#rhysand loves dirty jokes

[i-only-see-daylight]

Feyre: What are you in the mood for? 

Rhysand: World domination. 

Feyre: That's a bit ambitious. 

Rhysand: You are my world. 

Feyre: Aww... 

[long pause]

Feyre: OH.

[vanserrasswife]

NSFW alphabet for Az please🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

NSFW alphabet

Azriel x Reader

A=Aftercare

He’s very soft and caring after sex, a stark contrast to him during sex. He asks if you're okay, if you're thirsty, hungry, comfortable. 

He runs you  a bath, washes your hair for you and then dries you off, carries you to bed and  spoons you (or rests your head on his chest and plays with your hair).

B=Body part

He loves his stomach, he loves how toned it is,how it shows all his hard work. He also loves to see you grinding on his stomach.

On you he loves your thighs and your hips, he loves having something to hold onto when he’s pleasuring you. (He also loves seeing your thighs getting thicker when you sit down👀)

C=Cum

He always makes you come at least once (usually two or three times)  before he does. 

He loves coming inside you to feel how tight you squeeze him. He also loves when you come together but you almost always come more  times than he does.

D=Dirty secret

He’s secretly a switch, but he prefers to be more dominant. However when he feels more submissive he loves when you take care of him. He likes when you take charge and give him pleasure as he normally does to you.

E=Experience

He’s pretty experienced. I mean he’s over 500 and if Rhysand and Cassian in the books are anything to go off of, then Azriel definitely knows what he’s doing. He’s tried lots, and lots of different things.

F=Favourite position

He loves the intimacy of missionary, but loves being able to watch your ass in doggy. 

However, he loves when you sit on his face. He loves being trapped between your thighs.

G=Goofy

I think he’s pretty serious during sex, I think he carries it over from his everyday life. For him sex is about being vulnerable and showing devotion to the other. 

He’s also pretty kinky and rough during sex so he likes to know that you’re comfortable and  okay with what’s going on. So I think he’d be pretty serious.

But, he can be a little bit goofy during sex, especially in the morning, he would joke around a bit.

H=Hair

I think he keeps it trimmed but not bare, it’s not wild, it's short and doesn’t come past the base of his cock. 

I=Intimacy

Intimacy is important for Azriel, he likes to show how important you are to him through sex. However sex for Azriel is also a form of release. So intimacy is important to Azriel but not all of the time.

J=Jack off

I don’t think that he did it alot before he met you, I think he has really good self control, so he could ignore it until he was desperate. So I don't think he does it when he gets with you. Other than if he’s punishing you or if you're both doing it.

K=Kink

Wingplay (if that’s what it’s called), he would love it if you touched his wings whilst he’s fucking you. Just run your nails over the wing and watch all the self control leave his body.

Spanking. Azriel’s favourite way of punishing you is spanking, he likes the reminder it leaves, the red marks, the slight pain when you try to sit down the next day. He likes that it doesn’t leave a permanent  mark.

He loves tying you up as well. Seeing you all spread out and ready for him. He likes the trust you place in him to allow him to tie you up.

L=Location

He likes the bedroom as you are both free  to be as loud and as wild as you like. He likes the privacy of it.

However if one of you is too desperate he will pull you off to the side and fuck you. 

He loves to punish you in this way. Pulling you off to the side murmuring about how you just couldn’t wait and telling you to be silent whilst he fucks you the way he wants to. And not letting you come.

M=Motivation

Seeing you in training leathers. If he manages to catch and convince you, best believe you guys are at least an hour late.

He loves seeing you stand up for yourself, what you believe in or standing up for him. He thinks you look really attractive when doing that.

N=No

Nothing that would leave a permanent mark or a serious injury. Nothing that would cause you lots of pain. 

I  also think he wouldn’t be into somno unless he knows that you really trust him and he gets your consent the day/night before multiple times.

O=Oral

I think he prefers giving, he loves seeing you fall apart underneath him. But, he also likes having you on your knees for him. However I think he prefers eating you out. It’s about 70/30 on giving and receiving.

P=Pace

The pace of sex with Azriel changes depending on his mood. If he’s showing you how important you are, how much he loves you he takes it quite slow. But if he’s punishing you or just having rough sex then it is quite fast.

Q=Quickie

I think Azriel doesn’t really have an opinion on quickies, he’s impartial. He likes having a quick relief but he also likes to take his time with you.

R=Risk

I think he will take risks, but nothing that will harm you or him. He’s open to trying pretty much anything as long as everyone involved has consented.

S=Stamina

This man can go for hours, multiple rounds. He can last for ages, I mean he spends all these hours training he’s got to have pretty good stamina. 

T=Toys

I think you and Azriel don’t use toys a lot because you don’t really need them. Azriel’s really confident in his abilities.

 However I think you guys would have a simple vibrator that Azriel would use on you occasionally. He’d tie you up and place it on your clit, or just inside you. He’d use it to  edge you or overstimulate you.

U=Unfair

I think Azriel doesn’t really tease you if he wants you, he makes it obvious. He can withstand your teasing  for a very long time, he has the self-control of a saint. He can easily wait hours upon hours until he snaps.

V=Volume

I think he’s pretty quiet but he does make quite a lot of sounds. He groans and occasionally (especially if you play with his wings) whimpers. He praises you a lot, but will also degrade you in a subtle way( e.g his little whore). But he doesn’t make a lot of noise.

W=Wild card

He loves edging you for ages and then making you come over and over, multiple times in a row. He loves how it makes your legs shake and you  beg him to stop. Especially if he’s punishing you for trying  to distract him all day.

Y=Yearning

He has an insanely high sex drive, this man could fuck for hours before getting tired so best believe he needs you at least twice a day. However he is very good at hiding it, so if he doesn’t think you want to he won’t tell you.

Z=Zzz

He falls asleep quite slowly after sex. He likes to  sit and talk for a while, cuddling before falling asleep. And he always lets you fall asleep first, he never falls asleep before you. 

He quietly tells you about his day whilst you drift off to sleep, before he falls asleep playing with your hair.

[redbleedingrose]

Girl Dad!Rhysand x Reader Headcanons Pt 2

Part 1

A/N: So it turns out you all enjoyed the first post and I kept coming up with more ideas so here we go!

Girl dad Rhys back at it again stealing all our hearts smh <333333

I feel like Rhys is really into family vacations! He loves taking time to just relax with his mate and his little shining star, often taking you and the babe up to the private cabin to just get away from the stress of being high lord and high lady. He really believes that the key to having a happy and healthy relationship with both you and your daughter is being “normal” and truly just being himself around the people he cares most for in the entire world.

He is definitely the kind of mate to have a secluded beach house, a quaint cabin in the Illyrian mountains, a cozy cottage in the forests that he personally designed. Ofc there is a huge master bedroom with an on-suite sitting area with a gigantic balcony that has the best views in the entire home. He also designs the perfect room for your babe, even including additional rooms for any future children you may have (which he is quite desperate for). There is a play room with lots of sensory development toys, a library that holds collections of all your and your daughters favorite books from different authors, there is definitely a pool (for late night skinny dipping), and a music room that has the piano and guitars so your daughter can learn how to play.

He adores playing chess with his shining star. She always wins against her 500 year old father despite being only 3. He loves watching her little pigtails bounce as she dances and jumps with glee, teasing her mama: “I won mama, you never win against papa, right papa?” Her chubby cheeks flushing with excitement as she stares up at you with innocent widened eyes. “That’s right my shining star, papa always wins,” his violet eyes glinting with starlight as he sends you a cheeky wink that leaves you feeling flushed all over

The asshole never lets you win, in fact, he always has a stupid sexy smug smirk on his face every time you play against him.

At some point during your relationship, you forced Azriel to teach you all of Rhys’ dirty tricks so you can finally win against him.

It did not work.

Man’s already had you figured out. Watching you with one eyebrow raised and a grin tugging at his lips every time you played a move where you thought you had the upper hand, only for him to end up winning.

It’s okay though… he ate you out for hours as a reward for trying so hard

ANYWAY

I feel like your daughter and Rhys are connected on a deeper level. Like I said, this male adores her. Treats her like a princess. Coddles her to the extreme while making sure she understands her privilege. Regardless… they just understand each other more than you could ever describe. It is that unconditional deep love that he has for her that makes their bond so special.

Any time she has a nightmare? Rhys is already awake and jogging towards her room to bring her back to your bed and let her sleep between the both of you or on his chest.

When she was just a babe, before she could talk, you could swear that with the way Rhys and her stared at each other, they were communicating and could understand each other. They still do that now. It is like they have their own language, inside jokes that end with high pitched giggles and Rhys tickling her and pulling her close to smooch her ruddy cheeks.

There was a phase your daughter had where she would try to sneak into your bed to sleep with you and Rhys. You would wake up every single time she tried, silently watching with a soft smile and bleary eyes as Rhys shush’s her as she stares up at him with her violet puppy dog eyes, “C’mere little love, shh don’t wake mama, s’okay, you can sleep with us tonight,” already leaning down to pick her up under her outstretched arms to settle her between you both. When she crawls in behind you and tries to throw her tiny arm around your waist, you will turn around with a gentle groan and pull her into your chest, tucking her head under your chin and planting a soft kiss to her fluffy hair so she can snuggle into you completely.

Rhysand still struggles to sleep some nights. Some nights, he wakes up gasping for air and clutching his chest, staring at you desperately while you rub his back and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. On these nights though, Rhys is completely content and at ease. When you and his babe are with him, you both are entirely safe. The thing is… he feels entirely safe too. He leans in for a quick peck before scooting forward to cuddle you both into him, almost immediately sliding back into a deep sleep with you both in his arms.

This male is also the most extravagant and outlandish fae you have ever met. This male insists on matching EVERYWHERE. Before your daughter was born, he would have clothes that were specially made for you both so that you could match wherever you went. Now??? This male has you AND your daughter matching with him.

Matching pajama sets??? A MUST

Regular every day wear??? Better be matching

training clothes???

“We are on the same team darling, we have to match,” he pleads as you stare at him exasperated as hell. He will even rope your daughter in, I cannot with him frl… “Isn’t that right my little star? You want mama to match with me and you right?”

And how are you supposed to resist your adorable daughter clapping her tiny hands and clutching at your dress, rocking back and forth on her heels with her violet eyes looking up at you, “Yes mama! Please match with us!” with the largest toothy smile, reminding you how she is growing up too fast

Matching starfall outfits?? Absolutely, without a doubt, its not a want, its a NEED

Male gets weak in the knees when he realizes that you and your babe are wearing your hair in the same hairstyle. He bites at your exposed neck and whisper begs for another babe.

Can we just discuss how adorable your babe is? Her violet eyes and ruddy cheeks that are so chubby every time she smiles with wild hair that can barely be controlled? Her round belly and tiny hands that barely fist around 3 of Rhys’ fingers and her feet that stumble and scamper through the marbled floors with delighted screams as Azriel and Cassian play tag with her. She is your little angel.

All that to say, Rhysand absolutely blows raspberries onto her tummy that results in squeals and laughter that make the stars shine brighter. He also loves to pretend to eat and chew on her toes and feet. They are his favorite “snack” as he likes to tell your babe.

Whenever she falls or hurts herself, she immediately comes running to you with fat tears rolling down her ruddy cheeks and her arms sticking out so her mama can cuddle and kiss away her pain. Obviously a mama’s kiss is healing of all things. Rhys worries like a mother hen, fretting over her paper cut, “Should we call Madja darling?? Are you sure??? Look, she is crying!!! I think we should call Majda. She needs to clear out the clinic immediately so all of the healers can focus on her!!!” And you are just rolling your eyes and smooching away your shining stars tears and her boo boo. After she has calmed down a little, all she wants to do is cuddle with her papa, and he will immediately bring her into his arms and hold her against his chest, his fluttering heart with panic beating under her tiny head while he plants kisses all over her temple and forehead while checking her boo boo and signs of any other boo boos. He will also add his own kiss because, “papa wants to help too little love.”

You wanna know what Rhys thinks is the most adorable thing?? It is when your daughter follows you around and pretends to be high lady because she wants to be exactly like her mama. She drinks her milk from her sippy cup and pretends that it is the coffee that you drink every morning. She bosses Cassian around, forcing him to have tea parties with her to mimic gatherings with other courts, and loves when Mor dresses her up and gets her all dolled up. She loves joining you and Rhys in your shared office and acts like she is “in charge” of meetings, often falling asleep in the chair with her belly sticking out of her shirt that is riding up, milk dripping out of the sippy cup onto the wooden floors as it hangs out from her hand, soft snores while you and Rhys discuss political strategy softly in the background, kissing her head every so often to see that tiny sleepy smile as she shifts deeper into the sofa.

Rhysand has no strength against her. One messily pout from her gets her whatever she wants. Some high lord he is (affectionate in love eye roll)

She wants a horse?

“But darling, it is just a tiny project with 100 stables and 100 horses. It is entirely plausible. My little star deserves to have all the horses she wants”

She wants a pup?

“Okay little love, but we have to convince mama first so make sure you give her your puppy dog eyes okay?” (Smooches her cheeks ten times before settling her on his hip and making his way to your office)

She wants new shoes?

“My heart… she only has two closet collection of shoes… she should have at least fifteen as the future high lady!”

“Rhys she is only four.”

“That doesn’t matter darling! She deserves the best of the best, just as you do.”

She wants a new house?

“Sweetheart, we only have five houses. A high lord and lady can have a couple more. Especially if our shining star wants another.”

“Rhys, she does not need another house. She is fine.”

“But darling…” (whines like a baby until you give in and he builds another home for you)

She wants a sister?

“I think it’s time for another darling”

“You think so?”

“Yes darling, I-”

“I think so too husband.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

ACOTAR MASTERLIST

[jeannineee]

NSFW Alphabet: Rhysand (A Court of Thorns and Roses)

nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare king. Even if you’re both exhausted, he’ll clean you up, change the sheets. He’ll kiss every inch of your body, praising you, telling you how much he loves you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his mouth, both for his wit and the ways he can use it on you. The two of you could be at an important meeting or gathering, and he’ll casually whisper all the things he’s going to do to you when you get home. He loves littering your body with kisses and marks, attaching his lips to your neck, your nipples, your clit. Yeah, definitely his mouth.

As for you? He loves your boobs. Small or big, he doesn’t care. He’ll take his time marking them. No matter what position you’re doing, he finds a way to hold onto them. Even when you’re sleeping, he’ll rest a hand on them. Definitely a boobs man.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Prefers to come inside of you. Something primal takes over him when he pulls out and watches his seed drip out of your cunt.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A little bit more of an exhibitionist than he lets on. (The ACOMAF throne scene? Come on.) He’s definitely into the idea of showing everyone exactly who you belong to.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s been around for centuries. He knows what he’s doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Good ol’ missionary. He loves being able to watch your face as he fucks you. He has more access to the rest of your body. It’s more intimate, too.

Definitely likes spooning, too. Especially when you’ve both just woken up. His lips will trace along your neck as he holds your leg up, gently thrusting into you. Biiiig fan of lazy morning sex.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s more serious, for sure. Not one to crack jokes, unless you’re having a quickie (which isn’t often).

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed. He likes it better that way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Even when he’s being more rough, he’s still so romantic. He’s had bad experiences with sex, (Amarantha) so he’ll constantly remind you how much he loves you, how perfect you are for him. Pls do the same he’s so precious.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hmm. Doesn’t do it very often, unless he has to be away from you for an extended period of time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I feel like most of the ACOTAR men have breeding kinks, honestly. He’s into exhibitionism for sure. Something tells me he might have a slight daddy kink, too.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bed is the most comfortable for him, but he loves the idea of you riding him on his throne, too. If he needs you badly enough, he’ll take you just about anywhere.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Pretty much anything you do, lol. But he loooves when you fuss over him. When you remind him to take breaks from his work, when you ask him if he’s eaten, how much sleep he’s gotten. He doesn’t know what he did to ever deserve you, but he worships the ground you walk on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Would not hurt you in any way. Even if you asked him to. Besides that, I think he’d be down for just about anything.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man is a GIVER, through and through. Remember how I said he worships the ground you walk on? He worships your body, too. He’ll spend HOURS with his tongue between your legs, lapping at your cunt, marking your thighs, until you’re practically begging him to stop. He’s addicted.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be rough, but it’s not super often. Sensual and slow is the way to go, for him. He’ll put your legs over his shoulders, deeply thrusting into you, murmuring words of praise, hitting that one angle that has you seeing stars.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t prefer them, unless you’re feeling really needy, and you’re both short on time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) I can.

Again, wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, but he will try just about anything you bring up to him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for as long as you want him to. His stamina is through the roof. Not as much as Cassian, but still up there.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He occasionally uses a vibrator on your clit as he fucks you. Will try anything else you want, too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is so MEAN. You’ll be bored at a meeting, and Rhys will use his daemati abilities to send you images of him fucking you, from his point of view. He’ll speak in your mind, reveling in the way your face reddens as he does it.

“Look at how perfectly we fit.”

“Making a mess of my cock, aren’t you?”

“You take my cock so well.”

SHEESH

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not too loud, until he comes. Will WHIMPER when you’re sucking him off. Tons of dirty talk.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Would definitely like to try a threesome. With Helion

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s packing. We all know it. He’s not as thick as Cassian, but he’s BIG.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Moderate, but he’s always down if you are.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Actually loves talking to you for a bit afterwards, until you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

[sovisenya]

Fire of Love

warnings: angst, drinking, slight pining, thoughts of sadness/depression

summary: azriel sits among his friends and family, surrounded by love that burns him straight to his scarred soul.

Azriel knew from the day he was born that he was unworthy. Unworthy, one of the many words that ricochet through the Shadowsinger's cranium. Filthy. Cruel. Unworthy. Vile. Scarred hands to match his scarred soul. The scorch of flames hundreds of years ago still torments the God of Death. It was a mantra of his damnation. The shadows that licked at his ears all hours of every day, whispering steel-tongued secrets, were no help in guiding Azriel astray from his descent into Hel. The crackling embers of the fire burning in the fireplace draw his dazed attention, his eyes fleeting up to the Illyrian warrior seated on the couch across from him. The general master with a sly smirk on his face as he teases Nesta, his mate. Something about her books. The smutty ones she's infamous for reading. Her hardened face arched a brow, her fatally beautiful features silently challenging him back.

He looked away, his wince almost slipping through his mask. He could almost feel the way the words of his thoughts dagger through his heart. His gaze landed on his other brother. The High Lord with his High Lady perched on Rhysand's lap. Their tattooed arms tangled with Feyre leaning back against her mate. Feyre laughed at the two. Nothing but joyous love laced in the sound as she watched Nesta and Cassian bicker. Azriel watched as a deep blush reddened on Feyre's face, his brother's hazed eyes indicating he spoke through their bond. Intimate promises that were too dirty for anyone but his mate to hear.

His grip tightened around the glass of fae wine in his hand that rested on the arm of the fine lounge chair, he was happy for them truly. He inhaled shakily through his nose, releasing it with a mindful purpose that strained to ease the tension coiling in the pit of his stomach. A bubbling, disgusting feeling. He was so happy for them. He would swear it on the Mother, the Cauldron - Hel, he'd even swear it on his beloved dagger, Truth-Teller. He was happy for them.

His eyes trailed over to Mor. His once-believed love of his life with her own mate laughing at the teases and jokes being poked among the inner circle of the Night Court. Next to them, his latest pined obsession rested delicately against the fiery-haired male with an armed wrapped around her. Her eyes closed and peaceful, content with the safety and security that her mate provided her. Azriel's eyes raked over her soft form. Noticing the way the arm tightened around her, the spymaster's eyes met that of the mate that caught him red-handed. The metal eye whirring as it narrowed slightly, challenging and possessive. Azriel had long since given up his advances toward Elain. Her relationship with Lucien began to bud shortly after last year's Winter Solstice. And now, almost a year later, Azriel finds himself sitting in a room surrounded by all those he cared about and their mates.

Azriel with nothing to hold but the full glass of fae wine that had now been nothing but that. Something to hold. He was happy for them, he told himself again. He was happy despite the nauseating feeling that boiled inside of him. Envy, jealousy, resentment. He hated himself for it. Unworthy. Azriel dropped his gaze back to the full glass aerating in his hand. He gave it a few swirls with his wrist, stirring the drink lightly for good luck, for courage, bringing it to his full lips. He eased his head back, finishing it in all but a couple of swallows. He was going to need another one.

All of his family sat occupied and smitten with their mates. Azriel sat alone with nothing but some sparkling china and a few flasks of wine. Maybe this was all he was meant for. The way the history books will tell of the feared Night Court. The feared High Lord, the most powerful daemati in Prythian with the adored Feyre Cursebreaker by his side. His general of Illyrian warriors, Cassian with his own powerful equal, Nesta the Death Made fae. Him. Azriel the shadowsinger, spymaster, scarred and unworthy of being given a mate by the Cauldron. Azriel and his mate, his own hand. He scoffed to himself. You really are your own worst enemy.

[folkdances]

this is completely unfounded btw just drawing on what i've read and seen and observed but i think the reason so many cis women love stories like acotar is because it provides the illusion of power all while providing a safety net. let me explain. feyre is from the very beginning said to be very self reliant, she knows how to hunt and is capable with weaponry, because she's been tasked with the role of housekeeping for her childish, stubborn sisters and her frail, passive father. she's a painter, but she doesn't get to indulge this hobby often out of necessity as her family lives in severe poverty after losing all their considerable wealth to forces outside of their control. feyre butchers a fae disguised as a wolf and in turn is whisked off to prythian to pay off the life debt. here is the first token: having all of your arduous responsibilities taken off your shoulders. not having to feed and care for and deal with anything mundane; feyre is taken to the spring court where she lives in relative comfort and ease, having her every need met despite putting up a fight the entire way, juggling interactions with her monstrous and attractive "captor", tamlin. tamlin is rugged and battle hardened, but sjm makes sure to show us his soft side multiple times. he plays the fiddle, he tells dirty jokes to make a pretty girl laugh. he's also hundreds of years old. but he's not dangerous enough. sjm knows she needs to take this story somewhere and that readers have mostly grown bored of the quaint, pastoral balm of the spring court, so she has feyre stuffed into a wedding gown for a wedding she doesn't want to have only to be rescued by rhysand.

rhysand is sexy, he is insanely powerful, and he is a mystery, all reasons why he was the favourable candidate to tamlin. he, too, has centuries over feyre's lifespan, centuries of life experience and knowledge. he can help feyre in every aspect of her life, and in return, all she has to do is play housekeeper to his "shattered soul". sjm thoroughly established rhysand's power, both political and magical, in book one. however, she also established him as being amarantha's consort, giving him common ground ("shared trauma") with feyre. he has a soft side, she promises the reader. rhysand emphasizes that feyre can be an active player in her own life, he teaches her to read and harness her abilities. feyre becomes the high lady of the night court, a position that's never existed before, because women are not given that sort of power in this fantasy world. here is the illusion of female power: there's nothing stopping other women in this world from accruing power, and sjm prides herself on having written a feminist narrative. however, ianthe and amarantha, two of the most powerful non-night court women, are both vile and awful people. ianthe prides herself on her 'fertility', and is in text a rapist; amarantha is a tyrant and a despot who is, in her last moments, a beggar. feyre is better than them because, unlike the other two, her power was instilled through marriage. her power was given to her by tying her name to the name of a man.

rhys draws feyre in slowly with the promise of mutual respect, a home, friends with which she can have witty banter, and of course, a monster sex life, all while letting her live her role as a powerful woman in a powerful, dangerous, seductive role. i think the core principle of acotar is that a woman can be powerful all while not having any power at all; feyre is killed and remade as a high fae but with the same personality; she wines and whinges, she tries to puzzle out problems, she is the illusion of taking control of one's own life by pretending to have ducked out from beneath the patriarchy in some clever, self-made way when in fact a man was the one who saved her and her marriage to the man was what gave her a title. her decisions are driven by love for men who apart from being able to fuck her real good and have witty banter with her, have no personality and no motivations beyond a bland sense of duty/patriotism to their countries or courts. power without power. power with the safety net of a man more powerful than yourself to catch you. limited power with an unlimited illusion. and i think the reason why real-world women love this series so much despite it being a pantomime of every way it claims to be progressive and female-focused is exactly because there's none of this in the real world. in the real world no smirking well-endowed man is going to be able to kiss your cheek and tell you your problems are fixable, your trauma is completely curable, and providing a fantasy of sexual fulfillment in an unhappy or 'tired' or just normal marriage, and acotar and media like it provide a neat escape to that reality.

[bookishlilcorner]

A Kiss under the Never Ending Sky

Gwynweek2022 Day 6: Romance & Ships

A Gwynriel short fanfiction

If it wasn’t obvious already, I love the idea of Gwyn and Azriel being endgame (and most likely mates)!

Although I think both Azriel and Gwyn have to go through their healing journey (especially Azriel, he needs to get his shit together), I honestly believe they might have one of the best romances in the ACOTAR universe. The potential is there and is so sweet and cute!

I love how Gwyn brings out a side of Azriel we have never seen before. He’s much more relaxed, smiles and laughs with her. He doesn’t shy his hands away from her gaze and is out of his head (and self-loathing). He seems much more radiant and himself around her. And I love how Gwyn is so comfortable around Azriel as well. She doesn’t mind being alone with him not only during Solstice, but also during private dagger lessons. She is competitive and talks back to him when he gets cocky. Their interactions feel so natural! And we certainly didn’t miss the slight romantic coding between them. ;)

I made a little piece of Gwyn and Azriel sharing their first kiss on Starfall. It’s all fluffy and warm! Enjoy!

Word Count: 3k

@gwynweek2022

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Tonight’s Starfall was the most animated one Azriel had ever seen since Rhysand came back from Under the Mountain.

He could see it all through the large window of the dinner room at the House of Wind. Faes of all kind, clad in suits and dresses of all colors, iridescent under the street lights, were dancing in Velaris’s open air centre. Stations of food were displayed in front of the different stores and restaurants surrounding the centre, the warm scent of their spices enticing and delicious. The wind carried the Night Court’s signature scent of jasmine and lilies around, hitting Azriel’s face with softness like a gentle caress.

His shadows surrounded him, whispering things about what was going on. Apparently, Cassian had tripped over a step while showing Nesta the city centre’s decorations and was sprawled out on the floor while Nesta laughed at him. Feyre had gently pushed Rhys after he made another dirty joke. Elain and Lucien were by the river, talking about things he couldn’t hear. They seemed to be getting along pretty well these days. And Mor was with Amren and Varian, laughing with a glass of wine about some anecdote Varian was telling them.

A small smile spread across his face. He couldn’t wait to go down there with everyone, with Morrigan, Emerie, Elain, his brothers Rhysand and Cassian and their mates, Feyre and Nesta, Amren and her... Varian. He wasn’t sure what they were exactly. And of course, with Gwyn.

Gwyneth Berdara and he became friends. Close friends even, although he wasn’t sure now if what he felt for her was truly platonic. He couldn’t take his eyes off her whenever they were together, either during training with Cassian and the other valkyries or when they were hanging out by the river or in the House alone. She was always on his mind at night, and not in a steamy kind of way. He kept thinking about what he could do to make her happy and smile the way it made his heart bounce at every occasion, about how warm, comfortable and just right her hugs were, about her coppery brown hair that light up in strands of gold and red under the sun and about how her teal eyes sparked every time they look at each other, bringing back the sparks he felt inside since that Solstice.

She made him feel things he never did before. He felt a little thing for Elain before and he thought he had been in love with Mor, but whatever it was with them didn’t even come to the feet of what he was feeling for Gwyn. 

But maybe that is because they’re best friends, right?

Rhys and Cassian were rolling their eyes when he said that, the night before. 

“Az, you’re in love. Stop with the excuses and face it.” Cassian said.

“You’re describing the exact same things I feel for Feyre. You’re gone for her, brother.” Rhys added.

Although his pathetic excuses made them want to roll to their graves, they were overjoyed. Not only did he open up and came to them for advice, but they also noticed just how relaxed and happy he was. He no longer looked shrouded with envy and self-loathing. He no longer stayed in his corner with his thoughts. He no longer had that icy rage burning in his eyes.

And it wasn’t entirely because of Gwyn. They could sense it. The shift that made him want to become better, to be at ease with himself, started before he began to feel more for her than friendship. They didn’t know exactly what caused it, but it must’ve been quite big for him to snap out of his misery. A rude awakening indeed.

He didn’t hear the footsteps coming up. His shadows didn’t bother telling him anyways. Gwyn stood in front of the room, about to step into the threshold.

She stared at the Shadowsinger’s figure by the window looking down outside, the wind blowing through his made up hair. Wearing a black, neat cut suit with slits for his Illyrian wings, the blazer beautifully crafted with small intricate details of dancing silvery swirls, his cobalt blue siphons glowing lightly, he looked like the angel of Death with his shadows swirling around him, bringing out his sharp angular features.

Beautiful, lethal, almost dangerous to touch, and yet Gwyn felt the urge to run her fingers over his sharp jawline, his strong eyebrows, his tall nose, his soft lips. She felt the air constrict in her throat as he softly smiled at the gathering outside, and the sight of him made her all hot and nervous.

He was her closest friend after Nesta and Emerie, and she was irrevocably in love with him.

She licked her lips, composing herself. She didn’t want him to know how much he affected her.

“Lost your head in the stars?”

He turned his head at the feminine voice, sweet yet deep and mystical, and he felt the air knocking him out of his balance at the sight of her.

Gwyn stood at the threshold with a confident gaze, a hand on her hip and the other on the doorframe. She wore a gown of a deep blue almost identical to the cobalt siphons on his person, reflecting the light of the city on its smooth, silky material. He caught shine on the dress. The tissue had been encrusted with a few small crystals here and there, less in number than the one Feyre wore during her first Starfall. The straps of the upper bodice was held onto below her shoulders by a silvery adornment on both sides, and a deep sweetheart neckline showed a bit of her cleavage. She wore silver bracelets on her wrists with details he couldn’t tell, and a crystal headpiece on her head with dropping strands of silver gems on top of her hair, the resulting effect being a harmony of gold, red, brown and silver blue.

His shadows danced at the sight of her as well, following a music he couldn’t hear, but feel. He was finding it hard to breathe.

Mother above, he thought, she‘s putting the stars to shame. She’s so beautiful.

Look who’s sprouting poetry now, his shadows seemed to say.

“Your mouth’s hanging open.” She teased, walking towards him.

He closed his mouth at the statement, his face turning hotter. He meant to take a step towards her, but his legs felt weak, so weak, that he stumbled on his feet. Gwyn’s laugh echoed in the room.

“I’ve made the Shadowsinger of the Night Court stumble on his feet. That must earn me some respect, and rewards.” She teased with a wide smile.

Now that they were standing close, he noticed gold and silver sparkles on her eyelids, her long eyelashes coated with darkness, bringing out the blue in her irises. Her smile became softer, her plumb lips coated rosy nude.

He stared at her lips a little too long, because his shadows suddenly seemed to tell him to look away. He smiled at her and said, “You’ve dolled yourself up pretty nicely.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Looks like I’m not the only one.” She reached her hand towards his shoulder, tracing the silver swirls.

“Rhys insisted I dress up for the occasion.” The lie came out smoothly. In truth, he went to Rhys for help, but no way would he ever admit that out loud.

“I didn’t think I’d see you without your Illyrian leathers and weapons.”

“I’m not unarmed.” He answered, showing his dagger, Truth-teller, under his blazer. He never was.

“So am I.” She smirked. She pushed the fabric of her gown aside, the slit showing her two daggers strapped to her thigh.

He wasn’t sure if the weather went warmer or he did.

She started to take her hand off his shoulder, but he caught it in his hand, dropping his head to press a slight kiss. Barely a brush of his lips grazed her skin, and yet he swore she held her breath at the touch. He smirked, feeling satisfied with himself at how affected she was around him even with her best efforts to hide it. He looked at the bracelets on her wrists, catching the details depicting designs synonymously Illyrian.

He lifted his head, his gaze turning from tease to seriousness. “Y-you-“ He cleared his throat. “You look really beautiful tonight.”

She blushed, but held her chin high. “I’d hate to add to your cocky ego, but I must say you’re pretty handsome yourself.”

He laughed, his shadows swirling around their locked hands. “Let’s join the others, shall we?”

The stars were falling. Specks of green, gold, teal and white floating in the sky over the crowd of Faes drinking, eating and dancing the night away.

Gwyn was seated with Emerie, Nesta, Mor, Elain and Lucien. Emerie and Mor, drunk, were playing some sort of game, their shoulders touching. Elain and Lucien were in a debate over which court had the prettiest flowers between Day, Dawn and Spring. Lucien seemed to be winning so far as his travels all over Prythian gave him an advantage over Elain and her books on flowers. Gwyn and Nesta, by themselves, were discussing smutty books they’ve been reading recently.

Azriel, at the other end of the open air centre, was in the middle of a challenge with Cassian. The loser had to babysit Nyx while the other would go with Rhys to Illyria for some court business. He would’ve easily won had he not been so entranced by Gwyn’s mesmerizing laugh that echoed all the way to him despite the loud sound of the crowd. He didn’t understand how he could hear her, but he did. This thing between them was something else, something he could never explain. It glowed inside whenever he and Gwyn were having a good time, and went tight whenever something was not right with her. He felt connected to her, and strangely didn’t mind it.

Rhys and Feyre were dancing under the falling stars, their eyes softly staring into each other. He smiled at them, at the love they had for one another. Amren and Varian were nowhere to be seen, but he suspected they went somewhere else for more privacy.

“Just ask her to dance.” Cassian’s voice broke his trail of thoughts.

He turned his head, shadows resting by his shoulders. “What?”

“It’s obvious you want to. You’ve barely paid attention to the game, which you lost by the way. Have fun babysitting Nyx tomorrow. Two years old and his powers are already threatening to blast Rhys’s town house.” Cassian snickered, taking a sip of his wine.

Azriel groaned. Fair. “She’s already comfortable with Nesta. I don’t want to-“

“Shut up.” He interrupted. “She was comfortable with Nesta, but I’m about to ask my mate to dance. Also, Gwyn would not reject a dance from you, unless you pissed her off. Did you?”

He shook his head. Their interaction at the House did not indicate any sign of Gwyn being pissed at him.

Cassian put a large hand on his back, laughing. “You were the one making fun of me complimenting Nesta five years ago, but look at you now. Anyways, I miss my mate. See you.”

He took two steps before turning back. “Oh, and make it romantic.”

Azriel glared at him half-heartedly. “We’re just friends.”

“Sure you are.”

Azriel, now left alone, contemplated how to ask her. It should be simple, no? Just ask her. Why was he so damn nervous about such a simple question?

Gwyn, now alone after Cassian took Nesta away, stared into the crowd. Cassian, ever the awkward, but surprisingly good dancer, laughed at some insult Nesta threw him, but she could tell by the soft eyes and smile on her face that it wasn’t anything mean. She smiled at them before catching movement by the corner of her eye.

One shadow curled in front of her, disappearing as quickly as it appeared, and she laughed. Azriel must’ve sent it to her. She stood up, passing by Lucien and Elain, the latter holding the handsome red-head’s hand.

Azriel wasn’t at the place he was with Cassian when she saw them earlier. She looked around before finding a pair of Illyrian wings by the bridge standing over the river. There was only a few other people there. He stared at her with a soft smile, the light of the stars above illuminating his face parts of his handsome face while leaving others in the dark. She could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat at the sight.

She reached to him, resting her back on the balustrade. “Your shadow sent me word that you wanted me here.”

He stared at her. “My shadow? I didn’t send it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure you didn’t.”

He adjusted his collar, seeming nervous. She noticed. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was wondering if- do you want to dance? With me?”

She stared at him before deciding to tease him. “Hm, let me think. Do I want to dance?”

A silence fell. He looked at her. She was making him even more nervous as he stood there waiting for her answer.

She noticed it as well and couldn’t help but smile, taking his hand in hers. “Of course I want to dance with you.”

The smile that spread across his face shone so brightly it could put Rhys’s to shame. He pulled her closer to him, his arm circling her waist slowly, “Is it okay for me to touch your waist?”

She nodded, his touch leaving tingles all over her body. “Yes.” She breathed.

They danced like this, the stars falling over their head, with the sight of the mountains behind the Illyrian spymaster’s wings and the river illuminated by green, silver and gold starlight. Having her so close to him, her scent clouding his mind, made Azriel feel so at ease, so relaxed, so happy. This night was perfect beyond words.

“I like Starfall. It’s different from seeing it from the library’s windows.” Gwyn said, looking up. “The crowd is so lively, the food is exquisite, and I love being surrounded by my friends during such a beautiful night. But most of all, I get to spend it with you.”

He stared at her, stared as her teal eyes shone with starlight. Damn, he thought. I’m in love with her.

Rhys and Cassian were right. He was such a dumb, blind fool.

“With me?” He whispered, his hair catching a strand of her hair and placing it behind her delicately arched ears, slightly touching the crystals on her hair.

She looked into his eyes, swirls of honey and green specks. “Of course. You’re important to me, Az.”

He felt his heart warm up at the words, and he wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting softly on her head. He closed his eyes, whispering, “You are important to me too. You have no idea.”

She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes as she breathed him in. He smelled so nice, a blend of wood and jasmine. Their bodies moved side to side at the slow song playing from the city’s centre.

She unwrapped her arms first, wanting to stare into the eyes of the male she loved, but instead her eyes fell on his lips. She didn’t know why, but she wanted to kiss him so badly. She did for awhile, but tonight felt particularly stronger.

She unconsciously bit her bottom lip, but Azriel noticed. He noticed her stare as well, what it was looking at, and his heart started beating faster. She wanted to kiss him. He could tell. And he knew he wanted to kiss her as well, wanted to get lost in her scent, her touch and her taste.

He began slowly lowering his head, hers immediately raising to close the gap. Resting their foreheads against each other’s, he looked at her face, her closed eyes, and asked, “I- Can I kiss you?”

She nodded. “Yes, please.” She sounded eager, as if she had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

He grinned, closing the gap between them as their lips touched. Sparks lit up between them, his shadows swirling around them, as if dancing and singing to a song only they could hear. He put his hand by the side of her neck, tilting her head up as he deepened the kiss. She rose her arms to his chest, bringing herself closer to his body. He felt so warm, so nice. She couldn’t get enough of his touch.

They were so deeply engrossed in their kiss under the falling stars that they didn’t notice eyes staring at them. Cassian and Nesta were grinning, telling Emerie ‘I told you so’, the latter laughing and suggesting ideas on how to torment them during training. They walked away from the very platonic couple, giving them some privacy, and joined the rest of the crowd.

They laid their foreheads against one another after their kiss, laughs leaving their mouths. Gwyn pulled back to stare at the stars, a beautiful smile on her face. “This Starfall is really one of a kind.”

Azriel, who was totally looking at the sky, said, “Yes, it is.”

She looked down to see him gaze at her. She playfully hit his chest gently. “Oh, shut up, shadowsinger.”

He laughed, tightening his grip on her hand. His shadows curled around their hands. He looked behind her, noticing some movement. “I see Rhys and Nesta calling us. Do you want to join them?”

She looked behind at the crowd, at the ambience and the life it exuded. “Do you?”

He nodded. He felt particularly sociable tonight strangely enough, as if Gwyn’s kiss revived some energy deep inside him. They made their way to the crowd.

The rest of the night went smoothly. Azriel had fun with Rhys and Cassian, making up silly games the drunker they got, and the women would challenge them whenever they would get cocky and think they could win against them.

The night was memorable, one that everyone would cherish for a long, long time.

Indeed, this Starfall was one of a kind.

[imsointobooks]

For the character ask game: Emerie and Azriel! 🧡

Thanks for the ask @gilded-sakura 💕💕(quick question are you the-bookish-deer under another profile?)

Emerie

General Opinion: Love her. I swear that woman is perfect. She is such a well developed charcter and her characteristics are literally everything. She is so so strong and resilient and will go down swinging for her friends. She is brave and practical and fun and likea to make dirty jokes and is a reader. What more could you want!

Hotness Level: Gorgeous!! Dark skin dark hair that woman is gonna rock the colors gold and green (what i hc to be her siphons colors)

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor. She has such a level-headed persona and has so much courage. Her bravery is her most defining character and her willingness in facing challenges (like still staying at Windhaven when she could easily stay at Windy's) everyday because she will not be broken.

Best Quality: She is always there for her friends and so supportive and didn't try to argue with Nes on Ramiel and did what had to be done.

Worst quality: Not living at Windy's (House of Wind) cuz C'MON MORE VALKYRIE SLEEPOVERS (also that she somehow didn't get Cassian to besmirch her dad's name after all he did. Never RIP u piece of shit)

Ship them with: MOR. Need i say more? (Chess aesthetic)

Brotp them with: Elain (gardening buddies) and Cassian (more like a teasing about sex life and making innenduos with him)

Needs to stay away from: Her goddamn misogynistic a**hole family.

Misc. Thoughts: 💕

Azriel (Hi love)

General Opinion: Love them. But want to smack some sense in their head. Its no problem Gwyn will do it for me.

Hotness Level: 10/10 would bang! That hair, muscles, shadows, face and hands? Sign me up🤤

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw. That guy is so goddamn good at strategising and implementing plans. He has a whole facade prepared, a mask, and he's the spymaster. He reasons out the factors in his life and tries to insert logic in it which is what he's doing with his love life too (we play the choice by elimination game in MCQ questions Az not for who we kiss). He makes people feel at ease with very structured movements and has very loud thoughts. Plus he's a nerd too.

Best quality: He will do what needs to be done but that he tries to do his best to make people around him feel at ease.

Worst quality: Darling you're bordering on possessive and nobody likes that. Don't speak for a girl no matter how good your intentions are.

Ship them with: Gwyn. Gwyn. Gwyn. Gwyn. I love me some Gwynriel.

Brotp them with: RHYSAND AND CASS THE BAT BOIS. I could write paragraphs abt those three. But other than those the rest of the IC (except Elain what can i say I don't vibe with her right now)

Needs to stay away from: Lucien. I swear to god he has been nothing but respectful to you. Till you can behave the same way stay away.

Misc. Thoughts: I don't think he's toxic or controlling or whatever. He seems like a perfect multidimensional character with realistic thoughts and feelings that are bordering on that but are not that.

[starkovsnesta]

It's like the fire (replaced all the love)

Summary: "When they crumble, they're not facing each other. Both of them have their gaze set ahead. The hands they have placed on the couch are mere centimeters away, not touching. There's silence in the room. None of them talks for a long time. Even in these circumstances, stubbornness and pride triumphs over their hearts. And maybe the way they break apart should be an indication on how they weren't really meant to be together, Nesta thinks."

Relationship: Nesta Archeron/Cassian

Tags: Angst, Break Up, Healing

Chapter 1 - such a burden, this flame on my chest

read on ao3

When they crumble, they're not facing each other. Both of them have their gaze set ahead. The hands they have placed on the couch are mere centimeters away, not touching. There's silence in the room. None of them talks for a long time. Even in these circumstances, stubbornness and pride triumphs over their hearts. And maybe the way they break apart should be an indication on how they weren't really meant to be together, Nesta thinks. 

She hears Cassian mumbling a curse and she feels his head turning towards her. 

"You promised you'd stop drinking" he whispers. 

And because Nesta always let's her rage talk in her place, she replies "and you promised you wouldn't hurt me". 

It isn't really his fault she is hurt, she knows. He has done nothing wrong. 

It all happened hours before. They were at some party. His friends were there, her sisters were there. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. But not Nesta. She had woken up without energy that morning. It was nothing new, but it pissed her off. She had gone to work, not talking to anyone. Cassian had sent some messages, he had even called. But she had ignored him. She wasn't mad at him, she just didn't want to talk to him. He would notice something was off, he would get worried and ask if something happened, not believing her when she said she felt that way with no reason. And how could she explain? So she let her phone ring. When she came home, he was there. His face was pale, and he was pacing on her porch. They had a fight. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that Cassian screamed at her, trying to calm down even as she kept ignoring him. They had just be quiet for a moment, and then decided to let it drop to go to a stupid party where Cassian's friends were waiting. 

When they arrived at the club, Nesta just sat down on a table, not interested in having any kind of human interaction. She had come just for him, because she felt guilty about ignoring him and making him worry for the hundredth time. But he didn't sit next to her. 

She had seen him dancing and talking to Morrigan, she had seen him laughing with her. The woman's hand placed on his knee like it belonged there. And maybe because she's always been jealous of the bright woman, maybe because she's always felt unworthy of Cassian's love, or maybe because she knows his friends would prefer seeing him with Mor, and they've never been very subtle about it, maybe because of all these reasons, she'd felt hurt. And she started drinking. She knows now it wasn't a smart thing to do, if not for the fact that she received judgemental glances  from those around her, people who feel morally superior to her. Her sisters among them.

Cassian now let's out an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that there's nothing but friendship between me and Mor" he says. He tries to reach for her hand, but she pulls away. 

She knows she's hurting him. 

But she can't stop. She shifts her glacial eyes on him. "I don't believe you". 

The way his eyes close for a brief second, as if to gather some control, make her rage burn. 

When he opens them again, though, there's nothing but resignation. The same feeling that transpires when he murmurs "I love you, Nesta". Softly, as a caress. But it's received as a slap. It's not the first time he's said it. It's the first time she really doesn't know what to do with it. He loves her. But she's still hurt. She's still full of anger, she still has nightmares at night. She still thinks of alcohol and tries to drink herself to death almost every week, consciously or not. She still doesn't know how to love him back, because there isn't much place for love inside of her. There's only fire. She shouldn't have promised to stop drinking, because she knew she couldn't. She only did to make him quiet. She doesn't like when Cassian coddles her. Sometimes his way of caring for her makes her feel more of a broken doll than she already does. 

She comes to a realization, then and there: his love is not the thing she wants the most right now. 

That's why, after not managing to keep a tear from falling on her cheek, she replies "That's not enough". 

And that's how they fall apart. 

--------

They don't really see each other for months. Cassian tells himself that it is a good thing. He needs to move on. But he can't lie to himself too much. 

Not when he drinks almost every night to avoid thinking about her. It's ironic, he reflects, how he reaches for the same destruction that he didn't want her to reach for. Alcohol is the only solution he knows to his problems. He doesn't  talk to his friends about Nesta, and they don't ask questions. He's not sure if they're trying to give him space and time, or if they don't really care about the break up. They have always disliked Nesta, anyway. When they first started dating, his group of friends kept joking about it, like it was some sort of prank he was pulling on them. 

When he said he loved her, Rhysand just burst out laughing, shaking his head in delight. Cassian had decided not to be mad about it. They were his family. He knew they loved him, they were just a little bit overprotective. And Feyre, Rhysand's girlfriend, has never had a good relationship with her eldest sister. Maybe she told him not very pleasant anecdotes about her. Rhysand doesn't like anyone that has ever hurt Feyre. He's protective of her. 

Cassian had justified his behavior over and over. 

They hadn't said anything when he had come to a party hand in hand with Nesta for the first time. She was worried his friends wouldn't like her. She had told him so before coming out of the bathroom, her eyes read and her cheeks wet. "You shouldn't let them see you with me, Cass". But he had hugged her and comforted her, sure that this was just a silly worry and that his friends would support him no matter what. That night, everybody had ignored Nesta. He hadn't missed the glance Mor had sent him, though. As if he had betrayed her. Nesta was too smart to miss it too. 

And now, as things have fallen apart, he is asking himself over and over again: why the hell did he keep trying to unite the two parts? He wanted his friends and family to have second thoughts on Nesta. He wanted them to see her as he did. This spectacular, fierce, fucking complicated woman that had stolen his heart completely. 

Rhys and Azriel always accompany him to clubs now. Standing by his side, trying to joke. He doesn't always listen. Although he pretends he does. He even fakes smiles sometimes. It's only when they suggest he should start seeing another woman that he decides to stop drinking with them. And with time, he even sees them less. It's only when they present themselves at his apartment, asking for an explanation, that he realizes how angry he is at them.

For never supporting him, for always criticizing Nesta, for being happy they are apart, for never helping her. And he is mad at himself too. Especially for the last part.

That's why he explodes in front of them, letting his mouth scream out all the pain he feels inside, while his mind stays unbearably quiet except for a single sentence that keeps being repeated as a chant:

Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. 

---------

November 23

I don't know how to start this. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing to you at all. With how we left things, I guess you wouldn't want to ever hear from me again. And yet, here I am. 

Maybe I'll never send this letter. Or maybe I will and pretend I didn't. That's funny, isn't it? I always face problems in that way. I do things and then ignore them until I forget, or better, until others forget about them. I hope against all hope, cause I know you won't forget the shit I did to you. I know you regret putting up with me. I know you regret knowing me. And loving me. How could you love me? I always ask myself that question, and I guess now I'm asking you too. 

How could you fall in love for a wrecked thing like me? 

Do you remember when we met the first time? I was drunk. Of course. I must have said something rude, I don't remember the details, but I recall how you picked a fight. Because you love to do that. And I remember thinking about you the next day. Like, not in a positive way actually. But I thought about you. Because I couldn't ignore you. 

This is my way of saying that, from the beginning, you made place inside me (yes, I'm serving you a dirty joke on a silver plate, I know).

You're gone now. I mean, not like gone gone. I mean gone from my life, because you're not with me. And I guess, despite everything, I admit I miss it. I miss you. A lot. I'm not good with feelings, but I thought I was getting better while you were next to me. You make me feel safe. And that is what scares me the most, you know? I've never known a safety that would last. All the safe places in my life crumbled like castles of glass, and I guess they made so much noise inside of me that everytime I get near something similar again my first reaction is to cover my ears, not to listen. I run away from good things. You used to tell me that when we fought, do you remember? I think you do. You're right. I do. Because if I don't, the good things will capture me into their grip and I will be so caught up in the trap that I won't notice how it's suffocating me. I do want to be happy. It seems like I don't, but I really do. I just don't know how to be happy without being scared. And you terrify me. You really do. Because, and I think it's safe for me to say it now, you made me taste real happiness for the first time. 

It's a pity I will never deserve you. 

But you will be happy, you will find somebody else, I promise. I just hope you won't be too happy. It sounds selfish. I just mean I wish you won't be too happy to think about me, even if you hate me. I would prefer you'd keep hating me instead of not thinking of me at all. Don't forget me. Because I promise, I will never forget you. 

Yours (in more ways than you know), 

Nesta. 

-----

November 30

Nesta, 

I don't think I could ever forget you. You are like a drug I can't stop myself from taking, even though it hurts me. You hurt me. I won't pretend you didn't. I won't tell you sweet shit and give you my forgiveness or whatever. At least not yet. But I know I fucked up too. Maybe we are just wrong for each other. 

Shit, the mere thought makes me cry. That's also because I'm a little drunk. I miss you like hell. I even miss our fights, although they were so fucked up. We are so fucked up. But I really hoped we could work out either way. I hoped we would overcome these obstacles with our love and other romantic shit like that. I know it's ridiculous now. I won't forget you, Nes. I wish I could. I wish I could say that I'll get over you soon, that I'll be better, that I won't think about you anymore. I can't. I won't. I don't really want to. It's pathetic but this pain I feel is the only connection I have to you now, and I don't want to lose that. 

I love you. In my own fucked up way. And I know you loved me too. You're not good at saying it, or showing it. But I know you did. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. 

Anyways, I hope you'll find a way to happiness one day. I'll be there when you do. 

Yours (but you already know it), 

Cassian. 

[jeannineee]

Hiii

I discovered your blog not long ago and I think I've read everything on it, I loved it all!! Can I ask for a headcanon of what a relationship with the Rhys would be like?

Being in a relationship with Rhysand would include…

a/n: requests are open!!

nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

SFW:

So we all know one of the ways he shows his love is through gift giving

He buys you things ALL THE TIME

Clothes, jewelry, books, perfume, etc.

This man would pay your bills in a heartbeat too, even if you begged him not to.

“Rhysie, I can pay my own rent—“

“So can I. It’s already done.”

He’s very supportive of you with your hobbies, and your career.

Whether you’re in a position of power, or a healer, a baker, or a painter. He’s your biggest cheerleader.

The two of you would def have a lot of conversations about marriage, kids.

He’s fine with or without either. He loves you, and would be happy with whatever you wanted.

He’d probably want you to be High Lady, if the two of you married or were mates, but if you weren’t interested in it, he wouldn’t pressure you.

Loves watching you interact with his family. Cracking jokes with Cas, drinking wine and gossiping with Mor

Is so romantic. Literally worships the ground you walk on. Flowers, candlelit dinners, petals on silk sheets, all of that cheesy shit.

He would do anything for you. Literally anything.

NSFW

Is a VERY giving lover.

Will make you orgasm multiple times before he’s even finished once.

Jokes that he could spend the rest of his life with his tongue between your legs. He gets drunk on your taste.

Speaking of!! When he’s giving you head, he uses his daemati abilities to speak in your mind.

“I wish you could see how divine you look right now.”

“Come on my tongue, darling.”

Since we’re on the topic of his abilities as a daemati, he’ll send you images of him fucking you at the worst times, during dinner with friends, or at meetings, just to see you squirm.

“Look at how well you take my cock.”

“So pretty when you come for me.”

^^^^^ KING of dirty talk and praise.

Is normally fairly dominant, but once he’s gotten more comfortable with you, he’ll occasionally be more submissive.

Touch his wings, and he’ll be putty in your hands.

Definitely has a slight breeding kink, and enjoys light bondage.

Will tie you up and tease you RELENTLESSLY.

But he’s happy to let you do the same as payback

[ratabrasileira]

Are we talking about cats or a baby?

One-Shot

Trigger Warning: None

Disclaimer: Characters belongs to Sarah J. Maas.

Summary: When Helion appears with two kittens in their house, Rhysand doesn't receive it very well.

Notes: It was inspired on my dad's relationship with our cat kkkkkkkk. Enjoy the reading!!

“You did what?!” Rhysand exclaimed in the middle of the living room.

The sun was almost hiding itself behind the trees, some of its rays still could pass through the leaves and hit right in the big windows of the room where Rhysand was trying to not scream. Inside, the ambient was so comfy and cozy that whoever had picked the furniture made it with an excellent taste.

“But, baby, they were alone and sad. Tell me, how could I let them alone in this freezing cold?” Helion rebated, holding two little forms in his big arms.

“What cold, Helion, we’re in spring!” Rhys looked flatly to his boyfriend, who was visibly trying to not laugh. Helion knew how Rhys would react to this, although he also knew how he would like them.

Them was; two beautiful and cute kittens that Helion somehow found when he was picking some plants to his experiment. The littler one had a black fur and deep-blue eyes. When Helion putted his eyes on the little creature he could not to let to remember about his lover. The other, Helion thought to be a male, had a white fur, but with some black spots here and there. Helion thought them to be the cutest thing in the world. Of course, right after his boyfriend sleeping opened-mouth.

“I know we are in spring, my moonlight, but they’re babies and babies need home and some parental figure, if not they’ll be cold!” Helion said before heading to the couch where he left the two little cats with a blanket around them. “You’re an example of that with that father of yours— Oh, look! Look how cute they are!! I think I’ll name the black one as Rhysie.”

“Wait— What? You can’t. You won’t —Helion?!” But Rhys stopped arguing, because his lover was going to the kitchen to pick the bottle of milk that was inside the icebox —a magical device to conserve food. Rhysand was feeling exasperated “Helion, listen to me, god damned!”

Abruptly, Helion turned back to Rhys, who almost collided with him. Helion hold Rhys shoulders and gave him a too-well-known look and a light smile in his face. “Why can’t we have cats, Rhysie?”

“It’s not that we can’t. It’s that you brought two cats here without my opinion!” Rhys contested holding Helion’s shoulders too. They were like that, holding each other’s shoulder, Helion smirking to Rhys and Rhys with furrowed brows to Helion.

“So, it’s ok to have two cute little kitties here!” Helion kissed the tip of Rhysand’s nose before putting milk in a baby bottle that Rhys had no idea where it was from. He got so astonished that, for a second, he forgot what was going on. Helion could be a little… chaotic sometimes.

“Wait!” Rhysand screamed before following his lover. “I didn’t say that—”

“I can’t believe I’m living with someone who doesn’t like animals.” Helion rolled his eyes with exaggerated gestures and sat beside where the cats were cutely snuggled. It made Helion’s heart to warm up a little.

“Of course, I like animals, I’m with you, don’t I?” The joke was awful, Rhysand knew that, but the desire to annoy his lover was bigger. He didn’t mind that Helion hadn’t wanted his opinion anymore.

“Oh, fuck you!” Helion said looking to the cats to ignore Rhys’s face “At least it is better to be an animal with a warm and big heart than a soulless with a questionable character like you!”

“Soulless with a questionable character?” Rhysand laughed. “Love, I thought we had got through that.”

“Well, maybe now you’re showing your true face saying that you don’t want two helpless babies here!” He pointed to the kitties who were now fighting for the baby bottle. He wished he could had found the mother of them, but he searched, searched, searched and didn’t find her. It was the ultimatum to bring those little home.

“I didn’t say that either—” Rhys tried to contest.

“And seriously how can someone like you to be my beloved. I must have a very big heart indeed!”

“Your beloved?” Rhys said slyly behind the couch and putted his arms around Helion’s shoulders.

“Unfortunately!”

“You love me” Rhys whispered, his arms going to Helion’s chest while he let some kisses in his neck. “And I love you” with that, Helion couldn’t handle. Even if it was annoying, he loved when Rhys uses to ignore his drama and distract him with kisses and lovely words.

“Not in front of the kids, Rhys” Helion seriously sighed, but Rhys knew the joke that it was and let loose a light laugh before turning Helion’s face to kiss him, deeply and lovely.

***

It is not like Rhysand doesn’t like animals. He likes it, but far away from him. He has already a lot of things which were more important than to take care of nasty creatures that would only waste his free time. And now, apparently, Helion’s free time too, as it wasn’t enough to reconcile being two heir of different courts.

“Oh, Rhysand, seriously?!” Mor exclaimed, putting her hands in her hips. The tray of tea that she brought was already on the table between him and his brother Cassian. “You’re a soulless with a questionable character, indeed. It’s just a cat and they’re very cute!”

“Mor is right” Cassian said, putting an arm around Mor who have just sat. “They’re kind of cute and it’s not like you’re going to take all the responsibility, Helion will be there to help you”

“Kind of cute? Nah, I remember those cats who used to steal my food, enter in the cabin, sleep on my clothes, which by the way were full of fur. I doubt that they are going to be cute.” Rhys argued. He still remembers the hard time that it was to take off all the little white furs from his black clothes.

“Ok, but are we talking about cats or a baby?” Azriel quietly asked from Rhys’ side. The shadowsinger as always was with his usual semblance, although Rhys could feel the humor leaning on him.

“Don’t compare a baby with a cat!”

“Az is right, you’re taking this too seriously, Rhys. Relax, see how it’s going to work and don’t let the trauma make a bad memory of those lovely animals!” Mor teased with a fake serious expression, getting a laugh from Cass and Azriel.

“Oh, because it wasn’t you how had to take all the pile of fur to look presentable. My clothes were awful in that time”

“Well, that’s why I had a dog, a fox, that couple of mice and an owl... you remember Athena, don’t you?” Mor said, her mind far away.

“I do, she was amazing. May she rest in peace.” Cassian said and made a religious gesture. He and Morrigan used to send letters through Athena to each other, usually silly and dirty letters.

“By the way” Mor kept “When we will meet your babies?”

“Never” Rhys answerd.

But when he got home and saw his lover sleeping faintly in the bed with the two kitties curled on him, Rhys couldn’t think a bad thing about those cute little things, even more because Helion was glowing slightly. The glow that Rhys knew very well that was from a genuine happiness.

Rhys tiptoed to the bed and lied beside Helion’s side and hugged him, trying to not wake up him and the cats. But before Rhys could let a soft kiss on Helion and close his eyes, he silently whispered “I love you”.

Rhysand didn’t see the smile that formed in Helion’s face.

Notes: Any grammar mistake, please call me out!

[hoodwinkd1]

Your Eyes Whispered Ch 16

Ch 15 here.

Here it is! The final chapter!! So much love to all of you that have followed along with this story <3

Chapter 16: you are in love. true love.

Reality hit Eris in the face, harder than any bitch slap.

They hadn’t left his chambers for almost an entire day, legs tangled and words whispered over breakfast, lunch, dinner, and tea. Eris was ready to hand over his title and power for the opportunity to spend the rest of life like that, with no interruptions and no one around except for her.

Unfortunately, leaving the Court in the hands of someone random seemed ethically dubious and potentially problematic. Equally unfortunately, his stubborn mate loved her job and actually cared about her students. For both of these reasons, Eris found himself kissing Rhia goodbye on her doorstep just before midnight.

“Two whole days apart,” she teased, drawing patterns on his tunic with her finger. “How will we ever survive.”

Eris ducked to kiss her head. “You shouldn’t joke. I might die.”

He watched her lean against the door frame, remembering that neither of them had gotten enough sleep last night. “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

“I’d feel much better if you simply moved in,” Eris grumbled. They both froze. “Joking. That was definitely a joke.”

“You shouldn’t joke,” Rhia teased. “I might die. Leave, before I drag you upstairs and lock you in my room.”

Eris pouted. “Don’t threaten me with a good time. Good night.”

They exchanged one last kiss, so sweet and gentle that Eris’ heart broke and mended itself as their lips parted.

Although her absence ached, Eris had to admit that a full night of sleep called to him as soon as he winnowed back into his chambers. Rhia brought out so many wonderful qualities in him, but falling asleep during one of the countless meetings tomorrow might not reflect well on his leadership potential.

----

Water dripped from her hair, sliding down between her shoulder blades. Rhia knew she should grab her hair oils, knew she should comb out some of the remaining tangles, or she would regret it in a few hours. But his scent teased her, pulling her from the bathroom and into her bedroom.

Strange how she thought the days apart would drag on forever. She felt like it had only been a moment as her eyes scanned his body, hands behind his head and long legs draped across her bed.

“Take your time, love,” Eris smirked.

Rhia snapped her gaze back to his face. “What?”

Eris moved in a way that heated her blood. He sat up, arms coming down to cross his chest. His eyes flashed in a way that screamed predator, but for once, she was completely fine with being prey. “Stare at me for as a long as you want. I’ll wait patiently for you to finish.”

“Cheeky,” Rhia replied, a flush blooming from her cheeks and down her neck. She had never been more grateful for her dark skin, hiding the pink tinge that would have jumped out on a face as pale as her beloved’s. “You speak of patience; I’ll just have to test that out.”

She loosened her grip on the towel, letting it fall to the floor.

His reaction did not disappoint. She watched his pupils dilate as his eyes narrowed. Rhia bit her lip at how his pulse raced, one vein in his neck standing out in the most tempting manner.

“Stare as long as you wish.” Rhia took two steps backward, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. “I’ll wait.”

She turned around, making sure he wasn’t deprived of any view, before stepping fully into the bathroom and reaching above the sink for her favorite, lavender scented oil. As her body stretched, she counted to five in her head.

Rhia didn’t even get to three. Eris launched himself from the bed, appearing behind her so quickly she let out a giggle. He caught her eye in the mirror and raised an eyebrow. She took it for the question it was, giving him a quick nod and leaning back into his warmth. There was something so infuriatingly dirty about the feel of his soft pajamas against her naked skin.

Eris raised his hands slowly, letting them drift up and down her sides, raising goosebumps and her heartbeat. At the same time, he dropped his head to press light kisses to her neck, her shoulder, her spine, a million small points on her body.

Rhia set down the bottle of oil preemptively, knowing she was about one kiss from smashing it on the ground in a fit of passion.

“Hold on,” he murmured against her skin. “We can’t have your hair drying out tomorrow, can we?” He snatched it from her, pouring a small amount into his palm.

She groaned at the feeling of his hands in her hair. While his talented fingers felt like heaven, she really would prefer to feel them somewhere else.

“Oh? And where would that be?” Eris asked. She flushed again, realizing she’d spoken out loud. “Tell me what you want.”

Of course Eris was a talker in bed. He never managed to shut up normally, so Rhia should have seen this coming.

She turned in his arms, running her hands up his chest. Letting her lower back rest against the sink, she looked at him and tilted her head to the side in a silent challenge. “Touch me.”

Eris leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. “I am touching you.” His left hand drifted from her side to her stomach, tracing circles that never landed where she wanted him. “You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

She sighed against his mouth, savoring the warmth and safety of this moment. There was no fear, no bad memories, nothing dragging her from pleasure. “Lower.”

He complied, circling down to her hips, running his knuckles against them. “Good?”

She was good. Surprisingly good.

Suspiciously good.

“Yes.” She kissed his shoulder, right below his neck. His shirt would have to go soon. “Keep going.”

He moved his hand and ---

Rhia shot up, clutching the sheets around her. No longer in the bathroom, but back in her bed where she’d fallen asleep.

A fucking wet dream. Cauldron, Eris found new ways to make her feel like an adolescent even when he wasn’t around. And now she had to go through the next day and a half thinking about him, missing him even more than before.

-----

“Fuck,” Eris cursed, jumping out of bed and running into his closet. “Fuckity, fucking fuck.”

He was running late. So late that he would have no time to plan out his outfit, brush his hair, eat some damn breakfast, or shower. And as much as he wanted to do all those things, he actually needed that shower right now.

Preferably a cold one.

While he usually prided himself on his body’s exceptionally accurate clock, rarely relying on alarms or servants to wake up on time, his stupid brain had kept him unconscious this morning. All because of a stupid dream.

“You’re a dirty pervert,” Eris growled to himself, grabbing a boring black suit that felt like something Rhysand would wear. Thinking of the Night Court calmed down his burning desire, at least for the moment.

His imagination had played a glorious scene for him, ending with him taking Rhia on the large countertop in his bathroom. Eris shoved the image of her out of his head, head back against the mirror as her back arched towards him, scrambling for some semblance of control as he stalked to his first meeting.

He’d dealt with frustration before, but nothing comparable to this. Eris hadn’t wanted to think about her in that way since their night together. She had set a clear boundary, one that he would never dream of crossing, even in his own head.

Except he literally did dream of crossing it. Eris snarled under his breath as he strode into the chamber, covering up his shame and anger with a mask of disdain. The group of merchants waiting for his arrival had done nothing to earn his ire yet, but the elitist males certainly deserved it.

“My Lord.” One of the eldest Fae at the table, Cephalus, greeted him as the rest of the guests stood and bowed quickly. “I hope you can forgive us for beginning the meal without you.”

Eris couldn’t have cared less about breakfast. “Fine. What business?”

Cephalus waited until Eris sat at the head of the table. “We’ve completed an inventory of the remaining, undamaged farmlands across the territory. While the designated areas for livestock and wheat can produce sufficient levels of product, we have sustained heavy losses in the Eastern regions by the coast.” He paused for a moment.

“Must I sit through an agricultural lesson?” Eris snarked, summoning a mug of coffee. “Get to the point.”

The old Fae held his tongue, although irritation danced across his face. Cephalus nodded to the male sitting directly on his right, someone Eris had never had the displeasure of meeting.

“We’ve created a list of produce that will be affected,” the stranger continued, his voice pitchy with nerves. “As well as other areas that might work as replacements while farmers heal the land.” He held up a long roll of parchment, eyes downcast.

Eris snatched it from him. His eyes scanned the list quickly, groaning internally. Based on the mention of grapes and barley, most of his favorite alcohols were in danger of becoming rare commodities.  “Have you spoken with anyone from these towns? Or my Treasury?”

Cephalus leaned forward. “The Treasury has sent over some preliminary budgets that you may review, but I believe are reasonable.” He paused then, tilting his head. “What would we need to speak to the towns about?”

“Taking over their land.” Eris sipped his coffee. Lukewarm. He sent a shiver of flame across the ceramic. “Have you even checked if the land is available?”

The male from earlier finally looked Eris in the eye. “We already checked for any buildings or development. The land is clear.”

He’d heard enough. These merchants were either stupid or simply had their heads shoved up their asses. “Let me rephrase. Until you have explicit permission from the members of the town to use their land and a fair agreement that reinvests profits into whatever they desire, you may not move forward with agricultural efforts.”

Cephalus cleared his throat. “If I may, that process might take too long. The land is currently serving no purpose and--”

Eris held a hand up. “I didn’t ask. Nothing on this list is essential enough to warrant stealing. If you’re worried about timing, make the agreements extremely favorable to the people living there.”

He grabbed the second list, the one with the list of towns, and held it up to the group. “Surely between the seven of you, someone must have travelled to each of these places before. Go back, or invite a representative to meet here.”

The male from before failed to hide his displeasure at Eris’ command, likely anticipating the additional work these negotiations would require. Eris really didn’t care. The merchant class had flourished under Beron’s rule at the expense of the other Autumn citizens, taking what they pleased and enforcing bullshit agreements that stole resources from small villages.

He finished the meeting after addressing some of the others’ concerns, working on a plan to upgrade the Navy’s presence on the Eastern Coast to protect continental traders from various threats.

Gerwin waited for him in the hall outside. He fell in step as Eris took off towards the training rooms, eager to work off the tension that had been building since the moment he woke up.

“Who was that dark-haired male with Cephalus?” Eris asked.

Gerwin glanced over his shoulder. “Jarod something. He claims his father worked with Beron before dying during Am--, during her reign, as the head of several Royal vineyards. Jyn looked into him and a couple other new faces when they claimed leadership roles.”

“So he’s clean?”

Gerwin snorted. “Would you care either way?”

Eris scowled. “He just pisses me off with his elitism. Probably overly pretentious about wine. too.”

“You’re pretentious about wine,” Gerwin remarked. They’d reached the training ring and began to arm themselves for a proper spar.

Eris chuckled, remembering his conversation with Sofi and Rhia a few weeks ago. “Maybe I’ll test his knowledge.”

“Try him for treason if his wines aren’t up to standard.” Gerwin tossed him a practice blade. “Let’s see how that pretentiousness holds up in battle, huh?”

---

Somehow, Rhia survived another night of scandalous dreams and waking up to a frustratingly empty bed. Her mind and body seemed to be at war with one another, pushing her on a nauseating pendulum between wanting Eris and despising physical touch.

Not all physical touch, though. Really, Rhia just wanted to have him in her arms again. She had called herself all sorts of names, a sap, a clinger, a cliché mate. Sofi had laughed, asking if Rhia would let her cynicism get in the way of her heart.

So although it felt fast and Rhia felt pathetic, she resolved to have a conversation with Eris the moment he arrived in her kitchen that night. The conversation. The moment he arrived.

“I’m moving in.”

She probably should’ve started with “hello”. At her words, Eris’ eyes widened and he coughed on air.

Rhia smiled sheepishly, holding her hand out to take his coat. “Sorry. Hello, how was your day?”

“No, no let’s go back a second,” Eris insisted. “What did you say?”

“Give me your coat and let’s sit like civilized Fae.” Rhia held her hand out further, waiting until he complied.

He watched her hang it up as he sat himself at the table. “Is this a tea or a wine conversation?”

“Wine. Definitely wine.”

Eris magicked a bottle onto the table. “I’ve been told I’m a bit pretentious, but I do believe that tonight deserves an especially good bottle. Now please, put me out of my misery and repeat what you said.”

Rhia scrunched her nose. “I think I’d like to move into the palace. Part time, at first.” She waited for those words to sink in, focusing her gaze on the two glasses filled with red liquid.

“And?” Eris prompted.

“And what? Do you approve?”

He laughed. “Of course I approve. I thought I made it very clear that I’d prefer to never leave your side ever again.” They both took a sip, and he continued. “What changed your mind? Are you sure you want to leave this place?”

“It wouldn’t be permanent, not at first.” Rhia swirled the wine, once, twice. “I wouldn’t do that to my students. But I thought about my life, and I want to do something risky for the first time in awhile.” She looked at him, smiling at how much better she felt simply looking at him. “I want to build a life with you, with your people, in the capital.”

“As much as I love to hear that, the burden shouldn’t be entirely on you,” Eris replied. “Just because I’m High Lord--”

Rhia interrupted. “Yes, it should be. But not because you’re High Lord. Eris, you’ve fought and bled for your role, and I see how hard you work now to make this Court a safer place. I want to do that with you.” Her hands shook with emotion as she reached out to take his. “Whatever reason the Cauldron had, I’d like to believe that it made me your mate to help you. I love this town and these people, but it’s not enough for me, not when I know how much good I can do for thousands of others.”

“This Court doesn’t deserve you.” He squeezed her fingers. “I obviously do not deserve you.”

“Eris--”

He held one finger up. “I’m not stupid. I’ll take all the help I can get, especially if it keeps you in my life. I just- I never imagined we could get here.”

She steadfastly ignored the tears that threatened to show. “And where is here?”

“I have a partner.” The wine lay forgotten as he gripped both her hands. “I never thought you would even consider speaking to me, and now you wish to live with me, work with me.”

“And love you,” she added. “Don’t forget that.”

Tears began to fall on both of their faces, but neither moved to wipe them away, unwilling to let go. The moment seemed to echo, across time and space, putting together all the pieces of their relationship that they had spent so long building. All of the truths, all of the sacrifices, all of the pain lined up to form a picture Rhia could now see, like a painting that only made sense once you took a step backwards.

“I accept the bond. I accept you .”

There was no exchanging of food. There was no shift into primal protectiveness. And there was certainly no lust-driven madness.

But there was a bridge. There were golden strings of light and music and joy that pulled her towards him, a stronger pull than gravity.

Eris let out a sigh and a shudder and a wave of warm emotions that Rhia could taste. “I’m going to kiss you now. And possibly never stop.”

As he shoved his chair out of the way, Rhia stood to meet him. As their lips touched, she opened for him completely.

As the bond permanently snapped into place, she let go of her fears that they would never progress physically and she would always remain broken. None of it mattered, not when the cruelest prince of Autumn found a way to love her so fully.

------

thank you for reading!

tag list: @moonbeamfenrys @qamariana

[illyrian-lover-flower]

What are your top 10 and bottom 10 ACOTAR characters?

Hello sweet anon, I first wanted to thank you so much (you brightened my day with that😊) and before we start I just thought to tell you that this turned out rather long, so I summarized it at the top and put my whole reasons under the cut😄

Positive:

1. Elain/ 2. Azriel/ 3. Nuala & Cerridwen/ 5. Lucien/ 6. Amren/ 7. Alis/ 8. Nesta/ 9. Cassian/ 10. Feyre

Negative:

10. Morrigian/ 9. Graysen/ 8. Rhysand/ 7. Cauldron/ 6. Attor/ 5. Amarantha/ 4. Ianthe/ 3. Luciens Brothers/ 2. Beron Vanserra/ 1. -

+ 1. Elain

Ok, so I just love this female. I love how Elain is not portrayed as the type of woman who does need a weapon to get what she wants. It is true that one might take her outstanding beauty as a weapon (it sure is) but she can achieve a lot of good things by just using her words and charisma, letting peace remain, before one might do the wrong step and start a war.

Elain is in my opinion though not only charismatic, but also really … yeah silent and well behaved. She does not need to be the centre of the party or a conversation, we have learned she enjoys the company of silence too and her language or the way she is, just speaks on another level. One might say she has a stick shoved up her ass, but I don’t think that this is the case, simply bc we have seen Elain act on her own emotions as well, she just seems to prefer to hold up that mask of her human days around her family, she can use curses too and also have dirty thoughts (her reaction to Azriel on solstice (this was no shock, fear or whatever one might claim!)) god forbid!

Something I also love about her is her seer ability, I am most of the time really intrigued by the future, so seeing her look into the still foggy realms of what is to happen, is really interesting.

+ 2. Azriel

This boy just deserves all the love this world has to give! One of the reasons probably bc dark and broody males with a whole wall of mystery build around them are my typ. But no, seriously – I think Az is one of the most misunderstood characters, mostly by his family.

Bc even though he has known the greatest part of his family for 500+ years, no one seems to understand him, his feelings or his wishes (Thank you Rhysand!) as everyone just assumes Azriel is Azriel and is just ok with being where his family is( Obligated to be the fifth wheel for the rest of eternity!😭)

Something which I also think the IC mistakes is his silence. It might seem as if Azriel barely has anything to say, but I guess it is more the other way around, as we have figured out that if he talks it is always well thought with deep meanings, at times even poetic from the bottom of his heart and often used to motivate or encourage someone. I just think he picks his words so carefully bc he is afraid to give away too much of himself and that everything he might say, or every thought he harboured, could be used against him, so that he would be wounded (THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THAT RHYSAND!)

+ 3. Nuala & Cerridwen

I just love both of them, so I was not able to put one of them on a fourth place.

Anyway, Nuala and Cerridwen are two characters who are also majorly underestimated. Those two have a quiet side which makes most  of the people around them forget that they even exist, which is pretty noticeable from Feyres, Rhysands and even Nestas pov (though I am not gonna lean too wide out of the window with her since I haven’t read Acosf yet) Those two could literally plan to overthrow an High Lord and we would only know the moment it is too late,bc everyone seems to forget about their existence. Something I also love about them, is their whole character. We don’t know much about them now, but it already is noticeable that they accept people like they are, for they have no fear of Azriel, nor do they act around Elain as if she were made of glas.

+ 5. Lucien

Lucien is just an innocent bean who deserves all the love in all of Prythian! I might be an Elriel stan, but you might want to address the fact that not even one rooting for Elriel is oblivious to the shit show which took place in Luciens life. Undermined son, lover killed in front of his eyes, abused/used by his best friend and on top of that practically homeless. He knows that he can’t go back to the spring court yet, for things with Tamlin did not yet settle down, he also knows he isn’t also really home at the Night Court and god forbid if he ever thought of entering Autumn again! If it wouldn’t be for the Band of Exils (Thank god they exist) he’d be all lonely and without a roof over his head.

And this is something our sassy, witty fox does not deserve.

+ 6. Amren

Amren is just a character I identify with. She seems like as if she is only caring about her own stuff and only mind her business, while in truth she just doesn’t know how to express the love she feels for her family, as we know from her former past she did not even receive love, and just cares the most about her family.

Something I also love about her is her whole behaviour if one is to doubt her size. In my country I barely scratch the minimum of average height, so a friend of mine likes to make jokes about my size (much like Cassian about Amren), so seeing how she just shows him his place with a glare or some sharp words is just satisfaction to me.

+ 7. Alis

The kindness with which Alis treated Feyre in Acotar just sort of stuck to me and as I did not really find a character in Prythian, who was born there, who had the same kindness as her – she just stayed.

+ 8. Nesta

Nesta is a character I absolutely love, in Acotar I do admit I did not pay that much attention to her or Elain, but I just love how strong minded she is. She had been fighting for her own goal the moment she got spit out of the cauldron and she did not particularly stray from that. I also adore her for her strength – she wouldn’t even have been in the need to learn combat in order to hurt someone, as Nesta just analyses the people around her so much, so that she’ll know exactly what would feel to them like a gut stab.

The fact that Nesta is a huge bookworm and a dreamer in her own way makes her even more awesome.

+ 9. Cassian

Now you can just love this guy! He might have his ups and downs, but in the end he always worked his way out of them. Cassian just has such a big heart, that much like Nesta, he would do anything in order to protect his family and loved ones.

And while he is great to cheer one up, he might not be the brightest candle on the cake, but he would still go to the end of the world if it meant he could fight and protect those he loves. Something I also liked was that he is practically the one who started this whole thing with the females training while Rhysand just let the Illyrians do like they please.

+ 10. Feyre

As the main character we had learned a lot about her and I am happy that she is alive, has her freedom, is in love with her mate, has a child, a loving family and a really high title (*cough* High Lady). But what I think she could have done different was the way of how she treated both, Elain and Nesta, during their traumas.

Even though Nesta might not have shown her trauma that clear in the beginning, she could have still looked over the plates rim once it was almost tearing through one’s ears in a painful scream of help that Nesta was not fine. And judging someone straight out mad or considering it while you yourself have not even a real clue of how this whole Prythian thing works is just a big no-no. Elain doubted herself already enough, Feyres fear that she might have gone mad was not helping the situation.

And well Nestas story is one I can’t particularly dive into yet, but from what I have read (Acofas) she dealt with it the wrong way. It might have been that she and Nesta did not have the best relationship and she might have even wondered if she was entitled to bound with her sister on such a topic, but when Nesta pushed each of them away Feyre should have not moved away from her.

Feyre already did a lot for her, true, but Feyre knew herself how it was to have a trauma and she herself had pushed help, in the first months, away, but however I am overall just happy she got her happy ending.

- 10. Morrigian

I have criticized Morrigian already a lot, but I will just say it again.

First of, I don’t hate her. Morrigian is a character who I think has a lot to tell, as we know she kept the biggest part of herself a secret until now, but I just don’t like how she claims to trust the IC while in truth she refuses to tell them of her sexuality (the thing she seems to be afraid? of the most.)

I know the Azriel pining after her for 500+ years, was a lot of pressure on her back, but she could have also just told him she wasn’t interested or loved females (if she wouldn’t have been fine with telling Rhys). However I think she is going to be one of the more important side characters as I think her situation and everything that follows, pretty much sums up how gays/lesbians and other LGBTQ members feel now a days. And I think her journey is sort of supposed to help to overcome those struggles.

I at least hope she gets her journey.

- 9. Graysen

Graysen was an ass for breaking the engagement of like a toddler, that’s it – end of the song. If he would have told Elain he couldn’t trust her bc she lied to him – ok.

But the tune makes the music! Keep that in mind,Nolan!

- 8. Rhysand

Now Rhysand is to me a character who tip toes on a two sided blade.

I normally do like him, he is kind and caring and no doubt would die for the people he loves, but he has a very, very hard time separating work from private life. The example I’ll go with is the big bad magical solstice. He might have claimed that the kiss between Elain and Az could have invoked a blood duel, if Lucien would have notice, possibly even provoking a war between Night and Autumn (work) but his ulterior motive were Feyre and Nyx, no one blames him for that, but it is a private reason and excuse he should not use while speaking as the High Lord.

And again, when Az starts doubting the Cauldron with choosing the wrong mate for Elain, Rhys assumes it is just lust speaking from Az and commands him as the High Lord to stay away from Elain (low blow of assumption, but not my point) while he then offers to pay for the pleasure halls Azriel could possibly seek out (according to him). With what money would he have paid it, his own (private) while he was speaking as the High Lord, or the exchequer (work)?

You see my point? Anyway Rhys is a loving character, but he is just a bit troubled ruling an entire court (this huge) and having a family to take care of. Perhaps he is having it settled in a few years, but until then we will just have to wait and see.

- 7. Cauldron

I don’t really know if you can call the Cauldron a character, but I just placed it here as I hated how it had humiliated Nesta and Elain.

The bloodshed it caused was also nothing I ever want to mention again.

- 6. Attor

Now just the Rainbow and the attack on Velaris, just this, nu-uh man.

- 5. Amarantha

I hated her for killing innocent fae, enslaving High Lords or in general and setting up ‘riddles’ (games) in which the life of helpless fae was depending on a human who could barely safe herself with a bargain. Something I also kind of take personal is how she treated Jurian, I mean ok – he deserved a punishment, but like setting him in chains and having him barely at the minimum of survival would have been also fine.

- 4. Ianthe

Just the Suriel! This was when I took things personal! (I’ll add an 11 to the list above – I loved the weaver!)

- 3. Luciens Borthers

Luckily, most of those little shits got what they deserve.

I don’t grow up in a family very high in statues, so I don’t know how it is, but no matter if poor or rich – siblings should fight together instead of against each other! And most definitely not kill the female their brother loved!

- 2. Beron Vanssera

I hate him for having hesitated saving Rhys, watching how his sons treated Lucien and how he could possibly let anything as terrifying, as what had happened to Mor, happen. Also – it’s just the way how he treats his wife!

Someone really hadn’t drunken his ‘respectful juice’, for the last fucking Millenia!

- 1. /

I don’t really despise a character entirely, as I know each and every one has a bright and dark side of the coin (Still trying to find the bright side of Luciens father and brothers though)

[missbrightsky]

On My Honor

Fics Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Chapter 11: Rhysand

I had forgotten out good it was to spar with Tamlin. By nature, I was not normally a petty man, but Tamlin practically begged to be put in his place with his horrible attitude. We had joined the army at about the same age and were even friends once. But once we started to rise through the ranks and win glory on the battlefield, he had changed for the worst. He became a man that took and took and took, causing his military career to stall at lieutenant while I continued to rise.

Therefore, anytime I was in his vicinity, I always took the time to remind him why we were where we were today.

Cas had no qualms watching me pummel him. Mor was only against it because if he needed healing afterward, that meant that he would have to spend time in her tent. Az had yet to say anything on the matter. Amren, well… Amren never said no to a little bit of bloodletting.

Even with three days of hard riding, I flew into camp with energy to spare, it practically whining to be used and let out.

It was good to see Cassian’s face again, even though I told him with a teasing tone. It had been a few weeks since I had seen him, but that was at the front, where it was purely for battle planning. Seeing him far from the front, where there wouldn’t be a bloody interruption to our conversations, was a minor blessing.

He looked well, and happy. Or as happy as anyone could be training recruits for the slaughter of the battlefield. It was always a harsh, but necessary, reminder of the weeks ahead. I had told Mor and Az of my suspicion that the end of the war was coming, one way or another. They both absorbed my prediction with quiet, not even thinking to question me. We had all been together so long that they knew how accurate I could be. In lighter times, Mor joked that I should run away from the army and join up with a traveling circus as their oracle.

I would tell Cas later of my suspicion, but first, it was time to kick Tamlin’s ass to the dirt.

I scanned the camp, nodding to two soldiers that lingered on the edge of the main road through it, no doubt wanting to see the general of the army. One was taller with fair skin and hair, the other was on the shorter side, brown hair with streaks of gold was escaping from the bun at the nape of his neck. Both looked to not even be 20 yet, explaining their round features. The shorter one averted his gaze at my nod, causing the corner of my mouth to quirk up. They were probably not used to being acknowledged, more used to being yelled at.

Cassian had called out to two of the recruits, pausing their retreat. As we neared, I could pick out their features more. The shorter one drew my interest. He had blue eyes that looked almost gray in the light with full lips.

Pretty, for a boy.

“General Knight is in the sparring mood, what are the chances that your lieutenant would oblige him?”

“Low, sir, if he hasn’t eaten recently,” the shorter one replied. Pretty with a sense of humor, it seemed. I burst out laughing, something I could rarely do these days. Mor outright cackled at the comment and a glance at Az revealed he had a small smile on his face. I wondered if the soldier knew how rare that smile was and what they had accomplished.

“Perfect, lead the way soldier,” I cursed myself for not knowing their name, but Cas hadn’t specified which was Archeron and which was Haywood. Later, I would have to find out their name later. Instead, I spent the walk quickly catching up with Cas on any updates in training.

A minute or so later, we arrived at where Tamlin was running drills with his recruits. Hand-to-hand, a perfect excuse for me to ask for a sparring match. After convincing him, I turned to Mor. “Hold my jacket and shirt for me, will you? Don’t want to get it dirty.” She rolled her eyes while stifling a laugh.

“Try not to show off too much, we don’t need any lovesick recruits stalking you around the camp. Again.”

“No promises, cousin.” Sure, it was true that I didn’t want to get my general’s jacket and shirt dirty, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to show off a bit. I had to take my chances while I could to feed my ego.

It took all my willpower to not glance at the soldier from before as I walked into the ring, making sure I wanted them to have a good view of the fight. Tamlin entered a second later and we both dropped into defensive stances.

Same ‘ol Tamlin, I noted he moved the exact same way as always, leaving a tiny window open on his right side. He just never learns.

A cock of my head had Tamlin leaping forward, his classic left punch coming for my face. Ah ah ah, I easily blocked and twisted under his blow, countering with my own right hook to his ribs.

Tamlin took the blow and stepped forward with a kick, but as always, his kicks left his face unguarded. Usually on the battlefield, he was too quick for anyone to notice, but years of training let me see each and every weakness. Catching his leg, I used it to spin myself inwards, slamming my elbow into his stomach before snapping it up into his jaw. That move alone would have downed a lesser man. Tamlin just staggered back, ending the swift first round.

Cas called out his jeer, causing Tamlin’s eyes to only unfocus more, becoming almost feral.

This time, I sprung forward first, moving through punches and kicks and blocks like it was easy as breathing. I could have ended the round sooner but where would be the fun in that? Ten minutes seemed a fair amount of time to thoroughly humiliate Tamlin and put on a show for the soldiers. Knowing his teaching tactics, they probably needed the break and morale boost from seeing me kick his ass.

By the end of the fight, a crowd had gathered, shouts nearly drowning out our pants as I finally put Tamlin to the ground and pinned him with a knee.

Because I still needed to play the part of general, I offered him a hand up, which he took and released as soon as he was up.

I turned to where Mor was, spotting the soldier from before. I briefly pinned him with my gaze, holding his stare until he shifted away, his blush deepening. Interesting.

I moved past the soldier, allowing myself one more glance before retrieving my jacket and shirt from Mor.

“Thank you for not pummeling him too much, now I don’t have to watch him sulk in the healers’ tent,” she said as we started to walk away.

“I live to serve, cousin,” giving her a mocking bow that earned another eye roll. Cassian came up behind me, “Good fight! Although I could have done with a little more blood, it’s a good thing Amren wasn’t here or she’d be chewing you out for Tamlin being able to walk away.”

I shook my head at Cas. He was right about Amren not being here, for a lady of Velaris, she was surprisingly bloodthirsty.

Steeling myself for my question, I tried to force a casual tone. “Who were those soldiers from before?” Keeping my face carefully light and my gaze steady ahead.

Thankfully, Cassian was still too focused on the fight to ascertain my motive. “Flynn Archeron was the shorter one and Adam Haywood was the other. They’re both on my archery squad.”

Perfect opportunity, “How’s that going? Are they all getting into shape?” Cas loved to talk about his special projects, and this was an easy way to learn more about Flynn.

After all, I was a general of the army and I needed to keep an eye on all important future plans.

[secretlynestaarcheron]

Ohhh can we please please have nessian getting steamy and being discovered by the inner circle - specifically Amren who teases them endlessly

Unfortunately, I cannot write steamy things for the life of me, but I tried to do my best with the prompt since I thought it was a cute idea.

4 times the Inner Circle spotted Nessian being a couple without them actually being a couple

Feyre walked along the gardens Elain had tirelessly tended to over the years. Her work was breathtaking, Feyre had to admit that her sister had a natural gift for gardening, and deciding where each plant would thrive. She walked through the hedges, her sketchbook in her hand, looking around for some inspiration.

As she turned she spotted in the corner of her eyes a glimpse of black. Upon closer examination she realized it was Nesta. Walking towards her sister she realized that Nesta wasn’t alone.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Nesta taunts, crouching slightly and putting her hands in front of her face as Cassian launches towards her. She easily dodges him. “I swear, maybe you do need to go to the mountains again. All this rich food is making you slow.”

Feyre crouches down behind a hedge, watching as Cassian smiles and laughs. “Trust me, Nesta, there's nothing slow about me,” he retorts, to which she barks out a laugh.

Cocking an eyebrow up she smirks and asks, “Oh really? Nothing slow about you? I am sure some ladies in town could agree with that statement,” she laughs. Feyre smiles down towards her sister. She hadn’t heard her sister laugh in years. Since her father stopped being a father to them.

“That is not what I meant,” he growls playfully, but Feyre can see the slight red appear on his cheeks. “Now get your hands back up before I tackle you. Wouldn’t want to damage that pretty face.”

“Oh, so you think I am pretty,” she hums, but before she can say anything else he tackles her to the ground. She slams down with a loud humph. “Really? Stars, you really are fat.” She says, pushing him off of her but she isn’t trying very hard.

Cassian leans towards her and whispers something in her ear. Feyre can’t hear but based on the blush of her sisters cheeks and the way she pushes him off of her quickly it wasn’t anything to do with training in combat.

~*~

Mor yawns as she walks down the hallway, what better midnight snack than one of Azriel’s famous double chocolate chip cookies. She sneaks down the stairs, wincing at the creaking stars. She hears murmuring down below and the flickering of the candlelight. Peering around the corner she spots Nesta nustled into the corner of the couch, three blankets wrapped around her, a book in her hand. Cassian sprawled across the couch, his head on her lap, his own book in his hand. Nestas free hand was mindlessly running through Cassian’s hair.

Mor smiled at the two, sitting down on the stairs to watch the scene. It was rare when Cassian and Nesta weren’t at each other's throats. The only noise was the candle fire crackling and the flipping of pages.

“Nesta,” he murmurs, “Remind me never to switch books with you ever again.”

Nesta laughs softly, “Oh? Why? I for one am enjoying the battles of Prythian.” she pauses, and looks down at Cassian. “I think you’ve learned you actually love romances and your masculinity can’t handle the truth.”

He barks out a laugh and she shushes him quickly, “I am quite okay with my masculinity,” he reponses, his voice low, “but, she died. You made me read this novel, follow their story, just for her to die?”

She smiles, “You should read the one I finished this morning. It tears your heart out and stomps on it,” she muses, turning the page.

He shakes his head, “I don’t know how you do it,” he responses, “I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. The more I think about it the more emotion I start feeling.”

“Welcome to the world of reading,” she hums, running her hand through his hair again, as he wraps arm around her extended leg and scoots deeper into her side.

“Read to me?” he whispers.

Nesta rolls her eyes, but begins reading aloud. He sets his head back down and closes his eyes, a faint smile on his face. Mor smiles at the scene before her, she quietly goes back up the stairs. She could get some cookies tomorrow.   

~*~

Elain walks towards the kitchen when she hears Nesta snap, “I am really not in the mood,” and then the back door slam shut. As she makes her way through the door, she spots Cassian, her sisters boyfriend (despite them both denying it constantly) leaning against the counter.

“Hey Elain,” he says in greeting, his tone not as friendly as it usually is. He runs a hand through his wild curly hair, “Your sister is going to be the death of me.”

Elain smiles, patting his arm comfortingly as she moves towards the fridge. “She is a piece of work, but she means well,” she responds softly, “She’s probably just upset about today.”

Cassian looks over at her, his eyebrows scrunched in concern. “What happened today?”

Elain sighs, Nesta didn’t tell him. She thought her sister was getting better about opening up but I guess there was still some things she didn’t want to tell him. “It’s the anniversary of our mothers death. It always hits her the most since she was the only one old enough to remember her,” she says, handing him a bag of Nesta’s favorite chocolates. “Go talk to her. She’ll say she wants to be alone but she doesn’t.”

“Thanks Elain,” he says, taking the chocolates from her and running out back. Elain grabs her own snack and makes her way up to her room. Hours later, she glances out her window to see them sitting in the back door by the flower arch. Nesta had obviously been crying, she says something to him. He lifts a hand wiping a tear from her face as he responds. She laughs, putting her head on his shoulder as he puts her arm around her. Elain smiled at the two, she was happy her sister found someone that was willing to break down the walls.

~*~

Amren rolled her eyes when she heard Nesta high pitch squeal. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard the uptight stoic girl let out a noise like that before. “Cassian, stop it,” Nesta laughs loudly, “We won’t have any for the actual cake if you keep throwing it on me.”

Amren looks up from her seat at the dining room table, to see Nesta face covered in flour. “Already flying the white flag?” Cassian smirks, “I’d never seen you turn down a fight before, Nessie.”

“How many times have I told you to stop calling me Nessie,” Nesta replies, scooping up some of the cake batter and turns around flinging it at Cassian's face. It hits him in the cheek and slides down his face.

He laughs, “Wow, straight to the face,” he exclaims, shocked, placing a hand on his heart. “It’s on, Nesta Archeron, it’s so on.”

Amren sits back, pulling out her phone to send a video to the Inner Circle ( minus Cassian and Nesta which they named “Third Wheeling w/ Nessian” to which they all shared moments they were forced to third wheel with Nessian.)

Rhysand: That’s my kitchen. What are they doing to my kitchen.

Feyre: Is that my birthday cake they're ruining?

Cassian grunts, and Amren looks up to see Cassian on the floor groaning. “That was dirty, Nes, I never knew you played that way,” he moans, sitting up and glaring up at Nesta who was trying not to laugh.

“I didn’t throw butter on the floor, I think you did that when I cracked an egg on your head,” she says, reaching out the help him up. He pulls her down on top of him and she shoves him laughing. “Gross, you’re actually the worst.”

Amren snaps another picture, typing into the group chat, as they make their way upstairs joking and laughing loudly.

Rhysand: They better clean that all up.

Rhysand: And bleach my floor.

Send me prompts

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {12}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Isn’t it uncomfortable being in that weird awkward angsty fluff phase of the story

Comment to tell me what you think, or to be tagged! x

“Angry people are not always wise.” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice 

Rhysand walked through the front door of their apartment, Feyre right behind.

“Get in bed,” she said, shutting the door behind him. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

Rhysand didn’t have the energy to protest. Instead, he slumped through the hall until he reached his bedroom and slowly lowered himself onto his mattress. 

Every movement brought a stabbing pain, dominantly in his ribs. In his shoes and all, wearing everything he had been taken to the hospital in the night before, Rhysand laid back against his pillows. 

He could hear Feyre poking about in the kitchen. She hadn’t been the same after what she had confessed the night before. Now he’s using you to prove that even though I left him...he can still control me. It’s all my fault. No matter how much he tried to convince her otherwise, she wouldn’t budge. 

She came into his room a minute later with a sandwich and a glass of water. She saw him lying pathetically on his bed, dressed in his filthy clothes, and smiled softly.

He loved that smile. 

“Maybe you should get yourself cleaned up,” she said, setting the plate on his nightstand. “After you eat, so you can take your pain meds.”

“I don’t need them,” Rhysand said, grabbing his sandwich off the plate and taking a bite, still laying down. 

Feyre rolled her eyes. “Stubborn ass. They’ll help.”

Shaking his head, Rhysand said, “I’m fine, really.”

“I could hear you cringing while you laid down from all the way in the kitchen,” Feyre shot back.

Rhysand said nothing.

He took another bite of his sandwich. 

“Listen to your woman,” Feyre said, stalking out of his bedroom and into the bathroom. He could hear the water running, filling up the tub, as he finished off his pb&j. When Feyre came back, Rhysand was drifting into sleep. “No, no. Bathe first. You stink and you’ve got blood everywhere.”

With a groan, Rhysand sat up and lifted his shirt over his head. Feyre must’ve seen the pain in his expression, no matter how much he tried to ignore it, because she was sitting on his bed, helping him take off his shoes, then his socks. Rhysand stood and unbuttoned his jeans as he walked toward the bathroom.

“You going to give me a sponge bath, Nurse Feyre?” he asked.

Feyre laughed from behind him. “Maybe. I even put bubbles in it for you.”

Rhysand grinned. “Now you’re just spoiling me.”

Kicking off his jeans, Rhysand slid into the bath, down into the steaming, bubbly water. He sighed, leaning back. 

Feyre sat next to the bath as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Come in with me,” he muttered.

“You’re in no condition for that,” Feyre mumbled, but he could tell she was smiling. 

Rhysand opened one eye and looked at her. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

With a look that said he was full of shit, Feyre slid off her dirty clothes and stepped into the tub. She sat on his lap, cautiously straddling his waist. Her fingers, softly and slowly, slid down his chest. With his eyes closed, and his hands resting on her ass, Feyre took a cloth and soaked it in soap and warm water before bringing it to his face. She dabbed above his split lip, erasing the dried blood, then moved to his neck, around his scratch, where Eris had pressed the blade into his skin. Once free of blood, she ran the cloth over his chest, his arms, his abdomen, being extra cautious around his broken ribs.

“Lower,” Rhysand begged, and Feyre’s body shook above him.

“You said you’d be good,” she laughed, quietly, dropping the rag in the water.

Rhysand sighed. “I lied.”

She was shaking her head when he opened his eyes. Beautiful, with her hair hanging around her shoulders, her lips parted, eyes watching her own slender fingers draw circles against Rhysand’s chest. 

“I love you,” he breathed.

Feyre’s head shook, slowly, gray-blue eyes growing weary. “You love me too much.” 

“Not possible,” he said, taking her hands from his chest and interlacing his fingers in hers. “I am so in love with you, Feyre.”

She smiled, but her eyes welled up with tears. “Rhys-”

“I love you,” he repeated, holding onto her hands. “I love you.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “I love you, too.”

With a heavy heart, he wiped that tear away, unable to say anything more. He knew she felt guilty, and he also knew that no matter what he said or did, she would continue to feel guilty. It was who she was. She couldn’t help it. 

He pulled her into him, even though she protested, at first. Eventually, she reluctantly obeyed, but the moment her head was lying on his shoulder, her hand lying on his chest, she melted into him. 

They laid like that for a long while, and they had remained silent for so long that Rhysand didn’t realize that Feyre had fallen asleep until the water started to get cold. He shook her body, gently, and when her eyes opened, he suggested, “Bed?”

She nodded, pulled the plug, and got out. He followed, and she wrapped a towel around his waist before drying herself off and following him back to his room, where they laid together, naked, beneath the sheets, clinging to one another as they fell asleep. 

~~~~~

Azriel woke up to the early morning sun peeking in through his blinds. He stayed perfectly still, though, because Elain was sound asleep, cheek resting against his chest.

But he really had to piss.

Slowly, he thought to himself, as he pulled himself out from under her. He let her down, almost as smoothly as he had hoped, but either way, she stayed asleep as Azriel scooted off the edge of his bed and tip-toed quietly to the door. He begged it not to creak as he opened it, slipped out, and shut it with a soft click behind him.

In the hallway, he finally let out a breath as he closed himself inside of the bathroom. In the mirror, his hair was a mess, his eyes still blurred, trying to wake up.

While relieving himself, a loud knock came on the door, making him jump.

“I HAVE TO PEEEEEEE!”

Azriel snorted. “Almost done, Mila.”

“Hurry up!” she cried. “Uuuuuuuuuugh.”

He opened the door and was met with a tiny human, eyes narrowed, hands on her hips, auburn hair in absolute chaos. 

She pushed her uncle out of the way and hurried to the toilet. Azriel cracked the door, giving her privacy. 

“Hungry?” he asked, through the crack.

“Yes,” she said, sighing. “I want pancakes.”

“Of course,” Azriel muttered, heading back down the hallway, toward the kitchen, where Mor was sitting at the table, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Her brows rose. “My back is killing me. There’s a reason I sleep on the couch. Which, I noticed this morning, my dear Azriel, is empty.”

Azriel gave her a look before opening the pantry and pulling out a box of pancake mix.

“Not to pry,” Mor went on, “but when I went to sleep last night, I had offered the couch to Elain, where I know, for a fact, she fell asleep.” 

Azriel didn’t give into her interrogation. “Talk to Rhys this morning?”

“Yes,” Mor sighed, “he called on his way home from the hospital a little while ago. He claims he’s perfectly fine.”

“Of course he does,” Azriel murmured, making a note to call Feyre later to see how he’s really doing. 

“Are you really going to make me ask if Elain is in your bed?” Mor asked, setting down her mug, forcibly, on the table.

Silently, Azriel opened the cabinet and pulled out a bowl. “I would never.”

“Azriel,” she begged.

Azriel laughed. “You can’t stand not knowing shit, can you?”

When he looked over his shoulder, it was written all over her face: no, she couldn’t. 

Shaking his head, Azriel turned back around and found a measuring cup. “Yes, she’s in my bed. No, nothing...happened.”

Mor was instantly on her feet. “You hesitated. You definitely hesitated.” 

She threw open the fridge, grabbed the milk, and met him at the counter.

“I hesitate a lot,” Azriel said, opening the box of pancake mix. “People typically don’t read into it.”

“I’m not people,” Mor said, opening the milk and measuring it out before pouring it into the bowl. “I’m your best friend.”

Azriel glanced at her through his side eye before shaking his head. “I don’t know. We kissed, and we…..cuddled, and it was nice.”

Mor’s smile widened. “Azriel just said cuddle. How sweet.”

Azriel jabbed her in the ribs with his elbow before pouring the mix into the bowl.

Looking his direction, Mor’s smile softened. “Jokes aside, I do think it’s sweet. I like Elain. She’s kind and gentle. The complete opposite of you, and opposites attract.”

Azriel lifted a brow as he pulled out a whisk and pointed it at Mor. “Are you saying that I’m not gentle?”

Mor cackled. “Have you met you? Gentler than Cassian, maybe, but that’s not saying much. No, Az, my love, you are not what I consider to be gentle. Unless it’s with Mila, but everyone’s gentle with that little princess.” 

“Speaking of,” Azriel mumbled, hearing her run down the hall.

Mila came around the corner, bouncing up and down. “Pancakes! And chocolate milk, please.”

“Ah, getting sugared up first thing in the morning,” Azriel laughed, and caught his niece as she jumped into his arms. She climbed onto his back and held him around his neck. “I suppose since it’s Saturday, it’s okay.” 

“Yay!” she yelled, right into his ear. 

Azriel mixed what was in the bowl together as Mila jumped from Azriel’s back into Mor’s arms, who carried her to the couch to watch cartoons, just as Azriel’s bedroom door opened. 

As Elain came around the corner, her cheeks were pink.

Even having just awoken, Azriel was blown away by her beauty.

“Hi,” she said, quietly.

“Hi,” Azriel replied, biting down on his lip to suppress his smile. “You like pancakes?”

Elain hesitated. “Everyone likes pancakes.” 

“Well, you’re in luck, then, because I make phenomenal pancakes….that come from a box.”

Elain laughed, and Azriel noticed Mor peeking over her shoulder at the two of them. 

Mila, just now realizing there was another person in the room, jumped up on the couch. “Lain!”

Elain smiled, brightly. “Good morning.”

“Why are you here?” she asked, still excited, but slightly confused.

A soft laugh tumbled out of Elain as she hesitated. “I...couldn’t wait until later to come see you, so I came a little early.”

“Yay!” Mila yelled, sitting back down beside Mor. “Come on, Lain, we’re watching Looney Tunes.” 

“Looney Tunes still comes on?” Azriel muttered.

“Of course,” Mor called, as Elain joined the girls on the couch. “It’s a classic, Saturday mornings wouldn’t be the same without it.” 

Shaking his head, every woman in the house abandoning him, Azriel made pancakes.

And then the four of them sat down at the table and ate, together, laughing over the sugary breakfast of pancakes with syrup and whipped cream, and chocolate milk. 

Azriel kept catching Elain’s eyes, and all he could think about was the sweet taste of her lips the night before, and how he couldn’t wait to taste them, again. 

~~~~~

The deep blue waters of the Sidra were sparkling as Cassian ran along it in the early morning heat, Bryaxis beside him on his leash, tongue hanging out as he jogged alongside his master.

He didn’t sleep at all, between what happened to Rhys and how he left things with Nesta.

Rhysand could take care of himself, Cassian knew that, but he couldn’t stop his anger. He knew it was a problem, that anger, knew it had often gotten him in trouble in the past, but it was stuck, simmering in the pit of his stomach, making his mind wander and, agonizingly enough, be alert at all times.

As for Nesta, he walked her up to her apartment after Azriel had dropped them off in the middle of the night. They walked in silence until they stood in the space between their doors. Hours before, they were fucking in his office, but before they parted, they just stared at each other awkwardly before saying goodnight.

Maybe it was because they were exhausted.

Or, maybe it was because she regretted it.

Or, even worse, maybe he was overthinking it, which was always a possibility. 

He almost texted her before he left for his run, but he decided against it, assuming he would run into her at some point during the day. 

Hoping to take his mind off everything, he leashed Bryaxis up and took to the riverwalk. It didn’t work, it only made him a little more tired and way more sweaty. 

By the time they reached the little park along the river, in front of the heart of the city, Cassian was exhausted. He must have run at least four miles without even realizing it, although the moment he started to slow down, he was definitely feeling it. 

He walked a little bit before sitting in the grass with Bryaxis and stretching out his long legs. 

“Good boy, Ax,” he mumbled, as the golden retriever laid down next to him. 

And then Cassian caught him, bright red hair, tall frame, jogging toward him.

Eris Vanserra.

Cassian’s blood turned cold. 

He was instantly rising to his feet, whistling for Bryaxis to follow. He did, the good boy he was. Cassian stormed in Eris’ direction, and by the time Eris saw him coming, it was too late for him to turn around. Cassian dropped Bryaxis’ leash, demanding he sit as he came upon Eris and tackled him against the sidewalk. Their skin scraped, blood instantly drawn.

Eris’ eyes blazed as his back hit the pavement. “What the fuck, Nazari?”

But Cassian had his hand against Eris’ throat as he pinned him to the ground. “Stay away from my family.”

Eris pushed back, not the scrawny kid he’d been in high school, anymore. He rolled Cassian over into the grass, his fist hitting Cassian in the jaw. Cassian spat up at him, saliva and blood tainting Eris’ light tanktop. 

To Eris’ surprise, Cassian grinned. Little did Eris know that Cassian thrived on confrontation, thrived on steady competition, thrived on the idea of giving Eris what he gave to Rhys.

They tumbled around in the grass, fists flying, ignoring the cries and glares they got from the few early morning riders that were around.

“Fuck you, Nazari,” Eris spat, elbowing Cassian in the jaw.

Cassian was quick though. He’d been in enough fights throughout his lifetime to make split decisions amidst the chaos. All the anger he had been feeling flooded him, ignited him. He pinned Eris to the ground, pinning him down with his knees as he landed a blow to his eye, another to his cheek, another, another, another, until someone was pulling him off- two someones. 

Eris laid in the grass, hands covering his bloodied face.

“Stay away,” Cassian warned again, spitting in the grass. He shook the joggers, who had pulled him away, off of him and whistled for Bryaxis. 

The pup came running.

Eris was on his feet, blood flowing from his nose. “You just made a huge mistake.”

“Fuck off, Vanserra,” he spat, taking Bryaxis’ leash.

The runners who had pulled Cassian off of Eris were standing between them now, but Cassian stayed, staring Eris down until his message was clear.

Stay away from my family.

Eris shook his head and turned away, walking back the way he had come.

Cassian waited until he was further down the walk until he turned around, too, heading back toward his apartment.

Bryaxis whined, looking up at Cassian.

“I’m okay,” Cassian reassured him, patting him on the head as they walked, along the Sidra.

By the time they reached the apartment complex, Cassian was about to fall over. Blood trickled down to the collar of his t-shirt.

He stomped up the concrete stairs, Bryaxis at his heels, worrying about his dad.

When Cassian reached the second floor landing, Nesta had just stepped out of her door.

She took one look at Cassian and cursed. “What the hell happened to you?”

Cassian shook his head, but Nesta stepped in front of him, blocking him from going into his apartment.

Reluctantly, Cassian stopped.

“I asked you a question,” Nesta hissed.

Cassian met her gaze. “Ran into Eris Vanserra.”

Nesta stilled, then took him by the elbow and pulled him into her apartment. 

“Sit,” she demanded.

Cassian didn’t see a point in fighting it.

He sat on her couch, Bryaxis lying at his feet.

She stomped into the kitchen and soaked a rag with cool water before meeting him on the couch. She sat beside him and pulled his chin toward her. Gently, Nesta wiped the blood from his face. 

“He got you good,” she muttered. 

“He looks worse,” Cassian muttered back.

“Not that point,” she said, adding more pressure as she wiped the blood from his lip.

Cassian hissed.

Nesta didn’t care.

“Be still,” she ordered.

“Then be gentle,” he snapped.

Nesta rolled her eyes as she continued to clean him up. Once she wiped him off, she pulled out some ointment and rubbed it on the parts of him that were split open.

“Violence often makes things worse, you know,” Nesta said, screwing the top back on the tube of the ointment. 

Cassian grunted, watching her walk back into the kitchen to wash her hands. “Going to scold me?”

“No,” Nesta said, drying off her hands, “but I’ll tell you it was stupid, because even you know it was.”

He did, he was grateful that no cops were around, but he couldn’t help it, not after what Eris and Tamlin had done.

“They can’t just get away with doing bad shit,” Cassian mumbled.

Nesta sat on the couch next to him, dressed in her running clothes. He assumed he caught her just before she left, herself, for the walk along the Sidra. 

Nesta didn’t disagree, but she said, “Just don’t do anything stupid.” Then, she added, “Again.”

Cassian looked at her, leaning his head back against the couch. “Holy shit. Nesta Archeron cares about me.” 

Nesta stilled. “No, I don’t.”

But Cassian was grinning. “Yes, you do.”

With narrowed eyes, she jabbed him beneath his eye, where a blue bruise was forming.

“Ow,” he laughed, pushing her back.

Even Nesta couldn’t help but smile as he crawled on top of her and pinned her down.

“Mean,” he muttered, and her eyes lit up. “Cruel.”

“I was going to go for a run,” she said, but her legs wrapped around his waist. 

“It can wait,” he said, voice muffled against the warm skin of her neck. 

Nesta didn’t protest as her eyes fell shut. 

~~~~~

Rhysand was fast asleep as Feyre scribbled a note and put it on his nightstand.

Running to the store. Be back soon. Stay in bed. Love you.

She hurried out of the apartment, careful to keep quiet, careful not to wake him. 

As she got in her car and headed for the grocery store, Feyre decided to take the long way around. She stopped short at an apartment complex she was all too familiar with.

Before she could convince herself otherwise, Feyre hopped out of her car and walked up the stairs, down the landing, until she was standing in front of her old front door.

She pounded her first against the thick wood. 

He opened it, a minute later, looking like he just woke up. His golden eyebrows rose. “Feyre?”

She shook her head, fists shaking at her sides as she looked at Tamlin. A thousand thoughts ran through her mind, but only one word came out, full of anger and hostility and judgment.

“Why?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty  @starkovsnesta​   @redisriding​  @photofeesh

@mariamuses​   @tswaney17    @amaranthas-whore​   @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr​  @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin​  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn​

@hashtolanashoba  @poisonous00​  @chemicha @samotita​

@mynewdreamwasyou​ @humming-asong​  

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s​

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass​  @stars-falling​

@ifangirlninja  @sleeping-and-books  @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem​

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq​

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books​ @alwayss-reading​

@amren-courtofdreams  @b00kworm​

@wifeofchrishemsworth​  @booksstorm​

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts​

@humanexile

@booksbooksbooksworld

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

@shhhimreading03​

@emilyrose111294​

@negativenesta​

@argentumstella​

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae​

@feyrethedarklady​

@starryandbooks​

@gingerglides​

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit​

@6255igntm​

@littlehoneyybee

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@aelin-rowan-whitehorn​

@julemmaes​

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@superspiritfestival  @the-dark-swan​  @girlgotattitude448​  @eversincebeirut​

@midnightrose-reader​  @lord-douglas-the-third​  @thestarguidingyouhome​

@empress-ofbloodshed​

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous