#reflection post

[petrichorade]

Another year is going to change, and so does myself.

This sentence is probably the best thing I could describe, express, whatever it is about myself and the world. 2023 happens, and it's not the best time of the year. Be it for me, or for the people on any other sides of the hemisphere.

Even with all the stuffs I've written by the end of 2022, also mid 2023 where I remember writing things I'm trying to aim, I feel like I'm still straying away from those intentions. Though I also felt like "It is all okay anyway." I'm a human after all, and I will constantly changing.

To review some stuffs, I just wish to make some highlights what I've managed to do/achieve:

1. Volunteering for Film Festival. This one was out of my resolution/wishlist, but I did it? It's the first time I've ever passing interview process and thanks to this opportunity, I manage to expand my network and gain unexpected close friends who've been my hangout buddies for the past 6 months ;w; there's a satisfying feeling to make friends outside of institution/internet environment and it's so unimaginable to me that I'm actually get to experience this moment //cries

2. I'm back joining local artist alley event (Comifuro 17) and it was actually...a great experience. What I achieve here is defeating my fear of failure and breaking out from my comfort zone by travelling to other city while having to transit in 3 different railway stations //RIP MY FEET LMAO// solely to exhibit my creation. And I have intention to join again next year!

3. I learned to plug the ideology of "It is what it is." Especially recently. Though I'm yet to be able to manage my emotional state and anxiety, I think the way to face those struggle is to keep journaling, and most importantly, making myself closer to My Creator.

4. Relating to facing fear, I'm actually register myself to join JLPT N2 level test, despite all the bare minimum preparations. I've been avoiding stuffs related to Japanese studies as its giving me war flashback to my uni days. But this year, I'm actually embracing that side of my life, again, thanks to the "it is what it is" mindset.

5. I was invited to another zine project! I've been meaning to share this just a bit later once they announce the contributor lineup, but everyone shares their invitation post anyways. A post will follow soon~!

As this post is getting too long, I'm gonna make the 2nd part focusing on specifically my art resolutions. Thanks for whoever see this and coming to my Ted Talk~!

[tintedglasses]

i’m driving back home to my apartment tomorrow and i’m feeling the normal like dread/panic about it which is made worse by the fact that i don’t have a clear date for when I’m going to come back again but i think ultimately this will be good for me. my dad and brother are coming to visit in February i think which will be fun so that’s something i can look forward to. plus, it was a really tough time at home this time. there were definitely some fun things that i did and good memories that i made but i also think that having a really vulnerable last therapy session before coming back opened up a lot for me and made me really pay attention to the ways in which i feel demeaned and belittled and small when i’m here and how i don’t always feel valued.

and that prompted a lot of thinking about ways that i want my life to be different. my 17 yr old sister is getting married next month at the courthouse and moving to be with her army boyfriend in Texas (which i have been avoiding thinking about ever since i found out but had to confront the reality of this break) and she’s the main reason that i come home although she was also part of what hurt me this time. since she won’t be around though, i think that gives me a lot more freedom to travel and i’m using that opportunity to plan a Montreal trip with my best friend that i’m so excited about and really hope happens! I might also go to the hockey hall of fame in Toronto one weekend too. idk man i just want to go do things that make me happy and while visiting home as much as i did this summer/fall isn’t something i regret doing, it didn’t necessarily make me happy so it’s a great opportunity to change and find things that do.

[buboplague]

a journey of pain, growth and persistence

(prints available here)

[soaked-doors]

when it rains, it pours

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[ayalah-goulding-aub]

Viscom Level 5

As an introduction to a new year and this new chapter on my tumblr feed, i thought id set my intentions with this blog and how I intended to utilise tumblr to log my work.

If not daily, Weekly (at the very least) I intend to commit to updating this blog with my work and project progress. Last year my greatest vice as a student was how poorly I attended to my Tumblr :( this year I really want to get it right. my hope is that it will keep me on track of projects and my reflections will be more accurate and useful this way.

[greelin]

this is so real and never leaves me

[magicomens]

Happy Merlin finale anniversary to those who celebrate :)

I'm taking a small break from the comic for the holidays, see you in late January with Part 8 and a new story arc!

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[lordsovorn]

dunmeshi inner voices but it's all actual strengths of the characters

Senshi: maintain a balanced diet, listen to your body and be mindful of where your food is coming from. Don't take more than you need from the ecosystem, but remember that to live means to take.

Chilchuck: get paid upfront, get a contract, always have ways to protect your interests in a job, unionize.

Marcille: maintain good hygiene, and take care of your hair and clothes - it's nice and it's worth it. Things in the handbook are there for a reason, but tools aren't moral.

Laios: know your weaknesses and your strengths, and those of your friends. Rely on them and make sure they can always rely on you.

Falin: it's always worth to try kindness first, and to keep a heavy blunt object on hand if that doesn't work out.

Izutsumi: search for your own goals. Be open to change.

Kabru: make your own judgments, and then update them, rather than fit everything you see to your expectations. Act on your beliefs and judgements.

Shuro: always keep the cops in mind, never trust the cops. Know how to balance pressure and politeness in diplomacy.

Namari: maintain a balance between your personal and group interests. Act on your strengths.

Hien: you're staggeringly pretty as is

P. S. Banger post. Here are verified collections of links where you can donate to: Ukraine Syria Palestine

Chilchuck says: Do what you can from where you are. Every action matters, every dollar counts.

[captainharlock]

comic i made about out-aging the person i've been grieving

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

[spectral-honey]

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

[mjulmjul]

Katya / Goncharov

[hamletthedane]

Love that Oppenheimer is a deeply disturbing horror movie about a man forced to accept that he is, in a person, the representative manifestation of mankind’s evil in committing one of the greatest horrors of human history - LITERALLY acting as the modern Prometheus, tormented by his sins for the remainder of time. Knowing that he will never be pitied and his actions will forever be utterly unforgivable because the blood of genocide and the potential of total human annihilation will eternally drip from his hands.

But also the simultaneous indictment by the film that to blame a single person for the Manhattan Project is to refuse to accept your own capacity for great evil if the ends ever seem to justify the means, and the culpability of every member of a species that lets itself create something so unspeakably terrible.

Hate that twitter’s take on such a nuanced and brilliantly handled examination of those issues is “movie bad because protagonist not evil enough.”

[krazieka2]

vamps.png

[matcha-gh0st]

I was 7 years old when SpongeBob premiered, and I never grew out of it. 💛 Happy 25 to the fans and the crew!