#really resonant with how I've heard people describe the experience

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

whats your opinion on asuka r kreutz

Buddy. Oh man. Either you know me and went on anon to enable me (in which case, thank you) or you're newer here and haven't seen me cry about Guilty Gear's saddest wettest cat yet.

I fucking adore Asuka R Kreutz. I think he's one of the most tragic and complex characters in Guilty Gear. I was gonna put "Well-written" too buuuut... it's hard to track down clear answers for some of the stuff that covers his time with Freddy and Aria as scientists and so I generally extrapolate what feasibly happened to the best of my ability based on what we have. (I am by no means a full-on expert, but I know enough to tell you this man does not deserve all the flack he gets).

In general, I find Asuka to be an immensely tragic and complicated man who at his core, just didn't want things to change and didn't want to lose his only and most dear friends in the whole world. Every single thing he has ever done was fueled by one of two things - his curiosity (which you can consider a flaw, as it often by his own account causes him to neglect right and wrong) or his deep love for Frederick and Aria (I find this to be his driving force for most of his actions in the story of Guilty Gear, right up until shit becomes so absolutely fucked that he has to spend most of his time trying to fix everything that goes wrong and banking on Sol to come through for him as a warrior). Asuka is the embodiment of the phrase "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and that's probably why in lore he's labelled as "The Devil" in addition to "The Gearmaker."

When Aria gets sick, he suggests putting her in cryosleep until they can cure her disease. She refuses because she doesn't want to miss out on her time with Frederick. "Ok," he says, "well I can do something about that so please agree." And she agrees. And Asuka makes Sol a Gear and fucking immortal without telling him. Then all that crazy bullshit that kickstarts the crusades happens and Sol has to kill Aria because Asuka made her into Justice. This part is fucked up. It's a major fuckup on Asuka's part. In a drama CD, it's highlighted how important Aria's humanity and personhood is to her, and Asuka takes that away when he turns her into Justice. "What's the justification then?"

When Asuka found out that the government was going use their research to create gears as weapons and use them for war, he did EVERYTHING he could to try and stop that. Asuka isn't stupid - he's smart. He's a scientific genius. He could've easily taken the sleeping Frederick and Aria and fucked off, but he wanted to right a wrong. And it just... didn't work. He turned Aria into Justice, and though I think he probably intended to turn her back (after all, we see him demonstrate the ability to undo what he did to Sol at the end of strive) he never got the chance. Because the Universal Will overloads her and Justice just starts the Crusades.

In Overture's story, Asuka makes it clear to Sol that he needs him to be a warrior in order to be prepared for more horrors to come. Asuka realizes after the crusades that he can't fix it alone - everything he's done to solve a problem has so far ended up with him making things worse. Sol hates him. He knows Sol hates him. You know what's fucked up though?

He wants Sol to hate him. He feels like he deserves it.

I feel the need to point out that the crusades last over a century - Sol is immortal because of the gear cells and flame of corruption, but Asuka was just a normal guy - why/how is he here? Asuka created a synthetic body for himself that would not age, and transferred his consciousness into it so that he would not change. So that no matter what, Sol would recognize him. Knowing Sol wouldn't forgive him, knowing that he would always be able to find him, he didn't care - he never ever wanted to lose Sol.

Asuka clearly cares about people. He realizes the consequences of his actions, and he's clearly capable of feeling guilt over them. Look at what he does while working with I-No and Raven: He builds the Jack-O unit in the hopes that he can bring Aria back. He builds the Happy Chaos unit in the hope that he can help I-No regain her full self without going insane. He's Raven's only friend, a man who has been cast aside countless times and used for his powers. Those aren't the actions of a selfish or wholly callous man. If he was callous, he wouldn't try so hard to make SURE he could never escape Sol's anger by making himself permanently recognizable.

"Well maybe he just selfishly didn't want to let go of Sol." This is a legitimately fair point. However, let's recall what happens in the strive story: Asuka offers Frederick a choice between letting him remove the gear cells and flame of corruption from him, or letting Sol kill him.

I need you to look me in the eyes when I tell you I can't handle this part. I can't. Well over a century of fuckups and shit going wrong while Asuka desperately tries to make a million things right that weren't even entirely his fault to begin with - he didn't want to make Gears as weapons, hell he didn't even want to be a scientist! He laments about not having any control over his life and certain decisions. In all of that though, he fucking loves his friends Frederick and Aria. Now one of them's dead because of him, and the other one hates him, and after over 100 years of planning and thinking and work-

Asuka R Kruetz has no idea how to look Frederick Bulsara in the eye and tell him he's sorry. He only knows how to fix it, and also how to offer Sol a chance to feel better about it - I think he truly believes that after everything, if Sol killing him will make Sol feel better, that that's what he should let happen. I'm so fucking ill. Asuka thinks the fucking WORLD of Frederick - listen to this bit of his Strive theme, "The Gravity:"

"As the universe turned black / did the sun ever defy fate? / beyond it all do you recognize me?"

In case you aren't familiar with how Sol Badguy got his name, the government gave him the codename "Badguy" while he was running around wrecking gear compounds. "Sol" is a name given to him by Slayer, because he "shone brightly like the sun."

Now look at that snippet from Asuka's theme again - that line about the sun defying fate? That's about Sol. That's about how much he loves and values Sol, someones he repsect and looks up to, and the only person he had left to count on to fix the world that he feels like he fucked up.

As we know, Sol chooses to let Asuka just un-gear him, but after that Asuka just... leaves. He goes to the moon with the tome of origin to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. Do you know how fucking badly it fucks me up, that after everything, Asuka just ends up alone? He spent over a century trying to fix the world, nothing he did worked, and when it finally did everything was different. Everything. Aria is gone, Frederick is happier but not in his life anymore, and Asuka is alone. Everything he ever did started with his love for Frederick and Aria, and at the end of it all he's alone. And he feels guilty.

His Strive arcade Story rips me to fucking pieces - Asuka clones himself and when he does, the clone Asuka R # mentions specifically that Asuka made him "Chattier." He mentions that Asuka "Doesn't like himself." I read that as Asuka making an idealized version of himself - a self that wouldn't fuck up, a self that wouldn't be hated, but also

A self that would carry on his work.

This is where it gets heavy, but I personally believe Asuka intended to kill himself initially. He has no idea how to say sorry to Frederick, no idea how to atone, and no idea how to exist in a world that so far, he feels he has only ever fucked up in. Another snippet from his theme: "does existence have meaning? / the reality or the truth, the reality of the truth / what fact should we accept? / The reality or the truth? reality" He's trying to figure out if he can still live, if even if he wants to live, does he even deserve to? Have the right to? How can he atone?

The clone states, though it dances around it, that it's worried for Asuka - worried that he's hoping he'll lose the fight, hoping he'll die. But two of the possible outcomes (as strive arcade mode dialogue tends vary based on performance) are listed below:

In both of these conversations, the clone cites a desire to exist - which to the clone, since it is also Asuka in way, means that the original Asuka wants to exist too - and therefore that he can, and is trying to figure out how to.

I think Asuka, like a lot of Gear characters, is about trying to find a place in the world - even if the whole world feels like it's not built for you. All Asuka has ever done is tried - and failed. But he's still here. He DID manage to unfuck everything, and he did it because he DID still have Sol. Another bit of insight his clone dumps on him:

that bit there: "I know you can't affirm yourself. But at least tell me you’ll keep walking. Even if you lose your way. As long as one person out there cares about you… It’s worth it just to try to keep them happy." This is a common theme in Gear: relationships, both romantic and platonic, saving people; connections to others giving people a reason to go on or to see a new perspective that makes life worth living. Jack-O found Sol, who treated her like her own person and made her realize she was more than just a replacement for Aria. Dizzy found Ky and vice versa, changing Ky's perspective on Gears and having Dizzy realize she could be happy even in a world that treated her like a monster. Here on the moon, creating Asuka R# to talk to, Asuka is trying his very best to see and understand the world through Frederick's eyes - a world that Frederick saw as worth fighting for:

Asuka is a character who hasn't found his way yet, but all that matters is that he keeps looking.

Uh so to answer your question, I love Asuka R Kreutz - maybe you can tell by the fact that I dumped an absolute trainwreck mess on you after one small ask. Sorry! I apologize about this being a little all over the place and not having as much cohesion as I would've liked but this character is very dense and complicated and I did this kinda quickly so I had to sort through a bunch of weird feelings as I typed - I hope you found at least some of it interesting.

Thank you for the ask!

Ah, and a big fat huuuuuuuuge thank you to the stellar and amazing new Gear wiki, which is where I pulled those screenshots of his arcade mode script from! It's really a wonder how fast the wiki was put together and just what a fantastic resource it is for stuff like this; it saved me having to watch a video or, god forbid, try and do Asuka's arcade mode myself. Below is a link to the wiki page I pulled Asuka's stuff from - please check it out cause I didn't even come close to covering the full depth of what's talked about in his Arcade mode story and also because the wiki is glorious and deserves love:

[lostinvasileios]

Hi! I’m sorry if my question seems to be silly, but I really was wondering.

Have you ever saw and/or heard you deities? How do you do that? I’ve never experienced something like that, but I see people sharing this sort of experience. Like… they can describe appearance, voice etc of their deities. How? I fully rely on my gut in my journey, but I do wish to see, hear and know my deities in face. So, if my question doesn’t bother you, could you share your experience and tips, please?

Thank you!

Hello there, lovely!! Your question isn't silly at all, don't worry. Thanks for asking. 🤍🌼

I indeed have! I've seen/felt and heard my deities before. And, the process to be able to do this is different for everyone.

But, for me, it took countless hours of meditation with them, I was spending so much time focusing on my already existing abilities. Like my active imagination, my sense of visualization that came from that, and so on and so forth which would eventually allow me to begin to see my beloved deities. Being able to recognize their energy soon led me to being able to comprehend their voices and feel their touches. Then that got me into the process of being able to see them.

Gut feelings are actually one of the ways you can get to learn your deities appearance as well. You could try and picture them from whatever comes to mind. A pop culture artwork of them, maybe a livened version of their statue, someone pretty on Pinterest with a few extra features, ect. Deity appearances are very fluid, and can change depending on any factor, so there's no pressure on finding out what they "exactly" look like. Because, they have no exact look. Just take whatever feels best for you. That's what it will come down to most of the time, anyway. What resonates. Like always, lol.

Actually, for about 6 months of being able to see them at first, I couldn't register their voices outside of when they would speak. If that makes sense, lol. Like, I'd understand it when they'd talk to me, but when they weren't speaking, I couldn't recall their voice, just what they had said. Sometimes, their appearance will do the same. You'll see it in the moment, you'll feel or hear them in the moment, then whenever that interaction/meditation ends - so does the...sensation? of them. You know?

For some part of my time with Apollon at first, I'd simply spend my time scrolling through Pinterest for pictures that reminded me of him. I kept them in a sort of e-altar board for him so I could go back and refresh my mind if I was having trouble seeing him in my imagination. Since, sometimes, it helps to simply - daydream of their appearances. At least for me. Getting more used to their eye colors, their body languages, imagine them speaking to you every now and then to try and have their voice be easier to comprehend, stuff like that.

Don't rush it, I can almost guarantee that you'll see and sense your deities in these ways eventually. However, they know what's best in the end. Seeing deities, feeling them, hearing them, ect - can be quite the energy drainer because of how high frequency they are and whatnot. Even if they lower themselves to some extreme degrees to be able to show themselves to us in these ways. So, if you aren't experiencing it just yet, that's probably because you aren't ready for it. Comprehending deities is a difficult task for anyone at first, and can be a persistent struggle even over months. And that's perfectly fine. Because these are celestial beings of the stars and all that other universe-y stuff, we as humans are conditioned not to believe these astral realm things because of how unlimited it all is. Of how... Ironically unbelievable the experience is.

So, even when you're sensing them, your brain will be like "mm...no" most of the time when you're first getting the hang of it. Out of the want to protect you and whatnot.

Deities will 9/10 times try their darndest to help you comprehend them by coming in appearances of like... TV characters, like I've heard some people see Loki as the Loki from the marvel series. Or, how you see book characters. There's been a few times where Aphroditus has appeared to me as a fanart of Lucien from ACOTAR that I loved and made the way I see him whenever he's present in the book. Their voices just the same. They might sound like a singer you very much enjoy, or like a comfort character of yours. I could go on, but I think you get the point, haha.

I saw Apollon as the Apollo from Blood of Zeus without ever having watched or have had heard of it, I only noticed he was taking that form after I looked up his name on Pinterest, and I just went with it. Same with Dionysus. Point is, let them show themselves to you however your brain allows them. I put so much tremendous pressure on myself to perfectly memorize how my higher self looked or how my deities looked, just to be reminded how their forms are infinite. How - they don't want you to stress over that.

They don't want you to feel less because you cannot experience them in the way another devotee can, because that's them, this is you. And they love you. And they'll meet you where you're at to help you progress and grow.

My motto for this? It'll happen when it happens, and when it does - I know they'll be refreshingly, ravishingly beautiful.

I never liked surprises, but, hey. When your deity pops out with a new look entirely and it takes the breath out of you to see it - you get more accustomed to it over time, haha.

Sorry if I dragged this on, I love questions like these lol. I hope it helped!! Blessed be. 💛🤍💛

[cbk1000]

How would you describe the relationship between kudos/comments and fanfic quality on Ao3? In my experience so far, there is hardly any correlation! I imagine this must be very frustrating as an excellent writer.

There is no relationship. Fanfiction is the same as traditional publishing in that respect: books take off if they've scratched a particular itch for the current market, regardless of quality. Fandom isn't any different. Something might be both well-written and popular, but whether or not it's well-written is coincidental; it isn't popular because it's well-written, but because it's supplied the right thing at the right time for a particular community's readership. There's also an element of pure dumb luck: I've seen fics that I expected to take off that really didn't despite the fact that they featured popular tropes and ships executed in a way that I anticipated would resonate with fandom, and didn't (at least on a large scale level) for no discernible reason, while similar fics blew up.

On a personal note, I've had those screaming into the void moments, and they are disheartening, because making fanworks, be they fic, art, or gifs, is an attempt to participate in a community, and no or very little response feels like a rejection from people with whom you have tried to share something you mutually love.

That being said, I don't expect a certain number of kudos or comments, and I don't compare myself to more popular writers, firstly because it's usually not a fair comparison, i.e. we're writing in completely different styles, on completely different topics; it would be like comparing novels from two totally different genres and lamenting that one didn't sell as many copies as the other. And secondly because, frankly, I almost never like what's popular in any given fandom I've ever participated in, and so I write what I want to read, because there's often nothing, or very little, that scratches my particular itch. So I am limiting my potential audience right from the very beginning, which means I have to go into it with appropriate expectations. And honestly, I have done a lot better than I would expect in terms of feedback, because I would consider myself pretty middle-of-the-road in terms of popularity, and I'm surprised I'm not that super obscure writer one whole person has heard about.

At the end of the day, no one should be basing their self-worth or their perception of their abilities on the amount of comments or kudos they have. Low kudos/comments are not a condemnation of your skills, and are a reflection of nothing other than whether or not you're writing about topics that are popular within one niche subset of complete strangers.

[tyrannuspitch]

as a trans gay guy, my relationship to the concept of the butch/transmasc overlap is so so weird. because on one level it's by and large a real social phenomenon that underlies a lot of common experiences and draws communities together and so on. but then on another level. like. some of us (transmascs) just Are Not Butch. i recently read fun home, and i was really struck by bechdel's account of butchness and how it... didn't actually resonate with me at all. like, i'm very familiar with feeling uncomfortable with conventional femininity, and with wanting to look male - but i keep re-realising that the experience of specifically aspiring to masculinity is just alien to me. in particular, bechdel describes feeling like she might have been compensating for her dad's femininity, and like... i've never felt anything like that. i've tried to put distance between myself and women's femininity, but i've only ever looked at fem men and felt jealous of them.

but then i look at the cis gay male community for examples of male femininity, and of course, it has its own gnc/trans overlap. and i don't aspire to trans womanhood any more than i aspire to cis womanhood.

so for people on those two cusps, gender and orientation might be very fluid and open-ended, but my personal desired gender expression is actually quite narrow and a very delicate balance - narrower and more specific even than a lot of other fem gay trans guys i've encountered.

what's more, i've heard from a lot of people on the transmasc/butch cusp in particular that, essentially, they know they're queer because they're attracted to women, and the rest is hazier, but maybe also less important. which is an interesting perspective, but again - completely alien to me. gender comes first for me, without a doubt - and even that can be subdivided. orientation comes after gender, but a positive sense of maleness also comes after a completely fundamental sense of non-femaleness. gender and sexuality are entangled for both of us - but once again, in opposite ways.

i conceive of myself as a binary man, but even so, it's like... almost a nonbinary experience, in a way. like, in very old-fashioned views of queerness, there are two basic types of queer - the butch-lesbian-transhet-man group and the fem-gay-transhet-woman group. there are male inverts and female inverts, FtMs and MtFs, or in polari, omee-palones and palone-omees (men-women and women-men). and someone like me just... doesn't fit into that framework. if an invert is a man with a woman's soul or a woman with a man's soul, what is a woman with the soul of a man with the soul of a woman? you need more layers. you need to recognise that gender and orientation are, or at least can be, separable experiences to be able to conceive of me at all. and ironically that often means you have to frame orientation almost like a gender, again - i believe lou sullivan referred to himself as female-to-gay-male, and i can see why.

but at the same time - we've allegedly come so far, and people can now nominally conceive of identities like mine - but it's still a huge struggle to even begin to express it. how do you reconcile rejection of cisfemininity and womanhood with a genuine desire to be subtly feminine/effeminate? i haven't found a way yet. i don't know if it will be possible until i can access medical transition (and even then, it might take years.) so in the meantime, i look butch, and i just have to live with the fact that the identity i'm broadcasting is the direct opposite of who i really want to be.

idk man. i'm a trans man, but maybe i'm transandrogynous. but it has to be the right androgyny, an androgyny i feel is "male", so maybe i'm not! i'm a faggot trapped in a dyke's body. i'm transitioning from one queer gender expression to another, and while i do feel a degree of solidarity and commonality with actual butches, i also feel like butchness is, for me, nearly as suffocating and dissonant as cisfemininity.

and reading this back now, i've realised i'm doing the same thing over again - i'm conflating my own gayness with my own desire for androgyny(?)/effeminacy(?), and somewhere out there, a fem transhet guy or a butch transhet girl is groaning with exactly the same kind of alienation i often feel.

god. gender is so complicated and so important and so stupid at the same time. why does it have to be so hard!!! we all just want to exist.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! A little while ago you made a post where you mentioned a character who suffers from migraines would be considered disabled. I have had periodic migraines since I was a kid (varying in frequency and intensity, and now tend to get them associated with changes in the weather/seasons), and have never heard them described as a disability before. Is there a certain threshold for migraines to be considered a disability? Apologies if this sounds insensitive - I promise it is made in good faith.

Hello, thanks for your question! I love these kinds of identity-related questions, so apologies in advance for the slight ramble.

(The post referenced in this ask can be found here for anyone interested.)

This may be an unsatisfying answer, but it really depends on the person and whether they're personally comfortable identifying as disabled. This is true not only for people with migraines, but people who experience any kind of dynamic disability whose severity fluctuates over time or from day to day -- and especially so for people who may experience both extremes of being functionally able-bodied one day and fully debilitated the next.

My personal experience has taught me that people will often think their good days somehow cancel out the bad, and this gives them a kind of imposter syndrome when it comes to engaging with disabled community. My aim isn't to force people to identify as disabled (and I hope it didn't come across that way!) but rather to emphasize that there is no "correct" way to be disabled, that it's okay to find solidarity in disabled community even if you have more good days than bad, and to encourage us to think about why some conditions "count" in popular imagination as disability and others don't, no matter how debilitating they may be.

Some people who experience dynamic conditions like migraines (as just one example of many) might genuinely not consider their condition a disability and won't necessarily benefit from identifying that way, and that's completely okay. My mother gets a couple migraines per year that last about a day, and doesn't consider this a disability in itself because she just doesn't really feel they impact her life in a meaningful way. But a good friend of mine gets them much more frequently and isn't able to live normally/needs specific accommodation for days or weeks at a time, and does consider this a disability because it has a profound impact on their comfort and lifestyle. It just depends on what resonates with people and what they feel speaks most authentically to their experiences.

Just a sidenote as some people may not know this, but it's also exceedingly rare for a doctor to just come out and tell you that your diagnosis makes you disabled. In my experience, they'll hardly ever even use the word "disabled" at all. I've known people to go years living with a diagnosis the community practically unanimously sees as a disability, yet fully identifying as able-bodied without even thinking to connect with us for support, just because they expected a medical professional to tell them the moment they became disabled.

Ultimately, there are no hard and fast rules for who is "allowed" to identify as disabled. My own personal stance is that if people find comfort and solidarity in recognizing themselves as disabled and benefit from connecting with disabled community, I have no interest in interrogating them to figure out how affected they are by their condition or deciding whether I think they're disabled "enough" to call themselves that. I believe them to know their experiences best.

Even if someone lives with a dynamic condition and decides intentionally not to identify as disabled, I do think we all ultimately benefit from introspection about our own sense of ability and way of inhabiting the world, and from asking ourselves why so many people allow themselves to live in any manner of pain and discomfort before they'll let the word "disabled" even cross their mind.

I hope this helps explain my answer to that particular ask a bit more! While not necessarily writing related, per se, I do think these conversations are important, and I hope that at least one person comes away from these types of asks with something new to think about.

-Mod Faelan

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

could you tell us a story about homestuck?

For me, the thing that Homestuck did that made it special to me, as distinct from all the other webcomics that came out over the period from about 2008 on, was something I was aware of at the time and that I had some intuition as to why.

It's something like the feeling I get about people who read a lot of science fiction, or even just read a lot of science fiction -- a feeling that there's a pattern, that there's this sort of logic or "tension" to all the things people have made or thought up in that kind of story, a tension which is hard to explain unless you've "been there."

The science fiction stories I've read most often have a few things in common. They have a definite kind of "world," a set of values and experiences and ideas, which you get pretty used to and then when the author does something that is in some sense "wrong" with that world, that's part of the story. The reader reacts not merely by saying "huh," but by saying "of course, how could I forget about this?" The story's "world" and the reader's expectations are part of the same whole, and the story itself can evoke some part of the reader's knowledge of that world, so the reader's reaction has that feeling I've described.

This feeling is stronger, of course, in the kind of SF that most people read. What's more important here is that you know there isn't just one set of values which is common to many SF novels, you know that the authors are drawing on a large and wide and heterogeneous array of ideas. And it's because you know that the authors draw on such a wide array of ideas, that these things "come as a package," and that there's a "tension" between the set of things that come as a package and the set of ideas that the reader has. You may find the things in the package incompatible with one another in an ugly way; it's the tension between incompatible things which makes the package a package. And that's what you want to know about -- that "something" is there, or "the something" is there.

Here's the thing I want to get at with this essay: it's hard for me to define "Homestuck" and to identify with Homestuck, but at the same time I feel that the webcomic is somehow "about something."

The thing about Homestuck was, and is, the "tension" between the stuff that appears in the first place, and what you can guess about the world the author has chosen. It's the feeling I get when I look at things like "the character who thinks the others are stupid is the main one of the group," and notice that this character is the main character of the group and, more importantly, has a kind of praise written above the other characters, a kind of character flaw that gives him a kind of authority and special status within the group, and find that there's something sort of right in that: oh, so it's true!

Here's something else you find out pretty quickly about Homestuck. It's written for high school and college students, who have a lot of familiarity with certain kinds of things. A lot of the "tension" that one notices when reading Homestuck feels like it's already built into it: there's a kind of "bland" that feels like part of the package, because the story draws on so much -- I've heard it compared to "reading old Shakespeare," because the things the story draws on tend to have a lot of resonance in that way.

Here's the thing I think you can't quite get on your own, if you try: I think it's a very good webcomic. I don't mean that it's "well-written," which is the sort of compliment I think many people who aren't me would make. Homestuck is kind of "mediocre," but in a lot of ways I think it's really good at what it does, in a way which is difficult to put into words.

But, I mean it -- there's something there, something more than the sum of its parts, something which comes from this whole sort of background. And I say that it's good, but I'm saying it while also saying that the sum of the parts isn't quite good, either.

The most obvious sense in which it's "good" is that I think it's better than a lot of other stuff, including a lot of stuff that used to be popular -- Homestuck has a lot more going on than the average Homestuck fan wants to admit, and a lot of stuff which most Homestuck fans would take as seriously as I do. Homestuck is kind of like a big, messy story that's been reassembled out of smaller, more digestible things; it's easier to get into than it is to stay into, in the same way that a longer, complex story is easier to get into than to stay into.

This is not something I'm saying because Homestuck "used to be a lot better," or "has become worse" over time, or anything of the sort -- I'm saying this because I feel like I've learned more and gotten more out of the experience. I could put this down to a simple matter of learning maturity, or simply reading more of the "fluff." But I'm getting a different sense of the value of reading Homestuck from the one I got back in, say, 2010.

When I wrote the post I wrote way back then, which was entitled "Homestuck is good," my idea was that Homestuck was a story with a sort of internal logic, which was worth analyzing at some level for the sake of trying to figure it out. Reading Homestuck now, it still seems like a story that has a sort of internal logic. However, what's happened is this.

I read a lot of webcomics in 2008. I've read almost every webcomic that has had a significant fandom, in this time. This was the age of webcomics like Homestuck, Achewood, Karkat, Questionable Content, etc. There were a lot of them, and they were very popular. The people who liked those characters and stories and their fans talked about them all the time. Reading webcomics during this period was always a very crowded and noisy space. There were more webcomics being made than I could read in a year. And you could pretty easily tell which ones were really good, which ones had real talent, and which ones were just okay.

What about Homestuck that I liked so much more? Well, it's because in some important sense, Homestuck is not "just" a collection of things. It feels as though Homestuck "is a story" in an unusually clear, direct, and focused way. There are more than 200 pages -- but it feels like a very well-written story, which is to say, the thing

[one-abuse-survivor]

In response to the anon wondering if they’re disabled: I am considered legally disabled due to chronic pain, so it is definitely possible in some places (in my case, Canada). Unfortunately I can’t give any insight into the process as I was too young to be involved with that. But regardless of the legal side of things, I absolutely consider chronic pain a disability. 1/8

It’s a medical condition that makes it difficult to do a lot of things. I honestly can’t see a reason it wouldn’t be considered one. It’s just that people tend to have a narrow view of what disability actually is, when disability is actually a really broad term that encompasses a lot of very different conditions and experiences. 2/8

Unfortunately, other people might not believe that you’re disabled because you don’t fit into that narrow view of what it is. From my own experience I can tell you that some people will still think that even when you literally, legally are. 3/8

But being in pain all the time isn’t normal, and you don’t have to be completely unable to do something to be disabled. (I don’t know if this is something that resonates with you, but I’ve definitely had many times where I’ve felt like since I can sort of do something, it’s not really that bad, even when it’s painful or exhausting or difficult). 4/8

I know how hard it is to come to terms with disability, and so I understand if you don’t want to use that specific term right away or at all. Being unwell can be scary even without the stigma that comes with it. But please know that regardless of what words you use to describe it, your pain deserves to be taken seriously. 5/8

It’s kind of like with trauma— just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean that what you’re going through isn’t bad (and even the people who have it “really bad” often feel like they don’t). You deserve understanding, respect, and whatever you need to make your life easier. 6/8

And as a disabled person, I’ve only ever wanted more people to consider themselves disabled. It breaks my heart every time one of my friends asks me if their disability really counts. With disability being as isolating as it is, I think there is so much value in inclusion and solidarity. We don’t have to be alone in this. 7/8

(One final tip/side note: Something that really helped me when I was first coming to terms with my disability was reminding myself there’s no shame in doing something the “lazy” way. Even something as simple as pulling up a chair while you’re cooking or sitting in the shower can help so much. If it hurts less, do it). 8/8

(the ask in question)

Thank you so much for this, nonnie. You said so many things I couldn't put into words and things I myself needed to hear as well. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and help out that other anon! ❤️

I really like the advice about allowing ourselves to do things the "lazy" way! I've heard it before and I think it should be said way more often. It also always bears repeating that just because others "have it worse", it doesn't mean we don't all deserve respect, understanding, and whatever accommodations we might need.

[heizelnutlatte]

💬 [24112022] Esquire Korea: Actor Ryu Kyungsoo described acting as "doing work, just like anyone else, as a member of society." (Part 1)

An actor who is a type A, INFP. He is shy, but always the last one to leave the after-parties. He believes that acting is a tremendous job but no more special than anyone else's job, emphasizing that the process is as important as the result. We heard the genuine thoughts of Ryu Kyungsoo at the threshold of winter.

Q. You've been quite busy lately, right?

I'm currently shooting the drama Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938, and besides that, there's not much else. There are many remote shootings and action scenes, so there are times when my body feels tired, but it's not too tough.

Q. Really? It feels like you're mysteriously everywhere. I heard there are about 5 projects that are either going to be released soon or where your participation is confirmed.

Ah, that's because some of the things I shot a while ago got delayed due to COVID-19 and are only now being released, so it seems like I'm working a lot. I don't have any grand plans to do a lot of work; I just see it as my job and keep at it steadily. To me, it feels just like I'm working like anyone else, as a part of society, just like people in other professions.

Q. It seems like you don't worry much about the weight of your roles or your filmography.

It might sound like a simple answer, but for me, it's enough if it's fun. When you meet people, you sometimes feel vaguely that you want to get to know them, right? It could be because they have a unique charm, we vibe well, or there's something attractive about them. It's similar when I choose projects. If I feel like "I want to try this role" or "I want to be part of this world," I don't really think about other aspects.

Q. You've been in a lot of works recently that mix fantasy, thriller, and occult elements. Is this by chance, or is it a personal preference?

It's a bit of a personal preference. I find myself very interested in themes that I haven't encountered in everyday life. Of course, I like realistic works as well, and it seems like I'll be doing more of those. But fantasy and occult works have their own unique charm. The profession of an actor is appealing because it allows you to experience things you otherwise wouldn't be able to.

Q. Before these, you often played evil and weak characters, or those that seemed likely to exist in real society. Short films often focus on realistic subjects, but it seems you have been particularly adept at portraying what might be called 'ordinary evil.'

I see that as just part of my job as well. Even within works that aim for realism, there are aspects that resonate more with audiences and feel more realistic. That's why there's fun in acting very naturally and in 'ultra-fine' detail. On the other hand, with fantastical works that you wouldn't experience in everyday life, there's fun in imagining 'how will it look when I express it this way?' That makes me go to the set with more excitement. Everyone has days when they think, 'Ah, I really don't want to go to work today.' But with these kinds of projects, I can go to the set feeling more excited.

Q. You've seen the drama Glitch and the movie Daemuga (Ryu Kyungsoo's recent works), right?

Yes, I've watched Glitch, and I've seen Daemuga twice.

Q. Oh, twice? In the cinema?

Yes, I saw it twice at the premiere.

Q. (Laughs) That sounded rather proud, but it wasn't a voluntary viewing, was it?

No, but I went on purpose even though I didn’t have to. (Laughs) I generally find it hard to watch my own work, so watching it twice is quite a lot for me.

Q. You usually only watch a film once, for monitoring purposes, right?

Yes, I think it's necessary to see the results of my work. I watch to review things like, 'This is how it turned out when I did this,' or 'This approach didn't work out too well.'

Q. So, you don't enjoy watching them?

Right. Many actors probably feel the same. The most intuitive comparison I can make for people who haven't acted is listening to a recording of their own voice. It sounds different from what you expect and feels strange.

Q. While preparing for this interview, I felt that your approach to acting seems closer to that of actors from the 1980s and 1990s who practised acting like monks. There seems to be a serious solemnity to it.

(Laughs) Really? Maybe it's because I've always admired and learned a lot from older actors who are now in middle age. Also, I do treat my work with great importance. It's a different issue to ask others to think of it as such; I only hold myself to that standard.

Q. You often say, 'I just think of it as just another job,' but it seems to be a different issue for you internally.

I think of acting as just another job, like any other. While I take acting seriously, I can't say to a friend with a different job that 'I'm doing something great.' Their work is as important as mine. It's kind of like a spell I cast on myself, a spell to work harder. My work isn't just for me; it's to be shown to someone else. It's a job, and I need to do it properly.

Q. Thinking about why I got that impression, it seems your childhood stories had a big influence. You went to a film company with a resume at age fifteen and asked to be made an actor. You also went up a mountain and didn't come down until sunset while practising your vocal exercises.

It was reckless. (Laughs) I heard stories on talk shows about older actors who would go to film companies as kids and do menial tasks like mopping and running errands, thinking that was the way to become an actor. I couldn't practice my vocal exercises at home because my parents were there, so I thought I had to go somewhere people didn't frequent. Wow, but when the sun set on Achasan hill, it was so scary. The shapes of the trees seemed different, and graves that weren't visible before started to appear. I remember how scared I was when I came down.

Q. In recent interviews, you've expressed a strong desire for acting. You mentioned that life would be difficult without acting, as it consumes your thoughts and is all you talk about with people.

That's right. Without acting, there's really nothing else to define me. I wouldn't know what else to talk about. (Laughs) I don't have any hobbies.

Q. Didn't you say you do flower arranging as a hobby?

I don't have a hobby. I just said I wanted to try flower arranging, but the media reported it as if I actually do it (laughs) and it got blown out of proportion. I'm still interested in learning it, but I'm not particularly drawn to it. When you take on a new character, there's this thrilling feeling of 'how will I do this?' There are worries and expectations. But that's work, and outside of that, there's not much else that really pulls me in. Some people suggest playing golf or trying surfing, but I don't really feel the urge to actually do those things.

Q. It must be hard to find something that sparks you as much as acting does. How do you think the desires you had at fifteen differ from those you have now?

When I was fifteen, I simply wanted to act. 'Simply' is the right word. Then, as I entered my twenties, I felt confused. I was working hard, but no one seemed to notice. The character Shinam in Daemuga doesn’t know what to do in his twenties, can't find a job, so he decides to become a shaman after attending a shaman crash course—that's the character I played when I was twenty-eight. (Daemuga is based on a 2018 short film and is unusual in that it was extended to a full-length film later.) So, a lot of my feelings from that time are reflected in it. Around the time I graduated from university, I was really struggling with what to do next. Now, it's different again. I think I want to act 'properly' with real thought and care.

🔗 https://www.esquirekorea.co.kr/article/72532

Ryu Kyungsoo x Esquire Korea, 2022

[bosquedemel]

Review of Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa (read in portuguese) ⭐⭐⭐⭐/ 5

I had heard of this book for a long time before I read it and of how everyone seemed to like it. Well, I'm no exception. I really, really enjoyed it. It's a beautiful book, emotional and hopeful. I teared up and cried a couple of times.

The story concerns Sentarô, a disillusioned man who sees himself as a failure, who works alone at a pastry shop in Tokyo making dorayaki. One day, an old woman named Tokue, who has a long experience making the sweet bean paste that is the filling of the dorayaki, approaches him and asks to work at the shop. Reluctantly, he accepts and the quality of the dorayaki increases, as well as the number of customers, as he and Tokue form a deep bond. However, Tokue has a secret concerning her life which, when revealed, changes everything. Also in the story is Wakana, a teenage girl with a hard life at home who bonds with Tokue and Sentarô at the shop.

The writing is simple but highly effective (something I particularly like), transmitting strong visuals and smells and tastes, as well as emotions, in a few words but very well. In the first part, there's a description of the process of making the sweet bean paste that made my mouth water. The characters are also compelling and felt real to me.

Without getting into spoilers, this is also a Book With A Cause. The book's message (which some might say is a bit overstated), commented upon by the author in his note at the end, is one of hope and optimism. With a synopsis as I described, you may not think it, but this book actually deals with a big question, if not the biggest question of all: what is the meaning of life? And how do we give meaning to our individual lives?

The answer is one I found resonant - that all our lives have meaning simply because we exist and experience the world, which in turn only exists because we experience it. We feel the wind, we smell the flowers, we look up at the moon. If there were no beings here to do these things, then they wouldn't exist. They would be things experienced by no one and nothing conscious. No matter how long or short, how full of successes or failures, how much struggle we have to endure, all lives are meaningful and special simply because we live.

This book posits this in contrast with the idea that someone's value is measured by personal and professional success or by being a "useful member of society". Through the main characters we see that that's a metric that automatically excludes some people for being "useless" and for having "meaningless" lives. This is a topic that really resonates with me and that I think is more important than ever for us to consider, as we keep seeing people's lives being measured for what that person can contribute to society in a given way, instead of considering everyone to have inherent value regardless of "success" or circumstances.

As a last remark, I've come upon some reviews that describe the book as underdeveloped and too simplistic, with people not "connecting" with the characters and plot (I believe the style is what some call "literary" - not plot-heavy, nor with a traditional structure). Personally, I really love this writing style, and it has the perfect amount of depth to me, but that's something I wanted to mention in case this is something that may put someone off.

[laguezze]

Hii 🌸

I'd love to participate in your new game, "Words from your Higher Self"!

I'm A.J, and I identify as a she/her, and I'm a Taurus Sun ☀️

The three emojis that represent me are: 🧚🏻‍♀️🐒🌷

Thank you so much for your time and energy love. Looking forward to your response 💖

Hello! Thank you for participating! I'm looking forward to this reading, your energy is very pretty! (Idk how to describe it lmao)

You might have gotten your heart broken recently. Seems like a romantic heartbreak. Maybe unrequited love? Breakup? I am not sure. Someone left with someone else. Maybe your crush got a partner or your ex cheated or maybe they met someone soon after the breakup. You may have dark, round eyes. People may say you could be in a Tim Burton movie. You may be pale or have a colder undertone in your skin. You may wear a necklace that means a lot to you. I'm seeing a grandmother initial maybe? Perhaps an M or W? Take it as it resonates!

Here's your message:

Oh, sweetheart. You are so strong. In fact, I don't think people recognize just how strong you really are. I mean, people keep taking you for granted and it upsets me too. I'm not going to say: "oh it's just character development" and move on. It hurts you, at least unconsciously. I don't want to invalidate that experience. You know what you have always been told. Now that I've been sweet and cute, it's time for me to deliver the message. Kick their @s$. Yeah, you heard me. Of course, not literally. But kick it. You were expecting some wholesome message, weren't you? I bet you're taken aback. People always treat you like you're so fragile and like you're made of porcelain. Well, we both know that's not true. So do it. Show them who's boss. You are the one that's in control. They underestimate you? Use it. The things people think are your weaknesses are actually your strengths. Don't forget that.

I hope it resonated! Don't forget to leave feedback so I know what to work on! 💕

[baby-honeyy]

Warning: im ranting about asexuality and mention sexual assault and othe sex talk

Probably tmi but im really upset. Someone I thought really cared about me keeps asking how being asexual has ever been an issue. She keeps asking how I could ever have had anything negative happen just from my lack of sexual interest. At first it seemed like an innocent question, something she was genuinely curious about. But the more she asks the more I realize she isnt asking in order to educate herself, she's asking because she doesn't believe that my life as an asexual person could be all that different from a straight cis person.

Well. Apart from the fact that I am neither straight nor cis, there are plenty of negative experiences that center around my asexuality or really, the lack of general knowledge or acceptance of asexuality in general.

First off, I grew up believing that there was something seriously medically wrong with me. Everyone around me was so focused on sex that the only time I ever heard of someone not wanting sex was when it was a symptom of a mental illness or medication. I thought (as early as the later years of elementary school) that because I never wanted to have a first kiss or a first time I must be ill.

In middleschool, as we started sex ed, all my friends started talking about their first sexual experiences. Their first kisses, their first time getting off, first time going all the way. And I started getting physically ill at the thought that I would have to do the same. I forced myself to masterbate even though I hated it because I thought I had to. I was convinced that if I didn't then when It actually came time for me to have sex It would be much worse.

In 6th grade I told my mom I wanted to be a nun because to me that was the only way I'd never be forced to have sex. Im not even catholic.

In 8th grade I hoped that my first time having sex would be when I was too drunk to actually experience it.

In my freshman year my mom told me no one would ever really be able to love me unless I was able to give them sex.

And when I finally learned what asexuality was I felt so relieved. Because not only was there a word that perfectly described me, but it came with a community of people who could understand me better than anyone else.

I joined my first lgbtqia club my sophomore year, i came out as bi and asexual. I was kicked out of the club, because being both bi and ace apparently meant I was a "transphobic straight attention seeker"

Every person I've ever had a Romantic interest in has asked me the question "but have you tried it"

My stepmom told me that it was unfair of me to "withhold that intimate connection" from my future partner. That "relationships are two way streets" and that "you need to prepare yourself to be able to love them that way"

While my experience with asexuality isn't going to be the same as everyone's, I know that there are things I've mentioned here that other ace people will resonate with. I also know that my trauma surrounding sexual assault has influenced how I perceive sex. Not every asexual person is sex repulsed.

Something I hear a lot around ace discourse is "no one has ever killed someone for being asexual" and technically that true.

But there is "Correctional" rape, Physical assault, Verbal harrasment, Suicide, and much more.

The amount of times someone has gotten physically aggressive with me or my friends for "leading them on" in a relationship even AFTER explaining Asexuality is sad.

I honestly thought that we'd grown out of the "my trauma is worse than yours" phase and realized that way of thinking is harmful.

I know that there will always be someone worse off than me. I was lucky enough to be born white. I was lucky enough to have friends who support me. I was lucky that I wasn't born in the middle of a war. I was lucky enough to be born into a Christian family who didn't ever have to face religious persecution. In so many ways I know I am privileged and I am lucky and I am better off. But that doesn't erase the shit I was unlucky enough to have to experience.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

hii!! I'm so sorry for taking so long to respond, I've been a little busy and I didn't want to rush a reply but I hope you've been good the last few days <3 have you been up to anything interesting since uni ended?

ooh I won't go on for too long about kpop because you'll never hear the end of it 😂 I really like bts and blackpink too!! mmh I'm multifandom for the most part, but my mains are twice, nct, enhypen and gidle, they're all really good groups if you wanna check them out. and its pretty funny because you're joining kpop right in the transition from 3rd gen to 4th gen haha, so there's a lot going on to see!! twice's 'formula of love' album is incredible if you want to listen them more, every song on it is so damn good, I play it all the time. 'cruel' is a very good song if you don't want to listen to the full album. also 'verse 2' by jj project is a super good album but very different from 'normal' kpop, it's more chill than pop. it's one of my faves.

and here I was saying I wasn't gonna talk a lot about kpop 😂

ALSO I've been meaning to look into redacted asmr but I haven't had the chance to yet, I don't really know much about asmr but I lowkey wanna get into it. I've heard a few of the anime guy asmr's, is it similar to that? but anyway, I read green umbrella trees it was so cute and pretty, you're writing is absolutely amazing. I fell in love with the way you described him touching the readers body, I literally don't know how else to explain it but it was like I was reading the best poetry in the world. I wanna know who made you feel love the way you do because I can really see how beautiful and precious it is in your writing. and I can't wait for the beach simeon fic! I'm in a whole beach mood since the weather has been pretty nice lately, so I am ready for it!!!

also your mum sounds so cool haha I hope your easter is lovely tomorrow if you're celebrating it <3

- 🌻

baby!! hello 🥰🥰

lmao so i said i was going to rest my ankle, turns out that is a little bit difficult when you are on holiday with your parents in spain 🤡 valencia is very lovely but i am walking at about 0.5 mph so plenty of time to smell the metaphorical roses?? i get back today so this coming week i'm going to meet up w some of my friends from sixth form which will be nice :) how about you?? any plans while the weather's still decent?? 🌤️🌤️

UMMMM???? listening to 'cruel' literally right now and this is an entire BOP *added to playlist* 🕺🕺🕺ooh i've heard good things about nct, will add them to the list 👌✌️

😭😭 i'm so glad you liked green umbrella trees!! ik the redacted fandom is p small, so it's very reassuring to know that you liked it anyway 🥺🥰 i am blushing v hard

i think i get a lot of my ideas about love from reading fic tbh - i have no real experience with romantic love irl (unless you count the one or two crushes i had at school lmao it's definitely not from real life i am so very very single lmao), so i feel very attached to the idea of love as something fantastical and strange and somehow comforting - something alien and unusual and that makes your head spin, but that feels like home. you don't need to look too closely at my writing to see that i like to compare feelings that are very zoomed in with much larger, grander concepts - to take green umbrella trees as an example:

"he takes the universe in his stride - it follows behind him, waiting on his word, lapping playfully at his heels. [...] your world is the size of his voice. your living room is the size of his love. your heart is the size of his hands. you measure the whole world to him, and nothing ever compares."

"elastic snaps against skin. outside, the sky stretches on forever."

the bits that resonate the most with me when i'm reading tend to be quite tactile - the connection between touch and trust and vulnerability.... when i actually think about it, it's quite unusual for me to get very close to people?? like?? so describing skin contact of any variety holds a lot of weight to me, and that's the feeling i want to put across :)

SIMEON BEACH FIC!!!!! im very excited for this one hehe 🤠🤠 lots of ice cream and sunshine and goodness to come (although it's really hard to not call it sun tan lotion?? i think that's just a uk thing and i'm worried that it might come off as the wrong thing, so now i have to call it sunscreen) 🏖️🏖️🏖️

and yes happy easter my love!! hope you have a gorgeous day tomorrow (regardless of whether you're celebrating anything or not :D)

(let me pop this under the cut bc i RAMBLED wow)

REDACTED ASMR!! i have no idea who this anime guy is lmao i don't listen to very much asmr in general ok so i only discovered it very recently on youtube, but bro?? it's actually really good?? the guy who does it, erik, is so big-brained and has the most incredible storylines and universe (plus his voices?? 😘😘 obv idk much about regional american accents but imo he is UNCLOCKABLE WOW) - i think i spoiled summarised the marcus storyline in this post!

the basic premise is that a magical, "empowered" society exists alongside and hidden from our normal "unempowered" reality - each "main character" has a listener who functions as a character of their own, and all of these characters are involved in various different storylines that overlap with others (e.g. the 'inversion' arc). it's a MASSIVE universe but it's actually not that hard to get into - lmk if you want me to break down an order that i recommend, bc this post is already v long lmao

(for context: this is a list of i think most of the characters who have listeners?? there are lots more - all with distinct voices!! claps to mr erik!! - who are supporting/background characters but do not have listeners, who aren't here. listed as "character name (listener nickname)".

the DAMN boys (elementals): lasko, damien, huxley (plus gavin, an incubus) - these guys all have one listener, called freelancer/deviant

the solaire clan (vampires): vincent (lovely), sam (darlin')

the shaw pack (werewolf shifters): david (angel), asher (babe), milo (sweetheart), plus sam's listener darlin'

the office boys: aaron (smartass), ollie (babe/mentor)

miscellaneous other?? (includes 'the balance', 'sadism's hold', and 'project meridian', plus some extra): elliott (sunshine), blake (bestie?), ivan (baby), vega (warden), avior (starlight), marcus (love), geordi (cutie)

it's such a wonderful fandom and literally everyone in the tag is lovely - highly highly recommend 😍😍

[raavenb2619]

so I'm slowly getting more comfortable with identifying as nonbinary, and I've changed my name and pronouns online/with my friends. (I know changing those things aren't a requirement of being nb but using them makes me much happier. gender euphoria or just being happy that people are listening to me and accepting me? idk. anyways.)

but I'm still finding it really difficult to actually determine what my gender is. i like very specific labels and I feel like if I have one, I'll be less scared of realising I was wrong and I'm just a cis girl who's fairly disconnected from femininity. I'm scared of what my friends will think if I "go back" to my old identity. but it all just feels very nebulous and I'm just like,,,,,,,"girl? but maybe not? both?? aaaa"

(also this is kind of a change of topic but i guess it kind of connects to the feeling of being afraid to go back.) I want to buy a binder but I'm worried that I won't like wearing it and I'll have wasted my money. should I just get one?

I can definitely relate. When I was figuring out my gender, I wanted to find specific labels that described exactly how I felt. I did eventually find some (agenderflux demigirl), and I’m glad that I have them, but I wouldn’t have predicted how exactly I’d end up using them. See, specific labels are great for finding other people who can relate to your niche experiences, but they can often require a lot of explaining on your part when you’re coming out to people or introducing yourself to people. I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t look for specific labels (after all, they were empowering for me and very well could be for you), but just keep in mind that you might also end up using umbrella terms like nonbinary, trans, genderqueer, etc. 

I can’t tell you what specific label or labels to use, because that’s your decision, but I might be able to steer you in the right direction. Have you heard of demigender/demigirl? I use it to describe my complex relationship to femininity. I’m...sort of adjacent to being a girl, not exactly a girl, but also not exactly not a girl? (Things are even more complicated for me because the intensity of my gender changes, so sometimes I’m agender. If that matches with your experiences, you might find the term genderflux helpful.) As another resource, you might find a huge list like this helpful, but it can also be a little overwhelming by how many terms there are, so don’t spend too long on any term at first, and just see if it kind of “resonates” with you. 

Getting a binder is a fairly personal decision. If you’re not comfortable buying a binder, one option is to try wearing looser/baggier clothing to see if you like how that looks. I’m not a medical professional, so I’m not particularly qualified to give medical advice about binding, but there are things you can do to minimize the risks of binding; for example, one of the posts in my #binding tag says that it’s okay to bind with a sports bra that’s one size too small as long as you remember to take regular breaks, but that you should avoid anything smaller than that. 

If you do decide to bind, I recommend you read what different sources (this is a good place to start) have to say about safe binding practices. Binding safety is really important because the risk and harm that comes from unsafe binding can be long-term effects and take a while to appear, so it’s not always immediately obvious that what you might be doing is unsafe. However, your own mental health and wellness is important too, so you may reasonably decide that the benefits outweigh the risks of (safely) binding. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[script-a-world]

My story takes place in a world that frequently experiences earthquakes due to regularly shifting plates. I was wondering if you had any reccomendations for the types of architecture that would naturally develop in response to this? I've been reading about flexible foundations but I wasn't sure if there were any cultures who had developed specific methods of construction.

Feral: I have a bunch of academic links for you to look at, so I’m just gonna pull a Tex and dump them all at the bottom. But first to briefly summarize:

First of all, given your question seems to be about developing architecture, all the methods I’m going to talk about show up pre-industrial revolution for any given earthquake prone area. I’m not sure what you mean by “frequent” earthquakes. The methods I’ll be describing are based on real world earthquake prone areas, specifically focusing on traditional construction methods in the Himalayas, so take note that environmental factors gradually wear anything down. Even if the construction technique is “earthquake resistant,” that doesn’t make it “earthquake proof.” If your earthquakes are coming much more frequently, then the buildings will break down faster. In which case, you might be better off having your peoples building structures that are not meant to stand up to earthquakes, are lightweight and won’t be a hazard when they fall, and are very easy to rebuild once they’re knocked down - and there are cultures throughout history living in earthquake prone areas who have done just this. The biggest risk associated with earthquakes (just earthquakes though, so not including earthquake-related natural phenomena like tsunamis) is heavy structures collapsing on people; that’s what accounts for most deaths. You should also consider what magnitude of earthquakes your people are experiencing. The methods and materials I’ll be talking about should be ok for earthquakes that are low to medium on the Richter scale, and while there are documented cases of buildings of these types surviving particularly strong earthquakes (that have leveled more modern methods for earthquake resistance), we’re talking about earthquake resistant, not earthquake proof architecture.

Ok, let’s talk shape first. Uniformity and symmetricality are a must. 4-cornered structures - rectangular or square - will work best. The more corner-joints you have, the weaker the building, but at the same time, too few joints (as in a triangle) is not as stable, so 4 is your magic number. A lower center of gravity will also help with stability, so build out, not up. I’m not familiar with any vernacular or traditional domed architectural styles that specifically developed for earthquake resistance. This is likely a combination of true domes being real difficult to develop, the structure needing to be as regular as possible, and the materials typically used to build earthquake resistant vernacular buildings not being conducive to regular, uniform dome building. However, you may have heard that domes are super strong, and I mentioned that you want as few corners as possible. So, yeah, if your people can build (the right kind of) domes well… do that.

Now let’s talk about supporting the structure (assuming you’re going with a square or rectangular building). There are a few ways to stabilize the joints, like corner braces or quoins. To overall stabilize the building you have a few techniques. The walls can be made thicker on a taper; in other words, in a trapezoidal shape with the thicker side on the ground. You can use buttresses (they don’t have to be super fancy flying ones, though adding an arch is another great form of wall support). You also would definitely want to make sure you’re using ties because it’s tensile strength (aka “pulling strength”) we’re worried about when it comes to earthquakes, not compressive (aka “pushing strength”). (We’re obviously also worried about compressive strength in buildings because that’s, like, gravity, but tensile strength is the special kind of concern that seismic activity creates.)

And finally, materials and how to put ‘em together… The material and construction technique that is currently being the most studied is the Bhatan and/or Taq style structures in the Himalayas, particularly in northern India and Pakistan and in Nepal, because of the 2005 & 2019 earthquakes in Kashmir and the 2015 earthquake in Nepal. They use a combination of timber and  masonry (often dry-stacked, aka mortarless). Instead of using the timber in columns, they actually create horizontal frames that they place at regular intervals between the masonry. Timber on the horizontal like that has really great tensile strength (though not great compressive strength), and the stones have great compressive strength but not great tensile strength. This masonry tension-concern is mitigated by the way the stones are stacked: they are allowed to shift within their timber frame, which disperses the side to side energy via friction.

One last thing to consider is where they are building. The last thing anyone wants is for their house to survive the earthquake but then get wiped out by a landslide or tsunami. Site selection will be a major concern for your people.

Check out these resources for more in depth information: (btw vernacular architecture “represents the majority of buildings and settlements created in pre-industrial societies and includes a very wide range of buildings, building traditions, and methods of construction.”)

How Can Vernacular Construction Techniques Sustain Earthquakes: The Case of the Bhatar Buildings

Notes on the Seismic Adequacy of Vernacular Buildings

Earthquake Resistant Vernacular Architecture | Analysis

The Earthquake Resistant Vernacular Architecture in the Himalayas

Seismic Behavior of Vernacular Architecture

An Overview of Seismic Strengthening Techniques Traditionally Applied in Vernacular Architecture

Vernacular Architecture in Post-Earthquake Nepal

Seismic-Resistant Building Practices Resulting from Local Seismic Culture

Check out this dome: Stunning Geodesic Domes from Romania Can Handle Earthquakes up to 8.5 on the Richter Scale

And if you are looking for more modern, industrial and/or smart, design: Designing for Earthquakes: 7 Buildings that Guard Against Seismic Activity

Synth: Traditional Chinese and Japanese wood architecture have structural elements called Dougong and Tokyō, respectively, forms of passive vibration control. They’re made of interlaced brackets (Dougong), or brackets and blocks (Tokyō), that join the building’s roof to the support columns. Both are held together purely through the way the pieces fit, without any sort of adhesives or nails/screws. This lack of fasteners gives the support structure a great deal of flexibility, allowing it to bend and twist during an earthquake, instead of shattering and bringing the building down.

The Inca did something similar with their dry-stone construction, stonework without the use of mortar to hold the blocks together. Just like with Dougong and Tokyō, no fasteners or adhesives meant the blocks could move a bit during an earthquake, dissipating the energy via a process called coulomb damping, which is just a fancier way of saying that the friction between the rocks got rid of the shaky motion of the earthquake by turning it into heat.

Mass dampers in buildings are relatively new -- humanity didn’t start putting them in buildings until about the 1950s -- but in their simplest form they’re basically a big weight mounted inside a building via some springs or cables, counteracting and dampening (hence the name), the resonance caused by seismic waves. Even if your world’s inhabitants have yet to reach their version of the Industrial Revolution, I would consider it possible for them to develop a technique like this.

By now you may have noticed that a pretty common thread running through all these different construction methods is that they create structures that are inherently, well, kinda jiggly. At first you’d think that surely a really solid, rigid building would pull through the best, but it is in fact the complete opposite. Now obviously a building with the consistency of overcooked pasta won’t survive a quake either -- it needs to be able to support its own weight, for starters, and something too bendy would just collapse under the slightest off-centre force -- but a building that can flex, or is mounted on a base that can move -- will fare much better.

Wikipedia’s earthquake engineering page is a good jumping-off point for some more research.

[cosmictulips]

Kinda late but hey!!! Thank u so much for the color reading. It was really accurate I felt exposed lmao. I love technology and computers (I've been using them my whole life like I literally learned how to read and write with a keyboard and a monitor. I also want to study graphic design or something related to web design) so your description got me like 👁️👄👁️.

Also I've heard many readers say that I should take a break to not streets myself out so much but😃 I'm always procrastinating and feeling guilty and mad at myself for not doing enough like ????

Anywayy you described me really well🖤 your work is always appreciated -mfh♏

Hello Friend =D I’m glad the reading resonated.  this color thing has been weird but I’m glad people have been finding it accurate lol.  what a fun experiment it is to do.  It’ll probably a permanent fixture on the blog now lol 

and you probably should take the break ;)

If you ever need anything feel free to stop on by =D

[themagicianshea]

From now until November, we’ll be spotlighting some of our MHHE registered authors. Want to make art for them? Register here! Artists who register before July 6th get early access to claims.

MHHE Author Spotlight: coldwaughtersq

What piece of work best represents your writing style, and how would you briefly describe it?

I would say I'm a very sensory/descriptive writer. I usually start each scene with a dialog frame, and then I do a lot of mentioning little details about the character's environment - the sunlight, the chalk, the fact that Quentin hasn't really been out of bed or changed clothes in days - that help make the space they're occupying feel more real. I tend to give examples in threes, like when Eliot thinking back on his past experiences with Quentin's depression in the excerpt. It just feels more nicely balanced when I read back over the text later.

“my heart restarts”

“Tell me something true.” Quentin says, another instruction, and for a moment it’s Eliot that’s gone-

Snapped back into a memory of Fillory like he’s riding a rubber band. The afternoon sun shining in through the windows of the cottage, Eliot -chalk striped and tanned, laying on top of the covers while Quentin shook beneath them, still in the same clothes he’d worn three days ago, lost to the quest and to Eliot while his brain attempted to eat him alive. The first time they’d been through this cycle, it had been terrifying, the second, they’d borne it miserably but determinedly together. The third time, Eliot had gotten so frustrated by his helplessness he’d smashed their wine jug, and had to put it back together himself. This time, Eliot laid down next to him on the bed, his shoulder just barely bumping up against Quentin’s back, and said “I know you have- a lot… Going on in there right now. Speaking from my own experience, most of it is bullshit.” Here Quentin had huffed what might have been a laugh, and Eliot remembered the elated, floaty feeling of having broken through the fog. “But I’m going to tell you something true.”

They’d made it a tradition, when Quentin was starting to disappear into himself - when he already had, because nothing could prevent that completely. They would sit on their bench, or in their bed, or on the mosaic, and Eliot would list off things that Quentin could trust - especially when he couldn’t trust his own mind."

What piece of work are you most proud of and why?

I really love Recovery!verse, even though most of it is sitting in half-finished files on my google drive. After the finale, I needed a universe to play in that felt narratively satisfying, and from that I ended up with this story: where Quentin didn't die, and where he and Eliot get a little space to work through their respective traumas in the background of the next Big Story Arc. What would that look like, and how would the events of the show as we've seen them so far affect that recovery? What would being brave actually look like, for Eliot, in that universe? And I feel like what I've posted so far has been a good start to that. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback about "my heart restarts", and it's really been great to see other people resonating with that desire for the story to continue.

“Sweetheart,” Eliot says, helplessly, as it clicks with him finally, what Quentin is doing here. And yes, he’d heard about that night from Julia but it was one thing to hear from an observer what had happened and another entirely to see his hands, under his control, wrapped around Quentin’s throat. To see Quentin’s fear, to feel it in the bunching of muscles and tendons beneath him palms. To hear Quentin breathe, shallow and quick, through the memory playing beneath his eyelids.

“Yellow, yellow, yellow.”  Quentin doesn’t wait for him to ask, chants the word under his breath like a prayer, and so Eliot waits, misery and nausea and hope swirling in his gut as he watches his hands, unmoving, before he remembers.

“The first time we did this, you said it made you feel safe.” His voice betrays him, tripping over the idea of safety, which had made so much sense in their peaceful mosaic bubble, and had to seem preposterous after a year of being dragged on a godly murder spree. “Truth.” He feels Q’s eyes on him before he looks up, and sees the sheer naked trust there, the soft-hearted sharp-edged center of Quentin. It was nearly overwhelming.: that Eliot had ended up here, in this reality, with this man, with his belief.

A year and a half ago, Eliot had seen that trust and chosen to run.

He was not going to make the same mistake again. 

What tropes can we look forward to in your MHHE fic?

Oh gosh, okay, so, for starters: you can go back home again, he's good with his hands, mistletoe kissing...  I feel like anything else would be giving too much away! 

Fuck, Marry, Kiss (under the mistletoe) with three Magicians characters of your choice!

Fuck: Margo

Marry: Quentin

Kiss: Alice