#recovering feels better with them

[junnieverse]

TW: theft/robbery, anxiety attack, bad mental health in general (if these are necessary)

Hi everyone.

On the 19th of this month on my way home from school, I was caught up in something incredibly bad and I was robbed of my phone, laptop and WiFi router I use whenever I'm not home.

Everything happened so quickly and long story short, I can't help but blame myself for what happened even if it wasn't my fault but I am obviously dealing with the trauma of the entire event and I am incredibly anxious and on edge trying to not breakdown whenever I think about it.

Fortunately I am safe and was left unharmed but my mental health took an extreme down after those events.

Due to this I have also been feeling more 'numb' and dissociated from everyone and pretty much everything and I get anxious whenever I leave the house alone but I will do my best to feel better and not let this sour my entire year.

My cousin was gracious enough to lend me her old phone to use for the time being but I am also hoping my lost devices can somehow by God's grace be recovered in the near future.

I have been feeling really dispirited and unmotivated to do anything so I hope you can all understand if I'm not writing as much and to my moots, please understand if I am not responding the way I usually do either (I rather not respond at all than to respond unenthusiastically and dryly to you guys)

To anyone who read all of this, thank you for doing so, as I said before i will do my best to get better and simply accept that everything happens for a reason.

[inky-axolotl]

In my opinion, it was a missed opportunity to spend episode 4 watching Obi Wan recover post- Vader fight.

(Also a bit of a headcanon- hurt or lost arms and hands of course doesn’t stop you from using the force, but it takes a bit of retraining)

[ruvviks]

hanan at age 24 vs hanan at age 35 :] becoming a test subject at arasaka special programs really changes people huh

taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[amarriageoftrueminds]

I often think about Bucky using ballet as part of his recovery process / art therapy but this week I have specifically been thinking about Bucky and music.

Bucky recovering his voice through singing, and especially through playing musical instruments (for days when his voice won't come), because it would also be a great way for him to get used to seeing his prosthetic as creative and beautiful rather than destructive

[mueritos]

maybe its cuz im crazy and decided to get not just my flu shot, but also my COVID and tdap booster...all at the same time....but i have been fighting a fever since a few hours after I got the shots, been having body aches and the chills like crazy, and the concoction has given me slight nausea and just bad shits man. not even the first versions of the vaccine did this to me. like im fighting demons and am having to take acetaminophen every few hours just to feel alive....

[whack-patty]

Reporter asked if they were an ****item*****

[monstertsunami]

OKAY ONE LAST POST ABT THE FINALE. aka: how we almost got petrigrof homura/madoka level timeline fuckery

i had a huge revelation while coping. the final bus stop scene is REALLY important, i have a feeling it was a little more than a visual parallel. golbetty was basically communicating with simon the best she could by hijacking his mind and putting him in situations- the whole bit with casper and nova was her heavyhanded way of explaining to him what shes been thinking about regarding their past . not in a breakup way, not in a "were not good for each other" way, she doesnt regret it. its never been about blaming simon, he was only ever a bystander. shes just telling him how she feels, what would need to change. he realizes this and understands! she takes him to the bus stop and we all know how this goes. he passes the "test" and meets her on equal footing, shes so so happy. and she is SO ready to drag him onto the bus before he stops her. the bus stop is an ultimatum. if he follows her, they potentially both die in the mushroom war. he isnt there to take care of marcy and ooo gets overrun by vampires. every other horrific alternate universe without a simon in ooo could come to fruition if they never pursue the enchiridion. but they could start all over here, with a healthier beginning. they could both be so so happy. betty offers him the chance to go back and fix their mistakes, to study petroglyphs together. but there are no do-overs. not unless youre a god of chaos merged with a woman with a penchant for disrupting time to be with your fiance, that is! i believe this was more than a metaphor, she was 100% ready to pull some timeline bullshit to get a new begining. but this time she lets simon decide if he wants this- a chance he didnt get when she jumped through that time portal so long ago. simon makes his choice: this isnt how it happened. he has people that care for him back in ooo, hes okay with where his life has lead him. he has marcy and finn and everyone else- he doesnt want a do-over. now that hes finally seen betty again hes ready to go back and finally live the life she gave him. shes okay with this. its bittesweet but her wish contract is fulfilled, simons safe now, and she can move on. he chooses to continue his life as it is, and so she chooses to continue hers, wherever her reincarnation leads her, without him for once.

TLDR; the bus stop and the petroglyphs were an offer from betty to pull some timeline bullshit and give them a happy beginning. one last crazy chance to fix EVERYTHING. but its time to end the cycle. its been doomed since the start, and they wouldnt have it any other way.

[moregraceful]

one time my mom told me that our young neighbors loved our persimmons so much that they decided to plant some trees of their own. so they planted four persimmon trees ☠️

[featherymainffins]

Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.

[phioneplatinum]

despite how bad my mental state is lately, it still manages to conjure up funny things

(flashing lights warning!!)

[bionicbore]

Constantly thinking about Marcus and how non-robotic he was. Seems like most people enjoy/roll with that but. Idk I genuinely would’ve enjoyed a much more uncanny Marcus. He’s got hyper intelligent AI but he is very much Not  Human and doesn’t think like one

Marcus not knowing who Leo was for so long despite being in the same classes because he has built-in tunnel vision. Unless you’re directly relevant to his mission, be it as an obstacle, a target, or just necessary to maintain his cover, he Will Not remember you

Marcus not actually leaving any fingerprints on his guitar

Adam helping Marcus up for whatever reason and commenting that this kid is way heavier than he looks

Yet he somehow manages to get around without Chase hearing him

Marcus just randomly going blank while he processes new information/situations and how he’s supposed to react. From an outside perspective, this kid’s personality literally just... turns off for like half a second before he’s back to normal like nothing happened

He’s blank around Douglas a lot because he doesn’t actually need to deceive anyone, and his outward personality pretty much only turns on when he’s being interacted with. Creeps Douglas out big time whenever he actually notices it

Marcus doesn’t exactly process that he’s an android for the same reason a smart appliance isn’t self-aware. You don’t program a GPS to know it’s a GPS, let alone that you’ll replace it the minute it breaks. So despite all the additional maintenance, Marcus views himself as no different than the Rats

The extent of his programming involving the Rats is Douglas’s kids, in the same way that he is Douglas’s son. Douglas didn’t think to program anything about Marcus viewing them as his siblings

Marcus not following the plan in Bionic Showdown because, as shown multiple times, hyper intelligent AI does not mesh well with objective programming

Marcus having no qualms about throwing Chase into a meat grinder on account of his logic being “Dad wants his three bionic kids. If I kill you, he’ll still have me. That still makes three”

Douglas actually being horrified by this ‘cause he has been projecting so hard onto this android and nothing shatters those rose tinted glasses like watching it try to kill your kid

[ghostofasecretary]

had one of my long time close friends over which was SO NICE AND LOVELY and also. i got kicked in the teeth by loneliness after he left. because i'd forgotten that i'm lonely.

it was easy, it was so fucking easy, i got so many hugs and so much casual touch and it was free and simple and unthinking and i just--haven't. gotten that. for over half a year and since spring 2022 if we're talking regular doses

so anyway i have to apply for things and it would be great if i could. focus on that. instead of. having crushing overwhelming feelings and crying about them.

but since that might not be doable i will set a timer and work and if i cry during it, well, sometimes things are hard and it's survivable

and i can always call the friend i cried to about this earlier today if it's too much. but let's work for 20 minutes first. okay?

okay.

[natelia-aldelliz]

Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

[theotherrichardpapen]

nigel & alex - to be haunted by your love

henri nouwen // like minds (2006) // death - melanie martinez // pope alexander - crywank // her mother's kiss - eugene carriere // sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you - catarine hancock // the song of achilles - madeline miller // achilles lamenting the death of patroclus - gavin hamilton // lee martens

[fitzselfships]

Again, not self ship related but I'm posting it here so the person I'm talking about won't see it. Anyway I am thinking about my crush so much right now GOD I remember now how painful it is to have a crush </3

[petrichormore]

love 4haloers but y’all are dramatic as fuck (/affectionate) “ITLL NEVER BE CANON” bitch it’s already “canon” okay how much more “canon” can it possibly get???? just because two character aren’t married with two and a half kids and a mortgage doesn’t mean it’s not canon.

(Old man voice) Back in my day we complained about a ship not being canon when the two characters had never interacted at any point