#putting this on my blog because i helped aaaaand i want people to remember that i exist lol

[chalkeater]

i have NOT drawn enough talk sprite redraws. Heres some warm ups!! RAAHH 🦖

[animealways]

Surprise, i'm married bitch!

Natasha x fem!stark!reader/ contains making out, semi-public sex, strap on, marking, spanking, daddy kink, paparazzi (you set the internet on blaze by not only revealing you're married but to none other then black widow herself.)

Y/n stark potential suitor

A new stark family member?

Shadowcap is real?

All titles of gossip blogs articles about your love life. You couldn't help but chuckle at the last one. Its your and steve superhero ship name.

Captain america + iron shadow

"Oh this is some top noch comedy" you said to yourself. "What is 'top noch comedy'?" You lifted your phone showing the shadowcap article to nat and how it mentioned all the times you went shopping with steve to find the perfect decorations for the wedding and more. She shook her head at the article with a amused smile. "What people won't do just for some clicks. What are you doing?"

She raised a eyebrow at your smile. Natasha has learned thanks to you there are more then one way to smile and that includes mischievous smile. One you're wearing right now. "Ohhh nothing just giving them some light criticism."

Ohh sooooo~ close 🙃

You got the wrong avenger tho-

you commented and nat rolled her eyes at you. You always loved messing with the media. They always were a pain in the ass for as long as you can remember. Not surprising since your father is tony stark after all. He is often in the news either because of drama he causes or because of a new invention and that was BEFORE he became iron man. Oh yeah your step-mom is pepper the fucking co-ceo of the biggest company on earth that you run together. Literally anything happens that even semi involves your family aaaaand your face ends up on the fucking news.

The sec you post the comment you see fans going 'omg what!!!????' 'Nooooo my ship😭' 'dcvsxvjgxvbcf7gkg' 'wowowowow WHAT WHO IS IT THEN?!?!"

You laughed at the way your fans freaked out. "You know you should probably let everyone know were a thing." You looked up at your wife having your head against her thigh.

"Anything particulaire in mind?" "No you're better at that sort of thing, remember your last interview?"

You chuckled remembering jimmy fallon face when you told him about a particulier snowboarding vacation with your dad. When neither you or your dad realise the hill you were on was actually the end of a small cliff causing both of you to fall into a thick layer of snow. The only reason you didn't tell this to pepper was because your dad bought you a massive chocolate cake to shut you up. Oh man was she angryyyyy when she found out.

"I will never forget that scolding." You laughed while natasha shook her head but didn't bother hiding her smile. That damn near divine smile.

"Btw there is this gala i got invited to." You mentioned randomly remembering.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You put the finale touch to your eyelashes and felt ready to go. You wore a velvet red button up collar shirt with 3 upper buttons lose to show off your chest with the nanotech container on it. The rest of your suit was black and nothing of it really stood out exactly what you wanted.

It would bring more attention not only to the nanotech container on your chest but also your jewelry. Specificly the necklace with your wedding ring around it. For the longest time you and natasha would hide your relationship but now that you're married her both of you wanted let the world know who the 2 of you belonged to.

You put the edith sunglasses on before looking to your left admiring natasha beauty. You recognised the dress she wore, the same one she wore as 'natalie rushman'.

You walked behind her, hugging her from behind and putting your chin on her shoulder.

"Well if this doesn't remind you of something?" Natasha smirked remembers the first time she met you. "Yeah, i remember how you couldn't take your eyes off of me." She teased, you merrily shrugged. "What can i say? I have good taste. Common, lets go." She took her you hand once done with make-up.

You drove to the gala with happy in a another car behind you for safety measures. It didn't matter both of you we're avengers. You knew better then go to such a big event without any back up. Too many goddamn memories of parties going wrong.

As you arrived to the event. You ran around the car opening the door and unbuckled the seat belt for natasha. She took your arm and walked out together with your bodyguards right behind the 2 of you.

Paparazzi were, well they were annoying as always. They're shouting for you to either turn their way or about your life. You swear on your mother's grave the paparazzi brought a bonus level of anger out of you. Maybe its the belief your mother taught you that respect should be earn, not given. Maybe its that you had to deal with them your entire life or maybe its because they're basicly paid stalkers that made your blood boil either way to you a street fighter deseveres more respect then the paparazzi, atleast that took more then just being a invasive asshole to do it right.

But atleast you had natasha to keep you company. ''You know...'' you turned your attention to the red head trying you best to hear her over all the shouting. ''I have seen childeren that are quieter then them.'' you chuckled at the commentary.

''You think this is bad? You should be glad you didn't have to deal with them in the early 2000's they were 500 times worse.''

''You can't be serious.''

''I am. 1 of them actually got so close to me they pushed me and caused me to fall face first into the pavement.''

''Really, wow i can't imagine tony reaction.''

You smiled remembering how happy carried you to the car while your dad cussed everyone out. ''Ahhh yeah, good memories. I remember my dad calling them 'motherfucking disrespectful uncultered dipshits'.'' natasha laughed at the mental image.

''Hey, atleast he taught me how to protect the important things in life. Isn't that right misses stark?'' You looked lovingly at your wife.

Your wife

Misses stark

Man, you can't get enough off of those words. Natasha didn't say anything but the look she gave you said more then enough. Its funny really, this is the same woman that use to have a probleem with you hugging her once a day but now she had her last name changed for you. You took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

right under the wedding ring

As soon as you realised what you just did you immediately covered your wifes ears. Good thing too cause less then a second later you physically cringed at the shouting from the crowd.

how long have you been married!?

did you take each others last name?!

stark/black widow are offically off the marked!?

That last one caused both you and tash to glare at the crowd. Sure your relationship was a massive secret for the longest time but who would want to inmagine their partner getting flirted with?

''Lets go inside before we getting hearing damage or start a fight.''

''You took the words right out of my mouth.''

You followed natasha as the noise died down. Luckily for the both of you the night went fairly well. You went around and introduce natasha as your wife. People we're naturally curious about your relationship how long you have been together, who asked who, who proposed normale things you gladly answer. Then were the questions that would make your eyes tired from barrel rolling so much.

''So who is the man in the relationship?''

''Dude, thats like asking wich chop stick is the fork.''

Natasha giggled at the surprisingly accurate comparison. The other people at the table also had a good chuckled out of it. ''Ahh, s-sorry didn't mean to come over insensitive. I just don't know alot about these things.''

''Its fine but call me or my wife a dyke and i will start a fight.'' you joked causing the man to let out a nervous chuckle knowing you're capable of it and would gladly do it. After all its not every day you meet a woman that kicked a grown ass man at 18 years old but you did after the pap tried to take a pic under your skirt. You swear that the news didn't let go of it for a month long.

while natasha drank her vodka you stood right behind her pressing your crotch. She pressed back feeling the bulge in your pants while smirking.

''ты хочешь трахаться в ванной, детка?''

''you want to fuck in the bathroom baby?''

You whisperd softly in her ear while having tight grip on her hips. You had learned russian in the periode where the avengers broke.

Fuck are you happy she's back in your arms

''let me enjoy my drink first''

You smirked at her responds. You knew the alcohol would make her a shameless, horny mess. You didn't miss the way people looked at your wife though. You couldn't blame them natasha beauty was something to die for but there was no way you were walking out of this place without making clear who belonged to who. She continued to have more drinks as you whispered nothing but sweet compliments and in return she kissed you teasing about the people who must be watching the 2 of you being in love.

''good, the more people watch faster the news travels.''

Tash turned around wrapping her arms around your neck and kissed you. You hummed being able to taste all the different drinks she had from vodka to tequila. You pulled away and dragged her to the nearest bathroom. The second the door was closed she practically pounced you. Your hands immediately went to her ass giving it a tight squeeze. Her legs wrapped around you hips and started to grind against the bulge. You put her on the sink and pushed her dress up revealing the black lingerie with a wet spot in the middle.

You rubbed her tight, not quite touching her where she needs it.

''y/n i ne-''

You cut her by slapping her pussy making her jump and grabbed her by the throat. ''whats my name?'' You growled into ear. She pushed her breast forward close enough for them you the feel them against your own.

''i'm sorry daddy''

''better, now show me how much of a slut you are''

You put the palm of your hand against her pussy and she immediately started to grind against it. Your free hand went to her cheek forcing her to look into your eyes.

fuck those gorgeous green eyes

You kissed her softly, something natasha always loved is how gentle your touch was her even in moments like these she could feel the love behind the action. She whined against your lips making you smirk. 'awww baby do you need something?' You put you thumb against her lips . 'daddy please fuck me~' She whined her hands going under you shirt looking for skin to skin to contact. 'you want my cock, baby? you want daddy cock inside of you?' You used your index finger to pull on the thin fabric then let it go making it snap against her.

''hmm, please daddy claim me. i want you to mark me.''

''then get on your knees.''

She did as you demanded getting and loosened the belt pulling your pants down revealing the red strap. Natasha wasn't full on drunk, was she getting there? Oh for sure but not to the point she couldn't notice it was the strapon wanda magicly enhanced so you could feel everything like it was a real cock. She started to kiss the tip while holding eye contact with you.

this woman is gonna be the death of you and you couldn't care less

You sighed out of relieve at the feeling. As she slowly took the fake cock into her mouth you gentle went with your hands thru her hair the smile on your face never leaving love the sight and feeling knowing. ''who is daddy good little slu- ahhh you are baby FUCK!''

You used one hand to hold the sink while the other was still natasha soft red hair. You could feel her take the entire length, humming to please you as much as possible and her tongue moving around. You let this happen for abit enjoying how skillfull you wife mouth is before pulling her of. You panted while looking her messy face lipstick ruined by all the drool. You pulled her her up to and kissed her quick but passionate kiss.

''bend over for me and beg maybe then i let you cum over my cock''

She did as you said making sure her ass was on full display for you and wiggled it abit. You pulled the lingerie off of her and put them in you pocket. ''don't hold back on the noises. i want everyone near us to hear how much of a whore you are, understood?'' ''yes daddy''

You hummed before the upper half of you body was covered in nanotech and you didn't miss the way natasha started to move her ass more when she saw it reflected back in the mirror. 'keep looking in the mirror i want you to see everything' As soon the words left you mouth you started to spank her with the back of your hand now covered in metal hand. She yelped with every hit and you didn't stop until her ass was bright red. You didn't bother with giving her a warning just slamming your cock into her since she was dripping so much. Natasha screamed and you penetrated her at a animalistic pace. You threw you head back at the warm tight feeling of pussy and her moans sound divine. If she let you, you would do this for the entire night.

You grabbed her by the throat pulling her close enough for you to mark her entire back of her neck with hickey. Out of no where you stop your movement making natasha whine for more. You groaned feeling her squeez around.

''please daddy i need you! i'm a good girl please just let me cum over your perfect cock!'' She kept begging while you looked at her like she was a piece of meat for you to devour. You eventually flipped her over and started all over again. You made sure to cover her neck and breast with hickey while she clung on you. 'ahh daddy you're making me cum' she shouted and you were sure anyone in the same hall as the bathroom could hear her. You pulled her closer so your foreheads were touching each other while you used your right hand to keep her close you left hand went to her clit. Your left hand turned into a clit sucking vibrator sending natasha over the egde. You made sure to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible.

As soon as your left hand was off of her she grabbed it and sucked it. The pretty sight made you groan and natasha smirked. She let go of you hand with a pop sound while you gentle pulled out her of making her moan and leaving her pussy cleching around nothing. You pulled your pants back up covering the fake cock before natasha grabbed it.

''you haven't cummed yet'' A devilish smile made its way onto your face. ''oh im not done with you yet baby'' Natasha bite her bottoms lips in anticipation. Then the door opened , you first instinct is to cover up tash with your body as somone ran past straight to the toilet.

''i'm sorry i couldn't hold it. i swear i didn't see anything!''

You rolled your eyes as nat hide her blushing face in you neck. You made sure to clean her up fast and the nanotech went back into the container. She however didn't move from the sink. 'i-i cant walk...' You laughed at how shy she sounded in return she glared and pouted at you. 'don't laugh at me'

''sorry sorry babe you just look so cute'' You giggled before carring bride style. You walked out and people were staring at you and tash after all none of them ever seen black widow this... soft. As soon as happy saw it he rolled his eyes and told the other bodyguards they could take the rest of the night off knowing you murder them if they ever interrupted your kinky time with nat. ''please just make sure your naked ass doesn't end up on the news like your dad did.'' Happy said and you laughed at how your dad ended up drunk butt naked on the roof top after a wild party.

''don't worry about it i wouldn't let a media shit head near my wife''

You walked out to your car as people were shouting for your attention. Natasha had her head nuzzled into your neck making you smile. You gentle put her in the passenger seat and you drove off to a calm and quite place in the woods.

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maybe i will write a part 2?

[emsylcatac]

Compatible

Summary:

When Ladybug brings some of the old magazines she used to read as a teenager to a sleepover with Chat Noir, they end up doing an 'Adrien Agreste compatibility test', something that she has done more than once as a teenager.

There's no way her partner could beat her at it and get a higher score than her. No way.

Read it on AO3

Ladynoir identity reveal commission for @multibug​​ ♥ | Donation drive @mlbforblm​

Thank you so much again for beta-reading this, @rosekasa​ ♥

The proceeds of this commission go to Color of Change, a racial justice organisation centered on the Black Lives Matter movement!

You can learn more about MLB for BLM & the different contributors on the blog, and you can view info for commissioning me for art or fics here!

You’re of course very welcome to commission any of our talented contributors and donate if you can! Otherwise you can help us to spread the word by reblogging the different posts from the blog! Thanks for your help ♥🤜🤛

* * * * *

Ladybug looked around the room at the mess she and Chat Noir had left from the evening before. Scattered UNO cards on the table, empty glasses and half empty bottles of wine and cider, a plate with only three or four cookies left, and abandoned game controllers on ottomans in front of the small TV.

They always left a mess when they had a sleepover together; always because they went to bed way too late and were too tired to clean it all.

She loved that.

She turned her head to look at her partner half-sitting beside her on the sofa bed. The sheets were pulled up his waist, and he was wearing a dark grey t-shirt v-neck as a pajama that suited him particularly well. She herself was wearing a red with tiny black polka-dots tank top, and a pair of small black pajama shorts.

Chat Noir was smiling at whatever he was reading on his phone. Ladybug propped her head on his shoulder, but kept her gaze away from the device.

“What are you looking at?”

He kept silent a few seconds, still grinning, before answering. “I told my best friend about what my supervisor said to me yesterday. He’s telling me he’s gonna buy an electric racket for mosquitoes and slap him with it.”

Ladybug chuckled. “I like your friend.”

Chat Noir was doing an internship somewhere in the city, and while it seemed like he enjoyed it, his supervisor sounded everything but kind to him. Something Ladybug couldn’t understand, knowing how nice her partner was.

“I thought you would,” he replied, turning his phone off and putting it on the nightstand.

After defeating Hawkmoth four years ago, Ladybug and Chat Noir had both taken a break to focus on their studies. He had been somewhere abroad from what she gathered; she had studied in another city. Now they were both back in Paris and had been for a year; a new threat needing the heroes had arisen.

It had been good to see her partner and best friend again after all this time, a deliverance of sorts. Being older opened up to a lot more freedom than they had as young teenagers: they were more lenient regarding their identities, for one. Ladybug even offered more than once to reveal each other, but Chat Noir told her he was not quite ready yet. It had surprised her a lot, but if he needed time, she would let him take it.

Still, it hadn’t kept them from getting even closer than they used to be.

Ladybug wished they could be even closer. She suspected that Chat Noir probably did, too, yet neither of them pushed for it. The very comfortable friendship they had now established was both a blessing and a curse in that regard.

While it was easier for her to stay at her parent’s house for now, Chat Noir had had a new personal studio. It wasn’t big; just the kind of place you’d expect from any average student having to rent a far too expensive place for what it was, courtesy of living in Paris—but it was enough. It was great to plot against their enemy… or for sleepovers, a habit they had taken soon after he got it.

Chat Noir looked at the pile of old magazines she had brought—they were the ones she read as a teenager, the ones she gossiped about with Alya during their sleepovers. She had thought it could be fun to try that with him, even if they were definitely not up to date.

“We forgot to read those!” he exclaimed, getting up.

She watched as he closed his eyes to pick one at random, and brought it back to the bed.

“Which one did you get?”

“Let’s see… oooh, ‘Clara Rossignole is looking for a Ladybug and a Chat Noir for her next music video’”, he read aloud. “Wow. How old is that stuff?”

“Er, I think I must have been fifteen or something so… Seven years old?”

“Amazing! Exactly what I need to keep up with the latest juicy gossip!” He grinned.

Ladybug laughed and leaned on his shoulder to have a better look at the magazine. She remembered that one with this cover very well, it was the one where there was a personality test about—

“‘How compatible are you with teen model Adrien Agreste’, page 21.” Chat Noir fake-gasped. “Spiiicy! Let’s do it!”

As he opened the magazine, Ladybug hoped that it wouldn’t be too obvious to see how easy it was to find the page right away. Despite the years that had passed, the page was still bearing the marks of having been opened and opened again and stared at for far too long, more than any other.

If he noticed, Chat Noir chose not to comment.

He grabbed a four-coloured pen on his nightstand. “Wow, my Lady, that’s a lot of ink on there! We can barely see the little symbols in front of the answers.”

Well. She had had to take the test more than once to get a better score. She’d been aiming for a hundred percent compatibility, a hundred-and-one if she was lucky, or over-compatible—as she should have been back then according to herself.

Not that she would admit that to him.

“I had done it with friends. That’s why it’s so… inky.”

Chat Noir hummed, suspicious, but didn’t push further.

“And it doesn’t work with symbols, it’s a points system. So we can’t cheat,” she added.

She would know. She had tried.

He snorted. “You remember this surprisingly well, Buguinette.”

She didn’t comment on that very accurate observation. Instead, she dropped a kiss on his cheek.

“Why do you want to do that test anyway?”

“Because it’s fun! And to see if I can get a better score than you,” he said.

She scoffed. “As if you would win! I’m unbeatable at this.”

That made him snicker. “Unlike with UNO?”

She glared at him at that and pulled her head away from his shoulder. He brought her back with an arm around her, and kissed her temple apologetically.

She begrudgingly accepted the kiss. Very begrudgingly. (She couldn’t help but smile at the contact of his lips).

(She also couldn’t help but snuggle closer to him).

“So,” Chat Noir went on, “what do we have for the first question… Oooh, ‘which colour is your favourite? Green, Blue, Pink or Red?’,” he raised a brow. “That’s not a lot of choices in my opinion.”

“Blue,” Ladybug automatically answered.

Chat Noir snorted. “No, yours is pink Bugacheat, I know that well enough,” and he circled the answer in red. “However, mine is blue.”

“Maybe I changed favourite colour.”

“No, you didn’t,” he replied flatly. She pouted. “Next question. ‘What is your favourite season?’”

Ladybug pondered. She liked all seasons, after all; they each had their charm.

“Can’t we pick all of them?”

“Well, apparently you can’t because, according to this very accurate magazine, Adrien Agreste has only one favourite season.”

“Write ‘autumn’, then,” she decided.

He circled it in red for her, and circled spring in green for him.

“Okay, ‘how many times do you blink in the span of a minute? Fifteen, eighteen, twenty or twenty-two”, he frowned. “Where did they even get these information?”

“They have very good sources.”

“Sure,” he snorted. “Does Adrien Agreste himself even know the answer to that?”

“Well, of course, it’s in the magazine,” she laughed.

She knew it couldn’t really be trusted, but she liked to take these facts as straight science when she was younger.

“God, these tests are so bad,” Chat Noir shook his head. “How is that suppose to tell you if you’re compatible with him or not?”

“Hey! Don’t criticise my magazine or you’ll offend mini-me!”

“Well, Babybug, I think the questions from your magazine are dumb. And I’m answering… I don’t know... eighteen maybe?”

“Put twenty-two for me,” she said proudly.

She remembered the answer corresponding to Adrien’s to that question, but he didn’t need to know that.

They went on like that through the rest of the test, from morning routine to favourite scent—“Ew, why are one of the answers camembert?”— and gut reaction when faced with an akuma—“you would jump off of a building, Kitty”.  Ladybug tried to answer what ‘Adrien’ would do instead of herself, and Chat Noir corrected her each time—“I choose passion fruits!” - “there’s a reason you always take strawberry ice-creams, my Lady. You can’t fool me!” — until they arrived at the end of the test.

“Aaaaand I’ve got a score of…” Chat Noir paused, looking and calculating the results, “eighty-six percent! While you, on the other hand, despite trying to cheat on at least five questions—”

“Hey!”

“—have a score of… Aw, only forty-one!”

“What?!” Ladybug all but screamed.

“Ah, yes, it looks like I beat you Buguinette!” The little shit sounded so proud with himself.

“There’s no way your score is higher than mine,” she said, snatching the magazine from his hands and scrupulously recounting the points herself.

There was no way, indeed.

And yet.

Chat Noir knew how to count, alright. Ladybug was silently fuming.

No, it didn’t matter anymore whether she was compatible with her old crush or not. And yes, the magazine was probably incorrect anyway.

And sure, Adrien was twenty-two now, not fifteen, so his answers would probably not be the same anymore, but still.

She had to defend young-Marinette’s honour.

And in honour of young-Marinette’s past struggles and unconditional love, there was no way Chat Noir of all people could be more compatible with Adrien than herself.

Chat Noir’s laughters brought her out of her shocked horror.

“Aw, don’t pull that face, Bugachups, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose! Maybe you’ll beat me to the next! Say, they don’t have a compatibility test with Chat Noir by any chan—”

“You cheated.” She stated it calmly but coldly. She had to be calm about it. “You must have.”

Chat Noir guffawed. “I’m not you! Also why so upset? Afraid I ruined your chances with…” he took the magazine back from her hands to read the caption under the test’s title, “...Paris’ favourite teenage boy?” He frowned. “Hey, shouldn’t that have been me at the tim—”

“No, I’m not afraid of anything like that,” she grumbled. “It’s just that… I used to know everything there was to know about Adrien Agreste back in the day.”

He blinked. “Everything?!”

“Everything,” she repeated. “Also, I don’t need to do a Chat Noir compatibility test to know that I’d get a hundred percent at it.”

He snickered. “I sure do hope that you’d get a higher score with me than that poor forty-one percent.”

She hit him with her pillow. For making fun of her, and for not having taken the bait.

“Yes,” she insisted, “I’d have a better score and I’d get the highest, thank you very much.”

He gently pinched and squished her cheeks while nuzzling his nose against hers teasingly. “Aaaww, of course we would be the most compatible Buguichou, we’re made for each other!”

Better.

Still, they had become so comfortable with each other now that it could mean everything and nothing.

“Chat Noooiiiiir,” she whined in lieu of pushing further, “stop annoying me!”

He released her and laughed. “You love it when I annoy you!”

Yes.

“No.”

He snorted and shook his head. “Anyway.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “What was it about you knowing everything there was to know about teen model, Paris' darling extraordinaire Adrien Agreste?”

She groaned. “Please can we not?”

“No. I want to know more about the boy I’m eighty-six percent compatible with, Bugaboo! And who better to teach me all I need to know other than the finest expert you aaaaar—”

She snatched the magazine back from his hands and swatted him with it.

“You’re” —swat— “not” —swat— “more compatible than me” —hit— “with Adrien” she had him pinned on the bed and he was giggling, trying and failing to push her away, “because I had the biggest crush” —swat— “on him and I was” —swat— “in love with him, do you understand?”

She stopped hitting him to throw him her deadliest look.

“Wait, what?” he said, still grinning from the fight. “You were in love with him like… in love love?”

She crossed her arms. “Yes, I was in love love with him.”

He snorted. And then, slowly, his body shook more and more, the laughters coming from him getting louder and louder.

“You—,” he choked, raising a finger in her direction, “you were in love with Adrien Agreste when we were fifteen.”

She sighed. “Yes, I was in love with Adrien Agreste. Go on, laugh all you want, ‘ha-ha-ha, Ladybug was in love with Hawkmoth’s son, ha-ha,’ so funny.”

“Oh my god, yes, Ladybug in love with our enemy’s son,” he kept laughing. “Waaait, wait wait, hold on, that’s excellent but… when you told me you were in love with someone else, back then…”

Her stomach fluttered at the memory that yes, Chat Noir used to be in love with her.

“...Does that mean that he was the boy you were referring to?” he looked at her expectantly.

She didn’t reply.

“He was?!" he exclaimed. “Ladybug, that’s… that’s… that’s hilarious!” and he was back laughing, even louder than before.

She glared at him, before grabbing her pillow once again and hitting him with it.

“No, no—I’ll stop, I’ll stop! But you don’t understand, this is so funny!”

“I really don’t see why.” And with that she lay down on the bed and turned around, her back to him. “Adrien is a very sweet person, I had great taste.”

Today, however, by loving Chat Noir? Maybe not so much, she decided.

A warm hand settled on her arm.

(She still had great tastes).

“Say, my Lady… if you were to meet that Adrien boy today and he were to ask you on a date… would you say yes?” She could still hear the remainder of his amusement in his voice, but he seemed to have calmed down, now.

She turned around to face him. He was lying on the side, propped on one elbow with his head resting on his hand. She pondered his question a few seconds. She hadn’t seen Adrien in a while, after all.

And… there was someone else now. She wasn’t fifteen anymore.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

He was rubbing small circles on her arm.

“Oh?” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice. “What would fifteen-year-old-Bugbooboo think about that?”

She snorted. “She wouldn’t believe I’d ever say that. She’d think I lost my mind.”

He chuckled with her.

She frowned. “But… well, we all change when we grow up and… Adrien is probably still a great person. And I mean, with what he had to go through, I admire him a lot. But also, there’s some—… there’s…  there’s...”

“There’s what?”

You.

“Chat Nooiiir,” she tugged at the kwagatama around his neck instead, and raised her eyes to his. She bit her lip. “You know.”

She couldn’t get the words out of her mouth. Even after all these years, confessing was still something she found herself struggling with. But she kept his gaze as he silently searched hers; she wouldn’t back away or hide from it.

She kept it as he slowly took the hand that was fiddling with his necklace and lifted it to his lips. Kept it as he gently kissed the tips of her fingers. As she felt a shiver and the heat rising to her cheeks and was sure he could see it, too.

And she still kept his gaze as he lowered their hands on the mattress, and caressed hers with his thumb.

He knew.

And he reciprocated. She put a hand on his cheek, and slowly brought her face closer to his. She was about to close her eyes and the gap between them when a finger on her lips interrupted her.

Chat Noir closed his eyes, letting a small smile tug at his lips. Took a deep breath. Exhaled.

Opened his eyes again and looked right into hers.

“What if…” he said nervously, almost as a murmur, a deep contrast to his amusement from earlier. “What if I told you that… that you could have both? In one person.”

Her eyes widened. She sat up suddenly and grabbed his face. Did he mean that—

“Chaton?!” she said surprised —questioning. Her eyes frantically searched his.

He took one of her hands and brought it to his mask. And slowly nodded.

Carefully, shaking, she removed the home-sewed mask from his face.

His eyes were closed, but it was the unmistakable face of Adrien that met her. And older Adrien, an Adrien who was still the same but also so different.

An Adrien who was Chat Noir, and had always been—an Adrien that she knew more than she could have possibly thought.

As he opened his eyes to look at her, she took both his hands and kissed them. She noticed that she was crying when she saw tears dropping on his ring. She didn’t care.

It suddenly hit her that this boy had had to fight against his own father—and that it was certainly why he hadn’t been ready to show himself before. What he just did now, finally revealing himself to her—this was huge.

But looking at his gaze, soft from her actions, and feeling his hand wiping her tears away, she decided that it was probably not something he wanted to discuss now. And she didn’t want to ruin their moment, their reveal, with pity and talks about his father: the very thing he had probably tried to avoid when he was still insecure about who he was under the mask.

She giggled through her tears. “You’re beautiful,” is what first made its way out of her mouth.

That made him laugh and oh god, she was making him cry too now.

“Take off my mask. Please,” she whispered, kissing his fingers once more.

He sat up next to her, are gently put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Then, he did as she told—and gasped.

“You—you’re Marinette!”

She giggled again. “And you’re Adrien!”

“I was thinking about you the other day. I was wondering how you were doing and…” he trailed off.

“And now you know!”

“And now I know!” he grinned. “You’re wonderful… I missed you so much but… it also sounds weird to say that now, doesn’t it?”

“Well… we could still catch up, around a coffee and uh… is this date with both Chat Noir and Adrien still on the table?” she asked.

Was she being a bit too straight forward? Probably. But she had troubles to control her mouth right now.

“When will it not?” he breathed.

She squealed and wiggled on her spot, grabbing his face. But before she could come closer to him, she faltered and stopped, remembering his finger on her lips a few minutes before.

“Uh, can I kiss you this time?”

He chuckled, a soft blush gracing his cheeks—and kissed her in answer.

She immediately closed her eyes at the contact of his lips and kissed him back—slowly, deeply, tasting him as much as she could. He tilted his head to give her a better access, and she climbed on his laps to be more comfortable—and closer to him.

Marinette lost count of how many times they came back for each other, of how many times their lips met, or their tongues. She felt so happy and so good—so in love.

When they separated and looked at each other, shy and giddy smiles on their faces, she couldn’t help but drop another tender kiss on his cheek, and caressed it afterwards.

“Now I know what you found so funny earlier,” she told him.

“It’s hilarious, right? We were so dumb!”

“We still are,” she added.

“We definitely still are. I can’t believe I didn’t know that Marinette was in love with me in collège, wow.”

“Is in love with you,” she corrected, still caressing his cheeks. “Present tense.”

She would always remember the look on his face when she said it. He was in love with her too, there was no doubt about it.

Suddenly, she was hit with a realisation and looked at him in horror. “Wait a minute. That means… That I have only forty-one percent compatibility with Chat Noir?!”

Adrien burst out laughing. “My Laaaady, you can’t seriously believe these tests, right?”

“Well, no, but we still should have way more compatibility than forty-one percent. Who even has that with their super-hero partner?”

“Marinette,” he said, amused, “my Bugabisous…I don’t even have a hundred percent with myself. It would be hard to live in my own head.”

She blinked. “You’re right. That test is dumb. But how do we know if we’re the most compatible then?”

Adrien chuckled, and put his hands around her waist, bringing her closer to him. “Well, you’re the Guardian, I think you can make up the rules for that.”

She put her arms around his neck. “That’s true. Then I decide that we’re a hundred percent compatible.”

“A hundred percent, uh?”

Their foreheads were touching now.

“A hundred-and-one,” she whispered against his lips, and she kissed him.

[having-a-hyperfixate]

Secret Reports

Gonna just edit this thing and put line breaks as I get more of them.

I’m also working on the rest of the completion, and will probably wander off in the middle of this to do Another Day, which will probably have its own post. I fully expect that to be sheer madness. 

#1 So is it just me or is Mr H writing these reports to channel how extremely stressed he is. Cuz like. Mood. *gestures vaguely at blog* *gestures at this post specifically*

I. Hold up. Skeezy McFuckwad and Joshua did what resulting in which now. Excuse me. EXPLAIN!??! Joshua had a sneaky Game running with Skeezy that directly lead to Hazuki ordering Skeezy to destroy Shinjuku??? Is that what I am reading. Or possibly the order was already in the works, and then there was the Game, which ultimately just pushed that forward?? You can’t just say shit like that and not give details ffffffff.

 #2 Mr H having about as much contempt for Shinjuku rules as I do I feel seen haha. Bogus indeed. I can’t remember if I said it in one of my other posts, of if it was in a group chat, but I made a comment somewhere how this ruleset doesn’t seem to work with the stated purpose of the whole Reaper’s Game system. Sweet validation.

 #3 Not much to say except that if I had read this entire report when I actually got it, I would have been much more alarmed by all of the Replays Rindo has to do after that. I got it partway through week 3 but decided not to read it until I beat the game and then BAM it has this lovely tidbit about potentially being able to destroy the UG and RG.

 #4 So, the business that the fandom refers to as the Long Game is known in universe by the higher-ups and Shibuya’s impurification, because it didn’t get ‘purified’ like Shinjuku (I object to that term but ok).

“The hierarchical freeze presumably stems from opposition to the impurification”

Skeezy wasn’t reprimanded when he arrived in Shibuya “possibly because most Higher Plane denizens still oppose Shibuya’s impurification”

ExcUSE ME. I. WHAT. In one of the secret reports for the first game, Mr H says something about the way things turned out be an ‘ideal parallel world’ according to the Angels. I guess he only meant the ones who didn’t want the city destroyed holy shit. That most of them didn’t want Joshua to change his mind and STILL DON’T is so massively fucked up I can’t. Dear Higher Plane, what the actual, ever loving fuck.

-----------------

#5 One hundred and four Games under Shiba. That’s… so. many. teams. Holy shit. And the teams we knew had seen at LEAST 30 teams go. And the three teams we saw weren’t small. So many people…

Also, “Minamimoto seems to be plotting something” is the funnies thing I’ve read in ages OF COURSE HE IS that’s what he DOES. XD That was some mood whiplash.

#6 I was so hung up on the lack of entry fee for so long you don’t even know. Like. Those were so important in the first one it was baffling to me that Shinjuku rules didn’t have anything similar. And then eventually I just decided that the whole Game wasn’t being run correctly and Shiba was clearly after something other than driving the improvement that’s supposed to be the point.

I would like more explanation on this ‘Rindo’s stagnation makes him perfect for time travel thing’. I kind of understand how his reactions being consistent would be helpful in being able to control where the timeline goes (also I just realized this further confirms that Angels remember the other timelines glad I wasn’t imagining that the Prime days are a blur), but what does he mean about being able to maintain abnormally high levels of imagination? (It might tell me later so don’t say anything lol)

“I can only hope I’m not overthinking things.” Oh, you aren’t. If I’m understanding everything correctly, Skeezy actually had two proxies. And poor Rindo managed to end up being proxy for both sides at the same time which is. A mess.

 #7 Well, finally we know how Coco managed to get her hands on a taboo sigil. Plagiarism. Lmao. That at least makes sense and I can worry less about her being Something Else. I would like a word with whoever didn’t clean that up from Udagawa long enough for her to copy it though. That’s hilarious. Interesting that Mr H thinks it wasn’t a perfect recreation though, that something in him got changed. Once again, please elaborate. Please. *headdesk* What prompted Coco to just. Copy a taboo sigil though. Cuz that seems. Unusual.

------------------

#8 Ok there’s a lot to unpack in this one. Namely, more Shinjuku rules. I would love to know if these are long standing rules or relatively recent. Cuz like. Did Shinjuku’s Game ever run in a way that would drive the kind of improvement that’s supposed to be the overall goal? Or has it always, or at least for a while now, been basically a meat grinder? The players that don’t clear that minimum bar probably just get erased outright, I would think. Actually, I’m confused. If normally, one team would get to leave and one team would be erased, wouldn’t that normally keep the average pretty level, so the Game would basically go on forever? Otherwise what do you do with all the other teams that are between first and last? I’m confused. It can’t be normal for teams to keep asking for more rounds. And what if the winning team says ‘everyone gets to go home’?

“The Conductor has yet to contact the Composer” and “it is possible he is unaware of the Higher Plane’s purification protocol.” I don’t know why, but I get the feeling these are important.

 #9 These secret reports are really driving at the whole ‘Rindo just goes with it’ thing, aren’t they. Like, that was his thing, right? He has trouble making definitive decisions? So his arc culminates in that moment in Udagawa where he tells Hazuki that he’s going to take the risk and go back one more time, where he’s making that decision purely for his own sake. And here Mr H seems to be saying that prodding Rindo down the road to character growth is going to be a lot harder than it was with Neku back in the day. Which makes sense, I think. Confronting someone with the concept that other people have value is a lot less complicated than trying to get them to not only make a firm decision, but to choose something that is purely because it’s what they want and need, not because someone else thinks they should.

It’s a little alarming that this report implies that if the pin wasn’t absorbing the Dissonance caused by the Replays, the UG and RG would already be having a bad time. Yikes. This is the report for day 2 of the second week. We haven’t even gotten into the crazy time travel yet.

Aaaaand #10 is for completing the social network, so I have to actually go do Another Day. I want to read these in order; it is much less confusing that way.

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#10 I really shouldn’t read these late at night with a possible migraine coming on, they’re already confusing enough. The bits that made sense: Uzuki was acting Conductor damn girl. (Did she have to deal with Joshua and was he in Dignified Mode or Being a Shit Mode because that’s possibly an oof.) I had assumed Shiba was Shinjuku’s Conductor and then just kinda took over after they moved in but apparently not? And RIP the actual Conductor, apparently. Weird that so many Reapers made it but the Conductor, who by all rights should have, didn’t.

I am slightly concerned by the fact that there’s standard procedure for obliterating a district. That’s. Alarming.

I don’t think page 4 is continuing the thought on page 3. Fucking. Stop that. Don’t just say a thing and then start talking about something else I would like EXPLANATIONS. UGH. “Almost” he says. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that almost is a big deal, so why don’t you tell me about it.

Four cases where a district got into trouble before a final decision on whether to reset or not was made. And one was the last game. I wonder if that means whatever was wrong that made Joshua want to destroy it, or if the ‘imbalance’ was all the madness that happened after he agreed to one final Game with Kitaniji and the left the UG. Cuz in one of the first set of secret reports, it says that with the Composer absent, the UG is starting to fall apart as the rules are no longer valid, or something like that. I would definitely call that an imbalance.

 #11 All I care about in this report is that Mr H wants to have a digital art bonding party with Kaie and that is so random why are you writing this down you absolute goober. The first page of this report is like ‘everyone is getting depressed’ and then just a wild left turn into dork-town. Lmao what.

-------------

#12 I don’t think Mr H knows at this point (you get this report for W2D5’s Boss Noise) that the Ruinbringers are all Reapers. He’s gonna be mad. He does know what Shoka is up to though. He’s worried. Aw.

 #13 It didn’t occur to me until this report hit me in the face with it, but they’ve set up a fantastic contrast between the two people Rindo knows from online. One is. not great, let’s say, because I did not take the reveal of Motoi’s true self well. The other is Shoka, and she’s a real friend. I now see what you did there. One relationship that’s a farce and one that really, really isn’t.

 #14 Me, out loud, at 1:30 in the damn a.m.: WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP.

If getting Tsugumi out of Mr Mew required an Angel, how in the hell did Shiki manage to…? What. I’m very confused.

Also damn, saving Tsugumi was so important that Shinjuku’s Conductor died for it. Did he know what she could do, the whole visions thing? Or maybe that something was wrong with Shiba and it would take someone like her to potentially stop him in the future?

I still would like to now how the hell Tsugumi got her hands on Mr Mew. Especially since its apparently the ORIGINAL Mr Mew and she seems to have had him during the inversion? What.

 #15 So… Inversions don’t always happen when a region is purified. I’m trying to wrap my brain around what a ‘complete loss of character’ in and area that’s had an Inversion could mean. Like… I think I get it, but my brain won’t make words, let alone sentences. Like when you go into a hotel room, and it doesn’t feel like a home, as opposed to when you go to a friend or family’s house, and it does? Kinda like that but it’s the whole district that’s just… blank? That’s kinda creepy.

If there are so many who think a ‘regular purification’ isn’t enough, the a) what does that even look like, b) is that what Joshua was going to do to Shibuya and c) is there an intermediate step between ‘normal’ and Inversion? I have been staring at this report for literally 15 minutes now.

 #16 “I wonder how [Shiba] will feel about all this after he is allowed to return to his former self.” Yuuuuuup. I still Do Not Like him, but dude was borderline mind controlled so like. Yeah. And I did get to kill him once, so. As long as he minds his business and isn’t a total dick from here on, whatever. It all just sucks.

*facepalm* Well at least we got to being suspicious of Replay eventually. Why did it take you this long Mr H. Though I do wonder what Rindo would have been able to do without the interference. He had to have some kind of latent skill for the pin to react to him, right? I’m now going in circles mentally trying to puzzle out if Replay is like, a leveled up version of whatever Rindo would have naturally had, and regardless, where exactly it came from. Because the only time I can think of when anyone had a chance to mess with the pin was when he didn’t catch it in the prologue. And I’m pretty sure it was Joshua who picked it up. Aaagh I’m giving myself a headache.

I find it hard to believe skeezy would just yeet a random time travel pin out into the world. That seems both dumb as fuck and inefficient.

 #17 “Some of them who know what I am occasionally try to contact me.” Lol so Kariya DOES know who Mr H is, I take it. Alright.

I’m having some kind of emotion that Wildkat still exists in a way for the Reapers, and that some of them still go there.

I just imagined Uzuki texting him like ‘plz make the Composer fucking do something kthx’ and I’ve got the giggles now oh dear

 #18 HA! I was right! Minamimoto WASN’T in control when he attacked us! ‘Distortions within himself’ though, that’s concerning. Does that have to do with how he’s come back from the dead twice now? And how Coco’s copy of the sigil was apparently imperfect?

 #19 I was about to say ‘who would target him for his abilities?’ and then my brain turned back on because duh. Shiba and them were looking hard for Neku, to the point that they flooded the RG with Player Pins in the hopes that he would pick one up and get sucked into the Game. A thing that occurred to me last night at 3:30 in the morning because I am a disaster: Mr H says that Minamimoto ‘seems different’. Neku says much the same thing after he comes back. So… Neku’s ability to Scan all the way down to someone’s Soul is potentially close to as sensitive as Mr H’s long distance ability. Which is a little insane. On top of the fact that he can use basically every psych imaginable no problem, survived a pact with a Composer for a full week, while said Composer was using crazy light beams which probably should have melted Neku from the feedback, and then almost singlehandedly defeated the Conductor while somehow inventing four-way fusion attacks. Kid is mad powerful. And he’s just a human. Like, the OG secret reports say that people always become dramatically stronger when they become Reapers. Reaper!Neku would be unstoppable.

“This would be much simpler if I could sit down and talk with him.” Okay, I laughed out loud. Like, loudly.

So… Shinjuku’s Composer… basically had his Conductor assassinated by skeezy. And because skeezy was messing with Shiba’s head, he could prompt Shiba to take the Reapers to Shibuya afterwards, to start doing it there too? Hazuki ordered Shinjuku’s purification so… Oh dear. I might have a few bones to pick with him.

 OH NO. OOOOOH. OH NOOOO. SHINJUKU’S CONDUCTOR. HE WAS TSUGUMI’S BROTHER OH MY GOD. That is fucking tragic what the fuck. What the FUCK. Okay several things make sense now but OH MY GOD FUCKING HELL I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. Shiki fixing Mr Mew allowed Tsugumi to free herself because her brother had already done part of the work, I take it? Along with us getting the Noise out of there? No wonder the Conductor stayed, he had to go get his sister… Shit, man.

 …… Did Coco steal Mr Mew and take him to Shinjuku?????

----------------------------

#21 isn’t very interesting, just a rehash of stuff we already knew.

#22 Okay Haz IS Shinjuku’s Composer. What. Why? I’m. So confused. Why would he intercede on our behalf, and why NOW? He was happy to throw his own city away, but stepped in to stop skeezy in Shibuya? And then tried to put it back together, and when Rindo was miserable he came to try to understand why. And then cajoled Rindo into having a breakthrough in his Character Development to boot.

Mr H says he has an idea why Haz did all this. And then doesn’t fucking say it because OF COURSE. *headdesk* That gets really old really fast, game.

I’m now running through The Last Day’’ to get the final two reports and this entire section with Haz is somehow even more confusing with context. God damn it Nomura.

 #23 Even after he said we were on our on this time, he forced the Soul Pulvis to reform as Pheonix Cantus to make it easier for us to fight? Bro. What. Are all Composers just… walking contradictions? Aiya.

Shoutout to emotional support Joshua at the end there lol. I remember half-hysterically thinking ‘what are you just here for moral support?’ but ok. And I mean, it did work, Neku did manage to do the thing, so. *sigh* Speaking of, it is ABSOLUTELY INSANE that Neku manage to sync with the entire city without his brain melting. Remember at the beginning of the first game when he scans for the first time and has a massive sensory overload? Look at my boy, all grown up.

 #24 Holy shit world building on how exactly people come back to life without everyone freaking out. I never thought I would see the day.

I still have so many questions but that was always going to be the case. The first game had so many things it left open as well. Agh. Time to start wearing new holes in my brain overthinking things.

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Touchy

Commission prompt: Jackothy (though if you want to add Rhys I won’t complain 👀): After having his face scarred, Jack realizes the only way he can see and feel his own face again is if he goes to see Tim. The other doppelgängers use tech which isn’t the same, who knows what they look like underneath? And Tim is... oddly ok with that (not at first tho; Jack was annoying. Still is but it’s oddly charming now) He spent his whole life being overlooked, and Jack focused solely on him is intense... basically Timtam gets a little too heated when Jack looks at and touches his face. Tim thirsts.

This is the first part of the commission :D Subsequent parts on my ao3 here. My masterlist archive of bullshit i write can be found linked at the top of the blog or here.

--

Handsome Jack was many things.

A hero, in short, opener of vaults and defeater of monsters, and CEO of the most powerful company in the galaxy.

And the price of that power had been his face.

Sure, Jack tried to buy into his own propaganda as much as he expected his employees to, but he couldn’t really lie to himself, even if he desperately wanted to. The ironic fact that he’d fashioned himself a mask of his own face wasn’t lost on him, but denial was a powerful thing.

He was scarred, disfigured with an injury which refused any kind of correction be it medical, scientific, or bordering on alien technology. The mask had been the logical next-step to try to regain some semblance of what he’d lost, and for a time, the power and re-branding that came with seizing an empire for his own was a good distraction.

He’d tried. Oh how he’d tried.

Every day that he looked in the mirror, mask or no, it bothered him just a little bit more until he couldn’t just ignore it. The mask began to overwrite his memories of his true features, making him panic in need of removal, only to have his ruined, panicked face stare back at him from the bathroom mirror.

The mask functioned as his face, but it just wasn’t. And without it, he still didn’t look like himself; not as he truly remembered. The damage his face had sustained did more than just wound his vanity. The deep fissure of old scar tissue bothered him sometimes if he stubbornly left the mask on for too long, and without that technologically-superior second-skin, he was almost totally blind in his left eye. Forgetting his face made him fear he was forgetting himself, and Handsome Jack the CEO of Hyperion wasn’t afraid of anything.

The logical next-step to quell the fear of ignominy was quite clear.

“Rhysie?” Jack spoke up, startling his personal assistant from whatever he’d been doing at his desk as he looked at the younger man. “Call up Timothy for me, would ya kitten? It’s about time for a quality-check. Make sure he’s still on-brand. And by on-brand, I mean me. Heh, get it? Because he’s me; Mr. Hyperion.”

Rhys gave Jack a depreciating moue. “If you’re going to say something about him being on you, or you being on me, or vice-versa, don’t bother. You’ve made that joke before,” Rhys snarked back, the snort Jack gave making the PA grin despite himself. “Get some new material, first.”

“Look at you, thinkin’ you’ve got me figured out,” Jack teased. “What color underwear am I wearing today, cupcake?”

“I’m surprised you even know about underwear, Jack.”

Two for two. It made the CEO genuinely grin.

Rhys was a good little assistant. Even if his creepy fanboy-gazes had eventually stopped after a few months of working for him, he still blushed when Jack brazenly flirted with him, though the older man never took it too far. Rhys was efficient, and despite Jack’s teasing, he did know the older man better than any past secretary or other idiot that couldn’t carry out Jack’s iron will the way he wanted.

Jack had gone through… a lot of personal assistants. The ones that had nervous breakdowns were one thing. The incompetant ones he certainly didn’t miss, but a couple had at least been amusing until Jack had had to airlock them.

And then came Rhys. The younger man wasn’t just good at his job, but he was one of a very few people to act normal around the older man despite his obvious hero-worship; to tease him back and roll his eyes at Jack’s too-sweet coffee-orders, and laugh at his dirty jokes, or come right back with ones to challenge them.

Jack knew it said a lot about him that he enjoyed an (ex)-creepy fanboy as the one to handle the personal details of his day, but he also felt just a little bolstered by the fact that Rhys still flushed pink sometimes over some of his more creative innuendos, despite the back-talk and rolled eyes. It reminded him that even after years of wearing the mask-- of no one seeing his true face- that he could still make a pretty, leggy PA blush. Despite the fact his face wasn’t exactly a face.

He was insecure. He was vain.

He knew he was vain, but the choice to rebrand himself after the branding-incident was wrought from insecurity above anything else, and he lied to himself about that as well. He changed his name to reflect what he wanted to believe: Handsome Jack. That he came into this world good-looking-- and so help him god- he wouldn’t let current-circumstances let anyone forget that fact.

Reminding himself, however, was where Tim came in.

“Tim is still on Elpis finishing that… thing,” Rhys informed with a slight, distasteful raise of his pouty lips. “When did you want me to set it up?”

“That thing,” Jack began, ignoring Rhys’ question to grin a little, “is going to make me even more stinkin’ rich than I already am, kiddo.” Rhys gave him a further-displeased look. “Oh come on, you liked the idea of eternal youth.”

“Spreading some Shuggurath-derived wrinkle cream on your face isn’t the same thing as eternal youth, Jack.”

The CEO didn’t miss a beat, and didn’t allow himself to dwell on the subtext Rhys didn’t even know he was on to. “It won’t just be the face, kitten. My scientists are gonna make it work on everything.” The regenerative-properties the creatures had were promising, according to the eggheads in R&D. Jack shot him a smirk. “Balls, too.”

“Gross.”

“What, you some too-good-for-nice-smooth-balls type?” Jack gave an exaggerated look over his desk. “You?”

Rhys put his face in his flesh hand. “I’m more disturbed by the fact you’ve got Tim out there milking them, Jack.”

“I was just being nice saying that.” Jack’s grin grew. “He’s not milking them for the compound so much as--”

“Aaaaand file that under things I definitely do not need to know about before lunch,” Rhys quickly interrupted, ignoring the older man’s grin and murmuring about ‘protein’ strands and regenerative ‘slimes’. “When do you want me to have him come up once it’s done?”

Jack knew exactly when he wanted Tim here: after-hours in private once Rhys had already left for the day.

He needed this. He needed it badly and couldn’t hold off any longer.

It had been over a month since Jack’s last ‘quality check’, and while Tim submitted to them without issue, too many not-between-missions-checks might raise the double’s suspicions as to what Jack was really doing. Looking at photos of the double were one thing (and good to help him hold out against the fear of losing himself in his mind’s eye), but it wasn’t the same as touching the planes of your ‘own’ face.

Good thing Tim was on a relatively-safe job collecting samples from the otherwise-dangerous creatures; Jack would be able to look and feel to his heart’s content under the guise of genuine quality-control when he knew there wasn’t a threat at all.

“That job’s almost finished though, right?” Jack asked conversationally. “Day after tomorrow? Did Timtams send you an update?”

Rhys’ lips pulled thin. “Yes. And he sent pictures, too.” Pictures Rhys honestly didn’t need to see, though Tim’s comments on each one were funny at least. The one the annoyed-double had sent of himself covered in… Well, Rhys wasn’t sure Shugguraths had entrails, but the caption of ‘Hyperion Beauty Cream coming to a store near you!’ made the image amusing at least.

It was still a gross assignment though.

Jack grinned at Rhys’ sour look. “Heh, neat. Send those to my comm, wouldja sugarplum?”

“If you have nightmares, it’s not my fault,” Rhys warned as he did as Jack asked. “There. Sent. Ew.”

“You could always send me some nicer pictures to give me sweet dreams, Rhysie,” Jack purred, teasing a bit even as his heart rate spiked at his PA’s words. Rhys just rolled his eyes with a little blush and a muttered “buy me dinner first” which made Jack relax a bit through a smirk.

There was no way Rhys could know what was going on in Jack’s head-- his words were coincidence was all, and Jack knew he was getting paranoid again- but the promise of his double’s return from Elpis was a relief that kept his worries carefully contained.

No one knew what was going on in his head. No one knew that Handsome Jack-- most powerful man in the whole goddamn galaxy who put the word ‘handsome’ into his own name- suffered from poor self-image. And no one would, as far as Jack could help it.

Hell, no one would believe that at any rate, either, which Jack was immensely grateful to his PR team about.

He was just tired. Stressed. Seeing Tim would help matters. Feeling him would help a lot more.

The taunting nightmares were keeping him from restful sleep; looking into a dream-mirror to pull off his mask only for nothing to be beneath it but a horrifying blankness, and in the dream (and sometimes still once awake) Jack really couldn’t recall what his face had once looked like. Putting his actual hands on his double would soothe his psyche a great deal, the tactile-sensation further embedding the shape and feel and perfection of Tim’s own face back into Jack’s subconscious.

Rhys set up the meeting, and now all Jack had to do was wait.

--

It hadn’t been easy to not watch the clock, or to keep his foot from tapping anxiously under his desk days later, but once Rhys had packed up-- asking multiple times if Jack would like him to stay- the CEO was pacing the space behind his big desk waiting for Tim’s return.

Elpis loomed outside the large window, it’s pink glimmer lending an ethereal-quality to Jack’s office as Rhys got the main-lights as he’d left. Only the light on Jack’s desk remained on, the rest of the office bathed in Elpis’ glow. To think he’d once wanted to crack the proto-planet like egg, only for it to be key to his recovery.

The Shuggurath research was extremely promising. That the creatures could generate other creatures-- not that Rathyds were particularly useful themselves; moon-Rakks, Jack called them- lead down some very interesting paths.

Rathyds shared a few qualities with the Shuggaraths that spawned them, but genetically they were different creatures. Shuggaraths bred just like anything else to create more Shuggaraths, but the fact they were capable of creating a second, unique animal held implications which got Jack very excited indeed.

The skin that was scarred by Eridian-technology refused any attempts to change it, while minor nicks and cuts that Jack got while shaving around the thing healed back up just fine. By his own observations (and tests several techs did before he airlocked them for what they saw) his normal skin was fine and unaffected by the depth of the brand, while the scar itself was… different.

Genetically different, but still a part of him.

Jack believed that the weird moon-dwelling animals were key to healing his face. Whatever protein or enzyme or slimey bits that they contained might be able to rewrite the damaged cells and reverse the scarring, or at the very least, minimize it to not need the mask anymore. The ugly, bulbous creatures created much more elegantly-designed animals somehow, and if that was possible, then maybe it could be applied to himself as well.

He could be normal again. Be handsome again, without the necessary moniker.

Until that happened though, Jack had Tim to get by, and he was antsy as ever to see the younger man.

“Did you forget to pay the power bill?”

Jack spun around on his heel, a grin on his face even though he’d been taken by surprise from hopeful, antsy thoughts. “Timmy! There’s my favorite double! Flip ‘em back on, wouldja kiddo?”

Tim rolled his eyes, but he had a smile on his face as he did just that, and crossed the office towards Jack’s desk. His mission had gone well, and he’d brought back more than enough samples to last quite some time. The confidence he felt over it was all over his face; especially from the lack of injury he’d come back with this time. “I think you’re gonna be impressed.”

“That so?” Jack said with a raise of his brow, impatience over wanting to get his hands on the other man’s face kept carefully tramped down. “How’s that gorgeous face, kiddo?”

“I’m more worried about my jacket,” Tim responded with a sour look. There had been… a lot of slime. “Did Rhys show you the pictures?”

“Not the ones I wanted to see,” Jack said with an implicit smirk, forcing himself to walk slowly towards the double as Tim climbed the steps to the dais Jack’s desk was on. His eagerness wasn’t something he wanted to showcase.

“Of Rhys, or of me?” Tim joked right back, grinning at Jack’s surprised bark of laughter.

“Cute, Timtam. Real cute.” Tim smirked unapologetically, and Jack knew well the mischievous look on the double’s face. So Tim was in a playful mood, then. The mission must’ve gone very well indeed. That was beyond excellent. “You feel free to send me whatever pics you feel like, handsome. I’m a big fan of close-ups.” The smile on Jack’s face was genuine, even if he was dying to get his hands on the body double. “Remind me to give you a raise, too.”

“Add that to the extra vacation days you also said you’d give me.”

Jack grinned as they stood before one-another. Tim was giving him a doubtful, accusing tilt of the head, and Jack’s fingers itched so badly to rove over Tim’s face that he didn’t even bother teasing the younger man. “I did say that, didn’t I?” He raised his hands to Tim’s face, the double patiently waiting for Jack to remove the mask himself. It was something the older man insisted upon-- part of the nightmare he badly needed to address- to remove the mask and find no damage beneath. “Echo Rhysie about it. Now let’s see that gorgeous face.”

Jack tried to keep his fingers steady as he reached for the double’s face, and Tim waited far more eagerly than he wanted to appear.

Tim didn’t necessarily care for these ‘brand-checks’ at first. Jack already demanded most of his time, and what little free time he did have, he didn’t want to waste on his boss making sure he still “looked right”.

Pfft, as if Tim wasn’t a professional.

Tim wasn’t exactly vain himself, but he did take pride in his acting skills, and no one was a better Jack than him. That was just a fact. Because there were no other Jacks like him. None who’d undergone extensive plastic surgery, modulator-implants, and actually fought side-by-side with the CEO before he was the CEO. Tim might not have been much pre-surgery, but Jack had seen his potential, and Tim had risen to all expectations. And he was proud of that.

None of the other doubles knew Jack the way Tim did, either, not to mention actually looked like him. The others used tech which was fully reversible. What he did was an art, regardless of his personal feelings on the matter.

So needing to be checked if he was ‘on-brand’ was insulting to his professionalism at first, and annoying at best, even if it was always the same. Jack’s scrutiny had made him uncomfortable, as if Tim could lose everything he’d managed to gain after being overlooked for so long in his life. And Tim hadn’t liked it.

He liked it now.

Jack had nice hands. He’d know. It wasn’t an awful thing to be so casually handled by him, and regardless of how long he’d known Jack now, the intense focus of such a powerful man always got his heart beating just a bit faster.

Jack’s hands were expert in the removal of Tim’s own mask, the CEO undoing the clasps before setting the material down on his desk. His attention came back to Tim, and at that moment the double watched him carefully for the change that would occur in the older man during the reveal.

Jack was… different during these checks, but not necessarily in a bad way.

He always took a moment after the mask was fully removed-- eyes darting about Tim’s face as if to check that everything was still there- before a sort of almost relief settled into the older man’s eyes. And then came Tim’s favorite part: the quirk of Jack’s lips as the man cupped both his cheeks in his large, warm hands, and firmly brushed his thumbs over Tim’s cheeks.

Tim used to blush heavily when Jack had first started demanding these checks. The intensity of the CEO’s focus had made poor Tim go entirely red in the face, and he had trouble meeting Jack’s eyes the first few times. Jack’s hands were always surprisingly gentle if not firm on him, the inspection a lot more like a full face massage than anything else. The touches and traces of fingers and thumbs over the bridge of his nose, under his left eye, the bottom of his cheeks, all made Tim want.

They hadn’t at first, though. Tim was observant, and the simple fact alone that Jack wanted to inspect under the mask-- where no one else ever saw anyways so what would it matter if he had some blemish or something?- made him think.

Tim wondered sometimes if Jack ever forgot that he knew what the CEO really looked like under the mask, or if he thought Tim might be repelled by it, and thus hid what Tim suspected were the true reasons for checking. The double had his own suspicions on what Jack was really doing.

He’d been there when Jack had been branded. It made an impression on him for multiple reasons: the way Jack handled the pain; the visceral reaction to seeing-- essentially- himself be branded, skin ruined and blistered. The way Jack was still somehow strong after the fact and overcame it all. Yeah, Tim had changed his entire being into someone else, but it had been more or less voluntary, and wholly expected. What Jack went through…

Well.

Tim had been there for it and he still couldn’t imagine going through that himself. Not without totally breaking. Him and Jack maybe butted heads sometimes but he admired the hell out of the older man, and even a bit more than that.

It was part of the reason he submitted to these examinations. There was something pitiful and desperate and utterly human in the way Jack’s thumbs sometimes slid up his cheekbones, palms sliding down to turn his chin this way and that between his big hands. Jack might’ve poked fun about telling him not to break Jack’s investment in ‘his’ face, but there was something a little too real behind his concern. It made Tim ache for the Jack he knew right before the man was betrayed. He knew what the scarring looked like, but such superficial things, ironically, didn’t matter to the double.

Tim tilted his head as Jack’s thumb slid down the side of his neck, hoping the older man wouldn’t register the hard thump of his heart, and then Jack breathed out in clear relief before letting Tim go. He tried to hide his disappointment that it was over already.

Tim’s voice wasn’t as confident as he would’ve preferred, but he kept the excited tremor from it, at least. “Everything still in one piece?” he joked as Jack looked at him a few moments more.

The CEO raised a brow, cocky-smile back in place. “Why, got something more interesting to show me, Timtam?” He waggled his brows in what was clear tease as Tim rolled his eyes.

“I only got a little electrocuted, and nowhere interesting,” the double replied.

Jack didn’t miss the slight pinkness to Tim’s actual cheeks (the sight was going to be in his dreams tonight for its rareness, that much he was certain) but the older man didn’t comment on it. “Interesting for you, or interesting for me?” He gave the double a wink.

Tim felt his heart thump hard in his chest, deciding to play a little with the older man in lieu of getting to truly indulge; Jack flirted with everyone. It didn’t mean it was real, or that he meant it. Tim still liked it, though. “I’m not stripping to let you find out. It’s cold in here.”

Jack snorted and retrieved the mask from his desk. “You can always send me pictures. Don’t forget about that!” Jack handed the mask back to Tim. He never liked putting the mask back on the double himself, and Tim never questioned it. It was something he preferred to watch Tim do; something his subconscious would have to reconcile as an active choice to cover his unharmed face.

“There would have to be pictures for me to even send,” Tim muttered as he put things back in place.

“I like your thinking, pumpkin! Let me know if you need any inspiration.”

Tim snorted but left on his way as Jack shooed him out.

The CEO collapsed into his chair once the office was again left in Elpis’ pink glow. He felt more relaxed than he had all month, and with the relief of Tim’s visit finally washed over him, he knew he was going to get a very good night’s sleep indeed.

He wasn’t even mad that he didn’t have any dirty dreams that night, instead happy to sleep like the dead.

He’d need to take advantage of all the rest he could get now, before the shame of his true face caught back up to him again.

--

Chapter 2 will be found at my ao3 :)

kofi | ao3 | commission ‘info’

[imnoexpertblog]

Here's some stuff to do and listen to.

7/20/18

Are you ready to receive some suggestions to entertain your fine selves? ‘Cause I’m ready to give it.

For those who are local: My dad and brother run NYFO together for Green Bay. What’s NYFO? WELL. “NYFO 7on7 Football is the next generation of player development, no matter your skill set. NYFO is the NATIONAL GOVERNING BODY for 7on7 & Non-contact Football. Our leagues, camps, and training exist to ultimately transition better, safer, and more fundamentally sound knowledgeable players. NYFO is committed to helping every player in our program improve no matter their skill level. By doing so we will ultimately enhance the sport of football, from youth organizations through the NFL. NYFO is ‘Non-Contact’ For parents, ‘non-contact’ can be translated into ‘one-hand touch.’ Without the distraction of full-contact, players can focus on fundamentals. With so much negative media attention given to concussions and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), 7on7 offers parents a safer alternative for kids wanting to play football.” Quick additional info: They offer programs for age groups 8U, 10U, 13U, 15U, and 18U. Go to their website if you’re interested in signing your kids up! Okay but anyway, if you need something to do this Friday you should go to a Bullfrogs baseball game! Bullfrogs “Stars Of Tomorrow” fundraiser family & friend tickets are $18 and include your ticket (duh), a Bullfrogs hat, a hot dog, AND a soda! A damn steal if you ask me. It helps out NYFO and you’ll have something fun to do! All registered players from NYFO get in free with and a portion of the proceeds from family/friends tickets sales going to the NYFO by simply using code “NYFO7on7” at the point of purchase. Go to greenbaybullfrogs.com, click Buy Tickets Now in the top right corner, and enter the promo code (NYFO7on7). Gates open at 6:05pm and the game is at 7:05pm!  See you at the diamond on July 20th! Give them a follow on Instagram! @greenbay.nyfo

I never really blog about music for how passionate I am about it. I have mentioned before that I sing, too. I’d love music even if I couldn’t sing though. Anyway, everyone loves finding new music, right? I’m gonna tell you my most listened to artists and songs on my Spotify. First, I’ll tell you how I found this data. I found this question forum on this link: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-see-my-most-played-artists-songs-in-Spotify. You’ll see in the answer that there’s Spotify.Me or there’s ManageMyMusic to see your most listened to stuff. Spotify.Me is intricate and gives you information like your favorites, streaming habits, and listening insights. Apparently, what I listen to the most is considered to be a bunch of different types of “pop.” I don’t know if I agree with that. They also tell me that “I know what I want” because 84% of my favorite artists are within my most-listened to genre. That I can agree with. It says I’m high energy lately in my streaming choices, but I don’t see it. I have been choosing really chill music, in my opinion. The other link in that question/answer forum is called ManageMyMusic and it gives you a ton of lists; Top artists and tracks for the “Short Term (4 weeks),” the “Medium Term (6 months),” and for the “Long Term (Years).” I’ll give you my top ten for each category, though I know there will be overlapping. I obviously love everything I am about to include so please give this stuff a listen. You’re about to get an intimate peek at my soul.

Top artists -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jon Bellion

Drake

Milky Chance

Hozier

Andrew Belle

Bazzi

Aaron Carter

Roy Woods

dvsn

Troy Sivan

I didn’t realize that I listened to that much Jon Bellion lately. I mean, he is fantastic. I just didn’t realize I listened to so much of him in the last month.

Top artists -- Medium Term (6 months)

Drake

Blackbear

Tory Lanez

Marc E. Bassy

Jon Bellion

Bazzi

Post Malone

Hozier

Aaron Carter

Sam Smith

I can say for DAMN SURE that Baby has heavily influenced who I listened to these past 6 months. Drake has always been my man but I never listened to Blackbear, Tory Lanez, or Marc E. Bassy before I met him.

Top artists -- Long Term (years)

Drake

Sam Smith

Troye Sivan

Andrew Belle

Justin Bieber

Jon Bellion

The Weeknd

Jessie Ware

Hozier

Tove Lo

None of that even remotely surprises me.

Top tracks -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jessie Ware, You & I (Forever)

Hozier, Jackie and Wilson

Sabrina Claudio, Orion's Belt

Jon Bellion, Overwhelming

Jon Bellion, 2 Rocking Chairs

Vance Joy, Mess Is Mine

The 1975, Somebody Else

Jon Bellion, The Good In Me

JAHKOY, Still In Love

Young the Giant, Cough Syrup

This is all very "me" lately.

Top tracks -- Medium Term (6 months)

Alina Baraz, Show Me

6LACK, Learn Ya

Tory Lanez, I Sip

Blackbear, moodz (feat. 24hrs)

Marc E. Bassy, 4am

Tory Lanez, Skrt Skrt

Ansel Elgort, Supernova

Bazzi, Mine

Post Malone, Psycho (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

R I T U A L, Better By Now

This list is definitely Baby-approved.

Top tracks -- Long Term (years)

Justin Bieber, The Feeling

Troye Sivan, WILD

ZAYN, PILLOWTALK

Snakehips, All My Friends

Tatiana Manaois, Helplessly

Bryson Tiller, Don't

Chris Stapleton, Tennessee Whiskey

Sam Smith, Not In That Way

Hozier, Work Song

A R I Z O N A, Let Me Touch Your Fire

Honestly, the first 5 tracks do surprise me a little, but that was back when I had my music on constantly when I was single and home alone quite often. I remember keeping those on repeat for hours at times, so I’m not sure how accurate that actually is only because of that fact. This was all super cool to see, though. Some of it was expected, some unexpected. Either way, I hope I gave you some new stuff to listen to! And you should check out for own profiles. Nice opportunity to learn a little about yourself.

This past weekend, it was pretty warm out. Baby and I wanted to get Nugget a sprinkler so I took the little one with me to the store aaaaand they were sold out. Due to all the warmth. So I bought Nugget some water guns instead. We got 2 smaller ones and 2 larger ones for THIRTEEN DOLLARS, TOTAL. YEAH. This s’mom was shocked by that price, that’s for sure. We played and sprayed when we got home. Baby and Nugget had some fun together. The first thing Nugget did when we filled his gun though was spray me right in the (get ready) vagina. Yes. Then he yells, “I’M SPRAYING YOU IN THE PARTS.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, let’s not spray anyone’s parts and also let’s talk about anyone’s parts. It’s not polite and those are private” LOL. He’s never said anything to me about private parts or anything so that was new to me. He walks into my room when I’m changing a fair amount of the time and I know for a fact he’s seen more than I meant him to, but he has never asked questions, pointed anything out, etc. I think it’s important to set an example for your children in the sense to be comfortable with their bodies and such. This might be a whole new chapter with Nugget! We will see. Enough about my “parts” and back to the water guns. Baby said that on one of the weeks that we don’t have Nugget, that he wants to do a water gun race with me. I got 2 free beach balls from Sprint when I got a new phone last week (among a ton of other free shit, which I'll tell y'all about soon) and Baby said we should see whoever can get the beach ball across our backyard the fastest by spraying them with the water guns. I honestly think that sounds more fun than any idea I've ever had LOL. It reminds me of when I almost bought us both Nerf guns. So, if things are little mundane (or even if they’re not) maybe you and your love should find your inner children together! Get water-balloons and have a water-balloon fight, chalk up your driveway, set up obstacle courses, have a scavenger hunt! You can make it interesting by making fun deals. Whoever loses has to make dinner, for example. I think we will try all of these ideas eventually.

Speaking of shopping with Nugget, I am in the process of teaching him about not asking for toys every time we go. Baby went through a break up after a 3 year relationship before we was with me. He told me that he felt awful that Nugget no longer had two people raising him and Baby made up for that by buying Nugget toys every time they went to the store. I could tell there was a reason why Nugget would ask like clockwork what toy he would get every time we went shopping. I have been working on breaking Nugget of that expectation, as well as working on having him appreciate the things he has at home. I explain to him Daddy and I only have a certain amount of dollars and that its usually only enough to buy what we needed from the store in the first place. He actually understands this concept very well. He always asks why we are going to the store, so I always have the opportunity to tell him what we need to buy. When we went to buy the sprinkler he asked me, "Can we get a toy from here?" and I replied with, "Buddy, remember what we came here for?" He answered correctly about buying a sprinkler. I said in a very positive tone, "Yep and I'm pretty sure we only have enough dollars for a sprinkler. And you also have a bunch of toys at home that you love to play with." We walked by a few things that piqued his interest. As we walked by some bubble-guns, he goes, "Oooh, those look fun. But we only have dollars to get the sprinkler." I was so proud of him for making this connection and also proud of myself for explaining it to him so that he really does understand this. I was raised by people who didn't explain things. It was always a "because I said so" type of world and I learned to accept it. I won't put Nugget in that world, though. I want him to recognize reasoning and be able to grasp why things are the way they are. He is incredibly intelligent and capable of knowing this information. I also want him to trust me and be honest with me as we grow together, so the first step is me trusting him and being honest with him first. Just wanted to share my super proud s'mom moment of the week. I'll be back tomorrow with new recipes for you!

[rwbyremnants]

THIS CHAPTER: Fingering, facials, fellatio. Also body image issues.

=Chapter 12

"Trip’s been going great, sis. We stopped off for waffles last night at about… one in the morning? I was dead by the time we got back."

In the clogged traffic of the city, Yang was taking that opportunity to catch up with her dad and Ruby again. Though with her father, it was the more general “I’m doing fine, the job is weird” type of conversation; coming out to him had been a pretty rocky event, and even though he was accepting now it did put a little distance between them. She told her sister about meeting with Blake in Chicago, how they were now best of friends and remaining in contact; Ruby was glad to hear that, as she had liked Blake a lot the few times they met.

Obviously, she left out a few details for Weiss's benefit, such as the fact they were now an item. Not that she was afraid of what her sister would say about her, but more about what would possibly end up on her blog later.

As her boss emerged from the bedroom after finishing her makeup and hair for the day, Yang adjusted her position and the phone's angle so the camera had them both in clear shot. "Aaaaand here she is! The motorcyclist herself."

Ruby's digital face lit up at the sight of her idol. "OH! Hi, Weiss! Remember me?!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly, of course I remember! How are you, Ruby?" The inflection on her name was clearly meant to prove to the young student that she hadn't somehow forgotten her existence in the past couple of weeks. Yang laughed at the two of them, quickly pulling a chair outward to let Weiss possibly sit next to her as well, should she desire.

"She can ride pretty well. Only ran a few red lights and killed three people."

"She- WHAT?!" Ruby burst out, leaning closer to her camera. Apparently, she was on a laptop instead of a phone, if the static position of the shot was any indication. "NO WAY, Weiss would never hurt anyone or anything!"

"Yang, don't be mean to your sister," Weiss sighed, nudging her with her elbow as she sat down.

"Assault! Assault and battery!" Yang right away called out. Once they were sat side by side she did her best to copy Ruby's tactic, resting the phone on the table in her hand. "You home for Easter, Rubes? You seem more chill than usual."

"Well, I am… in A home for Easter," she told her evasively, stifling a little giggle.

"In… A home?" The confusion was pretty clear on Yang's face from the other end.

That seemed to be the planned signal for another party to pop into view – slightly taller ginger-haired girl with curly yet well managed hair, a pink bow somewhat visible on the back of her head. She threw her arms around Ruby, grinning. "Salutations!"

"Penny?" The blonde was taken back, eyes fully widening as the cogs were beginning to turn in her head. "Shouldn't she be… Doesn't she live in New Yo- Ruby, are you in New York?!"

"Yup!" The girl laughed, returning Penny's embrace with a grin. "Well, it's Spring Break, right? Time to cut loose!" Then she ducked her head. "Not that I'm very good at cutting loose - in fact, I don't normally cut anything, I'm very careful with scissors and knives…"

"Oh, you're really in New York?" Weiss asked with a slight smile. "That's so funny, so are we! Or… did you come here because you knew it was my next stop?"

Waving a hand with a snort, Ruby said, "No, no. Well… okay, it influenced my decision, but I swear I wanted to come meet Penny's parents anyway!"

"Holy fuckin' shit, I can't believe you're actually in New York City! I don't have to wait till summer break to see you again!" Yang's grin more or less went off her face. Yet again a surprise visit to her sister, more than once in the same tour. And she had expected her job would make it harder to see her.

Penny was laughing nervously as she finally released her guest. "Speaking of which, p-please keep the swearing down a bit? Father doesn't like swearing very much and both of them are rather strict."

"Something we have in common," Weiss said with a sigh as she turned her gaze slightly to Ruby's freckled companion. "It's nice to meet you, Penny."

"Wonderful to meet you, too, Weiss! I'm afraid I hadn't really heard of you before Ruby introduced me to your music, but it's truly an honour!"

"Oh, stop," Weiss said with practiced celebrity modesty. "I'm just a person. You and Ruby seem close; I'm glad you found a roommate who can be a friend, too."

Glancing over at Penny, Ruby grinned and said, "Me, too! Oh man, she's like a BFF and we've only known each other for a few months, you know?! It's INCREDIBLE!"

"Y-Yes! A B-F-F! Absolutely!" Penny was growing increasingly more and more flustered, that much was obvious by the redness appearing on her freckled face.

Yang, taking it simply as shyness from being complimented so much, just nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I knew you guys were close, but not an entire Spring Break together close! Speaking of which, did you guys wanna grab lunch when we're in the city, maybe?"

"Hey, yeah! We GOTTA!" Ruby turned her silver eyes nervously back in Weiss's direction. "Um… I mean, if that's okay! You're super busy, I know you're busy, so you don't have to!"

"We'd love to," Weiss laughed. "In fact, I have some errands to run tomorrow before the concert, but why don't you meet up with your sister for lunch then? Then we can all reconvene together afterward."

"You… sure?" Yang questioned, looking down to Weiss. She hadn't left Weiss completely on her own since the attack on that very first night – not for a long period of time, at least. In truth, she was far too worried to, especially now. Anything could happen.

"I'll wear a big hat," Weiss assured Yang, having caught the dubious look on her face. "And, if it will make you feel better, we can have one of the other security guards accompany me in the taxi."

"Definitely. And uh, text me? Just to keep me in the loop."

The ginger haired girl was clapping her hands in excitement. "Oh, it's so nice to see you taking your job so seriously, Yang! Ruby had always said you were caring of everyone and I've been so dearly looking forward to meeting you!" It seemed the obviously worried look on Yang's face completely flew right by her. That or she was thinking too far ahead. "Depending on your funds, there's all kinds of places for dinner! I can recommend the correct Ray’s Pizza, according to my Dad, and there’s Hard Rock Café, and pricier establishments if you want to have a nice evening out…"

"Hard Rock Café sounds like your sort of place," Weiss told Yang with a smirk.

"GREAT!" Ruby burst out, bouncing up and down in her chair. "Then let's do it, okay guys?! Let's make it happen!"

"Yeah, definitely! And… then we'll do something after as the four of us, right? Since Penny hasn’t met you yet." It was more the worry of leaving Weiss alone that compelled her bodyguard to ask. At least if they made plans for after, there was a definite time they could be together again. A pointless worry, perhaps, but one that made Yang feel at ease.

"Yes, of course," Weiss told her patiently, patting her arm. "I'm all yours after that. Perhaps dinner, over at Penny's?"

Ruby turned to look at Penny with a shrug. "What do you think? I mean, I don't know your dads as well as you do."

"Oh, well… I mean, I'd have to ask them…" She held her chin in thought, tapping it as she formed a plan. "We'd need to get extra ingredients for dinner if we're suddenly having extra guests, but if we do all that ourselves I don't think they'll mind! Dad always manages to talk Father around even if things differ from the usual schedule."

"Huh… It'll certainly be an interesting night. Especially for you, Weiss." She began to smirk. Perhaps Weiss hadn't quite caught on, or assumed Yang was simply considering Weiss's status. By that point, of course, the diva's brow had started to furrow the slightest amount. She was mulling over those last few words from Penny in her mind.

"Dad talks to Father? But then… what's- oh." Both of her baby blue eyes flew wide. "OH! Wait, are you saying you have two fathers?!"

"O-Oh… Yes! Two wonderful fathers! I just tend to call one ‘Dad’ so they know whom I am addressing. Dad being the more relaxed of the two, of course. And Father is… Well, he's very stern…"

"Weiss's dad has some kind of iron rod shoved up his ass, too,” Yang chuckled. “So we'll be able to cope with either one. Still, dinnertime conversation will be delightful, huh?"

The diva folded her arms. "That man with the 'rod up his ass' hired you, didn't he? A little gratitude might be in order! After all, without him, you and I wouldn't be…"

Her voice trailed off as her eyes looked back toward the screen, slightly wider and more anxious than they had been moments before. Not that Ruby and Penny would probably be able to spot the difference. "Wouldn't… be… enjoying this beneficial arrangement of ours! Now, um, what time shall we expect dinner to be, Penny?"

"Um… so piano practice is at five thirty… my free time begins at six… Six-thirty? Is that a good enough time?"

Yang could see Weiss's slight worry, so she put arm around her, bringing her into her side to squeeze lightly. "Ooof course it is, Freckles! Long as it's cool with your dads."

"Yes, please clear it with them first," Weiss laughed nervously. "And Yang has my number if plans should change, but she'll be seeing you in person tomorrow!"

A squeal loosed from Ruby as she clapped her hands. "This is so AWESOME! Okay, I'm gonna go help Penny ask them for permission and everything - talk to you later, sis!"

"Not if I talk to you first!" And with the click of a button, the call was ended. All Yang could do was squeeze Weiss even tighter toward her for a moment, before eventually releasing. "Are you absolutely sure about being out by yourself? It's been a while since that jerkface tried something, and we got him, but… I'm still worried about you."

"Don't worry so much," she reassured Yang. "You are supposed to be my bodyguard, yes, but not absolutely one hundred percent of the time! Another of our company's security can go with me, and then I'll just stay in my bus until you get back to take me to this Penny's house. It's not a problem."

"Yeah, but… now I have extra reasons to worry. Not just professional ones." She backed away for a moment, looking into the orbs of blue she had grown to adore over the past week. But even despite her worries, she had a smile to offer. "But I know you'll be fine. I'm not about to turn into some overbearing prick who bans you from going outside without me."

That notion did make Weiss smirk at the blonde. Glancing at the phone, just to make entirely sure the call had ended, she slid her hands around Yang's waist, nails scratching lightly at her abs through her shirt. "Ooh, are you sure? Doesn't the big strong Amazon want to chain up the princess in her dungeon?"

Said Amazonian woman could only growl in response, back arcing away from the fingers at first as she sat herself upright, deliberately trying to make herself seem as tall as possible to impress her 'princess'. Taking a quick glance at the clock, she then looked back and smirked. "We got time."

With an expression of giddy glee, Weiss dashed to the back of the bus, wailing, "Nooo, the Amazon will chain me up in her Tower of Terror! Whatever shall I dooooo?"

"C'mere, princess!" Yang smirked, dashing after her and toward the bedroom. But not before taking one thing that would serve into Weiss's request for their time. Her orange scarf. Weiss wanted to be chained up, she would have her request.

But when Yang got to the door, Weiss was on the other side, leaning against it. "Stay away, you brute! Or I'll unleash my magic powers on you!" The giggling sounded like that of a five-year-old, but clearly Weiss was enjoying herself.

"Magic powe- I swear if you sing 'Let it Go' or any of that Disney shit, I am coming for you twice as hard!" When she tried the door, it was stuck. And so she tried again, pushing at it from the other side. "You can't hide forever you know!"

"KEEP AWAY, YOU BRUTE!" she cackled as Yang slowly began to budge Weiss; she knew that between the two of them, there was no way she would ever win, and wasn't putting up a terribly hard fight in the first place. After a few more pushes, the door creaked open enough for her to reach through the gap, able to grasp her wrist. Even though she was giggling like a child, she still had a role to play.

"Got'cha!"

The squeal that leapt from Weiss's throat was so high-pitched that you almost couldn't tell it came from a person. She tried to pull away - which, of course, was a mistake, because it released the pressure from her side of the door, letting Yang inside. Bursting into the room, she grinned evilly as she used it to pull her in toward her, moving her hands to her hips instead. Repeating the action she did when they very first met, she hauled her up and onto her shoulder, carrying her over to the bed with ease.

"Think you can get away that easy, huh? I'll have to teach you a li’l lesson."

"A lesson?! But I am only a princess - I don't have to learn lessons! Put me down!" Her legs flailed and tried to kick Yang, but from that position it wasn't quite possible.

"Oh I think you'll wanna learn these. Lesson one!" Lifting her from her shoulders, she then threw Weiss down onto the plush surface of the bed. From there, she quickly climbed on top of her, straddling her hips to keep her pinned down. As Weiss looked up at her, she smirked right back, holding up the scarf and dangling it back and forth above her to tease her. "How to prepare your victim."

Weiss didn't have the slightest idea what might be in store for her next, but her curiosity had been piqued. What did Yang mean to do with that scarf? So vanilla were her fantasies that she couldn't think of a single thing; for her sheltered mind, it was already the height of decadence that she was sleeping with a woman at all.

"Prepare? Wh… what are you going to do?"

Yang had always felt this temptation to corrupt Weiss, to bring to light deeper and darker new ideas. Why was the idea of that so much fun? But either way, she managed to grasp one of Weiss's wrists, quickly wrapping the scarf around it and tying it into place.

"Make damn sure your hands don't leave that bed post."

"Wh-WHAT?!" she gasped out, genuinely shocked for a moment. But then she realized the scarf couldn't truly trap her if she struggled hard enough - just that it would hold her temporarily. "I m-mean, um… what do you plan on doing to me, you fiend?"

"This!" Looping the longer piece of the scarf around the post, she grasped Weiss's other wrist and pushed it upward to the same place, tying that to the same post to keep her down. Once satisfied with the binding, she leant back to marvel at her work, eyes raking her helpless form. A deep thrill was settling in as she watched Weiss test the binds, and struggle against them. She would be unable to stop her, unable to dictate her movements. She was in full control.

The pale cheeks were definitely flushed from their struggles, and from the knowledge of her current situation. Caught like a fly in a spider's web. Her hips shifted back and forth, her heart pounding in her throat. What would Yang do to her, now that she was completely powerless?

"I… I am yours, Amazon," she breathed, as if thinking this admission might get her to go easier on her.

"You're damn right," she whispered. To think, Weiss had only just done her hair when she first came out the bedroom, and now Yang was about to completely mess it up again. That and more. Her hands were quick to move to their goal, straight to the buttons on her low cut shirt. Even if she would be unable to remove it completely with her arms now tied, it would be enough to get her a better look of what was beneath.

Although, before she threw it open, she looked back up to the blue eyes. Yang was yet to see her body unclothed. In her underwear, sure, but not this much. Not yet. And perhaps Weiss wanted to keep it that way for longer.

"The safe word is ‘Half Caff Latté’, got it?"

The pop star's entire body had been tensed for her chest to be revealed to Yang for the first time, so shy had she been about putting herself on display up until this point. It wasn’t Yang; it was anyone. That wasn’t the kind of celebrity she had ever wanted to be, and still didn’t want to be; she had stayed away from anything risqué throughout her entire life. Therefore, the phrase was entirely lost on her.

"If I w… wait, what? Latte?"

Unable to help herself, Yang's Amazonian character broke, leaving her chuckling to herself for a brief moment while Weiss focused again. "'Half Caff Latté'. That's all you have to say if you get antsy, or uh, don’t like something I’m doing. Y’know, if our little game gets out of control and you need a break?"

"Oh." Her eyebrows were still knit in confusion, but eventually she repeated, "Half Caff Latte, okay." The poor girl had never even heard of "safe words", didn't know a thing about how that worked. But the concept made sense to her.

"Alright. Now back to business…" Straight back to the role again, she threw Weiss's shirt open. And what a sight she was greeted with indeed…

Weiss's skin was flawless. She clearly looked after it, given how fair it was all over. No marks, blemishes or scars to be seen; just creamy, supple flesh. The petite breasts were still hidden by her bra, but their size was clear now that she was half naked. Unable to help herself, she ran a hand down her cleavage, slowly down to the flat stomach.

"You're so fucking hot."

Shivering, Weiss turned her head aside, unable to meet Yang's eyes as she breathed, "Am I?" That seemed to be all she could say; too much of her attention was focused on ignoring the spike of fear, the nervousness.

"Yes," she reaffirmed, backing herself down from straddling Weiss's hips so she could lie on top of her properly, and kiss her collarbone over and over. It wasn't anything she knew would give the woman pleasure, but she hoped Weiss would feel it for what it was. Body worship. "This Amazon loves her princess…"

The shaky breath outward seemed to confirm that she was at least able to breathe again. Her hands came up to clutch Yang's body to her own-

And were held fast by her bonds. This impromptu game of theirs turned out to be so cruel! Only the light kisses kept her from shrieking when she was reminded again that she was tied up; Yang wanted to tease, not to frighten. Keeping that in mind helped.

But for Yang it was only making her chuckle even more. She was delighting in her seemingly cruel ways. Lower and lower her hands were sinking over Weiss's body, until they got to the waistband of her skirt. In the past week, this is where she struggled to get further. One way or another, Weiss protested, or made an excuse. And while Yang understood and obeyed, she never understood why. As she began to lower it slightly, she waited for Weiss's reaction.

The skirt being lowered did have an effect. Weiss began to squirm more, to seem more nervous. Nothing vastly more pronounced than prior to that, but just enough that it was noticeable. She raised her hindquarters to allow Yang to remove the skirt, but when she lowered them again, her thighs were very tightly clamped together – so much so that the muscles were visible in strong relief against her skin.

As she pushed the skirt away entirely, throwing it aside to the ground, Yang was beginning to notice just how clamped shut her legs were. Although she knew Weiss was nervous, she never suspected it would be this bad. Not to the point of straining to keep Yang from looking. And her underwear hadn't even come off just yet.

"What's wrong?" she asked in character, toying with the waistband of her underwear. "Don't you want your Amazon to ravage you?"

"Don't know wh-why she'd want to," Weiss managed to breathe shakily. The finger inside the waistband of her underwear was too much, apparently; too far past her comfort zone. She wasn't trying to dissuade Yang, or saying the café-related phrase that would bring everything to a halt.

But one look at her face showed that she was seconds from a panic attack. True, she wasn't allowing it to interfere with their play, but that didn't reduce or eliminate her reaction. All it took was one glance upward for Yang to know. Where she expected to see playfulness or lust in her eyes, she saw fear and sadness. She was tense all over, to a point when it was visible on her body. Perhaps she was only hanging on for Yang's benefit, but she wouldn't allow that to make her panic. And so, releasing the waistband, she backed herself off, sitting down to one side.

"Do you want me to untie you?"

"No," Weiss breathed unconvincingly. "I mean, um… yes?" Trying to recover their game had come out only sounding like she was finished with it, so she deflated again. "I don't know… I'm sorry."

But such uncertainty was enough to tell Yang the answer. Instead of continuing, she leant up to untie one of Weiss's wrists. "C'mon, you can tell me." Yang was now speaking genuinely, keeping her gaze to her upper half rather than down below. "You've been really tense when we've tried this. Not that I care! No rush, seriously! I just… you know you can tell me anything, right? I don't want you to be scared of me."

"You don't scare me." That came out sounding a lot more petulant than she meant for it to, so she sighed and tried again. "You don't. It's not that, it's… I'm… I just have never been comfortable letting anyone see my body. Especially not… th-that part of me."

The words tugged at Yang's very being. She knew that feeling all too well, although it was mainly in fear of what they would think rather than self-hatred. This seemed like the latter of the two. Not that she understood why particularly.

"Why? I mean you're beautiful, I'm sure yo-" Biting her tongue, she stopped herself rambling on. Forcing her to explain would only make things worse. "I-I mean… You don't have to explain if you don't want to. There’s lots of other stuff we could do."

"You don't want to see it, trust me," Weiss breathed. Then her head raised up to gaze directly across at Yang, blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "Well… you probably understand better than anyone else would. Wanting to hide your body from other people. But you don't want to hear this from me – not when my problems are so stupid compared to what you've had to deal with."

To show she wasn't about to give in, Yang crossed her arms and legs as she sat by her side. "Try me."

For a long moment, Weiss rubbed her wrists and thought. This wasn't something she wanted to discuss. Ever. But Yang was willing to listen, whereas no one else ever had been even slightly interested – or someone she would really want to discuss this with in the first place. This actually affected Yang and their budding relationship, and she had a right to know.

"Well… like I said, I know it's not the same. I do know that. But… when I saw that you have what you have, and when you told me about having surgeries, and all that? Because your body wasn't born the way you wanted it to look… or, um, however you'd say that. There was a little part of me that already knew what you meant. It's not the same, but it did help me understand where you were coming from a little better than I might have otherwise."

"So wait… what are we talking about here? Because if you’re about to tell me you have a dick, I think I’m gonna faint."

“You already know I don’t,” she chuckled weakly. “You’d have felt it the way I felt yours. Because you’re so sexy, and laying on top of me like you do...” Her eyes dropped again. “No, I just don’t really like… certain things about my body. Little things.”

Things were starting to make a lot more sense. Yang had suffered with her self image, of course, but in a different way. Weiss seemed to be telling her that she hated how a part of her own body looked. And judging by the unshed tears, a lot.

"Is that why you were asking me about who I went to for my rack?"

"Who you went to? For… your boobs? OH! Oh, no no no, not my boobs!" She laughed a little with relief – it was good for her, from the look of things. "Though they are barely worth being called that, I'm fine with my pathetic cup size. All the tabloids demanding to know if I’m ever getting implants are wasting their time. It's…" Her voice got quiet again, though it was less fearful than it had been before. Her hands folded tightly in her lap. "It's somewhere else that I dislike."

Spying downward to where Weiss's hands had ended up, and seeing how tight Weiss's legs were still crossed, she could guess. "Right." But after a while, she finally took a step of bravery. "If you don't mind me asking… how come? Like, what’s the problem?"

"You wouldn't understand. I mean… you'd understand the whole idea of being dissatisfied, obviously! Like you said! But this will… UGH, I feel so nit-picky!"

"Weiss, it's not a contest," she reassured her, placing her hand on her thigh, far lower than she had before. Just enough so she'd be able to see it was reassuring rather than to continue their play. "I'm sure whatever it is, you probably see it as far worse than it actually is. But it's one hundred percent not going to matter to me, okay? No matter what, I’m not going anywhere, and I’m still gonna think you’re… so perfect."

There was a long pause as Weiss weighed that offer. The pros and cons, her own feelings. Her hand fell to Yang's and squeezed it hard - harder than she usually did just from holding hands.

"I'm… it's… lopsided."

Yang tilted her head. In regards to that area, she didn't really know what to expect from that comment. At least, not something that would make someone feel such a dislike for their own anatomy. "Huh? Lopsided?"

"Very." Her other hand came up to rub at her eyes, hard. "Ever since puberty, I've noticed that, and… and I don't know what to do about it, I know there’s a minor surgery to fix this, but I would have to admit that it's real to a DOCTOR to get it fixed! And it's just a stupid cosmetic surgery, and my father would be so disappointed with me for having anything like that done, and… and I don't know what to do besides live with it!"

Yang was confused. "Why the hell would your father have any say? It's a part of you, it's got nothing to do with anyone else!"

"Oh, it's just how he's always felt about things like this. Body image, sexuality – I did ask him if I could get my boobs done once, not even completely certain I wanted to go through with it, and he shouted at me for almost an hour. Definitely shot that idea down."

Yang was trying to understand. Truly trying. But she simply couldn't grasp it. Her own father had always been so supportive of her, once the initial shock wore off and they had talked things through — even offering to help pay for her top surgery until Yang insisted otherwise. The very thought of any father shouting at his daughter over that simply made Yang's blood boil.

"That's… That's bullshit! How fucking dare he!"

Weiss was a little startled at this reaction from Yang. Not afraid, but puzzled. "Well… our bodies are a temple, aren't they? Father just sees them as being sacred. Changing them to suit the earthly standards of beauty is not only a waste of money, but in defiance of God." Then she shrugged and slumped down a little more. "Or that's what he believes, anyway. Not sure what I believe anymore."

All Yang could do was continue to stare out into space. She assumed her father had at least guessed about her condition, given that she had listed qualifications on her CV that were under her previous name. And yet if this is what he truly believed, he obviously didn't – else he wouldn't have hired her.

"Temples have to be built though, right?" She was trying to bring things into perspective, to try and explain in a way Weiss would understand. "And they're always being improved how people want them. Not to how any god or whatever wants them to be. Your body is your temple. And your father should get no say whatsoever in how you want it."

Then her hand went to Weiss's once again, giving it a small squeeze. "And if you want to get anything done, if you really feel like it'll help you, then you do it. Fuck what anyone else thinks."

"Yeah," she breathed quietly. She had been listening, but it all flew in the face of everything she'd ever known and was therefore a lot more difficult to take in. "But… it's… I don't know, it's not like with your chest, where it didn't match what you felt it should be. I already have the body I want, except f-for…" Wiping her eyes again, she added in a whisper of pure agony, "It's so ugly."

For a moment, Yang fell silent. It wasn't her right to dictate what was and wasn't ugly on the diva’s body, even if she'd had more than enough experience with such feelings. All she could do was listen, understand, be there for her. But perhaps she was in the unique position to offer more.

"Then what about a second opinion?"

"A second opinion? Where would I get one of-" Then Weiss smiled, though it was a tight, knowing smile. "You just want to get into my panties, you big lesbo."

Giving back a humoured smile, she tilted her head. "Got me. But seriously, I can pop the hood and take a look, if you wanted."

Weiss hesitated. Truly hesitated, looking up at Yang as if trying to tell if she was messing with her. "No. I mean… do you really want to? No, I can't ask you to do that. Or I could - but you don't want to stare at my weird vagina, it's… icky, and unpleasant."

"I put up with you when you thought I was weird and unpleasant, right?" That part was a joke. But the offer was not. That much was obvious when Yang placed her hands on her thighs, rubbing them slowly. "No part of you is ‘icky’, I can tell you that right now. Pinky swear if you want."

Weiss's blue eyes flew open, fingertips reaching for Yang's shirt. "You… you do?"

"I do. And I can tell you that even without seeing it. Because it's you." She then waited patiently for Weiss's next move. Whether that was to allow her to see or not, it didn't matter. Yang meant every word. Even in such a short amount of time, she adored Weiss. Far more than she could put into words.

And then, almost so slowly one could count the passage of time by minutes instead of seconds, Weiss's thighs began to part. She still didn't open them very wide or act as if she were looking forward to what came next, but she was at least amenable.

"You… may proceed. But if you agree with me that it’s weird-looking, I want your honest opinion – don't sugar-coat anything."

"Do I ever sugar-coat anything?" But before she could allow her to answer that, she did as she promised. Hands returning to the waistband of her panties, she began to pull them downward. Slowly, gradually… Until she slid them off her legs completely, and left them with her skirt. Her hands then returned to her thighs, and she looked back up to the tears in Weiss's eyes as she allowed her legs to part. It wasn't quick, but it also wasn't as slow as before; it seemed now that she had made the decision, there was no sense in delaying the inevitable.

As she had indicated, Weiss's labia were indeed slightly uneven; the one on Yang's right was perhaps half an inch longer than the other, and more wrinkled. Everything was quite pink, almost vividly so, and as she was open and on display, the hood over the top couldn't quite conceal her clit; that was also very nominally larger than was typical. Other than those minor notes, Weiss was entirely average.

Hands remaining firmly on her thighs, Yang did as she was told. Looking down toward it to gather a second opinion, her breath rustling the sparse, untrimmed white-blonde hair above. As she predicted, she didn't find it ugly at all. It was a part of Weiss, just as unique as the rest of her, and quite lovely to her viewpoint. Somehow it was more fitting that way, for her to be slightly different, to have a small quirk.

"It's just as beautiful as the rest of you, ya dork."

"No, it's not!" she burst out, voice full of tears even if she wasn't crying yet. "It looks stupid! Not that I r-really like how vaginas normally look in the first place, but come on, how can you not think I'm a freak of nature?!"

For a moment, Yang looked back toward her, raising one eyebrow. Even without words, the message was obvious, that talking about freaks of nature to Yang was somewhat ironic considering how much she differed from 'normal'. But when she looked back down at her, and the larger-then-average clit, she couldn't help but smile again.

"It's not stupid. And I think your little button is really cute."

"A BUTTON!?" she demanded, curling to sit up and get a decent look down at herself. Once she figured out what Yang meant, she tutted and said, "No, no- I meant the lips! The lips are weird! Does it really look like a button?!"

So that was what Weiss found unacceptable, the thing that made her so frightened of revealing herself to Yang – or to even look at for herself before now. But for her partner, she hadn't even noticed – not until Weiss pointed it out. She tilted her head again, brushing one of her hands slowly inward toward it along her inner thigh.

"Weiss, your body is beautiful. It's not perfect, but I promise you… nobody cares whether or not any girl’s snatch looks like it belongs on a mannequin or something. I really like you exactly like this."

The exposed singer seemed to be unable to speak now. Yang was going to touch it. Going to touch her shame, touch it and say that it was beautiful. This couldn't be happening – she felt a compulsion to run away, to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. But the hand was coming closer and closer, and all she could do was clutch at the sheets and squeeze both eyes shut.

When she saw her eyes were closed, Yang stopped her movements. She didn't believe anyone wanted to do this, truly thought she considered it ugly despite saying otherwise. There was only one way she could think of to show her she wasn't. She shuffled herself over on the bed, moving her position to between her thighs. Then laying on her front, head facing it, she held her legs open, leaning in to give the very shame Weiss thought she had… A kiss.

An anguished, strained cry loosed from deep in Weiss's throat. Pure alarm, and confusion, and a dozen other emotions she couldn't specify. Her eyes swivelled down to see the blonde hair poking up from between her legs.

"Wh… what?!" she was able to squeak. It only seemed to earn her another kiss. And another, and another – each one delivered to the lips themselves. Every part that Weiss disliked, she made sure to spoil, in the hope that she would understand how Yang felt. That she truly didn't think it was ugly.

"You… I can't believe you're touching that!" Weiss whispered, no longer so shrill and distressed. Now she was confounded beyond all reason. Yang was not only touching it, but touching it with her mouth. That was insane!

Add into that how it felt… but Weiss couldn't focus on that yet, she didn't have the mental fortitude. She knew she liked it, but beyond that, there was no examining the sensation.

But Yang didn't give her too long to focus on what the kiss felt like. Soon enough she was sitting herself back upright between her legs, staring down at the beautiful woman lying on the bed, still dumbfounded by her girlfriend's actions. Where her lips were pressed, a hand was brushing against the folds again, pressing inward slightly.

"Girl, it is the best I’ve ever had."

A familiar moan escaped the diva as she laid back on the bed. This time, however, there was a touch of uncertainty in it, even more so than the first time Yang pleasured her through the fabric of her shorts. At least it had been concealed – now she was open, exposed! And Yang could actually feel how strange the shape of her sex was!

"You… are you sure?" she finally managed to pant a minute later. "It's not… you're n-not just saying that?"

"I'm sure." She further underscored her affinity for Weiss's body by pressing her hand firmer up against it, brushing up and down again to test how she felt about being touched there. Judging by the moan, she liked it a lot. "Amazon is all about her princess."

"R-really? You are?" Tears were rolling down the diva’s cheeks, leaking at last, but they seemed to be involuntary. Weiss herself was arching her back, clutching the sheets as the sensations assailed her – and far stronger than the last time they had fooled around. If she had known it felt this good to tease them directly, she would have simply thrust Yang's hand down the front of her panties, the risk of her feeling her abnormality be damned!

As it was… she couldn't express the joy she felt at knowing Yang liked her body. Her silly, almost-perfect body with its jarring flaw. Until now, it had been one she could hide easily enough, but Yang wanting to treat all of her body with love and tenderness had blown past that defence. Now, there was nothing between the two of them.

"Yeah. It's so soft… It just feels so nice to touch, like the rest of you." Yang was about to lean back up to kiss her lips, but remembering where they had just been, she turned aside, pressing her lips against her collarbone instead. Never did her hand leave the exquisite flesh, making delicate movements over and over again – building to stronger ones.

Such actions – and hearing the reactions from Weiss – were causing her own “abnormality” beginning to throb against the fabric of her shorts and panties. And why wouldn't it? When something felt this good to touch alone, how good would it be to feel Weiss wrapped around herself?

"Oh… o-OH, Yang!" Little by little, Weiss widened her legs to allow Yang better access, relaxing into their new activity. Her back began to arch as her head fell back, and she knew she was loving this, that her reservations about being seen and touched directly had just gone up in smoke – at least when it came to one specific bodyguard. "How are you so good at this? NNhhh, yeah!"

"Practice," she muttered against her neck, continuing to press her lips against it over and over again, kneading against the sweet skin. Maybe she wasn't going to tie Weiss back up again after all, but that didn't mean she was going to let their character roles completely slip away.

After a minute of simply toying, she leant upward to her ear, whispering in a low, gruff voice, "So how about it?" She punctuated her words by pressing her fingertips near her entrance. "How about your ‘amazon’ truly takes her princess?"

"Wh-what does that even MEAN?!" she demanded weakly, clutching at Yang's upper arm with the left half of her perfectly-manicured nails. Seemed some innuendo still went directly over the sheltered girl's head.Staying by her ear, the bodyguard’s finger began to circle slowly so she could give her an idea. Weiss was so wet! Completely soaked and ready for this physically. But mentally, perhaps that was another story.

"Me, inside you, claiming your body. Making it feel good. Is that what you want?"

"You ins- WITH YOUR-" Weiss's eyes shot wide, and all those nails dug into the flesh much harder than before. "B-but that's… that would be…"

And the reality of their situation hit her. Sex. They were going to do more than just fool around, they were going to have actual penetrative sex – her first time. Virginity, impregnation… Her legs clamped together on the hand, not allowing it to leave but also not allowing it as much free reign as it had moments ago.

"Yang, I- is that what you want? To really, um, sleep together?"

Yang remained completely still for a moment longer. The hand hadn't given her enough of a clue yet it seemed. Or had it? She leant up to look into her eyes. She needed to be sure she understood everything before continuing at all. "Weiss, I mean with my fingers, not with my… y’know. The other thing. But this isn't about what I want, it's about what you want.”

The relief in Weiss’s eyes was complete and obvious. A few seconds later, her thighs relaxed and she let go of Yang's bicep. "Oh… well, I… we've never tried that, I don't know…" Perhaps this still wasn't something she had been expecting to try today, but at least it wasn't as unexpected as losing her virginity!

"Sure, it’s new, but it's something to try if you wanted. And I mean, I’ve never owned a vagina, but from what I hear, it’s… different." She gently pressed a fingertip up against the entrance properly, not enough to enter at all, but just enough to have her feel its presence, for her to grasp if she wanted more.

"Ooh… th-that's different, alright!" Gulping, the inexperienced girl pet up and down Yang's arm, almost as if trying to reassure herself as much as her partner. "Um… w-will it hurt? If you go inside, I mean…"

"Judging by how you feel down here…" Rotating her fingers around the area, Yang attempted to moisten her fingers as much as possible with Weiss's juices. She really was ready… "Pretty sure it won’t. But I'll go slow. Just let me know how it feels."

There was a long pause as Weiss considered her options. She could either refuse, continue to be afraid of anything below the waist for a few more months… or she could take the plunge. Find out just how incredible Yang could make her body feel with those strong, confident hands of hers. So far, she had already made her feel whole new vistas of pleasure with them. Might as well reach for the stars.

"Slow is good," she finally admitted as her thighs began to relax. "So… so we can try, I think."

"Okay. Then let's just…" Like the first time she and Weiss had tried this, she pressed her lips against Weiss's collar bone, continuing to kiss it over and over again as some form of distraction, something to keep her grounded. It was all she could do seeing as she probably wouldn't allow Yang to kiss her lips just yet.

And slowly, two of Yang's fingertips began to guide themselves down, entering the wet and wonderful warmth that was her girlfriend. Her diva. All she could do was continue to push deeper, and listen for her reactions.

"Wow!" she breathed, eyes flying wide as she felt something entering her for the first time. "This… it feels like so MUCH! Are you… using three fingers?! I thought you said you would go slow!"

"Just two," she reassured her between kisses, pressing more of them again and again as she pushed in further, and further. Once she thought she was deep enough for a first attempt, she began to draw them back out again.

And Weiss was appreciative. Even if she didn't know how to show it properly, having her inner walls stroked was an experience unlike any she had ever felt – it wasn't as strong as when Yang really got going stroking her through the shorts, but far stronger than merely caressing her outer lips a moment ago. Was this what women felt all over the world when being pleasured? How she had been missing out!

Each time Yang plunged her fingers back in, she reached a little deeper than before. And then she'd draw back out, then back in, over and over again in a slow pace to help her get used to the sensation. This was Weiss's first taste of what sex would be like. Only more was to come later in their relationship, but for now, Yang was going to help Weiss discover this. They both would together.

The fingers sparked an awakening within Weiss’s body. Up until that point, it had all been new, and gratifying, and beautiful. But something about this particular action… there was a "rightness" to it. Deep down in her rational mind, she knew it was a genetic need to be deflowered, to provide children into the world which made the actions associated with procreation pleasurable, but it seemed like more than that. Having Yang inside of her was the most satisfying experience of her entire life – moreso than a steaming latte, or a spa day, or singing in front of a crowd onstage.

Well… maybe not that last one.

"You're so warm…" It was all she could think about as she continued to push herself inside, gradually increasing her speed. Everything about her beloved girlfriend, Yang found flawless. The small squeaks she made as her body twitched, the feeling of softness that between her legs had, even if it was what she was ashamed of from the start. Everything only fuelled her own need. And as she lay by Weiss's side and kept kissing her neck, she couldn't help but begin to push her hips forward, grinding against her thigh. Her subconscious would do anything to try and satisfy the burning heat.

Against all expectations from either of them, Weiss felt the hardness up against her leg… and she laughed. It was a nervous laugh, but she couldn't help it; the very idea that eventually, that might be inside her… that was the most ludicrous thing in the world in that moment.

On the other end of the spectrum lay Yang's efforts to bring her to orgasm. Those fingers were most certainly anything but ludicrous. She loved them, she loved feeling her girlfriend up against her body, the lips on her collar… the fullness inside of her. Everything was magic.

Yang could feel a twitch from within the diva's body around her fingers which told her what she needed. That soon she would be at her end. To ensure that, she sped her fingers up even more, starting to curl them upward. She had fond memories of that working with Blake before, maybe Weiss was the same.

As it turned out, she was. Very much so.

"OOOHH!! Yang, that's- oh my GOD, what are you doing to me?! It's so much, it's- WHOOOOHAH!"

"That's it… Come for me, my princess." It was her last ditch effort to help Weiss finish, whispering into her ear in that same low-toned voice while she continued to push in and out of her at a higher speed. For her first time, Weiss really was weathering such treatment well. It only made her own thrusting against Weiss's leg begin to intensify. She could only begin to imagine their future, when their bodies would unite as one.

The squeals got louder and sharper as Weiss continued to let the fingers punish her insides, to tease this newly discovered spot that seemed to be made out of pure fire and emotion. Sparks blazed out from every fingertip and every toe as she writhed under her, mouth hanging open and panting with the effort of trying not to lose her mind.

"Yang! Yang, it's- it's happening! I'm going t-to- tooooOOOAAHHHH! YES! Yeah, more!"

"More? Alright!"

In her last ditch effort to push her to orgasm, Yang had increased the speed of her fingers as fast as she could against that spot. Instead of kissing more, she instead bit down against Weiss's neck, sucking at the flesh she had captured in her lips to mark her. The ultimate sign that she belonged to her.

One single bite was enough. Between the attention already being paid to her sensitive spot inside, the knowledge that it was Yang, and the unexpected flash of dull pain along her neck, the peak of her pleasure burst and rushed over her amidst a flurry of high-pitched squealing, limbs jerking and shivering. It was ten times more glorious than she had been expecting, and she loved every minute.

Savouring every moment, Yang delivered a few more firm thrusts with her fingers, allowing Weiss to ride out her orgasm right to the very end. Seeing her at the peak of her orgasm was the most wonderful thing she had experienced in a long, long time. The fact that she got to see it more than once in her lifetime was nothing less than majestic.

Finally, her hand came to a stop as her mouth released the side of her neck. She curled around her side, taking a moment to catch her own breath. "Good enough for you?"

The panting pop star could only nod as she lay there, blinking over at Yang with hazy blue eyes full of affection and appreciation. However, it didn't stop her hand from reaching down to caress Yang through her shorts. Only weakly, and only teasing, but enough to let her know that the thrusting against her thigh did not go entirely unnoticed.

"Hnnhh…" A rather sharp hum of pleasure sounded from Yang as her own sex got its turn to enjoy some attention. It was already at full length, and she hadn't even taken any of her clothes off. She had to change that. Suddenly she was rushing to fiddle with her jacket zipper, quickly pulling it down and tossing it aside, then immediately throwing her top along with it. She allowed Weiss to handle her lower half, knowing how much she enjoyed it.

This time, however, it seemed Weiss was feeling a bit more playful. A vague smile played across her face as she slithered a hand down Yang's shorts, the fingers gently surrounding the top side of her length and sliding up and down along it.

"Oh! W-Weiss?!" Was she going to get her off this way instead? And allow her to mess up her shorts and panties? Apparently so. Not that she would protest. Instead, she rolled over onto her back, allowing Weiss to have her way with her entirely, raising her arms above her head to show it.

"Mmmhh," Weiss sighed as she enjoyed the feeling beneath her fingers. One thing was for sure within her mind: she definitely wasn't "fully lesbian" if she enjoyed teasing a cock as much as she seemed to. And Yang's was even better, since it wasn't attached to some creepy guy. Win-win!

Eventually, Weiss regained her energy enough to roll over and begin stroking her in earnest, other hand tracing its way up and down her side. As she did so, listening to her girlfriend get closer and closer, a desire began to take shape in her mind. Something that had happened spontaneously once before, but not since… and the accompanying shame of the thought made her begin to blush and look away.

But as she managed to look up at last in the middle of her pleasure, she spotted such a blush, and such a nervous look. That wasn't from their current activity, Yang could tell that much. No… it seemed the diva had other plans for her. Just ones she was too nervous to speak of out loud.

"W-what'cha thi- AH! What'cha thinking about?" she prompted in the middle of her pleasure, only just managing to hold on.

"Well… I was kind of- no, never mind," she cut herself off hastily as she fondled Yang, biting her lip to keep from speaking anymore. Though she saw Yang was still watching and waiting for her to talk. She had told her that her misshapen sex was beautiful, after all. Maybe there was nothing to fear. "I wanted… you to… do what you did that first time. Again."

"Do what I… Huh?" Yang hesitantly laid a hand on Weiss's to stop her pumping any further. If she did, she would finish before Weiss could even explain properly. "What thing was that?"

Obviously, Weiss was still extremely embarrassed about her request, but she closed her eyes and forced herself to whisper it anyway. "Finish on m-my face?" Then she waited, stomach clenched, for summary judgment. To be told she was a freak.

"Oh…" Just like that, Yang’s blush matched her partner’s, releasing Weiss's hand so she could continue again if she wanted to. Weiss wanted her on her face yet again, to mark her with her own juices. It seemed degrading to do it to her, and yet the thought was making her heat only spike.

Nodding to accept such a request, she went to unbutton her shorts, pulling them, and her underwear down and off to give Weiss ease of access. And Weiss kept jerking, albeit at a slightly slower pace so as not to drive Yang over the edge too soon. At the same time, she was also crawling backward off the bed with a slow and steady pace. Seemed she was headed for the floor.

All the while, Yang grasped at the sheets instead, leaning her head back against the pillows in an effort to try and hold on. If she came too soon, it wouldn't be satisfying enough. Not to mention it wouldn't land where her girlfriend wanted it. But Weiss's hand was too good for her to do that for too long!

But by that point, Weiss was literally pulling Yang toward the edge of the bed by the appendage in her hand. The choices were to follow, or to have it pulled at in a way that was less than enjoyable, so she followed. Then she was sitting on the edge of the bed, Weiss kneeling before her.

"You… you ready, baby?" she panted, licking her lips, clearly more excited than even she herself had anticipated.

Now sat on the edge of the bed, Yang found her breath coming quicker and more shaky, her end getting closer and closer. The knotting in her stomach got worse with each pump of that delicate hand, her mouth hanging open as she tried not to blow too soon.

"Y-Yeah!" she called out, grasping the sheets once more. "K-Keep going, Weiss! You're so… so fucking good!"

Being told she was "good" only made Weiss want to stroke the hot length faster, to kiss the tip of it – she didn't dare take it inside her mouth again, for fear Yang would finish that way. Not when she had already expressed her desire for something else.

"Yeah, Yang! Make me dirty for you!" Where were these words coming from?! They completely baffled her when she heard them escaping her own lips, but they also seemed to make a certain kind of sense. Not that they should have. Not that she understood why.

And so she rolled her hips with Weiss's movements, pushing herself against the relentless hand to get herself over the limit. Until at last, she called out loudly, grasping the sheets below as tightly as possible for when she felt the pleasure sear through her body. Muscles tightening, she felt her length throb in Weiss's hand as she got her wish. Yet again her seed was expelled, the tight grip causing it to spurt hard against Weiss’s face… just as she had requested. Some on her cheeks, some on her chin. It was far more this time compared to the amount that accidentally landed before.

Of course, Weiss had been expecting to flinch and turn away, despite her earlier enjoyment of this – and her own want for a repeat performance. Maybe it had been a fluke that she liked it last time. An empowered woman like her, one who was an international household name, couldn't want to be a mere canvas for sperm!

Dead wrong. Each and every place the warm wetness splashed against her face felt like it was crackling with electricity. Again, Yang was marking her – as she had with her neck in a different way. A moan escaped her, almost like she was being pleasured directly. There was so much, and she wanted more! Wanted Yang to cover her completely in it!

But alas, after a few more pumps, Yang had no more to give. She found herself having to hold Weiss's hand again to stop her rubbing her raw. God she was desperate for this! Never had she met anyone who actually wanted to be drenched in her juices, not to mention craved it enough that she'd try to force more of it out of her.

Finally allowed to come down from her high, she panted with pleasure, looking down to admire her work on Weiss's face. Which forced her to blush all the way to her blonde roots. "H-Holy… crap…"

Seemingly unable to help herself, the painted princess wrapped her lips around the head to devour what she couldn't wear. As muted and thick as ever it was, and still she didn't mind it – but she forced herself not to keep stroking. Yang had told her before that sometimes, keeping it up after it was “done” hurt more than it felt good.

This was amazing. Yes, it was beginning to become too much, it was starting to overstimulate her senses and wander into the painful territory; but the sight was amazing. Seeing this precious person in her life, a woman unanimously voted one of the most beautiful rising stars in North America, so dedicated to worshipping the dirtiest part of her body to the point that she was licking up the remains off her head… it was a sight she didn't want to forget.

"God," Yang moaned, tensing her muscles once again. "Y-You have… no idea how hot you look."

What she was doing looked good? Yang wouldn't have said so if she didn't mean every word. So Weiss slowed right down, the tongue moving in an almost lazy fashion as it swirled around the head. Maybe at this speed, it would be less torturous and more of a spectacle for her girlfriend.

It really was. Yet again, Weiss had gone above and beyond to make this a show for her. All while her face was still covered. "Fuck. I wish-" Swallowing, she placed a hand on Weiss’s where it lay on her thigh to signal to her to pause for a moment. "O-Okay, uh, this is gonna be such a weird request…"

Pulling her mouth back for the moment, Weiss actually laughed – a weak, nervous laugh, but a laugh all the same. "Weirder than the one I just made?! This I have to hear!"

Perhaps it was weirder. Considering once Weiss was finished, she could pretend it never happened, no one would be any the wiser… unless she relented. Reaching toward her shorts and into the pocket, she held her phone up. "Can I… take a pic?"

That did pull Weiss up fast. She froze entirely, looking between the phone and her girlfriend's face. "Oh. Um… wh-why? I mean, uh, I haven't thought ab- about…"

Weiss couldn’t handle the idea of this the same way an ordinary girl could. All she could think about was that one picture getting out, and what the fanbase would say if it did. Or social media platforms, or talk show hosts. Scandal couldn't even begin to describe the situation! Of course Yang would never post it anywhere, she trusted her… but what if her phone got hacked? Or lost?

"Well… you… have to promise me you'll be careful with it if you do," she finally finished meekly.

"Completely," Yang agreed, holding the phone back into her lap to take a decent aim for her and snapping one of her coated face, pouty lips slightly open. She obviously couldn’t hear any of Weiss’s internal worries, so all she could do was guarantee her own fortitude. Truly, Yang wasn't thinking of the implications. To her, Weiss was another person. Her girlfriend. Of course, she respected that she was well known, but it wasn't an issue Yang thought of. She was just going to treat her how she would treat any other if she loved them the same way. "It's just for me, or us. I promise."

The idea of it excited the confused diva, even as it terrified her. Yang having this small thing… maybe it was depraved of her, but she couldn't help but love the idea that Yang had something with which to blackmail her, should she ever treat her poorly. Why was that? It was more than a little messed up to like that idea.

Then it hit her: because Weiss was her boss. That was the truth of it, and it hit her with the force of a sledgehammer: all along, sleeping with someone who was technically an employee – even if it was of her father and not her directly – had bothered her slightly. That power imbalance. She was the star, she had all the “relationship capital” in her possession. This was a very unconventional way to balance those scales. Yang probably wasn't thinking about anything of the kind whatsoever, but for her, that was somehow very, very important.

"Do you…" Swallowing down her fears, her manicured fingernails repositioned themselves around Yang as her mouth formed words she never thought it would. "Do you want me with your cock in my mouth, or… l-licking it?"

"Whatever you want… you’re the one in the pic." She smirked as Weiss got into position, adding, "And if you want any pictures of me doing similar things… you only have to ask."

She couldn't help herself. "Actually, if you can take a picture of you licking your own cock, that would be… pretty unbelievable, and worth money in some way or another, I'm sure!"

Rolling her eyes, Yang giggled. "I can always give it a try if you wanna pay for the back surgery afterward." She raised the camera up to get the best angle, she waited for Weiss to get back into position. Why was this so enjoyable? Never before did she want a photo this degrading of a loved one, not of them covered in her semen at least. But she wanted it with Weiss.

And with a click of the shutter, she had it. "Perfect."

Reeling her tongue back into her mouth, Weiss whispered, "Take another," as she wrapped her lips around the girth of Yang's phallus again. It was exciting, taboo… everything was.

Yang's eyes snapped wide open. When she thought the diva couldn't surprise her anymore, she did it again. Weiss, who before Yang came along was abysmally Christian and would have probably never envisioned doing this in her wildest dreams, was offering not just one pic but a full spread. And she didn't take away that joy. Just as commanded, she took another, and one more when Weiss slid slightly more of her into her mouth.

After hearing the two more shutter clicks, Weiss did let go at last and patted Yang's leg as she stood up – and her legs seemed to not want to support her. "Whoa… okay, n-note to self; sex makes it hard to walk sometimes!"

"You're telling me! First time I was the bottom I couldn't walk for a couple of hours…" Yang seemed to pass that off as no big deal at all. Of course to her, it was completely normal to talk about, since Weiss knew she'd been with men and women. But maybe she hadn't thought about that aspect.

Filing away the information about Yang not being able to walk at all - and why that might have been the case – to be examined later, Weiss glanced over at Yang. "Um… c-can I see the pictures?"

Yang did as Weiss asked, bringing up the few photos she'd taken as she moved to one side so she could sit with her.

And the subject of the pictures felt very strange. Partly sick, partly turned on… but partly like she was having some out-of-body experience. That girl on the screen couldn't be her, covered in cum and choking down such a massive member. But it was. Almost as if to drive home the point to herself, her hand reached up to touch a corresponding drip of essence to where it was on the screen… and sure enough, there it was. Now that it had been in the open air so long, it was cool to the touch, and felt almost icy on her cheeks and chin. Against her finger, it just felt as it always did: like fluids.

"And it won't leave this phone. You can slam my dick in a bear trap if it does; swear to God, Weiss."

But upon seeing Weiss touch her face, and touch where her juices still were, she couldn't help but blush again. She'd pumped as much as she could out of her, yet was still keeping it on her face. Something about that bought a sick feeling of power over the diva she had never felt for anyone before.

But alas, fantasy had to end. Thankfully, she had her shorts to hand, due for a wash anyway. "Want me to get that?"

"What?" she breathed numbly as Yang laid her phone aside. "Oh… oh, yeah, I guess." Her hand dropped away as she stared into the distance, lost in thought.

Shuffling closer, Yang began to dab away at Weiss's cheeks, wiping up every drop off of her face. Once finished, she tossed the shorts into the washing basket, but then noticed Weiss's thousand-yard stare. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Then she shook herself a bit, turning to look at Yang. "Seriously, I'm just… everything is changing so fast. My whole life. Things I thought I would never do are happening, sometimes two or three at a time. Which… it's not a bad thing, but it's unexpected." Her shoulders shrugged modestly, and she was suddenly aware of how naked she was. "You… you don't think I'm turning into a… a bad person, do you?"

Yang wrapped an arm around her back, bringing her into her just to give her a gentle squeeze. "No. Discovering yourself and doing what makes you happy doesn't make you bad. Screw what anyone else would think."

After a few seconds, Weiss's body slowly began to relax. "I know you're right – I feel it, not just that I believe you, but it feels right to me. But all I can hear is my father in my head, telling me that girls who do stuff like we just did are ‘sinning’ and going to Hell, and it's- and I d-don't…" Sighing, she made herself shut up and just hug Yang back. Her words were only going to keep going around in circles if she didn't stop now.

Yet again, Yang held her close and pet over her hair softly. Everything was so alien to her. She knew Weiss's dad was strict, considering how much he insisted from the start that Weiss needed a guard, but to this level? And that was what Weiss had to deal with all her life, being told that doing what she wanted was sinful. To the point that she even hated a part of her own body…

"The way I see it," Yang began, "as long as you're a good person to everyone else, like you treat people well, don't deliberately hurt anybody, don't steal, all that crap… I can't honestly see how an all loving god can punish you for just having fun with a friend. That’s dumb."

"Yeah… yeah, that sounds like the truth to me. Just don't know if I believe that, or what my father does." However, she finally sagged against Yang tiredly, gratefully. "But… I'm leaning in your direction. Figuratively, and for real."

"Good. Cause it's my way or the highway." Again, she pressed a kiss against the top of Weiss's head. This whole relationship was an adventure of self-discovery for both of them. Even if Yang had been with women prior, she still hadn't been with any since she transitioned. And of course for Weiss, it was all entirely new.

But one thing the bodyguard was positive of was that she didn't want it to stop anytime soon.

[morethannotenough]

...there we were.

Well, I ruined it! Within about 7 months of meeting my goal I have gained every. single. ounce. back. 

Frustrated, disgusted, disappointed, angry... these don’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling. The back pain, the shortness of breath, the fatigue, it’s all back too. What’s killing me is my mind is still obsessed with that goal, but I can’t motivate my body to do anything about it. That’s not to say I’m not trying. Things are just going to be a little more complicated this time, because clearly the whole “well I’ll just not eat for 6 months” approach to weight loss ISN’T WORKING, and I understand why now, which helps, but also means I have to address some gigantic, well-established thought processes. That ish is hard. 

That being said, I do think I’m making a little bit of progress, and I’d like to kind of track it here if I have the willpower to keep writing. I use to write in a journal every day, but I felt like it kept me stewing in my negative emotions too much (because what else would a 16-year-old girl write about except her emotional turmoil?!), so I stopped and have been hesitant to pick up the habit again. Also... I’m an adult with responsibilities now, so spending hours a day pouring my soul out to the internet isn’t really an option anymore. I’ve thought about doing some sort of daily or weekly blog/journal/whatever during this whole process, but like everything else in my life, I put it off. What a great self-deprecating segue!

So the first thing I think I’ve figured out is that I have **undiagnosed** (that’s important, I’m not trying to claim anything here, it just all makes too much sense to not be at least a possibility) ADHD. I remember wondering this in high school. I even remember telling my mom once that I thought I had it. She immediately offered to get me tested, and I refused, thinking there wasn’t really anything they could do to help me. I kinda want to go back and shake that girl now. What I didn’t realize then, and wouldn’t realize until just a few months ago, is that ADHD is SO MUCH MORE than just an inability to pay attention to things and being easily distracted. It messes with your entire life. Your productivity, your executive function (the part of your brain that tells you to start the thing you want to do), your relationships, your time-management skills, your hyperfixations that take over your entire life but only last for a finite period of time, your dopamine reception, all of it. That last one is especially important. If I’m correct, and I do have ADHD, it means that my brain doesn’t produce enough dopamine, so I am constantly looking for more. You know what gives an awesome, instant dopamine boost? Eating carbs and sugar. 

I think I’ve had this for a long time and I subconsciously learned from a young age, both from the midwestern food culture (celebrating? food! grieving? food! stressed? let’s get some food! bored? food!) telling me that any kind of emotion can be improved with food, and my sneaky little ADHD friend compounding the comfort/reward aspects of those food solutions, that food will make me feel good, no matter what else is going on. Throw in the fact that I’ve been slightly overweight my whole life, and while I was not actively bullied persay, I was passively bullied (by myself and others) enough that I was already insecure (it was called “shy” at that time) by the age of about 7. We’ll go into all of that later because it played more of a part than I originally gave it credit for. Anyway, ADHD has a lot of what are called co-morbid disorders, which are basically conditions that are likely to occur with an ADHD diagnosis. These can include depression, anxiety, OCD, oppositional defiant disorder, learning disabilities, executive function disabilities, aaaaand eating disorders, especially binge eating disorder. Binge eating disorder (BED) with anorexic and bulimic tendencies is what my current diagnosis is, I think. At least the BED part. What a coincidence.

Now, I’m not trying to say that my current weight is all due to my potentially existing ADHD. I clearly made some choices along the way to get here, but I have spent so many hours and sleepless nights wondering WHY I can’t just ‘eat healthier’ or stick to a diet and lose the weight. Why do I struggle so much with these things that other people are totally capable of? Having an explanation is such a comfort. Knowing that there’s a reason why this process is so hard for me, when it seems so easy for others keeps me from falling into depression and helplessness. Prior to talking with my therapist and my dietitian, I would sit and think about what it would take for me to be a healthier, fitter version of myself. I would picture myself years from now eating salads and veggies while my family ate pizza, like my mom use to do while she was on weight watchers. I would picture just wanting to take a lazy day but I needed to get my 4 mile run in first, and that future looked miserable. But the only way I had ever been successful at losing weight was by literally starving myself and pushing my body to the extreme with exercise, so clearly that was the only way to do it. I’m learning that this all or nothing thinking is deeply flawed, and honestly a big part of the reason I’ve been so unsuccessful in the past. Restriction (especially extreme restriction) is not sustainable, and studies have shown that it actually causes people to gain more weight back than they originally lost. Because diet culture is a huge money maker and they need a way to have repeat customers. Once you fall into the binge/restrict cycle, it is very difficult to get back out. That’s where I am now. 

Even though I want this thing so bad, and I have a path that’s going to be easier this time, I’m having trouble actually making the small changes I need to start with, because my body literally does not trust me anymore. Every time I eat a food I like, I have to eat as much as I possibly can, just in case this is the last time I’ll let myself have it for months. If I make a small change, eat a healthy snack, do a quick workout before work in the morning--the little voice in my head says, good, we’ve started, now don’t eat anything else the rest of the day so we can keep up our progress, and more often than not I listen. Moderation is not always easy when you’ve lived in these extremes your entire life. 

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think there are a lot of people who can identify with these same struggles, even if they haven’t recognized these issues in themselves yet. So I’ve decided to try to chronical this journey to healthier thought patterns, and see where that takes me physically. You always hear the stories of the successful people after they’ve been successful. Let’s get through the gritty part together. I’ve been in therapy about weight loss for almost 2 years now, and I’ve made some major shifts in my thought processes already, I still have a lot to do. If I can help even one other person escape this cycle, it will be worth it. 

I’m going to end today with an assignment my dietitian gave me, which is finding other reasons to fix my relationship with food other than weight loss. Some of these still have to do with losing weight, but don’t focus on a number on the scale. Hopefully I can check these off and more over the coming years!

1. I miss riding horses, but I don’t feel like I can fairly do it right now at the weight I am. 

2. On that same thread, there are a lot of activities I’d like to try that look like a lot of fun, but my weight holds me back both physically (weight limits) and mentally (fear of judging, looking stupid, failing and deciding it’s because of my size, associating a severely negative emotion with the activity and giving up interest in it before giving it a fair shot, etc.) Some of those things include, aerial silks, pole dancing (not stripping, but like, the exercise classes), kayaking, rock wall climbing, dancing, and a bunch more that I’ll think of later. I love doing outdoor activities, but I don’t because my weight makes me so uncomfortable. 

3. Losing the stress of going to an unfamiliar restaurant, and the judgement around ordering the same, bland thing every time. I have been chastised for being a picky eater my entire life, so I have a lot of stress around choosing foods in front of other people. This is also something that formed, unknowingly to me, at a young age. It results in an almost panic-like state of mind if the trip is sprung on me and I don’t have time to prepare (like the time I started my new job and another employee was assigned to take me to lunch, and almost chose a sushi restaurant before we realized we wouldn’t have time to get there and back. I don’t do sushi, I had no idea what to order, and I barely paid attention to the rest of my orientation that morning because I was panicking about lunch.), or, if I know it’s coming, I will binge on something I do like and that I know will keep me full before I go. Then I can order a small side salad or something, tell the person I’m with that I’m “just not that hungry today” and not have to worry about my stomach growls giving me away. This also spills over into places that I really like to go to. If I know we’re going to Old Chicago, for example, and I can easily put away one of their individual pizzas in one sitting, but I’m scared the people I’m with will judge me for that, I’ll binge before I go there too, so I can eat half of it, ask for a box, and finish the rest on the way home or later that night. It’s not healthy, and I didn’t even consciously realize I was doing it until a few months ago. 

4. Having a truly open mind about trying new things. I hate being so picky. Hate it. But textures and certain flavors activate my gag reflex and I cannot eat them. There are some foods that are ‘okay’, or “I’ll eat it, but I probably wouldn’t make it for myself.” but for the most part it’s I LOVE THIS SO MUCH (read: anything made of bread and cheese), or I HATE THIS SO MUCH I CANT EVEN SWALLOW IT. Because of those extremes, I don’t try a lot of new foods, because history shows I don’t like most things. When I do, I try to have an open mind, or try to look and sound like I have an open mind, but I’m already prepared to spit it out before I even take the fist bite. I want to more more foods into my “its okay” range, and maybe eventually form a “hey, this is pretty good” range. I want to be able to go to my boyfriend’s parents’ house and eat what his dad cooks (he’s always trying new recipes with a lot of different foods and spices. He takes great pride in his cooking, which he should, and I feel like I constantly offend him with my 6-year-old tastebuds. I avoid going over there if I know there’s going to be food because I’m so stressed about not hurting his feelings. 

5. I want to be able to have options about where to buy my clothes. Right now I’m limited to a few things at Walmart (which are sometimes super cute, but are usually very not cute), and Torrid which is always cute but sooooo expensive. I’d love to see a cute shirt in a store window or even online and think, hey, I should try that on! Instead of, “well that will never fit me.” 

6. I want to want vegetables. I want to be able to choose foods based on how they make my body feel instead of the taste. I want to crave a lunch that gives me energy to get through the rest of my day, instead of something that tastes delicious (hello giant bowl of ravioli), but leaves me in a carb crash and not wanting to do anything the rest of the day. I want to see my food as fuel.

7. I want to not feel so guilty about eating the things I do like! It isn’t so bad when I’m by myself (hence my continued secret eating), but even if I’ve been good (or put up a facade of being good) all week, if I’m the one who asks to order pizza or make pasta for dinner, I feel heavily judged. I do it to myself a bit as well, but especially if there are others, and especially if they know I’m trying to lose weight. 

8. I want to have kids one day (part 1). My doctor told me at my last appointment that she wants to see me get to around 200 lbs to give me the best shot at a healthy pregnancy. That’s not unreasonable, and I think she’s right. I’m in my 30s and my window to have kids will close sooner rather than later, so I want to get my body to a place where I can confidently make that choice when I’m ready.

9. I Want to have kids one day (part 2). I want to teach my kids to enjoy healthy foods so they don’t have to go through this same struggle. How am I suppose to expect them to try vegetables and healthier foods if I wont?

10. I want my life to stop being about food and weight all the time. It literally never leaves my mind. I want to be able to stop obsessing about it and just live and know that I can trust my body to make the right choices and maintain my optimum lifestyle without stressing and obsessing over food every single day.

I think that’s a start. I want to start diving into this more and doing more frequent entries so these aren’t all 10 pages long. I don’t have a great track record with that, but I want to try. I want to be able to look back on the work I put in while I celebrate reaching those 10 goals I just listed. I want to help other people reach their goals too without having to go through the mental anguish I’ve been experiencing for the last 20-something years. 

One day at a time, one meal at a time. I’ve got help, I’ve got goals, I’ve got time and ability. I’ve just got to do it.

[pandorra777]

Hi there! I really like your blog, and was wondering...I'm really new to Batman (super late I know lol) but would you be able to point me in any particular direction?? Like, where would be a good place to start, if I wanted to really learn about the storyline, characters, etc.? I'd really appreciate any help! Thanks!

Let me apologies for it took so long to answer this question. It’s mywork as I was very busy last days, but still. Sorry for that.

 Aaaaand to the topic.

Hello and I’m happy to welcome you on board of Batman fandom!

First of all, thank you so much for your warm words about my blog!

Second of all, it’s just the right time to be in Batman fandom, myfriend :)) Never too late for that.

Moreover, there are a lot of interesting events are happening in Batmancanon and fandom during these years. So welcome, feel comfortable and enjoy yourself!

As for your question, it’s quite funny. I am writing a long and largearticle for my other blog and the topic of it is just the same: Where to beginif you are a newcomer to Batman canon? Some of my friends were asking the samequestion the other days and it made me think of the right answer. As for me, Ieven do not remember my 1st Batman comic book, it was so long time ago. But itwas Arkhamverse and Arkham games series (4 of them) that gave me the secondbreath for my love. And let me recommend you all these awesome games (yeah, I’mhuge fan and can’t shut up about Arkhamverse). Even if you do not play, thereis an opportunity to watch videos and movies on youtube.

I don’t think of myself as of the best person to give advise, but I am readyto share my list of comic books and animated movies for the starter. Hope itwill help you and my choice won’t be the wrong one.

Also as I do not know your preferences (most favorite characters,topics, your OTPs, etc.), I tried to include more general books. Please, feelfree to ask specific questions.

As I do not know what you’ve already read or are planning to read, my listmay contain obvious things, sorry for that.

And to other amazing people out there in the fandom – please, feel freeto add and share you variants if you like.

Of course, there are some classical stories, which everybody advises toeverybody because they are “must read” ones.

Batman: Year One by Frank Miller - I recommend this thing with caution, because Miller is a specific writerand not all of Batman fans love him. But it’s a good story about the firstBruce’s steps as Batman, about his acquaintance with James Gordon and Selina.Practically every modern DC writer bases his version of Batman character onMiller’s.

And of course I highly recommend to pay attention to the very firstBatman stories of 1940s (Batman, issue 1, etc.) written by Bill Finger and BobKane himself. They are still fun to read.

Batman: The Long Halloween - One more must read and fan-favorite. This story is so to sayencyclopedia of the most famous Batman villains - a new villain each issue. Italso presents Harvey Dent as Two-Face. Plus noir and very interesting detectivestory. And it refers to the first Batman years again, still no Robin or JusticeLeague. Thought I doubt Batman’s character in this one, it’s not “my” Batman, Istill put it here for you to read and make your own opinion.

Batman: Strange Apparitions - A good collection of significant Batman stories from 70s in one place.Each of them is a classic.

Batman: Detective - One more good collection of Batman stories. I highly recommend itbecause they have very canonical Batman (imo, of course, but still) and agallery of famous villains.

Batman: The Man Who Laughs - In fact, it’s the story from Batman #1, rewritten in a new and fresh waywith some changes to the characters. The first meeting with the Joker, noRobin, etc.

Batman: A Death in the Family - Iconic story about Batman and the role of Robins in his life. The storywhich strongly effects Batman and all the batfam, has serious consequences andstars several new stories and titles including Red Hood And The Outlaws yearslater.

Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk - One more amazing story to know the Dark Knight better. Maybe it’snothing special, but here Bruce is shown as an intelligent, understanding,sympathetic hero who can solve the problem with the help of his resourcefulnessand proper analysis of the opponent. This is the hero who saves and not a herowho clenches his teeth and beats the shit out of an enemy, as in some of therecent issues. I miss such Bruce in comics.

Batman: Son of the Demon - I put it in here because of the very good story about Bruce and Talia alGhul, and this woman was important for Bruce once. Also she is mother of hisonly child. And in this story they are allies not enemies. And it’s a good storyto look at Ra’s Al Ghul, one of Batman’s enemies.

Batman: The Killing Joke - And one more iconic story here. Definitely must read.

Batman: Under The Red Hood - This book continues A Death in the Family to some extend. Jason Toddreturns to Gotham to deal with Bruce and Joker once and for all.

Batman Confidential - Good series, you can find amazing stories there.

Also Batman canon has other amazing, thrilling and interesting stories,but it’s better to read them later, not to start with them: No Man’s Land,Grant Morrison’s series: Batman and Son - Batman The Black Glove - BatmanR.I.P., A Serious House on Serious Earth, Batman: Europa to name a few.

Not only comics can help to know Batman. For example, I love to watchBatman The Animated Series, some episodes are just pure gold and based oncomics. And we have very good BTAS related comics as well: The Batman Adventures, Batman: Gotham Adventures, Batman Adventures(2003)

Batman animated movies seem interesting too.

Hope it’ll help. And thanks for the question, it made me remember somestories I definitely want to reread now.

[tricks-up-my-sleeve]

For the Munday post! I hope I'm allowed three, sorry ^^' : ✍ ♡ ♫

((Don’t apologize!! I love the enthusiasm lol for future reference send as many as you want. Send the whole damn post. I probably won’t even flinch tbh.

✍ – what are some odd things that give you writing inspiration? any quirks?

((Honestly, I’m not sure if I have anything too out of the ordinary. Like, I’m assuming, everyone else, other media I’m into can inspire me, or events that happen in real life, whether they be small and insignificant silly things that I see that happen to remind me of the muse or just like.. big things that are kinda always there that I’ve always took inspiration from.

I don’t really think I have any quirks per say, but my favorite thing is when I get to use a lot of detail and I feel like it doesn’t suck. Lol.))

♡ – mention another mun that you care about a lot. why do you like them?

((Okay I refuse to pick just one. I’m really bad about expressing e m o t i o n s towards other people which is why I sort of tentatively stay away from the positivity posts - which I should stop doing. Bc I love so many people here gfdhkjkld; i’m also terrified i’m gonna forget someone so i’m just gonna do.. five people i’ve had conversations with very recently? yeah?? i really do want to tag all of my mutuals, though I CARE ABOUT ALL OF YOU SOOO MUCH.))

((@discordant-cacophony / @bristled-feathers k not only do I have fun interactions with both of Blue’s horse show muses but I swear, he just makes me laugh an ungodly amount and when he’s not being an ASSHOLE TO ME he’s actually kinda one of the best. vry nice. pls shower him with love thx. i always get genuinely excited to see him around bc blue’s the absolute memelord.))

((@gearsandwrxnches / @ilikekxtes - really just enjoy talking to fix about anything tbh not only does it usually end in hilarity but it’s just nice lol. also anyone who sees Dislestia art or smthn and decides to send it my way is highly appreciated because it’s the most thoughtful shit to me. ALSO rly love screaming about Starlight and Trixie and headcanons and what not bc what good horsies, together or not.))

((@madamenxgative / i’m not putting all of your blogs here fuck you - cam is super rad and super creative and I love it. also very fun to talk to. really impressed with the sheer amount of fucking blogs he has since they’re all quality but also concerned. we surprisingly haven’t had tHAT much interaction here since a lot of it has been on the discord servers and we’re both fucking bad with replies as discussed many times but i’m not gonna complain i am so there for the aria/trixie shenanigans.))

((@mylittlecuriosityrp - SPEAKING OF PEOPLE with a lot of blogs and muses but somehow nails all of them. lol. Ace is a funny sweetheart ok and whenever I get a chance to partake in a conversation with her it’s always rly nice. she deserves good things. you probably know that already tho but just a refresher. also thx for the trixie emoji. again.))

((@theprincessandhxrpupil - aaaaand Asxcala! also a complete sweetheart! fhgjkl; quite possibly one of the first few people I remember IMing on here and thankfully being like.. almost instantly comfortable talking to. because anxiety is a huge issue for me pfff;; but I’m so glad! again love screaming about Star and Trix with her and she makes masterpieces like this so.. yeah. I appreciate them very much. some of my favorite threads and conversations are with them. also nails like all the muses I’ve seen her write. so jealous of all of my friends here. wow.))

((agaIN I WANTED TO TAG EVERY MUTUAL EVER BUUUT YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL WE’D BE HERE ALL DAY. I’LL REBLOG A POSITIVITY MEME SOMETIME SOON TO MAKE UP FOR IT.))

♫ – any songs you’d like to share that help inspire your writing? 

((hmm… nothing in particular, honestly. I have a bunch of ship mixes for Trixie ships though. even have some collaborative ones with Cam. lol. if anyone wants links to those let me know since I’ve posted the Twixie/Trixcord/Startrix ones before, but music inspires me too much so I don’t think I can link just one or two songs. I listen to too much.))

[unxpctedlygreat]

I got tagged by @accidentalyandere​ and technically speaking @3skylanddancer​ since I don’t do tag things on the snapkyuu blog :’)

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better Relationship Status: Single and in a constant loop “I want a relationship- wait no I don’t want want one”, knowing I’m most likely lithromantic it doesn’t help ♥ Lipstick or Chapstick: I don’t really put either one on because my lips are always chapped and chapstick never does shit to prevent it Last song/music I listened to: Ballad of the Goddess / Ghirahim's Theme (TLOZ Skyward Sword) - Super Smash Bros. Wii U Top 3 shows: Haikyuu!!, FMA:B aaaaand The Librarians, though I haven’t seen all of it yet Top 3 characters: Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama Tobio and Iwaizumi Hajime (all from Haikyuu because why not) Top 3 ships: Kuroo/Daichi, Tsukki/Kags and idk man, I ship a lot of things and recently I haven’t had strong feelings about any ships so???

Tagging (the same as usual bc I don’t remember who to tag anyway lmao) @whiskerin, @lakkiboi, @weirdlywisely, @tapa-nyan, @ma-je-s-capharnaum, @meowable-chan, @notsuchasecret, @ezzydean and whoever wanna do this

[idolapps]

OOC INFO

NAME/ALIAS, PRONOUNS, TIMEZONE:

Crissy // She/Her // PST.

RESERVATION: 

N/A!

MEMBER PROFILE

FACECLAIM: 

Lee Hyunwoo, my smol son.

NAME/STAGENAME: 

Han Kiseok and he doesn’t have a stage name unless you want to count the p l e t h o r a of things that idols, managers, facility members and higher ups call him while him while he’s running their errands, in the which case we have:

“Bambi”

“Kiki’s Delivery Service

“You clumsy, incompetent fool”

“Idiot Chicken Boy”

“Kibum”

“EXO’s Minseok” ( does anyone actually know his name? )

“Why did we hire you anyways?”

aaaaand my personal favorite:

“YA!!!!!! YOU!!!!!! WHERE IS MY COFFEE HUH??!!!죽을래 !!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!”  !!!!!（╬ಠ益ಠ) !!!!!

BIRTHDATE/AGE: 

Nineteen years old. July 8th. Cancer.

COMPANY/POSITION:

Intern for Crystal Entertainment.

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 

N/A. Baby boy is not relevant enough for dis, smh.

TRAINING PERIOD/JOINING YEAR: 

I’m not even sure if this is relevant, but if it means anything, Kiseok’s probably been with the company for a few months or something? Half a year?

INTERESTING FACTS: 

//cracks knuckles (none of this is even important, but i thought it would be fun?)

He is the admin of several KPOP fan blogs on tumblr.

I’m pretty sure he broke his leg singing into some shampoo and trying to replicate Sweetheart’s choreo in the shower. RIP.

Kiseok’s very allergic to cats, but he saw this cat on the street and fed it and it wouldn’t stop following him, so he took it in. Her name is Pepero and he’s always sneezing and dying because of her but he can’t get rid of her because he’s soft.

He does not know how to drive and bikes to work everyday.

He lives with this super ornery old woman who runs a dress shop. He ran into her shop when he was fifteen trying to hide from these bullying punks who were trying to beat him up, but once he ran in there a few more times and she realized his home was so broken one could hardly call it a home at all, she took him in. She says she only likes him because he does her taxes, but she adores him … her mahjong buddies tell him everything.

Super bi, but honestly can only stutter his way through half a sentence before the words collapse on his tongue and he gets too flustered so, really, what’s it matter?

It’s really funny if you get him drunk because he’s super shy, but he’s also a lightweight and a really wild drunk. Don’t do it. ( Do it and videotape it. )

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: 

STRENGTHS:

He has a really high IQ. His mind pretty much works like a racehorse even though his mouth stutters almost every word he’s ever said. Kiseok has maintained remarkable grades throughout the entirety of his academic career and has been called Google/Jeopardy because he is full of intellectual but useless information.

He is a notoriously quick learner because of this high intellect? Picked up a lot of the choreo for the trainees and the idol groups while he looks on and knows pretty much everyone’s names and stats???

I don’t even know if this counts, but he’s really, really kind? Like he genuinely cares a lot about everyone and is always willing to help people. He’s really sweet and lovely even though he is 100% nervous and awkward all the time. Basically he will go very far out of his way to help people.

REALLY GOOD DANCER!!!!! Singing is quite pleasant too, to tell you the truth, but really he is a very gifted dancer, like, if you saw him you’d be pretty impressed. Dancing is the only thing that makes him feel better and he’s looked up to idol groups like the ones in CE all his life and longs to be apart of them very clandestinely…but alas.

WEAKNESSES:

Kiseok has chronic social anxiety that developed from how poorly treated he’s been basically his whole life. It leaves him, at times, breathless and stupid, but he tries his best? 

Very, very shy as a result and prone to panic attacks. :(. He has a hard time talking to people and nervously rambles and stumbles his way through conversations. I can’t even imagine someone trying to hit on him, he’d die. 

Having that little faith in his abilities and being that freaked out of the times means that he had to throw away his lifelong dream of being an idol because he can’t dance or sing in front of people and so he joined CE as an intern just to be close to thing he loves. :(((((

HUGE PUSHOVER. He’s scared of disappointing people or them being sad so he’ll do anything you ask him to. It’s also his job as an intern to accommodate people, but he does have to do a lot of not so cool and strenuous stuff behind the scenes that you won’t hear him complain once about even if it’s killing him a little.

BIO/PERSONALITY:

THE FIRST LESSON YOU EVER LEARNED WAS TO HATE YOURSELF.

You were born too early, but for your mother it was too l a t e. The smell of death hung limply in the air: whodunnit? Fate in the hospital with a premature baby and case of internal bleeding gone awry. She looked like the crime scene but played the victim, leaving you as the murder weapon. 

Surprise: Y o u dunnit.

 Like the jaws of life, two hands bravely descended into the carnage and like Moses parted the vast, impossible sea of red, plucking you out and polishing your soiled body like silverware ( as if somehow cleansing your body would in turn, cleanse your s o u l . ) When they were finished, they put you in a blanket and her in a body bag. 

CRAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

You were too young to properly recall the the itty bitty gritty details…

…But no matter:  while you might not remember,  ( your father never forgot. )

…

THE ALCOHOL MADE THE PAIN BETTER, BUT HIS TEMPER WORSE.

You spent your childhood in f e a r, towered over, dominated, quivering, shivering, dodging acid words, punches, bottles…but you weren’t fast, you weren’t reactive, you wheezed and sneezed, broken before he could even lay a finger on you. And from your miserable existence in that ramshackle house, there was only one escape —

 …

YOU CALLED THEMSELVES I D O L S BECAUSE THEY WERE YOURS.

From this unforgiving reality, you only escape were these big stars that graced your tiny screen each day and you watched them like religion, You admired the way that they carried themselves; heads held high, moves exquisite, perfect, confident words always poised on their lips and after years of feeling like a lost puzzle piece, you finally found somewhere to b e l o n g. When you danced, everything was okay. Music soothed you like medicine and created a feeling that made you feel, for once, i n v i n c i b l e. Just like that you were hooked, just like that you knew

….You always knew someday you were going to be a [ k p o p s t a r ],

( “You think that Crystal Entertainment would hire someone like you? You're nothing, Dancer Boy. You're worthless. You're a l o s e r! And the CE doesn't hire losers.” ) 

BUT FIRST YOU WOULD BE A  [ L A U G H I N G S T O C K ] 

…

You soon found that school was no better than home. The kids in your class were viciously cruel and the bullying they administered left your heart and outsides black and blue. Up and down the uneven streets, they chased your cottontail as you ran huffing and puffing and crying and clutching your collapsing chest like a lifeline. They were right in a way. Rock beat scissors but anxiety beat e v e r y t h i n g. You were too nervous, too timid and could barely utter a few generous sentences before they collapsed on your tongue like forgotten civilizations. 

BUT WHERE YOUR LIPS WERE WEAK YOUR MIND WAS STRONG

…

You were always good in school — great, even. You skipped grades and your dad never cared, other people’s father’s handing you prestigious awards on stage. Your mind worked overtime and retained information like a sponge, arranging it in intricate and complex formations that dropped jaws and astounded people. They called you “nerd,”, “dork”, “geek”, “f r e a k” but now they would have to call you Han Kiseok, Staff Member of Crystal Entertainment. 

YOU WISHED YOU COULD SEE THOSE BOYS HORRIBLE FACES NOW.

…

It wasn’t ideal. You still looked at the CE entertainers with shiny, glossy, fanatical eyes, worshipping them like gods, but you were happy — blessed to just be their Ariel and a part of their world. So while they went out on stage, singing and dancing, you helped make everything work behind the scenes, oversized lanyard, talking too fast, tripping over your words, fetching pastries and turning out paperwork like t r i c k s

— because in this world there are two kinds of people:

Important People™

and people who get those Important People™ C O F F E E.