#raphael's disappointments are really significant to him

[not-poignant]

Do you know how Raphael discovered his love of theater and singing and art and all that? Cania doesn’t seem like the most hospitable place for it, and I don’t see Mephistopheles being thrilled about a theater kid cambion son.

Why does Raphael love art and music and theater so much? Has Meph ever caused any problems for him because of it?

Sorry my brain just wants to put those two under a microscope and poke them because their dynamic is so interesting

Hi anon,

Cania is definitely not the place for it, but Mephistophele's is a pretty melodramatic guy, for all that he doesn't like to seem to be, he has a few pretty different natures, and he's got a huge flare for drama himself.

As for Raphael, he just had no real interest in pursuing magic or science in the same way his father did. He has skills in both, and his interest in the arts is a nice front for that.

I actually think he developed an interest in the arts inadvertently while employing them for black market endeavours. For example, human trafficking is often tied up in the arts, as is money laundering, moving black market items (i.e. trading with paintings and diamonds), to say nothing of the fact that a lot of desperate souls both end up in the arts and drawn to the arts. Just like Astarion knows if you hang around outside a bar you'll find an easy meal, Raphael feels the same way about a theatre and a brothel, and in Faerun, both of those things are frequently combined.

I have an idea that he was basically sent out to procure funds and make himself useful, and figure out how to harvest souls for himself, and learned the actually debauchery, fine meals, fine wines, live entertainment, music, poetry and more were all very diverting and made more of his life at a time when most of his brothers got slaughtered, and he had only distant ambitions.

We know he loves writing, too, and journalling. If he has inherited any of his father's strong emotions (which he has), getting them out onto a page is probably good for him.

As for Mephistopheles, I honestly think for the most part he doesn't think about it and he actually forgets he even has sons most of the time. He notoriously bounces from project to project leaving most of them unfinished, and hyperfixates on different things at any time. He's left behind some of the most world-changing magics and cities among Cania and just never given them another thought. So while it amuses him to torment Raphael about it, I actually don't think it's something that truly upsets him whenever Raphael's not in sight, lol.

Like, I imagine Mephistopheles is so 'nothingy' about Raphael that it's like, 'oh the most interesting thing about you is the money you've given me I guess and the noises you make sometimes' - but otherwise it's not even apathy, because you can't be apathetic about something you don't even notice is there. And Raphael prefers it that way.

(A problem honestly is when Mephistopheles does notice what his son is up to, and at some point he realised Raphael had amassed actually a rather significant amount of power and sent Harleep to keep an eye on him (this is canon) and distract him with like... sexual diversion. Raphael's preference is that his father forgets he exists and frankly once the Crown of Karsus was destroyed, all he remembers now is that Raphael had a goal to steal it, and Mephistopheles had a goal to steal it from him, so now that's ruined and he's mad about it sometimes).

(But in a distractible kind of way).

[devildom-moss]

Roses for You (14)

This had all started when you noticed a link between a book on the language of flowers you had borrowed from Satan’s room and the current lessons from your Seductive Speechcraft and Magical Potions classes.

In Seductive Speechcraft, you had just reached a section on the effectiveness of spells using non-verbal communication: enchanting glances, dance, and offerings. Meanwhile, in Magical Potions, the professor had been discussing the significance of using specific quantities when concocting potions; they had spent fifteen minutes just providing examples – including adding petals from two different flowers when using them for a love spell.

You couldn’t resist discussing the use of flower language – utilizing the type, color, and quantity of the flowers – to specify the magical intent of an offering as a form of seductive speechcraft. Asmo and Solomon listened intently. The same idea popped into both of their minds, and before you knew it, everyone was looking into color and number meanings, searching for the perfect combination to convey their feelings for you and try to put you under their spell. The only rule for their little competition to charm you? Only roses are allowed.

Will you be charmed by their attempts?

Fourteen Roses - Raphael

Word Count: +900

Be proud of yourself / I'm proud of you

When Raphael asked you to run an errand with him after school, you couldn’t turn him down. It wasn’t often that he asked you to accompany him. You didn’t think to ask where you were going – as long as you were with him, it didn’t matter. When you arrived at a local florist and plant nursery, you turned to Raphael curiously.

“Oh, no. Please tell me you didn’t kill Luke’s houseplant. He just got that last week.” Your shoulders slumped imagining Luke’s disappointed face.

Raphael scoffed, “Now, what makes you think I would have killed it?”

“When’s the last time you got in trouble for making spears rain down?”

“Fffvvrr days ago,” he mumbled.

“What was that, angel?”

“Five days ago.” Raphael rolled his eyes.

“Oh! I thought you were going to say four. Good boy.” You grinned at him.

Raphael felt his face burn and decided to get back on topic. “Anyway, no, I didn’t kill his plant. I’m just here to pick up an order.”

You both carefully maneuvered through the shop, avoiding the more nefarious plants. Your eyes wandered around while Raphael got his order from the pick-up counter. That mindlessness and awe was fortunate, too. It meant that you hadn’t heard the demon at the counter’s comment: “Huh. So, some angels have a human kink, too. Interesting. Angels like sharin’, right?”

Raphael sighed and aggressively shoved the signed pick-up form back towards the demon. He wasn’t going to be shopping there again. Or, at least, he wasn’t going to take you with him if he did. Not with how that guy was looking at you. Raphael had learned how to pick up on what people meant – even if he didn’t react or look like he understood them.

“Time to go, MC.” Raphael took your arm suddenly as you were inspecting the shop. He pulled you out of your trance and outside before you could register what he had come to pick up.

Safely away from the gaze of that demon, Raphael stopped dragging you along and turned to face you. He pushed a bouquet of green roses into the thin space between your bodies, holding it in both of his hands. “These are for you.”

“You got me flowers?”

“I figured if everyone else was going to give you roses, it would be mean if I didn’t get some for you. You don’t have to keep them if you don’t want to, but I put some thought into it. Although, I’m sure the others did, too.”

“What?! Of course I’m going to keep them! Thank you, Raphael. Really. I’ll put them in my room when I get home.”

Raphael smiled and let out a laugh as he started walking in the direction of your place. “Your room must look like a mini flower shop by now.”

You rushed to catch up with him, almost bumping into his shoulder in the process. “Yeah, it kind of does, but I like it. It’s hard remembering to tend to them, but I’m managing. I’ll probably dry the roses as they start to wilt – unless Solomon wants to use them in a spell or something. But maybe it’s rude to let Solomon use a gift from someone else?”

“Maybe.” Raphael shrugged slightly.

In the quiet moments between chatting with Raphael about whatever popped into your minds, you studied the bouquet he had given you. Counting fourteen roses, a smile snuck its way onto your face. Fourteen was a less common choice used to tell someone that you’re proud of them and that they should be proud of themselves. Green roses had a variety of meanings ranging from life, growth, peace, stability, or even jealousy – although the latter seemed unlikely to you. Typically, green was used to encourage and congratulate a person. You weren’t sure why he was proud of you but knowing that he was made you happy. Before you knew it, Raphael had walked you up to your front steps. You felt disappointed to be leaving him.

“You know, other than Luke, you’re the only one who didn’t give me a romantic bouquet.” You smiled. It was so sweet of Raphael. He didn’t always show you kindness so clearly – although, he did once gift you a rather intricate paper crow that he learned how to make with Luke.

“Why should I? This was my chance to tell you something special. It’s important that you know how proud I am of your growth. You’ve accomplished so much, and you deserve to take pride in that. If I wanted to tell you how much I desire you, I could just say it or show you.”

“Do you . . .want me?”

Raphael inched closer until you could feel his breath on your face. His deep blue eyes, usually cold and blank, were so pretty. There was a hint of emotion in them now. “May I?”

He scanned your face for a sign of consent, but you gave him one better and brought your lips to his. Raphael pulled your body flush against his as if he needed the pressure of your embrace to survive. His lips parted, and he wasted no time teasing you with his tongue. The sudden intensity he brought almost made you drop the roses in your hand, but you tightened your grip and kissed him back until all you could hear was a blend of wet mouth noises, panting, and Raphael’s gentle, needy whining. When he finally pulled back and let you catch your breath, his pink-tinted cheeks enamored you.

“See?” Raphael exhaled, his breath grazing your lips. “What did that tell you?”

“That you’re pent up?” you teased with a grin, although you weren’t lying, either.

Raphael smiled briefly before he frowned again. His eyes took on a dark, seductive glaze. “Take care of it, then.”

Lucifer (1) | Mammon (2) | Leviathan (3) | Satan (4) | Asmodeus (5) | Beelzebub (6) | Belphegor (7) | Diavolo (8) | Barbatos (9) | Luke (10) | Simeon (11) | Solomon (12) | Thirteen (13) | Mephistopheles (15)

[fleshing-out-fodlan]

Despite Sylvain supposedly developing past his misogyny, all his endings with women focus almost 100% on his goals and accomplishments to the point where the female characters he ends up with are honestly interchangeable and I think this is indicative of how Sylvain really doesn't grow out of this mindset. His Dorothea ending talks about him improving relations with Sreng and doesn't mention any of her accomplishments, the Mercedes ending talks about him improving relations with Sreng and doesn't mention any of her accomplishments (the only significant difference from the Dorothea one is this ending says a crestless child succeeds Sylvain but the framing still makes that appear to be Sylvain's doing, not Mercedes'), and his ending with Ingrid is, oh look, the same exact thing. I initially ignored Byleth's ending because she's the player character, surely she could at least avoid being relegated to an accessory in a man's life story, and while Byleth may have gotten slightly better treatment than the other women it's still honestly disappointing. Their CF ending honestly focuses mainly on them as a team so I wouldn't say Sylvain gets too much preferential treatment here and wouldn't even care if it wasn't for all the other factors, but their other endings are all about Sylvain's accomplishments. In AM it says that "he achieved a great deal," not they, in fact Byleth does not achieve anything in this ending besides becoming Archbishop (no mention of what she does with that though) and marrying Sylvain. Their VW and SS ending is the same, Byleth's main accomplishment is marrying Sylvain while Sylvain gets to use his "cunning manner of speech...[to] foster relationships between the CoS, Fodlan, and surrounding regions."

Compare these endings to the women's endings with other people. Ingrid improves the quality of her territory in many endings including AM Felix, CF Ashe, and CF Ignatz. In other endings, such as AM Ashe and Raphael, she becomes a knight and while it may not be an ending I like for her it is still an ending that involves her doing something. Dorothea gets to play a big role in the Mittlefrank Opera Company again with Edelgard, Manuela, and Felix. With Petra she's able to use her connections from the Opera to help Brigid improve their relations with Fodlan. Mercedes runs an orphanage in her CF Annette ending and works as a cleric in all her other Annette endings. With Constance they work to improve both their territories (too many endings with M/F nobles only focus on the male noble's territory but that's an issue for another day). Mercedes also becomes a cleric in her Alois ending and goes down in history for having magical blessings.

These women's endings with Sylvain are by no means their only endings where they're ignored in favor of the male character but the fact that all of Sylvain's M/F endings ignore the female character (while his Felix ending has no issue talking about what Felix is doing separate from Sylvain) speaks to the likelihood of Sylvain still holding on to some of his concerning views.

[thenatashapulleyuniverse]

As continuation of my last post:

Raphael, Mori, Pepper, and Joe are all POC, but they never seemed to be shown connecting/enjoying their cultural background?? There wasn't anything specifically cultural their characters seemed to be doing. I know these things might not be relevant to the story NP wants to tell but it isn't so hard to throw in a line about their heritage.

You could argue it wouldn't be her place or she wouldn't want to offend but she writes gay men.. And the women she DOES write, well we know.

I think the CLOSEST we EVER had to discussion of cultural identity is when Matsumoto tells Thaniel of his insecurities of being Japanese but living in England. He felt like he didn't belong in either world and literally I FELT THAT!!! But it was such a small scene and he hasn't brought it up again nor was there another scene like it with any other POC (correct me if im wrong but i dont think Pepper even HAD a thought like that)

First, the entirety of Bedlam takes place in Peru but nothing culturally significant stands out. I hate that Raphael, a literal symbol of the one thing his people revere the most, hates on his own people?? Merrick literally had to defend them 😭

Second, TLFOP legitmally takes place in Japan. It's a completely DIFFERENT PLACE THAN ENGLAND RIGHT? AND YET, idk, I feel Natasha tried to relate it too much to England?? There are traditions even Thaniel would need to follow when living in a place like Yoruji, a place one would expect a lot of rules to be upheld.

Third, a central part Joe's story IS IDENTITY, maybe not cultural but throughout the novel he didn't know who he really was. Natasha made him half-Chinese, therefore like any biracial person, his cultural identity lies in 3 communities -- his English side, his Chinese side, and his biracial self. The fact that she didn't even acknowledge those last two till the end is a bit disappointing. He lives with his Chinese father for goodness sakes and listen I adore the fact that he and his niece use "Ba" instead of Dad, but also I'm asking for more. Lunar's New Years hello???

Thoughts? Criticisms? Comments? My blog is open babes

TL;DR yes, gay people did exist as far as history goes, but so did poc 💔 no shade but would it be so difficult to acknowledge the cultural background of your characters who you decided to make a POC?

[tadpolejourney]

Day 31

Last night the guardian visited me while I slept. For some reason it had no armor on, and I feel the need to mention that. That feels significant to me, that it appeared to me without armor after what happened at the creche. It seemed distressed, and was seeking my comfort. I gave it a hug. It was weird, because it really did almost feel like I hugged a person. But not quite. I don't think this entity is entirely malicious. Still don't trust it, but I need it to trust me. I'm playing the game.

I tried to get as much information as I can from it. It said we are being bombarded by relentless waves of telepathic energy, orders to transform the infected into mindflayers. It said the order to transform me has been given many times. It seems to be holding on by a thread. I honestly don't know what to make of any of it. Unlike the other times, none of my companions were visited by a guardian. I think there is just the one entity, and it chose to only appear to and speak to me this time. It only wanted to see me when Vlaakith sent us into the prism too. It seems it is no longer interested in my companions, at least not as much as it is interested in me.

No pressure.

Despite its distress, our planned respite will continue. I need to rest my body and clear my head so I can face what awaits us in our journey to Moonrise.

Day 32

Truly I feel as though my companions and I have gotten really close. It was so nice to just spend the day with them. Lae'zel is getting antsy and wishes to leave 'without further delay'. I told her we're spending one more day after today, and then we'll move on from this place. She is still 24/10 soldier mode, and she struggles to socially integrate with the group or just relax on a basic level. She respects my leadership though, even if she refuses to enjoy the time off I've given her.

Astarion told me about how he wants to make a deal with Raphael to figure out what his scars mean. Cue me telling yet another companion of mine, in confidence, about my deal with Mephisto in order to help them with their own infernal dilemma... He was disappointed I'd never mentioned it or invoked his power. I had to explain to him, for a second time because I explained it when I told the story, that I get one request, with very limited conditions, and that's it. If he cannot fulfill it and I ask it anyway, my chance is forfeit. My price is already paid, and I'm still not over the loss. I don't know if I ever will be, and I think frankly I don't deserve to be. I should feel the guilt and the weight of it until I die. Someone I loved is dead, because of me.

Hence I've never asked Mephisto for any help until now. I think I'll know when the time comes to use it, if I ever use it at all.

Astarion understood why I wouldn't just surrender my soul to him, though. He said he wouldn't if he were totally free of a master too. He doesn't feel free of Cazador, which is important, because he truly isn't. Not yet. I think we'll have to kill him in order for Astarion to be free. I hope we get the chance to. I'm really hoping he shows up in our camp and we destroy him immediately.

<<< Days 29-30 | Index | Day 33 >>>

[lovely--lori]

Azrael Clay

TW NSFW, GANGS, MEN, BODIES, WEREWOLVES, TEETH, DEATH

————————————————————————————————————

Name: Azrael Clay

Age: 48

Species: Werewolf

Personality: Azrael is an arrogant and rude individual who always fights dirty and cheats in any way he can. He flirts with women regardless of whether they have a significant other. However, Azrael is also intelligent, cunning, and quick-witted. He can deduce things and come up with clever plans based on very little information. His father had expected him to get top marks in school after his first year but was disappointed when Mariana beat him. Azrael's arrogance hides a very broken and touch-starved individual in dire need of love and affection. He is extremely jealous and protective of the individuals he holds closest to his heart and has taken measures to ensure their safety. Despite his tough exterior, Azrael is actually a very sentimental and emotional person. He has a soft spot for animals and often takes in stray cats and dogs.

Family: Seth Clay (Brother, alive), Samuel Clay (Father, alive), Belladonna Clay (Mother, alive), Rosie Clay (Sister, alive), Charlotte Thomas (Ex-wife, alive), Sophia Thomas (Daughter, alive)

Backstory: His parents raised him to be the perfect heir to the Clay family. When he was a child, he became Gabriel's first servant and childhood best friend. He attacked Raphael when he was 16, scarred his face, and took his eye as a trophy. Later in life, he formed his own motorcycle gang, The Howling Wolves, which became so successful that it took over four towns in a few months (Redshore, Gray Beach, and Deerston). How He is maintaining his gang's effectiveness in Redshore.

Look: He's 6’11 feet tall, has dark gray-brown medium-long hair, and emerald green eyes like his father, brother, and sister. He's muscular and has very big man tits, he has some scars on his body. Cock size is 14 inches in length size, 11 in girth size, and two veins on both of his sides, he has a lorum piercing and some tattoos, one on his shoulder and one on his thigh.

Pronouns: He/Him

————————————————————————————————————

Facts about him

————————————————————————————————————

Azrael's favorite subjects in school were Home Economics and P.E

He barely eats any vegetables and everyone wonders how he stays alive

He goes to the gym every day

Azrael can skateboard, and he’s really good at it

He stays up until 7 am and sleeps in until 3

Azrael lies about his birthday for free food

He is bisexual

His birthday is Jan 15, 1975

Azrael has back pains from his height

Azrael used to shoplift as a teen, but he doesn't see a point to do it anymore

His motorcycle is Yamaha V-Star 250

He loves spending time in nature, especially near bodies of water. He finds the sound of running water to be very calming and often goes fishing to clear his mind. Azrael is highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat and has a black belt in multiple martial arts. He is a force to be reckoned with in a fight. Growing up, Azrael was not very academically inclined and struggled in school. However, he is a quick learner and has taught himself various skills, including woodworking and mechanics. He has a love for old-fashioned things, such as vinyl records and vintage cars. He often spends his free time restoring classic cars and listening to music from the 60s and 70s. Azrael has a fear of heights and will avoid situations that involve being up high, such as flying in airplanes or going on roller coasters. He has a sweet tooth and loves indulging in sugary treats, especially chocolate. He is also a fan of spicy foods and enjoys trying new and exotic dishes.

————————————————————————————————————

Character trope(s):

Bad boy

Casanova

Badass biker

Dark and Troubled Past

————————————————————————————————————

Face claim:

————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————

Body claim:

————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————

Teeth Claim:

————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————

Voice claim: Vanitas From Kingdom Hearts

————————————————————————————————————

[normal-thoughts-official]

Tbh, to me Magnus proposing to Alec is more about Magnus’ character development than about malec (it’s not me dissing on them or anything, I love them 💖). I mean, Magnus chooses to put his trust in Alec instead of succumbing to Asmodeus manipulation. Yes, technically he learns the truth from Maryse but I think it’s not so much about Magnus trusting, it’s more about Magnus thinking ‘yes, this is something my stupid idiotic self-sacrificing fool of a boyfriend would totally do and I love him so much’. Also, I always found it meaningful that Magnus literally yeets the toxic person who abused him into the void and chooses to be be with someone who loves him unconditionally. That said, I realize many people feel different and were disappointed when the proposal happened. Anyway, I’m not sure my rant even makes sense 😅

it does make sense! and i do agree with you in a sense. i just feel like they could have laid it a bit thicker? because to me it didn't feel as satisfying as i had been hoping for. i totally agree that it was an important moment for him and that the action of proposing itself was SO important but i felt like when it came to the proposal he barely had any agency (obviously yeeting asmodeus was cool and sexy but im separating the two things here, at least partially because i don't like the idea that he only did it for alec/their relationship, y'know? he did it for himself and good for him). maryse told him about it and then he rushed to save the world and proposed to him when he already knew alec was planning it AND that he would be gone (for what he believed was forever) within minutes

if magnus was to be the one to take initiative with one of their milestones for the VERY first time, i wanted it to be something he did because of his own confidence and that he could savor. i feel like everything about the circumstances took the power away from magnus making that choice. there was no real risk, and in a way, he didnt even expect that hed have to go through the consequences of that action because he thought that afterwards he would have been in hell forever. so it didn't really push foward his "growing confident in himself and their relationship" to me. it felt more like an impulsive kind of last wish thing to me. so like in a way i wish it had been more about magnus udbdisnsisns

but i do appreciate ur insight! i hope u dont see this as me fighting you, im really just chatting. and yeah in a way the fact that he decided to do this when he had just had his heart broken and every fear of his confirmed and then he still believed maryse and went after alec to have these last few moments shows that he grew confident, that he at least believed he could have this. so i do appreciate that

and magnus throwing asmodeus into the void is SO significant to me too! like he didn't kill him or banish him, he rendered him meaningless. he still existed, but he was unable to ever touch magnus or influence his life again. and all by a trap that was designed because of what was supposed to be a FAILURE in magnus' design! like he turned what would have been a glitch into a weapon and used his own creation and its limitations to get rid of his abuser where he couldnt touch him and that was just. ugh. chef's kiss

it's also so significant because when he yeeted camille he did it for raphael, but when he yeeted asmodeus he did it for himself, and it was one of the first moments where we got to see magnus choosing himself and allowing himself to be genuinely angry on his own behalf, not the downworlders or warlocks as a whole, but himself, magnus bane, because he deserved better than the abuse asmodeus put him through. and he acted out on that anger and took a stand, and it was just. ugh. everything to me

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Destiel and Crowley, seasons 6-12

Hi, guys. 

I’ve re-watched some episodes from Supernatural season 6 and that made me think about Destiel and Crowley - from season 6 to season 12 strictly.  

I love Crowley and think he is one of the main characters which helped Destiel to become closest to canon, though in a hard way. 

Destiel positive, one-sided Crowley/Cas, Crowley/Dean and Balthazar/Cas in subtext mentioned, don’t like - don’t read.

In the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. From that point, Cas and Crowley have their own dynamics which Dean is far well acquainted with, though for us viewers it could be not so easy to follow.

Basically, Crowley stayed in the plot in season 6 just for these dynamics and Dean’s further frustration = jealousy. ‘Cause, if we’ll take a look at season 6, all the thing about Cas’s dealing with Crowley wasn’t so bad. Cas really had good purposes, Dean really could talk to him in a supportive way, and I strongly believe that in this case there will be NO Leviathans at all. As well as Cas’s “death”, they were a metaphorical result of Dean’s jealousy and bitter words, which also almost cost Sam his life.

Season 6 is a very interesting piece. For the first time, it’s not Sam who is the main character of the show. It’s more Dean’s story, and Cas is also “Dean’s“. He came mostly when Dean calls, they share “more profound“ bond.

Cas raises Sam from perdition, as he raised Dean, heals Sam, as he healed Dean, answers Sam’s prayers, when Dean doesn’t want to pray first, and is referred to as Sam’s “boyfriend” in 6x11 by Balthazar. But all these prompts to make Sam and Dean’s relationships with Cas equal fail.

Cas saves Sam from Hell FOR DEAN (and yet he can’t save THE WHOLE Sam, it’s Dean who manages to bring Sam’s soul back + Sam restores his memory himself, in time), heals Sam when Dean tells him to do it and THE OTHER WAY, just by touching his forehead, not by cupping his face intimately, as it was with Dean in 5x22. In 6x03 soulless Sam mentions that Cas doesn’t answer his prayers, then Dean prays to Cas, and Cas comes immediately, with the line about his and Dean’s more profound bond on his lips. In 6x10 soulless Sam tricks Cas with his prayer and even threats to kill him if Cas won’t help. In 6x12 Sam, not soulless anymore, tricks Cas with his prayer to know about his past and doesn’t want to hug him.

It’s all outlined. Why?

As for Balthazar’s referring in 6x11: he, of course, could have spoken about both Sam and Dean back there. “You” in “go ask your boyfriend” can be plural, but I rather suppose Balthazar meant Cas as Sam’s boyfriend specifically, and that’s as right as the fact that his words in 6x17, about “the other angel in a dirty trench coat who’s in love with you”, were specifically about Dean. And I’m sure, that in 6x17 Balthazar understands Cas’s intentions better - it’s the same episode where he saves Titanic because Cas told so. I suggest Cas and Balthazar’s reunion took place right before 6x15, ‘cause by the end of 6x15 we know that they are a new-formed team and all this episode has one purpose - to help Cas get the Heaven weapon from Balthazar. Misha’s cameo from 6x15 even tells some things about Balthazar while acting Cas - that Balthazar isn’t a hero and couldn’t beat Rafael, who isn’t definitely going to forgive him.

So, Balthazar’s words about Cas who is in love with Dean are more significant than his assumption about Cas as Sam’s boyfriend. We have enough evidences for the fact that Cas in this season is “Dean’s”, though he cares about Sam a lot.

First of all - ‘cause Sam is crucial for Dean.

No wonder that in 6x22 Cas knocks Sam down to crush Dean. He knows how it works.

So in this season Sam is a victim of Dean and Cas’s love quarrel, someone who is fostered by both of them. And this is the part of a plot structure, as well as Cas and Crowley’s and Cas and Balthazar’s little moments, which are not crucial for the whole Winchesters’ story, but are absolutely necessary to understand Cas in this season and his and Dean’s “hidden” plot.

‘Cause this “hidden” plot is the thing on which the main plot is grounded.

Balthazar and Cas had relationship before Dean was even born. Crowley and Cas had their relationship after Dean decided to have a peaceful life with Lisa and Ben, and this relationship matters from season 6 till the end of season 12. I think it’s basically the reason why Crowley helps Winchesters so much.

You see, for starters, Sam and Dean were just no one to Crowley. They were humans, not even his equals. But Cas - he was higher. As Dean in 5x22, in 6x20 Crowley sees a new “God” in Cas, the Heaven ruler. And he isn’t telling the whole truth about it for sure, but also he isn’t lying. I think in some way he respects Cas, even admires. And it’s not subtle in the plot logic, it’s the part of it.

Let’s check.

Season 6 - Cas and Crowley are working together all the way, Crowley doesn’t want Winchesters to intervene, he tries to kill them and is threatened by Cas. He said that Cas doesn’t know what he is. He is tricked by Cas twice, double-crossed, but not killed - opposite to Raphael. God!Cas needs Crowley.

Season 7 - In 7x01 God!Cas finds Crowley, but, again, doesn’t kill him. He makes authoritarian demands, which have weird subtext (“you take whatever I give you”) and really scare Crowley. He help the Winchesters to enslave Death, but has never did or even said something against God!Cas. In 7x23 Crowley reveals Cas is alive, but, unlike the angels, he isn’t mad. He wants explanations, receives some honey from Cas instead and says in philosophical manner: “karma is a bitch”. Later, he doesn’t try to kill Cas and even leaves Meg with the boys not to disappoint his “business partner”.  

Season 8 - Crowley is a Big Bad this season. Also, this season is the first time than Destiel becomes a real thing textually, for both Dean and Cas. And Crowley is a BIG BAD in the middle of that finally hopeful love story. Coincidence? Hell no! Also, the first question that Crowley asks when he sees Dean alive is “Where is your angel?”. 

In 8x02 Dean tries to kill Crowley who is possessing Kevin’s mum. Why? The same reason Kevin has: Crowley made him fight for his life for year and killed his girlfriend. That’s also relevant for Dean: Crowley is one of the main reasons why Dean must fight for his life for year in Purgatory and lost Cas there.

In 8x07 during their encounter Crowley doesn’t try to attack Cas. He also says, that Cas could call him when he was out the Purgatory. But Cas doesn’t want to make things right with Crowley, he tries to kill him and manages to have Kevin and the half of the demons’ tablet back. Without Cas it will be impossible: the text shows us that Cas doesn’t like Crowley. Not even a little, not anymore.  

In 8x17 Crowley understands that Cas tricked Naomi and is kinda fond of that. Also, he kills Meg here, whom he was torturing for a year and who definitely was Cas’s crash in 7x21-7x23. We also saw that Crowley knew about it - and about the fact that in 8x17 all Meg did was helping Cas and protecting him from Crowley, even if this would cost her her life.

Strange, but this will be also Crowley’s future.  

In 8x21 Crowley rescues Cas from Naomi. He also gets the angels’ tablet FROM THE CAS’S BODY, but lets Cas escape by leaving another angel with him and angel-killing bullet IN HIM.

Season 9 - in 9x10 Crowley is flirting with Cas as much as possible. Just re-watch it and pay attention to all of these “What are you, a pimp?”, “Oh, Cas, such a flirt”, “Hey. Watch the leg”, “I'll be listening to every word you say. - Promise?”, “Without the tie, he's barely recognizable” and “The three amigos ride again”. For some reason, it was more urgent for Crowley to talk about Cas’s being a human first and about Hell later. There was also deleted scene in 9x10, where Cas and Crowley waited for Dean in the motel. They were sitting on the same bed, Crowley called Cas “sunshine” and tried to talk with him about being human, then Dean showed up, and he was very concerned about how they are doing. Destiel shippers consider this scene as an approving one, and I’m totally agree, ‘cause it shows us that Dean is still jealous when it comes to Cas’s relationship with Crowley, and he actually HAS A POINT HERE - if we’ll look at Crowley. ‘Cause Crowley wasn’t interested in Dean back then, he was interested in Cas, who, in his own turn, was absolutely uninterested. He was against releasing Crowley from the start.  

It’s 9x11 where Dean and Crowley begin to develop their own relationship, and I suppose it’s grounded on the mirroring each other. Back in season 8, it’s no wonder why Crowley wanted “to play Dean” for Kevin. He felt something common with Dean, and part of this “common” was Cas.

In 9x11 Crowley says that he tried to hate Dean more than Dean himself but failed. Here he puts Dean in danger by leading him to Cain, who gives Dean his Mark. After that Dean’s way down begins. But this is also true for Crowley! He becomes human blood junkie and in 9x16 needs help. Also, he helps Dean in the end of the season, brings him back - something that Cas and Sam couldn’t do.

Season 10 - here in 10x02 Crowley and Dean’s (b)romance ends, and Crowley helps Dean to return to his normal life... by saving Cas with stealing angel’s grace for him in 10x03. I simply don’t understand WHY Crowley helped Cas here if we’ll ignore their relationship and Destiel. Crowley didn’t know Sam can’t help Dean himself and needs help for surviving. And how the hell did Crowley know that Cas can save Dean, that it will work? Why was he so sure? His words “you owe me” to Cas mean nothing, he’ll never remember them. They sound just like an excuse!

I think here Crowley: 1) wants to save Cas because of their relationship; 2) knows that Cas could “fix the problem” with Dean because of Dean and Cas’s relationship; 3) has sentimental feelings for Dean despite of their break-up one episode earlier.

Crowley couldn’t control Dean. But he thinks Cas can. And he is no wrong!

In this episode Cas says to healed Dean that Crowley stole some grace for him and this is the story for the other time ‘cause he has a female waiting for him in his car. Dean is very unhappy to hear that, and not because of “female” alone, but also because of Crowley. Crowley and some woman are the reason of Cas’s leaving again. As usual.

In 10x14 there was also one deleted scene with Cas and Crowley, where Crowley called Dean Cas’s boyfriend. Cas reacted with: “Maybe, he is your boyfriend?” and Crowley responded: “He is not my type”.

True - ‘cause here Dean gives the First Blade to Cas, not Crowley, and says that he tricked Crowley about Cain’s going to kill him. But they don’t kill Crowley. It’s just Crowley being rejected by both of them.

Still, in 10x23, after Destiel fight, Cas summons Crowley and asks him for help. And Crowley helps! His only demand to Cas is TO BEG for help. To say “King” and “please”. Well, kinky.

Also, Crowley proposes Cas to call him. Not to summon. And by the end of this episode Cas is cursed by Rowena and almost manages to kill Crowley.

Season 11 - it begins with Cas’s acknowledging that he didn’t kill Crowley (and that’s good, Crowley was a big help to save Dean from the Mark). Also, Crowley here has an orgy in some woman’s body. It was more urgent to him than anything else. Hmm.  

Some episodes later Crowley tries to be a foster parent for Amara. He is ready to kill Dean to protect her and fails. Amara becomes free, she wants to see God, the Winchesters want to stop her and call Crowley to see Lucifer. He guides them to Hell, where Cas becomes possessed by Lucifer. After saying good-bye to Sam and Dean Lucifer in Cas’s body returns to Hell, and Crowley isn’t hostile to him. He’s just surprised. 

Then comes a long BDSM story for Lucifer in Cas’s body and Crowley, and Lucifer do all the things God!Cas might do to Crowley but didn’t. When Crowley is free, he is desperate to expel Lucifer from Cas and return him to the Cage. That’s his plan, not Sam’s or Dean’s. Dean wants to expel Lucifer from Cas and give him a new vessel to fight Amara. Sam even didn’t see a point here - Cas and Cas’s vessel are two different things for him. 

Dean fails to expel Lucifer. So does Crowley - he tries in his own way, by possessing Cas’s vessel, like it was with Sam in 9x10. He says to Cas that Dean wants him to expel Lucifer, but Cas is depressed, so it doesn’t work. Also, Sam didn’t know, that he was possessed, and saw the point in fighting back, but Cas doesn’t see. So both Dean and Crowley fail. 

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03! 

Cas isn’t happy either, but Crowley is. And that’s just amazing, ‘cause without Crowley Cas could be dead in 12x07. Lucifer just saw Crowley and wanted to punch him instead of Cas. No wonder that Dean thanked Crowley for helping Cas here. In 12x08 Crowley helps with Lucifer again. In 12x09 he is uninterested in looking for the Winchester boys, though in 12x12 he helps again - and not just with Ramiel. He rescues Cas from dying. Dean thanks him for that for the second time in 12x15.

In 12x21 Crowley knows about Cas’s bailing off with Kelly. He tells Lucifer about it and calls Cas “Winchesters’ love slave”. He thinks that Cas wants to kill Kelly’s baby. Then Lucifer gets free, and Crowley sacrifices himself to stop him. To save the world, the Winchesters... and Cas - for the third time. 

So Cas was important for Crowley from season 6. He is one of the main reasons Crowley acknowledged Winchesters at all, saw something in them. 

And Crowley, in his own turn, is one of the main characters to expose nature of Destiel. He was always somewhere in the middle of their relationship, mostly as Dean’s mirror. 

Well, from season 13 the nature of Destiel changed. 

[chicagocityofclans]

Jia Hu Cleirigh → Harry Shum Jr. → Warlock

→ Basic Information

Age: 872

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Powers: Illusionist

Birthday: January 31

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Religion: Buddhism

→ His Personality Jia has somewhat of a bleeding heart, especially for young supernaturals. He always tries to extend a hand and take watch over them. Sometimes this works, other times it backfires. He makes his parties a safe space for all who attend, and believes he is bringing the supernatural community closer with them. Another reason he hosts these many soirees is because of his strong hatred of being alone. The silence becomes deafening at times, especially if one of his mentees or Garrett is not there. He has a strong streak for the dramatics inside, which is clearly evident when looking at his home and lifestyle. Decadence and a love for vibrant and rich colors fill his home and excess is often seen in his parties. This decadence is solely due to the illusions he can create.

In an effort to understand the people he meets, Jia loves long conversations. He likes diving deep with others, but refuses to open up about himself. This results in many casual friends, but none incredibly close. He can be a difficult person to deal with; often with very high highs and low lows. Jia is also very particular about what he believes is good and bad and will not waiver or be understanding when it comes to those closest to him. This has been a major sticking point and cause of breakups for him and Garrett.

→ His/Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Charms Master and Mentor

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Persian Rugs and Libras

Two Dislikes: Houndstooth and Burgers

Two Fears: Being alone and Being Stalked

Two Hobbies: Creating Charms and Antiquing

Three Positive Traits: Charismatic, Reliable, Compassionate

Three Negative Traits: Dramatic, Unrepentant, Difficult

→ His/Her Connections

Parent Names:

Hu Mingxia (Mother): Jia has mostly sense memories of his mother; the way she smelled, the sound of her voice etc. He can’t recall her face anymore, which is a cause of great distress for him.

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Garrett Cleirigh (Love): Garrett is simultaneously one of the best and worst people Jia has ever known. They fight and fall back in love with each other every time afterwards. He sees the good in him, when most others refuse to, and knows that he’s a good man Jia believes that he wants forever with Garrett, but refuses to admit that long term commitment is terrifying even to him

Platonic Connections:

Ronan Cleirigh (Former Mentor): Ronan was the first person who saw Jia’s potential. Jia had begun training under a witch in Saigon when he came across Ronan. He had a sense that Ronan was exactly what he needed. It took him months, but he eventually got Ronan to consider taking him in. His life truly started under his tutelage.

Judson Cleirigh (Old Friend): Judson and Jia have been friends for a long time. He deeply respects Judson and his drive and ambition to help cure the magical world.

Ryan Cleirigh (Mentee): Jia has known Ryan since he was born. He is a mini Judson, so when he begged to begin mentoring under him Jia was surprised. He was happy to, much to Judson’s dismay, and they began working on Ryan’s powers. Recently, Ryan has been pushing to work on his advanced levels, which Jia knows is a bad idea.

Nathan Cleirigh (Therapist): Jia has been going to Nathan for years, and makes very little progress due to his unwillingness to open up. He’s wondering if therapists can fire their patients and if so why Nathan hasn’t fired him yet.

Minsky Edison (Former Mentor): Jia briefly worked with Minsky while studying his advanced level powers. He had significant trouble with Psychosomatic Illusions and working about a decade with Minsky cleared it up.

Rhiannon Draga (Former Mentor): Jia worked briefly with Rhiannon while mastering charms. Her support helped push him to the very end, for which he is grateful.

Jace Cicero (Friend): Jace is a sad guy, and Jia wants to fix him and bring him out of his shell. In the centuries of knowing Jace, Jia has never seen him connect on a deeper level with anyone, and Jia thinks he could help.

Sid Velancia (Mentee): Jia was Sid’s first mentor. No one was scrambling to claim him, but Jia saw some potential. He did well with his beginning powers, and uncommonly, Sid chose to stay with Jia. He debated trying to find a new mentor but figured he wanted to learn charms anyway and was comfortable with Jia’s teaching style. Jia thinks he is doing very well with his training, and he is glad that he stayed.

Ken McStevens (Former Mentee):  Ken used to mentor under Jia until he tried to feed off of Ronan. Ronan had given Jia and Ken an ultimatum, Ken’s death or Ronan would take over as his mentor. The choice was obvious. Jia is still annoyed at the ultimatum, but knew better than to argue with Ronan. He’s doing well with his new mentor and Jia sees him for Charms lessons.

Belle Cunningham (New Friend): He only met Belle within the last few years when Sid brought her along to one of Jia’s parties. He immediately felt a kinship with her; whether it is their love for their mothers or having a dramatic partner. Belle is one of the first invites to his parties, and he’s considered offering a spot to her for her Advanced levels.

Flower Hanes (Friend): There is something so endearing about Flower. He loves that she stood up to the Wilhelms and is trying to go about her life in her own way. There is also something that reminds him of Garrett in her that he gravitates toward.

Scorpius Getta (Friend): Jia very quickly embraced the vampires and their establishments. He appreciates those who go outside of the box and can always find something to chat about with Getta.

Lawrence Cocci (Friend): Fire starters have a tendency to be destructive, even when their powers are blocked, as they are at one of Jia’s parties. He only recently began inviting Lawrence around, and so far he hasn’t disappointed.

Gretchen Sims (Life of the Party): Gretchen always brings hordes of people into his parties, crossing all species. He thinks that if she focused on her ability to bring people together, she could be a major player in unifying Chicago’s supernatural community.

Luke Bowick (Party Guest): Luke has that borderline crazy vibe, and Jia is frankly kind of into it. He and Gretchen always bring hordes of species to his party and have a way of getting those not a part of the immortal three comfortable.

Carter Bialar (Semi-Regular Partier): Carter Bialar has been showing up at his parties lately. It’s a shocking turn of pace, but one he hopes will lead to other animal shifters feeling more comfortable with him and his parties.

Duke Thornton (Friend): Jia has always preferred Duke to Aries. They befriended one another while Jia was still in his beginning levels and have maintained that friendship ever since. Jia likes Peter, but wonders what will happen once Duke gets his powers back.

Peter Knox (Friendly): Jia can’t help but see Peter as a bit of a tragic figure. He doesn’t know that there’s a timeline on him and Duke and it has endeared him to Jia. He really likes him and will occasionally swing by Anonymous to talk with him.

Sadie McCoy (Friend): Jia adores Sadie. She can be such a stick in the mud Underground, but as soon as she is released from those duties she is so fun. Jia doesn’t even care that she brings her weird scary vampire friend.

Sven (Unsure): He loves Sadie, but Sven never says anything to him at his parties, but he has yet to hurt anyone so he can keep coming.

West Freeman (Party Goer): West is a mess. A fun mess, but still a disaster. He knows that Roman supplies him and that he does potions while everyone is getting carried away. He is the only rat who does not seem to care about his surroundings.

Dakota English (Party Goer): Heaven help the DDs, especially when it is the intoxicated person’s partner. Dakota never seems to fully relax at the parties, and his guess is that it has to do with her boyfriend always over doing it. He feels for her and willingly ignores the snooping she tries to do.

Churchill Darling (Party Goer): Churchill is a frequent party goer, usually hanging around Patch. He’s able to charm the room easily and tends to play well with others.

Jev ‘Patch’ Cipriano (Party Goer): Patch and Judson are best friends, and he’s known Patch for centuries. He often swings by to see Ryan as well, and he has roped Jia into the plot to get Ryan a girlfriend.

Vincent Kane (Party Goer): Vincent never really seems like he enjoys coming to the party, but he is usually seen if Patch and Church are there.

Adelaide ‘Addie’ Blanchett (Party Goer): Addie and Monty are newer to the area, but of the few times they’ve talked to Jia, they seem sweet.

Montgomery ‘Monty’ Wilders (Party Goer): Ada and Monty are newer to the area, but of the few times they’ve talked to Jia, they seem sweet.

Raphael Caron (Party Goer): Raphael is another one of the vampires who come up from the Underground to party. He and Ryan are best friends, and Jia has occasionally gone to him to provide refreshments for the vampires at his party.

Winnie Zhao (Good Friend): Winnie is one of the first native chinese speakers that he met once joining up with the Cleirighs. He always finds her very sweet to talk to and wishes they saw one another more.

Cassandra Askeris (Friend): Jia and Cassandra have crossed paths several times over their lives due to mutual friends and in more recent decades have formed a friendship of their own.

Louis Martin-Rovet (Spy): Jia knows that Louis spies on them during the party, but has accepted it, and always makes sure there’s some illusion to pull his attention away from something big. Jia futilely believes that if they get to know witches and warlocks that they’d realize they aren’t the monstrous creatures they believe they are spying on.

Helo Adama (Accomplice): Helo often looks like he has never actually been to a party before. It is very much not his scene, but it’s cute that he tries. He doesn’t seem as dedicated to the snooping as some of the other rats.

Hanna Moore (Accomplice): She’s the nicest rat who attends and stays sober, and Jia wants her to come by herself for once. But her fiance seems sweet.

Talia Cleirigh (Friend): Jia has gone to Talia for help removing and altering dreams that he’s had, specifically about Garrett cheating on him. She hasn’t commented on the dreams she removed, which he is incredibly grateful for.

Hostile Connections:

Kaylor Cleirigh (Dislike): Despite the fact that Jia gets along with nearly every Cleirigh, Kaylor just hates him. He’s tried but knows it has something to do with his and Garrett’s on and off. Jia’s accepted it, and just stays out of her way when she comes to town.

Pets:

Meowses (Siamese/Familiar): Meowses was given to Jia as a birthday present by Judson. He’d mentioned getting a cat for nearly a decade, but wasn’t sure he’d pick out a cat he’d want forever. The Cleirighs got tired of hearing it and picked out a cat at random for him. It turned out to be his perfect match in cat form and they’ve been together for about two centuries.

→ History (paragraph(s) on background)

→ The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

[donatello-writes]

Not Quite Human - Donatello x Reader

Part II can be found here --> (x)

The gentle glow of the television lit up your darkened apartment, you were wrapped up in a blanket on your couch hanging on every word of a news broadcast. Four mysterious vigilantes aided the police department in defeating the ominous alien spacecraft that threatened New York city not but a week ago. A smile crossed your lips as you entertained the idea that if aliens existed in this scenario, perhaps the vigilantes weren’t human either. Gossip flew regarding the identities of the heroes ranging from aliens to monsters, and many accounts claimed to have seen what were described as “swamp things”. A notion that delighted you, as matters of the occult and mythical creatures had always held your interest, even though you knew that none of it was real. 

“Maybe I’ll see one of those swamp things,” You voiced to your empty apartment and chuckled.

Deep down within the sewer systems, a certain nerdy turtle sneezed while in the midst of having the meltdown of his life. The champions secured their victory over the Krang, and they finally had some down time, but Donatello couldn’t relax. The brainy terrapin paced back and forth in the living room of the Lair so furiously, one would think he was attempting to wear a hole in the floor. He was understandably restless, as his thoughts on what his older sibling had done whipped around in his head like a maelstrom. A memory so vivid in his mind, it felt as if it’d happened yesterday. The vial of ooze shattering against the walls of the lair, lost forever.

“How could he do this?!–Don’t answer that, it was a rhetorical question…I know Raph is a doer not a thinker,” the teched-up turtle vented his frustrations to Michelangelo, the person he often turned to for emotional support. Much like himself, his little brother was more sensitive and empathetic than their other two brothers. 

“I dunno, dude…but hey, it’s not all that bad bein’ green,” the orange masked turtle smiled warmly, trying his best to comfort Donatello, as he always did. Despite his cheerful demeanor, he was hurting over the impulsive decision as well. Raphael meant no malice with his actions, he honestly had no idea what this meant to his younger siblings, but that fact didn’t make up for the outcome.

“Neither of them understand, but I know that you do, Mikey,” the fretful terrapin sighed heavily, meeting eyes with his brother. Both of the young turtles yearned to know what it felt like to be human, to be able to walk around topside without being viewed as freaks or, worse yet…monsters. With their only chance having been destroyed by an act of impulse, they were both understandably distraught.

“Yeah, I totally get it,” Mikey admitted, finally showing his disappointment with the situation. “But what can we do? The purple stuff that we had is gone now.” 

Donatello’s expression fell into anguish at the veracity of his brother’s statement. “That’s true, and it’d be impossible for us to successfully secure more from the Shredder…Not just the two of us, anyway,” The bespectacled turtle’s eyes focused downwards as he finally settled down into a seat. “Also, we don’t know for sure if they have more of the formula created.” 

Michelangelo’s face almost looked pained at this point, he didn’t want to think about the harsh reality of the situation for even a moment longer. He rose from the table, giving his brother one last half-hearted smile.“Well, it was a nice dream, but what-evs,” the now undeniably gloomy young terrapin patted his brother on the shell before getting up and trudging to his room. 

Donatello pinched the bridge of his snout as he sat alone in the common room, despair consuming him. All he wanted was to experience what it was like to be human, and he would never get that chance now. The ooze was unsalvageable, what little remained was now still splattered across the lair walls. His golden eyes became misty as they beheld Raphael’s masterpiece, in all it’s glory. Suddenly, a bit of light reflected off a small portion of the stain, grabbing the brooding turtle’s attention. Was it really still liquid? Impossible.

Jumping to his feet, he approached the wall, inspecting it thoroughly. The ooze had somehow remained viable, his jaw dropped in disbelief. The once sorrowful terrapin’s hope was renewed, all he needed was even the smallest amount for analysis and he could find a way to replicate it. Now filled with excitement, he bounded into his lab to retrieve a petri dish and swab to collect the ooze specimen. He scraped his prize from the surface with great precision, careful not to contaminate it with too much concrete from wall upon which it was affixed. After successfully recovering a sample, Donatello let out a relishing chuckle as he shut himself away in his lab, fueled by enthusiasm and determination. 

In the months following the start of his endeavor, he lied about the specifics of it, telling his brothers that he was working on some amazing invention that would aid them in their missions. It was obvious that he couldn’t tell Leonardo or Raphael, as they clearly didn’t understand. And after much debate, he finally came to the decision to leave Michelangelo in the dark as well, not wanting to get his hopes up; that, and he was awful at keeping secrets. The genius worked tirelessly, months rolled by, and before he knew it, a year had passed. He felt as though he wasn’t accomplishing anything, becoming increasingly frustrated with each passing day. 

It was 5:00 a.m. when a sleep deprived and starving Donatello stumbled out of his lab in pursuit of sustenance. He wore his purple mask as a necklace and groaned with every step that he took towards to the kitchen. Once there, he made a bee line for the coffee pot, his savior. Raphael had just finished his early morning workout and spotted the elusive mad scientist, stalking him into the kitchen. 

“Whaddaya doin’ outta yer geek den?” the question came in the form of a growl as the burly terrapin eyed his younger sibling, who simply responded by shooting a glare in his general direction. 

Choosing to ignore him, Donatello simply continued setting up his coffee, clicking the appliance on to work it’s magic, and then reached into one of the cabinets, to retrieve a box of blueberry flavored Pop-Tarts. 

“Whut eva…” the hot-headed turtle’s words trailed off as if he had more to say, but he stopped himself; this silence was fleeting, however. As always, he just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie, so he started again,“Ya know…when I got a problem wit someone I tell ‘em, but I guess I’m just bawlsier than most.” the bait was set, and he waited for his younger brother to take it. The troublemaker used this tactic with frequent success, but Donatello was in no mood for his shenanigans, and the mechanical sputter of the busy coffee pot was the only thing to be heard between the two turtles. 

The still sleepy terrapin proceeded to pour his coffee, and munch on his breakfast, letting Raphael stand there and simmer. When it became apparent that he the he no interest in talking, the rageful reptile’s temper went through the roof. “FINE. I thought so! Avoidin’ any sawt of conflict like usual! Enjoy yer cawffee break.” He stormed out of the room grumbling.

“Conflict…” He muttered to himself as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the word turning over and over in his head before he had a sudden realization. “That’s…that’s it!!!” He exclaimed, rushing from the kitchen with his coffee mug in one hand, and half-eaten Pop-Tart in the other. The genius sped past Raphael, rattling off scientific terms to himself like a mad man. When he reached his lab, he turned and stopped to stare down his brother before grinning wide and slamming the doors shut. 

“DONNIIIIIIE!!!” Raphael roared, racing up to the large laboratory doors and thrusting his fists into them. The doors showed no signs of permitting entry from the assault, but he did leave a significant dent.

*****************************   

Across the city, you ran down the darkened streets dressed in a lab coat and business casual. You were late for work, but chose the sweet relief of alertness over punctuality, as you quickly slipped into a small coffee shop to grab a cup. And today, you needed that extra boost of energy more than any other. After securing your liquid adrenaline, you happily headed to work, not needing to walk far. You approached the gigantic facility that was TCRI, and walked inside. As always, you held up your credentials to the guards at the desk, who permitted entry, and touched your badge to an electronic pad which then granted you access through secure titanium doors. 

Doing your best to stifle the overwhelming stress that all but consumed you as of late, you drew in a deep breath and went about your normal routine at the laboratory. As the day wound down to a close, you prepared to carry out the mission you had been given. It was now late into the night, and all of your colleagues had long since left for the day. 

You remained, working on the latest project involving nano technology as a form of biological warfare. Subtly sabotaging the efforts of the project; in good conscience, you couldn’t allow it to be successful. The very idea of implementing this abhorrent tactic made you cringe, but you did what needed to be done in order to carry out a far more important assignment, retrieving a vial of Dr. Stockman’s highly sought after genetic modification formula. Tonight, you would secure a sample to bring back to your actual employer.

The security guards weren’t even a bother, all you needed was a little bit of Nitrous Oxide to temporarily take care of them. Slipping silently into the main laboratory, you did a quick survey of your surroundings before proceeding. Having already knocked out the security cameras, and programmed them to show previously recorded footage, you were not concerned. Knowing exactly where it was kept, you located the ooze and tucked the vial into your pants pocket posthaste. 

“Y/N?” Instantly recognizing that voice, you turned to see one of the head geneticists, Sampson, steadily approaching you from across the room.

“Hello, Sampson.” You greeted your colleague tactfully, showing not even an ounce of lost composure from his unanticipated presence.

“Why are you in here? This isn’t your working sector.” He inquired through narrowed eyes, all the while analyzing you skeptically.

“Doreen asked for my assistance with the centrifugation of subjects 2201XJ8 and 2243XW9.” You had glanced briefly at the recent project files earlier in the day to prepare yourself for just this type of scenario.

“That’s odd…2201XJ8 and 2243XW9 were contaminated and, thus, thrown away several hours ago…” suspicion piqued, he advanced towards you quicker than you could react. Attempts to flee came too late, and he managed to grab hold of your collar. Swiftly wriggling out of your lab coat, you gained freedom from his grasp. Thinking on your feet, you hit the conveniently placed bright red lock down button and slid underneath the door, trapping your coworker inside. Something told you that you weren’t the first person to do that. 

Sampson wasted no time dialing a contact in his phone as he watched you escape, “Yes…Hello, I heard that your gang will do pretty much anything for the right price…I have a job for you.” He knew full well that he couldn’t enlist the foot ninjas for assistance, admitting his incompetence to the Shredder was a fate worse than death. Completing the transaction with his hired thugs, he smiled deviously as they confirmed their pursuit of you. The sunrise met your eyes as you fled the building, taking off down the street knowing that you weren’t out of the woods just yet.

*********************************

It had been over a year since Donatello began his quest for the ooze, and now the culmination of his hard work was finally coming to fruition. And in all irony of ironies he, partially, had Raphael to thank for it. The purple liquid bubbled within the beaker that housed it, begging to be tested, and the genius just couldn’t resist. He carried on like a kid who received the keys to a candy store. 

Unfortunately, he couldn’t test it right away, what with his brothers in the lair. With all of them present, it would be impossible for him to slip out in his human form unseen. So he waited. Several days later, the police scanner picked up a report of foot clan activity, and Leonardo called his brothers together to discuss plans to investigate. Donatello smooth talked his way out of going, claiming he was close to a breakthrough in his research, which wasn’t a complete lie. He simply neglected to mention that it pertained to the purple ooze.

With his brothers out chasing the foot, the brainy terrapin had the lair to himself, at long last! Well, with the exception of Master Splinter, but sneaking past him was a non-issue. Donatello was beaming as he ­­­peered into the vessel that contained his scientific masterpiece, just one sip should be enough…He knew that the effects of his synthetic ooze would be temporary, a purposeful attribute given to it by him, it’s creator. All the purple clad turtle wanted to do was experience what is was like to be human. If, following the testing phase, he felt as though he was meant to be that way, he’d later rework the formula to be permanent. That, however, was a venture for another day, now was the time for experimentation. 

Shutting his eyes tight, he drank from the vial. After waiting for a moment, he opened them, unsure of when it would take effect. Suddenly, his muscles began to ache, as a tense feeling surged throughout his body. He watched his fingers divided from three to five on each hand, just as he’d witnessed when he tested the formula previously. Gradually, his skin changed from green to a pale peach and his scales smoothed out into soft flesh. The excited lad tripped over himself while rushing into his bathroom, wanting to watch in the mirror as the transformation unfolded.  

Donatello stared back at himself in awe, he had ears! The oversized tortoise shell glasses he always wore slipped down his face more than usual as his snout took the shape of a much smaller, yet still prominent, human nose. Freckles dusted across his pale cheeks and shoulders as wavy raven black hair cascaded down from his head, delicately framing his face and stopping just a few inches past his jawline. He was so distracted by his new facial features that he didn’t even notice his shell had disappeared. 

Once the metamorphosis was complete, the triumphant brainiac threw his head back, and laughed like an evil genius. A slight reduction in body mass occurred during his shift in form, not enough to be discernible to the naked eye, however, it was enough to cause his pants to lose their grip on his hips. The villainous laughter was interrupted when his bottoms proceeded to slip from his slender human waist, and he grabbed his Millennium Falcon patterned boxers before those followed suit. 

“Oh no…what am I supposed to do? I can’t go topside in the nude.” to remedy his immediate and unexpected need for human clothing, he turned to Michelangelo’s room. That pack-rat of a turtle collected mundane artifacts as if they were valuable treasures to be hoarded, surely he’d be able to find something usable in that mess. Donatello entered the room, piles upon piles of clothing, unusable electronics, and other clutter filled it, along with several empty boxes of pizza. He scrunched his nose at the effluvia that hung in the air, his little brother somehow managed to make his particular corner of the sewer smell even fouler.

Holding his breath, the nerdy young man randomly chose one of the many mounds of oddments and rummaged through it. After some digging, he managed to find one black muscle tee that read “Rad Dude” in a trendy red colored font, a pair of very worn black converse shoes, and a pair of denim jeans, ripped at the knees. The best article of clothing he’d found in the stash being a flannel shirt in various shades of purple. Having no time to be picky, the thief made off with what he’d found.

While returning to his laboratory to get changed, the turtle turned human was nearly knocked out by the putrid clothing that he held in his arms. This was unacceptable, there was no way he was going to wear something that smelled worse than a sewer, he needed to wash the garments before he ventured to the surface. Stepping into the seldom used laundry room, Donatello flicked on the lights and blew the dust from the old machines. As he reached for detergent, he wondered if they even still worked. Tossing the clothing and soap into the washer, he turned it on to find, much to his surprise, that it was still fully functioning.

Now needing to wait for his clothing to go through the entire washing and drying process, the impatient turtle fidgeted in frustration at the unexpected delay. Coming to terms with his predicament, he passed the time by logging the alterations that occurred during his shift in form, to ensure he had enough information to further his research on the ooze’s effects. Making quick work of his notes, he then switched the laundry to the dryer. The waiting game began anew and he swiftly found himself consumed by boredom once more. He wondered what else he could do to fully immerse himself in the human experience. 

Thinking about how atrocious his clothing smelled, and worried the washing may not fully rid the garments of their stench, he decided to create a fragrance. Knowing full well that humans often wore scents to conceal smells, but also for the purpose of attracting potential partners. Donatello scoffed at the thought, the likelihood of him finding another person who shared mutual interest during the, more than likely short, duration of his experiment was slim at best. 

As if he were concocting a a witches brew, the bespectacled lad swirled together various scents into one of his unused beakers. In no time at all, he had a cologne with top notes of orange blossom and vanilla, middle hints of almond, and a musky base. More than satisfied with his Eau de Don, he dabbed it on gleefully.

All the sudden, a clatter came from the living room, and the sound of his brothers voices could be heard. Donatello’s smile dropped, there was no way they’d already returned from their mission, it felt as though they’d just left. The digital clock on one of his many computers proved him wrong, it was already 4:00am! He’d gotten so carried away in preparation for his excursion topside, that he paid no attention to how quickly the hours flew by. 

Thankfully, the time spent wasn’t a complete waste, he documented when he administered the ooze and was tracking the duration of it’s effectiveness. Exactly eight hours had elapsed, and he was still human. Quite an impressive lasting ability, he thought, giving himself a congratulatory pat on the back. Unfortunately, with his brothers now home, he was effectively trapped in his laboratory for the time being. He couldn’t just saunter out of his lab looking the way he did, what a spectacle that would be. 

“Looks like I have another sleepless night, er…well, day at this point.” He chuckled to himself, slumping back in his computer chair. It took two more hours before the potency of the ooze came to an end. The reversion from human to mutant being, unsurprisingly, more painful than the obverse. Now returned to his old turtle self, the purple masked ninja ventured out into the common room, only to find his brothers passed out on the couch and the floor. He stifled a laugh, turning on his heel back into his laboratory. Seizing this opportunity, he wasted no time administering himself more ooze and stealing up and away to the surface.

Wintry weather was drawing to a close, and a slight warmth danced on the breeze as spring began to move in. The mutant in human’s clothing relished in the glow of the sun, something he didn’t have the privilege of doing often. Strolling down the street like Toby McGuire in Spiderman, Donatello was smiling from ear to ear. He was topside in broad daylight and not a soul took notice of him, he couldn’t believe it, it almost felt like a dream.

Not paying attention to where he was going, the happy go lucky lad found himself lost in a more secluded side of town. Sure, he could easily navigate New York at night, but the city looked so different during the daytime. Suddenly, a cry of distress shattered his concentration. It came from somewhere nearby. Instinctively, the ninja rushed in the direction from which the voice originated. 

The shouts led him to an alleyway where two rough looking men circled around you, your hands poised to fight, but subtle shuddering alluded to hesitancy and fear. They were both very muscle bound, one slightly smaller than the other, with distinct purple dragon tattoos on their arms. When Donatello approached, they immediately took notice of his presence. 

“What’s going on here?” He demanded a response from the ne'er-do-wells, despite knowing the answer.

“Get outta here, four eyes.” the smaller thug scoffed, “You see, this little rat has something that we want.” and the larger man chimed in, “So, it’d be in your best interest if you left us to our business.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Donatello stood his ground, “It’d be in your best interest if you left them alone.” He then assumed a fighting stance. 

The brawnier of the two men eyed the brave young man and laughed incredulously. “And just what exactly are you going to do to stop us, little man?” 

To which Donatello replied, “Looks can be deceiving.” aside from having a height advantage, there was no denying that the thugs had significant size over him. They were far more massive compared to his still muscular, yet lithe, build. Finally acknowledging their potential threat, the two men advanced towards their new target, leaving their prey behind.

The stranger turned hero locked eyes with you, “Run, you have to get out of here, it’s not safe!” an exclamation that was cut short by the smaller thug, who came rushing at him, brandishing a knife. With keen reflexes, Donatello deflected the attack, kicking upwards at just the right moment to send the knife whipping over his assailant’s shoulder. Once you’d seen that maneuver, there was no way you were about to leave. You were far too intrigued by this ridiculously tall young man with undeniably amazing fighting skills, you yearned to learn more.

“Alright, mister fancy feet, it’s time to dance.” the larger man jested as he cracked is fists, fitting brass knuckles onto them. Donatello scanned the area and grabbed a nearby pipe from the dumpster, twirling it through the air, just as he would his bow staff. If there’s one thing his father taught him, it was that anything can be used as a weapon if wielded properly. 

“Haha, look at this, I guess dance class is over, and now it’s time for baton practi–” using the metal pipe, Donatello knocked the wind out of the hulking hoodlum before he could even finish his taunt, sending him flying backwards into a pile of garbage. 

“I suppose I can strike ‘taking out the trash’ from my list of chores.” Donatello snorted at his own one-liner and his gaze happened upon you, as you watched with wonder. A smile played across your lips, and you laughed at his witticism, waving to him. The suddenly flustered hero awkwardly waved back.

The knife wielding thug recovered his weapon, catching Donatello off-guard as he flirted with you, slipping the knife to his throat from behind. The thug was unsuccessful in his attempt, however, when the captive drove his heel into the man’s foot, causing him to release the knife. While his assailant was distracted, he reached both arms around, heaved the man over his shoulder, and back dropped him onto the hard pavement. There was no recovering from that attack anytime soon. He then shifted his stance to face the other foe, who had since recuperated from the previous assault. The behemoth barreled towards him like a charging rhinoceros. 

“Bad move, I know exactly how to deal with this.” Donatello smirked as he anchored himself with the pipe, and delivered a swift low kick to the thug’s ankles, causing him to topple to the ground. Confident that he had both enemies disabled, your victorious rescuer turned his attention to you.

“Are you alright?” the lanky lad inquired as he sprinted to your side, adrenaline still pumping from the fight. He failed to stop soon enough, resulting in him accidentally knocking you against one of the brick walls in the alleyway. The two of you were nose-to-nose, so close that you could feel each other’s breath. His towering form would have been intimidating, if not for the goofy smile on his face. 

“Aaah, oh my god, I am so sorry!” He promptly leapt back, “You didn’t need that on top of what you’ve already been through today. I am really, really sorry, I’m such a klutz.” He apologized profusely, running his fingers through his purple tinged black hair, refusing to meet your gaze.

“Jeeze, that was like something straight out of a cheesy rom-com.” You jested, in an attempt to ease his nerves. 

Not the reaction that he was expecting, the nervous hero let out a sigh of relief. “Y-yeah, I suppose that it was, wasn’t it?” He stuttered, still a bit anxious, but less so thanks to your funny observation. 

“And you’re certainly no klutz, I saw the way you fought off those goons, you’re incredible! How’d you learn to fight like that?” You asked him, eyes filled with amazement and genuine curiosity. 

“Well, my father taught me, along with my brothers…” Donatello replied flatly, in an attempt not to appear worked up by your compliment, for fear that he’d make a fool of himself further. Butterflies were forming in his chest, he’d never spoken to another person so close to his age, aside from April and Casey. 

Unfortunately for him, you were eager to learn more about your happenstance hero, and before he knew it, he was being quizzed rapid-fire. “Oh, you have brothers? How many?” and with barely a breath in between, you rattled off more questions. “What are their names? What’s yours?”

“Uuuh…three…Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo…And I’m--my names Donatello.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Donatello. My name is Y/N! What interesting names…are your parents big fans of Italian Renaissance artists?” You looked to him, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Okay, stop. STOP. I don’t recall agreeing to a game of 21 questions!” He put an end to your onslaught of inquiries. 

Enthusiasm quashed, you backed off, smiling at him sheepishly. Though it wasn’t long before you bounced back, and with one hand on your hip and the other pointing at Donatello, you offered a proposal. “Alright, then…Would you like to play 21 questions?” Your eyes flickering with anticipation, the same kind of unrelenting determination he frequently saw in his brother, Mikey. 

From experience with this personality type, Donatello knew it would be easier to simply humor you rather than try to get out of it. He was absolutely baffled by you, your intentions were unclear, and he was not certain that you were someone he could trust. Regardless, he reluctantly agreed to engage in your game. 

“I’m so sorry for that…sometimes I get a bit carried away. I enjoy meeting new people and learning about what factors lead to making that person into who they are.” You grinned, playfully kicking up your feet as you strolled down the street together. It was obvious that Donatello was trying to keep his distance, as the space between the two of you was fairly significant, to the point where it appeared as if you were walking separately. “You don’t trust me, do you?” He cursed at how perceptive you were. 

“Well, to be honest, no…not really. We’ve only just met.” He stated simply, his eyes scanning you up and down with suspicion. There was a long silence before you broke it with another question.

“How tall are you?” He was amused by the obvious question and quickly answered, “6'6”“ 

“You must garner a lot of attention walking down the street.” a comment that threw him into a fit of laughter as he thought about what he actually looked like. If only you knew how little he drew attention this way compared to if he strutted down the street in his real form. 

“What? HA! Me? No way. Now if I were–” Donatello clammed up, he nearly outed himself  to human that he’d just met. As if you’d ever believe him, but still…there was just something about you, you were easy to talk to. He laughed again at the thought before continuing, “Uuuh, so, you said that you have a dog, right?” He attempted to redirect your attention by also engaging in the game with his own inquiry. 

“What was that? You just trailed off mid-sentence.” an attempt to no avail, you demanded a reason for his inexplicable change of subject. “And…I don’t remember telling you that I have a dog.” in that moment, roles reversed, and you were the one suspicious of him. 

Another misstep, this was very out of character for Donatello; and for the first time in a while, he felt vulnerable. After some quick reflection, he realized that he’d picked up on the dog’s scent during your accidental close encounter in the alley earlier. Though his nose appeared human, his senses themselves, remained as sharp as they’d always been. 

“Are you a stalker?” You questioned him bluntly. 

“What? No, I’m not stalking you, I promise.” 

The sincerity of his answer confirmed your speculation to be false.“Alright…but I’m watching you!” You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Who’s the stalker now?” the charming young man shot you a cheesy grin upon delivering his terrible joke. You stuck your tongue out at him, and he chuckled. A sudden breeze whipped up, startling the two of you. Even though the winter weather had mostly gone, a slight chill remained in the air. You shivered reflexively, realizing that you had sacrificed your coat amidst the chaos of escaping from Dr. Stockman’s laboratory. 

Donatello immediately noticed your discomfort and removed his flannel over-shirt, giving it to you with a warm smile. His cold blooded innards were not happy with his choice to shed clothing, and he was unable to disguise his own trembling reaction to the cold as he handed you his shirt. Without saying a word, you reached out a shaky hand and took it. While you were putting it on, a blush crossed you face for just a moment, as his scent wafted up from the clothing. 

“Thanks.” the pleasantry was all that you could muster for words as you fought hard to stave off your rosiness. 

“Purple looks good on you.” that sweet compliment pushed you over the edge, and your face flushed completely red as you turned away from him. 

“Y/N…Are you alri–” His sentence was brought to a halt as an all too familiar feeling hit him abruptly, indicating that the ooze’s potency was waning. Aware that his time as a human was now limited, he took a queue from his older brother, Raphael, and acted on instinct. The distressed young man proceeded to back away slowly before breaking out into a full sprint. With your back turned, you were none the wiser. Feeling suddenly alone, you finally turned to find that your escort had vanished, leaving only his flannel shirt to remember him by.

…to be continued.

[isaackuo]

No thoughts on “Sad Teen Hotline”, huh?

My upcoming episode guesses

Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell

The cutesy title sounds like a story being told by (or for) Meteora. It would be super cute if this were told in an artistic puppet style or something.

Ghost of Butterfly Castle

I’m not sure if the background fits, but if it does then I guess this is where we see Moon looking up in horror? So I’m guessing this is a Moonriver episode.

Cornball!

We already have an official description that this is where Star tries to convince Buff Frog to return to Mewni. The name “Cornball!” with an exclamation point makes it sound like it might be basketball, but … I’m guessing Ludo and Dennis playing basketball is actually Doop-Doop. We’ll see soon enough. But I feel like Star finding and asking Buff Frog to return to Mewni is going to consume the full 11 minutes.

Also, I feel like this is the climactic story point of this block. Buff Frog’s decision to leave Mewni was a big part of S3’s main story - it hammered home how Princess Star Butterfly could try her best and it still wouldn’t be enough. Imploring Buff Frog to return is going to be heavy emotional stuff. This is no time for flipping Ludo playing hoops with Dennis.

Meteora’s Lesson

We already have an official description that this is where Glossaryck needs Meteroa to help him with an errand. But since this is in the 4 slot, I feel like this is going to end on something momentous like Surviving the Spiderbites did. Perhaps this will continue the storyline of Star and the remaining piece of the Book of Spells?

- - -

The Knight Shift

Maybe just comedic filler? This sounds like it has to do with Mewni’s Knights, and they haven’t been much more than comedic stuff.

Queen-Napped

I’m guessing Mina kidnaps Queen Eclipsa.

Junkin’ Janna

Okay so what gives? We go from zero Janna episodes to two Janna episodes in the final act? Heck, not even Tom has had any episodes titled after him (although I guess Lake House Fever counts since it’s a reference to Tom’s voice actor that fandom noticed right away). Well, whatever. I’m guessing this is comedic filler. But I love Janna so it’ll be fun for me. But what is it doing in the 3 slot? Is it going to have some Tomstar or Kellco stuff jammed in there like The Ponyhead Show?

A Spell with No Name

We think of Star as loud and flashy, but her most powerful spell has been the whispering spell. And her most powerful emotion is one she keeps silent about. So I’m guessing the spell with no name is even more powerful than the whispering spell.

Hmm … what if this is one of those “inside the wand” episodes? I normally would be disappointed with this, since it’s in the 4 slot. But Star doesn’t have a wand now. So whatever the heck “inside the wand” means now would be trippy. Like, we saw a whole new world in Kelly’s World and it was glorious. A whole new “wand” interior? That could be pretty cool.

- - -

A Boy and His DC-700XE

I’m guessing this is a Marco episode with Marco and Nachos. But not in Hekapoo’s dimension. Marco’s like Raphael’s age in that dimension. That’s no “Boy”. So … in some other dimension. Maybe Kelly’s dimension? Or better yet, maybe some random dimension that we’ve never seen. Okay that’d be cool.

The Monster and the Queen

I’m going to go with the obvious guess that this is about Globgor and Eclipsa. But mostly in flashback because there’s no way this episode is showing Globgor being freed. If he were freed, then all heck would break loose in Mewni and there’s no way to be seriously considering:

Cornonation

We already have an official description that Star plans Eclipsa’s coronation. This is a half hour episode, inviting comparisons with Monster Bash. But I’m guessing Tom will be more helpful than he was in Monster Bash, and Kelly will be helping Marco with whatever duty he’s doing this time (maybe the Goblin Dog truck again?).

I had guessed maybe we might see a Starco dance at the prompting of Eclipsa. But … I dunno. That’s probably a stretch.

But there ought to be something more momentous for a half hour episode than just the coronation. Mina raids the party and fights Globgor? No … I don’t think so.

Okay, I’ve got it. Moon shows up and decides to give a speech supporting Eclipsa. Not like a full throated endorsement, but just … something that gets the Mewmans to give her another chance. And after the speech, Moon tells Star that she still doesn’t fully trust Eclipsa, but the good of Mewni comes first.

- - -

Doop-Doop

This sounds like a goofy name for basketball. So I’m guessing this is a Ludo episo…zzz… okay I just don’t care.

Britta’s Tacos

Okay, I’ll go wild with this one … I’m guessing Marco goes to get tacos and runs into Jackie. Lynn. Thomas. It’s been like a year since they’ve seen each other and they’re both a year hotter. They’re both doing great and they really connect and stuff and then Jackie finds out Marco’s dating Kelly. And Jackie’s like, “Dude. What are you doing?”

Beach Day

Okay, so Star’s still dating Tom, and Marco’s still dating Kelly. But here’s the thing. Both Star and Marco are currently happy. Star can be in love with her best friend Marco and still be happy that he’s happy. They can play on the beach and be happy for each other.

Gone Baby Gone

This may be a reference to the film of the same name, where a baby girl has been kidnapped from her irresponsible mother for her own good. Now Eclipsa may be somewhat irresponsible, but she seems to have taking care of Eclipsa covered (and she does have help).

So even though the obvious guess is that Meteora is kidnapped, I think that may be repetitive given Queen-napped. Instead, I’ll guess this is a story about Festivia and Hekapoo. I mean, we’ve already seen what Heinous’s tragic upbringing was like. But I’m guessing Hekapoo was a loving mother and Festivia was happy.

Oh I just can’t help myself:

Hekapoo: Marco, I know you don’t agree with everything I’ve done, but I still am proud of some things.

(Hekapoo points to Festivia’s picture)

Hekapoo: See that? See how happy she looks? She was happy.

Marco: That happiness came at the expense of someone else.

Hekapoo: I know. I mean, my brain knows. But my heart …

- - -

Sad Teen Hotline

The title kind of reminds me of the show-in-show in Steven Universe about Crying Breakfast Friends. So I’m guessing maybe this is a Ponyhead episode. Like, teens call the sad teen hotline and it gets answered by Ponyhead and Seahorse. Okay, that could be funny.

Jannanigans

Another Janna episode? Okay, this is in the 2 slot, so I’m pretty sure it’s going to be just some fun fluff filler.

Mama Star

I don’t know what this is, but it feels like a fakeout title like Marco Jr. Still, it’s in the 3 slot so there could be some significant plot development also.

Ready, Aim, Fire

This seems to be an obtuse title, like “Divide” and “Conquer”. And it’s in the 4 slot. I’m guessing that this is going to involve some serious plot development, but it’s purposefully obscured from us to avoid spoilers.

- - -

The Right Way

Another obtuse title, but I’m kind of feeling Ludo. Like, here would be a good time for Ludo’s story to actually start coming back to where it matters at all to something.

Here to Help

Another obtuse title, but again I’m kind of feeling Ludo.

Pizza Party

I feel like this is going to be one last gathering of all these friends. Kind of like in Honey and Clover when everyone is just hanging out at random, looking for a four leaf clover. And it’s the last time they’d ever all be together and they didn’t know it at the time.

The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse

I’m guessing this is a Hekapoo episode. It may be a reference to The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe in particular). I’m guessing that there’s something dimensional going on which will force Marco to move back to Earth.

- - -

Cleaved

Star gets together with Marco.

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 1

spoilers

Sorry blue lions. It was between eagles and deer for me. 

ch3: Well OK. The church is now using me as their personal political assassin are they?  

Fe3h fav characters so far: Tomas: knowledge grandpa! And one of the few I trust  Gatekeeper: my pure boy. On the topic of trust. You know who I don't trust? Claude. He always angling for something. Always digging for secrets never revealing his own

I didn't think I'd like Raphael so much but I do. He's so good natured. He always wants to help and even when the other kids are mean to him. His only response is more kindness. Like oh youre kinda grumpy right now how about a snack. Like a human shaped golden retriever. Full of love and very food motivated. As much as he's a complete musclehead, his emotional/social intelligence is pretty high. He just wants to make friends. Let Raphhael have friends!  

Guess who chose golden deerI was considering black eagle. But everyone did black eagle. I can go on youtube later. I haven't gotten it but on youtube is lorenz and sylvain's c and b supports and they are hilarious

I found japanese audio of fe3h and it just really hit me that Sylvain belongs in an otome game. I mean his character design (hair color, hair style etc.) and the way he acts is already... eh. But then his japanese voice actor... and its giving me this mental dissonance. Especially aince I've seen the character artist doing utapri, samflam, and other stuff.

weeho spoiled myself on supports: Everyday I grow less and less convinced of Sylvain's heterosexuality. Does he even like women?? He's just emotionally manipulating them as a self destructive coping mechanism because he has self worth issues.  So he presents himself as the superficial stuff like social status and then gets insecure and accuses them of only dating him for status. He's setting himself up for failure. And each tine reinforces his belief that he is nothing but his crest and family. Look at this disaster boy 

knowledge grandpa no! I trusted you and I trust so few people. I wonder if it was real Tomas who first joined but an impostor who rejoined a year ago

List of potential immortals: Jeralt, Rhea, Flayn. There are multiple mentions of Jeralt not seeming to age, he looked the same over 30 years ago. Rhea looks suspiciously like Saint Seiros and was archbishop 20 years ago. Flayn act both young and old and won’t give me her age. That said now that its revealed in the paraloge that Seteth is her dad, maybe not secretly an immortal so much as magical bloodline. Also Seiros, Rhea, Sothis, and Flayn are all related somehow. The green hair doesn’t help. And Byleth is somehow involved. I thought byleth might be part of the immortal gang but mom’s grave stone said she died at age 20 so byleth was born at the church like 20-21 years ago

support thoughts: Are all of huberts c supports just him insulting people?? each and every day I fall more in love with Dorothea. her support with Ferdinand where she straight up says she hates him, the voice acting on that! Lorenz and Ferdinand was hilarious. This is why you get bullied. Lorenz and Sylvain was also funny. Not a big fan of Bernadetta. 

Ok so update on the green haired tinfoil hatting: Flayn related to the saint cetholynn????? somehow and definitely real old.

end of part 1

Thinking back the crests and church(seiros/saints) are what turn people into demonic beasts. there are beasts with crest stones in their heads, in Remire villiage they tried to turn people using Flayn’s blood, and later succeeded. Flame emperor is using the church’s abilities against it. Also Rhea’s been seeking to replicate... something Seiros maybe?? (or more someone.. someone who was precious to her) by ripping the hearts out of babies and putting in a special one??? Rhea seem desperate, but I’m not sure what (or whom) she is desperate for. turning Byleth into Seiros??? There is a ... tension is her, like she is on the edge of snapping. And what was she trying to achieve there in the tomb before she was interrupted. For being “holy” relics, they sure are ominous looking. and they turn people into monsters. The whole church is sketch honestly. The propaganda and censorship campaigns. The crushing of any that are a threat under the language of sin and justice.

So Edelgard went full supervillian. Wow. And Rhea was the immaculate one huh (still don’t know what that means), here I was theory crafting that she was a reincarnated Seiros or something. Edelgard is like a worse Alm, she wants to rid humanity of dragons ruling over them and install a meritocracy. Her methods though are !!!!! yikes. I mean any reign that starts with “kill all that resist” can’t lead to anything good. Also out of 10 siblings only 1 didn’t die of illness or go mad. hmmmn where have I heard that before.

That said I do agree with her goal. I love it when I can take down a religious institution in a videogame.

At Garreg Mach her whole plan in to brute force it. Like if we just keep throwing enough lives at it we are bound to win. Admittedly I know nothing of military strategy, but that doesn’t sound like the best plan.

Interesting the differences between routes. In Edelgard’s church allied with feargus, while in Claude’s the Church lost significant power and Edelgard successfully incited a coup, but why did the Empire give up Garreg Mach as a strategic position? 

My baby deer are all grown up. And yup another mark in the Flayn is some immortal being, her sprite didn’t change at all. Totally in favor of stealing everyone from the other houses.

Who wore it better Part 1 or 2

Edelgard: 2. I mean p1 Edelgard was already best dressed but p2 takes it to a new level

Dimitri: 2. I mean p1′s hair is so goofy looking I just have to choose the edgelord

Claude: both. Claude looks fine so matter the time

Hubert: 2. He really did grow into the goth look

Petra: 1. Both are good but I love the huge braid

Lindhart: 1. p2 isn’t bad but I like the two layers look

Dorothea: 2. but both are good

Caspar: 2. Something about p1 always bothered me

Ferdinand: 2. His character model looks better than his sprite, and his hair is so luscious and flowing!

Bernadetta: 2. its just a mess is p1, v cute in p2

Dudue: 2. what is even going on in p1. where as p2 is like... elegant

Sylvain: 1. as much as I teased about him belonging in an otome game, his p2 haircut is just ugly

Ingrid: 1. mmmm its fluffy?

Felix: 1. What is his p2 hair even doing??? it makes me confused

Mercedes: 1. Fluffy.

Annette: 2. never was a fan of the hair loopies

Ashe: both. p1 is cute but p2 is beautiful. both are sooo good

Hilda: 2. p1 pigtails kinda boring

Raphael: 1. though p2 its a shaggy dog

Leonie: 1. another fluffy head, p2′s low pony tail does not give a flattering shape

Ignatz: 2. a bowl cut is an improvment from whatever p1 is

Lysithea: 2. not sue about the veil but it is more intersting than p1

Marianne: 1. I always did prefer thick bangs

Lorenz: 2. its definitely p2. in p1 he looks like such a clown

Cyril: 2. Honestly he kept the baby face so there’s not much difference.

Claude sees that under Rhea the church enforced a doctrine that locked in the status quo of nobles and crests and he wants to chage the church’s influence to promote tolerance, diversity, and open mindedness. but, hey. Hey. What if we got rid of the church all together.

Why can’t I recruit the old general... hey. Hey!

Aww Claude introduced me to his second mom and dad

So the more people you can recruit the less painful things are. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to kill Dimitri.

In terms of characters, Ferdinand has surprisingly grown on me. As for Caspar I shocks me occasionally how uncaring he is about killing people. He reminds me of a smt chaos hero with the whole might equals right thing. As long as he decides they are evil its ok to kill them. Now all he needs to do is get possessed by a demon. Eating away at him from the inside out. Ashe as always continues to be an absolute angel. I need somewhere to gush about how cool Claude looks in him final class promotion. So I rather like the group of childhood friends dimitri, felix, sylvain, ingrid. And it always trips me uo to remember that sylvain is like 2 years older than the rest because he really doesn't act like it. I'm getting that they are all traumatized from the death of felix's brother. A lot of the characters have had pretty bad childhoods.I was surprised to find out that Lysithea was tortured as a child like ok wow. I need to spend more time with you. Does Dimitri have PTSD? Golden Deer has had quite a few goofy hijinks. Marianne's character growth really has been a a thing of beauty, I’m so proud of her. But I love my oddball bunch of misfits. How did Dedue not get found out??? He’s very noticeable. and Claude, you’re starting to sound like Edelgard. I love Edelgard’s final promotion. Looks so cool. Like a mix or her Lord and Flame Emperor clothes. I wince every time some mentions the free market or the joys of capitalism. I guess adrestia is imperialism, faergus is religion, and leister is capitalism. I didn’t care about Dimriti’s death, but Edelgard’s got me.

damn ok so dubstep cyberpunk dungeon and Rhea took like 15 missile strikes. wow this really is very smt. maybe persona 2. And fighting zombie Nemesis and the 10 was excellent (Nemesis is still a stupid name). I love it when we fight literal embodiments of the past

its hilarious that in Shamir and Claude's paired ending,  he ends up ditching 3 whole times. He turns the opportunity to lead the unified fodland down, then he ditches house reigen, and then he abdicated the throne! I love it! That's so him. And they both wanted to travel the world.  Technically Claude is also a descendant of Loog so he also gave up claim to the Faerghus throne too. I swear. This dude. This dude...  Next its going to be revealed that secretly Claudr is Edelgard's cousin. Or one of her "dead" sibling. Lysithea tell us that blood experiment to force crests leads to physical and mental damage. Does this have anything to do with what happened to Edelgard’s siblings? As far as I can tell every ending has Fodland under a single party state. Crimson flower, azure moon, and verdant wind all end in monarchies, and silver snow a theocracy.

Hold up. Flayn said that Cethaleann never had any children as rational as to why she's not a descendant. But how did Lindhart get the crest then?? And I might be mixing up the 10 and the saints, but then I thought  the crests were designed as tools of war by those who slither in the dark. Thats how the 10 got them, to use as weapons against Sothis. But that then brings the question of why Rhea edited history in favor of them.  This is why the holy relics looked so ominous and creepy. The animations are eeeeeeeeuuuuuugggh. My initial though was that the church is secretly evil and this is foreshadowing. I mean rhea's kinda... viscous? Ruthless? Filled with barely contained hatred? I was thinking maybe she's secretly the evil dragon of the game the way Mila kinda was. 

But then you dont need consent to make a crest. Only blood. Blood could have been stolen from cihol and cethaleann to make their crests. Alternately they could have chosen to give crests to specific people.  The 2 sources of crests is also why there’s multiple weapons for some crests. The crest weapons made by the agartans all have a similar aesthetic, but not all the crest weapons have that aesthetic some look different and probably weren’t made by them. As for why Rhea rewrote the 10 into heroes. It might have been to stop people from questioning the crests and relics and seeking to replicate them. By framing it as sothis's doing, with the power of the church she can control crests, how people view them, and keep a closer eye on the descendants. Its its a gift by the goddess, of course we cant try to replicate them.

Let’s see what Claude achieved before he dipped. anti-discrimination laws (race, religion), and increased foreign relations. Potentially equal treatment under the law.

Edelgard really likes brute forcing solutions

The whole opera thing with Dorothea and Manuela stinks of the idol industry where an idol peaks at like 18. Real opera singers have much longer careers.

Golden Deer is so JRPG in the best way. There’s an evil cult of technologically advanced subterranean people, a zombie army, the power of friendship.

It already caught my attention when  missiles appeared and the evil cult's dungeon belonged is a scifi movie like ghost in the shell and I was thinking to myself "hmmm... this all sounds very smt of you" or maybe Persona 2. I mean with names like Shambala and the whole general aesthetic of that dungeon ... yeah. But then someone points out the UN’s symbol is all over the Agarthan stuff. And wow we really are in an smt timeline aren't we. and I remember seeing the missiles thinking hmmm that looks vaguely familiar. Its the UN symbol. Which means in alternate future Earth Sothis comes, we wage a war against the gods and and then Rhea destroys modern civilization along with the planet. that really does sound like the plot of an SMT game. I did wonder at the inclusion of electronica and dubstep into the soundtrack.

THC (Thinking Hard about Claude). Claude let's everyone know he's up to something, and his self portrayal as a schemer is both deliberate and truthful. He's using it part as social armor and part as an excuse to probe. Claude holds genuine cuiosity, wonder, and passion for the world. He is not always scheming so much as he is one of those people who's brain never turn off. He just wants to explore the world, meet different cultures, and discover all the secrets. Given the environment he grew up in, his natural inclinations angled him to thinking in terms of how to best leverage someone or how to sneak around.

Alright so here’s the lore as I know it. Sothis=Goddess came from another world to Fodlan. Through her blood made the goddess’ children (Nabateans) who are the original magical beasts and can talk, and they resided at Zanado. Rhea=Seiros=The Immaculate One, and the 4 Saints (Cihol=Seteth, Cethaleann=Flayn, Indech=The Indomitable, Macuil=The Wind Caller) are Nabateans. Sothis gave knowledge/interacted with the native humans of Fodlan (Agarthans). Eventually the Agarthans waged war against Sothis killing her and many Nabateans. The Agarthans used their bones to make weapons, their hearts to make crest stones, and their blood to make crests. The above is why magical beasts and demonic beasts are connected to crest stones. The crest stones as the hearts of Nabateans transform humans into a distorted version of their magical beast forms. The Sword of the Creator was made from materials taken from Sothis’ body. Using these weapons the humans attacked Zanado killing everyone except Seiros and the 4 Saints. The 10 Heroes Relics were similarly made from Nabatean bodies. Seiros, already obsessed with Sothis thought only of vengeance and bringing back Sothis. She raised an army, killed Nemesis, and drove the Agarthans underground to become Those who Slither in the Dark. Seiros then took control of the continent under the guise of The Church of Seiros. Seiros and the 4 Saints gave their blood to favored individuals granting them the power of their personal crest as well as potentially extending their lifespan/granting extended youth. This is why the 10 Heroes Relics have a visual aesthetic distinct from that of the weapons of the 4 Saints. The 10 Heroes Relics were made by the Agarthans but the other crest weapons like the other Gloucester crest weapon the Axe of Ukonvasara and the Saint’s weapons were not mad by them. The Church the acted as a tool for Seiros/Rhea to control the continent and its course. She then rewrote that part of history. The goddess was just sleeping, crests were a blessings of the goddess, etc. 

I am unsure as to why she did so, but I believe it served the 2 purposes. First it allowed Rhea to control the narrative and how people thought about the matter. Second it erases the existence of a rebellion against the Goddess. From the Church, Rhea could control the flow of information, censoring anything that threatened her power. Using the language of religion she could also justify using military force to eliminate her political opponents. 

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

“You rose to me ash blackened and new” for any of your ocs? (Also: Can i just briefly say that i love your writing a whole lot? It's just very fluid and elegant and I really enjoy reading it.) ❤

aaahhhh thank u so much!! i always see when u leave nice tags on my stuff it makes me smile so big! (also i misread the prompt and added a word to it but i’m sure no one will care right???)

Israfil paces warily around theedge of the room, keeping as close to the sleek black walls as he can managewithout touching anything. He had expected Hell to be fiery and cluttered andthoroughly unpleasant. He supposes the rest of it may very well be like thatfor all he knows, but this room looks like a fancy corporate office occupied bya very goth businessman. The desk at the center of the room looks to be pureobsidian, polished and shining beneath the stark white ceiling lights. Theblack chair accompanying the desk is plush with dark green accents and wheelson the bottom. Israfil never saw a wheeled chair during his time in Heaven. Hewonders if there’s any significance to that.

He’s in the middle ofsurreptitiously examining the ornately framed painting of a woman that hangsbehind the desk when the front door swings open with a whoosh of hot air.“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Lucifer says smoothly, strolling into the office. Heis dressed in a well tailored crimson suit and a wide brimmed hat, which he promptlytosses onto the desk. “How’s tricks?” he asks, pulling the wheeled chair backand taking a seat.

“Oh, you know,” Israfil says. “Beenbusy.”

“I can tell.” He reaches into oneof the many drawers in his desk, removing a small, silver box. “Cigarette?” heoffers.

“No. Thanks.” He clears his throat.“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I was sort of caught up with…something.”

“Israfil,” Lucifer says, taking acigarette out of the box and lighting it with the tip of his finger, “believeme, I know all about your exploits in humanity.” He gives Israfil aknowing look. “You should know by now that no one has any secrets from me.”

“Right. That’s true. Anyway—”

“It’s a shame what happened,” heinterrupts, wisps of smoke curling out of his mouth as he speaks. “But I guesshumans aren’t really made to last. Not like us.” He grins, looking for a momentlike his old, charming self. “We’re like the cockroaches of this whole wretcheduniverse.”

“Right,” he repeats, softer thistime. “Look, Lucifer—”

“You know, I remember when youfell,” he continues, gesturing for Israfil to sit in one of the green armchairsacross from the desk. “It was quite scandalous, really. God’s golden boygetting cast aside without warning.” He leans forward slightly, as if preparingto tell him a secret. “You know, my wife and I took bets on whether it wouldstart another uprising in Heaven. From what Michael told me, a lot of theangels were not happy with that little turn of events.”

Israfil didn’t know that Luciferand Michael still kept in touch. Though, he supposes it makes sense. After all,Michael was the only one who was ever really close with Lucifer. “You’remarried?” he asks.

Lucifer waves a hand at thepainting Israfil had been inspecting. It depicts a tall, dark skinned womanwith tumbling black curls and blood red lips. She sits cross legged upon agolden throne, a jackal lying peacefully at her feet. “Lilith,” he says fondly.“You might remember her from the garden?”

Israfil nods slowly, eyes fixed onthe painting. “Vaguely.” He remembers that Adam had a wife before Eve, and thatshe, too, had been dismissed from the garden. Apparently Lilith and Adam had a…difference of opinion regarding the woman’s place in a relationship. “Youmarried her?”

“How could I not?” He turnshis chair to face the portrait with a soft sigh. “I knew she was brilliant themoment I met her. And she’s got a body that just won’t quit.”

“Okay, anyway,” Israfil saysabruptly, feeling more than a little uncomfortable at the turn thisconversation is taking. “I was wondering—”

“I wanted to claim you right afteryou fell, but your grace hadn’t burned off yet,” Lucifer says, seemingly intenton telling this story whether Israfil likes it or not. “Besides, it was way toointeresting to watch you play house with the human, and I thought it mightthrow a wrench into my entertainment if I took you under my wing too early.” Hepauses, swiveling around in his chair once more and tapping a bit of ash offthe end of the cigarette onto the table. “I’ll admit, I was a bit disappointedwhen you didn’t come to call after I adopted you,” he murmurs, looking upthrough his eyelashes at Israfil. “Some demons less benevolent than I mighthave perceived that as a snub, you know.”

“Like I said, I was busy.”

“Of course. You were busy.” Hetakes a long tug on the cigarette, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling aboveIsrafil’s head. “One of my seers came to me with a vision. On the eve of yourfirst little scuffle with Raphael.” He blows a perfectly rounded smoke ring. “Sheprophesied that you were going to fall in combat.” He chuckles to himself. “Outsideof an IHOP, no less. If I hadn’t stepped in, that would’ve been super embarrassingfor you. And you have far too much potential to let you get taken out in aparking lot brawl, of all things.”

Ah. So that explains why he hadbeen claimed during that fight all those years ago. He had always had thesneaking suspicion that Lucifer knew something he didn’t—which, granted, wastrue most of the time—that led him to choose that moment to claimIsrafil as one of his own. It had always seemed a little too apropos to be a coincidence.“I appreciate your intervention,” he says curtly.

Lucifer nods slowly. “It really wasa beautiful sight,” he murmurs. “Watching as you rose to me like ash, blackenedand new, with the full force of Hell at your fingertips.” He exhales softly,his eyes fluttering closed. “I was proud to see you triumph like that, rebornwith my dark blessing.”

Israfil resists the urge to scoffat the utterance of ‘dark blessing’. Lucifer must think himself quite the poet.“It was a welcomed gift,” he admits. “Your patronage, I mean.”

“Hm.” He stubs out the cigarette onthe back of his hand. The flesh sizzles and blisters before returning to itsusual, eerily smooth texture. “And now you’re here.”

“Now I’m here.”

“I suppose you’re wondering whattask I’m going to ask you to perform,” he says casually, popping the cigarettebutt into his mouth and swallowing it. “To prove your loyalty to me, naturally.”

Israfil nods, relieved to befinally getting to the point of this whole meeting. “I don’t intend to residehere,” he says carefully, “but I’m willing to carry out my… duties, as the needarises.”

Lucifer smiles, lips pulling backto reveal a mouth of glossy white teeth. “Good,” he says. “Your service isinvaluable to me.” He runs his palm over his slick, dark hair, eyeing Israfil withgreat consideration. “You’re currently living in Oakland, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Good,” he repeats. “In downtownOakland there is a restaurant owned by a man who has a band that I don’t like.Have the restaurant shut down for me.”

Israfil blinks. “Is that all?”

“That’s all.” There is a devilishgleam in his eyes, but he offers no elaboration and Israfil doesn’t feel quitebold enough to ask, so he says nothing and simply nods his head in agreement. “There’sa good lad,” Lucifer says brightly. “Now, I have a very important meeting witha few of my generals, so I’m afraid I’ll have to send you on your way.” Hewaves his hand at the tall double doors at the other end of the office and theyswing open, revealing a broad shouldered, burly demon standing just beyondthem. “Halphas will show you out.”

The demon bows low at the mentionof her name.

“Right. Okay. Well, I’ll be… seeingyou, I guess.” Israfil gives an awkward half bow to Lucifer, feeling a bitstrange at having to bow to someone who was once his delinquent cousin, andshuffles out of the room. He has a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomachthat tells him he should’ve given more thought to the implications of Lucifer’srequest. He knows better than to believe that the order is as innocuous as itseems. But even the unforeseen consequences of shutting down a singlerestaurant are probably preferable to any of the things Lucifer might haveasked a demon he liked less.

Even so, as Israfil follows Halphasdown the wide halls of Hell, something in the back of his mind tells him heshouldn’t have been so quick to agree.

[chocolatecarstairs]

i just finished qoaad and i have a lot to say!

buckle up kids, this is gonna be a long and bumpy ride!

finished reading as of 4:37 am 12/6/2018

1. I AM SO PISSED AT JAIME! like beyond pissed. i get it dru technically lied to you. (a lie by omission. and not even a huge one at that.) but there was literally no need for you to essentially abandon her. especially after all that “she’s like a little sister to me” and “no matter what age she is we’re friends” bullshit. did you even mean any of that? or were you just saying it to get her brother off your back? honestly, she did so much for you. she hid you in london, brought cristina to you even though cristina could’ve told her brothers and gotten her in trouble, she risked quite a bit of her own personal safety and that of her family to sneak into the gard prison and bust not just you but also your brother and his friends out. but at the end of the day you can’t even be bothered to come and visit her every once in a while? drop in, say hi, ask her about how her life is going? obviously, she should’ve told you how old she was, but she seriously made up for it time and time again after you found out. you also seemed to want to be near her in idris when the battle was going on. you said goodbye to her before you went to fight, you protected her when she had to go out to the field, and you were going to go with her to save jules and emma before you saw that diego was hurt. what the hell changed in between that and the wedding? you’re being a fake friend and i don’t like it.

2. I AM SO PISSED AT KIT! admittedly less pissed than i am at jaime. but pissed nonetheless. i get that ty didn’t respond to you telling him you loved him. he probably didn’t realize you meant it the way you did. for god’s sake, he’s autistic, kit! and obviously, he should never have been trying to raise livvy from the dead, but you should have told him as much! you should have gone to jules or mark or helen or literally anyone instead of letting it go as far as it did. i mean did you really think trying to stop him in the middle of the spell was going to work? honestly, kit! not to mention you leaving! tessa and jem are amazing people. they’re going to love you and nurture you and you’ll get to be around their baby! i would be happy for you. IF YOU’D GONE WITH THEM BECAUSE YOU REALLY WANTED TO. all it would’ve taken was a conversation with ty. just one. you could’ve told him how you felt. if he didn’t feel the same way then, sure, you could’ve gone with tessa and jem. but it’s entirely possible that he would have. not to mention you at least owed him and dru and explanation or a goodbye. and, no, staring creepily at them from a distance at the wedding does not count as a goodbye! neither does making jem explain it for you. ty lost his twin. he was going through so much. he was obviously not himself. you were someone who was supposed to get him through that and instead you abandoned him without so much as a goodbye or a see you later. hmph. and poor drusilla. she wanted friends, kit, that was it. her oldest brothers were too busy trying to save the world and take care of her to have a true sibling relationship with her. her older sisters were either dead, or had literally just come back from five years in exile. her younger brother was too young and innocent to be any kind of true friend to her yet. and ty, the only sibling she has left that is close enough to her age to be her friend, wouldn’t let her in. she thought she’d found that in you! you taught her how to pick locks, you were teaching her how to con, you were beginning to think of her as a younger sister! and suddenly, when you can’t imagine having a relationship with ty anymore, all thoughts of the relationship you were forming with dru go out the window? god, kit. even if you were going to leave. even if you didn’t want to see ty. you could have seen dru. you could have told her you had to leave and said goodbye to her. told her that you were sorry. asked her to pass the message along to ty. making jem do it was weak, and you know it. i want to be happy for you, but you’re making it really freaking hard.

3. can we talk about the parabatai curse for a second? first things first, the heavenly fire! i’m honestly pretty surprised i was right about that one. i was so, so, so worried that the curse would actually turn them into angels. i did not want that to happen. i obviously had no clue that it would make them grow into giant, fiery, death machines, but alas. i think the whole true nephilim thing was kind of cool, actually. it���s also kind of crazy that the parabatai bond is so strong that when one of the parabatai turned into a true nephilim the other one followed. i honestly still can’t really believe it. i had a pretty hard time picturing emma and julian the size of skyscrapers crushing the cohort, but i found it kind of entertaining. i also almost cried when helen, ty, dru, and tavvy talked to them to bring them back. even cristina, kieran, and aline had things to say to them. it was a really touching scene. i’m also super proud of dru for being able to lead her family and convince them that they needed to help emma and julian. she’s grown so much since lady midnight (but more on that later). the fact that becoming true nephilim broke their parabatai bond is one of the easiest conclusions of any plot in shadowhunter history. especially one that was one of the main plots of a series. i’m so happy for jules and emma. i wish we could see more of them on their travel year. and i hope in twp they’ll be like jace and clary were in tda.

4. kieran kingson to kieran king of the unseelie court. honestly, i expected this one. i didn’t think cassie was going to give us a full-blown polyamorous relationship in all its day-to-day glory. kieran is going to make an amazing king. i’ve loved his character development over the course of the series. we watched him turn from a jealous member of the wild hunt, to a disgraced and begrudgingly helpful prince, to a remorseful and loving faerie, and finally, to a proud and kind king. i’m glad he can still be with cristina and mark in adaon’s cottage, but i almost wish it hadn’t ended this way. i feel bad that he can’t be happy in faerie and that mark and cristina will feel like something is missing whenever they are together without him in the mortal world. it’s bittersweet but more sweet than bitter.

5. i love julian blackthorn. i genuinely did not even know there were people out there who didn’t love him with their entire hearts and souls. i didn’t even know that there was so much controversy around him until i got into the tda tumblr fandom. i am almost never mad at him. almost. the whole ‘no feelings’ thing got old fast. i was pissed at magnus for performing the spell in the first place and i was mega-pissed at jules for requesting it and asking magnus to do it even once he’d heard of the consequences. i hated no feelings julian. it was so sad for me to see the julian i know and love, specifically because he cares so hard and so deeply, lose all his love and compassion. he literally turned into the julian antis like to picture him as. manipulating emma using sex and her desire/love for him was not cool. killing dane was not cool. not to mention, ty needed him. ty was totally broken after livvy’s death. he was holding himself together with some crazy plan to raise her from the dead. he needed julian to tell him he would be okay and to help piece his world back together. obviously, there were times julian literally couldn’t be there for him like when he was in faerie or thule. but when he got back he had a few opportunities to help his brother that he missed because of the stupid spell. this is the only time i’ve ever been genuinely mad at or disappointed in jules. it was painful.

6. let’s talk about thule. crazy to see sebastian’s vision for the world come to a reality. even crazier that he was in this series at all. thule proved that tessa is the strongest warlock of all time and that church is significant to the plot after all. cameron turns out to be a nice dude. diana is openly trans. raphael is alive and kind of funny and lovable (”vampires excel at ispy”). julian was temporarily free of the spell and the parabatai bond didn’t exist. i kind of loved thule. but there were sad and hard parts too. everyone is basically dead. people who haven’t sworn loyalty to sebastian are chased around and hunted by demons for fun. tessa gave her life to finally defeat sebastian. and poor thule!livvy. having to live in a world all by herself. helen is presumably and almost certainly dead. same with dru. julian and emma were endarkened and now they’re dead (nice to see that julian would literally kill himself, in this case thule!julian for his family, though). tavvy was taken and for sure killed by a demon. that same demon slit ty’s throat and thule!livvy held him as he died. she had to make the hard a terrible decision to let cameron, her boyfriend and probably one of the only people she had left, die trapped in the silent city forever. and she couldn’t go with jules and emma back to earth. as much as i knew it was going to happen, it was still terrible and heart-wrenching to see them seperated again. her letter to ty was one of the few moments in the book that made me cry. the fact that ty didn’t even bother much with it really bothered me. ”i love you. i love you. i love you.” it will forever break my heart and also be one of my favorite lines from the entire series. i really do hope that thule!livvy and ty somehow meet in twp. i need them both to get some closure more than i can say.

7. ty. my poor, beautiful ty. he had a really amazing facade throughout pretty much the entire book. i genuinely believed he was okay for a while. but when kit kept mentioning the bruises on his hands, i knew something was up. when dru went into his room and found it a complete mess, with books and clothes everywhere and furniture destroyed, my heart literally cracked in my chest. my baby ty did not deserve the pain he was feeling. i wish he’d gotten more help from kit, or dru, or helen. i wish julian hadn’t been such an idiot with that spell, so he could’ve been there for ty like he deserved. seeing him so distraught made me almost happy that he brought back livvy’s ghost.

8. i’m a little confused about the whole livvy’s ghost thing. the way i read it, ty ripped a hole in the fabric between the world of the living and the world of the dead. but i literally read the entire last 300 pages in like two hours, so i don’t think i totally absorbed everything. (i’ll go back through it all on the reread). basically, if that’s the case, wouldn’t livvy be able to come and go between the worlds as she pleased? what about other ghosts? this is almost definitely tying into the plot of twp. the same way the emma and jules deciding to become parabatai tied into tda. i wish that he hadn’t raised her ghost, because livvy really deserved to rest peacefully. i just hope he has some nice times with livvy’s ghost before he probably has to get rid of her. hopefully, dru can learn to see her too. (also can we talk about her ghost coming to jules during the livia’s watch meeting? broke my heart)

9. dru really grew up right before our eyes, didn’t she? she went from a sort of shy, timid little girl who wanted nothing more than to join the fight to a strong young woman who knew her worth and learned that fighting in battle isn’t always what makes you brave. she went on her own and broke the prisoners out of the gard. and when everyone was going to battle, she stayed behind with tavvy to keep him safe and comfort him.  when jaime was being an ass (still mad at him by the way) she didn’t make herself into someone she wasn’t to try to make him happy. i’m really proud of dru. i can’t wait for her to go to the new shadowhunter academy, make some new friends. kick jaime’s ass for being a dick, and more in the wicked powers.

10. diego becoming inquisitor was probably one of the things i least expected from queen, but i can’t say i’m mad about it. i honestly think its the perfect job for him. i’m happy to see he’s moved on from cristina and didn’t die like i thought he would. he’s really grown on me throughout the series. i went from not really liking him, to hating him, to pitying him, to loving and respecting him as a character. i can’t wait to see what he does as inquisitor and how he help’s move the new clave-in-exile forward. speaking of which, alec as consul. wow. i am so proud of my little baby. he really does deserve the world. he is going to do amazing things for the clave and bring them forward to be more a more caring, accepting, and diverse group of people. i’m so happy that he’s now in the position to make the changes he wants to see in the world. like downworlder-shadowhunter marriages. speaking of which, the malec wedding! i am so happy for the two of them! it is so incredibly cute that alec surpirsed magnus with a wedding ceremony. and that he was so nervous to propose (even though they were already basically married anyways). it was so beautiful. jace as alec’s suggenes. catarina as magnus’. the fireworks. ugh. goals right there. it was also so sweet that kieran came and the hot faerie threesome reunited. and that emma and julian got to be together for real, in public, happily. the whole thing about the blackthorn kids freaking out whenever they found them kissing in the institute hallways was the cutest thing. it made me all warm and fuzzy. i was kind of happy to see that livvy’s ghost was there with ty, but i just hope that she isn’t always there and that ty will eventually learn to live without her. kit staring at him from a distance was sad and creepy. and i’m lowkey pissed that jem and tessa weren’t at the wedding. wtf is that guys? so rude. otherwise super cute, super fun, super happy way to end the book. i approve. 10/10.

11. i can’t believe that alec offered mark and cristina positions on the downworlder-shadowhunter alliance. this is like a dream come true for cristina and i’m so happy for her. i also really hope it will help mark reconcile the differences he feels from other shadowhunters, including his own family, and hopefully, he will feel less torn between the worlds of faeries and mortals. i’m also glad mark and cristina will be staying together. when i heard cristina was going back to mexico, i was very disappointed. her travel year was nowhere near over and i’d hoped she would’ve stayed in los angeles or her and mark would’ve gone with emma and jules. i’m really glad that her and mark will at least be together and get to grow as a couple. it is bittersweet though because it means that the blackthorns are growing apart. jules and emma are going on a (well-deserved) travel year, mark is moving to new york, cristina is going with him. ty is heading to the sholomance, next time we see dru she’ll be at the academy in new york. they’re doing what a normal family does as it grows, and going their separate ways, but it's still so hard to watch it happen when part of what i love about them is that they’re such a tight-knit group. i’m just glad that they’ll all have the institute to return to whenever they want.

12. haline really tugged at my heartstrings this time around. i’ve gotta say, i was fully prepared to not totally like aline. she wasn’t much of an important or defining character to me in tmi and what i did see of her was just kind of eh to me. when cassie released that frittata snippet i was so ready not to like her. i have a major blind spot when it comes to my blackthorn babies, and if anyone even sort of messes with them i am 100% ready to rip their heads off. but i actually really loved aline. she was badass and sensitive and funny and independent and caring all at the same time. seeing her with helen was honestly so cute. their relationship was amazing. i’m so glad they had each other while they were on wrangel island and helped each other adjust to being back. ugh hope to see more of them in la soon. hope they have their baby and tavvy won’t be the baby of the family anymore. i hope they’re only happy for the rest of their lives.

13. i honestly wish the cohort had died. like i was lowkey cheering giant fiery jules and emma on as they slowly, brutally murdered them one by one. they’re awful, bigoted, terrible people and i can’t stand them. zara is one of the worst. i honestly wish emma had killed her. in front of the institute, in battle, i don’t care. i just wish she was dead. she actually deserved it. stabbing emma in the back was one of the lowest moves she ever could have pulled. and all because she was throwing a tantrum that the sword she stole from emma was taken back by emma. when cortana chose emma i was probably the happiest i could be reading the book. emma deserved it and cortana knew it. i do have to say i was in shock that the cohort threatened to kill themselves when alec was elected. and even more shocked that the entire clave left alicante and idris to the cohort. i am sad that the shadowhunters lost their beloved home country. i knew that the cohort was going to gain some kind of power and that they weren’t going anywhere, but this is something i did not expect at all. i have high hopes for the clave-in-exile. alec has already been so good and kind. he changed the laws to allow shadowhunters and downworlders to get married. he praised and accepted diana for being trans and strives to educate himself on transgender people and shadowhunters and what exactly being trans means. hopefully, this kind of open-mindedness and acceptance of others and their differences will stem into the whole of the neurodiverse shadowhunter community. people. like ty, who have autism, or adhd, or dyslexia, or depression and anxiety. the subtle mentions of these things without naming them throughout tda really showed how ignorant the clave is to these kinds of people. (speaking as someone who has add and was ignored for a long time) it isn’t an easy feat to know there is something wrong or different about you but not have anyone acknowledge it. hopefully, alec will learn about the mundane treatments and coping mechanisms for the many neurodivergent shadowhunters out there and allow them the tools thet need to suceed.

14. when annabel died i cheered. i know it seems awful, but the image of julian severing her spine and stabbing her through the heart made me warm and fuzzy inside. my baby avenged his baby livia. AND thule!livvy was there to watch. a truly beautiful moment. i do not feel bad for annabel in the slightest. at first, she was so tortured and sad that i felt for her. even, a little bit, after she killed livvy. i would think, well the cohort was what drove her over the edge or maybe she wouldn’t have done it if her mind wasn’t so destroyed from malcolm’s spells.  but no. she proved that she was lucid and sane enough to manipulate and lie and deceive time and time again. in the unseelie court and in thule. when jules finally got to take of the rag with livvy’s blood on it and throw it onto her dying body i did a little dance. annabel deserved the death she got. and livvy deserved someone to avenge her. but what happened to the black volume? at first, i thought it would stay in thule forever, but if thule!jace and ash could make it into the seelie courts, then it stands to reason that there is another portal open somewhere and that the black volume can be brought back to the seelie queen. i have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of the black volume and necromantic magic in twp. also, can we talk about the fact that the black volume is the dark artifices? it makes sense considering the fact that it has been a major part and plot point of the entire series, but i felt like it was a little underhyped. the seelie king was like oh the black volume aka the dark artifices and then we never talked about it again. i don’t know is that just me?

15. clary is alive! i, for one, genuinely thought she was going to die. the fact that her dreams of herself dying were visions of what was happening in thule seemed kind of cheap. like there was a ton of build up for absolutely no reason. then again, her dreams really were only mentioned, like, once in the series before qoaad and really not much in queen. we really just hyped it all up a lot as a fandom, so i guess we shouldn’t have expected more. but i am glad she is alive because that means her and jace are getting married! when jace said he wanted six or eight kids because of the blackthorns, i cried a little inside. so cute! cassie better give us the clace wedding and not just fast forward to twp where they will already be married and chasing around a while expecting another baby (i am speaking this into existence). speaking of weddings that we need to see in writing, sizzy! my babies are happy! i have shipped sizzy since day one, guys. day one. if i am robbed of a sizzy wedding i will riot and it will not be pretty. 

16. that epilogue though! i was not expecting it. i was confused for a littke while. in the back of my mind, i was wondering how ash would even tie into twp if he was in thule. now i know. thule!jace is crazy. i have a feeling there will be an epic showdown between him and normal jace which will be super interesting. i have a feeling thule!jace is a lot like what our jace was like when he was linked to sebastian. considering he basically has been for quite some time and apparently, there is no going back. hopefully someone kills the seelie queen in twp and someone better can take over the trone bc that bitch has been getting on my nerves since day one.

17. ty is going to the sholomance and i’m so happy for my little baby. the sholomance is going to have great teachers, like catarina and ragnor, and ty is going to learn so much. kit is with tessa and jem and, while i’m still super pissed at him and upset he isn;t with ty, i am so glad he’s going to have parents for once in his life. parents who are loving and kind and caring. and he’ll get to hang out with baby carstairs (hopefully a boy named will. i’m speaking that one into existence too.). dru is going to make new friends. tavvy is going to grow up. helen and aline are going to have a baby, so all our faves will be aunts/uncles. ugh, i cannot wait for the wicked powers you guys have no idea!

this is basically it! if you guys want to hear my opinions on anything else, or you have any questions for me about any part of the book my asks are always open! i seriously love when you guys send me asks, so please do!

[kagetsukai]

Drops of Satina: Day 20 - Naked Truth

Raphael Trevelyan belongs to @out-of-the-embers

Words: 1,079 || Read on AO3

This was supposed to have actual smut in it, but after struggling to get it written for the past two weeks, I decided it was not worth the struggle. So, I'm sorry for the fade-to-black, but that's how it has to be if I am to finish writing this challenge. Just know that Raphael and Hannah had a lovely and vigorous rest of the evening :P Lots of happy endings. You get the picture... >_>

-------------------------------------------------------

As Hannah stared at her own reflection in the mirror, she could not believe she was going to be this daring and leave her room wearing a dress that was low-cut enough to expose the tops of her breasts. Yes, she did appreciate the way the deep-red of the fabric complimented her dark hair, but the fact that the bodice pushed everything up and into view made things a little problematic. In her experience, men got a whole lot more daring the moment they saw extra skin.

Thankfully, Raphael was supposed to come and escort her to the tavern so she wouldn’t get accosted by random assholes on the way there - in his own words. Lily was leaving for Western Approach again and wanted to spend time with her Inner Circle while playing Wicked Grace. Hannah was flattered for getting invited, if only it meant spending more time with the man who always quickened her heart.

A sharp knock echoed through the room and Hannah felt her body freeze in panic. This was it, this was the moment and she needed to make sure everything went off without a hitch. With a last glance in the mirror to make sure her hair clips were holding up her hair just fine, she moved towards the door.

“Who is it?” she asked, knowing damn well who it would be.

“It’s Raphael,” came a swift reply and Hannah smiled.

When she unlatched and opened the door, Raphael was looking away, so she had the immense pleasure of watching him as he turned to face her and his expression changed from a casual grin to complete shock. His eyes trailed up and down her body a few times, before he remembered himself and glued his gaze to her face - Hannah noted with pleasure that a significant blush colored his cheeks.

“Hey there, handsome,” she said cheerfully. “Want to come inside for a moment? I’m almost done.”

Then she stepped back and left the door open, which in turn left him no other option but to follow inside.

“Are you sure--” he started, but then trailed off once he got a glance around the room. “Wow, this is quite the upgrade from your old quarters,” he said with appreciation.

Hannah smiled as she sat down on a chair to switch out her slippers for proper shoes.

“Isn’t it though?” she said happily. “These are supposed to be Wardell’s old quarters. I don’t need all this space, but Lily insisted I take it so I can start getting used to my new status. She also made sure to commission me a whole lot of extra clothing, which explains why I’m wearing what I’m wearing.”

Done with her shoes, Hannah stood up and realized the slight heel gave her one or two more inches in height, which made her stand a little straighter. When she glanced at Raphael, his heated brown eyes made her cheeks warm from the intense attention. He stepped closer, cupped her face in one of his hands and tenderly kissed her.

“You look gorgeous tonight,” he murmured and shifted away to look Hannah up and down again. “And I like how tall these shoes make you - I don’t have to bend as far to kiss you.”

Hannah chuckled.

“This works both ways, you know,” she pointed out with a smirk.

She grabbed the edges of his jacket and pulled him in for another, deeper kiss. Their mouths slanted, tongues tangled, and soon Hannah felt blood roaring in her ears as her body pressed against Raphael in a quest to be closer to him. It was with great disappointment when he pulled away once more, looking guilty.

“You make this really difficult for me, you know,” he quietly said with a small smile.

Hannah frowned. “I don’t understand,” she said.

He paused, as if gathering his thoughts.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” Raphael said sheepishly and his blush deepened. “It’s hard to keep my hands to myself.”

For the longest time, Hannah stared at him in silence, not truly believing her own ears.

Something snapped inside of her as she watched this infuriating man try to deny their physical attraction once again. She wanted to scream, to cry, to rage and rant, but in the end she knew there was only one thing she should say.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she growled and closed the gap, nose almost touching nose. “I’ve waited almost four months for you to take the next step, since you were the one to ask for it, but I think I’m done now. I had to watch you be carried away to the infirmary, all broken and delirious with fever, which made me realize I wasn’t ready to let you go. It clarified a lot of things in my mind, too,” Hannah said and took a long steadying breath. “I kindly request you stop keeping your hands to yourself, because not having your skin on mine feels like dying.”

Any other time it would have been funny to watch Raphael gape at her; instead, Hannah felt her body tremble. Yes, it was about sex and the carnal pleasures they could be experiencing together, but it was also about feeling closer to him, always closer. Something special burned in her heart, hot and bright, and not knowing if he shared that feeling made her die a little every time they kissed.

Once the initial shock of her words wore off, Raphael’s face softened into an affectionate smile. He was so beautiful it physically hurt to look at him sometimes

“I’ve been an idiot, it seems,” he concluded. “I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”

There was barely any room left between them and Hannah felt herself buzz with the need to touch and be touched by this man. She smiled mischievously.

“Well,” she said. “I have a few ideas on how you can ask for that forgiveness.”

Slow hands snuck around her waist and settled at the small of her back with warmth and comfort she always melted into. Raphael’s grin was lopsided and made Hannah’s heart stutter.

“Does it involve me being on my knees?” he asked quietly.

His voice seemed to have dropped in tone, because it sounded like gravel and it did interesting things to Hannah’s lady parts. They weren’t kissing, but only just.

“Only if you want to,” she said softly.

“Oh, I do,” Raphael told her and closed the gap between their lips.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls -- Review

It's that time of the year again where I put myself through the torture of enduring this show. Watching this show is like going on an endurance run. You drag your feet when you first start, when you get acclimated to the level of exercise, you think "hey, this isn't too bad" and then by the end, it's just pain...but also a sense of pride that you made it through. That's been my experience with the show, anyway. And it's basically how I felt about Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

We are at last embarking upon the final episodes of this show and if this episode is what's going to set the tone for the remaining episodes, then I'm glad it's the final episodes because...well, this episode wasn't great and is a perfect example of what I won't miss about Shadowhunters. Bland and cringey dialogue, more characters than it knows what to do with, and too much jumping across plot points. There are individual moments in the episode I enjoyed but overall, this isn't an episode I loved.

The Loss of the Mary Sue

I'm not entirely certain of the timeline in this episode. The episode never specifies on exactly how many days have passed since the 3A finale but I'm going to estimate about a week or so. Everyone believes Clary died in the explosion caused by Lillith attacking Simon.

The episode opens with Jace, Izzy, and Alec chasing after a downworlder and Jace makes some very shoddy decisions in this fight that lets you see just how reckless he's become in the wake of Clary's "death". We then get a montage of everyone missing Clary and the more significant one is Jace, that's the one they spent the most amount of time on. He's basically walking through Clary's room remembering all the times he spent with Clary...so basically three memories. Another classic example of what I've always been talking about when it comes to the adaptation changes. Clary and Jace have barely spent any amount of time together, even less actually dating and I'm supposed to believe that they're each other's one true love...not going to happen because the show didn't develop it at all. There's a moment in the montage where Jace starts looking at Clary's drawings and getting really emotional about it and I felt nothing because Jace has never been shown to take any sort of interest in Clary's artwork before. In fact, if it weren't for that one scene in 3A, I wouldn't even have known that Clary was still drawing. By the show deviating from the books in the way they did, Clace had less development but yet the show still wants to continue the aspect of Clace being hopelessly in love from the books. You can't make a significant change from the source material and then pages down the line expect to pick up exactly where you left off. By making the change, you changed the entire context of the relationship so now the entire story has to change in order to fit that new narrative. Sadly, the Shadowhunters writers have not figured that out yet and continue to make that same mistake...or they're lazy, it could be that, too. Jace eventually gets so depressed that it's implied that he's contemplating suicide but Izzy is able to talk to him and get him to think. And then she just leaves him after making him promise he won’t go through with it. If anyone's wondering, if you catch someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Particularly in a dark room. Being in a dark enclosed space is not the kind of place that typically sends out positive energy. But I suppose I can cut Izzy a little bit of a break. It's entirely possible the Shadowhunter world doesn't really understand how to help someone who's experiencing suicidal thoughts. They certainly didn’t help out Jace’s mother. Alec also confronts Jace about this in probably the only believable scene in this entire episode. Seriously, I've never been a Jalec shipper but I totally understand why people ship them. Matt and Dom are probably the only actors who actually have any chemistry with each other. But Alec tells Jace he's doing the memory of Clary a disservice and that if Jace were to die, it would destroy him as well. In other words, Jace isn't the only one who's going to be affected by this decision. Jace eventually is called by Luke who for some reason appears to be living in a motel room. I don't know why but whatever. Luke doesn't believe Clary is actually dead and he tries to convince Jace through some really weird conspiracy theory that probably even flat-earthers would find difficult to believe. But hey, if it leads to them finding Clary, I'll go with it. And I understand why Luke is unable to accept even the possibility that Clary might be gone for good. He can't think that about someone who he basically views as his daughter and the last connection he has to Jocelyn. Luke gives the evidence to Jace and tells Jace to at least check it out.

Simon, understandably, is also having a difficult time with all this. And Maia returns to give him emotional support despite leaving for a very particular and totally understandable reason but Simon needs her so of course she comes back for him. It's not like Maia exists for anything else but for Simon's character arc. Both Simon and Izzy kind of passive-aggressively shame Maia about leaving. And I'm particualrly disappointed in Izzy telling Maia about what happened to Simon's family as that's a very deeply personal issue and Simon should've been the one to tell her. It wasn't Izzy's secret to tell. I get that they were trying to use that scene to exposit information to the audience but there were better ways of doing that. Hell, it could've just been Izzy making an off-handed comment about Simon. Maia could've been talking to Izzy about how badly Simon is doing with the Clary situation and Izzy could've been all, "especially with what happened with his family" and Maia could've been shocked and Izzy could've been flabbergasted because she didn't know Maia didn't know. That would've been a much better way for the situation to be handled. But I'm not too pleased with Izzy saying in response to Maia not knowing, "well how could you? you weren't around." Just the insinuation that Maia should stay around and support her man and not go off and get in the right head space to properly heal herself after dealing with the re-emergence of her abuser. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from Izzy seeing as she, herself, also only exists to give support the other characters. I think these passive aggressive intonations of shaming Maia are really horrible and shame on the writer. Maia, Izzy, and Simon decide to work together to find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain from Simon's forehead. They talk to Raphael who now works at a soup kitchen in Detroit and Raphael tells them the tale of some dude chilling in the sewers of NYC who could possibly be the oldest vampire alive and may have answers to the removal of the Mark of Cain. Maia decides not to help Simon on this as its a bad idea for a werewolf and a vampire to meet and I almost forgot that was a thing, the show so rarely does anything with the vampire vs werewolf dynamic. But of course Maia has to back off to give room for Sizzy. I’m really not a big fan of Sizzy being explored here as everything that made Sizzy fun and interesting in the books has been completely stripped from the show. I’d much prefer Saia on the show. But really, I just want Maia and Izzy to have their own character arc, though that doesn’t revolve around shipping. 

The Malec B-Plot

We have a Malec B-plot that I found just completely unnecessary wherein Iris returns and kidnaps Magnus because she wants to get Madzie back. She falls for the most obvious trap in the world and hopefully we never see Iris again. What it does for Magnus's story works I guess but I just found it to be a really obtrusive subplot that didn’t fit at all with the episode. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I've been away from the show for a year so I can see the the show a little more clearly now but the Malec chemistry is no longer working for me. Maybe it's just that I've always paid more attention to how alarmingly unequal their relationship is but I'm looking at the body language they're giving off and its not the kind of body language you would expect from lovers. They're so stiff around each other and not relaxed at all.

In fact, there's a line in this episode where Malec has just put Madzie to bed as they're baby-sitting her and Alec kisses Magnus and Magnus tells him to stop because they have a child in the apartment currently. Alec kind of scoffs because it's just a kiss and Magnus is all, "You know how we get." And I'm like, "Do we really, though?" There's plenty of scenes of them talking and I can buy them as friends with that but lovers? I’m having a difficult time actually buying that now. Like I said before, the Jalec scene was way more believable than any Malec scene in this episode.

But Magnus decides he doesn't want to feel helpess ever again so he decides he needs to learn how to fight. Honestly, I was surprised to learn that this is implying he doesn't even seem to really have any basic self-defense capabilities. The way he was swinging the sword earlier in this episode lead to me to believe otherwise. Plus, Harry Shum Jr is a pretty buff dude but I guess maybe Magnus lifts weights and that’s it. Alec decides to help him out on this venture, though.

Siblings Reunited

We find out that Clary is indeed not dead and that Jonathon's back. I'll be real, here. It's kind of hard to feel sad for Jace or Simon or Luke or anyone really regarding the "death" of Clary, considering this entire episode is interspliced with moments of Clary being very much alive. Honestly, I think this episode would've functioned better if it was just about showing everyone going through all the different stages of grief regarding Clary and at the end of the episode when they've hit the acceptance stage, that's when we see Clary wake up in the apartment with Jonathon. But whatever. The show decided not to go that route so we have to make do with what we got. Clary wakes up and looking pretty damn fantastic for someone who's been asleep for days. Not a strand of hair out of place, make-up is flawless, and not a wrinkle to be found on her clothing. In fact, I think they're in even better condition than they were when Clary initially had to put them on. Clary also isn't even the slightest bit groggy, she knows exactly where she's at and everything. Clary does comas well. Jonathon tells Clary that it is indeed him, her big brother and that before Lillith was sent to hell she sent them away to Siberia, apparently. Clary plays nice for a little bit with Jonathon but decides to chance out in the cold of Siberia. It's nice to see that in her state of unconsciousness her muscles didn't atrophy from lack of movement or deteriorate from lack of food. But Clary fails in her escape, Jonathon finds her and brings her back. Clary tries to stab him with a knife but they both find out that what happens to one person will also happen to the other. So yeah, we're full in City of Lost Souls plot here which is ironically the title of this episode. Shadowhunters has never been all that subtle. This new actor for Jonathon is going to take some getting used to. Will Tudor did a phenomenal job with him so its difficult to see this new guy as Jonathon. But it also is difficult to take Clary's anger and hatred of Jonathon seriously when you think about all that Jonathon's really done on the show is kill a shadowhunter Clary had never met before and then injured Max and Max swiftly recovered. Clary is all about painting him as the worst possible being and indeed, in the books, he is but here, while he may be a bad guy who's done really bad things, I don't know if its deserving of that level of hatred. We haven't exactly seen a lot of his horrifying dastardly deeds. Another example of making a change and then thinking you can still keep the same storyline at a later point in the story. I'm certainly not saying I wanted Max to die but story-telling wise, it would make the emotions Clary's feeling here a little more believable. But I'm actually really interested to see where this whole Jonathon and Clary plot goes. In the books, it's Jace that's put in this situation so it'll be interestig to see how the show tackles Clary being in this situation. I'm also wondering, because they seem to be trying to stay away from the incest vibes here, is Jonathon going to gain an unhealthy obsession with Jace instead of Clary? In the books, Clary was who Jonathon was creepily obsessed with. He was equating possession with love and viewed that Clary belonged to him in every way imaginable. So since the roles of Clary and Jace have been reversed here, will Jonathon's obsession now change from Clary to Jace? Probably not but it would've been interesting to see for sure. I mean, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way, right?

The Clave Acting Shady AF

The Clave is being super shady right now. They appear to be doing experiments on the incarcerated downworlders and all I can say is, "do we really need this?" And also, "Why is it being implied that Jia knows about this and is okay with this?" The interesting thing about Jia in the books was the fact that she was the first step in the leadership to help get rid of the more corrupt aspects of the Clave and instigating change. But I suppose it's per the norm for the show to make everyone but the main group a bad guy instead of morally grey. As I've said before, this show has no concept of subtlety. I can only imagine that this is leading into the part in City of Glass the show hasn't done yet wherein the alliance rune is going to be introduced but instead of using it to fight Valentine, they're going to use it to fight Jonathon. That's what these downworlder experiments seem to be leading into as it reminds me a lot of Valentine experimenting in the books. I'm sure there was 0 social commentary intended when writing this into the show, though...but I think its safe to say it's totally social commentary. The show isn't very subtle, once again.

But good news is it looks like Ollie is gone for good so yay! I am side-eying the show, though about that. What was the point of introducing her if you weren't going to do anything with her? I'd say they probably wasted about half of 3A with Ollie unnecessarily. But maybe if this show hadn't been cancelled, Ollie would've played a more significant role? Well anyway, at least some of the fat has been trimmed.

My biggest issue, as always, is the dialogue. The dialogue felt extremely one-note. It was almost like the writer made a flow chart of what they wanted to happen in this episode and was like, "crap! I guess my characters do need to speak, here's some lines to explain what's going on." The dialogue basically existed solely for the purpose of giving exposition but the real kicker is that it was really unnecessary. I could've had this episode on silent (and that might've even have made it an improvement) and I would've understood what was happening perfectly. The dialogue really didn't add anything to the experience, it just made the episode feel more awkward than it already was. And then there continues the trend of Shadowhunters treating their awesome plans as if they’re the most clever plans in the world when in actuality, the plan is beyond obvious and it was super cringey and awkward seeing Izzy being treated as this amazing strategist for making the obvious move. And the episode was already plenty awkward with the constant cutting. It's really difficult to enjoy any particular subplot going on in this show when we only spend maybe 30 seconds to a minute on any particular moment. I kind of wish this show structured their episodes more around themes as opposed to plot. Plot is temporary, plot is always changing but exploring themes through plot gives you more of an appreciation not only for the characters but the story, itself. While I didn't mind sequences in this episode, at the end of the day, it just kind of left me feeling empty. I also think the acting felt a little stilted as well. I wasn't a big fan of any of the performances given in this episode and whereas I've never thought anyone on this show was oscar-worthy for their performances in the past on this show, their performances have always been maybe a C+ to a B. But in this episode, it just didn't feel like any of the actors' hearts were in it. Now granted, that could be a side effect of the script because, as I've mentioned before, the script wasn't great. Or it could've been the directing. There's a lot of reasons for why acting can feel stilted and it very rarely has to do with the actor or actress being bad at acting.

I've made notes about how the dialogue and acting was stilted but those weren't the only things that were. The fight choreography and the blocking felt a little off as well. For starters, the fight choreography did not feel organic. It was strangely reminiscent of season 1 fight choreography. The constant jump cuts so you don't see too much of what's actually happening and just feeling like fight scenes move very slowly. Like the reaction times between sword swing to parry were very slow and it kept on taking me out of the moment. Then you also had moments where Alec and Izzy catch up with Jace in the sewer and everyone's staring at the seelie they're trying to capture for a good 5 seconds before the actual fight continues. And then there's just strange blocking choices where a character walks to a point in the room and then delivers their line but the walk to the new mark wasn’t organic and actually made the line feel more awkward.

I'd probably give this episode a C+. It was passable, with enjoyable moments but ultimately not something I have any desire to return to. There were cute moments (primarily Jalec and Madzie), but overall as an episode, not something to be too terribly impressed with. And yes, there were moments I did like. It’s not my fault the show just had more bad parts I felt compelled to talk about.