, so we were out to make that steady figure

[Scenes of Wilbur and Sally. Wilbur, a young adult, leans over a river where Sally emerges to cup his face and kiss him. Camera zooms to 1/2 view of their faces, both looking fondly at each other. Wilbur is more red-faced than Sally.]

Once, I was 11 years old, my daddy told me

"Go get yourself a wife, or you'll be lonely"

Once, I was 11 years old

[Scene of Wilbur telling Tommy, Tubbo, and Fundy stories. They’re inside a home, with a fire crackling in the hearth of a fireplace. Wilbur is cross-legged holding his guitar while the boys are in various seated positions on the floor. Photos hung up behind them on the walls show different scenes from Phil’s hardcore worlds, the Antarctic Empire, etc.]

I always had that dream like my daddy before me

So I started writing songs, I started writing stories

Something about the glory just always seemed to bore me

'Cause only those I really love will ever really know me

[Sudden cut to the L’manberg war of independence. It’s busy, going back and forth between stills and slightly animated scenes of various people involved.]

Once, I was 20 years old, my story got told

Before the morning sun, when life was lonely

Once, I was 20 years old

[Very quick cut to the Manberg elections. As Lukas’s name is shouted, the scene is suddenly Schlatt and Quackity looking victorious at the stand by the microphone. It’s a front facing view that shows about 3/4 of their bodies.]

(Lukas Graham!)

[Screen fades black and then fades into Wilbur walking from a dark room/crook in Pogtopia. He starts pacing, lips synced with the lyrics. He’s visibly stressed, running his hands through his hair. The camera starts at a front view but changes to a 3/4 and 1/2 as he paces and runs his hands through his hair.]

I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure

'Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major

[Camera pans to the people allied with Pogtopia. For a second, Eret in the control room is on screen, but it quickly disappears. Pogtopians look concerned for Wilbur.]

I got my boys with me, at least those in favor

And if we don't meet before I leave, 

[A few tears well in Wilbur’s eyes before he quickly wipes them away.]

I hope I'll see you later

[Wilbur plants both hands against the walls in the button room. Camera pans from his hands clenching into fists (left side of screen) to his shoulders up (right side of screen), at a 1/2 angle. His brows furrow and he looks paranoid and distressed.]

Once, I was 20 years old, my story got told

[Camera moves to 3/4 angle, Wilbur’s back to it, and zooms out. The scratches, words, and lyrics in the walls are emphasized.]

I was writing 'bout everything, 

[Camera moves to 3/4 view zoomed on his face. His eyes close, then open, and the camera zooms out.]

I saw before me

[As the camera zooms, it shows Philza with the sword impaling Wilbur.]

Once, I was 20 years old

[Scene changes to various scenes of Ghostbur. Talking to Fundy through signs, hanging out with Tommy in exile, etc.]

Soon, we'll be 30 years old, our songs have been sold

We've traveled around the world, and we're still roaming

Soon, we'll be 30 years old

[Sudden flashback to early L’manberg. Wilbur’s home. Wilbur with younger Fundy, playing guitar for him. 3/4 view of Wilbur, over the shoulder camera of Fundy.]

I'm still learning about life, my woman brought children for me

[Camera switches to over the shoulder view of QSMP Wilbur, 3/4 view of Tallulah, smiling.]

So I can sing them all my songs, and I can tell them stories

[Changes back to DSMP. Wilbur is now revived, lips synced with the lyrics. 1/2 view of his body, 3/4 angle. He’s in the remains of New L’manberg.]

[Wilbur gestures with his right hand (viewer’s left) to silhouettes of people such as Tubbo or Tommy. He smiles, disregarding what his actual relationship with them is.]

Most of my boys are with me, 

[1/2 angle, only shows mid upper arm to mid thigh. Wilbur is now in Las Nevadas and shaking hands with Quackity.]

some are still out seeking glory

[Wilbur sits down at a bench, 3/4 view showing the right side of his body (viewer’s left) on the right side of the camera.]

And some I had to 

[Camera flips to Tommy, also on a bench, in the opposite position as Wilbur.]

leave behind, my brother, 

[Changes back to Wilbur, zooms on his lower jaw and lip syncs to the lyrics.]

I'm still sorry

[Scene of Wilbur sitting in a chair at a desk. 1/2 view, hips to head. He’s writing with a quill on parchment.]

Soon, I'll be 60 years old, my daddy got 61

[Scene of his eyes isolated, looking remorseful and then bittersweet.]

Remember life and then your life becomes a better one

[Goes back to the previous camera.]

I made the man so happy when I wrote a letter once

I hope my children come and visit, 

[Fundy flashes on screen, back turned to Wilbur.]

once or 

[Tallulah flashes on screen, standing coldly with her back partially turned to Wilbur, reluctant.]

twice a month

[Goes back to Wilbur writing the letter.]

Soon, I'll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold?

Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me?

Soon, I'll be 60 years old

[Cuts to QSMP Wilbur sitting in an empty home on a bed. Full body, front facing. He puts his head in his hands in defeat. A discarded guitar is on the floor.]

Soon, I'll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold?

[Camera focuses on photos hanging on the walls. There’s a light glare on the glass, changing from images of Tallulah to ones of Fundy, before turning back.]

Or will I have a lot of children who can hold me?

[Cuts back to DSMP Wilbur, standing by a sign that reads “WELCOME TO UTAH. POPULATION: Utah was not a parallel to death”, with the “not” scribbled out.] 

Soon, I'll be 60 years old

[Scene of Philza and Missa parenting Chayanne and Tallulah. It’s eerily similar to the scene at the beginning of the song.]

Once, I was seven years old, my mama told me

"Go make yourself some friends, or you'll be lonely"

Once, I was seven years old

[Wilbur (front view full body) standing in his YCGMA Limbo. A tear falls down his face. The dog from MSR walks up next to him.]

Once, I was seven years old

7 years by Lukas Graham except it’s a timeline of cWilbur dsmp that fades into qWilbur qsmp at the very end with a flashback to dsmp. Yes I know cWilbur and qWilbur are different characters but PLEASE hear me out on this

[jordyn-degas]

What if?

characters: Sasuke Uchiha x fem!reader;

additional: Naruto Uzumaki x fem! reader; Sakura Haruno; Orochimaru, Sai, Yamato, Boruto Uzumaki and Himawari Uzumaki have a brief appereance; mention of Kakashi Hatake;

warnings: afab!reader - fem!reader; characters age range vary from children to adults; fluff; angst; emotions all over; mentions of: nudity, subtly implied intercourse, blood and death.

notes: SFW; i'm extremely in my feels today- this song ALWAYS breaks me no matter what - i actually cried throughout writing this, don't ask me why - especially the end - my emotions are all over the place 😊

word count: 4.074 - i'm sorry - my feels got me carried away

taglist: @haikyutiehoe - thank you for being my first ask and requesting to be tagged in this 😭 - hope you like it 🤐

Mood 🎧 LUKAS GRAHAM - 7 years

"It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker" - "Something about the glory, just always seemed to bore me 'Cause only those I really love will ever really know me"

There was not a single second of his mere, bitter life in which he did not love you.

Not even when you were children and the spark in your eyes lit up when Naruto was making one of his stupid jokes, intoxicating laugh boosting his ego. Or when you two sparred with chopsticks over the bowls of ramen over at Ichiraku's. Sasuke believed to be completely incapable of maintaining a conversation with you for more than a minute. You were pulled into Naruto's boisterous orbit while he stood behind watching and waiting. He could only hope that one day your eyes will lit up for him the way they did for the Nine-Tailed Fox boy. Watching from the rooftops how you would playfully wrap your arm around Shikamaru's, your childhood best friend, placing a quick peck on his cheek that had the boy flustered beyond reality.

That is how he found himself plagued by a simple question: What if?

⋯ ⋯

Not even when the Kusanagi was aimed at your throat, trying to cut the only bond strong enough to pull him back, Sasuke did not stop loving you. It was absolutely abysmal how small droplets of blood trickled down your neck, not a single tear staining your beautiful, smooth skin, vividly remembering those piercing eyes flash with determination.

When he left to find Orochimaru was the day when he also found out that your heart ached for him. Not for Naruto. Not for Shikamaru. Not for other stupid boys he deemed unworthy of your attention. It has always been him. Arms wrapped around him, your head resting into the crook of his neck, pleading. YOU pleaded for HIM to stay.

That is the first time Sasuke believed he had failed you. He was never going to be able to fulfill your wishes, to offer you the life you truly deserved.

The question still stood: What if?

You loved him with such fervor it was astonishing. If he could ever touch your love, the skin would scorch as if trying to get closer to the sun. “Come home.” your sweet, pleading voice tickled his dark heart, the faint broken tonality causing ripples in his soul. “Come back to me.” Those were the words that had his soul snap violently, tiny cracks breaking the hardened surface. You were the only person capable of reaching him so painfully deep. Naruto could not raise his gaze from the ground because he knew, he knew Sasuke will never be able to come home until the dust settles. Sakura finally realizing, right there and then, that he will never be hers because you were his lifeline. Even Sai that had the emotional range of one of Orochimaru’s snakes could feel the agony. Yamato stood behind you, ready to protect your life no matter how much it hurt. “I can’t.” Sasuke replied coldly, harshly, full of hate, playing the well rehearsed act of not caring. “Not until it’s done.” His heart was booming into the ears, waves of pain washing over him as the famous Uchiha dark gaze traced your powerful form. God, you were a gorgeous girl! The way you held yourself, the slightly raised chin in defiance, the ability to look more like an Uchiha than he did. “Take me with you.” your beautiful voice cracked. “I can’t do this without you.” The next thing Sasuke witnessed, in all its glory, was your palm wrapping around the sharp blade of the Kusanagi, instantly rupturing your skin, blood flowing along its sharpness. Shock flashing on everyone’s faces as you stood there, imposing, intimidating, tightening your grip on the blade. “Kill me.” you spoke, oh, so softly it had his soul hum at the sound. “If that is what is keeping you back, I will accept it wholeheartedly. If that helps you to come back home, I will happily oblige.” Sasuke wanted nothing more than to drop the sword and pull your body into his arms, to hold you tight and bind yourselves to a promise. He wanted to play with your hair, twirl the strands in between his fingers, to pinch your full cheeks and annoy the life out of you before letting out the laugh that joins in his dreams. Sasuke realized that he had never had the chance to kiss you, leaving when too young only to find each other again now. The way you stood before him now, the way your power was making itself known had him weak in the knees, wanting to capture your puffy lips into a deep kiss and never let go. “Not now.” Orochimaru spoke dryly, appearing out of thin air and pushing away the blade from your throat as your hand finally released it. Sasuke knew Orochimaru was not incompetent as he knew quite well that his beloved vessel would never be capable of killing the truest love he had ever felt since the grim end of his family.

Slowly vanishing into an illusion of fire, the last image Sasuke had of you was knees hitting the ground roughly as the tears finally escaped those eyes that never left his mind.

That day he broke and failed you for the second time. He once again knew that he was never going to be able to fulfill your wishes, to offer you the life you truly deserved.

Yet again, the question that started all creeped in: What if?

⋯ ⋯

The first time Sasuke dared to kiss you was during the war and its heat of battle, an entire world too preoccupied to care of two teenagers silently accepting each other. Despite the skills he had developed along the years, Sasuke's all too perfect Sharingan proved to be a worthy opponent for Uchiha Madara and his acolyte, Obito Uchiha, yet it was not enough to protect him completely. "Y/N!" Naruto's scream ruptured from his lungs. Sasuke's head snapped violently towards the direction from which the voice came only to be met by your wide smile, lips shut and a rather disturbing peace engulfing the gaze set on him. Arms raised to the sides, knees slightly bent and trembling as blood was trickling slowly from the corners of your mouth. Dread. Complete and utter dread washed over Sasuke, life draining from his pale cheeks as you let out a chuckle. "I remember asking you to kill me a while ago." you said swallowing thick gulps of blood. "I'm glad you didn't. Who would've protected you now?" When the knees caved under you, his arms caught your body in an instant, Sasuke's eyes glancing at your back to see it riddled with multiple small, black rods, too many to count, embedded deeply into the flesh as some were halfway in, drenched in a Chakra that started to dissipate as they hit their target. You could have avoided this. You were not a simple Kunoichi that lacked the skills or the talent to dance between the deadly weapons. There was a choice to make to either let him be hit or protect him. You once again discarded your life for his, a memory of scrambled words pleading for him to kill you reemerging. "Why do you always have to be so annoying?" Sasuke hissed cupping your cheeks, thumbs wiping off the blood from the corners of your mouth.

"Is there any other way?" you asked, eyes half-lidded, pushing painfully a small smile. With complete disregard to bodies dropping dead around you, to the screams of Shinobi fighting, to Kurama's roar as Naruto protected you both, to Sakura finally reaching you, placing her arms on top of your back to heal you after removing each rod, Sasuke finally brought himself to do what he has always wished to. His lips captured your bloody ones, squeezing softly the flesh of your cheeks as you hummed. He was never the guy to show any kind of affection or emotion, to display it so publicly without shame, to let himself go in such dire situation. However, the fear of not knowing if tomorrow you will still be here crippled the most closed off boy this world has ever seen. God, he loved you so much it hurt. Searing pain twisting his heart in motions he never thought existed. "Sasuke .." Sakura whispered and he pulled back, jaw clenched with rage. "Leave Y/N to me, please."

"You owe me, Uchiha." your hoarse voice barely able to keep up its usual volume. "I saved your life. One day you'll have to save mine."

"Don't die." Sasuke said removing his hands from your face as Sakura's arm wrapped around your torso to hold you steady in the process. "Then I can pay my debt and save your annoying ass." As soon as the last two words rolled off his lips, Sasuke bent slightly, bringing his index and middle finger in front of your forehead before tapping them playfully against it just as his brothers used to. The last soft laugh you gave was met with immediate fainting, body resting into Sakura's arm as she healed you with the other. Your best friend's sadness was crippling because of the deep injuries you were possessing and he decided to throw himself into the battle, to have his mind not focusing on the thought of you dying.

When war broke, he swore to protect you even in exchange of his exhausting life. That day he failed you for the third time.

If you were ever going to wake up, to smile again, he would still plague himself with the question of What if?

⋯ ⋯

Tracing the few scars that could not be fully healed, Sasuke remembering each and every rod that caused them, even after three years since the war has ended. The warmth of your skin wrapped around the coldness of his fingers, a deep sigh leaving you at the touch. Both of your naked bodies were tangled into the sheets, limbs wrapped around each other as only slow, calm breathing could be heard.

⋯ ⋯

After the war, after choosing to not have his arm restored to always be reminded of his sins, a way of penance he deemed to be this particular choice, Sasuke left the Hidden Leaf to see how the Shinobi world will recover with his own eyes, to travel and reflect over the mistakes he made, to protect the village in his own way. He left without saying a word to you, silence filling the room as you both had nothing left to say. You hated it, you hated him for abandoning a promising life, you got tired of constantly begging for the love he had but never accepting it fully, so you stayed silent. Back turned, the door opened, Sasuke's steps leaving the wooden floor of your house for the last time. After a year and a half since his departure, he crossed paths with his best friend, leaves shuffling under their feet as they stood into the woods on a hidden path. Naruto was on his way back to the village as Sasuke used it for a detour towards another travel. That is how he found out you were finally happy. Naruto explained how, after he left, Kakashi as the Hokage accepted your choice of forsaking the life of one of the greatest Kunoichi and turned to be a simple teacher at the Academy. Mornings with the children, lunch at Ichiraku's with Naruto, dinner with Sakura and Ino, evenings playing Shogi with Shikamaru. You laughed again, eyes no longer red from crying constantly, dark circles under them long gone from the sleepless nights, finally accepting the help of your friends. Sasuke absorbed each and every word, tucking them into the deep corners of his heart as it brought him joy. He could never offer the life you truly deserved but everyone around you could. It didn’t fall on deaf ears how Naruto spoke of you, gaze not averting his, glossy eyes and blushed smile. Sasuke realized that his best friend was the real reason of you standing up and walking again on your own. He wanted to tremble with anger, to let himself be consumed by rage and scream in pain at Naruto. However, Sasuke could not. The man standing in front of him was capable of offering you exactly what he couldn't and it settled calmly into his troubled soul. If there was someone in this world he trusted more than anyone, it was Naruto. He was the only one he would entrust your heart to. "Does she feel the same?" Sasuke asked leaning against a tree.

"I don't know." Naruto replied doing the exact same, both face to face covered by the shadows of the trees.

"She should." Sasuke said studying his surprised expression.

"Sasuke, that girl loved you since I can remember." Naruto followed a bit taken back by his friend's words.

"That does not mean Y/N cannot love another." Sasuke replied with a small smile. "I have entrusted her to you the moment I left the village and you did not disappoint." Naruto's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he could not imagine for the life of him, no matter his feelings for you, to take away his best friend's only true love. He was probably the only person that knew Sasuke will never return fully to the village as there was simply too much torment in his heart. "I am entrusting you with Y/N's heart." Sasuke said pushing himself off the tree. "Do not fail me, Naruto."

⋯ ⋯

Another year and a half passed since that conversation and it marked the present situation in which you and Sasuke found each other for the past two days. Nothing but naked bodies, consuming each other to the point of exhaustion, soft touches following, sweet nothings being whispered under the safety of this roof. After three years in which you had learned and managed to build a life without the love of your life, to finally grasp the true meaning of happiness and be capable of feeling love again, you left the village. A month of searching, mind focused only on a simple goal, you finally found Sasuke tucked away into a small room in one of the hot springs at the border between the Country of Fire and Country of Rain. You knocked on the door, took a deep breath and listened to his bare feet slapping against the wooden floor. Sasuke's eyebrows shot up in surprise seeing you standing in front of him, civilian clothes without even the smallest smile. Your eyes were stormy, something brewing into them. Without any warning, your body wrapped around his as lips latched onto each other, hunger and fervor overcoming you both instantly. Sasuke did nothing else but to kick the door shut before taking you all in, drinking in your presence, senses sinking into the scent that always graced his dreams.

Two days later when there was all said and done, he could not bring himself to let you go. You felt so good against him, the comfort of your voice and smile gave Sasuke a taste of how it could've been: the way your lips were capable of breathing life into him, the way your skin against his unraveled every secret he has ever had, the way your eyes captured his heart ever single time he looked at you. "I know what you are about to say." you said quietly, fingers tracing circles on his abdomen. "And it is alright."

"You fell in love with him." Sasuke said placing a small kiss on your forehead. Both of you knew that this had to happen at some point, to wrap the entire story in a beautiful bow of closure. You had to have him, to feel everything he has denied you of all these years. Sasuke had to have you, to feel everything he has denied himself of all these years. You both knew that no matter how much you ended up loving Naruto, the man capable of breathing life back into you, the love that brewed for Sasuke will never go away. Both bound at a soul level, something no one would ever be able to replicate, steal or create.

Pushing yourself up, palms resting on his chest, noses brushing slightly, a small smile captured your lips, one Sasuke has not witnessed before. It was new, refreshing, full of hope and it warmed up his heart. "I'm marrying him." you said not losing the smile, the one that brought a newfound peace in your eyes.

"Good." Sasuke replied reciprocating the smile, able to recognize that you have both finally reached the end of the road. "You deserve the life Naruto has to offer, you deserve the happiness, you deserve a family and you deserve him." He watched how your gaze searched for any bit of dishonesty on his face but Sasuke knew you would not find any. Pain? Probably more than he would care to admit. Regret? Surely. The mistakes he made were many and this was the biggest one: the incapability of healing himself and becoming the man you deserved. With all of that, he was truly happy that the woman he loved beyond any reason one could ever comprehend was finally happy.

Leaning in, Sasuke captured your lips into a soft, calming kiss that reassured you, that erased your worries, that healed that part of you which knew you will never have a life, a family with him. And it was finally and undeniably alright. "One last time?" you asked as a spark of sadness briefly flashed into your eyes.

"One last time." Sasuke replied with a soft smile. As he pulled you into another passionate kiss, body settling under him, fingers intertwined above your head, both knowing that this was going to be the last act of your love. "I love you." you whispered against his lips.

"I love you too." he whispered back completely lost into you. Two hearts started racing in perfect sync and rhythm as never before for one last time. Two souls speaking the same language for one last time and asking each other: What if?

⋯ ⋯

Leaves turned brown, trees shedding their clothes, snowflakes followed coating the world in a white cloak before the sun could emerge, reviving the earth from its Winter slumber, flowers springing, spreading their perfume, waking up senses and bringing smiles on children's faces. That is how the years have passed, life settling in comfortably with you grading the papers of your beloved students and your husband peeking relentlessly from behind as he frowned constantly. "I bet you don't understand half of it." you chuckled knowing how much Naruto used to love school.

"I'll forgive you for this." Naruto laughed before placing one of his loving kisses on top of your head. "I understand everything, surprisingly."

"Then why are you hovering?" you frowned turning to face him with a pout.

"Because it's almost time." Naruto sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "You do this every single year. How can you still forget?"

"I don't." you jumped pushing your finger into his chest, voice laced with a threatening tone that was more bark than bite. "This time the papers took longer than expected."

"Come on, love." Naruto smiled stealing a kiss from you. "This is YOUR day, the one you can never miss." Pulling back from his embrace, your eyes bore into the bright blue ones that always brought nothing but pure love and happiness to you as he managed to make you the happiest woman in the world. "Naruto?" you asked swallowing hard.

"Hm?" he nudged your nose with his softly.

"Thank you." you replied capturing his lips into a deep kiss.

"Anything for you." he said smiling into the kiss. "I might've healed your heart but your soul will always need the extra help." Naruto wrapped his arms around you, your head landing on his chest and you felt thankful, grateful. This man, this absolutely gorgeous and loving man was your man, yours only, your husband that saved your heart, breathed life back into you and gave you the most beautiful family anyone could ask for.

But .. he was right. Your soul will never be whole, that small, yet deep crack remaining as some kind of a battle scar because it was exactly it: the result of a battle between your heart and soul.

⋯ ⋯

Every year, on this particular date, it was the exact same without a single change. You would walk on the old training ground where Kakashi was always so determined to knock some sense into all of you, laying the multicolored blanket Sakura bought, knowing how much you loved reading in nature, under one of the trees, the shadow of its leaves protecting your skin from the sun before lazily opening the book you were reading in that particular week. It was such a bitter-sweet moment knowing what it actually meant.

In the same tree under which you spent your day, Sasuke would sit patiently on one of the branches above you, hidden by the crown of leaves for the children to not see. "Boruto!" your snappy voice, which had Sasuke always laughing quietly, resounded into the open space of the training ground. "Can you please stop trying to tie Himawari to that log? There will be plenty of time for that. Ask your father."

"But mom!" Boruto would whine.

"No buts." you instructed. "Play nicely." Boruto huffed and puffed before picking up Himawari to soothe away the sadness of him trying to tie her to the log by placing small kisses on her plump cheeks.

A melancholic smile curved Sasuke's lips, remembering quite well what it was like to be instructed by you, always having a certain way of keeping everyone on their toes. He took in the happiness radiating from you when watching your children, how your nose crinkled when Boruto was being annoying, how you hummed with care and love every single time Himawari kissed your cheeks, how you bit on your lower lip when the plot of the book became too intense.

God, he loved you.

Sasuke was happy. You became exactly the woman he always thought you will be, built the life you deserved, had the family you always wished for. Even if it had absolutely nothing to do with him, simply knowing you were happy and loved was more than enough.

Years ago, he entrusted Naruto with your heart and he still considered it to be the best decision he has ever made. Even without the closeness of your body to his, even without the passionate kisses full of love, even without you smiling because of him, YOU were undeniably happy.

Sasuke owed you from when you saved his life in the war - he had to save your own when the time comes. Now, the debt was paid as he proudly accepted that he saved your life.

Shuffling slightly, your back hit the tree and Sasuke's gaze diverted from the children only to meet the warmth of your eyes. Head tilted backwards, wide smile spreading all over your face and a faint blush pinching your cheeks. Then and there he saw it, the only thing Sasuke did not lost when he chose to let you go: all the love you had for him.

God, you loved him.

The way every single year, on this particular date, you would sit under this tree and he would be there, watching from above. It was precisely the day in which you two shook hands, the only person Sasuke did this with much to the surprise of other students. It was the day your fate was sealed and every year you would meet up here on the training ground. There are no words, no touches, but simply the presence of each other, closing the deep crack in your souls for one more year.

His lips curved into a warm smile, leg bent upwards to place his elbow on it for his cheek to rest into the palm as he kept the gaze on you while the other leg casually dangled off the branch. It was still there, in his eyes, never diminishing as years passed by and you felt completely at peace: all the love he had for you.

Naruto might be the love your life.

But Sasuke? Sasuke Uchiha was your soulmate in life and beyond.

Hearts intertwined, souls bound together, eyes telling your story, a single, innocent question lingered in the air:

What if?

[blindtaleteller]

Marvel Comic moments and character points that deeply inspire my MCU-flavored Lokiverse, followed by some of the exerpts that result from that influence. Because someone in my discords asked, and said I should.

LISTEN (Vestibule HVRA-0616.04.03 - Door/Universe 3)

  " They all are; the last safe pieces of me left; that none of them, or the ones they left me in the hands of to torture.. to be made to give it up just to survive because they knew, and they saw; and.. " that sharp breath in and the slow breath out: audible. Reaching for control when that and his words had sped up with the edges of anger was forced to drop off. " They left me there. Watched through Heimdall's eyes and did nothing, nothing to stop it. That's how valuable a son I was as what I am. What they lied and told me I wasn't, for all my life. How loved a brother. A year of .. all, that. Left to be tortured and definitely killed without that deal, once he was done with me. "

           Oh.. god Thor. You big stupid idiot. That had better not be true. He had better be lying..

      " If you don't wanna talk about-- " Tony, badly wanting to backtrack. Natasha wanted him to too, just hearing the way, never mind the words coming out of his mouth.

                " I say the summary of it now or I won't get through saying any of it again any time soon. " was just as quick and .. a little defiant. " I refuse. And refuse to refuse this to you especially, if those words are real. " was almost clipped. And she got it.Nat almost wished she didn't. " Do you love this me. Aaron? "

 " I love you. "

       " You love the last pieces of me that still matter then. The man still left that took that deal with every, malicious, vindictive intent to kick it back in his face and steal everything that bastard wanted as repayment; and keep what was left of me, and all of you who had the memory whether you knew it or not, safe. Or as much as I could under the stone's influence, with Ultron still running around inside it. Or the Other constantly in my head as a reminder and near constant watch. A few hundred, for a few billion lives. The whole of everything left I loved here, to keep that alive? Stay me regardless of him? Or of Odin? Or of any of the rest? Worth it. Always, forever; worth it. No matter how much I missed coming here the way I used to. At least it's here still to keep growing. Even if it's a few people short, it's a few heroes greater too after I pushed you. It's all I could manage. "

     Cue Clint rushing the back door. Cue the bang of it being all but kicked open as that registered. She only looked up and after him stomping and kicking at the gravel on the side of the road when he stopped to snap a particularly hard kick of gravel across the grass in the ditch. Because what else was there to do, but rage, and squat down like that with your back to the road? How could you not, grip at the back of your head when you learned that the man you had been blaming for the blackest marks there were in your recent history; had been tortured and left to it and dying that way by his much more capable intergalactic family to force him into it, and doing what his torturer wanted?

     Who was there left in reach to blame now?

          What was there to ask? Why he hadn't chosen to just die? In a way they didn't understand, for people who had all but abandoned him to that, and from the sounds of it more?

GROUNDED (Vestibule HVRA-0616.01.08 - Door/Universe 8) Book 2: Chapter  11

When the clash came, Bucky barely caught it. The pressure grinding their blades against each other. He’d have to sharpen his again after this. “ There are times when the faces beyond that particular threshold are all we have, and all we can have. “ Loki was stronger, but Buck noticed the control too. It wasn’t that he was holding back; it was that he was measuring a limit to set himself to; when Buck was half pushed back by the shove. “ For some of me, I am better family to myself than any other in our own worlds. “

           “ Is that how it is for Gin? “ Not even a nod when they clashed again; Loki wrestling by half with his prosthetic arm; the even catch of their calves wrestling below for the imbalance turning into a stalemate. “ You’ll know it anyway on your own, but aside from one particular person; yes.  His world is  ..far  harsher. Things did not go as planned.  Many more died. He bears the brunt of it. The rest, you should find mostly on your own if you want it. “

              “ You think of him like a brother… a  real brother. “ surprised him a little bit as those tones registered and they conceded that draw, a step back for both of them. Adjusting grips, assessing movement; potential strikes.

                      “ Yes. You’ll  probably  understand why before long. It’s rare he takes to  anyone  not one of us. And he  never  claims as much outright, even in the  exceedingly rare  occasions when he does. “

Roll Call - Vestibule HVRA0616.01 (aka The Inbetween [platovember prompts FINAL BONUS ENTRY])

       " I think I heard enough.. " was the bile rising with that last one. Tony didn't think he could do that, even if Loge looked at Gin's door fondly. His eyes ended up on his mug.

              " Have you really? " in that tone, oddly sympathetic; tugged his browns up to silvery, too-blues quicker than he thought he should like. And put a pause on the thoughts he had there for the expression. " The point is.. all of us are different, but all of us are the same man, somewhere. "

    " Yeah, I know. Same Loki.. different choices. "

           " The same Anthony Edward Stark, before you choose differently; too. " was what cocked his head back a little. Knocked the breath out of most of the downward thoughts. More so when he slid the point of that finger fully around the room looking right at him. " Twenty one of you. And every single one a champion. Perhaps not always on our side. Perhaps not always finding themselves with the option to choose to step into this room or not. But still you, the same way every one of those who opens the door in the first place is still me. Every single one.. " pointed still, along the turn of the walls to land on him. " Could have been you, but wasn't. Just as easily as you could have been any single one of them; but you aren't. Very few of them, have the balls or desire to face this room and what it is and what it means; and what it represents. This is why we call our others Mirrors. And why the universes connected are also called shards. These are the stories of your life, and our lives too yes; that you were never able to tell. The pieces you missed catching; and the pieces you have caught. The care, and passion, and handsome defiance still remains. You are you and separate. But you are also much more than what anyone sees, that doesn't come into this room; peek into it's doors: and see or hear for themselves. "

    " ..so basically; Fate has the ball: so you may as well roll along with it? "

            " Or learn her habits so you can shift her direction. " came with a soft huff of a laugh before Loki finished off his coffee. " I'm saying; whatever brought you in here to take my usual stance and sit against the door frame to sulk, or distract yourself from eyes that know you better -- " made Tony look at this one differently, but then : he was pretty sure that was the point. " -- will still be there when you go back. But; if you must come in here to steal my internal drama time: at least make certain that while you do you take note that whatever it is that brought you here, it could as easily be worse rather than better. "

[side-writes-fanfics]

Late-night talks || One-shot

Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna x fem!reader

Word count: ≈2000

Genre: it was supposed to be angst but it's really just fluff

Tw: Sukuna is kinda ooc, ngl

Summary: usually, you'd talk to Yuuji during the nights you felt restless but today, it was very much different. One night started a habit that definitely shouldn't have started.

Feel free to leave a or two or more request in my asks!

Masterpost | Asks/Requests

ꕥ ꕥ ꕥ

(Y/N) walked down the long dormitory halls, her insomniac brain refused to allow her to rest after the hard day she’d had. On one hand, it was fantastic, filled with thrill and learning opportunities! On the other, however, the girl had gone through so much intense training and failure that she wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep. And yet, the thoughts in her head flew and a high speed and there was no way in hell that they would stop any time soon. So, as any sane person would do, instead of reading a book or being productive and taking the time to practise some techniques that wouldn’t blow the entire room up, (Y/N) decided to knock on Itadori’s room door and mess his sleep up as well.

Her hands made contact with the wood once. Then quickly twice. Then three times before the door opened to reveal the figure she had been anticipating. Only something seemed a little off. While she wasn’t thinking Itadori would be wearing a shirt as it is the middle of the damn night, the markings on his entire body suggested that it wasn’t Itadori who stood in front of her. Rather, Sukuna had taken over his body for the night and wasn’t planning on leaving the boy alone.

“You really want him to be dead tomorrow, huh?” (Y/N) whispered to the curse, chuckling at the thought of Yuuji not being able to hold his eyes open for long enough to get out of bed, let alone all the “fun” activities Gojo said he had planned for us. Now, you might be wondering why the absolute fuck were you not shaking in your boots at that very moment? I mean, you’re talking to the King of Curses, the man himself. This guy could probably snap you in half with one movement if he wanted to. Well, for one, you had no boots to shake in as you were walking in the stupidest pair of slippers money could buy. Secondly, Sukuna was well aware that if he hurt you, or any of the students of Jujutsu High for that matter, his life would be cut much shorter by the president of the school without any hesitation. Even Gojo couldn’t do anything about it because he cared for you just as much as Itadori. He cared for all of the students the same, no matter how much others thought Yuuji was the only one who got his love. (Y/N), of course, knew this and took advantage of it as much as she could, without pushing the limits and getting herself into danger.

“You’re the one talking, pipsqueak,” Sukuna said, shooting the girl an unamused glare. “Coming in the middle of the night to wake up this brat isn’t much better than what I’m doing.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, walking past the curse and into Itadori’s room. Sukuna stared at her confused but before he could continue further, (Y/N) cut him off.

“Get in the room and close the door. If Gojo catches me out of my room at this ungodly hour of the night, I’m gonna be dead and if you get caught with me, it isn’t going to be taken lightly by the higher-ups.” The girl made her way over to the bed, making herself comfortable while Sukuna listened to her orders, even though he didn’t want to.

“That sounds like you’re the one who causes all the trouble here and not me.”

(Y/N) smirked, letting out a little chuckle. “And yet, I don’t care about that much.” She propped herself up, now in a sitting position. Sukuna rolled his eyes at her, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

The two stared at each other in silence. What were you even expecting? Neither of them was used to being in each other’s presence. They barely interacted due to reasons outside of their control. (Y/N) went on missions a lot, barely spending any time in the presence of Itadori. When she did have time to hang out, Sukuna never actually spoke or came out and showed his presence. Sukuna didn’t want to talk because he did enjoy the company and anything he wanted to say at first would have just made her leave. (Y/N) didn’t want to speak up because of her poor social skills. Everything she knew about socialisation, which wasn’t that much, had been thrown out the window by the lack of contact she had with other people. To be frank, even if they sat in silence (Y/N) would have sat there until the moment she was tired. It was better than being alone in her room staring at the ceiling.

“Why’d you even come here in the middle of the night?” Sukuna spoke up, not wanting to leave the room silent. Unlike (Y/N), he hated the silence. He could not take it. When the curse was on his own, whether it be in the form of Itadori or inside of his domain, Sukuna didn’t mind it. He was left alone to his own devices and was able to do as he pleased, but being around another person in complete silence drove him crazy.

“Uh… I couldn’t sleep.” her body positioned herself in a sitting fetal position, resting her head on the top of her knees. “Yuuji lets me come to his room when that happens and we just chat about random things until I feel tired.” Both of them stared at each other, waiting for who was going to speak next. It was hard to keep the conversation going as of now, both of the participants carefully thought about their words as to not upset the other. Still, (Y/N) said something to fill the silence: “What about you? Why are you in control of Yuuji’s body?”

“I felt like it.”

(Y/N) blinked at him, not believing her ears. “That’s… that’s it?” she said in disbelief.

“Are you not satisfied with that answer, pipsqueak?” The man crossed his arms and lifted a brow. The girl crossed her arms as well, pushing her back against the wall behind her. She contemplated once more all the choices she could make at this moment, though, to an outside view, (Y/N) looked as if she was scared to say anything at all. Sukuna’s chuckle broke her out of her contemplative daze. “It’s boring inside of where I am for days upon days upon days. Sometimes I need to feel alive, even if it’s just switching with this brat and walking around his room.”

The girl let out a ‘hm’ sound, nodding to indicate she understood his reasons. Slowly, the two began having normal...ish conversations without the awkward pauses between topic and sentences. They began to slow as if they’ve been long term friends with natural progression. And as all natural progression goes, this became a regular thing. (Y/N) couldn’t sleep more often, Sukuna wanted to walk around the world more often, them talking happened more often. Though, these little meetings in the middle of the night that consisted of senseless trains of thought being put into words stayed secret between just the two of them. Not even Itadori knew that (Y/N) snuck into his room as often as she did. Yuuji knew and welcomed her coming to his room to speak to him when she needed company. There were times where she snuck in and Itadori was in his own body. The girl hated to admit it but she felt sad when she couldn’t speak to the curse inside his body. Indeed, she should have felt ashamed but something just didn’t let her. (Y/N) liked Sukuna’s company. Even with the… talks about not so good things he’s done that were bound to come up at some points in time.

There came a day where (Y/N) realised it. Realised that she, as a jujutsu sorcerer, shouldn’t feel the way she feels about him. He's done so much wrong. Why does it not bother her that much? She stared at the ceiling. Her thoughts haunted her throughout the day, not letting a moment pass without her thinking about it. It was obvious she wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Leaving to go talk to the curse, however, seemed to be a tiny bit paradoxical. Her worries were caused by him. She didn’t want to end the friendship they had built. Then again, was this really for the best? Were the talks really a smart idea? Was continuing to see him and forming an emotional bond going to bring anything but pain and sorrow?

Knock, knock, knock.

‘Who could be knocking on her door at 3 in the bloody morning?’ the girl thought to herself, getting up to answer the door. As soon as she opened it, she mentally slapped herself for being stupid. I mean who else could have it been other than the curse himself.

“I see you’re awake,” he said, “though, you decided not to come and talk to me.” A brow lifted on (Y/N)’s face.

“And you decided to come to me instead, huh?” she smirked at the man, moving to give him space to enter the room. “Have you started caring about me? Have you softened up to little old me?” she poked and teased him, trying to forget what she’d been thinking about moments before. Sukuna entered, only to stop in the middle of the room.

“I need to talk to you about something…” her heart stopped. ‘Shit shit shit and shit.’ her thoughts became quicker and her heart raced as if it were running a marathon she was not ready for. Why would she have said what she said? Was it that she got too comfortable around him. “What you said… about me caring about you…” he paused, trying to find the words to say. (Y/N) looked at him turned away from her, anticipating his next words. “It’s true… I am softer towards you than anyone else. In these past two months you... You’ve made your way to my heart. You make me feel. You make me feel,” he said quietly, fiercely, making (Y/N)’s heart skip a beat or two. He turned towards her, his face more serious than you’d want it to be in this moment. “and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. Now.”

(Y/N) blinked. Absolutely taken aback at his words. “I’m sorry, what?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He confessed that he cared about her. That she made him feel a certain way. And yet somehow he’s rejecting her? Nothing makes sense. She didn’t even confess to him and she feels hurt. “I… don’t-”

“Why do I feel like this?” Sukuna cut her off and stared at her, hoping she would solve the problem with a few simple words.

“I- I don’t know why you feel like you do!” she squeaked out, still unsure what was happening, “I mean I don’t even know how you feel.”

“I don’t know either.” (Y/N) paused, lifting her hand towards his. Her eyes flicked towards his, silently asking permission to hold his hand. He squinted at her. For a man who claims to be a genius and has years and years of life experience, his social skills seemed to be lacking when we’re talking about kindness. The girl kept quiet, putting her hand closer. It gently touched his, sending a clearer message of what it was she wanted. Sukuna let out a slight ‘oh’, before embracing her hand into his. Her heart skipped a beat again. She cursed herself silently, understanding that she was feeling the same way as he was.

“What are we going to do, pipsqueak?” Sukuna asked her, confused out of his mind. It was rare that anyone saw him as bewildered as he was right now.

“We’ll… figure it out I guess…” a smile tugged at (Y/N)’s lips. It was terrifying, there’s a lot in their way and a lot of things they have to set straight, but for now, this seemed to be the most they could do.

ꕥ ꕥ ꕥ

[cazzyvintage]

Born to be wild - Chapter 5

Synopsis: Joining F1 as one of the first female drivers you knew was going to be a challenge but you weren’t prepared to deal with one particular asshole on the tracks. With the urge to win so strong within each racer, will romance pave the way? Or will it destroy everything?

Word count: 1.4k

Author update: I have a lot of important things starting to come up so updates might be a bit slow but I am determined to get one out at least once a week if not more.

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Every time you thought about that day, you felt the anger towards Niki swarm over you again, like a fiery itch in your veins. You couldn’t believe the arrogance of the man who not only rudely gave you advice but said advice being for his own benefit so you wouldn’t crash into him. You had half a mind to swerve directly into him in the next race, but you knew he would just use that to argue how he was right and that you were an inferior driver.

That thought weighed heavy upon your mind throughout the next few races, though. Were you an inferior driver? Was Niki right? That first race where you came 4th was your best position so far. In all these other races, you were lucky to get into the top 10. You wouldn’t even see Niki and James on the track with them being too far ahead of you. Patrick told you not to sweat it, and you will find your speed again, but you couldn’t help but feel depressed about the whole ordeal.

Yet, it made you more determined. You were determined to fix your car to your needs no matter what Niki said about you wrecking the engine. You grew up fixing cars; you certainly knew more than a rich boy who paid his way into F1. You pulled the underside apart, rewired the engine, changed the fuel consumption, chose better tyres, different metal to use on the outer side and slowly, you started to see an improvement in the car.

It was certainly faster, but it still wasn’t enough. You were missing something, something important, which would improve your game massively. Deep down, however, you knew it wasn’t a problem with the car but instead your own driving, which was holding you back.

Things took a turn for the better, however. A silver lining approached you, a ray of sunshine through your gloomy clouds, which turned out it would be the match to start your fire of a legacy. And that came in the form of James Hunt.

You were on your break for the afternoon before the next race tomorrow. You were eating your sandwich when you heard footsteps as he jogged up to you. Seeing him approach your field of vision made you glance away nervously. The last time you had spoken to him was the night of his party. The night where you had become so drunk, you made the rash decision to make out with him. Since then, you hadn’t spoken to him, feeling embarrassed about the whole situation, and you were hoping he wasn’t approaching to bring it up.

Seemingly James understood you didn’t want to speak of it, or he had been so drunk he didn’t even remember as not once did he mention it as he started to talk to you. Instead, he said something else which grabbed your attention.

“Do you want to go out on a ride around the town?” he asks you as he leans on the wall by the side of your table, looking down at you with that classic smirk.

“You...want to take me out on a ride?” you reply, suspicious of his motives.

“It’s a nice place we are at, plus I could show you a few tricks I know about how to handle the cars. It might help you.”

Instantly you perked up, excited to think that you might be able to learn tricks from the F1 master. Quickly putting the rest of your food away, you followed James over to his car, which was over the top representing his personality. Still like the gentleman he apparently was, he opened the side door for you and let you into the car. Then he jumped over his door into the car without even bothering to open it.

Showing off, he made the car shoot down the empty roads as you left the garage, definitely going over the speed limit. Despite all of James’ recklessness, he was a good driver, and as you observed the way he steered the wheel or pushed the gearbox, you began noting down ways he managed to control the car in a way you hadn’t figured out.

James felt your eyes upon him, and he smiled when he noticed what you were doing.

“If you give two tugs to the gearboxes here, it can give you a little boost which is useful if you are neck in neck with someone and you need to get ahead,” he tells you, demonstrating it, and as he says the car shoots forward with a quicker speed for a few seconds.

“I had no idea about that!” you say, feeling gleeful in realising how much you were learning from James.

Continuing down the road, James proceeded to show you more little tricks he had with the car. He talked you through each one and told you how he had managed to figure them out, and eagerly you hung onto his every word. You two didn’t even notice how many hours went by as he drove you around the town, just getting lost in your conversation till the sun slowly started to sink beyond the horizon.

By the time you and James pulled back up at the garage, only a few lights were still on, and the silence was broken by the laughter of the two of you. James jumped out of the car and jogged over to your side to open the door before you could, and jokingly, you gave him a curtsy for thanks. James opened his mouth to say something, but he chose to turn and look behind himself, and instead of words about how he enjoyed this afternoon, a groan left his lips.

“Well, if it isn’t the rat, I had heard they were nocturnal. Truly living up to your name.”

“You are never usually around the garage at this time, James. Are you planning on sabotaging my car?” the familiar Austrian accent rang out.

“I was just showing y/n a few tricks I have picked up over the years.”

James now moved out of the way, and Niki was brought to the awareness of your presence. He was holding a suitcase in his hand, but after seeing you, he crossed his arms over his chest and gave a displeased look which in turn pulled a frown onto your lips.

“Now it all makes sense. Do you think it’s a smart choice to show the opposition, though I doubt your tricks are worth much”

“Yes, yes, go and be the condescending twat that you usually are. You can’t seem to comprehend the thought of being nice and helping someone,” you mutter, moving forward to stand by James, copying Niki’s movement by crossing your arms.

Niki just scoffed, however, and rolled his eyes, “I heard what happened at the party. This seems to be more than just being nice and helping someone.”

You felt a blush spring on your cheeks as the words left his mouth. Your mouth hung open in shock, your eyes wide. You knew people would likely talk about you and James drunkenly kissing, but the fact that someone like Niki even knew made embarrassment course through you. How would you ever prove yourself if people thought you were just trying to get with an F1 driver?

“Leave her alone, Niki,” James said, stepping forward, and Niki instantly took a step back, uncrossing his arms to raise his hands defensively.

“I was only saying what I had heard, what everyone is talking about.”

Niki, deciding it was best to leave before James forced him, started to walk away from the two of you. James muttered, “come on”, and started walking in the opposite direction, but you had to say one more thing to Niki.

“Why are you always being so rude to me? Simply for one mistake?” you yell at his disappearing figure. You weren’t sure if he would bother to turn around and dignify you with a reply; after all, to him, you were just an idiot, but he did.

“Do you think if you were a guy, James would have taken you out today? I treat you and everyone else here like an asshole. They all treat you like something special so they can get their dick wet. I would have thought you wanted people to treat you the same as everyone else, but it seems like you enjoy the special attention.”

Niki’s eyes flicker back to Jame, who had turned around and was glaring at him.

“Now run along; your toy for the evening is waiting.”

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[saphirered]

I have a request! How about a pre!Caleb x reader with a runechild reader that has been with Caleb and Nott from pre-stream? What would their friendship dynamic be with the two and how does Caleb react to them being hunted for experimentation by various magic users.

I’m so sorry this took so long to write. Double shifts have been killing me but I’m still trying to get these requests out regardless in whatever free time I get. I hope this one’s to your liking. It turned out pretty long 😅 . Enjoy regardless 😘

Prison. How did it come to the point where being stuck in a jail would be both the best and worst place for you to be? At least those after you wouldn’t be able to get you without getting in a lot of trouble or jumping through legal hoops giving you enough time to plan your escape. 

When word got out you were a runechild people praised you… and hunted you discovering your worth as a conduit for the natural magics as well as an arcane power source. You learned many before you were hunted and killed, or enslaved for just this fact so when people came knocking you weren’t going to stick around and find out their intentions and plans for you. You value your own life more than that no matter how curious you may be about what it means to be a runechild. 

Being on the run has its good sides; new places, new people and new experiences. The down side, no stability, no security and no long term friends, always on the road with barely a moment to breathe but at least you’re alive and not held captive and squeezed for every bit of arcane juju in your body. Though, you have to say you do miss having friends. Luckily you’re not the only one on the run from selfish mages with ulterior motives and as they say, birds of a feather… 

You’re sitting in the corner of your cell head leaning back against the wall and one knee propped up. There’s barely any light bleeding through the narrow window up high, the only way you’ve been able differentiate day from night and count how long you’ve been here. Time’s running out. You’ll have to make your escape soon. The guard schedule is the most difficult as you don’t see yourself overpowering all of them. Sure you can charm a few but brute strength isn’t really your thing and you’re kinda squishy compared to the armoured folks trying to keep people from escaping… You weren’t going to take your chances there and draw more attention to yourself. 

The barred door opens, the sound pulling you back to reality to see a rather filthy looking man and a child? Halfling? being pushed into your cell. Great. Company. Not like that eliminates what few plans you had… The door is closed behind them by the guard that gives the small person a kick in the back for good measure. You don’t respond as they cry out about to turn back around and attack the guard but are stopped by the man. The duo sees you as the guard leaves and sticks to the opposite side of your humble abode sitting down together and whisper. 

This would be the next few days; these new roommates of yours sticking to themselves barely speaking at all when not whispering. Not like you could blame them. You weren’t about to stick your nose in their business just like they hadn’t. Though, what you wouldn’t do for some warmth during the colder times like the small one, a goblin you learned, snuggled up with the raggedy man. When was even the last time you had a hug? It feels like ages. Whatever they had going on, you had to say you were slightly envious. At least they had each other. You were all alone and would remain alone for the foreseeable future. You’d give the world if that meant you could have something like they do. 

It’s been a few days since you were given any food. You’re hungry and by the grumbling stomachs of the man and goblin, so are they. Then the guard came by throwing a single slice of bread through the bars. Both you and the goblin scurry forward diving for the slice and you get it. 

“This isn’t enough for all of us!” You shout after the guard holding onto the slice. 

“It’s all you’re getting. Share or fight for the scraps.” The guard calls nibbling on some piece of fruit or something. The goblin woman curses after the guard who stops in his tracks. You quickly glance between the raggedy man and the goblin as the guard walks over to the bars. Casting the spell with nothing but your mind as the guard’s distracted by the screeching cursing woman, the guard’s form relaxes a little bit and eyes turn to you. 

“I’m so sorry about her, my friend. You wouldn’t be able to help us out, would you? It’s been a few days since we’ve eaten and we’re growing hungry. Could you be a dear and fetch us some good and proper food quickly? I’d greatly appreciate it.” You bat your eyelashes and smile innocently. The guard nods happily and hands you a pouch filled with what he was snacking on. 

“I’ll be back with more but please take this for now.” The guard says before he’s off to find you more food. You let out a breath of relief that it worked. You open the pouch and see some fresh berries. The goblin stares at you in confusion as the guard went from asshole to friendly in a split second. You hand her the slice of bread. 

“Now let’s hope the asshole returns within the hour.” You make your way back to your corner and sit down in your usual spot. While you do nibbling on the berries you feel the man’s eyes burn into you or rather a dimly glowing rune on your lower arm. You quickly shift hiding it, staring him down until he averts his gaze. You see from the corner of your eyes as the woman offers to share the slice of bread with the man with a slight hesitation. That amount of food is going to do next to nothing to sate an empty stomach for one, let alone two people. You look down at the pouch of berries while you pop one in your mouth. 

Cursing to yourself you get up, walk over to their side of the cell and sit down a couple feet away from them. You think for a second, pour some of the berries in your hand and hold it stretched out towards the man. 

“Look, we’ve seen you charmed the guard with your wiles to give you food but do you have to rub it in our faces too?!” The woman screeches petting the man’s shoulder in comfort. 

“I don’t think they’re taunting us. I think they’re offering to share.” 

“Take them before I change my mind.” You’re still half deliberating on eating them yourself with how hungry you had grown in the past few days. The goblin calms down demeanour instead turning to confusion trying to find some ulterior motive while the man takes the berries with a brief smile and shares them with the woman. 

The room turns silent again for the next thirty minutes or so before the guard returns with some plates of fresh food. Bread, not stale, butter, a couple of cuts of meat and even some steamed vegetables and rice. You rush over to the bars a little quicker than you’d wanted but even the smell’s enough to make your mouth water. You take the plates offering the guard a charming smile.

“Thank you very much, my friend. We won’t forget your generosity. Now why don’t you be back on your way and we’ll keep this our little secret alright?” 

“Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything else.” The guard nods before leaving the three of you. 

“You lot still hungry because this needs to be gone in the next thirty minutes or so.” The man pats a spot next to him and the goblin and you rush over handing them their own plates the three of you shoving down the food as fast as you can, to the crumbs, licking the plates clean. Not your finest perhaps but it only shows how long it’s been since any of you had a proper meal. After you return to your usual silence but remain seated with them. 

The consequences of your spell usage came as you expected and resulted in some bruises for you but they were worth it. Since you shared the food and took full responsibility for your actions the man, Caleb and goblin, Nott had grown a little more open with you and the three of you came to a nonverbal understanding to share what you got and distribute fairly. In the mean time you’d still been plotting your escape but your stunt had put a bit of a dent in that as they changed up the guard schedule too. Time’s running out. 

It’s afternoon and you’re laying on the floor curled up shivering from the cold facing away from Caleb and Nott. Your breath is visible in the air, the day unusually cold. A small hand touches your shoulder so you turn to see Nott giving you a pitied look. You sit up a little still shaking breathing into your hands and rubbing them together in the hopes of getting some warmth going. Nott grabs onto your hand and slowly pulls you in the direction of Caleb where she had been sitting before. You don’t resist as she sits you down right next to Caleb. You can’t help but cling onto him a little, responding to the warmth he brings and he does the same. While the difference is minimal, it’s better than none. Nott curls up in between the both of you on your laps using part of your coat to wrap around her, your own little heating pad against your stomachs. 

Caleb snaps his fingers and you feel soft fur scratch your neck, weight of a paw shifting to your shoulder and settle down. Looking down you see a bengal cat cuddle up like a scarf between you and Caleb. You make eye contact with the man. While your knowledge of the arcane might be limited you put one and one together and recognise the cat to be a familiar. You scratch the orange fuzz-ball’s head a little making it purr. 

“That trick you pulled a few days ago, you think you could do it again?” Caleb asks, voice shaky from the cold. You nod. 

“Good. We’re gonna need it if we want to get out of here. Together.” 

The next few days are repeated in kind, the cold sticking and freezing to death isn’t on any of your schedules. Caleb showed you a little trick of his to keep you warm when you were sure no guards would be near. The flame in his hands and cuddly cat Frumpkin, offered you some warmth and comfort when you most needed it. 

One day you’re in Caleb’s embrace, Nott in yours and you’re huddled together, when you feel some kind of amulet hidden beneath the layers of Caleb’s clothes. Caleb notices you noticed and freezes up. 

“Don’t worry I’m not going to steal it. Is it from your home?” You assure and while he grows a tiny bit less rigid he’s not back to his usual self.

“You could say that.” Caleb speaks absentmindedly, sounding a little stuck in his head.

“So not a good memory then. I won’t pry.” This puts him more at ease. He reaches into the neckline of his shirt and pulls out the amulet running his thumb over it. Curious what it looks like you’re slightly taken aback it matches something you’ve managed to keep hidden on your person too. 

“Looks like we have more in common than I thought. People with those kind of trinkets usually intend to stay hidden from people with a tendency to stick their arcane noses where they shouldn’t.” You take out the similar amulet from beneath your robes and show it. You’d rather not go into the details of how you procured this object. What matters is you have it and it keeps you safe from more persistent folks. 

“It appears so. If you don’t mind me asking, who would you be running from to need such an item?” You notice some wariness behind Caleb’s curiosity. Mistrust perhaps?

“No one in particular that I know of currently. It’s more of a precaution you see. The… origins of my abilities make me very wanted by those of arcane interests. They’d see me caged like some pretty songbird to be shown off to their friends or in chains, to be used as a power source for their spells and rituals without my consent. Certain powerful mages have been made aware of my presence in the Dwendalian Empire and seek to use me for their own plots. I prefer my freedom and staying out of their clutches.” You explain. You have no reason to hide this from Caleb. It just wasn’t relevant before. 

“I think I have a feeling I know about these individuals and believe me when I say you’re better off staying far away from them. I intend to do the same.” Caleb puts the amulet back in its place hidden from sight and you do the same. 

“A common interest then? Since we’re running from the same thing, perhaps sticking together after our grand escape until our paths diverge works in our benefit?” You deliberate as Nott listens along. You expected her to be asleep but apparently she had been listening too. 

“You can protect us and we protect you. You can study and learn together and become more powerful. We’ll protect each other. Caleb?” Nott speaks as she grabs yours and Caleb’s hands in her small ones giving them a light squeeze. 

“I don’t see why not.” Caleb mutters seeing the benefit in sticking together for the foreseeable future. He looks at you waiting for your answer.

“I guess. If you’ll have me, I’d very much appreciate the company.” 

And so you decided to stick together. Your breakout, not without its hiccups, successful regardless. You did as you agreed and had each other’s backs leaving your prison days far behind. You make a great team swindling people, stealing what you need to get by. Life on the road is hard but much more bearable with these two at your side. Nott has very much taken the mother role when it comes to the two of you, making sure you’ve eaten enough, studied enough and sleep instead of sticking in the books with Caleb. She’ll cuddle up to your side even on the warmer nights wrapping her arms around your arm or sides. Caleb shares his knowledge with you, as much as he can anyway hence the two of you studying together. He’s taken up the role of tutor and friend very well. The three of you while a little rocky at first have a good thing going on. You’re more than just friends. You’re family. You look out of each other no matter what and you stick together until the bitter end through think and thin because at the end of the day; birds of a a feather, stick together. 

[your-turn-to-role]

While Trent doesn't seem to want Caleb dead, that could mean horrible things are in store for Jester and Veth. Caleb is very protective of Veth, and thinks the world of Jester. So the bargain might be Caleb now works for Trent, or his friends suffer the consequences. They may be forced to explain the issue of the tombtakers, at which point Trent can profess confusion over why Caleb didn't just ask for help from his once mentor. Surely this unpleasantness could have been avoided? Tsk, tsk child.

okay, i was thinking of the bargain as a whole group decision but if it’s just caleb? yeah, for sure, he has a bunch of ways he could mess with him

and that’s definitely one of them! trent wants caleb back but he doesn’t give a fuck about the rest of the nein, they’re disposable

i will say, threatening the nein isn’t a sustainable plan? if he wants caleb back for good, he’s going to need to get caleb to a point where he believes in the cause again, otherwise he’s always going to be dealing with the possibility of caleb running away, and he’d definitely never be able to trust caleb to go out on missions. it’s also just making caleb distracted in thinking of ways to free his friends

it would be a good plan to find out exactly what dunamancy caleb knows, because that’s a major piece of information he has that trent doesn’t, and trent doesn’t like that. trent also trains torturers, interrogators, assassins, he knows how to leverage something like that to get exactly what he wants out of caleb, so in the short term, the direct threat may be very valuable

(also, you know, if they waste too long here lucien wins so who knows how that’s going to go, but for the sake of the rest of this post im assuming it gets dealt with relatively safely by someone)

but in the long term, trent’s more subtle than that. and he’s also got the title of exandria’s most prolific child abuser under his belt, like, he knows how this shit works, and thanks to 110 we know caleb’s not immune to his bullshit. caleb hates him, for sure, he’s never going to look up to trent again, but trent doesn’t need that, he just needs caleb to do what he wants him to. so you isolate him from his friends, not by killing them, that’s too direct, but rather, get caleb away from them, keep his friends from getting to him, and convince him they hate him now, it’s not like there’s no evidence, veth called him a murderer twice, look at the bloodbath he caused in here, he put everyone in danger, and for what? and what did you really do here, anyway, your dispel magics didn’t work, you killed all those people, did that really need to happen? or, better yet, use caleb’s hatred of trent, look how powerful you are, the guards here didn’t stand a chance, i knew you had the potential to be my best student, you’ve always been my favourite. your friends could learn a thing or two from you.

i can’t think of any way to get caleb feeling horrified over what he did quicker than that. and if worst comes to worst trent still has a modify memory to drive the point home. convince him that the nein can’t stand to see his face again, and you’ve gotten rid of one of his major supports. and without the nein, who does he have left? there’s essek, who’d understand, but do you really think you can get to essek without leading trent to him? trent who has plenty of reasons to want essek dead, and the means to kill him? going to essek will end with essek dead, and surely even you aren’t that despicable, right? yussa doesn’t want to get involved with the cerberus. allura would be horrified by what you’ve done, after she trusted you. all your other allies are friends and family of the rest of the nein, you lost those connections when you lost them. what family do you have, bren? you burned those bridges rather literally, i think.

so now you’ve got a caleb who won’t leave, because he has nowhere else to go, and he’s scared of what you’ll do to those he cares about if he escapes. but your only leverage right now is still just the nein as hostages, and that only works for so long. so your next chess pieces? astrid and wulf. they don’t even need to be willingly going along with it, trent’s proven he’s just as willing to manipulate them as caleb. but caleb still has hope for them, he’s not optimistic they can be saved, but he wants it, he cares for them a lot and knows they deserve better than this.

what happens if you punish astrid for helping them? if you’ve captured caleb, you certainly know by now she did. yet another thing that’s caleb’s fault, but this is an old familiar dynamic. you tell trent only what you have to, you keep each other safe, and look, she didn’t rat you out to him, she helped you, you know she’s done evil things but so have you and you got her hurt. she still cares about you, and god you still care about her, and wulf. trent may be keeping you prisoner here but they’re not complicit in it, they’re just as trapped. and they don’t trust you and you don’t trust them but it’s a light in the dark. people who are still on your side, after everything. you know they’ll never judge you because none of you have a leg to stand on in that argument so you put it aside and do your duty to the empire.

that duty’s changed, since caleb was a teenager, he knows it isn’t serving trent anymore. he wants to cut out everything corrupt from his nation and keep it safe. but how do you do that, on your own? how do you do that without the access to the cobalt soul you were hoping to rely on. you didn’t particularly want to change the system from the inside, because you’re terrified of that, but now you’re stuck in this situation so what else do you do? and astrid’s too ambitious, you’re scared she’ll turn into trent, but right now she’s at least a better option, she’s on your side, she’s a means to an end. you can go along with this some of the way, at least while you figure out your next step. and while i’m sure caleb in this situation would try and revert back to the time travel plan, his resources are limited and his activities are monitored. any progress caleb makes from out of the box thinking, trent can use. every step caleb takes to help his former friends breaks down another of his moral boundaries, and that trent can use. if he can keep putting those scenarios in front of the trio, where if they take the job he wins and if they don’t take the job he wins, then what do they do about that? every day that goes by caleb gets a bit less sure of his footing, gets more willing to take morally grey paths to an end, gets easier to push in a direction. you can’t break someone and rebuild them overnight, but you sure can slowly mold them into a shape of your choosing. transactional thinking, the darker it gets the more caleb can justify more of those deals, go with what trent says on this one because it’ll get him something he wants, keep working on an abstract goal of his own while he makes concrete steps towards trent’s

it’s a flawless plan, if not for the fact that the nein keep throwing spanners in the works. and all this relies on keeping them away. if they can fight their way back to caleb, there goes most of trent’s power, and he may lose more than expected, because i don’t see a scenario where the m9 forcibly break caleb away from that and astrid and wulf don’t go with him