#respect psychotic people's wishes

[ms-morphine]

I delete my dni for like 2 days to rework it a bit/format it better and then fuckers just flock to my account

I HAVE MY DNI FOR A REASON MF!!! BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE ON THAT LIST INTERACT WITH ME I WANT TO PUT A GLOCKY IN MY MOUTH

I HAVE PSYCHOSIS I GET ATTACHED TO CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T REAL AND WHEN I SEE CERTAIN SHIT IT TRIGGERS ME. YES I AM ON MEDS, NO THEY DON'T MAKE THE FEELINGS GO AWAY. ALL THIS SHIT MADE ME 🔪🩸🩸🩸 BECAUSE THE DHMIS FANDOM DOESN'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO BEHAVE

Feel free to block the rageposting tag if you don't want to see me be a unstable rabid bitch

[theaspsaroaceimagines]

Regarding your Death Deity!Reader, I wanna see their relationship with Lucifer. Are they friends, associates, or just simply acquaintances? Do they respect each other when they meet and go on, or do they stay to have a chat with one another?

Oooh! Yes! Thank you for this ask!

Lucifer & God of Death! Reader

So, to start, the relationships between supernatural beings can be weird.

For example, Lucifer's "mistake" is the reason you exist.

Making him technically your father-equivalent.

But, also, he had no direct hand in your "birth".

So technically, you're not related to him at all.

But also also, you were created by the same Creator who created Lucifer.

Making you technically siblings.

With all that in mind, you have a neutral-positive view of Lucifer.

Without him, you wouldn't exist, but also without him, you wouldn't be so busy all the time.

Still, you know he didn't mean any harm, so you're generally friendly with him whenever you cross paths.

Lucifer's views on you, however, are a different story.

He sees you as one of the worse side-effects of his meddling.

Without you, people wouldn't die.

But he also understands that you're a temporary solution to the problem of evil and suffering.

And he recognizes that you try to be a positive in his life.

He just wishes he could stop being uncomfortable around you.

All this adds up to your meetings being a little awkward.

For example, because you're so busy, the last time you saw Lucifer was before he and Lilith split up.

So when you meet up with him during your vacation, and you ask how his wife's doing...

He has to awkwardly tell you that they've been split up for quite some time.

That's what you get when you don't see someone for a thousand years, you ask accidentally sensitive questions because you're not up-to-date on their life.

Your relationship's improved since you both got on-board with Charlie's project, though.

What can I say? Charlie brings out the best in both of you.

Where he used to barely politely acknowledge you when you crossed paths, the two of you now strike up friendly conversation.

It's refreshing, since you're usually met with wariness, fear, or, worst of all, psychotic devotion. You really hate the people who worship you...

These days, you like to call Lucifer a friend.

[justzawe]

I just came back from a VERY long Tumblr break. I was here during the peak of "hiddlestoner" mania- when Tumblr revolved around Marvel, Supernatural, Sherlock, and Dr. Who. I'm honestly not shocked at the level of delusion, racism, and sheer insanity some of these fans have exhibited when it comes to Tom and Zawe. I wish I could be surprised, but when I step back and look at the rise of Trumpism and idiots who are QAnon believers, it's not surprising that fans would twist themselves into knots to claim the baby isn't his and Zawe is holding him captive (or whatever psychotic shit they can come up with). They can be packed into the same looney bin as the QAnon people who believe we're getting injected with micro-chips and JFK Jr. is still alive to come back and assist Trump in a coup. Aside from the clear signs of neglected mental health, these people attempt to claim some sort of a delusional ownership over Tom. He will never go back to "pre-2016 Tom" you know why? Cause the "fandom" scared the fuck out of him and he realized he needed to protect himself and those he loved from the same crazies who claim to know what's happening in his private life but don't know the man from a can of paint. He's fiercely protecting his family from them because he recognizes they don't respect him or respect boundaries. I watched and listened as fan encounters grew increasingly aggressive and inappropriate. I could only imagine the fear/anxiety/discomfort he must have dealt with during some of the moments described in stories about these fan encounters. The absolutely unhinged behavior exhibited by the same lot of people who are attacking Zawe are the reason he will never return to pre-2016 Tom and I, for one, believe that's a good thing. I hope they continue to protect their privacy and peace as a family and I hope the conspiracy theory haters die mad about it.

This is so on point, anon.

You can really see how protective he is over Zawe when they’re in fan spaces. I think part of that is he wants to make sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed by the crowd since she’s mentioned experiencing anxiety in that setting before, but I definitely think it’s also because he knows how aggressive and unhinged his fans can be.

I’m thinking that after his fans went insane when he dated Taylor, he knew that if he was going to ever have something real and long lasting with someone, he was going to have to change the way he was with his fandom and the media. He’s still great with them, but you can see the difference. Good for him tbh. He has to protect his family.

[susieandhobbes]

I know a lot of Richonne fans get annoyed by Jessie due to Those People but it's actually comedy gold if you imagine Jesse surviving and her and Rick (who was basically mid psychotic break at this point) attempting a relationship. Every possible version of events is just MESS

Option 1: The entire Anderson family survives the walker invasion of Alexandria

Everything else remaining constant except the immediate events leading to their respective deaths - Ron still hates Rick for killing his dad, is actively plotting to kill him, and TRIED TO MURDER CARL in the garage. Somehow I feel like it will be very hard for them to Brady Bunch that shit with one familial murder and one attempt. Also Michonne lives with the Grimes so are they or Michonne moving out? Because if Michonne is in another home, Rick is suddenly going to be in a shared custody situation where he gets Carl and Judith every other week. comedy. I almost almost wish Jesse didn't die just because the Rick and Michonne divorce arc before they even start dating would have been kinda amazing. Also has Carl ever in his life spoken to Jesse? The vibes would be awful.

Option 2: Jesse and Ron survive, Sam Dies

Again, as long as Ron is alive there's the whole attempted murder issue happening. Also Sam dies because one of Rick's little friends traumatized the shit out of him and yeah Jesse wouldn't know that but if her husband and son died in like a 3 week span and she thought that was the time to ride a cowboy, I mean - come on.

Option 3: Jesse and Sam survive, Ron Dies and/Or Option 4: Only Jesse lives

These options are super fun and possibly my favorite because, again, leaving everything else constant and Ron dies exactly the way he dies in the episode - Jesse and Rick are starting this relationship while she mourns her son, who shot out the eye of his son, and was killed by his best friend/roomate. And guess what - Rick wouldn't say shit to Michonne. Can you imagine Jesse trying to be mad at Michonne - it'd be like "SHE KILLED MY SON" and Rick would just shrug emoji that shit off lmaooo

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

I wish that calling out for psychosis was a normalized thing. It’s just as valid as calling out as with the flu or a stomach bug and can be just as debilitating as an illness, but no one takes us seriously so instead we go to work unstable*

*not in anyway implying that physical disabilities are treated as better or respected more in the workplace, especially when it comes to time off, just that there isn’t an option available for psychotic people who need help

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

cw cultural appropriation? descriptions of trauma (including CSEM, stalking, psychosis/mental health)

Not sure if it counts for this blog but three of our main protectors are siblings all of which are a creature from local native mythos, we're bodily white (well, we're technically metis (mixed white+indigenous) but we're just at the cutoff so just white ig) and we always get flack when we talk about any of those alters' source.

the reason they all split was because of a traumatic event where our mother was psychotic and we went through "shared psychosis" (never diagnosed, but we were psychotic while she was, had similar delusions, etc) about the creature(s) stalking us and our mother, about one posessing us (which was very likely just one of our alter's attempting to talk to us, she attempted to tell our mother to take us somewhere safer and get help) and about basically being chased out of the area. The event was traumatic in many other ways (specifically our mother selling nudes of us (at the time 14) for gas money) and anyways it all culminated in them all three splitting.

the issue arises when we tell people their origin without any context, they say we're culturally appropriating, but none of the alters want to "change their source" specifically because the trauma endured litwrally made them trauma holders in a specific way that only makes sense to our brain if they stay the same. we try to use language that's respectful (hence us not naming the thing in question, and frequently just saying they're shapeshifters rather than the whole truth) and its so fucking annoying that its one of our top reasons for wishing we weren't a system

that sucks.. we are white ourself so we cant talk for POC people but i feel like.. we really need to remember alters cant control their source, and they cant control why they were made.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for schizospec systems!

Living with mental illness can be incredibly difficult, and being plural on top of that can bring its own unique set of challenges. However, it is possible to struggle with mental illness and still live a happy life! This post is for all the schizospec systems out there!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems whose plurality is inherently tied to their schizospec disorder, or who consider themselves hallucigenic, psychogenic, or another xeno origin!

✨ Shoutout to systems with schizophrenia, schizotypal personality disorder, or schizoaffective disorder!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who are often paranoid or struggle to maintain relationships due to their disorders!

✨ Shoutout to systems who are in treatment for their schizospec disorder, whether that means voluntary inpatient stays, individual or group therapy, and/or medication!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who aren’t seeking treatment for their schizospec disorder for whatever reason (treatment is not a requirement for you to deserve autonomy and respect!!)

✨ Shoutout to systems whose psychosis has had a neutral or positive influence on their life!

⭐️ Shoutout to schizospec systems who are often confused, have muddled or fragmented thoughts, or struggle to effectively express themselves!

✨ Shoutout to schizospec systems with disordered speech, flat affect, and difficulties with their moods and emptions!

⭐️ Shoutout to schizospec systems who are POSIC, objectum, or otherwise able to connect and communicate with objects!

✨ Shoutout to systems who are questioning if they have a schizospec disorder, or are struggling with many symptoms without a diagnosis!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who primarily have tactile and olfactory hallucinations, or uncommon, weird, or unorthodox delusions!

The world is often unkind to people struggling with heavily stigmatized disorders - psychotic and dissociative disorders especially! We want you to know that you belong in our spaces! You are a vital part of the plural community just the way you are, no matter how your plurality or schizospec disorders present themselves!

Please treat yourself and your system with kindness and self-compassion. You deserve to heal, to celebrate your individuality, and to embrace who you are! We’re wishing you a bright and happy future, and are rooting for you in all that you do. Thanks for reading, and take care!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[yanderes-galore]

i was thinking about a concept for Waylon Jones/Killer croc with a Arkham Asylum intern who respects him and only wants to help him, even with his appearance. Could you do it?

I can try, kept it general. Darling acts as a psychologist.

Yandere! Waylon Jones/Killer Croc with Arkham Asylum Intern! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Murder, Blood, Kidnapping implied, Trauma, Possessive behavior.

His backstory fits this type of darling so well.

Waylon hasn't experienced much, if any at all, respect due to his appearance since he was young.

He never really expected that to change while he grew up.

He was seen as a monster, so he must be a monster.

He always treated others with aggression, giving into his role.

It was getting difficult to give him treatment in the asylum.

Even with the muzzle, cuffs, and other restraints... he still acted violent.

Waylon was unwilling to listen to reason.

Then they brought in a fresh face, a new intern trying to learn their craft.

Your first encounter started like all the others.

He glares at you from his restraints while you come in with that stupid clipboard.

He snarls, acts like how society sees him.

However... you're rather patient.

"I can't blame you for feeling this way. From what I heard... your history with people is poor due to their judgement."

He scoffs, playing it off like you didn't affect him.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Why would I mock you? I know how cruel people can be. They just don't understand you."

"What makes you think you understand me?"

"Maybe not yet... but I plan to."

Waylon acts like you don't connect with him.

Although it really is hard to hide the excitement that's visible when he sees you.

He perks up when the door opens, even more if he heard you behind it.

You can tell he's more relaxed when you talk with him.

He doesn't like talking about his past, but you encourage him.

You try not to be physical with him due to his strength and size.

One time out of habit you put your hand to his scaley skin, he then flinched back and snarled.

Last time you did that, unfortunately for him.

Your comforting touch really made him yearn.

It doesn't matter if he sees you romantically or just as someone to cling to, you become the best therapy he could ever have.

The downside was you made him want to break out more now-

Only with you did he feel some sort of tranquility.

It irks him that he can't properly delve into your care.

You see him as a patient... while he wishes he could hold you and take in your warmth.

Things become an issue when he's let out. (most likely by another inmate, like Joker)

Maybe you're in the building, maybe not, either way he's going to hunt you down.

He doesn't care who he has to tear apart to find you, he will.

You haven't convinced him he isn't a monster, no.

You've just made him believe you care for him, even as a monster.

Then you surely must know him being covered in blood while blocking you in a corner is expected, right?

You should've know what you were getting into.

"What's wrong, doctor? Expected the monster to change so fast?"

He may be gentle towards you, but others aren't so lucky.

Like an animal, he's possessive of you.

He appreciates you trying to help.

Now he doesn't want to let you go.

You're fearful, in tears, all while scaled arms hold you to his chest.

Blood seeps into your hair and clothing... deep growls rumbling against your back.

He never takes his eyes off you.

If anyone comes in and tries to take you from his claws, he roars.

You try to warn them;

Don't come any closer!

But you can't stop Waylon launching off you, ripping into the supposed threat.

Waylon, who you thought your treatment worked on, was now covered in blood and staring at you.

His stare holding such psychotic care.

He promises he'll treat you as well as you did him.

Sure... you may be living in the sewer with him, yet it doesn't matter.

He cares for you...

He'd kill for you...

He'd be a monster if it meant keeping you.

"Come on, doc... I thought you understood me?"

[schizopositivity]

Hey, I hope your doing ok and I love your posts, even though I don’t have schizophrenia your posts help me see from other perspectives and be more open minded and considerate.

So anyway in the past week I came across two posts from two different people that were on tik tok that said (jokingly) “none of these people know I have schizophrenia” and it was a picture of an empty room.

I felt the need to share this and I was wondering what your opinion on these “jokes” are. but I don’t get how people can say people with schizophrenia are evil and then turn around and make harmful jokes about it.

And I don’t know if you have tik tok or see any posts like these but I was wondering how you deal with them (or how I should deal with them)

I don’t have tik tok and I refuse to download it but posts like these give me anxiety I do try to avoid these posts but when they cross my path I get angry and upset and I wish these people were educated enough to not make these jokes.

I hope this makes sense and I you have a good day

Thank you! I'm always grateful to see nonschizophrenics follow this blog just to get a new perspective, it brings me hope that people without the experience can still have enough respect and understanding to listen to people like me.

And yes, I am very aware of these types of "jokes". It's common enough to have the name "schizoposting" and I hate it so much. That particular joke has been done many, many times, and the punchline is the person with schizophrenia. These types of "jokes" range from making fun of symptoms like hallucinations, making fun of people who take antipsychotics, or triggering delusions just because people think it's funny. (Sidenote a lot of these "jokes" seem to think hallucinations are usually like seeing full people for long enough, and not being scared by them enough that they are your friend, when that actually isn't a very common hallucination at all and I think that idea comes from misrepresentations in the media.)

I hate these "jokes" for a few reasons. First they are making fun of real mentally ill people who can, and do see these posts. I do not see what's funny about making fun of serious symptoms that people actually suffer with. I didn't choose to have these symptoms or this disorder, it's not funny to me at all. I honestly don't see "jokes" at the expense of people with any other mental disorder by people who don't have the disorder nearly as often as I see jokes about schizophrenics by nonschizophrenics. I've never even looked for them and they just show up. My partners TikTok (which they don't use to look up any schizophrenia content) will just have them pop up. And I rarely see any backlash to this content that I would expect in this time where a lot more people are aware of mental illnesses and mistreatment of those who have them. Secondly, these "jokes" seem to assume that actual schizophrenic people won't see them, or they just don't care. Honestly a lot of people don't realize that schizophrenic people actually exist and actually participate in life and online. Thirdly the "jokes" that purposely trigger delusions/unreality can be very harmful to psychotic people. Once again this isn't funny at all. Fourthly this just adds a new layer of stigma to the already highly stigmatized disorder of schizophrenia. We are still seen as dangerous and scary, and also just existing, taking our meds and having symptoms is funny to people who don't experience it. I honestly have very rarely, if ever see people who are not psychotic stand up for psychotic people online, it seems much more people are willing to just laugh at us.

For people like you who are not schizophrenic and see this content online anywhere, please report it as harassment and don't leave a comment/reply. Even if you are commenting to educate, the algorithm will just see this as engagement and possibly push it out to more people.

For anyone reading this who is schizophrenic/psychotic and you see this content, report it if you feel comfortable with that, and block the account.

These "jokes" shouldn't exist, and everyone should be able to see how rude and sanist they are.

For me, when I see these posts I get angry, but I try not to look at them too long, and I don't attempt to educate those people. It's not worth my time or energy and I think if everyone with respect for schizophrenic people just ignored them it would be helpful. Unless you personally know someone who is posting these "jokes" and they can listen to you, you can try to educate them. Honestly it comes down to letting nonschizophrenic people know that schizophrenic people are human beings that deserve basic respect, because they may have never been told that before.

[faust1926]

nonpsychotics will take gerard mcr's psychotic traits and use them to dehumanize him into a character as part of a fictionalized band "lore" and it's like. I wish people wouldn't but idk how to articulate the problem exactly, and idk how to articulate any alternative (cause the alternative wouldn't be to ignore those traits either). maybe just... acknowledgement that he has psychotic traits. like, instead of acting like it's just some quirky goofy fake lore character magic fanon to make butchered catholic comparisons over, acknowledge that he is a real living person who experiences real psychosis -- including the fact that it's not always fun to experience and he has spoken openly about treating parts of it.

least controversial example: treating the fact that he experiences auditory hallucinations as if it's some kind of superhuman magical gift and is part of why he's so talented, special, or saint-like, is weird and dehumanizing to begin with but especially when he has spoken openly about treating his hallucinations with psychiatric medication. it's dishonest at best to not acknowledge this as a psychotic symptom, which he has put effort into minimizing, and strange for nonpsychotics to try and turn it into something less grounded in reality instead. as a psychotic bystander, it feels as if these experiences are not being respected and it feels as if these experiences are not being seen as real.

[ryuichirou]

Isn't Sebek yandere material when it comes to Malleus? Just a thought.

Do you have any Yandere Sebek x Malleus headcanons?

Sebek would make a wonderful yandere, he is psychotic enough as he is lol I think his loyalty mixed with just how unhinged he gets in general would make a very nice combo, because while the usual yanderes are somewhat calculating, and Sebek isn’t stupid by any means, he is still very impulsive and a bit childish, I guess.

We really love yandere themes, as you probably already know, so thank you for asking! Here are some headcanons.

Sebek’s intense feelings for Malleus are usually a nice comic relief, but he could actually get quite dangerous if someone was to seriously mess with Malleus. A lot of times Malleus either tells him to calm down or simply ignores/runs away from him, but if he didn’t and the situation got a bit too far, Sebek would snap. Malleus knows about it, Lilia also knows about it. Silver is very careful and vigilant around him, but he doesn’t realise the full scale of Sebek’s unhingeness.

Sebek is very jealous in general, but neither we nor even his closest people realise just how jealous he is. The moment Malleus gets involved with anyone romantically, Sebek would get overwhelmed by a whole new level of jealousy. Flirting with Malleus is actually even more of a sin to Sebek than trying to attack or assault him. Lilia is the only exception – Sebek respects him and accepts his place by Malleus’ side, he feels unworthy of being jealous with these two. That being said, he really wishes to take Lilia’s spot one day.

Malleus is too powerful, amazing and respectable for Sebek to confront, but he would still make Malleus’ lover’s life a living hell. He would be petty, he would sabotage them, he would try to make Malleus hate this person. He would spend so much energy on this, it’s pathetic. And if Malleus got mad at him, he would stop for a while, but get super bitter – Malleus’ attitude towards him changed because of this person. Which means, this person needs to disappear.

If there was a student who liked stalking and photographing other students, and he got accidentally (or not) caught by Sebek, Sebek would spend all his money on pictures of Malleus. If this isn’t Rook Hunt (lol) and just some rando, Sebek would even break his camera and maybe even mess the guy up. And even though he got these pictures to get rid of them, he won’t be able to: the image of his liege is too otherworldly for him to do something like that. So yeah, he’ll keep them.

Yandere!Sebek sounds like some kind of cultist fanatic who thinks that Malleus’ touch is divine and precious, and he is just like that, but he could also get capricious and selfish with him. He can’t hurt or manipulate Malleus, but he can release his frustrations when he’s having sex with him (if Malleus is foolish enough to let him sleep with him).

In fact, the latter could trigger this whole thing. If Malleus starts sleeping with Sebek, Sebek would jump from “I can’t believe I’m doing this, I’m so unworthy” to “I am the only one who is worthy and everyone (Malleus included) should acknowledge that”. Thank god Malleus is way too strong for Sebek to kill everyone and then him and them himself lol

[mail-me-a-snail]

explain your silvervance playlist

let's get to it! this got very. very long. tumblr only allows 30 images per post so expect a part two :3

⭐1.) twin skeleton's (hotel in nyc) - fall out boy

the silvervance playlist kicks off with vance's post act 1 theme--the song that follows him out of the grave and into the next life with johnny in his head.

johnny's engram saved vance; kept his head together even if chunks of the merc's brain matter were slipping through his chrome fingers, in a manner of speaking.

when the relic saved vance's life, it marked him for death, too. jackie might've taken the bullet for him, but death is gonna find vance one way or another.

⭐2.) hysteria - muse

johnny resides within a new, uncooperative body, hates every second of it, and decides to make it vance's problem.

johnny himself has come back to life after 54 years of not-so-eternal death; didn't even know he was dead until he was walking upright again, until he was shocked back to consciousness. but it's not a real life--it's not even his to begin with.

⭐3.) come a little closer - cage the elephant

vance runs through johnny's memories; he gets to see night city's infamous rockerboy for who he really is, who he always has been: a liar, a faker, someone who claims to hate control but wants it, anyway. seeing his memories is as invasive as johnny seeing vance's--but johnny, surprisingly, says come take a look. see who've you've got in your head.

they're in this together, now. there's no going back.

⭐4.) infidel zombie - the dickies

with the theft of the relic and the revival of arasaka's public enemy #1, the megacorp is sending its best out to hunt them down.

after having escaped arasaka thus far, vance is on high alert. it doesn't help, either, that takemura--one of their best guard dogs--will only vow his service to vance as as long as they rescue hanako--the very face of arasaka itself.

⭐5-7.)

meanwhile, johnny and vance are still fighting over ownership of the latter's body. johnny wants one thing, vance wants another, and both of them hate this sense of dual autonomy. but little by little, they're becoming more alike.

my body is a cage - arcade fire / this body means nothing to me - shrimp / mark on you - the mountain goats

⭐8.) psychotic opera - small leaks sink ships

hellman gives them the low-down: vance isn't gonna make it with johnny still in his head. the best he can do is die comfortably.

but alt offers them a possible solution--find her where she resides in mikoshi, deep in the heart of the very tower vance had sworn he would never go back to, and she just might still be able to separate them.

this is the point of the playlist where vance realizes separation may be more painful than what would inevitably happen otherwise. he doesn't understand yet why he feels this way. only that johnny has been with him for some time now, enough time that being without him would feel...odd.

⭐9-10.)

they both have their own regrets about their respective lives, conjoined as they are now. they mourn for what could've, should've been. they mourn for what'll never happen--for the world, maybe, or maybe what'll never happen between them.

what was it johnny said? this is why you don't bring back fallen warriors: sooner or later, they're gonna see everything they fought for's turned to shit.

wish i knew you - the revivalists / all these things that i've done - the killers

⭐11.) granite - sleep token

but things aren't all that bad. vance falling in love with johnny was as inevitable as it was wholly consuming; he had never realized how lonely he had been until the ghost had come along. johnny is one of the only people in the city who understands what it's like to pass through it daily, to never feel your feet on the pavement, to just keep going.

even if the alt cunningham (or an engram of her), has offered them a solution herself, a very small part of vance is afraid it won't work. this is arasaka they're talking about; they'd need a miracle to undo the damage the megacorp has done.

he is afraid of dying.

but if that is how he can be with johnny--

--then he'll take it, even if it's in death.

✨12.) ordinary love (extraordinary remix) - U2

THIS. THIS IS IT. this is THE silvervance theme song. you'll recognize these lyrics as being the title of their fic series. ordinary love is just. it's the song that illustrates how much love johnny and vance have for each other.

vance doesn't want johnny out. he wants both of them to get their lives back--to live the life that was taken from them, together.

⭐13-15.)

in my head, these songs are intercut with various missions. they take place, chronologically, after my fic poltergeist (ie, vance and johnny have established the rocky foundations for their relationship). i think the lyrics speak for themselves.

rain - sleep token / slowly spilling out - saint motel / chokehold - sleep token

part 2 here

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Ahh, finally used expelliarmus on you-know-who? Well 👏🏼 done 👏🏼. It was long overdue 😂 💕

Bloody hell guys.

I woke up, did my things, then I checked Tumblr and there were messages like this one, people writing in my DMs that you-know-who (for lack of better terms) is attacking me...

Like, wtf?

I feel trapped in a mystery novel where I witnessed a crime, tried to do something about it, and somehow ended up as the prime suspect for the crime.

Yes, I know, you people told me to block him ages ago, I'm an idiot, you were completely right.

Mea culpa

There, I said it.

Also, because I'm curious af, I can't help it, I went to see what the hell he wrote and what he's claiming he said it's not even what he really wrote under the post and it's completely decontextualised. Is this how someone feels when they get trapped in a conspiracy?

I'll start from the beginning so everyone can understand.

I published a post where I fundamentally celebrated some of my favourite female characters.

One of those was Ginny. And of course, every time I say anything remotely positive about Ginny (who is probably the main topic of this blog) he had something negative to say in return instead of just... I don't know... stop following me????? Like every decent reasonable human being?????

One of the things I said was:

And also breaks that idiotic pattern of the hero ending up with the helper. Ginny is truly a character who deserves her own saga.

So, of course, under a post that celebrates female characters, in a blog that is very Ginny-centered, he felt the need to comment that Ginny for him was a helper even if not as close as Ron and Hermione.

Now, of course, I was supremely annoyed by that comment, and I had three options here:

Leave it there

Answer it disagreeing with it

Erase the comment

I didn't want to leave it there because well, first of all, it annoyed me and this is my blog but also because I don't want my posts used to spread ideas with which I disagree. You are free to do that with your posts, but not with mine (also, he could have easily just reblogged it and said what he apparently absolutely needed to say).

So I could answer the comment, I already did it plenty of times, but I exactly because I already did it plenty of times with this specific person, I knew it would have been pointless as usual.

So I erased the comment. Seemed a reasonable solution. It's an option I have, a boundary that I'm absolutely free to set.

He re-wrote the comment under the post.

I know, nuts.

Maybe he thought it got cancelled as a mistake? Possible, I re-erased the comment.

He re-wrote it.

This happened like four times.

Every single time I checked Tumblr he had re-written the comment. I went to sleep with the comment erased, I woke up with the comment there again, I erased it, and five minutes after the comment was there again. Surpassing by a long mile a boundary I had every right to set for myself: not having comments under my post that annoy the fuck out of me, written by someone who takes as a personal insult every post I make about a character I love (because obviously the fact that this was the 50000th post in which this subtle bashing happened played a huge factor, a behaviour displayed in such a way that lead multiple people multiple times to tell me to block him).

So I just decided to block him. Seemed the reasonable route at this point.

I don't want to be followed by someone who can't take a hint and can't respect other people's boundaries.

Turns out I wasn't exaggerating considering that he started leaving that comment under my fanfictions on ao3.

I wish I was joking but it's totally true. And now I'm wishing I hadn't erased them so you could all see the absolutely psychotic behaviour.

And now, apparently, he is writing posts on Tumblr about me.

Anyway, if this to you sounds like something normal to do, please stop following me.

I'm in no way against people disagreeing with what I say and telling me (I would prefer the asks box for that though), I'm against people who do it with no valid argumentation and more importantly obsessively.

[creepiefarm]

i think what bothers me so much about the casual way people headcanon Hoody as being ableist towards Tim/Masky, especially in a "he uses Tim's psychosis to control him" way, is that most everyone seems to understand that it's Weird and Gross to do that with other bigoted headcanons? like everyone understands why headcanoning a character as a transphobe is super gross and weird, but no one seems to get it for ableism.

i understand that Hoody was pretty awful to Tim having a seizure that One Time, and it was absolutely not ok. but jumping to like "oh he uses his psych knowledge to manipulate and hurt Tim" is like. really gross? like it's treated as a "spicy" and "Hoody is soooo messed up lolz" way, instead of like. u are talking about something that happens irl every day. something that gets disabled people killed In Real Life. it's treated flippantly like some typical angst in fiction, instead of the very serious reality many disabled/psychotic people experience.

so like, i wish this fandom treated ableism more seriously, and was more thoughtful with the content it puts out around the canonical schizophrenic character. i want everyone to understand that ableism kills, just like other forms of bigotry. it is in no ways less bad or deadly, it is not a new problem, and it is a topic that is equally worthy of respect in the way it is portrayed or talked about. even in fictional settings. if you would not feel comfortable headcanoning a character as a racist/homophobe/transphobe/antisemite, ableism needs be included in that as well.

[positivelybeastly]

🖤 for cable !

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

Hank has changed Nate's diapers. If this were purely objective, then he'd rate Cable higher, because Hank actually really goes in for older men, but even with time shenanigans . . . that's still baby Chris to Hank, at least on some level.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

Hank very much respects Nate's tactical mind and incredible handle on time - he's got some personal experience with how much it can bite you in the ass if you don't wrangle it right - and he knows there's few people you can depend on more in a fight for survival. That being said, he does find him a tad irritating just because he flits in and out of things on a dime. He's not unreliable! Just unpredictable.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

Diapers. Diapers, Nate. I also feel like Hank would kind of regard any of Scott and Jean's children as very much off-limits, even with time shenanigans in the mix - before the Bad Times, Hank regarded Scott and Jean are very much brother and sister, and Nate basically his nephew.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

I don't think Hank and Nate tend to hang out very much? Of Scott and Jean's kids, he's probably spent way more time with Rachel. That being said, an X-Man is an X-Man, and I feel like he'd have been a lot more opposed to Rictor joining the 90s X-Force team if he didn't trust or approve of Nate.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Let's be real here, before they knew what Cable's deal was, he was a seemingly violent soldier who toted guns bigger than most teenagers, he would not have been Hank's first choice of casual hang out buddy or teammate. That being said, once he revealed himself to be a man of honour and, later, family, that softened immensely.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Cable is one of the few people on the X-Men with a level of expertise on a certain subject - time travel - that Hank will defer to. That actually means a hell of a lot. And even with all the Utopia X-Force crap, I don't think he would have ever held that animosity towards Scott against Nate. Nate proved himself to be the genuine article many times over.

[schizodiaries]

kinda need to vent a bit about the situation with my medication

I know I mentioned several times already that I was going to stop taking Abilify but there’s just one obstacle that’s preventing me from doing so. My bf does not respect my wish to be unmedicated. I had planned to taper off Abilify earlier this year but every time I bring it up he shuts me down and says it’s better for me to stay medicated.

His reasoning is that I’ve been stable for this long because the medication is clearly working, therefore I should continue taking it to reduce my symptoms and prevent a relapse. It comes from a place of genuine concern for my health, which I appreciate.

But while I understand his perspective, my desire to go off my medication comes from a place of concern for my health as well. While I haven’t had any immediate side effects from Abilify, I’m worried about long term side effects like tardive dyskinesia or metabolic issues. I’ve had nasty side effects from different antipsychotics in the past, which thankfully were only temporary, but I’m worried that if I stay on Abilify for too long that I will develop permanent side effects from it.

I also was recently diagnosed with prediabetes, and I’m trying to reverse it by eating healthier, exercising, and losing weight (I’m close to obesity) and while my psychiatrist told me Abilify is the antipsychotic that’s least likely to cause weight gain, I still think it might be contributing to my struggle to lose weight. (I’ve also heard of people that developed diabetes while on Abilify, but I don’t know if there’s a correlation between them or not.)

But above all, the main reason I want to stop taking Abilify is because…. I just don’t want to take it anymore. It feels unnecessary, it feels unneeded, and I trust myself to have enough insight into my illness that if I do become psychotic again I would be able to handle it a lot better. I never planned to take Abilify for too long, I just needed it to combat the psychosis I was experiencing a year and a half ago. And once I was back to “normal,” I would stop it.

But my boyfriend, being stubborn as he is, does not agree with my plans. He thinks I should stay on Abilify for as long as I can, for the rest of my life even. He thinks that if it’s clearly working, then stopping will only cause me to relapse. And he doesn’t want me to be psychotic or be forced to stay in a psych ward again. He’s worried that stopping the meds will do more harm than good. No matter any of the reasons I give for wanting to stop taking Abilify, he will not support my wishes. And I’m kind of pissed about it because it feels like he isn’t being respectful or understanding of my situation.

The absurd part is, I told him I’m 100% willing to return to antipsychotics if in the future I have another psychotic episode. I’m not quitting them completely, I just want to stop taking them now that I’m in a stable spot because I feel like I don’t need them anymore. And despite that, he still doesn’t think it’s a good idea to stop my meds, even if it’s temporary. In fact, he said himself he would rather I experience the side effects than go through another psychotic episode.

So I bring up that he has ADHD and he’s unmedicated. So why can’t I be schizophrenic and unmedicated? Why the double standard? His response to that is that the worst that could happen to him is he has trouble paying attention, sitting still, and getting things done. Meanwhile the worst that could happen to me is that I could lose touch with reality and hold false beliefs and see/hear things that aren’t there, which he thinks is more severe than his symptoms. A fair point, but I still feel like he’s being hypocritical.

We’ve had this conversation about stopping my meds four times already, one of them being a two hour long debate on why I should or shouldn’t stop taking the meds. And he has the nerve to say he’s tired of having this conversation and that he doesn’t want to have it again. Basically saying his word is final, without actually saying that. I don’t even know why this is something that’s up for debate. I don’t why I even need to explain myself to him. Shouldn’t the simple fact that I don’t want to take the meds anymore be enough reason for me to stop taking them? Why do I have to prove something to earn that right? Why can’t I be in charge of what goes in my body? Even doctors and psych wards can’t force you to take medication you don’t want to, so why does he feel like he has the right to?

Idk anymore. I love my bf and I understand his perspective but I just feel like I’m not being listened to, I feel invalidated and disrespected, and I just want off this fucking medication. I shouldn’t need some grand, indisputable reason for me to stop taking them. I shouldn’t have to give him thousands of explanations for him to see why I want to stop my meds. I should be able to make my own decisions for my own body and mind.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk