#reblog for money frog

[froginamoodboard]

"Next time you cheat, do it like a Lauter. Don't get caught."

Solomon Lauter Moodboard

Requested by: me

x x x x x x x x x

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

47 notes

☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

4 notes

unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

2000 notes

Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

34 notes

✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

5 notes

🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[jeonride]

seungcheol reading list / fic recs !

don't forget to like + reblog the fics that you like to support the authors <3

navigation

FICS ! ✧*

written by @cheolism :

In The Eye of The Beholder (smut but also fluffy and soft, boyfriend!cheol and he's such a simp) by

Couch Comfort (fluff)

The Great War (historical au, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers) by @amourcheol

written by @lovelyhan :

Down Bad (So So Bad) (friends to lovers, fluff, smut)

Thirst Trap (smut, fluff, established relationship)

Sonder (angst, smut, knight!cheol) by @jundundun

Gryffindor Captain (hogwarts au, angst, smut, one sided love) by @http-mianhae

written by @toruro :

Exes and Oh's (angst, smut, rebuilding relationship)

The Cake In The Back (smut, fluff, rich dilf!cheol)

All For You (smut, fluff, hurt/comfort) by @gfcheol

Push It Down (Sooner or Later It All Will Comes Out) Series by @dontflailmenow

Crossing Boundaries (smut, fluff, single dad au) by @wonusite

written by @duhnova :

A Witches Apothecary for All Your Desires and Needs (smut, angst, witch!au)

Who's in Control? (smut)

Setting The Mood (smut, fluff) by @playmetheclassics

Black Suit (smut, mafia boss!cheol) by @gyuranhae

Lover (smut, strangers to lovers, sugar daddy au) by @starlightxsvt

Terrifyingly Innocent The Series (smut) by @twogyuu

I Like You (smau with some written parts. fluff, angst, doctor!cheol x nurse!reader) by @taeyegu

Your Touch; My Lullaby (fluff, smut, angst) by @j6shua

After Class (smut, professor!cheol, with several continual parts) by @rubyreduji

Tomorrow Tonight (friends to lovers, angst, mutual pining) by @cheolbooluvr

Bite That Lip (smut, fluff, mild angst) by @beahae

Romance at Mistletoe Inn (smut, fluff) by @1-800-hwahui

written by @smileysuh :

Sapiosexual (smut, sugar daddy au)

Cherry Cheollie (smut)

written by @yoongiseesawmp3 :

Cupid (smut, brother's bestfriend!cheol)

Get You (fluff, neighbor!cheol)

Banana Pancakes (smut)

Reliable (smut, humor, bestfriends au) by @ncteez

Indulgence (smut, vampire!cheol) by @sluttywonwoo

Shiver Me Timbers! (smut, fantasy au, pirate captain!cheol x siren!reader) by @beefboyandbabygirl

Just Friends (smut, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn) by @lvscoups

Shiny Star (fluff, hurt comfort, university au) by @wonwoonlight

To Boil A Frog (fluffy, childhood acquaintances to lovers) by @seungkwansphd

When You Love Someone (angst, eventual fluff) by @shuahoonie

Exam Szn (smut, a bit fluff) by @azamf

11/10 (smut) by @bluejeanstrash

Track 1 ; Hotel (smut, heir!cheol, old money au) by @drunk-on-dk

Clouded (smut, slight fluff, established relationship, idol!au) by @hoshzone

It's Always Been You (smut, fluff) by @heartkyeom

Lusty Gallant (smut, roommates fwb au) by @onlyseokmins

The Devil Said... (angst, smut, half demon!cheol) by @multi-kpop-fanfics

DRABBLES / SCENARIOS ! ✧*

Wine & Dined (fluff, smut, established relationship) by @celestiababie

Silky (fluff, smut) by @playmetheclassics

Driving Me Crazy (smut, bandmate!cheol) by @1-800-hwahui

11.00 PM (smut) by @celestialpearls

dry humping (smut) @sluttyminghao

written by @idyllic-ghost :

birthday sex (smut)

written by @lovelyhan :

when you're having a bad day (soo fluffy)

forced orgasm (smut)

you sound pretty hot when you shut up (smut)

written by @toruro :

take care (smut)

escapades (smut)

written by @onlyhuis :

wedding night (smut, fluff)

more please (smut)

written by @yikesmary :

three : he falls first (fluff)

pregnancy cravings (fluff)

Insomnia (smut) by @jaestrz

written by @bluejeanstrash :

manspread (smut)

giving road head (smut)

unholy (smut) by @multi-kpop-fanfics

6.29 am (fluff, established relationship) by @ksywoo

ice cream (smut, fluff) by @/seonghwalogy

baguette (fluff) by @/bwinnies

possessive cheol (smut) by @/meltwonu

fwb with cheol (smut) @/wonwoonlight

written by @/fairyhaos :

what's good? (fluff) by

4.15 am (fluff)

5.02 am (fluff, dad!cheol) by @/slytherinshua

winter (smut, husband!cheol) by @/xmyunghoe

[play-now-my-lord]

hey! i'm frog k, trans weirdo online, and i need help.

i've been out of steady work for a little bit, my gf and i have been struggling to find anything since the pandemic hit, and we're both very, very broke. i have money set aside for urgent car repairs but my back has been so jacked up the last month i've barely been able to cook for the two of us, and i'm scared of eating into it and winding up without a car at all. meanwhile my gf is $80 in the red, and we absolutely need to fix that before bills start bouncing. i'm hoping to raise about $300 to cover a run of microwavable crap from the grocery store, plus getting my gf's bank balance back into the positive. any amount of help & reblogs deeply appreciated, as always <3 ko-fi (for paypal users) frogk cashapp $asimplefrog

tysm all!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hunter's Delight

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, violence, blood, coercion, and other elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A peaceful getaway turns to horror when you encounter a strange man in the woods.

Character: Kraven the Hunter

Note: So, this isn't what I was planning as my birthday fic but my other fic was just not happening lol.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The smell of cedar tinges the air. Birds wing across the pale blue sky and critters rustle in the twigs and leaves that trim the forest floor. Shadows nestle between the trunks and lend an ominous hue to any otherwise harmonious landscape.

It’s a long needed escape from urban crush. The fatigue of your nine to five recedes as your brief getaway frees you of the unseen cuffs of modern survival. There are no emails, no memos, or stuffy meetings. There is only you and naked outdoors.

Oh, and your friends.

You never traveled much. Most of the time you had off, you were too tired to do much more than the bare minimum. You hadn’t even thought of it until Larissa invited you. It just never occurred to you to spend the money or the energy. Now you’re more than happy you did.

You follow the snakish path that dips between valleys and over hills, up steep walkways and across sprawling plateaus. The lush green is endless, littered with patches of thick forest, and the occasion running river crested by an old wooden bridge. 

Larissa chatters loudly about your eventual return to the cottage. She dreams of kebabs cooked over the campfire and some fruity sangria. You trail the others, four of you in all. Jodi and Cameron ahead of you as your host leads the way. Work friends, but you suppose more now that you’re here.

The river water sends up a fresh scent from behind the looming trunks and you glance over at the gleaming ripples, almost twinkling as you admire them between the trees. You could do this every day. Just wander until you can’t move anymore.

“I can’t believe this is your first time up north,” Jodi says, drawing you from your mind.

“Uh, yeah, never did much exploring I guess,” you shrug.

“Even as a kid?”

“Nope. I think we had one family trip and we didn’t even make it to the amusement park,” you chuckle dryly, “ah well.”

“Ugh, I remember one time, when we were camping, my brother, Toby,” Cameron begins, “he put a frog in my bag. I screamed so loud. My mother didn’t even believe me.”

“Damn,” you remark. Cam tends to do that. Everything in some way relates back to one of her stories.

“Oh, I have an idea,” Larissa stops and faces you, “we have to decide who’s cooking.”

“It’s fine, I said I would–” You begin.

“Boo, that’s no fun,” she snips, “we used to play this game when I was a kid. I always won. Whoever collects the least acorns in ten minutes cooks.”

“Acorns?” You look around nervously. “Where?”

“You shouldn’t get lost. If you go too far, just stay still and we’ll find you,” she brushes off your concern, “it’ll be fun. And I know all the best spots!”

“That’s no fair,” Jodie pouts.

“How about I start after you. I’ll only do five minutes,” she barters.

“How do we know time’s up?” Cam picks a fingernail.

“Like I said, if you don’t show up, we’ll come find you.”

“I guess…”

“Alright, how about, whoever collects the most gets princess treatment for the night. The rest of us will have to serve you drinks and get you whatever you want,” she offers with a smug grin.

You bite your lip but don’t argue. It’s obvious she’s going to win but you wouldn’t mind the chance to explore a bit more. Besides, you never complain about time alone. It’s so peaceful here, that might just be a reward of its own.

“Come on!” Larissa claps, “bragging rights are included.”

“Fine,” Cameron sighs, “I guess it’s not completely stupid.” 

“It’ll be fun just to wipe that look off your face, Lar,” Jodi snorts.

You shrug and give a nod. You have little faith in your foraging skills but you don’t mind running to the cooler a few extra times that night. Besides, the cottage did get a bit suffocating with all of you there. This might be your only chance for alone time.

“Alright, on three,” Larissa declares, “one, two–” Jodi sprints off and Larissa holler, “I didn’t say three!”

Cameron runs after her and Larissa scowls. She puts her hands on her hips and drags her foot over the grass. You give a sheepish smile and awkwardly sway.

“Guess they won’t know if I start early,” she says and sets off in the opposite direction.

You slowly putter away as you head for the river. You have no intent of gathering acorns, you just want to watch the water. You weave between the trees and come out to the shore along the winding river. You watch the lazy flow and the little minnows flitting beneath the clear ripples.

You get closer and sit on your knees in the dirt. You drag your hands through the water and push your fingers into the silt. You bend slightly and look at your reflection. You're almost hypnotised by the ambiance. 

You close your eyes and pull your hands from the water. You place them on your shorts and take a deep breath. You want to hold onto this moment, to remember it once you're stuck back behind a keyboard.

You smile and your lashes flutter open. You see your reflection again, then it suddenly darkens as a shadow comes up behind you. At first, you’re confused, but you assume it’s one of the girls trying to scare you.

“Very funny–”

You fly forward into the water, arms flailing out as you splash into the shallow depth. Your head is pushed down to the riverbed as a foot crush your skull. You cough and gag, gulping down water as your breath bubbles out of your nose. Your head begins to thrum as you choke until at last, the weight relents and you rip your head from beneath the surface.

A sharp boot cracks into your ribs and sends you onto your back. You heave as you land flat, keeping your head just above the water. A man stands above you, crystal blue eyes boring into you as a growl creases in his forehead. He squats and grabs your chin, unsheathing a large knife from his belt.

“Scream and I’ll cut your throat out,” he warns as he pokes the knife tip along your lip, hushing you as he turns it slowly.

You shut your mouth, eyes rounding in terror as you watch him. Who is he? What does he want? You can’t let him know about the other girls. At least, you hope he doesn’t already.

“Listen to me,” he traces along your jaw and down to your throat, “you will do exactly as I say.”

You blink, saying nothing. His voice is gristly and unbending. His dark hair curls behind his head and he wears a thick beard that thins to coarse stubble. Around his neck is a thick cord with a single fang hanging from it.

Your eyes nearly cross as you try to see the knife in his hand..

“Gold locket. Pearl set in the middle. Bring it to me.”

You stare at him searchingly. It’s like he’s speaking another language. Or your brain just won’t hear them as fear courses through your veins. 

“She wears it around her neck.”

You see the golden chain around Larissa’s neck. You noticed it once or twice, never really thinking much of it. You just thought it must be sentimental. Your lip trembles as the man clutches the back of your neck and leans into the blade.

“Why?”

He chuckles, “you want to live. I can feel it. So no more questions and I might let you. The locket, midnight. I will wait here. If you do not come, I will come to you. And you can weep with their heads in your bed.”

You gulp as he smirks at you. You nod slowly as he loosens his grip. He releases you. You almost sink back under the water as he stands and you push yourself up. He swirls the thick knife then holds it up to reflect the sunlight.

“Such a beautiful day, it would be a pity if it were to end in blood.”

“I will bring you the locket. I promise.”

“I know you will,” he says as he struts towards the trees, “it is why I chose you.”

You sit dumbfounded, staring after him until you can see nothing but the trees. You shiver as the water stirs calmly around you, soaking you through to the point of discomfort. You climb out of the river and wrings out the fabric of your shirt.

As you look around at the serenity of the pastoral bliss, you can’t fathom that the man had ever truly been there. The tenderness in your neck assures you otherwise. He was and he will be back.

☀️

“What happened to you?” Cameron giggles as you appear from the trees. 

“No acorns, huh?” Jodi boasts.

“I uh… dropped them in the river. Tripped,” you lie. You’re too stunned to explain further.

“You okay?” Larissa asks.

“Yep, fine,” you utter.

“Well, Jodi got eleven and Cameron got eight, and I… got twelve.”

“Cheater,” Jodi mutters under her breath.

You’re thankful they’re too distracted by their child’s game to be very concerned. You throw up your hands. “Looks like I’m cooking,” you resign dully.

“And I get to be pampered,” Larissa trills tauntingly.

“Whatever. You’ll be lucky if I don’t dump the sangria on you,” Cameron warns.

Larissa laughs. The girls might play up their cattiness but it’s just friendly competition. Another thing you never really had growing up. Friends.

They leave the acorns in the grass. You’re quiet as you follow them onwards. You look back just before you’re out of sight of the river. You don’t see the man but you have no doubt he meant what he said. He knew about Larissa and the necklace, that’s enough for you.

🌄

As a gracious loser, and a terrified individual, you volunteer to make a pitcher of sangria for the other girls. They happily accept the offer and go out to get the fire started. The night is quickly setting in as you watch the time on your phone. As there is only one solar charger amongst the bunch of you, your battery stays at fifty percent. Without reception, it isn’t of much use anyhow.

You mix the wine, brandy, lemonade and fruit together with a wooden spoon. You hear Larissa giving orders outside over the crackle of the fire. The locket with the pearl. You know she’s still wearing it, you looked for it and there it was, around her neck. What use is jewelry all the way up here.

Your thoughts are split by the snap of the spring door. Jodi tramps inside and huffs.

“Is the wine ready yet? She’s driving me nuts.”

“I’ll bring it out,” you assure her, “why don’t you grab the kebabs, they’re ready to go.”

You nod to the pan of skewers and she lets out a disappointed grumble. She takes the pan and leaves you again to ponder your impromptu mission. You’re not stupid enough to ask for the locket. You watch the oranges swirl in the wine mixture…

You can’t. Can you? You peek over your shoulder and peek through the window. They wouldn’t notice. You could say you used more wine than you thought.

You turn your back to the window. The girls can survive a few bendaryls, they won’t survive that man and his knife. You can deal with hating yourself. That’s never been hard.

You tiptoe across the kitchen. You don’t know why you think they’ll hear you, your guilt just makes you paranoid. You go down to the room and search in the lower bunk for your bag. You take out your box of emergency benadryl and slide out a full insert. Just enough for an edge, nothing deadly.

You sneak back out and drop the pills one by one into the sangria. You stir and you stir and you stir. Finally, you’re content that your potion is complete. Your curse is pharmaceutical allergy relief with a side of drowsiness. The girls are probably too thirsty to notice you’re not sharing.

🌙

Jodi stumbles back from the outhouse. You watch her cautiously, ready to hop up and catch her. She manages to make her way back to the fire and falls into the folding chair with a burp.

“Damn, that sangria is strong,” Cameron chimes.

“And it’s going right through me,” Jodi slurs into a giggle.

“Me too,” Larissa stands up and puts her hands in front of her shorts, “my turn.”

You listen to her go around the side of the cottage, her sandals scraping and scuffling. Jodi leans her head back and snorts, waking herself and lurching forward. You get up and keep her from falling out of her chair.

“Hey, you should lay down,” you say.

“Lightweight,” Cameron teases and gulps down a mouthful. You try not to cringe.

“Whatever, I’m fine,” Jodi babbles.

“Come on,” you get her up, letting her lean on you heavily.

She’s dragging her feet as you get her across the yard and to the steps of the deck. You haul her up and through the back door. Inside, you feel her slacken on your arm until you're pretty much carrying her. You get her into her bed and roll her onto her stomach, already snoring.

You check the time. It’s late. Just after eleven.

You go back out, the blaze of the fire obscuring your view of the yard.

“Not you too,” Cameron chortles as Larissa falls past the chair trying to sit.

“I think it’s time to call it a night.”

“Bleh, listen to the office administrator, she never gives it up,” Larissa sneers, “isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” you agree softly. You want all the abuse she has to offer you. You deserve it.

“You wanted to be princess for the night,” Cameron calls over, “let her carry you to bed.”

You ignore Cameron as you steady Larissa and direct her around the fire. You take the same path with the same end, dumping her in the singular queen she claimed for herself in the main bedroom. You make sure she’s on her stomach and shake out your nerves. 

You flip on the flashlight built into your phone and shine it over her. You apologise before you unclasp the necklace. It’s heavier than you expect. You tuck it in your pocket and leave her.

One more.

Cameron meets you at the door to your surprise. She’s yawning and staggering. You let her pass as she mutters about the fire. You follow her, making sure she gets to her bed before you go outside to kill the fire.

When all is dark and still, you look up at the moon and measure the journey ahead of you. What if you get lost? What if you can’t remember the way back? You think you do. Doesn’t matter. It’s almost half past and you need to get going.

You grip your phone as you come out around the front of the cottage. You remember that you came from the right… didn’t you? You turn on your flashlight again as the darkness consumes you. You tremble at the sheer endlessness of the night.

As you set off, you hear every twig snap, every branch sway, every bat squeaking from some hidden nook. You are exposed to the unseen. Easy prey.

You hear the low trickle of water, louder in the dearth of night. You use it to guide you, flinching as leaves brush against you. You shine the light around you, trying to get a glimpse of your surroundings. It only illuminates the shadows and adds to the depths of the blackness.

A noise rolls in the darkness. Thunderous as it grows louder, footsteps making themselves heard, a beast closing in. His laughter comes from all around you, dizzying you as you spin and try to find him.

At once, he quiets and you hear nothing but the stirring of the breeze. No footsteps, not laughter, only the frantic beat of your heart. You stop and squint as you shakily raise your phone, making out the thick trunk of a tree.

There is a sudden warmth behind you. His hand is on yours, squeezing before he rips away your cell. You hear it land in the grass. His other arm hooks around your middle. His breath seeps through your hair and across your scalp.

“Give it.”

You reach into your pocket, squirming as you dig out the necklace. You hold it up with a whimper and he wraps your hand up in his again. His rough skin sends a shiver through you. He hums above the soft tinkle of the chain.

“Very good,” he keeps you close, “you are an obedient little pet, aren’t you?”

You don’t move, you don’t speak. He has what he wants. Now you want to go.

“I’ve decided,” he says bluntly. You hold your breath, trying to decipher his meaning. You try to pull away and his arm hooks tighter around you. “I will take you too.”

“What?” You quiver and grasp his arm, shoving on it without result, “no, let me go–”

“You can scream for me,” he walks you forward until you collide with a tree, putting your hands out to keep from being crushed against the bark, “the louder, the better.”

Your fingertips curl painfully against the tree. He traps you against the tree as he lets out a grow, the heat of his breath and body enshrines you. You shake and whine as panic sinks into your chest.

“Please, let me go. Please, I did what you asked–”

“I’m not asking,” he snarls and grabs your shoulder.

He spins you so violenly you can’t help but fall back against the tree. The subtle friction of metal on leather cools your blood as a sliver of moonlight gleans off the knife’s edge. You brace the tree as you babble dumbly. You don’t want to die.

He brings the curve tip of the knife to the hem of your shirt and yanks up, shearing open the front so that it falls open, revealing the bralette beneath. He makes as quick work as that, slicing up the middle and exposing you to the night chill.

He stands over you, bearing in on you as he bends slowly. You gasp as he clutches a handful of your hair and pulls your head to the side. He leans in and grazes your throat with his teeth. You writhe, caught in the arrest of his gruff touch.

He bits down, pinching your flesh until you cry out. He snickers and unclenches his teeth, trailing further down, teasing along your collarbone and over the tender flesh of your shoulder, once more nipping into you. He tortures your flesh, sucking it until it throbs.

He goes lower, tracing his path first with the metallic cold of the blade, then piercing with his teeth. He bites into the curve of your tit, he leaves sore marks blazing all around, at last taking a nipple in his mouth. His tongue swirls around your hard bud, toying with it, sucking, flicking, until finally he bites again.

You sob as he sinks his teeth in. You feel the flesh break and the warmth trickles from you into his mouth. He hums as he drinks it in, unlatching to let your rough skin turn fiery in the open air. He tends to the next, just as cruelly, as your body wracks in shock and agony.

How can this be happening? It can’t be real. You don’t understand. Who is this man? Where did he come from? You close your eyes, trying to hide from reality as it nips at your flesh.

You drone as he leaves a trail of spit and blood down your stomach, biting again and again, a tortured trail down to the top of your denim shorts. Your legs shake, threatening to give out.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he tisks and pinches your thigh, “you are weak but you will not give up, pet.”

He cuts along the seams of your shorts, left then right. You tremble with bubbling, teary gulps. The denim falls to your feet and he uses the end of his knife to play with the cotton elastic of your panties. He clicks his tongue but does not voice his amusement further.

He drops to his knees, a hand framing your hip as your legs quake. He squeezes, his thumb jabbing into your pelvis. He drags his knife down the front of your panties and hooks the fabric along the tip. He tugs until they rip, breaking through the fabric, cutting a line along your cunt. 

He turns the flat of the blade against your flesh, grazing the folds before pulling it away. You bat your lashes as terror overflows. Your head lolls as your muscles twitch. You see the man’s faint shadow in the slats of moonlight breaking between the cedar trunks, you hear him lick the blade with a purr.

A silver shine reflects the eerie night glow as he raises his knife. You scream as he aims it toward you, stabbing into the wood just beside you. Your heart hammers to cacophony as he laughs at your fright.

He pushes his hand up your thigh, his calloused fingers mean against your soft skin. He feels along the shorn cotton and dips two fingers into the opening. He delves between your lips, flicking his fingers up and down your cunt. Your legs quiver and you clutch onto the divots in the bark, fighting not to fold into a heap.

He slides his fingers back and forth, feeling every part of you, doting on your clit, only to trail back to your entrance. You suck in air sharply and sob. Please just do it. Just let it be over with.

He pushes into you. Slowly, Deliberately. He leans forward and nuzzles the soft vee of hair along your cunt and sighs into you as he wiggles his fingers deeper and deeper. You groan as he stretches you. Even as your body reacts, even as the slickness welcomes the intrusion, it hurts.

He growls as he meets some resistance. You clench around his knuckles and he rams his fingers into you, to their limit. You shriek and your sandals slip in the dirt. Your nail catches in the veins of the tree and snaps.

The coolness of his tongue frightens you as it pokes out and slides along your lips. He tilts his head and glides between your folds, doting on your clit with furious flutters. You gulp and gasp, panting as a new heat blooms inside of you. Your pulse races with more than adrenaline.

He eases his fingers back then in again. Your cunt clenches around him, constricting as his tongue toys with you, flurries your nerves to an unbearable storm. Your insides clutch as rivulets of hot and cold gather in your core, mingling to a fiery roil.

You spasm, stunned by your own body. You stand on your toes as your muscles tauten and your nerves ping off each other. You cum with a raspy whine, forced over the edge by the battle of his thrusting fingers and diligent tongue.

His laughter rumbles through you as he indulges in your dissemblance. He slows as you heave helplessly. He slides his fingers out of you, leaving an emptiness there, and wipes your cum down your leg. He parts from your cunt entirely, a rocky snarl as he stands.

You smell yourself on his breath as he comes close again. He grabs the back of your neck and draws you away from the tree. Your legs tingle and shake beneath you. He turns and hurls you down to the ground. You land on your knees, hitting your elbows in the dirt.

He grabs your hips, keeping them up. He kneels behind you, one hand brushing up your back and forcing your chest down to the ground. You don’t fight him, you have nothing left.

He feels along your panties, hooking his fingers in the rent of the fabric and tears it further up your ass. He gropes you roughly, digging his nails into your skin and dragging them up, leaving hot scratches along your ass. He runs his hand from your shoulders to your hip, gripping you as his other hand retreats from your ass.

The air stills and your ears ring as each breath scalds in your chest. You stare into the deep void of the forest as his zipper splits through the silence. Time slows as dread suffocates you. This is it. This is really happening.

His fingers tickle along your ass and you twitch. He reaches your cunt, rubbing and spreading your lips, taunting you as he curves his fingers along it. He edges closer on your knees, pushing yours wider, and he pulls his hand away.

He prods you with his tip, making a slow path down to your entrance. He circles it as he groans, basking in the tension of that moment. He leans against you until his tip slips into you. You strain around him, heaving into a horrifying wail as he pushes deeper.

He reaches to your neck, pinning your face in the dirt as he jerks his hip, filling you with the single, agonizing motion. You cry out louder, your horror echoing into the sky. Your head quakes and your ears vibrate with the volume of your own grief, rising from you without restraint.

He slides back and snaps into you again. The slap of flesh underlines your breathy weeps. His weight puts an ache in your neck and down your spine. Your fingers dip into the dirt as you clutch at handfuls of dirt. He bucks again, again, again, each time growling with delight.

His palm cracks against the side of your ass, a new pain radiating through your hips. With each thrust, he smacks you, curling his nails into you, pinching, only to do it again. You whimper and wail, trapped in his fervour as you taste soil and the salt of your tears.

He bends over you, hooking his arm around your middle and the other around your neck. He sits up with you against him. His hand brushes up your side and kneads your chest as he rocks you in his lap. Your head lolls as you hiccup through your tears.

He ruts from below, splitting you in two as his muscle bulges around your neck. You wheeze as he squeezes tighter and tighter, until the world speckles to grey and black. You feel his final, jarring rams as they throb in your core, and the sudden burst of heat inside you. Almost soothing as it assures you of the end.

But it is not. He puts you on your back. Senseless, dazed, he’s on top of you, crawling over you like an animal. He fucking you against the ground, holding your leg bent against him, biting into the flesh along your shoulder. Torturing you from the inside until he’s spent again.

Not spent, not done. You’re on your side, the world flickering beneath teared-webbed lashes, each ruts shaking you. Legs together, he claps against your thighs until again he empties into you with a raucous roar.

Again, again, again. Until you’re smeared with dirt, grass, sweat, and cum. Until you’re left an empty husk across the forest floor. 

Your eyelids part as he pulls the blade from the tree, a softer light emanating from the sky as the dawn approaches. He sheathes the knife as he marches around you, poking you with the dirt of his boot. He stops and squats at your side, a crooked smile on his lips.

“This hunt is not over, pet,” he reaches to brush a roughened thumb across your cheek, “I know you are stronger than this.”

He stands again and rolls his shoulders as he shakes out his mussed curls. He takes a step forward, then another, and another, striding into the sunrise without a look back. You lay prone across the lumpy ground, trying to untangle his words. They are more than a warning, they are a promise.

[tateshifts]

PLACES I LOVE ⋆｡˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ in my hogwarts dr

♯ 𝟏 Warlport Alcove. it is located next to the boat house in basement of the castle. it’s our go to place to smoke cuz we not trekking 25 minutes to the astronomy tower 💯‼️ the alcove is only a few minutes walk from the slytherin common room and it’s basically the same thing as the tower… just not in the tower. warlport has great view of the lake and the sky. its definetly a hidden gem at hogwarts, its really only the slytherins and hufflepuffs that know about this place since it’s closer to those common rooms.

♯ 𝟐 Slytherin common room, specifically at 2am. it’s so quiet you can hear the waves crashing above, and because of the peace the creatures in the black lake swim closer to the big window. it’s so fascinating seeing all the little creatures that live in the lake. AND THE GIANT SQUID (is not as scary and i thought). the sound of the fireplace, the comfy sofas, the crisp cold air, it being 2 in the morning is when the common room is at its peak frrr

♯ 𝟑 Honeydukes. big back big back 🫵🏽 i get excited by the thought of honeydukes. everytime i go to hogsmeade i stop at this shop for sweet treats to eat WHILST VISITING hogsmeade and then i go back when im about to leave so i can eat on my way home and in bed and in the middle of the night 😕 anything chocolate i buy.. especially chocolate frogs THEY ARE POPULAR FOR A REASON. gift me a voucher for Honeydukes and i’ll love you forever. unfortunately HD is the only place mattheo will let me waste his money smh

thanks for reading ❦｡･:*:･ﾟ follows, likes & reblogs are appreciated x

[creations-by-chaosfay]

This is for folks who sew...

PLEASE REBLOG 🙏🏻

I've made big and little blocks for others to use, as well as listed "orphan" blocks in my shop. Orphan blocks are extra blocks leftover from a finished quilt top, usually no more than four or five.

For my mom, I made a very detailed frog block. She's also a quilter, and she makes bags, purses, and wallets, but her eyes aren't able to see really tiny pieces. Plus, she doesn't have the deep live for foundation paper piecing that I have. Here's the block I made and will never make again. Please check out the link to see why I will never make this again (unless someone pays me a lot of money because OMG sooooooo many itty bitty pieces).

I've done several quilt block swaps over the years, but finances are too tight for swaps and trades. Here are the two I have in my gallery.

[writingwenches]

HOTD Original Character Ask Game – Disney Edition! 🏰

I’ve seen many posts about people complaining about “boring HOTD OCs,” so I challenge everyone to put their money where their Disney trivia’s at! Send in a prompt from the list below, and I’ll create a drabble with a unique OC based off the Disney character, like Disney-bounding, but for fanfics~ If you’d like, attach a pairing, a kingdom, or challenge multiple requests together! The characters can be from popular or obscure houses!  I started with female presented characters, mainly because there’s already too many to fit, and some characters were left off for various reasons.  Feel free to reblog and take requests of your own! I’d love to see what everyone can come up with! Reblog and state if you’d want requests from Levels One, Two and/or Three because they get a little wild and crazy. Mwahaa.

Level One: The Classics

🧹 Snow White

🍎 Evil Queen (Snow White)

🪡 Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

💜 Malificent

👑 Cinderella

👿 Evil Step Mother (Cinderella)

🕊 Wendy (Peter Pan)

🧚🏾‍♀️ Tinker Bell

🍬 Alice

🧜‍♀️ Ariel (Little Mermaid)

🐙 Ursula

🐯 Jasmin (Aladdin)

🌹 Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

⚔️ Mulan

🐸 Tiana (Princess and the Frog)

🏹 Merida (Brave)

🍳 Rapunzil (Trangled)

🌻 Gothel

��️ Elsa (Frozen)

⛄️ Anna (Frozen)

🌊 Moana

🏠 Mirabel (Encanto)

—

Level Two: A Fun Challenge

💅 Wicked Stepsisters (Cinderella)

💙 Blue Fairy (Pinocchio)

🎃 Fairy Godmother (Cinderella)

👽 Lilo

🏄‍♀️ Nani (Lilo and Stitch)

💕 Charlotte La Bout (Princess and the Frog)

🏛Meg (Hercules)

💎 Kida (Atlantis)

🐵 Jane Porter (Tarzan)

—

Level Three: lol Good Luck!

🦁 Nala (Lion King) 

🎤 Giselle (Enchanted)

🐵 Jane Porter (Tarzan)

🐰 Judy Hopps (Zootopia)

🐶 Lady (Lady and the Tramp)

🐱 Marie (Aristocats)

🐠 Dory (Finding Nemo)

👾 Boo (Monsters Inc)

🤖 Eve (Wall–E)

🦜 Kevin (Up the bird)

☠️ Yzma (Emperor’s New Groove)

🕶 Roz (Monsters Inc)

🦌 Bambi’s Mom (oops)

[julianplum]

flings myself at the feet of tumblr HI IT'S ME please accept: Some Very Professional Graphics. Small Business Saturday is here and I! have! Stickers!! and also prints and a few other things (washi tape......). ✨ I am ready to sell them to you! ✨

Are there gay nerds in your life? Do they like frogs? Of course they do! I have glow in the dark frogs for them.

Are there soft cottagecore queers in your life? Do they like mushrooms and ducklings in flower hats? Good news! I have stickers of those too.

Are you looking for a neat thing to buy for your cool goth girlfriend? I have a print called Poison Garden featuring a bunch of beautiful poisons!

Anyway, jokes aside, I really do appreciate the support from y'all, it means the world to me, which is the nice side-effect of spending your money at a small business: instead of giving money to Capitalism you are funneling it, via capitalism, to someone who is really really really going to appreciate it.

I'll also be reblogging other business' stuff all day so keep an eye out!

[cognitohazardous]

its 2024 why are people still reblogging shit like "this is the money frog reblog in 30 seconds to find a lot of money" i thought we were better than this.

[gettinshiggywithit]

Yuuji x fem reader

Hogwarts Au

CONGRATS ON THE 300 SJJSJSK

LESGOOOOO Partaaayyyyy

𝔸 ℍ𝕠𝕘𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞

Summary:What life at the greatest wizarding school in all of Britain is like,with the best boyfriend you could ever ask for!

Pairing: Yuuji x Fem!Reader [Hogwarts AU]

Genre: fluff

Event MasterList

He’s definitely a hufflepuff,just gonna put that there~

And so,lets say so are you!

He’s crazy good at defence against the dark arts without even trying…megumi’s kinda pissed

Helps you with your assignments during potions and while he gets yelled at by prof.snape,he still does it.

When it came to flying lessons in first year,buddy fell of like 5 times from different altitudes and STILL somehow survived????

When you laughed he got a little mad but was fine after you gave him a chocolate frog from your parent’s care package~

He first confessed in your second year,and when you said yes was also when you both had your first kiss! (it felt kinda forced and awkward,oh and megumi walked in,saw what was up and walked right back out.zero fucks given.)

Is he in the hufflepuff quidditch team?? YES!. He’s one of the beaters~

Blow’s you kisses when he sees you in the stands.

Gets hit in the head with a bludger right after~

Oh about sukuna? Lets say that he was an ancient spirit yall accidently summoned and he just possessed yuuji?

Dumbledor gets him out and he lives the rest of his unlife terrorizing yuuji and occasionally still possessing him~

When third year rolls around he..um… has no one to ask to sign his hogsmeade letter…so he asks ur mum! And she says sure! (he’s practically family anyway what with how often he stays over and since you’ve been dating since second year)

Oh also I headcannon that he’s a mudblood while youre a half or pureblood.

Your parents love him btw! They don’t rly care abt blood status,they just know that their daughter loves this boy and he loves her. Your dad wasn’t sure about him at first,what with how goofy and awkward he was,but then he saw just how genuine and loving yuuji really was.

Your dad hasn’t told anyone yet but if yuuji asked for your hand in marriage one day,he’d instantly say yes,and your mum is of the same mindset.

Oh btw he earns money tutoring people in Defence Against The Dark Arts and nanami gives him some…

Nanami’s kinda the group’s mum ngl… HE’S LOADED OKAYY

On your first trip to hogsmeade he gets you a butterbeer float and you share it with two straws.

Nobara and megumi are sitting in the booth behind yours with gojo and nanami,and both gojo and nobara are makin kissy faces at you while you aren’t lookin.

You see them and then promptly give yuuji a kiss on the cheek and throw them a smug look after~ (he melts and they gasp and look back at their drinks.{not before gojo gives ya’ll a thumbs up though~})

When megumi,nobara and he get into trouble you go past the detention class to blow him kisses,he blows some back,depending on which professor Is supervising them.

For your O.W.Ls the four of you study together,(and when I say ‘study’,I mean you bitch abt your O.W.Ls and how much you hv to study…megumi studies tho~)

But when push comes to shove you,yuuji and nobara end up cramming and stressing tf out!! (not megumi,he’s in bed at reasonable times because he did his due diligence when he had to~)

Once your O.W.Ls are over you all go to hogsmeade to celebreate!!!

You all pass with mostly Os Es and As; megumi gets all Os!

(don’t tell anyone but sukuna helped him with some of his history of magic questions…)

Overall,regardless of the universe,yuuji is a great boyfriend and he’ll take care of you no matter what!

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 Gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[alatariel-gildaen]

Everything's going wrong, and I really feel like I'm about to lose it.

Firstly, we're stuck in a maisonette with rising damp and mould, and the freeholders are doing precisely NOTHING about it all.

This has caused major respiratory conditions for all three of us. The worst of the damp and mould is in my disabled son's bedroom - this is what it currently looks like in there

The wallpaper and plaster have fallen away, the wall itself is actually wet, I'm cleaning mould up every day. We've had to throw away toys, bedding, books, and clothes of his that have been destroyed by mould.

We can't move, because we own the flat and no one will buy it with this problem, and we can't fix it ourselves, because its a structural issue that is the responsibility of the freeholder, and they have done nothing but ignore our pleas for the last 2 and a half years.

Ok, ready for the rollercoaster that's making me lose it? Strap in.

Now, as my son is disabled, and we're a relatively low income family, we were able to apply to the family fund for a holiday, something we've not been able to afford to do for YEARS.

This Friday, we're due to fly out to the south of France for a week. The FF awarded us £500 towards the holiday, but we had to pay the rest out of our savings, costing us just about £1200, and depleting our savings to nothing. We figured it'd be worth it - the holiday park we're going to sounds utterly perfect for him, with lots of nature, wildlife, and secure facilities with easy access. Something we simply wouldn't have even considered without the FF's help. Yes, it was still expensive, but the memories would be utterly priceless.

A couple of week's ago my car's engine light came on. Honestly something I'd probably be ignoring right now normally, but my husband was due to take his driving test in it this week before we fly out, and we are pretty sure that you can't take it in a car with the engine light showing. We managed to get it seen, and it requires around £800 worth of repairs. I cannot function without a car - it's absolutely vital for transporting my son and keeping him safe.

As I mentioned before, we've all had respiratory problems linked to the mould. My poor son seems to have a permanent frog in his throat. I've been diagnosed with asthma following a cough that I've had now since last November. A few weeks ago, my husband developed a similar nasty cough. And last week that cough suddenly got worse. He was vomiting due to the cough, in pain from head to toe, shivering and shaking.

Yesterday it was so bad, we called NHS 111, and they were so worried, they sent out an ambulance.

He's been admitted to hospital with pneumonia caused by the damp and mould. He can't take his driving test (obviously) and we are most likely going to lose out on our holiday.

I'm self employed but been unable to work much due to illness, but I'm going to have to put that aside.

So, I'm begging you, please help out a struggling artist, mother to a disabled child, and wife to a terribly ill husband. If I can book in a few pet portraits, I'll be able to cover our mortgage this month, and hopefully recover some of our lost holiday money, as well as keep my car on the road.

Here are some examples of my work.

Mostly I work in coloured pencil on pastelmat, although occasionally I can also do drafting film (if the subject allows for it) Commissions are £140 for an A4 piece and that will include postage to anywhere in mainland UK - outside of the mainland, of course I'll have to charge extra for postage.

I appreciate these aren't cheap, but a lot of work goes into them. If you could please reblog to get this seen, I would appreciate it so so much.

I am in the process of setting up a website for these, but feel free to contact me here in the meantime.

Thank you so much for taking time to read, and reblogs to signal boost are hugely appreciated

[play-now-my-lord]

i'm frog, hello! i'm raising money to help my gf keep her bank account open & cover groceries for the next week. looking for about $200. please help two broke trans girls out <3 cashapp: $asimplefrog ko-fi (paypal redirect): frogk

any help & reblogs appreciated!!!

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Harry (finally) gets critiqued for his bad clothing choices on Twitter by u/leyonoga

Harry (finally) gets critiqued for his bad clothing choices on Twitter A pretty popular menswear writer on Twitter (derek guy, @ dieworkwear) critiqued Harry's choice of clothing, basically saying he's buying/wearing relatively cheap stuff for someone with his upbringing/background and resources. The first post has over 6K likes at the moment. Comments range from being supportive to Harry, agreeing with derek guy, blaming MM (her spending leaves little money for him) and claiming it's a strategy to make him come across as more 'accessible'.The poster, derek guy, often does great threads about menswear. Last week he compared Piers Morgan's 'style' to Kermit the Frog's side by side (and Piers made a sad little vid about it, clearly couldn't take the joke) and he often gives great advice about menswear, including how to dress well for less money and how/where clothing is supposed to fit and why. It's a shame there isn't a female equivalent of him (an actual expert who makes similar well-argued posts about womenswear, not just a random fashion blogger) to critique MM's clothing choices.Twitter post: \"Prince Harry seemingly has no interest in clothes and (reasonably) dislikes the trappings of monarchy. IMO, this shows through his clothing choices (machine-made pick stitching along the lapel reveals this is a mid-tier ready-to-wear jacket).\"Twitter post: \"But I wish he would wear a different silhouette. Many of his outfits would be improved by a wider lapel, a higher rise, and better shaping. Compare these two linen suits. Heavier fabric, better shaping and more classic proportions make the one on the right better, IMO\"Twitter post: \"To me, he seemingly has no interest in clothes. my guess is that this is a j crew suit. which is fine, but surprising for someone with his resources.\"https://twitter.com/dieworkwear/status/1789692172167770299 post link: https://ift.tt/YIMqKVW author: leyonoga submitted: May 13, 2024 at 08:04PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - buying halloween stuff with seb

pov: title says it all

warnings: lot of flirty, dad jokes, mention of skeleton and fake blood? i think that’s all? Let me know if there’s more!

type: fluff!

member: sebastian moy from nsb

Taglist! (Open! Send an ask if you’d like to be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

Bold can’t be tagged.

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE VERY APPRECIATED!

So you guys decided to go to target to buy more halloween stuff for your apartment

“C’mon baby, our apartment NEEDS to look spooky! Otherwise, how the city will know we love halloween?!”

So you guys decided to go buy more (uneessary) decorations to make the Halloween spookier

I say uncessary bc u guys really didn't need all of that 😭

(More under the cut!)

I am sure that seb’s moto was once “yolo”

even though its not his favorite holiday, he still love it!

No bc he is spending his money like there’s no tomorrow

He said it’s to make you happy but ngl i think it’s more to make HIM happy...

Even more if he can pass it with you <3 how cute

ANYWAYS!!

So you guys went to target and right as you guys both entered, seb saw pumpkins

Which mean!! More pumpkins, more cooking with him (wait at Christmas when I’ll drop a cooking headcanon with him), more cutie stuff with him!

“OMG Y/N!! DID YOU SEE ALL THE PUMPKINS?!”

Yes, we did seb, thank you

He is becoming a kid all over again lmao

And it’s not even Christmas! 🤣

He would buy every little themed-fall candles he see

“WDYM???? It’s for ambience!!”

Seb would be the type to say ‘i won’t buy that much, i don’t need a shopping basket’ then ends up saying after 5 minutes ‘ok i need a shopping basket’

Lol, you now have 20 ambience for your apartment 💀

Also, he would buy halloween snacks

“YOU NEVER TASTED THESE HALLOWEEN COOKIES?!! Y/n, are you sure you are living in the same world as me, bc these cookies has been really popular since 2020”

He would hold your hands 🫶🏻 and this is amazing

“What? I can’t hold my girl’s pretty hand while shopping?”

Also, he would talk about random stuff while checking the prices

Ngl, he would put a lot of stuff in his shopping basket, then says “wait, this is kinda ugly” after like 5 minutes, then put the stuff he took on random places in the store

“Baby, do you think we should make pumpkin pie this week? DAMNNNN why is this decoration cost $40?!”

“We could be smashing the pumpkins while listening to the smashing pumpkins!! (the music group)”

He think he’s funny (he is)

“Do you think the group like to smash pumpkins while listening to their songs?”

Ngl, idek if Seb know this group since all he listen is the weeknd (no hate to him, i like his songs alright, the weeknd's a great artist)

He would be the type to say “wow, that is so cute!”, check the price and says “wow, this is so ugly!”

Boy act like he doesnt have a thousand of dollars in his bank account 🙄

Btw, Seb would make dad jokes

« Hey babe, guess where the ghost went for his vacation? »

Then you’re like « idk… » and he’s like : 😮😏

« To Mali-boo! (Malibu) »

Now, this is the moment where you either laugh or cry

You decide

« baby, do you know what's a ghost's favorite play? It’s Romeo and Ghoul-iet!! »

😐😐😐

Thank you Seb, we really appreciate it

Thanks for making us laugh ig

« wait, baby, do you know how cute we would be if we were Romeo and Juliet this year? »

« I’d be your Romeo and you’d be my Juliet »

« And I’d even give you the flower like in the movie with the weird frog »

He is talking about Nanette and this is not okay bc Nanette is like the coolest characters, why is this character so funny like-

Also, Seb would buy spooky stuff

AND THIS MAN WOULD LAUGH

And also jumpscares you

« omg, you should have seen your face!! You were shocked as hell, omg wow! Should have take a picture »

He would try to make you laugh by talking to the decoration

Also, he would see fake blood and he would literally be 😐 « i remember when you wanted to do a prank with fake blood and accidentally cut yourself so your hands had both fake and real blood… aaah funny times.. »

Like, he would see a skeleton and says « hey man, i don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but… you forgot to put your clothes on »

WDYM FUNNY TIMES LMAO, WE ALMOST CUT OUR HANDS AND HE’S SAYING ITS FUNNY LMAOO

Also, Seb would dance to the Halloween music in the store

« eeehh it’s our song, my love! »

« Why are you not dancing with me? »

When it was time to pay… oh god 🤦🏻‍♀️

apparently his card is acc working, but just know that his card used to declined every single time when he was going shopping with the boys

I am not even kidding, like Seb had like 4 cards a day just to make sure one was working

The total was $300 and 17 cents HELP

So guess who paid for all the Halloween decoration that your man bought? It’s you...

i am sorry, babe.

« I promise, my love!! I will buy the dinner and others things to compense the amount of money I’ve spent »

No bc this man agreeded to do that with you on if he was the one paying it (he convinced you with that and also said « you’ll never have to buy things when you’re with me »)

When he came back home and started installing the things, he accidentally broke your Halloween mug

« Oops…. »

RIP the $30 mug… ☕️

He just want the best for you, that’s all

He quickly went back to target and bought another one (he stole kane's money)

he didn’t even told you that he broke one, don’t tell him i am the one who snitched him 🫣

And he also bought more Halloween candies because there is never enough Halloween candies for him

And he also bought ramen bc yummy 😋

This headcanon is already super long, but shopping with Seb is either super relaxing, super cute and fun, or super dangerous and you guys are this close to be kicked out of the store 🥰 it cannot be another choice, it’s either one or two

Happy Halloween with your boyyyy, Sebastian moyyyy (if u have the ref i love u)

[mobpsychomakes]

MASTERLIST

Hi! This is an incomplete masterlist trying to compile every single mob psycho omake because good lord some of these things are hard to find. Like, "end up skimming through several chapters because you vaguely remembered it being in World Domination Arc" hard to find. All of these will either be posted or reblogged here just in case the original poster happens to delete because that seems to happen a lot. They will be linked with their names and a brief description. All omakes will also be tagged with the characters present (Body Improvement Club omakes will be shortened to "body improvement club" instead of every individual character) for quicker searching.

OMAKES:

Reigen Shits Himself: serizawa asks mob to tell him about a dangerous situation he and reigen were in and mob tells the story of the time reigen shit his pants and almost got arrested

Ritsu's Nepotism: mob tries to get extra money for the body improvement club's budget

Serizawa continues to be the backbone of Spirits & Such: a lawyer appears at spirits and such and threatens to sue

Reigen needs a dog: a dog spirit attaches itself to reigen and he keeps it as a pet named "uu-chan"

The power of spider webs: mob uses his powers to stop a soccer ball midair so it doesnt crush a tulip and ritsu blames it on "really strong spider webs"

Magic > Psychic powers: mob has a dream about getting put in a fantasy world

Perseverance > psychic powers: a flashback of mob and tsubomi as kids where tsubomi keeps asking him to do difficult tasks and he keeps trying to impress her

Teaching Mob basketball > anti-terrorism: teru puts a hold on stopping psychic terrorists to teach mob how to play basketball

Reigen goes to hell, maybe: reigen gives advice to a fortune teller

Bullied & Such Consultation Office: mob and serizawa reflect on their childhood experience with bullying

Bigfoot Hunting: reigen and mob try to find bigfoot but instead find every other possible cryptid

Reigen dies: reigen nearly chokes to death

Meat: reigen takes the kids out for barbeque

Summer Vacation: reigen takes the kids to the beach

At Long Last, Revealing Their Full Name: the full names of a bunch of minor characters who didn't have them before as well as a couple biographical details for some of them

All Nighter: a scary closeup of reigen's face

Haircut Swap Series (To Not Be Continued): mob and ritsu switch haircuts

Baked Sweet Potato: mob bakes a sweet potato on an open fire

Content: mob looks at the sky because ONE ran out of ideas

Deadlines and HP: ONE tries to refill his health bar

Prime: the yokai guy tells a story because ONE was 40 minutes from his deadline and had no omake

Character Profiles: infographics sharing some fun facts (birthday, blood type, hobbies, etc) about mob, reigen, ritsu, teru, and shou

Valentines Day: the boys receive chocolate for valentines day

Lifting: tome advises mob to use his powers to play soccer

Esper Hoshino the Show Off: hoshino uses his powers to "help" his classmates

Fire Master Asahi: asahi uses his powers to light a man's cigarette

Snot Bubble: mob falls asleep and a snot bubble from his nose enters orbit

His Favorite: mob shows off his frog umbrella

Chapter 74 (unnamed?): reigen gets stressed out about his endurance being worse than mob's and tries working out

Sense of Crisis: reigen gets stressed out about mob getting stronger than him and tries working out (again)

Salt Mid Marathon Rankings: what places a bunch of characters ranked in during the 5k

Chapter 76 (unnamed?): mezato discusses with the psycho helmet cult how to find their founder

Last Nightmare: mob has a nightmare about breaking into tsubomi's house dressed as santa claus and getting arrested

Exception: the claw espers sent after mob discuss how easy he looks to kill while he flies to their location to kick their ass

Numb: teru and mob go shirt shopping

Horror Story: reigen gathers the kids to tell horror stories

Breeze: mob's umbrella gets blown away in a storm

I Understand: serizawa meets a friend from his class

Coming Up: there's a three day weekend coming up

Bug: various characters react to a bug

Reveal: edano asks how teru's hair grew back so quickly

Honesty: ritsu talks about what he wants to be when he grow up

Monkey Dream: dimple dreams about fighting monkeys

What does a ghost piggyback ride look like to people who can't see ghosts?

Greeting: Hoshino re-introduces himself for the third time