#radfems are fucking weird to me

[na-na-namine]

Welcome to tumblr 2024, where we've moved past elaborate character analyses and indulgent readings into queer subtext to… ignoring subtext entirely and shipping a lesbian icon with a gay cowboy.

[arundolyn]

obsessed with how clearly terfy weird bitches on here will say shit when called out for saying terf shit like "um well ACTUALLY maybe you think i sound like a terf because you identify normal feminists as terfs?? 🤔"

and then make absolutely no effort not to use transmisogynistic rhetoric and say weird shit that very very obviously is transphobia, like using terms like "trans rights activists" and "trans identified" and think they're so sneaky and nobody notices?

yeah i don't support all women. some of you bitches are terminally stupid

[grrrlwiththemostcake]

Apparently my teacher got arrested for sleeping with students.

I was in shock hearing that especially he supported my feminist views and he was one of those "fight the patriarchy!" people and now im starting to think that was all an act to get closer with me. Me and my friends realized how weird he was especially to us girls, we didn't realize it before but we wish we knew it sooner.

This is one of the reasons why I'm wary of men who say they are a "feminist", a lot of the time they're not. Every man is a misogynist asshole. Fuck that teacher. I wish for the best for the victims they truly doesn't deserve that.

[littlegildedswallow]

radfems LOVE to use women with eating disorders as gotcha stats, but actually having compassion for ed'ed women ? ofc not.

mentally ill traumatized women acting like mentally ill traumatized women ? sacrilegious ! attention whore with a superiority complex.

[jewishcissiekj]

Tumblr what

what is this

Imagine being this lifeless

just nothing to do in your life and with your Tumblr blog but be trasphobic

Anywayyyyyyy WONDER WOMAN SUPPORTS TRANS RIGHTS FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE

gonna ratio a bunch of this blog's posts with a trans flag and the word gender bc that apparently scares radfems

[dovedrangeas]

no body part is evil btw

[alleycat4eva]

Honestly you're just a dick that purposely misinterprets things so that their republican overlords dont look as evil as they are.

Making sexual orientation illegal to even mention to children under 10 will mean that republicans will try to arrest gay parents.

[tinyvampire]

putting personal shit in the tags as i do, u have been warned. (tw heavy depression stuff, including SI)

[pillarsalt]

hi um

I was? transmasc but recently I’ve been seeing a lot of really misogynistic sexist transphobic stuff from trans community and it’s just been totally accepted, even by other transmascs. It’s been going on for a while but recently there was a murder of a nonbinary afab person and yet the whole trans community here has been silent, instead screaming about a transfem user being banned or something? This isn’t the first time an afab trans persons suffering has been dismissed, but now right after this awful death, i see transfems making posts about how transmascs talking about their oppression are terfs.

I didn’t want to think about it but all i could think about was that it was weird how despite everyone claiming trans men have all this privilege, trans women always come first…they get the most representation, they get the fame the admiration and the opportunities, their voices are always the loudest and their problems always always come first no matter what.

But despite popular belief trans men’s issues aren’t actually less significant, in some cases we suffer far more than trans women especially in regard to sexual violence. Yet we are silenced. We are frequently left poor, we are discriminated against for our sex we are discriminated against for being trans we are discriminated against for being perceived as lesbians. Yet we are made to be silent?

Why are our voices less important than trans women’s?

And all I could think about was that this is how females are treated in every other area.

I don’t know what else to say… I tried so hard not to reach that conclusion because I don’t want to be transmysogynist but I kept coming back to it and I couldn’t find an argument against it. This is how females are treated. This is what male privilege look like. And if trans women have male privilege, then why the fuck am I sitting here letting them talk over me?

I just feel really really angry. Your a blog who I liked your art but I blocked you when I discovered you were a radfem, but I sort of had you in the back of my mind for some reason and now I feel lost and confused, and I don’t think I want to be part of the trans community anymore.

Hey anon, firstly I really appreciate your willingness to have an open discussion with me. This must be weighing on you pretty heavily.

Secondly, holy shit, you're right. While the entire website is treating this user's ban as a national travesty, I haven't seen a single person talking about Nex's murder despite how much they claim to care about trans people. That's really fucking low, and this situation does very much encapsulate the state of misogyny within the trans community.

And you're right, this IS how females are treated in every other area. Throughout history, the suffering and injustice women face is minimized, laughed at, ignored, and when we want to talk about it, we're shut down and told we're making people uncomfortable and our pain isn't that bad. And here we are again, with a female person's death outweighed by a male person's inconvenience.

The denial of sex-based oppression that permeates trans spaces is a blatant lie that can only be held together if nobody is allowed to acknowledge it, and those who do are punished. If the trans community truly stood behind what they say, discussion would be encouraged! The foundation of their movement would be backed up with facts and replicable science! But instead, they'll call you a bigot for pointing out systems of oppression you can see with your own eyes. Because if you do, transwomen's position as Most Oppressed, and therefore the final authority on what's right and wrong, collapses. You are correct when you say that it seems like transwomen always come first; I don't remember who said it first, but just look at magazine covers featuring trans people -- the transwomen are fully clothed CEOs, athletes, movie stars, but transmen mostly get on magazine covers for... being pregnant and half naked. Misogyny is built into every society on earth, and individuals simply calling themselves something else doesn't change that. And when you give male people free reign to be as misogynistic as they want without consequence, they'll grab that opportunity and hold on like their lives depend on it. The way they weaponize transmen's sex against them is indistinguishable from what 'cis' men do to 'cis' women, but if you ever speak out about it, somehow YOU'RE the one hurting THEM. They do not want transmascs to find solidarity with other female people, because then they would have to face the reality of their own place in a patriarchal world, and face the fact that there are experiences exclusive to female people and that we have the right to speak about it. I mean you see shit like this and the motives become completely transparent:

I do find it funny how hard the trans community and their allies work to prevent anyone from hearing what radfems have to say in case they "corrupt" you with mere words. A lot of the time, it's simply listening to transwomen themselves that sparks the feeling of "something's not right here" in your brain. That's what happened with me too. I'll tell you that most of us also used to be proponents of trans activism, many formerly identifying as trans too. You are seeing through manipulation, and I know it's quite shocking to realize. Even when I first started having doubts about trans rhetoric, I thought "well everyone else agrees about this, so I need to shut up and be nice about it even if I don't agree." It's an unpleasant place to be in. The cognitive dissonance is exhausting though, and it becomes impossible to ignore.

The mistreatment of transmasc people in the trans community by transfems is brutal, and It's hard to watch from the outside because I just want to say "Hey, you know you don't have to take this shit, right?" And you really don't. You are not at all a bad person for recognizing the frankly absurd amount of misogyny in the trans community. Feeling lost and confused is shitty, but it's normal for this situation. The best thing you can do is keep observing, keep reading, form your own opinions, and never let anyone tell you to shut up. Above all, prioritize yourself and your mental wellbeing. If you need to remove yourself from gender-related spaces and discussion for a while, that's totally alright. Just know you're not evil or a bigot for not blindly agreeing with everything the trans community has told you. Your opinions and experiences are worthwhile too.

[up-in-flames-writing]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to make this post, but it feels nowadays like no matter what I say, people will find something wrong with it. I can't say anything about transmasculinity without someone with 'TERFs dni' in their bio foaming at the mouth about it.

Cause it ain't just the radfems & the TERFs, half of the damn queer community is like this as well.

And my main point here is that I fucking despise being a transmasc writer. People fucking despise transmasc creators in general!

I remember watching a cishet 'feminist' reviewing a book by a transman, & acting like he was just a stupid little girl who didn't understand feminism, cause he wrote a book about how men are mistreated, & he wrote it as a transman! & I'm sorry that not all of us can be as damn articulate as your feminism priestesses of the 1900s, but even if we were you'd still find a fucking fault in it!

Cause I love writing stories were a girl becomes a warrior & finds out he's actually a man, & he's better this way than he ever was before, & I was once that little girl who was signed up for martial arts classes & got so much euphoria from beating up all the little boys, but I was already a little boy at that time, I just didn't know it!

Oh, but that's not feminist. It ain't 'female empowerment'. Seeing Mulan as trans in your headcanon isn't feminism, & writing about little girls becoming strong men is misogynist, even if that little girl was never a little girl to begin with!

And I'm just so fucking tired, y'all. One type of 'feminist' hates me for being trans, & the other for being a man, & no matter what I do I just get harassed over & over.

& I'll probably bring this curse over to this blog now. Until now, people have been sending harassment to my dead main blog. Well, they won't be able to do that soon. It'll be this blog, or my kinda dead RP blog.

& when I say I'm terrified, I mean it. Cause I was a terrified little girl growing up, bullied for being autistic & weird & queer & faggy & masculine. & now I'm terrified once again, cause I keep being harassed for being autistic, weird, queer, faggy, masculine, & for refusing to shut up about it. & I want this blog to stay a safe place.

But this is my writing blog. I am a writer. I write stories where little girls become strong men, & I wish someone would call that 'trans empowerment'. & what's empowering in staying hidden?

This is my writing blog, & I deserve to speak up against the bullshit I have to face as a transman & a writer. & the truth is: people fucking despise transmasc writers.

[missmastectomy]

This is a vent post more than anything, but honestly? Despite the lip service I see a lot of gender criticals give to detransitioners, ime the Average Joe is a lot more likely to sympathize with detransitioners and to see us as fully fledged human beings. People who don’t know anything about the trans discourse aren’t ideologically involved and they’re more likely to approach us individuals first.

I’ve noticed a LOT of gender criticals and radfems basically view detrans women as “traitors” and assume the absolute worst about our motivations. I have literally seen radfems say shit like “well, I could never trust a detrans woman because she transitioned because she hates women and secretly wants to dominate me/rape me/enact misogyny on me,” radfems acting like transition ruins a person and that it’s impossible to ever come back from that. As if there aren’t literally women who used to hold all kinds of problematic/misogynistic beliefs who eventually snapped out of it.

For all the talk about how women need only be biologically female to be women, I’m convinced a lot of the most adamant GCs don’t see us as women. They literally just see us as gender freaks. They have this image in their mind of us as this weird in-between female, separate from the real women.

It’s so incredibly insulting. These people have a caricature of detrans women in their head. I highly doubt most have ever even met a detrans woman irl. It’s so stupid because most detrans women are very clearly female after they’ve been off hormones a few years. I’ve literally known women who were on hormones for years and I had no idea because they sound and look typical. Like, when I first detransitioned a lot of people thought I was male, but now I am gendered female and deal with the same shit as any other woman. And no, not every detrans woman will be able or want to assimilate back into her birth sex, but that still doesn’t take away from her status as a woman.

Detransitioners have literally gone through hell. Where the fuck is all this righteous indignation y’all level at these endos prescribing kids HRT, when you actually talk to someone who went through that? Fuck any GC who treats detransitioners like trash because you lack the basic human empathy to understand that what we went through was abuse. Most detransitioners nowadays started transitioning as children. CHILDREN. Kids who were traumatized, who had already been violated or neglected in some way. We were the ones who got swept up in a massive social experiment and we payed the price for it.

Some of y’all are repulsive. We are human beings, not pawns in your culture war. I see the same crap leveled at detransitioned men, too. Not every detransitioned man was an AGP fetishist that abused women ffs. I also know men who were gay or experienced CSA and ended up pushed into transition as kids. The way people talk to detransitioners and our bodies is disgusting. People calling Jazz Jenning’s SRS shit like a “festering, non-functional fuck hole.” What the fuck is wrong you, that was literally a teenager who was groomed into this is as a 6 year old.

At the end of the day detransitioners cannot rely on other groups, only on individual allies and ourselves. I am thankful for the feminists and GCs who sincerely care about we went through and want justice for people harmed by transition. The rest of you can piss off. Go find another toy to chew on.

[spacelazarwolf]

not responding to the actual post because op lowkey seems like the type to harass or make fun of rather than just,,, idk counter-argue? but after reading “gender of dominance” with my two eyeballs i just went 😳🤨

sounds very radfem if you ask me. like there’s a difference between the patriarchy is a system that traditionally privileges men vs men are an inherently dominant gender under ALL circumstances and when one person leans towards the latter the red flags start popping up ngl

oh it’s EXTREMELY ra/df/em.

“language of benevolent domination” being nice???????? is domination???????? also just the usual white leftist “if i use enough buzzwords and just call u a liberal then i will be Right and u will be Wrong.” white ppl r so fucking weird i cannot fucking handle it.

[kazhanko-art]

There’s a strange phenomenon of radfems and terfs trying to endear themselves to queer cis men by claiming that trans men are just women who fetishize us (which aside from being wrong is also a really weird claim for a group of people who will claim women are incapable of abusing or raping men) and that trans women are trying to make gay men transition, which like, definitely no basis for that and frankly I think trans women tend be more chill about any of our gender non conformity than most cis people are.

But also I can guarantee that radfems and terfs have done more to hurt queer cis men than any collective of trans people have. Like aside from the shit they’ve done to male abuse and rape victims as a whole, they also will gladly pin all rapes that happen to men on gay and bi men (despite stats showing that most male rape victims were raped by women) and are frequently either homophobic or fetishistic towards us, sometimes both. Radfems are a much bigger threat to queer men than whatever non existent trans ideology they prattle on about.

And again, unlike radical feminists who do share (frankly bigotted and awful) ideas, trans people are just that, people. People who definitely hold no systemic power over me and other queer people, and also people who share no inherit ideologies. So why would I fear them or hate them on principle, when they are as diverse in thought and feelings as any cis person? Why should I fear and hate my friends, my loved ones, my community, for mere existence, while finding comradery in a group of people whose ideology hates my sex and gender on principle, and have caused actual systemic harm to me and my loved ones, cis and trans?

Fuck terfs, fuck radfems, and fuck any queer cis man, or queer person in general, who had fallen for their shit.

[the-delta-quadrant]

"stop treating x group like the enemy" is such a weird way to derail conversations about privilege.

saying that binary trans people have privilege over nonbinary people, or that allo queers have privilege over ace and aro people, or that mono queers have privilege over bi+ people isn't "making people out to be the enemy". that's some bullshit to immediately shut down any real conversation.

but the problem is you all don't even hear us out most of the time when we talk about our specific experiences to know that we don't paint anyone as the enemy.

if you want to talk about "making people out to be the enemy", why don't we talk about binary trans people acting like nonbinary people are the reason why people don't take trans people seriously? or about allo queers creating an entire harassment campaign just to push aces and aros away from the queer community? or about how bi+ women are demonised for being involved with men by lesbian separatists? how bi+ lesbians are framed as dangerous by mono lesbians right now? or how transmascs and transmasculinised people are continuously painted as patriarchal, misogynistic and inherently violent, even by other trans people? or how perisex queers were threatening and harassing intersex people after the intersex progress flag was created? or how queer people consistently try to push out "the weird ones"? but you all don't want to talk about that, because in most of these cases, it means acknowledging you have privilege in some way.

you all are so fragile that you think "you have privilege over me" means "i hate you, you're my enemy and you're responsible for all the oppression i experience", when no one fucking said that. but it's all or nothing, black and white, binary thinking.

it's vital for people to acknowledge the privilege they hold even within their communities because that way we can more effectively work on dismantling the systems that oppress all of us. but by refusing to acknowledge your privilege, you uphold it, and by that you do contribute to further oppression.

i mean fuck. i don't even think nonqueer people are "the enemy". will i complain about the shit i get from nonqueers and others who have privilege over me? absolutely yes. does that mean i think they are the enemy? absolutely not. dismantling the gender binary helps binary trans & cis people. dismantling allosexism helps allos. dismantling monosexism helps monos. dismantling the patriarchy helps cis men.

we have so many allies that i hold dear to my heart, INCLUDING allo queer allies to aces and aros, mono queer allies to bi+ folk, binary trans allies to nonbinary folk. never have i considered them enemies. that's a fucking myth to silence conversations about intracommunity privilege.

i shouldn't have to say "not all binary trans/not all allos/not all monos" for you all to understand that a) yes, ALL of you do have privilege, and b) i'm not talking about you if you're not being allosexist, exorsexist or monosexist.

the enemy is allosexists, exorsexists and monosexists, no matter which identity they hold. heck, some of them are literally ace/aro/nonbinary/bi+ themselves and i'll be the first to call that shit out if you actually looked and weren't too busy being defensive. the enemy is exorsexism, monosexism, heterosexism, cissexism, allosexism, intersexism, misogyny.

no one's said otherwise except fucking radfems. so STOP acting like nonbinary/ace/aro/bi+ people are some new version of radfems for talking about privilege and our unique oppression.

i'll be a fucking nonbinary bi-asexual killjoy. fight me.

[decolonize-the-left]

calling lesbians who aren't okay with "trans men lesbians" radfems is weird as hell when "trans men are just confused lesbians" IS a widespread radfem stance. if you support them whatever but it's disingenuous to act like lesbians who don't want to date trans men are radfems for that

I think policing relationships and gender and such in the queer community is genuinely one of the worst things that's happened to us in the last 20 years.

I think if you're attracted to someone or not then ok? That's it. Period.

Who cares how they identify or the words they use?

"lesbophobia"

Give me a fucking break. Show me the trans man killing lesbians. Trying to get lesbian relationships to be criminalized? To have them removed from the queer community?

You can't. Because it's not trans men doing that. It's TERFs.

"they're invading our spaces!"

Oh like a hypothetical evil cis man would invade a bathroom by pretending to be a woman?

I said radfem-lite lite for a reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We made up a bunch of rules for how the Other person you're attracted to identifies and then moralized it and made DNIs and started calling queer people"-phobic" based on Your own ideas of gender/relationships (good job creating a more inclusive shitty binary with rules btw) and acting like everyone who doesn't agree with Your rules and ideas is some queerphobic enemy is fucking wild.

The whole point of queerness is simply that we aren't allo cishets. That we're different. And it's something we ALL experience so we're supposed to be understanding. That sometimes people WONT have the same concept of gender as you, the same rules and that's okay. We are a community because understand each other on that. We agree and have that solidarity because we ALL experience this from people who believe that binary can NOT allow for trans people or queer relationships.

I will literally Never ever agree with anyone who disagrees any of this. They're no ally of mine or the queer community. You are wildly accepting of your siblings or you have some queerphobia to work on.

Believe whatever the hell you want but to say Specific queer people are "invading" your space is also just fucking ahistorical. For a long time lesbian was the only word even used if you presented as a woman and liked people who presented as women. Did you know that? Who cares if you were a man or woman or trans or a gender?

If you feel like how someone ELSE identifies undermines your own identity then welcome to the Same Exact reason that homophobic and transphobic straights are homophobic and transphobic!!

We make them question gender and relationships in ways that make them uncomfortable. That make them question their own relationship to gender itself. And nobody is supposed to do that. You're supposed to follow the rules. Girls aren't supposed to kiss girls. And nobody is supposed to want to transition.

And so just like we tell them, I will tell you: if there is no harm being done, then there's no foul. Mind your own business instead of worrying about someone else's.

Some lesbians having the same struggle to accept this as allo cishets do, does not mean that they are being attacked and persecuted by trans man lesbians anymore than cishet women are being persecuted by fake trans people.

Can we please be over this now?

We get enough shit from straight people trying to regulate gender, we truly do not need reinvent the same fucking dynamic in our own community.

[redditreceipts]

I've been a very staunch supporter of trans ppl for years. I have learned to swallow my discomfort around some of the things said in those circles. When they said it was transphobic for lesbians to not like dick, I bit my tongue. I told myself, "this is just the loud minority" and to be fair I do think that is the minority but still ... as a lesbian I wasn't even able to talk about people who argued that because "it never happens. No one says that. That sounds like a transphobic lie." And I hate the constant assertions that gender is real, innate, and that everyone feels it. I can't describe my own experiences with growing up as a woman without someone telling me that maybe I'm nonbinary ... no thanks I tried that for a while. I respect everyone's gender, or I want to, but apparently doing that also requires me to put that oppressive structure onto myself and act like it's liberating.

The final snapping point for me was a trans woman telling me that I'm privileged for being a cis woman because I've never experienced dysphoria ... except I have. I grew up with intense thoughts about my body and hating my vagina and breasts. It was never that bad but I would often imagine mutilating. I'm in a better place now but I still feel some discomfort over my body sometimes. And when I expressed this to her, she asked me if I was really cis or was still questioning ...

They act like misogyny doesn't exist or something. I just ... I disagree with a lot of radical feminists beliefs or at least I think I do. But for years I have felt like radfems were the only ones even talking about misogyny anymore so idk

Anyway what I wanted to say is that I really like your posts and perspectives and thanks for this blog. I want to learn more and question more and your blog has become a helpful resource to help me start thinking critically about some things

Hey :) thanks for writing to me and sorry for the late answer. 

And yeah, you are totally right. I have also spent such a long time justifying gender ideology because I really wanted it to be right. I’ve excused so much weird behaviour with weird mental gymnastics because I didn’t want to accept that I had been wrong for such a long time. 

The entire “that never happens” thing - and then you show them an occasion where it happened, and they say “well, it doesn’t happen that much”. And yeah, people have suggested me being non-binary as well. I mean, by strict gender definitions I am non-binary because I don’t identify as a woman lmao. Just as the “you’re uncomfortable in your body?? what about fucking cutting it up??!!!!” thing. 

And for disagreeing with feminist beliefs, the thing is that being a feminist is not a package deal. You are not being some sort of heretic if you disagree with certain things, and I know that I am most probably wrong on a lot of stuff myself. If I wasn’t, I would be the first person who is always right in human history. And yes, even in feminist spaces, there is sometimes some sort of imperative to follow every single belief or you are not a “real feminist”. But being a feminist is not an identity, it is an action. It is an action towards yourself, in the workplace, in interaction with other women and men, in your consumption, in your voting, in how you support women in your personal life and how you do political action. So yeah, I would say that it is less important whether you follow every rule of the radical feminist catechism and more important to support women in your life (which includes yourself). At least, that’s my opinion. 

So if you want to learn more, you can look into literally anything Julie Bindel says on Youtube, I really like her perspective. And cool that you’re here!