#reviews are out and uhhhhhhh

[sophfandoms53]

Who on the movie crew honestly thought people cared enough about Wade to have him be the center of the KNUCKLES show

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Sorry if this is an invasive question, but have you read any specific fics and/or would be comfortable sharing which?

I don’t have an ao3 account so I don’t have a way to keep track of what I have read. But it’s really not that many. Probably like 10-15 in total.

Not really the person to ask for refs as ive barely read any ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...

Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar

Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher

Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy

Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.

People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.

Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY

[horus-unofficial]

Update: Re: Re: Gorgon Frame Mech Moving Without Pilot Input

Thank you for helping with this issue, however it remains unresolved. Since your last correspondence my team has inserted probes into the organic tissue of my Gorgon to monitor its nerve activity, and we got electricians to go over every wire to ensure there were no faulty connections. Our electricians found no issues, despite the occurrences continuing. When we turn our backs on it my Gorgon still moves and our camera and sensor logs go blank, however the movement has progressed.

Now when my Gorgon moves it assumes different positions. While previously its movements could be interpreted defensively, moving out of possible harm or covering weak points, now its movements are aggressive. While performing maintenance on its dorsal joints it stood up and stared at me as I searched for an appropriate sized alan key, and while amputing a mangled finger from an recent battle it raised its arm and readied it as if to punch at me while I stored the severed member.

Fortunately the probes we inserted into its organic tissue did not have their data logs wiped. We can confirm the activity in my Gorgon's nervous system is greatly increased during these episodes. Examining the patterns of the nerve impulses and the chemicals released by the synapses reveals this nervous activity most closely resembles that of pain.

We have also examined other potential avenues for our other data logs to have been wiped. Our investigation into sabatoge has conclusively come clean, and reviewing stellar data reveals that there has been no abnormal stellar activity during these events. We are beggining to believe that my Gorgon is somehow responsible for the gaps in these data logs, despite lacking any AI or NHPs.

We are asking you if my Gorgon could be responsible for these events, and if so how we could stop it. If you don't believe my Gorgon could be responsible we are eager to see if you any theories we haven't considered. I have detailed them all here, but know we have considered and ruled out countless other possibilities.

Sincerely, Medusa

context

man thats a lot of text uhhhhhhh if its developed pain receptors maybe give it some downtime to finish healing organically

as for the log records its pretty typical to find gaps in that when a gorgon is observed extruding basilisk, built in safety measure etc, so check its records on basilisk usage because its either trying to keep something from you or its doing a little experimentation (or both)

[systemrestart]

Took me a while, but I've finally finished writing my thoughts on all 22 Touhou games I've played!!!

I tried to keep it brief but uhhhhhhh it ended up being insanely long anyways ;; Whoops. Maybe someday I'll be able to make full-on video reviews for each of them, there was a Lot I glazed over and a lot that's hard to describe without footage.

But regardless, here it is, my thoughts on Touhou 1-19, plus 9.5, 12.5, and 18.5! (Warning that this may be incomprehensible to a non-bullet hell player 😅)

[TOUHOU 1: HIGHLY RESPONSIVE TO PRAYERS]

The obvious black sheep of the family, HRtP isn't a bullet hell shooter, it's an arkanoid-style breakout game. But even so, I LOVE it. HRtP is very precious to me. It's definitely Hard, VERY hard, and the stage layouts can be a little unfair in places lol, but the controls are tight and responsive, and it's incredibly satisfying to improve.

Or even just to play purely for fun! For a decade, I honestly didn't expect to ever 1cc it, I just enjoyed playing casually, and HRtP is very friendly to that approach, with infinite continues, the ability to max out your starting lives, and a shorter time to complete than the other games. It's almost 30 years old now, but if you like breakout style games or old arcade, I still think it's worth a try! Maybe someone else out there will come to love it as much as I do

[TOUHOU 2: STORY OF EASTERN WONDERLAND]

Touhou's first proper shmup/bullet hell, and it is unquestionably the roughest in the series ;; That's not to say it's bad, just that it's aged a little poorly.

I try not to hold future QoL stuff against the older games, but man, not having a focus option, or health bars for the bosses, is Painful. This game also has some of the worst visibility issues in the series (like, bullets being the same color as the background, with no outline), and also an awful glitch that hurts gameplay (dying SHIFTS YOUR HITBOX. considering that knowing where your hitbox is is VITAL to survival……. yikes), so yeah, I understand why it's not fondly remembered.

But it has its charms!! There's the infamous (gay) conversation in Stage 2, this is the only game in which Genji (Reimu's pet turtle who helps her fly in the PC-98 games) speaks, I think the low cap on lives+easy score 1-ups is an interesting combo, AND this game introduced Marisa!!! Even if her design is very different now

I don't play this one much. If I were to rank all the games this one would probably be second lowest. But it's an okay time and you can still get some tense battles!!

[TOUHOU 3: PHANTASMAGORIA OF DIMENSIONAL DREAM]

The first VS shooter of the series!

Basically the idea is that you clear waves of enemies to both send bullets/attacks at your enemy, and charge your gauge to send even more powerful attacks, or even a boss. First to lose all their health loses the round.

The VS shooters are very chaotic, and the enemy AI can absolutely be unfair ;; But the high energy back-and-forth of a match is extremely thrilling!! I also really adore the final boss of this game, Yumemi Okazaki……. a human college professor from the real world, who came to Gensokyo to try and capture someone to prove magic is real to her school…… and she fights with, science? I find her super charming and fun, one of my favorite final boss characters

Now that I've played other VS shooters, including the game that apparently inspired this one, I can say that PoDD is very rudimentary. But sometimes you don't need a lot of fancy bells and whistles to have fun! Now if only it didn't require button mashing, I would play it more often……..

[TOUHOU 4: LOTUS LAND STORY]

LLS was my favorite Touhou game for a long, long, long time.

A big reason it was a favorite is because it's one of the most beginner friendly games by far. No cap on lives (plus 1-ups are granted by score, one of the easier systems), a free bomb after every stage, you can increase your starting lives significantly, there's a "slowmode" option to help you train, most of the patterns are either exploitable or designed around having no visible hitbox…… etc. It was first game I beat on Hard, way back when I was a teenager and could normally only play Easy mode. That's still a precious memory.

LLS also has one of the best overall soundtracks in the entire series. The fun, dream-like Lotus Love, into the tense and foreboding Sleeping Terror, into the calm anticipation of Dream Land, into an explosive heartpounding finale with Faint Dream ~ Inanimate Dream………. absolutely killer.

LLS has aged a little, it doesn't have much of the "flashy", colorful danmaku Touhou is known for. And despite being GENERALLY pretty easy there are a couple insanely difficult patterns that aren't balanced well. Aside from that, it's a little Too easy for me now (at least on Hard and below), but, I still play it regularly just for fun, and will always have a very special place in my heart for it.

(plus, side note, LLS was the introduction of the Stage 4 gimmick, where something is unique about the 4th Stage, boss, or both. I love Stage 4 gimmicks and miss them dearly in the newer games,,)

[TOUHOU 5: MYSTIC SQUARE]

God I love MS. I love MS so much. Probably my second favorite in the series at time of writing.

MS truly is the Greatest Hits of the PC-98 era. Mima and Yuuka come back as playable characters, the danmaku patterns are fun and unique (so much so that ZUN reused a few of them in future games!!!), it has most of the QoL features LLS had besides the free bombs, it introduced one of my favorite characters (Alice), and this is one of the few games where I actually find the faster characters easier/more fun to play as!! Both due to the bullet patterns themselves and because the 1-up system (point item collection) is especially suited for fast characters.

MS is much harder than LLS, but a lot easier than some of the later Touhou games, so it's a great middle ground in terms of difficulty. I only have 2 major critisicms; 1) while the 1-up system and patterns make fast characters more rewarding, there isn't good balance for the other options, so if you wanna play Yuuka you're kind of screwed. And 2) Stage 4. I actually love the Stage 4 gimmick (dual boss that's followed by a solo fight after you take one of them down), but Lord. Stage 4 has two awful glitches that can happen to you, and bullets that are the exact same color as the background. ZUN why

Besides that though, I think MS just naturally caters to my preferred playstyle (chaotically weaving and dancing through bullet spam), so it's a top tier entry for me :)

[TOUHOU 6: EMBODIMENT OF SCARLET DEVIL]

If MS isn't my 2nd favorite in the series, this one is.

I will say this. EoSD has Aged. Imo, it's aged more than MS has. Being ZUN's first Windows game it's a little rough around the edges; muddy graphics, rough soundfonts, heavier reliance on RNG and bullet spam over intricate patterns, and it's missing certain QoL features that it Feels like it should have (like, the PC-98 games were missing stuff, but those games felt like they were built around the limitations, EoSD has a lot of areas where it FEELS like it was designed with future QoL in mind, but it's just….. missing). It also sucks that EoSD is one of only 2 games that locks you out of the final stage if you play on Easy (LLS is the other one),,

But. EoSD is still beloved for a reason. One of the most solid soundtracks in the series, a fun Stage 4 gimmick (different spellcards for different shot types), score-based 1-up system, the introduction of the Point of Collection line, some Iconic boss battles, etc. AND, one of those weaknesses is actually kind of a Strength for me, because again, my preferred play style is well suited to bullet spam!! Stages 5 and 6 are SO fun for me, even though they're commonly cited as things people DISLIKE about EoSD.

EoSD is definitely unpolished, but it's still one of my top favorites, both for its general strengths and for how it caters well to me personally lol.

[TOUHOU 7: PERFECT CHERRY BLOSSOM]

PCB is my current favorite!!

Of all Touhou games, I feel PCB strikes a perfect balance between being accessible, but also still having challenges for those that want it. The patterns are really a step up from EoSD; with the introduction of a visible hitbox, ZUN could make them both more dense and more complex/unique, but they're designed to still be easily understandable. Other QoL features were added that also help a lot (like the enemy tracker, spellcard indicators on the healthbar, success/fail counters, you can save practice mode replays, etc). There's also good variety in the playable characters, each has their own advantages and disadvantages, and one of the best shot types in the entire series is here (SakuyaA lol).

I feel like just saying that doesn't express my love though, there's truly nothing like weaving through a dense maze of beautiful bullets, and PCB is one of THE best for that feeling. I also love this game's 'special feature'; the cherry borders. Not only are they fantastic for survival and training (the border acting as a shield allows you to try new things and take risks where you otherwise wouldn't/couldn't), you can also utilize them in various way; break them on purpose at optimal points to maximize score, keep them as long as possible to milk graze points, use them to clear difficult patterns and stage sections……. it's just a great system that adds depth without overwhelming the player!!

And of course, I must mention something unique to this game; the Phantasm stage! PCB is the only game that has this. It's basically just a 'hard mode' version of the Extra stage, but, the patterns are both exciting to face and gorgeous to look at, the boss herself is genuinely Iconic, and her theme may be even more so.

PCB is pretty much the full package, and is also my recommendation to new players starting out, 100%.

[TOUHOU 8: IMPERISHABLE NIGHT]

This is the last of Touhou's "holy trio", so to speak, alongside EoSD and PCB. There's not much I can point to that's "wrong" with it, or "worse" than the other two, but idk, I don't feel as positively towards IN. I do still really enjoy it though!

There's a lot of great things about IN; the introduction of Spell Practice, there's two different final stages/bosses, the really cool concept for the playable characters/shot-types (character fight in teams, and once you beat both Finals with all teams you can play as each character individually, for a total of 12(!!!) shot-types), the Stage 4 gimmick is a callback to LLS (you fight Reimu or Marisa depending on your character!!), and of course there's some great bullet patterns in there (Keine and Marisa are standouts to me).

There's a LOT of content, more than most Touhou games, which is great!! But there's definitely some aspects that don't feel well polished, which brings it down a bit. The 'special feature' of this game, the Youkai gauge, is not only insanely confusing and complicated, and it's also not fun OR worthwhile to engage with,,, Maybe if I was a hardcore scorer I'd find some value in it, but…… eh. At least it's not obtrusive or anything. Then there's the solo shot-types….. while it's cool they're there, I don't know if ZUN playtested the solo Humans ;; They are very clearly not designed with solo play in mind and if you like to clear ALL shot-types like I do, this can make it an arduous experience to get through all 12

I think it's mostly these things, plus me feeling kind of neutral on the soundtrack and cast, that make IN not stand out, despite all the content. Still a great game, I play it a lot, just not as often as some other entries.

[TOUHOU 9: PHANTASMAGORIA OF FLOWER VIEW]

The 2nd VS shooter in the series!

Mostly the same exciting, chaotic gameplay as the first one PoDD, though with a few key difference. You can now use Focus, which also ties into a new mechanic, the 'scope', which allows you to freeze falling spirits (helps with setting up combos and crowd control) when they touch it. And, using your spell/special attack gauge causes a 'wave' to ripple out and clear bullets around you. I think overall these are excellent addition and that add fun strategy to gameplay.

However, I'm not great at keeping track of combos or purposefully placing spirits during the constant barrage of bullets,,, And some of the character's scopes are……. not fun to utilize. There's also the same problem I had with PoDD, how rapidly pressing the shoot button hurts my hand over time, and while PoFV actually has an alternate control scheme, that alternative FORCES you into focus mode as you shoot. I want to be able to not think super hard about when and where I shoot, so I can focus on dodging, but this just makes the problem Worse because it hampers my movement ;;

I do like the bullet clearing wave though! Plus, this game introduced one of my favorite characters, Aya, AND brought back Yuuka from the PC-98 era!! It's not a bad game and I've had fun with it. I'm just not crazy about the Touhou VS shooters overall. If I wanna play a VS shooter I'd rather pick something like Twinkle Star Sprites.

[TOUHOU 9.5: SHOOT THE BULLET]

This is the first of the 'photo' games, and I have a soft spot for this one. It can be extremely rewarding to clear a difficult scene, and the whole photography thing is a SUPER interesting take on bullet hell. The one thing that sucks is that there's little incentive to go back to scenes once you've managed to clear them. But I guess that's not the point, it's to slowly conquer the challenges each level throws at you and clear as many as you can.

Very solid game, something you can chip away at over time, if you like bullet hell and like interesting challenges give it a try!!

[TOUHOU 10: MOUTAIN OF FAITH]

MoF is the start of a new era. It's pretty stripped back in terms of gameplay because ZUN wanted to focus on making a basic, polished shmup, and he certainly achieved that. The new engine feel smooth as butter, the graphics and sound are crisp, and the bullet patterns and stages are solid. Some of the core gameplay mechanics have been changed though, and it's a little mixed.

For instance, the bombs have been changed in 2 key ways; there are no longer unique bombs for each shot-type, and using a bomb costs you some of your Power instead of an item. Not having unique bombs takes away an element in picking your shot-type, but I don't mind the bomb itself since it's both effective and powerful. Losing Power can be frustrating, and you can end up in a horrible loop if you lose too much at once, but, MOST of the time I find MoF is very generous with Power, and that combined with not being restricted to bomb items can actually be a really sweet deal.

Most of the other changes are similarly mixed, but ultimately I think they work well together! There's only 1 thing I have major critism of, and that's the removal of practice and accessibility features. There's no more extra starting lives from here on out, which I understand, but it does make me sad, as extra lives allows new players to see more of the game (and allows old players to relax on just-for-fun runs). He also removed Spell Practice, which sucks :( But, by far the most egregious change, is that using a continue starts you over from the beginning of a stage….. and just seeing a stage is NOT enough to unlock it in Practice Mode. This is a HUGE hit to the game's accessibility for new or unskilled players, not even allowing them to practice the stage they're stuck on, or prepare for anything beyond it. If you die on a stage so much you have to continue, what the hell made ZUN think starting the whole stage over with almost no lives would help??

Thankfully, I don't need that accessibility much anymore, and there IS a fanmade practice patch out there. MoF is definitely among my top favorite games of the series, it's just a great basic shmup and great start to the new era. Also shoutout to my favorite final boss theme, Venerable Ancient Battlefield ~ Suwa Foughten Field. Loved it so much as a kid that I would mod it into other games LMAO

[TOUHOU 11: SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM]

SA is considered the 2nd hardest game in the series, and there is good reason for that. Beyond the patterns and stages just generally being pretty difficult, the lives, bombs, and continues system are very punishing in this entry.

The continue system is exactly the same as MoF, which is to say, brutal and unforgiving. Bombs are also tied to power like in MoF, but unlike MoF, Power only goes up to 4.00 instead of 5.00 (with MarisaA as an exception) meaning less bombs overall and leading to the same issues there were in MoF. And, you don't earn full lives, you need 5 life pieces to gain a full extra life, and the one and ONLY way to earn life pieces? Is through clearing boss attacks without bombing or getting hit. There is not even a SINGLE free live in the entire game, you must earn every single one with flawless performance.

This leads to a scenrio where, high skilled players are rewarded with lives they don't need, and less experienced players are basically walled from even practicing. All this, combined with two other factors (some of the weirdest/most difficult to utilize shot-types in the series, and the fact that the actual bombs either suck ass or are also difficult to utilize well), makes SA one of the most "unfriendly" games in all of Touhou project. If not THE most unfriendly.

I have a lot of criticisms of this, and even now I can't say I feel "comfortable" playing through SA. But, (most of) the unique shot-types CAN be rewarding, once you learn how to wield them, and this game has some of the most exciting and challenging bosses. So many fun spellcards……… Satori and Okuu are standouts. Satori's gimmick is also really cool, where her spellcards change based off your shot-type, nearly all of them being alternate version of past spellcards in the series. And of course, this game's cast is absolutely iconic, pairing well with one of the best overall soundtracks in the entire series.

SA is one of those games where I have a lot of fun with it and think it's stellar in terms of music, cast, and bullet patterns, but certain systems and mechanics prevent me from recommending it whole-heartedly to others. There's just a lot of frustrations with it. But it's still fairly high up in my rankings, and there's some value to having a game focused on Skill and skill alone, rather than other gimmicks or resources management or whatnot.

[TOUHOU 12: UNDEFINED FANTASTIC OBJECT]

UFO was the first Touhou game I got to see the release for. It's one of my happiest memories, so my feelings towards UFO may be very biased. Just a warning lol

UFO's "gimmick", the UFOs, is how you engage with basically any other system in the game; you MUST engage with the UFOs if you're going for anything other than a NMNB clear. And ho boy is the UFO system contentious. Not without reason, either. Mid-Bosses and Bosses destroy summoned UFOs which is frustrating, it's super easy to make a mistake with gathering the small UFOs and ruin your combo, if there's small UFOs you don't want on screen they basically act as bouncing projectiles you need to dodge ON TOP of the actual bullets……. etc.

However, while I share a few of those frustrations (damn UFO destroying bosses…..), I find the UFO system to lead to a good combination of routing and room for improvisation. You can memorize when and where certain colored UFOs will drop and plan ahead for them, and if you miss what you need or make a mistake you can still think on the fly and re-route mid playthrough. It's also fun that you can specialize your routing and gameplay towards a specific goal, like stocking tons of bombs to skip difficult stage sections/spellcards, or optimzing for score, or stockpiling lives.

The overall difficulty of the stages and patterns is decently high in UFO (this game is often ranked 3rd hardest in the series), but it can be somewhat mitigated with good planning and resource management. And I personally find a lot of these stages and bosses a Blast to play! Helped again by, of course, having one of the best overall sountracks in the series…. imo at least. The UFO cast is also my personal favorite, AND they get some of ZUN's cutest sprites/artwork :)

The only other real criticism I have is that it shares it's Continue system with MoF and SA. Thank god this is the last game that forces you backwards for continuing ;;;;

While the UFO system has it's downsides, UFO is just a really fantastic entry into the series and a personal favorite of mine. We'll see how I feel once I start tackling the higher difficulties seriously though…… lol.

[TOUHOU 12.5: DOUBLE SPOILER]

Basically the sequel to Shoot the Bullet. There is very little difference, just a new set of characters and cards to face. I personally find this one a LOT harder than StB, and I don't enjoy it quite as much, but it's still a solid game I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed StB.

(EDIT TO ADD: Sometime after I wrote this part, I found an old blog entry from when I was 13, and apparently ZUN explicitly stated DS was meant to be much harder than StB. So, there ya go?)

[TOUHOU 13: TEN DESIRES]

The key phrase for this game overall, imo, is RESOURCE STRANGLEHOLD.

TD is far and beyond the most punishing game in the series, both in terms of resources and the Spirit Gauge/Trance mechanic. The requirement for the amount of pink spirits you need in order to earn an extra Life is brutal right from the start, at 8, and every time you earn a new life this requirement goes up. This doesn't reset when you die, or even when you CONTINUE. That would be brutal enough, but even with OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE, literally no mistakes and perfect utilization of Trance, you earn less lives in this game than in any other. Speaking of pulling of a perfect performance, good fucking luck, because the spirits you need to gather stay right where you killed the enemy, disappearing Quickly, so you have to either have your Trance meter full and ready, or you need to risk your precious few lives to dash up to the top of the screen, in the middle of an absolute clusterfuck of bullets, just for a FRACTION of an extra life.

And of course, there's the real kicker; getting hit causes your entire Trance meter to be used up, and it takes a quite a bit to refill it, especially because again, spirits Do Not Fall the way items do, you have to seriously risk your life for them.

Basically, TD is a very, VERY routing-heavy game, and if you make even ONE mistake it can cause your entire playthrough to unravel. It's super frustrating. There are only 2 saving graces here….. 1) you at least get to keep any extra bombs you had in stock after you die, and 2) TD has some of the easiest boss fights in Touhou. I actually find the spellcards super fun, so by sort of-kind of routing the stages and doing well against the bosses, I was able to find some joy in TD. But that is obviously in spite of the mechanics, not because of them ;;

I will say, though, that it's interesting to have a game designed to make you "boss graze", ie stay dangerously close to the boss and move around them to catch spirits. Interesting concept and it helps train you on a high-level skill.

TD was my least favorite Touhou game for a long, long time. I've softened on it a bit, fun bullet patterns are fun no matter what, but goddamn. This one's ROUGH. And sadly, the OST is pretty middling for me, though it DOES have a few standouts (Desire Drive, Youkai Shrine Back Road, Small Desire's Starry Night Sky)!!

[TOUHOU 14: DOUBLE DEALING CHARACTER]

Ah. DDC. My nemesis.

I actually don't mind this game's special mechanic; using the point of collection line to earn life and bomb pieces. I actually think it's fun and rewarding, though that could just be because I already go to the PoC line as much as possible anyways lol. No, my problem is not with the mechanic, or the life and bomb pieces. This game commits the most fatal of all sins in bullet hell; the bullet patterns are Not Fun.

So many of the patterns in the this game have 'gimmicky' movements, sometimes bordering on Random, and this is often used in combination with one of my greatest weaknesses, bullets coming at you from both above and below, at the same time. This makes them an absolute nightmare to read. There's also a ton of a bullets that are either oddly shaped with confusing hitboxes, or made huge which also makes their hitboxes confusing. And unfortunately, the stages and bosses that don't suffer from this generally have pretty bland forgettable patterns. I can't think of a single attack in DDC I would describe as "fun", and that's unheard of in the rest of the series.

Worse yet, the shot-types themselves……. half of them are 'gimmicky', kind of like SA shot-types were, but the SA shot-types had special extra mechanics that could be mastered and were rewarding to utilize, if uncomfortable to get used to. These shot-types are just plain Uncomfortable, or are underwhleming ;; MarisaB has a bomb that makes it possible to milk life and bomb pieces like crazy and basically cheese the whole game, but that's not fun either :( I wanna be able to PLAY the game and enjoy it…… but I can't.

And the final nail in the coffin…… DDC also happens to have my least favorite soundtrack and, imo, a very bland and unmemorable cast. I feel so sad saying that because I think there's some unique youkai here, but MOST OF their designs don't stick out/are pretty plain, and they feel very disconnected from Gensokyo at large. Maybe if I saw them in print materials I'd feel different, but as it stands…… :/

I want to say some nice things though, so here's what I've got. Wakasagihime has a great design (it's just…. y'know, she's a Stage 1 boss, so there's not much of her. Super sad considering I desperately wanted a mermaid Youkai). Raiko also has a cool design, AND she has the best theme in the game. Uhh…… the PoC line mechanic giving you an extra life piece instead of a bomb if you collect enough point items is a good feature that rewards smart planning and risk management. The Stage 2 boss has lasers you can avoid by staying completely still which is hilarious.

I…. think that's it. Let me say for the record, I'm open to changing my mind!! I softened on TD as I got better, found things I could enjoy in it despite my issues, so that could happen someday with DDC. It's just right now, nearly everything about DDC bounces me right off it, so it's the only Touhou I genuinely don't enjoy playing,, Hopefully someday that will change……

[TOUHOU 15: LEGACY OF LUNATIC KINGDOM]

LoLK is a bit of an odd ball, for sure. While you can play it like a regular Touhou game (using "Legacy" mode), the main mode of LoLK is "PointDevice", which plays very differently. It's focused on "perfection", and very precise movement and dodging, making you retry to same sections and attacks over and over again til you do them right.

You also earn Life pieces (Legacy) and Bomb pieces (PointDevice) via grazing, which requires you to risk your life getting super close to the bullets. All that, in combination with very dense and overwhleming bullet patterns, makes LoLK the hardest Touhou game by a long shot. Especially in Legacy mode, where you can't just retry over and over.

I honestly don't care for PointDevice much, especially because if there's a section/attack you CANNOT pass no matter how hard you try, and you've already used all your bombs, you're kind of fucked and Have to restart the entire thing ;; But, I still find Legacy mode fun, and as someone who loves to graze when I can, being rewarded for it feels good, AND allows for some really creative and interesting patterns/routing. On the higher difficulties, there's way more bullets to milk for graze, too. On one hand it's a little frustrating that it's HARDER to earn resources on Easy and Normal, but on the other hand you can argue that the extra resources help balance the insane pattern difficulty of Hard and Lunatic.

I'm not good enough to beat LoLK on Normal yet (it's the last one left for me), but I still think it's a pretty solid game overall, and I like to replay certain stages (2, 3, 5, and 6) on Easy just for fun.

[TOUHOU 16: HIDDEN STAR IN FOUR SEASONS]

Wasn't a huge fan of this one at first, but I've warmed up to it! Mostly

While this is not the first game with bullet erasers, it is the first to feature them so prominently, aside from maybe PoFV. It comes in the form of the Release system, which basically allows you to massively power down your shot type in exchange for clearing bullets (how much you power down and how many bullets are erased/for how long depends on your sub weapon choice). I think the way it can be utilized both for survival and for scoring is pretty cool. It can also be really broken if you know exactly where to use them, adding another element to routing and memorization. But it can also be handy during my casual play…… if you remember it exists. lol. I admit that I struggle to use any C key function properly ;; But that's a personal issue

The shot types are definitely interesting in this game. Instead of the standard fare, you pick a character (who always has the same shot) and then pick a "sub weapon" based on one of the other character's shots (or you can pick your own to make it stronger). This results in there being a whopping SIXTEEN COMBINATIONS, each with slightly varying properties. Lord. While I think I prefer having a smaller pool of unique and optimized shot types, this is a neat concept, if a bit overwhelming if you're like me and want to clear EVERY combination ;; But still, it allows you to sort of customize to what you're most comfortable with, or what will help you the most (for example, the Cirno/Summer sub weapon gives you short releases you can use repeatedly, but the weapon itself sucks ass as a tradeoff. So pairing it with a faster/more powerful character balances things a bit!), which is pretty cool.

My major complaints about this game are the 2 difficulty spikes; the Stage 5 bosses, and Okina's final spellcard(s). The Stage 5 bosses use the dreaded "random and erratic" bullet behaviour I hated so much in DDC, though thankfully only for SOME attacks. They're still a big spike compared to the rest of the game, even compared to Okina's fight……. until the end. Okina's final cards are super cool in concept, stripping you of your sub weapon and forcing you to just Dodge Or Die…….. but in practice it is PAINFUL, especially since it's the last obstacle before victory. She even has a bomb shield………. wtf. Brutal. All 4 variants are bad, but the Summer version is by far the worst, in my opinion one of the hardest final spellcards in the entire series.

There's also the extra stage, which is mostly spent dodging stuff coming from behind you (my nightmare), but that's more of a skill issue on my part ;; Overall, while the cast is very disconnected and don't leave a strong impression, the music is pretty damn good, the stages are fun, and the mechanics are interesting, even if they're a bit shakey and abusable. Not a top favorite but I like HSiFS :)

[TOUHOU 17: WILY BEAST AND WEAKEST CREATURE]

This game has a similar special mechanic to UFO, but I think it's a little better implemented here.

There are no "shot types" as it were; your choices are whether to power up your unfocused attacks, your focused attacks, or your bombs. This kinda makes it hard to have a preference, as each attack is better at different points in the game, so it's really up to you what's more important. I kind of like this, even though I still prefer variety, it means I can use other characters more freely.

I also like this version of the 'collect stuff on screen' mechanic, there's more leeway for mistakes (you can still activate "Roaring/Hyper" mode without having a perfect collection of matching spirits) AND the benefits are better (it protects you from hits while active, just like the cherry borders in PCB!! and you get either a massive boost to damage or a bullet eraser)! Like with UFO though, there is risk with chasing the Spirits all over the field, and it can lead to some frustrating deaths and distractions. But that's just part of what you have to manage, I think it's a fun system overall :)

What is Not Fun is an issue that actually started back in TD, but I haven't mentioned it yet, because WBaWC has it the Absolute Worst; VISIBILITY ISSUES. Your own shot, ESPECIALLY in Roaring/Hyper mode, can become so dense and flashy that it is near impossible to read the bullet patterns. Or see the bullets At All. Which is, yknow, a problem in a bullet hell game. On top of that, the whole game is tinted red, and full of red bullets, which is sick as hell on paper, but in practice makes a huge portion of the game become slurry to the eyes. And the Enemy tracker, which had its text removed back in TD, is more a problem in this game than in any other because the color of the tracker matches the color of the window border, so you may as well not even have it.

There's also a major problem in the Stage 5 boss (and in one final boss spellcard), with the stupid statues that are summoned……. I already don't like these kinds of "familiars", they''re always a pain no matter what, but WBaWC takes it to another level, as they soak up so much damage that very few of the shot types can kill them before you get body slammed or completely overwhelmed.

WBaWC is really fun and cool and has some great music and designs, but it feels…… almost like ZUN didn't fully playtest it before release. An issue that is going to persist into the final entries………. but it's still enjoyable overall, at least.

[TOUHOU 18: UNCONNECTED MARKETEERS]

I have a lot of fondness for it, but MAN is this game unbalanced lol

There's the obvious, which is the card system. I think the card system is a cool idea and can be fun to play around with, it's exciting when you get exactly the card you wanted, but there are certain cards/combinations that can kind of break the game, and it can be BRUTAL if you get nothing but trash cards on your run, and there are a Lot of 'trash cards'. And once you figure out your favorite card combo it's likely you'll never mess with anything else. Not strictly a bad thing, just a thing.

But then there's the real kicker…… Marisa. People are 100% right when they say this game is "anti-Marisa". I've tried not to mention the shot types I dislike (like most Youmu and Sakuyas), because that's a very personal/skill based issue, but here, the way this game is designed feels actively Hostile towards Marisa. It's hard to describe, but both bosses and stages are set up to have you fly all over the screen, or move off the sides a lot, and her range is EXTREMELY narrow………. AND both the shots and her bombs have been massively nerfed??? She's no longer the most powerful character, so there isn't even a trade off for picking the harder option. Seriously why the hell did ZUN nerf her AND make almost the entire game hostile to straight-forward shots?????

Well, whatever the reason, it makes her PAINFUL to play as. But, if you play as one of the fun shot types……. this game is pretty fun!! The first half a Little plain with it's boss patterns but the second half is a blast!!! If MAYBE a bit unfair (Megumu…….) ;; And the OST is fantastic all the way through. Plus, I just love the characters that were introduced, especially the 'masterminds', Megumu, Tsukasa, and Chimata. Very fun additions to the world of Gensokyo, I really hope we get to learn more about Megumu as the Crow Tengu chief.

If you're looking consistent play, look elsewhere, but for a fun time with light luck based elements this is a great game (if you don't play Marisa. Or Sakuya. lol)

[TOUHOU 18.5: 100TH BLACK MARKET]

Now this is an unique one! You go through stages that are split into semi-randomized sections, and along the way you gather money to buy cards. Bullet money buys cards during a run, and regular money lets you buy cards out of a shop so you can equip them from the start. So it's like….. a rouge-like shooter? Kinda?

I personally had fun with this. It's a little simple, and it can get repetitive, but it was nice because if I didn't have much time but wanted to mess around with bullet hell, I could boot this up and play a couple rounds to gather money for cards!!

Once you buy all the cards and earn all the achievements there's no reason to ever come back, which is sad, but idk, I had a good time milking bullets for money and slowly filling my collections. It shares some of the randomness issues with UM and is a little half-baked but I would still recommend giving it a shot, especially because it gives Marisa her time to shine after getting shafted in UM!

[TOUHOU 19: UNFINISHED DREAM OF ALL LIVING GHOSTS]

The final one so far!! I'll be honest, I've beaten it 21 times now I STILL don't understand how most of the mechanics work. Things just Happen and I either dodge or die. But what I can speak on is the downright bizarre balancing issues and the plethora of missing features.

The difficulty and balancing is wack. The vast majority of the characters feel underpowered already, and to top that off, only a small number of characters have bullet-clearing abilities, which is an absolutely MASSIVE advantage in this game, meaning that some characters are just objectively better than others. The story routes each character takes can also vary wildly in difficulty, making some paths a breeze and others nearly impossible even for the best players in the world.

But the most concerning thing for me is the missing features. No score? No "clear" achievement or signifier for different difficulty levels?? NO REPLAYS????? I can deal with the lack of score since I'm not a score player (yet), but having no indication or reward for 1ccing, and having no way to save or share your run without recording every single play session………. god. Idk, maybe it's silly, but that stuff is VERY important to me :( I'm still so sad about it, and it makes anything you achieve in the game feel….. hallow.

That being said, it's not all bad!! I love the new characters and their designs, there's some really interesting experimentation going on in the OST, I think the 'shield' mechanic adds a fun layer to gameplay (trying to make sure you're ready to restore the shield if it breaks while also trying to send over attacks and dodge)…… and I mean, dodging bullets is dodging bullets, so it's gonna be fun at least some of the time!!

Honestly, I just wish ZUN has balanced it more carefully, gave other characters more power or bullet-erasers, had more people play test it………. and of course, I wish it had replays and a way to track 1cc's :(((

--

And that's it! If you read any of that, thank you, I know it was long ;;;;; But I had fun, I'm glad I got to talk a lot about my favorite game series :^)

[eponymous-rose]

I'm gonna do this again because it turned out last week kinda went off the rails without it and the little bit of accountability is super super helpful.

Monday!

It's a busy week! It's also my birthday week! Let's do this!

E-mail with coffee: sent a prospective grad student a congratulations on her admission to our program. I'm really hoping to hire her, but I do need to consider whether I might want to admit two students for this position and just get the extra funding for the second one elsewhere if both decide to come. Hmm. Confirmed coffee on Friday with the wonderful admin I've been wanting to befriend for a while - finally we'll interact outside of paperwork! Sadly Wednesday's seminar speaker is ill and won't be able to present - I'm leading the seminar so that does add up to a little less work for me, which is the silver lining there. One of my student groups is struggling to grab data from the weather station they built on the roof because the dang software doesn't work on Macs - managed to coordinate getting them a loaner PC laptop from the department, whew. Completed two letters of reference for an undergrad student applying to internships. Somehow managed to double-book a meeting and gave one a heads up to cancel. Showed my availability for scheduling a PhD defense for a student whose committee I'm on. One of the speakers for my seminar series sent a somewhat passive-aggressive e-mail to the department chair to let him know his info's not up on the website yet. Department chair forwarded it to me, I replied with, essentially "hold your dang horses, your talk isn't until mid-March". He replied back with a sheepish apology. All good.

Formulated my list of essential stuff for this week:

finish Wednesday's (and next week's?) lecture(s?)

prepare next week's homework & key

work on grant proposal

work on commissioned review article

So excited that we're finally to the part of the class that I have taught before in past years! Great lecture today about statistical data analysis. Hurt everyone's brains with the Monty Hall problem. Showed a lot of XKCD comics, got some laughs. Good times. Answered some student questions on the homework assignments, looks like everyone's on track to ace this one as well. This is a really strong class and I'm very proud of them!

On to a virtual meeting with my peer mentoring group! We talk about how utterly wild it is that different departments manage research funding in completely different ways. I vent a bit for the umpteenth time about having to rely 100% on grants to pay my grad students (bigger departments often have student funding provided if they TA, but we just don't have enough classes to sustain that). Easily the biggest source of stress in my life right now is running out of funding for my students: "in order to pay your graduate students, you have to receive a major grant" "cool! how likely am I to get one?" "success rates are about 1 in 15" "uhhhh" "also the applications (if you manage to find a perfect match for your research) take about 40-60 hours to plan and write and it's not work that's looked at formally as part of your tenure review so you're actively taking time away from research" "uhhhhhhh" "and you won't find out if you have been awarded the grant or not before you have to make the decision to hire a student so you just gotta gamble on it" "UHHHHHHH" "you don't get paid in the summer either unless you pull in 2-3 grants that can each cover one month max of salary so I hope you're not putting well over 50% of your take-home toward rent in one of the worst markets in the US or anything haha." It's A Lot. But it's very helpful to talk to people about it!

Realized I left my half-finished Wednesday lecture on my computer at home so I can't work on it during my break between meetings. Shoot, guess that's a tomorrow problem. At least I can work on the homework assignment! This one was an absolute nightmare last year but I think I've come up with a way to simplify it while still hitting all of the learning goals. It's complicated but hopefully very satisfying and builds on everything they've learned thus far. Even with the simplification, I'm definitely expecting some traffic in office hours next week. Opted not to include the more tedious section of the homework because I've tested that particular skill amply in the earlier assignments this quarter. Ran through it once on my own, sent myself the key, then posted the homework and the submission portal for their online module for next week, so all I'm missing now is the lectures.

E-mail break! A professor at a small university nearby wants to bring in a grad student from my group to talk to her class about tornadoes! I have someone in mind (who is both a great presenter and also could use a little confidence boost to get back on track with his research), but of course he's working remotely on the other side of the country, so it's time for a quick check to see if a remote presentation is possible. Checking in on my seminar speaker for next week - project title and abstract up on the website, phew. She's a grad student, so I should find out if her advisor can introduce her or if they want me to do so (and if so, I gotta do some digging for fun facts to share!). Got an invite to a lunch with the faculty & chair where we're going to be brainstorming our next faculty hire, so I gotta be there for that (also because free food)! Surreal to think that we might be hiring my colleague for the next 30 years. It's... kind of intimidating and I definitely want to be in the room for that discussion. Aha! A reply already: virtual talk is fine, so I put the professor and my grad student in touch.

Nice virtual meeting with my former postdoc advisor - we commiserate for a while over his recent illness, but he's feeling better now so we quickly jump back to talking research. The small grant I was awarded recently actually dovetails with some of the broader research ideas he and I had been talking about, so I'm gonna keep him in the loop on that!

Up next: a meeting with my two undergraduate research interns. They're coadvised by my colleague who is flying research aircraft on the other side of the country right now so it's just the three of us. Due to holidays and conferences, this is actually the first time in 2023 we all managed to meet! We go over some paperwork to make sure they get college credit for this research. They're spinning their wheels a little bit but I had them shoot off a couple emails while I was there to start them getting their data ASAP. We then chatted about severe weather we'd all witnessed. One of the students mentioned she's been saving the candy from my office candy bowl for whenever she forgets to bring lunch to campus and now I'm realizing I should maybe get some protein bars or something for some variety.

All good stuff. There's a seminar in 15 minutes but it's a chemistry seminar so... I may just sneak home a bit early.

Tomorrow: no meetings (maaaybe one remote meeting), so work-from home! Should be able to get the last bit of coursework done for the week so I can start on my research to-do list.

[nekokaicafe]

This week's special: quiche with bacon, cheese, and veggies.

Recipe here, I used the crust recipe they link to.

This was my first attempt at a pie crust from scratch! There were some uhhhhhhh learning experiences but in the end the crust made it into the pan and got baked and turned out great! One caveat: the recipe says to prebake it for 10 minutes at 375. I noticed some reviews complaining of soggy bottoms, so I blind baked it for 10 minutes and then took out the foil and beans and gave it another 10. That seemed to do the trick. The crust is flaky and delicious. The filling is fucking phenomenal. I added bell pepper, baby bella mushrooms, and spinach to mine because I need to put more vegetables in my face and this looked like a perfect veggie vehicle. I do wish I'd gotten a red or orange bell pepper for color reasons, oh well.

I did not need to put a shield on the crust, and with about 10 minutes left to bake it was all I could do to not just yank the thing out of the oven and unhinge my jaw and eat it whole. I let it cool for about half an hour or so and the smell drove me crazy the whole time.

This is the best damn quiche I have ever had. Hands down. I bet it will slap with a little salsa on top later, too. It was supposed to be my breakfast for the whole week but I'm not sure it'll survive to Wednesday.

[bakurapika]

i needed to ward off The Horrors so i fulfilled my childhood dreams and bought a go set.

BUT.

constrained by $ (like im willing to shell out but like $100 max. i won't get into the financial justifications rn)

and also, i may or may not be buying a house in a few days. so i have no idea what my address will be in december. so it has to ship soon

so ok im sharing pics!!! technically i bought 1 (one) go set (i am not sure terminology because it is uhhhhhhh not uhhhhh yknow Fancy) and 1 (one) separate board. (i also hesitate to call it a goban because it's like plywood or something lol)

based on reviews, i don't think those cute containers for the go stones are included. however, they are glass, not plastic!!

tbh since i am still barely learning how to play, and have no real expectations of becoming good at the game, i am investing in these as a Sensory Nice Thing as much as an actual game board. so buying anything with plastic stones seems counter intuitive. like, you wouldn't be like "wow i love marbles! i just bought my first set" and pull out a bag of bouncy balls. the point of marbles is the Satisfying Click and the Smooth Mouthfeel*

*disclaimer: do not eat marbles. or go stones. even if they are forbidden candy

for similar reasons, i bought a go board from the same manufacturers/sellers. no reviews on amazon but im risking it. (the portable go mat was reviewed favorably)

again, because it definitely seems like a big appeal of go is the Clicky Noises. (yes, i am a slime connoisseur as well. what of it)

in both cases tho, the boards are actually full size, which is apparently a rarity. even in Real Life In Person Stores that sell go (none near me that were in stock...), they are apparently mini versions. the real ones are like 17" square or bigger, versus a lot of the ones for sale here being like 11" square. and hell. IF i am a homeowner next week, i will have the room for a full size board. so there.

[sirensplayhouse]

I remember some sub maker on insta circulated a form over loa insta how using affirmations like "3D is not real" "3D is not real reality " Harmed them and shared results through subroom's account (if you were in LOAvinsta u must be knowing her) and there were 100s of people saying that how bad it made there mental health some even wrote her brother s*icid3d 😥 becoming depressed and he used to use them as some regular affirmations for sc ... IT'S QUITE SENSITIVE THING I SHOULD NOT HAVE WROTE BUT SINCE THIS THING CAME UP..... I guess we should not ignore these things saying these are only few cases

uhhhhhhh that’s sad😕I definitely highly recommend if you’re gonna listen to a sub check out the pinned comment of what affirmations they use and if they had reviews definitely check them out

[popculturebuffet]

Spongebob: Rock a Bye Bivalve Review (Patreon review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and happy pride! And for my friend Emma’s patreon review, you can get your own right here by pledging 5 bucks or more, guaranteed every month WITH a bonus one time review on signup, this month she went with a classic.

This is also my first time covering spongebob on the blog and it’s a series I have a fond connection to, having grown up with it as a kid , even having voted in the poll to pick an ending for Shanghied! , and seen it PLENTY years later when my niece, one of my nephews and my nibling all grew up on it. While the series did hit a rough patch, it’s first few seasons are great and unlike family guy which I suffered through two episdoes of (and enjoyed one) last week, it rebounded eventually, I just haven’t gotten around to it. Still don’t think the show needs 80 dozen spinoffs when you have shows just asking for revivial or spinoffs stinking in your vault, but Nick has never been a company that made rational or likeable desicions, why start now? 

So I’m happy to  cover the series even if this review will likely be short. 

For those who haven’t seen the episode, and if not i’ts on paramount+ with the rest of the series and I HIGHLY recommend it, rock a bye byvale is a season 3 episode, the show’s best season in my eyes. The episode follows Spongebob and Patrick as they find a baby scallop in the wild, adopt it and quickly take on the roles of mom and dad. That really is the episode in a nutshell: Spongebob and Patrick adopt a child and play house with it, and it’s as caked with subtext as it sounds. Thi sis the same series that faked us out with the idea patrick LICKED spongebob once so they clearly knew what they were doing. 

And while the episode has aged a little, the idea that a kid needs  amale and a femlae was outdated evne at the time as was the sterotype in a same sex relationship that one’s the “woman, it still largely works: I feel any implications are just accidental, which dosen’t make them entirely okay, but it’s clear it’s all in good fun instead of actually harping gay people and the real lintention is more two big oversized kids playing house, and thus feeling it needs a mom and a dad since that’s what they knew. Hell patrick even is eager to be a mom too and only dose’nt because “This would be kinda shocking”. Their not enforcing gender roles out of any malice, but because it’s what these two idiots know and it lightly decontructs it by having Spongebob be overworked, doing basically all the work. .while Patrick goofs off all day. It’s clearly just there to be silly fun and mlik Spongebob and Patrick having HEAVY ho yay between each other for all ti’s worth. Seriously they knew people shipped them even this early.. and I can’t say I blame them. Though what his sexuality is.. is an engima. Seriously nick trotted him out for pride with other queer characters a few years back and it still baffles me. He dated a krabby patty so he’s probably pansexual since she was a female crabby patty, or maybe bi like me, but otherwise it’s never been clear and it feels weird putting him out there just because the gay community took him in. If your going to make him some form of LBGTQ+ then fine, but don’t take credit for something you haven’t done.  

The jokes here are all classics and while it’s likely because i’ve seen this episode a LOT across two generations, they still hold up, and from minute one with Spongebob playin gwith a box and of course Patrick’s response to a baby being “I’LL TAKE CARE OF THIS” and almost ending the episode right there. Pitch perfect black comedy. There’s tones of all time’s classic “Uhhhhhhh”, “OVERTIME!” “A donut?”, and the ending is just pure greatness. It’s a perfectly paced episode that jumps around enough you don’t get bored but stays well focused. Again I don’t relaly have a ton to say here, it’s really hliarious, expertly timed and still holds up decently despite the age spots. It’s a good classic spogebob episode and I highly recommend it. Thanks for reading. 

[whitneydaniell]

by: L.S. Stratton Published: Mar 28, 2023 Genre: Thriller, Murder Mystery, Fiction 320 Pages, Paperback

★★★

GoodReads Synopsis:

Tasha Jenkins has finally found the courage to leave her abusive husband. Taking her teenage son with her, Tasha checks into a hotel the night before their flight out of D.C. and out of Kordell Jenkins’s life forever. But escaping isn’t so easy, and Tasha soon finds herself driving back to her own personal hell. As she is leaving, a white woman pounds on her car window, begging to be let in. Behind the woman, an angry man is in pursuit. Tasha makes a split-second decision that will alter the course of her she lets her in and takes off.    Tasha and Madison Gingell may have very different everyday realities, but what they have in common is marriages they need out of. The two women want to help each other, but they have very different ideas of what that means . . .   They are on a collision course that will end in the case files of the D.C. MPD homicide unit. Unraveling the truth of what really happened may be impossible‒and futile. Because what has the truth ever done for women like Tasha and Madison?

My Review:

Uhhhhhhh, where to begin?

I love a good murder mystery but I hate terrible, unlikable characters. Tasha and her son, Ghalen are both.

An unsuspecting Tasha invites a stranger, Madison, into her car to save her from her abusive husband - or so she thinks. Madison then reaches out to thank Tasha, invites her to lunch, then drops a bomb on Tasha as she is heading to the METRO to get home. Tasha is a victim of domestic abuse and ultimately, she is returning home from this lunch right back to the man who has been holding her captive!

Here are some areas where things fall off the tracks for me:

Tasha leaves the hotel to return to Kordell because her 17-year-old son wants to stay. He is 17. He can make that decision for himself. If he is unwilling to see his father for who he really is and has your best interest at heart, LEAVE HIM THERE WITH THAT MAN AND GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

Madison's proposition to Tasha. Madison is not an intelligent criminal if this was her plan all along because now, you've been seen in public with this woman. You've messaged her on IG - which could be used as evidence. Not only with Tasha but, you're talking on the phone with Summer about committing a crime. That's like, the number 1 rule when doing dumb sh*t; don't leave a paper trail or have conversations on the phone. Word to American Gangster!

Morris was way too nice and way too willing to go along with Tasha's dumb sh*t. As a man, how could you walk around with this woman knowing what her husband is doing to her? Why not go to the police to try to save her?

Ghalen! I saw his abusive tendencies coming a mile away. Sadly, Tasha is a mother that we all know; a mother who loves her son instead of raising him. That boy is immature and emotionally stunted and from the moment he was able to discern what was going on around him, he should have been in therapy. For seventeen years he witnessed his father abuse his mother. Not only that but, his mother has only babied and pacified him, his actions, and his behaviors. He was insufferable.

For a murder mystery, it had a great twist. But for me, when there are no redeemable characters, and no one to root for, it makes it hard for me to "like" the book as a whole. Detective Simmons was the only character who had some sense and even he got on my nerves. You cannot function off of lack of sleep and 12 cups of coffee.

I've said it before about murder mysteries: usually, the cops are useless and dumb but, Simmons sniffed out the right clues immediately.

Final Thoughts: The story was cool, I'd give it a 4/5. The characters killed it for me tho, they're a 1/5.

One-Word Summary: 818 Wicker Street

[duskoscrawl]

X is for uhhhhhhh Xylophone - the Terror (crack)

I haven't seen the terror. I don't want to see the terror. My best friends have seen the terror. They like it very much.

Here's a crack au of 'what if there was a xylophone in the terror?' told through my limited knowledge of the terror.

Reviews are in: its [tom cardy french voice] uh very bad choice, sir (affectionate)

Happy Neil banging out the tunes day to my polar bear banging out the tunes fic I wrote for a laugh for @silvermagpies and @doctors-star. it made some people laugh, I'm told. (Context on the title: I was trying to finish an alphabet of crit role fics and I pitched this as a joke to my flatmate (and then got in the shower, wrote it in my head, got out, typed it up, and published it))

[avengerrs]

i think part of the reason why so many of us our losing our minds over phase four is because we’re actually seeing what a difference it makes when you have female directors. we have kari skogland for tfatws, kate herron for loki, cate shortland for black widow, and soon to be chloé zhao with the eternals, making SO MUCH of the mcu content we received this year directed by women. it’s just nice to see women in the directing chair for the mcu and honestly just in general. that’s all. it’s been long overdue <3

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

[pottedfairies]

candids ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*they/them*

[aritany]

TAG GAME: 1 star Goodreads review

rules: introduce your wip by writing a 1 star goodreads review of it!

tagged by: @iunre - thanks scout! i've been hyped to try this out!

All The Colours by A. Elenko

rating: ★☆☆☆☆

i'm angry about this book and here's why: there's way too many characters and the one that we do get to focus on spends the first like, dozen chapters moping about her problems instead of solving them. like, oh poor aila this, poor aila that. then she gets all butthurt about other people not communicating when she could solve like 90% of her internal "woes" with one brutally honest conversation.

i'm not even sure what i read. where is the plot? enormous cast like the author was trying to stuff as many diverse people in as possible to get woke points. incredibly disappointing and frustrating read.

also, her friend mayu sucks.

the 1 star is for jonah osorio, the only thing that made this book worth reading.

(holy shit i've never roasted myself so hard in my life uhhhhhhh)

i'm tagging: @paxtonwrites @reininginthefirewriting @leah-yasmin-writes @writeblrfantasy @vitrichor @haldimilks @dahladahlabills @anxiousacebooks @ellatholmes @austrohungarianwriteblr @themidnxghtwriter @humour-and-hyperfocus @alicewestwater and of course, anyone else who sees this and would like to subject themselves! (no pressure, as usual!)