“If you ask people in a toxic relationship, “Why do you love this person?" And the answer is… “I don’t know… I can’t describe it. It’s just like… magical. I can’t put it into words. We just have this connection. They just, feel me… you know?” They can’t articulate it. But when you ask a person in a healthy relationship, “Why do you love this person?”, the answer is very clear. “Because I respect them, and they respect me. We share the same values. We have incredible times together. I feel safe with this person.” They give you concrete evidence. But when someone's “like… magical”, and you can’t describe it, it’s because it’s a trauma bonded connection. A confusing space. This ain’t magical. It’s dangerous to go exploring, to stick around and find out . And it’s a wake up call. And opportunity to choose differently. How do you know? Go with the energy. Energy doesn’t lie. Your gut knows. Does this relationship help you grow? Does it fill you up? Does it feel nurturing? Do you feel safe? Genuinely loved? Or does it shrink you? Cause you to to be unstable, unsafe…? You don’t need words. You feel threatened, you don’t feel like yourself, you feel yourself reaching for old toxic behaviors…” ~ I wish I could remember who said this (it wasn’t me) Energy doesn’t lie. The energy says it all. (Run) #relationship101 #toxiclove #toxicrelationship #unhealthyrelationships #unhealthyrelationship #relationshipcoach #breakupcoach #cantdescribeit #dating101 #datingadvice #selflove #selfprotection #selfawareness #thingstoknow #thingstoknowinadvance #internationallifecoach #healthylove #healthyrelationships #relationshipgoals https://www.instagram.com/p/CkQkCdmunCW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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April 15, 2024
4:35 AM, exhausted yet wide awake. Holy shit, my eyes
The way time flies...
Your days away from turning 23 years old. I remember when we were 17 and 18 years old. Wow...
As we age, we grow, and early in our 20s, we've been through obstacles and stages.
- Honeymoon phase, getting to know each other as more them distant friends. Pure perfection
- Beginning of life stage. Barley 19 and in our own apartment. Thriving to be consistently in a peaceful place. Walking on eggshells
- Reconcile stage. Everything seemed impossible. We were unhappy but somewhat happy at the same time. At least, that's how I felt. Desperately army crawling to the next 'level'.
- Growth stage. The future is near. We both started college. I finally felt like I had a purpose. Finally, I saw light at the end of the tunnel, not only financially and career wise, but within our relationship. I had a hobby, the drive I lost a long time ago. Marriage; 10.02.2022 • Las Vegas, NV
- 2023 stage, 2 year mark. It was still at a bumpy intersection, but closer to the vision. Steady jobs, consistent academic schedules. Started to meet each other's needs; it's not perfect, but it's a start.
- 2024 stage, present time; 3 year mark. We got the house, we have a backyard, peace. We are consistently trying to plan for our future, ways for a smooth transition. The love is real.
Like I said, it's not perfect, and it's bumpy, but we're at the point where we know what we need to do to. Thank you for trying even during times when it seemed impossible. The ship has finally sailed.
Happy almost birthday, my angel. Over and out
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Love Upgrade: Unveiling the Secrets to a Thriving Committed Relationship
Remember that exhilarating rush of new love? Stolen glances, whispered secrets, laughter echoing until dawn - everything feels perfect, a kaleidoscope of shared dreams and endless possibilities. But hold on, lovebirds, before you get swept away in the whirlwind romance, let's acknowledge the inevitable: the transition from casual dating to committed love can be a bumpy ride.
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Suddenly, the initial fizzy magic simmers down, replaced by the realities of shared laundry, untangled headphone cords, and the occasional bout of questionable morning breath. But fear not! This shift isn't a harbinger of doom, but rather an exciting upgrade, a chance to move from the appetizer course to the main event - a delicious, nourishing meal that requires more than just a quick glance at the menu.
Think of it like this: you've graduated from the exhilarating first level of a video game, the one filled with easy wins and flashy power-ups. Now, it's time to level up, unlock new skills, and navigate the complexities of building a truly thriving relationship. So, grab your partner's hand (virtually or otherwise), buckle up, and let's embark on a journey filled with practical tips, expert insights, and real-life stories to help you conquer this exciting new level of love.
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Communication: The Unsung Hero of Happy Ever Afters;
Let's be honest, communication is the ultimate power-up in any relationship, and the transition to commitment throws a spotlight on its importance. Gone are the days of cryptic text messages and unspoken expectations. Now's the time to unlock the power of clear, open, and honest communication that bridges the gap between individual needs and shared desires.
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Here are some communication hacks to equip yourselves for victory:
Master the art of active listening: Truly listen to understand, not just to respond. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and ask clarifying questions. Remember, it's not just about hearing the words, but also the emotions behind them.
Express yourself with clarity and empathy: Don't expect your partner to be a mind reader. Communicate your feelings, desires, and concerns openly and honestly. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual understanding and respect.
Embrace the "I" statements: Instead of accusatory "you" statements, focus on how their actions or words impact you. This fosters empathy and encourages constructive dialogue, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for growth.
Celebrate healthy conflict: Disagreements are inevitable, but it's how you handle them that matters. Approach conflict with respect, focus on finding solutions together, and avoid sweeping issues under the rug. Remember, healthy conflict resolution strengthens your bond and helps you navigate life's challenges as a team.
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From Butterflies to Building a Fortress of Love:
Remember that initial spark? It's still there, simmering beneath the surface. But now, it needs to be nurtured with shared experiences, common goals, and a sense of purpose that goes beyond Netflix marathons and weekend getaways. Think of it like building a fortress of love, a strong foundation that can withstand any storm.
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Here are some bricks to solidify your love's foundation:
Define your values and goals: Discuss what's important to each of you individually and as a couple. Do you share similar values on family, finances, or career aspirations? Aligning your core values sets a strong foundation for navigating life's challenges together.
Set realistic expectations: Ditch the fairy tale fantasies and embrace the reality of long-term love. It's not always fireworks and rainbows, but a journey filled with laughter, tears, growth, and shared experiences. Remember, true love thrives on authenticity and shared understanding.
Nurture individual growth: Remember, you're two unique individuals coming together. Encourage each other's passions, hobbies, and personal development. This keeps the spark alive and prevents codependency, ensuring you bring your best selves to the relationship.
Create shared rituals and traditions: From weekly movie nights to Sunday morning walks, establish small, meaningful moments that solidify your bond and create lasting memories. These rituals become the threads that weave the tapestry of your love story.
Keeping the Spark Alive: Beyond the Honeymoon Phase
Let's be honest, the initial intensity of new love can fade. But that doesn't mean the spark has to die! It simply needs a little rekindling from time to time. Think of it like adding fuel to the fire of your love, keeping it burning bright and warm.
Here are some tips to keep the passion burning:
Make time for each other: Schedule regular date nights, even if it's just a quick coffee break or a walk in the park. Remember, quality time strengthens your connection and rekindles intimacy. Don't let the busyness of life extinguish them.
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