#rhodey could be Tony's wingman in this

[moritashie]

I HAVE A FIC IDEA vol #5

• Tony and Peter start spending some time together after the events of Homecoming. Sometimes Tony would invite Peter over to the compound to tinker in the lab, other times he would join Spider-Man on some mission a little over the teen's level.

∘ While these meetings become something more frequent, they always end up doing something that requires his influence, is connected with a lot of public, his status as a superhero etc.

• Gradually, Tony finds himself spending more and more time checking in on the kid, whether it is through the baby monitor protocol, talking with May or the kid himself.

∘ Rhodey points that fact out one time they decide to have a drink at a bar together, joking about Tony becoming quite parental when it comes to Peter, and that leads Tony to the realization that he does in fact view Peter as his kid.

∘ At the same time he realizes that Peter must feel nowhere near the way he does. To the hero-worshipping kid he must only the "OMG it's freaking Ironman!", and he figures out that he is quite bothered by that fact. He has to change it.

• Tony devises a special plan to do as many awesome (read: fatherly) things with Peter as possible, to distance himself from the media image of Tony Stark.

FOR EXAMPLE (but doesn't have to be any of these)

∘ Building a tree-house together

∘ Teaching Peter how to make Italian pasta

∘ Going camping with him and Rhodey

∘ Organizing a Movie night with snacks

∘ Telling Peter some more casual/wild stories from his youth, (ones that Peter could relate to)

[invncibleiron]

@bokketo sent (like months ago but i only saw now im so sorry): 

"I refuse to drink around you but I'm not dealing with being dumped on an empty stomach. Do you have chocolate? I need chocolate."

Tony wished he could be the sort of person who wasn’t beat by a bottle. He didn’t like to think that his greatest enemy--worse than giant lizards, world-ending robots, and alien invasions--was a liquor cabinet, but Rhodey was right. He was never going to be the friend who brought his buddy out to the bar and played wingman to get him back on his feet after a bad breakup. At least, not anymore. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t commiserate. 

At this point, Avengers tower was stocked with so much food, he was pretty sure he was singlehandedly keeping their local grocery store open--and their shelves empty. Feeding a team of super-powered people from across the world meant a lot of food and a diverse range of tastes. From a cupboard by the fridge, Tony pulled out a whole basket of chocolates, some imported directly from Sweden, some cheap Hershey’s, and several different candy bars and types that had the Avengers’ faces printed on the packaging after their last promotion. Tony specifically found a bar with War Machine printed on the front and handed it over. 

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing, Honey Bear,” he said. “She only wishes she could be cool enough to be on a--what is this?--on a Snickers. You know what, that was probably the problem. You’re not you when you’re hungry, right? She was out of her mind, tragically Snickers-less.” He took a seat at the table next to Rhodey. “Do we want to talk about what happened?” 

[mariana-oconnor]

hey! I saw your post asking for prompts, what about stevetony meeting at a wedding au? :)

Ooh, Stony!

This one is a little inspired by the wedding I went to last week, if only the weather. 😅

Background Winterhawk because they had to meet at someone's wedding.

*

Tony may be at the wrong wedding.

Rhodey’s left him five voicemails. In Tony’s defence, he put his phone on silent for the ceremony - it’s only polite.

He grabs another canape from the tray passing by and scans the crowd for anyone he recognises, but no. He’d thought it was strange he didn’t recognise the names of the grooms. He’d thought it was strange that there were two grooms when he swore he remembered a bride on the invitation, but honestly, he gets invited to events like this every year and most of the people he’s only ever met in passing.

Out on the lawn, the grooms are being arranged in progressively more bizarre poses by the camera women, and Tony watches in amusement as he hits the button to call Rhodey.

“Tones, where the fuck are you?” he asks as soon as he picks up.

“I’m at the wedding, where are you?” Tony replies, making a show of looking around even though he knows Rhodey isn’t here.

“I’m at the wedding,” Rhodey tells him. He sounds stressed. “You are more definitely not here. Everyone is asking me where you’ve got to. I’ve had to make up an emergency involving your cat and some volatile chemicals, but sooner or later someone’s going to remember you don’t have a cat.”

“Tell them it’s a robot cat,” Tony suggests with a shrug. “That sounds like me. I’m at Appleford House,” He continues, looking around. “You know, the address on the invitation. The ceremony was lovely - the ring bearer was a one-eyed dog - and the canapes are…” he pauses. “They’re mini cheeseburgers and tiny pizzas. I think I’m in heaven.” He snags another one and a glass of champagne. The champagne is… not as good as the canapes.

“Applefield House, Tony. Applefield House.” Rhodey sounds like the vein at his temple is probably throbbing again.

“Calm down, honeybear, it’s not good for your blood pressure to get so worked up.”

“I’m worked up because you promised me you’d be here, Tony. You were supposed to be my wingman. And you’re miles away at someone else’s wedding - Hi Chris, good to see you. Yeah, lovely ceremony,” Rhodey says with forced happiness to someone Tony can’t hear.

“This does explain why why I don’t recognise James and Clint,” Tony muses. “They seem very nice though. The vows were very touching. Apparently they met when Clint literally tripped and fell into James’ lap - head first.”

“That’s great Tones, but you’re supposed to be at Cara and Jason’s wedding, and now I’m here alone, my ex just told me how sorry she is things aren’t working out for me and Justin fucking Hammer has offered me three different jobs.” Rhodey hisses the last part and Tony bites his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

“I hope he’s offering to pay you as much as you’re worth,” he tells him.

“Tony, you couldn’t pay me what I’m worth,” Rhodey tells him. “And no, so far his offers have all been offensive - on multiple levels. But if you leave me here much longer, I might take him up on it just to shut him up.”

“Set off the fire alarm,” Tony says. Quick getaway.

“A) I’m not ruining Cara and Jason’s wedding. B) I don’t need a quick getaway because you’re going to leave whoever’s wedding you’re at and come here, like you promised.” Tony considers the offer. He could, theoretically do it, Jarvis is already bringing up possible routes for him. But… he snags what seems to be a tiny savoury doughnut from another canape tray.

“I’ve already missed the ceremony,” Tony tells him, “it would be rude just to arrive for dinner.”

“It’s ruder not to show up at all,” Rhodey growls down the phone at him. Tony might be intimidated if he didn’t know better.

“Appleford, Applefield,” Tony says. “It’s an easy mistake to make. And I bought Cara and Jason a present, didn’t I?” He pauses, trying to remember. “Didn’t I?”

“Yes, Tony. You bought them a set of fine china dinnerware. It was very tasteful. Pepper chose it herself.”

“Great, then I doubt they even care whether I’m there eating their overpriced salmon en croute. Tell them I was called away by an urgent business matter. Make it sound impressive.”

“I am not lying to the bride on her wedding day,” Rhodey hisses again.

“Why not? Everyone else is - I mean, they’re all telling her she doesn’t look like a meringue and that she and Jason are so perfect for each other and we all know that she’s cheating on him with her best man and he’s only marrying her because Mummy dearest will write him out of the inheritance if he doesn’t ‘settle down’.”

“Tony!” Rhodey says.

“You know I’m right.”

“You can’t just say that.”

“I think I just did,” Tony says. “Besides, I like this wedding. It’s charming - even if the champagne probably cost less than ten dollars a bottle.” He wrinkles his nose and sets the glass back down on the next tray to whisk past him.

“And you can’t just crash someone’s wedding. They’ll have a table plan. Where are you planning to sit? What if someone recognises you?”

“They haven’t so far,” Tony says. “Do you think I should be with the groom or the other groom? If someone asks.”

“I think you should be here with this bride and groom. Who actually invited you,” Rhodey grinds out through gritted teeth. Tony sighs. He’s going to be really mad over this one. He’ll have to buy him a whole case of that whiskey he likes - and maybe season tickets to the football, some really good seats.

“It was an honest mistake,” Tony protests. He must have said the wrong name when he told Jarvis to give him directions, and Jarvis chose today to be deliberately obtuse about the whole thing. Although, come to think of it, J had asked if he was sure that was the address he wanted. Huh. Maybe he should have listened.

Tony wanders around the corner of the wall and into another section of the gardens. This place is like a maze.

“Tony-” Rhodey starts again.

“Rhodey,” he replies. “You can do this. Deep breaths. Remember you’re a strong, independent lieutenant, and you don’t need no man.”

“You’re not coming, are you?”

“Good luck! Enjoy the speeches,” Tony says, and hangs up, looking up at the summer house he appears to have found, nestled in a secluded corner of the gardens.

“Excuse me,” a voice says, and he turns to see what is probably the highlight of this whole misadventure. The man’s tailcoat and vest lovingly hug broad shoulders, then taper in to a trim waist. Honestly, arms that broad should not be allowed out in public. It’s indecent.

“Your tailor is a lucky man,” Tony says, as his eyes drift up to the stranger’s face. He recognises tall, blond and buff from earlier. The best man, he thinks. He’d admired that figure from the other direction during the ceremony. And there had been a lot to admire.

“Uh…” Best Man says, blinking rapidly. “Look, I don’t know who you are, but I’m pretty sure Bucky and Clint don’t know you either, so unless you can show me your invitation, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Tony looks Best Man up and down and smiles.

“You show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” he says. The Best Man sighs, but actually reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket. Tony blinks, then stares as he actually pulls out an invitation and holds it out.

'Mr. James Barnes and Mr Clint Barton cordially request the presence of Steven Rogers + 1 at their wedding,' it reads.

“You’re actually carrying your invitation?” Tony asks. The man who must be Steven Rogers straightens up and… huh, he’s even taller when he’s trying to look intimidating, and when he crosses his arms over his chest it genuinely looks like he’s about to rip the seams out of that jacket.

“I-”

Whatever Steven Rogers is is cut off as an ominous rumble splits the air and the heavens open.

Tony’s soaked to the skin in seconds, visibility practically disappearing as what seems to be the entire contents of the atlantic ocean empties from the skies.

A large, warm hand touches his back and he’s being towed along to some destination or other. He goes easily, figuring that anywhere has to be better than waiting to drown out here.

The feeling of rain cuts off as they stumble up the steps into the summer house, though the sound of it doesn’t. Between the columns that surround them sheets of water are still hurtling to the ground, turning the world grey-white.

Tony looks at Rogers, who is just as wet as Tony is, although on him it does look more like the middle of some thirst-trap instagram post - or an advert for cologne, maybe. The suit pants are clinging to his thighs lovingly and Tony takes a second to appreciate the view. The man looks like a male model - until he shakes his head like a dog.

“Hey!” Tony protests, and Rogers winces guiltily.

“Sorry,” he says. “I was just…” Thunder rolls overhead again, louder and more insistent and Rogers looks down at the soaking mess of his outfit. “This was a rental.”

“I’ll pay for it,” Tony says. Rogers looks up at him, brow furrowed.

“That’s not- Why would you do that?” he asks.

“Honestly, the view is more than worth it,” he comments, smirking as Rogers blushes a brilliant red. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to step on the toes of your plus one.”

“Oh, I… I don’t have one,” Rogers says, pushing a hand through his sodden hair and grimacing as that just relocates more water down his back. “I was - I did have, but we didn’t make it.”

Tony tries to make a suitably sympathetic face, but it feels fake.

“Let’s face it, if she isn’t here to see you dressed like that-” he waves up and down at the whole picture of Rogers in his Best Man gear, “then her loss is absolutely my gain.” Rogers blushes again.

“Thanks, I think,” he says, then he looks Tony up and down.

“See something you like?” Tony asks, aware that his own outfit is clinging to him just as tightly. He grins a little wickedly.

“You’re going to catch your death if you stay like that,” Rogers says. “Are you staying at the hotel?”

“Would you like me to?” Tony asks, but receives a blank look for his troubles. “No, I haven’t got a room at the moment.”

“Do you have a change of clothes?”

“I wasn’t expecting to get caught in the next great flood, so I foolishly thought the one outfit would do,” he says.

“I’ve got a room,” Rogers says, and Tony likes where this is going. “I can probably find you something dry to wear.”

“I’m not sure your clothes are going to fit me,” Tony points out.

“We’ll work something out,” Rogers says, sounding like he’ll alter the clothes himself if he has to. It’s sweet, and Tony can’t quite keep from smiling at the stubborn note in his voice.

“Do you often offer your clothes to complete strangers?” he asks.

“Do you often turn up at weddings you weren’t invited to?” Rogers counters, and Tony grins.

“I thought I was invited,” Tony says. “Or rather, I thought it was a different wedding.”

“There aren’t any other weddings here today,” Rogers says, looking around. “It’s just Bucky and Clint.”

“It’s a long story,” Tony says, looking around. The rain is still hammering down outside their small shelter, miniature rivers are forming along the winding garden paths.

“Well, I’m not planning on going anywhere right now,” Rogers says, sitting down with a slight squelch on one of the low benches lining the back wall. “Unless you fancy a swim?”

“OK,” Tony says, settling himself down too. “So I have this friend - Rhodey…” And he explains the whole thing until Rogers is laughing and shaking his head and Tony feels a thrill of pleasure at having made the man smile.

The conversation flows easily, and they’ve hardly noticed that the rain has stopped before there’s a cough and they both look up to see a man standing on the steps, looking between them with amusement.

“Bucky!” Steve says, jumping to his feet.

“Hey punk. You are planning on giving a speech, right? Only everyone’s in the hall waiting for them to start.” Rogers’ eyes grow wide and he looks down at his watch before swearing.

“My fault, we got a little distracted,” Tony says smoothly, stepping forwards. “Congratulations,” he says, offering his hand. “The ceremony was lovely.” The groom smiles, seemingly almost in spite of himself.

“Thanks,” he says, shaking Tony’s hand, before the smile fades into a suspicious frown. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what the fuck are you doing at my wedding?” Tony laughs. “It’s just I don’t remember inviting you, and I think Clint would have mentioned it, so I gotta ask: do you have an invitation?”

“I’ve got his,” Steve says and Tony starts, turning around to watch as Steve pulls his invitation from his pocket again and holds it out.

“That’s your invitation, punk,” Bucky says.

“And it says plus one,” Steve says, his shoulders straightening. “He’s my plus one.”

Bucky looks between them, eyes narrowing for a second.

“Sure, great. You invited Tony Stark to my wedding. Of course you did.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Look, I’ll go hold off the dogs. You two do something to stop looking like drowned rats, okay? Or you’ll ruin the wedding video and I’ll never hear the end of it from my ma.”

“Thanks Buck,” Steve says, and herds Tony out of the summer house.

“And be quick!” Bucky calls after them. “No funny business, or I’m setting Natasha on you.”

They hurry along the path towards the hotel.

“So, you’re really Tony Stark?” Steve asks. “I mean- I thought maybe you just looked like him.”

“I do look like him,” Tony says. “Exactly like him. Because I am him - me.” He spreads his arms wide. “Tada! Honestly I’m a little hurt that you didn’t recognise me right away.”

“Because it makes so much sense to meet Tony Stark when he’s crashing my best friend’s wedding,” Steve says dryly.

“Look,” Tony says, serious for a moment. “If this is weird for you, I get it. I’m not - I’ll just head out and I’ll send Bucky and Clint a present or something, to pay them back for the canapes.” What do newly weds want? Tony wonders. A house? He can get them a house. Or a car, maybe?

“It’s not weird,” Steve says. Tony raises an eyebrow. “It’s a bit weird. But it’s not too weird. Unexpected, but… uh… not unwanted.” There’s a flush to his cheeks again and Tony grins.

“I’m your plus one, huh Steve?” Tony asks slyly. Steve shoots him a sharp look, but he relaxes after a second.

“I figured if you liked the canapes so much, it would be rude to deprive you of the three course meal.” The look Steve gives Tony is weighted and heavy and Tony congratulates himself on choosing to stay rather than giving in to Rhodey’s unreasonable demands.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

[marvelouspaxton]

In the recent years, we’ve seen an increase of representation in the media. This includes BIPOC, LGBTQIA+ community, disabled people, and women, plus other minority groups. Some representation is amazing and handled with the respect that the community deserves; the movie Black Panther was a huge step that did a lot of good (especially the younger generations). Some representation is poorly executed; the “girl power” from Endgame comes to mind. However, good representation is critical. It is a stepping stone to a better world where everyone is seen as an equal and is accepted.

Today, I specifically want to talk about the representation of BIPOC (specifically black people) and women due to Marvel’s recent actions. As a promotion for “What If…?”, the company’s social media team made the conscious decision to change the Captain America Twitter account so that it was Peggy Carter (an animated version, none the less) rather than Sam Wilson. Sam is the true Captain America per the MCU canon. Steve chose him to continue on the legacy and do right by the world. Peggy, on the other hand, has never been Captain America. She’s always been Captain Carter or Captain Britain and therefore isn’t even contextually relevant to the account.

Sam Wilson, as the Falcon, was one of the four “main” black superheroes in the MCU ( a) lets be real, everyone in Wakanda is pretty much a superhero. b) Nick Fury is a hero in his own right but he isn’t being considered here due to not being a traditional superhero.) Three of them, however, where the sidekicks / best friends of the better known white heroes, with the exception being T’Challa.

-  Rhodey was Tony’s right hand man.

-  Sam was Steve’s wingman.

-  Valkyrie was the badass who had to deal with Thor’s shit.

(Also, shout out to Monica from Wandavision. Not one of the main heroes yet but hopefully someday in the near future.) 

Having the shield be passed to Sam put a black man in one of the main superhero roles. It was an amazing step for inclusivity with the media representing the diversity of the world.

The representation of strong and smart women is also important, which I think was one of the deriving forces of Marvel’s decision. A women counterpart to Captain America would be very inspiring to the younger generation of girls. This is why I’m excited for Miss America to debut in “Dr. Strange: Into the Multiverse of Madness.”

However, taking away the representation of one group to represent another is not okay.

I fear that we’re reaching this era of film where a choice has to be made: who get’s good representation? We have shows like TFATWS where we see good representation for the black community. We have movies like Black Widow where women are represented well. But how much crossover was there? How much representation of women was in TFATWS? Sharon could have been considered a main character but honestly, all she did was serve as a plot point to keep the story moving. How much BIPOC representation was there in Black Widow? There were a few BIPOC characters but not many.

Black Panther is truly a prime example that there can be good representation of multiple groups. Sadly though, Black Panther is a rarity in the film industry.

Despite what’s being depicted by recent movies and shows, it’s possible for more than one group to be acknowledged and respectfully represented. If someone chooses one over another, is it really about equality and acceptance? Or is it a person trying to look like they’re striving for equality and acceptance? Checking boxes as they go through each group?

Marvel is a big name brand; it’s well known throughout the world. And though it was more than likely a small social media team that made the decision, the entire company is responsible for it. 

Marvel chose to replace Sam Wilson with Peggy Carter. In that moment, they chose a white woman over a black man. And the sad truth is, it wasn’t necessary. Marvel has multiple Twitter accounts, including “What If…?” and “Agent Carter”. They could have chosen to change one of those accounts rather than Captain America’s. And instead of choosing one over the other, they could have represented both. 

I don’t think they were meaning to be racist. However, intention doesn’t negate the affects of the action. It sure as hell does’t exempt anyone from criticism and/or consequences. The fact that they, whoever They may be, failed to see the problem before changing the account says a lot about them. After all, actions speak louder than words.

[stefciastark]

Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father ~ Webpril Day 9

A/N: Once more at 4a.m, here we are. Here's a short blurb of some BAMF protective Tony swooping in to the rescue, and Peter is probably really going to need a hug after all this is over.

~Read on AO3

~Read on FFN

Peter was in way over his head.

He was first drawn to the scene after the sounds of screams and screeching tires echoed up and down the streets of Queens. From what he could see from where he had been perched, the chaos extended across the river into the Upper East Side of Manhattan as well.

The Avengers were hard to coordinate lately. Since Tony and Steve’s relationship deteriorated into nothing over the Sokovia Accords, all of Earth’s crises were diverted to whoever was closest or didn’t hate each other at the time. This meant that Clint and Natasha, who were still on good terms despite being on opposite teams, worked together frequently sans the rest of the team. Steve preferred to work alone, and Thor and Bruce were currently unaccounted for on Earth. Peter knew there were others involved during the whole debacle, but his knowledge on their actions or whereabouts were unknown, and he didn’t particularly pay much attention to it.

He just missed the days of the ‘Stark Internship’.

Because then there was Tony. Tony worked a lot with Rhodey, and Peter tried to be understanding despite his disappointment that Rhodey was chosen more often more often as his wingman than Peter. He had quickly gone from being Tony’s prodigy “whiz kid” to being the forgotten third wheel.

Peter was beginning to think that maybe Tony’s initial offer to join the Avengers - and after that initial offer for one of the most incredible suits Peter had ever seen - wasn’t a ‘test’ after all. To put the cherry on the metaphorical cake, contact with Happy had gone from sporadic to non-existent, and he’d never felt more isolated. He couldn’t help but feel as if Tony and Happy had made a separate ‘group chat’ and just simply didn’t include him.

And that brought Peter back to the present, slinging through the alleys and main roads of Queens with a reckless sense of vigour that Peter was sure the Hulk would be proud of.

Whatever hell spawn had made its way to Earth was fast. Scarily fast. Peter knew he could outmanoeuvre most threats he faced as the Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman, but as Spiderman, the current Pseudo-Avenger, he didn’t particularly feel as if he were ready to take on massive city-levelling threats. Well, he might have been, but definitely not while operating solo.

The alien – Peter couldn’t believe that that thing was even realand that the word alien was even usable now in his daily language – looked had the appearance of a humanoid apple wearing a frog. He couldn’t really come up with any other description; what he could see of their faces was a rich darker shade of red, not dissimilar to a Juici brand apple. Where the ‘frog’ component came in was the slimy looking finish to their armour, or if it wasn’t armour it was at the very least incredibly dense and near impenetrable skin. That, and their cries to war sounded almost exactly like a deeper and much more intimidating croak of a Bull Frog. Thanks to biology, his first real encounter with aliens was now stained with that association.

Web grenades had become a new favourite of his as of the last twenty minutes. After some tweaking of settings and trial and error, he had managed to add ‘motion triggered’ and ‘taser’ to its list of associated commands and made it more of a web mine than a web grenade. The moment one of the ‘Apple Frogs’ sped past the sensors, off it would pop, and the threat would be both contained and neutralised.

It worked well up until the reinforcements came. He came to the realisation quickly that these were only the dispensable foot soldiers of the invading army. He came to the realisation when his height was no longer comparable to the ‘Apple Frogs’, and instead he felt dwarfed.

Peter’s brain finally caught up with reality, and he truly understood that what he was seeing was in fact actually happening and not some sort of VeggieTales fever dream.

Catching the corner of the roof of a tall block of apartments, his knees buckled on landing, his breath coming in harsh gasps. This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real. Peering down over the side of the rooftop, he watched as what looked like the Warlords of the army mindlessly murdered their own in their quest for destruction. He had to look away as he saw one of the foot soldiers get caught in the crossfire between a glowing orange – and obviously alien - beam of fire that shot out from one of the side streets and the axe of the hulking invader closest to his position.

He swallowed back the sick feeling in his stomach, the gruesome memory burned into his retinas. He’d never seen a body contort that way, and the smell of singed flesh was inescapable even from within the mask.

The trembling in his body gave him the impression that he were sitting in a massage chair, but the experience was anything but pleasant. He wondered faintly if he were having a panic attack, but everything from his mind to his body had gone numb. The Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman was not equipped to deal with world-ending catastrophes.

The high-pitched scream of a woman and the distressed cries of a child managed to delay the sheer terror that pumped its way through his blood and into his bones. Standing up on unsteady legs, he quickly found the source; there was the silhouette of a young family escaping for their lives, the woman holding her young child – no more than six months old - on one arm while she slung her shoulder under the arm of her husband, supporting his weight as they ran, his ankle obviously broken.

Without a second thought, Peter dove into the streets below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Red blips were popping up like razor burn on his HUD. Weaving through the streets of Manhattan, Tony felt himself unsurprised by the situation entirely. The first time aliens came to Earth – in New York no less – he had had a proper existential crisis, confronted with the reality that there was more out there. For it to happen a second time, however, was old news.

Tony had been notified by S.H.I.E.L.D that help was on the way, which meant that help would be there three hours after it was needed. That meant he had at least another forty-five minutes of mayhem left before the big guns were brought out, and he hoped against all hope that what was left of ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’ would tuck their disagreements into their back pockets for a moment and come help prevent New York City from being terraformed into a brightly exposed mesa.

As quickly as the red blips had come onto the screen, they were decreasing in numbers rapidly, located mainly over the river into Queens. The small red dots quickly became slightly less pin-sized and became slightly more concerning-sized. Accompanied with these new and larger threats was the sick feeling of dread that hit Tony suddenly like a truck. Increasing the output in his repulsors, he shot like a red and gold comet over the East River.

On the edge between where Dutch Kills ended and Astoria began, Tony found the source of his inexplicably nauseating dread.

Peter was dangling almost ten feet in the air, the alien resembling a mouldy radish holding his kid’s neck between its thumb and forefingers. The left leg on Peter’s suit was torn and bloody, and the way he struggled against that thing made Tony’s blood boil.

Tony didn’t have much of a plan other than to do as much maiming and murdering of this creature as possible. With the temporary advantage of not having been seen yet, he lined up the perfect angle and sent the Hale-Bopp Comet shooting out from the palms of the suit, slicing through the arm of Peter’s assailant. A roar of pain echoed down the avenue, parts of the pavement below the monstrosity turning almost black with blood that fell with the intensity of a waterfall.

Shielding Peter’s fall, he deposited the young hero behind him on the footpath out of immediate harm’s way. Tony gritted his teeth, veins burning with a ruthless fire that was begging to be released. It was a good thing his target was right in front of him.

And then Earth’s trespasser spoke, voice deep and coarse with a texture like gravel that was deeply unpleasant to listen to and made Tony’s skin crawl. “And who the hell are you?”

Tony began to close the distance between them, each step deliberate with one goal in mind; shoot to kill. Rolling his shoulders back, he looked the alien combatant straight in the eyes and prepared to engage.

“Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father. And nobody hurts my kid.”

A/N: IronDad to the rescue once again :) As for why Tony hasn't been in contact with Peter, I'm thinking it's likely that he wanted to give Peter the space to be the Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman he wanted to be. That, and becoming an Avenger and being closer to Tony would likely mean more exposure to risky situations and potentially near-death experiences, and Tony wants anything but that for his SpiderSon

[syifrae]

Through his stomach

@winteriron-week

Day 3 “But I did it” 

Read on AO3

Tony had a secret admirer. Not only that, but he had the world’s best secret admirer because this secret admirer was seducing him via food.

It had started a few months back when Tony had returned from a particularly stressful day at work, fielding calls and actually attending meetings (I mean, he had to go to some otherwise Pepper would literally strangle him). Tony felt tired and hungry and his feet hurt and his head ached and there was just a general aura of blegh all around him.

He had just about managed to drag himself through a shower and into some comfy pants but the thought of having to make food was just overwhelming. He lay in his bed for what felt like hours arguing with himself about the pros and cons of getting up to make something. Of course, he could just order food but for some preternatural reason any time anyone was ordering takeout in the tower Clint found out. This was not necessarily a bad thing, but on occasion, it could result in heavy debating over what to order and half your food disappearing into the apparently bottomless void that was the archer’s stomach.

Right now, though, Tony just really wasn’t in the mood for any kind of human interaction. He loved his teammates, don’t get him wrong, they had become his pseudo-family and he would, at any time, lay down his life for any one of them, but right at this second, he couldn’t stand the thought of having to interact with them.

He knew it was a cruel thought to have, but on the one hand, he’d have to pull up a front that he was fine -which would take a hell of a lot of effort given the facial expression and body language skills of some of his teammates- or let them see how…blegh he was feeling. Neither option seemed appealing to him. One would drain him of all remaining energy and the other would result in (well-intentioned) questions about his mental and emotional state, which again would drain him of all remaining energy.

Just as he was thinking he could risk calling in for pizza and hope against hope that the resident vent mole wouldn’t notice, he heard the ding of the elevator. Tony sighed. How on earth had Clint known he was thinking about pizza? That shit was unnatural and vaguely disturbing.

Only he didn’t hear footsteps, instead, there was the familiar whirr of gears and excitable beeps from his favourite (but don’t tell the others) bot. Sure enough, his bedroom door was pushed open and in trundled DUM-E, carefully carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of something on it.

The smell wafted through the room as Tony scooched up the bed to accept the tray off of the bot.

“Uhh, J?” he began hoping his AI would know what he meant. How is DUM-E up here? Why does he have a bowl of what looks like soup with a side of charcuterie and garlic bread with him? Did DUM-E make it himself? If so, how? Was it safe to eat?

Luckily for him, he had the best AI in the world (if he does say so himself-which he does) and JARVIS somehow knows all his questions and answered them so succinctly.

“Someone who wishes to remain anonymous has prepared a dinner for you and asked DUM-E to deliver it as you appeared fatigued. It is a courgette and almond soup with garlic ciabatta and sourdough toast, assorted cured meats and a mango chutney. It has been safely prepared and monitored on it’s journey, and does not contain motor oil.”

Tony breathed in deeply at the exquisite smell coming from his dinner tray. This was the perfect ending to a low-grade-shitty day. Once everything JARVIS had said was fully registered in his mind he quirked his head in question.

“Someone who wishes to remain anonymous?” he mused, “Well, I mean it’s gotta be someone living in the tower, right? That narrows it down. Plus, it’s gotta be someone who can cook,” That thought leads him to an ever-diminishing list of suspects and he rather thinks he knows who it is.

Tony ducks his head, a dusting of pink colouring his cheeks at the thought. He digs into his gifted meal with gusto, suddenly it seemed like the weight of the day had simply rolled off of him, and he had regained some of his earlier energy. If the person who he thought it was wanted to stay in the shadows for now who was he to put a stop to it? Especially when it might cost him more nights like these with a delivery of home-cooked ambrosia.

And so it had continued.

Not only when Tony had had a bad day either, but almost every other day it seemed he had some new delivery of food. Be it a sandwich left by his elbow to remind him to eat during his workshop binge, a cooked meal when he had had a long day, a tray of cookies, cakes or brownies left on the counter in his penthouse, a selection of petit fours delivered to his office as it seemed just-because. And sometimes they even came with little post-it notes!

They weren’t much to go on, just little ‘thinking of you’s or ‘hope you enjoy’s or ‘looked like you needed this doll’s. With each delivery, Tony’s crush deepened until he was halfway in love with his ‘secret’ admirer, despite the fact that they both seemed to reluctant to acknowledge any of it in public or around the team.

However, Tony was only so patient- ask Pepper or Rhodey, it was a miracle he’d lasted this long in the first place- and he was now determined to… Well not exactly confront, that felt too aggressive a word to use, he was going to gently but firmly (very firmly) encourage his admirer to go on a real date with him. It felt like it might be a bit premature to declare his undying love and devotion to a man he wasn’t technically in a relationship with after all.

This idea however all came clattering down around him when he entered the kitchen at around three am exactly three months and four-day post initial food delivery. He hadn’t even realised anyone else was awake, he hadn’t meant to even be on this floor but JARVIS was a tattletale and would ping an email to Pepper if the coffee machine in his penthouse or workshop was used between 11 pm and 6 am.

It was just dumb luck.

Or unluck as the case may be. Because there in the kitchen, pulling a tray of very familiar looking and smelling chocolate orange and hazelnut cookies out of the oven, was Steve.

It was the wrong one. All this time Tony had believed that Bucky had been his admirer, his personal chef and his culinary hero. All this while, and if he was honest with himself for a long time before that, Tony had been slowly but surely falling in love with their resident one-armed-wonder, and given that he was 87% sure that that was who was making the food he was fairly confident that feeling had been mutual. To learn that all this time it had been the wrong supersoldier was devastating.

Tony felt like the bottom had dropped out of him and his heart had dried up all at once. Not only was he wildly, catastrophically wrong about who had been delivering him all these preciously prepared and lovingly made gifts, it also meant that he was wrong about Bucky reciprocating his feelings.

Not only that, but he now had to confront the idea that it was Steve, not Bucky, who cared for him and how the fuck was he supposed to let Captain America down? I mean yeah they had moved past their first meeting hiccup, gotten over their brief subsequent future hate/resentment/hero worship issues and had become the closest of friends. Or at least, that’s what Tony had assumed. And while his inner sixteen-year-old was very much still attracted to the pinnacle of human perfection, Tony just could not see Steve in that way. Objectively yes, he was handsome and kind, down-to-earth, generous to a fault and stubborn as a mule when it suited him, but to Tony that was just Steve.

Steve was great! Steve was an amazing friend! He’d be happy to talk up Steve as a wingman and be confident that nothing he would say would be a lie because Steve was just that awesome a person! But he was not attracted to Steve himself!

Continuing his approach to the kitchen Tony tried to mentally prepare what he was going to say. How he was going to gently thank Steve for his gifts but let him know that any feelings he had were purely platonic. He was mentally debating if he could get away with not telling Steve that he didn’t know it was him who had been the one behind the culinary delights. On the one hand, it would make him look like an utter dick for letting it go on this long without letting Steve know it was a doomed seduction. On the other hand, it seemed cruel to tell Steve that he was hoping that the man’s best friend (practically his brother) would go out with him instead. Knowing Steve, he’d be extremely supportive and then not show anyone how he was devastated and dying inside.

“Hey Steve, I didn’t realise you were up so late,” He began, coward that he was trying to put off the uncomfortable conversation that was to come.

Steve looked up from the sheet pan where he had been carefully inspecting the cookies, a look of surprise on his face showing that he’d been so concentrated on his task he hadn’t picked up on Tony’s approach. And wow, seeing how dedicated he was just made Tony feel worse about the whole thing.

“Oh, hi Tony,” the other man glanced down spying the coffee cup clutched in the inventor’s hands, “You know that cheating by getting your coffee down here only means that Pepper will be madder when I’m the one to tell her.” He teased.

And god did Tony feel like the world’s biggest tool again, even when Steve was being mean it was just because he cared. Why did it have to be the wrong supersoldier? Why was his life like this?

“Listen, Steve.” Bracing himself for what was coming Tony stepped further into the light of the kitchen, making sure to give the other man 100% of his attention, it was the least he deserved. “I think we need to talk. I am so grateful, really I am, for all that you have done. They were some of the finest and most delicious things I’ve ever tasted in my life, and that comes from a guy who regularly eats at Five Michelin Star restaurants. The deliveries have been a source of joy and comfort, they have never failed to lift my spirits and I have adored each and every one. I want you to know that I will always care very deeply for you,”

Steve had an odd look on his face as Tony tried his best to be brave and plough on, it wasn’t fair to let this go on any longer and he had to get it all off his chest in one go or else he’d put his foot in it.

“I don’t know that I could ever see you in that way. What I feel for you is more of a platonic bond, and a lifelong one at that, but there could never really be any romantic feelings on my part.”

Steve looked downright confused and embarrassed now.

“Uh, Tony that’s great?” He replied, head tilted in that lost puppy look he sometimes had when he couldn’t quite get his head around something. “I’m not entirely sure where all of that came from but uh, I love you too buddy.” Steve patted Tony on the shoulder, looking for all the world like Tony had lost his mind.

“Look Steve, the secret is out alright, I know those are the cookies you made me the other week. I can recognise them well enough, they are just about the tastiest goddamn things I’ve ever put in my mouth and I’ve dreamt of them twice since. I know it’s you who’s been making me food, and I just wanted to let you down eas-”

“But I did it.”

The voice came from behind, cutting through Tony’s very messy 'it’s not you, it’s me' speech, nearly scaring the life out of him and causing Tony to jump about three feet in the air and clutch at his chest as though that would slow the rapid staccato of his heart.

“Wha?” was all that the dumbstruck genius could eke out.

“I’m the one who’s been making you food, doll. It was me, not Stevie here.” Bucky replied from where he was stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

“But- he… I just saw Steve taking the cookies out of the oven? He was even checking them over to make sure they were right?” Tony blurted, head pinging over to Steve as he heard the man huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, cause Buck here hadda go pee and the last time he put me in charge of getting his shit out the oven I got a whooping because smooshed a cookie with the glove. I ain’t making that mistake twice.”

It took Tony a second for everything to sink in. He had a moment post reshuffle in his brain of who had done what that he was mistaken after all. It wasn’t the wrong supersoldier.

“So, wait. Does that mean that you’ve been my secret admirer? Not Steve?”

“Yeah, doll,” Bucky said, shifting his weight and loosely crossing his arms in front of him as if to protect himself. “You mean all that you said about it being good?”

Tony had never heard, nor expected to hear such uncertainty from the other man. Carefully making his way over to Bucky and making sure to telegraph his movements as he did so, Tony lifted his hand to cup Bucky’s cheek.

“I meant every word. And I’m so glad it was you.”

The smile that Tony could feel growing on his own face was mirrored back to him. Flickering his gaze between Bucky’s ocean eyes and his lips he slowly tilted forward, allowing Bucky to decide if he wanted to close the gap or not.

Tony’s heartbeat fluttered as he felt the soft press of lips against his. Something in his chest settling at the feeling of how right this all was. Steve on the other hand was apparently feeling indignant.

“Hey, wait a minute! How come I’m not good enough but this lug is?”

[witchcraftforabuck]

It's a fab day to remember that Vision...

Has less personality than a toaster, which will at least startle you once in a while

Has the powers of a god, yet is so boring that even his own teammates forget he exists during fights he could end in a nanosecond

Took up a slot on Team Iron Man, while Falcon, Ant-Man, Scarlet Witch, and Bucky all.had to suck Stu's star spangled dick for the whole movie

Paralyzed Rhodey

Also probably triggered PTSD for Falcon, whose wingman died in a similar fashion as Rhodey's injury

Wears boots and a cape with a godamn unitard

That's colored like a discount citrus soda can

And Viz himself is the color and texture of a spleen

When the man you paralyzed doesn't notice you entering the room despite the above appearance, you have failed to be an interesting character

And THIS is the other half of Wanda's love story and TV series, while Bucky and Loki never exchange dialogue with her and are kept in completely separate shows

Said "we don't trade lives!" right after killing a dude to save a teammate's life

Said teammate was Steve Rogers; Viz didn't learn heroic hypocrisy from nowhere.

Wanted to abandon his post and run away with Wanda.....who, granted, was working for Stu...and as previously stated, the Iron Bunch don't exactly miss Vision when he's gone, so...........subtract two sins from the list I guess.

A telepath in love with a living Mind Stone could've been fascinating, but that aspect wasn't touched on

Instead we got lines like "I think we should've stayed in bed."

Looks at Bruce like he's stupid when Shuri asks "why didn't you just try this technobabble?" as if he himself doesn't have all the knowledge of Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Jarvis, and the Mind Stone

This tool is so boring HE forgets about his own stupid existence

Is here instead of Jarvis

[hailing-stars]

Alright. Self isolating for the next few weeks and I need you to recommend the absolute best Iron Dad fics in existence. Like... At least your top five! 😁

I hope you’re okay!! I hope if you’re feeling sick you start feeling better ASAP,  and I hope these fics can keep you company in the meantime. I basically went thru my bookmarks, mixed in some of the oldest ones I had with the newest!! 

Take care of yourself! And please enjoy!! 

On sleepless roads the sleepless go by @frostysunflowers

Peter can’t sleep and Tony tries to get to the bottom of it. 

graceless by @seek-rest

Drunk!Peter and fluff and it’s everythinngggg you need to forget what’s happening in the world at the moment 

from our family to yours by @ardenskyedarcy221b

Fluffy Stark family fic to ease your anxieties. 

Love Will Remind Us Who We Are by @blondsak

Post-Endgame, Tony lives, but struggles physically and emotionally with the stress the snap put on his body. I cried in the best way during this one 

jan’s a living nightmare by me

Tony takes up knitting as well as a few more new skills to compete with another parent after he joins Morgan’s school’s PTA. 

what’s chill, gramps by @ciaconnaa

Everyone thinks Tony’s is Morgan’s grandpa. Perfect and hilarious. 

the talk by @parkrstark

Drunk!Tony tries giving Peter the Talk.

Archetype by @the-reverse-mermaid

Tony finds Peter in a lab, kind of steals him, and Ned and MJ help. 

i, you are my sunshine by @peter-stank

Bio irondad, bio irondad, and my one of my favorites for that trope.

morgan stark’s murder class by @tempestaurora

Bucky teaches Morgan how to murder people what more could you possibly need 

Como se dice ‘I’m in Deep Sh*t? by @whumphoarder

Peter fakes being sick to avoid a presentation. Tony is the one who picks him up from school. I looveeeeee

xiv. valentine’s day by @icymapletree

More lovely bio dad with kid Peter! Tony helps him buy valentines for his class. 

Wingman by sahiya

Peter and Tony’s relationship through Rhodey’s POV, and Rhodey meeting Peter for the first time. 

[inukagome15]

for the prompt thingy: Bookstore!au, meet cute, “this can’t be real. i feel like i’m having a fever dream.” for tony/loki?

Only for you, anon, will I write a Tony/Loki “drabble.” Though it ended up being 95% the Tony&Rhodey show because they’re fun.

Want a prompt filled? Take a look at the list here and shoot me an ask!

**

“Rhodey, Rhodey. This can’t be real. I feel like I’m having a fever dream.”

There was an eye roll from Rhodey. Yes, that was definitely an eye roll. His best friend was betraying him.

“Rhodey,” Tony whined, hanging off him and trying not to make eyes at the man who was definitely a fever dream because no man that hot ever ended up in a bookstore and looking at... Was that advanced physics?

(Read more.)

Rhodey sighed. Then, because he was the best best friend in the world, he asked, “What is it, Tones?”

“I’m having a fever dream,” Tony said immediately, still hanging onto Rhodey because his best friend was not a fever dream.

“No, you’re not, because I’d be having one, too, and no fever dream would have you here.” Rhodey paused. “I take that back. A fever dream would absolutely have you in it. It’s just missing some ugly pink elephants.” He stared contemplatively at the far wall, which was also covered in bookshelves because this was a bookstore.

“You are awful,” Tony informed him. “Absolutely awful. Your best friend privileges have been revoked.”

“Really? That’s too bad. It means I can’t be your wingman anymore...”

“Wingman?” That was an awfully suspiciously specific word...

“You don’t want support to go talk to tall, dark, and handsome over there?” Rhodey asked, tone and expression neutral but eyes laughing. “I mean, he fits all three qualifiers, though that’s green and not black... Not sure how he’s pulling that off.”

“Quiet,” Tony hissed. “He’s looking over here!”

Fever Dream was indeed looking over here, and oh Lord, his eyes were the loveliest shade of green.

“Oh no,” Rhodey deadpanned, ignoring Tony’s woe, “he’s looking over here.”

Tony shook his arm. “Rhodey,” he hissed.

“I don’t know, man,” Rhodey said, somehow managing to be the personified version of “idk” to a tee. “You can either ogle him from over here or go and do some smooth talking the way only Tony Stark can.”

Tony made a face at him, only for Rhodey to make a face back, pry him off his arm, and then shove him in the direction of Fever Dream.

Tony dithered, slowly meandering over to Fever Dream, who had put down the advanced physics book in favor of something with even more physics. Damn it, could this man be anymore perfect?

It wasn’t possible, but then he was standing next to him and considering the merits of pulling out one of the other physics books on the shelf when a very smooth and silky voice in a British accent started speaking. “I was wondering when you would find your way here.”

Hand still outstretched, Tony’s head snapped to Fever Dream, noticing that the green eyes were focused on him. “You know how it is,” he was saying before his brain had fully caught up to his mouth. “Get lost on the road of life, or the bookstore in this case. It’s a real maze in here.”

He could hear Rhodey’s hand hitting his face from all the way over here.

Fever Dream’s lips curled into a smirk that seemed genuinely amused. “Of course. Where would we be without the signs guiding us to the appropriate sections?”

“In the kids’ section,” Tony answered immediately, because his brain was like that and still somewhere in the vicinity of Rhodey’s legs. “Most obvious section of the bookshop.”

Fever Dream hummed in response, expression considering in a manner that seemed entirely genuine and not mocking in the slightest. “That is certainly true.”

“We should team up,” Tony blurted out brainlessly, since his brain was now actually hiding in the kids’ section, “make sure neither of us gets lost in here or ends up in the kids’ section and never find our way out.”

Fever Dream nodded seriously, closing his advanced physics book and turning to Tony, stretching out a hand. “Well, then. Perhaps I should get to know my new partner. You may call me Loki.”

“Loki,” Tony managed, also managing to shake Fever Dream/Loki’s hand. “I’m Stark - Tony, I mean. Tony Stark.” His brain finally caught up, and he said firmly, “Tony.”

“Stark Tony,” Loki said in an utterly bland tone, “shall we brave the maze together?”

“That seems like a great idea,” Tony said, raising his voice because Rhodey’s sniggers several aisles down were audible (terrible wingman). “Let’s go check out the kids’ section; they might have some physics books more your speed.”

Loki’s smirk widened into a mischievous grin, and Tony had the sudden feeling once again that this was a fever dream.

Later, Rhodey told him that it absolutely wasn’t a fever dream, since only in reality would Tony get a guy’s number by insulting his intelligence.

[h2awrites]

Ironwidow, Moodboards and blurb, young ironwidow, nerd Tony, biker Nat, trans Tony&trans Nat, meet on Tinder.

-Too pretty for me

Fills square A1: "Dating App" of my @tonystarkbingo (3026) and square I5: "Trans Natasha" of my @natasharomanovbingo cards.

Hope you'll enjoy it!

________

Bored. Bored. 

Boring. 

Dumb. 

Daddy's girl. 

Cleans up good but his smile looks fake. 

Too much gel. 

Swipe, swipe, swipe. 

"This is the most awful app I've ever had." Tony whined.

Rhodey didn't even turn around from where he was sitting, perched in front of Tony on the very edge of their couch as he stared at the TV, controller in hand. "It's either that or I hook you up with one of my lab partners."

Tony's eyes widened and his hands tightened on his phone reflexively, "Nooooo, Rhodeybear, the last one was so dull."

He was a bit dramatic, so what?

"Then quit bitching and find your match." Rhodey's tone was no-nonsense, as firm as ever. Mean. 

"Fine." Tony huffed.

Pretty but too young. Should not wear this much foundation. Nice beard… oh sounds like a TERF, let's not. 

Tony sighed. And he sighed again. At this rhythm he wasn't going to get laid, he was going to get a thumb tendinitis. Plus, he felt awful swiping on all these people like a picture and three words could tell him what they were worth. 

"This is so dumb." He sighed again, but quickly turned his back on Rhodey and burrowed further into the couch so he wouldn't reiterate his threats. Ludmilla had been that dull. 

Tony saw a few more people who didn't catch his eye, a few more he would never text in a million years - too arrogant, or not nerdy enough or… or out of his league. Like that girl whose pictures he realized he'd been staring at for the past few minutes when Rhodey got up from the couch and he went to hide his phone before catching himself. 

"Damn…" Tony whispered to himself. 

"What?" Rhodey asked from their kitchenette. Damn that man too, what kind of hearing was that. 

Tony emerged from the collar of the leather jacket he hadn't bother to shed off since he'd gotten home. 

"She's too pretty," he said, after pondering for 0.2 seconds whether he wanted Rhodey's advice - a joke. 

Tony bit his lip while Rhodey took his phone from him and started sliding from picture to picture as well.

"Nice tattoos," he nodded. "Oh, wow, nice eyes too…"

And then he was silent, and Tony started fidgeting, wondering when his best friend would stop looking at the pictures and notice the few words under them. 

Biker, Tattoo Artist, Comics Nerd, T. 

It was to see once Rhodey did read them though, because his eyes rounded up at the same time as his lips distended in a grin, and Tony did his absolute best to not hide in his jacket again. 

"Tones." 

"I knooow,"

"Swipe and text her, she's perfect." 

It took Tony an additional fifteen minutes of sweating and doubting himself before he did exactly that, and sat on his hands waiting for her to answer, if she answered at all. 

Rhodey got the ice cream out to help him along. Never say he's not the best wingman there is. 

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

Soulmates - AUgust Day 3

Title: Soulmates

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: n/a

Relationship: Tony Stark/Sam Wilson

Link: Read on AO3

Summary:  What are soulmates? Soulmates are two (or more) people who join to make a whole.  Sam Wilson knows he has one, but he’s unsure if his soulmate is going to want to meet him. Written across his tricep are the words So, you’re Steve’s right hand man? Sam isn’t quite sure, but he senses suspicion in these words.

They popped up when he turned fifteen. The only Steve he knew was the school bully, and he really hoped he didn’t meet his soulmate in high school. After graduating high school and college, he joined the Air Force.

It’s funny how many Steves you meet in a lifetime. Steve his professor, Steve the nudist who staged protests on the quad, Steve his CO for three years, but the Steve he never expected to meet was Steve the Avenger.

Imagine his surprise when he found his soulmate...

++++++++++++

What are soulmates? Soulmates are two (or more) people who join to make a whole.  Sam Wilson knows he has one, but he’s unsure if his soulmate is going to want to meet him. Written across his tricep are the words So, you’re Steve’s right hand man? Sam isn’t quite sure, but he senses suspicion in these words.

 They popped up when he turned fifteen. The only Steve he knew was the school bully, and he really hoped he didn’t meet his soulmate in high school. After graduating high school and college, he joined the Air Force. The first and only person to whom he showed his soulmate words was Riley, his wingman in battle. He understood Sam asexuality more than anyone else Sam knew. When Sam lamented that even if he found his soulmate, they might not want him because he disliked sex, Riley told him that his soulmate would accept him; that’s what soulmates are for. If they didn’t, Riley surmised, they would only be hurting themselves and also not worth Sam’s time. Sam appreciates Riley’s aggressive love for him, but he still wonders how it would feel to have your soulmate reject you. He knows that plenty of people never find their soulmate, and some of them don’t even look for them, but he wants to find his.

It’s funny how many Steves you meet in a lifetime. Steve his professor, Steve the nudist who staged protests on the quad, Steve his CO for three years, but the Steve he never expected to meet was Steve the Avenger.

 Sam met Steve Rogers by chance when the super soldier trolled him while running around the reflection pool. He must have made a good impression because Cap came to visit him at the VA and then came to him for help to take down HYDRA. When Steve found out that the guy that he was fighting was his old World War II buddy, Sam didn’t even want to think about if it had been him and Riley. Naturally, he stepped up and helped in whatever way he could. Punching Nazis was actually a stress reliever.

 Now Steve is bringing him in to meet the team, which consists now of Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Thor, Bruce Banner, and Tony Stark. When Steve calls ahead, Tony tells him that Sam is always welcome at the Tower and there is a floor with his name on it. It’s been a while since Sam has had a vacation; thus, he agrees to stay for a week or two. He meets everyone but Thor, who is off-world, and Tony within the first couple of days. He even meets Colonel Rhodes, and he’ll admit, he freaked out a little. Rhodes has been his hero for a while now. Everyone is nice enough, and he quickly falls into a comfortable camaraderie with the Tower occupants.

 One morning Sam is taking care of his breakfast dishes when who should walk in but a well-dressed Tony Stark. “Good morning everyone!” He greets the kitchen.

 “Board meeting?” Clint asks.

Tony scoffs. “I can wear suits for other reasons than board meetings.”

 “But?” Romanoff smirks.

“Yeah, yeah, Pep’s making me go.” Tony concedes. He spins unexpectedly and sees Sam. “So, you’re Steve’s right-hand man?”

 Sam can feel the words on his arm tingle, and he stares dumbly at Tony Stark. Playboy, sex god, Tony Stark. He thinks. Oh shit. This isn’t going to end well for me, is it? “No, no, I can’t deal with this right now,” He says and practically runs out of the kitchen.

 +++++++

“No, no I can’t deal with this right now.” Wilson says, and Tony’s heart drops as he feels the words wrapped around his ankle tickle his skin.

 When the words had appeared sometime in his fifteenth year alive, he had been lying across the couch with his feet on Rhodey’s chest. Seventeen-year-old Rhodey claims he saw the words being scrawled around his ankle. Tony excitedly asked him what the words said, but he lost his enthusiasm for soulmates once Rhodey said the words “No, no I can’t deal with this right now” in a very regretful tone.

 When Rhodey saw Tony close off, he tries to reassure him. “Hey Tones, you don’t know what’s happening here. What if they have like fifty dogs that they have to take care of at that time? What if they say it first because you’re about to rant to them, and they have to leave in like five minutes? It doesn’t mean it’s bad. It could just be a time thing.”

 “Yea, sure whatever. It doesn’t matter. Soulmates are stupid anyways,” Tony mutters, but he clings to that hope that it’s a timing thing. Even when Howard finds out what his words are and laughs at him, telling him he’s so messed up and worthless that even his soulmate won’t want him. Even when he’s sitting in a cave, ashamed that he never cared enough about his company to prevent anyone from double-dealing. Even when he wakes up in the middle of the night, riddled with nightmares. Even when Pepper breaks up with him, telling him they just won’t work and that she found her soulmate. (He agrees with that one – she deserves someone much better than him).

 Tony has clung to that hope for so long that it takes a lot of will-power to hide his devastation. As Wilson runs out, he shrugs and says, “Okayyyy… not sure what that was about.” He heads straight to the elevator and puts on his sunglasses even though the only thing he really wants to do is break down and cry. Howard was right, once again. Even his soulmate doesn’t want him.

 He focuses on the numbers the whole drive to SI headquarters. He needs something to distract him. Tony also pays attention throughout the meeting, no matter how boring and tedious the topics. Pepper shoots him a few surprised looks but doesn’t question him. He stays after the meeting to chat with a few board members until he knows he just needs to talk with Pepper. She knows him the best other than Rhodey, and Tony just can’t be at the Tower right now.

 Walking into her office, he stops when he realizes she is eating lunch with her soulmate. They both look up as he enters, and he raises his hands. “Hey sorry. I’ll just… go.”

 “Tony, wait.” Pepper must have seen something in Tony’s body language because she calls after him.

 He turns back to hear Gen, Pepper’s soulmate, ask, “Seriously?”

 “Look, I’m sorry. I forgot what time it was. I don’t want to interrupt.”

 “I was just going to say that if you wanted to stick around HQ for another twenty minutes or so, I’ll be available.” Pepper gestures to him.

 “Right. Ok. I will, thanks.”

 Tony wanders down to the R&D department. Wandering through and talking to the workers, he is able to get his mind off of the whole “soulmate” thing. He has a genius plan. He’ll just work in his lab until the pain goes away!

 A half hour later, Tony finds his way back to Pepper’s office. Sitting across the desk from her, he says conversationally, “So, I met my soulmate today.”

 “And why are you saying it like it’s a bad thing?” Pepper steeples her fingers.

“You know my words, Pep!” Tony cries. “He said the words and booked it. How is that ever a good thing?”

 “Well, did he have somewhere to be?”

 “No, he was washing dishes and talking with the team. He wasn’t in any hurry until after he talked to me.”

 Reaching out and squeezing Tony’s hand, Pepper says, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

 “I just want to hide away from the Tower for a while. Can I stay in here?”

 “Sure, but you have to do this paperwork.” She hands him a stack.

 Pepper seems surprised when Tony gladly takes it. “I’ll make sure I read every word before I sign.” He gives her a lopsided smile.

 Tony works in Pepper’s office until she is ready to leave at 7. “I’m sorry, Tony, but we have to go. I’m supposed to meet Gen soon. Good luck.” She gives him a hug.

 “Thanks Pep. Don’t make me cry,” Tony says wetly. “I shouldn’t cry. It’s stupid.”

 “You’re allowed to cry, Tony. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.”

 Tony just shakes his head, wipes his eyes, puts on his shades, relaxes his body, and walks out with Pepper, seemingly unaffected. Walking her to her car, he helps her in and tells Happy. “Take her home Happy. See you later.”

 As soon as he gets home, Tony goes straight to his lab. “Blackout mode except for Rhodey and Pepper. Steve can enter on Avengers emergencies only.” He tells JARVIS.

 He opens up a saved project and begins working. It’s four am before he crashes on the couch to sleep until nightmares take that away from him. Tony wakes up at 7am, grabs some coffee, and keeps working. Rhodey comes down a little later with a plate of bacon and eggs.

 “Hey Tones. Why is JARVIS telling me that you’ve been hiding out down here all night?”

 “I was busy. I slept a little.” Tony comments absent-mindedly.

 Rhodey sits down where Tony can see him. “Is this about Wilson?”

 “Why…” Tony’s voice cracks. He clears his throat and starts again. “Why did you have to bring it up? Why can’t we just leave it and never deal with it?”

 “Because it will fester until it kills you. Either you can talk to me, or you can call up your therapist, I don’t care. But you need to talk about it, Tones.”

 “Why? Why do I need to reiterate the fact that I’m so worthless and messed up that not even my soulmate wants me?” Tony shouts. “The one person in the world who is supposed to love me unconditionally can’t even spend a few minutes with me without running away! Is that what you want me to say, Rhodey, is it?” His breathing is getting ragged, and hot tears fill his eyes.

 Rhodey wraps him up in a hug. “You’re not worthless. If he doesn’t love you, that’s his problem. To be honest, I was very shocked at that reaction. He seemed like a nice guy.”

 “You’re allowed to like him, too.” Tony tells him miserably. “You can have friends who don’t like me.”

 “If someone won’t give their soulmate the time of day, they aren’t that great in my book.” Rhodey pats Tony’s back as they are still embracing. “Listen, take the time you need in here, but don’t wear yourself out. There are people who love you, Tony, remember that. Also, eat your breakfast. I have training but I’ll be back.”

 Tony sits down to eat his breakfast and waves goodbye to Rhodey. He loves his Platypus – he’s the real deal. He can count on Rhodey to never leave. He starts up his work again in much better spirits.

 ++++++ Sam has not been doing good. He’s still reeling from the fact that Tony Stark is his soulmate. His. Soulmate. How… what… he can’t even form a coherent thought. He feels like an ass, running away like he did. Tony probably thinks he rejected him.

 Once I get my head wrapped around it, I’ll talk to him. Sam thinks. Geez, I really need to wrap my head around it.

 “Hey Sam, you ok?” Steve knocks on his door.

 Sam jumps off his bed and walks to the door. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just needed some time.”

 “Why? Is everything ok with you and Tony? What happened?”

 “We’re, ah, soulmates.” Sam puts his hands in his pockets.

Steve lights up like a gigawatt bulb. “That’s amazing!”

 “Yeah, except when I found out, I ran out of the kitchen. And I don’t think the words I said were great either. Shit I need to go talk to him. Hey, JARVIS, can you tell me where Tony is?” Sam looks up at the ceiling.

 “I am afraid I cannot tell you where he is, but I would like to say Sir is usually in one of four spots.” JARVIS replies.

 “He’s probably in his lab. Floor 53.” Steve tells him. “I’ll let you go.”

 Sam races to the elevator and asks JARVIS to take him to floor 53. He requests access to the lab, and JARVIS tells him he cannot let him in. “Can you pass a message to Tony?” JARVIS says he can. “Thank you, JARVIS. Hey, Tony, I’m sorry for running out of the kitchen yesterday. I definitely did not react the right way, and I am truly sorry for that. Do you think we could talk at some point? I have some personal stuff I’d like to share, and then you can decide if you want to be with me or not. I know it could be a deal breaker.” Sam waits for JARVIS’s reply. Instead the lab doors open, and Tony is standing at a worktable, waiting for him to come in.

 “What do you want to say?” He asks rather shortly.

 “So, I… I’m asexual. I won’t have sex with anyone because I don’t like it. I like holding hands and cuddling and even kissing, but I don’t like sex.” Sam sees Tony open his mouth to say something, and he holds up his index finger. “Just hear me out, ok? I know I handled it terribly but imagine being afraid your soulmate will reject you because you won’t have sex with them. And then I find that my soulmate is an ex-playboy who is like a sex god. It caught me by surprise and then I just panicked. I’m sorry.” When Tony looks at him pointedly to see if he has anything further to say, Sam gestures to him. “Your turn.”

 “So, my words are ‘no, no, I can’t deal with this right now.’” Tony wiggles his fingers as quotes. “My whole life I was afraid that my soulmate would take one look at me and just bail, which you kind of did. But now that we’ve both explained why we reacted the way we did, can we just start over? Hi, I’m Tony, I’m your soulmate. I don’t care that you’re asexual. I mainly had so much sex with people because that was the only intimacy I knew for a long time. Well, except for Rhodey. Sorry, I’m rambling.” He stops and takes a deep breath. “Your turn.”

 “Hi, Tony. I’m Sam, your soulmate. I don’t know you all that well, but I would like to. Is that acceptable to you?”

 Tony nods. “Definitely acceptable. Can I ask you one question? I don’t know how insensitive it will sound. Do you have, like, set boundaries for PDA? I just don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable.”

 “Well, it never hurts to ask if you can touch me. I do like to cuddle up on a couch or in bed. I love hugs. Kisses are acceptable unless you like to lick the inside of my throat. Holding hands is great. Simple touches are fine, too. As long as it’s not sexual, I’m probably ok with it. I will let you know if I’m uncomfortable.”

 “Sounds good. Would you like to get dinner tonight, soulmate?”

 Sam grins. “I would love to, soulmate.”

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Cheesy One Liners

For the prompt:  Imagine Tony walking up to Bucky in a bar and saying the most cheesy pick-up line ever in a jokingly flirty way, and Bucky likes it (and him) and flirts back seriously. (no powers au)

As Tony walked back around the bar from the bathroom, his eyes caught on a man sitting by himself, staring down at his glass like he was looking for answers in the alcohol. He looked melancholy, like he had just heard some bad news or was gearing himself up to give some. Tony caught Rhodey’s eyes from across the bar, held up a finger, and mouthed one minute. He slid into the seat next to the man and said, “Hey there, handsome. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

The man looked up, surprised, and Tony felt his heart do a little flip, a little oh hey, as the man’s blue-grey eyes warmed and his lips quirked. “Well, if you feel like you need to make another lap, I’d hate to see you go, but,” the man bit his lip and looked Tony up and down, “I’d love to watch you leave.”

Tony laughed, delighted.  He’d hoped to at least get the man to crack a smile, but he never expected him to play along. “Well, in that case, I’ll be right back,” he said with a wink. He slid off the barstool and crossed the bar to where Rhodey was waiting in a booth for him, feeling the heat of the man’s eyes on him the whole way. He leaned over the table both so that Rhodey could hear him over the loud music but also to make sure he gave the man a good view. “Rhodey, platypus, darling, can I have fifteen minutes to talk to the dreamboat at the bar? I think I really like this one.”

“Seriously? You said like, one thing to him.” Rhodey leaned around Tony to get a look at the guy and raised his eyebrows. “Alright, yeah, I get it. Fine. You have fifteen minutes and if you’re not back here I’m going to join you and start telling him embarrassing stories about you from college. I will be the opposite of a wingman, I will be an anchor man, making sure you crash and burn. I did not meet you here at this ridiculous bar to drink by myself.”

“Excuse you, it’s not ridiculous, it’s trendy.” But it was a ridiculous bar, some kind of silly gimmicky nonsense that would be popular for a month then they’d shut down, renovate, and reopen under a new name. This one seemed like it was an homage to the Great Gatsby or something; one of the bartenders was wearing a flapper dress and the decorator had put up Art Deco accent pieces like they’d been working on commission. Tony went back to the bar and sat back down. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I needed to ask my friend if I left my heart at the table, because when I sat down next to you I realized I had lost it.”

That surprised a laugh out of the man, and Tony had to grin because the man had a beautiful smile. Well, he looked like he had a beautiful everything, from the strong, long fingers cradling his glass to the shoulders stretching the material of his button down shirt. The man turned in his seat so he could face Tony and said, “What’s your name, beautiful? I need to know what my next of kin should say when the paramedics ask for cause of death.”

“Tony,” he said, holding out his hand.

Instead of shaking it, the man took it and pressed a kiss to Tony’s knuckles. “Please, call me James.”

Tony felt a thrill zip in his veins at the contact, and he knew he was staring at James’ mouth but he couldn’t help it. “Tell me, James, are you professionally sexy, or is it just a hobby? Because unless you have a permit, I might need to speak to the owner of this bar about you exceeding the recommended safety level of hotness.”

James smirked, his eyes alight with mischief, his earlier melancholy chased away. “Before you went to go talk to your friend, I was going to ask you if you were lost. We’re a little far from heaven to have an angel like you walking around and breaking peoples’ hearts.”

“Ooh, you’re good,” Tony breathed. James was still holding his hand, his thumb running over Tony’s knuckles, an absent gesture that was having the effect of focusing Tony’s attention completely on that single point of contact. “Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”

“Only if you let me buy you a drink. Suddenly I’m feeling terribly thirsty and would you look at that,” James drained the rest of his glass and held it up, all without letting go of Tony’s hand, “my drink is empty.”

Tony made a show of thinking about it; he had a mostly full glass of beer at the table. But on the far side of the bar there was a dance floor, and the DJ was playing something low and plaintive with a lot of saxophone. “How about a dance instead?”

“My pleasure,” James said, pulling out his wallet and tucking some money under his empty glass. Sliding off the stool, he squeezed Tony’s hand as he stood as well. “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

“Of course,” Tony said as James pulled him to the dance floor. “But as long as I’m holding you, I won’t hold a grudge.”

“Just as long as you don’t leave yet,” James said, using his grip on Tony’s hand to spin him once before pulling him in close. “I don’t want to get kicked out of Paradise before I have a chance to hold you in my arms,” he added, and despite the smile that hadn’t left his face since Tony sat down, James sounded completely serious.

Tony took a deep, shivery breath when he felt James’ chest brush his. “I like your shirt,” Tony said, running his hands up James’ arms before looping them around his neck. “What’s it made of? Boyfriend material?”

“For you, it could be.” James put his hands on Tony’s waist and pulled him close as they swayed together to the beat. Tony got goosebumps as his shirt rode up and he felt James’ hands brush his bare skin, and for a hot, breathless moment his stomach swooped and he wished James would keep going, would slide his hands inside Tony’s shirt and rest them against his back, stroke along the divot of his spine. He was so surprised by the intensity of the desire that he lost the thread of conversation. Thankfully, James seemed content to sway to the music, resting his cheek against Tony’s temple.

“Your friend is looking at us and tapping his watch,” James murmured as the first song ended and the DJ seamlessly switched to another one, this one with plaintive violins and a piano. “Does that mean we are out of time?”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed. He turned his head to rest his forehead against James’ neck for a moment before taking a step back. “I’m turning back into a pumpkin.” They dropped their hands and as they made their way to the edge of the dance floor, Tony made a show of checking his pockets. “Could you call my phone for me?” he asked, batting his eyes at James. “I can’t seem to find it.”

“Of course, darling.” Tony gave him his number and watched as James saved it under Tony and put a heart eyes emoji next to it.

As he dialed Tony’s number, Tony’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “Oh, I guess I had it the whole time. It must be the way you make the rest of the world disappear that made me forget.”

James’ hand came up to cup Tony’s jaw, thumb resting on Tony’s chin. “Can I kiss you?”

Tony waited a beat for the punchline, but when James waited, eyes steady on his, Tony realized he was serious. Heart pounding, he said, “Please,” and held his breath when James dipped his head. He pressed a kiss to the corner of Tony’s mouth, then his top lip, before tilting his head and covering Tony’s mouth with his own.

“Wow, you really are good,” Tony managed. He didn’t realize he had closed his eyes until he opened them as James pulled away.

“Oh, I don’t know about all that, but I’ll definitely do my best for you.” James ran his thumb over Tony’s bottom lip, then kissed him again before his hand fell away. James walked him back to Rhodey’s table, hand at the small of his back, and Tony felt himself blushing furiously. “Call me?”

“I will,” Tony promised, and he’d never meant anything more in his entire life. James offered him one more smile before he left, and Tony watched him leave the bar before sitting down heavily in the chair, air leaving him with a whoosh. “Holy shit.”

Rhodey raised his eyebrows. “You look like you got hit by a bus.”

“A devastatingly sexy, funny, sweet bus.” He pulled out his phone and stared at the number in his missed calls list. “How soon is too soon to text someone for a date?”

                                                              ***

A few weeks later, James was thrusting lazily against Tony, spooned up behind him in a tangle of sheets, setting a deep, steady rhythm that was slowly driving Tony out of his mind. James kissed the back of his neck and ran a hand up Tony’s side to press a thumb under his shoulder blade. “What happened to your wings, angel? Did you lose them when you fell from heaven?”

“I met a silver-tongued devil that tempted me to sin,” Tony said with a smile, turning so he could capture James’ mouth with a kiss.

“Lucky devil,” James murmured against his lips.

[professionallyprocrastinating]

Spitefic (after a long break)

So, I don’t normally write Iron Man specific spitefics, but this one has bugged me for a long time. Another post about how not noticing Stark Weapons on the black market wasn’t Tony’s fault prompted me to put them together. Takes place some time between Iron Man 1 and 2 TW: Homophobia, Transphobia, hints of racism.

***

Tony left a devastated Rhodey in Pepper’s capable hands - she’d handled him as an incoherent mess enough times to get the details out of the good Colonel - and walked down to the lab, where he kept the hangover cures and the phone with the direct numbers of several people too high up to be bothered with calls from just anyone.

Rhodey had called Happy a few hours ago, asking for a ride. Happy Hogan, finding his boss’s bestie drunker than even Tony managed to get on the regular (a few epic benders nonwithstanding), panicked and took him back to Stark Tower, taking the direct elevator to Tony’s penthouse. Rhodey had been barely able to stand under his own power, and calling his speech ‘slurred’ would be a compliment to the unintelligible rambling pouring out of him like water from a fountain. It would be like comparing a fight between alley cats to the Gettysburg Address, even, and Tony liked his friend too much to do that to him.

The most Rhodey’ s friends had managed to extract was something about how his life was over and assholes who couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

Rhodey had been deployed on a flyover mission for the past week, perhaps something had happened there? The Military as a whole might be pissed at Tony Stark for halting his weapons division, but enough of them owed him favours that they should give him at least an outline of an answer. The General who picked up didn’t sound happy to hear from him, but agreed to send him a copy of the report.

Bringing his StarkPad with him, Tony headed back upstairs, skimming through the report as he went.

The mission itself had been routine, but there was a note about Colonel James Rhodes being called in for Disciplinary Action as soon as he landed, leaving the junior pilot who had been his wingman to deal with the report and debrief. That, from what little Tony understood of military protocol, was unusual in the extreme.

He emerged from the elevator to find Pepper and Happy talking in soft voices, concern clear on their faces and Rhodey nowhere to be seen. “Where did he go?”

Pepper sighed, “I put him in one of the guestrooms to sleep it off. He’s not in a good shape, in any respect.”

Tony nodded, relaxing a little. “Thanks. Which one, I brought aspirin and a hangover remedy.”

The look his girlfriend and driver exchanged didn’t fill him with confidence. Pepper took both from his hands. “Happy, will you take those in? I’ll explain matters here.”

Something a lot like relief flashed across Happy’s face, which didn’t make Tony any less suspicious. Or apprehensive, when he noticed the chill in Pepper’s eyes that only appeared when he really screwed up. Pepper folded her arms and aimed the full force of her disappointed frown at Tony.

He squirmed, trying to deflect. “All the General told me was that there was a Diciplinary meeting once he got back from the mission he was on.”

Pepper inclined her head, the frown not wavering an inch. “Colonel Rhodes received a dishonourable discharge, for conduct unbecoming and against the regulations of the US Military.”

Rhodey, discharged for dishonourable conduct?

How? Why? Rhodey was one of the most honourable and rule-abiding people that Tony knew! It made him a terrible spokesperson, since it was way too obvious when he was shading the truth, but an excellent leader. Why would anyone think that kicking him out was a good idea.

Tony spun on his heel and stalked back to his lab, ready to shout at whoever he had to in order to get this fixed. 

This time, the General was far less helpful. “I’m sorry, Mr Stark, there’s nothing we can do. He came out as having had homosexual relations, in front of a dozen personnel. Even if he did so with your support, we can’t hush that up now.”

With Tony’s support? A dozen personnel? Rhodey was tight-lipped about his personal life at the best of times...

Oh.

Oh, shit!

Tony cleared his throat, sure that he could still pull a few strings. “Is this about what I said about Spring Break? That was just me trying to make Rhodey squirm and get the others to lighten up.”

He could practically hear the General shrug, and wondered if the slimy note in his voice was just the landline connection. “The only loophole would be if discharging him was against the best interest of the armed forces. While you were so closely connected with the Military, having your friend in charge of your itinerary was beneficial. Now that you’ve announced your decision to no longer sell weapons, however...”

The implications were clear, and Tony froze in place. He had finally had it rubbed in his face that selling deadly missiles to the highest bidder was a bad idea that got people killed. Until he discovered whether Stayne had been working alone in his blackmarket dealings, he couldn’t risk adding more blood to the flood that already stained his hands.

The General hung up before Tony collected himself enough to reply, and Happy stuck his head in. “Hey, Boss, there’s a lady here asking for Rhodey.”

Oh, what now? Tony went down to meet the mystery woman, who turned out to be a tall blonde with a faint accent and rather more muscles than Tony was used to seeing on a woman. The angry, narrow-eyed glare that she aimed at him was less unfamiliar, though Tony didn’.t remember sleeping with this one.

The elevator dinged again before the newly-minted Iron Man could put his foot in his mouth, and they both turned to see Rhodey emerge, looking only marginally better than when he arrived. The woman pushed past Tony and ran to his side, slinging Rhodey’s arm over her shoulder, supporting him and earning the faintest of smiles. “Thanks, babe.”

The woman pressed a light kiss against his cheek. “I have a few friends who let me know whenever someone falls victim to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Figured it was the least I can do, since it’s indirectly my fault.”

The pieces clicked together. 

Tony had left out most of the details about that particular spring break, like how Ivan was actually Ivana, who moonlighted as an escort to pay off her Top Surgery medical bills and save for Transition. She’d thrown her drink in Tony’s face when he misgendered her one too many times, which resulted in her date of the night starting a brawl (Tony still wasn’t sure if he’d been actually unaware or just pretending, and they’d both vanished by the time Tony returned from changing his shirt. Rhodey hadn’t mentioned Ivan/Ivana again, and Tony assumed that it had been a one night stand, or a drunken make-out, or something.

Apparently, Rhodey had just applied his legendary discretion to his own relationship, and had very specifically not told Tony. In hindsight, of course, Tony couldn’t blame him, especially not now.

Rhodey paused for a moment on his way out. “Tony, I know what High Command asked for in exchange for not discharging me, and I know that you make bad decisions when you feel guilty. This time, don’t. I won’t be responsible for more deaths than I have to be.”

Ivana squeezed the arm that she had wrapped around Rhodey’s waist. “There’s a network, matching discharged vets with more open-minded businesses. It’ll be ok.”

Maybe Rhodey would be ok, but it wouldn’t be any thanks to Tony. 

Perhaps it was time to take Pepper’s advice and talk to a behaviour therapist, instead of blurting out whatever glib witticism popped into his head.

[tonystanktbh]

Do you know what scene in CW made me go “fuck you, Tony” (besides the entire movie)? When he shot Sam, a trained medic, for something Sam didn’t even do. As soon as he shot Sam, Tony basically became irredeemable in my eyes. (Only made worse by what happened in Siberia to Bucky and Steve)

I think that moment showed once again how selfish Tony could be. Instead of thinking about Rhodey, Tony makes it about himself and takes it out on Sam. The same Sam Wilson who could have provided immediate aid to Rhodey considering his background in pararescue. The same Sam Wilson who knows what it feels like to have his wingman (Riley) shot down.

Out of curiosity I did a search outside of this site and found a post and thread so ridiculous that I had to bring a few sentences from it. Here is one that described what Tony did to Sam:

“The blast was small, directed at his chest, and is probably the equivalent of what’s meant to be an angry shove.”

And another:

“I've always thought Tony shoots Falcon because of anger the whole “this was meant for you" mentality.”

The excuses explanations for Tony’s actions aren’t helping his case. What Tony did in Civil War, physically lashing out at Sam when his own actions more or less were the cause, is true to his character. The same happens in Endgame when he verbally lashes out at Steve after Tony’s actions once again are the cause. I guess he’s consistent.

[whumphoarder]

Any Tony taking care of sick Peter recs? The softer, the better :)

I mean, I’ve written quite a few myself (it’s like my fave trope ever)

Dad Level: 3000 - Peter comes down with the flu while visiting the Stark family (and Happy) at the lake house during his spring break from MIT. Thankfully, Tony has been spending the last five years honing his Dad Skills™. He’s got this.

Give the Kid an Oscar - Poor kid—he looks utterly miserable. And if anyone should know how much migraines suck, it’s Tony.

Bedridden Spider - Peter is bedbound with pneumonia 

Viral Wisdom - When Peter’s dentist decides the kid’s impacted wisdom teeth need to go, Tony offers to have the surgery done at the compound. Honestly, Peter is looking forward to it. After all, he’s seen the viral videos—he’s pretty sure he knows what to expect. What could possibly go wrong?

But for recs I’ve got:

my hands they shake my head it spins by @madasthesea - Sleeping on the bathroom floor: two nights in the Parker-Stark household.

Spiderpox by @xxx-cat-xxx - Peter gets Chickenpox while staying with the Barton Fam. Tony and Clint test their parenting skills.

If you’re still bleeding by @xxx-cat-xxx - Peter is sick and gets dragged down emotionally by a movie. Tony tries to figure out how to talk to him about being okay with his feelings despite not being okay with his own.

flushed away by @sumpetals - Peter gets food poisoning and Tony takes care of him

Tensile Strength by sahiya - (Peter (and later, Tony) getting sick with the flu at the compound with lots of caretaking)

Wingman by sahiya - Holy shit, Rhodey thought. Tony’s a dad.

Under the Table and Dreaming by @builder051 - (Tony caring for a very ill, puking Peter)

This B.S. Better Be Worth It [chap 3] by @losingmymindtonight - Peter gets the flu while at college. Tony is functioning as an adjunct professor though, so he’s all over it.

Can’t I Adore You? by @loubuttons - (Peter sick & vomiting with a lot of comfort and a very in character Tony)

Wrap Me Up And Hold Me Close by @spider-man-stan - Feverish Peter comes up with some ~creative~ coping mechanisms, the likes of which Tony Stark hasn’t seen before.

Sick Days by @sickficlurker - (a whole collection of awesome sickfic prompt fills)

round two by @caraminha - (Peter going through the spider mutation process again following the snap, but this time with Tony as a caregiver)

When You Give a Super Sniffles by @theoceanismyinkwell (Peter gets sick on his birthday and Tony takes care of him in a very Tony way)

Spider-Man sickfic by @whumpingwillow - (Peter gets sick at the compound)

also @toosicktoocare‘s entire masterlist, honestly. What a legend.

And I’m sure there are many, many more, but I’ll stop here for now. Happy reading!

[ad1thi]

which avenger...?

tagged by: @stardustandbucky // general disclaimer that im using the extended avengers, not just the OG six because its more fun that way

//

1. Which avenger would you recruit to help you plan your birthday? thor because Asgardian parties are legendary

2. Which avenger would you switch suits with for a day? t’challa because it feels like he has the most practical suit; and almost the most protective suit. those upgrades that shuri added so it absorbs kinetic energy? peak stuff

3. Which avenger would you want to train with? natasha because we’re both women but steve for the view

4. Oh No, you need help! Which avenger would you call if you’re in trouble? tony because i trust him the most

5. Uh oh, you got arrested, which avenger were you with? steve. we were probably protesting

6. The Avengers are playing basketball, which avenger would you pick first to be on your team? thor. its a height thing

7. You’re trying to make your ex jealous, which avenger do you pretend to date? tony. you can’t go wrong with your resident playboy 

8. You’re out for a good time, and need a wing man/woman, which avenger do you pick for the job? sam, because i feel like he’d be a good wingman. or rhodey because he’s had so much experience with tony that he’s good at judging character almost instantly yknow

9. You woke up with a hangover, which avenger were you drunk with? i don’t drink so me and tony have spent the night being each other’s sober companions and collecting video evidence of the avengers getting increasingly drunk

10. You’re going on a road trip, which avenger do you ride with? peter parker because you never know what happens on the road 👀😏

11. No way! You slept with one of the avengers. Which avenger did you wake up next to? tony stark. and james rhodes. i was the filling for an ironhusbands sandwich 😏

12. Your favourite band is having a concert, which avenger goes with you? ooh uhh - i feel like peter parker?? just because of the generation thing?? like don’t get me wrong i love all of them but i don’t rly see any of them vibing with my type of music

13. You’re going shopping, and need second opinions, which avenger do you trust to help you pick out outfits? Hope. she’s got such amazing style are you kidding me i love everything she wears

14. Your parents want to meet one of your new friends, which avenger do you take to meet your parents? ooh this was a tough one but tony because he’s my fav and therefore my mama must love him 

15. You get injured on a mission, which avenger would you trust to be in charge of your care? tony but not for the reasons you think. unlike all the other avengers, tony wasn’t born into the superhero life and vividly remembers what it’s like to be a civilian - and therefore the most likely to sympathise with me

16. Your room is a mess, which avenger do you pick to be your butler, and clean your room? peter. his webbing thing will come in handy. ooh or pietro because of the speed thing

17. You wanna play a prank on the team, but need help. Which avenger do you pick to help you prank the rest of the team? i hate it say it but Cli - 🤮 Clin 🤮 - fanon Barton (pls forgive me for my sins)

18. Time to buy Christmas presents, which avenger is the easiest for you to buy for? steve. i feel like i could just pick up some vintage stuff or a book he hasn’t gotten around to reading yet and he’d look at me like i hung the moon

19. You’re going on a mission but only one other person can go. Which member of the team do you choose to go with you? peter because you never know what can happen on a mission 👀😏. also the generation thing. 

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tagging: @rxmanoff, @spiderrpcrker, @iam93percentstardust and anyone else who wants to do this!!