#put these two in an interview and watch them goof off

[cruesuffix]

lil funny tommymick moment for you all!

(tommy’s so silly and funny i can’t! and mick pausing for dramatic effect before saying he didn’t know cracked me up too!)

[simpingland]

Hi hello how are ya I'd like to request something

Can you write something with Ewan Mitchell and his co star (fem pronounce) where they're at an interview and goofing off, reader joking about getting sleep while they're putting on wigs for hours and stuff like that, maybe a little more serious talk about their characters

(Readers character is jaces twin and aemonds love interest)

Thank you!

Flirting and sleeping// Ewan Michael x fem!actress.

Summary: playing Aemond's love interest have the perks of giving you a flirty partner during promotion and a comfortable shoulder to sleep on set.

Gif not mine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last interview of the day, after a whole week of promotion. Always the same questions, always the same answers. Keeping your outfit spotless for a whole day, with your make-up intact and hours of sleep accumulated.

"How is it possible that you are always sleepy?" Your colleague Ewan asked you when he saw you yawning.

"I'm a very reflective person, the night inspires me" you joked, and watched as he shook his head, smiling.

"These things feel like an eternity," he complained.

You were about to agree with him when the new interviewer sat down opposite. She greeted you, and Ewan, as always, was a gentleman, serious and attentive.

You, however, found it hard to pay as much attention. You glanced sideways at Ewan's every gesture, and he seemed to make a great effort to listen. After all this time you had learned to read his expression of feigned listening as well as his real one.

"After so many serious scenes, I suppose you keep your spirits up between scenes...are you bored on set or are you too busy?" The girl looked at the two of you.

"I tend to stay focused. Getting into Aemond's mind is quite complicated..." Ewan's tone amused you. He turned to look at you. "What?"

You let out a laugh, the interviewer looking confused at the scene.

"Sorry honey," you turned to the girl, "but Ewan is lying to you. He was concentrating at the beginning, when he took his job very seriously."

You watched as Ewan leaned back in his chair, hiding a smile and waiting for you to tease him, which he quite enjoyed.

"This guy was scary on the first day."

"It's thanks to the costume and make-up team," he interrupted.

"Oh, no, Ewan, I mean the day of the script reading. That sweatshirt was terrifying." What you said made the interviewer laugh, and Ewan joined in the fake discussion you had formed.

"You speak out of envy," he replied, crossing his legs.

"For this kind of thing, he's very formal. They always put together nice outfits for him, but in real life, it's nothing like that. "

"And what's Ewan like in real life?" Ewan himself asked.

"He's weird... weird and kind of flirty."

He turned red, shaking his head as the interviewer let you speak. You were basically getting more information out for her than she intended to get.

"Yeah, yeah...there's nothing shy about this guy here. He makes all the girls on the set smile with his 'good morning, love'. And they all love to put him his wig in the morning, his patch..."

"Why don't you let the girl do the interview?" Your partner interrupted you with mock seriousness.

"Excuse me, but I'm answering the question. Ewan was very focused at first. No one dared speak to him once he put on that wonderful costume. But as soon as Susan in make-up told him he looked 'sexy'..." you snapped your fingers. "He became a sex symbol on set and enjoys it like nobody's business. He doesn't get bored on set because he spends the hours between scenes practising with his sword, chatting with the crew when he goes to get his coffee..."

"You should tell her how you spend your breaks..." he grinned mischievously. You looked at him, hiding a smile. You mostly spent them with him, but people didn't need to know that.

"You tell her."

"She spends her dead hours asleep or breaking things." The interviewer let out another laugh. "Oh, yes, she's snored through her make-up. I've had to put up with her nodding her head every morning. And the few times she was awake, she would steal my wig to take pictures. Remember what Susan said to you when she caught you?" she looked at you as if to scold you, and you looked ashamed.

"That I was going to mess it up..."

"Exactly! This girl is a mess on legs. The first day of shooting, she tore the fabric of her cape. The first day we shot together, she almost broke the carriage window... and the wine glass. Let's not forget the wine glass on the last day."

"I dented it," you confessed to the girl.

"The whole team was praying you'd fall asleep before you touched any more stuff." Continued your partner looking back at you.

"I've had the broken stuff deducted from my pay, you know."

"Yeah? And how much money have you earned then?"

"Let's just say...I've gone into debt to HBO..."

You laughed at your own joke as Ewan tried to refocus on the poor interviewer. You really had been the clumsiest person on set, and that was in stark contrast to the careful attitude Ewan had had in that same period. Many times, you had led him astray, getting him involved in a game where you both could let off steam while the sets were being set up. He loved to show you his swordsmanship, and of course, he was good at it. He had experience.

But on some other days, when it was anynof your turns to act, Ewan was much more focused, and although you were embarrassed to entertain him at first, he always made a point of sitting next to you. He helped you revise as much as you helped him. And while your gallery was filled with pictures of you making an idiot of yourself with his wig, and Ewan making an idiot of himself with his wig too, Ewan had his gallery filled with pictures of you asleep in the most unlikely places on the set, and pictures of you posing with whatever mess you had made. And Tom had been in charge of recording those occasions when you slept leaning on Ewan's shoulder while he reread his script. That would stay between you two, and you'd been going through the photos before bed for months, unaware that Ewan was doing exactly the same thing, grateful to have an excuse like promotion to be near you all the time.

"The relationship between your characters has been a much-discussed topic on the network and among fans. The girl changed the subject to a more serious one, to the one that really mattered, the series.

"You mean incest?" you asked.

"More like the feud between Blacks and Greens."

"Oh, right..."

"That's the thing with this series," Ewan interrupted. "The incest is the least of your worries."

"Right, silly me," you said wryly.

"It's common sense, of course."

You smiled at each other, admiring each other fondly, perhaps too fondly, as you always did, leaving the girl a bit of an outsider, and were surprised when she asked again.

"The good thing is that you don't look like each other. The relationship you have in the plot is a parallel to Romeo and Juliet. How do you approach this dynamic? Do you want it to be really romantic or something toxic like Rhaenyra and Daemon?"

"That I suppose can always be left to the audience's opinion," reasoned your partner. "For me there's certainly something romantic about it. Aemond is a character that transforms into something perverse but at the beginning he didn't seem to have such a strong quality. The writers wanted to make him that way, evolved. And I think her character is designed not to contrast but to show that there is something good in Aemond." You smiled downward as you listened to him, you had already talked about it during rehearsals. "When we did the casting, the director told me that they were looking for an actress with a sweet aura, well, so that ond couldn't naturally react violently towards her. They introduced me to this arse next to me and... you get a bit attached to her.

"I love working with Ewan, he's always so flattering..."

The girl smiled at you before asking.

"You're okay with the romance?"

"Well..." you thought for a second. Of course, the kiss you two had just rolled around was too passionate for it to be a toxic relationship. You shot the kiss as a very intimate scene, where Aemond approached your character with some fear, and it took you a moment to return the kiss. It was a slow kiss, tense and sweet. But when you return it, it was hard to separate again. Of course, what was left to shoot that day was done with flushed cheeks and dodging glances. Sparks had been flying between you and Ewan since the day you were brought together in that room for the test.

"Yes, I think it's different from Rhaenyra and Daemon. There's a lot more respect and a lot more equality between them. From the very beginning, we were going to treat our plot from the 'first love' trope, and we saw no better way to recite our lines than the longing and desire they have for each other. And how much Ewan and I love each other transcends the screen too much."

You saw how intensely he looked at you, maybe you had said too much. You were silent for too many seconds. You put on that mischievous grin again. "As much as Ewan is a great actor, I don't think anyone can pretend to hate me."

"Wow, that means the next season is going to be very promising for your fans. Thank you so much for this time, and for the tidbits from the set."

"It's been a pleasure, honey," you dismissed her.

"Our pleasure, I love your t-shirt, by the way," said Ewan, the girl was wearing a t-shirt with a poster of Daemon and Aemond on it.

You didn't know how to look at him after that. Had your answer been something of a confession? Maybe the kiss hadn't been that intense for him and you had just made a fool of yourself. Of course it was a bit weird the last ten minutes of your promo day.

You shared a taxi to the hotel, with silly small talk. When you arrived, you were walking up a flight of stairs when your heel broke.

"Oh my God, I can't believe it! My stylist is going to kill me!" You picked up your precious heels, Ewan didn't laugh at you, but he did smile at your desperation.

"Don't worry, we'll ask someone to get us some glue."

"A branded heel fixed with glue?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't made of steel, if it breaks easy it's easy to fix."

You walked all the way up the stairs barefoot. Ewan stopped.

"What are you doing?" You asked as you saw him stand back and pull out his mobile phone.

"Smile and show that heel," he asked. When you did he took the picture and smiled to himself. "For the collection. "

"Thanks to your tip-off they won't get me for period films, you know."

"You started it, I remind you. You've taken away my reputation as a serious, up-and-coming actor."

Ewan grabbed your heels from your hand as he saw you with your hands full with your mobile and wallet.

"The truth is, that poor girl was trying to be professional and we got into a play fight in front of her."

"I think she had fun. Of course, after always answering the same thing, this time I remembered why I like this job so much."

"I hope I didn't offend you, Ewan. You know it was all a joke."

You stopped at his door, yours was just opposite.

"All of it, all of it?"

"What do you mean?"

He licked his lips, thinking about how to phrase the question. You knew what he meant, now came the awkward part. Why the hell did you start talking about love?

"All the weeks since I've known you have been filled with something...special. And you were right when you said that I can't pretend to be repulsed by you, because... I definitely feel the opposite. I like every minute that you are beside me, not only for how talented you are but...how sweet and funny everything is with you. You're also quite gorgeous if I am allawed to say. And no, it's nothing of a method actor if I tell you that I have a crush on your bones just because Aemond would be... I want to make sure this feeling isn't just mine."

"You're telling me you like me?"

"Yeah, basically yes."

"And you're asking me if I like you?" You were clearly in shock.

"It's good to know you understand me...now I need an answer."

Yes, OF COURSE YOU DO. For some reason nothing came out of your mouth, and you could only look at him. Ewan read that silence as a definitive no and, after swallowing his breath, he nodded and gave up without losing his gallantry.

"I'm going to call room service and have them bring some glue."

He turned to open his door as you suddenly became aware of everything. You didn't know what he was babbling about when he opened it, but when he turned again to offer you passage, you jumped on him. You grabbed his face with impetus, and kissed his thin lips again as you had that day on the set. This time there was something even more authentic. Ewan held your waist as he regained his balance. This kiss surpassed the one in the scene, this one felt completely free, completely real and without consequence. Needless to say, you didn't go back to sleep in your room for the rest of the promo tour.

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 15.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. plot, atsumu's shenanigans, fluff, some hurt

A/N. wah

-> MASTERLIST.

“If we win, you have to go on a date with me,”

Everything goes silent for you while Atsumu’s voice rings through your head. A date?

Before you even get to respond, he gives you a slick smile before running towards the court to catch up with the rest of them, joining them in their bow towards the other team.

You almost collapse in your seat as his words ring in your head. 

You’re not really able to pay attention to the first couple of points. Not until Foster calls for your attention, leading you to take your notebook out. Your eyes manically follow the ball, observing each play intently.

The boys are putting up a good fight. It’s fun to see the banter between the two teams, especially since Kiyoomi’s cousin and your old classmate were on the Raijins. 

They easily take the first set. A somewhat steep lead, 26-19. But the Raijins bite back on the 2nd, a narrow gap but nonetheless taking the set. The Jackals call for a timeout during the 3rd after the Raijins create a huge lead for themselves.

“Don’t let yourselves get shaken up. Close the gap,” Coach Foster takes your clipboard from your hands, talking to them about your notes.

You see Atsumu look at the notes then smile at you, which only caused you to look away due to the awkwardness.

“Alright, get back out there and steal this set!” Foster cheers, causing the boys to get riled up.

“You guys got this!” you add.

As much as you wanted the boys to win, there’s a teeny tiny part of you that didn’t in the fear that Atsumu was going to hold his word against you.

You’re scribbling down bullet point after bullet point as each point goes by. And before you know it, they take set point, and are in the lead, 2-1.

By the final set, the boys have found their flow. The sets are going up smoothly and getting hit down with immense power. 

Except this time, the Raijins are right behind them, not allowing them to reach match point. They’re at 18-17, and everyone is exhausted. 

The crowd is on their toes, the announcers are trying to keep up with the ball and where it’s going.  

Atsumu sets the ball to Hinata who finishes off the game with a crazy line shot, causing all the members to cheer along with the rest of the stadium. You feel yourself jump to your feet as you cheer.

Your eyes are on all of the men before it catches on the blonde. The two of your eyes lock before he winks in your direction. 

You weren’t sure you’d like where this is going.

———

Everyone’s chattering about the game. Meian’s finishing up his post-game interview along with Coach Foster as the rest of you make your way back to the area you set your stuff at.

“So?” Atsumu startles you.

Part of you was trying to avoid him in hopes he’d let it go.

“I never said yes!”

“You never said no,” he smirks.

You roll your eyes, “Absolutely not,”

“C’mon, just this once,”

“Hell no, Atsumu,” you stop, letting all the other men get out of earshot before continuing, “For one, I’m not interested in you. And two, that’s unprofessional and I can lose my job,”

“No ya can’t, some of the guys hook up with fangirls and other volleyball staff all the time,”

You raise your eyebrow at that.

“Not me!” his face contorts with disgust.

“Sure, sure,” you start, beginning to walk again.

“We could just order food and watch a movie, it doesn’t have to be romantic,” 

You roll your eyes at that, “Whatever, Atsumu,” you say before walking away.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” he smirks, before watching you flip him off and continue towards the other men.

———

“Not drinking tonight, Y/N?” Meian pokes.

You respond, “No, I’ve been drinking too much lately, not good for the liver,”

He laughs at that, raising his glass towards you before taking a big swig in your stead.

Messing with the straw in your drink, you peer around everyone at the table. They’re all goofing off or just chitchatting. 

“One drink wouldn’t hurt, right Omi?” you question the man beside you.

“You said you wouldn’t though,” he replies, eyebrow raised in concern.

“Ugh, no fun,” you roll your eyes.

“Y/N~” 

“Oh no,”

“Miya, you reek of alcohol,” Kiyoomi starts.

“Duh, I’ve been drinking,” the blonde retorts, an offended expression on his face. “Omi-Omi, can you take me home?” 

“Fuck no,” you laugh at Sakusa's reply. “Call a cab for yourself,”

“No one else wants to take mee,” Atsumu whines, “Y/N?”

“Nope,” you push your chair out. “It’s getting late anyways, I need to go home,”

“Pleasee,” he begs, “I won’t bother you again,”

“I’m sure you won’t,” you give a dejected look towards Sakusa who sighs, “can you help me?”

Kiyoomi nods before hooking an arm around Atsumu to hoist him up. He follows behind you as the three of you make your way to your car.

“Just throw him in the back,” you say, starting your car.

You listen as the blonde heaves as his body meets the cushion of your backseat. “Thanks, Kiyoomi,” 

“No problem, let me know if he causes too much trouble,” he pulls out his phone, “I’ll send his address to you,” 

“Will do,”

———

“Y/NNN, my head hurts,” Atsumu whines as he twists and turns. 

“Stop moving, let me help you get out,” your head hurts from how impossibly annoying he is. 

You forcefully take one his hands and use all of your strength to try and get him to sit up, “fuck, you’re huge,”

Atsumu laughs before attempting to make a joke, “Shut it,” you interrupt.

You’re finally able to get him to his two feet, using your leg to slam your car door behind you. 

“Atsumu, you’re going to need to at least try to walk, I can’t carry all your body weight,”

At your words, he straightens up.

“Do you have keys?” he uses his head to gesture to his back pocket.

Slipping your hand in the pocket, the keychain jingles as  you try to find the right key, sliding each key into the hole until it finally clicks open.

“Alright, let’s go,”

You tug the man through his living room, then his hallways until you finally make it to a room that you assume is his. You drop him on the bed, listening to him as he groans in pain. 

Pitying him, you decide to at least help him work his shoes off. Finding the switch, you turn his fan on and work his jacket off. You grab his trash can and place it beside his bedside table.

“Throw up in here,” you utter. “I’m gonna head out,”

“Wait,” 

The whole scene is giving you Deja Vu. 

“Stay,”

“Atsumu, I’m not gonna-”

“Please, Y/N,”

“You’re drunk, and I don’t even think I should be here,”

He groans, “I like you, though, so stay,” Atsumu slurs.

Your head snaps towards him, “Wha-”

“I’m sorry for everything,” he slurs, “But I like you so much I hate it,”

“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying,” 

“But I do,” his sudden change of tone scares you, “I’m sorry, Y/N,”

He sounds like a broken record as he keeps mumbling apology after apology. About how he was a dick and he didn’t know better. 

“I should’ve just treated you good from the start if I knew I’d like you so much,”

You’re so confused as to what to do, how to respond. He’s drunk, so should you even believe any words coming out of his mouth? 

“I-I’ll stay, just go to sleep,” you stutter, you find a pillow and place it on the carpeted ground next to the bed. 

“Please, just forgive me,” it almost sounds like a sob, but you doubt it, “I’m sorry,”

“Eventually, Atsumu, eventually,” 

It’s silent before the sounds of the night take over his home. You pick at the loose strands of thread on the pillow as you mull over his words.

Atsumu Miya likes you? The one who bullied you and made your life a living hell? 

You’d be stupid to say you couldn’t tell the way he treated you was changing, but you assumed it was because of what happened in the hotel. You didn’t know there were actual feelings involved. 

Part of you would also be lying if you said the way you thought about him hasn’t changed either. 

While you don’t forgive him for the shit he’s put you through in the past, he was there for you when you were at your lowest. 

The Gora incident dragged you down mentally, and while you had no choice in choosing who had known about it, he was there, and he was angry for you.

There were so many things for you to consider, but where you were, there was nothing you could do about them. At least, yet. 

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[yeollie-plz]

hello i love your writing. Could you do one where pedro annoconces that you and him are having a baby at like an interview and even bella is surprised .

I Wasn't Supposed To Say That!

Pedro Pascal x Pregnant! F! Reader

Synopsis: Pedro lets it slip that you are pregnant, shocking the world and Bella!

Genre: Fluff!!!!!

Warnings: pregnancy, reader insert, mentions of doctors appointments

Gif credits to owners!

A cute little blurb for you guys!

You found out you were pregnant during the promotions for The Last Of Us. You and Pedro had been trying for a baby for a few months now so when you saw those two lines, you were overjoyed. You told Pedro later that night when he returned home.

You had wanted to sort of surprise him so you had gotten a gift bag and put a few baby items inside. It wasn't the most elaborate plan, but it did its job. You had even found a Grogu onesie at the store, laughing at how perfect it was.

When Pedro opened the bag his confusion turned to excitement almost immediately when he saw the items. He hopped up from his chair and picked you up, spinning you around. Thanking you, he set you back onto the floor, it was then that you noticed the tears falling down his cheeks. You chuckled at him and wiped them away.

The first few months of your pregnancy went smoothly, although Pedro couldn't make it to all of your appointments, he made an effort to make it to most of them. You didn't blame him, you knew he had to work. You two had also decided to keep it a secret for a while. Both of you didn't want any unnecessary stress on the baby. You only told your families, Pedro hadn't even told Bella yet.

Today was one of those days that he couldn't make it, so you made sure to record the sonogram and send him pictures. He was currently at a photoshoot with Bella, as well as doing a few interviews. You sent a few pictures of the scan to Pedro, he sent a cute reply back, and you went about your day.

Later, you received a call from Pedro, before you could even say "Hi", he was confessing.

"I let it slip!"

You laughed, confused, "You let what slip?"

"I let the baby news slip, in my interview."

You laughed again, this time louder. When you couldn't stop laughing, he finally spoke again.

"What? Why are you laughing so hard?" He was disgruntled by your response and his actions, but you could hear a faint smile in his words.

You finally clamed down your laughing to reply, "I knew you'd accidentally let it out eventually."

Pedro started to argue, only to give up quickly and sigh. "I knew I would too."

This time you giggled at his response.

"I'm still sorry though, baby." He apologized.

"It's fine, it just means you are so excited to start a family that you can't hold it back. It's endearing, really."

Suddenly a voice came from somewhere on the other side of the line.

You heard Pedro respond to the voice, confirming it was you on the phone. All of a sudden Bella's voice was heard.

"Congratulations Y/N! I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thank you, Bella!" You replied, a huge smile now adorning your lips.

"I was so shocked to hear the news! I almost fell out of my chair!" Bella continued.

"That's true they almost did!" Pedro confirmed.

"Well I'm glad you didn't actually fall!" Bella laughed at this.

"Anyways! We gotta go back to set. I'll talk to later mi amor." Before Pedro could hang up the phone you heard Bella shout one last time.

"I'm meeting that baby when it comes out!"

"No question!" You replied, before hearing the call ended sound.

A few months later when the interview came out, you and Pedro sat down to watch it. He protested at first saying he didn't want to be embarrassed for a second time, but you insisted.

(The interview I'm referencing for anyone interested.)

As the intro played, you smiled to yourself. You loved seeing Pedro working, he was so happy. Seeing him and Bella goofing off was so heart warming.

Then the first question was asked.

"The last thing I texted?" Bella read off. They give their answer and then it was Pedro's turn.

And flat out, no hesitation he answers, "I replied to Y/N's sonogram pictures." Bella's head snaps towards him, mouth wide open in shock. He hasn't realized what he's said for a full 10 seconds, before meeting Bella's eyes with the same amount of shock.

"I wasn't supposed to say that." He says under his breath.

"Y/N's pregnant?" Bella questions.

"I wasn't supposed to say that.", is all Pedro can say again.

Then the interview moves on like he didn't just drop the biggest bombshell ever. Incredulously you look over at him. Pedro is looking in the opposite direction, covering his mouth with his hand. Ignoring your eyes that now bore into him.

"The first question!" You finally say.

"Mhm." He replies still avoiding the eye contact.

"I thought you'd at least last until the third one! But the first question?"

He finally looks at you, fear in his eyes.

He shouts out a quick "I'm sorry" before launching himself off the couch and running away.

"José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, you come back here right now!"

[jgroffdaily]

A few quotes from Katie Rose Clarke’s podcast interview on ‘Two kids and a Broadway star’. She has been friends with Jonathan since they both opened on Broadway in the same season. She didn’t see Jonathan in Hamilton, but her kids frequently watch the Frozen films.

Asked for funny stories about Jonathan and Daniel (at 12:45):

Katie: So many. They are really just hams. It's really funny because Jonathan just wants to goof around, and he's so enthusiastic and loves to be there. As soon as the show is over, he used to say when we were off-Broadway, 'I just want to put my costume back on and do it again!' Everybody else is tired and ready to go home.

But he's so enthusiastic and wants to do it all. There's this point backstage where we are waiting to go on for a scene and Jonathan sits and just talks to me and Dan. And Dan, every night, he says... he has to remind him when to go on. He has to interrupt Jonathan's story to say 'Stand by, it's almost time' and he makes sure he gets on stage at the right time. So that's kind of funny. But they are both fun and so silly.

[Talking about Jonathan, Dan and Lindsay]

The three of them are just really great people. And we laugh a lot and when things go wrong on stage we laugh.

[dalt20]

Tooning in 4. Dev Ross part 4 of 7

DL: Yeah. Well the episode all’s Fahrenheit in love and war? Process of that episode?

DR: I believe that was a script doctor job. They weren’t please with..uh.. the first writers take on it, so i took it over and redid it.

DL: Well do you remember people like John Behnke, Rob Humphrey, and Jim Peterson? They were the creators of quack pack. They wrote for darkwing duck.

DR: Not really. I didn't interact with them

DL: Well but you know them right?

DR: Of them only. Our department was getting really big by then.

DL: Well you know Doug langdale? He was working the same time as you on DD, goof troop and bonkers. Also Aladdin.

DR: Yes, I knew him but barely

DL: Well, he went in to do great things. He’s working with Hollywood producer James wan on samurai rabbit for Netflix.

DR: Nice! I no longer follow any animation as I only work in live action now.

DL: Yeah! Well we’ll save that special project until the end of the interview. But don’t worry we’ll come back to it.

DR: No worries.

DL: The darkwing Duck episode, up up and awry. Process on that episode?

DR: Don't really remember anything about it

DL: Oh well it was your lowest rated darkwing episode on IMDb. 6.9 to be exact.

DR: Well, you can't please all the time.

DL: Time and punishment? Process for that episode?

DR: My inspiration was that Christmas movie where an Angel takes Jimmy Stewart forward in time to see the effects on his family and community if he committed suicide!

DL: Oh it’s it a wonderful life, eh?

DR: Right! Are we going to go thru every episode I wrote because I really don't remember... Tad and I would sit in his office and just throw around crazy ideas. He was fantastic to play off of. So many times we'd come up with concepts just by riffing. We'd talk about movies, books, look at comic books, the news...

DL: By note, yeah it would be redundant to just go over every darkwing Duck episode you wrote .

DR: Thanks! I would have to excuse myself then. I don't think about the old stories ever! A writer must stay current or die

DL: Writing for The little mermaid for Disney and CBS .

DR: Horrible experience.

DL: Why was that?

DR: I had come back to Disney after being lent out to Universal. I was assigned Little Mermaid but my story editors never came into the office so we couldn't riff on ideas like I used to with Tad. Their was hardly anyone around then and very uninspiring. No team work or comraderie. I was really unhappy so quit soon after. I went freelance then and only worked with Tad and Kevin Hopps. I worked a bit with two other story editors but again no teamwork there.

DL: Oh. Kevin hopps was a sitcom writer. He wrote for Norman lear.

DR: Yes! Great talent and great human being!

DL: I know. So, did you watch the original film?

DR: Which one?

DL: The 1989 film with Jodi benson? The classic box office success! Putted Disney in the map again and started the Disney renaissance.

DR: Yes, I did!

DL: Thoughts on the film?

DR: It was charming. Songs were fantastic! May I ask you a question?

DL: Sure, Go ahead!

DR: I don't want to sound rude, However, I wrote for Disney so long ago. I don't understand how my thought are even interesting on such old work. How my thoughts are even halfway interesting on why I wrote something. I'm curious as to what you will do with my answers.

DL: I’ll post on my blog. My job is to know about the writing process of the episodes of some shows.

DR: I'm not ungrateful, just wondering.

DL: As a interviewer. As of saying.

DR: Most staff writing processes are the same. We team up to throw around ideas to see what sticks.

DL: Hmm. Ok.

DR: I mean it will more interesting to talk more about the dtv films.

DL: We pitch ideas to our producers to see what interests them. They may like half of an idea from me and the only half from you and then tell us to construct a story out of the blended ideas. That's the way it works.

DL: Ok. Can I ask you about Aladdin : return of Jafar?

DR: That was totally a group think story. A dozen of us sat around and spit balled ideas. We agreed on one the broke up the story with each of us writing a section of the movie.

DL: Was it true that the film was a pilot for a tv series.but Michael Eisner didn’t know how to release the show, so he told you to make a pilot film?

DR: I don't remember.

DL: Well that’s what most people say. But it was the most sold video in 1994, next to the lion king!

DR: Right!

DL: Did you got a cut of the VHS sales?

DR: No! Staff writers only got salary. It's how most animation writers get ripped off. My films for Univeral made millions but I got nothing but a small fee for writing.

DL: Oh, I’m thinking about theatrical films. Now they get the money from the films.

DR: Depends! It depends on their agent!

DL: Yeah. So you wrote 4 episodes of cro for children’s television workshop/film Roman and ABC. Tell me what was cro?

DR: It was a show all about math.

DL: Oh. So how would your episodes work with a premise of cavemen and math?

DR: Vey difficult! You have to know the conceit of the show.

DL: Oh. What age were they approaching to?

DR: Very hard to write for!

DL: So how was CTW in general, The creators of Sesame Street?

DR: Loved them!

DL: Can you tell me about them.

DR: Just very smart and innovative thinkers. I love that! I love working for out of the box thinkers. They also appreciate crazy creators like me.

DL: well were you happy mark zaslove was the story editor on the show?

DR: Mark was brilliant but was a very tough boss. Very talented and very demanding.

DL: well did you feel upset when the show got canceled?

DR: No!! It was a very hard show to write for!

DL: Well apparently CTW got upset, that's why they created the cable channel noggin.Did you know that?

DR: No.

DL: well yeah. going back to disney, you wrote for bonkers and jungle cubs.

DR: Yes. Hated Bonkers.

DL: why? was it a roger rabbit ripoff?

DR: I believe so. It just wasn't a good concept. Character was horribly unlikeable. Not at all fun to write for.

DL: who was? bonkers or  lucky? or in season 2, miranda?

DR: Both... I didn't write on season two and barely on one. I shouldn't say both, definitely Bonkers. I think so. It was a bad ripoff.

DL: well question. why anyone make a show about a cartoon in a cartoon? that makes no sense.

DR: Exactly.

DL: thoughts on the president of Disney TVA, frank price? he was your boss on jungle cubs and return of jafar.

DR: No opinion. I had enough on my plate being a full time writer with three kids!

DL: oh. well moving on to jungle cubs, how was writing the humans must be crazy?

DR: I liked that show a lot but was freelance by then and only did 2 episodes.

DL: oh how did you feel about the jungle book characters but as babies, a la muppet babies?

DR: I liked them a lot. It is always fun to imagine what an adult was like as a child! I think that about people I meet!

DL: well did you like the orginal film?

DR: Loved it!

[simonskitty]

Hii! Have you watched the movie Babygirl? It has something to do with Boss x Intern. It would totally be such a turn on if you wrote a Boss|Toji x Intern|Reader. Where an innocent intern smoothly flirts with her boss during an interview and it has his pants tightening. He has a family at home, such a dirty man to be getting turned on by this much younger intern. How this new intern would say the most naughtiest things but would act innocent about it. It was a dangerous game when it came to sneaking around and fucking like rabbits. It messed him up when she would start distancing herself from him. She could ruin his life in a second.. and he loved it. He loved being dominated by someone so much younger than him. 🥛

BTW, I loved your story on Toji x College Student. You’re my new favorite writer!! I hope I can request more soon ><

eeeek anon your such a sweetie !! i looked up the movie and now it’s in my watchlist hehe. request any time you like love ᡣ 𓈒⋅ ⩊ ⋅𓈒ྀིა ㅤ and sorry it took awhile, been dealing w/ mental issues lolz ㅤ

cw: mdni, cheating ୨୧

Toji was a perverse man—especially when it came down the way he treated his lower coworkers in the field. Bossing them around became accustomed when they signed they papers that made them under his control. Sure, he’d mess with the men—teasing and giving them a hard time. But, when it came down to the pretty ladies in skirts—boy did he have a time. He enjoyed acting being superior, being the controller in the relationships he had with his inferiors. He liked contorting their little limbs until they broke, running off from the job like scared little animals, wanting the sacred warmth of their mama bear :(.

So, when the last little lady ran off once again—record time this time around. Two weeks on the job. How pathetic. Toji knew he needed some fresh meat to work with—something tastier than the beef jerky he had put a wedding ring on a decade ago.

When you walked in, a young one, full of life—hopes and dreams presented like a bouquet of flowers resting tight in your palms—Toji knew he found himself a prime rib.

“You sure you’re up for the job?” He’s serious. Professional attire neatly ironed—the same suit he wore on his wedding day. Means just about nothing now. In a few years, once he kicks this job to the curb, it’ll be sat nicely on the racks of a thrift store, where it belongs. To be tried on by a group of silly teenagers, goofing off for fun.

Your head nods eagerly. Résumé sat in between the two of you on the conference table—waiting to be accepted. You enjoyed the praise.

“Yes, sir.” There’s a certain grin on your face. Toji likes it. Finds it endearing. Something his wife hasn’t had on her face in months—hell, even years. He doesn’t care enough to look back on the calendar. “What are your priorities?” It’s too sweet. Sweet enough to rot his teeth out.

“That depends what your qualifications are.” He leans forward, thick biceps resting kindly against the new wood. “I don’t just hire a woman because she has a pretty face ya know?”

“So that’s off my list then.” Your tone is kind, welcoming. Toji wants you to place your welcome mat on him. Step on him. He looks to your feet. Dressed in heels—professional. The kind of professional he’s acting. He’s preforming, you’re the nonfiction story.

“And you’re witty.” He’s commenting, and he observes. Toji would like to point out that your blouse is missing a button—but that would give away how he’s been focusing on your cleavage as if he was single. You beat him to it.

“And your shirt is unbuttoned.”

He looks down, suit jacket in perfect condition except for the button that had bursted from his pec size. His wife would call him lazy, unprofessional, would demean him and expect an answer for the mistake he didn’t even do on purpose.

He liked your reaction better. Walking over and bending down just the right amount so your eye to eye. Seriousness overtakes your expression. Toji likes you. Determined. Just to button up his dress shirt.

“Cologne?” Your head is tilted to the side. He knows your game. The little teasing that girls do to rile up a man. To appear innocent—doe like.

“Hm?”

“You are wearing cologne, yes?” The grin is back on your lips. It’s fake. It’s purposeful. It’s to get him on the leash that dogs are meant to walk on. “I recognize the scent.”

Brows are furrowed together in thought. His head titled the opposite of yours. “Fathers scent, I presume?” It’s stated as a statement, yet you answer.

“No. Last hook up.” Small giggles fill his ears. Making jokes during an interview. His dress pants tighten.

“What did you just say?” Face: Stoic. To his surprise, and much enjoyment, your bubbly act doesn’t lent up. All that’s left is a dumb look—you’re faking it. He’s not dumb. You can’t be dumb to be a boss. You can’t be dumb not to get caught cheating on your wife for the last three years. Sly recognizes the sly. Slick recognizes the stealthy.

“I’m very close. Surprised you can’t hear me.” Your eyes betrayed the innocent act that your lips told. Maybe you were both acting. Both in stage to perform for your imaginary audience. “Very nice suit by the way.” Smiling. Too wide.

Toji clears the lump left in his throat. Eyes in yours, sinking himself into the pools. “Thank you, miss.” His tone, different now. Lowering himself on the rank, on his prized pedestal that he had cheated his way up to. “Now let’s get back to the interview.” His hand attempted to adjust his tie—which felt tighter around the thick of his neck—yet again, you beat him to it.

Instead of loosening it, you tightened it. Toji sucked in a breath. Nervousness he felt in his gut? The same feeling he felt the first time he cheated on his wife. Dirty. That’s how he felt. Like he was committing a crime. In a sense he was. The vows he preached now just line of gibberish to him.

“The suit looks older. Get it from the thrift or something?” Your lips are quirked up, you can’t control it. You liked Toji Mr. Fushiguro.

He ignores your question. “How…how old are you, by chance?” He said the words. Like he was holding back a string of curse words that shouldn’t be spoken in the office. “On your…résumé?”

Toji doesn’t wait for an answer. He opens your file. 24. The number goes weighs heavy on his brain for a good while, calculating the age gap between the two of you.

“Sir?” Sweet voice ringing through his head like church bells. “Am I too young for you—I mean the job?” Your eyelashes bat at him. A groan makes its way through his chapped lips, he wets them with his tongue—the tongue that had seen many women’s pussies before yours.

One more can’t hurt? It’s not like anyone is gonna find out.

An almost primal look overtakes him. But your demeanor doesn’t falter. You let him have his fun. Chucking you over the conference table like you where the same weight as a stack of papers.

“Think you’re so fucking cute?” His words cut into your body like knifes, a sharp slap coming down hard on your fat ass. Toji’s eyes moving like googly eyes on his face, watching the skin ripple under his rough touch. “I bet you think you are sooo slick. Acting like a dumb, cheeky bitch. Riling me up.” The cold, office air hitting your bare ass like a slap in the face, Toji lifting up the skirt you bought a size too small, and panties being ripped apart like he was a professional in the sport.

“No, sir! I really didn’t mean any harm!” Lies. He knew better. This is what you wanted. For him to be a bastard to you. To treat you mean. To get under his skin until he broke—not the other way around. “I was—just trying to get the job!”

“Lying is ugly, sweetheart.” Another grunt, a slap to your cold ass cheek, warmed by the palm of his hand—kneading the soft surface. “Be a good girl and you’ll be my new intern, how ‘bout it?” No answer, bottom lip hugged tightly in your canines. Bad choice! Another harsh slap to your aching flesh.

“I expect an immediate response, bitch.” It’s a growl. Like an animal. The sound of his belt unbuckling and pants unzipping speeds your heart up in a delicious way.

And you do. Dick plummeting in your soaking wet walls like it’s your personal medicine. Dirty resolution to sick minded problems. Rutting your gut into the harsh edge of the table, squelching insides ringing throughout the room. Meaty thighs pressed against your own, sticky sweat clinging to your body and connecting your skin to his own.

Huge hands ram down on the table, venom dripping from the defined veins of his forearms. You wonder if the veins on his cock look the same. Sure feels like it.

Blissfully getting fucked, like your poor sopping pussy was begging for it the moment you stepped into the interview. Eyes blurry with tears—unable to make anything out.

Except for the silver band on his ring finger.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

You were hired quickly after that. He couldn’t resist hiring a pretty little thing like you; who was able to milk him so nicely without doing a thing but batting your eyelashes at him. And at the moment it was great. You worked professionally under his rule without a second thought—allowing his hands to graze your ass in the break room—or allowing himself to private meetings with you during your lunch break. Enough so that he didn’t need anything for the woman waiting so loyal to him back home.

Until you began to distance yourself.

And Toji did not like that very much.

Though, his wife seemed oblivious to his actions at the work place—you were not as naive as your looks portrayed you to be. You saw the ring. You saw the little family photo that sat on his desk—collecting dust like an heirloom that deserved to be kept in an attic—or in your opinion: sold at a garage sale.

But you weren’t a home wrecker. You had pride, dignity if you will. Which could be debatable due to fucking a man you just met—one who you now knew was married. How could you destroy a seemingly happy home? Happy—to the wife and the little boy, maybe not so much to your boss that had just been so pent up for another taste of you.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

So, it ended up with Toji on his bulky knees, grabbing onto your fishnet covered thighs that were just below your skirt. You didn’t feel remorse for denying what he needed—you felt a sense of power over him. The power that usually never fell out of his grip.

Sweaty dark hair sticking to his forehead, creased with so much frustration, cursing himself for getting down—taking himself off that high pedestal—and begging you for just another taste. His cock, pulsing in need, just aching to be dipped into your warm cunt again.

“Come on—why do this to me?” Voice rough and dirty, fed up with whatever was stopping you from giving him the same treatment as you did when you two first met. “No one has to know!” God, what was wrong with him?

“You seriously don’t feel anything—“ Eyes welling up with tears now—regret coursing through his tight muscles. “For your wife? And a kid at home. Dirty little bastard.” A tear falls gently from his left eye, running down his scarred lip.

Toji looks over at the photo of his wife and child—happy as ever sitting on his desk. Yet, he felt nothing close to sadness—but the hot burning pit of want for you in the bottom of his gut.

You grab him by his tie—basically choking him much to his selfish enjoyment. “Too much of a pussy to tell the truth? To finally break off a marriage you didn’t even want?” Pleasure enters his pores when he sees the enjoyment on your smug face. He wanted to chant over and over to be rougher.

Giving a nice good tug on the red plaid tie around his neck—now popping out with blue veins of the stress weighing on him—he drops his hand from the fat of your thighs. The thick fingers drop down on either side of you, on the floor, him now on all fours. A string of whimpers fall from his wet lips, making you laugh.

“God yes.” His breaths are short and uneven, the sound giving you a dose of adrenaline. “I’m so fucking pathetic. Just—just give me this one more time—please baby.”

“I don’t fuck married men.”

“That didn’t seem to be the case two weeks ago.”

The smart remark earning him a harsh slap to his cheek, making him moan like a teenage boy loosing his virginity.

The gracious part left in your heart—decided to give in.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

You left the office that day—cunt bare and cold against the wind that lifted under your skirt. Toji kept your panties for a souvenir to remember the first time he ate you out, right next to the framed picture of his family.

Oh, and that beautiful family portrait? It was now thrown out in the dumpster behind the office, which was better than a thrift store or a garage sale in your right opinion. As well as his ring—well the ring he decided to sell at a nearby pawn shop because he’s still filthy as hell—and likes the extra cash in case of emergencies.

© simonskitty ➸ likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! ᡣ 𓈒⋅ ⩊ ⋅𓈒ྀིა

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Racing Heart

Pairing  ::  Clark Kent  x  short/petite fem!Reader

Warnings  ::  Smut, Size Kink

Word Count  ::  4,265

Summary  ::  You never knew why, but whenever you were around Clark, your heart always raced.

A/N  ::  Just an fyi, I used Henry Cavill’s Clark Kent, but I used the comic book height of Clark, which is 6′3′’, versus Henry’s 6′1′’

You never quite understood why, all you knew was that your heart always started racing when you were close to Clark. It wasn’t whenever you saw him, or when you were just in the same room as him. It was only when you were able to notice how small you were compared to the 6’3’’ man. 

There were many occasions when this happened. Whenever Clark hugged you, helped you grab something on a top shelf, or even when he was standing so close to you, you two almost touched, your heart began racing. It had gotten to the point where you went out of your way to avoid getting close to the man, making sure you were always on the opposite side of the room from him.

There were three specific times though that made your face heat up just thinking about them.

-

The first one was in the break room.

You had managed to open the cabinet doors right above the refrigerator, but were struggling to grab the box of plastic utensils. You always forgot to bring a fork or spoon from home for your lunch, though you never had to worry about it because The Daily Planet had some. Of course, in an office full of tired reporters, others were bound to forget their utensils as well, and thus the box that was placed on the counter was now empty.

You stood on your tippy-toes, fingers barely grazing the corner of the box. The heels your wore offered no help, only adding a mere inch and a half to your height. You open the cabinet with ease, and a huff of annoyance left you when you saw the box of forks was on the second shelf. You had grown so frustrated, you began hopping just to try and hit the box that you now believed was taunting you. However, your hopping was working, as you managed to hit the corner repeatedly to make the box slowly come out. You didn’t care if you were wearing a skirt. It ended right before your knees and you were wearing black tights so it was fine.

You just needed one more good hop and you knew you’d be able to grab the box. You bent your knees only slightly, and then-

“Do you need some help?” A deep kind voice asked, followed by a large hand reaching past you and grabbing the box.

You whipped your entire body around, now facing a tie and button-down plaid shirt. You tilted your head up, seeing the man from Kansas, Clark Kent. He was giving you one of his classic golden boy smiles, looking down at you.

You gave him a small smile in return, and you could feel your heartbeat begin to grow faster. Perhaps Clark sneaking up behind you startled you, and he seemed to notice.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I just saw you were struggling for a bit,” He commented, holding the box out for you.

You grabbed it, thanking him quietly before a small idea popped into your head. “Were you watching me?”

You swore you saw a small tint on Clark’s cheeks as he let out a cough to clear his throat. “Um, no, I had walked by earlier and saw you struggling then, and, well, when I came back I saw you were still here so I decided to help.”

You let out a small giggle. “I’m teasing Clark.”

You saw him visibly ease up, letting out a small exhale. Little did you know he had been staring at you for a small while before he helped you. Watching you hop up and down had brought a small smile of amusement to his face. 

-

The second one was in the supply room.

Some people bought their supplies, and that was their stash. Others, such as yourself, helped themselves to the abundance of the supply room. What you had just ran out of only moments ago were sticky notes. You used them quite often, not only for notes but also for little drawings you did to pass the time. As a matter of fact, your entire desk was nearly covered with either small memos or doodles of random characters.

The sticky notes, unfortunately, were located on the top shelf. To add to your bad luck, there was also no stepping stool or ladder. Now, you could’ve been rational and go get someone taller to help. ‘Nah, I got this,’ you thought as you carefully began to climb up on the shelves. You believed in your climbing abilities, even in your heels. Admittedly, it was a bit awkward trying to grip onto the shelves, and the heels of your feet were hanging off, but you felt secure enough. 

You reached the top shelf with relative ease, only needing to step up two shelves. Then came the matter of the box of sticky notes that had yet to be open. There was no way you could open the box to grab the small number of notepads you needed, not without both hands though. You could throw the box down, but what were the chances of it breaking open and creating a mess? ‘I really should’ve thought this one through a little better,’ you regretted.

Busy thinking of how to get the sticky notes down(along with how often you found yourself in this sort of ‘you’ve made your bed now lay in it’ situations you’ve been in) you didn’t notice the door open and close once again. “(Y/N)?” 

“Wha- Ah!” You let out a squeal, losing your balance from being pulled from your train of thought. Your eyes widened and your heart froze, feeling your feet slip off along with your grip.

You squeezed your eyes shut, ready for the oncoming impact from the floor, along with the pain. Thankfully, the person who had caused your fall was quick enough to save you. Instead of feeling the hard tiled floor, you felt a pair of strong arms catch you. They held you close, almost squeezing you a bit too tight, but you felt safe in the embrace. You opened your eyes, blinking a few times to make sure you were indeed okay. You looked up to see who had caught you, your (e/c) eyes locking with blue ones behind a frame of glasses.

There was a clear worried look on Clark’s face. “You need to be careful (Y/N), you can’t just climb up shelves. If you need help, ask for it,” He continued to scold you, but you couldn’t focus on a thing he was saying.

Your heart was pounding, though you thought it was from the adrenaline of almost falling, and your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t listen to him with him still holding you, it was all your mind was focused on. His grip on you was frim, and you were so close to him you could smell his cologne, citrus with a hint of musk. You always knew you were petite in build, but being held like this made you feel tiny. ‘His arms are so big. Am I really this small? He doesn’t look like he’s struggling at all. When does he have the time to work out? How-’

“(Y/N) are you even listening to a thing I’m saying?”

You blinked once, looking at him with big eyes. “Um… You’re still holding me…” You pointed out, a small blush coming to your cheeks. Unable to look at him any longer, your eyes darted down, missing his flustered face.

He put you down quickly, apologizing, and you told him not to just as quickly in response. After, you thanked him and rushed out without even taking a single sticky note with you. Later on in the day though, when you had walked away and returned to your desk, there were two sticky note pads on your desk.

-

The third one was at a charity event.

You and Clark were assigned to the event together as it was a rather large event. The money being raised was for meta-human teens and children, to help them better understand their abilities safely.

After hearing the guest list, you knew you had to wear the one forest green dress you wore to every fancy event. It was the nicest, and expensive, dress you owned. You paired it with three-inch black heels and a simple opal pendant. You never like dressing up too much. Clark wore a simple muted dark brown suit, with a navy blue button-up and blue tie to match it.

Now, it was rather tricky to keep your distance from Clark this time, and you really didn’t want to get flustered during work. Before it was at work, now it would be during work. There was a difference, granted a small difference, but still, a difference. At work, you just minded your business, and on occasion, goofing off when you weren’t writing an article. Here you were supposed to be interviewing and taking notes of everything happening. You couldn’t miss something important because Clark wanted to dance and you couldn’t keep your mind straight after. He didn’t ask you to dance, but, if he did you’d refuse.

“So, Mr. Wayne, Mr. Queen-”

“Please, call me Oliver,” The blond said.

Before you stood Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen. You were intending to speak to Mr. Wayne alone, but just as you approached him, Mr. Queen also got to him. You were about to apologize and walk away, however, Mr. Queen, or rather, Oliver, insisted you interviewed them together. You had to admit, it was rather nice having Oliver around as Mr. Wayne, even though he was known as a playboy, gave you a rather intimidating aura. 

You began interviewing the two, asking them the same questions you had asked all the millionaires, but ended up talking with them and enjoying it. Mr. Wayne wasn’t as intimidating as he had seemed, and Oliver was rather humorous. It was clear to you the two were friends.

You were in the middle of laughing at a joke Oliver had told when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder. You turned your head, seeing Clark, standing right beside you with a smile. 

“Well you most certainly are having a good time,” He commented before turning his attention to the men in front of you. “Mr. Wayne, Mr. Queen, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He reached out with his free hand to shake theirs.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well…” Mr. Wayne’s voice trailed off as he looked down at Clark’s badge from the daily planet, “...Mr. Kent.”

“Call me Oliver,” He said as he shook your coworker’s hand. “I take it you two were sent together?”

“Yes,” You said in sync.

The conversation continued, and the entire time Clark kept his arm around your shoulders. You nodded along, even humming a few times in response to make it appear as if you were listening as your mind wandered. ‘Why is my heart racing? Why is he still holding me? Should I say something? What if I seem rude? I don’t want him to let go though.’ Even though you didn’t want to acknowledge it, you knew there was a small part of you that always liked how petite you were compared to Clark. 

Then, you felt his thumb begin to rub small circles onto your bare shoulder. Without thinking, you slowly leaned into his larger frame. Now, you couldn’t see it because you were still looking ahead at the two millionaires, but Clark glanced down at you, happy you had come closer.

-

You couldn’t avoid Clark forever though, despite your best efforts.

You walked down the sidewalk, holding four large reusable grocery bags each full to the brim. You lived alone, but you liked to shop in bulk so you wouldn’t have to go out often. You were struggling a fair amount though. Normally, you had a friend who’d come with you to help you out and then the two of you would hang out. Sadly, all your friends were busy for the next few days and you were beginning to run out of your favorite conditioner, not to mention you were low on food.

You didn’t drive to the grocery store either, adding to your struggle. It was only three blocks away, why waste gas? You wouldn’t be struggling much longer though.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” A male voice called out.

You stopped, eyes darting everywhere to find the owner of the voice. It took you a moment until you eventually spotted Clark in front of you, a good distance away.

“Oh, hi Clark!” You placed two of the bags down to give him a large arm wave.

It took him a moment to get to you, and when he did he looked down at your groceries puzzled. “That seems like a lot for one person to carry.”

“Yeah, I tend to bite off more than I can chew.”

“I’ve noticed,” He said with a chuckle. “Do you want some help?”

You shook your head. “No. I couldn’t possibly drag you away from your day off to help me.”

“It wouldn’t be a hassle at all,” He reassured you. “Plus, it’d eat at me all day knowing I left you struggling.”

Knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you let out a sigh, agreeing to his help. He took three of the bags, leaving you with the one bag filled with two bags of chips, three loaves of bread, and two dozen eggs. You tried to hold two bags, make the work even between the two of you, but he insisted. He tried to carry the bag you held as well, but you were adamant you held at least one.

Walking down to your apartment complex, the two of you mainly talked about work. At least you did, and Clark more so listened. This was the first time your heart didn’t start racing as you stood next to him, probably because you wouldn’t shut up about the deadline for your new article. You refused to look up at him, eyes fixed only on what was in front of you. It didn’t take long for the two of you to get to your apartment. You thanked him and told him he could go on with his day, but he insisted he helped you carry the bags up to your apartment.

You were quiet from then on, listening to Clark talk about the building. He lead you all away to your front door, standing patiently for you to unlock your door. Then, it hit you. You noticed his shadow over you as you faced your front door. Your heart quickened a bit, still, you ignored it as you opened your front door.

You speedily guided him to the kitchen to place the groceries down, and just as fast you tried to rush him out. His brows furrowed, confusion written all over his face.

“(Y/N), why are you in such a rush to show me out?”

‘Because I can’t think straight now with you around!’ You thought. Instead, you said to him, “Because I’m tired and I want you to enjoy your day off!”

He didn’t seem to believe you. He stood in front of you, a small frown on his lips. “Do you like me?”

Your eyes widened, mouth left ajar at his question.

“Because sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t like me.”

‘Oh-’ “What- No. I think you’re a great guy Clark.”

“Then why are you always avoiding me?” You didn’t think he had noticed. “Whenever I get close to you, you scurry off, and when you can’t you look uncomfortable.”

Like a child who had just gotten caught, you covered your face, too embarrassed to look at him. You didn’t want to tell him the real reason you were avoiding him, but, you also didn’t want him thinking you disliked him. It was the exact opposite.

“I’m not avoiding you because I don’t like you, Clark,” You said through your hands. You spread apart your fingers so you could look him in the eyes. “I… I avoid you because you’re… you’re so big.”

Now Clark was taken aback, a brow raised. “What?”

With a long exhale, you lowered your hands. “I said, I avoid you because you’re so… so big, and it makes me feel really small, and I can’t think straight.”

“You avoid me because I’m too big, and it makes you feel small, and you can’t think straight?” He repeated.

You nodded.

He was silent for a few seconds, tilting his head to the side. “In a good or bad way?”

“What?”

“In a good or bad way?”

You could feel your face heat up, and it wasn’t the only spot on you beginning to grow warm. Softly, you answered him. “In a good way, I guess.”

Clark took a step closer to you. “So you like the fact that I’m larger than you?”

“Yes, I just-”

“No.” His normally bright blue eyes seemed to darken, his eyes narrowed on you. “I want you to say it.”

You closed your legs closer together, feeling a heat rise in between your thighs. “I like that you’re so much bigger and stronger compared to me.”

Swiftly, Clark scooped you up, hands just beneath your bottom to raise you to his face. With how fast your heart was racing now you were sure he could hear it pounding in your chest. 

You looked into his eyes as you carefully took off his glasses and tossed them onto your couch. Then, you placed a hand on each side of his face and gave him a long soft kiss. He returned the kiss gently, though after a few minutes you could tell he wanted more, his kiss began to grow rough. 

You had wrapped your legs around him to be more comfortable, giving him a better grip on you. He squeezed your ass and in response you let out a soft moan. He lowered you a bit, only enough for you to feel his growing erection against your fully clothed core. He held your hips close, moving you against him for a bit of friction. You whimpered, lowering your head into his chest and gripping his dark grey shirt.

“Clark, please,” You whined.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He asked, voice deeper than usual.

You pulled your head away from his chest, nodding over in the direction of your bedroom. “Second door to the right,”

Almost hurried, he carried you straight to your bedroom. He stopped right at the edge of your bed, letting go and letting you fall back onto your mattresses. He crawled on top of you, placing a knee between your legs. Gently, he peeled away your clothes, tossing them to the side and leaving you in your underwear. He began peppering kisses around your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone. As he did, his hand crept its way behind your back and undid the clasp on your bra. He pulled away from his kisses to watch your breasts bounce free, eyes fixed on your bare chest. 

Feeling embarrassed, you moved to cover your chest with your hands, but he pinned your hands above your head with one hand.

A low chuckle escaped him. “Aw, are you feeling shy?”

You were about to turn your head away when Clark dipped his head down, capturing your lips again. You could feel his free hand slowly trail up your side, humming as a shiver went down your spine. He cupped your breast firmly, beginning to knead it in his palm.

Small moans left your lips, arching your back, body begging for more. You already knew your panties were wet, and you needed him, but he was still fully clothed. All the while you could feel his denim-covered erection against your thigh.

“Clark,” You groaned against his lips, “It’s not fair.”

He pulled back, brows raised. You struggled to pull your hands free, to no avail.

“You’re still dressed,” You said with a pout.

He gave you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, how about you take care of that for me?”

He let go of your hands and you eagerly reached for the end of his shirt, pulling it off of him. You almost started drooling seeing him shirtless for the first time. Your hands began to wander around his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles. Your hands wandered down further, to the hem of his pants. Just as you were about to reach for his belt, his hand stopped you.

“You’re not ready yet sweetheart,” He warned you. 

“Clark-”

He pressed his mouth against you, silencing you before you could complain. Even though you weren’t allowed to undo his pants, he slid them off with ease and you felt his long hard member pressed against your thigh. You momentarily pulled away to glance down, gasping loudly when you saw his length.

Worried, you looked back up at him. “It’s not going to fit.”

He dipped his head back down to your neck, peppering kisses across your jaw. “That’s why we need to get you ready.”

His hand moved down to your soaked panties, pushing them down so you were completely bare now. Your breathing hitched, feeling him stick in a finger and begin to move it in and out of you slowly. He picked up the pace with his finger, eventually sticking in another and he could already feel your pussy tightening.

You were growing close and he was only fucking you with his fingers. Granted, his hands were larger than yours, so two of his fingers felt much larger than two of your own.

To add on, he lowered himself so his head would be right at your dripping cunt and began sucking on your clit. 

“Ah!” Your hands went straight to his hair and began to tug. You were a mess in his hands.

It didn’t take long for your body to shudder and your hips begin to spasm as you hit your high. Clark licked up your pouring juice, humming at your sweet taste. He looked up at you, two fingers remaining and now scissoring inside of you.

“You know, you really should ask for help if you can’t reach something,” He began. “It’s hard trying to hold back when you reach for things in those tight skirts of yours.”

“Well, now you don’t need to hold back,” You teased.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, grabbing his face with one hand and guiding him back to you. You could taste your juices in the kiss, humming in delight.

He pulled his fingers out, your core aching to be filled again. Luckily, you soon felt his already dripping tip at your entrance. Slowly, he pushed himself into you and you could feel your walls stretch around him. You nearly cried, your body in a mix of pain and pleasure. Your back arched, breasts pressing against Clark’s chest. Your hands gripped his arms as tight as you could, and you were sure you were digging your nails into him.

It was so much. You could feel your eyes water and tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

Clark kissed your forehead, muttered against it, “Just relax.”

He gave a small moment to adjust, noting how your breathing changed when you had gotten used to him. He pushed himself further in though, and you cursed under your breath, body growing tense again. 

Again, he gave you a moment to adjust, despite how painfully tight your walls clamped around him. He pulled out a small amount before pushing back in, bucking his a few times to get you used to him. Eventually, your quiet whimpers turned into small moans.

“M-more,” You breathed out, breath shaky.

Like a switch had been flipped in him, Clark pulled out almost all the way and speared you, no longer as gentle as he had been before. He did this again and again, going a little harder each time at a constant rhythm. Then, with one thrust you shouted his name loudly and your cunt squeezed around his cock.

“Ah! Clark again! Right there, please!” You begged him.

Knowing he had found your g-spot, he pulled out all the way this time and pounded that same spot, earning another cry of pleasure from you. He did this repeatedly now with a faster rhythm, leaving you gasping and clenching with each thrust. With each of your breaths growing ragged, it was clear you were both close to your release. 

You wrapped a leg around his hips to try and bring him closer, and he gripped your thigh harshly. He squeezed it so tightly, you were sure there’d be a faint bruise. 

With a few more thrusts, you shuddered, juices flowing out of you again and around Clark’s cock this time. You swore you heard Clark curse, feeling you squeeze around him and juices cover him. 

His rhythm was growing sloppy, and he pumped in and out of you until he let out a low groan of relief. You took a sharp breath, feeling his warm seed enter you. He continued to buck his hips, riding it out until he finally stopped, breath heavy.

He looked at you with now clear eyes and a smile on his face. “So… Do you need help putting your groceries away?” He asked cheekily.

You giggled. “Only if you don’t put anything important on the top shelf.”

“Why not? I’ll be around to help you now.”

[asteroshearts]

[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren] 

Levi Ackerman: 

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is. 

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene. 

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @. 

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.” 

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower. 

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour. 

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!! 

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves. 

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable. 

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.” 

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc. 

On the other hand he goes to the extreme. 

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do. 

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other. 

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them. 

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS 

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face. 

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs. 

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to. 

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj 

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced. 

Eren Jaeger: 

OKAY 

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN 

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus. 

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview. 

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence. 

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something. 

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts. 

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract. 

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].” 

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?” 

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him. 

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at. 

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other. 

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background. 

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest. 

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all. 

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head. 

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...” 

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH. 

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.  

[Eren: commits war crimes 

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.] 

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger. 

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set. 

[zukkaflowers]

zukka enemies to roommates au

Sokka slammed his head on the cafe table, the noise swallowed up by the chattering of other customers. “I’m being EVICTED,” he moaned.

Katara raised her eyebrows as she drank her tea and then placed it back on the table. “Why?”

Sokka dragged his head up against the table until his chin was the only thing touching the wood and Katara made a face, no doubt thinking of all the germs that were now rubbed into Sokka’s face like lotion. Sokka couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too deep in his despair. “The landlord sold the building. And now I only have two weeks to move because everything around here is so fucking expensive and I got discouraged so I put it off—“

“Move in with Zuko!”

“...like I put everything—what did you just say?”

Katara’s face brightened, a stark contrast to the cloud of doom that had been enveloping Sokka. “His roommate is moving in with her girlfriend and he needs a new one. A roommate, not a girlfriend. And I think his place is really close to your work, too! It’s perfect!”

Sokka finally sat up, shoving his hands in his sister’s face to turn her brightness down a notch because it was hurting his eyes. “Wait wait wait, are you talking about the Zuko I think you’re talking about?”

“Is there another one?”

Sokka had many questions. “Why do you know he needs a new roommate? Why do you know his roommate is moving in with her girlfriend? How do you know where he lives? Did you just say, ‘it’s perfect’?”

Katara watched Sokka as he grabbed his drink, eyes never leaving her face in a demonstration of his seriousness, and then swallowed painfully with a grimace after realizing he’d grabbed Katara’s bitter tea on accident. “You’re such a goof,” she sighed in anguish. “Zuko and Aang actually went to university together and became friends. Zuko wants to be a teacher like Aang.”

Sokka sputtered. “WHAT?” A few strangers shot him judgmental looks at the outburst, which he ignored. “You—you—he—Aang—BETRAYAL??”

Katara rolled her eyes. “This is why we kept it a secret from you! We all knew you’d be overdramatic about it.”

“We ALL?”

Katara shrugged, finally having enough decency to look sheepish. “Yeah, me, Aang… and Suki and Toph.”

Sokka’s jaw dropped wider. “SUKI?” He clutched his heart. “Mine own bestie...”

Katara continued, “Well, it’s Toph that’s really close to him now, actually.”

“Figures. She’s always been my least supportive friend.” Sokka gasped as a realization hit him. “Is… is Zuko the ‘Captain Angst’ guy she keeps hanging out with??”

“Yeah,” Katara said plainly.

Sokka slammed his head back on to the table, where it might as well have stayed long-term.

“I’m serious, though, Sokka,” said Katara. “Zuko is… kind of okay, and obviously he has everyone else’s approval. You shouldn’t let a petty high school rivalry between you two get in the way of your current life.”

“‘Petty high school rivalry’??? Last I heard, there were four of us involved in the rivalry-ing! You weren’t too fond of him or his sister, either!”

Katara once again rolled her eyes. “All I’m saying is, the place is within your budget, it’s actually nice, and the commute is good. He’s only just started looking for a new roommate, and I promise that if you don’t try it out, you’ll regret it.”

“And all I’m saying is, if we move in together, Zuko and I will murder each other.”

Katara looked at her phone and stood up, collecting her bag and bile tea. “I doubt it. You haven’t spoken in five years, and you’ve both changed a lot. I have to go, Aang wants me to meet another stray dog, and we still have lunch with Yue, so I can’t let him get too carried away. I’ll text you details about Zuko’s place. Please at least look into it, Sokka.”

Her eyes were too genuine; he couldn’t say no. “Fine,” he grumbled, fully prepared to briefly skim over the information before moving on.

But when he did look it over, he saw that Katara was right. It was perfect. He could even walk to work if he wanted to, it was that close. The rent was well in his budget, even leaving extra leftover. He could maybe finally replace his cracked phone screen! Sokka sighed at the dim light of his laptop. The fates were telling him something. It sounded like, You will consciously choose the path of suffering, ahahahahaha.

“Sokka... wants to be my new roommate,” Zuko said.

“Hello to you too, angsty pants,” Toph replied through the phone.

“I think I’m going to say yes,” continued Zuko.

“Wait, Sokka? Katara’s brother?”

Zuko swallowed, eyes flicking to the stir fry he’d left on the stove. He’d been checking the notifications on his phone when he saw it and had immediately called Toph. “Yes.”

“Okay,” Toph offered helpfully.

“What do you think?”

Silence fell for a few seconds as Toph thought it through. “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“That’s what I’m asking you for. If he’s reaching out, he knows it’s me, so he can’t still hate me, right?”

“I don’t know,” said Toph. “Don’t you like him?”

Zuko bit his lip and weakly stirred his stir fry. “But it’s not like I’m still—I’m not hopelessly into him. It’s just. You know, a little bit.”

“You’re not even going to interview him? What if he poops with the door open? What if he… what if he eats in the bathroom while he poops.”

“Would I ask him about that in an interview?”

“If you’re not a coward.”

“Okay, I’ll interview him,” Zuko said, relenting. “What do I have to lose?”

To: Katara

Sokka: uuugughghgghghhhhhhh zuko wants to interview me

Katara: You looked into the place!!!

Sokka: yeah but i’m seriously doubting myself now

Sokka: can i really pretend not to hate him long enough to get the place

Katara: Have you considered just

Katara: Not hating him?

Sokka: …

Sokka: how could you even say that

Katara: Ok I thought so

Katara: Well just be professional if you don’t wanna be friendly

Katara: Pretend it’s a job interview

Sokka: oh yeah

Sokka: because imagining that zuko is my employer would definitely not make me hate him 400% more

Katara: On the bright side, you haven’t reached the threshold of hate yet if it can be increased by 400%! There is hope

Sokka: ha

Sokka: i scoff in the face of hope

Sokka let Suki pick out an outfit for him before going to meet Zuko at the cafe they agreed to meet at. He wanted to look nice so that Zuko, at least visually, might be inclined to let him become a flatmate, but mostly he just didn’t want Zuko to have the upper hand anywhere, not even in his fashion sense. And Zuko had grown up with money, so he’d always been well dressed.

Sokka slipped the chosen tan sweater over his button down and pulled on a pair of black jeans. The clothes covered all his tattoos—he was sure Zuko would not appreciate them. His hair, he couldn’t do much about, so he settled for tying it back as he always did.

He was so distracted throughout the train ride thinking about all the valid reasons he had to hate Zuko that he almost forgot to get off at the right stop. But the walk from the station was short, and before he knew it, he was opening glass doors, scanning faces, and—there he was. Hair hanging in his face, chin on his palm, and wearing—a hoodie and ripped jeans? Sokka cleared his mind of surprise and tried to relax his face.

He walked over.

To: Toph

Zuko: It went well?

Toph: Be more specific

Toph: For example, what went well

Zuko: The interview with Sokka

Zuko: I’m pretty sure he doesn’t shit with the door open, and he definitely doesn’t eat in the bathroom

Zuko: He was also

Zuko: really nice

Toph: Really nice to talk to? Or really nice looking?

Zuko: Shut up

Toph: Hm deflection

Zuko: I think you’re wrong

Zuko: I think it won’t be hard to live with him

To: Katara

Sokka: GEEZ THAT WAS SO HARD

Sokka: the whole time he’s being this stiff, boring, JERK

Sokka: i had to smile and nod the whole time

Sokka: no way will this keep up if we live together

Sokka: but i have to think of the commute…..

Sokka: and the view….

Sokka: and i’ll be closer to suki….

Katara: But Sokka, you will try, right?

Sokka: try what

Katara: To be nice to him.

Sokka: uh

Sokka: maybe?

By the end of the next week, Sokka had moved in the last of his boxes. He honestly didn’t have that much stuff. He did have one special thing, though. Or rather, a special friend.

“What are you doing?” Zuko asked, peeking into Sokka’s new room.

Swallowing his annoyance at being interrupted, Sokka gestured for Zuko to join him. They’d only exchanged at most a few sentences a day, and Zuko hadn’t done anything too irritating yet, so Sokka was going to try to keep his promise to Katara.

“This is my turtle, Duck,” he said, pointing to the turtle swimming around in the tank he’d just finished setting back up.

“What’s a turtleduck?” asked Zuko after plopping down beside him.

Sokka frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Then why do you have one?”

Before Sokka could answer, his phone rung from the dresser, its vibration so strong the whole room shook and Duck popped into his shell.

[xinnamoon]

Keqing character analysis

also known as “ Why I don’t ship Keqing with Zhongli, Ningguang, and yes, even Ganyu” (Also note: this is how I interpret these characters and everyone is allowed to interpret them however they want. Also no hate to the ships, they are just not personally for me)

For a while now, I felt guilty. Why was I feeling guilty? I just couldn’t find myself shipping Ganqing yet I will happily ship Chonqing, which is kinda a crackship since they never interacted. It didn’t make sense. Ganqing had all the making of a great ship yet I wasn’t feeling it. Then after Keqing and Xiangling quest, I began to realize why. Only now after much reflection can I put it into words. And it due to how I interpret Keqing. 

See, I have come to realize I view Keqing as the kid at the adult table. She highly competent, she’s mature, she works hard, and all the adults love and respect her for that. But don’t forget; I called her a kid. Sure she can talk to an adult, but put her in front of kids her own age and she doesn’t know what to do. I think people tend to see Keqing as completely adult like mid to late twenties because most of her interaction is with people such as Ningguang and Ganyu, and less with what most would call the kids of Liyue i.e. Xiangling, Xinyan, Xingqiu, Chongyun. But after her story with Xiangling, it kinda clicked in my head that “Oh, Keqing just an awkward kid.” She doesn’t hang out with the kids not because she doesn’t want to, its because she doesn’t know how. And we all know kids like this. The kid who’s the teacher pet or every adults favorite but you never really see them hanging out with other kids because they are seen as “too mature” for the others. But in reality, they want to hang out too but being surrounded by adults all the time, they never had a chance to. Never had a chance to goof off and actually be a kid. As seen in the story, Keqing wanted to be Xiangling friend but was scared of being disliked until Xiangling proved her wrong.

So I will now be discussing why I don’t ship the more popular Keqing ships due to this interpretation:

Zhongli x Keqing: It just feels like a kid who didn’t like this one superstar but got around to them after watching interviews and listen to them sing, and became a stan but won’t admit it. Its just a crush on a celebrity and plays into the fantasy “Hey, what if this celebrity actually likes you?!”  I just don’t like these types of dynamic in general.

Ningguang x Keqing: It has kinda a mentorship relationship. Ningguang is teaching Keqing the ropes, and Keqing happily learning. But Ningguang comes off as teacher figure, not really a romantic on to Keqing.

Ganyu x Keqing: This one is gonna be the most controversial but I see Ganyu and Keqing having a more sisterly relationship. When Keqing and Ganyu talked in Xiangling master chef story, it felt less like a shipping thing and more like an older sister interrupting her younger sister’s date with her crush (aka Xiangling) because their mom was there being weird. Also Ganyu voicelines gives off a more “This kid don’t know shit” to “Hey, this kid’s alright.” Keqing voice meanwhile is “screw you, i don’t respect your opinion” to “yeah, might gone overbroad. Sorry bro.” Instead of a romantic relationship, I see Ganyu and Keqing have a sibling relationship where Ganyu is a cool big sis and Keqing trying to be stand out and not be compared to her cool big sis. 

Now here’s a Keqing ship I actually really like (beside Chonqing of course): Xiangling x Keqing. 

That’s right, this whole analysis was actually a front to get more people behind this ship because it works so well but people are too into Ganqing to realize! After the Keqing and Xiangling storyline, it so clear that they like each other. And if I have to be even more controversial, I think its stronger than Ganqing because the two both give depth to one another. I feel Ganqing is kind of a flat ship as aside of “UWU soft cute gfs”, no one likes giving it more depth, which is completely possible but only a few have actually explored it. With Keqing and Xiangling, they balance each other out and make each other better. Keqing makes Xiangling more grounded while Xiangling makes Keqing more openminded. They are so cute whether as just friends or something more. It’s a shame too because they have a very solid friendship and strong dynamic and no one talks about it because once the story is done, its no longer needed. Beside the actual story, Xiangling and Keqing are really compatible in battle, and I know that’s a good reason to ship. 

Overall, this is all up to interpretation and speculation. I don’t know what Keqing real age is and I know people who ship Keqing with Zhongli, Ningguang, and Ganyu see her older than I do. I know they have their reason to ship them, and I respect that. I have shipped for way less reasons, so everyone should have fun. This is my personal take and is not meant to be set in stone. (It’s just a headcanon guys, chill out.) 

TLDR: Keqing is the kid at the adult table. Sure, she may be mature, but she are still a kid. She should be part of the Liyue kid gang but isn’t because she’s awkward. 

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

/The/ scene from the MOTS ON:E DVD

I know we said we’d post our thoughts once we’d get to see the whole DVD, so we could put it along with our thoughts on said DVD as well, but since it looks like it’ll take a while until we’ll be able to watch it, we’ll give you our thoughts on the Xkook scene in this post instead. Especially because we’ve had a steady influx of questions about it, ranging from sad ones, shocked ones, all the way over to highly insulting ones, and we’d really like to just, I don’t know, put an end to the questions? And so we can focus on the ColdTan collab and everything else that’ll happen soon.

So, here it goes:

The behind the scenes on the Map of the Soul ON:E DVD were recorded in a timeframe of however long leading up to the two days of concerts that happened on October 10th and 11th 2020. Now we have September 2021. That’s nearly a year. That, for us, is a very important fact.

Since we advocate for taking the members by their word, the story we were told, though Jimin’s and JKs versions varied from each other, is that they were goofing around in some capacity and JK lifted Jimin and spun him around. At some point Jimin started to feel dizzy and wanted JK to stop and let him down, but JK didn’t do it, so Jimin bit him. JK mentions alcohol being involved, Jimin does not, regardless, the outcome is the same. While Jimin tells the story Seokjin and Tae stand next to them listening and eventually laughing. Even Tae is seen smiling/laughing while Seokjin offers to bite JKs other side.

And that’s it.

Contrary to what one anon claimed, no, we won’t write this off as “brotherly love” or whatever, instead we’ll simply say that a year has passed since then and what happened? What effect did this bite have on the grand scheme of things? None. During both concert days Tae and Jimin were seen interacting and being silly, we even got Jimin kissing Tae’s hand and hold on to it for a moment thereafter, we had the infamous moment before Dynamite, and many other ones.

Across the past eleven months we had everything that was said and done since then, big and small things, like everything during Winter Package, Jimin saying he needs to consult Tae about his plans for whichever song he wants to make for 2021/next, we had the Esquire interview in which Jimin underlined how wonderful of a person Tae is and how that’s what gifted Jimin Tae’s friendship and that they are best friends, we had Let’s BTS with Tae saying he likes Jimin the most, we had so, so many other things, and we had FESTA 2021 where Jimin called Tae his chingu and JK his dongsaeng.

The bite happened, sure, Jimin and JK spent time together, sure, but it all happened eleven months ago. Therefore Admin 2 and I are still holding on to everything we’ve said in our posts, as well as hold on to our opinions and thoughts. This doesn’t change anything. The only thing that did change was that vmin have gotten steadily louder, for their standards, and they’ve even been seen out in public together again after so much time. Just last week during RUN we had two hugs, them excitedly interacting, and the whole bak bak (doggy style) moment, as well as so many other things.

Admin 2 wants me to add that they were not a fan of the moment (their opinion would be the same regardless which two members would be involved in it, just to be clear), though of course they would never want to police or control in which way the members interact and show their affection, but, despite all the sad asks we’ve gotten etc, they would prefer if we’d never get a scene like that with Tae and Jimin. A moment like that would, in their eyes, rather disqualify or at least diminish their possibility/probability of being romantic since they don’t think anything about that moment (and its backstory) was romantic at all. 

[barzzal]

who’s the girl, barzy?

summary: mat gets caught up and preyed by the press as he does a post-game exclusive with the boys.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: boyfriend barzy getting all smitten

↳ genre: fluff, established relationship

↳ length: imagine; 1.4k

↳ masterlist: the barn

note: omg my first barzal fic i hope y’all would like it. pls do let me know what you think so i could get better!! also, thank you @matbaerzal for answering my ask before and for being so nice! i rly appreciate it :)) hope you like !

It wasn’t until after the game that a couple of sport analysts cornered the boys in the locker room, eager to get a piece from them about the heated game they just had with the Flyers.

The questions were all being thrown at Jordan and Tito for a few minutes before it went sideways when Mat excused himself to answer a call from you.

You were already heading your way out the lounge when you called him. You didn’t want to disturb anything now that you know how stressed he gets whenever he’s in a match. He zones out pretty hard that’s why you tend to keep your distance and respect him by cheering him outside the rink. 

You love it anyway, maybe a little more than you actually love him. Fine, that was a little too much, but that’s how it is. To see Mat grace the rink and be the person he was meant to, it was, indeed, everything you could ever ask for him. 

“So, Mat, we’ve been hearing a lot of rumors going around outside the boy’s locker room.”

His teammates begin to laugh. Evidently teasing the now smitten Barzal, whose cheeks are much reddened that it usually was. 

The two of you have gone out for only a few months and you both haven’t made it official. Not that it was important but Mat did like the idea of your name attached to his. 

He ran his hand through his pitch black hair as he let out a nervous laugh. “I suppose those are the good kind?” 

“Shouldn’t you be the one answering that?” The reporter asks again. 

“We might’ve seen you with a certain someone strolling around Manhattan days before the big game.” 

Tito taps Mathew’s shoulder, nudging him on his side like two teenage boys getting all giddy by the mere thought of a girl agreeing to go with them for the snow ball. 

“They know it, barzy.” Tito teases further, earning a scoff from Mat. 

“Shut up.” He says, stifling what he truly feels. 

“Come on, Mat. You can tell them.” Jordan says, adding up to the banter going around the room. 

Mathew can’t help but smile as he thinks of you waiting for him outside. He wanted to wrap the interview as quickly as possible but if it means that he gets to finally talk about you publicly, enough for the whole world to see; letting a few minutes of his time would be pretty much worthier compared to the number of tedious interviews he’s already done since he started playing. 

“Well, er- her name’s y/n.” Mat starts with a warm smile spread on his lips.

“And she’s really amazing. I mean— I can’t even put it into words but she’s really special to me.” 

Tito fakes a cough, chiding a comment underneath. “Caller. Call her.” 

The reporters were quick to notice what Tito had said so they were immediately caught up on that bit of information. After all, they’re all up whatever Mathew has going on. So, the mere thought of Mathew Barzal dating? That’s big news.

“Was she the one who called earlier?” They ask to confirm.

To which Mat only nods as an answer. 

“Why don’t you call her, Maty?” Jordan teases, using the name you frequently call him when you’re left alone in the room. Unfortunately, on one of those times, Jordan was nosy enough to catch the two of you in deep of each other’s presence, calling each other by their respective pet names. 

The others began to cheer and join in the banter upon seeing Barzal hide his undeniable shyness from the camera. 

“See? We’ve finally got a lover boy!” Tito rolls his eyes, mocking his best friend’s predicament.

“What’s the real score though? You know you’re gonna answer it anyway.” 

Truth be told, you and Mat have never discussed anything that’ll lead to this question. The answer of who you both were in each other’s lives in particular. Mat is special to you, yes. It obviously goes the same for him as well but Mat, despite being a man whose calculations have been as precise as every goal he had done, couldn’t bring himself to ask you who he really was in your life.

‘“We haven’t talked about that part.” He shortly says, scratching on his eyebrow to mask his growing uneasiness. 

“You can talk to her now.” Jordan suggests.

“That’s… interesting.” Tito arches a brow and throws his arm over Mat’s shoulder. 

“You’d go on about this forever, huh?” Mat shakes his head. Admittedly wanting to do it himself despite all the teasing his mates were throwing at him since a while ago. 

𖥸

With crossed legs and a hand on your chin, you were in no doubt beginning to grow bored of waiting for Mathew. People were walking past you already for about half an hour when you noticed that Mathew and the boys were being interviewed on the screen. You took your airpods off and decided to tune in.  

The boys were laughing at Mathew who was now busy typing on his phone, all smiles as he glanced between it and the people watching him. 

When your phone starts to ring and you see Mat’s caller ID flash on the screen, you assume that he wasn’t typing and doing some silly dare the boys talked him into doing. But why was he calling you when he was still in an interview anyway?

Wait, was that what this is about?

You were hesitant to pick up the call as there were a few people in the lounge but you did it anyway. You just have to hope that Mat knew what he was doing because if he’s ever going to play you like how he messes with his teammates, he’s definitely gonna hear an earful.

“Hi.” You quietly greet him, cautious people might begin looking towards where you’re seated. 

“Hey.” Mat greets you back at the other end. You see his wide smile upon hearing you answer.

“Where are you right now?” He starts to ask. Knees jumping up and down, letting you know that he was starting to grow anxious. 

“Uh- just, just outside. You know, where I’m usually at after the game.” You nervously laugh, afraid that by telling him where you actually are in front of everyone watching would only cost you attention you most certainly were not ready for. 

“Alright, I just wanted to ask you something.” He starts, a smile still evident on his lips. 

“Couldn’t it wait ‘til after your interview?” 

“Well, It can. But I don’t think I’d have enough courage to ask. You know how nervous I get around you.” He chuckles. The sound you most absolutely love. 

“M’kay then, what is it?”

You see him share one last look with the boys before he clears his throat as he finally asks you the one thing he’s been dying to know ever since you two had gone much exclusive. 

“Beau’s been dying to know—” Mat jokes when Tito cuts him off, “That’s not me, y/n! It’s all him!” 

You suppress a laugh whilst watching them clash on screen. The sight wasn’t new to you so you’d figure it wouldn’t harm to join the friendly banter going on live from the boy’s locker room. 

“Why Beau? He already knows.” You bite your lower lip trying to remain calm and easy as you watch him act like a 15-year-old boy getting a girlfriend for the first time. 

Mat’s eyes widened upon hearing what you said on speaker. Tito, however, despite having that conversation with you, only shrugged and acted like he didn’t know what you were talking about. 

Jordan leans on the phone and says, “Just ask her, maty.”

You were quick to bury your face in your palm. Jordan continues to goof off and taunt the young lad. 

Mathew rolls his eyes, which was unfortunately caught on cam, as he shifts his angle a little to the left to give himself the privacy that’s been long gone the moment he agreed on calling you live. 

“What am I? I mean… are we—” 

“Are we, you know?” 

Mathew massages his nape, exasperated after realizing the mistake he had done not thinking things through just in case you were going to say no. Nonetheless, just like what he does for a living, he decides to just shoot for it and hope he’d get the goal he’s gonna be known for for a while.

“Let’s date. Like for real. What do you think?” He asks. Cheers loud and clear on the set. 

“I thought you’d never ask, Barzy.”

[wordupcomics]

We would like to see more about the adventures of the boys (Violet, Scoops, Becky and Tobey) when they were teenagers we really love to see our favorite team interacting with each other 💗

Hey Anon! Sorry this took so long! It took me a while to think of things and then when I did I wanted to draw them but by that point I'd already kept you waiting for a while so I only have two drawings but I have a lot of ideas I will share through text instead!

First lets do the moment with the drawings

So it starts with the gang as teenagers, all four of them in detention. The girls and the boys got detention for different reasons, and ask the other why they are there. First Becky and Violet ask Tobey and Scoops why they're there. It's a long answer, so I'll just have Becky sum it up for you

Becky:...So...let me get this straight...Scoops saw Mr. Smith and Mrs. Stevens kissing in the parking lot, and decided to right an article about it and why we should remain loyal to our partners...and then Tobey pointed out that if anyone saw that article he could damage Mr. Smith and Mrs. Stevens marriages and get in trouble. So to avoid getting in trouble you two decided to flush the article down one of the toilets in the boys locker room and it clogged the pipes and flooded the boys locker room and you two got detention for causing damage to school property????

Tobey: Yes we hear the irony that we did that to avoid Scoops getting in trouble and then ultimately got in trouble because of it

Becky: Not even on my list of concerns right now. First of all...why did you have to destroy the article? Why couldn't you have just not published it? You could have hidden it or thrown it away?

Violet: No they should have recycled it!

Scoops: What if I recycled it and someone found it? Or what if I lost it and someone found it? it would spread like wildfire!

Becky: Okay, but why flush it down the toilet??? You could have shred it?

Violet: Or painted over it!

Becky: Or used one of Tobey's robots to destroy it

Violet: Or you guys could have thrown it in my fire pit when you came over next weekend to roast marshmallows!

Tobey and Scoops (realizing they're right): ...

Becky: And secondly (Looks to Violet as they both try to choke down a laugh) Mr. Smith and Mrs. Stevens are married

Scoops: I know, that's why I wrote an article on cheating Becky!

Violet: No, you guys, they're married to each other

Tobey and Scoops: ...What..??

Becky: Mrs. Stevens wanted to keep her last name so she never changed it

Violet: They've been happily married for twenty years

(Tobey and Scoops then realize they got detention for basically no reason at all as Becky and Violet burst out laughing):

Tobey: Oh yeah! And why are you two here, hmm? What bad thing could the two most rule-following students in the school have possibly done to end up in detention with us?

Becky and Violet (paniced): No reason

Scoops: No no no! We told you, now you gotta tell us! What'd you two do?

Violet: ....Well...Becky brought her laptop to school today so we could look at Pretty Princess fanart at lunch...

Scoops: At lunch? A teacher shouldn't give you detention for goofing off on a computer at lunch

Becky: Yeah the problem wasn't when we were looking at it...the problem was the particular fanart that just happened to be on the computer when the teacher passed by...

Tobey: ... What in the world kind of fanart were you two looking at?????

Becky: We were just looking at normal fanart! As it turns out some people one the internet are...messed up and we accidentally ran into some fanart that...um...

Violet: Will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life...

Becky: and was ultimately deemed "highly inappropriate" by the teacher...

(Tobey and Scoops then burst out laughing):

I'm gonna put some more scenarios under the cut!

Becky begged Tobey to read this amazing book she just loves:

Becky: Have you read it yet?! Wasn't it amazing?!

Tobey: ...Becky you are one of my dearest friends but I have to be honest with you-This was the worst book I have ever had the displeasure to read

Becky: (Yanks the book out of Tobey's hands and "covers it's ears") (Gasps) IT CAN HEAR YOU!!!

Tobey: ....please see a shrink...

Mrs. McCallister is finally ready for Tobey to meet her new boyfriend and Tobey is super nervous. Scoops gets this idea that he'll look up the guy in the phone book, call him, and pretend he's randomly interviewing people on the phone for a school article, when instead he's actually getting information Tobey needs to get to know the guy better so he knows what to expect (fun fact: this man would later become Tobey's stepdad, his name is Alex). Scoops has the phone on speaker so Tobey can hear

After a bunch of oddly specific questions:

Alex, on the other end: ...Are you a friend of Claire's boy, Tobey?

Scoops: ...

Alex: ...

Tobey: ...

Scoops: Bye! (hangs up in panic)

Tobey: SCOOPS!

Scoops: He was on to us! I panicked! What was I supposed to do???

Tobey: NOT THAT! YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE SAID YES!

Scoops wrote an article about WordGirl. He didn't see anything wrong with it...Becky did...

Becky: How could you say that about me!?

Scoops: I didn't think you'd care!

Becky: Well I do!

Scoops: I'm sorry, Becky. I didn't know you felt so insecure about this or I never would have written it, I promise!

Becky: Insecure! I am NOT insecure!

Scoops (raising an eyebrow): ... define insecure

Becky: ...

Scoops: ...

Becky: I'm leaving! (leaves)

Tobey is in the park reading, Violet is also at the park, doing an art show. She walks up to Tobey all sad and sits next to him

Violet: Hi..

Tobey: What's the matter?

Violet: Someone came to my art show and said he thought all my art was terrible...

Tobey: ...Who in the world would say such a thing???

Violet: That guy over there...

Tobey: You know he's probably just jealous of how talented you are and is masking his insecurities behind rude comments

Violet: ... You really think so?

Tobey: Oh yes, I used to do it all the time..I still catch myself doing it to be honest

Violet: Well now I feel bad for him..

Tobey: Well there's nothing you can do about him, so if I were you I'd just go and continue your art show like normal

Violet: You're right Tobey! Thanks! (leaves for her art show)

Tobey: (pulls out his remote) Insult my dear innocent friend? Not on my watch

Becky and Violet talking about Pretty Princess

Becky: I mean...I know none of it is canon but it's still a good idea right?

Violet: Becky! This is the best AU idea I've ever heard!

Becky: (gasps) I'll write fanfiction for it and you draw fanart for it?

Violet: YES!

Becky and Violet: (Excited screams)

Tobey, now officially having given up crime, is doing community service (of his own volition) to make up for his past actions. Becky, Scoops and Violet come up

Becky: How's community service going?

Tobey: It's awful! But I'm glad I'm doing it

Violet: Want some help?

Tobey: No, it wouldn't feel right

Scoops: Well, can we just sit here and keep you company then?

Tobey: ... Of course!

In high school, Violet got into acting and often performed in school plays. Her first play ever she invited all her friends to come see, and of course they were happy to watch her have fun on stage! However when they saw the play it was....horrendous. Worst thing they'd ever seen. After the play was over Violet happily came over to ask them what they thought of it. Important note: Violet and Scoops were dating at the time

Tobey, seeing Violet coming: What do I do??? I can't tell Violet it was terrible! It would break her heart! But I can't lie to her either! That's wrong!

Becky: Tobey, relax, just do what I do

Violet: Hey guys! What'd you think?

Becky: you looked like you were having so much fun!

Tobey and Scoops: Yeah you did!

Violet: I was! But what did you think of the play itself?

Becky: ...Well...honestly you guys mispronounced so many words I couldn't really enjoy it. I mean it's not your fault, no one uses those words anymore but you know...I know how they're pronounced and can't stand when words are pronounced wrong so...

Violet: Oh that makes sense! We'll work on that! Maybe you can tell me how to pronounce them!

Becky: Sure!

Violet: Tobey what did you think?

Tobey: Um...I wasn't really a fan of the genre so I probably didn't enjoy it as much as I could have

Violet: Oh, what kind of genres do you like?

Tobey: ....a consistent one...

Violet: (laughs) You're so silly Tobey! Scoops! What'd you think?

Scoops: ... Um... I loved it of course! I mean, you were in it! And I love you! So how could I not love it!

Becky, having learned from the WordGirl stuff, later told Violet the truth and explained that she didn't like the play at all and only liked that Violet seemed so happy doing it. Violet took this well. Tobey and Scoops however...:

Scoops: PROBLEM PROBLEM PROBLEM!

Tobey: What?

Scoops: The school paper wants me to review the school play! I can't say it was good, that goes against my oath as a reporter! But I can't say it was bad either, I already told Violet I loved it!

Tobey: Ask someone else to do it

Scoops: No one else has the time to take on any more assignments! What am I gonna do?! I don't wanna upset Violet!

Tobey: um...uh...could you post it anonymously?

Those actions eventually lead to Scoops and Violet breaking up (don't worry, they did get back together years later)

Scoops took his and Violet's break up particularly hard, and Tobey tried to cheer him up by finding weird things happening in the city for Scoops to write about. It didn't help a whole lot, but Scoops appreciated Tobey trying to cheer him up. Meanwhile Becky, who by this point all her friends knew she was WordGirl, essentially tried to fix Scoops and Violet's now ended relationship, and between trying to help them, school work, hero work and family life, she ended up stretching herself a little too thin to the point that all her friends had to do an intervention and tell her to stop because it wasn't good for her.

I've mentioned before that Becky's necklace in Word Up in significant and special to her. This necklace was actually made by Scoops, Violet and Tobey. Note the fact that her friends made it isn't the reason it's so important to her, but it is sweet they took the time to make it for her.

For one of his birthdays Tobey invited his friends to a demolition derby. When his friends said they thought it odd he'd be into that, he stated it was his new outlet for seeing destruction now that he was no longer doing crime.

Hmm that's all I have for now! If you are wanting more and have any particular questions or ideas, feel free to send more asks! If they are a little more specific I'll probably get to them a little sooner

[thoroughlyskeptic]

OK.  So.  I have a dear friend who was always desperate to be in a relationship.  His home life growing up was a mess, mother abandoned the family after the third child was born, father and grandmother were left to raise the kids.  He never felt stable when it came to women.  So, whenever he started seeing someone, he became exactly what she wanted him to be.  He’d ghost his friends, stop doing the activities he liked, start doing everything his current girlfriend wanted.  Some of the girls were nice, so it wasn’t TOO bad, but there were a few… let’s just say I was gearing up for a fight at least twice.  (You manipulate my friend by telling him you (fake) miscarried his (fake) twin sons?  Fuck you.)  This happened over and over and over, and every single time his friends could SEE it, but we couldn’t DO anything about it.  It was YEARS, a ton of broken relationships, and a failed marriage (to a really great woman, but not the right one for him) before he figured it out.

I see similarities with Benedict Cumberbatch’s relationship with Sophie Hunter.

I only became aware of BC after S2 of Sherlock.  My husband told me about the show, and I watched it and was hooked on this unusual looking man with the funny name.  Thanks to the wonders of the internet, I was able to find out more about him. 

“The secretary with the jade hairpin is his girlfriend!” 

“His parents are actors!” 

“His niece is his assistant!”

SPARKLY SHOES!

LAMB STATUE ON THE RED CARPET!

“Look how much fun he and Martin Freeman have together!”

Photobombing U2!

Dorkybatch!

The horrible Caitlin Moran (ptooee!) fiasco when he looked so crushed, and Amanda was comforting him.

“Go pay attention to Egypt” signs while filming.

I could see a change when STiD came out- he stepped out of that limo and I thought “Oh.  He’s a moviestar now.”  But he still didn’t seem to take himself too seriously, goofing around on the RC with the rest of the cast etc.

Then The Imitation Game.  What a great film!  He was marvelous as one of my persona heroes. 

By then I knew he’d broken up with Olivia and had been seen canoodling with various other women around the world.  Good for him, ride that wave.

The Oscar run though, suddenly there was this woman who seemingly came out of nowhere, his one true love.  OK- I get it, sometimes true love happens fast, I can personally attest.  But… there was something different about this relationship.  In the past he wore his affection on his face and in his body, looking at his partner with unabashed adoration, clinging almost to her side.  His body naturally leaned toward her.  Now he seemed stiff and unsure.  Yeah- he would reach out to her, he would hold her back, but it was so stiff.

So who is this woman?  People started looking.  She’s an opera director, she’s won awards, she’s an avant garde actress, she’s a mime, she’s done this, or that, or some other thing.  But… it wasn’t all quite true, was it?  To the point that one organization had to put out a statement saying that yes, THEY won the award, but that SHE hadn’t been involved.  Whispers of “Harvey’s Girl” started circulating.  SoHo House.  Red carpet girlfriend to prove that even though he played a gay man, he was absolutely heterosexual.  Racy pictures of her suddenly disappearing from the internet. 

Then there was her behavior.  The red dress stomp off is still so vivid.  Who does that?  I’ve seen the excuses- “She’s shy!” “She was pregnant and sick and had to go throw up!”  I don’t think those are any excuses for poor behavior.  Showing up separately to events, enough so that when the clutch dropped in Palm Springs you can SEE that he was completely thrown off by the bump reveal.  Not just that he was surprised she was being so blatant, but that he was surprised there was a bump AT ALL.

People started digging further, and the timeline started to unravel. “They met on Burlesque Fairytales!”  “They’ve been together for 13 years!”  “They’ve known each other since they were teenagers.”  “They started dating in May/June/last year!”  But why did her ex-boyfriend keep popping up?  What about the women he dated after Olivia?  What about Olivia herself? 

Then that bump.  Look- I firmly believe she was pregnant.  What I do NOT believe is that she gave birth in June.  To be as big as she was on the honeymoon and then the EXACT SAME SIZE in May?  Does not compute.  That pesky timeline again.  A first-week-of-June birth would put conception in early to mid-September.  There are photos that suggest the couple wasn’t even on the same continent at that time.

Jump to now.

Dorkybatch is gone, replaced by ridiculously expensive watches (Yes- I know they’re for Dr. Strange, but it’s still off putting that someone who used to be so invested in social justice … does that) and rambling interviews about breathing (all the while staying in an exclusive resort bungalow.)  Grins and hugs on the RC for his costars turn to stone face and awkward hand holding (or grab assing) with his wife.  (I’m not saying he never smiles at her, but it is a marked difference)

I’ve noticed over the years that if one of the people in a relationship is 180* different with their SO than they are with other people, or that much different than they used to be before- that’s a red flag.  You can try to spin it that he’s matured since he became a father, or he’s so annoyed with his fans’ dissection of his relationship that he freezes up when he’s in public, but I don’t think that’s it.

Speaking of fans.  Don’t you think it’s odd that in the past 7 years we’ve seen him out with his family only what- 3 times?  You cannot tell me that with a fandom that maps his favorite spots and flies around the world to see him that nobody, NOBODY has ever seen the family and taken a picture.  “Oh, but they’re respecting his privacy!”  I don’t buy that.  (Used tissues and wine glasses ring a bell?)  People have taken photos of Rihanna at the grocery store.  Chris Hemsworth at the beach with his children.  Milo V’s short shorts practically broke the internet.  Just look at DeuxMoi and you’ll see that people have no shame about taking sneaky photos.  This tells me one of two things- either fans have taken pictures and passed them around behind the scenes (unlikely- they would have been leaked) or that nobody’s ever seen the family together.  How?

Do I think he’s being mind controlled, has been drugged, is somehow being influenced by the Illuminati?  No.  But I do think he’s changed.  And there’s nothing we can do but watch.

************************************

Thanks for responding.

[shirtlesssammy]

5x12: Swap Meat

At a bar, a woman sits alone, enjoying her margarita, when one Sam Fucking Winchester wanders over and asks the barkeep ---NOT at all awkwardly--for a banana daiquiri. He’s either deep undercover or something is seriously hinky. There’s a lot of sugar in banana daiquiris, Sam. Crystal introduces herself and Sam introduces himself as Gary! She then propositions him, much to his cluelessness. 

The poor dumb boy puts it together and “would love to have the sex with [her].” We then pan over to see Sam REALLY isn’t Sam at all.

Housatonic, Massachusetts

36 Hours Earlier

Sam and Dean visit Donna, an old babysitter --well, she was a maid at a motel they’d stay at while John went hunting. She looked out for them. It seems that her family house has a poltergeist problem. Bumps and broken items have led to the thing attacking their daughter, Katie. 

Katie lifts her shirt to reveal “Murderd Chylde” carved into her abdomen. I'd get some serious vaseline on those wounds if you don’t want scarring, Katie. Yeesh. Sam and Dean tell the family to skedaddle while they take care of things. 

They stop at a diner for food next. Dean picks up their order from the counter from Banana Daiquiri Gary! He’s not impressed with Sam’s salad shake, and neither is Dean (but when is he ever?) 

They talk about Donna and how she’s got a good thing going. Dean asks Sam if he’d want to settle down at all and have a family, and Sam answers, “no.” Dean looks contemplative about it. 

Sam finds lore on the house. A Samuel Pickett owned the house in the 1700s and hung a woman, Maggie Briggs, there for witchcraft. As the brothers talk, we watch Gary hyperfixate on Sam. 

Sam goes to check out the town’s archives for where Maggie Briggs was buried. As he’s walking back to the motel, he hears a noise and then gets shot in the neck with a dart. Lights out, Sammy. 

He comes to later, wearing Gary’s work uniform. He starts walking but the cops pick him up claiming his family is worried about him. “My brother called you?” Sam asks, incredulous. 

No. The cops take him to a suburban house where a worried couple pops out and hugs Sam in relief. He asks who they are and in return they want to know if he’s drunk. 

They keep calling him Gary. It’s then that Sam looks in the window of the cop car --and sees his reflection. He looks like Gary!

Meanwhile, Gary is checking out his hot new bod. Dean shows up and wonders where he’s been. Gary placates him with food. He also tells Dean that the maid saw all their weapons and they better get out of there. While Dean uses the restroom, Gary gets rid of all Dean’s phones. 

THEN he has the NERVE to ask to drive. He doesn’t get far. And quite frankly, Dean’s spidey sense should be spiking through the ceiling at this point. 

Sam keeps trying to reach his brother, with no luck. He calls the motel to learn that the two dudes in room 102 left in the middle of the night. So, Sam starts digging through Gary’s stuff and discovers items of witchcraft. Before he can dig too much further though, he’s called to the family breakfast. 

His “dad” starts grilling him about getting drunk the night before. Sam’s got better things to worry about than placating some dude he doesn’t know. He also needs to learn more about Gary, so he starts interviewing the family about what they've noticed in him lately. 

The dad wants to know if Sam’s “smoking drugs”. Sam then asks if they’ve ever seen him with a black book recently. His sister, Sydney, reacts to that question. The mom reacts to him eating toast --his allergy to wheat gluten!! 

Sydney later reveals to Sam that there IS a book.

Gary and Dean are still working the case. Dean informs Gary that they have to search graves for Maggie’s body. Nerd of Nerd’s Gary knows exactly where Maggie Briggs is buried: Isiah Pickett’s basement. He also reveals that he murdered her and her unborn child before burying them in the basement. Dean connects the ‘murderd chylde’ clue. 

Once in the car, Bob Seger starts blasting, and Gary tells Dean to turn it up. 

Sam continues to leave messages for Dean. He ALSO has to navigate the tortures of high school again. Sam meets two of Gary’s friends and asks where his locker is (he’s still drunk, after all). 

For This is a Look TM Science:

(And let’s pause for a moment to enjoy Sam’s striped hoodie. Definitely one of the top 5 wardrobe choices on this show.) 

He finds the book in the back of Gary’s locker. 

Gary and Dean find the grave in the basement of the Pickett house. Dean gets to digging while Gary aims his gun at Dean. Before he can shoot, the ghost comes out to play. It starts beating up the both of them but Gary’s able to burn the bones.

Gary’s extremely nosy friends follow Sam out of the school. While it looks like we’re gearing up for some good ol’ Ferris Bueller shenanigans, Trevor shoots Sam in the throat (GAH) with a sedative dart. 

Meanwhile, at a bar, Dean orders a burger with extra bacon and a fried egg on top. Excuse me...I need to go eat an entire branchbouquet of kale in retaliation. Mysteriously, Sam orders the same thing. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Dean asks. But it’s just a lighthearted comment and they raise a toast to a successful hunt.

Gary’s over the moon overabout the day he just had. His joy makes Dean suspicious the way nothing else has. Oh, you sweet sad sunflowers. Gary lays out Sam Winchester’s happiness list: 1) gun 2) getting drunk 3) looks like Sam Winchester.

“You ever feel like your whole future is being decided for you?” Gary asks. OH YES, Dean tells him. I forget for a minute that I’m watching a season 5 episode as the Dean-Winchester-feels-trapped-in-the-narrative-sorrow threatens to overwhelm me. But there areis no time for FEELINGS when the narrative must go on! Cut to later in the night, when Gary gets picked up by the woman in the bar from the cold open. Dean puts his thinking face on while Gary ecstatically leaves the bar. 

Back at Kid Kidnapperz clubhouse, Sam’s tied up. Trevor calls Gary and asks him if he’s killed Dean yet. “I’m working up to it,” Gary replies while sitting shirtless under a leopard print bedspread in the cougar’s lair. (Just...no on SO MANY LEVELS.) Sam listens to this with great alarm.

Sam demands to know how these rando teenagers know Dean. “Everybody knows Dean. He’s Hell’s most wanted,” Trevor retorts. Sam puts two and two together and comes up with a coupla dumb kids who took a deep dive into witchcraft and started talking to demons. 

“You’re just kids,” Sam laments. Trevor and Nora fill in more blanks. They were messing around with a Moste Dark Booke of Witchcraftery, as one does, and suddenly Gary went into a trance and drew a fairly decent picture of Dean. Gary also heard a voice - it was setting a bounty on Dean’s head, and apparently broadcast through the witch trance network.

Gary heard a voice in his head - it was setting a bounty on Dean’s head, and apparently broadcast through the witch trance network. Nora now has second thoughts, so Trevor ups his stupidity game and starts to summon a demon. 

That night, Gary creeps into the motel room and grabs Dean’s gun up from a nearby chair. He cocks the pistol. . He aims it at the shape under the covers...and Dean grabs him from behind and demands to know who he really is. (Silly Gary, Dean stopped sleeping under covers after he got back from Hell.)

Back in Trevor’s basement, he finishes the demon summoning. Nora looks up with black eyes.

She’s very interested to learn that they’ve got Dean Winchester in their sights. Trevor tells her where Dean is immediately. She absorbs this and swings her attention to Sam. She realizes it’s Sam “Boy King of Hell” Winchester sitting there and is suddenly VERY interested. Trevor asks her where his reward is, and when he pushes for it she first taunts, then kills him. (All the while Sam is in the background GRINDING HIS TEETH.)

Gary weeps, tied up in the motel room while Dean listens to voicemail after voicemail from Sam. Gary babbles about Sam’s whereabouts but it’s too late. Demon!Nora saunters in and lobs Dean across the room. Wherps. She offers Gary a powerful future but first he’s got to meet “the boss.” All he has to do is say “Yes” and they can have a nice chat together! Very sneaky! Dean attacks her while she’s cooking up her big plan and then Gary and Dean tag team an exorcism, freeing Nora of the demon. Later, Gary performs the incantation to swap bodies with Sam again. (I shake my head yet again that THIS is the ONLY body swap episode we got in the whole fifteen season run. What a goddamn waste of comedy potential.

With Sam restored to normal (or as normal as a Winchester can get), Dean confronts Gary. He tells him that if he were just a little older, he’d be dead right now. With those comforting parting words, they bring Gary and Nora back to their lives. Sam tells Gary to quit his whining about his life. It’s possible to rebel in a “healthy, non-satanic way.” Furthermore, he tells Gary that he wishes he had his life. Once the kids are out of earshot, Dean comments on Sam’s kind words. “Totally lied. Kid’s life sucked ass.” The apple-pie family crap is stressful, Sam decides. 

Maybe they just don’t know what they’re missing, Dean rejoins, and I calmly tie an anvil around my ankle and drop it off a cliff into a dramatically large canyon. 

They head out into the rainy night...to fight another day!

Doppelquöter:

You ever think that you'd want something like that? Wife, rugrats, the whole nine?

No matter how much you fight it, you can't stop the plan. The stupid, stupid plan

Um, I wouldn't exactly call praying to our dark overlord “goofing around”

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