Raindrops
Raindrops were attacking windows of Tonks’ apartment like there is no tomorrow. Every now or then, a loud thunder sounded more like an explosion since the streets were empty, peaceful and quiet. Tonks was sound asleep. Actually, she hasn’t slept like that in days, maybe weeks. Remus Lupin was always her medicine, but he was also the reason she stayed up in the first place. Her lifeless arm fell from the bed, as she turned to lay on her stomach. Remus’ snores didn’t bother her anymore, better yet she grew to enjoy them. When he would stay the night with her, she would usually fall asleep after him. She couldn’t sleep without knowing he’s sleeping too, getting as many hours of rest as he could. And in that moment, both of them were so peaceful, calm, even though their bodies weren’t touching.
Suddenly, Tonks was awake. A strong pull made by Remus pushed all the air from her lungs, since he grabbed her right around her torso. In fact, he pulled her so close that she could feel his steady heart beating right on her spine. His snoring instantly ended, and he was now breathing softly, burying his face in her hair. The scent of his breath, and his warmness suited Tonks, even though she didn’t like being woken up like that. She wiggled herself making him the perfect big spoon, tangling her legs with his.
She smiled, not even noticing, as Remus’ left arm emerged under her pillow, and placing itself right on her left palm. Remus was in the deepest sleep he could possibly be, but still the feeling of her skin made his heart beat a bit faster. And for the first time, Tonks felt that. She felt what kind of influence she really has on him. Not emotionally, not sexually, but physically. This he couldn’t control, and he was the most self-controlled person she’s ever seen. He couldn’t also control his urge to grab her hand and intertwine his fingers with hers. Even in his most unconscious state, he had that need he mostly thought it was a curse. The need to feel her presence in any possible way.
Tonks’ look was fixed on their now holding hands. She observed how his palms were bigger than hers, how his fingers were longer, and once again, she was surprised by how soft his hands were. Even with him being underground.
“He’s beautiful” Tonks thought in the most sincere way possible. She smiled sleepily, still looking at their hands. She couldn’t believe he’s here.
Her smile disappeared as soon as that thought penetrated her mind. He really is here. She hasn’t seen him in weeks, and he stopped sending her patronus messages too. He cut her off in the worst way possible, but she still didn’t give up on him. Because she knew he’ll be back, even in those moments she was frightened for his life.
At that moment, all the feelings she kept inside ever since he left the first time overwhelmed her like a cold shower. The feeling of being abandoned, the insecurity in their relationship (if they even had one), the insecurity in his judgement, the feeling of being unwanted, even when she knew he wants her by his side.
Those moments in his cottage after Sirius’ death and Gwen’s disappearance were only moments Tonks could honestly say she was content, even with all the awful things that happened. The question that was sitting in her mind constantly was why they couldn’t be that way all the time, without grieving of course. Those were one of those moments. She carried him, and he carried her. She knew that wasn’t only out of fear of being lonely, as he said the night he was leaving before. She knew that in those moments, she became the most important person in his life. And that scared Remus like hell, even though she couldn’t understand why.
Tonks started playing with Remus’ fingers, kind of hoping he’ll wake up, but she knew that’s hardly possible. The thoughts of everything that happened couldn’t leave her mind, and she knew that sleeping is not an option now. She decided to gently roll on the other side, to see Remus’ face. His lips were slightly open, but he looked so calm. Tonks wiggled her hand from underneath the covers, and touched Remus’ cheek, gently caressing him.
“Oh, if only you’d understand…” Tonks lost herself in the moment, thinking about how much she grew to love him. She never expected that, but it happened.
Moments passed, and Tonks was still sleepily watch Remus sleep, following his breaths with hers. When they were together, they were one. No matter how much time has passed, that didn’t change. Her eyes occasionally shut, but she couldn’t fall asleep. So, she could only enjoy the moment and the scene in front of her. The man she loves. Calm. Peaceful. Because she was there, but she didn’t realise that just then.
“I really can’t sleep if you keep staring at me…” Remus murmured, much to Tonks’ surprise. Her cheeks immediately turned red. “Don’t morph the blush” Remus continued, as Tonks’ eyes widened. His eyes weren’t even open, and he knew she was blushing.
“I’m sorry… Couldn’t sleep so I...” Tonks started stuttering uncontrollably. “Honestly, I enjoyed you being here. Sorry to wake you up, still not sorry for loving you.”
Remus smiled, but his eyes were still closed. He pulled her closer, kissing her gently on the top of her head he now tucked under his chin.
“I never said you should be sorry for anything, Dora” his voice was now much clearer.
“I know, I just…”
“And I never said I’m sorry I love you,” Remus moved his head, lifting her chin to see her face clearly. “Because I do. I do love you.”
Tonks was speechless. He only said it once before, and that was in the middle of an argument. He slipped it like child spills a secret, and he was mad at himself he ever did that because that was Tonks’ ultimate weapon. He couldn’t deny it after that and she wouldn’t ever believe his feelings disappeared.
“I’m not afraid to say it, Dora. I love you with all my heart, and being. I thought I would never love anyone like I love you. And that’s that.”
She jumped to kiss him so hard and passionately. Tonks craved to hear those words again, not even knowing it. All the feelings that ate her were gone in a mere second. He is here and he loves her. And in that moment, nothing was more important than that.
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It’s About Time
Harry Potter fanfiction
request for @crescentnightwood: Remus arrives in the afterlife and he, Sirius, and James share an emotional group hug? Marauders reunited
Summary: Remus wakes one last time.
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Lily, Tonks
Word Count: 1,316
Warnings: Feels! I refuse to include Pettigrew in this because he stinks :) I went a little extra beyond just a hug, hope you don’t mind :3
The first breath he took felt as clear and cold as the first snowfall of winter. Remus shot up from where he was lying down, his entire body tense and brimming with an electricity he couldn’t understand.
It was bright around him, very bright. Everything was a hazy white, but he recognized the old Gryffindor dormitory immediately. Even with the muted colours and tidied room, he knew this place like the back of his hand. A place he often fled to, a place in which he hid, when the outside world became a little too much to bear.
He grabbed at his chest, were he felt a dull pounding, but it wasn’t his heart. No, his heart wasn’t beating anymore, and he slowly remembered why. He remembered flashes of light, Hogwarts in ruins, searing pain, and Tonks.. by his side.
He turned his head, glancing around. He was on his old bed. Somehow, it fit him this time. It shouldn’t have, because his legs were always long and dangly, but it did.
“Tonks?” he asked into the stillness.
“She’ll be coming soon, mate,” a familiar voice said from his right. Startled, Remus looked to find Sirius suddenly sitting on his old bed too. Dressed in edgy black, with the same shit-eating grin on his face, he lounged backwards and clasped his hands behind his head on the pillow.
“Sirius? What in Merlin’s name..”
“You should’ve seen him when he first got here,” James laughed from his left. He was sitting on the side of his own bed, spinning his wand nonchalantly in his hand. Remus twisted his body the other way so quickly he may have snapped his spine had he not been dead. “His jaw was on the floor.”
“Well that’s what happens when you figure out you’re dead, Potter,” Sirius cackled.
“I don’t believe it.. the both of you..” Remus kept looking between the two men sitting beside him, eyes brimming with tears.
“Oh now, don’t start sniffling Moony, you only just got here!”
“Yeah and it’s about time!” James added. “There’s plenty of people you still gotta get through before the waterworks start.”
“Well excuse me for being emotional at seeing my best friends in person again,” Remus grumbled, rubbing at his eyes.
James grinned at Remus and pushed his glasses up his nose, like he always did in school.
“Why here?” Remus asked. “Is there a specific reason we’re in the Gryffindor dorms of all places?”
“Because this is where the magic happened, Moony!” Sirius threw his hands up like a great declaration had been made. “All the Marauders, mischiefing their way through school, terrorizing the teachers and still making it out in the end without any Ministry on our asses!”
“All the Marauders?” Remus pointed out, looking at the one empty bed across from him. A silence fell over the three wizards.
“He’s not welcome here,” Sirius said coldly. “We don’t even bother with him.”
“Hm. Still, feels a little incomplete, don’t you think?” Remus asked. “It was always four of us Gryffindors, together.”
“Do you have room for a female Marauder then?” Remus looked up to see Lily sitting on Peter’s old bed, her red hair the brightest thing in the entire room, and he sucked in a breath.
“Lily!”
He smiled, remembering her kindness, her wisdom, and her sharp wit whenever faced with James’ stupidity.
He remembered learning about her being pregnant with Harry, the teary voice and the hug he received. He remembered her as one of his dearest friends, and the pain he’d felt when knowing she and James had been killed.
He must’ve shown it on his face, because Lily got up and came to sit next to him and grabbed his hand in hers. Her touch was warm and he wiped away the next wave of tears again.
“Geez, you really became an old sod didn’t you?” Sirius piped up. Lily chucked a pillow at his head, and he snorted.
“It’s good to see you, Remus,” Lily said to him, rubbing his back. “James wouldn’t stop talking about what you did for our son.”
Remus smiled weakly, “I did what anyone would’ve done in my situation. He.. well, he needed help, didn’t he? Without his father around, I figured..”
Remus paled a little at his own words, “Father... his.. father.. oh God.”
The tears ran freely this time, hot and real, and he pressed his hands to his face. The bed dipped as Sirius came to sit on his other side and James next to Lily.
“I had a son too, a boy... Teddy,” Remus choked out, “I left him behind. Alone.”
“Oh, you didn’t leave him behind, you idiot. Look! You’re still thinking of him, still caring about him, you just can’t be with him physically, that’s all,” Sirius clapped him on the back.
“Plus, you really think our Harry will let that boy be on his own? Hm? You made him his godfather, and if he learned anything from you or Sirius, it’s that you don’t always need your biological family to feel at home,” Lily smiled kindly at him, reaching over to grasp James’ hand.
“Not to mention the Weasleys, wow! Merlin’s beard, were they ever the saints?” James laughed, making Remus chuckle. “Can’t wait for you to see Fred again, Remus, he-,”
“Fred? What happened to Fred?”
James stilled, “oh, shit. Right, you weren’t with him.”
“Fred died in the Battle too, Remus,” Sirius said, his tone quite serious now. “He’s been saying hello to a bunch of old ginger relatives at the Burrow. We can visit him too, if you want.”
“Oh, poor Fred..” Remus sighed. “What losses war brings. Terrible.”
“It’s not all loss, I don’t think. You lose the land of the living, sure, but you get to be with people like us, again.”
“That’s probably worse,” Remus said, earning him a slap on the back of his head. But, the newly reunited Marauders chuckled, and held onto each other tightly.
“Lily, what you said about Teddy, being alone.. do you mean that-,” he could barely say it. “Tonks?”
Lily’s face was that of sadness, and she nodded slowly. “She’s outside.”
Remus looked to the door, his heart sinking. He had never wanted to put her in this much danger, never wanted her to risk so much..
“She wanted to give us some time with you first, considering how long it’s been, but we can go get her.”
“Or we can go to her, if you want. Stretch those legs, we can show you around.”
“Oh? What else is there?”
“Oh plenty of places! Sirius got here with the rooftop from where he escaped on a Hippogriff, and I got here with the Quidditch playing field.”
“What, so you appear in the areas that you miss the most?”
“Not necessarily, its more a place that means the most, or has a lot of substance in your life.”
Remus was quiet, and then looked at his two best friends, “we all got here with a place in Hogwarts, huh?”
“It is a pretty special place,” James smiled.
“Now come,” Lily ushered them off the bed. “Remus needs to see Tonks, and then we have to get ready to see Harry.”
“Wh-Harry? He isn’t dead, is he?”
“Oh no! He’s just got the Resurrection Stone, and is going to want to see us soon.”
“How do you know all that?”
Lily grinned, “a mother’s instinct.”
They got up and let Remus lead the way, opening the door to be greeted by Tonks, grinning and beaming at him from their son’s first bedroom, lights dangling along the ceiling and a crib filled with adored stuffed animals.
She threw her arms around his neck and laughed, a sound he had so missed. Remus closed his eyes as both Sirius and James place their hands on his shoulders, and he felt at peace.
A/N: I’m not crying, you are!!!
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continued from here for @heroicintention
Remus closed his eyes tightly, scrubbing hands over his scarred face. “We can’t keep pretending that we can do this, Tonks. This… It isn’t going to work.” You deserve better. He could shout that at her. She deserved someone her own age, someone without his affliction that could give her a life– not make her another outcast. It would’ve been one thing if his ‘furry problem’ had still been unregistered. Maybe he could ignore the rest if he could still get a job.
“I haven’t even got a home to go to. I’ve never had one– I’ve nothing to offer you…” A sigh left him. He’d been staying with Sirius, off and on. Disappearing off by himself time to time. He had been planning to go back to what he did in the early years after the war. Integrate back into the muggle world for a bit, get a job in a shop where he could at least provide for himself. But with what Dumbledore had planned, it was no use. He’d be running soon. “And.. I’ll be off soon, anyway. For I don’t know how long. And.. I should go now.”
Nymphadora took Remus’s hands in hers, lacing her fingers over the fronts of his hands so that her fingertips touched the rough skin of his palms. “Who says I’m pretending, Remus? Who says you are? Anyone who doubts how I feel about you, well they’ll get a million howlers from me,” she countered, blinking away tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. He couldn’t see her cry. It would look so desperate and so very juvenile. “What does your heart say? What do you want? I mean, really and truly? ANd what if I found someone else, huh? How would you feel?”
She shook her head. Her lips curled under in further attempt to stop the tears. “Doesn’t matter. I have a home. You can live there with me. There’s even a woodshed you can use if you don’t feel safe or I could go there during that time. It doesn’t matter to me. And you have so much to offer me! Love, support, friendship, companionship, chocolate. What more could a woman want? Huh?” she asked. “If you go, I’ll go with you. I’ll follow you anywhere. I don’t care I just want to be with you.”
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