#reviews are early christmas presents

[darlingdarkly]

New Year, New You Part 3

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x f!reader

Personal Trainer AU

4.7k Words

CW: dubcon!, dark fic, dark content, obsessive behavior, dirty talk, explicit language, E rated, NSFW, smut, 18+, mature themes

Part 2, 4

The next day is what you can only describe as controlled chaos. The office is a whirlwind of papers, people and pieces of presentation sent to and fro across the building. Maureen in marketing needs approval from Mark in finance who’s busy balancing the budget for this year and the spreadsheets from last year. Sharon has been on the phone for Three. Whole. Hours. trying to make sure the prototypes will be ready before noon tomorrow.

Tom called in sick and Mrs. Magna told Nancy to tell him that if he doesn’t show up today to never show up again. Period. That was ensued by a thirty minute yelling match between Nancy and Tom that ended when you gently took the phone from Nancy’s white-knuckle grip and told Tom if he didn’t come in you’d personally shove your foot up his ass.

Tom was in the office fifteen minutes later, quarantined in the conference room with his laptop, a growing mountain of crumbled Kleenex and very, very, grumpy. The day dragged on and on and while people who had finished with their portion of the project headed home for the day you stayed, even after your piece of the pie was secure, because at the end of it all you knew it fell to Nancy to review and review and review the final product for any mistakes and you weren’t about to let her do it alone.

As you worked, you caught up with each other, not having time to really talk since the white elephant party over a week ago. “So how was break?” You asked as you filed away two early projection models in their appropriate folders. She sat cross legged in front of you, stapling documents together. “It was nice, mom came this year, and I thought it would be a lot more barbaric but it actually was very civil. I'm proud of them for working out their differences. The way it went down last year I was still cleaning fruit cake off my ceiling a month later, remember?”

You giggled together because you did remember. That was Nancy’s Christmas reunion debacle from the previous year. You hadn’t been there but you did drop by to help her clean up and have a little wine. A bottle and a half in you both were too drunk and giggly to climb the ladder and scrap the candied fruit and cake from the ceiling.

“What about you? Did you go see your parents?” You smiled and answered. “Yeah they’re doing good, they said to tell you hello by the way. My brother too.” And the side eye she gave you was hilarious and aggravated all in one. “What? He still asks about you.” She rolled her eyes and restacked the papers in her hands. “Well he can stop.” You laughed as she shook her head. “He’s still got a crush on me after all this time.”

“Yes! He’s obsessed! I don’t know why you won’t go for him, it’s not like you’re seeing anyone anyways.” She scoffed at you. “I am not dating your brother. Not after what he did.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Nance, you can’t still be on that.” She looked offended. “After we both nearly drowned at the lake that summer. You remember, he practically pulled me under!”

You laughed remembering. “He was trying to save you!” She laughed with you and pushed on your arm. “Yeah well he sucked at it. We both nearly died.” You both were in fits of giggles at this point, papers nearly forgotten in the glow of your memories. “Besides, how do you know I’m not seeing anyone?”

Your eyebrows raised at this. “Ohhh, something to confess?” She looked up from her work, eyes sparkling. “You know the guy that moved in across the hall?” You did. You both had run into him one day coming back to her place for a drink after a Saturday outing together. “You mean Mr. Dark Eyes, the one who came over and fixed your window for you?”

She practically beamed. “That’s the one. He asked me out for drinks tomorrow night.” You waggled your eyebrows at her and she laughed and rolled her eyes. “It’s not like that. He’s just being nice.” It was your turn to give her an accusatory look. “It’s absolutely like that Nancy! He’s into you. I can see it! I think you should go for it, I’m glad for you, it’s time you got a little action.”

She picked up the stack she’d finished stapling and set it to the side, beginning another. “You and I both. I mean it’s not like you’ve been seeing anyone either.” You paused, thinking of Johnny. You wouldn’t call it seeing someone, but there was something between the two of you, it was momentary, your lapse in response but enough for her to notice and immediately catch on.

“Oh my god, wait. You have been seeing someone haven’t you?” You immediately refuse. “No.” “Bullshit.” “Seriously! It’s nothing.” And she wouldn’t stop until she’d pried it out of you so you began recounting your encounter at the gym, leaving nothing out.

“You’re fucking with me.” You shake your head. “No, I’m serious. Just like I told you.” She put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. “He legit did all that?” You nodded and she smiled. “I think you should go for it.” Your jaw dropped. “You’re serious?” She nodded. “Oh yeah, he’s totally into you. All that weird shit just means he’s obsessed. Is he hot?”

You immediately nodded. “Oh yeah, he’s strong and tan. He’s got this pretty white smile and dark hair. I knew he was a personal trainer the minute I saw him.” She hummed approval. “Definitely go for it.” You laughed nervously. “I don’t know, we'll see where it goes.”

The sun had long descended past the horizon, but you had it done. Two hundred and fifteen pages of statistics and sales projections that concluded the project. You both cleaned up the papers and put everything away. She turned to you when the elevator had stopped at the ground floor and the cold night air chilled you as the doors opened. “Wanna go out for a drink, I know I sure could use one.”

You shook your head. “I’m beat, I’m going home, eating and sliding into bed.” She nodded in understanding. “Don’t forget your homework.” She winked at you mischievously and giggled as you let out a frustrated groan. “I’m thinking about skipping it.” She shook her head. “Better not, with what you’ve told me so far it seems like there’d be consequences.” And she was right, who knew what kind of thing he’d cook up if you slacked out on it. You said your goodbyes and headed home.

You find yourself in front of your door, mentally exhausted. You slide the key in the lock and feel it give as you push the door open and walk into the cool interior of your home. Flipping the lights on you drop your purse and jacket on the couch and head for the kitchen. It’s been a long day and you hadn’t even had a chance to go grocery shopping this week but you’re pretty sure you at least had a couple of eggs left in the fridge.

If all you could manage was a few scrambled eggs before you did your homework and fell into bed then so be it. You’d eat better tomorrow. You open the door on the fridge and are immediately taken aback by what you see. It’s fully stocked. There’s a whole pack of water bottles on the bottom shelf of your fridge. The chiller drawer is packed with spinach, sweet peppers, broccoli and carrots. There’s deli meat and boneless skinless chicken breasts, a few types of cheese and a new gallon of milk. Individual packs of yogurt and gatorades in all different flavors.

You open the door on your freezer to find a few more frozen packs of chicken breasts, pounds of lean hamburger meat and sausage. Rushing to the cabinets you pull them open and find low carb tortilla wraps and bread, granola bars and some kind of chips called “Veggie Straws” that you’ve always seen on the shelf but never tried.

As you turn around you finally notice the bowl of fruit on your counter. How could you have overlooked it walking in? Bananas and apples and oranges, all ripe and fresh. You didn’t do this. Either you were losing your mind and key moments in your life we’re missing like puzzle pieces lost or someone had been in your house.

Your eyes widen, breath hitched. They could still be in the house. You turn around and survey the space around you, the dark comforting tone had a queer eerie feeling setting in around the edges. The corners and shadows leering with the unknown. Nothing looked out of place or was missing, but what kind of a person came into a home to stock the fridge and leave without taking anything?

You checked the doors, the windows, no broken locks or pried open hinges, no immediate signs of forced entry. Your shoulders stiffened when the realization hits you, it takes your overworked mind a moment to remember but there it was. Your gym bag, you were nearly certain you had closed it but it was open when you opened your locker to change. Johnny.

You grabbed your purse and pulled your phone out, flicking through your contacts and hovering over his name. You momentarily waver between calling him or the police. What were you going to say? Yes officer, my home has been broken into. Did they take anything? Well, no. The opposite really. What did they leave? Groceries. Lots of them, stocked my whole kitchen with fresh meats, veggies and fruit. Yeah, we’ll get right on catching the ever elusive grocery fairy, ma’am. Top priority, don't you worry.

You started the call and he answered on the second ring, tone light and cheery with enthusiasm. “Bonnie! How was work?” You skip the pleasantries. “Do you have something to tell me, Johnny?” And you don’t know why you expected him to take the matter seriously.

“Aye lass, I did think about ye all day, sometimes with mah cock in hand, how’d ye know?” His response momentarily scatters your thoughts to the wind but you take hold of them once more and push on. “What? No! Johnny, have you been in my house?” He laughs, actually laughs. “Oh that. Yeah, did you check the fridge?”

Your brow furrowed in frustration, of course he doesn’t see it as an intrusion instead of some kind of regular thing. “Johnny, how did you get into my house?” You sit down in a chair and what he says makes you bolt upright again. “Easy, hen. I just made a key.” You’re pacing now. “You made a key to my house! How?”

And he says it casually like he’s explaining how to tie a shoe or giving someone easy directions. “I went into yer bag, found yer keys, pressed it into a mold and had one made. Simple really.”

“You can’t do that Johnny.” He interrupts. “S’alright Bonnie, I’m yer personal trainer.” There it is again. That phrase, like it’s the simplest thing to understand in the world, normal even. He’d picked you out, told you he was going to train you, you didn’t exactly protest and now anything was fair game, including crossing every single kind of boundary you could have and making copies of the keys to your home so he can come and go as he pleases.

“Besides, yer fridge was empty. What were ye gonna have fer dinner?”

“None of your business. And what if I don’t know how to cook? Did you think about that Johnny?” And this seems to be the first real thing to give him pause. “Yer right, lass. I didn’t even think about that. I’m about five minutes away, I’ll be right over.” Your eyes widen in panic. “No Johnny! Don’t come over!”

“S’alright lass, it’s really no trouble. I’ll be right there.” The last thing you needed was him showing up at the door. “No! Johnny I’m serious, don’t.”

He’s quiet for a moment and it feels long, you almost expect a knock at the door, even though he couldn’t possibly be there that fast, unless of course he was lying about being five minutes away and was actually right outside the whole time, or even in the house still.

“Alright. I won’t come over on one condition.” You grab for it, ready to agree to anything that will keep him from showing up. “Yes, anything.”

“I want ye tae FaceTime me while ye do yer homework.” And you’re almost relieved with the simplicity of it, but there was an underlying unease that you couldn’t shake, what was he up to? You answer slowly when you can’t come up with a good reason to say no. “Ok, I’ll call you back.”

But before you can hang up he interjects. “No. Don’t hang up, talk to me.”

“Talk to you? About what Johnny?” You start to look around the kitchen for what you’re gonna have, if he’s making you talk to him the whole way through it then it’s better to get started now. “For starters, How yer day was.”

It starts slow, your relinquishing of the accounts of the day, but as time went on and you kept talking it all just came to the surface. The stress of the day, the brutal meticulousness of it, and he made it so easy, he was so attentive, listening and responding, asking questions and letting you vent it. He even laughed so hard when you told him about threatening Tom that you couldn’t help but laugh with him, bent over in front of the stove as you let the stress bleed out of you.

It felt good, right even, like something you'd been missing out on, a key component you hadn't realized you’d been without for so long. And you found a peculiar twinge of adoration for him in the bottom of your heart, like tea leaves spelling out your heart's true desires, whether you like what you read in them or not, there they were.

You sat down to eat and he told you about his day as you ate. It was much more appetizing than a plate of scrambled eggs, you had to admit. You nearly choke on a cherry tomato when he tells you he missed you. “It’s only been a day since you last saw me Johnny, you can’t miss me.” And is there longing in his voice, or just your tired mind playing tricks again? “Aye, but I did.”

There’s a momentary pause, a space of uninterrupted silence, pregnant with things unsaid. You finally break it. “Well, I’ve got dishes and then I’ll do my homework.” What he says next makes you smile, and you’re glad he’s not able to see it. “How will I know ye’ll call me back?”

“Don’t be stupid, I’ll call you. If not, you'll be pounding at my door, won’t you?” You can hear the smile in his response. “Better believe it, lass. Call me.” And he hangs up.

You quickly finish up your dishes, change into something comfortable, just a tank top and shorts, and prop your phone up. Pressing the call button on Johnny’s name in the contact list you see the screen go black as you wait for him to pick up. Your image is reflected back at you in a little square in the top right of the screen and you use the time to adjust your hair and pull the hem of your shorts down lower to cover more of your thighs.

His face pops into frame and he’s smiling ear to ear and you ignore the eruption of goosebumps on your arms when you see it. “Hi, lass” You back away from the screen and into the open space you’ve made in your living room to do your exercises. “Hi Johnny.”

“God yer beautiful.” And you feel your cheeks heating under his compliment. “Stop it, Johnny. Let’s crack on.” You see him sit back on his bed as he responds. “Alright lass. Start.” So you do, starting with the sit ups. You don’t have him there to hold your feet so you slide them under the couch to hold you steady as you do the exercise. He talks you through it, counting for you so you can focus on just your movements, keeping track of your pauses in between sets so they’re evenly spaced and consistent.

“Good lass, now yer toe touches.” You rise and face the camera, bending down with legs straight as your fingertips brush your toes. “Good, just like that.” And each line of praise is like a shot of vodka, a shock of ambrosia to your system, intoxicating. You know he’s looking down your shirt with each rep, but it’s a thrill you find exhilarating instead of embarrassing for once. Halfway through he has you turn around so he can make sure you’re not dipping at the knees.

You do the first one and he groans, quiet but you still catch it. You call over your shoulder and ask if he’s ok and he clears his throat, voice full of audible gravel even in his one word response. “Aye.” You finish and all that’s left is your lunges and stretches. You bend your knees and step into the first lunge, one leg at a time til you reach your goal of ten.

You’re finished and you turn to face the camera, you see he’s laid down on the bed, eyes intense and holding yours even from the small screen of the phone across the room. “Stretches now, lass.” He sounds out of breath and you wonder what you’d see if he flipped the view to his back camera.

You sit on the floor, legs V’d and begin to stretch them wider and wider. You curse your decision for shorts and blame it on being tired and not thinking it through. You know the crotch of your shorts is pulling taut against your pussy, barely covering your panties as you stretch further and further. You start to strain, little puffs of breath and groans escaping your lips as you widen your stretch. “Hold it, bonnie.” And you do just as he asks, holding it against the potent pain accumulating in your calves and inner thighs. “Just a little more, doing so good fer me.”

You hold it for another five seconds and he finally lets you release. You’re breathing heavily as you draw your legs back together and if you aren’t mistaken you think you can hear his labored breathing as well. “Johnny.” His voice is thick with strain. “Aye, lass.”

“What are you doing?” His smirk is devastatingly handsome as he speaks. “Nothing yet, lass.” You feel emboldened and press your luck, eyes connected with his as you command him. “Flip your camera Johnny.” His eyes hold yours raptly for a few seconds before he does as you ask and the shot flips to his chest and legs lying on his bed. He’s got a dark blue comforter and you can see in the frame a pull up bar and a few weights on a rack in the corner, just what you’d expect but the first thing to catch your eye is the raging bulge in his gray sweats and your breath hitches as his hand comes into view, wrapping around the base of the stretched fabric and adjusts it to better accommodate his length.

“See what ye do tae me, hen?” You do see, you can’t look away as his hand squeezes himself through the cloth cage. Your mind, overworked and fried is trying to get you to say something, anything, but the only thing that will compute is his name. “Johnny.”

“Get up and sit down on the couch, lass.” His voice holds a tone of gentle authority, you could probably protest but you’re tired and trying to swim against the current of what your body wants is a task you’re not up for at the moment, so you give in and let him command you.

You sit on the couch at first, eyes still glued to where he’s fisting his cock through his clothes. “Sit back, hen and spread your legs.” You do sit back but you don’t spread your legs, at first. “Come on, bonnie. Jus’ like we practiced.” So you do, not as wide as you would when stretching but enough to give him a view and the tingles of anticipation thrumming through you has you on edge, like you’re standing before a cliff and about to jump, there’s no going back from this.

He groans and you watch with keen eyes as he pulls his sweats down until he’s just in his boxers, the same dark blue shade as his bed spread. “Ye wanna see more, lass?” He’s tempting you and it’s working, you do wanna see more but it’ll come at a price. “Yes.” He wraps a fist around his cock and you shift uncomfortably as your panties dampen. “Take yer shorts off.”

You sit up and tug your shorts down your legs, feeling dirty but heightened as you do, like you’re liberating something inside yourself even you don’t quite understand. He hisses air through his teeth as he spots the wet patch quickly growing and soaking the gusset of your panties.

He pulls his boxers down and his cock springs up into view, finally free and it makes you bite your lip. He’s thick and has length to boot, a good seven inches of it guessing by the comparison of his hand up against it.

There’s a neatly trimmed patch of dark hair spreading out from the base and you can’t help but moan as he wraps his hand around it and begins to tug lazily. His voice is husky and deep when he speaks.

“So pretty, hen. Are you that wet all fer me?” And you’re beyond words so you just nod, eyes glued to the way he tugs on himself. He curses under his breath and your pussy aches from the lack of stimulation. You snake a hand down your chest, descending toward the pain, itching to relieve the tension. “That’s it, lass. Let me see ye touch yerself fer me.”

So you do, just overtop of the fabric, a roll of your fingertips overtop your clit, enough to make your head tip back and moan blissfully. “Good girl.” You look back up to see him working his shaft in earnest, firm grip and steady movements. You feel emboldened by his reactions and lean forward again to rid yourself of the cloth barrier. He stops and watches as your pussy comes into view for the first time.

“Steamin’ Jesus. Fucking gorgeous.” He resumes his movements as your fingers settle over top your bare clit and you start to rub tight little circles over it, just how you like. “Show me Bonnie, show me just how you like it.” The sexual tension between the two of you, the stress of the day all come to a head and you reach down to spread your wetness up and around your clit, moaning low and sultry as he watches you play with yourself.

You reach your other hand up and squeeze one of your breasts through your top and look back up into the screen. Watching him pick up the pace, making fast even strokes over the tip of his cock with each movement. The motion of his hands, the way his tip disappears into his fist and reappears with each pass is mesmerizing. You can feel the beginnings of an orgasm building and it just drives you on as you think about coming in front of him for the first time.

Your fingers pick up speed and your moans rise in pitch as he talks you through it. “Mmm such a bonnie little pussy. I wanna see ye come for me lass. Can ye do that fer me? Come nice and hard fer me?” You suck in a deep breath as you work your body into a frenzy, pinching a nipple between your fingers as you feel yourself nearing the edge.

You look up to see him vigorously stroking his cock. His breathing is heavy and loud through the speakers and you wonder if he’ll be loud when he comes. You’re close and even though he’s not even in the same room as you he can tell, spurring you on. “That’s it hen. Just like that. Do it. Cum fer me.”

It’s all it takes to send you spiraling. Your pussy clenching around nothing as you fall over the edge and succumb to the pleasure. You let out a long drawn out moan as you do, body tensing as you pant and writhe on the couch in full view.

You look up when he calls your name, watch as his strokes quicken and shorten and then all at once he’s coming undone, legs tensing and white hot cum shooting from the tip of his hard cock. It arcs through the air before landing in spattered lines across his thighs. The guttural yell that falls from his lips as he does is loud, just as you’d expected and you wish you could feel it, the rumble of his chest when it sounds.

You’re both breathing heavily and coming down when it hits you, the post nut clarity. You just had very raw, hardcore phone sex with a man who made a copy of the keys to your home, came over without you knowing while you were at work and invaded your personal space.

You’re ashamed and a little sickened by what you’ve just done. Quickly closing yourself off from view you snatch your panties and shorts from the ground and redress. “Fuck, lass. That was fucking amazing.” You’re already working on damage control in your mind, blocking out the experience, no matter how much you enjoyed it, it was wrong.

“No Johnny. It wasn’t.” You can see him switch the camera around and he’s way more relaxed now, smile a mile wide on his face. “Aye, it was. Cannae wait tae see ye, tomorrow.”

You don’t even know if you’ll show up now, how could you after that? It was just a mistake you told yourself, a tired slip up, absolutely a one time thing. You close your eyes and when you open them he’s looking at you and you swear you can his adoration for you swimming in them. “Go to sleep, lass. I wanna see ye tomorrow at 4:30.”

You say nothing and hang up. It’s very late before you fall asleep that night, debating whether or not the consequences of not showing up tomorrow are something you can afford to risk. If you don’t show up he could just pop into your house at any time. It’d be better to just show up and act like nothing happened, that was the key, just brush it under the rug and hope he’ll do the same.

You’re nervous about it all day at work, and you know Nancy knows something is wrong but you insist everything’s ok. You’re too ashamed to tell her about any of it and she relents and leaves you alone but she knows you’re lying. When four o’clock hits you’re out the door, won’t be able to stop this frenzied state of mind until you can clear things up with him and make things go back to normal.

The next day when you walk in the door and sign in he meets you at the desk and before you even have a chance to say anything he’s on you, lips crashing into yours in a passionate and very explicit kiss right in the lobby of the building surrounded by patrons and gawking onlookers.

He doesn’t even give you room to breathe let alone get a word in as his body presses up against yours and he grabs ahold of the back of your neck to keep you locked against him. When he pulls away you’re shell shocked and silent. As he pulls you against him and walks you further into the building you know things have taken an irrevocable turn.

[apalapucian]

on christmas morning, james finds her reading interview with the vampire (mary's present) in the common room, by the fire. they lock eyes before lily can pretend not to have seen him, and he smiles — sheepishly rubbing the skin behind his ear — so she smiles back.

"merry christmas," he says.

"merry christmas," she greets back. "you're up early."

"oh — yeah." he holds up a couple of envelopes. "sending out christmas cards."

"to who?" she asks before she can help herself. all his best friends are in the castle.

"mum, dad, mr. wrenswaith the manor caretaker. moony's mum, wormy's mum... padfoot's mum."

"lots of mums."

he grins. "they love me, what can i say."

"wait — even sirius's mum? really?"

"well, that one's a howler. don't ask what it says."

she exhales a laugh. "i can imagine."

"whatever you're imagining, it's worse. and however bad it is, she deserves it."

"she deserves more," someone adds, coming down from the stairs leading up to the boys' dorms, and sirius appears. "happy christmas, evans."

"hello, merry christmas," returns lily.

zipping his jacket up and fixing his scarf, he asks james, "ready?"

"yeah..."

james pauses before the common room door, looks back. "are you spending the entire day alone?" he asks lily.

"no. i'm spending it with louis de pointe du lac."

james frowns.

lily holds the book up, to explain. but he looks just as unimpressed.

"and that's — okay?" he asks. "you'll be fine?"

she takes a bit to respond, bemused and taken aback by the concern. "yeah...?"

"okay." he seems to want to say more, but hesitates. "uh — "

sirius, noticing, nods at the book. "it's an okay book, that," he says, "at best. so if you get bored, moony and worm will meet us later in hogsmeade after the owlery. you should come."

lily catches james nudge sirius's arm very, very quickly, almost imperceptibly, but it doesn't seem like the what the fuck did you just do sort, at any rate. it seemed more like — an acknowledgment. an agreement? a thank-you? lily asks, "you've read it?"

"we have," says james. "moony, too. last summer."

"we didn't like it," says sirius.

james throws him a look. this one — definitely the what the fuck sort. sirius just shrugs.

lily, amused, says, "okay. thank you. for the invite, and the book review. that's... i'll keep that in mind. thanks."

they nod, grinning, say goodbye again, and james remembers to call out, "three broomsticks!" before disappearing behind the swinging portrait door.

—

she's distracted the entire morning. has to reread most of the pages. by the time remus and peter come down, she's made up her mind and asks if she can go out with them. they seem to already know — probably through that mirror thing they carry around — and are more than happy to have her tag along.

—

she thinks it would be awkward — they don't exactly hang out, not without their other housemates — but besides the first few minutes where they do a little pause before the table to figure out seating arrangements, pointing fingers and exchanging glances (she ends up beside james and across from remus and peter, sirius at the head), it's — okay. comfortable. they have butterbeers, and sirius orders steaks as well (not on the menu, but madame rosmerta seems more than happy to indulge him), and the conversations flow easily from schoolwork to gryffindors to professors to christmas presents to how they're all faring in the term so far.

they — the boys — laugh a lot. which isn't news, their collective laughter is gryffindor's familiar backing track (hogwarts's backing track, really, for better or for worse), but she supposes there's a different level of palpability this close, a deeper infectiousness, that she finds herself laughing just as much. they're gracious enough to keep the jokes inclusive, too — remus or james would pause to explain when an inside joke finds its way in the riffraff of discussions — so she never feels left out.

she wonders when this all came to be, when they shifted from insufferable to bearable, and from that, to — well. friends. almost.

on the way back to hogwarts for dinner, james and sirius join a small chorale singing christmas carols on the side of the road — all theatric, hands together on their chests, but they do actually try to sing in tune, peeking at the hymnals for the correct lyrics; peter and remus pretending to be passers-by, clapping and showering them with invisible bills and coins — and lily laughs, fully settling into their company, giddy from the butterbeers and cozy in the light snowfall. wreaths and tinsel on the doors all around them —

her own little picture-book christmas day.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

an: this is a snippet of "the bad day wall (and the feelings space)", a fic i'm doing for @constancezin who sent the prompt "prefects' bathroom" (i know this christmas snippet — in march — doesn't seem like it relates at all, but i swear it's going to be the same fic lol). hopefully i finish it in the next week or two! it will be up on ao3 then, but for now, here's the rest of my other jilys if you're so inclined 💜 thank you!

edit: part one is now up :)

[1d1195]

Sun-Kissed Extra I

You can read Sun-Kissed here

~3.1k words

Warnings: None; fluffy, sweet stuff. Thought it would be nice to add some sunshine to this winter season. Hope you like it 💕

With sand between her toes, she headed back to Sun-Kissed Cabana. Only seven days until Harry’s arrival separated her from what was sure to be one of the best summers of her life. *

“I love summer,” Harry sighed dropping his head back against the pillow.

Fifty days separated from the end of summer until the wedding weekend. Another month until the holiday break for Thanksgiving. Another month until Christmas. The longest drought was Christmas to their break in February—sixty days exactly. Fifty-six from that break until their Spring break.

Somehow the remaining two weeks of their school years, until they would be living in Sun-Kissed Cabana and Sea View, was approximately, without exaggeration, three years long.

This is torture, Harry 😭

I know, baby. Just a few more weeks.

An entire summer. Seventy blissful days of sun, sand, and sex with Harry. Her brain was fogging over inputting grades for the term into her computer while simultaneously thinking over the next bout of review for the finals for her two classes. She worried about a few students that were struggling and hoped they would get enough points so that she could justify bumping them if necessary.

The idea of not working for seventy days was very exciting. It had been a long year. She was very lucky she made money off the rental process and the little over-the-summer tutoring she did. Harry was going to do some tutoring himself but with a place to stay for free (although Harry felt guilty about mooching off her. “Guess you’ll have to pay me in orgasms,” she had giggled to him over the phone when he told her of his worry) his paycheck covered any summer costs for sure without needing to work.

She would get a week head start to make the little cottages presentable and ready for the first renter. Harry would be arriving a week later. His school started later than hers. But he planned on leaving straight from school, packing his car the night before and hurrying as quickly as he could to the shore.

“Miss! Do we have to take a final!?”

She shook her head of the thoughts of Harry. Bending her over the sofa in her little cottage and making her see stars was not a good idea to think about when she had a whole bunch of twelve-year-olds coming into her room to get a science review lesson.

*

The smell of salt in the air was like heaven. The anxiety, the stress, all of the frustration that came from the end of the school year was washed away by the ocean. She arrived before the traffic, before the tourists, and before even the locals were awake. “You can call yourself a local,” the man at the grocery store told her. “You’re here all summer...since you were little. No one would mind.”

She didn’t even unpack her car. The moment she was in park, she stepped onto the sandy road and hurried the short distance to the walkway for the beach. Her heart felt so heavy and happy at the same time. It was home. Truly. She kicked her sandals off and scurried down to the water. She lifted her skirt up a bit to bunch in her hand so the water would get the ends of it. It was freezing still. The kind of cold salt water that made your feet numb and your skin ache. But it was so welcomed. Like if she were brave enough to do one of those ice bath dips that were so popular. She understood it. But only from the ankle down.

The sea breeze chilled her skin giving her goosebumps. It was too early for the sun to throw any real heat. It was barely eight in the morning and June always had cool mornings down by the water.

Are you there, baby? 😊

In the excitement of getting to the beach she completely forgot to text Harry that she was there. Guilt plagued her. She turned her phone to face her, the water, the sky, and snapped a picture to send to him.

Can’t tell if you’re there or not. Too busy looking at you 😍

You’re insane.

About you, kitten. Don’t work too hard. I’m excited to help when I get there.

I won’t. Have a good day at work. Call you later 😘

She knew he wouldn’t have time to chat until later when school let out. With sand between her toes, she headed back to Sun-Kissed Cabana. Only seven days until Harry’s arrival separated her from what was sure to be one of the best summers of her life.

*

There was a mix of anxiety and excitement bubbling in her chest. She had a hand on her heart trying to feel the erratic rhythm. It was like the muscle was trying to escape her chest. It was so hard to focus on her book knowing Harry was less than an hour away from being in her arms. Her foot was wiggling impatiently. All her senses were wonky.

The breeze was filtering into the cottage, bringing the salty air through along with the sounds of laughter. In the short week she had been there, the number of people had multiplied by five at least. Still not a lot, many were waiting for their children to finish the school year. But more than that peaceful morning she arrived and dipped her toes in the water.

She reread Harry’s message. Three hours, kitten 😘 She redid the calculation again. As if somehow, he would arrive earlier—or later. She wouldn’t blame him if he stopped for lunch. Her mind was going a little crazy, switching over to his location that he kindly gave her after their summer together. You can know my every movement, kitten.

He was still on track, which she was very grateful for. It felt like the last two hours had trailed even longer than the last two weeks. She twisted her neck every which way, her book no longer making any sense, she just tossed it on the floor and put her arm over her eyes trying to calm herself further. She would have to restart it when they read on the patio later. If they made it to the patio tonight. Part of her wondered if they would eat or leave the bedroom. Or make it past the living room for that matter.

She was wearing a pair of the popular boho pants that slipped on and off—they were red with a floral print that she selected mainly because Harry wouldn’t have to fuss with any buttons or zippers with a black tank top tucked into the elastic. It was comfy and easy to get on an off which she was hoping the off part would be the moment Harry walked through the door.

To keep herself busy and her mind occupied long enough for the remaining minutes, she started to fold some laundry while watching TV. Towels for Sea View. It was mindless and the show was too. She put her phone facedown so she wouldn’t watch the final minutes tick by so agonizingly slow.

Apparently, she did too good of a job because the moment she heard a car door slam she didn’t realize that the final moments had flew that she missed the sound of him pulling into the driveway. In seconds she was flinging herself out the door, right as Harry made it to the bottom step and she threw herself in his embrace. Her legs wrapped around his waist and his arms wound around her body. Anyone passing by their reunion would have thought they were insane. Two grown adults acting like the tweens and teenagers they taught. Tears pricked her eyes as she inhaled his familiar scent barely getting a look at him and he kissed the side of her head.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered breathlessly against her neck, kissing her skin—anywhere his lips could reach he wanted his mouth on her body. He never understood the analogy until he met her. Never imagined being so in love, so wanting for someone until her sun-goddess self-appeared in front of him. He was a starving man, and she was the most delicious thing he had tasted in months.

“I missed you,” she answered. The sound of her voice was lost in the air he was pulling from her with all his kisses.  She released her leg-hold on his hips. Not for long. She thought to herself. “Do you want to get your stuff?” She asked.

“No,” he murmured ushering her inside and slamming the door shut a little too loud for a touristy little cottage area. “Need you,” he nearly groaned as he pulled the tank top from the pants she wore. “Been thinking ‘bout you all over this place...all over me,” he cupped her chin and brought his lips a breath away from hers. He didn’t kiss her, finally gazed into her eyes. “I missed you,” he repeated.

“I missed you too,” her breath barely getting out of her lungs. In the next moment, his hands were all over her body. Searching for something that he didn’t seem to know what he was looking for. Her heart rate was somehow higher than it was while waiting for him. She was right about the pants coming off easily. They were easy to get off and she was right about the sofa too. All those inappropriate thoughts she had while grading and in between teaching classes were correct. Harry bending her over the living room furniture (and the dining room furniture and the kitchen counter) was exactly as she imagined but, of course, even better.

*

They eventually did make it to the bedroom. A better part of the late afternoon and early evening was spent between the sheets with kisses and touches that they were so desperate for after so many days of missing one another.

After what seemed like ages, Harry ordered her favorite pasta dish and food for himself while she was in the bathroom. She returned with a pair of lounge shorts and an oversized T-shirt on that made it look like she wasn’t wearing shorts at all. He groaned. “Kitten, m’gonna have t’go get the food at the door,” he reminded her as she walked over to his side of the bed. His arms wrapped around her thighs; his nose buried into the soft T-shirt. “Y’look too good t’get out of bed.”

She giggled and threaded her fingers through his hair. “I can get the food.”

He scowled against her shirt. “And let someone else see y’like this? No way,” he grumbled. “Mine,” his voice was possessive in the cutest way possible. “Y’lucky I don’t handcuff y’here.”

“That sounds like fun,” there was a teasing tone in her voice.

Harry actually growled. It was low in his throat and somehow made her core ache more—even after a well spent afternoon of touches and more. “Don’t tease me, love. Missed y’way too much.”

She laughed again and pulled gently from his embrace. He kept a hand on the back of her thigh. Like it was too much to not touch her in some way after all the time spent apart and knowing he would have an uninterrupted summer of being at her side. She tossed the covers back, her cheeks flushed with a red color at the sight of his sculpture-worthy form. “Better take care of that before the food gets here, yeah?” She asked sinking between his legs and tantalizing him with her fingertips working up from his knees to the tops of his thighs.

“I love summer,” he sighed dropping his head back against the pillow.

*

After eating (and maybe another hour spent in bed to get a head start making up for all the lost time they spent apart) they did head onto the patio for a reading session. But Harry was getting impatient. Now that the arousal hormones had simmered to a manageable level, he had only one thing on his mind, and he was almost bursting to share it.

“So, kitten, I have some good news and bad news,” he told her about a half hour after their reading session started. Her feet were in his lap, stretched across the space between the seats. Harry had one hand holding his book while he read (but not really reading because he was thinking about delivering this news so many times over, he couldn’t focus) the other hand had his fingers dancing across her shin, swirling little imaginary patterns on her skin.

Apparently, for all his thinking about it, he didn’t deliver the sentence well, it seemed. Immediately, she frowned, her heart breaking right before his eyes. He almost wanted to take it back. “I don’t like the sound of that,” he could see the worry in her eyes. He almost felt bad for making the sadness appear. Maybe it was too mean. He was hoping it wouldn’t be—he thought maybe she would’ve guessed immediately by the excitement in his voice.

“I have t’leave a week earlier than expected,” he was smiling.

Unfortunately, he was wrong. The excitement didn’t translate. Her gaze dropped to her thighs.

How could he be smiling? She didn’t even rationalize why he was smiling. It hurt so much. The seventy days. Only sixty-three. It hurt so much. How could he be smiling?!

“Please tell me that’s the bad news,” she whispered looking at her lap. Her book fell to the side, off the chair she was sitting on. Sand was going to get in the spine if they left it there too long. Harry hoped he could hurry the process up. She sat upright, creating more space between them. He leaned forward pressing his hands on either side of her legs on her seat. She couldn’t seem to look him in the eye.

He chuckled. She envied him and his casualness of the situation. Maybe he wasn’t as in love with her as she thought. “Of course, kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “Leaving y’for any length of time is the worst,” he promised and reached out to grab her fidgety fingers playing with the end of her T-shirt hem. “But m’new school district has new staff orientation at the end of the week I need t’leave. Before the year starts. And m’moving into m’new apartment the days before.”

“You got a new job?” She asked curiously. The surprise getting the better of her thoughts. Ignoring the fact that he was leaving her...and he was happy about it. He hadn’t mentioned a new job once. What was with all the secrets all so suddenly?

The poor thing was so sad she wasn’t thinking clearly, obviously. Harry thought this would be more obvious that she would know. The surprise was a good thing. He shook his head at her and rolled his eyes. “Yes, kitten,” he nodded waiting one last moment for her to put it together herself. “We have our first district meeting on August 26th, right? Eight in the morning?” He asked squeezing her hand.

Her head snapped up from her lap and she finally looked him in the eye. Her expression was unreadable. Like she wasn’t sure what to do with the information. It wasn’t fully processing. “What district meeting?”

“Your district,” he whispered, a smug little smile on his lips with the knowledge he knew he tricked her. It made her heart flutter. “Or I should say... our district.”

Her lips parted. “Our district?” She repeated dumbly.

“Yes, kitten,” his smile was going to melt her.

He watched her mouth gape open and close. The cutest little angelfish he had ever seen. “You’re—”

“Yes, baby,” he repeated, interrupting her.

There was a pause while he gazed at her. Silently begging her to process and understand what he was saying to her. “We’re going to be together?” She whispered, her voice cracking. “No more—?”

“Every day if y’want, kitten,” he promised. She burst into tears and Harry stood, pulling her up along with him to stand. He chuckled as she sobbed against his shirt. She clung to him, her arms squeezing around his waist. “Aw, baby. Please don’t cry. S’okay, kitten. S’a good thing,” he reminded her kissing the top of her head.

“You got a new job for me?” Her breath caught on a hiccup as she asked against his now tear-soaked shirt.

“Well, for us, love,” he chuckled.

“But you loved—”

“Kitten,” he shook his head, cupping her back of her neck and kissing the top of her head at the same time. “I love you, I love us, and m’sure m’gonna love this district more. Jus’ because you’re there. S’what I want. I want t’be closer t’you. It was easy.”

“But I could have changed—”

“No, kitten,” he shook his head. “S’nothing. There was an opening. I was waiting for it. M’okay,” he promised. “S’a good thing,” he reminded her.

“So where’s all your stuff?” She sniffled and pulled away. Harry cupped her face in his hands brushing away the tears. He smiled his perfect beautiful smile.

“Storage. It’ll be get delivered t’my new place when I move in.”

“You could move in with me,” she suggested, her voice soft. Like she was nervous to say it out loud. Fear of rejection. As if he could ever reject her. After he just took a job to be closer to her.

He grinned, looked at her lazily. His eyes scanning her sweet face, tear-stained but nonetheless beautiful. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “Of course. Why would you get an apartment when we’re going to be going back and forth between—”

“Well, s’a lot t’spring on someone.”

“I love you,” she promised. “Of course you can move in,” she rolled her eyes. “We already live together in the summer.”

He nodded, unable to stop smiling. Somehow smiling bigger with every word she spoke. “Now we’ll always live together, too. Now, no more crying for the rest of the summer,” he tilted her face up again and kissed her cheek with a few little pecks several times over. “S’endless now. Gonna have my sweet sun-goddess for the rest of m’life,” he winked and tugged her inside. “But I think we should celebrate,” he noted, squeezing her hand as they made it to the living room.

“How so?”

“Mm... well, s’been ‘bout four hours since your last orgasm,” his voice was low and gravelly. It reached the pit of her stomach and made her feel faint. She was still red eyed from sobbing, and she was sure she didn’t look very sexy. “Think I owe y’one after making you all upset,” his hands pulled her t-shirt over her head. “Or more. Y’deserve s’many as y’want.” She smiled, shaking her head at him as he wrapped an arm around her and dipped her until she was back on the sofa. “I love you, m’sweet sun goddess.”

She giggled. “I love you, too.”

-

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @kissitnhekitchen @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever@harrysxcarolina @haarrrys @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles @tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus

sun-kissed: @pancakerry

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[zepskies]

I'm very excited...

My early Christmas present to myself just came in! Thank you @kaleldobrev for the rec! 💚❤️

It includes cast interviews from Jensen Ackles (SB), Jim Beaver (Robert Singer), Aya Cash (Stormfront), Nathan Mitchell (Black Noir), and I'm sure a lot more!

[Edit]:

My review on this is right here if you want to read!

[widowsistersandfriends]

Sneak Peek

Summary: You are too eager to open your presents, so you figure one peek won't hurt. The Avengers know just the right way to playfully punish you.

Note: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I hope you guys have been able to spend quality time with family and friends! I hope you enjoy this fic!

Word Count: 1644

-------------------------------------------------------

You were living at the Avengers compound with many of the Avengers, including the Widow sisters, Steve, Peter, Wanda, Kate and many others. This was your second time celebrating Christmas with them, so you were more used to the traditions. 

Bright and early in the morning, you guys would open presents and then eat a nice big breakfast. Each year they would rotate who would cook. This year, it was you, Peter and Wanda. However, you were looking forward most to opening presents. You were so eager that you couldn’t wait for morning.

You snuck downstairs quietly, making sure to not make any noise to not get caught. You tiptoed towards the tree, using your phone flashlight to look for the gifts that had your name on it. You grabbed a box that had your name on it, being careful to not let the wrapping paper make too much noise. 

You had succeeded in making a pile of your gifts and were ready to start peeking. However, you were so focused on being quiet that you didn’t notice Fanny and Lucky coming up behind you. The two dogs were so interested in the tree and presents and came up next to you. Fanny licked your face, as Lucky nuzzled into your neck.

You let out a yelp of surprise, gently pushing the dogs away.

“Fanny! Lucky! What are you guys doing?” You whispered, knowing the dogs would not answer.

The dogs panted and started sniffing the boxes around you.

“Don’t open those!” You said, trying to move them away from the dogs. However, you got frazzled and let a few boxes topple, causing a loud noise. 

You panicked and wondered about what to do next. You could either stay and tell them the truth, stay and blame it on the dogs, or run and hide in your bedroom.

You decided to stay and blame it on the dogs.

“I owe you one,” you whispered to the dogs, as they continued to smile. 

“Y/N, what on earth is going on?” Natasha asked, walking out and looking half asleep.

“The dogs were trying to open the presents, so I came down to try and stop them before it was too late,” you explained, hoping that your lie would work.

Natasha eyed you suspiciously, knowing that the dogs were asleep before they went to bed.

“How did you know they were opening the presents?” Natasha asked you.

“Umm, I just heard them,” you insisted stubbornly.

“You know we have security cameras around the compound, right?” Natasha said, now smirking.

“Don’t check them!” You blurted out

“What is all this racket?” Yelena said, coming out of their bedroom, her accent strong as she had just woken up.

“I caught Y/N lying and trying to peek at her presents,” Natasha said, as you shook your head and tried to retell your lie to Yelena. 

“It was your crazy dog!” You insisted, scooting away from the two sisters.

“Let’s just see, shall we?” Natasha said, reviewing the security camera footage with Yelena.

Just as the footage ended, you made a run for your room.

“Get back here, Y/N!” The two sisters called after you.

“Never!” You shouted, giggling because you knew you were busted.

You closed the door quickly to your room, only to have it opened a second later.

“No! Leave!” You said through giggles, as you backed up against the headboard of your bed.

“You’re in so much trouble, little one,” Yelena said, as the two sisters pounced on you and pinned you to the bed.

“Nohohoho! Lehehet me gohohoho,” you giggled hysterically.

“We’re not even tickling you yet,” Natasha said with a grin.

“Buhuhut I knohohow you wihill,” you giggled, shrieking as Natasha began drilling into your ribs.

“GAAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAP,” you screamed, unable to squirm much underneath them.

“I can’t stop because I have to tickle little girls who lie all the time,” Natasha said, listening to the sweet sound of your giggles.

“Me too,” Yelena said, now tickling your feet and joining in.

“NOHOHO IHIHIT’S TOHOO MUHUHUCH,” you cried, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

“Awww what are you, a little baby?” Natasha teased, worming her hands into your armpits.

You wheezed with laughter, tapping the bed to signal that you surrendered.

The two girls let you have a break, knowing that you were too ticklish to handle them for a long time all at once. 

“So, are you going to tell the truth?” Yelena asked, giving your knee a squeeze.

“No!” You yelped, trying to pull your leg away.

“Liars get tickled~” Yelena said, switching spots with Natasha and squeezing your sides rapidly.

“AHAHAHAHAHAA NOHOHO MOHOHORE,” you squealed, arching your back to no avail.

“Admit it,” Yelena said, grinning down at you.

“OHOHOKAY FIHIHINE IHIHI WAHAHAS SNOOHOHOOPING,” you shouted, laughing until you were pink.

“That’s what I thought,” Yelena said, poking your tummy.

“You guys are so rude,” you pouted.

“Aww c’mon don’t act like you don’t love to be tickled,” Natasha teased, as you blushed and didn’t answer.

“It’s late, Y/N, you need to go to sleep,” Yelena scolded playfully. 

“It’s a little too late for that,” Natasha said, as the sun started to rise.

“Well, guess you’ll get to open those presents after all,” Yelena said.

“So you tickled me for nothing?” You asked in disbelief.

“Oh don’t worry, we had a blast,” Natasha said, as you rolled your eyes playfully. 

The three of you headed downstairs to open presents. You eagerly greeted the others downstairs, excited to open presents. You all sat in a circle and took turns opening your gifts. You received some new clothes, a book of your favorite series, a new journal, and some colored pens.

“Alright, let’s get that breakfast going,” Wanda said, in charge of the two kids helping her.

“Do we have to,” you and Peter both whined, wanting to play with and use your new gifts.

“I know you guys want to play that new video game Peter got, but this year it’s our turn to cook,” Wanda said.

“I refuse,” you said cheekily, as Wanda raised an eyebrow at you.

“Is that so?” She asked.

You nodded your head nervously, as Wanda pinned you with her powers immediately.

“No please! I’ve already been tickled,” you pleaded, knowing that this time would be even worse. 

“You can never have too many tickles,” Wanda said, squeezing your hips.

“HAHHAHAHAHAAHA,” you laughed, unable to hold it in.

“You know there’s no escaping this, Y/N,” Wanda said, using her nails to tickle under your chin, making you squeal with laughter.

“Wow, you’re ticklish everywhere,” Wanda teased, as you shook your head in denial.

“STAHAHAHAHAP,” you cried, as Wanda tickled away at your stomach.

“PEHEHETER IHIHISNT HEHEHELPING EITHER!” You cried, trying to avert their attention.

“Hmm, you’re right,” Wanda said, pinning the young boy next to you.

“Steve? Wanna help?” Wanda asked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Steve said, switching positions with Wanda. The witch was now by Peter, pinning his arms above his head and tickling his armpits.

“NOHOHOHOT THEHEHERE,” he cried, knowing that his armpits were his worst spot.

“You’re just as much of a troublemaker as Y/N,” Wanda teased, as the poor boy was crying with laughter.

Steve came over to you, giving you a smirk.

“Well well well, what do we have here, Y/N? You just can’t stop causing trouble huh?” Steve asked, going towards your feet.

You groaned in anticipation, curling up your toes to protect them.

“Just get it over with,” you whined.

Steve decided to mess with you, going for a spot you weren’t expecting. He started to tickle your shins and over the tops of your feet, making you jerk out of surprise.

“GAH NO WHY AHAHAA,” you laughed, jumping from the sensation.

“Gotta continue the storyline of you being ticklish everywhere,” Steve said, now scratching behind the back of your knee.

“STAHAHAHAP THAHAHAT TIHIHICKLES,” you shouted.

“That’s the point,” Steve said with a grin.

“Now are you and Peter gonna help with the cooking?” Steve asked, continuing to torment your lower body.

You looked over at Peter, as he had given in after a bit of tickling from Wanda. She was the ultimate ler, but you were also the most stubborn girl on earth, so you were not going to give in.

“Maybe Peter will help, but I won’t,” you said stubbornly, sticking your tongue out at Steve.

“Guess we gotta go for the kill, huh?” Wanda said, as Steve sat on your hips and Wanda sat above your hands.

“OH GOD NO! WAIT! I’LL HELP!” You quickly gave in.

“Hmm, I think we have to make sure,” Wanda said, as she used her magic to tickle all over your neck and started raking her nails rapidly in your bare armpits. Meanwhile, Steve began to wiggle his finger in your belly button, making you shriek with laughter.

“OHOHO MY GOHOHOD STAHAHAP IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES SO BAHAHAD!” You screamed.

“Yeah? Then we must be doing our job right,” Steve teased, as your face turned bright red from the laughter and embarrassment. 

“IHIHI CAHAHAHANT! HEHEHELP IHIHI GIHIHIVE,” you cried, panting as they finally let you up.

“That’s what you get for being a brat,” they all said, making you feel greatly outnumbered.

“I am not a brat,” you insisted.

“We know you love being tickled, so the brat role fits you well,” Yelena chimed in, ruffling your hair.

You pouted and would never admit it, but you also knew you couldn’t take anymore tickles, so you decided to go help cook.

That Christmas was one of your favorites since it was the first time you helped cook the traditional breakfast. You looked forward to spending more time with them as the years went on, which also conveniently came with something you loved. Tickles.

[carica-ficus]

Review: "Evil Roots: Killer Tales of the Botanical Gothic"

Authors: Nathaniel Hawthorne, Arthur Conan Doyle, Lucy H. Hooper, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, H. G. Wells, Edmond Nolcini, M. R. James, Ambrose Bierce, Howard R. Garis, William Hope Hodgson, Edith Nesbit, H. C. McNeile, Abraham Meritt, Emma Vane

Editor: Daisy Butcher

Date: 03/01/2023

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

________________________________________________________

I think I ordered this book some time during summer, after I accidentally stumbled upon it on an online bookstore. I love anthologies and I love plants, so this title definitely intrigued me enough to order it. I finally decided to read it around Christmas and finished it during a recent trip, so it's officially my first finished book of the year.

"Evil Roots: Killer Tales of the Botanical Gothic" is an interesting anthology of short horror stories by quite a few well-known authors. From the creator of Sherlock Holmes, to the acclaimed writer of "The Yellow Wallpaper", all the way to the legendary H. G. Wells, this collections features some hidden gems of the late 19th and early 20th century. While the stories are certainly old-school, they could still be regarded as timeless classics and masterful creations.

Most stories revolve around the fascination of the exotic - of unknown plants that are in some way dangerous to humans (or other organisms) and which originate from far away places, like South America. There's mentions of exquisite poisonous flowers, murderous liana, mysterious wisteria, and the weirdest of them all - carnivorous plants.

It is interesting just how much the writers and, by default, the general public were fascinated by exotic flora which, in one way or another, transcended the known laws of nature. Plants were considered sedentary, passive, and at the bottom of the food chain, but as new discoveries were being presented and as more people, professionals and amateurs alike, from the western civilization started their expeditions in new places, society was being introduced with oddities that seemingly didn't follow any established rules. So while the horror in this collection is displayed through various flora, the true horror is derived from the simple fact that humans fear what they cannot understand. One of the most frightening things a person, especially a scientist, can experience is realizing that they will never be able to fully predict nature's capability to adapt and to evolve.

Of course, this theme goes hand in hand with the understanding that it is dangerous altering the natural order of things. While this could also be understood as criticism to the human tendency to play god, there isn't much religious commentary throughout the collection. The stories are centered around ecology, evolution, and biology, highlighting how humans shouldn't meddle with something as powerful as nature - which they will never fully understand, let alone be able to control. Even though the writers do create a feeling of dread through the fear of nature, the horror is actually realized through characters that underestimate its abilities and that have the need to disfigure nature in order to measure their own capabilities.

Furthermore, this collection highlights the uncomfortable fascination western civilization had with other cultures. The urge to study new exotic phenomena on their own accord, to test the limits of human science on something they don't fully understand with little to no regard of the laws of nature and the test subject's true needs, is somewhat perverse. These scientists are conducting experiments in uncontrolled environments, and playing with their test-subjects in order to test their own abilities and knowledge. It is a portrayal of poor research. They're acting out of curiosity with little to no regard of the consequences. It is not their subjects that are evil, for they have been brought up and mistreated in an environment completely unnatural to their habitat, but their tormentor, who butchers them through extreme studies. This is usually evident through a secondary character, most often a colleague, who tries to stop the scientist in their mad experiment before it's too late. The horror is, therefore, found in the abuse executed by the brazen oppressor, not in their vicious, abnormal creations.

The fact that the aforementioned themes barely scratch the surface of all the ideas featured in this collection, prove how layered and compelling all the featured stories are. The editor also did a marvelous job with a lovely foreword and an intriguing introduction to each of the authors and their respective work. Of course, as with every short story collection, not all works are equally strong, but "Evil Roots: Killer Tales of the Botanical Gothic" is still a gorgeous anthology and a noteworthy testament to a relatively overlooked category of horror.

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 20 is already available on AO3 and Chapter 21 will be posted soon.

Currently 20 chapters completed: 757.3K Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

[Previous snippet from Several Sentences Sunday linked here.]

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I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 21 because there are only 7 days left until Buck and Eddie get married.

For anyone who hasn't read Chapter 20, here's a brief overview: Eddie completed his Paramedic Certification Course and he started planning a surprise for their wedding evening, night and the morning after. Buck asked his bio dad if they could meet in-person while they're in London. Eddie and Buck had an important early morning conversation about the way they'll make decisions for their family. They went to the Italian Consulate in Los Angeles with their two witnesses and now they have all the legalized documents they'll need to get married in Rome. Also, they tied up a lot of loose ends by verifying their 'To Do' Lists along with reviewing all of their documents.

Buck and Eddie will tie the knot before Christmas 2023 but they are NOT getting married in the U.S. and they won't have a wedding ceremony until May 2024. They've revealed their relationship, their engagement and the fact that they're going to Europe to their found family during the 118's Thanksgiving dinner (Chapter 17), to Eddie's parents, his sisters, his abuela and Tia Pepa (Chapter 18) and Buck told the Buckley parents he's getting married and that he has a son (Chapter 19). Only three people know they're getting married in 7 days and they are Chris, Carla and Malone. They told Carla and Malone (Chapter 19) because they asked them to be their witnesses at the Italian Consulate and they told Chris (Chapter 20) that evening after they got the "Atto Notorio" (Declaration) signed but no one else knows.

Now that Buck and Eddie have their signed Declaration and everything else is in place, will they be able to leave Los Angeles Friday afternoon headed to Rome, Italy without anyone else finding out they're getting married in Chapter 21?

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Here's a snippet from Chapter 21 of Buck and Eddie being romantically fluffy and intimate while they're in the loft for the last time.

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While he positions Eddie so that he’s standing in the same spot he stood in that night, Eddie raises his eyebrows at him but he doesn’t say anything.  Even as Buck attempts to recreate one of their emotionally intimate encounters, he notices they’re still in sync because Eddie automatically leans his back against the counter like he knows what’s going to happen next.

Buck shakes his head because other than the fact that the loft is completely empty now and they’re both a few years older, Eddie’s even more beautiful than he was back then.  The only major difference between that night and now in Eddie’s appearance is he’s not wearing his hair buzzed cut anymore.   

He leans against the edge of the island that’s directly in front of him and situates himself so that he’s in the same half standing and half sitting position he was in all those years ago.  He lowers his head, smiles then lifts it and gives Eddie the same cocky and confident grin he wore back then and it’s laced with a challenge just like it was that night in November 2019.

He knows he’s playing with fire but he’s ok with it because they’re engaged now, they’re getting married in 4 days and he’s 100% certain any challenge he presents in this moment, will be fulfilled on their wedding night.

Eddie tilts his head to the side and in a playful tone of voice, he asks, “My love, what are you doing?”

With a coy smile, Buck replies, “Surely you remember everything that happened the night after the lawsuit.  You know… it was right after Halloween.  We made up and I apologized for not being there for you and Chris.”

He fondly rolls his eyes like he doesn’t remember but the truth is he does except he doesn’t want Buck to know, so he questioningly raises one of his eyebrows and waits for him to continue.

“You were standing right there… um exactly where you are right now and you were holding your bottle of Genuine beer.  I was right here and while we were talking, I said, “I thought for sure that day in the grocery store you were going to take a swing at me.”  And then you said, “But you didn’t deserve it.  I wouldn’t do that… you’re on blood thinners.”

Eddie slowly nods, then he gives Buck a once over like he did that night as he looks at him from his feet to his head and replies, “I do and if I’m remembering correctly, I think you said something about taking me”.

Buck raises his eyebrows.  “You’re right… I did say that.  And I know I still can… take you that is.”

With a big devious smile, Eddie asks, “You still think so?”

“I knew then and I know now!”  He admits, then he stands up to his full 6’2-inch height, strolls over and stands next to his fiancé, looks him up and down with his hand where his belt buckle would be if he was wearing one and asks, “You want to go for the title?”

Eddie confidently chuckles but he doesn’t take his eyes off his fiancé. He raises up from the counter, moves so close to him that their lips are mere millimeters apart, he wraps his arms around Buck’s waist then he leans in and places a soft kiss onto Buck’s lips that makes Buck shiver.  He wants to feel him do it again, so he kisses him once more then he talks against his lips and says, “On September 2nd, I won something more valuable than the title to that video game.”

Buck already knows the answer to the question he’s going to ask and even though he’s breathless from simply looking at the love of his life, he whisper asks, “Oh yeah… what did you win?”

What did Eddie win on September 2nd and how is he going to respond to Buck's question? 👀

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be spectacular.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Will be posted soon.

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Read chapters 1-20 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 21 will be posted soon.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he’s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

[george-the-good]

The Sunday Pictorial - May 18, 1947

By a Special Contributor to the ‘Sunday Pictorial’

The tumult and the shouting dies. But for the King there can be no relaxation. When the cheering crowds disperse and go home, he has a tedious exacting job to do at his desk.

Throughout Britain this week the talk has been of our King and Queen. When they left for South Africa they were envied their promise of sunshine and non-austerity food.

Then, day after day, we heard of them giving a reception here, auditions there... It was work, hard work.

And now they are back… to work again in surroundings so familiar that they lack the excitement and glamour of the young Dominion.

Passers-by, looking up at the Royal Standard floating above Buckingham Palace, know that the King is back in London and try to imagine what he is doing. But all that emerges from behind those grey stone walls is a dull, factual Court Circular, with its list of people received, Privy Councils held, and ladies and gentlemen in attendance.

Now let’s go through the tall, double glass doors of the Privy Purse, the ‘business’ entrance of the Palace, on your right as you face it from the Mall, and see how the King’s day is planned, how the head of the Empire does his work.

In general control of the King’s official activities is his private secretary, holder of an office that has grown in importance greatly during the past three reigns until today it is often referred to as that of the ‘Sovereign’s Personal Prime Minister.’

The present private secretary is sparsely built, quizzical Sir Alan Lascelles, who holds the office not because he is first cousin to the Earl of Harewood, the King’s brother-in-law, but because of his long record as a servant of the Crown. He was assistant private secretary to the Duke of Windsor when he was Prince of Wales, private secretary to the Governor-General of Canada, and assistant private secretary to George V, Edward VIII and George VI.

Always an early riser, Sir Alan walks over from his house at St. James’s - which he has rent free as part of his salary - just after nine, and is firmly seated at his desk, with a good idea of the news of the day, by nine-thirty. At any moment after that a bell may ring, and an old-fashioned card indicator on the wall falls, showing the words ‘The King.’

Then Sir Alan, known to the King and Queen and to everyone else at the palace as Tommy, ‘goes up’ to the King. Those words are literally as well as constitutionally true, for the King’s business room - he does not call it his study - is on the first floor.

With the King, Tommy will go through the latest dispatches and messages from our Ambassadors abroad, reports from Whitehall, minutes from various Government departments, ‘submissions’ from the Prime Minister and from the Premiers of the Dominions, each of whom has the right of direct approach to the King.

Tommy knows more of what is going on all over the Empire and the world than anyone else, except the King. That’s part of his job.

It is his task to advise the King on every kind of problem, from whether he should accept an invitation to open an agricultural show, to what he should say in a Christmas broadcast, or whether and how he should intervene in some major crisis in public affairs.

Under Sir Alan are two assistant private secretaries, who take on the routine work, fixing details of programmes for provincial visits by the King and Queen, arranging for audiences and so on.

Part of their task is to furnish a short ‘aide-memoire’ for the King about everyone whom he receives in audience. The King has a really remarkable memory for faces and names, but he cannot be expected to remember details of each man’s career, of the interests and attainments of everyone he meets.

Another of their responsibilities is to furnish rough outline material for the King’s speeches, material which the King himself will later review and arrange.

Altogether there are about forty-five active members of the Royal Household in daily attendance at the Palace, not counting another fifty or more extra equerries, ushers, chaplains and holders of political appointments to the Household. They are the men - and women - who comprise the Court of St. James’s, the wheels in the smooth-running machine of British monarchy.

Today the Palace is run not as a great gentleman’s house, with everything in profusion regardless of cost, and kindly but not over-efficient amateurs holding important jobs, but on strict business lines.

In any business house it is true that if the boss is slack or unpunctual, the rest of the staff are likely to fall off in efficiency. That is true at the Palace as well, and the ‘boss’ - the King - is as hard working, as early rising as anyone on his staff.

Seven-thirty is his normal hour for rising, and he has his simple breakfast alone - bacon is his favourite dish, but the ration does not always run to it. Immediately afterwards he walks into his ‘business room,’ unlocks the red-leather dispatch boxes which have been brought in by the Page of the Presence - an old and trusted Palace servant - and settles down to read.

His papers may include a secret report from a British ambassador on the state of war-preparedness in the country to which he is accredited, and a memorandum on the miners’ attitude to nationalisation of the coalfields, as well as half a dozen other important matters. All of these the King reads and digests.

Presently he rings for his secretary, and the long morning procession begins, to end before lunch with perhaps a new ambassador coming to present his ‘letters of credence’ or a new bishop to do homage on bended knee before the secular head of the Established Church, or an Empire statesman or an outgoing Governor-General to have audience and stay to lunch.

Almost every day the King and Queen lunch together, usually with Princess Elizabeth at table as well, and over lunch the family discuss their plans, arrange theatre parties or dances, talk over the coming week-end at Royal Lodge, and chat of the everyday familiar things that are part of any family’s life.

If there are important State guests at luncheon, the talk is naturally on a more serious plane, and Elizabeth, who meets as many of the important Palace visitors as possible, as part of her training, joins in the conversation.

After luncheon, the King likes to take a short stroll in the Palace gardens, sometimes with Elizabeth and her Corgi dog, sometimes alone. Then it is back to his desk till tea time.

Tea is another family gathering, after which, there is usually a final audience the King must give to the Prime Minister, the Foreign Secretary, or some other highly placed member of his Government.

Between then and dinner, the King sits at his desk tidying up the odds and ends left over during the day: for he is a man with a tidy mind, as befits a former naval officer, and he cannot bear leaving over things unfinished till the next day.

Often it is seven-thirty before he is finished - and that means that one or other of the secretaries, if not all three, is still on duty - and the royal dinner is served at eight.

There is just time to bath and dress - the King nearly always wears a dinner jacket and black tie - before he joins the Queen and the Princesses for what they all regard as the pleasantest part of the day.

In armchairs, the King and Queen and their daughters like to sit, the King reading a light book for relaxation, or looking at a sporting magazine, the Queen knitting or doing embroidery, and the Princesses reading or studying.

Even then, the King is not off duty. At any moment there may be a telephone call from Whitehall, a Government messenger may come to the Palace with urgent dispatches which the King must see at once.

Then the private line to Tommy’s house over at St. James’s comes into action, and if the matter is one of real gravity, the King’s secretary will leave his own home and rejoin his master for a conference that may go on till midnight.

For being the King-Emperor is a full-time job. He is, indeed, the servant of his own subjects and he is ready always to turn from his own recreations to the duty which is not of his own choice, but which he has accepted at all times with unflagging zeal.

[princesscatherinemiddleton]

The Princess of Wales’ Year in Review: November

November 1st - The Princess of Wales, Joint Patron of the Royal Foundation of The Prince and Princess of Wales, visited Dadvengers November 2nd - The Duke and Duchess of Rothesay visited Outfit Moray, Burghead Primary School. Afterwards, they visited Brodieshill Farm, before finally visiting Day1 at Inverness Kart Raceway November 8th - The Princess of Wales, Colonel-in-Chief of 1st The Queen's Dragoon Guards, visited the Regiment at Robertson Barracks November 11th - The Prince and Princess of Wales were present with the King and Queen at the Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance at the Royal Albert Hall November 12th - The Princess of Wales joined members of the Royal Family at the cenotaph for the Remembrance Sunday service. During the 2023 Earthshot Prize ceremony, a video of the Prince and Princess of Wales snorkelling in the Bahamas with Coral Vita was released November 14th - The Princess of Wales, Joint Patron of the Royal Foundation, received Mr. Jack Shonkoff (Director of Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University) at Windsor Castle. That evening, Catherine attended a reception at the Design Museum. Afterwards, the Prince and Princess of Wales joined members of the Royal Family at a private birthday party for the King November 15th - The Princess of Wales, Joint Patron of the Royal Foundation, held a symposium on Early Childhood at the Design Museum November 16th - The Princess of Wales, Joint Patron of the Royal Foundation, held a meeting at Windsor Castle. The Royal Foundation of The Prince and Princess of Wales and Mayor of Greater Manchester announced £100,000 funding to support the work of the Manchester Peace Together Alliance to provide positive opportunities for young people and reduce youth violence November 17th - The Princess of Wales opened BBC's Children In Need with a message about the importance of childhood November 18th - A photo of the Princess of Wales decorating a christmas tree was released to announce her carol concert November 21st - The Prince and Princess of Wales welcomed The President of the Republic of Korea and Mrs Kim Keon Hee on behalf of The King at the Four Seasons Hotel. They then drove to Horse Guards and were met by The King and Queen. At Buckingham Palace, they viewed an exhibit of South Korean art from the Royal Collection. Finally, they attended a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace November 22nd - The Prince and Princess of Wales, Joint Patrons of the Royal Foundation of The Prince and Princess of Wales, held a reception at Windsor Castle November 24th - The Princess of Wales, Joint Patron of the Royal Foundation, visited Sebby's Corner November 30th - The Prince and Princess of Wales received Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel of Sweden at Windsor Castle. That evening, the four royals attended the Royal Variety Performance in aid of the Royal Variety Charity at the Royal Albert Hall

[theliteraryarchitect]

I have just one holiday tradition: Reading one-star reviews of the low-budget 2012 film A Christmas Puppy.

I found out about this movie from a friend who saw it on Netflix back in the early days of streaming. After she watched it, she called me in a fit of rage. She relayed the title (”it was called a fucking Christmas puppy, okay?”), described the cover (”a cute golden retriever puppy wearing a Santa hat”), and then went on an absolutely belligerent rant. The movie, it turned out, contained no such puppy.

At that time, Netflix’s review section was full of similar complaints from baffled, angry viewers. I imagine by now they’ve pulled it from streaming, but luckily many similarly upset viewers took to Amazon to voice their complaints. I’ve always hated Christmas. But for some reason revisiting this collective fury never fails to cheers me up, and so I return year after year to indulge in their outrage. It’s always been a private pleasure, but why not share it with the world?

So, readers of Tumblr, I present to you...

The “old Maltese” mentioned by a few reviewers apparently appears twice in this film, but is not part of the plot and looks nothing like the dog on the cover photo:

This same dog is presented in a series of strange cut-aways in the official theatrical trailer, which also features no “Christmas puppy”:

I mostly revisit this nightmare to cheer myself up around the holidays, however (and more to the point of this blog) I also consider it to be a profound meditation on the importance of fulfilling your contract with the viewer/reader. If you call your movie/story A Christmas Puppy and put a cute puppy on the cover, people are going to expect certain things, and you really can’t blame them for being upset. That is all.

Merry x-mas, Tumblr, and goodnight.

[raiquen]

Book Review: Out of Africa, Isak Dinesen

My Review in a Tweet:

I'm not drawn to Non-Fiction, but this autobiographic tale, while a bit slow, captivated me. The fourth part is jarring because it's a random collage of stories; the rest of the narration was great, coming back and forth in her memories until the moment she leaves the continent.

My Full Review:

Trying to diversify my readings, I picked up again this book I got as a Christmas present back in 2015 but never managed to finish. I'm not entirely sure this book qualifies as Non-Fiction, since it's still very poetic in the way the author describes her years in her coffee plantation at the foot of the Ngong Hills, but I describe it as NF because it is an autobiographic narration of a period of her life.

I still had to drag myself a little through some parts of the book, but that's not on Isak Dinesen (or more accurately, on Karen Blixen, her real name), it's on me and the genres I usually read being quite different from this. The book itself is structured into five parts, each of them separated into smaller chapters.

Even then, I enjoyed this book: Dinesen/Blixen has an artistic soul and a taste for the beauty in the world that makes her descriptions and tales really outstanding and marvelous, giving the reader a careful and joyful glimpse into the Africa of the early years of the 20th Century. The love she distills for her farm and the workers that come and go in her life, while sometimes might sound "problematic" from our modern set of values, makes you ache when tragedies and setbacks occur.

I wish the expression "abanico cultural" (cultural fan, as in the accesory for the hot days) existed in English, because that's what this book opens in front of you: a range of cultural and sometimes religious ways of being human, with just a tinge of the author's bias, and even when she's more openly judgemental of the ways of the masai and the other tribes, she still sees the beauty and wonder of their lifestyles.

The final part of the book, when she describes how all the problems of the farm start to pile up and she has to sell and leave Africa, really makes you feel sorry for her, hoping that fate will smile to her and turn the downtrend of her coffee productivity. When she finally leaves, it's like waking up from a pleasant dream of a sweet memory, and you are left with that bittersweet taste of longing.

7.5/10

My other 2024 readings.

[zahri-melitor]

I love all three Holiday Bashes, so we are going to review all the stories.

DCU Holiday Bash #1 (1996)

The Benefaction of Peace. This is a Superman story. Lois talks to George, who is about to jump off the top of the Daily Planet building because he’s so lonely. Lois tells him a story of an early Superman Christmas, where Clark tries to clean up Metropolis as a ‘present’ for everyone, but doesn’t notice all the ordinary folk doing their bit to help each other. Then of course Superman learns the lesson that “it takes every one of us to make it safe”.

A High Father Christmas. Obviously this is the New Gods. Highfather and Orion get mistaken for being the hires for department store Santa and his elf. Highfather gives out REAL presents, as you always do with this plot, and the department store floor manager has a change of heart about the Meaning Of The Season.

Bearing Gifts We Traverse Afar. Catwoman! Selina goes to warn a woman and child that some goons are coming after her because of her husband killing someone in Blackgate and helps her get out of town safely.

A classic Selina view panel here.

The last one is just this -- I don't like goons who hurt mothers and kids. Not ever, but especially not on Christmas Eve.

Satan’s Little Helper. Etrigan is summoned by a magician, who grants him one thing ‘you can pick up and hold’ in exchange for his soul. However, the magician’s kid comes in, decides Etrigan is Santa, and reaches into the portal to pull out…a Batman doll. Etrigan accepts the bargain, magician is heartbroken.

The Vessel. Green Lantern (Kyle). This is the Hanukkah story in the set. Kyle meets some friends including one who’s sister is the local Rabbi. They go to the synagogue to find it vandalised with Nazi symbolism. Kyle goes off to track down the vandals (who are the world’s most stereotypical neo-Nazi skinheads). Kyle’s ring is almost out of battery and fails…and then is magically recharged during the fight. A miracle!

“And hope can keep a flame going when its fuel should long ago have run out.”

Present Tense. This is the Wally/Linda story, as opposed to the story of the same name in Holiday Bash II, which is the coal for Darkseid story. Basically, Wally overhears Linda on the phone to her mother saying “Wally knows exactly what I want for Christmas. (As I told him)”. Wally instantly panics because no, he does not remember what this item was. All he can remember is an incredibly ugly late 80s/early 90s sweater. Wally panic buys a bunch of things, which he immediately realises are no good, so he leaves the presents in the hands of passing shoppers. Wally eventually gets Linda the ugly sweater, and gives it to her saying that he remembers their conversation: Linda asked for him to really listen to her and pay attention.

Just Another Night. This is an Alfred story. Note for all the fanon fans – Tim goes on holidays to the Caribbean with Jack this Christmas, and sends a lovely card to Alfred. But the main plot of the story is Bruce and Alfred both acting like it is any other night, until Alfred finds a present waiting for him from Bruce. Awwww.

No real Santas, but plenty of sweet stories.

[triviareads]

I'm posting this one a little sooner than the end of the month because I'm off to the west coast for the holidays and most of these books are Christmas or New Year's-themed!

Mafia Virgin by Mila Finelli

The final installation of Mila's Kings of Italy series came out last week, and here is my review (and here are my excess notes). SPEAKING of Mila Finelli—

Fausto and Frankie Bonus Scene by Mila Finelli

If you would like some warm, mafia Christmas goodness with a side of chasing, Mila Finelli wrote a (free!) bonus scene set after Mafia Darling that I've linked above. It features gems such as Frankie fucking around with calling Fausto an old man repeatedly and finding out (which, to be clear, was her end goal), Fausto pondering on whether to tell the number of men he's killed with an axe when Frankie questions his ability to chop down a Christmas tree, and a visit from (then-failson mafioso, but forever a fave) Giulio.

Duke the Halls by Felicity Niven

The thing about Felicity Niven's historical romances is that they all start off relatively light, humorous even, but you inevitably find yourself swiping away tears as you read through the last few chapters. Duke the Halls is about a grumpy neurodivergent duke who finds himself enamored with a ladies companion he meets in a stagecoach. I adore Franny; she's earnest and upbeat and the very embodiment of holiday spirit without being naive (she's also a bit of a neologist). Kit, the duke, is more of an acquired taste but it's hilarious to read how gone he is for this woman right off the bat— to the point where he wishes he were a worse kisser so she could "practice" with him more, he admits he actually kinda does suck at sex, and nearly crashes a carriage when she agrees to sleep with him. God bless him. Felicity Niven doesn't shy away from going off the beaten path with her sex scenes; expressions of pleasure are never sanitized and they always feel real and honest.

My Present This Year by Sierra Simone

Sierra Simone unironically wrote a (step!) sibling romance some years ago (linked above— it's free!), inspired by that 2009 Folger's coffee commercial called "Coming Home". You know the one. Upon reread, Nick is is kind of giving "early version Tristan Thomas from Sierra's Lyonesse Trilogy" vibes. It also has all the hallmarks of a Sierra Simone romance: tragic pining-induced celibacy, there's a nickname with "little" in the beginning, someone is a biter, the lines "I want to be a good stepbrother" are uttered...

Her Virgin Duke by Nicola Davidson

If you're in the mood for a Christmas-themed romance ft. virgin dukes who learn to fuck shockingly fast (wow sex lessons seems to be the theme of these holiday romances), then this is the novella for you! The Duke of Tunbury aka Humdrum Tun is a virgin who doesn't even masturbate until he he meets brothel madam Delilah on a bet, and within days the man's basically an animal in the sack. His learning curve is only matched by that of Beck's from The Major's Welcome Home by Tessa Bailey and Nick Gentry's from Worth Any Price by Lisa Kleypas.

Size Doesn't Matter by Jennie Kew

Sophie is a famous plus-sized model who unwittingly hooks up with her ex(ish)'s younger brother Jack on New Year's Eve, and when she finds out, she's Not Happy. Jennie Kew is a solid erotic romance writer who writes a lot of books with kink, and I've loved nearly even book she's written in her Bennett's Bastards series. This is probably one of the softer books in her series, both tone and sex-wise, but I love how she wrote Sophie being both bigger and taller, and she's in her thirties, but she's still very much a brat sexually— I feel like a lot of authors equate this with dainty little girls— and Jack clocks this right off the bat and is very much here for it. This book also features one of my much-loved tropes often found in Harlequins.... :D

[writers-ex]

A Christmas prompt

nsfw :

After a stressful day at work g!p/strapon chaeryeong fuck the reader under the Christmas tree.

not pg +18

First Christmas with the girls, you can do a liat imagine or a full imagine it’s how you feel the best and comfortable with

(pt2 for the not pg18+ prompt will be posted shortly ^^) enjoy~

the unanswered texts, cut short calls, and door slamming open should've been obvious that something wasn't right with your girlfriend. she only did that when she had a bad day at work and since she hadn't had one in a while you didn't think nothing of it until you see her grumpy expression stay put as you kiss her as a greeting. thinking of how to cheer her up you look down underneath the small christmas tree in the corner of the house and spot your pink present you had wrapped earlier. now seemed like your lover needed some good news more than ever.

"chae why don't we open your gift early this year? i promise not to tell santa if you don't either~" sighing chaeryeong lets you drag her to the tree and sitting on the floor you hand her the gift. as she slowly opens it her eyes widen and eyebrows raise as she sees the packaging.

"b-babe??! did you really buy me this?"

"well…we never really use these but i read the reviews and they say strap-ons do wonders for lovers who need to relieve stress and i thought we could save it for a rainy day but-"

"babe its 12 inches…and i'm stressed. oh we're definitely trying this now." not worrying about taking off her pants chaeryeong stands up to put on the strap and commands you to slide off your pajama bottoms.

"n-no…i-i don't think i-"

"if you don't do it now i'll make you return the gift and tell-'

"OK OK!!! just…i didn't plan this ahead just so you're aware." taking off your bottom you reveal your panties that had a rather large hole located conveniently nearly your hole. drooling at the sight chaeryeong gets on her knees to look at the underwear more closely.

"fuck when did you buy this??"

"a-a few days ago… but i was just trying them on today and then i was going to surprise you another day!!"

"…oh babe i love you so much but i hope you kept the receipt because you're going to need a new pair." thrusting the toy in you raw you let out a cry as chaeryong beings her harsh pounding.

moaning and groaning she keeps her pace until you cum all over her pants and the new toy. "f-fuck you feel so warm against me~ i LOVE my gift babe!" too lost trying to come back down from your high she kisses your back to help a bit. seeing you feel better chaeyeong slowly pulls out making you whimper, taking the strap on chaeryeong can't tell the difference between your cum and her own pussy dripping. watching your girlfriend's confused face looking down at her pants you smirk and sit up.

"need help 'cleaning up' chae? why don't we continue this in the shower?" grinning chaeryeong nods and lifts you up in her arms dragging you the bathroom.

[ebookporn]

Iceland’s Christmas Book Flood Is a Force of Nature

The nation’s seasonal publishing and gifting tradition nourishes its unique literary culture

by Lauren Oster

Bibliophiles the world over cherish the legend of Jólabókaflóð, Iceland’s “Christmas book flood” in which publishers release new titles in time for the holidays. As the story goes, each and every citizen of the remote, ultra-literary nation then gifts and receives books. After they unwrap presents with family and friends on December 24, they curl up with steaming cups of hot chocolate and read long into the subarctic night.

Now, Icelanders the country over don’t all partake in those rituals, but the Jólabókaflóð and the traditions it illustrates aren’t fiction, either. “As with all generalizations about nations and their traditions, there’s a grain of truth to it, but it’s not that simple,” says Gréta Sigríður Einarsdóttir, editor of Iceland Review, the longest-running English-language magazine focused on the country. The real story unfolds like this.

Iceland’s first literature

Since the 12th century, writers have been recording the history of Iceland. That literary history first took the form of sagas—rollicking, poetic accounts of Iceland’s earliest inhabitants and rulers that were composed centuries later by mostly unknown authors. Iceland’s initial independence—and the Icelandic Commonwealth that began when its Alþingi, or national legislature, was established in 930—ended in the late 13th century when it fell under Norwegian and eventually Danish rule. The stories its people composed and told each other of those early and relatively prosperous centuries were points of light in the darkness of the brutal colonial era that followed. The Little Ice Age, a catastrophic cooling of the North Atlantic region that caused crop failure, starvation and pandemics, and lasted for hundreds of years, decimated the population again and again. Resources were limited and scarce, and most families practiced subsistence farming in near solitude. “The very survival of this isolated people during the misery of the five centuries circa 1300-1800 has sometimes been attributed to the sustenance provided by their history, poetry and literature,” wrote sociologist and Iceland scholar Richard F. Tomasson in “The Literacy of the Icelanders,” a paper published in the journal Scandinavian Studies in 1975.

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