#queen is one letter off from the word queer. you ever think of that.

[uncanny-tranny]

Me listening to Queen: Man, no wonder so many people are queer nowadays

[villainess-supremacy]

headcanons of the four lords celebrating pride for the first time with their s/o

notes: you told them that it's pride month and asked if they would like to celebrate with you. none of them have ever celebrated pride before. I made the lords and s/o queer because I can

type: sfw, gender and sexuality of the s/o are not specified

tw/cw: slight mention of alcohol, blood, lgbtphobes

requests: open

Alcina Dimitrescu

her daughters have mentioned pride month before, but she's not sure what it entails exactly

you gladly explain it to her in detail!

she loves the idea since she is fruity herself loves celebrating for such a wonderful reason

you being part of it makes it so much better

and a whole month?? she's in

she would love to go to pride events with you, but she's afraid other mortals will be scared of her due to her height so you decide to just have your own celebrations in the castle

you love watching movies together so you show her all of your favorite queer movies and shows

you bought a pride flag to hang up below the balcony in the entrance hall

she loves the smile on your face when you proudly look up at it

"maybe we should extend pride to be all year if it makes you this happy, my love."

she already regularly gives you presents, but during the entirety of pride month she additionally leaves little gifts for you in your shared bedroom, the kitchen and all of your favorite places in the castle

and that daily

if there is any queer owned shop you like she will literally buy their entire stock

if there are any charities you mention she will gladly donate in your name and give you the certificate as a surprise

she realizes that something about June just makes her want you even more in general, in the private chambers, whichever is up to you wink wink

as a surprise she decides to make a special wine without blood of course named after you and your sexuality/gender if you use labels, but in fancy Latin words

she loves to drink, but of course watches over you so you don't have too much

mortals don't process it as well as she does...

if you come across any lgbtphobes and are noticeably saddened she will be there to distract you right away

everyone who dares to make her love sad will feel her wrath! be ignored since they're not worth her time

but if she finds out that anyone in the village doesn't support you or anyone who is part of the lgbt community, they will be forced asked to vacate their home

she will pamper you and shower you with her love even more

you once jokingly say "be gay do crime and turn maidens into wine" and she makes it her new motto but she's serious about it

Donna Beneviento

she knows a couple things about pride since she reads a lot, but you're so excited to tell her about it she simply lets you talk

you'd love to go to pride events with her but she's too shy and tends to have anxiety attacks when around too many strangers so she sends Angie instead

afterwards she will gladly listen to both of you tell her all about it!

she has her own collection of books that have queer characters in them which she never told anyone about before you and will read all of them with you if you like

there will be regular dates picnics while Angie takes care of the house

she's a cottage core sapphic and pride month brings out that side of her more

she has made dolls for you before, but this time she makes one that looks just like you

it has a pride flag embroidered on the top above the heart

of course you love it!

you're so glad that she accepts every part of you

she will make one of herself with a similar outfit and a small pride flag as well so she can set them up in couple settings

ever since she found out about online shopping it has opened up a whole new world for her so she will definitely get both of you matching outfits or jewelry from an lgbt owned shop

you love doing arts and crafts together so you suggest making bracelets for each other, either color coded or with letters

Donna's house has a flagpole she hasn't used in decades, but for you she'd gladly call for maintenance if it turns out it's unusable after all these years to hang a pride flag

anything to make you happy!

if there are any lgbtphobes bothering you or your friends, she will be right there to comfort you and won't hesitate to send Angie and her other dolls she can control to deal with them

even if you tell her that it's fine and she should just ignore them she's great at distracting you so you wouldn't notice until it's done oops-

since she has no portable device that can access music streaming platforms, but knows the password to your phone she decides to steal it for a bit and makes you the softest playlist that you since then often play for comfort

Salvatore Moreau

he has spent decades almost completely separated from humans so he has no idea what pride month means, but instantly agrees to it because he loves you so much

he will agree to anything that makes you happy

you both sit down and he looks at you with puppy eyes while you tell him all about pride

he loves the idea of celebrating a group of people you both are a part of

he thinks you deserve your own month to be cherished and celebrated!

he may be a little awkward with expressing his feelings, but he sure knows how to prepare a romantic dinner

with mother miranda needing all of the lords a lot to assist her, he usually barely has time to prep food, but for pride month he does his best to cook for you every single day

part of his usual outfit is a cape to cover his back and a type of crown made out of bones and rope

he's not the best with his hands, but he makes a crown for you that resembles his anyway because you're his queen/king/majesty

you love it so much!

you want to give him something in return so you go to the village and visit the shop you know is lgbt owned and get him a custom necklace with a fish pendant that has your initials engraved

he literally bursts out in tears because he is so touched :c

when you started dating he initially was scared of what you would think about his giant fish form, but you turned out to be really impressed and love it and since you'd be tiny compared to him he suggests taking you on an adventure of sorts

meaning you sit on his back while he swims around the lake which is like a roller coaster ride but more wet

he leads you to a hut you never visited before and he shows you treasures he has collected when he was still mortal

he starts making a list of things you could do and stays up all night to complete it but ends up with so many activities and ideas to celebrate pride you'll have to extend pride month... by possibly years....

if he hears about anyone being mean to you he'll just encase them into the blobs of gooey mass he can make but you don't need to know about that, pride month or not

he has always wanted to propose to you so he might be able to work up the courage to hint at it by the end of June

Karl Heisenberg

of course he knows about pride month!

he knows more than you might think

he isn't considered the rebel child for no reason

in the past he has done some celebration for himself, but it was never anything too special

he thinks it's no fun alone and his experiments servants aren't much fun

sure he could program them, but unless it's to attack something they're not really... party animals

since he has you now he'll gladly give it another go!

he'd love to go to pride events with you, especially if you go to drag shows

he didn't know about them before you made him go to one

something about them fascinates him so much, he's more excited than you

he's not really into cooking, but nothing will stop him from making you a nice breakfast in bed

you always love watching him work on his machines because he likes to take off his shirt when he's hot seeing him do what he loves makes you happy

so he decides to gift you some robots to assist you with your everyday endeavors

it's not really necessary but of course you appreciate the gesture

it means more time to spend with him after all

he once sees you with a keychain that has a pride flag on it so he paints it on one of his machines that he uses more often

mostly he will end the day by having a drink and dancing with you

it's a celebration, so celebrate he will

if you're more in the mood for chilling on the couch he won't say no to watching some queer shows or movies

after working on his machines he has a way of just melting into your arms

if he sees you smile at certain scenes in movies he might attempt to do the same with you

of course you notice, but you definitely can't complain especially if you smile on purpose at the spicier scenes

anyone who will come between you and happily celebrating pride will be visited by Sturm banned from his factory and getting anywhere near you

he likes to name his subjects so he will start naming them after all of your favorite queer historical figures, activists and famous people in general

any smile he can get out of you is a win

a win for the gays you might say

when he was younger he may have had a phase of spraying graffiti around the village so you're not surprised when he goes around his factory and writes "be gay do crime" on several of his machines and doors

[antarestyl]

Got not tagged but saw this meme and wanted to do it :D

I tag @namekian-maoh and whoever else wanna try!

How many works do you have on AO3?

56 so far.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

600021 at this moment... damnit, I like nice and round numbers more XD

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

29 XD well, some are crossover and some are almost-the-same (especially with Video games where I often take multiple entires in a series into account and tag them accordingly)

As for my fandoms:

Video games: Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Among Us, Bowser's Fury, Deltarune, Don't Starve, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Final Fantasy XV, Luigi's Mansion, Mario & Luigi RPG, Monkey Island, Pikmin, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Odyssey, Super Paper Mario, Undertale, (+ AU of Undertale)

Comic/Cartoon/Manga/Anime: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh! (All Media Types), Homestuck, Gravity Falls, DCU (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics),  Blue Beetle (Comics)

Books/Movies/Divers: Harry Potter, Mystery Skulls Animated, Olsen-banden | The Olsen Gang (Movies), Ties of Lapis (Skyrim-AU),

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. PTA Sans and other glorious things       

73016 words, 3192 Kudos, so far my most successful work XD It’s still ongoing. Undertale Fanfic, Monster-on-the-Surface, True Pacifist Ending, PTA AU, SansxToriel in the Background, everybody is here, mostly happy, silly and only a small dose of angst from time to time. Later chapters with more story.

2. TrioBlasterSets AU - Six puppys and 3 flames                 

270813 word, 758 Kudos. I write this AU together with @namekian-maoh . Still ongoing. Undertale Baby-Blaster AU with some Underfell and Underswap thrown into it. Dadby, Badster, mostly family fluff and dealing with the experiment!gaster-blaster Background of 3 skeleton children. Also 3 flames who take care of them that have way more drama going on themselves than nessessary. Chapters are not in chronological order. Has a few Spin-offs too (including some NSFW oneshorts about the flames and their relationship ;) )

3. So I won't regret another day 

19214 words, 320 Kudos. Undertale Underfell AU, Underfell Sansby with some healthy relationships, the planning of a revolt against an insane king, monster still being monster and not really made for violence in an violent setting. If officially finished but I write new chapters when the fancy strikes me.

4. Grillby's                 

9894 words, 265 Kudos. Deltarune/Undertale fanfic with a Spin, named Plushyrune (aka Deltarune where eveything is the same, just with Sansby and Sans makes plushies). Started as just pure silly fluff, kinda got a plot now about the kids of Deltarune. Still ongoing, new chapter is 80% done ;)

5. Something old, something new... 

6579 words, 208 Kudos. Pure Post-Pacifist Surface Sansby fluff. Mostly from Grillby’s POV how they fall in love and be silly and in love. Still ongoing, haven’t really had to mojo to write more for it lately, but I WILL return at some point.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! I used to not comment on comments because I had this irrational feeling of “cheating the numbers” if I reply to comments but... screw that, I want to interact with people! So I try to answer any and all comments now :)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ufff, for me it’s a tie between The last chip  and Laughter in the Darkness. The Last Chip is a Yu-gi-Oh! Fanfic in a series of Kaiba spiraling downwards after the Manga/Anime ended and sets up the events of Dark Site of Dimensions. It ends pretty much with Kaiba ending up getting borderline suicidal in his Obsession with the Pharaoh.

Laughter in the Darkness is the Epilog I wrote for my Gravity Falls x Amnesia Crossover where Ford is pretty much an Amnesia-Protagonist and archives the very worst ending for himself. Mind the tags if you read this. It ends with Ford at the lowest possible point for himself and its open ended if he is going fully insane or if Bill Chiper really is still around. (and it’s not clear what outcome is the better one)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, not really. I am a chill writer in my own little corners of the fandom and most people leave me alone. I did get one “But Queer is a SLUR” comment way back in the day where it was still all “????” to say that out loud. But otherwise? Nah. I am not important enough for hate, lol.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have XD Not much thou. I wrote so far an mastubation scene with the one going down on himself heavily NOT BEING ALRIGHT while doing so XD Other than that I have 2 NSFW Undertale fics with some hot flame-on-flame action. I do like writing not-standard-sex (as in Sex that doesn’t requite human genitila) Otherwise I like to hint or describe feelings more than the act itself. More lime than lemon ;)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. As I said, I am not important enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had some ppl asking for permission to translate (which of course) but as far as I know there are no translations out there as of yet.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah, I am writing the TrioBlasterSet AU with @namekian-maoh I did Co-write some fics way back during my fanfiction.de time too but that’s a long time ago.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I ship a lot and am a dirty multishipper XD I have to many ships to really call one out as my favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

TrioBlasterSets AU because there is always MORE to tell with this AU XD

What are your writing strengths?

I am the Queen of Worldbuilding and Crossovers baby!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Only do it if you have a REALLY good reason for it AND if you have a good gasp on the language. Like, nothing takes me out of a fic faster than reading stuff in horrible German written by people who were to lazy to just copy/paste the word from google translate (my time in the Apollo Justice fandom has seriously scared me. It’s Fräulein, not Fraulein or Fraülein! Also you can’t just swap ei and ie around THOSE ARE DIFFERENT SOUNDS! als we have the letter ß it’s a shap s sound you can’t just use/not use it as you please!)

Also in 90% of all cases it’s just not nessessary. Write what you wanna write, TELL us it was said in a different language OR let the POV character just tell us their hear something said in an other language they couldn’t understand.

What I want to say is: Have some respect of the language you want to use!

-

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

I THINK it was Harry Potter? IDK I wrote a cringy Star Trek Parodie when I was like 14 or so and those OCs went through a lot from that time on forward but Idk if that even counts XD

-

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

The Game of Our Life It’s a series of Mario x Homestuck Fics I wrote before Undertale came along and swept me away XD I love all my fics of course but this one was the first really big one I finished on english and it was the one I am most proud of of the world-building. It has angst, it has lore, my writing style was just really developing there and I am just proud of it. (Also it’s very self-indulging so yeah XD love it a LOT)

[cadence-talle]

Rain Against A Window (Chapter Four)

Pairing: Fitz Vacker/Dex Dizznee, Eventual Biana Vacker/Sophie Foster

Wordcount: 1,955

Summary: In which Juline Dizznee finds a child, our scam team gets closer to Paris, and the city of Petersburg lights up. 

Other notes: This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Taglist: @everyonehasthoughts, @clearlykeefitz, @loverofallthingssmart, @a-lonely-tatertot, @enbies-and-felonies, @molly-sencen, @lemontarto, @appalyneinstitute1, @ruewen-and-rising, @silver-snow, @linhamon-roll, @hyperlollypop, @never-ever-too-many-fandoms, @keeper-of-the-lost-queers, @impostertamsong, @vibing-in-the-void, @yeetersofthelostcities, @mistythegirlfluxmess

Read it on ao3 or under the cut! 

St Petersburg, Russia. October 13, 1917. 

Juline stumbles out of the collapsing stables, letting go of the horse she’s holding. It gallops off through the streets and she groans; it’s never going to come back.

Not that it matters, really. No one’s going to have any need for horses now. 

She’s not sure how long it’s been since the first gunshots were fired. Six or seven hours, probably. Juline is just lucky she wasn’t caught in the crossfire and had enough time to get all the horses out. 

A small wail echoes across the crumbling land, and Juline’s head snaps up. She knows that sound; she’s been listening to a kid cry for going on five years now. 

Sure enough, there’s a girl sitting in the rubble, knees curled up to her chest and cheeks wet with tears. She looks about four or five; just a bit younger than Dex, if Juline is right. Her heart twists and she holds out a hand to the child. 

“Hey,” Juline says softly. “What happened to you?”

“I- I don’t know,” the girl says, teal eyes filling with tears again. Juline looks her over and something heavy drops in her gut- this is most definitely Princess Bianca. “I hit my head, and I feel sick, but I don’t know why.” She looks up at Juline. “Why?”

“There was an accident,” Juline says, taking the girl’s tiny hand in hers. “You must have gotten hurt.”

“Oh. Are you my mom?”

Juline blinks. Then blinks again. She’s almost positive that Queen Della is dead; there’s no one still alive to take care of this girl. 

Exhaling, she makes a decision. 

“No, sweetie. But I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl says. “That sounds good.”

And so the Dizznees gain another child- Biana, she’s called. Juline worries sometimes that it’s too close to Bianca, but it was a name Bi herself chose and Juline isn’t cruel enough to take it away. 

Besides, who would look for the last remaining member of the Vacker family in the poorest parts of St Petersburg? These streets are cesspits, filled with violence and alcohol and…

Sickness. 

Juline isn’t dying, not yet. But she will be. She’s seen what this sickness can do, watched her own husband waste to nothing in front of her. And it’s only a matter of time- there’s no way they can afford the medicine. 

Still, as she sits in her bed and forces herself to open her eyes again, she’s comforted. Because Biana is still out there, still free, still alive. 

And no one can ever know. 

-/-

St Petersburg, Russia. February 27, 1927. 

“And then he just… let me go.” Fitz finishes. “I don’t know why. I was sure I was going to get arrested or something.”

“Huh.” Biana frowns, tapping the arm of her chair. “That’s weird. They’ve been cracking down on a lot of scam teams lately- throwing them in jail or worse. I’m glad you got out, but that’s weird.”

“What should we do?”

Biana shakes her head. “Nothing. Hiding somewhere else would be useless. We’re almost ready to leave. All Dex needs to do is forge our train passes and we’re good.” She turns behind her, to where Dex is furiously scribbling on a yellowed sheet of paper. “Speaking of which, are you heading down to the printer’s today?”

“Yeah.” Dex says, not looking up. Biana raises an eyebrow. 

“Okay then. I’m gonna go to the market, see if there’s any food on sale. Fitz, why don’t you go with Dex?”

“Me? Why would I-” Fitz starts. He’s not sure why he’s so opposed to that idea; Dex hasn’t been so much as rude to him since that very first day. Still, there’s something clenching his gut that makes him want to run. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone. Not after yesterday.”

“Right,” Fitz nods. “Of course.”

Dex stands up, folding the letter he was writing into an envelope and putting a stamp in the corner. “Okay, let’s go. I want to mail this on the way there.”

“Have fun!” Biana calls as they step into the late-morning light. 

-/-

Dear Mom, 

How are you? How are the triplets? I hope it’s not too cold out there; I know Rex was trying to learn how to knit, but knowing him, that won’t go well.

Things are all right over here. Bi and I have food, and we think we found a way to make a lot of money. Maybe even enough to finally get you out of debt so we can all live together again. 

Petersburg is… tense, right now. Like everything is holding its breath in anticipation. There’s a rumor that Prince Fitzroy and Princess Bianca survived, so all the officers have been on high alert. We’re okay, though.

And we made a friend! He’s nice- kind of confused, but nice. And he’s super pretty 

(Please pretend I didn’t write that.)

I miss you. The city’s not the same without you here to fill up every small hideaway we get with laughter and music. Bi and I are trying, though. We’ll get through this.

See you soon. 

Love, Dex. 

-/-

“Okay,” Dex says as they exit the printer’s, a stack of paper clutched in one hand. The sky is beginning to darken, rays of pink and orange spreading across like paint on a canvas. Fitz is surprised it took so long; he’d always thought of printing as something fast and easy, but there are all these parts. And the travel passes aren’t even done- Dex still needs to forge the signatures on them. “We should get back. Biana will be-”

He trails off, looking at something over Fitz’s shoulder. Fitz spins around to see three uniformed men moving down the street toward them. He swallows and starts to back away. 

“Hey! You!” One of the men calls. “It’s almost curfew! What are you doing out?”

“Uh.” Fitz says. Dex grabs his arm and pulls him into the alley to the side of the building, hurrying them both up a fire escape. 

“Go, go, go,” he says through gritted teeth once they’re on the roof, running along the shingles with a grace Fitz is positive he can’t replicate. “What are you waiting for? Come on!”

They leap between houses and swing around water towers as the sun sets, lights in windows popping up like stars. Finally, Dex comes to a stop on top of a building on a particularly large hill. 

“I think we lost them,” he says, looking back at Fitz. “What?”

“I’ve never seen it this high up before,” Fitz whispers. From where they stand, the whole city’s spread out underneath them like a glittering map. Each lamp in each home is a shining jewel, calling to him. “It’s beautiful.”

Dex snorts, sitting near the edge of the roof and staring at the lights below. “Trust me, it’s a lot less pretty when you grow up down there.”

“I didn’t say pretty. I said beautiful.”

“Okay, your majesty, what’s the difference, then?”

“Pretty is surface level. It’s looking at someone and thinking ‘oh, they’re attractive.’ Beautiful is… more than that. It’s watching someone live and listening to them talk and seeing all their faults but still loving them. If something’s beautiful, that doesn’t mean it’s perfect- it’s just messed up in a beautiful way.”

“Oh.” Dex is quiet for a moment, the two looking at the city lights. Fitz feels an overwhelming urge to take back his words. 

“I don’t actually know the city very well,” he says. “I’ve lived here for a few years, but it’s mostly just… work, sleep, repeat. Nothing like-” he waves a hand at the scene in front of them- “nothing like this.”

Dex sighs, leaning back on his hands. “Petersburg is this odd mix of amazing and dangerous, and most things here walk that line very closely. So when you grow up on the streets…” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words. “It’s hard to make an honest living. And much, much easier to get drawn into things that aren’t exactly sanitary.” 

“That’s why you’re so good at forging stuff,” Fitz responds. “Right? And why Biana is so persuasive. You guys do this a lot.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we do.” Dex sighs. “Our mom never wanted us to be scammers. She used to work in the palace stables, but when the tsar was killed…” he mimes an explosion. “That whole line of business kind of blew up. She and Dad did their best, and we managed to stay afloat for a while, but-” he bites his lip. “When Dad died, Bi and I knew we had to do something. We had more siblings by that point- the triplets, they’re thirteen now. And Mom’s few jobs weren’t enough to keep us fed.”

“So you turned to stealing.”

Dex shrugs, kicking his heel against the brick of the building. “Stealing, scamming, anything that could get us food or money. We ran into trouble a few times, but we managed to slip away. The streets of Petersburg aren’t too bad if you have someone by your side.”

“Oh,” Fitz says. The words I’m sorry seem too small for this, too small for someone who’s been through so much hurt. “I guess I can see why you don’t think the city is beautiful, then.”

“No, actually, I think it is.” Dex turns to face Fitz, eyes fixed on the roof beneath them. “You said that beautiful doesn’t mean perfect, and Petersburg isn’t perfect- it’s dirty and messy and terrifying. But I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’m willing to take the bad for the good that I’ve gotten. The city gave me Biana, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.” 

He looks up, straight into Fitz’s eyes. “And that’s love, isn’t it? Seeing all the cracks and loving it anyway. Understanding it anyway.”

Something about the way he’s talking makes it clear that he doesn’t just mean Petersburg. But Fitz doesn’t have time to think about that right now. 

“Yeah. That’s love.”

More lights appear in windows below them, glittering into existence. It’s a sign of life, of the people who hide in the shadows and laugh with their families. A sign of home. 

Unconsciously, Fitz pulls the music box out of his coat pocket. 

“What’s that?” Dex asks. Fitz hands it to him, and Dex wrinkles his nose. “Is this a Vacker relic? Where did you-” he fiddles with something inside, some piece of machinery, and music starts to play. “Whoa.”

Tinkling music drifts over the rooftop, a memory tugging in the back of Fitz’s mind; he should know this. He should know this. 

He does know this. 

Slowly, quietly, he starts to hum along as a scene takes shape in his mind. 

A smiling red-haired woman leaning over him, a tiny girl by his side. The very same music box in his lap, emitting a soft tune that Fitz knows by heart. 

“Once upon a December,” he sings quietly as the song ends. Dex gapes at him wordlessly, closing the music box with a silent click. 

“Fitz, what-”

Fitz meets his eyes. “We need to get to Paris.” 

-/-

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry the letter’s short today- I don’t have much time to write. 

We’re leaving the city soon, heading away. I won’t say where, for your safety and ours, but rest assured we’ll be as safe as possible. 

If all goes well, I’ll be home soon. We’ll all be together. 

I love you. 

Dex. 

P.S. I said, in my last letter, that my friend was pretty. That’s not true- or, it is, but he’s more than that. He’s beautiful.

[gold-rush-into-things]

I Knew You, Tried to Change the Ending (and everything in between)

So what DOES QAnon believe? So glad you asked! They believe that Trump has been planning a “day of reckoning” known as the "Storm," when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested  (they thought this was going to happen on Biden’s inauguration lmao). They also think most Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials are also members of the cabal. You could almost say… It’s all part of the fucking story. (Sidenote: Cabal is a very cool word, I think I would like to be in one someday maybe, one that does not involve cannibalism though). 

The "Storm" became QAnon-speak for an “imminent” event in which thousands of those alleged suspects will be arrested, imprisoned, and executed for being child-eating pedophiles. Perfectly logical, makes total sense. Again, Q’s followers also developed a name for when Q would come to spill, these “Q Drops.”

I put “imminent” in quotes for this reason, here are some of the Q predictions and dates: 

The "Storm" would take place on November 3, 2017. Last I checked Tom Cruise and Hillary Clinton were not publicly executed

That people targeted by the Trump would commit mass suicide on February 10, 2018. No prominent people committed suicide that day, but also like…. wut.

Multiple failed predictions that Mark Zuckerberg would leave Facebook and flee the US. Zuck is still CEO, unfortunately, as of writing this post.

Multiple failed predictions that Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey would be forced to resign. Jack, unfortunately, remains CEO of Twitter, and remains having the ugliest beard I’ve seen.

Ect, ect ect, you get the point.

Finally, like I mentioned earlier, that the "Storm" would take place on January 20, 2021, the day of Biden's inauguration. While I cried a lot that day, none of it was because there were public executions of my queens Kamala, Michelle, Jill, or Hillary. 

BUT, Q soooooooorta got Jeffery Epstien getting arrested for child trafficking right. Even if they were off by a couple of days. But the tiniest victory can give followers a lot of confidence. 

Which leads right into Spade. The first Spade riddle, “♠️ Aug 2018: Karlie will be at the reputation tour in Nashville” was right! I’ve heard TTB didn’t post it until after, which, kinda sketch, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt (undeservedly). This was also very specific, was allowed to be proven true or false, and BAM people are hooked. Again, understandably! 

And, like Q, most Spade riddles just simply did not come true. Such as:

 “♠️ 10.12.2018: However, Karlie will be single and will have rekindled her friendship with Taylor to a suggestive degree.” 

I’m sorry, but it’s been two years, if it was going to happen, it probably would have by now.

There are then a few that Spade followers retrofit into being correct, like about the golden globes and the cloud imagery of Lover. 

But as Spade continued to stop by, it becomes very, very similar to the “Q Drops.” The clues become more and more vague, and people were / are twisting themselves more and more to make them have meaning. A few of personal favorites: 

♠️ 06.25.2019: Why worry, she blooms in June. (This is funny because obvi nothing happened in June, but also, as a gay man, I know all of icon Troye Sivan’s music and he has a song about gay sex called Bloom and that’s all I can ever think about when I read this lol)

♠️ 09.27.2019: The candle flickered, your eyes darted, my heart pounded. (So dramatic, I love it. And can mean anything you want!)

♠️ 07.24.2019: Without judgement or question, she bent to the ground and picked up the pieces. Blood ran from her hands as she cut herself so I could be whole. (This is just bonkers, but it’s also more CAMP than anything Karlie wore to the Met Gala)

My quips aside, all of these literally mean nothing. And so many of them, especially ones that people retrofit to claim were a hint, were things the general fandom already knew. Such as, “Darling, in the midst of this cruel summer I re-read your love letters…” People lost their mind after the tracklist came out, thinking that Cruel Summer had been revealed by Spade weeks earlier. But at that point the tracklist had already been leaked by Secret Sessioners, AND Taylor hinted at it in the YNTCD video and that weird Amazon commercial. 

But, much like Q followers, and the appeal of the possibility of being involved in something historic (the world’s biggest popstar is in a secret lesbian relationship!!), people are sucked in and it becomes harder to question things — like that Kaylor could possibly be over. 

Another similarity, and one that is a major red flag, is the consistent moving of the goalposts that TTB, Spade, and TCG all played a part in. 

You can see this in the aforementioned Spade riddles about them becoming “friends again” in 2018, “She blooms in June,” and their “Ides of March” post — nothing of note has happened in any preceding March. TCG and her posting about “The Gay Agenda” plan for them to come out which kept getting pushed back. And TTB posting every six months or so that the “contract is ending” regarding Karlie and Josh. So, much like “The Storm,” these big, earth shattering events keep getting predicted, but don’t actually happen. 

Whenever I read about Q followers and the depths that they believe that people in Hollywood and politics are involved in this elite cabal, the first thing I think about is Kaylors’ mantra of “it’s all part of the fucking story.”** Much like how Q followers use “Trust the plan” as comfort when things don’t work out as predicted. 

**For reference: Taylor went out with friends in 2016 (including Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delivinge) to a NYC restaurant and someone, assumed to be one of them, wrote “It’s all part of the fucking story” on the paper table cloth. 

This is repeated in the Kaylor fandom as a message that everything Taylor does publicly, is simply that, part of the story. I specifically remember TTB was sharing theories connecting Hayley Williams’ lead single’s music video in 2019 to Taylor, due to a sound at the end of it (which I unfortunately can’t link, since her blog is gone), recently I saw Spade-Riddles sharing Selena Gomez’s recent Insta post because it had oranges in it (implying it’s tied to the YNTCD girl), and these examples could go on and on. While I wish the world DID revolve around Taylor Swift, unfortunately it doesn’t and every person Taylor has ever come in contact with just isn’t droppeing clues about her being queer in THEIR art.

NEXT POST: Shade Never Made Anyone (even Josh Kushner) Gay

[itsclydebitches]

Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos. 

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books 

Recommended Reviews 

Lindsay F. 

London, United Kingdom 

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though. 

Marina G. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

33 reviews

48 photos

Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one. 

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S. 

New York, NY

68 friends

212 reviews 

337 photos

I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up. 

Hana S. 

London, United Kingdom 

112 friends

115 reviews

208 photos

I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books. 

Robert T. 

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

3 photos

There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa. 

Tiffany L. 

London, United Kingdom 

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone. 

Gillian L. 

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale? 

Update: It’s really, really, really not 

Billy H. 

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G. 

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again. 

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all. 

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he’s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot. 

Jeremy W. 

London, United Kingdom 

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which. 

Heather Ki. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words. 

Jo. W. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand. 

Mackenzie J. 

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom 

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week. 

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O. 

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude. 

[danijadegordon]

Top 10 (L)GBTQ Shows & Movies To Stop The Pining.

As someone who has been consuming as much LGBTQ media as I can, I feel I need to do something productive with the hours I have poured into this. Most of these are able to be streamed on Hulu, because as I’ve learned, Hulu is home to some of the best queer media. A fair warning, most of these are sapphic or mainly sapphic. Without further ado, here is my top ten favorite LGBTQ Films and TV Shows.

10. The L Word (stream on Netflix)

    I am pretty sure that no queer women under the age of 35 actually enjoys this show. However, I do think that every woman who likes women should watch this. The cheesy plotmlines and messy characters make the show interesting to watch even if other parts (*cough* Jenny *cough*) make it unbearable. Anyway despite its flaws and slightly biphobic undertones, I think at least a few episodes need to be watched.

9. The First Girl I Loved (stream on Hulu)

    Honestly this is just like a good chick flick but make it gay. High school unrequited love, dramatic kisses, it's pretty good, clearly not that memorable.

8. The Fosters (and Good Trouble) (stream on Hulu)

    Honestly, this show did so much for Gen Z queer people, or at least myself. The diverse main cast, interesting storylines, and head on approach to sexuality and gender, this show helped me learn about the LGBTQ community before I actively sought it out. As in, this show was some of the first representation on TV that I really saw. Steph and Lena showed a side of marriage that I hadn’t seen. Instead of just beautiful wedding photos I saw that love can be hard and messy and still be worthwhile.

    The subsequent spin-off show (Good Trouble), continues to showcase diverse people and (dramatized) real life situations. It feels like the show that first showed me that it was okay to be different, has grown with me as the show is life as a young adult. This show makes me feel like I am in middle school again in the best way, chock full of nostalgia.

7. Marvel’s Runaways (stream on Hulu)

    I am not a huge marvel fan, (*gasp* I said it!), it just feels like men showing off and creating chaos to fight chaos. I much prefer softer shows that make me laugh and have a large female presence (and it took me 19 years to realize I liked women....). But, twitter broke me down on this one and I am pretty obsessed. 

    The plot is exciting and fast paced, and it’s refreshing to see everyday concerns of young adults/ teens weaved in between the action. Each character has unique features and negative and positive traits and the cast is DIVERSE. The relationships between the characters are also complex and the slow build sapphic romance between two of the main characters is everything you could ever dream of.

6. Buffy The Vampire Slayer (stream on Hulu)

    I learned the other day that Dolly Parton produced this show, which for some reason makes perfect sense to me. Of course the show that I spent my formative years watching would be produced by a legend such as Dolly Parton. 

    I am not totally sure this counts as LGBT media but One Day at a Time (stream on Netflix because it’s good just not on my list) references it as something young lesbian (and bi) women do and I did so here it is. 

    I can pretty much sum up why I love this show in 3 words, Sarah Michelle Geller. I thought she was the coolest person ever, and wanted to be her so bad. Watching her kill the creepy vampires, just iconic. And in later seasons when Willow dates a witch, amazing, just *chefs kiss*. I was obsessed when I saw this show for the first time and I wish I could re-watch it for the first time. 

5. Vita and Virginia (stream on Hulu)

    Historical women being gay is one of the most validating things, and furthermore some of the most beautiful love stories. Vita and Virginia is based on letters sent between the two women (Author Virginia Wolff and Vita Sackville-West), and shows a high stakes and emotional relationship between the two. The 20s fashion and culture paired with the universal queer feeling of pining, this movie was everything. 

    It is also important to note that Vita is a tiny top and Virginia is a beautiful soft giantess bottom (she’s like 6ft or something crazy), and I think that is enough reason to watch this movie in itself

4. The Girl King (stream on Hulu)

    Based on Christina of Sweden, who ruled over Sweden for 10 years before marrying the Pope and becoming the Virgin Queen Of Rome, is breathtaking. The juxtaposition of Christina harsh exterior to the world and her court, and the softness she shows her lady in waiting is captivating. This movie gave me the strong female leader that doesn’t get shown nearly enough in today’s media. This movie made me laugh, cry, and hold my breath in anticipation. It is beautiful and makes me proud to be a queer women.

3. Little Fires Everywhere (stream on Hulu)

    This 8 part series based on the NY Times best seller written by Celeste Ng, is dramatic and poignant. It forces you to think critically about moral areas that we like to think we have the right answer to, and it makes me rethink your own privilege. 

    The dance around the subject of sexuality and romance, and motherhood throughout every aspect of the film is enchanting. What is a perfect life, what is a perfect mother, and how do you move on and grow from mistakes. This show is beautiful and regardless of gender or sexuality this series is worth the watch.

2. Motherland: Fort Salem (stream on Hulu)

    There is no match quite like that of lesbians and witchcraft, and this show does both brilliantly. This show is female dominated and exciting. The characters are interesting and all have different things that motivate them. The history behind the world the show lives in is deep and fleshed out. It’s the fantasy TV show that I have been waiting for my whole life without knowing.

    With a strong queer women as the main character, who has a complex and passionate love story with ANOTHER strong queer women, this show is just amazing. Unlike male dominated media (production included) this show gives viewers the tender and tension filled moments that aren't given to sapphic love stories usually. It doesn’t feel overly sexual (looking at you Blue is the Warmest Color) but it’s not just friendship under a different label. 

    It releases new episodes every Wednesday so, get caught up because this show is worth it!

Portrait of a Lady On Fire (stream on Hulu)

    I never understood why french was a romantic language, until I watched this movie. The score is beautiful and the slow burn romance between the two main characters is captivating. I don’t know what more to say, painters and ladies just go together it seems and this movie proves that. It’s a bit long but it doesn’t feel like that long of a movie.

[heartschoicegames]

Heart’s Choice Author Interview: RoAnna Sylver, “Dawnfall”

Find true love and family with a pirate crew at the ends of the universe, where aliens, ghosts, and portals open the space between worlds...and your heart. You are a Navigator, one who creates and guards portals from one dimension to another, wary of the liminal sea between them.

Your universe is made of two worlds: one contains the magic-infused world of Zephyria, and the other, the dystopian space station Eclipse. The worlds are balanced, until one day, an explosive disaster, a deadly energy storm, and an infamous pirate—the Ghost Queen—upend your life and plunge you into a race to save both worlds.

Dawnfall is a 232,000 word interactive romance novel by RoAnna Sylver,  one of the first set of games releasing with the launch of Heart’s Choice. I sat down with the author, RoAnna Sylver, to talk about writing interactive romance. Heart’s Choice games release December 2nd.

Dawnfall has frankly an insanely wonderful setting for a romance game. Tell me about the aliens, the pirates, the ghosts, and the alien-pirate-ghosts.

Hi there! I’m so glad you think this sounds fun! Yeah, Dawnfall is weird as heck, and that’s one of the things I love about this story. It’s weird in a way I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. I really just tried to put in everything I find fun or interesting, and that I’ve always wanted to write. Dawnfall started out as a total brain-candy project, and runs on pure Rule of Cool. Pirates? Yes. Magic? Yes. A slice of cyberpunk? Hell yes. Eerie ghosts and faerie-tale influences and memory-sharing potions? Giant bird people? The power of rock n’roll? Yes, yes, yes.

And also everybody’s dateable, and in a couple cases, dating each other. We weave a tangled web, but I think it’s a pretty badass and spectacular web.

You seem to really neatly straddle the genre fence here with a romance and sci-fi/fantasy. What was challenging about cramming all of that into one game?

Thank you so much for saying that. I’ve always adored SFF, and there’s so much in this genre-collection, so many extremes and concepts and contrasting colors, that I couldn’t limit myself to picking just one to play with. This weird game-book is kind of a love letter to fantasy and science fiction and haunted house stories and cyberpunk adventures—I thought a lot about the Disney movie Treasure Planet for its genre-blending beauty, and the Bioware game Mass Effect for its array of fascinating, multidimensional alien cuties to interact with and date… and then turned it up to eleven.

I guess you’d expect the challenge to be in making it all fit together/be “believable,” but I kind of threw that out the window. I don’t expect anyone to find it ‘realistic’ (setting-wise anyway; I tried to make every character ring true of course), and I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s silly, or doesn’t take it seriously. It is silly in a lot of ways. DAWNFALL is a giant ridiculous queer space magic pirate adventure, and the only goal is fun. If you have fun, I’ve done my job, and there should be something fun in here for everyone.

Did you have a favorite NPC you enjoyed writing most?

Honestly I love them all so much in different ways, and I know them so well by now it’s really second nature. Their voices come so easily and they’re all so much fun. The Queen’s swagger is awesome though, and her mental voice/mannerisms probably come through especially clearly. I love Zenith’s vulnerable moments when xie lets xir guard down and lets go of the need to entertain or please. I love Averis’s journey and growth from cute wibbly nerd to a confident swashbuckler (who is also still a cute wibbly nerd). I love how deeply Oz feels, how strongly he loves and remembers and honors memory, and how unafraid he is to show softness and warmth. And I love a certain spoilery ghost-babe and how they’re so full of joy at the beauty of life.

I do want to give special mention to Aeon, though. This is a story about connection, and I wanted to show that sibling bonds are every bit as important and strong as romantic or any other. I also wanted to show a complex, multidimensional antagonist figure who holds heartbreaking secrets along with authority, and is genuinely trying to do what she thinks is the best thing, and wants what’s best for you, the PC, even if you might not always agree. Her balance between being so emotionally guarded and determined and unyielding, while hopefully being extremely easy to read and tell what she wants and fears and loves—spoiler: you; she loves you!—was a challenge I hope I pull off.

…Also I enjoy any time Vyranix gets his pompous feathered ass handed to him. I think we all know a Vyranix, or at least of one, and it’s always fun to take them down, even in fantasy.

Who would you be romancing as a player?

I’m gonna say “everyone,” and here it won’t actually be cheating, because you can romance everyone! At once! In varying degrees/relationship dynamics and attractions. You don’t see a lot of polyamory-friendly games or books or anything really, and this is an incredibly important thing for me. The second I got the idea for Dawnfall I knew it had to let players romance anyone they wanted and show polyamory in a realistic, healthy light. I’m also a-spec (asexual and aromantic), and having not just good representation but being actively included and welcomed and celebrated in fiction is so huge too.

Dawnfall is a romance of course, being part of Heart’s Choice, but one of the single most vital elements for me is making it inclusive for aromantic and asexual players and player-characters. Essentially, I wanted to write a romance that didn’t penalize players for not experiencing the attractions the way we’re otherwise expected or required—and I’m so grateful that my amazing editors and community not only accepted but supported everything I was trying to do here. (It’s so refreshing not to have to fight for inclusion and freedom. It shouldn’t be, but it is.)

And that’s where the concept of “Heart-Stars” and “Same-Feathers” came from. I’ve never seen anything honor queerplatonic relationships like I’m trying to do here, and I want everyone, of every sexuality and attraction, to feel like they have a place here and can experience this adventure without limits. And I wanted to show that it’s a very normal thing, hence this being the same for the human characters as well as alien. (One of the nonbinary characters being human is also no mistake. I love me some wild alien genders, but there are tons of awesome nonbinary humans too!)

…That being said, I think I gave Averis most of my anxiety-issues, and would really just like to curl up with Oz and watch The Great British Bake-Off. That sounds like a perfect night in my books.

What were some of the things you found surprising about the game-writing process?

Coding was definitely the biggest learning curve. I’d never coded anything before in my life, and it’s such a new skillset to learn, entirely different from any kind of writing I’ve ever done. Sometimes it felt rewriting my brain, which did not at all do this intuitively—and also sometimes like I bit off much more than I could chew (first game ever being not only a huge piece of interactive fiction, but a polyamorous romance with aro and ace possibilities, and so many more variables than expected!), but it’s been worth it. Entirely. If my writing makes anyone feel seen and accepted and invited to have fun as they are, it’s worth every bit of struggle.

Also, oddly, interactive fiction is in some ways easier for me than writing a plain old book! Probably because I love AUs so much, and every choice in a game is like writing a tiny AU of the story, so I get to do the same scenes several different ways. My ADHD-brain finds something about this extremely satisfying, most likely because it somehow feels more like multitasking! Several stories in one, and if I like two ideas, I don’t have to pick just one to write!

Honestly though, I think the most surprising part is just being done, and…that I could do this at all. It was so huge, and took so long, and I learned so much, and every day I’m just kind of going “who the hell am I?” about doing all of this. I’m proud of it. I did a cool thing. And trying to get better at saying that.

And, what are you working on now?

I always have about 8 active projects going at once (which shouldn’t come as a surprise after last question!), but my next interactive fiction game is with Tales/Fable Labs! It’s shaping up to be a Dawnfall-sized project, but a little faster-moving and action-y.

It’s called Every Beat Belongs To You, and it’s a romantic thriller that feels like Twin Peaks meets Mr. Robot, with a smattering of Repo: The Genetic Opera. A creepy Pacific Northwest town with a secret (and a rash of ritualized murders), a super-slick medical research company whose flagship product is a 100% perfect synthetic heart, a mysterious new-age group, and a sister who went missing just before discovering how it’s all connected. Also five simultaneously-dateable (including ace and aro ships!) cuties of varying genders! Who will you trust with your heart?

I’m very excited about Everybeat, which should be just as queer, polyam, exciting, and weird as all my stuff! Aside from that, I’m working on Stake Sauce Book 2, its companion f/f vampire series Death Masquerade, and Chameleon Moon Book 3. I’m not always working…sometimes there are videogames, and sleep. But I really hope to have a lot more fun things to share soon!

Oh, and depending on how this weird, fun thing goes, I do have some ideas for prequel Dawnfall stories; maybe games, maybe books, but the ideas are there. The world—worlds, really—is so huge, and I’m not done playing in it yet! I also have some character art drawn, and I want to do a lot more of them. It’s another way to show love.

So thank you so much! I really hope Dawnfall is as fun to everyone to read/play as it was for me to write. I can’t wait to share it with you!

[literaryromps]

Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag 2020 📚 {Mina & Wendy edition}

Thank you for tagging us @balaenabooks!! We’re on our 5th book for this blog so there’s slim pickings but by golly do we have ✨OPINIONS✨

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2020: Since we can’t technically pick Moby Dick because we’re only 1/4 of the way through...our picks are Pride & Prejudice (Wendy) and The Great Gatsby (Mina). The common denominator here being that each of us read these books in High School, HATED them, and then had to eat our words.

Alternatively: ...the first 1/4 of Moby Dick

2. Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2020: Not applicable in our case, but I’m not one to leave a space blank so let’s call on the blessed writers on AO3. 

PLEASE check out Wendy’s list of fanfic recs.

There’s Pride & Prejudice smut for all you thirsty Darcy fans, and an incoming Moby Dick (ie. Ishmael x Queequeg) rec list.

3. New release you haven’t read yet: HOT OFF THE 20TH CENTURY PRESS! We’re pumped to read Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez and The Color Purple by Alice Walker.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year: Second half of the year? Oh you mean the 🍁👻🎃Spooky Season 🎃👻🍁?!?! We’ll be reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, and short stories such as The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

5. Biggest disappointment: The extreme racism in Peter Pan. Its treatment of the Native Americans is utterly disgusting. We read all our books out loud and saying the words “White Father” made my stomach flip. 

{Wendy} So this was a hard fall for me because I LOVED Peter Pan growing up. Think 2003 film and Disney’s Peter Pan 2. I read the book when I was... 11? So a lot of it went over my head and a lot of the more recent adaptions play down that bullshit (still not great but leagues better than the book). I got so upset rereading this with Mina I looked over at her after reading something horridly racist and asked “Is this a good book?” Peter Pan also prompted us to start using our poop colored highlighter for trigger warning material in books.

6. Biggest surprise: The soft, loving, queer marriage between Ishmael and Queequeg in Moby Dick. Herman Melville casually dropping some of the sweetest, most romantic prose I’ve ever encountered. Did not see that coming. 

7. Favourite new author (debut or new to you):  MINA’S PICK -- Jane Austen is my new homegirl. She’s the queen of subtle sassery and I’m ravenous for more Regency nonsense.

WENDY’S PICK -- Herman Melville. HOW DO I COUNT THE WAYS IN WHICH I LOVE HERMAN MELVILLE?! I’ve already talked about feeling seen by the first page of Moby Dick because Melville has clearly dealt with and moved through depressive/suicidal episodes and boy I didn’t know I needed to read that from a dude in 1851 but I did. I love how he writes about water and the sea, water imagery makes me a fucking goner. I love the soft, so very soft moments he weaves between Ishy and Queequeg and how through Ishy he works through common prejudices of the time because due to his worldly adventures he came into contact with a lot of people who widened his perspective. And it shows in his writing. There are some problematic parts but out of all the writers we’ve read (except for Austen because she didn’t include any POCs in P&P) he is the least problematic (at least so far, we are only 1/4 in). I also love how much he loved Nathaniel Hawthorne. So much so that I’m getting a fucking PRINT of them holding each other while a gigantic white whale springs majestically from the waters behind them and I’m FRAMING it. I am also reading The Whale by Mark Beauregard which is a PUBLISHED novel fanfic (but uses first hand sources like letters, diaries, etc) love story about Melville and Hawthorne. It’s making my life right now. I just can’t with Melville.

8. Newest fictional crush/newest favourite character: 

CRUSHES -- Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice (AKA winner of the “Enemies to Lovers” trope award). Wendy and I were as determined to LOATHE him as Elizabeth was and that turnaround was staggering.

Moby Dick has caused me to develop a thing for sailors???? Specifically, Ishmael and Queequeg from the 2011 mini series are both delicious. Also Starbuck in the book and every screen adaptation thus far has been lovely.

MINA’S ADOPTED LITERARY SONS -- Alan Campbell (Picture of Dorian Gray), James Vane (Picture of Dorian Gray), Nick Carraway (Great Gatsby), Ishmael (Moby Dick)

If you do anything to hurt my literary sons I will stomp you to death with my hooves. Also to be clear, book Ishmael is my son but I can’t be expected not to lust after Charlie Cox as Ishmael. Just...don’t worry about it.  

9. Book that made you cry: The Picture of Dorian Gray after the deaths of Alan Campbell and James Vane. Dorian Gray has hurt TWO of my sons and is now on my shit list until the end of time. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MY HOOVES DORIAN?! *neighs threateningly* 

{Wendy} It didn’t make me cry, cry but what happened to Myrtle in Great Gatsby was sooo much more graphic than I was prepared for. I honestly had a moment where I was like “do we actual explain what happens in car accidents or do we just say one happened and everyone acts like they get it?”

10. Book that made you happy: Pride & Prejudice! This was the first book we tackled when quarantine fell and it was a much needed, joyful distraction from the terrors of the world. I’m not sure how well we would have fared in March without it.

{Wendy} I second the not faring well through March without Austen, I’m so glad I gave her a second chance. She is definitely one of my favorite authors and the amount of times #mood shows up in the margins of our book is a little insane since it was published in 1813. Timeless Lady, Miss Austen is.

11. Favourite book to film adaptation you saw this year: FA;DJFS;DJFLSDJLDSJLFDKJ I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS!!!!!! OKAY OKAY SO....

Pride & Prejudice -- 1995 mini series  This adaptation is a treasure. Colin Firth is a treasure. If you get weak at the knees when someone mentions the 2005 adaptation I’m happy to ask you to leave. Wendy did a review of a bunch of P&P adaptations, if you’re interested. We...we went deep on this one.

Dorian Gray -- 2009 & 1970 films Psst. Lean in closer. I need to tell you a secret....The Secret of Dorian Gray (1970) is so so worth it.  You know what else? You’ve been underestimating the 2009 adaptation. What a FOOL you’ve been. It’s okay, there’s still time to heed my word and appreciate this film. 

Peter Pan -- 2003 film All the childlike wonder and magic of Peter Pan with minimal racism! Also changes Peter from a sociopathic todder, cult leader, and child murderer to a Peter that’s aged up and capable of feeling love. 👌👌👌

Great Gatsby -- 2011 film (except for you, Toby Mcguire) An excellent film, despite having its issues (e.g. first part of the film is too high paced; casting for Nick is awful)

Moby Dick -- 2011 mini series Only seen part of this since we’re not through with the book yet, but it’s been GREAT. Very impressed with the casting and inclusion of Ahab’s wife. [Disappointed we didn’t get a scene of Ishmael and Queequeg cuddling in bed (COWARDS) but everything else has been perf.]

2010: Moby Dick -- {Wendy} This generally accepted as being a shit remake but I am here to tell you they are wrong! Yes, they didn’t have a big budget. Yes, some of the effects aren’t super polished. BUT a lot of love was put into that movie and there are so many little nods to the book that we kept screaming about and you know what? It was fun- I love the idea that Moby Dick was a prehistoric leviathan who uses Orca moves to catch its prey. I will write a full review of it soon- STAY TUNED

12. Most beautiful book you’ve bought or received this year so far: Moby Dick! It has a huge introduction and pages upon pages of maritime terminology. Our copy has also already sustained slight water damage (as Melville would have wanted) because we keep reading it by the river. Beautiful. 

13. Book you need to read by the end of the year: We just gathered two bookshelves of to-read classic lit books that “we just had lying around”. 

*battle stance* BRING IT 2020! We’re not fucking around here. 

[melodiouswhite]

Classic Literature Vines Compilation - Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pt. 03

Lanyon: Hey, can I have some of that water? Hyde: It's not water. Lanyon: Vodka! I like your style- Hyde: It's vinegar. Lanyon: What?! Hyde: It's vinegar, pussy!

--

Utterson: Babe, do the thing! Hyde: *genuinely smiles* Utterson [breathless]: Oh my god …

--

Jekyll: Lanyon, have you seen the Lady? She was supposed to meet me here- Lanyon: Let me find that out. Lanyon: HASTIE LANYON DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED!!! Lady Summers, unsheathing her sword: WHO IS HAVING A DEATH WISH TODAY?! Lanyon: Problem solved. Jekyll: Knew it.

--

Jekyll: I studied the soul for decades, so I know almost everything about it. Lady Summers: You know nothing, Henry Jekyll.

--

Hyde: *posing on the desk seductively* You like what you see, Doctor? Jekyll: … Jekyll: *awkward, unwelcome lust for other self intensifies*

--

Jekyll: This is going to be a horrible day. Utterson, passing by: Good morning, Jekyll! Jekyll: This is going to be a wonderful day.

--

Hyde: I have a problem! Lady Summers: You have countless problems. Hyde: But this is THE problem! Lady Summers: Alright, what ails you? Hyde: Every time I see Utterson, I feel all weird! Lady Summers: Be more specific. Hyde, in one breath: My heart beats faster, I feel hot and cold, there's a weird tickling in my stomach, that almost gives me nausea, I feel the urge to kill, when someone even looks at him, I get all red, when he talks to me, he makes me feel jealous and possessive and my mood lightens up, when he pays attention to me, if he's not there, I'm more irritable than usual and I want him to be all mine, I hate, when he gets hurt, when someone talks shit about him, I just want to kill- Hyde: *gasps for air* Lady Summers: It's simple, Mr. Hyde: You have developed an emotional attachment to Mr. Utterson. Hyde: … Hyde: You're saying I'm in love. Lady Summers: Eh, it's too early to speak of love- Hyde: I'M NOT IN LOVE!!! *rushes off* Lady Summers, after Hyde is gone: He's totally in love. 

--

Lady Summers: Us women aren't allowed to influence politics. Lady Summers: So the only way for us to gain a modicum of agency is to influence those who make the politics.

--

Lady Summers: This is going to be a wonderful day! Sameer, her Indian butler: Milady, you have been invited to a ball by the Princess of Wales. Lady Summers: This is going to be a horrible day. 

--

Utterson: H*ck. Lady Summers: Why did you censor that? Hyde: Because it's a fucking bad word.

--

Jekyll: I'm going to play God and split the evil out of my soul, so I can be a good man! Jekyll: What could possibly go wrong? Hyde: Hi! I'm here to ruin everything.

--

Utterson: *running his hands through Hyde's hair* Hyde: What are you doing? Utterson: I just found something I like better about you than about Henry. Hyde: *blushes* Wh-what? Utterson: Your hair is lovely. The colour, the silkiness, the fluff- Hyde: Sh-shut up! >///<

--

Jekyll: Guys, am I a good man? Utterson: *awkwardly* Uhhh … Poole: *hesitantly* That's very subjective … Lady Summers: *shrugs* Not really. Lanyon: Lol, nope. Hyde: AHAHAHAHAHA, DO I LOOK LIKE YOU'RE A GOOD MAN?! Jekyll: … Jekyll: I hate you all. 

--

Poole: Mr. Utterson, help! I lost Master Hyde! Utterson: Don't worry, I've got this. Utterson: GABRIEL JOHN UTTERSON IS A PIECE OF SHIT!!! Hyde, out of nowhere: WHO WANTS TO FUCKING DIE?! Utterson: There he is.

--

Jekyll: That was amazing, but did you really have to scratch my back open with those insane finger nails of yours? The scars will be permanent. Hyde: Requiting your compliment, but did you have to bite into my shoulder and neck that hard? The hickeys will never go away.

--

Queen Victoria: This is going to be a boring party. Lady Summers: *waltzing in like she owns the place* Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! I was invited, so I'm here to ruin everything! Queen Victoria: This is going to be an amusing party. 

--

Utterson: It's so cute how small and petite he is. Hyde: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Utterson: So cute. Lanyon: … Lanyon: Am I the only one who hasn't gone bonkers yet?! Lady Summers: Actually, Dr. Lanyon, you're just as much off your rocker as we are.

--

The British government, August 1885: Being queer was always disgusting, but now it's officially illegal. Jekyll & Utterson: Shit. Hyde: Oh wow, look at all the fucks I give! 

--

Lanyon: So, you're really dating Gabriel now? Jekyll: Yeah. Lanyon: Well, congratulations, Henry! I'm happy for you, but just a friendly reminder: you were a horrible lover back when you and I were together. Jekyll: *ashamed* I know. And I'm so- Lanyon: *wags an index finger* Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! That's in the past. There is only one more thing I need you to know- Lanyon:  -If you hurt Gabriel, like you hurt me, I'll make you WISH that Hyde had consumed your soul, Henry Jekyll! And tell Hyde that, if HE hurts him, I'll make sure that no one will ever find your body. Jekyll: *gulps* D-duly noted, Hastie.

--

Lanyon: How is the loveliest flower in the Empire doing? Lady Summers, without looking up from her paper work: I don't know, how are you? Lanyon, tearing up: I … I'm fine.

--

Hyde: I don't give a damn about anyone other than myself! Utterson: *exists* Hyde: … Hyde: Shit. 

--

Hyde: I don't care about Jekyll. Jekyll: I HAVE ANXIETY!!! Hyde: GODDAMMIT, NOT AGAIN!!! *gets tea, muffins and a blanket* 

--

Lanyon: Henry, that is a bad idea. Jekyll: You're such a horrible friend. Some random scientist: Dr. Jekyll, your ideas are rubbish. Lanyon, before Jekyll can react: *grabs the guy by the collar* DAFUQ DID YOU JUST SAY??? THE ONLY ONE WHO'S ALLOWED TO CRITICISE HIM IS ME!!! Jekyll: … Jekyll, tearing up: You're such a good friend.

--

Lanyon: *walking down the streets, minding his own business* ^_^ Some passerby: Lol, look at that freak's eyes! Lanyon: … *struggling not to cry* *a wild Jekyll, Hyde, Utterson and Lady Summers appear* Jekyll, Hyde & Lady Summers: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, YOU PIECE OF TRASH??? YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT! Utterson: *comforting Lanyon* Lanyon: I love you guys.

--

Lady Summers, on the phone: Mr. Hyde, please, I'm trying to talk to my father-in-law! Greetings, Milord. Hyde: *making fake sexual noises* Utterson: Edward! Lord Summers, on the other end of the line: What's going on back there, Luise? Lady Summers: Just an exuberant, young client in heat, molesting one of my older clients. Block him out. Hyde: HEY!!! Utterson: *blushes and facepalms*

--

Utterson: I never lie. Hyde: You just did. Utterson: It's not a lie, if it's obvious sarcasm.

--

Jekyll's letter to Lanyon: Listen, I know we're not best pals anymore, but you need to do something really crazy, because I'm in huge trouble. Lanyon, after reading it: He's nuts. Lanyon: But I'll do it anyway, even though we're not best pals anymore, because he asked for my help and because that's what friends do.

--

Jekyll: I'm so lazy. Utterson: Don't you dare. Jekyll: I can't do anything right. Hyde: SHUT UP!!! Jekyll: I'm just not good enough. Lanyon: I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU WITH FRIENDSHIP!!!

--

Jekyll & Hyde, pointing at Utterson: That's our emotional support lawyer. Lanyon, gesturing at Lady Summers: That's my emotional support Prussian. Lady Summers, gesturing at the 3 gentlemen plus Hyde: Those are my emotional support clients. 

--

Hyde: I'm not a cat! Jekyll, fondly: Of course not. *scratches Hyde's head* Hyde: *purrs*

--

*in the afterlife* Hyde: … Huh. Doesn't look like hell to me. Jekyll: It isn't. Apparently we have a place in neither heaven nor hell, because only complete souls are allowed. We're supposed to go to some kind of limbo. This place here is just the gateway to the beyond. Hyde: And why are you here? Why did you not go ahead? Jekyll: I was waiting for you. Hyde: Oh. *awkward silence* Jekyll: *clears throat* So you did it, Edward. Hyde: Yeah. This is all your fault. Jekyll: *sighs* I know. I'm sorry. For everything. Hyde: … Jekyll: Wanna make up like real soulmates? Hyde: Sure. Both: *hugging and crying*

--

*what they say* Jekyll: I hate you! Hyde: I hate you more! *what they mean* Jekyll: I love you so much! Hyde: I can't live without you!

--

Hyde, to Lady Summers: How many weapons do you even carry around? It seems like you always have one. Lady Summers: Oh, that's a good question. Hang on for a moment. Lady Summers: *removes several knives from her sleeves, a poisoned dart from her glove, daggers from the folds of her dress, a gun from her hat, her hair needles and hat pins, her umbrella and her sword cane and puts it all on the table* Lady Summers: That's not all, but I'm not going to undress in front of you to disarm myself completely. Hyde: … Hyde: I'm scared.

--

Hyde, about Lady Summers: I wonder what her Ladyship is like, when she's angry. Lanyon: Your worst nightmare. Hyde: She doesn't need to be angry for that. Her cane and umbrella are enough to give me nightmares. Lanyon, thinking: Jackpot.

[lewiscarrollsocietynorthamerica]

CHAPTER XII. Alice’s Evidence

‘Here!’ cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.

‘Oh, I beg your pardon!’ she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.

‘The trial cannot proceed,’ said the King in a very grave voice, ‘until all the jurymen are back in their proper places—all,’ he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; ‘not that it signifies much,’ she said to herself; ‘I should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.’

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

‘What do you know about this business?’ the King said to Alice.

‘Nothing,’ said Alice.

‘Nothing whatever?’ persisted the King.

‘Nothing whatever,’ said Alice.

‘That’s very important,’ the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: ‘Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,’ he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.

‘Unimportant, of course, I meant,’ the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone,

‘important—unimportant—unimportant—important—’ as if he were trying which word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down ‘important,’ and some ‘unimportant.’ Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; ‘but it doesn’t matter a bit,’ she thought to herself.

At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out ‘Silence!’ and read out from his book, ‘Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.’

Everybody looked at Alice.

‘I’m not a mile high,’ said Alice.

‘You are,’ said the King.

‘Nearly two miles high,’ added the Queen.

‘Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,’ said Alice: ‘besides, that’s not a regular rule: you invented it just now.’

‘It’s the oldest rule in the book,’ said the King.

‘Then it ought to be Number One,’ said Alice.

The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. ‘Consider your verdict,’ he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.

‘There’s more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,’ said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; ‘this paper has just been picked up.’

‘What’s in it?’ said the Queen.

‘I haven’t opened it yet,’ said the White Rabbit, ‘but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to—to somebody.’

‘It must have been that,’ said the King, ‘unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.’

‘Who is it directed to?’ said one of the jurymen.

‘It isn’t directed at all,’ said the White Rabbit; ‘in fact, there’s nothing written on the outside.’ He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added ‘It isn’t a letter, after all: it’s a set of verses.’

‘Are they in the prisoner’s handwriting?’ asked another of the jurymen.

‘No, they’re not,’ said the White Rabbit, ‘and that’s the queerest thing about it.’ (The jury all looked puzzled.)

‘He must have imitated somebody else’s hand,’ said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)

‘Please your Majesty,’ said the Knave, ‘I didn’t write it, and they can’t prove I did: there’s no name signed at the end.’

‘If you didn’t sign it,’ said the King, ‘that only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else you’d have signed your name like an honest man.’

There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day.

‘That proves his guilt,’ said the Queen.

‘It proves nothing of the sort!’ said Alice. ‘Why, you don’t even know what they’re about!’

‘Read them,’ said the King.

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. ‘Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?’ he asked.

‘Begin at the beginning,’ the King said gravely, ‘and go on till you come to the end: then stop.’

These were the verses the White Rabbit read:—

  ‘They told me you had been to her,    And mentioned me to him:   She gave me a good character,    But said I could not swim.   He sent them word I had not gone    (We know it to be true):   If she should push the matter on,    What would become of you?   I gave her one, they gave him two,    You gave us three or more;   They all returned from him to you,    Though they were mine before.   If I or she should chance to be    Involved in this affair,   He trusts to you to set them free,    Exactly as we were.   My notion was that you had been    (Before she had this fit)   An obstacle that came between    Him, and ourselves, and it.   Don’t let him know she liked them best,    For this must ever be   A secret, kept from all the rest,    Between yourself and me.’

‘That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet,’ said the King, rubbing his hands; ‘so now let the jury—’

‘If any one of them can explain it,’ said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of interrupting him,) ‘I’ll give him sixpence. I don’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it.’

The jury all wrote down on their slates, ‘She doesn’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it,’ but none of them attempted to explain the paper.

‘If there’s no meaning in it,’ said the King, ‘that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn’t try to find any. And yet I don’t know,’ he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; ‘I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. “—said I could not swim—” you can’t swim, can you?’ he added, turning to the Knave.

The Knave shook his head sadly. ‘Do I look like it?’ he said. (Which he certainly did not, being made entirely of cardboard.)

‘All right, so far,’ said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: ‘“We know it to be true—” that’s the jury, of course—“I gave her one, they gave him two—” why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know—’

‘But, it goes on “they all returned from him to you,”’ said Alice.

‘Why, there they are!’ said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. ‘Nothing can be clearer than that. Then again—“before she had this fit—” you never had fits, my dear, I think?’ he said to the Queen.

‘Never!’ said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)

‘Then the words don’t fit you,’ said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.

‘It’s a pun!’ the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, ‘Let the jury consider their verdict,’ the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.

‘No, no!’ said the Queen. ‘Sentence first—verdict afterwards.’

‘Stuff and nonsense!’ said Alice loudly. ‘The idea of having the sentence first!’

‘Hold your tongue!’ said the Queen, turning purple.

‘I won’t!’ said Alice.

‘Off with her head!’ the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

‘Who cares for you?’ said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) ‘You’re nothing but a pack of cards!’

At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.

‘Wake up, Alice dear!’ said her sister; ‘Why, what a long sleep you’ve had!’

‘Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!’ said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, ‘It was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it’s getting late.’ So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.

But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:—

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers—she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that would always get into her eyes—and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sister’s dream.

The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by—the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool—she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution—once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess’s knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it—once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard’s slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.

So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull reality—the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds—the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen’s shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy—and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard—while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle’s heavy sobs.

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

             THE END

[annewithagee]

Know Love When You See It (1)

“I can’t do this, Gil. I can’t open this door. What it it’s too late? What if we came all this way only to find it was all for naught, because she... she..." A story in which Gilbert's health remains perfectly fine, but that's not enough to bring Anne peace. Alternate ending to AotI. Shirbert.

fanfiction.net / AO3

Chapter 1 A Love Letter

Rusty purred longingly, trying to get his young Mistress’s attention. Anne smiled gently at the sound and reached out to caress the determined feline and yet, her sight remained fixed on the book she held in her other hand,

It was clear that even Rusty didn’t have enough charm to make her abandon Lord Tennyson’s fine work.

“Really, Anne, I never imagined you’d be one to spoil a cat,” Stella scolded her gently. “You used to barely tolerate these animals, and even then you only approved of the clean, well-mannered ones. And here you are, letting the least mannered cat of all lie on Miss Patty’s lovely sofa and encouraging his stay!”

Anne barely looked up at her.

“We let the Sarah-cat and Thomas sleep on the finest of our cushions, darling,” she protested softly. “It wouldn’t be fair to treat Rusty differently. And his manners have improved immensely since we took him in, don’t you think?”

“Well, there wasn’t much to improve to start with.” Stella grimaced. “He had no manners at all – he could only go up from there.”

“I say the important part is that he decided to improve at all. I know what it’s like to be judged for the improper behaviour when there has been no one to teach you anything about it in the first place. I can only marvel at my own initial indifference and lack of understanding towards this unlucky fellow.”

“Oh, enough of this cat talk!” Phil interrupted impatiently then. “You better tell us about this book you’re reading, Queen Anne. You look as if you’ve been wanting to laugh for the past quarter and I am dying to find out why. I’d love to borrow that volume later, too; I could certainly use a good laugh right now.”

“You could always use a good laugh, Phil, no matter what your mood currently is,” Anne retorted cleverly. “And don’t make it sound as if you had any reasons to feel miserable.”

“Tease all you like, Anne, it won’t change a thing. I may be the one getting married next month, but that certainly doesn’t make me any less nervous, no matter how happy I am. I keep having these awful nightmares about Jo changing his mind and leaving me, or about my family suddenly deciding to oppose to the marriage and consequently ruining everything I have hoped for – right when I finally started to believe that I could pass for a respectable wife, even for a minister.”

“Dearest Phil, you know theses nightmares have nothing to do with your future,” Anne protested gently, suppressing a laugh caused by both Philippa’s words and the sight of Stella, mercilessly rolling her eyes at them. “You know Jonas loves you too much to ever give up on you, and even if your family decided to interfere with your happiness in any way – which I am sure they will not – you would not pay it much mind anyway.”

Phil sighed deeply as she sunk on the closest chair. “You are perfectly right, Queen Anne, as you usually are. You know, sometimes I wish I had your wisdom; but then I realise that Jo might not want me so much if I were and I immediately regret making any silly wishes. Anyway, you have not answered my question about your reading: what is it?”

Anne allowed herself a small chuckle this time.

“Something you would not find very amusing, I’m afraid,” she explained softly, her eyes returning to the pages in question. “I’ve been skimming through Lancelot and Elaine, stopping only when I came across the parts dearest to me.”

“And that’s what made you glow so much?” Stella joined the conversation once more. “Why, Anne, I’ve always known you had a rather queer taste in literature, but I would never assume you’d find such tragic poem comical.”

“It’s not so much the poem itself as the memory it brings. I remember discussing it at school in Avonlea, weeping and sighing over poor Elaine’s fate with my friends. I was the most emotional, of course, but the girls were not far behind me.”

Stella nodded with a little more understanding. “I can see how that’s amusing now, although I’d still expect a smile rather than a laughter as a natural reaction to it.”

“That’s because you haven’t heard the best part yet!” Anne responded with a sly smile and began recounting their unfortunate attempt to enact the aforementioned poem on the bright waters of Barry’s Pond. By the time Anne came to the infamous scene of the leaking boat, all three had been shaking with laughter, tears of joy glimmering in more than one pair of eyes.

“Really, Anne!” Phil exclaimed in what was supposed to be a stern tone but couldn’t be due to the cheerful trembling of her voice. “We have lived here together for nearly three years, have known each other for four and for all this time you have not thought it appropriate to treat us with a story like this! Why, I am sure you would have spared me at least one miserable night if you had.”

“She hath kept the good wine until now,” Stella answered, trying as she might to sound as serious and composed as the paraphrase required, and failing spectacularly. “I am only surprised she didn’t wait for Priss to come back – the poor girl will be devastated when she learns how much fun she has missed.”

“There is no need to worry about that,” Anne hastened to explain. “Priscilla had known the whole story long before we even arrived to Redmond and I can assure you that her reaction was every bit as fierce as yours.”

Stella pressed her hand against her chest and sighed with emphasis. “Oh, now I see! Priss gets to know everything in advance while we have to beg! Now, Anne, I am positively wounded!”

“And you two are getting off topic again!” Phil intervened again, this time throwing her arms high in the air for a better effect. “Truly, how you can focus on such nonsense when the great finale is still ahead of us is beyond me.”

“You were the one who started it!” Anne contradicted her with another short laugh.

“I beg your pardon, but my comment was fully justified and in some ways it still referred directly to the story you had told. But enough of this! How did you get off that bridge, Anne?”

The auburn-haired girl chuckled again, a little nervously this time, as she lowered her eyes and fixed them on the text once more.

“That is the part in which my pride suffers most,” she said quietly, forcing a light, careless tone that suddenly felt so inappropriate. “You see, I didn’t really mind climbing that pole – of course, it was uncomfortable and comical, and very different from the romantic scene I had envisioned; but at least there was no one there to see me. And all I needed to do was to hold onto that pole until Mr Barry came to help me out in my distress. He would laugh, of course, but I couldn’t care much for it – he had been an eye-witness to my antics too many times already. Unfortunately, my rescue came from a different party entirely.”

Anne expected her friends to interrupt her with more witty remarks; however, they made none.

“There was...” she picked up hesitantly. “There was a boy in our class, who went rowing on Barry’s Pond that day. He saw me and came closer, offering to take me to the shore in his flat.”

“How romantic,” Stella mused teasingly at that.

“Oh, hardly!” Anne protested vigorously, as if she had been fourteen again, listening to Diana’s most ridiculous comments. “I have never thought of my classmates in terms of romance, but it wouldn’t have been half so bad – half so humiliating – had it been any other boy than the one that came. Dear me, how I hated him then! I had been angry with him before, but it was nothing compared to what I felt on that moment under the bridge.”

“And is there any chance we might know the poor chivalrous knight?” Phil asked, wriggling her eyebrows meaningfully. “Could it be Charles and his big, bulging eyes?”

Anne’s own big eyes widened in surprise at her friend’s abrupt assumption.

“No, not at all!” she denied firmly. “I have never hated Charlie, although I have never been particularly fond of him, either. In fact, I think I’ve always cared too little for him to hold any such strong feelings towards him.”

“Poor Charlie,” Stella remarked with an absolute lack of sympathy. “But if not him, then who?”

“The same boy I had ignored for the three years prior and continued to do so for another two, both at school and at Queen’s – and whom, I believe, you have got to know quite well during our stay here.”

Stella was close to choking on her astonishment. “You mean...”

“Gilbert Blythe, yes,” Anne admitted with a small smile. “And I truly wished it had been anyone but him back then.”

“Not so fast, my dear,” Phil exclaimed now. “I know you and Gilbert have not always been friends – it’s certainly hard to call you friends now – but you can’t tell me you used to hate him!”

“Oh, but I did! Or at least, I wholeheartedly believed so.”

“The same Gilbert who is always so kind and considerate, no matter how little he likes the company he’s in?”

“No, the one who had pulled my braid and called me ‘Carrots’ on our very first day of school.” Anne countered cleverly, her smile widening at the sight of shock that had reflected on her friend’s faces almost immediately. “Well, I suppose you didn’t expect to hear that about him.”

“And that’s why you weren’t friends for so long?” Stella asked with disbelief.

Anne nodded, regaining some of her temporarily lost composure. “We were sworn enemies at the time – at least I was. Gilbert tried to apologise and make things right, but my eleven year old self wouldn’t hear of it; and then I suppose I kept thinking of him in that way because my rise and sense of dignity demanded it. Not to mention, I’ve always had that bit of a competitive strike, and since Gilbert soon turned out to be the only real rival, beating him in class became another matter of honour to me.”

“And you didn’t make your peace that day by the pond?” Phil asked again.

“No,” Anne responded, with a little bit of melancholy – sentiment – embarrassment ringing in her voice. “It was the last time my pettiness made itself known and consequently robbed us both of two years of friendship. He went furious – as furious as someone of Gilbert’s personality can be, anyway – snapped and walked away. He had been a rival before, but he had never seemed to care much about it… But after that encounter he became just as ruthless as I had been from the start.”

“In that case, I suppose your fiery arguments here at Redmond were not even half as bad as we all thought,” Phil muttered under her breath. “It must have been nothing compared to what you two had done at school.”

Anne smiled more sincerely now. “Oh, you should have seen us then. Poor Miss Stacy barely managed to answer our overly grown hunger for knowledge, not to mention that we must have been a terrible distraction from other students, who undoubtedly needed her attention much more than we did. In the end she would just give us more to read, if only to make us stay quiet for a moment at least.”

It was Phil’s turn to nod. “You two really have a history.”

“That we do,” Anne agreed a little wistfully. She brightened up the next moment, however. “But, as one of my dearest friends often says, enough of this! The story was meant to cheer you up, not to make us go down some cold, hostile memory lane. We still have a whole afternoon ahead of us, and I’m not going to waste it in any way. We only have a few short days before we leave Patty’s Place for good, and I am determined to make the most of it – and you don’t even try to talk yourselves out of it!”

“And what would you have us do, Queen Anne?” Stella asked a little sceptically, for which she received a frown from Phil. Seeing the exchange, Anne could hardly do more than laugh wholeheartedly at them.

“I have no idea, my dearest Kindred Spirits!” she cried out with eagerness that didn’t match her words nor the atmosphere from mere moments earlier and yet, her voice resonated with sincerity that could not have been denied. “We can dance and we can sing, or we can leave the house and set off on a journey, if only it doesn’t take us too far away from this most beloved place. I once said that I had two homes – Green Gables and Patty’s Place – and I can’t tell you how happy I am that my feelings towards that matter have not changed at all. It is reassuring to know that one can truly love more than just one place so much.”

“I suppose it must be so, or no one would ever find happiness after they married – save for the people who stayed in their own houses and those who never loved their homes in the first place,” Stella concluded.

Anne nodded in agreement with her words. “It is very true, but let’s not forget those who must leave their homes for reasons other than marriage. Oh, Phil, please don’t give me that look, even if I have deserved it. I know you are still angry with me for what happened yesterday, but I promise you, it has nothing to do with what I meant.”

“What did you mean, then?” Phil asked calmly, refraining from a more blatant comment that was springing to her lips.

“I meant us. Four college girls, thrown into a new life, away from their families, their neighbours, away from the people and places they care for so much. It could have been such miserable four years, full of stress and loneliness, with homesickness threatening to take over us any minute – and instead they were four years of great friendships, and three of them have been spent here. I’m not sure if I could have born to go through the many challenges Redmond had in store, had it not been for the sense of safety this place has given me.”

“Oh, and here I thought it was our unconditional love and support that had pushed you through!” Stella exclaimed, her hand once again flying to her chest in a dramatic gesture. “Now, you have really hurt my feelings, Anne. Excruciatingly!”

Anne laughed wholeheartedly at her friend’s words, basking in the joy this wonderful comradeship could give.

“Tease all you like -” she said with confidence. “you will not succeed in ruining my good spirits. The day is just too lovely for any sort of pettiness; you can say whatever you want and I won’t take offence. I’m in a forgiving mood – I feel you that if the worst of my enemies came to visit me today, I could not hold grudge against them.”

“Poor Gilbert!” Phil cried out then. “If only he had known that day would come, he might have waited for it, instead of trying to make peace with you over some pond only minutes after he had so unnecessarily rescued you!”

Anne did not find the comment worthy of her answer and decided to resort to violence instead. In one swift motion she grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at Phil, hitting her right in her smiling face; the latter squeaked in shock but caught the missile in perfect reflex and threw it back at her aggressor without hesitation.

That was the setting in which Priscilla found them in.

“I leave you alone for an hour and you turn into children we used to teach!” she exclaimed in the tone of a perplexed matron, as if she had been at least a decade older than her frivolous friends. “Truly, Anne, what would the board of Avonlea school think if they saw what their favourite schoolmarm does when left unsupervised?”

“I have never been their favourite, so how would I know?” Anne answered her question laughingly, catching the cushion that had once again flown in her direction; however, she refrained from tossing it back. Priscilla raised her gaze to the ceiling, most probably asking the Good Lord to give her patience necessary for dealing with the force her companions undoubtedly were.

“They should take away your B. A.s for behaving like this,” she muttered under her breath as she shrugged off her coat and took off her hat. “I’m not surprised to see Anne or Phil act like that, but you, Stella? Why, I believed you to be the sensible one at least.”

“Don’t lump me together with them,” Stella opposed. “These two won’t listen to anyone and certainly not me.”

“They better do listen to me, though, because I have some great news that should interest them. I’ve been to the post office and there was at least half a dozen letters addressed to us.”

“And I bet half of those are for Phil,” Anne commented teasingly, standing up and approaching Priscilla, ready to take some of the many packages the other girl had brought with her. “Let me take these, Priss, as I’m sure none of those letters are for me. After all, I never receive any letters on Monday.”

“How can you be so sure?” Priscilla asked suggestively. “What if I told you that it’s your turn to receive Phil’s usual, ridiculous share?”

Anne shook her head vigorously. “Impossible! The only letters I am waiting for are the ones from Green Gables and those always arrive on Wednesday, and sum up the whole previous week, together with Mrs Lynde’s great commentary on the minister’s latest sermon.”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that one of these letters really has you name written on it – and the handwriting does look to me as if it was Mrs Lynde’s, indeed.”

“It can’t be,” Anne repeated; but the treacherous smile was beginning to blossom on her joyful countenance and not a minute passed before she had whipped the envelope from Priscilla’s hand and pressed in to her chest, barely deigning the item with a glance.

“This truly is the most wonderful of days!” she said excitedly. “Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, you bring this! Dear Priss, you really are a herald of good news!”

And with that she ran towards the sofa and sank on it once more, impatient to learn the contents of the letter that had already gladdened her so much.

“My, my, Anne!” Phil remarked with a dry smile and a slight rise of her eyebrows. “Judging from your excitement, one could think it is a love letter you are holding; if I didn’t know any better, I would swear it was Roy Gardner who had written to you again.”

“Oh, but it as a love letter, and it’s the most beautiful one – better than any suitor could ever send!”  Anne protested firmly, glancing from over the letter with her bright eyes. “No one has ever loved me more dearly than those who lived at Green Gables and I doubt anyone ever could. Green Gables letters always are the most affectionate ones; even if sometimes I am the only one who can feel and see it hidden between the lines.”

“Even if those lines are written by Mrs Rachel Lynde?” Priss asked.

Anne nodded eagerly.

“Even if,” she confirmed resolutely. “Mrs Lynde is a dear soul and a true Kindred Spirit, even if our first encounter seemed to prove the opposite; besides, it never is just Mrs Lynde that writes, although she addresses the envelopes to spare Marilla the trouble. Oh, I can’t wait to read about all the scrapes Davy has got himself in since the last time! I did not expect this letter to come for the next two days and now I can’t imagine delaying it for another minute!”

The three friends gifted her with the same bemused look before chuckling cheerfully.

“Well, in that case I suggest you go to your room at once, Miss Anne,” Phil advised with feign seriousness. “Otherwise you’ll just keep talking to us and we’ll never get to learn what this precious letters is really about.”

“I am not going anywhere.” Anne protested for the last time. “I will sit here for the whole time and share all of the best parts with you immediately. Oh, what a feast this is going to be!”

[ohdannybcy]

DANIEL “DANNY” GRAY is a 23 year old from BEAUMONT, living in Beaumont for the past 18 YEARS, MOVED AWAY FOR COLLEGE & MOVED BACK ABOUT 9 MONTHS AGO. HE is a FIFTH GRADE TEACHER AT BEAUMONT ELEMENTARY and in his downtime loves CREATING CONTENT/ MAKEUP TUTORIALS FOR HIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL and BAKING. He looks an awful lot like TROYE SIVAN.

TW: gaslighting, manipulation, general gross ex boyfriends 

so first things first: danny is a local boiy. his family has been in beaumont for generations and they’ll probably end up staying there for generations more. his dad was a high school government/history teacher and a football coach and his mom taught third grade, both who retired within the last few years. danny’s the youngest of four and was a bit of a surprise baby, coming along after his older siblings were all teenagers/preteens. because of the large age gap between them, he isn’t really that close with his siblings but there’s definite love and acceptance in abundance in that family. 

danny came out to his family at fourteen as gay though it really came as no surprise to any of them— danny was a bit of a walking gay cliché. the world was the danny show growing up- there are heaps of home videos of little danny wearing his sister’s beauty queen tiaras and his mama’s high heels singing dolly parton and leann rimes into the handle of the vacuum cleaner and countless other expressions of his inner diva. there was never a second where danny doubted that his family still loved and accepted him regardless of who he was attracted to. 

danny started a youtube channel when he was fourteen just as a fun thing to do where he would talk about being a young gay man in the middle of small town tennessee, his friends, high school, family and everything in between. it wasn’t until he started to express himself with make up and fashion- creating make up tutorials and sewing tutorials ( classic thrift store finds that were turned into something more Glamorous ) that his channel started to gain more traction. it’s not huge but he’s got a solid following and he’s kept his channel going through college and now as an adult. 

when he was fifteen, danny tried out for the beaumont high school cheerleading squad and was on it until he graduated. he’d taken gymnastics when he was younger- a way for him to channel so much of that excess energy he had- and flourished as a tumbler and had the full body strength and control that made him an asset no matter what position of a stunt he was in. most of the time he was a back- the control system of the stunt- but he also spent time as a flyer due to his smaller stature. 

his reputation of being a walking cliche only became more apparent when he started dating the quarterback- a cheerleader and the quarterback, how many times have we heard this story? jackson- or, as danny affectionately called him, jj- was everything that a first love was supposed to be and it was the sort relationship that gets written about in teenage romance novels. even their parents were convinced this was a Forever Thing. 

however whenever those college acceptance letters came in, life had a different plan. long distance wasn’t feasible and there was a mutual respect of the other and wanting them to be able to go off and experience everything that college had to offer without the ball and chain of a boyfriend waiting several states away. 

danny left to attend college at the university of mephis, initially pursuing a degree in fashion design. the demands of the course though paired with a dip in his mental health- being away from home for the first time in a place where he knew no one, still getting over the break up with jackson-  had him changing majors at the end of his freshman year to elementary education. 

that was the start of an upswing for danny- he felt comfortable and happy in his new major, a new focus on what he wanted to do with his life, friends and a community in memphis and, the icing on the cake, a new boyfriend. jonathan was charming and made danny feel like the most important person in the world. that first year was everything he wanted it to be but not long after they moved in together things started to change. 

jonathan started spending more time out with his friends, making a point to mention that danny was not included, staying out all night and coming home smelling like other people. any time that danny tried to confront him about this, jonathan would turn it around on danny, putting the blame on him and manipulating him into thinking it was all in his head or that it was his fault- that he wasn’t doing enough to keep his boyfriend loyal. the relationship wasn’t healthy and danny was so deeply entrenched in the lies that jonathan told him, wanting only to believe what he was being told ( that he was just being crazy, that nothing was really going on ) that he allowed himself to even be swept up in an engagement that would be broken by jonathan a few months before graduation.

the broken off engagement, though would be MUCH better in the long run, destroyed danny. it was with the help of awesome friends who helped move him out of the apartment and let him couch surf and constantly supported him until graduation that he kept his head above water. the second the graduated, he packed up his car and drove home, needing a fresh start in a place that was familiar. 

he started teaching fifth at beaumont elementary in august and at first, he’d honestly been apprehensive. he’d always wanted to teach younger kids- first through third grade- ‘before they discover talking back’. the last few months teaching though have been life changing and he loves his job- his principal and other teachers are wonderful and his kids are Everything.

A COUPLE OF JUST LIL TIDBITS ABOUT DANNY

CHARACTER INSPIRATION: jonathan van ness & tan france (queer eye), eric ‘bitty’ bittle (omgcp), felix dawkins (orphan black)

danny still wears makeup every day and takes great pride in his appearance. basically, he vain as fuck. when he first started experimenting with make up and clothing, it was definitely in some way to be very Out with who he was— think like those classic scene neon colors in eyeshadows and bright pink lips. and oh yeah, he definitely had the chucks in ever color. as he’s gotten older, his sense has definitely grown and now he looks back at those pictures and cringes. 

he’s still very active!! he goes to the gym for the treadmill and machines sometimes but most of his physical activity is walking around the high school track with his mama on nights- she does it to keep herself fit and he does it to keep her company. he keeps toying with the idea of teaching tumbling or cheer classes on week nights/weekends but it hasn’t become a real thing as of yet. 

he has a bright yellow ‘68 volkswagen beetle that is his baby.

baking is a stress reliever for him so friends be prepared for gifts of cookies, pies and banana bread. 

he’s super social!! he’ll talk to anyone and he’ll talk your ear off. honestly, don’t be afraid to tell him to shut up because you’ll be lucky if you can get a word in edgewise.

danny loves to dance- he doesn’t care if you’re a guy or a gal, he’ll still spin you across the floor and have one helluva time doing it. 

even though danny is very effeminate in his day to day, he’s still a country boy. he loves fishing, shooting ( not a big hunter, just never really enjoyed killing animals for sport ) and camping- though, let’s be real, no one prefers sleeping in a tent over a camper. he doesn’t like to get dirty and messy but he absolutely can and will have a blast doing so.

church had always been a big part of danny’s life growing up and even after coming out, he still went every time the doors were open with his family. his attendance dropped off during college but since coming home, he’s back in the pew every sunday. 

A COUPLE POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS ( FOR THOSE OF YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO GET THIS FAR) 

HIGH SCHOOL CONNECTIONS;; small town means that everyone and their mom knows you. was your character a few years older or younger or graduated the same time? maybe they were friends, enemies, rivals, acquaintances, teammates, or math class buddies? maybe they went to school with one of danny’s siblings or were even a friend who dealt with annoying lil brother danny being in everything? i’m up for anything you can come up with on this! 

SCHOOL PARENTS;; maybe your character has a kid or younger sibling in danny’s class! 

NEIGHBORS;; danny lives in a lil apartment complex in town so!! anyone who also happens to be living in an apartment hmu and say howdy neighbor! 

FELLOW TEACHERS;; listen danny needs friends to go out for drinks at the catfish on fridays after school. happy hour margaritas anyone? 

HONESTLY ANYTHING ELSE YALL CAN COME UP WITH I’M HERE FOR IT! 

[khadij-al-kubra]

Recuérdame

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warning: Some swearing, near-panic attack, implied hanky-panky

Word Count: 3733

Summary: Virgil and Roman have been in a steady relationship for two years. It’s been some of the happiest times in Virgil’s life, but with Roman flying off to college all the way in New York soon, he is worried if they’re love will survive the long distance. So Roman reassures him in the best way he knows how.

Author’s Note: Okay, so I’ve wanted to write a Prinxiety piece for a while and finally got a good idea for one after @altruistic-skittles and @queer-human-being talked about Roman speaking in Spanish. Despite being half Nicaraguan myself, I am sadly not that fluent in Spanish. So to all of my fellow Latino readers/bloggers I hope I got the translation accurate and do you proud. I hope you enjoy this one-shot fluff. 

As always leave a comment if you have any feedback or constructive critiques on the writing. I am always looking to improve.

AO3

This was definitely Virgil’s favorite thing to do with his boyfriend (well, his favorite PG thing anyways). Just lying on the couch together in their PJs, eating snacks, and staying up late watching Disney movies. Tonight’s selection was one of their favorites, Lilo and Stitch. Roman, being the lovable cheese-ball that he was, wore his Stitch t-shirt and red sweatpants. Virgil of course was in his favorite purple flannel pants and Jack Skellington shirt. He snuggled back into Roman’s chest, soaking in the warmth his boyfriend radiated.

Enjoy it while it lasts Virgil. You won’t get to do this for a long time. No more cuddling on the couch, no more sarcastic teasing, no intimate nights in bed, no tender moments...

Since his parents were out of town Virgil had the house to himself (yeah, his Dad and Ren were actually pretty cool), so he’d invited Roman to spend the weekend together. It was the last week of summer break before college started and Virgil was dreading the end of it. By tomorrow afternoon Roman would be on a plane to New York for his orientation week. Roman would be going to acting school there and Virgil would stay behind in Florida attending community college.

He knew it was the right thing. Going to college out of state would’ve been too much for his anxiety and Roman was meant for more. He had such big goals, so many dreams to follow. The guy had gotten offered a full ride scholarship to the NYU TISH School of Performing Arts for crying out loud! Not only would Roman have been an idiot to turn it down, but Virgil would be a pretty crappy boyfriend if he let him.

He and Roman agreed that they were going to give the long distance thing a try. Their best friends had both come up with a list of ways to help too. Logan made a Skype schedule for them to follow that wouldn’t be too hard on their sleep habits (not that Virgil got much sleep anyways with his insomnia) but also gave them time to themselves. And Patton had suggested they go old school and write letters to each other weekly because it was ‘more intimate’ than just plain old texts, and it prevented the pitfall of excessive communication. They also found the cheapest prices and dates for flights between Florida and New York so they could take turns visiting during breaks. Virgil was touched by the effort, but he still couldn’t shake the fears that clouded his mind. He was more than willing to make it work and knew that Roman was too…

…But what if they grew apart despite their efforts to stay together? What if Roman got too busy with school and theater for Virgil? What if the long distance proved to be too much for them to handle, especially Virgil. What if Roman met someone more interesting and cheated on him? No! Roman never was and never would be the cheating type. But then what if Roman wanted to be with someone else but still stayed with Virgil and grew to resent him for it? What if they forget how much they care for each other? How were they supposed to remember if they wouldn’t see each other everyday, couldn’t hug or kiss or—

“Virgil darling, breathe!” said Roman.

The negative thoughts had snuck up on him so quickly. He only now realized how small his lungs felt. Oh great, his stupid anxiety was going to ruin their last night together! Suddenly Roman’s face was in front of him, the edges bleary. He heard Roman telling him to copy his breathing. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8… Pretty soon he could feel his lungs again, see more clearly. After dating for so long Roman knew how to bring Virgil back from the brink. He swallowed down a big gulp of air.

“Feeling better?” Roman asked as he stroked his hair soothingly.

“Yeah…thanks Ro,” said Virgil. “That would’ve been a bad one.”

“Do you need a glass of water or something?”

“Nah…I’m okay now. Let’s just…get back to the movie.”

“Oh no you don’t. We’re going to talk about this first.” Roman picked up the remote and put the film on pause.

“I’m fine Roman. Seriously. Let. It. Go.”

“No, I am not going to ‘Let it Go’ ice queen,” Roman crossed his arms. “You nearly had a panic attack just now and I doubt it was from Lilo getting kidnapped by Captain Gantu. Something’s been on your mind all night, don’t think I haven’t noticed. So please Virge, talk to me. What’s troubling you?”

“You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“Do I ever?”

Virgil sighed. He just wanted to have one last perfect night with his love. But Roman was right. Talking it out did help sometimes, and since this had to do with their relationship, Roman deserved to know.

“It’s just…I’ve been thinking about…how this is gonna be the last night we’ll be together for a long while. And how—I mean—this is—we’re—argh!”

“You’re still worried about us being long distance.”

“More like scared shitless but yeah.”

“I understand, and that’s okay. Know why? Because we are going to stay together. Yes, this is a big change but it’s one that we can control. We’ll call and Skype and even try Patton’s idea of writing letters. Long distance relationships are hard but not impossible if true love is on its side.” Virgil rolled his eyes but Roman the romantic was undeterred. “Just look at my parents. Mom was all the way in San Francisco while Ma was over here, and look at them now. They made it work and so can we!”

“Until you find someone better than me.”

Shoot! Virgil hadn’t meant for that to slip out. But it was out there now. Ah geez, Roman must hate him for sure. Virgil couldn’t look him in the eye, didn’t deserve to.

“Virgil Burke, look at me,” Roman said, tilting Virgil’s chin up. “What do you see?”

“A big idiot?” asked Virgil teasingly.

“Your boyfriend.”

“Same thing.”

“And I think it’s fair to say that I, your boyfriend, am quite the catch, right? After all I’m talented, charming, handsome, popular, and it’s no secret that I caught many an eye back in high school. Frankly I could probably have any man I wanted—

“Get to the point Princy, ‘cuz so far this ain’t cheering me up!”

“My point is…I could easily be with someone else, but I’m not because you’re the only man I ever want to be with. My heart belongs to you.” To emphasis this, Roman took Virgil’s hand and held it over his heart. “I am yours and you are mine. Nothing and no one will ever change that. I won’t let it! And I know that you won’t either Virgil because you protect the things you love, including us. Remember that! Alright?”

As much as his anxiety kept telling him otherwise, he knew Roman was right. They’d already lasted longer as a couple than Virgil ever dared to hope they would. If they’ve come this far together, then maybe they could get through this next chapter as well. He looked up at Roman’s warm smiling face, saw the tenderness in his eyes, and somehow it was enough to mitigate the fears, at least a little bit.

“Alright,” said Virgil, hugging him around the waist. “Thanks babe.”

“Any time, my dark and stormy knight.” Roman hugged him back. “In fact…this is a perfect segue. Be right back!”

Roman let him go and practically leaped off the couch as he rushed into Virgil’s room down the hall. What the heck was that drama king up to? Still, Virgil couldn’t help but smile and shake his head. He was gonna miss his boyfriend’s spontaneity. He heard Roman exclaim aha from the other room and then he was back, carrying Virgil’s black acoustic guitar.

“I have a surprise for you. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while,” said Roman, sitting back down and positioning the guitar properly.

“Since when do you know how to play guitar?” he asked.

“Well, technically, I only know how to play one song. I’ve been teaching myself for the past month. Seriously, how do you deal with the blisters? My fingers have never hurt so much in my life!”

“Years of building up callouses Princy, no pain no gain.” In all seriousness though, Virgil was impressed. Not many people could learn a new instrument in a month.

“Yes, well, I wanted to give you something special. To show you how much…how much I love you, and that no amount of distance is going to change or make me forget that.”

No way. He was seriously about to be serenaded by Roman friggin’ Soldato?Virgil hadn’t even heard him play yet and already he was moved by the gesture.

“So. Ready to be wooed edge-lord?” Roman asked, wiggling his brows.

“Eh, I guess.” Virgil smirked at Roman’s offended scoff. “Kidding. Go ’head. Play that funky music white boy,”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m half Puerto Rican, right?”

“Really? Huh.” That was news to him. Although it did explain how he knew Spanish. “What’s the other half?”

“Italian,” said Roman, adjusting the guitar clamp and testing the strings.

“Cool.” Even after two years together, Virgil was still learning new things about his boyfriend.  Roman never ceased to amaze him.

“Out of curiosity, what are you?”

“An abomination,” he said, referencing the movie they were watching.

“True, but you’re my abomination.” They both laughed.

“Alright, hit it…mi amor.”

He smiled shyly at his boyfriend, trying to hide the heat that showed so obviously on his pale face. Virgil was happy to see that Roman’s olive toned cheeks were a shade or two redder as well. It was nice when he got to make the flamboyant boy flustered once in a while. Roman smiled back at him so warmly and began to play. The intro was familiar to Virgil. It was the main song from Coco. They had just watched it together for the first time last month. Roman had been reduced to a blubbering mess. Virgil on the other hand…okay he’d cried too, but come on. You’d have to be totally heartless not to.

And then, Roman sang.

“Remember me

Though I have to say goodbye

Remember me

Don’t let it make you cry

For even if I’m far away I hold you in my heart

I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart”

He couldn’t help the sigh that slipped from his lips. Virgil really did love Roman’s singing voice. It was just so…lovely. It could belt out powerhouse notes like a thunderstorm, but also be as soothing as whispering wind through summer leaves. Whenever Virgil had a particularly bad panic attack, Roman gently sang to him afterwards, all while stroking his hair and holding him in those strong protective arms. It was one of Virgil’s favorite things.

“Recuérdame

Aunque tenga que emigrar”

Virgil smirked. “Show off.”

“You know you love it. Recuérdame

Si mi guitarra oyes llorar

Ella con su triste canto te acompañará

Hasta que en mis brazos tú estés

Recuérdame”

Yeah, he did love it. And Roman. So much it choked him up sometimes, how much he could feel for just one person. And to have that same amazing man who should’ve been way out of his league not only feel the same but now show it by serenading him in Spanish…Virgil would never figure out how he got so lucky. And he didn’t care. For once, Virgil wanted to just enjoy something without letting his anxiety spoil it.

In typical Roman fashion, he added a little improve guitar flare in the break. He hit a couple of sour notes, but played through it with a sheepish grin (too adorable) and went into the next part, getting more of a groove into it.

“Que nuestra canción no deje de latir

Solo con tu amor yo puedo existir

Que nuestra canción no deje de latir

Solo con tu amor yo puedo existir

Recuérdame”

Virgil didn’t recognize this part from the film. Leave it to Roman to learn the full version of a Disney song, and in Spanish no less. Was there anything he couldn’t do?

“Si en tu mente vivo estoy

Recuérdame

Mis sueños yo te doy

Te llevo en mi corazón y te acompañaré

Unidos en nuestra canción

Contigo ahí estaré

Recuérdame”

Virgil didn’t know too much Spanish but he was able to understand a few of the words. It was something about Roman’s mind and heart. Like, he would carry Virgil with him wherever he’d go, even as far away as New York.

“Si sola crees estar

Recuérdame

Y mi cantar te irá a abrazaru

Aun en la distancia nunca vayas a olvidar

Que yo contigo siempre voy

Recuérdame”

Virgil felt Roman’s love for him pouring out of each note and guitar string, tugging at his own heartstrings. Felt Roman reassuring him through the song that they would always be in each other’s hearts. No amount of distance could change the bond they had. After all they’d been through, their love was too strong.

“If you close your eyes and let the music play

Keep our love alive, I’ll never fade away

Cierra tus ojos y que la musica fluya

Deja que el amor viva, nunca me desmayaré

If you close your eyes and let the music play

Keep our love alive, I’ll NE-VER fade awaaaay!”

That last belt felt as if Roman had basically ripped his own heart out and shoved it into Virgil’s hands. Any doubts and fears he’d had about keeping their relationship alive long distance ended right there. Virgil swallowed the lump in his throat, yet the tears streamed silently down his cheeks. He noticed that Roman’s eyes were getting watery too. Yet ever the performer he held through as he came to the last verse, slowing the melody back down to a lullaby.

“Remember me

For I will soon be gone

Remember me

And let the love we have live on

So know that I’m with you the only way that I can be

Until you’re in my arms agaaain

Reee-mem-berrr…me.”

The guitar fell gracelessly from Romans hands onto the ground with a clank, but Virgil couldn’t give a damn. He immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding tight as Roman sobbed into his shoulder. Little known fact: the popular princely actor was an ugly crier. Full on water works, puffy face, and runny nose. Virgil was one of the few people Roman let himself cry in front of and Virgil took that honor seriously. He rubbed soothing circles on Roman’s back, rocking him as the normally steady boy soaked his sleeve in tears and snot.

It took a minute or two for Roman to calm down. He squeezed Virgil’s arm to let him know he was better now. Virgil let him sit back up but used his thumb to wipe away the last few tears.

“I’m sorry,” said Roman with a sniffle. “I didn’t mean to r-ruin the song—or d-drop your guitar—it’s just—

“Shhh. It’s okay. Forget about that.”

“No, it’s not okay. I wanted this to be perfect! I just,“ Roman let out a shuddered breath. “I know we’ll be okay. I know in my gut that you and I are meant to have a happily ever after, but I’m still…so scared! Not just about us but everything! This is all so BIG, and as excited as I am about this new adventure I’m still terrified because what if I’m not good enough? What if I’m out-done by all the other amazing performers at that school? I mean for the love of Hamilton, this is NEW YORK for crying out loud! What if I can’t handle the pressure? And I won’t have you there to lean on or reassure me or tell me straight to my face when I’m being ridiculous or laugh with me about the stupid drama and silliness going on and I-I’m just going to MISS you so—

Virgil cut off his babbling boyfriend with a desperate kiss, pouring all the love and pride he felt for Roman into it. He felt the other boy practically melt into him, matching his kiss with equal fervency. When they pulled back Virgil cupped his face and looked Roman dead into those gorgeous hazel eyes he loved so much.

“You’re amazing. You’re strong. You’re gonna blow them all away, so don’t you dare for a second doubt that! I loved the song Roman, and I love you.”

Roman gave a shuddered smiled and leaned into Virgil’s hand, covering it with his own. “I love you too Virgil. So, so much!”

Virgil smiled at his words. Then he leaned forward to pepper Roman’s face with gentle kisses. One on each eyelid, then on each cheek, one on his forehead, and finally another kiss on the lips; He loved how soft those lips were. Roman leaned in to deepen the kiss. The passion of it sent shivers down Virgil’s spine, and when they broke away both were left breathless. Roman pulled him close and just held him.

No place in the world felt safer or more like home than in Roman’s arms. Virgil rested his head on Roman’s broad chest, heard his heartbeat. Ordinarily he found it relaxing but tonight, knowing that Roman would be on a plane flying far away from him tomorrow, it set his blood aflame. He mourned the loss of warmth as Roman released him to pick back up the guitar and lean it gently against the wall.

“So,” said Roman, picking back up the remote, “shall we finish the movie?”

Virgil took the remote control from his hand and turned the TV off completely. He tossed it onto the coffee table, stood up and grabbed Roman’s hand.

“Forget the movie,” he said. “I’ve got a better idea.”

If this was going to be their last night alone together for a while, then Virgil wanted them to spend it wrapped in each other’s arms. Roman seemed to get the message as he let himself be tugged behind by Virgil towards the bedroom.

“Ooh, I like this idea,” Roman said with a devilishly handsome grin.

“Princy, I’m about to give you a night you’re gonna remember for a looog time.”

* * * * *

Virgil stifled a yawn. He was exhausted from the night before, but it had been worth it. Except now there was no delaying the inevitable. Logan and Patton had come early in the morning to say goodbye as well. Logan was his usual stoic self, but Virgil swore he saw a tear in the corner of his eye behind those glasses as he clasped Roman’s hand. As expected Patton was a bawling mess, and Logan practically had to pry his boyfriend off of Roman. At least Virgil still had them. They could all miss Roman together.

They were in the back seat of the SUV (his moms had let Virgil come along) driving to the airport. All of the actor’s bags were in the trunk and Roman’s Ma was singing along to an old Santana song while his Mom drove. Neither of the to-be college boys had spoken the entire ride. There was nothing to be said that hadn’t already been expressed last night. Virgil just savored the sensation of them holding hands, their fingers laced and his head resting in the crook of his boyfriend’s shoulder. Roman gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he smiled.

They got to the airport with the usual insanity and traffic. When they got to just outside of the security check, the farthest they could go without a ticket, the Soldato family said their goodbyes. Roman was sniffling just as much as his Mom, while his Ma practically squeezed the life out her son with one of her famous pick-up-off-the-ground-bear hugs (Virgil’s ribs had suffered it once or twice before). Afterwards they gave Virgil and Roman some privacy to say their own goodbyes.

“Well…this is it,” said Roman, gripping his suitcase handle. “Into the unknown.”

“Yeah,” said Virgil, tugging at the sleeve of his patchwork hoodie. “Call me as soon as you land, alright?”

“I will.”

“And make sure you check your dorm for bed bugs. It is New York after all.”

“Ew, but I shall.”

“And I know it’s like a right of passage or whatever but don’t go eating from the hot dog carts. You don’t know what kind of toxic crap they make ‘em with.”

“Well now you sound like Logan.”

“How dare you,” he deadpanned. “Seriously though Ro. Take care of yourself.

“I will. And you too Virge,” Roman smiled. “Don’t go skipping meals while I’m not there to remind you to eat.”

“Now you sound like Patton.”

They both laughed. God he loved Roman’s laugh, so warm and full of life. It won’t be the last time you hear it, he told himself. You’ll be together again soon and talk even sooner than that. They gave each other one last hug, holding onto each other for dear life. Then Roman leaned down to kiss him and Virgil kissed back with all the love he felt. They broke apart, foreheads touching, and just stayed that way for a while.

“Recuérdame Roman,” Virgil whispered.

“Para siempre mi corazón,” Roman whispered back.

Finally they let go. Roman did still have a flight to catch. He grabbed his suitcase and trudged to the security line, turning to blow one final kiss at Virgil. He waved back, smiling at his beloved boyfriend before turning to go. It took everything he had not to turn around and run back to Roman, but he had to, for both of their sakes.

Yes, it would be hard being apart, but they’d be okay. They would make it work and their relationship would stay just as strong, if not grow stronger. No matter how much Virgil’s stupid anxiety tried to tell him otherwise, no matter how far away or busy Roman might be for a little while, no matter the fears, nothing could make them forget how much they loved each other.

[my-name-is-reginald-george]

Regina’s First Pride

Regina’s outfit was meticulously planned: a light pink crop top with dark pink high waisted shorts, pale pink Vans and knee-high lesbian flag socks. She looked hot, if she did say so herself, and she marched up the steps to Janis’ front door like she owned the place, her bag full of carefully selected tubes of paint thrown haphazardly over her shoulder.

Janis answered the door looking more excited than Regina had ever seen her. She was wearing the same ripped black shorts layered over tights that she wore every day, a borderline fashion crime that Regina had grown surprisingly fond of, but she’d swapped out her usual baggy jacket with a red checkered flannel and wearing ten times more gay than she’d ever dare at school. Rainbow socks peeked out of rainbow-laced combat boots, her black t-shirt had the words “I’m gay” written in big rainbow letters on the front, she was wearing a rainbow belt and even fucking rainbow suspenders.

She was grinning so big that Regina decided it didn’t even matter that her flannel clashed with all the rainbow accessories.

“So are you excited for your first pride?!” Janis asked, her eyes lighting up in that way that had Regina swooning just a little.

“Very excited,” Regina said. “Thanks so much for coming with.”

“Of course!” Janis said. “We’re all friends now. Oh, and Damien said to tell you he wishes he could be here and sends his love from Florida.”

Regina laughed. She loved her friends.

Since getting hit by the bus near the end of last year, she’d lost a lot of her power. Sure, people still moved out of her way in the halls, and she could still make freshmen boys cry with a well placed glare, but people were less intimidated by her, less worshipful.

However, she’d strengthened her relationships with both Karen and Gretchen, cutting out the power dynamics of their old friendships and replacing them with sleepovers and movie marathons and secrets that actually stayed secret. Also, with the help of an over enthusiastic Cady, she’d become pretty good friends with Janis and Damien. The latter was easy as she and Damien were both very extra and very gay, and once she stopped being a massive bitch, friendship between the two was almost effortless. They spent a lot of time together in Damien’s basement binge watching RuPaul and painting each other’s nails.

Janis had been harder. Another downside to not being a massive bitch was that you actually had to feel things, and as soon as Regina had allowed herself to have human emotions, which happened to be at the end of Spring Fling, she’d been hit with a wave of guilt so hard that she thought she was going to throw up. She immediately stumbled over to Janis, tears forming in her eyes and apologies rolling off her lips. Admittedly, it must have been quite the sight: Regina George in all her spinal halo-d glory, mascara streaking down her face as she bawled her eyes out to Janis Sarkisian.

Eventually, Janis had realized that Regina was on a lot of drugs and probably was not going to stop crying anytime soon, so she dragged her outside the school and sat her down on a bench, trying to calm the hysterics.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but please forgive me,” Regina had said, looking down at her lap.

“I forgave you as soon as you got hit by that bus,” Janis said back.

Regina had looked up at that, catching Janis’ soft smile and giving her a rather watery one back.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna trust you right away, and doesn’t mean I’m not gonna totally make you make it up to me, but yeah. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I tried to mess up your life, and I’m sorry you got hit by that bus.”

“Don’t be, I deserved it,” Regina had told her, laughing bitterly.

Janis had shook her head, looked directly into her eyes and said something Regina would never forget, “You didn’t deserve to die, if only for a few seconds.”

The air was tense around them for a few seconds before Janis had shrugged and added, “Maybe you deserved Cady stealing your boyfriend, though. I’m not all that sorry about that one.”

“They’re cute together. And besides, I didn’t really care about Aaron all that much. Or Shane. Or any guy, for that matter.”

And that was how Regina George had come out to Janis Sarkisian.

Since then, she and Janis had gone from tolerating each other, to kind of enjoying each other’s presence, to actively making plans to hang out, to becoming friends. They still weren’t as close as they were in eighth grade, and Janis was still more closed off with Regina than she was with the others, but Janis was even more amazing that Regina remembered, and their friendship was so much more than she deserved.

So, yeah, Regina might not be the HBIC she used to be, but she wouldn’t trade any of her friends for all of that power back. She was glad to be a part of their odd group of plastics and art freaks and Aaron and even the mathletes, who were way more tolerable than Regina would have ever expected.

“Earth to Regina,” Janis teased, waving her hand in front of Regina’s face.

“Sorry, what?” Regina said, blushing a little.

Janis just rolled her eyes goodnaturedly and grabbed Regina’s wrist, pulling her into her house and shutting the door behind them.

“I said we need to get your face paint done so we can head out.”

Ten minutes later, Regina and Janis were sat on the kitchen floor, Regina’s paints between them. Janis was painting a little lesbian pride flag on Regina’s right cheek, careful strokes of pink streaking across delicate skin.

“So what were you thinking about that had you zoning out earlier?” Janis asked, swirling her brush in a cup of water set off to the side.

“Just how much I love you losers,” Regina said with a smile. Only a few months ago, she would’ve been loathe to admit she cared about them at all, but a lot had changed in those few months.

“It’s nice when your friends aren’t just your friends because they’re scared of you, isn’t it?” Janis said, giving Regina a look that was half pointed half teasing.

Regina rolled her eyes and murmured in agreement just as Janis’ stomach growled. She looked up at Janis, who was still painting and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Jan?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Did you eat this morning?”

“No,” Janis mumbled, still not meeting Regina’s eye.

Regina huffed.

“Babe, we talked about this. How many times do Cady and I have to tell you that it’s not healthy to skip breakfast? Especially not when we’re about to be out walking around in the sun for hours. You need something on your stomach to keep your strength, ideally protein.”

Janis furrowed her brow, continuing to paint Regina’s face with more concentration than was probably necessary. She finished the last stripe before answering.

“I just forgot this morning because I was so excited about pride. Geez, you don’t have to give me a lecture.”

Regina bit back the, “Clearly, I do,” on the tip of her tongue.

“You’re right,” she said instead. “I shouldn’t have been so condescending about it. It’s your life and your health, so I can’t tell you what to do. I just care about you and want you to be healthy, Jan. Can I make you some eggs?”

Janis seemed thoroughly surprised with that and nodded dumbly, moving to get the eggs out of the fridge.

“I guess you’re kinda right, too,” she said, her back to Regina. “I should take better care of myself.”

Regina smirked in victory and grabbed a pan from the cabinet below the stove. She turned on the burner and popped a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster while she waited for it to heat up. Janis packed the paints back up while Regina scrambled an egg on the stove.

“I see you’ve made yourself something, too,” Janis grinned, eyeing Regina’s toast, which she’d covered in peanut butter and bananas, once they were sat at the table.

“Yeah, well, I figured it’d be awkward if I just sat here and watched you eat.”

Janis shrugged, scooping a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

“That’s fair.”

After they ate, Janis tried to leave immediately, but Regina dragged Janis back into the kitchen by one of her suspenders and made her help with the dishes, arguing that it wasn’t fair to Janis’ single mother to leave dirty breakfast dishes out.

When they finally left, Janis spent a solid five minutes trying to convince Regina to hop on the back of her motorcycle, but although Regina had become a lot nicer and more considerate of other people’s thoughts and feelings, she was still the most stubborn person at Northshore, and she was decidedly not going to ride on the bike any time soon.

They went in Regina’s little black hybrid convertible (Regina may have been a bitch, but she’d always cared about the environment, she was just more vocal about it now). Janis nabbed the aux cord and forced Regina to listen to Arctic Monkeys, a band the blonde refused to admit she kinda liked, and soon enough, they were searching for a parking spot.

“Alright, so we’re gonna watch the parade, and then we’re gonna go hang out in a nearby field for the rest of the day,” Janis said as they got out of the car.

“A field?” Regina said, cocking her head to the side. Just because she cared about the environment didn’t mean she really enjoyed being outdoors. Outdoors was dirty, and she didn’t have the time, the patience, or the outfits for dirt.

Janis smirked and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her towards an empty spot on the side of the street.

“Trust me, princess. You’re gonna love it.”

Regina loved it. When the first float passed, a bunch of drag queens voguing to Lady Gaga, she decided immediately that this was going to be one of the best experiences of her life. Apparently, the people who marched in these parades tended to hand out something, like candy or ribbons or pins or plastic mardi gras necklaces. All of Regina’s things went into her backpack, but Janis wore anything she possibly could, which included tucking a lollipop in a rainbow wrapper behind her ear and pouting when it fell on the concrete and cracked.

Regina got the attention of a lot of the queer girl marchers (which, like, duh. Have you seen her?), and Janis attracted a fair amount of girls, too, which increased the amount of stuff they got tenfold, making her doubly glad she brought her backpack. Regina could have sworn Janis’ megawatt smile dampened every time one of the marchers, or sometimes other onlookers, would ask for Regina’s number. She shook off the feeling, figuring she was probably just being delusional and remembering that she was still trying to get over her (not so) small crush on Janis, and ended up pulling a pen from her bag and writing her number down on a fair amount of hands, ending up with a few written up her own arm.

After the parade was over, Janis bought them tacos from one of the food trucks parked in the field where the rest of the event was being held. They sat on a picnic bench a little ways away from the makeshift stage where the hayley kiyoko cover band was playing. She smiled softly at Janis, kicking at her ankle and taking a big bite out of her taco. There was something about being surrounded by other queer people that was just magical and right.

If you had told junior year Regina George that she was going to feel happier than she ever had when she was sitting on a picnic table outside, dressed like a human lesbian pride flag and eating greasy food truck tacos next to Janis Sarkisian of all people, she would have laughed in your face. But there Regina was, feeling nothing but cheerfulness and utter belonging.

[justwords]

Time Loops Who would you be if you could bend time and space and rewrite yourself from scratch? by Corey Saucier

If there were another you, in another universe, on a different planet, in a separate timeline, with a multiverse of separate experiences that are infinitely varied from your own, and they are standing in a field with a different colored sky—but still unquestionably you, what would that look like? Who would “you” be? And would the difference matter? Or would you, he, her, and them still ALL be the same?

And what letter would they have taped across their chest?

I have tried to write this article three times before, and each try has been just a fraction of a decimal point different enough to change the trajectory of my train of thought. This is attempt number four….

Attempt number ONE was about “words on a page,” and how those words could be rearranged into many different sentences that could be interpreted to have a million different meanings. But that if “you pulled the camera back” they were all just dots on a page: Fundamentally small (whatever that means) but full of potential. It was very grandiose, abstract, and metaphysical—but a little vague…and it kind of fizzled out pretty quickly. Something that can happen if you start with a gimmick. Not that I would ever use a gimmick to get a piece of writing done.

*Stares directly into the camera and winks.*

The SECOND time I began to write, I thought I would ground the essay in some sort of “time and place” as writers are taught to do. So I opened the story with me sitting in my living room half-naked drinking lemonade and eating gummy bears, while Drag Queens (our modern day superheroes) performed ridiculously terrible music through the speakers of my computer, and I pretended to be a six-foot-six German alien supermodel with a thirty-two inch blond silk weave; whipping it back and forth like the world’s best hair-ography for a music video as I screamed: “This is my hair. I don’t wear wigs! THIS IS MY HAIR!”

*I promise you I’ve been absolutely sober for two months.*

I think I was trying to say something about “joy and reimagining yourself” but sometimes I get carried away with my metaphors…. The next day I took my laptop to the cemetery and continued to write…I was inspired. But because I was no longer in my apartment, and the piece was written in present tense, and I try to always tell the truth, I rewrote the intro and incorporated the light scent of rose, lavender, and fresh-cut grass. I wrote little cute vignettes that followed the free-range peacocks: with their iridescent emerald green feathers preening as they paraded themselves gracefully over graves. And I followed suspiciously aggressive swans as they glided across a manmade lake in the spring sunlight, like living gondolas ferrying love stories a hundred years old. And with a kiss of wind against my skin—and all that life flourishing around Hollywood Forever cemetery, I started thinking of the dead. And the thousand untold stories interred in stone and marble. All the flapper girls in beaded dresses, and jazz musicians with hand-rolled cigars, and World War II vets with their heroism and tragedy, and the stunning Rudolph Valentino lying just a few feet away, with his sultry eyes and olive skin, and lips as delicious as strawberries…and all the men and women who died of AIDS and other things who were buried quietly under my feet. And because I am currently writing a novel about magic, and queerness, and the incarnations of spirit—like the beautiful death goddess Oya—and how death and rebirth are inextricably linked, I was on a roll…and that’s when my computer shut off and I lost everything!

OH HELL NO!

*Nope.*

No more writing in cemeteries.

So this is the FOURTH and last version of the same story. And this go-around the story is about “timelines and trajectories,” about multiple universes abiding in similar transparent dimensions—and how every version of life, though different in a million-billion ways, is still EXACTLY the same. Because the Universe is infinite, and time is relative, and it unravels in many, many lines. And because the person I was ten yeas ago, and ten stories ago, and ten minutes ago are both different AND the same, there is always opportunity to begin again. To be ME again. But differently.

Because time loops.

This, you can learn by picking up any comic book: There are at least two versions of you, each wearing a different costume, with a different backstory, standing in a field under a different color sky.

Who would you be if you could bend time and space and rewrite yourself from scratch? Because you can, you know? Nothing changes that—not even having HIV. Superman always saves the world! Even in the timeline when he has no powers….

So who will you be this time?

Love and Light.