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phantomoftheorpheum · 3 months

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I’m not sure if I’m the only one, but I just? Genuinely hated the finale.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s always nice to see who the killer is at the end and the big reveal and to finally get some damn answers. But like.

The fuck????

Okay, let me start from the beginning.

Summer school.

ya know? For it being summer school, you sure know what they don’t actually show a lot? Yeah. Summer school. I think the entirety of them spent there could literally be under five minutes. Which is? Kinda pathetic considering that was supposed to be like the entire damn theme of this season.

LOL get yonked, I genuinely laughed when it was revealed they did disastrously worse on their tests and they’re so shocked about it. Like ‘Wow! Who knew meant going to summer school means we actually have to learn things and do assignments and turn in homework! It’s almost like it’s school- oh wait!’

Lordy the way I fucking hate Jen with an eternal passion. I’ve literally never hated a gay character in my life but she is literally cross bounding my boundaries to light an eternal pyre of hatred. Like she’s actually sociopathic at this point. She gets Noa to cheat on her boyfriend with her. Lies to her. Manipulates her. Literally fucking STEALS AND ROBS from Shawn. Ya know after he literally gave her 2000 dollars to bail HER ASS out of jail. The audacity. The entitlement. The way every decision from her is more morally corrupt one after another. I genuinely despise her character more then anyone. And for her to suggest Tabby and Imogens boyfriends was so damn random. Like. Girl you have a criminal record longer than A’s victim list. Maybe they should take a double look at YOU! You literal PSYCHO.

Noa actually being a hypocritical bitch and accusing both their partners when hers is literally the most sus. Lol and turns out it was NONE?! Of the partners. Insane. Actually crazy.

Damn Imogen. Honestly you’re low key a red flag 😭. I felt so bad for Johnny when they found out he was innocent. Like imogen literally gave him massive cerebral trauma and left him for DEAD.

Also also. I fucking HATE plot holes. But how the FUCK were those bodies in their for weeks on end and no one saw them??? If Johnny wasn’t in on it how did they even get in there?!!!? It’s not like Wes or Mrs. Langsberry even worked there. Also??? You telling me after weeks they never did restock? Never needed to refil a single bucket of ice cream? All imogen has to do was move ONE bucket to see the body. They didn’t even hide them well. Theirs some giant ass cavern of space behind a wall of poorly placed ice cream.

WHAT was the entire point of Imogens plot line with her dad??? It had to relation to the story. And why the fuck was Rebecca even introduced 😭. 0 reason.

I’m also confused how the fuck they managed to plant the Davie mask in Christians house. Like. Does he not have parents??? How did they just casually break and enter into the house. Their would be 0 reason for either of them to visit. Were they all just master breaking and enterers? Come on they can’t have all taken lessons from Jen!

Speaking of her. WHAT WAS THE DAMN POINT???? Noa screwed Shawn over so bad and I actually hate who she’s become. And it’s disgusting the writers are trying to frame is as okay because it’s gay 🏳️‍🌈✨! Like NO! We love representation yes but NOT at the expense of manipulation, literal mental abuse, mass stealing, mass property damage. Threatening someone’s fucking life. CHEATING. At this point I honestly feel like it could even in a way somewhat qualify as r*pe. Noa literally used Shawn for money, housing and Sex. KNOWING that she wasn’t in love with him and was actively cheating on him (while lying and pretending to let him think she loved him). So maybe not in a way. They both technically consented. BUT that consent was explicitly taken under false pretenses and lies. You better know Shawn would not have had sex if he knew literally everything Noa was doing and lying about.

Like. It’s a horrible double standard. Because if a Man did this to a women you know people would be all over it. Like for a show that’s so amazing in showing r*pe and surviving and dealing with it and how women have to go through things like this all the time. You’d think they would have given a shit when the same horrible things happen to men.

Also literally what was the entire point of Noa and Jen’s relationship. The only thing that came out of it was Jen teaching Noa to Hotwire a car. (Which like. I swear to god this show is trying to glorify breaking the law like that. Like your telling me the ONLY WAY they could have gotten to the church fast enough was through hijacking another persons car 😭. What about ASH?! Who was dropped from this episode like a damn hot potato. Mouse could have called him and you bet he would have sped up as soon as damn possible to drive them!!!)

Also so random. But like. These girls are all sophomores right? How do they all know how to drive?! How do they all have their license? You only took drivers ed in like sophomore year so how is it they all have their licenses? The timing literally doesn’t add up.

Also was Jen showing noa how to Hotwire a car supposed to be attractive? That’s the last we hear from her and it just? Literally reminds us all what a trash being she is. Like why 😭.

Tabby’s test.

okay but I genuinely hated this. It was such a let down from what I thought it was gonna be. Although I am proud I got the whole religious connection thing right. The kneeling DID come into play.

but like… they put Tabby in that confessional thing and what? Just awkwardly waited there? What if she didn’t have the strength to break it down. 💀. Also there was 0 damn test. If she was stuck in their nothing would have happened.

also ROSE FUCKING WATERS WTF?!? Like damnnnn awesome gory twist but also? Plot relevance at all??? There was 0 point to doing that. And also LITERALLY THEY NEVER COME BACK TO HER?!?? Like HELP. Being skinned is excruciating but it’s also not enough to kill you. It’s only the top layer of skin you have muscles and a bunch of shit that still holds you in place. And since it was the face there was no major arteries cut. She should definitely have been bleeding more considering the lack of bandages. But also she definitely would have still been alive. The cuts weren’t deep enough to kill. Just remove the outer layer of skin. Like when you take a really hard fall you can rip the top layer of skin off but you don’t die. And another gruesome example. A person can be scalped. But it wouldn’t kill them.

So that was another plot hole. And there was literally 0 reason for Wes and Mrs. Langsbary to do that to her. Especially with Langsbary being a fellow grieving mother. Wouldn’t she sympathize???

But yeah. Back to tabby’s shitty test. All that jazz and what? It’s just to get a false confession? They don’t even hurt her? They’re like ‘Lie or ELSE!’ 💀. But then they don’t do anything besides like. Show that their outside her moms house. Like Wes kept saying they’d do it ‘the hard way’ and then literally stopped BR from actually harming Tabby. And then they also say they’re just gonna kill her at the end too. So like. Why would Tabby do anything for them 🥴 if their gonna kill her either way.

Also i genuinely hate who the villains were. Like. Mrs. Lansbury? The LEAST SHOWN character the entire season? We saw her like three times. And she’s so on the nose it’s stupid. Like her entire thing was supposed to be hatred on Imogen and Tabby.

so WHAT THE FUCK was her beef with Mouse Faran and Noa? Literally NOTHING. She was a HORRIBLE villian. And Wes?? Spontaneously being a psychopath?????

He could have just stayed at the Orpheum. Literally him leaving suddenly made him all the more suspicious. And he didn’t need to do the full apology to Tabby if he was just gonna be like PSYCH JK!

Although, I am laughing hysterically at the irony. Hes doing this whole thing cause he thinks it’s so hard to be a straight white man but he literally needs Tabby to be the star of his movie for it to work. 💀

Also I feel like the Wes x Lansbury thing was so stupid and un needed. Like. Literally NO ONE would have guessed that. And it added 0 plot. It would have been the exact same vibe if they were just friends. And it’s such a random pairing too that no one would have guessed it at all. Which. Makes it kinda annoying. Like. You gotta be able to make a connection somewhere and they really just didn’t.

Also!

Wes ‘All the exits are blocked!!!’

Tabby : immediately after literally runs through the frail glass window.

Wes ‘I was HOPING she’d do that!’

WHAT?!? If you were hoping she’d do that then you should have posted a goon outside the damn window 😭.

Also who was the sacrafice??? The reckoning was? Literally just killing tabby? Or what? This whole build up for what??? All the girls survived. The movie failed. and something that’s killing me

WHO WAS THE FUCKING ARCHANGEL??? Why did they have that on the poster if there was no third person.

How the fuck was the church involved in this. What was the entire point of their weird little cult if they just killed the pastor and didn’t recruit any of the church goers for the event. The entire church plot was USELESS. And even the Pastor and Mama Beasley were talking about the Reckoning. But what did they think it was gonna be??? Not a rent a church for a murder spree HUH?!

Literally who were the people even worshipping in that weird circle cult? What was the weird mystical powers that kept taking over everyone? What made it so addicting and caused people to become literal shells of their former selves?? None of that’s explained? You can’t tell me it was just god or Jesus or something???

No and literally WHAT was the point of Hell house??? How did they even know all those intricate things about the girls if it wasn’t connected to someone who knew them like that.

WHAT was Mrs. Beasley doing to Kelly?! I truly feel for my girl and I genuinely want the best for her. But i swear to god some CPS involving shit was happening in that prayer closet.

Also the girls just kinda rapidly forgave Kelly. I mean. Imogen went from ‘IM GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL 👹’ to ‘Omg we’re FGE besties 👯‍♀️💅✨’

And again. I want them all to be nice to Kelly and besties cause clearly she did all this shit because of her genuinely fucked up and traumatizing household. Her Dad was physically and mentally abusive. She was constantly overshadowed and criticized for not being her sister. Her sister is KILLED and (omg?? Didn’t she kill her dad??) her dad dies. Then her MOTHER becomes some super Tyrant Christian cultist leader who ALSO turns psychotic and mentally and physically abusive. Oh also Kelly was literally KILLED and revived. She needs some damn therapy.

Also also. What the hell did Mrs. Beasley accomplish with killing Kelly??? She didn’t even get a damn warning. It wasn’t even a test. Their wasn’t even a fated poster.

? was it jsut cause Kelly was digging around? Getting suspicious? She was suspicious of her MOM not Mrs. Lansbury???

Although honestly out of anything this season has made me radically ship Faran and Kelly. Like hell they both had the same boyfriend. And they have insane chemistry

Okay hmm. Ending. Tabby just KILLS Wes? That final confrontation was super weak and sudden. They definitely should have fought a little bit. Or something.

(also. Tabs. I love you. Self defense is awesome) but logically. The likelyhood of her defeating 4 grown men with minimal fighting and like 0 injuries is not logical. It was badass of course. She slayed. But considering size and strength difference (and the fact we haven’t seen her do any strength training like Faran has) makes it kinda goofy to see her just. Absolutely hand four men their ass on a gourmet platter. The logistics get thrown out the window.

OH AND??? We’re just gonna ignore the fact she KILLED Wes on a LIVE STREAM?!? I was waiting for the show to address that and they just didn’t. Like. She didn’t even do it off camera or anything. Wide shot you have Tabby running and impaling Wes with a Camera unprovoked. (I mean of course I know it’s not unprovoked. But In a court case a snooty lawyer would easily jump on the fact Wes didn’t make any motion of violence to her first)

like also it was a livestream. Someone would have noticed he’s dead and reported it? Something official would have happened??? I want Tabby absolutely ripping everyone to shreds in court. I want Faran to ACTUALLY use her Lawyer mother to help Tabby! Give us some more one on one girl time! That isn’t just Imogen and Tabby!

(but also. When will the writers realize we all just collectively want Tabogen to be canon like I swear to god their baiting us at this point did you see their last convo scene 😭)

speaking of that.

Tabby : I can’t wait to move forward and look to the future! A is totally dead!

A : On his way to murder Dr. Sullivan ‘Hehe so glad to still continue my original plan from season 1!’

Oh and DR SULLIVAN??? She had zero relation to Wes and Langsbury but they just spontaneously kidnapped her and shoved her in the cabin for no reason.

and come ON. A DOUBLE deepfake?? I loved her character but now she’s once again like secretly a jerk???

Also the liars all knew she was illegally recording them for her book why the hell would they go back to see her again. Like. They know she’s not BR but she definitely still committed a crime.

Also i actually hate how they killed her. Come on. On her knees begging to know if Archie killed Sebastian and not being told before she’s killed? That was actually the cruelest ever. And the most darkest kill honestly.

And yeah uh. That’s my reaction to the finale. I hate the ten million plot holes. Despise the villains. Love the actresses. And uh? Guess I want a third season! Cause they really need to get A off the streets and maybe we can finally have some dang answers. Also I need more time for Tabogen to be canon lol!

Sorry this was so long. I just had so many thoughts towards this episode

lol okay this was long I and I will answer as my points as I can, but the thing that jumped out at me was when you were talking about Faran and Kelly and Greg and my brain went, "Faran/Greg/Kelly" polycule? because.... I could see it. lol. I did also already take my ambien, so maybe that's helping. But that kinda makes sense?

Okay, here are my thoughts in response to everything.

I didn't hate the finale. Overall, I had a fun time watching it, which is basically what I'm here for, but I do agree that there's a TON of stuff that just doesn't add up or make sense and could have been done way better.

Yeah, there was literally NO reason to put the girls in summer school? Like I actually can't think of one. They're never there. They all could have gotten their part time jobs. They would all still be going to therapy presumably. It just doesn't have to be a plot point??

The way they handled Noa, Jen, and Shawn this season will never make sense to me. It was so obvious how every writing choice they made would make more and more people annoyed/upset at Noa and Jen. It's like they thought Noa was so popular she could get away with any behavior this season. But Noa was so popular because people liked how she handled the conflict in her life (rationally, but with a sense of humor), which is the opposite of what happened here. And then none of it even mattered. Exhausting.

And I hear your point about the show not handling consent well in this particular situation. Informed consent is important, and Shawn never got the chance (because he was not informed) give (or not give) that. And that's shitty. And that shouldn't have happened to him.

I hear you about the plot holes. I have guesses on a few, but a lot of them I've got nothing.

I do think the 3rd figure in the poster is Chip, it's just that the ghost of his life is the motivation for Rose. When Tabby & Imogen visit her earlier in the episode, she shows them a picture where Chip has wings and a halo.

But here's the big one, WES ISN'T EVEN DEAD!! I totally missed this when I watched the episode, but I went back and checked and Dr. Sullivan says "Mrs. Langsberry and Wes have been arrested." gshjgfhjsdgfhjs How is he not dead???

I definitely hear and share a lot of your frustration. I had a good time, but there are a lot of things that I think either need to be addressed in season 3 or were just flat out plotholes, and I do think too many character arcs were rushed (like Kelly) and yeah. It was a lot.

#ask #answered #mr-walkingrainbow #pll #pll summer school #pll os #pll os summer school #pretty little liars #pretty little liars summer school #pretty little liars original sin #pll spoilers #pll summer school spoilers #pll os spoilers #pll os summer school spoilers #pretty little liars spoilers #pretty little liars summer school spoilers #pretty little liars original sin spoilers #long post

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dangermousie · 2 years

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El Internado 6x09

1. This is going to sound mean and I don’t mean it to, but Caro is much more to Marcos’ specs as a reason for fighting and a cause for vengeance than a flesh and blood girlfriend. I don’t mean he doesn’t mourn her, he obviously does, but Marcos, like his uncle Hector, is not a world well lost for love type - for him it’s family then ideals and only then romance.

Also, Marcos and Caro were not on the same page for most of the show - their timing never clicked which is realistic enough but once again mitigates against earth-shaking love. I find it so interesting that the original OTP, Marcos-Caro, and the original love trangle Marcos-Caro-Ivan, was the one thing that never worked about the show and character interactions. To the makers’ credit, they figured that out pretty early, exited Ivan from it, and put any Marcos x Caro stuff firmly in the background. The thing is - the actors had zero chemistry together. Like there is this epic flashback that is supposed to be peak romance and I am eyeing candles in the background.

And I think by the end the writers more than knew it which is why they never bothered to do anything much with Marcos x Caro post early s2. I mean the above scene is the most romantic scene we get with them and it’s in flashback after Caro is dead! Contrast with Ivan x Julia, which was clearly not initially planned in any way but they saw the dynamite they had and ran with it.

2. I found it pretty telling that when Noiret was threatening all their loved ones to keep them quiet, he left Julia out. She doesn’t have anyone she cares outside the gang. But also, he continues to be father of the year.

And then when he finds out he and Lucia have a son:

Noiret is one of those people who should never ever adopt. He’s had Ivan since Ivan was a day old and he still views him as an alien. He doesn’t know this kid at all, but it’s his blood so he’s all “mine!!!!” Noiret would always be an abuser - he loved his wife insofar as he was able and he still killed her - but however bad a parent he’d have been to his bio kid, there wouldn’t be such genuine void of any caring the way he has with Ivan.

3. Those two at each other’s throats is kinda hilarious to me.

And later...

4. Hi there Amaia, the Nazi bitch!

5. I have a huge soft spot for Martin x Rebecca, a single dad x super agent. Martin stealing his son because the mom was gonna take him to a different hemisphere is not cool but on the scale of all the murdery teachers in Murder School, he’s positively a saint.

6. Blanca Suarez really has chemistry with anyone. Here she is with Ruben. Honestly, Julia has so much warmth and caring...I love it.

Too bad he’s working for the bad guys...those arms are delicious!

7. Fermin! AAAAA FERMIN!!!! He is just the best and who Maria deserved and just - I didn’t care about Caro’s death on either watch but knowing Fermin’s ending is killing me.

8. I am incredibly amused that for some reason Ivan angsting requires him be unclad and sweaty in a lengthy montage...

We see you, makers!

#mousie rewatches el internado #el internado #spanish tv

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sanssouci-sims · 1 year

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Meet the Goths!! 🖤

Yes, that’s Bella, and... a dead Mortimer.

So yeaaaaaaah, Mort’s dead, along with like, a handful of my other townies (mentioned in a previous post of mine). But Bella doesn’t mind, because with the power of Teleport Any Sim communicating with the dead (because come on, her last name is Goth), I imagine she can just call forth his spirit and interact with him like the good old days. However, as he seems to no longer recognize her as his wife (although she does still consider him a “romantic interest”), it’s up to Bella to build their relationship back up so she can help him remember everything. Hopefully, he’ll be added to their household in the future!!

As for their kids, here’s what’s been up with them:

Here comes Cassandra now! She’s just come back from work as a manual laborer... despite having the “lazy” trait, no joke. She used to be an adult, but I’ve aged her down to a young adult, and... wait, who are those other people??

Yeah, just like Katrina Caliente and the Landgraabs from my cursed Caliente-Landgraab family (see link above), Bella and Mortimer got busy.

The girl in the green sweater is Cassandra’s younger sister, Larissa! She’s seen here with their other sister, Isabel. They’re both young adults like Cass, but they were just kids when they moved with their older sister to this new place (mostly because their parents were having way too many kids back at Ophelia Villa, their original home). The infants are actually Larissa’s adopted daughters (yes, yet another sim who can’t stop having/adopting kids...)! The one with the green outfit being held by Isabel is named Josephine, and the one with the cute buns looking sad is Rebecca. I imagine Isabel likes playing auntie and enjoys helping her sister take care of her babies, considering she intentionally, mind you has her hands full. Also, both babies seem to really struggle with being put down. They literally cry the second they’re on the ground and complain like Karens over how DARE their adoptive mothers not carry them anymore. 😤

Isabel has an adopted daughter of her own named Kristyn.

Oh, and did I mention she’s ass at cooking!?

And I’ve already talked about her in my previous post about the Caliente-Landgraab family, but newborn Fernanda - the youngest member of this household - is Cassandra’s daughter with Gideon Landgraab (a non-canonical townie).

Now then, onto Cass’s little brother, Alexander-

Actually, the less said about him, the better... *cringes* He hasn’t went and fathered any kids yet though, so I guess that’s the only good thing he’s got going for him.

Let’s head back to Ophelia Villa for a second, because Bella has some kids of her own living with her (probably to fill the voids that Cassandra and Alexander - and by extension Mortimer - left behind)!

From left to right, we have Jena, Dominik (with the curly black hair and bangs being blocked with the flower), Aron (black sweater), Jody (in the front with the brown hair facing away from us), and Kasey (grey shirt)! Kasey’s age meter bar thingy is actually full and glowing, so it seems like he will become a teenager soon!! Dominik, Aron, and Kasey were actually fathered by Mortimer (with Bella before he kicked the bucket) while Jena and Jody were adopted by Bella after he died.

Finally, we have these two, who Bella also had with Mortimer before he died (also I haven’t put them anywhere in my world though because honestly I’m lazy and I literally don’t even care about them lmao). On the left with the bad hairdo is Jaiden while the guy on the right is Tim. Honestly, I think in hindsight it’s a good thing they’re “currently not in world” because they’re hot messes; Jaiden’s an evil kleptomaniac while Tim is lazy and hates children (now that I think about it, Jaiden was probably the first to move out while Tim quickly followed him because his siblings are children 😂).

So overall, my Goth family isn’t as cursed as my Caliente-Landgraab dynasty, but they’re still kinda wildin. Let’s just hope Bella can bring ghost Mortimer back into her life.

#the sims 4 #yet another cursed sim family i have #along with the caliente-landgraabs #the sims 4 community #simblr #sims 4 #the sims 4 screenshots #the sims 4 screenies #the sims 4 storytelling #the sims 4 townies #waaaa so many of my og townies are dying :'''(#god why did alexander grow up to be so ugly #he was so cute as a kid T_T #maddy's townies

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supercriminalbean · 2 years

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Things that made me insane during criminal minds evolution:

Written while I watched so enjoy my bumbling mess. Spoiler alert of course.

Episode 6:

The way Garcia runs out of the room to check the video link and Rossi is so close on her tail has my heart pounding.

I'm scared.

JJ alive yay I mean we knew that but still.

Oh come on, Garcia is so in love with Luke I just know it, taking back every teasing comment she's made oh please.

I don't know but the Wheels up scene felt so cringe I'm sorry. I like wheels up but I dunno no.

The jet looks weird I don't like it. I miss the old one

LUKE SHE FOUND LUKE! YAY.

The unsub is right there that fucker!

I like Elias I think he's a really nice change of unsub, I like it.

I feel bad for him, his inner child needs healing.

Like I'm glad JJ & Luke are good but like we wanted so long just for them to be mildly brusied seriously.

Or is it going to be like they faint or collapse later on sue to injuries?

JJ is pissed, ahhh I wanna hug her.

No one even bothered to comfort her like bitch she almost die show her something

Emily she use to be your best friend why you just hugging Luke ugh.

The way Tara and Rossi both reached for JJ as soon as she started walking 😭🥰

Even tho JJ kinda reached for Dave first annoyed me just putting that there, no one looks out for her because she looks out for everyone this season.

I really want a Will phone call.

Oh no Benjamin dead. Lol.

I hope Elias killed the guy who hurt him.

Aww poor Tyler.

Garcia and Tyler scare me

I do not like the jet! I want the old one back!

Tyler and Penelope looks and smes at each other make me feel uncomfortable. Like if Luke didn't exist. Enemies to lovers 😍

But Luke exist and I want my babies to date. GARVEZ!

Okay but Garcia hugging the hell outta Luke and JJ. YESSS

JJ face when she could relax in her hug warmed me so much.

Even Luke should be rephased as especially Luke, by the way Penelope.

If something happened to Will and JJ I don't think I will be albe to handle it.

I love JJ so much.

Garcia. NO. Do not bring him to your place.

Tyler Green is such a cute drunk.

Thoes two could be honstely the best of best friends. They remind me of me and my friend.

Rebecca and Tara I can not handle this. 💔💔💔😭😭

Garcia wanting gossip is so me.

Tara is also me.

Tara talking is making me 😍🥺🥺

Also the look Emily gave her VS the look Luke gave her when they heard a nosie.

ARE YOU KINDING ME SHE NAME HER CAT THE BLACK QUEEN!?!

Luke teasing her.

Tyler brought her tea aww.

What did she say about his face. So similar to when she insult Luke's face in the past just sayingggg.

Tyler opening up is so cuteee aww Garcia yesss therpy with you two is. Noo my heart is liking this Nope no no.

WHAT THE FUCK THEY ALMOST KISS.

YES GARCIA YOU USED YOUR BRAIN AND STOPPED IT GOOD.

MAYBE YOU WILL USE IT AND REALZIE YOU LOVE LUKE!?!

Kill him baby KILL HIM!

NO don't stop😭

Wait are we gonna kill him now?

WHAT THE FUCK!

Yes I screamed yes I scared my cat yes I got in trouble. No I'm not sorry.

I am kinda proud of Garcia tho her smile is cute but fuck off you bitch.

Tyler Green was so shock and omg his little face.

My heart is breaking breaking for Luke.

Rossi I blame you, you dick face.

Tara and Rebecca please don't break up please don't I can not handle that right now.

Please tell me they will get back together...please.

Oh Emily good news doesn't exist around here.

Why does Luke look happy when she says she was on a walk with someone, oh its fake happniess.. Hey JJ has that oh so knowing look on her face.

Luke just seem like he didn't want to listen to her and um that kinda hurts me.

It's okay Rossi to her side yay thank you papa pasta.

Father by day serial killer by night. Hottest thing ever. I will not apologize for my issues.

Son of a bitch 😍 thank you Dave I needed that after Garcia hurt me.

Ugh he's alive. Gross.

I hope the uncle dies painfully.

Wait..how did his parents die I wonder?

The uncle better be scared son of a bitch.

I hope it hurts,it might not but I hope it does.

Family is definitely what gets you killed.

I low-key hope Elias family never finds out it would hurt them. Poor babies.

#criminal minds #david rossi #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jj #luke alvez #tara lewis #penelope garcia #tyler green #garvez hurts me so bad right now fuck this owwww #why you gotta break my soul like this you fucker #JJ is going to die this season and for that im not ready its going to hurt like a bitch #will lamontagne is my dream man i love him i want one

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masonscig · 3 years

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antidote

pairing | mason x sofía

word count | 2.4k

warnings | mention of rook’s death and breaking her wrist when she was a kid, so you know. a little angst. some suggestive language towards the end!

author’s note | so this is my late entry for day one of warm in wayhaven, cooking – as usual when i’m writing these two i can’t shut up for the life of me

•─────────────────•

He wakes up from his first nap in a week to the smell of chicken.

There’s only one person in the entire warehouse that could be cooking at 2 in the morning without burning the place down.

He trods barefoot down the dark hallway, his sweatpants hung low off his hips.

Putting on pants was a formality, really. But he had roommates that’d have aneurysms over anything less, so he’s usually at least half clothed when he ventures outside of his room.

The smell gets a lot stronger, mixes with other scents the closer he gets.

Her heartbeat’s stronger in his ears, though, so he keeps going, despite the way his nose is crinkled and his fists are clenched.

When he makes his way to the kitchen, he stops at the doorway, perching his hip against the frame.

She’s pulled a chair up to the stove, chin balanced on her knees that are up against her chest.

Her eyes are glued to the big silver pot that sits there, steam leaking out from the ventilation tiny holes in the lid.

Her hair’s tossed up in a messy bun, and from the glimmer of light from the overhead light above the stove, he can see that a few strands are plastered to the back of her neck and forehead.

She reaches out to twist the knob all the way to the left, then struggles to pick the pot up.

Despite him not announcing himself, he’s next to her in a flash, moving the pot to the other burner in a flash.

“Oh, hey,” she murmurs distractedly. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Nah.”

She nods, barely even giving him a second glance, grabbing the lid and placing it on the counter.

The steam threatens to curl higher and higher, but with a quick flip of a switch, the stove’s fan is pulling it into its vents.

There’s something definitely wrong with her – she’ll bake cupcakes for an elementary school bake sale at 2 a.m., but never soup. Who the fuck makes soup in the dead of night?

“I’m not an expert on human food by any means,” he starts, grimacing at the way the scent wafts towards him when she swirls the wooden spoon through the broth. “But why the hell are you making soup when it’s hot as fuck outside?”

She shrugs, dipping the spoon flat against the surface of the hot broth, filling it to the brim. “I was hungry.”

She brings it to her mouth, lips pursed, and blows on it, thin tendrils of steam floating towards him.

He’s still trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with her when she sips it, a small tired smile blooming across her features.

The soft breathy hum that buzzes from her throat is low enough for both of them to hear, nearly matching the pitch of the whirring fan.

He doesn’t wanna press his luck with her, considering they're being civil.

It’d been a week since they were ambushed and she came face to face with her attempted kidnapper.

Things between Mason and Sofía were already… complicated, to say the least.

Different attitudes, different wants, different needs. He’d managed to fail in all three of those categories, disappointing her over and over without really trying to.

There was a certain level of avoidance from the both of them for the days following the ambushing. It’s not that he wanted to get her alone nor he did he care if she was avoiding him, but this was the first time he’d been alone with her all week, so he wasn’t going to actively try to fuck this up.

“That’s it?” he asked, keeping it simple.

She ignores him, instead flitting around the kitchen to grab a bowl and a spoon.

Well, she’d be amicable if she kept quiet – she wasn’t wrong with that one.

He watches as she fishes out sliced vegetables, an ear of corn, and chicken, then fills the bowl to the brim with broth.

Setting it on the table, she grabs a stained tortilla warmer from the microwave and scoots up to her bowl, digging in with one hand, a tortilla rolled in the other.

She’s still sweating under the heat, her chest glistening, the seams of her tattered tank damp underneath her armpits.

He sinks into the chair across from her, arms crossed.

“You gonna keep ignoring me?”

“Maybe,” she says from behind her hand (and around a mouthful of veggies).

“Tell me to leave, then, and I’ll go. Just say the word, sweetheart.”

He knows she won’t.

She lifts her eyes from the bowl to meet his own lazy gaze. Without saying another word, she dunks her rolled tortilla in the broth and takes a bite.

“That’s what I thought. You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“You’re not that invested in my life outside of work, are you?” She challenges, mashing the back of her spoon against a vegetable until it’s smooth, scooping it up with a little broth and popping it into her mouth.

He shrugs. “I just know you’re lying, that’s all.”

“You lie all the time,” she counters immediately, pointing the tip of the spoon at him.

“When?” He knows she’s right, but she hasn’t brought it up since she stormed away from him outside of the warehouse, drenched and shivering.

“You lied at the bakery.”

Bingo.

He leans forward till his elbows are on the table, resting his chin on the back of his interlaced fingers.

“So that’s what you’re upset about.”

He’s a foot away from her, the temptation of closing the gap between them nearly tugging his shoulders forward.

Her face contorts into a grimace, bordering on disgust. “That’s not at the forefront of my mind, no.”

She swirls her spoon around the bowl, eyes following the movements of her wrist.

“I hate the summer. I always have.”

He stifles a wince as he leans back until his bare back presses against the cool plastic.

“Bad things always happen to me in the summer, you know? Dad died during the summer. Mom forgot to pick me up at science camp for a full twenty-four hours when I was 9, and I had to spend a whole day alone with no friends after everyone had gone home. That’s also the same summer she took her first month-long assignment.

“The next summer, they extended it from a month to a full summer. I broke my wrist on my neighbor’s trampoline, and she didn’t even visit me until my cast was getting sawed off.

“Bobby dumped me for the first time during the summer before he studied abroad so he could sleep with whoever he wanted.”

She shakes her head, dropping the spoon and tortilla.

“Sorry, I, uh, I’m just happier in the fall and winter,” she smiles apologetically.

“And that’s why you’re makin’ soup at 2 a.m.?” He asks, eyeing her warily.

“Yeah, kinda. It sounds stupid when you put it like that, really,” she giggles, scooting the bowl forward so she can rest her elbows there too, her chin in her hands.

A sigh escapes her, low and grim. “This dish is really special to me.”

He waits for her to continue, but she just sinks her teeth into her bottom lip instead, chewing nervously at the skin there.

He kicks his toe against her slipper clad foot, a gentle nudge to get her to speak.

He’s gotten pretty good at reassuring her without words, he thinks. Better than when they first met, that’s for damn sure.

“My favorite picture of my dad and I is one where I’m sitting at my high chair and I barely have two teeth in my mouth and my dad is feeding me mashed zucchini and yucca root. He’s laughing and smiling like he wouldn’t rather be doing anything else in the entire world than eating soup with his daughter.”

Mason stiffens at the mention of her father, and even worse so, feels remorse start to trickle into his bones.

It’s stupid to think he could’ve done anything. He pushes those thoughts to the side, recognizing the remaining scrappy morsels of humanity in him clawing its way to the surface. Impulse has always been the most human part of him – maybe she’s changing that.

He doesn’t really know who he was before this, but what he does know is any inkling of humanity he has surfaces when he’s with her.

Yeah, he can’t feel what it’s like to lose a parent, but watching Sofía tear up over bittersweet memories was enough on its own.

“Your dad cooked?”

“Yeah, from what I can remember, yeah. All of our old cookbooks are in his and my abuela’s handwriting.”

She looks like she wanted to say something more, so he leans back, arms across his chest, waiting.

“When I was in high school, I tried making it on my own and it was so shitty. I wanted to surprise Rebecca, because I knew she was getting back from a stressful work trip, and I couldn’t do it like he did. She didn’t even notice that I’d tried,” she sighs, picking up her spoon again to sip the broth.

She hums again, chews, swallows.

“I don’t know why I was so naive back then, you know? I thought I could chop a couple veggies and toss them into seasoned water and it’d turn out just like Dad made it.

“In reality, I didn’t even know what it tasted like. My mom described the taste to me once before, but she never cooked, so I just went off of what she told me. I romanticized the whole thing right down to making up the flavor in my own head.”

“That’s probably why I made the soup tonight. I miss when I was happy, but even then, what the fuck did that even look like to me? I’m just telling myself I was happy because I saw photos of me being happy, but I can’t recall that feeling by memory at all.”

She darts a hand under her eyes to rub it away before he notices, but he can see her eyes glistening.

“How am I homesick for a life that was never really great to begin with, you know?”

He leans forward, brows furrowed. “It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember. Fuck those old memories. Make new ones.”

He’s speaking from the heart now, compelled to say something before his mind can stop him.

Chuckling with a quick sniffle, she gets up to grab a drink from the fridge. “I know you mean well, but it’s hard when you’ve got an active bounty on your head.”

“Things will get better.” He’s not a beacon of positivity in the slightest, but she’s too good to be feeling this bad, so he has to say something.

“Things can get better.”

“What?”

“It’s not guaranteed. Not for me, at least. Probability’s never worked out in my favor,” she smiles weakly, unscrewing the cap to the water and sipping it politely.

“You’ve got a team making sure things will get better, sweetheart. No matter what.”

“You’re all here by force, though. After you leave, I’m still gonna be stuck here, and –”

She waves her free hand, the other one gripping the damp water bottle.

“I’m sorry. I’m just tired. I’ll be less of a mess in the morning.”

“Not all of us,” he says, delayed, but hoping she gets it.

“Not all of us what?”

“Are here by force.”

She grips the bottle harder, the plastic crackling. She knows what he means now.

“That’s… uh, good to know,” she murmurs, a smile tugging at her features. “Thanks.”

“Didn’t do anything to warrant a thanks.”

She rolls her eyes, sitting back down at the table. “You’re gonna have to get used to my manners, Mason.”

“Never,” he smirks, leaning over the table, over the soup, running his thumb over her bottom lip before standing.

“You don’t like it because you don’t have any.”

He snorts, a hearty laugh ripping out of his vocal cords and echoing off the tile flooring. “Damn right.”

She smiles, too, this time though with her whole body. It’s dim in the kitchen, but she’s shining nonetheless.

The smell’s grown on him a little bit. The shit honestly reeks, but he doesn’t mind it.

He follows her when she makes her way to the cabinets underneath the countertops, retrieving a big glass bowl.

When she bends down, he tentatively steps behind her, leaving a hair’s width space between them. He’s hesitating to touch her, even as she glances back at him reassuringly and closes the gap between his stomach and her back.

The hum that leaves her this time as he hooks a lazy arm around her waist sounds just like the one she let out when she tasted the soup.

She gently guides his hands to grip the edges of the bowl while she pulls the pot closer.

“So what’s this shit called?” He asks, crinkling his nose as she ladles it in, grimacing when some splashes his hand.

He knows he’s there for something, but he can’t quite remember what for when she licks the stray drops from his thumb.

“Caldo de pollo,” she smiles, snapping the plastic top until it’s airtight, guiding him to the fridge.

He knows “pollo” is Spanish from the times Felix watched kids shows to pick up on English. (He could never quite shake the looping sound byte of Felix’s southern drawl saying “poy-yo” when he discovered Dora the Explorer.)

“You gotta make it for Nate sometime,” he suggests, wrapping his other arm around her waist when she closes the fridge door.

She turns in his grasp, splaying her hands on his bare chest, dragging her thumbs over the tuft of hair in the middle of it.

“Thank you, really,” she whispers, eyes trained on her moving hands. “I mean it.”

He’s shit at accepting thanks with words, so instead he kisses her. He fights the urge to deepen it, to open his mouth to taste her.

She’s not ready to let him in like that just yet. He thinks it’s enough that she’s letting him touch her at least.

The lingering taste of chicken is disgusting, but he’s enduring it, because Sofía’s humming like he’s the best thing she’s tasted in years.

#the wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc mason #twc detective #wayhavensummer #mason x sofía #detective sofía olmos #my fic

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brittie-frog · 4 years

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Haunting of Bly Manor

Right.

I love horror and after spending sometimes days watching video essays on gay history, specifically in (horror) movies and film, I now kinda understand why so with the Haunting series and its gay rep and them not being the villain of the story, I loved it.

(Quick note I have only rewatched the show twice and can only take from my own experience of media)

My phone also knows me so will suggest news stories on things I've recently watched or current murder cases. So it suggested me this story today:

I went in open minded knowing that some people were angry about the ending falling into the 'kill the gays' trope (which I will come back to).

At first it was fine, talking about the ghost story/love story comment and how it relates to the show and has good analysis that I agree with. Then it goes on to basically summarise the show.

It keeps mentioning that all the gay subtext is implied:

why Dani broke up with her fiance

why Jaimie is reluctant to be vulnerable with Dani (before the monologue)

And that there needs to be a “lot of filling in between the lines” to understand their romance despite their practically constant flirting (Jaimie's 'Poppins' for Dani is the cutest nickname) and multiple kissing scenes. However, I digress, it can be sometimes hard to understand certain attitudes to each other at the beginning.

It also states that its like they want on the pat on the back for "making them queer, without making anything about them very queer". I don't know what this means, but I took two interpretations:

That not all queer people need to stereotypically look queer to be and that is a step forward for gay rep (I prefer)

That the creator wants to be celebrated for making gay rep without truely showing their queerness (which I think is pretty false)

Then it talks about the fireside chat and Jaimie's backstory, describing the monologue as "shoehorned" into the scene and "devoid of any mention of her sexuality". This is where the first part of my 10 minute research for context comes in. This is set in 1987 in a small town in England with an American. In charge of England at the time was the famously homophobic Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher that implemented Clause 28. No one in this setting and right mind - especially after being ridiculed for most of her life - would come out to any one, flirting or not, that they have known for at most a month or two. Also, this entire scene resolves around Jaimie's attitudes towards people, and why she's reluctant to get close to people, favouring taking care of her flowers over interacting with others.

Then it talks about Owen and Mrs. Grose having "more meaningful screen time and backstories that continue throughout multiple episodes".

First Hannah. We basically get Hannah's entire backstory in episode 5: how she met Owen, scenes of her working at the Manor (in non-chronological order) and how she died in the first episode. Then that continued into the final episode when she finally comes to terms with her death and her love for Owen to save everyone. We don't actually get much backstory in the way of her childhood or even how she met the family (from what I remember, correct me if I'm wrong).

Now Owen. His backstory is that he grew up in Bly, left to go to France and became a Sous Chef, only coming back because his mum got diagnosed with dementia and he needed to take care of her despite her constantly mistaking him for other people. That is also only explored through Hannah's memories of the interview and the bonfire-side chat.

Those are both sad backstories but you can't call them any more or less meaningful than Jaimie's of in depth about how her and her family were ridiculed and bullied throughout her life and even spent time in juvie. They all have points mentioned in their stories that I would love more indepth on: how Hannah met the family/met Sam, either Owen's childhood in Bly or his time in France and why Jaimie spent time in juvie. But I also realise this is a short series that has to make fleshed out characters and tell an entire story in 8 episodes.

The article then talks about how even the ghosts got an entire episode to themselves when they barely show up. If you look in the background of the majority of scenes you'll see them and personally I really enjoy getting their stories of how they died. However, that episode is about more than just finding out about the ghosts and Viola's life, it’s mainly about what led to her being the first ghost and causing other dead people to stay as ghosts and the origin of those specific words that give a ghost access to an alive person’s body, to help explain the majority of the show. If I showed my friend this show and removed that episode I would have more questions asked than when my mum finished it.

Now I don’t know what to say. I agree there is no law on art so it can be anything and I usually think that the haunting series are in a slightly different universe (it’s how sleep at night knowing that someone can’t be so stubborn they become a murdering ghost) but also yes, trans-roles should be given to trans people more often. However they are actors and their job is to play some they aren’t for entertainment so for the most part I agree with Scarlett about being able to play anything. Also yes the self-congratulatory approach after playing an LGBT+ character when you’re cishet is kinda bad unless you have the full support of the community telling you it was a good portrayal and accurate representation. It won’t be enough for minorities if our representation, that people outside the communities are calling great, are just surface level characters that are just there for tokenism but you can’t compare Bly Manor characters to those types of characters. All of them have so much development and are well done that the majority of the community that has watched the show have no problem with and love their representation.

Personally I love both Theo Crain and Jaimie and Dani because they represent different things. Theo Crain is on a basic level. as a lothario, a stereotypical butch lesbian, constantly hooking up and struggles to actually open up and love people. Dani and Jaimie are soft, domestic cottage core lesbians in a flower shop AU. This is not a bad thing and just because they have a “tepid romance” doesn’t mean it’s a step back. Also more context time:

As said before Thatcher was in charge and heavily homophobic, creating laws to stop people from teaching children about homosexuality since gay sex had been decriminalised recently

It was the middle of the AIDs epidemic. Dani was coming from a country that was doing nothing about the deaths of thousands and going to a country where hysteria about AIDs was rampant but they were doing more, like the ‘AIDs: don’t die of ignorance’ information leaflet despite it not being as huge with 46 deaths by 1984. (That assumes that the AIDs epidemic happened in this universe)

Dani clearly had some form of internalized homophobia before even coming to England because she spent so long with her fiance hoping to feel the way she’s supposed to (I think the ghost of him is her guilt and internalized issues personified as it constantly appears when she’s trying to move forward.)

Also in the final episode it shows that is probably at least some homophobia in America as they kiss in the shop then look outside and go to the back so no one can see. (This could be interpreted as seeing if anyone is planning on coming in so they can escape without having to stop early for customers but Jaimie had already changed the sign to closed.)

Now onto the ‘kill the gays’ trope. Yes this is a huge trope that is so damaging to the community that we’re constantly the ones killed off for views or when their tokenism is no longer important, that is fucked up! However this doesn’t mean that we should give every gay character plot armour, cause that’s also unrealistic, just to please the select few that will call it out as a damaging trope. There is huge difference between say, The 100 killing Lexa and Bly Manor killing Dani as one has plot relevance and brings the story to a close while the other enraged an entire generation so much they started a brand new convention to celebrate queer relationships/characters in media. It’s also not like she was the only one to die, it’s horror after all, Hannah, Rebecca and Peter, the parents and all those ghosts died or were already dead.

Like many of the comments on the article - If all you got from this show was it falls into kill the gays, you have completely missed the entire point of the show.

#bly manor netflix #haunting of bly manor #dani and jamie #just my thoughts #ramblings #this is a product of my frustration

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marybeatriceofmodena · 5 years

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TFW when you try to do Anastasia but you also suck at your job: A Master Class by The Rise of Skywalker

Okay. So, I promised you guys a TROS review, and it’s coming, I promise… except I’ll be making two “spin-off posts” about specific issues just in order to clear up some stuff, mainly because in my mind, those issues are important.

First post is going to be, of course, about Rey’s parentage.

So. After TFA, it would have been possible for Rey to have been the kid of “someone”. However, TLJ made it impossible to do so, unless you’d have some serious, bullshit retconning going on – which is exactly what happened.

I know this is a VERY controversial thing to say at this point, but post-TFA, Rey Palpatine “could” have been possible. Okay, maybe not have her be Palpatine’s granddaughter, but more of a descendant of his.

This said, I “tried” making an origin story for Rey Palpatine that “works” for the purposes of this meta, on a hypothetical basis, while making it consistent with canon (something JJ Abrams and Chris Terrio clearly couldn’t be bothered to do, LMAO). I had plotholes no matter what. I do think I could have eventually found something with a little bit of brainstorming, but truth is, IT’S HARD, and a lot of exposition would have been for novels/comics only.

From a thematic perspective, though? It wouldn’t have been a bad idea. For this to work, though, you would have needed to go on full-blown Romeo and Juliet mode with sprinkles of Anastasia, though. I mean, The Lion King 2 did something similar, so why the fuck not. Because, yeah, Ben Solo, the grandson of Darth Vader, son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, the last prince of Alderaan, who falls in love with the last Imperial princess Rey Palpatine while they’re on opposite sides of the war but not the ones you’d think of is the stuff of fairy tales and star-crossed romances, except this one would have a happy ending and brought peace to the galaxy.

Truth be told, I still really enjoy fanfics who go for that story and find a way to make it work in canonverse or in AUs – because it’s genuinely fun. But in canon itself, as I point out earlier… it’s not easy.

So, we have Rian Johnson who said he made a list of potential origins for Rey while he was working on TLJ’s script. You bet Rey Palpatine was on that list. However, he came to the conclusion that Rey Nobody was the best way to go, and whatdyaknow, he made the right call.

Why? Rey Nobody requires minimal exposition. Storytelling-wise, you don’t have a lot of brainstorming to do, and it’s easy to have Ben revealing it, and easy to present it as a repressed memory of Rey’s. On a thematic level, that puts Rey on the same level as Jane Eyre or the main character from Rebecca: she’s a nobody from nowhere who is thrown into a family drama, and since she’s the glitch in the matrix, she must stop the story from becoming a tragedy.

See? Simple. You got your easy exposition, you got your thematic coherence, and you got the literary call-backs.

So, JJ and Terrio decided to retcon this shit because, as they said, they thought it was boring. I think Colin Trevorrow probably thought it was boring too, because I have my reasons to think a lot of TROS is from him (but more on that in my main review). But thing is, it’s not it’s “boring”, it’s literally that they didn’t know what the fuck to do with Rey. No, more than that, they don’t understand her, and frankly, they can’t be bothered to do so. She’s an empty vessel they can toy with at their ease, and in the process, turn her in a Mary-Sue. Because yes, TROS!Rey was a Mary-Sue, whereas TFA/TLJ!Rey was not. So, what I say above regarding Rey might be a bomb for some, considering how people are (understandably) defensive when it comes to that statement. I promise I will elaborate more about it in the main review, once again.

So, with the lineage aspect addressed, it’s time to talk about Rey’s parents themselves.

It’s hilarious how HARD JJ and Terrio tried to make Kylo’s explanation work – because as much as they butchered the shit out of him, they said: “Well he’s a bad liar, right? Gotta keep that in mind.”

Although, I don’t think it was a case of them being concerned with Kylo’s characterization – they’re not that graceful. They had to figure out QUICK why the hell Kylo wouldn’t have known Rey was a Palpatine from the get-go, because the Force is a great DNA test and shit, and I guess that’s how Palps located Ben’s Mighty Skywalker Blood™. Except that still doesn’t work because Palps couldn’t even locate his own goddamn granddaughter, but I digress.

Seriously, why would Kylo lie to Rey about her being a nobody instead of her being a Palpatine? It makes no sense, because if you’re going to roll with the theory Kylo just wants UNLIMITED POWAH, the Palpatine princess is not only a great asset (since marrying her legitimizes your claim to the throne in the eyes of the Imperial Remnants, I mean, that’s literally why Henry VII married Elizabeth of York), it’s also the one argument she needs to hear in order to sway her to your side. So I guess JJ and Terrio’s one shared brain cell kinda flicked a bit at that moment.

This said, getting the Palpatine princess on his side is clearly Kylo’s intention in TROS (which, again, makes no sense with what was set up in TLJ but that’s something I’m keeping for another post), except they trip all over themselves by having Kylo say he didn’t lie to Rey in TLJ. Except…

So, what Ben said in TLJ was the following:

Her parents sold her for drinking money.

They’re dead and buried in a pauper’s grave somewhere on Jakku.

Rey is related to no one.

Here’s what Ben reveals to Rey in TROS:

Her parents sold her for her protection.

They died on another planet, while being hunted down by a guy working for Palpatine and instructed to bring Rey back to them.

Rey’s dad is a Palpatine and Rey’s mom is Villanelle (nah, for real: the actress who plays Rey’s mom is Jodie Comer).

So, um, yeah, it’s the EXACT opposite of what Ben said in TLJ. Just say Palps was fucking with Ben’s mind-reading or Rey’s memories instead, JJ. Not that “Oh Ben was telling the truth, but he didn’t have the whole story”, because that’s not it.

For the latter, once again, it would have been feasible: the one thing, for me, that was possible to be added was that Rey had killed her parents accidentally, by having their ship to leave Jakku crash down with the Force: that’s what made her Force powers go dormant for all those years and provoked her trauma. It would also make sense that Ben would willfully not bring that back to her memories, because she’d understandably not be able to cope with the truth, which is often what happens to a lot of trauma victims. THAT was the theory I had pre-TROS, because that’s the only answer I could come up with when it came to JJ saying that there was more to Rey’s past. I guess I expected JJ to be, like, actually able to write, lmao.

I even wonder if that was actually in the cards, considering we see Rey in TROS bringing down a transport that supposedly has Chewie in it… but I guess they deemed that to be “too dark” for their heroine. Except the bullshit that comes instead is actually… much worse.

To make things simple, I’ll just take the above points and develop them.

Rey’s parents sold her for her protection.

Okay, so, Rey’s parents need to hide her to make sure Palps doesn’t get his hands on her. Fair enough. This said, why did it have to be Jakku and not, like, ANYWHERE ELSE? Especially that Palpatine had interest in Jakku at some point and that maybe having Rey anywhere close to that place would not be a good idea?

But let’s play the game and say that Jakku is the only place they can hide her because… I don’t know, it’s hard to find someone there with the Force. Whatever. Even then, why the fuck would they think Unkar Plutt is a proper guardian for a tiny little girl? You know they could have walked a few miles more and found a nice old man who likes the Light Side of the Force and the Jedi and all that shit called Lor San Tekka? Hey, why not even try to find a guy like Luke Skywalker who’s like, a Jedi and shit, and have him take care of their little girl and protect her?

Even then, why the hell doesn’t Rey’s mom stay with her daughter? Her husband is the Palpatine, not her. All Rey’s mom has to do is find a nicer hiding place for her and Rey somewhere on Jakku, like, not Niima Outpost (again, Tuanul is just a few miles away), and just let Dad hide somewhere else. He’s a grownass man, he can take care of himself and he just has to hide on Nar Shaadaa or some shit. Fuck, why don’t all three of them hide on Nar Shaadaa? Or in the Coruscant undercity? ANYWHERE ELSE?

Also, wouldn’t Plutt clearly see two desperate parents as a business opportunity? Like, if you want to do a Les Misérables comparison here, he wouldn’t “buy” Rey from them, he’d try to get money for them à la Thénardier with Fantine. Except Rey’s parents make Fantine look like frigging Einstein because at least she had the excuse of thinking Madame Thénardier would take good care of Cosette since Éponine and Azelma seemed well-cared for.

Again, a creepy-looking alien who exploits the outpost’s inhabitants for portions in exchange for junk, who asks you to pay him to take care of your kid should be a big fucking red flag – unless you want to involve blackmail, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

Seriously, why the hell would Rey’s parents even ACCEPT money that comes from selling their own child? Were they really that desperate? Fuck, even if I had no other way of getting off Jakku, I wouldn’t even THINK of using money that comes from selling my own child. Any parent who’d even CONSIDER doing that is automatically a godawful parent in my book. Shame on you. And shame on JJ for trying to make me buy them as saints, because THEY’RE NOT, JUST BY THAT SINGLE ACTION.

They died on another planet, while being hunted down by a guy working for Palpatine and instructed to bring Rey back to them.

I didn’t notice it until Jenny Nicholson pointed it out in her TROS review, because it SOMEHOW completely escaped my notice, but… Rey’s mom saying Rey is DEFINITELY NOT on Jakku is like the worst fucking lie I’ve ever seen in a film because it’s so hilariously bad. Congratulations, Space Villanelle, may you be forever remembered for this line.

Also, it’s stupid af that Oshi (that’s his name, right? Can’t be bothered to Google it, might just call him Barney the Bounty Hunter from now on) just kills Rey’s parents, because HE’S EVUL MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA, because he literally creates a dead end for himself. He still has no fucking clue where Rey is, and he just killed off his only leads. CONGRATULATIONS BARNEY THE BOUNTY HUNTER, YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB.

Rey’s dad is a Palpatine and Rey’s mom is Villanelle.

So, Rey’s dad looks like he’s in his early thirties at most, right? Maybe a little younger than Luke and Leia, then. So, unless he got frozen in carbonite at some point, that means Palpatine fucked at some point while looking like this:

Anyway, I sure hope Sly Moore was Grandma Palpatine because she’s pretty much the only person who’d be game to smash raisin ass. Which leaves me with extremely disturbing pictures of Palps and Sly having sex, so I’ll spare you the more graphic details of my twisted mind that’s screaming for an end to this misery.

I sure hope having Rey’s mom as Jodie Comer isn’t a clue that we’ll get spin-offs with those two (GOD PLEASE NO), but while I crack jokes about how Rey’s mom is Villanelle and Palpadad kinda looks like Ramsay Bolton… I find it fucking hilarious they dressed Rey’s mom in BLUE. LIKE, SEE? SEE? SHE’S IN BLUE, LIKE THE VIRGIN MARY, BECAUSE REY IS SPACE JESUS!!!! GET IT??? GETIT???? PLEASE TELL ME YA GET IT, OKAY???? *gross sobbing* I knew we should have had Rey born in a manger, that would have made the artistic intentions clear *wipes tear*

All right. There’s a lot more that could be said about Rey’s lineage, but I’m keeping that for my main review because what’s left to say ties up to the bigger picture. What I tried to point out with this preliminary post is that while Rey Palpatine *could* have worked, in different circumstances, it couldn’t have had post-TLJ… and we’re left to see a mutilated horse who was dead on arrival. And that’s tragic.

#star wars #tros spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #rants and reviews #anti tros #rey #reylo #my meta #reylo meta #rey meta

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getreadytosmash · 4 years

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][All questions for the otp meme for Jen + Rhys!][

@blind-mutant

Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

Jen's favourite coffee place is the only place that has strong enough chairs to hold her weight and who puts far more caffeine into her drink than any Starbucks should allow. She's grateful for this, more so to the little barista who always stares with wide eyes and smiles brightly when she comes in. Jen can smell the crush (and admittedly lust) off him and he's cute, but she doesn't want to scare him off. And lose her coffee place.

Rhys? God, he wishes that he could see and write a phone number down at least. Jesus, he wishes that he wasn't a worker so he could ask her out. For a date or a fun night. Things change though when Rhys trips one day and goes face first into Jen's chest while spilling coffee all over her. He's upset and worried that he's hurt and embarrassed Jen, but she just reassures him that coffee can't burn her...and he can always take her out to help buy a new shirt along with some dinner to make up for it.

Highschool/College AU: Who is the straight-A student, and who’s the backrow slacker?

Jen tries hard. Like, really hard. She needs good grades to get into the top law school and even with the worries and strains of her home life, it becomes easier to get lost in her work than think about how her aunt is dead and how Bruce is still left without answers and how her family did nothing. So it's easier to get lost in work and to try and stay out of the way of parties. If only that annoying boy Rhys would drop it and leave.

Rhys...he knows that he's a stupid guy and that he's only here because a fancy college is better than being kept at home with parents that don't want you around. Jen is pretty, but most importantly, she's smart. Rhys keeps hoping that at some point she might offer tutoring, but she just...doesn't? He wants to try and ask for help but Rhys doesn't want to spill that he's a mutant, not to mention the fact that Jen...always looks a little scary when someone talks to her.

Rivals to loves AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

Rhys knows that he's part of the Brotherhood of Evil mutants and that means that anyone who isn't a mutant shouldn't be...well, he shouldn't feel attraction to them. But its HARD when said enemy is 7'5 and knocked the Blob out in one punch. God, Rhys can's survive this when he's faced with being lifted with ease and the moments where Jen flirts as she fights and teases him!

Even worse is the fact that Jen is fully aware of Rhys's little crush and likes to take full advantage of "Little Nighty". Most of the time it's to help win a fight and to not hurt Rhys, but maybe on occasion Jen flirts with honesty. Rhys is cute and yeah, he's a criminal but like, he's a cute and easy criminal!

Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

The world fears the hulks ever since every gamma mutate banded together against the world. If Krakoa could do it, then so could they. Jen loves finally being free with people just like her without any worry from humans or other heroes judging them all the time or worrying that the hulks will kill everyone in their rage. It's a good time, to simply just be with the others until Jen realises one day in an attack that other heroes have decided to turn on hulks too. Of course, some people have decided that it's easier to leave the human world and to join over with hulks instead.

Of course, Jen worries about that. Some humans don't survive being turned into hulks but if it's what they want...not many have specific gamma forms, but a particular mutant, Rhys, definitely stands out to her. He has big wars, dark skin and glowing eyes as he towers above mostly everyone. Samuel still complains about Rhys being a dumbass and letting anyone walk into that giant tuff of fur. But Jen still spares him a lot of sweet smiles and words.

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Rhys is...nervous about meeting his soulmate, but excited. He wouldn't have a soulmate that loved him, but he kinda at least wants to see what they're like. He isn't expecting the goddamn She-hulk to be bis apparent other half and boy oh boy does that send his heart into terrified palpitations. How can he be good for someone like her? He didn't even think it would be another woman and yet here he was, trading Blue for Green.

Jen's thrilled but worried herself about meeting the other half of her heart. She had always been worried about not being good enough and now she had to worry about being green or too freakish for someone. Rhys is small and cute and the rudest man she has met so of course Jen is purring, absolutely delighted that her soulmate is someone not creepy or someone who can't control her mind and feelings again. Rhys is shy but Jen is willing to wait and spoil him until he melts and accept that she wants him forvever.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

Lyra isn't technically her daughter. But Thundra had been interested enough in Jen that it was kinda a romance? Lyra doesn't exactly want a father anyway and that's how she ends up with a teenage hulk in her care. That still doesn't explain how Jen also ended up with her niece snarling and holding up a small man and something about thieving. Rhys didn't mean to get caught, but he isn't exactly arguing when Lyra's hot aunt comes to sigh and stop him from being killed.

Jen is...gosh, big lady who is protective of her niece? Is there a word for aunt milfs? Rhys definitely wants to try and uh, apologise to Jen for causing such a ruckus and really! He isn't always such a bad guy! Jen finds it pretty amusing and what the hell, agrees to go out with him while Lyra asks whether they just let criminals go now. Rhys has earned the joys of a big green woman adoring him but....he's going to suffer a LOT of shovel talks from a teenage hulk who doesn't understand the human world.

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

O K. Rhys,,,in the hospital the same time as when Jen first hulks out??? Baby boy nervous about being there and god, the giant green woman doesn't help-

Hold on.

Rhys needs to follow whatever the hells going on and, well, any excuse to get out of the hospital, right? The giant woman is fucking incredible and it's a shock to see her turn into a small regular woman but Rhys isn't too bothered. He's still starstruck, even through helping her change into something more modest as Jen dazedly asks who Rhys is and what's been going on.

They get coffee later because even as a no one mutant, Rhys thinks that Jen is new to the powered world and needs some help navigating it. He's right and Jen is more grateful for it than he'd ever know.

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

Rhys's powers come in handy for being a bodyguard. He's practically unknowable, his shadows can help hide people and god knows they make a good offence up close. His client is some fancy little lawyer and originally Rhys tuts at having to follow around some human woman, even if he is being paid rather well. Jen on her hand seems to think its hilarious that she's been told she has Rhys to guard her, which doesn't help the internal insecurity.

It isn't until the week is almost up that an hit is attempted on Jen and yeah, Rhys stops it, that that human lawyer, but it isn't until he turns around that he finds himself faced with a 7'5 green woman and it only now hits him why Jen found the idea of being guarded so funny. She says it's alright and that if he wants, maybe he could...talk about guarding her heart?

It's a terrible pickup line and god does Rhys agree to it.

Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

Jen is polite and sweet mannered on land, but the moment she steps onto her ship, Jen can finally return to the wild ways of curly hair, high waisted pants and cloth shirts that show off her clevelege. Rhys is a beautiful prince who she plainly and outwardly flirts with happily, even with the anger of his parents. It gets even better when such a beautiful little prince flushes so prettily.

Rhys himself can't help but admire the strong and beautiful pirate. He wants adventure! He wants to get out of the tight suits and to wear tight pants and free flowing shirts...but alas he has been fated to a horrible castle where he isn't even the heir to the throne. So what then if he decides to flee in the middle of the night and try to pay the hot pirate woman off to have her take him with her and the rest of her crew? A boy can live!

It isn't...the best plan. What with a bounty being placed to return Rhys back, but for now, all he really cares about it Jen's strong arms around his waist, teaching him the tricks of the sea.

Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Rhys and Jen are friends to the end. It's a cute rhyme that they come up with that makes all the adults laugh, even Jen's older cousin Bruce who is always quiet around anyone who isn't his mom or cousin. They're friends for years until Rhys practically drops off the face of the earth one day and his parents don't say anything at all. Jen's dad doesn't say or do anything either, even though her dad is a sheriff and should be able to do anything.

He didn't do anything when Uncle Brian killed Aunt Rebecca either though. So Jen pushes it down deep enough until hears later, where she's green and wild and strong, her feelings of rage and grief don't come back out until one day where she sees Rys again, remembers him down to her veins and bones as he picks a fight in the bar. After that it gets a little fuzzy.

Rhys uh, he remembers beaming and blushing back when Jen would share cookies with him. But he's pretty sure she wasn't a mutant so that doesn't quite explain why the asshole he was pissing off had gotten tossed into the air with a primal scream. Jen is mortified that she reacted in such a way and made an entrance like that, but Rhys is enamoured! He's touched that someone wanted to protect his dignity like that...and it was hot as fuck. He's up to see her toss more people as they begin to reconnect from years apart.

#ask #blind-mutant #green goddess (jen)#headcanon

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes!: You’re Everybody’s Sidekick Review

OK KO was easily one of the best animated series of the 2010′s and i’ll stand by those words. The brainchild of Ian Jones Quartlery, voice of Wallow in Bravest Warriors and more importantly former head writer for Steven Universe, and current longtime romantic partner of that series creator Rebecca Sugar. That part isn’t AS important, but I still find it sweet. Anyways OK KO was the story of K.O., a 6-11, not my own laziness for once but the show’s own way of doing age, year old boy who wants to be the best like no one ever was. In this case i’ts being a hero in a world that’s basically like if someone took the marvel universe and smashed a retro game collection and a pile of manga on top of it and then blended up the result and shot it full of gamma rays. Full of heroes of all kinds ranging from those fighitng crime to those who just want to loiter outside strip malls or cut hair. To achieve this goal KO gets a job at Gar’s Bodega, the combination of your average bodega (for those unfamiliar with the term, i’ts a convience store) and a video game item shop, so the slurpee machine is right next to the power ups and ninja stars, and everything from skateboard polish to Spread Guns is avaliable. The bodega is owned by Mr.Gar, a mustachiosed muscle man whose basically a shoutier mexican version of MIke Haggar but with shades and a mustache. So a somehow better version of him, though with him being busy watching over the plaza itself, doing secret hero missions and what not the day to day operations are left to two teens: Rad, a muscle bound dude bro alien with telekenisis and a secret heart of gold and Enid, a cynical, slacker ninja whose also bilogically a witch because her parents are a vampire and a werewolf. So the series follows these three as they run the boedega, grow as people and fight the robots that frequently attack the plaza sent by the evil Lord Boxman who hates the place literally because it’s there and it’s existance annoys him. This is the canon explination and it is utterly hilarious. The series was funny, had great character work, decent ongoing stories, great jokes and a fun tone that could go from meaningful and well thorught ot utterly batshit from episode to episode and was sadly canceled after 3 seasons because Cartoon Network is kinda stupid right now and dosen’t know how to handle a superhero show that still makes action a priority, but it did get a solid ending, a slew of great crossovers and a decent amount of representation under i’ts belt. WHich brings us to today and the start of RED ACTION WEEK: A week dedicated to the series most prominent gay character and the bisexual ninja witch who loves her. I’m covering all 5 of Red’s more prominent apperances... I was just going to do the red/enid episodes but decided this was a better introduction to the series itself, as well as the fact it allows her character arc to better tie together by her final episode, which directly uses this one as a major plot point. I also threw Plaza Prom in there since, even if she’s only a supporting character, it’s still one of her few major apperances, is part of her final major episode, is one of my faviorites, and the climactic dance fights is one of the most intentionally homoerotic fight scenes i’ve seen in some time. With all that out of the way, let’s do this after the cut.

We start at Gar’s Bodega, just after the opening two parter, with KO starting his first day of work, part of the reason this episode is a fairly smooth introduction into the show. Not even in the door he accidently shoryukyn’s joe cuppa, a stand up comedian with a cup of coffee in the big time for a head... I told you anything goes and I meants it. After that accident, we find Enid at the counter, ignoring the customers before shooing them away and when KO asks for work, plays along with his enthusasim and tells him to clean the store.. which he does in minutes, before being told to sort the penny dish, and while he does the two discuss KO’s love of helping people: KO just genuinely thinks that’s part of his job, the right thing to do and feels good while Enid.. dosen’t feel it’s worth the effort and people are just generally ungreatful and not worth it. I really like this scene for showing off their character dynamic beautifully: It starts showing that while at this stage Enid is largely an asshole, she does care about K.O. and while he’s cleaning, despite usually turning customers away, still let’s Ginger, an elderly patron and one of KO’s mom’s dojo customers, not only check out but pay in freaking pennies. It shows that try as she might, Enid really isn’t a cyncial or heartlesss as she claims. It’s also nice setup for later in the season as, and as i’m sure Ian Jones Quartlery and crew were preparing for, we later DO see why Enid hates people so much: her best friend, possibly more, Elodie, who i’ll certainly be covering eventually, betrayed her for a spot at Point Prep, basically UHA or Xavier’s for this world and claimed their friendship was just a ploy (It wasn’t, but again, story for another time), while her one date with Rad went terribly due to him acting like a huge jackass at the advice of his even bigger jackasses of friends. It’s easy to see why she stopped carring: When she opened up in the past it only lead to her being hurt and alone. K.O.... is the opposite. He genuinely belivies in everyone and tries to help them because, as said above, it’s just what he does and what he belivies a hero should be... he hasn’t been hurt or influenced by assholes like his friends, and thus is able to get them to open up. It’s a wonderful dynamic and I love it. And naturally, KO is determined to help Enid see the light, with Enid responding with the wonderful line “You’ll never melt my icy heart”... give him a few more episodes Enid, give him a few more episodes. So K.O. Decides to set out helping people, shouting about it to enid back at the store as he does because he’s 6-11 and kids in that age range are many things, but subtle is not one of them. He starts with Geoff and Nick Army, a monk and gay duke nukem reflectivity who despite having polar oppositie personalities, are both a couple, as confirmed by the creative team and then the finale, and a crime fighting duo who are having a dispute over opening a pickle jar with the good old ultra violence or non violence, which KO solves by letting both do it once, which results in a pickle jar explosion, both men in their underwear and everyone happy, especially the shippers. KO continues his quest, going to Logical Cuts where we meet Mr.Logic, a robot who has a rather moving and well done backstory we’ll certainly get to, and is voice by James Urabanik, aka the voice of Rusty Venture on the venture bros, to my utter delight. And yes i’ll be covering the venture bros eventually, and might be this month. His customer, another one of KO’s mom’s regulars, is upset because her haircut isn’t right while Mr.Logic is upset, well as upset as a monotone robot can convey, that his usually 100% mathmatically perfect haircuts are off. KO pitches in and the new result is perfect, with both being greatful.

KO’s next stop on his good will help people crying for help tour, after the above bit of wonderful art shift as that version of ko moveds like a south park character for some reason. Anyways, it turns out best friends, co workers and the dante and randal of this show, i.e.two best friends working a dead end job who despite arguing a lot need each other, A Real Magical Skeleton, self explaintory and Greg, a bear, are having an argument because RMS is trying to do their job and frame a baseball for a guy while Greg is being a dickhead and playing the drums constantly. As you can probably wager, I do not like Greg, probably more than rusty, partly because a future episode has him making KO doubt his macaroni art gift for his mom so he can eat it, yes really,and partly because he’s less intresting than his buddy and yet the two are shipped frequently despite my honest assumption they’d kill each other.. much like if dante and randall finally banged. However if you do ship them, I have no hostility with you. Unlike say loudcest or shipping sam with lincoln over at the loud hosue, there's nothing wrong with RMS X Brandon, it’s just not for me. Anywho KO solves it in the hilarious and awesome manner of just putting Brandon inside one of those baseball cube things... it’s a shame he apparently gave him air holes but whatever. Proud of himself, K.O. plans to head back when he runs into the Ally Teens: Red Action, rude teen warrior from the future who just had a bad haircut, Drupe, a sentient strawberry because of course, and Greg, Drupe’s nonbinary best friend and combination of one of the bone cousins and Woodstock. K.O. offers to help and , with the trio being huge steaming bowls of elephant piss at this point, they instead trick him into waiting in a lava flow and then have drupe whip him every time the lava causes him to cartoonishily jump in the air. Yeah despite both Red Action and Drupe going on to having supporting roles, like our good pal tom, who I will get back to this month, there isn’t nearly as much wiggle room in their first apperance. With Tom Lucitor, he was a dick.. but you could make the case, even just off that ep that he genuinely dosen’t know HOW to be a good person or that what he’s doing is sketchy at best. Here, it’s fairly obvious the ally teens know setting a child on fire and using vine whip on him super effectively is wrong, that’s why their doing it. Red, being that special brand of asshole, posts it on social media. I mean posting a video of yourself hurting a child, that’s Tucker Carlson level’s of dickery right there. Stone cold. Enid sees it and is understandably concerned, and goes over to see if KO’s allright when he returns and is forced to explain to him that no they weren’t laughing with him, they were laughing at him and were just being dicks. Also he wasn’t in lava, it was magma. It was above ground.

K.O. glumly wonders why and Enid reitrates this kind of shit is why she dosen’t help people. K.O. also wonders how she saw it and we find out Enid is basically facebook stalking red action on her social media, as you do, and that Red’s been on a bit of a tear lately, smashing up shit and farting in Geoff’s face all because she got a bad haircut, with K.O. , likely going thorugh more of her posts, realizing theirs a pattern: When bad things happen to her she lashes out at others.. just like Enid. I do like the parallel there: Enid likely has a crush on her because the two are fairly similar.. but Enid runs cold and tens to be standoffish as a result of her past, while Red tens to take out her anger and frustration on everyone else and runs red hot. But they come together because opposities attract... it’s what noble laurite MC Scat Kat taaught us after all. K.O. however, having Steven Universe level’s of empahty and an equal sense of wanting to help, and just as few boundries as he had as a tween, decides that it’s clear the ally teens have underlying issues to adress and gets Enid help to look at their social media. Returning to the ally,and seemingly unphased by earlier, K.O. sets out helping them, starting by helping red get her haircut fixed by Mr. Logic. Red is adorably delighted. Moving on K.O. notes that Drupe basically just follows Red’s lead but has a fashion blog and clearly an identiy of her own and we soon learn she believes no one reads it. K.O. showed it to the not at all ambigiously gay duo and Geoff and Nick thank her> That’s two blushes and two wins in K.O.’s court. Finishing up, K.O. realizes Gregg stays quiet because they have low self esteem and feel they have nothing to be proud of. K.O. however found lots to be proud of and framed Gregg’s valdectorian certificate for him, again with some help from earlier. Instead of graditude red just calls him weird and leaves and KO slumps back depressed. I’ts a good lesson though: people DON’T change just because you did one weirdly kind thing for them. That takes time.. as we’ll see with Red and as we see with Drupe, who has less of an ons creen journey but is far nicer after her next apperance. While Enid is grossed out over having helped someone, Gregg comes in.. and after some great deranged animation thanks K.O. and Enid admits after some prodding that it does feel good to help, and K.O. is happy to have helped her int he process. The two playfully mess around as the episode ends. Final Thoughts: This was a really good one. Reaching back this far into the series, I didn’t think it’d would be nearly as good as it ended up: It serves both as a good proper introduction for a lot of the plaza regulars, a good setup for Enid’s character arc, and was also really funny with great animation. LIke Tom, I don’t think the creators knew exactly what they were going to do with the Alley Teens and thus take the two they end up focusing on in opposite directon: Red keeps her assholishness for her next apperance and grows from it, while Drupe’s drops off by the end of this season, likely due to her fashion blog taking off, but we’ll get into Red more in a review or so and Drupe more later this month.For now this episode was good and next up we have their next apperance in Plaza Prom. Until then, follow this blog for more reviews and nonsense, like and reblog it if you enjoyed this, hit me up with asks for review suggestions or comssions and until next time, later days!

#ok ko let's be heroes #you're everybody's sidekick #enid #red action #rednid #drupe #gregg #ko #geoff #nick army #mr.logic #ginger #lbgtq+#pride month #happy pride

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my-belladonna · 4 years

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The Abditory - Teaser

Hello! Okay! So this is kinda the teaser/ introduction to the series I am writing. Sorry it took a while to post but I wanted to make sure I got a whole bunch of details about the series were done before really starting to write it. But let me include a couple details about what to expect from this series and this blog before you can really get into reading: Not only will you be getting the parts/chapters posted to this blog but I will also be posting character descriptions and pictures of what some characters would look like using inspirations from famous actors who I think would best fit said character. I can also answer questions about the series making sure to exclude spoilers along with explaining some of my inspirations for the personalities of characters from other people I personally know and or characters from tv shows, movies, books, etc. that I have enjoyed or really related to in a way. I am extremely excited about writing this series and I hope that the people who follow me on this journey will enjoy it as much as I know I will. (All characters in this series are OC’s created by me)

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Summary: Xiomara Garcia has always led a seemingly normal life for as long as she can remember. Living with her widowed father in a boring small town, going to a boring normal High school, being messed with by the popular girls, and having her friends Christian and Veronica around. Pretty normal until she finds out the other stuff about her mothers side of the family being a family of witches and wizards. That and a hidden place in the forest where there are creatures that have only existed in fairytales and fiction in the real world. But other than that pretty normal, right?

(Warnings: None)

Abditory - (rare) A concealed location used for storage or to hide items. [mid 17th century]

(Xiomara’s POV)

Shit shit shit shit shit! I mentally curse myself in my head, my heart starts beating fast and my feet take control of my body as I start to sprint in the opposite direction of where I was going. Here comes Rebecca with Felicia, Marissa, and Jennifer, her own little army of perfect Barbie doll friends trying to kick my ass…. Again. It’s a good thing that Veronica and Christian weren’t there for that whole exchange I had with them earlier or they would be just as screwed as I am right now. I swear I’m always fucking something up, I just wonder why I can’t just be like my parents they were perfect when they were my age. Dad was always such a popular and respected guy and mom, well mom was just perfect. She was pretty, kind, and friends with literally everyone, even when she got older everyone still loved her, so you bet they were devastated when she died. I guess I’m overthinking though because there goes Rebecca trying to grab my shirt. Gotta keep running.

(Christian and Veronicas POV)

“Dude I swear to God Mrs. Brown is gonna catch these hands if she doesn’t stop keeping us 20 minutes after the damn bell rings.” Veronica groans dragging her feet out of her 7th-period English class.

“Are you really gonna fight a teacher though Ronnie?” Her friend Christian asks slinging his backpack over his front.

“Maybe if she keeps it up!”

“Oh, there goes Mrs. Brown right there.”

“Fuck!” Veronica ducks behind Christian and he burst out into a fit of laughter.

“I’m messing with you stupid.” Veronica punches him in the shoulder leaving him wincing in pain.

“Damn Ronnie that shit hurted.”

“Yeah shut up,” She opens the school’s front door for him, “Ladies first!”

“You’re so funny you know that?”

“Yup!”

They both walk outside letting the cold fall air hit their faces bringing a slight tinge of pink to both their cheeks as a shiver falls done their spines. Christian shudders setting down his backpack and pulling out his sweater.

“Damn it’s cold.” Christian says between chattering teeth slipping his sweater on over his head.

“Where do you think Xio is?” Veronica asks, but just as the words left her mouth a small figure bolts past both of them sending them almost stumbling back. “That was Xio wasn’t it?” She groans, looking at Christian with an annoyed look secretly hoping that it really wasn’t her.

“Get back here Xiomara you freak!” Rebecca screamed, herself, and her friends running past in pursuit of their prey.

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely our girl.” Christian chuckles and pats Veronica on the shoulder, she rolls her eyes, “You wanna follow them?’

“And risk getting out asses kicked?” She shrugs his hand off her shoulder, “No thanks, well meet up with her later she might be going to the forest anyway.”

(Edwards POV)

“Damn it!” I wipe the sweat off my forehead before grabbing the soccer ball out of the goal, kicking it out into the field in frustration.

“Alright, Eddie why don’t you take a bit of a break you’ve worked hard enough. Go get some water and sit with Teddy.” Coach Bronson says giving me a firm pat on the back. I nod and head over to Ted whose sitting on the bleachers with a broken arm from a past game we played, I’ve known that kid for as long as I can remember.

“You seem, tense dude, what’s the deal?” He nudges me and I let out a sigh catching my breath again.

“I don’t know man I’ve just been feeling kinda weird lately. Nothing too crazy though I’m fine.” I assure my friend tapping his cast a couple of times. “How’s the arm doing today man?”

“Bro it hurts but its great because Maddy writes notes for me now in math so you bet I’m feeling alive with this cast on.” He winks at me and I laugh.

“Your horrible man.”

“Well, I do write with my right hand so-” He squints and looks behind us, “Goddamn!”

“What?” I ask, “What are you looking at?” I try to spot what exactly he’s looking at.

“Is that Xiomara man she’s booking it look at her go!”

“Xiomara Garcia?” I ask finally spotting her being chased by a group of people.

“Yeah man, looks like she pissed off Rebecca again cause there she goes with her girls behind Xio.” I smile to myself as I watch her running off the school grounds there’s always been something about that girl I just don’t know what. She’s so strange but in a good way and she doesn’t really ever seem to care about what anyone thinks. She’s confident and pretty self-assured it seems, it’s cute.

“Yo?” I snap out of my thoughts and look back at Ted whose waving his hand in front of my face, “I said what do you think she did this time?” I look back to where I last spotted her running. She’s gone.

“I don’t know man.” I lean back against the bleachers, “I don’t know.”

(Xiomara POV)

My legs are getting tired, my breathing is heavy, and I feel like I’m gonna pass out. But I’m not going to give Rebecca the satisfaction of catching me, I’m almost there just a little bit more. I can see the stream that connects this world to my own little one. Come on I can make it. I turn my head for a split second to see them still behind me yelling for me to stop running spitting profanities at me. I pick up speed, its right there, and I let my feet lift off the ground. It feels almost as if time just stopped for just a split second. Like everything just ceased until my feet hit the ground again and I continue sprinting for a couple of feet before ducking behind a large rock.

“No way Rebecca!” I hear Jennifer squeal, “She's crazy, and you’re crazy if you think I’m jumping over this stupid river and going after her in those freaky woods!”

“Its a stream you idiot!” Rebecca barks back, I peek from behind the rock to see her throwing her hands up in frustration.

“I don’t care!”

“Yeah Becca come on plus she went into the Windy Woods and I’ve heard a lot of creepy things about that place.” Marissa agrees eyeing the forest, fiddling with her hand in an attempt to calm her anxiety.

“Come on Rebecca lets sit this one out.” Felicia tries to pull Rebecca away from the stream getting her arm smacked by Rebecca in return.

“You guys better hope that little freak gets lost in those woods, lets go.” She turns and stomps away her friends following like lost puppies. I exhale and close my eyes leveling myself between the ground and the rock, my body aching as if my heart is beating in every limb I have. I stand up and walk deeper into the forest, funny how everyone thinks this place is so scary and evil, it’s beautiful. Then again I’m sort of fine with everyone being afraid of it, means I don’t have to worry about other people being here too. But it’s weird how bad or scary things happen to everyone else in this town in these woods but me, I’m not complaining though but it’s strange I don’t know what it is but it feels like I’ve been coming here forever. Like I belong here. I’m ripped away from my thoughts when I hear a twig snapping behind me. Fuck did they follow me? I whip my head around and catch a glimpse of a head of dark purple hair peering out from behind a tree. What? None of Rebecca’s friends had purple hair.

“Hey!” I call out jogging over to the tree I saw the mysterious figure pop-out from. Thinking I was going to catch the stalker I round the tree ready to confront them. “Who are y-” I stop dead in my tracks, no one is there. That’s not possible I didn’t even see them leave the spot behind the tree no sound, no running, nothing. I looked up to see if they maybe climbed up but nothing was there, no signs of a person anywhere. I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at the time, “Shit…” I mutter under my breath. It’s getting late I gotta grab my backpack from school and get home before my dad has a fit. I slowly tread back to the edge of the forest where the stream is, this time deciding to take the bridge that was a little ways down from where I jumped in order to escape Rebecca and her demons. I took one last look behind me at the forest chuckling softly before heading back towards the school. Guess I spoke too soon about weird things happening in that forest.

---------------------

Yay you made it! Okay now for a bit of extra clarification the main character in this series is Xiomara Garcia and this first little part is more of an introduction to some of the big main characters Xiomara, Edward, Christian, and Veronica. There are of course going to be more characters to be introduced but they will be introduced later in the future. I will be posting character descriptions and what actors kind of resemble them for Xiomara, Edward, Christian, and Veronica later! So if you have any questions about the series or characters please feel free to ask my inbox is always open! Thank you!

#fiction #ocs #narrative #witch #witchcraft #magic #story #tom holland #Tom holland imagine #original character #original content #orignal writing #my fic #fic

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athenadcvell · 4 years

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Okay fine here’s my character review for the Haunting of Bly Manor that literally no one wants

Obviously, spoiler ahead. I know no one cares but I like to post meaningless rants on this blog so here we are.

So. First off. Haunting of Hill House was SO MUCH BETTER, and you can fight me on that. I’m sorry, but Bly Manor was so predictable, like yes I got surprised sometimes, but Hill House had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. But Bly Manor was still fucking amazing, don’t get me wrong. I haven’t been this intrigued with a show since I finished The Originals.

Anywho, let’s start with Dani. Baby. I love her, and she’s so badass, but I will admit, she got on my nerves sometimes. Like sis, you’re seeing your dead ex, GO TO THERAPY. Also, I think she should’ve told Edmund’s fam about their break-up. Like I understand why she didn’t, but I just feel like she should’ve. But I love her.

Hannah was such a bad bitch, but it was kinda obvious she was dead. Like sis was skipping meals and popping outta nowhere, and she never left the manor. But I loved how she took no shit from anyone, and her confusion about everything SPOKE to me. Owen is by far one of my favs, with Jamie. He was so pure and funny, and I literally love him to death. HANNAH AND OWEN DESERVED BETTER. Also, when we saw his restaurant with Hannah’s pic, I sobbed, ngl.

Jamie, my badass, take no shit from no one, gay baby. I LOVE HER. She was so amazing, and she literally gave no shits. She was abt to go pow pow on a ten year olds ass and I LOVE HER FOR IT. LIKE YES. BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MILES BEING POSSESSED BY PETER.

Miles and Flora. Flora creeped me out from the start, like she was so sweet and polite, but so so creepy. But I also felt so bad for her. Poor girl just wanted her parents. We didn’t get to see a lot of what Miles was actually like, but lemme tell you, he creeped me tf out in the beginning. Like he was acting so grown, but everything made sense when we found out Peter was possessing him. Hated Uncle Henry with a passion. He literally just abandoned his fam in a ghost house, like sure he was guilty, but he should’ve been there for them. Also, he was kinda unnecessary to the storyline ngl.

Rebecca. Sweet, naive, Rebecca. Like, I felt SO BAD for her, because of everything that happened, but c’mon. Sis. There were so many red signs. I just wish she wasn’t so forgiving. And Peter can go ahead and choke. I HATE HIM. Like, because he’s played by the same actor that played Luke, I so badly wanted to love him. I was secretly hoping Rebecca like killed him or something so I wouldn’t have to hate him. But he just turned out to be a dick. I thought maybe he would give Rebecca a choice, like tell her to leave the manor and then she ended up offing herself so she could be with him, BUT NO HE HAD TO GO AND KILL HER. And then leave her alone to face the pain by herself... God I want to punch him. And his plan in the end made no fucking sense, so I’m glad it didn’t work out. But his backstory made me cry, I ain’t even gonna lie. And I’m probably a little messed up in the head, but he was attractive to me k bye

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yourdeepestfathoms · 5 years

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literally nobody:

me: The Crucible headcanons

Mercy and Abigail are really close friends and bond over how their parents were murdered by Native Americans.

They like to see how far they can push the rules in their Puritan society. They have yet to be punished, but there’s been some pretty close calls.

Mrs. Putnam’s seven dead babies have become a joke in the gang. They have a really dark sense of humor and think the way the woman constantly warbles about her kids is hilarious.

Mary gets picked on by her “friends” a lot. Her relationship with them isn’t very healthy, but she tries to stay away from the Proctor house as often as she can, so she just bears with it.

She does not partake in the dead baby jokes.

Mercy invites herself over to the Parris house all the time. Knocking is a concept that does not exist to her. She just lets herself in.

She does this at anyone’s house, really. Once, she strolled on into the Proctor house with Abigail, Susanna, Ruth, and Betty tailing her and Mary just about had a mix between a panic attack and a heart attack while sweeping because she didn’t know that they were coming over, nor did she ask permission for friends to come over. Elizabeth and John were like “?????”

Sometimes Abigail will come home from whatever she does for a living and Mercy will just be chilling in her bed or somethin’.

Susanna has tried to be the voice of reason in the group but most of the time she just goes “Oh fuck it” and gets into mischief with the others.

The gang used to always complain about having to have Ruth and Betty tag along, but those two are also trash goblins, so they’ve just accepted them into the group.

They all hide things from the adults that would be against Puritan law and show them off in private. They compete to see who could nab the coolest item. Mary always gets last place and is teased for being a coward. One day, she snatched some of John’s bullets and brought them to the show-and-tell circle. She got called whatever that time period’s word for “awesome” was and praised and applauded, which made her feel very good :) Too bad John wasn’t too happy with her when she got home and he found out, but, hey, at least she got to he appreciated for once!

Mary likes to make handmaid gifts and give them to people. She’s given wood carvings to the Nurses and Coreys, made flower crowns for her friends (who ACTUALLY wore them because they thought they were kinda neat), and likes to knit stuff for Elizabeth.

If you can’t tell, she kinda looks up to Elizabeth. Not as an idol, but as a mother. She’s way too shy and scared to admit this, though.

Abigail was actually quite kind to Tituba and would jump to her defense if someone said something about it, making her accusation on the servant hurt that much more.

Betty doesn’t talk that much, which everyone is chill with. However, she’s still a little imp who likes to get into trouble.

Susanna likes to help Rebecca and the doctor whenever she can.

Giles is in on the girl’s mischief and outings and show-and-tell circle, among other things, but he isn’t a snitch, so he doesn’t say anything.

Mary has a tendency to go nonverbal for awhile after beatings from John. Nobody really picks on her during that time because they at least have SOME common decency.

If she’s in a really bad mental state, Mercy let’s her rest her head on her shoulder or bury her face in her neck or cling to her arm.

Given the chance, Mary WILL force herself into someone’s lap because she’s touch starved and she just wants to be held gently for once.

The girls like to make up their own music with random noises they make, whether that be with their mouths or with items to make the sounds, or with chanting. They try to be quiet, but sometimes they get too into it because music is fun! They’ve had a few close calls before.

Abigail is really good at getting them all into messes, but is also really good at getting them out of them. Her charm and influence and ability to sway people is frighteningly impressive.

Mary made herself a small stuffed rabbit and she hides it underneath her pillow because she’s super embarrassed about it but she loves it a lot.

#listen if lord of the flies has a fandom then the crucible should have one too #im going to make one goddamnit #I tried not to make these all about mary #I have realized that I really like mercy #especially movie mercy #I think she’s neat!#the crucible #the crucible headcanons #this will be a tag goddamnit!!#abigail williams #mercy lewis #susanna walcott #ruth putnam #betty parris #mary warren

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theyearoftheking · 5 years

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Book Fourteen: Pet Sematary

“Sometimes people have to do things that just seem right. They seem right in their hearts, I mean. And if they do those things and then end up not feeling right, full of questions and sort of like they got indigestion, only inside their heads instead of their guts, they think they made a mistake...”

“Death is a mystery, and burial is a secret...”

So, it’s official guys: the world has become a Stephen King novel. We’re dealing with a worldwide pandemic like The Stand, and we’re all quarantined like The Shining. It’s kinda bizarre.

So how did yours truly deal with the news of the impending apocalypse?

I packed my bags and headed to New Orleans with my pals.

No, I wasn’t one of the people taking advantage of $30 flights a week out... we had booked this trip months ago, and the warnings were not as dire even early last week. But I will say, if the world is ending, I want to be in NOLA when it happens. Frosty drink, po boy... mama will be feeling no pain.

And now I’m back home, drinking lemon water and trying to heal my liver after all the damage that was done last week. Oh, in the midst of all the debauchery, I managed to finish two Steve books. The first one was Pet Sematary; which was kind of ironic, considering one of our NOLA adventures was a cemetery tour. Here for your viewing pleasure is Nicholas Cage’s future place of burial. Rich people, am I right?

But while at the cemetery, we met a few charming Constant Readers from Bangor! They mentioned seeing Steve just a few weeks ago at the grocery store. It’s a good thing I don’t live in Bangor, I would have less than zero chill. But our new friends from Maine were lovely to talk to.

On the surface, Pet Sematary is the story of the Creed family moving to Ludlow, Maine. Louis got a new job working at the university medical center, and his wife Rachel is down for the adventure. They have two kids, the precocious Ellie, and baby Gage (ugh. Even that name); and their cat Churchill. Upon their arrival in Ludlow, they meet their new neighbors: Jud and Norma Crandall. The Crandalls are a little older, but take to the Creed crew right away.

Ludlow seems like a nice place. According to Jud, rabies seems like the biggest issue plaguing the entire state of Maine. “Lots of rabies in Maine now. There was a big old St. Bernard went rabid downstate a couple of years ago and killed four people. That was a hell of a thing...”

My post-it note for this page reads, “Cujo, bitches!”

One afternoon, Jud takes the family on a hike, and shows them the old pet sematary right near their property. Later on at home, Rachel loses her shit. She doesn’t think children should be exposed to death, and it leads to a big ass fight. Louis is a doctor, and doesn’t think children should be sheltered from death. If they’re old enough to understand how babies are made, they’re old enough to understand how death works. But Rachel has some PTSD over the childhood death of her sister Zelda, and she’s never dealt with it. So her strategy is to brush the entire topic under the rug. At one point she tells Louis, “There’s nothing natural about death. Nothing. You as a doctor should know that.”

Rachel, girl. Death is just about as natural as it gets.

Thanksgiving rolls around, and Rachel takes the kids to see her asshole parents in Chicago, leaving Louis at home... where Churchill the cat ends up smooshed by an eighteen wheeler. Jud decides to take Louis on a little adventure, and shows him the burial ground behind the pet sematary, where whatever you bury comes back to life.

I know. It’s a reallllly bad idea. Have these people not seen Practical Magic? Do they not understand how bringing back the dead never works out? Ugh. Idiots.

Sidenote: if you haven’t seen Practical Magic, take advantage of quarantine time and go watch it. It’s late 1990′s Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, and it’s basically the story of me and my sister. Kind of, but not really.

So, Churchill comes back, but smellier and creepier; and it has Louis wondering why he brought him back from the dead in the first place. Even Ellie isn’t digging the new Church, and tells Louis she thinks she’ll be okay when he dies for good. So, mission accomplished? We’ll just refer to that as the weirdest damn parenting hack ever.

Life continues on, until the horrible day when Gage is playing outside with Louis, and also gets smooshed by an eighteen wheeler. It’s a horrible tragedy, and the family is broken. Rachel is inconsolable, Ellie clutches a Polaroid of her and Gage, and Louis can’t make sense of the tragedy. But you already know what he’s thinking...

After the funeral, he sends Rachel and Ellie back to Chicago with Rachel’s (still) asshole parents; and begins the arduous process of burying Gage at the burial grounds. He knows better... he saw first hand what happened to Church after his resurrection. But he’s undeterred. He had visions of Gage becoming an Olympic swimmer, and will stop at nothing to bring his son back.

Spoiler: it’s a shit show. Gage comes back from the burial grounds, swipes a knife from Louis’s doctor bag and kills Jud with it. He didn’t just come back a little smelly, or a little different... he came back as a Chucky doll. Back when Chucky was evil, before he became a comedic foil.

Meanwhile in Chicago, Ellie is losing her shit, and having horrible premonitions that things are going terribly wrong in Ludlow. She finally convinces Rachel to go back home. Rachel knows something is wrong, but has no idea what Louis is really up to. I’m guaranteeing, “digging up dead son’s body, hauling it across town in the car, lugging it up to the burial ground, and waiting for him to come back to life” wasn’t in her top ten concerns.

As she’s driving, she is trying her damnedest to stay awake, and sees a sign for one of our favorite towns in Maine, “Jerusalem’s Lot, she thought randomly, what an odd name. Not a pleasant name, for some reason... Come and sleep in Jerusalem.”

Rachel gets home, and makes her way over to Jud’s house, where she finds his dead body, and is then killed by Gage, pretending to be her crazy, dead sister. Louis is forced to kill Gage, and then he buries Rachel up on the burial ground as well. The final lines of the book are, “A cold hand fell on Louis’s shoulder. Rachel’s voice was grating, full of dirt. Darling, it said.”

Meh. A mediocre ending to a decent book. I was curious why Louis brought Rachel back to life... he saw how terribly wrong it went with both Church and Gage... was he waiting for Rachel to kill him? Was he hoping that since he buried her sooner than Gage, she’d be more of a “normal zombie?” Unclear.

But one thing is clear: I need to read The Monkey’s Paw by W.W. Jacobs. It’s been referenced at least a million times up until this point, and I have no excuses now that I’m living the quarantined life.

While the book was fine, I did think the topic of handling death with children was still relevant. It’s about as controversial a topic as it gets. Do we discuss it with children, or give them the line about pets/grandparents/old people moving to a farm and living there forever? How do we explain the afterlife? Where do people go when they die? A lot of times, adults don’t have good answers to these questions, and they don’t know how to communicate this uncertainty to children. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting children know adults don’t have all the answers. We don’t know what happens when someone dies, and won’t know until we die ourselves. In my experience, kids kinda like knowing you don’t have all the answers either, but you’ll be there as a sounding board, and a safe place for them to confide their fears. Honest conversations like this could have been helpful for Rachel, and prevented this whole story from happening in the first place. Maybe?

I don’t know.

We did have one Dark Tower reference, “No more did he walk like a gunslinger; now his walk was the slow, careful walk of the convalescent...”

And later on, Ellie thinks Church smells like, “ka-ka...” I can’t imagine it was ka for Church to get smooshed by a truck and brought back to life, but who the hell knows. I guess we all have a foggy, but bigger purpose.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 14

Total Dark Tower References: 10

Book Grade: C+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

Different Seasons: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Danse Macabre: B-

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Christine: D

Next up is Cycle of the Werewolf, which I have some thoughts about...

Until next time, Long Days and Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

#petsematary #stephenking #constant readers #death #new orleans #nola #po boy #coronavirus

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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years

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the tudors, twq, twp, tsp and reign rank them from best to worst and explain why

Best: Reign.

Easily. I know, it’s a teen soap opera and it’s dumb as hell with all these random fashion house 21st century clothes and magic and THE DARKNESS and Bash out in the woods.... killing people.... And it did have one unforgivable storyline that almost ruined the show for me. But Reign knew what it was. It never tried to sell its story as the truth. It actually had fairly complex female characters in Mary, Catherine, and to an extent towards the end even Elizabeth. I appreciate that the show went there with them doing shitty things... But you could tell that the writers loved them and didn’t want to “punish” them, as the PG adaptations always do. There was a real love behind Reign, lol, and I also think that the fantastic chemistry between Mary and Catherine, as well as Mary and Francis and Catherine and Francis, kept the show so memorable.

2. The Tudors.

Mainly for the actresses? Mainly for the actresses. I will always love Natalie Dormer’s Anne Boleyn and Maria Doyle Kennedy’s Catherine of Aragon. Despite the inaccuracies of the show, those two got the spirit of the women really well imo, especially in season 2. Maria’s Catherine had that dignity and self-righteous belief, to the point that she played the game she wanted vs. perhaps the the game that would have given her the best results. It’s that self-belief that can only be found in a true religious zealot who has a hell of a lot of belief in her own (corrupt) family. And while Anne Boleyn was a bit of a cipher vamp in the first season... Ugh, her arc is so good in the second season. Her highs, her lows, her desperation--it all played so true without making her this overly perfect heroine. I also really liked Tamzin Merchant’s Katherine Howard (oh poor baby) and the other wives were well-played too, even if I didn’t love the writing. Can’t forget Sarah Bolger’s Mary either! So good.

So like... This show was always fucking inconsistent, sometimes borderline insensitive, but like. The musical cues were great. I did love that shot of Henry eating a swan in an episode with a swan motif that represented his intense evil and the fact that he could only get a new mate by killing the old one. I do like that this show really did make me feel like Henry was an EVIL MOTHERFUCKER after a certain point. Like. Yes. There would still be moments of “lmao Henry” or even “Henry is kinda awesome riiiight” (no). But the end of season 2 played him up to be so VILE (I remember watching the scene of him acting disgusted by his miscarried fetal child with Anne, like it was some dead bird, with my parents back in the day, and they both were like okay fuck this dude forever he’s a monster). I appreciate that. I do think The Tudors was far less sympathetic to its protagonist than, say, The Borgias was with Rodrigo, and I prefer that kind of take. I also love Cromwell. I don’t think JRM was particularly well-cast, but he had some funny moments and he tried his best with old Henry.... it wasn’t right for him and his acting choices are always kinda bizarre to me, but they worked better here than they do on most other things I see with him? It’s a mixed bag, but there are really brilliant moment.

3. The White Queen

Not a good show. Not good. But! There were good performances. Rebecca Ferguson was good, Amanda Hale brought that fanatical aspect of Maggie B. out while also being kinda hilarious, James Frain (who was also a standout on The Tudors) is always a good medieval villain, and I really really do like Aneurin’s Richard III, even though his edit was confusing.

Also, out of all of the PG adaptations I think that this one at least sorta did the most with the witchcraft shit without just being like “THE CURSE!!!!11″. Like. If you’re going to lean into witchcraft, just do it. And I know this is controversial--I do not think Elizabeth of York had an affair with her uncle. But I also don’t really care if a show as dumb as the PG series goes for that aspect if it’s well done. It’s not well done here. BUT IT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS. Let us remember that I once had a url referencing Richard’s creepy uncle status on this fucking show.

“ELIZABETH... you’ve changed”. You saw her like a month ago bro.

“If I bed my niece--IF I MAKE THEM THINK I’M BEDDING MY NIECE” a line on this show.

And I will always fondly remember the outrage when people were like “he’s not really doing it Anne Neville and Richard for life” (never mind that Anne Neville is basically a blank page historically, and was used on this show as a flat character everyone could project everything onto, with a flat romance to boot) but then the Starz edit came out months later and it turned out THEY FUCKED IN A TENT. Oh how smug I was. Fond memories.

4. The White Princess.

Pros: Elizabeth of York and Henry VII are so well played!!! Jasper Tudor swanning about always reliable with the LADIESSSS, Michelle did her best with Maggie B. God bless her.

But this was also where they began the trend of the heroines of previous series being evil in the new series. And the illogical turn of acting like Elizabeth of York was wrong to take her brother out when he was literally threatening the lives of her husband and her sons. The Perkin Warbeck thing was Bad. The rape was Bad and basically has to be ignored in order for you to enjoy the series at all.

5 (the worst) The Spanish Princess.

So. The previous shows could always, even when the shit hit the fan, rely on Performance. Adelaide, Toby, and Michelle in Reign; Natalie and Maria on The Tudors, then later Sarah and Tamzin et al.; Rebecca and Amanda, etc in TWQ; Jodie and Michelle, etc in TWP. Now. There are good actors in the Spanish Princess. I do like older Henry and Lizzie.

But Charlotte just cannot fucking do this shit. The chick who plays Juana cannot do this shit. The streeeeetches made to make Catherine of Aragon seem like she has it coming later? The fucking REEEEACHES re: Henry VIII in every sense? No thanks. And it isn’t even hot, because Henry looks young EVEN THO HE’S WAY OLDER THAN HE WOULD BE IRL GROSS GROSS GROSS.

A mess.

#Anonymous

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